#you owe me 200 bucks

[edenyth]

I think the funniest part of karma is not only her lying about having a miscarriage with her ex, but the fact he's now having a baby with his new girl and that's all you wanted from him lmao

Oh rachael you are sooooo cooked lmao bye irrelevant

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: heavily inspired by those all posts but i can't find who they're from, i'm sorry 😭

your instagram but you're dating aaron hotchner :)

except i have no idea how to write for hotch/the team so it's definitely ooc 😹

part 2, 3, 4

liked by its.emilyp, d.morgan and 501 others

y/n_xo: bearded aaron hottie >> 😮‍💨😮‍💨

view all 100 comments

a.hotch: you tell me this after i shaved it all off

y/n_xo: you're still a hottie! just a beardless one 🤍

a.hotch: i'll grow it back for you

y/n_xo: my whole husband 🫶🥹

penny.garcia: you both make my heart so warm 💗 the ice king has finally melted his heart, this'll be such a good story for your kids! 🥹

d.morgan: yall make me so sick

its.emilyp: i feel like this man popped outta the womb with a glare looool

a.hotch: 🤨

its.emilyp: 🙂***

itsjj: suddenly i fear you have a whole stack of paperwork to complete

its.emilyp: and you'd be correct 😪

penny.garcia: SIR 🗣 AYO SIR 🗣🗣 SIR YOU LOOKIN FINE SIR 🗣🗣🗣🗣

reid.gram: not you thirsting over our BOSS 😦

d.morgan: i don't like this, babygirl

itsjj: sometimes sharing is not caring

its.emilyp: i hate it here ☹

penny.garcia: that wasn't me!! 😩 @/y/n_xo grabbed my phone!

y/n_xo: my bad, can't be thirsting on the main 🧍‍♀️

d.morgan: you can barely even see me, why we so blurry?

reid.gram: did you really expect high quality pictures from @/y/n_xo, be honest

the.davidrossi: always the blind ones out here taking 240p pictures

y/n_xo: always the old ones with the most audacity

d.morgan: FOULL 🤣

reid.gram: see, me personally i wouldn't take that type of disrespect

y/n_xo: all that iq and you still can't find a date 😔🤞

its.emilyp: that's my girl 😏

a.hotch: you stop influencing her right now

liked by blake_alex, the.davidrossi and 430 more

y/n_xo: new boyfriend applications, this one is mean 😒

view all 200 comments

a.hotch: wait does that sign not mean something good?

its.emilyp: no it does! nowadays it means peace and happiness

d.morgan: yeah it's also a way to say you love someone a lot

a.hotch: really? @/y/n_xo 🙂🖕❤

itsjj: LMAOOO

reid.gram: I CANT BREATHE

penny.garcia: IVE ALREADY SS THIS AND SENT IT ON THE GC 😂

y/n_xo: my poor man 😭

a.hotch: all of you are getting into trouble

its.emilyp: so worth it 😹

yourexname: i miss you ❤

a.hotch: you're going to miss when you didn't write this

penny.garcia: currently documenting every second of this

reid.gram: we're watching a historical event unfold, you guys

itsjj: i'm a little concerned for this man's safety

its.emilyp: hey, alls fair in love and war 😍

liked by a.hotch, itsjj and 532 more

y/n_xo: never leave your phone unattended pls

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reid.gram: of course you choose the one picture of my double chin

y/n_xo: it's always out wdym

reid.gram: .... oh

d.morgan: you walked straight into that one, pretty boy

penny.garcia: you guys are so mean 😭 my poor boy wonder

reid.gram: all these haters and for what? 😒

its.emilyp: i smell the cheetos from here

itsjj: i did not eat any 😡

y/n_xo: liar. they were on the side

its.emilyp: called it. my cheeto girl ❤

penny.garcia: time to play cupid, methinks 😌

y/n_xo: budge over will, emily's taking your place ‼��‼️

its.emilyp: 😏

itsjj: 😳

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 609 more

y/n_xo: two best friends in a room.... they might kiss 😳

view all 400 comments

the.davidrossi: how can i delete someone else's picture?

d.morgan: don't be embarrassed rossi, embrace your truth ✊

itsjj: we support you ✊

its.emilyp: sassy king ✊

reid.gram: hey, at least you and @/its.emilyp have something in common ✊

its.emilyp: literally choke

penny.garcia: you owe me 5 bucks @/y/n_xo 🥳

the.davidrossi: i hate all of you

itsjj: aww they look a little like henry and jack, forced to take a picture

a.hotch: that's because we were. this was the 10th picture

y/n_xo: that's cause you're so pretty ❤

the.davidrossi: i genuinely got heatstroke after this. never ever take pictures if @/y/n_xo is near

y/n_xo: :(

a.hotch: ignore him, he's on his sixth wife for a reason. i love all your pictures sweetheart ❤

y/n_xo: :")

penny.garcia: the absolute CUTENESS i CANNOT 😩🥹💗💗

its.emilyp: i can be a better boyfriend than him

y/n_xo: i love you

a.hotch: i am sorry??

reid.gram: damn the silence is loud

itsjj: reid don't be an instigator..... but do i sense a relationship forming? 👀

d.morgan: nah, i could treat you way better princess

a.hotch: @/d.morgan and @/its.emilyp both of you in my office now

[crusty]

So I'm sorry to bother but I'm super duper mega fucked until I get paid on the 10th and I can't borrow anything from my family bc they're also broke

If anyone is able to spare a couple bucks I owe like 200 left for rent before the 5th I would be eternally grateful...

I can also offer emergency comms if you wanna get a ART for a significantly reduced price

$25 for a bust sketch

Art examples:

P@ypal: crustybagelbites@gmail.com

Kofi: https://ko-fi.com/crusty

(Try not to donate thru stripe it takes forever to show up on my bank account, send me a note with your d*nation on PP or Kofi if u want a comm or not and send me an email with the simple request lol)

Alternatives:

C@sh@pp: $CrustyLord

V*nmo: @Toni-Moncivais

---

Obligatory I am a mentally ill Chicano fighting for my life in the fucking TRANCHES (currently looking for a 2nd job in the meantime lol)

If u want an art please hit me up I do not want to get evicted thank u I love you happy disability pride month!!!!!!!

I'm into anime and comics, I love drawing ocs and breast images... I don't care! Check out my #crustyart and #crustycommissions tags for art and comm posts

If u want a nicer commission all of them are listed on my Ko-Fi

THANK YOU PLEASE RB

[jxckchxmpi0n]

Hii love congrats on 200 followers I was wondering if I could request a spider man Ethan Landry x female reader where he takes care of his drunk girlfriend

Thank you, love 🕸🕷that means so much to me!! I hope you enjoy this 🌼

Drunk Love

Summary: Spiderman! Ethan takes care of his drunk girlfriend. || m.list

Word count: 1.8k

Warning: Fluff! little angst swearing, drinking, throwing up mentions of NSFW 🫶

update: college is kicking my ass, but break is going to be here soon!!!

did not proof read

ALSO NEW THEME!!!

It was girls' night which meant drunk confessions and dumb middle school games in the living room of the Carpenter sisters' apartment.

