#you thought I only wrote mike being dumb and gay?

[groovinrightalong]

Spreading my “Mike’s favorite songs are influenced by Will” agenda

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Social Media AU - Richie Tozier comes out during a show

I decided that this AU works better with a written headcanon to go with it, and so I’ve included it underneath the cut. It’s a little rough because it’s been a LONG time since I sat down and properly wrote something, but I tried!

Enjoy!

Holy shit.

He couldn’t believe he’d done that.

Jesus fucking Christ.

His manager was talking shit in his ear, prowling after him like fuck knows what, talking about “there’ll be backlash for this” and “not part of the plan”, and even “you’ve ruined your whole fucking career”. The usual stuff, really. Richie couldn’t bring himself to give a shit though, not right now. His heart was pounding ridiculously loud in his chest, blood rushing through him and making him feel dizzy – adrenaline mostly, but also some anxiety too.

Somehow he found himself in his backstage dressing room, manager still nagging him and furiously demanding answers. Pull it together, Tozier, pull it together.

“What in God’s name were you thinking?!” Brad hissed, slamming his hand down on the dressing table; the bottle of water next to the mirror topped slightly from the force of it. “This is a PR nightmare!”

“I don’t give a shit,” Richie said simply, giving a shrug. “What can I say, man? Gotta be true to myself.”

A vein seemed to throb in his manager’s forehead. “You just announced that you’re gay in front of hundreds of people, Richie, most of whom are within the demographic that are the least accepting of homosexuality! You think you’re the first gay person to be in this position? Because you’re fucking not, okay, there’s a reason PR is a thing! Your image is going to be ruined within just a few short hours of all of this!”

“So you want me to lie about it?” Richie snapped. “I’m done lying, okay? I’m done with the dumb girlfriend jokes, I’m done with the misogynistic shit that I’m having to recite, I’m fucking done! I shouldn’t be ashamed about this, it’s 2017 for fuck sake!”

“Alright, sure, it’s a more accepting time, but your fan base...in case it escaped your notice, you have a certain demographic, and it’s not ‘woke’ gay people. The people who came to your show tonight wanted to see the Richie Tozier they know and love, they wanted those jokes and that humor - not your life story and an impromptu coming out!”

“Well, tough shit to them - like I said, if I’m doing these shows, I’ll do it with my own jokes, not hiding who I am anymore.”

“Richie, it’s not that simple-”

There was a knock on the still-open door; a stagehand gawked at them, a little nervously, before clearing her throat. “Um… I’m sorry to interrupt, I… Well… These guests have VIP passes, and they wanted to see Rich- I mean, Mr Tozier right away.”

Behind her, Richie could see the rest of the Losers Club waiting awkwardly, clearly trying not to look at him or his manager. He cleared his throat and gave what he hoped was an at least somewhat polite nod. “Yeah, they’re friends of mine. Thank you. Brad,” He turned to his manager and gave him a meaningful look. “Some privacy please?”

Brad straightened his blazer but nodded too. “Of course. I have...things to try and fix. We’ll discuss this later, Richie.”

He waited until both the stagehand and his manager were out of earshot before gesturing for his friends to come into the dressing room; all of them looked nervous, clearly trying to pretend that they hadn’t overheard the argument, but he couldn’t bring himself to mind - he was just so glad to see them all right now.

“So…” He said, closing the door behind them and trying to look like he was holding it together. “What- What did you think?”

“You were great, Richie,” Bill said sincerely - and that seemed to make the others more comfortable too, judging by how they all started to smile and rush to embrace him.

“You did a wonderful job, Richie,” Beverly told him, giving him a squeeze and beaming at him. “You had us all laughing the entire show.”

Ben was grinning widely. “Far funnier than any of your old material, that’s for sure.”

“You were actually funny,” Stan said, though he was smiling fondly. “Never thought I’d say that, Trashmouth, but it’s true - if only you were that funny when we were kids.”

“Ha, fuck you too, Stan Urine,” Richie joked, but he was unable to stop himself from exhaling in relief. “I’m glad you all enjoyed the show - was kinda worried it wouldn’t get the same laughs as my old stuff.”

“Your old stuff was fake,” Mike brushed off, giving him a kind smile. “We could see it was really you up there, being yourself.”

Richie felt a little dazed by all the attention; he was briefly aware of Bill and Mike both patting him on the back, of Stan and Patty sharing a small laugh as they recounted something he’d said during the show, Audra congratulating him and saying how happy she was to finally meet all of her husband’s friends, Ben grinning widely, Beverly holding his arm and stating that she was so proud-

Eddie.

Fuck.

“Has anyone seen Eddie?” He blurted out, unable to stop himself. Everyone else fell into silence. “Oh shit. Fucking shit-”

“He just went out for some air,” Beverly said quickly, though she looked uncertain. “I think it’s just...a lot for him.”

“I gotta go find him,” Richie muttered, immediately heading for the door. “Fucking fuck...”

Ben’s arm stopped him before he could touch the handle. “Rich, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“No, I need to apologize to him, I need to explain-”

“Richie,” Bill said quietly. “You just said you’ve been in love with him since we were kids, in front of hundreds of people. Everyone will know by tomorrow, even if they weren’t at tonight’s show. It’s a lot for him to take in.”

Something anxious and vile reared up in Richie’s chest, making him feel like it was difficult to breathe. “I’ve fucked up. I’ve fucked this up, oh fuck...I’m a fucking idiot.”

“Richie-”

“It’s okay, Richie, don’t panic-”

“Shit, what’s he gonna think?! Fuck, I’ve ruined our whole friendship, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You haven’t fucked anything up, Richie.”

“Rich, please just breathe, okay?”

He was only somewhat aware of Beverly’s hand in his arm, gently pulling him over to the nearby chair and sitting him down. “Richie, honey, have some water and just focus on breathing, okay?”

Knowing he had no choice in the matter, he took a gulp from the water bottle she passed him, focusing on her voice and doing his best to push his fears away. Tonight was supposed to have been the opposite of this - he was supposed to be brave, to stand tall, to not be ashamed of who he was. Instead he was terrified, filled with regret and uncertainty.

A part of him was briefly aware of someone (Bill, he figured) saying they were going to find Eddie before stepping out of the room. A minute or so later, he noticed the others starting to filter out of his dressing room, muttering that they were going to give him some space to breathe and not overcrowd him - they’d wait for him outside. He could only hope that security had managed to get any fans waiting out back to go away - normally he didn’t mind signing autographs or saying hello to people, but after tonight’s show...no. He couldn’t.

You’ve really fucked this up, Tozier.

---

Beverly walked with him as they left, her presence welcome and calming; she didn’t speak, and he was grateful for that - he just knew that she understood, that she was on his side no matter what was to come. Then again, he was sure all the Losers would be there for him no matter what - they were like a family, he sometimes thought, a family of misfits and nobodies that found each other, found a group where they could be themselves.

Fuck, he loved his friends so much.

“You want me to drive?” Beverly asked finally when they reached the car park, looking around; the others were nearby, crowded together and talking amongst themselves. “Or do you have a limo these days, Mr Comedian?”

“Hilarious,” He said dryly. “No, but I have a driver sometimes. I can call him and tell him to head home for the night though.” 

They had nearly reached the others before Richie realized that all of his friends were there.

Eddie was there.

His throat closed up. No, no, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t-

“Eds,” Beverly said softly, giving him a kind smile.

Eddie gave a small nod, hands in his pockets and suddenly looking awkward. “Yeah… Erm… Hi, Richie.”

Everyone was silent. The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife as they all debated what to do, none of them clearly sure of what to say in this situation. Richie tried to meet Eddie’s eye, only to find the other man staring at the floor resolutely; anxiety and worry gnawed at Richie’s insides at the sight. 

Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime of awkwardness, Mike cleared his throat and looked around at everyone. “How about we go grab a drink?” He prompted. “You know, to celebrate.”

“Sounds like a good idea, Mikey,” Bill sighed with relief, quickly glancing at Richie and Eddie. 

“We’re all booked in the same hotel, right?” Beverly decided quickly, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “How about we go for a drink at the bar? That way none of us need to worry about driving or trying to find our way home.”

The others murmured in agreement, though it was clear that things were still awkward. As they started to make their way out of the car park, Stan and Bill navigating and leading the way, Richie noticed Beverly’s hand leave his arm; before he could question her, however, he found himself face-to-face with Eddie - immediately his throat felt dry, voice mysteriously gone for once in his life.

“Richie.” Eddie’s expression was hard to read; he didn’t seem angry but he didn’t seem happy or pleased either, just...carefully neutral. “Look, we need to… We need to talk.”

“Yeah,” Richie managed. “I guess so.”

Eddie hesitated for a second or two before turning to call to the others over his shoulder. “We’ll meet you guys there.”

None of the other Losers commented on this; instead, Bill merely nodded and gestured in the direction that they were heading. “Sure. Take your time.”

As soon as their friends were far away enough not to overhear, Eddie looked at Richie pointedly. “Is there somewhere private we can go or…?”

“Err… Dressing rooms might still be open?” 

“And we won’t be overheard?”

“No. I have a private dressing room, dude.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at this but gestured back towards the theatre. “Alright, fine. Lead the way, Trashmouth.”

Weirdly enough, the nickname made him feel more comfortable - it was almost like nothing had changed, like he didn’t just admit in front of hundreds of people that he was in love with this man, like he didn’t admit it in front of said man. For a moment, Richie allowed himself to think that everything would be fine; they’d talk it out, maybe be able to laugh it off, and it would be good. Not great, to be honest, but better than this hiding and lying.

---

Thankfully security had allowed him to go back to his dressing room, under the guise that he had “forgotten” something, and they didn’t ask about Eddie accompanying him - awkward questions would have made it much more humiliating for all parties involved, he thought. Richie wasted no time in opening the dressing room door to let Eddie in before closing and locking it for good measure, just to be sure that they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Here, urgh… You take the chair, I can sit on the table,” He offered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie brushed off, crossing his arms and suddenly avoiding his eye. “I’m kinda too nervous to sit.”

“Oh. Thank fuck, me too.”

He noticed Eddie’s lips quirk upwards, as if he was trying not to let himself smile - that was definitely a good sign. He waited for the other man to speak first, partly to be fair but also because, frankly, he had no idea what to say.

“So… Congrats on coming out?” Eddie finally offered - and then they both burst into laughter. “Fuck, that sounds so dumb.”

“Yeah, but it’s kinda cute,” Richie chuckled before he could stop himself - and then he froze up again. “I mean… I don’t mean…”

Eddie seemed to realize what he meant and his smile faded. “Right. That.”

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Richie said quickly. “I should have told you in private or something, not on a fucking stage in a stand-up routine. I mean, I was going to imply that I’m gay as fuck, that was planned, but I wasn’t going to just put it out there like that, it just happened. And shit, I wasn’t even intending on saying all that about you, but I saw you sitting in the front row and… Jesus, Eddie, I just saw you laughing and I-”

“Richie,” Eddie interrupted, and the other man fell silent. “Look, man, this is all… Okay. Alright.” He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before speaking again. “What you said during the show about me…about how you feel...you meant it.”

Richie swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I meant it.”

“Since we were kids?” Eddie continued, waiting for the other man to nod. “Okay… Richie, I swear to God, if this is some practical fucking joke or whatever - something for you to get laughs or make fun of me or whatever dumb shit goes through your head - then I will punch you in the face right fucking now.”

“What? No, no this isn’t a fucking joke!” Richie retorted, almost offended by this accusation. “You think I would say all that shit on-stage in front of hundreds of fucking people just for a joke?! Fuck off.”

“Okay, okay, I know, I’m sorry, I just… It’s a lot to take in,” Eddie muttered. When his friend didn’t say anything, he cast a look at him, seeming to study his face, before sighing. “Rich, I’m not about to turn around and start screaming slurs at you just because you had a crush on me.”

“I didn’t-”

“I can see it on your face, dumbass. Richie,” He leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re my friend - one of my best friends, actually. Nothing you say could make me hate you...well, not anymore than I do already.”

Richie gave a small, pained laugh, though the relief was evident on his face. “Right. Yeah. Thanks, Eds.”

For a long moment that seemed to stretch on for a lifetime, neither of them said anything else; Eddie’s hand remained on Richie’s shoulder, the taller man just looking at him gratefully. There was still a nagging feeling within him, something eating up at his insides and wondering if Eddie was just hiding any anger or disgust, maybe he just didn’t want to ruin a good night; they still hadn’t really addressed the whole “hey, I’m in love with my best friend Eddie” thing either, that could be awkward-

“Me too.”

Richie blinked. “What?”

Eddie’s hand fell away, and he merely just shrugged as he looked away from Richie. “Me too. I’m...I’m gay.”

“Oh. Oh. Eddie…”

“During the divorce proceedings with Myra, I...I started to think,” He continued, almost to himself. “Actually, it was before that, before I even left Derry. I would hate myself, you know, for every time I looked at a cute guy too long, every time I thought they were handsome in their best clothes or whatever. I’d push it away because I’d think it was not okay, that I was being disgusting or dirty or…”

Richie was stunned by this, suddenly at a loss for words. “Dirty? Come on, dude, you’re like the cleanest asshole I know - there’s not a microbe of dirt or whatever the fuck on you.”

“Hilarious. Really.” But Eddie wasn’t smiling. “Look, ever since the day we...we defeated IT, I’ve thought about it. I have. I thought about you helping me out before that fucking nightmare of a house collapsed, thought about you dragging my ass to hospital and demanding I get immediate attention, about how brave you were that day. After that I decided that I wanted to be brave too - you made me want to be brave and stand up for myself.” He paused. “That sounds cheesey as fuck, I know, but it’s true. And tonight, when you were telling your own jokes, stuff you’d written and worked hard on, I realized it again - that I want to be brave. I don’t want to be scared to admit it.”

“Really?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah. But there’s something else, Rich...the only person I told before now is Bev, and that’s because she guessed, you know? She could tell, but I also knew she’d listen and not judge.” He took a deep breath. “When I was in the hospital, every time I woke up, you were there - you refused to leave me. The others would be there too, usually taking turns, but you didn’t do that - you were always there. And before that, when we were stuck in that fucking thing’s lair, I saw you…” His voice failed for a moment, and he hurriedly looked away. “Fuck, Richie, you were under the deadlights and I...I thought I was going to lose you. I couldn’t bear it, Rich - I just couldn’t. I had to do something, I had to save you even if it meant putting myself in danger.”

“Well…” Richie wasn’t sure what to say - this wasn’t how he imagined this conversation going at all. “It worked. I’m not dead.”

“No, I know. But do you get what I’m trying to say, Richie?” Eddie asked anxiously. “Why I’m telling you all this?” 

“I dunno, man,” Richie said dazedly, trying not to get his hopes up - he couldn’t, he couldn’t let himself think one thing and be brought down when it was not true, not if he could help it. “This whole night has been a clusterfuck for me, and I’m not entirely convinced I’m not high and hallucinating right now.”

It wasn’t true - he hadn’t been high in nearly five years, and he’d given up excessive drinking after reuniting with the Losers. He knew Eddie knew that already, but it was the first excuse he found himself latching onto.

“Jesus Christ, Richie.” The smaller man rolled his eyes but remained otherwise serious. “I’m trying to say that I’ve...I’ve liked you since we were kids too. Loved you, actually. God knows why since you’re an idiot who annoys the shit out of me, but damn it, I love you, Richie Tozier.”

“…Fuck.”

“I was never going to tell you,” Eddie admitted, folding his arms and looking rather uncomfortable. “Even though I decided I was going to try to be brave, that I wasn’t going to keep up with a sham of a marriage, I thought that you weren’t…you know. And I thought that even if you were, then I’d be the last one you’d want to be with.” Strangely, he gave a smile. “Fucking dumb, right?”

Richie nodded. “Very fucking dumb. Jesus, Eddie, do you not see the way I’ve been looking at you? Fuck, there’s been days you’ve given me boners in public just because I was thinking about you.”

“Urgh, too much information, asshole,” Eddie huffed – but the affection behind it was obvious, his facial expression softening. “So…where does this leave us, Richie? What happens next?”

“Next?” Richie considered this. “Well, being honest, I’d love to take you out and do this shit properly, but…”

“But?”

He hesitated, giving the other man a surprisingly serious look. “But that’s your choice – if you wanna stay friends, I respect that.”

To his surprise, Eddie huffed before stepping forwards; before Richie could say anything else, he was being kissed firmly on the mouth, hands cupping his face and pulling him close. He wasted no time in closing his eyes and kissing him back, his heart soaring as his entire body came alive.

For the first time all night, the panic and anxiety that had set him on edge flowed away completely: all he felt was exhilaration and relief – and love, love for this man in his arms. Suddenly it didn’t matter about what anyone else thought – whether ‘fans’ would send him hate online, how this could impact his entire career, his manager hounding him with how much he’d regret this – because none of it was important, not as important as this, as finally being able to hold the person he loved, who he’d always loved, and being able to be open with himself as well as those closest to him.

Yeah, Richie thought to himself blissfully, he didn’t regret his decision in the slightest.

[frogboyandzombieface]

hii, hope you're doing well!

7, 12, 19, 23, 37 and 49 for the ask game :)

(sorry if they're too many)

 OH MY GOD MY FUICKING DUMB LAPTOP PISSED ITSELF AND I LOST EVERYTHING I WROTE :((( WAA i will do it again though.. sighs..

7: favourite episodes in each season?

AAAHH THIS IS A HARD ONE. okay so.. season 1, has to be holly jolly. my GOD the raw emotions in that episode, with joyce and hopper and hopper discovering more about the lab and everything and like.. mikes emotions with will being ‘dead’ and.. hvfjkjhhkhj hhooohhy my goodness its just so good.

season 2: THE GATE. DJFDK FUCKING OBSSSED WITH IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH AAA like everything coming to a climax, all the build up and the action and like the VIBES ARE SOSOSOSOS FUCKING COOL I LO V E IT SCREAMINGGGG 

season 3: MMMM probably the mall rats .. its got ELMAXXXX <33333 steve and dustin being all cute when they reunite, nothing tooo bad has happened yet , it has the BEST CHARACTER IN THE WORLD MR CLARKE. and has m*leven breaking up so YA KNOW !! best episode <33

12: favourite quote?

ohh man . god i love tons of the quotes. i really love jonathans quote to will “you shouldnt like things because people tell you you’re supposed to”, but also hopper’s letter at the end of s3 is so good.. and also joyce’s quote being like “i will find him and bring him home” in s1 GOD ITS ICONIC !!! sorry i dont have a singular fav cant decide. even though its my own fucking ask game whatever <3

19: j*ncy or ronance?

im sorry j*ncy fans but ... ronance. i dont Hate j*ncy but i dont really like it that much tbh.. also i need everyone to be gay like me ok.

23: who has the best hairstyle throughout all the seasons?

MAAAANN i gotta be basic and say steve. he’s always had the best hairstyle and he always will. ill say eddies a close second though.. my god i love his hair

37: if byler is something you’ll think will happen, how do you think they’ll handle it?

