#you people(targeted at a specific group) make me lose my mind i swear to fucking godddd

[sporkberries]

Every time someone talks about Cassandra Cain without having read Batgirl(2000) i am owed $100 for psychological damages

[soulmate-game]

Okay, I’m not sure if what I was trying to say in my last post was said very well.

I completely understand the tagging situation from the First Wave with the DC fans. That’s discourse that is mostly solved and we can’t do anything about those who are forever gonna be bitter or lazy. I’m not talking about that stuff.

The stuff I want to prevent/limit is the hate that comes after our fandom deliberately. And yes, I know I can’t stop it. None of us can stop bitter, antagonistic people from being bitter and antagonistic. None of us can stop people who just want to be angry.

I’m not talking about stopping them, though.

I’m talking about what we can do to protect ourselves as creators and consumers in this fandom. As people who love and appreciate what the creations and people in this fandom have to offer. In simplistic form, I’m saying we need to learn how to shield ourselves from bullies. And there are methods we can use to make ourselves less of a target to the people who go after us, and methods to cut their attacks off short. None of these methods are fool-proof, but they will work to filter out a good majority of the shit we would otherwise be showered by, like a big umbrella against Assholery. Sure, the wind might still blow some in our face and we might splash in a puddle or two by accident, but at least we aren’t soaked.

So let me list the various things that can help you shield yourself from hate/harassment/antis who might just be out to get you.

1) leave the fandom.

The most effective, but least attractive method possible. This is limited to being a last ditch effort, if things have just gotten too hard to handle. I’m covering it first though, because we have to acknowledge that it is a viable method. If you feel trapped, hated, bullied, I’m sure all of us in this fandom would prefer you take a break and leave us for a while in the sake of your own health and safety then stay where you are miserable. This is less of a problem for us though, because mostly this option is gonna be for fandoms where the discourse and attacks are internal. Maribat is largely a peaceful and supportive/healthy environment once you’re inside our little bubble, the main discourse comes from outside in. So let’s focus on the main point of this post— how to keep our bubble from popping.

2) Make it apparent right away that you are Unapologetic.

Whenever you post content or are approached by someone about the topic of your fandom, don’t you DARE ever apologize for liking what you like or posting unproblematic content. You need to make it clear right off the bat that you are not gonna be swayed, bullied, or shamed out of your fandom. Stand with pride and make it clear, but don’t be verbose about it. A simple “Don’t like, don’t read” is classic but sometimes if you’re posting/talking during a more confrontational period of the fandom, you need to up your game to reflect that. The funny thing is, people can easily be intimidated by swearing if it isn’t directed at them or clearly antagonistic. If you’re swearing in a joking, casual or even in a manner that shows you’re not taking yourself too seriously, people will usually avoid picking fights with you. For this, my favorite lines to use on my work include;

“Don’t like, I don’t fucking care. I fell down the rabbit hole.”

“Don’t bother reading if you’re not into this, this shit bitch-slapped me and dragged me along on it’s adventure.”

“I’m addicted to this fandom, don’t bother trying to save me. If it bothers you, I don’t give a fuck. Save yourselves.”

3) Don’t approach or interact

Unless someone comes at you first, never try to persuade someone away from hating us. That just makes you a target in an empty field, for the vultures to surround and gang up on. If someone approaches you with provocative but not overly insulting or intelligent language— I.e; trying to start a fight, vague insults not always relating to the fandom itself, trying to insult your character/judgement— do not respond. Delete the message, block the account, and surround yourself with fluffy good stuff to forget the wanna-be harasser. These people are often not brave enough to outright start a fight, and want you to get defensive first so they know the weak points in your armor to exploit. Defensive statements declare your own insecurities, don’t get defensive. It gives them a way to win without having to defend themselves or feel vulnerable— it’s like exploiting type differences in Pokémon. You wait for an unfamiliar Pokémon to expose it’s type, then snipe it with the moves it’s weak to. Then, you have a near sure-fire win even with under leveled Pokémon on your team.

Don’t be a proud Infernape that gets sniped by a weak-ass level 5 Piplup. We’re strong, don’t show them the chinks in our armor.

4) Have a support network. Even if they don’t know they are your support network.

The fandom as a whole serves this purpose, and this is mostly gonna be a tactic you use when the discourse is inside the fandom, but there can be uses for this in discourse from outside the fandom as well. If someone tries to act like they like your story/art “but...” they passive aggressively state things they “would prefer” or they try to make it sound like you made stupid mistakes (a tactic to make you insecure about yourself) instead of kindly pointing out errors or offering constructive criticism (ex: “you know you put your trigger list somewhere where it’s useless right? Love your story though.)—THESE ARE ALL PROVOCATIONS. They are trying to make you insecure so that you change things about yourself, your work, or jump through hoops to try to “make it up” to them when you did nothing wrong and there are no problems to fix. Do not fall for it! Instead, politely as possible, bring the issue into a public space where you feel safe/trust the people in that space to keep the bullshit from escalating. For me, I straight up explain my reasoning for the placement of my trigger list as if I’m advertising a particularly boring but important product that I’m selling, then offer places for them to bring the issue into a discussion with others. I send them to a discoed group or right here to my tumblr, and I immediately make the issue into a big discussion (do YOU think there is anything to change? Let’s ALL talk about it) so that I am no longer isolated and easy for them to harass. They might refuse to join the discussion and further try to pressure you, but do not cave. Merely say that a public discussion has been started, and if they are actually, legitimately concerned about the way you do things then they can debate it in a public setting. This way, you have back up. 9/10 people who try to target you this way will back off and never enter the conversation you started.

5) Do not fight back.

This sounds counterintuitive, but a lot of the time once discourse gets this bad, arguing/defending/ trying to prove your point only fuels their rage more. I have found that people hate very little in this world more than they hate being wrong. And people who hate being wrong will fight to the bitter death about their opinions, no matter how invalid or hurtful they are, in the favor of their blissful ignorance. Remove yourself from harmful discussions or those that seem to be going in circles as soon as possible, and try to surround yourself in your support group. Never let people make you feel stupid, your opinions illegitimate, or your likes/dislikes invalid or evil.

6) Try to learn how to recognize bullies in disguise

It’s too much for me to try to cover here, but you need to PLEASE look into how to spot gaslighting. Tactics of gaslighting are often used to attack others and try to make them feel like their own opinions are invalid or their mindset untrustworthy. People will often approach you in the guise of friendship/support/ “I am not into this, but...” and while this is not always a red flag, we have to keep our eyes open for any signs of this person or their approach being rooted in anything other than legitimate curiosity or kindness. Not all suggestions that say they are out of concern actually ARE. Keep an eye out for warning signs, and cut off interaction once things seem like they may lead to an argument or you being in a vulnerable position if you continue interacting.

(Brief mention of s**cide and threats in the section below)

7) If all else fails, BLOCK THEM.

No hesitation, we don’t need this shit. They make a second account? Block that too. Don’t respond, only take screenshots or reblog if it is directly harmful information that can/should be documented (words that encourage suicide, threats, insults that seem a little too specific for comfort) and give the evidence to someone you trust to look out for you. A therapist, a family member, or even the authorities if you deem that necessary. Just don’t handle it alone.

We are not responsible for other people’s actions, opinions, or anger. Take the steps to protect yourself instead of trying to reconcile. Sometimes, reconciliation isn’t an option. Both parties have to be willing to reconcile, and it is clear they have nothing in mind but hurting us. So raise your shields and protect yourself and your friends, we’re not gonna lose a war to petty jerks.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

words:3.7k

pairing: aizawa x fem!reader

warnings: tw mention of blood, tw mentions of death, mentions of drugs in case you forgot this is a cartel au, murder, swearing, keigo being a cocky lil fucker, sexual harassment towards the end cause yakuza men suck

rating: 18+ cause shit gets real this chapter

a/n: i FINALLY FINISHED IT FUCK YES chapter two mothafuckas!!! i’ve been having so much fun brainstorming everything to come, and here you’re gonna really get a feel for how big this cartel is. player two, f/n l/n, you’re up! <3

all rights reserved ©️aizawaskittenwhore. do not copy, repost, or modify.

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨: 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝’𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 ↳ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞

September 13th, 2181

2:56pm

Musutafu, Japan

“Hold the fuck up. This doesn’t make any sense, I mean��these are Pros. Well known and well respected Pros, at that. The hell would they be tryna’ run a fucking cartel for?!?” Ken Takagi (more commonly known as Rock Lock) rubbed the bridge of his nose in confusion, not understanding the motive or correlation. “I mean think about it. These motherfuckers got more money than they know what to do with. Endeavor is a shareholder in goddamn Nintendo, Hawks owns his own fucking agency and line of sports cars, and I could’ve sworn I saw Eraser getting Shinsou fitted for a fucking Cuban on his birthday a few months ago. It’s not like they’re strapped for cash these days.” Ken huffed, the agent’s arms crossed as he leaned back in the conference chair.

In an attempt to try and broaden the range on your current investigation, your department recruited the help of several Pros to provide reinforcements in Japan, the States, and wherever else sales were being made. Going undercover was already plenty dangerous, and going alone was the equivalent of signing your own death warrant. Enlisting the help of Rock Lock, Ryukyu, Miruko, Fatgum, Edgeshot and plenty of others was relatively easy; these were Heroes that had experience with smugglers and narcotics-based operations, so when you’d approached them with the task at hand, they’d happily agreed.

However, some needed more convincing than others.

“Takagi. Think about it. Sure, they may not be living paycheck to paycheck, but look at the timeline.” You state, looking over your shoulder towards the holographic board displaying an interactive timeline of the investigation, including photos, invoices and even audio recordings pulled from surveillance cameras. “Two years ago, we seized a truck containing approximately 78 kilograms of crack cocaine. When we questioned the driver on where he was taking it and where he got it from, he didn’t budge. Luckily for us, the dumbass wasn’t smart enough to avoid a paper trail, leaving the insurance documents in the glove compartment when we’d taken him into custody. The insurance company was under the name “Target Lance”, but after doing some digging on the name we found out the corporation went bankrupt six months before and was eventually bought out by Chevrolet.” Pausing to return to the screen welded to the wall behind you, your hands swiped as you searched for the file reading December 5th, 2178: A live video feed of a towering skyscraper being built, the building’s name reading “Chevrolet Corvette Inc.” as it hovered above tens of stories above each worker.

“But you all haven’t heard the name Chevy in a while right? That’s because two weeks after that building was built, the hundred-million dollar company was bought out by Takami Corporate-”

“-who owns Takami Motors. Which is the brand associated with the Peregrine Speedsters, Hawks’ damned sports car line.” Ken finished for you, brown spheres twinkling in sudden clarity. “Now you’re speaking my language.” You nod, hands waving as you continue to brief the room of Pros.

“The Todoroki and Nintendo console collaboration didn’t happen until about earlier this year, March to be specific. Which is quite convenient..since around that time the price of cocaine per gram stabilized in both America and Japan, rising from $112 to $138 bucks a pop. I’m nobody to speak on looks either, but for as long as we’ve known of him, Eraser has dressed like a depressed college student with insomnia that doesn’t understand the concept of soap or a pair of clippers. Now he’s got his wife in Cartier bracelets and getting his shirts tailored because the collar “doesn’t allow him enough room for his capture weapon”?!? Bullshit.” You huff, stifling a smile as you watch Miruko and Edgeshot snicker in their seats at your...blunt observation.

“It makes sense. Three years ago all our agencies, including those overseas, started cutting our checks down by half. They can barely afford to pay us a quarter of what we used to make, and these guys are making these lavish purchases while we all starve?? No way. Something’s fishy, and it’s damn sure not this takoyaki.” Fatgum spat, hands quivering with rage as he struggled to grasp the food with his chopsticks.

“Fatgum’s right. Hero unemployment is at a staggering 8.7 percent. Meanwhile, these men are spending money like it’s going out of style. It makes no sense.” Miruko pondered, Ryukyu folding her hands in her lap as she voiced her approval for immediate action. Edgeshot nodded in agreement, brows furrowed in frustration at this blatant disregard for the law. “So we’re all in agreement that our own people have resorted to breaking the law. Cool, got it. Question is, why? And what the hell are we gonna do about it?” Ken demanded, his patience having worn thin from all this speculation.

“Good question. I think they’re trying to take advantage of the tough spot the Hero Commission is in right now, manipulate that vulnerability and use it for their own gain. They’re not invulnerable to the tough times Pros are facing in the workforce. So they’ve gotten together to try and make it work for them, even if it means breaking the law.” You query, hands typing furiously at the virtual screen to pull up the files of each Hero, displaying all the current information on them from their blood type to each known family member. “These three banding together though? Along with other people? There’s no way. They hate each other. Or at the very least couldn’t get anything done even if they did have a common goal in mind.” Edgeshot murmured lowly.

“I thought so too. But then it hit me: it’s not just some flimsy group project. Sure, crime has gone up since the formation of this cartel, but nobody who holds any rank has been murdered or harmed in any way. No no no, these guys are singing in tune for now...which means there’s a damn good choir director among them. So I’ve volunteered to go undercover, work my way through this organization and figure out just how high up this goes.” You assert, shoulders rigid and chin aloft as the harnesses of your costume frame your figure.

“Alone?? Are you outta your goddamn mind? Let me go, you’ll need back up-” Rock Lock sputters, hands fanning out in shock.

“No way. What about your wife, your kid?! This isn’t just some average drug bust, we’re dealing with powerful men in possession of superhuman abilities that have the game on lockdown. You’ve got too much to lose, more than any of us anyway. Edgeshot and I will go, we’ve seen the other side of the law before, and our quirks are better suited for stealth should anything go wrong.” You fire, eyes narrowing into slits. “The rest of you will be working in tandem with the DEA and our resources, and we’ll report back to you with all future developments. We’ll also need you to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice, if we need it.”

A thick silence clogged the air, Ken settling back into his seat across the table. His amber eyes flickered in irritation before huffing in acceptance, the situation being out of his hands. All the conference participants’ gazes fixed in determination, some with anger. The tense aura weighed on everyone present before Miruko cleared her throat, ivory teeth gleaming in a smirk.

“Well we’ve got a solid plan. So all I wanna know is...when do we start?

June 2nd, 2182

In all honesty...you thought the nickname was just a sad attempt to stroke his ego. But seeing the way over seventy commercial-size planes and approximately 30 seaplanes sat aloft balmy concrete in the Guadalajara sun showed you exactly why they called Hawks “Lord of The Skies”. Arrays of laborers with avian-oriented quirks loaded kilo after kilo of coke on to each and every plane, some by hand and others by forklift. Welders were personally hand selected by Keigo himself to eliminate the issue of utilizing every available inch of space; each vessel having been stripped of everything from the seats to the built in mini-bars (much to Keigo’s chagrin). From where you stood in the scalding hot beams, the runway seemed to extend for miles as it brimmed with visible heat-waves.

Dressed in a simple black tank top, black biker type shorts, aluminum plated gauntlets, steel toed combat boots and harnesses that encapsulated the curves of your body before coming to a stop at your thighs, you silently rejoiced in the airflow your gear allowed you in spite of the color. The bandanna atop your hairline helped to absorb some of the sweat, which was a bonus.

“Not bad for a starter fleet huh? The wingspan on these babies almost makes me jealous.” A rich and decadent voice called from your left. Sleek carmine appendages and brassy blond hair entered your peripheral vision, giving way to the man who ran the show: Keigo Takami. Adorned in a pair of low rise denim jeans that were so incomprehensibly tight they accentuated every bit of his dick (which was likely intentional), a plain white tee and ebony cowboy boots that looked like they cost three times what you make in a week; he most definitely looked the part of the People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” and Playboy’s “Player of the Month” titles he’d earned. Luminous olive skin glistened with sweat, droplets sliding down the deep v neck of his shirt with ease; the way the daisy-hued fabric stuck to his crafted abdomen leaving nothing to the imagination. Tourmaline and Argentium piercings dangled effortlessly from both ears, and if you weren’t so hell-bent on putting the motherfucker in jail you would’ve had no problem admitting how attractive he really was.

“Starter fleet? You’re about to put Delta out of business, look at this shit!” You guffaw, arms folded, an eyebrow raised in astonishment at his “humble” admission. “Flattery will get you everywhere, and then some.” Keigo chuckles, breath hot against your ear the instant he bends at the waist, hands settled in his pockets with that cocky aura about him.

