#you were right and i feel happier
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#now this may sound crazy#but i think i’ve broken the deep parasocial relationship with louis#i love him and i’ll never stop loving him#but i now feel like it’s not the obsessive kind where he takes over my life#not to be Like That but the medication may have played a part on it#i can enjoy my other interests and focus on my real life goals and responsibilities#as i said i’ll never stop loving him. he’s my fave. my baby. my pookie#but i can now establish a healthy relationship with him#i feel like this is better and it’ll allow me to enjoy him in a positive way#i’m excited actually. i can follow him without needing to know everything he’s doing all the time#i just feel great right now and i’m gonna enjoy it for as long as it lasts. and when the bad days come i’ll keep going#because the good days are worth it#also this is a formal request to not send me any discourse about the husbands#i’m not interested in engaging in that anymore#no stunts. no bbg. nothing about that. just chilling#i’m here for the music and their journeys#riley if you’re reading this. thank you for being patient with me and letting me rant to you and for the intervention#you were right and i feel happier#love you so much#logan.txt
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im feeling sappy tonight. shoutout to the baby tboys begging to be forcemasced. one day you will become the man you want to be. within the kink its wonderful when another man grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you headfirst in. its wonderful to share in the joy he felt when he started. in reality know youre afraid. it takes guts to let yourself be who you want. dont take your feelings lightly and let yourself explore. you are not alone but its also up to you. take care. much love.
#i wont kinkshame cis people who use the tags but i want to make it clear that youre a guest in this house#and that it may be just a kink for you but ive seen lots of posts on here#from trans guys who just need a push in the right direction yk?#for me kink is an extension of who i am so i understand how the kink can help you discover who you are#and i know what its like to be afraid to change#like you dont want to leave behind the girl you were. like you dont want to take up space because of how society treats girls#or to make yourself a soft femboy because you dont want to be scary#and its okay to feel that way and its okay to want to stay that way#but it may be a sign of youre sticking around in these tags that maybe youd be happier if you were more than that#just think about it i love you#force masc#forcemasc#t4t nsft#ftm nsft#trans nsft#i might delete this later cause its probablt not well articulated#also lmk if somethinf i said was bad ive been trying to check myself on like being sensitive to different people ig
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for requestober ! my heart's been aching for yanderapy for a while and i would like to get something about them :3 i don't have a specific prompt . i do like to see them more on the angsty-unhealthy-relationship side lol like some of the requests you made last year . overall , just seeing anything about them would be nice . X3
Day 1 - Sodium Chloride Couple
#My art#Requestober#Yanderapy#First req of the year is my boys!! I am blessed!! 💕 Thank you for thinking of them <3#Hopefully this will sate your desires enough - it's not exactly angsty but I did try to bring in a bit of their weirdness lol#Y'know that one post that's just accidentally recreating the Homestuck shipping quadrant?#I still know very little about Homestuck but does Kismesis do anything to make the two chill out or is it just aimed at each other lol#Personally I really like the concept of a sodium chloride couple! That two people match each other's freak just right and become harmless#Because that's these two so much!! They're perfect for each other on accident (on purpose) and make each other better!#Ishida would ask too much and Mitsu would give too much if they were with different people#But their tendencies balance each other out - make them realize they're going too far because of what they see in the other#That and they genuinely like each other <3 They want to improve the other both selfishly and altruistically#Selfishly because then they get the best version of the other all to themselves hehe <3#But altruistically because they wish for each other's happiness and gain confidence in their ability to grant it#They're good for each other's self esteem! Although Ishi was already pretty self-confident before they got together haha#He feels happier and more whole with Micchan tho <3 Like he wants to - and can be! - his best self for and with him#All the mushy-gushyness on them being silly together lol - clearly it's been too long since I've doodled them I'm rambly ♪#Had a lot of fun with the hands here :) Ishi holding Mitsu's face so delicately ♫#They probably could (and probably do lol) switch who's got what and be just as happy#They just enjoy being together and making each other all head-silly haha <3 Not hard for either to achieve ♪
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Just got a rude reminder about how great it is to never have children/ be an only child.
There's too much drama involved with dying, apparently.
