#you made a public group effort feel like they need to protect itself

[sleepiest-ghostie]

the ddos attack on ao3 making them finally set up security is like being the person to make your public library put up cameras inside

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for accidentally starting an apocalyptic-like event to get back at my friends?

I’m aware the title sounds bad, but you don’t know my half of the story yet. I (M, Old man coded) used to be in an adventuring group with my friends, who I will call G (M, Ageless), S (M, Ageless), M (M, Ageless) and E (F, Ageless). We traveled all across the world, even into different dimensions! One day, we sent out on a quest to kill a dragon allegedly tormenting another dimension (the inhabitants seemed very neutral on their whole predicament). We eventually defeated the dragon but not by…conventional means. E invented a device that would allow us, among other things, to delete the dragon from existence. Seems weird but we rolled with it. But then, days later, I find out that all of my friends were planning to lie to the general public, saying that we bravely slayed the dragon in a combined effort with our super cool combat abilities! I was angry. I rightfully complained to them but they kicked me out of the group and erased my entire existence from their story in response! I was furious! They ended up becoming extremely famous off of their lies, three of them even going on to found towns all across the world. They were regarded as “heroes” and “living legends”. I, of course, became extremely resentful of them and writhed in my anger, so much so that I began to devise a plan. I would created a creature with the device E had made and sic it on a crowd of people at a convention in G’s town. I took some precautions, of course. The device allowed me to have full control over the creature and, in case of something going totally, horribly wrong, I crafted an elixir to immediately stop it. Everything was going according to plan. I scammed my way into getting all the ingredients I needed, built an evil lair underneath the main stage of the convention, and practice my grand speech to that bastard! That was until a band of idiot, naive fools (M, M, F, F, X, Young people coded) snuck into my evil lab and stole the elixir and replaced it with a fake bottle!! Apparently they were mad about me scamming their friend or whatever. Anyways, I sicced another creature on them and made my way up to the main stage, where G was having a QnA panel. I made my grand speech, brought my creation to life and continued on with my plan. G was standing there like a coward, barely doing anything as people fled in horror. After a while, I decided I had humiliated him enough and ordered my creature to retreat. But the creature refused and started mutating right before my eyes. I told it to retreat again, thinking it didn’t hear me, before going for my emergency elixir. But, as mentioned before, one of the idiots swapped it with a fake bottle and I didn’t notice because I wasn’t expecting them to do something so greedy and stupid. I threw the bottle at the creature  and, surprise surprise, it did nothing! One of the other idiots still had the real thing on their hand but, at that point, the creature had too much time to react and managed to protect itself from the elixir’s effects. It began to mutate into this giant, three headed monster and started sucking people inside of itself with multiple tractor beams. I had no idea it could even do that, mind you!

Fortunately, none of the people inside the monster were seriously hurt and the whole ordeal was dealt with. The only lasting effects of the monster’s attack were some major property damage and the death of one of my friends and one of the idiots’ pet. The truth had a 50/50 chance of being revealed to the public and I was forgiven for my crimes and invited to live amongst the townsfolk in G’s town.

Do I regret my actions? Everyday, yes. Would I have done them if I knew what it would lead to? Absolutely not. I’m trying my best to better myself now and open up to a few of the aforementioned idiots, but I can’t stop myself from feeling exceptional amounts of guilt for everything. So, AITA?

[iuteamstarcandy]

[INTERVIEW] 230922 IU in Elle Korea Oct Issue (Part 2 of 2)

Q: I really do see you repaying others for the love that you have received. Through “IU’s Palette” (shortened as “Palette” below), you’ve been actively communicating with and cheering on girl group juniors like ITZY, New Jeans and so on. Do you feel envious or get curious about the life of a girl group member sometimes?

I do feel envious when I see how they are witnesses for each other’s growth and can share moments of glory like when they win awards. Certainly, I think it’s tiring for them too. The girl group friends I’ve met on “Palette” are all really mature and I’m grateful for the healthy energy that we send to each other. Rather than as a senior, I try my best to show them how I feel as a fan or average person on the streets — things like how much positive strength they give many people as artists, or how much energy I have gained in my life from listening to their music.

Q: You seem to have carved your identity as an emcee through “Palette”. What’s the greatest thing you have gained through this new role?

The main highlight for “Palette” is switching songs (TL note: Singing each other’s songs in one’s own style) That, in itself, is an expression of respect, that “I like your music, so I’ve tried interpreting it in my own style like this.” I’m really really grateful that my guests put in great effort to cover my songs. Singing a song cover is something that I do while practising great caution, because of the worry that I might ruin the song, so it’s not something I do that often.

Q: What do you mean you worry that you might ruin the song?

Yeah, that’s right! If I sing a song that I like, what if I like it less as a result? Of course I have such feelings.

Q: During the Kim Sejeong episode, she had many thoughts about the feeling of passionately liking someone as well as cherishing her own songs while singing them. How much do you like your own songs?

It was an episode that made me think a lot too. For someone who was influenced by my music from a young age and dreamed of becoming a singer, to show me that she likes me, that really gave me strength and the professionalism she displayed when sharing her personal stories and the pride she has in her own songs made her look really cool. As always, I’m sitting on the fence about this. There’s a side of me that loves my songs and thinks that my songs are the best and yet, innately, there’s a side of me that can’t help being critical of myself. Nonetheless, I think self-objectification and having a sense of balance are important. I don’t think I will lean towards either side in the future either.

Q: In your journey of 15 years, I think you would have been very much influenced by the self-awareness that the way your fans consistently support and love you is by treating you like a young female artist. There is a collective awareness that they should protect you from excessive criticism and feedback right?

Having worked throughout my teens and 20s and now in my 30s, certainly the way we work has changed, but I also sensed that the way the general public views celebrities has changed a lot. There is a social atmosphere that we shouldn’t ignore anybody’s opinion as well as the attitude that we should respect and accept even a young celebrity for who he or she is. There are still areas that need improvement, but I think there are more people now who agree that no one should just be hated. Every now and then, I’m touched to see how perspectives have changed.

[TL note: IU previously shared how she was called a pig and booed by the audience when she performed her Mia debut stage at the age of 16.]

Q: Even if you believe that ‘love will conquer all’, you will still be receiving explicit and undying hate. You’re dealing with the hate firmly?

I need to deal with this in separate ways. Some of this is really explicit hate. That’s called an opinion and shouldn’t be lumped together with the feedback that the general public sends me. I think there’s a need to draw a line to clearly and firmly differentiate the two.

Q: During your early days when you made your debut, you said you were afraid of receiving compliments like “you’re doing a good job given your age”. How do you feel about that now? Do you think you’ve become someone who does a good job irregardless of your age?

Having lived through my life so far, I think I’ve found the age that suits me best. In my teens and 20s, I was under pressure to show people an image of myself that matches the impression they have of someone that age. They looked forward to a much livelier and lovelier younger sister sort of image from me than I had the energy to pull off. Actually, at that age I was full of self-hatred and had a pessimistic world-view…

Q: Isn’t that what being a teen is like?

That’s right! That’s ‘real’. (TL note: The irony here that IU’s Real album was not the real IU.) Now even if I speak in my original tone, people won’t ask me, “IU, are you in a bad mood?” When I was young (TL note: younger), I would always have to speak in a tone 3 keys higher. Also, now that I’ve been in the industry for a long time, I get the sense that people no longer observe closely and wonder, ‘what stunt is she going to pull this time?’ They just listen to my music and accept my natural and familiar presence to receive the energy that they can receive from me. I’m grateful for that and I like it. I really like how I just have to think about how to show my thoughts through my music.

Q: You’re aware that you’re still young right?

If I were to have a goal, it would be to hear people say, “Wah, that grandmother is still doing a good job” when I am 75 or 80 years old. Since I heard people saying, “You’re doing a good job given your age” in my teens (laughs). That’s a big change for me. I used to think that when I get older, I would be doing something different, but currently, I’m confident that I’ll love my job for a long time.

Q: By the way, you wore the marshmallow suit and went to your 15th debut anniversary exhibition. Do you think your fans really didn’t recognise you? Or were they just pretending?

Yes! If they were just pretending, I would feel very sorry. How considerate they would have been, to pretend that they didn’t recognise me.. But I think they really didn’t know. I really don’t look good in the marshmallow suit. I’m the only short and ugly marshmallow we ever had (laughs).

Translated by IUteamstarcandy

[chill-pills-yandere-haven]

Dreams of Coffee and K-pop pt.2

Pt.1

An: I found the emoji!

Tw: yandere, implied murderous intent

Disclaimer: Yanderes are abusive, this is not love.

Art cred: Kackaorz1 on Twitter

It was the day of the concert. You had been listening to the 4NEMO music that your friend had been recommending you and had gotten quite familiar with it. Now, you were dressed in your favourite outfit, ready to attend the concert with your best friend. It was two hours before the concert started, but Venti advised you to come early so you and your friend could hang out with them and watch them warm-up. 4NEMO had gotten closer to you in the time before the concert. The boys texted you constantly and you got attached, welcoming them into your tight little circle of trust. You even all had a group chat with just you and the boys. They proved to be a pleasant way for you to blow off steam from your classes and relax so you welcomed them. Just a week after you all had met, 4NEMO had a new hit album called "Coffee Dream". It had become your new favourite album from them, containing all of the things you loved in music. Almost as though it was made with you in mind. You even set your ringtone to the instrumental of one of the album's songs. A beep resounded from your phone as you looked yourself over in the mirror. A text from Venti, " Hey cutie, just wondering if you need a ride to the concert, I'd be happy to give you a ride!" The nickname 'Cutie' had been something that sort of just happened, no inside joke, just Venti teasing you. You smile and chuckle a bit then answer him. "Yeah sure, I'm already ready so you can come now and I'm sure that they're ready too so you can pick us up now." Five minutes later you received another text telling you that Venti was now at your apartment. Making sure to fix your hair, you went outside. Outside was a black limousine waiting for you. "Get in, cutie! The others are starting warmups!" Venti called to you as you got in the limo, admiring the interior of the vehicle. Vent pulled you to his side, thighs touching. You were confused at his actions but then Venti slung his arm around your shoulder and explained. "Well we've got to make sense for your friend, right? Ehe." He giggled at the end. In return, you shrugged but it did make sense so you didn't mind. Plus, this was Venti, he's always like this. Once you got to your friend's house you saw them with a 4NEMO glow stick in hand and wearing a 4NEMO tee with the group's logo on it. "Hey, bestie! And Venti!" You laughed at the stupid nickname and replied. "Ok, you know you are my best friend and I love you platonically, and that I would die for you if necessary, but do not call me bestie. You can call me anything else, hell I'd even prefer if you called me your 'stupid butt-kicking partner in arson,' than whatever that was. Now, let's pretend that never happened and erase that from our memories. 'Kay?" This was just harmless teasing as you two had done much more stupid things and had many more inside jokes that no one except for you two knew about. "Aye aye, captain!" You talked about random subjects as the car ride went on. And Venti held onto you the whole way, almost as if he thought you might disappear. Maybe even a bit more than usual. Once you got to where the concert would take place, Venti escorted you both to the private room where the boys were practicing. "Hey, guys, I brought a little something!" Venti called to the other 4NEMO members, a hand on your shoulder tugging you to him. All the group looked up from what they were doing. From Kazuha trying out different chords on the electronic piano to xiao going over some dance moves that you hadn't seen yet, to Aether doing vocal exercises. Aether and Kazuha meeting you with soft smiles. Xiao looking away from you after he met your eyes. "So that's what you went off to do, and I almost thought you were trying to skip out on practice." Xiao retorted. "Well it is nice to have you here with us, and you too." Aether addressed you and your friend. It was surprisingly relaxing watching them warm-up for the concert. The practice was flawless, clear that everyone had already gotten everything down to the most minuscule detail. "4NEMO, you ready? Shows about to

begin." One of their workers called, you fairly remember her name being Rika or something along those lines. The boys nodded already dressed in their beautiful yet casual costumes. "Wooh! Go 4NEMO!" You called to them as you and your friend headed for where the audience had already situated itself. (On the other side) That past week, they had been almost three times more productive with you as their inspiration. Starting and releasing a new album dedicated to you in just a week. With you on their brains, inspiration was abundant. They were more devoted to you than even some of their superfans, Kazuha even stalking your social media in secret so he could make sure that his next compositions were to your taste. 4NEMO had been trying to express their love for you in the clearest yet unsuspicious way they could. Even referencing the day you met with the album. Nevertheless, you seemed to be only interested in friendship. No matter, everything would go their way in the end. Venti had put in so much effort to have you by his side, even if it was for just before the concert. Having to sneak away from the group without being noticed to go get you, paying the limo driver extra as he was only supposed to have driven 4NEMO there. Even holding back what we wanted to say to make you ditch that lousy friend of yours. Just for you to voice your feelings of devotion for them while he was in the same car!? So oblivious, so innocent, he had to protect you. The other boys were also surprised to see you but welcomed your presence. They all thought you would only show up at the concert, not before. But they all loved to indulge in you, so no one really minded Venti's little stunt. 4NEMO appeared on the stage. Smiling at the crowd with meaningless movie star smiles. At everyone except for you of course. All their eyes scoured the crowd for you, happy to see that you were close to the stage. Close enough, to tempt them into pulling you up to be with them. But, they had an image to uphold. So they held off on the longing looks at you and just focused on impressing you. "Hey, guys! Who's ready for a 4NEMO concert!?" Aether grinned and asked the crowd? The audience wooed back, even you, something the boys genuinely smiled at. "Well then, we've ought to get this party started!" Venti cried as the first song started. The boys knew that this had been your first concert as you preferred more quiet, secluded ways to spend your time while your friend was the one dragging you to interact with the outside world. And they were determined to make it special. Make this day the one that makes you as head over heels in love with them as they are. They started with a fast fan favourite, the one that you had as your ringtone. The one they created as a way to only express a fraction of the passion they felt for you. Xiao moved beautifully and elegantly as he sang. Venti hit a flawless high note that even most female singers couldn't reach. Kazuha harmonized with them in such a beautiful way that it could take one's breath away, rapping clearly and rapidly. Aether was the one who pulled it all together, he was the leader after all. 4NEMO was pleased to find that you were enjoying the change of environment. Moving your head and singing along with some of the songs you knew. Just one small problem. Though it was an irritation, the boys kept up in the perfect way only they could achieve. The problem was that you just had to bring your friend with you, Venti told the others what he had heard in the car, about how you would even die for them. And they just had to separate you two, it was too much jealousy to handle. It drove them even further, made them crave your praise even more. Even just a small compliment would suffice. So they worked their hardest at this concert. Making sure you have the time of your life. The concert was finally over and now you could be reunited with the boys. They swarmed around you once you had arrived at their private room. Asking you how the experience was and was delighted that you said that it was "absolutely

surreal" and that you loved it. It might not have been a direct 'I love you.' But it would work for now. Though they couldn't be with you in public due to their status, they would still have you. They would still make you theirs. They would remove anyone to make that happen. And it seemed like your friend was going to be the first.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

why does jean warn up to mc so quickly? ikevamp makes it clear that jean is a pretty reserved person and doesn't open up or let people in easily but he seems to let mc in quite quickly and it confuses me quite a bit.

Oh boy, where to begin with this one.

Well, I have a lot of Feelings^TM about this, but I'll try to be concise. Essentially, I think Jeanne doesn't recover in the other routes--or the general storyline--largely because he's just a lot to unpack narratively speaking. And without some pretty direct intervention, he has a hard time healing. MC’s direct intervention was meaningful because it was focused, consistent, and adapted to Jeanne’s specific needs. She also doesn’t make light of his experiences which is key; she fully understands that she can’t fathom what he’s been through. There is a very weighty respect and acknowledgement, a seriousness with which she treats his wounds that’s important.

It’s easy to make this a “why is MC nOt LiKe ThE oThEr GiRlS” but honestly that’s just not the sense I get when I look at all the information available to us. 

That being said, I also just feel like every person's recovery from traumatic events doesn't really look the same? I mean Leonardo’s cptsd isn’t going to operate the same way Jeanne’s wartime/Inquisition cptsd is going to operate. Some people require very individualized healing, others will often require a large scale group effort to lift them up.

Typically people don't ever just get over what happened to them and never worry about it again, either. It's usually a process of coping; the hope is that with time you find healthy ways to deal with grief and move forward. Therapists aren't magicians, they just help people process painful experiences/thoughts. It's honestly up to individuals to find meaningful ways to implement these tactics. 

Tl; dr: My contention is that Jeanne doesn’t open up or choose to stay alive because MC magically heals him, rather his recovery is a convergence of many people’s efforts and hopes that he stays alive. Gilles (he insists that Jeanne must live, asks him to promise), MC (affirms and bolsters that promise), Comte (makes a second life and recovery possible)--and in no small measure Mozart and Napoleon--all make an active effort to buoy him. As people often say, it takes a village to raise a child.

While Jeanne seems to respond most powerfully to MC’s attempts, it feels more like a product of chemistry/compatibility than it does a random cop out. There is no insinuation that only romantic love can heal; after all, MC gets close to him without any romantic intentions at first. They’re just good friends? It’s more that their feelings simply moved in a different direction after a point, which doesn’t necessarily happen all the time. Jeanne is also incredibly moved by Mozart’s love for him as a friend, Comte’s love for him as a father, and even Gilles’ love as a comrade to an extent. If anything, without their input Jeanne’s capacity for romantic love would be questionable at best.

