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[kurishiri]

12 ┊ Jude’s main story

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— a legendary, iconic chapter in jude’s main story. trust me, you don’t need to know a lick of what happens before or after to understand this chapter. (yes, it's a filler chapter. iykyk.)

— cw: some angst. but it's mostly fluff! some silly crown antics, heh.

—— Library ——

Victor: Have you fallen for Jude?

Kate: Wha— ah…um…

Victor: Ahaha, I find it quite endearing how you’re like an open book in your expressions and actions.

V: Well then, mind if I ask what’s gotten you so motivated to study?

(I guess I really can’t evade someone as sharp as Victor, can I,)

(when I tell him I want to borrow books related to international trade and economics so suddenly.)

I gave up on the notion of hiding it, instead looking directly up at Victor.

Kate: In some cases, knowledge can become a weapon. An art of protection, if you will.

K: So first and foremost, it’s for myself. But also, I was thinking how I wanted to become someone Jude can rely on,

K: and someone he can lean on, whether he is going through happy times or sad. And him liking me would just be an added bonus and all…

That was the answer to the strange way my heart [1] had been acting these past few days.

Kate: That said, I do feel he’d brush me off, saying it’s an unnecessary burden.

Victor: But in some cases, that ‘unnecessary burden’ may be what binds a person to life too, is what I think.

V: For it’s neither knives nor poison that kills a person — it’s solitude.

Albeit just for a moment, I felt those jewel-like eyes cloud over…

Kate: …Victor, have you ever felt loneliness before?

Victor: Hardly. I’ve long forgotten such feelings.

Saying so, Victor flashed me a bright smile, as though to coax me at ease.

—— Neutral POV ——

—— Dining room ——

Jude: Ha, what’s with this.

Jude had just returned from work, and seeing a sleeping Kate there bent over the table in the dining room, his face scrunched up, when…

Victor: If it isn’t Jude, welcome back. I just brought in a blanket for Kate.

V: She had been studying the entire time, you see, and it seems she’s a bit worn out now——

V: Whoopsie, I fear anything past that’s a secret between Kate and me.

Jude: N’ that’s fine by me. Just take care o’ the costs by the end o’ month.

Victor: Gladly. Then I leave this in your hands.

Jude: The hell?

Victor pushed the blanket at Jude with a smile before leaving,

and Jude looked down at Kate, soundly in the world of dreams…

Jude: …Tch.

Putting the blanket over Kate in a nonchalant gesture, he tried to leave when something caught onto the hem of his clothes then.

Jude: …What are ya, a tot?

He looked on at Kate, who held onto the hem of Jude’s clothes as she slept, a fed-up smile in his eyes.

Then, he saw the mountain of books scattered across the table.

Jude: ………

Kate had been burying her nose in studies… for his own sake.

Jude let out a sigh, and then took a seat next to Kate, whose hands were still grasping the hem of his clothes.

Jude: ………Ya really are a hopeless case, aren’t’cha.

—— Kate’s POV ——

I had started learning about things I hadn’t known before on topics such as international trade and economics.

That said, sometimes the contents written in the books were difficult——

—— Basement laboratory ——

Roger: Since the Navigation Acts [2] were abolished, ships from other countries were permitted entry,

R: and from there, the competition of which ship could arrive at London the quickest became more cutthroat.

Kate: So that’s how tea races came to be, right?

Alfons: How deeply profound it would be, were we to think the tea on this table originated from the victors of those very races, indeed.

Roger was equipped with an abundance of knowledge, so I went to him for help, but…

At some point, that evolved to everyone in the back, enjoying tea.

Alfons: This graceful, mellow fragrance is quite a far cry from the constant smell of gunpowder and blood.

A: I daresay, have we not been wallowing too much in the front of life as of late?

Liam: Ah, I’ve been thinking about that too. We haven’t done a single thing for the season, so it’s a little lonely, maybe.

Roger: Hey guys. Mind quitting with the chit chat?

Just as Roger said this, seemingly annoyed, the door to the research laboratory opened with so much vigor, it could have broken down.

Victor: Did I just hear that my dear boys are not enjoying life? Now what a grave situation we have on our hands!

Roger: Hey, you, don’t just come in outta the blue like that.

Victor: But never to fear, as Victor presents! A very out-of-season fireworks party is in the works, yippee!

V: I consulted with William beforehand about using his private beach already. Goodness me, how capable I must be!

(Fireworks, huh...)

It was indeed a bit out of season, to be sure, but everyone was bored enough to agree to the proposition.

Victor: And so, with that, I have a small favor to ask of you, Kate.

