#you start to pick up on the lingo eventually

[sparkystarlight]

Doing some light reading on a medical condition my sister has tentatively self-dx with and realizing I can mostly understand and pronounce all the medical science-y jargon they're throwing around

[alfredosauce50]

Ok I think I’ve thought of my birthday headcanons (they’re lowkey not even good 😭) but IDC. None are character specific so go with your gut 🩷 (also side note: idk if you remember back in like 2015 when authors would do that thing where ppl give brief descriptions of themselves and then they’d give a character to ship you with or not but I feel like that might be a good idea for engagement. But idk I’m also stupid so maybe not 💀 It’s less effort than headcanons and one-shots methinks. ANYWAY)

1. Learning a different language (español?? 🥺) to impress you 😛

2. Idk how to request this but just one where I’m a zookeeper 😓

3. Date where they try to teach you how to drive but it kinda goes wrong (I’m so bad at driving 💔)

4. Being the foil (or enabler) to shopping addicted gf

Ik these are kinda specific to me but… IT’S FOR MY BIRTHDAY 🥺 you’re also a day ahead of me so if you get it done Thursday then I won’t even know the difference 😽

OK TY 🫶 MWAH

Learning a language for you

Alfred

In the beginning, he’ll learn simple phrases and say them to you for shits and giggles. But as the relationship gets more serious, he’ll want to get fluent to connect with you on a deeper level. Alfred will study regularly and hold conversations with you in your native tongue to practice his speaking. He’s a natural at learning languages to the point that it’s shocking. He can even nail the four Chinese intonations, so imagine just how easy Spanish is for him as an English speaker. Fast forward a few years, and he’ll be speaking rapid-fire Spanish with you like a native.

Mathias

Like Alfred, he’ll start with beginner-level words before eventually going pro. It may take him a little longer to get it down pat, but he needs to be a part of your culture to feel close to you. He will sit down with you and repeat sentences for you until he gets it right. He also finds Spanish very sexy, so if you ever talk dirty to him he wants to be able to understand you. Mathias may want you to learn Danish for him in return, and if you do, he will be on his knees. You could even say he’s very sex-motivated, but if you asked him, he just wants to be the perfect partner for you.

Allen

Believe it or not, he’s already fluent in Spanish. He just never talks about it. Apart from knowing his native language, he’s always lived around Spanish-speakers. And as a person who is deeply involved with his community, it’s a given that he will eventually catch onto the local lingo. After learning about where you’re from, he’ll randomly come up to you one day and drop a whole-ass sentence in Spanish before walking off again. Allen does this to get your undivided attention, and it works like a charm even after the first time. Otherwise, he will occasionally speak Spanglish.

Matt

He’s terrible at learning languages, and it’s even harder for him when it’s not one of his special interests. So he may just like other aspects of your culture, i.e., the food, but he won’t put a lot of effort into it. You can take advantage of this by talking shit about him in Spanish in front of him. Matt may not understand what you said, but he’ll know you’re mad at him. But as the years go by, he’ll want to take it seriously and study in secret. He doesn’t want you to know just how much he’s trying for you, and also because he might not even get good at it. But he’ll get it one day.

When he falls into a zoo enclosure

I have no clue how to do this one but here’s one with Matt 💀

Matt

He’s too clever and self-aware to ever fall into a zoo enclosure, but he would no doubt try and save someone who did. Especially a small child. He will jump over the fencing, swim across the moat, pick them up and run to safety, but more importantly, before an innocent animal gets put down. He will literally put himself between a bear and armed men like Owen Grady from Jurassic World. After the situation simmers down, you’re treating him for the few injuries he’s sustained, and it’s the most interesting conversation you’ve ever had. He’s clearly got a few screws loose, but he’s the one who thinks everybody else is crazy.

When he teaches you how to drive

Alfred

He’s not a perfect teacher, but he really does try. Some days, you pick up on things fast and well, but on other days, he’s like Noah teaching Allie how to drive a truck. You two are screaming at each other and he doesn’t care to hide how he feels about your lack of driving skills. Alfred can have short fuse when it comes to what he can’t relate to or empathize with, but at the same time, he’s sensitive toward what he can. Needless to say, he will apologize and encourage you to keep learning from him because he has faith in you. If you can do everything else, you can drive a car.

Mathias

He’s very patient when it comes to teaching you how to drive. He understands how hard it can be because he struggled a little in the beginning too. If you break suddenly, stall, or run over a curb, he will just tell you calmly what you’re doing wrong. He also has really fast reflexes when the situation calls for it, so he’ll steer you back to safety. Mathias will spend an hour or two instructing you before taking over and driving home. If you don’t make a lot of progress, he’ll always say that he can be the driver in the relationship and you can be his passenger princess, so don’t worry.

Allen

He’s a safety first kind of guy. He’ll get you to tick all the boxes, even when he doesn’t always do that himself. For that, he’s also really patient. Allen would much rather sleep soundly knowing you’re safe on the road and not getting into an accident. In the event of minor collision, he’ll take the blame (he’s the one with a full license) and speak with the person you just crashed into, then get back in and sit in silence for a while. As much as he loves you, he tells you that it might be best that you take a break from driving. He can afford only so many repairs, so he’ll just make it so that you won’t need to go anywhere without him.

Matt

He isn’t the best teacher in the world, especially when driving comes so naturally to him. He just doesn’t understand why you can’t do it like him. So it’s no walk in the park when you’re sitting in the truck, listening to him yell at you after you make the same mistake again. You might end up crying by the end of it, but he’ll make it up to you by kissing you for hours back in his cabin. Matt will tell you that he’ll keep teaching you even if you’re bad at driving, because there’s no other person around to. Even then, he eventually gets you to improve despite his unorthodox methods.

When you go shopping

Alfred

He may not look like it, but he does enjoy a good shop. He’s just more selective about it. Alfred will give you some helpful advice if you ask him if you should buy something. But if it makes you happy, he wouldn’t hold it against you. After all, he has a a niche and expensive hobby himself. Collector’s items. Film and video game memorabilia. He’s up to date on all the pre-orders of exclusive merch he wants, and he’s won a few auctions. He enjoys the thought of owning items that someone else wanted but missed out on. He finds it hilarious as he runs off of punitive measures of success.

Mathias

He’s an enabler because he has just as bad of a shopping addiction. When you’re together, you burn through your money twice as fast. He has a bad habit of buying things he finds cute and not necessarily useful, but he can’t resist the rush of dopamine he gets from an occasional splurge. Mathias doesn’t see an issue with pampering himself every now and then, and definitely not you. At the end of the day, you two will have a giant stockpile of unused and decorative goods somewhere at home. Is this a sign of the end, or just the beginning of a long and comfortable life?

Allen

Allen is a bit of a mixed bag. First of all, he wants to spoil you, and anything you wanna buy, he will want to buy for you. He won’t question the things you like, nor make you feel bad. But the problem is, he’s not very liquid. Allen will feel super guilty because of it, especially when he has to talk you out of a store. It’s not his fault for not being able to afford everything you want, but he takes it to heart because he feels like it’s his responsibility to provide for you. Just for his sake, you might consider being a bit more conservative so he doesn’t stay up all night thinking about it.

Matt

Matt has probably gone shopping in a mall four times in his life. But online? Never. If you need something, he’ll just tell you he has it at home. And if not, he’ll just make it for you. If you need a pencil, he’ll sharpen a piece of graphite for you. No more expensive Japanese stationery. He’s the most frugal and resourceful person alive, so even cheap prices will turn him away. Anything that costs money will cost too much because you’re selling your soul and turning into a mindless consumer. He doesn’t eat processed food either, so he’s out here living like Captain Fantastic.

[dolphingirl1234]

welcome to the first headcanons post in what will hopefully become a series unless my brain randomly decides to hyperfocus on something else

starting off with our favourite traumatised polar bear...

