#you really cannot cut out anything in one piece it’s all relevant
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my partner offhandedly said “what if they reveal robins background in season of the live action” and i went from having 1 concern about season 2 to like 2 in the span of five seconds
#the concern is i keep hearing they plan on cutting little garden which is absolutely insane to me#i dont think they’ll ever get to egghead in the live action but why would you set yourself up for that becoming a problem down the line???#you really cannot cut out anything in one piece it’s all relevant#also them showing robins backstory before enies lobby would be absolutely horrible and i know im worrying about something that might not#happen but like after the a t l a live action i am more concerned about the one piece one#anyways. that’s my rambling for the day#ange rambles
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Complete 2023 Furblet Teardown/Disassembly Guide
hi!! this post will be an image heavy teardown guide for the newest 2023 furby furblets. questions are welcome!
Be aware there will be skinning and disassembly below the cut!
You will need:
A PH1 size screwdriver
a stiff, strong, thin prying tool (like a very thin flat head screwdriver, a butterknife, a palette knife, etc.)
a second stiff tool to pull/push on tabs (i used a mini plastic curved scraper)
optional, but a small magnetic mat and a small container (or just 2 containers) to hold parts and screws so you don't lose them!
This is my volunteer model ooh-koo!
She is in complete working order, both before and after the teardown. There aren't many fragile parts inside furblets (they're surprisingly simple but clever!) but I still do not recommend following through with this disassembly unless you're absolutely fine with damaging your furblet. Furblets are NOT meant to be taken apart, and are filled with 1-way safety pins in the faceplate that cannot be removed without bending/breaking them out.
To start, remove all visible screws on the underside of the furblet where the battery compartment is. There are 6 total screws, two larger ones for the battery compartment and 4 smaller ones on the outside holding the bottom on to the furb. These screws are different sizes, don't lose them and put them back in the right places! The bottom of your furby should look like this now:
(i forgot to take a photo of this initially, so she is skinless here.)
After this, you should very easily be able to lift the plastic strip holding the fur into the shell. Part of it is tucked into a nook to allow slack in the fur for lifting it over the body!
After this, gently pull the fur up and over the body shell, and flip it over the ears. These are held in place by plastic clips so be gentle and don't force it off yet.
now for the most genuinely difficult part of the whole process, unclipping the ears
Holding the ear on the front and back to sandwich the pieces together, and being VERY gentle, slide your first prying object under the wide end of the white ear clips. This will lift it to allow you to pull the clips up over the barrier. While still leaving the pry in, use your second object and push/pull on the clip. Here I am pulling since my scraper is curved and it was easiest. The T shaped clip should pop right out, but may need a lot of finagling to get it there. I stretched the second clip and damaged it, so again be slow and careful!
Repeat this process on all four tabs! Now, the skin should only be held on to the furb by the face plate.
To open up and remove the faceplate, start by removing all three screws on the back of the shell. Again, I forgot the picture initially so she is already skinless here.
Now, pull apart the two halves of the shell. The microphone is wired from the center board to the back half of the shell, so don't pull too hard or you might rip the wires out!
Pay attention to your individual furblet! Mine has pink and purple components, remember or take a picture of the lay out so you aren't confused later. the pink and purple parts on either side just pop right out, and the button slides off the peg along with its spring. This will give you full access to the backside of the motherboard.
Remove the screws on either side, and it will release the whole center plate from the front half of the shell. There is a third screw on the bottom of the center plate, but this only separates the battery contact plate and the base plate of the motherboard (i wouldn't really recommend removing it since it's not relevant to anything you need access to) The whole center plate will now just slide out of the empty front half of the shell!
There is one additional piece kind of floating on the pegs here, and it's needed so the furb recognizes button presses to the mouth. Here it's the J shaped purple piece! This just pops right off and you can see all the safety pegs for the faceplate and mouth/gem buttons. To remove the pegs, you will have to manually bend the tabs holding the pegs in place. This WILL damage your furblet. Do not go further if you aren't wanting to break anything.
After bending the tabs out, the pegs should pull straight through, releasing the whole faceplate. At this point, the skin should come right off too! Here are the inside and outside parts.
Congrats! You've completed a disassembly. To put your furblet back together, just do everything in reverse!, however please note the following:
When reassembling, be sure to replace all spring parts in their correct positions! The ear mechanisms are reliant on all of these springs to work. For the inside, make sure the Y shaped brackets are on their correct sides, and that the end of the metal spring is INSIDE the furb, pushing against the bottom plate (the left side here has a small divot where the left side spring goes, the right side just kind of sits on top of the plate)
Similarly, when replacing the shell be sure to lift the ears all the way up and close the metal pins into the shell. This puts tension on the spring so they'll be able to pop out when the button on top is pressed. Test the button to make sure everything is working mechanically!
And that's all! This wasn't very difficult to do, but because of the actual inevitable damage caused by removing the face plate, i figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to make a guide of some sort. Please feel free to use and link this guide however you see fit, but please don't use my photos! Thanks for reading 🩵💙
#furby#furby community#furby guide#gator guide#furby disassembly#furby furblet#furby custom#all furby#furblets
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Sense and Sensibility (2024, Hallmark) a review
I had expectations for this movie. They were not surpassed. It didn't perform below them either.
Spoilers under the cut.
So, this is a short movie (1.24hr long) a tv movie, a hallmark movie. You must keep that in mind as a frame of reference for what I'm about to say. You cannot really compare this with theatrical movies on equal footing.
Where to start. Costumes and sets. It is Bridgerton's world and we live in it. Everything is VERY colorful and shiny and not very real looking; that was to be expected. I think that sort of semi-fantasy aspect didn't hurt at all, and it was consistent. If you are not going to stick to the time period, at least go ham and show me something really interesting. I'm looking at you, Netflix Persuasion. There are some dresses that are pretty, and some others that... aren't. Considering that apparently the costume designer had to make something like 60 pieces in a month, it's kind of impressive that it came out as it did.
One funny bit, though, in this respect, is that they complain about how small the cottage is like some actual estate houses aren't the same size IRL XD Allenham we only get to see from afar, and it is rather disappointing.
Music: nothing to write home about, to be expected. Yes, we got one of those Vitamin String Quartet modern-song-played-by-strings. IDK. They were a bit dorky in their heyday, I don't know why they are so sought after in these pieces lately. I digress.
The acting. Deborah Ayorinde was a really good Elinor. She definitely deserved better writing and direction. The rest of the cast was good enough; I feel some roles really benefited from their characters being a bit hammy already in the source material (Lucy, Mrs Jennings, Anne, Fanny, Robert), others were really struggling because of being given very poor dialogue (Mrs Dashwood), and others were just... not good (Willoughby and Brandon, sadly). Edward was... a very special case. I can only describe it as the actor having two expressions: one, an attempt at reaching Hugh Grant's adorkableness AND Dan Stevens' ease at the same time, and two [SCREAMING INTERNALLY], but I guess those two were indeed enough to make it work just fine!
Which leads me to the writing. We all knew this adaptation was going to live or die in the writing, and most likely die.
The thing is that most of it is written around repeating 95' and 08's greatest hits, while attempting to compress the narrative into an hour and a half. And that goes as well as you can expect it to. Some scenes are painfully rushed -Brandon's backstory was extremely awkward to get through- some things are over before you have any time to assess their real weight -Marianne's illness, and many others end up being... incongruous.
Let me stop a little on those. The movie keeps Margaret, and gives her the whole play acting as a pirate with Edward from 95', but then removes the only real plot relevant thing she does in the book. So why keep the character at all? (Willoughby asks for Marianne's handkerchief in exchange for Queen Maab, instead of cutting a lock of her hair).
Because 2008 makes Brandon suspicious of Willoughby from the get go, this one makes it so that they know each other and implies that Brandon knows dirt on Willoughby, but then plays the rest of the story straight, which makes it... pretty inconsistent.
Speaking of Brandon, we have reached adaptation #5 that cuts out the fact that he tried to elope with Eliza sr. This time the backstory is that his father promised to let him marry Eliza if he proved himself as a soldier, but when he came back, he found his father has kicked her out of the house. Yeah, that was utter nonsense.
The adaptation makes a clumsy attempt at including the dinner at Mrs Ferrars... but Brandon isn't there to see Marianne defend Elinor.
We needed to have a "Brandon rescues Marianne in the rain" scene, but in this case, she's not faint or anything, he just grabs her because she's sad XD
And the list goes on and on and on. It was to be expected that the shadow of both 95 and 08 would be large over this one, but it truly is to the point that the references and contrivances are almost constant. Which is a pity because I think most of the original choices were interesting.
For example, Marianne twists her ankle running after Margaret, to try and stop her from asking something embarrassing, which is a good choice in terms of showing that Marianne is passionate, but she has more sense than Margaret.
On his deathbed, Mr Dashwood makes Elinor promise that she will take care of her mom and sisters and keep the family together. That added pressure on Elinor works really well in the context of the adaptation, and ads a new layer of interest.
John Dashwood is written mostly as a hapless but not malicious idiot. This is similar to what From Prada to Nada did (though there it made more sense because of the father having two families simultaneously), but I'm not sure where was that going. They did cut the Palmers, so I suppose the choice was so that they could go to Norland instead on their way to Barton (it is never established that Norland is so far away as it is in the book, so I guess one could give it a pass), but in that case, I feel the most cost effective shortcut is... have them go to Barton? Because we do get to see Barton (Marianne goes alone with Brandon to see it close to the end, and they get engaged before Edward returns, don't think much about it, manners and such are... for this movie... loose guidelines. But it isn't super offensive most of the time).
Anne Steele is decent fun as she's supposed to be, but Lucy really suffers the flattening. The mastermind has been flanderized into just a mean girl, and that's a pity.
Oh, Edward is sassy at times! And the sassy jokes land! I have to say it is not my preferred way of doing the character, but he does show some sass at the end of the novel, so, you know, I'll allow it I suppose XD
Edward's return and proposal started pretty good, but it overstayed its welcome. I cannot emphasize enough that, when writing this kind of proposal, you must avoid the word love if you can, and if you must use it, use it once, and with great reluctance.
The movie chooses to dedicate quite a time to the reveal of Edward and Lucy's relationship, and it's honestly... decent? For a scene made out of whole cloth it stands on its own feet reasonably well. But there's no Fanny freakout. This is probably the most shocking plot twist in the adaptation. This very on-the-nose Hallmark adaptation decided to cut the Fanny freakout of all things. Impressive restraint.
One thing, however, that was sadly cut out was Elinor and Marianne's conversation about Willoughby at Barton. It is instead replaced by an unsubtle comparison between Willoughby and Edward, and an exchange between Brandon and Marianne. It is one of the several points where the storytelling relies on previous knowledge of the work.
These are my main, disordered thoughts. I leave you with this choice from the ending, that I cannot form a thought about:
At Elinor and Edward's wedding, on the first pew are in attendance, from center to side: Mrs Dashwood, Margaret, Marianne, colonel Brandon... and Eliza Williams with her baby in her arms.
As a summary, I'd say Elinor and Edward's story was good enough, the relationship between the sisters was sweet, there were some odd choices, some interesting choices, and overall the writing was severely downgraded by attempting so much to stick to the choices of previous famous adaptations.
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“Gwynriel’s know Gwyn cannot carry a book on her own. She needs to piggyback on Nesta’s relevance to even have half a decent storyline and the overarching plot.”
I don’t think any Gwynriel has ever said that Gwyn will be getting her own book. I think most of us have said that Gwyn will have the other pov in Azriel’s book, similar to Cassian in Nesta’s book. Gwyn does have a decent enough storyline and potential plot if you would actually read the scenes that she is in (I’ve actually seen some e/riel’s say that when Gwyn appears they skip the page). Gwyn became the first one to cut the ribbon and become a Valkyrie; she won the Blood Rite and became the first non-Illyrian to do so; there have been many theories on her possibly being connected to Gwydion or possibly finding Narben since acosf came out; she hasn’t left the library but we know that she wants to; she feels unworthy of using her invoking stone; accepting that her sisters death wasn’t her fault; overcoming her trauma and healing; Autumn Court heritage (possibly a Vanserra); whatever is going on with Merrill and the research to other worlds; things we found out from hofas, like the Prison being connected to Nesta, and Gwyn (Emerie also) are her friends and Pegasus used to roam there and we know the Pegasi loved Gwyn the most; Ramiel with the Asteri/daglan, the black monolith at the top, Enalius.
Gwyn definitely has main character energy, it’s just some people don’t want to see the potential. And after hofas, I do believe that it’s Azriel’s that is next (of course it could end up being Elain’s or the novella). Say the next book is Azriel’s and obviously he is the main character with the first pov; Nesta played a big role in hofas, but I don’t think Sarah will give her another book or let her have the other pov, I think it will go to Gwyn since she’s a Valkyrie and connected to Nesta, so this way we can get more information. I really don’t think that the Valkyrie plot line is over.
And wasn’t Sarah originally going to have Nessian’s book be about an Illyrian rebellion or disarray happening in Illyria but scrapped it? Perhaps she’s saving it for Azriel since we know how he feels about that place/his people (similar to how Bryce feels about the fae) and given what we got from hofas (truth teller/Ramiel/Enalius), and it will also tie in the Valkyries, because honestly, I don’t think the males in Illyria are too happy with three women, two of which aren’t Illyrian, participating in the Blood Rite and winning.
and nesta had to "piggyback" off of feyre's relevance, what's their point? that's how spinoffs work
gwyn has heaps of potential as a main character, they're just SO insecure about it, it's plain as day in every word they write. that's why they have to get online to write think pieces about their hatred and downplay gwyn's significance since no one ever taught them how to properly deal with their emotions. basically, they're making it everyone else's problem
i've been here since the dawn of time and have never once seen a gwynriel say gwyn would be the actual mc of a book, we've always theorized about how she, her storyline and her abilities could compliment an az centric story. e/riels know this but they don't have anything proper to cry over so they ignore it and lie, much like they do with the actual books lol
agreed. i feel like hofas only reinforced that the valkyrie plot is far from over, all the connections nesta had with bryce and the dusk court. i definitely think that'll be the valkyries base or something. as much as i love nesta, i feel the same. i don't think she'll get another book or have a centric pov again (obviously this can change), so who is the next character most connected to the valkyries? who helped reform them? who did research on them and was the first to cut the ribbon? who, alongside emerie ANOTHER founding valkyrie, was one of the first females to win the blood rite? the same blood rite that's a sacred illyrian tradition that is connected to azriel, the other acotar character that took center stage in hofas, personally? hmmm... seems like miss janet has quite the coincidence on her hands here!
yup! sjm set up an illyrian rebellion in acofas, showed us that acosf snippet where nessian were going to the illyrian mountains and everyone (rightfully) assumed they were going to deal with that. but years passed and acosf finally came out and the rebellion is just... on the back burner for now? the leader of it was killed quietly off page and now the story centers on the dread trove and valkyrie training but we are still told that another rebellion is brewing. it's clear to me, and many others, that sjm changed her plans a tiiiiny bit and decided to have azriel deal with this plotline. i, for one, am excited to see how sjm handles it!
#wasnt sjm re-contracted for the spinoffs in-between acofas and acosf? or am i being delulu??#i think she had plans for nesta and elains stories and then another that we dont know about#then she changed her plans to include an az book too but who knows!#antielriel#anti e/riel#acotar#azriel#gwyneth berdara#gwynriel#asks#anonymous#well i mean i know she said her plans for the spinoffs didnt change much but i feel like squeezing an az book in wouldnt change a ton#of stuff either. like all this still couldve happened. we're just getting a front row seat you know?#am i making sense? i hope so lol
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ISAT anon here, assuming the big relevation about the king’s motives is the one in chapter 3’s ending and not some further relevation in act 4 I haven’t reached yet, revived deca having similar motives is so. Ough!!!! How have I not thought of it yet?? That is so diabolically evil I need to write it at some point. One of the main reasons I started playing was because I wanted to see if I could draw any lines between deca and the king and so far I am *not* disappointed.
Old mond finding out about the change belief,,, it would be so jarring for them to go from a “everything has to stay the same, the only way to break the dull monotony is to try something new but half of it is illegal now” society to a “do whatever you want forever :)” society. Isn’t the ability to change a personal freedom of sorts? I don’t know much about the change god itself yet but from what I do know Barbatos would approve of them.
