#you mean I have to learn an actual social skill and not just be nice and bring snack? disgusting

[consolecadet]

When I was a teenager, the way I tried to get new people to like me was to bake cookies and share them. I think to some extent I still operate on that system, and that's part of why the whole celiac situation is so upsetting to me. I can't get people to like me with excellent cookies if my cookies are the kind everybody makes fun of for being shitty :/

[silverwhittlingknife]

How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?

Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.

(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)

Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).

Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.

Dick

Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:

Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?

A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:

Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.

Fighting with friends in Titans 13:

Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -

Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:

Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.

Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:

Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.

Strengths:

I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.

And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.

And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.

So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.

So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...

Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.

Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.

Weaknesses:

This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.

When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:

To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).

Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.

Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."

Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)

When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)

And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.

But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3

OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...

Tim

Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:

Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)

A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:

Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?

Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)

Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.

Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:

Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.

(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.

Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:

Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.

Strengths:

Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?

I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.

Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")

So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!

And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?

And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.

And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.

Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.

Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.

So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)

So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)

I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.

(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)

Weaknesses:

Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.

This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.

This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:

Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.

By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.

(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)

You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).

But you also get some useful character notes:

Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).

Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)

This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.

(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)

An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.

Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.

More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.

That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.

And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Does anyone have advice for getting over the embarrassment of speaking a language you aren’t good at with other people? I’ve studied Spanish, I know a little bit of Spanish, I am trying to learn more Spanish specifically for healthcare providers, but when I’m faced with an actual primarily Spanish speaking patient at my job, I get so nervous and tongue tied I’m like “maybe ‘buenos noches actually means I’m gonna kill you with morphine….i better stick entirely to English.” I know it’s the embarrassment! I don’t wanna sound stupid! And because so many of my patients understand a little English, I can usually muddle thru basic conversations relying on them. Which sucks! I feel bad about that! I’m like “I don’t want to talk in a language I’m not fluent in, so I’ll make them talk in a language I’m not fluent in.”

Also to be clear, this is all for stuff like “do you need the bathroom” or “do you want a pepsi from the kitchen.” I will always use an interpreter for anything more complicated than basic needs. But it’s a pain in the ass to use the interpreter ipad, and no one likes it, including the patients. It’d be nice to use it less and to be able to have more of a rapport with my patients. The foundation of my whole nursing practice is casual small talk with patients to learn more about them and their needs, and my Spanish speaking patients don’t get that.

(Neither do my patients who speak Russian or Taishanese or Vietnamese or but like. I don’t expect myself to learn every language in the world. Right now I just want to learn the language I theoretically kinda learned.)

I’ve been really working on pushing myself to try to speak more Spanish, at least a little bit, but I just have this mental block that I can’t push thru. It’s like all the social anxiety I’ve learned to otherwise cope with or moved on from settled entirely in my insecurity about my language skills. It’s nuts. Then I feel guilty about it which makes the block bigger which I feel guilty about, do you see the pattern here. Has anyone have any advice or resources? Not just for learning the language—I would also really appreciate those—but specifically dealing with this language embarrassment?

[scientia-rex]

Long ask. I didn't see that you had answered anything similar.

How do I do activism? Yes, I could Google it, but I would rather learn from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience on Tumblr than from a stranger with claimed yet unverifiable experience anywhere else, and I'm here and so are you and we can talk and have a [para]social interaction. I won't bore you with a condensed autobiography, but I have a lot of experience fixing mistakes, not unlike being a physician, but far less noble, what David Graber would call a "duct-taper". It's partly what led me to socialism. I fixed mistakes but could not fix the root causes and, when I investigated those causes, I ran into structure. I couldn't explain the human behavior I witnessed as human nature, because it wasn't my nature and, as far as I know, I'm human, so the only explanation I could come up with was that the structure of the company I worked for created the problems I was trying to solve, and I had no power to change that structure, and no desire to join the psychopaths failing up the corporate ladder. I expanded my thinking outward and saw the problem inherent in capitalism and all the associated -isms and -archies, all the while trying to figure out what I could do that could possibly change any of it. I dove into progressive politics, read theory, consumed all the lefty content I could find, and thought, and keep running into the same problems. But even if the root causes cannot be addressed, the effects still need to be, because the effects are people, hence activism.

How do I talk to congresspeople? I email them about issues, but am frankly afraid to call them. Shall I get voice mail, or does a person pick up? If the latter, I'm assuming it will be a secretary. I don't want to be mean to a person answering phones. I've been one of those people getting yelled at or threatened because of events I did not cause and could not possibly prevent or change and, maybe I'm oversensitive or have PTSD or just a hyperactive amygdala, but I cannot overstate the damage those negative experiences cause. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, the lives that can be saved or improved outweigh a few people's hurt feelings or possible psychological trauma, but I would prefer not to turn this into a trolley problem if at all possible. Maybe it's a stupid question. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I can be charming and I have no lack of empathy; I can politely disagree. Shall I have to argue with anyone? Or is it a thank-you-for-your-participation-I-will-tell-the-congressperson-have-a-nice-day situation?

How do I get a job doing good things for people? This is somewhat pressing as I quit my corporate job five years ago, to have what turned out to be a midlife crisis, and have been living off savings (that are running out) ever since. I want to help and don't want to be ashamed of what I do for a living. I've always been able to do anything I've ever tried to do, but I'm 45 with little formal education or qualifications, and am thinking it's maybe too late to go back to school. Most of the non-profits I see seem like little more than scams. And perhaps the most serious complication: I'm a loner, more out of habit than inclination. I'll spare you the background, but I have no connections and no idea how to make them, and I don't believe I have any particular skills so valuable that should confer an immediate advantage or demand for my labor, but then again I don't know what is in demand.

It's OK if you can't answer some of these things. I simply have no one to talk to about them who can give any actual advice and figured you might. Thanks.

How to do activism: The first thing you need to know is your axe to grind. It was easy for me. I've been out since I was 13, nobody ever believes a girl is bisexual, it's always "you want attention" or "you're secretly a lesbian." That was in 1997. I went through hell and I'm bitter about it. So when I realized I liked medicine, I realized I could turn my life into an extended revenge arc by moving home and telling everybody it's OK to be gay. Two birds, one stone. I work with a woman who didn't get her axe to grind until about three years ago. She realized she was fed up with people abandoning dogs. She's one of the most active volunteers at the local shelter now. She's saved a lot of dogs' lives. She didn't start out knowing anything about it, but she told the shelter she wanted to volunteer, and they've helped her grow through the rest of it. My husband works with the local food bank, because his mom's neighbor (who is a family friend and sweetheart) wrangled him in to serving on the board, so now in addition to board meetings once a month he goes in sometimes to do things like help his mom's friend unload trucks. Sometimes the cause picks you, sometimes you pick the cause, sometimes you are the cause. And no matter what the cause is, someone else is already working on it. Someone else already cares deeply and if you show up ready to be hands on and help out, with humility because you know that you don't know everything, they will help you learn how to be effective. I started out in medicine by volunteering at the emergency room near where I lived. I pushed a linen cart around and restocked gowns in rooms, and when I couldn't fit any more washcloths into drawers I cleaned doorknobs. One of the nurses once told me she really appreciated that I cleaned all the doorknobs, because it wasn't getting regularly done. I am in medicine now because of many, many people I asked for help and who helped me because they wanted to contribute to justice and equity in medicine, whether for queers or rural people or women. This is, and has always been, a combined effort. Alone we beg, together we bargain.

