#you know what... I can't sleep... I know how to write... I can make my own aki content... let's do it
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What Would I Do Without You?
jinx/powder x reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
summary: you've been through hell and back with jinx, and despite it all, you couldn't leave her behind. (requested by anons) warnings/themes: HEAVY ANGST, character death (reader), blood, hurt no comfort harhar words: 2.6k notes: first time writing something so angsty like this haha i hope this is angsty enough... (this takes place when jinx rescued isha in prison) a repost cz tumblr is shti!
You could run.
You could run right now, escape with Isha and Sevika.
But-
How can you? You can't just leave Jinx alone—not now. Not after everything. Not when she's facing off against this monster.
Why didn't you listen?
Why did you have to play the hero?
Why, why, did you choose to stay?
“What are you doing?!” Jinx screams.
And that's the last thing you hear before you face off against the beast, watching as it launches itself at you-
At the last minute, you duck.
Too slow.
Too slow and too late.
In one quick motion, the beast tears into you.
It claws straight at your stomach-
You can feel the air leave your lungs.
You hit the ground.
Blood blossoms on your shirt.
But… it worked. The beast backed away. It fled.
You managed to scare it. You've saved Jinx. You've protected her. This is a victory.
Yet-
Why do you hurt so badly?
You look down, and your stomach is-
Oh.
Oh no...
Everything is red.
There's blood. There's blood everywhere.
Your blood.
You hear the sound of running footsteps. “NO!”
It's her voice.
“PLEASE, NO!” Jinx kneels next to you.
Your mind goes hazy, clouded by pain.
Arms grab you and move you into a sitting position. She's holding you. “Please, please,” she's sobbing as she puts pressure on the wound. “You're going to be okay. You're going to be fine.” You know that's a lie.
You cough. Red bubbles on your lips and slides down your chin.
“No, no, you're okay,” she repeats. “Don't go,” she sobs. “Don't you dare go. Look at me. Look at me.” She grabs your face, trying to angle your face up towards hers. “Please, stay with me. Stay. With. Me."
You feel so tired. You want to sleep.
But she needs you to stay here.
“Sevika!” she screams into nothingness, holding you tighter. “I need help, please come over here!”
The pain is still there, but the adrenaline is starting to wear off.
Your body hurts. Your eyelids flutter, but you force yourself to focus on her face.
She's crying. Her whole body is shaking. She's a wreck, but even like this, she's the most breathtaking you've ever seen.
You think that if you were to die, you'd want the last thing you ever saw to be her face.
She's still holding your head as she screams for help. “SOMEBODY—SOMEBODY PLEASE GET OVER HERE!”
Your body is getting cold. You can hear your pulse, thump, thump, thump, thump, in your head.
There's an arm around your back, supporting you as you slowly slump against her. Your head rests on her chest, and you can hear her heart beating loudly.
“I'm scared,” she whimpers. “I'm so scared.”
She is scared.
She's scared that she'll never taste your lips, never feel your breath on her neck.
She's scared that she'll never again feel your fingers on her hip, or your hands on her waist, or your face in her hair.
She's scared that you'll never hold her close, or tease her, or say her name in a way that makes her heart flutter.
She's scared that this is her last moment with you.
“Jinx.” You call her name one last time, her heart breaking when she hears how labored your voice is. It sounds so unlike you.
“No, no, don't say my name like that,” she begs. “Don't say my name like that—it can't be. Please, it can't be.”
She's crying, her tears fall onto your face. You taste saline and sweat and sadness.
You look into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes, full of tears. The eyes that made your heart pound faster and faster whenever you met her gaze.
You think of her face, her laugh, her smile. You think of her hand in yours and the way she looks in the light of dawn. You try to remember her smell, her voice, her skin.
You know this is probably the last time you'll ever be this close to her.
You love her so much.
You try to reach up and touch her face, to wipe away her tears. Your muscles protest and scream at the movement. But you try, anyway.
She catches your hand, presses it against her cheek. Her skin is warm and soft, and you memorize the feeling of it. You hope you'll always remember how her face feels.
“I love you,” you manage to say.
Her lower lip trembles. “What?”
“I love you.”
“No, no, no… don't say that,” she cries. “Don't say that. You're staying right here. You aren't going anywhere.”
She can't let you go. Not like this. Not after she just got you. Not after being so close to a life together. Not after finding someone who loves her so much.
You'd give anything for a few more minutes together. An hour, a day, a week.
You want to stay with her.
You want to stay and be with her and see her grow into the woman you know she'll be. You want to watch those eyes light up at a joke and see her smile. You want to sit by her side as she laughs and talk to her for hours. You want to hold her, for as long as you can, and tell her you love her.
You try to muster a smile. “It's okay,” you whisper. “I'm here, right now. I'm… I'm not going anywhere,” you lie.
She nods. She tries to wipe away her tears.
“Please don't cry. You're too pretty to cry.”
She scoffs as she smiles through her tears. You love her like this. Even just hearing her scoff, even if she's upset, makes you happy.
“I'm a mess,” she says. “I'm a crying, snotty mess.”
“I'll love you anyway.”
“Don't say that,” she pleads. “Don't say that, please.”
“Why?”
Her voice breaks. “If you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to be strong enough to let you go.”
“You won't have to.”
“Don't say that either,” she whispers. “Don't make promises you can't keep.”
“I'm right here.” You try to speak louder. “I'm not going anywhere.”
“Stop. You don't know that.”
And you don't. But you want to believe it. Oh, god, if anything, you want to be right.
You reach up again, brush the hair from her face. You try to be gentle so she won't notice how much it's hurting you to move at all.
“Please tell me a story,” you breathe. “Please. I want to hear your voice.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything… anything at all.”
She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and bites her lip in thought. “Okay,” she says after a moment. “I… I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? It's a story, if—if that's okay.”
You slowly nod and take her hand. She's shaking so hard. You run your thumb over her knuckles.
“When I was a little girl,” she starts quietly. “I used to watch the stars. They were so pretty… I'd stay up past my bedtime, just sitting by the window and trying to find the brightest ones in the sky. I always looked for that one star, and I knew I could find it no matter what time it was. I know it's silly…”
It doesn't feel silly to you. You like that she's talking, and even if it's a dumb story, just hearing her is making you feel better.
“I—I wanted to know if there were worlds up there. I didn't know about planets and stars yet, so I'd sit there in my room and imagine all these worlds, full of people who had entire lives I couldn't dream of.”
Closing your eyes, you focus on the sound of her voice.
This is the last time you'll get to hear her talk. The last time you'll get to see her. The last time you'll get to hear her voice. The last time you'll feel her touch. The last time you'll get to be with her.
You smile.
Despite the pain.
You smile.
Even as things start to grow dark.
You smile.
Because even though it won't be for much longer, you know she's still out there.
And she will find her way through this, because you know she can.
Even without you.
“Whenever I couldn't fall asleep,” she continues, “I'd look at the stars and imagine what it was like to live there and what people there were like. I liked to think people on the other worlds would look up and see the same stars and wonder the same things, just like I was. I wanted to see those stars and know that, even if I was by myself in my room, I wasn't really alone.”
“I wanted to know what it was like to explore those other worlds,” Jinx murmurs. “What it was like to be one of those people, with real adventures and fun and families. No rules, just… freedom.”
She keeps talking and talking and talking and-
She notices your hands. Cold. No.
Her hands are shaking, but she reaches out. She reaches for your cheek, caressing it as her fingers tremble. Her hand trembles, and she can't focus on anything but the fact that she's touching your skin, that she's touching you-
She feels the blood on her fingers, trickling down her hand, but she pushes that out of her mind. She doesn't care. You're the most important thing. Always.
She watches your chest, your stomach, waiting for a twitch, a breath, anything to show her that you're still here. That her worst nightmare isn't happening right in front of her eyes.
But there's nothing.
She presses her ear to your chest. Come on, she thinks desperately. Come on, please.
Silence.
Her fingers fumble to find your pulse on your neck.
Nothing.
Her world collapses around her.
No.
No, not like this.
Tears blur her vision. She blinks them away, trying to fight off the tears so she can see you. Can't see you. She doesn't want to. She can't. Not now.
One minute.
Just one more minute, that's all.
Just a few more seconds.
Please.
There's a pressure growing in her chest. It's so tight, it's hard to breathe. She can't breathe. Why can't she breathe? She needs to breathe. She needs to breathe, she needs to breathe, she can't stop crying, she can't stop because you're-
No, no, no. Don't think it, don't think it, don't think it-
“Hey, c'mon,” she says. “This isn't funny. Wake up.” She grabs your shoulders, shaking you. “Wake. Up.”
You're not moving. You're not talking. You're just-
Cold, limp. Nothing's different.
Please, not like this.
“You can't do this.”
Please.
“You have to wake up.”
Please!
“You have to wake up.”
Please, please, please, please.
“You don't just—you don't just get to do this to me!”
This isn't real.
It can't be real.
She closes her eyes.
She reopens them, looking down at your body.
It's real.
“Please wake up! I need—I need you, please.”
She's begging you, to the wind, to the moon, to the stars, that maybe if she pleaded hard enough, hard enough to the whole universe itself, maybe fate would be on her side just this once.
But fate was never on her side.
Life did this to her, it took everything she had and loved and was precious, it took away the only person she knew loved her. Life wasn't good, it was cruel and cold and harsh, and it was taking away everything she had. It was taking everything.
She hates this.
She hates what life was doing to her, what it had done to her. She wants to scream and pull her hair out. She wants to burn the world down and scream at the top of her lungs, at life, at the whole universe, begging it to bring you back.
Just. Bring. You. Back.
How many times had she watched you laugh, watched you smile, and done something as simple as breathing? How often had she watched you speak and talk and joke about something?
How many times had she told you she loved you, how many hours had you lost track of just the two of you talking? How many good moments had the two of you had that she would never be able to experience again?
It had been taken away from her.
You'd never laugh or smile again, that beautiful voice of yours is only a memory now.
And it hurts.
It hurts so much to think about how she's never going to hear your voice. How she's never going to see you walking around the hideout again. She'll never be able to see the smile you give every time she says something stupid.
She'll never be able to hold your hands, to kiss you, to lay her head on your lap. She'll never get to hear you laugh or feel your hands on hers.
She loved you. Every piece of you.
Every smile.
Every laugh.
Every word.
Every tear.
Every kiss.
Every touch.
Every moment.
Every single time.
Every single time you were there for her.
Every single time that you'd given her the best hugs when she'd cried on your shoulder.
Every single time the two of you slept on a small couch just so she could feel safe.
Every single time you'd hold her in your arms.
Every single time you talked her out of a bad mood.
She'll never get to have those again.
She'll never get to experience all of those wonderful, beautiful things again.
