#you were right and i feel happier
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#now this may sound crazy#but i think i’ve broken the deep parasocial relationship with louis#i love him and i’ll never stop loving him#but i now feel like it’s not the obsessive kind where he takes over my life#not to be Like That but the medication may have played a part on it#i can enjoy my other interests and focus on my real life goals and responsibilities#as i said i’ll never stop loving him. he’s my fave. my baby. my pookie#but i can now establish a healthy relationship with him#i feel like this is better and it’ll allow me to enjoy him in a positive way#i’m excited actually. i can follow him without needing to know everything he’s doing all the time#i just feel great right now and i’m gonna enjoy it for as long as it lasts. and when the bad days come i’ll keep going#because the good days are worth it#also this is a formal request to not send me any discourse about the husbands#i’m not interested in engaging in that anymore#no stunts. no bbg. nothing about that. just chilling#i’m here for the music and their journeys#riley if you’re reading this. thank you for being patient with me and letting me rant to you and for the intervention#you were right and i feel happier#love you so much#logan.txt
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im feeling sappy tonight. shoutout to the baby tboys begging to be forcemasced. one day you will become the man you want to be. within the kink its wonderful when another man grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you headfirst in. its wonderful to share in the joy he felt when he started. in reality know youre afraid. it takes guts to let yourself be who you want. dont take your feelings lightly and let yourself explore. you are not alone but its also up to you. take care. much love.
#i wont kinkshame cis people who use the tags but i want to make it clear that youre a guest in this house#and that it may be just a kink for you but ive seen lots of posts on here#from trans guys who just need a push in the right direction yk?#for me kink is an extension of who i am so i understand how the kink can help you discover who you are#and i know what its like to be afraid to change#like you dont want to leave behind the girl you were. like you dont want to take up space because of how society treats girls#or to make yourself a soft femboy because you dont want to be scary#and its okay to feel that way and its okay to want to stay that way#but it may be a sign of youre sticking around in these tags that maybe youd be happier if you were more than that#just think about it i love you#force masc#forcemasc#t4t nsft#ftm nsft#trans nsft#i might delete this later cause its probablt not well articulated#also lmk if somethinf i said was bad ive been trying to check myself on like being sensitive to different people ig
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for requestober ! my heart's been aching for yanderapy for a while and i would like to get something about them :3 i don't have a specific prompt . i do like to see them more on the angsty-unhealthy-relationship side lol like some of the requests you made last year . overall , just seeing anything about them would be nice . X3
Day 1 - Sodium Chloride Couple
#My art#Requestober#Yanderapy#First req of the year is my boys!! I am blessed!! 💕 Thank you for thinking of them <3#Hopefully this will sate your desires enough - it's not exactly angsty but I did try to bring in a bit of their weirdness lol#Y'know that one post that's just accidentally recreating the Homestuck shipping quadrant?#I still know very little about Homestuck but does Kismesis do anything to make the two chill out or is it just aimed at each other lol#Personally I really like the concept of a sodium chloride couple! That two people match each other's freak just right and become harmless#Because that's these two so much!! They're perfect for each other on accident (on purpose) and make each other better!#Ishida would ask too much and Mitsu would give too much if they were with different people#But their tendencies balance each other out - make them realize they're going too far because of what they see in the other#That and they genuinely like each other <3 They want to improve the other both selfishly and altruistically#Selfishly because then they get the best version of the other all to themselves hehe <3#But altruistically because they wish for each other's happiness and gain confidence in their ability to grant it#They're good for each other's self esteem! Although Ishi was already pretty self-confident before they got together haha#He feels happier and more whole with Micchan tho <3 Like he wants to - and can be! - his best self for and with him#All the mushy-gushyness on them being silly together lol - clearly it's been too long since I've doodled them I'm rambly ♪#Had a lot of fun with the hands here :) Ishi holding Mitsu's face so delicately ♫#They probably could (and probably do lol) switch who's got what and be just as happy#They just enjoy being together and making each other all head-silly haha <3 Not hard for either to achieve ♪
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wait. random idea. Pathetic(blame candy) muzan & kokushibo are exes from Centuries ago and he has Complaints hed like to talk about w him but all hes getting to now is Nakime. hes so sick of his bullshit and just enduring it and goes to kagaya like 'i have to kill kibutsuji. ill help you kill him & the other upper moons just PLEASE im so sick of this shit. i need to kill him' 'well you arent killing me so ill give you the benefit of doubt-'
since they broke up he's hacked at the curse to the point he can snap it Whenever without muzan noticing, he finally did so & went to kagaya bc he can Feel shit's gonna pick up soon. he has his memories but he Ignores Them bc hes ashamed and kinda projecting it onto muzan. he has to kill muzan to kill his shame kinda fucked up coping mechanism yk?