Calling elected representatives: Oh god I know, me too, calling strangers is the LITERAL WORST. I'm 40 and I'd rather pepper-spray myself than argue with a human on the phone. Wait until after hours and you'll get a voicemail. I like to leave voicemails that start with "My name is Dr. Rex, I'm a constituent of yours, and I VOTE, and I'm calling about ____." That's honestly about all it takes--when I was hanging out with the lobbyist she told me they keep lists with tick-marks for how many calls, emails, etc., they get on a topic. Calls count for more. The more effort you have to put in, the more engaged they know you are. So call, but if people scare you (and the people who pick up are almost always nice, if you do get a person, and they will 99/100 times say "thank you for your call, we will pass your concerns along to so-and-so"), call at night.

Going back to school is probably unnecessary. Spin your past experience aggressively and start applying to nonprofits. (You "took time off from the working world in order to sharpen your focus on what matters most to you," which will be whatever this particular group does.) It's OK if you pick a bad one to start with; most of them are shit-shows, and lots of them still accomplish good things. Nonprofits are a bloodbath when it comes to actually being an employee--they know that part of the compensation is the sense of living ethically and they will use your altruism against you--so keep your resume updated and be prepared to bail if grant funding doesn't come through, but most areas have food banks and pet shelters and human shelters and jails and medical clinics and hospitals (for every doctor who works at the local hospital there are at least 10 support staff by the numbers, and they are utterly critical and always under-staffed). Sometimes if you start by volunteering somewhere, once they realize you're dependable, you can get a job there. I am zero percent kidding about working for a hospital, clinic, or jail, by the way. Those are places I know well, and there are always civilian jobs available. You want to make a patient's day better? Be the front desk, front line staff who use the right pronouns and cheer them up.

I think it's completely reasonable to have procedural questions about how all of this works, and I am grateful to you for giving me a chance to talk about it a bit. Please feel free to ask any follow-up questions. And for reference, when I was just starting out in research at a time when the market for research-trained people frankly sucked, I applied well over 300 times and got well over 300 rejections (I was counting) before I ended up with a job that I loved (even though it was hellishly stressful and I made just barely more than minimum wage for working well over my alleged, salaried "hours") and felt like I was making a positive difference for the world with. And from there, I kept making changes as I realized what I wanted and needed. Just keep doing it. You don't have to feel good about every step, you don't have to know what you're doing, just keep putting one foot in front of the other as you try to figure out what will make you happy. Because nothing else is a good proxy for happiness, and happiness, for a whole lot of humans, means finding something meaningful to do in life. Helping others. Be okay with changing, be okay with sacrificing who you are right now for the sake of who you can become. You've survived four decades on this bizarre and cruel planet, and you have inherent, intrinsic worth as a human being. You deserve your own kindness.

[a-new-wish-6-3]

Another reason why peri has problems with dev.

A lot of people already mentioned peris Lack of experience, his good relationship with his parents and the babying which leads to dev not treating peri nice.

But i want to add one more thing which a lot of people dont take actually in Account. And that is that dev is the first Person peri ever met who was younger than him and its been a long time since he met someone close to his own age, making him socially indept. After all peri is the only fairy born in a tousand years. With the closed fairy in age beeing his dad.

If we go with timmy, peri had someone close to his age until he was 6-8. Than cosmo and wanda quit and moved to fairy world. There we know that no humans are allowed and that other species dont really live there. So peri is the only kid in the entire world.

Could have peri have at least had friends from other species ? Humans, pixys, anti-fairys are out. But maybe he made friends in school.

I think the school we say is one of many and as people grow older they go into seperate school. I am no Expert in fairly oddparents but i know we saw cosmo at least two times in school. One where mama cosma showed him around 6 years old in a Montage and one where we saw cosmo old school bullys. What both have in Common is that there where only fairys around. Which makes sence to put all species together to learn reading, math, etc and than seperate because they have different powers, cultures, body, historys, etc. So peri ( and irep ) would start eather homeschooling or continue to learn in an completly empty school with no other students besides himself. Considering cosmo and wanda lack of some knowledge i can see him going to school ( irep can learn from anti cosmo ).

The godparent school is the one where i am 100 % sure that peri was in an empty school. Not only did cosmo and wanda didnt know he was studying and becoming an godparent, but no other species is allowed to take this curse.

Meaning peri had one older kid in timmy only until he was 6-8 and some clasmates the same age as his until maybe 5 and than spent the Rest of his years in a world where every other Person was an adult.

Peri only worked with people much more mature than him. That is why he never expects that some things children do are stupid and they will not say what they need. Dev will just demand things and not tell him what he really needs because figuring out your Problem and beeing mature enough to find an answer or at least be able to pinpount where it cames from is not a ten year old skill. Cosmo and wanda talked to timmy about his problems and where able to get to his problems by reading between the lines if he didnt want to outride tell them what upset him or didnt know himself why he was mad. Peri expects dev to be able to tell him what he needs, which is not a skill neglected kids have and beeing able to read such Moods require experience which younger or at least closed aged people. If you never had friends you will be socially indept.

In short peri treats dev like an adult. He explains things outride and expects dev to understand and is lost if dev isnt capable of explaining his anger to him. So he cant know what dev is thinking or how to treat a child in general.

Peri never had a real childhood or close friends. He only had his parents which is great in Forming bonds with adults but takes away his ability to Adapt to younger or even same aged people.

That can also be why he hates beeing babyed. If you are the only child with a Buch of adults you will want to be an adult just so you could fit in somewhere. Showing himself more mature than he actually is and even hiding some of his childness ( like hazel did ). Except peri did this forever. Quiet sad actually. Thank god his parents are such goofy people, showing him it is okay to keep some childishness even as you grow up. Otherwise peri would never been allowed to even act like a child.

[siswritesyanderes]

Hii! Would you ever consider writing a yandere snowjanus x reader fic or imagine?

-🐣

Oh boy, I love it.

Imagining they both noticed you at around the same time, separately.