Now, because I can never for the life of me stop analyzing, I have a more large scale outline of my thoughts below. Spoilers for Jeanne’s route:

If we look at Jeanne's life history, he has pretty specific trauma. Most of the harm he endured was a direct result of human rights violations after the war itself. He didn't enjoy fighting and killing people, but he's also very much a man that sees the reality of his position: it's either kill or be killed. His entire goal was to defeat the enemy as efficiently as possible in the hopes of ending conflict, and with his enormous resolve turns the tide. He had no innate interest in inflicting harm, or lack of control when engaging. He isn't pathological about it, and doesn’t dehumanize the other side. He was more "this was an act of necessity, but those are still human beings." So as far as I can tell he has a very strong moral compass and sense of duty, he doesn't show much delusion/confusion in that regard. (Also evident in his conversations with the young orphan boy.) Furthermore, he has been shown to have a sense of humor--cracking jokes with Gilles and boosting morale for his fellow soldiers.

His childhood abandonment is significant (he left his home because he was "not an adequate farmhand and they had no ability to feed all their children") but I don't know if I would consider it a huge trauma point for him. It seems as though he deemed it an act of necessity--not spite. It was simply the way of things, and he couldn't help his wiry constitution. You'd be surprised how common that was once upon a time, tbh... While it's certainly not right or fair, it does appear that in his perception it was the choice he made and he moved on after he became a soldier. Just focusing on what he could do, rather than everything he lacked. For people in his position, they often feel it is useless to linger on what should have been. There’s no time to linger or doubt, life hangs in the balance.

That leaves us with his time under the Inquisition, just before he was slated to be burned alive. I think this is the keystone trauma point for him, because there are a lot of moving parts to his powerlessness here. The first part is that his entire life's mission--ending the war so that people would no longer have to die and/or starve as a result of senseless violence--was just sabotaged. All those years of doing things he never wanted to do (wartime violence) and being forced to leave his family to ensure they didn't all starve, all of it treated like some kind of joke. Like he didn't sacrifice years of his life and sanity to protect a people who were happy to call him a monster and watch him burn alive. The second part is the overt gaslighting and rewriting of Jeanne's personal history (and overall French public perception) for the sake of the King's political agenda. To call him a treasonous danger to the country when he was once lauded a hero. The third portion is the actual physical helplessness of being arrested, starved, and continuously maimed for no reason beyond pure malice. While it's never right to do that to any human being, this was done to a man who prided himself on his stalwart moral code. To abuse and torture him for something egregious that he would never do (at the risk of death) is just another slap in the face to everything he is and believes in.

I just feel like the context clarifies why that period of time would be the tipping point. His entire moral code and life’s work is being called into question and swept aside, as well as his agency? He believes very powerfully in a sense of right vs wrong, what's fair and what isn't fair. Somebody else deciding that for him--and deciding in a way that is openly unfair/incorrect--further makes him lose himself and his sense of reality. A person in that situation begins to doubt if they are good or bad. His belief in god all the more pressing; if he was a good person, why would fate bring him so much suffering? Honorable soldier or not, his blade has drawn so much blood...

People often reference his stilted social skills (and I am of the belief that he is on the autistic spectrum) as a reason why he is so "people-adverse" but tbh? I don't agree. His memories before the onset of this trauma reveal that he was actually a very warm person, and that people were more than willing to fight under his banner. He had friends, and he had comrades--his country loved him. He was the picture of well-meaning civic duty. Just because he doesn’t integrate smoothly into larger social groups or adapt well to socially shifting circumstances, doesn’t mean he just hates people lmao. When people give him the space to exist within his comfort zone and don’t take advantage of him, he thrives. Compounded by that, we also have his actions in the present to further prove what is true and what isn't.

While he is stern with the orphan boy (I'm sorry I can't remember his name, damn it) there is no malice or cruelty in what he has to say. He doesn't punish the kid or do anything out of line. It may not be fair in terms of the adult level of discretion he asks of him, but the kid also didn't have a lot of options realistically speaking lmao. Same thing with MC, she and the orphan boy are nearly identical in how Jeanne treats them. He's a little rough, but the route reveals that his intentions are just a reflection of what he's been through. He truly believes that if a person isn't strong, they won't survive--because his entire life was a series of trying to be strong/reliable because nobody else would. There was nobody to protect him, and nobody to care for him went things went south. It was him and his sword against the world, and even his exceptional skill as a fighter did not protect him from the Inquisition's arbitrary torture. He has lived in a world where good acts can become absolutely meaningless, where following rules and helping people still gets you slaughtered. That's going to take a considerable toll on his mental health: where do you find the will to go on when the next second of your life could mean the devastation of everything that matters to you?

Spoilers: you don't. Or if you do, every minute of the day is a fight to stay alive. That is the point at which we meet Jeanne. Caught in the hellish whirlpool of wanting more, wanting better--but being terrified of the cost. The cost of hoping, only for his entire world to go up in flames again. It's not a small thing, in my view.

If you have any doubts as to whether or not that is the case, I direct you to literally every singular instance in which Jeanne's emotional sensibility goes visibly dark/south. When do these instances happen? When it rains, for one. And when Shakespeare deliberately starts pressing on his sensitivities: about the soldiers he was forced to kill, about the nation that spurned him, how he's truly "wicked" at heart and doesn't deserve to be happy--seconds before flames erupt for the festival. Does that really sound coincidental? I mean lmao. The rain is a painful reminder, but MC transforms that memory into something a little lighter with her bet. He has nothing to lose in her game, all she does is ask for time with him or offers him something if she loses. There's a playfulness there, a restoration of agency and ease that's invaluable to his recovery.

As for Shakespeare's deliberate retraumatization...I can't even begin to explain how damaging that event was. Shakespeare is undermining Jeanne's agency in that he--not unlike the corrupt monarch of Jeanne's era--is twisting Jeanne's beliefs to work against him. He knows full well that Jeanne doesn't feel like he deserves somebody so bright and understanding (we need to remember it's not really a luxury he's had much in life, especially after the war ended). He knows Jeanne has a tendency to impose that strict moral code on himself even more than he does on others. To reaffirm his every worst fear and lurking terror only throws Jeanne into a vicious downspiral. Jeanne doesn't reject MC out of disgust or hate. He rejects her because he literally cannot handle the concept of trying to be happy again, or of burdening her with his constant struggle to move on while he’s in the middle of a bad episode. He knows he won’t be able to stop reliving the past, that every second of his life and breath will be colored by his gruesome memories. He's trying as hard as he can to keep the intrusive thoughts quiet, to move on. But I'm not going to lie to any of you, that is incredibly difficult to do alone.

The next obvious question is, well why can't the other men help him? This isn't to say that they can't--we see how much solace Jeanne finds in Napoleon and Mozart. Even Isaac is gentle with the veteran. But there are limits to how much they can do. Napoleon is struggling with his own wartime trauma, and it's not identical to Jeanne's. Plus there’s a distinct difference in their sensibilities? Napoleon is the type to habitually seek comfort in helping others when he can't help himself, he's not as in tune with answering his own personal feelings and regulating them. (I mean just look at his new ES: he knows what he wants, but it takes a nudge from Isaac for him to go through with it.) He’s very communally reliant in ways Jeanne isn’t; Jeanne is a very private person, and typically prefers one on one from what I can tell.

Mozart is the definition of repression, and if you look at their interactions it's usually Jeanne that's smoothing over Mozart's rough edges. Mozart says as much himself: that he feels like a rotten friend because he knew Jeanne was struggling with a lot of intense trauma, but he didn't know how to unravel it without hurting him in the process. Mozart calls it personal cowardice, but honestly I just feel like they both had too much going on to be able to help each other effectively. (And Jeanne expresses this sentiment too? This idea that he's not angry with Mozart? He knows they're both carrying a lot, he's just touched Mozart cares about him in return.)

Okay, briefly unrelated, but like. Am I the only one that wheezes uncontrollably when Mozart is like "?????? Idk what it is about MC...I don't want her to be scared of me..." in his own main story in the baths. And Jeanne. IS TRYING SO HARD. NOT TO SPILL THE BEANS ABOUT HIM O B V I O U S L Y BEING IN LOVE. THE HILARITY I CAN'T DO THIS. Jeanne was like "yeah....yeah that's rough buddy.......[screams internally, give your boy time Jeanne he's fragile]"

Honestly? That's the thing about Jeanne too--he has incredible self-awareness and hyperarousal-related (I mean the PTSD kind, get your head out of the gutter) awareness to the people around him. He's very, very conscious of the fact that he is surrounded by geniuses when he can't even write his own name. Just because he has the fortitude not to lash out with his insecurities, doesn't mean he never feels stupid or inferior. And it doesn't help when there are people in the mansion who call him--a fucking war veteran from 500 YEARS AGO--nAiVe. He's not naive lmao. He just doesn't know how the world works so many years later, and it's a ridiculously steep learning curve? Leonardo and Comte are nearly 500 years old, but they lived throughout every hour of that time in a linear fashion. It is a big deal to be moved from 1430 to 1890 in the span of a second asynchronously, and then be expected to function without a hitch??? Given the circumstances he adapts well.

That atmosphere--this constant impatience with what he doesn’t understand, his inability to be caught up to speed quickly--is going to hinder his recovery lmao. He feels like a burden most of the time, and agency and freedom are crucial.

Another thing that occurs to me about the mansion's arrangement is that there is a power dynamic, just as any space with people in it has some level of hierarchy (unless you live with miraculously chill people). Jeanne is acutely aware that Comte is the most powerful being in that space, and he is not only hatefully angry at him--but likely afraid too. We have to remember that the biggest betrayal he witnessed in his life was at the hands of a monarch; it was the aristocracy that turned on him and erased the truth. Comte is openly a child that resulted from both that era and that type of lineage, I don't really blame Jeanne for being wary. He intimately knows how willing rich people are to throw normal folks under the bus to suit their ambitions/whims. Comte, while not deliberately threatening, also seems to be painfully aware of this impression he gives off. His "chad persona" as I've mentioned allows him to navigate his life in secret by necessity, but it’s actively damaging to his son. He can't reveal the truth because of Vlad's betrayal, and he's openly unsettled by what it could mean to be honest. Will they wonder about Vlad and find themselves ensnared under his mind control as Charles and Shakespeare are? Will Comte himself be subjected to the mortifying ordeal of being known only to lose them?? That's a risk he isn't willing to take--and that leaves him in a double bind.

What is it that they say, the truth will set you free? This is where MC and Comte come into enormous play when it comes to Jeanne's recovery. One thing to keep in mind is that most of the people in the mansion have their own traumas they're trying to carry, and I feel like a lot of them are unsure how to approach Jeanne. Or if they do, he's very guarded. It takes a lot of consistent effort to get through to him. What does MC do when Jeanne unleashes his harsh worldview on her? She's understandably frightened, but Jeanne isn't malicious (so she chases him around). In fact, he openly avoids and runs away from her--well aware that what he's done is wrong. If anything, he did it on purpose, bringing us right back to Shakespeare's verbal undoing; why does Jeanne attack her in the first place?

LMAO. He attacks her because she essentially says "oh thanks for helping me!" "I am not nice. Watch yourself." "But you seem like a nice guy to me?" "REEEEEE" Does the pattern become a little clearer? When people think kindly of him, his instinct is to shatter that illusion with an impulsive reprehensible act. When people think poorly of him or lash out, what does he do? When that orphan boy starts yelling and screaming, Jeanne is nothing but calm. He explains the situation, and offers the kid a choice, perfectly happy to be the bearer of bad news. This operates on many levels I’m sure, but I have a feeling it has something to do with him being hailed a saint and a war hero only to be tortured and branded a monstrosity (and he probably thinks being a vampire is doubly monstrous). He’s more comfortable being hated because he feels it’s what he deserves in a lot of ways.

Jeanne has a lot of internalized self-hatred because of what he's done, and because of how much harm was inflicted on him outside of his control (he's Catholic and he was tortured, come on this writes itself). If I'm honest, I think that's actually the greater part of why he hates Comte lmao. Comte refuses the very concept of being cruel no matter how much Jeanne lashes out. Sure he lectures him and scolds him, but he never actively limits what's important to him or controls or harms him. Comte fully realizes the tragedy of how Jeanne's life was used by a nation in dire straits, and knows he needs time and acceptance to heal. No matter how dismal or unhappy, Comte doesn't stop--he fully believes Jeanne should have time in his life where he can really live for himself for once. But therein lies the issue, Jeanne doesn't know how to live for himself.

Which brings me to how MC and Comte "heal" Jeanne. I feel like they give him the space he needs to recover, and that's what results in his gentled temperament and happiness. Remember that so much of his main story is MC endlessly chasing after Jeanne. No amounts of his hissing or running or threatening stops her. Even if his refusals are empty of real dislike, they're enough to deter most people. Not MC. She's able to see through to the depths of who he is, and doesn't just use him for her own ends? She actively seeks to teach him (to read and write) to help him settle better in this era, she actively tries to ease his distaste for rain with a well-meaning bet, and she never gives up on him. (Actions mean so much more to him than words in general too, tbh...). Love is more easily defined by work and effort than it is by attraction.

When he has his episode at the festival, sure she's rattled; but that's because she truly believed that he didn't want to be around her anymore. When she notices he really doesn’t want to be followed, she stops like any normal person would. It’s only when she reads his notebook and sees the truth for herself (that he’s given up despite having the same feelings for her) that her determination is rekindled. She doesn't approach him fearfully, doesn't treat him like he's made of glass either. She just wants him as he is--accepts and loves him as he is. Scarred, bloody, exhausted, abrasive, terrified. She doesn't define him by how easy he is to love. That is a huge issue with traumatized people lmao. Because of their maturity, people always just assume they don't need help, or they rely on them to an extent that isn't sustainable. The second they reveal need or that they struggle, people walk away or victim blame them because it’s easier than taking them seriously.

While MC's attempts may be a little more obvious (cherishing his lily field, wearing the hair pin he gave her, careful about his gruesome injury, really listens when he talks about the horrors of his life and accepts that he experienced a level of agony/terror she can never understand, tries to express her feelings no matter his evasion) I think it's also important to consider Comte's large scale effort. I don't say this to undermine MC, I say it because Jeanne's life was defined by a complete lack of security. He left his parents to make their lives easier, he lived in a war that meant life or death any second, and his country's leader branded him a traitor which lead to his endless torture and public execution. Jeanne does not know a life in which safety is the norm. Point blank. He does not understanding going outside and not expecting the worst anymore.

Comte not only understands that level of despair, but treats it with dignity and respect. He fully accepts being hated if it means Jeanne can use that hatred to live on and find a way to heal. And most importantly, when Jeanne begins to move forward with MC and Mozart's help, Comte never once holds it against Jeanne when the truth is revealed. He's not angry, this isn't about reprisal or reparations or revenge. It's just love.

Jeanne doesn't really have a concept of this? His entire life was mostly transactional, defined by strength and efficiency. Nobody gives a damn about your feelings. You either hurl yourself at the problem or die. Nobody is going to help you or carry you or save you. While he may have had a little more support while he was in the military from his fellow soldiers, that support system was ripped away from him during the Inquisition.

One very common sentiment regarding elongated imprisonment and torture is that survival occurs in pairs. It is an undeniable fact that people need others to survive. It is the nature of who we are. Individualism has never proven to be successful, or if it is, its dividends are astronomically minimal when compared to people working together.

What does it mean to be the most reliable, steady person in the room? Usually it just means you don't know how to ask for help when you are no longer capable of maintaining that stance. Napoleon is guilty of it. Leonardo, Comte, and Jeanne all are too. It's part of why MC and Comte's capacity to see what he needs and provide as much as they can is such a big deal. That sort of consistent support (without a constant necessity to beg for help) allows Jeanne to be able to re-integrate into his new reality and find joy. Even if his nightmares and memories never go away, they are now being actively overrun by positive experiences. That's the thing about recovery, really--it tends to be more about drowning out the negative as much as possible and coming to terms with it, than it is about forgetting or never feeling it again. It’s about softening the sharp edges of pain like sea glass.

So is MC magical and randomly got Jeanne to open up? Nah, I don't think so. I think it was a series of persistence and real acceptance of who he is that made him warm up. People really seem to underestimate how deeply affecting understanding is, but that's how damage is undone. Jeanne can't really linger on the idea of his own monstrousness, his unworthiness, a lifetime of misery, when the person in front of him actively listens and cares about him. Makes him laugh and smile and lose himself in warmth for the first time.

If I'm honest, I feel like people also just...underestimate the level of traumatic resurgence that's perpetuated and inflicted by society’s standards in general lmao. This rhetorical structure in which good and bad exist in moral extremes, this idea that people should be able to recover and never experience relapses or periods of sensitivity. The refusal to radically listen to people and their problems, and make active attempts--not matter how small--to mend/ease those hurt feelings. Granted there will always be people in the world who do not want to improve, but I feel like most people want to. It's hopelessness, silence, and stigmatization that remain the true enemies of traumatized/mentally ill people everywhere. And among that population are always war veterans...

[x-x-just-a-little-witchyy-x-x]

Circle Casting

Circle-casting is one of the foundational skills of Wicca and witchcraft. Often, it’s one of the first things that newbies learn to do as part of their training.

But circle-casting is a complex idea, even though the techniques are rather simple. Whether you’re casting a circle for the first time or thousandth time, it never hurts to think about what, exactly, you’re doing and why. In this article, we’ll get “back to basics” on circle-castings, and also consider some of the finer points of building the Witch’s circle.

What is circle-casting?

