#you may read this and ask yourself 'hey is op okay?'

[lesbiancosmicowl]

the after-sex couch scene has been sort of very quietly eating away at me. it just... it starts out sweet, domestic, it feels right. theyre both blissed out, with their messy hair and blushed cheeks and affection. but theyre sitting so far apart, no point of contact, already theres distance between them. and after months of pining, shouldnt they be in each other's arms, all hugs and warmth and please dont let me go, please dont go again? and the thing is, this whole scene is all about Truths. 'how wonderful it is being here with you'. 'yes it really is my first time w a woman'. 'im an open book (read me! read me!!!)'. 'telling the truth gets me in trouble'. 'i like when u tell me the truth'. 'hey, maybe i have fancied a girl before'. but then! but then there's the Other Truths, the truths that mirror their relationship, predict the outcome of things. lisa's doubts at anything carla says ('idk why would anyone?' 'oh right, i very much doubt that'). 'ill use your description of me on my dating profile'. 'she treated me like dirt and i still liked her'. 'loving someone like you is too much trouble for someone like me'. and the whole conversation is just masked by this feeling of elatedness, of satisfaction, of this finally happened, im finally here, with you, really with you, with you the way ive been wanting to be with you for months. but when you start listening, actually listening to their admissions and you see past the haze of contentedness, all youre left with is this has an expiration date, one of us will walk away again, youre gonna treat me like dirt and im gonna crawl back to you, we're gonna be over before we even begin. and then the first one to break out of that bubble, to stand up and leave is obviously lisa. and then she gets betsys text and she knows its over. and yes, for lisa this is dead, but carla? carla still hopes despite the truth being there all along. it's too much like hard work.

[siilvan]

bloodsport – IV

prologue | one | two | three | next

characters: vladimir makarov

summary: your first time back in the field is a whirlwind of emotions, especially after being forced to rely on yet another enemy. new information is revealed, and you realize that a drastic action may be the only way to fix this mess.

genre: angst, slowburn, enemies to ?, fem!reader (callsign: petra)

warnings: semi-proofread, cursing, canon-typical violence, descriptions of blood/injuries, poorly written spec-ops, allusions to trauma and stress, reader has a bit of a breakdown, graves lol

word count: 6k

note: giving a quick PSA here— please be mindful about what y'all write. i know this fic is about a very controversial and problematic character, but i try to be mindful about how i portray him and his actions. don't romanticize things that should not be romanticized, and be respectful to people. COD as a whole is problematic, but that doesn't mean we need to be a shitty community. support real victims, don't spread hate. easy peasy.

also, yes, i changed my formatting. the little text is too hard to read without my glasses, so... yeah. hope it's not ugly now :)

you spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, trying but failing to will yourself to fall asleep. soap texts you shortly before the sun comes up - a picture of himself and the rest of the team, posing for the camera. they're covered in dirt and ash, exhaustion apparent in their eyes, but the image is enough to make you crack a smile.

you give them a few hours, pulling yourself out of bed after sunrise and occupying yourself with mundane tasks around the house, before picking up the phone and calling price.

"hey, captain. sorry for calling so early." you chuckle, leaning against the arm of the couch.

"don't worry about it," price clears his throat, hoarse from fatigue, and you wonder for a second if he was asleep before you called. "was just finishing some paperwork. what d'you need?"

a low sigh escapes from you. "i know it's only been a day, but... can i come back? i really want to get back to work."

you can hear papers shuffling from his end. "i know you want to work, but we just can't take the risk—"

"there isn't going to be any risk," you assert, raising your voice slightly and interrupting him. you pause and wet your lips, speaking in a softer tone again. "please, captain, i know i can handle it. i just want to get back to normal already."

the line is quiet for a long moment, with price silently deliberating over your request. you shift nervously, gripping the phone tighter as you wait impatiently for a response.

finally, after you shift for the umpteenth time, he exhales deeply.

"i'll see if i can convince laswell, okay?" he concedes. you can hear his chair creaking as he leans back - you're assuming, at least. "pack your bags. i'll send a transport helicopter in an hour."

⋆⋆⋆

that's how you ended up at base again, with the team welcoming you back with open arms. laswell initially rejected the idea, stating the same concerns as before, but price managed to sway her after some discussion.

so, now you're in a meeting room, gathered around a table with lists, blueprints, names, pictures— any and all of the intel that the task force has gotten their hands on, scattered across the surface. you blink when price raps his knuckles against the tabletop, drawing your attention.

it's laswell who talks, shooting a glance around the table to address the group. "as you're all aware, shadow company has been a target of the konni group in recent times," she starts, sending you a cursory look, asking you for confirmation. you nod, and she continues. "not only have they been fighting the group head-on in al-mazrah, but there's been several incidents with undercover konni operatives in their ranks."

"good, let 'em fuckin' deal with it." soap remarks, earning noises of agreement from gaz, ghost, and yourself. price and laswell aren't as entertained by it.

"general shepherd, commander graves, and their men betrayed us." laswell pauses before letting out a heavy sigh. "i know none of you were happy about the ceasefire, and i know that you were furious when graves resurfaced. but, besides farah's forces, shadow company is our strongest ally."

"—and the only one capable of making any strong moves without risking an all-out war." price adds, shaking his head. everyone's displeased with the situation, that much is obvious.

"where are you goin' with this?" ghost asks. a tense silence fills the room for a long moment, making you shift awkwardly.

laswell motions towards the door on the far side of the room with her head. you cast your gaze in the same direction, watching as the door is pushed open.

as if on cue, the very man that should've been buried in flames in las almas walks into the room. the shadow himself. philip graves.

"oh, fuck off." soap growls at the man, looking ready to lunge at him from across the table. ghost steps forward and, if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was reaching for his sidearm. gaz and price are eerily quiet while glaring daggers at him, and you immediately feel the blood rush to your ears as every nerve commands you to shoot him yourself.

"i know this isn't ideal," laswell attempts to placate all of you, though the cold stare she regards him with betrays her calm demeanor. "but, for now, we're allies. we have a bigger threat to worry about."

"yeah, those konni guys are, uh..." graves perks up, languidly sauntering up to the table. he purses his lips for a second, thinking, before clicking his tongue. "real troublesome. i've lost a lot of good men thanks to them."

"good." ghost mutters, straightening himself next to soap.

price cuts through the tension with a wave of his hand. "alright, none of us want this, but we've got no other options." he grumbles. "konni's moving towards urzikstan. if we want to stop 'em, then we need to cooperate."

you eye graves from your peripherals, recalling the information that makarov gave you a couple weeks ago. graves isn't in on shepherd's plan, but he's likely the only person who knows the general's whereabouts. you need to say something while you still can. how will he take the news, though? he's betrayed you before, he'll do it again if it benefits him.

"petra, you listening?" laswell's voice abruptly interrupts your thoughts. you divert your attention back to her and notice that everyone's focus is on you.

"i have something i need to say," you blurt out. you need to bring up the general before he potentially ropes graves in.

you receive a collection of interested stares, urging you to go on.

"when i was captured, i managed to get some information," you drop your gaze, narrowing your eyes at the documents laid out. "we're not just fighting konni and al-qatala. some of the forces occupying al-mazrah are under shepherd's command."

the silence that falls over the room is almost deafening. the group balks at you with shock and confusion written on their expressions, until graves huffs out a laugh.

"general shepherd's 'forces' are my men. i can assure you, petra, that none of my shadows are workin' with konni." he says with a lopsided smile, confident as ever.

you turn to face graves fully, grimacing. "i'm not talking about your shadows. shepherd has another group under his command."

"what group?" price asks.

"cia operatives. ex-soldiers, specifically." you turn back, eyes flitting between price and laswell. "he's sending men undercover. the unmarked mercenaries that we keep encountering? that's them."

laswell shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. "where did you get this information?"

you freeze. your mouth opens to say makarov's name, but for some reason, you hesitate. with a deep inhale, you blink away the odd feeling and force the words past your lips.

"makarov. i'm not sure why, but he told me about it."

yet another unbearable tension befalls the group; you're getting close to ripping your hair out over it. as if reading your thoughts, gaz speaks up.

"you know about this?" he says, directed at graves. he's tight-lipped, glowering at him.

graves doesn't respond, letting the question hang in the air. he looks just as surprised as the rest of you - makarov was telling the truth, then. shadow company isn't in on the plan. shepherd has effectively betrayed his strongest ally, to your knowledge.

"i'm sure there's an explanation," graves utters, chuckling to himself. "war's a dirty business. there's good reason to send men undercover."

"he's got part of the special activities division in his pocket." laswell says.

"isn't that where you pulled alex from?" price hums, earning a nod in reply. it's a bad situation, to say the least.

you regain everyone's attention and continue. "i don't know the full plan, but makarov suspected that shepherd's doing this to put himself back on top. start a war, get himself marked as a hero, reap the rewards."

graves raises a brow at you, amusement written on his face. "and, we should trust the judgement of a terrorist?" he says while searching the room for support.

price keeps his gaze on you, though the distant look in his eye tells you that his mind is elsewhere. "i'd trust this one's judgement." he mutters, jaw clenching.

"well, there's no point in standin' around, is there?" graves seems to bounce back quickly, shrugging off the news. "we've got a job to do and a terrorist to catch. let's focus on that."

"i'll contact farah and see if alex knows anything about the men under shepherd's command." laswell says as you all break away from the table and start to file out of the room.

"keep us updated," price nods to her before turning to the rest of you. "wheels up in thirty. we'll debrief on the way."

you breathe out a relieved sigh once everyone breaks off, heading off to finish any last minute preparations before takeoff. you linger in the corridor, running a hand down your face and groaning into the palm of your hand. of course, you have no choice but to work with an enemy whilst relying on intel from yet another. at least you can be open with your team about this one.

shepherd and makarov are your targets. graves comes after. take down all three, and your headaches are gone. no more doubting yourself, no more questions, no more nights spent looking at lists of crimes that make you feel sick. you can resume your not-so-peaceful life with the rest of the task force and celebrate the world being a somewhat safer place.

your phone buzzes in your pocket, distracting you from your pondering and pulling you back to the present. you frown at the name on the caller id.

it's a single letter: 'v.'

after your conversation - if you can even call it that - with makarov last night, you saved his number. putting his name in your phone is basically shooting yourself in the foot, so you saved it under a name that gives you deniability in the event someone sees it.

you duck into an empty rec room nearby and accept the call, keeping an eye on the door as you lift the phone to your ear.

"you actually picked up the phone this time." makarov remarks upon you answering. your frown deepens, brows furrowing.

"if you don't have anything important to say, i'm hanging up."

he chuckles, far too casual for your liking. "i have an update. something that i'm sure you'll be interested in."

you shift, leaning against the back of one of the couches. "what is it?"

"in case you're planning to return to al-mazrah, just know that shepherd's men have been given strict orders to target and eliminate members of the one-four-one."

a chill creeps up the back of your spine. it's an unsurprising order, but you still rack your brain as to why he gave it. does shepherd somehow know that you know about his plans? it shouldn't be possible— until the meeting that finished just minutes ago, the only people privy to the knowledge were makarov and yourself.

of course, shepherd's allies are aware of it, but the only ally of his that you've contacted is graves. you doubt that he's talked to the general in the short amount of time since, which eliminates graves as a possibility just as quickly as you suspected him.

there has to be another source. someone feeding him information, keeping the one-four-one under watch.

"shepherd's got a mole in our group." you reply, pinching the bridge of your nose. "fucking hell. he knows that we're onto him."

"'we,' lieutenant?" he comments with an amused lilt in his tone.

"my team, asshole. he's got men undercover in your group and in my squad. he's watching all of his enemies."

makarov hums, voice dropping a little. "you have a keen eye, petra. have you asked the shadow about shepherd's whereabouts, yet?" he asks, brushing past your frustration.

"haven't had the chance," you mutter. "based on his reaction to the news, i doubt he'll give it away, though. we might have to get the location ourselves."

he exhales, audible through the phone. "it would be more convenient if you could convince him to tell you."

you roll your eyes. "yeah, of course it would. just don't expect any miracles. aren't you the one with all the mysterious ways of gathering information, anyway?" you grumble sarcastically and move away from the couch, starting to pace around the room while keeping your gaze on the door.

"i can get his location if necessary, but that would eliminate your usefulness in this operation, wouldn't it?"

he's right, and you hate him for it. "you still need me to kill him." you counter bluntly.

"i can do that, too. your team wants revenge for his betrayal. this is me being charitable - don't disappoint."

makarov ends the call before you have the chance to argue, leaving you to huff to yourself in the empty room. a moment later, a head pokes around the doorway, startling you and nearly making you drop your phone when you jump.

gaz is regarding you with a sly grin as he fully reveals himself and steps into the room. your palms immediately moisten with sweat as worry floods your mind - how much did he just hear?

"so, who you talkin' to?" gaz cocks his head to the side, teasing. he's relaxed, standing in front of you with his hands shoved in his pockets.

you pocket your phone and flash a calm smile. "that depends. you have any guesses?"

he chuckles, lifting one of his hands to playfully stroke at his chin as he thinks. "let's see... i know you weren't home for long, but—" his grin morphs into a lopsided smirk as he eyes you suspiciously. "y'got a boyfriend?"

dear god, no.

you resist the urge to gag at the thought and shake your head. "nope, it's just a... friend of mine."

gaz leans forward, an inquisitive 'ah' tumbling from his lips. "a friend, eh? they got a name?" he asks.

"he, uh... just goes by 'v.'"

"'v?' like the letter?"

you answer with an affirmative "mhm," patting gaz on the shoulder as you brush past him. "it's a nickname i gave him. don't worry about it."

gaz groans in exasperation as you stroll towards the door, trying to ignore the way your heart races. lying is a normal part of the job, but lying to your team? generally not recommended.

"most 'just friends' don't have exclusive nicknames, you know!" gaz calls out from behind as you round the corner and start down the hall, leaving him alone.

a sick part of you finds the sentiment - makarov, being anything more than an enemy - entertaining, but your better judgement steers you back on track. you've got a mission to prepare for, and the likelihood of something going wrong is as high as ever. you need to focus on the mission and getting graves to give up shepherd.

⋆⋆⋆

shadow company's gunship is a familiar sight as you climb aboard, slipping past the groups of shadows and finding your teammates gathered around what you can only describe as the command center. graves is standing close by, though the tension is palpable as you approach.

after the aircraft lifts off is when graves talks, addressing the soldiers lining the seats of the craft.

"alright, now i know we've had our problems in the past," he starts, briefly acknowledging your group before turning back to his men. "however, none of that matters right now. the one-four-one is our ally on this mission; treat 'em like your own. copy that, shadows?"

johnny snorts from next to you. "where have we heard this before?" he mumbles.

there's a resounding "yep-yep" from his men, accompanied by several nods and looks in your direction. graves pats one of the soldiers on the shoulder and looks to price.

"think you can lay out the rest, captain."

price starts down the middle row, his voice booming even over the sounds of people checking their weapons, gear, and anxiously shifting in their seats. he moves slowly, practically stalking down the length of the gunship.

"the mission is simple: konni and al-qatala have set up bases across the city. they're using gas, heavy artillery, and stolen weapons to protect themselves." price stops for a moment and lets his gaze drag over the soldiers staring back at him. "i don't think i need to remind you shadows of what konni's done to your brothers in arms. we're going to break off into strike teams - eight men - and destroy these bases. alpha team will take the nerve center in the heart of the city. you already know your assignments."

graves speaks again once price goes quiet. "the commanders are not likely going to be in any of these field bases. but, if they are, then each and every single one of you has execute authority." he announces. "first man to bag an HVT gets a reward." he adds with a smirk, earning light laughter from several of his men.

when the speeches conclude, you settle back in your seat.

alpha team includes yourself, price, graves, and five of the shadows that graves handpicked. ghost, soap, and gaz are leading the bravo team, charged with the largest and best-guarded of the field bases. the commanding chain within shadow company are leading the other groups tasked with the bases scattered around the city.

you fish your phone out of one of your vest pockets when it buzzes, reading the notification on the screen.

there's an agent in your group 11:06 am

not a shadow. special forces. 11:06 am

you frown, angling the screen back and quickly scanning the group. everyone seems to be engrossed in conversation, giving you a chance to respond.

do you have a name? 11:07 am

not yet. he's a rookie. 11:07 am

he's stationed at the base you're staying at 11:07 am

check the files. should have transferred recently. 11:08 am

thank you. 11:08 am

don't mention it. 11:09 am

you're quick to tuck your phone away again, jolting when gaz suddenly addresses you.

"texting your boyfriend, eh?" he laughs, catching everyone's attention.

soap snorts and turns to you. "since when did you start dating?"

you wave them off, sitting up again as all eyes fall on you - even ghost, who is usually horribly uninterested in gossip.

"what are you two, schoolchildren?" you ask, earning playful noises of offense. "he's just a friend. not even a close one."

you're getting yourself caught up in a lie. a shitty one, at that. all it's doing is making people more interested in who you're talking to. at this rate, you'll get caught by the end of the day.

"bullshit— no one in this job talks to a person this much if they're not special." gaz counters, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

price chuckles. "c'mon, gaz. come off it," he lightly scolds the sergeant before looking at you. "just make sure he treats you nice, yeah?" he adds, both teasing and sincere at the same time.