AAHHH SHITTT IM SO NERVOUS ABOUT THIS. i REALLY hope they’ll handle it in a concise, well-thought out way that slowly builds up to the ship and reveals it to general audiences (because apparently theyre too dumb to realise that theyve been coding it throughout the ENTIRE show so far) in a way that doesnt seem like its coming out of nowhere ya know?? and also i want to see mike and wills journeys of realisation and acceptance and everything like that handled in the way it deserves to be handled. they are my blorbos ok i am extremely attached and i need to see them go thru the proper channels,, especially mike because he’s clearly only coming to the realisation recently and he obvi has some Thinking to do. THE DUFFERS DONT KNOW THEM LIKE I DO💀💀

49: do you think mike is gay, straight, bi or other?

mann i gotta be honest hes probably gay. like all the queercoding he’s had throughout the seasons and the way he acts with eleven and everything, it points to the fact that hes probably gay more than bisexual. but im completely open to the idea of him being bi honestly !!! no bi erasure here :)) all i know is that he is certainly NOT STRAIGHT ok. this boys fruitier than the entire fruit isle he and will sat in in season 3.

stranger things asks! ⚡

[joyrose-fandomer]

Music club AU Chap2 (Sanders sides Human AU)

TL;DR: What if you just wanted to play music in peace but the autor sayed “chaos twins :)”

POV: Virgil

Relationship: Creativitwins, Prinxiety, Logicality parent to Virgil, (later in the story) Dukceit.

TW: Play fighting

<<Previous  Next>>

-----------------------

God loves to mess with little old Virgil, do they?

The teenager just wanted to play music and have a good time, for ONCE!

But nooo, couldn't have that did he?

Virgil just opened the door to the classroom where the music club took place, standing at the threshold, staring at not one but both of yesterday's idiots staring back at him from their seat in the classroom.

He closed back the door. A laugh exploded inside the room followed by rushed footsteps.

Virgil practically ran through the corridor and was at the other side of it when someone flew the door of the classroom open and yelled.

"WAIT, COME BACK!"

It was a good thing that it was lunchtime and everyone was out, eating because Virgil would not have been able to handle the embarrassment.

The guy took the chance to run through the corridor while Virgil was still stunned.

He reached him breathless.

"Wait... don't go.... just...one second" He took a few deep breaths "Alright... Let's start again."

The tall boy corrected his posture and fashed a 100-watt smile.

"Hi. I'm Roman. And you are?"

Virgil looks at the hand his schoolmate was extending to him like it was going to electrocute him. Wich he was seriously considering could happend.

  The unconvinced emo took a long look up and down the dramatic boy who was growing more uncomfortable and nervous every second.

He was a head taller than Virgil, His hair where a stylish mess, he was wearing an outfit stolen straight up from a model magazine and not to be gay but he was so jacked that Virgil could see his pecks from under his shirt.

"Sooo..." The much to jacked teen continued when he saw that Virgil was not going to answer "Should I be worried by this elevator look or..." He left the end of the sentence hanging in the hope that Virgil would tell him something, anything.

But he simply rose an eyebrow.

Roman finally let his arm fall to his side, starting to be tired of holding it up for so long.

"Look. I got it. Using you for a challenge was not cool. I'm dumb and my brother is even dumber.

 But still, give me chance. I really want to get to know you. So, how about we get back to the classroom before the teacher arrives and you can decide my fate after?

Please?"

His dramatic schoolmate had quickly shot the sentences one after the other, making big movements to accentuate his point.

  Alright, Virgil was starting to get second-hand anxiety from this interaction, let's just go back to the classroom and get it over with.

He sighed and reluctantly got past the nervous mess in front of him to make his way back down the corridor, causing a disbelieving grin to appear on the face of the other boy who started trotting behind him.

If only he knew that he just threw out the window his only chance at peace for that smile.

Once in the classroom, Virgil was immediately greeted by a whistle coming from the other member of the dumb duo who was now sprawled over two chairs and tables. His hair was partially white and his outfit looked like he stoled Roman's close and made them voluntarily look as terrible as possible.

Virgil looked back at Roman who was joining his own hands together over his mouth, silently praying to Virgil to not back out. 

Puppy eyes had always been the emo's weakness, his dad used them constantly against him, so when a pretty face was giving him those hopeful eyes he was unable to refuse.

He reluctantly walked into the classroom only to realize that the only seat left was the one right in front of the brothers that none took due to being the closest to the teacher. 

Great.

"Wow, Ro! I can't believe you managed to get him to stay, that's a new record!"

Roman's brother claimed, throwing his arms for emphasizes and almost hitting Virgil in the process.

"Not thank's to you. Now scout over I wants my sit."

"Make me"

The strange twin challenged with a smirk. A challenge that was apparently accepted immediately judging by the wicked smile appearing on the face of the other twin.

"Gladly"

The dramatic boy took the ankles of the chaotic one and all but dragged him to the floor, getting a laugh out of his brother. Everyone was looking at them like they were insane and Virgil couldn't agree more.

Roman sunk in his sit, behind Virgil, completely unbothered by the chorus of confused laughter from the other students.

This was the scene playing when the teacher entered the classroom. Everyone when as silent as possible, a few of them had to hold their laughter with their hands. The embodiment of chaos looked up from his spot on the ground with an innocent smile.

The teacher took silently a sip of his coffee and walked past the teenager to reach the front of the room before sitting on his desk.

  "Sup, everyone. Glad to see a lot of familiar faces. For those who don't know me, the name's Remy. I'm a music teacher and I'll babysit you all an hour every week for this club. You're welcome."

At the word 'babysit' he looked through his sunglasses at the trouble maker who was sitting back on his chair.

It took barely a look to know which student already knew the men, smiling and snickering like it was their wired uncle or big brother. And the ones who discovered the strange character, blinking and staring in confusion.

Two girls started whispering to each other a few rows behind, causing the teacher to snap his fingers to get their attention.

"Sorry, Sir! We were just wondering if Remy was your last name"

One of the girls quickly apologized.

"Don't sir me and no, that's my first name. My name is Dorme. Any other question?"

After a silence, he continued.

"Good. So I'm going to take the same call from last year and cross out everyone we lost during the summer break. Toby!"

Someone with orange hair and a skeleton hoody rose their hand.

"Hi Toby, last year right? Think you can go to the club and study at the same time?"

"No problem, Remy"

Remy nodded and looked back at his list.

"Amely!"

A tall girl with a flowery dress rose her hand from the back of the class.

"Hey girl, how's the transition going? Want to stay with the altos or do you want to try and go soprano?"

"It's going great but I'd like to stay alto if possible"

"Of course. Next, Mike!"

There was no answer so he crossed them out. It continued like that for a few more minutes before he put the list down and took an empty paper.

"Ok, now time to cheek the newbies. Just say your name, pronoun, and any instrument you can play.  We start from the front and make our way back from left to right."

Meaning Virgil was first. Too much pressure.

He looked up at the teacher who was waiting for him to speak. Everyone was looking at him it was awful. He went to say his name but his voice refused to cooperate.

The teacher handed him the empty sheet where the anxious boy wrote 'Virgil Adams, he/him, base'

"Quick question, do you think you'll be able to sing or-" Mr. Dorme posed mid-sentence when he looked at the paper. "Never mind. Steve, good news, we have a base. You can play the guitar now!"

Steve, a boy with a plaid shirt and dark curly hair, made a 'woohoo!' of victory.

Remy looked back at Virgil.

"Don't worry about singing if you don't feel like it. Want to start tuning the base?"

The high schooler noded quickly and practically ran to the back of the classroom where Nat, one of the older students showed him where the material was.

The teacher called for the next student to introduce themself.

There was a noise of a chair being pushed back followed by an obnoxious voice.

"Greetings! I'm Roman Poquelin, he/him, and I can play any string and wind instrument except the base, the violoncello, and, god forbid, the kazoo."

"The kazoo is great! You don't know what you're talking about!"

The other twin defended

"The kazoo is an atrocity made by people with no taste!"

"You just hate fun!"

"This is not fun it's torture!"

Remy intervened before the kazoo debate blows up to far.

"That's enough you two, Roman sit down. Next."

"Remus Poquelin, he/them, I play every percussion as well as the trombone, accordion, bagpipe, otamatone, and KAZOO"

The chaotic twin insisted on the word 'kazoo' just the get a reaction from his brother who growled at him.

"Hey, that makes two Rems!" Toby yelled.

"You're right one of us got to change their name it ain't me" Remy added with a joking tone.

Remus thought about it for a moment before screaming proudly "DUKE!"

There was a confused silence cute only by a little "what?" from Steve.

Remus anwserd with a big dramatic mouvement.

"Everyone! Call me duke, or duky, or D or Di-"

"We are not calling you that." Roman interrupted with a tired sigh.

Virgil was starting to wonder if they were going to always be like that because it was starting to be exhausting.

Remy probably thought the same since he downed all his coffee before pushing on with the rest of the introductions.

 Luckily there were only the two girls left who didn't make a scene out of it. Named Branda and Harley. Two sopranos, none playing any instrument.

Steve had joined Virgil with his guitar and they waited for Remy to explain the year's program. 

Apparently, he had planed a few small concerts around the school during the year and 3 big ones including a competition interschool, and two concerts not taken in charge by the school as extra scholar activity.

That made a lot of concerts, and no matter how much Virgil liked to play, he still hated being under the spotlight.

They then made some vocal exercises and while everyone was reading the lyric of the song they were going to work on today, Remy explains how to play the song to Virgil, Steve, and Remus who got asked to play the drums.

The song was rather simple and except for Virgil, everyone was singing. They had to start again multiple times due to Remus somehow managing to never sing the note right while still playing the drums perfectly.

"Remus, can you sing me a 'la'?" Mr. Remy asked probably starting to wonder if he was doing it voluntarily.

Remus sang a 'mi'

"Try again?"

a 're'

"No, that's worst. Again?"

a 'si'

"Ok, you're just messing with me now" The teacher sighed

Roman rose his hand.

"He's not messing with you. He actually can't do it. 

He knows what note your asking of him he just can't sing it, but he can still play."

The music teacher looked confused at that.

"Do you want to be exempted from singing little duke?"

He got answered with a big nod. 

So now they were two not singing.

On the other hand, Roman grew more and more comfortable with the song and his dramatic personality slowly took over until they riched the last song and he couldn't help but hold the last note for almost a full minute. 

Virgil and Steve had stopped playing by now but Remus kept a drum roll for his brother with a straight face, apparently knowing that it was going to happen.

When Roman finished the bassist exchanged a look with the drumer and somehow he just knew they were thinking the same thing.

Remus grinned and suddenly they were both laughing.

  Nate joined in, hiding his face in his jacket, then Remy, Amely, and in seconds everyone was laughing, Roman included.

  The bell rang. Warning them that it was time to go back to class.

While cleaning everything up Virgil heard Branda comment.

"It's going to be a weird year"

Never, truer words had been said.

***<>========<>***

(Virgil : Not to be gay but *proceed to be very gay*) XD

[kaypeace21]

ignoring the fact that they sound like a married couple arguing, mike and will are also bickering over whether or not el and mike are still together. it was written in the script, rehearsed, performed, and kept in the final cut that will OUTRIGHT SAYS “she said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.” and max yells “it wasn’t!” :@;$:@/&$:&:??!?! they literally said they’re not endgame. they aren’t endgame.

i KNOW right! Based on the s4 movies I think things are reversed and it’s El who can’t accept they are broken up. A lot of films said to inspire s4 have ex gfs refuse to accept the break up -one even hits on her gay ex-bf ( ‘birdcage’ ). Similar scenario in ‘clueless’ with girl hinting on gay guy who just wants to be friends.  Max in s3 having to correct El that Mike is her “ ex boyfriend” and Will saying “that doesn’t sound like a break”. And Max agreeing “it wasn’t!” is foreshadowing they never actually got back together.  IT WASN’T A BREAK! But El may not accept this.

It’s similar, to the random telemarketing joke where they had Mike say on the phone “El, sorry not interested “ and hang up . It was foreshadowing.

In the films the exes constantly call . Mike telling El “i’ll call so often you’ll have to turn your walkie off” was also foreshadowing of what Mike will do to her in s4. Since ,he hung up on her in s3 when she called demanding to know where he was at 9:30 in the morning.  In  ‘swingers’ the guy name mike (whose friends call him ‘gay’)  hangs up on his ex gf who wants to get back together . He hangs up on her so he can talk to his new love interest (Will) . Specifically, Hangs up on his ex as she says  “I love-“. Then in ‘splash’ he breaks up with his gf on the phone and says “do I love you?well what about you?” To dodge the question (then yells at a family member ease dropping on the other line -Karen). And they break up on the phone. And he tells a friend later he never loved her. 

2 movies the ex says they’ll get back together and their new relationships are “just phases” etc ( waynes world,  high fidelity, dumb and dumber). Saying they’re still together when they aren’t  (wayne’s world). Loads of movies had the crazy ex sabotage new relationships, call constantly, stalk, and flirt despite the exes discomfort and repeatedly saying it’s over (despite the ex not loving them and just be possessive and not wanting them with other people).

The exes are cray in the films (el stalking and never apologizing for spying. And mileven dancing to the song ‘every breath you take’ a song about a stalker ex who doesn’t take no for an answer -after their ex hooks up with their friend, wasn’t a coincidence). Along with El watching ‘days of our lives’ where she mimicked erica who was in a relationship with Mike roy. And it ended messy with one of them sabotaging their new relationship, stalking them, and claiming the stalking victim still loved them. (Although, they eventually accepted that wasn’t true).  

El  stalked Mike in s2 (all that stuff milevens found romantic- El watching him without him knowing. Mike said he was not ok with it in s3). And in s3 (like the song) she stalks him after their breakup, and when he said not to do that she just says ‘i make my own rules’. I think s4 shows just how ‘un-cute’ this behavior can get.

 I’ve already talked about that awkward kiss scene to death. But i think it indicates Mike assumes they’re broken up and el assumes they’re back together. 

FIrst he  LIED AGAIN (the cause of the breakup)- and pretended he didn’t confess to her at the end of s3. And never said “ I love you’ back! He even tries to take the words back and  says about the prior love confession “ “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head and says everything he said at the cabin was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing…”

They even frame the scene right before the kiss strangely, making El look larger and imposing, as she approaches. Mike feels cornered (you the viewer subconsciously are supposed to feel claustraphobic/trapped/cornered/stuck along with Mike).

We see him furrow his brows (uncomfortable and confused ) when El initiates the romantic moment, saying “I love you too.”

 And cue most awkward kiss in history- where he keeps his eyes open the whole time and doesn’t kiss back. (In Will’s room, mike in front of an open closet, as el holds Will’s s1 bear.)

 During the kiss, the song ‘the first i love you ‘played. The only other time they played that song in s3,  was when Robin rejects Steve’s  romantic confession and she comes out as gay . Interesting choice for that awkward mileven kiss/confession shown later where El says she loves Mike (and mike keeps his eyes open, doesn’t kiss back or return the ‘I love you’). It’s foreshadowing of Mike rejecting El (in the future) cause he’s gay.

We even see El’s reaction first (happy, smiling and giddy). Assuming they’re back together. But then we blur the screen to see Mike’s opposing expression. He looks confused, bewildered and even furrows his brows again.

Then we see El initiating all the romantic stuff outside.El seems to be the one trying to make it romantic- like Mike hugging el and lucas with one arm identically (hand on their upper back), but El caresses his chest.

And as Mike stops the hug El shoves his head into hers (it actually looked like it hurt honestly XD)

the byler centric ending with the Hopper monologue reinforces this theme. Mike while looking at both cars driving away was thinking of Will . They show this by having Mike be sad as Will drives away (alone) twice as Mike  sadly watches him leave- this was done to show that he’s actually upset the 2 later times where Will and El leave at the same time -because of Will. I showed it in one of my vids here, at 23:11

When we first see Mike during the Hopper monologue , it continues to pan to only Mike and Will (not El) cause what he says is mostly about them. “I’ve been feeling distant from you. Like you’re pulling away from me or something” (Will does this both figuratively/literally). I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”. Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (he just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave without him) like how Will turned to watch Mike leave and hold hands with El  (as the crew  go up the hill without Will).  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. And I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”

It pans to both of them on  “i don’t want things to change’ cause that’s how they both feel. Mike , ‘doesn’t want things things to change’. He doesn’t want their friendship to change as they ‘get older’ because he’d have to and acknowledge his feelings for Will are romantic and if he’s “being honest” that “scares” him (especially in rural 80s conservative-Indiana at the height of the aids epidemic).  Why we see Mike trying to act like a adult while dating El, and Will trying to act like a kid- they’re both trying to escape  growing up to be gay in different ways. Will reverting to childhood activities and saying he’ll ‘never fall in love’ (after his double date with lumax). And Mike trying to act like “old people’ saying “we’re not kids anymore... what did you expect that we’d never get girlfriends?” Cause he equates straight romance with being an adult and his feelings for Will as something he has to grow out of . Which he learns in the very end isn’t possible.

Right after that scene it switches from Will crying,  to Mike entering his house. His face is visibly red from crying and he looks shocked (almost as if he realized something) before he hugs his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1. 

And the dialogue in this scene says “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will are romantic.  When things were simple. I think the last episode is when Mike truly realizes he’s been in love with Will this entire time and he can’t fix it and transfer his feelings for Will on to el (something he’s been trying to do all of s3). El said he loved him and he felt nothing-and he was heartbroken over Will leaving (not El). Which is why he just seems almost shocked/numb as he’s processing this fact. This whole scene only showed Mike and Will transitions- el was never there, cause Mike wasn’t upset over her.

In the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors the scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. In s1 the romantic/queer coded lyric from the song ‘We can be heroes’ plays as he hugs his mom “And we kiss as though nothing could fall. And the shame.”. And during the s3 move  (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!  And David Bowie wrote this song and Jonathan even said to Will  in his ‘being a freak is the best speech’ “who would you rather be friends with David bowie (a queer singer) or Kenny Roggers?”

It’s why finn wolfhard after s3 liked this byler pic. cause s3 was all about Will and Mike denying their feelings for each other.

Not to mention,After s1 Finn quoted the  Duffers saying Mike thought of El as a “puppy’ (dart) or “et” , and then said  Mileven was a  “first summer love thing”- foreshadowing mileven’s downfall during the Summer (aka s3). He repeats this “first summer love” phrase 2x.  Millie when he mentioned what the duffers said rightfully thought the puppy thing was “awful”, but Finn was clearly told mileven doesn’t last -very early on- and most likely the Duffers told him “it’s like a first summer love thing”.Summer love” by definition fails-as it only lasts during the summer.