the hashira try to kill him On Sight together but he calmly deflects everything while explaining hes working with them to kill kibutsuji. reluctant acceptance with the note from kagaya giving him a pass. most of them fully believe its a trap tho.
koku seeing tanjiro & his earrings and starting to approach, giyuu already has his blade lodged in his neck as a warning/threat & tanjiro staring at him in shock like 'HUH?? THE MAN FROM MY DREAMS?? HES A DEMON NOW? WAIT WHATS HE DOING HERE-'
#allied kokushibo au#he gets to have a conversation w tanjiro (giyuu watching like a fucking hawk) about his brother & sun breathing and all that- nezuko and her#conquering the sun- koku agreeing that of any demon she deserves to have the sun's blessing. not fuckin *muzan*. he'll want his grubby#little hands on her as soon as he finds out. You. practice sun breathing Right Now you have to be Ready for this.#kokushibo#tsugikuni michikatsu#kny spoilers#<probably need to add that since this is like Entirely surrounding the final few arcs#he talks to tomayo&yushiro and shinobu and gets in on their plans. maybe stop shinobu from her suicide attempt & deals with douma himself#leaves more than just tanjiro and giyuu to fight akaza#i dont remember how kaigaku's goes isnt zenitsu the only one? if so he can keep that thats his atonement whatever for jigoro#nakime however is going to have much more of a Time defending against like 4 hashira at once#yadda yadda less casualties happier ending. koku not knowing what the fuck to do now. stop the need to Eat People to live obviously but what#the fuck. he still hates himself. all the tereible shit hes done and for What. does he kill himself? walking into the sun seems like a good#way to go. fitting yk? but if he becomes fully human like nezuko did what the fuck does he Do. just. Live? after all the shit he did? no..#cool at the beginning but the ending has many questions#i do think he'd want to kill himself but i also think he'd be scared to see his brother in the afterlife. in canon it feels like a spur of#the moment Explode Yourself bc the emotions were overwhelming in the moment#or maybe its been way too long since ive read the manga and this shits ALL out of character#whatever it was funnie at first but then i put too much thought into it#def wanna see somethn with him & tanjiro talking about how theyre connected#kny manga spoilers
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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They Both Leave AU Snippet 9
Bruno dreaded having this conversation. He preferred to not bring up serious issues and would rather quietly change and sweep the issue under the rug without ever bringing it to light. This time... this time is different.
Bruno tried to quietly pull away from Mirabel, tried to not be in physical contact with her, tried to not be as affectionate. Mirabel always looked confused and sad when he did so, however, and some of her mannerisms from the beginning of her stay in Santa Laura returned. Retreating into her room, looking around as if making sure there is no one to criticize her, taking on all the responsibilities of the household. She had noticed his changed behavior and not knowing why he changed had really hurt her. It probably reminded her of her family changing their behavior towards her after her failed ceremony. Mirabel doesn't talk much about the Encanto, neither does he, but she did mention it in passing.
So Bruno took a deep breath and entered the apartment they shared.
"Hey, Bruno! Welcome home from work!" Mirabel greeted him as she put dinner plates on the table.
"Mirabel. Dinner looks good, as it always does."
They sat down and ate in silence. It was awkward and strange, and it distracted Bruno from his thoughts, especially since Mirabel looked so sad.
"Mirabel, I would like to explain why I've been so distant lately."
Mirabel's full attention and stare rested on Bruno's face as he continued, his own eyes dropping to the table, unable to meet Mirabel's.
"Some members of the community have talked with me and made mention of a rumor that you and I are... in a romantic relationship. At first, I did not put stock in these rumors. It... it was only with watching couples in the town and examining our relationship that I noticed that there might be reason for these rumors."