"he's not my— yeah, okay. i'll remember that." you concede, slumping back in your seat.

the topic is dropped not long after, leaving you to relax as people talk around you. after a couple minutes, you can feel your eyelids start to droop, reminding you of how restless last night was. the trip's going to take a while, you might as well get some sleep while you still can.

⋆⋆⋆

everything is so hot. the sun, the ground, your clothes, the air— you.

you don't have any protective gear on, your sidearm secured in your loose grip as you stumble through the ruins where a city once stood.

that's right, you think. the city was destroyed in all the fighting. reduced to nothing more than rubble. you remember when there used to be buildings here; half-toppled and abandoned, but they stood as evidence of life nonetheless.

you falter, landing on your knee and hissing as it hits the solid ground below you. your vision starts to blur as your eyes water, forcing you to rub at them with your free hand in a desperate attempt to clear them.

when you blink rapidly, trying to force back the disorientation and bleariness, you notice a figure directly ahead of you.

an ally. a friend. someone that can help.

you force yourself to your feet and stagger towards them, sucking in a hopeful breath when they start to rush to meet you. the harsh sun— fuck, it's so hot— makes you squint, preventing you from making out a face until they're already pulling you into their embrace, strong arms holding you close to their chest.

"it's okay." their voice— his voice, reassures you softly, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of your head, cradling you impossibly closer. "i took care of it, my dear. you're safe now."

hot tears streak down your cheeks, dirty with sand, dust, and ash, as you wrap your arms around his middle. you try to speak, but all that comes out is a hiccup and a pathetic sob, so you resolve to burying your face in his shoulder to muffle your cries.

you're tired. exhausted, actually. for once in this career, you want to be selfish. you want to be the protected one. fighting, losing allies, killing— it never ends.

he shushes you, but even in your state, you can tell the action is unnatural. gentleness, empathy, tender care... it isn't who he is.

you manage to lift your head enough to look at him, eyes glassy with tears.

makarov stares back at you, his callous gaze betraying the way he holds you. it makes you pause, confused, as you slowly recall why you're even here.

you were fighting konni operatives. there was a missile— no, something bigger. something that decimated the city and would have taken you along with it, had you not ducked into a shelter at the very last second. when you emerged, shaken and dazed in the aftershock, you encountered al-qatala and konni mercenaries alike.

bodies scattered in the streets, men wheezing for air despite blood displacing the oxygen in their lungs and leaking from every orifice, some still trying to fight even as they collapse in heaps of pure agony, writhing on the ground alongside their brothers in arms.

you wince when his fingers trace along the edge of your jaw, his forefinger hooking under your chin and forcing you to look into his eyes after your gaze drifts away.

"their lives mean nothing," makarov whispers, barely audible over the sound of your heart pounding against your ribcage. "not compared to you. you're better, stronger, than them. you will serve me well. you will help me usher in a new age."

he runs the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip, slightly chapped from the dry heat. on instinct, you part your lips, and he moves his hand to cup your face before leaning in to capture your lips in a searing kiss.

it's wrong. this is wrong.

you shouldn't be here. you shouldn't be doing this.

the kiss is a distraction, keeping you occupied as his other hand falls from its spot on your hip. you don't even notice the change until a gunshot rings out, and pain equally as burning as the kiss courses through your veins.

you can't even muster a proper cry as you pull back, one of your own hands flying to the epicenter of the pain, right in the middle of your stomach. your fingers brush against the spot, and you whimper when you lift them back up to your face. dark red stains your skin, dripping down your wrist.

"i just need to fix you first. under my guidance... you will be perfect, my dear." makarov mutters, catching you and holding you up when you crumple against him. he coos at you, sympathetic yet mocking, as he scoops you up in his arms, the world around you going dark.

⋆⋆⋆

you wake up with a start, shifting to the edge of your seat as you frantically rub at your eyes. there's an ache deep in the pit of your stomach, making you press your palm against the same spot as your dream.

this time, when you look down at your hand, you see nothing. a shaky sigh escapes from you at the sight - or, rather, the lack thereof.

"y'all right?" ghost asks, eyeing you from the seat across from you.

"yeah, yeah—" you respond, shaking off the lingering effects of the dream. "we almost there?"

price comes over, having been talking with graves some feet away, and pats your shoulder in acknowledgement. "about to touch down, actually. let's go."

you disembark alongside the rest of alpha team, taking up formation with price and graves, with the few shadow company operatives behind the three of you. reaching the building isn't a difficult task despite the many mercenaries standing between it and your team; as much as you hate to admit it, the shadows are skilled in the field, even with their misgivings.

the building is another high rise, like the one you infiltrated weeks ago, half-crumpled from the effects of the fighting in the city. price leads the group as you all enter it through a sizeable hole in the wall, clearing out the first floor with trained precision.

the group of shadows form a perimeter just outside as you investigate the interior with price and graves, finding it... empty?

"thought you said this was the nerve center," you mutter, turning to the men as they search around, equally as perplexed as you. "there's nothing here."

price shakes his head, standing up from where he was crouched over some rubble. "there was something here. they must've moved."

"they knew we were comin'." graves says with a frustrated huff. "probably just protecting it to keep up the charade. the real control center could be anywhere in the city."

the two start for the exit with you in tow. "could be outside of it for all we know. we need to contact the other squads." price replies before pausing at the threshold and angling his head upwards. you stop several feet back and send him a confused look, before a low rumbling echoes throughout the building, sending dust and small debris falling from the floors above.

the rumbling stops for a second, until a louder, harsher one follows. larger pieces of wreckage start to loosen and threaten to fall, small bits clattering against the ground.

"shit, the building's too unstable— it's gonna collapse—!" price shouts as a metal beam crashes into the ground less than twenty feet away from you.

while price and graves are able to duck out amidst the falling debris, you're forced to dive backwards after a piece of the floor above falls right into your path. you search for a way around it, but as the violent shaking increases and sends more collapsing down all around you, you realize that cover might be your only option.

you scan the room quickly and dive under a pile of slabs and beams, sturdy enough to not collapse under the weight of falling wreckage, but with just enough room for you to squeeze in underneath.

it's only seconds after you find cover that the thundering sounds of heavy rubble crashing down all around you fills your ears, forcing you to cover them with your hands as each crash makes you flinch.

the worst of the destruction is short-lived. a couple minutes pass by before you're willing to move, the occasional piece of the upper floors still collapsing around you every now and then. you let out a trembling breath once you emerge, pure adrenaline coursing through your veins.

the exit. you hastily search for it, but all hope drains from you when you find it and see that it's completely blocked by the wreckage.

"petra? can you hear me?" price's voice crackles through your radio.

you go to respond, coughing harshly due to all the dirt and dust floating in the air. "i hear you— i'm all right," you tear your eyes from the exit and look for another path. it's a big building, surely you can find something. "just stuck in here." you grumble into the radio.

"we're gonna try to find another way in, see if you can meet us somewhere." he says. you can hear graves barking orders at his men in the background. "be careful." price adds in a rushed tone.

you drop your hand from your radio and clutch your gun close as you carefully traverse the field of debris, mentally thanking whatever higher power that the building only partially collapsed on top of you, instead of crushing you completely.

every movement out the corner of your eyes makes you stop and aim your weapon at it; it's highly unlikely - but not impossible - that you're not alone. anyone could've snuck in after the collapse, or hidden themselves like you did. al-qatala, konni, shepherd's men— you have a lot of enemies and very few allies in the area.

you spin around at the sound of something shifting, but only see a few pieces of wood hitting the ground. you're getting too paranoid. you try to steel yourself, breathing deeply, before a smooth voice makes you choke on the air that gets caught in your throat.

"you are very unlucky, aren't you?"

you turn again, gun drawn and finger on the trigger, but stop short upon seeing a friendly...

well, you see makarov standing across the room. it's an enemy that doesn't seem all-too interested in killing you - for now, at least.

"how did you..." you trail off, lowering your weapon.

apparently understanding your question, he vaguely motions behind himself. "there's a breach." he says, glancing over the destruction as he approaches you.

you squint at him as he draws closer, briefly tightening your grip on your gun. he stops several feet away, though, so you allow yourself to relax just a bit, lowering your weapon.

"i figured you'd be staying far away from al-mazrah, it's an active war zone after all." you comment, earning a dismissive look.

"i don't mind getting my hands dirty," makarov utters with a lofty grin tugging at his lips. "besides, we need to talk."

you cock your head to the side, curious. "and, you couldn't call or text me about this? that's been working out so far." you chuckle softly.

he steps closer again, standing a little over an arm's length away. "i happened to be close by." he responds. "this is also something better discussed in person."

you nod, hesitantly slinging your gun over your shoulder to cross your arms over your chest.

"after our last exchange, i managed to gather more information from my... source." he punctuates the last word with a half-assed attempt at a conciliatory smile. "the mole planted within your group reported to shepherd recently; he's aware of our communication." he continues, before you interrupt him.

"wait, no one knows about this, not even my squad." you assert, taking another step closer to him. you're just under an arm's length away, now.

"there was an agent within the group assigned to your care when you were captured. one of the two men that accompanied us on the first day - he listened in on our conversation and delivered the details to the general." makarov speaks in a hushed tone, one you can just barely hear over rubble crumbling somewhere nearby. "the agent on your end tracked you after you reunited with your squad. something of yours was bugged, they heard us that night."

how could he... most of your belongings were clothes, which you know for certain weren't bugged. the only other item that traveled home with you is your cellphone—

"shit," you mumble, practically tearing your vest pocket open and grabbing your phone. there's nothing obviously wrong with it at first glance, but once you pop the case off and check inside, your suspicions are confirmed.

there's a small tracking device flashing red at you, mocking you, and you rip it out before tossing it on the ground and stomping on it.

"he's heard everything," you say, twisting your boot to scatter the broken pieces. "fuck, if this gets out— i can explain this to my team and make do with the judgement, but if shepherd tells any of his friends in their cushy government positions, i'm dead."

makarov shifts, looking past you, but you don't even notice the action thanks to the adrenaline reflooding your system. "that would be an issue," he mutters, reaching for the holster at his hip. "i suppose i could protect you."

you snort, dragging your gaze from your boot to his face. "i'm not joining your side, even for this."

a thin string of red light shines from the darkness behind you, aimed at the back of your skull. makarov follows it to its source, all but ignoring your rejection, as his fingers wrap around the handle of his desert eagle.

a loud gunshot rings out, echoing against the walls. you instinctively reach for your stomach, preparing yourself for the pain you felt in that dream, body tensing up as it flies into survival mode.

the pain never comes. a heavy thump makes you turn, however, watching as a soldier collapses to the ground. unmarked uniform. one of the general’s men.

"shepherd has not earned your blood. if anyone is going to kill you, it will be me." makarov lowers his gun and meets your muddled gaze. "i suggest you reconsider my offer, petra, and give me a call when you make up your mind."

you’re left in that state as he sidesteps and saunters past you, seemingly disappearing into the darkness himself. you’re sure there’s another exit that you missed, one he’s taking to avoid running into your squad.

his offer. joining him for protection.

you'll never follow makarov or his ideals, much less join him for such a selfish reason. if you can kill shepherd, then you can destroy any evidence and get yourself out of this mess. with graves' cooperation and your team to help, that possibility is well within your reach. the only crime you'll have to answer for is severely disappointing your teammates, but they'll understand.

except, there's no guarantee that graves will help, and the rules of engagement prevent you from taking effective action against shepherd. he may be on the run, but he's an american general - killing him could land the one-four-one in hot water with the government.

that'll only lead to more restrictions, more eyes on you, more questions— there's nothing you can do to stop it.

you need someone without limits. someone the government doesn't have their hands on.

you need makarov.

a series of heavy footsteps alert you to a new presence, snapping you out of your trance. you lift your head in time to see price, graves, and the shadows appear from around a large pile of debris in the same direction that makarov originally approached you from.

"petra!" price calls out, jogging ahead of the group and stopping just in front of you. "you broken?" he asks, placing a firm hand on your shoulder and dragging his gaze across your form, searching for any injuries.

"no, i'm fine. nothing major." you mumble, struggling to find your voice all of a sudden. "just, uh..." you lose it again, your tongue darting out to nervously wet your dry lips.

"something wrong?" he murmurs, quiet enough that graves and his men can't hear from their positions farther away.

you can feel every beat of your heart, rapidly thumping against your ribs to the point of making your chest ache. only price can give you approval to do something so risky, so stupid. he'll understand. he knows the job isn't perfect, but you do what you have to do—

"i have something to confess, captain."

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⋆ feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist! (18+ only please <3)

[yandere-sins]

Good Afternoon! If seen your spiels and tales for a while now and may I just say I adore it all, you’re quite talented in your work and you should be proud of yourself! I aspire to write as well and I’m wondering if you have some tips for the long run?

Hey!

Here are my latest posts with links to the ones where I actually went a bit more into details about what I recommend doing.

For the blog

For writing

Honestly, not much has changed, at least for me. It would be interesting to find out whether the tagging rules truly are still the same from the past but from recent experience I can tell you that posting regularly is the key to building a following. But at the same time I know now, more than ever, it's just not doable under normal life circumstances unless you find a rhythm to write and use the queue to schedule your posts.

If you want to write yandere stories specifically, personally, for me it's very important to be balanced. Like a super strong yandere is always cool, but it's cooler if they are so delusional that they will end up hurting their darling with their strength. Or a manipulative yandere is fun and tricky, but if it turns out they are deadly afraid of being left alone and are a bit pathetic about it, that's yummy! Also, depending on the darling, the yan's personality might change as well. I guess what I want to say, balance out the parts of the story to keep it more "realistic" and less Mary-Sue-Behavior. Not always possible or necessary because an OP yan has its benefits in certain situations, but it makes for a good story if there are some flaws in everything.

Also use the tropes. As harsh as it is, no idea of yours will ever be completely original. But I love retellings of ideas! And so do others! I don't care how many more times I read the same "chased by a monster only to be pinned down to the dirty ground" I will literally inhale these stories!!!! I love them!!! And you will put new words and new spins to it, so it will never feel dull!! So yeah, absolutely nothing wrong to lean into tropes and cliches. It might even be very beneficial for bringing your writing closer to people.

For warnings, I'd say, depending on if you do requests or your own work, always warn everything you find problematic in your own works before the story starts and add warnings if someone asks for them. For request, do the same if you derail from the original request too much to not warn (like, have sexual acts/gore/etc. suddenly even though it wasn't specifically requested). I'm not a fan of warning if the request is very clearly what the story will be, but do as you are comfortable. It's your blog. In the end, no one can tell you what to do, but of course don't be mean about it.

Doing requests is fine, but doing your own ideas is also fine. Of course, starting out with only your original ideas can be hard if you don't have a community built already, but you can always mix fanworks with OG writing. I know it's tempting to say "others do it too and they manage to just write their own things" or "I don't want to write for fandoms" but it will be very hard if you do. It's just the truth, tumblr isn't for original content in writing, it has always been for fandoms and blogging and art. It got better over the years but it still is.

Following up with this is: don't compare yourself to other writers/artists on here please, honestly, if you keep finding yourself discouraged by how much more likes and interactions they get, you should unfollow them. It's harsh. I love the stories and the writers of some blogs here, but I had to prioritize myself. Sometimes I sneak back to check out what I missed, but it will still get whiplash and compare myself.

In the same notion: If someone is mean or an idiot in your asks just block them and move on. Drama can entice people to interact with you, but it's not the kind of interactions you want constantly. And it honestly ruins you vibes if your blog becomes dramacentral. It's okay to speak out sometimes and make it clear that you don't want certain kinds of interactions, but feeding the trolls will only end in more and more and soon you feel bad and your followers feel bad, while the trolls are thriving. 9/10 cases it's just not worth it. Block and if it was a crossed boundary, let your people know afterwards unrelated to an ask.

And most importantly: pease just have fun. Put your ideas out there for the sole reason that no one will ever put them into your words the way you would. Of course it's impossible to ignore likes and interactions because it really does fuel the motivation. But I wish you two that you can create because it makes you happy. The rest will follow.

