#you target 8 year olds wow.

[crypticschism]

I'm not confused you're trying to rape and kill me, just like you said you would not if I can help it.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #6442:

People who hate on shows just cause it's not entertaining to them when they are in no way the target audience

Like you a 23 year old male college student does not find a show aimed at girls 8-10 years old, entertaining. Wow thats so shocking!

[snowyh2o]

Hazbin Hotel Episode 7&8 Spoilers:

Ok, ok. I’ve finally calmed down a bit. I have. SO many thoughts on Alastor, that I’m just not gonna touch on them in this post, aside from I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS LOSING IT FBSKDNFBSHHDHFBS.

But what I wanna focus on is Rosie! And how she’s been described as the nicest overlord. And how Cannibal Town is like, the nicest place we’ve seen in hell??? The streets are relatively clean, no one is trynna kill each other. There’s so many people out on the streets, just? Going about their days? Aside from the fact that they’re all cannibals, it’s almost like any other town you’d visit! (I am not familiar enough with the fashion styles over the years to like, accurately date what time period Cannibal Town is supposed to reflect, but it feels old (and somewhere Alastor would fit right in with) lol).

And then we actually meet with Rosie, and she’s in the middle of consulting one of her people, where there’s a HUGE line up of others looking like they’re waiting to consult with her too! And like, even before she spoke with Charlie about her love life, she’s giving advice and comfort and support and connecting to the lady she’s speaking with who apparently wants to eat her husband. Before saying that she’ll set the man straight if the lady sends him to her, and gives her a card if she ever needs any more help.

Like. First minute into seeing Rosie and like. WOW. You can IMMEDIATELY tell that this is the reason why everyone in Cannibal Town’s so chill and happy? Why there’s such a sense of order and security in a place that’s basically just anarchy?

Rosie is both the Overlord, the unofficial mayor, the therapist and consultant and your best friend all wrapped up into one. She’s got an entire lineup of people who are waiting to tell her their woes and listen to her advice. And she’s happy to help!

Even the actual cannibalism is like, so posh and proper? Or it’s treated in Cannibal Town as like, normal food. But also it’s very telling that no one’s killing each other for said cannibalism. In fact, the only times we’ve seen them do so is after an extermination, when there’s a bunch of dead bodies that aren’t reviving lying around. (And they seem to lose their manners when eating then) It is likely tho that they just, target outsiders, since everyone we saw aside from Alastor and Charlie were a part of Cannibal Town.

Just the Juxtaposition of a town literally full of Cannibals being probably THE nicest place in hell for sinners to live in??? Immaculate.

Also, Rosie’s snide comment on how Alastor’s got no manners when it comes to being offered food LOL. And, I just LOVE their relationship and interaction. First time chatting in years and she’s already offering up place with a deal for Alastor to go make. That AMAZING little joke about him being Ace and having it COMPLETELY flying over his head. Alastor letting her touch him, and how genuinely excited and happy the two of them are just talking and interacting. Their little duet in the middle of the song, the way Rosie pulls Alastor out of his scheming to just enjoy the moment. Their dance!!! She’s never been wronged by Alastor before!!! She trusts him to follow through on his side of the unofficial bargain/favor. Looking like proud parents when Charlie finds the courage to sing her pitch. I love, everything about these two, oh my god.

Anyways!!! Back to Rosie being just, a genuinely good aunt? And giving so much good advice for Charlie. Asking her the questions that needed to be asked. Rosie has, such good insight? On what the issue was, and why Vaggie would’ve kept something from her. She didn’t shy away from how big the secret was, but she also didn’t let Charlie spiral into questioning every little part of their relationship. And that little end but when she’s saying that Vaggie is flawed, but so is everyone else down in hell. GAWD. How it’s difficult to admit your regrets. Like, if that isn’t the core of the show, the core of Charlie’s dream, then I don’t know what is. Rosie cut through to the heart of the matter, she didn’t tell Charlie what she should feel or how she should act, but asked her what she’s actually feeling, and why, and told her to trust herself and her own judgement on if Vaggie’s actions were sincere or not. Man she’s such a good therapist.

(I’m half convinced Alastor didn’t just bring Charlie to Cannibal Town and see Rosie just because they needed support and numbers to fight against the exorcists, but also because she’s the best person he knows who can give out good relationship advice and he’s getting a little tired of Charlie venting at him. Especially now that she’s past the self loathing phase and has stepped into the unrestrained anger and frustration at someone else phase)

Also, unrelated topic but here’s a thought: only angel steel/holy weapons/powers can do permanent damage to someone’s body/soul. Vaggie’s eye is torn out by Lute’s exorcist blade, but her wings were just ripped off by hand. Vaggie’s eye never regenerated or recovered, but she was able to regrow her wings. Alastor was struck by Adam’s holy weapon across his chest. What if the injury never fully recovers?

And also, Alastor’s talk about “unclipping” his wings. My friend, once a bird’s wings are clipped they can’t be unclipped! You have to wait for the feathers to shed and grow in new ones. To regenerate. Also what is this talk about you having wings??? Don’t tell me you’re ALSO a secret angel??? Probably not cause your blood is red BUT. Where are you hiding those supposed clipped wings of yours eh?!

[empiresgleam]

Sneak peak of the forthcoming Chapter 8 of Empires Gleam, in which Merlin has gone back in time to save them all, and ended up in a friends-with-benefits situation with Arthur. Mutual pining while having sexy trysts all over the place... chef's kiss.

----

"Ready? Pull!" shouted Arthur, drawing his bow.

Merlin flicked a hand and a clay disc ricocheted into the air. Arthur took the shot and felt in his bones that it was flying true towards the target. But at the last second the disc zinged out of the way and the arrow landed harmlessly in the grass.

"Sorry? Should I go easier on you?" asked Merlin, with an innocent smile.

Arthur glared. “I can't handle anything you’ve got, Merlin.”

Merlin smirked and crooked a finger to pick up Arthur's arrow and float it back to him.

"Again," sighed Arthur. "Ready? Pull!"

This time, the arrow hit the clay disc dead on, but Arthur knew enough about Merlin now to anticipate the second surprise disc. He whipped a dagger out of the top of his boot and threw it, managing to hit the second target mostly by sheer luck.

Merlin's jaw dropped open.

"Arthur, ye gods," he said.

"That's what happens when you’ve been trained to kill since b-" said Arthur, but was cut off by Merlin's mouth landing hotly on his.

Afterwards, when they were lying on the grass, letting the night air cool their heated skin, Merlin asked, "Do you want to tell the others about this place?"

Arthur looked around the aerie, at the neat acres of mossy grass, the high stone walls covered in thick ivy that looked a hundred years old, the blossoming trees, the cozy outbuildings. He took in the whole massive arena, ringed with iron braziers, a fire burning merrily in all of them, giving a warm tone to Merlin's skin that matched his eyes, which were more often gold than blue here.

"Not right now. But eventually," he conceded. "Only because it seems a shame to let all your hard work go unappreciated."

Merlin pressed his face into Arthur's shoulder, pleased as a cat at this simple compliment.

"But not now, right?" Merlin said. "It's too– too– convenient to give up."

"Right. Exactly," said Arthur, with a shiver. Convenient. That's all it was.

------

Then there was the quiet summer morning when the unicorn stepped out of the trees.

Merlin looked at Arthur's raised crossbow, looked at the unicorn, remembered a labyrinth and a beach and a riddle of poison.

Arthur put a finger to his lips.

Merlin tackled him into the dirt.

“Wow, unnecessary,” said Arthur. “I wasn’t going to shoot it. I remember the story of the prat and the unicorn.”

“Couldn't risk it,” said Merlin. “Can't rest my whole fate on whether you are or are not a prat.”

He was lying heavy on top of Arthur, panting.

Arthur said, “You know, I’ve heard that unicorns only appear to virgins. If you’re so worried, we could make sure that neither of us ever sees one again.”

He grinned, thrust his hips suggestively, and reached up for a kiss.

Merlin tasted salt on his tongue and remembered the smell of the sea, sitting across from Arthur, two goblets between them, deciding who would die to save Camelot from the unicorn’s curse.

Tomorrow, instead of making a noble sacrifice for each other’s lives, they would probably trade furtive kisses in the armoury.

And– momentarily– horribly– Merlin wished he’d let the unicorn die.