This could be in the Capitol or in District 12; the difference does matter, as far as power dynamic and the tactics available to them and frankly their hairstyles, but for the sake of this post we'll say it could be either one. If necessary, maybe I'll make a separate post for what they're like specifically in the Capitol or specifically in the Districts. (Actually, whether you're a Capitol citizen or a District citizen is also a means of variation, so really there are four different combinations, unless we treat Sejanus' kind of District-born Capitol citizen status as a separate category, in which case five; being District-born Capitol would only matter in the Capitol setting, not the District. Does any of that make sense?)

They both fall for you, but Coriolanus is better at hiding it behind a formal, personable mask. He observes that Sejanus likes you, and if it were anyone else he would feel annoyed and possibly threatened, but he feels pretty in control of Sejanus, so he actually nudges him closer.

His thought is, if he can get Sejanus to do all the work of courting you, he can pretty much slide in there effortlessly once that's done. Let Sejanus clear the way, ward off suitors, prove his loyalty and affection. (Meanwhile, Coriolanus can focus on his University work, his mentorship with Dr. Gaul, whatever other ladder-climbing he's got going on.)

If Sejanus manages to actually win your affections, Coriolanus can use Sejanus' affection for him to add himself to the relationship.

If Sejanus can't win your affections, then at least he got rid of the other suitors. Coryo can take it upon himself to be charming and win you over, and then he can graciously allow Sejanus access to you as well. He does actually like Sejanus and enjoy the idea of charitably sharing someone like you with him; he just will always see himself as the de facto highest-ranking and most important member of the polycule.

The way this looks, in practice, is: Sejanus admires you from afar and feels a passive envy towards any other romantic entities in your life. Coriolanus urges him to act on these feelings, needles the productive insecurities and soothes the unproductive ones. Sejanus trusts Coriolanus when he says that certain people in your life are taking advantage of you or hurting you in some way, believes him when he says that getting rid of them is the right thing to do.

So, Sejanus does things that, left to his own devices, he might only have fantasized about.

It's Sejanus' money and shooting skills backed by Coriolanus' rationalizations and manipulations.

Inside, Sejanus knows that what he's doing is wrong, but Coriolanus is good at making sure the worst of him is rewarded with praise, attention, and you.

With you, Coriolanus is smooth and flattering. He has all the social graces and charming repartee down to a science, if not an art. He is observant, accommodating, and just generally great to be with.

Sejanus is less polished, more endearingly stuck in his head. He's a smart, witty guy, but around you he gets really shy and earnestly wholesome in a way his years in the Capitol have not encouraged. He's been bullied, and he's learned not to be too vulnerable with people, but he finds himself saying really heartfelt stuff to you, and that makes him feel even more helpless than knowing how many crimes he's done to get here.

Coriolanus loves the degree of control over Sejanus promised by the fact that he's the only one who knows about the crimes Sejanus has committed. Like I said, he genuinely likes Sejanus. It feels good to know Sejanus is in so deep and can't turn back. He's going to want to have the same kind of leverage on you, whether it's secrets, financial power, or whatever else. He needs to make sure you need him.

Being with them is nice. They're cute, they're pleasant, they make you laugh.

Sejanus is one of the few people you can talk to about not liking the Hunger Games who will explicitly agree. Coriolanus just sits silently during these conversations, rolls his eyes fondly at both of you, and reminds you not to say any of that in public.

The fact that Coriolanus basically is a Gamemaker now is something that Sejanus weirdly tolerates. You're not sure how the guy who threw a chair in anger, back at the Academy, has resigned himself to just sighing about the inhumanity of it all while sharing a loveseat with his Gamemaker boyfriend. Maybe his time as a Peacekeeper tamed him somehow.

He's comfortable. You're also comfortable. It's weird.

This isn't a kidnapping scenario; you're just in a relationship with the two of them, and as long as you don't try to break up or withdraw in any way, it's all smooth as satin.

If you start going against the grain, though, you're going to find out how many hooks Coriolanus has already put in place. You'll start to see the strings on everything in your life, including Sejanus.

You want to take a trip with your family instead of staying in town to attend a formal event with Coryo and Sejanus? All of a sudden some private statement you made in the past about disliking the Games has been flagged as treasonous, and you're not allowed to travel until the matter is resolved. (If you go to the event with them, the issue swiftly goes away. He explains that he had Dr. Gaul pardon you.)

You want to take a break from staying over with them every other evening, because someone in your family is sick or injured? Suddenly, the hospital can no longer care for your relative for an affordable price, because the Plinths' donations have mysteriously stopped and treatment prices have skyrocketed. Coriolanus is glad to personally pay for them to be cared for.

The more you push, the more stuff will fall apart. If the first little intimidation tactics work as intended, you won't have to see the full extent of the trap.

Coriolanus gives you a jabberjay in a birdcage, as a gift, and uses it to spy on you. He might place Sejanus in charge of obtaining information from the jabberjay, because Coryo loooooves to keep his hands clean.

(Let me know if you liked it!)

[heartfullofleeches]

Here to once again advocate doll pilot reader this time with a clown performer mix. Quirky scientist reader who has the brains, but not the smarts when it comes to interacting with real people and partners with a tech company for the funds and equipment to make a functioning robot to get around town. The contract comes with the added deal of reader becoming a star on a show they've had in the works for a while about an android learning the ropes of life as a human - which in turn works in favor for reader and their poor social skills

Reader presents far more cheerful than they are in person most of the cast assume their robot to be advanced a.i. Their genuine confusion on basic human educate and them stuffing bagels in their mouth to take to their human self sells their clueless act well. A few might've developed a little obsession crush on the bot but alas it could never be... If only...

"Hey, can you pass me that charger?"

"Sure." Their co-star smiles as the android unstraps the bracelet from its arm and plugs the cord into an outlet on their wrist - hooking the charger up to the phone in their hand. It yawns without a breathe - rubbing at its eyes. So cute♡- Just where did they get the parts to make this bot.... what's that room on their screen?

"This? It's my bedroom. Needed to do some cleaning today but obviously I had work. Might do some while I'm sleep since my link we have is neurological."

It sure is.... wait- huh?

"Nobody ever tell you? Actually, only like... three people know so I don't blame you. I'm human just like you.. well, the me back home is. I have severe anxiety and not as chipper as I am on stage. Nice to meet ya - name's Y/n, but I'm sure you already knew that."

... ah.. that - definitely wasn't in the pamphlets.

In come the - innocent queries about the real you. Your bot is modeled off you - are you as cute as it? What's your full name? Address? Oops- looks like your charger disappeared. Filming took extra long today - might run out of battery before you get home. Maybe your kind, well meaning coworker can bring it to you?

crackpost under cut

Yan: I'm so happy to finally have you home, angel. Anything I can get you?

Human Reader: Just a glass of water, please-

Yan: anything for you dearest~

[Human Reader kicks off their shoe and takes the sleeping pill from their sock as their Yan returns]

Human Reader: Thank you- [swallows the pill and passes out - their robot kicking down the front door, smacking the shit outta their yan, and carring their human body back home. Yan, broke jaw and all, takes a picture of their sleeping angel carried away in their own arms]

Yan: worth it...