[annellspethraven]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sloan Spencer (@sloan_spencer_author)

It all started here. I woke up and looked at 'my' Discord server for the bloated tic of a fanfic (hey that rhymes, neurospicy two seconds!) I write with my partner SonaBeanSidhe, Aran Thranduil's Dining Hall. There hadn't been enough tea yet so the natural response was 'wth is this?' Well, THIS was going to Hoover my next two days and counting. Just visit the post, dear friends of the writing persuasion and you would see (I'll save you time because I'm nice this way) that there are many screenshots supporting just what the meme says: This Instagram OP knows a writer who found herself in a steaming pile of mess with the Google Docs TOS (which is really also the Google Drive TOS, making it somewhat difficult to locate said TOS. I'll save you more time. Here:

This information comes from https://support.google.com/docs/answer/148505#zippy=%2Csexually-explicit-material So, it was the act of sharing the files, not having created or stored them that triggered what had happened. Okay, still not reassuring. In the meantime, I was concerned enough to post what had happened to r/FanFiction. Within minutes, my post had been frozen by the mods there. I can see their concern. I believe they had only seen the meme-like first screen of the Instagram post, and it does come off like a bad Snopes Fail. They asked me for more proof. The first thing I did was a search for previous instances of Google having frozen Drive accounts previously. They are limited, but they exist. The concern here had to do with the current lack of information as to why the action happened, and whether we who collectively authored and had shared Docs with explicit content were about to have our Drive accounts fall before the scythe of an overzealous AI rollout on the part of Google. Which led to the second part of this. My first response to the mods was as follows:

A little while after I sent this, an update appeared on the Instagram OP's account (easy to find) so I added this:

The salient point of the update was that the author had received restored access to her Drive, but NOT the Doc that had started the entire difficulty. I waited for a response. And waited, and waited. In the meantime, I had no means to add to, respond to, anything to my original post or defend myself against some fairly sharp initial criticisms leveled against me by individuals who clearly hadn't read anything beyond the initial meme. Special. While I understand a sub this large likely has a lot of messages to field, I also felt that given they managed to freeze my post in a matter of minutes, they were really taking their time responding. So I weighed in on Instagram with a message of support. If nothing else is taken away, please take this: Back up your files. It's easy to create an alt Google account; this other account will have its own Drive storage. Share your folders and files with yourself. If you don't already realize, in Docs under the File dropdown menu the third option is Make A Copy. If you have shared the original document 75 times, you won't have shared that copy at all. Consider backing up your works to Indie platforms like Get Hermit, Ellipsus and The Quill. There may be others. Your own external hard drive is also a very good idea. But wait, you ask. What about just using MS Word, or having copies as a PDF file in the Adobe cloud? Not so fast, my friend. Look at Microsoft and Adobe's TOS regarding sexually explicit content...you'll get an unpleasant surprise. I did. In the meantime, a third update came from the OP on Instagram shedding far more light as to what had likely gone wrong. She had shared the Doc with she guessed 18-20 people as beta readers. The belief is now that one of these persons actually turned her in to Google via their abuse form. To quote one of the commenters on that update: "I heard from an agent that Google will only do this to your account if someone reports it. Google isn’t scanning docs for explicit content (except maybe images), but yeah, for this to happen, someone had to report her document to Google." This felt like a relief...and yet is still packaged inside a cautionary tale. How many of us have shared by 'whoever has this link'? I have, or rather, I had. I revoked all such permissions to all large stories and folders in favor of my few trusted long-time friends and beta readers. The works are on AO3. I don't need those Docs links to be free floating all over the place, not after seeing what can happen. I was on vacation in England some years prior when I realized I had lost the ability to send out all outgoing Gmail. It took me several days to figure out what had gone wrong and nearly lost me my ability to receive Covid test results at a time when that was a travel necessity...almost disastrous. Fortunately I had multiple email accounts and could work around the problem. Which brings me to the last of this.

While including the subreddit mod's responses here may seem retaliatory/petulant on my part...I'm at best miffed at their shortsightedness, maybe mildly insulted, mostly shaking my head at the fact that there is something to have been learned here that could have affected any one of us. No one was spreading misinformation. Something had indeed happened. The source of it had been unknown at the time of posting. Had they left my post alone I would have gladly redacted as it unfolded; the reason for placing it on that sub was not to create a giant stir but to let others know of the risk of this happening at all and to encourage backing up that which most writers invest a considerable amount of their emotional well-being; the safety of their written works. Yes, I'm neurodivergent. No, I don't always see the world as others do. No, I still don't think this difference allows the response to be interpreted as much other than a slight and working against the interests of authors (I'm on their side and last I checked, readers need the authors to have the things that are written in order to have the things to read. Just saying). Whatever, what really matters is, if you feel this is worth sharing, share, take away the important bits, and if someone out there just wants to write it up in 3 sentences so it isn't a tl;dr, do that too.

Have a Googly day, to all near and far, in these times in which we live...>.>

[taxidermycanine]

Ok are zoanthropes valid therians?

A therian identifies as non human.

Zoanthropes is a delusion disorder someone thinks they turn into an animal physically.

Every therian keeps attacking me when I ask claiming I think I'm perfect because I wanna know why!!! I don't think I'm better never have I either I'm fucking schizophrenic myself I know delusions suck, none of their reasons just make sense is all example "I think my body reminds me of my theriotype" cool but that's not the same I'm transgender, my shoulders reminder me of my gender identity but I'm still not thinking I'm actually transitioned then and that's not even zoanthropy at all then if you don't physically think your turning into another animal. And that's all the definitions I ever fucking got just people attacking others when I read other pages too people are so defensive but won't even explain for a second clearly!

/not in a mean way just generally frustrated

hey op, i mean this in the kindest way possible but i am not an advice blog. i can't explain why others may think that this isn't valid in therian spaces because i am not them. know that my page is always safe for everybody, especially because i am schizophrenic myself, but that in no way makes me a professional and i am not someone who can give the advice you seek.

i am okay with receiving advice asks, and i'll always do my best to help those who need it, but i think this sort of discussion is one i'm a little uncomfortable with.

i wish you the best. the only advice i have to give is that your therianthropy is your own, if you believe that you are a therian due to whatever disorders you may have, then you belong in this community. make your own space, block people who disagree, seek folk who understand/sympathize with what you're dealing with. most importantly, don't listen to others who say unkind things to you. write things down in a diary to try and understand yourself better. my blog is not a diary.

you will likely never be able to know why others dislike this sort of subject, because they have their own reasons, as unfortunate as it is. know that you ARE appreciated by some, that's the important thing.

stay safe anon, i hope you feel better soon.

[bluravenite]

So i hadn't seen the original post since I try not to be too active here but... Im going to list off references just as a reminder 🫶 !!

A tumblr user in the ghost fandom posted about their opinion that people shouldn't write or draw dewdrop and copia as trans or emotionally complex characters. Their reasoning being:

Here's the link to the og post as well as a great reply from media nocte, which i think VERY well sums up the general argument here. "Get fucked OP."

Also this wonderful response by leafy, my love...

As well as syringe's post which even lists Tobias Forge's opinions, which OP said the papas were 'his super secret fight club level identity' which if it were true, he wouldn't be accepting Ghost band awards as himself nor with his family, nor openly interviewing about it... If it was so secret...

Tobias has even been open about other characters of his (such as Mary Goore, as mentioned per an interview) used they/them pronouns even if not INHERENTLY trans or non-binary.

He's always been openly accepting of people regardless of their gender or sexuality (this isn't to idolize him, just stating my knowledge of his values.)

My last point to op?? Here's what those "trans" people think about mine and other works.

I know i have more personal conversations with people where we have discussed how validating it can be for trans and non-binary people to write, read, explore these characters.

A reminder. Tags exist. Read the fucking tags on a fic, chances are the author wrote trans!dewdrop or "usage of cunt" in the tags or notes, and if they didn't?? It takes 3 seconds to comment "could you please add a trans character content tag please?"

As an artist myself, who originally stuck to the "stage representations of the characters" i the slowly started exploring the way i perceive their stories, how i can make MY OWN ART out of these characters that relates TO ME and MY FEELINGS and likes and opinions and such because THAT is what creativity is about. Taking what the world gives you and making it your own.

I am not trans, i am barely even nonbinary... Labels are scary, half the time i don't know who i am okay? I don't always feel like a girl, i don't always hate my body, sometimes i feel like if i live in this body for just a second longer I'll have to scratch all the skin off and crawl out of it myself... Sometimes i wish i could bind, be flat, have a deeper voice, be more masculine, sometimes i want to wear skirts that are way too short and the pretty corset from renfaire that makes my chest look so puffy and pretty... Sometimes it's nobody's fucking business... And sometimes my characters reflect what i am, what i wanna be, what i am not, and what i may never be. And just like my gender and my body?? It's nobody's fucking business.

In all my niceness and honesty. (Which are starting to run lower every time people say stupid shit in this fandom...)

Get. Fucked. OP.

Now let me get a bit more personal for a moment op... I've the posts saying you "went to a Catholic school"

As someone who grew up going to an All-girls Catholic private school, as my whole family before me had done, here's a little bit of insight.

All the shit they told you?? Yeah it causes trauma, it causes resentment and repression. Feeling disgusted and surprised when this "male character" has "female" genitals? Please ask yourself how you feel about your body first. Your mind. Why do you want to read "gay/bi men doing those activities" but not a trans man enjoying himself just as much? Would it be different if if were a ghoulette? Would it be different if the ghoulettes were the ones doing it?

OP please evaluate yourself before you OPENLY SPEAK for a community that you are not a part of, and if you ever do decide to explore your own repression, sexuality, and gender? Know that you deserve a chance at fucking up and learning about yourself. I say this from personal experiences. Making catholic school your whole personality internalizes that "sinful" feeling. That's probably why you enjoy ghost too... Not to psychoanalyze a random person on the internet but...

Get help.

Thank you.

[chaotic-tired-cat]

Hey I'm gonna hijack this post to pour my geology energy over it for a second. Sorry abt that, op. (Also the artist is Ray Troll if anyone is curious)

So the bad news is that an extinction event has already started.

The good news is that scientists have plans to change it, and they're pretty simple.

(Preface: I don't know what's common knowledge. This may be news or obvious. Scientific communication is a complex feild I still get turned around with because the strategy for getting shit done involves how much doom and gloom is enough to get people moving without crushing spirits.)

We are absolutely 100% in an extinction event. If the Sixth Mass Extinction has technically started yet is kind of still up for debate, with more and more scientists leaning towards the answer of yes, we are now in a Big Sixth "Oh No" Time. Some articles and papers take it for granted, while steadily fewer try to disprove it.

We are in a big extinction event. I mean, just look at that:

Yikes.

I'm on the debate side of, "yes, it's already here." Look it up and choose for yourself after reading a few articles.

How to read scientific articles without making your brain melt: The abstract of a paper says most of what you need, plus the intro if you're still confused - skip to read results second, before skimming the whole thing. If you have the mental strength to read in depth then do so, but that's not needed for this kind of wide-scale search. My ask box is always open to help make that language accessible. Get at minimum three articles, at least one you instinctively disagree with, before starting on your opinion. Check the source section for like two seconds tops - if 90% of the sources by the same person, go back to cast a wider search result net. You've gone either too niche or into unreliable territory at that point. Grab from those debating if directly and those that accept the "current Sixth Mass Extinction" as fact.

Here's a starter kit of randomized sources it took me like two minutes to find: a debate, a second debate but different, vertebrae population loss, another (also different) debate, frog article, if taxidermy is more your vibe. A library should get you access to some locked articles. If that fails and it really matters to you, you can probably email the researcher. Those I've reached out to generally don't mind sharing published work if so long as the request is polite, humble, and honest about your curiosity. Be sure to thank them if they reply, regardless of the answer.

Here’s the good news about this big picture extinction problem:

We can change details.

(Okay, we can change a lot more than details. In a maximum efficiency scenario where people in high power positions through money, politics, and such can stick to the script experts provided, we would do so much it genuinely gives me shivers.)

I’m also aware it’s easy to be cynical and so will speak accordingly: there is still hope. The most effective response for this that I’ve seen so far comes from looking at where you are, finding one single changeable thing, and going fuckin’ wild. This is generally agreed as the best strategy for working class folks.

You burn out otherwise. Don't multitask to do everything.

A guy who lives near me has singlehandedly turned most of an island around, ecologically, by spending the majority of his free time weeding out invasive plant species. He did that all alone. Saved the forest near his family and neighbors. It's incredible.

There's more, too. The ferries I pass every day are being offered a chance to convert to partially electric instead of burning diesel. Controlled burning (which is so healthy for our forests) is back on the table as a method to reduce seasonal fires, which will allow plant life to really thrive. Mining nearby is being protested and I'm hopeful about it. Lynx are being brought back to the north by a small but dedicated team. Some wetlands spanning 350 acres got turned around to the south. Seagrass has been regrown in sanctuaries and farms for over a decade of hard work on this coast. (It is working. When a square meter of seagrass is 10 L of oxygen daily, that's a whole lot of habitat restoration and carbon capture. Marine biodiversity is not my feild but I've studied enough to know it's crunch time.) A near-extinct wildflower is showing up again on a nearby peninsula due to a tribe's hard work.

Actually, if you want to know how to help, follow the lead of indigenous peoples. Local native communities are doing so, so much, and showing scientists the way because their techniques & practices are incredibly effective. That list is so long that I’ll stick with my fave two local projects: fixing up northern salmon spawning grounds and bringing back the practice of making clam beds.

This is just local news specific to me as an example.

So.

We are in an extinction event. Probably a mass extinction with very bad times within 100 years by most estimates I've seen. We are seeing it get steadily worse.

But we are also seeing some parts get better, too. It would be dishonest of me to share a short quip of a depressing answer without adding some light to the dark

Guide For The Geological Time Periods In Order

[edelweiss-coffee]

hey! hope you’re doing well. I was wondering if maybe you can do one for Steve x reader where you’re really close best friends and one day you both go to a house party and steve gets pretty drunk and just super affectionate with you? like he’s never done this before and he’s holding your hand and sometimes even stealing kisses as if it’s something normal he always did and you blush every time but just overall drunk affection from your best friend

i got completely out of hand with this i'm sorry it's so long-- i never get to write for steve and i got carried away xoxo

"that lipstick-- again"

steve taps his foot, mocking impatience.

"you ready to go, cleopatra?" he jeers at you applying your eyeliner.

"almost," you drawl, mouth open, as if it will somehow make your eyes wide enough to fit a perfect stroke of liner.

"since we're late," he sets a beer can on your vanity. "pre-game?" he smirks.

"ah, don't you have to drive?" you ask, barely looking away from your mirror.

"yes, y/n, i do. that's why this," he cracks the beer open. "is for you. loosen up a bit?" he sticks his tongue out and nudges your shoulder.

"steve!" you motion at the lipstick in your hand, and the line of blushed pink smeared across your cheek.

"ope!" he laughs apologetically as you wipe your cheek and try again.

"fucker," you laugh. "i'm ready now."

"not yet, you're not. drink up, buttercup." he hands you the beer.

"fine, fine," you agree. and grab it. you take a sip first, but it's cold and therefore flavorless, so you just gulp the whole can down.

"damn, okay. let's go then." steve laughs and steps out the door.

the ride is short, but steve sings along loudly to his favorite mixtape all the while.

"I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOUR LOVE, TONIIIIGHT!" he beams, slightly out of tune, as your hair blows in the wind. what a sweet little memory to keep with your best friend.

when the two of you arrive to the party, the music is loud. everybody is attached to everybody. it's hot, and it smells like weed.

"y/n, over here," steve motions toward the kitchen.

he steps to the counter and pours nearly half a bottle of vodka into a cup and mixes it with what may as well be a teaspoon of soda.

"jeez, harrington. tryna put some hair on your chest, or what?" you tease, grabbing a shot glass.

"'m thirsty, what can i say?"

he starts downing his cup with ease. as you pour vodka into your shot glass, he starts making another drink, already.

christ.

you take the shot.

the bass of the music booms through the house as steve crafts his "drink" and you opt for a beer. you feel yourself reaching for steve as a comfort. you don't go out too much. but you let him finish mixing.

"c'mon, pretty girl. living room?" he gestures to you. cup in one hand, vodka bottle in the other.

"takin' that with ya?" you jeer.

"do you wanna keep comin' back into the kitchen for refills, or do you wanna do shots all comfy with your buddy?" he asks sarcastically.

he walks through the awning and into the living room. he's already stumbling. not a lot, just enough that you notice. having watched the boy walk up your driveway enough times to be familiar with his gait.

the two of you find the somehow empty reading window and sit gently next to eachother. as you sip your beer, steve chugs down his second drink and looks at you.

"you look so, so nice tonight, y/n.” he taps you on your leg and smiles.

"thanks, harrington," you laugh.

what a dork.

"that's really sUPER, SUPERGIIIIRLLL," he sings along to the song blasting on the stereo.

"didn't know you liked XTC, harrington. their music is for nerds," you tease, knowing full well they're your favorite band.

"oh really, y/l/n? that's inchresting--" he slurs. "aonly know this song buguz it's always playing on YOUR stero, you do realize that?" he laughs and brushes his hands against his thighs.

you smile and raise your hands above your head in mimed surrender.

"ya got me, i love me some andy partridge. gonna go grab a drink," you sigh, and stand to start toward the kitchen.

steve pulls you back down to sit, and you land on his lap.

"got a bottle right here, remember?" he drones. his voice is far more personal, quieter than you're used to. he looks at you through glossy eyes and glances down at your lips. his hands move down to your hips.

"you, y/n, are magnificently beautiful. breathtaking, even."

his hand moves from your hip to the side of your face. his face inches closer to yours and his eyes start to flutter.

holy shit, he's trying to kiss me.

"i-- i think you're pretty too, steve," you burst, climbing off his lap and back to your spot, next to him.

he's pretty drunk, so he shrugs off your rejection fairly easily. he swings the vodka bottle into your lap.

"still thirsty?" steve teases, with a smirk that would make any girl in hawkins swoon.

"yeah, thanks," you laugh, opening the bottle. you grab your cup and tilt the bottle.

"ah, c'mon. just take shots right out of the bottle. more fun that way." he playfully slaps his arm onto your thigh, but doesn't pick his hand off as quickly as he placed it there. you do as he suggested and take sips straight from the bottle, his thumb rubbing the fabric of your jeans.

"do you wanna... dance with me?" he asks.

"dance with you?" you laugh. "here?"

"why not? everyone's high out of their minds anyway. nobody's lookin'."

"stevie knicks makin' you feel romantic or something... stevie?" you giggle. "sure, lets dance."

you stand and reach for his hand. he looks shocked at how quickly you stood up, and stumbles to his feet, a bit off-kilter.

