#you know what everyone feel free to send me some suitor designs in my ask box and I'll include them in my wisdom saga animatics

[gigizetz]

🫡

OMG THAT`S GENUINELY SO BEAUTIFUL

o7 for dead X eye guy he shall never be forgotten

[deesseshesca]

PAC What lesson is this situationship trying to slide into my DMs? (18+)

You are stuck giving all that you got ...

ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (BLACK FRIDAY OFFER)

PILE 1 

Y’all are POC. 

You use your love to destroy. Stop talking with me by using bad poetry. Enough is enough. Y’all should stick to math. Not everyone that loves Lana Del Rey is meant to be a big writer. Some are meant to be engineer and is ok pile 1. Your guys are gashlighter, manipulators, whore but never broke. Y’all will use love to eat something. I feel like y’all just get in a relationship to get free food. I just got a vision of somebody in their pj in their bed choosing from their roaster who is going to have the pleasure to pay for their food. Some of y’all are staying with your cheater of a partner because they always offer amazing gifts when they feel guilty. Designer bad, baecation and concert ticket. Y’all may be in a relationship and you still fucking on your boy bff. I just heard y’all say ‘’ You always need to keep an eater close (wink)’’. You felt so safe to share that with me … Anyways Pile 1 … stop being a red flag. (Hum .. hum before y’all retirer can u show me how ? (my spirit guys looking at me) What ? You would do it 2 for a check …) 

2. You need to stop being dumb. Y’all need to be more careful. You're out there with a restaurant name in your contact, you don’t delete text and nudes. When your partner finds out you stay defensive when you are caught on 4k. I just got a vision of your sex tape and we can see you clearly, giggle and  shit. Not y’all in your Kim K era. Babe you're not Future and a tower moment is coming your way. Yes. you will pay for all the heartbreak you did. So enjoy because what’s about to hit is inevitable. C’mon you did not think this playing around is going to last forever. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

Text

The person you are currently messing with, they love to keep up with you. They love to text you throughout the day the most basic things. They love to send you memes, tiktoks, reels. Y’all may even still be doing Streaks. They love taking pictures of you without you knowing it. They love your face when you are focused on a task or doing your homework. They love sending you money. Unlike Pile 2, your person loves when you are asking them instead of them giving it to you. Is like they love to feel and hear in some shape way or form that they are needed in your life. Almost like they are in competition with other suitors and they think that they are winning. 

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)

PILE 2

I’m getting a very sinister vibe from y’all. Y’all are maybe worshipers of Lucifer or be very deep into the goth culture. Y’all may be self-harming or you are going through extreme depression . Y’all may have lost someone extremely close to you. 

This is a DUAL POV. Your partner came in  fucking strong and did not want to let me go. But I don’t ever feel like they are going to be reading this, that’s why for their POV, I still use ‘’ They’’. 

Feminine Energy. 

You need to learn to accept the love you give out. You have a heart full of love and you are not scared to pour it into other people's cups but when it comes to you, you are nowhere to be found. You keep everyone at arm length while genuinely being there for them. You will always be an open ear for them. You don’t mind tagging along to a very scary appointment if he needs it.  You don’t mind staying awake on the phone because they have night terrors. You don’t even mind giving your all in the bedroom. You always make sure they are pleased. You always make sure they know they are loved and their voice matters. They especially love when  you give them head. Your mouth feels amazing. They think you are gorgeous when you are going down on them. Your hair in a ponytail so they can truly enjoy the beauty of your face (Ok.. Pile 2 … Face cards never decline !). They love to see your eyes full of lust while your mouth is sweet like honey. I’m hearing:’’ Ok now I am going to suck. Baby you tell me if you need me to stop.’’ After you are done give them a handjob. In my vision they are still fully clothed (even have their coat on (Damm y’all not even going to take off the coat… Not y’all fucking in winter attire)). But when is their turn, no show. I’m hearing : ‘’ My turn now’’. You are still in your panties and a big t-shirt. ‘’ Nah … I’m ok…’’ you put yourself under the cover. That makes them feel like a piece of shit. I feel like y’all be doing that because you don’t think you have a pretty pussy. But babe… is more than sex. You refuse to admit that you care. You tell them the only reason you cuddle is because you are cold. You tell them the only reason you go on a drive at night is because you hate driving but love music. The only reason you help them study is to make sure you understand the subject enough. You give love while making sure he knows that it is not that deep. That kind of hurt. 

Stop making your partner feel useless. The person that you are dealing with doesn't feel needed in your life. You treat them like you can’t depend on them. Some of you even walk 45 minutes from your house to school (even in high heels from home to work) because your car broke down. Instead of calling them to pick you, they find out when you got there. It really wasn’t your intention to make them frustrated or scared for you. Some of you ignore them when life goes hard. When depression  hits a tap a bit too much and you are in bed incapable of communicating with the outside world. They would love you to at least text I am ok but can’t talk right now. Make them feel like shit that you don't think they are worth enough to open up. When you need help you don’t ask for them. When you want space you disappear. 

3. They hate the way you don’t defend yourself. It might be specific to people with abusive families. If your parents are physically abusive, I’m seeing : Both of y’all cuddle in his bedroom (he may have red cover) and he asks why you are shivering but you brush it off with ‘’ Oh, I’m cold’’. But really the contact of your clothes with the wounds hurt. They cuddle you but you don’t relax, actually you get stiffer. You try to not make them look under your shirt but they saw it all. I’m hearing y’all tell me; ‘’ It happened one time !’’. They are answering; ‘’ One to many fucking time.’’. You are not lying it was a one time type of shit but still it was fucking mess up. The one with the abusive verbal parents, I got a vision of them going through your phone. At first they thought it was a boy blowing up your phone (y’all have another name for your mom in your phone) but actually it was your mom telling the worst kind of shit. I hope you slowly, I should have never kept you, you are nothing but a useless slut. Then you walk in and you brush it off. ‘’ Until I found out it was because of some fucking dishes.’’ (Well thank you for the input, maybe soon to be bf). Anyways no matter the scenario, they fucking hate the fact that u refuse to anything because you know it will only get worse. They are in your life to show you that babe … this is the worst. You are trying to save yourself from the worst while living in it. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Treats 

They love doing stuff for you. Especially with their hands. Some of you have verbally abusive and alcoholic mothers. One day she went in your room and mess it the fuck up. And your men re-purchase a vanity and build it for you. It was a mini (huge) surprise for you. They may have also helped you set up your bed frame. They also like to bake for you. They love to go pick up your Starbucks orders and bring it to your school (some of y’all may go to cosmetology school). They hate when you use your money and you hate using their money. They are so petty, they just say ‘’ Well your money is for everything your mom broke … my money is for you’’. Not them shutting you up on Tumblr, Sir…They love treating you like princess. The reason … is your smile. When you smile it is like a whole sun is on their phone (they may have your face as their lock screen),in their bedroom, in the car. LOOOOL ! You are like the sun in the teletubbies. 

Masculine energy. 

Not them asking for a whole reading for themself. Sir… please go book on Ko-fi. Out here making me work extra on an empty stomach (smh). 

They are going through a hard phase in their depression. 

They can’t imagine a future with you. HA ! Don’t be scared. I just saw someone holding their heart… Lol. ‘’ Well you could have worded it differently …’’ Sir, this is my blog … CAN A GIRL CLICKBAIT IN FUCKING PEACE ? Girl, come get your man, he is getting on my nerves. You can let go of your tits. What actually is happening is they don’t think they are going to make it past a certain age. Stop holding your tit … (I’m just clickbaiting rn … sometimes I enjoy being dramatic … what ? I am a writer after all). People around them  always seem to die at a specific age because of their mental health, substance abuse or misery. But there’s age in their family in which most don’t pass and in the state they are in … they don’t think they are going to be different. Maybe their bff ended their life and they think they are next. That destiny only enjoys torturing them. They see you old and gray with your teletubbies smile running around in your backyard (hum… weird…) but it is like from the bottom of their soul they think they will be there. 

They don’t know their light. You came into their life to show them that there’s more good in them than they think. Maybe they are from a family where there’s more people in jail than free. Or more people die more because of addiction than old age. So all their life nobody gives a damn about them. Why would they care for the mess up kid in the fucked up family ? Is like they are multiple generations of fucked up. You showed them their light. The fact that they always answer your call no matter the time, they also serve you, they also go to work for you. All those actions prove their love but also their commitment at being better than the rest. They know how to budget, keep a job, take care of their health, etc. They just need the right motivation. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding?

 Trauma bonding

First they love you. Second, their intentions are pure. It is just that my question can give a bit of a clickbait vibe, y’all know that I live for the drama (rarely … I just hate basic questions …). You are their safe place. They love having sex with. They love seeing in red lingerie.  They love the push up bra, the extremely thin pantie, the stocking, the way you did your hair and makeup just to end up being a sucking them the fuck up. They also love when you are drooling with spit from how big they are. They love touching you. They love cuddling you. I don’t feel like y’all make love. Y’all are way more rough in between the sheets. They love aftercare. They love taking care of you. They love taking a towel and cleaning you up or running a bath for the both of y’all. They love taking a shower with you (it may be mandatory activity everytime y’all sleepover to their house). They love cuddling you. They just love you ! They hate any kind of space between y’all. You are the only person to whom they open up too. They love the fact that you never rush them. They love the fact that you try to give them tips to cope in a better way. They love the fact that you believe they can be a better man. 

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)

PILE 3

You guys are the children of divorce parents. They always took care of you. You always had the newest clothes and shoes. You always had the newest technology gadgets. They put you in private school and you had a luxurious car as a gift. Yet, you grew up watching your dad being abusive very severely to your mom physically. You swore you were going to be different … but  here we are….  I don’t think y’all are physically violent to anyone but your anger is something. Is not like is coming out of no where but the stuff y’all do when you are loosing it is fucking questionable. If it was not for your beauty and money … y’all would be in JAIL ! 

Y’all need to learn to what the fuck a patnership is. You don’t like when people tell you what to do. Well sometimes it is needed. Also I am getting that a person just stating their opinion can piss you off. But ruffling feathers is part of  a relationship. Is also the fault of your partner because how is he/she going to get mad at you because you attract attention. Like you are a pretty boy/girl so for sure you are going to attract isn’t how they got you. Getting mad at you because you are wearing a short skirt like they were not in the same instagram profile liking that very same picture of you in it. You can’t get mad at baddie consequences when you bag one. On the other hand the way you show that anger ain’t it. The screaming, the destroying or even the blocking his/her phone number no, no , no. Y’all need to create a safe place to communicate and allow opinions that hurt you. Because in a safe place every emotion is valuable even if it is not factual. Is for both of y’all to find a way to explain yourself with love and care. 

2. With kind intention ONLY…Y’all need therapy because that’s the reason you can’t keep nobody close. Is not just that person is a friend, coworker, or even family member. I know you want someone to see past all that anger because you are so much more than that. You are brilliant, you are pretty, you are elegant, you speak multiple languages, you are multi-talented, you are excellent at study, you have great life hygiene, you are kind and extremely giving but girl… that monster inside of you needs to be tame. There’s only so much that a rage room can do. I know it is not your fault … your parents made you that way. With the constant screaming, beating, and even choking. It’s so fuck up to be responsable for a healing from trauma we never ask for. But not doing it is going to cost you all the love you are meant to receive. 

3. Stop suppressing your emotions. This situationship makes you realize how bad your emotional state actually is. Because being in a relationship with someone put you in a situation where all your triggers are in the open. You can’t run away, you can’t act like nothing is going on, you can’t play it cool. Because everything is too much, you feel too much so act impulsively. From the exterior, you have that facade of the perfect child. That front is a huge source of stress. You wish it to be true but you know damn well that you are far from it. You are always one trigger away from breaking your protection. That’ s a fucking source of stress on it’s on. Admit that you are angry and mad. Being always happy is killing you slowly. Y’all make me think of the red hair in Desperate Housewive. 

4. Gradual numbness. Since reacting doesn't work for you. When you are mad all the people in your life tend to forget all the good you did to them and all the good living within you. You are slowly running in a hole of feeling nothing. Going from feeling too much to feeling nada. 