-

[Robot Reader picks up groceries after work covered up by a surgical mask and an oversized sweater. One of their fans sneaks up and tags magnet to their backside]

Yan fan: found you, dear~

Robot Reader: oh! Haha, ya got me! Would you like an autograph? Here- [wheels their cart into the fan and sprints off into the parking lot.]

-

Human Reader, watching Yan make out with their robot before their identity is revealed thinking noone is watching:

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Hello!

Can I request something the Horror Group and both sets of dance bros?

My request is this, when S/O was younger they were a professional dancer but after an accident to their legs s/o could never dance again without strong pain.

S/O told there skeleton lover but it’s obvious they miss dancing

Thank you!

Horrortale Sans - He understands. There are a lot of things he used to do he can't do now, all because one person he thought was a friend turned out was not. That's ok though. With time, you learn to cope even if it's still bitter. Oak is nice to you all day after that, just making sure you feel like you're not alone.

Horrortale Papyrus - Welp. Same. He tells you he used to jog every morning before Undyne fucked up his back so bad he almost stayed paralyzed. He missed being able to be his energetic self like before and running around to annoy people. Now he just feels nostalgic and sad :( But that's ok, you can be sad with him, it will probably reverse the sadness around.

Horrorswap Sans - He stays strangely silent, just staring at his missing arm Then he suddenly leaves the room. Sorry, he doesn't like to talk about his disability. It's still too recent and he struggles a lot with accepting he can't do things the way he did anymore.

Horrorswap Papyrus - He gently hugs you to comfort you. Or to comfort himself, he's not sure anymore. It just feels like a situation where you hug people. Honey tells you that with how science evolves, he hopes someone will find a way for you to dance again.

Horrorfell Sans - That's fine. You can't move your booty like before, but he assures you that you don't need to dance to have the best booty in the whole world. You don't even know what to say to this. Sorry, Copper is not the best at comforting people, he doesn't have the social skills to do so. Forgive him, he tried.

Horrorfell Papyrus - He's sorry for you, he knows the feeling. But that's ok, there are many ways you can practice without hurting too much, like underwater. He has therapy sessions to help him with his legs every week in a pool, he could take you one time to see if you like it. He's sure you can find some way to have fun. He also wants someone so badly to have fun with him. It feels lonely sometimes facing his disability all alone.

Dancetale Sans - Welp, he's your man for this. What if he has some ways to help you with this? He's a dance instructor and he actually has a specialization for people with disabilities. He will gladly help you to have your moves back and with caution so you don't overdo yourself.

Dancetale Papyrus - He's very encouraging and tries to push you so you can know his brother a little better. He wants you to join Rambo special classes, he's sure 100% that you will find what you need there. Unfortunately, he's a bit too energetic to join. He's too scared he might accidentally hurt you if he goes a little too far. But Rambo knows the tricks and he's sure you'll dance again eventually, trust him.

Dancefell Sans - He completely stops to dance because he loves you and he knows it might hurt you to see him practicing. He doesn't miss it that much, he just doesn't want to hurt you more. You two can find another sports activity that you can do, and he'll gladly join. He's not difficult, as long as he's with you, he's very fine!

Dancefell Papyrus - Tango is probably not the best match as he's way too energetic and has a hard time to focus on things. He often accidentally outpasses your boundaries, even if he means well, and he might hurt you eventually, despite having the best intentions. He would try to be better, but he can't really change how energic he is and he would just feel guilty and frustrated looking at you gets sad because he has to dance to feel better sometimes, which he really doesn't want. He want the best for you, he's just too clumsy to really be helpful.

[ilikemicrowaves]

WHY CARNELIAN SHOULD HAVE LIVED

@whymori @kiwiwisdeathday

Character recap for people who don't analyze Carnelian:

Carnelian was a skywing who attended JMA for only 3 days before being killed in an accidental explosion in the history cave done by Sora of the mudwings. Formerly she was a child soldier under Queen Ruby and claimed she would kill Scarlet herself if she was alive. In Moon Rising, Moon listend to her thoughts about how she seen education as a punishment and hoped that Queen Ruby would let her drop out to become a general and protect the palace, again proving her loyalty to Ruby. She had "blood-soaked dreams" and judged dragons depending on there battle skills. She didn't like dragons or making friends. She earned Umbers respect after she realized they had possibly fought in the war, side by side. Although her timid and harsh personality, she was actually really insecure about herself and thought the dragons around her found her stupid as well as her life goals.

♡—–——☆°●°☆————♡

This, is a type of character I would want to read about. I was so excited to learn about Carnelian reading Moon Rising, each page she got I enjoyed every bit of it and couldn't wait to see how her and Moon's relationship would turn out. Until I got to the cave explosion announcing her and Bigtails death... Like, come on Tui, you can't just write a really interesting character who's character arc would be really cool and then toss them aside! Moon Rising is still great, one of my favorite books. I just really wish Carnelian was kept alive or atleast longer more than not even half a book.

If I could rewrite the cave scene, yes, I would explode Carnelian but Instead of killing her off, I would make it to where she was extremely injured. Thus, making her disabled, and this would be good for wof to have more disabled representations in the series because there's only like 2 disabled characters out of the hundreds of existing ones.

When Darkstalker is manipulating Moon when she was trying to sleep, he claims he had a vision of Carnelian carelessly killing Kinkajou because she was being to annoying. Which yes, this could be true, but has anyone considered that maybe Darkstalker was lying? He could've only said this to manipulate Moon that her powers are a gift instead of a curse. Speaking of Moonwatcher, her relationship with Carnelian would have been really interesting to watch playout.

Carnelian to other dragons is a rude, narracistic dragon, when really she's aware she is not as smart as others, and has created this sort of mask to hid it by fighting and picking on others to not just appear confident and bigger, but to make her feel better about herself. No other dragons know this, but Moonwatcher. Moonwatcher is a kind dragon, so most likely she would try to be nice to Carnelian instead of assuming she's just a mean person.

And Carnelian doesn't see Moon as a weak dragonet, she was actually impressed by her hunting skills when she caught that goat.

But Moonwatcher isn't the only dragon who would be willing to approach Carnelian, Umber. Umber was confident enough to point out the fact that he thought him and Carnelian had fought in war together, atleast trying to appear friendly and say, "hey, i recognize you, maybe we could be mutuals." When cleary she was acking grumpy and angry to try and repel everyone from approaching her. This simple action of Umber's made Carnelian realize that she may have allies here.