And she wants to do it one more time.
One more time to hear you laugh. One more time to feel you put your arms around her. One more time, she wants you to tell her everything is going to be alright. To take her face in your hands, look into her eyes, and say that.
Just one more.
Because what would she do without you?
How would she go on living without you when you were the person who had kept her going for months?
For the longest time, you were the one person that she trusted. The one person that she felt safe with.
Without that, what was the point?
She can still remember the first time she met you. She can still remember the butterflies in her stomach each time she saw you, the way her heart raced whenever you spoke to her. She can still remember that first, awkward kiss, how you held her close in your arms afterwards and didn't let go.
She can still remember the first time the two of you had said, “I love you.”
It was so hard for her to say it because she hadn't felt loved in a long time. And she's nervous, she's scared. But you spoke first, you pulled her close.
It was a whisper, a quiet “I love you” spoken in her ear. And then she started crying, she turned and buried herself in your arms.
I love you.
She'll never hear those words again.
But she can still remember what you sounded like.
That had to be enough.
That has to be enough.
Those three words have to be enough for her.
They have to be.
But they weren't.
Because now, you are gone.
“I love you too,” she murmurs. “So much-”
But there's no one to hear it.
She closes her eyes again, letting the tears roll down her face.
This is what love is, she thinks.
This is what loving someone does to you.
She'd never hated something so much in her life.
“How am I supposed to live without you?”
notes: forgot that singed is literally right there… (might write pt2)
#arcane#jinx#arcane jinx#jinx arcane#arcane x reader#arcane x gender neutral reader#arcane x female reader#arcane x you#jinx x reader#jinx x gender neutral reader#jinx x female reader#jinx x you#jinx x y/n#jinx imagine#angst#heavy angst
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♡ YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME!
what was meant to be a simple heist goes awry when you're interrupted by a shockingly cute security guard & a couple of rival art thieves. did you mention that one of them is kind of your ex?
✧ feat ; ayato, childe, diluc, scaramouche x gn!reader (3.6k words)
✧ warnings ; highly suggestive, thief + cop au, robbery, weapons, reader is a tease, one (1) ginger insult, reader loves bullying men (as they should)
✧ a/n ; be gay do crime that's all i have to say! jk HJSDSJD this has been rotting in my drafts for almost THREE years. i reread it and the writing style was so unserious that i suddenly got motivated to continue it and then i finished it in a night. Yeah. anyways this is my #grandcomeback and also first post of 2025! i really hope you all enjoy this :> if it flops i will cry myself to sleep /j btw this was proofread by the loml @musings-of-miss-j who has a SUPERB harbingers series that u should totally check out 🙂↕️😋
please reblog with comments ! it helps a lot :)
"hey! you there!" a baritone voice behind you yells, shattering the midnight peace of the museum and jolting you out of your reverie. tightening your grip around the gleaming purple gnosis you came here for, you slip it into your pocket quickly before turning around with a smile that would assure anybody of your innocence. "who? little old me?" you bat your eyes, blinking slowly at the man. your eyes have long adjusted to the darkness, so even with his similarly coloured outfit you're able to pick out the faded gold badge at his chest reading 'diluc'. "what are you doing back here?" his tone doesn't change in the slightest as he flicks his flashlight over to you, the beam practically blinding against the dark surroundings.
"it appears that i've gotten lost," you laugh awkwardly, doing your best to feign being a naive tourist, "i was told that there were late tours offered at the teyvat museum." diluc still looks exceedingly suspicious, and as his gaze travels behind you your mind snaps into overdrive so he doesn't notice the missing artifact. suddenly bursting into tears, you run forward and bury your face in his shirt, "i! was! so! scared!" you punctuate each word with an even louder wail and he freezes beneath you, the close contact entirely unexpected. "there, there…" he pats your back with the enthusiasm and warmth of a polar ice cap, and with your face hidden in the fabric you permit yourself a triumphant smile - you've managed to divert his attention for now, at least.
"i am so terribly sorry about this," you begin to apologise profusely before looking up at him with teary eyes, "but would you mind walking me to the exit? i'm afraid i'll get lost again." at his hesitant expression you sniffle loudly, exaggerating it as much as possible until he caves, "fine. but stay close, there's been rumours floating around about artifact thieves lately." when he starts marching away, you hurry to catch up and ask curiously as if you aren't one of them, "artifact thieves?!" "yes. the type to steal priceless elements of history and sell them on the black market," he spits with disgust in his eyes. "oh, how terrible! i can't understand why anyone would do that instead of leaving them here for the public to enjoy," you gush, "surely there are other ways to make money."
yeah, you could become an art thief instead. not that you haven't tried that; you just found it too tedious to craft a believable enough fake and ensure the painting wasn't damaged while sneaking it out. diluc doesn't deign to reply besides a single nod of his head, and you try to start up another conversation, "i suppose you're not the type to befriend random visitors, huh?" the corner of his lips tug up into a barely perceptible smile, "only the ones who appear after closing hours." "can't you make an exception for me?" you wink, though you doubt he can even see it through the darkness blanketing the museum. "hmph," is the only answer you receive, and your chit-chat ends with a dramatic sigh from your end.
to be frank, you couldn't care less whether this ‘diluc’ likes you or not. it's just in your best interests for him to remember you as some flirty ditz who'd leave their head at home if it wasn't screwed on and not a calculating, manipulative burglar. this heist is one to remember for sure though, you don't think you've ever escaped with the goods in your pocket while talking to the security guard on duty. you've knocked them out beforehand and slept with them after, but never during the job, so tonight marks a first for you.
through your eyelashes, you glance at diluc, absorbing every detail about him in a split second; it's a trick you've learned from years of living on the street where figuring out who's going to hurt you and who won't is crucial for survival. he's pretty enough that you wouldn't mind spending the night with him, with fiery red locks tied neatly into a high ponytail and crimson eyes which sparkle like rubies. perhaps you could make this a double heist and steal his heart too!
your train of thought is interrupted as diluc comes to a halt without warning and you bump into his back (which you note is surprisingly toned). "what-" you start to complain, but he holds a hand up which silences you immediately. "i heard something," he whispers, practically inaudible, and you instantly start to babble, "what?! are they artifact thieves?! are we going to die?!" diluc groans before grabbing you and hiding behind a wall, pulling you flush against his torso as one of his gloved hands covers your mouth, "shut up."
now this is close contact; you can feel the quick rise and fall of his chest, his racing heartbeat, and his every muscle tensing in preparation for a fight. if you weren't so preoccupied with the fact that this is delaying your getaway, you'd probably make a stupid quip. actually scratch that, you're going to do it anyway, "at least take me on a date first," you mumble as you shrug away his hand, and he looks at you with the most disbelieving expression, "you can still make idiotic comments in a situation like this? you've either got nerves of steel or you're a total dumbass." "depends on your type," you smile, and he drags a palm down his face exasperatedly, "i- you know what, never mind."
"ow!" "shut the fuck up, idiot. it's bad enough that i had to get paired with you, but if you get us caught i'm going to kill you." "rude. you could just ask nicely." "i have no interest in talking to you." "yet here we are." "can you seriously keep quiet? i'm telling the tsaritsa never to put me in a team with you again." "aw, stop, you'll hurt my feelings." "do you even have any of those left?" "hey! i'll have you know i am a very emotional person." "that's like me saying i'm an upstanding member of society."
you freeze in diluc's arms, running through every curse word in every language you know in your mind. you'd recognise those two voices anywhere. out of all the nights the fatui could have been planning a robbery, it had to be tonight?! archons, your luck is awful. "okay, this has been fun and all, but i've got to go," you start wriggling out of his embrace, planning to smash a window and escape because you'd honestly risk getting caught by the cops instead of the fatui. "what?! are you insane?! there are obviously two robbers there," diluc whisper-shouts, brows furrowing in a peculiar mix of confusion and worry. "and i'd prefer not to die, so i'm going to leave before they come here!" you retort, continuing to slide out of his arms. however, he doesn't relax his grip and you roll your eyes before elbowing him in the stomach. the sudden attack surprises him and he lets go with a groan, which is more than enough time for you to make a break for it.
unfortunately, diluc delayed you long enough that you end up running right into the two fatui members' line of vision. "wait, who are you?!" one of them asks, and the other one continues, "turn around, or i'll shoot you right now." fuck, is all you can think as you slowly rotate to face them with a sheepish smile, perhaps they wouldn't recognise you. "hey, aren't you y/n?!" well, there goes that plan. "no…? who's that?" "nah, you definitely are," the ginger walks towards you slowly before tilting your chin up to face him with his index finger. the game's up, so you sigh, "hey, childe... it's been a while."
"i knew it was you! i'd know that pretty face of yours anywhere," he beams gleefully, and you smirk, "you still find me pretty? never knew you had a thing for criminals." "i do, it's my fatal flaw," he frowns before continuing, "except when they steal my money, in which case they become my enemies instead." double fuck. he still remembers that. "it wasn't that much! just about ten million mora or so, i know you've got tons left where that came from," you hurry to defend yourself. "that's not the point! the point is that you stole my money after i oh-so-kindly let you stay in my house!" childe says, and you're not taking this one lying down, "liar! you invited me over after you saw me at the bar!"
"can you both shut up? i'm losing braincells just listening to this shit," scaramouche cuts in, rolling his eyes so far back you swear they're going to get stuck that way. "really? because when you opened your mouth i think my iq just dropped by 10 points," you retort. scaramouche gapes at you for a second, clearly not used to someone talking back to him. "take a picture, it'll last longer," you wink, feeling the situation slide itself back into your grasp once more; you aren't planning on going down without a fight. "i don't have a kamera, and anyway who wants photos of dead people?" he fumbles for a reply and childe snickers, "cat got your tongue, scara?" "more like y/n's got your wallet," the balladeer jabs back, a smug grin curving his lips at the witty reply. childe's eyes widen at the insult, "hey! i'll have you know that i gave it to them willingly-"
taking advantage of the argument between the two of them, you unhook a rope from your waist and toss it up to the skylight. you're in the common center area of the museum, which has a square gap up to the roof and offers you a perfect shot for your hook to sail upwards and catch at the ledge. the instant you press a button the cord retracts, pulling you up with it. "and now y/n's getting away! so long, suckers!" you cheer as you zip upwards. "isn't that my line?!" you hear scaramouche yell as they scramble to find a way after you. seconds before you slam into the window like an unfortunate bug, you pull out a gun and shoot the glass, watching with glee as a spiderweb of cracks forms across it. thanks to the momentum of you gliding through the air, your boots easily smash through it when you kick harshly as you reach it, and you land with a loud thud on the roof. "ouch," you groan, "that's going to leave a bruise tomorrow." glancing at your surroundings, you inhale the fresh night air stained with the smog from all the polluting factories and listen to the buzz of the highways, busy even past midnight, "nothing like the city."
just then, you hear a thump behind you, and then a deep voice that sounds strangely familiar, "you'll be admiring it from a prison window after this." you spin around sharply, and the sight nearly makes you fall off the edge of the building with surprise, "diluc?!" at this, he freezes, and it's evident that he thought his disguise would be more than enough to conceal his identity. with a cough, he says, "no, i'm the darknight hero." "no, you're clearly diluc. i just met you like fifteen minutes ago and even i can recognise your hair in that stupid suit, it practically glows," you fold your arms over your chest, making idle conversation while your mind races to come up with an idea to save yourself. "my suit isn't stupid," diluc can't stop himself from defending his outfit, just because he had barely any sewing skills did not give you the right to insult the piece of clothing. "it's literally a mask and a black coat."
