#you spend a month closely following and planning for the 10 year world tour

[blitzgamev]

Someone: asks me about what fandom I'm in after I vaguely mentioned the word

Me: alright we're not bringing up minecraft no one needs the nervous "I can differentiate between character and person etc" disclaimer

Also me: .... Hazbin hotel :)

Why didn't I just talk about musicals 😭

[alicerosejensen]

Find me

Warning: mention of blood, violence (physical and psychological), mention of viruses, parasites, zombies; kidnapping; the reader has a slight anemia; Fem/reader; established relationship with Leon.

Synopsis: You could have a quiet wedding and a good life with the person you love most in the world. Leon was ready to protect you to the death from his enemies and viruses but… it seems that someone is also interested in you. And the price for life will be very high.

A/N: The idea from this post that I wrote about quite a long time ago. "Together forever" I'm not very good at writing (apparently the Yandere theme is not mine, no matter how much I like it). So I'm going to try this plot. I don't know how many parts there will be, but if everything goes well, then probably a lot (maybe 10-12 or so). I hope someone likes it because I have serious notes on this work in my notebook, as if these are sketches for the 9th part of the resident).

Tags will be added to the following parts. I was very much inspired by the remaster and Haunting ground when I was taking notes. After all, both games were made by Capcom.

Feedback is welcome (but no insults!)

Sometimes the worst horror happens in the name of love. It's not the worst plot for books, films or paintings that are more than a hundred years old and it's impossible not to admit that sometimes we want to be loved until our death.

And maybe after it.

The words sound soft, with a slight taste of regret, as if somewhere between the letters there is a treacherous "I'm sorry". But in fact it was so predictable. Leon hugs you too tightly, experiencing an inexhaustible sense of guilt, because he promised to decide together where you will spend your honeymoon, which is unlikely to last exactly a month, he promised to watch a movie with you that you have been planning for a long time and… and everything went to hell.

Leon nuzzles your cheek and devoutly kisses you gently, leaving a wet trail with his eyes closed. Another sign of his eternal love, his lips are imprinted on the bridge of your nose, making you smile from the slight tickle caused by his stubble. He had no power over not being called to work for at least another week, but the government is not interested in the personal life of his best agent. And yet you enjoy the way he puts his arm around your waist, holding you as tightly as he can.

"Okay, Mr. Kennedy," you joke kindly, inhaling the almost faded scent of his cologne. "I forgive you, once again. Run to save the world" You smile looking into his crystal blue eyes filled with sadness and longing.

"I promise that I will ask the authorities for a good vacation," Leon swears very sensually, continuing to hold you tightly in his hands and look with those puppy eyes from which the soul is torn apart and kisses again this time on the forehead, "If necessary, I will harness Ingrit and no one will bother us. We'll plan everything the way you want, even if it's a tour of all the castles in Europe"

You laugh sincerely, removing the bangs from his face, hoping to stretch the moment of intimacy with him longer. It was so warm and safe next to him that you snuggled up to his chest and he gently cradled you in his arms like a child.

"Don't do anything stupid in my absence"

"I still need to do an exhibition and maybe I'll finally clean up the bookcase," you lie knowing full well that the books will still lie randomly on the shelves and you won't even touch them. Actually, your work was the only thing that could save you from the all-consuming longing for Leon.

"Be careful, okay?" with some hidden fear, he asks, reluctantly releasing you from the ring of embraces. "I'll call as soon as I get a free minute and I'll really be back soon"

Leon is already out on the street and you follow him with a sad look, noticing some dark car to the side. Rightly deciding that they came for him, you lower your head, sighing heavily and literally taken aback when Leon's lips abruptly cover yours with a demanding and somewhat rude kiss that you forget how to breathe. At some point you try to seize the initiative, but strong hands push you against the wall and you hit the back of your head a little painfully, allowing him to dominate. As always.

"I would eat you right here," Leon said sarcastically and quietly stroking your hips, "But I really have to go."

And you silently bite your lower lip while watching him move away from you and get on his bike.

Well, that cool car wasn't for him, but this thought quickly leaves your head and in the end, tired of standing on the street, you just go back into the house, closing the door, grabbing the phone and immediately sending him an impatient "I miss you already." However, this does not prevent you from also ordering food with home delivery and watching some movie to pass the evening that was hopelessly spoiled.

The evening really became disgusting, neither delicious food saved him, nor a good movie will save him.

"Complete shit" a quiet curse came off your lips when you looked at the phone screen for the hundredth time in the evening and endlessly reread Leon's last message "My love…" which seems to have been imbued with such despair that tears came to your eyes. He was like a big kid who couldn't live a day without you and besides, only with you his sleep was like a more or less healthy one. You were his only light and he wanted that light to stay with him forever. Well, you could send him a hundred more messages, but it's unlikely that he will have the opportunity to read them in the next few hours or even days. So with bitterness, you just turned off the TV and went to the bathroom to get ready for an earlier than usual sleep.

Hot water pleasantly calmed and warmed the skin flowing down the body. You spent 15 minutes in the shower, brushing your teeth and doing all the usual and favorite cosmetic procedures, smeared your body with a lotion with a pleasant floral scent, waiting for it to soak into pale skin. The mood even improved a little when you changed into pajamas and straightened the bed once more before putting your head on the pillow and looking at the phone.

Nothing.

There's no point blaming Leon or doubting his love. It wasn't up to him. Sometimes he was dragged out of bed late at night and you could not see him for weeks without even being able to talk on the phone for one minute. But when he returned, he turned into a puppy clinging to his beloved owner and covered your body with a lot of kisses, not letting you get out of bed. Not that you mind… You always miss him and worry about him.

Sighing, you turn over on your side, putting the phone on the bedside table and not seeing the desired message from your fiance. Therefore, grabbing Leon's pillow, the lungs are filled with his smell and instead of feeling his presence, you experience only a deep feeling tearing apart that makes your heart beat a little faster.

And closing your eyes, you reach for the switch, when suddenly for a second the phone quickly notifies you of a new message from the addressee next to whose name the heart turns red.

"Don't forget to take the pills that the doctor prescribed for you. I want this sickly pallor to disappear. Love you"

Well, smiling, you took a screenshot of the message for some reason, saving it in your gallery on your phone. After sending Leon the answer, you still remembered that you really forgot about those pills once again, but you didn't want to get up anymore, so you left this matter for the morning. Sighing once again, trying his luck in the hope that Leon would write something else, your mobile was treacherously silent while you were just flipping through the social media feed.networks thinking only about how dependent you are on this man. However, the same can be said about him. The phone went out, as did the light in the bedroom, and sleep slowly overtook your mind when you hugged else's pillow without hearing quiet footsteps in the next room. The uninvited guest, thanks to Leon, had to tinker a lot with the lock of the front door before he unlocked it, quietly closing it behind him so as not to attract your attention while you were in the shower. Merging with the surrounding darkness, it was necessary to wait for the right time and prepare the syringe so that everything went as it should and the target was quietly neutralized without attracting the attention of neighbors.

The order was well paid and the fact that Leon left the house on that day was only to his advantage. After all, a government agent can ruin everything and getting rid of him threatened big problems that were not needed by anyone, but who will remember about his pretty bride, about whom he will probably quickly forget everything himself? The unknown person only needed to stick a pomeranian, inject the substance and quietly take the target out of the house by throwing a fake note with a handwriting similar to yours that you and Leon do not see the future for yourself. Pick up a few personal items and throw them in the nearest trash as proof of the truthful departure of the unfaithful bride.

Not the worst plan, especially since Leon Kennedy will think about your disappearance and how natural it is, no one really cares. Even if he suspects this ill-conceived plan, by that time you will be too far away from here anyway.

The problem was solved by itself because you are a simple art worker did not pose any threat even if you tried to resist. One step, two… the blessed victim will not suspect anything until the very moment when someone else's hand in a black glove closes her mouth and sticks a needle into her body. You fall asleep without suspecting anything, somehow reflexively reaching to the left side where Leon usually sleeps with his back to the bedroom door.

You are separated by literally a few meters from each other before one inept movement spoils everything.

The sound of falling books that Leon has been asking you to arrange exactly for so long makes you open your eyes by squeezing the pillowcase of the pillow and the "guest" freeze without touching the door handle. However, you felt a gaze on you that did not let you be deceived that someone had entered the house.

In Leon's bedside table there is a 9mm pistol fully loaded. It's not that you were very accurate, but Leon took you to a place as entertainment, where you trained shooting at targets under the watchful eye.

"not the worst result for a beginner," he said condescendingly so as not to upset you, but it was fun even if the gun was real.

Except now there are no jokes! You heard another step towards your side and held your breath, gathering strength for a jerk to pull out the gun and remove it from the safety. From fear, the heart beat faster, causing the blood to roar in your ears and before the intruder's hand landed on your face, you abruptly rolled to the left side of the bed, throwing a pillow at the person standing over you, winning for yourself a couple of seconds from his confusion.

Jumping to your feet, you quickly grabbed the gun pointing it at the man with trembling hands, removing it from the safety.

"Your own life is more expensive," you thought when a man of impressive size in a mask stood a meter away from you without a weapon, because his goal is to deliver you alive because you will not be of any use dead.

You held his floor at gunpoint, but your hands were shaking from the unusual weight and you really wanted to lower them down, but you held on trying not to panic. A step towards you and you pulled the trigger without aiming so stupidly hitting the closet, startled by the loud noise of the shot, immediately shrinking and from unaccustomed frightened by the strong recoil of the weapon.

"Fuck," he swore loudly, immediately rushing to you, forcing you to scream at the top of your voice while miraculously dodging. Rushing to the door, the first thought was to run outside and ask for help from neighbors, especially since the sound of a gunshot and a woman's scream certainly did not go unnoticed and someone probably should have already called the police. We just need to hold out. However, you only managed to jump out into the corridor when suddenly a strong man's hand roughly grabbed you by the hand in which you were holding a gun and your finger pressed the hook again making a shot.

Again a loud noise, your screams and a small hole in the ceiling.

Again the bullet flew by.

"Get off me, you bastard!"

A ringing slap in the face and you abruptly fell to the floor dropping the gun somewhere to the side. He immediately hung over you, but grabbing the first book that came to hand, you threw it in her man's face and taking advantage of another hitch jumped to her feet, running on without thinking about how much lip hurts.

And yet, the chances of escape were initially small, especially when shortness of breath began due to anemia and the chest began to ache sharply. A deep breath did not help even if your body was filled with adrenaline, he still knocked you to the floor, pressing your whole body to the floor, taking that ill-fated syringe out of your pocket and sticking it into you by quickly pressing the plunger . It only takes a few minutes, but because of your screams and shots, even they could put the entire mission under the "failed" icon, so without wasting even these precious minutes, the kidnapper grabs you by the hair and just hits your head on the floor suppressing resistance at the root. The world before your eyes becomes hazy and barely audible when a strange and unusual feeling of lightness covers you despite the pain in your head.

"Bitch ruined everything"

This bastard threw you over his shoulder and quickly ran out of the house, leaving the syringe lying there on the floor because there was no more time. Throwing you carelessly like a sack into the backseat, he slammed the door and gave gas to get away from the crime scene as soon as possible and dump the tail by moving to another car. They'll pay him well anyway.

You only blurred vision being on the verge of consciousness silently watched your loss until a long sleep covered you.

[celestialrry]

stood up

3.5k

hello everyone!!!! I've been awol for literally weeks because i had absolutely NO motivation to write but i finally finished this piece ˊᗜˋ so YAY. ALSOO thank you for following me, liking, and reblogging my pieces (it encourages me somuchsothankyouireallyappreciateit-- and remember reblogging really helps us writers :))) )  here’s a hug for all ur patience and feel free to send me asks or requests i love talking to you guys! ε(♡'-')з

summary: Harry keeps standing Y/N up. (request from @ballerinrry! thank u love)

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and sex, angsty but with a happy ending cause for some reason i can never let them end on a bad note

Y/N was excited.

It had been a while since Harry had asked her to go on a date, it was always the other way around recently. She couldn’t blame him though, Y/N knew just how busy Harry always was, and it wasn’t like he was purposefully not asking her to go do things, he just had a lot on his plate.

That’s what she kept telling herself anyways. 

It’s what she told herself when it had been 2 weeks since they had even eaten a meal together, and given the fact that just a few months ago Harry had come back to London for a while, that was rare. So, Y/N asked him to grab lunch on a Saturday while they were lying in bed together, and when he agreed, but failed to show up, leaving Y/N sitting at the cafe, her lips morphed into a frown and her eyes not focusing on the phone in front of her, she told herself he was simply booked up with meetings and studio time and such. 

Thats what he told her when he got into bed that night to apologize for accidentally standing her up. She forgave him, of course, and suggested they could just get dinner the next week. He agreed, even walked around to his calander her to show her he was marking the date off in his calendar with a heart, her first initial, and 7:00 PM etched into the little box with red sharpie. 

So, the week passed with quick kisses of good mornings and good nights, and while Harry was gone Y/N had on a black dress she had been excited to wear for a while now, with those little mini silver heels and a coat strung over her shoulders as she sat on her couch waiting for Harry to swing by to pick her up. She shot him a text that simply asked “You otw? xx”

He was not.

It took about 30 minutes of waiting on their couch to realize he was standing her up, again. And it took until the next morning for Harry to see her text (his phone had been on do not disturb while he was at the studio and he ended up spending the night at Sarah and Mitch’s after a few beers), and for the guilt to seep through his veins. 

He apologized, again. And Y/N forgave him, again. 

Only until it got to the point where Y/N no longer remembered the amount of times Harry had stood her up, for being at the studio, or sleeping after a meeting, or simply just not paying attention to his phone, she knew there was a problem. 

Harry was fully aware of the problem too. He knew that this was no way to ever treat a partner, and if someone was doing this to him, he’d dump them— well, he’s never been one to end a relationship unless it was necessary, so that’s an exaggeration, but it’s the principle of the thing. 

Which is why when he got home one day around 11 PM, gave her a kiss to the forehead after she sat up in their bed to give him a hug, and a soft  “Can we talk?” escaped her lips, he knew he had to fix this. So he asked her if they could talk over dinner the next night, he just wanted to sleep but also wanted to fix things with his girl, asking her if she was free of course, before telling her he’s gonna make a reservation at that nice restaurant the two of them used to go to quite often, because “it’s been a while since I’ve taken my favorite girl out”.

A grin broke out on her face because he had asked her! And if Harry was planning it, there’s no way he’d cancel or stand her up. 

 So yeah, Y/N was excited.

She woke up that morning with a smile on her face, and something akin to a what she thinks a rainbow would feel like running through her veins. It had only been a few months since she’d last been on a date with her boyfriend of almost 2 years and a half in person, and she was going to make the most of it. Because after this date, things would change. They’d spend more time together again and it would be like this little bump (that neither had acknowledged) never happened.

Y/N did, well, everything to prepare. Took a long shower, shaved, put on that coconut lotion Harry likes— he tended to dig his face in her neck when he smelled it while holding her—, brushed her teeth more than 3 times, dug in her closet to find that one patterned soft purple dress she bought ages ago but never had a change to wear it, until now, put on those really cute heels Harry said he liked once (“Looks like something you’d wear on a runway pet, I love ‘em.”), and even styled her hair differently than normal.

He had told her he would swing by at 8 on the dot after the studio, and soon enough, it was 8, with no sign from the man who made the promise himself. Y/N thought maybe there was traffic, he was just running late, texted him a quick, “Can’t wait to see you!! xxx” and put her phone on the coffee table, waiting on their couch. 

8 turned to 9, 9 turned to 10, 10 turned to 11, and soon it was midnight. Y/N doesn’t think she’d ever felt more empty than how she felt then, walking to their shared room of a year, slipping off her heels and tossing them towards the closet, as well as pulling her dress over herself and letting it fall to the floor behind her, grabbing that one t-shirt she always wears when she needs comfort (which just happened to an extra 2018 Live on Tour shirt Harry had laying around that she snatched just 3 months into them dating), and flopping into bed.  

She couldn’t fall asleep, and instead spent her time curled up in their bedsheets, a steady flow of tears making their way down her blush covered cheeks.

。:°ஐ

Harry usually didn’t make mistakes.

Sure, he had his moments, grabbing the wrong coffee off the counter when his name was called at the cafe, forgetting to text Jeff that he actually couldn’t make it to a meeting that was scheduled in a few hours. Just little things, things that didn’t matter that much, and could always be fixed. He didn’t usually make mistakes that weren’t easy to fix. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

Until, he was.

Harry loved Y/N. He loved having her around, loved spending time with her, loved loving on her, loved kissing her, loved touching her, loved the way she went about almost everything. He was so in love with her, that hurting her was out of the question. He never wanted to be the one to make her cry, make her bottom lip quiver before the tears rushed out like he’d seen many times before, due to movies, his songs (which as sadistic as it sounds was an ego builder to have someone so close to him so affected by the music he wrote), her school work, or even her friends that weren’t being so nice.

In fact, he was so in love with her, even being so afraid of commitment (it took him over a year of them dating to ask her to move in), all he wanted to do was blurt out those 4 dreaded words. “Will you marry me?” It was a bond for life, and he was terrified of that, but with Y/N all he wanted to do was spend the rest of his living days with her.

When Harry had come back from being in L.A. for so long and finally being in the same city as his girlfriend back at their home, all they did was spend time together. Every time he saw Y/N all he wanted to do was say those 4 words that he hadn’t even fully come to terms with himself. It was dangerous, and Harry’s self control when it came to Y/N was lacking, so he simply did was every normal person would do in his situation.

He stood her up. 

Many more times than he could count, and of course he felt like the shittiest person in the world— shittiest boyfriend in the world—but at least now she can’t possibly be under the impression that he wanted to marry her, which is what he wanted. Or thought he wanted, until Sarah called him up one day after he had stood Y/N up for dinner the night before and told him off. Told Harry just how fucking terrible he made Y/N feel, how unwanted she thought she was, how she felt like they were loosing their relationship, and Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. (Of course Y/N had sobbed to Sarah about it over the phone while she was drunk off the wine she opened 40 minutes after Harry said he would be there, so she really didn’t even remember the conversation).

And later that day Harry had come home, heard her wavering voice asking if they could talk, and decided in his head he would tell her how he felt, how sorry he was, and how he wanted to be with her forever and love her forever if she allowed him. He had a few expectations for their dinner, that Y/N would probably tell him how he’s made her feel, and Harry would apologize, tell her why he did it, explain he thought it was no excuse, then tell her he plans on marrying her (obviously not proposing just yet, but finally bringing up the conversation they had never had even though they were in a serious committed relationship) and they’d go back home, have the most amazing sex ever, and forget about the whole thing. 

What Harry didn’t expect was to get a call from Jeff around 5 asking him to come to the studio to fix few vocals, then end up nailing down 2 songs in one night, go to a bar with the band to celebrate, get drunk, then pass out at Mitch and Sarahs flat. 

But that’s what happened, according to Mitch, who woke Harry up the very next morning. 

“Good morning man, wakey wakey,” Mitch’s teasing tone echoed through Harry’s (what felt like full of vodka) brain as he groaned and squinted his eyes. “Why are you waking me up at this hour in the morning?” Harry asked drearily, sighing and simultaneously regretting last night as a whole because the last thing he wanted to do while hungover was be up before at least 9 AM.

“We’ve gotta go to meet with Jeff about tour in like a hour, H” Mitch stated .

At Mitch’s words Harry sat up on their couch, eyes wide in fear. “Wait mate, I thought tha’ meeting was on Wednesday.”

“It is Wednesday H, god how drunk did we let you get last night…” Mitch said, beginning to recount some of Harry’s antics the night before. Harry however, couldn’t hear a thing with the blood pumping through his ears. If today was Wednesday, that meant yesterday was Tuesday, and he went and got trashed at a bar with his friends Tuesday night when— when he was supposed to be on a date with Y/N, when he was supposed to confess his intentions, when he was supposed to apologize for standing her up over and over, yet instead he went and did it again.

Now this, this was a mistake.

“…H. H. Harry? Are you there?” Mitch’s voice came back into focus and Harry shook his head. “I- fuck, I was supposed to take Y/N out last night.” Harry said, his voice trembling.

‘I’m sure she’ll forgive you, it’s just one night.” Mitch tried to make Harry feel better. He knew Y/N was a very forgiving person, she would get over this in no time.

“No, she won’t. I-I’ve stood her up for the past month and a half, Mitch.”

At these words, Mitch stands straight up  making pained eye contact with Sarah in the kitchen who was overhearing most of this conversation with her eyes wide. She had no idea it was this bad. “Month and a half? I thought it was just that one time a few weeks ago, Harry what the hell is wrong with you?” Harry simply shook his head and didn’t reply. He had absolutely no idea how to make it up to her. “I-fuck, I don’t know Mitch!” Harry raised his voice. “I need to see her and apologize, now.” Harry said, standing up and rushing over to the front door and slipping on his shoes. 

“This meeting is mandatory Harry, as much as I want you to see her too, she’d probably still asleep, and I don’t think this can be solved in under an hour.” Mitch said calmly, already knowing Harry was close to walking out his door. Harry stayed silent for a moment, weighing the options. Either go apologize to his girlfriend, or prioritize himself over her again. 

“We can do it another day, I’m sorry, but I have to go see her, tell Jeff I feel sick.” And he walked out without another word.

。:°ஐ

The morning after Harry stood Y/N up again was brutal. 

She stayed up all night, replaying moments with Harry in her head, analyzing if he wanted to be there with her, wondering if maybe he felt like he had to stay with her out of pity. It was torture, and the pain seemed to turn into numbness as time went by, and eventually the sun came up, and she stayed in bed, her motivation lost.

A loud crash and “Fuck!” woke her up, swollen eyes fluttering open to the invasive noise. Y/N furrowed her brows, her mind connecting everything that happened yesterday and unfortunately reminding her of the unbearable pain she went through the night before. A groan escaped her lips as she sat up and flung her legs out of her bed sheets that had been flung off the bed in the middle of the night.  She began grumbling to herself as she made her way downstairs, ready to tell Harry off for making so much noise.

Her mouth stopped moving, and instead remained in limbo as her eyes met Harry’s. His mouth opened to speak, but his words were caught in his throat as he saw the state she was in. It was when her mouth pressed into a line that he could begin talking. “Y/N, baby, please I know you don’t wanna see me or talk t’me right now but I’m so fuckin’ sorry, love. So so sorry, it was an accident, I went t’ the studio to fix a few things then got hung up on the songs and by the time we went to celebrate I completely lost track of time, and I was too drunk to drive home so I crashed at Mitch’s.”

Her mouth fell open at his words. Everything was happening too fast. Hearing that he stood her up to drink at a fucking bar to celebrate himself, then coming home and accidentally knocking over a glass in their kitchen (which she put together was the crash earlier after seeing the shards of broken glass on the floor) frustrated her to no end. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him any longer, and Harry had stopped talking after realizing what he just admitted to her. Without another glance, instead of looking at Y/N’s tear stained face, all he saw was her back, walking up the stairs to their room. 

“Fuck,” He said to himself before following her up the pink stairs. “Y/N, love wait-please, I’m so sorry, I just need to talk to you, I need to explain myself, please.” He begged as she shut their bedroom door in his face, his voice turning into a desperate whine at the end. 

。:°ஐ

It’s been 3 days since then, and she hasn’t spoken to him. He would leave in the mornings, kissing her forehead and mumbling an “I love you” and telling her exactly what time he’d be home, before leaving and coming back on time to find an empty plate in the sink and her lying in their bed, whether it be reading, scrolling on her phone, or typing on her laptop. He would apologize many times, reaching his hand out for hers and she would simply situate herself in their bed and lay down, back turned to him. 

Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. 

It was when she had finally let him kiss her forehead goodnight that he decided to take his chance. “Y/N.” He spoke softly, with no response or anything to indicate she heard him. “Baby, can we please talk- or I’ll talk and you listen, I just- I really need to say some things.” 

She was still faced away from him when he leaned against their headboard and he decided to keep going. 

“I- um. I’m sure you know how sorry I am, but I really am- sorry I mean. Not just for tonight but for every other time I’ve stood you up. I’m so sorry for not showing you how much you matter to me, and how much the things you do matter to me.”

It was then that she slowly sat up next to him and looked at him, eyes begging him to continue. He blushed at her intense eye-contact that he had barely gotten over the past few days and took a breath, opting to look at his hands fidgeting in his lap.

“We’ve been together for 2 and almost a half years, which is the longest relationship I’ve been in, and it’s no excuse to treat you this way, but I had just been thinking about how things progress even further than now,” He coughs. “Which is marriage, and when I finally came home, all I wanted to do was ask you to marry me- I don’t- m’not proposing right now, I just- I got really scared because wanting to spend the rest of your life with someone is crazy to me,

I’ve never thought that way about anyone else until you, I didn’t even really want to get married before you, and I started to distance myself before I ended up telling you this, but obviously that blew up in my face.” He chuckled a bit, locking eyes with her unreadable ones for a moment and lifting a hand to run through his hair. “What I’m trying to say, is that I love you, so so much, and I plan on marrying you— obviously if you want to too, of course— and I’m so sorry for trying to make you think that I didn’t care about you anymore or love you any less, because it’s the complete opposite of that.”

His eyes were watery now, as he started down at his interlocked fingers, and his eyes widened when her hand was gently placed over his own. “Harry,” Y/N began. “Look at me, please.” 

His head lifted to see her facing him, her brows knitted and a small smile on her face. “I forgive you, okay? I could tell you were kind of scared of commitment when we first started dating, and I wish I could say your reason for standing me up is surprising but it’s not.” They both chuckled a bit at this. “I- I’m still upset at you, I need you to know that, because 2 months of thinking the love of your life is avoiding you doesn’t feel all too great, so you suck for that,” she said, planting a quick kiss to his cheek which quickly turned pink. “But Harry, even if you asked me to marry you a year ago I would have said yes. I love you, so much, and I plan on spending the rest of my life with you as well. I’m sorry for giving you the silent treatment, it was… unnecessary and immature. So, thank you for apologizing. I love you.” She confessed again.

“S’okay, I deserved it, and I love you too. Maybe even more. So um, we’re okay?” Harry asked, a hopeful smile on his face. 

She nodded with a smile and pulled him into a much needed hug and pulled away only for him to bring her into an even more needed kiss. “If you ever try to pull that shit again, I’m breaking up with you.” She laughed and he tackled her into the sheets hiding his face in her neck.

“Duly noted, love. Duly noted.”

[smileyjaeminies]

What if there was something more?

Synopsis: A trip with your friends is enough to tip the balance you had between friendship and love. How will you cope with spending every waking moment with someone you’ve been smitten over for years?

Word Count: 9,1 k

Genre: friends to lovers’ au!, angst

Warnings: fighting, cursing, drinking, extreme sports (cliff diving, bungee jumping)

Member: Jungkook, ft. Taehyung and Jennie of BlackPink

A/N: This work was commissioned by a very special person. You walked into my life only recently, and yet I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s meet a lot and stay for a long time. Thank you for requesting, I really hope I did your vision justice.

    A small breeze played with your hair as your suitcase rattled behind you. A laugh bubbled from your lips to the sound of Jennie and Jungkook complaining about one thing or the other, your eyes feasting in the beautiful scenery. Did you just call an airport beautiful? Maybe.

  You were elated, finally arrived after a long plane ride to one of your favourite cities in the world: Venice. You were giddy with excitement, ready to explore the city and uncover its secrets with your three best friends.

  “We need to find the bus stop for bus 13” Taehyung announced, juggling a map and a trip advisor in his hands.

  You all looked around, trying to find the correct stop when Jennie announced, “There! Over there!”

  Not waiting for your confirmation, she led the way, stopping only when you arrived at the stop.

  “10 minutes. Great!” Taehyung said as you all settled down.

  You half sat on your suitcase, trying to be patient until the bus arrived. The task was a hard one, for your insides were screaming at the bus to be quick and your leg was bouncing up and down in anticipation.

  “Not a fan of waiting are we?” Jungkook joked, pulling you away from your thoughts.

  “You’re one to talk!” you snapped back.

  The boy threw his head back with laughter, clearly not able to answer back. Indeed, Jungkook was one of the most impatient people you knew. He liked things done his way, quickly and efficiently. He had taken things ‘to fix’ out of your hands more times that you cared to count, from helping you re-decorate your room, to opening beer and water bottles for you.

  “That’s my girl.” He said, messing with your hair.

  You struggled in dismay, calling out for Taehyung’s help. He was quick to come to your rescue, pushing Jungkook off of you and leisurely dropping his arm around your shoulders.

  “I need you all to behave. Jennie, this goes to you to!” Taehyung said sternly.

  “Hey, don’t drag me into their shit! I barely did a thing! Come to think of it, who died to make you leader?” she asked.