#when grandaddy died. everyone was arguing over this and that. speaking over his widow and trying to plan his funeral instead of her and his#two daughters. three people who truly knew and listened to him. My mom was almost forced out of the first row at the funeral service by her#step brothers. mom and I got cheated out of things that were bequethed to us. and there was a lot of fighting.#my brother died and his son wanted some ashes. Momma didn't know until it was too late bc my nephews mom and her family wanted to start shit#he was not allowed to come with us to the graveyard. they forced him to leave before he could speak for himself.#some old man just died and my mom's friend (who made herself the center of attention at my brother's funeral) just called bitching and#cussin about some body shooting a dog and starting all kinds of shit over dogs and land and all that jazz like#and watching Dallas... both J.R. Ewings are obsessed with money. land. succession. and inheritance. and they always start trouble over that#Miss Ellie's brother came around bc he was dying and wanted to spend his last days with his sister while Jock and Jr started shit about land#ownership. Garrison didn't want Sourhfork even though HE inherited the ranch like. bro#how am I the only normal person in this shitshow?? I have Bipolar AuDHD!?!?!?! I halluncinate! BRO!!#death#inheritance#succession#family drama#ugh#tbh#even if my brother was alive I feel like there would be less drama between him and I.#I think I'd just take what I wanted and leave the rest with him. Is that what Mama wants? Absolutely not...#but I don't care. We can't take anything with us when we go. It'll all end up in a dump. antique shop. or collector's house anyway#none of it matters#most people never leave a mark on the world and THAT'S OKAY! we don't have to be remarkable to have worth right now#everyone will die when it's time for them to... no need to kick up a fuss.#the land might end up ruined or sold to the government or developed into something amazing. so what?#you're dead! IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT!! that's the beauty of it all!#the shortness. the finality of it all. Life's too short for bullshit. You gotta party like it's your last day. every day.#one of the most rebellious things we can do in the fave of facism is to live true and unbothered (i know it's difficult)#if They want to suffer. They can. Don't submit in advance! I believe in Hope. It's all we have#I'll get my top surgery in time. I'll make my transition! I'll pick a name!! I believe in a future where We can live happier!#because I love humanity! I love the Earth and everything she has to offer. The endless beauty of living in spite of it all
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this is smth thats not gonna make sense to most ppl who follow me but 'm Thinking again so tag rambly
#i really miss lightdogs! they were so fun and Yes okay the community. in hindsight. kind of sucked butt#but i had a lotta fun there and even though i DID need the money from selling my dogs i miss them#like i know the sad fam is SAFE and fine and i wouldn't wanna get them back from the person who has them bc i trust that person#and i dont .. know where the silly babies are but im sure theyre fine too#and the few others i had like redwood and whatnot i've made ocs to fit the story roles they had so i don't NEED them back#but idk there was smth about the simplicity of them that i really liked#and i haven't been able to confidently make a new oc who captures that level of simplicity without feeling Bad or making them complex#and idk. friend i like got me into them so theyre nostalgic n happy#its been like .#fiveee years... but i think about them a lot#i don't know if i'd want a Lightdog™ again or if id be happier to just find some sorta medium where i can make a character that gives me#the same emotions that the dogs did#but man if it was still a species you KNOW i'd be busting my ass right now to get sp-inspired customs from the mods LMAO#though by now i'm sure there'd be so many it'd be REALLY hard to pick a theme lolol#idk! rolls around. i'm not big on species anymore and find myself only creating one or two lately and then sorta drifting off bc i do#personal development outside of the species world#but i like the Feeling of being in a community- and when i didnt have Fandom™ to give me community i was like. unhealthy about species tbh#overworking myself and sometimes spending money i didnt really have; i like that now i'm Better about it#but man.......................... critters................................ sigh......#pine prattles#this one really is a fuckin prattle
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Since you rebloged my post (which i was WAITING for you to do with batted breath or whatever the saying is), let mz info dump on my headcanon.
To me, since Mondo would become a carpenter (in the best future possible for my boys), he would stay home most of the time to take care of the house. At first, he was quite insecure about it because it's usually, you know... a girl's job.
But after talking with Kiyotaka, (and his well deserved therapist) he started slowly unlearning his deep rooted misoginy. Hell, now he is even PROUD of his knowledge, since a lot of men dont know how to do that now days, so he is like "actually, i'm the manliest of man because i can actually take care of my own house !"
Anyway, healing and joy for the boy
I love these scenarios about Mondo and Taka living together, specially when there's Mondo healing from his trauma and insecurities involved LEDOJWLDJLSJ I love seeing my boy getting the happiness he deserves...
