#you saw how he’s willing to go through the stupidest fucking plans as a means to the end

[kilopascals]

okay i’ll just say it. i think in-ho killed jung-bae and not gi-hun because in-ho was BOTHERED gi-hun didn’t pick him to be his partner on a death mission (going to the control room)

[blissfulalchemist]

A Chance for Faith Ch.10

Hello there all! I have another chapter! This is a direct follow up to chapter 7 “Finding You”. This piece was intended to be a few prompts that just all started to fit together into what we have now. So @unleashed111​ and @jedi-mabari​ thank you for your patience and I hope that I could deliver on the prompt requests. 

Word Count: 7k

Warnings: There is a nsfw(ish?) bit near the end of the piece. Alcohol use and minor drug use.

Ao3

The tears that welled up in her jade green eyes cause his heart rate to increase, while the hand that reaches out to him sends him stumbling back a few steps. His back hits the counter, fingers gripping tight to the edge of it, giving a small shake of his head. She frowns, taking another step closer to him. He panics and slaps the money on the counter, it should be enough, mumbling for the attendant to keep the change. Chance’s knuckles burn white gripping the crate as he pushes past the woman, head leaning downward focusing on the bottles. She’s lying, there was no way that was his mom. She’s dead. Long gone.

The slam of the truck door, crate tossed next to him, nails digging into his palm as his hands wrap around the wheel. He’s gasping, chest burning, aching, resting his forehead against the steering wheel. She’s wrong, I’m not her son. I’m not her son, he repeats. His jaw tightens as his hands start to relax enough to grab the first bottle, its cap twisting off with ease. There’s no burn from the vodka as he makes his way through almost a quarter of the bottle. His eyes land on the woman as she works her way through the store, even from this distance he can see that the clothing identifies her as a member that lives on the compound. They are some of the most loyal, the ones that had the most faith, and were guaranteed a spot in New Eden so Joseph wanted to keep them close. Many of those people were from the days at the warehouse in Georgia and the lack of glassy eyes….She’s one of the originals, the ones that had joined somewhere along the road to Hope County. 

Those eyes….something about those eyes….

She says his eyes remind her of her grandmother’s eyes. A good woman and someone she’d have loved to have met Chance had she’d not passed just the year before. I think the jade will darken as he gets older, taking after the man Andi thinks is his father. 

“January twenty-fifth, nineteen ninety-four,” he mumbled, watching as the door opened and the woman moved to the standardized beige truck of the peggies. Chance took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly, “Worst case is that she’s just confused,” Wrong! Worst case is a trap that’ll get you killed. As if it really mattered anymore. There really wasn’t anything more that could make his life worse. “Fuck it,” Chance stepped out of the car, jogging up to catch the woman before she drove off. Her eyes lit up, a smile crossing her features as she met his eyes again. He kept his distance, arms crossed with his back straight, “Look, for all I know you have me confused with someone else.”

She shook her head, “I’m positive that I don’t.”

He suppressed the eye roll, choosing to narrow them, “Either way, I guess it doesn’t hurt to talk to you at the very least.” 

“Really?” She gasped, eyes going wide, “You’re willing to talk to me?”

Chance gave a shrug, “Yeah. Why not.” 

She straightened out her smile only growing, “Well we should talk in a more private setting, so I’ll follow you.”

Chance gave a slow nod, “Right….you follow me,” To some destination I haven’t even thought of. He made it back into the truck, pulling out of the gas station watching through the mirror as she pulled out behind him. Home was out of the question, some random field wasn’t a good idea with how exposed it was, most buildings near here were boarded up and contained who knew what. Leave it to me to not have a plan, he thought as he scanned the road and area ahead of him. Finally a little farther up ahead on his left the baseball field with old fashioned dugouts, There were worse places to have potentially life changing conversations. 

He slowed to a stop the dust billowing around him and the truck pulling up next to him. His hands shook, stomach turning once the car stopped, how he wished this was an after effect of the alcohol. It was now or never though, and he wanted to pick never. The bottle came to his lips once again, he just needed enough to get himself out of the car. This felt like the stupidest idea he had had since coming back here, hell it probably had to be the worst one in his life. If she was his mom, did she really deserve the time of day? Was she going to just make everything right again? She left him behind….

May 29, 1997

Andi Greene has no more chances. She will never see Chance as long as I can help it.

Twice. Maybe more that his father never found necessary to record, either way that was the last time his dad ever spoke of her. 

Glancing over he caught sight of the woman staring straight ahead, Is she feeling the same as I am?, she was going to find out if this was her child and whether it was him or not in the end, there still had to be some kind of guilt there on her end….right? If it was him though….if she was right….

It couldn’t be, Andi Greene was long dead and gone.

Chance took another deep breath and made his way out to the dugouts, the slamming of a car door following him. The shuffling of the rocks beneath them grating his ear drums as Chance picked the home team. He pointed to the seat further in, “You can have that one,” she gave a nod settling herself, Chance grabbing another. He straddled the foldable metal chair, resting his chin on the back of it, mouth going dry. She stared at him, shifting, hands clasping and unclasping, Chance’s leg bouncing. He cleared his throat, readying to-. 

“So I assume you have a lot of questions for me,” she said rapidly, “Just ask anything you want.”

He tilted his head cocking a brow, “Not really other than what your name is,” Probably should have asked that first, could have saved a bit of trouble.

“Oh. Yes. My name is Andrea Greene, but most everyone used to call me Andi,” Okay maybe it was possible, “And you’re still Chance I see.”

He frowned, “Why would I be going by any other name?”

“Dr. Ruicknar,” her jaw clenched, her eyes closing a moment while taking a deep breath, “well he believed that you should have been named Jason. So I just assumed….”

“Don’t think he ever really tried to change it. Knew that Chance was my name, always has been and always will be.”

She gave a thin smile, “Figures.”

He sat up straighter, thumbs tapping on the back of the metal, “Well a name doesn’t prove much of anything. The kind of stuff you just said is almost common knowledge around here.” Okay maybe the whole potential different name thing isn’t.

“You’re right,” she nodded, “Then ask me something that you think only your mom would know.”

I don’t have too. I can just leave. I never needed her before, “When did you leave me?”

She blinked slowly, looking down to her lap, “Of course, there would be no other question that you’d ask first,” her voice softer. “I always hate to admit this, I mean you’d think,” she gave a weak laugh, her smile thin, “that admitting it in one’s confession and getting it marked on your body would make it easier.” His eyes followed her hand as she rubbed the left side of her chest, she swallowed, “I was selfish, the first time I left, and well I’m sure you know of the second time.” She cleared her throat, sitting straighter, “So, forgive me, you’ll have to be a little more specific I’m afraid.” Chance’s palms began to sweat, words catching in his throat, “Unless you want to know about both,” she paused, looking him up and down. She gave curt nod inhaling, “Probably best you know of both of them. Make life easier for you. When you were three months old I left you with Dr. Ruicknar, back in ninety-four. I really wasn’t ready to be a mom and I-,” her voice cracked, taking a moment to right herself, “I wasn’t ready yet to pick you over my bad habits.”

It lined up with the story Chance had known, but it was hard to tell how much of the truth she was telling. She wouldn’t be trying to hold back her emotions like this if she was lying though….?, “What about the second time,” he asked in a whisper.

She sniffed, clearing her throat, nodding her head, “Right, well I didn’t want to leave you, my son.” A pride came to her eyes as she said those words, the smile falling as she looked away, “The second time I was forced to be away from you.” Andi’s eyes glimmered in the light, stray tears escaping them, the pride gone, “You were only three and we were finally starting to connect. Starting to become a family, you and me.”

Ding, Ding! We have a winner ladies and gentlemen, Chance tried his best to mask the shallowness of his breathing, she was right. She was, is, his mom. “So what happened?”

Andi looked out to the field, jaw tight, her breathing long and purposeful before turning back to Chance, “Dr. Ruicknar happened.” He flinched slightly at the venom in her voice, “He decided that I shouldn’t have you,” she rubbed her chest once again, eyes growing darker, “That I shouldn’t be your mother anymore.” That….doesn’t-. It doesn’t feel right, she crossed her arms, “He had no right to do that, just up and moving taking you with him while I was out of the house.”

Chance shook his head, laughing, “No. No. That’s-that’s not what happened.” The world spun a moment Chance standing too quickly from the chair, “Dad-He’d-. No. He was a good man, he’d never do something like that.”

Andi stood, slowly making her way towards him, “He did though,” her face softened, fingers gently pulling his face to meet hers, “Chance, he just wanted you all for himself. Was so desperate to be a father he spun lie after lie.” He wouldn’t, he always saw the best in people, he desperately wanted to cover his ears, tune out her voice, “To the courts, his friends, father, neighbors, everyone. All so he could make sure that I was out of the picture.”

The scar on the back of his neck burned, god he needed another drink, “If he wanted you out of the picture it was for good reason,” It’s all bullshit. Dad wouldn’t have lied, he always went for the truth.

“It’s the truth, Chance,” she looked evenly into his eyes, “Think about the Jessop girl. He planned to take her in, despite the fact that she already had a family.”

“Rachel has nothing to do with this,” Chance growled, stepping back shaking his head, “And even if she did-. No.” He turned away from her, “No, I’m not gonna get wrapped up in your little game or whatever it is you’re doing.” I just need to get out of here, It was stupid to give a woman that abandoned him twice the time of day.

“I’m not playing any games with you, Chance,” she followed after him, “I’m telling you the truth! You deserve to know the kind of man Dr. Ruicknar was.”

“Oh, fuck off! I promise you dad had his reasons,” Andi Greene has no more chances, “He was a good man and you’re lying to me!”

“I’m not,” he jumped inside the truck, as her hand reached into her pocket, “Look!” Andi held up a photo, gripping onto the door, another in her other hand. Chance stopped taking in the weathered photo a thin white line down the center from years of folding and unfolding, the picture showcasing a young woman and small boy. “This is you and me,” her voice cracking, “the day before he took you away from me.” She evened out her breathing as she made sure the photo was always at eye level, “We were happy, Chance. I was only staying with him to get back on my feet so I could give you the life you deserved.” 

His hands shook, snatching the photo from her hand, focusing solely on the people within it. The woman looked to be in her early twenties, her smile big as her arms encircled the young boy. His hair looked to be a mess, curls unable to stay in place, he held out a stuffed dinosaur, the one from the museum not too far from the university campus, the smile lopsided but green eyes lit up with excitement. Chance suppressed the urge to rub the back of his neck, the tingling from the scar getting worse. He can’t recall any sort of memory looking at the picture, just that he remembered sleeping with that dinosaur every night, clinging to it becoming upset when he couldn’t sleep with it one night. Chance can recall the vague memories of trying to sleep, waking in a scare, running to his father still up grading tests, and falling asleep at the table in his lap. 

“Did he ever talk about me, Chance?” Her words brought a lump to his throat, “Or even your grandfather? Either of them?”

“No,” he ground out, hanging his head.

Andi placed a hand on his shoulder, “Now you see why. They shouldn’t have done what they did, separating us like that.” She handed over the second picture, this one more weathered than the last, the color starting to fade, “But we’re together now. We can make up for the lost time.”

This picture was a baby picture one that he fuzzily recalled seeing once before, I can’t-. I can’t think properly, “This-. You have to know that this is a lot to take in.”

She placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away at the few tears falling without his knowledge or permission, “I know. I know it is, but I’ve missed you, my boy. My son.” Her smile….it's hard for him to find anything insincere about it. Her words….truth, mostly, possibly all of it. She takes a deep breath, “My Chance, I’ve missed you so much.” He doesn’t respond, how can he? It’s all too much at once. Chance turns away from her shaking his head, she swallows, nodding away the tears, “I’ve waited this long for you to return to me and I can wait a little longer for you to get your mind wrapped around this.”

This all had to be a lie, a hallucination like the ones Faith’s put me in, Her warm hands against his skin speak otherwise. There’s a comfort in her touch, one he fears, and if he lets himself feel it, embrace it even a little, he’ll just fall right into that comfort never wanting to leave. Maybe I’m already too far gone, all of this too reminiscent of those first encounters with Faith. He kept thinking it was just the drugs, Just like how it has to be the alcohol now, only to soon realize that it was something real. Those shadows of memories of a life he loved and wanted to go back to, back when things still made sense in the world. 

That ache, that never ending ache in his chest seemed to be disappearing now as he stayed letting her hold his hand. Calling him, calling him to seek out that baser comfort of being embraced by one’s caregiver. His chemistry begging, begging, begging for those chemicals tattooed on his hand to be activated within Andi so that he may in turn gain the serotonin lost over the years. That scar burns. Family, some kind of family, some kind of real family. The last of it right here before him.

The story she told, truth to it, yes, something just feeling….off. He rubbed the back of his neck, nails digging into that damn scar, he just needed to tear it off. The familiarity of how she told it….

He needed to go. Too much. Terrible idea. Nothing has been gained from it. Nothing….lies. So many of them still wrapped in some kind of truth. The only other people to bring any kind of perspective on them long gone. 

“I’ve-. I gotta go,” Chance mumbled, pictures in hand, throwing the truck into drive, dust kicking up. Home, just go home, he repeated, the clinking of the bottles keeping time. Liar, liar, liar! She had to be lying. He was a good man, that’s what he remembered. He was a good man that didn’t just do things without good reason. Right? No, that was correct, it's his truth, the one he knows, the one he has to believe….it's the one he’s known his whole life. 

There’s a blare of a horn, Chance swerving to the other side of the road, slamming the brakes. He looks up to the cars passing by, all of them belong to locals, Chance’s teeth grind, knuckles white on the steering wheel. He needs to get home, needs to clear his head, get back to that state of….

One more stop. 

If he’s right about this being a hallucination or his brain playing tricks on him then having some of it won’t do anything to him. It won’t affect him. Hell it probably would help him with making the world, his world, as it should have been. Shouldn’t be too hard to find, just need to go to one of those shrines, they’ll be doing their duty of converting all that they can. Two miles. I’m pretty sure there’s one two miles from here.

He takes a long drink from the vodka, grabbing the handgun from under the passenger seat. The door slams and the two, Wait there’s one in the water, the three peggies look up at him, guns aimed. Come at me, His gun already out, the first shots shaky in their aim but effective to bring the two down, Civilian injured, but just in the arm. The one in the water rushes at him, fumbling for the gun on her back, Lucky me, one shot and a splash. Not even a second look at those he’s just rescued, picking up one of the member’s canteen filling it from the open barrel. Back on the road and home before he knew it….could even process it.

Crate placed on the counter, the bottle from the car halfway filled, Chance pouring in some of the Bliss, the liquid taking on a faint green tint. He gives it a good shake before drinking once more. In a near instant the shaking finally stops, breathing slowed, warmth flooding to his limbs once more. He lets his eyes open, finding the world around him….

clear….

peaceful….

Beautiful.

This is what he needed. This is what was going to help him. He just needed to think and why not just think in a place that was out of reality. “Rest.” He needed that too, Should do that first, he thought as more of the bottle disappeared letting himself fall onto the sofa. Never had it felt softer, more inviting. Singing, distant, clear, words he knew all from her voice. “Where are you,” the whisper echoing in the open expanse of….well where he was. “Faith,” he breathed out, “I need you,” his eyes closed with the feeling of her fingers brushing against his skin. Her voice closer now, lulling him to sleep, “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded.

“We won’t,” she whispered, lips cold as they pressed to his cheek….

“Just rest.”

As quickly as Chance landed in a dreamless sleep the world moved suddenly. Sharply. His head groggy as his eyes struggled to focus, stomach starting to roll. One more drink, he can wake up with another drink. The bottle felt lighter than when he laid down, the sky darker, Didn’t mean to rest that long. A hand stopped the bottle from reaching his lips, his eyes turning slowly to meet her blue-green eyes, a smile spreading on his face. “You’re still here,” he whispered, reaching out for her.

Faith nodded, placing his hand back on the sofa, “I told you I’d come back to check on you.” Her eyes looked to the bottle in his hand solemnly taking it in, her frown only growing, “How are you feeling today?” She swept a hand over his forehead, the curls clinging to the sweat on his brow, “It looks like you spent most of it sleeping.”

He shook his head, “I didn’t sleep,” she didn’t stop him as he moved to take another drink, “I was thinking.”

Faith tilted her head, “Oh? What were you thinking about,” her voice soft, softer than the last time she spoke to him. They fought? Yeah we did. We did and she came back?, “Chance?” 

“Hmm, oh,” his eyes focused back on the room around her, “Her.”

Dark blonde eyebrows knitted together as she stared, “Her, who?”

“Mom.”

She flinched, opening her mouth a second before closing it again. She bit her lower lip, thinking for a moment, looking at her hands folded in her lap. “Your….mom,” he nodded, “Why? Are you wanting to find her?”

Chance shook his head, sitting up, “Don’t need too. She found me.” The world spun slightly, taking another drink to steady it.

“She….found you,” Faith moved to sit on the coffee table.

Chance nodded, “Yep. ya’know I’m sure you’ve met her. She’s been with you all for a long time.” He looked around the room, tints of green pressing through the darkness outside his windows, “Wait.” Faith looked up, fingers still holding her chin, “You think she’ll show up here?”

“At your house?” She asked, raising a brow.

“No, in the Bliss. In that big field you showed me,” he walked to the window by the door, “This house has to be there right? She could come and end up finding me again.”

“That’s-.” She shook her head, moving to stand next to him, “There’s no possibility of that happening,” Faith assured, her hand gently touching his shoulder.

“Your hands,” he placed a hand over hers, “Your touch,” Chance rubbed circles on the top of her wrist, “it’s so warm.” He stared down at it a moment more before he dropped it, walking to the canteen on the counter, testing the weight, “I didn’t take too much did I?”

Faith took the container from him, setting it back down, “No, you didn’t Chance.”

“Then why do you feel so warm? So….,” his fingertips ran down her cheek, neck, and collar bone, the lace scratchy against them, “Real.”

Her eyes searched his face, brow knitting together, “Because I am, Chance. You didn’t take enough to last more than a few hours.” 

He frowned looking at the ground shifting, “Is that why my chest is starting to feel empty again?” Chance rubbed his chest, feeling the raised letters beneath his shirt, looking at Faith through his lashes.

The frown she wore, eyes sympathetic, answered enough for him. “You said you met your mom,” she started, “Is that why you-?”

“Started drinking again,” he finished, scoffing, shaking his head, “No. It all happened just a few hours ago.”

Her eyes widened, “And how did it go?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?” The ache, the edges of the hole he could never close started to burn. That damn scar, all of them, but mostly the one on his neck and spread across his chest itched and burned.

“I-,” her eyes flicked to the hands at his side, one gripping the glass bottle the other balled into a fist, both sporting white knuckles. “I- Well I was just making conversation,” she smiled, her voice lighter, teasing with laughter, “Seems like we never just talk anymore, my White Knight.”

He blinked, locking his gaze with hers for a moment. He gave a quick shrug, “Huh. Guess you’re right.” Chance took another sip, rocking back on his heels, words starting to slur, “Never had much to talk about after a while.”

“Oh,” her smile fell for a fraction of a second, shaking her body out, “Well, there’s been some new developments it seems.” Easy, always easy to talk to, Chance’s smile returns, I can tell her anything.

“Sure,” he finished off the last of the bottle, Faith’s soft smile ever present as she watched him move, eyes turning sad. He grabbed another bottle, opening it quickly, “But she could be….well hmm I don’t think she’s really my mom.” He strode past her reaching for the photos on the coffee table, feet starting to tangle, “I know I’ve seen this one before somewhere,” he held up the baby picture, Faith tilting her head taking it from him. “I just can’t seem to place it yet. There’s just too,” he waved a hand over his head, “Just too much going on in my mind to find it.” 

She flips the photo over, “I see,” squinting her eyes, fuzzy memories she can’t quite reach, play out. A simple handmade shelter in the woods and a manila folder.

Chance holds up the second one, “This one I’ve never seen before,” Faith’s eyes take it in, glancing between his eyes and the one on the small boy’s. It’s him, she’d know his eyes anywhere now. He taps it, “That dino toy though,” he laughs to himself, “I had one just like it.”

Another drink down, Faith starts walking around him, fingertips running along his shoulders, “So who do you think she is?” God, how did she manage to make her voice sound like a song. She takes the second photo placing them on the table once more.

“A trick,” he shrugs, “Maybe I just got stuck in the Bliss and there’s no coming out of it for me.”

She smirks, “Or?”

“Or some trick of your brothers’,” he laughs with a snort, “Probably Sunglasses, wants to get me to join you all.” She tilts her head, “Joseph said it wasn’t too late for me.”

“Are you really considering the offer,” her smile grows, “After all this time? All this protest and resistance, you’d really join the faith?” His eyes follow every movement of hers, contemplating if he should ask for more from her. Her whispered words in his ear brings him back, “Join us in creating a New Eden?”

“I-,” he stops, the questions sinking in. He didn’t believe, would never believe in some higher power, especially one coming from Joseph. That wasn’t the only reason why people joined religions, or why one would stay…., “No. No, I’m not considering it, just trying to think like you do.”

She hums, “You hesitated,” Faith says as she sits on the back of the sofa, ankles crossed, “Normally you never hesitate.”

“This isn’t some therapy session, Faith,” he snaps rolling his eyes, another swig of the bottle following, “No need to look that deep into it.” That woman’s wrong, she’s wrong. Just lying, just a trick.

“Then what would you rather do?” Faith smirks, the concern growing in her eyes, “Anything you want.”

He moves closer grabbing her hand, still warm, chest starting to feel hollow while the rest of him feels some kind of electricity. Why did they ever start this? Why did he ever start to let himself fall for someone that could also be a dream at any given moment? There was never a real good way to tell the difference anymore, was there? How many times did he find himself here with her like this? 

He set the bottle down letting his now free hand run along her jawline and neck slowly, pausing where he could feel her pulse the best. He lets go of her hand placing it on her waist, feeling as her heartbeat increases.

“Real or not real,” he whispers, Please say-.

She takes hold of the hand resting along her collarbone bringing it to her cheek. smiling, “Real.” His breath catches, the pleas he had for her once it looked like neither were going to come back to the other, held back. She frowns, pushing some of his hair back, “Do you feel unreal, Chance? Or like none of this is real?”

He cast his eyes down, Can’t ever hide my thoughts from you, “I wonder sometimes,” the hand on her waist running farther along the curve of her, “Maybe this place is just some kind of afterlife.” He sighs, eyes slow to meet hers once again, “I just couldn’t take it anymore one day. Or they finally got me,” he’s spinning, falling, the longer he stares into her eyes, “But I just-Faith I don’t feel like myself anymore. I never do-.”

“Until that bottle is gone,” she finishes softly, Chance giving a small nod, shutting back the tears threatening to fall and close his throat. “Chance,” he opened his eyes to her sympathetic face, “What would happen if you felt like yourself again? Even just for a little bit.”

“Could think through everything,” he whispers, “The whole world….I can make sense of it all.”

“You think you’d have the answers you need,” she guided him closer to her, “The ones you want.” Chance nodded, resting his forehead against hers. If she was real then he needed to have this moment with her. Just needed to have her, the real her, the one that didn’t get angry when he’d refer to her as Rachel every now and again. Faith nodded, “Then how can I-?”

“Touch me,” his response was fast, Faith blinking in surprise. He took a deep breath, the smell of her flowers with undertones of fresh rain giving him comfort. This had to be the real her, had to be, “Just-. I need to feel….,” Real, alive, close, comfort, you, “Feel something other than….”

His words trailed off, Faith giving him a moment before finishing his thought, “Other than the confusion and pain?” He stayed silent, she nodded in understanding, “Is this what you need to help you,” her fingers started to play with the edge of his jeans, the bare skin she touched warming beneath it, She missed me too, didn’t she? 

He tilted her chin to take in her face, “It would be a start I think.” There just above her eyebrow, the faint scar from those early days of the reaping, Been awhile since I’ve seen that on her, “But only if you’re really here, really you.”

She frowned, eyes misting, “Of course it's me, Chance,” she pleaded, “I told you last night that I’d come back to check on you.”

He brushed a thumb over the scar, “Tell me how you got this then.”

She tilted her head, cocking a brow, before exhaling slowly, “I got it because you,” she poked his chest, “got a grenade thrown at me.” She gave a small smile at the memory passing through the two of them, “I still don’t forgive you for threatening to cut my hair that day.”

Chance couldn’t help but chuckle, “I was really looking forward to adding Hairstylist next to sacrificial lamb on my resume.” She laughed, the melody one he could never forget, Real. This is real, “Besides I saved your life that day.”

“Again, only after you put me in danger in the first place.” Her fingers traced along the muscle and bone of his hips, “It was also when you pointed out the obvious point I had been ignoring.” His mind wadded through the memories, the feelings vague, muted by the liquor taking hold of him, “I tried, well try, to ignore the fact that I’m so easily replaceable.”

“Oh,” he looks to his feet, “I’m still sorry. It was a low blow.”

Faith shook her head, “You were right though.” Her eyes grew distant, hands stopping along his hips, “I used to think she was meant to replace me, you know.”

It took a moment for the name to come up, or well the name Faith knew her by, “Mary? Your sister?”

She nodded, eyes cast down, “Some days I wish I could have been more genuine in my kindness rather than keeping her close to keep her from replacing me. Or at least had more time to be genuine,” her voice cracks, “She always was to me.” 

Chance ran his thumb along her cheek catching the few falling tears, “It weighs on you,” he started softly, “Those feelings of not being able to say goodbye, to make sure that the person knows how you feel about them,” Even if they are still alive. 

She pulled him closer, face pressed into his chest, “You won’t just leave without letting me have a goodbye, right?”

I can try, his eyes glanced down to the bottle at his feet, I want a little more. Need a little more. “Not if I can help it. Even if,” he looked up at the ceiling, letting out a sigh, “Can’t believe I’m saying this, but even if ghosts and the afterlife turn out to be real, I’ll make sure you can have a nice goodbye.”