“-And having your damn breath against my ear in 107 degree weather will, respectfully, get you my foot up your ass. I didn’t fly down here to get treated like one of your poor interns. I came here to make money, so let’s talk it.” You lash, the climbing tempature slicing your tolerance for bullshit to shreds.

“Shit. Straight to the point huh? I like it. You wanna talk shop, say no more. Over lunch though, I’m starving out here.” Keigo clicks his teeth with a grin, escorting the two of you towards the very jet he’d arrived in. “A little unknown fact about me, usually I hate flying ”conventionally”. Gives me anxiety, and I’m awful company when I’m nervous.”

Settling into the light taupe hued cabin, you observe the not-so-subtle elements of class. Ivory shochu bottles with intricate crystalline glasses to match, the bar fully stocked with gold accents along the upholstery. Plates of costly Kobe style beef rested atop spotless porcelain, romaine lettuce coupled with grilled applewood bacon, chicken, avocado and buttermilk dressing settled into envy-inducing black marble bowls. The plane was spacious, and certainly cost a pretty penny or two. “You’re upfront, so I’ll be honest with you. As of right now, this plane is the last thing I’m worried about-” Hawks mutters lowly, dijon eyelets tapering into thin slivers.

“-It’s the Shie Hassaikai making their encore appearance, and with the Colombians at that.”

You choke on a sip of Vega Sicilia, pupils dilating at the thought. 

“Now you spoke about wanting to make some money, right?” You nod, heart rate steadily rising. 

“What if I could offer you something more? Something of...extensive value.” Keigo drawled, dark undertone flooding the air like a thick smoke.  “Like what, Takami?” You inquire.

“A seat at the table.” He shrugs, like one would if they were discussing something as trivial as ice cream flavors or Friday night plans, not the reorganization of a crime syndicate. “You’ve been workin’ for me shy of a year now right? Somethin’ like that? Anyway..”

He takes a deep, contemplative swig of the chestnut liquid, eyes boring into yours. 

“You’re efficient, and you don’t take anyone’s shit. Good help’s hard to find in our line of work, and before you know it, this little hierarchy is gonna go under some..reorganization. Only the people who aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty will have a place in the new order, so I want you there.”

“What’s the catch? I’m not dumb enough to just assume this is some promotion for busting my ass.” You tread, brain working double-time to try and decipher just what Keigo’s getting at. “Clever girl. It’s a simple task, in and out.” He assures, middle and ring finger sliding a matte-finish photo across the mahogany. Displayed was Kinan Zango, a member of the Shie Hassaikai’s middle rankings shaking hands with Joaquin Fuentes, a Columbia native known for having a body count in the double digits. 

“Another fact about me: Only one thing heightens my anxiety more than planes...people who fuck with my money. This asshole Kinan’s been selling my routes to the fucking Columbians and pocketing the profits, and getting 20% of the product as a little “thank you” when he knows nobody moves coke through the Gulf other than Takami fucking Keigo. He’s becoming a problem, and I don't like those.” Kei growls, left eye twitching minutely. His nails are sinking into the polish of the wood, his energy vehemently furious.

“Take care of this for me, and you’ll be my plus one to Guadalajara tomorrow.”

The general public often made the mistake of writing Keigo off as just your average “pretty boy”. Whereas a trained eye could see that while he may be pretty, he was nobody to be tested. The sheer intellect he possesses to seek, hand-craft each and every route, assign planes to their designated locations along with alternatives should there ever be an issue? He just didn’t get enough credit. 

So he took major offense when someone had the audacity to treat his hard work as though it was theirs.

Besides.. you got a man with looks, money and bloodlust? Tch. You’ve just created a monster.

You weren’t necessarily opposed to the idea of ridding the world of another drug-dealing degenerate, but the idea of casually committing a murder as a DEA agent in a foreign country just didn't sit right with you. Undercover agents weren’t permitted a “license to kill” should the investigation call for it either, so it was between committing a murder as government agent, or declining Keigo’s request and missing out on a front row seat to the cartel’s entire operation.

The silence that followed his sentence was deafening. Ice cubes chimed loftily as they swirled around inside his glass, clear liquid sloshing around while he awaited an answer.

Your jaw sets, eyes piercing into his. 

“Consider it done.”

Blood spattered onto the pale concrete, moonlight illuminating the scarlet hues. Your knuckles throbbed with pain, the sensation blossoming through your hand as your lips curled back in a snarl, vigorously ridding your hands of the other man’s bodily fluids. 

“ If you really think coming after me for that bird brained motherfucker is gonna change anything, you got another thing fucking coming.” Kinan spat, nose steadily flowing with red. His lip was busted, face splotched with yellowing purple bruises. Tugging at his restraints he thrashed, mouth spewing white-hot venom.

“You’re talking a lot of shit for a middle-ranking yakuza who thinks some new coke routes is gonna keep the Hassaikai from dumping your body on the side of some road in Zacatecas.” You observe, sending a harsh kick between the mans ribs, steel toed boots making an audible crack. “The Japanese are like Dixie Cups to them...”‘use em’ once, then throw em’ away”, right? You’re a fool if you think your days aren't numbered once you wear out your welcome.”

“Fuck you. You’re little boy toy threw a temper tantrum, so he sent you to “take care of things”, isn’t that right?” Kinan coos, eyes softening in a mocking pout. 

“Trust me, you're not the first slut Takami’s been sticking it in that he’s sent to kill me. Only difference between you and the rest of those bitches-” He huffs, head craning back against the metal chair to let our a soft breath of laughter. “-is that you’re gonna put up a fight.”

Suddenly his bones began to shift, popping and snapping as his skin began to pool below him; you recoiled in fear watching his body slowly slip from his imprisonment like gelatin exits a mold.

“I’ve got elastic bones kid! Whatever breaks just snaps right back into place.”

Skin stretching and pulling as he regained his original form, legs sprinting towards you. Before you could fire off your Quirk’s sonic blast his grip seized the back of your neck, a blade taking residence just below your left eye; it’s tip pressing uncomfortably into your water line. 

“Now, if you're good, I’ll make it quick. Though I’m known for being pretty... through with my toys.” Kinan leers, a hand slowly slithering down your sides to reach for the muscle of your ass. 

“Go to hell, and die there while you’re at it!” You shout.

Bile creeping into your throat, you seize the momentary shift in energy, generating a small sound wave that sent Kinan a few feet to your left; giving the two of you some distance. Your Quirk allowed you to absorb sound to power-up your physical movements, or send it out in the form of sonic blasts or sound waves, so the louder the sound, the more power it gave you. Readying your fists in anticipation for combat, you silently willed for a sudden disruption in the deafening silence as he rushed back to your rigid body. 

What you didn’t anticipate was that the sudden bang that filled the air, and the lifeless body of Kinan dropping to your feet with a thud, his head...

excavated, for lack of a better word.

“Don’t you know the entire point of having backup while under cover is to... call for backup?” Edgeshot snarked, striding towards you, gun settled back into it’s holster. His foot carelessly nudged the bleeding man before removing a Polaroid camera from his knapsack and snapping a photo of the carnage.

“W-what the fuck?! Look, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful when I say this, but what the absolute fuck did you just do??? We’re government agents, in a foreign country, we can’t just fucking murder these assholes nor do we have the license to-” You sputter, brows arching in frustration.

“This was your ticket into Guadalajara. I just secured you box seats when you were this close to getting stuck in the damned nosebleeds. I believe the correct words you’re looking for are thank you.” Kamihara snaps, shoving the photo into your hand. 

“We’re in a world completely different from our own. It’s forgiveness first, and permission later down here. I don’t like it either...but it’s just the way things are.” He sighs, hanging his head while his shoulders settled like the solar system rested on them. 

“I’ll take care of this. Now take that to Hawks, and don’t you dare fuck it up. Don’t let me have killed this poor asshole in vain.” 

You nod, stepping over Kinan’s body. 

Good riddance.

“Thank you, by the way.” You putter. Kamihara returns the sentiment with a nod, before turning to the corpse before him, phone raised to his ear as he spoke with whoever was on the opposite line, eyes that were once grey now swam with deep scarlet.

“Excellent work! I won’t lie, I had a feeling you were hardcore, but damn, this is some seamless shit! You deserve my praise.” Keigo beams, pearly teeth sparkling in the light of the cabin. Nodding in acceptance you grasped his hand upon his offering, permitting him to escort you towards your respective aircraft.

“Well, a promise is a promise. And if nothing else, I’m most certainly a man of my word. Meet me at this airstrip same time tomorrow, 8am. Pack light, Mexico’s a bitch in the summer, though you already know that.”

“Got it. Pleasure doing business with you, Hawks.”

“Call me Keigo, if you want. I hate all the formal shit, long as we got respect, that's all I need.” He shrugs.

“Understood. See you tomorrow, Keigo.” You affirm, climbing the ladder to your jet, body visibly relaxing at the thought of rest.

“Wait--before you go, I wanted to ask ya. What’s with the whole ancient hieroglyphics tat you got goin on, on your spine? It just looks familiar, is all.” He queries.

Home.

November 12th, 2174.

“Y/N! I found somethin’! It’s this super cool protection rune I found in grandma’s things. Check it out! It wards off all evil, and whoever’s in possession of it can, like, balance their energy with the divine power.”

“You’re such a hippie, I swear to god.” You grin.

“Don’t hate because my chakras are balanced and yours aren’t, bitch.” She grinned, index and thumb coming together to flick your forehead. 

“At least take it with you for your exam, for good luck! Pleaseeeee! I think it’ll really help.” Her doe eyes melting your steely resolve. You could never deny her, those eyes constantly solidifying her role as the younger sister. 

“...Only if you’ll clean my room for me when I come back for Christmas.” You demand, an eyebrow raised in mirth.

“Deal.”

And even though you never did admit it to her, that tiny piece of paper tucked into your bra did more for you during that exam than any late night cram session ever could’ve.

“It’s a protection rune. To ward off all evil energies, spirits and all that shit.” You mutter.

“Hm. Looks like it works, seeing how well tonight panned out for ya. Could use me one, would probably keep old man Todoroki out my fuckin’ hair.” He chuckles, hands releasing from the railing as he threw you a wave.

“But I wouldn’t worry too much about tomorrow, anyway. I got a feeling you’re gonna fit in just fine with us.” He smirked.

Ah.

If only that were true, Keigo.

taglist! : @liliesoftherainmain @therealwalmartjesus

[noodlesfluff]

The Fire Nations Assassin - Zuko x fem!reader (pt.1)

SUMMARY: y/n has been raised as an assassin and has the opportunity to gain her freedom. What could go wrong? Well… turns out the person she was assigned to kill wasn’t the actual threat.

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: death. Kinda gory not really but like 1 descriptive sentence about death I think? Swearing. Maybe a bit angsty? Not really. Abusive family relationship. Grammar, spelling and punctuation. 

A/N: Hiya friends this is my first atla fic! Hope you like it :)) There will most likely be more parts to this idk lolol.  Also! Second day in a row posting wow! We love procrastinating uni work. NEW EDIT: hi everyone! future chapters for this series WILL BE POSTED ON @noodlesfluffy​ !!!! This account will NOT be used for this series’ future chapters :)

also! italics = flashback 

part 2

20 minutes until midday.

This is it. You completed your final mission and you would be free at last. Finally. Zemin, your wonderful guardian and boss said that the prize for today's target would give you enough gold pieces that you can finally go home. Well, you didn’t have a home. Not anymore, but anywhere away from the Fire Nation? You will gladly take it with open arms. Honestly at first you were surprised, freedom at the age of 13 seems way to easy. You didn’t know a life other than constantly fighting for the gold pieces that would pay off your debt with Zemin for raising you…but all the other assassins in the nation are still paying off their debts with their trainers. Then again, you’re the most feared assassin in the Fire Nation, and highly sought after. Even if you haven’t been on the scene for as long the others, nor do they realise you’re literally a 13-year-old girl.

You suppose that made it easier when you entered the palace in your finest robes claiming you’re the niece of the Fire Lords general. Little did the guards know, you were about to kill said uncle.  

You hit another dead end.

“Fuck.” Why are there so many corridors? You know you can’t leave the way you came in, it’s too suspicious. The guards would know something is wrong. Why would you leave the palace before you got a chance to see the general, your “uncle”, before he wins his Agni Kai?

You’ve never had to enter the palace before today, nor did you ever have to really go near it. Zemin had given you a vague location of the exits, yet somehow failed to mention how stupidly big the palace was. That asshole. Normally the ones who are commissioning you to kill come from within the palace. You never know who they are, but what you do know is that you kill those who come too close to replacing them from their oh so treasured positions next to the Fire Lord. Nobel scum. Ironically, the ones you do kill are no better than them, hiding in the taverns in the middle of the night cheating on their wives. So why the hell did you have to visit the palace now.

10 minutes until midday.

This by far had to be the worst mission you have ever gone on. Turning yet another corner you try to navigate an exit leading to somewhere, anywhere out of this damned palace and as far away from the body. You knew this would’ve been a lot easier if you were given at least a day to snoop the exits but you only feel your fire rage inside you thinking about the argument you had with Zemin last night.

“What do you mean the target is in the palace?!”

Zemin being the kind and loving guardian he is, didn’t even bother to face you. “Look y/n. You have one shot to kill the general tomorrow. No later. If you miss your chance, you’re just going to have to keep doing the regular jobs. Just be grateful you have this opportunity. They specifically wanted you to do it anyway. You’re the cleanest in the game. You’re also the only one who manages to get away every time without using your bending. If I’m honest, that’s just a compliment to me.”

Scoffing you move towards him. “This is suicide! You can’t expect me to enter that palace and kill the general! I’ll get caught without time to prepare, I don’t even know what the inside of the palace is like!!”

He finally looks you in the eye, unphased. “It doesn’t matter what you want or what you know y/n. If you fail this mission, you might as well die with your freedom. There is an Agni Kai tomorrow at the palace, and it seems that whoever commissioned you to kill the general, hopes you can act as a safeguard for whoever is on the other side.”

Your heart skips a beat. “An Agni Kai?! You can’t possibly think I can get away with this! Everyone in the nation knows how binding they are. Even if I do manage to kill the general, they’ll hunt me down! I won’t make it out alive!”

Fire rages behind Zemin’s eyes, “You will make it. I have trained you for the past seven years of your life! You are the only one capable of completing this mission and you should know this! Trainers all around the nation have countless students who have died on missions you can complete in an hour. Do you know why?! Because they spread their knowledge too wide and too thin. If there is one thing my brother and I have in common its that who you pass your knowledge down to must be worthy. You are worthy Y/N. Now, sit. Lets eat, and I will give you the briefing for tomorrow. If there is one thing you must remember, it’s that you must kill the general and get out by midday, or else whoever is on the other side of that Agni Kai will most likely die. You are their only hope. I wasn’t told who it was but they must be inexperienced or stupid.”

As you stare at the painting of the general on the dining room table you know one thing is certain. They are inexperienced and stupid, especially since I’m about to die for this person.  

2 minutes until midday.

In a rushed panic you follow a random group of people walking into a public area. Maybe you can blend in the crowd and find an exit before they notice that one of the participants for the Agni Kai is lying on the floor of his office with a nice and wide slit to his throat.

You almost freeze as you walk through the threshold after the group before you. Remembering the area on the awful map Zemin showed you of the palace last night, you knew this is where the Agni Kai was being held. You wanted to puke. It was almost as if the spirits were laughing at you, payback for all the lives you’ve taken. Feeling too exposed, you stand as far to the side as possible, your eyes instinctively scanning the area for any threats, weapons, and most importantly, a fucking exit.

1 minute until midday.

There it is! On the other side of the room you see an exit. This is it. You did it. Making your way as quickly around the duelling area, you almost want to bring a smile to your face. Reaching it in literal record timing, just as you’re about to walk out the door, you notice the crowd goes quiet. That doesn’t seem right. Taking one last glance behind you, you see a Fire Nation flag fall onto the duelling ground.

Midday.

“No….” you think to yourself, “that can’t be!”

You killed the general. You knew you had, you stared at the painting long enough to know you killed the right one. You never make mistakes. Ever. So why was the Agni Kai still happening? As if the spirits wanted to laugh at you in the face, you saw the Fire Lord enter from the other side of the platform. Confused you glance to who he was going to face. Why would you be sent to kill someone who was going to face the Fire Lord? Surely, he could defend himself? Holding back a gasp, it all clicks in your head. You weren’t protecting the Fire Lord from the general, you were protecting a boy about your age on the other side of the platform.

