#you need a tag <33< /div>
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do u barrack for collingwood?
broncos gal til i die š«”
#the only other team in my state is the titans and i simply can not get behind them.#also i am a reece walsh girlie š«”š«”#has he got amazing eyelashes? yes. does he have a nice ass? YES. is he problematic definitely. will i defend him til i die? of course.#ALSO reece gives massive james potter vibes#so another reason to stan him ok.#you need a tag <33#lmk the name u want me to use <333
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Did Peri tell Timmy that he was planning to become a Fairy Godparent/that he was assigned a godkid? When we first see the fam reunite in the series, Cosmo and Wanda didn't seem to know.
Timmy had known Peri might pursue becoming a godparent, because Peri had consulted with him about career tracks!! And like. Being the only one invited to Peri's college graduation tends to give Timmy more insight than his parents. Special older brother privileges.
As for being assigned a Godkid, Timmy sorta... Stumbled into it. He found out long before Peri was told he had been given an assignment!
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
Peri's Assignment: [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop jorgen vonstrangle#fop timmy#fop jorgen#asks#itty bitties fop au#YAY YIPPIE WE'RE REACHING THE LIL MINI PLOT FOR PERI AND DEV#this one is VERY short. like 4 parts total. i already have the asks for it#straight and to the point.#ALSO#timelines are a bit confusing bcs the posts are sporadic across the timelines#so i might need to make a post to clarify it a bit#but peri like. went to babys spellementary. then boarding school. and then college where you specialize in trade/jobs#cosmo and wanda have NOOO idea peri went to college#absolutely none#(in this world fairy college is free btw <33)#so peri only invited timmy to his graduation ceremony#ALSO SINCE IM ALREADY RAMBLING IN THE TAGS#jorgen's door has a SMALLER door meant for pixies!!!!#because he is humongous and they are so tiny.#and also timmy's ears wiggle and flap when hes excited#i like to imagine pixie ears as a bit like cow ears hahaha#bcs i love cow ears i think theyre very soft and they should flap#ears should be expressive me thinks
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A little different than last year's, but here we are again. To say that this past year hasn't been absolutely wild would be a lie, cause HOLY SHIT MAN
This year's birthday is. A little different for me, but you already have the silly comic to show that so I won't make like a broken record oops
But, despite the changes and hills that life's decided I should climb or throw at, it hasn't changed the fact that I'm so genuinely fucking thankful to the people that I've known since joining this fandom. I'm not even kidding when I say that being here has actually changed my life for the better. I know I said something similar last year, but this time, hoo boy it sure turned up the AMP and test how far I could go.
So, to everyone, both new and old; thank you for being here :D
@garbagechocolate @darkxsoulzyx @smoljeanius @bunmuffin @skizabaa
@tuzesdays @sleepykas @fernzwing @kandidandi @starsketchez
@just-a-drawing-bean @notdysfunk @ilsole @amberluvsbugs @cloudyvoid
@nomsthecat @alfinefalf @nosleepygay @theblog-with-thestuff
@cacaocheri
(Edit: ty kibbits for informing me of the. Fuck ass tagging system)
AND TAGGING OTHERS BECAUSE. POINTS. BONKS WITH HEAD. GETTING TO EITHER INTERACT OR TALK OR WHATEVER IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT
@ohno-the-sun @kibbits @ink-yy @saltyfryz @kaprisvn
@hierba-picante @sunny-sophies-garden @cookiiemancer @sneeblbop @justaduckarts
@pepethehumanz @crystalmagpie447 @woolysstuff @mocha-illustrates @duhsty1
@sanchensky @pillowspace @victarin @witherfide
[I DEFINITELY GOT SONAS WRONG AND THESE AREN'T ALL THE SILLY PEOPLE I KNOW BUT IM SITTING HERE AT 2:30 IN THE MORNING JUST KNOW YOU'RE THERE IN SPIRIT HANDING YOU ALL POPTARTS WAUGH]
#nebula art and doodles#should. i even count it as that-#nebula birthday time#fuck it birthday tag go brrr#also if i. didnt tag you it is 100% because i'm. a fucking coward <33 and am not sure if you'd like to be tagged in a silly thing like this#(or i don't. know you. that also but shaky thumbs up)#god. this year has been. insane dawg#my goofy ass going through canon events like it's a buffet /silly#jokes aside#the fact that im still like. here. right here#posting or reblogging goofy shit#still in the process of making my fic (i prommy im working on it)#and just. managing to make friends with people despite shit happening#it's so wild to me#i know for some people i've tagged we either haven't talked that much or haven't talked in awhile#and to that i say#fuck it we ball /j#but seriously it's. honestly bc getting to interact with you guys at all makes or has made my day that much brighter#even if it's been awhile like i mentioned or for whatever reason#this is. getting long as hell and i need to go to bed oops#anywhooooo#gotta go fast or some shit#OH- and thank you all so much for. almost 3k. holy shit#where the fuck did you all COME FROM HOW DID WE GET HERE#big heart emojis and sending love to you all#thank you so much
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finally made some more up-to-date art of the mc of my rpgmaker game, magical girl: grim reaper!! her name is yurei, and she's a magical girl who continues serving sparkly justice after she dies by becoming the grim reaper :3
#pixell.art#magical girl#magical girl: grim reaper#magical girl grim reaper#mg:gr#mahou shoujo#oc#illustration#art#oc art#oc illustration#artists on tumblr#indie game#indie gamedev#anime#GUYSSSS I LOVE HER SM#her newer design is so much cuter than the original illustration i did imo#also!!! alive yurei unveiling!!!! she is so pink!!!!!!!#her magical girl name is shimmering starwing <3333#after she dies she kinda drops that but!!! its cute :3#also uhmmm would you guys buy merch with this art on it :33#i made em for the front and back of a spinning standee#so. comment if interested i suppose!!!!!!! im also gonna make other stuff. im working on a sticker design currently#okay i need to stop with the tag rant. BYE
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Have pictures of Tipsy bc I took some uhhh this morning
#š ā ānervo rambles . ā
#ā
ā-my children .#<- putting this as a general tag for my pets now btw :33#might change later but I think it's fine#still need to find past posts of my children but it is a tag now!!!#you guys (devil) will now see how many pictures I take if my animals#specifically my cats tho
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U dont understand how badly i need to be dilf!satosuguās freshly graduated from college neighbor that comes crying from their first week of a real job thats not some coffee shop and into their 5 years of marriage ass home onto their laps as they feed me soup. - šŗ
I DO UNDERSTAND . I DO ššš very evil of you to throw dilftoru into the mix ā¦ā¦. is dilfguru not lethal enough ā¦ā¦ā¦. I NEED IT SO BADDDD PLEASE .