I wouldn't expect Umber and Carnelian to immediately become friends but rather Carnelian finding comfort that she has an alley. Maybe even warming up to him and putting effort to hang out with him and Turtle. It's even shows in the books before her death that she was slightly trying to be friendly with others. When Winter was asking Moon about Bandit, Carnelian joked that he might be delicious, and it's unclear if she was serious. But, in this scene she is more social when we first met her, not pushing or name-calling dragons like before. So this could indicate that she is trying to be a tiny bit friendly but also still stern. I'm not saying that her and Winter would become absolute best friends but have a mutual respect for each other in some way.

And WHY is nobody talking about how Carnelian and Peril have a past?? Like, HELLO?? When Peril arrives at the school Carnelian is convinced that Peril would never harm her. And Tui just leaves it at that without ANY explanation? Where they friends? Rivals? LOVERS? I highly doubt that last but it gives potential to all the Carnelian x Peril fans out there so many ideas (honestly, I've only seen like 3 people that ship this and I hope you guys are having a nice dinner eating your crumbs.((do you guys even have ship name for them?))

The amount of fanfic ideas I have in my head for a Carnelian lives au is insane tho, and I have many doodles of all of them together. I just want to read and look at content where the school was ran properly and that nobody died. Happy trauma babies learning trust and the magic of friendship :D but if anybody would like to see content of the Carnelian lives au, I am in progress of writing a fanfic right now for it, so stay tuned my Carnelian lovers.

[starcurtain]

Haikaveh Fanfics I Really Want to Read (Part 1)

Part 2. ->

1. A run-in with a cursed artifact on a research trip leaves Alhaitham intangible and invisible. He can't be seen, heard, or even open his precious books (which is the real tragedy here). Things go from bad to worse when it's discovered that the only person who can break the curse is someone who "knows Alhaitham by heart."

Problem is, nobody does. The only one who might even come close is Kaveh, and will he really be willing to go out of his way to research Alhaitham's deepest secrets just to bring his scathing roommate back?

Turns out the answer is yes, and Alhaitham is left invisibly watching over Kaveh's increasingly desperate attempts to learn more about the most private person in all of Sumeru.

Yeah... Alhaitham's probably doomed.

(Or: The Akademiya's erstwhile scribe has nothing better to do than stalk follow his roommate around unseen, gets a front row seat to Kaveh's tough life, undergoes the mortifying ordeal of being known, and realizes just how much his own cold nature has left him isolated from the world.)

Rest under the read more:

2. Another research trip gone wrong: While Kaveh's out of town on a job and without a shield this time, Alhaitham takes a nasty knock to the head during a fight. Although he wakes up all right, he doesn't have the faintest idea who or where he is. Quick-thinking nature intact, Alhaitham decides to fake his way through on context clues for a while. It's an interesting experiment, after all, to learn about his own life from an outsider's perspective.

Too bad a very silly series of coincidences occur (i.e. Kaveh took most of his work things with him for his trip, so his room is pretty bare; they wash their laundry together to save water; and everyone keeps asking Alhaitham why some mysterious "Kaveh" guy isn't with him), all of which lead Alhaitham to the absolutely incorrect assumption that this missing "Kaveh" person is his significant other. Imagine Kaveh's shock when he returns home to a very out-of-character greeting...

(But I mean, really, does Alhaitham need his memories back? This is kind of nice, you know...)

3. Requirements for a Desirable Life (According to Alhaitham):

1. Match your actions to your talents (read as: go with the flow) 2. Low stress, high paying job (read as: the balancing act between making oneself seem indispensable while underachieving as much as possible is a talent) 3. Nice home with a short commute (read as: at-home lunch hours every day) 4. Books (read as: soon as possible) 5. Kaveh (read as: the light of my life who I moved into my house through admittedly somewhat underhanded tactics just to keep him close to me, but what was I supposed to do--tell him I have actual feelings? Impossible, in the most literal of senses)

Or: Alhaitham pursues his plan for an ideal lifestyle in an utterly single-minded and undeterrable fashion... except when comes to his roommate, who--for someone so good at drawing up his own designs--also seems terribly good at ruining Alhaitham's.

Just fall in love with me already.

(Basically, I just want to see Alhaitham be the pining one for once. He is one checkmark away from his dream life, but he'd rather sell his soul to Lord Sangemah Bay than confess without knowing how Kaveh feels first.)

4. Alhaitham is preeminently capable. He's beyond a genius. His research could rewrite the laws of reality if he tried hard enough. But he's also... terrible with people. Actually, terrible is an understatement. If Alhaitham is murdered one day, it'll be because he finally committed one too many social faux pas and honestly the masses will probably say he had it coming. Thank the lesser lord that the Akademiya's scribe has someone as gregarious as Kaveh around to help him mend his obtuse ways, right?

Or: Five times Kaveh tried to lecture Alhaitham on social skills, and the one time Alhaitham put all those lessons into practice... on Kaveh.

5. The very silly comedy one: If someone were to ask Kaveh what the very worst thing about living with Alhaitham is, he'd say--well, first he'd say "Who told you?!", but after that, he'd say something that might come as a surprise. The worst thing about living with Alhaitham isn't their constant snarking and diametrically-opposed mindsets. It isn't the tacky, asymmetrical furniture Alhaitham keeps bringing home because it was "practical and inexpensive." (Kaveh's skin is crawling.) It isn't even the fact that his so-called "landlord" reminds Kaveh all too often about his unpaid rent while never lifting a finger himself to do the dishes.

Nope. The worst thing about living with Alhaitham is the experiments.

"How many books can I leave on top of Kaveh's sketches before he yells at me?"

"How angry will Kaveh get if I drink the expensive wine he brought home last night?"

"How many days will it take Kaveh to notice I keep rearranging all the stuff on his shelves while he's out?"

"How many times can I suggest he add Aranara statues to his designs before he tries to strangle me?"

It's bullying, is what it is! There's no limits to Alhaitham's behavior when his curiosity is piqued--the only thing that matters to him is the answer to whatever outrageous new question he's thought up in that thick head of his. And of course, the louder Kaveh shouts, the more "experiments" Alhaitham seems to dream up...

Honestly, someone ought to give him a taste of his own medicine!

(Or: Alhaitham and Kaveh end up in an exponentially escalating social experiment competition, pushing as hard as they can to find the other's boundaries. One of them has to break and give up soon, right?! Too bad Alhaitham's the god of stubbornness, and Kaveh's eternal peace of mind is on the line--if he can just win this, Alhaitham will finally give it up and quit bothering him! He can't chicken out first!

Because they're both very Normal™, it turns out there's not a single boundary to be found.

Well, at least answering the question "How many times can I walk in on him in the shower before he kicks me out of the house?" might save them some money on the water bill?

By the way, Kaveh wins. It turns out the answer to "How many dog ears can I fold into the pages of Alhaitham's books before he tries to kill me?" is 0.)