[willthecleric]

i really wanna have hope that byler will happen, and i agree with all of the subtext you've pointed out, i just have a really bad feeling that they're not gonna pull through :( i haven't watched the movies on the s4 list, so maybe that's why i feel less certain, but i'm just generally unsure that it will actually happen, despite really wanting it to? how can you be so sure that it will? love ur blog by the way! :D

Aww, thank you so much! Well, I used to have doubts too, so I get what you mean. But remember a few different things:

1. Mike is clearly written as gay, seeing as he is very much comp het in S3 (bisexual boys can imagine themselves in love with females, it isn’t some foreign concept and ‘something old people do’). Many straight guys found Mike’s behaviour with El strange. For a reason: he was trying to be straight and took it too far. He was especially mimicking Lucas. Seeing Mike as gay also recontextualizes a lot of his behaviour in S1 and S2. I just don’t understand why they would make Mike gay and give him so much coding for it if they were planning to have him with a girl. Makes more sense to have him bisexual or straight then. I’m not exagerrating when I say that Mike’s main story arc is about him realizing he is gay and coming to terms with that and accepting his love for Will.

2. When originally writing the S1 script, El was supposed to die. They changed it, my guess, because she helped them with a few plot points (mainly as a beard for Mike). I’m not sure why they’d have wanted her dead initially if Mileven was planned as endgame. That on top of Mike being gay is another strike against Mileven.

3. El is way behind Mike intellectually. Mike is very smart, and El doesn’t even know what a State is. It just doesn’t work and Mike is way older than her intellectually. It is creepy and will just get worse and worse. Not sure why they would do that if Mileven was meant to be endgame.

4. The Duffers parallelled Mileven with ET and Elliott multiple times in S1, and told Finn that Mike saw El as an alien or a puppy. Not at all romantic. Mileven was paralleled to Dustin and Dart in S2. In S3 it was mentioned that Mike saw El as a pet. Mike doesn’t trust El. He couldn’t answer when she told him to trust her, and changed the subject when Max said he doesn’t trust her. Mike was also justifiably upset about El spying on him (which El never felt bad about). Mike lies to El and El stalks/spies on him. Most of S2 Mileven was El stalking and spying on Mike and they used ominous music (so clearly it is not meant to be romantic). Mike had no idea she was watching him, and we saw in S3 how he would have felt if he found out about her doing that. They danced to a song about a stalking ex. Multiple movies hint that El stalks Mike in S4 (which is supported by her in S2 and S3). Those S2 Mileven scenes weren’t meant to be romantic, they are meant to be creepy. Not that I blame El. She is confused and doesn’t understand. She doesn’t know any better. The Duffers hate Mileven. They have dissed it many times (which kaypeace has shown examples of).

5. Mike and El do not share interests or even seem to like each other. El thinks Mike’s interests are dumb and that he talks too much. They don’t trust each other, and trust is essential to love. Period. Neither even sees the other as a person. She has been a tool/weapon to him. And an alien/puppy. It’s a part of his using her as a beard. He doesn’t feel bad about it because he doesn’t see her as a person. He did feel some guilt over her death, but most of him wanting her back in S2 was wanting her to fix him. His attitude problem and issues with Max in S2 were about his growing feelings for Will, NOT about El. Mike was angry at Hopper at the end of S2 because he blamed Hopper for keeping his beard away from him. He thougnt if El was there, he would not have these feelings for Will. Mike blamed Hopper for everything. Why he was so angry with him in S3. And El doesn’t see Mike as a person either. To her, he is a sense of comfort and normalcy, like her teddy bears and Hopper’s shirt. She also projected a soap opera character she liked onto him. El only found Mike attractive when she thought he was a bad boy. She didn’t know if she liked kissing him after months of making out. She referred to him as her first boyfriend, implying she was thinking of dating others in the future. There is a reason why she came to Mike three months after the main events of the season. Comfort. She lost her dad and was moving away from her new home. She was seeking normalcy. Mike is that to her.

6. They made the ending with Mileven ambiguous as far as if they are dating or not. Which idk why they would do that if Mileven was the main ship. Why make it ambiguous? I think it was intentionally done that way. El was acting romantic while Mike was more platonic in nature. I think that is to hint towards them not being on the same page. As I mentioned, numerous movies and show canon hints to El stalking Mike and spying on him. Multiple movies have Mike frustrated and not interested. And we already saw how he felt about El spying on him. I think El believes they are dating and doesn’t get it when Mike and others tell her that they are not. She doesn’t understand.

7. They made numerous Mileven and Byler parallels in S3, of S2 Byler moments redone for Mileven, and things happening between both ships in the same season. Byler always won by a landslide. They completely destroyed Mileven instead of building it up, which makes no sense if it’s endgame. Mileven had poor development from the start, and if they wanted to pull it off, makes more sense to work hard to build them up instead. Also driving away the fandom so it’s not popular anymore... why do that? It makes no sense. Queer baits don’t do that. Seems more like a straight bait to me.

8. In S1, homophobic Troy was: shoved by Mike (who is gay), forced to piss his pants in front of the school who laughed at him, had his arm broken, and was made to look like a fool. This shows what they think about homophobes. They also have posted LGBT+ positivity on Twitter. They are not homophobic and do not support homophobia. They are not going to work to please a bunch of homophobic Milevens.

9. According to multiple movies and show hints, Byler is essential and key to fixing everything. The Never Ending Story was repeatedly in S3 for a reason. It’s a hint. Not just at Will being the chosen one instead of El, but also... ‘and there upon a rainbow is the answer to a never ending story’. It’s outright telling us that Byler is the answer. Not only because rainbows are a gay symbol in itself, but Mike is also connected to rainbows as a part of his coding.

10. Multiple movies hint that Stranger Things is a book written by Mike for Will, sharing his story and their love story. Mike is the character who wants to be a writer, and the episodes are called CHAPTERS. That supports Stranger Things being a book. And the book is always written by the Mike character for the Will character. They let it be known that Mike wants to be a writer. It was mentioned as his career goal in his yearbook page, and he writes most of the D&D campaigns (besides the one that Will wrote).

11. Byler is the biggest and main relationship of the show. It’s the relationship that gets the most development, the one that gets the most romantic scenes, the one that gets the most coding by far. And every single pairing (minus Jopper and Ted/Karen as far as I can tell) parallels Byler while it is healthy and happy. The moment that stops being the case, they start paralleling Mileven. Not a good sign for Mileven. And Mileven only parallels Byler a lot because Mike has been using El as a substitute for Will (something that is mentioned by the Mike character in a number of movies, using the El character of the movie as a substitute to the Will character).

Hopefully this helped you (and anyone else) feel better about things. 😃

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - 15x19. Why it’s a good ep considering Destiel

As all of my SPN metas, it’s Destiel positive and happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read.

I wasn’t disappointed of this ep’s outgoing, in fact, I’ve been waiting for something like that.  Here in September I wrote my specs for the last 7 eps, and for 15x19 there was one: “they will not talk about Cas’s saving. And he will be dead in this episode for sure”. I was especially sure about this spec after 15x18. ‘Cause THE INTRIGUE guys. 

There is no intrigue at all - only Cas’s returning/saving in 15x20 could SAVE THE SHOW. Other way - it’s never too late to rebel :) Though I don’t think it will be necessary, not in this case.  So I liked the 15x19 outcome and my hopes for the DeanCas happy end are strong as ever. 15x19 made them stronger. 

I liked a lot of things in the ep - so, so many of them. Jack and Dean’s grieving. Blood mark on Dean’s jacket. Sam and Dean’s readiness to surrender. Dean’s demand for Chuck, to return Cas - though ONLY CAS AND DEAN THEMSELVES COULD DO IT. Luci’s comeback as a fact - I speculated about it a bit here, though I thought more of Nick calling to Luci. But Nick was also Chuck’s puppet, why not?  Luci’s playing Cas - “let me in”. We saw Dean’s weakness, so clear that it hurts and could be even uncomfortable to watch. We ALL understood that was a coy the moment Luci called I suppose - but not Dean. And THIS FACT alone is nice - not the details though.  Michael’s tragedy, though hidden and not well-played - but it was there.  Chuck’s inability to love. The whole metaness of his character - “I’m cancelling your show” again. His death wish. Sam and Dean’s revenge neglect. “That’s not who I am. That’s not who we are”. Chuck as a human, without his strength. It’s strange, but I think he could be happy now! If he’ll change something in himself, of course.  Chuck’s empty Book of Death. His book is empty now, there will be no new Death... and he can start from the beginning. He can write his own story now and be redeemed - despite all the things he had done. It’s a new page for him as well. Chuck finally could be free himself.  The way Jack became the new Almighty AFTER exploding in the Empty. THE EMPTY IS THE ONE THAT GAVE HIM THE STRENGTH, it’s not the enemy. I wrote about it here.   Amara’s mentioning - and it was Sam who asked about her, she was important for both Sam and Dean all the way.  Beautiful acting - they certainly did their best with the script given. 

The way how the children should be free of their parents - Michael and Luci from Chuck, Sam and Dean from Chuck - and their dad, his name even wasn’t curved on the table by the end of the ep and despite the kind words to John in 14x13 we saw in 15x16 and 15x17 how destructive was John’s impact on Dean - not at Sam, ‘cause Dean was protecting Sam all along. Jack from Sam and Dean - this freedom is blurred though ‘cause of Cas’s absence in the episode structure. But his freedom is a good thing itself - for Jack it’s impossible to be a human, Kelly believed that. Cas believed that. Cas saw paradise on earth - so Jack’s chosen fate was in being a Child who is everywhere, in all of us, who doesn’t play with us, but lets us act ourselves. He isn’t the God as we understand him in strict norms, he isn’t cruel and abusive.  And he should be free of any expectations from Sam and Dean - Cas said it in 15x18 to him. Jack is a grown-up in his own manner. He is independent now, and that’s a good thing. 

Also, there is a promise in these shots:

We see these shots 3 times - before Jack returns all the humans, in the process of returning (see the girl whose bike was abandoned at the road at the end of 15x18 and at 15x19 beginning?) and when he talks about him being everywhere.  One More. The One.  Is Jack the One now? Is he the one more One?  Is it ONE MORE EPISODE? One more story? One more thing? One more... You can continue the thought if you want. All I want to say - these shots are visually important and I find them hopeful :)

I liked Sam and Dean in the end. I’m a Destiel shipper but I’ve never hated Sam and Sam and Dean’s relationship. I just think it’s not good for this relationship to be romantic - it’s not good for both of Sam and Dean. But I respect them and their bond and don’t see anything bad for DeanCas ship in it. In fact, it’s quite the opposite - Sam was helping both Cas and Dean all the time. I’m afraid of thinking what will happen without him. Nothing good I suppose. I liked the way this scene was filmed. It’s also hopeful for me - though the double reading here is possible.  But I think “just us” is not the end.  I liked the names curved on the table as the fact. Now it’s confirmed - they ARE a family. All of them.

I liked the choice of the song - Running on Empty. Wow. Symbolically - ‘cause the Empty in the story is the separate character AND the place, you know. I liked a clip-show at the end. It’s nostalgic and sweet, and it has Cas in it - he IS the part of that, not only as Dean’s love interest, hey. He has his own party.  Here the story of blood ends.  What’s next?

We’ll wait and see. 

And now - some things in 15x19 which left me disappointed. 

I must confess that I’ve always loved SPN myth-arcs and wasn’t noticing Destiel as a thing for a while because my interests weren’t in the field of shipping. This show wasn’t about shipping for me - and the weirdest, it isn’t about shipping for me now. It’s a DAMN GOOD STORY WITH THE SENSE. And the sense is love. Yep. 

So this episode didn’t do well with the myth-arc.  

You see, I kinda enjoyed some of Buckleming eps. For instance, 15x13 - I love it, and there are some more. I’ve even appreciated their lack of subtext, parallels, allusions sometimes. They could be very specific. One more example - when Dean in 11x03 cupped Cas’s face, it was very easy to understand the ROMANTIC nature of their relationship and stuff.

But this ep?! 

Pandemic situation added some stress I suppose. Nevertheless, all the story with Lucifer and Michael is just catastrophic. The only strong part was Lucifer telling Michael how Chuck can’t love - and the fact that his words were confirmed by the plot, and Chuck’s inability to love finally ended him. We’ve known that. We’ve predicted that. I’ve written about it here. 

“You’ve killed your own son” (c) Dean, who didn’t do that.   

But the rest part of this story---ugh. Killing Luci so easily? Michael is so plain as a character? Are you f*cking kidding me?!! Even AU!Michael was more interesting, I swear. I had a feeling that I myself could write this part of story better. And it’s not about lack of Cas as Dean’s love interest or hope for his returning, or for DeanCas whatever, I’m pretty sure we will get all of that. It’s about the myth-arc only! One of the main ones from season 4! 

All this epic story of Luci and Mike could be done much more better. Like WAY MORE BETTER. With the same convo, you know,with the same outcome, which is absolutely correct - we are not supposed to serve our parents. But different details, WTF! And that’s my main point here. 

There are some other things that I’m disappointed about, though less:   1) Betty the Reaper was a total WTF either despite of her eager lines. 2) I need more explanations about how exactly Jack gained his new power, how is he reunited with Amara, how he returned all the people BUT NOT Donna, Bobbie, Charlie, Jody, Eileen, Cas - not the people HE cares about. Or they are not important for him now? This thing could be resolved in 15x20 though. 3) I didn’t like physical violence from Chuck. A) I have some doubts if he can properly do it, he like to watch. What’s changed? I’m not convinced. B) I felt physical pain from that scene. It was awful. It all could be showed for us in a different way, but they didn’t want that. 4) I didn’t like how Chuck’s mind changes every second. I don’t kill you, I don’t care about you, you’ll live and suffer, no, I’ll kill you. It could be written more properly, but hey. This part is much more harder to fix that Luci and Mike’s. 5) I didn’t like the dog move. Like AT ALL. I loved Jensen’s kind voice and his acting, but: A) all these doggy parallels are not for me, I didn’t like how Cas was called a dog before - in Buckleming eps specifically (and that terrible parallel in 8x15!), but not only there. I didn’t like when Atropos called Sam and Dean Cas’s pets either. Not my kink, sorry - and it’s JUST TOO THICK; B) it’s classic move. So classic that it’s dumb! The Bad Guy always hurts some cute pets. Kitties, doggies, birds whatever. That’s how we are supposed to understand that he is Bad. Hey, we all know that Chuck is bad. Why to add something? To mess with Destihellers? Not helping here. 6) The moment with Luci instead of Cas (for Dean, for Jack) could be less “haha gays” and more proper either I guess. It feels more like a mocking to me the way it is, whether the idea was good. Luci played Cas for Dean before (11x11, 11x14), as he played Jess for Sam and Sarah for Nick, and he played a father for Jack. He was in his place there - a mock from Chuck. But you can’t blame Chuck on the poor writing ALL THE TIME. 7)  Also the music. It just didn’t feel right.

8) The end for Jack is right... but also somehow confusing, like something is omitted. Or SOMEONE. You know whom.

Someone whose absence also made Michael so plain, I suppose. 

Jack’s story started with Cas, I think it couldn’t end without him. Jack was so devastated to hear about his death - and all is OK in the finale? ‘Cause he is the Almighty now? And Michael - he was also connected to Cas, we saw it in 14x10, in 15x08 - all the way actually. There should be some mentioning of Cas from Michael I think. Not from the DeanCas point of view - it’s Adam who noticed something in 15x08, not Michael, Michael was angry with Cas. But somehow their connection made Michael stronger as a character. Okay, he is not strong enough to rebel. But that’s Cas who said that! He said that he felt sorry for Michael, that it’s Lucifer who was always the smart one. 

Without this context Michael isn’t easy to understand - though we heard that Adam is erased and I liked that. That’s a hint - Michael had a strong will when he had Adam, without Adam he is lost, just like AU!Michael was. 

I think he is lost because he killed his Lucifer - in both cases. He gave Chuck his ending - and Chuck can’t respect that, he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like to win.  So Michael couldn’t rebel though he’d known about Chuck’s motives from Cas, and not because of love, but because him being a cuck.  And all this will be much more easier to understand with Cas’s mentioning. But NO. We had a dog instead. Like WTF again??? 

The Jack’s part could be fixed in 15x20 I suppose. But not Michael’s part.  Well, sorry for him.  Now I must add the myth-arc was also connected with Cas all along. He is not just the main hero’s love interest - well, HE IS, but he has also his role in the plot. HE IS A REAL TRICKSTER of the show, the rebellious one, the rule-breaker - at all levels. So without even MENTIONING him in the main myth-arc all this arc looks like a card house, and not as proper as Luci’s card house from this ep was. 

This arc deserved much more better. It deserved Cas as a trickster. Don’t like him even mentioned ‘cause he’s also Dean’s love interest? Well, say good-bye to a proper myth story. And that’s a shame, in my opinion. 

‘Cause 15x20 could be 15x19 and vice versa and both eps could win ‘cause of that. 

Well, that’s the reality we live in. And we’ve got so much goodness already. We should be thankful for that. 

9) Who the hell is curved Jack and Cas’s names on the table? Sam and Dean? Jack? With Mary, it had sense, with all these flashbacks. I understood she curved her name herself. What’s for Cas and Jack? What’s the point? Dead for good? I know that’s NOT the point. So what is it? I can’t understand it here. 

We need continuation, guys! :)

[completemalum]

You're My Favorite Place

Or alternatively, Four Times Calum Almost Kissed Michael and One Time He Did.

Genre: Fluff, some angst

Rating: Everyone

A/N: This oneshot is basically a collection of mini stories that all kind of connect to each other. Title based off Favorite Place by All Time Low.

2006, Age 10

It was another Michael and Calum Weekend Sleepover, and Michael had woken up crying due to one of his night terrors. Calum was currently cuddling Michael with Michael's face buried into Calum's neck. It wasn't unusual for them to cuddle like this. They usually ended up forgoing their sleeping bags and sharing a bed together. Plus, they were best friends. They saw nothing wrong with sharing a bed. But for some reason, this felt...different to Calum. Calum was no strangers to Michael's night terrors and was always willing to help calm him down. But for some reason, this time he felt like he needed to protect Michael. Which was weird, as Calum was scrawnier and quieter than Michael and Michael was pretty much Calum's bodyguard. And with the way Michael's hand was bunching up Calum's shirt and his nose pressed against Calum's neck, he had a strong urge to kiss Michael. But he told himself no, boys can't kiss other boys. And boys especially can't kiss their best friends. Plus, he liked girls...right? At that moment he wasn't quite sure if he had ever had a crush on a girl. But he didn't want to spend all night contemplating if he liked girls or not. What mattered was that he was there, with Michael. He opted for a quick kiss on the top of Michael's head once he was sure Michael had fallen asleep and cuddled close to him before falling asleep himself.

2008, Age 12

Calum knew two things: 1. He had a huge crush on Michael. And 2. He was bisexual. He learned the term "bisexual" after his older sister, Mali, came out to him about her secret girlfriend. And honestly, he was very comfortable with that label and quite proud about figuring out his sexuality. But of course, Michael didn't know. He couldn't know. Calum was so scared that him telling Michael that he likes boys would scare Michael off because what if Michael somehow found out about Calum's crush on him and didn't want to be friends anymore?? Calum couldn't bear the thought of that. So he kept his thoughts to himself, occasionally sneaking glances at Michael and smiling at the way Michael stuck his tongue out in concentration whenever they played video games together.