Her eyes widened at the admission, “Must really care about me to make that kind of promise.”

Chance looked back into her eyes, mind slipping into the blue of them easily, pushing some of her hair back, “I-. Rach-.” He took a breath to steady himself, her grip on him making it harder to grab for the bottle, “Faith I love you.” 

Faith doesn’t say anything, eyes searching his face, his heart falling with each beat of his heart. Say something….anything. Say it back, the lump forming in his throat. 

This was a mistake. He shakes his head, “Look jus-just forget it. Forget I said anything.” He turned away, cheeks starting to burn, stomach turning as he grabbed the bottle stepping away from her. 

She grabs onto his hand, “Chance wait.” She jumped down walking closer to him, arms wrapping around him, kissing his cheek, “I know you do.”

“Do you just not feel the same?” His whispered voice hesitating with each syllable, “That why you won’t say it back?”

“Chance,” Faith closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, “I’d rather hear those words come from a sober mouth,” she laced her fingers with his, “You’re not the only one that has trouble distinguishing dreams from reality.”

He looked over his shoulder, the windows still grasping onto that green fog, “What do we do then, if neither of us can trust in what we see and hear? If we feel we can’t even trust the validity of our feelings?”

“Exist.” 

“In this moment,” she smiled, taking the bottle from him, “We meet in the middle.” She took a long drink, nose wrinkling from the burn, “Or well I meet you there, and then we just exist in the other’s presence.”

He blinked, eyes wide, “You’d stay the whole night?”

She smiled, giving a small nod, “Just like I used too.”

“The nights where we just laid in bed-.”

“And talked, with my skin pressed to yours-.”

“Until the whole world was just you and me-.”

“The orange of the sun dispelling the barriers we’d set up-.”

“Our call to return to a world where-.”

 “Neither of us really belong anymore.”

 She brushed some of his hair back, unable to break free of his green eyes, his hands resting on her hips, breathing even once again. He was the first to move, guiding them to the bedroom, pulling the zipper of her dress down once in the doorway of his room. Faith let it fall, pulling his shirt over his head. Chance quick in removing the rest of his clothing as she followed his lead, sliding under the covers with ease. 

Maybe it was the time they had spent apart or the feeling of being unreal that changed their thought process. They were only meant to lie there feeling the other close to them, not having their lips crash together, hands tangling in each other’s hair, and their hearts starting to race. He pulled her leg around him making sure it was secured around his hip before moving his lips down her jaw and neck. She let out a small gasp as he started to kiss across her chest.

Her fingers grasp at his hair, pulling his lips back to hers as he lays her on her back. She rolls her hips to meet his gaining whatever friction she can, Chance moaning into their kiss, hands gliding down her body. Fingertips trace the scarred sin before running up her body once again, pulling one of her arms away from him, lacing their fingers together, holding it down on the bed. She gives the lightest of pushes on his shoulders, Chance following her thoughts kissing down her body once more. 

His lips and tongue trace every outline of her, her breathy moans filling the room. The heat radiating off of her only grows the closer he gets to her core. She doesn’t force him back up, doesn’t stop him from starting his act of worship between her thighs. She lets him watch as her back arches, the way her chest moves as her breathing deepens, listening to his name leave her lips as her fingers tangle farther in his curls. This. This is real. This is the woman he’d been letting himself fall for. Not the one who’s been coming to visit almost every night with her song that commands his actions. 

There’s little time to recover when she pulls him back to her lips, the taste of her still lingering. He’s starting to strain, desperate to be connected to her when she pulls away, foreheads still resting against each other. There’s a moment where both catch their breath, Faith whispering, “I want you….,” her fingers running down the nape of his neck. 

“I need you,” they say together. 

“All of you,” he continues, “Every part of you.” His eyes travel down her body, every scar, curve, flaw traced and memorized, “For as long as I can have you.”

She traces a fire along his chest, letting out a ragged breath rolling her hips, “Let’s start with now,” she whispers, their bodies interlocking with ease. Easy, right, perfectly made for the other. How it all seems so obvious as their hearts beat in perfect rhythm, the slow and purposeful movements eliciting a duet of moans, sighs, and gasps. It's no longer a rage of fire and heat, not like it ever was, it’s slow and calming, always there. 

Equal as Faith easily takes the lead, pushing him onto his back, Chance moaning out her name. His head falls back with a low groan as she starts to move her hips in a circle, nails gripping onto his chest. His hands fall and rise with the curves and dips of her torso, hips bucking to meet her movements. She increases the pace of their movements, Chance gripping onto her hips, both on the precipice of ecstasy, time slowing down around them.

Then all at once the pleasure hits them, engulfs them, their lips crashing together as they ride it out. The high lasting longer than it had before made the two of them work to catch their breaths. They smile, Chance giving a small chuckle giving one more soft kiss every little detail and sensation heightened and solid. They were both here, they both existed at this moment.

They were both alive.

It took a moment for the two to fall into place on the bed, silent as they adapted once more to just feeling the other’s warmth once again. Faith’s fingers traced the scars littering his body, mind searching for something to start with. “You know, I got a glare from John after that day, you know.” 

“What day?” He asked, noticing how she shivered feeling the way Chance’s fingers traced patterns lightly on her skin.

Faith laughed quietly, “The day you first brought me here.” 

“Ah,” he kissed the top of her head, “Why did Fashion Week glare at you?”

Faith smirked, pulling him closer, “I couldn’t stop thinking about how you called him Karen.” He gave a snort holding back his laughter, “I’m serious. The way you said it,” she gave a small shake of her head rolling her eyes, “There was just something funny about it and it kept playing out in my mind during our meeting. He said something that I think was vaguely insulting and the name slipped out when I tried to call him out on it.”

Chance laughed, burying his face in her hair, “Of course he would have to act like a Karen after I graced him with that name.” He looked up to the ceiling, hand moving over the curve of her hip, “I would have loved to see his face as you said it.”

“Maybe someday you’ll be able to,” she looked up, resting her chin on his chest, “once all of this-,” the smile she had starting to fade.

Chance nodded slowly, moving on his side their faces close, “Once all of this is over,” If it ever will be. His lips brushed against hers briefly before placing a light kiss on them, “My day to see Gossip Gabby really appreciate my humor will come. Even if I have to make it so.”

She giggled, “Do you have these nicknames written down so you can just pick from a list?”

Chance placed a hand on her cheek, bringing her lips to his in a deep kiss, forehead pressed to Faith’s when he pulled away. “You’ll never know, Princess.”

[holylulusworld]

Ms. Bodyguard – The black dress

Summary: Jensen is used to be the hero on his show. He’s not a coward, not at all - but when he gets attacked by an unknown man the studio insists on a full-time bodyguard. Specialist in protecting people while living with them - you agree to protect Jensen but he doesn’t like the fact a ‘small’ girl shall protect him. Will you be able to protect the unwilling actor?

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Bodyguard!Reader

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Misha Collins, Clif Kosterman, ‘the shadow’

Warnings: angst, blood, slow-burn, attempted murder, comforting, injured reader, threats, a hint of making-out, tension, pining

A/N: Guardian angel is the readers codename. Sweetheart is Jensen’s.

A/N2: Please read the codewords or this chapter will be difficult to understand. 

Codewords in this chapter:

Ares – drop everything and run

Zeus – attacker sighted

Athena – backup needed

Nemesis – attacker down

Asclepius – Guardian angel down/hit

Ms. Bodyguard Masterlist

Sleep didn’t come last night. While you tried anything to find a lead to ‘the shadows’ whereabouts and how he could survive your attack, Jensen always stayed close to you.

The tension thick enough to make being close to your client uncomfortable you shift in the armchair. All you want is to protect him, take your former lover down without getting involved with Jensen.

You know the way he looks at you too well. There is no denying he’s attracted to you and this will make things more complicated if the attacker tries to make a move.

“Jensen, it’s a no go.” Breaking the awkward silence you meet Jensen’s eyes. “I know how you feel. When something like that happens to people, they tend to fall for their bodyguards. It’s not going to happen, sweetheart.”

Jensen nods silently but he gives you a smirk. “Did you find anything about your former partner? Did your friend of a friend find any information?”

He tries to change the topic, but you don’t call him out, not today. “Nothing so far, Jensen but I got an idea. It’s not without a risk but I know how to lure the shadow out.”

“Shoot me, Terminator.” Jensen sips at his coffee, looking expectantly at you. “If we get hold of that monster, I am all in.”

“This weekend, the party, you should attend it with me by your side. He needs to see me and you together, Jensen. I know he’ll not be able to resist and attack you. The shadow is a sneaky bastard but, and that is the good news, he’s predictable.” Nervously playing with your mug you look at Jensen, waiting for his decision. 

“Means you want to go to the party, show him your sexy ass and lure him into a trap. So, am I the bait or you?” Smirking you get up to pat Jensen’s shoulder.

“Me…crap…” You can hear the edge in Jensen’s voice, knowing he doesn’t show he’s scared. “Fine. What will I have to do?”

“Come with me, stay by my side, and do as I say oh…” Smirking you squeeze Jensen’s shoulder. “…and look pretty.”

“If you wear a nice dress, I am all in, Terminator.” Grinning Jensen looks at you. “I’d let you push me in the line of fire anytime.”

“Jensen, this is not funny. If he’s there, he’ll try to kill you and me. I don’t know if he will go after me and ignores you but, as I know that bastard, he’ll enjoy hurting you to hurt me.” Swallowing thickly Jensen looks up at you. “Do you still want to risk it?” 

“You told me the only way to get hold of the shadow is to lure him out. The party is the perfect opportunity. 

If we do not stop, he could hurt other people, innocent people like the girl. I am not Dean Winchester, but he’s a part of my life for that long, I know he would be disappointed if I let you down.”

“You know, that was the stupidest thing you ever said, sweetheart. Forget about your role, tell me if you are willing to risk getting hurt, Jensen. It’s only me and you in this room. No one will judge you.” Jensen takes a deep breath, recalling the words the man whispered into his ear.

“I am all in, Y/N. We will do this and bring him down. We got a lot of work to do…” Snickering you take his hand in yours squeezing it tightly. “…and I want a kiss after we got him.”

Walking down the stairs you can’t help but smile at Jensen. He’s wearing a suit and bowtie. Smirking at you he holds out his hand. “You look stunning, Y/N. I mean, not that you do not look great in combat boots and a skirt but…damn, sweetheart…”

“Don’t flatter me, Ackles. Underneath that black dress, I am hiding a gun and a nice knife.” Smirking you admire his outfit and the way his green eyes sparklewhen he ogles you shamelessly. “You look great too. Does the vest sit tight enough?”

“Bulletproof and stab-proof, awesome.” Jensen gives you a wink, hiding he’s nervous as hell. “Ready?”

“One last time. You will stay by my side the whole evening when I tell you, Ares, you will haul your ass out of the danger zone and stay with Clif. Do not try to play hero or crap.” Nodding Jensen recalls your instructions.

 “Ares got it. I stay with Clif and try to not get killed.” Humming you straighten his bowtie, not missing the way his breathing quickens. “I’ll do as you say.”

“Nice party.” Looking around the crowded room you check on your earpiece again. “Clif can you hear me?”

“Roger, Guardian angel. The cameras cover most of the room and the backstage area. I’ll stay here with Scott and tell you if I see anyone suspicious. The security team doesn’t know about the reason they have to double-check the invitations.” Clif replies.

“Good. We can’t trust anyone, Clif. I’ll stay with Jensen; you will keep an eye from above. No one gets hurt during my watch.” Jensen slings one arm around your waist, a smirk on his lips.

“Got to make it look natural.” Husking the words, he dips his head to press a soft kiss to your neck. “There we go, Y/N. Smile for the cameras.”

“I hate you, Ackles.” Gritting your teeth you fake a smile when his hand caresses the small of your back. He’s gently touching you and a shiver runs down your spine. “Did you see anyone not belonging here?”

“I got no clue, Y/N. Most of the people are from the team. Cast, crew, the rest are caterers and special guests.” Humming you turn around to check the other side of the room. “Did someone ever tell you that you are beautiful.”

“Gosh, Ackles. Stop charming me right now. You’ll get your kiss if we survive this night.” Eyes darken Jensen moves closer to you to slide his fingers along your spine. “Jensen…”

“Just play along, Y/N.” He’s bringing you in his arms, hiding his face in your neck. “There is a guy, opposite us, hiding in the shadows. I don’t know if I saw wrong, but he clenched his jaw anytime I touched you.”

“Can you describe him, sweetheart?” Heart pounding in your chest you slide your hand over your garter belt. “Anything?”

“Tall, around my size. Dark hair, muscular like me, maybe a bit more muscles. Wears a suit but, his shoes are dusty.” Humming you take deep breaths. 

“Clif, opposite my position. A guy in a suit, dark hair, muscular, dirty shoes. He looks at me and Jensen. Let Scott check the cameras…”

“Got it…” While you wait for Scott to check on the man you slide your fingers through Jensen’s hair, gently playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Y/N, Scott says he belongs to the security team. They told him to check the room. I guess they recognized something is going on.”

“Fuck…got it, Clif. Stay alerted. I know he’s here…I can feel it…” Jensen becomes bold. Close to getting attacked again or worse, he cups your face, glancing at your lips. 

“Fuck it…” His lips claim yours and for a moment, you kiss him back, opening your mouth to let his tongue slip in. “Now I can die as a happy man,” Jensen smirks and you are too stunned to respond.

“You know, that breaks one of my…” Looking over Jensen’s shoulder your freeze. “Clif, Zeus. You have to come here. Leave the cameras to Scott. He’s here…”

“We will have to go to the backstage area. When we do it, we’ll do it quickly. You’ll meet up with Clif at the restrooms. The shadow will follow us, so…be careful.” Grabbing Jensen’s jacket, you press a soft kiss to his lips. “Just for show, sweetheart.”

Jensen grins like the cat that got the cream when you let him wrap his arm around your waist. “Game on, baby. I bet he believed we want to do naughty things backstage…”

“Dream on, Ackles. Now, concentration. Clif, go…”

It happens in a matter of seconds. Clif never made it to the backstage area he’s unconscious, just like Scott.

“Hello, Y/N. Long time no see…” The shadow smirks, not missing the way you block his path. “I don’t want to hurt your little toyboy, but you have to admit it was the perfect plan to lure you out.”

“Not that great, Eric. I figured it out within two days, psycho.” Voice laced with venom you pray Clif and Scott are still alive. “Athena, I could need your help.”

“Your little friends Scott and Clif won’t help you, baby girl. Why don’t you handcuff your new toy to the heater, and we can talk like adults?” Eric grins wickedly, glancing at Jensen who looks angrier than you.

“I am not a toyboy, asshat!” Jensen grits out and you roll your eyes at his alpha behavior. 

“Cute, really. I mean do you have the slightest idea who am I or who she is? Do you know what she did for us? I bet you would not sleep well knowing she was a very bad girl.” Eric snickers.

“I bet, not as bad as you, asshole. Killing little girls – huh? Such a strong man, very masculine and heroic, son of a bitch.” Falling into his role Jensen grunts behind you. 

“Tame your little toy, Y/N. I guess he wants the guardian angel to lose another client. What did happen to Thomas? Was it a car accident?” Eyes darken you slide your hand over your thigh. “Nice bomb, wasn’t it?”

“You? It was you?” The realization hits you like a freight train. “All of them? You killed them, the whole family to pay me back?”

“You see, I hate that scar. It ruins my wonderful body.” Eric shrugs, now aiming his gun at you. “You missed my heart, baby. Only a bit to the left and you would’ve killed me but, the knife you left inside my chest stopped the bleeding.”

“Then I’ll do it right this time.” Smirking you block his sight at Jensen.

“I will end him fast but with you.” Eric dips his head, glancing at Jensen. “But with you...I’ll take my sweet time, maybe fuck you one last time? Good old times and all.”

“I don’t think so, Athena…ready?” 

“Stop calling your client's name. He won’t…” The sound of your backup’s voice let Eric’s eyes widen. 

“Got it, boss…” A voice replies to your order.

Aimless he fires his gun toward you and Jensen to take at least one of you down.

In the blink of an eye, you push Jensen down, roll over to get your gun out, firing the whole magazine into Eric’s chest. 

“Didn’t mean him, asshole…fuck… Nemesis…“ Panting you press one hand to your side, feeling the blood seeping out of your wound you fall to your knees.

“Asclepius, I…” 

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx​​​​

@screechingartisancashbailiff​​​​

@fallen-wolf22​​​​

@sister-winchesters99​​​​

@mogaruke​​​​

@the-is13​​​​

@helloitsmeamie203​​​​

@sandlee44​​​​

@strayrosesbloom​​​​

@notyourtypicalrose​​​​

@thewinchesterco​​​​

@marvelfansworld​​​​

@hobby27​​​​

@gh0stgurl​​​​

@flamencodiva​​​​

@jay-and-dean​​​​

@voltage-my2dlove​​​​

@spnhollis​​​​

@chonisberonica​​​​

@wittysunflower​​​​

@supernaturalenchanted​​​​

@shikshinkwon​​​​

@yolobloggers​​​​

@hhiggs​​​​

@laxe-from-outer-space​​​​

@ilovefanfic86​​​​

@linki-locks11​​​​

@eggingamazinglove​​​​

@trumpettay​​​​

@fandom-imagines1​​​​

@thenamelesschibi​​

@waywardbaby​​​​

@straycuties9​​​​

@drakelover78​​​​

@stuckys-whore​​​​

@zxph-yr​​​​

@i-love-superhero​​​​

@nepeta-leijon1618​​​​​

@deepmuffinspymaker​​​​

@katsav17​​​​

@heyitscam99​​​​

@fandom-princess-forevermore​​​​

@neii3n​​​​

@exo-nova​​​​

@cocklesbelli​​​​

@echoesofpassion​​​​

@shatteredabby​​​​

@deanmonandnegansbitch​​​​

@sea040561​​​​

@lemondropirwin​​​​

@lonewolf471​​​​

@wronglanemendes​​​​

@juniorhuntersam​​​​

@helpmeluci​​​​

@goodgodimaweirdperson​​​​

@shadowkat-83​​​​

@alltimesamantha​​​​

@officialmarvelwhore​​​​

@meganywinchester​

@miraclesoflove​​​​

@maniacproffesor​​​​

@hollymac79​​​​

@kayla-2000​​​​

@gracefultrenchcoat494​​​​

@babygirls-fav​​​​

@spnwoman​​​​

@amiquette​​​​

@stormchasingchick32​​​​

@geekofmanyforms​​​​

@jessica-marsh09​​​​

@spnficgirl​​​​

@shut-themoonscone​​​​

@thequeenreaders​​​​

@countrygal17a​​​​

@atomicfandombomb​​​​

@kteelou​​​​

@soryuwifeyxx​​​​

@defenderrosetyler​​​​

@shortwinchester​​​​

@maybesomedaygayyyy​​​​

@octobereids​​​​

@sabascio​​​​

@that-place-called-middle-earth​​​​

@the-broken-angel-13​

@bunnybaby89​​​​

@pandabiiissh​​​​

@maddiedott​​​​​

@lilulo-12​​​​

@theoneandonlymelol​​​​​

@mblaqgi​​​​​

@clawsandshotguns​​

@justsomedreaming​​​​​

@cassiopeia-barrow​​​​​

@its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters​

@mscarter213​​​​​

@jo-like-josette​​​​​

@mep6811​​​​​

@prettydeaneyes​​​​​

@rvgrsbrns​​​​​

@deanwanddamons​​​​​

@tearsforhan​​​​​

@waywardbabie​​

@certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​

@belovedcherry​​​​​

@amandamdiehl​​​​​

@emaanjffri​​​​​

@sycochick​​​​​

@nickyrose3123

@abeautifuldiaster124​​​​

@matsumama​​​​

@rynabarnesrogers-reading���​​

@homeorbust​​​

@emoryhemsworth​​​

@lunaticgurly​​​

@sofiiamdeansgirl

@xxlikeheavenxx​​

@spnbaby-67​​

--------------------------------------

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

@spnfamily-j2​​​​

@supernatural-bellawinchester​​​​

@negans-lucille-tblr​​​​

@deans-baby-momma​​​​

@thefaithfulwriter​​​​

@squirrelnotsam​​​​

@roonyxx​​​​

@underthewrap​​

@deansgirl-1968​​​​

@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​​​​

@butifulsoul125​​​​

@lyinginthegingerlocks​​​​​

@neen-illustrates​​​​

@janicho88​​​​

@woodworthti666​​​​​

@thevelvetseries​​​​

@dreaminemz​​​​​

@akshi8278​​​​

@midnightsilver16830​​​​

@mrspeacem1nusone​​​​

@ria132love​​​​

@caligraphee​​​​

@the-witch-in-silence​​​​

@justanotherwinchester​​​​​

@multisuperfandom​​​​

@jason-todd-squad​​​​​

@jadesupernatural​​​​​

@psychicforest​​​​​

@luciathewinchestergirl​​​​​

@magssteenkamp​​​​​

@palefiregiver​

@tranquility-or-chaos​​​​

@jxackles​​​​

@michellemxndes​​​​​

@addictedtofictionalcharacters​​​​​

@gabifernandessn​​​​​

 @waywardrose13​​​​

@team-free-will-you-idjiot​​​​​​

@myopiamystical​​​​

@rintheemolion​​​

@isthatabutterfly​

@bluecornflowers​​​​

@rosalynshields​​​​

A/N: If your name is crossed out Tumblr won’t let me tag you.

-----------------

Ms. Bodyguard Tags

@healojane​​​​, @bitchwhytho​​​​, @marvelouslysherlockedhunter​​​​, @mimzy1994​​​​, @couldabeenamermaid​​​​, @abbessolute​​​​, @vicmc624​​​​, @fantasydevil2002​​​, @bobbie3939​​, @mamooska8​​, @winchestergirl82​​, @winchester-wifey​​

[honestsycrets]

Hard Sell II: Mother’s Approval

❛ pairing | ivar x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | he’s too shy to say anything.

❛  warnings | verbal argument, crazy family, 4B ivar is my favourite ivar

He sits by that rock looking out at the pier. As he reclines there, watching the waves pull and push onto the pier, Aslaug watches him too. There’s something on his mind, she knows, a mother always knows her son’s needs. She stops by the rock, the back of her hand brushing his prominent cheek bones, and waits.

“Ivar…” 

He grunts, turning up from the waters, and regards her softly. “Mother.” 

“There are no raiders leaving.” She notices. 

“Mm.” He nods, turns his eye back, and she suddenly realizes what it is that he’s looking at. There, in the waters, his best friend pokes at the water with a long pole. She strikes, then fails, and the man beside her roars in laughter, getting a kick of heavy water toward him. 

She mentions your name, “I see now.” Her foxish face pulls together, amused. “And the boy?”

“Cousin,” Ivar answers, settling his chin back on his forearm. “So he said.” 

“She won’t marry her cousin, Ivar.” She settles beside him. The strange thing of his mother, as he always thought, was her infatuation with him above all his sons. The only one who truly and really loved him. Maybe then-- she was something protective of that role. 

“Maybe not,” he grunts.

“Yet still no husband,” her voice pulls, amused. He hates it when she does that. Pointing out something that he knows, and could do something about, but hates all the same. He lowers his head down, barely peering over the leathery gloves. 

“No, no husband.” Ivar agrees. 

“Any reason why?” 

Ivar’s fingers flicker. A growing annoyance-- because despite that chat the other day, nothing had changed. He saw you pick up your skirts, clinging to the form of your legs, and move onto sandy land. He also saw the confidence in which you carried yourself when you knew others were watching. You liked the eyes. His eyes, especially.

Something had to be there. You wink in his direction. It’s for him, he knows that now, and yet…  You turn to place your hand back in the binding that the healer had given you to keep it taut against your chest. You’re an awful person to take care of. Always disobeying orders despite the break. 

“Ivar!” You shout out to him, rushing to his rock, when you stop. It’s as if you’ve noticed something is astray. Or rather, someone. 

“Aslaug,” you bow your head to her. Aslaug’s features soften, grasping Ivar’s arm. There it was, that display of dominance, and Ivar knows that this is the precise reason why you hadn’t done more to chase him. Ragnar didn’t love his mother like Lagertha. Every fool knew that. The way he… he cringes, turns his head away, finds his mother’s eyes. 

“Any luck in the waters?” she asks, minding the fishing stick in your hand. You flip the pole in your hand, lowering the prod down to her as your cousin throws a wet sack over his back. “‘fraid not. Einir over here scared the fish away,” you accuse. 

Did not, Einir scoffs, blowing out a small tuft of air. “She’s just a shit fisherwoman. Does better watchin’ than she do catchin’” he motions, pausing when Ivar’s eyes catch his, hot and hard. Almost as if to ask him to say that again, no really, say that again. “But-” he punches your arm playfully. “We’ve gotta get to the longhouse. Got some fish for dinner myself. Uncle’s waiting, huh?” 

“You should come,” you gesture to Ivar, then pause. Aslaug-- she’d certainly wouldn’t complain if Ivar went, but you keep in mind that Ivar is her lifeforce to Midgard. “You too, Queen Aslaug. Father makes a good roasted fish.” 

“Perhaps.” 

That’s not awkward. You excuse yourself, punching Einir with your one good hand, even if its still holding the fishing pole. Fuck you, he makes out. Aslaug’s eye follows you until you disappear, then her arm snaps free of him, running instead through his hair. 

“Do you want to go?” she asks. 

Ivar, gazing back at her, nods. And they go together. 

Your family works hard. So it only makes sense that they play hard, booze hard, laugh hard. Aslaug is familiar with this sort of company, but at the same time, she isn’t. They drink over one’s lap, husbands and wives drink of one horn, brothers brawl in the longhouse over the stupidest shit-- there’s your brother now, thrusting Einir across the floor and into the bench like beds that lined the walls.

