#you never saw anything
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So my brain thought up this game while I slept the other night, and I don’t know what else to do with it other than to post it here.
It’s a 3D survival game, visually similar to Last of Us, Red Dead Redemption and A Way Out, and being co-op like the latter. I have never played any of those games (and have no intention to; not my cup of tea) and honestly had to look up the name of one of them, so I have no idea why my brain came up with this.
(Also, brains are prone to weird jumps in logic while dreaming, so bear with me)
The Story:
A class of high-schoolers (probably seniors, idk how the American school system works) take a school trip up to a mountainous forest reserve for a project of some kind. Everyone has to be in pairs so no one gets left behind, and somehow star footballer Connor gets paired up with “just-trying-to-survive-til-I-graduate” Michael.
Something is very not right with this forest. There are shacks that should be long abandoned and derelict but have signs of being lived in, or never being abandoned at all. Trails vanish under your feet without you noticing until you’re way off course. Old men passing by tell tales of people going missing without trace. There’s no birdsong, or any animal noises, at all.
Connor and Michael get very, very lost. The sun is going down. There’s no sign of a search party. Connor is sure they’ll be fine. His uncle Joshua is a ranger up here, and the school wouldn’t just abandon two of its students on a mountain, right? Michael, used to having no one looking out for him, starts to prepare to at least survive the night.
And that’s when things go to shit, because there’s a cult on this mountain. I don’t know what kind of cult, because frankly I’ve never been a religious person, but they’re there, and they want these boys, dead or alive. So said boys fucking run, and manage to lose them, but become even more lost in the process.
The sun rises. There’s still no sign of rescue. They didn’t have a lot of supplies to begin with, and now they’ve got even less. There’s a literal cult trying to kill them. If they’re gonna survive out here, they’re gonna have to get serious, and they’re gonna have to trust each other.
So it goes for a few days. They search for food and water, they try to find safe places to hide and shelter, they steal shit from the shacks (when the cultists aren’t there), they run/hide/defend themselves from cultists and the unaffiliated serial killer who apparently didn’t die when he fell off a cliff into the lake 30 years ago and has been picking off trail-walkers since (he was one of the old men earlier), they try to find ways to help rescuers find them without tipping off the cultists to their location, they look out for each other, they tend to each other’s wounds, and they start to open up to each other.
Connor puts himself under a lot of pressure to be the popular jock, to be the son that his dad wants. He’s gotten physically hurt playing football, and been told to suck it up and keep going, so much that he’s stopped telling people when he’s hurting. He’s literally bleeding through his shirt and can’t put too much weight on one leg, but he’s fine, really, no really, he’s fine, stop worrying about it, it’s nothing, he’s fine, shut up. He comes off as selfish from the jock persona, but he physically cannot put himself and his own needs first.
Michael doesn’t speak much, and it isn’t because he doesn’t want to. It’s that any time he tries to, he’s punished for it. He doesn’t ask for help because he’s never given it. He doesn’t speak up for himself because that gets him called a liar by adults and beat up by teens. He doesn’t give his all anymore, because it’s never good enough anyway. He doesn’t have friends, because no one stays around him for long. He has no plans for the future, because they’ll only fall through. He just does what he can to make it through another day, and today, that means keeping him and Connor alive.
One day, it’s lightly but steadily raining, and they’re huddled in a ditch under a blanket they’ve stolen. Despite the constant danger, the ache of barely healing injuries, and the fact they’re both grimy as hell by now, it’s… nice. Almost serene. Connor asks if he can admit something important to Michael. Michael gives the go-ahead.
Connor comes out as a transgirl to Michael. She’s terrified of admitting it to anyone, her dad, family, friends, god forbid the school and football team. Everything her life is is wrapped up in being a boy. But for all she knows, she could die later today. Her life, right now, is being with Michael, and even if he rejects her for it, she wants him to know.
Michael accepts her in a heartbeat. He’s antisocial, not an asshole. He hugs her, and asks if there’s a name she’d like him to call her. Connor is henceforth referred to as Vanessa for the rest of the game.