(A favor? What is it, I wonder?)

—— Jude’s office ——

It turned out said ‘favor’ was——

Jude: If ya lot wanna go that bad then just go off on your own.

Kate: But I won’t like it if you’re not coming with!

It was to drag Jude to the fireworks party.

Or, more accurately, it was to ‘drag both Jude and Ellis,’

but Ellis, seeming delighted, affirmed immediately that he would go, which would just leave dragging Jude along.

Ellis: I also won’t like it if you’re not coming.

Jude: How many times are ya gonna say that. It’s hella annoyin’.

(I thought he would say that, so now that it’s come to this——)

Kate: Jude.

Jude: What.

Kate: Lulipia [3] has proposed giving their new product exclusively to Raven Co.

K: But, the condition was that Ellis and I took charge of it.

I had recently learned about the art of negotiation in a book, and when I utilized that, Jude raised a brow in irritation.

Jude: Ha, lookatcha, tryna negotiate with me. Ya got some guts, huh.

J: Fine then.

Kate: Wait— really...?

Jude: When it comes to costs n’ expenses, I got somethin’ to gain outta this. End o’ discussion.

Kate: Then... w-we did it!!

Ellis: You did well, Kate.

(Sure, it was a bit of a low play, but that doesn’t change the fact Jude is coming along!)

—— Beach (night) ——

The fireworks launched to the sky lit up the shore.

Kate: Wow...!

Elbert: ...It’s pretty, isn’t it.

It was a bit out of season, but that seemed to become irrelevant with how beautiful the fireworks burst in the night sky.

Victor: Bravooo! The fireworks may fade in an instant, but the memories will stay for an eternity more in my heart.

Cheering as fireworks were launched one after another, we also had colorful fireworks at the shore.

Liam: Kaaate! Over here, over here!

Harrison: Here, this is yours.

Kate: Thanks!

I tried lighting the stick for a firework, when Alfons thought of something, a complacent smile on his face.

Alfons: Ahha, I’ve just thought of something good.

A: The one whose firework lasts the longest will be able to give a single order to the rest of us. Does that sound appealing?

Roger: Oh, sounds interesting.

Kate: But I feel like there’s something fishy too...

Ellis: Come to think of it, Al was looking really carefully at the fireworks just now.

Kate: Wha— don’t tell me you already tampered with the fireworks, Alfons!

Alfons: ...Just what are you going on about?

William: Haha, it seems our little robin has gotten a solid grasp on all the Crown members.

In the end, with Alfons’ schemes ousted, there was no such match, and we lit up the fireworks in order.

(Hm? What about Jude...)

I saw him a little ways away, and I brought Jude’s firework, running to him.

[1] Give him a launcher firework.

[2] Give him a handheld firework. (+4 / +4)

[3] Give him a firecracker.

Kate: Here, Jude, your firework.

I held out the handheld firework I had lit out to him, when...

Jude: .........

Jude took it wordlessly, pointing the crackling flower my way.

Kate: Hey, wai— don’t go pointing that at people with that nonchalant look!

Harrison: Damn... what a brute, that guy.

Roger: But looks like Jude’s having his own fun too.

Everyone’s faces were illuminated by the beautiful fireworks, like an illusion.

And, all of a sudden, the depths of my heart squeezed.

(At some point, I had become a part of their circle.)

To think I had once feared the ones in this very circle, too.

Jude: What’s with ya, grinnin’ ear to ear like that.

Kate: Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about how much fun I’m having...

Jude: What a happy-go-lucky princess ya must be——

As though to interrupt Jude’s words, exceptionally large fireworks were launched to the sky.

The sight of the large flowers that blossomed in the night sky took everyone’s breaths away.

William: It was Victor’s idea.

Victor: A biiig surprise!

Harrison: You guys really don’t hold back, do you. ...Well, it’s pretty, I’ll give it that.

Kate: It really is.

Seeing everyone’s smiles, lit up by the fireworks, my chest started to feel unbearably hot...

Liam: I’ll definitely make this next play a success!!

Liam suddenly shouted.

Roger: Haha, are we declaring our resolutions now? I like that.

R: I will gather data from Cursed ones all around the world!!

Kate: Oh, then me too—

(So that I can stand together with Jude at the same place, and see the same world as him...)

(And so that I can become a person Jude can rely on...)

Kate: I will grow more and more!!

Jude: What’s with that dim resolution?

Ellis: I will grow more and more tall!

Jude: Bloody hell, don’t go growin’ even more.

Kate: Are you not going to shout out your resolution, Jude?