  “All the planning me and Y/N did! You both were really no help at all!” Taehyung said, exasperated, pointing an accusing finger to both your friends.

  “Hey, that’s not fair, I was there, I helped!” Jennie said.

  You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you, so you had to answer Jennie’s glare with an apologetic look.

  “Jen, you know I love you but the only thing you did that night was eat our stock of chips and salsa and drink soju. Hardly much help” you said, breaking into another fit of laughter.

  This time, the rest of your group joined you, Jungkook even giving Jennie a playful shove.

  “Okay, okay, I admit defeat. And I will behave as long as you all do!” she agreed.

  “Deal!” you said, placing your hand in the middle.

  Your friends soon followed suit, your hands placed one over the other.

  “To a great trip, with great company” Jungkook said.

  The smile on your face grew even more as you broke away, the bus you were waiting for finally arriving. After getting your tickets and taking care of your suitcases, you made yourself comfortable in a narrow seat next to Jennie, who immediately announced she was going to take a nap. She was now laying on top of you as you listened to some music and watched the scenery come and go from outside your window.

  The boys were sleeping too and the bus ride was peaceful, giving you some time to calm your nerves and think. You buried the thought of this being your last one deep in the back of your head. Yes, uni was over, all of you graduated and ready to start ‘real lives’. But that didn’t mean a thing. Right?  

  Soon enough, you realized you were only a few stops away from your destination, so you began waking the others up. Jennie was awake after a little shake and Jungkook was only half asleep in the first place. It took all of your efforts combined to wake Taehyung up, just in time for you to get off the bus.

  Once again, you found yourself with your suitcase in your hand, but this time you were walking through the narrow passages of a city you had been enamored with for years. If you were being honest, you hardly expected your friends to follow you to this trip, but you were glad that they did.

  Taehyung was still acting as your guide, maneuvering through the streets with ease. You followed him blindly, your attention entirely on the beautiful architecture and the busy streets.

  “And if we turn here…” you heard him mumble, followed by a scream that sounded like ‘eureka’

  “We’re here, my little troublemakers!” he announced, leading you to a two-story house.

  “You rented a house?” Jungkook asked, confused.

  “Technically, it’s an Airbnb.” You informed him.

  You knocked on the door, as the house owner should be expecting you inside. Soon enough, a man in his early forties emerged from the inside of the house.

  “Ah, you must be Kim Taehyung” he said, looking at Jungkook who was standing next to you.

  You suppressed a laugh as Jungkook pointed to Taehyung who was standing a little further back.

  “That would be me, sir” he said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry for assuming. Nevertheless, come in, come in, make yourself at home!” he said, almost pushing you inside the house.

  “I am Francesco, and I’m going to leave for you here, keys and my phone number. Call me anytime, for anything, from directions, to restaurant recommendations, to the sink breaking!” he said.

  “Is the sink very likely to break?” Jungkook joked.

  “No, my boy, not at all” his face falling, his hands hanging on his sides in an awkward manner.

  “I was merely joking sir, I’m sorry if I offended you” Jungkook rushed to explain.

  The man seemed to calm down then, regaining his smile as he waved a hand in Jungkook’s direction, his words already forgotten.

  “Please kids, call me Francesco. And let me give you a quick tour of the house while we’re at it!” he urged you on.

  True to his word, he gave you a full tour of the house, even showing you a small nook that worked as a garden. You talked a bit about your plans, and Francesco was very excited to hear about them, even taking a look at your map and giving you advice about which buses to use.

  At this point, you, Tae and Francesco were alone, the other two tucked away in their rooms. Soon enough, he took his leave giving you some recommendations for restaurants and disappearing inside a yellow Fiat.

  You closed the door behind you as Taehyung entered the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He looked at you over his glass as you took a seat spreading the map in front of you.

  “That was some amount of information, huh?” you asked.

  Tae only chuckled, settling down next to you. He glanced at the map, only to set it aside a minute later.

  “We need to get to a convenience store to get some things for our breakfast. Or we just skip breakfasts altogether and eat brunch every day.” He said.

  Another round of planning later, the plan for the following days was crystal clear. You had moved to the couch, Tae’s head laying on your lap as you watched Italian television without subtitles, merely guessing at what was said. Jennie joined you at some point, looking refreshed after a shower. She took the armchair, letting her long legs dangle on its side as she scrolled through her phone.

  A couple of hours passed like that, which made you wonder where Jungkook was. Too curious not to take a look, you left the living room, taking the steps two at a time to reach what would become Jungkook and Taehyung’s shared room. You knocked softly on the door, pushing it open when you heard no sound come from inside.

  Jungkook was sat at a small desk his laptop opened in front of him, his hands typing furiously across the keyboard. Your face fell, your heart dropping inside your chest at the sight.

  “Kook. We said no work on the trip” you said, your voice small.

  He turned to look at you like a deer at headlights, his hands dropping flat on the desk. He was caught at the act and there was no escaping it.

  “You promised.” You said again.

  “It’s just… Just a few emails I swear, nothing else, I just didn’t want them to pile up-” he was saying, but you’d heard enough.

  You shook your head, leaving the room without bothering closing the door. You rushed to hide inside your own room, catching a glance of Jungkook coming behind you and slamming the door. You sat on your bed, your chest moving rapidly as you tried to get your thoughts in order.

  Jungkook had become somewhat of a workaholic in the last few months. You knew his job was really important to him, even more important that after graduation, he was promised a promotion. You were proud of him of course, happy he had achieved his goals. But it all came with a price.

  He had become withdrawn, standoffish, his texts getting shorter and shorter. He barely had time for any of you, your hangouts getting scarce and even Taehyung who he lived with, only saw him for a few minutes at a time. There was always something to do or something going on, somewhere to be or a deadline to meet.

  It took every bit of effort from all of you to convince him to come to the trip with a single condition. No. Work. Yet there he was, hiding in his room and answering emails on the very first day. Was it that hard for him to have some time for you?

  Your train of thought was cut short as you felt weight being placed on the small bed. You kept your eyes closed, knowing who it was by the soft smell of mint that graced the air.

  “I’m sorry” he said, keeping his voice low.

  You gave no reply, hoping that ignoring him would send your message loud and clear: you were disappointed. He settled in the silence, lying next to you without really touching you.

  “Y/N, please. I said I’m sorry” he tried again.

  You were determined to ignore him until he provided with a better explanation. The hand over your head helped you, because you were sure that with one glance at him, you’d break.

  That’s how it always was with Jungkook. A sorry, some puppy dog eyes and a big hug was all it took for your anger to evaporate. But not this time. This time you would prevail.

  “Look, I know I fucked up. Just please, don’t give me the silent treatment. Let’s talk about this.” He said, placing his hand over your arm to bring it away from your face.

  You let him, dropping your hand on your side and looking at him.

  “I want your laptop” you spoke up.

  “My laptop?” he asked, perplexed.

  “Yes. You’re going to give it to me and I’m going to keep it for the rest of the trip.” You stated.

  Jungkook turned to the ceiling and you could almost see the gears inside his head turning.

  “Okay. But we won’t say anything to the others.” He said.

  You gave it some thought, then nodded at his request. You looked at the clock that sat on your bedside table, only to realize it was almost 8 o’clock.

  “Let’s go, it’s dinner time!” you announced, pulling Jungkook off your bed.

---------------------------------------------------------

   Ah... Yes. This is it. You thought as you floated on the water’s surface. How could you describe this feeling? How could you put in words the relaxation and tranquility the sea brought you? You allowed it to do all the work for you, the buoyancy of the water carrying your body and letting it float. Half of your head was still submerged, your ears blocking out all sounds but your breathing. You concentrated on it, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt your muscles releasing the tension they were holding.

  You had spent the last few days exploring the city, visiting museums and galleries, archeological sites and buildings. Jungkook’s laptop was safely hidden in the drawer you kept your lingerie and you hoped he hadn’t looked for it. Today was beach day, a day Jennie made you snuggle in the perfect schedule you and Tae constructed because “you needed relaxation”.

  If you were being honest, she wasn’t exactly wrong. Although your heart leaped every time you explored the city or visited a gallery, your feet ached, getting overworked. So beach day it was, and now you were more grateful to Jennie than you’d ever been.

  You sighed, your mind throwing away needless thoughts as you enjoyed the feeling of the waves running under you, in between your fingers and your toes. You felt your hair float behind you, forming somewhat of a halo around you.

  The relaxation was broken as you heard your name urgently called out. Your eyes flew open, only to shut tightly the next second as a huge weight was pushed on your stomach, dragging you down in the water. Your breath hitched, causing you to shallow some water. Your lungs were burning, your body going on overdrive as you swam to the surface.

  You greedily swallowed breaths of air, coughing and spitting water. A pair of hands were holding you up, as you struggled to compose yourself. You felt dizzy, trying to keep breathing evenly to calm yourself down. When your breathing came back to normal, you realized Jungkook was the one holding you, your own hands safely clasped around his neck. He and Taehyung were laughing, which helped you connect the dots in your head.

  “What the fuck?” you screamed at them.

  “The idiots jumped us!” Jennie screamed, exasperated.

  You pushed Jungkook away from you the best you could, angrily throwing some water in his face. The boys were still laughing when you started swimming towards the shore. You were mad, their little joke causing every breath you took come out labored and your insides to burn.

  You got out of the water, finding the sunbed on which you had left your things and draping your body across it. You fished around your bag, looking for your water. You gulped it down hungrily, which helped ease down the pain inside you and offer you some comfort. Laying back you closed your eyes, trying to control your anger. It was just a joke, right?

  You heard Jennie plop down on the sunbed next to yours, soon followed by the muffled chuckles of the boys. You pondered throwing them an angry glance, but ultimately decided against it. There was no use in pouring oil in the fire.

  “I’m so done” you heard Jennie mumble next to you.

  You agreed with a hum, putting on your sunglasses and trying to forget what happened. The boys settled down next to you, talking animatedly between themselves as you and Jennie soaked up the sun.

  Minutes passed and you were suddenly aware that someone was blocking the sun. You opened your eyes, turning to find the culprit only to realize it was Jungkook.

  “Can I help you?” you asked with an attitude.

  He took a seat on the sand next to you, his face obnoxiously close to yours as he studied you without speaking.

  “You’re mad” he stated.

  You scoffed, turning on your back and burying your head between your arms.

  “Hey” he said, pulling at your arm for your eyes to meet his. “I’m sorry”

  You suppressed the urge to laugh at his face. He was awfully sorry these days, wasn’t he? At the same time, you decided to let your anger go. This was your last chance, your last trip, few stolen days before you had to return what had become your realities.

  “Whatever” you said with a smile. “You’re blocking the sun, Jeon. Get out”

  Jungkook graced you with a toothy grin before pulling you on your feet. With one swift movement, you were draped across his shoulders and you were running towards the water. You squealed and struggled against him which didn’t seem to faze him, his strides sure as he flung you into the water.

  This time you were prepared, so you held your breath, your burning body gladly meeting the water. A mischievous grin grew on your lips as you swam to the surface. Jungkook was laughing and you were too, now able to stand in the water. You walked over to him only to find him in a moment of vulnerability, his eyes closed as he laughed. Your movements were quick, pulling him in the water with you, submerging his head and keeping it in.

  At that moment, Taehyung surprised you, pulling you away from Jungkook and throwing you some feet away. You were giggling as you fought playfully, Jennie not taking too long to join in the water fight.

   You were still laughing loudly when you existed the water, completely exhausted.

  “God, my stomach hurts, that was a workout” you whined.

  “That’s because you’re weak” Taehyung joked.

  You gave him a hard shove, which made him stumble on the sand. Another round of laughter found you cleaning up in the beach’s showers as you all piled in the Mini Cooper Jungkook had insisted on renting for the trip.

  Finally back in your little home, you each took turns to properly shower as you and Jennie fought over what to get for dinner. Ready for a night out and about, you decided to ditch the car and walk to a restaurant Jennie had found on Craigslist.

  The night was filled with the sounds of your laughter as the conversation led to all of you reciting stories of your childhood. As you were leaving the restaurant, none of you felt quite ready for the night to be over.

  So, you stumbled across the streets of the city, looking for an establishment fit for the occasion. Soon enough, you came across a decent looking club that wasn’t packed with people. It seemed like the best combination.

  You and Jennie made straight for the small dance floor as the boys brought drinks. Taehyung handed you your drink, twirling you once around yourself for good measure. Talk subsided due to the loud music blasting over your heads but you stuck together, dancing and drinking the night away.

  Ready for another round, you broke away from the group, finding a comfortable seat on the bar and waiting for the bartender to notice you. You were placing your order when you felt someone stand next to you.

  He ordered something in Italian, turning to grace you with a smile. The man seemed to be around your age, tan and, admittedly, very handsome. You returned the smile and he asked you something in Italian.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak the language” you told him.

  “No? I could’ve sworn you were born and raised in Milan? Italian blood runs in you, ragazza” he said.

  “Maybe I do have some Italian blood after all! I do love the country, we’ve been here for a couple of days already and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to leave.” You told him.

  “We, you say. Travelling with family? Or a special someone?” he asked.

  You smiled at his question, clearly aware of his intentions. “Neither. Just friends”

  As if on cue, you saw Jungkook walking up to you. You smiled at him, momentarily not hearing what the man was telling you, your attention on him. His gaze was closed off, his steps sure but urgent as came to stand next to you, one hand circling around your waist in place of a greeting. You felt yourself gravitate to him as you often did, getting comfortable under his arms, the feeling of his chest moving up and down as he breathed, huffs of air fanning your hair relaxing to you.

  “The friend I was telling you about” you said to the man, motioning at Jungkook with your head.

   At that moment, the bartender returned with your drinks. You looked up at Jungkook, who looked as if he was about to start shouting.

  “Kook, you okay?” you asked in a low voice.

  “I will be once we get out of here” he told you.

   You nodded at him, waving a little as a goodbye to the man you chatted with. Instead of joining the others like you expected, Jungkook led you to a corner of the bar. The music was still very loud, but it allowed for some small talk. He pressed himself on you in a way he had never done before and you tried not to think about the goose bumps that raised on your skin.

  “Why him?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about?” you answered with a question of your own.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he said.

  “You’re being ridiculous” you said, shaking your head and trying to push him off of you.

  You reply didn’t sit well with him, for he pulled you back in your previous position. Your back hit the wall with force, almost knocking the wind out of you. You shot him an incredulous look but his mind was too preoccupied to register it.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he repeated. “Only me”

  His words made your breath hitch at your throat and you felt like a ton of ice cold water had been thrown over your head. Your eyes shifted between his, as your mind struggled to register his words.  

  “I’ve always, always been here and you…” he said, making your heart leap at your throat.

  “Jungkook, what are you saying?” you said, regaining your voice.

  The music, lights and people were making everything too much for you to process. His eyes were set on yours in a way that showed you he truly meant his words. You were about to speak up, when the words died at your lips.

   “Here you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you” Jennie announced, giving an end to the staring contest between you and Jungkook by pushing him off of you and linking your arm with hers.

  “Tae is just paying the bill. Time to get back!” she said, smiley as ever, leading you to the exit.  

  On your way back, you stuck close to Jennie, letting her do all the talking as you brushed her off as just being tired. Your mind was hazy, your thoughts running wild at the sheer possibility that Jungkook could be…

  Then again, would it be so absurd if Jungkook were in fact in love with you? You were close, closer than you’d been with a boy before and there had been several instances where, if you didn’t know better…

  But did you know any better? All the time you were walking with Jennie, you registered the boys walking a few steps behind you, just out of earshot, talking in hushed voices. You had to gather all your courage to glance back at them. You were met with Taehyung’s moving look, alternating between you and Jungkook. Something seemed to stir in him when he caught you staring, making all his attention turn to the boy next to him as he started talking quickly.

  Well aware of the big plans in store for you the next day, you played your ‘I’m tired’ card once again, hiding under your covers. However, sleep didn’t agree with you as you tossed and turned for hours. At the same time, you were aware that the boys were still downstairs, safely away from hearing distance.

  Your thoughts were running, and every time you felt yourself relax, sleep run away from your grasp once more. Your muscles were tense as your hands came to rub at your face again and again. You tried to get rid of your thoughts, longing for sleep but alas, it stood far out of reach. It was only when you tried timing your breaths in time with Jennie’s some hour in the night that you finally felt yourself drift away into dreamland.

------------------------------------------------------

  A hand was shaking you awake, a voice screaming over your head. Your eyes flew open, only to find Taehyung’s face hovering over yours. Once he realized you were awake, he wasted no time to shower your face with kisses, from your head, to your forehead, your cheeks and your nose.

  You giggled under his ministrations, hearing Jennie gag in the bed next to yours.

  “No matter what you do, you aren’t getting out of this. We’re bungee jumping today, Tae” you told him, your voice still groggy from sleep.

  “How dare you think that I, Kim Taehyung, would even dream of missing this one in a lifetime experience with my best friends??” he asked, throwing a hand over his heart, as if to show how your words hurt him.

  You laughed at his antics, pushing him to the other end of the bed so you could get up.

  “You fear of heights did! Now, coffee!” you announced, pulling on some flip flops and rushing to the kitchen.

  As you entered the room, you felt your smile falter. Your eyes met with his, making you quickly look away, your hands finding solace in the coffee pot as you looked for a mug.

  “Good morning” he said behind your back.

  You mumbled an answer, your heart beating fast, your back still turned to him as you looked for something to eat to mask your awkwardness. You brought the bowl of cereal to the table, screaming telepathically to Jennie to make her way downstairs quickly.

  “Rough night? You look like you didn’t sleep well” Jungkook tried to strike up conversation.

  You decided to let him. It’s not like you’ll be able to hide from him for long.

  “It’s just the way Taehyung woke me up. Once I get my dose of caffeine and I’ll be ready to go!” you said.

  “Oh. I thought…” he said, his voice trailing off.

  “Jungkook? What is it?” you tried to get his attention back to you, for his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

  “I think we need to talk. When we get back from today” he said finally.

  “If Tae doesn’t die on us, sure” you said, trying to joke.

  His expression didn’t falter and you were almost intimidated by the serious look on his face. Your body moved on its own accord, your hands moving to place themselves over his own.

  “Hey. We’re okay. We are going to talk soon” you told him.

  You offered a reassuring squeeze, which seemed to help him snap back. He intertwined his fingers with yours, a small smile growing on his face. After a few moments, he got up.

  “I’m going to get dressed. See you in a few” he said, placing a small peck on the top of your head as he left the room.

  Your heart did summersaults in your chest as you struggled to keep your expression neutral. The smile on your lips was evident however when Jennie entered the room. She didn’t openly question it, only looked at you weird, raising her eyebrows.

  You wrapped up breakfast quickly, keen to be on the road sooner rather than later. You piled in the small car once again, Jennie working as shotgun and, consequently, designated DJ. Your job in the back was to comfort Taehyung, hold his hand and assure him that everything would turn out okay.

  Arrived at your destination, you felt Taehyung stick to your side as Jennie slowly came closer and closer to you. One look was all it took for you to communicate to Jungkook that he needed to check you in while you took care of your friends.

  Taehyung was trembling and Jennie seemed to regret her breakfast as an instructor led you to a side room to help you put on your gear and give you the necessary instructions. When you were all set, you agreed that you’d jump one at a time, Jungkook first, followed by you, Jennie and lastly Taehyung.

 You stepped out to the platform for the first time and you were almost taken aback by how beautiful the scenery was. A small river, (a creek?) was flowing under you as rocks fought to overcome trees, causing the scenery to be mixed.

  “How are you not scared?” Jennie asked you.

  “Who said I’m not? I just really want to do this with you” you told her, emphasizing your words.

  She took in your words, nodding a little as you all gravitated closer to each other. There weren’t a lot of people around, but because it wasn’t your turn yet you didn’t want to be in anyone’s way.

  In front of you was a couple, who was talking with the instructor in a lively way, evidently very excited for their jump. You watched as they hugged each other, the instructor tying them up in the correct position. 3, 2, 1… And they were off, dangling upside down over the valley.

  Two voices sounded at once as your eyes found Jungkook’s. You really thought in the same way, huh. You chuckled, Jungkook answering with one of his toothy grins.

  “Excuse me”, you asked your instructor, “Could it be possible that we do that, after we finish our individual jumps?”

  “Two pairs then?” she asked.

  “No!” all four of you said in unison.

  The instructor laughed at that, weighing you up.

  “Then my guess is you along with the first jumper?” she asked.

  “That would be me, and yes, that’s right” Jungkook said, coming to stand next to you.

  She nodded, taking a quick look at the schedule in her hands.

  “Well, seems like today isn’t too busy, we’ll be able to fit you in.” she told you.

  You jumped in excitement, you and Jungkook high-fiving in victory. You thanked the instructor, only for her to inform you that it was already your turn.

  Jungkook eagerly stepped up, almost bouncing on his feet as the instructor started tying him up to the wires. They exchanged a few words and Jungkook turned to wave at you, even giving you a thumbs up. Your phone ready in hand, you zoomed in his face as he smiled at you before jumping.

  You heard his cries, reaching frequencies you didn’t know he could as you laughed away from the microphone, recording his fall. The wires were raising him back up when you were called to the edge of the platform.

  Nerves started kicking in as you handed the phone to Jennie. You pushed it all away, plastering a huge smile on your lips, disregarding your trembling hands. Your heart was beating at your throat as you half registered the instructor’s words and directions.

  “Smile at your friends and then get ready” he told you.

  You turned around, finding Jungkook had rejoined the others. You waved, mouthing ‘I’m shaking’ to Jennie who just shook her head.

  “Don’t be scared, it’s amazing!” Jungkook urged you on, giving you the courage you needed to turn around.

  “Countdown with me, okay?” the instructor asked and you nodded.

  1, 2, 3. You were flying. Your pose was bad, you were screaming without even realizing, but you were flying, cutting through the air into complete emptiness. Your heart still beat rapidly as they were pulling you up. You enjoyed the view, nature running wild around you.

  Your feet wobbled when they placed you back on the platform. The adrenaline rush was slowly but surely fading and you didn’t know if you had it in you to stand up. Your eyes met with Jennie’s terrified stare, making you get up and walk up to the others, never breaking eye contact with her.

 “You can do it! I know you can! Just jump!” you urged her on.

 Jennie gave on curt nod, before stepping out into the void. She screamed with all her might, cursing at you and Jungkook as she fell, still half screaming as she was pulled up.

  In an instant, your arms were around Taehyung’s neck, whispering soft words of encouragement in his ear. Jungkook was softly massaging his shoulders, throwing his own two cents in and urging him on. He reluctantly walked over to the edge of the platform, talked to the instructor, watching closely as every piece of wire was being attached to his body.

  “This is safe right? I can do this?” you heard him ask.

  “Tae, you’ve got this!” Jungkook urged him on from beside you.

  Jennie joined you, whispering how much she hated you, but still offering her support to Taehyung.

  “We’re a set deal, Tae! If I did it, you can do it!”

  The countdown was quick and Taehyung was screaming to the top of his lungs. You laughed at his fall, still screaming and babbling all the way down. You were ready to collapse on the bench, when Jungkook took hold of your hand.

  “You ready for round two?” he asked, eyebrows moving up and down.

  “Oh my god, yes!” you almost screamed, repressing the need to jump up and down.

  You were called onto the edge, given a set of new instructions as you were told to hug Jungkook tightly at the waist as he did the same, your eyes barely able to look over his shoulder, his head resting easily on yours. When you were all tied up, all that was left for you was the countdown.

 1, 2, 3… And you were flying again. You screamed in Jungkook’s ear as he did the same to you, holding him tighter and tighter. You barely had time to look at the scenery, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling borderline terrified. He whispered soothing words in your ear, kissing the side of your head and telling you how good a job you’d managed.

  Safely set on the platform, you felt a few tears escape your eyes as Jungkook held you. You wiped away your tears, laughing softly at your random reaction.

 “I’m just so happy” you whispered, only for him to hear.

  He patted your head, running a hand softly through your hair.

  “You make me so happy, Y/N, you really do. Thank you for doing this with me.” He whispered in your ear.

  You just then realized how close you were. With one small motion, your lips would be on his. Your noses were brushing as you tried to control your breathing, stopping your tears for good.

  “Let’s go back to the others, okay?” Jungkook asked.

  You nodded and he was quick to help you to your feet, guiding you to the others. Your arms wrapped around Taehyung’s torso as you gushed over how brave he’d been. Somehow, the hug turned to a group hug, as Jennie snuggled to your side, Jungkook on her other side.

  Your heart felt like it couldn’t take any more, such a roller coaster of emotions and so much happiness seeming unreal to you. You savored it, hoping your heart could remain strong for a little while longer, even if it had to crash at the end.

-------------------------------------------------------

  After your big bungee jumping excursion, you knew that you all needed a big meal to fill you up. Jennie once again served as your provider, leading you to a beautiful sea-side restaurant.

 With stomachs full of food and hearts lighter than ever, you returned to your home, leaving the afternoon free for all of you. You ultimately decided to watch a movie, which you abandoned only halfway through, with Jennie and Jungkook drifting off to sleep.

  You excused yourself, walking outside to the small nook Francesco had showed you on your first day there, book in hand. Slowly, the sun set over the horizon, light getting scarce and making you set your book aside. You half drifted off, your mind replaying the events of the past few days.

  You enjoyed the quiet, needing some time to yourself to recharge after being stuck to the hip with the others for so long.

  Soon enough, you heard someone making their way over to you. You could tell it was Taehyung, his bare feet making no sound as he walked over to you.

  He laid beside you with a small groan falling from his lips. Once he was next to you, he sighed in contention, making you mirror his actions. He got comfortable against you, your hips and legs touching in a way that was intimate but not too overbearing.

  It was easy. Almost too easy. But then again, everything with Tae was easy. Smiles and laughs, tears and weakness, blurting out your deepest fears or your most precious secrets. You trusted him and he trusted you. Your dynamics were easy, like a river flowing through a valley.

  “Do you know any constellations?” you asked out of the blue.

  He took a few moments to reply, making you turn to face his side profile. His eyes were moving frantically, taking in the clear night sky as your thoughts drifted, thinking how easier it would be if you were in love with him instead.

  Only you weren’t.

  “Someone once told me the night is dark and full of terrors” he said.

  “Kim Taehyung, did you just quote ‘Game of Thrones’ at me?” you asked, laughter bubbling from your chest.

  The popular show had been a bone of contention between your group for a long time, with you and Jungkook totally enamored by it and Taehyung and Jennie cursing it for becoming so mainstream. But it seems, after many years you’d at least gotten Tae to come around. Interesting.

  “Maybe I did… Nothing you can do about it now.” He said, playfully pinching your side, making you squirm and laugh some more. “But seriously, how can you tell them apart? They are just dots” he asked.

  A chuckle fell from your lips as you shook your head,

  “Oh Tae… Let me show you” you said.

  You outstretched your hand to the sky, pointing at the Big Dipper.

  “There’s one. Imagine a parallelogram…”you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “English, Y/N”

  “Oh, come on you little baby, you know what it is! It’s like a table” you said, waiting for his nod of confirmation before outlining the constellation with your hand. “You see it? Over there?”

  “I think so. Should I try to show it?” he asked, making you nod.

  His hand outstretched before you, showing the body of the Big Dipper.

  “That’s good Taehyung, good job!” you encouraged him “Now imagine the tail of a kite following it. You see it? Like that?”

  “I see it! Wow, that’s actually really pretty” he admitted.

  Your reply came at the form of a nod, as your eyes skimmed over various other constellations you recognized.

  “These are different from the ones back home. Before you leave, I’m going to take you stargazing again. I bet you’ll love them.” You promised.

  “Is it really me you want to stargaze with?” Taehyung asked you.

  Your head turned at his words, only to find him already looking at you. His arm was rested under his head, supporting him in a more upright position as his gaze was open, inviting you in, almost like saying ‘Talk to me. I’m here to listen’. You rolled to your side, your own hand resting under your head as you tried to come up with an answer.

  “I just think you guys should talk. Openly. Like grownups. Lay it all out in the open and go from there.” He said, shrugging his shoulders a little.

  “It’s not that simple” you tried to explain.

  “It can’t be harder than that. Opening up is the hardest part. It’s like tearing your heart out of your chest and laying it in front of the other to stomp on.” He said

  “Exactly. There are so many reasons why we should just brush last night off. It’ll be easier that way” you said

  “And when was anything about you guys ever easy? I just… I don’t get it. You’ve been tip toeing around each other for years and now that you finally have your chance…” his voice trailed off.

  “Maybe we missed our timing. Or we weren’t meant to be in the first place. Everything is going to change from now on… Maybe this will be the last thing that will stay the same.” You said.