“Do they always fight like that?” she asks.

You inhale, picking at the roasted fish, regretting all your life choices in that instant. “More or less. Einir calls Eyr something, Eyr calls Einir something, right Ivar?” 

“You do the same thing.” 

“I do not! I haven’t called them names.” You cut him off quick, tapping Ivar’s prominent forehead. Somewhere along the line, Ivar’s head had met your lap. Aslaug found this unsavoury. If only because she’d never seen him like this before, but the way he smiled, pure and wide, was something that she couldn’t fight about. “...today.”

“Tch,” Ivar clicks his tongue. “Continue to delude yourself.” 

“Asshole,” you tell him, like its just you and him. But his mother is there, lips churning into a frown, obviously wise to your words. She leans on the edge of the chair.

“So,” she says, setting her own empty plate aside, and balancing the ale in her fingers. “Ivar says you’re uncalled for.” 

“Uncalled for?” 

“Mother.” 

“You’re unmarried,” behind her, the rustling of Einir and Eyr comes to a complete stop. As does the loud, booming festivities of the evening. Instead they cue into her words. “Surely you aren’t going to remain unmarried. Do you have plans?” 

By the gods, Ivar sits up. The safety net of having Ivar there has gone, and in its place, your hands run together with uncertainty. “I hadn’t thought of it. Spend all my time at home or with him.” 

“You should.” She says. “There are plenty eligible men in Kattegat of your class.”

Of your class-- your eyes bulge, and so do Ivar’s.

“What does that mean?” Einir stands upright, though with a stagger, given the welt above his eyebrow swelling out. Blood trickles into his lashes. “Ya don’t think she could marry up?” 

You gesture your cousin to calm himself, but he’s a farmer’s man, with a raging temper. He’s been busy knocking down timber for trade all night. He’s willing and ready to go, and you sense as much off the way he sets one of those fat palms on your shoulder, standing like a wall of offended muscle. 

“Why my girl could marry a goði,” your father chimes in with a slur, and you squeeze your brow, “Father please.” 

There’s no real stopping your father, nor your brother, nor your cousin when they started. “In fact! Just look’it ol’Ivar!” 

He freezes, staring up like a deer caught in the hunter’s grasp, begging with the old man not to say something. Then, knowing he would, his fear turned to abject anger, his broad nose squeezing tight. 

“She’s gottim wrapped around her li’l finger.” He shoves his wife’s shoulder, roaring in a laughter that is almost mocking. “A prince righ’? A prince.” 

Aslaug isn’t fazed. Rather she searches you for a reaction. How would you handle this? Ivar’s face was hot and red, swelling up like the surge before the hurricane at sea. Your hand shoots out, cupping over his. Fingers lace up, drawing his attention from the momentary need to lash out, and replacing it with a soothing calm. 

“I’m sure she could.” 

You release tightly held air.

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Since when have you been sorry?” Ivar asks, settled over his rock with his hood drawn up over his shaggy hair.

“Since, uh, now?” you come to sit beside him on the rock, pulling up your dress. His eyes catch the unprotected skin, cementing it to his memory, and he knows he’s in trouble then. His eyes tear away. “No difference. He was right.” 

“About what?” 

The cool air rushes by, reminding him of his mother’s words: Still no husband? And yet, you could have one, if Frigg willed it. His throat has clammed up on him, dry like a rock. “You have me around your finger.” 

It’s ridiculous. 

“You can’t be serious. He was drunk Ivar. He didn’t mean that--” 

He could. He would. And he is. 

“...I do.” His voice quakes, like he’s too shy to actually say it, that I want you-- that I like you-- maybe love you. He’s not sure of it and yet he’s never been more sure of anything else before. He only knows that it feels right when you gaze at him through the crowd, seek him out like a morsel of food among a plate. 

He’s sure, more than ever, that this is what he needed.

“Well, I… of course.” You say, your head connecting with his shoulder, breathing in the scent, then exhaling. “You’re my best friend.” 

If he died without hearing those words again, he’d be a lucky man. 

“...of course.” 

@tephi101 @alicedopey @supernaturalvikingwhore @tootie-fruity @titty-teetee @queen-see-ya-in-valhalla @ethereallysimple @deathbyarabbit @deathbyarabbit @readsalot73 @natalie-rdr @lol-haha-joke @lisinfleur @hissouthernprincess @marvelousse @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol @vikingsmania @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @lif3snotouttogetyou @gruffle1 @cris101071 @gold-dragon-slayer @babypink224221 @wonderwoman292 @naaladareia @beyond-the-ashes @generic-fangirl @chinduda @laketaj24, @peaceisadirtyword, @ly–canthrope @cris101071 @daughterofthenight117 @unassumingviking @ladyofsoa, @inforapound @winchesterwife27 @feyrearcheron44@readsalot73 @squirrelacorngliterfarts @gold-dragon-slayer @medievalfangirl @sallydelys  @bluearchersstuff @affectionrabbitt @whatamood13 @notyouraveragegirl17 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @unacceptabletatertots @ivarandersen @stra-vage @tgrrose @cookies186 @learninglemni-blog @theleeshanotlouise @soiproclaim @msmorganforever @beyond-the-ashes @supernaturalvikingwhore @mblaqgi @wuxiesalt @hopplessdreamer @therealcalicali @rekdreams-fandom @moondustmemories @athroatfullofglass @poisonedjoinery @strangunddurm @shookforyoojung​ @peachesnpisces @tierneygonzalez @hexqueensupreme @nohemi2500 @queenmissfit @alicedopey @dmv49 @sallylebecks @terrainhead @mybarnesmyhero @youurkryptonite @lif3snotouttogetyou @vikingsmania @looneytunes20033 @bat-fam-blob @oneofthelothbroks @lovelynerdytraveler @chinduda @whatamood13 @honeyofthegods @ilvebeenabad @queenbeeta @wonderlandofsu @itsjusttaralove

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 23

I’m so sorry for missing last week! I forgot - honest mistake! You guys have been wanting to know what’s been inside (Y/N)’s package for so long, so I won’t keep you waiting any longer! I hope you enjoy chapter 23!

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

~~

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

Out with the old and in with the new.

I think it’s time to redecorate my room and throw some things away. I haven’t really taken down any photos of me and Joel since the whole breakup but it’s been a long time coming.

I feel like I could hear his name now and no longer feel the need to cry. Yes, it still hurts, but it’s gotten easier for the simple fact that I haven’t seen him in months.

I know he’s sorry for what he did, but it still doesn’t change what happened. We’ve got our own lives to live and he’s obviously way too busy to be with someone. Besides, Johann has been a good friend to me in helping me get over him. It’s better this way… right?

Mi abuela once told me that if I can’t get someone out of my head, then maybe it’s because they’re supposed to be there. My heart still reaches out for him, but my head tells me to just let it go already.

Why must I be stuck in this dilemma?

I went straight to my closet and looked through clothes and shoes I didn’t want anymore. I need a wardrobe change anyways, so I’ll just buy something new next time I go out shopping. I folded them up and put them inside a box I had on top of my bed.

Victoria has been really hesitant to talk to me about Chris since he’s friends with Joel, but I keep telling her not to worry about me and that she can tell me anything and everything about the two of them.

Little by little, she’ll open up and tell me all about their late night talks and the things he has planned for them when he comes back home from tour.

It makes my heart smile at the thought of one of my best friends finding love in an unexpected place. It makes me wish that Joel and I were still together and on good terms, but I know that can’t happen.

I’m happy she found someone and I just hope that he’ll love her right.

I walked over to my little vanity and grabbed a spray bottle, watering the flowers Johann had brought to my house recently. Ever since my birthday, he’s been coming by with all sorts of gifts and new flowers every few weeks.

It’s sweet of him to do that and bring more pop of color into my home, but I don’t need flowers to know that he cares. I leaned down and took a whiff of the beautiful scent, bringing a small smile onto my face as I pulled away. They’re gorgeous.

I sighed and grabbed some old trinkets of mine and tossed them into the box. When I’m done clearing out the things I don’t want, I’ll just send these off to Goodwill. Someone out there will have a better use for it then I will.

I grabbed picture frames and laid them on the bed, getting ready to replace them with new and updated photos of me and my friends but I stopped once I saw a photo of me and Joel when we were at the carnival together.

I frowned and traced his face with my fingertip as I thought back to all of the good times we’ve had together.

None of it was fake for me. Nothing was just for pretend or some sort of game. It was real. My feelings for him were real. I shook my head and took out the photo.

The quicker I get rid of this, the quicker it will be to get over him.

I got down on my knees and reached under my bed for a box I keep all my photos in, but was surprised when I took out something I haven’t seen in a few months. “Oh.. hello there..” I mumbled to myself. “I completely forgot about you..”

It was the random package I got for my birthday earlier this year, still unopened. I looked around my room, debating if I should open it now and see what lies inside this mystery box.

I mean… it couldn’t hurt to peek, right? It was sent to me afterall. I looked down at the package in front of me and slid my hand across the top, collecting itty bitty dust bunnies. It’s been a few months.. I think it’s about time I see what’s inside. The weird message still lay on top.

‘Only meant for your eyes’?

What kind of surprises lie for me in there?

I stood up and went to grab a pair of scissors and sat back down on my floor, bringing the package on top of my thighs and slowly tearing open the tape on top.

What’s so special about this gift anyway?

“C’mon (Y/N), it can’t be that  bad…” I lifted up the lid of the box and found smaller boxes inside. “Hmm… it doesn’t look dangerous, so that’s a plus.” I placed the package down next to me and reached inside, lifted one of the boxes up to my chest and opened it.  

I softly gasped as I looked at the small photos of me and Joel that were hung up on a string, displayed so simple and perfectly.

It showed pictures of when we were making silly faces at his camera when we were under the willow tree. When we went bowling together and I completely destroyed his ass and won… one where we went mini golfing and we were in his element… our carnival date… and random ones he took of me when I wasn’t even looking at him.

I was reminded why I fell in love with him just looking back at these memories he had printed for me. It’s sweet, but he really shouldn’t have done this. It’s like he’s roping me back in. I glanced down and lifted up some of the little notes that were written for me and read them out loud.

“I love your smile. It’s the brightest and cutest thing on this earth. Please don’t stop smiling because of my mistakes…”

“Memory: When we went bowling and you “cheated” so you could win was when I knew I started to fall in love with you. I met someone who was as competitive as me. I met my match… ”

“Memory: When we kissed for the first time, I swear to you, it felt like time had stopped. It was just us two and nothing else mattered in that moment but you… ”

“I love how you’re a little old school. Drive - In movie theatres, bowling, mini golfing.. you made love easy. Next thing I knew, I was head over heels about you. I was a fool to let that go… ”

I could feel my face getting warmer as tears started to well up in my eyes. No, it’s not fair. He can’t do that to me once I’m starting to get over him. I read through a few more until I reached something small and hard on the very bottom. “What’s this?” I mumbled to myself.

I lifted it up and was confused when I found a USB Flash Drive in my hands. I sniffled and looked around my room for my laptop and turned it on once I found it.

“C’mon, the one time I need you to hurry the fuck up, you’re taking forver..” I mumbled at my laptop as I grabbed the USB and plugged it in on the side, waiting a couple more seconds before a document popped up on my screen.

“Dear (Y/N)” is what he named it. I stopped for a moment and sighed, clicking on the document as a video of Joel’s face popped up on my screen. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes for a second.

If I watch this, then this might change everything. I don’t know if I want to see or hear what he has to say. I’m trying to get over you, Joel and I was doing perfectly fine without you in the picture.

Do I really wanna watch this video just so he could try to change my mind?

I sighed and thought for a few more moments. Yes… the answer is yes. I moved my mouse up to press play and waited for him to come onto the screen. Maybe this is a bad idea…

“Oh God.. I hope this is working..” he mumbled and fixed up his curly locks. “Um… hi. It’s me, Joel. Listen, before you go off and turn this off or throw this package away, please just hear me out. I’m just asking for a couple minutes of your time..”

I covered my mouth with my hand and felt tears welling up in my eyes once again as he continued.

“I know you probably still don’t want anything to do with me anymore and want me to leave you alone, but I can’t for the love of everything holy get you out of my head. I never knew that I could ever feel like this for anyone.”

He sighed and leaned down a bit, covering his face and sniffled. He cleared his throat and looked back up at the camera.

“I fucked up. I lost one of the best things to ever happen to me and I have no one else to blame but myself. It was the stupidest thing I ever did… I wanted to come clean after I realized that what we have.. what we had was something more. It was starting to feel like those cliché romance movies. It was becoming real.”

He smiled for a moment before he frowned again. I felt tears slowly sliding down my cheeks as I hastily wiped them away. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m crying. Why do I have to be emotional? Why do I still feel something for him?

“You deserve better… but.. I would like to be that person for you, if you’ll have me. (Y/N), you are not a second choice and I’m so sorry that I made you feel like that. You know.. I actually can’t bring myself to delete the photos of you I have in my phone. I guess there’s a part of me that still wants to believe that I can somehow fix this.”

He looked down at his hands and I noticed that he was holding a small heart shaped box and I wondered what could be inside.

“I waited as long as I could at the airport for you..”

Wait… what did he say? I leaned in close to my laptop screen as he continued talking.

“I waited and it almost ended up with me missing our flight. I couldn’t wait any longer because I was actually physically dragged away and onto the plane. I prayed that you would be there before I left so I could at least see your face.. but, you didn’t show and I got your message right then and there that it was over..”

“No, Joel! You’re wrong! I was there! I got there and Johann told me that you didn’t bother to wait. That you just left without saying goodbye and hopped on without - … ”

Wait a second… no, that can’t be true. Johann wouldn’t.. lie to me, right? He knows how I feel about Joel and how I was willing to just.. omg...

“Despite everything, I want to give us another chance. I want us to start over and fall in love again. I uh..” He cleared his throat and held up the heart shaped box in his hands. “I got you something. Well, a few things. You can pause the video to open them up if you haven’t already..”

I pressed pause and reached into the package, taking out another small box and placing it down on my lap. I feel all discombobulated now. There’s so many mixed emotions going through my mind.

I slowly opened up the box and felt my chest tighten slightly.

I bit my lip and slipped both accessories onto my body, playing with the butterfly dangling from my wrist. I reached for the last box, noticing it was the same small heart shaped one Joel was holding in the video.

“It’s beautiful…” I mumbled to myself as I slipped it onto my finger, admiring the way how it looked on me. It’s a perfect fit. I looked at the pieces of jewelry he gave me and realized that they all match. They’re all butterflies. “Oh Joel… ” I frowned, reaching down to press play.

“Butterflies are known to be a sign of good luck and hope, but for me… well, you know that saying of getting butterflies in your stomach when you’re around someone you love? It’s the same feeling I get whenever I’m around you. It’s another cliché thing, I know but I don’t care. It’s how I feel.” He smiled while looking down at the ring in his hands.

“I love it, Joel. I really do.” I spoke to my laptop screen, as if he could hear me.

“I figured I should get you a set and have them all matching. I know it’s not much, but I saw them and thought of you. (Y/N), over the next few months, I’m gonna be sending you flowers, letters, and treats that I think you’ll like from the places I’ve been to. I’m doing this kind of.. anonymously, almost.” He shook his head and bit his lip.

I looked up at the flowers that were on top of my vanity and my mouth agape. These couldn’t possibly be from Joel, can they?

“Look, I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but a guy can still hope, right? But, if this all turns out to be a flop and that I’ve been wasting time and money for someone who doesn’t want me anymore… I’ll stop.”

I felt my breath hitch in the back of my throat. Stop…?

“I’ll stop sending you ‘I’m sorry’ gifts and leave you alone for good. I won’t bother you anymore and you can be free of me. I wouldn’t be surprised after what I did. This is my last shot. After this… I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to find a way to get you out of my mind and let you go.”

I shook my head and softly cried. “No, Joel.. no please don’t.. I want you. I want you back..”

“I know this is kind of a long shot, but I want you to come and visit me sometime during the tour. I’ll be sending you flowers randomly over the next few months. I’ll be leaving small messages inside with the time and place we can meet up in each state I’m going to. I have a busy schedule, but I’m making time just for you. If I don’t see you or hear from you within the few months, I completely understand.. ”

“Joel! C’mon, we gotta go!”

“Alright! I’m coming!” He looked up at the person calling his name and then back to the camera. “I gotta go, duty calls.” He gave me one last small smile and sniffled.

“One last thing…” He leaned in and spoke. “Please don’t tell anyone but your friends. Let’s just keep this a secret between us, yeah? I’ll explain more if I see you..”

Why keep this a secret? Does he not want anyone to know about me? If it goes wrong, nobody knows about it but us, is that right? Is that why?

“Joel!”

“Ya me voy!” He sighed and shook his head. “I really gotta go…” He got up and held up the camera to his face. “Happy birthday, (Y/N)... I hope you had a good one.. bye..”

And with that, the video ended and I was left sitting on my bed with a tear stained face. I honestly don’t know what to say..

I bet I look like a fucking mess right now.

I got up and wiped my tears away, going straight for the flowers on top of my vanity and looked for any sort of message or note inside the bouquet.

Nothing.

There’s nothing there.

“Of course..” I mumbled to myself and moved a strand of hair away from my face. Joel has been sending me flowers and this whole time I thought it was Johann. Well, to be fair, he has been coming by with them in his hands. Told me they were “just because” flowers.

Does he know something about this though? Could he have taken out the messages inside and claimed them as his own? Well whatever the reason, I know one thing for certain.

The next time I get flowers from “Johann”, I need to find and read that message. I am not going to miss my flight this time around.

I’m coming, Joel. Just wait a little longer…

Next Chapter

~~

Please be sure to leave a big ‘ole heart ♥️, comment/share if you enjoyed! I love reading what y’all have to say about my stories! 

Wanna be tagged in future fics?

@cncoawo​ @pretendcnco​ @chellybear98​ @ericksmamita​ @cncogirl18​ @pimentelssmile​ @buttercup-chey​ @hoeyance​ @pizzaspirits​ @cncoaddicted​ @theweirdsideofstuff​ @guitargirl006 @ash-zahira​ @ashhemmingsstylesvelez @shordyfromdablock​ @h-bea92​ @xxxstormyninixxx​ @kmsmedine​ @sacredmercvry @babytsunami19 @zabdielitos @kikixfandoms @destiny21​ @goksiiiiii​ @apla-o-eaytos-mou​ @littlestripmix​ @urafakebetch​ @boundtobreakk​ @brightdarkeyes​ @cncownsme​

If I forgot anyone, please let me know! 💛

[sanderssideswriting]

Youtuber Life Chapter 4

Ships: familial sleepxiety and eventual Prinxiety

Words:???

triggers: attempted suicide mention

first  last  next

Summary: Remy Sanders is a famous beauty vlogger and just moved to LA with his teenage son Virgil after their location was leaked by fans. Remy AKA CoffeeAddiction has several million subscribers. Virgil also has a secret Drama channel, where he doesn’t show his face and uses a voice modifier. He just hit a million subs and grows more everyday because of the level of production his videos have, the mystery around who he is and the fact that he ALWAYS has the latest information regarding youtube drama.

“Welcome back to another episode of “the fuck did she say now? I have a DID drama update. I’ve been waiting awhile to gather information to do a long segment. Since she first came out about having DID which has been disproven time and time again she’s tried to make it more believable in the stupidest way possible. By reviewing Chick-Fil-A’s spicy chicken sandwich, five fucking times. I watched all those videos plus others to see if she’s trying to keep up the lie. She’s really not. I swear every time I have to give her my views to tell you all what’s going on I die a little inside.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“DAD! Read the fucking sign! I’m recording!”

“Are you talking about Trisha?”

“Yes dad, now let me tell them about her.”

“She’s a total bitch! I fucking hate her!”

“WE KNOW! Damn it, now I’m going to have to edit all this out.”

“I’ve been looking into DID. And it’s actually a very interesting topic, and I encourage everyone to learn more about it. There will be links to videos and article on DID in the description. DisociaDID has not been on social media very much since all of this. I know they attempted suicide. Not because of Trisha or atleast only partly. Nin the systems host was dating someone in another system called Team Piñata who was discovered to be doing some shit I will not mention because it’ll get demonetized. I actually feel really bad for they system, it seems like they have been going through a lot recently. Now for all the OTHER shit Trisha has said and done over the past few weeks.”

Virgil edited the video and posted it, making sure to edit out the bit where his dad interrupted him and called Trisha a bitch.

Roman texted him.

Roman: You’re a meme Virgil: I’m well aware, fucking Jake Paul Roman: I thought you hated the guy, why are you fucking him? Virgil: I’m so fucking done with you

“VIRGIL!”

Virgil rolled his eyes “What?”

“I have in idea for a video get your ass down here!”

Remy was in front of the camera “K, so what if I mixed all of my eyeshadow together into one?”

“First of all Cristine did that with nail powder and polish and Safiya did that already in one of her weird make up science videos. Second, scraping the eyeshadow would kill you to watch.”

“UGH! You’re right, what else could I do?”

“A Bob Ross painting on your face. you could use only drug store products for something,”

“Bob Ross painting with drugstore shit!”

Virgil shrugged “yeah sure, you could also get lip gloss mix it together and try to make something really fucking weird, or do that with gel polish”

“I refuse to touch lip gloss, it’s fucking gross.”

“Bob ross painting not on your faces with lip gloss and other lipsticks.”

Remy nodded “thanks Virgil, you’re helping my buy it later.”

“No, people at school could see me, you can order it,”

“that’s less fun though,”

Virgil rolled his eyes “fine dad, I just need to make sure that no one can recognize me.”

He was ready pretty fast, with a light brown wig and blue contacts he also had close that where black and purple reserved for the occasion.

“Hello everyone! We are in the car today at our local Walgreens because we’re going to be buying lipstick, lip gloss and lip liner to make a Bob Ross painting!” 

“Not on your face.”

“Not on my face, fuck lip gloss.”

“I wasn’t aware that was a kink or whatever.”

Remy glared at Virgil “smartass, you can walk home.”

“Gladly, I’ll be laughing when I see you trying to film and carry everything and talk and pay the cashier. You’ll be a meme.”

“You already got memed once this week, I’ll meme you myself if I have to. Or I could turn you into an E-Girl, you did lose that bet.”

“I absolutely despise you,”

Remy laughed “no you don’t.”

“I really do, and you can’t make me e an e-girl.”

“No, but the people can, there’ll be a poll right here, vote should my intern be an e-girl for the day?”

Virgil groaned “times like these make me wish I was aborted.”

Remy laughed.

The rest of the video went ok and no one recognized Virgil.

Raccoon: I hate life Dukey: I saw, I voted yes, you’d make a wonderful e-girl hiss hiss motherfucker: so did I, suffer bitch Raccoon: you’re both traitors  hiss hiss motherfucker: at least we’re not going to be an e-girl

Virgil was pissed the whole week. “What’s up with you Dr. Gloom?” Roman asked.

“Made a bet with Remus, and lost, I’m going to commit toaster bath.”

Roman made a face “why would you make a bet with my brother? nothing good comes out of it.”

“I thought I’d win, turns out he’s totally willing to eat deodorant if it means I’ll have to dress like an e-girl for a day and make a tiktok.”

Roman laughed “I cannot wait to see you dressed as an e-girl.”

“I can, I’ll be locking myself in my room all day.”

“I’m surprised Remus didn’t say you’d have to walk around in public like that.”

“He did, but he can’t see me, so I’ll be in my room.”

Remy was in front of the camera. “Time for you to become an e-girl!”

“I’d like to say a very special fuck you to everyone who voted yes and that after this I’m going to commit toaster bath,”

“It’s one day, you’ll be fine.”

“One day in my room with the door locked and curtains closed.”

Remy laughed “oh no gurl, you’ll be going out, I suggest you make plans.”

“WHAT? That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“I thought it would go without saying you’d have to go outside.”

Virgil just glared, happy his face wasn’t in frame.

The makeover took well over an hour. when it was over he looked almost unrecognizable, thankfully.

Virgil: Hey, anyone want to hang out, my dad’s kicking me out of the house for the day says I need to be “social” whatever the means Princey: So you do need to go out as an e-girl Virgil: unfortunately, anyone free? Logan: I have to study and Patton is out at the animal shelter volunteering, Roman? Princey: I’m free, meet you at the mall? Virgil: Sure

“Dad! I’m going to hang out with Roman see you later.”

“Have fun on your date!”

“dad! It’s not a date!” He slammed the door and left.

Virgil waited in a café for Roman. He got an iced coffee as always.

Someone shoved him while he was waiting in line.

“What are you? A boy or a girl make up your mind,”

Virgil didn’t look up from his phone “gender is a spectrum and gender norms are fake and I refuse to give into toxic musicality and if you have a problem with that you can leave because I already ordered and payed for my drink and am not leaving until I get it.”

“You can’t change your chromosomes, it’.” the guy said in a feeble attempt to get back at Virgil. basic biology

“How about you stop relying on basic biology and come back when you can argue the same statement with complex biology. If you really knew anything about biology more then the basics you’d know that scientifically there are at least three genders according to chromosomes. Male, female and intersex, and that once again biology isn’t fucking basic otherwise everyone would be a biologist. I can wear a skirt if I want to.”

He grabbed his coffee and left, Roman had arrived a few minutes prior.

“Damn emo nightmare I didn’t think you’d go all out on the E-girl look.”

Virgil shrugged “go big or go home, and I was kicked out for the day so I had to go big. Dad said I needed to go outside. For some reason, no idea why. I mean last time I left the house of my own free will not for school was only six months ago.”

Roman looked at him in doubt “I’m pretty sure you’ve been outside of your own free will sooner then six months ago.”

“Outside? Yes, of my own free will? not so much. Oooh hot tpic.”