"get your bearings, stevie," you whisper, his hands reaching around your waist.

"you look so great tonight, y/n."

"you've said that a few times, beer goggles."

"it's not the alcohol, y/n, it's just my heart."

you lay your head on his chest and you both sway drunkenly to the music.

"you, you make lovin' fun, and i don't have to tell you, but you're the only one"

"i'm sorry for screwin' up your makeup earlier."

"don't worry about it, i fixed it up real quick. why are you still thinking about that?" you lift your head from his chest and lock eyes with him.

"just wanted to know how you felt about it, 'cos i've got this undying urge, y/n."

"undying urge?" you laugh. "to do what, pray tell?"

"to ruin that pretty pink lipstick, again."

your face burns up and before you can say a word, his lips are on yours. his hands make their way to your cheeks and his fingers lock into your hair. you pull away and look at his pink lips, his cherry cheeks. his glassy eyes.

"you are a lush, steve harrington."

"and you, y/n y/l/n, are the best friend i've ever had."

[phoenixyfriend]

Fake Sith TCW Trio

I have another fucked up time-travel AU! Who’s surprised? (Nobody.)

So like. Have you guys read that one fic where Luke and his students go back in time and pretend to be Sith Lords and are super hammy about it? (Sith Lord Swell by AMournfulHowlInTheNight)

This AU has contributions by @atagotiak, @the-lunar-system, @purronronner, @gelpenss, @creepingthroughthistidalwave, and @thisarenotarealblog.

I want TCW trio (plus Rex and Cody) to go back to several years pre-TPM and, since the Council DEFINITELY won't believe them about the Sith being back... they'll force the issue.

Anakin is weirdly excited about things and building up their backstory.

Anakin: Okay so I can definitely be a Maul type, with the unhinged ranting and manic laughter, Obi-Wan can be the whole Refined Rich Guy type like Dooku, where you can't even tell he's evil until he starts talking about getting out the eyeball scoops, maybe toss in a bit of mad science stuff? Ahsoka could play up like Ventress OR, oh oh, she can be the Light Side Child we need to PROTECT who's publicly begging us to return to the Light after our big dramatic Falls where we murdered like eighty people to save her, and-- Obi-Wan: Why are you never this enthusiastic about actual undercover missions. Ahsoka: Did you just have all this ready to go, or...? Anakin: WE COULD GET YELLOW CONTACT LENSES FOR ME.

Obi-Wan: How's my evil laugh?

Anakin going “Okay.. so if any of us need to murder someone to sell the bit it should be me, I think I could handle it the best. Why? No reason.”

Obi-Wan: I'm not sure a complete Fall could come from protecting Ahsoka, really-- Anakin: No, no, it could.

Obi-Wan: Surely you’d hold back because you realize neither of us want that for you. Anakin: Uh. Sure. Definitely.

Obi-Wan points out that none of them can channel the dark side to Prove they're Sith and Anakin just goes "Okay, give me like two seconds to stew in my negativity and--right, you can stop staring in horror, please."

Anakin rambles on that they can TOTALLY make the galaxy a better place while playing at being Sith! He's got a whole LIST of slave empires to "take over" and disassemble!

Anakin has a whole excited spiel about how EVIL soldiers and assistants are minions, in this case partly because Cody and Rex are too good at what they do to be mooks. Cody could pull off evil minion very well. Facial scar? Looks good in black? Quietly competent and sarcastic?

He also pushes for Obi-Wan to lounge in a fancy throne with a glass of wine while Anakin stalks the shadows and Ahsoka hangs out on the window ledge. The disaster lineage is dramatic, okay, Anakin’s just leaning into it, he’d appreciate it if everyone stopped looking at him like that.

Qui-Gon, surprisingly, ends up a skeptic about all of this. Everyone is freaking out about the Sith and he’s like “y’know I’m not even sure they’re darksiders.”

Some Jedi, possibly Qui-Gon for his conspiracy board, gets in a real risky situation and one of the Fake Sith saves them, but also panics and kinda drops character for a bit.

Jedi: You saved me! Why’d you do that? Anakin: I uh... just wanted the pleasure of killing you myself?

"You saved me. Why?" "Mmmm. Jedi." [walks away]

Qui-Gon: [trying to figure out what is up with these people semi-competently (from his perspective) pretending to be Sith] Dooku: [trying to protect Qui-Gon from Sith influence]

The gang is the most successful at pretending to be Sith to Dooku. Sure, they’re not gonna punish him for something he hasn’t done, but it’s not hard to act menacing and angry around him.

(They really do have so much fun irritating the heck out of Dooku. He hasn’t Fallen yet, but they want to keep an eye out.)

At some point, future Obi-Wan definitely drops that little tidbit of "What, you didn't think the Banites were the only Sith running around did you? You... didn't even know about the Banites. How... disappointing."

They REGULARLY use Ahsoka as an excuse to be marginally less terrible. They claim that if Ahsoka pouts, they stop. ‘Soka also uses them as an excuse for why she’s a lil feral. (To be fair, that one is accurate. She was already a lil feral before but it’s not like they did anything to stop it.) Ahsoka gets her "breaking into people's offices" jollies by bugging Nute Gunray's office.

The Jedi keep trying to Rescue Ahsoka.

Rex and Cody end up in real beskar, there's a whole Thing with Mandalore and Jango and Satine.

Obi-Wan is CONSISTENTLY worried about Anakin Falling for real, which... hey, at least he knows to be worried about Anakin Falling. Step up from canon, really.

Anakin is WAY too into killing the Hutts but like. It does... technically sell the bit.

Obi-Wan: Sure, I’m not sad that they’re dead, especially because we’re not connected to the Republic, so we don’t need to worry about starting a war and all that. But. Anakin is disturbingly cheerful about this. Rex: Wasn't he a Hutt slave? Obi-Wan: Well yes, but-- Rex: I'd kill Nala Se if I could get away with it.

Cody and Rex are very supportive of Anakin's murderous intentions.

Obi-Wan does understand anger, even killing someone in anger. Like Maul (the first time at least) and D’nar and a few others. All the same, like... y’know. The level of bloodthirst from the others is a little off-putting.

At one point, Anakin accidentally addresses young Obi-Wan by name, despite never having met before, and to cover it up, he... panic-flirts. He panics, and so he flirts, with young Obi-Wan.

(He will later blame this on old Obi-Wan, because he had to pick up the habit of flirting with the enemy from somewhere.)

Anakin vaguely implies that he's a wee bit obsessed with young Obi, and that the padawan should "get used to being the target of a dark-sider's interests," because he’s scrambling for Ominous Shit and, well, future Obi-Wan was pretty frequently a fixation point for darksiders, right?

The second he gets out, he just starts screaming into a bucket while Rex pats him on the back.

For the next however many terrible months, possibly years, he has to keep up the act while having an ongoing meltdown about how That's My Dad As A Twenty-Something.

(It doesn't help that young Obi-Wan reflexively flirted back.)

Old Obi-Wan, meanwhile, is just very "you dug this hole yourself, padawan."

There is an argument at the beginning about Obi-Wan’s outfit. If he’s gonna be a Sith, he can’t just go around in beige, but he’s like “I like this and it’s comfy.” Sure, he’s changed clothes for undercover stuff, but that’s always been temporary, y’know? He likes his beige.

We have a number of options.

My first instinct? Beige linen three piece suit, like a southern lawyer. "Now I may just be a simple Outer Rim force adept--"

And, of course, you can TOTALLY make the beige sinister: he’s impersonating a Jedi! Jedi impersonation would also explain why nobody has a red saber.

“Sure is good that the Jedi don’t seem to realize most of the galaxy doesn’t know red sabers are different and bad.” “Shhhh, stop poking holes in our story where a Jedi might overhear.”

Like.... if you do enough doublethink, it works! How would a Sith hide? In plain sight. Also, it’s a GREAT way (if they were actually assholes) to try to slander the Jedi name.

(Anakin and Ahsoka still think he could stand to put a little more effort in. Add a splash of color, for pity's sake!)

Though tbh part of me is like “What if Old Obi wore, like... a split skirt suit...” Victorian womenswear inspired because he misses his robes, but he has to look Professional, and like he's MOCKING Jedi instead of BEING one, so he wears a vintage-y split skirt thing over his leggings. Ends up looking a lot like what Ventress had for a while, but Beige. I also keep wanting to put him regency menswear.

Anyway. Obi-Wan’s wardrobe aside...

Anakin builds up his Tatoo accent again. It helps him with the (mostly true) "slavery helped me fall" backstory.

Either Cody or Rex offhandedly mentions being made to serve them (the Fake Sith) and now the Jedi are somewhat concerned about brainwashing. Are these Mandos the victims here?

“No like. Literally made for this. In a lab.” This is even more horrifying. So...

On the one hand good! The Jedi should be scared about Sith! On the other hand... it makes the Jedi more determined to stop them, specifically. They keep on getting in the way, just, all the time, and they’re not investigating the actual Sith problem, which is decidedly not great since the Team doesn’t actually know who’s a real Sith right now, except Maul, and who even knows where that guy is.

Obi-Wan, at some point: Do you think we've succeeded at this ruse... a little TOO well? Anakin: I don't follow. Obi-Wan, gesturing at the truly obnoxious amount of wealth they've collected, including "trophies" of their kills: Really? Because I'm a little worried! Anakin, planning out a battle to take on Nar Shadda: ...I'm not.

"How many people do we realistically we need to take over Hutt Space? Apparently... five."

(Mostly because Anakin is ridiculously op.)

ANAKIN AND YOUNG OBI GET KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES TOGETHER. It's tradition.

Anakin: Okay, so, I need to get really angry about something to pass as a Sith... time to think about my WIFE and how I'll NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

Since Anakin’s life never goes as planned... this does not work. Instead of getting properly angry, he makes himself sad. There are tears. There is wailing. There’s a distraught rant or two. Young Obi ends up awkwardly trying to comfort him.

“Oh no, this… Sith?? Is crying on me. What do I do???”

Later on, when the Council wants intel: "So... one of the Sith cried on me about his wife. I think she's dead? He wasn't very clear about it but it, uh... it sounded like it might have contributed to his Fall. Also the relationship was a little unhealthy? He basically worshiped the ground she walked on and kept ranting about how he would have given her the galaxy on a platinum platter of she'd only asked, but that might be new and inspired by the Dark."

One of the random Jedi is REALLY good at detecting the truth Through The Force, and asks Anakin how he Fell...

Anakin just. Tells the Tuskens story.

They don't get pinged as lying, but oh boy does old Obi have a LOT of questions for Anakin once they're in private.

There are other things happening to help sell the ruse. Some of them are necessary! Some of them are... not.

Obi-Wan: What's the best way to show we're rich and kind of evil, but like... classy about it? Anakin, immediately: I sit on the floor next to the throne, leaning against it, and you call me pet names while stroking my hair, and then when you need something killed I get to do it for you and then I go back to the floor and you thank me for the directed violence, and then you go back to Negotiations with criminals while I’m sitting there covered in blood. Obi-Wan: ...is there something you want to TELL us, or...?

"You're all going to get a glimpse of something normally kept hidden about me." "Anakin, you don't have to do that." "No, I'm gonna."

(Anakin has decided hes going to peel his kink tomato to sell this ruse, and the others are slightly uncomfortable with that.)

Anakin: Okay, I cannot keep flirting with you. Young Obi: Wait, what? But that's the best part of any time we run into you! Anakin: You look WAY too much like my Master did when I met him. Obi: O...kay? If someone looked like my master when HE was young, I'd-- Anakin: My Sith Master half-raised me. He's basically my dad. Obi: ... Anakin: What's that look for? Obi: I mean, you spend a lot of time lounging at his feet, and, like, given how much you hate slavery, I... kind of assumed it was a kink thing? Anakin, brightly: Oh no, I just have a LOT of trauma. And neuroses. Snips says they’re neuroses.

Young Obi is a little upset because he was actually getting REALLY into Flirting With The Enemy and was hoping it would go somewhere. He mopes to Qui-Gon about it. Qui-Gon isn't sure whether to be proud about Obi breaking rules, or worried over Obi-Wan falling for a Fake Sith.

(As Tia put it: "You enjoy making young Obi-Wan have a completely unrequited crush on Anakin, don’t you?")

Fortunately, one of those attractive Young Mando boys very kindly helped him tape up his ribs this one time, and has thus caught his eye...

I feel like having Cody date Young Obi would court an entirely different kind of (internet) drama because clone ages, but whatever.

Also please imagine an element of "so I'm dating the genetic identical of my boss... who's dating the man I'm a genetic identical of..."

(It's probably not actually Jangobi but man would that be funny and also stupid.)

Somehow Young Obi figures out that the "Sith Master" is a future him before he realizes that they're not actually dark. In his defense, Anakin was pretty convincing. Especially with the wife rant. It makes HIM more obsessed with Anakin, in a reversal of the implied earlier dynamic, which is all kinds of weird. Less romantic but like. Still weird.

"Future Me Scares Me" with Extra stupid. "Future Me Annoys Me." "Future Me acts like grandmaster Dooku, but more sass." "Future Me raised a really hot evil guy that refuses to bang Present Me." "Future Me might be a Sith, but I'm getting more and more convinced he's just fucking with us all." "Future Me is really rocking that beard, and I can't BELIEVE we figured out a way around the babyface."

"I’m kinda concerned about the whole evil thing, but I’m also glad that I know I’ll stay hot as I get older."

Quinlan approves of the priorities.

Also a lot of interactions with older Obi are very Anakin: [does/says something deeply unhinged] Obi-Wan: So, do you want to…. Talk about that? Maybe? Anakin: What’s there to talk about?? I’m fine, everything’s fine! Anyways how about those plans for tracking down Maul?

Anakin later, like way after the ruse is lifted, just blankly tells everyone that he did Fall, once, and Older Obi made him get therapy about it after the truth came out between the two of them a few months into the Fake Sith thing.

Where'd they find a therapist? I'm sure there's one SOMEWHERE around. Denon and Herdessa are close enough, and they've done enough "your criminal empire now belongs to me" that they can pay well. They make sure to find one that takes confidentiality real seriously.

It's all very "we need some more time to unpack all that."

Therapy helps get Anakin to figure out Sheev’s whole deal. They don't necessarily figure out he’s a Sith from it, but they figure out he’s sketchy and they need to look into that more. Obi-Wan probably already thought he was sketchy, but the whole active gaslighting campaign was a little surprising. They realize that he kinda benefited a lot from a lot of Sith plots and they still probably don’t think he’s a Sith but Obi-Wan is definitely starting to think he’s working with one.

"Okay, we're already bugging Gunray, should we bug Palpatine just to be safe?"

They get away with a lot of slicing because Anakin is a technical genius from twenty years in the future.

The reasons they're so good at Taking Over Hutt Space: 1. They know parts of the future. 2. They have superpowers and FAR less reason to not use them, now that their actions aren't going to reflect on the Republic. 3. They have Cody and Rex, who are two of the greatest military minds in the galaxy, and know EXACTLY how to wage a war that covers a solid third of the galaxy, starting from a position of relative weakness. 4. Anakin's charisma is scary high, and his knowledge of slave culture means they gain a lot of trust from the people they free, and they just... keep acquiring volunteers for the army they didn't plan to have. Obi-Wan doesn't know what to do. He thinks they might have started a cult?

In his defense, Dooku sort of started a cult, and Komari got kidnapped by a cult, brainwashed into joining it properly, and then took it over as head figure of said cult. It's practically tradition!

Comics Vader is the central figure of like three different cults, it was really just inevitable.

Anakin: Aw, don't worry master, it's not a cult, it's a revolution! Ahsoka: They're worshiping him, though. Anakin: ...it's still a revolution! Just... with some misunderstandings.

Also, if they got wind of people trying to keep people from being able to leave and other culty stuff like that, they’d probably put a stop to it pretty damn quick.

Names! Time for names. As per usual, it's easiest to keep track of Obi-Wan's alternate Older Self by just calling him Ben.

Darth Ben.

Ahsoka: You should be Darth Boring. Obi-Wan: I can still make you run laps, you know.

Anakin: The Force is telling me to call myself Darth Vader. Obi-Wan: ...why? Anakin: I dunno, but it sounds cool, I'll run with it.

Someone: Ben has all the answers; we shouldn’t question him, ever. Ben: One time I lost a planet, and a five-year-old found it for me.

More options: Going with the "evil word with the prefix 'in' chopped off" that we get with Sidious and Vader: Darth Surrectus (as in insurrection) Just random Latin words: Darth Temporus (time) Darth Commenticius (fake)

Anyway, back to Nonsense:

Maul goes after young Obi early, because the Fake Sith are really invested in this one random Padawan (Sidious is saying he might be a cousin of the false Sith Master? They do look similar enough) so someone needs to investigate. Naturally, Anakin shows up with some wild screeching to fight Maul, and when someone questions why he got involved it gets very "Kenobi is MINE!" and like. Okay. So.

Anakin means it in a very Sith "to toy with" and "to torture" way, or the ‘my chosen opponent!’ way, just the same kind of Obsession as Maul had with Obi-Wan in the original timeline. Unfortunately, Anakin’s a weird-ass person who flirts with Young Obi against his own better judgement, so there's some awkward "Like... your boyfriend?" from young Obi. Anakin just screeches in SOME emotion that nobody wants to interpret, and couldn't even if they wanted to, and starts whacking away at Maul again.