What's their love language according to the cards – text, treats, or trauma bonding? 

Text

They love texting you. Honestly I feel y’all recently broke up but even if it has been a while they still love you so much. They are rooting for you. They also love the fact that the only communication between y’all 2 is texting. They can’t handle all you are but that does not mean they don’t love all of you 2. They love staying on the phone talking about everything. They love how educated you are on many subjects. They love your voice. Damm do they love your voice. Y’all have a pretty voice. They would never admit it but they love your voice even when  you are yelling at them. They love your moan and they still masturbate to your voice audio. Y’all may still practice phone sex because they can’t have enough of you. You are genuinely the most perfect human they've ever seen. Rightfully so, y’all have a very proportionate body, beautiful brown eyes and full tits. They have flashbacks of touching you not in a sexual way but they miss having their hand on you. You have one of the softest skin. 

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)

[andrigyn]

A Swing in The Dark (Rewrite) Snippet

Ok so I’m posting this snippet to let everyone know that I am actually doing a rewrite lol <3

In Nesta’s former life as a human girl, she took advantage of every opportunity that being the daughter of a wealthy merchant afforded her. Invitations to lavish parties arrived by mail and ended up in a stack atop her mother’s desk, awaiting judgment. She took a keen interest in the social life of her first daughter, and began the search for her perfect match early. Before she fell ill, she knew best when it came to the who, what, and where of courting. To entertain too many suitors would have been disastrous for the family’s reputation, and the eldest child had the greatest duty towards protecting that reputation. Nesta’s time on the scene as a single lady would have also paved the way for Elain and Feyre, had things gone differently. 

Nesta never fussed much over the specifics, choosing instead to surrender to her mother’s well laid plans. But following the inner circle’s direction required an unnatural kind of submission. By their own design, she wasn’t a full member of their court. She was sometimes included in a half-assed way, if only to appease Feyre. Rhysand gritted his teeth and barely tolerated the eldest sister’s presence, which is why she was shocked to hear that the High Lord wished to meet with her. 

Cassian let her know over breakfast that morning training would have to be canceled so that she could go meet with Rhysand and Feyre in the river house. The male didn’t have an answer when she prodded him for more of an explanation. Azriel looked as puzzled as Nesta was, but if he was equally as curious to know what was going on, he didn’t utter a word about it. So after the trio finished eating, Cassian flew her down to the river house and led her through the winding corridors. 

“Well, here it is.” Cassian gestured to a dark wooden door. 

“If he plans on sending me back to the human lands after all, promise you’ll remember me fondly,” Nesta said. She twisted the brass knob and slipped inside before Cassian had a chance to respond, closing the door behind her. 

The room was quite large for a study, as was the desk that sat in its center. Light poured in through the tall windows to illuminate the space. Its walls were painted a shade of blue that resembled the night sky, but not much of the wall was visible behind the numerous paintings and bookshelves. She thought it looked awfully cluttered. Most unsettling of all was Rhysand seated there, with his gaze fixed on her. Those violet eyes were uncanny. Some may have thought them beautiful, but to Nesta it served as a reminder of how inhuman he was. 

“Sit,” he said. 

“Where is my sister? I thought she would be here.” 

“She is occupied. Some of us have responsibilities outside of playing soldier all day. Now, sit.” He waved his hand in front of the seat again, so she obliged. 

“I pretend to be a soldier, Feyre pretends to be a ruler. Have you decided yet which role Elain shall play?” 

“Keep my mate’s name out of your mouth. She and Elain are free to live as they please. You, however, haven’t earned that privilege. But that isn’t why I’ve called you here today.” 

“Get on with it then, what do you want from me?” Nesta asked. Her arms were crossed and she was making every effort to avoid eye contact with the male in front of her. She knew of his ability to shatter minds. That thought inspired a healthy level of fear, and suddenly the cluttered space started to feel more than just annoying. It was suffocating. 

“Eris Vanserra came to me, asking for help to kill his father so that he becomes High Lord. Our assassin cannot be just anybody, we must send someone who Beron wouldn’t perceive as a threat, someone he would allow to stay in his court,” Rhysand drawled, “Ideally a female who would travel to Autumn under the pretense of an engagement.”

“Why should I help you? I don’t care about your petty alliances.” 

Rhysand hunched over the desk and leaned in closer towards Nesta. She decided to meet his gaze, not wanting to appear as though she was backing down. 

This was a ridiculous plan that she wanted no part in. 

“Because someone must, Nesta. If you refuse, then my only other option is to send Elain, and do what should have been done a long time ago and banish you to the human lands.” 

Asshole. She wanted to punch that smug look right off of his face. She wanted to dangle him out of that window until he begged for mercy. The way he thought it appropriate to use Elain as a bargaining chip threatened to make her lose her cool. Everything that she gleaned about the Autumn Court indicated that it was a treacherous place, somewhere that was somehow more undeserving of her sister’s warmth and kindness than Velaris. 

“That will not be necessary. I will go, and once I return I want my freedom.”

Rhysand scoffed. “You’re in no position to make demands. Be grateful I don’t shatter your mind and tell your sisters that you ran away.” 

“Does Cassian know?” Nesta asked. 

“Of course he does.” His curt reply cut like a knife. Nesta considered briefly what it meant that Cassian knew of this plan, and chose not to warn her. She wasn’t sure why she expected his loyalty. It was naive of her, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. How meaningful could the handful of nights they shared together be to a male who was over five hundred years old? 

“Tell me what your plan is exactly, then,” Nesta said. 

“We will hold a ball in the Hewn City in a few days time, where the engagement will be announced. After that you’ll go to Autumn, and follow Eris’s orders,” Rhysand explained. Nesta only nodded in reply. 

“I am beyond grateful you’ve given me so much useful information, I’d hate to go into such a dangerous mission blindly,” she said flippantly. 

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[charismaandcashmere]

In the modern world, it often seems like it’s harder than ever to accomplish your goals.

It seems like everyone has already done the thing you want to do — that your idea is already out there, that your niche is beyond saturated.

Want to start a blog? You’re up against a million rivals. Thinking about starting a podcast? So is everyone else and their mom. Hoping to write a book? With the advent of self-publishing, you’re not only up against authors approved by major publishing houses, but anyone, anywhere, with a laptop. Want to become a YouTube star? Better hope you get noticed next to the thousands of other folks uploading new videos every day.

There’s seemingly a million graphic designers, a million wannabe filmmakers, a million other, probably more qualified candidates gunning for the same job you want.

And that’s just in the marketplace. In your personal life, the competition can feel equally fierce. In the days of yore, you were just competing against people in your college or church to win the attention of a lady. Now you’re up against every Tom, Dick, and Harry on Tinder. The dating marketplace hypothetically stretches beyond your community to encompass your whole state, maybe even the whole country.

Yes, in both economic and personal spheres, demand seems high, and resources seem scarce. It’s enough to make you decide to give up and not try in the first place.

Yet this feeling of scarcity is just an illusion, a myth.

In truth, there’s never been a more opportune time to live. Not only because it’s never been cheaper and easier to write a book, share your art, or start a business, but because the average person’s ability to execute on the basics has never been in such short supply.

While opportunities to achieve your goals aren’t as scarce as you think, there are areas where true scarcity does exist: in common sense, in social skills, in manners, in reliability. There’s a dearth of people who know, or have the will, to do the stupidly easy stuff to be charming and successful.

Let me give you just one example. Both off the air and on, guests of my podcast will tell me, “I can tell you actually read my book before this interview and I really appreciate that. It’s so rare.” I don’t bring this up to toot my own horn, but rather to point out how ridiculous it is that this might even be something worthy of mention! An interviewer reading someone’s work before asking them questions about it would seem like the barest of bare minimum job requirements — a prerequisite rather than something above and beyond. And yet the majority of podcasters aren’t even taking care of this most basic of basics.

There are tons of people doing what you want to do, but how are they executing? In 90% of cases, not as well as they could be.

That’s your opening. And such openings are absolutely everywhere.

To take advantage of opportunities, people typically concentrate on stuff like building up their resume — going to the best school or getting the right internship. And certainly, these things can help.

But what’s missed is that it’s often doing stupidly easy stuff that’s going to allow you to make friends and land your dream job. It’s doing the stupidly easy stuff that almost no one else is doing that can most readily set you apart from the pack, and up for success.

What is some of that stupidly easy stuff? Below you’ll find a (non-exhaustive) list of the things it’s hard to believe people don’t do more often, and which have a huge ROI because most people can’t be bothered.

1. Send a thank you text when you get home from a nice party/date. In my opinion, this is the #1 easiest and best way to be a more charming texter. Yet almost no one does it. When someone has you over for dinner, or you take someone out on a date, once you part ways, they typically worry a bit as to whether or not you had a good time. And a party host wants to know their effort to throw the shindig was appreciated. So even if you thank your date/host in person at the end of the evening, once you get home, shoot them a confirming text saying, “Thanks again for the delicious dinner. We had such a good time!” Trust me on this, it’s stupidly, stupidly charming.

2. Write handwritten thank you notes, always and often. When an occasion was especially nice, instead of sending a text, write the person a handwritten thank you note and stick it in the mail. And send handwritten thank you notes for anything and everything else. Received a gift? Thank you note. Job interview? Thank you note. Someone helped you move? Thank you note. Someone went to bat for you at work? Thank you note.

Thank you note writing has become such a lost art, and receiving snail mail is so delightful, that sending handwritten appreciation has become one of the most effective ways to set yourself apart from the pack.

3. Edit your emails/texts before sending. No one ever catches all of the spelling and grammatical mistakes contained within their communications, but giving your texts and emails a couple reads before you hit send will tighten things up. These “clean” missives significantly contribute to making a winning digital impression.

4. Know how to make small talk. We spend so much time behind screens, that when we finally meet people face-to-face, our conversation can often be awkward and stilted. But being comfortable with small talk opens a tremendous amount of doors; sure, it starts out with the superficial, but it’s the on-ramp to deeper discussions — the pathway to relationships with potential lovers, new friends, and future employers. Fortunately, once you know the simple methodology that makes small talk flow, it’s easy to master.

5. Don’t be a conversational narcissist. Related to the above. The only kind of talk many people know how to make these days, is about themselves. Someone who knows how to listen and ask good questions comes off as stupidly charming.

6. Don’t look at your phone during a conversation. In an age of scattered attention, a person who can concentrate their attention on you, and fight the urge to look at their phone while you eat or talk — someone who can make you feel like the most important person in the room — is a charmer par excellence.

Can’t seem to pry yourself away? Check out our complete guide to breaking your smartphone habit.

7. Dress well for a job interview. You don’t have to show up to a job interview in a three-piece suit (unless the position calls for it); overdressing can make as poor a first impression as under-dressing. But showing up dressed just one notch above what current employees at the company wear will immediately set you apart from many other candidates. Well-shined shoes, a pressed shirt, and good hygiene will help too.

8. Come to a job interview prepared to ask questions of the interviewer. Whenever we post this article on “10 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview,” HR folks always weigh in with how “amazed” they are at the number of candidates who stare blankly when asked at the end of an interview, “Do you have any questions for us?” Know some questions to ask going in.

9. Take a woman on a real date. In a landscape of “What’s up”? texts and non-committal hang outs, taking a lady on a real date puts you head and shoulders above other suitors. What constitutes a real date? Watch this video and remember the 3 P’s: Planned, Paired Off, and Paid For.

10. Offer a sincere apology when you mess up. My generation seems to struggle with saying “I’m sorry” when they make a mistake. Numerous times I’ve had my order messed up at a restaurant, and when I bring it to the attention of the waiter or manager, they just shrug, say “Okay,” and fix it, without saying, “I’m sorry about that.” Then the other day an order of mine got messed up, and the manager took a totally different tack — comping my whole meal and bringing me a free dessert. That kind of treatment is so rare, it was unbelievably winning. I even found the manager after my meal to tell her so, and let her know I would specifically make an effort to return because of her gesture.

As it goes in the restaurant biz, so it goes with everything else. Most of your fellow employees will just say “Okay” when an error is brought to their attention. Offering a sincere apology that demonstrates you take responsibility and understand where you messed up and how it affects the company, will easily set you apart (so will immediately trying to make it right and preventing it from happening again).