As much as the boys thought it was unfair getting thrown out, they planned to have their own fun night, which was sitting in their apartment living room yelling at a flat screen tv over the video game of the hour.

Everyone at this point had found out Ethan your boyfriend was Spiderman, he told them about a year into taking on the role, when he had told them Mindy had stood up shouting "YES! you owe me twenty bucks Chad" everyone had laughed about it and seemed not surprised.

Months had passed and everyone got used to the disappearances of Ethan, but for you it was hard. You always missed him, you felt like you never saw him. Between classes and working, your schedule never matched with his. The occasional nights where he'd slip in through your window would be a treat, but it was never enough.

It was already passed midnight, the drinks were getting stronger, and the music was getting louder.

"Alright y/n we all answered now it's your turn! Where's the weirdest place you've had sex." Mindy stood in the doorway of the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and grape juice in her hand. Everyone was giggling at the question as your face was blushing.

You looked up acting like you were thinking of it, Sam and Tara were sitting on the couch trying to guess places, Anika was making some snacking and drinks with Mindy.

Setting your drink on the coffee table you laughed to yourself finally landing on a place, it weirdest and it's definitely not a normal place. "Ethan wanted to take me on a date around the city, but Spiderman style. So, we went swinging around and then at some point he made this web between some random buildings, and we could look at the stars and well you know one thing led to another."

Tara, and Sam's mouth hung open, "no fucking way you had sex in the middle of the sky on a fucking spider web!!" Everyone's eyes were wide open looking at you as if you told them your darkest secret.

"I mean it's not that bad, its honestly really comfortable plus Ethan he-"Mindy's voice cut you off as she came back into the room with drinks, Anika followed holding the snacks.

"No, we don't need to hear anything about Ethan, I can't look at him other than the shy nerdy boy" you laughed and kept the rest to yourself.

After a good hour or so Tara was knocked out, Mindy and Anika were going to walk back to their place and Sam was going to head to Danny's place across the street. Your mind was racing, and your body felt so hot and warm.

Your mind had thought about Ethan, your heart ached so much at the thought of not seeing him right now. Pulling out your phone you thought about texting him.

The boys had taken a little bit of a break from the game to talk, Chad wanted to talk about how things were going with Tara when ethan felt his phone buzz. Grabbing it from the counter he read a message from you.

pretty girl <3

'baby i miss youu so muh! like i wantto see you!'

'oh i think im just druk'

'your withchad illl leaave you alone'

'im srry'

'i love you baby haha bug boy i miss you'

He smiled looking at the messages, he thought it was cute anytime you were drunk. If you weren't together you would spam his phone in love notes, it was his favorite thing.

bugg boy 🕷

'my love are you okay?'

'Do you want me to come get you? I don't mind!'

'Baby you don't have to bee sorry, you know I love these messages!!'

'Pretty girl, I'm heading over!'

Chad had been fine with Ethan leaving, that had also given him a reason to see his girlfriend. Taking Ethan's car they drove to the girls' apartment, they didn't worry about knocking since it was their second home.

Walking in Chad could see Tara curled up in the couch chair, Ethan's landed on you. You were laying down on your stomach face buried into the couch half hanging off. Chad walked to Tara talking to her softly, he got her up and guided her to her room.

Ethan sat on the ground next to the couch, his hand softly rubbing your back. "My love, I'm here. How are you feeling?" You felt the warmth of his hand through your shirt, the sound of his voice so low and soft made your heart flip.

You raised your head slightly already smiling, "bug boy, my bug boy" You pushed yourself off of the couch making the rest of your body slide into his lap. "ugh I missed you" he chuckled as he felt you shove your face in his neck.

"How drunk are you?" you giggled at his question, something about it seemed funny. Ethan pushed his body up so he could take a look at you.

You laid in his lap with your eyes half closed, "you're so beautiful. Like yes, you're hot but like also so beautiful, with your curly fluffy hair oohh and your freckles- your freckles are so pretty and your eyes- godd I'm so in love with you" Your arms wrapped around his waist, your face buried in his chest under his jacket a little.

His face burning red with your confession. "My love as much as I love hearing you say you love me; we need to get you to bed. Let's get you home-"

"Your bed. I want your bed, it smells like you, and if you aren't there when I wake up at least I have your sheets that have your smell" You nodded to yourself as you thought out loud, Ethan wasn't meant to hear that, but You couldn't control what you were saying right now.

"Fine, we will go to my place." Your face lit up at the agreement. He helped you stand up only for you to tumble, "Okay, hold on." he turned around, so his back was facing your chest. "Can you jump up?"

He squatted down more, so it wasn't such a big jump. Your hands rested loosely on his shoulders. You jumped as much as you could, and his hands grabbed the back of your thigh, pulling you up. He jumped himself a little so you could get on his back comfortably.

He checked on Chad and Tara and saw they were good and then made his way back to the car. You were half asleep on his back, mumbling little things to yourself. "Bug boy is my boyfriend, I love bug boy, how am I moving?"

He laughed at your little comments. You're going to have a rough morning tomorrow. He made it back to the car and placed you on the passenger side, leaning in. He was trying to buckle you in, but you grabbed his face, pulling him to you. Your lips met his, and he could taste the cheap liquor. "Mmm, I love being able to do that." Your words were slurred, but he could understand you.

After a solid thirty minutes, you reached Ethan's apartment. He carried you in and set you on the corner of his bed, running to the kitchen he got water, and as he turned to the sink, he felt his spider tingles go off. The next thing he heard was you saying "oh oh" he ran back to the room to see you stumbling into the bathroom. Making it just in time to the toilet he grabbed your hair as you felt all the alcohol make its way back up.

"Its okay baby let it out" he felt bad he couldn't do more to help you, he hated seeing you like this.

His hand ran up and down your back, as you sat there for a few more minutes. "I'm fine, I swear, Ethan I'm good" your voice was echoing from the inside of the bowl.

"Do you need to throw up anymore?" his voice was soft and filled with concern.

You shook your head, leaning up from the toilet. he grabbed your wrist taking a hair tie from you. Pulling your hair back he made a sloppy bun.

Picking you up he sat you on the lid edge of the tub, resting your back on the wall you watched him. He flushed the toilet and cleaned around it with the mess you made and seeing him clean just made something in you sad.

"Oh god Ethan I'm so sorry- I'm sorry I made a mess on your-" before you could finish, he reached over cupping your face.

"Hey, hey, look at me it's okay. I don't mind, it's a little bit of puck but who cares. I'm here to take care of you, okay. Don't be sorry, any excuse to take care of my love I will do anything" he kissed the top of your head. Your face was even more flushed from his words.

"I need to brush my teeth and take my makeup off" you tried to get up but felt Ethan's webs stick to your wrist.

"No. Sit down. I will do it" his voice was stern yet loving.

He turned around with a makeup wipe remover already in hand, kneeling down he grabbed your face pulling it down to look at him. The coldness of the wipe made you gasp but then hum, the feeling of his hand on your face made you lean into his touch.

You looked at him, seeing the moles you love so much scattered over his face. The brown eyes you fell in love with, then your eyes landed on a scar on his right eyebrow. Your lips formed into a frown as you reached out and touched it.

Ethan took notice as your face was full of sadness. "what's wrong pretty girl?"