Roman laughed.

“Shut up princey, they have cool stuff, including gay stuff.”

Roman shrugged “could be gayer.”

“You’ve been in hot topic?”

Roman shrugged “a few times with Remus, he makes me go, bribing me with Disney.”

Virgil smirked “why am I not surprised you can be bribed with Disney?”

He started looking around at My Chemical Romance t-shirts and other things. He also grabbed some purple hair dye.

“Where to next princey?”

Roman shrugged “Game stop?”

“Sure,”

They hung out at the mall for awhile longer before guess what another youtuber came.

It was Safiya doing a weird makeup science vlog.

“Virgil, planning on becoming a meme again?”

Virgil rolled his eyes “no, besides Safiya’s cool, I like her make up science videos. I just hate vloggers who do shitty content and make to much money through it.”

They left shortly after going their separate ways.

“How was your date?” Remy called from the basement.

“Not a date! You made me get out the house!”

“Come down here and finish filming!”

“So, how was your day of being an e-girl?”

“Got harassed about my gender and whatnot, I fucking destroyed the idiot, that was fun.”

“And who did you hang out with?”

“I told you and again, it wasn’t a date, everyone else was busy.”

Remy looked towards the camera in doubt.

“Well I’m never doing this again, I’m going to go change.”

The video went viral when it was posted several days later.

I saw a kid at the mall dressed like an e-girl a few days ago. They got harrassed at the Starbucks.

[i-went-to-a-cuddle-party-once]

Dance, Dance

Summary: Jessica makes Teen Malcolm go to a dance. He makes the best of a bad situation.

Warnings: Not many? Bullying and people being jerks. Some cursing. 

A/N: So I wrote this a few weeks ago and then forgot to post it and when I looked at it today to make any edits I ended revamping the whole dang thing because Why Not!

He sat in the leaned back chair while the esthetician rubbed yet another lotion on his face. He huffed and wished he was literally anywhere else in the world.

"Can you at least pretend to be enjoying this Malcolm? You're having a spa day, not being tortured by the Spanish inquisition."

"It's not exactly my form of relaxation mother. If you wanted to pamper someone you should have brought Ainsley," he replied through grit teeth.

"There, all done." The woman awkwardly smiled at both of them before leaving the room.

"Usually I would have," she returned her attention to her son," but I needed to get you ready for the dance."

"The what?"

"The dance. Malcolm we talked about this. I allowed you to buy that sword from the auction and you agreed to go to a social event of my choosing." He cradled his head in his hands. It was a nice katana, 15th century, great condition and it looked gorgeous on his bedroom wall.

"Don't touch your face sweetheart, you'll undo all the hard work she did. We can't have you breaking out before the big day!" She squealed with excitement and Malcolm felt himself die a little on the inside.

…

"I don't even go to that school. Or any school! I won't know anyone." They sat at the dinner table hours later, the arguments end nowhere in sight. Ainsley was practically glowing with the endless amount of fuel for teasing that had come along with all the preparations for the dance.

"That's the point, Malcolm. You don't know anyone. Anywhere. You don't socialize!" She set her fork gently down, staring daggers at her son.

"I talk to Gil all the time! And Jackie! And you and Ainsley. And-"

"Don't you dare say his name and ruin our good day," Malcolm slouched in his chair sulking, "Gil and Jackie don't count and you live with Ainsley and I. Although I still wouldn't count what little interaction you grace us with as socializing." She wiped the nonexistent crumbs from her face with a cloth napkin.

"I haven't even told you the most exciting part yet. I got you a date!" Malcolm's mouth hung open, completely speechless, and Ainsley burst into laughter.

…

He had given up on begging and bargaining and had settled into a state of acceptance. Hair carefully combed new suit on, corsage in hand. He sat stock-still next to his mother in his date's living room. His mother spoke animatedly with the girl's parents and Malcolm tried his hardest to remember what Gil had told him.

Of course, he was happy for him. Both Jackie and Gil squealed with the same sort of joy his mother had when she told him about the dance and date. None of them seemed to understand the embarrassment that stemmed from having your mother procure a date for you.

"Just try to enjoy yourself kid. You don't even have to dance. Although I do recommend it," he heard Jackie giggling in the background and could imagine Gil had taken her in his arms, twirling her around.

"Make your own fun. And please, be safe. Call me if you need me to get out of there." He kept the thoughts in his mind wishing he could call Gil now when his date finally joined them in the living room.

They made a handsome pair. Ashley and Malcolm. He could see his mother planning their wedding already. Her parents and his mother enjoyed themselves arranging the two of them for pictures like they knew each other and hadn't just met two minutes earlier.

She was pretty. Her blonde hair was piled into an intricate updo, dark blue eyes staring him down and a dangerous smile that made his stomach do flips that had nothing to do with attraction. She was deadly. The same type of girl that had bullied him mercilessly until he had begged his mother to allow him to be homeschooled.

He knew other boys his age would die to go on a date with a girl like her but all he saw was someone who could be paid off to go on a date with a complete stranger.

After what felt like a lifetime they finally left the house in a limo. The drive to the dance was excruciating. He hated small talk. Hated false pleasantries. They sat in silence. He sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair, something he'd promised his mother he wouldn't do.

There was something that he knew inexplicably. Despite his temperament, odd interests, and father he was handsome and if he wanted to be he could be very charming. He swallowed his nerves before beginning his performance.

He looked up at his date, catching her eye with a flutter of his eyelashes before smiling shyly. She took the bait and gave him her full attention.

"I know this night probably isn't what you were hoping for. My mother sprung the whole idea on me three days ago. Though I can't say I'm entirely disappointed," he eyed her carefully knowing he'd done well when a slight blush crawled across her cheeks and a hint of a smile touched her lips.

"I only agreed to this because my mom owed your mom a favor. And I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago and didn't have a date and I was not going by myself." He laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd heard before shifting to sit closer to her.

"I highly doubt you would have a hard time finding a willing date." She giggled and he ignored the feeling that this was a bad idea.

...

The venue was just as loud as he had expected, music blaring from what felt like every direction. Ashley grabbed his hand in her own and pulled him in, quickly finding her friends and introducing him. He laughed when appropriate and smiled his wide alluring smile. He was clever and told jokes and when Ashley pulled him to the dance floor he danced without protest. He despised every moment of it.

He was only half paying attention when it happened. Half his mind was elsewhere, still trying to weigh if keeping his katana was worth all of this mess. It was the sharpness of his date’s voice that brought his attention back to the moment.

"Look, it's crying," She laughed, "I didn't know lower life forms had feelings." He looked to the girl her words were aimed at, tears and mascara already running down her face.

"What, you thought some cheap makeup and a store-bought dress could change the fact that you don't belong here? You're not Cinderella." His date and her friends laughed and he felt his anger rising.

"What the fuck is your problem," he was standing and the words were falling from his mouth before he could think to stop them. "I knew you were a spoiled brat who thinks that money is a replacement for a personality but I guess I was wrong," he clapped "you're a spoiled brat and an asshole who thinks they can get away with saying anything because mommy and daddy never had had the guts to tell you no." Ashley stared at him in shock before ripping her corsage off.

"This date is over," she stomped away, friends in tow eyeing him.

"Thank God, if I had to listen to another minute of your incessant rambling I was going to jump out of a window," he called back to her.

He looked to the other girl, her shoulders hunched and shaking. He guided her to an exit and watched her sit on the sidewalk before taking a seat on the pavement next to her.

"Thanks," her voice cracked. "I guess that's what I get for attempting to have one glamorous night. I know I'm not blonde and rich like her but does she have to be so obnoxious about it?" She looked down at herself with anger. "Not that all rich people are bad," she added taking a quick glance at him before blushing. He laughed his first genuine laugh of the night.

"No, I think we're all pretty terrible. Myself included." She chuckled and accepted the hankie he handed to her.

"Holy shit I didn't know rich people actually carried these. Is it sanitary?" He laughed again.

"I swear it's clean." He watched her wipe her tears and pull a compact from her bag before groaning at her reflection.

He tried not to stare but allowed himself to look at her, convincing himself that he was just trying to make sure she was okay. Her hair was in tight curls and swung loosely around her shoulders. Brown eyes rimmed with red from crying. Crimson lipstick painted on her full lips slightly smudged. She sat more relaxed, anxiety leaving her position.

"My name is Jenae by the way, and you are?" She offered a hand to him. He shook it, trying and failing to ignore the way his skin tingled at her touch.

"Malcolm. I'm Malcolm."

…

They sat on the curb for over an hour talking. He explained to her how he got roped into the whole situation ("that's the stupidest fucking thing I've heard. God, boys are dumb.") and she explained her situation to him. She had been accepted to the school due to an outreach program offered to underprivileged students. She loved the school and extensive science department but loathed the snooty rich kids that filled its halls. She was glad to put it all behind her in a few years.

"Do you wanna get out of here and do something fun? I have a limo?" She raised an eyebrow and he realized how his words could be interpreted." Oh, oh, no. I didn't mean it like that. I meant like Ice cream or something!” she giggled at his stammering and he had another thought, “Although getting into a limo with a guy you just met probably isn’t the best idea either, huh. How about in a cop car?”

…

Gil was there in minutes despite living over a half-hour away. Malcolm would question him later about it but for now, he was just grateful for the man coming without questioning what happened to the limo and why he was now on a date with a completely different girl. He drove them to an ice cream parlor he had regularly taken Malcolm and Ainsley to when they were younger and stayed in the car while Malcolm and Jenae went in.

She teasingly stole his phone and saved her number to it so he could text her later and his heart skipped a beat. Later. She wanted to talk to him and see him on a night other than tonight.

"You'll be a great scientist, I mean you're already thriving amongst a bunch of single-cell organisms." She groaned at his joke before frowning.

"I should probably head home my Abuelita will ground me for life if I get home after midnight." He offered her a hand down from the stool she sat on and nearly tripped over his own feet when he realized that instead of letting go she had wound her fingers between his.

…

The drive to drop her off went faster then he wanted it to last, which was forever. His hand was sweaty and he was sure she noticed but he refused to be the first to let go.

"Do you have any plans next weekend," she asked, "there's this art show I was thinking of checking out."

"Yes!" He cleared his throat and glared at Gil who was chuckling in the front seat. "I mean yeah, that'd be cool. Just text me the details."

The pulled up in front of her apartment building he held the car door open for her. He watched her make her way up the stairs to the door before closing his eyes, leaning against the car and unabashedly grinning to himself.

"Hey, Malcolm?" He opened his eyes to find her standing closer than he expected and before he could reply she leaned toward him and softly kissed his cheek. She turned away from him and ran up the stairs and through the front door. He slid his way into the passenger's seat where he could feel Gil's eyes on him. He covered his blushing face with his hands.

"It looks like you had a good time."

"Shut up Gil," the older man snorted, started the car and drove into the night. "Do you think it's too soon to text her?"

[absentlyabbie]

hey if it's not too late for the ask meme: tommy/oliver, reunited

@ayotofu i’m a whole month late but i never once forgot about this. hope it hits the spot

–

and it feels so—

out of the frying pan and into the fryer, oliver hasn’t had the chance to be relieved he’s no longer on lian yu, thanks to amanda waller and her plans and machinations. but not even the threat against maseo’s family can make oliver pull the trigger on his best friend.

it may be a stupid plan to kidnap tommy to covince him that oliver queen rots at the bottom of the ocean and the email alert that drew tommy to hong kong was a hacker’s ransom trap, but if it’s the only way oliver can keep tommy and maseo’s family alive, he’s willing to try.

it’s going great, really. tommy’s terror makes him easy to convince, and the heartbreak practically bleeds from tommy’s voice when oliver-as-hacker informs him oliver queen isn’t alive to log into his email almost three years after disappearing into the south china sea. oliver may be sick with guilt and pain and battling his own desperate longing to look his friend in the eye and maybe even go home, but he can all but hear tommy starting to accept that the man he’s looking for is long dead.

it’s even a kind of true, isn’t it? oliver is pretty sure he died when his dad pulled the trigger on himself. he’s just been the walking dead ever since.

only it goes just the wrong amount of sideways. in the stupidest way.

oliver stands just a little too much to the right. it’s almost funny, how easily it all comes crashing down. he stands too far to the right of tommy’s shoulder, shifts his weight just a little too much, and tommy’s had just enough time for his eyes to adjust to the lights when his head rolls back and—

the eye contact is like a thousand volts right to the chest. it’s less than a second, not even a heartbeat, nobody so much as breathes, but oliver watches it all race across tommy’s face—shock, bewilderment, recognition, disbelief, awe, rage—and the only saving grace is that oliver claps a hand over tommy’s mouth before tommy can get more than the first outraged syllable of oliver’s name out.

“shut up,” he hisses, desperate. maseo is due to bust in any second oh god oh shit oh fuck, what does he do now? “tommy just—just shut up, just trust me, fuck, i’m trying to get you out of this alive—”

it’s too late.

the sirens and yelling reek of falsity now, and oliver’s skin goes ice-cold as maseo in his stolen police uniform busts in, in-character and ready to help oliver fake this.

but the gun maseo is holding is very real and it only takes a single sweeping look for him to see nothing has gone according to plan.

oliver can’t take the chance that maseo will complete the original mission. if the last two and a half years have done anything for oliver, they’ve prepared him to act when there’s no time to think.

he shoves tommy’s chair over and in the same motion spins low across the dirt floor to come up under maseo’s gun arm, knocking the weapon from maseo’s hand and pulling him into a rough headlock.

it’s a struggle. maseo is better trained. he’s done this longer.

but in this exact second, oliver is more desperate, and he’s been that for longer.

“i’m sorry,” he hisses in maseo’s ear, grunting against maseo’s elbow in his gut, his nails raking at oliver’s arm through his sleeve. “i hope you come to quick and you get your wife and kid out of the city as fast as you can. i’m sorry. he’s my family.”

he keeps his arm jammed against maseo’s throat until maseo finally goes limp.

he lowers maseo gently into the dirt, recovers the gun, and moves swiftly to tommy.

he seems no worse for the tip to the floor, though the simmering expression on his face says it’s not exactly patience so much as the ropes binding his hands to the chair that have kept him waiting there. apologizing, his head going faintly numb with an ears-ringing surreality, oliver unties tommy and helps him stiffly to his feet.

“i don’t know if i should kiss you or kill you,” tommy all but spits, his eyes blazing-bright. “i’d be leaning more towards ‘kill you’ if i hadn’t just fucking got you back from the dead. i need… so many explanations.”

oliver swallows a thick, disagreeable knot of emotions, the joy and relief sinking like lead into the fear and dread, chased down by urgency. “you’ll have them. but later. i just risked that guy and his family’s lives and if we don’t disappear fast then they’re dead and so are we.”

“no worries, it doesn’t seem like that sticks to you, ollie,” tommy quips, massaging the blood back into his wrists. it’s a little bitter and a little wry, but oliver just wants to weep for being called ollie again, so he yanks tommy into a fast, hard hug.

it’s all they have time for.

tommy tries to steer them back to his dad’s hong kong villa, but oliver knows it’s under surveillance. this means the private merlyn jet is similarly out of the question. fortunately, tommy’s carrying a fat wad of local currency. “in case i needed to bribe people,” he explains, “for information about you.”

it only just starts to hit oliver what it means, that tommy had oliver’s email flagged for activity alerts, that tommy flew halfway around the world in less than a day, that he was ready and even eager to beat the pavement spreading cash for even a hint of a whisper that might mean oliver was still alive.

it’s more emotion than oliver has time or bandwidth to deal with.

the cash gets them on a tiny plane at a postage stamp of a non-commercial airfield, and by dawn they’re in the air, on their way to south korea with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the quickly-diminishing cash in tommy’s back pocket.

they’re going to have to go underground, oliver explains grimly through the headset. their pilot speaks less than a full sentence of english, so they can speak freely. this is only the start of their run, he needs tommy to know. there’s a government agency after them now, and oliver may have picked up some things since he and tommy saw each other last, but hiding from spook squads wasn’t exactly in a training manual.

tommy seems alarmingly buoyant and agile in the current situation. he’s taking oliver’s directions and piecemeal information in stride, in sync with oliver’s urgency in putting hong kong as far behind them as fast as possible. he’s not melting down or screaming at oliver or demanding answers.

not yet, anyways.

oliver thinks maybe tommy’s in shock.

he thinks maybe he is too, if he’s being honest with himself, but he’d prefer not to be until he has to be.

the first crack in the wall comes like daybreak on the horizon, sharp and searing and bright.

“by the way,” tommy says after a lapse, his voice brassy and a little echoey over the headset but still incredibly, beautifully familiar. “you’ve clearly been through some shit and i’m guessing wherever in hell you’ve been the amenities were severely lacking, like shampoo, and mirrors, hot towels, whatever. so know i’m saying this with utmost love, because i’m not sure you know and you need to hear it.”

oliver twists in his seat to look at tommy in trepidation.

tommy’s expression is that of someone about to deal a blow that will probably hurt but is necessary, like resetting a broken bone. oliver braces himself.

“i love you man, but your hair is fucking ugly.”

oliver stares at him blankly, and tommy just serves him that abiding, pitying look.

it comes out like a hiccup. a popped soap bubble of a sound, utterly lost in the whine and roar of the plane engine. It’s followed by another, and another, until they pile up and oliver is bending over and clutching at his stomach, face red and wheezing with laughter.

tommy’s hand is beating affectionately against oliver’s back and tommy’s laughter is ringing warm and bright in his ears, and it sparks clean and alive and desperately fragile in oliver’s chest for the first time in possibly years: hope.

the hope that maybe, just maybe, somehow things can be okay.

–

aus i’ll never write

[fanficnewbie]

“Fighting for Forever” - Chapter Four - Open Heart FanFic

This is my first story/series. The first 5 chapters are adaptations from the first 4 parts of “A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey” series with permission from @alwaysmychoices and then I continue my own original work in chapters 6-14.

I start this adapted storyline during Chapter 15 of the original OH series. There is a bit of AU, where I play around with the storyline a bit and insert two days between MC leaving the country club and returning to her apartment to find Landry packing. Some situations have been changed to keep with the original vision of @alwaysmychoices and make the story work in the direction I wanted it to go. However, I find my way back to the original in Chapters 6-8 and then move on past the ending of Book One during chapters 9-14.

My MC is female, Francesca Houseman, who has only had eyes for Ethan Ramsey from day one.

FULL SERIES

Chapter Four: “In the Still of the Night” Part 2 (adapted from “Unspoken”)

5793 words

This entry returns to Chapter 15 expanding on the imagined world in our previous three chapters and retelling the scene when MC is back at Ethan’s apartment to ask for help at her Ethics Hearing.

(NSFW)

When they entered his apartment, Francesca released Jenner from his leash and watched as he jumped on the couch, eagerly waiting for her to join him for another snuggle session. She smiled softly at him, scratched under his chin and placed a kiss on his forehead, before leaving their potential snuggles to talk to Ethan.

He was already reaching for the decanter when Francesca joined him, silently watching as he poured out a glass of scotch.

“Scotch or something else?” Ethan was prepared to list every single drink he had in his arsenal, full of nervous energy, but she stopped him with a nod towards the decanter.

“That looks expensive, so I’m sure it’ll do the trick.” The irony struck her that just hours earlier she had told him she’d never drink again. She rationalized that this situation warranted an exemption.

They both took a sip and allowed the warmth to linger in their chest before speaking again, waiting for the liquid courage to set in. Unsurprisingly, it was Francesca who made the first move.

“I said one,” Francesca eyed her drink, “I’ll assume we don’t have much time before our glasses are empty, so we better start talking.”

Ethan paused and considered all of the strategies he could take. His fear of losing her paralyzed him, but his fear of hurting her spurred him to scrutinize everything. He’d never been in this place before and his frame of reference was limited. 

“You didn’t tell me about the ethics investigation,” he blurted out, amazed by how much it hurt that she’d kept that from him.

“You weren’t there for me to tell,” Francesca asserted.

Ethan grimaced.

“Did you go to Rafael or Bryce for advice?” He didn’t recognize the jealousy in his tone.

“Excuse me?” Francesca flushed with indignation, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Was there somebody else you turned to in my absence?” Ethan persisted, horrified by her potential answer.

“You don’t get to ask a question like that,” Francesca shook her head, frustrated, “Don’t act like I haven’t given you far more opportunities than I’ve given anyone else.”

“So you’ve given others opportunities?” Ethan was well aware that he was in no position to be so upset. He knew that she was right. If he hadn’t been bound by his own code, he could have been with her a long time ago. Francesca had no responsibility to stay loyal to a nonexistent relationship. She was free to do whatever – and whomever – she wanted, but the idea of it killed him.

Francesca knew that he had no entitlement to information about her life with other men. Yet, as much as it angered her that he was even daring to ask, there was still a large part of her that needed him to know that this entire time she had only wanted him. She was wholly irritated by his misplaced jealousy and arrogance, but she also saw it as a small signal to the depth of his true feelings. Even so, she needed to challenge him.

“For the record, Rafael was overcoming major surgery so, no, I didn’t feel it was the right time to bother him with my personal issues. And, I’ve already explained my relationship with Bryce – I actually go to him for advice a lot, he’s a great listener.” Francesca took a large gulp of her scotch, begging it to fuel her, “So enough with the bullshit jealous act. You had your chance. When we almost slept together in Miami, who stopped it? It sure as hell wasn’t me.”

“Because I’m your boss! It’s not ethical!” Ethan exclaimed.

Francesca rolled her eyes, tired of his nonsense excuses, “Well, I’m already facing an ethics hearing, so clearly, I’m deficient in that area – sorry I can’t live up to your high standards.”

“Francesca”, he looked at her, annoyed she was purposely misinterpreting his words, “You know I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Francesca diverted her gaze, biting on her lower lip as she raked her fingers through her curly hair, letting it fall around haphazardly her shoulders, Ethan was caught off guard by how vulnerable she seemed, and how impassioned and upset she was. She walked away from him, pacing his living room floor and occasionally glanced over at him as if planning her defense.

“I know you didn’t,” Francesca finally admitted with a deep sigh, “But most of the time I don’t know what I know about you. Today, I felt close to you. Today was great,” Francesca closed her eyes as if trying to relive their carefree afternoon, “But then you try to pull away and shut me out. Yet I know you trust me or you wouldn’t have brought me in on Naveen’s case. I mean, how the fuck am I supposed to be your friend if you won’t let me in?”

“I do consider you a friend…and I brought you in on a case I failed at,” Ethan gulped at his drink as if the smooth scotch could dull the nagging failure that he carried every day. “And I told you why I left Edenbrook Francesca, I’m not the doctor we both thought I was,” Ethan’s voice cracked.

“Don’t say that,” Francesca stepped towards him instinctively.

“It’s true,” Ethan drained his scotch, returning the glass to the table as he sat in a nearby armchair.

“It’s not true,” Francesca was by his side now, surprised by her own proximity to him, her frustration giving way to his vulnerability and defeat. “That’s bullshit. You are the doctor I thought you were and more. You’ve saved thousands of patients, Ethan. They’re still living their lives because of you.”

“I couldn’t save Delores. I couldn’t save Naveen. I-I…” Ethan’s hand reached for his empty glass, but Francesca pushed it away before he could, taking his hand in hers.

“You didn’t save them, but you loved them,” Francesca stared deep into his eyes as if willing him to believe her, “You stayed up all night with baby Ethan, and he has a full life because someone loved him. You gave Delores and Naveen a choice, and when they picked their diagnosis over their treatment, you respected it. That’s why you’re the best doctor I know. You respect your patients and you never stop caring about them.” 

Francesca paused, tears welling in her eyes as she added, “I was trying to be like you when I helped Mrs. Martinez.  She was willing to choose her diagnosis over 10 more years of treatment. I thought that I could help her by giving her those meds and allowing her to live the life she had always dreamed of. If I’d taken no for an answer or ignored how she felt, I wouldn’t have endangered her life. She’d be alive and I wouldn’t be facing a revoked medical license.” Francesca stopped, realizing the truth even while facing the consequence, “But she’d be miserable, and for that reason, I’d still do it all over again.”

Ethan’s wiped a tear from her cheek, “That was the stupidest and kindest thing you ever did, Rookie.”

Francesca looked up at him, warmed at the sound of her nickname.

“You’re a good doctor, Francesca, I’m not even sure if I would be brave enough to help Mrs. Martinez in the way you did.”

Francesca nodded slowly and mulled over her words before saying, “You told me to examine my mistakes, learn from them, and let go. Instead, I lost one of my best friends and risked my entire career.” Francesca laughed at herself, but her chuckle was laced in bitterness.

“You do enjoy the dramatics,” Ethan conceded, earning a playful glare.

A peaceful lull formed in the storm of their fight and momentarily reminded them of what they were fighting for in the first place. How did they make everything seem okay again, even when it clearly wasn’t?

“I didn’t know if I would ever be able to move on when you left,” Francesca admitted carefully, “For a cold son of a bitch, you sure as hell can make people care about you.”

“I tried very hard to make you stop caring about me, but you were always stubborn,” he retorted.

“You’re right,” Francesca nodded thoughtfully, “Taking me with you to the conference in Miami, including me on Dr. Banjeri’s case, inviting me to your favorite coffee shop, teaching me the beauty of the opera… all of that was a ploy to… push me away? I suppose you were playing the long game…” She looked back at him, eyes glaring with amusement.

Ethan laughed, amazed by how much he enjoyed when she made fun of him, “You forgot that I also introduced you to my dog.”

“Please, Jenner is basically my dog now,” Francesca smiled at the puppy, now watching them intently.

They settled into another comfortable silence as the discord seemed to slip away. They both knew they hadn’t resolved anything and more fights were waiting, but they couldn’t manage to break the comfort they felt in each other, not yet.

Finally, after a long time, Francesca spoke. She hesitated with her words, unsure that she even wanted to break the unsteady truce, but after a beat, she forced herself to ask, “Will you testify for me?”