BUT WHAT YOU SAID IS SO REAL, I think that at first he would be insecure about having to do everything around the house, specially because I don't think Mondo is that organized.... Taka is a much more organized person than he is, but he doesn't actually have the time to help Mondo with all that stuff. I think that at this point, he would already go to therapy and learn to deal with his insecurities and actually learn to organize things better, it would be fun to see Mondo actually being proud of his skills and also about his work as a carpenter.... I love this stupid mf so much he deserves all the happiness ever
#morangoowada asks#I FELL RIGHT INTO YOUR TRAP. YOU WERE WAITING FOR ME TO REBLOG IT#seeing happy Mondo makes me feel even happier.... Fuck I love him too much
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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They Both Leave AU Snippet 9
Bruno dreaded having this conversation. He preferred to not bring up serious issues and would rather quietly change and sweep the issue under the rug without ever bringing it to light. This time... this time is different.
Bruno tried to quietly pull away from Mirabel, tried to not be in physical contact with her, tried to not be as affectionate. Mirabel always looked confused and sad when he did so, however, and some of her mannerisms from the beginning of her stay in Santa Laura returned. Retreating into her room, looking around as if making sure there is no one to criticize her, taking on all the responsibilities of the household. She had noticed his changed behavior and not knowing why he changed had really hurt her. It probably reminded her of her family changing their behavior towards her after her failed ceremony. Mirabel doesn't talk much about the Encanto, neither does he, but she did mention it in passing.
So Bruno took a deep breath and entered the apartment they shared.
"Hey, Bruno! Welcome home from work!" Mirabel greeted him as she put dinner plates on the table.
"Mirabel. Dinner looks good, as it always does."
They sat down and ate in silence. It was awkward and strange, and it distracted Bruno from his thoughts, especially since Mirabel looked so sad.
"Mirabel, I would like to explain why I've been so distant lately."
Mirabel's full attention and stare rested on Bruno's face as he continued, his own eyes dropping to the table, unable to meet Mirabel's.
"Some members of the community have talked with me and made mention of a rumor that you and I are... in a romantic relationship. At first, I did not put stock in these rumors. It... it was only with watching couples in the town and examining our relationship that I noticed that there might be reason for these rumors."
Bruno paused, not knowing how to go forward and not willing to look up.
"While part of our closeness can be explained by the fact that we are family and shared very similar experiences with our family, as well as the fact that we live together, some of it... some of it can't."
"You're worried that the nature of our relationship is outside what is normal for an uncle and niece," Mirabel's soft voice finished the thought he had been struggling to convey.
Bruno nodded.
Mirabel sighed. "Anna mentioned the rumors to me a few days ago. I see the concern, but I truly do not see anything wrong with it. What exactly is leading you to pull away from me?"
Bruno had hoped Mirabel would not ask this. But he cannot tell her the full truth.
"Because I fear that by being as close as we are, we are inviting trouble and the potential desire to go further than long hugs and long glances."
Because he can see it going further and, on some levels, wants it to go further.
"Bruno, please look at me."
He does. Mirabel's eyes are soft, not hard as he feared, and there is both a sadness and a peace on her face, a type of caring look, that makes his breath stutter.
"If it eases your fear, we can cut back on the physical affection. Spend more time apart and with other people. I do not think there is anything to worry about, but I understand wanting to cover all our bases. Thank you for talking with me about this. I know these types of conversations are difficult for you."
A weight is eased from Bruno's shoulders and he smiles for the first time that week.
They finish dinner and clean up. Bruno sits on one end of the couch to read and Mirabel sits on the other to work on a personal project. At the end of the evening, they say goodnight and head to their separate rooms.
Bruno laid down to sleep, satisfied that he has prevented a horrible tragedy of incest and sin and yet...
Bruno fell asleep cold.
#brumira#mirabel x bruno#brumira fanfic#bruno madrigal#mirabel madrigal#they both leave au#they both leave au snippet#in previous snippets you see bruno and mirabel sitting right next to each other and laying their head onto the other's shoulder.#in my unwritten stuff they also hug and even kiss each other goodnight on the cheeks.#so this is the awkward conversation about boundaries that i hadn't written yet.#they'll keep this up for a few months up to half a year before breaking and going back to the way things were#in that 3-6 months feelings grow and mirabel finally sees the danger that bruno saw but decides that its more important to be close to brun#the only person who has ever fully supported her than it is to be mindful of the sin of being with a relative in a romantic way.#bruno decides that mirabel's happiness is more important than the eternal damnation that will come#especially once he sees how much happier she is when in constant contact with him.#and he decides he doesn't want to push away the only person who's seen both his good and his bad and wanted him around anyways.#but that's later! right now bruno feels cold because he didn't get his mirabel hug and he's sad :(#its okay mirabel is sad too shes just putting on a happy face for ya because she loves you.#enough of my rambling
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Hey, I'm a queer teen, male at birth, and took that trans quiz you made a while ago. I saw the @ at the end and thought to reach out. I'm really confused, I just feel wrong, I don't hate my body it's just like I feel like a girl, I really don't know. Most of my friends probably would support me if I was trans, I mean I already came out as bi, and they didn't care, but I don't feel like I can talk to them about this. I really just don't know. Help?