IT'S CAPTAIN BARNACLES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! 📣✨‼️

please enjoy my shitty picrew human version of him

gonna be honest I hate this one he looks like my dad when he was like 12

imagine him looking like this but way older

anyway headcanons:

30-mid/late 30's

idk if there's a name for this one but is sexually attracted to females but romantically attracted to males

has never dated because of this and has no desire to

he/him

he was the last of the crew to actually recognise his sexuality

everyone came out to him and he was like inwardly homophobic because of the way he had been brought up, but made a notebook full of everyone's pronouns and stuff so he could remember, and never did/said anything homophobic to anyone else - kinda like Imogen in heartstopper yk

dark brown hair that's kinda going grey on the sides

grey eyes

always has eye bags because our boy does not sleep

he's not that strict on uniform - there are random clothes that tweak plonked the octonauts logo onto and that's what is considered uniform; everyone is allowed to wear whatever they want as long as its appropriate and has the logo on it somewhere.

basically always wears the same thing because the entire world will fall apart without his routine

played candy crush once in an ad and loved it

he secretly plays it on the web bc he can't admit to himself that he likes it enough to actually download it

everyone has called him dad at least once

gets fathers day cards from everyone every year

^^ has cried from this on multiple occasions

doesn't get sick often but when he does he is SICK. the second he wakes up his face is grey and pale and he physically cannot speak without coughing

peso makes him go to bed and when he eventually agrees he sleeps for like 2 days straight and is then immediately better

he tells kwazii off for being reckless but he's done some pretty dumb shit himself

will sacrifice himself for anyone and anything (has been told off about this many times and still continues to do it)

he and inkling are the only people in the crew who like dark chocolate

absolutely despises anything sour

his pain tolerance is very high

likes mint and will casually go to the garden pod and eat it raw

has claustrophobia (canon)

also has emetophobia (look it up) because I like projecting

once you've looked up emetophobia come back and read the next one:

when he was a cub and was learning to catch and eat fish he threw up after eating one particular fish and every time he sees it in the sea he will literally hold his breath and run away

he's actually very good at modern lingo and memes but does not understand for the life of him what a skibidi toilet is

sees peso as his son and will literally protect him with his life

other crew members have various mental health struggles and barnacles is genuinely so proud of them when they do anything that's hard for them even if its just surviving the day its so cute

he hasn't experienced the things the others go through but he has so much empathy and pride for them its insane

gives the best bear hugs and when he gets sad all he wants is cuddles but he's too scared to ask anyone

natquik and kwazii are the only people who have seen him have a full breakdown

if you've had a bad day he's your guy he will pick you up and cradle you like a baby no problem

on his birthday he literally gives zero fucks about presents but is insistent on getting/making really goof presents for everyone else

he has the deepest voice ever. and he's not terrible at singing either but he never sings. ever.

the accordion secretly pisses him off as well and he just keeps playing it because it's an ongoing joke and he doesn't want to ruin it

his paws are MASSIVE.

that's all for now I hope you enjoyed your exclusive look at Zoe's Headcanons TM I probably forgot some so you might get some more later 👀

[shadow-prime]

Seeing Ratchet in a domestic setting was cute at best, but something about him in his holoform sitting on her couch with a cup of coffee was just extremely sexy. The grouch rarely used his holoform out in the field unlike many of the others who used them more regularly but when he did, it was usually with her. She was no spring chicken, but hell Ratchet made her feel like she wasn't as old as she felt. For a human in her mid 40s, she was envious of Ratchet's seemingly endless supply of energy. She did have to take into consideration that the mech was considerably older to even the bots but he at least could still kick ass when he needed to. These realizations were painful that eventually her life will expire while he will live on for possibly several million years if he took the time to take care of himself. "Do my eyes deceive me? Doc Bot is actually taking time for himself?"

His eyes narrowed a bit at the nickname she called him by, granted she was the only one who could get by calling him that without having something thrown at her. But oh! did that look send a small shiver down her spine. Shutting her door y/n started taking off her coat hanging it up on the coat rack by the door. "Y/n… I'm not in the mood for any of your shenanigans," He grumbled, sticking his nose further into the newspaper he was reading. "I've had enough of it from Wheeljack today."

Sighing softly Y/n set her bag on the dining table, the satchel making a soft thud with its weight hitting the wood. Her laptop was sturdy enough to withstand the abuse. "What did he do now?" It was better for him to talk it out, for someone who has had a millennia of time to work on his people skills he sure did suck at not letting others get to him. Especially when Wheeljack purposefully did it to antagonize Ratchet. Jackie was a good bot but he just didn't know when to take a hint when it came to people's feelings.

"What doesn't he do?" Ratchet rolled his very blue human-like eyes. Somehow she never could get used to how vividly blue they were for how tired and beaten down he was. She could tell how much this one affected him, and she would have to have another talk with Wheeljack. It would definitely be better then Ratchet giving him another dent that required the mech to sit with an already angry Ratchet to ruthlessly buff it out. Y/n grabbed Ratchet's cup of coffee and took a drink from it

"What does it mean about how an old dog can't learn new tricks?"Coffee immediately flew everywhere as y/n choked on it laughing. Strike one for Wheeljack learning Earth Lingo. Ratchet the ever concerned boyfriend patted her back some before he left to grab a few towels to wipe up the mess. After trying not to die, and easing Ratchet's concern, she finally pulled herself together.

"It means a lot of things actually, just depends on the context," She said, taking one of the rags to wipe herself down. "The most common one is used in a derogatory way saying that older men and women are so set in their ways that they can't learn to adapt. It's like a double edge sword really." Yeah Wheeljack will definitely be getting a serious talk from her. The dark look that crossed Ratchet's face had her grabbing his hands, a small smirk on her lips "I wasn't laughing at you first of all, it just surprises me what new shit he picks up every day. But I know you better than him and whatever the meaning he meant behind it, is not true. I think you're very adaptive." The hint was easily caught and Ratchet face softened some to an almost cocky assurance. She had him now and stroked his ego to get his thoughts away from Wheeljack and had never let her down. Gripping his chin she pulled Ratchet a bit closer to her before pecking a kiss to his lips "He's just jealous that this Old Dog probably knows more tricks than he does," Ratchet harrumphed against her lips, a hand rested against her neck to hold her there just a bit longer.

When they pulled away Ratchet had the smugest look on his face "This Old Dog just might have to show you those tricks."

"I think that can be arranged, I'm always up for learning."

[stomach-bugg09]

omgg what about na'vi reader picking up slang/new words and expressions from spending so much time with neteyam and his family. WE KNOW that Jake's influence on them is strong. just reader trying to understand them and in turn use the same words.

a/n: thanks so much for this cute lil req !! hope you all enjoy. it's pretty short + sweet , but that's honestly all it rlly needs. reblogs + feedback are always appreciated !!

tags: @rafeslovergirl @wxnderingthoughts @liyahsocorro @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @itssiaaax @grierpilots @fleurbeass @23victoria

imagine growing up as a na'vi under the wing of the sully family

okay so [y/n] has a lil backstory about her parents being really close with neytiri before they died in a raid

[y/n] was fairly old at the time, maybe thirteen, so it was a really difficult and sad transition into their new life

they've always known the sullys though, of course, so it wasn't as terrifying as it could have been

i would say [y/n] is the same age as lo'ak if not a tad older

anyway, as time moves in, after [y/n] finally finds themself able to make their way back into the world

they start spending all their time with the sully kids

and that brings us to the slang

lo'ak and neteyam have clearly learned their lingo from both their father and spider

so, it's not wonder that [y/n] just stares blankly at them when they say some random word that only they understand

"what is a 'rizz?'"

that had them absolutely losing their minds because apparently it was just absolutely hilarious

[y/n] was much less amused of course

after a while of picking up new terms and words, there comes a point in time that [y/n] attempts to actually use the words correctly

...yikes

it results in some very embarrassing times, but [y/n] is stubborn and refuses to give up

they just have to get it right!

after months pass, they eventually do get it right, and the first time they use a word correctly, the boys are quick to congratulate ( even though it seems very patronizing, but it's still funny and cute )

eventually, though, they do get it down pat

although neteyam and lo'ak will never let them forget when they said they were going to "pull an ikran" because [y/n] didn't quite understand that 'pulling' had romantic intentions

nevertheless, [y/n] continues learning despite the mocking behavior from their new brothers

and that's all that matters!

[dragon-queen21]

HI ! back again, im sorry for the lack of closure of my last ramble, i was going through it and just couldnt write anymore (im fine now!) i apologize for that and all the typos. i didnt get to re-read it before i submitted it.