(Anakin hasn't explained the "you look exactly like my dad, sorry, it's just too weird" thing yet, and he is HAVING MANY REGRETS.)

There's definitely at least one instance where a person asks Anakin if he's planning on dating That One Jedi Twink, or at least banging out the tension. At that point in time, Anakin doesn't actually know who the fuck they're talking about, because "Obi-Wan + Twink = Does Not Compute" for dear, dense Ani, and instead he just ends up ranting about how he is LOYAL TO THE MEMORY OF HIS LATE WIFE, how DARE anyone so much as INSINUATE that he would TARNISH HER PERFECT MEMORY and UNWAVERING KINDNESS and WHOLESOME BEING, and the person who asked doesn't end up lightsabered but they do end up with a LOT to tell whoever they're reporting to.

Young Obi-Wan definitely hears Anakin mutter the phrase “something to discuss with my therapist later” a few times, and he’s a little bewildered because darksiders definitely don’t seem like the type of people to go to therapy. They’re the type of people to need therapy, sure, but not the type to go to therapy.

I think it would be very fun for Young Obi to continue sighing over Anakin (who's pretending to be fine with it and even flirting back because he's in too deep to stop and hasn't worked up the courage to explain the elephant in the room) while Anakin is covered in grease and infodumping while having a slightly manic hyperfocus on engine repairs while the two of them Somehow got stranded together in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (it's Plagueis's doing, he finds the interactions between THESE two in particular to be the most informative regarding the fake Sith).

Anakin, at some point while stranded with young Obi-Wan, and having actually started unpacking some stuff in therapy, though he’s def still got a ways to go: I’m pretty sure Ben cares about me. He acts like he cares, like he’ll do stuff like put extra blankets in my quarters in the spaceship because I get cold real easily or track down those droid parts I need for a project and he always has my back in a fight but y’know it’d be nice to hear him say he loves me once in a while. Especially because we kinda had a rough start and idk I don’t think he wanted me around at first.

And uh. Obi-Wan definitely relates to that a bit too much, y’know?

I want to say that Young Obi ends up mentioning All That to one of the clones or Ahsoka later, because they seem probably invested in Anakin's well-being, even if Ben is, well, a Sith, so Obi-Wan's a little worried the man's affection really is fake, but at least Ahsoka...

(Ironic, given what Anakin's actual eventual Sith would-be-Master was like.)

Young Obi mentions Anakin’s most recent rant to Ahsoka, and she just goes "Wait, is that why Skyguy likes to sit by the throne and get called pet names?" "Uh... I don't... know... but it sounds like all of you have a LOT to unpack there, Miss Apprentice."

Later on: "Master Kenobi, you need to tell Skyguy you love him 'cause apparently he's been having a lot of emotions about you not telling him you care and he's been talking to mini-you about it whenever they get stuck together and--"

Young Obi-Wan is just constantly the "Now we don't have time to unpack all of that" John Mulaney gif. Anakin in particular is a mess, and young Obi-Wan slowly goes from "I want to date that" to "I want to study that" about him.

Obi-Wan gets stuck somewhere with Ben, tries to small talk, gets on the topic of Vader, and spills the drama. He gets an awkward “Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”

It’s followed by a fairly frustrated “I try, but Anakin refuses to communicate his needs to me, and it feels like I’m always falling short.”

At least one member of the group is in therapy, probably all of them, but they’re still using young Obi as a sounding board for all this stuff. On the bright side, this is probably good for impressing the importance of good communication on Obi-Wan.

Good for Obi-Wan! And... whatever Padawan he eventually has.

As for baby Anakin, who is approximately age four, I want to go with "Anakin decides to be his own uncle, and Shmi just rolls with it because fuck it, she’s not a slave anymore, and a Fake Sith is a solid defense against anyone trying to re-enslave them."

[This is a backstory I've had them use before (see here and here).]

Seeing Big Ani and Little Ani in the same space might be what finally pings the "oh shit, that's future me" thing for Obi-Wan... you know, if he’s ever allowed close enough to see Little Ani in the first place.

Little Ani stays with the fake-Sith and is sorta jointly trained by all of them, and young Obi-Wan teaches little 'Soka at the Temple. Ani and 'Soka still end up friends somehow, but it is fairly different.

Every time little Ani addresses Old Obi as "Dad," it's just like ten kinds of awkward. The one time someone tried to explain that Ben wasn't his new dad, Shmi glared them down. She is of the opinion that, all the gods be damned, Ani deserves to refer to the most mature man in his life, who raised another him in another timeline already, as a father.

Ani doesn't NEED a father, Shmi herself is more than enough, but he does deserve to have this if he wants it.

An alternative conclusion to the time travel is uh. So the Mandalorians are genetically identical (give or take a hair gene) and really resemble Jango Fett, though whether anyone notices that is up in the air. Then the three ‘Sith’ (two fake Sith and their morality chain tag-along) have three younger, identical copies show up….

It could be really weird cloning shenanigans. Now, it makes no sense that they’d make clones, and stagger their production like that, and leave them as babies on various planets for Jedi to find. IDK what reasons Obi-Wan would come up with for that, but it’s a fun little detour before he gets to time travel.

There's a really painful moment (for the audience, who know about canon Vader) where someone tries to convince Ahsoka to leave the Sith and she's just like "no way, they'd never hurt me!” Then she clarifies that “someone has to keep them from doing stupid Sith shit whenever they get bored, you know?"

A bunch of Jedi probably think she’s delusional, but the few that have seen her get into trouble that is legitimately too much for her, which isn't often, have then seen Anakin show up like the devil himself to save her, and it's like. Oh. This is why she isn't scared of them hurting her.

We’ve discussed how Anakin does get concerningly in character with the fake Sith thing. However, Anakin and Ahsoka are, just once in a while, surprised by how Ben gets sometimes when playing the bad guy.

After all, he stabbed a dude with a fork and threatened to eat him during his time as Hardeen…

He has the same dramatic streak as all the rest of the lineage. He can be vindictive and creepy and scary as fuck.

HOWEVER:

Obi-Wan: I know I'm supposed to be playing at evil right now, but how do we feel about me making that evil a little... fruity? Ahsoka: Fruity, master? Anakin, who knows where this is going: [buries face in hands] Obi-Wan: You know, the... [limp wrist] Ahsoka: ... Obi-Wan: I mean, I'm already bisexual and well-groomed, I can play it up.

What’s the point of being evil if you can’t be flamboyant?

Anyway, I had to put in a lot of thought for what to do with Rex and Cody, because there's a solid place for them in terms of strategy, but it doesn't do much to give them independent narrative arcs, and 'young Obi-Wan has a crush' isn't much of an arc, you know?

So, basic info first: Cody, Rex, and Anakin all hold the rank of General in this AU because, like... who else is gonna. Ahsoka remains a commander because everyone declares her Baby, and also to keep up the "I'm a morality chain" ruse.

Cody maintains a very stern and unyielding public persona, but the second they're behind closed doors, he's roughhousing with his little brother.

Rex has some fun pretending to be a sadist whenever he and Anakin have to team up, because hamming it up as an evil bastard in front of Jedi is actually really fun... but usually, he's a competent fucking professional.

Because here's the thing: someone has to be.

They both kind of hate the army they've gotten, because these people don't even have proper trigger discipline, let alone any actual discipline.

This army? Tragic. They hate it. Give them the clones.

They have to be drill sergeants for months before they have anything worth sending onto the field.

I think that might be how/when they end up reaching out to Jango. Like, the first inroad is absolutely "we're your clones from the future and you were a Shit Dad so you owe us," but then they actually talk him around into letting the Fake Sith hire him. He brings along all the Mandalorians he can get to answer his calls, and on suggestion from Those Mando Twins, joins the army Ben doesn't even want.

Darth Boring doesn't want an army! Unfortunately, Cody thinks that's stupid as hell, and is overruling Ben so they can actually work on this 'cleaning up the galaxy of slavery' thing with actual resources.

Cody and Rex are super competent, and it shows in their horrified disdain for the state of their troops.

Rex: Fucking natborns. Anyone who isn't in the know: What's a natborn? Rex: [leaves without answering] People: WHAT'S A NATBORN???

(I'm assuming that the word smush is harder to parse in Basic.)

I think young Obi-Wan's new crush on Cody should also be unrequited. Cody's just like... bemused. Very "Okay, then, that sure is an Affection you've decided on."

Cody and Anakin both: Sorry, it’d just be too weird. Obi-Wan: Why would it be too weird? Cody and Anakin: Reasons.

Rex has to deal with the "whyyyyy" from both his brother and his (former?) General.

Young Obi-Wan just likes cute boys that fight good! Is that so wrong???

Ahsoka: So since we're not officially Jedi anymore-- Obi-Wan: We're still Je-- Ahsoka: Can we date? Can I date now? I want to date someone before we go back to the Code. It's a classic life experience for most teenage girls, and I want to Have That Experience before we're back at the Temple. Obi-Wan: You're not... you can date, Ahsoka, that's not actually banned by the Code. I mean, you'd have to keep it casual, but-- Ahsoka: I CAN DATE!!!

(Great priorities, Ahsoka.)

An idea I'm toying with is that one of the clones ends up Legally Engaged to Satine for political reasons, and young Obi-Wan is just like ???? because not only can he not date the hot boys, but one of said hot boys has become Mr. Steal Yo Girl.

Young Obi-Wan is suffering, and Quinlan is the worst friend ever because Quinlan is laughing at him.

There is obviously the question of

"How would Satine ever end up agreeing to that, given what their public personas are like and all that? She puts duty ahead of personal feelings but all indications are that it’s a terrible decision both ways." (as stated by Tia)

Which, yes, I forgot to actually say that I was imagining Jango had declared "those twins" his heirs after telling people they were his younger* cousins. Because reasons.

* Jango is about 27 when they land in the past, and I’m going to say the accelerated aging ended after hitting physically twenty because no, I don’t want to deal with that. As far as anyone knows, Cody and Rex are about five years younger than Jango. They’re less than year apart, which isn’t very visible, and most people assume they’re identical twins (except Rex’s hair), and that Cody just looks slightly older because of the scar.

Darth Boring had convinced Satine that the way to keeping Mandalore peaceful was to work with Jango (because Darth Boring, which is not his actual title but it is what Ahsoka insists on calling him in private, has a vested interest in keeping Mandalore and all interested parties calm), and he... maybe accidentally set up a political marriage between her and one of the clones.

It wasn't on purpose! Satine never married in his timeline, okay, he didn't expect her to ever get married here, either! He didn't even suggest it! This just happened!

(I want to say that Cody would be more competent at having a political marriage? But IDK.)

Do I do the Satine thing? It has potential, but also it's a bit of a cop-out. Do I have Cody be a diplomatic representative for their pseudo-Sith empire? He could be, but I think he'd hate it. Do I have Rex date one the Chaos Entities (Anakin or Ahsoka), or is that too repetitive with my other works? THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH GOING ON.

Part of me wants Quinlan to get a crush on Cody, and the crush gets bigger specifically in response to the fact that Cody refuses to take him seriously and/or just doesn't give him the time of day.

Based on their one interaction in TCW, they probably let get along ok. Cody maybe likes him back, buuuuuuut internally he's just a little "you were tolerable at almost-forty; early twenties you is obnoxious."

Just imagine the absolutely puppyish attempts at gaining approval and Impressing The Hot Mando General. Quinlan keeps having vague daydreams of seducing someone to the side of the Light. He really leans into the bodice ripper fantasies of saving someone evil with the power of love! (And also the power of really good sex.)

Bant looks at Quin and Obi and wants to throw them both into the nearest pond because they're idiots, but on this topic they are the same flavor of idiot. She considers calling up Reeft and Garen to help her knock some sense into them.

Quinlan: Can I volunteer to go undercover to the Sith? The Council: No. Quinlan: ...what if I-- The Council: No.

Tholme tries to get Qui-Gon to commiserate over their Padawans getting obsessed with Hot Sith Boys, but Qui-Gon just finds the whole thing funny. He knows from the chats he has with Ben that Anakin feels so completely, utterly, incredibly awkward about all of this.

(Ben continues to hold to "Anakin brought this on himself.")

(Ben also “kidnaps” Qui-Gon a lot.)

Also, hey, at least Quinlan isn’t actually into hot Sith boys! He’s into hot Sith minions which is... probably a step up. At least Cody’s not a Sith himself!

It's a step in some direction but Tholme has no idea which one.

(Quinlan sees Cody in dress uniform once and just keeps the mental image for Ages. It’s in his dreams. Sometimes said dreams overflow to Tholme via Force Mind Magic and Quinlan wakes up to someone smacking his face with a pillow.)

Arguably, Quin's also a lot more romantic about his crush than Obi-Wan is, in this case. Quinlan: I want to save him... Obi-Wan: Hey, hey, cute boy. Look at me. Let’s bang.

Cody: There are currently two future Jedi generals having some form of absurd romantic fixation in my direction. I don't know how to feel about this. Rex: Bed them. Cody: ...I'm not saying that's not eventually an option, but one of them is the younger Kenobi, and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Rex: Pat him on the head like a tooka and then bed his friend, it'll be funny.

I think the Quinlan thing and also general exasperation of leading an absolutely useless army can function pretty solidly as the basis for Cody, but I have another idea for Rex now.

Komari is currently brainwashed in a cult, yes? So.

I keep bouncing around back and forth on what to do with Rex, but part of me suddenly really likes the idea of, after Team Fake Sith finds and dissolves the cult (as one does), and takes Komari into custody (because she's dangerous and deeply unwell), Rex kind of ends up her touchstone to being a decent person. He’s not a morality chain, and it’s not really a redeemed-through-love thing, just This Is A Solid Dude who doesn't pity her or thinks she's irredeemable (however you choose to define such a thing), but actually relates to the kind of conditions living like that can involve, and just kind of...

I don’t know. I think Rex's arc in this AU could be very heavily grounded in something to the effect of "You're not the worst darksider I've met. You're not the only person who was in a cult. You're not even the only former Jedi I know that's committed awful, horrible crimes. My question is just this: What are you going to do moving forward?"

Later Anakin: Wait, who do we know that was in a cult? Rex: What did you think Kamino was?

(Rex isn't as chill as he'd like her to think, but he's trying, and she's fairly reliant on the Force to understand emotions, and is currently in nullifying cuffs, so he can bluff.)

Komari needs someone solid and dependable to rely on for at least conversation, and I think Rex needs to feel needed.

I’m not sure if it’d be romance or friendship, but I think there's a solid basis to work with, potentially.

Per Tia:

One thing about Rex and shipping is like. If you want to do Rexwalker again that's fine, but if you're worried about repetitiveness but still want to like. Ship him in a non-political-convenience way. Rexsoka here actually would be different than your other stuff.

I'm trying to figure out if I can make it work because Ahsoka thematically fits very much into a little sister shaped hole here? She feels younger than in other works, despite not actually being younger than she is in, say, Commander Buir. In those other fics, she has some time alone to function and prove herself independently of Anakin and Obi-Wan.

I usually pluck Ahsoka out at sixteen if I'm pulling her from TCW, so she's got most of her competence but hasn't gotten quite all the trauma yet. Commander Buir, in particular, also has baby-shaped Anakin for contrast.

That said, I can see a decent source of narrative conflict in her wanting to experiment with romance and all that, and Anakin trying to tell her she's too young.

A year into this whole time-travel mess, she wants to give the dating thing a shot, and it spirals into "You were only two years older than me when you got married!"

I think I could build a plot out of Ahsoka wanting to do these things, and Anakin as an audience insert not quite processing that she's old enough to make these decisions. If she's choosing to date Rex, whose age works out as being close to hers when one takes into account Kamino fuckery, and whom she trusts absolutely, it’s arguably extra weird for Anakin to be upset with it.

"Senator Amidala was five years older than you, and you married her when you were nineteen and had only really known her for a week! I can go on a date with a guy we both know is one of the most trustworthy people alive if I want, Skyguy!"

I can definitely see Ahsoka getting annoyed with Anakin being overbearing and controlling at some point before that unrelated to romance, too. It’s not exactly a new fault of his.

My god, just imagine someone snidely asking Anakin "where's your little shadow?" and Anakin, being Himself and also a Fake Sith, has an emotional breakdown about how Ahsoka yelled at him for micromanaging her and not trusting her to make her own decisions in life and so she got herself a multi-month solo mission from Ben that Anakin isn't allowed to know any details about, and--

It's another one of those "oh, you have PROBLEMS problems with your mental health" incidents for the Jedi to add to the file, because Anakin having emotionally charged rants about his issues at seemingly terrible times is how they get a lot of information.

Some of the rants are planned.

Many of them, actually.

They want the Jedi to know these things.

Just, well. Anakin.

He really is a little Like That.

On that note, I'm low-key imagining that Anakin gets put on mood stabilizers by the therapist in this context, and he's doing good! He's handling his issues! He's--been captured with Obi-Wan the Younger again and his medication was confiscated.

Anakin is... not great. He's a little out of practice managing his unmedicated self, and when adding withdrawal symptoms onto that... poor Anakin.

(Poor Obi-Wan.)

I think it would be best if Anakin makes a bunch of ominous blustery comments at their captors about how they won't like what's coming to them if they take his belongings (AKA the fanny pack that has his backup pills), and then Obi-Wan just gets to watch Anakin get more and more erratic, because like. Yes, Anakin is using the Force to compensate, but unfortunately he's mostly cut off, and the stress of the situation is pushing him away from depression and into the beginnings of a manic episode.