I did not know you could talk to the change god but did you know once you fish enough times you can actually catch a fish? I know nothing about the odds or if it fluctuates over time but I found it interesting :D
RIGHT !!! RIGHT ????????
going to put the rest under the cut bc of spoilers but . pointing at you YEAH .
like . like . the Idea of decarabian, perhaps, finding This Mond so …. nice. it’s perfect. but he can’t shield it from the world, that didn’t go so well last time (and this new wind god would give him a piece of their mind if he so much as tried), but maybe. there’s another way to preserve this. there’s another way to keep everyone okay.
but THEN what if he tries that with old mond. my city, my people—they’re all gone. i have nothing. nothing to return to. the things left of me are passed down records, and ruins. what happened to our language? what happened to our beliefs? what Happened, please, tell me. when you all left, what did you take with you? (<- like how much would deccy Mourn. how much would he be in a similar position; of trying to grasp onto grains of sands.)
HONESTLY it would be so cool to see how decarabian would react to the king. both doing something … not so great, out of love, out of grief, out of protection, out of “it’s better this way.” put the two of them in a room what discussion would they have 🎤 (also 👀👀👀👀 revived deccy fic !!!!! looking !!!! and YEAH god theyre both so. shakes them !!!)
ALSO REAL !!!!! like that would be so jarring for them !!!! i wonder if they would spend a while waiting for the other shoe to drop—this has to come with a cost, right? you can’t just. keep. doing. things?? this information cannot be this easily attainable, right? eyes.. eyes and ears are everywhere. (also: nb encountering the list of names for when you change,,,) but YEAH vaugarde is so. mond coded. to not be shackled by anything, to be a helping hand. agh (also giggles !!! barbatos would certainly have many thoughts :3)
ALSO YEAH !!!!!!! ITS COOL, esp the dialogue for the event !!!!!!! sif buddy !!!!?! i dont remember the exact numbers, but i think the chances for it are really really really low ? which . is . Interesting 👁 (also . hey . Hey hey :) another thing. have you …. shown loop anything ………. if not you should Totally totally show them that silver coin sif has there a whole bunch <3)
#for no reason in particular <33333#also on these trains of thoughts—> what would the stars and times gang think of deccy#Esp with mira’s dialogue for when you encounter the king. You think this is Change ?#you think they bowed out of LOVE ? Respect ??????? are you kidding !!!!!#also for added bonus what if they encounted deccy after this journey too. Like oh god not another one#shakes this game !!!!!! shakes all the characters !!!!!!!!#it really is pleasantly surprising how much “oh so This” you can do with all these sillies#Amos and Odile talking .#mirabelle and gunnhildr talking#<- thatd be cathartic for both of them i feel#BUT YEAH#lantern replies#also sorry if this is kinda scattered hhhaa my brain is Sleepy rn but iam ENTHUSIASTICALLY nodding
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oooooh noteworthy au for rwrb 👀👀👀
but also orange au? 👀
I already talked about noteworthy au here but here's a bit more that I can give you on character profiles (note that I don't actually have a lot of musical experience, just school chorus up through middle school so be kind if I've gotten anything wrong):
a capella group alex joins, name tbd: 5 members*
alex: goes by gabriel from middle name gabriella?; tenor, musical theatre major
henry: third generation legacy member, face of the group/the hot one; baritone, music major
philip: third generation legacy member, musical director and president; baritone, music major
pez: he and alex get into trouble together, event planner/treasurer; tenor, dance major
liam: also from texas like alex so they bond over that, same year as alex; bass, visual arts major
*originally the a capella group in noteworthy has 8 members but I don't feel like coming up with 3 more male ocs with unique personalities (as hunter and spencer are part of a rival a capella group) so we're leaving it at 5 for now
reading this back, I'm actually now tempted to switch henry and pez in terms of their vocal registers because I think it would be very cool and gender of pez to have a deeper voice while caring fuck all about the gender binary, but I'm also a little attached to alex-pez tenors and all the mischief they get up to
--
as for orange au, this one is based on the manga/anime orange by ichigo takano and is for omniscient reader's viewpoint. I'm not sure how much you (or most of my other followers) know about orv, there are some very light orv spoilers, and orange is a story that deals with some heavy topics, so it's all going below the cut (including the content warnings)
cw: suicide, depression
first, here's a link to a very good overview of orv in terms of what it is, a summary of the plot, why it's special, about the characters/their relationships, and some caveats. it's a little long so feel free to read only as much as you want for context
what you need to know for its relevance to this au idea is that through reading orv you slowly find out that its main character kim dokja is a self-sacrificial piece of shit (affectionate) who is also very much allergic to emotional intimacy due to some childhood trauma. in the world of orv (fantastical, apocalyptic), he often will make his own plans to sacrifice himself in exchange for saving his friends' lives despite their repeated instance that they don't want him to do this and they'd rather figure out alternative plans
so it's very easy to map this tendency to the plot of orange, which is about a high school student who is trying to prevent the death of a friend after receiving letters from her future self in a parallel universe where she (and her larger friend group) lost this friend to suicide. the letters suggest ideas on how to make this friend feel less alone and less suicidal by making different decisions at critical points, as her future self (and the other friends' future selves) is very regretful that she didn't try harder to be there for him because no one realized he was struggling so badly
obviously this story isn't super realistic for a number of reasons, including the fact that the most any of us can take on is trying to be supportive of friends/family/etc who are struggling, not actually be responsible for keeping them alive. that is not a reasonable responsibility to take on and would be far too heavy for the person/people carrying it. also responsible adults and professionals should absolutely be consulted in this type of scenario, which is never brought up in the context of the story. insert many more caveats here that i cannot currently think of
however, at the same time, i also think that the story does a really good job of exploring themes of inevitability, regret, and choice which is why it's stuck with me for 7.5 years now. plus i think it just works really well with the characters of orv which is why I want to make an au of it
ask me about my wips
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Just me, screaming into the void to get something off my chest. Read more beneath the cut?
Like many out there, I am an adult child of some very authoritarian parents. “Do what I say, when I say, because I say so.” No room for questions. Questions equate to “back-talk”, and that will be punished, sometimes severely. Discipline the child for any transgression, because they are a child, and we are adults, and complete obedience is paramount. Anything less is simply not acceptable. The list goes on and on.
It’s taken me a while to realize exactly how that’s impacted me, over the years, and the number of my personality traits I can attribute to how I grew up is astonishing, to say the least. I’m not saying this or posting this to place blame, since everything that happened is in the past, and cannot be changed, and now I would much rather just move on, and try to better myself as much as I can. I guess I’m just trying to sort out my ongoing thoughts on everything I’m learning as I’m trying to improve? And this seemed like the best space to do that, at least for now.
The last two times I’ve seen my parents, it’s been like something has possessed me to try and talk about this with them. In the past, it absolutely would’ve been coming from a desire to lay on the blame, or desperate need for an apology; basically just approaching it all from a very negative area in my own heart and mind. But these two specific instances were completely different. I came at it from a completely hypothetical angle, trying to make it very clear that I was not putting them on trial for anything they did, specifically. For his part, during all of this, my father remained almost completely silent, the entire time, but my mom?
Oh wow, did she ever get defensive.
Retrospectively, I suppose I should’ve seen that coming. It’s not like it’s a secret that she’s never been open to perceived criticism of any kind. But what really threw me was her absolute refusal to even consider that any of what she did might’ve been handled in a different way.
“I refuse to apologize for how I raised you.” Her exact words. She then went on to bring up a time when she and my father had blamed me for something I truly did not do (I was around five when this happened), and punished me for it accordingly, as though this somehow had any relevance to what we were trying to discuss at the time. Still trying to make sense of that one.
Anyway, compared to how I would’ve reacted to this a year ago, I did not respond with anger. Both times, I allowed her to say her piece, vent, release her own anger, or whatever you want to call it, and remained completely calm. It did not turn into a huge fight that ended in name-calling, or someone storming away, and the subject was changed to something else not long after. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
Maybe it’s yet another result of said authoritarian parenting, but I cannot fathom the complete inability to accept that she might have been wrong, at least once. As someone who has always erred on the side of assuming that I am always wrong, it completely boggles my mind. My gut instinct whenever I detect even a whiff of wrong-doing is to apologize, even if it’s not really needed (I’m that person that says ‘sorry’ for saying ‘sorry’), so the idea that admitting to being ‘wrong’ is the end of the world is just something I cannot wrap my mind around.
What I’ve learned from this, I suppose, is that I should stop trying to bring the topic up at all, from any angle, and I fully plan to work on starting to accept that right now. But I've discovered that it all still boils down to an authoritarian mindset, even though my parents are in their sixties, now, and I am thirty-five. It’s still very much the mentality of “what we say is law” even though I haven’t lived under their roof in ten years. Discussion is not an option. In essence, I am not, and never will be an adult with a right to my own opinions in their mind (at least not if they differ from theirs). But where a year ago that would’ve made me incredibly angry, now?
Now it just makes me sad.
So what is the point of this post, you might ask? Honestly? Other than for me to just toss all of my jumbled thoughts into the void, I don’t really know. I guess at the very least, I’m just trying to advocate for change. At its core, discipline is not inherently wrong, but it should be done in a way that is appropriate for the child. In a way that encourages them to learn about the world, and their place in it, instead of preaching mindless submission.
As a disclaimer, I am not a parent, and likely will never become one, so I don’t know the first thing about the difficulties raising tiny humans can bring. I don’t know how terrifying it can be to know you are responsible for molding them into the human that they might one day become. But there has to be a way to find balance between ensuring your children know right from wrong, and ensuring that they grow up thinking they are inferior in every possible way. Because it’s taken me thirty five years just to start trying to move forward. To start trying to change how I view not only myself, but the world as a whole.
And I won’t even pretend to think that would have ever happened if others (you know who you are 💕) hadn’t been patient enough to guide me there, first.
#text post#the exhausted pigeon rambles#parenting styles#authoritarian parenting#or rather authoritarian parenting and its consequences#trying to process#adult child of authoritarian parents#trauma or something like it#so so grateful I can come at this without anger at my parents now#but man has it taken a long time
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I'm really, really tired of being in a position where I am made to feel tired.
I don't say this to shirk accountability. I say this because in many and multiple ways the position that one is placed in to occupy by man-made systematic forces is meant to be restricted and frustrating, and we are supposed to apparently simply accept it.
Sitting here having just hit 'accept all changes' on the edits on a document that I am supposed to sign and claim as my own words on what is effectively a legal document that I am submitting to a regulatory board related to the internship program that I am undertaking via my institution.
The thing about why I absolutely hate people going in and making edits to something you've written is that they're literally overwriting you.
The Cambridge dictionary defines '[to] overwrite' as '[to] replace'. Searching the word 'overwrite' turns up a definition by the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (5th edition) as "to destroy or lose (old data) by recording new data over it", or "to record (new data) on top of already stored data, thus destroying the old data". Another definition from the Century Dictionary states that to overwrite is "to superscribe; entitle", while WordNet 3.0 from Princeton University describes it as to "write new data on top of existing data and thus erase the previously existing data" [x].
You see this happening in the way mainstream 'Western' news writes about occupied Palestine. It's the way colonisers work. Hierarchical power structures and those who occupy a position they've structured to be above yours erase you, destroy you, occupy you, write over you. It's literally replacing your voice with theirs. Shouting over you, talking over you.
In 'Western' academic settings, supervisors and such do this all the time. They go in and cross out, strike out, and these days on digital writing software erase your words and replace them with their own.
It's ironic that in the psychological field where even this document section draft contains fields relevant to cultural and other competencies, or as in the case of my Honours thesis which was a reflexive qualitative research piece requiring position statements including that of my supervisor's, that this going in and manipulating others' statements and words and rewriting them completely goes on.
I come from a country that was colonised by the British. We speak the coloniser's language - I speak the coloniser's language - as our first language. Our educational systems are those of the colonisers'. They continue to "correct" me in their language, which I speak better than them because we were taught it and are judged by it, and by them still.
It is absolutely fucking ignominy.
Sitting here with these sliding and locking into place like a box around me I realise too that the constant chant of 'death, death, death' that resounds in my head when I approach anything to do with school is this, because of this, because this is what it is. That I must submit myself to this and that I am subjected to this is a kind of slow death process, repeated over and over again like that death by a thousand small cuts.
And that it is that but it is also the very real spectre of death of being asked to work for an entire year without payment and instead to pay to undertake this course, because of course working without recompense means where does one get the money to pay rent and buy food? Someone asking you to work for a whole year without pay is asking you to die, especially in this economy, is it not?
People working in the psychological healthcare field talk about how you can't pour from an empty cup, and yet. They talk about not martyring yourself by providing your care for free and yet that is what we are being asked to do by organisations who will not pay their interns.
I cannot see this as anything else other than them asking you to simply just go and die. It is truly insane. And my brain isn't wrong to read this as "death death death" nor to want to distance myself from it completely and not to go near it because that is correct, that is exactly what it is.
I can't reconcile the cognitive dissonance, because I am not reading this wrong. The litany of "death death death" is a warning and a recognition. I'm not mentally unwell, I'm reading my situation and it says violence and death.
And I am supposed to provide mental health care to people.
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I appreciate the input, and I understand where you're coming from and already agree with some of what you're saying! CommonCrawl's sets exist for public use for exactly the kind of analysis you describe, this is a good thing, yes. Fully agree with you there and have never disagreed with that. The part where I get lost is...correct me if I'm wrong, but to your way of thinking, the datasets are vast enough to dilute any chance of regurgitated phrases or direct plagiarism, so no harm, no foul? Nobody's livelihood is threatened, therefore all is well?
Assuming that is more or less where you're coming from...again, I hear you, but I have trouble engaging with that stance because it doesn't actually address my problem. I'm not worried about regurgitation. My problem is not with the output at all.
My problem is with scraped data being used for massive profit on a massive scale with no permission or compensation. Full stop, that is where "is this ethical" begins and ends for me. Is it ethical to use someone else's work to generate billions-- not an exaggeration-- of dollars of profit? No. What if it's ten million "someone else"s, is it ethical then? No. What if it's JSTOR developing their own tool, relying on the tool that uses the unpaid work of ten million someone elses-- is that ethical? No. Can that be ethical? No. It can be used to do good things, but it cannot be used ethically; these statements are not mutually exclusive.
From where I'm sitting, the size of the dataset or dilution of any one piece in relation to the whole is not relevant except to indicate how many people have been exploited to develop these tools. I used sand as my analogy for a reason-- it's easy to look at the sandbox of generative AI and say, "no single grain meaningfully influenced the building of that castle. The amount any particular grain contributed to the whole is minimal." No one is hurt when the robot builds a sand castle, so who cares about the individual grains?
Me. I do. The castle could not exist without those individual grains, every single one of which took a human person some amount of time to make (time, and education, and practice, and labor, and thought, and energy; we're talking hours and days and years of work) and every single one of which is being used to generate enormous profit without permission or compensation.
That's my problem. You may not agree that this is a reasonable concern, and that's okay! We'll agree to disagree.
I'll address fair use under the cut, because I think I may not have been super clear on what I meant about that, and trying to explain it got a little long. It doesn't change anything up here, though, so if you wanna skip it that's totally cool. (And yes, let's assume we're talking exclusively about text-based stuff lol, image stuff is a topic for another post. My stance is the same, though.) Anyway, "fair use" in this context refers to a legal doctrine, not a moral judgment.
When I say there are fair use problems with generative AI, I mean that from a legal perspective. You may already have known that, I don't know-- you disagree that there are problems under fair use, but...your post doesn't really discuss fair use at all? Legally? You do sort of touch on one of the factors, the fourth one, and to be clear, it's a solid argument. Another argument would be that use of copyrighted materials in developing and training generative AI is transformative. That's up for debate, but it is an argument I've seen and I understand the reasoning behind it. I also understand why we wouldn't want it to fall under scrutiny.
But there are also arguments against fair use here, enough that several copyright lawsuits to that effect have already been brought against Microsoft and OpenAI and I think a couple of other corporations. (Disclaimer-- I'm an accountant, not a lawyer. What I'm saying is effectively recapping what I've read previously from actual lawyers, and I'm googling as I go to make sure I am not flat-out wrong on the face of this, lol.)
In evaluating a claim under the fair use doctrine, courts typically look at four factors:
Purpose and character of the use, including whether the use is for profit,
Nature of the copyrighted work,
Amount and substantiality of the copyrighted work as a whole, and
Effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.