Calum was yanked out of his thoughts when Michael announced "It's hot in here, can we go watch TV downstairs or something?"

Calum shrugged "We could go outside and play football."

"Noooo, playing football with you isn't fair, you always win!" Michael whined, flinging himself dramatically onto Calum's bed.

"Now you know how I feel playing racing games with you." Calum retorted with a grin

"Fiiiine." Michael groaned as he got off the bed. Calum grinned and followed Michael downstairs, grabbing the football by the door before stepping into the backyard. "Same goal spots as usual?" Michael asked

Calum nodded and put the football on the ground, gently kicking it with his foot. "Same goals." He grinned before taking off with the ball towards the goal.

"Hey! No fair!" Michael yelled, chasing after Calum. Calum laughed as Michael started catching up with him. But Michael, being clumsy as he was, tripped over his own foot, sending him and Calum tumbling. When they landed, Michael had Calum pinned to the ground. Michael grinned at Calum "Totally meant to do that."

The thought of leaning up and kissing Michael crossed Calum's mind, and he blushed before quickly pushing the thought out of his head. "Uh, let's go inside and grab a snack." Calum hoped Michael wouldn't notice that they only played football for like two minutes.

Luckily, he didn't notice, as he shrugged and said "Okay." Before climbing off Calum and heading inside. Calum groaned softly to himself before following Michael in. Having a secret crush on your best friend is hard.

2011, Age 15

The band 5 Seconds of Summer was officially together, and while they were just a small YouTube channel with a couple hundred subscribers, they were happy to be doing what they were doing. They were about to start band practice at Michael's house. Calum was the first person there as usual, sat in the basement where they rehearsed tuning his bass. Michael came downstairs to join Calum, nervously picking at his nails. Calum looked up and noticed Michael's anxious habit. "You only pick at your nails when you're nervous. Are you okay?" He asked gently.

Michael nodded as he joined Calum on the couch "It's just...I need to tell you something. But you can't tell anyone. Not even Luke and Ashton. I'm not ready to tell them yet." Calum nodded with concern on his face but gestured for Michael to continue. Michael took a deep breath. "I think I'm gay. I've known for a while now...I just finally came to terms with it recently and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around it. I just...really hope this doesn't change things between us. I don't want to lose my friend because I like boys." Calum felt his heart leap with joy. He had a chance. Maybe. Michael liked boys so it's a start at least.

He put his hand on Michael's arm "Mike...nothing could change between us. You're my best friend and it'd be dumb if I didn't want to be friends with you anymore because you like boys. I'm really happy for you, thank you for telling me." Calum saw relief wash over Michael's face and he gave Michael's arm a comforting squeeze. God, how bad he wanted to kiss Michael right then. He opened his mouth to give Michael his own confession but right then Luke and Ashton came barreling down the stairs, arguing over some new video game. Calum squeezed Michael's hand before getting off the couch and grabbing his bass. How he wished he had the courage to tell Michael how he felt.

2015, Age 19

Michael was hurt. Bad. A fire cannon had malfunctioned during one of their shows and hit Michael in the face, catching his hair on fire and burning the left side of his face. Calum had gotten burned too while trying to help Michael, but once they were at the hospital he had insisted he was fine, so they put some cream on his arm to soothe the burn and wrapped it up. Ashton was outside making phone calls and Luke went downstairs to the cafeteria to get food. Calum had told Luke that he wasn't hungry and wanted to stay with Michael. Him and Michael sat in comfortable silence for a while before Michael spoke up.

"Cal?" He asked. Calum looked up and his heart broke. Michael's lip was quivering and tears were gathering in his eyes. "What if I have a scar on my face because of this? What if people think I'm ugly?" His voice shook as tears fell from his eyes.

"Mikey..." Calum said softly, standing up to sit on the bed. He put his hand on Michael's cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb "You could never be ugly. Not to me, at least." Michael smiled softly, leaning into Calum's touch.

"Thank you for being here with me. And holding my hand on our way here. You're the only person able to keep my grounded."

Calum smiled and intertwined his and Michael's fingers and kissed his hand "I'd do anything for you." He still hadn't confessed his feelings to Michael yet, but he had become bolder with his physical affection for Michael and he knew Michael wouldn't think anything of the hand kiss. Before either of them could say anything, Luke came back with food, causing them to part. Calum cast one more longing glance at Michael before helping Luke get the food out.

2018, Age 22

5SOS was in the process of finishing up their 3rd album, Youngblood. They only had a few songs left to record and were recording the song "Why Don't You Love Me" and Michael was singing his solo in the song. All four of them were in the studio that day, but Calum was watching Michael for most of it. But he could've sworn that Michael was staring at him for most of his solo. After Michael finished, their producer suggested they take a break to get lunch. They all started to file out of the room, but Calum gently grabbed Michael's arm to stop him. He shoved his hands in his pockets before saying "Who's the song about, Mike?"

Michael looked taken aback "I-I don't know what you mean..."

Calum scoffed "I know you better than that. Every song you write involves some aspect of your life. You dont just casually write a song like that. And I noticed you glancing over at us. So, who's the lucky guy?"

Michael dropped his head and said in a voice that Calum almost didn't hear "You."

Calum's heart stopped "What?"

Michael sighed and lifted his head "The song is about you. I've been in love with you since we were 16. I wrote this song a few years ago. I'd hoped getting my feelings out would help me get over you, but-"

Michael was interrupted by Calum lunging forward and pressing his lips to Michael's. Michael made a noise of surprise before kissing back. The kiss was desperate and filled with years of unspoken words. Calum's fingers were tangled in Michael's hair and Michael was desperately gripping Calum's shirt. Calum didn't want to pull away, but he finally did when he needed to breathe. He rested his forehead against Michael's as they both panted, trying to catch their breath. After a few minutes, Calum whispered "I've dreamt of kissing you every night for ten years." Michael smiled and rubbed Calum's sides before whispering "I love you, Hood."

[transguydustin-old]

How Ben Hanscom ended up being all the losers first kiss

1. Beverly

Beverly was the first loser Ben kissed. It was eighth grade, and he had had a crush on her for a whole year before he decided to do anything about it.

He decided to write her a poem, one reminiscent of the first one he ever wrote her, and he decided to give it to her after class one day.

He searched quickly through the halls after the last bell rang, and found her near the exit.

“Beverly!” He called to her, hurrying to catch up. She turned around to him, smiling as he approached her.

“What’s up Benster?”

“I, uh, wrote you this.” He pulled the poem out of his back pocket, and handed it to her.

He shifted anxiously as her eyes read over the poem, and was relieved to see her smile sweetly at his words.

She finished the poem and neatly placed it in her bag, and leaned down to peck Ben’s lips quickly.

“Thank you Ben.” She said, a light blush spreading over her freckled cheeks.

And then she was leaving, walking backwards for a second to smile at him, before she turned around and out the door.

Ben stood there, flustered as ever, unable to process the fact that Beverly Marsh had just kissed him, and taken his first kiss, and given him her first kiss, as he knew Beverly had never kissed anyone before.

2. Mike

After his and Beverly’s kiss had never really turned into much, and his crush began to die down, Ben hadn’t done any kissing since then.

He didn’t have his second kiss until he was helping Mike with farm work one day after school late Freshman year of high school.

They were collecting eggs in the chicken coop, and Mike seemed very distracted.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked, glancing over at his friend as he placed an egg in his basket carefully.

Mike seemed to snap out of auto-pilot, and turned to Ben.

“Huh? yeah, uh, i’m good I've just been- I don’t know.” Mike sighed.

“What’s up?”

“I think i’m gay.”

“Oh, okay.” Ben continued his work, glancing at Mike every few seconds, who just frowned.

“I know it’s super cliche and dumb, but could I, uh, kiss you? To help figure shit out? If that’s okay to even ask.” Mike visibly cringed.

Ben thought it over. “Sure.” He said nonchalantly, and placed his basket down on the floor next to him before turning to Mike.

“Oh. Okay. This is happening then. I’ve never really, uh, kissed anyone.” Mike blinked, putting down his basket and turning to face Ben.

“We don’t have to, if you want your first kiss to be more special then your friend in a chicken coop.”

Mike laughed, his anxiety subsiding. “No, this is cool. This is plenty special.” They both broke into smiles. 

They sat in silence for a second, before Mike rubbed the back of his neck and spoke, “Okay I’ll just, yeah.”

And they kissed, only for a few seconds.

“Gay?”

“Yeah. Pretty gay.”

“Yeah.”

3. Bill

It was only two months after his kiss with Mike, and Ben kissed another loser.

Him and Bill were in the library, studying for their upcoming finals, and Ben had become more affectionate with his friends. He hugged them lots more, held their hands, and even kissed their cheeks sometimes.

Bill’s phone buzzed against the table, and he groaned as he read over his notification.

“Dad wants me home.” He said as he began packing up his things.

“Alrighty, I’m gonna keep studying.” Ben looked up at his friend.

Bill nodded, finishing putting his books away, and Ben sat up out of his chair to press a quick kiss to his cheek as a goodbye when Bill turned his head, causing their lips to touch briefly.

Ben, hopped back quickly. “Oh! Sorry! You weren’t supposed to move dude.” He laughed nervously.

“I think you just stole my first kiss.” Bill laughed.

4. Eddie

Sophomore year of high school, Richie dragged his friends to their first party. it was pretty small, and though Richie didn’t mention the host of the party, they were very sure it was just a drama nerd party.

One of the definite drama nerds had had the amazing and original idea to play spin the bottle, and Richie dragged Eddie and Ben into it, only being able to get them by them having no idea what the hell was happening before they were in the circle.

After a few rounds of drama nerd smooches, it was Ben’s turn, and he really didn’t want to kiss any of these drama nerds he did not know, but he was too anxious to just get up and leave and seem rude, so he spun the bottle, and it landed on Eddie, who sat only a person away from him.

He was quite relieved at this actually, as he’d much rather kiss his friend than a stranger.

Eddie didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it, but he did seem also relieved he wasn’t kissing any stranger.

Ben crawled over to Eddie quickly, and pecked his lips before retreating back to his spot.

5. Stanley

Ben didn’t kiss his next loser until Senior year of high school on new years at Bill’s house.

Bill had subtly raided a bit of alcohol from his parents cupboards, so the losers got a little tipsy for the first time.

As it approached midnight a tipsy Stan was complaining about not having anyone to kiss at midnight.

“I mean, isn’t having someone to kiss like, the whole point.” He said from his position on the loveseat he had to himself.

“I’ll kiss you at midnight if you want, Stanley.” Ben offered with an amused smile on his face at tipsy Stan’s weirdness.

And just then Stan pulled himself off the couch and walked over to Ben where he sat in Bill’s recliner, and pressed his lips firmly to Ben’s lips, holding the kiss for probably a few seconds too long.

“It’s not even midnight yet!” Beverly exclaimed, the whole group bursting out into laughter.

“Gosh! I didn’t even get to have my first kiss on midnight on new years!” Stanley fell back onto the loveseat dramatically.

6. Richie

Ben claimed the last losers first kiss the summer before college. Everyone was moving away from Derry, and only Mike and Bill would be attending the same college.

The losers spent the whole summer together, mostly staying at Bills house, and as the halfway point of summer approached, Richie was getting particularly sentimental, going on random tangents about how much he’ll miss his friends.

One afternoon the losers were all hanging around Bills pool and Richie sat up abruptly.

“Ben! Ben you have to kiss me!”

“W-what?” Ben looked up from his book, his brows furrowed.

“Of course! How could I nearly forget! You need to take my kiss virginity Ben!” Richie exclaimed, the rest of the losers watching this play out in amusement.

“Oh, right I’ve been everyone’s first kiss but yours.” Ben bookmarked his book and set it down beside him.

“You’ve never kissed anyone?” Eddie smirked, but Richie payed him no mind.

Richie placed his hands dramatically on Ben’s shoulders and looked down at him. “Lay it on me, Benjamin.”

Ben scoffed, smiling as he stood up.

Deciding to give Richie the drama he wanted, he grabbed onto Richie and dipped him dramatically, pressing his lips to Richie firmly for a few seconds.

Richie jumped up out of Ben’s grasp and threw his hands in the air. “The kiss virginity taking is complete!”

The other losers whooped and cheered unnecessarily, and Ben blushed, the feeling of being all their first kiss finally setting in.

[justtwilightshitposts-blog]

So I got high as fuck and watched Twilight for the first time in 6 years and made a list of the thoughts running through my head. Anyways it’s under the cut, enjoy lol

Dramatic entry....

I don’t understand what she’s saying

Oh my god look at her stupid fucking cactus it’s so small and dumb

Why does she sound so miserable

Charlie her hair?? Really??

How is their house so big with one fucking bathroom

Charlie really had someone else decorate her room omg

Why is he such a good fucking dad. I want to cry

“Still dancin”..... aight, billy 

Jacob looks so fucking angsty

She’s so excited about this huge ugly piece of shit truck how is she straight

Did it ever get explained in the series where the fuck Jacob goes to school

“Nice ride” ahah SOOOO FUNNY

I don’t remember his name but why is he such a try hard

*Ball comes at Bella* bella: fUCK

Jessica: stay the FUCK away from my man

Jessica you weird

Mike stop

Who tf is that dude omg he just took his fucking chair

“FEATURES DEAD, ANGELA”

Oh my god Jess when she says eating disorders aakkskakdn

This background music does not fit the characters

Yeah they live together omg

How convenient. A family full of people who fuck each other except ONE

HIS FUCKING STARE

Why they got a fan in the classroom

No introduction to the new kid? Unrealistic. Blocked.

Stop staring at each other what the shit bruh

Just jump tf out the classroom damn

Edward trying to slam the door omggg

How she gonna know you Santa when you dressed normal, tf

Just grab the ketchup

Jesus Christ just talk to each other

Goodbye cell phone then

Day one and you’re doing homework ok

Why is Edward so fucking cringey

He couldn’t handle it so he just stayed home fucking pussy

They just straight up threw a fucking rock at her

Things were getting strange AFTER he stops going to school hmmmmm?

Seriously their house is good sized

This bitch just fucking ate shit what a clumsy gay

“You’re not in Phoenix anymore”

“I need your playlist”

Why is EVERYONE hitting on Bella. She doesn’t even look straight

“Hello” bruuhhhh

His voice, TF

What is the golden onion

Why does he talk like... that

Bonding over science. Haha. Get it. Bonding

“How’s the weather”

Cold n wet. Cool

He laughin. Lmao

Aw his smile

I feel so awkward watching this conversation

Why doesn’t this bitch just sit tf still Jesus Christ

“Wait hOLD UP why didn’t you go with your mom and Phil just curious haha I’m just trying to analyze you no biggie”

The fluorescents. Walks away. ????

How tf did this mf even manage to almost crash like what. How did it even happen

He out this mf

Everyone just like. Sat there for so long not doing anything??? Then BAM OMG BELLA ALSKAJNCKDO”

Carlisle is so fucking white Jesus

Did she never notice his eyes are the same color as Edwards

Fuckin snitch omg Carlisle is not happy

“Hey ex wife our daughter almost died lol call me back”

They are really just arguing in the middle of the hospital tf?

I was standing right next to you....

why does he look like that

Rude ass tf?

Edgy moon

Tf she dreaming about

Wait so like he didn’t even start out with anything low key he just straight up fucking watched her sleep after knowing her a week

God why does he look like that. All the time

Poor mike oh my god

She’s lived here a week how does she already have plans conveniently the night of prom. Get a better excuse Bella

Recycled tea

Why is he so fucking creepy “what’s in Jacksonville” mf HOW you know

Rude ass again what the shit

Why would Bella care if you go to prom with mike, Jessica

“We shouldn’t be friends” no one said you were???

“Our bus is full” 💀

Call your fucking mother you asshole

Charlie don’t talk about Phil

She just walks tf out lmaoooo

How did anyone NEVER say anything about them NEVER eating lunch

La PUSH

He just bounced a fuckin apple

Stop being so cryptic what the fuck

“Let’s say for arguments sake that I’m not smart” bitch me too the fuck

“What if I’m... the villain” shut up you fucking emo oh my god

Come to the beach lol

This is all so awkward

Why did they like hardly ever show Angela

“You’re a strong independent woman” how do people think she’s straight

“The Cullen’s don’t come here” so fucking dramatic

“Yeah yeah whatever enough of you, what about the CULLENS”

Wait. How long have the Cullen’s been around? How long ago was the treaty made???

This music is so fucking dramatic

Oh no it’s Santa....

These bitches gay as fuck too James looks so fucking gay

How is it the entire time she’s trying to figure out the Cullen’s not ONCE does she question the quilietes being descended from FUCKING WOLVES

All these prom dresses boring as fuck

Like what the fuck even is that material

Jess is fucking... phat

“Sorry I don’t do prom dresses I just like really wanna go to this bookstore”

I don’t even want to know what would have happened if Edward didn’t come get her from these creeps...

She legit is about to get gang raped and like. No one ever said anything about this guys what the fuck

Why does Edward look like a fucking crack addict

“Sorry I just REALLY wanna murder these guys”

You should put YOUR seat belt on

“Yeah were gonna do everything that consists of a date but it’s not a date ok?”

No way that tiny bitch is gonna eat that whole ass plate

I’m gonna make sure YOU eat but I won’t alright?

Fucking math nerd

How DID he know she was there???

“I feel very protective of you even though I’ve known you for like less than a month”

He can read minds it’s no biggie

“Cat” bitch me too!!!

I can’t read YOUR mind tho sorry

Wait so why are certain vampires given gifts?

I don’t wanna stay away from you anymore lol

Ooooo our dads are here

“Animal attack” *GLARE*

“Idk what to say I’m so sorry”

Charlie STOP MY HEART IS FUCKING BREAKING

Animals are attacking and you give her pepper spray?

Why tf did they roll his whole ass body out in plain view why the hell was he not in a body bag!!!!

“Oh OKAY everything is starting to come together”

What is this dramatic dream where he’s all emo drinking her blood what the fuck is happening

“Follow me into the woods just trust me”

I don’t find it believable that he speaks like he’s from a different time. His dialect would change with time. Imagine him in 2018 fuckin yeet this and dab that lmaoooo

Why when he runs his legs move and nothing else

How fast are they even going

Diamonds are a girls best friend. And vampires.

“I’m a killer” on cool aha I’m just chillin alone in the woods with u haha no biggie

Why are you being so dramatic Edward

He just yeeted that fucking rock lol

“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone until you”

You’re my drug....

his voice is cracking me tf up

“I’m not afraid of you I’m afraid of losing you” you fucking emo

I want to die

I zoned out an all I heard was “sick masochistic lion” .... alright

Let’s just lay in the grass in the middle of the fucking woods it’ll be cute!!!

Do they just. Stare at each other and not talk...