[usamifriends]

On Iori's Attitude

As I mentioned, Iori's attitude and words seem to be affecting Riku more in the game. And it makes sense because Iori's words are quite harsh. He says things like "You’re unreliable" or "Please act more like your age". But, like Mitsuki says, he’s not actually annoyed with Riku and Tsumugi. In fact, he can't help but want to take care of people like them.

This misunderstanding-causing attitude of his can be traced back to his upbringing. We get to see a little bit of the Izumi family dynamics in Iori's 2017 Birthday Rabbit Chat (The card with the photobook). Iori's mother is quite the airhead—she once mistook a 1,000 yen bill for a 10,000 yen one—while his father seems to be more put together. He speaks formally like Iori. (The Izumi bakery relies on Izumi mama's exceptional tastebuds + Izumi papa's damage control organization skills). In the chat, we see that Iori also speaks rather harshly to his mother:

Iori's mom: Looking at a book filled with your pictures made me cry. You're all grown up now. Iori: Mom... Iori's mom: You're no longer the Iori who would sob because his Mitsuki nii-chan has to go to school. You were so cute back then, crying, "Make the school go awaaay~~~" Iori: Mom! Iori's dad: How nostalgic. We didn't know how to calm you down. In the end, we'd bring you to the shop, and you'd quietly stare at the cakes. Tsumugi: Just imagining it makes me feel bad for him...! I didn't expect the cool Iori-san would have such a cute moment. Iori: No, that’s just my airheaded mother's delusion. Please do not believe a word she said. Iori's dad: Now, Iori, that's no way to speak to your mother. Iori: B-but Iori's dad: Iori? Iori: I'm sorry...

Iori tells his mom that she is "airheaded" and "delusional". While these words may come off as extremely disrespectful to outsiders, his mother and the rest of his family doesn’t seem to mind, as seen by the fact that neither his mother nor his father was very mad or offended by Iori's words. As seen, Iori's father scolds Iori rather calmly. Afterwards, his mother just comments on how Mitsuki lectures people like his dad. It didn’t seem like she cares either.

As Tamaki observed, Iori tends to spend his time at school alone. Iori says it’s because he’s not good at socializing. This means of his conversations take place within his home. This may explain why he hasn’t fully considered how his words can impact others, particularly those who don’t know him well. It’s only after meeting Riku that Iori starts to really think about his choice of words (instead of just choosing to disengage). Interestingly, this aspect of Iori mirrors Riku, who also expresses his thoughts and opinions without much concern.

tl;dr

Iori is used to speaking harshly way with his family. No one in his family ever gets hurt from the way he speaks because they all know he's just all bark no bite, haha!

That being said, Iori does need to learn how to phrase things more nicely or to just...

Spend more time with Riku 😆

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

OFMD S2 EP 4-5: Izzy Hands (from a S1 Izzy fan)

I'll admit. I teared up at the Izzy shit in ep 1-3. Not a full-blown cry. But close. I was stressed, and tired, and hurt more than anything. I only cried in my car driving home. It hit, but it was more prolonged.

Do you know what got me crying? Izzy opened that letter, revealing 'For The New Unicorn'. He looks up and smiles. I went from 0-100 dry eyes to crying in seconds. I had to rewatch it because HELL.

The entire episode, hell, debatably from (S1ep4) we see Izzy go through it. Socially isolated and losing his identity. Leading up to S2ep4. Drunk and sad and heartbroken. He tries his best to stay afloat without a lifejacket as his self crumbles around him. He doesn't care anymore. He thinks his life is over. He lashes out because there's no one there to help him.

BUT THEN THE LEG. He cried and I cried during both scenes.

BECAUSE HE IS CARED ABOUT AND HE CAN HEAL!

GOD, and the way that leads into EPISODE 5. Izzy slicked his hair back and regaining some of his own personal identity. Izzy genuinely bantering with Stede, and gently helping him to be a better Captain. The way he desperately asks Stede if Ed said anything else nice about him? Showing that. Yeah, he's not all the way there yet, but he's working on it. The training scene where Izzy just looks on in fascinated horror at Stede's skills? THE LITTE OKAY HANDSIGNAL AT THE END WHEN STEDE USED HIS GRUFF VOICE? He smiles, and jokes, and TRIES. Izzy is pissed, obviously, but he's getting there.

He is kind and caring, all WHILE STILL BEING A PRICK? Him being a total nerd during the curse monologue? Izzy mutters 'rude' and pointedly crosses his legs as Stede ruins the vibe. I laughed harder at Izzy sitting at that desk than I did at most of the jokes in the show. THAT'S MY FUCKING BASTARD!! I'm so happy I saw a character and have been rewarded by showing, yes. He is kind, and trying, but he needs to learn to let himself become new.

I fucking love him. I can tell from the teaser that Izzy is just going to grow closer with the crew (and with himself) and I can't wait. (Even if it means his imminent capture, whoops).

I do think they'll do something with Izzy/Lucius, at least a single happy (Izzy no longer holding himself back from wanting) consensual kiss or genuine discussion about life(post-wedding) to show their growth as characters because I had to pause with the cig and shark interaction. Jesus Christ. I didn't really ship it before, but they are so snarky and it's great.

I'm a bit sad as Izzy's current arc likely means he might not get the big 'fuck you' moment of anger to Ed that Lucius got. Mainly because Con would make me cry, but If Izzy is genuinely just shoving this shit down, ignoring the years that Ed ignored his existence, then...idk.

They purposefully gave Izzy and Ed no scenes and thank god we get a TINY break. Because Ed will try to patch things up, and I don't think it works like that with Izzy. He needs proof that Ed is trying. Add to that Ed ACTUALLY saying sorry to him, and not expecting Izzy to immediately accept it(my theory as to why Lucius pointed it out: Ed will ACTUALLY say sorry to Izzy and mean it. This will heal something for Izzy, and hell). I can't wait for Ed to come back and see him. See him for who he is, a silly prick who is loyal to a fault, who is loved.

This is likely the happiest two episodes we'll get, and fuck, I loved them both SO MUCH. After a rewatch I'll write about the crew. Ed/Stede is actually working for me as we watch them both learn, and Fuck, Lucius/Pete...my darlings.

NOW FOR THE TEASER:

THE IDEA OF SEEING CON IN DRAG AGAIN MAKES ME SO HAPPY! Especially what it means for Izzy. Izzy lets his hair down and has fun with Wee John as he explores what actually makes him happy. Hell, him opening up to being a bit of a masochist as a joke while tied up is...actually my favorite thing (while obvious, given his propensity to put Ed before him in all matters, Izzy casually mentioning 'I like to be roughed a bit up' in front of the crew is the type of openness about himself that I crave). Izzy "cocksuckers" Hands letting himself joke about SEX-GAY SEX(probably)- Kill me now.

(To clarify: I don't think he or Ed ever got off to the abuse, hell, we see Ed flinch away when Anne/Mary do it. That's not the face of someone who knows what that's like as the Sadist).