  “But that’s exactly my point. Everything will be different from now on. So why not you too?” he asked,

  You rolled back to your back, not baring to hold Taehyung’s gaze any longer. The worst thing was he had a point, and you were out of excuses. You heard him sigh next to you, but your thoughts were running too fast to understand the meaning behind his sigh.

  “You know” he said, snapping you away from your thoughts “I’ve been stuck somewhere in the middle between you too for so long. For a time, it was crystal clear to me that you both felt something more. So when Jungkook came to me… I immediately told him that he should confess. But the idiot didn’t want to ‘ruin what you have’. Love is the same. Be it romantic, platonic, parental. It takes time, work, effort and two people who are in it together. It’s not some flick of a switch, you don’t wake up one day and realize you love someone. The feeling grows and grows until there’s no more to grow and then it grows some more. What I’m trying to say is, you aren’t breaking or making anything. You are simply recognizing what was always there” he finished.

  You allowed his words to sink in for a minute, really trying to absorb them.

  “When did you get so wise?” you asked,

  “Wise? I don’t know about that. I just know you. Both of you.” He said simply.

  “It’s not like I don’t want to talk to him. Or that I don’t love him. It’s just…” you said, looking for the words.

  “Let’s say that Jen and I are out of the equation. It’s just you and him. Would you talk then?” he asked you.

  “Of course! But we’ll have to wait until we get back home for that” you said.

  “Not necessarily” he answered, already getting on his feet.

   “Where are you going?” you asked him.

   “Don’t move! Just, wait here!” he told you.

   You did as you were told, lying back to face the sky, your thoughts drifting away, your head emptying out. You didn’t know how long it had been when Jungkook’s voice snapped you away from your thoughts.

  “Hey” was all he said, yet your heart picked up its pace.

  He was leaning on the door with one hand, his other was placed in the pocket of his jeans. His hair was a small mess, making you want to run your hands through it.

  “Hi” you answered simply.

  “Let’s go.” He said, motioning with his head towards the door.

  “Go? Go where?” You asked.

  “Don’t you trust me?” he asked you, smirking.

  You scoffed, your gaze finding the sky again. Nevertheless, you sat up, getting to your feet and dusting away your clothes. Jungkook watched you without saying a word, turning for the door when he realized you were ready to go.

  You saw him pick out the car keys as he led you wordlessly out of the door. You settled in the car in comfortable silence as Jungkook picked out a playlist and began to drive.

  “Do you even know where we’re going?” you broke the silence.

  Jungkook glanced at you briefly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. That gave you the chance to study his side profile as he drove, face set, arms tightly holding at the steering wheel.

  “I thought you trusted me” he said.

  “I never said that” you told him.

  “And yet you came” he said, almost snapping back at you.

  “And yet I came” you said, more so to yourself than Jungkook.

  The car ride continued in silence, music flowing through the speakers, without you paying much attention to it. You noticed that you were driving away from the city, the scenery turning from cute houses, one next to the other to green grass and crops, stacked neatly row after row.

  “We’re here” Jungkook announced, pulling up to the side of the road.

  “This is the middle of nowhere” you said, shocked to see him get out of the car.

  “Exactly. Are you coming or not?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

  You got out of the car in a hurry, more scared to stay alone in the side of the road than follow Jungkook. You had to trust him. You walked next to him, but he paid you no mind, crossing the street with you hot on his heels.

  On the opposite side of the road, was the sea, magnificent and angry, the wind making it crash on the rocks as if it was punishing them. It was lit pretty well by the headlights of the road, helping you see almost to the bottom of the cliff. Jungkook sat on the ground, making you mirror his movements.

  “Is this a good enough place to talk?” Jungkook asked timidly.

  Realization hit you, making you look around once more. You appreciated the view a hundred times over, making you look back at him with a smile growing on your face.

  “Sure it is” you told him.

  Jungkook sighed deeply, as if he had been holding his breath the whole time it took you to answer. The thought make you want to hug him, but you suppressed your urge. Now was not the time.

  “You want to go first or..?” you asked, fearing the silence for the first time.

  “I don’t think I’d know where to start. Tae said to just talk to you but… I don’t know how to talk to you about this” he said, his face hidden slightly as he looked down, keeping his hands busy by plucking grass out of the ground.

  You took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts before speaking.

  “I… I heard what you said last night. And you’re right, you know. I don’t want to look at other men like that. Taehyung told me that we’ve been tip-toeing around each other for too long and he’s right too. Ever since that night when Jimin left, I… Kook, I’m pouring my heart out here, can’t you at least look at me?” you asked.

  The weight of his gaze made you regret your words. He looked at you intensely, waiting for your next words, his eyes peering into yours. It took everything in you not to crash onto his body right then and there.

  “When Jimin left and we almost… I just can’t get that night out of my head. And I didn’t… I never thought you felt the same way after how that night played out so I-” you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “I always think about that night. But, Y/N you have to understand, I couldn’t. I could never take advantage of you like that, no matter how much I wanted you.” He said.

  “But you’d said…” you tried to tell him, only for him to snap at you.

  “I said what I said that night… To make myself believe it.” He admitted.

  Memories of the pain in your chest as you clung onto Jungkook resurface and you have to push them down. It’s no help remembering the past. Tonight, it’s about the future.

  “It’s always been you. All the girls I was with on and off, they mean absolutely nothing. They were distractions, ways to fool myself that I wasn’t hopelessly in love with you. But I am. And I don’t regret it. I only ever regret not telling you before” he said.

  At last; it had been said. Your bodies collided without you even knowing how or when, your lips finding his in a crazy and passionate kiss. You were tangled together, a mess of limps and bodies as everything faded away, leaving only the two of you.

  Jungkook was the one to pull away first, breathing heavily and connecting his forehead to yours. Your eyes remained closed, your mind trying to remember everything, from the sound of the waves under you to his hands, safely holding onto your hips and the feeling of his hair under your fingertips.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked for a second time that night.

  “You know I do” you told him.

  He pulled you both on your feet, bringing you closer to the edge of the small cliff you were standing on. You looked over the edge, the view almost taking your breath away as the sea spread out for miles on end, only to meet with the tip of the skyline.

  “Now we jump” Jungkook said.

  “Wait, what?” you screamed.

  But Jungkook only smirked at your words, counting down without a second thought. Your head was reeling, questions that would be left unanswered asking themselves one after the other. Is this safe? What if there are rocks in the bottom? We’re going to die, fuck we’re going to crash.

  You jumped, holding onto his hand for dear life as you felt yourself fall. You hit the water’s surface hard, making your muscles ache. Somewhere in the fall, you’d lost Jungkook’s hand, so you swam quickly to the surface to find him.

  He was struggling with the waves, looking for you, the wind and insufficient light not helping him in his endeavors. When he saw you come up, he swam over to you, putting his arms around you immediately.

  “That was so fun!” he said.

  “That was terrifyingly fun, yes” you agreed.

  Jungkook laughed, peppering kisses all over your face, his lips finding yours again. His lips tasted salty and you could taste the sea water on them. You were holding onto each other tightly, the sea raging around you, your feet kicking to keep you afloat, as close to each other as possible. When his hands started trailing under your soaking wet shirt, you quickly broke the kiss, not ready to get lost in it, especially under these circumstances.

  “Jungkook. We should get out” you told him.

  He nodded, leading the way over to a makeshift staircase that led you back to the top. Water was dripping everywhere, from your clothes to your hair, making shivers run up and down your spine. Jungkook entwined his fingers with yours, leading you back to the car. There, he wrapped you around in towels, snuggling next to you to share his body heat with you.

  You kissed him again, this time leisurely, taking your time, savoring the feeling. The kisses were experimental, slow enough to have you whining against him. He heard you loud and clear, deepening the kiss, his hands trailing up and down your back.

  Your moment was broken by Jungkook’s obnoxious ringtone, making you both jump. He groaned, his face falling to the crook of your neck, leaving kisses in its wake.

  “Kook. We should get that” you told him.

  “Fine.” He mumbled angrily.

  He looked around for his phone, answering it quickly and walking a few steps away from you for some privacy. You heard only bits and pieces of the conversation, so you didn’t quite understand what was being said. Slowly, you felt your eyes flutter closed, your head spinning, thoughts running. You were so happy, so unbelievably happy, you could’ve jumped off the cliff again.

  With one eye open, you saw Jungkook making his way back to you after he finished his call.

  “Let’s go back” he told you softly.

  You hummed at his words, jumping down from the front of the car and getting into the passenger seat. Jungkook settled in the driver’s seat, starting the car and driving off.

  “Who was it? On the phone?” you asked.

  “Taehyung, who else? The little snitch told Jen and she screamed that we were going to die if we jumped off the cliff… As if I didn’t research for days for the safest cliff diving spot!” he scoffed.

  “You researched for days? You planned this?” you asked, perplexed.

  “Well… I kind of thought this was my last chance so…” He said, his voice trailing off.

  “Oh Kook…” you said, entwining your fingers with his.

  “I was supposed to take you on sundown, but I fell asleep like the idiot I am” he confessed, placing small kisses on your knuckles.

  “Oh shut up” you mumbled, pulling your hand back.  

  Silence wrapped you up in the car as he kept his focus on the road and you did your best to stay awake. Jungkook parked the car not far from the house, but you stopped him before he could get out.

  “Can we… sit here for a minute?” you asked him.

  Wordlessly, he sat back, eyes never leaving yours.

  “I’m just… I’m so happy right now. But I don’t want this to be just fantasy. I need to know you’re ready to… To work on this, on us, with me. Once we get back we can’t just, I don’t know, brush each other off” you said.

  “Y/N, I haven’t been more serious about anything in my life. I’m ready to work on us however long we need to make it work. This isn’t just a hook up for me. Never was, never will be. We… We’re in this for the long run. Okay?” he said, trying to reassure you.

  His words helped your heart settle in its place, back in your chest. As you walked back to the house, hangs held tightly together, you knew that from now on everything would change. Dynamics needed to be made anew, your relationship shifting, the balance of the group’s friendship dipping.

  But you were in this together. And with Jungkook by your side… There were few things that scared you.

[searching-in-silence]

Our story and thoughts about Jikook

Hi! I first of all love your channel!

I like to tell you my story and thoughts about Jikook. Sorry in advance if it’s too long! :-D

So since august 2020 I became an ARMY, I never heard of BTS nor K-pop before, I just saw the MV Dynamite and I loved it so much. What stood out for me was the dynamic of the boys. But what I also noticed in the MV saw something weird (to me), it was the look Jimin gave JJK before he jumped on his back, I was quite intrigued by this. Anyways I didn’t think of it much further and started looking at more MV’s of BTS and soon I only listened to BTS and watched their MV’s, interviews, old clips of them, RUN BTS,… every day,hours in a row. Jimin and JJK stood out for me but I didn’t think of them as possible boyfriends yet, I just thought Jimin was obviously gay and a cute flirty guy. I was not at all familiar with the term Shipping because it’s not something we do in our country with boysbands or actors, it doesn’t exist here. So me and my sister (she is 17, I’m 33 LOL) became ARMY at the same time in 2020. My sister was way more active on Insta, Twitter,… So it didn’t take long for her to discover shipping, soon she was a Taekook shipper, she said she shipped them because she loves these 2 guys most and because of their looks and their bond. I didn’t understand much of what she meant by this or why she would ‘ship’ them at all (like what is that and why?). Anyways Later on, around September/ October 2020 I noticed more signs of Jikook being something different: like 'arriving late at an interview, 'Jimin saying he was with JK at 4 am while minutes before JK told a different story, some RUN BTS moments that looked so intimate or gay to me. I don’t know, I had a strange but loving feeling with these two. And then BAM while watching some old video’s of BTS Rookie king, American Hustle,.. I got a recommendation for a Jikook video (first ever for me), I watched it and it felt like a puzzle came together. There were moments of concerts in it I hadn’t yet seen, there were very to the point analysis. I was just Jungshook :-O From then on I watched Jikook videos every day on top of everything BTS related. When watching old stuff from BTS I kept an extra eye on Jikook now and wow I was amazed by how slowly but obviously JJK started falling in love with Jimin. But it was only after I saw CGF Tokyo (I was quite late discovering that one) I was very much convinced of Jikook being in love/ being boyfriends. So there I was being addicted to the love between Jikook. One day I talked about Jikook with my sister, who’s a Taekooker. We never did before talk about Jikook specifically, we only talked about BTS in general but that day I asked her why on earth would you think Taekook are a couple while Jikook are obviously a couple. She then said that neither of them are real and showed me a lot of Taekook and Vmin video’s. After that my world came crashing down. I never saw another ship video before, only Jikook. I was so convinced I was witnessing a very beautiful and unique lovestory but then there was my younger sister telling me, I quote: “woman seriously, what did you think? They are all close friends who grew up together and are very much into skinship and fanservice, I’m sorry sis but none of them are dating and if they are then they’re a threesome, doesn’t make sense”. She was right, the interactions I saw between Jikook I could easily see between VMin and Taekook too. I secretly cried for 2 days and felt really bad, not believing in true love anymore. I know it’s weird at my age but that’s what it was like for me. My boyfriend really looked at me like I was a ridiculous teenager but I couldn’t help it. I thought I witnessed a true love couple in front of me but I was being played. I think 2 months went by, me ignoring everything Jikook, only watching BTS in general, luckily for me there was little interaction as in skinship anyways, except for the Christmas Dynamite video when Jimin was all cozy with JJK (I blamed it on fanservice) and then the iconic Black Swan performance, which I watched a 100 times over and cried for (I blamed it on the choreographer because Jikook do make the best dance pair); but then BAM all of the sudden there was the recent Vlive BE.T.S. and I was Jungshook, I was like 'come on, they’re all over each other, but why????’ I felt a little angry at Jikook about the 'fanservice’ this time because lately they didn’t do that a lot and I felt like they grew out of it and I was content with that since my heart was broken because of the fanservice before. It felt more fair to me that the members stopped doing fanservice. But no, there was Jikook again, right in front of all of us, flirting like they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Not just Jimin also JJK was looking at Jimin like a lover. It bothered me a lot because my heart was still healing from a 'break-up’ kinda feeling. But guess what happened next: I got a text from my little sister: “oh my god sis Jikook might be real after all” I texted her back “shut up, don’t laugh at me, I’m pissed”. and she: “No seriously, what is this, they flirt like there’s no tomorrow :-O Boyfriends after all?? ”… I was shocked that she of all people started believing in Jikook, while I finally saw reality because of her and her fiends. I start doubting Jikook again. So we came together and we wrote down some facts that could indicate Jikook being a real couple. Things Jikook did or said that they didn’t do with other members. I first wrote down 'it’s in their eyes, their stares’ but my sis reminded me that it goes for Taekook and Vmin as well so no, not a fact actually. But we came up with these facts:

1) GCF Tokyo, JJK planned this for Jimin’s birthday and it was all about Jimin, you could interpret it as a film for a very special friend but the song that goes with it and the fact that it was for his birthday were too suspicious and the most important fact: he ONLY did that for Jimin, not any other member after that. 2) Jimin is the most special member to JJK. He never gave gifts on B-days to members but he did gave Jimin a B-day present in 2017, just him, not the other members. After the members pointing him about this special treatment he did start giving everyone presents but back then it was only Jimin. 3) I can write a lot about why we think this but we are sure the members are not living together at the dorms anymore, only for work or maybe they crash there sometimes but they don’t actually live there anymore. So they take different cars from there home base to get where they’re going and Jikook always take the same care, especially since 2019, not really sure they live together although we could sum up some facts that could indicate they live together but we can say they at least want to be together before and after work, like almost all the time. An important one for us is that they were both late at the live MBC Radio show in September 2020. The excuse was they took a different highway then the rest and were stuck in traffic (they were like 30 min late). That doesn’t make sense at all, why would one of the cars take a different highway if they are all following each other to get there. We suppose they all gather at the dorms to go to there appointments to make sure they all arrive at the same time at their appointments. So the cars will be following each other, which we can see that is the case, all members always arrive at the same time in different cars (except Jikook, same car). So the excuse makes no sense, it’s either that they both left a lot later then the rest from the dorms (which would be weird) OR they came from a different place (their own place?) and indeed took that certain highway and got stuck in traffic because they weren’t following the other cars. Well that is more likely right? 4) Jimin took a long flight from Paris to S-K just to spend a few hours with JJK on his B-day at the evening. Sure Jimin is a great friend for all the members but this goes beyond that. Me and my sis wouldn’t even do that for each other (our B-days are at the same day, but 16 years apart so it’s special for us too), we would celebrate after our trip. 5) Billboard 1° interview “I was with Jungkook at 4 AM …we cried together”, the day before that interview there was a Vlive for JJK’s B-day and the tension there was weird between Jikook, they seemed unhappy. Jimin was trying to say something about JJK but was caught off twice, anyways he said it the day after: 'he was with JJK’ at that time, since they all don’t live together this is very questionable, all nighter friends forever?… We both found this significant. 6) We all know that Jimin really likes snow. Bon Voyage season 4: JJK got up early and climbed a mountain (without camera’s, so not for fanservice) to get a lump of snow and then gave it to Jimin. So this moment was sweet, romantic but also really awkward, the crew being there and Jimin’s very shy reaction. We believe JJK meant this moment to be just between the two of them (JJk got up early for this) but the crew spotted him and yeah soon ((unfortunately) like 10 people were watching JJK giving Jimin that gift. Jimin didn’t know what to do or say… Between friends it wouldn’t be that awkward or it wouldn’t even happen in the first place. My boyfriend wouldn’t even do this for me, it’s too corny. 7) Rose Bowl, it’s debatable that JJK actually sucked Jimin’s ear but he at least kissed it twice and in an intimate way, this kind of intimacy we couldn’t find between any other members (yes we did search) we saw some intimate moments between Taekook and Vmin that looked very suspicious too but it was not like that special Jikook moment. This is another level. 8) As far as we know they spend the most time together off work: going ice skating, going to the cinemas, touring in London, watching the first snow together. All this in their private time without crew and cameras, no fanservice here. So we can say that even though they already work all these hours together in a day they still want to spend time together after that. J-Hope and Jimin spend time together off work too but mostly it’s Jikook who spend most time together off work. They must really like each other cause honestly I love my boyfriend but no way that I would want to be with him as much as Jikook are together, I would feel suffocated. 9) We debated a while about this one, my sis found it more important than me. RUN BTS episode 116-117 were a member (blindfolded) had to touch/feel the pose the members took to guess the song. Quite intimate game in our opinion but hey it’s S-Korea and skinship is normal… Editors for some reason did not show us JJK touching Jimin, all the others were shown, only of Jikooks scene we didn’t get the footage, just a picture of it afterwards. OK in my opinion the picture is for fanservice but why on earth leave the scene out at all, was it too intimate?, was it too awkward for the crew to film? we don’t know but fact is it was not shown. Normally I don’t over-analyse things but sis is right when she says this one is very suspicious. Editors cut a lot of scenes for different reasons but this one is just too suspicious. 10) Ever since 2013 they are all nighter buddies and JJK loves sleeping in Jimins bed. Just facts.

There is so much more to say about Jikook, like their matching rings, wearing each others clothes but that is not exclusively for Jikook, we found that Taekook also did this. Jikook does it more but still it’s not just them so we don’t take it as proof. Also hand holding, hugs, stares, it’s not something exclusively for them, they all do that, and considering these boys were very young when they got together and lived together a long time as a family, are together 24/7, it’s not surprising that in a country where skinship is normal, these boys are all over each other like there are no boundaries. It’s normal for them. Tae, JJK, Jimin, J-hope are especially into skinship but it hits different with Jikook if you consider what goes on between them beside that. Also we think there is less skinship these days which is quite normal since the members are all grown up now, so it’s a bit surprising when we see Jikook still being quite touchy. About their songs there are a lot of theories too that we can support (I am you and you are me,…) but they are still just theories.

In conclusion: My sister now believes they are a couple LOL. How fast the night changes :-) Taekook is still her favorite ship but she believes Jikook are a real couple, go figure……

I’m personally still careful in what I choose to believe so I can’t be heartbroken again if they turn out to not be a couple after all. I believe Jikook are more than friends/brothers and are likely in love with each other, possibly a couple and maybe living together :-) But still there are many things that make me question them as a couple as well and there is also the possibility that they just come off as a couple because of that special bond they have but in reality they are not. I hope they are a couple though because it would make the world a more beautiful place, I can’t explain why…

Thank you for letting me write our story here and sorry for this book I wrote LOL

Lots of love JD & S (ARMY sisters and Jikook supporters)

FROM SIS : Thank you for trusting me with your story!!! I am glad you came forward with your experience https://youtu.be/MwMLw6FdycY (I hope you don’t mind my comment at the end of it)

[iwannaholdyoutight-]

Pintaga (a summer fic challenge)

Fresh fruit. Friends to lovers. Longing.

a/n: it’s finally here! This piece of writing couldn’t happen without the one and only @helladirections. She organized this amazing challenge and you guys should read everything from her and this challenge. Please, don’t forget to reblog, this is my first fic in a very long time and I would love to see people reading it.

word count: 8k

Preview:

In the air Harry could smell the jasmines, coming from the perfume of the girl with the blue heart shaped sunglasses and dressed with a yellow one piece with little white flowers sewed to it - a vintage piece she got just the day before on a thrift shop when they were exploring. He could listen to the faint Mick Jagger voice repeating the verse “pretty pretty girl” and he couldn’t disagree, she was a pretty girl indeed.

There was nothing he wanted more than get her in his arms, tell her he didn’t know it was possible to fall in love without even kissing the person for a first time. He wanted to press his nose into her neck and feel the shivers that would pass through her body.

When Harry had to postpone his tour, he was sad. But, when 2021 finally came, he was just so happy to be able to reconnect with his fans. To see people’s faces and knowing that each person has their own story to tell when they listen to his songs. He loves that. 

It was during tour that he met Angelino, a new music producer with very different methods in his technique: zither in a mix with glam rock, alfaias with hip hop. To put it short: they became fast friends when they met on a night out after the Vegas show. 

And it was thanks to Angelino he met her. It was raining so much when the words left his friends mouth “I want you to meet someone” yet she was the sunshine walking inside the hotel. 

She wasn’t shy but also didn’t do everything to draw any attention to her. Harry was captivated to say at least. Maybe was her smile or maybe was the way she looked with such care when taking to anyone. Sadly, they couldn’t see each other for longer than a few hours. Harry had a plane to catch, she was a movie and arts major in Italy and was only there to visit a friend. But Harry just couldn’t let her go, there was something about her, he wanted to know what was hidden behind those colorful outfits she wore and all the smart talk they had during that same rainy afternoon. Being in his position he had to be careful, what he would give to be “normal” for just 5 minutes so he could flirt with this cute girl, get her number and maybe ask her on a date. But he wasn’t. So he settled with an Instagram follow and a promises she would dm him books and movies he should check it up. 

The first book she made him read was Dorian Gray - she was shocked to know he never read anything by Oscar Wilde. In exchange he tried to make this curious stubborn girl give Murakami a second chance (she still hates the book and he couldn’t lie, he got a bit sad about it). 

After a few months of conversation he finally gave in and asked for her number. From this day on, they would never stop texting each other, to the point Jeff would complain about how “he’s always on his phone and never actually listening”. 

He got so close to her and was admired with how free she was. After 20 something years stuck in her hometown she decided she wanted to met the world. Entered this course in Italy with a scholarship (she is very smart to the point it Harry is intimidated) and never looked back. 

Harry told her about his first big break up, that inspired Fine Line, told her about his fears and how love is a difficult subject when it comes to him. The loving part it’s easy the problem is when the enchantment dies and all there is left are two broken people. The one to move on first it’s always the happiest. 

But he couldn’t always live on his phone talking to this girl who makes him weak in the knees. He had interviews to attend and shows to perform. When tour finally ended, he was tired but sad, a deep space in his heart felt so empty. It’s the first time in three years he didn’t have nothing planned and he was only starting his new album in a few months. 

Harry needed a break, a nice holiday. Sadly London was cold and so was his emotions. So, when that same girl told him about this island called “Fernando de Noronha” around the South American continent and that her aunt got a house there and asked if he wanted to join her on 10 days trip there… he just couldn’t say no! 

It’s summertime whenever she is around and well… it is summertime in the south so it’s a win win for Harry, honestly. 

🐠

And that’s where Harry finds himself right now… bathing in the sun together with this amazing girl that makes him feel all mushy inside and nervous. He is almost a 30 year old man, he shouldn't be so nervous around her, but it’s inevitable. 

The moment he got off the plane, he was in love. The island was beautiful. Blue skies that mix with the blue of the ocean and the horizon. Everything seemed to be made out of glitter and rainbow colors. There was music every night, people were singing and dancing. During the day there was street fairs, boat rides and the beautiful golden light that was didn’t come only from the sun, but also a light that shined through this amazing young woman when she was laughing and trying (and failing) to play volleyball with a group of teens on the beach. They didn’t stay in a fancy hotel, they were in a simple yet beautiful house, without any neighborhood but when they went out they always went to the simplest places, surrounded by simple people. People who might know who he was, but mostly just didn’t care. Sure, he was asked to take some pictures but that was the most normal he ever felt since he was a teenager. There was a rich part in the island, lots of famous people from South America liked to spend their summer there- but for one, Harry was grateful to stay like this. 

All thanks to her...

The summer breeze in his face being exactly what he needed. He was living those sweet days of summer he was denied in 2020 because of the pandemic and in 2021 because of the tour. 

In the air Harry could smell the jasmines, coming from the perfume of the girl with the blue heart shaped sunglasses and dressed with a yellow one piece with little white flowers sewed to it - a vintage piece she got just the day before on a thrift shop when they were exploring. He could listen to the faint Mick Jagger voice repeating the verse “pretty pretty girl” and he couldn’t disagree, she was a pretty girl indeed. 

There was nothing he wanted more than get her in his arms, tell her he didn’t know it was possible to fall in love without even kissing the person for a first time. He wanted to press his nose into her neck and feel the shivers that would pass through her body. 

He wanted to kiss her and keep her forever by his side so they could be happily ever after. But Harry couldn’t. He was bad at love and he would rather have her as a friend than doing something and fucking up her as well.

“What did you say” she asked while lifting up from the towel she had on the floor, raising her sunglasses over that beautiful sun kissed hair (it was shining so much) and attentively looking at him. 

“I didn’t say a thing” was he thinking out loud? Oh my god… he is fucked if that was that case. 

“You said something about being bad at love. Why do you think that?”

Harry sat down and took a deep breath. 

“I talked to you about my love life before… I don’t think I was made for love. Some people can find love at every corner, but it doesn’t matter how hard I try, every time I think I got it right… the person just vanish out of the tips of my fingers. And I feel so bad talking about this when I know I can have anything I want, but it hurts when I’m alone in a bedroom or I’m being the third wheel again with my friends. I’m just so lonely all the time and every time I try… it just ends shitty. I get a few good songs out of it but the pain sometimes it’s just not worth it”. 

She looked at the ocean, the sun was already so high in the sky, it was probably around 11 am. Then, looking back at Harry, she gave him a weak smile. She felt like he was a mixture of everything good and he didn't deserve to feel like he wasn’t cut for love. If she could and he let her… she would give him all the love it was possible and impossible. 

“Just because it ended doesn’t mean it was bad. If it made you happy, even if just for one second, it was worth it. And even when it hurts, we always learn something.” She took a deep breath, waiting for him to say something while Harry just looked at her with soft eyes but so much sadness and sorrow behind them. He didn’t know what to say, so she decided to continue: “you know, I call it bullshit when poets say love is only good if it hurts. Love isn’t made for pain, sometimes it might happen, but love is made to give warmth and to make the soul feel like it’s being caressed in a whisper that says ‘you found me’. And there are many types of love, not all of them are made to last a lifetime”. 

He gave her a smile: 

“Do you think there is still someone to love me or have I missed my chance?” 

That was her chance: 

“I think if you look right… you will find it right next to you, so close it would surprise you” she gave him a knowing look and decided to change the subject “wanna put on some clothes and go to the street fair? We can have lunch in there, buy some nice fresh fruits and have a picnic when the sun starts to set. You can make a playlist while a set a nice towel with candles and everything we might need. Maybe… we could try some of that stuff I got yesterday, what do you say?” 

That stuff being the Argyreia seeds a friend of her had given as a gift. They were in the fridge inside a pot of water - apparently you have to leave them at least 12 hours on it so it could be ready to use. Among the effects they found of Google you could suffer from synesthesia episodes, positive elevation of your humor, sensitive to touch among others. A normal (and legal, apparently) natural hallucinogen. 