Why do they use sound effects for his skin lmao

“My crush is a vampire lol ❤️”

What’s Monte Carlo

Everyone is staring lmaoooo

The siblings are not happy lmao

Why would you turn someone into a vampire like there is no logical reason to be like “you’re dying so I’m gonna make you live FOREVER”

They’re just chillin in the rain lmao

Literally tho like being a vampire would be pointless and fucking torture Jesus Christ why would you force that on a dying person

“Wanna meet the fam lol jk u have no choice”

The fucking stare down between Edward and Jacobs dad I’m fucking deceased

“Just keepin it real, son” broooo

Does anyone remember at one point in this series Edward and Jacob just fucking switched Bella off like what the shit was that was I just hallucinating

They cooked for her :(

How long has it been since they cooked

Esme is my soul mate

We NEVER use the kitchen

Jesus CHRIST Rosalie chill the FUCK out

Calm down you FUCKING drama queen

Please don’t kill me lol

Alice you Sapphic ass coming in on a fuckin tree branch

“Bella and I are gonna become great friends” does... does she KNOW. You know bc she can see the future

Alice is so cheery oh god

I too would be dramatic enough to frame all of my several graduation caps

I don’t... sleep

Like he doesn’t even need a chair like their legs never get tired. If they wanted to they could just stand every second of every day

Edward it is the 21st century catch up on the tunes, man

The face she made when he twirled her lmaooo

“I’ll MAKE you dance” .... alright

Why did they like. Move midair

This tree jumping shit just does not look scientifically accurate

“This kind of stuff just doesn’t exist” ... the woods?

Let’s sit in a fucking tree and just talk forever

I wonder who wrote the song Edward wrote. It’s actually... good???

Why is the footprint on top of this fucking mound of dirt lol

Hey hey you You I don’t like your boyfriend

I would kill for Charlie

No one like ACTUALLY questions why a HUMAN foot print is found in the murder scene

“Go SOCIALIZE”

He just fucking comes out of nowhere fuck

How much time does this movie take the course over “only the last couple months” ????

“There’s always something I wanted to try” *kisses bella* you gonna tell me you’re 100+ years old and a virgin???????

This kissing scene must have been so awkward

He just fucking. Zooms back into the wall

Does Charlie not hear any of this???

Edward. She needs to sleep bro

I’m sorry but if my partner never slept I would never sleep with them like don’t fucking watch me sleep the shit???

He just fucking loves his gun

What is he doing over his head ??

We’re just gonna play a family game of baseball lol

Charlie cares so much :(

Charlie doesn’t even question that they’re going to play baseball in a thunderstorm

The baseball scene is in my top iconic scenes in cinematic history

Why do they keep the field so small if they hit the ball so far ???

Emmet my fuckboy baby

When emmet and Edward collide. Iconic.

These gay ass Mfers and their dramatic entrances

Why is putting her hair up going to help. It’s not her hair they smell it’s her blood? Right??

Vampires just go around claiming territory??

All around America??

James knows

Why do they hiss....

The fucking Cullen clan all just bend their knees and hiss like what the shit

“I can buckle MYSELF Edward”

This all went 0-100 real quick

Edward step up your acting game. Monotone ass mf

Charlie is so fucking confused

What even is she grabbing

Ok but Charlie’s so supportive of her and like all he cares about is her being safe oh my god

And he never knows that she didn’t mean any of what she said :((((((

That would fucking kill me oh my god poor Charlie

When they land on her truck... where are they coming FROM...

“Her kind” ... gingers?

Rosalie has a point...

Laurent was just a third wheel

Why do they drive so fast

How the hell was Bella even going to explain this to her mom??? What was her plan.

James.... Jesus your fucking face...

How did he get into the high school

You fucking dumbass you just gonna. Fight a fucking vampire? What is her plan? Fight him? Show up and take her mom and get out???

Also how did she even sneak past Alice and jasper

Wait how did he get this video

You dumb as shit bitch!!!

You can’t fight a vampire the fuck!!!

Why is the part where James shoved Edward against the mirror so sexually tense

This whole fucking ballet studio scene is just too dramatic

Why is she convulsing tho. Is that how it is when you turn into a vampire??? You fucking have a seizure???

Alice fucking SNAPPED

This whole series could have ended right here if they just let her fucking change into a vampire right then and there

Shut the fuck up and suck, Edward

Why her face look like.... that

Carlisle just PUSH HIM

Why are the tubes like ON her eyeballs

Edward sleeping... ha

The whole falling down the stairs bullshit story is so fucking ridiculous lmaoooo

“You’re texting” this movie is so old

Which leg is broken???

I almost killed you lol sorry. Also get the fuck out of Forks

Bella: *insert lady from lipstick in valentino bag vine*

Ok so her right leg is in the cast but in the hospital she was chillin in the bed with her right leg bent?

Jacob where did you come from lmao

“My dad paid me to come talk to you”

“Also you need to break up with your boyfriend”

The instant tension between Edward and Jacob and Bella is so fucking oblivious

“The wolves descend” REALLY EDWARD

Was their senior prom ever mentioned in the series???

She’s so fucking short omg

This music: A++

No seriously what is with everyone’s dresses being so ugly

“I want you always” bitch you just met like 2 months ago???

Bella is so desperate for the dick that she wants to become a fucking vampire

She actually thought he was gonna bite her at prom lmao????

They kiss so awkwardly

Victoria looks so jealous

And hot

Where is she going

Oh it’s over ok cool gn

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 16: My Funny Valentine

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Note: I commissioned the incredible @soft-hart to draw the Valentine’s date. I am in awe. 

Pairing: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak

Located on Archive of our own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

Title - My Funny Valentine by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart (Listen to Ella Fitzgerald or Frank Sinatra Version)

Eddie hated Valentine’s Day with a passion. He thought for sure if he ever got into a relationship, his partner would agree it is a dumb pointless holiday. Except Eddie was not such a lucky person. Instead, he was dating the cheesiest, most dramatic person ever. Which meant they had to celebrate a holiday that was so sappy and gross it was not even romantic to him.

Richie basically guilt tripped him into celebrating Valentine’s Day. He claimed to be tired of their secret relationship and wanted to go on a real date out of town. Eddie understood those feelings and agreed their situation sucked. They were spoiled during the Vermont trip when they got to kiss, hold hands, and be a couple. Richie wanted to experience that freely again and so did Eddie. He tended to feel this overwhelming dread that Richie would leave him over their closeted relationship, so if he had to suffer the romance for a day to keep things fresh then he would.

Richie also pointed out that they will have been dating for 5 months exactly on February 14. Which seemed to be a cruel twist of fate for someone who hates Valentine’s Day. His main reason for disliking the holiday stems from the years his mother has endured being alone. He would make her Valentine’s Day gifts or bring her single flowers, but when she smiled her thanks it never reached her eyes. Apparently, his father really loved celebrating every holiday with as much flash as he could. Constantly embarrassing his mother but she loved all the same. He found it hard to believe she would tolerate that kind of behavior, except his aunts confirmed his father was a corny man.

Eddie snatched up the blank Valentine’s Day card he got his mother, trying to think of something to write. He had gone with Stanley and Bill to Mr. Keene’s pharmacy to pick out cards for their mothers. His two friends had the advantage of picking any generic card since they still had fathers who would pick up the slack of this stupid holiday. Eddie took longer trying to pick a nice one that would not hurt her feelings.

As they were browsing the cards, Eddie noticed Stanley take a second card and admire it with a side smile.

“Which are you going to buy?” Eddie asked curiously.

“What?” Stanley glanced at him in confusion.

Eddie pointed at the cards, “Which one are you giving your mom?”

“Oh, this one.” Stanley held up a card that read ‘Mom, Thank you for always being there. We both know you love me more than dad, just admit it.’

Eddie smiled, “Are you giving the second one to your dad?” Eddie reached for the card to read the inside but Stanley drew his hand away.

“No,” He said in embarrassment. Stanley was not someone who blushed often, but his cheeks were definitely rosy.

“Stan, are you b-blushin’?” Bill strolled over and pinched his cheek teasingly. Stanley smacked his hand away with a sneer.

“Don’t be like Richie.” He said seriously.

“Who is she?” Bill’s face was filled with giddy mirth as he ruffled Stanley’s curls, receiving another hand smack and a glare.

“Or he!” Eddie corrected Bill with a shove. “You should know better Big Bill.” Eddie tried to grab the card again except Stanley’s long arms extended out of his reach. He was attempting to put the card on the top shelf as far from Eddie as possible.

Bill managed to capture the card, Stanley tried to take it back, letting out an angry shout in the process. He handed it quickly to Eddie like they were kids playing a game of keep away.

“This isn’t funny! Stop guys!” Stanley yelled trying to reach around Eddie and get the card.

“Boys!” Mr. Keene’s voice came from the register. “Knock it off.”

Eddie looked at the front of the card. It had two cows gazing at each other with heart eyes. He opened the inside which read,‘You moooooove me’  The card was ripped out of his hands and Stanley put it back roughly. He was livid as he marched toward the register bought the other Valentine’s card and went outside. Eddie felt a bit guilty they had teased him. Even being best friends, Stanley was a pretty private person that got embarrassed easily. Eddie and him had the easily embarrassed part in common. Stanley usually hides it well, therefore, he must like this person a lot to have gotten so defensive.

Eddie grabbed the cow card and a blank one to write his own Valentine’s message for his mother later. He bought the two cards and headed outside where Stanley was standing alone.

“Stan?” Eddie had an idea of who the person might be. There is only one friend who would laugh at a farm animal valentine. Eddie was worried about pushing him with this new knowledge.

“What.” Stanley bit out. “Going to make fun of me more? Go ahead. It was stupid anyway.”

Eddie tentatively handed him the cow card. Stanley looked at it and his expression softened a little as he took it hesitantly. His eyes met Eddie’s warily, “You know who it is, don’t you.”

Eddie smiled encouragingly, “I think Mike would love it.”

“It’s for Mike?!” Bill yelled in surprise when he walked out of the store.

Stanley glared at Eddie, “Thanks for that. I hope Trashmouth makes you wear matching couples shirts and serenades you in front of a giant audience for Valentine’s Day. I know how much you LOVE public attention.”

Eddie laughed to himself thinking about how livid Stanley had been. When he tried to push the subject of Mike and him further, he shook his head saying it was complicated and to drop it.

For the morning of the dreaded holiday, Eddie’s biggest concern was figuring out how to convince his mother to let him leave the house. She had barely given him any freedom since he tried to come out. They had not spoken to each other, or rather, he would not speak to her. Not at dinner or after school, he avoided her whenever he was in the house. There was a guilt that washed over him when he saw her hurt eyes, but if she wouldn’t let him even say the word ‘gay’ then he would not say anything at all.

He decided to go the easiest route for escaping the house, which was to sneak out without her seeing. He would place the Valentine’s Day card on the table downstairs and walk directly out the door. Every part of him wanted to not write her anything but he knew how lonely she would feel when he was not home.

He quickly wrote down on the Valentine’s card, ‘No matter what we go through, I will love you. Even if we don’t understand each other, I will love you. If you stop loving me, I will still love you’. A little on the depressing side but that has been Eddie’s mood lately anyway.

It was 6:00 AM, an hour earlier than when his mother wakes up on weekends. He put a coat on over his pajamas, grabbed his boots, and backpack with the outfit he was wearing for the date. He tiptoed downstairs, as quietly as possible, put the Valentine’s card on the kitchen table, then carefully walked out the door.

When he arrived at Richie’s, he couldn’t decide whether to use the key Mrs. Tozier’s gave him or go through Richie’s bedroom window. If Mr. Tozier caught him, it would be a disaster. He decided to go the safe route and climb through the window. Richie had left it open a crack, probably just for him. Eddie threw the bag inside then hoisted himself into the first story room. He landed with a bit of a thump on the messy floor. Richie was snoring away, his gangly arms sprawled out covering almost the whole bed.

Eddie slipped out of his boots and coat, then crawled into bed with him. Richie’s body immediately latched onto Eddie’s warmth as if by instinct. He held him tight like a stuffed animal. Eddie put an arm around Richie’s shirtless torso, feeling butterflies in his stomach at the contact. Richie hugged him tighter, throwing his leg over him. His eyes were still closed, which meant he was either half awake or aggressively dreaming.

“Hey Rich?” Eddie whispered.

He only mumbled a little. Eddie decided on going to sleep instead of waking him up. When he did wake up for the second time that day, it was to lips being planted on every part of his face. The lips kissed both his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, and his neck. When he smiled sleepily, the lips moved to his mouth. They were minty, which meant Richie brushed his teeth just so he could kiss him good morning. Eddie didn’t open his eyes as he deepened the kiss, letting the feeling and smell of Richie engulf him. Richie’s hands moved under Eddie’s pajama shirt. His fingers were warm against his cold skin. Since Eddie was always freezing, this gave him goosebumps. He melted into the touch as Richie slowly traced small circles up and down his spine, making his skin tingle. Eddie rolled himself on top of Richie wanting to be as close as possible. He ran his hands through Richie’s hair receiving a satisfying moan from the man beneath him.

Eddie pulled out of the kiss to open his eyes. Richie looked disheveled but in a frustratingly beautiful way. “Morning, babe.” Eddie said groggily.

“You looked so cute, I had to wake you up and I am glad I fucking did.” Richie grinned goofily still running his hands across Eddie’s skin distractingly. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Eddie rolled off him and shoved his face into the pillow in anguish. “Ugh…don’t remind me.”

“Hey!” Richie poked his side making Eddie squirm. “You have to be receptive to all romantic shit I say to you today. That’s part of our deal.”

Eddie peeked an eye at him begrudgingly. “Fine. Happy Losertine’s Day, loser.”

Richie kissed the back of his neck, putting his hands low on Eddie’s back.  “My hands are cold. Can I stick them down your pants to warm them up?”

Eddie groaned into the pillow. “If I have to endure horrible pick up lines, I am going back to sleep.”

“How do you like your sausage in the morning… scrambled or blown?”

Eddie turned to him with a sly smile. He brought his hands to Richie’s sides and started tickling him. This immediately made him start howling with laughter and trying to wiggle away. “Have mercy, Eds!” Eddie moved his fingers quickly over Richie’s stomach, loving the barking laugh erupting from him. Richie got enough control over him to grab his hands and pin them above him. He hovered over Eddie with his legs on either side of him.

Eddie’s breathing became ragged as he saw the way Richie was looking at him. His eyes blown out and needy. Eddie licked his lips racking his eyes down and back up Richie’s body. This seemed to be the wrong thing to do because Richie let go of his hands and got off the bed.

Eddie looked at him in confusion, suddenly worried. “Are you ok? Did I…um…make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry.”

“Are you kidding me? You were being sexy as fuck just now. But I need to shower and we both have to get ready.”

Eddie rolled his eyes at being called sexy. Then he smirked as Richie went to open his bedroom door, towel, and clothes in hand.

“I think I’ll join you, Rich.”

Richie choked and sputtered looking at him in disbelief. “What?”

Eddie got off the bed and walked toward him, “I didn’t take a shower this morning either. So I’ll join you.” He pulled a barely breathing Richie out of the room and toward the bathroom.

Eddie got dressed in a nice button up light blue shirt with dark jeans. He wore the rainbow socks Richie got him as a joke a couple days ago and tied the laces of his nice snow boots that would cover them.

Richie wore a black v-neck that Eddie made him buy a couple weeks ago with jeans. Richie looked so attractive that Eddie wanted to kiss him some more. Then he put on a colorful Hawaiian button up. Eddie laughed and rolled his eyes.

“I can’t let you get too distracted by my sexiness with this v-neck.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows. “Gotta keep your head in the game.”

“What game?” Eddie laughed incredulously.

Richie got right up in his face, brought their lips so close they were brushing each other as he whispered, “The game of romance, my rosy redvine.”

Eddie whispered back, “We will lose that game because I hate romance.”

“I know it makes it more fun for me.” Richie smiled and kissed him quickly.

When they got outside, Richie opened the passenger door for him then ran to the driver’s side. He turned the heat on high and reached into his pocket to grab something. “Alright, put this on.” Richie handed him a bandana.

Eddie frowned at it in confusion. “Why am I wearing a bandana?”

“Like a blindfold!” He said excitedly.

Eddie sighed at Richie’s childishness. “For how long?”

“An hour.” He grinned.

Eddie groaned throwing the bandana in his face. “No. I don’t like surprises. You know that.”

“Awwww, come on Eddie! You said I could do as much romantic crap to you today as I want.”

Eddie pointed at him, “I said that on the condition I don’t get hurt or murdered.”

“I am not going to let you get hurt!” Richie whined.

“What about murdered?”

“Eddie! You are just going to sit in the car, with a blindfold on until we get to where we are going.”

Eddie looked at him defiantly then snatched the bandana back to tie around his eyes. “Fine, but you better have brought snacks. I didn’t have breakfast.”

“Do you even know me? I have to eat every two minutes.” Richie waved his hand in front of Eddie’s face and when he was satisfied that he couldn’t see, drove out of the driveway.

The hour ride was really relaxing for Eddie. Richie’s usual loud rock music was replaced by ballad love songs. Richie had bought him a giant chocolate bar that he was eating along with an orange. A very balanced breakfast.

He wouldn’t admit it, but not knowing where they were going was a little exciting. His imagination was coming up with a ton of possibilities.

“Amusement park?” He guessed.

“We don’t have any within an hour near us, fool.”

“Fancy restaurant?”

Richie scoffed, “With my invisible money, yes.”

Eddie huffed out and decided to yell out a silly possibility, “One of those Gay Pride parades.”

Richie laughed, “No. But what we are doing can be considered gay.”

“How so?”

“Because we are together.”

Eddie tried to hit him but since he couldn’t see, missed and hit the stereo making the music skip a beat. Richie laughed at him putting his arm out so Eddie could hit him for real. Which he did. “I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Please do.”

When Richie finally parked at their mysterious place and let Eddie take his blindfold off, he was super confused. He got out of the car and the cold was even harsher than Derry.

“Are we closer to the coast?” Eddie took in their surroundings. It was a nice town with buildings similar to Derry’s but way more shops and people milling about.

“Nope! We are by Kennebec River.” Richie said gleefully.

“In Augusta? Our state’s capital?” Eddie spun to look at his thrilled boyfriend. “That’s so random.”

“I did research. It’s like the second most accepting gay-friendly city in the state.” Richie took in the town with a huge smile.

“You did research?” Eddie looked at him impressed. “Where’s the first?”

“Portland, Maine. But that’s about 2 and a half hours from Derry.”

“So we are in a gay-friendly town because…” Richie took Eddie’s hand, kissed it and pulled him along.

Eddie was in shock. Richie really did just want to spend a day as a normal couple. Walk around holding hands and freely kissing each other when they wanted too.

As they walked around the shops, there were tons of couples out and about. They were all straight but no one really cared when Eddie put his arm around Richie’s waist. Some people even smiled as Richie placed his own around Eddie’s shoulders and kissed the side of his face.

They found a sweet little cafe to eat at with decent prices. Eddie held Richie’s hand the whole time, which made it hard to eat his burger, not that Richie cared. Eddie paid, much to Richie’s protesting, but the boy had been paying for them too much all day.

They strolled through downtown Augusta and got to the river. Eddie stood by the edge listening to the quiet flow of the water. He was thinking about how easy today had been, none of the usual stress of being together. Any nerves about their relationship practically non-existent. It was like a dream he never wanted to be woken from. Unlike Derry, the nightmare he is trapped in.