"back to the matter at hand," diluc- sorry, the darknight hero, clears his throat loudly, clearly eager to change the topic, "you're under arrest." "oh yeah? since when are you a cop?" "i'm not." "then you obviously don't have the power to arrest me, idiot." smarting from yet another insult, diluc tries his best to maintain his composure, "i meant that i'm going to take you in to the police station and then you'll be under arrest." "should have just said that," you shrug, and you can almost see diluc fighting to rein his temper in - this is too easy.
"okay, well, this actually hasn't been fun at all, so i'm leaving," you turn around again and stroll away, hoping that there'll be a ladder on the edge of the roof. you don't really see a diluc as a threat, because to be honest he seems more like a kid playing dress-up. what kind of self-respecting adult who cared as much for the law as he did would choose to be a vigilante? maybe if he got a better costume you could take him seriously. and that turned out to be a huge mistake on your part, because the next moment, a lasso whizzes through the air and loops around your ankles, quickly pulling into a deadknot that would take you ages to untie.
you want to throw a tantrum, crying and stomping your feet at diluc, but what good would that do when this issue sprung from your own cockiness? "listen, how much do you want? i'll give it to you, any amount. i know how much security guards make, and trust me, it'll be nothing compared to what i could give you," the words spill out of your mouth in a jumble, and you seem to take on the role of a confident salesman selling a product you know is worthless. it's embarrassing how much this sounds like a plea. "i don't want money. i want the streets and artifacts of teyvat to be safe from people like you," diluc ignores your further attempts at bribing him, although he does give you a strange look when you offer up a kiss, as if he's genuinely considering it. does this man actually get no bitches?
“ah, a kiss, hm? is that what you want?” you lean forward almost desperately, grinning at him like a maniac, “c’mon, mr darknight hero! i promise i’m a really good kisser~” you lick your lips as if to prove your point, and your smirk deepens when his ruby gaze follows the motion. “just give me a second to touch up my lipstick, ‘kay?” while he’s still stunned from your offer, you fumble in your pocket and pull out a taser. diluc only snaps back into action when he sees the weapon clutched in your hands, and though he dodges, you manage to stumble forward without your bound ankles and ram the buzzing probes into his chest.
a strange noise, a mixture of a whimper and a groan escapes his throat as he falls to his knees in front of you, body twitching like a dying bug. rummaging in his pockets, you find a knife and giggle as you slice through the ties on your legs, “see? this is why it’s always great to have men on their knees for you. i forgot my knife today, so i hope you’ll be okay with me borrowing this.” as he glares at you through blurry vision, a mockingly pitiful smile curves your lips and you pat his head like you’re petting an overzealous guard dog, “now be a good boy and stay here, okay, diluc? ah, sorry, i mean mr darknight hero!” dipping your head, you press a fleeting kiss to his cheek, relishing in his flustered gasp, “i’ll give you a proper kiss next time~” you burst into laughter and skip off, leaving him tied up and blushing with the same restraints he had used on you.
“why is this stupid place so big?!” you mutter to yourself as you whiz across the rooftop. the museum is under renovation, so a lot of the walls of the rear wing are covered in scaffolding and tarp that only serve to slow you down as you try to escape. you’re seriously regretting being a cheapskate earlier and not parking at the official parking lot, instead you had hid your getaway car almost a kilometre away from the location just to avoid a parking fee. don’t judge! things like this are how rich people stay rich. but just as you’re skidding across the glass-roofed observatory, you hear a familiar voice behind you.
“not so fast, thief.”
you groan as exaggeratedly as you can, making a big show of how troublesome it is for you to turn around, “hello again, childe. hat guy.” “my name is scaramouche!” he seethes, scowling at you with a glare furious enough to thaw antarctica. “listen, y/n,” childe steps forward, raising both hands in magnanimous surrender, “let’s make a deal.” “not interested.” you stick your tongue out, slowly backing away. childe continues as if he didn’t hear you, but the twitch in his brow is enough to give away his act, “you give us the gnosis, and i’ll forget all about the money you owe me.” “i don’t owe you, genius,” you scoff, “i stole it. i’m obviously not going to repay it.” “you really are an idiot,” scaramouche massages his temples, looking for all the world like he’d rather be anywhere else on earth than here at this moment.
“well!” childe puffs himself up, pretending that his ego isn’t hurt, “i thought you and i had chemistry, y’know? we could hang out again if you just give me the gnosis.” his voice drops an octave lower to emphasise his last few words, and you feel a familiar shiver up your spine. “childe, we slept together once, and sleeping with a ginger was not one of my proudest moments,” you retort, though you feel a twinge of guilt as childe fusses with his hair, “hey! uncalled for!” to be honest, he’s not wrong. the two of you did have chemistry, and the night you spent together was… well, let’s just say you could barely walk the next day. but dating isn’t your style, especially not when it’s someone who belongs to a rival group in the world of art theft. you prefer one night stands – it’s easier to keep things simple with no strings attached.
“just give us the gnosis, and we won’t kill you. is that a better deal?” scaramouche interrupts, evidently tired of childe beating around the bush. “scara! i was this close to getting them to crack!” childe pouts, and scaramouche rolls his eyes heavenward – if there was ever a time for him to believe in the gods, it would be now as he prays for mercy from his partner’s stupidity. “you’re cracked in the head if you think so,” scaramouche drags a palm down his face and sighs, “you only think with your dick.” “what?!” childe’s aghast at this accusation, “that’s not true!” “i think it is.” you helpfully supply, and that draws both men’s attention back to you.
“whatever! just hand us the gnosis, and things won’t get messy.” childe withdraws his blades, and you realise he’s finally getting serious. scaramouche steps closer as well, and you can’t move backwards anymore, you’re already teetering on the ledge. a fall from this height definitely wouldn’t leave you in the best condition. it’s too early for you to die, you haven’t even seen your favourite artist live yet! “fine. you want it?” you pull the gnosis out from your pocket and a wicked smirk graces your features, “then come and get it~!” you toss the item up in the air, letting the way it sparkles in the moonlight speak for itself as you lean backwards and salute, “see you on the other side, losers!”
with that, you fall off the roof while scaramouche and childe fumble to catch the gnosis.
“hey! that dumbass!” childe rushes to the edge to check on you, only to realise that… you aren’t there?! contrary to what he expected, your bloody corpse isn’t lying there. you’re climbing down the scaffolding like a monkey, weaving in and out of the metal bars until you reach the ground. looking back up at him, childe thinks he can make out a final playful wink before you hop into a black car that’s just pulled up at the back. behind him, scaramouche yells, “childe!” “what is it now, balladeer- what?!” the gnosis is shattered on the stone roof, shards of purple and silver gleaming in a manner that almost seems taunting. “it was a fucking fake!” scaramouche yells, kicking the broken pieces furiously, and childe can’t stop the lovestruck expression that plays across his face, “y/n really is a master thief…” “snap out of it, idiot! what are we going to tell the boss?!”
meanwhile, you’re in the passenger seat of an inconspicuous black car, chuckling to yourself as you toy with the real gnosis. “you’re lucky i told you to bring more than one imitation,” a suave voice sounds from the driver’s seat, “and that i was there to save you.” “thank you, oh great master ayato,” you giggle, pretending to bow, “you’re a lifesaver. literally.” he smirks, gloved fingers tapping idly against the steering wheel, “you could have been in and out. you just like playing too much.” “hey!” you whine dramatically, “it’s not my fault the security guard was so cute!” “hmm…” he reaches out and tilts your chin to face his piercing blue eyes, “don’t say stuff like that or i’ll get jealous, you know?” “s-shut up.” you pout, folding your arms across your chest and turning away to look out the window, “just drive, you blue-haired weirdo.” “that’s no way to talk to your boss now, is it?” he laughs goodnaturedly as the two of you speed away, “i just wish i could be there to see the look on captain wriothesley’s face when he realises it was us again.”
© starglitterz 2025. do not repost or modify in any way – reblog / follow if you enjoyed !
#✏️ — quill writes !#diluc x reader#childe x reader#scaramouche x reader#ayato x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#tartaglia x reader#wanderer x reader#kamisato ayato x reader
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Hey friend! So while I'm incredibly skeptical, I'm not strictly against alternative medicine, like you are. I saw you mention reiki, and thought you might geek out on this article like I did:
https://web.archive.org/web/20200308195914/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/04/reiki-cant-possibly-work-so-why-does-it/606808/
It's called "Reiki Can't Possibly Work. So Why Does It?" and I highly encourage reading the whole thing. It first of all thoroughly debunks a lot of the claims reiki practitioners make but it also details all of the studies that have proven its effectiveness and provides what I find a pretty compelling explanation: that much of modern western medicine is stressful and traumatizing. Of course laying in a quiet room with the lights dimmed while a kind person sits with you and wishes for you to be well is effective. It reduces stress and all of the negative biological processes it triggers, which promotes healing.
The article mentions that for years we didn't understand the mechanism by which acetaminophen worked - we just knew it did. I knew a man who was really into "chakra therapy" in the 90s where he had a set of colored sunglasses that, supposedly, would rebalance one's out-of-whack chakras through light therapy. He found that attending to his throat chakra, yellow, helped him sleep better. Years later, formal studies found that yellow lenses filter blue light and can help regulate circadian rhythms.
When I was really little, my uncle sold magnet therapy products (which claimed to promote circulation?? I think??). I had a huge meltdown at a family reunion and no one could get me to calm down. My uncle put a blanket full of magnets on top of me, and I immediately relaxed. Imagine my surprise hearing that story for the first time as an adult who now uses a weighted blanket for stress.
I agree that people need to be really careful about these practices, about getting scammed, and especially about herbal supplements that can have dangerous interactions. I also think there's an extent to which you can analyze the risks and benefits and say, "Okay, I have no idea why this works but it does and there's no major downsides."