Harry decided to play cool with her confession (he thinks it was a confession) and just smirks at her as a confirmation for the rest of their day. Maybe then, he’ll have the courage to kiss her. He gets up first, offering his hand, she takes it, getting up. Being barefoot, she had to look up to talk to him, their hands intertwined, noses almost touching. Looking inside his eyes, she thinks Harry must be a magical being, that could be the only explanation to how his eyes could change color to match the nature. Normally green but right now his eyes were almost blue, maybe was the sun, maybe was the sky without a single cloud; one thing was clear: his eyes were matching the ocean and the sky but also the leaves on the palm trees with the green left in them. 

Leading the way, they got inside the house. In a secluded area (you just had to walk a lot but it wasn’t in the middle of the fancy big mansions- the house was colorful - just like everything about this island). The wood backdoor was the way they go when coming back from the beach . As soon as they entered through the gate, was a little stone way, with red and pink poppies adorning both sides, they went to the shower the house had on the outside so none of them would make a mess inside the house with sand everywhere. Then, I sei de the house, walking through the open plan kitchen, that was out of a sixties movie. Almost everything looked vintage with the most beautiful dining table they had ever seen: made out of dark wood and tall chairs, her aunt said this table was from her great grandmother. 

Then there was two little steps and it was the living room, with a lot of space, three couches and a lot of pieces of art, it looked like someone had just throw different items but, somehow made it work. Harry went to sit on a plastic chair there was right in the corner of the room and looked at the very wet very sunburnt girl:

 “You can go get ready first, I’ll wait” she smiled and thanked him, going upstairs and leaving Harry alone with his thoughts. Looking at the yellow wall full of paintings from the people of the island, he didn’t know what to do to himself, he was fucked. He got up from the chair and went to the vinyl player that stood on the far left of the living room with three boxes next to it, opening he found a lot of vinyls. Settling for one he never heard before: Caetano Veloso - Transa, he put to play. He knew about Caetano, he even putted one of his songs to play at the one night only event, the name of the song was Baby and at the time was his ex girlfriend who had showed him, but right now the only thing he could think about when listening to this very psychedelic song that was playing through the speakers, the only thing he could think about is the same girl who is taking a shower just a few feet away and how much he wants the hours to pass faster so they can get high and listen to the playlist he was making and was to add also this album he was listening, especially after a quick google research about it, having now the acknowledge that transa translates to sex. 

She came downstairs with her hair still wet, wearing her old pink converse and a yellow sundress, with the cute straps and a short but very loose ends. She had this glow someone can only achieve when you just spend the day at the beach with dear ones. Free of any makeup she was with his ray bans and gave him a soft look “I hope you don’t mind I got your ray bans to wear. They just look they were made for this outfit”. 

“No problem. Give me ten minutes and I’ll be done”. 

Taking the fastest shower he ever took in his life, he put on some old jeans short and his favorite pink summer shirt. And he ran - literally ran - downstairs because he felt like this was a date. He was excited. 

“So, wanna take the bikes or see if we can get an Uber” there was this thing, neither one of them had the license required for the island and even if the Uber app worked there… it was hard to find drivers who were willing to drive to such a far area. 

“Let’s take the bikes. They have baskets so whatever we buy we can just carry back” 

“Sure”  

They went through the front door, the house was painted in blue, to match the ocean, with lots of different plants and those same plants, especially the clambering plants, gave the house this almost fairy vibe. Like it was made of a golden and rainbow dust and everything that it’s good. The bikes were located near the wall and close to the small pool. One bike was white and the other was of a bright orange. Harry got the bright one because it was slightly bigger, so he would feel more comfortable. 

🍓

They rode the bike for around 10 minutes, passing fields and trees that were so tall it almost felt like their leaves were kissing each other. Harry kept ruming gold and braid by stevie nicks the whole ride while dividing his attention between the girl riding the white bike a few meters ahead and the surrounding area. There was no one in sight for the first few minutes, but the closer they got to the center of the island, more people started to appear. In a few days living in the island  he already observed that he could pinpoint who was a tourist and who was a native by one thing: the clothes. 

The citizens always dressed like it was just a normal day (like imagine you normal day it’s living in paradise) and people from the outside always went out like it was a beach party everyday. As soon as Harry notice that, he always made sure to dress quite simple, so people could pass him by. Of course, sometimes someone would try and talk to him with the native language (which he learned is portuguese and not spanish, as he originally thought it would be). 

They descarted their bikes on a small wall that was made for this purpose, with digital locks and everything (it was 5 bucks the hour and all you had to do when it was the time to pick it up you just put on your card to pay for the time you used the spot). They started to walk towards the street fair that was in a pretty street with old houses from the colonial era. The more they walked, closer their bodies touched and closer they were from holding hands. 

People never talk about the conversation that goes when it comes to small touches. Sometimes, a small caress of a finger against someone's hand, it’s more than the act of touching, it’s an act of questioning: are we feeling the same? I wanna hold you hand like my soul it’s holding yours, please take care of it, because it’s your to take. 

They started holding hands the moment the took a turn to the street fair, and if anyone looked at them, would say there were a couple. And it was nothing more that their entire wish that that statement was actually truth.

In the window of a red brick house there was an old man with his guitar, he sung something of their culture and a few people were dancing to it like it was a show. Harry was so in love with this environment, people lived and breathed culture. It was a break he never needed. He already went all around the world and it was on a simple island that he found something he didn’t know it existed.

“Where do you want to go first?” Asked the girl looking up at him and squirting her eyes because of the sun. She had his sunglasses but they were acting more like a headband to that mess it was her hair than to their actual function: protect her shining beautiful eyes from the sun. 

“How about we go and buy those fruit for our late evening picnic and then we go have lunch? And from there we see where to go”.

“Seems like a plan, let’s find the vendor with the most variety of fruits, wanna taste them all” And I wanna taste you, thought Harry but he just accepted it wasn’t the time yet. He didn’t want their first kiss to be in the middle of a fair with so many eyes watching. Harry hasn’t been recognized too much but he couldn’t risk too much. 

Walking they passed a group of old ladies - like maybe in their 80s- selling beautiful handmade dresses and skirts and shirts, all made in white lace. Such a beautiful work, and Harry made a mental note to come back later and get something for his mother and sister. That was something they would like. 

Finally they reached a wooden table full of different fruits and behind it was an older and a younger man, if they had to guess, they would say there were grandfather and grandchild because of their faces similarities: dark skin with very powerful green eyes. While one had the blackest hair either one of them had see, the other one had silver strings in different parts of his hair. In their mouth they carried a soonting smille. They approached the table and the older one started to talk in the native language and he was speaking in such a enthusiastic manner that Harry didn’t have the heart to explain he new close to nothing about portuguese. But the young man seemed to have noticed who he was, touching the talking fella head and saying something in his ear. He stopped talking and was, now, quiet, but never ending the smile in his face. 

“Sorry about that. My name is Sol. What can I do for you guys?” The girl beside Harry gave him this shining smile and started talking:

“Hi, Sol.That means Sun right?” 

“Yeah, my family it’s a very hippie family. Actually I have two sisters: one it’s called Lua, her name translates to ‘moon’, and the other it’s called Frida. By the way,if it’s not too much problem Mr. Styles, I would like to get an autograph for them, they are big fans of you. And what about your name, sunshine?” asked the young man. Harry was jealous he was flirting with her - and he wasn’t entitled to feel jealous, but that’s what he was feeling - so he put his arms around her and told her name getting an angry yet amused look from her. 

“And no problem about the autograph… we would like to take a bit of everything you can recommend us. We are going to do a picnic and want to try everything that it’s different”.

“But please add a bit of those gorgeous strawberries, they look yummy”said the girl next to him “ and what it’s that?” she pointed to a pink yet green round fruit. 

“That is pink mango, very famous around this island. She is sweeter than the normal ones you found, actually there are over 24 different types of mango around the south territory, but right now we only have this one. But we’ll be getting more around monday morning if you guys are interest.” He gave them a time to think if they wanted to buy it or not.

“I love mango. Put 3 of these, please.” Harry said giving a genuine smile, everybody knows how much he loves fruit… among other stuff that could be fruit related. He saw a small fruit, that looked like a cherry but it had this red/orange to it’s tone and it wasn’t completely round, so he asked: “Sol, what is this type of cherry?”

“Oh that one? That it’s pitanga. This fruit smells like trees and something sweet that takes you back to your childhood, if you lived on this island” he laughed like he was remembering a distant memory inside of his green eyes but continued soon afterward his little journey through memory lane “My mother used to say this fruit it’s like when you fall in love at first sight: first comes the infatuation, the smell that reminds you there is so much good in the world and all of the good is all in one person. Then, when you first bite to it, first it has a sour taste, like when you get insecure about first kissing someone, but they, you get the courage and kisses them… and it’s amazing and sweet.” 

Well Harry didn’t need more and said:

“Give me 12 strawberries, a few limes so we can make drinks, those mangos,a bit of that gelly that looks yummy, and half  a pound of those pitangas”

“All done. That is going to be 25 and 75 cents” Both Harry and the girl tried to pay the guy, in the end, she ended up paying, earning a glare from Harry and looking at him like saying ‘what’. The boy returned with the change and the piece of paper for the autograph, Harry signed told him he would be back monday morning to get those other types of mangos and he could bring his sisters if he wanted to,he would gladly meet the girls. 

They said their goodbyes and continued their walking, now holding hands without questioning. 

“You know out of all those fruits the one I’m more excited to taste it’s this pitanga one” she told Harry. 

“Me too”

He knew she was talking more than just the fruit.

And so was him. 

With the sound of ocean and the winds in a mix with people chatter, they walked through the fair. Stopping for a quick lunch (some natural sandwiches with coconut water to wash it down) they looked around a vintage music store.

“It’s getting late, I wanna go back to the house if you don’t mind… get some sleep so I’m not tired when it’s time for our little luau” she said looking at him with tiresome eyes “oh maybe I’ll dress like a little witch!!!! So we can perform a little moon ritual”

That put a smile in Harry’s face. 

“You know Stevie would actually love this”

“I can’t help getting a bit starstruck every time you mention Stevie Nicks”  

“I get starstruck every time I remember that I’m actually her friend... it’s inevitable, she is a legend and an amazing human being”

They were walking and talking about Stevie Nicks and Harry was telling her all about the first time Stevie listened to Fine Line and by the time they got close to their bikes. Just like yesterday, Harry was ready to pay for their bikes parking lot but she was not having it. He was always paying for every little thing (the first time she got to pay anything was the fresh fruits just a few hours ago). So she looked at him when he was lost looking at the turquose sea and just ran away towards the bike.

She heard his scream- a soft loud HEY - and just when she was reaching for the bikes she felt two arms wrap around her waist and pull her out of the way. But they both lost their balance, falling towards the wall of bricks next to the bikes. Her head hit the wall a little bit to harshly makig her let out a low “oh” all that while he crushed her into the same wall. 

Puting his hand in fits next to her face, Harry took his face off and lowered to be abble to look at the pretty girl in the eyes. He noticed she was standing on her toes to get closer to him, if he took a deep breath he could smell her perfume, a mix of peach and tangerine. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had never been as close to her as he were now. Harry was abble to see how beautiful eyes eyes were when the sun was high up in the sky and his face too close, he could see how her eyebrows had a thin yet natural draw or how her cupid bow were a little bit more colored than the rest of her lips. He could listen to the wind, bringing a message from the ocean: “it’s time to kiss her, you fool”.

He took her messy hair from her eyes, cradling her face in on hand while the other was kept on the wall, so he could have a sense of what was real. It was the perfect moment. 

Or not. 

Time simply wasn’t on Harry’s side, as he thought. Because someone started to yell at him in a language he couldn’t pinpoint the country, maybe Russia because of how pale was the old couple looked. They were point at the bikes and yelling at them, people were looking and she was blushing. 

“I think they want to park their bikes and we’re on their way” she told him “maybe we should just go home. 

 🍄

The sun was now close to say it’s farewell for the day. While Harry was busy making a nice playlist (and also giving himself a talk: “you are going to kiss her tonight”. Maybe if started to say all the time like a mantra in would come true). She was making the perfect ambience for a beach party for two. Opening in the sand a round beach towel with lots of candles for when the only light in the sky was the moon and stars. The fruits all in pretty plates made out of wood and she also melted dark chocolate - it would look cool with the strawberries. 

The sky was a mix of pretty colors: pink and purple and orange and everything that would make a perfect painting . 

She was using this old seventies skirt from her mother (a tie dye skirt with all the colors of the rainbow) and a Stevie Nicks shirt she stole from Harry the night before to sleep. Her hair was falling from her face, dancing with the wind just as her skirt. 

It was that moment that Harry made his appearance: his safe sex shirt, yellow shorts, barefoot, no rings. Smiling at her, she thought she looked like he looked like a prince out of every seventies groupies fantasies. 

Harry was holding this old radio and in his hand there was a mixtape. Only Harry would come up with the idea of using this old radio that her aunt left at the house as a source for playlist making. Spotify playlist just wasn’t enough if he wanted impress her. In the words of his friend Rob Sheffield: “mixtapes are like pictures but with sound”. 

And Harry was planing of making this evening a picture he would always remember with lovin’ care. 

“Doesn’t he looks handsome” she walked towards him to help him with settled everything he brought down. If she wasn’t mistaken, he was blushing. 

“The seeds are ready if we want to try it now” Harry said changing the subject. 

“Let’s go. It takes half an hour to kick and till then we can talk some more” 

 The seeds didn’t have any taste, almost like any pill you wash down with water. 

“Wanna eat one of those fresh fruits?” He said getting a piece of de the pitanga “quite anxious to try this one” he said getting one of the small pitanga fruits. 

At first bite it was quite bitter, he was glad Sol had told him about that. But the more he ate, the sweater it got. It was something he couldn’t describe. 

“So what do you think?”  She asked. 

“The explanation that Sol gave to us it’s the best one. It changes taste the more you get used to it. The same is with feelings, right?” 

She smiled at him and opened her mouth: “give me some then….” He got one of the fruits and feed her. But he didn’t take his hands of her, leaving there so he could feel her neck veins move with her chewing. 

“It’s so sweet in the end… almost like an orgasm”. Harry was fucked. 

The time passed and they talked about anything and everything. The sun was almost all the way down as they looked over the horizon. 

“So… is it starting to hit for you? ” she asked with a coy smile while getting herself more of the fruits. 

He saw her red lips curve around the fruit and suddenly everything was changing colors. The world was red as the fruit she was (so deliciously) tasting. Red like the passion he was beginning to feel for this carefree girl. But she... she was golden. Her aura was just shining through her. 

It’s no secret he falls in love with people with golden aura- Stevie has said so herself when he first showed her his second album - and she is shining so much he thought the sun had come down to earth. 

Maybe she was the sun, even if it the stars were starting to take their place high in the sky, she was sunshine. His sunshine. It’s never night when she’s around.

“You know, it’s starting to hit” 

“And how do you know that?” 

“You’re golden” 

She laughed at him

“Are you quoting to me a song you wrote about another woman, Styles?” 

“No. It’s your aura. It’s shining. And is golden” 

That left her with no answer. 

“What about you?”  

“What about me?” 

“Seeing anything?” 

She could see the rainbow inside his eyes. She was always attached to everything that was colorful, from a young age. And right now there was this rainbow of lights playing with her vision. And it was all because of this beautiful young man standing right in front of her. 

“Yeah, I think I can see everything” happy with her mysterious answer, she looked at the ocean. The waves were moving slow and in pretty rhythm, inviting her to dance together. 

Today all of the nature was rooting for them. Getting another pitanga she could feel the sour before the sweet. Giving her body chills. She looked at him and those chills only got stronger but so was her bravery: “will you dance with me?” she asked. 

“Well... of course young maiden I shall dance with you” he laughed at his own joke while getting up and offering his hand. 

In that moment their worlds collided: their hand were glued together seeding all of different feels from one body to another. They didn’t need to talk to understand: there was a feeling of belonging neither of them never felt even if once they thought they did. This was a moment once in a lifetime: the moment you look at someone and you see them slightly different from one minute ago. When all of the puzzles pieces starts to make sense: what they were feeling from the moment they got on this island wasn’t only attraction it was months of friendship that intertwined them towards something stronger. Something they knew it was blooming inside their chest. Something new, something exciting. 

Something beautiful.

He twirled her in his arms and then let her rest her head in his chest, right where his heart was beating so loud and fast, just for her. 

“You know it feels like the world is almost too much right now” Harry heard her say “it seems like there are more sound than before, the ocean is actually a song ya comes together with your heartbeat and when you touch me it feels like there is a more to than just a simple touch, like it’s your souls that’s touching me, you know?” He starts to caress her right arm with the tip of his finger, he wanted her to feel more of whatever this she was describing. “Or maybe that’s just the seeds talking but it just feels like something I never had before” 

God, she looked beautiful right now blushing with all the glitter around her and her lips red from all the fruits. 

It’s time. 

“I wanna taste those pitanga lips. Can I?” He asks while still caressing her arms with the tips of his fingers, getting her dizzy and seeing everything with light tones of pink, just like the shirt he wore to the street fair. She wants so much that in a moment of pure infatuation she raises her hand, feeling his chestnut curls, looking into his green eyes that looked almost a dark blue due to the lighting and finally she answered: 

“Anytime. Everywhere. Anywhere” 

He gave her a soft kind of fucked up smile, getting a good grasp of her hair and pulling her towards his mouth. 

She spent so much of her time wondering how does Harry Styles kisses but nothing could get her ready to what she felt in that moment. His lips were a bit chapped because of the sun and the weather, they both were a bit clumsy because they couldn’t feel their faces but the soft touch of his tongue contrasting with tight grasp he had on her hair was making her body feel like it was part of the sand they were standing while he was the ocean, one doesn’t belong without the other, in a painting they would always be together and if that kiss was any indication... so would be their lives. 

He gave her a small bite on the lips and laughed: “I’m so sorry, I can’t feel my lips” and she started to giggle because she couldn’t feel a lot, but she could feel him. All of him. 

“I’m so glad we finally kissed” she said in a whisper. He looked inside of her eyes before putting his eyes right on her left cheek and flicking his eye lashes while she was having a fit with laughter... everything was too much in their state of mind. And this little touch made her feel like Harry has been tickling her soft skin for hours. 

“If you’re so glad that we kissed...  you wouldn’t mind if we kissed a bit more, right?” He said in a sensual whisper in her ear while giving little bites. 

She pulled him by his hair in a hungry attack. Moaning into his mouth. Sucking his tongue. Smiling when they took small break. 

They were standing, her on the tip of her toes, trying to reach him but Harry had other plans, whispering a small “come here” he took her by the waist and made her jump so he could walk back to the beach towel and sit down with her on his lap. 

With Harry’s hips between her knees, that wasn’t a inch to separate them. All of their bodies were touching and each particle inside of them was screaming in delight. The feeling of having someone near when the mind is in such a state of inebriation was out of this world. It was paradise. 

But maybe their state of mind is just a plus because Harry is pretty sure it could be 10 am on a Sunday and she would make him feel the same way he was feeling now: completely in bliss, in a hypnotic state of mind because of her pitanga lips and the warm energy. She was his sun, his warmth when they would feel could. A little piece of magic after so much pain in love. And Harry couldn’t deny anymore: he was falling. 

She stopped kissing him and decided to give small kisses in his neck and every time he moaned she would increase the strength of this kiss. 

Harry was quite literally seeing stars, but not only the ones in the sky. He was seeing the stars coming together in a show: each constellation was dancing on its own circle of star friends. And there were always changing color: pink, golden, red, silver. 

They were dancing in a celebration because two stars that were meant to be were finally coming together as one. 

That was the moment that Harry decided that he wanted more. He pulled her out of his neck and asked: “I love that you are wearing my old shirt but there is nothing more in this world that I would love more than being able to see you without it. Can I?” 

Her response was clear: raising her hands above her hand, the - now- moonlight caressing her form when Harry took her shirt off. She was perfect, every little thing about her was just so her, from the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra to how she had this little moon necklace and a little citrine stone resting right on her heart. 

He didn’t want to lose more time, he started to give little pecks on her nipples and when Harry heard a moan and a whisper saying “finally” he just went ahead and took the everything he could from her chest inside his mouth while his hand was playing with her right breast and his other hand was supporting her back so she wouldn’t fall off his lap. 

She was seeing stars, she could feel everything and anything. His mouth was powerful, like he knew all the buttons to push and that was only the beginning. Moving her hips in circle movements she started to moan more loudly. Using one hand to pull his hair and grinding faster on his growing dick and finally earning a full on moan from her she took his head of her chest and said “I need you, please take off your clothes” 

She didn’t have to say more. After this they disrobed so fast they didn’t knew they were able. Now, completely naked, she looked at Harry with a mischievous look and went back to his lap, but before she could do anymore than that, Harry stopped her, using his force to manhandle her body to a lay down position “I promise you that I will be inside you in a moment, but first, I need to taste you, I need to hear your moans and know that’s all because of me, all because of my tongue” 

She lost her power to speak but she was pretty sure she kind of screamed “yes” without intending to. 

Harry spread her open and looked at the mess that was between her legs. He did loved tasting the pitanga. But he was pretty sure that nothing would compare to the taste of her. 

He took his finger and started to pass lightly through the inside of her right thigh and she was trembling already “this seeds are making me more sensible fuck” he heard whisper. Smirking he answered her: “oh so this is all the seeds and not me? Pet, you are breaking my heart now”. 

In a revenge he took the same finger that was caressing her thigh and passed from her opening to her clit without any warning. 

“Fuck fuck FUCK please just touch me already. My whole body is burning in flames all I can see is a burning flame” he decided to end her suffering. Taking his thumb and lazily caressing her clit in slow but strong circles. 

“Are you happy now, Pet” 

“Yes but please, give me more” 

In a responde Harry took his tongue and licked her right on her clit and started to use the tip of his finger to tease her entrance. 

Her moans started to get louder and Harry didn’t have a care anymore, just her taste. That’s the only thing that matters. 

While his lips were sucking and licking her clit his finger were working inside of her. When he wanted to change he would put his finger in her clit and would go to her pretty hole and use his tongue to tease her. 

Every time he saw she was getting closer to her orgasm, he would stop what he was doing and would just use the tip of his finger to tease her while he kissed her thigh. When her breathing was back to a more concentrated peace he would get back to give her everything he could with his tongue and finger. 

And that went on for a while: lips, tongue, fingers. Saw her getting close? Stopped for a while. 

When he was doing the pattern for the third time she signed: “I need to come, please let me come?”

 Harry wasn’t doing this to be mean, he just wanted to be the only thing she could feel and see. Wanted this to be so good she would never want to be away from him again. And when he saw her trembling lips and eyes full of tear he new she has enough, so he moved his finger in a “come here” motion while she was wetting and wetting more and more his hand, dripping down to the towel and her screams were so loud that if there was a single soul in the almost private beach, he was sure they could listen. 

When she was done he took his finger off of her linking each one of them while patiently waiting so she could get back to her state of mind and tell him what she wanted next. 

“Hey, there is a condom in the fruit basket” she said 

“You dirty little thing, were you planning all of this?” Harry said taking the condom and opening carefully. 

“No but I had my hopes up” 

She looked so perfect with the sweat on her body dancing around the moonlight, he smiled and asked sweetly: “how do you want me?”

“I want you on top, want to be able to look inside your eyes” He wanted that, too. 

“Your wish is my command” whispered Harry while settling on top of her. He stroked her face with one arm supported beside her hand. “Are you ready for me” She nodded with starry eyes and asked:

“And you, are you ready for me?”

Harry guided himself inside her, getting his mouth closer to her left ear and whispered like it was a secret and she was the only one who had the right to hear: “I have been ready for you my whole life” and then he was inside of her. While she was breathing hard, he was whispering sweet nothing in her ear, trying to calm himself, he wanted this to last.

“You can move, you know” that was all Harry needed to start to pick up his pace, making sure every time he came closer to her his pubic bone would caress her clit. She was whimpering and he was completely hers. 

He picked her leg up on his shoulder and said: “I need…. fuck…. I need to get closer to you”. She was feeling all of him stretching her a little bit more every time he pushed himself inside of her. Hitting her g spot so perfectly she was seeing stars - and this time was all because of him, not the seeds. 

Her body was on fire and the delicious warmth was starting to form in the pit of her stomach. She was going to come again, and she was going to come hard. 

“Come on, baby. I can feel you squeezing me so hard. I know you wanna come. I need to feel it” Harry said, his movements becoming each time more out of rhythm, chasing his own peak. 

Bringing his hand to her clit, it was only three flicks of his fingers till she was shaking and her eyes were closing. Her mouth forming a delicious smile, one full of satisfaction. And it was watching her come that Harry felt his need to come as well. Closing his eyes and feeling his whole body shake with release. 

The only thing surrounding Harry was her. Her name. Her smell. The feeling of her. Everything was her. 

When their breathing was back to a normal rhythm and the moon and stars were high in sky, Harry looked over her naked body laid down on all the towels, surrounded by fruits and  golden from the candle lights. He was starting to sober up and there was so much he wanted to tell her, but he settled for one single sentence: 

“You are a wonderful creation” he told her. 

“Look at you quoting Dorian Gray to me!” She said smiling lightly “Do you remember that was the first dm I ever sent you? Telling you to read that book.” 

“Of course I remember. I remember everything you ever said to me” he started laughing with the memory “you know, after that message I went running to the closest book store? I wanted to do anything to have a reason to talk to you, even if it was just a dm. I wanted you to think of me all the time, because since that moment I saw you on that raining afternoon my heart started to beat in synchrony with yours” now it’s time to say everything, before it’s too late “you know I’m falling for you right?” 

She looked at him like he was the brightest star in the night. 

“I know, I’m falling in love with you too” she told him while laying her her on his chest and started to trace the butterfly tattoo “And now?” 

“Now I think I have a new song about another fruit to write”. They both started to smile, sealing the deal. She got another pitanga and popped into her mouth and he smiled. He was happy.

[ladyreapermc]

KEANU MASTER LIST

KEANU REEVES - One Shots

Netflix and Chill: Keanu picks you up for your date

Cuddle Session: On a rainy Saturday morning, you spend the morning in bed with your boyfriend.

Solace: after an anxiety attack, Keanu is there to comfort you.

Random Meetings: you meet Keanu at an after-party.

Vintage: you take care of a tired and sore Keanu

By the Poolside (smut): Keanu finds you taking some time off by the pool

Cherry Cola Milkshake (smutish): Keanu tries out your favorite dessert

Think Twice(smut): you’re making a new rom-com with Keanu and your ex-boyfriend. Jealousy ensues.

Smell of your Skin(smut): Keanu’s coming home after being away for a press tour.

Kiss me thru the phone (smut): You’re away from home for work. Phone sex happens.

Graham Norton: based off Keanu’s first appearance in Graham Norton and the ‘I never’ bit.

Together: Keanu finds out about the reader’s depression and bulimia and comfort her.

Misbehaving (smut): you meet Keanu in a party and the two of you end up having public sex.

Leave your lover (smut): You’ve been friends for 15 years. Then one rainy night changes everything

Listen: you tell Keanu about a traumatic event that happened five years ago

Reunion: Keanu is your date for your high school reunion

Like Lust (smut): AU set on mid-nineties where Point Break bombed on the box offices and Keanu quit acting to become a musician. You meet him at a gig.

Just a trim: Keanu’s beard is a little out of control so you take matters into your own hands.

Punishment (smut): Teasers get punished. That’s the rule. And you teased him all through his show.

Tropical rain (smut): your vacation with Keanu on a tropical beach isn’t going as expected.

Maple Syrup (smut): Strangely enough, Keanu might be the one Canadian you know who doesn’t like maple syrup, but you are working on changing that.

About that Bass: seeing Keanu playing the bass is one of the hottest things you’ve witnessed.

What kind of man (smut): Tom was kind and funny and sweet. He was perfect for you. But he wasn’t what you wanted.

Play to win (smut): you make a bet with Keanu. Whover loses has to get naked. The only problem? You had no clue on how to play pool.

Helping Hand (smut): You’re horny, Keanu is away, so you take matters in your own hands.

KEANU REEVES - SERIES

This isn’t a rom-com (Keanu x OFC) (smut) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17: Keanu and Lilah meet at the set of John Wick. Rom-com shenanigans ensue (completed)

A Wish Your Heart Makes 1 2 3: Cinderella AU. During a masquerade ball, you end up kissing and falling in love with Keanu. Only one small problem, he’s your boss and you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place (completed)

Catching Feelings (Keanu x OFC) (smut) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. (completed)

Thank you kindly Sir (smut): AU Keanu is a mechanic that helps you out when you’re out of luck Part 1 | Part 2 

Always the Quiet Ones series 

Always the Quiet Ones (smut): you’re a housekeeper in a hotel who gets seduced by one of the most important guests of the hotel.

The Proposal (smut): Follow up for Always the Quiet Ones. After a month away, Mr. Reeves is back and he has a proposal for you.