Richie came up behind him, hugging him right below his belly button. Even through all the layers, he was wearing, he felt his body immediately heat up. Richie put his lips by his ear, nibbling at it lightly, “What are you thinking about, my tasty Toblerone.”

“Whether you will ever run out of candy nicknames.” Eddie retorted quickly.

“Nope, never going to happen.” Richie kept kissing him languidly.

Eddie sighed still staring deeply at the water, wondering if he could throw himself into its icy depths before letting slip what he was actually bothering him. “I’m thinking about the only thing I ever think about.”

“Me?”

He refused to answer because giving Richie the satisfaction of hearing yes was not worth the teasing. Richie turned Eddie around still keeping his arms securely on him. He moved his hands in the back pocket of Eddie’s jeans.

Eddie placed his arms on Richie’s shoulders with a smirk, “Are your hands cold? Or are you grabbing my ass?”

“Can it be both?” Richie leaned their foreheads together.

Eddie’s eyes refused to meet Richie’s. He played with his scarf absentmindedly, trying to ignore any insecurities and fears threatening to surface. He wanted to stay in this moment and trying to push his worry aside, but all he ever does is worry. “I’m thinking about how I wish every day was like this.”

Richie shrugged unconcerned, “It can be or, rather, it will be.”

Eddie played with the zipper on Richie’s jacket. He honestly wished his mouth would cease speaking his mind sometimes. Except the words started tumbling out before he could prevent them. “Does it bother you that we can’t be publically out?” He flinched a little at his own pathetic question.

“Yes.” Richie said immediately making Eddie’s stomach clench. “And no.”

He sighed miserably, “What does that mean?”

Richie dug his forehead into Eddie’s harder, which made him look up and concentrate on his words. “Yes, because I want us to be our true selves. No, because as long as I am with you it doesn’t really matter.”

Eddie’s heart soared and he tried to hold back the tears of happiness that threatened to fall. “I love you so much, you know that right?”

“I love you too, Eds.” Richie went to kiss him but he pulled away making Richie chase his lips a little.

He giggled at the boy’s ridiculousness. “Like I love you with every wheezing breath I take.” They both laughed.

“I love you with all my blindness.” Eddie brought his lips forward to kiss him gently. He retracted one of his hands and reached into his pocket for something. He took out a small black stringed up bag.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe.” Richie removed his hands to open the bag. Inside was a silver chain necklace. On the end of it were two letters, E and R. Richie put it around his neck trying to lock it on.

“Help.” He groaned. “My fingers are too big.”

Eddie laughed, took his gloves off and went behind Richie to hook the necklace. When he got it on, he went back to facing Richie placing his hand over the necklace that lined up perfectly with his heart.

“So you know I am always close to your heart.”

“Oh Eds,” They stared at each other. “Don’t you know by now? You are my heart.”

Eddie thought his brain would burst at those words. He was absolutely speechless. Richie was cheesy and inappropriate and yet perfect in every way. Eddie did the only thing he could think of. He kissed him hard. Richie was surprisingly slow to get into the kiss but laughed at the enthusiasm. He all but whimpered when Eddie licked his bottom lip, eliciting a moan from Eddie.

“Can we go to your car?” Eddie said desperately. Richie did not respond, he just grabbed his arm and pulled Eddie along.

When Richie parked in his driveway after dropping Eddie off, he put his hand over his smiling lips trying to calm himself down. He was on cloud nine from how incredible their day had been. His heart was pounding and stomach fluttering just how he used to feel at the beginning of their relationship. It seemed miraculous that Eddie could make him feel so light and wonderful.

He got out of the car and ran toward his house and unlocked the front door. He planned to brush his teeth and go to bed immediately because he was so tired. Although, with how much adrenaline he was on, he wondered if he would be able to sleep at all.

He opened the door to his father sitting on the couch watching television. Richie rolled his eyes out of habit and strolled right past him.

“Richard.”

He wanted to keep walking. The last thing he needed was his father to ruin the best day. Except instead of continuing toward his room, he stopped. There was something menacing in his father’s speaking voice that always made him listen to him. Even if his father said he never listened, Richie always did.

“I’m tired.” Richie replied loudly. The louder his voice, the angrier he could make the man.

“We need to talk.” He said sternly.

“Wentworth,“ Richie sighed deeply. "I really don’t care what you want to talk about with me right now.”

“Look at me, young man.”

He crossed his arms, thinking he would ignore the request and go to bed. After their conversation, he certainly wished he had.

Richie turned around as annoyingly slow as he could. His father was holding up a small piece of paper. Richie squinted his eyes, even with his strong prescription, seeing was not his forte. He walked toward him slowly then froze. His throat dried up and his stomach felt like it was going to extricate the burger he ate that afternoon. The best meal of his life because he was holding Eddie’s hand the whole time was about to betray him.

Because in his father’s hand was not just a piece of paper.

It was a photo.

A photo of him and Eddie kissing as if no one else in the world was there.

Mature Ending

By @slashpalooza

@dandeliontozier @sam-i-am2468 @reddie-brasil @takemetothetide @ohheydatsme @slashpalooza @averym14 @fucking-reddie

[the-barrens-are-ours]

I was looking at that 2015 IT script where Richie’s like hella gay and Pennywise tells him not to touch Eddie after he breaks his arm because the Losers might find out his secret or whatever, and I thought about the scene in the movie where Richie found his missing poster, and then it got me wondering: how terrible would it be if Pennywise turned into the Losers as their worst fears

For Eddie, he sees Richie, but it’s not the Richie he knows and loves. There’s no goofy smile, glint of mischief in his eyes, and no witty comments on his lips, no. Instead, all Eddie can see is the absolute disgust and repulse on Richie’s face because he found out about Eddie’s feelings towards him

Ben sees Beverly, and in her hands, she holds the postcard with the poem on it he sent her. When Ben sees her, his heart begins to race faster than usual. Does she know that he wrote the card? Does she feel the same about him? When Bev looks at him though, she just looks at him pitifully, saying maybe if he wasn’t fat he’d actually have friends who cared about him, and maybe she would love him in return

Stan sees Mike, one of the most caring and compassionate men he’s ever seen, turn on him, angry. He’s yelling at Stan in absolute furry about how annoying his obsessive habits are. The way he always has to straighten things, how he hates being dirty, how he will repeat certain actions until he gets it just right. All these things he has no control over, and they’ve become the stake driven between him and all the people he cares about

Beverly sees Bill, Ben, and Richie, the three closest people she has ever had in her life. Pennywise switches between the three of them, making them change from looking down at her in disgust to pity. They know about her father, they say. They know what he’s done to you. They say they know she’ll always be his little girl, and they turn their backs on her

Mike sees Bill, one of the few kids to have ever not only shown Mike any form of kindness, but to have also stood up for and protected him. Mike would have gladly followed Big Bill into the depths of hell with a smile on his face any day because he loves him, but when he runs into this Bill, he turns on him. Pennywise’s Bill strikes Mike down to the ground in a manner not unlike Henry Bowers. Bill yells at Mike who is in fear on the ground, that he’ll never be anything more than an outcast, and who could possibly love an outcast like him

Richie sees Stan, his best buddy and one of the greatest friends a guy could ask for. But, Stan doesn’t see him. Richie shouts Stan’s name, but he doesn’t hear it. He doesn’t acknowledge Richie in any way no matter how hard he tries. He just. Can’t. Get. His attention. It’s just like he’s forgotten Richie ever existed at all. It’s like they all have

For Bill, he sees all of them, but no where near how they ever should have looked. As Pennywise shifts from one of Bill’s friends to the next, all Bill can see is the dead and decaying faces of the Losers. Each one of them telling Bill how weak and pathetic he is. How could he, a stuttering fool who isn’t even loved by his parents, possibly avenge the brother he lost because he failed him? He thought he could beat IT, but his actions got them all killed, and it’s all. Bill’s. Fault.

Georgie, though not a true member of the Losers Club, still sees Billy, the greatest big brother in the world. Though, he’s not acting like one anymore. Instead, he’s furious at Georgie for losing the dumb paper boat he made for him, and as Bill’s eyes turn yellow and his mouth opens to reveal the endless rows of teeth within them, Georgie hears the voice of Pennywise in his head telling him Bill’s gonna kill him

[stars-open-among-the-lilies]

A few years ago I stumbled upon a post written by someone who claimed she had been a friend of Layne that also happened to have a crush on him. It’s probably – almost certainly – a fake, but at the time it really struck me and inspired me to write a piece from the POV of this girl named Koa. I still have to translate my fanfiction but, in the meantime, I’ll put her original message under a “read more”, so I can link this to my writing and have this on my blog for me to read every once in a while. If anybody wants to read it: it’s long and there are a few passages that can annoy people who adore Demri or Jerry, so you’ve been advised.  I know that in my heart I just really hope this is somewhat true, that Layne could experience some kind of closure with an individual who didn’t want to exploit him... that’s all.

“First of all, please forgive my anonymity. I was anonymous when I knew Layne and there were lots of reasons for that. I don't know why I chose here, maybe I need to vent or maybe I just want to share a little bit of the truth as I perceived it. (Doubtlessly there are some people who were there at these times and knew things differently. It's the nature of things and I think that this is dictated by how we feel about certain people.)

I knew Layne circa '94 - '99, Demri circa '96 right before she died. I see a lot of conjecture and guessing about the nature of these relationships and it’s bugged me for years. I’m not jumping on this now just because our wonderful Layne is gone as much as because of the conjecture.

Back in '93 - early '94 Layne was seeing this dipshit model who did more harm to him than good. She was wicked to him but Layne was being a dumb kid and he just wanted to date a model, he said to himself when it was over. She wasn’t making a lot of money back then, but she did manage to get a lot of his. She had talked him into putting a lot of big purchases in her name. They broke up around spring - summer '94, or maybe even earlier. It was hard to tell because as many times as he said it was over, she was still going around town telling everyone that they had gotten married.

Layne later said that Demri wasn’t too bothered by this, but I didn’t know her then. Actually I was bothered by it though. ;) I was only then getting to know Layne and I liked him a lot. I was jealous of the model dipshit and I hated her. *sigh*

When they cancelled the '94 tour it was because Layne was afraid. He really freaked out over Kurt a few months before that. He’d had a close call and he didn’t think that he’d be able to stay clean on the road with that lifestyle. At the time, Jerry was very understanding and more than supportive to Layne. They were less like brothers than like a weird married couple. I’m not saying they were gay, lol! But they just often acted like a married couple.

Jerry was REALLY different back then. He loved Layne more than anything, I think even more than Courtney sometimes (Courtney as you all know was Jerry’s on - off gf.) At least, Layne came first. I think Jerry really was sincere, too, at least back then.

I’m not totally sure when that started to change. When they began the KISS tour, Layne had been clean for a (relatively) long time, but I remember he was very scared to leave. He didn’t seem to want to do it because he had a bad feeling about it. He fretted and fretted. One of his friends told him that he’d had an image of Layne trapped in an airplane as it filled with smoke (what a thing to say!) and Layne almost backed out then, but the others talked him into it. He had someone call a psychic for him to make sure that he would be okay.

Layne was okay until the last night of the tour. Personally, I have no idea exactly what happened, but I got a lot of stories. Layne was always really quiet about it. One of his more moronic friends told me that he had actually died, but what little I did get from Layne told me this wasn’t true. He always kept saying that he had “slipped”. Most of what everyone heard then was nonsense. I know he did get an infection because of his very, very stupid way of not looking after things. He became sort of ashamed and let it go longer than he should have. That’s where all the “gangrene” rumors started. He went into rehab after that. Then there was some stuff with his mother that I just can’t share here. Suffice to say that she got the wrong ideas about some things, Layne was hurt by her assumptions and they parted ways for a while.

I understand that Jerry started doing cocaine again around this time. Mind, I never knew him entirely well and I never saw him do it, but it’s what people were saying. Layne was trying to quit EVERYthing at this time (he even attempted quitting smoking) and Sean was still bringing pot around everytime they would get together. Jerry started to stay away from Layne though.

By '96 or so, Jerry was fed up with Layne’s fear of touring. Layne had admitted that he was mostly finished with show business. From then on, he said, he just wanted to do art and make music for his friends. Jerry loved the rock star lifestyle and didn’t want to give it up and he was pissed at Layne. But he never said so outright. Jerry would make these stupid, hazily spiteful remarks like “we’re standing by Layne” and “I love him anyway”. Who wants to be loved “anyway”? And the thing was that Layne was really bouncing back at this time. In spite of all the rumors he WAS clean. He was getting more and more into one of his favorite hobbies too, which was anime (which he helped get me into. Thank you again, Layne. :D ) His anime of choice back then was Vampire Princess Miyu.

Late '96, Demri started backsliding and this was around when I finally met her. Now whether or not Layne ever knew just how much I liked him, I don’t know, but Demri knew. We got along at first. Demri was sweet and helpful and fun. Then she moved in with Layne because she had nowhere else to go. They weren’t dating at the time, just sharing the apartment. Layne had told her that if she started using drugs again he’d have to make her leave. But Demri did start using drugs again, and instead of asking her to leave, because then she would really be in trouble, Layne took a hike. I don’t know where he went though, and even the people who he rented from thought he was still living there. He just didn’t tell anyone that he was leaving.

Demri made a mess of the house and the living situation in Layne’s absence. She turned really different, and believe me when I say that she was not truly the person that she was becoming. When she was herself she was a very sensitive and fun girl. Around October 20th or so she made some phone calls and wrote some letters to some people. Sparing the details, I ended up having a stupid fight with her about Layne. I was somewhat envious of her because Layne always seemed to forgive her each time, and there is something TO that, but at the same time I felt I was right; she was making a mess of things and she was in big trouble. She said something to me, I said something back, and that was it. When I spoke to Layne I was pissed off and crying, and told him what was going on at the house, but he pretty much already knew. That’s when he came back and Demri left.

Demri died on Oct. 29th of '96 of a heroin overdose. She was made weaker by the fact that she’d contracted heart problems from the use of dirty and used cotton when she used heroin. At 26 she was wearing a pacemaker. I remember a few months after she got the pacemaker that certain “friends” of Layne’s were blaming her illness on him. Why? Because she’d been staying at his apartment at the time that she got sick (when he had gone on tour) and, according to them, he hadn’t thought to leave her enough money to buy new bags of cotton for, what, ninety nine cents? Just how much sense does that make? She had her own connections for buying heroin and she could afford that, but it was LAYNE’S fault that she got sick b/c he hadn’t bought her cotton before he left. This is the kind of ridiculous talk he put up with from people who claimed to like him.

Right before Demri died she had been about to move to Hawaii with her father (or stepfather, I forget which.) She was also seeing this new guy that her family hadn’t met. He was a coke dealer. She went out one night with the new bf of hers and she had shot heroin before they left. They went down to QFC and he asked her to wait in the car while he ran into the store to buy a few things. When he came out, he assumed that she was asleep. He drove around town for a while after that not even aware that Demri was dying in the passenger seat. By the time he tried to wake her she was in a coma. That was the night of the 28th. Demri didn’t die till the morning of the 29th, in her mother’s arms at the hospital. I think that Layne always sort of blamed himself for not looking after her, because she did need looking after. Nice she was, but not very independent. Demri never grew up. I have some copies of her poetry. She once called herself “an alien waiting for a ride home”.

Around '97, Layne had moved to the U Dist. He hardly ever saw Jerry anymore, but Mike Inez was still kind of close with him. As for Mike Starr, if you’re wondering, he was living in a crappy old apartment (same building that I used to live in) with his father. One night he and his father were shooting heroin together and his father OD’ed. He lived through it, but they were kicked out of the apartment. Gah, Mike Starr was a weird one. I never met him, but that’s according to people who did. (At the time, Layne didn’t know what happened with MS. I’d heard it from one of the people I knew who also lived there.)

Jerry was totally dogging out then. He seemed to think that because he never shot heroin he was better than Layne. Jerry did do some heroin but he was all about coke, girls, money and fame. I started to dislike him then. You know what he was like? He was like Layne’s pimp, only he couldn’t get Layne to work. Layne was tired of it and didn’t want to do it anymore, and Jerry became very devious in his words and his actions. He’s a different person on coke. He walks around flipping his hair and trying to hump everything he thinks might have a vagina. He’s got this “I’m Jerry Cantrell and you’re not” sort of attitude. He started doing this whole big martyred thing in the press – “I’m standing by Layne, even though it’s making me sufferrrrrrr!” but in private he was slipping the knife in. God. Just thinking about it. >:(

Around '98, Mark Lanegan was living with Layne. Mark and Layne were really cool together. Lanegan was struggling to quit heroin and I would swear to this day that he’s here because of Layne. Layne helped him a lot in a lot of ways. He was always fighting someone else’s battle when he thought he had his beat. Lanegan was really sick for a while and Layne was like a Florence Nightingale. Oh lord, the jokes... ;D They would go out together and a lot of people thought they were gay. Which didn’t bother them though because they took it like one big joke. “Yeah we're gay, wanna join us?” LOL!

I just don’t know what happened after '98 - '99. Things were mellow, Layne was doing really well. He had his cats and a nice place to live and his art and his hobbies. I know that he was at Jerry’s '98 Halloween concert, and had thought about making an appearance there. He was dressed as a monster that night and no one recognized him.

I don’t know what happened after '99. I left Seattle because I was very stupidly stuck on Layne and I knew that probably nothing was going to come of it. I looked a little bit like Demri back then and I always had the feeling that Layne was a little weirded out by that. He only ever made one reference to the fact though, and that was after she was gone.

I moved thousands of miles away, he changed his email address and, though we spoke on the phone a few times since then it was only about little things. During this year I hadn’t heard a thing. But then I was never much more than a witness.

For Layne to die was just sad and wrong, but for him to die alone was just an abomination. By blaming Jerry and the rest of Layne’s “friends” I also have to blame myself for moving so far away and losing touch. On the other hand I also don’t flatter myself that I could have done something for him; I just don’t know if I was that important. But I will say this: Jerry saw this coming. Now you may say that he was just fed up with waiting for Layne to find solid ground once and for all, and I could totally understand that, but you’d be missing the point. Jerry’s almost entirely about money, or at least he was 3 years ago. I’m sure that he’s sad, I’m sure he feels it. But god, if he isn’t just a little gratified also. Jerry always had this “I told you so” thing going on. When Layne would relapse or even admit to weakness in the last few years that I knew them Jerry would get very patronizing and very smug. I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand the man. I hate the way he made people feel, so worthless and small.

I’m sorry, Layne. I made myself get over my stupid feelings for you because I had to, and when I did that I also got over my frustration with the fact that everytime I defended you I had to hide behind anonymity and lose credibility. I never told anyone that I knew you and you used to tell me “don't let it bother you. It’s just talk.” And things like that. I always had faith in you though.

I remember looking out your window at the docks one time while you were on the computer, and I was making you listen to some stupid old song because I thought it was cool. You were making fun of it and you crooned the line “you are so superduper bravissimo” to me like the big goofball that you were. Layne, I was yours for the asking, but you never asked.