And in your personal life, apologizing when you stumble is stupidly endearing. You’ll probably mess up again, and often with the same issue, but even when you can’t completely overcome your flaws, showing you’re at least completely aware of them goes a long, long way.

11. Follow through. I get a lot of emails from guys who want to do something with the Art of Manliness, like write a guest article or strike up a business partnership. They are excited! They are passionate! They are…MIA. They never follow-up or follow-through on their idea. I’ve often wondered what happens between their excited initial email, and their descent into silence. But whatever it is, it can easily be avoided by those committed to following through.

12. Be reliable. No quality today can more readily set you apart from your peers than reliability. Doing the follow-through just mentioned. Showing up on time (and just plain showing up). Meeting deadlines. Managing expectations and not overpromising. Promptly responding to emails. Keeping your word.

Are freelance graphic designers, artists, video/audio editors, app developers, programmers, contractors, etc. a dime a dozen? Surely. But a reliable creative professional or handyman? A pink unicorn. If you couple talent and skill with reliability, it’s stupidly easy to dominate your competition and your niche.

When you survey the economic and dating markets, they can seem incredibly oversaturated. Demand seems high and resources seem scarce. But when you take a closer look, you’ll find that while there are plenty of people all grasping after the same thing, there are only a few executing well on the attempt. Setting yourself apart isn’t complicated or hard; it often involves simply doing the stupidly easy stuff that everyone else overlooks.

Their obtusity is your gain; see through the myth of scarcity, take care of the basics, and the world is your oyster.

[xiubaek-13]

Providence

Prompt: You kind of-sort of said you had a boyfriend and now you both are invited to a ‘couples only’ party and now you have to find a boyfriend ASAP

Pairing: Chen x Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, poor dating history, a little bit of smut.

Word Count: 9,118

A/N: This was for a one-shot challenge. We had a really cool idea for a Valentines prompt but life decided to come in and drop multiple anvils on all of our progress. Life can be shit like that sometimes but at times like that you also have to step back and realise that the writing can wait. We made a group decision to kind of call off the challenge but still post if/when we finished. This is my contribution.

Anyway, let me know what you think - apparently I cannot write a short one-shot to save my life so here is an almost 10k present for you.

You only had yourself to blame for this. Why the fuck did you tell him you had a boyfriend? Did you enjoy suffering? How the hell were you supposed to find a boyfriend before the weekend?!

You were just so sick of feeling left out of social gatherings but Suho was all about couples parties… originally you thought it was a phase that would pass but six months later it was still invite only and you had to have a boyfriend or partner or significant other. The rules were that you couldn’t turn up alone or with a fuck buddy, not after that one time Baekhyun turned up with an escort just to piss Suho off. You still remember Baekhyun telling you that story and how Suho hadn’t invited him again for two whole months. That man was too concerned with how society perceived him and his perfect wife. He just didn’t understand how you could possibly have no time for dating and dismissed you every time you asked to come alone.

So you hadn’t seen him in six months. You still talked and still saw each other at work but you missed hanging out with your friend. You just wished he cared less about what everyone thought of him. One by one they’d all gotten girlfriends and wives and suddenly you were no longer the main woman in their lives. Gone were the days when you’d have to pretend to be their date, scorned ex, sister, or bitchy friend to save them from awful dates. Now none of them were ever free to do the same for you because it wouldn’t be proper.

At some point you gave up on dating. You just decided one day that you’d had enough of being disappointed by every so called suitor and weren’t going to participate in it any more. Your mother was distraught, but you were pretty sure it was more that she was upset that she couldn’t play matchmaker any more rather than any sort of concern for your wellbeing. What you would give to not have been born into high society with all of these convoluted rules and stigmas. You had to marry a career man of good stead from the right family. You had to mask and hide your feelings, always, because any sign of emotion was a sign of weakness. You had to have a good education and a good career but be willing to drop it all to get married and start a family then spend your days on committees. You could never not be seen in designer wear, what would the neighbours think? All of this superficial bullshit. You were done with it.  There had to be more to life than this and if there wasn’t then what the hell was the point of anything? Why put up with all of this just to be a beige blip or boring in the grand scheme of things.

You craved excitement like that art student you dated in college who had a talent for body paint. Your mother haaaaated him and once he found out about your status he was done with you. You craved a person who could chill with you and be happy in just your company for days on end when the rest of the world became too overwhelming like that library assistant you dated for a couple of months until you found creepy poems everywhere and had to call it quits before you ended up the subject of a cold case study in a decades time. For some reason you always ended up with the weird guy who seemed great… until he wasn’t.

Your luck wasn’t any better when your mother set up the dates. There was the lawyer who always had to argue with you and spoke over the top of you, there was the medical student with the foot fetish, there was the personal trainer who didn’t believe in showers, the stock broker with anger management issues and a possessive streak, the list went on. Back in the day Suho, Baekhyun and the others would laugh with you about these jerks and give you hope for the future but now, now you couldn’t help but feel like they thought you were a lost cause since you were the only one left who was single. Maybe you were just destined to be forever alone like Chanyeol had once suggested.

***

“Are you sure it isn’t you that’s the problem?” He asked.

You paused as you brought your coffee up to your lips. “Wow. Thanks Kai. You’re a beacon of positivity you know that?”

Kai pressed on. “Think about it. You’ve been on countless dates and all of them, every single guy you’ve ever dated hasn’t been good enough. You’ve found a flaw in every single one. People have flaws, it’s normal. It’s not normal to have gone on like 50 dates in the past 2 years and still have nothing to show for it.”

“You couldn’t be more of a finance guy if you tried. I know people have flaws but don’t you dare try to tell me I should have just looked past Jason’s poetry thing.”

“Oh fuck no. That guy was a textbook serial killer in the making, you’re lucky you got away from that relatively unscathed.”

“Kai, they’ve all be terrible. I don’t know what to tell you… maybe the guy for me just isn’t in this universe. Maybe he was here but he died before I could meet him and now I’m alone forever.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“You’re lucky I like you Kai. Now are you going to help me get into one of Suho’s parties or have I just wasted a half hour at this overpriced cafe?”

Kai laughed and put his drink down. “Just go through your phone and find the least terrible guy you ever went out with and see if he’s up for playing along for a night. Suho will know if you just bring a guy you’ve never met before - it’s kind of how he caught Baekhyun out.”

“And here I was thinking it was because she was propositioning Sehun in the kitchen or when she told Xiumin her price list that really gave her away.” You deadpanned.

“You know what, you might be right.” He laughed and shook his head. “We are lucky he’s finally settled down, single Baekhyun was wild.”

You checked your phone and realised you had to be back at work in 20 minutes so you thanked Kai for brunch and headed back to your office.

***

Your phone was mocking you, you were sure of it. It felt like a stone in your hand ever since brunch with Kai. His words kept coming back to you but every time you opened your contact list and started scrolling you felt like the world’s biggest loser. What would you even say to any of these guys if you called? Hi I’m pathetic and still alone but please date me for one night so I can go to a party? Yes I know things didn’t work out between us in the past but what’s one night for old times sake? Ugh. You needed wine if you were going to stoop this low.

One hour and five glasses of wine later you were three quarters through your contact list and you had gained nothing. If anything you’d lost some dignity in the process but you’d also deleted about 10 numbers from your phone for good, ones that were disconnected or if the conversation felt too forced or if he was rude. You cursed Kai, so far this was a horrible walk down memory lane of your failed love life. What you saw in any of these men was beyond you. One conversation stood out so far - Lance. Lance was clearly a low point of your dating life, really the name said it all. Stereotypical frat boy, on the rowing team, thinks women are to be seen and never heard, thinks the ability to do a keg stand makes him a certified legend. Lance was more than happy to chat with you tonight, to catch up on old times and tell you all about himself and how well he was doing at the law firm he was a partner in. Not once did he ask about you. His response when you’d asked, through gritted teeth because you were certain you’d end up killing him on the way to the party, was “Cool, cool, look sweetcheeks I’d like nothing more than spend a night with you but I don’t do the whole date thing plus I haven’t seen you in years - you gotta send a guy some pics first. You should just come over later tonight, we can have a party of our own if you know what I mean.” You actually felt greasy after talking to him and never before had you deleted a number from your phone so quickly, because fuck ever talking to him again.

Sighing and pouring your sixth glass you settled into your couch and scrolled to the last three numbers. If none of these provided results you were back to square one. You glanced at the remaining names, remembering who they were and if they were worth calling. Taekyeon was a med student in college and you’d lived in the same dorm. He was actually a really good guy back then. You recalled that one time where you were so horrifically hungover after one bad night out and he’d somehow procured a drip and solution to hook up to you to rehydrate you as well as feed you painkillers and took care of you. He’d never asked for anything in return either. You dialled his number and waited as it rang.

“Hello?” A male voice answered.

“Hi, is this Taekyeon?” You asked.

“It is...who am I speaking with?” He responded hesitantly.

After you got past formalities and got to chatting you didn’t even bother bringing the proposition up. Instead you made up some lie about a project you were working on and needing to reconnect with your past. You were right, he was still a great guy. So great that he was a pediatrician, married and had two adorable children. It got you nowhere with needing a fake boyfriend for a night but it was wonderful to chat to him again after all this time and he seemed just as happy to chat with you. He promised to call again after he returned from a work conference so that he could invite you over for dinner to meet his wife and children.

“After all, I owe you for not letting me turn into one of those awful frat boys. You kept me in line so my morals never wavered.” You couldn’t really turn the guy down. Not when you could tell he was serious about having you meet his family and really, you were a little bit curious to see how he turned out.

“It was the least I could do, you were younger and more impressionable. I just didn’t want you to turn into a jerk, especially if I had to live next to you for four years. Don’t think of it as a selfless act!”

He laughed and the two of you continued chatting for a bit before saying your goodbyes and promising to speak again soon. With a smile you moved down to the next name, Wonsik. Wonsik...Wonsik… who the hell was he? You racked your brain to try and pull up some detail that would enlighten you as to who this guy was. Was he that forgettable? Or is he just some random dude? You sat for what felt like hours trying to work out who he might be but in the end you took a big sip of wine, threw caution to the wind and dialled. As you waited for the mystery man to answer his phone you continued to mull over the name in your mind.

“Heeeey! It’s been so long since we last spoke. How have you been?!” a bright and cheerful voice greeted you from the other end of the phone line. Who the hell IS this guy? Why does he seem to know me...that would mean my name is saved in his phone. So we must have met in the last year.

“Hi! I know it’d been ages. I’ve just been so busy. What have you been up to?” You decided to play along like you remembered who he was to see if he’d give away any clues that might jog your memory.

“Oh you know, same as usual - museum stuff. Preparing the newest exhibition which has been taking up all of my time. Honestly the hoops you have to jump through to have artifacts leant to a museum is just mind boggling. Anyway please, tell me what you’ve been up to. I had honestly given up on hearing from you again.”

No. no no no no no. You remembered him now. Eight months ago you had a weak moment and joined Tinder. This guy had matched well with you so you’d chatted and organised a date. He seemed nice enough, he still did now, but you remembered getting the strangest vibe from him during that date. Something about him made you feel unsafe and you just wanted to be as far away from him as possible the whole time you were on your date. Being a smart woman you’d told a few friends about the date and teed them up to contact you an hour in to check on you, providing a believable reason to end the date early if you needed to. You did this with any date you went on but this was the only time you’d used it.

“Oh just the same, work and more work. I’m sorry if I bothered you, I’ve just been going through my phone checking all of the numbers in here - it’s been playing up lately. So this call was just to confirm that it’s still you. I wish I could chat longer but I really do have to go.”

“Yep, still me! Ah well hopefully we can meet up again one day and finish that date. It was such a nice surprise to see your name come up.”

You made loose promises to talk again sometime and hung up. Instead of deleting you made a note in his contact information - Tinder date - so that you would remember not to ever call or answer his calls, deleting his number could mean that you’d answer him and be stuck talking to him again and you really didn’t want to be caught off guard like that.