I just love the way Izzy has so obviously relaxed into a person that he'd never let exist. Hell. I hope Izzy gets to rub this happier version of himself RIGHT in Edward's sad face. I need a 'he was never like this with me' moment of Ed watching Izzy SMILE to parallel Izzy's jealousy in S1.

Con obviously loves this character, you can see it in the performance. He fills the role perfectly, from his ups to his downs. Con smiles and hell, that's not Con, that's Izzy fucking Hands. Striding along proudly pretending his world isn't changing, because it is, and he is healing and I LOVE IT.

I am so proud of our growing Izzy loving community. For some, we've been through a lot of shit. Probably in life, and hell, maybe even in this fandom. Even if you haven't been harassed, you loved Izzy, you saw yourself in him, and I hope you felt the show giving us a big fucking hug.

We grow, we recover, and hell. We get a happy fucking ending (with a few yet-to-be-seen bumps in the road).

[goldensunset]

genuinely is there a writing reason for n to still dislike poke balls after bw1. like to him, they were a symbol of trainer's abuse towards their pokemon, but actually that's wrong and trainers get along very well with their pokemon so the poke balls shouldn't be a factor anymore right?? i think you said before too and i think the same thing, poke balls are just a safety mechanism so your 5 billion degree scorching hot magcargo isnt just wandering the streets melting the sidewalk

spinoffs might not be canon but there are regions where poke balls aren't used At All in the ranger series, and they're not inherently better or worse than mainline regions for it. cannot understand why he insists its all still going to be better if we Just get rid of poke balls

right like… i don’t fully get it. i mean i guess people might still have their opinions and preferences and it might just not Feel right to him, even if it isn’t like actually harmful. n doesn’t seem like he necessarily cares about human infrastructure he seems like he’d gladly let his magcargo torch the sidewalk and if you can’t accept it for what it is you shouldn’t be its partner but like lol idk

i guess like pla kinda touches on that too how some of the clan members thought of it as a disgrace to keep them contained but afterwards were like ‘i see. this is simply how you choose to relate to your pokémon’. like it’s just a matter of personal choice and relationships like there’s no one size fits all solution. they come to realize that

like i think of em kinda like dog leashes the dog obeys and could get off the leash or jump the fence etc if it really wanted to but it knows this makes its human feel safer and more secure

see like to oppose the use of pokéballs is not necessarily to say you think animals should run free and cause mayhem, but rather it could just be saying that it’s tragic that this is the current working relationship and that in an ideal world you’d be able to trust your dog to not maul another dog or tear up the sofa etc. sounds kinda like him saying ‘skill issue as a trainer. get better at getting them to love and trust and listen to you’. yeah look that’s easier for some people than others. easier for some species of pokémon than others. no matter how much your molten rock pokémon loves and trusts you it is still made of molten rock. do you want it to stop being made of molten rock

see like that mindset is kinda ironic to me bc i would argue that’s actually even more misguided and harmful in a way. to say that one day we’ll be able to overwrite a wild living being’s nature and get it to willingly behave for us? to force it into a certain box of behavior? or to say that we should let them do whatever they want and who cares about humans in this situation. neither extreme is ok

quite honestly the ideal world in which humans and pokémon coexist IS the one with pokéballs. where they consensually stay even if they’d rather be outside em because they love and trust their humans and value the relationship. social contract theory. we give up things we like for a greater good. dogs let themselves be domesticated they could kill us but they don’t bc we do nice things for them

tldr. i think n still has some learning to do about the world lol. well-meaning yet still ignorant in a way. also he has a massive advantage with his empath powers like dude check your privilege of course you can keep your nice tame baby mammal under control but what about the muk owners

[mueritos]

As someone who’s been through multiple therapists and psychs, you’re super not wrong about these people bringing their biases to the table. I’m lucky enough that I

1. Was an older teenager

2. Had friends who had had decent mental health help already

3. Already kinda suspected the shapes of what was “wrong with me” and

4. Had an innate sense of “no that seems like bullshit” before I went in with these people.

The first therapist I ever saw met me as a 17 year old alt girl, and when I tried to talk to her about thinking I had anxiety issues she cut me off before I was done explaining and told me I was self diagnosing, that was causing my problem, and we wouldn’t “entertain THAT” any further.

The second therapist I ever saw met me as a 18 year old trans guy, pre-everything, during the pandemic. She listened, but she had no experience with the trans community and I had to teach her everything about anything I wanted to talk about with regards to that. She was nice, but she couldn’t help me. She didn’t know how.

The third therapist I ever saw met me as a 21 year old young man. She figured I had everything sorted out already. I didn’t. She never tried to change her mind or delve deeper. At this point I couldn’t afford to waste my time, so I asked to be recommended to a psych and she said sure. After that we didn’t talk.

The first psych I went to was very kind, and absolutely did not do his due diligence. I came in with a shiny recommendation from a therapist (that he didn’t verify), so he all but handed me the medication with no explanation and I only ever spoke to him over the phone after that. It was a low barrier to entry but the medication wasn’t right and I didn’t know I had other options. He made it seem like I didn’t.

The psych I’m seeing now put me on a medication that reacted poorly with my inhaler because she didn’t cross check if they would be any drug interactions. I came back and asked for a different medication. She was going to put me on a different one, and then I asked her to check if there were any interactions with this one. Turns out there were severe ones. I ended up going with a different medication, it seems to be working. It would probably work better with help from a therapist, but I don’t have the time or money for that right now. And quite frankly I’m tired of trying to convince people to help me when I have to explain what I think is wrong with me for them to listen. Only for them to decide that I’ve already figured it all out and they don’t need to try.

So uh. Yeah. Lots and lots of stories from me and my friends about clinicians of all age and experience ranges that go from horror stories to just disappointing and unhelpful. Some of these people had been practicing for 20-30 years and they STILL weren’t any better at empathy or not being horribly biased.

first of all holy shit it really fucking sucks you had to go through all of these terrible experiences while accessing care you deserve and need. i'm not surprised these terrible interactions happened, and I can't even be disappointed considering the bar of standards is in hell. The "better" experiences a lot of folks have with clinicians align with your second therapist. They are clinicians who just genuinely have no worldview outside of their own, but are receptive to new information...they just have no drive to learn how to apply new frameworks of ways of thinking to expand their worldview and guide their clients. The worst is literal malpractice, ableism, and violence against clients.

a lot of people who go into the mental health field don't actually have the skills related to active listening, empathy, or curiosity based out of humanity. I say this to a lot of people in the social work program, but social work is the same pipeline as mean girls who go into nursing--it's just full of the girls who were not smart enough to go into nursing that decide to go into social work. Same breed of mean girl seeking power over others, just different contexts of public service.