Michael then asks if he can admit something important to Vanessa. Vanessa gives the go-ahead. Michael says that he used to think he was gay, but as of two minutes ago, he’s gonna have to change that to bi. It takes five seconds for the penny to drop. There’s no pressure, he hurries to add. She kisses him anyway.
Realising they’re both hopped up on adrenaline (and probably teenager hormones), they agree to work all of that out when they aren’t fighting for their lives.
There’s a boss fight against the serial killer in a thunderstorm, up on the same cliffs from 30 years ago. Michael gets a grapple on him, but gets pushed to the ground and slashed in the side pretty badly by the old man’s knife. Before he can finish the job, Vanessa gets his attention, and shoots him with a shotgun. Yeah, he definitely didn’t survive that fall into the lake. She got a headshot.
Michael’s losing a lot of blood from the slash, so if they aren’t rescued soon, he might not make it. Vanessa tries to carry him to shelter, but is hindered by her injured leg, which Michael is groggily prioritising over himself despite her command to shut up. She finally finds an outcrop of the cliffs, and it takes literally everything (i.e. all relevant supplies in the inventory) to stifle Michael’s bleeding. The blood trail washes away in the heavy rain.
The next morning, they’re found. Vanessa freaks out and grabs the shotgun again, only to realise that it’s her uncle Joshua. She tries to tell him all that’s happened, with the cultists and the serial killer, but he doesn’t believe her, thinking “he” and “his” friend just left the trail for kicks and got lost. Joshua picks up a semi-conscious Michael, and starts to take the two back down the mountain.
After a short while, Vanessa stops, and pulls her shotgun on Joshua again.
See, something that’s been subtly hinted at all game is that the symbol of the cultists (I don’t know jack about cultists, so don’t ask me what the symbol is) has been mildly familiar to Vanessa, but she couldn’t put her finger on why. Now she does.
It’s tattooed on Joshua’s neck, just hidden under his uniform collar.
Joshua tries to tell her she’s being paranoid, she’s scared from being stuck here so long, there are no cultists, put the gun down.
He just found two lost, starving, badly injured teenagers, Vanessa tells him, and he hasn’t reached for his radio to call backup. So something’s up.
Joshua’s got backup, alright. Just not the type she’d been hoping for, as the cultists step out from the trees, in broad daylight this time. She can’t pull the trigger without hurting Michael, so she’s quickly overwhelmed and taken hostage too.
Joshua explains that he and “Connor’s” mother were born into this generations-old cult, but her mother “betrayed the faith” and went to live a normal life. Joshua pretended to join her, but instead used his job as ranger to “overlook” the cult establishing themselves on the reserve, as well as the old man.
They’d intentionally disoriented Vanessa and Michael and got them separated from their class, so they could “reconnect the bloodline” by encompassing “the eldest son” into their ranks, using Michael as a sacrifice to appease their god for “Connor’s” mother’s “transgressions”.
Michael has woken up enough to hear all of this, and our protagonists have both. Had. Enough.
Cue escape plan from the cultists’ hideout, followed by a boss fight with Joshua. I don’t really remember how this one played out, I think I was getting close waking up at this point. Regardless, it occurs to the two teenagers that while Joshua could get away with hiding a stealthy cult on this reserve, a forest fire would grab a lot more attention from the actual authorities. It’s too wet to start a real one, what with the heavy storm last night, but since the cultists know where they are anyway, it can’t hurt to use the more drastic attention-seeking methods.
(Don’t ask me where they got the fireworks. Probably the same place they got the shotgun)
So yeah, the real rescue turns up, Joshua is exposed, most of the cultists are arrested (and those that got away will be tracked down), and the teens get taken to the ambulances which freaks Vanessa out because she now understandably has some trust issues and doesn’t want to be separated. Michael almost outs her by calling her name but manages to stop himself and call “him” Ness instead (I haven’t played Earthbound either). He promises her that they’re gonna be okay now, they’re safe, and as soon as he’s stitched up he’s coming to see her in her hospital room. Not if she comes to him first, she says.
Flash forward to a few months later. Michael pulls up to Vanessa’s house. He’s dressed in a suit of bisexual colours. It is very obviously prom night. The front door opens. It hasn’t been very long, so her hair is only a few inches longer, and she’s still built like a footballer, but nonetheless Vanessa looks beautiful in her prom dress. Well, pant-dress. She wasn’t that brave.