Bruno paused, not knowing how to go forward and not willing to look up.
"While part of our closeness can be explained by the fact that we are family and shared very similar experiences with our family, as well as the fact that we live together, some of it... some of it can't."
"You're worried that the nature of our relationship is outside what is normal for an uncle and niece," Mirabel's soft voice finished the thought he had been struggling to convey.
Bruno nodded.
Mirabel sighed. "Anna mentioned the rumors to me a few days ago. I see the concern, but I truly do not see anything wrong with it. What exactly is leading you to pull away from me?"
Bruno had hoped Mirabel would not ask this. But he cannot tell her the full truth.
"Because I fear that by being as close as we are, we are inviting trouble and the potential desire to go further than long hugs and long glances."
Because he can see it going further and, on some levels, wants it to go further.
"Bruno, please look at me."
He does. Mirabel's eyes are soft, not hard as he feared, and there is both a sadness and a peace on her face, a type of caring look, that makes his breath stutter.
"If it eases your fear, we can cut back on the physical affection. Spend more time apart and with other people. I do not think there is anything to worry about, but I understand wanting to cover all our bases. Thank you for talking with me about this. I know these types of conversations are difficult for you."
A weight is eased from Bruno's shoulders and he smiles for the first time that week.
They finish dinner and clean up. Bruno sits on one end of the couch to read and Mirabel sits on the other to work on a personal project. At the end of the evening, they say goodnight and head to their separate rooms.
Bruno laid down to sleep, satisfied that he has prevented a horrible tragedy of incest and sin and yet...
Bruno fell asleep cold.
#brumira#mirabel x bruno#brumira fanfic#bruno madrigal#mirabel madrigal#they both leave au#they both leave au snippet#in previous snippets you see bruno and mirabel sitting right next to each other and laying their head onto the other's shoulder.#in my unwritten stuff they also hug and even kiss each other goodnight on the cheeks.#so this is the awkward conversation about boundaries that i hadn't written yet.#they'll keep this up for a few months up to half a year before breaking and going back to the way things were#in that 3-6 months feelings grow and mirabel finally sees the danger that bruno saw but decides that its more important to be close to brun#the only person who has ever fully supported her than it is to be mindful of the sin of being with a relative in a romantic way.#bruno decides that mirabel's happiness is more important than the eternal damnation that will come#especially once he sees how much happier she is when in constant contact with him.#and he decides he doesn't want to push away the only person who's seen both his good and his bad and wanted him around anyways.#but that's later! right now bruno feels cold because he didn't get his mirabel hug and he's sad :(#its okay mirabel is sad too shes just putting on a happy face for ya because she loves you.#enough of my rambling
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Hey, I'm a queer teen, male at birth, and took that trans quiz you made a while ago. I saw the @ at the end and thought to reach out. I'm really confused, I just feel wrong, I don't hate my body it's just like I feel like a girl, I really don't know. Most of my friends probably would support me if I was trans, I mean I already came out as bi, and they didn't care, but I don't feel like I can talk to them about this. I really just don't know. Help?