-Im actually half hispanic too! twins! but your right, i can definitely see ace being pretty good at spanish, and luffy knowing a selective amount. luffy can hold a conversation but hes not going to start speaking it fluently out of nowhere. all his crew can speak the same language, and robin is always there if someone else doesnt speak what they are, so he definitely wouldnt have as much practice as if he were still living in the goa kingdom.

-kinda odd hc but for some reason i also feel like spanish would be his first language considering his island would be located in brazil and then he was taught english by maybe garp? or makino? (or would it be japanese? sorry i watch in dub) and shanks was the one who taught him more of eng/jp (like slang, nicknames, etc) and ge eventually just picked it up more and like you said his spanish got really rusty

-imagine that when ace luffy and sabo were kids luffy tried to teach them eng/jp. it was actually going pretty good until the 3 of them started spurting out pirate lingo when garp was around.

now fast forward imagine little luffy with ace and luffy starts trying to teach ace eng/jp and ace is pretending to learn it all again to make him happy aweeeee

-Now back on captain smoker, luffy somehow gets smoker to carry him or hold his hand (the fear of being alone is insane) and smoker is PRAYINGG his men dont find him. theyd totally tattle on him

imagine luffy getting upset because they cant find his crew and smoker is trying his boy scouts best to calm him down. smoker is sweating BULLETS on the hunt for these strawhats (all of a sudden when he needs them theyre not causing a rucus) (smoker ends up getting luffy like candy or something to try and chill him out)

smoker gives luffy back to the crew and theyre all debating whether or not to tell smoker that luffys actually a baby right now (they end of giving him their gratitudes and booking it for the time being, knowing luffy, theres gonna be a next time.)

-i also wanna drop what if shanks were with luffy if he were regressed? how would that come about? maybe luffy regresses after not seein shanks for ten years and shanks is just like “this checks out” and treats him how he used to ? him and shanks’ crew all just chill with little luffy, i find that ADORABLE. (luffy and usopp regress together on the red force and yasopp gets to treat his son, like the child he left banchina with) (sorry im a believer that usopp doesn’t absolutely HATE his dad)

-babyspace luffy being babied by shanks (and the crew) because everyone in the one piece world just KNOWSSSS dragons a dead beat, and theres no way garp coddled this kid HE WOULDNT BE SEEN DEAD

wow can you believe this and my last submission was supposed to be about sanji? luffy stole the spotlight

okay this is getting way to long i fear, but thank you for continuing to read and answer my rambles, i mean when i say that it means a lot to me. and in your last-last reply to me, im happy that i can make your day. i hope these continue to do so. thank you so much🤍

and i wanna say this, dont ever feel that you need to answer my asks, i understand that i write a lot, i dont ever want to overwhelm you.

📷

Eh first of all,don’t worry about any typeos, have you seen my writing even proof reading I struggle man ;-; I’m just glad you’re feeling better <3

Second; eyyy twins!!! :D

~Mkay but I will raise you one, Luffy ‘teaching’ Ace swear words and then being like “bu’ you can’t say those cause den Sanji and Nami get angry if you says.”

“trying his boy scouts best”

<- XD I love that. Poor guy. The ONE time not a single thing is happening anywhere!

~Smoker offering to buy Luffy cotton candy when he sees a sweets stand, only has the regressor crying more, babbling something about a… Chopper??? And he’s so confused. Kids like candy. What the heck?!

~ I can imagine meeting up with Shanks and a conversation going something like this.

“Uh captain, you aren’t wondering what’s happening to Luffy or if this is like- a devil fruit affect?”

Shanks meanwhile with a toddler regressed Luffy clinging to his side

“Nah, seems normal to me”

~Usopp would definitely be shy around his father. Sticking towards Luffy and following his lead.

~Let Luffy be spoiled! He needs the love and attention that he gives others.

“Luffy stole the spotlight”

<- As he often does. You know I started a fic with Nami and Usopp and it slowly just evolved to just start focusing on Luffy. It just can’t be helped sometimes :3

I love answering these! I literally got home and was like :0 :D new message!! They don’t overwhelm me at all. As long as you’re okay with me taking a couple days to respond :3

<3<3<3

[basuralindo]

You'll Have Me Rise ch.16 is up!

And I finally got to properly include Cater! (he's kind of a crossover from @terrible-eel's Trey/Cater fic!)

This time it's also featuring editing by @kamikazequail, so, if you notice an overall improvement in the polish, you know who to thank!

Also, thank you to everyone for being so supportive and patient this past week. It's been hellish, but you've all been great, and I'm glad to be able to pull back and put some time into something nice for a bit.

Now, I know I'm missing a few chapter notes that I wanted to mention on this, but I've been trying and failing to remember them since last night so I'm giving up for now (just leave a comment if you wanna hear my thoughts on something specific). Anyway the rest, as always, is under the cut

-Soooo about my "Kalim grew up around brutal assassination attempts and his only friend was a trained killer and overall he's just completely desensitized to graphic or spooky shit" theory? Slasher films must be more chill than his last family reunion,

-Hey so did I mention I love Cater and Lilia? This was my first time trying to write them, and I feel like it was clumsy, but I really wanted to show an outside view of Kalim and Jamil's dynamic through someone who's more familiar with modern human society. I feel like anyone observing these guys interact is eventually gonna experience that skincrawling dread of "something is not okay at home"

-Also yeah I imagine Jamil having the most deeply uncomfortable vibes once he's in his own environment. Like, the housewarden chambers is where he doesn't usually have to perform and mask for other people the same way, so once he drops the act a bit there's gotta be some sinister, angry detached shit under it all. Not to mention all the hostile magic woven into the area to protect Kalim. Kalim, of course, is desensitized to all this because that's just what his lifelong friend feels like. It's probably cozy

-Oh? The scarabia duo starting to develop wildly different english dialects as they spend more time with people of their choosing instead of assigned company? Big time side agenda to show an immediately perceivable metric of them growing into themselves separate of each other as time goes on? Couldn't be

-Speaking of language: I think I've mentioned before that Jamil allows himself to admit ignorance and ask questions to Azul more, because Azul always takes him seriously and doesn't try to embarrass him for not knowing a word or phrase. There's trust and respect there. With Cater he's also asking more questions because he knows Cater has been helping to tutor Kalim with some decent success, and is willing to test the waters a bit. Partially because he can barely keep up with Cater's lingo and is treating it like learning a new dialect, which he knows he'll need some help figuring out.

-Notes on their speech: Jamil focuses a little obsessively on impeccable grammar, vocab, and pronunciation in the hopes of not giving anyone more material to criticize him. He struggles more with casual lingo and slangs because of this (and not socializing much in general), and is afraid to fuck up at contractions so he tends to drop them when stressed/flustered or over text (some are easier than others, like I'm and it's vs don't and won't). Since he mostly learns from Azul lately, his speech skews even more towards formal and anachronistic. Kalim isn't that concerned with accuracy. He likes to socialize and starts up casual conversation easily, so he picks up a lot more slangs and dialectical quirks but doesn't apply himself to learning "proper" english much. He's able to navigate casual conversation well, but often fucks up at unfamiliar vocab and grammar rules, and doesn't sweat correct use of things like conjunctions so long as he can get the general point across. Cater helps him out a lot, so he picks up a lot of Cater's terminology and cadence and ends up sounding much more modern than Jamil. So, their differences in speech aren't a matter of intellect, just a difference in learning style and social values.

-So, Cater's supposed to be from the shaftlands, and his Halloween vignette mentioned moving a lot and never really fitting in, so I'm choosing to believe that he moved to the queendom of roses as a kid and had to transfer around there a bunch growing up.

-Headcanon that, because there weren't a lot of mages around the palace, and even less who would spare time to teach a servant, Jamil is mostly self taught. The result of that being a lot of kinda juryrigged practical spells that, once mastered, ended up being modified in various ways for whatever needs they could apply to. The things that weren't so self taught were mostly curses and assassin techniques passed down through his family, which also got modified over time for practicality and protecting Kalim. So a lot of his magic just feels immensely uncomfortable, like protection wards that are actually modified curses and shit like that. The rest is just very noticeably different from standard teaching, and of course Jamil doesn't want anyone to know he's invented so many of his own spells, so he downplays and straight up lies about it if asked

-Writing from Cater's perspective was a lot harder than I expected, but I really like him and wanted more of him in the story. And again, an outside perspective on this whole situation is much needed imo. Just, let someone actually look at Jamil and see that he hasn't gotten to be young yet

-The whispers movie is a reference to the Suspiria remake. The way dance is used for spells in that partially inspired Jamil's sandstorm dance in the first chapter, and it seemed like something he'd like

-Anyone: "Don't worry about it." Jamil: *Worry intensifies*

-Cater is out here holding the emotional intelligence and basic social skills of the entire school together. There wasn't a lot to go around, but he's making it work.