Circle-casting refers to the practice of setting up a temporary space for magick or ritual. It is, by definition, round. Circle-casting is a term that’s most commonly used in Wiccan traditions, but other magick users may cast circles, as well. The magick circle is a mobile temple, a place apart from the ordinary world where magickal happenings can more easily occur.

Generally speaking, the circle is put up at the beginning of the rite by the leading priest and/or priestess. Solo practitioners cast circles, too. At the end of the ritual, the circle is released. (More on that later.)

A circle is a psychic boundary. You can’t see it with your normal five senses. However, a properly cast circle is detectable energetically and/or clairvoyantly by someone who has those skills. The magick circle is said to extend through the worlds—not just the physical plane, but the astral planes as well.

Why cast a circle?

There all kinds of factors that can interfere with ritual magick: Distractions from the mundane world, the contrary wills of others, chaotic entities that feed off the Witch's efforts, just to name a few. Casting a circle is one way to shut out disruptive influences and stay focused on the work. Magickal trance can be a psychically vulnerable state, so many Witches cast the circle with psychic protection in mind.

Just as important as the circle’s outer barrier is its inner one. Magickal energy—like all energy that we know about—tends to bounce around and scatter off into the Universe. Motion is its natural habit. The whole point of ritual is to concentrate some of that energy temporarily, for a purpose. A circle allows you to gather more energy up and hold onto it longer. If your work involves the evocation of spirits or deities, a well-built circle offers them a cozy place to land for the duration of the rite.

We can summarize all this by saying a magick circle has two main purposes: To keep disturbances out, and to keep the energy of the ritual in. This is certainly a vast oversimplification. So we’ll do it one worse and say the circle is a tool to make your magick stronger.

I’ve heard the circle described as a vessel, a workbench, a fence, a welcome mat, a spaceship, a gate, a bubble, and many other metaphors. Like the story of the blind men and the elephant, all of these words describe something about the circle, without really being a complete explanation of what it is.

How do you cast a circle?

There are simple and complex ways to cast a circle (and all points in between). You can cast a circle with tools or without, either aloud or silently. All methods of circle-casting require concentration or visualization, and a commitment to the belief that the circle is real.

A traditional circle has four cardinal points, set equidistant around the circle’s circumference. They are linked to the four directions, the four Elements, and the Wiccan seasonal calendar. I think of the Quarters as ancient intelligences that appear in many of the world's religions. If you prefer, you can think of them as tent poles that balance the circle’s shape and energy.

These are all common practices in circle-casting: Visualizing the boundaries of the circle, walking the circumference of the circle, cutting a barrier with a knife or sword, calling the Quarters, lighting candles, placing objects around the edge of the circle, ritual cleansing of the space inside. Your casting may use a few of these elements, or all of them.

The following is an example of a very simple circle-casting technique: Visualize a ring of light at the edges of your ritual space. The light burns and purifies the space within the circle. Take some deep breaths, and focus on the pulse of energy within your body. Feel the heat and light of your own energy expand with every exhalation. That light also has a fiery, purifying effect on the space between you and the circle. When you feel the warm edges of your own energy reach that boundary of the circle, clap your hands together and say, “As I will, the circle is cast.”

Some people prefer to cast the circle with the aid of various tools: The athame, a length of cord, stones or candles for each of the quarters. These items can be very helpful in setting up the boundaries of the circle.

The larger and more public the ritual, the more tools tend to be used, since attendees may not be accustomed to the ins and outs of circle-casting. Large public circles often use multiple callers, altars at the Quarters, chants and written evocations to help make the circle more visible.

There is no method that is better than the others. The strength of the circle will depend on the will of the participants and other factors (such as the psychic geography of the place where the circle is cast).

Is circle-casting necessary for magick?

No, certainly not. The magick circle is not used in every tradition. Norse, Kemetic (Egyptian), and many shamanic and folk magick practitioners work just fine without one. Circle-casting is a useful technology, not a hard-and-fast rule.

The Witch’s magick circle is a legacy from the grimoires of Western ceremonial magick, what is sometimes called Solomonic magick. Its original purpose was to protect the conjuror from demons and fallen angels, and to assert the authority of God over such rebellious spirits. This commanding, adversarial approach to magick is now out of step with how many magicians view their relationship with the spiritual world.

Among Wiccans and others who do cast circles, most will say that not every act of magick requires a full-blown circle-casting. Meditation and devotional practices (such as giving offerings) often take place outside of the formal circle. Experienced Witches may choose to cast a circle only when they feel they need the extra protection and focus.

Can a circle cast itself? This is a fascinating topic! While circle-casting is far from universal, the concept of the aura, or energetic field around the body, has traction within many more spiritual paths. Many people have observed or felt this permeable barrier of energy. If you think of the magick circle as an extension of the aura, circle-casting becomes a lot less Wicca-specific.

When working magick with others outside of a formal circle, I’ve sometimes noticed the collected energy take on a circle-like shape. (Or a blob, at least). Other have commented on this phenomenon, too. It may be that the magick circle is something that forms spontaneously as the energy of the participants knits itself together.

How large should the circle be? What shape?

Nine feet in diameter is the traditional size for the Wiccan circle. Nine, or three times three, is an important number in Wicca. The customary nine-foot ritual cord, folded in half, is anchored in the center and walked around to trace out the circle’s edge. The resulting circle will be just over 27 feet in circumference.

The nine-foot circle is not a commandment, just a suggestion. Feel free to tailor your circle to your needs and the available space.

How small is too small? The circle should be large enough to completely contain the Witch and his or her ritual items. You don’t want to accidentally penetrate the edges of the circle while gesturing or reaching during ritual. For group rituals, you want to leave enough space for people to maintain a comfortable distance from each other. (If that is in fact the goal…no judgement here.)

If you’re working in a bedroom or other small space, the nine-foot circle may not be practical. Cast a circle that fits the space. It’s better to have a circle that’s small and round, rather than a larger one with boundaries that extend through walls, furniture, etc. Ideally, the circle should include the altar (if there is one), ritual tools and nothing else—no other items that could pose a hazard or distraction during the ritual.

Theoretically, there’s no upper limit to the size of a magick circle. But smaller is often better. I’ve worked with groups that cast circles to the edge of a building or field to miminize the disruption from people wandering in or out. These circles are not very round, and they don’t have sharp boundaries. They tend to dissolve well before the ritual is over. Smaller, tighter circles are just easier to visualize and maintain.

Now that we’ve covered circle size, here’s a few words about shape. A lot of people visualize the cast circle as a ring of energy laying on the ground like a hula hoop. Some people visualize it as a vertical tube (or stack of circles) standing up like a paper towel roll. Some people visualize it as a sphere, extending into the ground and up overhead. Some go with a cone, with the circle at its base. That’s all fine. It’s really up to you and how many dimensions of visualization you’re comfortable with.

Circles are made of energy, and there are subtlely different energetic functions to each of these shapes. As you grow more experienced with circle magick, you may find that some shapes are better than others for certain tasks. If you’re working with a group, make sure you’re on the same page, shape-wise.

However, don’t worry about the people who say that a simple two-dimensional circle is inferior or ineffective or dangerous. That’s just wankery. Fundamentally, it’s always intention that matters. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that nobody’s ever died because their ritual circle didn’t have a lid on top. If you intend your circle to be impenetrable and set it up that way, no baddies are going to be hopping the fence like goats in a garden…trust me.

What does being in circle feel like?

Being in a really solid circle is a bit like having an orgasm. You can read about it and get some ideas…but when you have one, you’ll know.

People experience all different kinds of sensations while standing within a ritual circle. Heightened sensations of energy and a distorted sense of time are common. Words, images, and objects within the circle may take on special significance. The boundaries of the circle can feel quite strange—giving off heat, resistance, or a tingling feeling when you approach them. It’s also normal for objects beyond the boundary of the circle to appear hazy or out-of-focus.

Here are some notes about standing inside magickal circles:

Being in circle is like having a lucid dream. It feels real and not-real at the same time.

Being in circle is like being wrapped up in a blanket that smells like you.

Being in circle is like being in an airplane cabin with the pressure turned up too high.

Being in circle is like being very tall and still with your feet deep in the ground and your head among the star.

Being in circle is like looking at an alien planet through frosted glass.

Being in circle is like being able to move while the rest of the world is frozen.

How do you take down a circle?

When the ritual has ended, it’s time for the circle to be taken down. Some Witches call this “opening” the circle, while some call it “closing” the circle. Both phrases mean basically the same thing. The language can be confusing, so I usually seek out other words to describe the dissolution of a magick circle.

Releasing the circle allows the energies contained to dissipate, and the room or patch of ground to return to its pre-ritual state. There are many techniques that can be used to help the energy to disperse, such as ringing a bell or visualizing the walls of the circle dissolving. Gathering ritual tools and putting them away also helps scatter any lingering energy. The sensation of taking down a circle can vary in intensity, from a slow fade to a dramatic rush as the circle collapses back into the aether.

If a formal circle has been cast, formally un-casting it is good form. Often this means following the circle-casting ritual in reverse. For example, say the circle was cast by walking the circumference clockwise, then calling the Quarters, then lighting a candle on the central altar. You could un-cast it by blowing out the candle, releasing the Quarters in reverse order, and finally by walking the circumference counter-clockwise. Ideally, the person or persons who cast the circle should be in charge of taking it down. (If necessary, another person can take over.)

What if you fail to properly shut down the magick circle? It will eventually fade away on its own, usually within minutes or hours. Ley lines, water features, and heavy foot traffic are some of the things that can cause the circle to fade away faster. Temple furnishings, buried crystal or metal deposits, and regular use of an area can slow the dissipation of the circle’s structure. Using a pendulum or dowsing rods can help you detect the presence of lingering energy in a ritual space.

The cast circle is never more than a temporary psychic construction. However, leaving an unattended circle is a weak coda to your magickal working. It also can leave an open portal through which unwanted entities can travel. For best results, always pack up your circle when you’re done.

Information found on: https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/circle-casting-basics-all-you-need-to-know-about-magick-circles

[smutbymia]

Can I request a smut where y/n is Jaehyun's ex and they become successful by their own.One day they met at an award show or red carpet or something and Jaehyun just regret it.Thankyou 😚

Jaehyun stood with his group members in a line, posing for the flashing lights that shuttered from the dozens of cameras lined up behind the barricade in front of them. They were styled to perfection for the night, in preparation for their red carpet appearance at the Oscars. After participating in the soundtrack of a nominated film, the boys of NCT 127 found themselves attending the most prestigious film event of the year -- something they hadn’t thought they’d ever get the opportunity to do. 

They each had smiles plastered across their faces as they slowly shifted their gazes across the sea of photographers, moving from section to section on the carpet alternating between photo-ops and quick interviews with the press.

Jaehyun tugged at the front of his black tuxedo and straightened his bow tie while standing tall as Johnny chatted away with an interviewer just as he heard commotion at the other end of the carpet. He watched out of the corner of his eye when the photographers seemed to move in the same direction of the excitement.

Jaehyun shrugged it off, still trying his hardest to continue focusing on his groups interview. It wasn’t until he heard the voice of a photographer shout your name that his entire demeanour finally shifted. The cool, calm, collected image he had upheld all night began to falter. He watched as Mark — who was stood on the opposite end of the line lifted his gaze to peer discretely past Jaehyun’s head in your direction after clearly hearing your name as well. His eyes met Jaehyuns as he gave him a warning look. A look that told him to keep it together because there were millions of people at home watching through the cameras that were capturing every moment in real time, and broadcasting live across the world. 

Jaehyun tried his best, he really did. But he couldn’t resist any longer. He turned his head to look back at you. You stood on the marked spot of the runway in front of the cameras in a floor length white gown that made you look as though you had stepped out of Heaven itself. Your leg dangled out from in between the slit of the stress and your hair cascaded down your back. You took your position before alternating between a series of poses as you worked the cameras. Compliments spilled out from behind the cameras as paparazzi bombarded you with instructions on where to look -- to the right, to the left, up high for the ones in the back row, etc. 

As you shifted your gaze to a different section of photographers you mistakenly met Jaehyun’s own. The two of you locked eyes — with you pulling away at first, completely taken aback by your exes presence. Jaehyun however kept his gaze on you and continued watching intently as you worked the red carpet.

“Jaehyun?” the reporter called, as her voice interrupted his thoughts of you.

“H-huh? I’m sorry!” he said before flashing a dimpled smile and making the interviewer melt, “there’s just so much going on. The red carpet is so exciting!” he chuckled, and just like that he was in the clear — sort of. The interview wrapped up shortly after and all was well before the rest of the members gave him a knowing look once the cameras were no longer rolling. 

Jaehyun sighed deeply, glancing back at you once more as he admired your bright smile that was on full display during an interview. He missed you, he thought to himself. 

You had dated for a few months before you decided to move to LA. Originally the plan was to stay in Korea and settle down with Jaehyun but after he failed to uphold the promises he had made about finally going public with your relationship you decided that you couldn’t put your life on hold anymore for him. No one, especially you, deserved to be somebody else’s  secret. 

You moved out to LA and pursued acting. In just a few years you had finally worked your way up in the industry and were notorious for playing lead roles in indie films by some of the best directors in Hollywood who had grown tired of casting the more well known stars. Ironically that is what had turned you into a household name — as you completely found your niche within the genre.

But how did it feel seeing the boy you were more than willing to give up on your dreams for? Surprisingly you were okay. It hadn’t been easy and you needed to work through a lot of your issues over the years to get to a place where your pain and resentment towards your ex no longer consumed you. Being in such close proximity with your ex and feeling confident was certainly an improvement, you thought to yourself. 

Besides, you had found your own footing in the world and your own level of success as well. Though you both were famous celebrities, you both existed in two different worlds that rarely met -- until now. Maybe it was inevitable that one day the two of you would cross paths again. 

You blew through your interviews as others arrived on the carpet and within minutes were being ushered into the theatre by staff who were working on seating guests for the award show. You stood aimlessly by the open bar in the waiting area as your manager chattered away with the publicist of some other up and coming celebrity. 

You raised your hand gracefully to wave down a bartender who seemed to fail to notice your efforts at grabbing his attention. You sighed deeply before giving up and dropping your hand back down against the cool counter of the bar in defeat. You were hoping to get a few drinks in your system before having to sit through yet another boring ceremony. Suddenly you felt the presence of a large body behind you. You titled your head upwards to the arm that was raised high above you as the bartender finally walked over in your direction. 

“How can I help you two?” he asked. Flustered, you tripped over your words as you turned around, coming face to face with Jaehyun who seemed to be staring directly into your soul. You froze, and watched as he turned to speak to the bartender. Within minutes, two identical cocktails were slid across the counter. You sighed as you watched jaehyuns slender fingers wrap around the base of his glass as you mirrored his action.

Just then a photographer approached the two of you inquiring about a photo op. You smiled sheepishly as onlookers directed their attention to you. It’s not like you could refuse. Not on a night like this. It would look terrible on your part. So instead you stepped closer to Jaehyun and though he hesitated slightly, you felt his hand rest on the small of your back.

You offered up a sheepish smile as he remained stoned face as he usually did in pictures at events like this. After a few clicks and a few extra stares the photographer moved on. Jaehyuns members lingered by as they tried not to make it too obvious how surprised they were at the interaction. Once it was over they swooped in almost immediately.

Many of them offered you quick greetings but it was Mark who lingered to speak with you as they managed to create some distance between you and Jaehyun.

He spoke quickly and quietly. From the perspective of outsiders it looked like harmless mingling but his words carried weight.

“We can all tell that he misses you a lot, y/n. But we’ll do our best to make sure he doesn’t get in your way anymore,” he stated. Your heart froze at the new revelation.

You opened your mouth, hesitating a little before you spoke. “It’s okay,” you began, “it was a long time ago. I’m okay. You don’t have to coddle me.”

It was true that Mark had a tendency to get that way. Him and Johnny knew better than anyone else what had happened between you and Jaehyun and the two scolded him every chance they could get about the way your relationship turned out. They were all your friends before the romance between you and Jaehyun blossomed.

“It’s not you that we are trying to protect this time,” Mark confessed, “to be honest, it’s Jaehyun. He took it hard. Even though he knew it was his fault he suffered a lot and is full of regrets. We know you’re doing well now but... he hasn’t really been the same.”

You looked over Marks shoulder and locked eyes with Jaehyun who was engaged in what seemed like a deep conversation with Johnny that you were sure must have been similar to the one Mark was having with you right now.

His expression was downcast, yet stern. He seemed bothered by what he was hearing. You were almost certain Johnny was telling him to keep his distance from you but you couldn’t help the feeling in your heart... a feeling that made you wish you could hear these things directly from him instead.

The rest of the night proceeded accordingly though you couldn’t shake the feeling in your stomach. Good thing you were an actress because between presenting and carrying home your first award, you needed to really sell the fact that tonight was the best night of your life despite the fact that you were hurting a bit inside.

Next was the after party and yes, it was intense. Drug and alcohol fueled events were a regular occurrence in Hollywood and soon enough everyone was under the influence of something. There was a reason it was kept in the most exclusive hotel in the city and that reason was because people usually got so fucked up that the convenience of being able to be one elevator ride away from their beds was a complete blessing.

You called it a night quite early. You drank congratulatory drink after drink and decided that it was far better to leave while you could still somewhat see clearly. You had made your excuses and encouraged your team to stay around to party as you went back up to your room alone to get ready for bed.

You were all changed into a silk nightgown when there was a knock at the door. Figuring it was just room service, you went ahead and opened it up but to your surprise Jaehyun stood there alone. He leaned against the door frame with a half empty bottle of wine in his fist as his head hung low.