Jude: What are ya, a birdbrain?

With those words, Jude stared up at the fireworks that rose up to the Prussian blue sky before fading away.

And as for me... I discreetly looked at his profile as he did so.

(...Jude’s face looks very colorful.)

It was almost like he himself was a firework.

Fierce and intense, dangerous if I went too close... and yet also, for an unfathomable reason, unable to keep myself from looking away.

But, at the same time, perhaps because I had been looking at him this entire time, I felt a certain sense of unease from within me.

(Just like there is no firework that can light up for eternity, there are times I feel like Jude will up and disappear...)

It was like his very profile would fade out just like that, saying not a word to anyone and leaving not a memento behind...

And, so that he wouldn’t go off anywhere else, I gripped the hem of his clothes.

Kate: Jude, I want ice cream.

Jude: What?

Ellis: Me too.

Alfons: And me three. Well then, someone can be our dear dogsbody——to go and buy some.

Jude: Can’t help it then, I’ll go n’ buy ‘em.

Alfons: Dear me, I do insist, let me be the one.

William: Then I will go.

(Wait, what? Huh? The way this is going... does this mean I have to say it too!?)

Kate: Ah, then I’ll go and buy them!

Jude: Then off ya go.

(Wait, what?)

Seeing the grin play on the corner of his lips, I realized then that I had been completely wheedled.

Kate: ——That was in such bad taste...!

Jude: Hah—

J: Ya really are easy to trick, aren’t’cha, princess.

Kate: ...!

Seeing Jude’s smile, my heart throbbed — to the point it hurt, and to the point it became unbearable — and it wouldn’t stop.

(I probably am not much of anything in Jude’s eyes...)

(But, if I can at least become an occasional source of Jude’s smiles, then that would be fine with me too.)

Beneath the sky where beads of light shimmered and swirled, I made a wish... that this fun time would last, even if it was for a moment longer.

But, alas, such times did not last long.

ko-fi ☕️ ┊ comms 🤍

NOTES:

[1] In Japanese, there are two words for heart: [心] (kokoro) and [心臓] (shinzō), the former referring to a more ‘conceptual’ or intangible version of the heart that  sort of drives emotions or empathy (the pathos, if you will); and the latter being the physical organ. Here, Kate uses [心臓] (shinzō).

[2] The Navigation Acts (1651, 1660) were acts of Parliament, based on earlier precedents, intended to promote the self-sufficiency of the British Empire by restricting colonial trade to England and decreasing dependence on foreign imported goods. The laws also regulated England's fisheries and restricted foreign, including Scottish and Irish, participation in its colonial trade.

[3] To clarify, Lulipia, which could be translated into a different spelling — the original Japanese word they used was [ルリピア] (ruripia), is a company, not a person.

[flowercrowngods]

@steddie-week

part 1 (bc this is one big 7 part story)

day 02: bittersweet & angst

1 new message

eddie The Problem munson: engagement party on saturday babyyyy 🥳🥸🕺

Steve’s been staring at the message for two days now. It's sitting in his notifications, staring at him like a painful reminder of what happened exactly seven days ago. A week. It's only been a week, and Steve somehow it feels like it was both only one day or seven months ago.

It's an almost liminal experience, walking through life without texting Eddie every second of the day – because texting him would mean opening his message. It would make this real.

And that's the last thing Steve wants.

"I'm not going," Robin declares as they're cuddling on the couch, wallowing in their misery as Mayday Parade's Oh Well, Oh Well is playing for the eighth time on repeat. "Tell me you're not going, Stevie."

"Robbie," he sighs, squeezing her tighter as she tries to wriggle out of his arms to glare at him.

"Steve."

"I can't not go."

"Yes you can." She pokes him in the ribs, but he doesn't budge. She pokes him again. "Not going to things is literally the easiest thing in the world. It's a hundred times easier than going to things. You should try it sometime, trust me. You go to too many things, and–"

"Bee," he hums to get her out of the rambling spiral before she can get lost in it.

"What I'm saying," he interrupts herself dramatically, "is that you can't do this to yourself. They're engaged. They're getting married. We're going to keep our distance until our brains and hearts and the traitorous little chemicals in our bodies catch up to reality, and then we get over them, and then we can go back and see them ever again. That's the logical thing to do, Steve. But you can't... You can't just go and get your heart broken and talk yourself into thinking it's the right thing to do. It's not."

Steve sighs into her hair and buries his face in her neck. He knows that. Technically, logically, he does.