"I don't like you going out at nighttime fighting, I don't want you to go out one night and not return. I miss you." He saw the tears in your eyes build up.

He didn't know how to answer at first, his hand still resting on your face while the other hand wiped your makeup. "I'm sorry, pretty girl. I didn't realize you felt like this. How about we talk about this more in the morning."

Your eyes were getting heavy as each minute passed, mindlessly nodding your head already forgetting the conversation. Ethan then helped you somewhat brush your teeth and get to bed, where a glass of water sat waiting for you on the nightstand.

Chugging half of it you climbed into bed smiling, "mmmh smells like my boyfriend" you grabbed his pillows burying your face in them. Ethan couldn't help but laugh at your actions.

He followed you into his bed, lying next to you, his arms wrapped around you pulling you closer. Your face buried into his neck as you moved to get comfortable. "I have the best boyfriend, ha-ha, spiider-man, my bug boy" he felt you lightly kissing his neck before sleep fully took over your body.

[awesomerextyphoon]

Change of View

Summary: You got fired, but one grocery run changed things.

Pairing: Slight Sam Wilson x Black Female Reader

Rating: 16+/Teen

Word Count: 697

A/N: I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. I had to deal with some things.

Back to Masterlist

“Hey, sis. So, I got fired. Again. Please call me when you have the chance. Thanks.” You pressed send hoping she would actually call you back soon for once. 

You just had to forget your umbrella in the office that night and catch your boss cheating on his pregnant wife with your ‘hot’ coworker. 

Now you’re the one paying. 

“Fucking asshole.” You muttered trudging your willful feet past the crosswalk. 

This was the 3rd job in eight months! You were an avid saver, but still! 

Why did this shit always happen to you?! 

The gentle stream of raindrops did well to conceal your attempts of not bawling as you made your way to the metro.

You decided to buck up and make some homemade ice cream tonight. You needed today to end on a better note. 

–––––––

Walking down the aisle bleary-eyed, you were lost to the outside world. Until you bumped into a wall of muscle in the middle of the aisle. 

“Ow! I’m so sorry!” You rubbed your forehead in embarrassment.

The man reached out his hand, “No, it’s okay! Are you alright?”

Taking his hand, you got up and dusted yourself off, “Yeah, I’m fine-“ you gasped stopping dead in your tracks to see Sam Wilson, Captain America, staring back at you with concern.

Sam raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure?” 

You forgot to talk. You forgot to move. You just stood there staring and gaping like a deer caught in headlights.

“Um, you can close your mouth now.” 

“Shit!” You swore under your breath hoping he wouldn’t think you a dumbass. 

You had to make up for lost ground, “I didn’t know I would walk into Captain America. I should’ve worn better makeup.”

“Heh. I’m hardly worth the trouble.” Sam chuckled while rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You were a little taken aback by his easy-going nature

“So, what brought on these tears?” Sam asked noting your puffy eyes and slouchy shoulders. 

“I got fired for almost outing a cheater. I came here to get ingredients for homemade ice cream.” 

“Sorry about your job,” Sam consoled before his slyly suave smirk, “But, homemade ice cream sounds like a good time.” 

“Well, I got a sweet tooth and I’m a picky eater so this comes with the territory.” You admitted now being used to seeing such a person. Your eyes widened at his somewhat hidden weariness through the bags under his eyes and furrowed eyebrows.

“I just got back from a long mission and the press keeps hounding me comparing me to Steve and whatnot.” 

“It’s hard sometimes, you know?” He murmured. 

Even Captain America can have a bad day.

Maybe a cookie will help.

“Um,” you reached into your handbag, “I have a cookie if you want it. I was gonna save it for later, but looks like you need it more than I do.” Handing the hero a large glazed cookie. 

“It’s Lemon Ricotta.” You blurted worried he might think it poison. 

“Thanks.” Sam accepted the cookie, but not before his hand whispered against yours.

He cautiously took a bite before moaning deeply, “Damn!” 

You were surprised no one came over, he was so loud. 

“This is one of the best cookies I’ve ever had!” Sam praised.

“C’mon, it’s not that good.” You deflected shifting your eyes to the floor.

“Seriously! I’ve had one $200 cookie Stark has at his lavish parties and it couldn’t hold a candle to this!” 

Your face brightened at the compliment, “Thanks! It’s one of my favorite recipes.”

“I’ll bet,” Sam concurred after finishing the cookie.  

His eyes lit up for a moment before grabbing a pen and paper, “Hey, if you’re looking for a new job, I know a former colleague who's looking for an apprentice.” Scribbling a contact and then offering to you,  “The pay is amazing!” 

“Just say Sam Wilson referred you.” He winked. 

You took the paper and placed it into your handbag without (somehow) blustering.

Sam turned to leave, happy you would at least consider, “Have a good one.” 

“Thanks again!” 

“Good luck.” 

With a confident breath, you resumed shopping. You had a good feeling that things were finally looking up.

[frnchgirls]

the bikeriders!patrick zweig headcanons

18+, slight nsfw/suggestive content towards the end!

✿ probably met danny in a gen ed class at college and immediately hit it off

✿ "coincidentally" runs into him around campus all the time

✿ but the reality is he probably memorized his entire schedule and purposefully goes to see him cause he has no other friends

✿ when he found out danny was going to chicago to write his book about the vandals, naturally he packed his bags and told him he was coming with

✿ a bit of a drifter like benny, but instead of disappearing and telling no one, he stays within the vandals' circle and goes where he's needed/accepted

✿ he sleeps in his car when he's not couch surfing

✿ stays at cal's and helps him with mechanic stuff as payment, but when cal eventually kicks him out, he sleeps on the floor at kathy's or at yours

✿ the discourse on how to pronounce his last name never ends

✿ cal and zipco pronounce it correctly right away, then kathy gets it

✿ when johnny hears them say it properly for the first time he's like "hold on, the fucker's name is 'zveig'?"

✿ and when johnny gets the hang of it, benny starts saying it right too but not without a lot of conscious effort... definitely does a dramatic little head shake when he says it

✿ sonny chooses to pronounce it wrong even though he knows the correct pronunciation, just to get under pat's skin

✿ patrick just gives up correcting him at some point

✿ he's so nice to you, so sickeningly sweet it's actually pathetic

✿ if you're not already someone's girl, boy are you in for it

✿ and even if you are, he still unabashedly flirts with you cause he sucks :]

✿ "you look hot today." but he says that every day! "that dress makes your eyes pop." but ask him what color your eyes are, and he couldn't tell you! "did you do something new with your hair?" no, you didn't!

✿ literally begs the guys to be his wingmen (they say no)

✿ not a dollar to his name but still tries so hard to give you nice things

✿ surprises you with a bouquet of wildflowers that he picked on the side of the road

✿ folds the bar napkins into little origami animals for you

✿ "buys" you drinks but secretly puts it on johnny's tab

✿ speaking of drinks... when he's drunk, he gets even more embarrassing

✿ drags you to the open space next to the jukebox to dance with him, holding you in his big strong stupid arms

✿ when he's playing darts or pool with the guys he says "this one's for the most beautiful girl in the bar :)" before every shot/throw

✿ but a solid 70% of the time, you're the only girl there...