“Congratulations on your award,” he slurred as he held the bottle out to you. You were in complete shock. You poked your head past the door, hoping no one had seen him standing there. You planned on telling him to leave when you heard the dinging of the elevators bell as voices rang out down the hall. In a moment of pure panic you quickly dragged him by the collar of his coat into the room and slammed the door shut behind the two of you.

Jaehyun giggled. “Do you miss me that much?” He asked as he reached for your waist. Locking you in his embrace.

“Jaehyun are you crazy? You can’t just show up at my door like that. Lots of people are staying on this floor. Someone could have seen!” you scolded.

He placed the bottle down on a piece of furniture before putting the palm of his hand to your cheek.

“I’ve always been crazy haven’t I? Who would have thought it would be you wanting to keep us from being seen... after all this time,” he said as his voice dropped.

Your breathing became laboured as his eyes gazed deeply into yours.

“I’m so sorry. I should have never kept you a secret,” he confessed. “I regret trying to hide you from the world. Now that they get to see you, they get to love you too. Everyone who gets the pleasure of getting to know you always ends up loving you, don’t they?” he asked. He offered up a weak smile as the dimples in his cheeks went on full display again.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” you answered. You covered his hands with yours as you drew it away from your face. You could see the sadness return to his expression.

Jaehyun blinked a few times. “Ah, I think getting so emotional just sobered me up a bit,” he winced as you watched his cheeks begin to blush.

“Mark and Johnny are going to be really upset with me when they find out that I came up here. I’m sure they already know by now,” he said. Jaehyun still held you in his grasp. You attempted to pull away but he refused to let you go.

“Please...” he pleaded as he felt you try to put distance between the two of you “please, y/n. Let me at least hold you for a little bit longer.”

He let out a deep sigh before engulfing you in a hug. You hesitated before wrapping your arms around his neck and could feel him relaxing under your touch instantly. Jaehyuns hands ran down the small of your back and grabbed at your waist as you could feel the desperation and yearning in his touch.

What was only a hug started to feel more intimate. Before you could stop yourself, you felt your hands yearning for more of him too. You ran one of your hands up the nape of his neck and into his hair as he burried his face into your neck — the warmth of his breath on your skin sending tingles down your spine. Your back arched slightly in response, causing your chest to press into his.

Jaehyuns hands travelled a bit lower, resting dangerously close to your butt and it was enough to draw a reaction from you. You sucked in air between your lips, before letting out a soft gasp. He knew exactly what he was doing to you. You cursed yourself for falling into his trap so quickly but his energy was intoxicating.

Jaehyuns lips brushed lightly against your neck before you felt him press them against your skin, giving you soft kisses on the delicate flesh. Your breathing became heavier. You made no effort to stop him. Your body reacted on its own as you titled your head to give him more access to you.

“Good girl,” he encouraged softly as he alternated between soft kisses and the dragging of his tongue up towards your ear. You whimpered as you felt yourself officially cave. There was no way you could stop now. Not when it had been so long since you last felt like this.

He dragged his teeth back across your skin, nipping softly at the flash before dropping one his hands to palm your ass. You let out a soft moan in response as you felt his hardness grow against your stomach. Jaehyun lifted his head away from you before locking you in his gaze once more. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes scanned your face.

You watched him through hooded eyes, with your cheeks flushed red as he leaned in to capture your mouth in a deep and passionate kiss. You moaned against his mouth as his tongue forced itself past your lips. You suckled softly on his tongue as his hands explored the rest of your body.

This time you took the lead, deepening the kiss and dragging him with you back towards the bed in your hotel room. You pushed off his coat and tugged at the buttons of his shirt as you continued to move backwards. When you felt the duvet covers on the back of your legs you sunk down into the mattress pulling him towards you as you moved to unbotton his pants, keeping your eyes firmly locked with his.

Once he was free he discarded the rest of his clothing with ease. Jaehyun stood before you, panting softly, naked body on full display as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Fuck...” you sighed. You could feel your nipples harden underneath the fabric of your nightgown while you tried your hardest to stop your eyes from wandering again.

Jaehyun’s lips turned up at the corners for what seemed like a mere second before his gaze went dark again. He stepped forward and reached for your face to run his thumb against your bottom lip. You couldn’t stop yourself from allowing your mouth to fall open slightly, inviting his finger to slip past your lips and across your tongue.

You suckled softly. Jaehyun used his other hand to slide the straps of your nightgown off your shoulders one by one. Your eyes never left his while you felt the fabric fall to your waist, leaving you topless. You stood up, mouth still full and eyes still locked to let it fall to your feet, leaving you naked.

Jaehyun’s free hand immediately grabbed at your waist, pulling you closer to his body and with a pop he removed his thumb from your mouth, replacing it with more fingers before finally switching to a kiss. Your tongue danced around his eagerly.

You jumped at the feeling of jaehyuns damp fingers against your clit as he wasted no time prepping you. Moaning against his lips, the two of you moved back towards the bed — this time, with Jaehyun settling in between your legs.

“Forgive me,” he said quietly. Your chest rose and fell with each passing second as you waited for him to speak again — fingers still brushing against your clit as you moaned quietly.

“I ruined everything. But, I want to make it up to you. Even if it’s just this once. Even if it’s the last chance I get. So be good for me, okay? Just for a little while longer” he said as he lowered himself to your core.

You were a writhing mess as you waited for his tongue to finally connect with your flesh and when it did... fireworks.

Maybe it had been too long or maybe he just knew your body better than anyone else but within seconds you could feel yourself getting closer to your peak. Jaehyun flattened his tongue against your lips, running it up and down your slit at a sensual pace. It was so good, but not nearly enough. He was teasing you and pleasing you all at once.

On occasion he would flick himself against your clit, watching as your body convulsed at the contact before pulling away again and watching you slowly get further away from your orgasm once more.

“M-more, please,” you begged as you reached your hands between your legs to rope in jaehyuns hair. He continued to work at your core before lifting his head slightly. You raised your hips to chase after him, not wanting to lose contact, as he chuckled to himself softly.

“I’m being rude, aren’t I?” he taunted as he teasingly ran two fingers down your slit, coating them in your juices. You groaned as you watched him put both fingers in his mouth, humming to himself.

“I can’t help it. You taste so good, I don’t want to rush,” he murmured.

“Baby, please” you cooed. Jaehyun froze momentarily.

It was a low blow. You knew calling him the pet name would bring him into a more submissive state but you were desperate at this point. You could feel the shift in the power dynamic as you used the hand you roped in his thick locks to pull him back down to your center.

“You said you wanted to make it up to me. I want to cum all over this pretty mouth, baby” you said. Jaehyun’s mouth hung open as he watched you in what seemed like a daze as he nodded softly before returning to what he had been doing before.

This time there was no teasing. He went immediately to your clit — lips engulfing the soft bud as he lapped at the flesh. You couldn’t resist wrapping your legs around him, slightly squeezing his head with your thighs to resist the intense amount of pleasure you were feeling.

You moaned as he forced your legs back open again, giving you no choice but to accept exactly what it is you had asked him for. Despite submitting to you so easily, he refused to let you off the hook.

Jaehyun slipped two fingers past your entrance and pumped them vigorously in and out of you as he sucked your clit into his mouth, releasing it with a pop before repeating his actions.

“Let me taste you. Cum for me,” he urged.

Just then, you granted him his wish as your back arched off of the bed and you felt your orgasm wash over you. Jaehyun didn’t let up. He continued to pump at your core without interrupting as he lapped away at your juices.

“Fuck, you’re dripping. I have to feel this,” he said. You continued to convulse under his touch as you let his name slip from your lips over and over again.

You felt his fingers retreat as he ran the head of his cock up and down your slit, making you shutter each time he brushed against your sensitive clit.

You only had a few minutes of rest before he was inching himself into you slowly before finally bottoming out. You moaned, still sensitive from your first orgasm as he began thrusting. He started off slowly, savouring the feeling of sliding in and out of you until he was balls deep inside of you again each time.

He layed on top of you, with his head burried in your neck as he snapped his hips forward over and over again. Soon it was just too much. The both of you seemed to have forgotten where you were because the way he moved and the way your voices filled the room made it seem as though you were the last two people left on earth.

“I’m going to —“ he tried to warn as his words were interrupted by his own moan. His pace got slower as he continued to bury himself into you over and over again.

You pulled his face to yours into a final kiss as you worked your hips against his. Your lips parted along with jaehyun’s as your kiss broke. They brushed against each other as you refused to pull away completely just as you both reached your peaks together. His warmth filled you up as you both panted. Your bliss was short lived when you heard loud and violent knocks on the hotel room door followed by muffled voices.

“Are you guys insane? You’re so lucky the party is at its peak right now because we could literally hear you from the end of the hall!” Mark said as the knocking continued.

“Jaehyun, I swear to God if you aren’t out here in three seconds!” He continued.

The two of you frantically pulled your clothing back on before you threw the door open. Mark looked the two of you up and down.

“Johnny is holding the elevator so no one else can get up here. We gotta go. Oh and congrats by the way,” he said before turning on his heels and making his way towards the elevator.

Jaehyun quickly pulled your face into his hands for a kiss, promising to call you soon before Johnny yelled for him to “get the hell into the lift!” and just like that they were gone again and you were left with a feeling that you couldn’t really describe — but still a peaceful one, nonetheless. You closed your hotel door finally letting your fingers flutter across your lips as they broke into a soft smile.

[blu-joons]

DATING PENTAGON A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Ko Shinwon

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Whenever he’s walking around without his shirt on, Shinwon will make an extra effort to be affectionate towards you and remind you how good his body is. He loves making you blush by squeezing you tight against his bare chest.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

You were working as a photographer for one of Pentagon’s shoots when you first met Shinwon. Of course, as the visual, you’d been told to put an extra focus on him, directing him meticulously so the photos were perfect. It was fair to say, when the boys looked over the magazine, they were more than pleased with your work.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

The members loved your work so much, that they asked their management specifically to have you work on their next album shoot too. This time around, Shinwon was determined not to be so quiet, and at the end of the shoot when you were packing away your equipment, he crept over to you and finally introduced himself properly, letting you know that he’d had his eye on you for quite some time, enquiring if you were free that evening.

D ⇴ DATES

You’d never met a man as into shopping, and specifically clothes shopping, as much as Shinwon. He loved to head out with you and find new pieces to add to his wardrobe, although he was a little more reluctant to shop for you as well. You always ended up leaving with far too many bags, it was a struggle for both of you to even make it back to the car with how much you’d bought. Having someone enjoy your hobby as much as you did though was definitely something you appreciated about dating Shinwon.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

He’d been spotted before on rumoured dates and with female friends, and so Shinwon knew that he had to be careful when he was out with you to make sure that you were protected. More than anything else, he wants to keep you safe and be mindful of your own protection when the two of you go out, and so he’ll always make sure to check over his route before you go out anywhere. Having been seen before, he’s wary about if it happens again, not on your own terms, and what the fans may think.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

At times, Shinwon’s temper can certainly get the better of him, something that you’ve been on the receiving end of on more than one occasion. He’s often guilty of speaking before thinking and letting his frustrations out before realising what’s actually going on. When you feel as if he’s unfairly shouting at you, you won’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and yell back at him until one of you eventually backs down. With a bit of time, the two of you always work things out, but with how stubborn Shinwon can be, arguments never go away straight away, they always need a bit of time to be figured out.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Every time he saw his family, he always showed them pictures of the things that the two of you got up to, so when you went to meet his family for the very first time, it felt as if they already knew almost every single thing there was to know about you, surprising you by just how much they actually knew thanks to Shinwon.

H ⇴ HOME

Moving you into his home was a slow build up for Shinwon. The last thing he wanted to do was move too quickly and risk messing things up, and so he cautiously suggested you stay over for a night, gradually working up until he felt like the two of you were ready to take the big step and hand over the keys.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Shinwon is very open and honest about how he’s feeling, so when he was having a random ramble about anything that came to mind, he couldn’t stop himself before he was pouring out his feelings to you. The last thing you expected was for love to be mentioned, although, you couldn’t hide your smile when you realised what he’d said.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

His temper could definitely end up getting in the way whenever Shinwon get jealous too, before he let things fizzle out of control, he’d always go over and stand incredibly closely into your side to deter anyone from overstepping any boundaries. You can only laugh at how protective he is of you, even if there are times when he doesn’t need to be. Even though you’ll know jealousy is most definitely the cause of it, Shinwon will always reject that suggestion, assuring you he just likes being by your side.

K ⇴ KIDS

Having a family is something that Shinwon definitely wants one day, but whilst his focus is on the group and music, he doesn’t tend to entertain too many conversations about it. He wants to live in the now and not fret too much about what may or may not happen later down the line. When kids feels like a bit more of a reality, then he’ll be much more open towards discussing having a family with you.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

For all his hot-headed moments, Shinwon is also a huge prankster, forever winding you up by setting things up around the apartment that can make you jump or cause a mess that somehow you have to clean up. You’re very good at getting your own back on Shinwon though, he’s easily scared, which you love to use to your advantage, often hiding around the house and jumping out on him when he least expects it. Prank wars is very much a thing between the two of you, forever trying to outdo each other with who can scare the other one the most and who can end up creating the most mess as well.  

M ⇴ MISSING

Shinwon has a tendency to shrug off missing you whenever anyone ever asks how he’s feeling, especially when it comes to missing you. It’s hard on him, especially at meet and greets when so many of the fans want to compliment your relationship and tell him how sweet the two of you are. It’s then, when he misses the sweet moments with you, being able to hug you and tell you about his day without having to worry what time it is and whether you’ll be awake or tucked up in bed, not wanting to be disturbed. It’s hard on him, but he’ll always do his best to smile through the pain for the sake of everyone else.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You love to tease Shinwon by calling him a ‘diva.’ He hates it, and you really can get under his skin with the nickname, but even he can’t deny how apt it is sometimes, and how much of a diva he really can be.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He’s obsessed with your body, he often finds himself just staring at you in awe, but most of all he loves to hold you and find new sweet spots against your skin.

P ⇴ PDA

Whenever you’re in public, he’s always cautious of not making too big of a deal, but also not wanting there to be any distance between the two of you. Whilst he’s happy to make it known that the two of you are together, he’s not someone that will go too over the top, preferring to relax things and keep gestures subtle.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He’ll often ask for your opinion on various things, especially when it comes to outfits and things that he should take on tour or for shoots. Although he knows he looks good, he loves to hear it come from you as well.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

Shinwon will always make sure to wear the bracelet that you bought for him in amongst all of his other ones whenever he’s away from home, and you. You can always spot it during any broadcast or fan cam, and although to everyone else that’s watching him it just seems as if it’s another bracelet, to you, you know the importance of it, and just how much it means to you to see him wearing it, thinking of you.

S ⇴ SEX

The mood is often a great determiner in how intimacy goes for the two of you, sometimes Shinwon will love to dominate and prove to you that he’s the man, other times he’ll be happy to let you be the dominate one, especially if he’s had a rough day. The two of you often find yourselves in the bedroom after an argument as well, Shinwon’s temper definitely calms itself down that way, and leaves you happy too.

T ⇴ TEXTS

You’ll often receive texts when he’s out and about, tending to be pictures of things that he’s spotted that he wants your opinion on. A new shirt, or perhaps a menu for dinner, he’ll always send it to you immediately.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

At times, he could be a bit of a complex person, and yet you understood exactly who he was with ease. Whilst others were often confused by him, you got it, each and every time, you knew exactly who Shinwon was.

V ⇴ VACATION

When the time came for the two of you to go away, Shinwon made sure to spoil you like you never had been before. Not only did he want to treat you to a holiday somewhere special, but he also wanted to use the time to say thank you to you for being there for him through so much and understanding how busy he was too.

W ⇴ WHINING

There were definitely times when Shinwon would be known to whine for your attention, if he was feeling needy, then he’d definitely let you know about it.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He loved to tease you the most when it came to kisses, winding you up and often leaving you wanting more, only to see him walking away. He couldn’t help but be playful when it came to kisses, pulling against your lip, or sucking gently against the nape of your neck, when he heard little hums come from your lip, Shinwon knew it was time to pull away, knowing that it wouldn’t take long before you’d chase him down.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his reason to smile, he was just so unbelievably happy around you.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Shinwon tended to sleep with his shirt off, which was something about him which you were silently a big fan of. He could tell though, by the way you fell asleep blushing most nights, that you enjoyed being able to touch.

---

Masterlist

[mmmleckerlecker]

I was reading the questions you've answered, and I'm curious now: you said that the co-existence between preds and prey is very recently. So I was thinking the HP world from years ago, when pred could snatch up whoever prey they wanted... How was the society in that time? How did they live? (Headcanon: prey lived underground?) Did the preds have no qualms in consuming whoever they could find? (prey children/teens or the elderly, for example?)... The harmony was founded by a prey or pred? (1/2)

What was the reason for the preds to make the jump from consuming indiscriminately to the public/private contracted prey? (another headcanon: preykind severely disminishing in numbers?) I find your worldbuilding so enchanting, I'm sorry for the avalanche of questions. You're awesome! (2/2)

AHHHH YES!!! THE QUESTION I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! No need to apologize!!! I have considered making a post about stuff like this for awhile now but I’m always like “do people REALLY wanna hear all that?” But now i have the perfect excuse. Thank you, anon! You’re awesome too!! (WARNING this kinda turned into a chapter length read. So I hope y’all like to read history about fictional worlds.)