-I love the idea of like, between the preferential treatment and Jamil's own warped standards, his description of the octatrio and their merits being completely unrecognizable to the rest of the school. I don't think Cater would have been so encouraging if he knew who he was encouraging Jamil to give the benefit of a doubt to.

-Headcanon slightly supported by actual canon: I think Floyd has a relatively photographic memory, and he shows affection by taking note of the things that make people light up, and supporting those hobbies/interests with little relevant gifts, or just encouraging them to explore and talk about it and listening to them infodump. If it's particularly important to them he'll learn up on it enough to hold a real conversation. Since Azul and especially Jade are the type to get really deeply invested in every little detail of an interest, and he sees that Jamil seems to happily talk to both of them about that kind of thing, he figures there's a good chance Jamil would enjoy being bombarded with informative material and the like too.

-Since I'm bringing up Floyd's love language, I might as well add that I think Azul would deeply investigate to determine what someone might want from him, then try to provide it at a level above and beyond all expectations (partially driven by an obsession with proving his worth. potentially disastrous results when he misjudges what was actually wanted). Jade would give little gifts of things that a) he thinks they'd like, b) he wants to see how they'll react to, and/or c) he wants them to have because he likes the idea or aesthetic of it for them. These almost never include things they actually ask for, because it's more fun to experiment than just do something with guaranteed results. And he'd gift an overwhelming amount of these little things constantly, half because he gets a thrill out of seeing the reactions, and half because he wants the recipient to always feel the presence of his affection.

-Jamil, meanwhile, would probably show care through acts of service because it's all he knows so far (this may change over time as he heals). His hate language would be malicious compliance.

-Okay so I think Cater is absolute drunk aunt friend? I think he compulsively adopts people and drags everyone else into it and makes a whole project of helping them, and then ditches out for several weeks to have his own secret crisis. Then he pulls himself together and comes back chipper and doubles down on the project to keep his mind off of his issues because if everyone else is happy then he can fake it till he makes it. …I also think Riddle's overblot was a little traumatic and the idea of another one happening is freaking him out.

[jester-lover]

Vyvyan with an s/o! (Headcanons)

Includes- fem terms for reader, FLUFF, canon typical violence, SLIGHT OOC, author has only watched the first 6 episodes and it shows

this is a Neil appreciation account, I am an American and attempting my best British lingo (*eagle cry*)

Wowie, an extremely niche British show from the 80s? This sounds exactly like something I’d write about!

How did he get a girlfriend? (asks Rick, aghast)

The two of you definitely met at some local pub, the smell of sweat eventually luring you both out onto the empty street

The two of you bump into one another, and he’s ready to destroy whoever just ran into him, but then he sees you

Cue the absolutely dumbfounded expression, and immediate request to walk you home

Rants on and on during the walk to your place, about everything from his flatmates to medical sciences

You don’t know if it's just the liquor talking, but your little escapade ends with your phone number written on his arm

Congratulations! You now have the world’s weirdest lover!

Your first ‘date’ is definitely somewhere secluded, walks through old forests and abandoned buildings are his favorite, because he really loves having your undivided attention

He acts like an absolute moron and you love it, dancing around, bumping into trees and making you laugh without even trying

The two of you definitely fit together, and your relationship is very sweet

Plenty of nights are spent together, snoozing on how rickety little bed, even if the both of you are still wearing your shoes 

Your family is also very happy that you’re seeing a medical student, they are less happy when he busts through the window 

His mom honestly couldn’t care less about who he dates, but she appreciates you nonetheless 

Your relationship is full of ups and downs, but nothing and nobody else will pull you apart 

Bonus- dinner with the boys!

Inevitably his housemates will get curious, and ask him to invite you over for dinner

Of course you go! You've been wanting to meet them after hearing him talk about them

When you get to the door, a sad looking man with long brown hair answers, eyes widening like he’s never seen a woman before

Two other men sit on a red couch, the man with two rat tails looks up, aghast

(Rick refused to believe you're a real person until you walked through the door)

 The shorter man in the pinstriped suit smiles at you, getting up and welcoming you in

Mike’s voice alerted Vyvyan, who immediately barreled down the squeaky stairs, picking you up in a spinning hug

Vyvyan animatedly shows you around, finally stopping at a small hamster cage

The hamster began to talk, you promptly decided to ignore it and move on

The long haired man pulls another chair to the table, beckoning you to join the group

The introductions start off well enough, until the man with the rat-tails begins to talk, opening up with his credentials within the local anarchist association, only to be promptly interrupted by Vyvyan tossing a toaster at his head

Turns out his name was Rick, and he really wasn’t having a good time 

Dinner was well, a little overkill on the lentils

The two of you ended up talking into the night, so he drove you home near midnight 

The Drabble that pairs with this is coming out once I peel myself off my bed. I will focus on giving you wonderful people more dialogue in the next Vyvyan installment, this is not the end.

[laziestgirlintown]

Something Sweet, chapter 2

(Chapter 1 here; on AO3: chapter 1, chapter 2)

PAGE 1-2

The evening of the first day. The customer comes home to his small flat, and, first things first, crouches to greet his purring cat, petting her and chatting nonsense as she rubs against his legs and presses into his hand. [The cat is many-coloured, each colour clearly delineated.] Then he sets the pastry box down, hangs up his jacket and takes off his shoes. He makes tea; sets the cookies on a small plate; brings it all to his armchair; lights the little lamp. The cat jumps into his lap and he pets her while the tea seeps.

PAGE 3-4

He pours the steaming tea, smells it, picks up the plate. Picks up Gingerly. Takes a first bite.

A slight frown in his forehead and eyebrows, which up until now we have thought is simply how he looks, smooths out. His face clears. Peace, wonder.

With the second bite, his head tilts back; delight. With the third and last: transported astonishment; frankly, when he breathes out, he looks like someone who's been thoroughly kissed. The fingers that lifted the cookie remain in front of his lips, forgotten.

PAGE 5-6

Eventually he opens his eyes. He takes a shaky breath to calm down. Drinks tea. Holds up I Fit in Your Hand. Puts it down again and drinks a little more tea. Pets the curled-up cat. Turns the cookie around in hand with his thumb. Takes a bite. Face tells all

Bottom of page 6 cuts back to the next-again day, the shop bell jingling, the baker saying ‘Welcome back’.

PAGE 7-8

Echo of ‘Welcome back’ in the upper corner as the customer tries to take everything in all at once: today's pastries, a few customers at the tables, and not least the baker: smiling, looking pleased, flattered, and expectant.

The customer's apprehension evaporates a little more with every moment. “Thank you,” he says, simply, earnestly, and the baker’s smile widens happily.

“Did you like them?”

A little worry instinctively returns, but finds nothing to sustain it, and dissipates again. The customer remembers the cookies and smiles. “I did. Yes. Thank you.”

The baker smiles, sun glittering on the sea.

“Would you tell me what it was you liked? It would help me pick out new ones for you.”

The customer blinks, swallows, but (with the background reassuring thought that he could still run to the mountains and never be seen here again) gathers his courage.

PAGE 9-10

“Gingerly,” the customer says, “was just that. The first bite was all the richness of ginger but it was so soft. Dulcet. Like petals. Petals but with a whisper of fire.” He blushes ever so slightly; his eyes widen, only ever so slightly. “The second bite,” he goes on, “was just a little more taste of the cake but also of the ginger, though still soft. A, a glowing, billowing sunset cloud. But the last piece.” 

He doesn’t look away from the baker’s eyes. 

“There came the bite of it, the sting – the fire. Just enough, just right on time, like a–“ He’s half raised his hand, to his lips or his throat, catches himself, and lowers it again. “Just right,” he finishes quietly, and the baker lets out a very soft breath.