Hey so I get a bit heated in this response but I want you to know that I approached this ask in good faith because I know you and I know that we have a lot of the same values and interests and this touched a nerve that was not at all your fault and once I get past the direct response to the article I think I come off a little less. Um. Like the aggression there is not directed at you, it's directed at the article and at one person mentioned in the article specifically who is part of why my reaction to the article is so not good. But I promise after the last bullet point I come off as less reactive, I think. (I'm also publishing this publicly because I think it may be helpful for people to see how CAM stuff often gets away with a veneer of skepticism-that-isn't-actually-skepticism).
I've actually read that article a few time times, and would like to do a quick rundown on why I find it unconvincing:
She doesn't cite any decent studies on reiki; one that she does cite is just a self-reported questionnaire response from 23 people in 2002.
While we don't know the exact mechanism of action for acetaminophen, we do know that it does work - it measurably reduces fever and in double blinded RCTs produces reproduceable results in reducing certain kinds of pain. The Science Based Medicine authors cited in the article who called for an end to studies on reiki did so both because there is no plausible mechanism of action for reiki (specifically as energy work, not as 'being in a room with a patient person who listens to you') and because there is no good evidence that it works. (And they wrote a follow-up to the Atlantic article; I like SBM but it's quite sneery, as are most of their write-ups of reiki). When Kisner asks "why should this be different?" when comparing reiki and acetaminophen, the answer is: because there is not only no plausible way that reiki *could* work, there is not any good evidence we have that it works better than placebo.
"Various non-Western practices have become popular complements to conventional medicine in the past few decades, chief among them yoga, meditation, and acupuncture, all of which have been the subject of rigorous scientific studies that have established and explained their effectiveness." This one sentence needs probably twenty or so links in response, suffice it to say that western medicine has emphatically not established and explained the effectiveness of AT LEAST acupuncture and the casually credulous way Kisner accepts that acupuncture is effective (effective FOR WHAT?) throws some serious doubt on her ability to assess these kinds of things.
The title of the article is "Reiki can't possibly work, so why does it?" and that's probably the Atlantic's fault more than Jordan Kisner's fault, but she doesn't ever demonstrate that it works. She says she got a buzzy feeling after her training, she says that patients at the VA were asking for reiki as treatment for pain and sleep disorders, she says that people remembered "healing touches" from parents and loved ones and that the same mechanism might be what makes reiki 'work.' She says that reiki "has been shown by various studies that pass evidentiary muster to help patients in a variety of ways when used as a complementary practice" and the two studies that she includes that weren't just a questionnaire were 1) a non-blinded study of heart rate variability post heart attack where the reiki arm involved continuous interaction with a trained nurse and the other two arms involved resting quietly or classical music (so relaxation as a result of additional focused attention by attentive medical professionals could account for this? Why was the control for this study not having a med student sit and hold the patient's hand?) and 2) a study of patients who sought out reiki who were surveyed after treatment and noted improvement on one of twenty mental or physical markers (this study is like, GOLD for an example of a bad study; no control, self-selected participants who believe in the efficacy of the intervention, exceptionally broad criteria for a positive result - I find it really really really challenging to grant any credence to someone who confidently cited this as an example of reiki "working")
Near the end of the article she says "At the same time, this recalled the most cutting-edge, Harvard-stamped science I’d read in my research: Ted Kaptchuk’s finding that the placebo effect is a real, measurable, biological healing response to “an act of caring.” - if she read any of Ted Kaptchuk's research she didn't link to it; what she did link to was a 2018 New York Times profile of him and Kathryn Hall, researchers at Harvard's Placebo Studies and the Therapeutic Encounter program. Being any flavor of journalist and citing Ted Kaptchuk as your source for cutting-edge, institutionally-backed science is disqualifying.
I now need to do some yelling about Ted Kaptchuk.
For clarity: I have as much medical training as Kathryn Hall and Ted Kaptchuk, which is to say: None.
Hall is a microbiologist with a PhD in Public Health, so she at least a background in science. Kaptchuk is an acupuncturist with a BA in East Asian studies and a doctorate in Chinese medicine - notably NOT a medical degree; he was forced to stop calling himself a doctor and had papers retracted after enough people questioned whether the school he claimed he attended even existed and the documents he presented to claim that he was an "OMD" were conclusively translated and did not have any indication that the granted a medical degree of any kind - Science Based Medicine was involved in investigating this because they've been comprehensively anti-quack forever and Ted Kaptchuk has been a quack forever (after recieving confirmation from the government of Macau that Kaptchuk's alma mater was not a medical degree granting institution SBM STILL gave him the benefit of the doubt and had people translate his documentation for final confirmation).
He is also an author on of one of my most beloathed ever studies, which showed that sham acupuncture, placebo, and albuterol all produced the same effect on patient-reported well-being, coming to the conclusion that patient reports can be unreliable and that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma." That fucking line, that stupid goddamned line, gets cited in every piece of woo bullshit about how acupuncture or chiropractic or some scam-ass diet all work, I've run into this study while looking through at least twenty bibliographies and it is one of the biggest, reddest flags that whoever is writing the paper you're reading is full up on some bullshit. Because, see, the paper found that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma" in terms of *patient-reported* markers, but the fucking study found that only albuterol produced an actual effect in lung function. Here's the sentence BEFORE the one that gets cited all the time: "Although albuterol, but not the two placebo interventions, improved FEV1 [forced expiratory volume in one second - the measure for lung function used in the study and used to diagnose asthma] in these patients with asthma, albuterol provided no incremental benefit with respect to the self-reported outcomes." It doesn't matter if the patient *feels* better if they can't actually breathe! It doesn't fucking matter - feeling better but still having poor breathing leaves you more vulnerable to dying of a fucking asthma attack! I hate this goddamned study so fucking much and it's used all the time to claim that placebo can be just as effective as medicine for making people FEEL better but, like, they're still sick even if they feel better! I HAVE HAD PEOPLE CITE THIS STUPID FUCKING STUDY TO ME AS EVIDENCE THAT I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TREATING MY FUCKING ASTHMA BECAUSE I DON'T GET ACUPUNCTURE TO TREAT MY FUCKING ASTHMA. If sham acupuncture makes you feel better when you've got the flu but doesn't lower your fever or make you less contagious, you shouldn't act like you don't have a fever or aren't contagious this study makes me INSANE.
Okay done yelling.
I think this look at placebo in the midst of her article about reiki is really interesting because it's very common for CAM practitioners to claim that it's as effective as placebo - which just means that it's not effective. This is a great explanation from The Skeptic on why placebo isn't and can't be what Kaptchuk, Hall, and the like claim. It's also interesting to me that Kisner didn't choose to link to a 2011 New Yorker profile of Kaptchuk that is somewhat less rosy about his placebo studies and includes this absolutely crushing statement: "the placebo effect doesn’t appear to work with Alzheimer’s patients. Trivers suggests that this is because most people who have Alzheimer’s disease are unable to anticipate the future and are therefore unable to prepare for it."
But to the actual point of the ask: I honestly think it's fascinating how much CAM success probably rides on "well did you listen to the patient and pay attention to what was wrong with them and sympathize with them and help them lay out plan that made them feel like they had some agency in this exceptionally frustrating situation (chronic illness, newly diagnosed issue, totally undiagnosed issue) that they're dealing with?"
I know part of why people with chronic illnesses turn to CAM is because they're ignored and dismissed by allopathic practitioners who are largely looking for horses, not zebras - this is one of the reasons that I'm really big on reminding people that (at least in the US) DOs are fully licensed physicians who use a holistic and patient-centered approach so if you are someone with a chronic illness who has had trouble getting diagnosed or had trouble getting doctors to believe you, swapping your MD for a DO as a primary care physician might be really, really helpful to you.
But the flip side of that is that is that I worry deeply about the question of where harm starts; the example with your uncle is really great because you do have a solid instance of something working but for totally the wrong reason (pressure being the mechanism that actually helped, versus magnets being the reason given by the person who did the treatment). Some of this stuff has very little likelihood of causing direct harm, but has the distinct possibility of having indirect harms, which people in the anti-CAM space generally divide into two categories, treatment delay and unnecessary costs (opportunity costs, monetary costs, wasted effort, etc.)
I'm going to step outside of your specific example and look at magnet therapy generally, which really is a spectacular thing to focus on because it honestly doesn't have any direct harms; nobody is allergic to magnets, the kinds of magnets used aren't strong enough to interfere with medical devices, it's even safer than the whole "well herbalism is sometimes just a cup of tea" thing because there are "safe" teas that can do real harm to large populations! But simply being around magnets is not going to hurt anyone (unless they're swallowed; nobody swallow magnets please).
One of the things that I think goes under-discussed when talking about placebo and CAM is that the people trying the alternative solutions desperately WANT the alternative medicine to work (I suspect that this is why the self-selected study of reiki patients has such a significant finding). They are pulling for it; they may be looking at it as a last resort, or they may be hoping that it will work to avoid a treatment that is more frightening, expensive, or inaccessible. I think this actually contributes a lot to the delay of care that we see with CAM.
The absolute worst case harm I can imagine from magnetic therapy is delaying treatment. Let's suppose we've got a diabetic patient with gradually increasing peripheral neuropathy; they have reacted poorly to gabapentin in the past and are looking for something more natural, and they hear from their chiropractor that magnet therapy can be used to treat neuropathy. They buy some compression socks with "magnetic and earthing properties" and sleep in the socks. Whether through the compression controlling some edema or through the simple desire for the socks to work, they feel some relief from the nerve pain they were experiencing and decide that this is a success. The socks work! They continue wearing the socks with occasional pain, but less than before. However, because they are focused on the lack of pain, they don't notice that it's accompanied by increasing numbness. The numbness significantly increases their risk of injury to their feet, which significantly increases their risk of amputation.
It probably sounds like catastrophizing to say "using magnets could lead to amputation" but honestly I don't think it's that far out of the realm of possibility (every time I post on this topic I get flooded with the saddest stories in the world about people whose loved ones died because of delayed treatment for cancer or heart disease).
The second category of harm is cost, which is honestly pretty minimal with magnet therapy, as long as you aren't spending $1049 on a magnetic mat
or paying a chiropractor to give you magnetic treatments. For some other medically harmless treatments like reiki, cost is the thing that I worry about - while I was looking up information related to the article I found that people are charging anywhere from $60 to $225 a session, and selling multi-session packages for thousands of dollars - and if someone thinks that something works, even if it only works by being in a soothing space where someone cares about you - they'll pay for it.
I'm aware that all of this is also extra complicated because of the cost and lack of access to allopathic medicine - a chiropractor broke my spine because I could pay her $60 per appointment but I couldn't pay $125 to see an MD when I didn't have insurance. People who are sick are going to look for treatment; people who have been denied treatment or dismissed by doctors are going to look for alternative treatments.