“No!” Merlin pushed off Arthur and got to his feet roughly. “It’s getting late. Let’s get back.”

He felt the pressure of Arthur’s gaze, but avoided it all the way home.

------

New chapters coming soon to Ao3.

[razmerry]

Drawtectives: Orc Lore... 2!!!!

My first Drawtectives orc lore post that I made 2 years got over 600 notes, and I always intended to compile one for the second season. I just needed to rewatch all of it first! This one includes more general information about the Drawtectives world than the first did, cause it’s really fun. 

Part 1

Episode 1:

- York has become a male model! Good job, king

- Extra world lore: Boogle, Bamerica (where engineers drive the train)

Episode 2:

- Common knowledge in the orc tribes is that the one thing you can’t fight is death - it gets you in the end

- “There’s always time for the east” - a classic Northern tribes quote

- Extra world lore: Pollywood, gredit cards, Zac Giraffe, Belp, Bi-Fi, Halloween is canon!

Episode 3:

- No one has ever reported back after confronting a wild train

- Reconfirmed: the roughly cuboid shape of wild cats, including tigers which have a Garfield-like appearance

- One of the only comics in the Northern tribe was Cashews by Barles Pört, featuring Sneppy 

- Things York can write: eat my butt, wow now thatsa potata, Sneppy

- York doesn’t talk about his #1 and #2 weirdest days: “too weird”

- York is “a very social creature” according to Rose; all he needs are friends and food

Episode 4:

- Confirmed for the third time: York is a math guy

- York is big enough that he has a high drink tolerance

Episode 5:

- The “Ren Faire Las Vegas” is a story in the Northern tribe told to children, about a magical place with heroes and knights and glitter; York hoped to see it someday

       - Which included the hero “Belvis Breseley” and his many disciples

       - Interestingly, the Benaissance appears to possibly be etymologically linked to this “Ren Faire”, when the famous turtle painter Michaelango lived

- A classic game from the Northern tribes called “Lift It”: where you have a heavy object and see if you can lift it

Episode 6:

- It takes York a few seconds to transform between “Fight Mode” and “Show Mode”

- More Cashews lore: the lead character is Barley Brown

- Another newspaper comic: Beefcliff, which is apparently spelled differently in other locations

- BC also exists: unclear if this is our world’s or simply a coincidence

- Wild trains enjoy bones: new, old, yours, doesn’t matter to the train

- It’s speculated that trains evolved from wild bikes, with some diverging evolutionary lines including trucks

- Wild trains have feline ears and tails; if the ears are in the alert position, the train has now targeted you

- “Life is a railroad, and I’m going to ride it ‘till my stop”: a line from the hit group Bascal Blatts

- An interesting thing to note: synthetic trains are built in the image of wild trains

- York lost 17 of his cousins to wild train attacks; so York has approximately 35 cousins according to him (and I trust his math)

- Wild trains have a “burning inferno” as well as a mouth-eye, and the tail can be used somewhat like a blade

- Stripes on the side of the wild train help it blend in with tallgrass environments

- Horse Pope: holy figure? Into gambling? Oversees soups?

- York: sometimes known as “The Terror of the Northern Tribes”

- York has a net worth of about 6 million bones in his bank, although it’s unclear what the exchange rate is to Bamerican dollars

Episode 7:

- Bibby Joey: creator of the famous song “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”

- BUNO!

- Eugino, a popular card game (Eugene-Oh?)

- I’m not writing down the rest of those board game puns

- The only game played in the Northern Tribes was “rock hit”, where you threw rocks at another rock in the air and see which rock survived; perhaps Lift It was more of a personal challenge

- There are no tables in the Northern Tribes

- Eugene’s favorite karaoke song is “I Need A Villain” by Donnie Byler, featured in Grek 2

Episode 8:

- York is the smart one, according to Rose: “he thinks the loudest”

- He’s also bad with faces and voices according to Rose; reconfirmed from S1E5

- I just really like that he was 100% convinced that Alm and All were different people

- Phone-bone, apparently

Episode 9:

- I enjoy the two-part confirmation that Northern Tribes orcs have southern accents

- “Joe Beans” is not a traditional orcish name

- Not everyone knows that the Northern Tribes have a monarchy

- “Orcish size” drinks are in a bucket, evidently they are literally sand buckets

- Jancy came to York’s first modeling show :,)

- York once tried to arm-wrestle a snake

- Wonderful film by Studio Jiggly: Ghosted Over There

Episode 10:

- No lore just solving the case!!

Episode 11:

- York’s favorite action hero is Ben Ception, who enters people’s dreams

- List of the months: Febicember, Smarch, Mapril, Junary, and Bachtober

- York’s powerful… stream gives him time to get his arms warmed up for a fight

- Another social media app; Binstagram

- “Lofty goals do lead to existential horrors” - daily quote by Rose

[earlgreytea68]

Someone asked me how my nephew liked the Fall Out Boy concert! And did he want a t-shirt.

He luckily did not want a t-shirt. I say "luckily" only because wow, the t-shirts are a lot of money! I would have bought him one, probably, if he'd asked, but he didn't, and I didn't think he was into the band enough that he would wear it with pride around his friends (almost-teenagers, whatevs lol).

He did, however, scoop up a bunch of the confetti that floated our way at the end of the concert to keep for a souvenir, which was cute! I think he enjoyed it! He certainly paid attention to everything they said and asked me lots of questions about the band on the drive home (Do I think the guy in the hat makes the most money? No, they split it equally. How do I think he remembers all the words? He doesn't all the time. How did I remember all the words? I have worked very hard on basically ONLY listening to Fall Out Boy for five years now. If their first arena show was in Providence, do I think they went to some of the same restaurants we go to in Rhode Island? omg I never thought about that...). He said he had fun and he had a lot to say about it to his parents. And he did recognize some of the songs, I think probably from sporting events he goes to with his friends. He was also really into all the opening bands and spent a lot of time comparing and contrasting them and asking me how I think they decided the order and how did they know which bands were going to be there, etc.

He also, of course, loved being at Fenway and asked me lots of questions about the field and the scoreboard and the Green Monster and stuff. He's been to Fenway before but not in circumstances where we really had time to talk about the park, so we talked a lot about how old it was and what the names and numbers on the banners meant, etc.

He was also super-patient with me when I kept studying different merch booths to make sure I wasn't missing anything I wanted. When I suddenly found the magic 8 ball shirt at some random merch stand tucked next to a sausage cart on Lansdowne Street, I was like, "We have to wait in this line now so I can get that shirt," and he was so good-natured and really interested in people-watching and asking how many sausage sandwiches I thought the guy was going to sell, etc.

ALSO, best thing. When you get out of Fenway from an event, there's usually someone out there busking on bucket-drums, so I'm guiding him through the crowd on Yawkey Way and it's chaos and he turns to me and goes, "Is that what Fall Out Boy used to do?" and I'm like, "What?" because there are a million people around us and curbs and barricades and cars, etc., and I'm distracted, and he's like, "That drumming thing," and I'm like, "What drumming thing?" and then register the busker in the background and I'm like, ???? I was like, "You mean that guy playing the drums? No, they never did that." Because in my head I was like, ...how weird and random he would think Fall Out Boy was out here busking after concerts once upon a time????? And then he goes, "Well, they said that they used to play across the street," which they did, and they meant by that the House of Blues, which is literally located across the street from Fenway, and I knew that was what they meant, but of course my nephew has no reason to know that there's another smaller venue right there and so he concluded they just played out on the street busking for money and I just love this idea so much, imagine Fall Out Boy just standing on a street corner playing, Patrick Stump would CLEAN UP as a busker.

Honestly, he's a funny kid, though, so I think he was also extremely tickled by the city Target we went into that had TWO FLOORS lol.

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

Glad youre enjoying my descent into kabuto hell, genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen even when its fuckin insane tbh

kabuto is just. wow. they aired that on television with the target audience 8 year olds, to sell toys! what do you get out of it at that age???

it's soooooooo good but also very bad and extremely weird and i loved it (and loved hating certain characters lmaooooo)

11/10 experience, everyone watch kabuto

[dream-meister-translations]

THE TALE OF FOOD

MOONLIT CONFESSIONS - PART 8

━

(Years before)

COUNCILLOR : How could you get so hungry? Poor child, come with me. I have a lot of leftovers at my residence.

COUNCILLOR : Amazing! I never imagined a mere homeless child could carve an orange with such detail. Were you born knowing how to make this dish?