they would be so doting ā¦ā¦ā¦ even before you join their relationship. i think the lines are very blurred because theyāre always inviting you to have dinner with them, making small talk while you water plants in your backyard, asking about your life ā¦ā¦. youāre basically dating them before you realize it yourself.
and plsā¦.. not the tearsā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ they would baby you until youāre so embarrassed you forgot why you were even sad in the first place. i fear theyāre the masters of back massages and pep talks dilfguru would be feeding you spoonfuls of soup while his husband coos and runs his big hands down your back :///// i canāt stand them . theyāre too good at comforting you . tells you to come to them anytime you feel down or need some advice or need to be pampered ā¦.. would also tell you that you donāt need to work, they can support you while you just work on your hobbies . personally i wouldnāt take the risk youāll be playing into their caretaker complex too much
#horrible#yes i know i always talk abt stsg spoiling you but the dilf duo is SICK with it . like actually#šš#need them . badly#this was evil of u šŗ anon ā¦ā¦ā¦..#dilfguru is too much for me on his own just thinking of him WITH dilftoru is making me dizzy#šŗ anon !! ā©#ask tag ā©#dilf!sugu <33
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Hey guys! I'm okay now :))
Anyways, I think my art style changed to something better =>=
#idk how to tag this#my art#psychopomp#psychopomp game#c'venash vishneri#lol xd#hope you guys like it#ship art#i like it#I really needed that break#But I'm okay now#that's what matter#They look cute :33#Vena is very romantic lmao#Now he will be the food HEHEHš#meow meow#my art owo#i'm cringe but i'm free
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it's almost 1am here's my essay about Dal and captainhood <333
I hath promised a Dal essay and I hath deliveredā¦Ā
I've had this in the drafts for so long, but I just rewatched season two and it really allowed me to solidify a lot of my thoughts.
One of things that really strikes me about Dal's character and his relationship to command is that being in charge is a place of safety for him. He's had to be self-reliant and self-sufficient pretty much his whole life until the Protostar. It's something that was engraved into him since he was small, that the only person Dal could really depend on was himself.
And because he was never around anyone who actually cared about him until the Protostar, that was the right thing to do. This need to be in charge, to be in control really, is a learned survival skill. "I can tell you from experience, people in authority lie."
But in season two, his circumstances have changed (for the better!), and that's not the right thing to do anymore. Ultimately, to me, Dal's season two character arc is about vulnerability and trust. He's been in survival mode for so, so long, and now we watch him learn to heal.
You start with this boy who's spent the grand majority of his life alone or with people who are exploiting him, and the story takes him by the hand and tells him "now that you're safe, now that you have people who care about you, you can't live like that anymore."
All throughout season one he learns trust. Trust in his crew, in Hologram Janeway, in the Federation and in Starfleet as institutions that can and will help him and his newfound family. But as a captain,when he was guiding his crew through active crisis after crisis, trust looked like open doors. It looked like laying out all the variables and problems on a table so they could figure a way out together.Ā
Trust looks very different on the Voyager-A. It asks him to have faith in what he's not seeing, what he's not being told. He has to believe that they have his best interests at heart, that he's not trusting his family to something that will try to hurt them.Ā
Captainhood isn't just bossing people around for Dal. It's the responsibility of holding the lives of the people he loves in his hands. He trusts his own hands. He has the best interest of his crew at heart.Ā
To ask Dal to relinquish control, is to ask him to place the lives of himself and his family into someone else's hands. Which, historically, has not gone great for them. It prods directly at his trauma, asks him to take undo and ignore the survival instincts that kept them alive for so long. Is it any wonder he has trouble with that?
Dal's not going around crawling through Jeffries Tubes because he's a brat or because he thinks he's entitled to know everything. He's a traumatized kid whose self-sufficiency, independence, and ability to make his own decisions were once, for a very long time, the literal line between life and death for him and his crew.
And even if he trusts Starfleet and Janeway in his head on a logical level (which I absolutely believe he does), there's still this instinct that's written into him. It's a process to learn how and when to turn that off, and that's what we see especially throughout the first half of season two.Ā
This really culminates in the cafeteria scene after they return with the Protostar and Chakotay, when Dal advocates for the Starfleet temporal management guys to figure out a way to get the Protostar back to Tars Lamora. Dal was able to see that his hands weren't the best ones for the job, and trust Gwyn's life to someone else. That's huge for him. He trusts not just a person, but a branch of an institution he's never interacted with before, with one of the people that mean the very most to him. And Dal's able to give up that control, to place himself and his crew in that position of potential vulnerability, because he's finally started to feel it in his bones that he's safe here.