✿ and he misses <3

✿ patrick agreed to play games that they were betting on despite having no money?? so at the end of the night he owes each of them like 30 bucks

✿ they usually end up forgetting about the money and cut him some slack, because he's patrick, but still

✿ he's so sad and dejected and drunkenly walks over to you with crocodile tears and is like "doll, will you lend me 200 dollars?"

✿ he had no real intention of taking your money so when you refuse, he smirks a little. it's all part of his plan

✿ "ah man, this night sucks. but y'know what would make it better?"

✿ "what would make it better, patrick?"

✿ "a kiss... from a sweet girl."

✿ and he's pouting and looking at you with those big green eyes and a kiss is a lot more reasonable than 200 bucks so how can you say no this time?

✿ grins that signature toothy zweig grin when you kiss him on the cheek, and he leans into you

✿ you drive him home cause no one else will

✿ during the drive he confesses slouched over against the dashboard that he likes you and wants to make love to you and that you're the only person in the group that doesn't treat him like shit

✿ "patrick, you're drunk. we're not havin' this conversation right now." you remind him

✿ but no, he insists, promises that he feels the exact same way even when he's sober

✿ you ignore him and walk him up the stairs to your room, letting him have the bed this time

✿ but he catches your wrist and asks you to stay, says he won't be able to sleep without you under the sheets with him

✿ you begrudgingly oblige, as long as he doesn't try anything

✿ and he doesn't, well... sort of

✿ not unless you count him trapping you under his heavy frame and whispering filthy shit to you in his sleep

✿ "lemme make you feel good, 's all i want. just wanna treat you right. make you cum on my fuckin' cock. please, pretty girl?" he breathes lazily against your ear

✿ try all you might but there's no way you're pushing him off of you, you just have to lay there hot and restless until he eventually shuts up

✿ and oh how the tables turn, cause in the morning when he sobers up, it's you who's asking him to fuck

[hollowtones]

When will Gameclam 4 be on YouTube

You owe me 200 bucks and I want to see it on my desk by the end of the week

[sandinthemachine]

No running by the pool

Summary: You and Soap make a bet at Ghost's expense...they really shouldn't leave you two alone

Warnings: This is just a fun little one so not much. You and Soap are little shits, Ghost nearly blows a gasket, Price is exhausted dad and poor Gaz gets caught in the middle

Words: 858

guys i can't title things to save my life, if you have a better title id love to hear it

-

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"Ya should've seen it, Captain, the perfect ricochet right through his head," Soap bragged.

"That's because I shot it," Gaz interjected, shaking his head, and Price laughed, taking a swig of his beer. It had been a long mission, and the 141 were relaxing at a hotel for the night before the plane ride home. It was the off-season, and they had the whole place to themselves, choosing to recline and chat by the pool. Price had kept his holsters on, but Soap and Gaz had chosen the casual route, looking for all the world like a couple of college kids on spring break in their jeans and tight t-shirts.

He is pulled out of his reverie by you trotting up to the group, squeezing in between Gaz and Soap.

Soap laughs at you. "Eager to hear more of my heroic stories, are we?"

You chuckle, scratching the back of your head. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

He laughs even harder, slapping you on the shoulder. "Good lass."

Price just shakes his head at you before turning to talk to Gaz. You take the opportunity to lean in, whispering into Soap's ear. "You owe me 200 bucks."

His eyes double in size from behind his beer. "You didn't-"

You grin. "I did."

Soap snorts, slapping his hand over his mouth as he swallows. "Where is-"

You're interrupted by a splutter as Price chokes on his drink, spitting beer all over Gaz's face, but the poor man doesn't even notice, too busy staring open-mouthed to the side.

You and Soap whirl around to look, you inching behind him just slightly.

Ghost has just walked out of the hotel, eyes scanning the pool. He's wearing his full mask, balaclava and hard plastic both.

And the entire thing is neon pink.

Soap HOWLS, doubling over himself and spilling beer everywhere, completely exposing you.

Ghost whips around and bellows your name before charging at you, and with a scream you sprint away, leaving Soap to collapse on the ground as he laughs even harder.

You rush to the pool house, barreling around it like the devil himself is on your heels. You spot a stack of crates and jump up them, leaping onto the roof and kicking out at the crate stack just as Ghost reaches them. The crates wobble and collapse, sending him backwards with an angry yell, and you pull yourself up, running across the roof with a mad laugh.

"Y/N!" You freeze at Price's commanding voice and turn to see him marching up to the side of the building, Gaz and Soap trailing behind him.

Ghost stalks around the building, looking for all intents and purposes like a bull in a gladiator's ring. Well, except for the pink. You giggle again, and he glares at you.

Price says your name again, pulling your attention away from the fuming phantom. "Get down from there. Now."

You shake your head vigorously. "Uh-uh, no way, sir, Ghost is gonna murder me."

"Damn right I will," Ghost growls, walking closer to the wall, and you squeal, pushing yourself further back onto the roof.

"Ghost. Stand down," Price commands.

You laugh. "Yeah, come on Ghost, it wasn't even my fault, it was Soap's idea."

Soap's eyes round into saucers as the hulking man turns to face him. He forces a smile. "Just want you to let loose a bit, Lt, ya look like you could use a little-NO!" He cuts himself off with a screech as Ghost leaps at him, the pair sprinting back towards the pool.

Unfortunately, Soap isn't as fast as you, and within two seconds Ghost tackles him to the ground, rolling and flinging the poor Scotsman straight into the pool with a splash.

Price burrows his face into his hands, and you laugh hysterically, shaking on your legs until one of your feet slips and you squeal, sliding right down the roof. You grab at the gutters as you go over, leaving your legs dangling.

And Ghost is there. Of course Ghost is there. You look down just to see him looking back at you, his hands wrapping around your ankles with a chuckle before he yanks, wrenching your grip free and pulling you right down into his arms.

You smile up at him. "Uhh...sorry?"

But it's too late to beg for mercy as the man marches you right over to the pool and opens his arms, letting you drop into the water ass-first.

You splutter as you come back up, treading water next to Soap. "You happy now?"

He sticks his hands up, sinking into the water for a second. "Hey, it was your idea."

You both start laughing, splashing around before you see Ghost in the corner of your eye, still standing at the edge of the pool. You look back at Soap and give him a wink. He winks back.

In one motion the both of you twist, bringing your arms together and hurling a wave of dirty pool water all over Ghost's pants.

His long-suffering groan is drowned out as you both cackle.

A job well done, if you do say so yourself.

-

-

-

A/N I thought of this the other day and I couldn't help myself, the thought was too funny. It's torture Ghost season, and reader and Soap are star players.

Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Love you guys :)

[fictional-teakettle]

Waiting for the Cocoa to Cool ☕

In which Gus gets angsty about the whole becoming-a-villain thing, and Pen makes him cocoa. She also makes him laugh himself silly.

⚠️ This is a ticklefic! If that ain't your thing, kindly move along ⚠️

🫂 Pairing: Lee!Gus, Ler!Pen (100% platonic, 200% consensual, sfw)

‼️CW/TW: Gus curses like a sailor, you have been warned 😂 If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add (to this piece any/or any work in the future), please let me know!