-

COUNCILLOR : Haha, have no fear. I have some Mician acquaintances and they are decent folk.

COUNCILLOR : The dish you are adept at making is one of the Great Lord's favorites and he wishes to taste it for himself. So who else could make him Crab in Orange as well as you can?

COUNCILLOR : As I see it, you won't be able to squirm out of attending the Micians' feast. So off you go with Papa to feast and be merry! Hahahaha!

-

GUARD : Assassin! Assassin on the loose! No, he's headed for the councillor!

The councillor looks back to find someone standing between him and his assailants. That firm resolute stance made what the boy was doing look as easy as how he cored the oranges for Crab in orange.

CRAB IN ORANGE : Watch out, Pa! Wah!

-

COUNCILLOR : Please, I beg of you. I'm old and have only this son...Please, no matter what you do, as long as he comes back to life...

MICIAN DISCIPLE A : As long as he comes back to life, the form is of no importance then?

COUNCILLOR : I don't care what you do as long as he lives!

-

MICIAN DISCIPLE B : TGII is standing outside and gazing off into the distance. What's he looking at?

MICIAN DISCIPLE C : I don't know. I heard that this all happened decades ago. But for his looks to have remained the same all this time, it's only possible with an android body.

MICIAN DISCIPLE C : Sometimes if you look closely, it's pretty scary.

MICIAN DISCIPLE B : Hush, stop that nonsense at once! If word gets back to his master, you'll never hear the end of it.

MICIAN DISCIPLE C : I know, I know! Who dares offend the two walking examples of Miscian research excellence?

CRAB IN ORANGE : Don't mind me.

MICIAN DISCIPLE B : Whoa! Where'd you come from!?

CRAB IN ORANGE : The Hour of the Tiger is here. Please inform the Great Lord that I am here to seek an audience with him.

MICIAN DISCIPLE C : Sure, p-please head towards the Chamber of Venerated Worthy on the fourth floor. The Great Lord has strict instructions that tonight's discussion is top-secret. You...Haven't been noticed by the others, have you?

-

TGII : Ingredients...Crab...Person...

MASTER : Mr. Robot? Mr. TGII? He sounds like he's sleep-talking.

MASTER : I didn't know robots could sleep talk...That's beyond anything I've ever imagined. Do they see robotic sheep in their sleep too?

TGII : ...

MASTER : Wow! Standing up the second after waking up is also way beyond my imagination.

MASTER : Master, do you think...I'm human-like...?

MASTER : What?

MASTER : Did you...Recall something?

TGII : ...

MASTER : I've...Met all kinds of people. Some looked downright shabby but had hearts of gold. Others were clothed in silk but performed the most heinous of acts.

MASTER : Rather than whether you look human, I think you should think about whether you want to be a real human...That seems more important to me.

OSMANTHUS WINE : Let's not get into philosophy.

OSMANTHUS WINE : Listen carefully, all of you. I'm hearing what sounds like an argument. We must be very close to the core control chamber.

ROBO BUNNY : Probe data indicates we are less than 3 miles to the target zone.

TGII : Good, let us keep pressing on then.

TGII : I want to go back for that rock. It...May help me remember more of my past.

-

The sprawling zone is full of mechanisms powered by an array of cogs and gears. The control panel is at the heart of the ring of mechanisms, a spartan pit in the ground, with only faint lines that shift about.

YIPIN POT : I've said it before that each area needs its core drive to keep spinning.

YIPIN POT : The core is made of components of spiritual force and soul power. For example, Kongsang's core is closely linked to the power of the Food God.

MOON CAKE : I know what you mean, but, but this isn't enough! This is totally insufficient as evidence!

MOON CAKE : A hero won't be so easily misled by flowery words and fanciful stories! After all, this concerns many people...I-I'm going to seek the truth myself!

Moon Cake rubs his eyes hard and rushes away.

YIPIN POT : After so long, I've finally made my choice.

YIPIN POT : Master, what will be your decision?

[sepdet]

Unistellar Adventures

So we left yours truly chasing a galaxy named

BODE

originally named Bode's Nebula because it was discovered by one Johan Bode in 1774 when most galaxies in most telescopes looked like smudges. (Same as in my trusty old Televue).

I overestimated the minutes of full darkness remaining and went way into twilight (see above photo) which would nuke a traditional long exposure. I hadn't read Wikipedia's entry: "Telescopes with apertures of 8 inches (20 cm) or larger are needed to distinguish structures in the [Bode] galaxy." My Unistellar is 4.5".

So how did it do? Drumroll, please...

💪💪💪

ok so it's not the Hubble Space Telescope:

…but it also costs literally 4 million times less AND has to see through a planet's wiggly atmosphere with a dumb human operator who is only the granddaughter of an actual astronomer. (Grandma would've kept track of time and gotten an even better photo.)

See, telescopes take long-exposure photos, because light from far-away sources is faint. Light sources don't emit photons (light particles) in a straight line unless they're lasers. Otherwise, photons fan out like the rays kids draw, so they hit you less frequently the farther away you are.

The Eagle Nebula, star nursery made famous by Hubble's "pillars of creation" image

Traditional backyard telescopes have lenses and mirrors to focus light on an eyepiece, but to collect light over time they also need a good camera, a camera adaptor (which I tried and failed to get for my Televue), a camera counterweight, and, most importantly, accurate orientation and a motor which moves to counter Earth's rotation and, with solar system objects, track their movements as well.

Mind you, my Televue lets me see things close by almost better than the Unistellar...

...which can't image bright Jupiter and its dim little moons at the same time (or at least I haven't heard learned how.)

But far-away galaxies, star clusters, and nebulae are faint ghosts at best in my old TeleVue, requiring good eyesight as well. Which I no longer have.

Running Man Nebula, NGC 1977, reflecting starlight from young stars within

So last year I finally shelled out the money for a fancy digital telescope that does All The Things: built-in sky atlas and navigation, motorized tracking, an app so I can not only control but view and zoom it from my largescreen iPad, and digital stacking which doesn't simply take long exposures, but multiple images which it keeps comparing to one another to sift signal from noise.

Which is why it kept working in twilight, although i'm sure that didn't add much data.

The "Outer Limits" galaxy, edge-on to us - AstronomyNow says a 12" scope is needed to see the dust lane!

Pros: Unistellar can punch considerably above its weight (size) because of digital stacking, and taught me that wow, nebulae really DO have color in visible wavelengths!

Flame Nebula, NGC 2024, vast gas cloud in Orion cradling baby stars and solar systems

Cons: Costs several months' rent, loses target lock if shaken by moderate breeze, needs to "see" stars after it turns on to orient or it can't even find the Moon, let alone a sun-grazing comet hanging low on the horizon at sunset.

Also, I miss the challenge of learning the constellations and hunting for deep-sky objects. Looking down at a touchscreen with autopilot doesn't provide the same visceral connection to the sky as looking through the eyepiece of a manually-aimed instrument.

The Eagle Nebula, middle "star" of Orion's Belt

So I need to set up my Televue to see what I can, damaged vision notwithstanding, while the Unistellar works its magic.

Oh, what about that Rosette Nebula I was chasing before I nodded off for several hours, then got distracted by BODE?

Unscientific assessment: so purty.

For more photos with this telescope, including the April eclipse, see my #unistellar tag.

[1358456]

Favorite Games

I was talking with a friend of mine and this thought occurred. What are my top 10 favorite games? So these games are those I wouldn't mind introducing to others. Now, these are games, and not franchises. So multiple games of the same franchise can make it on here.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10) Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

I absolutely love this game. But... it's from 2005, and the series has been dead for like 10 years. The last game was Blacklist that came out for the Xbox 360. Not even Xbox One. Such a shame. In order for me to play this game again, I have to run it on my old 360 that barely works, or buy it again on the Xbox marketplace. That's probably still worth it given how good this is and how cheap it is now. Super serious story of course, but there are still comic relief here and there, usually in interrogations.

Guard: "I knew it! I knew there were ninjas here!" Fisher: "What?" Guard: "You must be a ninja! How else could you sneak up and grab me like that?" Fisher: "Look, I don't know what you're-" Guard: "Wow! I can't believe it! A real, live ninja!" Fisher: "Listen, I'm going to kill you if you-" Guard: "Wow! Killed by a ninja! Cool!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9) <Redacted> 10

... At this point, it's going to be the Redacted series. ... Sure. The 10th entry of my second favorite franchise. This came out in... 2005 as well. Wow.