Okay so. This is all stuff I’ve sorta kept in my head and have built upon when I’ve had ideas, so sorry if there are some gaps currently haha.

So I imagine preds and prey started trying to “make peace” about five centuries ago but didn’t start living in true “harmony” until about two hundred years ago. And I use the term “harmony” loosely because clearly there’s still a lot of infighting happening. Before that, the preds and prey lived in two entirely separate cultures. The prey lived in larger, more stationary groups while the preds lived in much smaller, more nomadic groups. They also DEFINITELY didn’t speak the same language.

So for preds, the groups they would live in were more like traveling pods that consisted of maybe 1-3 families living/working together. Having groups of preds getting too large was… not sustainable. It would create too much competition for food. So each group would usually give other groups of preds a wide berth. Granted there were definitely still spats for territory, especially if said territory had a good supply of prey available.

Prey, much like in modern times, were never really the preds’ main food source, however. Preds would still hunt and gather like normal. It would usually take some organizing to get a raid together on a prey village (or a pred could just get lucky and stumble across one that wandered off alone). Consuming prey all the time was just too much effort. They weren’t a practical food source nor a completely sustainable one if they were over-predated. Also! Keep in mind, the more a pred consumes, the more their body acclimates to handling such a large meal. It would be better for the preds to consume every once in awhile and have their prey take longer to digest (hence, keeping them fueled longer) than to consume ALL THE TIME and risk addiction. I think consuming would probably become more regular in the cold months too, when it was harder for preds to find other food sources.

As for WHO the preds would consume? Definitely adults would make for the best meals. Children? Well, I imagine prey would be very protective of their children, first of all, making them difficult to obtain. But also they would just make… not as filling meals? Also prey children are mostly the same size as pred children so there might be that little hesitation there on the pred’s end as they’re reminded of their own kind. I guess if the pred is desperate? There’s always gonna be a time and place for special circumstances. As for the elderly… I imagine they also live in places that are harder for preds to get to. I also think if a prey managed to live that long, they would have a trick or two up their sleeve. But like I said, there’s always a possibility for things to happen.

Now for how prey live…. Like I said, they live in larger groups. There is safety in numbers, after all. These groups were basically villages, sometimes even cities where prey could really know their territory and set up defenses against any invading preds. (An underground dwelling is really cool idea tho! I also believe that prey evolved to be able to fold themselves up and be comfortable/feel safe in tight spaces that preds could never reach them in, so prey living in like a cave system might actually work really well!) Like it’s been stated in the story, prey tend to have a lot more children than preds for “just in case.” This could cause their towns to become rather large and populous sometimes.

Prey, also unlike preds, usually tried to keep in contact with neighboring towns/villages/cities. This was one of the key factors for what made it possible for the shift to both sides living in harmony to happen. Since the prey lived in settlements and kept in contact with other prey settlements, it allowed for a certain development of culture as well as the sharing and recording of knowledge that preds… just didn’t have. Prey were able to develop things like farming and running water. They could study math and science and share their knowledge in libraries and schools. They were really on their way to becoming an advanced society, they just had one big (both figurative and literal) problem holding them back. They constantly had preds attacking and killing off their people.

Despite their efforts to fight them off, the prey just weren’t winning. So they decided, if a war against preds wasn’t going to get them anywhere, then why not make peace? The first step for this was the prey learning the preds’ language. This was… dangerous, of course. But it was done enough that the prey were able to open conversation with preds. Just this move alone caused a huge shift between both sides. What are you supposed to do when your food, which for centuries has only babbled nonsense at you before you swallowed it down, suddenly starts speaking to you like an equal? It certainly gave preds pause, but not enough to stop consuming. Not that the prey didn’t expect this. They approached the preds with more than just a common language. Their first big move was offering them food. And not just any food, but GOOD FOOD. Cooked food, decadent food, spiced foods, foods that preds didn’t have the resources (nor the patience) to prepare.

Sharing food took… probably a little more effort than one might expect. Prey and preds view food fundamentally different. To prey, it’s sustenance but also something to enjoy and connect with. To preds, it’s simply something to stop hunger. There was a sort of learning curve for preds to actually learn to ENJOY food for its flavor, but once they got it… OH BOY!!! A door was opened! Because despite LIKING prey food, the preds weren’t always so good at preparing it, so it gave the prey something they could exchange for safety. (This is also something that persists into modern times. Preds are still often stereotyped as not having very refined palates and not being very good at preparing food. This is referenced a little in Heart Pangs itself as well as the one-shot I posted last week!) Once the food trade became established, it opened up relations enough to exchange other things!

The prey shared would they could with the preds in exchange for their own survival. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. Sometimes it SEEMED to work but then the preds turned on them and things went downhill very quickly. But the prey had the advantage of sheer numbers and determination on their side (that and if they didn’t keep pushing they would literally be eaten alive). It took generations of negotiations, but the preds and prey eventually came to a sort of truce, though consuming never stopped entirely.

The preds weren’t stupid, they saw the prey had a lot of good stuff to offer them. At first they took what they needed and went their separate ways, but as they gained more trust from the prey, the preds encroached more and more into their territories until both sides were more or less neighbors. There were some advantages to this. If both sides cooperated enough, they were able to make further advances as civilized societies. But there were also disadvantages… like the fact that the preds were always bigger and the prey were always making sure not to anger them so it became very easy for the preds to take whatever they wanted and leave the prey with less than they deserved.

The prey even began to lose their own language as most of the preds couldn’t be bothered to learn the prey’s language (although a lot of prey terms for food and science stuck around). The preds stopped being the enemy who lived outside the prey’s walls and suddenly became the bully who lived next door. Yes, technically the prey were a little safer than before, but the advantages they once held over the preds were slipping away as the preds claimed more and more of what the prey had until the preds were able to start developing their OWN advantages.

For a long time, the preds and prey operated as two different societies that lived in one space, meaning each group had their own leaders and their own laws. But as things began getting more and more strained between each side (as they tend to do when two natural enemies live side-by-side), the prey (once more) tried to make peace. They made the bold move of reaching out to the pred leaders in an attempt to work together and function as a singular society (although both sides more or less continued to live as two societies, just under the rule of one government). The preds were surprisingly open to this change, which was a relief to the prey… at first. But then it became clear that this was mostly just a power grab for the preds to acquire more status and wealth and power amongst the prey.

Besides the fact that a lot of prey were falling into poverty because of this, the most glaring issue was that the “unification” had made it even easier for a lot of preds to break the peace and consume prey with barely any consequences. This caused a lot of prey to flee and seek out safer, more remote places to live. Eventually it got to the point where the prey leaders threatened to break away from pred society completely. The preds didn’t like this, though, as they’d gotten very used to having prey within easy reach. They also knew that losing half the people in their society would cause a lot of problems in terms of keeping everything running smoothly. However, the preds very much did not want to give up consuming entirely. It was in their nature after all, they argued.

So after A LOT of negotiations, both sides came to a compromise. The preds would actually start enforcing consuming as something illegal UNLESS the prey being consumed had agreed to it beforehand. Obviously the prey leaders couldn’t see any prey ever AGREEING to being consumed, so they settled on the compromise thinking that was the end of it. This was the true beginning of the “harmony” between preds and prey, but of course, the preds always have something up their sleeves.

Rich preds began offering up money and food and shelter to all those desperate prey in poverty. Those prey could get everything they could ever want for, the only payment was their lives ending in said pred’s gut (after a specified amount of time). These ventures started slow, but once they started to catch on, BOY DID THEY CATCH ON. The desperate prey began hearing about certain preds who were practically giving away wealth, all it took was a signature written in (figurative) blood. Meanwhile preds began hearing about other preds who had found a loophole in the consuming law and wanted in on the action. Like any good entrepreneur, the preds turned their contracts into a business and started selling them to other preds.

The prey leaders, of course, despised this, but what could they do? It all aligned with the compromise they had made. The only thing they could do was stand by and help come up with regulations for this new practice. So they did. Over the decades, the contracting businesses grew to what they are today (large corporate monsters… although the smaller, more private contracts still exist) as well as became the core to keeping the peace. Even the government itself offers contracting services now.

Society has shifted considerably in the years since harmony was reached. The two sides have mostly learned to live with each other. Prey have fought viciously to be treated as equals while a lot of preds go their whole lives without consuming (particularly fatally) even once. And, as you know, the development of neutralizers allowed preds to experience consuming without having to hurt anyone. A lot of progress has been made, but a lot of progress still needs to happen.

And I think that pretty much catches us up to the setting of Heart Pangs (whew)! I keep thinking it would be really cool to write a story that takes places in an earlier time period to further explore how different the relations between preds and prey would be, but I have yet to come up with a plot haha. Maybe someday. I’m sure an idea will come to me at a proper time. Anydays, thank you for your interest! It was really nice to be able to (finally) type all this up somewhere!!

[soulmate-game]

Okay, I’m not sure if what I was trying to say in my last post was said very well.

I completely understand the tagging situation from the First Wave with the DC fans. That’s discourse that is mostly solved and we can’t do anything about those who are forever gonna be bitter or lazy. I’m not talking about that stuff.

The stuff I want to prevent/limit is the hate that comes after our fandom deliberately. And yes, I know I can’t stop it. None of us can stop bitter, antagonistic people from being bitter and antagonistic. None of us can stop people who just want to be angry.

I’m not talking about stopping them, though.

I’m talking about what we can do to protect ourselves as creators and consumers in this fandom. As people who love and appreciate what the creations and people in this fandom have to offer. In simplistic form, I’m saying we need to learn how to shield ourselves from bullies. And there are methods we can use to make ourselves less of a target to the people who go after us, and methods to cut their attacks off short. None of these methods are fool-proof, but they will work to filter out a good majority of the shit we would otherwise be showered by, like a big umbrella against Assholery. Sure, the wind might still blow some in our face and we might splash in a puddle or two by accident, but at least we aren’t soaked.

So let me list the various things that can help you shield yourself from hate/harassment/antis who might just be out to get you.

1) leave the fandom.

The most effective, but least attractive method possible. This is limited to being a last ditch effort, if things have just gotten too hard to handle. I’m covering it first though, because we have to acknowledge that it is a viable method. If you feel trapped, hated, bullied, I’m sure all of us in this fandom would prefer you take a break and leave us for a while in the sake of your own health and safety then stay where you are miserable. This is less of a problem for us though, because mostly this option is gonna be for fandoms where the discourse and attacks are internal. Maribat is largely a peaceful and supportive/healthy environment once you’re inside our little bubble, the main discourse comes from outside in. So let’s focus on the main point of this post— how to keep our bubble from popping.

2) Make it apparent right away that you are Unapologetic.

Whenever you post content or are approached by someone about the topic of your fandom, don’t you DARE ever apologize for liking what you like or posting unproblematic content. You need to make it clear right off the bat that you are not gonna be swayed, bullied, or shamed out of your fandom. Stand with pride and make it clear, but don’t be verbose about it. A simple “Don’t like, don’t read” is classic but sometimes if you’re posting/talking during a more confrontational period of the fandom, you need to up your game to reflect that. The funny thing is, people can easily be intimidated by swearing if it isn’t directed at them or clearly antagonistic. If you’re swearing in a joking, casual or even in a manner that shows you’re not taking yourself too seriously, people will usually avoid picking fights with you. For this, my favorite lines to use on my work include;

“Don’t like, I don’t fucking care. I fell down the rabbit hole.”

“Don’t bother reading if you’re not into this, this shit bitch-slapped me and dragged me along on it’s adventure.”

“I’m addicted to this fandom, don’t bother trying to save me. If it bothers you, I don’t give a fuck. Save yourselves.”

3) Don’t approach or interact

Unless someone comes at you first, never try to persuade someone away from hating us. That just makes you a target in an empty field, for the vultures to surround and gang up on. If someone approaches you with provocative but not overly insulting or intelligent language— I.e; trying to start a fight, vague insults not always relating to the fandom itself, trying to insult your character/judgement— do not respond. Delete the message, block the account, and surround yourself with fluffy good stuff to forget the wanna-be harasser. These people are often not brave enough to outright start a fight, and want you to get defensive first so they know the weak points in your armor to exploit. Defensive statements declare your own insecurities, don’t get defensive. It gives them a way to win without having to defend themselves or feel vulnerable— it’s like exploiting type differences in Pokémon. You wait for an unfamiliar Pokémon to expose it’s type, then snipe it with the moves it’s weak to. Then, you have a near sure-fire win even with under leveled Pokémon on your team.

Don’t be a proud Infernape that gets sniped by a weak-ass level 5 Piplup. We’re strong, don’t show them the chinks in our armor.

4) Have a support network. Even if they don’t know they are your support network.

The fandom as a whole serves this purpose, and this is mostly gonna be a tactic you use when the discourse is inside the fandom, but there can be uses for this in discourse from outside the fandom as well. If someone tries to act like they like your story/art “but...” they passive aggressively state things they “would prefer” or they try to make it sound like you made stupid mistakes (a tactic to make you insecure about yourself) instead of kindly pointing out errors or offering constructive criticism (ex: “you know you put your trigger list somewhere where it’s useless right? Love your story though.)—THESE ARE ALL PROVOCATIONS. They are trying to make you insecure so that you change things about yourself, your work, or jump through hoops to try to “make it up” to them when you did nothing wrong and there are no problems to fix. Do not fall for it! Instead, politely as possible, bring the issue into a public space where you feel safe/trust the people in that space to keep the bullshit from escalating. For me, I straight up explain my reasoning for the placement of my trigger list as if I’m advertising a particularly boring but important product that I’m selling, then offer places for them to bring the issue into a discussion with others. I send them to a discoed group or right here to my tumblr, and I immediately make the issue into a big discussion (do YOU think there is anything to change? Let’s ALL talk about it) so that I am no longer isolated and easy for them to harass. They might refuse to join the discussion and further try to pressure you, but do not cave. Merely say that a public discussion has been started, and if they are actually, legitimately concerned about the way you do things then they can debate it in a public setting. This way, you have back up. 9/10 people who try to target you this way will back off and never enter the conversation you started.

5) Do not fight back.

This sounds counterintuitive, but a lot of the time once discourse gets this bad, arguing/defending/ trying to prove your point only fuels their rage more. I have found that people hate very little in this world more than they hate being wrong. And people who hate being wrong will fight to the bitter death about their opinions, no matter how invalid or hurtful they are, in the favor of their blissful ignorance. Remove yourself from harmful discussions or those that seem to be going in circles as soon as possible, and try to surround yourself in your support group. Never let people make you feel stupid, your opinions illegitimate, or your likes/dislikes invalid or evil.

6) Try to learn how to recognize bullies in disguise

It’s too much for me to try to cover here, but you need to PLEASE look into how to spot gaslighting. Tactics of gaslighting are often used to attack others and try to make them feel like their own opinions are invalid or their mindset untrustworthy. People will often approach you in the guise of friendship/support/ “I am not into this, but...” and while this is not always a red flag, we have to keep our eyes open for any signs of this person or their approach being rooted in anything other than legitimate curiosity or kindness. Not all suggestions that say they are out of concern actually ARE. Keep an eye out for warning signs, and cut off interaction once things seem like they may lead to an argument or you being in a vulnerable position if you continue interacting.

(Brief mention of s**cide and threats in the section below)

7) If all else fails, BLOCK THEM.

No hesitation, we don’t need this shit. They make a second account? Block that too. Don’t respond, only take screenshots or reblog if it is directly harmful information that can/should be documented (words that encourage suicide, threats, insults that seem a little too specific for comfort) and give the evidence to someone you trust to look out for you. A therapist, a family member, or even the authorities if you deem that necessary. Just don’t handle it alone.

We are not responsible for other people’s actions, opinions, or anger. Take the steps to protect yourself instead of trying to reconcile. Sometimes, reconciliation isn’t an option. Both parties have to be willing to reconcile, and it is clear they have nothing in mind but hurting us. So raise your shields and protect yourself and your friends, we’re not gonna lose a war to petty jerks.

[touchmycoat]

qijiu bingqiu (bingliushen??) fix-it fic planning blabber

so i think i gotta keep it tight on SJ’s POV. Right before his death, he makes a deal with Xin Mo (who’s kind of a lone operator bc LBH too has to fight its power) to create this alternate timeline in exchange for his cultivation. Xin Mo can open up new dimensions no problem, and with SJ’s cultivation, it even manages to rewind the timeline. That’s not enough though—Xin Mo’s goal is only consumption, so it takes the deal but reveals there’s nothing that will actually change. The price SJ paid only opened the door.

But that’s fine, ‘cause SJ saw it coming. He also strikes another deal, this time with Death itself? Some sort of large cosmic force. The only thing he wants changed is Qi-ge’s death, and in exchange...the universe takes him. SJ will not get to exist in that second universe. SJ takes the deal.

And that’s the start of canon. SJ-as-SQQ can no longer exist. Instead, SY-as-SQQ is brought in. In order to stay cohered though, YQY’s memories and personality get a little glitched—he is physically incapable of recognizing all the ways SQQ is now not SJ. That’s why, despite SY-as-SQQ clearly being OOC, YQY never seems to see it.

Canon happens, now we’re in the post-canon world where bingqiu are married and settling down, but SQQ still kicks it with his buddies LQG and YQY every now and then. YQY still firmly believes SQQ is SJ, to SY’s increasing consternation. Is it just delusions and wishful thinking? The more YQY treats him as SJ though, the worse SY feels—he shouldn’t be stealing all this affection that doesn’t belong to him.