Anakin is aware of his issues to the point where he's mostly managing, and he keeps asking Obi-Wan "would it make sense for me to [slightly deranged, very impulsive action]," and Obi-Wan realizes he's being the morality sounding board for the Hot Sith because ??? reasons?????

Eventually, Anakin does flop back in bed and dramatically throws his arm over his eyes, and says he needs his meds back, he's absolutely going to lose it, and Obi-Wan tentatively asks what kind of medication. There are levels to worry about. Mild allergy medication is one thing, but heart medication that needs to be taken every four hours is another, you know? He wants to know how much panic is appropriate.

Anakin lets him know that it's Psychiatric In Nature. Obi-Wan suddenly realizes that he really, really, really doesn't want to know what a properly erratic, unmedicated Anakin is like.

(An unmedicated Anakin really isn't nearly as bad as Obi-Wan fears. Anakin's been dealing with this for a while, and knows what his issues are and some of how to deal with them. He'd need to be running on no sleep and higher levels of stress, or to have been drugged with something meant to increase his aggression, to really lose his shit and do something worthy of Vader. RotS levels of stress and sleep deprivation is required to pull RotS levels of manic paranoid delusion.)

Tia asked:

How long does it take the Jedi in general to catch on to how like. They have opportunities. But these Sith never seem to harm any Jedi. And it’s not just like, the past timeline parts of the disaster lineage. They probably get opportunities to hurt other Jedi. Ones that are less skilled at saber work. And more importantly ones that they don’t seem weirdly interested in."

I'm not sure, really. The Jedi don't spend as much time in the Outer Rim as they could, and that's where the Team operates, so actually running into them by accident is unlikely for anyone other than Shadows.

Fortunately, it's really easy to toy with Shadows with the excuse of "I want to see how long it takes before you Fall with us."

I do want like... okay. Here’s the mental image:

Qui-Gon calls them out on being Fake Sith pretty quickly, so Ben just sort of eyes him, dramatically, and orders out "Leave us" to all non-team people. The threat of torture is implied but not stated. He gestures with wine to keep in character. He definitely makes sure Young Obi-Wan is ushered out, so it's just five time travelers, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Ahsoka's immortal force birb.

"...so, what's the reason for the farce, Obi-Wan?" "How in all the hells did you figure it out so quickly?"

(Qui-Gon cheated a bit. He could feel the broken training bond that was never properly severed due to Traumatic Death Of A Master on Ben's end)

Ben didn't realize he'd feel it! Young Obi-Wan can't feel his older self or a training bond with Anakin or Ahsoka, so why could Qui-Gon?

IDK if there would be anything on the level of crying and hugging it out, but I think it would be very funny if, every time young Obi and Anakin are getting captured by pirates or something, Ben and Qui-Gon are just having a nice afternoon tea and checking their watches to see if their respective walking bundles of neuroses are done with their adventure yet.

The Council is So Done, because Qui-Gon continues to insist that they're Not That Bad, but every time anyone other than Qui-Gon brings up the friendship, Ben laughs and makes a comment about how absolutely gullible Master Jinn is.

Obi-Wan is skeptical of his own experiences with Anakin, at least, if only because he's skeptical about Anakin's everything.

"I don't know if Vader is telling me the truth. I don't know if he's telling himself the truth. I don't think he's a great source of information even when he thinks he's being honest."

Anakin could tell Obi-Wan the full and complete truth, and Obi-Wan would worriedly put a hand to his forehead and start doing tests for hallucinations and paranoid delusions. In his defense, this is a very reasonable assumption to make with an individual like Anakin. It's just also not accurate, this time. I don’t know if Anakin hallucinates in canon without a weird inciting incident like Force Nonsense or getting drugged by the enemy, but paranoid delusion is pretty much all of RotS.

"I’m your time-traveling padawan who’s pretending to be a Sith to catch some other Sith who’re going to start a galactic civil war and those Mandalorians you like are from a clone army based on a template of Jango Fett made to serve the Jedi (because that’s totally something he’d sign up for), and one of the Sith is your grandmaster but he doesn’t seem to have fallen yet, it’s probably fine," is hard to believe.

Honestly, even if he seemed stable before saying that, which he doesn’t, it’s all real far fetched. There's a lot going on and Obi-Wan wouldn't even begin to believe it without evidence.

I've had it in my head that he and Bant and Quinlan have been gossiping about the mess for months if not years about these idiots, and at one point it became common knowledge that Ben was a Kenobi, and Bant convinced them (since the two were among the most likely in the entire Order to encounter the Fake Sith) to get a DNA sample, probably hair or blood since that's easiest so they can figure out HOW these two are related, if they are, and then there's a whole big thing.

Bant: No, no, this must be contaminated, it's coming up as Obi-Wan! Are you sure you didn't accidentally grab some of your own hairs? I know it's a little long for most of your hair, but the braid-- Quinlan: Wait, they keep claiming stuff about cloning, right? Maybe someone's a clone? Check for artificial telomeres! Bant: ...okay, so, there aren't any artificial telomeres, but the ones from apparently-Ben are... a lot shorter... um... I don't know what to do with this. It's like I have two samples from the same person, twenty years apart. Quinlan: Obi-Wan, what's that face? Why are you-- Obi-Wan: Vader told me he was a time-traveler. I thought it was the fever talking, but...

That’s how he finds out that Ben is future-him before finding out about how he’s not evil!

"Master Jinn... I think... I think the Sith controlling the Outer Rim is me from the future." "Oh, you finally figured it out?" "I AM HAVING A CRISIS HERE."

Obi-Wan, after a few hours of dazed realization, runs screaming to Quinlan and Bant like 'GUYS GUYS THIS EXPLAINS WHY VADER KEPT SAYING IT WAS WEIRD AND THAT I LOOK LIKE HIS MASTER AND THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE DATING HIS DAD.'

You know, the important stuff.

I think Qui-Gon tells him that Ben isn't evil because, like, That Sure Is A Crisis Obi-Wan's Having. He could hold off for shits and giggles, sure, but Obi-Wan’s on the edge of something Really Concerning, mentally. Best help calm him down on at least one or two things.

Obi-Wan’s maybe still a little skeptical until he confronts them over it. Because their Sith act was real good and also like. Maybe Qui-Gon just wants to believe the best of his Padawan, y’know?

Quinlan runs into Ben before Obi-Wan does, after this whole mess, and gets to observe as money changes hands and people act like sore winners about bets made for When Does Obi-Wan Figure It Out.

Anakin was saying 'soon' because he really didn't think the fever-fueled rant would be discounted as easily as it was.

Cody was of the opinion that it would take at least a few more years since they're actually pretty damn good at this whole schtick.

Quinlan: Wow, he's... going to be really disappointed that you have such a low opinion of his intelligence. Cody, gesturing at Ben: Experience. Darth Ben: ಠ_ಠ

Cody just rattles off some of the Extremely Stupid Shit that Ben's done in their time working together.

Rex cheerily offers up "You didn't even realize General Skywalker was married, sir! And they weren't subtle!" "I knew they were together, I just didn--" "Everyone knew they were together, sir. Everyone."

(Rex had the lowest opinion of their deductive capabilities. He claims it would have taken until Baby Ahsoka showed up at the Jedi Temple.)

-Once Obi-Wan accepts that they're decent people after all- Obi-Wan: Wow, Anakin, you're real good at acting unhinged! Anakin: Haha. Yeah. Thanks?

[tsunderedoctor]

Hey Tsun! I’d like to request some headcanons for OP characters with a SO that talks a lot (like lot lot) but is insecure about it. I’ve often been told that I talk too much or that I’m too loud and it always makes me feel bad. I’d like them for Ace, Law, Sanji and Bartolomeo if that’s okay :)

Hello, Beelze!! I apologize this took a while, I hope you are doing well!! I love you!💜💜

Loves to listen to you talk! No matter what you are saying, he will listen! He’s an extrovert himself, so he loves when the two of you can just talk about whatever comes to your mind (especially Luffy)!!

Ace can also be a bit insecure himself, so he understands where this insecurities come from, but he wants you to know he doesn’t feel that way about you! He loves you for you, and doesn’t mind if you talk too much or too little, just be yourself!

Due to his polite nature, he won’t yell/tell someone off for being rude, but he will let them know they shouldn’t say that and they should understand how that than can be cruel. He’s an empath, so he wants others to see that as well!

A words of affirmation lover, so he always tells you how smart and clever you are for your ideas! Wants you to feel special and know it’s okay to talk, no matter what others say.

Opposites attract, and I believe the same can go for Law! He needs someone who is more extroverted and can speak up for themselves. It’s why he and crew get along so well! They are his missing piece to his crescent moon soul!

As annoyed as he may look at you, when you aren’t looking a small smile finds its way to his lips as he remembers Cora and his family, especially his own extroverted little sister. How she always managed to make friends, leading him along for the fun of it. 

If anyone bad mouths you or makes a snide comment/ telling you to shut up. He gives them a death glare, holding Kikuko tightly in his grip as he stares them down. As much as he hates to admit it, he and Luffy are similar, and one of those similarities is their love for their people. 

He always does something while you talk, it’s his way to keep focus. Whether that is reading, eating onigiri, or even sitting his head on your lap and watching you (though if you bring it up, he might get embarrassed and run)!

Sanji is also an extrovert, so he prefers when you both can talk about the things you both enjoy! He’s used to Zoro telling him to shut up, so he doesn’t react at first when someone tells you to shut up, not understanding that it hurt you. 

Once he does learn though, the simp in him comes to life and he will defend your honor! No one hurts his beloved Y/N-chan and gets away with it!! 

If it were a male or someone like Zoro, expect him to fight them for your honor! How dare they tell someone as amazing and beautiful as you to shut up, and hurt your feelings for that matter!! What if you decide to never talk again?! He couldn’t bare the thought!

Will remind you every day how much he loves your voice and the ideas that come from your amazing brain! No matter what anyone may say, you deserve to speak whenever you like to him!

Similar to Sanji, he will go into simp mode right away when someone says anything mean to you! He loves to hear you talk, and is also an extrovert himself! So let this man fanboy over how amazing you are!

Gets highly offended when someone says anything rude to you, as if he was on the one they insulted. He takes great pride in you and wants everyone to see how fabulous you are, damn it!

Could listen to you talk for hours with a lovesick expression on his face the entire time! He’s so in love with you, it’s ridiculous! Nothing you say or do will ever change his mind about you! You’re his angel!

If you ever ask him if you talk to much or if you are annoying, he will deny it instantly. Refusing to believe in the lies of haters, he stands strong in his belief that you are the best thing that happened to him, whether you talk a lot or not, who cares?! There’s so much more to you!

[sibswin]

I will chime in here-

As a cis guy, I don’t have a lot of horror stories on here. And I am NOT saying that to brag.

Now, I do have a couple -(skip to — for my larger point) in particular, a 30 year old guy who kept dodging the question of whether he was a twink or femboy (aka the type of guy i’m attracted to) and ended up very pushy, texting me again and again, and even when we talked and i told him i wasn’t interested because he was 30, and of course, he kept pushing in his next message until i think i blocked him. so sure, i have a couple here and there

——-

BUT, that is the exception, and not the rule.

From everything i’ve heard from NUMEROUS of female and NB friends in this space, they deal with a LOT more of this sorta thing than I do. A LOOOOT more. Like, an absurd amount.

Guys spamming, chasers, more creepy older guys, pushy ones…

And sure, i may be open to more people than you (OP), but almost everyone i meet is nice and caring. That does NOT seem to hold true for most of my female and NB peeps.

I might have a few bad stories. But only a few….

Listen, I won’t act like i’m the first person to discover sexism and misogyny. Especially since i’m a guy obv. but like

This ISNT a nsfw blog thing

This ISNT a normal thing

This ISNT an acceptable thing

And it ISNT okay.

It’s a shitty sexism thing.

And yknow what, there’s a nonzero chance that one of the guys like this will be reading this right now….instead of just telling you to unfollow me, lemme tell you how to hopefully be a better person while horny. this comes from someone who has messed around with more people here than you can count.

1. READ. THEIR. PINNED.

Seriously. Before you ever interact with someone, read their pinned. Please. Look at it, read it, and abide by it. If they say do not DM, DO NOT DM. if they have a specific boundary, ABIDE BY IT. Seriously. And actually, i’ll also send this one out to some of the ladies out there. While it’s not caused any major problems and i don’t really hold any ill will, and people quickly apologize when they mess up, there have been incidents in the past where someone accidentally violated one of my boundaries due to not reading my pinned. (in particular: the no romance boundary). So yeah, read people’s pinned.

2. IF IT IS A GREY AREA, ASK FOR CLARIFICATION!!

Even a simple “hey i hope you’re open to x,if not that’s cool” IS GREATLY APPRECIATED BY PEOPLE. If you don’t know, it’s okay to shoot your shot, but ASK FOR CLARIFICATION. Don’t just fully jump into it, seriously. And it’s okay, people won’t hate u if they clarify they don’t want to mess around with you: they’ll probably just go “aw sorry, but i hope you find success!” not everyone is into everyone, but that’s okay, just don’t be a dick who jumps fully into it without asking if they’re okay with it

3. EITHER WAY, DONT JUMP INTO CONSTANTLY SPAMMING THEM WITH MESSAGES AND FANTASIES

That’s how you end up crossing a line. That’s how you go from shooting your shot to trying to push yourself onto them.

I usually do a playful and flirty greeting + maaaybe a short fantasy. And then leave the ball in their court. Don’t overwhelm them with tons of stuff, because then you again; go from shooting your shot, to pushing yourself onto them. If you want to give long fantasies without knowing them prior, that’s what asks are for, if their pinned and such is okay with it.

DMs are different and more personal. Be respectful.

4. DONT DANCE AROUND QUESTIONS

Seriously. To give the example from earlier of my own story, dancing around whether youre the type of guy i’d be into at all is shitty. Because you know the answer might be no, but you’re trying to hide that fact. Don’t do it. Be honest and upfront with people. if they aren’t into you, they aren’t into you, there are a million fish in the sea. and in fact, you being untrustworthy just hurts ur chances, because it signals that you’re well, not someone i can trust, and who cares about my pleasure too. Speaking of,

5. LEARN TO BE OKAY WITH “NO”

Like, okay, lemme be straight here. Some people ARE going to say “no i don’t wanna” and that’s fully okay. You also can’t change that, and you’re a dick if you try to. Just take it in stride and move on. In fact, most people who say no to you will be genuine and nice about it!….if you’re actually KIND and don’t try to be pushy on them. They might even wish you luck on finding someone and generally wont hold any ill will against you.

Finding people on here is about finding people who are compatible with you - and not everyone is compatible! but just because you two aren’t compatible doesn’t mean they hate ya or don’t like ya as a person. They probably hope you do find someone who you’ll be compatible with!! You’re both just players of the same game, after all. That’s all there really is to it

Plus, well

6. RESPECT OTHERS, INCLUDING WOMEN AND NB PEOPLE, AS PEOPLE

This is also part of respecting “No”s but this goes in general.

No matter how degrading or kinky or whatever anyone on here is, they’re a real human person who has a whole life and personality and EVERYTHING. and like this goes for people in general but like

Women are human. just like. seriously yall

Respect them.

They deserve respect. Just like you and I.

this might sound blindingly obvious but considering the type of guy who might be reading this, i’m saying it

7. PEOPLE ARE NOT KINK MACHINES

Just, genuinely. NOBODY is a kink machine. Nobody is a dispenser for you. I’m a bit tired as i’m writing this section after the others but like. Don’t expect kink from them 24/7. Don’t expect kink unless they want to do it. In fact, maybe you shouldn’t “expect” anything from anyone at all, because it is not an obligation from any of us. If someone is taking a long time to respond to you, that’s okay! Hell they have the right to not respond to you, I REPEAT, THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT RESPOND TONYOU. But they also might respond to you, but there is no obligation for it to be in a timely manner!!!!! People have lives. People do things. People are not just horny dispensers for you. Please, learn to be okay with that.

And side note, no, idc how sex addicted you are, you probably wouldn’t be a kink dispenser either. Take it from another guy who felt like horny stuff was an addiction for him and still does tons of stuff- when i got on here and overall messed around, I realized that as much as i did things, i also wasn’t up for things 24/7, and didn’t want to do stuff with everyone all the time, and sometimes felt the pressure from that myself. I have met people equally as absurdly horny as me, but NONE of us are kink dispensers. And you probably wouldn’t be either, so don’t try to just act like there is someone out there who is, because u think ur constantly horny. idk if i communicated my point here well

8. Kink is kink. but kink is not real life.

There is a play space, and then there is real life. And sure, they might have some overlap, but…let’s put it like this, using an example from my perspective

A woman is being, in kink/play space, mean and degrading to me, and I like it, because that’s what i’m personally into.

And then suddenly, she says something that feels romantic. And I IMMEDIATELY start feeling very uncomfortable, because that is personally one of my boundaries.

If I then bring this up to her, and she doesn’t immediately step out of kink space for a second to apologize and acknowledge me and my uncomfortability, that is then a problem. Why?

Because kink hurt can feel good. Real hurt? Doesn’t.

Whatever hurt that form takes, even if unintentional.