#star trek#star trek prodigy#dal r'el#protostar crew#is that a tag? idk they need a little name though so imma call them that#lou says things#lou writes things#you guys im a writing student and i had to physically restrain myself from looking up quotes and sources like my profs gonna grade me or sm#like i am so in acedemic mode rn#lou its a tumblr post its not that serious X'D#but also it's a little bit that serious cause dal i love you im on your side forever#also! if you have thoughts please please please reblog comment put it in the tags leave it in my ask box#even and especially if they're different from mine tell me your dal takes and i'll love you forever <33
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Everything is Blue
[3/21] Happy anniversary! ā
inspired by this
Swap by popcornpr1nce
Error & Blueberror from askerrorsans by loverofpiggies
#zu art#comic#trapped#error!sans#blueberror#underswap!sans#swap!sans#us!sans#undertale#undertale au#utmv#lyrics#anniversary#I prepared!! 2 drawings to choose from!! and ended up posting the 3rd one?? XD#super messy (just like these errors heh) yet am proud <3#''don't tag it as ___'' my brother in Christ two characters in one panel is all people need to ship them :'D#sure we should respect Canon and Word of God (and this story is not about errorberry at all) but baby if you ship them I'm in ;)#OMG thank you guys so much for 14 000+!! \(//ā//)\ā”#it's justā WOW. āunbelievable??? (Ā“Ā°Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„ĻĀ°Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„Ģ„ļ½)ā#lots of love to each of you!! <33
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the itoshi brothers through the years ...
#sophie's idle chatter#congrats to blue lock for being the only animanga to have itoshi sae and itoshi rin !!!#haha... aha... ha... a...#excuse the mega long rant in tags i just have a lot to say when it comes to the itoshi bros#crying btw haha <33#they changed some lines from the manga in the snow scene...#āwe're half-baked. you and me both.ā; the whole āscrew that...ā spiel ..... ourgh........#and the way there was. no music. just silence in their confrontation scene until the moment where sae decided to cut ties#hahah.............#once again the part that always got me in the manga (and now the anime) was where sae still had light in eyes when talking abt being the#best midfielder with rin the best striker bc they could both still have that dream together only for the light to fade when rin refuted#and said hes not the brother he knew with there being no dream if its not the one theyve had all this time.....#sae more than likely believes that if anyone can become the best in the world its rin but is wasting his talent by looking up to the#big brother who couldnt uphold his promise to be the best striker and instead pushes him to the brink so he could forge his own path#to be a striker in his own right without being his saes shadow even if that means having rin hate him in return bc he has always cared#which ofc doesnt invalidate rins feelings bc he has a right to feel betrayed after dedicating so much time to follow a shared dream#with his brother whom in his eyes stomped on it without remorse and left him to eat shit#neither of them are wrong but they both went abt this in the worst way possible haha... a... ....... i hate them.#also very sick of them to have their relationship progressively be depicted from light and dark like. excuse me while i jump out a window.#i need them to have a sit down and talk in the manga like. a whole 20 chapters at least.#ALSO WHAT WAS THAT ADDITIONAL TIME SEGMENT IM GOING TO THROW UP AGAIN HELLO
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The first of 2 canvases from yesterdays magma with @abbyroseflame24 and @marclef!!! My first magmas with them and it was so so fun thank you both again, its been really nice meeting and getting to know you two <33
#friends art <33#friends ocs#klowndraws#my art#doodle tag#the second one needs a dang mature label#you will see why#pizza tower fanart#pizza tower#the noise#pizza tower oc#peppino#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino
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snippet of a miitopia poster i made depicting my team + my evil great sage. in the center is cirno, my protagonist. idk if i will post the poster now, the crossover might be too much. but i do like this portion of the poster the best. maybe i will do it and post it alongside a post of all the job designs i made for them.
#mayor doidles#fanart#mayors ocs#miitopia#i aināt tagging touhou proper. or any of the connected series the characters are from if i do post the full poster#the characters are blorbos but this is exclusively miitopia fanart ok#cirno#kandy#great sage#miitopia great sage#digital art#cell shaded#when i post the full poster i need people to get cool with a lot of things. /j#ok the main hang up is the hetalia character even though i shouldnāt care.#look. aph america is my lad and im reclaiming him. he gets the ultimate legacy pass cuz iāve been putting him in my crossovers since the#very beginning. i guess there are other characters i am more flustered to include but heās the one thatās got me a little nervous lol#will you still love me if i posted hetalia america fanart. donāt answer that iāll figure it out#ANYWAYā¦ā¦ i have once again drawn kandy bein evil n shit isnāt my daughter so cute :33
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i personally feel like as an aroace i should thank you, im so tired of ffs where they only care abt looks and they just wanna fuck most of the time
your fics really stand out amidst all the repetitive smut, itās like you actually care about the characters youāre writing , i LOVE the way you write everything and makes me feel really comfy and idek why, as an aroace i canāt rant more on how relationships should be emotional rather than sexual, even though i donāt mind occasional smut, thereās something about how vulnerability and trust makes me feel really sappy (maybe its cuz i donāt really open up because i donāt think ppl actually care)
and your fics specifically seem to pinpoint the exact things my heart wants, it scares me how well you can make me get in my feels
i hate you for making me feel that i can love
im such a loser but i love you, tysm <3 (canāt wait for carnation, ch 8)
oh anon this brought me to near tears š„ŗ
writing has become my safe place as i am a very emotional person myself. i truly do love the characters i write about, but i also fall in love with the smallest things ever in my everyday life..!! just seeing a stranger smile seriously makes me so happy like i didn't think i could express my love in any way or form healthily until i started writing š„²
and i am SO thrilled to know angels like you feel this way about what i write āŗļø touya is honestly so special to me and has definitely earned the role of being one of my comfort characters š¤ carnations is how i cope with the absolute roller coaster of emotions mha and horikoshi allowed me to go through and i'm so so grateful that i can bring so many of you on the journey with me š„ŗ remember you CAN love and ARE loved! even if u think no one loves you just know that i do!! āŗļøāŗļøš¤