While I adore both, I'm much more comfy with writing as a medium than drawing. So I thought I'd write a quick lil ticklefic to introduce Gus a bit more organically than my typical habit of infodumping. 😅 This fic ended up being much longer than I anticipated, but hey - what's wrong with extra tickles? Nothing I can think of.

Hope you enjoy! -🐧

"You want some cocoa, hun?"

I don't wait for an answer - I've already made two mugs. Gus will never refuse cocoa (not my cocoa, anyway).

Besides, he's staring out at the rain, which means he's too lost in thought to register anything I say anyway. His reverie only breaks when I set his mug beside him on the end table, directly in his line of vision, and plop myself down on the sofa beside him.

"Did you tell them about me?"

Look at that. Bailey owes me five bucks. He thought it'd take Gus a couple minutes before he started fretting about my new project.

"I gave them a little introduction." I pat his hand. "There's an awful lot to know about you, hun."

"Right, but did you tell them about... you know..."

How 'bout that! Bailey owes me ten.

"Vaguely." I set my mug down on the coffee table. "I said you went off the deep end for a bit."

Gus manages a mirthless little scoff of a chuckle. "There's an understatement."

"I mean, that's what happened," I shrug. "You just... lost your head for a while."

"I dunno, Pen. I think there was a little more to it than that."

"Mm. That's a topic for future posts."

Gus looks away.

He's right, of course - there's a lot more to it. Just... not a lot that matters to us now, in my cozy living room, listening to the rain patter on the window. The only problem is that Gus can't stay present to save his life.

But that's why I made the cocoa. Nothing heals like cocoa, in my humble opinion (especially my cocoa).

Unfortunately it's still too hot to drink. I gotta think of some other way to distract him before he starts ruminating on-

"Are you sure you don't wanna start with Hazel?"

I stifle a sigh. "Gus, love, we talked about this, remember?"

"I'm just saying, the villain isn't the one who deserves a-"

"You're not the villain."

"Well, I was sure acting like one!"

"Because you were high as a kite on Dr. Jekyll's axe-crazy-monster juice."

"That I made myself!"

"You didn't intend to drink it." I lean back. "You just needed it for... you know. Vengeance..."

Gus throws me a flat look. He's right, this conversation isn't really going a productive direction.

"Look," I try again, " You're not in that story anymore. You were never even supposed to be in that story in the first place. If anyone deserves a soft epilogue, in a new place, it's you."

"But so do you." Gus meets my gaze for the first time in the whole conversation. "Your life got fucked up, too. If you're gonna go to all this trouble, you deserve to focus on your own epilogue."

"Why do you think you're sitting in my living room?" I squeeze his hand. "You're my comfort character, Gus. We're in this together."

"What's that?"

"Comfort character? It means you make me feel safe."

He blinks. "...Oh."

"You're my comfiest comfort character." I scoot closer and rest my head on his shoulder.

I can feel a bit of the tension in his muscles ease at the cuddle. "You're makin' me sound like a stuffed animal," he mutters good-naturedly.

"Mm."

"I think Hazel's a lot better at comforting that I am though, personally..."

This man. Cannot. Let anything go.

Which means it's time to switch tactics.

"Hey, you know what I forgot to tell them about you?"

"I mean, Hazel's a fairy godmother." He's no longer listening. "Comfort is her whole-" At least he isn't until right about here, when he freezes mid-phrase.

He hadn't even noticed me slip my arm behind his back, but he's definitely noticed that I'm now walking the fingers of both hands up his sides.

"Don't let me interrupt you, hun..."

"Ohhh no, you don't!"

"You were saying...?"

"Pen, cheheh- cut that out!"

"No, no, continue, I insist!"

"Pen!" His voice cracks even on this one syllable.

"I'm just demonstrating a little detail I forgot to mention to our readers."

Finally, twisting to face me, he manages to snag both my wrists and hold them still. "Wh-What do they need to know that for?!"

"What do they need to know what for?" I smile sweetly.

"That I'm-" He's so flustered he just barely catches himself.

I flash him a wide grin. "You wanna tell 'em, honey?"

He just squirms - struggling with an uncharacteristically silly grin of his own that he doesn't entirely seem to realize he's making. "Over my cold, dead-"

Mm, I don't need to hear the end of that threat. I easily break my wrists from his grasp and set to work on his adorable little belly.

The detail I forgot to tell you is that Gus is devastatingly ticklish.

"WaitwaitWAIT Pehehen, staHAhp!!"

Gus isn't a loud guy. Even his full-out cackling barely makes it above most folks' normal speaking voice. But what he lacks in volume he makes up for in intensity - he's got the most contagious, helpless laughter I've ever heard in my life. The best I can describe it is quietly maniacal.

"Stopstopstopit-getOFFmehehe!!" He also has an adorable tendency to babble incoherently when he gets nervous - or flustered, in this case. Especially if I get 'im right up under his ribs...

"ACK! Pehehen! Penstop I cahan't- Ihi-"

The nice thing about this spot is that I can wiggle my fingers right up under his diaphragm, so his own giggling starts to tickle.

"I can't st-stop! AHahaha- plehehehease!!"

It's definitely a spot to use sparingly, else he'll run out of air. I give him another few tweaks before sitting back, beaming as he catches his breath.

"This is... heh... c-completely unnecessary," he mutters, his hands wavering defensively over his midsection.

"If only there was something you could say to make me stop," I sigh, throwing a sorrowful glance to the ceiling. In reply I receive his best attempt at a scowl (which, since he's still grinning like an idiot, isn't a very convincing attempt).

Gus is so sensitive - both physically and emotionally - that I'd never dare touch him if we didn't have a safeword. But I've never in our entire friendship heard him use it. This boy soaks up physical affection like a ticklish little sponge.

And right now, in my expert opinion, he could use a little more of it.

I can't help but coo over the way his tummy deflates in anticipation as I hover one hand over his waist. All I have to do is rest my fingertips against the soft fabric of his sweater, and he collapses into helpless giggles.

It occurs to me, I don't think I've mentioned Gus' accent yet either. It's little more than a slight lilt most of the time, but when he's flustered like this becomes much more pronounced.

I'm not quite sure what it's supposed to be, exactly - technically it's Drearish, the regional dialect from the fictional village where he grew up. Whoever directed the movie he came from seemed to be going for some vague German-Slavic-Transylvanian hodgepodge.

Regardless, it's cute as heck. Especially when he's so overwhelmed that he starts trying to curse me out in Drearish.

Not that he doesn't have a perfectly sufficient vocabulary of English curse words to throw at me...

"I svehehear to - shihit, fuck! - I vill breheak your FUHUCKING - heheheh! - your fingers!! Your... dammit, getoffme!!"

...But the trick is to sneak my hands under his sweater and start scribbling directly against the soft pudge of his lower tummy. That really does him in.

"What did you just call me?!"

"I saheheh-" [incomprehensible] "you fuhuckin'-" [unintelligible] "if you don't-" [...frankly this could be English or Drearish, it's so garbled by laughter I can't tell].

"Sorry, didn't catch that," I tease.

He lapses into silent laughter for a few seconds. "Okay, okahahay, enough! Enough!"

Enough isn't our safeword (that would be nightshade) but it's kind of an informal one since he doesn't use it very often. It's become a code for I'm getting tired.