Yet this still doesn’t make sense. Why would the Fire Lord give a boy, who a guard could easily take, the time of day?

To top it all off, the boy seems just a shocked as you. “Please father, I only had the Fire Nations interests at heart. I’m sorry I spoke out of turn!”

Unaffected by his son’s words, the Fire Lord continues to move towards him. “You will fight for your honour.”

As you watch the Fire Nation Prince kneel before his father on the floor, the thought of leaving completely escapes your mind. You knew this was beyond wrong. Even after killing so many, you knew that no innocent child should have to fight for their honour. Especially since you already knew how trivial something like honour was considering how fast you lost yours in order to survive. He shouldn’t have to lose his. Not like this.

“I meant no disrespect. I am your loyal son.”

He continues to walk towards his son. “Rise and fight Prince Zuko!”

The fire inside you rises, almost like it wants to burst out of the traditional top knot on your head. This shouldn’t be happening, you had killed the general to apparently protect the prince, and titles be damned, you couldn’t bring yourself to walk out of that stupid door.

As Zuko places his arms in front of him on the floor, you knew he had no chance. “I won’t fight you!”

Slowly, and almost subconsciously you walk towards the platform as Zemin’s words ring in the back of your mind “…kill the general and get out by midday, or else whoever is on the other side of that Agni Kai will most likely die.”

You almost wanted to let out a painful laugh because it seems you killed the general for no reason at this point.

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher!” Zuko’s tear sicken  face looked up to his father as if it’s his one last attempt, begging for mercy. You know it’s not enough.

“You are their only hope”

With your heart in your throat, almost feeling your body shake with fear, determination, and adrenaline all rolled into one, you leap onto the platform in front of the Prince’s body as the Fire Lord strikes. Feeling the unbearable heat of his fire on the left side of your body from your neck all the way down to your hip, you let out a scream. Soon enough, you hear Zuko’s join yours.

You want to collapse and cry all at the same time. Partially because of the pain, and partially because Zuko’s scream is the only indicator that you’re failing because he’s getting burnt too. Your mind spins as you feel yourself losing all sense of reality. Wishing the spirits would help you save a person’s life rather than taking one.

After what feels like a lifetime, it stops. Your body shaking as if its still on fire, you fall to your knees feeling paralysed. Your ears are ringing, yet you still hear a soft voice from behind you. “W-who are you?”

You sigh in relief. He’s going to be okay. Yet the moment of relief is gone as soon as it came. The Fire Lord’s voice suddenly controls the room once again. “Someone take away the traitor who dares interfere with the Agni Kai!”

Well fuck.

[angelicmichael]

Is This Love?

Xavier Plympton x serial killer! reader

Summary: Reader is looking for her next victim but stumbles across Xavier, which changes everything.

Warnings: Smoking weed, not a lot of violence but it definetly talks about death and killing A LOT like not really in detail but just be careful when reading, no smut but a extremly steamy makeout scene happens, and sex is also mentioned I think once but it’s kept pretty vague.

Words: 5.5k+

A/N: First of all, sorry this is so fucking long lmao also I’m sorry this took me so long to write!! This fic was heavily inspired by the songs ‘Is this love’? By whitesnake and the music video ‘Your Body’ by Christina Aguilera. I love true crime so trying to write from a serial killers perspective was actually pretty hard but fun!! This fic was originally ALOT darker but I basically turned it to be really fluffy instead and I added some humor so enjoy :) please let me know if you wanna be on my tag list!!! This fic is also about to be posted on my AO3 if y’all are interested. Okay bye ♥️

Next Chapter

You had a itch but it wasn’t the kind that could be relieved by scratching. It more of a urge, a need, something you had to do..

You needed to kill.

And it had to be soon. This urge, this feeling wasn’t anything new to you. Ever since your last kill which was about a month ago, you could feel the urge building up stronger and stronger until now.. and you couldn’t suppress this urge any longer without literally losing your mind.

However you couldn’t just kill anyone. You needed the perfect victim, someone who was beautiful. Someone who had facial features that looked like they hand carved by god himself. Your victim also couldn’t be a random lowlife nobody. That would never do. That was the thrill of it for you, it had to be a risk - someone who would be missed if they were gone. You knew it was risky but you didn’t care - easy victims were boring. Simple as that.

However, today you had signed yourself up for a jazzercise class to of course work on your figure but more importantly to find your next victim. It’s not like you were gonna find your next target at a grocery store, and you didn’t want to make the mistake of killing a celebrity. Celebrities seemed to infest California like god damn cockroaches, and you knew if you killed one there would be a man hunt for you. That would also be a easy way to get on the FBIs most wanted list.. no thank you.

So that’s why you were here you were for another jazzercise class.

They were perfect for victim hunting, you had spotted many of your precious victims through jazzercise classes. You knew you were a couple minutes late for today’s class but you wouldn’t let that stop you - if anything it was good because it would draw attention to yourself and let your potential victims notice you first.

You quickly paced into the building and it was easy to tell the class had already started. You could hear the music blaring from outside, that grew increasingly louder as you approached the room. You wore your hair down - dancing with your hair down made it about 100x easier to seduce just about anyone you set your eyes on. You also sported a extra tight outfit that showed off all the right parts of your body.. You were going to find your dream victim today. You just knew it.

You carelessly threw your bag you carried with you outside of the dance room before entering, you were already pretty fucking late. You really didn’t have any time to spare to drop it off at the locker room, and plus, you were always here taking various dance classes here so it’s not like the workers didn’t know you. You ripped open the door that lead into the room where your class would be held and quickly threw yourself into the room.

“Sorry”!

You half whispered as you nearly ran past the instructor and found a empty spot in the room. When you turned around you noticed the instructor gave you a quick wink and you couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was. He had frizzy blond hair, eyes so blue you could nearly drown in them and a beyond perfect body. He looked like a fucking ken doll. You knew it right then, he had to be yours. He was perfect.. too perfect.

You could barely contain yourself from grinning or jumping with joy at being able to locate your next victim so easily but you instead channeled your energy into your dance moves. Even if you couldn’t talk to him quite yet, you might as well impress him with your moves.. right?

It must’ve been working because throughout the entire class Xavier kept his eyes mostly on you, in fact it was a wonder if he looked anywhere else in the room.

~

Even though you were covered in sweat by the time the class was over, and in a desperate need of a shower, you still made sure you were the last one in the room.. And finding ways to stall and not look suspicious was embarrassingly difficult.

You left your bag outside of the room so the only thing you could do was drink your water painfully slow and look busy..

You were so preoccupied with trying to keep the illusion up of looking busy that you didn’t even notice that everyone else besides you had filed out of the room. You also didn’t notice that your hottie instructor was approaching you until you felt a light hand on your shoulder..

You jumped about a foot in the air - effectively spilling all of the water from your water bottle onto you. You let out a sharp screech as well.. and immeaditly felt the embarrassment start to course through your body as if someone injected you with some kind of ‘instant embarrassment iv’ or some shit. You felt the blood start to rush to your cheeks as you could only think of how stupid you probably looked.. your body was starting to sweat again as well, you didn’t even know you had anymore sweat left in you after that class.

‘So much for catching the perfect victim’.

You thought cynically. You could feel the frustration starting to manifest inside you as well, frustration from the lack of killing and the fact that you were now soaking wet. And cold, very fucking cold.

You kind of just stood there as you threw your (plastic) water bottle onto the ground and glared at the man who was in front of you.

“I am so sorry, are you okay”?

He asked. The ruthless and stoic expression you wore seemed to melt away quickly after you heard his words and even looked at his face. His words and concern seemed so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel bad for even glaring at the poor guy about two seconds ago. Even just by looking at him, you could tell he actually felt bad for what had happened. However, no sweet he looked, the frustration and the lust that you still felt to claim another life still lingered within you.

You also couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was up close. Typically people who looked beautiful from far away showed some flaws when they were looked at up close but you swear this man had absolutely no flaws. His skin was perfect, his hair, his eyes - and his lips looked so deliciously soft. How was this man even real?

You blinked a couple times and licked your lips as you realized that he was still waiting for a reply from you. Duh.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I could use a towel though”.

You giggled as you looked back down at your wet clothes and your wet self with shame.

“Oh yeah, of course! Towels are back here”.

He led you out of the dance studio and across the building, it wasn’t too far of a walk. On the walk over to get towels you two ran into a couple of people he knew, you assumed his close friends or maybe coworkers? It was hard to tell at a first glance. You didn’t stop to talk but just wave.. and you assumed they were his close friends by how they were all looking at you. They all seemed to look you up and down and one even gave you a wink. You assumed that this guy didn’t talk to many women.. and maybe this was why his friends seemed so excited to see you with him? Oh fuck, could he be gay?

Oh fuck.

You knew this whole thing was too good to be true. You would still be able to kill him if he was gay of course, being gay did not give someone a out of jail free card when it came to being murdered but seduction would be out of the equation for sure - and the whole act of seducing your victims before death was your favorite part.

Typically what you did to your victims was lead them on and make them think you were going to have sex with them - and then right before either of you would take your clothes off you would slit their throat with the knife you kept on you. That same knife was even in your bag right now but if this guy was really gay, your previous plan to end this guy would be a no go. You would have to get creative with this one.. or just give up entirely.

You were brought back into reality when you realized he was trying to lead you into a locker room, a men’s locker room to be specific. He stood in the doorway, gesturing for you to come inside but you hesitated. You bit your lip and contamplaited.. a quick look over your shoulder showed you that his friend group was nowhere in sight and either was anyone else really. No one would see you.

You grinned as you quickly turned your attention back to the man in front of you and followed him inside the locker room. You quickly observed that the locker room was completely vacant execpt for you two, thank god.

“So do I get to know your name”?

You said, still keeping a sweet smile on your face.

“Only if I get to know yours”.

He said, also sporting a small smile as he tossed you a cream colored towel that you catched.

“(y/n)”.

You replied.

“Xavier”.

“Makes sense that someone as pretty as you would have a pretty name to match”.

You said with a smirk, and you noticed how Xavier softly laughed and how his cheeks dusted a light pink color. He almost looked like he was embarrassed, it was fucking adorable really. You did a quick double take around the room to make sure you two were truly alone before you made your next move.

“There’s no cameras in here right”?

You asked, your fingers delicately holding the hem of your shirt. Xavier took a couple steps toward you, getting closer.

“No. There’s not babe”.

He said, he seemed to be studying you now - waiting for your next move. Maybe you were just imagining it but you swear you could just see a glint of lust in his eyes. You figured the fastest way to see if he was really gay or not would be to take your shirt off - his reaction would quickly tell you.

You took your other hand and hooked your fingers under your wet shirt and quickly pulled it off in one quick swipe, leaving you exposed in your bra. You dropped your shirt behind you on the floor, the wet noise it made as it hit the floor seemed to echo throughout the bare locker room. You gently put the towel Xavier gave you on the bench that was right next to you, judging by where things were going - you wouldn’t need the towel anymore.

“If I knew you were gonna take me here I wouldn’t have asked you for a towel, you know”.

You said, nearly whispering because he was so close now. You took a step closer to him, your faces only a couple inches a part now. You left your lips parted and you looked into his eyes.. and that was a fucking mistake. All of the common sense you were holding onto left and all thoughts you previously had seemed to thin out and dissolve into nothing.

You could taste his breath now he was so close. All it took was for him to put his hands on your waist and you gave in. You closed the distance that kept you two apart and you kissed him. Hard.

This was breaking one of your major rules that you kept for yourself as a serial killer. You tried to always make your victim make the first move - to kiss you first. This seemed to keep them on their toes and wanting more, and it kept you in control. However, being here with Xavier, all senseable thoughts you once had were long fucking gone. Right now, you didn’t care about anything else execpt for kissing him. Everything else seemed irrelevant, you just wanted to live in this moment forever.

The kiss started off sweet but it continued to grow more heated as you kissed him harder and harder. Your hands wasted no time in finding his shoulders as your nails started to dig into his skin. You impatiently bit his lower lip - wanting more.

You felt Xavier softly break away from you, but he didn’t move away too far from you, his face moved over to whisper in your ear,

“Jump”.

You instantly jumped and you felt him catch your legs, essentially holding you up as he continued to keep kissing you. You felt him take a couple steps and in this moment you didn’t care where he was even going too - you just.. felt different. Maybe it was a new emotion, but you felt peaceful for once in your life. And it felt way too fucking good to let go of. Not to mention you were beyond happy he wasn’t gay like how you suspected.. but it wasn’t your fault that you knew zero straight guys that instructeted jazzercise classes or wore short shorts and actually looked good doing it.

However.. You also felt something else and that was unprepared. It was clear to see where this makeout sesh was really headed too and your knife which was in your bag, was no where near you. In fact you had no fucking clue where it was which meant you couldn’t kill him now, you would have to ask him out.

You felt Xavier gently put you down on the ground, you could feel the rough surface of lockers poking up against your back. You were on the verge of mentioning how uncomfterable you were when you heard a deafening loud creak echo throughout the locker room. Someone was opening the fucking locker room door. Fuck!

You felt a jolt of anxiety run through you like electricity as you two instantly seperated, and tried to look as innocent as possible. You wiped your mouth and you and Xavier both stood up before you actually bothered to look who came into the locker room in the first place.

“Hey love birds”!

You heard a chirp, female

Voice. You couldn’t help but laugh- was it common for girls to just waltz in the men’s locker room? When she walked forward and came into view, You easily recognized her as one of the people from Xaviers friend group that was waving at you two ealier... In fact, she was the one who winked at you ealier as well.

“Nice to see you too ‘Tana”.

Xavier grumbled back, after he swiftly rolled his eyes. You assumed ‘Tana was short for Montana and she certainly looked like a interesting character.. espically if she frequently went into men’s restrooms. Her hair was a white bleached blonde - so bleached that her hair looked entirely stripped and dryer than the god damn Sahara desert. She had heavy blue eyeshadow on her eyelids and you couldn’t help but admire that she atleast tried to put a effort in her appearance.

Montana stood right next to Xavier and it was obvious to tell by the looks they exchanged that she wanted to talk to him - alone. She awkwardly shifted glances between you and Xavier and you bit your tongue, the realization hitting you like a freight train - what if this was his fucking girlfriend? Normally with victims you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops but Xavier was different. Something about him was very different from the rest of your victims but you were still trying to put your finger on exactly why. You cleared your throat and figured before you left like they wanted you too, you should atleast introduce yourself.

“Hi, I’m (y/n)”.

You said, sporting a smile as you took a step forward toward Montana to shake her hand. She took it and shook it a bit too roughly and spotted a grin that would even make the Cheshire Cat jealous.

“I’m Montana! It’s nice to finally know the name of one Xavier’s girlfriends”.

She said with a excited look on her face. You quickly opened your mouth to speak - this girl was pretty straight forward wasn’t she? Atleast you knew she wasn’t dating Xavier.

“Oh - im not his girlfriend, we actually just met but you know.. I wouldn’t mind changing that”.

You said, adding a playful wink and biting your lip while staring instensily at Xavier. You knew you were being incredibly straight forward as well but at this point you didnt care, you just wanted to see him again.

Xavier finally stopped looking at Montana and met your gaze as he took a couple steps toward you.

“Me too, babe. My place tonight at six? I’ll pick you up”.

Xavier said and you quickly gave him your address and awkwardly left the locker room with Montana’s stare burning holes through your back. Maybe she was just jealous?

It didn’t matter, after tonight Xavier wouldn’t exsist anyway so who even cared what this supposed friend of his thought of you... but. Something weird was happening to you. The thought of actually killing again made you happy - yes. Just the act of taking another’s life and seeing them suffer but having it be Xavier? You barely knew the guy but it almost made you sad to not be able to see him again after tonight. He really did seem like a sweet guy with good intentions but that never seemed to stop you before.

You went back to the lobby and quickly picked up your bag that you had left there (albeit carelessly) and you figured tonight you would bring your knife just in case. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to kill him tonight - the vibe felt off. Plus, since when had you been on a actual date that didn’t involve murder at the end?? The answer was never. You deserved to have a nice date, with a pretty person. Murder could wait until tommorow.

~

Montana and Xavier both stared at

you as you passed them, and watched as you left the locker room. However, they both held their breath until the locker room door completely shut close. Montana snapped her head forward once the door shut and decided to be the one who first spoke.

“Xavier, that person is not to be trusted”.