fixed it for you
#kahdkshfd ok jokes aside. i want you to know that the only requirement to be a girl is to feel like / want to be a girl.#regardless of how your friends may or may not react or what you were assigned or how you feel about your body#you dont have to hate your body to be trans. you dont have to feel like youd rather die than continue in the body youre in#you deserve better than a life you simply tolerate#than a body you simply tolerate#or perhaps a body you like but feel like is missing something#or even a body that you objectively think is better than most and are scared of ''''ruining'''' by transitioning#your body is your house and you deserve to decorate it however you see fit#i could survive on ramen‚ probably be pretty happy doing so too tbh#but i choose not to because other foods make me happier#and that doesnt mean i have to cut ramen entirely out‚ i do love me a cupsoup#it just means i like other things more and would rather be happier#and similarly‚ being a girl doesnt mean youd have to give up any masculinity that you love#trans butches exist. in both directions#if you feel like a girl you can be a girl. right here right now#if the idea of changing your outward self isnt appealing then you dont have to#you can just. be a girl anyways#origibberish#gibberasks#uquibberish
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They say to never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM but it's always before 9PM somewhere. Anyway I think I might be a therian
#don't take this post 100% seriously I've been sick and#crying my eyes out to “no more birthdays” associating the song with trying to relive a childhood that isn't mine (childhood trauuuumaaaaaa)#that's a big problem I have#deep down I always think someday I'm gonna wake up and I will have been born a few years earlier-#so I can be an “appropriate” age to experience all my favorite media as it releases and interact accordingly#i always think- if that were the case I could have avoided my traumatic years and grown up much happier#don't get me wrong- I'm happy right now- you'd be hard pressed to find me on a day I'm not#but there's some existentialism that comes with wanting to magically wake up a different age- in the past- in a different life#I want to have lived any life but mine#and I just keep waiting for it to feel better again#it never does#crowfish crap#that therian part is definitely coinciding with autism and gender non conformity#when I picture myself I immediately picture my fursona- not a human who (at the moment) appears feminine#i hardly know anything about the subculture itself however#blathering#its true btw don't trust how you feel about your life at night time
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#vent#man I need to scream about this so bad...#so just like ignore the tags if you dont wanna see me venting about the abuse and ableism and biphobia my bf and i are facing#A year ago me and my bf moved out together#for reference we were 24 and 25 at the time and wed been dating 8 years#my bfs parents absolutely flipped out. like complete meltdown#his mom called me and yelled at me calling me all kinds of names and saying she thinks im manipulating her son#screaming at me and anything I said just made her get more mad#His dad also hid his keys so me and my sister had to drive him to work#she called my parents too to try and have them break us up#which just made my parents say my boyfriend is welcome to stay with us if he feels unsafe#which ive never heard them offer to someone so it was BAD bad#well we moved out anyways and my bf has been way happier and healthier since leaving his parents#well new year comes around and they call him and have this huge conversation about how theyve realized they were wrong#and how they want to apologize to me and how theyre proud of him and they think he did the right thing#well my bf finally agrees to talk to them again after a year of no contact so he and his mom go to lunch#and immediately his mom says actually no i dont want to apologize to deo#she's weird and her art is weird and I dont like her#and i think she's taking advantage of you because she cant drive#she insulted my family and said he should break up with me because I'm disabled#she said i have no right to draw gay people and that it's weird I write gay stories#just. incredibly mean.#and the worst bit is that she's abusing my bf like this in my name#saying she wouldnt be like this if i were different. a different girl or a different person or less 'weird'#its been horrible and I'm so tired. at least we're moving again so she wont know where we live#a year of this shit man#delete later#sorry to the people who already know about this I'm just really struggling with it and having a hard time moving past it
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i've been thinking a lot recently abt how different my current job is to my first job and how much more i like it and why, and it really just comes down to like. basic humanity. at the hardware store, it was a really intense "time to lean time to clean" mentality, we weren't allowed to chat with the other cashiers even during slow days, we couldn't get caught reading/drawing/goofing off while on cash, we weren't even allowed to leave the corral. at the supermarket, we're expected to take our time w the customers and talk to them. the managers and other departments come out when they're bored to come chat w us! i read the local paper during slow hours and draw in between customers, and its great! everyone is also just really nice and friendly which is fantastic, i can't name one person over there i don't get along with
and i happened to remember the first meeting i had to go to for the hardware store lmfao. i showed up in uniform bc there was no indication that it was a meeting instead of a regular shift, we were basically told to go stock the shelves/face items for an hour (? still not sure why. they did this to all of us and it did Not need to be done) and while we were paid for that time i was NOT trained for it, so when customers came up and asked like "hey wheres the plumbing section" i had to go "um. i don't know :) let's go find someone else" and had no way to deal with it when they inevitably got really fucking mad w me for not being able to help them