She’s been more than brave enough, Michael says, leaning up to kiss her forehead (She’s taller than him).
The Script’s “Never Seen Anything (Quite Like You)” plays over the credits.
On that note, I think I’m calling this game You Never Saw Anything. It works, doesn’t it?
Anyway, I can’t design for garbage, and my art skills aren’t much better, so that’s all I got. Hope you enjoyed.
#writing#original work#video games#fic idea#tw cult#one time i dreamt#trans#bisexual#you never saw anything#ynsa#this might become a thing idk
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i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character
#fun umbral lore. i can barely read cursive#if you want to hide anything from me then write it in cursive and i will literally never be able to read it#or write it. i had to google cursive text generator and copy it for this#ill settle on textbox designs also eventually#god its been so long since i've drawn the manor gang i think#saw this post and i immediately thought “cyn”#it has nothing to do with her being my number 1 blorbo. bite me#murder drones#art#murder drones n#murder drones v#murder drones j#murder drones cyn#serial designation n#serial designation j#serial designation v#they're so gay also they blushed immediately after this and made out probably im still torn between like 5 different ships#curse you fanfics for putting these ideas in my head
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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So funny Viktor chooses to present himself to Jayce as a white-golden robot (considering it is shown he could possess one of his followers) despite his representative colors being purple and blue (during s2 arc 1 and arc 2 and as the Herald Machine). But for the very specific purpose of convincing Jayce to join him, he's represented in the colors associated with Mel. Literally CATWALKING into the room, which is an action associated with Mel too
#jayce arcane#jayvik#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#wow another Mel/Viktor parallel i could have never expected it im so surprised#im so upset with the dude of the show that say they are just a very powerful friendship#like bro have you seen your own show?#you have paralleled them with Vi-Jinx Vander-Silco Powder-Ekko Mel-Jayce#their relationship is beyond human comprehension they are literally everything and anything they want to#and the show doesn't belong to Arcane writers or creators#it belongs to the fandom so idgaf what you think they are because im interpreting a piece of media however i want#idk idk kill the author i don't care what the creators think I wasn't asking for their permission at the moment I saw the show#why don't you let a fandom love and interpret a piece of media just bc it doesn't fit with your interpretation?
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Me: hm, I want something to put on the TV as background noise... Huh. Looks like YouTube is recommending something called The Last Unicorn. That's perfect, it's probably some old shitty animation that has aged poorly! I can watch it ironically!
Me, 2 hours later as the credits roll: *crying, cheering, buying the book, composing the songs*
Me, 2 weeks later: So I have compiled all of the quotes from the book that I think could make good tattoos, and also, HOW HAVE I NEVER LEARNED ABOUT HOW THE LAST UNICORN FUCKING SLAPS??? This gay-ass little fairytale fed my soul! Watered my crops! Transed my gender! Can't believe I heard of this story from youtube recommendations, of all places!!
#original#the last unicorn#tlu#peter s beagle#molly gru#schmendrick#schmendrick the magician#two of my favorite characters in anything right there in the center of the story! and I'm glad I saw the film first!#my reading ability has diminished due to trauma disability etc. but it seems like having a visual reference actually really helped!#no wonder i only ever want to read fan fic! turns out reading is not actually Superior to other types of Storytelling. it's just different.#to say otherwise is snobbishness I have been eminently guilty of in my life!#but like it is easier for me to consume tv and movies and that is fine actually. also that's why I'm doing a graphic novel lol#because i wanted to make something i would actually be able to read if i found it at a library. altho the audio book IS gonna be bomb#the audiobook is for visually impaired readers and anyone who wants or needs it! accessible stories for everyone! yeah!!#my gender was already transed but now I've gained an ADDITIONAL gender! which one? I'll never tell 😘#i am so powerful i have so much fuckin gender. my wife has no gender. and she is equally as powerful.#and also she has STUDIED THE BLADE#mostly zoro's blades from One Piece#normally YouTube recommends me shit movies like idiocracy or smth this is like if every day ur cat brought you a piece of rotten food and#then one day it brings you a BEAUTIFULLY ANIMATED TALE FEATURING MY BELOVED TWINK FUCK-UP WIZARD FRIEND AND MY ALL-TIME HOMEGIRL MOLLY GRU#and also it's soft and beautiful and funny and fucking weird!! i wrote melodies to the songs in the books on my ukulele
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been watching a lot of hermitcraft recently and am happy to report that i am hopelessly endeared by these little goobers 💕 they’re like bugs to me
close ups under the cut!