So I withdraw my hands from beneath his sweater, and start rubbing slow circles on his tummy. Even this still tickles him, but only enough to elicit soft little breathless chuckles. I'm mostly doing it because his tummy is just so irresistibly soft and warm... but also my hand is trapped so tightly beneath both his arms that I'm starting to lose feeling in my fingers.

Our cocoa has gone cold by the time we return to our mugs. Neither of us mind very much.

[deluweil]

To be honest the way part of the fandom has treated this Tommy character as a god makes me dislike him more. Unfortunately the Buck bi arc was tainted for me because it all feels force. Also what doesn't help is that Eddie was to much involved in that storyline.

The way people are acting like it's a perfect relationship and yet we barely saw them together feels just weird.

Also I don't like how some literally push Eddie away for this new white man.

This is Taylor Kelly all over again. The sad part is that the season is short and people wAnt to to spend their time giving more to the new guy.

I hope him and Marisol are gone, but I'm afraid. These two characters took the joy out of the Buck and Eddie storyline for me.

The fandom, I think, in this case, is definitely the problem here,

Lou is completely unassuming and enjoying the process and being a buddie shipper just like us - if one actually bothers to read the interviews and not just pick and choose what to talk about.

That is what makes me like Lou.

The fandom has somehow glorified Tommy's character after a couple of episodes and yeah it rubs the wrong way, because, what about the story we had so far?

Is season 7 a reset to 911? and everything that came before that doesn't count? Why not just make it 911 abc pilot then?

I don't think that's the case, but I think the last minute switch between Buck and Eddie kind of ruined it for the Tim because, yes, in a way it feels forced and out of left field.

Supposed that Buck was indeed vying for Tommy's attention, why do it like that? and why involve Eddie in the first place?

I have a lot of questions and my main problem here is not that Buck is experimenting with Tommy, it's the way they practically propelled this ship off the cliff into a dangerous spin, they went from zero to 200 in a second. - That is not how you build a relationship.

You don't try to figure out what you want, mess up the first date, then invite said date to an apology coffee and then invite him to family wedding on the way. It just doesn't work that way.

I may be straight, but I have gay and bi and lesbian friends, neither one of them has ever brought a second or even a third date to so much as a friends get together before they were sure that this is something that would last, before they brought the intended victim to be judged by friends and family.

And people who talk about Tommy as being established in the 118 family, that is not true. He has a connection with Chimney in that that he owes him his life and an acquaintance with Hen, who is clearly not very fond of him, because of obvious past she had with him and their old house before Bobby came into the picture. - Remember - Chimney was her ONLY lifeline in that house.

Tommy was not a liked character before.

Arguably Buck had more history with Taylor than he did with Tommy (which is none at all) - But Taylor is a strong opinionated and often self-serving woman (not unlike Buck mind you), emphasis on woman. - That is the only reason she never stood a chance. Because the writers could have made her and Buck the greatest love story this show has seen, but they continuously managed to ruin any fondness for any female LI to ever grace that set.

And this season is short, to bring in a new LI kinda defeats the purpose of re-establishing the team and this show, because it does feel the same as any of Buck's old relationships that were being pushed for the benefit of 'god forbid Buck actually learns how to be alone and healthy and happy' - the only thing that changed in Buck this season is his sexuality and nothing else, and that vexes me.

My problem is not with Tommy, it's the perpetuation of 'poor baby Buck' society. - I love Oliver and I love Buck - I am tired of the ever repeating pattern of forgiveness for his self serving ways without any accountability that we keep seeing.

I don't think Buck's or even Eddie's firsts or you know what? even seconds should be each other, I am more than happy to make this journey with them, but let it be a marathon not a sprint to the finish line - they knew they would get renewed for another season, they could have written and built it better than what we got - because the moment they switched gears after the second episode, the story became written in the same messy last minute way both S4 and most of S5 were written.

There is no grand plan, at this point they are merely winging it and see where the wind takes them. - And that is idiotic, they had SO MUCH TIME to make this a well written story with the strike and long break after that, to write as they film is lazy and stupid and mostly childish.

And yes this is Taylor all over again, not in that they are the same type of people, but that Buck is jumping head first into a relationship without actually knowing how he got there. - Bobby said that himself - and it is the same, because who in their right mind invite a second (kinda) date to a family event? Like dude have you ever dated before? Do you how this works?

It is a LOT of pressure and not even for Buck himself - because he brought this on himself - but rather for Tommy (aka the intended victim) to be first introduced to the family after a couple of dates when he himself has no idea where he and Buck are standing.

Marisol, has indeed sucked the joy out of the Eddie's story, I don't get why do either of the boys had to be in a relationship starting this season to begin with. Like, she is literally a handbag, the token hetero symbol, so to speak, what she is doing there? is beyond me.

The catholic guilt of her being a nun is bullshit, and as Bobby said himself, Eddie has no problem committing to certain people/things. She serves no purpose this season other than a seat warmer/ glorified babysitter since Buck is otherwise engaged.

They could have gone for Eddie finding his way in the department, Eddie dealing with his mommy issues, Eddie trying to figure out what and who he wants in his life, Eddie trying to navigate Chris' terrible teenage years.

They could have explored the fact that a guy going with his supposed gf/wife in the golf course checking Eddie's hot ass (6X17) - Oh wait, they were going to... the ground for Eddie's coming out was all laid out and they took a sharp turn to left field in the second episode of S7 and made it all about Buck again, because the Natalia actress couldn't come?? what kind of a weak ass reason is that?

And yes, the cliche of receiving the odd white man out (who played a controversial role in early seasons) rather than the regular casted poc male or the guest starring woman, for that matter, better is all kind of f-ed up, but no one would talk about that, of course. 👀

Anyway, I am hoping that whatever is coming next will be worthy of our time and attention because so far we got about more of the same as far as Buck and Eddie are concerned - except that Buck has just broaden his variety and has a bigger pallet of mate choosing at his disposal.

I have two very close bi friends, so I know how their minds work, because God knows they share with me more than I ever wanted to know lol. And one of them is watching 911 with me and she is happy for the rep as well, but unhappy with how it was developed too.