Dark Paradise (smut): AU! With their ‘arrangement’ in place, reader and Keanu go apartment hunting. Part of the Always the quiet ones universe.

Without you (smut): Keanu is gone and you have to deal with his absence and fixing your brandnew apartment on your own.

KEANU REEVES - DRABBLES

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30| 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 |

JACK TRAVEN - One Shots

At the amusement park: your first date with Jack at the amusement park

Stimulus Equivalence (smut): Jack distracts you while you’re trying to explain him a concept

Line of Sight (smut): you’re a sharpshooter for the LA SWAT when you meet Traven at a hostage situation

Come and See me (smut): after a bad day at work, reader asks Jack to come over for a booty call. Things don’t go exactly as planned.

Touch Too Much (smut): Jack has you tied and blindfolded and he likes to tease

Hanging by a Moment: For a long time you had a crush on Jack and before you could do anything about it, he met Annie. Now, two years later, maybe you two have a second chance.

JACK TRAVEN - Drabbles

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

JOHNNY UTAH - One Shots 

Partners: There’s a stakeout and you’re stuck with Johnny Utah for a partner. You hate him. Kinda.

Surf Lessons: Johnny wants to teach you how to surf. You know it’s a bad idea.

Hatef—k (smut): Johnny is your partner and you hate him until a pencil skirt changes everything.

Closing Time (smut): You work at a clothing store, you get a last minute customer at closing time and sexy times happen.

JOHNNY UTAH - Drabbles

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11| 12 |

JOHN CONSTANTINE - One shots

Tremors: Summary: you comfort Constantine in his time of need

Movie Nights: Constantine takes you to the movies

Hell ain’t a bad place to be (smutish): Constantine meets Satan. They are not what he was expecting

Removing Temptation: you try to help John quit smoking. He’s not all that happy with that.

Toxic (smut): you’re about to get married when you get a visit from Constantine

JOHN CONSTANTINE - Drabbles

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

JOHN WICK - One Shots

Meet Cute (John x OFC): Lilah finally gets to meet the tall, dark and handsome man she had been lowkey crushing on for the last four months when his dog gets loose and comes to play with her

Safe and Sound: John comes home from a mission and needs a back rub.

Too Sober, Enough Sass: you meet a tall, dark and handsome stranger who saves your life

Blood in the Cut (smut): follow up to too sober, enough sass. You find John Wick in your apartment, hurt and in need of a place to stay

Empty Chair (smut): John is tied to a chair. You have all the control

Dark of the matinee (smut): John takes you to the movies, but he can only focus on you.

Salute: you catch John signing and dancing (sort of) to your favorite song

Sick day: John gets sick and you take care of him

Kisses in the dark: John returns home late at night after a job and tries not to wake you.

Ballerina: Jardani helps a ballerina in the Ruska Roma.

Blurry Lines (smut): Wick is after a guy who sometimes work for you and that puts you under his radar so you run. Not fast enough though.

My Boy Builds Coffins (smut): Follow up to this drabble. You and John get some unwanted visitors during sex.

Friday Night:  t’s been a long week, but fortunately John is there to make it better

JOHN WICK - Series

Sympathy for the Devil (smut) 1 2 3 4: Your best friend is getting married and you’re very excited until you find out that your ex is coming to the wedding. After a  night of too much drinking and without a date for the big day, you summon a demon to make a deal (completed).

BROOKLYN BABY SERIES

Brooklyn Baby (smut): AU. John knew he was going to regret letting his daughter Daisy throw her 21st birthday party in his house. He just didn’t know how much.

A little loss of innocence (smut): AU. After your encounter with Mr. Wick during Daisy’s birthday, you can’t stop thinking about him and decide to pay him a visit.

Insatiable Craving (smut): AU. Visiting Daisy’s dorm, John runs into Y/N instead and they can’t keep their hands off each other.

Make it Hurt (Smut): AU Bee visits John and finds a very different man than she has grown used to. A very good kind of different in her opinion.

Play with Fire (Smut): AU. When Daisy shows up unannounced, John has to find a way to play it cool while Bee is being a tease

JOHN WICK - Drabbles

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

Other characters - One shots

Your racing heart (Julian x Reader): after fainting, you’re taken to the hospital and Julian is your doctor.

In your Arms (Julian x Reader): Julian comforts the reader after they lose a patient

I’ll Wait (Julian x Reader): Follow up to Your racing heart. You ran into Julian again at a coffee shop when he’s awkwardly talking to his ex. You pretend to be his girlfriend to give a hand.

Domestic (Julian x Reader): based on this anon request - Can i request a Dr. Julian Mercer x reader domestic fluff????

Boy for Rent (Scott x Reader): Scott asks you to stay after a night of work

Trade mistakes (Dr. Beck x Reader) (smut): You’re a call girl and Dr. Beck is your client. You shouldn’t be getting this close to him, but it’s impossible not to.

Treat me like your boyfriend (Matt x Reader): when Matt asked you to tutor him, you weren’t aware of the mess you were about to step in.

Sweep Escape (Kai x Reader) (smut): you meet Kai in the slave ship. He’s a fighter, you’re a healer. Both against your will. Being together is a solace against the horrors of the world.

Closer (Donaka Mark; August x Reader) (smut): you and August go undercover to dig information on a Donaka Mark, but get caught and end up in a very unsual situation.

Other characters - Drabbles

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7| 8 |

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

Undercover; Jirou x Poly! Reader x Momo

Jsjsjs okay, poly x reader (Bc I'm a closeted poly irl lmao) How about jirou x reader x momo, but they're all pro-heroes. The reader is like an undercover agent-type hero. (Not like an underground hero, i mean full james bond stuff) But they went to UA with the rest of the class 1a. Maybe they're all at a school reunion & the reader is technically doing cover work in plain sight. An assassin is trying to kill/miam one of the top 10 heroes. Go from there. (Also, thx for telling me abt ur rq💛🥺)

UA’s year of 2048’s 10-year Reunion had people flying in from all over. Iida had to cut his meeting short and fly overseas, Jirou had to miss a concert that she had with her fans, totally forgetting and planning last-minute per usual, and of course, you had forgotten about it until your boss brought something up about it. At first, you had been sad that you would not be able to go and see all of your friends from years ago due to the crazy amount of work that stacked up on your desk, mountain beyond mountains of emails and files, begging you to take their case.

But luckily, going to the Reunion was a case itself, and a very important one. Eraserhead, one of the underground, older heroes, had been beginning to be threatened by an organization of hero-haters on social media. At first, it had all been just petty hate and bickering, until the threats began to pour in from this random account. Police had identified the IP address, only to find nothing beyond that. That’s when Eraserhead began getting “gifts” left outside his door, and notes too. Threatening notes, telling him to enjoy his last days before he was killed by the sender. Your company, the Federal Hero Unit Agency, had begged him not to attend the reunion and stay in his apartment with his husband Present Mic until the situation could be dealt with. But, he had refused to miss a night with his favorite past class. 

That’s when you had been contacted by your Boss personally, and assigned the case of protecting him through out the night, keeping a watch on him while not giving away your identity as an agent and protector. That’s right, you were an FBI agent that dealed with Hero Matters, including but not limited to stalkers, missing heroes, murdered heroes, and keeping track of where, when, and how the heroes were doing mentally. A hero in a bad mental state was a disaster waiting to happen. You had chosen the job, not only because the company was begging you, but you needed to help keep the heroes of the town safe. The heroes would protect the city, and you would protect them. This also gave you reason to keep a close watch on all your past classmates and how they were doing. In a world like your own, you wanted to be the first to know when they got hurt so you could go see them. They didn’t know how but you always knew when and how they were doing.

Checking yourself out in the mirror, you were fairly impressed by the look of the dress you had gotten last minute. A black dress that showed your shoes nicely, fairly simple but also cute. Looked well with your skin tone. “Ready gorgeous?” Your girlfriend Momo walked through the door, glancing you up and down and smiling. You turned to look at her, in her best color of red of course. He wore a low cut dress of course to your dismay that only promised that you two would have fun tonight if she wanted it. “Where’s Jiri?” You asked, surprised when she smiled lightly of getting to see the third to your Three Muscuteers. Your other girlfriend, Jirou, had been on tour of her concert. You would have happily joined her if it hadn’t required taking over a month off of work, which was not allowed. Still, you hadn’t physically seen her in such a long time, and FaceTime had got boring past a week of doing it.

At the same time, you and Momo had more time to yourself, able to fully spend hours and hours making love without Jirou wanting to run off and watch a movie or sing karaoke with her ADHD self. You did miss her though, and would be so happy to see her in just an hour at the school. “I’m so glad your work let you do this. I was not showing up to that party without someone to hold onto, I’m not that independent.” She giggled before turning to look at you both in the mirror. “Aww, we look cute. Hope Jiri didn’t just wear jeans and a shirt like she said she would. I think that was just a joke, but again, would not be surprised.” Momo exclaimed as you two made it to the door of the two bedroom condo on the top floor of the penthouse you rented. The roof allowed you ways to leave your house using your quirk and not be tracked by cameras. The more discreet, the better for your career anyways.

Out the grand doors of the lobby and into the limo Momo had arranged, you two waited eagerly to pull up to the school. UA, the place where everything had changed. You had moved in with Momo as roommates the first year, and from then had began getting romantic. It was only after you lost your virginities that you fully and verbally established a relationship with one another. Momo had promised to keep herself “pure”, but the way you kissed her lips was nothing but like an angel to her, so she couldn’t help herself. For a while, Jirou had only been a close friend for the both of you. Sure, Jirou kissed you but it was only “friendly”. You sent her your nudes, but only to get some feedback on how good you looked. Jirou would try on your clothes and change in your room, but it was only because you were both girls and it was no big deal. Jirou only came along into the relationship after getting drunk at a party and you all learning new ways for three people to touch at once. 

Boy, were you excited to see her. Finally, the limo pulled up to the school, lots of camera flashing following your arrival. Used to it by now, you held your hand up to your face to block the light, pulled your arm over Momo’s shoulders, and pulled her along with you up the stairs and into the building, ignoring all the yelling and questions. Immediately as you entered, a wave of nostalgia entered you as you were remembered of the many days you guys would sit on the couch, eat, and play ping pong, having the news play in the background of heroes and their work or fights. It only fit the aesthetic of what you were all training to be. Some would say you were each other's competition, but you all were friends. There was no doubt about the undying platonic love you all shared. Momo must have felt it too as she squealed and giggled, squeezing your hand and jumping up and down. 

“I have to go to the bathroom. Go ahead of me, alright? I’ll be there in a minute.” You smiled, gave her a wink, and watched her way safely in the room. After having so many villains want you dead, there was no problem being extra careful with the ones you loved, especially after knowing someone dangerous was possibly already in the building. You walked into the ladies room, seeing two girls already there. A woman with a black pixie cut and black dress, sort of similar to your own, stood at the mirror, fixing her makeup. The other had long, bright red hair and dark skin. You nodded to them, smiling as you walked into the stall.

Being as silent as you were trained, you slid out the earpiece and clipped it onto your ear, adjusting the mic to just under your ear, and the sound projector into your ear. You made some noise, then stepped out, nodded to the ladies again, and left. Quickly walking, eager to start your mission, see your girlfriends, and your friends. As you walked into the room, the party seemed to buzz extra loud as everyone saw you. Denki practically tackled you, not changing but from the peach fuzz on his chin and tattoo below his eye. You had seen Denki multiple times in public and when you scheduled to meet up, but this time just seemed special. “My girl! What’s up?! You look- so good!” He exclaimed, his eyes lingering on your figure. “Watch it tiger, this one is taken.” You looked behind him to see Mina, much taller, and with a more alt look to her now. “Yes! You’re dating Momo and Jirou right? They published you in Hero Weekly multiple times. You represent more than you can imagine Y/n!” Deku exclaimed. You smiled and winked at him, seeing that he hadn’t changed but from his hair style, and the fact that Todoroki swung his arm around him. “Good to… see you.” Todoroki mumbled slowly. You knew he meant well, but yet he hadn’t changed as well, personality included. “There she is!!” She turned to see Kirishima and Sero, running up to you full-speed. “Sero! Kiri!” You practically screamed, jumping into the arms of your awaiting guy friends. “God, I’ve missed you!!” You exclaimed, smiling ear to ear. 

“We saw you two days ago, chill dude.” Sero giggled, before separating. “Y/n. Kirishima. Sero. Please refrain from yelling inside.” You all looked behind you to see Aizawa, holding a glass of wine and wearing a suit. He hadn’t aged a day, and yet, the eyebags were just a little deeper. “Sorry Mr. Aizawa.” You grinned, giving him your best apologizing smile. Things haven't changed that much over 10 years. “Although your looks have altered, your personalities haven’t changed. Good.” Your past teacher smiled warmly, for possibly the first time, and walked away. You were about to begin talking to your friends again when you saw Shinso standing behind Aizawa, staring at you with surprise in his eyes. 

Slowly and nervously, he walked up to you. “Y/n…” He looked down at your body and back up you. You couldn’t help but get creeped out, knowing that you and Shinso had once been together, but Jirou and Momo had come into your life. You knew it wasn’t fair to lie to him, so you had broken up with poor Shinso and gotten together with your now girlfriends Jirou and Momo, ignoring the constant calls and desperate messages for months. “Hey Shin. How’s it going?” You asked, smiling and acting as nothing had happened. You two could still be friends after two years, right? You were both over each other and with someone else.

“Good. I’ve been working under Aizawa for a year now, I’m going to become a teacher like him.” He grinned calmly as you smiled proudly at him. “That’s so good! I… I’m really proud of you. Last time, you told me you wanted nothing to do with heroes. And now you want to teach the next generation. I’m so happy!” You exclaimed. Shinso was about to speak, before you felt someone hug you from behind quickly. “Y/n!!” You turned around to see your beautiful girlfriends looking at you, Jirou wrapped around you and Momo smiling off on the side. “My god! I missed you so much!” Jirou reached up and kissed you slowly before returning to hug you. “I missed you too.” You looked down at her outfit and rolled your eyes. She was just wearing a black ruffled top and jeans, and not the dress Momo had bought her. She still looked great though, so you choose not to complain.

After many hours of talking among your former classmates, exchanging contact, and talking about your job, you constantly kept on edge, keeping your eye on Aizawa as he walked around, saying hello to every single student and other teacher, Mic staying beside his side for the most part, and Shinso staying near him for some of it. Watching Shinso, you saw him and how he avoided all his classmates. He didn’t make eye contact with the classmates, and refused to talk to anyone really. He had not changed personalities anyway over the past ten years, and you almost felt sorry for him. At least he had gotten a new girlfriend. You couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing mentally. He looked absolutely ripped, but his undereye bags were terrible and his hair was just as messy since high school.

Finally, the main part started, and you began to get prepared. Holding hands with Jirou to your left, and Momo to your right, you felt a sense of blending in with the audience. You made sure to observe the people around you, and keep your thoughts to yourself as you evaluated each and every person. Finally, your main subject, Eraserhead, stepped into the main room. You left your girlfriends and stepped next to Eraserhead, smiling. “May I? Looks like you’re lonely.” You smiled, seeing that Mic was currently busy, operating the lights and speakers as he pleased. He refused to let anyone else do it but him. “Don’t play me Y/n. I know your job, and I know why you’re here.” Your older teacher looked away from you, before you nudged him playfully. “So, is that a no? Or an absolutely yes?” You smiled playfully as he looked back at you and grinned. “You haven’t changed a bit. Good.” He offered you his arm and you grabbed it, making your way to the seats offered for you. Your boss has made sure you had a seat right next to Aizawa. 

Over the next half hour, speeches were made, food was served, and laughs were shared. It was a joyful time, but you couldn’t help but look for Aizawa. He was all over the place, as if he was trying to get away from you. Finally, people began dancing. Getting nervous, you quickly got up and walked towards the teacher. 

“May I have this dance?” You grinned cheekily at him as he turned to you, unamused by your humor. “How about you leave me alone? I don’t need my former student protecting me. It’s my job as a hero to protect you.” He explained, but you just shook your head, stepping closer. “No way Sir. It is my job to protect you, and only you quite literally.” You winked at him, joking again. Finally, you turned your head and gave him your puppy-dog eyes. “How about that dance?” He nodded and grabbed your, smiling as you both began to make your way to the dance floor.

He told you about his recent retirement, and how he and Mic had been spending their recent times in their secret vacation home down South in the islands. You then began telling him about how you had gotten into a relationship with two of your fellow students, and he told you how happy he was for you all. “You girls were always close. I’m so happy, you deserve as many lovers as you desire.” He commented, making you suddenly so happy. “Mic dated two people once in elementary school. He was… such the player.” You both laughed, before Aizawa looked down at his phone. “Speak of the devil.” You noticed that Aizawa had gotten a text from Mic. “Excuse me for a minute.” Aizawa went to walk away towards the hallway, before looking back at you, seeing your worry. “I’ll be fine. Mic is waiting for me on the balcony.”

You nodded, going to sit down when you suddenly saw Mic looking around. “Has anyone seen my phone?” He yelled out, walking around. It took you a minute to realize it, but you quickly jumped up and looked at him. “Where’s Aizawa?!” You asked him loudly, causing some people to look at you strangely. “I… I don’t know, wasn’t he just with you?” Mic asked, looking at you strangely with confusion in his expression. “Oh god. Oh god!” You ran to the door that Aizawa had walked out, before pulling and pushing on it. It was stuck. Looking around, and then at the ceiling, you began to see a light green, almost neon, mist coming out of the sprinklers. “Everyone cover your mouths!” You screamed, bringing your shirt up to your mouth as the mist began to get thicker in the air. People began coughing, and everyone began freaking out. “Y/n?! Y/n!” You looked over to see Jirou and Momo running towards you. Jirou began to have trouble breathing, coughing and such since her shirt was very thin and not useful as a mask. 

“Momo, make an explosion and get everyone out. I’ll need all the back up I can get. Also, tell everyone to get low. This gas rises high and won’t settle on the ground.” You commanded your girlfriend, before Jirou turned to you. “What about you?” She asked, fear and panic in her eyes. “I’m going to go save our teacher.” You smiled, kissed her cheek, and ran off. Using your quirk, you were able to walk through the walls and see that the door has been blocked off by dozens of pieces of heavy furniture, too heavy for you. Finally, you were able to breathe. “Aizawa?!” You screamed, following the sound of slight mumbling through the dozens and dozens of hallways. 

Suddenly, you heard laughing, and turned around, knowing that the villain was right around the corner. You recognized that laugh… “Shinny?” You called out, hearing the laughing stop suddenly. He knew you were there. And you knew he was there. And he knew you knew he was there.

“Shinny? What are you doing?” You asked, eyes wide. With the way you were pretending, you made sure to look sad and betrayed. “Oh Y/n… I’m sorry.” He whispered at you. Looking out, you saw that they were on the balcony, Aizawa about to jump five stories off, but he wasn’t his normal self. Shinso had Aizawa under his control. “Shinso, please don’t do this.” You mumbled, walking towards him. You had to use Shinso’s love for you against him, something you thought you’d never do. “Oh Y/n, I have to. I have to make a name for myself as a villain, and taking out a big-time hero like this will jump-start my career.” He tried to explain, but you just shook his head. “Now, it’s time. Aizawa-” You interrupted Shinso, keeping him from instructing Aizawa to jump. “You knew I’d get out of there. You know my quirk Shinso. You knew I’d get out. Why?” You asked as you kept walking towards him. “I… I want you to join me Y/n. There’s a little bit of me that still wants to become a villain, but I want to do it with you. Please. Join me.” He reached his hand out towards you, and you instantly grabbed it. 

Walking towards him, you kissed him, and felt his hands grab onto your body. You could tell he wanted this, and you regretted what you would have to do next. You overpowered him, using every ounce of strength, and pushed him to the ground. “Hitoshi Shinso, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you in the name of law.” You dragged handcuffs out of your pockets and whipped them around his hands, sitting on top of him as you did so. Before he could speak, you got out a piece of tape and stuck it to his mouth. As Shinso panicked, he lost control, and Aizawa quickly fell back onto the balcony, now fully awake and safe. 

“Y/n… I don’t know what happened, he-” You patted his head, smiling softly at the adult man on the ground who was now shaken up and scared. “It’s fine now Aizawa, he’s not going to hurt a fly again. Right Shinny?” You slapped Shinso against the face very softly and smiled, knowing he was hating every second of this. “T-Thank you. I’m sorry about earlier, you did great, I-” You shushed Aizawa, feeling happy about your mission becoming a success. “Just doing my job. You may even call me your hero.” 

The other students and faculty met up with you, all of them acquiring gas masks made by Momo herself, which she was very proud of. Mic was quick to hug Aizawa, and your girls were quick to hug you. They had been scared, not knowing if you were okay or not while they all struggled to get the door open. Finally, Momo had looked up how to make dynamite, and had blown up the doorway and the surrounding halls. Looking out onto everyone, you began to see everyone’s true nature again. Deku had been crying, Shinso had been keeping Izuku sane, Bakugo had been angry at you for going out on your own, and Kirishima was boasting about how manly you were to anyone who would listen. You only stopped for a second before looking down at the street to see Shinso being taken away in handcuffs. “Well, I’ve got to go. Duty calls.” You smiled at your girls, kissing them and beginning to walk away, hearing hoots, hollers, and farewells at your back.

You didn’t need to say goodbye, because it was not. Aizawa and Mic would send flowers to your office, Denki would want to play video games and catch up as if you were still teenagers, Bakugo and Kirishima would invite the Bakusquad over to grill out, you would see your girlfriends at home that night, Deku and Todoroki would want to have a couples getaway, Mina, Asui and Ochako would want to have a Girls Night out, and Iida… Well you saw Iida on missions a lot anyways, and you two were already heavily close. You were close with the entire class, and you were happy to see that even over 10 years, nothing had really changed about life.

Down at the street, you waved to your fellow cops before getting in the front seat next to your partner, and looking at the back mirror towards Shinso. “So… you’re a cop now?” He asked, watching you nod at his question. “Glad one of us is doing something with their life. Good for you.” He remarked as you looked out the window. In the side mirror, you could see Shinso begin to smile. He really was happy for you, and you knew that when he got out of jail, you’d be there for him to, hopefully to help him find his purpose in life too. Maybe he would find his own version of Momo and Jirou.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 10

I’m free as a bird when I’m flying in your cage: Nov/Dec 2017  

Word count: 3k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Please for the love of god, if you like the story just hit the reblog button. I really don’t know how to say it nicely but it’s really starting to bother me and maybe that makes me a dick but so be it.

>Instagram posts

Thankfully, after a day and a half of vocal rest, Harry was ready to go for the Manchester show and he very much dialled his performance up to 11 for his hometown crowd. Just as she had told Grimmy, Aurora stayed off social media in the days following the interview, but she heard from others that a small section of the fandom was absolutely furious with her and the social media manager that Mark had hired years ago to clear out her comment sections was working overtime to keep some of the nastier shit from her feeds. As much as Aurora herself was able to avoid it all together, she knew that a lot of her fans would be reading the comments and she wanted to keep it safe for them. Harry’s team was also working to keep his own accounts clear as well, and while they couldn’t hide from what was being said about them or Louis and Elanor, they could try to filter out the worst of it. This was the one part of celebrity that they all agreed was the worst. It was the unfortunate consequence of having such passionate fans. Ella had no such inclination to avoid the comment sections and was spending her free time picking fights with Larries and attempting to set them straight on the reality of Harry and Louis’ relationship as nothing more than brotherly love. Aurora tried to urge her to let it go, but unfortunately her best friend was feisty and easy to anger which was not a good combination with how overprotective she was about her loved ones. By the time they stepped out onto the Manchester stage, both Rori and Harry were happy to put aside the drama and focus on the music.  Things started to cool down over the following week which took them up to Glasgow and then on to Stockholm, Berlin, Amsterdam, and Milan. By the time they returned to London on the 11th, the music video for Kiwi had been live for 3 days and the fans had thankfully moved on from Aurora’s interview in exchange for raving about the new video.  

They spent the first few days relaxing at home before Rori headed to North London to meet up with Liam at the recording studio he liked to use to work on the song he had mentioned at Niall’s launch party. Aurora had spent the last few weeks listening to the demo on repeat while pouring over the sheet music Liam had emailed her. She was obsessed with the song and the two had been messaging back and forth constantly, discussing the arrangement and which parts each of them would take. Stepping back into a recording studio, even one she’d never visited before, felt like coming home after weeks on the road and her face lit up immediately as soon as she caught sight of Liam,  wrapping her arms around him in a rib crushing hug.

“Ready to jump straight in?” he asked after letting her go.

“Absolutely,” she replied excitedly before following him as he introduced her to the producer and technicians that they would be working with for the following few days.

With a full week before Harry and Rori were due to  fly to Shanghai, neither she nor Liam were on a tight schedule to finish the song. This meant that the environment in the studio was very chilled and there were many tangents and breaks taken while they worked.

“How attached are you and Lou to the lyrics?” Rori asked on their second day in the studio.

“Of course, you want to change something,” Liam laughed in a response. “Wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Rori replied with a laugh of her own. “I am who I am.”

“I know,” Liam agreed. “So, show me what you’re thinking.”

“I’ve been tossing around the pre-chorus and I was wondering if instead of what you lads have there, instead we go with this.”

I'm free as a bird When I'm flying in your cage I'm diving in deep And I'm riding with no brakes And I'm bleeding in love You're swimming in my veins You got me now

“Well fuck,” Liam replied. “Think I need to stop writing with Louis and start writing with you more often.”

“You like it?”

“Rors, I love it,” he said. “It’s way better than what we came up with. Let’s get back in the booth and record it.”

They ended up spending four days finishing the song which left Aurora with a few remaining days to catch up with Ella and also relax at home with her husband before they were thrown back into work.

xXx

The day before they were set to fly to China, Aurora headed over to Ella’s flat in Wimbledon. “I brought cake,” she yelled as she let herself into the flat with the spare key Ella had given her when Rori first moved back to London.

“Fuck yes!” Ella cheered in response, her voice carrying down the hall from the kitchen. “I’m just making us tea,” she continued as Rori made her way inside. “Get yourself comfy on the sofa and I’ll meet you in there, babe.”

Rori made herself at home in the living room, Ella’s elderly tabby cat Elliot, immediately padding over to make himself comfortable in her lap.

“You were recording with Liam this week yeah?” Ella asked as she joined Rori on the sofa, placing mugs of tea in front of them. “How was it?”

“God, it was so much fun El,” Rori sighed. “I didn’t realise how much I missed being in the studio. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love touring and I’m having an incredible time on the road, but it felt so good to be back recording again and it just has me itching to write again.”

“You should make sure to do more of it over the Christmas break then,” Ella pointed out. “Speaking of which are you going to be in New York or are you coming home for winter?”

“We’re planning a bit of both. Christmas and my birthday in New York with my dads and then we’ll come back here for February before the tour kicks off again in March. I think Gemma and Anne are going to join us for Christmas too and then when we get back Liam and I have made plans to have a writing session together. ”

“Sounds like a good plan,” Ella nodded before taking a sip of her tea. “Selfishly I’m glad you’ll be spending a decent chunk of time here. I miss you.”

“Urggh,” Rori groaned. “I miss you too. Was thinking of maybe doing something for Harry’s birthday and getting you, Lou, Liam, and Niall over to our flat for a game’s night or something. I feel like Harry could use something a little more lowkey this year after the insanity of tour.”

“Don’t feel like you need to invite me,” Ella replied awkwardly. “I mean, if you’re inviting the band over, I’m not really part of that group.”

“Oh bullshit,” Rori laughed. “They boys love you just like I do. You all get along great whenever we were all together for wedding stuff or the album launch. Why on earth would you feel like I shouldn’t invite you too?”

“Rori,” Ella sighed. “While yes, I have gotten along with yours and Harry’s friends in the past, that doesn’t mean that I run in the same circles as they do. They’re celebrities, you are a celebrity and I just think that sometimes you forget that I���m just your old friend from school. It’s two separate worlds that you live in.”

Aurora rolled her eyes in response, taking a sip of her tea while she compiled her rebuttal. “That’s such a load of shit El. They are mine and Harry’s friends and so are you. When we are away from the paparazzi, they are no different to you and me. I get that we grew up with their pictures on our bedroom walls but once you put that aside they’re just a bunch of really great guys that I think could become your close friends too if you let them in and stop freaking out around them.”

“Ok fine,” Ella agreed after a moment of silent staring between the two women. “I’ll try to get over myself and give them a chance next time we’re all in the same room. Can we change the subject now?”

“That’s all I’m asking for and absolutely we can change the subject. How’s things with Tim? Feel like we haven’t talked about him in a while.” Ella made a face and Aurora felt her heart break for her best friend. “When?” she asked softly. “What happened, love?”

“He broke it off a few weeks ago,” Ella explained. “Said he didn’t feel a spark or something.”