It all comes to head when SQQ overhears public opinion on YQY, how he’s perfect in everything but his crazy devotion to SQQ. SY thinks enough is enough. He can’t bring SJ back but he sure can tell YQY that his Xiao Jiu is dead, right? The System warns him he’ll be punished but that’s fine, it’s just not fair, SQQ can take another little mental horror trip down to BinggeLand if it means YQY can have some closure.

Except that’s not what happens. He gets YQY in private and says, “no, you don’t understand, Shen Jiu is dead.” He sees the recognition in YQY’s eyes, but he also sees the moment that recognition gets wiped. The sad smile that had fallen off of YQY’s face returns, eerily happy, as YQY says, “my apologies, Qingqiu-shidi, I must have spaced out just now, what did you say?”

Right before the System kicks him into another punishment phase, SY tries again: “Shen Jiu is dead!” He sees the recognition disappear once again from YQY’s eyes.

Inside the punishment world, Bingge has him again. “I’ve been searching for an answer to why the sniveling pathetic version of me gets you as his Shizun, and I think I figured it out.” For a moment, SY’s horrified by the possibility that Bingge has figured out his transmigrator status—if his punishment figures it out, would he be trapped inside the punishment forever? But instead, Bingge says, “Liu Qingge is still alive, meaning Shizun didn’t kill him in the spirit caves. Did his survival render such a dramatic change?” SQQ”s like “yup, yup that’s definitely it. We’re such good friends, he really changed my outlook on life, so I treated you better, mhm.”

“Shizun’s very clever then to save his own life this way. Xin Mo’s already told me about your little bargain.”

That’s how SY learns that SJ had made a deal. Holy shit, he’d thought it was just random phenomenon this whole time, but the original goods had made it all possible? He didn’t know whether to thank SJ or curse him.

But that can’t be the whole story—Xin Mo opened up a timeline, that doesn’t explain why SY is here. Bingge doesn’t know this part, but it sure feels like SJ made a second deal, paying with his life.

What would motivate the original goods to do all this? Sacrifice his hard-won cultivation and his entire existence in this last-ditch effort?

The memory of YQY’s glitching came to mind.

Holy shit. SY owns the two of them more than he’d ever thought.

After the punishment, SY goes back home. He’s with Binghe, and LBH can tell there’s something troubling him.

“Binghe, there’s something this husband wants to do, and I need your help to do it.”

“Shizun, anything.”

“...But there’s a risk it might hurt you. There’s a risk it might ruin everything. It might be straight-forward, but it also might not be. It’s safer for all of us—but especially you, Binghe—if I just let things be.”

“But it’s not something that Shizun can just let be, is it? Otherwise Shizun wouldn’t have said anything. Binghe is honored to help. Anything to ease Shizun’s mind.”

“...I promised I wouldn’t let you come to harm again, and I meant that. Whatever happens, remember that I am your husband, this is my call, and you must do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, okay? Swear to me, Binghe.”

SQQ begins figuring out how to use Xin Mo to go fetch SJ from the other timeline. He figures that if Bingge could exist in this dimension without destroying the space-time continuum, the same ought to be true for SJ. Only trouble is, he can only go get SJ after SJ’s made the deals, because otherwise it’s a paradox, and he wouldn’t exist.

So SQQ brings home limbless, post-torture!SJ. That’s where the fic starts.

By all accounts, the deals are squared: SJ no longer has cultivation and SJ died in SY’s dimension, so SY successfully exists. SJ and SY can exist in the same space totally fine, and SJ begins healing.

(Currently, the fic is completely from SJ’s POV, and very much about coming to terms with being saved and what the hell is going on in this better world.)

The trouble is, SY doesn’t know what’s going to happen when SJ meets YQY again. SJ very thoroughly declines the offer to go see YQY because part of SJ still believes this whole thing is a trick, and if he goes to see YQY he’ll ruin his end of the bargain and YQY will die again. For SY’s part, he’s afraid of SJ going to see YQY too for similar but opposite reasons—if SJ going to see YQY ruins SJ’s end of the bargain, then wouldn’t that mean SY can no longer exist? Would SY just disappear from this universe?

So we get ragtag group therapy fun times. SJ thinks this is probably all an illusion Xin Mo is tricking him with, so treats everything with scorn but also existential apathy. This actually works to his benefit because he’s not clinging to things as hard, and it’s easier for him to admit, for example, that he was definitely in the wrong for abusing LBH, and yeah he was being a spiteful bitch when he did not need to be.

SY tries to keep LBH away from SJ mostly, because c’mon, he’s not about to make his darling husband face his childhood abuser. He does explain the situation to LBH though, in the same terms that Bingge had (mis)understood it lmfao—that the act of saving LQG’s life had prompted an entire 180 on his personality so he came out of the spirit caves a better man. LBH’s jealous as fuck of course, but damn if that doesn’t explain some things. Given the opportunity to see his old and new Shizun side-by-side, LBH takes it, and really gets a moment to see how horribly he’s been treated by SQQ.

So it actually prompts some therapy between SY and LBH too. LBH used to figure that getting pushed into the Abyss was squared by SQQ sacrificing himself to save him. But ofc it turned out SQQ came back and kept on, in his perspective, trying to get away from him. Trying to leave him behind. SQQ’s tried to treat his abandonment issues by going “okay sorry about that I’ll never leave you behind again” but he’s never really explained it.

SJ’s presence gives Binghe the ability to ask the question again and gives SY an answer: shame and cowardice. They’re able to put SJ’s mistreatment of Binghe right in front of them and SY-as-SQQ gets to explain how much it hurt to look back on that bit of their past, but also how much he feared LBH's retaliation. LBH is a little hurt, but also he remembers how he’d raped SQQ under Xin Mo’s control and, looking at what’s left of SJ now, he sees his own darkest possibilities. He really did destroy the man he loves now in another timeline. That helps him contextualize SY’s fears and why SY chose to push him off the cliff.

LQG crashlands into the middle of this whole party as is his wont. He gets a little fix-it too maybe. SY very staunchly repeats the reason for his personality swap—saving LQG in that cave made him a Better Person™. Meeting the original goods again, LQG is forced to believe it. Or like, it doesn’t really matter to him either way, but now he really does see pre-cave SQQ and post-cave SQQ as two completely different people.

SJ though, has to swallow this really weird pill. He remembers trying to save LQG inside the cave but failing, and then getting blamed for LQG’s death. If he’d succeeded, he and LQG would’ve become...this close?? A life debt between them would’ve changed his outlook on life so much???

Well whatever. Now that he’s put down all his old posturing, he more readily gives his reasons for why LQG gets on his nerves so much: the insufferable confidence (arrogant prick), the skills to back it up (privileged bastard), and a flawless cultivator family with all the money and the training and the pedigree. (Meanwhile SY’s like “oh shit that’s me too hahahahah awkward, good thing he still thinks i’m him so he doesn’t just murder me immediately.)

LQG’s a little weirded out too. SY-as-SQQ is his favorite person in the world, so it’s hard to get angry at SJ-as-SQQ since they’re “the same person.” He’s more willing to talk all this out with SJ and brings up all their old beef on his side too: high-handed snootiness coupled with underhanded dick moves, also the whole sleeping-with-prostitutes thing hurting Cang Qiong’s reputation. Ofc they’re snapping at each other this whole time. “There’s no reason for you to do all that!”

SY intervenes if needed. “Actually there is.” Considering the fact that SJ gets indicted for so many things that actually turn out to be not his fault, SY figures he’ll just get it out there. “Remember Qiu Haitang’s accusations against me? I grew up a slave in that household. I grew up believing it was kill or be killed—it doesn’t make sabotaging others right, but...that’s why the Spirit Caves made such an impression on me. I learned it wasn’t just kill or be killed, I can also save people. It opened my eyes to everything I already had, and everything I should be grateful for.”

This is for both LQG and SJ. And it works, to some degree. SJ knows he managed to claw to the top of privilege, but he still felt horribly insecure there. That’s because, he realizes, he never got the thing that would actually grant him security. It's not power or money or reputation—it’s Qi-ge. Holy hell he misses Qi-ge. In anger and betrayal, he’d pushed YQY continuously out of his life, but when faced with certain death the only regret he actually had was bringing Qi-ge down with him. YQY was meant to have survived, and in this world, he did.

So now, after all that, SJ really, really wants to go see his Qi-ge. It’s nice to have survived (and gotten part of his power back—at the very beginning, SY gives one of SQQ’s eyes to SJ as a bit of his golden core in order to save SJ’s life), but it’s so damn hard to live on in this world knowing YQY is only so far away, still very deeply attached to Xiao Jiu.

They try to Cyrano it at first. SY-as-SQQ goes to YQY with SJ’s voice in his ear, telling SY how to treat YQY as him. YQY is so fucking touched and hopeful, and SY is damn uncomfortable. He goes running back to SJ and says it’s not going to work—it’s not going to work because he’s no longer Qi-ge’s Xiao Jiu. He’s Luo Binghe’s husband, okay? He can’t go back to YQY as SJ.

SJ’s fucking furious at first (what kind of shitty variation of himself saves LQG’s life and then falls out of love with Qi-ge???? bitch?????) but what can he do? LQG tells them YQY’s on his way here and SJ hides for now. They still don’t know what will happen if SJ meets YQY, so SY continues to front as SJ for now.

But during this conversation, something changes. Maybe YQY says something, but SJ realizes he’s actually a little willing to take this chance. If Qi-ge does disappear—easy, he’d just kill himself right after. He’d already experienced Qi-ge’s death twice before, and at least this time, he can follow, knowing he’s at least reconciled with Qi-ge through SY.

And if he disappears on his own, then at least he knows there’s a world in which Qi-ge does not die horribly. That’s enough for him.

That, however, leaves the very last possibility—that SY will disappear. At this point both LQG and LBH have figured this out, and are very, very reluctant to let this be the scenario. They don’t see it as two people, they see it as their version of SQQ vs. YQY’s version of SQQ.

So there’s a little tension, but in the end, SY gets the final choice. As soon as he learns SJ is willing to go see YQY, he chooses that path. He simply owes qijiu too much to deny them the possibility of reconciliation. So despite knowing he might disappear from Binghe and LQG’s life, he makes it happen.

(They should get a very painful goodbye scene.)

SY goes out to explain things. “Zhangmen-shixiong may have noticed my change since my qi deviation and the spirit caves.” “I’m happy Xiao Jiu has a brighter outlook on life.” “Yes, but I think Qi-ge, of all people, might actually prefer how I was before, right?” “If Xiao Jiu’s happy, I’m happy.” “Yes, but Shen Jiu wants you. Is that alright?” “—of course. I want Xiao Jiu too—”

SJ comes out. Everyone holds their breath.

Scene cut.

It’s said that Cang Qiong’s Sect Leader Yue Qingyuan disappeared suddenly one afternoon...

But jk, YQY just ran away with SJ, they’re recuperating in the mountains and everybody’s fine and it’s a happy ending.

[frostiifae]

Why do we hate Nintendo?

Today, organizers of the The Big House online tournament announced that they received a cease and desist order from Nintendo. 

What is Slippi?

Project Slippi is, essentially, an add-on to the existing Dolphin emulator for Gamecube games. Its purpose is to bring the features of modern online gaming to Super Smash Brothers Melee, a game which was released very nearly 20 years ago and is no longer in production, but remains a popular competitive game with an active scene. 

Slippi has been a godsend to the Melee community during the pandemic. It offers incredibly high-fidelity gameplay with random matchmaking and tournament support, and the developers have emphasized making the game experience itself as close to local play as possible. It’s been so successful that the Big House - a series of major annual tournaments that have been running for almost a decade - decided to host their 2020 tournament purely online using Slippi. 

Who care about Melee? Why aren’t they just playing Ultimate instead?

If you ask a Melee player, they will go on and on about the improved framerate, responsiveness, and other such technical advantages Melee has over Ultimate. I’m going to talk about something else instead. 

It’s culturally expected nowadays that when a new game in a franchise comes out, you stop playing the old game and play the new game instead. But if you apply this way of thinking to any other form of media it’s completely ridiculous. It’s like saying there’s no reason to watch documentaries from the 80s and 90s, because documentaries about the same subjects have been remade more recently. Media exists as a product of its time. It might contain valuable historical insight that remains precious to us for centuries to come. Or, it might just be better. Maybe the older documentaries are more informative, or maybe they’re more engaging to watch. Games work the same way; people will always have their preferences about which game in a series is their favorite, and choosing to play an older game you prefer - especially if you’ve got a lot of friends to play with you - isn’t at all an entitled thing to do. 

The problem with digital media is that having a movie or game by itself isn’t useful. Me owning a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is useless if I don’t also have a Sega Genesis to run it on - and that system is useless if I don’t have a working controller to use to interface with the game. Melee has been facing this problem for years now, as copies of Melee itself and Gamecube systems and controllers become more exclusive and more scarce. There aren’t new games or systems coming onto the market to replace what’s being lost - there are only a finite number left, and when the last one breaks, Melee will effectively cease to exist. 

Ok, well, that’s sad and all, but Slippi is an emulator, right? And emulating is illegal!

Emulating is legal... sort of. Emulation has hidden behind a vague phrasing of copyright law that suggests that, when you own a piece of digital media, you have the right to make copies of it for your own personal use - you just can’t distribute those copies. Owning an emulator, or the ROMs needed to play games on that emulator, isn’t strictly illegal... but distributing those things is. 

The idea here is, in theory, you could very thoroughly mod your Gamecube to connect to the Internet and play with modded firmware using Project Slippi. Modding isn’t illegal, so if you have your own GameCube and your own copy of Melee, which you purchased legitimately, then doing this is absolutely legal. And it probably is what people are doing! Definitely, probably. I’m sure it’s not as hard as I make it sound. Don’t worry about it!

Point is; distributing ROMs is what’s illegal, not playing them. The Big House isn’t distributing ROMs, so they’re not doing anything illegal. And Nintendo knows that; they took a different approach. Instead of claiming that using Project Slippi is against the law, they instead simply informed TBH that they don’t have permission to stream or host a tournament using their game. 

Obviously, Nintendo owns the rights to Melee, and that means they have the right to decide who is and isn’t allowed to stream their game and why. The Big House didn’t break the law, but that doesn’t mean they have the legal standing to challenge Nintendo’s order - let alone the financial resources or emotional stamina needed to get into a legal battle with a company of that size.

I don’t see the problem. Nintendo has the right to do this. Isn’t this what everybody does?

No.

Age of Empires 2 came out in September of ‘99, and it has remained a niche but thriving competitive RTS game over 20 years since then. Fans had to keep the game fresh on their own via modding in new map support and even new civilizations. 

In 2012, Microsoft decided that the game’s consistent support from its fans deserved an offering, and they decided to make an HD rerelease. That’s really cool of them! They also contacted the developers of one of the most popular fanmade expansions, Forgotten Empires, and worked it into an official expansion, called The Forgotten! AOE2 has continued to grow and thrive ever since, receiving enough attention to call for TWO MORE EXPANSION PACKS, and of course leading to the Definitive Edition release last year. Embracing fan support of their outdated product has given Microsoft the opportunity to make money off of something that should be long dead, and now it’s bigger and better than ever before. 

If you ask folks within the fighting game community, you’ll find this isn’t an isolated story - for example, Arcsystems notably once incoporated a fanmade mod that improved netplay into an official patch, lending official developer resources to the group to help them get the job done. When your fans care so much about a game you’ve made that they’ll put in the time and the effort to make that game better and more accessible for everyone, a lot of developers are happy to honor and embrace that effort, and in doing so, they stand a lot to benefit - their games get better, and they might even be able to make enough money back on those improvements to keep growing the game even further.

So if other developers aren’t doing this, why is Nintendo doing it? Simple: They don’t like the idea that people are playing old games. They want everyone playing the most recent offerings, no questions asked. To them, “rereleasing” Melee is out of the question; Smash Ultimate is the only “canonical” version of Smash. Don’t play anything else. Don’t try to buy anything else. This is the only game that exists. 

So what? I don’t care at all about Melee. Why does it matter that Nintendo wants people to stop playing a 20-year old game?

The short answer is because it sucks that Nintendo holds the rights to something they don’t care about and aren’t using, and that they’re using those rights to legally bully people who love their games and want to make them better and more accessible to other people. Regardless of how you feel about Melee or its community, it’s a simple fact that the people who are building Project Slippi and running tournaments love the game more than just about anybody else. For Nintendo to order a C&D against a passionate fan project is a bummer - but for them to do so in regards to a game that they’re not making anymore is downright unfair. They would rather protect their ability to maybe make more money on Melee later, than allow the existing scene to thrive in a way that does literally no harm to them.

Nintendo’s well-known and aggressive policy of shutting down fan-made projects and communities of all kinds has only one objective in mind: they want absolute control over everything that they’ve made. From a certain naive point of view, this is fair, right? But if you take this to its logical extreme, then that means Nintendo has the right to prohibit things like fanart or fanfiction, which doesn’t really seem that fair. Where should the line be drawn?

This is just another battle in a war that has been fought over the last 200 years regarding the idea of a “copyright”, and what gives a person the right to decide how other people will consume media they publish. It has never been about the rights of writers, musicians, or game developers - it has always been about publishing rights. Publishers want exclusive control over the things they publish, because holding exclusive control makes it much easier for them to make money from their products. 

We have a legal term for when a single entity has exclusive control over a commodity in high demand - that’s called a monopoly, and it is illegal. Monopolies pose a serious threat to consumers because they can price their goods however they like, extorting their consumerbase or simply making their product inaccessible except to an elite few, which isn’t considered fair. So if that’s the case, why aren’t video game publishers considered monopolies? It turns out some people in the past believed they should be, and publishing companies have been doing all sorts of legal acrobatics for years to avoid it. Free Culture makes for a good read on the subject, if you’ve got time. (Chapters 6 through 9 are particularly relevant to today’s issues with streaming games and music.)