Montana took a couple steps toward him as she spoke. Xavier immeaditly furrowed his eyebrows in a look of confusion, he could feel himself automatically getting defensive. He loved Montana (as a friend of course) but he swore Montana took that love in a different way.. And this made it obvious. He just met you, why was Montana already investigating into you and making wild accusations? This made no sense unless perhaps Montana had feelings again for Xavier.

However Xavier merely crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“That’s funny coming from you”.

However, Montana didn’t laugh or even smile. She continued to look completely serious, as she spoke.

“I’m not kidding. I don’t care if shes pretty or a good kisser or whatever the hell. You need to promise me you won’t see them tonight like you said”.

Her voice first started out as harsh and then grew soft and almost vulnerable.

Xavier shifted in place and nervously licked his lips.

“Montana what the hell. I’m not just gonna blindly follow what you say”.

Xavier said, his words spitting venom as he spoke. At this point he really didn’t care if he was coming out as harsh - Montana had a boyfriend.. why couldn’t she just leave Xavier alone with this new girl he just met?

Montana stepped closer to Xavier and put both of her hands of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

“You need to listen to me Xavier or your going to get yourself killed”.

Montana’s cherry red lips turned into a snarl.

“I saw their bag in the lobby and there was a knife in it. It was a fucking big knife Xav, no one just carries a knife like that”.

Montana added but Xavier was still in denial. Xavier looked at the ground as he slightly paced back and forth in place.

“How big of a knife”?

Xavier asked quietly.

“Its a fucking butchers knife. I wouldn’t be worried if it was a pocket knife, Xavier”!

Montana replied and Xavier kind of froze. He didn’t know how to react, he knew all of the men that had gone missing as of lately. And he also knew that they were all around the same age and had the same appearance that he had. Could he really be the next victim? He felt tears start to prick at his eyes, there was no way. This girl he had met ealier was so sweet, just because she had a knife didn’t mean she was a fucking killer.. right?

All that Xavier could think to do in response to this was to look up at Montana sadly.

“Why were you going through their bag in the first place”?

Xavier asked, his voice coming out as jagged and rough with emotion. However, Montana still continued to act stoic as she nearly yelled at him.

“You nearly hooked up with a fucking serial killer and your concerned about my priorities? Dude, you need to promise me you won’t see them again”.

Xavier stared at Montana blankly. It was obvious what this was about, he knew Montana really found no knife and he also knew Montana made up this whole story because she was jealous. That was it. Montana just didn’t wanna see Xavier with anyone else, that was the bottom line.. Xavier rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Montana. I have another class to get too”.

He could hear Montana protesting and yelling his name as he walked past her but he didn’t care anymore. He was determined - he was going to meet you tonight at six, whether it killed him or not.

He had to admit to himself though, even though he was excited to see you again a part of him dreaded it. He knew there was a small chance that Montana could be right - and what if she was?

Even though Xavier knew he was in pretty good shape he knew his muscles magically became useless when it came to self defense. He was shit at self defense honestly. He was good at archery but he didn’t own a fucking bow and arrow.

He made a mental note to pick up a pocket knife before coming to pick you up. If you really were a fucking killer a pocket knife wasn’t going to stop you but it was sure better than nothing.

~

Six O’ Clock came and went and Xavier picked you up in the glamourus Vanta-C. Being in a van that smelled heavily of weed and nothing else wasn’t too exciting but somehow Xavier made it fun, like how he did with everything it seemed like.

He had a sort of magic about him, the type of magic that made you actually start to feel things for once - feel different emotions that you had never felt before. Like would you even dare say it, love? Well, maybe love was a bit of a exaggeration - you just met the guy after all - but, you had no idea honestly.. you had nothing else to base this off of, you’ve never really had a crush or romantic interest on anyone before ever. The interest you’ve had in your other previous victims was always based off of looks - it was the thrill of the chase that appealed to you more than anything. However, you couldn’t say that about Xavier. After meeting him ealier - you were dying to get to know him better so that you could probably fall in love with him, if you were even capable of doing that.

Maybe it was foolish to assume that Xavier would be taking you back to his apartment, or house, or wherever the hell he lived but he didn’t. You two stayed in the Vanta-C which he drove and parked it in a park that was a couple blocks or so away from where you resided.

It took you two a while to decide on a decent place to park the car and go to - at first it was a matter of where to go. Whether to go and get food, or head over to someone’s place or just stay in the Vanta and obviously the last option won.

You had to admit the scene you two were in was starting to get rather romantic - not that you experienced this type of feeling before but rather You based this feeling off of movies and other various entertainment you’ve watched; this is what romance seemed like to you.

The sun was just starting to set; painting the sky a various different tones of purples, blues and pinks as the sun started to dip further and further into the tree line. You and Xavier both ditched the front and the passenger seat and both camped out in the very back of the van - where the seat was really more of a glorified couch than a actual seat.

The windows were all shut and so were the doors, essentially so that you two could hotbox. You never thought that a pretty boy like Xav would smoke weed, but you also thought he was gay at first so - you found it best not to assume anything about him anymore.

There was plenty of room left on the back seat but you and Xavier chose to sit incredibly close to eachother. You sat side by side and your shoulder and arms touched but you didn’t mind of course. The closer the better.

Your bag was pooled near your feet, near the door which was away from Xavier. Sure enough, the knife was inside but it was hidden under a couple of other objects that you kept in your bag. The longer you spent with him, the more you were regretting bringing the knife in the first place.. because it was making you fucking neurotic. When he first picked you up, all you could think about and focus on was that god damn knife and how it would end up slitting Xavier’s throat by the end of the night. However, you seemed to be more relaxed the longer you were around him. It was hard to tell whether it was just the vibes he gave off or the weed that relaxed you so much; maybe both.

By now, the thoughts of killing and that stupid knife had become lost and put somewhere far off in your brain - somewhere you couldn’t access when you were high. You barely even noticed you were Intensely staring down your bag until you felt a soft hand gently rub down your arm.

“Hey babe, are you okay”?

You looked back up at Xavier to only see him wearing a puzzled expression of his face - which looked adorable with his blue puppy dog eyes. You also noticed in his other hand (that wasn’t still on your arm) was the blunt you two were smoking - oops.

“Yeah, I’m okay”.

You replied, your voice small and rather quiet. You took the blunt from Xavier and took a deep hit, and sat with the smoke in your lungs for a couple seconds. It wasn’t until you felt the smoke burning and eating away at your lungs and throat was when you exhaled. You exhaled slowly, dreamily watching the smoke cloud up the Vanta-C even more so than it already was.

Before you even knew it, or consciously decided to - you heard yourself talking.

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.. I have something to tell you”.

You swallowed and took one last quick hit before handing the blunt back to your new lover and looking him in the eyes. You saw something in his eyes that was new to you - was it fear? Why he was he scared?? It was only a glimmer of fear that you caught in his eyes but still - it defintly threw you off guard. You just saw his lips part like he was about to say something when you quickly spoke first.

“Xavier, I’m crazy about you”.

You blurted out, with a embarrassing giggle. You blamed being incredibly straight forward on the weed, of course you would never be like this if you were sober. Never.

Your lips closed into a closed mouth smile, you had more to say but you figured to wait for some kind of reaction from Xavier first. The glimmer of fear you saw in his eye ealier seemed to morph into confusion, disbelief, and then happiness. Pure happiness.

“What”?

He laughed.

“You heard me! I know I just met you, but Xav’ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. and I mean it”.

Xavier gently placed his hands on your face - on both of your cheeks - before deeply kissing you. You placed your hands on his chest which effectively made him start to lay down while you gently maneuvered your way on top of him so that you two would be laying down on the long back seat of his van.

You moved your leg up to straddle him when you felt your foot snag on something. At first you merely tried to pull it away free but to no avail. Xavier broke away from you since he could feel you moving your leg vigorously and you managed to get your leg free with one big final yank of your leg.

You snapped your head to see what the fuck dared make this gorgeous man stop kissing you when your heart stopped - it was your bag. You must’ve hooked your foot around your bag and when you freed your foot you managed to topple the bag and spill out all of the contents... which meant your butchers knife was on full fucking display for Xavier to see.

FUCK.

You felt your breath stop as the world seemed to come to a stand still. You felt frozen, bewildered and caught off guard but you definetly didn’t feel scared. You moved your leg over awkwardly to straddle him but the vibe had defintly changed. The romantic vibes that seemed in the air ealier had been swept clean and nearly were completly gone. You decided to try and save your ass and be the first to speak.

“Xavier I-“

“Get off of me”.

He spoke softly and his voice was lowered. You took a deep breath as you awkwardly climbed off of him and you two sat in the position that you two were in ealier - side by side execpt you two were farther apart this time.

You tried again to explain yourself but Xavier spoke first.

“What the hell is this? W-why did you bring that knife”?

You noted how his eyes started to have tears building up in them. You absentmindedly moved the knife back into your bag with your foot and noticed how badly Xavier flinched away from you when you did so. Your turned your focus back to Xavier.

“Look, I know it looks bad but I just keep it on me for self defense. You know, with the night stalker and all”?

You said, with a slight giggle. Instantly, the tension that built up was broken and it was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He laughed and he scooted up the seat to get closer to you - stepping on all of items from your bag that were still on the ground but you didn’t really care. You were just happy you were able to pull off that lie and convince him you were someone else you really weren’t.

A thought crossed the back of your mind of how easy it would really be to just reach down and grab the knife and easily slit his throat. It would be almost too easy, but no.

As Xavier pulled you into his arms and you layed down into the rough fabric of the back seat, you felt safe (which was incredibly ironic). You felt at home, and in love.

As you turned your head to continue where you two had left off at the locker room, you couldn’t help but hazily day dream about tommorow.

Just because Xavier’s life was spared didn’t mean your thirst or your itch to take another’s life was gone.. it just meant it would have to wait until tommorow.

Taglist: @guiltyfiend

[silverypurple-rosedlions]

I love the Chapter Unlocks and reading Seokmin's Chapter- Chapter Two? OFBEJFH I cried- But these are incredible! How did you come up with the three known/unlocked Chapters? (Jeonghan's Chapter One, and Seokmin's Chapter One and Two)

Admin Moon: Ah, this is an interesting question! Buckle up everyone, because this might be a long one, haha . . . Like, a reaaally long one.

Countless things inspired me to make everyone's chapters: music, research I've gone through related to mental illnesses and physical illnesses, little scenarios I've dealt with in real life, scenes, movies, and fanfictions, and the list goes on. Sometimes, images and gifs help me, allowing me to paint the main picture of each chapter that correlates to the member. Let's use Seokmin's Chapter Unlock, Chapter Two - Intoxicated, as an example.

With Seokmin's Chapter originally, I had no plan for him to be involved with drugs. That would apply to one member and one member only. The original idea for him involved a breaking point he would need to face, forcefully, seen within the chapter where Seokmin would lose control and attack viciously, to defend himself. But what would trigger him wasn't drugs. Instead, it was going to be a moment in his life when it was his family that triggered it. Fortunately, and I mean it, it was scratched off, and I revised the entire chapter, changing it to what is known now.

It converts to drugs because it's inspired by Billie Eilish's song, Xanny. It's referenced when Seokmin says that "Xanny" was used as another name for the drug, Xanax. If you listen to the song, certain lines within it are in the chapter. The chorus in Xanny is:

"I'm in their secondhand smoke, Still just drinking canned Coke, I don't need a Xanny to feel better, On designated drives home, Only one who's not stoned, Don't give me a Xanny, now or ever,"

Immediately, you can look back and see that this was portrayed in his chapter. Seokmin was around people smoking, taking drugs, and drinking while he's there, "sitting just drinking canned coke." Then in the chapter, Seokmin wants to go home and requests Mimi to take him home, a person "designated" to bring them home as she is the only one among the two with a driver's license. And of course, Seokmin is the "only one who's not stoned," and refuses to take a Xanny, saying that he doesn't want it and never will. This lyric is obvious, "Don't give me a Xanny, now or ever."

Just like in Seokmin's Chapter, a section in his life where he refuses taking drugs and alcohol, Billie Eilish's song also talks about refusing Xanax and telling people to avoid drugs. Period.

Now, not everything from the song is the same, word for word, within his chapter, such as the lyric mentioning kissing. That's not in his chapter, nor is it mentioned when he blacks out, attacking viciously (this is towards one specific friend of mine who misunderstood-).

Another good example is the first verse of Xanny:

"What is it about them? I must be missing something, They just keep doing nothing, Too intoxicated to be scared, Better off without them, They're nothing but unstable, Bring ashtrays to the table, And that's about the only thing they share,"

In Seokmin's Chapter, although it's not a long part, he questions why is it fun and games to them and so on, "What is it about them? I must be missing something." He goes on to explain why they're taking this, which is depression and anxiety, leading them to be "too intoxicated to be scared," and then wants nothing to do with them, "Better off without them, they're nothing but unstable," And of course, when Mimi is sharing a cigarette. It's clear, "Bring ashtrays to the table, and that's about the only thing they share,"

Not only this, but I wanted Seokmin to have this different and darker backstory that contrasts with his bright and energetic personality. It is a little of a cliche, to be honest. However, I wanted his backstory to be the reason why he's the way he is now, just like any of the bots I have. I want his backstory to be the reason he wants to be a bright and chirpy person, someone who likes to portray a happy but unsettling aura. Aside from three, perhaps more, bots, Seokmin is a very complex person. He likes to surprise people, keeping his deepest mysteries and thoughts to himself but is willing to expose them if asked to, or he wants to on the spot. He will play the part of being innocent and naive, he'll be reckless and excessive, and just about anything as long as it throws people off of who he is, using that to his advantage.

Now, Jeonghan's a challenge to explain since there's only one Chapter Unlock so far. And if I am not too careful, I may accidentally give hints of what his chapters will possibly be. However, Jeonghan is the MOST complicated here, and that may just be my opinion. But when going through his entire story, he was beyond difficult. Various research and videos watched, I had to study body movements, reactions, and so on that would fit for him, and even had assistance from a small group of friends. There are about a million things that inspired this backstory for him and how he is now.

For example, let's dive into Jeonghan's Chapter Unlock. It's shorter compared to Seokmin's, but that's on purpose. I usually like to make them reasonably lengthy, being able to give the reader themselves more of an experience that this person is facing. But for this, because Jeonghan has a different spectrum, I had to limit myself.

When reading his Chapter Unlock, he's allowing you to enter into this world he sees in his head. You, the reader, are presented this image of his mind, this "labyrinth," he's in and always has been. It's excruciatingly long and deceitful, the exit is nowhere to be seen, the stairs spiral from one space to another, and he's the target for this big, looming door of what is his insanity. The rose door is what opens him to a new headspace, throwing away the morals he knew, and creates an entirely new person who casts a shadow to his younger self that was too damaged to continue. When opening this door, this is the exit. It's an exit from the person he used to be and builds himself anew with shattered pieces of who he was, forging someone deadly.

For now, let's focus on this: Labyrinth. Surprisingly, there is no other thing that inspired this idea but three main things. One is the vast majority of songs. It is insane how many songs I have listened to that were included for him, and not just this one chapter, but for him in general. For this chapter, it's scattered pieces of songs: Psycho by Byun Baekhyun, Twisted by MISSIO, I'm Gonna Show You Crazy by Bebe Rexha, Angry Too by Lola Blanc, Hey Little Girl by Sophiemarie.b, and small traces of Broken by Lund. If you look at each song, you may be able to find similarities that correlate to them, but not entirely. Second, the idea of this labyrinth was inspired by, dare I say, Labyrinth and Pan's Labyrinth.

NOW HOLD ON!

I know that's the craziest thing I would get that idea from those two movies. Now, I didn't watch Pan's Labyrinth till late this 2020, but it was just one word, and I swear to God it is. "Labyrinth." That's it. I know it's ridiculous, but I'm dead serious that I thought of creating a labyrinth from the title name. Then there's the movie, Labyrinth, made in 1986. I watched that when I was little, maybe seven years ago, and I was always fascinated with the scene where the girl, Sarah, is in this labyrinth to save her baby brother. Sarah is in this bizarre area, face to face with the Goblin King, running in all directions with stairs everywhere. She runs, and she's suddenly upside down, she continues, and suddenly she's on the right side of the wall, so on so on. The stairs are placed upside down, and so on. It was that illusion that I thought I should add within his mind that's a complicated maze, containing fragments of memories and delusions created from stress.