gonna be real this was absolutely just me taking the opportunity to get my grubby lil mitts all up in their character designs lol i heart interpreting mc skins
#my post#my art#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#oh boy here we go#zedaph#tangotek#bdoubleo100#bdubs#rendog#falsesymmetry#stressmonster101#iskall85#cubfan135#goodtimeswithscar#WHY are there so MANYYY (<- is the one who drew that many)#anyways i love them they’re so…………#also just for the record i have Peaked with that lil ouppy rendog just LOOK AT HIMMM#i will never draw anything better than that he’s literally perfect#don’t. don’t worry about how long it took to draw one tiny thing it definitely wasn’t embarrassingly long struggling with dog legs#i’m also really proud of horsegirl bdubs giving his horf a big ol ‘MWAH!’ but that’s just because that one’s real cute :)#but yeah this was just a lil somethin somethin i poked at whenever i was in a Mood and needed something to draw forrr however many months#i tried challenging myself to draw hermits i probably wouldn’t much otherwise :)#it was fun i love designing my interpretations of various skins#it was really funny tho how i was fighting for my LIFE drawing zed and meanwhile ren and stress turned out perfect first try#was that purely on me for giving him wool and a terrible angle to draw a face at?#……..yeah probably but STILL#but i’m really pleased with how he turned out so 100% worth it babyyy#anyways posting this so i’ll stop poking at it i’ve gone ‘okay it’s Officially Done’ like 5 times now lol i need to leave it alone#POSTING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE I FORGOT TO TURN ON A LAYER AND DIDN’T NOTICEEE IF YOU SAW THE OG POST NO YOU DIDN’T
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the thing is. you are dick grayson and eight years old, and your parents’ deaths are a spectacle. then, you are dick grayson, with many more years behind you, and the unveiling of your identity is a spectacle. you are a flying grayson, the last of the flying graysons, and so your own death, too, is made a spectacle.
#I. SO UPSET#this has nearly 1000000% been said but. you leave the circus but it never leaves you it follows you with its blinding spotlight your whole#life !!!!!#the tragedy of it all everyone saw everyone watched no one did anything#(and so you are forever indebted to one bruce wayne beyond the constraints of love)#dick grayson#elle text
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so i got through to the top 300 for the pokemon tcg contest. i'm feeling normal about it........feeling very normal and sane. which is why i also drew this in ms paint
#my art#pokemon#pikachu#i saw they announced the shortlist and i didn't have any email saying i'd gotten through or anything so i was expecting nothing#got jumpscared by my own art#anyway after pretending to be normal AUGAHAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH OH GOD!!!!!#TOP 300 ARE YOU KIDDING ME I NEVER THOUGHT#WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM!!!!!!!!!!!#okay i'm fine. for real though i'm so flattered and excited there's so many gorgeous beautiful entries!!#to echo what i said on my side blog: if my art was put on a pokemon card i think i would collapse into subatomic matter#and become a perfect blackberry on a bush 50 years ago in new hampshire england#paraphrased#anyway i'm excited maybe you can tell
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I haven’t really talked about Jimmy’s hallucinated version of Polle but I do subscribe to the idea that that is the closest thing to Anya’s true thoughts and feelings along with the representation of the hypothetical baby.
Text color, the whole horse attraction and monsters based on pregnancy/female anatomy, it joking about calling Jimmy old man? It’s both Jimmy purposely trying to ignore Anya and what he did but also not being able to cause he knows, in the back of his mind it all links back to her. But the closet thing he can accept about it is that it fostered something that would be undoubtedly linked to him.