“I’m sorry babe, things seemed to be going so well when I left for the tour.”

“They were. At least I thought they were. We barely made it past 3 months before he gave up.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were half a world away having the best time,” Ella replied. “If I’d told you then you would have just felt guilty for not being here.”

“And now instead I feel guilty for not even being able to be a sympathetic ear since I couldn’t provide a shoulder. How are you now?”

“I’ll be ok. I’ve been a bit down in the dumps, but I think it’s for the best. He made some good points about me not really knowing what I wanted and he’s right. I think I’m gonna swear off dating until I really figure out who I am and what I’m looking for.”

“Well if you ever want help figuring out who you are, I think I know you pretty well by now.”

“I might take you up on that offer,” Ella said with a small smile before changing topic. “Now enough moping, you said you brought cake with you? You are never going to believe the scandal that’s broken out amongst some of the girls in my Colonial History class.”

xXx

Occasionally something would happen in Aurora’s life that would give her pause and remind her how incredibly ludicrous her life had become. Standing behind her keyboard in the middle of a Victoria Secrets show in Shanghai while her husband sang and danced his heart out in front of her while literally supermodels strutted past them was one of those moments.

It was hard for her to believe that only 2 days ago she was sitting on her best friend’s sofa eating a chocolate cake from Sainsbury’s and discussing the latest high school drama playing out in Ella’s classroom. She found herself thinking about how her mother would react if she somehow had a way to travel back in time seven years and tell her about this moment and all the other life changing moments that had occurred since they parted. It was while her thoughts were caught on her mother that Harry turned, catching her eye, a mile-wide smile lighting up his face as he winked at her, causing her own smile to grow in response. No matter how strange her life had become and how much everything had changed since she was an average teenager living above a small bar, she knew that she wouldn’t change a single thing that had happened if it meant ending up here with Harry smiling at her like that.

xXx

Following the Victoria Secrets show, the band arrived in Singapore early and spent a few days exploring before their show there after which the flew on to Australia, a country that Harry had toured many times over the years with One Direction, but Aurora had never managed to visit herself. They had a week in the land Down Under, with shows in both Sydney and Melbourne and Aurora made it her mission to see as much as she could of the 2 state capitals, often dragging Harry or other members of the band along on her adventures. Given that it was the last week of November everywhere was getting into the Christmas spirit, however since it was the southern hemisphere the weather was scorching hot and the group found the combination highly entertaining, if somewhat baffling.

While in Sydney they took in the iconic sights such as Bondi beach, the Opera House, and the Harbour Bridge, as well as a day trip out to explore the Blue Mountains. In Melbourne they visited the Eureka Tower with it’s Skydeck that offered an amazing view of the city spread out beneath them. They also spent some time at the Melbourne Zoo and National Gallery of Victoria, then the day after their show at the Forum, they were taken on a drive out of the city and down along the coastal Great Ocean Road.

The tour stop in Auckland was similarly packed out with touristy opportunities where Aurora’s highlight was the art gallery Toi o Tāmaki. While the laid back vibes in both Australia and New Zealand captured Aurora’s attention, it was the week they spent in Tokyo that held Harry’s, so much so that while everyone else headed home the day after the last show, the young couple made a last minute change to their travel plans and extended their stay by an additional week to explore the city more.

Once again, Tokyo was somewhere that Harry had visited many times with the band while Aurora had never been, and he enjoyed to opportunity to show her his favourite parts. Something Aurora noticed almost immediately about Tokyo was that unlike in the US or the UK, people either didn’t recognize them when they were out and about or they did but respected their privacy and left them alone. She pointed this out to Harry on their second day wandering the city streets and he smiled back at her, agreeing that it was something he’d also noticed in a previous visit and had definitely played a role in him falling in love with the city.

They spent their days wandering the streets, ducking into quirky shops that caught their eye and just revelling in the normalcy of being together in public. As they walked, they both realized that they had never had this; a chance to be like everyone else crowding the sidewalks around them. Save for stolen moments in the early days of their relationship like their first date in Hampstead Heath or when they were able to sneak into galleries on quiet days, they’d never really been able to be themselves within a crowd. They’d always needed to wrap a scarf that little bit higher around their chins or wear a hat a little lower on their heads or glasses a little bit larger. To walk hand in hand like any other couple was freeing in a way that Rori hadn’t realized she’d been missing, and she soaked up every moment of their time in Tokyo. If only for a week she felt like she was living the life she would have had if her mother hadn’t died. If she had continued living as a normal girl from Wimbledon instead of being thrust into the spotlight, free to live her life without the scrutiny of the press and the public. Of course, it wasn’t lost on her that the man holding her hand wouldn’t be Harry in this parallel universe and for that she would happily trade in her freedom. She could accept that the price she paid to be married to Harry and be Steve and Tony’s daughter was that she would never really be allowed to have this normality, so she simply tried to make the most of their time before they flew on to New York for Christmas. They never spoke about any of this during their little vacation away from their lives but even without voicing her thoughts, Rori was certain that Harry was thinking the same thing and would willingly make the same sacrifices for the life they had built together.

xXx

Both Aurora and Harry were exhausted by the time they reached New York and were grateful to find Happy waiting for them as soon as they exited the arrivals terminal at JFK. He offered a quick hug to Rori before collecting their bags from them and leading them to the town car waiting for them. She leant against Harry in the back seat as they made the hour long drive into Manhattan. Her blinks began to lengthen as the airport shrank in the rear-view mirror and she was fast asleep before they reached Queens. Harry had to gently coax her awake once they finally reached the tower and she slowly made her way out of the car and into the elevator up to the penthouse. Tony and Steve were waiting up for their arrival and excitedly pulled their daughter into tight hugs the moment she stepped out of the elevator. It was Steve that noticed the way both Rori and Harry’s eyelids seem to droop and their gazes glazed over while Tony asked them a dozen questions about their recent adventures, and Rori was grateful when her Pops shooed them both off to bed with promises that they could catch up properly over a homecooked breakfast the next morning. They were barely conscious by the time they stripped out of their clothes and crawled into bed, however Aurora remained awake just long enough the think about how good it felt to be home.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3                               

[http-skzhyuns]

count down | hwang hyunjin

warnings: mild cursing

genre: angst

member: skz hwang hyunjin

words: 2k+

a/n: 

i do accept requests and asks, if you have one, please send them. thank you! :) also, this one is a reposted. i had to make some minor edits and my app, well, let’s just it’s not working well lately. 

summary: if there’s a way to fix it, you’d do it in a heartbeat. but, you’ve always known that it’ll be like this, you just hoped it wouldn’t hurt because you expected it.

you knew it was bound to fall apart at some point. your friends always considered you as a pessimist, personally, you’d like to convince yourself that you are a realist. but, this one, you knew. you just knew it in your heart that it’s bound to end at some point, and you knew it would hurt like hell.

it’s been a few weeks since you last saw hyunjin. both of you were busy doing your own thing. your boss did nothing but make your work space miserable recently. everybody was on edge, you can already feel the tension as soon as you walk into the office. hyunjin, on the other hand, has been busy travelling to different countries, he has been teaching countless dance classes all over the world.

after another tiring day at work, you trudged into your apartment feeling heavy with fatigue. these days, you barely get enough sleep. sometimes, you end up taking your work to your home just to finish it, decreasing your hours of sleep. but, the pay is good, so you try to stick by it and besides, this heavy workload are only seasonal. there are seasons when you don’t have to struggle as much as you do this time. it’s only because the year is about to end that makes the work pile up like a mountain in your desk.

you threw yourself on your bed, fully-clothed, too tired to even change at this point. you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to relax your muscles and your mind from the long day you just had. however, you quickly opened your eyes in panic, sat and began digging through your purse for your phone. looking at the clock, you knew you’re late for the ‘video call date’ you have with your boyfriend.

“fuck, why did i forget? no” you muttered to yourself, as you open your phone.

but, apparently, there are no missed video calls. hyunjin haven’t called. you eyed the time, you’re only a few minutes late.

“did he forget? again?” you asked yourself.

after pondering for a while, you decided to call him. the phone rang for a while before he finally answered, “hi” he answered in a raspy voice.

hyunjin was asleep and woke up when you called. seeing him through your phone screen, you marveled at his beauty as his eyes squints from the sunlight, his hair a mess.

“hi,” you replied, smiling slightly at the image of him looking too adorable being half-asleep. the two of you has been dating for about five years now, and yet you still get struck by his beauty every single time.

“i’m sorry for waking you up”

“no, it’s okay” he answered, noncommittally. you shrugged it off, thinking it’s because he just woke up. you can hear a rustle on his end as he sat up on his bed.

“how are you doing?” you asked him, genuinely intrigued, as it has been awhile since you talked to him.

“nothing much, i have a few classes today tho, so i’ll be off in a while,” you have yet to see him smile at you.

“oh, i se-”

he cut you off, “hey, uh, listen, i have to go now. i have to get ready for the class.”

you sighed in disappointment, “oh, okay then. have a great day, and take care of yourself, alright? don’t forget to eat meals and drink water. i love you” you smiled at him and finally, you see him smile at you through the screen, it was small, but that was enough for you.

“yeah, i will, love you too.” he replied before ending the call.

putting your phone down, you sighed.

you can’t remember when it all started falling apart. but, a few weeks ago, your time with hyunjin has grown less and less. maybe it’s his job, but you knew deep down that even before he started touring for classes, he was able to keep in tabs with you. these days, you can’t even have a proper conversation how your lives and days went.

you met hyunjin when the both of you are in your third year of college. he was a dance major while you’re on creative writing. you only had one class together but that one class for the whole semester was enough to hit it off. the both of you were an odd pair, him always dressed up so stylishly while you prefer wearing your hoodies to the campus. however, you’re humor and character clicked and you found it easy to get along with him. you became friends with him, and over the summer, he asked you to be his girlfriend.

it was a rough start, you had no idea how relationship worked. your past relationship was either too short or too immature to be even considered as one.  you warned hyunjin about it. however, he was insistent and assured you that it doesn’t matter.

“we’ll figure it out together,” he said.

hyunjin is the sweetest boyfriend, he would visit you at your dorms after his practices and you would go to his practice rooms to bring him food and watch him practice. he knew you hated extravagant dates so the both of you opted for spontaneous walk in the nearby parks, a long drive over the long weekend, and eating out on a fast food chain. your dates are simple, but it was enough for the both of you.

after the graduation, you struggled for a while, trying to find a job, an apartment to live, trying to pay the bills. it’s physically, mentally and emotionally taxing but hyunjin was there to help you through it. on nights that you can’t sleep, he would be there to cuddle you as he runs his fingers to your hair to help you calm down. when he was offered to tour in different countries, he presented every single excuse he had so he can stay beside you, but you knew this is part of his dream, and you knew down, that he wanted to do it. that night, the both of you ended up cuddled on the bed with his head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his silky hair. you reassured him that it’ll be alright. after everything, you knew the both of you will be alright. after all, you love each other, don’t you?

suddenly, you weren’t so sure anymore.

the next few months with hyunjin went back and forth, as he traveled around for his job. you established the ‘video call dates’, it felt like nothing has changed except you can’t physically feel his hugs or his kisses. but, his eyes still shined and his lips still curl into the biggest smile whenever the call connected and he can finally see your face after a tiring day.  

however, towards the end of year, you both grew cold with each other. the calls grew less frequent, and while you wish you could fix it, you’re not sure how… or if it’s even something that you could fix. suddenly, his eyes doesn’t hold the same glint as it used to and you tried to pretend that it’s just the tiredness.

weeks following that shift and the relationship felt strained. communication became stilted. sometimes, your schedules wouldn’t add up, and even though the both of you tried to set up these kind of dates — something that can be done through the screen, just to see each other even if you’re from different sides of the world, you felt how the distance affected the relationship. it’s the truth that’s been right there, all along, waiting for the both of you to acknowledge.

you love hyunjin, you adored that boy more than you ever lent on. you adored how his eyes would crinkle whenever he smiles or laugh, or how he would clap his hands while doing so. he is a dork and you love him for it. you love how passionate he is at dancing, at his insistence to be better, to learn more. he’s hardworking and he’s incredible sensitive to the people around him. he would know when you’re in a bad place, he would sense whenever you needed your space or when you need him to just wrap his arms around so you’ll know he’s there whenever you need him.

but, you knew deep down that this is bound to end at some point. somehow, you knew it in your gut that the bubble you two are in is bound to fall apart someday.

unfortunately for you, i guess that day is now.

it’s the new year’s eve, hyunjin’s still overseas. but, you’re on the same timezone so the both of you decided to basically celebrate the new year with each other via video call.

you’re lying if you tell yourself that this whole thing doesn’t hurt, because it does. it tears you apart knowing that the person you planned to spend your whole life with, is slowly falling out of love with you. but, it is what is. you can’t force him to stay in love with you.

looking down at your phone, you know you have at least 10 minutes before the count down. you pulled up hyunjin’s contacts, and pressing on the video call button. he answered quickly and it left you fumbling for composure.

“hey,” he breathed. he’s dressed up for a party. he’s probably at one of his colleague’s party, you thought.

“hi, you look great,” you smiled at him.

he chuckles, “well, you look great too. you’re at jisung’s party?”

you nodded through your phone, “i am, it’s new year in a while.”

an awkward silence filled the air, “it is… how are you?” he asked softly.

at this point, you’re tearing up, knowing this is how it’ll end. your heart clenched for what’s about to come.

“jinnie, i want your honest answer, alright?” as tears begin filling your eyes, you tried to smile at him to assure that everything’s alright.

a loud chatter can be heard behind, he gulped in confusion and the building tension that he can feel through his phone, “sure, what is it?”

“do you still love me?”

hyunjin felt like the wind was knocked off his lungs, he suspected that you can feel how the relationship is slowly falling apart. but, he didn’t expect you to ask him so straightforwardly, “i-i,” he stuttered.

giving up, you can see how his shoulders fall, “i did. i still do…” his tongue swiped over his lips, his eyes darting everywhere but your face.

still, you continued to smile, “but, it’s different now, right?”

he sighed, his eyes brimming with tears, his heart clenches as he watch you keep yourself together through the screen. your beautiful smile, your lips slightly quivering, your teary eyes, he hated himself for putting you in this situation. you are a lovely girl, you were always considerate of his time and priorities. you were very understanding whenever he can’t be there due to practices or even when he got a job to be a choreographer and teacher.you would bring him food whenever he gets too passionate at his craft and ended up overworking himself.

eventually, he nodded before looking down, he breathed deeply before looking up and straight into your eyes, his dark orbs reflecting the pain in them, “i love you. you are a lovely person, y/n. you truly are. i don’t know when it started to change, but i want you to know that you are the loveliest girl i have ever met and i’ll never, ever, regret meeting you,” he said softly but with conviction, hoping that his words get through you, because it’s the truth.

you bit your lip, trying to keep your sobs in.

“there are no other people involved, i want you to know that. it’s just that… things started to change,” he continued.

a sob escaped from your throat and suddenly tears began falling and you looked down so he can’t see it, “i know… we did change. i think it’s us that changed.”

looking at tears falling down your cheeks, hyunjin can’t help but to cry too. the both of you tried to reign your emotions just to make this whole situation easier for each other, but the heart break is too much. it feels like it’s ripping you apart.

in the background the countdown has begun,

10

9

8

“i’m sorry,” he sobbed.

7

“you don’t have to be,” you smiled through your own tears.

6

5

“i love you, hyunjin. you are the best. you are a great boyfriend and you’re an ever greater person, you’re lovely, in your own way.”

4

silence filled the both of your ends, you just stared at each other through the screen, drinking in each other as if it’ll be the last time you’ll see the other person.

3

he smiled at you.

2

you smiled back at him and closed your eyes, breathing in deeply.

1

the fireworks started to paint the sky in wonderful colors. the noise filling the air. the loud cheers can be heard, everyone screamed their greetings, kissing their significant others, their wishes for a good year.

and, here you are, breaking up with your boyfriend.

“happy new year, hyunjin. i wish you all the best in life, take care of yourself. have a good night. i love you. thank you for those wonderful years i spent with you, here’s to the years we’ll spend without each other in our lives,”

his heart stopped beating as you uttered those words, this it then, he thought.

sending a gentle smile at you, he replied, “happy new year, y/n. i hope you have a lovely year. take care of yourself too. and, i love you. cheers and goodbye. goodnight, y/n,” his voice fading into a soft whisper towards the end of his reply. 

you nodded at him and stared at each other for a few seconds before pressing the end call button.

as the rest of the world cheered for the new year, two hearts weep over a love that ended.

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, April 19

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover

Page 2: Michael Douglas' short-term memory loss and frail frame have wife Catherine Zeta-Jones fearing for her older husband's well-being -- Michael once declared he'd beaten oral cancer, but harsh chemotherapy and radiation treatments have left him a shell of his former self and he has even admitted to suffering memory problems -- he was also affected by the 2020 death of his father Kirk Douglas and he hasn't been the same since his dad died -- this is a guy who cheated death with a horrific cancer ordeal, and he's had other medical issues over the years and some serious domestic dramas that have taken their toll -- Catherine always knew that their age difference would mean her taking care of him one day but she didn't expect it to be so soon

Page 3: Reese Witherspoon has ditched her wedding ring during recent outings, sparking rumors her marriage to Jim Toth is on the ropes but she feels their relationship isn't down for the count and refuses to give up the fight to keep their family together but they may not make it -- the desire to make things work is still there on both sides and they've been able to pull it all together all these years, even with personalities as different as theirs mainly for the sake of their family and they got on each other's nerves while cooped up together during the pandemic, but they don't bicker in public and that's one thing they have going for them

Page 4: Ryan Seacrest creeped out his pals when he gushed over Maria Menounos when she sat in for Kelly Ripa on Live recently -- Ryan thinks Maria is the smartest, most talented and beautiful woman to walk the planet and he can't help but swoon over her but Ryan understands Maria is happily married to TV writer and producer Keven Underago and he'd never cross the line and he doesn't want to date Maria, but he makes no secret he'd be dancing on air to have someone like her, which is kind of creepy, but he can't help it -- Ryan would never make moves on someone else's girl, but he does try to imitate her husband Keven's qualities like how funny and creative and sensible he is and Ryan adores Kelly and thinks she's great but he wouldn't mind if she takes more time off just so he can gaze at Maria

* Miley Cyrus' recent boozy night out with party pals, including British punk rocker Yungblud, has loved ones fearing she's slipping back into dangerous territory -- she was spotted at Hollywood's famous Rainbow Bar & Grill, drinking shots and beer chasers, just months after she admitted to her struggles with addiction and after fellow addiction-challenged singer Demi Lovato announced she was California sober, claiming she was safely able to drink in moderation, Miley didn't see any reason why she couldn't do the same -- her family and sober friends are deeply concerned for Miley's well-being and are begging her to stop drinking now

Page 5: Newly robust Celine Dion has her health back on track following a dangerous few years where she looked like a walking skeleton -- she has beefed up her wraith-like frame by making healthier choices during lockdown -- she went through a rough time of transition after husband Rene Angelil's death and lost a lot of weight, but lockdown has given her a chance to rest and focus on taking care of herself and now she looks 15 to 20 pounds heavier and seems in good spirits and is looking forward to rebooting her Courage World Tour when the pandemic ends

Page 6: Fitness fanatic Tim McGraw is a changed man since he kicked the bottle in 2008, but he's now hooked on working out and sculpting the perfect bod and he's publicly admitted exercise is what gets him flying high but his quest to get ripped to the max is now a 24/7 obsession and he spends hours in the gym and he's already flexing a muscular body most men would die for, but he doesn't want to stop until he's an Adonis and he works out twice or three times a day and packs his diet with energy-boosting smoothies and veggie juices and some might say he's going overboard with the workouts, but Tim craves those feel-good endorphins and he considers his workouts to be fun -- he loves the way he looks and thinks he can do better and he does spend a lot of time in front of the mirror admiring himself and tends to wear tight T-shirts that show off his pecs and six-pack abs, and wife Faith Hill loves the results -- a lot of people say he's traded one addiction for another

Page 7: Nearly six years after their bitter divorce, Miranda Lambert has finally extended an olive branch to ex-husband Blake Shelton, but she's still pretty envious over his professional success with fiancee Gwen Stefani -- last year, Blake and Gwen took home the collaborative video prize at the Country Music Television Awards for their duet Nobody but You, and also scored a Top Ten hit with their single Happy Anywhere and it makes Miranda jealous to see Blake making hay on the charts with Gwen but their success also made Miranda recall Over You, her hit collaboration with Blake, which won Song of the Year at the 2012 Country Music Association Awards and during a recent interview, Miranda affectionately blew kisses toward the camera as she recounted how her ballad with Blake was inspired by his grief over the loss of his older brother; still, Miranda also harbors a competitive streak and said she's angling to transform herself and husband Brendan McLoughlin into entertainment movers and shakers just like Blake and Gwen -- Miranda plans to enroll Brendan in acting school and Miranda wants them to act together and they are looking for scripts to make a television movie and even planning to launch a production company in Nashville and Miranda recognizes the musical chemistry Blake and Gwen share, and she believes she and Brendan can match that success on-screen -- meanwhile, as Blake and Gwen prepare to wed, Miranda is finally in a place where she can wish them well and Miranda carried a lot of animosity toward Blake and Gwen, especially since she suspected they started something before she and Blake split up, but she's very happy with Brendan so maybe all that pain she and Blake went through in ending their marriage was for the best

* Reba McEntire is reaching out to save her friend and former daughter-in-law Kelly Clarkson from suffering through a divorce that eerily mirrors Reba's own breakup -- Kelly split from husband and manager Brandon Blackstock in June 2020, and the divorce battle has them fighting over custody of their two kids as well as Brandon suing her for $1.4 million in unpaid commissions, but Reba has seen this before: Brandon's dad, Narvel Blackstock, dumped her in 2015 after 26 years of marriage, and despite initially agreeing to continue as her manager, dumped her as a client weeks later and Reba knows all too well how petty and conniving Narvel and Brandon can be, and her heart goes out to Kelly -- Kelly admits to Reba there are times when she just wants to run away and hide and Reba tells her to run away to me and it means the world to Kelly to have Reba in her corner -- Narvel and son Brandon head Starstruck Entertainment and are adamant that Kelly owes them big bucks for helping her land both her talk show and a coaching spot on The Voice, but with Reba's help, Kelly is fighting back and Reba learned the hard way the pitfalls of mixing business with family life and she's trying to help Kelly because she hates to see another woman suffer at the hands of a Blackstock

Page 8: Sicko Jeffrey Epstein has been accused of a horrific new litany of abuse by a woman who claims he forced her into unwanted genital surgery, raped her in front of her child and threatened to feed her to alligators -- the woman, identified in court papers as Jane Doe, is suing the late pervert's estate, claiming he and his alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell, groomed her for their sordid pleasure -- in the suit, she claims Epstein drove her to pick up her 8-year-old son and took them to a lake, where he threatened to feed her to alligators, as had happened to other girls in the past, if she dared to squeal on him -- at the time, the woman said she was 26, but she looked much younger and Epstein told her to say she was 17 and he also arranged for a man with a Russian accent to perform an unnecessary vaginal surgery to pass her off as a virgin to a client and this violent and illegal procedure was botched, leaving her mutilated, in pain, disabled, and permanently sexually dysfunctional

Page 9: Ghislaine Maxwell has been slapped with yet another sex trafficking charge and it's got her former pal Prince Andrew sweating bullets -- the new indictment details how Jeffrey Epstein's alleged madam reportedly groomed a 14-year-old for him, but crucially for Andrew, it expands the time frame of Ghislaine's alleged crimes from 1994 to 2004, a span that includes her meeting the British royal in 1999 and then introducing him to Epstein and that time frame also includes the period in which "sex slave" Virginia Roberts Giuffre claims she slept with Andrew three times, charges he's denied -- the new charge also opens the floodgates on other celebrities, politicians and high-profile figures who were in Epstein's orbit at the time and the new indictment widens the pool for Ghislaine and her defense attorneys because who wouldn't want to bring down all of these fat cats and who wouldn't be that desperate?

Page 10: Hot Shots -- Rumer Willis got to the root of her gardening needs in L.A., Michael B. Jordan and Chante Adams got cozy as they shared a snack while shooting Journal for Jordan in NYC's Central Park, Heidi Klum in L.A., Mario Lopez tossed the ceremonial first dice roll at the opening of the Mohegan Sun Casino in Las Vegas, Christopher Meloni shot his onscreen spouse's funeral scene for Law & Order: Organized Crime

Page 11: Tony Bennett has a secret weapon in his fight against Alzheimer's disease: his close pal and collaborator Lady Gaga -- Susan Crow Benedetto, 54, the wife of the 94-year-old singing legend, has enlisted Gaga to help keep Tony's faculties sharp as he struggles with advancing dementia because Gaga's telephone calls have always helped cheer Tony up and keep him focused and they laugh together, reminisce and sometimes sing and it always puts a smile on Tony's face and it's great therapy -- when asked whether Tony still recognizes the pop star, Susan joked that Gaga is hard to forget -- Gaga has also played a critical role in keeping the aging crooner active and creative by working with him and they plan to release their second album of duets this spring as a follow-up to their 2014 smash hit Cheek to Cheek

* Worried friends feared ailing rock god Ozzy Osbourne is coming unstrung while wife Sharon Osbourne's career goes into a death spiral -- Ozzy has been plagued by crippling illnesses over the years, including Parkinson's disease, and has to walk with the aid of a cane and now he's at wit's end and pushing himself into a danger zone as his wife fights tooth and nail after leaving The Talk amid a racism scandal and Ozzy's been under a great deal of distress over Sharon's problems over at The Talk and he worries and fusses over her and can't focus on anything else and it's left many in his circle very concerned for his health which is fragile enough already -- the bashing Sharon received during the scandal has the aging rocker concerned she may never work again and he'll have to be the breadwinner

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- five years after Angelina Jolie filed for divorce, she's still battling Brad Pitt over custody of their five youngest kids, now she's filed new court documents claiming she has proof of domestic violence against Brad and accusations like these would kill anyone else's career, but not in this case: Hollywood is 100 percent behind Brad and the sense in the industry is Angelina has weaponized the kids against Brad but Brad is very well respected in Hollywood, and most people find these new allegations hard to believe and if anything, Angie is only hurting the children and herself

* Real Housewives stars featured in the upcoming spinoff are cashing in and Bravo will pay Luann de Lesseps, Teresa Giudice and the others a sweet $200,000 for one week's work in Turks and Caicos and that's more than double what the ladies usually get for filming, plus they get a free trip to a tropical island

* American Idol could be on the chopping block because in just seven weeks the show has lost 2 million viewers and it's simple math: Idol cannot survive with its current budget and ABC has two options which are cancel the show or cut costs, which would mean hiring cheaper judges and a cheaper host to replace Ryan Seacrest and both options are being explored

* Britney Spears' beau, personal trainer Sam Asghari, shows off his toned abs in L.A. (picture)

Page 13: Palace insiders fear Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's vendetta against the British monarchy will take a shocking new turn: they'll bankroll a lurid movie about Princess Diana's death and the conspiracy theories that suggest the royal family was involved -- the rights to the movie script are owned by Hollywood producer Ben Browning, who was just hired by Harry and Meghan to run their film company Archewell Productions -- the controversial movie centers on Princess Diana's lover Dodi Fayed's father, former Harrods' boss Mohamed Al-Fayed, investigating his son's death and his belief that Dodi and Diana were murdered because she was pregnant and planning to marry, and The Firm did not want a Muslim in the royal family

Page 14: Crime

Page 15: Alabama Shakes drummer Steve Johnson has been busted on charges of willful torture and abuse of a child and was also charged with cruelly beating or otherwise maltreating a child under the age of 18 -- his arrest came just a year after he was slapped with a one-year suspended sentence and two years' probation after pleading guilty to menacing his ex-wife Whitney Lee, who called him mentally unstable -- Johnson helped the Shakes score three Grammys in 2016 for their album Sound & Color but the band has been on hiatus since singer Brittany Howard started a solo career in 2018 and Steve was lost after that; he went from playing in front of 50,000 people to playing in bars again -- even if the Shakes reunite, it's highly unlikely Steve would be invited back -- Steve remains in county jail awaiting his court date and his attorneys said Mr. Johnson maintains his innocence

* Danny Masterson and his lawyers believe they are victims of anti-Scientology bias and cannot get a fair trial in his Los Angeles rape case -- celebrity attorney Tom Mesereau, who successfully defended Michael Jackson against child molestation charges two decades ago, claimed his client has been treated unfairly because of his ties to the church, and that the police or district attorney's office leaked damaging details of the case -- Danny and his lawyers feel persecuted and that everybody in Hollywood who isn't a Scientologist is after them -- LAPD Robbery and Homicide Division Capt. Jonathan Tippet said his organization is keeping a tight lid on all information surrounding the case to ensure Masterson gets a fair trial