The final name stared at you. You knew this name and you had a sinking feeling about it. You used to work for Yesung as an intern. He was only a few years older than you and he was handsome. The two of you had dabbled in an office fling. It had been hot and heavy but it was short lived since both of you desired your careers more than each other. You both knew it was only lust and proximity that kept causing you to end up in compromising positions so you’d put a stop to it after one too many close calls. He was a nice enough guy but he was a workaholic so you weren’t sure if he’d be down to play pretend with you for an evening.

You put the phone down and made your way back to the kitchen to pour another glass of wine only to find the bottle empty. Had you had six glasses already? It was probably a sign to stop drinking for the night before you regretted it the next day. The storm outside intensified as rain pelted against the windows. If I’m making this call I need to do it before the thunderstorm starts. You grabbed a bottle of water from your fridge and headed back to the couch. You unlocked your phone and your thumb hovered over the dial button. Fuck it. You thought as you pressed his number. It rang and rang and rang until you were sure it would go to voicemail but at the last second a voice answered.

“Hello?” a warm voice greeted you from the other end of the line. It wasn’t how you remembered Yesung’s voice but it had been a few years so you weren’t sure.

“Hi, is this Yesung?” You asked tentatively.

“Oh, sorry. No this used to be his phone, it hasn’t been for years though. Was it personal or business?” The voice answered. Dammit. I called everyone and came up empty handed.

“A bit of both really.” You lied. You were feeling a little pathetic now but your manners meant that you would continue this conversation until it was polite to end it.

“Maybe I can help with the business part. I work with him now.” You thought this voice sounded younger than Yesung. Maybe he was his new intern? You didn’t really care. His voice was nice though and after a bottle of wine the warmth in his voice made you feel a little less pathetic.

“Oh uh, I don’t think you can. It was more a proposition. I used to work for Yesung.” You replied. If he’s not an ass he’ll ask more questions.

“Hmmm why not just tell me it’s a personal call then?” He chuckled.

He had a point. Why lie? “I don’t know, it’s late and I might have had some wine but I also don’t know who you are. Why should I give you a proper answer?”

He laughed. “Yeah, coz that makes total sense.”

“Oh shut up.” You snapped.

“Do I know you?” He asked. Surely he didn’t? Did he?

“Why? Don’t many people tell you to shut up?” You quipped.

“Ha. No, your voice sounds familiar. I can’t place it though. You said you used to work to Yesung though right?” He wasn’t letting this drop, he must actually think he knew you.

“Mmmhmm” You were unsure how much you wanted to divulge to a complete stranger. For all you knew he was just playing with you.

“When did you work for him?”

“A few years ago.” It was a vague enough answer that he shouldn’t be able to get much out of it.

“As…?” He pressed.

“I was an intern.”

“Oooh! I DO know you!” He sounded excited on the other end of the call.

“Well, can you enlighten me? Because I’m drawing a blank here.” You exclaimed, confused at how the hell he’d seemingly worked out who you were, or that he knew you.

“Ah wae! I’m not sure if I should be offended that you don’t remember me just by my voice.” He feigned offence at your lack of memory. The whiny complaining he did triggered something in your memory but.. It couldn’t be… could it?

“Wait...Chen?” A handful of you used to go to karaoke rooms after work on Fridays and Chen was the guy with the voice of an angel. You had no idea why he wasn’t a professional singer but you could have sat and listened to him sing for hours. Surely this wasn’t him? Chen was always argumentative and loud at work, not this soft spoken voice you were currently talking to.

“Ah, you do remember me. I’m flattered.How have you been?” Now that you knew it was him you couldn’t work out how it hadn’t clicked earlier. That voice, that warm and inviting and vexing voice.

“Good I guess.” You answered softly. You weren’t really expecting that question from him. You had been mentally preparing yourself to deflect the ‘why did you call’ question that would inevitably be brought up again.

“So good that you’re calling your old boss’ phone on a weeknight at 11pm? What’s going on?” Damn. Apparently you weren’t going to evade this question any longer.

“Uh. Don’t worry about it.” You mumbled. There was no way you were telling Chen why you rang. He was a smartass and a tease if you remembered correctly and as nice as his voice was, you wouldn’t enjoy it if he was making fun of you.

“If you don’t tell me I’m just going to assume it was a booty call & I’ll be sure to tell him all about it tomorrow.” He teased.

“You wouldn’t!” You exclaimed. It had been too many years for you to know for sure if he was bluffing or not.

“Wouldn’t I? I can even give him your number and I’m sure you remember how he is when his ego is inflated by pretty women.” He teased.

“Oh I remember now. I hate you.”

Chen couldn’t speak because he was laughing so hard at you. Eventually he pulled himself together enough to speak “Then tell me why you rang and avoid this fate.”

“You’ll only make fun of me so either way it’s a bad result for me.” You whined.

“Either I can make fun of you or Yesung can call you expecting you to offer up sex… your choice. I know what I’d pick but hey… maybe you were just after a booty call. Maybe I’m doing you a favour by handing Yesung your number… You can thank me later. Send a gift basket or something.”

You nearly choked on the water you were drinking when he’d spoken. “Oh my god. I needed a date ok? It wasn’t a booty call. Jesus Chen.”

“You needed a date & Yesung was who you called? There has to be more to this. Come on, make my night interesting and tell me.” He egged you on. Something in his voice, something in the way he spoke made you want to tell him more but you weren’t giving it up for nothing. If you were about to tell Chen how desperate you were then he was going to have to offer something in return.

“What do I get in return for telling you? I’m not drunk enough to just drop it on you and the shred of dignity I have left isn’t going easily.”

“I… promise I won’t laugh at you or judge you.” He replied.

“You’ve already done both of those things!” You exclaimed. No way were you letting him lowball you like that.

“Fine. I’ll sing for you. Is that a better offer?”

“Actually yes, it is.” You reluctantly launched into your tale of why you were calling Yesung and why you needed a date. You tried to brush over the part where you were, for lack of a better phrase, forever alone and kept it as simple as possible. True to his word he didn’t laugh but he did remain silent for a painfully long stretch of time before he spoke again.

“I cannot believe I promised you I wouldn’t laugh. You’re not kidding are you?” He said, his voice trembling as he tried to keep his promise.

“Nope. This is my life.”

“Fuck me. Firstly, let me say that your friend sounds like a dick. What kind of jerk only holds couples parties? I might not know you that well but I know you shouldn’t be spending your night calling every guy in your phone just to see if you can convince them to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. No offence but it kind of makes you look crazy. Secondly, is your contacts list that sad that you got all the way down to Yesung’s name and still hadn’t found anyone who would do this for you?”

“It’s the last name on the list. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t you promise not to judge me Chen?” You chided.

“Not judging you, just your choices. Anyway, that brings me to my third point. I’ll do it. I know you weren’t expecting to talk to me tonight or anything but this whole thing is too amusing to not want to be a part of it. So if you are still in need, which I’m pretty sure you are, I’ll fill the role.” You were sure you’d heard wrong, there was no way Chen had just solved your problem. Surely not. You must have lost your mind or only heard what you wanted to hear because you could have sworn he said he’d do it.

“What? Seriously? You’ll do it? Chen, you have no idea how much you’d be helping me out!” You practically beamed down the line. He had to hear the sudden uplift in your tone and pitch. You’d honestly thought when Yesung didn’t answer, well actually even before that, that you would be back to square one and still alone. Suddenly there was a light at the end of the tunnel. You had plans for this party, plans to tell Suho exactly what you thought of his couples only crap at some point of the night but you’d play along until the perfect moment then throw it in his face. Was it petty? A little. Was it deserved? You thought so. How could he still call himself your friend if he organised events and wouldn’t let you attend on your own?

“I never said I’d do it for free, but we can discuss my price later. I think we should meet up for coffee tomorrow to reconnect and get some facts straight. If we’re going to fake date we need fake dating history.”

***

You stop outside of the cafe entrance and internally debate for what has to be the eighth time since hanging up the phone last night whether or not this is a horrible idea. What if you went inside and he never turned up? How would you handle rejection from a fake boyfriend? What if he was in there but he mocked you or judged you for your forever alone status? What if he thought you were pathetic? For the eighth time you reminded yourself that he suggested this meeting after he agreed to be your fake boyfriend. He’d been so amused at your inability to find someone but also so pissed that your choice of friends sucked that badly that you needed a fake boyfriend in order to hang out with them. He’d texted you a time and a place after you hung up last night so you steeled your nerves and pushed the door open.

Once you were inside you looked around, searching for him. A hand waved from the back left corner and beckoned you over. You started walking towards him and relaxed when you saw his smiling face. “Good, I was starting to think you’d chickened out on the whole thing.” He exclaimed when you slid into the seat across from him.

“Why a booth in the back corner Chen?” You asked. The cafe wasn’t that busy that he had to choose the seats furthest away from any of the other customers.

He shrugged. “I wasn’t sure how comfortable we’d be discussing the semantics of our fake relationship so I opted for some privacy.” He pointed to his hot chocolate. “Please, order something to drink or a snack, it’s on me.”

You wait for the waitress to appear then order an iced chocolate. You and Chen make small talk until the waitress returns with your drink, then he gets straight into it. “I think we should incorporate our real history into this fake backstory, it makes it easier to lie when half of the lie is truth.”

“It won’t make it weird?” You ask.

“Not at all.” He responds, taking a sip from his hot chocolate. “Hear me out. We met a few years ago through work. You were an intern and I was an office lackey. We had the same boss and on Friday nights after work a group of us would all go out for drinks and karaoke. The two of us hung out and got to know each other. We became friendly but we were both off limits, I had a girlfriend and you were kind of seeing someone. We remained friends until you finished your internship and left, losing contact with each other until about a month ago.” He paused while you processed the story so far. So far it wasn’t fake, it was just exactly your history with Chen. You weren’t really sure where he was headed with it but you were curious.

“What happened last month?” You asked.

A slight smile formed on his face, knowing he’d reeled you in so far. “A month ago you had one of the worst blind dates of your life. I’m talking the guy was drunk and lewd to the point where you told him you were going to use the restroom but instead left the restaurant and went to the bar down the road. You were sitting at the bar quietly having a few drinks to try and wash the evening away when we ran into each other. We got to talking and caught up on each others lives - me getting promoted to junior partner, having my fiance cheat on me and you having a string of bad luck with love but success with your career. We kept drinking and chatting and once we realised that we were both single, flirting. One thing led to another and you let me get you home. I left your doorstep with the promise of a date and a month later we’re still dating.” He sat back and waited for you to chip in with your two cents on his story. It was good, almost too good actually. For one thing, you could definitely retell that blind date because you’d been on one like that. The rest was plausible and enough that not too many questions would be asked.

“It’s good.” You eat a spoonful of cream from the top of your iced chocolate. “I think that’ll work well actually. The truth thing does make it a lot easier, honestly I hadn’t thought of it from this perspective. Plus I’ve been on that horrible date so that won’t be a stretch of the imagination should anyone want details.”

Chen’s eyes widened. “Seriously? You’ve been on a date that bad?”

You laughed defeatedly. “You have no idea.”

“Wow. I thought I’d concocted a date so bad that no one would want to know more but I didn’t think anyone actually had dates that bad. What kind of- nevermind. We’re getting off topic. Are you happy with the backstory?”

You nod and continue to spoon the cream off your drink. “I like it. Honestly I had no idea what we were going to tell them if they asked but of all the options I thought up last night, none of them are as simple and realistic as yours. Way to choose the most believable one” You smile and laugh to yourself.

The two of you keep chatting and catching up on each others lives. A lot had happened to both of you since you’d lost contact. You’d forgotten how easygoing and warm Chen was. Hanging out with him brightened your day and you hadn’t realised how much you’d missed this feeling. He can’t contain his laughter as you enlighten him with your failed dating history. At one point he is in tears from laughing so hard after hearing about a particularly bad date with the non showering personal trainer and he begged you to stop talking. You swapped the conversation to find out more about him, pressing to see if the whole fiance and being cheated on thing was true and you were appalled to find out that it was.