As much as I like the game, it's not easy for anyone new to pick up, because... story and the characters, I guess. Unless you already know the story, it's not going to be clear what's happening, why, and what comes next. And as a single player game, the AI is pretty important, and... it's very frustrating in a wide variety of ways. They spam an action that mildly annoys you, but they do it like 30 times a minute. And the AI doesn't do sh*t in combat, whether it's working for you or against you.

Unfortunately, this can no longer run on latest Windows. So I have my laptop permanently on "Test Mode" just so I can run the thing. Which means when I eventually get a desktop PC, this game will not be copied onto there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8) Hitman: World of Assassination

This game provides a lot of entertainment in very... unique ways. Sometimes, pulling off the perfect assassination is very cool and sneaky. Sabotage a heart surgery (...), make two targets kill each other, sabotage an explosive device that the target is testing out so he blows himself up, etc. Sometimes, the assassination is rather... goofy. Swap a golf ball with an explosive golf ball and watch the target blow himself up in an accident (???). Put a car battery in the washroom and overflow the sink so the target gets electrocuted in an unfortunate accident that no one could've seen coming (????). Punch the target right in the face so they fall over while strolling on extremely shallow waters so they accidentally drown. And on and on.

And of course, the classic Hitman "disguises" that... just... heh. Nothing is quite as amusing as running around in a bank, dressed as Santa Claus, carrying a big ass magnum pistol and blasting people into oblivion. Santa wants his paycheque cashed in now, damn it. Hehehe.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7) Yakuza Kiwami

The first Yakuza game to make it in here, out of 13 that I've played since 2020. Damn.

The game's great. Combat is amazing, plot is great but not as great as in 0. And Majima Everywhere does get annoying in NG+. But the start of Yakuza Kiwami is like the only time Kiryu is perfectly happy, so... ohhh... And... Haruka...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6) <Redacted> 11

Much of the same for 10. AI is very annoying, spams same dumb moves over and over because if it did literally nothing the first 15 times, surely the 16th time would...

But 11, which is from... 2006, is the game I've played the most out of every other game, including Starcraft II and Yakuza 0, and even Pokemon Gold version, whose game time maxed out.

I would very much love to start modding this, except I don't know how. Hehe... This game also only runs on my laptop thanks to the Test Mode, so... that sucks.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5) Lost Judgment: Unjudged Memories

This game's so good. Judgment too. The only downside is how long the games are. And since Judgment series only mention the mainline Yakuza games stuff in passing reference, the mainline Yakuza games are not required!

These are like the first notable cases for me where the bad guys are definitely in the bad but I understand why they're doing it. Like... in Judgment, the bad guys are covering up and continuing with lethal human experimentations to get the cure for dementia to work on humans. The serial killer himself says that at this point, they need to get this drug to work, else nothing could possibly save them. And in Lost Judgment, your ally says that there is no clear right answer here. Though that's because they don't have a correct starting point of morality, but hey. It's a crappy situation where no outcome can be a happy one.

... Though Lost Judgment does have a DLC story, and for the first time ever, that has a happy ending.

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4) Starcraft: Brood War

Ah... the game that I would love to play a lot of... if I wasn't so scared. Hehehe. Not only do you have to fight the game, you also have to fight the other guy who's in the game playing against you. And anyone who's still playing on the ladder probably has been playing the game for like 15 years at this point. If I play on the ladder, I'll just end up getting annihilated nonstop. Someone much better than I am at RTS described it as "getting cyber bullied by Koreans on the ladder".

You need like 300 APM just to manage your economy and macro properly. And with the other guy who's in the game, you now have to scout and see what they're up to and actually know what to do next. So for now, I'll just be satisfied with watching ASL, Ultimate Battles, and Major Pro Team Leagues.

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3) Yakuza 8

... Ow, my heart. The game is so fun. And long. Very long. And unlike 7 where the past games were not strictly required, in 8, all the past games are required for full comprehension. Since half of the main cast is from Yakuza 7, 7 is absolutely required. And since the other half of the game focuses on Kiryu, 0 ~ 7G are all required. So I guess this game can't really be recommended to anyone. It's a super long game that requires the player to have played all the other games in the series so far.

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2) Yakuza 0: Place of Oath

This game was so fun. I kind of wish I could go back to before I played this for the first time, just so I can enjoy it all over again. And since this game is (chronologically) the start of the series, I can actually recommend it to others and drag them into this rabbit hole too.

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1) Starcraft II

... I guess this isn't surprising at all.

The campaigns are fun to play (the story might suck but the gameplay is awesome), and with a huge influx of mods nowadays, it gets even better. Real Scale, where you either get smashed by the Protoss fleet or use the Protoss fleet to smash the enemies, Mass Recall, where you play Starcraft I campaign on the SCII engine, Randomizer, which can comically screw you over at times, Reversed Campaigns where you play the campaign missions but from the enemy's side, etc. The SCII editor is so big that you can do almost anything in it, including making a whole new game using the engine, like Heroes of the Storm.

There's also co-op, which is just a ton of fun. I don't know why people get salty on co-op missions, but some do. And of course, the multiplayer. Ladder is actually very fun. Of course there are the standard multiplayer issues, such as salty players whining about balance and spamming insults, but that doesn't say anything about the game itself, and only how sh*tty people are.

That said, I don't think I can easily recommend this game. SCII may be a lot more beginner friendly, but it's too fast for beginners.

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Whew. So, there were 2 Starcraft games, 4 Yakuza games, 2 games from my second favorite franchise, and 2 miscellaneous.

Why didn't any Pokemon games make it in? Because of course they didn't. I don't like any aspect of those games. Look at what I've been doing lately in Generation I and II. Either glitch heavy runs or challenge runs only. And I highly doubt that Yellow version was made intentionally to allow players to create various Pikachu-shaped abominations before settling them loose in the wild. The only fun I had in playing Pokemon games were when I broke the game with glitches, and RNG manipulations, neither of which are intended.

Why didn't any Halo games make it in? Because I'm not that much of a fan of FPS multiplayer games. And Halo Wars are console RTS, so they suck horribly in comparison with either Starcraft games. Which is sad, since Starcraft 1 was from 1998, and its crappy ass N64 version had more available commands for units than Halo Wars 2.

Why didn't the other Yakuza games make it in? For 2, I didn't feel anything for the personal story and the yakuza story was only decent. For 3, the combat kind of sucks, and it's now the oldest game with 1 and 2 being remade as Kiwami and Kiwami 2. Though after 7 Gaiden and 8, there's a lot of desire to go back to 3 and hang out with the kids in Morning Glory. ... Kiwami 3 when? For 4, the plot kind of... meh. 5 was far too long and the yakuza story did not make a lick of sense, seeing as how the final boss doesn't even know why he's the final boss. 6 has gameplay issues and the yakuza story kind of sucks. 7 is fine and just narrowly didn't make it in. 7 Gaiden is way too short and doesn't have NG+. Ishin is a rather strange spinoff. And Judgment can get a bit frustrating with the combat and the Keihin Gang.

And my second favorite franchise... heh. I'll keep it redacted for as long as no one recognizes it. "Heh. It's all right. Everyone has secrets." ... Even though I don't particularly have a reason to keep it secret.

[dsumps]

WOW! It has been how long?

For a second there, I thought I left the internet for real. Nah, turns out when the whole world panics about the death of a platform, somehow everyone returns the next week like nothing’s happened. Despite migrating my followed content on my other platforms, I STILL ended up using Twitter the most in viewing online content.How could I stop? Everyone still uses that platform to some degree. Despite this, I did promise that Tumblr would be my new place for posts (clearly followed up on that order :P), and I still haven’t (and won’t) post another thing on that platform for god knows how long.

Sooo, how have I been (if that even matters to you)? 

I’ve been fine, I got through my first year of college at ASU, and overall I’m just been chilling with the inactivity. The most I ever post online is through my personal Instagram, which for obv reasons, I won’t be sharing. Besides that its been scroll, like, next platforn, scroll, like,... the usual.

It’s been sort of nice to be afk from the constant active schedule, especially when there are important things to worry about than being on social media. I honestly don’t know how some of y’all do it better, haha. 

How about the art? Where’s the art?