But not going feels wrong. Wronger than anything else that's been hollowing out his chest and leaving nothing but emptiness and the ghosts of every smile, every touch, every baby, love, sweetheart, sunshine. Every imaginary future, every scenario where Eddie meant it. Meant those words, meant those smiles, meant it when he took Steve's hand to hold it.

But Eddie did mean it. Every time, he meant it; because he calls Argyle and Jeff and Gareth baby and sunshine and sweetheart, too. He takes their hands, too, leans in to kiss their cheeks and just holds them when he needs to. That's just the kind of person Eddie is. Always has been.

To go and assume he never meant it would be unfair.

To go and hope it could ever mean more when Chrissy has always been right there would just be stupid.

Well, good thing Steve has that kind of reputation with a few people anyway, so it's not even a statistical outlier, that one. It's not even worth a side note.

"I know," he rasps, his eyes beginning to sting as the next lyrics are carved into the empty space of where his heart used to be.

Oh well, oh well I can't live with myself As I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed.

And I'll be what you need, You can call me anything. Just as long as we're still friends.

Tears prickle in his eyes and he doesn't bother to hold them back. Not now, not with Robin. They've both been crying on and off all week, even though Robin took it better than him.

"I know," he sobs, wrapping his arms around her even tighter as she lets herself be held because she knows that's what he needs. "I know, I know, I know. But I have to. I can't just... I can't just stop, Bee."

"I know," she sighs, climbing out of his hold eventually to wrap her arms around him in return as he cries into her shoulder.

The world (read: his Spotify playlist) makes it worse by playing Sum 41's With Me next, ripping out even the newly carved words.

Robin holds him for the rest of the night, even as he finally opens Eddie's message and types out a reply.

—I'll come!

And especially when there's a new message immediately.

—hot 🥵❤️

He leaves Eddie on read after that.

~*~

Saturday rolls around in a haze, and suddenly Steve finds himself looking at the front door of the little house Chrissy inherited after her mother passed a few years ago. It's a nice little house. Quaint. Perfect. Everything Steve could ever dream of, actually. And she deserves it. All of this and more.

There's noise coming from the garden, where people are laughing and having a great time. A happy time, celebrating their friends and all the good things in life that come with a love well placed.

God, what is he doing here? He can't do this. There is no way.

He's just about to pull out his phone and call Robin, tell her he's coming home, or ask her to tell him everything's gonna be alright, when–

"Steve!" Chrissy hurries towards him, throwing her arms around him in a tight, warm, perfect hug. God, he loves her so much. He melts right into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her middle to spin her around with a grin.

She giggles in delight and tells him to let her down again, which only makes him spin for another round, his grin turning into a genuine laugh.

"No, I hate you!" she laughs, but still doesn't step away from him when he puts her down again. Instead, she leans up and brushes a kiss to his cheek. "Hi, asshole."

"Hi."

He grins and takes her hands in his, just smiling at her for another moment before his eyes trail down to a ring he's never seen her wear before. Ah. Right.

"Oh shit! That it?"

"That's it," Chrissy says, looking down at her hand to look at the ring with a fond, happy little smile, her cheeks flushing red. It breaks Steve a little, but it also fixes something inside him to see her so truly, genuinely happy. "Pretty huh?"

"Very," Steve breathes, hiding the lump in his throat with a sound of awe.

Chrissy hugs him again for good measure and then takes his hand to drag him into the backyard the same way she just came out front, through a little gate off to the side instead of through the house.

Steve loves their backyard because it's always covered in sheerly endless colourful strings of light that are wrapped around decorative arches or poles, framing the back doors and the canopy swing set on the lawn, and just give it the most homey and comfortable atmosphere.

"Stevie!" Eddie exclaims immediately and jumps off from his chair, interrupting a conversation he's apparently been having with Argyle and Nancy to run up to him with such a giddy expression that Steve wants to cry. His heart leaps in his chest, coming back to life and saying one last goodbye at the same time.

"Hi," he says, hugging Eddie close before he can so much as think about what he's doing. But no matter how hurt he is, there will never be a world in which he won't want to hug Eddie Munson. "Sorry I'm late."

"No sorries, it's fine," Eddie murmurs into his neck, staying in the embrace endlessly, and Steve takes the chance to breathe him in. He smells so good. So, so good. It clogs his lungs and renders him unable to speak.

But who needs to speak when they have Eddie in their arms? Who needs to speak when all they have to do is never let go?

Eddie squeezes him a little tighter, and Steve wants to cry. He slowly, gently pushes away from the hug and turns towards the other guests, greeting them with a grin, a hug, or a handshake if they're not familiar.