It was the aforementioned girlfriend from when you worked together. He’d fallen head over heels for her and after a year and a half of dating they were engaged. Chen had never been happier, he was progressing in his career and he had the love of his life by his side. Sadly it turned out that the love of his life was a manipulative bitch who had been using him. He’d noticed something was off when she accused him of stealing her phone. He went to talk to a friend about her behaviour but as he spoke he realised more and more things she’d done to him. He was so in love with her that he hadn’t noticed her toxic behaviour but now there was no going back. He’d arrived home early from an out of town business trip and went home to surprise her only to arrive home to something that shattered his heart. It’s one thing to know that someone is manipulative, it’s another to see just how little you mean to them in person.

She was in his apartment fucking not one, but two guys in their bed. Once the men saw him they hightailed it out of there, not wanting to be a part of whatever conversation happened next. She didn’t even try to apologise. No, she tried to turn it back around and make it his fault that she cheated. He was so heartbroken and disgusted that he simply told her she had 3 hours to pack all of her shit, return her keys and get out of his life for good then turned around and left the building.

You were so mad for him at the end of his story that you didn’t notice the tear escape your eye until he reached forward and caught it on your cheek. You flinched at his touch which didn’t escape his notice. “Hey, don’t get worked up over it. I’m past it and I’m much stronger and self reliant now. I’m also a much better judge of character than I once was so out of all of that pain some good occurred too.” He smiled gently at you. “What worries me now is that you flinched when I touched you, and you’ve done the opposite of what a girlfriend should do every time I’ve touched you or looked into your eyes since we started chatting. You’re too tense.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise we were acting from now Chen. Here I was thinking we were just catching up as friends.”

He chuckled. “We are but I figured I’d test how you responded to me touching you. You do know that for this whole thing to be believable you have to act natural when I invade your personal space. We’re supposed to have been dating for a month now and if you flinch at any point and someone notices then we’re done for.”

He got up and moved to the other side of the booth, sliding in next to you. What the hell was he doing? Why was he so close all of a sudden? Was he always this handsome? You shook your head and looked at him with a confused expression on your face. “Chen what are you doing?”

He cocked his head as though you should already know the answer to your question but when you made no attempt at speaking again he sighed and filled you in. “We are going to sit here and chat until you act natural with me being so close to you, with me looking into your eyes, with me touching you. If we can’t master this then there’s no point in going through with it.”

You furrow your brow and ask. “So...we’re acting like we’re a couple now?”

He nods, a playful grin spreading across his face. “Yep. A smitten couple. One month in you’re still clinging to each other, still completely absorbed in one another, inseparable. So if you want to pull this lie off, you need to get comfortable with me.”

So you sit there, incredibly close to Chen and continue chatting. Now that there wasn’t a table separating the two of you he’s even more disarming. You knew he was handsome having sat in a karaoke bar and stared at him on more than one occasion but that was when he floored you with his voice, after that you really looked at him and noticed the handsome man that lay beneath his bright and joking demeanour. You’d never been this close to him before though. He’d swiveled you so that you were facing him and pulled you closer to him. His hand rested on your thigh while the other alternated between playing with your fingers, holding your hand and brushing your hair off your face. His touch was somehow gentle and firm at the same time and his hands were warm, you could still feel where he touched you after his hand had moved away.

Maintaining eye contact was the difficult part. His deep brown eyes told you more than his words did and you were afraid you’d see pity in them if you stared for too long. The last thing you wanted was his pity, you knew you were pathetic and he’d been doing a wonderful job at making you forget how pathetic you were but you couldn’t help that niggling voice from returning to tell you that he was only doing this whole fake boyfriend thing because it amused him.

Every time you broke eye contact he’d squeeze your thigh or lift your head back up to look at him before starting again. He leant forward and whispered in your ear at one point. “The sooner you stop averting your gaze, the sooner you can go home and get ready for this party. If you can’t do it then I guess our deal is off which would be a shame since we’ve put in at least two hours of work at this point.” When he leant back you saw the smirk on his face and you steeled your resolve. You could do this. You could hold eye contact and withstand his touches and act like a smitten couple and you would do it to prove to him that you could.

The next time you break eye contact it’s not because of fear of judgement or pity. It’s because you felt something. Something about his gaze and his touches had made you feel too hot. You’d felt exposed and you wanted to run away or throw yourself at him and you were embarrassed. “Ah wae! You were doing so well!” He exclaimed and you tried to brush it off as nothing. He made you repeat the task again until you were able to hold eye contact the entire time. You were certain that you’d gone a shade of pink or red by the time you passed Chen’s tests but if you were he said nothing.

His eyes and touches made you feel warm and on edge and you were trying your hardest to keep yourself together but you kept noticing his gaze, his inviting lips, his arms, his legs, his touch and you were going a little insane. Did he sense it too? Or was he just playing his role? You had no idea but you needed to leave this cafe soon before you made a fool of yourself. “Chen, thank you for helping me. I still don’t know why you’re helping me but I’m choosing just to go with it at this point. I need to get back to work so I can leave on time to get ready for this party.” He checks his watch and lets you know he should be getting back too. He pays for your drink and snack then heads back to work & tells you he’ll pick you up at 7 at your place so the two of you can go over the plan once more. He smiles and gives you a quick hug before leaving.

***

Quit acting like a moron and get ready. It’s fake so of course he was acting sweet and endearing, it’s his role, nothing more. Ever since you’d left the cafe you’d been feeling strange. It had felt like you’d seen him, really seen him, for the first time and it was having an effect on you. You kept thinking about him, about his warm eyes, his mischievous lips, his charming words and his proximity to you. Every small touch he made seared into your skin, every gesture, every glance, it all felt too intimate and it was driving you crazy. You hadn’t counted on your emotions not realising that he was only acting that way because of the arrangement the two of you had. He’d been right, if you hadn’t spent the extra time getting comfortable being so close and touchy with each other then tonight would be a bust. Apparently your brain had decided to ignore the arrangement and instead focused on how his touches made you feel and how he smelled, the way his arms flexed when he moved, they way he looked at you. It clouded your vision and you felt too hot and overwhelmed. You’d been glad to leave the cafe before you did anything stupid and the fresh air was a welcome change to the encompassing tension of everything Chen you were now experiencing.

You stared in the mirror as you evaluated your outfit. The dress you chose was cute, a retro 50’s style pin up dress so it showed just enough cleavage, nipped in at your waist then poofed out into a full skirt. The couples party had a retro theme and the dress coupled with flawless make up and rockabilly hairstyle made you fit the part perfectly. You had no idea what Chen was going to wear but he told you he had it covered and you were willing to believe him. You kept trying to remind yourself not to read into anything tonight and not to let your emotions take over because you were going to pretend to be smitten with this guy and you had the slightest fear that you would feel sad and alone after he dropped you home tonight. You needed to go through with it though. If this was the only way you got to give Suho and your friends a piece of your mind about how unfair and terrible they were as friends then so be it.

A knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts. You make your way to your front door and open it. You had spent a decent amount of time trying to guess what Chen would wear tonight and for some reason you’d kept landing on suit as the option but you were wrong. Standing in front of you was temptation. He was dressed in blue jeans, a white v-neck tee and a black leather jacket. He’d gelled his hair back and looked like he’d stepped out of Grease or Crybaby. You sent a silent curse to the universe because he looked so good that it wasn’t fair. The suffocating tension that you felt earlier returned tenfold and you could do little more than stare at him.

His mouth quirked up into a smirk as he watched you stare at him unabashedly. He leant against your doorframe and watched as you tried to compose yourself. It gave him plenty of time to stare at you. “Hi doll.”

The only words you could get out were “How dare you.”

He quirked an eyebrow at you encouraging you to elaborate. “How dare I what?”

“How dare you turn up looking like this. You know it’s rude to look better than your date don’t you?”

He chuckles and very obviously gives you a once over. “Clearly you haven’t looked in the mirror because you, you look amazing.” You looked beautiful, more than beautiful, incredible. And sexy. Something he was not prepared for. He was prepared for cute and for pretty but not for the bombshell standing before him.

As his eyes raked over you you felt yourself heating up. “So, uh… are you gonna let me in or are we conducting this discussion purely in the doorway? I don’t mind either way but I’d like to know so I can get comfortable if you aren’t letting me in.” His words brought you back to reality and you finally remembered your manners. You stepped aside and let him enter the room.

As you closed the door his hand grabbed you, spinning you around and pulling you into an embrace. You were glad he couldn’t see the blush forming on your face. “So, how did we meet?”

He was testing you again. You tried to remind your brain of this fact but it was no use, it was giving in to the feeling of having Chen pressed against you and part of you couldn’t blame it...it was a damn nice feeling. But it wasn’t real. ��We met a few years ago through work when I was an intern.” you responded, running your hands along his firm arms.

He rubs circles into your hips with his thumbs. “How long have we been dating?”

You rested your head in the crook of his neck as you replied, your body betraying you as you tried to get closer to him. “Just over a month now.”

He lowered his head and whispered in your ear. “Why are we only dating now?”

The feel of his hands roaming over you was making you light headed as you tried to concentrate on answering him. “W-we were both seeing other people at the time so we were only ever friends. We ran into each other a month ago and hit it off. The rest is history.”

“Now this if more like it, you aren’t awkward at our proximity. I can officially say that you stand a chance of fooling these ‘friends’ of yours tonight.” He detached himself from you and stepped back, smiling down at you.

See, it’s an act. He’s just putting on an act. He isn’t feeling what you’re feeling. Why would he? Your subconscious, ever the downer, decides to rear its head and berate you with negative thoughts. It usually waited until after the date before it ruthlessly came for you but it was determined to make an early start tonight.

You forced a smile and hoped that Chen didn’t notice it. “Then your method of teaching was a success.”

He stepped forward, cupping your face in his hands, his eyes laced with concern. “Are you ok?”

Apparently he did notice the shift in your demeanour. You tried to nod which must have looked ridiculous since his hands hadn’t left your face. “I’m good, just nervous. I promise.”

He didn’t move away. He stayed there, hands holding your face as his eyes darted to assess if you were being truthful or not. His gaze didn’t meet your eyes as he spoke quietly, voice lower than it had been moments ago. “You know, there is one thing we haven’t covered off on.”

“What’s that?” You whispered.

“Where we had our first kiss.” His eyes lifted to look you in the eyes now as he tried to gauge your reaction.

You didn’t miss the way he licked his lips or the way his eyes kept dropping to stare at your mouth. Your brain was a mess and couldn’t work out if this was another test or if he was flirting with you now. All you knew in that moment was that you really wanted him to kiss you. “I, well, wouldn’t it be a month ago when you walked me home. We would have kissed on my door stop before you, ever the gentleman, took your leave.” You let your eyes fall to his lips, they looked soft and inviting and you really wanted to know what they’d feel like, what he’d taste like. Would his kiss be soft or would it be demanding?

“Oh, did you think I was a gentleman?” He moved his hand to push a strand of your hair back behind your ear and your breath hitched. He stilled and searched your eyes for any sign that he should stop and he found none. “Fuck it.” he breathed before closing the distance between the two of you and pressed his lips against yours.

For a moment you couldn’t do anything except stand there but then your body seemed to remember how to react and you reciprocated, kissing him back with fervour. He help you against him as your mouths moved and your kiss deepend. His lips were incredibly soft and skilled, which you silently thanked the universe for, and you could barely get enough of them.

The two of you parted only to catch your breaths as he pressed his forehead against yours. “Sorry if I overstepped a boundary or something but I’ve been wanting to do that for hours.”

“Don’t you dare apologise Chen.” His eyes widened as you pulled his face back down to yours and kissed his again, your tongue flicking against his as he walked you backwards until you were pressed against the wall. You could barely remember how to breathe as he peppered kisses along your jaw and neck before returning to your mouth and drawing your bottom lip between his teeth, causing you to moan.

Things only escalated from there, clothes were hastily stripped from your bodies as you made your way down the hall to your bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded garments in your wake, only breaking contact to lift his shirt over his head. Your kisses became more urgent and passionate as he pushed you down onto the bed.