and then when the meeting finally actually started, it opened w the manager going "ok i heard some of you had some things you wanted to discuss!" and a couple of the other cashiers reading off a list of issues they wanted to address. none of which were actually addressed. it was shit like "when you guys come down to customer service and immediately disregard the policies we've just explained, it makes us look like the bad guys and gets us treated very poorly by future customers" "ok well are we supposed do about that :)"/"you need to give us our breaks on time. if managers have to be in charge of telling us when we're allowed to go on break, they need to make sure they're not hours late when doing that" "well we're really busy so sometimes we forget but i guess we'll try :)"
... yeah. if i had been a little bit smarter at the time, i would have realized 2wks in that this was a baby union, we were being exploited and i was abt to have the shittiest fucking summer lmao
#this is a bit of a long pointless post but i was thinkin abt it the other day and just laughing#like... dude. how did i not see that as an insane red flag#those are all issues that continued throughout the summer btw :) none of it ever got fixed we were all miserable#they also had a rule that if you saw someone stealing you were supposed to CHASE THEM and i mentally checked out of that job right there#i am not going to put myself in danger over a fucking power drill or a garden light. bye#like. if someone is stealing they can just fucking have it. i hate it here anyway idc if i get fired for it#levi.txt#like seriously i am So much happier at the grocery store. this is worlds better#theyre both minimum wage theyre basically the same job (cashier) but its not even comparable#i feel like a person. i dont dread going into work. i feel like if anything happened the other employees would have my back#and so would the managers!#we have a fucking code name to say over the pa in case someone is sexually harassing you! manager AND security will show up!!#and you can LEAVE THE CASH to go calm down and take a breather when that happens!!#at the hardware store it was just. if you want to radio a supervisor abt it you can try but it might take them 15mins. if they show up#in the meantime you cant make that person leave you alone. and theyre going to know exactly who you called and why#also just on a personal note. grocery store is doing wonders for my social anxiety. its like a vr simulation for social interactions#you effectively cant fuck up the interaction too bad people will at most think youre kind of funny and then move on w their day
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:’( i yearn for the sea
#I’m sure I’ll see my wonderful blue maiden in a couple of months but still#it’s just…I can hardly wear a swimsuit without intense dysphoria#ofc it gets better once I’m actually in the water but it’s rough yanno#I miss swimming out on a calmer day and letting the waves just gently lift me up and down#and I’d stare out toward the horizon and wonder about the wonderful places I could go to if I swam toward it#and the fish brushed by my legs like they were giving me little kisses#and everything just felt okay and peaceful and perfect I smiled#I miss the comforting embrace of the dear ocean :((#things are too different now and nothing feels right anymore#idk man. I just want to see the ocean again and swim and feel alive again#back when I was stupider and happier and I still loved my body and myself#my darling the sea…they have ravaged both our bodies but only you can remain loved#ramble#vent#im having big feelings sorry#have to be a poetic bitch for a moment
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hey alexa what’s the morality of pretending you picked up a spare shift at work and that’s why you ghosted your friend for a day because talking to them is draining and you were very tired last night and now it’s been over 18 hours and it’s a bit awkward to respond now
#silv's back on her bs#vent#sors but oh my god#i love my friends i love him but it's just so.#it is so draining talking to him when all he seems to talk about is how much happier he is (which is v good im happy for him) now that he's#friends w me and some other people and how we're so much better and we're his best friends and his other current friends are the worst and#his life USED to suck but now it's so much better but remember how much it sucked and yk fuck whatever we were talking about before when we#can talk about how bad the past was for him i just#i feel so bad for saying that bc i genuinely love him (/p) and want to be able to talk to him but i'm so drained from literally everything#else going on in my life that when i see his notifs pop up i just. can't be bothered to open them#he texts the gc last night like 'you guys have different friend groups that you eat w at lunch right?' (we have lunch together every other#day bc of club stuff) and when me and my other friend was like 'yeah what's up' he starts going on about how his current friends suck and#ignore him and i feel so bad for being annoyed at him for this but i just#need a second to BREATHE for gods sake#i do not blame him for feeling terrible and i know that I need to tell him how im feeling but i just.#i'm consistently never getting enough sleep and am piled under assignments that were due way too long ago and i'm drowning okay#and i feel like there's literally no one there as a lifeguard that i can count on and someone that i thought could at least be floating#above me (not needed to save me but at least There) is pushing me down further#i just#god#sorry that was a bit silly of me
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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Oof wow, just got hit with this feeling that I've wasted some of my best years. Truly one of those moments where you take a look around like "what have I got to show for myself?"
Am I about to have a mid-life crisis??