Currently, I believe the defense of AI (and your stance, I think?) has mostly been riding on that last one. No chance of plagiarism means no effect on the market value of the original works! They're diluted beyond recognition! That's points in AI's favor.
But the third point up there is basically asking, "how much of the copyrighted material was used to create the work claimed to be protected under fair use?" and this one is the reason fanartists are, by and large, able to make some money on their fanworks while fanauthors really are not. A drawing is a still image, so it "uses" only small pieces of the original work overall in its creation; a written story, on the other hand, can be (and has been) argued to have "used" a significant portion of the original work. If I paint fanart of something for...idk, Supernatural or some other long-running show and sell it, well, I didn't use a substantial amount of the show to create the art. It's a still image; in context of the show it'd be a single frame among millions. But if I write a 500,000 word fanfic that draws on multiple characters and events and plot points from multiple seasons...that's a lot more of the source material! If I sell that, I'm way more likely to get sued than if I painted something.
So-- amount of source material used in comparison to the whole of the source material and profit generated are both problems under fair use. Here again is core of my argument as to why the current setup is inherently, inescapably unethical.
When it comes to data scraping, the original works in their entirety have been used. And they are being used to generate enormous profit. Microsoft gave ten billion dollars to OpenAI last year, that is not insignificant. Profit and substantiality are problems under the fair use doctrine, and-- again-- enough lawyers have agreed with that statement to take multiple cases to court over this. So far, the courts have not ruled in their favor and I can see why, but my point is simply that this is a fair use issue! We don't have to agree one way or the other on what bits are more or less important-- I'm just explaining why I said what I did and why I do stand by it. Yes, there are arguments to be made in either direction, but if you are familiar with fair use, you will see issues here.
But ultimately, fair use isn't really part of my argument. More just an aside. Maybe generative AI is perfectly defensible on all counts under fair use and I've just got my head up my ass, it's whatever. I'm interested to see how the various cases play out. Either way, even if generative AI is 100% defensible under the fair use doctrine, I do not agree that its use in its current setup is ethical.
If you've made it this far, kudos, and thank you for listening. Again, I absolutely do see your point, and I'm sorry, but I disagree. Theft for profit cannot be diluted to a point where it can be called ethical.
Why is JSTOR using AI? AI is deeply environmentally harmful and steals from creatives and academics.
Thanks for your question. We recognize the potential harm that AI can pose to the environment, creatives, and academics. We also recognize that AI tools, beyond our own, are emerging at a rapid rate inside and outside of academia.
We're committed to leveraging AI responsibly and ethically, ensuring it enhances, rather than replaces, human effort in research and education. Our use of AI aims to provide credible, scholarly support to our users, helping them engage more effectively with complex content. At this point, our tool isn't designed to rework content belonging to creatives and academics. It's designed to allow researchers to ask direct questions and deepen their understanding of complex texts.
Our approach here is a cautious one, mindful of ethical and environmental concerns, and we're dedicated to ongoing dialogue with our community to ensure our AI initiatives align with our core values and the needs of our users. Engagement and insight from the community, positive or negative, helps us learn how we might improve our approach. In this way, we hope to lead by example for responsible AI use.
For more details, please see our Generative AI FAQ.
#i am well aware that the logical end point of my problem is ''this technology should not exist in its current state at all''#and i'm well aware that mine is not a popular stance#but i say this as someone who works with a lot of small businesses (''small'' meaning under $25MM/yr): if your business cannot afford#to pay its employees & contractors living wages#then your business is a failure. you have failed. if the only way you make profit is by exploiting and undervaluing others' work#then your profit is stolen wages#this generative ai dataset nonsense is the same thing but instead of wages it's...royalties. i suppose. residuals.#i don't think there's a fully accurate term for it yet; the law has not caught up#my point is: i cannot claim to support everyone's right to receive the fair value of their labor#and then turn around and cheerfully ask a robot to build me a sandcastle out of stolen fucking labor#that does not fucking follow. i am sorry but those are incompatible stances.#i am not normally this inflexible#but the only way this follows is if you believe art (including written art) is not actually work with any value#in which case#i'm going to break into your home and take an enormous shit in the vegetable drawer of your refrigerator#but also you are factually wrong - it is valuable work - as proven by OpenAI's bottom fucking line#currently built on massive art theft#long post#and yes i am aware of OpenAI Global's corporate structure#it does not actually change my stance#frankly even if they were still a nonprofit-- which now they are a for-profit subsidiary of their parent non-profit (gee i wonder why)#(just kidding i don't have to wonder)-- even if they were still a nonprofit i'd have the same problem#nonprofits still generate profit; the difference is they can't distribute those profits to shareholders#but they can pay them to their employees and executives (:#ai bs
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Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x reader
Genre: smut
Trope: city girl x farm boy
Warnings: bondage, name calling, bad writing
Word count: ~4.4k
A/N: yeah I have no words this came to me randomly while I was listening to country (something I never do) so here’s my first smut piece lol I haven’t written anything in MONTHS, so here is my baby I wrote in like 2 hours (also something I’ve never done before)💀 this is badly written bc it’s 2:30am and I cannot be bothered to proofread sorry
What does a woman running late for her job with less than a quarter gallon of gas and a horse have in common? Well, eventually they both run out of gas. Or was that just you? Probably. Here you were on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere trying to contact your job, your friends, anyone really. So much for a support system since your cries for help went unanswered before you completely lost battery. Yeah, you forgot to charge your phone after a night out with your friends, go figure.
You let out a resigned sigh as you sit in your car with the door open as the beautifully unpleasant waft of cow dung and freshly cut grass assaulted your senses. Fully giving up, you reach for the coffee you made 2 hours ago, grimacing at the relevation that it was now more like a nice cold coffee. Looking at the scenery, you tried to make yourself feel better. Hey, at least the cows are cute right? They’re staring at you with their beady little eyes, nothing behind them as they chewed away at some of the grass you strongly smelled. Just then, a cow came up close and you almost considered touching it like you would your cat Oreo, the sweet little thing. You refrained, of course, as you hadn’t hit a complete mental rock bottom at that point yet.
Just then, the cow took a huge dump right then to you, the smell from before intensifying due to obvious reasons.
You cursed the damned cow and fled the scene locking your car. That was definitely the motivation you needed to look for help nearby. Cows meant farms, right? And farms meant people. People that could help you get home. To Oreo. Or your dead end job. As you walked along the worn down fence separating you from the not-so-cute cows, you really took in your scenery. This was always a busy road as cars would often zoom by due to the scarcity of police officers in such a rural area as well as the naturally high speed limit of 60.
Nobody wants to get stuck here.
Literally no one.
It may be in the middle of nowhere, but it was quite nice. There was this thing called nature all around you if you ignored the 6 lanes that were present to your left, the 6 lanes you were speeding through only minutes before. The most of nature you usually get is the trees planted between pavement in front of your apartment building and your little cacti named Kiwi. This was kind of a nice change of pace, even if you hated to admit it.
Walking through dirt in heels is not ideal, but it had to do as you couldn’t stand the thought of dirt clinging to your feet, unknowing when you’d next take a shower. Even though you walked for an eternity, you could see no sign of life other than the few animals scattered throughout, which definitely didn’t calm your nerves.
You stopped for a second and leaned against the fence post, ignoring the possible germs it could bring with it, and blew raspberries as entertainment. You were really teaching your whits end. You may ask yourself, why don’t you flag down a car? Well, no. That’s why. We don’t do that around here.
Moving on, you continued your trek and went on for a bit more, thanking your decision to get comfortable heels. In the faint distance, you could see some sort of house structure. You squinted to better make it out and you realized it was a farm! It was quite a stellar incentive to increase the pace of your steps and you got to the entrance in only a few minutes.
You groaned in discomfort at the unusual amount of physical exercise you had to do this early in the morning and fixed up your appearance. Bun, redone. Skirt, straightened out. Shirt, saved from wrinkling. Sweat, gone. You marched up to the front door and knocked on the door only to be met with silence. You waited a few minutes until you knocked again. Met with the same reaction, you walked away and noticed an open gate. You walked towards it and sank into mud. Internally crying you marched on and looked out to see different farm animals. Horses, cows, sheep, pigs, anything you can think of was there. Whoever was running this shit meant business, you thought.
You struggled through the viscous mud and rounded a corner only to your greatest joy to find a person! Finally! With renewed vigor, you splashed until you could get in earshot of him.
“Hey! Hi! Uhm I broke down down the road and I was…” you trailed off as he turned around and you caught a glimpse of your possible savior. You were so consumed in your will to go home you never even surveyed who you were approaching. He had long, fluffy black hair that spilled over his forehead in curtain bangs and gorgeous silver dangling from his ears, nose, mouth, and eyebrow. A beautifully strong neck with a gorgeously buff body peeking out from the loosely hanging overalls he had on. His Timberlands were covered in mud and possibly fences but that didn’t deter you from appreciating the beauty of this specimen you found while you should’ve been at work. You almost were glad you broke down, if the consequences weren’t as bad as they are with your job. Almost. A goth cowboy farmer boy? You were signed up since the moment he turned around. His beautiful doe almond eyes shone as they looked at you in seemingly both surprise and concern.
“…iss? Miss? Are you okay?” You blinked a few times and willed yourself to snap out of it. You weren’t a teenager for goodness’ sake! You smiled bashfully and apologized, then explained your situation to the best of your ability. He nodded along and gasped at the right parts and you didn’t forget to include how your coffee had gone cold untouched. Offering his deepest condolences, he offered to make you coffee while you were tracking a bead of sweat running down his hairline onto his chest bones.
“Miss? Is everything alright? I think you’d better come inside, the heat could be getting to you.” You considered declining for a good few seconds before deciding, fuck it. You might as well. You took him up on his offer and he took you into his home. It was nicely decorated in almost a modern barn house way, but instead of white, the most common color was black. From the front door a loveseat was poised in front of a old-looking TV with an equally antique radio which emitted something you remembered from your ballet dance recitals you used to do. You nearly cringed, but kept scanning your eyes around. Next to you, on the opposite side of the living room area, was the dining room. Dark oak wooden chairs paired with a beautifully crafted table. What caught your attention was the fact that each table leg and every chair had intricately carved details, stories you remember you’d read as a child. You lightly grazed the nearest chair, admiring the craftsmanship before the man turned around after taking off his shoes and saw you halfway through his home.
“You like ‘em, miss?” You turned around a blushes slightly, caught in your act. You nodded, “yes, it’s gorgeous. Ive never seen something like this. Who made it?” You looked at him expecting a designer’s name or something like a neighbor gifted it to him but instead was met with, “oh I did, miss. My pride and joy. Spent a few months and then some on each piece.” Your eyes grew in size as your shock increased. You weren’t expecting it, but it also wasn’t too surprising. There’s not a single soul for miles around, after all. He chucked at your reaction.
“These are absolutely beautiful, uhm…” you looked at him in question. He lit up remembering he never told you his name, a shining smile crossing his face.
“Ah, name’s Jungkook, miss! Jeon Jeongguk. Sorry for not introducing myself sooner. And you are…?” You told him your name and smiled back, albeit a little more reserved than he was. He offered to make you some food and some coffee to replace the one you couldn’t drink, something which you pretended to ponder accepting before you gave him a resound yes. You’d take anything he gave you. Poison, food, a place to stay, his bed, his cock. Woah. Okay. Take a step back partner. You rounded the wall which separated the living room from the kitchen and surveyed the area once more. To your left there was a fairly new-looking kitchen with a table and two chairs. It definitely seemed like it had more worn and tear compared to the beautiful craftsmanship you’d had the opportunity to touch. The dark theme continued even with the fridge being a darker steel, the other appliances following. It all seemed pretty high tech, so it got you curious.
“Hey, do you have good electricity here?” He looked over at you from where he was whisking up something for you to eat and smiled, looking back down.
“Well, kinda…? Nothin’ like what ya get at the city I’ll tell you that, missy. Still works well enough, anyway.” You wondered how he got so much metal on him if he seems to speak like he’s never gone to the city, so it prompts you to ask, “how’d you get so many piercings this far out? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” He lets out a chuckle and turns his attention fully to you.
“Well, I have city friends. They come every once in a while. I been a country boy since I was kickin’, if ya wanted to know.” He humorously smiled and went back to his task. You sat down at the table, feeling everything shift slightly under your weight. You took out your phone and tried to see if by some miracle it started working, but to no avail. Looking up and seeing you, he remembered something he was going to tell you, eyebrows rising.
“Ah, missy! I forgot to tell ya! I got a land phone with connection you can use! It slipped my mind. And yeah, no, I don’t got any chargers. Sorry.” He answered quickly before you could even think to ask, but you were grateful for at least having a method of communication. You took him up on his offer and searched your brain for a possible phone number you could call. He took you to the antique method of communication and you dislodged it from its rightful place. The phone beeped as you punched in the numbers into the number pad. At least it isn’t a rotary phone. It rang for a few seconds before the other person picked up.
“Hello? Who’s this?”
“Hey mom, it’s me,” you informed.
“Oh my goodness, my darling! Ive been trying to reach you!”she exclaimed, worry evident in her voice.
“I know, I ran out of battery. A nice guy lent me his phone and I was able to call.”
“A nice guy, you say?” Her voice took a suggestive turn, a stark contrast to her earlier one.
“Mom, please. Im stranded like forty minutes away from the city.” You begged, hoping you could reason with her. Yeah, you were 25, but you didn’t need to settle down at that age! If only your mom didn’t think otherwise.
“Right. Well, I can go get you if you tell me where it is possibly uhhh…tomorrow? Tomorrow mornin—no! Afternoon! Sorry, work. Yeah.” You could hear her nervously scrambling to correct herself, knowing this was just some ploy to get you to know the guy.
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“I know what you’re trying to do.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Now hang tight and make a friend! Loveyoubye!” “Mo—!”before you could get another word in, she hung up. The line went dead and you hung it back up, leaning against the wall. You grimaced for the second time that day. She was really doing this to you. Well, the more you thought about it, the less bad it seemed. You were stranded in a farm with a hot goth boy who carved as a hobby and seemed to know how to cook. What’s better? Good in bed? God, how you wanted to find out.
Walking back towards the kitchen, you caught a glimpse of what you could only guess was his bedroom. His bed was dressed in black silk sheets which reflected the afternoon light and the rest of the room followed the dark theme. Before you took too long, you willed yourself towards the kitchen and sat down with a huff.
“What’d they say?”
“My mom said she can’t pick me up until tomorrow afternoon,” you groaned. He awwed at the statement and finished the preparations to his “simple meal”. He brought 2 plates and a cup in front of you, which you thanked him for before you surveyed the plates. The first bigger plate contained some what looked like chicken and a salad while the smaller plate contained a prettily plated apple pie. The cup, beautifully enough, contained some steaming coffee. Your eyes almost watered as you thanked him and began eating.
“Sorry I cant offer you anything better, miss. If i had know a pretty little thing like you would break down and need my help I would’ve been better prepared.” You blushed at his statement and commented on how good the meat and veggies were.
“Raised the meat and got the veggies from my garden myself! All pretty fresh, since I only killed the poor thing a day ago.” He exclaimed proudly, a sad quality to his voice after the second part. He cheered up pretty fast and said,” and I baked the apple pie a few hours ago actually! I hope you like it, too.” He finished. He was almost bashful. You complimented his food and he informed you he still had some stuff to do out in the farm.
“Ah! If you need any fresh clothes you can look through my stuff and find something,” he finished with a smile. You thanked him and continued eating as he walked out the house and went on with his day. The house was now silent save for the occasional animal noise and the movement of grass with breeze. Finishing your last bite of apple pie, you got up with the coffee and headed towards the assumed bedroom. He didn’t mention where it was, but you doubted he cared whether you looked through his stuff or not. Not like he was here anyway. You set the cup down on one of his dressers and rummaged for something to wear. The uniform was getting pretty stuffy in the heat of the house, so a nice shirt and some pants would do the trick. You took off all your clothes and considered taking off your underwear too. What if something ends up happening? You want to sleep with him so bad. Ultimately, you took everything off. Naked, you took his most see-through-looking white shirt and a pair of his boxers, the only bottom part that fit after tying it a bit. You ran your hands between your thighs to quell your excitement at not having any undergarments and lowly squealed. You hoped your pressing didn’t show how wet you were. You went out to find him with his shoes on, even if they didn’t fit. Hey, they felt like you were wearing your dad’s shoes, but it got the job done. You found him feeding the horses at the stable before what seemed like bath time, soap and a hose ready to go.