I really did leave the blog hanging with the doodle sharing. There’s still several pages of sketches there, but I haven’t really drawn in like... a year. Again, college had me on a chokehold, and will again once next semester begins, so I haven’t really done much creatively for awhile. I MIGHT, but I don’t promise. Social media for me, isn’t much of a priority than living for real life, which pretty much defines my reason for inactivity. Not that I don’t care about it, otherwise this account would’ve been deleted long ago.

Any new interests / miscellaneous section?

This is just to update y’all about my current interests and such. Pretty much realized through the past year that I don’t like Pokémon as much as I thought. During Gen 8, I made it an effort to become engulfed into the currents of the games, anime, media, etc... and honestly it was a hassle, and I hated it, especially on Twitter. I pretty much learned that the only thing I actually cared about were the various Pokémon themselves. Especially apparent from my ever-growing collection of plushes that I dedicate to once in a while. It’s a massive money waster, but god do I love it. My recent favorite is the Cult of the Lamb plush I had to order in under a minute before being sold out. That was a fun experience, and I know I’ve sneaked him into several ASU promotional material. Funny I mention that, because I haven’t really played video games either since college. 

If there is ONE thing I do have current interest in, that would be this one small show you may have heard of this show I’m not sure if you know this show so ill show you the show so you know its a little show called Bluey. I’ve been obsessed with this show since the end of my winter break, funny enough initial interest came from watching TikTok's of people (jokingly, I hope) to compete with 6 y/olds for Bluey plushes at Target. I guess i’ve liked too many of these posts for TikTok to start sharing full episodes on my page, and I've never been the same since. I’ve caught up with the series, and I gotta say it’s one of my favorite current pieces of animated media to come out as of late. Without saying too much, this show made me question many aspects of my life several times to where I could say I’ve actually learned how to better myself a bit. It’s crazy to me that a goddamn toddler program from Australia is actively teaching me morals at age 19, but here we are, I guess. 

Will there be Bluey in this blog? maybe, but I plan on posting Bluey related content on another blog @dsumpsbluey For now, my primary blog will share primarily Pokémon, art, and Pokémon art; not that I’m gatekeeping Bluey, but I got something planned for that other blog (plans, I’m totally great with those). Other than that, that’s pretty much it with what’s up with me. Sorry for being inactive for as long as I did, real life just caught up to me that’s all. Hopefully if you’re still reading this, you realize my current position of my blog. Just know that unless specified by me, this blog isn’t dead. Good day, or night, and until the next post.

[ihavemanymentalissues]

H AHVE BEEN WATING FOR THIS!! I HAVE THREE!!

1)

what the fuck are you doing? oh shit evil morty! should i get the net?!?! yes! hang tight, morty's getting the net is this what i think it is? of course it is. everything is what i think it is. you're basically fracking the central finite curve to flush out a version of yourself. shouldn't you be turning yourself into a pickle? what do you care what i do to the curve, i thought your whole thing was fucking off. certainly what made me a fan you're right. i don't live here. which is why its insane that you're still bugging me. damn the shockwaves have more range than i thought. jesus. you ever heard a compliment. a monkey humping a shotgun had more range than he thought. look at this scan array. don't touch! why would i touch it when i don't want it improved?! improved?! you're hitting infinite targets. at least filter for probability statis. i was gonna- duh

2)

Wow, another adventure where I went up an ass. Oh, good, are we having this fight again? L-let me guess, y-you’re gonna leave or, or throw a sulking fit? You think you know everything, Rick, but you’re basically just a giant 8-year-old. I’m not doing this anymore. Either you’re in or you’re out, Morty. I’m tired of you weaponizing this half-assed threat. You want out, then fucking quit! You know what, you’re right. Sorry to be such a high-maintenance Morty. Why don’t I get you a drink?

3)

Looks like there’s enough of you to start the next ride! That or just one really heavy Rick. This whole thing is automated, which I do point out specifically to enhance the humiliation. Here we go!

If you’re seeing this, you’re me, except, you know, less. But you acted like you were better, so I killed your beloved Diane. Partly to devastate you, mostly so I only have to record one message. Some of you may have noticed that it’s not just your Diane that’s gone. She’s also been erased from every universe across infinity. And you might be wondering why. I’d rather hear how. Diane was wiped from all existence by The Weapon Too Cool for a Name. The Omega Device. Known to inferiors as The Omega Device. I heard the name from an inferior. And it’s my weapon. But it’s your fault I had to use it on her. So if you want to see the Rick that ruined your life, look around. There’s so many of you. But that’s why I want to make a deal. One of you is going to get your Diane back. He’s lying. He’s lying! All you have to do is be the last Rick left.

What is your personal funniest moment from Rick and Morty?

It can be a one-liner, a scene, anything!

[aliensunflower-fics]

CHANGING FACES Chapter 1: How We Got Here.

[ Prefer to Read on Archive of Our Own? Click HERE for the link ]

[ Other Works By Me -  Next Chapter ]

After years of dealing with each other Lila Rossi win's when she convinces Hawkmoth that Marinette is Ladybug. In order to throw off suspicion and keep the Miracle Box safe Marinette and her supportive parents leave Paris and head to Gotham of all places. In this new place away from her friends and her unhealthy routines Marinette is forced to confront herself and change for the better. Helping her on her journey is a surprising new friend and potential ally. When Alya missing her friend learns about the chance to win a free trip to Gotham she convinces the class to work hard to qualify. When her new life clashes with her old one will Marinette be able to hold on strong to her new confidence or will she crumble under the pressure?

( This fic will be for the most part comedic, fluffy, and sweet, with only a bit of seriousness to tie it together. With only the mildest salt because I don't think the class or Adrien are bad people just that they can be naive and selfish thanks to the canon writing. I hope you enjoy reading this work and have fun with me on this journey. )

Marinette felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she clutched onto her parents and sobbed. She felt like her world was collapsing and yet she desperately held herself back from despair. The bakery that had once made the best pastries in all of Paris bringing smiles and warmth to those who needed it on rainy days, the house that had carried Marinette through her youth with her ever changing height etched into one of the doorways, the pink room that held precious memories of friends and fights and tears and laughter, the balcony that had seen many a hero visit it. All of it was gone. The wild flames devoured every bit of the precious structure. Worse still this was not the work of an akuma, not something that could be undone with a magic swarm of ladybugs, but worse than the permanence of this act was the person behind it. As Marinette’s parents pulled her closer comforting her and themselves the young hero wondered how she was supposed to tell them that Hawkmoth was targeting her?

CHAPTER 1:

How We Got Here

 Lila Rossi had always been an ambitious girl, she knew she was beautiful and prettier than other girls when her father got her that first modeling gig at 6 years old for a well known children's brand. She knew she could act and get what she wanted at 8 when she starred in several commercials, she wowed those behind the camera with her poise and charm!

 Lila knew she just KNEW that she was born to be a star! When at 10 she won a National beauty pageant and they placed the massive sparkly crown on her head while her father stood beside her beaming with pride. Sure the gems were fake but someday she vowed to get real ones!

 Her father always told her how much better she was, he never disciplined her, never worried about her grades, he only expected her to be her best whenever a camera was pointed her way. He treated her like the Princess she was. And shielded her from her mom's constant criticism about her ‘academic’ performance and her concerns over Lila ‘being too thin for her age’ and her constant whining about being ‘kinder’ to her annoying ugly classmates.

 His most important lessons were not the ones about her stance, walk, or looks. No, the most important lessons he taught her were how to use those around her, common people were just tools designed and made to be useful to those better and smarter than them and if they were not useful? Then they had to be removed.

 Her father had ‘removed’ many useless people from her path. He had blackmailed, scared, and tricked those around him his whole life all while wearing a dashing smile on his perfect handsome face. Beautiful clever people like them were meant for better lives, he told Lila, building her dreams for fame, fortune and a life on an easy street. Grades and hard work would never get her anywhere in a world that valued connections, beauty and money. 

 And for years Lila followed her father without hesitation, she lied and schemed and made connections. And whenever she messed up her daddy was there to fix it with a well placed lie and some cash. Lila had hardly needed to try in school for years with her fathers help and a few well placed lies the gullible idiots were always there to help! Teachers and classmates were always a sucker for her story of how ‘she never had many friends due to her mama's career’.  Her life was easy, and the fact that her mothers job made the family move so frequently only helped Lila get away with everything after all teachers notes about her behavior got lost between borders and languages easily!