Because in reality, it is all just a scene. There might be some real emotions mixed in, but it’s not real.

In reality, you should both be doing something that makes you both feel good. That is the goal!!!! Hell even if ur doing a kink as a “only for my pleasure” type thing, which i have discussed with someone before, the byproduct of it being only for one party’s pleasure SHOULD BE THAT THAT FACT FEELS GOOD FOR THE OTHER PERSON!!! And, while you should always have safewords, YOU SHOULD ESP HAVE SAFEWORDS IN CASES LIKE THAT!!! Even thw time i discussed doing this in particular as a kink I was also very clear that the other person would NEED to immediately tell me if it didn’t at all feel good, and I had to trust them to, since the point would’ve been that i wouldn’t care. (unless they told me it wasn’t feeling good)

And like,

YOU. SHOULD. TAKE. CARE. OF. YOUR. KINK. PARTNERS. AS. PEOPLE.

And now, now, take the example I used earlier; of someone stepping out of kink space to apologize for making me uncomfortable and to acknowledge me.

Now, flip the genders.

And put yourself in the shoes of the person who crossed a line, even accidentally.

Would you be willing to step out of kink space? Would you be willing to acknowledge them? Would you be willing to apologize? Genuinely?

Would you?

If the answer is no, you need to change that before you engage in kink.

Please. I’m begging you.

That’s what matters

9. JUST. BE KIND YALL

And this, really, is what it all comes down to. Be kind, to your kink partners, as people. Respect them. Don’t straight up push yourself onto them. Be willing to apologize, not just to step out of kink space and help them, but because you care about them, and are willing to acknowledge when you made a mistake. Don’t dance around their questions. Be willing to have gentle conversations if needed, be willing to ask “is this okay?” or say “no is valid.” remember to have a safe word and drop things immediately if it’s said! Be willing to listen to Nos.

And…take care of your kink partners, alright?

Please.

So yeah. Some of the treatment some blogs are getting on here isn’t okay, please be kind to people out there, and….yeah

people are always annoying u damn, i feel so bad for u girlie

ahhh it is what it is. every nsfw blog on here has a loootttaa horror stories I’m sure, some people just don’t prefer to share which is entirely understandable!

[indiee19]

Still Got Pictures Of Friends

Alex Turner x reader

Summary: Alex is looking through some pictures of you both and realizes that he has feelings for you.

warnings: none

word count: 1.7k

-Requested by @misspygmypie

A/n: Aaaaaand, my quarantine is officially over.

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You knocked on the door with one hand, holding a box in the other. Alex had asked you to bring some pictures of you and him that you had. You agreed and gathered all the photos into a box. You and Alex had been friends for as long as you remembered. The both of you grew right beside one another, and had grown quite close over the years and had always lived within a twenty minute driving distance from each other. But that was all changing now that he was moving to the states full time.

He had previously lived part time in New York and part time in London, but now he was moving to Los Angeles and he planned on staying there. You couldn't deny the fact that you were sad and that you would miss him a lot, but it was his life and he could do whatever the hell he wanted to. A moment passed before Alex came and opened the door for you, greeting you with a hug, kissing you on the cheek, stepping to the side so that you could come inside.

There was boxes everywhere, stacked on one another. most of the furniture was missing, and as far as you could tell, the sofa was the only piece of furniture that was still in his house. "'ey, love. I see you've brought the pictures I asked you for," Alex said, closing the door and walking to the main room with the sofa and he sat down. You handed him the box. "Thanks, love."

"No problem, Al. Now is there anything else you want me to bring you before you ... leave?" you said, trying to hide the fact that you were going to miss him a lot. Alex took a moment to think about what you had asked him. "No, not anything that I can think of," he said. "Love, you know that you can sit down, right?" he asked, a laugh accompanying the end of the sentence.

"Oh, no, I have to go meet someone in just a few minutes," you said, inhaling deeply.

"With who, a hot date?" Alex laughed, a big smile forming on his face. "Well, uh, yeah, actually," you said quietly. As soon as you said that, Alex's big goofy smile disappeared. "Oh, well ... uh ... 'ope you have fun then," he said, looking down at the floor.

"Thanks, I will," you said. There was an awkward moment of silence and you just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or what to say. "Well, I best get going. Don't want to be late for my 'hot date,'" you said, quoting what Alex said previously, the both of you chuckling slightly. "Okay, well, bye," Alex said, standing up and hugging you and he walked you to the door. You said you goodbyes again and then you left.

Alex sighed and shut the door and locked it, walking back over to the couch and he sat down, running his fingers through his fluffy hair that he didn't care to style today, not planning on going anywhere at all. Though you didn't know it, he would miss you quite a lot, more than he would miss anyone else in fact and he didn't know why the hell he felt like that.

He leaned back on the couch and glanced over at the box and decided to open it. The box was a light brown, almost taupe, and it had a red ribbon tied into a bow on it, holding it closed. He smiled and carefully pulled the string on the end of the bow, opening it carefully. When the bow was undone, he took off the ribbon completely, sitting it down beside him and he took the lid off of the box, throwing it to the side.

Though the box looked small, it held a lot of pictures and each picture brought quite a few memories. Alex set the box down in his lap and pulled out a few photos, looking at the one on the top. It was of you and him when you were both very little, five at the most. You both were dressed up like you had just gotten married, his arm around your shoulder and a bouquet in your hand. Alex smiled to himself, remembering what he could of that day.

-

"Alright, Alex, smile for the camera," Penny, Alex's mom said, holding the camera up to her eye and she took the picture.

"Aw, you two look so adorable," your mom said.

You turned towards Alex. "You hear that, Alex, we're cute," you smiled at him.

-

He chuckled slightly and placed it down beside him, looking at the next one. It was taken on a polaroid camera and on the white gap it said 'Them. The two lovebirds(that aren't actually lovebirds)on a horse with Matt and Cookie on another one.' Alex remembered that day quite fondly. You all were fifteen and had decided to go horseback riding. He also remembered that Matt had fallen off his horse and it was awfully funny.

The next one hit him hard. It was on another polaroid and it was off you and him at his first ever gig with the Monkeys at The Grapes in Sheffield. You were kissing his cheek while he was acting like he was playing his guitar. The gap at the bottom read '"No kissing me, love." Yes, Al, good luck kiss.' He laughed and couldn't believe that he would say that to you. He loved whenever you gave him a good luck kiss, he never knew how or why he grew into it, but he did and he didn't mind it whatsoever.

He kept on flipping through the pictures, more and more memories coming back to him - and a something else but he had no idea what it was. He was feeling something that he couldn't quite describe. It was as if it was on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't figure it out.

Then, after looking through a few more pictures, he found something that made him realize something. It was you and him at a club in 2006 with different dates. You were with your, at the time, boyfriend and Alex was with his girlfriend at the time, Johanna Bennett. You were kissing your boyfriend and Alex was hugging Johanna. He remembered being angry in that moment. Not because he didn't want to be there, but because you were kissing your boyfriend and he was jealous, and wished that you hadn't had done that. He washed that it was him that you were kissing.

Then he knew what he felt. He loved you and not as a friend but, like a romantic relationship type of way. He looked up and away from the photos. He was supposed to leave tomorrow and he knew that he wouldn't get to see you for quite some time after that and he of course didn't want to tell you that he loved you over the phone for many reasons, so he called you.

-

Your phone rang as you walked into your house - it was Alex. You quickly answered and held the phone up to your ear. "Hey, Al. What's up?" he said, putting your handbag down and you took off your shoes.

"Uh, um, nothing, love. I just wanted to ... to tell you something," Alex said, nervous and you could hear that in the tone of his voice.

"Umm, okay. What is it?" you replied, walking into your kitchen. "Is it about those old photos I brought you?" you added.

"Well, um, yeah, kind of," Alex said.

"Okay, well then, what is it?" you asked him. It took him a moment before he decided to speak and you thought that he had hung up on you for a second. "Well, I found a picture of you, me, Johanna and one of your exes at a club in 2006. And in the picture you were, um-" you cut Alex off before he could finish.

"Oh, Is that the one where me and my ex were kissing. Sorry, I didn't mean to put that one in there," you said. Alex inhaled and exhaled deeply. You actually hadn't meant to put that in there, had always intended on throwing it away actually, but could bring yourself to do so, the memory of that night with Alex too much and you never wanted to get rid of a picture from that night, the only picture from that night if I may add.

"No, it's not that. Well, sort of. But, no it's just that as I was looking at it, it reminded me of how, I don't know, how jealous I was that night. And it was because I realized then that ... that I had feelings for you, but never wanted to believe it until now," Alex explained.

You went silent for a moment, had never expected Alex to say something like that, not ever in a million years. "I-If you don't feel the same about me, then I-I'm sorry," Alex said, about to hang up, but you stopped him.

"No, Alex, I-I like you too," you said nervously. "I have for a while now, actually. And I didn't tell you because I honestly didn't want to know if the feeling flew both ways."

You couldn't see it but you knew that Alex had this big grin plastered all over his face and he chuckled. "I-I'm 'appy about that, love," he said. Another moment of silence fell upon you both until Alex broke it. "Can I ask you something?" Alex said. You hummed in response.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked, crossing his fingers.

"A-Alex, of course I will," you said excitedly, practically jumping up and down with glee. Alex stood up from where he was sitting and jumped as well and you heard him say a quiet little 'yesss' and you laughed, smiling through the phone.

[usaigi]

Marc & Marlene

Lunar sys au character cards | Read all chapters on ao3

Marlene is loosely based on Marlene in the comics but only sorta. If you haven’t read The Moon Knows What I Cried For You, Marc met Marlene in high school and had a super co-dependent relationship, which ended messily.   

CW: reference to past suicide ideation

Marc:

Hey Marlene. It’s Marc.

Spector. Do you have any time soon to chat and catch up?

Marlene:

Sure. Are you still in London? What’s your time zone?

Marc:

Actually, I’m visiting my dad in Chicago until the end of this week

Marlene:

Oh. I’m in Chicago too atm visiting my brother. Want to come over for coffee? 

Marlene’s brother stayed in Chicago and inherited their family home, she tells him when she texts him the address. She had moved to Los Angeles and took her parents with her. The house is a decent size two-story red brick home with a nice backyard. Marc wonders if they still had that swing set in the backyard.  

“Marlene,” he says, instantly recognizing the woman standing in front of him. Years may have passed but he’d recognize those sharp eyes anywhere. Her face got a little slimmer, the dark circle under her eyes a little darker, her long dark hair is tied into a sleek pony, but it’s still Marlene. 

“Hi, Marc. Come inside,” she says, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. He follows her lead, passing the living room with family portraits hanging on the wall and floor scattered in toys–a stark contrast to his dad’s lifeless place–and into the dining room.  

“Is your brother home?” Marc asks, surprised at how quiet it is. 

“Nah, the whole family is out shopping for my nephew’s birthday. I didn’t join them because my son takes his nap around this time. Want some coffee? Tea?”

“Sure. Whatever you’re having” he says, taking a seat as Marlene preps a pot of coffee. “So ah… I didn’t know that we were still in contact.” Took him a bit (a lot) but he finally got Daniela to confess that she had a tradition of calling Marlene on their near-death anniversary. 

“What do you mean? We have a whole little thing where we call each and the other answers and says, ‘ope! You answered. That means you can’t kill yourself this year.'” She asks, squinting her eyes in confusion. 

“Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“I joined the military at seventeen, straight out of school. Got kicked out and I fell into a dark place. Really dark. I was going to end it all; I had no future, no family, nothing. I really was, I was going to do it, but then I blacked out. Next thing I know, I’m in some apartment in Washington Heights and a whole year passed. I blacked out for a full year and I had zero memory of what I did during that time. 

“Until then, I always thought it was normal to not remember everything. You know how in TV, characters would cut from one scene to the next, I thought life was supposed to be like that. Obviously, stuff happens in between but it wasn’t important so your brain would just filter it out. So I never really questioned why I didn’t remember going to school, or going to work, or buying groceries or whatever. Just figured it wasn’t ‘important to the plot.’ But a whole year. 

“Come to find out that in that year, we reunited and have been talking semi-regularly since?” He finished, finally noticing the cup of coffee in front of him. Cream and sugar beside him. Marlene just stared at him, perplexed, as if he was a complicated math problem for her to figure out. 

“Really?” is all she says at first. Marc simply nods. She takes a slip of her coffee, opening her mouth as if to say something before closing it again. Marc slips on his drink as she thinks of what to say. 

Finally, she gently asks, “I’m going to ask you something but I need to make sure you’re okay first?” Marc nods. “Have you been to a doctor?” He nods again. “And have you been diagnosed with something that makes sense?” 

“Yeah, dissociative identity disorder.”

“Oh– wait, was it because of your mom?” He doesn’t answer, letting the silence do the talking. Her eyes widened in horror before scrambling, “I am so sorry, I swear I didn’t know. I knew that she had problems but I didn’t realize… You’re dad just seemed so on top of it. And I remember my parents asked you about it once and you always said you were fine…. Whenever you had bruises you told us you got into a fight with the neighborhood punks. Wait, how did none of the doctors or counselors or social workers notice?”

“DID is a survival tactic, I guess my brain decided it would be better if I didn’t know back then. I was also incredibly distrustful of adults so I refused to talk to anyone.”

The air is still, neither of them saying anything. Then, Marlene gets up to get something from the kitchen. The places a box of cookies in front of him, tapping on the circled ‘K’ on the label, giving him an apologetic smile. 

“It’s kosher,” he smiles slightly, appreciating the gesture. They both sip their coffee for a minute, taking a couple of bites of cookies.

“Ok I’m guessing that year in New York you didn’t front and that’s why you don’t remember?” Marlene asks and Marc nods in response. At that, her face relaxes slightly and says, “actually, that makes a lot of sense.”

“What do you mean?” he asks, not expecting her to understand how… easily, quickly. Layla had accused him of acting, why isn’t she? 

“Are you Marc? And you're the host?” he nods for the dozenth time. “When you wanted to be an archeologist, was that a different alter?” he nods. “So when I told you I liked when you were sweet and nice I was actually saying I like your alter more? Wow, I was such a bitch. I am so sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, everyone likes Steven more,” he says, pressing his lips together. Steven can talk about his feelings, he knows how to carry a conversation, he has normal hobbies. Everything Marc can’t do.  

“That’s not true, I like all of you. Even if you don’t remember me, you’re still my friend and I care about all of you. Sweet nerdy Steven and brave kind Marc.” She’s lying, he knows. He still smiles because it’s a sweet lie. “So Steven is the archeologist. Is there one that mostly speaks Spanish? Like a tough protective one?”

“That’s Jake.” 

“He was the one in New York?” Marc nods. “But sometimes it was different. Wait just to be clear, you don’t remember anything from New York?” Marc shakes his head. “Ok so basically, I was going through a divorce and you offered me a place to stay while we were settling in court. Real gentleman, you went with me to file a restraining order and to all the lawyer meetings and all of that. I was so impressed because you were so grown up, like duh, you were but grown up in an ‘old-soul’ type of way. But then sometimes, you’d get a little sassy? Like, you’ve always been a little sassy but it was different. Like mean? But in a funny type of way? We’d go out for drinks and you were so good at figuring out guys' insecurities and you’d call them out. I used to joke that you have your tío mode and your bitchy sorority girl mode.”

“You weren’t far off…” He hesitates, not sure how much he wants to reveal. Daniela had already given him the go-ahead to mention her but still… Fuck it, she a part of him too. “Daniela. Her name is Daniela, she’s another part.”

“Marc, Steven, Jake, and Daniela?” She says, tapping her nails against the porcelain coffee cup. “The only one with a Spanish name y es la más tóxica? Marc, that’s some internalized racism,” she says in a condescending tone, shaking her head in disapproval. 

“Oh shut up. Jake’s name used to be Jacobo but he changed it at some point.” Apparently, Birdy started calling him Jake when they first met and he liked it. 

“Don’t be so serious, I’m just messing with you,” She laughs in response. “So what happened? You were in a bad place after the military and Jake and Daniela took over? Then what?”

“A lot of self-reflection. Finally had to come to terms that I wasn’t… normal. Then, I got a job as a contractor. Some security jobs. I didn’t actually know about Jake or Daniela until recently, I thought it was just Steven and Steven made himself a little life in New York for a year. And if I’d blackout, I just thought it was Steven. So I learned all my triggers, avoided them, and suppressed Steven as much as possible. Work out great for a couple of years.” Marlene squints her eyes, as if she doesn’t believe his statement. 

“Then what?” Marlene asks. 

“My mom died. And everything I worked so hard to build came crashing down. Suddenly, Steven has more control and he knows who I am and we’re both losing time. A whole mess.” Plus the whole thing with Harrow and Ammit but that’s not important. 

“Self-discovery is messy,” She smiles somberly, bringing up the cup to her lips. “But you seem like you’re doing better?”

“Yeah. Back in therapy. Not against my will this time,” even if it feels like it sometimes. “Actually dealing with my shit instead of burying them.”

“That’s good. I think it’s one of the hard things about mental illness, having to learn to live with it instead of suppressing it. How have you been otherwise? Mental illness aside?”

“Good. Married an amazing woman who still likes me despite everything. Got a cute dumb cat recently,” he says, pulling out his phone to show Marlene a picture that Steven took of Layla cuddling the fleabag, fraternizing with the enemy. 