PAGE 11-12

“I Fit in Your Hand?” the baker asks, barely above a whisper, and the customer gathers himself again, relaxes, and nods.

“I drank some tea first.”

“Which tea?”

“A slightly peachy sencha.”

The baker nods his approval.

“Then I had to choose,” the customer goes on. “To start with the side with a little more goldenberry, or the side with a little more white chocolate.”

The baker's forehead is smooth, his smile as soft as the cake batter he’s been stirring, as he prompts: “And?”

“I chose correctly.”

*All very pleased ✨️😊*

PAGE 13-14

The baker ponders his display case, thoughtful. He folds a box, half disappears behind the case, chooses two pieces of pastry, writes two signs, ties up the box and hands it over. The customer pays, and they say goodbye.

The customer comes home, greets his cat, opens the box. Two lovely little pastries. One sign says “Sin Anon”. The other, “Lingon Awhile”. He makes a pot of tea.

Chapter 3

[thehat-taheht]

11 Nights at Denny’s on Route 66

In 1999 I moved out of my family's house and moved to the desert. I had a few jobs and enrolled in college and was paying my way through my freshman year of a Psych degree, before I lost my mind and tried to double major. I worked as a waiter, a limo driver, a kitchen steward, a short order cook, an apartment complex handyman, and a convenience store clerk while going to UNM from 1999 until 2006. I worked the longest as an assistant manager of a CircleK (yes like in Bill and Ted) and the least amount of time as a waiter. In the 3 months of being a waiter I felt as though I gained 30+ years of experience. It was hands down the hardest job I have ever done for the least amount of money I have ever made. This is a short segment of the 3 months I worked at the Denny’s on Route 66 across from UNM, and more specifically about the longest 2 weeks of my life.

You may recognize this restaurant from the series Breaking Bad, or as I like to call it: “Albuquerque, the TV Show”.  I assure you that the restaurant depicted in the show is the real one I worked at and that 80+% of the show just sounds like another day in that crazy place where Bugs Bunny should have turned left.  This is honestly one of my most tame stories from this place and even it involves gangs, drugs, guns, 2 accounts of attempted murder, the TV show COPS, and 7 full days of hallucinations.  

I was the only employee that didn't smoke so I had the non-smoking section. I had no car, no spare money, and was generally a terrible waiter. I had a roommate who also worked with me but on a different shift. We rarely saw each other and he was making much better money than me. I knew I needed to pick up some more shifts to make up the difference or I could be in trouble. I volunteered for a split shift so I could have access to the biggest rushes during the day and took classes early in the morning on my lunch break and my cores late at night. I had a stolen bicycle (don't judge) and it needed to be repaired so it took me a while to get places. When I started the new schedule the manager was fired and a temp manager was put in place. When summer came, I started asking for more hours. After my shift was over I would work the next shift. New shift, new manager, I would ask that manager for a shift and so on.

Eventually I started missing meals and just going home to shower, doing laundry and coming back. I was getting a few hours here and there but I was already tired. Then our cook got arrested for assaulting a customer and they needed more employees to cover shifts. COPS was filming in the area and they came to our restaurant to film the cook chasing a drug dealer around the store with a frying pan and a cleaver. They were chasing each other around in a circle in the store like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Instead of me asking to pick up shifts, they were asking me. Every manager that came in just knew that I had picked up a shift before and kept asking me to stay.

To explain this cartoonish escapade you will need some background information.  My manager was also a small-time dealer and several of the regulars were customers of his.  The person being chased from around in circles while customers felt helplessly trapped inside the store was his hook-up (or middle man for those of you not conversant in the lingo).  The hookup had made it a point in his life to not make friends with anyone and had recently attempted to steal from a local Chicano gang related to VNS and also to pick a fight with the local chapter of skinheads on different days.  The two unfriendly groups were accidentally cooperating in blocking the restaurant's only two entrances.  Skinheads in the front and los Vatos in the back.   To my knowledge until the police arrived neither knew the other was there.  

The hookup had run away from los Vatos del Paseo del Norte and decided to hide in the Denny’s by coming in through the back firedoor.  He was subsequently witnessed by a member of the skinheads who was eating at the time and ran out on his bill to get the rest of the gang.  The hookup proceeded to barricade the back door and dropped the gun he was carrying.  Customers attempted to rush out of the front door just as the skinheads gathered in the parking lot.  My manager confiscated the gun, gave it to his girlfriend to hide, and tried to force him to leave the restaurant.  Upon seeing the skinheads in the front he tried instead to hide in the walk-in freezer in the kitchen and grabbed a knife along the way.  My manager (who was also cooking for the night shift that day) picked up the closest weapons he could reach and chased him away from the walk-in.  As the hookup couldn’t leave either door without facing an uncertain future, he instead continued to run in circles until the police arrived.  This was all before the days of smartphones so I do not have a video of this event but wish I did.

As the police pulled up, the skinheads dispersed and customers started running out of the restaurant in panic.  Shortly after the cops arrived several TV cameras popped up in the parking lot and I immediately locked the door without thinking.  The police saw me do this and politely knocked on the window and asked me to open the door.  I informed the police that they needed to turn off the cameras as we will not allow them to film here.  Once the cameras are gone I will open the door.  Both my manager and the hookup saw the cops and knew they were both being arrested and emptied their pockets into the vacuum holes by the base of the seats in the non-smoking area, then laid down in front of the door and put their hands on the backs of their heads.  I unlocked the door and the police arrested them and gave me a mean look.  Somewhere in the COPS: Albuquerque archives is a video of me holding my hand over the camera telling these ‘bastards that I am not losing my first job over letting someone film my boss trying to beat someone up’.  This was not the only time I was on COPS in the ABQ either, but that is another story.  

So my manager is gone and before I knew it I had been in the Denny's for 2 days straight. I started getting punchy and felt drunk. I was too tired to bike home and decided to sleep in a booth in the back. Instead of sleeping, I helped the staff deal with a drunk group and the new manager just assumed I was working and seated me. My roommate helped me make something called trucker coffee, which was triple brewed coffee with BC powder, NoDoz and a lot of sugar. I guzzled a pitcher of the swill just to keep going. I pushed through the wall of day 4 slamming red bulls and trucker coffee, and would leave the store to do laundry next door or buy more caffeine from the C-Store on the corner.

After day 5 the minor corner of the eye hallucinations became full-on visual hallucinations. I saw snakes flying out of people's mouths when they spoke and buildings exploding around me. I saw people murdered or eaten, car chases on crowded sidewalks. The only way I knew they weren't real was by the reactions of others around me. Most of the rest is a blur until the final day.

Memories I do have that I am pretty sure weren't hallucinations were falling on the floor and faking a seizure, explaining to my coworkers that some of the customers had ordered drinks and then walking around the drink island repeatedly dumping out the order, refilling it, and then repeating the actions. Later I was told that I was semi-coherent as long as I was taking down orders and writing them, others on the staff helped me, as they assumed I was on Adderall and felt like helping me. On the last day I have some memories that I know are real as they shaped my life for years to come. I had been found out by the management as I had timesheets with lots of hours of overtime and was ordered to go home and rest. Instead of doing that I once again decided to sleep in a booth. I laid down and was immediately woken up by two people arguing religion. There was a guy proselytizing with a well annotated Bible and a 3-ring binder full of pamphlets. Across from him was a guy with a huge blond afro with a question mark bleached into it. We met and silently agreed that anyone proselytizing at 4am in a Denny's was fair game and we were going to try to crush this man mentally. We proceeded to do just that (don't judge, I am much nicer now) and bonded over the experience. I found out that the Afro-Theologian was recently homeless and needed a couch to crash on. For better or worse I immediately insisted he come stay with me, without notifying my other roommate.

That man is currently my brother by marriage, the father of two of my nieces, and still a good and true friend.

All in all I think that I was profoundly psychologically scared by the event, but also proud of it regardless of the negative effects it has had on my mind and body. I do not know all the science, but was told by a doctor friend of mine I was lucky I didn't die or at least have severe brain damage.

Not sure if I learned any lessons, but shortly after that experience I went home on the Greyhound to visit my family for Christmas and my friends and I drank homemade cream liqueur from Grolsch bottles on the bus as snow fell on the Manzanos. I made a decision that I would never work as a waiter ever again. 