“Hey!” You exclaimed. He looked your way and immediately almost choked in surprise, his face turning red.
“I see you… uhm… got comfortable, miss.” He choked out. You internally grinned and nodded,” yeah these fit best and they’re quite nice. Is it okay?”you feigned innocence, pretending like you didn’t elaborately search for both of these pieces with a goal in mind. He shook his head and informed you he was doing exactly what you thought, bathing the horses. It seemed like he was doing that before you got here as he was on the last horse. You asked if you could help and he accepted, smiling humorously. At what, you don’t know. He let the hose run over the horse for a bit before he shut it off, something that gave you an idea. You were going to make it as messy as you could and try to get yourself completely wet, making the already almost see through shirt stick to your body. The perfect plan, if anyone asked you. It would make him want you, you were sure. At the very least start wanting you. What you didn’t know, is that he was restraining himself to the highest degree from pouncing on you right now. You were beautiful from the moment he saw you and he could tell you found him attractive. This act of dressing up in these kinds of clothes just further confirmed it. You lathered the horse in its special soap and made sure to stick to it accidentally, dampening your shirt. Your nipples poked from the cold and wetness and you could even see the pink of them. Jeongguk turned on the hose and you “accidentally” didn’t move out the way. You exclaimed in pretend shock and he immediately shut off the water and ran over to you. You were completely soaked and you feigned sadness over being all wet. He knew what you were getting at. He knew it wasn’t a mistake. He was onto you.
“Oh no miss! You didn’t move out the way! Sorry.” He feigned as well. You sulked a little and went to go back to giving the horse a second coat of soap when he caught you by your waist. He pushed your body against his and got close to your face, so much so you could count the freckles on his cheeks. You only squealed lightly from shock.
“I know what you’re trying to do, miss. You know, trying to be innocent doesn’t work on me,” he breathed out, voice husky. You blushed, not thinking you’d be found out so quickly.
“Let’s say we skip this part and get straight to business. What do you say?” He inquires, a raises brow making his piercing shine in the light. You nod and he presses harder.
“Yes. Or. No,” he presses. You breathe out a “yes” and he immediately smacks your mouth against his. His tongue makes his way into your mouth and both of your tongues dance together. He pats the horse and it starts to trot away, almost as if understanding it was a moment not for its eyes. He walks you back, still making out, until you reach what you think might be hay and he breaks the kiss only to press you down against it. Breathing heavily, he goes back for another kiss and begins moving his hands over your body. He touches your tits and squeezes them both, arousing a surprised moan from you. He breaks the kiss and begins flicking your hard nipples through the fabric.
“This is what you wanted, right? Right, little miss?” You moan in response and he spanks your tits.
“Give me and answer, missy.” You flush answer, “yes, this is exactly what I wanted please don’t stop.” He lowers his head onto your nipples and begins sucking them and moving them around, playing with them like they’re joysticks. You don’t think you’ve ever been this turned on. You can physically feel your juices dripping down your thighs. You moan feverishly, almost like you’ve never been touched by a man. He then, bites your nipple and stretches out before letting it go. Without warning, he presses against your center and you let out a choked moan.
“Look at you. I can feel how wet you are, baby. You haven’t had anyone as good as me, now have you?” He asks and you answer with a resound no. No man has ever been able to make you into a pool of goo and have you waterfall from your pussy like he has. He returns his assault on your clothed boobs while keeping pressure on your cunt and you cant take it anymore. You begin rubbing against his leg and he stops his manouvers completely. He stares at you as you rub against his leg like a bitch in heat, leaving a noticeable dark spot on his denim overall pants. He chuckles darkly and removes his thigh causing you to whine. He urges you to open your eyes, something you didn’t even know you had done, and held your face firmly to look straight at him.
“Did i say you could use me to get off? Hmm? You were rubbing against me like a fucking whore. Are you that desperate, huh? You wanna get fucked that badly?” He spoke so disrespectfully to you, but god. You fucking loved it. It was only a few seconds before you started to beg. “Yes, I’m your whore. I want your cock so badly, please.” He hummed at your answer and left you altogether. You protested only to be told to shut up. You did so, and was incredibly turned on in the process. He came back with what looked like restraints.
“I usually use these with the horses, but who would’ve thought I’d have to use them on some pretty little slut who stumbled across me today,” he smirked. You whined and playfully fought against his restraints, only to have his seat at your ass. The spank caused you to let out a long, lustful moan and it only made his Cheshire grin bigger.
“Oh? My sweet little bitch likes to be spanked too? Fucking look at you.” He finished restraining you, leaving your arms and legs unable to move.
“This is what you get for using me to get off without permission, missy. You left me no choice.” You whined and moves your pelvis up and down, trying to show him where you wanted him. He smirked and walked away again. You groaned in frustration again and he answered back,
“I’m gonna wash my hands, pretty. Im sure you don’t want any infections.” You simmered down and waited for his return, one that was swift. He smiled and looked at you only for a frown to overcome his face. You inquired him what was wrong and he said, “you’re wearing too many clothes.” Immediately after, he ripped his shirt apart and the boxers, both ruined garments falling limply besides you. He licked his lips looking at your body and surveyed your pussy, finding it dripping. He chucked and spanked your clit, something that made you jolt and moan.
“You’re dripping, baby. I’ve barely even done anything, too… hmm, well you’ve taken your consequences quite well, so why doesn’t little missy get a reward, eh?” You nodded enthusiastically and he smiled, ruffling your hair. Immediately he plugged up your begging hole with two thick fingers, causing you to howl in pain. Its been a while since you had anything in there. Soon enough, though, the whimpers of pain turned into moans of pleasure as he fingered you at a fast and hard pace while rubbing your clit. He was repeatedly hitting your g spot and you felt like you had to pee. Afraid to pee on him, you urged him to stop.
“H…hey J—Jeongg…ungh… Jeongguk…. I think I’m gonna… gonna… pee!” By the end of your sentence you were screaming as you watched clear juices spill out of you. That was new. “What we’re you saying?” He inquired with a smirk. As you panted, he lowered himself and began licking at your pussy. He ate you out with vigor you never knew in your life from past partners until he made you cum with just his tongue, without needing the aid of anything else. As you came down from your orgasm, he came up and kissed you as your juices ran down his chin. He looked you in the eyes and asked almost shyly, a stark change in demeanor, “you think I can fuck you?” You breathlessly chuckled and answered, “fuck yeah.”
He took off his overalls as soon as you said that, grinning madly. The lowering of the overalls showed his beautifully sculpted abs and pecs clearly and the lower he went the more you realized he wasn’t wearing any underwear. His dick sprung to life leaking precum from its pink tip. He took his hand and jerked himself a little before he lined up at your entrance and looked at you questioningly. You nodded and he went in slowly. Your juices made the ability for friction disappear and soon he started pounding into your weeping pussy. He reached down and choked you lightly as he began stimulating your clit again and you screamed in overstimulation. He didn’t give up and eventually you began feeling pleasure and his cock rammed into you relentlessly. He panted as he fucked into your cunt and your pussy squeezed his dick. You moaned in pleasure, despite your restricted air flow and he groaned from the feel of his dick fucking your pussy. Soon enough, you came to your end squeezing his dick like a python and he pulled it out. He jerked off and came over your stomach and tits covering them entirely.
“Fuck, if I had a phone I would’ve definitely taken a picture of this. You look beautiful like this, miss.” He panted and you chuckled breathlessly. You both stared at each other attempting to catch your breaths in silence. He was the first who broke it.
“So… wanna take a shower?”
#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#farmer!jungkook#dom!jungkook#yeah this was completely unplanned#idk how i squeezed it out of my brain#bts smut#bts x reader#fanfic#jungkook fanfic#smut
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T&B2 Thoughts: Episode 6 – Youth should be regarded with respect.
Episode 6 ramblings under the cut!
- I got excited that they were on a date for three seconds and it turns out they're making a damn commercial. Dateblock #3! Why are you doing this to them?!? And also to us?!?!
- Also how bad is this soup that even Kotetsu is noping out. This man will eat literally anything.
- Finally, we get to see more from Dragon Kid and Magical Cat, who haven’t been around much as the focus has been on the other hero partners. I just love Kid trying so damn hard to be a good mentor; it warms my heart. She was the youngest in the previous series and so it's really cool to see her as a senpai now.
- Good lord Cat's mom is a piece of work. In the Discord server I'm in, we've talked a lot about how she's like one of those dance moms who's trying to live vicariously through her kid, and boy, do you see it here with how she ascribes the worst possible motivation to everything Dragon Kid's doing. You have to wonder if Cat's even a hero because she wants to be, or because her mom forced her into it.
Also like, look at the size of this picture! It’s the size of a movie poster!
Me @ Lara’s mom: honey you very badly need therapy; it cannot be healthy for you OR your child to have a giant poster that you ripped in half in your living room.
- I also wonder if the fact that Lara's mom's former tennis partner is the Stern Bild news anchor is something that's relevant or if it's just a background detail.
- I swear to God if Mattia turns out to be evil I'm gonna pitch a fucking fit. I’ve said it before and I’m gonna beat this drum until we get a resolution one way or the other: Barnaby needs a friend who isn't Kotetsu, and it’s good that it’s someone who knew him before his parents died, who can see him as “Barnaby from across the street” instead of the famous Barnaby Brooks Jr. (even if Mattia does have his starstruck moments). We know that Barnaby is struggling to move forward, having been manipulated and controlled for most of his life, and I feel like having one normal (or normal-ish) thing from his past is a step in the right direction. I will cry if this show takes that away from me.
- Literally the second Cat said this, I gasped “oh no.” Especially coupled with the flash to Kid’s face immediately after, where she’s clearly thinking this isn’t the case. Something is going on with Cat, even if she’s unaware.
- And we find out what it is in the very next scene: Cat's powers don’t work when she’s scared. She’s fourteen years old; she’s probably never had a gun pointed at her in her life until now, and it’s not like that cute magical girl costume is going to do much to protect her from a bullet. And at this point she’s only been a hero for what, a month? Like my gosh, she is a literal child. It’s really not too different from Karina’s reaction to having a gun pointed at her in the first series, and at that point, she’d been a hero for at least one season of Hero TV. Cat doesn’t even have that much experience at this point. It’s no wonder she’s terrified.
- I love, I love that Kotetsu activates his powers to save Cat without a second thought, leaving Barnaby to handle the criminal. Of course his priority is keeping people safe, and specifically keeping one of the younger heroes safe. He’s always acted like a dad to them, even in the first season, and I’m glad that’s continued here because my gosh, he’s probably the one with the most experience in the First League (in addition to, you know, being a literal father).
- It’s also really nice to see him doing the saving this season, instead of being the one getting saved. I do miss the princess carries (fingers crossed for getting one in the next half of this season), but there’s something to be said for what it means that Kotetsu’s in a place that he doesn’t need to be rescued. He and Barnaby have reached a point that they're steady enough they don’t need to be saving each other; they can step up and be support for their friends now.
- The first time I watched this I was all “aww” over the other heroes coming to check up on Cat in the hospital, but when I was rewatching it to screencap, I noticed that it’s specifically the girls (plus Barnaby and Kotetsu) who come by. Which is really sweet. The three of them have always hung out together and I like the subtle acknowledgement here that they’ve included Cat in that now, too.
- This shot makes me cackle so hard; the heroes are sitting there discussing giving Lara, Lara’s mom, and Kid their privacy and then suddenly Lara’s mom is yelling loud enough that they can hear her in the hallway with the door closed. So uh. Guess privacy isn’t so much of a concern, huh?
- The entire final confrontation with the arsonist is a lot more...private, I guess, than most of these climaxes have been so far. Usually it’s all out in front of the cameras, and even Origami and Bison were in a crowded bank, but here? It’s just Cat by herself, and then with Dragon Kid, dodging the arsonist’s attacks in a maze of dark alleys. It’s really tense to have the two youngest heroes alone for a good chunk of this, especially with Dragon Kid injured and Cat unable to use her powers.
- I have some feelings about the fact that Dragon Kid has known for awhile that Cat’s powers don’t work when she’s nervous or scared, and so has been trying to be supportive and protective and get her used to being out in real situations as a hero. She’s young, too, and she’s not used to looking after someone else, so she went overboard and that didn’t help Cat’s confidence, either. But my gosh, it’s understandable why Dragon Kid went about things the way she did, even if it backfired.
- Kotetsu is astoundingly quick on the uptake here, realizing that Cat can't use her power right now and goes "okay new plan" immediately. I don't think Barnaby reaches the same conclusion (he doesn't see her facial reaction to Kotetsu's question), which is why he's confused by Kotetsu's sudden shift. And I love that it’s Kotetsu's faith in Barnaby ("I believe in you") that inspires Dragon Kid to put more of her faith in Cat.
Also, I think this is the only time he calls Barnaby by his name in this season, to get his attention when they’re changing up the plan.
- I'm so glad we know from season 1 that Barnaby's and Kotetsu's suits can withstand a hell of a lot of fire because otherwise them running up to put themselves between the girls and the arsonist would've been a lot more terrifying.
- Uuuuugh this scene was so good. Dragon Kid stepping back from trying to protect Cat and just supporting her instead, letting her know wholeheartedly “I believe you can do this.” And she does and it’s amazing.
- Cat's mother remains a piece of work, holy shit. And I think Cat’s reaching the point that she’s realizing her mother really isn’t right about this, even if she can’t fully say so out loud.
- NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
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BnHA Chapter 328: Pandora’s Box of Discourse
Previously on BnHA: DEKU TOOK A BATH.
Today on BnHA:
youtube
Also Naomasa grew a beard. Goddamn.
please let this be a cool chapter that plays nice with my ADHD lol
(ETA: lol I feel guilty because a lot of people hated this chapter, but I’m just happy there was a lot of stuff to make fun of, and also that I have another week to work on my backlog of meta posts since the kids were MIA.)
around one month ago?? ah, okay, so we’re gonna find out what was in that Tartarus security file huh
I love that they just randomly set the place on fire
was it necessary to do this in order to escape? no. was it a good idea to set the island they were occupying on fire while they were in the midst of still occupying it? uh. was it cinematic as fuck? fuck yeah
wow it’s a pervert!!
that’s so great that the villains set loose this fine fellow who I’m sure is definitely not a serial rapist. truly the LoV is so noble and misunderstood. they’re just trying to free society from its chains people
oh my god??!
SHANKED!!! oh my god I cheered for Stain before I realized what I was doing. time to have an identity crisis I guess
so he’s all “hey what’s going on.” which, while a respectable question, is something I personally would have waited to ask until I had put a bit of distance between myself and the fiery murder island. but that’s just my personal preference
Stain you really are tenacious I’ll give you that
“what’s the point of escaping prison if you’re not gonna be smart about it” well shit. anyways yeah you’re dead right, society is in the process of collapsing and the outside world is in total chaos, good call there
oh shit
I mean it’s not like we really expecting anything otherwise, but still. fucking brutal. I feel like these guys’ fates were decided the minute that one guy called AFO “scum” back in chapter 94. AFO is unmatched at getting long-term revenge
??
ahh, was it the security footage??
fdsdfk he’s still alive??
and he’s immediately launching into an inappropriately theatrical monologue even as the darkness closes in on him fdlfksjdlk. you know, was it ever confirmed that the other guy back in chapter 297 was Seiji’s dad? I’m just saying
very impressed that he’s still coherent enough to weigh the pros and cons before making the decision to gamble on giving this info to Stain, who at the very least has his own moral code and isn’t allied with AFO. it was definitely still a risk, but as we now know it was also the right call
what a weird alliance. so Stain tells him that he’ll give it to a just person, and the guy is all,
okay for real though I’m gonna need someone to run a DNA test on this guy. maybe it was some kind of cuckold situation?? the other guy had the family resemblance, but this guy absolutely 100% raised Shishikura Seiji and you are not going to convince me otherwise
anyway, so Stain is all,
PRISON GUARD: “???? ??????? what the hell. what the fuck does that fucking mean. I’m dying here, jesus christ, whatever man fuck you”
(ETA: I kind of feel like this might have been Stain’s last appearance in the manga, given all the fanfare. there’s not really much else he can do for the story at this point, and he seems to have gotten all the character development Horikoshi was planning on giving him. so if this really is it, hasta la vista and good riddance I guess.)