Lastly, the third is me. I'll admit right now that Jeonghan was originally an outlet for me, someone I related to personality-wise, and then took it from there. This labyrinth idea is also a replication of my headspace before I got better (Quick heads-up: This entire idea for them was made a year ago, back in late October or so). I used what I saw of my headspace, changed it, altering it to what would become Jeonghan's headspace, but bigger and more complex than mine.

With all of this, images such as places, the people themselves, and other such things are what drives this. Aside from me as a writer, a person who absolutely loves writing, without these things, this wouldn't exist.

Admin Moon: So, I hope this answers your question, anon!

🥀// @yourlocal-babybear @aikihades @sophie-svt-13 @waitingwhispers60 @seventeen-chatbot @kpop-shelter @yangomangos @m00n-nim96 @ghoulxbaekhyun @moonlit-jaemin @empress-jiaqi @time-for-confession @xash-axx @fnafnctdream-chatbot @split-jiu @artsydahyun @softdommechungha @princess-yeji @werewolf-sehun @julia-oc [DM for +/-]

[writing-prompts-for-friends]

Notes from Stephen King’s “On Writing” 05: Description, Dialogue, Creating Characters

Description

"Description begins in the writer's imagination, but should finish in the reader's."

We all know that too much description robs the reader of their imagination and bores them, yet too little description leaves them confused and scratching their heads. So how can we strike a middle ground with confidence?

"Good description is a learned skill, one of the prime reasons why you cannot succeed unless you read a lot and write a lot. It's not just a question of how to, you see; it's also a question of how much to. Reading will help you answer how much, and only reams of writing will help you with the how. You can learn only by doing."

King says that he personally doesn't like to provide detailed descriptions of how his characters look. He would rather have the reader supply their faces, builds, and clothing. To exemplify, he says:

"If I tell you that Carrie White is a high school outcast with a bad complexion and a fashion-victim wardrobe, I think you can do the rest, can't you? I don't need to give you a pimple-by-pimple, skirt-by-skirt rundown. We all remember one or more high school losers, after all; if I describe mine, it freezes out yours, and I lose a little bit of the bond of understand I want to forge between us. Description begins in the writer's imagination, but should finish in the reader's."

Maybe it's because now more than ever we are obsessed with visual media, be it TV or film or social media, but I personally feel a need to give detailed physical descriptions of my characters. Does anyone else feel the same? But what King said really made a lot of sense to me--by keeping the descriptions of the characters non-distinct, we allow the readers to fill in the gaps and make a character that is even more relatable to them. I think that's genius.

On the other hand, King feels that locale and texture are more important to the reader's sense of actually being in the story. Describe the region the story takes place in (but don't go full Tolkein on your readers, please). Paint a picture of the house and town in broad, distinct strokes.

"For me, good description usually consists of a few well-chosen details that will stand for everything else. In most cases, these details will be the first ones that come to mind. Certainly they will do for a start. If you decide later on that you'd like to change, add, or delete, you can do so--it's what rewrite was invented for. But I think you will find that, in most cases, your first visualized details will be the truest and best. It's as easy to overdescribe as it is to underdescribe. Probably easier."

So let's say that you want to use a certain real-life restaurant as the setting of a scene in your story. This is a restaurant that you have actually frequented. Now close your eyes and picture that place. What are the first 4-5 things that come to your mind? Could be how to looks or smells, what sort of clientele is usually there, anything. Take those 4-5 details and only use those to describe the place in your writing. Let the reader do the rest of the work.

"In many cases when a reader puts a story aside because it 'got boring,' the boredom arose because the writer grew enchanted with his powers of description and lost sight of his priority, which is to keep the ball rolling."

Oh man, I really agree with this. I quit reading LotR because I just couldn't force myself through another description of goddamn rivers and valleys.

On the Use of Similes

"When it's on target, a simile delights us in much the same way meeting an old friend in a crowd of strangers does."

When we compare two seemingly unrelated objects, we are sometimes able to see an old thing in a new and vivid way. But you have to make sure that the simile makes sense and isn't cliched. Don't use "he ran like a madman" or something. Come up with your own.

"The key to good description begins with clear seeing and ends with clear writing, the kind of writing that employs fresh images and simple vocabulary."

There are a lot of authors that do a great job describing things like king says, but there is one specific line from Neil Gaiman's Coraline that stands out to me. Coraline has just discovered the hallway that leads to the Other House, and the sentence describes the hall.

"It smelled like something very old and slow."

Simple vocabulary, yet very fresh. I love this sentence and its eeriness.

Dialogue

"It's dialogue that gives your cast their voices, and is crucial in defining their characters--only what people do tells us more about what they're like, and talk is sneaky: what people say often conveys their character to others in ways of which they--the speakers--are completely unaware."

You can explain through narration or backstory that a character didn't do well in school or didn't finish it, but you could also demonstrate that through dialogue. Conversely, you can show just how smart they are, or how honest/dishonest, lighthearted/serious they are through dialogue alone.

Have you ever read dialogue that makes you think, "Man, nobody talks like this!" because it feels so stilted or forced? I'm certain you have. So how can we prevent ourselves from crafting dialogue that feels inauthentic?

"Dialogue is a skill best learned by people who enjoy talking and listening to others--particularly listening."

Picking up the accents, rhythms, dialect, and slang of various groups helps give your writing a certain veracity that readers pick up on instinctually.

A Word on Political Correctness in Dialogue/Characters

"As with all other aspects of fiction, the key to writing good dialogue is honesty."

King says that not a week goes by that he doesn't get an angry letter accusing him of being foul-mouthed, bigoted, homophobic, murderous, frivolous, or downright psychopathic, and usually the people writing these letters are upset about certain lines of dialogue within his stories.

Sometimes you are going to have a character that holds unpleasant opinions and uses unpleasant words to get them across. That doesn't necessarily mean that what the character believes/says is what you believe. And, in my own opinion, I think it is important to have these non-pc characters in our stories. How can we combat ignorance if we do not draw attention to it? Sweeping it under the rug does nothing but prolong the problem.

So if a character is prone to swearing, don't substitute their expletives for words like "shoot" or "dang." Have them say "shit" or "damn." If a character is a homophobe, have them vocalize their sentiments if the scene deems it appropriate. Don't censor your characters.

Building Characters

"The job of building characters in fiction boils down to two things: paying attention to how the real people around you behave and then telling the truth about what you see."

Take note of the people around you. Many fictional characters are drawn piece by piece from people in real life. For King, what happens to his characters as the story progresses depends solely on what he discovers about them as he goes along. Sometimes their character grows only a little. But other times, their characters grow a so much that they influence the course of the story instead of the other way around.

"I think the best stories always end up being about people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven. Once you get beyond the short story, though (two to four thousand words, let's say), I'm not much of a believer in the so-called character study; I think in the end, the story should always be the boss."

Most readers want to see not only a progression in plot, but also in character development, so trying to have both of those is important.

"It's also important to remember that no one is 'the bad guy' or 'the best friend' or 'the whore with a heart of gold' in real life; in real life we each of us regard ourselves as the main character, the protagonist. If you can bring this attitude into your fiction, you may not find it easier to create brilliant characters, but it will be harder for you to create the sort of one-dimensional dopes that populate so much of pop fiction."

King goes on to explain how when he wrote Misery, a novel about a crazy nurse who holds her favorite author Paul Sheldon hostage in her remote house, he went to great lengths to give the reader a view of the nurse Annie Wilkes' perspective. To us, she seems psychopathic. But to her, she seems perfectly sane and reasonable.

"If I can make you understand her madness--then perhaps I can make her someone you sympathize with or even identify with. The result? She's more frightening than ever, because she's close to real. If, on the other hand, I turn her into a cackling old crone, she's just another pop-up bogeylady. In that case, I lose bigtime, and so does the reader. Who would want to visit with such a stale shrew? That version of Annie was old when The Wizard of Oz was in its first run."

What is really boils down to is making sure that each of your characters are three-dimensional within your own mind. As long as they feel like real people in your head, capable of making rational decisions and feeling rational emotion (as fits their unique nature), that should be able to be seen by the reader as the story unfolds.

On Creative Liberties

“Try any goddamn thing you like, no matter how boringly normal or outrageous. If it works, fine. If it doesn’t toss it. Toss it even if you love it. Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch once said, ‘Murder your darlings,’ and he was right.”

Write however you want. Use whatever techniques you want. Have fun with it. It’s yours before it is anybody else’s. And you can’t please all the readers all the time, but if you can come out happy with the end product, surely you can please some of the readers some of the time, and that is enough. 

Source: King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Hodder, 2012.

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 7x18 Dirty Girls

aka gotta have faith

We did it, guys! We made it to the last season! Also, hello if you’re new, and stumbled upon this without context. As usual, these impromptu text posts are the product of my fevered mind as I rant about the episode I just watched for an hour (okay, sometimes perhaps two). Anything goes!

And in today’s episode, our secondary villain is finally revealed made of pure misogyny, and Faith is here to make everything better.

So... Dirty Girls. We really are in the finish line of the season now.

This episode opens with two scenes that I’m not sure were intended to have the connection I made, but let’s do it anyway. In the first, we’re introduced to Caleb, a priest with extremely misogynistic views of women, who is revealed to be an agent of the First. And one who’s been pulling a lot of its strings in our world at that, like blowing up the council, or organizing the Bringers.

I guess Caleb hates humanity as a whole - he is aligning himself with the First after all -, but he directs pretty much all of that hatred onto women. He calls the Potential he picks up with his truck a ‘whore’ and ‘dirty’, and from his fantasies of his past, you get the idea that he specifically targeted young women using his authority, seduced them, and then turned it around and punished them for it.

Misogyny as a theme happens a lot on the show of course, Buffy fights the patriarchy after all. But when it comes to overt depictions of it, it’s often a bit… well, overt. You want to cheer Buffy for punching the douchebag in the face, but you’re also aware of how it’s an exaggeration of reality, made to get that fistbump reaction out of you.

And actually, that’s something that I think is worth re-examining too. A few years back, when the Supergirl TV show was about to premiere, there were a lot of discussions around this type of overt feminism. When I watched the pilot, I experienced some of these cringe moments myself. But, despite some of the many actual problems of the show and its feminism at the time, it also got me thinking.

Why? Why do I actually feel cringey about this?

And the answer that I found was that I was imagining watching the show from a perspective other than my own. Kind of like watching the 1992 Buffy movie back in the 90s with my brother made me hyperaware of its many faults, instead of giving me a chance to enjoy its culty ridiculousness.

So, while considering other perspectives can be essential in forming critical thought of your media, there’s a difference in trying to understand a minority perspective for instance, and feeling the need to put yourself in the shoes of the dominant culture, and base your opinions with that in mind.

But that’s a tangent inside a tangent.

Disregarding all that, imo the show’s most successful and impactful depictions of misogyny arguably come from characters who don’t always act like monsters. I actually like the bad guy from Reptile Boy for instance. He acts charming and nice to lure Buffy in, and only reveals his true nature, once he holds all the power.

Caleb in that sense then, is the show’s best and most horrifying example of that type of misogynistic evil.

(And yes, we could also talk about the Trio here, but trying to fold them in would be yet another tangent, and it’s time to talk about the actual episode at this point.)

Caleb says to the First that he doesn’t lie... but that’s a lie. He does lie. By wearing the symbol of authority, of someone you can confide in, he tells you that he can be trusted. And yes, there is very much a commentary here about the evil of religion and Catholicism, but the point being is that for someone in that community, Caleb’s appearance signals no threat. And Caleb uses that assumption to his advantage.

He only gradually reveals his true nature to Shannon at the beginning. First by calling her a whore. Because hat that point, he knows that he holds the power in their interaction and that he doesn’t need to pretend to be anything but the monster he is in order to lure her in. Shannon’s guard is down, and he knows that she can’t escape.

Caleb’s misogyny is disturbing because it’s still believable in all of its overtness. He does what he does because he knows that he can. He has the power, and that power reveals all of his deepest darkest thoughts with nothing to keep him in check.

And right after this scene, you get Xander’s dream. Where he dreams about two Potentials coming onto him in a threesome situation (and specifically with the two women also getting it on with each other in front of him, because I guess fetishizing lesbians is still a thing that Xander hasn’t internalized despite his best friend being one), while the rest of the girls are having some sexy pillow-fight in the other room.

So… I guess we’re pairing up scary misogyny with “”fun”” misogyny?

Of course, since this is a dream, we can argue that Xander can’t really be held responsible for it. We don’t have power over our dreams after all. It’s where our subconscious works through stuff, and that doesn’t reflect our persona wholly.

Except then the question still remains – why is this scene here? Why would someone write this scene in, especially in an episode full of these themes? When Xander wakes up, he’s immediately faced with the reality, where his role is to fix the toilets. It’s supposed to be funny. Look how powerless he actually is, compared to the girls.

But then he also gets the big speech moment in the very same episode, supporting Buffy, and then loses an eye to Caleb. How are these things connected? And if they’re not… why is that scene at the beginning there?

I mean, you could interpret Caleb removing one of Xander’s eyes as a punishment for Xander having these ‘urges’… Except Caleb’s comment before doing that doesn’t reference that. It references Xander’s speech from Potential, where he’s telling Dawn that he sees a lot by being underappreciated.

So, that’s probably not what they were going for. And it’s a stretch of an interpretation. In the end, there’s little to no reason for that scene to be there, and therefore I’m left with the impression, that the writers weren’t even aware of the misogynistic angle of Xander fetishizing all these young women in his dream. They just thought it was funny.

God, I wrote 1k workds already, and I haven’t even got to Buffy’s storyline in this.

This episode is setting up the pre-finale twist of everyone turning against Buffy, which I kinda hate. And that bleeds into my thoughts of Dirty Girls, unfortunately.

Like, I get it. Everyone kept telling Buffy that this was a trap, that it was a bad idea to bring the Potentials to confront Caleb without knowing more, and she ignored them. And that got a whole lot of them injured. At least two of them dead. It was a bad call.

On the other hand, didn’t Giles keep telling her in the last episode that she needed to make these hard decisions? That she needed to think big picture, and accept that there would be losses? And now, when he advises her against action, and she makes the damn ‘hard choice’ and ‘acts like a general’ I guess it’s still her fault, huh.

I swear, nothing Buffy ever does is good for these people. And maybe that’s the point we’re making, that leadership is lonely and hard and whatever the fuck, but I’m tired and I kinda hate it.

Buffy fucked up, yes. Okay. But instead of dealing with that, instead of having an honest conversation where we can explore these things, we just vaguely hint at how this is driving a wedge between her and the rest of the group.

Thanks, I hate it.

But hey, at least Faith’s here! The way Eliza Dushku delivers this line in particular is an absolute highlight:

SPIKE:  “Not all that tension was about you. Giles was a part of a plan to kill me. For Buffy's own good.” FAITH:  “Well, that makes me feel better about me… worse about Giles...kinda shaky about you.”

The show also addresses the fact that no one told Faith about what the fuck was going on. Which… is a bit of a problem, and paints each and every character on Buffy in a pretty bad light? Willow’s whole explanation about how, well, Faith was in prison and they thought she was safe there falls pretty flat (especially since Faith was in fact attacked in prison due to this), and the characters know it. More than anything, it just feels like they all forgot about Faith, and how this whole plan of the First to murder the Slayer line affects her.

And yet, to be honest, I couldn’t help but feel like it was the writers that actually forgot? Or at the very least, thought that it was inconvenient to share this information with Faith, before both shows came to a point where they could integrate her character into the story again?

Anyway, whoever you blame this on, it’s kinda bad.

Overall, Dirty Girls is still chilling and effective, and Faith is a breath of fresh air in this final stretch of the season. I’m just not a big fan of where we’re taking Buffy’s arc here before the big finale, and that shows.

Next up: Wine mom and vodka aunt fight over the kids’ love.

[miranema]

When you are still talking about a show you are too old for..

warning: it’s loooong (TL;DR section at the bottom)

Just to be clear I have no intention to look into and review any more Winx Club related content and it’s not just because the current environment is not conducive to this kind of endeavor. After I finished paying off my debts I considered getting back to this but eventually decided against it because some of my thoughts regarding this show have changed a little and I overall no longer see the point. One of the things I wanted to accomplish when I first started was to figure out why this show never appealed to me when it first came out on the FoxBox and well, the answer was very simple if not ridiculously obvious. This show was not made for me.