A lot of people don’t seem to understand the damage that Nintendo’s ridiculous monopolizing practices have done to their own gaming community. It’s absurd of them to expect people to continue to pay for new releases of the same games on virtual console, not just once but every time a new generation of “virtual console” is released - and yet they keep doing it, and it’s just one of many ways they continually screw over their customers at a chance for a few more bucks, and somehow most of their audience thanks them for it. 

So what exactly do you want me to do?

Nintendo’s tried to suppress Melee tournaments in the past, but were forced to reverse their decisions following massive public outcry by the competitors and their fans. Regardless of how you feel about Melee in particular, what Nintendo is doing is scummy and actively malicious to the people that love their games, and the fact that they’re doing it again proves that they’re not interested in learning their lesson. Folks on twitter are using the tag #FreeMelee to protest; lending your voice for a tweet or two can only help. 

More generally, though, all we can really do is be critical of Nintendo’s games and actions, and to ask ourselves whether we’re really getting what we’re paying for. Nintendo will continue to take everything you offer them and will never be satisfied; they will do whatever they think they can get away with - and if their fans never challenge them, they’ll assume they can get away with anything, and that’s bad for everybody - but it’s worst of all for the people who ostensibly love and support Nintendo the most.

[jonthethinker]

I’m always delighted to read meta people write about moral complexity concerning the characters presented to us in Critical Role. It’s due in no small part to how beautifully and astutely written these pieces are, and with how much care and tenderness people treat the subjects of their analysis.

But it’s also interesting in another way, because it shows me how differently I view the fundamentals of morality from the characters, the cast, and majority of the fandom itself.

And since I’m feeling very self-indulgent today, I’ve decided to write about how and why under the cut.

To begin our discussion, let’s use a rather popular subject on the topic of moral ambiguity: Essek Thelyss. He’s a fascinating character for many reasons, but our interest is in his choices and the consequences there in.

It’s discovered by the Nein that Essek is responsible for the theft of the Luxon Beacons and their acquisition by the Cerberus Assembly, which is believed to be the main crux of the war between the Dynasty and the Empire. He admits to them he did this because he felt his people were blinded by a faith that prevented them truly understanding what the Beacons were and how they worked, and so an alliance was formed with the Assembly in order to finally gain that understanding.

The only thing that really made him doubt this decision was his budding friendship with the Mighty Nein, not the war he helped start or the people harmed in the process, but that the people he had grown to care for had been caught up in his machinations to acquire knowledge; again, it’s not the moral or social implications of his actions that bother him, it’s strictly the personal ones.

And this is where the distinctions between my moral understanding and that of  others begins to display itself. Others see this as a moral development on Essek’s part, and a sign that he is growing in a more positive direction. I somewhat disagree. I see it as a sign that he can grow, but while the soil has become fertile ground, no buds have broke the surface yet.

Goodness, according to my own moral compass, comes from two basic notions; compassion and humility. Compassion to care for those you gain nothing from caring for, and humility to place yourself less and less at the center of importance in the grand scheme of things. This doesn’t mean devoting yourself so much to others that you don’t take care of yourself, but that you are okay with being intermittently uncomfortable and taking risks if it means others are taken care of. And humility doesn’t mean you think yourself unimportant, but that you are a part of something larger and grander that you are on your own.

Essek cares about the Mighty Nein. That shows that he can care about people outside of himself, but not very far outside of himself. They are his friends, and friends and family are, to our minds at least, extensions of ourselves; they rest against the bubble of self, and are often a huge part of how we even define and understand ourselves as individuals in the first place. Very selfish people can be very protective of the friends they have, because to a selfish person, there is very little difference between person and property; you are what you own, and your friends belong to you. Essek is, of his own admission, a very selfish person. So caring about his friends isn’t really some moral stride in the right direction, but more of an indication that he can care about others, but only in so far as they are of value to him directly.

But why is Essek the way he is? Many in the fandom say it’s because of his status as a prodigy, and the pressure that has placed on him over the course of his entire life. The expectations placed upon him are enormous, and he simply can not fail to meet them.

But that’s not really the full story. Because what most people seem to fail to include in their calculations is Essek’s class position; He is nobility, and unconsecuted nobility at that, and we’ll get to why that matters shortly.

Essek has been sheltered and protected from every hardship the average person of Xhorhas experiences. There has never been a single moment in Essek’s life where his material well-being has been in question. Not one time. While the pressures to succeed have been great, he’s also been given nearly every single tool he’s needed to do so. No doubt he received the sort of high quality education most folks couldn’t begin to comprehend, all while having the backing of his Den and the Dynasty at large to guarantee any actual failure has no real bite. When our goblin friend Zorth of Asarius fails at his job, a moorbounder snacks on one of his limbs. When Essek fails, maybe it causes some frustration and some momentary tension for his Den, but his relative social position and quality of life stays the same.

Seeing as he is unconsecuted, he’s never even had to start his life as someone with less than he has now. Skysibil Abrianna Mirimm started her current life as a goblin, and according to the Explorers Guide to Wildemount, has lead to many a whispered jest or cruel remark among the other members of the court, and because she’s had this experience, she’s grown a greater appreciation for the “beastfolk” as a broader sect of their society. Essek has had no such experience to open his eyes to the broader experiences of the public. He’s been insulated from the core features of many people’s daily realities in a way that virtually guarantees he feel nothing but disinterest at best and utter disgust at worst in regards to the trials of others.

This is not to take away from his agency, and to say it’s not his fault. His brother Verin by all indications experienced the same sort of life he did, but is an acclaimed leader and has very much humbled himself to a cause greater than his own ambitions, that being justice and honor for his people. So it would seem it is both his circumstances and his reaction to these circumstances that have affected who he has become, and what tools he has at his disposal to change that.

And to continue this thread for a moment, it would behoove me not to mention an incredible important aspect of Essek’s class position, and that is the power that comes with that. Anyone in Xhorhas could have had the same notions about the Luxon as he does. Anyone of them could have had the same grand sense of self-importance. For instance, Vendalla the housekeeper could secretly believe all the same things about how the Luxon religion is blinding the masses and holding back the Dynasty from realizing its true potential. The difference is she, unlike Essek, isn’t one of the handful of people that can act on that belief.

I feel this is where a rather stark divergence forms between my own sense of morality and that of others, and it’s my belief that systems and power structures are far more important in understanding the moral implications of a thing, and not individual belief, intent, or inclination.

To better explain where I’m headed, let’s use an analogy of sorts. When you think of yourself, if you’re like most people I know, “you” as an entity are independent from your body. You might think of yourself as a soul or maybe “you” are your brain or a consciousness piloting your body, but your body is ultimately seen as something “you” control.

But for me this isn’t the case at all. In fact, I don’t only believe you are also your body, I believe that yourself actually extends beyond you into the environment around you. You are not you without the many sensations and feed-backs, and sometimes lack there of, that your body produces, in response to the material reality around you. You would not be you with your brain in the body of nineteenth century Chinese peasant farmer or the body of a crusading knight in the twelfth century. You are defined by the context in which you exist.

And this extends further. I don’t believe people are independent ideological actors acting solely on their beliefs and feelings about the world. We are not independent of the context in which we exist. For the most part, your context does a lot more to shape your ideology than your ideology will ever shape your context. It’s quite the herculean task to think your way out of poverty. And it’s certainly a difficult proposition for a rich person to develop an ideology that doesn’t support them continuing to hold onto their wealth. These things can happen, for sure, but because of the broader systems and incentives at play, to expect people to just choose to swim up stream without also creating new systems and incentives to encourage that is bananas to me.

This is not to imply there is no such thing as agency, but your material conditions and social position are going to heavily influence the degree to which you can make decisions. The higher your class, the more choices you can make. The more hegemonic your ethnic group or race or gender or sexual orientation, the more options you will have, but also the weaker your incentives are to try and change that. That’s why social movements are generally comprised of the sufferers and not the sympathizers. The greatest allies don’t arise just because they believe something is right or wrong, but because they have humbled themselves before the size of the cause and have faith that their effort will support something much bigger and more important than their comfort and position.

These people are exceptionally rare for a reason; because it’s hard to do that. This isn’t a moral judgement on the people who don’t do that, quite the opposite; they are fish swimming down stream with the current instead of against it. If you want people to swim the other way, you don’t scold them into trying to swim harder; you make it easier. You change the current. And this is a task that you can’t do alone. You have to do it in a coordinated way, in disciplined unison with others. That’s why every major change the world has ever seen has largely been the result of pressure from movements not individual actors, and why the most successful movements are composed of the broadest base of sufferers, generally in the form of a broad working class struggle.

People in this fandom and many other fandoms try to be good. They try to believe the right things, and like the right things, and say the right things. But their power comes not from their individual beliefs, but through their combined action with others, joining together to change the current, and their faith that even though they may not get to personally feel the current shift, they were an integral part of that process. And it pains my heart that most of them can’t see that.

You see this in the Mighty Nein. They all struggle so much with their own sense of self-worth in comparison to their friends. They’re all worried they’re only worth as much as their latest contributions. The problem is that they define themselves as something separate from the Nein. Could someone who they see as contributing more than they have, have done so without the backbone of support they receive from all the others? No. None of them would have gotten far without the broader system of support they have developed for each other. They have shifted the current, changed the incentives. No person is exists in a vacuum. Our context shapes our possibilities. Want to change the available options? Change the context. And you can’t do it alone.

So if Essek is to truly get better, he needs more than just the Nein’s friendship. He needs the system they’ve developed. And that system is going to have to work hard against the many currents that flow through Essek’s life. They will have to change his incentives.

But the question is, do they want to? Most of the Nein weren’t mad about the war. If they were mad, it was because Essek lied to them personally. Only Beau seemed particularly interested in the consequences on the broader world, and her response was to try to scold that fish up stream. And it didn’t work. So really, it will be a question of if the Mighty Nein want to even try to push Essek onto a more positive, morally rewarding path, and what incentives they have to do so.

I really hope the small handful of people who read this can take something from all of this. I’m not alone in this outlook, as it has been something that has been contributed to by sufferers and sympathizers alike across history. If even one person walks away from reading this thinking about systems of power more than individual choices and beliefs, I’ll rest easy. Thanks for reading, regardless.

[elkian]

I was gonna do a “missing the point”-style meme but I’m honestly not sure that would even work tho so:

Harry Potter and My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia have similar issues with introducing and then immediately ignoring ENORMOUS issues re: ableism.

I think these two series in specific come to mind bc it’s ableism within a specific empowered community, and in both cases the series are pretty well-known and the community (Wix/Heroes) are immediately identifiable to many audiences.

[WARNING: Discussions of ableism, child harm, and abuse on multiple levels.]

What’s the problem?

SQUIBS.

[This post got stupid huge SO here is a tl,dr for all you lovely people who understandably have no time for this.

TL, DR: Both Harry Potter and Boku No Hero have a bad tendency to implement or imply a level of disability regarding unempowered people in empowered societies. They then continue on to completely disregard important conclusions to these implications, such as how heavily it is implied that these unempowered people (Squibs) are so ‘worthless’ to those societies that their very deaths are merely a byline rather than an actual tragedy.

This is especially troubling in MHA/BNHA when so many other political and worldbuilding considerations HAVE been planned out, and seems to be less-discussed in the fandom as a whole, so that’s a much larger chunk of this post.]

That’s your tl, dr!

Here’s the Harry Potter angle:

HP has a bit that I’ve seen people discussing already: Neville’s magic was discovered when his uncle dropped a literal child a potenial lethal distance. 

Neville activating his power and surviving is celebrated, and then JKR immediately glosses over the glaring issue this has introduced: the heavy implication that a Squib dying from this incident would have not have been mourned or even really commented on.

The few adult Squibs (and isn’t that a whole new slice of wonderful /j) are generally disliked and ridiculed for some reason or other. Now, while obviously there are plenty of places where the Venn diagram of “disabled” and “asshole” intersect irl, when your ONLY presentation of a disabled character or group is, every time, an asshole or a fool or both, boy! That’s bad!

Neville (who is generally presented as magically, physically, and mentally weak and often treated as comic relief) is a bit better via the POV Character constantly having positive interactions with him, but this is still a mess. Yes, Neville canonically is not a Squib, but it’s not subtle that he’s on the cusp OF being a Squib, and that is a key element of ridiculing him in many situations (also the whole trauma thing multiple times, like if I really get into it I could do a whole double-size post of how Neville was done dirty or nearly dirty by JK all the time but this isn’t that post).

This isn’t even the point of this post. Let’s move to MHA/BNHA

Hero Academia has differing but honestly even worse issues. And I’m aware that different countries handle ableism and accessibility in different ways, but if you think too hard about it this is an absolute clusterfuck.

What is the problem now?

Squibs! Or rather, the main character of the series, Midoriya Izuku.

Deku (a nickname meaning “useless”! Imparted after his disability is recognized! hilarity!!) is also born without powers. Even worse in some ways, he is born without powers in a world where the overwhelming majority of the global population has some kind of empowerment. I can’t recall if it’s outright stated or only implied that someone with a functionally useless (and hoo boy, usefullness to society is its own post nope not today i do not have that much energy) Quirk is still more of a person than a Quirkless human.

That sink in? Okay, let’s move on.

In a narratively not-uncommon turn of events, Deku gains power. This is partially a product of, and directly tied to, his own work and determination, as well as his willingness to help even when physically outmatched.

To an American audience (NOT the intended audience though I wouldn’t doubt it if Horikoshi meant to have international appeal more or less from the start), this is a deeply satisfying narrative. Who doesn’t love an underdog story? And we even learn that the strongest hero of all time (til this point, anyways) was ALSO born Quirkless!

However, from here, things take a nosedive.

The key problem is a combination of story progression and overall thought put into worldbuilding. Horikoshi’s efforts may not be the MOST thorough, but he has put a great deal of work and thought into his creation (he at least understands the concept of implications and sometimes plans accordingly, looking at you JKR). However, that tied with story progression and personal repercussions actually works to the detriment of the matter.

Especially given recent turns of events.

 [BIG MEGA SPOILERS FOR FAIRLY RECENT PLOT

 STOP HERE IF YOU’RE NOT CAUGHT UP

 SERIOUSLY]

 What I mean by this is the current state of events re: two particular recent/recent-ish plot arcs.

First, Quirk Removal, and second, Endeavor’s comeuppance.

Quirk Removal/Loss was the start of my realization to what the narrative was doing regarding Izuku’s Quirklessness and the state of being overall.

This arc was a perfect time to bring up Midoriya’s past! A lot of Western works certainly would have done so! And yes, it may be bordering on done-to-death, but many elements of Hero Academia put new twists on common themes and cliches; it wasn’t unreasonable to hope that he might do it again.

Instead, little to NOTHING is discussed during this time! In fact, iirc I’d go so far as to say Midoriya straight-up never considers his past at any point during this arc!? If I’m wrong then it obviously made little impact.

NOW, not every disabled character needs to incorporate their disability and/or skills gleaned from living with it in every narrative. In fact, it would get tedious and questionable if they did (note: this does NOT mean ignoring/forgetting the character is even disabled when convenient. Like, I’d like to think that’s the obvious point of this post but... *gestures at tumblr*). 

But the complete lack of it here feels really weird. Like, almost hollow. I think Midoriya makes some kind of suggestion to Mirio of his former Quirklessness at the end of the arc, but nothing that made any kind of impact.

Let’s move on.

Endeavor.

Now, the problem with Endeavor’s arc is not the arc itself. Or, rather, it’s the fact that Endeavor’s Comeuppance is pretty good.

This is a problem because someone else should be getting this exact same arc, yet the issue is never even RECOGNIZED, let alone addressed.

Endeavor’s abuse of his wife and children, all in the name of creating a Heroic legacy, is publicized and tanks his popularity. The general public is now aware of what he’s done to the people closest to him, which aside from giving him a more correct reputation, means they can’t trust him to protect them if they can’t trust him to protect his own family.

This isn’t the goal of this post and I’m no expert regardless, but up to this point (around chapter 290) this was handled in an interesting way. Endeavor is humanized and often shown interacting with people in a way that, while often domineering, isn’t always aggressive or abusive. He runs a Hero Agency for crying out loud! But abuse in the real world often isn’t constant, nor happening to everyone in contact with the abuser. So this is a surprisingly good lead up to the reveal, where you can understand how most people never realized this was an issue.

But here’s my main point. Let’s examine some traits and actions that come up:

physically abusive to a child (often dangerously so) to the point of permanent trauma and severe scarring in some cases

target of abuse was weaker (physically and/or regarding Quirk power)

often abused victim emotionally/psychologically, bringing this weakness up again and again

own immense power led to rising in the world of Heroics

comrades, fellow Heroes, UA teachers etc. not aware of prior abuse issues

Who does this sound like?

Endeavor, who has a whole fucking arc dedicated to this reveal and repercussions?

Or Bakugou?

Reminder: This isn’t a hate post. This isn’t a character post, or even an abuse post. This is about ableism.

Bakugou exhibits many, many traits and actions that Endeavor was literally just punished for. So why does the treatment of these characters in-universe differ so drastically?

Two primary reasons I can think of, which feed into each other:

1) Bakugou was a child (still technically is a minor, remember! Still a first-year high schooler!) when this started. This doesn’t mean he’s strictly innocent, but it’s an important point, because it leads us to

2) Bakugou Katsuki’s abuse of Midoriya Izuku is socially accepted.