The only word you have to describe the sex is ravaging. As you lie next to him, both of you panting trying to catch your breaths and have your heart rates return to normal you replay the events that just occurred. He’d pushed you down onto the bed and positioned himself at the end of the bed with his head between your legs. You’d tried to close your legs out of embarrassment but he held them open, telling you that you looked beautiful like this, all spread out just for him. He nipped, sucked and licked until you were a writhing mess begging for him to let you cum. He led you to the edge of your release repeatedly but backed off right before it hit you. “Do you want to cum doll? Maybe you should show me just how much you want me to let you cum.”

He stood at the end of the bed as you knelt on it and took his length into your mouth, working him over with vigour and need. He’d hissed and moaned when you took all of him in your mouth and moaned, telling you just how well you sucked cock. He didn’t let you finish him off. He pushed you back onto your back and pinned your hands above your head before entering you in one thrust. You’d cried out at the stretch and he’d stilled as you adjusted to him. When he started moving again you saw stars. He would alternate between rolling his hips and relentlessly pounding into you and soon enough you were screaming his name and begging for him to let you cum. This time he complied, chasing his own release shortly after yours crashed over you.

You giggled and he turned his head to look at you. “We’re going to be late now.” He laughed and pulled you against him to snuggle.

***

The party was more or less a success. You had turned up with Chen on your arm and hung out with your friends. It was almost too easy to forget why you were pissed with them when you were enjoying catching up on their lives and they were so engaged with yours but you didn’t forget.

When Suho came up to tell you how glad he was that Chen had come into your life so that you weren’t sad and alone any more you snapped. You told him in no uncertain terms that if it took having a boyfriend for him to want to catch up with you then he could shove his friendship up his ass because you deserved better. You didn’t hold back - you told him how upset you had been when all you wanted to do was hang out with your friends but you were rejected time and time again because you were alone. You told him how worthless he made you feel and how he should be ashamed of how he’d acted.

The party fell silent as everyone stood in shock at your outburst. After a few moments you heard a slow whistle followed by Baekhyun’s voice. “Dude, you fucked uuuup.” You turned on him next.

“No Baekhyun. All of you fucked up.” He shut up after that.

When you were done telling all of them just how terribly they’d treated you Chen took your arm and gently pulled you to him. “I think we’ll be taking our leave now.”

He took you home. The ride home was silent as he let you process your thoughts and emotions. He rested his hand on the console, palm facing up as an invitation to take his hand should you need it. You didn’t need it but you wanted the comfort of his touch so you took it and he gently squeezed your hand.

“For the record, you did the right thing and for what it’s worth I’m proud of you.” He paused. “I could see the internal struggle you were having all night and I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to go through with your plan.” His tone was so gentle and it made you feel warm and safe.

“Until I did it I honestly didn’t know if I would.” You whispered. He squeezed your hand again and continued driving in silence. When you arrived at your home he walked you up to your doorstep and embraced you. You relaxed into the hug and smiled.

“So, now comes the business end of my deal.” You stiffened at his words. You’d completely forgotten that he had told you there would be a price for having him pretend to be your boyfriend. Apprehension seeped through your veins as you waited for him to enlighten you.

His silence got the better of you. “What’s the price?”

“A real date. In three days time.” He watched your face break out into a genuine smile, one he could get used to seeing, before you pulled him down into a kiss.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it!

[acotarauweek]

Day 7: Free AU

Publishing Date: 15/12/19

What is a Free AU?

Free AU day means you can write for any au your heart desires. 

Below we have included a ridiculous amount of prompts for popular AUs that have not been featured in ACOTAR AU WEEK. You do not have to write for the AUs listed below, they are simply there to help anyone who is stuck and needs inspiration. Also, please feel free to use this list anytime you need! Thank you for being so patient with the reveals, we are so excited and can’t wait to see everyone’s work! Keep an eye on the blog as we will be sharing information about posting and answering any questions that may come our way.

Tags to use: #acotar au week day 7 #day 7 free au #acotar au week

Prompts under cut:

Royal AU:

“Your Queen recently died and shit we STILL can’t get married cause of our statuses damn it.”

bonus: “I’m the one who hired the assassin, well that’s a month’s worth of gold down the drain.”

“I’m not YOUR bodyguard but damn you’re fine.”

bonus: “The person I’m actually guarding is trying to hook us up, shit…”

“Haha, it’s cute that you think I need to be guarded. Or that you can keep track of me.”

bonus: “HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SECRET EXITS?!”

“I’ve been recently crowned king and I’m expected to choose a wife or husband soon. Oh what they don’t care about the gender but as soon as I want to marry my bodyguard my mother is threatening to disown me!”

“As a bodyguard, I should really be discouraging your budding feelings for me. Except, you know, I have them too and I was never very good at my job anyway.”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT’S AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WE NEED TO STOP THIS ‘RELATIONSHIP’ RIGHT NOW.” “Oh, so you want to throw away everything that happened these past few months? Fine.“

“Good news, I think I’m the missing royal child. Bad news, that means we might have to break up.”

“My wife wants a baby even though we just got married last week and met the week before that, and I don’t know how to tell her I’m gay.” “Want me to tell her?” “Please don’t.”

“Sire, please stop flirting with me in front of your potential suitors. It’s making it very hard for you to get married.” “Yeah, that’s the point.”

“… Excuse me, did you just propose to your bodyguard, sire?” “Yes. Is there something wrong?” “Except for the fact that you’re doing it at your wife’s funeral, no.”

More Royal AU prompts!

Teacher AU:

no wonder why you’re the football coach damn you’re fit au

you’re so wrong i’m going to stop my lecture to tell you why au

*aggressively argues for whose team is better even though they’re completely different sports* au

our students think we’re dating au

a student catches us texting to each other in class oh how the tables have turned au

we leave each other notes on the blackboards au

someone’s taking my lunches au

our classrooms are adjacent to each other and we can always see each other through the door windows au

i will yell at you even though both our doors are closed to shut up your class jesus christ au

our students see us leave the same car in the morning and guess what they think au

i’m the drama teacher and you’re the only who can actually act help me demonstrate this love scene to my students au

More Teacher AU prompts!

Fake Dating AU:

I brought you as my friend but my parents read our closeness as dating and only gave us one bed to share.

I had a bad week and I can’t decide what kind of cake I want so I want to do the wedding cake samples at the cake store but I need to do it with someone. Quick- Do you like cake and can you hold my hand?

I may or may not have told everyone we were dating i panicked bc i was the only single one at the time

there’s this creepy person that’s asking me out over text and could you pretend to be my significant other?

shit couples get 40% off??? hold my hand i’m getting that discount

everyone thinks we’re dating why don’t we pretend and then break up so people will finally get off our backs. foolproof plan except i didn’t expect to fall for you

i got stood up on a date and you were just grabbing dinner- shit my ex is here, sit down and pretend to laugh at something i said attractive stranger

More Fake Dating AU prompts!

Celebrity/Famous AU:

I really can’t sing please don’t pull me onstage AU

You’re my favorite singer and I won the chance to meet you this is so cool AU

You’re my favorite singer and I ran into you on the street/at the grocery store/at karaoke night AU

‘you’re a celebrity incognito trying to hide from paparazzi and you’re sitting right next to me and i’m the only one that recognizes you’ au

Some fans are chasing me please let me hide here,  i’ll pay you back, promise AU

You’re a famous singer, I’m your personal driver and you’re an absolute pain in the ass.

You’re a famous singer, I’m your personal driver and I always have to save your ass when you get in trouble at some party.

You’re my favorite celebrity, I know everything about you and my apartment is covered in your pictures, I dream about you all the time, but I’m not a stalker, I swear… okay, maybe I do have a little problem.

You’re an actor, you play a villain on this show and everyone hates you, but I’ll defend you to the death.

You’re a rock star and I’m your drug dealer, I shouldn’t care you’re fucking up your life, but I kinda do.

You’re a famous author and I’m your neighbor, I suspect the main character in your books is me, but I was too shy to ask, but now you killed me, I mean - in the books, and I lost my shit and went to yell at you because WHY???

You’re a famous politician and I’m that one journalist who asked that one question that possibly ruined your career, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.

You’re a former famous model with an eating disorder and I’m your therapist.

You’re a rock star and I’m the cop always going to your apartment when people complain about the loud parties you throw.

You’re a celebrity and I’m that one cop who pulled you over and gave you a fine and had no idea who you were, until I googled your name and holy crap, I should have asked for an autograph.

You’re a famous singer who’s almost got killed by a crazy fan, now you suffer from anxiety and don’t want to leave your apartment, I’m the person bringing you food and stuff, and I might be the only one you trust.

You’re a famous politician, I’m the detective with the task of protecting you, you were refusing to leave the building when I got the order to get you out, so I knocked you out and carried you out, now you’re going to sue me, I’m quite sure of that.

You’re a bored former rock star, I’m the escort you called and man, your place is a mess, don’t you want to do something about it before we fuck?

You’re a famous fashion designer, I used to be your favorite model but now you told me I gained too much weight and you don’t want me anymore and I’m crushed, I thought you liked me for more than my body.

You’re a famous YouTuber and I’m just starting my channel, but I sort of ridiculed you in one of my videos and now people laugh at you and you hate me.

You’re a famous person and I’m the actor supposed to play you in a movie.

You’re a famous singer who was jailed because of drunk driving and I’m your cellmate for the night, also I’m your biggest fan.

We are both actors on a well-known TV show and our characters have to kiss AU

“You’re a celebrity and I’m a paparazzo, sorry friend I have to take pictures of you to pay my rent next month” AU

I would include more celebrity AUs but this is a long list and I actually couldn’t find anymore (although I’m sure there are more, I just can’t find them)

Other AUs you could write for:

Single parent AU

Soulmate AU

Magic AU // Modern Magic AU

Criminal AU

1,001 AU Prompts here!

A-Z List of AUs

AU PROMPTS: MASTERLIST OF LISTS

Send us your questions here

Sign up here

Find our FAQ here

[fallinginlovewithstrangers]

Storybook (Kim Jonghyun)

{i don’t own the gifs}

Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a young prince. The prince, appropriately named Kim Jonghyun and affectionately nicknamed JR by the servants, developed an interest in the kingdom and everyone he would one day rule over, making him a man of the people from a young age.

With the exception of Prince Hwang Minhyun, Jonghyun was considered the odd one out by the royals of his age, often looking down on him for attending school with the commoners instead of hiring a tutor to teach him. Jonghyun preferred it this way though, for it helped him gain a new perspective and an understanding of how his people lived and he swore when he’d be king, he’d make the kingdom a much better place. 

As he grew up, the young prince partook in many activities, eventually befriending Kang Dongho, his future knight and Choi Minki, future tailor for the elite (on Jonghyun’s recommendation of course.)

Because the Hwangs and Kims were neighbors in the vast land, they met regularly, the kings quietly discussing the financial crisis while the queens bonded over tea. Jonghyun, Minhyun and his sister princess eventually learned to sneak out of the castles and wander into the town where they met Aron Kwak, a free spirit whose heart never stayed in one place until Minhyun offered him a job working around the castle. But even once Minhyun’s younger sister reached a certain age, she stopped hanging around, instead spending her days on practicing becoming a queen for potential suitors and learning her duties should she accept to rule alone.

Jonghyun never stopped learning, never stopped caring, never stopped being curious of anyone who resided in either kingdom which made him particularly familiar with a lot of people and fairly popular at that. He didn’t mind; it made him proud that he could be someone to other people.

And although he knew he would one day get married to become king, he wasn’t in a hurry to settle down...yet.  

*

“Son of a bitch,” Jonghyun swore as he knocked the glass of water over. He stood up before the water could fall into his lap and wet his clothes. 

“I told you not to leave it so close,” Minhyun commented before raising his own glass to his lips, pinkie out and drinking slowly so the coldness of the ice wouldn’t rush to his brain.

Jonghyun took out his handkerchief to dry up the water that managed to seep into his pants and onto his shirt. How that happened, he didn’t know but let it go. “Do you have an extra one?”

“No need, Hyung. Y/N!” 

In the blink of an eye, his newest servant appeared with a polite smile and a curtsey, ready for his orders. “Your Highness.” You turned to Jonghyun. “Your Highness.”