Ethan looked surprised, and before he could answer, Francesca continued emphatically, “You know I’m a good doctor! You know you could help me.“

“Francesca,” Ethan stopped her, “I can’t.”

Francesca let out a defeated sigh, her worst fears confirmed. After everything they’d done and said, he was still too damaged, too deficient to be who she needed him to be. She stood slowly and moved towards the window as she processed his latest rejection. Her hope vanished and she chastised herself for accepting his invitation to begin with. Nothing was going to change.

Beneath her, Boston hummed with electricity and excitement. There was an entire world down there, oblivious to what was happening in Ethan’s apartment. They had no idea that Francesca Houseman’s life was falling apart.

She hugged herself, trying to receive the comfort he couldn’t offer. “Why are you being so cold? What happened to you? I came to Edenbrook to learn from the Ethan Ramsey.”

Ethan shook his head. “This is the Ethan Ramsey. I’m the man who can save anyone except the people he gives a damn about. Not Dolores. Not Naveen. And not you.”

She turned to face him, his words were now meaningless but hers were soft and defiant. “Maybe you quit. But you taught me not to. So I’m fighting back, with or without you.”

Ethan retrieved both of their glasses to refill them, he walked back to the window and held out one for her, his voice low and discouraged, “Don’t you think I’d help you if I could? I already told Harper I wanted to testify for you and she refused. She says I’m too biased, and you know what? She’s right. So stop asking. I don’t work there, and soon neither will you.”

He raised his glass in a toast, “To early retirement, likely for both of us.” Ethan clinked her glass with a sad nod, and the Scotch settled into a familiar burn in his chest.

Francesca stood there, slightly numb, she took a sip but tasted nothing. Then a stunning realization dawned on her. The thing she was so angry at him for - the idea that he was too self-absorbed, too defective to acknowledge and return the support she had so freely given him for so long … she had been wrong.

She gazed up at him, her eyes so full of wonderment that they momentarily distracted him, “You tried without me asking…” Her whispered voice was tinged with sadness. “I thought you had written me off as a lost cause.

He was surprised at her response, “Of course I hadn’t.” He took another sip and put his drink down, his voice bitter as he processed his failures, “You’re just the latest person I tried to save and failed.” 

Francesca shook her head and putting her drink next to his, placed a hand on his cheek as she moved his face to look at her, “Stop saying that.” 

She looked at him, seeing another angle of the kaleidoscope. He had called Chief Emery and tried to help her, he hadn’t let her go. Full of self-loathing, his eyes met hers and he asked again what was so painfully obvious to him, “Don’t you think I’d help you if I could? 

Even in his lowest moment, his affection for her was laid bare. She was buoyed by this revelation and instinctively leaned towards him.

He smelled the lingering notes of his body wash on her skin, he was close enough that he could watch her chest rise and fall with her breath. Her lips still shiny with scotch, parted as she gazed up at him, and Ethan’s breath caught as he realized she was…so beautiful…and so close.

He leaned closer, so that Francesca felt the heat of his breath on her skin. Her senses were overwhelmed with him…  

And then he was against her, their proximity so near that she only had to lean the tiniest bit more to brush her lips across his. They were soft and warm and…

And they collided. His kiss consumed her. He tasted like scotch and coffee and Ethan. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she pulled him closer. He could feel her hammering heart against his chest. His hands were on her, his fingertips digging into her hips as he tugged her as close as he could possibly have her. Any space was too much. He’d never needed anyone like he needed her at this moment.

Ethan effortlessly lifted her, guiding her to wrap her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the window. The cool glass contrasted the heat between the two of them, and her lips left his to giggle at their eagerness before she was lost in him once more.

His hands were everywhere, her waist, her hips, her ass, her thighs, her breasts. It was as if he felt the need to explore and claim every inch of her body, to treasure it with his appreciative touch.

“Ethan,” Francesca moaned softly, her hands left his hair to pull at his sweater. Ethan pulled away just long enough for her to take it off, not caring where the garment fell when she threw it over his shoulder.

Ethan’s hands were already on her waist, the fabric of her t-shirt wrinkling beneath his touch. His shirt. Ethan felt a swell of pride as he remembered how sexy it was when she confidently walked out in it that morning, and he remained convinced that it was the hottest thing she’d ever worn. The grey cotton began to ride up her body as he moved his hands up her torso, and he victoriously pulled it over her head and threw it on the ground beneath him. Her exposed skin was so warm against his hands, and the lace of her black bra tickled his skin as she pressed herself back to him.

Ethan moved from the window, still holding onto her tight as he led her to his living room, and placed her gently on his couch – Jenner jumped out the way and sensing something was up, walked out of the room. Slowly untangling her legs from his waist, her fingers fumbled for his belt, and he laughed softly at her attempts to quickly remove it.

Biting on her lower lip, Ethan pulled away from her kiss, enjoying the sweet sound of her moan, and as he gazed down at her, decided it was undoubtedly the best sight he’d ever seen. She was desperate for his touch, desperate for him.

Ethan’s breath stopped as he suddenly remembered why he hadn’t seen this sight since Miami, why he’d stopped it then… and why he had to stop it now.

Francesca saw the change in his eyes and her stomach lurched as panic settled in. “Ethan…” she whispered, her hands gripped his arms as she started to sit up to look at him better. No, no, he couldn’t… not again, she thought to herself.

“Francesca,” Ethan’s voice was ragged, full of resignation and disappointment, and it was a sucker punch to Francesca, “I can’t…”

Francesca’s eyes closed, her face in a grimace as she fell back to the couch, covering her head with her arm as the sting of rejection replaced the carefree joy she’d felt only moments before. Even now, miles from Edenbrook, he still didn’t want her. Tears burned at her eyes, but she willed them away.

Ethan’s hand hovered over her hair, desperately wanting to comfort her, but instead he stepped back, knowing it would only do more harm than good to even try. He left the couch, returned to his glass of scotch and downed it as he waited with bated breath for her reaction. She was eerily quiet, as she collected her thoughts and her emotions wreaked havoc.

What’s wrong with me? Francesca’s thoughts were unstoppable, cutting through every attempt to silence them as they taunted her with rejection and humiliation. Why hadn’t she learned to stop hoping for Dr. Ramsey?

Before she knew what she was doing, Francesca grabbed the couch pillow from behind her head and hurled it at Ethan. The pillow stunned him but bounced off easily, leaving him shocked and confused.

“Fuck you, Ethan Ramsey!” Francesca was up now, looking for her shirt so that she could stop feeling so exposed and vulnerable, but when she saw it on the floor, she was reminded that it was his shirt, not hers, and refused to touch it.

“Excuse me?” Ethan asked, expecting her anger but not her venom.

“You heard me. Fuck. You.” Francesca repeated, the words flowing off her tongue with such ease and stinging him with the emphasis she put on each syllable.

“Francesca, you know why we can’t,” Ethan began, but she stopped him before he could deliver the same speech.

“Don’t you dare,” Francesca shook her head, the tears returned and she had lost her strength to will them away as she walked closer to confront him, “Don’t you dare tell me that you can’t betray your moral code. You can’t do this, Ethan. You can’t pull me close just so you can push me away.”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Ethan was offended at the accusation and incredulous that she still didn’t understand his motives, “I’m putting you first. I’m putting your career first!” He couldn’t fathom not making that point explicit.

“No, you’re not! That’s what you’re telling yourself, but that’s not what’s happening!” Francesca jabbed a finger at his still bare chest, “You’re afraid of intimacy, so you’re searching for every possible excuse to keep me at arm’s length. You can’t have it both ways, Ethan,” Francesca paused when she heard her voice crack, trying desperately to sum up the strength to continue her speech, and the sight made Ethan shrink.

“Is it some stupid test to prove your masculinity? To know that I want you and to make me beg for it just so you can prove your worth and then cast me aside?”

“No, of course not,” Ethan breathed, shocked she could even think such a thing. He instinctively placed his hands on her shoulders as she wiped her tears, “You’re much more than that to me, Francesca.”

Francesca pulled out of his grasp, “You can’t just play with me when you’re bored and drop me when you want to. That’s not fair.”

“I’ve never meant to do that,” Ethan had never been so desperate to make someone believe him. She had to know the truth. She had to know that she was everything to him.

“Don’t do this, Ethan.” Her voice was a warning, “There is no longer a fucking moral code. You’re not my boss anymore, hell I’m not even an intern right now.” Francesca wiped at another tear that slid down her cheek, betrayed by her own emotional response, “The only thing keeping you away from me is you. At least be honest with that.”

He stopped and stared at her as the words played over and over again in Ethan’s head. You’re not my boss anymore, formed a soundtrack to his epiphany. He stood rooted to the floor, processing the obvious truth and struggling to understand how he had failed to recognize it before. He could only surmise that his identity was so defined by his role at the hospital, that even more than a week after leaving, he hadn’t fully been able to let it go. 

“I’m not your boss anymore…” Ethan voiced his revelation, and though she was furious with him, it made her heart skip a beat when Francesca searched his shocked expression and realized he had honestly never considered the full change in their dynamic. 

Ethan looked at her tear-stained face searching his and stepped forward, covering the distance that separated them in an instant. His hands cupped her cheek as he leaned his forehead to hers, meeting her eyes as she felt the comforting warmth of his breath on her skin. 

He was finally free.

“I’m so sorry. You’re right, of course, you’re right. And I do want you. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you.”

Francesca’s lips parted in a surprised gasp and she stared up at him, trying to prove to herself that she’d actually heard him correctly. Then recognizing the sudden and complete change in his demeanor she responded, “I’m right here, nothing is stopping us anymore.”

He kissed her. A deep, bruising kiss that held his emotions of months and months of waiting and pain and self-denial. As he lost himself in her touch, she knew that this time, he was hers.

Ethan started to undo her jeans, his hands skimming her skin he helped her out of them. Once she was down to her underwear and bra, he pulled her back to him, their bodies so close that they practically breathed as one. He slid his hands down to her thighs and lifted her so that her legs wrapped around him once more, welcoming him closer as he renewed his kisses. Her hand slid through his hair as he carried her. Close wasn’t close enough for either of them, and Ethan laughed softly into her lips when Francesca tightened her grip on him as he made his way to the bedroom.

Once there she pulled on his lower lip and whispered, “Let me down…”

Ethan begrudgingly allowed her to unwrap her legs from his body, and gently put her down on the floor without daring to break their kiss.

He felt her smirk against his lips as she unzipped his pants and toyed with the waistband of his boxers. Ethan’s muscles froze as he felt her hand so tantalizingly close. She relished the effect she had on him as she slowly pushed his clothes down and brushed her fingertips along his stiffened member before she wrapped her hand completely around him and gently stroked.

“Francesca…” Ethan’s voice was breathless and Francesca smiled with pride.

“Yes?” She raised an eyebrow, licking her lips as if offering an invitation.

He pulled her in for another kiss and then moved her hand from him. He wanted to make this all about her. He started kissing his way downward, his lips brushed the rise of her breasts, his stubble scratched at her skin, sending a pleasant shiver up her spine.

She giggled, “Your stubble tickles.”

Ethan rubbed his chin, smiling ruefully, “I should shave.”

Francesca’s eyes playfully narrowed as she insisted, “Don’t you dare. I like it”

Their lips met again as Ethan stood and guided her to his bed, moving her until she was against the back of his mattress. She looked at him seductively standing in her black lace bra and panties.

“What are you planning on doing with me now that our clothes are out of the way?”

He grinned as he pushed her softly so she fell back onto the bed. Her lustful eyes locked on him, her arms waiting to pull him to her, to have him close again. He leaned over her, trailing a thumb over her cheek, resting it on her lips. She caught it between her teeth, thrilled at the hungry way he looked at her. 

“What do you want me to do with you, Francesca?”

She released his thumb, “Come to bed, right now.”

Ethan considered her invitation and then to her surprise, whispered, “Not yet…”

Francesca’s expression of exasperation made him chuckle.

“Patience is a virtue, Dr. Houseman, and I want us to remember every single moment of this…” 

Ethan’s lips grazed her shoulder, his hands lifting her just enough to unclasp her black bra. Francesca shrugged out of it, goosebumps forming on her skin as the cold air washed over her. Ethan’s tender kisses moved across her collarbone and paused on her neck when he found a spot that made her squirm before he moved down her chest.

His appraising eye marveled at her body as his hands roamed her curves, beginning at her hips until they reached her breasts, meeting his mouth there. He cupped and tenderly massaged one breast while he used his tongue to caress the other, teasing until his lips captured her stiffened nipple. Her body arched in response and he could feel his own body reacting to her perfect, perfect moan…

“Ethan…” Francesca was growing impatient, hands in his hair, her desperation to feel him heightened.

But once more, he whispered, “Patience…”

His mouth began to move lower, he appreciated each inch of her skin as he navigated her torso. His tantalizingly scratchy kisses make her tingle wherever his lips met her skin, causing her to gasp and giggle. 

Ethan revered her body, retreating lower and spreading her legs as he approached her apex. He lavished his attention on her inner thighs, kissing and nibbling as the woman beneath him writhed in delight.

“Please…” her whisper was hoarse with desire, and finally, Ethan relented.

With his thumbs hooked on either side of her panties, Ethan’s kiss diverted from her thigh and gently met the edges of the thin fabric. He kissed along her lace seams, hinting at what was to come. Francesca bit her lip, still partially astonished that she was finally with Ethan like this and that he was touching her there. It made her stomach flip as she watched him. 

Taking his sweet time, he peeled off her panties and placed a long, lazy lick along the spot she craved him the most. His tongue circled her nub as he appreciated her sweet taste. Her hips bucked against his mouth, her fingers tugging on his hair as she wordlessly begged for friction and pressure. Ethan delivered, his adept fingers slid inside of her and he watched as she fell apart when he curled it to brush against her secret spot, “Oh my god, oh my god, Ethan please...”

Francesca’s eyes moistened as she rose to her peak and he could feel it in her body before she made any sound – the pink flush to her skin, her writhing beneath his tongue, the desperation in her bated breath, her muscles tensing around his fingers. Her breath caught as she approached her climax, and Ethan watched her in awe, catching her gaze as she completely lost control.

“E-Ethan,” she pleaded, gasping for breath... “Oh god yes!”

Francesca shuddered and cried out as her orgasm lit her body on fire, each nerve ending consumed in euphoric heat. For several moments she could not think or move, only feel the pleasure as it raged through her body. Slowly coming down from her peak, a satisfied smile spread across her face as she whispered, “Ethan. Freaking. Ramsey…” His name now forever a chant of indulgence.

“Jonah, actually,” Ethan smirked, moving up to look at her, and she raised her eyebrows in confusion, “My name is Ethan Jonah Ramsey, though I suppose ‘Freaking’ works as well.”

Her laughter was muted by his kiss, full of heat and promise and she was instantly lost again in his touch – in him. Their fingers intertwined as Ethan moved over her, effortlessly shifting her farther onto the bed as he knelt between her legs. She waited with obvious desperation, wanting him as badly as he wanted her, and neither could defer any longer. His patience had run out.

He pushed his length along her tight dampness, slowly gaining entry “Oh my god, Ethan!” Francesca gasped as, after months of pining and waiting, they finally connected. Ethan sank deeper into her, groaning at how tightly her moist heat enveloped him, how perfectly they fit together, overwhelmed by how close they were. He sucked in his breath and exhaled her name in a voice laced with desire, “Francesca, my god.” He was no stranger to sex but the raw intimacy of this moment was new to him, and it shook him to his core. Her fingertips brushed along his cheek, as she met his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

Ethan’s pace started slow and careful, each thrust timed to make Francesca think she couldn’t wait any longer and then he reignited her body when he returned to her. Her nails dug into his broad shoulders and skimmed along his skin, gripping his ass when his pace quickened.

The pleasure mounted in Francesca’s hips as he delivered each deep, toe-curling push. His mouth claimed hers, his tongue fighting for dominance over hers as her body flushed with delight.

“Ethan, I’m so close...I’m...” she whimpered against his lips but didn’t need to articulate further as she lost her breath, overwhelmed with his touch. He carefully adjusted his grip on her thighs, his thumbs leaving bruises along her skin, and he used the new leverage to drive deeper into her. Each movement was harder and more urgent than before and his lips were selfish as he continued to kiss every inch of her body that he could reach, needing to taste her, to feel her and to know that she was his.

Francesca’s skin burned with desire, unable to hold on as she started to dissolve into her climax. She was so, so close, she was about to... Francesca screamed out Ethan's name and completely shattered against him, another orgasm fiercely taking over her body.

He watched her react to his touch, felt her tighten around him, heard her cries of ecstasy - and it was all too much - “Francesca,” Ethan moaned her name as if it were sacred praise and gave all of himself to her. Stunned by the magnitude and intensity of his climax, Ethan’s forehead fell to her shoulder as he tried to catch his breath, his body sated in warm bliss.

For a moment, they just stayed like that, enjoying their gratification, enjoying each other.

Eventually, he moved out of her and pulled her beside him. Francesca tangled herself around his body and tucked her head in his chest as she listened to the thump of his heartbeat.

“We just had sex…” Francesca murmured, sounding astounded. “and it was, holy shit!” She let out a single chuckle, looking as if she couldn’t believe it.

“We did, and it was” Ethan confirmed, twirling her hair around his finger as he appraised the astounding woman in his arms. How the hell did this happen?

Something in his voice that caused her to look up at him and read his expression as concern. She tried not to panic, “Do you think it was a mistake?”

His eyes moved to hers, urgently reassuring. “No. How could I?” His hand reached for hers as he considered the situation, “But time will tell. Because the truth is, I can’t help but feel like I failed you.”

“How do you mean?” She propped herself up, lacing her fingers with his, less worried but still genuinely perplexed by his confession.

He sighed, wanting her to understand how much he wanted her and feared for her at the same time, “When I first read your application to Edenbrook, I saw the most incredible potential. And then when I met you…”

She reminded him, “You called me a slow...superficial, and an amateur.”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, “Yes actually, but still, I knew I’d been right. I knew you had it in you to be a brilliant doctor, if you just had someone to push you and challenge you.” 

He paused, “The way Naveen did for me.” Agitated, he let go of her hand, “But I let you down. I tried not to let myself fall for you…” 

“You didn’t let me down.” her words were firm but he was frustrated. He closed his eyes and then opened them, peering at her. “I did. I wanted to make you the best doctor you could be–” 

She silenced him with a tender kiss, and then took his hand and placed it to her cheek, gently brushing his knuckles with her lips.

Her voice was soft and resolute, “You did. No matter what happens...you did.” 

Ethan studied her, amazed by her sincerity and her sense of clarity. He put his hand back over hers, needing to be with her, “Stay the night.”

Francesca wasn’t sure if his invitation was a command or a question, but she couldn’t dream of leaving his bed either way.

Pretending to think it over, she tried to negotiate, “Only if you finally give me an embarrassing tee shirt to wear tomorrow,” Francesca’s eyes were now full of amusement as she teased him.

Ethan finally confessed, “I may have a secret Turkey Trot t-shirt in the back of my closet,” but his embarrassment was soon forgotten as he watched Francesca’s face light up with excitement.

“I fucking knew it,” she kissed him in victory, her arms looped around his neck. The kiss was long and languid. After they pulled away, Ethan was bothered by another thought, “Are you ready for your hearing?”

It was the last thing she wanted to think about, “I have no idea.” But then she considered, “Will you be there? Even if you can’t testify?”

“Do you want me there?”

With every fiber of her being. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll be there”. Ethan kissed the top of her head, “Just don’t give up, don’t you dare give up.”

He was just about to fall asleep when a small whisper lured him away from slumber.

“Ethan?” Her momentary pause made him think she had drifted off but then her heartfelt plea broke the short silence, “Please don’t leave me…” and there was fear in Francesca’s voice as if she was waiting for him to run away at any moment. The sound wrecked him.

“I won’t,” he whispered, “I promise.”

CHAPTER FIVE

[summerseachild]

Summersea’s GoT Season 4 Rewatch 2019

Otherwise known as: “The Long Slow Slide to D and D Running Out of Material from the Books”

4x01: 

1. The visuals of Ice getting melted down are SO PRETTY (while RoC plays on the background 😎 living my best Lannister Life over here.)

2. Jaime getting the sword and trying NOT to be Lord of Casterly Rock and HOLY SHIT TELLING TYWIN NO and getting away with it.

3. Tyrion is trying so hard to greet the Dornish politely... poor guy.

4. It’s pride month so I’m just pointing out that Oberyn is soooo biiiii and This Bi Girl loves him. And him playing with the flame and Ellaria trying to stop him from killing the Lannister who insulted him... I just love their dynamic.

5. Drogon is just a big happy dragon-Cat and in Dany’s first appearance of this season. He PURRS.

6. I love Jaime and Cersei’s scene with Jaime’s new hand. They snipe at each other, but it is SO how they interact.

7. Jon and Sansa reacting to Robb’s death :(

8. GUESS WHO DID NOT MISS JANOS SLYNT OR ALLISER THORNE AT ALL THATS RIGHT MEEEE. Also Alliser is Peter Knox in a Discovery of Witches so I just HATE HIS FACE.

9. TREAT THAT BOOK MORE CAREFULLY JOFFREY YOU LITTLE SHIT and treat your uncle more nicely too. Jaime looks a little taken aback at what a little turd his oldest has become, but handles it well I think.

10. Jaime and Brienne trying to sort out how to keep his vow to Catelyn 🤣

11. YES ARYA GET NEEDLE BACK. Also Sandor being like NO CHILD COME BACK HERE DO NOT RUSH INTO DANGER WITHOUT ME is precious.

12. Sandor Clegane saying FUCK THE KING gives me such satisfaction

13. I should not be so happy about Arya re-enacting the time when Polliver

14. But I am happy that Sandor got his chickens

4x02

1. So I had forgotten that the girls who were in the scene where Theon gets cut are Myranda and the girl Ramsay is hunting later. I remembered how much I hate the Myranda thing real quick, though.

2. I love Tyrion being understanding of Jaime’s disability because HE WOULD BE. Also Tyrion pouring wine on the table to be like “look spilling is no big deal” is PRECIOUS.

3. Bronn knocking Jaime around while sparring is a great source of joy to me.

4. Theon finds out that Robb is dead when he’s got a RAZOR TO RAMSAY’S THROAT I can’t with Alfie’s face.

5. Every time I see Joffrey chop that book in half I want the purple wedding to be right now.

6. Tyrion trying to make Shae leave :...(

7. KEEP AWAY FROM SHIREEN, RED WOMAN, said Davos probably a lot

8. Question: why don’t the direwolves being food BACK to the hungry humans? Especially when Bran can warg into them?

9. So I want to go through every frame of that vision Bran has with the weirwood because the one we haven’t seen before is a Dragons over King’s Landing. Those ARE THE ROOFS YOU SEE IN THE NEXT SHOT FOR THE WEDDING.

10. Haha oh right this IS the purple wedding ep ooops I’d almost forgot. Not sorry for wishing death on Joffrey but sorry for Cersei’s sake and everyone else it fucks over.

11. Loras having eye sex with Oberyn cracks me up I mean they both have eyes and good gaydar... (bi-dar? queer-dar?)

12. Is Margaery... flirting with Brienne? Or is that just Margaery’s personality?

13. JAIME’S FACE when he sees Brienne and Cersei talking is SO FUNNY he’s like shit shit shit DANGER

14. What did Qyburn DO for Cersei that she is recommending to other women? She told him symptoms were gone in a previous ep in a weird mysterious way... did he help her end a pregnancy?? How long has it BEEN since Blackwater? This never comes back again but I’m super curious. 

15. Oberyn has zero chill around Tywin and I love it.

16. Margaery looking like she is is going to murder someone during the war of the five Kings show is A Mood. (I mean... there IS about to be a murder.)

17. I don’t think the Tyrells planned it but Joffrey being a shit and making Tyrion touch his wine goblet and SANSA TOUCHING IT TOO played right into their hands.

4x03: oh brother here comes altar sex

1. I want very much for Hector Barbossa to be waiting at the top of that ladder for Sansa after approaching the ship and the creepy fog. But no it’s Petyr Baelish. Ew.

2. Hello new Tommen! Good to see you again after Karstark killed your identical cousin! Also Tywin being like GOOD KINGS ARE SMART AND LISTEN TO THEIR SMART ADVISORS. (That moment when a sitting US president needs to listen to Tywin. Scary?)

3. Altar sex has not aged well for me. I’m not a J/C shipper who thinks they’ve got a healthy relationship that’s all sunshine and kitties. I know the two of them have a messed up dynamic, but this scene misses the mark in so many ways and I hate it. I wish they would have left it out rather than done it wrong. (Also I think it was a tryout for me for “can you get a valonqar scene right?” And the answer was a resounding NO.)

4. Speaking of healthy relationships though Sam and Gilly are cute and sweet and awkward and everything that is good and pure in this world.

5. And so is Davos telling Shireen about his smuggling adventures.

6. Oberyn sat his beautiful self right in the middle of the Kinsey scale and said THE VIEW IS GREAT HERE. What an icon. Also offering Tywin fricking Lannister a seat on the bed where you were just having sex with like FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE was A Move.

7. Tywin TELLS OBERYN ABOUT DANY and Oberyn looks like this is the first he’s heard of it.

8. Tyrion saying goodbye to Pod gave me a decent sized lump in my throat.

9. Daario taking down the Champion Of Meereen with one thrown dagger and one slash of a sword is sexy as fuck and I don’t care who knows I think so.

4x04

1. Missandei teaching Grey Worm and just hanging out with him is so important to me this time around.

2. Jaime and Bronn are weird friends and I kind of love it.

3. The Kingslayer Brothers: coming soon to a stage near you. I’d buy that band’s shirt.

4. Olenna Tyrell is a STONE COLD LADY and I love that about her. She protected her granddaughter and I respect that.

5. That is A LOT OF WINE IN THAT GLASS Cersei my love. Also Jaime TRYING to convince her Tyrion didn’t do it hurts me. He loves them both so much, but they all hurt each other.