But man, I really wish I'd spent that sixty bucks on half of a doctor's appointment because the chiropractor didn't know about the benign tumor that I had that weakened the structure of that particular bone when she did her adjustment; it also didn't make the pain go away, it made a different pain start and get worse because it turns out I was having debilitating muscle spasms that then had a bone injury added in on top.
(Chiropractic, for the record, goes with chelation therapy and many many many many cases of herbalism where it's NOT just cost or delay; people claim these treatments are harmless and they are not. They can do tremendous harm).
But yeah I'm not going to deny at all that all of this would be a hell of a lot better if people (especially marginalized people) didn't have to jump through hoops to prove to a doctor that something is wrong with them, and didn't have to do so in an appointment that attempts to cram whole person care down into fifteen minutes, and didn't have the possibility of bankrupting you. Interacting with allopathic medicine is a nightmare and I totally understand why people want to look outside of it for treatment.
I've just heard too many horror stories and seen too much predatory CAM to cut much of it any slack.
At the end of the SBM response to the Atlantic article, the author (I can't remember if it's Gorski or Novella) makes the point that reiki is a spiritual practice, and that we've known for a long time that spiritual practices can improve a person's well-being in a number of ways; they can reduce anxiety, they can provide community, they can give people a space to feel and express emotions that they certainly aren't going to be able to process in a doctor's office. Spiritual practices can be wonderful, and we know there are a lot of people who they can help. But they aren't medicine, and attempting to replace medicine with them (which I don't think that most reiki practitioners are trying to do, to be fair, but which Ted Kaptchuk DEFINITELY is in trying to 'harness the power of placebo') is a disservice to people who need an inhaler instead of acupuncture.
Also, and I know this was not your point but I have to bring it up because people ask about it whenever discussions of placebo come up:
The placebo effect is not treatment. The placebo effect, whether achieved through deception or when someone says loud and clear "this is a sugar pill" does not improve an illness, but it may improve how a patient *feels* about an illness. In some cases, this may as well be the same thing - if you're dealing with muscle pain because you're stressed and no matter what you do it doesn't go away because your shoulders are always up around your ears and you're grinding your teeth and you're sleeping poorly, then literally just talking to someone who is in an office and says "this is a sugar pill, go ahead and take it" may make your muscle pain feel better, but it isn't going to reduce your stress and it isn't going to last, and if your muscle pain is because you're feeling angina as a result of a partially blocked artery then it SURE AS FUCK is not going to make you better and may mask symptoms that were a warning sign of a much more serious problem. People who are sick deserve actual treatment, and placebo is not treatment, which is part of why Ted Kaptchuk makes me want to tear my hair out.
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DROWNED LOVE, LET ME SEE YOU AGAIN (Finale)
Epic x Reader
CW: Yandere themes, attempted suicide (only mentioned), death of the main character, PLOOOOT
Description: you have forgotten your past with Odysseus and Penelope, but you still have an empty place in your heart. You have tried several times to throw yourself off the mountain and find peace. And when Odysseus wakes up on Calypso's island, a sudden thunderclap sounds that briefly shakes the world...
AN: This is the last part of this story, how do you like the plot? I hope you liked this fanfiction, I had a lot of fun writing it!
Part 6 Wake up!
PREV
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Emptiness filled you when you were torn from your dream. The dream was a paradise for you, you felt free again after such a long time. Free from the gods, free from the pain, free from the emptiness in your soul and your heart. But the dream shattered when delicate hands glided over your sleeping form and shook you awake. When you opened your eyes you looked into the face of the beautiful Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. "Oh my darling, you don't have to sleep out here," her voice rang out, filled with concern. With her help you slowly got up and yawned quietly, mourning your dream. But as soon as you realized where you were, the emptiness filled you again. It locked you in a loneliness that no god in the world could have filled. Aphrodite took you into the great hall, you were like a doll that only moved when someone pulled you behind her. Aphrodite didn't let go of your hand either, it had always been like this ever since you tried several times to throw yourself off the mountain. A god always had a hand on you, whether they held your hand, put an arm around your shoulder or waist, or carried you in their arms. Aphrodite pulled you next to her, and so the days passed in which you lived like a doll.
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Reader POV:
I sat at the window of the temple of Athena, the goddess who still treated me as a human. She was my favorite of all because she didn't force herself on me, I waited for her because she was visiting a mortal. When she came back there was a thoughtful expression on her face, as if something was bothering her. "Lady Athena?" I began, "What are you thinking about?" I completed my question. When she looked at me her gaze softened and a slight smile graced her lips before she answered me. "You know, I once had a boyfriend but we parted ways years ago," her voice rang out, she sounded so serious. "But now I know that I have to make it right again." She said seriously. I nodded at her, she told me about her plan to convince her father Zeus to release her friend. I was slowly becoming curious who this friend was, but she didn't really answer that question. I listened carefully to Athena's plans to convince Zeus. Once she mentioned the name of the friend she wanted to save, but the name sounded unfamiliar to me and I can't remember what it was. "I really hope you can free your friend, Lady Athena." I smiled gently at the goddess of wisdom, I felt most comfortable and understood around her. But she still couldn't fill the void, I knew that she was trying too and that made me feel very guilty towards her.
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On Ithaca the sun was high in the sky, suitors gathered in the halls of the palace and craved the attention of the queen: Penelope. Penelope had now waited 16 years for her husband Odysseus and her future wife (Y/N). She missed them both from the bottom of her heart but also had to be there for her people and her son. The Queen of Ithaca knew that something was wrong because her memories of (Y/N) were also blurry. It was as if something, or rather someone, was trying to destroy the connection the three had with each other. Penelope sat at her loom and continued weaving the picture she was working on and thought about the past but could only remember the time with Odysseus and slowly the memories of the young woman she and Odysseus once loved disappeared completely. Telemachus, who was standing in the large garden of the palace, stared at the statue of his father. In his hand he held a small book that was bound in leather. A diary of his father that he had found back then, in it was written everything about the woman who had followed him into the war after Telemachus was born, (Y/N) future wife of Odysseus and Penelope. For a moment, the young prince's eyes glowed gold. "Destroy it." A woman's voice rang out, and Telemachus tried to ignore it again like he had done for the last few months since he had found the book about (Y/N). He wanted to get to know her and love her like his parents did, but this person was against it.
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??? POV:
I had to prevent her existence from being passed on, and the little prince didn't make it easy. I had already robbed Penelope and Odysseus of their memories of her. And I was responsible for her forgetting her previous life. Now I just had to convince the Prince of Ithaca and everything would go according to plan. My golden eyes took over the prince's again and I finally had full control over the boy. As Telemachus I walked through the halls, ignoring his mother's suitors because I had to destroy this book. I came to a carmine and threw the book in there where I watched as it was destroyed in the fire, this filled me with satisfaction. "Telemachus, what are you doing?" I turned around in shock and saw his mother, the Queen of Ithaca, standing in front of me, looking questioningly into the fire. "Nothing mother, I'm just burning your suitors' letters." I answered and she nodded before stroking his head lovingly. "Thank you, Nyx," she said before turning away and disappearing back into her room. Shortly afterwards I left the boy's body and made my way to Hades, who asked me to do all this.
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The light shone brightly on the Queen of the Gods Hera. "Never once had he cheated on his wife," Athena's voice rang out. Hera, who immediately recognized that Athena was telling the truth, looked angrily at her husband. "Release him," her words sounded sharp and were aimed directly at Zeus. Zeus, who had been sitting completely relaxed on his throne until now, twitched his eyebrows. Had Athena tried to embarrass him? She shouldn't get away with that, she wants a fight? She'll get it. The clouds closed in before it started to thunder and flash loudly. When you saw the storm, you just stared up at the sky.
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Y/N POV
It was strange, my whole body started to shake but not out of fear. Poseidon, who was sitting next to me, put an arm around me to calm me down, but it didn't work. And slowly they came back, memories that had disappeared. Absolutely everything came back into my head like a wave and I stood up before I stared angrily at Poseidon, "You killed 558 men, you monster." I accused him. But before he could answer, my legs started running. I knew that I would never be able to escape from here and that there was only one chance. I could only escape from eternal imprisonment if I...
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Everything suddenly fell silent when a loud thunder shook the world. Odysseus, who had already been imprisoned on Calypso's island for seven years, raised his head when he heard that. Athena, who was supposed to be struck by lightning, stared in horror at your figure that had been struck by lightning. The world stopped turning and everything seemed bright to you. Your body felt an endless pain that didn't last long. The gods rushed towards you and Apollo was the first to reach you, lifted you in his arms and tried to heal you, but as soon as he put his hand on your body, it shattered into a thousand pieces that slowly dissolved into nothing. Your existence had been wiped out, at least for the moment. At the same time in the underworld, Hades sat on his throne, he could observe everything that happened on Olympus. He knew that the gods were beside themselves with anger and grief, but that was the only way he could save you. He had found out about you early on through his wife Persephone and felt sorry for you, so he had sent Nyx with the task of wiping out your existence. But he knew that now you would be able to live a life without all the pain.
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Y/N POV
I tried to open my eyes, everything was so quiet that it was already too loud for me. Every now and then I saw old, long-forgotten memories, my parents, Odysseus, Penelope, the war and more. Then I suddenly felt a warmth shining on my face and a loud noise. "What...?" I said in a scratchy voice before slowly opening my eyes.
°•○☆○•°♡°•○☆○•°♡°•○☆○•°♡°•○☆○•°♡°•
The morning sun was shining in the sky and filling the room of the girl with the (H/C) hair with golden light. When she opened her (E/C) eyes she found herself in her room again. She sat up sleepily and rubbed the sleep from her eyes that was still blinding her perception. When she forced herself to get up to turn off the alarm, she let her gaze wander out the window. It was a beautiful spring day and the sun was shining pleasantly on her face. She let this moment sink in and relaxed completely. The young woman went through the day she had planned in her head. When she opened her eyes she started to get ready, she put on a white long-sleeved blouse and simple black high-waisted jeans. She looked over at a shelf where her jewelry was, she took a gold chain with a sun pendant from the shelf. She had had this chain since she was born, it was tradition in the family that every member receives such a chain as a gift after birth. She also decorated her fingers with gold rings. After putting on matching sneakers the young woman looked in the mirror and nodded contentedly, in the mirror she looked at her desk and remembered that she had to slowly make her way to university. As she went to the desk she looked at a book, it was the Odyssey which they were currently discussing at university. The young woman loved history in every respect, but the Odyssey in particular had won her heart even if it seemed to her as if something was missing from it. Like a person who was never mentioned or was intentionally removed? As the young woman was packing her bag she stared at a fruit that had not been on the table yesterday, a pomegranate….