 Life was great, and it would have stayed that way if she hadn’t made a mistake. At 13 Lila was living in Gotham, a disgusting place full of horrible people and a penchant for crime. But under all the grit and grime of the city was a gem Lila quickly set her eyes on. She went to the right school, studied her target carefully, and then she played the perfect role until her prey was caught. Her father had burst into laughter with a proud grin on his face as Lila told him of her glorious success. If they played their cards carefully they would be living the easy life soon enough.

 But Lila had slipped up, she had thought her victory was assured and let her mask slide at just the wrong time. The result was a messy breakup with her golden ticket, one Lila did not take well she bit off more than she could chew and next thing she knew there was a lawsuit. It should have worked out like everything always did, her dad should have fixed it with money and a charming smile. But that didn’t happen, instead her father's lies were exposed. His several illegal get rich quick schemes were brought to light along with his bribery and blackmail.

 Lila’s mother was horrified and in order to survive the scrutiny that became aimed her way Lila had no choice but to fake her shock and horror as well, leaning on her mothers trust to sneak through. She had to bite her tongue as her father was dragged to jail and her mother divorced him and applied for a transfer. Lila’s life fell apart and her dreams of fame and fortune were severely set back with her fathers connections severed. But Lila was not so easily defeated. She always wins in the end ALWAYS. So as her mother ushered her onto a plane set for Paris France Lila schemed. 

 France as it turned out was perfect for Lila, the presence of Hawkmoth meant that most people acted extra gullible and ‘kind’ and with a weakness that big all Lila needed to do was find the right people to exploit and she’d be back on track. A quick look at the biggest fashion brands with headquarters in Paris soon led to one of her favorites Gabriel, one of the best of the best, and a quick look at the Gabriel’s brand on the internet led to his teenage son. A blonde boy that was JUST Lila’s taste and just her age, from Adrien Agreste’s instagram she soon found his school and classmates and it was the perfect jackpot. 

 Adrien attended an extremely exclusive school the cream of the crop attended, the students were either rich or talented enough to earn scholarships. Lurking through Adrien Agrestes pictures Lila learned about his classmates and it only got better. Nino Lahiffe a musician and wannabee film director who had won a few amateur competitions getting his name out there. Alya Cesaire, a teenager running the most successful blog in Paris with one of the few exclusive interviews with the hero Ladybug. Chloe Bourgeois the mayor's beloved daughter. The rest of the class was just as impressive, a few sports fanatics, a couple musicians, some super nerd who made a sentient robot, some loser who was making superhero comics? Apparently they were popular so whatever. Some girl who apparently won a hat competition with a hideous bowler hat with a feather? A wannabe model who had pictures of herself wearing clothes from a photoshoot she did that Lila would DIE for. But most infuriating was the up and coming actress of the class she had starred in several commercials after Nino’s award winning amateur short films had her starring in a leading role, Lila had to take a deep breath and remind herself that if things went the way she planned that would soon be HER and not some chubby little charity loving wimp.

 Getting her mother to agree to enroll her into Collège Françoise Dupont was easy, if anything her mother was delighted and happy to see Lila taking her education so seriously that she’d looked into schools all by herself. Lila only put on a fake smile and told her mother that she needed a good education if she was going to become a woman half as impressive as her mom. That got Lila’s annoyance of a mother to fold like a deck of cards and she called the same day to book a tour of the school and a meeting with the faculty to discuss her daughters placement and safety after all the whole ‘akuma’ situation bothered Delia Rossi greatly when it came to the safety of her daughter.

 Getting her mother to take her to the school tour and meeting was just as easy as getting her to call and the second they arrived Lila began hunting for the teacher who would help get her what she wanted. While she could still access Agreste and his classmates from another class it would be easier if she could be in the same class and for that she needed to find and meet with his teacher a woman mentioned in a few of his and his classmates posts for being the ‘best’ teacher they apparently even through her parties to celebrate how kind and great she was. Gag. But hopefully if she was as sweet as she said she’d also be just as stupid. Kind people were ALWAYS stupid. 

 Luckily sneaking away wasn’t hard. The second they entered their meeting with the Principle Lila knew she’d thrive in the school. The fat man was clearly nothing but a bumbling fool and the way he bent over to try and please Lila’s mother due to her status and wealth made it clear he was someone easy to use. However when he introduced Lila’s teacher a Ms. Mendeleiev Lila could tell she would only give her trouble. The woman was stiff, serious and oozed no nonsense this would not do at all so Lila acted fast, batting her eyes and asking in an excited tone if she could explore the school while her mom and Damocles continued talking. 

 The second the office door closed behind her Lila dropped her fake smile and went on the hunt. No way was she going to Ms.Mendeleleiv’s class. Luckily Adrien Agrerste and his classmates loved posting pictures on there stupid little instagrams and using them she quickly tracked down the classroom. Luckily she had gotten her mother to plan the meeting for the lunch period of a school day which meant that the person Lila wanted to see was in her class eating lunch. Now all Lila needed to do was convince Caline Bustier that Lila Rossi should be in her class. Putting on an innocent smile Lila shyly knocked on Bustier's open door. 

 Getting the redheaded teacher on her side had been easy. Almost TOO easy. It was like the whole of Paris was filled with gullible morons just waiting for Lila to give them a proper use. By the end of the lunch period Caline Bustier had gone back to the office with Lila to talk her mother and Damocles into putting Lila into her class. And all Lila had to do to get Caline to dance to her tune was play the role of the shy sweet perfect girl who had just lost her father and moved to a strange new city, slipping in how she was the daughter of a powerful woman and sprinkling in details about her many accomplishments in the acting scene as well as her hard won pageants only seemed to make Bustiers eyes gleam with greed. Lila soon figured her out, it seemed Caline Bustier liked to collect the cream of the crop for her class and now she wanted to add Lila to her jewel set. It worked out well so Lila let it happen.

 With everything set up Lila waited eagerly for her first day of class ready to take a seat on her new throne and command her new subjects to help build her an untouchable career filled with fame and wealth. Even if she was using them they should thank her after all by helping her with her career they would be helping their own careers after all Lila needed them to succeed so that she could succeed. If anything they should thank her for selecting them. As Lila headed to bed that night she could not help the grin that slid onto her face. Losing her dearest father had been a blow but Lila would still conquer the world. Just like they had always planned.

Sadly. In every kingdom there is a fire starter. Someone who doesn’t know their place. Lila had met many of them on her journey to the top. In the past her father would have taken care of them but now Lila was on her own and she wasn’t dealing with just one but two.

 Ladybug, the local hero who Lila should never have had the displeasure of meeting face to face, had ruined her shot at wrapping Adrien Agreste around her finger. Worse still Lila’s mother had dragged her back to italy after learning of Lila’s akumatization. It had taken Lila awhile to convince her mother that she was not only safe but remembered nothing of the incident. She also needed to lie about the real reason for the incident claiming that she’d been akumatized after she lost her fathers gift necklace. Luckily while she convinced her mother to head back to Paris Caline Buster the gullible woman that she was let Lila video chat with the class and weave them a pretty lie about her mothers work taking her somewhere much more exotic then her grandparents stupid apple tree farm. 

 However during her second ‘first day’ at her new school Lila met her second rival. Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Lila was shocked by the influence she held over the others in class. Her social media profiles made her seem like a nervous shy wreck who could trip over her own feet any second. Yet apparently she was some fashion designer wannabee and class president. Lila soon learned that Marinette held power and popularity and Lila knew she needed her GONE asap if she was going to succeed. 

 But things just kept getting in her way, after getting Marinette booted out of the school Adrien had interfered he’d offered Lila a good deal, worse she still had hopes of making the blonde idiot her’s and since he was ALL about friendship and forgiveness she needed to play the part for him. So she let Marinette slink back to school and prepared herself for their battle. Lila would get rid of Marinette and Ladybug one way or another.

 It took years to hatch the perfect scheme. As seasons changed and Lila got older, her brilliant plan had half succeeded. Now at 16 years old if you looked in magazines or out your window at billboards it wasn’t just Adrien Agreste’s face anymore. No Lila was there too now acting as THE face for Gabriel’s young womens fashion line. Her mother had stopped complaining once Lila’s grades went up which was easy to achieve when she could pay, guilt, or manipulate someone into doing her homework for her or worse come she could use Bustier and Damocles to fix her grades. After all having a supermodel with a mother in Politics looked good for the school and helped bring in donations from wealthy parents so her grades should reflect that.