At the moment, I have decided to put any Buck and Eddie topics aside and just want to get the LONG AWAITED Madney wedding, if anyone deserve a happy ending, it's them. ❤️

[inkedeye2345]

Got on the wrong foot Pt.6

Tales of the hidden city (Leo's part of the episode)

rise Leo x OC

(Warning: non but cursing)

Leo's pov: "Hidden city zoo" "ohhh luxury resort" "battle nexus" "ohhh witch town!" "I could really use a massage" we all pointed to the map

"alright we narrowed down our list to 200 activities I don't want to spend my whole day in the hidden city voting so I say we each do our own thing" we all said our goody good bye and I get to spend some time with my new girlfriend

until I see Donnie grab Kyle and talk to her and I walk closer "hey Dee whatcha guys tal-" "sorry nardo I needed to talk to Kyle for a moment so can I borrow her for a moment?" I was confused and I kept my smirk "ya go ahead" I walk away (ofc he's going to eavesdrop he's Leo what do you think he is a hob-)

I had an idea so Kyle would understand right I hide behind a stand and tried to hear what they're saying "okay I know my dumb dumb brother so if you or him get in trouble call me you have my number okay" I see Kyle nod her head and Donnie pats her head so I walk in "hey you guys done yet?"

i see Kyle smile sweetly I look at Donnie and I glare at him he looks at me with a straight face and April grabbed his arm "come on Donnie I want to go to witch town!" "Ya Donnie go to witch town" Donnie glares at me "scoff I will goodbye nardo" and he looks at Kyle and does a small smile and pats her head and walks away

I wrapped my arm around Kyle "you okay" I look down at her and smirk "of course I'm okay im Leonardo the nexus champion" she giggles but damn i needed that to calm me down and we walk to a stand as we see a map and I opened it "whoa food, chronic , and fun in the sun at the HIRSUTE' resort and spa you know I have been busting my show with the heroing lately time for a chilling day with for a epic day with chillaxian with my girl!" I hear Kyle laugh and cheer

(time skip)

We got to Hirsute resort and I was shocked

"whoaaa" and I whistle looking at the stuff that's going on but i didn't know why Kyle had a towel covering her body, glasses on, and a straw hat covering her face she had that when we got here

she kept a hold of my shirt for some reason but we kept on walking and we saw a little buck inside and I bent down "hey bub it is bub isn't it? Which way to your lounges lounge chair?" And the buck pointed to an outside beach and I grab kyle's hand and drag her to the seats as I sit down and look up at her "come on mi amor you can take that off no one's going to judge you" she shakes her head

"it's not that you know everyone in the city knows me cause I used to be a foot soldier and a nexus champion before you!" I look at her and shrug

"come on for me por favor" she hesitated and nods her head let's just say I wasn't ready

I immediately got up stole someone's cardigan robe and put it on them covering her I was a green mess and sat her down and sat down next to her clinging on her

(Something like this just imagine it) I sit up "time to work on the base tan" I threw my hat and got back to my position with Kyle until she taps me and I turn around to see two unicorns and I was annoyed who do they think they are ruining me and my girlfriends time together

"Excuse me buds you're in my sun" and the guys looked pissed "sorry sir and ma'am this is a privet club members only" when they said that I wrapped my arm around both of the unicorns neck "look friend like the Poca shells by the way, me and my girl have been hearing all week and we need a little RNR so can we just look the other way?” I put money in the crack of his arm

I see Kyle get up taking her hat and sun glasses off “can you pls let go of my boyfriend…” they threw me out of the place “ow that was not chillaxing” I rub my head and I see Kyle trying to get to me but a whole crowd asked for stupid shit and the buck guy was in front of me “why won’t you try the resort across the street” I look at where he’s pointed at smiling gasping until my smile drops

mane I see a scary ass resort as I walk in “the nerve of them treating a battle nexus champion that way!”

(time skip cause I’m to lazy)

I walk in the resort with my odachi resting in my shoulder and everyone is mesmerized and everyone came up to me the small buck “welcome sir! Coconut water?” He had a coconut drink in his tray as I grabbed it, drink it and threw it then the unicorns “voice towlet?” I grabbed the towel and rubbed it on my hair Then a girl fox “commentary beachside pedicure?” I then s e Kyle trying to get out of a crowd that are surrounding her

and I picked her up

(I know she got a nice ass not talking about the oc talking about it’s the girl and just pretend that’s how Leo picks her up)

“L-LEO!? How how did you-“ I cut her off “no te preocupes de eso hermosa” I make her sit down and I lay down between her legs (no it’s not getting sus yet calm down wait in one or three chapters)

(Idc if I’m putting to much photos)

(time skip)

everything was a disaster Kyle was being dragged around even tho she’s a enemy with the foot clan but people can’t understand that and I was fighting my alive hair that made me steal money and shit when I was asleep until I shaved my hair off getting mad at the short ass guy who gave me the hair and Kyle confessed to the crowd that she is not apart of the foot clan anymore

And when me and Kyle got outside telling them that it was the shirt guy they thought it was me and since they found out that Kyle isn’t apart of the foot clan so they took us to jail

but when we got there Donnie got pissed at me “HOW IN THE WORLD OF LOGIC DID YOU FUCKING GET KYLE IN JAIL!?!?!??!?!???!” I roll my eyes “look I took great care of her it’s not my fault you don’t fucking trust me” Raph decided to come in the mother fucking argument “look guys Raph doesn’t like it when we curse or argue” but me and Donnie kept on yelling at each other

“Guys stop…” i didn’t hear Kyle so we kept on yelling at each other “why don’t you trust me” “because you’re irresponsible and don’t think about others but you! You self centered piece of shit!” My eyes widened “Donnie!!” I hear Kyle and April yell “I’m saying the truth!” I felt Kyle cup my cheeks “he didn’t mean it okay I love you mi armor don’t listen to him pls don’t…” I hear her whisper I lean in her touch

Placing my hand on the back of hers and I felt her peck my lips and she smiles “you know that I’ll love you right…?” I nod my head

(time skip)

she was sitting down and I had my head on her lap until we see master splinter and Mikey in our jail well with disguises with a cake and master splinter gave me my odachi and I stood up and I picked Kyle up when i opened the portal

and I ran in with her in my arms and I also got the cake

(Hello so I hope you liked this one and the other ones too so I just wanted to say how come MY MOTHER F#CKING MEMES GET MORE LIKES THAN MY GOD DAMN ATORYS SURE SOME OF THEM MIGHT BE SHORT BUT IT TAKES ME A LONG ASS TIME TO MAKE THEM *clears throat* i don’t mean that stuff *kai you said nothing bad so stfu and NON BINARY UP!*…my friends right I am schizophrenic…now let’s put that aside so it’s midnight and i can’t believe I’m trying to make these everyday for you guys to enjoy ruining my fricking 8 hours of sleep but I may not be able to post the rest of the story’s because there’s a thunderstorm or just a storm for short but it’s going to be for a week so my lights and everything will go off so I might not be able to post so ya 🥲 but I’ll do my best to make you guys happy that’s just a reminder that I may not post for a week probably but if I do post that means IM BACK BABY HAHAHA-….what was I doing again? *my lesbian friend: you’re going to tell them about the so-* OH YA so the song until I found you idk the person who made it so just go find it on Spotify- why in the f#ck is this note so f#cling long *my lesbian friend:that’s on you dumbass* me:🖕…. So ya that’s all I’m now going to knock the f#ck out so have a good day or night and god bless you beautiful people byeee 💙)

PREVIOUS NEXT

[cowboyjen68]

Taxes. You CAN do this!

To those of you who have not filed your taxes (Deadline is tomorrow) or who are putting it off because it is too complex I have some good news. I paid a CPA for years, sometimes 200.00 or more to do my taxes. My parents helped me or did them for years and then, once married, I was convinced they were too complicated for me to handle. Most of us, even me with three jobs, a chiild and owning a home etc, are eligible for free tax preperation. Certainly we should not be paying 200 some bucks to some service that is just following along the same form we could be doing for ourselves.

TODAY go to irs.gov. There is an application to ask for an extension. FILL IT OUT. Get yourself more time to avoid loosing money in fees and penalties.