When he gets to Wayne, the man eyes him with a look that Steve doesn't want to read too much, and his embrace is just a little longer, just a little stronger than usual.

“You look tired, son,” he says by way of greeting, and Steve can’t help but snort and shake his head a little.

“Good to see you again, too, old man.”

Wayne eyes him for one moment longer, then breaks into a small smile and pats Steve’s shoulder before stepping around him to go grab another drink.

After that, the night passes in a blur of talking to his friends, trying to understand what the hell it is that has Nancy and Argyle arguing so profusely, but with smiles on their faces. He fails. But it’s good to see them again, so he just basks in it for a while.

Or, he tries, because every second that he’s not talking or listening to someone, his eyes flick back to Eddie. Eddie, who’s lifting Chrissy from behind and smacking a loud, wet kiss to her neck, her jaw and her cheek, accompanied by her delighted squeals and laughter.

Eddie, who’s looking larger than life, a happy grin permanently plastered on his face as he reminds their guests that Chrissy was his bisexual awakening.

“I swear, she just swept me off my feet after years of thinking I was only into dudes. Knew I had to marry her, but man, I don’t know why she said yes.”

“I’m settling, honey,” Chrissy calls from the other end of the table they’re sitting around. “Only in it for that rockstar money and all.”

The whole table laughs at that.

“Hear, hear,” Eddie snorts, lifting his glass in a toast. Steve and the others lift theirs, too, even though Steve’s hand and arm and whole body feels numb and he’s not entirely sure he’s breathing.

A while later, he grabs a drink and retreats to the canopy swing, illuminated in the soft pink flow of the fairy lights wrapped around it. Eddie’s eyes land on him for a second and Steve thinks that he’ll come over and join him — but then one of Chrissy’s friends says something that distracts him and seemingly makes him fall into a monologue of sorts.

Steve watches, feeling only loss and longing as he does. Eddie is a force of nature. A spectacle. Something beautiful, something powerful, something secret that only a select few get to witness. To know. To appreciate.

Staring as he is, blind to the rest of the world, he startles a little when the swing jostles with another weight settling on it. He didn’t see Wayne coming to join him, and he’s not quite sure whether he should be grateful for the company or apprehensive of what the man who’s like a father to him might have to say.

“How are you doing, son?”

He frowns. “I’m alright.”

Wayne only hums, and Steve’s frown deepens. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him Wayne knows something. That he knows.

“Y’know,” he continues after a while, not looking at Steve but rather at his nephew and his fiancée. “I always figured it would be you.”

Steve crumbles. Yeah, me too, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. Watching the way Chrissy sits on Eddie’s lap with his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder as he tells her something that makes her laugh that cute, pretty, adorable laugh that Eddie then can’t help but join — that’s just something Steve would never compare to. Nothing he’d ever want to come in between.

Eddie and Chrissy are perfect. They’re happy. They fit, they match, they work. They worked so hard and treat each other so right.

They look giddy and serene at the same time, and it makes Steve’s eyes sting. Because he can never make Eddie look like that. He can never make Eddie look at him like that.

I always figured it would be you.

But he couldn’t. That bubbly kind of love, the sunshine kind of love. He knows that’s not for him. Steve’s too much for that. He would never be enough for Eddie — even if without Eddie, there’s nothing left of him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Wayne continues, unaware of Steve’s thought spiral. “I love that girl, I do. Always will. I think she’s too good for Eddie. Don’t tell him I said that,” he adds hastily, and Steve smiles through the tears that threaten to fall again.

“They’re perfect,” he rasps, laughing wetly as Chrissy starts chasing Eddie, who’s hiding behind a very distressed Argyle, who just wants his brochachos to chill!

Maybe it’s a laugh, maybe it’s a sob. He doesn’t have it in him to find out or care.

“They are. Doesn’t mean they’re right, son.”

Steve sighs and tears his eyes away from Eddie. “Wayne.”

“I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “Shutting up.” After a long pause of holding Steve’s eyes, he asks, “Will you be okay?”

No, he thinks immediately, the lump in his throat too big to say anything. So he just shrugs and swallows. “Sure.”

Maybe. Hardly. Probably not. Definitely not.

"No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me. You’ll always have a home with an open door with me, you hear me?"

"I’m not going anywhere, wayne," Steve says, though for the first time ever he doesn't really believe that. Maybe he needs to leave. To leave Eddie behind. Get over him. Cut out his heart and leave it here, run away to heal somewhere else, come back as a new person, or just stay away forever.