Page 16: Mormon church officials are being accused of corporate greed for using members' charitable donations to secretly create a $100 billion tax-free fund -- James Huntsman, the son of a prominent Mormon family, is suing the church for fraud, claiming donations solicited to finance charity work were actually used to fill church coffers -- the church boasts at least 15 million members worldwide, including celebrities like Gladys Knight, Donny and Marie Osmond, Katherine Heigl, Julianne Hough, Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling, Amy Adams and Aaron Eckhart and many could have tithed money that ended up in the tax-free fund

Page 17: Jen Shah of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was recently fingered by the feds as the bogus businesswoman behind a multi-state fraud scheme dating back to 2012 -- the Bravo blowhard, known for her extravagant parties, designer outfits and extensive entourage, and her first assistant Stuart Smith were arrested and charged with conspiracy to commit wire fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering -- the U.S. Justice Department alleged the Park City resident and Smith of Lehi generated and sold lead lists of innocent individuals for other members of their scheme to repeatedly scam, and claimed the greedy creeps defrauded hundreds of victims -- the terrible twosome targeted older adults and computer illiterate folks by using both telemarketing and in-person sales teams to peddle nonexistent online services and then fight the refund efforts of wronged consumers -- if convicted, Shah and Smith each face up to 50 years behind bars

Page 18: American Life

Page 20: L.A. County Sheriff Alex Villanueva triggered a cover-up scandal when he revealed his investigators determined why Tiger Woods drove off a California cliff, then refused to explain what happened, citing the golf legend's privacy -- Villanueva said the black box in the Genesis SUV that Tiger was driving when he flew off a suburban L.A. highway in the early morning helped determine the cause

* Hollywood Hookups -- Bethenny Frankel and Paul Bernon engaged, Melissa and Joe Gorga appear to have reached the finale of their marriage, Fernanda Flores and professional boxes Noel Mikaelian dating

Page 21: Britney Spears said she broke into tears after seeing bits of the new documentary about how she has been in the grips of a conservatorship for years, saying she was embarrassed by the light they put her in and she cried for two weeks and still cries sometimes

* Generous Hollywood legend Dick Van Dyke put a happy face on job seekers in Malibu when he handed out fistfuls of cash -- Dick was spotted withdrawing bills from a bank before driving to the Malibu Community Labor Exchange, a nonprofit that helps unemployed locals find day jobs and he stayed in his car as he handed out money to masked folks who were lined up to look for work

Page 22: The late Aretha Franklin left behind a royal mess of paperwork, including a newly discovered fourth will that has thrown her $80 million estate into fresh turmoil -- the eight-page document, titled The Will of Aretha Franklin, was apparently drawn up not long before her death in 2018, and was recently found among the files of the singer's onetime attorney Henry Grix along with the paperwork describing the terms of a trust but both items are stamped draft and neither has Aretha's signature but Michigan law changed seven years ago, and it made the admissibility of a document like this more flexible -- currently there's a bitter beef among Aretha's four adult sons over how their mother's assets should be divided

Page 23: The battle over Prince's $300 million fortune rages on, and the late pop star's siblings, and legal heirs, fear there won't be anything left after lawyers, accountants, administrators and the IRS take their cut -- five years after he died from a fatal fentanyl overdose without leaving a will, an avalanche of deals and court hearings have left his massive cash stash in limbo -- sadly Prince's distrust of lawyers and other professionals now means that millions will be spent paying those same people to try to sort out the mess he left behind and this could go on for a decade

Page 26: Weird Body Language -- stars cope with bizarre deformities -- Denzel Washington, Steven Tyler, Ashton Kutcher, Matthew Perry

Page 27: Lily Allen, Mark Wahlberg, Karolina Kurkova, Scar Service -- Tina Fey, Padma Lakshmi, Joaquin Phoenix

Page 32: Health Watch

* Ask the Vet -- Watch out for xylitol

Page 34: Just months after John Travolta's beloved wife, Kelly Preston, passed, the actor has been shattered by another death in the family -- his nephew Sam Travolta's badly decomposed body was found in his Wisconsin apartment last September, weeks after he died from a suspected heart attack -- John has suffered through so much loss and Sam's death was another huge blow but he's strong and has a deep faith in Scientology and the church brings him solace and comfort

Page 36: Shark Tank star Barbara Corcoran has stepped up to get a tenant in one of her buildings back on his feet -- Barbara and building co-owner Alex Rodriguez came under fire after Ryo Nagaoka's possessions were reportedly tossed while he was hospitalized with COVID-19 and when Ryo got home he found only his piano and pet tortoise in his cleaned-out crib -- emptying Ryo's apartment was necessary because it had become a health hazard and had a biocleaning crew scrub it -- Barbara donated $12,000 to a GoFundMe page for him, while A-Rod has seemingly not yet contributed anything and Barbara also said the building's management company has renovated Ryo's apartment

Page 38: Beloved game show host Peter Marshall made a miraculous recovery from COVID-19 to celebrate with friends at his 95th birthday party -- Peter was in and out of the hospital for ten weeks and he was at death's door and doctors didn't give him much of a chance but Peter beat the odds to enjoy a Zoom party attended online by Leslie Uggams, Loni Anderson, Sandy Duncan, Ruta Lee, Karen Valentine, Rich Little, JoAnne Worley, Jack Jones and more

* Accused sex freak Armie Hammer's career is in the crapper and he's beginning to believe that's where it will stay -- the kink king was fired from the thriller Billion Dollar Spy amid sexual assault allegations and the release of social media messages claiming he has dark fetishes including cannibalism -- Armie has already gotten to boot from the movie Shotgun Wedding and the series The Offer, and more trouble may be on the horizon: Armie was accused of sexual assault by a woman called Effie, who alleged the actor violently raped her and Armie's attorneys issued a statement denying the claims, saying Effie's own correspondence with Mr. Hammer undermines and refutes her outrageous allegations -- Armie has been keeping a low profile at a Caribbean resort, but fears his entire career is in trouble

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Carrie Underwood

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Employed To Serve are putting British metal back on top

For the past decade, Justine Jones and Sammy Urwin of Employed To Serve have helped elevate British rock and metal both on and off the stage, from Album Of The Year releases to their championing of new bands. Now, with fourth full-length Conquering on the horizon, the pay-off is being felt across the entire scene…

Some years ago now, at the end of her last job in retail, Justine Jones made a decision. Providing she could eat and had a roof over her head, she wasn’t, she told herself, going to spend her life doing anything that was “un-fun”. Instead, Justine decided, she’d navigate the world by working hard on the things she loved and that she truly believed in.

“I’ve never been content to be a cog,” she says. ​“I’ve always wanted to be like a very heavily involved person. I like having a say, I guess. I’ve never liked having a manager, in terms of work. I have got that childish, rebellious thing, like, ​‘Don’t tell me what to do.’”

Employed To Serve are not cogs. Nor are Justine and guitarist Sammy Urwin ones to sit around and wait for the lights to go green. With what the singer calls ​“our Hatebreed, perseverance attitude”, a self-starting, hands-dirty, DIY ethos that’s as much about enthusiasm for music and building a scene as it is firing up pits, they have become one of the most exciting British metal bands of the past decade. When Oli Sykes invited them to join the Bring Me The Horizon-curated All Points East festival two summers ago, he noted that they were ​“one of the few heavy bands around who I actually like”.

Kerrang! had got there before him, mind. In 2017, we crowned Employed To Serve’s second album, The Warmth Of A Dying Sun, our Album Of The Year. Its follow-up, 2019’s Eternal Forward Motion, was awarded a full 5K rating and a spot on our front cover, their second. When they gave us the nod a while ago that they were about to drop the first single from their brilliant fourth album, Conquering, coming this September, we didn’t even need to think about giving them a third.

Like Oli’s band, there’s an energy to Employed To Serve, an orbit around them that feels like it’s pulling in other bands, linking seemingly unlinked outfits together through sheer enthusiasm. Beyond the band, offstage, Justine and Sammy run Church Road Records from their home in the Surrey commuter town of Woking (a place notably annihilated by Martians in H.G. Wells’ War Of The Worlds). Through this, they can sign and put out music by bands that they like: the only real signing policy amounting to ​“bands that excite me”, says Justine. There’s as much gratefulness towards the artists they release – Svalbard, Palm Reader, Cruelty, to name but three – for trusting them to look after their records, as there is to anyone who gives their own band the time of day.

“As cheesy as it sounds, we’re lifers,” says Justine. ​“I love music. I love releasing it. I love that I do it for a full time job. I love playing live. First and foremost, we are music fans. Obviously, we love being in a band and stuff. But we just live and breathe music.”

As with so many things for so many people, the depth of this dedication was thrown into sharp focus as COVID took hold last year. At the end of 2019, Employed To Serve were on a winning streak. Eternal Forward Motion was one of the year’s most acclaimed releases, they band had spent a month on the road with Bury Tomorrow in Europe and the UK, and on New Year’s Eve, Sammy and Justine put a bow on their long-term relationship by tying the knot. In March 2020, just before lockdown ended touring for everyone, the band’s UK headlining run just about snuck in, and saw them sell out London’s Camden Underworld, a show that ended in chaos with the audience onstage triumphantly carrying Sammy on their shoulders.

When things ground to a halt, the gap left was palpable. Once source of reflection came in taking stock in what the band had achieved, while also having to find a replacement for guitarist Richard Jacobs. It’s an exercise the pair are admittedly used to, to the point where Justine says, ​“We probably look like dictators, like it’s the Sammy and Justine show.”

To wit, keen observers will note that they are the only members of Employed To Serve to be on both this Kerrang! cover and the last one. There’s no bad blood anywhere – Richard left to move to Japan with his wife, drummer Robbie Back has become a dad, bassist Marcus Gooda went on to focus on other things – it was simply the wage of getting older in a band. When life’s forks come up, you have to make a choice. For Sammy and Justine, the choice just happens to be to stay the course. Three new members have been drafted into the band – guitarist David Porter, bassist Nathan Pryor and drummer Casey McHale – but it still provided a moment of reflection for what was actually important.

Another, more serious bit of stock-taking came last September, when Justine resigned from her job as a label manager at Holy Roar records, after serious assault allegations were made against the label’s owner. Soon after, that label folded entirely.

But in both cases, where events could have sown doubt or caused serious damage, things instead bloomed. And so, Sammy and Justine turned Church Road – a small concern of Sammy’s for years already – into a full-time occupation and livelihood, taking on Holy Roar releases already on the slate and pressed, and releasing them herself. In the case of their first release, Svalbard’s When I Die, Will I Get Better?, there was barely a month to move everything over, and yet it still hit the shelves on the day it was always intended to. Because, looking back, it’s almost like there was no other consideration than to carry on.

“When everything happened, I thought, ​‘Maybe I could go to a bigger label or something.’ But that’s not where my heart is,” says Justine. ​“My heart is in finding bands in tiny little venues and then helping them grow into their second hours and stuff. And it’s just more fun. Obviously, it’s very scary [running your own label], and I’ve spent a lot of this past year very stressed. But I don’t have to answer to anyone – I just do the best I can for the bands because I love them. My favourite thing is sitting on Bandcamp with a coffee or a beer, and going through each genre finding the best bands of that day, or going through Apple Music or Spotify and finding new bands. It has been like that since I was a kid. So doing a record label just makes sense.

“Obviously I wish it was under better circumstances, but COVID has been almost like a blessing for this band, because it’s helped us regroup,” she continues. ​“It made us take stock of all the cool shit we’ve been lucky enough to do. Because sometimes when you get caught in the rat race of everything, you’re never really living in the moment. And then COVID happens, and you think, ​‘What do I miss?’ Friends, family, playing shows. And I’m like, ​‘Cool, I’m doing the right thing. Let’s get back to it.’”

For Justine, this meant becoming the boss. For Sammy, already a music obsessive with an apparent addiction to both old-school death metal and playing guitar in as many bands as possible as a member of Renounced and Motormouth (as well as playing in Glorious with Justine), it was an opportunity to dedicate his life to his passion even further. A gardener by trade, he’d lately found himself wondering what was beyond it.

“I was doing gardening work on and off for the last 10 or so years. I enjoyed the work, but sometimes I would kind of find myself being a little bit like, ​‘What’s the five-year plan?’” he says. ​“I’ll always do the band. But we got a few members going off and doing other stuff. I knew I had to find something else to do, because I wanted to do something in music that also fit around being in the band. I just knew I wanted to be with like-minded people talking about music all day.”

Sammy and Justine talk about music a lot. Get Sammy started on metal, and his enthusiasm quickly runs away with him. For Justine, their impending gig at Download Pilot a couple of days after our interview is as much about watching everyone else as it is their own show. Though one of the heaviest bands on the line-up, as a showcase of the breadth of rising talent the British rock scene has, appearing on the same ticket as Enter Shikari, Trash Boat, Creeper, Boston Manor, Neck Deep, Loathe and Conjurer is a large-scale version of what they’ve been driving at for years.

“It’s so funny, because it kind of sounds weird, but within the British scene, it makes total sense,” says Justine. ​“It’s a very rich scene at a minute, and it’s for all spectrums. You have bands like Orchards and Gender Roles on the Big Scary Monsters label, but equally, there’s loads of heavier bands, too. Everyone knows how hard it can be being a British band, because it’s hard to get over to America. And now, unfortunately, it’s gonna be hard to get to Europe [after Brexit]. So everyone’s got this thing like, ​‘We’re this little island here and we need to stick together and support each other.’ It’s a nice collective, and a moment in time to be a part of.”

“Even though we’ve written a more metal record [with Conquering] for us, that’s definitely not a statement of us closing the door,” says Sammy. ​“Obviously we’d love to tour with Gojira or Lamb Of God or something like that. But if Creeper came to us and said, ​‘Do you want to tour with us?’ we’d say yes.”

It was on such a line-up that Justine first appeared on the cover of Kerrang!, alongside Becky Blomfield of much-missed alt.punks Milk Teeth, with whom ETS were touring at the time. It not only showed two rising talents in the British scene, but also how well such different ends of it slotted together. Which was kind of the point.

“We were like the little metal sandwich in that tour,” says Justine. ​“But we worked well, because it was an example of this sort of British scene that’s going on at the moment.”

“People turned up who would be wearing ETS T‑shirts, and then singing along with Milk Teeth and vice versa,” says Sammy. ​“That’s so cool to see. Obviously there’s still a little bit of gatekeeping going on in the world of metal. But, for me, that was a really good sign of a shift.”

“It makes total sense. I don’t know why it’s not more of a thing, having mixed bills like that,” says Justine. ​“Everyone in our generation grew up listening to Slipknot and blink-182; two polarising bands, but it makes total sense. I listen to both of them religiously. So that actually kind of makes sense in a bill. It’s literally a music fan’s show. I remember Thursday opening for My Chemical Romance at Wembley on The Black Parade tour when I was 14, and Reuben opening for Billy Talent as well. I literally got to get into heavier stuff from those mixed line-ups.”

Put it to either of them that between their music, DIY attitude and simple lust for wanting to marshall a scene without walls, Employed To Serve could be called leaders, or at least the setters of examples for others to follow, and it’s a compliment they’ll take, but also something that they don’t want to take too much credit for.

“I mean, it’s for others to say, isn’t it?” says Justine. ​“We just have mental to-do list of stuff we want to achieve. And if that inspires people, that’s sick. It’s never like we try to be the leaders or anything.

“At the end of the day, I love the idea of kids getting into metal because of us and vice versa.”

As such an entry point, Conquering is a very good one. Ultra heavy and explosive, it leans even further into Sammy’s love of death metal OGs like Morbid Angel and Death, plus classic thrash, with shredding solos everywhere, as well as more vocals from the guitarist. And not even changing three-fifths of the band since their last album has had anything other than a sharpening effect. Fundamentally, Conquering is exciting, full of energy, and powered by a deep-set love for simply doing it.

“The floodgates have been opened, I guess, in terms of wearing our influences for this record on our sleeve,” says Sammy. ​“I like to think we still maintain the ETS that was there before, but it’s obvious that during lockdown and leading up to this record, for me it was about early Machine Head and Testament and Exodus and stuff. I feel like this is our chance to show that side of us a bit more.”

“It’s where I feel at home, as well, because I grew up listening to early Lamb of God and ​’90s-era Roadrunner Records bands,” adds Justine. ​“Straight-up metal, but not straight-up metal in the sense that we’re doing it by numbers. We sound like us, but there are more choruses and solos.”

“Lyrically, it’s similar to Eternal Forward Motion and touching on some pretty bleak stuff, but for the most part we tried to put a positive spin on it,” says Sammy. ​“I wanted put all of that energy into something positive. I didn’t want to say the same things again, because I didn’t want to make it sound like it’s the same record. I’d say it’s an even more positive record than before.”

The day we meet for this interview, long after the tape recorder goes off, conversation about bands and music continues into the small hours. Three days later, at Download, as Sammy chucks himself into the crowd at the end of the band’s set and Justine alternates between roaring her head off and smiling her face off, the delight in all this is self-evident. Employed To Serve are one of the best metal bands in the country – one of the best bands full stop, in fact – but on a broader scale, they also act as a reflection of an emerging wave of bands for whom being in a band is an act of joy, of doing something with your life, of not settling for things that are, as Justine says, ​“un-fun”.

“Stuff in the band does get to you sometimes and you do get grouchy or whatever,” admits Sammy. ​“But we realised that we’re also very fortunate people who have played with people that have become our best friends. It’s about taking stock and being like, ​‘This is fun.’ That’s what the album is about. It’s about not letting things in your life get the better of you. Because sometimes they do, and you find yourself getting all aggy, and you’re only doing yourself a disservice at that point, really.”

“I think Henry Rollins said, ​‘Tenacity over talent,’” says Justine. ​“We work hard, but it’s tenacity. You could be the sickest guitar player but just sit in your bedroom and never play a show. No.”

“I mean, I do set myself up for it, where I’m kind of pulling my hair out,” adds Sammy. ​“I’ve had times where I’ve had three or four band practices a week. And there’s a gig this night, and a gig that night, and I’ve got to do this, that and the other. But you’ve gotta be in it to win it. And when a cool gig comes about, or cool tour comes about, or you’re just really happy with what you recorded, that’s when you know it’s worth it.”

As they say themselves, Justine and Sammy are lifers. As other members leave to start families or move abroad to begin the next chapter of their lives, rather than feeling left behind, it’s almost made them realise even more quite what a special thing they have.

When it brings you as much happiness as doing this clearly does, what else do you need? And anyway, it’s worth it to not simply be a cog.

[sumitwcoast]

How to Choose Your Gym Madison

Whereabouts: How far is the gym from either your house or your work?

This is more essential than you might realist, for people in a normal 9-5 position, attending the gym can be a struggle, a struggle reduced if your gym is either near your work or your house. Having a facility close lessens the excuses you give yourself for not going and if it is near your job or home it is easier to make your way there.

Day rate facility

Does the Gym Madison have a pay as you go fee, if so then make use of it for about a month to see if you like it, there are no conditions and if you find something you do not like about the place then you are free to continue searching for a better gym. Choosing a 12 months deal can cause a lot of trouble if you realist you do not like it.

Better yearly deals

Commonly gyms give better deals to people who sign up for a year instead of a month or 3/6 months.

Research the gyms standing

Essential, do everything you can to find the gyms standing in terms of staff support, equipment condition and repair etc. There are a few ways to find out a fitness center's reputation, go to an internet forum online and see if there is anyone complaining about it, or simply ask a present member.

Ample equipment for your training needs

Most training facilities are wanting in some area or the other, whether it has a tiny free weights area or not enough cardio machines.

That is fine as long as you know what you need from the gym, if you need cardio then a weights focused gym is not important but rowers are and vice versa.

Scope out how full the Gym Madison becomes

Gym busy hour, usually straight after work or midday. If you plan to attend the gym any of those hours then attend the gym for a few days one of those hours if the gym has a day rate option, and see for yourself if the gym is just too crowded for your liking.

Staff attitude

Not terribly important, in fact I hardly if ever have a cause to speak with floor staff in my gym, however you expect a certain level of courtesy from gym employees.

Choosing the Right Gym -  Steps to Guide Your Selection

Lose 10 kg in 10 weeks! Open from 6 - 12 midnight! As low as RM 6 per day! Join for RM 28 and February is FREE!

Sounds familiar to you? There are just too many offers and promos out there when it comes to joining a gym, and I've heard enough. It's upsetting when some of them are misleading and only make it tougher for you to decide... so here are some pointers to help you choose a perfect gym you can call home. :)

Choosing the right gym has a huge impact on how well you adhere to your fitness program - for example, if it's really out of the way but cheap, what are the odds you'll be going regularly? A health club membership isn't something you buy and don't use - instead, the more you use it, the more you will get back, and the better value you get out of it.

So before you decide to sign on that membership contract, it only makes sense that you also 'shop around' first. Attractive prices and promotions can be tempting, but COST and the HOT female salesperson or front desk girl IS NOT everything when it comes to choosing the right gym for you.

FIRST, narrow down your selection to a few potential health clubs that you like, and then take the following suggestions into consideration (in no particular order) to guide you in making the right choice:

#1 - CONVENIENCE & ACCESSIBILITY (LOCATION)

For you to adhere to your fitness routine and not find it a hassle to workout - going to the gym needs to be convenient for you. You're more likely to use a club if it's close to your home or workplace. You won't go if it's far away, or if you have to constantly endure traffic jams just to get to workout. If you join a club that isn't convenient for you, you'll eventually find an excuse to stop going. When I first joined Fitness First back in 2003, it was less than a 5 minute drive from my workplace, and it still is - but the nearest one from my home was 20 km away. But now that there's a new Fitness First in Bukit Tinggi, Klang - the gym is 5 minutes away from home too. I've now got the best of both worlds. Lucky me.

#2 - TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

Make sure you 'test drive' the gym BEFORE you sign up. Sales people / Membership Consultants / Sweet Young thing, or whatever you call them - are well trained to hype up the benefits of the gym, so it is essential that you yourself actually try out some of the equipment and get a feel of the actual atmosphere BEFORE you sign up. You'll need at least a day pass to try out the gym and decide for yourself before you sign up.

Check the gym's website for a day pass - almost always given out for free. Come at the same time you plan to come in the future, get changed, work out, maybe try a class, have a shower, relax, and then go home. Then, you decide.

#3 - DO YOU LIKE IT?

When you tour the club, pay attention to details. How clean is the facility? Is the music too loud? Are all the equipment in working order? Too many ''out of order'' signs may indicate poor maintenance. Are new members provided with a club orientation and instruction on how to use equipment? Make sure the club is a place where you would enjoy spending time, cos if you don't - once again, it's only a matter of time before you start making excuses not to go.

#4 - GROUP CLASSES

This is depends on one's personal preference - if group classes are what gets you going and motivated, then find a gym that offers a good mix at a time that suits your schedule. Some fitness centers have classes as early as 7 AM - so there's always something for someone out there. Personally for me, even if the group studio comes crashing down, it wouldn't really affect me because it's just not my thing, but it may be for you.

#5 - WORKOUT HOURS

Most of the gyms like us Gym Madison open early and stay open late, so this shouldn't be much of a problem. Before you join, though, make sure your club is open when you plan to go. Then visit the club at those exact times you intend to work out. Check whether the club is too crowded or if there are long lines for equipment at that time. In a recent survey of 1,500 website visitors by the American Council on Exercise (ACE), 46% of respondents indicated that overcrowded gyms are the number one reason that keeps them from going to the gym. Believe me - it can be very frustrating and time consuming if the gym is overly crowded when you workout - you end up wasting a lot of time.

To know more about us visit our site: Gym Madison

[wrotetheaboveoftoday]

1831 Thurs. 20 January

7 10/..

12 20/..

L

F46º at 7 10/.., soft damp morning with a little rain while I was out - out at 8 10/.. to the Muette gate Boulevard de Beauséjour  and back at 10 10/.. - dressed - 1 5/.. hour reading Le Temps - breakfast in 25 minutes - 15 11 35/.. had my hair done - had 1/2 hour's nap - Letter from Mariana (Leamington) about 12 1/2 - at my desk at one - read my letter - dated 1/2 down the 2nd page from Warren's hotel London  3 pages and the ends and under the seal -

Mention of the death of Mr. John Charles of Newton Kyme - neither of the executors can act with her Mr. Charles (John late the banker) residing out of the kingdom and writes Mrs. Charles to Mariana ‘Mr. Raper you know from his conduct is banished [from] the kingdom’  Death of your old and faithful housekeeper Mrs. Tatham - William Milne not well - inquired after the school recommissioned by Miss MacLean (my poor dear Sibella) Miss Clomels, Yorkgate, much pleased with it - expense till the age of 14 or 15 £100 a year and Mariana will make a sacrifice to send her niece there - of course as I ought to know I have not much to expect from her in the money way

Mr. Willoughby Crewe writes her that the people began to threaten in Cheshire - she had thought much of what I told her about returning to England - I shall most likely be at 'home in July which perhaps is the best place for us to be together in' such a chance as Scarbro' 2 years ago is not to be expected -     

“If your aunt's health will admit of a return to England possibly she might sit down comfortably at Shibden - certainly such an arrangement would set you more at liberty than any other, and now that you are in such good luck as to society, and stumbling on eligible companions for seeing all you may desire of other countries, I would certainly have you follow it up - you will not be less inclined to go again, should opportunity offer, and if it should not, it will always be an advantage to both that even one has seen the world"

She thinks 'somehow' the continent will not be long open to us - will 'count the time like a school girl' to July - voila tout on this subject  well it is all very well I must make my plans and then tell her them never expecting her advice to help them much - Lady, I mean Mme. de Polignac was a Parkinson daughter says Mariana of the last sister of the present Lord Rancliffe - niece to the Lady of Mrs. Salmon's  brother Captain Barrow - from 1 3/4 to 4 25/.. wrote 3 pages and the ends, long, and under the seal, all very small and close to Mariana from 4 1/2 to 6 wrote page 4, and the ends and crossed page 1 and finished my letter to Mrs. William Priestly begun Monday the 10th instant (vide lines 1 and 8 of page 16)

Dinner at 6 10/.. - read the paper - came to my room at 7 1/2 - _twenty five minutes preparing napkin for my cousin came gently between one and two this afternoon - have wrote to Mariana, surprised to find her in London -

"It is impossible ever to count upon anything like fixity in their case, quite as  much so as in my own - as to myself, nothing is more settled than when I wrote last - no communication has as yet passed on the subject of returning, between my father and me - but you shall know all as soon as you can - I have no reason, at present, to think my aunt will not be able to bear the journey; tho' it is probably enough, if she does not go next summer, she may never go at all - However, perhaps the chances are, we shall     make the attempt - as for my traveling schemes, I see your uncertainty, but I do talk, and must talk of them, because I cannot calculate upon being able to remain comfortably in England - even you yourself, weighing all things justly on the balance, will not, I think, be for my staying longer than necessary beyond the time where we have been as much together as circumstances will permit - my aunt may do very well at Shibden - rien à dire contre - quant à moi, c'est une autre paire de manches - I do not expect the chance of Scarbro' encore, and only ask for 3 weeks, because I think you would have a right to claim the time certain - But we shall see by and by comment tout cela doit d'arranger - as for my 3 possible, just possible traveling companions, I do not count upon any one of them; and all would be very temporary - Lady S- [Stuart] (Gordon) may perhaps be persuaded to go to Spain - Miss Mackenzie is still, I believe, at, or not far from Naples and Miss Pickford is I know not where - and perhaps, after all, [your wid[?]] is as likely as anybody - je n'en sais rien - sufficient till the day etc. etc. and I shall not pother myself by attempting to fin[al] anything till the time comes - I shall be delighted and satisfied to see you, and this will be enough for me -    

Poor dear Sibbella! I have lost the ostensible and now, I find, the real object I cared to wait for here; and, I confess, I have felt more than usually unsettled since my last return - I can understand the regret for [totality] - It is a serious thing, more serious than we sometimes fancy, to lose anyone to whom we have been long accustomed - I refuse going anywhere in an evening, for I am not in a humor for it and morning visits I make as seldom as I can - Mrs. Hamilton promised to introduce me to Lady Granville; but she has not yet been called upon for the fulfillment of her promise; and I am in no hurry - now that my mind is almost made up to be off from here in the summer, I am indifferent about things that would otherwise have interested me much - nous verrons - I am not much above concert-pitch; and now that I have done enough of at my accounts for the present (expense of last year not much above thirteen-hundred) I am seriously meditating a return to my little apartment, and turning back to something more mental than the commonplace of rue Godot - By the way, 13 hundreds are more than I wish to spend just now; but, in the status quo, I am quite sure I cannot make less do - economy goes for something in my not visiting this winter, tho' I am not sorry to have this excuse to make to myself"

Mention Kinnersy having changed 5/. for transmitting the money - 'the accounts I have from Briggs are much better than I expected - all my rents were paid' - remember hearing 'my poor dear friend speak of Miss Clomel's (Yorkgate, London) school'. She at one time wished to have her nieces there - 'It is a nice situation, from all I remember about it, a very likely one to suit their people' ask the age of 'Mariana Lajeune' - 'I am glad you think her such a nice girl, and shall be anxious to hear what you determine about her - at her age, she certainly has no time to lose' - ask after Steph - fear she can expect no great advice from that quarter - will inquire about Mme Thomas rue des filles St. Thomas no. 23 Mde des modes - mention have several 2 or 3 times met a lady I should have fancied Mrs. John Raper had I not beheld her to be at St. Bues in Cumberland. Beg Mariana not to forget her French and if she sends little Mariana to Miss Clomel to 'beg that this language may be particularly attended to' - all the rest of my letter chit-chat of no consequence

my letter to Mrs. W. Priestly - chit chat - had received her letter on my return home 'for which I should have made a point of thanking you immediately, had my mind been more at ease' - she would see by the papers the death of my poor friend Miss MacLean 'for the nearness of which I was strangely unprepared - Deceived to the last, she herself was not aware of the real state she was in, till the last 3 or 4 days; and the 1st account that met me on my return was that of her death' - Congratulation on the Sutherlands being returned to Crownest -

'I can easily understand and join in their sentiments on this subject - I am accustomed to give you credit in matters of both of feeling and of judgement; and it is not in this instance that I should be inclined to dissent, in spite of the opinions, the wishes, or the interests of others’

say 'I had a very interesting tour last summer - a week on the Spanish side of the mountains and at the 1st Spanish town found the contrast between the French and Spaniards as striking as that between the French and English on first landing at Calais - from Narbonne to near Marseilles disappointed with the shores of the Mediterrtanian but M- Toulon and Hières made us regret that our arrangements did not allow of our going farther' -

I find my aunt surprisingly well - she had behaved admirably during the revolution, having been much calm and composed than many younger and stronger people - she says she never felt alarmed but once, and that only for a little while when Marmont threatened to blow up the whole street if they did not instantly cease making the barricade, which, however, was completed in the night - we had no fear during the trial of the ex ministers - 100,000 men under arms - sense enough' -  

All as quiet here now as the P-s [Priestleys] themselves can be at Lightcliffe - mention Laffitte’s being ruined by the revolution - conclude with

‘I know your time is a thousand (crossing on the 1st page) times better employed than in writing to me, and therefore and therefore only I do not expect to hear from you very soon - If you wait 6 or 7 months, perhaps you may have an opportunity of answering in person - Do not name this to any one but Mr. Priestley because our plans are at this moment not fixed, and therefore not mentioned even to our friends at Shibden - I am too much accustomed to trust to your discretion to doubt it in any case - you may see us both - it depends this time as I told you it did 2 years ago, on my father - I fancy you can read my crossing without much difficulty - I did not wish to write the last sentence where Mrs. Bagnold could read it too easily - my aunt’s kind regards to yourself (had before joined in mine to Mr. Priestley) - and my own, too, and believe me, my dear Mrs. Priestley, affectionately and very truly yours A L- Anne Lister’

dated ‘Friday 21 January 1831’ - from 7 1/2 to 9 1/4 (coffee at 9 20/.. and came to my room at 10 55/..) and from 11 to 11 1/4 wrote all but the first 22 lines of today - did not talk much to my aunt tonight - read her what M- [Mariana] wrote on the subject of our going to Shibden , and said, I took it, that she did not particularly advise but said nothing at all against it - spoke as if hesitating on the subject - but my aunt herself says she thinks it best on all accounts to go - Soft damp disagreeable day - a little rain in the morning while I was out - and gentle rain from about 2 p.m. for a considerable time - F48º now at 11 20/.. p.m. and damp, wet night - raining a little - rainy night -

[crystallized-iron]

Fic Recs

I really don’t read as much as I should, but there have been some really great ones. MCU and X-Men recs under the read more.