fixed it for you
#kahdkshfd ok jokes aside. i want you to know that the only requirement to be a girl is to feel like / want to be a girl.#regardless of how your friends may or may not react or what you were assigned or how you feel about your body#you dont have to hate your body to be trans. you dont have to feel like youd rather die than continue in the body youre in#you deserve better than a life you simply tolerate#than a body you simply tolerate#or perhaps a body you like but feel like is missing something#or even a body that you objectively think is better than most and are scared of ''''ruining'''' by transitioning#your body is your house and you deserve to decorate it however you see fit#i could survive on ramen‚ probably be pretty happy doing so too tbh#but i choose not to because other foods make me happier#and that doesnt mean i have to cut ramen entirely out‚ i do love me a cupsoup#it just means i like other things more and would rather be happier#and similarly‚ being a girl doesnt mean youd have to give up any masculinity that you love#trans butches exist. in both directions#if you feel like a girl you can be a girl. right here right now#if the idea of changing your outward self isnt appealing then you dont have to#you can just. be a girl anyways#origibberish#gibberasks#uquibberish
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:’( i yearn for the sea
#I’m sure I’ll see my wonderful blue maiden in a couple of months but still#it’s just…I can hardly wear a swimsuit without intense dysphoria#ofc it gets better once I’m actually in the water but it’s rough yanno#I miss swimming out on a calmer day and letting the waves just gently lift me up and down#and I’d stare out toward the horizon and wonder about the wonderful places I could go to if I swam toward it#and the fish brushed by my legs like they were giving me little kisses#and everything just felt okay and peaceful and perfect I smiled#I miss the comforting embrace of the dear ocean :((#things are too different now and nothing feels right anymore#idk man. I just want to see the ocean again and swim and feel alive again#back when I was stupider and happier and I still loved my body and myself#my darling the sea…they have ravaged both our bodies but only you can remain loved#ramble#vent#im having big feelings sorry#have to be a poetic bitch for a moment
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photos
i have a really bad memory. there are so many things i cannot remember without a guide. i love to keep pictures and drawings and relics of things, even simple things, like the night sky in a photograph or a neat leaf pressed and taped in a notebook. because otherwise i'll forget that the moment happened! i don't remember what savanah looked like. i dont even remember if that's how her name is spelled. i barely remember anything about rory and i only remember anything because of a photo and a card from her i still have. i don't remember what axis used to look like before this year outside of a single picture i have on a shelf. i don't remember what my old cat sebastian sounded like or how his fur felt. i don't even remember most of my own damn childhood. it's not like i had a boring childhood! i didn't! i had an amazing childhood where i was loved and i did awesome things and i cant remember it all. i went to disney world one year and i don't remember anything about it except for the fact it happened! and so i love to take pictures of everything that makes me happy and i want to capture as many moments as i can so i don't inevitably forget as i always do, always will, always have. my cat lucy? even if its the same pose, i want a picture of it for the 70th time. my birds? could you even understand the pain of losing a bird you gave your heart to, a bird who was pulling you out of the trenches of depression, and then having only two photos, two memories of it? i want these pictures so i'll never forget again. and yet. i don't like it when pictures are taken of me. because i am in a period of my life i don't want to remember. and people are so cruel and ignorant of this. even my own mother who feels exactly the same! she demands i get pictures and it kills me to see how broken i am in them. i don't want to remember that! and they'll never listen. i get it, you want to remember me as i am, but this isn't the me i want to be remembered. why do others deserve to be treated as they do but i do not? my mother, i oblige, i stand back from photographing her because she doesnt wish to remember herself as is. but she will never fulfill the wish from my end.