-Peachyprophet
TAG LIST:
@doodle-with-rhy
#epic odysseus#epic the ithaca saga#epic the musical#epic the musical x reader#epic x reader#odysseus x reader#poseidon#poseidon x reader#greek mythology x reader#yandere greek gods#greek mythology#hades#persephone#nyx#tw death
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IN MY DREAMS | P. SH
— Pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader | (Masterlist)
— Synopsis: Y/N didn't know what fantasy or reality was, always dreaming about this mysterious man. Subtle touches and a wonderful evening bringing the truth.
— Genre: light smut, fantasy
— Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, praising, cum inside, making out, hickeys.
— Notes: I'm new to this writing thing, and English is not my first language. Sorry for not writing so well, I wish to improve and bring better and well-written stories.
The days have been tiring for Y/N, she has always had trouble sleeping, however, since she saw this man at the entrance of her building a few days ago, it has gotten worse. The same thing always happens, she is having a normal dream, but suddenly everything changes in a strange way where he is there. Perfectly beautiful, so real, but at the same time so ethereal. However, whenever the dream is good, she ends up waking up, her damn sleeping problem interfering. When she wakes up, she can't go back to sleep thinking about him.
She was leaving her apartment when she saw him again, he was entering the apartment next to hers. No, he couldn't be her neighbor.
When he passed, she looked at the ground, avoiding him, embarrassed by the dreams and thoughts she had about him. It's not like he knew what was going through her mind, but she still felt ashamed.
At work, she received an order, she didn't remember ordering anything, but she often received gifts from customers thanking her for her work. They were beautiful handmade chocolates. There was a note too.
“Eating a sweet before bed helps you have a light and sweet sleep.” - P.SH
- I hope it really helps. - She said to herself, thinking about the sleepless nights.
Y/N was already getting ready for bed when she remembered the chocolates. She went to her bag and took out the box, then ate one, it was really very delicious. She hoped it would actually help.
It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.
It all started as usual, a normal, boring dream, actually a little irritating. She was in her office, feeling stupid and not being able to complete a project. It was irritating that she didn't even get a break from work even when sleeping.
- You must be very stressed to be dreaming about work.
Y/N looked for where the voice was coming from... there he was, the mysterious man, well now not so mysterious, now she knew he was her neighbor.
As soon as she noticed his presence, the atmosphere changed, they were no longer in his office. They were in a garden covered in snow, it was beautiful, and despite the snow, it wasn't cold. There was a lake with a big tree in the middle. It was a calm and peaceful place. She felt light.
- Thanks. - She thanked him. - Whenever you appear, everything becomes beautiful, it's so good.
- Actually, Y/N, haven't you noticed yet? It is not a consequence of my presence. I'm the one who takes you where I think you can feel good.
Y/N was confused, did he do that? But how? Shouldn't she be the one who controls her own dream? Why would a creation of her mind have control?
Sunghoon noticed how confused she was, so he snapped his fingers as he tried to show her.
The environment changed again, they were now in a beautiful ancient room, it looked like a palace. His clothes also changed.
She wore a white dress, her hair falling in waves, tied to the side with white feathers, red lips.
Sunghoon impeccable as always, his outfit so simple but perfect for him, his layered white blouse and simple black pants.
He took her hand, leading her to the window, the sun was setting. As she watched the sunset, he didn't take his eyes off her.
- I'm sorry, Y/N. - He said turning her towards him. - I sent the chocolates. I come into your dreams every night, but you always leave me. I needed to make sure you wouldn't leave me today.
- I don't understand. - What did he mean by that? - How did you send me the chocolates? This was in real life, not in a dream.
- Yes. I, your neighbor, sent it. That way, you would sleep through the night, and not leave me like every other night. It's frustrating, every time I think I'll finally have you, you disappear.
Sunghoon touched Y/N's face, a gentle touch, but it sent shivers through her body.
So many times she melted at his touches, but they never managed to go any further, that's what he was talking about.
So many nights when she woke up with the feeling of his hands that left her weak under his touches, his lips that spread trails of kisses all over her body. So many nights when she woke up frustrated and angry, her desire for him getting greater every day, but never being able to have him for herself.
He was also tired, so many times he came so close to taking her and she always left him alone.
- Thanks. - Y/N said, looking into his eyes. - I also couldn't bear to always wake up and realize that you weren't there, that it was an incomplete dream. Even if it really is a dream. I will believe that this is all real. So, dream or reality, thank you for bringing me here.
Y/N stood up on her tiptoes, even with her heels she had to pull him by his shirt to be able to kiss him.
They had already kissed in other dreams, but this time it felt more real, she felt perfectly the heat of his lips, she felt the touch of his hand on her waist, the other on her neck. The kiss was calm but intense, she felt the desire he had for her throughout her body.
When they separated, and she opened her eyes, she realized that they were no longer in the same place.
They were now in a huge white room, it seemed so old, so surreal, everything was beautiful.
He took her to the big soft bed, guided her to the center of the bed, making her sit on her knees. She felt increasingly anxious as he tied her hands with a long red satin ribbon. Soon after, with another tape, but this time white, he blindfolded her eyes.
She shivered as she felt his fingers run across her face, down her neck as he admired her.
- You're perfect. I looked for you so much, I waited so long for this moment. - He whispered to Y/N, who didn't understand what he meant, but that didn't matter to her.
He lifted her a little, then kissed her, the kiss was more urgent than the previous one, his hands running down her side, up her exposed legs, while he trailed the kiss down her neck.
- Please, Sunghoon. - Y/N asked amidst sighs. - I need you.
Obediently, he continued, his fingers undoing the ribbons on Y/N's dress, sliding it off her body.
The fact that she was blindfolded and trapped seemed to make Y/N feel everything more intense, every little touch from Sunghoon made her shiver. And he noticed the effect it had, it made him yearn for her even more.
Y/N felt him move away, it didn't take long for him to be with her again. Kissing her again, he made her lie down, she felt the heat of his body against hers.
He took her tied hands and lifted her above his head, then distributing hot kisses all over her body, until he reached her wetness, interspersing between her lips and his long fingers, he prepared her.
Pulling her onto his lap, Y/N wrapped her trapped hands around his neck to hold on.
Moans leaving both of their lips, pleasure coursing through their bodies as they moved.
So many days that were interrupted, finally having the pleasure they had waited so long for.
Their sweaty bodies were pressed together as they sought more and more of each other.
Breathing heavily as the pleasure finally exploded, as they climaxed.
Sunghoon tugged on Y/N's hands, releasing her and removing her blindfold, a smile on his face as they kissed.
Y/N woke up suddenly. A horrible pain in your head, a whirlwind of memories invading at the same time.
She wasn't her. It was another life. Sunghoon was exactly like now, he was a vampire, that's why he could enter your dreams, it was his power. People accused him of having attacked the villagers and were hunting him. Y/N, even though she was just a human, stood in front of him when arrows were shot, dyeing her. Sunghoon cried as she died in his arms.
Dizzy with so much information, Y/N ran out of her room, when she opened the door to her apartment, she found Sunghoon panting. They looked at each other for a moment before he picked her up and kissed her.
- I remember everything. - She said, tears running down her face.
- I couldn't protect you, I hated myself when I let you go. I looked for you every day of my existence. But I finally found you. And I will never lose you again.
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen smut#sunghoon smut#sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon scenarios#smut#fantasy#dreaming#dreams
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Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 22
Summary:
Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?
Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.
Jake misses Christmas, Rooster realizes a few things
AO3 Link
Previous Chapter
The first couple of weeks had been hard on everyone. Natasha and I had spent the first few days curled up in one bed, then she had slept over with Javy more often than not. Proving to the world that Tasha and I were right when we said that Bob was the best person in the world, he had let me sleep over on his couch whenever I felt like it, which had been quite often. We would watch old movies and order take out, ending the night the same way every time by looking at dog pictures.
I was doing…okay, all things considered. Until Harvey sent a text asking if I was still coming to Iowa for Christmas. Sure, I knew Christmas was coming, it was hard to miss the decorations everywhere, but it hadn’t really sunk in that Jake wouldn’t be there until that moment. Somehow I had managed to get through the call without crying, confirming that I would take a flight up in a few days to spend Christmas with them. Seeing my nieces would help distract from the pain of Jake being away and I would be able to spoil them rotten with presents.
But today seemed to be the day of overwhelming phone calls because as soon as I was done with Harvey, my agent, Jason, called.
“Heya, D. How’s the draft coming along?” I rolled my eyes, laying back in my bed. Jake’s pillow still smelled like him, mostly because Javy had stolen Jake’s cologne for me to spray on it, and I found myself sleeping on it more often than my own.
“You’ll get the pages when I’m ready to share them, nosy,” He laughed. I could imagine him sitting with his feet up on his desk, tie hanging loose around his neck. “How’s the scheduling for the book tour coming? Any way we could do it in the next six months?” Keep busy. That’s what Penny had said to do and being away from the apartment for a month or two, every second of my day being directed by Jason and Grace, would be the perfect way to keep my mind occupied.
“You’re never this eager to do a book tour,” Jason laughed again. “I can schedule something out for March, four months should be enough time to book everything. Grace will be ecstatic, I’ll call her once we hang up. Ooh, I could conference her, one sec.”
“You don’t have to-”
“Whaddya want, Jason?” Grace’s thick Jersey accent came over the line and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
“Our little angel is on the call, she wants to do a book tour.” Grace gasped,
“Hell must have frozen over, good lord. Daisy, is this true?”
“It’s true, dang, you two don’t have to act like I physically run away from you guys to avoid public engagements.” As soon as I said it, I knew what Jason was going to bring up.
“Do you remember Tucson?”
“Nevermind, proceed with the roasting,” I groaned, “I deserve that.” Grace and Jason began to regale me with all of the times I had claimed to have a cold or a headache to get out of events.
There was still no news on whether or not they would be able to talk with Jake and Rooster during the deployment, so Penny had told me to write letters but not send them. Letters from loved ones were notorious for getting lost, so it was more of just an exercise in letting out my emotions. So that’s what I spent my flight to Minnesota doing, writing out letters in the cursive scrawl Jake had once called pretty, detailing how much I missed him, what was going on at home, and other random thoughts that popped into my mind.
My suitcase was filled with presents and enough warm clothes to survive the drastic weather shift. Christmas wasn’t the same without snow and I was happy to see that Minnesota had gotten the memo, the ground being covered in inches of the powdery whiteness.
“Auntie Daisy!” Sarah screeched, waving excitedly beside her sister, Haley, who was also waving. Harvey looked good, his ginger mustache waxed into a handlebar, wearing matching Christmas sweaters with his wife Emma, whose blond hair was held up
“Hey there, babies!” I sweep both of them into a tight hug, letting their giggles wash over me, the love making me feel warm from head to toe.