The thought makes a tear spill as an empty kind of desperation spreads it’s ugly wings inside his chest, and he's too frozen to wipe it away.

"You hear me?" Wayne repeats, gentler this time, but no less urgent for it.

"Yeah," steve rasps. "Thanks."

Another tear falls as Eddie gently pulls Chrissy closer to him and kisses her in the soft glow of the fairy lights above and around them. Their friends cheer. Steve wants to cry his heart out again.

“I—“ he swallows, wiping at his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can’t do this, he wants to say. For the first time, that’s what he wants to say. “I think I’m gonna head home soon.”

“You bring your car?”

He shakes his head, feeling foggy and dazed and empty and endlessly, endlessly sad. “Was gonna, uh—“

“Let me drive you.” There’s no room for debate or argument there, and Steve wants to crumble again, but still he shakes his head.

“Wayne, no—“

“I’m taking you, son. Make sure you get home safe, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Don’t wanna keep your old man up all night, do ya?”

Steve concedes with a fond eye roll and a grateful smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

They sit like that for another ten minutes — and if Steve leans into Wayne’s side a little, then that’s nobody’s business but theirs.

The car ride is quiet, but it feels weighted even as Wayne pretends not to see the way Steve keeps wiping at his cheeks as the silent tears keep falling, leaving him powerless to stop them.

I can’t do this, he keeps thinking over and over again.

“Just a little warning,” Wayne speaks up again as he pulls up to Steve’s building. “I think he’s going to ask you to be his best man, Stevie. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”

I can’t do this.

He nods, numb again.

“I’ll do anything for him,” he breathes.

“That’s what I’m afraid of, yeah.”

He gets out of the car before he can find out what exactly Wayne means by that. The car stays where it is until the front door closes behind him, until he’s up in his bedroom and finds Robin already asleep.

Ten minutes later, he cuddles close to her and tries hard not to cry, but tonight’s memories have burned themselves into his mind. And he shouldn’t have gone. He knows. He knows.

I’ll do anything. I can’t do this. I’ll do anything. I can’t do this.

He can’t breathe, and Robin holds him through it, whispering sleepily to him as he cries himself to sleep, wishing for a world where he’s not absolutely and utterly in love with Eddie Munson, but failing to imagine one.

I’ll do anything. Anything but this.

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen come back tomorrow for idk which prompt | read part 3 here

[loversmore]

FOURTH NATTAWAT as GUN – MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (2023) for @hyunsung ♡

[fyodior]

half if not more of the bsd x reader tag is just those multicharacter multifandom posts that give the vaguest blurb of all time and list like 40 insanely unrelated characters underneath. i’m abt to get violent where’s my baseball bat

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I headcanon that at first Ray is adamantly against the use of nicknames and pet names for himself because he thinks it's silly.

"My name is Ray. It's literally three letters and one syllable long. Just call me Ray."

But Emma can't let that stand. She has "sunshine" and "Em," Norman has "Nor," "Norm," and "Boss."

So her proposed solution is for Ray to change his name so that "Ray" can be a nickname and show of affection. Ray balks at the suggestions she litters throughout their conversations, addressing him as Raymond, Rayner, even Raybert at one point.

Norman is more deft in his timing so the first time he drops a "Raymond" during one of their chess matches he ends up on the receiving end of Ray channeling Isabella with this look

He does eventually come around to them calling him Sunray.

[kyunyu3]

[yandere-romanticaa]

Do you have pet peeves about men?

I hate how many men I've met that claim that they want a nice, kind and "innocent" girl that hasn't messed around with anyone else, only for them to get pissed off because that same girl won't sleep with them.

Why should those standards be lowered?? They get so pressed when they realize they ain't shit.

[flowercrowngods]

hello i’m attempting something for steddie week too, but it'll be one large thing probably @steddie-week

day 01: pining

2 new messages

eddie The Problem munson: —steeb —esteban —stefano  —stevie —love of my life apple of my eye pls pls tell me i can call you  —i am very chill etc etc —no i’m not  —let me call youuuu  —😠🥺🙏

Steve snorts as he picks up his phone and reads Eddie’s messages that keep coming in his usual spam of consciousness, a giddy feeling spreading in his chest as he snorts and goes to answer. 

— Call me then, coward 

Not a second later, his phone rings. Steve picks up immediately, even though he considers making Eddie wait; just to be difficult. Just to calm his racing heart that is always so lively around Eddie. 

“What,” he says, attempting to sound bored and annoyed — in vain, because even he can hear the smile on his face. Traitor, he thinks to himself. 