#thank you anon#btw this was the highlight of my day :)#alsooo im just gonna rant in the tags a bit....#but i seriously love anyone and everyone#we're all just humans who feel and breathe and think and it's just so beautiful#like i cannot express how precious life is#and how you need to live one where you're happy and fulfilled so your can soul can rest after you pass#if you're reading this go drink some water!! smile at a stranger and eat that sweet treat! be happy! :33#beeasks įµį“įµ#carnations ā¦#beebabbles
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I'll forever love serah for deciding to save the future with noel...... not out of obligation or a sense of duty, but because she's taking control of her own life for the first time in 3 (possibly much longer even) years and saving the world is what she wants to do
In the dream world when she has the choice to back down and live peacefully, her wants of being with her family again (fake or not) and saving the future conflicting with each other, she realizes that for the first time in probably her entire life, there are people relying on her because of what she herself set in motion, all as a result of her newfound agency and courage
The old serah would've probably chosen to stay living in the dream, she mightāve preferred the comfort of a fake sanctuary over a grim reality with an unlikely shot at a happy ending, but the new serah isn't content with running away and staying put anymore, she'd rather die going for what she really wants than live a life devoid of true meaning when she could've wanted more
The mirror still being in her room during the fate and freedom paradox ending is representative of that, she may have forgotten all about her journey, but there's something tugging at her, something deeply wrong about her situation that gnaws at her core and leaves her to wonder about what she's missing when she should feel fulfilled, and that feeling scares her
#serraaahhhh i love you so muuucchh#no one could ever make me hate you <33#final fantasy xiii-2#serah farron#i need to start tagging my analyses jesus#analysis#i think her character is often misunderstood as being self-sacrificing but i dont feel right calling it that jfhdjd#she obviously didnt do it for selfish reasons but calling it a sacrifice makes it sound like it was purely for others sakes#its somewhere more in the middle id say
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Something I love:
Fi
Fi :) Everything to do with Fi. Fanart of Fi. Fanfiction that has Fi. The games with Fi. Fi's metal cloth sleeves. Fi's words- telling Link statistics of survival at the beginning of the game and good luck by the end. Fi's colour scheme of purple and blue. Fi's dancing. Fi's singing while Link plays harp.
I love Fi <3
#Fi#skyward sword#sksw#Zelda#Loz#tloz#loz sksw#I think she's in hyrule warriors too but I don't know the tags for that?#oooo look at me#posting and stuff#the anxiety dust bunny in my head says reblogs are scary and posts aren't good enough#but she'll be ok I'll feed her some carrots#anyways yeah I can be more active here rn :D which I've been answering lots of asks and stuff so uhh yeah#you are loved and you matter <33#if you ever need a reminder I'm here :))
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How dare Link correctly predict my reaction to teases, how dare (<3) YES I wanna know what prompted the upset, what well meaning thing went so wrong D: And that bit about still hoping to be loved breaks my heart for them
-š
the bit about still hoping to be loved broke my heart too, and that's why i needed to include it <3
so, about hermits wanting to help them. one smaller example is them taking a look at scar's tattered wings and suggesting that maybe they could help fix them. which is good!
but this comes after scar having his wings like this for about a year, and it took a long time for him to learn to accept them as they are. he's no longer ashamed of them, seeing them simply as a part of himself now. (the same way his scars have always been)
and, sure, he will still take a chance at having them healed, but it still rubs him wrong, in a way. even though it's a kind, well-meaning offer. because it proposes that he needs to be fixed.
but a whole big issue stems from something else.
we know scar and grian have changed.
grian, in particular, flinches a lot and seems scared. scar, on the other hand, often shields grian, and calls on his vex traits to intimidate the danger away, showing he's not afraid to fight. (he is afraid. he's constantly afraid.) and they're both awfully codependent, clinging to each other and isolating from everyone else.
[1,7k rambles and ~3,2k rp snippets below the cut]
one of the things they leaned into in that other world was their hybrid traits. and they show in the way they interact with each other, you know? the way they express trust and love and know what the other one needs.
well, scar is a vex.
we know there's a mating bite, but that's not everything. him and grian indulge in a lot of biting and blood related stuff. all consensual! grian is a little freak so he likes it!
it's something the two of them do, privately and intimately. it's safe, it's fun, it's theirs. them being insanely in love and ready to give all of themselves over. lose all of control on both sides, at least for a moment, in a world that hardly allows such a thing.
but here's the issue: the others don't know anything about any of it. they don't know what scar and grian have been through. they don't know anything about vex instincts or mating rituals. they don't understand anything about this new thing.
so when they see grian timid, bruised and bitten? and they know that scar seems more violent now, sharp-fanged and clawed?
let's just say they get concerned. and stage a bit of an intervention.
they just want to make sure that grian is okay! it... should be a good thing. except they've separated them and are now cornering grian, asking all these questions and voicing all these assumptions. and it's a bit awful, actually.
grian is pressed into having to explain that yeah, actually, he wanted all of that. that it's love.
but him naming the so obvious damage love just rings more alarm bells. and maybe someone asks him if it's a form of self harm, to allow that to happen to him? like, if grian seeks it out, is it self destructive? is that why he craves it?
and sort of, him and scar spiral about this in different ways.
grian struggles with untangling his way out of it, because what if they're right? what if he subconsciously sought harm? but he liked it? is it wrong to enjoy it? he knows that he had his moments when he was actively trying to bring himself damage. mostly aimed at his wingsāplucking out his feathers and such. but is this just another thing like that? a substitute damage of sorts? was he just oblivious this whole time?
grian never had a previous relationship experience, so he really can't tell what is love. where does it end and Something Bad begins? he associates the bites with love, but is that bad? is he wrong? would it feel different if someone else showed him that love is something else? did he just manipulate himself into feeling like this and now he's in too deep?