“Y/N, can you take Prince Charming here to my room? He, uh, had an accident,” he snickered. “There should be some clothes lying around somewhere. And tell Aron to bring us lunch if he isn’t busy.”

“Yes, sir.” You bowed at Minhyun. “Right this way your Highness.” You led him quietly out of the garden and into the castle, greeting a few of the nobles visiting the kingdom, and politely instructing Aron of the princes’ meals when they stopped in the kitchen.

“You don’t talk much, do you?” Jonghyun asked, trying to make conversation. He had been walking with his hands in his pockets, whistling loudly to fill the silence, but his lungs quit on him. He had seen you over the years in passing by in Minhyun’s village, sometimes getting bread or dropping off dresses with a seamstress, but never gave it a second thought. It could’ve been anyone serving Minhyun. But this was his first time alone with you.

You offered him an apologetic smile. “I’m still trying to get used to everything and everyone first. It’s quite overwhelming going from being a delivery person to serving royalty overnight...although it’s been almost a month.”

“Do you like it?”

“Everyone’s been very kind to me, and I seem to be doing a good job. I hope the Hwangs will have complete faith in me serving them. It’s a real honor.” You’d heard the story of their last servant stealing from them and how many things needed to be replaced and how much gold managed to get smuggled out. The kingdom had taken a hit and the poverty rate was slowly increasing, making you extremely lucky to have a job right now. 

“Have they caught the person responsible for the hardship of the kingdom?” When you shook your head, he sighed and excused himself to change into something drier, only to groan when he felt itchy in the attire. He needed to get Ren to design something for Minhyun, maybe for a birthday present or something and then maybe he’d see.

You were long gone when he stepped out so he made his way into the courtyard when he overheard the two kings in the library in a heated discussion. “Forgive me if I overstep any boundaries,” Minhyun’s father said, “but you are overstaffed and it’s only a matter of time before they figure that out. We’ve had to let some of our own people go for the same reason.”

“I know. But what else can we do? These people have entrusted us to look after them and it’d feel like we’re turning our backs on them. We’ve looked deep in the coal mines in search of more gold but everything’s empty. Many have left us as it is, but we’re still struggling. We are grateful for everything you’ve done for us. Thank you. Our only hope will be to merge the kingdoms.”

“Your Highness?” You tapped Jonghyun’s shoulder lightly, making him jump. “Lunch is ready.”

“Thank you Y/N,” he said quickly composing himself. 

“Is everything okay? You’re looking a little pale. Shall I send for a doctor?”

He shook his head. “I’m fine, thank you. Just a little jittery from probably not having lunch yet.” He extended his arm. “After you.”

*

Later that night, Jonghyun locked himself in the study room in hopes of finding a quick solution for the time being. He advised his servants not to bother him unless it was important. He unrolled a map that took up the entire table space and studied the blueprint. He dipped his quill in the inkwell, the tip lightly scritch-scratching on the paper. He circled the locations where he could probably find something, crossed out the places where the king said he searched and turned up with nothing, and making notes on where he could explore for himself just to make sure. He needed a better plan, he knew, but he wanted to help as much as he could. He couldn’t let his people down like this, not when they needed him. He paused when he heard a soft knock on the door. “Yeah?” he said rubbing his eyes.

“The queen would like to know if you’re okay Your Highness. You’ve been up here for hours and she’s worried,” Dongho said, holding a tray. “I told her you’d be having your meal up here.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. Just put it down anywhere. I just need to finish this.” The scent of food finally reached his nostrils. “That smells good. What is it?”

“I’m not sure Your Highness. It actually came from the Hwang kingdom.” Dongo set the tray on one of the chairs closest to Jonghyun.

“That’s nice of them,” he said. He took off the silver lid that held its contents, inhaling the smell of the bibimbap. He frowned a little at a note folded up neatly on the side. “Dongho, can you bring me some chopsticks. I don’t see anything here.” Once he was alone, he unfolded the note, not recognizing the handwriting but smiling when he saw who it was from. 

Prince Minhyun said you didn’t eat much at lunch, so I sent you this. Enjoy. -Y/N.

*

“Did you find what you were looking for Your Highness?” Dongho asked once they were in familiar territory again. He couldn’t believe he had been talked into nearly getting lost in the woods.

“No, but if we could just go a little further out next time, then I’m sure we would.” He petted his horse gently, offering him an apple slice. “I feel it Dongho! I know that we can at least fix the water problem; we just have to keep going.”

“Your Highness, I admire your perseverance, but we’re not prepared for something like this.”

“Listen to me though. Finding water means our people won’t die of thirst and if we can find a body of water, we can catch fish and if we catch fish, they won’t die of hunger.”

“But they will die if they’re allergic to fish,” Baekho mumbled to himself and Jonghyun whacked him.

“Not the point.”

“I know you want to save the people hyung, I get it. What I don’t understand is how you’re putting pressure on yourself to do this when it isn’t even your responsibility. The king is still alive, and there’s pressure to find a princess to marry. So why are you doing it?”

“Just as you said. I want to save the people. But I also want to feel like a competent leader when I’m king. I don’t want them to have doubts. And if I can save my people, Minhyun’s people will have a chance too.”

“There are always gonna be problems and there will always be people who doubt you. Your mind is in the right place and that’s all that matters.” He fed his own horse a carrot and he whinnied happily. 

They rode the rest of the way in silence, JR trying to remember everything on the map and Baekho watching the area carefully to make sure nothing seemed out of place. Thankfully not many people held a grudge against the innocent prince but one could never be too sure. He heard about a fellow knight who had accidentally eaten some poisoned strawberries meant for the princess he was supposed to be protecting, and how the princess never left his side until he recovered. They were married now, so at least they had a happy ending. 

The pair stopped in the town to do a checkup since neither seemed in a rush to get back to the castle. Jonghyun may have been a strong person but he had a fragile heart and it hurt him to see his kingdom falling apart. Many shops were boarded up shut from the families who couldn’t live there anymore and instead moved somewhere they could afford to live. The king had taken a great risk moving some of them into the castle but he supposed he’d rather have Minki there than anywhere else. Still, he saw his reflection on the glass of his parents’ tailor shop and Jonghyun turned away, feeling partially responsible even though it had nothing to do with him. 

He got off his high horse (literally), and picked up all the trash he saw, surprised that no one bothered to clean up. Once his people recognized him, they bowed respectfully and offered to take the trash he collected which he obliged. Not noticing his knight had left, Dongho returned with a bowl of porridge since they hadn’t eaten since leaving and Jonghyun refrained from shoveling the whole thing in his mouth, despite the lack of flavor. The people used the opportunity to bombard him with questions and concerns of the town, as they made a circle around him, overwhelming him and getting nervous. He answered as honestly as he could but it didn’t seem to be enough. And just as quickly, a small fire flown over their heads and near one of the stands made them disperse and turn their focus on that.

He felt someone grab his hand and run straight for the castle. It didn’t take him long to figure out that it was you but he was still astounded. You yelled for the guard to open the gates and laughing once you made it safely inside. Dongho headed straight for the stables, letting Jonghyun compose himself.

“Your Highness,” you said in between breaths, “what brings you out of the castle so late in the afternoon?”

“Exploring,” he admitted. “I wanted to see something but we got lost and turned around.” He stared at you wondering what was so out of place. “Why are you here roaming the kingdom?”

“The queen swears the vegetables here are the best in the land, so she sent me on an errand.” You frowned. “Only...I dropped them saving you.”

“That’s something I can repay fairly quickly. Follow me.” 

You walked inside, admiring the place. Much like the family you worked for, it was neat and seemed busy, with pages and squires and noblemen walking throughout the halls, charming anyone willing to listen. The portraits scattered along the walls, the past rulers keeping an eye around and pictures of the young prince growing up adorned the opposite side. You smiled at the humanity radiating off of him, enchanted at how his people loved him. “Did you really go to school with us commoners?” You asked in awe, stopping in front of one. 

“Yeah,” he said humbly. “I grew up with the servants here and a lot of them had kids my age. My parents were kind enough to let them in the castle so when they started school, I thought it’d be a good idea to follow them there. I met my two best friends there, no offense to your Prince Charming.”

“Prince Minhyun did say you were an odd one,” you commented. “Your Highness-”

“Please call me JR or Jonghyun.”

“JR,” you cleared your throat to hide your embarrassment at dropping the formality, “these people mean a lot to you, don’t they?” 

He nodded. “They’ve always had so much faith in us, and to feel like we’re not giving them our all, it feels like treason. I went out with Dongho because I was so sure we’d find a river or something and that would help with some of our problems. My people are starving or dying of thirst and a lot of them are leaving. I want to make my kingdom a better place.”

“Your Highness, I don’t know you that well, but I think you’re going to be a great king.” You patted his shoulder. “From the way I see you treat not just your own people, but Prince Minhyun’s too. I hear them speak highly of you in our village.”

*

From then on, a quiet friendship blossomed between you and Jonghyun, whether he met you at Minhyun’s castle or in either of the villages, he always greeted you with a smile and a promise of an adventure, no matter how short of a time you had together. You played harmless pranks on Minhyun like getting him to clap three times at a lamp so a “genie” would come out and often had Aron running around the castle because you’d tell him you lost Jonghyun. The Hwangs also started to have you send messages to the Kims for official business. If it got too late for Jonghyun to send you back (even with Dongho), he had you stay in a guest room, despite you being a servant. Both parties trusted you not to open the letters so you took this job very seriously. 

Jonghyun’s favorite pastime was reading quietly in the courtyard where no one could bother him unless it was to bring him his meals. He often raised his glass as a toast when he saw you roaming with his parents.

He also enjoyed tending to the gardens, something didn’t think he’d like because of the patience he lacked. You found him there many times talking to the plants, praising them and encouraging them to be the most beautiful in all the land. He had the habit of cutting off a flower and offering it to you if he saw you and pouting whenever you rejected it...which didn’t happen often.

He seemed happiest taking his flute lessons outside too because he swore music made the flowers grow faster. He enjoyed your company, fleeting as it was, so whenever your paths crossed, he made sure to keep a smile on your face with his own song for you as a goodbye if he couldn’t walk you to the gate.

He used these distractions to keep himself occupied from the kingdom’s troubles. His dreams, or rather, nightmares began plaguing him late into the night from not finding the source of water to the day of the coronation when his people decided to start a revolution and their first order of business was to overthrow him. They kept him up late at night and sometimes carried on into the morning. They seemed to get especially worse when you stopped coming by and he wondered what could’ve stopped.

*

“I’m sorry, what?” Jonghyun stuck his finger in his ear, cleaning it to make sure he heard right. “Let me get this straight...you want me to marry Minhyun’s sister.” The chicken is his mouth no longer tasted good to him.

“Are you really that surprised?” The king asked. “What do you think we’ve been doing all this time?”

“Trying to figure out what we’re gonna do about the kingdom.”

“My boy, this marriage is the only way to save our people. My time is coming to an end and soon it will be time for you to be crowned king. Now, wipe that look off your face. They’ll be by shortly and we can discuss everything.”

The servants had just finished clearing their plates when the page announced the Hwangs’ arrival. The King and Queen came into view first, regal and elegant as ever, followed by the prince and princess, admiring the place as if they’d never set foot there, and finally, you, head down and fingers laced together in front of you. 

“Your Majesties,” you curtsied. “Your Highness.” 

“Y/N, always a pleasure to see you,” the Queen greeted you kindly. “I trust you’ve been well.” 

“Very, thank you. I’m sorry I haven’t been in some time. They’ve kept me busy with all the wedding preparations.” You turned your attention briefly to Jonghyun. “Congratulations, Your Highness. It will be my honor to serve you in the future.”

“I look forward to having you.” At least a good thing that would come out of the marriage would be getting to see you more often. He missed you a lot more than he thought he did, but he was a bit surprised when he didn’t see you smile back at him.

The princess looped her arm through his, bringing back to the present moment. “I can’t believe this is happening!”

“Me neither.” He didn’t know why the idea didn’t excite him. The loyalties between the Kims and the Hwangs dated back as early as the first monarchs, complete with treaties swearing to never declare war on each other and even splitting riches among each other. This was a first in uniting the two families. 