#fuck man#what would make me feel a sense of fulfillment?#what milestones would make me feel like i've 'made it?'#yes i wish i had traveled more by now#but even after travel you just come home to whatever you were doing#different job maybe? although my job isn't that terrible#but it's not really 'mine“#what skills did i hope to have by this ppint?#would i simply be happier with more friends like a had years ago?#or would i still feel unfulfilled#is a partber the missing piece to my life that keeps it from feeling whole?#have i been wasting these past years staying in and not dating when i should make the most of my youth?#or should i at least have been having some unconventional casual sex to explote more?#i want to believe it's not too late for me to have a life that feels right#i could just fuck off to another country and start having sex again#but would that be enough?#i think deep down i want a partner but no one has ever felt like 'my person'#and what do i even have to offer another person anyway#if i can't have a partner i guess i should at least have some wild sex before rhe ravages of age make it difficult#fun memories at least for when i inevitably end up qlone#bylarmist dread#delete later
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remember being a teen and watching shit like soul eater and kimono jihen and thinking god damn i wish I had a perpetually exhausted but badass mentor to help me get through things?
well now im 27 and im the perpetually exhausted mentor with bedhead and a slight alcohol problem to my 15 year old cousin and im gonna tear my hair out about not being able to just let her stay for a bit because i know it doesnt matter fuck all what i say to her dad, shes still gonna be treated like shit just because shes a moody teen with undiagnosed add and an autustic brother who constantly talks over everyone. i suddenly need a cigarette.
#like he was going on about shes doing bad in school because she sleeps late and all she needs to do#is got to bed early!!! reset her internal clock!!#BRO IM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE AT 27 STILL ONLY FALLING ASLEEP AT 5AM AND WAKING AT NOON BEVAUSE THATS NOT A THING YOU CAN CONTROL#ESPECIALLY WITH ADD/ADHD.#IM LITERALLY DIAGNOSED I CAN TELL YOU YOURE WRONG AND I CAN EVEN SOURCE THE ARTICLES THAT EXPLAIN WHY#FUCKING ARE YOU KIDDING ME#im still mad cause i sat with with poor kid while she tried to keep from bawling her eyes out because she made a snarky comment#about her brother talking about his coin collecting (and to be clean its not jus tthat he cant understand social cues he just literally#never stops making noise. we all know he cant control it but we also all know its because his parents denied he was autistic until he was 21#despite the fact he stopped maturing at 11. we love him.to death but oh my god i cant handle it for two visits a year#Of course his sibling feel like they live in an insane asylum)#like yeah it was a rude comment but fuck can you blame her?????? when shes silenced because he talks over everyone then gets awkward#because she has no idea what to say when she DOES get the chance to speak of course shes going to resent him#ALSO NOT TO MENTIONT HE FACT SHES CHINESE AND WERE ARE ALL VERY VERY WHITE#SHES GOT OTHER SHIT SHE SHOULD BE IN THERAPY FOR#DO NOT MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED FOR HER BY BRINGING ACTUAL SYMPTOMS AND HER SCHOOLING INTO THIS#My god i hate academics like the world does not end because you failed a math class. i dropped out at 16 and all the useful skills i have#i gained after the world opened up when i left and i wasnt being told no thats not on a standardized test you cant do that#im much fucking happier and frankly intelligent than the rest of my family thats wasted time on universities#and like being happy is what matter#why would you wsnt her to be “sucessful” if she isnt also happy#like if school fucking sucks for her then why send her to a rich white private school and fucking SUMMER SCHOOL#imo thats just abuse#like the graded education system is inherently abusive anyway but its worse when its pushed on her like that#i need to move so we have room out east for her to come stay and maybe do some classes free of them#but i dont work and cant drive so i cant help her#hell i can barely take care of myself#but im just so fucking mad on her behalf and she doesnt deserve to feel this way#its happened twice in the three days shes been here#just they all need therapy but they need to fucking listen to her ans i know she wont even feel okay speaking up
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i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!
mdni.
satoru gojo is doomed.
why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.
crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.
of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.
you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.
he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.
more.
that's right, you were more.
recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.
surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.
he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.
so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.
it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?
his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-
“satoru?”
his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.
“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.
what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-
“satoru!”
he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.
it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.
the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.
(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)
he should be neutered. effective immediately.
it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:
“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-
“...is that it?”
and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?
he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.
yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.
#ᯓᡣ𐭩 kiyara.#✎ᝰ.#i was bored once again.#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo imagine#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut
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