at least he knows scar would never hurt him if grian says no. if grian doesn't want it. but... if grian wants it... is it self destructive? is that what it means? or maybe he was just chasing the aftermath? the soft care (that scar'd offer regardless)?
his mind is a mess and he can't figure out what his real feelings in this all are. he doesn't know how to figure it out. he gets really confused and worried and scared. (he's terrified that they're right, not necessarily for himself, but because of what that'd do to scar.) (he's scared that scar will blame himself over this. that no matter the outcome, this is inevitably going to mess something up between the two of them.)
in the meanwhile, scar feels like a monster. like maybe he was doing something wrong this whole time. was he enabling something horrible? was he genuinely hurting grian this whole time, unaware?
because he's a vex, and it makes sense to want this on his end, but grian is an avian, and... maybe scar should've questioned it more? shouldn't have been so eager to indulge? did he do something irreparably cruel without meaning to?
through this all, he reassures grian it's okay to take a break from it, or even to completely stop. it's fine! it's always been fine! but despite that, their feelings continue to spiral, caught in a maze they can't escape.
it used to be so simple. back in the vex commune. scar never had to doubt himself and the way they express their love. not when it came to this.
and now suddenly it seems so different. so vile and wrong and horrible. people are genuinely concerned and scar and grian wonder, separately, if maybe they're right to be?
... eventually they both hurtle towards a breaking point. and scar decides he needs to talk to someone about it. and grian decides he needs to be alone for a moment, becoming overwhelmed, needing some space to think.
i really want to tell you about what happens in the talk scar has with the others, but i can't. not quite yet.
anyway, this is where the breakdowns come in. (yes. multiple.)
first is scar's during the conversation he has. he gets to hear a lot of good, wise, reassuring things, but ultimately, he still needs to hear from grian. he's been trying so hard not to influence grian's conclusion to all of this, but. he needs to know grian's thoughts, once grian is ready.
grian is not ready. he's been growing so emotionally worn out from all of this, so volatile and fragile. it's all a bit Too Much.
scar messages him, checking up on him.
are you okay?
and
i'm here waiting for you whenever you come back
and
but i'll come find you if you want me to
and
i love you
... but here's the thing, right? neither scar nor grian are used to comms anymore. so grian doesn't read any of that.
they regress back to what they know.
scar howls.
grian chirps.
and only then does scar's comm ping.
come.
zero hesitation, scar unfolds his wings and jumps off the balcony, rushing towards where that chirp came from. he's being called. he's being wanted.
he'd go anywhere for grian.
he finds grian perched atop a tree. struggles to climb up, but never falters. because grian's now starting to cry, and scar needs to be there.
tucked safely into scar's gentle, loving arms, grian breaks down.
--
with a hitched sob, grian falls forwards into scar's arms, burrowing easily into the warmth and familiarity and security.
he wants to say he's sorry. he's sorry this is so hard for him. he's sorry he can't untangle this; sorry he can no longer tell which are his feelings and which are just things people have suggested he might feel. he's sorry he's making this so difficult. he's sorry he's worrying everyone.
but words evade him as scar's arms provide just enough safety for his guards to crumble lower, making him just sob instead.
--
and believe it or not, somewhere in the midst of this (hey do have a proper talk, if a bit tear-drenched) is scar's second breakdown. (grian's time to hold him!!!) that's where the rp snippet in the previous ask is from. and you'll get more of that in a second.
first i just need to tease the aftermath, because i'm a menace.
after crying and comforting their hearts out, they fly(!!!) back. there's immense relief to wind in grian's feathers, and a dangerous edge of the feeling of freedom it brings, wanting to soothe all the cracks on his soul... but the truth is, his soul is still cracked. and he's still depleted. he knows he's still hovering over something so incomprehensibly fragile. that the smallest prod will set him off and break him again.
they arrive at their nestāscar first, to warn their company not to ask questions, grian second.
it doesn't stop it from happening. grian was right: the smallest thing can set him off.
so he has another breakdown, possibly a bigger one, drawing on far deeper hurt that screams and tears at his heart. and plunges all three other people in the room into breakdowns of their own <3333
(yes that's the part we can't talk about. yet.)
aNYWAY!!! how about some rp bits.
---------------
SCAR
Despite Grianās crying being entirely contagiousā or perhaps Scar is just simply too empathetic and emotional himselfā Scarās had practice with consoling his sweet bird. He knows what he ought to do here.Ā
He tightens his hold until itās snug and secure, then pressed a few little kisses to whatever part of Grianās head he can reach.
And then he talks.
āI knew youād be up in a tree somewhere.ā His voice wobbles a bit, but itās alright. āI wanted to give you some timeā¦ I missed you though. Like immediately.ā
He chuckles softly, knowing their bond borders on codependent, even if itās something theyāve worked on since theyāve gotten home. Still, itās okay to poke fun at it, he thinks. Itās okay to admit the truth.
--
GRIAN
grian's sobs quiet down a little as scar talks, energy redirected to hook into the familiar rumble of his slightly quivery voice, sniffling as he listens to what scar has to say.Ā
it's sometimes hard to decipher the meaning of sentences when he gets like this, but scar doesn't seem to expect an answer; he's not asking him anything, and grian's grateful for being given time, a grace period where he can just cling and cry and calm down while scar holds him.Ā
he laugh-sobs at the note that it was obvious he'd be in a tree. he's given scar a lot of hard time in the past until he figured out that lesson, but now he always knows unfailingly where to search when grian's heart needs him after cowardly isolation.
he comes every time. he comes and he finds him and he holds him.Ā
grian sniffles, despondent, burrowing tighter in. he chirps a little to encourage scar to go on, to keep talking; the sound of it is shaky, about to fall apart to pieces, but he thinks it still counts. it's still something. a participation, not leaving scar stranded and alone in this.