Reminder of the audience’s first encounter with Katsuki. The very first page with him is him and his grade-school posse picking on a kid that Izuku is trying to protect. His posse is showing off their Quirk powers and mocking Izuku’s lack thereof.

Then we flash forward to late-middle school versions of the kids. Bakugou, in front of a fucking teacher and entire class, is verbally, physically, etc. abusive to Izuku. He trashes his stuff, threatens him, tells him to kill himself (which, as Izuku notes later, is a fucking felony in Japan too).

No one stops him.

No one criticizes him.

We don’t even get a shot of like, some more ‘regular’ students being like “man Bakugou’s kinda fucked up but we’re too scared to do anything about it” NO. NO. Everyone more or less either backs Katsuki up or straight up doesn’t care.

Remember that this started when Katsuki and Izuku were four. Remember that Katsuki’s power is absurdly dangerous, ie. LITERAL. GODDAMN. EXPLOSIONS.

Izuku has scars. He probably has hearing loss! He may have gotten at least one concussion which can cause serious neurological issues and open him up to further risk!

He could have died.

And?

NO ONE. DOES. ANYTHING.

THIS is the point of the post. THIS is the value placed on Quirkless people in this society.

And yet. Despite Endeavor’s comeuppance. Despite All Might and Izuku’s blatant ‘value’ to society through Heroics. Despite so many other political implications and quandaries address in the Hero Academia series.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing about this is addressed. The nearly-lethal ableism towards Quirkless people in this society is never ONCE brought up properly once Izuku receives One For All.

There is so much potential here! There is so much worth talking about! And yet we’ve moved into what feels very much like the Final Battle without it being addessed, despite numerous, numerous opportunities for a meaningful conversation about it along the way.

Mirio losing his power! Hell, Mirio’s powers’ drawbacks (and pretty much every Quirk’s drawback! if acknowledged properly!) border on a disability-analogue, and even more when Yuga’s laser comes up, and yet again and again we fail to truly engage with the matter in a meaningful way.

At this point, even if it comes up in the finale, I’m going to be disappointed in this particular aspect of the series due to the complete and total shut-down it’s been given so far.

What the FUCK, Horikoshi?

[quirkwizard]

Stand as One

One of the major themes across manga is the importance of the connections between the protagonist and the people they associate with. They talk about how they can't make it by themselves or how they are doing everything for those they love and cherish. On the other hand is the villains. More often than not, they are the most powerful people possible, either using others for their own gain or just simply being stronger than everyone else, often doing what they do because of some selfish reason. But this is where My Hero Academia seems to differ. Instead of having a collective mindset like most of this manga seem to be leaning towards, the series seems much more oriented to the individual with heroes and much more to the collective with the villains.

Heroes, at their core, are highly individualized. It's all about a hero putting themselves out there as a brand, as a single entity that represents everything that they are about. They have their styles, costumes, and abilities, all of which are supposed to be helping the user stand out. But it goes beyond just that. Each hero is not doing what they do for altruistic reasons. Some do it for altruistic reasons, others do it for money, some do it as an easy way to become famous. As the series continues, we learn about how much a person needs to set themselves apart from other people. While they can be inspired by others to take action, it is ultimately up to themselves to get to where they want to be. The series puts a lot of emphasis is put on one's own hard work to become a hero and how hard it is to become one. It is the acknowledgement that they are weak and they can overcome this through hard work. Even Deku, who gets his power, moves, and his primary goal from All Might can still see the importance of branching and trying to do things his own way. This is reaffirmed further by Izuku learning how to grow his Quirk in news ways such as his Shoot Style.

But regardless of all that, there is a prevalent theme of effort on the side of the heroes. It is shown constantly how hard it is to become a hero, training for years at the chance of getting a license and working to get a public image. And part of that hard work is about someone growing personally, expand beyond their original comfort zones to be the best heroes they can be. Ochako branches out from her mainly supportive role to make herself more rounded, Kirishima learns to be more confident in his seemingly unimpressive ability, Shoto overcomes his personal feelings regarding his father to truly become the be hero he is capable of being. It's all about hard work and how that hard work gets that person to where they want to be. It ties in nicely back into the idea of individuality since all of these people are either made or broken by how much effort they put into their hero work. Yes, people who have strong Quirks certainly get a head start, but what ultimately determines how good of a hero that person is their effort. It's why Mirio was such a legend amount UA in spite of his ability, to the point his considered the person closest to the number one spot.

All this does mean that some people do get left behind. Look at Class 1-A for example. Despite being a group of students that are working together, they are ultimately competing against one another to try and become heroes. And while Aizawa's teaching may be harsh, it goes to show how hard it can be to function as a hero. If someone cannot make it in the hero world, they are left behind because they cannot put in the work to succeed. You either need to be in the work to become a hero or risk falling behind or failing in your work. You quite literally live and die by how good of a hero you are. And once a hero becomes official, most of the work seems to be done on their own, with teams being rarely seen in the story. The most other heroes have been sidekicks, but they are still playing second fiddle to this single entity, cursed to forever live in their boss' shadow until they can strike out on their own. Yes, heroes do work together at times, such as the join operations we see throughout the series, but most of the time they seem to work on their own.

But this individuality is in pursuit of a greater goal. While all the heroes are working against each other for money and fame, they are still working for the same objective: they help those who cannot help themselves and try to maintain peace for society. Even if a hero does not have altruistic intentions at heart, they still have to work and strive to help the most people possible, making it more about the group than the individual. But this is no better represented in then the person who stands at the very top of hero kind. The main goal of Number 1 hero is it is they are the person who is standing above everyone else, hence why so much emphasis is put on the person who actually fills that spot. To both inspire those beneath them to do better and provide a sense of comfort to the masses. They must sacrifice both in body and in soul to make sure everyone can hold on to hope. They are one for all.

As for the villains, this is one of the many ways they differentiate from heroes. When it comes to the villains, they are much more oriented to a group. This is done as a basic need to survival, coming together to oppose the much more well organized heroes, but it goes beyond just that. In working together, they are propping each other up, working far better together than they ever would apart. It is the acknowledgement that they are weak and they can overcome this through working together. Overhaul found people that were struggling to find meaning, giving them a second life under the yakuza. Re-Destro united many people under the teachings of his father and wanted the free use of Quirks for all, as misguided as it was. Even Gentle and La Brava, who are basically two ragtag nerdowells, still found and sense of completeness with one another not only in their complementary skills but in their emotional needs. This contrasts with the more solo working heroes.

Of course, this is best shown with the League of Villains. Heck, they were the inspiration for villains teaming up to get strong, both in the USJ attack and the League as a whole. But this is more so about the core League, especially true after the arrest of All For One. They work together, protect their own, seek vengeance when one of them is wronged. They grow and train together, sticking together through highs and lows to achieve what they want. This in of itself is best represented by Double, always surrounded by his allies and inspired to become stronger to protect them, and Spinner, who finds new power under the branding of villainy and the League. It's likely why so many people in the fandom gravitate towards this ragtag group of villains. They are the underdogs in the story, banding together to better fight against those with much greater advantages then they could ever hope to fight alone, whether they be heroes or different sorts of villains.

But how this differs is that this collectivism is that this all seems to be done for the sake of one person. Despite how much emphasis the villains seem to put on working together, it all seems done an individual's goal. Overhaul, for all of his talk about raising people up, still treats his subordinates as inferiors and garbage that he can toss aside. Re-Destro still sacrifices countless of his own people in the hope that he can kill members of the League. Yes, the various villains of the League seem to have their own goals and dreams, but all of that seems to be down in the pursuit of They cannot achieve their dreams on their own with the society they live in, so they must follow Tomura to get what they want. But what they want becomes superseded by what Tomrua wants. The more and more the series goes on, the more and more it seems to be all about Tomura. It stops being about the group, only focusing on Tomrua and getting him where he is now. It is all for one.

Now this isn't a perfect one to one comparison on either side. There are certainly exceptions to this idea on both sides. Hawks is someone who has his individuality striped away in favor of having an agent that will do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of the public. Stain is a figure who fights alone, trying to reform society in his own way through his actions and effort in a quite twisted manner. However, the comparison is still there for a large portion of the two sides. It's interesting to see this kind of development out of a major manga. While it still has some of the major tropes, it certainly has the roles reversed when it comes to this traditional theme. So why is this comparison here? Well I think it is to make a sort of connection to the nature of heroes. It's like Aizawa said, you can't always rely on other people to help you out a situation. If you want to help someone or help yourself, you need to put in the work and you are the only person who can make it work. It all works back into Horikoshi's inspiration of American comics and more American-style heroes, where people with the will and the way could achieve great things. 

[trashcankitty12]

Musa Headcanons:

She’s sassy, she’s musically gifted, and she could 100% steal your significant other if she wanted too.

Meet Musa Kai, the Guardian Fairy of Melody and the lead singer for her band. (Though her band is usually Riven, Tecna, and Layla... But whatever.)

(Again all headcanons here are for my main verse and my “Left” verse. Thank you.)

-Musa’s a daddy’s girl, whether she’ll admit it or not. There’s not much she wouldn’t do for her father (aside from give up her own music career). And he absolutely adores her and had a tendency to spoil her (though those moments were few and far between after Matlin passed). Ho-Boe is so proud of his daughter and how amazing she’s become, he regrets trying to make her stay out of the music world.

-(He knows it was Mandragora’s poison that killed her, that the medication the Company came up with during the war was only a temporary solution, and not music that killed her. But he felt that she ended up straining herself and going passed her limits and the limits of the medication by continuing to perform.)

-Musa may have been a daddy’s girl, but she was extremely close to her mother, too. She loved singing and learning how to play new instruments with her mother and adored the stories her mother shared of being at Alfea and the (sanitized and child-friendly) versions of her Company of Light stories.

-Musa was absolutely crushed when her mother died and saw her father’s anger surge. She was 8 and confused and scared. All she wanted was her mother. (She did her best to sing at Matlin’s funeral, she tried, but the words wouldn’t come and her father’s hands trembled too much to play his koto.)

-She stayed with her maternal grandparents for a long time after her mother’s death, wanting to give her father space and to let him get his record company back on track. (And his emotions. He’d destroyed so many of their music sheets and instruments and even some of their records… And Musa felt helpless at trying to make him feel better, especially since she wasn’t feeling her best either.)

-Her grandparents encouraged Musa to continue her love of music and helped her figure out how she could get her emotions out with help from her music. How therapeutic it could be.

-(They’d helped Matlin to pursue her passions, and they felt they owed Musa the same courtesy.)

-She didn’t have too many friends growing up, or cousins her age to hang out with. Ho-Boe was determined to homeschool her for as long as possible, wanting to protect her from the outside world and the dangers of it.

-(Musa, like Layla, became an expert at sneaking out of the house, though she has a feeling her grandparents always knew what she was up too and just chose to let her have her freedom.)

-Mostly she snuck out to concerts or clubs, soaking in the music and letting it feel her heart and soul. It always felt so tangible and real to her, as if it was its own entity. Being away from it for too long felt… Like she was dying.

-Musa did have one cousin she was close to, the only cousin her age really. Galatea.

-Yes, Princess Galatea is Musa’s cousin. Her father, King Garomius, is Musa’s father’s eldest cousin. He became next in line after Ho-Boe abdicated the throne to pursue his music career his life with Matlin. (And the two of them remained close, even after Ho-Boe’s other family decided he was dead to them.)

-In fact, Galatea’s Princess Ball was the first and last time Musa ever met her paternal grandparents and her great uncles and great aunts. But she ignored them, feeling that if they felt her mother wasn’t good enough for them, then neither was she.

-(She and Galatea had a great time though, and a wonderful childhood growing up, even if Galatea is two years younger.)

-Like most from the Harmonics realms, Musa has perfect pitch and exceptional hearing. (She can use echolocation if she focuses enough on the sounds. But it takes practice to do and it often causes migraines if done for too long.)

-Her favorite instrument is her flute, even if she doesn’t use it in her performances much. It makes her think of her father and it was the first instrument she had that was hers. (It’s even got her name engraved.)

-Musa transformed for the first time after she’d turned 11 and had been arguing with her father after he’d found her guitar and flute. She’d refused to let them be destroyed and her magic summoned itself to transform her and let her protect her instruments.

-Ho-Boe had been so excited about her transformation that he’d allowed her to keep the instruments and quickly began starting her on more magic lessons and prepping her for entrance exams to the Magical Dimensions’ fairy schools. (Musa had almost, almost been a Beta fairy. Ehhh.)

-When Musa got to Alfea, she really clicked with Tecna. Yes, it helped they were roommates and had to share space so often, but Tecna was just… Everything Musa felt she needed in a friend.

-Tecna’s listening skills and ability to pick up on things made it easy for Musa to open up to Tecna (on her terms, of course). And it made it easy for her to feel okay with zoning out for a while with her music if she was having a bad day (or a depressive episode) without feeling like she had to explain it all to Tecna. Because she didn’t, Tecna already knew and just went with it by going about her own projects.

-(And the day that Tecna asked about learning to play an instrument to help her develop a new skillset for a ‘just in case’ scenario made Musa’s whole year. She figured keyboards would be for the best since Tecna’s already fast with her fingers and accurate.)

-Musa is the fastest flyer out of the girls. And yes, she rubs it in. (Especially to Layla. They have flying races often.)

-Musa has regular tea-time with Flora. It helps her to remind herself to take care of herself (because Flora always asks about her feelings and health) and it gives her a chance to wind down for a bit.

-She loves her pixie, Tune, but the manner’s bit drives her crazy from time-to-time. Thankfully, Tune has learned that Musa’s being blunt doesn’t mean she’s rude and Musa has learned just because Tune is very into manners doesn’t mean she’s pretentious. (And they’ve both really bonded through movies and pretend formal parties with Piff.)

-Musa and Riven have had many ups and downs as a couple and have had their moments of anger, but they both try to tamper it down as they get older. It helps that they’ve come up with an ‘honesty box’. They both make a ‘box’ around themselves and just speak their minds. No judgements, just talking and explaining and, if all goes well, a plan is made to try and fix the problem… Or at least, an effort is made to understand the problem.

-Musa is one of the few who knows just how bad Riven’s mother fucked with him, and she does her best to remind him that the opinions and actions of a bitch like that shouldn’t bother him. She understands why it does, and it’s okay that he feels hurt, but he is a better person than he gives himself credit for. (He’s not like his mother… He’s better than her.)

-She’s the first one to initiate pillow-fights and prank wars within the Winx Group. (Though she’s learned the hard way not to try and prank a sleeping Bloom… A fire fairy that’s startled awake is prone to burning the person ‘attacking’ them. Not fun. Thank the Dragon’s for Layla.)

-She’s also the first one to fall asleep. (Musa’s sort of like a shark. If she stops moving, she’s out. Though instead of death, it’s sleep.)

-Even though Musa loved her short hair (easy to style and kept her cool when it was hot), she wanted to experiment with her hair a bit and let it elongate. So far, she likes it alright, but she may cut it again in the future. Or go for a completely new style. Who knows?

-Musa had the best grades in the group, but only because she fought hard to study for exams and did her best on the homework. (Her mother was an A student. She would be too.)

-Out of the specialists, Musa’s actually pretty close Brandon and Timmy, for differing reasons.

-Musa and Brandon enjoy talking shit together when playing games. They also have a game (bad habit) where when out in public, they make remarks about ‘who walks by to check them out’ and making up ‘interesting scenarios with those people’ just to see what Stella and Riven will do.

-(They were not prepared for Stella and Riven to try their own version of the game, one that went explicit real fast. Never again…)

-Timmy likes to come to Musa for advice on Tecna (and to help get gifts for Tecna without her knowing). And they enjoy talking about music theory and how music can affect the mind and hearing.

-Musa has scars. Lots of scars. Mostly from childhood misadventures, but there a few from her adventures at Alfea and on Earth.

-(She likes Earth, by the way. The music here isn’t as soul-reaching in her opinion, but she enjoys the effort we non-magical beings put into our creative works. Her favorite genre so far is surprisingly showtunes…)

-Musa has a taste for spicy food and honestly the rest of the Winx are concerned that she no longer has tastebuds. At all. Like none.

-She is the second most-likely Winx to get physical in a fight, the first being Layla. (Musa’s getting pretty good at learning how to use a bo-staff and has trained in Melody’s martial art of Gian Liea.)

-Musa loves watching singing-reality shows. She goes on a binge and does her best to figure out what’s liked the most so she can incorporate them into her next performance.

-Musa loves being on stage and getting recognized for her music. She does not like having a whole ‘hero worship’ thing going on around her. (Yes, she helped save the Magical Dimension a few times. But dammit that’s mostly because she lives in the Magical Dimension and the authorities seem to be useless.)

-Musa may or may not have a juvenile record. (And it may or may not have to do with ‘disturbing the peace’, ‘fighting in non-designated zones’, and ‘vandalism’.)

-She’s fluent in several languages from the Harmonics realms and has learned a few of Earth’s languages too. (Not to mention, the language of Magix, also known as the linking language of all the Magical Dimension.)

-During her time at Alfea, Musa was part of the jazz club, glee club, band, and choir. She also briefly played Magi-Ball, but had to quit due to an injury to her knees.

-It shouldn’t be a surprise, but Musa wants to be an amazing music star, just like her mother was. She just hopes she’s talented enough to make it. (Which her father swears she’s does, and that just makes her feel like the best musician ever.)