“It’s so good to see you, DeeDee,” Harvey pulled me into a hug, kissing my temple, his mustache tickling me. “It’s been way too long.”
“God, did you get even taller?” Harvey had long surpassed my height but it was still fun to tease him, “Emma, you must be feeding him well.” I hugged my sister-in-law with a grin,
“You know me, Harvey’s been doing all the cooking. I’m glad you’re here though, his cooking’s got nothing on yours.”
“I see what this is,” I laughed, feeling lighter than I had since Jake left. “Invite me here just so I’ll make lasagna for you.” God did it feel good to be around family.
The days until Christmas were filled with festive activities with the girls, going sledding, building snowmen, making homemade hot chocolate and marshmallows, and decorating too many gingerbread cookies for my wrists to handle. On Christmas, after everyone had gone to bed, Harvey and I had sat down on the couch one night with hot toddies and gingerbread cookies, curled up under blankets.
“So, how’s everything been going with that pilot of yours?” Harvey sipped his mug of tea and bourbon. I smiled, feeling a tinge of sadness thinking about Jake. When did I go from being completely opposed to a relationship to being so stupidly in love that I couldn’t go a few days without missing one person?
“He wants to get married,” Harvey’s expression took on that of a teenage girl who just got told Taylor Swift was coming to town.
“Oh my God! That’s so exciting, I mean, do you want to get married?” His excitement was understandable, I had loudly proclaimed my resistance to get married many times in the past, much to my brother’s disappointment. My face must have given the answer away because he gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. “Oh my God, you do.”
“Kind of want to have kids too, one or two of them, watch them run around with the girls and have fun.” Harvey looked like he was about to pass out from happiness. Honestly, I had never thought that I would end up being this happy in my life, not since the day our parents died, and it was kind of surreal to even be voicing this aloud, especially to Harvey. “Kind of want to be Mrs. Daisy Seresin when he gets home from wherever the hell he is.”
X
“Stop grinding your teeth, you’ll get a headache,” I reminded Hangman for the third time that day. Poor guy had been on edge since the moment we got on the ship and I was under strict instructions from Daisy to keep an eye on him. “One day at a time, man, we’ll get through this.”
What we had assumed would be a standard deployment, hanging out on the ship, flying recon or just for practice, and getting to call home every night, had turned out to be a top-secret mission that needed them on standby just in case. This meant that there would be no phone calls home, no letters unless sent through command staff, and not knowing what was going on unless they got the go. The uncertainty of it all was killing me but nowhere near as bad as it was Jake.
I understood. I mean, he wanted to get back to his girl. Back to Daisy, who, if I was being honest, was way out of his league. They were clearly in love, the kind of love that no one could deny or question, and again, if I was being honest, I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of. Though, both of us going insane being separated from our partners probably would’ve resulted in a stolen jet and joint court-marshalling for being AWOL and theft of government property. So maybe it was a good thing that I wasn’t in love.
“This is going to be the longest six months of my life,” Jake groaned, unclenching his jaw. I crossed my fingers that Daisy would somehow get letters to Jake through command, for my own sanity if nothing else.
Next Chapter
Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @hookslove1592 @closetspngirl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @closetspngirl @shanimallina87 @owenniasstars @cevansbaby-dove @caitsymichelle13 @bigstrongblackheart @mrsevans90 @djs8891
#bet writes#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#jake seresin#fanfic#jake seresin x oc#hangman x oc#wildflowers for a hangman fic#bradley rooster bradshaw
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Hello! First of all, i hope you are having or had a good day <3
I really like your writing! So I was wondering if I can do a request for a fic with the reader being the daughter of Hypnos and comforting/helping Percy with his nightmares?
It could be of the two of them in an established relationship or that, to comfort him, she confesses her feelings/Percy admitting his feelings for her since the nightmares make him afraid of losing her?
If you can't or don't feel comfortable that's fine, tysm 💞
Embodiment of Comfort
Percy Jackson x Reader (Gender-Neutral)
Warning !! English is not my first language, there might be so mischaracterizations.
Note: I'm not exactly so proud of this work, I was really tired when making this, so I apologize for its bad writing...
You've been friends with Percy for quite a while now. Your friendship started around his first week in camp, but you didn't expect anything from it.
That was until you realized how you've been silently gushing over him, the son of Poseidon—Percy Jackson—a name that everyone around the camp knew and admired.
You couldn't blame them though—black hair, tanned skin, toned body, great personality, kind of a dork, what's there to not admire?
However, being a child of Hypnos meant nothing to you. It felt really dull... Mostly because everyone just seems to know you as someone that sleeps all day and has nothing to contribute unless "sleep" was the talk.
If you were being honest, the thought alone made you feel even more disappointed knowing your childhood crush was simply just out of your league.
“...Gods, I hate that guy.” you murmured against your pillow. To be real, you didn't really hate Percy—maybe you did, but only since he's been an annoying buzz in your head all day long.
Maybe a part of it was your fault, but you'd defend yourself and say that at least more than half of it was his fault.
“He doesn't even have to be all that charming... Those black hair, sea-green eyes...” you paused, hugging your pillow, looking afar bit too starstruck before you began once more, “especially those sea-green eyes.”
As you were zoning out on your bed, you heard a voice cut through your thoughts—a voice that was, unfortunately, familiar. “Sleepy?”
Shit.
You blinked, averting your gaze towards him while your mind panicked and you swore you've said every cuss words known to man.
It wasn't intentional—genuinely, you felt like an idiot saying those words out loud—you felt even more stupid, knowing that you've completely forgotten that Percy was here all along.
“Percy, uh...” you started, but now you wished you could go back in time for a few seconds so you were able to just shut yourself up.
He looked sleepy, his voice sounded groggy as well, however his grin seems to just strengthen against the pillow he was snuggling with.
“So, I take it you have a crush on someone?”
“No!”
“Right, right.” he says, adjusting his position to lay on his back like a starfish, staring at the ceiling of the bunk bed. “You hate the guy. Got it.”
“Shut up.”
“Will do.” he says, motioning a ziplock on his mouth, but the cheeky, almost smug-like grin that was plastered on his face never faltered on his lips one bit.
After a few moments of silence, he motions to be unlocking the imaginary ziplock on his mouth, his hands finding his own hair while his eyes remain shut.
“What now?”
“Soo... thank you.”
“Huh?”
“For your service.” he joked once more, only to receive an unimpressed glance from you which made him shut up. At least for a moment...
“No seriously,” he says, propping himself up on one elbow as he glanced up at you, “thanks...”
“If I'm going to be real honest with you, sleep has never come easy for me. Especially during my first week in camp.”
You blinked, remaining the silence you've stilled, letting him pour out his words while his gaze would often shift from one furniture to another.
“I just want to thank you for just.. being there,” he sighed, “If I'm being real with you, sleepy,” he murmured before he continued, “nightmares have been gnawing at me left and right.”
“And really, your comfort—no, your presence alone has helped me. I don't know if you even realize it, but you feel like comfort itself, as though the very essence of it was mused after you.”
“What are you saying?” you felt your breath hitch at his words.
He paused, looking for any uncertainty in your eyes. Despite his shaky nerves, he looked into your eyes, letting out a breath that he didn't even realize he was holding.
“...I like you.”
...
“Was that too forward?” he chuckled lightly though his laugh felt breathless as if he was just as nervous as you were about the whole situation.
“Sleepy?”
“Sorry, sorry, uh,” you snapped out of your focus, however your words couldn't get itself out of your throat like it was stuck there.
Despite his panicking nerves, he patted you on the back as if to help and ground you on what was happening. “Relax, it's just me.” he chuckled lightly.
“Do you really mean that?”
“That I like you? Of course I do. Why wouldn't I mean it?”
You didn't know how to begin your words, the only sensation you could feel was the way your palms start to form its cold sweat. “I like you too, Percy. Might I now add that I have been crushing on you for quite some time now as well?” you uttered out sheepishly.
“Really?”
“Mhm,” you smiled, “I mean it—like for real. You're like one of the coolest person I've ever met and you don't even have to try.” you say, feeling his hand tangle in yours.
“I try really hard, actually.” he chuckled lightly, brushing his hands against your hair, tucking it in behind your ear before he pressed a quick, kiss on your cheek.
Hesitantly, you held his face in your palm, feeling him lean onto your touch as he tops his hand over yours while his thumb skimmed through your knuckle.
“Thank you, sleepy.”
“You don't have to thank me for anything.” you leaned in with a smile to draw a peck on his nose.
Have a request? Feel free to send one in!
#pjo#percy jackson#pjo x reader#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#percy pjo#percy jackson pjo#percy jackson x reader
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hey so I made this little thing. feel free to use for. whatever
explanations and examples under the cut
wearing each other's merch is just. one of my favorite things. whether by coercion or choice, it's funny and sweet. to me
michigan with ohio's blanket is pretty specific, but it shows up in two of my fics (chapters 12 and 13 of "minnie's scrapbook," and my "van horn" duology), so I figured I might as well include it
everyone else knows: even when ohio and michigan are blinded by their rivalry, the rest of the states (or at least the midwest) are not oblivious to their mutual crushes!
love confessions is pretty generic- as are literal sleeping together, h/c, fluff, angst, and smut- so I'm going to skip past this
ohio and michigan mending old wounds is very special to me. I don't have much of it myself (what can I say? I'm a fluff writer), but it's great to see how others do it. @xechoecho88x is very good at this <3
historical fics are more common than usual for this duo, I think, simply because of the fandom, and the past of these two states. I myself have indulged in writing fics rooted in history a few times, especially "tell me do you hate me" and "or do you want to date me," or as I like to call them, my "van horn" duology)
bickering!! really, is it an ohio / michigan fic without some bickering? (banter might also fall into this category, if done a certain way, haha)
us writers in the wttt fandom have a specialty in repressed feelings, I think. it works particularly well for these two because this is definitely the type of relationship where denial comes first, and far be it from them to admit they care about the other
watching movies together is another one that I included because I realized that it happens strangely often in my fics. notably, "classic hallmark" and "so wrong it's right."
nicknames!! a highly debated topic by ohiogan scholars. (other highly debated topics include the infamous ohiogan vs ohiomich debate. /lh) what various names does ohio use to avoid saying "michigan"? does michigan call ohio "buckeye" or "buckeyes"? (I'm in the minority here; I think it's "buckeyes." it just rolls off the tongue better.) whatever the nicknames might be, if they're in the fic, you can mark it on the box
ofc, I would be remiss to not include The Game. this is the basis on which I ship them. every year ohio state and university of michigan fans meet up to fight to the death- or at least to the end of the fourth quarter. it's football. I'm talking about football. whether it's a scene in the fic or just the basis of their teasing, it's so much fun to read and write. go bucks!