I think... if I counted right, this is 25 recs here. I may have gotten carried away a little bit. Enjoy.

--- --- ---

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

And we pulled each other like gravity by hllfire Rating: Explicit

Erik accompanies Charles, Crown Prince of the Xavier Empire, to his first diplomatic meeting on the planet Themis, where he finds out something about the Prince and they end up talking about the past and how their paths had crossed before.

Fill for the Day 1 of Cherik Week: Space AU.

Bitter Sweet by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky comes home from the war, finds out he has a daughter he never knew existed and now he must cope with life after the war while taking care of her.

Alternate timeline where Bucky's rescued after falling from the train, but Steve was never told and goes into the ice anyway.

Broken by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

It took months of therapy for Bucky to break his Winter Soldier conditioning, and Steve was there for him, encouraging him to talk about his past, his fears, his time as the Soldier. And Bucky talked about everything-- except why the barest mention of an Alpha makes him panic. When Steve brings Bucky home, Alpha!Tony is ready to welcome Bucky with open arms and wings, but Bucky can't look at him, can't be in the same room without his wings flaring out to keep the Alpha away, a broken Omega panicking in the presence of a strong Alpha. But Tony is a good Alpha, and the team pulls together to help Bucky, showing him what it means to be loved, to be healthy and whole, and one day when Tony holds his hand out, Bucky trusts him enough to take it. And Bucky realizes that with a family behind him, with the safety hes found in the Omegas, the companionship from the Betas, and the unconditional love from the Alpha--HIS alpha, he isn’t broken at all. But with a team like the Avengers, tragedy is never far off, and this one rocks the family to their core. How can they fix the broken pieces of their lives when their Alpha is gone?

Close to you, I’m home by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

As Erik is searching the manor, he finds something strange in the attic. He knows that he needs to go to Charles, if he wants some answers. After all, why would there be a nest in a small dusty attic room, when there were countless rooms with ridiculously soft beds all around the manor?

Goodbye Brothers by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

A look at Dum-e during the events of Iron Man 3 and beyond.

It’s Not What You Think... by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky walks in on Tony dirty talking in the lab but it's not what he thinks.

Letters to Bucky by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

Stuck in rehab after a near-fatal accident, Tony reaches out via letters to a soldier overseas, and Bucky is more than happy to write back, drawn to Tony for a reason he can't quite name. One or two letters turn into a years worth, then come the phone calls, with Tony quickly realizing that Bucky's voice, with that rolling Brooklyn accent might be his new favorite sound. When Bucky shows up unannounced at Tony's door, one thing leads to another and maybe a confession or two is made. But Bucky's tour overseas isn't over yet, not even close, and they have months more of distance between them. Then Bucky disappears, missing in action, and Tony doesn't know if he will ever get his soldier back. And if Bucky DOES make it home, will he be the same boy from Brooklyn who sent Tony love poems, or has his time away and his injuries changed him for good?

BONUS CHRISTMAS CHAPTER ADDED 12/10/18

Let your light shine by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by Moomin TV series from 1990 and the episodes “The invisible friend” and “The invisible Child”. It’s the start of the summer break and Erik, a 13 year old boy living in a small house with his mother in the outskirts a small(ish) English town, is stuck in home because of the rain. The evening seems to get interesting though, when a strange man arrives with an invisible telepath boy and asks them to help him become visible again.

Loving a Vampire by Feelingsinwinter Rating: Mature

In the 19th century, Tony is a greatly appreciated and skilled inspector. His dire need to find the murderers and killers to every case he is given is well known among the people and while it doesn’t always help him to get the answers he needs, at least it makes it easier to convince people to talk to him. When Mary Ann Nichols is found dead, Tony Stark doesn’t know the investigation will put his life in harm’s way, put his marriage with one James Buchanan Barnes on shaky ground and shove him in a situation he wasn’t ready to face.

When a murderer does their best to earn the name of a monster, Tony is ready to do anything to stop them.

My beacon in a storm that is the world by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Erik hated this planet. And he had seen a few along the years as a pilot of the most troublesome research team that had ever existed.

Or, they find a new alien species and Erik catches a bad case of feelings ragarding his relationship with Charles.

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society's Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky's family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn't only come with rewards, it also comes with certain...expectations and losses--some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.

Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband...

Pirates Heart by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

The 1700s, the Golden Age of Piracy, and Captain Steve Rogers has all he wants: a ship, a loyal crew, Bucky at his side, and the horizon offering a new adventure everyday. But an impulsive kiss gone wrong leads to a marriage between Steve and Tony Stark, and now Steve doesn't know what to do about ANYTHING. Steve loves Bucky, but something about Tony draws him in. Tony is too innocent for this life, but he picks up a sword anyway. Bucky is Steve's, but when he offers his hand to Tony and now the three of them are something new. When the truth about Steve's mission to ruin the Stark name comes out, Tony runs away, leaving Steve and Bucky behind in search of answers to the secrets hidden from him his whole life-- about his company, about Uncle Obie, about his parents death.

Steve and Bucky cant abandon their mission against Stane and Tony cant deal with the answers he finds in New York. Is this the end? Is Tony gone forever? Or will he leave his old life and return to the sea and the Pirates that hold his heart?

**BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 2/4/19!!** **BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 5/15/20!!**

Random Encounter by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is just a typical London commuter...until he sees the most gorgeous man on earth standing a few feet away from him.

Regret is in the past by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Six years after first class, the cold war escalates and the missiles are fired, destroying the world as it was known. Those who managed to live, fight for survival against each other and against the living dead. One would think that the mutants have advantage, but Shaw was wrong in his assumption that the radiation would make them stronger. On the contrary, it made them weaker, their powers only half of what they used to be. In this world of waste land, Erik and what’s left of the brotherhood are trying to survive. It’s five years later, they are cornered by the zombies while they were trying to gather supplies in abandoned town. The situation seems hopeless, until a silver haired boy appears out of nowhere and tells them to be ready to run.

Small Indiscretions (Can Save the World) by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Captain Steve Rogers has defeated the Red Skull but lost his own life in the process, leaving behind a grieving Peggy and guilt-ridden Howard Stark. After looking to Howard for comfort following her great loss, Peggy finds herself facing the scariest mission she’s ever encountered: motherhood.

While this news is devastatingly unwanted for Peggy, Howard sees this as a golden opportunity to give his bride Maria the child she never thought she could have. With a little convincing and promises that she won’t have to be involved with the child’s life if she doesn’t want to be, Peggy agrees to keep and have the baby for the Starks, own personal comfort be damned. She wasn't planning on it being so hard, or finding someone she didn't want to lie to along the way. AKA what if Peggy Carter was more than just Tony Stark’s badass aunt?

The Consequence of Hiding by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is completing his PhD at Oxford when he finds himself in dire need of a new job to support himself and Raven. Erik is a grumpy Mutant Student Counsellor who has yet to fill his student assistant position. Enter Prof. MacTaggert and her matchmaking ways to bring her student and her friend together (in platonic, professional compatibility, of course). Will things stay platonic for Charles and Erik? Only time will tell.

The Funeral by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Tony attends the viewing and funeral of his parents. The other members of the company's board are not amused by his actions there.

The Risks by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by post on Tumblr It takes Erik by surprise how Mystique doesn't seem to remember just how much Charles has done and risked for them, for their kind. But it seems that Erik wasn't quite aware of the risks either.

The Robot Who Could Feel Pain by slightly_salty_ace Rating: Teen

In which Tony leaves Afghanistan more machine than human. Or rather, Iron Man leaves Afghanistan. To the world, Tony Stark is dead.

Or...

Steve is convinced that Iron Man is just a robot with sass because the future is a strange place and he's stopped questioning things.

But when someone from Tony Stark's past returns, putting Iron Man in danger, Steve is forced to start asking questions. Specifically questions about his feelings towards a certain red and gold robot.

The Shared Dream by TurtleTotem Rating: Teen

Charles's cryo-pod malfunctions and wakes him up a century before everyone else. Will he spend the rest of his life alone on a ship full of sleepers? (A Passengers AU.)

The Soldier by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

There's something wrong with Bucky. Something very wrong and it may have dire consequences for his friends and loved ones.

Time Falls Away by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Mature

The Battle of New York: Tony flies himself and the nuke through the wormhole and when his suit shuts down and he starts to fall, he knows he's going to die. But then he wakes up in an alley in Brooklyn, two strangers staring down at him in confusion and Tony is sure he is dreaming when he shakes hands first with pre-serum Steve Rogers, and then Bucky Barnes. Trapped in 1942, Tony befriends Steve, and falls in love with Bucky but America is at war, and Bucky and Steve ship out to join the cause. Tony knows all the stories about the Howling Commandos and knows what’s coming for the soldiers, and has to live through history as first Bucky falls, and then Steve disappears. Tony is left alone in the 40's, crying himself to sleep in the house he had shared with his best friend and his lover. But then he wakes up on the pavement in New York, the Hulk roaring in his face, Steve staring down at him, and he has to wonder if it was all a hallucination. When Tony fell through the sky, did he fall through time as well? Why does Steve act so cold towards him? Were he and Bucky really that happy together?

Did it all really happen, or is Tony in love with a life he can only have in his dreams?

We want the same thing by hllfire Rating: Mature

Charles is locked up underground, where his telepathy won't be a problem, deemed too dangerous now to be kept free. Erik pays a visit.

Fill for the Day 2 of Cherik Week: Dark!Charles.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

In an alternative post Civil War, Clint and Bucky fell in love and tried to make a life together. But then Thanos happened and Clint embraced the darkness within himself trying to cope with all his loss.

This is how after Bucky returned, Clint still can't cope with what happened and who he's become. How even though he seems to have it all, his own mind is his now his greatest enemy. Bucky tries to help but how do you help someone that doesn't believe he should be saved?

[demaury]

boys online. chapter 2. (social media influencers au)

7916. 124. 10. These are the numbers that define Eliott and Lucas’ relationship, either they want it or not. 7916 kilometers between them, from Paris to Vancouver. 124 days since they first said ‘I love you’ last spring. And nearly 10 hours, until… well, until they meet for the first time. (ao3)

MANON CHATON

vu aujourd’hui à 20:34

i'm so in love

fuck what’s happening to me

😂

i get that you found eliott

i was getting a little worried here

it’s been literally five minutes!!!

sure, jan

so that means your flight landed somewhere in poland

because you should have arrived a whiiiiile ago if you were in paris 😏😂

i was taking five minutes to make-out with my bf

i bet you did 👀

is he a good kisser at least?

the best

i'm so whipped

you’re so whipped

but it’s cute

“Missing home already?”

Lucas looks up from his phone and cranes his neck just as Eliott slides in the seat next to him, carefully setting the two Styrofoam cups he just retrieved from the barista on the table. They’re waiting for the cab Lucas ordered after Eliott showed up and Starbucks seemed like the better option they had at the moment — at least once they stopped sharing oxygen and saliva long enough to get behind that idea.

“Not a fucking chance,” he grins as he locks his phone. He leans closer into Eliott’s personal space and the smile his boyfriend gives him back turns the cheekiest comments he can ever come up with into wobbling knees and fluttering stomach. “Thank you,” he says, punctuating it with a peck on Eliott’s lips.

He proceeds to grab his part of their order while Eliott settles more comfortably next to him — and, Lucas notices, even closer. “I received the text from the company, they said our car should be waiting for us at 9,” Eliott says, checking the text as he speaks. “We should probably get ready to take the commute soon I guess.”

“Guess so, yeah.” Lucas stretches his arms high above his head and scrunches up his face. “I’m beat, the flight was so long.”

It’s been two years since he last came to France, and damn has he forgotten how boring spending nearly ten hours in a plane was. After his parents’ divorce he had only come back a handful of times, generally to spend a few days in Nice with his paternal grandmother when his dad was in the mood to bother forcing him to do stuff, so it wasn’t like he was really used to making 8h+ flights abroad. Mostly he knows he should be thankful because there’s been no assholery behavior and no crying baby or tantrum-y kid.

“Can’t wait to see these eyes without the bags underneath,” Eliott teases, pocking to his cheek playfully.

Lucas bats his hand away just for the sake of it, but it’s not harsh and Eliott knows him too well to even question. “Well, sorry for you, but the bags are rooming with me,” he huffs. “I tried to stay awake last night to sleep during the flight. Worked tremendously, as you can see.”

“They are nice bags,” Eliott decides, shrugging slightly. “I could get used to it, they make your eyes pop in the end.”

Lucas tilts his head to the side, cocking an eyebrow. “You didn’t sound so sappy over FaceTime, I feel lied to,” he says, playing with his cup nonchalantly. “Now I wonder what else is different.”

Eliott seems to ponder his answer, and Lucas stares, obvious and unapologetic. It’s not a big reveal that his boyfriend is even more beautiful in person than he already is in pictures, and it still amazes him even after all this time and an entire day spent obsessing over it that one day they met as friends, last April. Eliott had a family member getting married somewhere near Calgary and it was just too good of an opportunity to miss it. Right after the wedding Eliott had hopped in a plane for Vancouver and they had spent the day hanging out and touring around Vancouver. Well, Eliott had toured around Vancouver. Lucas, for his part, had mostly followed and occasionally taken his eyes away from Eliott long enough to gesture at some place.

“You’re right,” Eliott says, sounding awfully serious. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something that might affect our relationship, but I need to get it off my chest so that you can be prepared.”

Lucas isn’t sure where he’s going with it, but Eliott shifts on his chair to face him without looking like he’s waiting for an answer. His grey eyes meet Lucas’, deep and serious, and it takes Lucas most of his willpower to keep his mind on tracks, when all he wants to do is reach out and touch that perfect jawline of Eliott’s.

“I’ll be the sappiest of the saps,” Eliott declares, ignoring when Lucas bursts out laughing. “I have my boyfriend in town for two small weeks, so you better be ready for all the cheesiness in the world because I fully intend to make the most of it,” he concludes.

Lucas shifts too, facing him. “So that’s not our first date?”, he asks, faking surprise.

“In a Starbucks coffee?” Eliott scoffs. “Please, I have standards. I was just desperately trying to give you a caffeine boost to keep you up on your two feet.”

Lucas cocks an eyebrow. “The cheesiest boyfriend in the world wouldn’t mind picking his boyfriend up, just saying.”

“You want me to do that?”, Eliott deadpans, cocking an eyebrow too.

“Jesus, no,” Lucas huffs a laugh, shaking his head, and Eliott joins him.

He doesn’t really know why he freaked out some 24h ago, when everything seems as simple as it should be. They’re easily navigating between banter and cutesy declarations, and it’s something Lucas always dreamed of finding in a boyfriend. Eliott reaches out, his fingers threading through Lucas’ hair.

“We should get going,” he says, pressing a soft kiss on Lucas’ lips. “Last thing I want is so miss our commute and end up dragging my sleepy boyfriend all the way out.”

Lucas snorts, taking a sip from his coffee. “I���m not a child, I’ll let you know. I can stay awake one more hour.”

*

Lucas doesn’t stay awake one more hour.

Which is totally fine, if you ask Eliott. They’ve been in the car for roughly fifteen minutes when Lucas’ head falls on his shoulder, pretty eyes closed and his grip loosening ever so slightly around Eliott’s fingers.

“Jetlag doesn’t forgive,” the taxi driver says, sententious, as he peeks in the rear-view mirror halfway through a story involving electric bikes. “Where are you guys coming from?”

“He lives in Canada,” Eliott replies, and it’s still a nagging feeling at the back of his mind that this reality, them together in the same town, isn’t one that is meant to last. “I live in the 11e though.”

His attention drifts away as the driver manages to find another topic of conversation involving Eliott’s area of Paris, focusing instead on the soft patterns he traces with his fingers on the inside of Lucas’ wrist. At this point, the only thing keeping Eliott from reaching for his phone to snap a selfie of them both is that he doesn’t have the heart to take either of his hands away from a sleepy Lucas. Hear him out, he can tear his eyes away from him, it’s just that he gets to hear Lucas laugh and smile and angrily venting when things don’t go the way he wants them to go, but sleep is something he’s never been able to witness. And, like, Eliott is completely, utterly in love with Lucas but he knows by now that he can be a real pain in the ass when he wants to be — so seeing him soft and cute like that, he’s not ready to pass on it just yet.

The road from the airport isn’t all that long, given the general state of the Parisian traffic, and when they get to rue Dangeau, where Lucas’ hotel is situated, it’s been around forty minutes since they left Roissy-Charles-de-Gaulle. The sleeping arrangement got him thinking, when they were planning Lucas’ trip to France, because they had been together for less than three months, and the last thing he wanted was for Lucas to feel pressured about anything. Granted, it had taken him less time to lose his virginity to Lucille when they were younger, but it doesn’t mean it’s a race either. His boyfriend was still 17 back then, and Eliott distinctly remembers worrying a whole night about all the things he could possibly say that could send the wrong message whatsoever. The good side is that ever since he managed to man the fuck up and confess his feelings to Lucas, things have been (mostly) easy to navigate between them and Lucas has (mostly) been on the same page — he said he didn’t want to rush things either, but simply because they deserved to make things ‘the right way’, which is still a fair point, albeit a bit different. In the end they have both agreed to the hotel thing, and the more thoughts Eliott puts into it, the more natural it felt.

He releases Lucas’ hand as the car parks just across the street on a delivery spot, and it gets him to stir and mumble. “Note to self,” he groans as Eliott unbuckles his seatbelt, rubbing his eyes from his hand, “coffee doesn’t hold a candle to a nine-hour jetlag.”

“Will you manage to walk inside or do I have to pick you up?”, Eliott enquires, barely biting back a smirk.

Lucas squints his eyes. “Look at you making fun of me.” He pouts, and he unbuckles his seatbelt before sliding out through the door he chucked open. “I’ll manage, since you’re so nice to ask.”

Eliott snorts and hops off through his own door while Lucas retrieves his luggage from the driver. The man greets them warmly before getting back in and driving away. The hotel Lucas picked isn’t particularly fancy, it’s actually one of those hotels you’d walk by without really noticing. Despite being three floors high, it’s squeezed between a flower shop and a restaurant selling kebabs, in a narrow one-way street, but Eliott is almost surprised by how comfy it feels as soon as they push past the door of the lobby. Lucas goes to retrieve the key to his hotel room, and he allows himself a moment to check his phone in the meantime, but there’s nothing there that requires his undivided attention like his boyfriend does. A couple of notifications and texts from his friends that he puts on hold for the time being, when Lucas makes sign for him to join as he’s climbing upstairs.

“Home sweet home,” Lucas sighs, dropping himself flat on the bed as soon as they get in.

“It’s a nice hotel,” Eliott observes thoughtfully, closing the door behind him. “And at least you aren’t far from my place.”

Lucas props himself back up on his elbows. “It’s still too far,” he complains.

Eliott snorts and shakes his head. “It’s really not. And you’re literally on automatic pilot now, you need to sleep.”

“I know that.” Lucas pauses. “I just- I don’t know, I just want you to stay. Here. With me.”

“But we agreed that we would take it slow,” Eliott says, frowning a little.

“Of course, yes,” Lucas replies quickly, and Eliott isn’t sure but he thinks Lucas might be blushing. “But I want cuddles.” And he goes on, raising his arms and making grabby hands in his direction.

Eliott takes in Lucas’ tired eyes, his pouty lips, his messy hair and his grabby hands, and it’s not even that he feels himself cave in, because he had already stopped fighting himself the moment Lucas first asked, but there’s literally not a single good reason for him to leave this hotel room now. The first thing he does, before answering even, is kicking off his shoes, then he looks back up and Lucas’ grin is worth everything in the world.

“Let’s cuddle then,” Eliott says.

As soon as he plops down next to him, Lucas immediately drags him in a laying position and worms his way between his arms.

*

Having a sleeping boyfriend in bed he’s trying not to wake up is something Lucas isn’t quite used to, in complete honesty. Jake was his first relationship after he came out, and it hadn’t lasted three full months, so it’s not like he really managed to make his marks as a not-single guy. Point is, disentangling himself from Eliott’s arms has been surprisingly stressful, and he hates his bladder for forcing him out of his living safety blanket, but he hates his brain even more for making him stare pointlessly at an invisible spot for about an hour before that.

Jetlag is a fucking bitch, he thinks grumpily as he closes the lid and flushes the toilet, motioning to the sink to wash his hands. There’s a mirror hanging off the wall above the basin, and the glance he spares it isn’t really helpful. He literally has red circles on top of the black ones now, and it makes a weird Halloween-ish look with his blue eyes — which he’s positive isn’t attractive in any part of the world.

He retrieves his phone from the nightstand on his side of the bed, eyes squinting when he unlocks it, after padding as quietly as possible out of the bathroom and trying desperately to remember how the furniture is displayed so that he doesn’t end up splitting his knee open in the frame of the bed on his way.

“Lucas?”

Eliott’s sleepy voice makes Lucas startle stupidly and he smiles sheepishly in the ray of light emanating from his phone. “Yeah, I’m here.”

There’s a pause and Eliott motions some more in the bed, rubbing his eye from the heel of his hand. He’s wearing his tee-shirt from yesterday and his black briefs are peeking out from where the comforter is thrown back. “Is it morning already?”

“Nah, I just went to the bathroom. Sorry for waking you up.”

Eliott frowns and nods. “Oh. Right. Aren’t you coming back?”

“I can’t sleep,” Lucas admits. “I’ll probably just toss and turn.”

Eliott props himself up on an elbow. “It’s fine. Come here,” he says, voice still a bit rough from sleep and hair a little messier than usual. “We can watch a movie or something.”

Lucas huffs a chuckle. “Eliott, it’s 2.30 in the morning, go back to sleep.”

“So what, I don’t get to have cuddles at 2.30?”

Lucas stares, taken aback. “Fuck, of course you do,” he says, practically throwing his phone on the nightstand as he hops in the bed, and just like that the room is pitch-black all over again. “Let’s keep the movie for another time though.”

They don’t quite cuddle, not like they were before Lucas got up, and not like they were when they first fell asleep. They’re merely facing each other, Eliott’s arm snaking its way around his waist, gentle and light as they pull him just a tiny bit closer.

“It’s fine,” he says, tracing circles on Lucas’ side. “We can just talk.”                

Lucas slides an arm under his head, looking in the direction of Eliott’s voice, almost as if he could make out his features in the night, were he trying hard enough. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” his boyfriend whispers, and Lucas feels him shrugging slightly. “What’s the first thing you could think about asking me?”

Lucas ponders the question. Objectively there’s still a whole bunch of things he would want to know about Eliott, simply because he wants to know everything there’s to know, but there’s something intimate and unique about being with him like this, his attention undivided. They have nowhere else to be, no one else to bother them, not a single kilometer between them. It’s just them, in this moment, and he feels emboldened enough to ask: “When did you know you had feelings for me?”

There’s a silence, and Eliott’s fingers stop their gentle dance on his side. “It doesn’t really depict me IN a good light,” Eliott admits.

“C’mon on, tell me,” Lucas says, wriggling a tad closer. “I know it was when you were still with Lucille, you told me that already.”

“Alright,” Eliott says. “The exact moment, uh?” Lucas nods, even if Eliott can’t see it. “I was having sex with Lucille.” Another silence. “I thought about you to finish.”

Oh. Well, he can’t say he’s feeling bad, which he’s simultaneously certain is the opposite of the reaction he should be having. Probably because his boyfriend did not mentally cheat on him while they were having sex.

“I told you, it doesn’t really make me the perfect boyfriend after that,” Eliott mumbles.

Lucas shakes his head, mostly for himself, and he reaches out to run his hand up Eliott’s arm. “Actually, I think you’re doing really great so far.”

“So far, uh?” Eliott muses.

“Yes. So far. Your turn.”

Eliott takes a second to think. “Why did you date Jake if you weren’t all that interested in him?”

“It doesn’t really make me a Saint either.”

The fingers are back to grazing his side through the material of his shirt. “I think I’ll handle it. I think I already know, in fact.”

Lucas drops his gaze, uselessly, he knows, but it’s a reflex he can’t help. “I was in love with you,” he admits. “You had gotten back with Lucille. It was, like, the third time it was happening in the short time we had known each other, I just thought there’d never be a place for me in your life.”

It feels strangely liberating to get it off his chest. It’s not the biggest secret of his life, and it’s not his most bitter moment either. But going back to these few months, where Eliott had managed to occupy so much space in his life all the while being still so out of reach, it still makes his heart clench a little on instinct — like the vague memory of a physical pain.

“The tables turned,” Eliott says and Lucas smiles.

“Kind of, yeah.”

Eliott pulls himself closer, and Lucas shifts a little, welcoming his boyfriend’s frame in his arms as Eliott nestles his face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so happy to have you with me,” he whispers.

*