Consequently with 2 of the minor drug-chain in the area gone, this left the door open for my entry into the local underworld. 

[kurakusia]

Reviewing Some of Edgar Allan Poe’s Short Stories

DISCLAIMER: I am not an English major or anything like that so don’t expect an actual detailed review, I just picked up a collection of his short stories one day because BSD has me in a chokehold. Also, my recollection of the stories may be inaccurate as I’m going mostly off of memory.

Manuscript Found in a Bottle - 4/10

- Basically the story is written as if the reader found a bottle in the ocean full of, you guessed it, manuscripts (letters)

- The letters themselves are meant to be written by a guy who decided to journey out to sea and writes about all the strange events that happen while he’s out sailing

- Now this would probably be an interesting story, but Poe stuffed so many technical ship terms like ‘beam-ends’ and ‘ballast’ that I spent more time trying to figure out what he was describing rather than understanding the plot itself

- Because of this, all I really managed to grasp of the story is that there was a strange storm and then all the crew members started acting weird before some weird phenomenon happened in the ocean that killed everyone

- It wasn’t a bad story but I really couldn’t keep up with all the technical lingo (did people back then just casually know these terms?) which reduced my enjoyment a lot, but I liked the concept of the story being a series of letters left behind by someone at sea

Ligeia - 8/10

- Now I actually really liked this one, the story is told through the words of a man who is reminiscing about his deceased wife, Ligeia

- About 1/3 of this story is the narrator describing how absolutely infatuated he was with his wife and how pretty and smart she was, which introduced me to some of my favourite quotes of all time, such as:

‘They became to me twin stars of Leda, and I to them devoutest of astrologers.’ (in relation to describing Ligeia’s eyes)

‘In beauty of face no maiden ever equalled her. It was the radiance of an opium-dream - an airy and spirit-lifting vision more wildly divine than the phantasies which hovered about the slumbering souls of the daughters of Delos.’

- Yeah I wasn’t kidding when I said this guy was INFATUATED with her. After he finishes gushing about her, he starts to talk about her falling ill and that she recited some cryptic poem about God and death shortly before she died

- After Ligeia’s death, the narrator falls into a form of depression, moves out into a mansion in England and marries a woman named Rowena, who he doesn’t like nearly as much as Ligeia

- He then continues to describe his entire mansion in painful detail (like he describes EVERYTHING about this mansion, good god) and talks about how his new wife, Rowena, also eventually fell ill

- THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING, Rowena becomes so severely ill that she eventually dies and gets wrapped up in bandages or something of the sort to preserve her body before her body can be collected to be buried 

- At night, the narrator goes into Rowena’s room and sits by her corpse while smoking opium (poor guy is really going through it at this point). As he sits there, he notices that Rowena’s body starts to breathe and move as if its alive, with some occasional sounds coming from her mouth. When this happens, the narrator is reminded of Ligeia and this whole fiasco continues for a while until eventually, the corpse gains enough life(?) to stand up by itself, at which point the bandages fall from its face and reveals the face of Ligeia *audience gasps*

- Yeah so this story had all the good stuff, beautiful descriptions (if not a bit excessive at times), an engaging storyline, and a nice creepy ending. Genuinely, I read this one very late at night and that whole part with the corpse coming back to life actually left me a bit antsy, in my opinion it was written quite well.

The Man that was Used Up - 6/10

- So uh, this entire story felt like a fever dream. So many sections of this story repeat over and over again that it makes you feel like you’re going mad. I think this was intended to be a mystery but it kind of read a bit more like a comedy because of that. Also Poe uses so many random French words and phrases in this one. I think it was like ‘fashionable’ to use random French in your conversation back then, and this one is written through the point of view of a guy who lives among upper class society (I think).

- Basically, the narrator is talking to his friend who mentions a guy called ‘Brevet Brigadier-General John A. B. C. Smith’ (he was referred using his full title like this throughout the entire story and it drove me up the wall). This John Smith guy apparently was very ‘heroic’ and killed some Native Americans in something called the ‘Bugaboo and Kickapoo Campaign’. Yeah nowadays I think he would be considered scum of the Earth, but seemingly back then this was a thing that people were praised for.

- In any case, the narrator hears of this ‘heroic’ act and thinks nothing too much of it until his friend mentions that there was something very strange about Smith’s appearance. The narrator then grows obsessed with finding out what this secret is and it becomes the entire plot of the story. He goes round to multiple people asking them to describe Smith but they somehow get interrupted every. single. time.

- Eventually, the narrator ends up going directly to Smith’s house to see for himself what the big secret is. He is greeted by Smith’s valet, who takes him to Smith’s room. The narrator hears Smith’s voice coming from a clump of clothes(?) on the floor, and slowly the valet starts to assemble Smith using various prosthetics. The narrator begins to realise what Smith’s secret is: he is the man that was used up.

- Now while the ending is quite cool and the general idea behind the plot is interesting, the entire build-up to this ending was a headache. Having to read the narrator go on a wild goose chase to figure out this secret while every other paragraph was repeated word for word made me feel like I was reading something straight out of Alice in Wonderland. Kind of interesting but a painful process to get to the good part, which only lasts for a paragraph or so once you get to it.

The Tell-Tale Heart - 9/10

- This is personally my favourite short story from Poe’s collection. I first read it in secondary school and have loved it ever since. It’s written in a way that is easier to understand than a lot of Poe’s other stories, and it’s not too descriptive either.

- This story essentially follows the narrator’s descent into madness as he grows obsessed with the idea of killing an elderly man who lives with him. He eventually manages to kill the man and hides the body under the floorboards. However, due to the noise he made, the police are alerted and come over to his house to see what’s going on.

- The narrator, satisfied with the murder he just carried out successfully, gets cocky and invites the policemen into his home. However, as the policemen sit and chat amongst themselves, the narrator grows increasingly more and more paranoid that the policemen actually know that he murdered the man, and that they are just toying with him. Throughout this whole ordeal, the narrator becomes more and more convinced that he can hear the dead man’s heart beating from under the floorboards, and he becomes convinced that the police can hear this too, despite them not showing any signs of doing so.

- Eventually, in a fit of panic and desperation, the narrator flings open the floorboards and reveals to the policemen the corpse of the elderly man, as well as his ‘hideous heart’.

- The way Poe has written the narrator’s descent into madness is so believable. When the narrator grows paranoid believing he can hear the corpse’s beating heart, it felt so convincing that I felt as if I could relate to the narrator’s emotions myself. At one point, I was on the edge of my seat, wanting the narrator to be able to carry out the murder undetected just as much as the narrator wanted to. This will always remain my favourite work of Poe’s, unless I find a better one.

[bluezebrafly]

Going further with the idea, there was a statement Barb made in your story. With another statement made later with both Barb and Billy thinking/saying similar things

"If you can’t disassemble and reassemble an entire stage set up by the time you’re five you’ll never graduate. Which has never happened. Rock teachers are that good.” (Barb - ch. 3)

"Watching Branch’s reaction to his first guitar store was a memory Barb was never going to forget. She felt a little selfish, her dad should be here for this, but she’d been so excited about him wanting his first guitar that it totally slipped her mind." (Barb - ch.9)

"Hey, I’m sorry if I messed up your special moment. I know the first guitar is supposed to be a family thing.” (Billy - ch. 9)

I'd like to think much of a Rock Trolling's upbringing includes a certain amount of education incorporated into their family dynamic, we see Barb and Thrash going out of their way to comfort Branch and explain things to him. Billy tests Branch's guitar and briefly explains the first type he picked out, Val, Petra, and Demo inadvertently teaches Branch some Rock Troll views on lies and the nuance of an honest conversation, and Rosemary going out of her way to correct Branch on the Diner Lingo when there was most likely other things she could've been working on.

So when a Trolling eventually starts school the first year "Pre-Clay" is spent understanding where each student is at in their education, as well as watching out for friend group dynamics that will begin forming. After that the next two years are spent catching any Trolling up on subjects they may be lacking in before every trolling is essentially in the same place education wise.