That’s all I wanted to say. Maybe I’ll find a little peace now even without credibility, just like you always thought was possible. Don’t forget me though and please continue to be my angel; I know there’s enough of you to go around for everyone.

I love you still, sweetheart, and I’m so sorry.

Always, your brave Koa.”

[itsreddiebitch]

It Started With A Rose

One Valentine's Day Eddie gets a rose from a not so secret admirer. What Eddie didn't know was that rose would change his life forever.

Valentine's Day through the years.

Eddie was thirteen when he received his first rose. It was February 14th, the day of love. The school was decorated with hearts. The afternoon sun reflected off the floating hearts. Pink and red colors danced on the walls. The people of Derry liked to celebrate every holiday with as much enthusiasm as the one before it. Stores were selling heart-shaped chocolates and roses were seen at every shop. Eddie was not a big fan of roses, well, flowers in general. His mother made him believe he was allergic to them. For years he kept hand sanitizer in his fanny pack whenever he came in contact with flowers. After that fateful summer, he began to rethink the things his mother told him. Yet, he still carried it around with him just in case.

Even with the excitement of the holiday, it felt like a normal day to Eddie. Beverly gave all the losers their own chocolates, much to the displeasure of Bill and Ben. Richie thanked her with a kiss on the cheek, while Eddie gave her a hug. Other than Bev, no one else gave Eddie chocolates or flowers. He did not really mind. He was thirteen so he didn’t expect to get much. Class continued like normal until his third period. One of the students came in with a basket of roses. The roses were a deep red and looked freshly cut. Every year people could purchase roses to send to other students. Many girls received them and would look around the room at which girl had the most. Eddie wasn’t paying attention as they began hanging them out until someone stood in front of his desk.

“For you.” The girl smiled down at Eddie and for a second his heart dropped at the thought of her giving him one. He soon realized his mistake since she was handing them out to others as well. Eddie looked up at the girl confused.

“Are you sure?” The girl said nothing and placed the rose on the desk before moving on to the next person. Eddie examined the rose in front of him. The thorns were cut, leaving no chance of being pricked. A small note was attached to the rose, connected by a pink ribbon. Eddie looked around the room before opening the note. He had no clue why this rose would be addressed to him. He felt nervous as he opened the note. However, his excitement died as quickly as it started.

“Roses are red Violets are Blue I fucked your mom And I ain’t sorry too”

The bell rang letting students know the class was over. He knew exactly who would send such a dumb ass note.

“Are you fucking kidding me Trashmouth?” Eddie came up to Richie’s locker, smoke coming out of his ears. To say he was angry would be an understatement. He was furious. The rest of his friends began to appear to watch what would happen. Richie looked down at Eddie with a big grin on his face. “You didn’t like my poetry Eds? It was really meant for your mom. Could you give it to her when you get home?” Ben looked at Richie curiously when he mentioned poetry.

“Let me see.” Ben took the note from Eddie. He wanted to see what type of poetry Richie wrote. It did not take him long to look back up at Richie with an annoyed look. Beverly looked at the note next and rolled her eyes.

“Really Richie? You did the whole roses are red, violets are blue cliché?” Beverly laughed before handing the note to Bill. Richie smirked in her direction before putting on his terrible British accent.

“Beverly darling you know I would pour my heart out for you if I could. Perhaps Ben can write the next one for me?”

“Beep beep Richie.” Ben blushed and refused to look Beverly in the eye. He played with his hands trying to calm down. Eddie took this as an opportunity to push the rose into Richie’s hand.

“If you want her to have it so bad, give it to her yourself.” Eddie wasn’t sure why he felt so angry about it. Richie always joked about Eddie’s mom. He would get made but nothing compared to this. He felt embarrassed that for a second he thought maybe someone would be interested in him. However, he would never admit that to any of his friends. The bell rang once more signaling for the kids to go to class. Each loser said a quick goodbye before departing, leaving Eddie and Richie alone.

“Actually, it’s for you Eds. It smells great.” Richie was serious this time. He smiled shyly at the smaller boy who did not understand Richie’s intentions.

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie took the flower from Richie’s hand before walking away. He turned around right before walking into the classroom. Eddie pointed a finger at Richie before yelling. “Don’t ever try that shit again or I will skin you.” Eddie disappeared into the classroom leaving a laughing Richie staring back at him lovingly.

“Whatever you say Eddie Spaghetti.”

The next time Eddie gets a rose he is starting his first year of high school. All the losers were excited to start a new chapter in their lives. While it may be with the same kids as they grew up with, they still found excitement in this new school. Bev made a deal with her aunt to attend school in Derry but spend breaks in Oregon. This kept the losers club alive and well. Beverly was always smarter and wiser than the rest of them. She called it women’s intuition. The first few months of high schools had been hectic. Many of the losers still dealt with bullying and new hormonal changes. Eddie was no exception. He found that he was fighting with his mother almost every day. He began to refuse to take the pills she would always leave by his bed. Eddie would go over to Bill whenever he needed to talk about it or his issues with sexuality. Richie would always tease him about talking with Bill saying that Eddie was replacing him. He wasn’t really but Richie was beginning to change. Eddie felt that the teasing from Richie was more consistent and instead of only talking about kissing his mom he was talking about kissing Eddie too. Eddie should have been disgusted by that, but he wasn’t.

When February 14 rose its ugly head once more, Eddie did not think it would happen again. They began delivering the roses in fourth period, the class him and Richie shared. Eddie watched from the corner of his eye as Richie began to receive roses. When did he get so popular? It was one, no two, no three. Richie had three roses. Eddie felt his mood drop. He shrugged it off, he was probably jealous of Richie.

“What you got there Eds?” Richie motioned towards Eddie’s desk. He didn’t even realize that he received one as well. Eddie looked to see a red rose, like the one he received last year. A note was also attached. He looked at Richie who pretended to ignore Eddie and listen to the lecture. Eddie opened the note, not surprised by who sent it to him.

“Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like spaghetti Let’s get it on” Eddie snapped his head over to Richie who could barely hold in his laughter. If they were not in a classroom Eddie would already have Richie in a choke hold.

“That doesn’t even rhyme dumb ass.”

“It’s funny though. Get it, Eddie Spaghetti.” Eddie couldn’t help but blush at Richie’s comment. It was dumb and stupid. The poem did not even rhyme. However, what Richie was implying in the poem was what made him blush the most. Even though Richie liked to joke, it seemed like his teasing was getting more sexual as they got older. He was always crude but not directly at Eddie. It made Eddie feel weird about Richie. He didn’t dislike Richie but he also felt a pain in his heart whenever Richie flirted with a girl in front of Eddie. He would always blame it on jealousy. Eddie never dated or even kissed a girl. Richie already had his own rumors going around and roses to prove it. One student who was giving out the roses came back into the room and handed Richie one last rose.

“Sorry, forgot one.” Richie looked at Eddie with a smirk before reading the note. His smile quickly dropped as he read the words out loud.

“Fuck you. -Eddie.”

Eddie was sixteen. He was slowly but surely understanding who he was. Those awkward feelings about changing in the locker room and not feeling attracted to girls became clear now. He was gay. Eddie told Beverly first before anyone. He knew she would be the one to empathize and understand him the most. She had helped him the last few years with understanding why he was feeling the way he did. Eventually, he told Bill who did not seem to mind one bit. Eddie was glad that his best friend would support him no matter what. He didn’t want to announce it to the whole group so he told the rest of the losers individually. Stan seemed to not care and Ben was eager to talk about poetry and music more with Eddie. Eddie figured Ben saw him as one less contender for Beverly to choose from. Mike patted him on the back, saying there was nothing wrong about it. Richie, however, was another story. Eddie never really had the conversation with him. He didn’t know why but Richie made him nervous. Richie was a free spirit so Eddie knew he wouldn’t be rude about it. Yet, Eddie worried that the teasing and touching would stop. He felt that if he let Richie know, he would lose the physical connection they shared. Valentine’s Day came around again and he felt nervous. His mom asked him if he was going to give a rose to any pretty girl. Eddie lied and said he had one in mind. Eddie knew how his mom felt about gay people. She thought it was a disease and seemed to be worried Eddie would catch it one day. Eddie even got a playboy magazine from Mike to hide under his bed so he could keep the façade going. College would be his escape. Eddie pondered on the idea of sending Richie a rose this year. He didn’t want it to seem weird considering that he was out to his friends now. He could always make a funny one like he did last year. Richie’s face was priceless when he opened that note.

“I’d like to send one please.” Eddie gave the girl on the other side of the table a dollar before taking a pen and writing the note for Richie.

“Got someone special in mind?” The girl smiled at him from where she sat. He was surprised she would ask him a question. This year was the year that Eddie decided to grow out his hair a bit. The well-kept straight hair he once had was very curly and long now. His mother tried and tried again to get him to cut it but he liked it that way. It reminded him of his favorite Trashmouth. Eddie smiled back before letting out an awkward laugh.

“Yeah, it’s just an ongoing joke though.”

“Well, I am sure anyone is lucky to get a rose from you.” The girl was so bold Eddie couldn’t help but blush. He smiled and said his goodbyes before walking away from the table. Even though he felt no attraction for the girl, it felt nice to be hit on by someone other than Richie.

“Are you cheating on me?” Eddie turned to see Richie leaning on one of the lockers. Unlike Eddie, Richie’s hair stayed the same length but his baby face from childhood was gone. Richie now had a sharp jawline that made him look handsome. His arms and legs grew longer making him a giant compared to Eddie. He would still wear his glasses but would also wear sunglasses as well. The way he leaned on the lockers made Eddie’s heart jump.

“No, she was just being nice. Were you there the whole time?” Richie smiled before putting his arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“Of course Eds. You know how jealous I can be.” Eddie felt his pulse quicken at the word jealous. He knew Richie was only kidding but he couldn’t help but wish it wasn’t a joke. They continued to walk down the hallway, Richie’s arm still hung on Eddie. A girl stopped in front of them, blocking the hallway.

“Hey Richie, can I ask you something?” Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe as he watched the girl look him up and down. Did she know Eddie was gay? Was he making it too obvious? Shit, someone could tell his mom and it would be all over. Eddie quickly moved away from Richie, trying to act normal. However, Richie looked at him confused and frustrated.

“Yeah sure, I’ll see you later Eds.” Eddie smiled and quickly left not bothering to correct Richie. Eddie was acting really weird. He hated it. He had developed a crush on Richie and accepted that in the beginning of the year but it only seemed to be getting worse. Eddie looked back to see the girl move closer to Richie. He turned away before entering the classroom. Just like the year before, a student came with a basket of roses. Eddie was ready to read another one of Richie’s stupid poems. The student began passing them out and Eddie noticed not one rose was coming his way. Panic consumed him as the last rose was given to a girl three seats back. Maybe they forgot, just like how they almost forgot Eddie’s rose for Richie last year. Maybe this was the year Richie decided to stop. Maybe Richie didn’t like the idea of giving roses to a fag. More negative thoughts continued to pop up in Eddie’s head. He didn’t even bother to pay attention to the class because his mind wouldn’t let him.

“Shit Richie is going to get my rose and read the note.” Eddie covered his face in embarrassment as he thought of how the taller boy would make fun of him. Having a crush on Richie Tozier sucked ass. The class ended and Eddie gathered his things. He felt left out without a rose to carry in his other hand. He let out a frustrated sigh before heading out into the hallway. He didn’t expect to see Richie standing outside the door holding the rose Eddie got him. Eddie felt his face turn red as he tried to ignore Richie and walk down the hall.

“No so fast Eddie Spaghetti. We need to talk.” Eddie felt his hand being held by Richie’s. Eddie refused to look at Richie in the eye until he came to a stop outside of school. Eddie really didn’t want to have this conversation. Richie would be all awkward letting Eddie down easy and Eddie would try and say it was all good even though it wasn’t.

“Okay, can we get this over with.” The negative thoughts began to creep back into his mind. Richie doesn’t want to give roses to a fag. Eddie is a fag. Richie hates it. He hates him.

“I wanted to give you this in person.” All thoughts stopped as Richie handed him a rose. Eddie looked up at Richie in shock. Richie didn’t forget. Richie didn’t hate him. Eddie took the rose from Richie’s hand, smelling the familiar aroma. It was stronger than the roses before. Eddie opened the note.

“Roses are Red Violets Are Blue You have stolen my heart Can I steal yours too?”

“This isn’t funny Richie.” Eddie’s heart swelled at the note in front of him. He wanted to believe the words but was scared. This could be another joke.

“It’s not a joke this time Eds.” Richie’s nerves began to show and he clung to the other rose in his hand. It was a strong but careful grip so Eddie’s flower would not fall apart. Eddie felt overjoyed by Richie’s words. Could he like Eddie back? Eddie took Richie’s hand and lead him to a nearby tree. He took a risk and leaned up to kiss Richie. It was a short kiss, enough to get the point across. When Eddie opened his eyes, he was welcomed by a smiling Richie.

“You can have it.” Eddie looked down at the grass. He couldn’t believe what he just did and said. This was something so new but it felt like it was meant to be. No girl or anyone could make him feel the way that Richie made him feel.

“Good and I am not letting anyone else have it. Now let’s get some milkshakes to celebrate.” Richie wrapped his arm around Eddie and lead the boy to their bikes. Eddie felt excited. Maybe college would not be the only new beginning to look forward to. As they mounted their bikes, Eddie thought back to his rose that he gave Richie.

“Thank you for helping me be me. You are my one and only Trashmouth.” -Eddie

Junior year came with a lot of firsts. First relationship, first fight, first makeout, and first love. Eddie felt like he had been preparing his whole life to have a love like this. Nothing really changed between them. They still bickered over stupid things and made fun of each other endlessly. However, their love for each other deepened. It is so easy to fall in love with your best friend. Richie and Eddie kept their relationship a secret from everyone except their friends. It was easy to forget the problem inching closer towards them, the future. Many of the losers were thinking about colleges and what to apply to. Unfortunately, all the schools chosen were in different states. Eddie knew his mother wanted him to go to a school closest to her. He nodded his head anytime she talked about it, pretending that was the plan. They still had a year. Nothing was set in stone yet. Eddie preferred to focus on his relationship with Richie and spend as much time with him as possible. While they threw the phrase I love you at each other when they were kids, they hadn’t said it once since they started dating. The words had a deeper meaning now. Valentine’s day was all about saying I love you. The words were all over the place. They were coming out of people’s mouths and displayed all over the bulletin boards in decorations. Eddie felt like this would be a good day to say it. He truly loved Richie. Once again, the familiar basket of flowers appeared in his classroom. He waited patiently to receive his. Finally, the rose was handed to him and he didn’t wait to read it.

“Roses are Red Violets are blue I can’t help it Eds I have fallen in love with you” -Your mother is my true love though ; ) Instead of being angry at the last statement Eddie was laughing. He covered his mouth in shock. Everything felt like a dream. Richie felt like a dream. A dream he never thought he deserved. Instead of waiting for class to be over. Eddie excused himself and ran through the hallway. He needed to see Richie, he needed to kiss Richie. Eddie slowed down when he reached the end of the hallway. Richie was there smiling as if he had won the lottery. In his hand were Eddie’s note and flower. They didn’t say anything before they brought their lips together. The kiss was long and sweet. All their emotions and feelings for each other were expressed through their lips. Eddie’s note fell to the ground as Richie held him close. The note opened up revealing Eddie’s confession.

“I may not be a poet, heck, you still use roses are red poems. All I need to say is this. I am hopelessly and forever in love with you Richie Tozier.”

Senior year had been the worst year of Eddie’s life. Someone had caught Richie and Eddie kissing behind the bleachers and all hell broke loose. Peers began bullying and harassing Eddie. His friends tried to defend him and protect him but it didn’t help much. Everyone was waiting on their letters back from college. Eddie had only applied to schools near Derry while Richie was applying to schools in California. This created many fights between them. They had a big one the night before Valentine’s Day. Eddie felt like he was going to lose Richie and that he would be forgotten. Ugly words were exchanged that made Eddie run out the door with tears in his eyes. He was worried about today knowing that his tradition with Richie may never continue. He got ready for school and looked for the roses he kept over the years. Eddie dried the flowers and pressed them so he could keep them. Yet, no matter where he looked he couldn’t find them. Then a sudden realization hit him like a bucket of cold water. He slowly walked down the stairs to see the roses and notes he kept for years laying on the dinner table. His mother sat across from them with a look of disgust. Eddie felt like he could die right there. Not even a leper could scare him as much as this moment. He prayed it would never come.

“What the hell are these?” The words felt like poison dripping in his ears. Eddie had no idea of how to get out of this. This would end everything.

“It’s just jokes Mama.” Eddie barely got the words out as he gripped the staircase. His knuckles turned white.

“You have a disease, Eddie. I need to take you to the doctor now. We need to take you to a doctor far away from this boy.”

“NO.” Eddie screamed at his mother. She was going to lock him up. He would have to take more pills. He couldn’t handle any more pills.

“No?” How dare you talk back to me young man. After everything I have done for you.”

“What have you done for me? All you have done is damaged me with those fucking pills. I do not have a disease I never have.” Eddie approached the dinner table. He did his best to look strong but he felt himself panicking inside. He didn’t know how this would end. He worried he would never see his friends again.

“You are a fag Eddie. You need to be healed. They have facilities in the mountains for people like you.” People like you. The words felt heavy in Eddie’s chest. It was as if any love she felt for him died.

“I love him mom and you can’t stop me from feeling this way. Nobody can.”

“Fine. If that’s how you want to be.” Eddie watched as she gathered up the roses. A hard crunch made his heart split open.

“No please, don’t.” Eddie was crying now as he watched his mother begin to crush the roses Richie gave him over the years. She tore up the notes that had given him so much joy and happiness.

“I want you gone in a week. I can’t stand to look at you.” Eddie felt like he couldn’t move as he watched the beloved rose petals crumble into pieces. His mother gathered her purse and keys before leaving the house. Eddie felt his breathing begin to stop. He looked around frantically for his inhaler. He grabbed his backpack. His hands were shaking, it took him a few moments before he could find it and bring it to his mouth. After a few moments, his breathing began ease. He had to get out of here. Eddie went upstairs and packed a bag with all his clothes he knew he would have to pick up the rest of his things later. Eddie just needed to get out. Eddie approached Bill’s door and hoped to god Bill would be the one to answer the door. For once today he was in luck. Bill emerged from the other side of the door.

“E-eddie w-w-what happened?” Eddie couldn’t stop the tears as he explained to Bill what happened. Bill let him inside and told his parents as well. Eddie was worried about what they would say but was happily surprised when they offered Eddie to live with them until he left for college. Eddie felt more welcomed than he ever did with his mother. They all agreed that Eddie should stay home instead of going to school. Eddie thought of Richie and how it would seem like he ditched so Eddie wouldn’t have to face him. Bill said he would explain what happened and that Eddie needed to rest. He didn’t realize how tired he would get from crying so much. Before he knew it, he was passed out in Bill’s bed hoping to escape the nightmare he was experiencing. Eddie woke up from the sound of a knock on the door. He looked at the clock to see it was only half past noon. Before he could say anything, a warm familiar voice took over his ears.