It’s not exactly Anya and it’s not exactly the child. It’s his manifestation of all the things he would’ve failed doing for it and have already failed to take responsibility for. He failed as a decent person, a captain and he would’ve failed as a father which are all things Anya would subtly acknowledge throughout the game in little ways.
It specifically being Polle, the mascot to the Pony Express is more likely a call back to how the pony express is used to mean things that were never going to make it or were rearing for an end. It’s all symbolic and it’s all in Jimmy’s head because he refuses to acknowledge the real person and events his subconscious is basing it on.
#tdlr it is him acknowledging Anya and her genuine disdain for him and how he’d be a horrible father#it’s asking why he’s so concerned with fixing curly when he never fixed what he actually sowed in the first place#it’s her and it’s not cause he never knew her as a person and never saw the pregnancy as anything but a stain on his career and life#also how Polle talks to him is how Anya talks to him in my fic as I think she’s a funny lively and well spoken person normally#but also traily??? like I think she can tell you exactly what she’s thinking but she will go on and connect other things to it that aren’t#obvious just because she’s so aware of things which is also a nod to how good of a nurse she is cause u gotta be aware#mouthwashing game#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#polle mouthwashing#mouthwashing#like Anya gives you the explanation behind the answer before the answer like are we understanding
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What would be Vlad's reaction if Danny actually grew taller than his dad?
Not a good one if I'm to be honest
#Danny Phantom#Vlad Masters#okkennymay#Askkennymay#can you tell I drew the first panel months ago#it...it takes me a while to respond to anything and anyone#but damnit I saw this anon ask ages ago and never stopped thinking about it
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wheatley and queen are restocked! + i have b grades again <3
cozylittleartshoppe @ etsy
#enamel pins#wheatley#portal 2#deltarune#queen#place your bets. can i make linking gabv1el keychains before christmas. By God I Will Try#''i saw this on [anywhere but etsy]'' yeah dibshits steal my designs :( if you've ever bought a bootleg of my art please please please#toss that trash and buy an original. mine are so much nicer quality and etsy is my only income#like as much as i love enamel pins as an artist And collector sometimes i dont even want to make them anymore#because they're the easiest thing for fuckheads to steal. and then they sell them at prices *i'd* be making a loss at#please never buy ANYTHING fandom related on those super cheap chinese websites i am begging you#you're hurting artists. it's all stolen at Best and made from harmful materials and paints at Worst
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#terrible awful no good edit but you get the idea#i know he had good reasons to hate dike#but i still think it’s a bit funny that he saw a dude be a bit useless and was like cool that should be a crime punishable by death i think#but war crimes georg? he’s never done anything wrong ever in his life#band of brothers#hbo war#carwood lipton#speirton#own
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I don’t know how to say this exactly but like… fandom and show are kinda weird about Mel and Ekko and it is very much rooted in racism
#like do guys do know that ‘yay this character is perfect in every single way and the only ones with braincells<3’ is not#the progressive statement you think it is#a step up from the insane misogynoir during s1 era but still not great#it’s how nobody really focuses on mel or ekko’s characters on their own and water them down to being ‘perfect#never did anything wrong ever’. which they are but like… how to say this…#i feel arcane didn’t allow them to be fully fleshed characters#i saw this in st with lucas where he’s watered down to lumax#and gets some mvp scenes but that’s not a compensation for actually giving them proper attention and fully fleshing them out#i might be the minority but mel is a step up from ekko since she had more of an arc but again they barely fleshed it out before making her#op enough to defeat leblanc (was it leblanc?) in her own domain#like that is literally insulting to mel it’s a cop out and just reducing her to a cool moment#in compensation for not giving enough attention to her black rose arc#it wasn’t cathartic because there was no build up to those moments#arcane critical#arcane criticism#ekko#mel medarda#ekko arcane
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me n moze say good morning to the world !!! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