“Wow, Marc. Wow. Way to rub it in that all my marriages have failed,” she scoffs, placing her hand on her collarbone. She breaks into laughter as soon as she sees the terrified expression on his face. “I’m joking! She’s very beautiful. The cat’s adorable too. I’m happy for you, you deserve to be loved. What’s her name? Where is she from?” 

“Layla, she’s Egyptian. And thank you.”  

“You guys thinking about having kids?” Marlene asks. Layla’s family asked. His dad had asked. Steven had asked. He gives them all a similar answer.  

“Nah.” 

“Shame. You and your wife would make a cute baby.” Marc has never given it much thought; he never imagines what their hypothetical baby would look like. A little boy with Layla’s soft smile, a little girl with her adorable curls. Nope. Never. 

“Yeah no. I would be a terrible dad.” 

“Why do you say that?” she asks curiously. 

“Be serious, Marlene. People like me shouldn’t–”

“People like you? It’s not like DID is genetic,” she cuts him off.

“It’s not just that, there’s other stuff that–”

“So people with mental illness? Or neurodivergent people? That’s pretty eugenic-y of you.” She sounds upset and this time Marc doesn’t think she’s joking. Fuck, why doesn’t he feel like he’s sixteen again and he forgot about their date?  

“No, it’s just that–”

“What are you trying to imply? Or did you forget I’m bipolar?” Fuck. Shit. Ahh. Steven, please help. Jake? Damn it. 

“No, no, I mean–” he looks away, anxiously gripping his cup with both hands. 

“Then what do you mean?” Her glare is like a magnifying glass, angling the sunbeam directly at him, making his skin burn. 

“I’m scared! That I'll end up like my mother. That my family is cursed to suffer and I can’t do that to a child,” he finally says, stumbling over his words. Marlene’s face softens at that. “My mom used to tell me how good I had it, how my upbringing was nothing compared to hers. Even if I give my kid a better life than I had, who's to say it would be good.”

“Your kids shouldn’t need to know how good they have, it should just be their normal. Having a good and safe home is not something a child needs to be grateful for. And Marc, everyone fears that they won’t be a good parent. I had a ‘good’ upbringing; my dad’s a renowned archeologist, my parents loved me, neither had problems with alcohol or anything, we were solidly middle class and you know how I ended up. I was so scared that I’d never be a good mom because of my shit. 

“But I created a support network, I took parenting classes, I worked on myself in therapy, and I cut everyone out who triggered me. I accepted that my diagnosis will always be a part of me and I need to learn to live with it. I am willing to continuously do the work to be the best mother I can be, to love my son, and to give him the best life.

“If you don’t want children, that’s fine. It’s not everyone. It's not a decision that should be taken lightly. But if deep down you want to be a dad and you’re just holding yourself back because you’re scared, work that out with your wife and in therapy. It is possible to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma.”

“How would I even do it with DID? What happens if I get triggered and someone who isn’t able to take care of baby fronts?” Marc couldn’t trust Daniela with a child. She’s only been hostile to them in the past but who’s to say she won’t see their child as an extension of them? Someone else she needs to punish. Or Mr. Knight? Marc doubts Mr. Knight has a parental bone anywhere beneath his three-piece suit. And Kid, how could he possibly trust a child to take care of another child? 

“That’s something to ask your therapist. Or actually, do you have any friends who are systems? You should see if there’s like a support group for systems. I’m sure some of them are parents, you could talk to them,” she says. “Raising a child when you’re mentally ill is extremely difficult but it is possible. Some dude I used to know used to try to tell me to be grateful for my bipolar and what it’s done for me. I remember telling him to fuck off, but maybe he did have a point. I knew I was suffering from postpartum depression because I’d experienced depression before so I knew how to ask for help. I know how to cope with high stress because I’ve been in therapy for almost two decades. I know I’ll never be perfect but I love my son so I’ll do everything to ensure he’s safe and happy.”

Marc doesn’t doubt a single word Marlene says; it’s something he was always jealous of. Her passion, her fiery loyalty, her refusal to take shit from anyone. 

“When did you get so mature?”

“Baby, I’m not sixteen anymore,” she teases. “But sometime after my second failed marriage and before pushing out a melón out of my concha .”

“Can I ask you something else?”

“No Marc, I won’t have a threeway with you and your wife, I’m a mother. But if you insi–”

“Marlene,” he groans. 

She snorts. “I’ll get you to laugh,” she says.

“Do you think we can be friends?” He did miss her. Her laugh, her drive. The way he could just talk to her without judgment or pity. 

“I hope so. I was already friends with one part of you. I don't see why I can’t be friends with you. Now that we’re both old and mentally stable,” Marlene jokes. 

“Mostly,” Marc says, crinkling his nose. Mental stability is on the incline but who’s the judge. And is she referring to his mental stability or are they being judged as a group? Because Marc doesn’t really know if that would up or decrease his score. 

They finish the coffee just before Marlene gets a notification on her phone. “Do you want to meet my son? He just woke up from his nap,” she asks. 

“Sure.”

After a few minutes, Marlene walks back down the stairs following the little boy with chubby little cheeks dotted with little dimples and the biggest chocolate brown eyes carrying a stuffed bear.

‘Awww a little baby. He’s precious,’ Steven coos, finally deciding to make his appearance. 

“Marc, this is Óscar. Saluda a tu tío Marc,” the little boy waves. 

“Hola chaparro ¿qué tal?” Marc asks him, crouching down to greet him. Baby Óscar just hands him the bear in response and Marlene laughs. 

[cuteykat]

OP: what if s/o is usually very affectionate but one day isn’t feeling good and isn’t affectionate at all. Monster trio edition!

Luffy: Luffy loves your hugs very much, he always hugging you back with a huge grin on his face to which you usually smile back. Today was different though, you didn’t give him a good morning kiss, no hug, not even a slight touch of your body. It made him wonder what was going on and didn’t completely notice at first that you were hanging out with anyone. After asking his crew Nami stated that when you first woke up it you looked very sad but tried to push it aside. Luffy goes to look for you and finds you in the aquarium all rolled up in the blankets on the couch watching the fish and mumbling to yourself. Luffy runs over and hugs you immediately startling you before you try to hide your face as tears run down your face.

“ (name) what’s wrong?” He was completely worried for you

“ Do I ever bother you Luffy? I worry that I bother you and everyone else on the ship. I feel like a bother and I wonder if I’m too clingy and needy and-and” you had tears running down your face holding onto the man

Luffy hugs you tightly immediately “ Why would you ever think that (name)? We all love you very much, me more than everyone else and I love who you are! I love when you hug me! I love you even more than meat!”

You look at him and nod your head, usually, someone saying they love you more the meat isn’t much but for Luffy, it’s pretty big and makes you smile and let out a small giggle hugging him tightly

“ I love you so much Luffy”

“ I love you too (name)! Shishishi”

Sanji: this morning during breakfast you didn’t look alike yourself, you smiled but to him, it was obvious that it wasn’t genuine. Even after everyone had eaten and left you didn’t go over to him and hug him, not even hold his hand and he knew something was wrong and stopped what he was doing to walk over to you

“What’s wrong darling?” He asks to which you usually smile and blush at the nicknames but you didn’t even lookup. You rubbed your eyes putting your head on the table

“ sweeti-“

“ Am I Ugly Sanji? I don’t feel beautiful like everyone else, I feel like a piece of trash on the side of the street and I feel like you could find someone way more beautiful than me. I don’t understand” you were crying holding your face

Sanji immediately pulled you into a hug “ shhh it’s okay” he starts to pet the back of your head and rub your back “ Your beautiful, extravagant, stunning. You like the brightest star in the solar system. You so amazing” he kisses your forehead before lightly lifting your chin

“ D-Do you mean it Sanji?” You look at him having your eyes be red from crying

“ Of course my love” he kisses your forehead again before going to your left cheek then your right and a light kiss on your lips “ To anyone who says otherwise I’ll kill them”

You nod your head and hug him tightly and cling to him not wanting him to get up to finish the dishes and he understands staying with you longer.

Zoro: Zoro isn’t usually one for PDA unless they are alone or you are guiding him by holding his hand so he doesn’t get lost. So he doesn’t pick up why you are feeling sad. He notices you are but can’t exactly pinpoint why until your both alone when you are both training. Usually, you would give him a kiss on the cheek or even a high five being smiling but during your training, you distracted and decides to ask what’s going on

“ Hey (name) why are you complicated distracted?” You don’t answer him to which he raised his voice and ask again

“ I DON'T KNOW!” You lash out which is very very rare until your hold your face and apologize “ S-sorry!” You try to hold back the tears “ I-I should go” and before you could leave Zoro grabs your hand and looks at you

“ I know something is wrong. Could you please tell me so I can know”

You start to cry having tears down your face biting your lip so hard it almost bleeds “ Am I too needy Zoro? Am I clingy? Annoying? Childish? Too affectionate? Bothersome?” You go to continue but Zoro immediately hugs you knowing you needed a hug to which you start to bawl your eyes and try not to cling to hin

“ You can hug me (name)” to which you cling to him putting your face into his chest still crying

“ I don’t think your any of those things and so what if you were clingy or childish or any of those things. I wouldn’t care. I love you for who you are. I-I don’t like to admit it but I do like it when you hug me, even if it’s in front of everyone” his face turns a bright red before trapping you completely in his arms “ It may not look like it and I may not be able to always be able to tell you how I feel, I’ve been told I don’t say it enough but I love you so much. To swordsmen who should never let anyone see their back, I would let you hold onto it, see the skin and allow your hands to roam it. I love you”

You look at him “ I love you too! I’m sorry for lashing out” your tears start to slow down and you roam your hands on his back to which he hums and you stay hugging for a while and blushes when the crew notices, usually he would have pulled you off but knowing you needed this and he secretly liked it, he let it slide it this once.

Thank you for reading this! I didn’t have any request and I wanted to write! Again sorry if this is a bit OOC!

[fwaysims]

Read the entire posts by ChippedSims, @luthsthings​ and @myshunosun! Everyone! Players, creators, downloaders, everybody! Sims 1, Sims 2, Sims 3, Sims 4, Sims 5, Sims 678910. 

I’m in my soapbox era: 

The OP can also be seen as a cautionary tale for creators about setting boundaries in this community. Do it for your sanity. Take breaks if you have to. Slip away for a little bit, and enjoy doing something else, do something for yourself. Disable anon asks. The followers who know your Simblr is a safe space can continue to send asks.

If you, as a downloader, get mad, cop an attitude, or send threats (PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT) because something isn’t working: it’s uncalled for, gross, and it’s pitifully shameful. Ask yourself this before getting mad or copping an attitude: Did you, the downloader, take the time to make it? Most likely not, you probably spent however long it takes your internet connection to download it and place it in your downloads folder, which is probably significantly less time than it took the creator to make the download. Did you pay for it? You probably shouldn’t have, and that’s another subject for another time.  

However, a lot of the stuff you get in the form of CC and mods should by default be considered experimental, even if there were many hours of gameplay testing. Bugs and glitches are going to happen! 

If someone tells you something isn’t working for them, try and fix it when you can, but don’t feel obligated to drop everything for that one person. The players have two choices in the interim: take out the thing that’s not working, or continue to have it in their game. Better yet a third choice: start reading tutorials on the category of item that’s “broken.” Downloaders/players, if something is broken or seems that way, default to taking it out. Wait until an update pops up, it may contain what’s been breaking your game.

We can only do so much with help from our fellow creators. We may not get to see them physically for help (which may be best for demonstration), but we make it a group effort to get something working. If everyone is stumped, then it’s time to take a break from that object, and come back to it another time. Decide what you want to do with the item/object/mod/clothing and briefly explain what’s going on. 

If you get suggestions from the community, leave it at that: suggestions. If it sounds good to you and you want to go for it, then go for it. If not, you can just say no. Just say no! If it’s in the form of an ask on Tumblr, put it out there in the community, someone may be interested in picking it up. :)

With all that said, creators: it’s okay to take breaks. It’s okay to not fix that thing that’s broken in an instant. Maybe just post or edit something that’s saying “hey such and such is wonky.” It’s okay to not drop everything for one person, though it feels like a lot of pressure when multiple people come at you. You’ll get to it when you get to it. You’re not obligated to do anything. 

Downloaders, especially like the ones who threatened ChippedSims: show some grace when something isn’t working. The person on the other side of that screen is a human, just like you. If you are a downloader like the one who threatened ChippedSims: do better.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 

ChippedSim's post about about the Happy Hoppers mod, Simmers, and the modding experience is a must-read for Simmers. Go read it. Do that. NOW.

And don't be the Simmer who pushes modders. Not even if you're using your "nice" voice.

[sapphos-darlings]

is there a way to be somewhat sure of what your sexuality is when you haven't actually been in a relationship with anyone yet?

unfortunately i spent quite a good part of my teens on the internet and generally stuck inside, due to the pandemic and mental health issues, so again unfortunately i am quite terminally online lol.

when i was younger and to this day i spent a lot of time consuming/reading about lgbt related topics, getting somewhat involved in some online communities, etc, so i'm afraid that spending so much time on that during my formative years may have caused me to unconsciously fabricate my attraction to women as a way to feel included. i feel like i can't trust my feelings, bc how can i know if they're genuine or products of me essentially psy-oping myself into trying to be something i'm not?

i understand that i should probably give it time, let real experiencies with real people tell, but this uncertainty kills me because this is incredibly important to my life. i need to know if i'll ever have to come out to my parents, whether i'll live a "normative" (for the lack of a better word) life or not, whether all that time i spent was me finding myself or invading spaces never meant for me as a confused teen.

really sorry for the long rambly ask and the personal stuff, i wish i could simplify it but idk how to. thank you in advance, and a good day/night to the mods <3

Hey there!

First off - you haven't been invading spaces, or taking up resources, or fabricating anything. Finding yourself is a key part of one's teen years, and questioning people have always walked hand in hand with the LGBT community. It's okay to question! None of us would be here if we hadn't. Now, that said, I think you're getting up on the wrong foot here.

Let's take a person in a friend group that loves chocolate ice cream. The person walking in hasn't made up their mind about chocolate ice cream, but suddenly, it's the talk of the town. Everyone around them is talking about chocolate ice cream and the new kinds of chocolate ice cream the shop in town sells, like, oh my god did you try out the flavour with hazelnuts in it?? And this person goes with their friend group to have ice creams at the shop, and of course they try out the chocolate ice cream, since it's been hyped so much.

Now... how do you feel, as the friend who tried out the chocolate ice cream? Did you hate it, or just find it kind of nasty, but because your friends loved it you figured it's kind of part of the experience, that that's part of the appeal of chocolate ice cream that it kind of feels foreign to be eating it, and you'd rather be having mint? Or did you go, wow, this is actually pretty good, wow, I like this ice cream, if I came here all on my own I might order this again? Or would you, coming to the shop alone, only buy that ice cream because you feel that your friends might find it weird if you didn't buy chocolate ice cream?

See, you can't really lie to yourself about what you like. There's an instinctive reaction of oh, god that happens one way or the other when you're tasting something. If you dig women, and feel fuzzy and excited at the thought of women, and like thinking of women and daydreaming about women, and you find yourself drawn to women in media and around you, going, "wow she's so pretty", maybe even "wow I'd like to kiss her", or "I'd love to wake up in the morning to have her sitting in my kitchen like she belongs there", the chances are that this is just who you are, and this is natural to you. If your gut reaction is more along the line of... well, women are pretty, sure, but I don't have any particular interest in touching them or being close to them, and the thought of them doesn't really make me feel any way in particular, it's all just, meh, whatever, then you probably aren't interested in women. And, of course, if you think about women and go, "good lord this is kind of gross, I'm gonna think about something else now", that's a good sign that you're really not attracted to women at all.

You don't need to try people out like food to know that you like them, actually. People are more like shoes - even if one pair doesn't fit you, you already know by the looks of it that you like them. Like, wow, this pair feels like shit when I'm wearing it, but I love the looks of it, so I'm going to keep looking for ones like these that actually fit me. Similarly, as you grow and age, you might come to decide that the type of shoes you liked before is past you now, and you're moving on to a different look next. It's similar with people.

Most importantly: if you're expecting a grand revelation upon entering a relationship with someone, you probably won't find it there. Attraction, or lack thereof, predates official statements. If you enter a relationship with someone you don't feel a particular way about before, you'll continue feeling that way after, and at worst because you didn't really care, all that added expectation will just make you aversed to them and the relationship as a whole. Sex with someone you're not sure about won't give you a big revelation, aside from whether you like or don't like or want sex with that particular person. Interest, attraction, is an innate experience, not an external one. So you can find yourself sitting inside in front of your screen all your life the same you can find yourself out there in the world, making mistakes with real people while you try to read your own inner dialogue. Neither path guarantees that you'll end up on the right track.

Finally - whether you have to worry about coming out tomorrow, as important as it feels to you to feel secure in your life today, is actually not important. You can work towards making it a possibility, making it safer, by making clear to the people around you that you support and embrace LGBT rights and are open to these experiences. You can work towards better legislation, safety and security for LGBT people now, so if you have to join the ranks tomorrow, it'll be a world in which you feel more comfortable doing so then. But right now, there's no foolproof, fast track way to figure yourself out. We're on this journey our whole lives, and sometimes hearing your inner voice and understanding your feelings takes a long time. You can't hurry up your own development, your own life experience. It all comes to you with time.