I was a few months short of 13 when the show premiered in the US and had just enough experience in the genre to have expectations, and this was the problem. When western magical girl series started to show up in the early 2000s, I expected shows that improved upon the standards and cliches left by the likes of Sailor Moon and its genre contemporaries, not just in terms of visuals but writing as well. Winx Club however, seemed more in line with the type of cartoons that (since the 80s) popped up every now and then as promotional material for emerging lines of fashion dolls generally targeting younger girls, with the only difference being that it had a progressive story-line. Even if you argue that Winx Club was not so merchandise-driven in its first seasons, contemporary fashion and aesthetics had always been the selling point. By then, shows that prioritized visual appeal over writing and seemed to exists primarily as toy commercials, were starting to lose my interest. I was also getting tired of certain staples like romantic relationships being bland but senselessly overemphasized and characters (specially protagonists) being archetypes with little to no complexity.  

As an adult, I since looked back at shows of similar quality/target audience and I have surprisingly been able to find joy within them leading me to another conclusion. It’s not that I am too old and weary to appreciate animated media aimed at young girls. It’s more likely that Winx Club is a sore spot for me because it is the show that made me realize (if subconsciously) that networks in charge of delivering animated media to mainstream television were no longer invested in appealing to me. As a non-white, lower-middle class girl who was never all that into relationship-melodrama I felt that most cartoons of my day didn’t really catered to my interest and I think I saw the rise of Winx Club as a bitter indication that even the animated genres that I liked or tolerated would eventually become completely inaccessible to me.

I had some trouble finding out what the target audience bracket was for the first season. From what I eventually gathered it is either 4-8 or 5-10, although apparently concept-wise the show was intended for a slightly older age group. I give more credence to the first bracket because honestly I think this show works best as baby’s first magical girl series. The less experience you have in the genre, the less fed-up with tropes and the less expectations you have going in, the better.

Lets just make a thing clear. There is no such thing as being too old to watch cartoons. An art medium is not inherently tied to an age group. Unfortunately, everything is at the mercy of capitalism, specially art produced for entertainment. There is a lot of stupidity and outdated ideas governing how mainstream shows are made and to whom they are made for. Industries don’t like to take chances and they are reluctant to change in accordance to society unless an increased in profits can be assured to some degree…

Look, look! I swear I was just going to post a simple paragraph-long note to whoever cared, stating I was not going to continue reviewing Winx Club even though I am no longer in debt. But, I made the HUGE mistake of looking at the Wikipedia page, specifically the part where they quoted show creator Iginio Straffi defending the controversial choices made for season 8, and here I am, annoyed and rambling. To paraphrase, he claims kids around 10 years and older just don’t watch cartoons as much as they used to (sure, Jan) and they just had to retooled their show for a younger demographic and that just means it cannot be as complex as it used to be. Yes, complex is a word he ascribed to the earlier Winx Club content (level of complexity to be clear). I rolled my eyes, I died a little inside and overall I also decided, among other things, to never read another Iginio Straffi interview ever again.

In an effort to wash away this BS and exorcise some demons let me throw here some of my still lingering unwarranted Winx Club thoughts in no particular sequence before this platform collapses any further:

Winx Club is one of if not the longest running western magical girl group series and its success is likely attributed to the fact that back when it premiered in the US, it was the only accessible and visually appealing series to come out of the genre since the beginning of the millennium. It practically had a monopoly of its intended audience. In my neck of the woods, it was available without the need of a cable/satellite subscription. In contrast, Dinsey-owned W.I.T.C.H. didn’t have that same accessibility and I don’t think I even need to bring up anime in general. The one other magical girl show from around the same time that I remembered coming across in syndicated broadcast was Trollz, and well you look that up and tell me how much staying power that looked like it had.

If the show has struggled in recent years is of course NOT because older kids don’t watch cartoons nowadays. Rather I think the show runners are not quite grasping how the circumstances surrounding their target audience have changed since the early 2000s. There are a lot more options out there in terms of entertainment even if you narrow things down to only western magical girl cartoons, not to mention that Winx club no longer has an edge on accessibility. I also think we consume media faster and that along with all the new options of entertainment means we have less head space to dedicate to one single show. Putting a new coat of paint to the newer seasons is simply not enough to remain relevant.

Adding to the above, It’s been well over ten years since the show first premiered. I don’t have data to prove this, but I am willing to bet that a sizable chunk of viewers were there from the beginning or joined at the start of the Nickelodeon era. It makes little sense for changes in writing to include hacking its continuity, rewriting established lore and deleting whatever meager character development they ever had. Maybe it’s not a good idea to turn your show with progressive storytelling including aging characters, into a cash cow you intend to milk for as long as you can and beyond. Maybe they should have given the early seasons a proper conclusion and laid the groundwork for new groups of characters to lead fresh series within the same universe...or you know, a full reboot.

I am not saying that the show should suddenly conform to my tastes (though that would be nice) after all it was not made for me. I just think that people that stuck with it deserve more than what they have been getting. I saw some positive feedback with regards to World of Winx but from what little I saw I don’t think it was good enough to be the series for older fans. Tone might be slightly different but writing-wise it feels more or less the same as the current series. The attempts at humor are still not landing for me at least. Also, how old does Straffi thinks the older fans are? 10? Who knows, maybe season 8 did its job in drawing-in the next gen, and maybe the planned live action series will be all that the older fans have been asking for. I do wish them the best.

Regarding things that I changed my mind about (though only a little bit)...In more than one occasion I referred to Bloom as a mary sue and this has been digging at me. Either the term has become toxic and too often unfairly assigned to any female character in a leading position, or it was always an improper way to discuss mediocre writing. There are main characters that are created in part to serve as vehicles of indulgence for its intended audience. I don’t think these these type of characters need to be complex to be successful or serviceable but I do think relatability and/or likability are indicators of whether or not a specific indulgent protagonist is effective. I didn’t find Bloom to be effective but she seems to be popular enough with the younger range of fans and that’s what matters. All I am saying is that Bloom could have easily been better and all it would have taken was for the writers to slightly lower the pedestal they put her on. Otherwise, they should have just stuck with the Magical Bloom title so no one would have delusions that the show would ever focus on anyone else.

I stand by most of my other major criticisms of the series. Though I admit that when I was looking at each episode I would spend an unreasonable amount of time on small things or personal pet peeves.I maintain however that to whom a show is intended for should not be a determinant of quality and there are things worth discussing even if one is not within the age-range of said audience. However, it’s not hard to tell what Winx Club is mostly about; it’s romance-centered. If you are not all that invested on that sort of stuff or you don’t like what the show is offering, then there is little point in sticking around because you are just going to get more and more caught-up on the flaws. The fantasy world elements while ambitious in scope are not well developed and consistency is an issue since the beginning that only gets worse as the series goes on. Unless you can subsist solely on the aesthetics and merch-friendly elements, I wouldn’t bother beyond the first movie.

If Winx Club had been the definitive blue print shaping the future of western magical girls shows, I would probably feel justified in making this much of a fuss. However, pretty much any other show I have seen after the fact has been a deviation and an improvement. I believe that’s because more content creators that grew up with the genre (and understood the many ways it could be improved) are finding opportunities to bring their appreciation for it into the mainstream. It’s pointless for me to still complain about the older stuff. Heck, I can even find good things to say about Angel’s Friends and this is definitely a cartoon that was shaped by the success of the fairy school show. 

Winx Club is fine, it has as much right to exist as any other piece of mindless entertainment aimed at any demographic.  And that’s that.

TL;DR

I am not reviewing Winx Club stuff anymore. I just had a lot of thoughts that were brought up by an annoying Iginio Straffi quote I saw on the Wiki page while I was working on that last post. Extended rambling is what I apparently do when I am mildly upset. I barfed all this out in the hopes that I won’t think about this show again anytime soon.

 If morbid curiosity gets the better of me, I might give future Winx Club content a watch. I just won’t post about it because it seems I am incapable of finding joy in it.

No, I don’t take criticisms of the bad spelling/grammar of my ramblings. Let this mess be. This is also not a place for debate, the only discourse I welcome here is whether or not relatability is a word. Online dictionaries say it’s fine but my word processor says it is not a thing. Discuss! (JK)

Stay safe,

[inkprintt]

the one that got away.

Word count: 2.5k

Genre: Mafia Au, lowkey angst but not really.

Members: Jaehyun, Haechan, Mark.

Warning(s): none really unless you don’t like swearing I’m pretty sure there’s a swear word or two.

Authors note: Just beware of my writing, I’ve never written an au before and I’m not really sure how to so any feedback would be very appreciated. I really had no idea how to piece the scenes together but here you go! Also this was inspired by a tweet by jack on twitter his @ was hetphobeyoon but idk what it is right now

Today is the day. You’d been chasing mafia-leader!Jaehyun for months now and you’d finally managed to intercept a messenger and find his future location. As a detective you’d faced a lot of difficulties both in gaining respect from colleagues and losing members of the team. This however, was your most difficult challenge yet. Somehow in spite of everything the end of this case was finally on the horizon. The rendezvous point for today was a dimly lit, rustic cafe. The view from the outside wasn’t much but it was kind of cute, it happened to be the place you’d first seen Jaehyun. Your eyes screwed shut as you thought of your ex, a now mafia leader. You inhaled a slow breath and pushed open the door of the cafe.

The inside of the cafe was made up of small tables and booths. Towards the back there was a fish tank with crystal blue water and an array of fish. Right next to it was a booth, away from any windows and full of a ragtag group of people. To the untrained eye, they looked like a odd group of people, a confusing mixture of people. To the trained eye, they looked exactly the same. This odd group were your team, with them you had begun to solve the case of the mafia leader off the grid.

You grinned as one of them raised a hand in greeting. This ragtag group were like family.

“Hey.” You said sliding onto the seat next to Haechan as a chorus of hey’s and hello’s floated back towards you.

All together you were a group of 6. Two junior detectives Mark and Haechan, your boss Jack, and two senior detectives like yourself named Amaya and Starr. It had been extremely difficult to hide the fact that you had this connection to Jaehyun from them, but it had to be done.

“Are we ready?” You inquired, reaching for the coffee already ordered for you. Black, of course. Today was no time for cream and sugar.

“Well, it’s looking like its gonna be a rough night but we are definitely ready this time. Our sources are secure and we have everything we need.” Amaya spoke, subconsciously tapping her nose ring. Her dark skin seemed to reflect every speck of light in the room, she was truly beautiful and brilliantly clever. Seeing her on the field is always a shock to the system. She investigates with precision and care, you’d never seen anyone so perfect at what they do.

“Here’s a spare phone, this has all the necessary locations, emergency contacts and a recording device just incase.” This time Jack looked at you, carefully sliding a sleek phone towards you. At the moment it lay dark and silent on the table.

“Okay, shall we start then?”

He nodded, opening up his ipad and beginning the briefing.

You nudged haechan, smiling up at him. “ You good?” You whispered, he tended to be nervous before big missions like these.

“Yeah, I’m good don’t worry.” He said, his honey skin now lightly dusted with pink. You zoned back into the conversation a small smile on your lips.

“-You guys are gonna need to be careful, the atmosphere is going to relaxed, yes. But it’s our job to stay alert and stay focused. You know your individual roles in this bust.” Jack said his tone laced with caution.

“Starr, I’m looking at you in particular when I say stick to the plan. I don't care what ideas you have while we are on the scene we have one thing to do and we ARE going to do that if it’s the last thing I do. Now isn’t the time to veer off course, okay?” He spoke gently, allowing his frustrations to peak through without coming across aggressively.

Starr seemed to slide down in her seat slightly. Although she was a great asset to the group, she had an unfathomable mind and that led to her going in a completely different direction to whatever was planned. Her dark hair floated around her head, as if each strand was trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Got it.”

“Okay. Mark? What have you got for me?”

Mark looked up, pushing his circular frames further up the bridge of his nose.

“Alright, numbers are looking low. I’m guessing about 8 members at this specific party. So we need to think tactically cause like, they in theory out number us. We know that we are better trained than at least 5 so that gives us a real advantage going forward.”

He looked around at each of us carefully noting our facial expressions before proceeding.

“In terms of weapons, it’s not looking great. A meeting of this importance is likely to have people on both sides heavily armed. Y/N, i'm sure you’ve got our weapons and deterrent devices sorted?” His eyebrow raised slightly in question.

“Yes, of course. I've had everything delivered to your houses, you’ll see when you go to get ready. The club is going to be packed so we don’t have the capacity for much firepower. You guys are going to have to rely mostly on your training.”

Haechan reached into his breast pocket, and slid two grainy photographs on the table. One man and one woman, both of a similar age.

“These two will lead us to him. Find them, you find the leader. Find the leader? Job done.”

He lifted his chin, determination visible on his face.

“This is our only chance, let’s do what we can.”

* * *

The night air was biting and a shiver ran down your spine as you reached the entrance to the bar. You couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or something else. Fear? Anticipation? None of it mattered, the only thing you needed at this moment in time was focus.

You nodded at the group. Haechan sported a red, velvet suit not a hair out of place, his skin glowed as usual but this evening it seemed to glow even more. A shimmer glittered across his eyelids and his lashes seemed long enough to brush his cheeks casting shadows on his face.

Amaya and Starr were at odds, one wearing a white dress, a perfect vision of beauty and innocence, while the other wore a playsuit of darkest black embellished with blinking diamonds, a vision of beauty and mystery. Mark and Starr appeared to be entranced by Amaya. This made you smile slightly, they were so obvious. It had been so difficult to get mark a good suit but Mark’s simple grey suit and turtleneck suited his low-key vibe.

Lastly, Jack sported a simple all black outfit, with a plain dress shirt and pants. You had made sure everyone dressed accordingly. The gala you were attending was one full of finery and spectacle. You had chosen the only extravagant outfit you owned. You wore a deep red dress that reached the floor. A slit in the side exposed your long legs, and intricate detailing snaked its way up over your chest and up to your neck. The dress hugged your figure as if it were an old friend.

“Let’s go. “ You murmured, becoming aware of the people around you. At a moments notice, you all went your separate ways. Entering the building and becoming lost in the crowds.

The air was warm in the gala, carrying the smooth scent of night blooming jasmine. The further you walked the more your jaw dropped, the place was something out of a dream. Large marble pillars held up a ceiling covered in renaissance art. The large chandelier in the middle of the room sent shards of light bouncing off peoples glasses, giving the room an odd glow. The loud music made your skin tingle. Your eyes slid shut, images of jaehyun swimming behind your eyelids. It had been a long time since you’d seen him and now it was to arrest him. When you opened your eyes you located a bar and ordered a drink.

The bartender was a stocky man with thick dark hair and a some wireframe glasses similar to Mark’s. He handed you your drink with a smile and you turned back to the party leaning on the bar. Your eyes flickered over the brim of your drink as you managed to spot one target almost immediately.

“I see the girl in the photo, she’s like halfway across the room from me. I’m going in.” You spoke, hoping your earpiece was picking up the audio over the loud music.

You glided away from the bar, downing your drink and placing it on a passing waiters tray. The crowd was thick with people, not one person looked the same and yet they all were connected in the fact that they were filthy rich. As you approached you noted the girls appearance, she was indeed the girl in the photo. She was incredibly beautiful, her fiery red hair appeared to swim around her head as she threw her head back in laughter. The many rings on her finger glinting as she tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.

The knife in your thigh holster felt like it weighed a ton as you slid towards her trying to remain inconspicuous. Before you could reach the girl, a tall figure stepped in front of her blocking your view. You raised your eyes to the stranger, freezing when you realised the man who stood before you was the leader of the mafia you were here to catch but also your ex-boyfriend.

His ash purple hair shone in the dim light, It offset his brown eyes making them appear even brighter than usual. He stood with a casual grace as though he was a dancer trained to move with ease. You rolled your eyes before slowly turning around and walking back to the edge of the room. Tapping your earpiece.

“Guys, nevermind the girl, I see him. I nearly came face to face with that idiot.”

“What? Where?“ Haechan questioned, “Where are you I think I just-”

Suddenly, the sound just cut out.

“Hello?” You whispered.. no answer.

You tapped your earpiece once more before you felt a tap on your shoulder.

Jaehyun stood before you again. His eyes glittered in amusement, he was annoyingly attractive. A fact you had tried to ignore time and time again. Despite the nature of your job and the nature of his, you had history. A relationship that you could never go back to now.

“Have we met before?” His voice was deep and sensual, everything about him radiated confidence. He was stood extremely still, his velvet accented suit hugged his muscular figure and you struggled not to acknowledge the way he affected you even now.