“Steve,” Eddie sing-songs, drawing out Steve’s name like he does every time he’s happy. “Steve, Steve, Stevie.” 

“Ed, Ed, Eddie,” he sings back, relaxing into his couch and shutting the laptop. Lesson planning can wait, he decides, shuffling all the loose pages into the text book and placing his laptop on the pile, trusting that physics won’t betray him. “What’s got you so happy, hm?” 

“Why do you think I’m happy?” Damn idiot has a smile on his face as he asks that, Steve can hear it. It makes his own grin widen and he huffs into the phone. 

“I literally know you, babe.” 

Babe. His heart flutters every time he says it — and he tries not to, because it’s meaningless, it’ll never happen. But Eddie picks it back up every time, and Steve is weak. God, he is so, so weak. 

On the other end, Eddie hums and Steve basks in the sound for a moment. It’s always so contagious, Eddie’s happiness, and he wants to soak it all up. Wants to be the reason for it. Wants, wants, wants. 

“You do,” Eddie says, his voice so light and fond it makes Steve’s whole body tingle. And his heart flutter. And it fills him with such happiness that he feels like he could take on the entire world right now, just with the way Eddie’s voice went all soft on him. 

God, he’s hopeless. So, so hopeless. But he’s also weak. An addict, leeching off Eddie’s attention, getting a kick out of the smallest dose, and absolutely certain he couldn’t survive if it were taken from him. He needs it. Even if it kills him a little bit, because— 

“She said yes.” 

Steve blinks. “Huh?” 

“Chrissy. She said— She said yes, Stevie. We’re getting married.” 

He says it and he sounds so happy. So, so happy. And Steve is the world’s worst best friend for the way he freezes, the way he almost drops his phone if it weren’t for the vice grip he has on it, frozen in time and space because his heart has stopped beating. It has stopped, surely, because no beating heart can hurt this much. No beating heart can crack open and still work the way it used to three, five, seven seconds ago. 

Eddie, bless his entire soul, laughs to fill the silence, and it’s the happiest sound. A boyish one, like there is no pain in the world and not a worry on his mind. A bit hysterical, too. Like he can’t believe it himself yet. Like this is the best day of his life and saying it again has reminded him of it. At least that’s what Steve imagines it feels like when someone wants to be married to you. He wouldn’t know, of course, as the only person he would ever ask is already engaged to someone else. Apparently. 

Eddie is engaged. 

Engaged and laughing and so, so happy. 

And Steve feels nauseous. Dizzy. Breathless. His eyes begin to sting and the hand that’s holding his phone begins to tremble, his grip so tight it hurts. 

Steve feels… too much. His hands tremble and he tries hard not to cry. 

“You’re getting married.” 

“We’re getting married.” 

They’re getting married. 

Fuck. 

Someone has to tell Robin. Because in true Platonic Soulmate manner, Steve and Robin fell in love with the two people who are in love with each other. Like the chaotic mess they are. 

“Sorry I didn’t tell you about it sooner,” Eddie continues, a bit more sober now. Sounding genuine and sufficiently awkward about it, in true Eddie-manner. Like the big old softie he secretly is. “I would have, but…” 

But I know you’re in love with me and didn’t want to burden you with the love I carry for someone who isn’t you, Steve’s brain auto-fills helpfully. But you keep flirting with me and there was never room for someone else when I was with you. 

But, but, but— 

He swallows and drags in a deep breath past the pain in his throat where all the words he can never say are forming a massive lump. 

“Hey man, don’t worry about that, we all know I suck at keeping secrets,” he offers. And it’s a lie, because he has kept this one thing secret for years and years. This one thing, this huge and all-encompassing thing that he can feel in the tips of his fingers when he is texting Eddie, and on his tongue when they are talking, and in his heart even when he is sleeping. 

This one thing, this one secret, is his never-ending love for Eddie. 

And he will add another one to that, a lovely little friend for it. To keep it company. That other secret, of course, will be the way his heart has shattered into a million little pieces and will remain that way until he can’t even look at Eddie anymore. And even then will he look at Eddie and smile at him, and Eddie will smile back and the pain will flare up again.

Again and again and again, for the rest of their lives. Possibly even beyond that. 

“You do suck at that,” Eddie chuckles, though it is quieter this time, almost private. Fond. Gentle. Always, always like that. It used to mean something once. And if Steve closes his eyes, he can imagine that Eddie smiles his secret smile, the one Steve has only seen directed at himself. It almost breaks him. 

Eddie’s I have known you for a whole eternity and love you beyond words, silly, but you also make my life so much harder-smile. That’s what he has dubbed it because that is what Eddie had said the first time he smiled like that when Steve was drunk off his ass. 