ruining the relationship is another one that I included for @xechoecho88x. (sorry for adding you twice in the same post. I can't help it that you impacted my ohiogan heart so strongly)
there are plenty of fics inspired by music in general, but there's something special about ohiogan fics inspired by music. and I just love writing fics with song titles, ok? I have the aforementioned "van horn" duology, "(never) let you go" (title from "mary on a cross," inspired by an edit from @mittenstroll), and "so wrong it's right" (title from "to my enemies" the theme imo of these two). there's also @xechoecho88x's marvelous "singing until the end." (sorry for adding you again, echo!)
only one allowed to hurt you is me: I love the ohio and michigan rivalry, but you know what I love more? ohio and michigan being protective of each other. it just does something to me /pos
ohio has his whole thing with not saying michigan's name, so there's something special about moments when he does. I myself have used this trick many times. I just can't get over ohio saying it- whether by accident or intent- and michigan's reaction is just- cjskmslslspwl. they make me feel things
yes, I have another box about them being protective of each other. can you blame me?
aspec michigan was another one I did for @xechoecho88x. (I swear this is the last time I'll add you!) it's just. aspec michigan heals me. ohio being supportive of aspec michigan is even better
toledo war mentions, well, how could I not include this? whether it's a historical fic or they're mending the rift between them after the fact, I love when there are reminders of their past <3
go forth and enjoy ohiogan. they are so so special to me
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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write to me
#I drew this when I was VERY stressed (days ago)#bee doodles#Tuvok/Janeway#Janeway/Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager art#letter writing and the preparation of warm beverages#Janeway & Tuvok seem like they'd call each other things like 'my other half' and 'my moral center' and 'my dearest companion' but then you#ask if they're dating and they're like Noooo. Absolutely not. and they're not but they are coming into each other's rooms at night#because neither of them can sleep well and talking about Mark & T'Pel while they lean against one another (holding the warm mugs instead of#hands - that comes later when they can pretend that maybe they were asleep)#because they're the only ones who know Mark & T'Pel - you're the only part of my old life that's here and that's a comfort and that's a#tragedy (because I care about you too much to want you here but I need you too much to wish you were anywhere else - and maybe I'm too#selfish too and too afraid to be alone) and when they're talking about Mark & T'Pel they can ignore the fact that they're leaning against#each other and how good the weight feels and how much their chests ache and how much they want more. Not even sex or a kiss but something#steady that lasts. (hold me close even if you can't tell me it'll be alright)#two people who're loyal to everything - too loyal to ask for what they want. They aren't dating because they're married to ghosts now and#to leave that haunted house would be to admit that there's nothing left there - that the grieving's done - and if the grieving's done then#the loving is too. It has to matter - it has to be present to be real (follow Starfleet rules follow Social rules follow the rules we make#up on the fly and honor as if they've been longstanding. Build a little life with me. Define strong lines we cannot cross. Look into my eyes#to make sure I'm not longing. Double check. Triple check. Don't look away. Please.)#When I want to hear your voice I'll read the words you've written - but I won't ask you to stay#Kathryn Janeway#Tuvok
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Should make a pain killer that actually kills (or even touches) pain
#not that I have access to ultra hardcore stuff#but even when I had... pretty sure it was vicodine for my wisdom teeth; it didn't do a thing for me#cbd based stuff seems like it maybe helps; certainly does more than nsaids which do nothing for pain (great for inflammation though)#but I just... I'd really like something that actually makes my muscles and joints feel like... good; unpain#I'm sure it would be classified as addictive whatever it was but like... fuck man... I just want to not hurt#I can't tell if I have chronic pain cause... I kinda forget to pay attention when I'm hurting a lot of the time#I'll just... kinda realize I've been hurting bad all day and just not really focusing on it#and I also don't know how often it happens; if it's once a day or once a month or what; not great at noting that stuff down#but man... I don't even like most meds; so many meds either do nothing for me or make me feel like shit#like... benedril? however you spell it; someone gave me some once said it would help me sleep... help me be awake feeling like ass more lik#but like... love to see if muscle relaxants actually like... relaxed my muscles; but you get it; you get why I'll never be able to try it#though honestly I think therapeutic massage might help me a lot#but my doc says that really only gets authorized by physical therapy and... well for me physical therapy is useless#cause I forget to do the exercise; like it's me failing a physical therapy; not a probably with physical therapy#if I ever think I can keep up with it I'd love to try physical therapy for my back again; but I don't want to waste all my chances at it#not when... I descriptively didn't do it when I was in it before; I'd never remember to do any of the exercises#anyway; bonus story from when I was in urgent care when the infection came back (that's still never been solved)#I tell the doc 'last time it tore open a drainage hole it was the worst pain I've ever felt'... cause it was#I said 'I'll need something a bit stronger than an nsaid cause the nsaid did nothing but cut inflammation last time'#she's like 'don't worry; I got you'... wanna guess what she gave me? a newer nsaid#it didn't do shit; I was just lucky and it wasn't as painful... maybe the old drainage hole tore open easier this time#but I didn't even take the nsaid she prescribed; so I'm gonna say it wasn't that med helping#like I get it; you don't want to give opioids... and would it shock you to know that wasn't what I was looking for either#there's gotta be something between nsaid and fentynol man#...well... maybe the cdb has almost got my muscles... hurting less at least; only taken all this time I've been writing#they still hurt for sure... I don't know... get tired; you know?#mm tag so i can find things later
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Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️🔥
YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!
so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.
and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.
but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)
anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history
#I love this question#I also think it's important to say#albeit it's a bit silly#when I read chainsaw man I was going through a pretty hard time in my life#I'd gone through a bad breakup and I felt very lost#I was reading a lot of manga because I needed something to do to get my mind off things#I think that's part of the reason why I got attached to aki so quickly...#but he means a lot to me because of that#aki helped me to become myself again#also I'm sure I've said this before#but I started writing fanfic because I'd read all the fanfic of aki and#I still needed more#I thought it would be fun bc I always enjoyed writing but it'd been years since I did#suddenly on a random night at 3 in the morning I was like#you know what... I can't sleep... I know how to write... I can make my own aki content... let's do it#and I wrote that first fic like there was no tomorrow#(don't read it btw it sucked BAHAHA)#I posted it on ao3 for fun expecting no one to care but when just a handful of people read it and said they liked it I was overjoyed#I'm grateful I started writing again... I'm glad I get to do what I love and write about what makes me happy#and people actually enjoy it?? THAT'S CRAZY#sorry for ranting too much#can't wait to see where this journey will continue to take me#ask mags
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so sad for absolutely no reason
#👆 girl who stayed up till 3 am talking to her bestfriend about how depressed and trapped we both are for about 4 hrs#it's like that gracie lyric#you have to laugh before you start to cry😭😭#like ab toh funny bhi nahi lag raha jokes bhi nahi banaye ja rahe#oh but i love her so much i absolutely LOVE people with whom i can just be sad#im tired of people who constantly try to make the sadness go away or try to cheer me up#like sometimes you just gotta sit with your feelings na#at one point she was ranting and i said mere paas kuch kehne ke liye bhi nahi hai kyunki it literally feels like im listening#to my own thoughts on my own lying in bed at 2 am like hum itna same kaise sochte hai😭#and she laughed and was like but ye sahi hai na aise sochna like it feels wrong but it's the truth and im like i don't even#know but oh it's so good to not pretend to be okay#we're so similarly hopeless and tired cause like one point mein inevitably we talked about#the future living together our apartment and then i was like mujhe bhi ye chahiye but mujhe itni umeed uth chuki hai life se#ki koi excitement bhi nahi aa rahi like i already know ye sab kuch nahi hone wala and she's like haina same like i want to say#ki we'll do this and that but im like lol not gonna happen ab i can't look forward to things in the future im like if im living it then ok#then i can accept ki oh ok this is really happening im happy now wow but usse pehle nope#and we were talking about ki like yaar future toh ab dikhta hi nahi hai kya hoga it all feels so blurry and like a dark tunnel#atleast bachpan se we knew what was next school college but now it's like now what?#i know all these thoughts and feelings are pretty common and probably everyone's facing this but bhai.#it's fucking hard i didn't know life was gonna be like a constant battle where it kicks you down#again and again and again and you're bloody and no energy can't get up but you still have to because if you don't you'll sink#soooo deep in that state ki bahar nikal hi nahi paoge#OKAY 8 hrs sleep mandatory for me what the fuck why am i writing a ventpost at freaking 11 am girl go have lunch or something 😭
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another day another consumption of vegetables
#just me hi#i am warding off the scurvy!! yippee !!!#not that i've ever Had scurvy to be clear. i just like to know i am warding it off 👍#the wizard of Eating Plants (it removes Poison Effect (scurvy))#/didn't realize how nice of a lunch that sandwich i take to work is. it's got the grains it's got the meat it's got the vegetables#what CAN'T she do?#hydrate me. but that is all#OH. AND tomatoes! which are a fruit :3#/alsooo didn't forget my waterbottle thing there today by accident which is dope 💥#left it there like 3 days ago and couldn't pick it up bc the building was closed for new years ;w;#good thing they have a sink there cuz i washed it when i got back but i don't think i rinsed it very well#That or i was smelling the handsoap from the bathroom on my hands when i was taking sips and neither of those sound very cool so !!#//n holy shiz i was falling asleep at one point cuz i didn't sleep right last night KGSFH#lunch break rejuvenated me :3 that and talking w/ flame while i was sitting on the floor behind the desk to do stretches#ten minute stretch breaks are pretty good actually the only thing is that i'm not sure doing splits there is a good idea Lmaooo#i can have normal behaviors when given a small slightly-hidden space and a bit of free time. do you think doing full splits is a good idea🎤#//what else Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#oh i was greatly(minorly) afraid that my mp3 player would die while i was working bc i turned her on and she was on half battery ?#i thought i'd plugged her in last night but apparently not :/ </3#it's alright though we survived. For Now#hfsh#//but YEA what else#i need to write </3 or i'll explode </////3#i have some really cool ideas but MANNNNNNN#i am so bad at. doing the ideas <////////////////////////3#god created me to make stuff and then said Actually. no#which to be honest is fair. for many reasons kfshvhjg#BUT. buttttt gehehgehehg#i do have Ideas#and i gotta do somethin about em so i will probably get around to it... maaabeee
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I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."
I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.
Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.
#tales from diana#making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic#my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me#when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying#or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through#but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt#for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me#he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god#he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me#he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself#before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself#it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor#this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow#he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude#i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy#who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect#basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him#and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd#his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe#but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect#and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues#but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how#if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser#we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright#like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.
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