He seemed to not have recognised you yet. You held your breath, staying silent. You were unsure of whether or not to make a move when you had no back up.

Eventually when there was no response in your earpiece you said simply,

“I don’t know, Jaehyun. Have we?”

His brows furrowed and then his eyes widened slightly as he realised who you were.

“Y/n?”

He began to lift his watch to his mouth as if to speak to his cronies. From one second to the next, you had tackled him to the ground, a hand on his throat slowly increasing pressure. You were sat astride him, his well built body tense beneath yours, thankfully there were no people in this area.

“You’re really trying to call for backup right now.” you muttered, nothing but loathing dripping from your voice.

“I have not spent all this time trying to catch you to fail again.”

“I can't believe I didn't recognise you. “ He said a sly grin on his face despite the position he was in.

He moved so fast your eyes couldn't follow it, next thing you know he was on top of you an arm holding your chest to the ground.

“I’m sorry princess, but I can’t have you and your friends take me to jail. That would be no fun don’t you think?”

He was so close his breath fanned your face. You smiled before reaching up to knee him in the crotch, making him keel over. He groaned in pain before slowly getting back up.

“You piece of shit. I actually can’t believe I dated you.” You began to circle each other, ever so slowly his eyes travelled across your body.

“You know I never wanted to hurt you. My job is … what it is and you knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. ” Both of his hands were in his pockets as though you two hadn’t been rolling about on the floor two seconds ago.

You ran at him aiming a punch at his jaw, but rather than the punch connecting he grabbed you and pushed you up against the wall.

“I’m not gonna hurt you so stop trying to attack me.” He sighed, running a hand through his now mussed up hair. His eyebrows were knitted together as if it hurt him to be in this situation.

“I regret what happened between us everyday, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.”

You were incredibly close to him and looking into his eyes was dizzying. His lips looked so soft and plump, if you could just- NO. Every time you were with Jaehyun your mind went places it should never go. He was like a drug you couldn't get enough of.

He gazed into your eyes as if searching for some kind of response, then his eyes flicked to your lips. You’d had enough. You grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him towards you. Your lips met tentatively at first, he tasted like fresh mint and old memories. After a moment, he melted into your lips and you began to move in sync. You could feel his heart pounding against yours. His hands lifted from beside the wall and pulled you ever so closer to him as you leaned into his touch. For a moment, you forgot why you were at the gala, who he was and who you were. For a moment you were just a girl and a boy.

That moment was cut short however as Haechan walked in and yelled “What the hell are you doing?”

The two of you broke apart as fast as you came together. You put your hand over your mouth, in shock, but also to hide your swollen lips. You both glanced at each other, Jaehyun's eyes twinkled as if he was holding in a laugh.

“Uh, keeping my enemies closer?” You blurted, immediately wanting to throw yourself off the nearest balcony as the rest of your team joined Haechan.

[sensationalscenarios]

[Aberration]

heyo! 

original requests can be found here and here

based on SF9 as: Mafia au found here

requests are open!

i had a ton of fun writing this one so i hope you guys enjoy it! mafia aus are one of my favorite things and i decided that all of my sf9 mafia works will take place within the same universe so there will be cross references but you won’t have to read one to understand another unless otherwise stated!

anyways enjoy some soldier!hwiyoung ;) + admin L

    Hwiyoung sat at his desk, surrounded by various cleaning solvents and tools ranging from a worn cloth to toothbrushes. He began his usual routine of field stripping his pistols, removing the magazines and emptying the chambers. The slide catch was the next to go, along with the recoil spring and barrel. Once the pieces were laid out he began rhythmically cleaning them, the familiar motions soothing him. It was something Hwiyoung always did after returning from an assignment and it kept him from thinking about the cries and pleading that echoed in his mind.

    Whenever Youngbin sent him and Rowoon out on assignments, Hwiyoung knew the people deserved what they got, and he knew if given the chance to go back in time, he wouldn’t change a thing because his brothers were his priority. He knew that even letting one person live could lead to a dozen more coming back to attack them and Hwiyoung will be damned if he lets anyone harm his brothers.

    He’d just placed the slide catch back when Youngbin tapped on his door three times before entering. Hwiyoung paused, looking up but not over his shoulder; he didn’t have to look at Youngbin to know he had another assignment ready for him.

    “You got a minute?” Youngbin asked, taking a seat on Hwiyoung’s bed.

    “Always.” Hwiyoung picked up his favorite tattered cloth and slowly wiped his pistols, his eyes transfixed on the metal as he waited for Youngbin to continue.

    “Inseong has been monitoring the Seven Star gang and noticed an anomaly about an hour ago. Another individual managed to hack into their systems and whatever information they uncovered spooked them because twelve seconds later they went off the grid. Unfortunately that twelve second window was enough to expose Inseong and they’ve traced his signal to our territory.” Youngbin sighed, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees.

    “So they’re coming at us?” Hwiyoung looked at him this time, brow raised in question.

    “It would seem so. The others are gearing up but I have a different assignment for you.” Youngbin held his gaze, seemingly searching for something before continuing, “I need you to find the person who hacked Seven Star and find out what he or she knows.”

    “And afterwards?”

    “Clean up as per usual.”

    Hwiyoung stood up, reloading his magazines into his pistols, slipping them into the waistband of his pants. He didn’t say anything to Youngbin as he walked out, only a nod to confirm that he understood orders. Clean up mean discarding of the person, with no trace left behind. Hwiyoung would have to hear the begging again tonight, and clean his pistols again when he got back. As per usual.

    His phone buzzed as he walked out of their home; a message from Inseong flashed across the screen: Here’s your target Quicksilver. Hwiyoung smiled at the nickname, given to him due to his precision and accuracy with his pistols. Opening the message, Hwiyoung looked at the photo attached.

    So the target is female. Hwiyoung thought. He sighed; there were always more tears with females, but at least they didn’t try to beg and bargain like men do. Pulling his hood over his head, Hwiyoung hurried down the streets, towards the night market. Inseong had managed to pinpoint the girl’s location to a five mile radius within the market area. It wasn’t going to be easy, but Hwiyoung had to find her before Seven Star did.

    Hold on, I’m coming.

    ~~~

    You pushed your way through the crowd, head lowered as you murmured apologies to people. Having had the foresight to wear a jacket, you pulled the hood up in hopes of disguising your appearance as much as possible. The crowd was particularly thick tonight as everyone shouted over one another to place orders at various vendors, the smells of grilled meat permeating the air. You hoped that you’d be able to lose those men in the crowd somehow.

    Admittedly when you were sitting in the cafe with your laptop you hadn’t expected to hack into some gang’s database. Honestly you were just trying to expose a company for animal abuse when a set of folders peaked your interest. They had been locked behind two passwords and a firewall, and you were sure it would be filled with the compelling evidence that you needed. Instead you had found various files regarding the Seven Star gang, one of the most notorious gangs still operating in Seoul. Realizing that this was a lot bigger than animal abuse (more like using animal smuggling as a cover up for human trafficking) you quickly stuffed your laptop into your bag and left.

    Unfortunately Seven Star aren’t ones to act slowly, as a group of five or so men were already walking down the street in your direction. Trying not to draw too much attention to yourself, you made your way towards the market, where you were now found yourself in your current predicament.

    You pushed through the crowd faster, feeling how close those men were. Not really paying attention to who was in front of you, you stumbled slightly as a stranger bumped into your left shoulder. You turned on your heel and looked back just as he did, and for a moment time stopped as your eyes locked with one another. His blond hair peeked out from under his hood, his bangs brushing against his eyes as he blinked. Recognition flashed in his eyes and he turned his body so that he was facing you directly now.

    “[Y/N]?” He asked, taking his hands out of his pockets and facing them palm out towards you, showing you that he wasn’t armed, or at least that he didn’t have any intentions of hurting you.

    “Oh god you’re one of them aren’t you.” You took a step backwards, ready to break out into a run.

    “Seven Star? No, more like Red Dragon. Kim Hwiyoung at your service.” The corners of his lips turned upwards in a smile filled with pride. Just as soon as it appeared it vanished, his face blank again. “You’ve got quite the problem here Princess, and I’m not just talking about the Seven Star.”

    “What do you mean exactly?”

    “Your little magic trick has inconvenienced my brothers, but all will be forgiven if you tell me what you found in their system.” He stepped slowly towards you, trying not to scare you off.

    “I-” You looked past him and saw the group of men from before shoving people out of the way as they moved towards you. “Oh shit.”

    Hwiyoung knew what was coming and without hesitation he ran past you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you along with him. “Hey what are you-”

    “Looks like I get to be your Knight in shining armor today Princess.” He smiled at you, a smile that you weren’t sure was genuine or not.

    Pushing through the crowd, Hwiyoung pulled you away from the market and through alleyways, making so many turns that you no longer had any idea where you were. Footsteps echoed against the brick walls; Seven Star not too far behind. You jumped over piles of trash, stomped through puddles of only god knows what, and scaled at least one fence; the only thing keeping you from falling was Hwiyoung. He was hardly breaking a sweat at all, and you wondered how often he did things like this. By now his hand had slipped into yours, his grip tight as you ran.

    He turned a corner, pulling you into his chest, one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulder, his hand resting on your neck. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you heard footsteps rush past, your heart beating so loud you thought it’d give you away. After a few moments you felt Hwiyoung’s grip loosen slightly and you peered up at him, cheeks growing warm as he looked down at you. Something flickered across his eyes, but it was so quick you wondered if you actually saw it.

    “Thanks.” You whispered, still afraid.

    “Don’t mention it.” He smiled softly. “Now are you going to tell me what you saw?”

    “Okay listen,” You began, “I really only meant to find evidence of animal abuse that a certain company is clearly guilty of, but instead I found out that it was a cover up for human trafficking, and well that specific folder I looked into? Let’s just say at least some people don’t have to suffer anymore.” You shuddered, recalling images of victims who died from drug overdose or worse. “I swear that’s all I saw.”

    Hwiyoung stared at you for a moment longer, brow raising in interest. “You know, most people who see that kind of thing wouldn’t be as calm as you are now. But I appreciate your help Princess.”

    “What happens now then?” You were afraid to ask, afraid of the answer you’d get.

    “Well technically I’m supposed to kill you.” He replied, letting go of you to pull out his twin pistols. “But for some reason, I can’t bring myself to do it, and I’m not entirely sure why. You just really interest me. I’m going to have to bring you back with me though, to explain everything to Youngbin.”

    Upon seeing the fear in your eyes he lowered his guns slightly, his features softening. “Hey, don’t worry I’m not gonna hurt you.”

    You weren’t exactly sure of what you were feeling, or what you were even supposed to feel in this kind of situation, but a part of you felt safe with Hwiyoung. If Hwiyoung really had wanted to kill you, you were pretty sure that you wouldn’t still be standing here now. Just as you were about to respond, the footsteps came back and four shadows blocked some of the light from the streetlamp overhead. Hwiyoung wasted no time in pushing you behind him, his guns aimed at them.

    “Huh so they sent just you huh? Hand the girl over Hwiyoung we don’t want any problems.” One of them said, stepping forward.

    “Take one more step and I’ll put a bullet between your eyes Jeongguk.”

    “Tsk. Always business with you. I think you need to loosen up and have fun sometimes.”

    “Oh just shut the fu-” At that moment a side door burst open, the man barreling into Hwiyoung. Caught by surprise, Hwiyoung slammed into the brick wall, one of his pistols clattering to the floor near you. He leaned against the wall in shock, blinking rapidly to regain his bearings. The man raised his gun, finger on the trigger ready to shoot him. You had to do something, anything.

    “Hwiyoung!” All you heard was a scream, followed by a gunshot, and you watched, horrified as the man who tackled Hwiyoung collapsed to the ground, a bloody hand clutching at his wound. Looking down, you saw Hwiyoung’s pistol in your hand, and it dawned on you that you had shot the man, that you had actually murdered someone. Everything was silent, Hwiyoung and this Jeongguk guy staring at you surprised.

    “You bitch!” Jeongguk recovered first, anger in his eyes as his raised his gun. “You’re gonna pay for that!”

    “No!” Hwiyoung fired first, his shot landing in Jeongguk’s right shoulder. He pushed himself off the wall, firing one, two, three more shots at Jeongguk’s entourage.

    “You win this one kid.” Jeongguk coughed, turning to run as his men clambered after him.

    You stood there shaking, still clutching Hwiyoung’s pistol to your chest. Had that really just happened? Did you really just commit first degree murder? You were so lost in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed Hwiyoung’s arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He rested his head on top of yours, quietly reassuring you that it was okay, that it was the right thing to do.

    “Come on,” He whispered, “Let’s go home.”

    ~~~

    You sat on Hwiyoung’s bed, holding your knees to your chest as you chewed on your nail nervously. When Hwiyoung had brought you back to his home, his brothers were shocked to say the least. One of them, Youngbin, didn’t look too happy and asked to speak to Hwiyoung alone. One of his brothers, Inseong, spoke to you for a few minutes regarding the information you obtained from Seven Star before escorting you to Hwiyoung’s room. The girl who’d been with Inseong reassured you with a smile that everything would be okay, that you were safe here.

    Everything was silent, save for the quiet murmuring of voices from another room. You took the time to observe your surroundings, noting Hwiyoung’s cluttered desk. There wasn’t too many personal items here, except for a single framed photo of Hwiyoung and eight other boys on his desk. Picking it up, you noticed how happy he looked here, how genuine his smile was. You wondered if this picture had been from happier times, before their lifestyles changed.

    The door opened, startling you as you rushed to put the picture back in it’s spot. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to pry I just-”

    “It’s okay.” Hwiyoung smiled, closing the door behind him. He enveloped you in a hug, his fingers playing with your hair. “Youngbin’s not mad you know. He says you’re more than welcome to stay here with us. With me.”

    He said this last part with hesitation, and you could tell he felt nervous about it. You looked up at him and smiled. “I’d love to, as long as you teach me how to properly use a gun anyways.”

    “Deal.” He grinned. The sound of the door opening drew your attention as Chani poked his head into the room.

    “Hey Hwi, [Y/N], Rowoon says dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes and he expects both of you at the table.” Chani glanced between you and Hwiyoung with a knowing smile and disappeared.

   “Ready to meet the rest of my brothers?”

    “You mean the rest of the infamous Red Dragons? It would be an honor.”

    Hwiyoung smiled, fingers intertwining with yours as he led you downstairs to meet the most important people in his life.

    ~~~

    Later that evening, when you were sound asleep in his bed, Hwiyoung sat at his desk, his pistols laid out in front of him. He stared at them for a while, before picking up the one you had held. Admittedly you were the first person to ever touch one of his pistols, let alone shoot someone with them. Setting it down, Hwiyoung’s hand hovered over one of his cleaning tools, picking it up and putting it down several times before leaving it there.

    For as long as Hwiyoung’s been in this messy business, he’s never skipped his cleaning routine. It had been the only thing that gave him solace in the wake of his actions, but for the first time Hwiyoung’s mind wasn’t filled with cries or pleading. Instead, it was only filled with images of you, the fear you had, and the smile you wore now. Hwiyoung knew that you were the only thing he would ever need to cope with his demons, and as long as you were by his side he could handle it. Hwiyoung knew there would always be nine people in his life that he would die for (Inseong would kill him if he didn’t protect his girl too), but now you were here, and you were his new priority.

    Abandoning his pistols, he crawled into bed, pulling you close to his chest. He placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, his lips lingering for a second longer before pulling away. Resting his forehead against yours he sighed, eyes closing as he drifted into one of the most peaceful nights he’s ever had.

    “Goodnight Princess.”

[trickstercaptain-archive]

modern verse outline.

       this is ridiculously long so I’m sticking it all under a cut, but here is my official outline for Jack’s modern verse! it only took me three years to write lmfao, although I have had the majority of this planned out for a long time, it’s just taken me until now to organise all of my thoughts coherently and actually write them out. and this will also be linked to under my modern verse on my verses page :’))

       trigger warnings apply for child abuse/neglect, violence, drugs, human trafficking, alcohol -- you know, the usual when it comes to this man.

        Born of a former trainee nurse and one of the most prolific crime bosses in the country, the first seven years of the young Jack Sparrow’s life were anything but ordinary. Homeschooled, his mother attempted to create as stable an environment as possible for their small family, but Edward Teague’s criminal enterprise was only growing in influence, and the birth of a child soon became an irreparable fissure in the two parents’ relationship. This tension, along with the increased arguments and danger Teague was putting his family in, came to a head seven years later, during a car chase that would end with Maria dying of a gunshot wound in the backseat, her head resting in her son’s lap.