 But despite how well things were going the thorn in her side had remained. Ladybug continued to be an annoyance that dominated Adrien’s focus. While Marinette continued to ruin her schemes. When they were 13 Lila had tried spreading rumors and lies but Marinette kept disproving them with her perfect little good girl act. At 14 Lila upgraded to sabotaging Marinette making sure she missed parties, deadlines, she even destroyed a dress commission Marinette claimed was for some big shot called Penny Rolling? Yeah Lila had never heard of a Penny Rolling in rock music, what a pathetic lie. Annoyingly however Marinette bounced back when she missed parties the class waved it off as Marinette being busy being ‘awesome’ when she missed deadlines she somehow still came through and the big dress commission Lila destroyed? Marinette somehow salvaged it and Lila saw it on a magazine cover a week later.

 At 15 Lila and Marinette entered a cold war period. Lila had one to many close calls where Marinette almost exposed her and with her job at Gabriel Lila wasn’t going to risk it. However that didn’t mean things were peaceful. Lila had learned she could weaponize her classmates. They were kind gullible idiots but if there was something Lila had learned it was that they were all a little selfish. All of them had big ambitions and goals in life and the talent to back them up its why Lila had chosen them in the first place as thanks to their talent she’d appeared in a few of Nino’s award winning short films which got her commercial work, she’d also used Alya’s blog to create a booming social media presence for herself, through Kitty Section Lila got to meet several music people. But in order to be as successful as they were, the class sometimes made selfish requests of each other and Lila was able to manipulate that. Marinette was crushed under the weight of demands she could never bring herself to say ‘no’ to. Lila even heard from Alya that Marinette had closed her websites commissions just to help her class. The stupid designers dreams got stalled thanks to her ‘kindness’ while Lila’s career took off toward the stars.

 But now at 16 Lila was done playing with Marinette she needed her GONE. Marinette was a threat to her career and her kingdom but the real straw that broke the camel's back was when Marinette used one of Lila’s own lies against her forcing her to back down from starring in one Nino’s newest short films, and giving the role to that dumpy little goody brat Mylene. The film had gone on to win international awards and Mylene had been given a job offer for a tv show. Lila had seen red at that and knew that she had been playing nice too long Marinette needed to go.

 Luckily Lila had learned a few new tricks. Getting rid of Marinette directly would endanger her if things went wrong. She’d seen that first hand with her father. No, the best way to get rid of a threat was to have someone else do it for you and luckily Lila had made friends in very high places. Hawkmoth was a pathetic villain with a losing streak so long it was embarrassing to call him an ally but, Lila found it handy to keep the butterfly obsessed villain on her side.And now he was going to help her greatly. Lila had for years noticed the similarities between Ladybug and Marinette mostly in how they kept interfering in her life. Now did Lila actually believe they were the same person? No, Marinette was too much of a cowardly little mouse to be the bold Ladybug not to mention they looked nothing alike… Not that Lila could actually remember what Ladybug looked like when she tried to think about it. But whatever the point was, Hawkmoth was desperate and Marinette was the perfect person to point his way. 

 It only took 30 minutes for Lila to convince Hawkmoth to look into Marinette between the girls track record at never being akumatized her constant absences whenever Ladybug was around. And all the other lies Lila came up with to make Marinette seem more suspicious then she was Hawkmoth was convinced to check in on Marinette. After that Hawkmoth and Lila met a few more times each time Lila pushed him a little farther and whispered in his ear some more fake evidence until finally she got him right where she wanted him. It was a simple suggestion, an idea she acted like she’d only just had and not one she’d been plotting for months. 

 “Why not burn down the house? If she is Ladybug and hiding the other miraculous there she will have to reveal the hiding place in order to retrieve them from the rubble?” When Hawkmoth answered in silence before pulling back his butterfly from Lila breaking there connection and conversation she knew she’d made her mark.   

 Sure enough a few days later Lila turned on the news to be met with a delightful sight. The best bakery in all of Paris was burning down to the ground in an uncontrollably wild blaze. For the next few hours firefighters fought back the fire but by the time it was done burning there was hardly anything left. The family was sadly unharmed as it turns out Marinette and her parents were having a family night which included a trip to the new horror movie hitting theaters. Lila bit her lip annoyed as she’d hoped Hawkmoths unhinged frame of mind would have him remove Marinette permanently as with her home burned there was still a chance she would return to school and continue being a pest.

 The following monday however Lila learned her plan had still worked just fine as a heartbroken Alya sobbed into Lila’s shoulder that Marinette’s parents had decided they could no longer handle the stress of living in Paris and were moving back to Tom’s childhood home in America. Lila had to fight to keep the grin of victory off her lips as she rubbed Alya’s back and made fake promises that it would all be okay and that surely her and Marinette would stay bff’s even with the distance. The look of Adrien looking confused and heartbroken only delighted Lila more. With Marinette gone Lila would finally be able to do what she set out to do 3 years ago. She would replace her and become the one everyone loved and listened to. 

Lila had finally won.

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( Life’s been stressful and busy but I’m happy I can finally post the first chapter of this big dumb stupid idea. I hope you guys are eager for more! )

[satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Legacy of the Green Ninja” E2: Pirates Vs. Ninja

Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy.

- Intro ✅

- Soto writes in his journal vertically ❌

- Actual dr*nk pirate in a kids show ❌

- “… the fabled Island of Darkness.” Foreshadowing ✅

- First 2 minutes of a kids show depicts a pirate crew dying violently at sea… maybe this is why they were allowed to show the dr*nk guy ❌

- “Woah, grasshopper!” Grasshopper ✅

- “How about some target practice? On Kai!” If Kai’s the target, then why is Cole wearing the bowl on his head? ❌

- Wait is someone actually allowing Ultra Dragon to perch on their roof, or is Nya sitting him here without the building owner’s consent? ❌

- “Like a magic portal?” Was that another voice swap?!? Godd*mmit, I thought we left these in season 1! ❌

- “Keep up with him you slithering idiots!” They don’t slither - they have legs! ❌

- I know why Garmadon can’t hurt Ultra, but give me one reason as to why Ultra can’t just turn around and blow the ship up ❌

- “This crew sounds like they knew how to fly a ship!” They gave the wheel to the dude with no eyes ❌

- “Welcome to Grand Sensei Dareth’s Mojo Dojo.” No. ❌

- Look, Dareth gets better in later seasons. I enjoy him in Crystalized and Prime Empire and stuff, but early Dareth? I wanna snap his spine like a KitKat.

- ^ How does Dareth untangled himself from those bead things that easily without them getting tangled into each other? Maybe Dareth is really the master of beads… or balls? ⬇️

- ^ yeah, that adds up

- “How many trophies do you have?” 30 something-year old man makes fun of an 8 year old for literally no reason ❌

- “… Lord Garmadon destroyed the Devourer.” I’m only gonna mention this briefly since I’ll go into more detail during season 8 but Garmadon never would’ve been able to do sh*t against the Devourer had it not been for the ninja trapping it. ❌

- ^ I’m living for the hand gestures Kai makes during this scene ✅

- “It only has the power to create!” Or it only works when you say “I wish.” You didn’t say that with Ultra, but you did say it with the pirates. Look, all I’m saying is Garmadon comes to this conclusion a bit too quickly ❌

- Taking a villain that’s bent on destruction and equipping him with a weapon that can’t destroy anything but can only create stuff is a genuinely interesting concept. Personally, I just wish it was done better than it was, because it had a lot of potential that I felt wasn’t really lived up to. ❌

- “But instead of 10 boards, how about 50?” End me now please ❌

- Also, Jeffy and Phil are literally just Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Usually, I’d win this like I do with most references but this is a sin because f*ck JK R*wling ❌

- “I don’t like the kid coming along.” The kid ✅

- “Please, please, please? I’ll be super good!” He’s just a little guy :( ✅

- The ninja think it’d be too dangerous to take Lloyd with them, so they decide to leave him alone on a public bus that could travel anywhere around the city? ❌

- “Pajama man!” PAJAMA MAN ✅

- “Dang it, Dareth!” A slightly more PG version of what I would say

- Did they actually have the money to pay for these costumes or did they legit steal them? ❌

- Jay literally looks Kai up and down and says “wow.” Bisexual Jay canon? ✅

- “We have to save him.” “We can’t get close enough without blowing our cover!” Kai thinks their cover is more important than Dareth. I mean, I agree, but still ❌

- “who here wants to see him go splat?” ME!

