#you know… that guy.
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I just realized I forgot to draw “Unnamed Groundskeeper” for my Marble Hornets character lineup… I am deeply ashamed and full of regret and will correct this injustice immediately. Thank you, friends, for your understanding of this great sin. Here he is; I promise I will never make the same horrific mistake ever again.
#my post#my art#digital art#marble hornets#art#fanart#groundskeeper marble hornets#you know… that guy.#oops I forgot him please don’t hurt me#maybe I will draw that antique shop lady next#probably not#but who knows#reference
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one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.
#the funny thing is she DOES know who ben affleck is#mom you're the one who made me watch good will hunting!!!#ah well. mommy doesn't know who the guy is#I'm gonna start saying that as if it's a popular meme phrase that everyone knows. maybe i can gaslight pple into using it#....you know what. please reblog this actually. it's what mommy deserves
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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.
the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.
i had like, fifteen raw eggs.
i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.
except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.
so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.
#i feel a kinship with that snake#would that i could be a simple tube#and eat my fill of eggs#but being a person is rather nice too#my wife is a saint#and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy#but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college#and i deserved to just go a little insane#you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs
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"the pvp on this site is brutal" "this website's hatemail game is insane" you guys werent here from 2013-2016. they shot you if you reblogged from someone who reblogged from someone who liked kill la kill.
in fact i disabled reblogs on this post on november 14 2024 because i FUCKING HATE DREAM DADDY and im sick of seeing it in tags in my notifs.
#.din#.txt#vague memories of the last callout post i read. the pvp back then actually was insane.#some of you guys dont know that the hivliving situation was sparked by tumblr pvp. which turned into pve very quickly.#this post has been edited
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i cant stop thinking about a post by @possamble so i made this
inspired by this
based on a fanart by BugsGay on twitter
#help i cant stop unintentionally butchifying falin#im not sorry but#i just want you guys to know that it's unintentional#or is it???#wet hair makes her look more masc okay i cant help it#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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arcane ships be like
i love a show that teaches equality (😭😭😭)
#guys i don't actually ship jayvik but it was necessary for the reference#sorry for the quality btw i threw this together#timebomb#jayvik#caitvi#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#EDIT: multiple people have pointed out that the labels i've used aren't the characters' real sexualities. and they're right#there's actually NO labels in runeterra so i shoulda said m/f m/m and f/f relationships#but you guys already gave this 13k notes so whatever bro#just know!!! they are more than whatever nathaniacolver post labels them as! :)
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as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#asexuality#ace#aro#im so glad you guys are enjoying this stupid post i made at work#okay i wrote that at 3000 notes but what the FUCK is happening#10000 notes on this no effort fmk post and not one aspec i know irl#dgmw im still very happy that yall are enjoying this post but also like. come hang out with meeeeee :(#okay this is getting ridiculous. 40k notes and still no aspec irls. where the FUCK are you all
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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Today's Seal Is: The Wrinkler
#seals#pinniped#daily#I LOOOVE when male ringed seals do this i love katsunori. Did you guys know ponsuke looked like this too....#mod ribbon#ringed seal
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White people are miserable, racist losers period. They’ve even been getting mad at Japanese people for correcting them about Yasuke as well.
#rambling#seen wp go ‘they’re mismembering their history is all-‘#as if they’d know more than the actual Japanese people#comments on ever post about yasuke are full of racist wp arguing with Japanese ppl and telling them that yasuke was a ‘nobody slave’#while Japanese ppl are just like ‘well anyway-‘ on their asses it’s kind of embarrassing#the guy is literally an historical figure bro#how are you mad that everyone from a country that you have such an unhealthy interest in isn’t as racist as you are??? that’s what it’s#giving#I’m sure there are lots of Japanese ppl being racist af too#since antiblackness is global and everyone has a problem with black people simply existing but#they hate us too but 😭#it’s just#expect full blown kkk bullshit as soon as a black character pokes their head out from around the curtain#antiblackness#I see white ppl cry about yasuke every other month man#or at least once a year on Twitter
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Human Bill Cipher
(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)
And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.
#And also: i know#i know the mayor of halloween town. I know guys.#twink death dilf birth#bill cipher#gravity falls#boy oh boy im anxious about posting this here please be nice to me#“the design deoesnt fit the voice” ?? idk man like. what if it did though.#you can draw him! i dont mind#no need to ask (:
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[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled "immortality” after the poem by clare harner (more popularly known as “do not stand at my grave and weep”). the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]
a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”
#dinosaur#evolution#comic#prehistoric#animal#wildlife#paleontology#biology#poetry#comics#original#my art#archaeopteryx has no direct living descendants i know#but i wanted something aerial and the dinosaur to bird connection is classic and well known anyway#also the chicken over any other bird is very on purpose#its the mix of truth and comedy and genuineness and the fantastic in the mundane#its me asking you to see something so wonderful in something taken so un-seriously#and to love it both ways#also the jurassic park thing#where someone saw the reconstructed gait of a dino#and said. hey hang on. i know that walk.#and pulled up footage of a chicken walking#which jumpstarted the entire study into the link between dinosaurs and birds#in the end take whatever you want from it i just thought id provide some insight#i always like it when other artists do#the point is that i enjoy when people laugh at the end and when they dont#and i like it when they cry. i like it best when they both laugh and cry. eeaao intent#anyway mourn your losses but to live is to change#also hi guys i finally figured out tipping after 5 months so no more annoying ko-fi link#the antidote to despair is awe
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Tate deserves to punch Ford so I drew it, felt really therapeutic <3
#juddrawing#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#old man mcgucket#stanford pines#ford pines#tate mcgucket#fiddauthor#if you squint#a lot#Tate i love you so much did you guys know that he is canonically extremelly intelligent and that he scored so high on the SATs#that the grading machine exploded and he considers it a secret shame#im deeeeep in the mcgucket family lore
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bite
#i dont know which one i like more so you guys are getting both.#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#wolverine#deadpool
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this x simon “ghost” riley
cw!: praise, size kink, creampie, breeding kink, bulge, simon’s a nasty dog (and i tried to warn ya)
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simon never fails to remind you how much bigger he is than you.
you’re short? no problem, all those missing inches go to simon. oh wait you’re tall? whatever, he still towers over you.
are you chubby by society’s standards? just means there’s more for him to love. skinny? that’s okay too, he’s always down to eat whatever you can’t finish.
no matter what size or shape you are, it’s a guarantee that simon is still bigger than you. and he always manages to remind you of that in the bedroom.
his large hands around your waist, pounding into you with his thick cock. he obsesses over the bulge in your cute tummy from his size, practically drooling over the fact that he can’t even fit inside you’re pretty pussy all the way.
whether he’s fucking you doggy style or in a mating press, he will always tower over you. he makes sure you’re cum is on his fingers and his tongue alone before he shoves his meaty dick inside you; this man has the libido and stamina of a god.
“g’nna fuck this p’ssy so good, love. fill ya’ up to the brim,” he moans, his thrusts growing more erratic as he feels that familiar heat in his stomach.
you’re coming right along with him, seeing stars while he peppers kisses in your neck. “such a good girl f’r me, g’nna make the best mama.”
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um sorry didn’t mean to let out my inner whore
#writeblr#fanfic#call of duty#ao3#cod#fic writing#we're past the point of conversation#simon ghost riley#cod ghost#cod x reader#sonic the hedgehog#i don’t know why i put a sonic the hedgehog tag on this post but it felt fitting#crazy? i was crazy once#simon riley x reader#x yn#ghost cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley smut#nsft concept#breeding k1nk#did i lose aura guys#whor3#whoreposting#grrrrr
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