--
OK LOOK WE HAVE TO SKIP AHEAD HERE BECAUSE [REDACTED] REASONS
--
GRIAN
grian hums again, fond and soft, slumped against scar with utmost trust. and then he finally says it. "'m sorry."
--
SCAR
"Hey, none of that, mister," Scar says, shaking his head into Grian's hair in more of a no than a nuzzle now. "It was a lot, it's okay. You needed a moment."
He places another kiss.
"And you knew I'd be here in a heartbeat when you were ready, right?" Scar grins sheepishly.
--
GRIAN
grian's hands trace idle patterns on scar's back as he gets comforted by words and another kiss. he closes his eyes, taking it in, before replying with a soft little "yeah."
--Ā
SCAR
Scar purrs at the affection, openly so. "Doin' a little better now?"
--
GRIAN
grian nods, still right against scar, clingily pressed into him. "yeah, i... yeah."
--
SCAR
Scar doesn't budge, not interested in releasing his darling bird just yet. "...what's on your mind?" he prompts softly, hoping to get a glimpse at Grian's inner turmoil.
--
GRIAN
with eyes still closed, grian lets the pause linger just a moment, before replying with a quiet but honest, "right now? how nice this feels."
--
SCAR
Scar chuckles again, a little anxiety getting settled by that fact, though certainly not all. "Oh, well that's good, yes. I agree with that sentiment entirely."
--
GRIAN
"good," grian purrs, squeezing at scar. "'coz i don't wanna lose it."
--
SCAR
Scar's ears twitch, something awfully depressing in those few words. "Hey, no, never," he assures. "This is never going away, okay?"Ā
Since he seriously doubts cuddling is about to give anyone the wrong ideas.
--
GRIAN
grian has to swallow several times for his feelings to not go off the rails again. he takes a shaky breath, still squeezing at scar, as if he was afraid he might disappear. "... okay."
--
SCAR
"And neither am I!" Scar tacks on, even if it should go without saying. Even if it may be a little dramatic. But he thinks maybe Grian needs to hear that fact stated with absolute certainty. "I love you too dang much."
--
GRIAN
that gets grian to loosen his grip a little, enough to shuffle and look up. hair messy and eyes glistening and red rimmed, he looks up at scar with so much aching adoration, it feels like he might drown.Ā
"i think it's okay ifā if we love each other in our own way," he says sheepishly. he ducks down, laying his head on scar's shoulder, feeling shy as his hands go back to tracing patterns on scar's lower back. "even if the others don't understand or agree." there's a precipice of a pause, and then the most timid little "... right?"
--
SCAR
Scar's heart stutters, and his ears flick up again with carefully optimistic anticipation at Grian's words. His eyes threaten to flood over again, but the tears feel different, more cathartic, less miserable.Ā
He tucks his head over Grian's again, brushing his cheek over his locks affectionately, daring to release a few hopeful tears as Grian says what he desperately hoped he might.Ā
"I..." he starts, still trying not to influence this decision if he can help it, but... "I think so. ...I mean it'sā" He thinks of [REDACTED], and chuckles wetly, morphing them in his own Scar-silly way. "It's not really anyone else's business what we do in the bedroom, is it?"
--
GRIAN
grian's hands still against scar's back, simply holding him for a moment as he soaks up scar's nuzzles. there's wetness to them, something that makes grian's heart ache as he worries about all the possible meanings, but hopes against all hope that it's just scar getting positively emotionalāa relief of sorts above all else.Ā
a small strained chuckle makes it past his lips, and he muffles it into a kiss that he presses into scar's shoulder. "right. exactly."
--
SCAR
Scar weakly smiles, giving Grian a squeeze. "...but seriously, Iā you know it's okay if we stop, right? If you ever change your mindā and I mean your mind, nobody else'sā then it's fine! But... I... yeah." Another squeeze. "I just want to be sure you know that."
--
GRIAN
there's a barely stifled sigh, but no hint of tension pools across grian's back. his hold remains still and gentle, his head idly leaning on scar's shoulder. "i know," he murmurs.
--
SCAR
"Good," Scar states, ducking lower so his forehead presses into Grian for a moment before releasing just enough so he could escape the big bear hug if he wanted. ā... you know, [REDACTED]ā
--
WE ARE ACTUALLY TAKING ANOTHER LEAP, ANOTHER SKIP, ANOTHER SCRIBBLED OUT SECTION. bear with us <33
--
SCAR
[REDACTED VERY REDACTED] āI mean, I had to learn all this vex stuff, too. Itās notā¦ I mean itās certainly not the most family-friendly sort of culture but that doesnāt mean itās wrong, does it?ā
--
GRIAN
grian blinks at that, lifting his head in attention. this really surprises him, for some reason. that [WOO REDACTED AGAIN WOW]Ā
"oh." he takes a moment, leaning slightly back, inviting scar's touch a little bit further. "yeah... yeah, i think he'sā" he bounces the words around in his head again, then settles on: "it's a learning curve every way, isn't it? whenever there's new instincts and..." he skirts around the words mating rituals, feeling a faint warmth rise up to his cheeks. he looks away briefly, teething at his bottom lip as he thinks of all the worries he himself used to have, all the mistakes kane made, all the effort and talking and correcting it took for things to finally have it all sink in the proper way.Ā
he clears his throat, shyly looking back at scar, but then his gaze anchors and softens. his hand travels up from scar's chin, brushing through his hair, tucking a strand behind his ears. "it's not wrong."
--
SCAR
āItās not?ā Scar asks meekly, even though he was the one to propose so first. To have Grian confirm it is so much more important. Because even if they can agree itās not wrong for Scar to have sought out these things, ultimately he wants it to be right for Grian as well.