DWLFDKSLDK MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE
(ETA: I feel like this is meant to be evocative of that Sermon on the Mount painting, but in a really fucked up way lol.)
if it were me stumbling upon this scene I would just shake my head and walk right back into the flaming building. not getting involved in that mess. sorry not sorry. I’ll take my chances with the fire, especially given that it’s half-assed neutered BnHA fire lol
blah blah blah and so he decided to pass the info on to All Might -- HOT DAMN, HOLY SHIT
NAOMASA HOLY SHIT. THE APOCALYPSE LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, BOY
“I really like that facial scruff thing Aizawa’s got going on, I think I’m gonna get in on that” yes sir. “also thinking of ditching the tie in favor of the bulletproof vest look. also thinking of getting totally fucking jacked.” good lord. except I’m pretty sure that’s just body armor, but also I don’t care. anyway I should probably stop staring and actually read the fucking speech bubbles here lol
“All Might first handed this information over to Nao, and then went to see Deku, and then came back to Nao” thanks for that tidy little summary Horikoshi. we are capable of piecing events together in sequential order, I just want you to know that. but thank you
“so has Deku finally gotten a bath? also, sucks that Stain saved the day, but what are you gonna do” Nao I missed you so fucking much and didn’t even realize. how am I just now realizing that you are the perfect man
for a second I was gonna ask why Tartarus’s security systems would be cut off from the outside world, and then I remembered that’s a basic security control, and then I actually got impressed by how sensible that is. like, it’s been a while since I could genuinely say that the good guys (excluding class 1-A) did something smart. not that it helped them much in the end, but still
anyway so they’re talking about how AFO was able to coordinate the attack by communicating between his horcrux self on the outside and his ugly peanut-faced self on the inside
huh
okay you have my attention. I am taking notes here lol please continue
ah okay so he says that prior to Jakku, the transfer of information between him and his Vestige self was only one-way. but post-Jakku when Deku was in the hospital, he was able to tell what was happening inside the OFA Radical Lisa Frank Dead People Book Club Realm when he touched him. I feel like we established that before, actually. but he didn’t talk about how it actually felt, though
boy we already know this lol. yes AFO can talk with his horcrux self. and he can also communicate with his little bro in OFA too, let’s talk about that sometime why don’t we. what exactly does that imply, based on the rules we’ve established here
my god I cannot get over Naomasa and his fucking facial hair
no wonder All Might was in such a hurry to leave Deku and get back here
like I have no idea what this radio waves nonsense is but my god, people
that jawline. also so it’s a quirk, I see. except last I checked Deku didn’t have a radio waves quirk, so that doesn’t really explain his connection to AFO. but whatever, hopefully we’re at least getting closer to some kind of reveal here
(ETA: since I sometimes forget that other people’s lives don’t revolve around my theory posts, here are the two relevant links if you by chance want to know my thoughts about this.
Hagakure is still The U.A. Traitor™ regardless of whether Deku is passing information on to AFO through his psychic link, which he almost certainly is.
speaking of said psychic link, Deku is a horcrux.
just posting these now, because whenever trippy OFA stuff happens I tend to get an influx of theory asks. so hopefully this will be a bit of a time saver lol.)
-- wait, what
THAT’S what the recording was??!? holy SHIT. I genuinely was not expecting that. y’all wiretapped his fucking telepathy. fucking quirks, man. wild
AND THEY USED THAT POWER TO DETERMINE WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW, HUZZAH. GOOD SHOW
-- oh shit wait lol, except I forgot we’re not talking about 38 days from the present, we’re talking about 38 days from the date the conversation was recorded. heh. um
yeah that’s the face I would make too if All Fucking Might just casually told me we had eight days left until the end times
oh, pardon me. three fucking days
r.i.p. anyone who thought we were going to have another band arc sob. I sure hope Deku is enjoying that nap
(ETA: I realize people were hoping for a longer rest period here, but given that the man warned us all the way back in chapter 306 that we were entering the final act, you can’t really blame him too much when that turns out to be true. anyway but I do recognize that we’ve reached the point in the story where this kind of discourse is going to become a weekly occurrence, simply because there’s no possible way for Horikoshi’s actual endgame to line up perfectly with the variable headcanons of millions of fans, all of whom have wildly differing and in many cases contradictory expectations which can’t possibly all be fulfilled. anyway, so I’m already bracing myself for that lol. this coming year is going to be a wild ride.)
damn, U.A. out here looking like the motherfucking United Nations
-- is this U.A.?? I actually just realized, U.A. is four interconnected buildings, not two. wait holy shit is this Shiketsu?
wait holy SHIT
based on the overwhelmingly powerful vibes of bureaucratic incompetence, I’m thinking this really is the (future) U.N., or whatever organization it is that deals with international hero stuff
“just let them handle it themselves I’m sure they’ll be fine” yeah okay, thanks guys. appreciate it
wait oh shit did he say that it’s not just Japan?
soooo, what you’re telling me is that AFO is this close to bringing about the end of not just Japan, but the entire world, and you guys don’t think it’s a good idea to help the Japanese heroes stop him? so, genuine follow-up question: are you guys already planning your rich people exodus into space a la Wall-E, and that’s why you don’t give a fuck?? like, what??
omg international heroes
these guys are from World Hoodie Mission, right? is this Horikoshi’s way of reminding me to buy tickets
(ETA: and it worked too lol.)
WHO??? WHAT???
don’t tell me you’re introducing yet another badass new female character for me to fall in love with only to watch as you dismember them and/or blow them up, Horikoshi. I’m getting tired of playing this game my dude. don’t lie and tell me this time will be different. we’re not doing this again goddammit
noooooooooooooooooooo
god fucking dammit lmao. [sighs and rips the previous paragraph into shreds]
on behalf of Americans I apologize for our superheroes always being Like This
I also apologize because I love her already and I’m gonna be shameless about it. so fucking shameless you guys
is her fucking hair red white and blue. it is, isn’t it
this is the volume cliffhanger, 100% lol. it will take every ounce of Horikoshi’s willpower not to put her on the volume cover. he’ll have to settle for the spine or the inner cover this time because Deku VS his class 1-a superpals takes precedence. but it will be a close thing let me tell you
tbh it’s that smile that does it for me. she’s definitely All Might’s protege. get out there and show them how it’s done girl. and maybe call Salaam and BRD and see if you can’t convince them to play hooky from their governments as well. why not. world’s ending in three days you guys. “sorry, I’m busy this weekend” ain’t gonna cut it lol
so while I am not fully caught up with Vigilantes, I have read far enough to know that there’s an American hero named Captain Celebrity whose superpower from what I recall is being a humongous douchebag. and while I haven’t read far enough to know what happens to this guy, I can’t say I’m very disappointed to learn that he’s no longer the number one hero in the U.S. (actually, didn’t they kick him out and that’s why he moved to Japan to begin with?). anyway, so my thanks to Horikoshi for having a marginally higher opinion of Americans than Furuhashi, even though we have definitely not done anything to warrant said opinion lately, and you may have inadvertently opened the door to a pandora’s box of discourse lmao
(ETA: lol I went into the tags and they don’t disappoint. “why is she dressed like a flag” because she’s an homage to Captain America and Major Victory and literally every other character on this list. again, I apologize for fictional American superheroes being Like This. “oh boy another thicc waifu to make the fanboys happy” look, tumblr fandom never seems to have a problem thirsting over Dabi or Tomura or Aizawa or Nao, lol, I’m just saying. “where is Captain Celebrity” idk, probably murdered by the exploding bee cartel, let’s just be grateful for our good fortune and try not to Beetlejuice the man.)
anyway, so let’s see if Horikoshi’s recent character development with regards to making Mineta not terrible anymore will apply to other aspects of his writing as well. I know I was making light of discourse just now, but I do think the complaints about him introducing yet another new character at the 11th hour to be cannon fodder in the final battle are absolutely valid. and again, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t keep maiming/killing off his female characters one by one instead of developing them and letting them kick ass long-term. but that said, I will never complain about Horikoshi adding another female character to the series, regardless of how clumsy the attempt may be. go ahead and pander away, just give us more girl power lol
anyway so we’ll see how it goes, but I think I’m gonna be optimistic and let myself hope once again, even though I’m probably gonna regret it lol. it is what it is. she is standing on an airplane just chilling for fuck’s sake. I’m only human. anyway fingers crossed
#bnha 328#stain (bnha)#tsukauchi naomasa#all might#stars and stripes (bnha)#all for one#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#eta: how did I forget to type 'bnha' in the title sob
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Stitching
Spencer Reid x Reader (female)
A/N- Much like Adam Driver, I have been a huge fan of Matthew Gray Gubler and criminal minds for years. With quarantine, I decided to re-watch the show from the beginning and I had some inspiration. My writing tends to take a while but if you have any requests or idea for Spencer Reid, please send them my way.
Word Count- 6286 words
Warning- Angst, mentions of violence and torture, fluff, tears, and the usual criminal minds details.
If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? -William Shakespeare.
QUANTICO, VIRGINIA
“Good morning my lover and friends. As of 8:45 am, yesterday morning, four bodies have been found across the Washington State area. Locations confirmed to be Pomeroy, Baker City, Salem, and Mill Creek. All victims were very similar in physical appearance; Caucasian, red hair, brown eyes, approximately 5ft 4’.”
Garcia swiped her tablet to display family photographs of the victims on the screen. The team watched, in the debriefing room, as they scanned through their own tablets; reading through the details. Spencer’s eyes flittered over the images as his fingers scanned across the words in his paper file; still adamant on not working with technology like the rest of his team.
“What about the cause of death? How were they found?”
Garcia shivered at Rossi’s question.
“It’s not a pretty image. Each victim was dismembered at the elbows, knees, neck, and stomach. Further cuts were made vertically down the stomach and across the face, arms, and legs. Not deep enough to cut through bone, but deep enough to bleed out. Where the unsub cut our victims, he then sewed them back together.”
Emily looked up at Garcia.
“Are you saying the lacerations were made before the victim’s died?”
“Precisely. Each autopsy report came back the same with the cause of death pointing to the direction of blood loss; specifically, from the throat.”
The team looked at the new images before them. Multiple pictures appeared on the screen, showing the bodies of the victims. The pictures showing the women laid out in the same pose, thick thread holding together the pieces of their corpses. All had their eyes closed, except one.
“Garcia, the last victim, zoom into her face.”
Garcia did as Spencer asked.
“Her eyes are closed.”
Spencer nodded, glancing towards JJ as she spoke.
“Meaning that he felt remorse for this murder.”
Derek scrolled through the pictures on his tablet.
“The other three victim’s eyes are open, indicating that he wanted them to look. To watch what he was doing, whatever it may have been.”
Spencer looked across the table at the questioning faces.
“So, what changed between the third and the fourth victim?”
Hotch stood from his seat, indicating the others to grab their belonging.
“We can discuss further on jet. Wheels up in thirty.”
WASHINGTON STATE
Being greeted by the local police department in Clagstone, Spencer and the team began their investigation into the murders. Spencer did not know what it was, but the stitching on the bodies felt familiar. Like he had seen them before.
Looking up from his files, Spencer watched as Derek walked into the room, ending a call with who he could only presume to be Garcia.
“Garcia has just completed background checks on our latest victim. Lily Trent visited local film screenings at the Southview Centre religiously, to watch horror movies in particular. Seems like the girl loved anything horror and Halloween; according to her roommate and her computer history. It seems that are other victims did also.”
Spencer stood from his seat and walked towards the whiteboard at the back of the room. Writing down the details Derek stated, his brain began to filter through the relevant information needed.
“Halloween is ranked the ninth most celebrated holiday in the world. With different interpretations of the holiday occurring according to country and culture. Wearing costumes at Halloween did not even become an occurrence until 1585, with the first instance recorded in Scotland.”
Derek chuckled at Reid’s excitement. He knew the boy loved Halloween.
“Well it all looks like they were pretty huge fans of the holiday and horror films. Maybe our unsub was too.”
Spencer looked down at the photos in his hand, scanning his memory for any correlation.
“Maybe, it’s not just horror, but a particular film. If all the victims were presented in a certain way, maybe the unsub is trying to replicate what happened to a character in a particular film.”
Derek crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’ll call Garcia to search through all the victims search history to see if any particular horror films come up in each one. Do you know of any films that the unsub could have replicated?”
Spencer shook his head.
“I can collate his actions to hundreds of films but, the method of torture and look of the victims, I can’t think of one horror feature that pinpoints all that the unsub has done.”
A thought unexpectedly popped into Spencer’s mind. Derek cocked his head at the sudden halt from the resident genius.
“But I know someone who might.”
UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
“The importance of genre in film alters many of the other aspects. The characters and their narrative arcs, the music score, cinematography, the edit, and so much more. Sometimes genre even dictates the director who signs onto the project. Dennis Dugan would not have a directing career if Adam Sandler stopped making comedy movies. Because that is what he directs. He doesn’t direct comedies; he directs Adam Sandler comedies. Which, in my opinion, are a whole genre on their own.”
The class chuckled.
“Genre plays a part in everyday life. Sometimes, your day will be led by romance, or grief, or action. There may be drama, or comedy, or even silence.”
The class looked on in concentration as Y/N walked across the floor. If someone who did not attend the college walked past the classroom, they could’ve presumed that she was a student. She looked young enough.
“It controls the way the characters talk, act, and move. How the plot thickens and pushes forward and…”
The doors at the back of the auditorium opened. Y/N looked up at the sound of the intrusion to see figures that she could not recognise, and one that she did.
Clearing her throat, she continued.
“And how it even ends. We shall leave it at that today. What I want you to do in the meantime is research a genre in particular and come up with examples that counteract the stereotypes that have been enforced upon the genre itself. Hand it in to your professor first thing Monday morning. Thank you.”
Y/N watched as the students collected their things and filtered out of the room. The figures waiting till she was only left before they walked down the steps.
Coming to a stop in front of her desk, Y/N crossed her arms and waited. Spencer stepped forward with a crooked smile on his face.
“Hi Y/N.”
Y/N couldn’t help but giggle.
“Long time no see stranger.”
Spencer’s cheeks burned at Y/N’s words. The team shared looks between them at the unfamiliar display. They had seen Spencer blush at people before, but not for a long time.
Spencer cleared his throat, preparing himself to act professional.
“This is Dr Y/F/N Y/L/N. Y/N travels across the country to guest speak at different universities on her topic at hand. She specialises in film studies, more importantly the focus of characters and genres. If I can’t connect the unsub’s actions to a film, Y/N most definitely can.”
Y/N smiled at Spencer’s praise.
“Nice to meet you all. So, what are you here to talk to me about Doc? Obviously, you’re here on a case and if you are asking for my help, I’m guessing it’s going to be pretty gruesome.”
Spencer blushed at the nickname; caught off guard by the word slipping of her tongue.
Sending a raised look towards Reid, Hotch began to explain why they were there.
“Were looking into a case of connected murders. All victims were found to have been mutilated and tortured in the same way. As well as showing resemblances in their physical appearances. With research, we’ve found that each victim was particularly fond of horror films and Halloween. We would just like for you to take a look and see if you could recognise if the ways in which they were harmed stemmed from a film in particular.”
Y/N nodded her head.
“Of course, anything to help.”
She reached for the files from Spencer’s hands, ignoring the tablet pushed in her direction by JJ.
“Sorry, I prefer to use paper. I only really use technology for my lectures or to watch films if they cannot be purchased in physical form.”
Derek smirked, shooting looks to his team, as his eyes landed on Spencer. He never thought he would meet a technophobe like Reid.
Y/N scanned through the pictures and documents, looking in detail at the lacerations at hand. She identified the similarities between the victims, as her mind swirled through the images and characters from the films, she knew held similarities.
“What were the names of all the victims?”
Emily looked towards the woman.
“That information is classified.”
Y/N did not blink at her abrasiveness.
“Were any of them called Sally?”
The team looked perplexed at her question.
“No. Why that name in particular?”
Y/N continued to scan the pages as Rossi questioned her.
“Because the unsub isn’t replicating anything from a horror movie. The unsub is replicating the physical appearance and staging of a character from an animated movie. A Disney one to be more specific.”
A light bulb flickered in Spencer’s mind as he stared at Y/N in realisation. The hair colours. The stitches. It made sense now.
“The Nightmare Before Christmas.”
LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT
“The Nightmare Before Christmas is a 1993 American stop-motion animated musical Halloween-Christmas fantasy film directed by Henry Selick and produced and conceived by Tim Burton. It became a cult classic during the early 2000s with orchestral concerts occurring every year to celebrate the spectacle of the film.”