The IRS site will ask you some questions to help you find a FREE or discounted service to file your taxes on line. Look for a site that does your state (some list specific states and others say all states) for free if you file your federal with them and you can do it all at once.

If you don't have access to your tax records from last year you can contact the company you used last year OR follow the link they provide to access/set up your IRS account. This is good to have in any case because there is lots of good information about your income etc on there. It takes some back and forth on your phone/computer (you need a smart phone for quick IDME set up but there are other options). You can also get all your information off of the hard copies from the previous year.

Once you choose the right tax prep account from the IRS suggstions you simply follow the easy instructions and match my the form number listed on the tax papers mailed to you by your bank, employers, etc. Match the box numbers as you go. It is really a easy process if you just follow the numbers of each box. You will need your checking account and bank routing number for direct deposit AND your Adjusted Gross income (on last years tax form OR available from the IRS/you preparer) AND the "over payment" ie REFUND From state and federal last year. (Also available on your irs site or on the forms form last year).

They email and or text confirmation and if there is an issue they give you the specific space that needs correcting.

You CAN do this!

ALSO> rememeber to have your tax exemption 0 going forward to insure taxes are withheld all year so you are less likely to owe. (DO not claim yourself).

AND remember you can deduct your Vehicle registration from many state taxes (you will need the title OR at least the cost you pay, year, and WEIGHT of the model you own-I was able to google the weight using the year and model).

If you get hung up the IRS also lists free services to help you. Many libraries and local social sevices entities will have information on the free filing help.

[trollprincess]

Okay, so I did the math. Because of the car problems, I’m only a couple hundred bucks where I’m supposed to be. I’m $70 in the red in my bank account because of my car insurance. I still owe payments for Patreon and Libsyn for the podcast, and to put gas in my car, and to get Professor’s food. (I used his last half-cup yesterday.) So it comes out to about $200 or so at least just to keep me going until payday this week.

I hate to sound like I’m begging, and I apologize, but I guess I sort of am, because I’m incredibly stressed out right now trying to deal with this. I’d ask my family, but honestly they’re just as broke as I am right now. So if you can spare a few bucks this Pride month for a bisexual neurodivergent who nearly broke down crying at one of her three jobs yesterday, it would very much help.

And now to pay with the one thing I do have - dog photos!

[rebecca-lotto]

$40 to get this banger skin

+ 20 tier skips, 200 coins iirc 2,000 coins, an echo skin , and the premium battle pass if you don't already have it .

im so conflicted .

like , d.va's my main tank since ow 1 , and this skin goes so h a r d . it'd be a crime for me to not have it!

then again , it's 40 bucks for a skin + some coins & tier skips ....... on one hand this'll help prevent burnout on prestige tiers and just be a general time saver...

on the other hand , it's $40 fucking bucks. and i only really want this skin from the damn pack!!!

[clocks-are-round]

aww, i forgot about this. bruh’s great. definitely would love tumblr. enjoy this chaotic teen sibling of caboose. and the other notes that were on the documents. let me know if you guys want more snippets of caboose’s siblings that never made it into full fics (yet?). the reds and blues used their Thanks For Saving Chorus money which does not last any of them long lol

both written november 2021.

——

“Are you one of Caboose’s sisters?”

“More like ‘sibling’. but yeah. I’m Bruh.”

Tucker remembered Caboose mentioning them now. They were the youngest, with their twin, whatever his name was. He couldn’t keep track of all of Caboose’s siblings he had met, let alone the ones he hadn’t. “Bruh, huh? That’s a pretty different name.”

They nodded. “Yea.”

Tucker waited. “So is there a story behind that, or…?”

Bruh tilted their head. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“…You’re trying to make me more curious.”

“Tell you what. Fork over a thousand and you unlock my origin story.”

“A thousand dollars?” Tucker raised his eyebrows. Bold kid.

They rolled their eyes. “Please. I know you guys are all loaded. You wanna know or not?”

“I’ll just ask Caboose.”

“He doesn’t know.”

Was that a bluff? Either way, he wasn’t transferring a thousand dollars to some teen to learn the meaning behind their name.

——

“You’d blackmail a child?”

“So you’re a child now. Ten minutes ago you were trying to weasel a thousand dollars out of me.”

“It’s just the second half of my spawn name.”

“Your spawn name?”

“Yeah. I didn’t vibe with the pre-generated username, so I customized it.”

“…just say you changed your name.”

“Nah.”

“What was your given name?”

“One, rude. Two— thousand dollars.”

“You’re asking for a thousand dollars? You’re trying that again?”

“To know my dead name? No, I said two thousand dollars.”

“Seriously??”

“Hey, I gave a really big hint. Not my fault you’re stupid.”

——

half of caboose’s trans siblings: i mean i don’t mind telling you my dead name as long as you never call me it.

the other half: i mean, you’re never going to call me it so there’s not much point. if caboose gets confused again?— no, he can give a description. and you can figure out who he’s talking about from that. there is literally no reason for you to know my dead name.

bruh: money. then we’ll talk.

tucker: i can’t believe i spent three grand to learn your old name.

bruh: pretty stupid thing to make a big deal out of, huh. costs nothing to not be nosy.

grif: well that’s underwhelming

bruh: *shrugs* well you paid for it

simmons: goddammit! i should’ve been able to figure it out from that hint!

bruh: sucks to suck

simmons: 4 grand to learn my dead name?

bruh: nah.

simmons: 1 grand?

bruh: hey, you made your choice, man

simmons: 50 bucks?

bruh: i don’t waste my money on useless garbage i don’t want

simmons: *sighs*

donut: ooh sounds like a fashion line. [redacted].

bruh: you’re not supposed to say it. Saying it costs extra.

donut: aw shoot.

bruh: well, i’ll go easy on you since you didn’t realize. $200. not again, got it?

donut: *forks it over* man, i should copyright my name. every time someone in the universe says donut? i could make so much money from that.

bruh: hm… i’m gonna buy a train

donut: wut

sarge: dead name? i thought you said you’d make someone dead if i gave you their name. what would i do with your dead name? i’ve already got one and it doesn’t do diddly squat. just rots away with the carcasses of past family pets.

bruh: uhhhh sorry? i’m not gonna give you a refund though, that was on you.

doc: why did i pay for this

bruh: i dunno, man. guess you’re just stupid. i’ll give you a thousand of it back if you mock the others about it mercilessly for a week.

o’malley: *cackles* done!

bruh: except michael. he’s exempt from this mockery.

caboose: ohh yeah, that makes sense

bruh: michael, i was kidding. you can have your money back. but that’s not my name, okay?

caboose: well, duh! your name is Bruh! Like “brother” except you’re not a brother or a sister because you’re extra cool like that!

bruh: heck yes I am.

carolina and wash: *try very hard not to strangle the others. it was their money. it was their choice to collectively give this child 20 grand*

*bruh buys a bunch of train cars & some land and makes a caboose family vacation home out of them*

when caboose gets confused and calls someone by their dead name the others have stopped referring to them as “dead names” because caboose’s immediate reaction is panic that his sibling is dead.

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

A new work, Ace Auditor by TJade, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Asexuality, Romance, Happy Ending, Fluff, Light Angst, very very light, Internalized Acephobia, very minor but it's there"

You can read it here:

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NSFW works are below the cut :].

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