6. Ser Pounce is a big fluff like my Freya!

7. OATHKEEPER AND THE WHITE BOOK AND THE ARMOR. Brienne’s face is so pure when he gives it to her.

8. I had near forgotten all of this stuff at the wall with Olly and Jon and the cannibals and the mutineers at Craster’s and waiting for Mance’s army. (We know where my heart is though, don’t we...)

9. SIT DOWN LOCKE. I forgot that human shitstain showed up at the wall looking for Bran.

10. We didn’t need the mutineer plot. What did it add? What did we learn about the world or its people? Nothing we didn’t already know. What. Was. The. Point. We’d already seen the walkers and knew about the babies, we knew the world was violent and classist. WE KNEW.

11. I love when Summer is like HELLO BROTHER GHOST OH NO A TRAP

12. The white walker riding across the frozen lake... what a gorgeous image, and the ice henge...

13. WHAT DO THE BLUE EYED ICE BABIES GROW UP TO BEEEEE DO WE EVEN KNOW

4x05

1. I’d say long live King Tommen, but I’d cry.

2. Cersei is beauty she is grace she wants to punch Margaery in the face. (But actually is acting like she might need Margaery to help Tommen? That scene was hard to read.)

3. Meereen has a lot of cool geometrical carvings.

4. Dany thinking about what kind of ruler she wants to be and what responsibilities she has to the people she freed? THAT IS WHO SHE IS, D AND D YOU DICKS.

5. Sansa’s like “greeeeeaaaaat another creepy little kid” when she meets Robin.

6. And Lysa lets it ALL OUT about what Petyr has had her do... wow.

7. Cersei is going along with the Tyrell marriages way too easily what is her game.

8. Tywin is... almost treating his daughter like someone he can trust and have a conversation with? What is this?

9. And then there’s the stupidity about the mines running out. Wtf.

10. Arya is a little drama queen with saying the Hound’s name last while HE WAS LISTENING.

11. Lysa is SO DAMAGED. Poor Sansa.

12. Aw Brienne you don’t know what a loyal kid you’ve got in Podrick give him a chance.

13. Arya practicing water dancing is so cool.

14. Cersei and Oberyn talking is actually really interesting. And they talk about Myrcella :....( and Oberyn is TELLING THE TRUTH about her being happy.

15. Cersei got her A BOAT for her birthday because she LIKES THE OPEN WATER I had forgotten that and I am freaking out for fic reasons because of fics I haven’t written yet that involve Myrcella being good at boats.

16. Geez Pod I don’t know how to skin a rabbit but I know you need to before you cook it. And... does Brienne actually need help with that armor, or does she realize Pod needs to feel useful? I’m going with the second.

17. I had forgotten how creepy Jojen’s visions were.

18. Bran warging into Hodor and killing Locke is... problematic, but Bran had every reason to think Locke was going to kill him. Good fucking riddance.

19. Jon being happy to see Ghost XD

20. So... there’s just a troop of Crasters daughters out there still? Idek.

4x06 the laws of gods and men (and by men we mean Tywin)

1. Braavos is so pretty! I love her. I love her canals, I love the Titan, I love the domes, I just love her.

2. I remember when people lost their shit over Mark Gattis being in this episode. He is quite good here, and Davos is quite clever.

3. Salador’s joke about the red shirt is FUNNY and I’m not afraid to say so.

4. No one wants to see Ramsay having sex.

5. EVERYONE wants to see Yara giving a great speech.

6. She... ran from some dogs when she was burying her axe in dudes’ GUTS five seconds earlier? LAAAAAAME. Yes yes she also saw how fucked up in the head Theon was (more awards Alfie deserved and didn’t get), and she did want to lose any more people when he wasn’t willing to come but the way this was cut it reads like she was all OH NO DOGS which is the stupidest thing ever. 

7. NOOOO POOR GOATS. I get that dragons have to eat though...

8. I cannot believe Dany didn’t take the time to FIND OUT WHICH MEEREENESE WERE LESS TERRIBLE. They would have been fucking allies. BUT NO LET’S JUST CRUCIFY PEOPLE WITH NO IDEA OF THE NUANCES OF THE LOCAL SITUATION. What stupidity.

9. At least she’s trying to learn??? She’s so small on that throne in a huge room. What a great shot.

10. Oberyn is a bisexual who CANNOT SIT IN A CHAIR NORMALLY. I am not complaining.

11. I cannot see the scene of Jaime and Tyrion walking down into the courtroom for the trial without giggling at the memory of the outtake where they dance like dorks into the room and down the aisle.

12. Jaime looking at Tyrion like YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOURSELF is a mood.

13. How did they get the poison necklace? Didn’t Littlefinger throw it in the Blackwater FAR off shore? A bit AFTER he killed Dontos? How does Pycelle have it here? Maybe they washed up together? Maybe D and D forgot Petyr tossed it in the bay? WHO KNOWS???

14. Jaime trying to convince Tywin one last time and offering to leave the kingsguard in exchange for Tyrion HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HE DID THAT. Cersei never would have spoken to him again if he’d left her and married and gone back to the Rock and given Tywin what he wanted. Jaime KNEW he was screwing over a relationship that means SO MUCH TO HIM but it’s TYRION’S LIFE we’re talking about here. That’s how much he loves his little brother. 

15. Tywin is like DONE so fast Jaime barely gets the offer out lol

16. And it all would have worked if Shae hadn’t walked through those doors.

17. Do we know WHY Shae agreed to testify to this? What did Tywin offer her or threaten her with?

18. WHAT ARE YOU DOING LITTLE BRO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS?! is Jaime’s face all the time this scene.

19. Tyrion’s “confession”is such a piece of acting wow Peter enjoy your Emmys.

4x07

1. Jeez Tyrion didn’t know Jaime COULDN’T save him. He had no idea that losing his hand had affected his abilities that badly. That... hurts.

2. Arya, Sandor, and the dying farmer is such a great scene... And Arya only killing that asshole only after Sandor learns his name for her so she knows the name of the man she’s killing.... A++ would watch again.

3. Everyone LISTEN TO JON he has seen things none of you have.

4. Tyrion finding out Bronn has been bought is so very upsetting but I love this scene.

5. But really though once Tywin named The Mountain champion, anyone who Tyrion asks to be his champion at this point he’s basically asking to die.

6. Dany’s like “well I guess fucking Daario isn’t going to cause a political disaster at least.”

7. I had forgotten how fascinating Selyse and Melisandre’s interactions are.

8. IS THAT SETTING UP BURNING SHIREEN FUCK THAT.

9. Dany is capable of nuanced thought when it comes to innocence and guilt of whole groups of people and WE JUST SAW IT with how Jorah changes her mind and I’m JUST SO ANGRY.

10. That is the only time we get the story of Sandor and the fire from his own mouth and I did not mean to be this moved.

11. Hot Pie talking about food (oh yeah and Arya) is so precious. And now I want steak and kidney pie. With gravy.

12. “Using honest feelings to do dishonest work is one of her greatest talents.” The truest thing Tyrion has ever said about Cersei.

13. What a great snow castle. Too bad Joffrey part 2 knocked it down.

14. Ew ew ew Petyr kissing Sansa is so skeevy and gross.

15. “A great deal might change between now and never” is a great line though.

16. I hate Petyr but it’s good he pushed Lysa out the Moon Door before she killed Sansa.

4x08

1. Jon and Co all reminding Sam that Gilly is a survivor is so great. Brotherhood at its best.

2. Missandei and Grey Worm are young people with old souls and their relationship is precious to me.

3. Alfie is SO GOOD at showing how deeply Ramsay has him under his control even when he’s alone with the Ironborn.

4. Petyr is part Braavosi? Fascinating.

5. Sansa TOLD the Lords of Vale who she was??? Her testimony is such a good bit of acting on Sansa’s part. It’s a lie hidden in a lot of truth, and she was QUICK to think it through and come up with it.

6. Jorah telling Dany about the pardon is a scene that breaks my heart. 💔 She is HARSH here but I love the full blown Targaryen on display.

7. Roose being like TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE like the Lion King cracks me up so hard.

8. I will never give Ramsay the Bolton name in anything I write as long as I am a fan of this show out of pure hatred. He is Ramsay Snow forever and always.

9. I remember I was so worried that they were going to have Petyr try to sexually assault Sansa. OH I WAS A SWEET SUMMER CHILD.

10. Arya laughing at the news of Lady Arryn’s Death is an immensely human reaction and I love that she just CANNOT STOP.

11. I know people hated that scene with Jaime and Tyrion talking about beetles but I have two takeaways: first, a septon tried to touch Jaime once???? Headcanon: Little Jaime looked that septon dead in the eye and said “my father wouldn’t like that” and it never happened again. The septon was summarily replaced. Second: Jaime has never thought about ANYTHING in his whole life as deeply as baby Tyrion thought about beetles.

12. Oberyn is so fun to watch fight and Jaime agrees with me.

13. You don’t need him to confess Oberyn really you don’t you GOT HIM my beautiful prince.

14. How did the Gods make their will known if BOTH champions killed each other dead, huh Tywin? (The Mountain is... less Dead?)

4x09

1. Sam mulling over the legalistic interpretation of their vows and Jon trying to explain what sex and love are like are both SO CUTE.

2. I love that everyone around that fire has heard the “Tormund fucked a bear” story and I’m kind of sorry Ygritte didn’t let him finish.

3. Maester Aemon revealing his Targaryen identity was lovely. Also Sam Cussing to get Gilly in the gate= AMAZING

4. Alliser Thorne ADMITTING HE WAS WRONG? I am dead of shock.

5. Sam and Pyp talking about fear and bravery is... so darling.

6. They have A GIANT RIDING A MAMMOTH and I will forgive a small amount of nonsense for giving me that image.

7. See Alliser looking at the horn blower like REALLY? IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF MY SPEECH? Before they realize it’s the horn at Castle Black is PRICELESS.

8. Speaking of which I may not like Alliser but he gives a good “let’s not die” speech.

9. Bless Grenn for getting Janos Slynt off the wall.

10. Pyp dying in Sam’s arms was not something I was ready for.

11. You’ve heard of horsepower... now get ready for MAMMOTH POWER (wildling used mammoth salesmen probably)

12. Sam remembering that being NICE to Olly when asking to go up the wall rather than just screaming at him is... telling.

13. Grenn is THE BEST KID AND I LOVE HIM

14. Ghost is going to EAT SOME WILDLINGS

15. Ygritte :...(

16. How is Tormund even ALIVE??? He’s like a frickin PIN CUSHION.

17. “They held the gate” is a line that will make me cry now. Grenn and co. Didn’t let that giant through :...(

3x10: back when D and D remembered the Children existed that one time

Also back when Jaime had a plan that didn’t end with ANY OF HIS FAMILY KILLING EACH OTHER BUT TYWIN ENDS UP DEAD ANYWAY WHY ARE WE LIKE THIS.

1. Jon deciding single-handedly that he’s going to KILL Mance Rayder. Boss move.

2. Oh FFS. Pull the stick out of your ass Stannis and let Mance be.

3. Qyburn is like “out of my way bitch I’m doing necromancy”

4. Cersei telling Tywin the truth to get out of Marrying Loras is... still... making my jaw drop and I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO DO IT. And there’s ACTUAL EMOTION on Tywin’s face and EVERYTHING SHE SAYS ABOUT PAYING SOME REAL FUCKING ATTENTION TO HIS FAMILY IS TRUE

5. Ah yes “Jaime writes his family’s dialogue” part one. I CHOOSE YOU OMG AND SEX IN THE LORD COMMANDER’S OFFICE I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT. Even if I’m still on the fence about whether Jaime would be ok with doing it THERE I’m mostly on board because she JUST TOLD DAD THE TRUTH AND TOLD HIM HE WAS THE ONE SHE WANTED AND I DON’T KNOW WHO LET THE SHIPPERS WRITE THIS SCENE BUT YAY.

6. Dany is still learning all kinds of nuance... I feel like the year contract thing was an attempt to balance her need to be a liberator and the reality on the ground?

7. You are telling me that the Dany who was that upset at Drogon eating ONE child let him burn a WHOLE CITY? I call bullshit.

8. Also this is a CLASSIC example of “one sibling does something wrong and the other two get punished for it” poor Viserion and Rhaegal.

9. Maester Aemon knows how to give a mass eulogy.

10. MEANWHILE NORTH OF THE NORTH HI BRAN meet the hugest weirwood in Westeros AND SOME ICE ZOMBIES

11. POOR MEERA I FORGOT SHE HAD TO HELP JOJEN DIE

12. If the children can do that WHERE ARE THEY LATER

13. holy shit bloodraven is creepy

14. Arya and Brienne meeting :) so cute

15. And Sandor being like YOU ARE TOO NAIVE TO PROTECT HER is cute in its own way.

16. Wow Brienne and Sandor really knock the shit out of each other how are they still alive.

17. Sandor saying awful things to Arya to make it easier for her to kill him was tragic and you can see the desperation in his eyes even as he says the worst of it.

18. JAIME LANNISTER MAKES DECISIONS HE WILL REGRET LATER LIKE NOT GOING ALL OF THE WAY TO THE BOAT WITH TYRION

19. I Had forgotten how rough that last conversation between Tywin and Tyrion was and how devastating those performances are.

20. Varys being like oh fuck those bells I’m going too... prescient.

21. Love the music with Arya on the ship to Braavos!

[dragonologist-phd]

That’s The Spirit!

Wrote a fun modern AU for my Watchers Desta and Rudi in honor of the upcoming holiday and the @pillarspromptsweekly prompt: Spooky. It’s not actually spooky at all, but since one of my favorite Halloween activities is binge-watching Buzzfeed Unsolved, I thought I’d give my Watchers their own kind-of-a-crossover ghost-hunting fun. (Also here on AO3)

“This has got to be the stupidest thing we have ever done.”

“This is far from the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.”

Rudi turned and raised an eyebrow at Desta. “What I mean,” Desta clarified, “is that this is not stupid. Kana knows what he’s talking about.”

“I’m not worried about whether Kana got the history right, I’m worried about the police showing up and arresting us. Especially since we’re about to take video of us breaking in and then post it on the internet. I define that as pretty stupid.”

“It’s not breaking in if nobody lives here!” Desta dropped her voice an octave and said in a low, spooky tone, “But just because nobody lives here doesn’t mean it’s empty.”

Rudi looked like she wanted to argue but wasn’t sure which point to start with. Desta took advantage of her hesitation and turned to face the camera. “Ready?”

“One moment,” Aloth said, fiddling with the controls. Rudi shook her head in resignation and positioned herself next to Desta. Desta wasn’t fooled; for all of Rudi’s griping and eye-rolling, she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to be. Desta doubted there was anyone, alive or dead, that could make Rudi do something she didn’t want to do.

Case in point- even though she was tapping her foot impatiently, Rudi couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she surveyed the insides of the old mansion. The building was old, one of the oldest in town, and poorly cared for. Old, mismatched furniture littered the rooms and hallways, creating a cluttered maze-like environment caked in at least an inch of dust. Every now and then, a gust of wind would sneak through the holes in the roof or the cracked windows, sending a chill down Desta’s spine.

She wondered if Rudi felt the same strange chill. She must, because she kept pulling her thick red flannel tighter around herself, although she would probably say that was just the weather. But Aloth didn’t seem bothered; he wasn’t even wearing a jacket. Desta found it a little distracting, to be honest, but she also took it as a sign that perhaps the spirits were more focused on the two ghost-hunters. Perhaps tonight the they would finally reveal themselves. It was Halloween, after all- what better timing could there be?

“You know, if we wanted to,” Rudi said as her dark eyes swept over their surroundings, “we could set up a pretty sweet haunted house in here. We could actually make money and scare people, for a change.”

Desta threw her arms out, exasperated. “We’re in a literal haunted mansion. There are real ghosts here. How is this not better than bad acting and fake blood?”

“Bad acting and fake blood is entertaining. The ‘real ghosts’ you think are there when you’re yelling at nothing…” Rudi considered her own words for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s still entertaining. But in a different way.”

“Save the banter for the show,” Aloth called. Rudi scowled at him, but Desta shot her the best be nice look she could muster. They couldn’t afford to scare off the only person willing to act as cameraman for free.

To be honest, Desta was still a bit mystified by Aloth’s continued presence at their investigations. He claimed he was there to be a neutral presence, and yes, Desta and Rudi did have a tendency to go on rambling, argumentative tangents when left to their own devices. But it was still strange that he volunteered his free nights to follow them around with a camera and listen to them bicker about ghosts.

Whatever the reason, Desta was glad. Their first few videos had been taken on cellphones and were next to useless. She was still livid about the time that her phone had run out of memory right before a ghostly voice whispered in her ear. According to Rudi, Desta’s own account of the incident didn’t count as ‘proof’.

And it was just nice to have Aloth around. He at least listened to Desta’s theories without laughing. And despite the occasional nervous comment or look of trepidation, he hadn’t yet been scared off by the strange things they investigated.

At last, he lifted the camera and gave Desta a nod. “We’re ready.”

 “Tonight, we’re investigating the infamous Maerwald Mansion, an abandoned home that’s seen more than its share of history- and if the rumors are true, some of that history is still around.”

Rudi watched quietly as Desta relayed the story to the camera. She’d the heard the urban legend too many times by now for it to truly hold her interest, but Desta had a certain theatrical approach that was enjoyable to watch. Not as good as Kana’s original telling, of course, but they had to make do while he was away at grad school. And Desta had his same enthusiasm, especially tonight. She had even dyed her hair a striking green for the occasion. She thought it made her look ‘spooky’. But between the bright sunflower patches she’d sewn onto her denim jacket and the bright smile on her face as she told the story, even a set of devil horns wouldn’t make her scary in the slightest.

“Maerwald was once a respected man in the city- heir to a great fortune, diplomat to visitors, advisor to just about every political figure on the scene. Until the day he mysteriously disappeared from society. According to accounts from the time, he stopped leaving the house completely. Rumors circulated that he had descended into madness, although no doctor was ever allowed inside the home. Food was brought in to him by the only servant he had not fired, and despite attempts to draw him out, this arrangement remained in place for months.”

“And then it gets weirder. The servant was seen entering the mansion one night- and was never seen again. People began reported hearing strange, unnatural noises coming from the mansion at night. At last the police entered by force. But when they were finally entered the house…” Desta dropped her voice and spread her hands wide. “He had completely vanished. No trace of him was ever found. Since then, the house has passed through multiple hands, but every owner has encountered only misfortune and tragedy. Now it sits unused and empty- or so it would seem.”

Rudi fought not to roll her eyes at the last statement. This was why she didn’t do introductions- apparently, she always sounded ‘too sarcastic’. Desta, however, continued with a conviction that could only be genuine.

“Angry spirits have been reported to inhabit this house for decades. Countless incidents have been reported since Maerwald’s disappearance. We’re here to see if we can get one of those incidents on tape.”

“Look, there’s no big mystery here,” Rudi cut in. “This Maerwald dude was just a weird old guy who became a hermit and probably killed his servant.”

“And no bodies were ever found? How does a ‘weird old guy’ pull that off?”

“Maybe the police were lazy!” Desta scoffed, and Rudi held up her hands defensively. “It’s more believable than ‘ghosts got him’!”

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that by the end of the night,” Desta said, giving the camera a knowing smile. Rudi glanced toward the camera herself and shook her head. She knew how the night would end- they would see nothing, and Desta would still insist the place was full of spirits. At least the internet would get a laugh.

 “Now, remember,” Desta said as the group entered the master bedroom. “The spirits in this house are supposed to particularly angry, especially in this room. We should still try a peaceful approach, of course, but we need to prepared to defend ourselves if need be.”

“Sorry, I used my salt packet on the fries I had for lunch.”

Desta crossed her arms. “One day you’re going to get possessed, and you’ll think oh, if only I had listened to Desta and made a salt circle before summoning that spirit!” She heard Rudi unsuccessfully try to stifle a laugh, and chose to ignore it. “Anyway, that’s not what I meant. Considering the strength of the spirits at play here, I took the liberty of bringing this.”

Desta reached into her duffle bag and with a flourish produced a metal baseball bat. Aloth raised a concerned eyebrow. Rudi burst into laughter.

“Are you planning to beat the shit out of a ghost with a baseball bat? How does that even work?”

Desta bristled defensively. “It’s iron! Iron repels ghosts, that’s common knowledge.”

“I think that’s fairies,” Aloth stage whispered. Rudi dissolved into another fit of laughter.

“What? It’s ghosts, too, isn’t it?” Desta frowned and made mental note to ask Kana next time she saw him. “I swear, it works on ghosts, too. Ugh, this was so much cooler in my head. Maybe I should have just brought holy water…”

“No! This is great!” Rudi was beaming, her hands clasped together in delight. “Can I go get the brass knuckles from my car?”

“Iron! Brass knuckles wouldn’t work, and why the hell do you have them?!”

“Anniversary gift from Maia. And if you get a bat, I should get my knuckles. The only thing that might be enjoyable about meeting a ghost would be getting to fight it.”

“That’s not the point!” Desta protested. This was getting off track quickly- the whole point of this was to try and communicate with the spirits. “I have the bat because you clearly want to start I fight. I want to try diplomacy first. This is just… backup.”

Desta knew she was in trouble from the way Rudi smirked. “No, no, you came prepared with a weapon. I think you want to fight the ghosts as much as I do.” She tilted her head back and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Hear, that ghouls? Desta’s ready to fuck you up!”

“No! You put that aggressive energy right back where it came from-”

“Too late! It’s out there, and you’re going to have to fend off Maerwald’s ghost with a baseball bat.” Rudi snorted and began to poke around the room, stopping occasionally to call out more insults into the air. A futile feeling began to creep over Desta as she watched her. Eventually, she turned and shook her head at Aloth.

“She’s going to get us killed.”

 Nothing had jumped from the shadows to try and eat their souls yet, but Desta was still looking nervous and clutching her bat as they inspected the room. Rudi couldn’t suppress the occasional sarcastic remark that escaped when she glanced behind her and saw the other girl peering into the darkness with suspicion.

Desta could say whatever she wanted; Rudi knew the worst thing they’d find would by ugly furniture and splinters. Her flashlight swept over rotting floorboards, dusty shelves full of knick-knacks, and a large, rather imposing chair. The chair was admittedly kind of cool, and even a little creepy- it had throne-like feel that wouldn’t be out of place in an old-fashioned vampire movie.

“Look at this,” Rudi said, motioning Aloth over. “You think Maerwald’s ghost would be mad if I sat in his chair?” She walked over, making to sit as Desta began to protest.

“Don’t touch the- ah!”

The high-pitched yelp rang out just as Rudi touched the chair, and she immediately leapt back up in alarm. Desta was, who had been moving forward to grab her, had stopped in her tracks. She had a flashlight in one hand and her bat in the other, and was pointing them both at a dusty marble bust. She brandished the bat as if it were a sword, readying herself against whatever spirits she thought were in the air. “It moved!”

“…What now?” Rudi asked.

Desta’s eyes didn’t leave the statue. “I saw it. I swear to you, that head moved when I walked by.”

Now that was a bold claim. Rudi approached the statue, swatting Desta’s bat out of the way. She peered closely at it, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Just a marble bust- a woman, Rudi thought, although it was hard to be certain through the wear and tear. The inscription was chipped and caked in dust, and Rudi could only make a few letters.

All in all, a totally normal thing to find in a decrepit mansion. “I think your imagination ran away with you on this one.”

“No! No it did not! We can review the footage later, that head is in a different position- don’t touch it!”

Rudi tapped the side of the statue’s head. It was cold and solid and certainly not capable of movement. “Seriously, Desta, you’re losing it.”

But Desta remained insistent, hovering near the statue and asking it a few questions about the house. No answers came, of course, but she was still didn’t take her eyes off of it until they moved on and left the room.

 Desta had her proof that the spirits in this house were active, and Rudi not believing her didn’t change that. But after her encounter with the statue, they seemed subdued. The only other startling thing that happened that night was when Rudi opened an old cabinet and inadvertently disturbed a nest that was housing approximately a million spiders. Not supernatural, but it was a bit gratifying to hear Rudi’s scream.

Still, the lost potential of the statue stung. What they needed were those fancy helmet-cams, so she wouldn’t keep having these misses. But those were expensive, and besides, she liked having Aloth around as their cameraman.

“You believe me about the statue, right?” she asked him later that night as they packed up the camera equipment together.

His looked reluctant as he considered his answer. “I believe you thought you saw something,” he said finally, as diplomatically as possible.

“Aw, come on!”

He shrugged apologetically. “It’s difficult to believe that the laws of physics were unexplainably broken without some sort of evidence towards it. Maybe you saw something, but it’s not necessarily a supernatural sighting.”

“So you’re on Rudi’s side, then.”

“Well, no.” He paused, as if ruminating on his next words. “I’ve experienced… strange things, myself. I’m sure there are things in the world that we can’t understand or explain. But I would like better support for it than possible glimpses of moving statues.”

Desta mused over that thought. “Okay, fine. We didn’t get it on tape, so there’s plausible deniability as far as proof goes. Maybe we should go the more ‘scientific’ route. EMF’s, temperature measurements, that sort of thing. How much would it cost to get our hands on those?”

“Perhaps we can borrow some. I’m sure Ydwin has equipment like that.”

“Really?”

“Well, you’ve met her. Do you think that she doesn’t?”

“Fair enough. Although you should let me ask her- I’m pretty sure she’s still holding a grudge for that weird thesis dispute you two had.”

“…Fair enough.”