Spencer indicated for JJ to change the monitor as he and Y/N stood in front of the team to explain the information.
“Originally, the story began as a poem written by Tim Burton. Both narratives follow the protagonist, Jack Skellington, into his journey to Christmastown, and how he tries to make Christmas his own. The character in question that your unsub is replicating is the love interest of our protagonist. Created by Dr Finkelstein, Sally is a ragdoll-esque character whose body is covered with stitches to keep her together. The form in which all the women were found is identical to this scene in the movie.”
The screen changes to show the scene in question; paused at the precise moment to prover her point.
“All red haired, all Caucasian, all eerily the same. The stitches are exactly the same and the pose in which they are in the pictures are also.”
“We now know which film our unsub is mimicking, but how can we produce a distinguished profile of our unsub? All we can say is that between his third and fourth victim, he suddenly began to feel remorseful of his crimes.”
Y/N looked towards Spencer, waiting for him to speak as he knew more details about the case.
“Garcia checked into the victim’s computer histories and found that all four victims attended a horror convention in the Washington state area over the course of the past month. The convention in particular runs every other weekend, focusing on different horror films to highlight. However, they always make an exception for one film; The Nightmare Before Christmas. Whilst reviewing receipts for the tickets, they were all brought through the convention’s website, which is run by its board of organisation every year. Up until recently, the board has held the same members.”
Derek tapped on his tablet to the convention’s website.
“Last month, the website released details stating that a distinguish member was no longer part of the board due to unforeseen circumstances.”
It suddenly dawned on Y/N who Derek was talking about.
“Dean Faulkner.”
Spencer whipped around towards Y/N.
All eyes laid on her as her breath increased.
“You know him?”
Y/N nodded at Hotch.
“I guest spoke at a panel with him a few years back at a separate university. We were both there, amongst others, to talk about the works of a genre that are expertise were in. I was there to basically provide loose ends for what they could not answer. Dean’s specialised area was horror. The whole time he spoke about what he described as the true villains of horror and of the world.”
Y/N gulped, her mouth going dry.
“Women.”
The wheels began to turn in the team’s heads.
Spencer stepped closer towards Y/N in assurance, seeing that her thoughts were becoming overwhelmed. He quickly stepped back after he realised what he had done.
“He went on a raging tangent about the damsel in distress and the final girl. Going on and on and on about how women are weak and would never be the last one standing if faced against the monsters in real life. How they manipulated the men and made the monsters seem worse than they truly were. The only time he spoke positively about women was when we finally calmed him down and, during a Q&A session, a student asked him who the perfect horror movie character was. He said Sally because she was forgiving and would do anything for Jack; even if that meant falling apart and being sewn back together. I tried to justify that the film does not necessarily fall into the genre of horror. But he rebutted saying that it most definitely did, because of the fact that Jack’s dream did not come true.”
The room was silent for a second, taking in the information.
Suddenly, Y/N grasped the pen from Spencer’s hands. Her finger scribbling across the whiteboard.
“I need to know the names of the victims. Get Penelope on the phone and tell me the names.”
The team shocked at her erratic movements, sat in silence.
“Do you want to capture this guy?”
Spencer licked his lips and repeated the victim’s names.
“Susanna Cole, Alice Dawes, Liberty May, and Lily Trent.”
Y/N swiftly wrote the names on the boards. Each name below the other. Underneath the last name she wrote the letter Y.
“Can you ask Penelope to track any females with the first name beginning with Y who have purchased a ticket to the next convention?”
Derek quickly began to type to her. The rest of the team looking on in disbelief.
“There were twenty-three purchases, but with cross referencing with the similarities in the other victims, one matched. Her name is Yasmine Driver.”
Y/N wrote the name on the board. Circling all the first letters of each name, it became clear there was another connection with the victims.
“Their initials spell Sally.”
Y/N nodded at JJ’s disbelief.
“Reid, when is the next convention being held?”
Spencer diverted his attention to Emily.
“Their schedule every two weeks, so that would make it… tomorrow.”
The team swiftly moved into action.
“JJ bring together the police force for a debrief. Derek and Rossi, go to the convention centre and question the board about Dean. Ask them how often he visited and if they have any knowledge of the victims visits to the convention. Spencer and Emily, contact Penelope for Faulkner’s address. Once you have visited the home, if he is there, bring him in. We’re going to try and catch him before he gets close to his goal. I will locate Yasmine and bring her to the station for safety. We don’t know how far he is going to go and what the end goal of his fantasy is. But we are going to stop him.”
The team swiftly did as they were told, leaving the room with only Spencer and Y/N behind. Just before the door shot, Hotch leaned back in.
“Thank you, Dr Y/L/N, for all your help. If possible, could you stay here with JJ and look through the documents? You know this guy more than we do, so any more information that comes to mind, please let us know.”
Y/N and Spencer watched as Hotch left the room, the door shutting behind him.
As the silence engulfed them, Y/N and Spencer were hyper aware that they were now alone and had been for the first time in weeks.
Spencer swiftly walked towards Y/N and embraced her in a tight hold. Wrapping her arms around the slender man, Y/N breathed in his scent.
“I’ve missed you.”
Y/N chuckled at Spencer’s muffled words, as his head rested on top of her own. Pulling back, Y/N slowly released Spencer, letting her hands drop to her sides.
“I’ve missed you too Doc. We can catch up later, I will be waiting right here. Now, go and save the girl.”
Spencer chuckled at her words but did as Y/N said. Throwing her a smile, Spencer quickly walked out the room, leaving Y/N behind.
Y/N sat in the room, looking over the files as the time passed, waiting to see Spencer return with the rest of the team. A knock on the door startled her from her search.
Looking up at the door, Y/N saw JJ walk into the room with two cups of coffee in her hands. JJ outstretched the one hand, placing the cup in front of Y/N, as she took a seat and began to sip at her own.
“I didn’t know how many sugars you took so I estimated.”
Y/N smiled at the woman’s kindness.
“Thank you. Have you heard anything from the others?”
JJ sat up in her seat as she watched Y/N look over the documents. Her fingers moving across the pages ever so quickly. Her hand that wasn’t tapped continuously on the table in a rhythm.
“Spencer and Emily located Faulkner’s home, but it was vacant. They’re looking around the premises for clues for where he may be; as we speak. Hotch and Derek just called saying they are on their way down with Yasmine now.”
Y/N nodded at her words. Glad to hear that the girl was safe, but the main priority now would be to locate Faulkner. She wanted to truly help them, before anyone else could get hurt.
JJ grabbed her tablet and began to search through the files for any missed out information. Silence befell across the pair, until JJ could not help but ask what they had all been dying to know.
“How did you and Spencer meet?”
Y/N had been waiting for the question. She had seen the looks the team had shared throughout the day. The questioning gazes towards the pair.
“Spencer and I were both guests speaking at the University of California a few months ago. He must have finished his lecture early as he was wondering the halls when he came across the class I was teaching. I was stood on the desk, encouraging the students to do the same. Spencer thought I was a student causing trouble whilst the professor had left the room. He ran in sprouting facts about the percentage of people who fall and severely hurt themselves whilst standing on tables. Telling me that I should get down before he reports me to my professor.”
JJ chuckled at Y/N’s story.
“Sounds like Spence alright.”
Y/N giggled in agreement. As she spoke, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the memory of their first encounter. JJ noticed the smile on the woman’s face. She knew what that smile meant.
“So, I told him that he better stay there to catch me, just in case I fell, as I was trying to teach my students about the importance of character actions, and how doing something as simple as standing on a desk can amplify the tone of the scene. Like in the film Dead Poet’s Society. Spencer finally realised that I was also a guest speaker and he actually stood there for the next 40 minutes of my lecture. I didn’t need to stand on the desk that long, but I wanted to see if he would stay. Once the lecture had finished, he apologised for jumping to conclusions. I apologised for making him wait for 40 minutes in case I fell. He told me I didn’t make him wait; he chose to. We’ve been in contact ever since.”
Just as Y/N finished her story, the door to the conference room opened once more. Looking towards the door, Y/N watched as Hotch entered, followed by Yasmine. The young woman looked scared, but unharmed.
Y/N stood from her seat, unsure of what to do as Hotch insisted for Yasmine to take a seat.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Hotch nodded his head.
“We shouldn’t be long. The rest of the team are outside in the bullpen. You can go ahead and join them. JJ and I will take it from here.”
Y/N nodded her head, leaving the room. She watched as Hotch and JJ questioned spoke to Yasmine through the glass, before she turned and walked down the corridor to find Spencer and his friends.
Turning the corner, Y/N failed to stop herself before bumping into a tall figure. Looking up to apologise, her eyes suddenly widened at the familiar face. Before a sound could leave her lips, a blunt force knocked her out cold.
Spencer and the team discussed where Faulkner could be when Hotch strode into the bull pen.
“How did it go?”
Hotch walked towards his team, ready to answer Derek’s question.
“It seems that Faulkner had been stalking the victims for some time. Yasmine detailed seeing him turn up at the conventions, even though he was no longer allowed. She had previously complained about his behaviour to the board before his dismissal. Stating that Faulkner had sexually harassed her. Rossi, did anyone at the convention mention anything about Faulkner that we don’t know?”
“It seems that Yasmine wasn’t the only one. The other board members went into detail about why he was fired. It turned out that all of our victims, including Yasmine, had filed lawsuits against Faulkner for sexual harassment. The charges were ultimately dropped and never recorded to keep the convention’s reputation clear. But they fired Faulkner and banned him from being able to attend any further conventions. Taking away the Nightmare Before Christmas dedicated stand was just a coincidence. They felt that the convention needed something new as they had been celebrating the film for over eight years.”
Just as Hotch was about to declare what the next step would be in finding Faulkner, JJ burst through the ball pen.
“Guys, you have to come quick.”
The team, in shock, watched as JJ ran back towards the conference room. All quickly on her heels. Entering the room, she took control of the laptop, streaming the image to the projector.
Spencer could no longer breathe as he looked at the image on the screen.
“Y/N.”
The screen showed Y/N tied to a chair and bent forward; clearly in pain. Her surroundings empty and dark.
Suddenly a voice was heard.
“I sense there's something in the wind. That seems like tragedy's at hand isn’t there Dr Y/F/N Y/L/N.”
The team watched in horror as Dean Faulkner yanked Y/N’s head back, her body letting out a strangled cry at the pain caused by his actions.
Spencer felt sick, he felt like he was watching himself when Tobias Hankel had held him captive.
“Emily, call Garcia to track his location. We don’t have much time.”
Emily did as Hotch told her to. Talking as quickly as she could on the phone.
“She can’t track it; he’s re-routing the IP address every thirty seconds.”
“She needs to track it. She needs to find her now!”
They all jumped at Spencer’s outburst, watching as tears filled his vision and his hands began to shake.
“Spencer, you need to calm down, we are going to find her. He can’t have taken her far.”
Spencer took in Derek’s words. Taking a breath, he looked back at the screen as he tried to distinguish any recognisable features of where she may be.
Faulkner moved his face to rest against Y/N’s hair, smelling the tresses. She tried to pull away only for him to yank her back again.
“Why did you kill them Dean?”
Faulkner let go of Y/N’s hair. Walking to her side, he grabbed her face in a vicious grip. Yanking her to look at him.
“Why? They ruined my life, everything I ever worked hard for. You all did.”
Y/N looked at him in confusion.
“I did nothing to you.”
Y/N’s breath increased at the vicious look he sent her way. Her eyes flickered to the camera, knowing that Faulkner was streaming what was happening to Spencer and his team. She had to find a way to tell them where she was.
“You made them question my authority. My position. My integrity as a member of the board. You ruined my reputation by belittling me in California.”.
“That’s because you know nothing about horror Dean. You think you know everything about it, but you don’t.”
Spencer couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Why was Y/N taunting him?
“Garcia’s looking to see if there’s any abandoned properties around the area that he could have taken her to.”
Spencer didn’t even acknowledge Emily’s words.
Faulkner reeled back at Y/N’s taunt.
“I know everything there is to know about horror. I’ve seen it all. I’ve lived it. I’ve created it. Ask me anything about it, I know the right answers.”
“But you don’t. You have an idea of horror, your own idea, that is wrong. You believe that women are the reason you lost your job and became the monster that you are. But they’re not. The reason you’re a monster is because of your sick and twisted fantasies. You made those girls feel small and weak, didn’t you?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
The team watched in apprehension.
“Garcia, the location, we need it now.”
Rossi looked between the screen and the phone in Derek’s hand.
“I can get the area he’s holding her, but not the specific building. The whole town is basically abandoned. She could be anywhere from a shop to a house.”
“Keep looking.”
Spencer chewed on his lips. He had to think rationally. If the unsub was upset about the changes and losing his job, what could have been the last straw?
“Derek what was the film they replaced Nightmare Before Christmas with at the convention.”
Derek and Spencer shared a look.
“Cabin in the Woods.”
Spencer ran across the rooms to the files at hand.
“In the location that Garcia has tracked her too, there are three cabins, all within a walking distance of the other.”
The team began to rush out the room, transferring the livestream to a tablet so they could monitor Faulkner and Y/N.
“You’re weak Dean. You’re just like all the horror movie villains. Ghostface, pinhead, jigsaw, all of them. You feed of fear and feeling in control. But the only thing you have in common with them is that you’re not going to win.”
Faulkner scream in rage. Pulling Y/N’s head back, he punched her in the jaw. Striding to the camera, he pushed his face to the lens.
“The party’s over!”
Spencer watched in horror as the feed went off.
“Hotch we have to hurry!”
Hotch sped up the car. Quickly arriving to the location, the team split up into pairs, taking a cabin each to inspect. Hotch and Derek, Rossi and JJ, and Spencer and Emily veered off to their targeted locations. Spencer followed Emily, trying to stay calm, as he slowly walked into the cabin to find it empty, when suddenly a gun shot was heard. Looking in the direction, the pair ran to the cabin that Derek and Hotch had been assigned. The rest of the team already there, looking into the cabin in shock.
“No, no, no, no. Y/N.”
Spencer pushed in front of them, tears pooling in his eyes as he a waited to see the horror before him. He looked in disbelief as Y/N stood from her position on the floor, the gun dropping from her hand as they shook. Faulkner laid a few feet away, in a pool of blood, no longer breathing.
Y/N looked towards the team. Raising her shaking hands towards Spencer.
“I didn’t want to kill him but he was going to shoot whoever walked through the door.”
Spencer rushed forward, grabbing her in a bone crushing hug. His hands stroking her hair as he soother her cries. Leading her out of the cabin, he allowed his team to sort out the rest as he continued to calm Y/N down.
The movement of the team were a blur as ambulances and police cars came. Taking them to the hospital as they sat in the waiting room as Y/N was checked over.
Spencer sat in the waiting room, his leg bouncing up and down with nerves.
Derek excused himself from the groups conversation as he went and sat next to Spencer. Clapping him on the back, Derek squeezed Spencer’s shoulder in re-assurance.
“She’s going to be fine pretty boy.”
“Physically, she has a concussion, bruising along her jawline, and needs stitches on her forehead. Mentally, I don’t know how she is going to handle this. When I suggested asking for her help in the case, I didn’t presume the risk of her being hurt. I should have.”
“Spencer, listen to me. We would have done everything to make sure she lived okay. She not only saved herself but she also helped save Yasmine and this team. Any one of us could have been shot if she had not thought fast and got the gun out of his hands. You know, better than anyone, how to help her deal with this.”
Spencer took in Derek’s words, nodding his head in appreciation, as he leaned against his friend in a comforting hug.
“Probably wasn’t the ideal way to introduce your girlfriend to the team though.”
Spencer stuttered at Derek’s teasing.
“We’re profilers Spencer. We’ve all noticed how you’ve been happier these past few months and seeing how persistent you were for us to consult Y/N, it gave us all an idea why. Seeing you together only confirmed our suspicions. So, how long has pretty boy had his pretty girl?”
Spencer chuckled at Derek’s words. Ringing his hands together as he spoke to Derek.
“Tomorrow is actually our six-month anniversary. She was going to be flying back today so we could celebrate; unless I got called on a case.”
“We can still celebrate.”
Spencer looked up as Y/N walked through the waiting room, fresh stitches on her forehead and an ice pack resting in her hands.
“The nurse said that there was no internal damage. That my body will just be sore for a few weeks. My concussion is light, so I am alright to travel home.”