Because I'm a nerd about puns the "Skool of Rock" grade levels are based on the different sizes of actual rocks

Pre-Clay -> Clay -> Silt -> Sand -> Gravel -> Pebble -> Cobble -> Boulder

The first 3-4 years are spent discovering your friend group and figuring out dynamics, there's still classes but trollings are free to group up as they please to further a bond of true friendship, one they reach gravel the groups are chosen from the more favorable grouping the children decided, these are called "Bands" the trollings learn the ins and outs of being in a band and during classes figure out their preferred style of music/costume/set/etc.

The graduation ceremony is a full concert put together by these Bands, some last after graduation, while others disband and find new revenues.

That's so cute, I love that.

[piranisarius]

Amphibia headcanon (part 6 of too many)

In the sashannarcy future!au When Marcy and Anne are upset at Sasha or want to tease her they’ll both just stop speaking English to her for the rest of the day. So Anne will only respond in Thai and Marcy only goes for Mandarin meanwhile Sasha is just a confused white girl ™.

Eventually Sasha picks up on this and starts learning the basics of both languages so she isn’t left out but MarcAnne eventually begun just saying random stuff to throw her off again.

Exhibit A:

Sasha: I just finished my courses for Thai and Mandarin on Duo Lingo! Do your worst

Marcy: (In mandarin while pretending to be serious) Dog fires a cannon Tuesday?

Sasha: Huh?

Anne: (In Thai) yes, fluorescent edible condiments

Sasha: … Wtf are you guys saying?

[astaroth1357]

Ok but like, what if MC's fandom starts to make ships with MC and the guys. Just think about the ship wars, the fancams, the fanarts, the absolute CHAOS when the brothers find out. It would be even worse if they start shipping MC with the undatables, one day everything is normal and the next day there are ship wars fighting over MC x Barbatos vs MC x Solomon (who are both very smug about it)

The MC's Fanclub are… Shippers?!

Perhaps… The italics blurb has been fulfilling its greater purpose all along…? Perhaps in its state of existential angst, it has in fact developed a plot of its own… An arc of introspection and self-discovery in which its own longing for purpose has forged a meaningful identity… It now has… a story…

Lucifer

As if they couldn't get any MORE frustrating…

He's not an otaku. He's not a part of ship culture. He's not even sure why anyone would care about who dates who around this school, but apparently it's a big deal to some people...

He only became aware of their interest in him and the MC's relationship through some very… subtle clues…

Like the groups that would follow them around in the hallways with their phones out.

Or the multitude of fan rumors about their relationship that Satan spams him with from time to time just to irritate him.

"MC refused hug from Luci in halls today!! Are they bout breakup??? 🥺"

"Tots got pic of kiss today!! Relationship upgrade??"

"IS ARE MC+LUCIFER SECET LVRS?!? PLEASE RESPOND"

It only got worse after he found out the MC gets shipped out a loooooot….

If he had to pick his least favorite ship, it'd be MC x Mammon. He can kind of see it with any of his other brothers (admittedly, Levi is also a little mystifying) but the idea of them ending up with Mammon makes his skin crawl...

He once found a drawing of the MC and Mammon in an… explicit position in one of the classrooms and he was so disgusted that he wouldn’t even touch it. He just set fire to the paper outright. Disgusting...

Mammon

Shipping, eh…? More money making opportunities!

Has some passing idea of what shipping is from Levi and, from what he knows of it, shippers eat cutesy couples stuff right up!! If all he's got to do to make bank is to look all couple-y around the MC then sounds like a win-win to him!

He'll happily pose for a photo or two (paid in advance) of him throwing his arm around the MC or something. Want him to hold their hand? Sure thing!

But since this is still Mammon we're talking about, the second MC actually starts getting into any of it he'll still turn into a blushy, stuttery mess...

For WEEKS the headline picture on so many of their fans' blogs was an image of him turning beet red while the MC kissed him on the cheek. (A fan really got their money's worth there... 😏)

Though he doesn’t exactly like the MC getting shipped with other people, he'll still totally sell pictures of any of them together. He almost paid off an entire credit card with the money he got from the t-shirt sales of the MC and Satan!

If he had to point to one ship he doesn't like it's either MC x Asmo or MC x Levi. His opinion, but Asmo won't treat them right and they could do waaay better than a shut-in. Like him. Ship the MC with just the Great Mammon, got it?

Leviathan

… Lowkey super active in the MC shipping community but is a self-shipper to the extreme.

Like, he never uses his real name on anything (and would probably die from embarrassment if anyone ever found out) but a lot of their fans probably know a couple of his aliases.

He does everything from mod forums, runs a couple blogs, even anonymously posts his own work of him and MC that are totally not his secret fantasy dates or AU versions of themselves, shaddup.

It’s a lot easier for him to keep his involvement secret because he’s hardly at RAD, but the few times he does show up he tries to keep an eye out for anybody prowling for pictures so he can get in a good pose and save the image later.

Mind you, his version of a “good pose” rarely gets more spicy than linking pinkies, but even then he’s still lit up a Christmas Tree throughout.

Naturally, he’s also not a big fan of any ships that aren’t just him and MC and he can find a reason to be jealous at almost anything. But he keeps a special corner of hate for MC x Mammon and MC x Diavolo. Like, the first one doesn’t even need an explanation but MC x Diavolo?? Really??? Do those two even talk?? (please, please, please make sure they never actually talk because a guy like him versus literal royalty? He’d lose MC for sure….!! 😫)

Satan

He hates to actually agree with Lucifer on something, but their fans are starting to get out of hand...

Knows what shipping is in concept, he may have done it once or twice to characters in his books, but he was kind of surprised how it could evolve into such a… group activity?

He was pretty quick to pick up that the MC’s fans had a bit more interest in them together than they did when they both were apart…

I mean, those hideous shirts that Mammon was pedaling were kind of a dead giveaway…

Considering he finds their fanclub all rather annoying, even without their bizarre interest in his love life, when they started actively meddling with him and the MC he was ready to smash some heads.

No. He will not stop for pictures. No. What things they do together is none of your business. No. He has zero interest in seeing your explicit fanart and if you don’t start running that will be the last question you ever ask.

He DOES, however, appreciate the cringy “annoy Lucifer” ammo. They could keep that up for a lifetime... 😏

He doesn’t have a least favorite ship because he doesn’t care about any of this, leave him alone. (That’s a lie, it’s MC x Lucifer. He pokes fun at Lucifer, but he can’t stand it either. Big shock, I know 🙄).

Asmodeus 

Oh he is shamelessly a part of the community, are you kidding?? 

He could practically call “Shipping the MC” one of his favorite pastimes. He’ll openly gossip with their fanclub about who they’ve been with, who they’re seeing, who’s got a chance, etc… He lives for this shit!

He’s the only person who knows that Levi is also in the community and what his aliases are (not because he told him, but because Levi’s not as subtle as he thinks he is… Who else would call themselves “SupremeRuri666” and speak mostly in outdated chat lingo?) but he doesn’t out him because he thinks his very obvious crush is kind of cute. 

Plus, Levi needs the outlet waaaay more than him…

Doesn’t stop him from constantly trolling him and getting into arguments over who the MC would be better with though (the two are “virtual nemeses” as far as Levi is concerned).

Appreciates all forms of expression that comes out of the community (especially the saucy kind 😏) and will happily feed into his own shippers without a care in the world.

Truthfully, Asmo will say that there isn’t a ship he doesn’t like but if someone mentions one that he thinks is kind of “eh,” he’ll just add himself into the mix. “Oh, you like MC x Barbatos? Well how about Asmo x MC x Barbatos? That sounds loads more interesting doesn’t it??”

Beelzebub 

Oh, Beel… Sweet, sweet Beel… Beel doesn’t even know what their club is doing…

Because Beel has a reputation of being pretty protective of MC - and against the fanclub in general - the club keeps a healthy distance… but that doesn’t mean they’re not going to sneak in some picture or make a SHITLOAD of fanwork about them.

Between classes and practice Beel is a busy guy, so sometimes he just doesn’t notice that there’s people hiding behind trees when he’s out with MC. 

Honestly, his complete ignorance of it all makes it even cuter because when he acts sweet, it’s not just for the camera. That’s the real deal.

Mammon was the one who eventually let it slip that there was even shipping happening and Beel was… kind of creeped out because isn’t this stalking? But also kind of weirdly happy(?) that MC x Beel was so popular… Very conflicted boy here.