Desta grinned and playfully bumped her shoulder against Aloth’s. “Look at us! Our little show is getting professional! You and I should partner up against Rudi- you attack on the science side, I attack on the spirit side. We’d be unstoppable!”

A blush colored Aloths cheeks, and Desta remembered that he could be a bit camera-shy. She quickly added, “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to! A behind-the-scenes science expert is just as good!”

Aloth’s ears were still red, but he shrugged and said, “Perhaps I could make a guest appearance.”

 Rudi watched Desta and Aloth from across the room, trying not to make retching noises at the cheesy scene the two were putting on. Desta was very good at seeing ghosts and ghouls that weren’t there, but was apparently blind to the obvious signs right in front of her. There was a reason Aloth kept volunteering for these investigations, and it was the same reason he wasn’t wearing a jacket tonight, despite the chill in the air. Wouldn’t want to hide those arms from Desta, would he? From the not-so-subtle looks Desta kept shooting his way, the desired effect had been achieved.

If only one of them would actually do something about it.

A buzzing in Rudi’s pocket alerted her to a new text. She fished her phone out and grinned when she saw the new message from Maia.

Movies and popcorn are ready and waiting. Bust any ghosts yet?

Rudi typed out a quick reply. No ghosts, but I did meet a lovely demonic spirit that wants to possess my mortal body for nefarious purposes.

A momentary pause, as three dots popped onto the screen. That’s kinda hot.

Rudi laughed out loud to herself, and went to tell the two lovebirds to hurry up. They could continue their oblivious flirting later; Rudi had a night of watching horror movies and spooning with her girlfriend to get to.

As she approached, Desta gave her a scheming look, and Rudi knew immediately that she wouldn’t like what Desta was about to say next.

“Rudi, have you ever heard of this thing called a ‘spirit box’?”

[fandomoniumflurry]

But You, Dean Winchester

Dean Winchester x Angel!Reader, Sam, Castiel

This is for my Secret Santa, @jesswaywardangel Hope you enjoy this!! this was a challenge from @xx-multi-fandom-imagines

Little longer than I planned on at 1.4k words but hey

Warnings; just some swearing

Sometimes the Winchesters traveled in the most unusual modes of transportation. Dean’s fear of flying kept them from going on planes. Sam’s seasickness kept them from using boats. And sometimes driving the Impala just takes too long. So it’s times like that when they use their trusted angel, Castiel. With just a touch of a finger and a quick zap, they could be anywhere they wanted to be. Once they got used to it, it wasn’t an unpleasant way to go. It was the quickest way to go, that’s for sure. Sam was always more than willing to travel by angel where Dean still preferred Baby.

Of course, Castiel was their one tried and true way to travel overseas. Not that they did it much but this holiday season had called for it. The cold air bit through their flannel and army jackets the moment they appeared on the Scottish coast. It was already dusk on this side of the world and the absence of the sun made the weather far more rigid than when they left Kansas. Dean hugged his coat around him after folding his collar up to protect his ears. Sam had shoved his hands in his pocket after ducking his head down into the green colored fabric.

“You couldn’t have appeared in, I don’t know, say somewhere warm?” Dean grumbled, a brow raising as he turned his head toward the angel. Cas simply wrinkled his forehead at the eldest Winchester and strode forward. The brothers exchanged a look before Dean’s shoulders shrugged and he followed after the angel. “At least it’s not snowing or raining or anything.” Sam’s eyes grew wide and looked down at his older brother, panic flashing in his eyes as if Dean had just jinxed them. With a scoff, Dean waved him off. “It will be fine. Look, not a cloud in the sky. We’d more likely run into a herd of sheep.” Sam’s eyes rolled with a shake of his head but they carried on behind the angel.

“What are we doing here, Cas?” Sam questioned after a few minutes of trudging miserably through the countryside.

“Following the call.” The angel answered stoically.

The brothers looked at each other quizzically and paused for a moment. Dean’s head tilted as his brow wrinkled. “What call?”

Castiel stopped then and turned himself to face the brothers. By the look on his face, he seemed aggravated by their questioning. He looked between the two of them as if they were the most ignorant of all humans. The boys faces fell and eyes widened slightly at the look he gave them. “An angel has called me here and she begs for help.”

“Another angel? Cas, why bring us?” Sam questioned, taking a step forward his hand raising to gesture between he and his brother.

“There is no one else that I would rather have as backup should things go wrong.” His face seemed soften, his blue eyes looking between the brothers almost pleadingly.

Dean stepped forward to clap a hand on his friend’s shoulder with a nod. “We got your back then. Don’t mean I ain’t gonna complain about the damn cold, though! And if I see anyone fucking a sheep, I’m out!” His hands shot out as he donned a look of disgust before pushing past the other two to carry on their walk.

The distress signal wasn’t that strong and Cas had a hard time pinpointing it. The angel was also growing weaker making it even harder to get a lock on her. But Castiel still continued, Sam and Dean right behind him. Eventually though, the humans needed food and rest. So where the Winchesters stopped for the night, Cas carried on his search.

It was the middle of the night when the angel finally returned to the brothers. Appearing in their rented room at a local inn, they both startled away drawing their guns out of instinct. Once they saw the blue eyed man through sleep heavy eyes, they lowered their weapons and both grumbled tiredly. “I have found her.” Cas’s eyes were wide, mostly with concern but he was elated that he had even found this mysterious angel.

“Ok, well let’s go get her.” Dean’s voice was gruff with sleep as he tossed the blanket off and threw his legs over the edge of the much-too-short-for-him bed. Once the two brothers were up and dressed, they were spirited away by Castiel once again.

“The place is warded. I can not enter and she can not leave.” Castiel stated as he looked up at the tall brick building before them. His head turned to look at Dean, that serious look on his face that always seemed to intimidate the eldest Winchester. “I need you and Sam to destroy as many of the wards as you can.” They nodded in understanding and Dean took a step forward to move ahead. A hand shot out to grasp his shoulder halting his movements. “Her life is in your hands.”

“Don’t worry, Cas.” Dean assured him, placing a calloused palm over the hand on his shoulder. “How many times we done this kind of shit before?” He didn’t expect an answer but he could see the angel relax a little. “Exactly.” He brushed Cas’s hand away before slapping his own hand against the man’s shoulder. “Give us five minutes.” With a smile and a wink, Dean took the lead with Sammy right on his heels.

What they weren’t expecting was the gaggle of demons that guarded the place. It was no surprise that Hell was holding a fallen angel captive. They were like the Hatfields and the McCoys, one always trying to one up the other, a feud that went on since the beginning of time. Thankfully, the demon blade and an angel blade came in handy, helping the Winchesters to take their enemies out easily. They had clearly chosen the better side since Dean claimed the demons to be the stupidest of villains.

They each took turns scratching off the sigils while the other kept watch or fought off their foes. When they got to the cell in the middle of the building, they were shocked at what they found. The beautiful young woman, cold damp and bloody, chained to the concrete below. Her eyelids were heavy and her hair was matted yet she made no sound nor did she even try to escape. Her head slowly lifted and Dean’s emerald hues were the first thing she locked onto.

Dean stood immersed in her hypnotic gaze, her Y/E/C orbs completely engulfing him. Sam looked at his brother with knit brow, looking between the elder and the woman curiously. A hand slapped against Dean’s shoulder, jogging the older man from his trance. They quickly made work of the wardings around the cage before unlocking the bars. The moment they were in, Dean dropped on his knees at her side to hold her weak body.

“Alright, Cas! Get your feathery ass in here!” Dean called out looking toward the heavens. The woman smiled up at him, a sigh of relief passing her chapped lips. He returned her smile softly as Sam tried to release her of her bonds. “We got you, sweetheart.”

“Y/N.” She responded breathlessly. “My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N.” The name fell from Dean’s lips with a grin as he nodded. “We’re gonna get you out of here, Y/N.” Once her hands were free, Dean pulled her against him, her body falling limp. Castiel offered to take her but Dean clung to her tighter. “Just get us to the bunker.” Standing to his feet, he hoisted her up and she clung around his neck burying her face against him. Castiel and Sam exchanged a look and the younger Winchester found himself grinning after a moment but nodded in agreement.

In a flash, they were within familiar walls and Dean could finally let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The angel refused to let go of him as he tried to lay her in a bed but after promising not to leave her side she finally relented. He sat on the side of the bed with her as Castiel helped her as best he could. She would be weak for a while but she was alive, her grace still in tact. She squeezed Dean’s hand and looked up at him with gentle eyes. “Thank you.”

“It wasn’t just me, Y/N/N. My brother and friend here helped.” Dean explained with a smile, his other hand combing through her Y/H/C locks.

She nodded in agreement but her features softened. “Physically you all saved my life. But you, Dean Winchester. Have saved my heart.”

[bangtan-spells]

Namjoon Scenario: Unintended.

Request: Can I have a Rap Monster scenario please? He got drunk at BBMAs party and cheated on Y/N with some bimbo girl. He doesn't want to tell you cuz he loves you but you still found out when the girl sent you a couple of photos of her and Rapmon together in bed. You decided to break up with him. I WANT ANGST

Genre: Angst / Drama.

Namjoon cursed at himself mentally for the umpteenth time, he wished he didn’t remembered what he had done, or better said he wished he hadn’t done anything to begin with, he wished he wasn’t such a moron. The smartest of idols, but the stupidest of men. He felt like that, and the fact that his whole group knew what had happened and were trying hard to not address the issue made it all more evident. It made him feel twice as guilty and twice an idiot, but then Namjoon thought he deserved that and much more after what had happened back in the US. Jimin deviated his eyes from him and Seokjin was being awkward talking about the party, that was when either of them mentioned the party at all. If they didn’t know how to handle this situation Namjoon could count himself as one more of the group because honestly he didn’t know what was the best thing to do.

They were arriving at Seoul, the fans were waiting for them as usual so Namjoon had to pull off a good image for the sake of the group. Namjoon stretched his lips a little but could not fully smile with the current thoughts in his head, the fans cheered for them as usual and they bowed a little but went out as swiftly as possible to not cause trouble to other travelers

On the way from Incheon to their dorm in Seoul Namjoon thought about what he could do, what he should do. He knew the honest thing, the correct logical thing was to tell you, being the way it had happened you didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark, but then that would mean you would break up with him and at the thought of that Namjoon panicked. He loved you, he loved you as one of the most precious human beings in his life and he couldn’t stand losing you, even more for something he did out of foolnes, something that meant nothing to him.

Alcohol had been running rampant at the BBMA’s party, and they all had been so exhilarated with their triumph, so excited for the internacional recognition that even himself had given into the champagne and whiskey to the extent of not knowing what he was doing. They all had been having fun, and the party was getting crazier as the night went on. It was all so blurred in Namjoon’s mind, he remembered they were about to leave and then those girls, Taehyung making out with one of them, other sneaking into their ride with Jin, Namjoon laughed about it all at that time since it was all fun, and then that blonde girl. Namjoon didn’t remember her name, more or less how she looked like, the thing was that the next thing he remembered was being with that girl in his suite, he barely recalled what had happened but he knew for sure he had had sex with her. It was a stupid thing, but he had a girlfriend back at home and he should have known better, now everything was at risk because of that, he would lose you for nothing, and Namjoon couldn’t bare it.

That night Namjoon made up his mind, he was going to keep going as nothing had happened as he deemed that the best thing to do, perhaps it wasn’t the right thing, but this way no one had to suffer for a meaningless thing that didn’t have to be remembered by anyone.

You had been counting the days to see him, to congratulate him in person for the big success in the Billboards, this was such a big thing for the group, for him. You knew how hard your boyfriend had worked for success so of course you wanted to celebrate with him. You suspected you wouldn’t be able to see him that first day he arrived to Korea, so that day you dedicated to yourself to get ready and pretty for him for when you met. Namjoon had been a bit quiet over the phone but you guessed he was deadly busy with the press and all the media attention they were getting.

You accorded to meet at your favorite restaurant the next day so that got you excited, he’d most likely stay over a couple of hours too and you couldn’t wait to have him all to yourself. You dolled up and chose a nice dress, this was after all a big celebration even if it was intimate just the two of you, you were adding the final touches to your look when you saw the email alert.

You thought you’d forgotten to disable them, you too were kind of a workaholic and were very attentive with your mail for work, but as you went through the app you saw that this mail wasn’t from work but of an unknown person, someone that you’d had disregarded entirely if it wasn’t because of the fact that the mail’s subject read “Namjoon”.

You tapped on it fast, the angst rising when you saw the files were pictures. Of what? You wondered who was starting rumors as you read the person, a girl named Taylor, had written a sketchy phrase that got you even more nervous.

How much your boyfriend will be willing to give me for these?

You tapped now on the photos for them to load and a gasp left your mouth, for a second not understanding why this Taylor girl was sending you a photo of a couple in bed, but then you saw the guy was Namjoon. That couldn’t be.

You examined it closely, looking for signals of photoshop or maybe this was a lookalike, but the more you stared at the pictures the more you were sure that wasn’t the case. Namjoon was asleep in all of them, the girl had taken the photos without him knowing, she smiled to the camera as she laid beside your naked boyfriend only covered by a hotel blanket.

Your stomach turned and you felt about to puke, the feeling of betrayal invading you in a way you didn’t know was possible. You felt tears running down your cheeks, you let your phone fall on the bed and screamed, pulling at your hair feeling like the most stupid girl on the planet. What did you expect? You had seriously believed Namjoon was a serious man no matter his idol status, that your love was real, that your relationship was more than just fun. You were an idiot.

A million ideas ran through your brain, canceling your plans and not talk to him ever again, answer back to this Taylor girl to tell him how lowlife and fucking dirty slut she was, you wanted to scream, to do something with the pain that was flooding all your senses. Your phone beeped again, Namjoon asking you if you were ready. Scoffing and whipping the tears you took it and told him about a sudden change of planes, you invited him over.

Namjoon thoguht it was a bit odd changing plans so suddenly but then he was in the mindset to do everything to please you and make you happy, he felt that after what he had done he’d be like this to you forever, you being happy and with him was all that he wanted so Namjoon would do anything for things to be like that. You opened the door not looking at him directly for just a second, Namjoon was nervous to face you as he felt like a scumbag, but then he noticed how red you were, not only your cheeks but your eyes and neck. You had been crying, and after you finally directed your gaze to him Namjoon knew you were angry.

-What…?-

-I just wanted you to come here- you interrupted him. -So I could tell you in your face that I know-

-What are you talking about?-

-Don’t take me for an idiot Namjoon, though maybe I’m one for believing that ton of lies about… loving me and whatever- you spat hating how your voice cracked a little for a moment, it hurt to state your relationship as a cruel lie, but right now it felt that way,

-Baby, Y/N, I don’t know…-

-Oh but you do- you interrupted him again pulling out your phone to show it to him. -Here, I see you already celebrated your big star triumph-

Namjoon couldn’t believe his eyes, he had been beyond idiotic, the girl had even taken photos of him, he had screwed everything up, there was no denying it, Namjoon knew it, but maybe if he could explain that it had been meaningless maybe you’d give him a chance.

-I’m sorry Y/N, I… screwed up, I was drunk and this bunch of girls came I didn’t know-

-You didn’t know?-

-I wasn’t aware of my actions, I was stupid Y/N, I was the dumbest asshole on earth but you have to know that meant nothing-

You huffed but started to cry despite yourself, the pain and the anger too present for you to keep it together. -She sent them to me, if you are wondering, I don’t know how she got my email the stupid whore, but she wants to blackmail you-

-What?- Namjoon’s head hurt with the weight of the repercussion of his actions, this was what he got for not thinking, not only was he losing you but now his career might be at stake. -What the fuck?-

-As you are hearing it, I’ll give you the contact and everything, but please, spare me from it, I don’t want- you licked your lips to glare at him. -I don’t want anything to do with this, or with you-

-Y/N please, let’s talk- Namjoon heart fell after hearing that, he could solve something with the company and his lawyers, he could pay whatever amount of money for the blackmail to be dealt with, but how he could make you to not hate him? What he could do to not lose you? -I promise it didn’t mean anything, it was stupid, and you have the right to be angry at me, call me an idiot, but you have to know I didn’t want to disrespect you, I didn’t want to…-

-But you did- you spat with a sob. -You did- you hit him in the chest pushing him away when he tried to come closer. -I don’t care that you were drunk, you slept with another girl just like that-

-I’m sorry Y/N, I swear I am, I regret drinking at that party more that I regret anything else in my life, baby, I love you, please Y/N-

You stared at him, Namjoon had glossy red eyes like he was about to cry as well, you loved him, you loved him so much and at the back of your mind you knew he loved you too, but right now it was too much. Right now you couldn’t bare to even have him this close. -Please Namjoon, go away-

-Y/N…- he pleaded trying to extend a hand to you.

-Leave- you were final and Namjoon let his arm fall down by his side. He nodded giving you one last hurt look before walking out of the door.

[hollands-gf]

Just Friends?

Request: (by @xloonaticbloodx )

prompt list 1. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”, 7. “I hate how much I love you” &

31. “Stop biting that fucking lip!”

Warnings: none, I guess.

Word Count: 1,002

A/N: I’m sorry if this didn’t turn out like you imagined L (why am I s-this self-conscious about my work lmao)

---

Peter was in the middle of a heated argument with Ned when all of a sudden Liz and Y/N approached to their table. “Hey guys!” Y/N smiled at them both, maybe smiling at Peter a bit longer. She couldn’t help but stare into his beautiful dreamy brown eyes. “Hey!” Peter’s face lit up as soon as his eyes were locked into Y/N’s Y/E/C ones.  “Y/N and I were wondering if you would like to come to my party tonight. It’s at my house, around 8.” Liz stared at the boys, waiting for a response. Peter was clearly frozen in his seat, his face was in shock. Y/N waved her hands in front of his eyes for a few times but Peter couldn’t go back to the reality until Ned hit him on his shoulder. “Dude, be cool will ya?”

“We’ll be there!” Ned nodded, grinning at the girls. Peter watched Y/N leave without saying anything; he was already planning on his moves for the night. “Earth to Peter? Could you wake up?” Ned sighed and continued to eat his meal. “She wanted me to come,” Peter whispered. “Yeah? Cause she is your best friend? Of course after me. But still you guys are like siblings-“

“Ned! You know I like her could you not make this awkward?” Peter looked at Ned in disgust. Ned threw his hands in the air: “I’m just saying. Don’t make this a big deal; she invited you because we always hang out together. Sometimes you guys hang out without me, yeah. But still.” Ned took another bite from his sandwich. When he saw Peter’s smile fading away he sighed: “I’m sorry Peter. I didn’t mean to be that harsh. I just wanted to protect you from possible heartbreak. Don’t listen to me, you never know. Maybe she likes you too. There’s only one way to find out.” Peter nodded. He knew this already but he lacked the courage to ask Y/N out even though he knew there was something between them. They weren’t just friends.

---

“Peter, wait.” Ned stopped Peter just before they were about to enter Liz’s house. Half of the school was already in there, music blasting out. “You can do this.” Ned smiled at his best friend. Peter smiled back, took a deep breath and got inside.

Peter looked around to find Y/N. He planned on choosing a quiet place to talk, he was going to confess his feelings to her but the sight of her and Flash laughing together, wasn’t helping him at all. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “C’mon you are Spider-man. You have stopped tens of criminals. You can confront Flash to talk to the love of your life” he murmured. He walked towards them and when he was finally close enough to hear what they were talking about, his heart shattered into pieces. “Yeah, Saturday is fine I guess?” Y/N said. “I’ll pick you up at 8 then.” Flash winked and walked away.

Although Peter knew he lost his chance, he was still at least willing to talk to Y/N. His feelings were killing him, he didn’t want to believe that Y/N liked Flash and not him.

“Hi,” he smiled and sat next to Y/N.

“Oh hello Mr. Parker,” Y/N giggled. They sat together through seconds of awkward silence until Peter finally gathered the courage to open up the conversation: “Can we go somewhere quieter? I have to talk to you about something.” He said, playing with his fingers, avoiding eye contact. Y/N nodded and headed towards the backyard.

---

“What’s up? Is it about Spider-man stuff? Are you in trouble?” Y/N was clearly worried about Peter; she touched his shoulder with concern in her eyes.

“No,” Peter chuckled. “This… It’s about something else.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, praying that Y/N would understand what he was talking about so he wouldn’t have to explain anything at all.

“Okay. What is it?” Y/N stared into his eyes waiting for a response. Peter’s eyes were wide open, he didn’t know what to say. “Peter? You can tell me everything. I’m your best friend,” Y/N bit her lips out of concern.

“Stop biting your fucking lips!” Peter put his head between his arms and closed his eyes. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows: “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just- When you bite them. I-“ Peter sighed: “Why is this so hard?”

“Peter I don’t understand what’s going on and I hope you will tell it to me at least this year?” Y/N chuckled. They stared into each other’s eyes for a while until Y/N whispered: “Come on Peter. Trust me. After all, we are friends, right?” She put his hands on his biceps, which were flexed because of how tense Peter was.

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” Peter murmured under his breath but Y/N heard it. “What?” she gasped, pulling her hands off of him. “Gosh, Y/N. I didn’t know how to tell you this but I can’t take it anymore. My heart hurts. I love you okay? I hate how much I love you. It hurts me when we stare each other a little too long. When we hold hands but it seems like it doesn’t mean anything to you. It hurts to hear you accepting to go to a date with Flash. That’s why I hate to love you because now, you will pity me. I will be preventing you from having great time with your dates for a while because you will keep thinking how much you hurt your best friend. I’m sorry,” Peter’s voice cracked and a single tear streamed down on his left cheek. Y/N put her hands on his cheeks and crashed her lips onto his. “You are the stupidest boy I have ever met. That wasn’t a date; we are finishing our chemistry project this weekend.” And without listening to Peter, she kissed him again, until Peter was finally smiling and his eyes were dry.

---

TAG LIST: @redlune18 @neewtmas @jaderbugz if you wanna be added to the tag list just let me know

[justoneday-namjoonii]

Midnight Circus

☾pairing: Jungkook ♡→  reader ☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. badboy summer fling au ☾summary: "You're ten times hotter this summer, you know that?"

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | coming soon

There was always that rush of excitement when summer came—that feeling of freedom and the urge to run wild bursting at the seems. That's how it was for most people, not you. When the sun shines with no end was something entirely different for you. Summer meant no school, known of those fellow classmates or teachers on your back. Your lively classmates bubbled in anticipation of the bell, the one thing that would free them from this white tiled prison for months. Just one last ring and I'm outta here, you thought. When it finally came you giggled at the students who jumped out of their seats, mostly guys, they huddled together as if they'd just won the state championship. The teacher attempted to calm them but eventually gave up, who could blame them?

“Come on, Y/N!”

Your friends beckoned you to hurry up and follow them out the door, that was currently being bombarded with the whole class. There was no point in rushing, so you told them to go ahead with you. They only shook their heads. You were the resident ‘good girl’ of your group of friends—as good as a high school senior could get at least. As quickly as you could look up you were left in the empty classroom, you looked at the reminder the suddenly came up on your phone. You hadn't received your grade for a year yet so you waited around at the main office for them. Sitting on the bench outside, you waited patiently, looking through your phone until your teacher came out. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, here you go.” You stood up and grabbed the thin folder from her, flipping through it really quick to make sure it was yours. “Enjoy your summer- Oh and congratulations on your graduation.” 

“Thank you.” You two exchanged smiles before she scurried back to her office, anxious to leave this place. She was probably happier to be on summer break than the students in this school. If you had to deal with these terrors in a few months you would too, you had to sit in a classroom with them but she has to teach them. 

Striding down the hall, you looked over the paper, looking over your grades for the past year. One C out of a list of A’s. You glared down at the letter, one project with that delinquent nearly depleted your grade point average—you never forgave him for that and you weren't planning on it. A few steps and you were at your car, fumbling with your keys to open the car door. You dropped them on the pavement. Just as quickly as they fell you bent down to get it but you were stopped as an all too familiar black boot kicked it away. 

Jeon Jungkook. He quickly had your keys in his hands. You tried to snatch them back but he only gave you a smug grin as your cheeks were already reddening in frustration.

“What do you want.” You spat crossing your arms, eliciting a snort from him. 

Jungkook was what some would call a fuck-boy, a bad boy, a heartthrob; just to name a few. But you had other names for him, a waste of a good looking human being; in short. He did what he wanted and could care less if his stupid decisions affected you or anyone else—he loves himself with no shame whatsoever. His charming glances and charismatic ways of talking may have had everyone at his mercy but he wasn't fooling you—not for a second.

“Chill, I just wanted to wish you a good summer, what's the harm in that?” He said

Oh please, you wanted to wipe that grin right off of his face.

“Anytime you try to talk to me, you mean harm. Jungkook, I don't have time for this.” You attempted to snatch the keys once again but he blocked your attempts by putting his hands far from your reach. “Give me my keys back!” You crossed your arms, waiting for him to stop being childish and hand them over.

“Come on, are you serious?” He laughed. “Your panties are still in a bunch about that-...what was it again?” He tilted his head in thought, “'Collaborative project.” He signed quotation marks with his fingers.

“Since you obviously don’t have the best of memory, I'll remind you of what you did to me. While we were supposed to be finishing the project the night before. I had to finish it by myself. While you decided you'd go roof topping with your friends, on the school, during an open house—which, by the way, has to be one of the stupidest ideas you've ever had. You could've been arrested, not that I would care.” You huffed, already feeling yourself getting heated by the combination of the pounding sun and your rising anger. He was sporadic and impulsive, he said what he was thinking and went with the moment—all the time, and it was annoying. 

“But did I get caught? No, I didn't- And you were a doll for keeping your lips shut about it, babe.” He tapped the bottom of your chin and you jerked back, smacking his hand away. You hated when he'd call you that, it was a nickname he came to like because of one incident. There was a tornado warning in the area, when it touched down you sat in the corner of the room, you closed your ears he could've sworn he saw tears.