“Hey Eds, can I come in?”

“Yeah.” The word came out groggy from how tired he was. Richie walked in the room. He looked warm in a wool sweater that complimented the color of his eyes. Eddie thought he looked handsome and it warmed his broken heart.

“I heard what happened. Everyone else is downstairs. They didn’t want to leave you.” At his words Eddie began to cry again. Richie ran over to Eddie and pulled him into a hug. Eddie cried louder as he held Richie tight.

“She said she was going to send me to one of those mental hospitals. They would have killed me up there. She also told me to get out. How am I supposed to support myself through college now? I don’t have a home to come back to.” Eddie dug his face deeper into Richie’s sweater. Richie stroked Eddie’s hair, doing his best to calm Eddie down.

“I’m so sorry Eddie. She had no right to say that.” They stayed silent for a minute to let Eddie calm down. “She and I were never going to work anyway.” Eddie couldn’t help but laugh at Richie’s stupid joke. He wiped his eyes before smiling up at Richie.

“You are so dumb sometimes.”

“Dumb but attractive. You know you love me.” Eddie smiled before looking down at his hands.

“I am sorry about the argument yesterday. I said some things I didn’t really mean.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I said some stupid shit too. We will probably have more of those in the future but that still won’t stop me from loving you.” Richie reached for Eddie’s check and pinched it. The smaller boy swatted Richie’s hand away making him laugh in return.

“I don’t know what I am going to do Richie.”

“Well, you can start with accepting my rose.” Eddie looked up to see a rose in Richie’s hand. It was not a fresh rose like the others. It looked as if it was made of metal. The red paint on the petals shined when they hit the sun. Next to it was a note much larger than the ones in the past.

“This is beautiful. I didn’t get-“

“It’s okay just open it.” Eddie did as he was told. However, there was no cheesy poem like before. Instead laid a plane ticket to California that was dated near the end of the summer. Eddie looked up at Richie confused. Why would he give him a plane ticket if there wasn’t a place to go? Richie motioned to him to read more. Eddie looked through the note to find an acceptance letter from UCLA with his name on it.

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“Okay, so I may have stolen a copy of your college essay and sent it to UCLA in hopes that you would be accepted and come with me. I know it’s crazy and I know what you are thinking but I can’t live without you, Eddie.” Eddie was shocked at the papers in front of him. He still couldn’t understand how this all came to be.

“But the money?”

“I explained your situation in a letter and they are willing to give you a scholarship. We can do this, you and me. We can forget this prejudice town and move to a place that is more open and diverse. We may find friends who are in the situation we are in right now. I know you have gone through a lot to be with me and I want us to be able to feel like we don’t always have to hide all the time. I love you Eddie and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives.” Richie held Eddie’s hands with hope in his eyes. This seemed like one of Eddie’s dreams. Was he dreaming?

“Richie, I’m scared.” Eddie wanted this more than anything but this would mean he would have to give up his life in Derry. Even though the town was small he loved it. It had its own special charm without the whole missing children thing. “What about IT? We made that pact.”

“If IT does come back we will too but that is years from now. We need to live and I don’t want to live without you.”

“I don’t want to live without you either.” Richie began to smile as he saw Eddie’s mood switch.

“So, is that a yes?”

"It's a hell yes."

[progmanx]

I'm really REALLY confused as to why you and Kylie hate the long awaited beautiful Korra comics so much??? Like I was expecting homophobic nations with how sexist the northern water tribe was. + you have FN's dictatorship (they poisoned their own people of that river town with that factory) & how dumb the EK was with Kuei not knowing about the war. & I don't understand why y'all are mad at Kya.

Huh. Well, this certainly a change of pace; directing this ask at me, as opposed to @lokgifsandmusings​. Which is actually very thoughtful, to be honest. She’s got her hands full with her niece right now (literally) so yeah, I can field this one.

First thing’s first, we’re not mad at Kya. We’re frustrated at what she said, and thus the scripting of her. As in: We’re pissed at Mike for writing those words. Also, how could we be mad at Kya? She’s…not a real person. She’s a character who served as a mouthpiece for an exposition dump. 

Second, this is a topic we covered very extensively two weeks ago, but I’m happy to go over it again now that Turf Wars is out in the wild for everyone and not just people near a LCS. Kylie and I have very strong opinions about Turf Wars, this is true. Something we have never denied is that we’ve been waiting just as long as everyone else. We wanted so, so badly to love these like most of the fandom can. I’m serious; we’re pretty bummed that we can’t. 

As for why we can’t just sit back and enjoy them, well…there’s a reason we wrote over 10,000 words on that exact subject. It’s because we’re super enthusiastic about debating and that’s how our brains work. We cover the Northern Water Tribe’s depiction of protective paternalism, and also the Fire Nation wasn’t a dictatorship; it was a monarchy. It still is a monarchy, in fact. As for that village from The Painted Lady…buddy, the Fire Nation wasn’t purposefully poisoning an entire village of their own people. Neglect and supervillainy aren’t the same thing. It doesn’t make any sense if they’re trying to spread their culture to the world through violent imperialism and genocide! They want to keep their people happy—okay, I’ll stop. 

We get into all of that, except for Kuei since…why does his ignorance have anything to do with anything? Those two things aren’t even remotely related. 

Anyway, to boil it all down (because if I talk about the Gestapo imagery we’ll be here literally all day): Systemic and institutionalized homophobia doesn’t make sense in this universe. It can’t exist, because that means that system and institutionalized sexism exists on a global scale. And if that’s a thing, then that means the entire foundation of the Avatar canon is uprooted. No, seriously, I’m not even joking. At all. Here, I’ll quote two sections of the piece, which I’m putting under the cut because this is getting long.

“….There’s a really good and logical reason for why sexism isn’t systemic, by the way. You see, this world has a spiritual leader with the powers of a demigod, and the ability to bend space, time, and everything else. They look to this person as a kind of Dalai Lama-esque figure (or Pope, if that’s more your understanding). And there’s a 50% chance that it’s going to be—wait for it—a woman! Sometimes a woman who lives for 230 years, murders her foes without hesitation, and establishes the laws and structure for the largest nation on the planet.

We are, of course, speaking of Avatar Kyoshi who, in a comic was revealed to have established the Dai Li. Yes, we believe show canon trumps comic canon, but when comic canon works and expands logically based on the established rules of the source material, we will point to it and gladly champion it.

Either way, this was the role model for the world for over two centuries:

Kyoshi: Chin the Conqueror threatened to throw the world out of balance. I stopped him. And the world entered a great era of peace.

Aang: You didn’t really kill Chin. Technically, he fell to his own doom because he was too stubborn to get out of the way.

Kyoshi: Personally, I don’t really see the difference, but I assure you, I would have done whatever it took to stop Chin. I offer you this wisdom, Aang: Only justice will bring peace.”

[…Insert like 8,000 words here…]

“What structural sexism could exist with this history? Especially when her male predecessor was a moron who got himself killed at thirty fighting his spirity white whale when his girlfriend got her face stolen. Yeah…we really have to scratch our heads to figure out who would have been more inspiring to the people of this world.

“…On a Watsonian level, the implication of this portrayal (where Korra and Asami need to proceed with caution) is that this homophobia exists on an institutionalized level, presumably mostly in the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation, which therefore means there’s institutionalized sexism as well. It’s impossible to separate those out. And…this is why we can’t see the comics really being all that connected to canon. Because if you try and shove sexism into this world on that level—“that level” being where Korra and Asami are not comfortable being open about their relationship on the basis of their genders, just like Kya—then characters like Toph or Azula or Mai or Lin or Suyin or Kuvira can’t really exist, at least not without getting a ton of gendered feedback all the time.

Toph invented metalbending and established the law enforcement for the world’s cultural hub, for fuck’s sake. There’s just no way we can pile sexist barriers onto these characters, because it doesn’t fit. At all. Not with the actions they took, and not with the feedback they received.

The homophobic and militaristically oppressed Earth Kingdom allowed a metalbending matriarch to build an entire city and basically run it autonomously? Yeah, that doesn’t sound plausible.

The thing is, even if we could take the described homophobia at face-value, it raises a host of issues, and retroactively creates problematic content within the shows. Take Homophobe Extraordinaire Sozin, for instance. This happens to be our favorite unfortunate implication, and not just because it gives rise to Feminist Reformer Ozai. See, we know Sozin’s aim was to spread Fire Nation culture across the world, since they were thought to be superior. Oops! Guess that now means an entire military campaign targeting gay people, especially since we know this started immediately after Sozin took the throne. What a really fun way of fleshing out the show, especially for kids!”

At the end of the day, this is just our opinion and interpretation. It’s all subjective, and it’s the reason why we personally feel like it was pandering and kind of infantilizing. We’re both quite happy people can love and enjoy the comic as is. But yeah, click the link if you dare because that explains where we’re coming way, way better than this ask can. Also we worked super hard on it, and are pretty proud of it! 

So yeah, there you go, anon. That’s the why and how and what of it.

[grilledcheesedelux]

“Fuck it, right?”

AN: Okay so..I’m trying the fanfiction thing out. I actually wrote this a while ago, but just never posted it anywhere because I didn’t have a reddie blog lol. This sucks a lot, so be prepared, but since I have nothing to post on here just yet, I just decided why the hell not.

Summary: Richie begins noticing that he may swing the other way, and it gets harder for him to deal with when he realizes he may like one of his best friends: Eddie Kaspbrak. He decides to tell him during a sleepover at Bill’s place.

Sleepovers are not uncommon for the losers. If anything, they have them almost every other day. But tonight, Richie knew things were going to be different. He knew the moment everyone decided upon even having the sleepover. Tonight was the night he told Eddie just how he felt.

For many kids his age, telling your crush how you feel about them can be sort of a big deal, but not quite that bad. For Richie, however, this felt like life or death. He had only recently noticed his sexuality, and how he needed to come to grips with it, just a few months back. For the first few weeks of finding this out, he was in complete denial. He tried thinking of celebrity women he would like to kiss, or even girls at his school he would want to go out with. But he felt nothing. It was completely different, however, when he thought about Eddie. Anytime Eddie came to his mind, he felt this nice, heavy sort of feeling in his chest, but at the same time it felt awful. He absolutely hated the fact he wanted to kiss a boy, his friend at that, but it wasn’t like he could help it. After months and months of just hating on himself, and then coming to grips with the fact he likes boys, not girls, he decided he needed Eddie to know. He needs Eddie to get what he’s feeling, and hell, maybe he may even feel the same way. Though, that was really only a fantasy of Richie’s.

That afternoon, he went straight home after school instead of heading to Bill’s house for the sleepover first. He told the other losers he just forgot something at his house, but he knew that wasn’t true. He just wanted to get himself mentally prepared for tonight. He got home and went straight to his bathroom. He looked in the mirror, and tried desperately to recite what he was going to tell Eddie to his reflection, though he felt it was all just too awkward.

“Hey, Eddie? Can I tell you something? No, no, that’s way too upfront. He’ll know exactly what I’m gonna say, and he’ll think I’m a fucking weirdo. Okay, okay, try again,” Richie sighed to himself, feeling this would never ever go the way he wants it to. “Eddie, I’m gonna be real with you. I kinda wanna kiss the hell out of you. No no! That’s way too fucking weird!” Richie frustratingly slammed his fist on his bathroom counter. He was so upset and angry, as he felt this would all just end up in the end of their friendly relationship. He’d be kicked out of the loser’s club and would be completely friendless, and all just because he likes a boy. That’s when Richie decided he was just going to say exactly what he was feeling. It was too bad he was saying this just to his reflection and not the real Eddie.

“Alright, look. I like you, Eds. I really REALLY like you. I know you won’t like me back, and this will all just end up in you hating me or something, but I really just need this off my chest. Every time I see you I feel things in my chest, and it can feel nice, but it also hurts so much. Like..like I’ll never be able to just see you like a friend, but just as the boy I want to hold hands with. I’m really sorry, Eddie. I hope this doesn’t fuck anything up.” Richie looked up at his refection, and saw that he had an actual tear on his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, as there was no way he was going to look weak during all of this. He took a couple of deep breaths, and opened the bathroom door. What he wasn’t expecting was to see Mike standing right there.

“Woah. Dude...is that how you really feel?” Mike was shocked, his jaw stood in a dropped position. Richie was so embarrassed, his face red and his eyes watering from embarrassment.

“Why are you here?” Richie asked, his voice shaking as he tried to conceal tears. He didn’t want to cry, especially not after saying all of that. He knew he was on the brink of tears because of how embarrassed and shocked he was, but at the same time he knew Mike and the others would have to find out sooner or later, right? He just didn’t really feel now was the right time for the others to find out.

“I was just..checking on you. You usually go straight to Bill’s place, but you didn’t show up. We figured you’d be back soon but you’ve been gone for over half an hour. So, I just decided to..y’know..see if you were okay? To make sure you didn’t have an accident on the road or something.” Mike was looking at the floor, like he was unable to make eye contact. “Actually..it wasn’t my idea to come up here.”

Richie paused. “Then who’s was it?” Mike had a slight grin on his face as he looked back up at Richie.

“It was Eddie’s.”

Richie’s face lit up, and his heart swelled with excitement. “Wait, really? Like, for real?” He wasn’t really sure why this excited him that much, as Eddie WAS the hypochondriac of the all the losers, but it just felt nice knowing Eddie cared for him in some sort of way. “Then..why didn’t he come? Are you lying to make me feel better, because you know you don’t have to do that.”

“No, I swear I’m not lying! Eddie got scared you had an accident or something, and asked someone to check up on you. He said he didn’t want to go because…” Mike’s voice traced off, another grin appearing on his face. “..he didn’t want to see you hurt. We all knew that he wasn’t scared about you being in an accident, though.” Richie was confused, seeing as that WOULD be why Eddie would want to check up on him.

“Then what was he scared about? Stop fucking around with me, Mike. I need to know what the hell’s going on.”

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just..I think Eddie likes you back, man. Anytime you’re not around, all he talks about is how he wishes you were there. ‘If Richie were here,’ this and ‘If Richie were here,’ that. He was worried you were upset about something. After we mentioned the sleepover earlier you just seemed more..upset? Like, kind of fidgety and stuff. He just wanted to know you were okay, but didn’t want to have to see you sad. If that makes any sense..I didn’t really understand it, but that’s what he said.” Richie was stunned. Eddie cared..that much about him? Where he couldn’t even see him sad or anything?

“Um..yeah. Okay…can I ask you a question?”

“Go for it.”

Richie paused slightly, looking at his dirty shoes instead of at Mike. “Do..do you really think he’ll like me back? And, was what I said, like..too dumb or something? I don’t wanna look like a bitch or anything in front of him, but-“

“Look, it’s okay. What you said was great, and if you say what you said just then to the REAL Eddie, he’ll appreciate it. Whether he likes you or not.” Richie’s face began to slightly blush at just the thought of Eddie liking what he said about him. Mike patted Richie’s back, and signaled it was about time to head back to Bill’s house.

“Wait..Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“If…if he doesn’t like what I have to say..you won’t kick me out of the Loser’s Club, right?” Mike sort of giggled, and shook his head.

“Dude, that’s absurd. None of us could even consider kicking you out, much less just because you like one of the members. Ben likes Bev, and we don’t kick him out?”

“Yeah but..that’s different.”

“And how so?” Mike said with a little smirk on his face, as he already knew the answer, and also knew what he was going to say back.

“Because it’s like..gay?”

“Dude, that’s not a bad thing. You know, I’ve actually got a gay uncle. My family isn’t really all that accepting of that kind of stuff, so we don’t really talk about him much. But, I do know he was a great guy, and my parents still loved him when they were here. He’s my mom’s brother, and she always told me she couldn’t be any happier than with the brother she already had. You really don’t need to worry about anything, Richie. It’ll all be okay.” Jesus, why does Mike have to be the greatest person to talk to? Thank God he was the one that showed up. Richie had tears forming in his eyes from the last things he said, because he never thought any of his friends would feel this way, and to be honest, much less Mike. Richie pulled him in for a hug, wiped his face off, and started off to Bill’s house.

“We’re back, losers!” Richie shouted from downstairs, looking over at Mike, who gave him a big thumbs up. Richie took a deep breath, and began walking up the stairs towards Bill’s room.

“Hey R-Richie! W-What the hell t-t-took you so long?” Bill asked, sitting on the bed with Eddie and Ben. Bev was sitting on Bill’s desk, though he’s repeatedly told her not to.

“I was just out fucking your mom. You know, she’s quick.” Bill rolled his eyes and returned to talking with Bill. Eddie however, jumped up from the bed and ran over to Richie.

“Jesus Christ, Tozier, I thought you were dead! And you said you forgot something, but I see nothing new with you! What the hell’s going-“ Richie grabbed Eddie and pulled him out of Bill’s room, shutting the door with an unintentional slam. The losers tried to run over there and see what was going on, but Mike stopped them. He knew what was happening, and there was no way in hell he was going to ruin this moment for Richie.

“What the f-“

“Eddie, just listen to me a minute. I need to talk…serious with you.” They were now standing in a cold bathroom, which was not what Richie had planned, but it would have to do.

“Wait..what’s going on? You’re not ever serious about anything. Are you hurt? Is someone else hurt? IS SOMEONE DEAD?!”

“No, just shut up a second Eds!”

“Don’t call me Eds.”

“Just listen, okay?! I...I like you.” Eddie’s face turned a bright shade of red.

“I-I mean I w-would sure hope so as friends..” He stuttered to much he almost sounded like Bill.

“No, I mean..Love you..sorta. It’s weird. Like..when I see you, I get this weird feeling in my chest that kinda..hurts? If that makes any sense at all. But like..I kinda like it at the same time. I hate that I feel that way, but..fuck it, right?” There was a sort of long silence after what Richie said, and it made his face turn almost as red as Eddies. Almost. “I’m..I’m sorry. I never should’ve said anyth-“ Eddie grabbed the collar of Richie’s shirt and pulled him into a kiss. It was both of their first kisses, so it was messy and not perfect. But to them, it felt like perfection at it’s finest. Richie tried pulling Eddie closer by holding his back gently, and Eddie just held on tightly to Richie’s collar. The kiss was long, but to them it felt longer. They then pulled away simultaneously and just stared at each other for a while. Then Richie got the guts to talk.

“Woah.”

“Woah.”

“So like..what was that?” Richie realized he was holding Eddie’s hand, and immediately let go.

“I’m, uh..n-not sure. It felt..nice. I think.”

“Yeah. Really nice.” There was yet another awkward silence, and Richie could begin hearing the faucet dripping.

“So..you wanna-?” Eddie directed toward the door behind Richie.

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Uh..do you just..not wanna mention it? Mike kinda already knows about me liking you, so..could I maybe tell him that I scored a kiss?” Richie said, a smirk on his face. Eddie giggled and pushed past Richie to the door.

“I think we should just tell all of them. I mean..fuck it, right?”