He never actually acknowledges the community, though, and just keeps on being Beel (which still gave the fans more than enough material so all’s well that ends well?)

Beel genuinely doesn’t have a least favorite ship (because he believes the best ship is whoever makes the MC happy) but his second favorite under himself is probably MC x Belphie. They look very cute together...  😊

Belphegor 

Ride or die, Beel x MC x Belphie. 

Just kidding (kind of), Belphie isn’t into the shipping but if asked he’d be pretty okay with that one.

His campaign against the MC’s fanclub and their attention stealing ways means that he found out about their shipping thing only slightly ahead of Beel when Mammon was trying to get pictures of them napping together…

Honestly, he couldn’t care less if a bunch of weirdos were weirdly invested in their relationship, but he’s not about to let Mammon just make a quick Grimm off of it. Belphie makes sure that he gives him NOTHING to work with. 

Since Mammon is the main dealer, the shippers in both the MC fanclub and Belphie fanclub aren’t nearly as well fed and pretty desperate for anything... You best believe he plays that to his advantage (because it’s okay if he does. He’s not Mammon).

Really helps that MC x Belphie is legitimately a very cute looking couple, carried by Belphie’s cuteness alone if nothing else. Add an adorable MC and you reach levels so cute it could actually melt people into puddles of goo... They could be a registered weapon.

Least favorite MC ships are any that don’t involve him or Beel. Any others may as well just not exist, he won’t even acknowledge them. MC x Who? Yeah, that’s what he thought.

[aaronhotchstuff]

inside jokes + scotch

hi so @witchofinterest sent an ask from this prompt list and i accidentally posted it while i was still writing it like a dumbass GDKDHDKDK so anyways here you go!! but MY LOVE THIS PROMPT IS LITERALLY FOR THEM HOW DID YOU KNOW 😩 thank you sm for sending it in!! <3 also, i’m gonna be super vague with what inside joke this is because i can’t come up with anything specific rn lol

CONTENT WARNING: mentions of rape, torture, murder, just the general cm lingo since the details of the current case are mentioned but it’s nothing graphic because this drabble is actually fluff!!

It was bad.

Four women in three weeks; raped and tortured then dumped naked in public places with no evidence or witnesses whatsoever. The team had been consulting the local PD after the first two murders occurred, then were officially invited in after the third body dropped. Unfortunately, they were on another case at the time and when the fourth body was found, it’s only been a couple of days since the victim went missing as opposed to the several days he held the previous victims captive for the torture; a clear indication that the unsub is rapidly evolving and isn’t going to stop until he’s caught. Undoubtedly one of the worst cases they’ve ever had, and there it was.

A laugh.

It echoed through the conference room as the team was fully debriefed of the case. Disturbed, they all turned their heads to the source of the sound; Phoebe. She snickered mindlessly at something Hotch said, and found it hard to stop once she started. It was stupid, really. Something they talked about the night before at her house, where Hotch had spent the night after Phoebe and Danny’s Sunday afternoon barbecues that always seemed to turn into sleepovers, as the latter would call it. He’d been coming over for the weekly occasion since the boy first invited him, which allowed him to get to know Phoebe outside of work and vice versa.

Aaron Hotchner did have a sense of humour, after all, and it sent Phoebe to an uncontrollable fit of laughter ― surprisingly and embarrassingly.

After their antagonistic first impressions and interactions, she didn’t expect to have so much fun hanging out with him during those weekends, and with Hotch’s surprised yet amused expression as he watched her snort, neither did he. Mostly because it was just such a small, stupid joke that he didn’t think she’d remember.

Phoebe eventually felt the stares on her and forced herself to a stop, cleared her throat then looked up at her coworkers to meet their confused looks, excluding Hotch whose subtle smirk she’s learned to pick up over the time she spent with him.

“I’m sorry, I know how bad this is. I just... remembered something Danny said,” she reasoned, and although the team didn’t exactly buy it, they all decided to let it go due to the urgency of the case and got up from their seats, then Hotch spoke up.

“Really?” he asked, and the team could tell he was teasing, “What was it?” he added as he picked up his copy of the case files and she gave him a glare that made him back off quietly, but not without a shit-eating grin that everybody noticed despite his efforts to hide it. “The jet’s already been prepped. Wheels up in ten.”

Phoebe scoffed. Little shit.

The team simply watched as they both left the room; Morgan looked to the rest with a raised brow and a hand gestured toward them. “That’s not just me, right?”

“Yeah, an inside joke,” Emily replied in amusement, Rossi and JJ just as amused as they walked out of the conference room one by one. “I guess they’re finally warming up to one another.”

“It’s true,” Reid piped up excitedly behind them, his hands already in the air and the team readied themselves for what they thought to be random fact spewing as they walked together, “Phoebe’s less tense whenever she talks with Hotch now, and they voluntary reach out to talk to each other unlike before when they would only interact when it’s necessary and actually dreaded it. Meanwhile, Hotch always asks her what she thinks and he also seems to make her laugh pretty easily―actually, lately Phoebe gets even more relaxed when he’s around and she gets him to smile here and there so although using the phrase “warming up to one another” is accurate, I think it’s actually more of an understatement.”

The boy genius nodded continuously with a smile as he finished sharing his observations and put the rest of the team to a stop, all of them staring at him. Not just because all of the things he said were most likely true, but also because of how much he knew about it.

“And you know all of this because...?” JJ trailed off teasingly.

Spencer gulped and licked his lips to prepare himself for another long speech as they all walked toward the elevator with their go-bags in hand, “It’s quite obvious, actually, you can just see how their previous demeanour around each other differs from―”

“She was joking, kid,” Rossi interrupted. “We’ve all noticed it.”

He winked as the elevator arrived and gave him a pat on his back, which prompted the rest of the team to chuckle while they entered one by one. Reid looked away in embarrassment with flushed cheeks and furrowed brows as he followed suit and cleared his throat.

“I knew that.”

send me a prompt <3 tagging a couple moots because i crave validation lol; @claryxjackson @come-along-pond @luucypevensie @starlit-ocs

[kingsandbastardz]

As far as I can tell, there's really no explanation other than using kinda pseudo religious/magical terms so it is either their lingo or they're a weird cult or some version of both. I think someone at some point in history mentioned they were bodyguards for nanyin royalty? (I'm not sure if this is in the novel or what - someone correct me if I'm wrong here.)

Imo when any organization of this sort loses their core purposes they tend to turn toward being for hire - so imo they're all trained up to be assassins or mercenaries. But with the weirdly religious and magical overtones of a cult -- I also imagine that they would have ritualized things like the mind control bugs and the death match training process.

I also assume the girls are housed in a separate facility/training area.

Their clients? Rich people. Cuz they have to fund themselves, their extremely high body count, and Master Di doesn't dress like he's poor. Breeding the bugs also seems to be pretty difficult/long process, so money would have to be pumped into that too.

If rich people, they would have to train the kids into knowing how to read/write/eat with the right manners, etc. Cuz otherwise they'd be useless to blend into fancy/polite society.

I have no idea at which point in the process DFS escaped - he was pretty young but might have been old enough to start learning how to read and write. IMO he's EXTREMELY performative with how he dresses and exhibits himself. Like he's just... the pinnacle of traditional masculinity, of classy wealth, of classy violence, of being more central-plains than other ppl. Meanwhile there's hints everywhere that he's from non-han origins, that he's obviously not from a rich background. He has a far softer personality than is 'masculine'. Is sitting pretty in a very female coded narrative. He had to have picked this up from somewhere - and if not Di Fortress then....where??

With the local economy, they would buy children with no questions asked. They would get food deliveries. They seemed to be in a remote location, so they wouldn't interact with the local population much. Imo it'd be similar when a town knows that the ppl in that weird place nearby are a cult - where you want their money but don't want to attract trouble otherwise. So you quietly do business with them and close your eyes when some desperate kid runs past. Maybe you try to hide the kid - but you heard the last person that tried to do that died a horrible death. Or maybe the kid exploded and clearly there is evil magic involved. Best not to attract trouble onto your own household and just hope they pick up and leave eventually...

how does di fortress interact with the local economy and what the fuck do their logistics even look like, and other incredibly normal questions to be asking here at 3pm on a work day