#im sorry#this is stupid#stupid stupid stupid#☼︎ rants#axis#i remember you asked me if i hate how you are now#likely not the original wording but anyways#thing is i dont remember who you were before#i have nothing to hate because to me youre who you were before but in a form that makes you happier#youve always been “my best friend”#whether it be now or then or in the future#thats who youll always be to me#if. if that picture i took of you on the bus is upsetting i'll delete it#i understand how it feels#oh and whoever that bitch maddy or maddie#whoever she was fuck her#wren's friend and maybe yours??#heh. cant even remember that.#she has traumatized me with just the one incident.#i never recovered from that and i dont think i ever will#she made me scared to be me without social judgement#you know? i want to dress the way i want. act the way i want.#but with her taking pictures of me like that to mock me with her friends?#never again. never again. never again. never again. never again.#this is stupid isnt it#all of this#stars i cant get anything right can i#anyways today on “☼ talks about her problems and then realize they have problems”#☼ rants in the tags
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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Oof wow, just got hit with this feeling that I've wasted some of my best years. Truly one of those moments where you take a look around like "what have I got to show for myself?"
Am I about to have a mid-life crisis??
#fuck man#what would make me feel a sense of fulfillment?#what milestones would make me feel like i've 'made it?'#yes i wish i had traveled more by now#but even after travel you just come home to whatever you were doing#different job maybe? although my job isn't that terrible#but it's not really 'mine“#what skills did i hope to have by this ppint?#would i simply be happier with more friends like a had years ago?#or would i still feel unfulfilled#is a partber the missing piece to my life that keeps it from feeling whole?#have i been wasting these past years staying in and not dating when i should make the most of my youth?#or should i at least have been having some unconventional casual sex to explote more?#i want to believe it's not too late for me to have a life that feels right#i could just fuck off to another country and start having sex again#but would that be enough?#i think deep down i want a partner but no one has ever felt like 'my person'#and what do i even have to offer another person anyway#if i can't have a partner i guess i should at least have some wild sex before rhe ravages of age make it difficult#fun memories at least for when i inevitably end up qlone#bylarmist dread#delete later
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i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!
mdni.
satoru gojo is doomed.
why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.
crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.
of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.
you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.
he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.
more.
that's right, you were more.
recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.
surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.
he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.
so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.
it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?
his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-
“satoru?”
his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.
“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.
what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-
“satoru!”
he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.
it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.
the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.
(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)
he should be neutered. effective immediately.
it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:
“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-
“...is that it?”
and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?
he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.
yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.
#ᯓᡣ𐭩 kiyara.#✎ᝰ.#i was bored once again.#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo imagine#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut
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The warm and fuzzy feeling of entering any establishment that serves coffee and seeing minimum one table of old greek men at their coffee group
#go to a walmart mcdonalds at the right time of day and they'll be there too#just. old people having vast groups of friends#seeing other greek people#seeing them talk with their hands and hearing them speak a language i don't actually know and yet still understand#greek school failed me and i really want to try to learn greek again at some point#and yet it feels like home hearing people speak it#side note but i'll never forget going to greece with my pappou and seeing get to talk to all his relatives#and of course they're all speaking greek#and he thought i was miserable the whole trip since i don't know what people are saying#when in reality i'd never been happier. because he looked happy. and they all seemed happy to have him there#and i couldn't understand their words and yet i felt like i was part of it anyway#you could tell when there were jokes. you could tell when they were reminiscing. you could tell when something more serious was going on#i just. oough#anyway went to a really small eggsmart and it seemed to be run by these greek people#and you could tell the majority of customers were regulars. some greek some not#i know the awesome waitress was talking to her friend about when things were happening this coming week (cause i know the days of the week)#homely as hell
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sometimes its insane to think that your abusers will live on to think they were the victim. my life will never be the same and i have to rebuild bit by bit because of how theyve ruined me through and through and yet they get to keep nearly everything and to claim that their happiness is whats important because their victims were a little mean to them sometimes. how is that fair. how is that just.
#its worse when youre not the only victim#because then you know its not just you. what the hell did my friends ever do to them to deserve the treatment they got#the shit theyre going through because of it#while the one who hurt us can go on about how much they love their new friends how happier they are now#how theyre better now#and then the people around them even when you tell them everything they stick their feet in the ground#because everyone deserves a second chance right?#why didnt we get one then. why didnt we get any chances when we didnt actually do anything#why were we avoided and isolated and ruined#for being a human being with emotions#but they get all the support they need and all the chances they need and all the hope they need#when they were horrible#i know people can change. but it hasnt even been a month. and it still feels so unfair#and they think *they* were hurt. fucking unbelievable#lamb.txt#sun digs its heels to taunt you
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