- “Who here wants to see him live!” *confused pirate noises* ✅

- Also, neither Jay nor Kai speak up when Jay says that. Again, I agree, but these guys are supposed to be the heroes! ❌

- Where are Zane and Cole throughout the entire plank scene? ❌

- “More pajama men?” “Where? I can’t see!” Are jokes about blind people forgetting they’re blind similar to when bilingual characters “forget to switch” which language they’re speaking in? ❌

- “Ninja vs pirates… who will win?” I still think that the fact that we didn’t get a definitive answer to this question is the soul reason for why Skybound was made. I’m gonna let you all decide if that’s a sin or win.

- Since when does Zane use smoke bombs? ❌

- Okay who put a gum ball machine on the Bounty and why???? ❌

- “Jay!” Okay, but I’m with Jay on this one. If y’all are gonna be dumb enough to actually fall a victim to this gum ball thing I think you deserve the face the consequences ❌

- Lloyd just completely took Zane out I’m- ✅

- Kai puts Lloyd upside down in a BARREL because surely that’s safe /s ❌

- “I just did Spinjitzu for the first time!” Why does this line delivery remind me of the dialogue from Dora the Explorer? ❌

- I know we established that Lloyd can harness all four elements of creation, but this energy ball/green power thing really did just come out of nowhere, didn’t it? ❌

- “Your powers are too uncontrollable!” Cole wants to warn Lloyd so bad that he astral projects his voice through Kai to do so ❌

- Annndddd Nya just tore the sail ❌

- “You’re getting stronger son, but you’ll never be strong enough to defeat me! Give up, before it’s too late!” Well this dynamic seems a little… different compared to the last time we saw it? ❌

- Also, shouldn’t Lloyd be getting punished for this? He was told not to come because it’s dangerous (and it is) and he ignored them and went anyway. He seriously could’ve gotten killed! I’m not saying he needs to be grounded for life or anything but the ninja should explain to him why he shouldn’t have come. ❌

- I’m sorry I love the way they’re all staring affectionately at Lloyd. Like, he’s their little brother and they love him and ahhhh ✅

Sentence: Dareth

[radley-writes]

hello! do you have any advice for plotting, at all? :D

Indeed, I do!

I call myself 'a discovery writer', by which I mean I fully plot out every single novel, get 1/8 of the way through, throw all that hard work in the bin, and sally off on a choose-your-own-adventure game, replotting as I go. Toot toot.

So, I can plot! I just can't stick to it.

Here's what helps me!

Disclaimer: Don't feel obligated to follow my advice. In fact, if you take one look at it and go '...nah', please don't follow my advice - you'd be doing yourself a massive disservice! There are plenty of other how-to guides out here!

But without further ado... PLOTTING WITH RADLEY!

1) Know where you want to go.

Before creating characters, a world, or indeed anything, I figure out a couple things:

First! The vibes.

What tone do I want from this tale? When readers put down the book, what feelings should linger in their chest?

This goes hand-in-hand with figuring out your target audience and genre, but it's a little more abstract. I usually scrawl down a list of aesthetics, emotions, tropes & key concepts that I want to shine!

So: for Strictly, the list would look something like:

Empowered, angry, hopeful, urban deprivation, class contrasts, city lights at night, smoking rubble, big guns and motorbikes

Whereas for Dressage Dragons, we might have:

Fun, complex family bonds, extravagant wealth, grudging friends, dry tinderland in summer, dusty heaths, one spark away from a forest fire...

Second! The ending.

I always, always, always know my climax, before I go in. I need to know what I'm aiming for! Even if my entire plot twists around on itself as I write, that climactic final scene stays the same.

What's the big WOW image at the end that I want to stick in readers' heads? A huge cinematic fight? A devastating betrayal? An agonising choice?

Third! Character beats!

I work out each character's plot-purpose before I flesh them out as people. That way, you get interesting, well-rounded characters whose role in the story feels organic - rather than incredibly well thought-out, deep characters who you then have to build a plot around!

Some people find it easier to work in the other direction. I totally get why - if your characters only exist to hit plot points, they might wind up reading less as 'people', more as 'balls in a giant game of ping-pong'.

My trick is to only paint the bold strokes of their story. I still leave the characters space to develop naturally as I write, but from the moment they're conceived, I know they're going to be the sort of person who, say, will choose vengeance over saving a friend, but will feel horribly guilty about it, change their mind, and go back to save their friend in the nick of time, just before it's too late.

(Or I just plot out their arcs fully, and then ignore all of this as I write 😎)

Generally, I like to look at the climactic end scene, get a vague idea for who the characters involved might be, and work backwards from that point to figure out how they wound up there - and what they lost or gained along the way!

2) get visual!

I never plot on a laptop. I have a load of big old sketchbooks, so I open 'em up and mindmap it out.

A word document will encourage you to think in a very linear, coherent, chronological sort of way.

My brain is none of those things.

So, I toss shit at a wall (metaphorically) and see what sticks. I splooge ideas onto a big sheet of paper, then get out the red thread and thumbtacks and piece it all together.

(exclusive candid image of my plotting process ^^^)

It's so easy to get stuck when you're staring at a blank word document. Lying belly-down on the floor, grabbing sparkly glitter pens and crayons, and going to town on a big sheet of paper? Far easier. Tap into your inner three-year-old and watch the magic happen.

3) Don't be afraid to let an idea marinate.

I'm currently writing two books I've had on my backburner since I was 11. It wasn't 'the time' for those books then. It is now.

There's no rush, unless you're on a contractual deadline. If you can't wrangle a plot together, there’s no shame in putting it in the slow cooker and letting it simmer while you focus on something shinier!

That's all, folks~

Best of luck!

[rigelmejo]

I just found thus series of famous stories but "in vernacular" as I was browsing the 儿童故事 section of a site

And wow! This is the first time I've been able to read The Monkey King and follow it! I also put it through zhtool to check difficulty and it's 1.9, which to us means it's a bit easier to read than 盗墓笔记 and a bit harder to read than 小王子, it's on the easier side overall. These vernacular versions are about as hard as kids books for 8-11 year olds like the 笑猫日记 series or 梦幻小公主 series, so quite readable if you're past the stage of graded readers in chinese but webnovels for older teens and adults still have a frustrating amount of unknown words.

I'm also curious if this version of Dream of The Red Chamber has as many bi people as the original story has. On the one hand if it's mainly a simplified language story then it would retain that. On the other hand, it definitely parsed down the chapters so a lot was probably cut out, and in addition if the target audience was kids then I don't know what they may have felt an audience need to cut or change (such as less deaths or violence or intense political details potentially, or less queerness etc many things could fall under the umbrella of things cut for simplification and target audience... I read a Pleco graded reader of The Butterfly Lovers and... that story could've kept a lot more lets say lol ToT).

Anyway, I recommend checking them out! If you feel like this reading level range and want to look into these stories more, a vernacular simplification is going to be a bit more approachable than original form. However, there are graded reader forms of these stories, so with simplification to the stories either way I'm not sure if these have much more detail than a graded reader (though at the very least these seem longer).

西游记白话文 Journey to the West Vernacular

三国演义白话文 The Three Kingdoms Vernacular (note there's a lot of similar adaptations)

红楼梦白话文 Dream of Red Chamber

Also feel like mentioning it again, while I don't prefer Microsoft Edge pretty much any other time, I do really like it for reading. Especially on my phone. It has a Read Aloud tool that has the nicest TTS I've ever heard, so I can read along to audio, replay lines and words. It also has the usual click-translation feature all mobile internet browsers seem to have, and a quick setting to change the text size to larger making reading easier on the eyes. For reading chinese I've noticed for me at least it makes the visuals easier on me and it's got the best TTS hands down (I wish Pleco and Moonreader could be set to use Microsofts TTS cause it sounds so much better than other TTS by magnitudes). If you install Microsoft Word app on your phone (or have it on your computer), you can also just paste any text into Word to use the Read Aloud feature because it's also in Word. On the computer it has a lot of nice visual aids like highlighting only the paragraph or sentence it's Read Aloud going through, like changing between like 7+ very good TTS voices based on your preference.