The team gathered around to check on her. But her eyes could not leave Spencer’s as he rose from his seat. Spencer walked forward slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. Carefully he cupped her face in his hands, and to the surprise of Y/N and his team, Spencer bowed his head and placed a careful kiss on Y/N’s lips. Slow, protective, and full of love.
Pulling back, Spencer wrapped his arms around her as he looked at the beaming smiles of his teammates. Y/N couldn’t help the blush across her cheeks or the giggle that followed. Soon, everyone was chuckling at the pair.
“I would like to thank you Y/N. From the entire team. Your actions saved a young woman’s life, and what could have been one of our own.”
Y/N smiled in appreciation at Rossi’s words.
“You’re Spencer’s family. I would do it all again if I had to.”
“Statistically speaking, around 2,000 people a day are reported missing in the US. Approximately, 600 of those would be reported or considered kidnappings. It is highly unlikely for you to be put in a situation like that again.”
Y/N looked up at her boyfriend.
“I never thought I would say this, but your talk about me being kidnapped again is really attractive.”
The team laughed at the girl’s statement, seeing Spencer become physically embarrassed.
“Just to inform everyone, the jet will be ready to depart in forty-five minutes. As I was informed that today you would have been heading home, Y/N we have sent for your belongings to be collected; you can fly back with us.”
Spencer smiled at Hotch in gratitude, the older man knowing he would have only worried if she had flown home alone.
“Thank you, Mr Hotchner.”
Hotch let out a brief smile.
“Call me Hotch. Your part of Spencer’s life, that means your part of this family.”
BAU JET
It had been an exhausting few days for the team, and it showed, as they all were sporadically asleep throughout the jet. Silence encompassed the steel capsule, with only the sound of sleep filled breaths being heard.
Y/N laid fast asleep, with her head on Spencer’s shoulder, as the boy genius sat up wide awake. Looking down at the woman next to him, all Spencer could imagine was what could have happened if they weren’t quick enough. How many days he would have lost with her. All the things he wanted to tell her.
As though she could sense his deep thoughts, Y/N slowly awoke, rubbing her eyes as a yawn escaped her mouth. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she waited till she was fully conscious before she spoke.
“What time is it Doc?”
Spencer jostled out of his thoughts to check the watch on his wrist.
“It’s 2:36 am. You’ve been asleep for approximately 3 hours and 22 minutes.”
Y/N quickly sat up in her seat, wide awake.
Spencer turned towards her in worry, wondering what had made her so alert.
“What wrong? Are you feeling nauseous? Do you need some painkillers, as your due to have…”
Y/N grabbed Spencer’s face and placed her lips flush against his own. Their mouths moved in unison, as Spencer’s own hands moved to circle around her waist, bringing their bodies as close as they could be in the small space they had. They hadn’t kissed since the hospital, and before then it had been weeks. Spencer never realised until then, how much he truly missed her touch, her taste, her as a whole.
Coming to a point where they both lacked breathe, the pair pulled apart. Their eyes fluttering open as Y/N’s hands caressed Spencer’s face. Her one hand travelled to his hair, feeling the tresses that had grown since she had last seen him. She looked at him in a way no one had before. Spencer shared the same expression.
“Happy six-month anniversary Spencer. I love you.”
Spencer looked at Y/N in disbelief.
“Before you start spouting of facts about transference and how I am probably only saying this because you saved my life, you’re wrong. Because then I would be telling Hotch and Morgan the same thing.”
Spencer couldn’t help the watery smile that graced his face. For the second time in the past day, his eyes filled with tears. But this time, they were good.
“I’ve known I have loved you for a long time. For five months actually. I knew I loved you when we made pizza in your apartment and we ended up burning it, so we ordered one instead.”
Spencer laughed at the memory. It was the first time Spencer had initiated their make out. He had watched her cooking, in his apartment, and he had never found her more attractive than he did seeing her in his home.
“I knew that whilst you were spouting of facts about the invention of the pizza that I loved you and that I could listen to you forever. I love you Spencer.”
Spencer pulled Y/N closer to him as he rested his forehead against her own. The pair basked in each other’s presence.
“Past surveys show that men wait just 88 days to say those three little words to their partner for the first time, and 39 percent say them within the first month. Women, on the other hand, take an average 134 days. You knew after 31 days that you loved me. I knew after our first date that the way I felt when I was with you is a feeling that I could not even describe with my vast vocabulary. I knew after 8 days that the way I felt was stronger than liking you and that was a frightening thought. But its scarier to think what could have happened to you yesterday. That I could have lost you without you ever knowing. I made that mistake before. I will never make it again. I love you too.”
Y/N couldn’t help the smile and giggle that overtook her. Spencer, feeling high of the serotonin that was coursing through his body, couldn’t help his laugh either. Soon the pair were a giggling mess, unaware of the team who had all begun to awaken whilst the pair were talking.
The team congregated to the back of the jet, allowing the couple to stay in their own bubble.
“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen him truly happy.”
The group nodded at Emily’s words.
JJ smiled as she watched her best friend rattle of the possible movies that he and his girlfriend could spend their anniversary watching as she recovered. Her smile growing even wider at Y/N’s enthusiasm to watch the film’s in their original language. None of them could miss the look of adoration beaming between the pair.
“Yeah, it really has.”
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu
A/N- It isn’t the best but I really enjoyed writing this one.
#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds imagine#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler x reader#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid imagines
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ahdflksjaklf;jsls ok buddies - I hate talking about 14x13: Lebanon, but it has relevancy in the “John Winchester is a villain and cannot and should not be redeemed” discourse as well as being a crucial piece of finale denialist lore so I Have Been Thinking About It Too Much.
As you may recall, the Occult Object of the Week - the pearl - in Lebanon is supposed to grant Dean’s “heart’s desire.” Dean and Sam are Very Sure this means expelling Michael (the Dean Winchester Must Be Saved installment of season 14) (honestly that premise always seemed a little slim to me, I was hoping for Dean’s heart’s desire to be Cas, on Dean’s car, naked, covered in bees).
Instead they summon Dad of the Year, which at first feels infuriating. However after discussion with my earworms, I Have Fixed It (and also turned it into a grenade to launch at 15x20.)
Finale denialists and John Winchester derogatorians ASSEMBLE! and let’s discuss after the cut.
I’ve written in depth about Dean’s struggles with the cycle of abuse, so I won’t go too far into it here, but if you want to revisit any of that meta this is a good place to begin. This post hinges on the same theory - that Dean’s true freedom is established in his release from that cycle - that is the logical outcome of any hero’s journey for him, and where he would finally be able to accept happiness and love. This logically would also make release from the cycle of abuse and the feelings of self-hatred Dean struggles with his “heart’s desire” for purposes of the pearl. When it comes to emotions, we also know Dean doesn’t deal with them well. He punches things instead. So odds are, Dean hasn’t really worked through these feelings.
Dean also mentions when John returns that “it was what [Dean] wanted since he was 4″ - when they lost Mary, right before John became obsessed with revenge. Season 12 Mary canonically remembers John as a “good dad,” so we can draw a line from that to the abuse really starting shortly after her death. This is also corroborated by Dean himself:
DEAN: You know when you died, it changed Dad.
(A visual of the John Mary remembers) (just my excuse to put pictures of Matt Cohen on your dash) (I shouldn’t need an excuse) (Matt Cohen hi you are on Tumblr please don’t read any of this I’m embarrassed).
So what Dean has is pre-Mary’s-death John and post-Mary’s-death John, post-Mary’s-death John being the one whose abuse created Dean’s own damaged persona. Dean thinks the fix is to stop things on the front end (he is ignoring any process-centered solution, he just wants it to never have happened, he is in denial that he has to work through this and just wants it to be erased, etc etc etc).
***also keep in mind that going back in time to change things on the front end as a “fix it” is a storyline SPN repeats regularly***
***and it always ends up being impossible to do***
Ok so for Dean, his damage/anger/brutal nature/darkness is always linked to John, and this cycle “began” for Dean once their family was torn apart by Mary’s death. So the fix is his “blood family” together. That’s his heart’s desire in Lebanon because Dean hasn’t really worked through any of his emotions, and it’s his very Dean way of fixing it - “oh if my family gets put back together I will be put back together too.”
***speaking of quick fixes, I’d like to note that any case in SPN that is referred to as a “milk run” inevitably becomes complicated and messy***
***continuing the thematics of there’s no such thing as a quick fix***
This is no different. Stopping the cycle by simply erasing it from the narrative erases anything else that happened along the way during the journey. It erases this Mary (who they know as a person by this point and not just the mom on a pedestal)
and (most importantly) it erases this Cas (the episode specifically replaces Cas with one who Doesn’t Know Dean).
We Emphasize This Of Course In The Dialogue In Case You Missed It
DEAN Cas, you know us. ALTERNATE CAS I don’t know you.
***Simply erasing the origin of Dean’s trauma erases all of Dean’s growth. It erases this family that Dean is so proud to tell John he has now. It erases everything he has already overcome despite how hard it was to achieve it.
So, John goes back. In that way, the pearl does give Dean his heart’s desire - his realization that this is not about a quick fix, it is about the journey to the good, and all you gain and become along the way (kind of similar to “Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it" eh?). it’s the process. It’s every moment along the way. It’s the people who help him get there.
And then he starts the healing journey by taking control of his own life, by owning his feelings instead of displacing the blame, by recognizing he is NOT guided solely by the actions of his father and this cycle:
DEAN
And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.
And the episode fucking ends with Cas, the Cas Who Knows Them coming into the bunker and asking them what happened, calling each of them by name just to emphasize again That He Knows Them, because Cas knowing Dean, and Cas being Dean’s family is the cornerstone of what Dean’s heart desires.
[CAS walks in from the door at the top of the stairs. SAM, DEAN and MARY walk out from the library to see him.]
CAS Mary, Sam, Dean. What happened?
So yeah, it took 14 damn seasons but Lebanon is where Dean realizes he can be defined by more than the acts of his father. (That’s why it’s so terrifying for Dean when Chuck snatches back any control he gained in Season 15. Because for Dean, Chuck is just John Winchester Controls My Every Action all over again, except he’s God which makes it even worse.)
That’s also why the final blow to Chuck is not Dean killing him.
The last stage in the journey that begins here with Dean’s “I’m good with who I am” - [I’m still bad and dark and damaged but I’m good with it]
is Dean’s “that’s not who I am.” [the most caring man on Earth; the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know]
Thats equally why 15x18 is so brilliant, 15x19 is at least acceptable, and 15x20 simply does. not. work.
Dean Winchester’s perfect heaven cannot possibly center on the blood family. It does not have John Winchester and Mary, husband and wife, who took away his own free will. It is THIS FAMILY. The found family. Cas and Jack and Sam and the Mary that was resurrected. Dean’s entire character arc supports this journey, and to have it culminate in something that is so established in the season prior to this one as something Dean knows he no longer wants is maddening.
I’m even more mad now because I just remembered that the most prominent picture above Dying Sam’s bed was the blood family portrait from this episode; almost like they wanted us to remember this particular stupid lesson. This show is so stupid when it could have been so so so very good.
***I want to say thanks again to all of you who read my spiraling if you got this far. It’s therapeutic for me to do it, but it makes it all the better that people actually read it. Seeing you in my notes MAKES my entire day****
#seriously im feral again#spn#spn meta#Lebanon#John Winchester is a trash heap#spn 14x13#destiel#found family#spn fandom#spn family#Dean Winchester analysis#somebody help me im spiraling back into finale denialist rage#deancas#found family forever#supernatural is a show#but it is also a way of life#just my daily therapy of psychoanalyzing Dean Winchester#somebody come get me I have officially entirely gone mad#15x20 sucks and this is why#destiel hivemind Meet the Parents#myspnmeta
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Let's Analyze - Alec in CoFA
So, I’ve been seeing plenty of discourse on two of my mutual’s blogs about this topic… so I thought I’d sit down and write another analysis post about my beloved Alec Lightwood cause people are still giving him shit for a book that came out ten years ago 🤦♀️
This is gonna be in two parts, and I'm putting both under the cut:
PART 1 - ALEC’S INSECURITIES
So, the first part - how Alec’s insecurities drove him to saying stupid things in CoFA
A quick disclaimer - I’m NOT blaming Alec alone for his and Magnus’s break up. What happened was pretty complicated, and the blame cannot be put on one person alone.
That said, let’s start with Magnus and Alec’s early ‘official’ relationship, in trsom.
These scenes are taken from only the first part of the book, but I’m pretty sure they’re more than enough to get a sense of Alec’s insecurities and all the chinks in their relationship. Throughout the entirety of trsom, we see more bits and pieces of Alec’s insecurities about Magnus’s sexuality, and his past and all the people he might have known - and that’s okay! Insecurities happen, cause brains are stupid like that.
But all of Alec’s insecurities could’ve been laid to rest with a simple conversation. But the conversation never happens. Magnus tends to deflect and change the topic every single time his past is brought up. I understand Magnus’s reasons for hiding his past, of course, but it doesn’t help his relationship with Alec. Magnus hiding a good chunk of his past will inevitably lead to Alec questioning himself - why is he so secretive? Why is he not telling me anything? Does he not trust me? ...and so on.
And when Alec is already feeling insecure in this relationship, this happens - (sorry about the terrible cropping btw)
And then later, while Magnus is talking to Camille,
Now… when people are insecure about something, they get irked at the smallest of things. I’m saying this as an insecure person myself. So now, you've got Alec, who's insecure as fuck, and his vacation with the person he loves got cut short by his ex who refuses to talk to anyone but him, and when they get there, his lover and his lover's ex seem to have obvious chemistry, he gets hit with the reality that his lover has dated several, probably even hundreds of people before him; and he has to leave them alone in a room so they can talk, and then he hears the ex basically just list all his shortcomings - i.e, his mortality, his appearance is compared to some random dead guy (sorry, Will) whom your lover had a crush on, which is just weird, and when you've had enough and open the door, it's to see your lover and his ex, standing close as fuck, and he's! touching! her! face! and! looking! into! her! eyes!
*takes a sip of water* yeahhhh... Alec was straight up having a bad day.
And at this point, a) Alec is still in his first relationship. He didn't get to navigate romance when he was younger, and while there's nothing wrong with that, there weren't exactly cutesy presentations titled 'how to keep your relationships healthy' floating around the internet. Heck, he didn’t know the internet. He didn't know that he had to communicate with Magnus, and it doesn't help that boy avoids conversations about feelings like the plague. And b) at this point, Alec would be facing several negative emotions - insecurity, obviously. Hurt. Helplessness, because of his mortality. Fear, that he might not live up to Magnus’s past lovers. Jealousy at seeing Magnus and Camille so close.
Negative emotions like these often tend to show up as anger or sorrow... and in Alec’s case, that would be anger. Which leads us to THIS- (🙈)
*sighs in second-hand embarrassment*
*drinks more water*
*this is gonna be so hard aksjakak*
So. Alec dealt with his insecurities... by being a mean, mean bitch to Magnus :/
Let's break this scene down, slowly, bit by bit.
First, Alec cuts into a conversation between Magnus and Jordan, when Magnus mentions Woolsey Scott, followed the rest of that particular page. To Alec, he's just a figure from Magnus’s past, and a possible lover, though in Alec’s defense Woolsey Scott WAS Magnus’s lover. This is the first instance that we see in which Alec lashes out at Magnus. It seems like he's trying to make a point to Magnus - "I don't know anything about your past, and so I don't know who you've had romances with, but I want to know." Except he makes his point in the worst way possible and ends up slutshaming Magnus.
The "What's true?" line, in response to Jordan saying "so it's true what they say about warlocks, then?" is pretty obvious. Alec is clearly not liking the idea that this random werewolf might know about warlocks, and in particular, his Warlock boyfriend.
Next... ooh boy... Alec basically snaps and in the next few paragraphs accuses Magnus of wanting to flirt with others which... is not a good look on ya honey 😕. These lines are the ones that get him accused of being biphobic... but is he really? I'm gonna talk about that in part 2.
So, in the first paragraph, where Alec makes the comments about Jordan, I find his choice of words pretty... interesting, seeing as 'messy-haired', 'broad-shouldered' and 'chiseled-good-looks' are all used to describe Alec in the series. Not sure if its relevant, but definitely interesting.