Scar chews at his lip nervously, but still tilts toward the offered affection, absolutely weak to it.
--
GRIAN
"mmm." grian lets his fingers brush through scar's hair again, gentle with him at every step. "it's not wrong," he repeats softly.
--
SCAR
Scar opens his eyes, both of them glistening with potential tears, but he offers up a weak, wobbly smile, appreciating every graze of Grianās fingers. āā¦is itā itās not wrong for you either?ā
--
GRIAN
grian takes in scar's expression and he leans in for a short kiss. "it's not wrong for me," he murmurs, right over scar's lips.Ā
and maybe he still feels confused, and maybe he still has some exploring and figuring out to do, just to really settle things in his heart, but he knows scar will be there with him every step of the way. just like he knows that [REDACTED] is rightāscar is good for him.Ā
and he wants all of him.
--
SCAR
The tears fall alongside a pitiful little chuckle, but Scar leans right back in for another kiss, not caring at all for the wetness that streaks down his cheeks.Ā
They can match now. Itās fine.
āIā¦ Iāmā?ā Scar falters, and he laughs again, ducking his head down in slight embarrassment. He canāt even bring himself to say it. To even imply that he was worried that he was wrong for Grian. āā¦okay.ā
--
GRIAN
the sight of tears breaks grian's heart. still keeping one arm around scar, hoping it'd make him feel close and secure, he lowers his other hand from scar's hair to his cheek, gently collecting the wetness even as scar leans in for a kiss. (one that grian gladly gives.)Ā
even though scar doesn't finish his question, grian can connect the dots. he remembers the time when he himself thought he's not good for scar, and he knows how awful and heavy that self doubt was.
with utmost tenderness, he kisses scar's cheek, right in the path of wetness, while his fingers gently brush the tears on the other side. "scar." it's quiet, reverent. irredeemably loving.
he pulls away, wanting scar to look at him as he says this. his wings twitch, brushing over scar's, curling inwards towards him. pressing against scar's sides under scar's wings as grian lets go of his back in favour of cupping his face, thumbs brushing over cheeks.
"scar, you're good for me."
he strings up the words, slow and deliberate and certain.
--
SCAR
Itās Scarās turn to break again, clearly, as his eyes water over and big, wet tears fall down his cheeks and collect over Grianās hands. He doesnāt even have words to respond with, just wide, grateful eyes and wobbly lips that canāt decide between a cry or a smile.Ā
His hands also find their way over Grianās, though one escapes to run his own thumb over Grianās cheek in turn, still feeling the dampness there. Itās oddly comforting.
āā¦sometimes I worry the hermits donāt think that,ā he admits, gaze flicking away as he tries to keep a strong facade. (Hard to do while heās actively crying, but it could certainly be worse.)
--
GRIAN
"oh, scar." grian sighs, heartbroken, brows pulling into a pained frown upon hearing that admission. he can hardly bear this, knowing scar's been made to feel like this.
he leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, wings slinking further along, wrapping around scar right underneath his vex wings. he wants to cocoon them into warmth and safety, away from these treacherous feelings.
the hermits managed to somehow break both of them down, with nothing more than good intentions.
grian hates the uncertain, askew feeling that pushes bitter bile up his throat, telling him maybe they're not quite right for this place anymore. that they forgot how to belong, but nobody has caught up yet and still expects them to be their selves that they can no longer reach.
āyou know [REDACTED I AM SO SORRY]ā he attempts a smile, though it's hard. he tugs at scar, wanting to pull him in for a hug, tuck him underneath his own chin, all safe and protected, but he leaves it up to scar whether he wants that or needs more breathing room right now.Ā
"maybe they need time. i... i've been hiding away a lot and. honestly i don't think they can tell what's good for me anymore. not right now." it's hard to admit. "even if they mean well." but well-meaning that hurts both him and scar is just meddlesome.Ā
maybe they needed this though, in a way. it would be better if it came from a different place, subtler, gentler, but still. maybe they needed to work through exactly these feelings.
"anyone who says you're not good for me will get smacked," he threatens, remembering scar's (and kane's) offers to bite people who look at grian wrong, in a way returning the favour. "'coz they're wrong and they have no business spewing nonsense."
--
SCAR
Scar gladly takes up the offer to be smothered in affection, and he boldly chooses to corporealize his wings fully and gently tug them around the base of Grian's, knowing well that wing-on-wing contact is almost always acceptable. And right now that sort of thing brings immense comfort to him, too. It's something they both share, after all. A pair of wings and a pair of patched up hearts.
"I know they mean well..." Scar whines into Grian's chest this time, and though there's no cozy shawl to bury himself in, it's just as comforting. "but they don't know everything, and... and I know that's mostly on us, but god it's just... it's so much sometimes, Grian."Ā
It's not exactly pleasant to recall those memories. To try to explain just how horrific it was to their old friends. To look them in the eyes and admit that they're different now because they had to be. (And how they still hope to be loved despite it all.)
--
GRIAN
grian wraps scar up in his arms, holding him close. one hand in scar's hair, the other sliding down between his shoulderblades, rubbing at that point between his wings, unaware he's copying exactly what [REDACTED] did earlier.
the pressure of scar's wings over his own helps him settle a little, gives him comfort and courage through this glass-shards of a conversation.
"they don't know everything," he echoes quietly, kissing the top of scar's head before he leans his cheek on it, cradling him. "i just wish..." he closes his eyes and tugs at scar, holds him a little bit tighter. he doesn't really know how to finish that sentence; all the words feel like they're crashing and splintering over sharp cliffs.
all that's left in the rubble is a weary sense of defeat. "it is so much," he agrees. "it's so tiring to... they expect us to be..." he doesn't finish any of his sentences, but he wonders if scar understands anyway.