The day before the due date you got hit with a bad virus and couldn't take in the project so you gave the responsibility to him—bad idea, a horrifyingly bad idea. He never came to your house to pick it up—he didn't even go to school that day, your teacher was convinced that Jungkook got you to skip school until you explained to her that you were bedridden. To this day, you still don't know where he went, and you really don't care anymore.

“I kept my lips shut because I wasn't going through that for you. When I texted you to tell you I was sick, and politely asked you to pick up the project and turn it in you left me on read! And never freaking showed up. Honestly, how rude can someone be...” 

“Ok, and? You stress over every fucking little thing, it was one project.” He retorted, those distinct eyebrows taunting you with every little facial quirk. You snatched the keys from his hand, getting into your car and slamming the door. 

He knocked on the window—your stupid self actually lets it down. 

“What.” Your hands firmly on the wheel as you were getting ready to pull out.

“You never gave me back my headphones, the ones I left at your place. I need them back.” You had to laugh, you know he doesn't think your just gonna hand over his stuff after all the things he's put you through. He's not entitled to anything that has to do with you.

You had something he wanted. You smirked, the tables have finally turned. 

“Ah, you mean the black ones with the blue on the sides?” He nodded, “Yeah, no, I don't know what you're talking about, you must be thinking about another girls house, I know you probably lose count.” You cooed, close-lipped grinning like the petty person you were.

“I know you have them, quit being petty and hand them over.” His attempt to push you into a corner was working to him but in reality, it was failing miserably.

“Now I’m definitely not giving them to you, even if I did have them, which I don’t, you won’t be seeing them anytime soon.” You could tell by the way his tongue protruded against his cheek, he wasn’t happy with you. You assumed he would escalate the argument but he only laughed, you frowned. “Why are you laughing?”

“None of your damn business.” With that, he walked back to where he left from and you willed yourself not to pay him any mind. You get a whole three months free of him, annoying classmates and the school in general. 

Life is looking pretty good right about now.

| 1 Month later |

You sat on the back porch, phone in your hand and a glass of flavored sparkling water at arms reach. So far you've proclaimed your own stay-cation, your parents are going on a cruise soon and you'll be joining them. Some of your friends went off on vacation to Fuji or some tropical paradises, you'd be out of this place in time. Your thumb moved up to read the long work of fiction—you were deep, feeling as if you were living everything described around the heroine. Screech.

 The sound of the sliding glass door prompted you to change the tabs and look back at whoever interrupted your peace and quiet. 

“Y/N, what are you doing?” Jennie strolled her way over to you and sat in the chair across from you.

“Enjoying my relaxation.” You sipped your drink slouching back with a heavy sigh of content.

“Well,” Her hands on her hips as she stood tall, “go pack your bags, you're going with me tomorrow.” 

“What? Going with you where?”

“Do you remember me telling you my aunt and uncle own a huge campground?” You nodded with a suspicious eye. 

“They're letting me bring a few friends to stay for a couple of weeks, you're parents said it was ok if you came.” The smile on her face was one you knew all too well—she really, really wanted you to go, no was the last thing she wanted to hear.

“Thank you for thinking of me but I really don't think-”

“Don't worry sweetheart,” Your mother stood at the door and at the sight of her you realized your chances of getting out of this were demolished, “she'll be there, I know you guys will have a great time.” You cut your gaze to her, glaring at her like she had the plague.

“Perfect! We'll come to pick you up tomorrow evening!” Jennie jumped in excitement, giving your mother a quick hug before skipping out the front door in a singsong hum. There was nothing she wanted more this summer but you in the other hand—have a few choice words for a certain someone for getting you into this. 

“I don't want to go. I'll stay home if you guys don't want me to go on the cruise...” You brought your phone back up to your face. “I'm not going.”

“Don't give me that Y/N, you need to have fun with people your age. You're going and I don't wanna hear anything else about it.” She walked into the house, closing the sliding doors like she's won something.

You couldn't help be sulk—you packed while muttering to yourself. How could she do this? She knew you were excited to be going on a cruise and getting away for a while and now she's sending you off to some camp she doesn't even know anything about. There was nothing fun about being forced to have fun, going to some campground with a bunch of people doesn't sound that great to you. There was one bright side to going to this place, you'd be far away from Jeon Jungkook. You managed to avoid him this long and now you get to flee the city without him harassing you every chance he gets.

Searching through the towel closet you finally found your traveling toiletries bag at the very top with several over travel items. You ran to get your phone as it rang obnoxiously loud—you left the dang ringer on.

“Hello?” 

“Hey! Are you packing?” It was Jennie.

“Uh, yeah what's up?” If you were honest, since it was so late you weren't really even that interested.

“You know Beah’s acting partner?”

You sat at your drawers, pulling out every swimsuit you own and shoving them in your bag. “Not personally...but yeah, I know of him.” 

“Well I told him, him and some of the friends could come since there's so much room at our unit and do you know who he invited?” By the sound of her voice, this could be really good or really bad.

“Who?...” Don't let it be Jungkook, don't let it be Jungkook, don't let it be Jungkook...

“Jimin, Park Jimin, can you believe it? I don't know if I can do it, Y/N. He's just so perfect, you know?” Park Jimin, he was every girl’s crush at least once; you were a little excited to know Jimin was coming too—even though he was friends with Jungkook he was always so nice to you, he was nice to everyone actually. Come to think of it, all of his friends were nice to you—it was him that had issues.

“Wow, do you know who else?” You pressed, wondering if any other heartthrob would be surrounding you this summer.

“Yeah, I think-” You could hear her mothers muffled voice calling her from over the phone. “Sorry, I gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow, bye.” And she hung up. Way to leave you on a cliffhanger.

“This won't be all bad...” You thought aloud, zipping your suitcase case and setting near your room door. Jennie knew you weren't as easy to just get up and go, especially if you've never even been to this place so you knew she was happy you were coming and deep down inside you were kind of happy to go—deep down.

They decided to leave early, just to rub it in my face. 

“Call us when Jennie comes to get you, we'll tell you when the boat leaves.” Your mother started up the car as your dad filled the trunk with luggage. You stood at the front door, waving goodbye as the car took them away. 

You had nothing to do but wait, so you went back inside kicked up your feet and turned on the tv. A few minutes went by and you were out, you stayed up for a few hours to pack and the lack of sleep is getting to you. Your eyelids were heavy, your head rested on the head of the couch and just as you were about to sleep your phone buzzed.

Don't answer—I wonder who I gave that contact name.

You looked at it, when Jungkook tries to reach you it's either for one of your friend's numbers(which you never give him) or you never really know what he wants. But for some reason, you assumed out of boredom, you answered it.

“Hello?”

“Who is this?”

“What the heck? You called me-”

“Just kidding, are you home?”

You sneered, “Um, if I was I wouldn't tell you.”

“You're literally always home.” He snorted.

“I don't know why I even answered, bye.” You were about to hang up but he stopped you.

“No, wait, I wanted to tell you how much of a shitty person you are for stealing my personal property. My brother is pissed too, they're actually his.” He lied straight through his teeth, grinning on the other end of the phone. “I had to tell him they were being held hostage by you, so if the cops show up at your-”

“You're a terrible liar, goodbye Jungkook.” You hung up, he was unbelievable.

A sudden knock on your door signaled that it was time to leave the comfort of your home. You opened the door to be greeted by a smiling face. “Are you excited?” Jennie asked, helping you with your bags, tossing them in the trunk with her own luggage.

“Uh, sure.” That wasn't very convincing, but Jennie knew you didn't want to go originally so she only giggled at your response. You hopped in the passenger's seat, tossing your purse to the floor and automatically reclining. “How far away is this place?”

“About 2 hours.” Lifting a red bull to her lips she sipped momentarily before focusing on the road. Two hours was the perfect amount of time for a nap, she continued to talk about what activities were at the campground and you tried to listen but before you knew it you were knocked out.

“We're here.” She announced. You groggily rubbed your eyes sleepily, looking out your window to see a beautiful spring and little cabins along the side. Your hand went to your sore neck and you stretched, you could already tell you liked it here. It was 20 minutes until sunset—the sun sat just right atop the water.

“Ah, I use to come here every summer when I was a kid, the sleeping bags, the campfire, the hikes, the off campground field trips, I loved it.” She smiled at the thought, pulling into the parking space as you saw a car still unpacking. Beah, Naeun, and her sister Nayeon were arguing over which cabin was ours.

“It's cabin 127!” Nayeon persisted, pointing to the cabin.

“I don't think so.” Naeun sat on the curb eating from a bag of pretzels as Beah continued to drag the luggage out of the trunk.

“Can you guys get your stuff? I need to lock the car- Y/N! You came.” Beah ran over to you and gave you a big hug. 

“Yep, I did.” You nodded as she finally let you go, going back to the car to grab her bags. “I see you guys packed light.” You sarcastically laughed, you saw at least 3 extra bags in the backseat and you could only assume they were Naeun’s.

“You have to be prepared.” Naeun adjusted her shorts as she stood up from the curve, going to grab her luggage. “Which cabin are we in Jen?”

“127, right next to 117 where the boys are staying.” At the remembrance of who else would be joining us all of them erupted in giddy laughter. “Oh my gosh I forgot about them, I think they're lost, they should've been here an hour ago they left before us. Here's the key, you guys can unpack while I wait for them.” She reached into her pocket to toss you the key and to get her phone out, she pressed a contact before placing it up to her ear.

“Where are you guys?” 

“We had to make a rest stop but we just pulled in the campgrounds, where we supposed to go?” 

“Tell the woman at the front desk you're here with Jennie at cabin 127 and 117, she's my aunt so she'll know who you're talking about.”

With your bags in hand, you unlocked the door to the spacious unit, there was one set of bunk beds, two single beds In the large space and the living room had a pullout sofa. You didn't want the sofa but you would consider it for the view of the water since the unit was a bit elevated you could see all the lights of the other cabins switch on.

“I call dibs on the couch,” Nayeon announced, tossing her sleeping bag towards the couch.

“Beah, we'll take the single beds. That leaves you and Jennie with the bunks unless you guys want it the other way around.” Naeun continued to make her way towards the room and you opted for the bottom bunk. You sat your luggage next near the nightstand and threw yourself back on the bed, immediately trying to find the wifi server—no bars.

You sighed, jumping out of bed so you could go ask Jennie how to get wifi out here but when you walked on the side she was at the other cabin giving Jin the keys. You timidly walked over past the fire pit to see Jin and Namjoon. 

“Jin, Joonie!” Nayeon ran up to both of them giving them both a hug, they were like the big brothers of the group. Yoongi was on vacation with his family and so was Hoseok, so they couldn’t come.

“Y/N, I didn’t know you were coming.” Namjoon pulled out his and Jin's luggage, smiling at you showing those beautiful dimples.

You smiled, “Yeah, I decided last minute.” 

“Decided? Your mom literally forced you.” Jennie giggled, pushing at your shoulder teasingly. You frowned, crossing your arms and muttering a whatever. The rest of them picked up a conversation as you saw another car in the distance. 

“Y/N can you grab my purse from the nightstand then we can grab dinner at the burger place down the road, we'll have campfire dinner tomorrow.” You nodded, going back inside to grab both hers and yours.

When you walked back outside you were met with a car full of boys. 3 to be precise.

Time stopped, when you saw Jimin step out of the car and you could see he hasn't changed a bit. His angelic face, his breathtaking figure, it made your heart skip a beat, he was always so perfect to you.

“Hey everyone, sorry we're late we had to stop by the convenience store for snacks.” He laughed, pushing his hair from his face and closing his door.

“That's okay,” Naeun smiled, “We're about to grab dinner so you guys are just in time.” Naeun was an open book, you could tell she had some plans involving him already.

“Sweet,” Taehyung ran to the trunk to grab his suitcase, “we’ll put our stuff in the cabin really quick. Jungkook gets your stuff.” 

Jungkook? He lazily slung those stupidly toned legs (that looked illegal in the jeans he was wearing) out of the back seat and you were the first person he made eye contact with—you mirrored each other with equally confused expression.

You walked closer, just to ensure that it was really him and you couldn't believe it—you're eyes weren't deceiving you.

“You?” He didn't know what else to say, stretching his arms to get the sleep off of them.

Happiness wasn't the first emotion thought of when you saw him either, “This is great.” There was sarcasm in your tone as the rest of the girls couldn't help but glancest the scene between you and Jungkook. “Here I thought I'd have a relaxing vacation.” I might as well forget any chances with Jimin if he was in the way.

“Trust me, you weren't the only one.” He easily lifted his luggage out of the trunk, him being the only one of the three still outside. “I thought you were on your way to the islands with your folks.” He chuckled, knowing your mother told him the other night and that's how he acquired the information.

“I had a change of plans- wait, how'd you know about the cruise?” You questioned. Before you could get a response he went inside with his bags, still rude as hell, you thought.

The night continued like that, you were trying to get over the fact that you'd be spending multiple days on the same land with him. Everybody else was having a good time though, Taehyung and Jimin were having a lively conversation about who has better ping pong skills with Naeun and Nayeon. They were really similar to each other. Namjoon, Jin, Beah, and Jennie were laughing over a hilarious story Jin was telling. But there were two people eating their burgers and fries like an angry couple.

“Ow!” You winced, someone kicked your ankle with enough force to make your leg jerk up. You glared at him—why'd you have to sit across from him... 

“You're hogging the ketchup.” Your eyes went to the bottle of ketchup and you frowned—he was so childish.

“No, I'm not,” You tilted the bottle to get some on the side of your plate, “I just picked it up.” When you sat it down he took it. The red substance dripped onto his plate, clashing with a few his fries left on his plate. You watched as he piled the sauce onto his fries and a little bit of his burger, and shoved it into his mouth. You took your time finishing your food all while trying to join in the others conversation.

“Yeah, I had to stop for a few months because of my back injury but I'm better now.” Jimin gave an explanation for his absence at Naeun’s dance studio. You use to dance at the same studio when you were younger but when you moved you changed hobbies a little. Jungkook was observing the way you looked at Jimin, you'd blush and stammer when he'd talk to you and he grimaced at the sight. He scoffed to himself as the salt and pepper were right next to you, you were so stingy with condiments. 

“Pass the pepper.” Another kick to your ankle and you had enough.

“What is your problem? Its right there just grabs it.” You hissed, kicking him back for once, causing Tae to look at you guys weird.

“Other than the fact that you’re being a bitch, nothing, I don’t have a problem.” He muttered, shaking the pepper onto his ketchup.

“Excuse me? You're the one kicking me like a 5-year-old and asking me for stuff that's right in front of you, you're doing this on purpose.” You groaned, sitting back with crossed arms.

“It's not right in front of me, and being the gentleman I am I wasn't gonna reach over your food.” By the way, he eyed you it was obvious he was asking for a fight but it was the first day, you weren't giving into to him.

“Oh please, you don't care about reaching over my food, you just want to annoy me.” This time I'm not gonna listen to anything he has to say, I'm the bigger person here. Ignore him.

“There were only two of the shirts but Naeun insisted we needed another one so she and Y/N-”

“Shut up Nayeon!” All Nayeon could do was laugh at her sister's immediate defensiveness, everyone at the table especially Jungkook was curious about how you were involved in getting this shirt.

“How'd you get the shirt?” Taehyung asked causing her to glare at him.

“Yeah, I'm a little curious myself,” Jimin added, and the rest of the boys looked at Naeun for her part on the story.

“Come on Naeun, It was months ago, I'll tell them.” Jennie cleared her throat, leaning in to tell the story, “So, our favorite band was in town and they had limited edition shirts it the concert. When we tried to order them they were all sold out, but my brother knew someone who sold the leftover shirts really cheap. So I asked Naeun and Y/N to ride out to get them, by the way, he lived in the straight up wilderness so it took forever to find him- but anyway, when we pulled up I told Naeun and Y/N to go get the shirt just in case we needed a quick getaway-”

“Let me tell the rest!” Naeun butted in, eager to continue the story from her perspective. “When the guy came out he told us to come in inside while he gets the ‘stuff’, so we're waiting inside right and Y/N was like, ‘it smells like weed in here’-” She started to laugh as she approached the height of the story and you saw Jungkook found this story rather amusing.

“That's when you grabbed the shirt, put the money on his coffee table and next thing I know you're dragging me out the door, he's running after us and you tell Jennie he's got a gun.” 

“Which freaked the hell out of me so I broke the speed limit by at least 20 miles to get out of there!” Giggling like everyone else at the table. “Later we found out that he thought we were the middleman for one of his new ‘clients’. Basically, he thought we were there for weed.” You remember that like it was yesterday, the three of you had never feared for your lives more that day than ever. Everyone laughed gleefully, having a good time comparing similarly weird circumstances as you all walked out of the diner. Jungkook began to get in on the conversation, cracking jokes and fooling around with the guys so you were free from that.

As you all went back to the cabins, a certain someone came to walk beside you. 

“It's a beautiful night, isn't it?” You had never seen anyone walk with such charisma, his hands rested comfortably in his pockets.

“Yeah, it's nice...” You nodded, enjoying every second of this short conversation.

“I'm gonna hit the sack, goodnight guys...” Taehyung sleepily went into the cabin and sadly Jimin followed behind him, wishing everyone else a goodnight. Soon everyone trickled into the cabins but how waited for Jennie to get the extra blankets from her aunt. The sky was full of stars tonight, it was something you don't see in the city every day, it was stunning. If you weren't so sleepy you'd stay out longer so you could stare up at the sky, that would be a perfect way to end an evening. 

“Huh, a good girl like you knowing what weed smells like,” Jungkook walked over to you, his hands in his pockets, “you learn something new every day I guess.” 

You shifted your weight on your feet, crossing your arms instinctively from that. “What do you want Jungkook.”

“It's not about what I want.” He quirked his brow, hinting at what he meant. 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

Clearing his throat momentarily he couldn't resist the urge to tease you. “I saw the way you were looking at Jimin earlier, you can't hide it can you?” 

Suddenly you stopped breathing, you glared at him hard, your cheeks flushed but luckily they were hidden by the darkness. “I don't know what you're talking about, Jimin is just a friend...”

“No? Well, you were practically fucking drooling over him.” He snickered.

“I was not...” He over exaggerates everything.“Shouldn't you be in your cabin?” You quipped. 

“Oh Y/N,” He tried to pat your shoulder but you swatted his hand away, “you're secret is safe with me babe, I won't tell him, not now at least.” He bid you farewell with the wave of his hand and without a word you left him, deciding you didn't have to listen to his crap any further. 

The girls were finishing up the shower process when you entered the cabin. How could someone be some bothersome, he literally couldn't stand seeing you mind your own business. He was like that since preschool, he ruined anything good for you. You slipped on your pajama shirt and pantsuit after your shower and threw yourself on the bed.

“Y/N? You left me outside.” Jennie walked in with an arm full of blankets, tossing it on the couch for Nayeon.

“Jungkook was out there...” You rolled your eyes and she got the message.

“Oh,” She drew out the oh, “I saw you guys had a little argument at the dinner, what was that about?”

“You know we don't get along.”

“Yeah, but you guys can set your differences aside for the sake of everyone else for once. I'll be honest, Jungkook is hot, you guys might find out you really don't hate each other that much and hook up or something-”

“Not in this lifetime.” You got into your covers and yawned. "Goodnight."

You and Jungkook were like fire and water, polar opposites. It would take a miracle to change that.

[moonlitgleek]

Say Joanna lives long enough to get Jaime and Cersei betrothed to Elia and Oberyn. I think Elia would make a great Lady of the Rock but what do think of Cersei in Dorne?

To be quite honest, anon, I highly doubt that those betrothals would have gone through even if Joanna had lived. There is this assumption in fandom that Joanna would have succeeded in convincing Tywin of them since she invited the Princess of Dorne to Casterly Rock in the first place, and based on the quote about Tywin being ruled at home by his lady wife and Tywin’s widely-known love for Joanna. However, I agree with what @turtle-paced says here about how this indicates “a difference in the degree of power wielded by Joanna, not a difference in the kind of power wielded. The gendered power structure remains in place.” Joanna may have ruled at home and may have been afforded more power and trust that Tywin has ever shown to another person, much less another woman, but the matter of betrothals and dynastic marriages are out of Joanna’s jurisdiction so to speak since they are, first and foremost, used for political gain in a society such as Westeros. Oh I have no doubt Tywin would have taken Joanna’s opinion and wishes into consideration but only to a certain extent. I highly doubt even his love for Joanna would have compelled him to approve these betrothals, especially the Oberyn\Cersei one.

Come on, this is Tywin Lannister we’re talking about here: rampant racist, violent misogynist, proud ableist and all-around douchebag and despicable human being. I have no doubt he saw Dorne and the Martells as being beneath him and House Lannister in terms of, well, everything. Try to look at this through his eyes. Besides his clear racism which definitely shaped his view of the Dornish, a marriage alliance with Dorne offers Tywin little and less in terms of wealth, influence or military and political power, all things Tywin actively sought in his children’s betrothals. Dorne is the poorest and least populous of all the Seven Kingdoms and the Martells do not have other strong marriage alliances to bolster their dynastic power. While the Martells boast a Targaryen descent and princely titles, they are not the kind of Targaryens Tywin had his eyes on.

Tywin had grandiose plans for his golden twins, dynastic marriages that match to bolster house Lannister’s power and influence. For Cersei, that was her being queen which wasn’t something that Tywin was willing to compromise on. Cersei was meant for Rhaegar Targaryen, thank you and good night. That is non-negotiable in his mind. To think that Tywin would substitute the Targaryen crown prince with a Martell second son, even if he is styled as prince, is out of the question. Marrying his daughter to a landless second son is out of the question. Note that Tywin’s issues with his father, his misrule and how the Lannister image suffered during his tenure is one of the strongest motivation behind everything Tywin did. He spent his entire life basing his identity on being the anti-Tytos Lannister, and marrying his beautiful Lannister-born (which, in Tywin language, translates to inherently superior to everyone else) only daughter to an insignificant second son from a house that does not match the grandeur of house Lannister is exactly what Tytos Lannister did when he betrothed Genna to Walder Frey’s second son when she was seven which is something that Tywin spoke vehemently and publicly against when he was all of ten. Tywin’s vehement rejection to his father’s model means he was definitely not going to follow his weak father’s example and repeat the utter “waste” of a Lannister bride on a landless second son from a lesser house by marrying Cersei to Oberyn. The Light of the West was the highest marriage prize in all of Westeros as far as Tywin was concerned and thus deserved the highest ranking bachelor Westeros had to offer: the crown prince.

As for Elia, the princess was 9 years older than Jaime and ill to boot. Her frail health automatically detracts from her worth as a marriage pawn in Westerosi society, and her age compounds it since there was a risk that Elia could grow sicker before Jaime was old enough to wed and bed her, limiting her ability to produce heirs. Tywin was also severely ableist and his ableism was at an all-time high in the wake of Tyrion’s birth making the chances of him approving a match with Elia even lower. We see how he automatically equated Elia and Tyrion in worth and associated the two simply based on their disability, which is to say that his view of Elia was less that savory since he saw her about as “worthy” as his reviled “ill-begotten” dwarf son.Considering how Tywin took Tyrion’s existence as a personal insult and a mark against Lannister image and legacy, Tywin’s need to assert the image of house Lannister and bury the “stain” that Tyrion’s birth had left on the house and on Tywin personally would be pressing. With the Princess of Dorne arriving so soon after Tyrion’s birth and with Elia’s health being frail, Tywin would not accept any risk for Jaime’s children to turn out less than perfect (see: not disabled) and would view Elia’s health as a hindrance to that.In light of that, do you think Tywin, professional asshole that he was, could ever consider brown frail Elia “worthy” of his precious golden heir or of being the mother of the next generation of house Lannister?

Moreover, I think there is a very good chance that Tywin linked both the Princess of Dorne and Elia to Ellyn Tarbeck in his mind; the Princess for her ambition and perceived social climbing, Elia for the social climbing. Ambition and social climbing are two traits that Tywin thinks need swift punishment in a woman, from Ellyn Tarbeck to the candlemaker’s daughter to Tysha. He always operated on the belief that women who step out of lineneed to be put back in their place and punished.Both the Princess of Dorne and Elia, two Dornishwomen who dared direct their ambition towards house Lannister (and dared to take the crown prince from the Lannisters in OTL) promptly fall under that umbrella. It’s really not that surprising that Elia ended up raped and murdered at the hands of a Lannister vassal. Not that I think Tywin gave the explicit order but well, Gregor Clegane is a brute during a sack marked by rape. Tywin was under no illusion of what would happen to Elia.He wanted Elia punished, he just likes plausible deniability

I know this is not the answer you were looking for but even if I ignore the above and assume that these betrothals are possible for the sake of argument, the mere idea of Elia at Casterly Rock makes me sick. She would suffer a whole lot of racism, sexism and ableism from Tywin who would take her health and how it affects her childbearing ability as a personal failure on her part and punish her for it. Think of how horrifically abusive Tywin was towards Tyrion and you’d get a sense of how he’d treat Elia who, on top of her health, is a woman, brown, Dornish and *gasp* not a Lannister. Oh the horror. Cersei… oh Cersei would disdain Dorne. She learned racism and ableism at Tywin’s knee so she would hate everything about Dorne, and about the disabled seemingly feeble Doran and the Norvoshi Mellario. She’d be bitter as fuck as well that she was married off to a second son and she’d find the limitation of her power infuriating, more so because the ruling power belonged to a disabled man and that the lady of the house is a foreign woman. The Water Gardens would be utterly bizarre to her - that lowborn and baseborn children are allowed to play alongside the highborn without a discrimination would be the stupidest thing ever to someone raised on the belief that Lannisters are inherently superior to everyone else, and that the smallfolk are little more than livestock. Cersei would spend her time daydreaming about the Water Gardens burning and planning a murder or ten.