       Everything changed after that. Swearing off crime, Teague relocated with Jack, turning him over briefly to his own mother until he realised, with the help of a sober mind, the extent of the torment he’d subjected his son to at her hands. Eventually, the two were reunited in a home of their own, where Jack would stay for the remainder of his childhood and adolescence, and slowly come to loathe. School took adjustment of its own but, in spite of the bullies and, as he grew older, his habit of letting his sharp tongue get him into trouble, he at least thrived in his academic pursuits. 

      Personally, however, was another matter. When he was nine, Teague left the home one night with the intent of going out drinking, and Jack heard nothing more from him until he returned three days later, nursing a headache and having left his son to fend for himself in the interim. From that point onwards, Jack would depend only on himself; he taught himself to cook, would spend hours cooped up in his own room studying, or reading, or teaching himself to play the guitar, and was intent on making success enough of himself to finally leave the family home as soon as he was able. Acing his GCSEs without too much difficulty, he opted for A level History, English Literature and Spanish and, with the support of his teachers, aspired to university study -- but that ambition, too, ended up derailed.*

       Little did Jack know that his father had gone back into crime, this time keeping it very much under the radar. The truth only came out after a hostage attempt; shortly after turning fifteen, Jack was minding his own business before being kidnapped by a group of thugs intent on using him as leverage against his father. With Teague’s help, Jack escaped with only a few cuts and bruises, but the betrayal left its own mark and quickly pushed him into the company of another in his final few years of school. Christophe was also a man ensconced in crime, but of a far more tempting variety: it was he who first introduced Jack to petty theft ( along with a variety of other vices, including alcohol and drugs ), grooming him in his own image only to threaten to discard him later on. 

        A heist aimed at damaging another crime syndicate: the one run by Teague himself. When Jack discovered the identity of their mark, he tried to pull out, but by then it was already too late. He was offered an ultimatum by Christophe: pledge complete loyalty to his gang, or be set up and thrown to the wolves, painted as the instigator in a plot to betray his own family. With little choice in the matter, Jack went with them, leaving school several months early and forced to work for a man who had thrown his trust and affection back in his face.

       He then kept his head low for several weeks, looking for an opportunity to get his revenge. Compiling as much evidence of their illegal activities as he could, he arranged a set up of his own, inviting police to the crime scene and offering his own testimony to ensure they were sent down. With Christophe’s blackmail of him come to light, Jack is spared prison, but he’s still ordered community service and the whole experience makes him vow to clean up his act completely.

       Knowing that academic study was no longer in his future, and too ashamed to remain in his familial home, Jack moved into a modest flat with his longtime friend and mentor, Joshamee Gibbs. In the next seven years he took up a number of jobs to break even and make a living, from bartending to serving as a lifeguard at a public swimming pool and working at the local dockyard. In this time, he turned his life around, largely kicked any unpleasant habits from his youth ( except his one true vice: alcohol ), and even had time for a first love, a budding actress on holiday in London, and who he would remain in contact with when she returned to New York.

       But nothing good ever lasted in his life, and during his work at the London Docklands was when he got involved in an enterprise that nearly cost him his life. On paper, it had seemed ideal: managing the shipping of cargo into London, a job with a reputable employer and the prospect of advancement beyond the menial employment he’d been able to find thus far. But it had a sinister underbelly. Scarcely a year into his newfound partnership with its head of operations, Jack discovered that the distribution of materials and products was merely a veneer to disguise the true heart of the business: human trafficking. Appalled, he set about trying to expose the organisation for what it was, dismantling some of the trafficking rings and succeeded in weeding out a few of its members, as well as casting media scrutiny and doubt on the organisation. 

       In the meantime, a ghost from his past was rearing its ugly head again. Five years behind bars and Christophe-Julien de Rapièr was free once more, and out for vengeance on the man who put him there in the first place. His path to Jack culminated in one dramatic final showdown. The Frenchman wasn’t pushed, but he did lose his footing as he made one last push to murder his quarry -- and for the first time Jack Sparrow knew what it was to have someone’s blood on his hands.

       Meanwhile, his employer had begun to discover Jack’s apparent betrayal of the company, and utilised its unscrupulous connections to rid itself of its newest problem. A planned arson attack on Jack’s block of flats. He managed to save the lives of a few as the building went up in smoke ( fortunately Joshamee wasn’t home at the time ), but ended up injured and passed out before the firefighters arrived and found him. When he woke, he was in a hospital bed with scarring on his arm from being burned and the effects of smoke inhalation, and knew even before he was visited by his best friend that London was no longer safe for him. It might have been reported in the press as an accidental fire, but Jack knew who was responsible, and knew that if word got out that he’d survived they’d no doubt try again.

      He was resolved to leave the country,** and as soon as he was well he headed for Dover and crossed the English Channel to France. For the next few years, he backpacked across Europe, his new goal being that of seeing the world and experiencing it. Sometimes he stayed in the local hostels, other times he’d earned enough money from both honest -- and dishonest -- employment to stay in a hotel, but he lived out of a mere suitcase, never staying in one place for too long.

      After the Champs Elysees and the Colosseum, the French Riviera and the Canary Islands, experiencing yachting and wine drinking and everything in between, Jack moved on to the Far East, residing in Singapore. It was there that he was exposed to a culture very different to his own and fell in love with it. He remained for two years before finally resolving to move on ( only after upsetting the wrong sorts of people ), and made for the next place on his bucket list: the Caribbean.

       He stayed in Kingston, Jamaica for a while before the longing for home began, realising just how long he’d been away from London. Now in his thirties, he returned to the city that had been the source of so many conflicted feelings, very much changed from the man who had earlier left it in such a hurry. He moved back in with Joshamee and settled back into an ordinary life, but the need for excitement and danger in his life led him back down an avenue that he’d narrowly avoided ten years prior: con artistry. This time, the crime was on his terms, targeting those most corrupt and susceptible to his schemes, while avoiding the innocent and anything as morally reprehensible as what prompted him to leave the city in the first place. After a few years, Jack had made a name for himself in criminal circles independent of Teague, and with the help of his best friend was making a reasonable profit for his time, too.

       The default for this verse is after this point, where Jack is in his late thirties and living in Soho, London, having already travelled and experienced a lot of the world and already enjoying success as a con artist in the city. There are also rumblings from members of the same organisation that Jack escaped and nearly dismantled thirteen years prior; when he’s not gaining valuable contacts in the city by targeting specific individuals' reputations and purses to damage, he’s preparing to take down his former employer once and for all.

extra notes: *in two alternative modern verses, Jack never meets Christophe and is accepted into university, studying to become a university professor and lawyer respectively. **in an alternate arc, Jack moves to New York and in with Esmeralda, giving up crime completely.

[poppun-chan]

The Year of Keroro Challenge Update 4 (Yes Sir)

Goodness, even though I mentioned looking forward to this one it took quite a while to write it (this has been a difficult week)in terms of watching I’m almost finished with the first season, actually, one strange thing I noticed was that the valentines episode actually lines up with valentines day. But before we get started Jlucy pointed out to me that the scene from episode 21 with the car is specifically a nod to “Castle of Caliostro” with the drivers being based on two of the main characters and the car being a nod to the Fiat from the movie. Actually I wonder if the writers for the dub had this in mind when they were writing; in the English version the driver mentions he was renting a car because he didn’t want to use his Fiat.

Either way I had planned to wait until there weren’t any text pieces to translate, but I have at least one more of these non-episode specific notes to do before we reach episode 65, so a bit on name origins (The ones for the Human characters will probably be less familiar, but still....)

Keroro-Kero, the noise a frog makes (I’ve always suspected this is actually a really common name)

Tamama-Otamajakushi, meaning tadpole (I really find myself wondering about his family background that his parents gave him a name that assumes he’s going to look like a child for a long time)

Giroro-Giro, the onomatopoeia for glaring at someone/something

Kururu-Kuru, it’s used as an onomatopoeia, a noun, and a verb, either way it refers to something twisting, spinning or turning (which is why his resonance creates a loop)

Dororo-It’s best known as a reference to the Osamu Tezuka manga Dororo, which takes place in the feudal era, it also works as a play on Doro-Doro which is the sound of something dripping

And the plan count:

Serious Plans: K66:16 D66:1 MMK:1 TMM:1

Funding Plans: K66:1

It’s a plan, I Swear!: K66:5 (I’m throwing the sports day mission in here too)

Oh look! Progress!: K66:3 

And the marker board from episode 27:

Episode 22: Now first of all I’ve always enjoyed this episode, the absurdity, the cute break down Tamama has at the end, the completely impractical but still fun plan (actually I think Tamama only comes up with three plans over the course of the entire show and they’re all more or less the same basic concept). Plus the little stealth pun when Natsumi gets angry about the shower; she shouts “Kora!” which is an interjection that can be used as a reprimand, but it’s pronounced similarly to Cola.

Actually, speaking of this part I have to admit I sort of agree with Tamama’s point that Fuyuki could just serve that cake in the fridge instead of making dinner....Actually even the bit about accounting for nutritional balance could sort of be refuted; Baked goods often contain grains and eggs, not always dairy but ice cream and cheese cake covers that, his plan allowed tuna as an exception so that’s meat covered, plus many desserts are made with fruit and there are some made with vegetables (carrot cake, anything with pumpkin in it, corn cake), sure most people would probably either stop eating before this point or simply die trying, but theoretically it IS possible to get normal nutrients that way....Yes I’ve seriously thought about this; there are quite a few characters that can be explained this way.

Finally no discussion of this episode would be complete without bringing up the infamous letter, so I’m going to try and cover this in more depth since I have the luxury of making this a separate note. First of all, it’s written really oddly; everything except the word “leader” is written in katakana which you normally wouldn’t do (hiragana only is a different matter, but in modern times it’s considered a bit childish). One big issue with not using kanji is that it’s much harder to tell what you’re trying to say, plus katakana itself is a bit sticky since some of them strongly resemble each other or other kanji (one relevant to this is katakana ni resembling the kanji for two which is often pronounced the same way). The revealed part admittedly seems phrased a bit simply, but it says “Taichou wa Tamama ni” or “Tamama’s Leader” while the full message is “Taichou wa Keroro ni Makasetamama ni” or “Keroro will be left as the leader” I suppose the closest thing in English would be if the letters were a bit more spaced apart instead of grouped together

And fun fact; Etsuko Kozakura, the woman who provides Tamama’s voice, also did the voice of Puppetmon/Pinocchimon from the original Digimon series. I just thought I’d mention this since I noticed a few....similarities between their management styles (Though Tamama just imprisoned people who crossed him instead of....deleting them)....actually watching the episode and knowing this made me look into Digimon again, did you know one of the newer series has a Puppetmon who is one of the friend Digimon that shows up every now and then? Really. They have his nose grow when he lies (including to himself) and give him some really charming moments....and he shares his English voice with Keroro, hm.

Episode 23: And it’s the clone episode! I have to confess, the bit about the clones not having a star always makes me wish there was a video of the original Keroro singing the song from the Sneetches, the one where the starred Sneetches are roasting marshmallows....I know it’s a strange association to make, but....Come to think of it, I don’t think this was a manga chapter, I’m not completely sure and I know most of the season one episodes were based on the manga, but I know a few stories were anime exclusive and I believe this was the first one, either way it’s hilarious to see Keroro being the responsible one and getting annoyed by the behaviour of his own clones (still, at least there was an easily visible way of telling them apart, which is better than what happened with Pinkie Pie, some people still theorise that they kept the wrong Pinkie).

Now for a bit of a sticky area, especially since I’ve been putting up with my grandfather’s preoccupation with this particular time for most of my life, but I noticed something a bit odd. Even now, a lot of people seem to be weirded out by the “clone salute”, but they actually switched two of the syllables in the Aliens’ name for Earth because the original term from the manga was associated with the Sino-Japanese wars (I’m not sure which, there’s two major ones and a bunch of smaller conflicts, but the second big one was during the world war) and was banned from television. I’d be curious to find out what it is that makes one war reference more acceptable than another (maybe because calling Earth “Pokopen” alludes to much longer standing conflict with a specific country? I have to admit I always wondered if the best way of handling “touchy terms” would be to find a positive, unrelated use for them so they take on a new meaning and the old one eventually falls out of use; you often hear about the power of words, but it’s actually their meanings that have effect rather than the words themselves)

Episode 24: Oh dear it’s 556, I have to admit I’ve never liked this guy (though I will admit, I like the instrumental version of his song on the Christmas album) I know for a lot of people felt the same way with Joriri eventually replacing him, but it didn’t work the same way for me.

Actually, one thing I love about this episode is how when Keroro wonders about the emotions he’s feeling watching 556 fighting “monsters” they immediately cut to Tamama; it’s almost as if the cinematography is saying “Let’s ask your resident expert, shall we?”

Actually I recently looked at the Japanese version of the full character page again, I think there’s one surprising one on there; I know 556 and Labbie are references to Space Sheriff Gaven and a character named Annie from Space Sheriff Shaider, but the character page lists their relationship as Gukyou-Kenmai or “Goofy Older Brother, Wise Younger Sister” which was the original title for a T.V. series called “Otoko wa Tsurai yo” or “It’s tough to be a man” which later became a huge film series of the same title (Often called “Tora-san” after the main character, Torajirou), spanning 48 installments and nearly three decades (only ending when the actor playing Torajiro died). The films followed a similar formula of Torajirou the traveling salesman going home to his sister’s family, walking out after getting into an argument and meeting a distressed young woman in the next town he goes to and offering to let her stay at the family’s sweet shop if she needs it. Eventually this happens and he falls in love with her, but in trying to win her over indavertantly ends up setting her up with another man and ending up disappointed, but putting on a brave face and wishing her the best before journeying to another town in hopes of getting over her and eventually becoming somebody his family can be proud of. 

The first movie was actually made to please fans of the original show who were upset that Torajirou died of a snakebite in the final episode, it also took quite a bit of convincing from the director to get the first movie made. Incidentally, the working title for the original show came from the final caption in another piece Torajiro’s actor played in

Episode 25: And here we have a Nishizawa family quarrel....which is appearently not considered complete unless enough money is spent that you could buy a small town and heavy weapons are nearly used (that’s the second time Keroro’s nearly let to Earth be destroyed only to be stopped at the last moment by the realisation that Earth is the official “Gunpla Planet”). Still there are some nice little moments (though I wonder if they ever did make that video, as long as they cut out the bits where they start to lose it could work)

Episode 26: Sports Day fun times ♪ Actually, has anyone ever noticed that whenever a show wants to slow down a sports day they usually target the scavenger hunt? Though now that I think about it, the cruel irony of all this is if they hadn’t tried to help, Aki probably would have made it in time to run in the race (or at least, the combined effect of accidentally speeding up the 100 meter dash and ruining some of the manuscripts). Though I do admit that I miss the parts from the manga where Momoka is running a race and the newspaper article at the end “Freak in tights crashes sports fest” I find it strangely hilarious the way they worded it. Also it’s amazing the things that become relevant later on, let’s see who remembers what I’m talking about.

Episode 27:  First of all, I love the way Keroro offhandedly compares renewing interest in the invasion to reviving the dead (He already knows it’s a lost cause), it’s especially interesting considering they come across the remnants of a failed invasion later on. Actually I sort of want to see a spin off about those past invaders; not necessarily a big, dramatic, action-y thing mind you, honestly I expect it would be more or less the same thing as with Keroro but in ancient times, perhaps with the human characters being the ancestors of the current ones.

Also they use the pun of kaeru meaning both “frog” and “to return” quite a lot in the series. Though I have to admit I can relate to Keroro’s feelings a bit here; all of the women in my family have been quite formidable, especially for their time, and my mother is crusading to change the child welfare system in Canada (even though she’s never been in it) and doing all of these things for political change and I sometimes feel I can’t really measure up to that, even though I don’t plan on going into a related field. Plus because of her work I’m a bit burnt out on people issues, I focus more on environmental ones.

Episode 28: This one was a bit tricky, though I always thought the effect of the cold weather on the Keronians sounded more like windburn than all out frostbite. As for the second part this officially marked the beginning of the odd sort of dynamic of Mois & Kururu, I don’t remember how much it was explored in the show apart from her sometimes being who they went with when they needed a girl to associate with Kururu, though I remember a few moments from the manga that built on it, such as the “Angol Stone” chapter.