the only hope i have is in the new generations of mental health clinicians who are BIPOC/queer, anti-carceral, disabled themselves, and who are mentally ill as well. I feel more solidarity with my neurodivergent peers in my program who can barely finish an assignment on time than I do with the white women who have never experience hardship in their lives. Not to say neither of these people can't experience easy or hard times in their lives but man....seeing the roadblocks in some of these people's worldviews, empathy, or conceptualizations of other people's struggles is fucked up.

the mental health field is just another medicalized, over-policed, and racist institution that wants to shove people back into the workforce ASAP. we are in hell!! but just know there ARE people and groups and orgs out there that are dedicated to radical work and will name all the hypocrisy, pain, and oppression that exists in working in this field.

thank you tho for sharing your experience and input. I can only hope that your experiences moving forward are positive and liberating for you <3

[kroosluvr]

sorry i feel bad for ranting on """Main"" i guess though i kinda keep this more of apersonal blog than a very polished art blog thing. under the cut

things wld be easier if i was just an oc-centric artist (which i kinda am but only to myself in my head) but it Is how it is at this point (i want to draw my ocs more but they never turn out the way i want) and theres just so much i want to draw for the silly little media franchises that happen to capture my stupid little heart and etc.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh ifeel stupid for loving too much or whatever. i dont want to throw a pity party over this either because in the end its just "who cares LOVE WHAT U LOVE DRAW WHAT U WANT" right but in the moment i feel stupid and it sucks and i hate it actually!!!!!!! and i WILL in fact keep drawing hwat i want and what makes me happy but like idkidkdidkgkhw

sometimes i cant help thinking if i was a better artist.,, like more artistically skilled........ would people really say the things they do about the things i draw

^ (Authors note: no one has been mean about the stuff i draw just. side comments i guess lol. from my friends though and not random people . so its harder to just brush off i guess)

like maybe im just not good enough yet. which is fine. spite is actually a really good drawing proponent. but its also just like . when will it be enough to be worth it? will it be worth being my friend now if im a good artist? if i draw what you want? ...........................

its obviously not discounting the people who really enjoy my art style adn what i draw regardless (which im soooo so grateful for bc i never like expect anyone to stick around sicne my fixations change like the wind) but its like... these r the people i spend the most time with . and it sucks. i have to. second guess what i say and what i type and just. ok like i know its not that serious either but i hate it i really dont like it (<- im also just socially anxious if u cant tell)

and its also like i cant just extract myself from my friend group for a while to kinda cool off (read: muster the courage to be an idiot in front of them again) bc ummmmm um i dont have many friends . they are kind of all i got. (which is nice i like small circles(?) im not good at opening up to people.) and i do admire and like them very much but then i just feel like i get bit in the ass all the time (This past month) with shit like this i guess

and honestly like. well half the reason i keep switching fixations is BECAUSE of stuff like this where i feel self conscious of """"Being obsessed"""" over One thing so much so i just immediately switch tracks so fast but its just a cycle (Which i dont see as a bad thing tbh? it keeps my art moving and things fresh so like.)

And honestly i dont really try to . be too vocal about. fandom? stuff? when im with my friends? unless they bring it up first? i got burnt so many times with my vtuber interests so like lol ive Learned. but maybe it slips out too much? bruh. my bad i guess

i have to stop thinking abt this man.., why has this happened to me so many times this past month lol its kind of ridiculous

(Im sure they dont like. mean it. right? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, if they actually meant it and want me to shut up then they should just actually say so right.,

i just want to draw . its not going to stop me from drawing but damn does it really like rain on my parade or put a dent in my fender or whatever other sayings that i cant think of right now

in the end i really REALLY appreciate frm the very very bottom of my heart everyone that even remotely likes/appreciates my art (especially the persona stuff nowadays bc thats what im mainly pouring all my mental and physical and emotional into) like i really really mean it. because this stuff like my silly comics and stuff is really stuff i make for purely my own heart and just what i want to see kinda. and so it just makes me feel really warm that people also want to see it and keep seeing it and love it and everything like that. and, with all this kind of negative stuff going on i just go back and reread tags and comments and stuff and i feel encouraged to keep going and draw more and everything like that. so like really, truly, thank you. i really never thought so many people would like the stuff i make. even if its not really artistically good, or really deeply interesting, im really happy it could be something special to people out there

[earthstellar]

love the canonical implication that Earthspark Bumblebee's current alt-mode is possibly just a mid life crisis sports car phase

I mean I'm in my 30s, I'm not shitting on him, it's relatable primarily because most of my friends are at least slightly younger than I am

the "Bee hanging out with the Terrans" vibe is very real

but I also like that we're seeing a slightly older version of Bee here. usually he's the youngest of the Autobots (in most TF shows, anyway), but here he's roughly equivalent to middle aged

The Terrans are the youngest, so we get to see a more mature Bee stepping up into a carer/educator role

Bee has never really been one of my favourite TF characters (which I mostly attribute to burn out caused by all the marketing which solely fixates on him lmao), but I like him in Earthspark for the most part!

He's still a little on the "still learning" side of things coming into his current role, but that's what allows for further character development, and we've already seen him build some good skills for dealing with/training the kiddo bots

IDK it's nice.

would be interesting if there's ever an episode where Alex and Dot are unavailable for a not-necessarily-bad reason (maybe one of them is accepting a professional award or something so both of them go together as a Nice Thing)

and suddenly Bumblebee is Parent of Many Sparklings (Plus Two Human Ones) for the weekend LMAO

how long until he gives in and calls someone for help? because that is a LOT of children

eventually he calls everyone but they're all busy, Arcee just laughs at him lol she's having Fun Battle Time with Elita-1 so neither of them can do it, finally Megatron shows up and instantly all the kids are like "yeah STORY TIME" and Bee gets a 10 min nap in until a perimeter alarm goes off or something (it was just a cow but now he is Stressed)

Optimus gradually shows up like ha ha! outdoors enrichment for the children is a great idea and Bee is just like "have you ever actually raised sparklings, you had troops but you don't have SPARKLINGS"

meanwhile in the background Hashtag is trying to explain the differences between various social media sites to Megatron, who is trying so hard to pretend like he cares, but is also busy trying to keep at least two of the others from putting their hands a little too deep in his transformation seams so they can climb on him (they just want to be Large)

idk I think a Single Parent Bee episode feat. Grandpa Megatron towards the end at one point would be fun, arguably they did this kind of vibe in the first half of S1 a bit already

but it would be interesting to see how Bumblebee would manage without any other adults for support for like a weekend in its entirety (save for maybe Megs at the end taking pity on him lmao)

there aren't many bots in what seems to be Bumblebee's general age range, except maybe Arcee but she gives the vibe of being a little older than he is, so real talk he'd probably feel a little more isolated and overtaxed than usual :(

but the kiddos would likely pick up on this and they could plot with Megs to try to do something nice for him!!! it would go poorly but that's OK!!!!

just thinkin' out loud