But. But, but, but— 

It’s no use to think of that now, to reminisce and imagine what might have been if… Well. If Steve weren’t Steve. 

And that sure is a dark path he doesn’t want to trudge now, not in the face of the even darker path of Eddie getting married that he sure as hell will have to walk down for the rest of his life. 

He sighs and tries to think of something to say. Something good. Something that is not Please don’t marry Chrissy. Please don’t take yourself away from me. Please. Please don’t get married to anyone who isn’t me. Please open your eyes and see me, please listen to me, please understand what I say when I say I love you. Please.  

He kind of spaces out for the rest of the conversation, not really listening to Eddie’s words over the ringing in his ears and the pumping beat of his shattered heart. 

Eddie speaks softly to him, the undercurrent of happiness and contentment still in his voice, and it would give Steve life, it would be contagious, it would be so very precious if it didn’t also drive the knife of pain ever deeper into Steve’s entire soul, slicing him apart with no one around to put him back together again.  

Splitting him in half. One half that just wants Eddie to be happy, to sound like he does right now for ever and ever. And the other half, loathing that Eddie’s happiness is not inspired by him, not because of him, not in any sort of relation to him. 

It’s not fair. And Steve is torn. So he shuts himself off and lets Eddie ramble, tells him that he is tired after pulling an all-nighter again and wrangling the his difficult seventh graders that were particularly hard on him today when the other man asks him if he is all right. 

“Steve,” Eddie sighs, and a traitorous tear rolls down Steve’s cheek at the caring exasperation he hears there. “How often do I need to tell you that sleep is important? You’re gonna wear yourself out at this rate. And the kids just suck.”  

“I know,” he says, and sniffs, willing the tears to not fall. Not until Eddie has hung up on him. 

“Aww. That emotional, huh?” 

At that, Steve sobs out a laugh and gladly accepts the way out. “Well, excuse me, my bestest friend whom I love very much is getting married soon! Or, well, I hope it’s soon, nobody has time for all that suspense. Anyway, I am allowed to be emotional about this!” 

Eddie chuckles again and sighs gently. “Yes, you are. I’m glad you are. Thank you, Stevie.” 

Don’t thank me. Not for this. Not over this, please, don’t thank me. 

“Don’t thank me,” he says with a grin, and it hurts his cheeks from how forced it is. “Thank yourself for being brave enough to actually go through with the proposal! We both know you’re chicken shit.” 

Just like me, he thinks. Just like me. 

They laugh and it sounds hollow to Steve’s ears. He just wants the phone call to end, wants this to be over with. Wants them to not get married. Never, ever, in this life or the next. 

He wants… he wants Robin. No, he needs his best friend, his soulmate. He can’t cry alone, not about this. 

Eventually, Eddie hangs up, that smile still so audibly his lips, and that painful happiness still very clear in his voice. Steve wants to share it. But he can’t.

All he can do is stare at the phone in his trembling hand before he closes his eyes and lets himself cry, his head falling back against the couch until he slumps over to one side. He stares and he cries until he can’t anymore. 

Eddie. The love of his life. Is getting married. To Chrissy, the other, platonic love of his life, who is like a sister to him. Who, coincidentally, is the love of his real platonic soulmate’s life.

Fucking hell, the mess they find themselves in!

After a while of pitifully staring at the wall, all cried out and feeling thoroughly pathetic, he lifts his phone and speed-dials Robin. 

“Stevie?” 

He sniffs, and it must sound as awful as he feels, for her next words are, “I’ll be right there. Alcohol or ice cream?” 

“Both?” he whimpers after a moment, and Robin hums right back. 

“I’ve got you. I’ll be there in ten.” 

She hangs up before he can say anything more, and he is overcome with all the love he holds for her. 

As he waits for her to come over, he does not move from the awkwardly half curled-up position on his couch, the lesson plans for tomorrow forgotten completely. This is his life now. His Eddie-less life. His engaged-Eddie life. His loveless, hopeless, endlessly pitiful life. 

come back tomorrow for: bittersweet & angst | read here

[sovlstr]

fuck my stupid baka life

this is just a random prompt for, hm, around chapter ~25 for them. The story mostly plans up to their death, but thats if i ever intend on finishing it. Bittersweet, you understand.

[cheriecoke]

i do not anticipate being on here much in november but just know i miss you all and i love you 🤍

[leviiackrman]

ASAMI ENATSU - Fantasy Anime AU

more art || character page || commissions

Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol

[teafiend]