art by @rabbbitseason of course <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#<-#hehe i took inspo from kai’s rb of my mb:>#MY FIRST MOEVIE COMM#this is queued#im asleep (at least i should be by the time this is posted) but it’s a mystery as to how i will fall asleep knowing i would have to#close my eyes and not actively stare at this for the rest of my life#full factory reset i really don’t know what i would even say to this 🥹 im just#things i would do for bitti : anything! i cannot think of something i wouldn’t do for her#i gave her the most cursed ref known to mankind and she came up with this im so 🥹 thank you so much … your art blows me away every time ….#i may pass out seeing him in your style … the way you did his hands and he’s so big#this is me -> ໒꒰ྀི o̴̶̷̤ ̯o̴̶̷̤ ꒱ྀི১ at this HSJDNCN aaaaaa 🥹#i will also state the very obvious and say that bitti is such a pleasure to work with ajsnxnkck ….. please im on my knees#when i saw this- my stomach literally flipped inside out and my ears were ringing .. and my heart was beating a million beats per second#if bitti’s comms were open for eternity & i won the lottery- i would commission so many mozes ….. the world would be full of bitti’s mozes.#^ though that sounds terrible for bitti … im so sorry#i swear that won’t happen i would never do that to you#he is sooooo yum in your style (severe & outrageous understatement)#but what i can do is stare at this all day#THANK YOU BITTI UEUEJJSJS 🥹🥹🥹 I HOPE UR PILLOWS R ALWAYS COLD !!!#not even aventurine’s shield can protect me from the 100000000 damage i took from this /pos#such a shield doesn’t exist in the hsr realm or the real world !!!#evie.ss#IM KIND OF ANGRY THAT I KNOW THERES NOTHING I CAN SAY TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL !!!!! WHAT COULD I SAY >:#WHAT AN ODD FEELING WHERE I AM reduced to my knees but from positive emotions alone …#im so dizzy /pos let me stop here this is already so long omg 🥹#edit: dude /gn my screen time is gonna skyrocket because im still staring with such a dopey smile on my face ahsndnxkc gosh im happy :’) th#thank you so much bitti …. this means so much to me#i literally can not put into words how much this has made my entire year :’)) im so soft im so happy
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deadclaws being so attuned to each other that they have a conversation with facial expressions
#bounces like tigger THEY'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD WITH WORDS#AND THROUGH THE MASKS TOO. THEY MAKE FUN OF OTHER PEOPLE WHILE MASKED THEMSELVES#wade's going to see someone to judge and then turn around at Logan if he saw it too#Logan already cringing with poorly hidden disgust#Wade collapsing out of frame wheezing with laughter#or#Logan seeing some bullshit that totally merits judgment (it doesn't. hes just being a bitch)#turns around to face wade in the deadpool suit. wade goes *wiggles eyebrows*#logan shakes his head “dont you fuckin say anything 🤫” but he's also barely able to hide his own smile#OR#and I've written about this one#Logan held at Wade's gunpoint again. Wade shifts his attention to the ground as a signal for Logan to duck#THAT'S WHAT I WANT#NONVERBAL POWER COUPLE ADAMANTIUM GAYS#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool 2024
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oh damen we're really in it now.mp4
#caprisun#captive prince#damen#damianos of akielos#damen of akielos#kings rising#prince's gambit#ITS HIM ITS MY GUY#also can i just say#i know i made him blush in the rip pitcher sketch because thats the correct interpretation of that scene. cuz he saw his thighs#but can we all agree that those must be the palest pastiest legs a man has ever put in direct sunlight#diogenes said to plato “this is a man” about that peeled chicken because he mistook it for Laurent in a chiton#i bet he burns like a lobster#you leave him in direct sunlight for too long and he starts heaving like an office laptop from 2016 booting up Baldurs Gate 3#i am still in the middle of book 3 and when i tell you i am in DIRE NEED OF SOME LAURENT POV DECRIPTIONS OF DAMEN#TELL ME HOW LOVELY HE IS I NEED YOUR PASTY ASS TO SAY IT#I want to hear those rapid fire thoughts because you just know he is extinguishing them like summertime mosquitos#if the govart dies chapter is anything to go by#damen oh damen you really thought ancel was gonna shove that stick up his ass during that one performance. i love you.#you are THE funniest motherfucker in that book and your obsession with that blue eyed featherless biped only adds to it#who drops a pitcher when they see a white boy approach#god out of fear maybe#i would never live it down straight up never#that memory instantly became damen's dark horse in the championships for the most embarrassing shit that he will think about in bed at nigh
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