--
SCAR
Scar understands perfectly. He nods softly as he listens, lulled in by those soft touches, tears drying as he lets Grianās presence fully engulf him.
āā¦they expect us to be the same,ā Scar finishes for him, certain that Grianās had the same trouble he has, though perhaps to a different degree. āAndā¦ maybe we wonāt ever be. Butā¦ I donāt think all the ways we changed are bad. Likeā sure, weāre still messed up and jumpy andā¦ and I mean, frankly traumatized, butā¦ā Thereās an effort to poke his head up, but Scar finds himself too reluctant to leave the comfort of Grianās arms just yet. āWeāre also in love. Andā¦ we have a new appreciation for life. And each other.ā A half-sniffle, half-chuckle gets stuffed into Grianās chest. āā¦is that too sappy?ā
--
GRIAN
grian chuckles mirthlessly at the list of things they suck at, their reactions and trauma stitched close to them like their shadow, endless and monstrous, looming behind their every step. but scar is right: they have changed in so many messed up ways, and they might never be the same, but... it's not all bad.Ā
"we're in love," grian echoes, a notch lighter, just a little bit amused that the list of dark things ends with a complete shift, plunging them into sappiness. it's such a scar-like thing to do; he's aware of just how bad things have gotten, but that doesn't mean he won't fight to dredge up every little optimistic and hopeful thing out of it anyway.
grian loves it. it's gotten him through many dark times, this quality that scar has. his tenacious way of thinking and latching onto bright things, even if it's a barely flickering flame amidst complete, terrifying darkness.
he kisses his head again and then nuzzles against his hair, humming. "it's scar level sappy," he replies, mulling it, before landing on: "which means it's perfect."Ā
the only time scar's level of sappy is too much is when he's flustering grian, but he's not going to point that out, in case scar takes it as a challenge to compare the two right here and right now. (he'd be capable. grian knows.)Ā
he rubs at scar's back again, humming a soft melody, wanting to calm him further. but there's one thing even he can unearth from the ashes, something written into all their stitches and scars.
"we survived."Ā
nothing can beat that. no matter how they've changed, or what they can now see in a different light.
they made it.
"and we're good for each other."
--
SCAR
Scar giggles at the term. Scar-level sappy, indeed. His own brand of optimism, wrapped in layers of insecurity but boundless levels of adoration.Ā
And it got him this far, didnāt it?
āWe survived,ā Scar repeats, because thatās so damn important. They survived. And they did it because they were together.
Because theyāre good together.
āā¦the power of love,ā Scar adds, soft and sentimental and maybe just a bit goofy, hoping to turn the tides from tears to mirthful laughter.
--
GRIAN
once again he gets grian to giggle in a fragile momentāa talent scar has and grian values. in retaliation, he shifts his hands, brings them much closer, until he can tease at scar's ears.Ā
"we survived, so now i can do this!" his cheeks are still wet, and he feels depleted from all the heavy emotions, but he still manages a grin as he tries to make scar squirm.
--
SCAR
Scar barks out a fit of genuine laughter, somewhat startled by the shift, but he canāt complain when his lips are suddenly tipped into a bright smile and his ears are flicking wildly at the affectionate abuse.Ā
āHey!! No fair! Iāve been so gentle!!ā he cackles, already shedding that mercy and tickling at Grianās ribs.
---------------
aaand i'm going to end on this note (because you know it devolves again. we're good at making things fall apart repeatedly <3 a great angst loop if you ask me.)
but, i'm going to leave you with a little bonus. which is what me and link talked about today. on this same topic, really.
which is how scar changed. hermits know him as the guy who dies a lot, right? also easily distracted, carefree, easily dissipating into giggles, easily brushing things off. all of that.
he could get startled by a fly. he'd yelp and stumble and fall over when he got scared.
but that other world forced other things on him. it forced him to be brave, or at least, to seem like it. forced him to fight to keep himself and grian safe. fight for them both to survive.
now when he gets scared? there are wings and claws and fangs.
he couldn't show weakness in that world, you know?
and it sticks. it sinks its talons into him and holds.
the only person he shows weakness around is grian. and... maybe if he'd been willing to show it more around the other hermits, they'd see that he's still scar.
that he's still scar and he's hurting and afraid.
(yes blame link for this heartbreak brb sobbing with u)
also. a potential conversation:
someone saying to grian (while scar is also possibly there): "scar came back... wrong."
grian angrily counters with "no, scar came back different but not wrong."
and then
quieter
"... i came back wrong."
because, think about it. scar changed, but it can be argued that some of it is better and he's just being misunderstood. but grian? grian can't imagine any good coming from how he's now.
he didn't grow braver or kinder or stronger or any of those things. he just caused [REDACTED]. he's a scared, hurting mess. there's nothing good about him now.
as link said in our discord dms: scar needs to scoop grian up and remind him that he's here for the whole ride. he'll be here while grian learns to heal.
because he will heal.
#ange answers#ribbon anon#hhau#cw abuse allegations#cw self harm#uh#i don't know what's a good tag to use to make this safe#if i need to add any cws please please do not hesitate to let me know!!!#vex scar#this is post return pre wedding#buch of this was flat out copied from discord dms#so hopefully it makes sense all stitched together#angst and breakdowns#also yes here's a proof we wildly swing in the rp reply length#from a single line to āall the way to discord nitro character limitā#sorry for the redacted bits#it was the only way i could share all this with u#pls don't hate#(but also. are you scared of all the REDACTED bits yetā)#one day (if i'll remember) i'll uncover all of these redacted parts#grian and scar struggle so so so hard with letting people in after everything#hope u enjoyed this mess <33#fyi the biting thing started in the hotspring bit which i am still uhhhh#working on those rambles
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