And in the next one, where Alec says, "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" The 'apparently' makes me curious. In rsom, Alec mentions that he's only recently heard of the term bisexual, and there's plenty of time between rsom and cofa, so Alec should be absolutely sure of atleast the basic meaning of bisexuality. But I'm pretty sure it's just inconsistency on cc's part, since if rsom didn't exist, this book would be the first time Alec learns about Magnus’s bisexuality. (Which is obvious when you look at the scene after Magnus reveals that Camille is his girlfriend.) And as for the second sentence, I feel like it's a fallback to earlier in the book when Magnus says (I'm just gonna write the dialogue from memory), "I've dated men, women, warlocks, faeries, vampires, werewolves and even a djinn or two." Here, Alec is angry, and he takes the knowledge that Magnus has dated a variety of people and once again, lashes out.
Looking at all of it together, Alec’s insecurities are definitely a factor in all of this. We know Alec has pretty low self esteem in tmi, and he keeps having irrational thoughts about someone else grabbing Magnus’s attention, like in the trsom scene I've posted above. And he ends up taking out his insecurities on Magnus.
Was it wrong of Alec to say all those things to Magnus? Yes, absolutely. But looking back through all his scenes in cofa, it's easy to see how he could've fallen into the pit trap of emotions.
And before anyone says "but it wasn't addressed in the later books", it was, in CoLS. I’ve hit the image limit, so I'm just gonna type it out -
"[Magnus] said it would be better if he didn’t come. Apparently him and the Seelie Queen have some kind of history."
Isabelle raised her eyebrows.
"Not that kind of history," Alec said irritably. "Some kind of feud. Though," he added, half under his breath, "the way he got around before me, I wouldn't be surprised."
"Alec!" Isabelle dropped back to talk to her brother....
So, there. Alec makes yet another slutshaming comment, Isabelle overhears and is clearly not happy about it, and it's clearly implied that she talks to Alec about it. And Alec doesn't make any more slutshaming comments since then. Boy now knows what he did was wrong, and makes sure not to repeat it again.
Although, I do wish we had more than this. I wish we had more of Magnus and Alec talking about this argument, heck, even about all their arguments and the reasons they broke up, but you can't get everything you want, apparently :(
And now onto the next part...
PART 2 - IS ALEC BIPHOBIC?
The short answer, uh, no, not really.
The long answer.... would be complicated.
So, back in the day, when this discourse was at an all time high, I remember reading a bisexual person's essay about this topic, and they said that this comment from Alec - "or there are plenty of pretty girls here, since apparently your taste goes both ways. Is there anything you aren't into?" - would be a biphobic microagression.
According to Google, a microagression is "a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority".
And in Alec's case, IF his words were biphobic, they were completely unintentional. They were microagressive. Which is... still bad, of course, but it's more complicated than that.
If you look back on Alec's supposedly biphobic statements, they're more about Magnus’s hypersexuality and promiscuity than anything else. Yes, even the line i mentioned like two paragraphs ago. At first glance it may seem like a direct attack on Magnus’s sexuality, but think over the explanation I gave for the line and it will make sense. And a lot of people know that the whole 'bi people fuck around a lot and are cheaters' thing is a stereotype.
Now, it may seem like I'm going off topic here, but bear with me. I couple of days ago, I watched this video by chance. (Tw for the aids crisis and lots of biphobia, not from the narrator, if you wanna watch the video). Basically, back in the 1980s, bisexual men were scapegoated for spreading aids to the straight community and were vilified by popular media as being promiscuous scepters who would cheat on their wives with gay men and then give aids to their wives. (Yikes 😬). And since bisexuality was practically unheard of before all this (several bisexual activists have stated that all this shit, though unfortunate, pulled bisexuality out of the closet), it's safe to assume that this is how those stereotypes came to be - through 1980s propaganda.
But living with this propaganda is... a very limiting experience. The people who leaned and unlearned and fought against this propaganda are mostly US Americans who grew up with it, either the actual propaganda itself or passed down by their parents. But like I said, it's a very limiting experience. US is but one country out of many, and even for those living in the USA there's a chance that they grew up in a very hush-hush environment. People who grew up hearing all these stereotypes will see it as biphobia, while people who didn't - like Alec, and me, and several other people will not. A lot of people grow up with absolutely no knowledge of the queer community, and chances are that they'll be incredibly confused when a stereotype is pointed out to them, and they often get no more explanation than 'this is a harmful stereotype'. Queer experiences aren't the same for everyone, and while I respect the people who see this as biphobia, they should recognize that there are many people who won't see it that way.
I have seen bisexual people say that Alec's words were biphobic, and I've also seen bisexual people say that they weren't. Thus, there is no clear consensus about whether or not Alec was being biphobic. And like I said earlier, Alec grew up far, far away from mundane anti-queer bigotry. He was essentially a clean slate when it came to knowledge of eer microagressions of any kind, because microagressions and stereotypes are often incredibly specific, don't have anything to do with a person's race/sexuality/gender, etc. and will make zero sense unless you know the history behind them. To Magnus, who lived through the anti-bisexual scapegoating, the words would've definitely stung, but Alec didn't even know the implications he would be making with this words! Of course, the impact is greater than intention, and I imagine Magnus would sit Alec down one day and talk about all this history with him.
And idk if I can even blame cc cause the history of bisexual men is RARELY ever talked about, atleast on the internet.
Also, this scene in cofa is the only instance where he can be interpreted to be biphobic. Nowhere else in all of tmi, and even tec, do we see Alec express hatred or disgust or microagression towards bisexual people. If this was seen in a repeating pattern from Alec, one could argue that he's biphobic... but he isn't. Some might point to some of his internal thoughts in trsom to argue otherwise, but I believe that actions are superior than thoughts.
There's also the thing about unlearning prejudices, but in Alec's case there was hardly anything to be unlearned. The only prejudices he did pick up on were against himself, through vague homophobic comments from Robert.
P.S if you've read this far, I am legally entitled to compensation for thinking of cofa Alec for 48 hours. Put your favorite Alec moments in my askbox cause I wanna focus on his good side now. 😎
But yeah, the main thing here is that Alec has grown from his mistakes, apologized, and hasn't repeated this behavior at all.
And lastly, I just wanted to add - I don't think all this was unintentional on the author's part. She's grown up with the us American queer community, and has mentioned that she has bisexual friends, who have no doubt faced prejudices because of these stereotypes. I think she was trying to condemn making such statements, but a lot of people don't read between the lines and end up misinterpreting it and make both the character and her to be biphobic.
So... TLDR; was what Alec said biphobic? Maybe. It depends on who you're talking to. Is Alec, as a person, biphobic? Nope. Not at all. 😌
#this took WAYYYYY too long#im gonna go lay down for a while now#peace out#alec lightwood#magnus bane#malec#tmi#tec#tsc#meta#tsc meta#discourse#idk what else to tag hnnnng#i just hope i did this topic justice aksjakaksk#also idk what person needs to hear this#but im a bisexual person talking about bisexual issues#im not the authority on this obviously but if anyone pulls the 'i don't like this post so imma pull the OP is a straight person card'#imma SLAP you#😤😤😤#laks analyses
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Beren, the Nauglamír, and Editorial Oversight
this is gonna be a long one, guys.
so one of the things that makes Christopher Tolkien’s contributions to the greater legacy of the Tolkien Legendarium so complex is that he, as the posthumous editor of his father’s works, essentially was able to declare what is or isn’t “canon” in a way that no amount of scholarship (fannish or professional) will be able to truly successfully challenge. it’s his vision of Arda that was published as the Silmarillion, and his interpretations of the Professor’s works that have come to act as the standard and the baseline. after all, the Silm’s been traditionally published and translated into many languages; it’s far more accessible than out-of-print/print-on-demand copies of the History, and reading it doesn’t require you to slog through pages and pages of commentary or to have a good solid understanding of what the story is so you can follow along with lists of bullet points outlining events timeline-style.
of course, Chris also made mistakes, and those mistakes became enshrined in canon just as surely as anything else. I and many others have discussed the Gil-galad problem (namely, that Gil-galad’s parentage is oblique and strange at best and downright contradictory at worst, and Christopher’s choice to make him Fingon’s son was an admitted error) but it’s not the only case of a decision later proving to be the wrong one.
with that background, let’s talk about Beren.
Beren and Lúthien are in an unusual position in the Legendarium as a whole. Not only are they the sole author-insert characters, they’re also uniquely positioned as moral compasses - every other person in the Silm is morally ambiguous to some degree, or does bad or questionable things; not so with these two. If Beren or Lúthien does something, it’s explicitly the right thing to do, and this is confirmed by the narrative. If someone else opposes them, that is the wrong course of action. They’re not merely protagonists who make a lot of good choices, they’re good people, and the things they do are right because of their moral fiber and nobility. Of the active agents who are developed to any great degree, they’re the least complex and the most clear-cut, and the narrative itself treats them differently from other characters, validating them and framing them as the sort of spotless heroes that are in short supply in this Age.
This characterization runs headlong into the actions Beren takes in early drafts of the story and in the published Silm, where after dwarves kill Thingol and sack Menegroth, Beren (with the help of some allies, usually either Green-elves or Ents) ambushes them and duels the Lord of Nogrod for possession of the Nauglamír, a necklace originally owned by Finrod in Nargothrond that Húrin brought to Doriath after his release from Angband. Thingol commissioned dwarven artisans to alter the piece and create a setting in it for the Silmaril that Beren and Lúthien had won for him from Morgoth, and there was a dispute about payment that escalated to violence and ended in his death at dwarvish hands. The battle, later called the Battle of the Thousand Caves, was more or less a victory for dwarvish forces, as they escaped both with the Nauglamír and several other treasures from Menegroth and they defeated Sindarin forces that set out to stop them.
In most versions of the story, Melian sends Mablung to Ossiriand to warn Beren and Lúthien of what’s happened, and essentially asks them to do something to stop the retreating dwarvish forces from reaching Nogrod, where they came from. Beren does this, killing the Lord of Nogrod himself and taking the Nauglamír and the Silmaril home to Lúthien, who then gives it to Dior, who takes it back to Doriath when he takes the throne there. This is the version of the tale that’s in the published Silmarillion, and the one that’s consistent throughout the earlier drafts that Tolkien himself wrote.
But it’s not the only version that exists.
In The War of the Jewels, which compiles versions of the story written late in Tolkien’s life, we find The Tale of Years. This is not a cohesive narrative, instead functioning (like many of the writings that make up the bulk of the History of Middle-Earth) rather like a series of bullet points mentioning and summarizing key events. It progresses chronologically, giving a sense of passing time and organization to the First Age, and it has this to say about the Nauglamír and the battle at Sarn Athrad:
“The Dwarves of Belegost and Nogrod invade Doriath. King Elu Thingol is slain and his realm ended. Melian escapes and carries away the Nauglamír and the Silmaril, and brings them to Beren and Lúthien. She then forsook Middle-earth and returned to Valinor.
Curufin and Celegorm, hearing of the sack of Menegroth, ambushed the Dwarves at the Fords of Ascar as they sought to carry off the Dragon-gold to the mountains. The Dwarves were defeated with great loss, but they cast the gold into the river, which was therefore after named Rathlóriel. Great was the anger of the sons of Fëanor to discover that the Silmaril was not with the Dwarves; but they dared not to assail Lúthien. Dior goes to Doriath and endeavours to recover the realm of Thingol.”
(This quote is taken from the latest and typed version of the Tale of Years, an earlier handwritten version exists that is shorter but includes the same relevant details.)
Christopher Tolkien elected not to use this version of events, instead choosing to maintain the earlier tale where Beren had an active role; he was never truly satisfied with this, or with the Ruin of Doriath as a whole. In the commentary to the Tale of Years he wrote that “It seemed at that time that there were elements inherent in the story of the Ruin of Doriath as it stood that were radically incompatible with ‘The Silmarillion’ as projected, and that there was here an inescapable choice: either to abandon that conception, or else to alter the story. I think now that this was a mistaken view, and that the undoubted difficulties could have been, and should have been, surmounted without so far overstepping the bounds of the editorial function.” We have, for a second time, an admission of error, though unlike the Gil-galad question there is not a specific choice singled out as a flaw.
Why am I talking about this? Well, simply, I think that the version of the story where Celegorm and Curufin attack the Dwarvish host is the one that makes the most sense, and I’m here to make my case for its adoption as fanon. I’m not trying to take a purely scholarly view - I can’t prove that Tolkien’s true vision was for this version of the text, and of course it’s only in the one draft - but as a fandom we’ve reached the consensus before that specific versions of the story are preferred, even when they only appear in a single draft (Amrod’s death at Losgar stands out as the best example).
So here’s my argument.
1. Beren is not a violent man, and having him act as a murderer is out of character.
This one is pretty simple - Beren is an outlaw fighting against Sauron, a defender of his family’s land, a nobleman in his own right, and a vegetarian who is keenly aware of what it is to be hunted and pursued. The man we’re introduced to in the other versions of the story is not someone who would answer violence with violence unless there was no other choice, and in fact he becomes less violent as the story goes on. Putting him in a position where he’s acting militarily against the Dwarves introduces elements to his character that simply don’t exist before this story. It’s inconsistent, and it also ends his life on a strange, sour note - he’s not an uncomplicated hero anymore, he’s also got blood on his hands.
2. Beren is one of the moral compasses of the Silmarillion, and having him be the one to spearhead the ambush of the Dwarves frames that act of violence in a very troubling light.
Like I said above, Beren and Lúthien are good people who do good things, and those things are good because of who’s doing them. If Beren kills the Dwarves and the Lord of Nogrod, that act becomes justifiable, and perhaps even the right thing to do, simply due to the fact that one of the two true heroes of the First Age is doing it. The narrative never frames this as a downfall or a moral event horizon for Beren, either - he made the correct decision and the consequences that come afterward aren’t things that can be blamed on him. But wholesale slaughter, even slaughter of people who do bad things, is not something Tolkien ever condones or paints in a truly positive light, so it makes more sense for it to come at the hands of people who aren’t solely positive forces. It’s thematically in line with what Tolkien does through the rest of the text, and it feels more like Arda, at least to me. I think an argument could be made that Tolkien realized that making Celegorm and Curufin the responsible party would achieve this end, and that’s why this version exists in the first place, but there’s no proof of it.
3. The Laiquendi are nonviolent, and it makes no sense for them to be involved in this fight. The Ents being involved at all is somewhat nonsensical based on what we know of them in The Lord of the Rings.
Another simple one - we don’t know much about the Laiquendi, but we know they’re not really keen on warfare or on any undue violence, so having them be Beren’s backup is a weird divergence from their presentation in the rest of the Legendarium. And the Ents are pretty universally depicted as uninvested in the wars of the incarnates, only taking action against Saruman when it becomes apparent they have no other choice - why should they care about Thingol’s death, or care enough to murder dwarves?
4. Melian’s actions make far more sense in a version of the story where she doesn’t merely abandon Doriath once she realizes Thingol is dead.
If Menegroth is already sacked, and she cannot hold the realm together on her own as its Queen without really fucking shit up with reality-warping shadow magic, her choice to abandon it after delivering the Silmaril safely to her daughter and warning her that Dior will be needed soon is far less irresponsible.
5. Celegorm and Curufin ambushing the dwarves makes more sense than any other alternative.
Of course Celegorm and Curufin were actively watching Doriath for any sign of weakness. Of course they noticed the dwarves leaving with stolen treasures, and heard rumors that Thingol was dead and his killers had the Silmaril. Given the choice of following Melian (if they even were aware of Melian’s departure) and following dwarves, of course they picked the dwarves. Their ambush and attack and slaughter is consistent with their past behavior, as is their refusal to attack Lúthien because they were scared as fuck of her.
What’s more, this also explains the Fëanorians’ refusal to attack Doriath immediately after the dwarves do - they were unsure of whether or not Lúthien was in Menegroth and ruling as its queen or acting in some capacity as Dior’s defender. Celegorm in particular isn’t the type to hesitate - he’s impulsive, and rash, and rushes into bad decisions without considering their consequences, it’s even in his name. But they waited for years, giving Dior time to marry and have children of his own, and then even sent letters rather than attack directly - and yes, some of this might have been Maedhros’s influence, or an attempt by all of them to stave off the Oath, but it’s also plausible that they were trying to figure out whether or not they’d have to take on the same woman who made fools of them before.
I, at least, think this version of the story makes the most sense, and I’ll be adopting it into my personal canon. I obviously think it’s worth advocating for on a larger scale, and I hope I’ve made a good argument for its widespread adoption.
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