“Okay, Y/N, since you will also become part of this family, allow me to take you to the best tailor in all the land and one the only person JR will allow to make his clothes,” his mother continued. “Choi Minki is simply an artist in what he makes.”

“Thank you,” you smiled at her. “It’ll be good to make sure he knows how the princess likes her dresses and I’ll have some familiarity in how Prince Jonghyun likes his clothes folded and all the like.”

Jonghyun followed the queens and you, with his bride to be right next to him, painting a picture of the wedding she imagined. He had to admit that the idea didn’t sound bad but he just couldn’t see himself in her vision or her in his. He nodded along to everyone talking until they reached Minki’s private corner of the castle and you two were introduced, getting straight to work on the dress and the suit fit for the future king and queen.

It pleased JR to know how easily you got along but a little later when he went back to tell Ren about a hole in favorite shirt, he saw you holding onto his shoulder, gasping for air and Minki egging you on, his heart stopped. He felt foolish for thinking he had been the only one to make you laugh that hard. He backed away slowly unnoticed.

*

You could hear Jonghyun moaning from the stomach pain but you couldn’t go in yet. The engagement party had ended abruptly once the prince ate a piece of rotten beef and came down with flu-like symptoms almost immediately after. The Kings and Queens rushed you and the servants to apologize to everyone attending and had you come straight back. The clock, funnily enough, struck midnight as you entered the room. Somehow someone managed to calm everyone down and assured everyone that Jonghyun wasn’t gonna die, but it’d be awhile until he felt well again. You volunteered to stay with him so everyone could get some rest. While you didn’t have experience watching over this particular prince, someone had to do it and everyone had a full day come morning. You wiped the sweat from his forehead which you swore he blushed from embarrassment. You got him to sit up slowly so he could drink water so he wouldn’t dehydrate, but it didn’t help him too much, so you disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared.

“I need you to drink this,” you said quietly when he wrinkled his nose at the smell and looked for the bucket.

“What is it?” 

“It’s tea with mint from the garden. It should settle your stomach.” You poured the tea into a small cup and blew on it until he could drink without scalding his tongue.

He shook his head. “I don’t wanna. It smells gross.”

“Your Highness, please. If you stop throwing up, we can try feeding you soup or bananas, or something just so you can feel better.” The cold sweat hadn’t subsided yet and you hoped this would do the trick. “Just a little bit. You don’t even have to finish it.”

“Promise?”

You held out your pinkie. “Promise.”

The series of events that happened next involved him throwing up on you and the bedsheets the moment he tried swallowing the tea and him apologizing for it and you running to get changed and bringing extra sets of clothes just in case with you reassuring him that you expected that. You convinced him to take a warm bath while you changed the sheets and threw the dirty ones outside the room. He tried falling asleep to no avail so he kept downing water which made him go to the bathroom every few minutes but he was too weak so you had to grab hold of him so he’d be able to walk without falling over. The food poisoning finally wore off a little before sunrise and he was finally able to eat again, but only after making sure he could stomach the mint tea. He ended up falling asleep with the spoonful of soup in his hand and you removed it so he’d be able to sleep in peace. You cleaned up his little area from his messes, tossing the other dirty dresses he managed to throw up on along with the bedsheets. 

You took one look at him once you finished, relieved at the color finally back on his cheeks and brushed the hair from his forehead, smiling sadly. Why did it have to be him? *

JR’s first order of business once he fully recovered was convincing his parents he didn’t wanna marry Minhyun’s sister. It didn’t feel right and it wouldn’t solve any problems. (His days of bedrest led him to obsessively look up the finances of both families and deducing that it wouldn’t help anyone.) When that didn’t work out, he packed a light backpack and headed out to clear his head without telling anyone he’d be gone. He climbed on his horse and together the rode off unnoticed into the forest, Jonghyun confiding his troubles to the white stallion and enjoying the fresh air, the temperature falling steadily the further they rode out. He had just wrapped a blanket around himself when he found himself toppling to the floor and Aesop on his hind legs, the fight or flight instinct kicking in. Jonghyun managed to roll to his side when Aesop kicked before taking off and leaving him stranded. Not far from him, he heard a rattle and he quickly got to his feet, looking for his stallion.

He felt like he walked in every direction, but everywhere looked the same. He could see the darkness start to kiss the sky and he at least hoped he’d find shelter soon. He’d read stories about ghosts and wolves coming out at night and he didn’t wanna be outside to find out. He was about to give up when he found a mine and went inside without a second thought. Inside, Jonghyun lit a small fire to keep warm and view his surroundings. He didn’t know how long he’d be in here, but he hoped someone would find him soon, seeing as though he didn’t have enough food to last him. He panicked a little when it started raining, the wind whistling and the water falling where it pleased made him start hearing things. He sat down in a ball, covering his ears with his hands when the thunder started. He just had to survive the night and then it’d be over.

“Your Highness!” A voice called out loud enough for him to uncover his ears momentarily. “Prince Jonghyun...JR! Make some noise so I know where you’re at? Your Highness!”

A moment later, you found him in that position, inside with no protection. “Jonghyun, there you are!” Wet as you were from the rain, you rushed to him and gave him a hug, surprised when he wrapped his arms around you.

“Don’t go away,” he whispered, unsure as to how you found him to begin with, but not wanting to ruin the moment that he wasn’t alone. You were there with him and that’s all that mattered.

*

It seemed like forever when you were dry again but the bigger problem was the cold you knew you’d get once this was over. The rain wasn’t letting up anytime soon but at least the thunder had stopped. “Your Highness, what are you doing so far away from home? We were all worried sick.”

“How did you find me?”

“I asked first.”

“I...got into a fight with my father and I wanted to get away for a little while.” Out of the corner of his eye, he swore something gleamed, but when he wiped the water away, it was gone. “Now you.”

“Aesop showed up startled. He wouldn’t stop neighing or shaking until we followed him and Mocha got your scent. He left as soon as I found you but they won’t look for us until daylight, probably.” You had never been more thankful for a guard dog than in that moment. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “I will be now.” He stared at the flames intently as if hoping they’d give him a sign. “I wasn’t running away.” He felt the need to explain what’s been on his mind, even if he couldn’t quite get it out. “I just...Y/N, friend to friend, can I ask you something?”

Your heart flip flopped around your chest when you nodded. “Seeing as we’re gonna be here awhile, why not?”

“Do you think I’m making the right decision marrying the princess? I know they’re your family to serve, but I can’t help but wonder.”

“Your Highness-”

“Jonghyun.”

“Jonghyun,” you tried again, “the Hwangs are wonderful people, as wonderful as your family. I’m indebted to them for keeping me with them as they let more of their servants and other staff go.”

He nodded, expecting this answer. “But is it something I should do? For my people, her people even if nothing else adds up? Is it worth becoming king? Could you do it if you were the princess? Answer me honestly.”

You looked at him next to you, the warmth on your cheeks having nothing to do with the fire. “Yo-Jonghyun, what’s this about?”

“I’m in love with someone who isn’t the princess.” You watched him clasp his fingers together and unclasp them, playing with them. “She’s helped me through so much and I couldn’t help but fall. I want nothing more than to marry her and make her as happy as she’s made me.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, but then again you didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t that. “What are you gonna do then? What do you wanna do?”

He didn’t answer since something distracted him again. He stood up and walked toward the shine, scratching the surface of the wall. When that didn’t work, he rummaged through his backpack until he found a spoon and tried again. He dug really slowly so the silverware wouldn’t bend or break, scratching away patiently.

Meanwhile, you stared at the flames, enjoying the way they changed color. Eventually, it’d die down until nothing but the embers remained, and then go off completely until the cool ashes provided the only proof branches and twigs burned there. But for now, they burned brightly and beautifully, providing enough warmth, light and protection for you to close your eyes and fall asleep. You didn’t know how faraway daybreak was, but you found the prince (spooked but safe and intact), so you earned your nap. You jumped when Jonghyun tapped your shoulder, expecting him to still be stuck to the rocks, but still your eyes stayed closed. “Yes Your Highness?” you mumbled. 

You heard him chuckle, but nothing else, but you felt him drape something over you. “It’s nothing. Sleep now. I’ll show you later. Good night.”

*

The cave ended up being a mine full of diamonds, much to everyone’s dismay and relief which helped the Hwangs and the Kims with the poverty problem. It brought back their old people who were, after many years, finally able to reopen their shops and with that, brought more people to visit. Jonghyun solved the water problem by providing jobs to his people to dig from his kingdom to the nearest water source so they’d be able to have water closer to home. With that, the crops flourished, enabling farmers to settle down there too.

His heart felt full at seeing Minki back where he belonged and Dongho in an armor suit that protected him the way it was supposed to be. Minhyun sent the page often telling him of the growth of his own kingdom which focused more on education than anything else which kept him content. 

At seeing the boy’s success, the king knew he reached the end of the line. Jonghyun did everything he wanted for his people: give them a better life and thrive. So he relinquished his position and stepped down proudly. Jonghyun on the other hand, wanted to accomplish one more thing before he could be crowned king, and he needed your help. He paid a visit to the Hwangs, mumbling his apologies but it was important for him to see you. He found you helping Aron clearing a table in one of their libraries to prep the prince and princess for a lesson. After Jonghyun successfully threw a crumpled piece of paper, you excused yourself, greeting JR with a bow and a shy smile, while wiping your hands on your apron. He licked the tip of his thumb and wiped a smudge of ink off your cheek. 

“How can I help you, Your Highness?” you asked, trying to ignore your reddening cheeks. 

“Walk with me, Y/N. I have a lot of things to talk to you about before my coronation.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You have my word. I’ll be there.” You paused. “I’m sorry you’re not marrying our princess.”

“In a way, I am too, but I know she’s more of a lone wolf. Ruling with her would’ve been somewhat difficult. But since I also grew up with her, I don’t think I could’ve ever fallen in love with her either.” He smiled at you, letting you take the lead.

“It’s beautiful outside today. Would you like to see the gardens? The carnations are lovely this time of year.”

“Wherever you’d like. I have all day.”

“You most certainly do not. You probably canceled a big important meeting because of me.”

“Actually, you’re the most important meeting I have all day.”

“Your Highness, you’re making me nervous.”

“Okay, I’ll get to the point...you care about me, right?” You nodded quickly but didn’t say anything. “And if I need something, I can count on you, right?” He dug into his pocket when you nodded again. “So can I ask you a question that could change both of our lives?”

“Your Highness, I don’t think I can just up and be your servant. My loyalties lie here.”

“I’m here because I’m looking for my bride. Rumor has it, she lives here.”

“Who’s the lucky girl?” you asked after a moment of silence, your heart deflating a little. 

He met your gaze, unwavering and as confident as you’ve ever heard from the future king. “You.” He held out his hands out to you and you gingerly moved the top hand, letting you see a diamond he had taken out. It wasn’t big or flashy but it still rendered you speechless. “I found this the night you found me.”  He took your hand and dropped it in. When you closed your hand over it, he covered yours with his. “Do me the greatest honor and marry me.”

“Your Highness-”

“You bring riches to everyone around you and you don’t even know how bright you shine...you’re a diamond in the rough. You care for everyone around you...why would the people outside the kingdom be any different?”

*

You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and you tried to breathe normally, but you could feel the thin veil suffocate you. The only thing that kept you going was Jonghyun waving at you and the crowd laughing. It was a public event, the regals and the commoners coming together to celebrate the occasion. The coronation happened moments ago, but Jonghyun didn’t care too much for it. He had been dreaming of becoming king his whole life. Spending the rest of his life you, however, he couldn’t wait. Even though you were finally at arm’s length, he couldn’t help but take your hand and hold it tightly, rushing you to get started. 

Then grin never left his face, not when the clergy started his sermon, not when you said your vows or even exchanged rings, and especially not when the clergy said, “By the power vested in me, you may kiss the bride,” and he lifted the veil from your face and gave you a kiss so passionate, so raw, so much love and adoration, you couldn’t help but cry tears of joy and wrapped your arms him, and kissed him back.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I happily present King Kim Jonghyun and Queen Kim Y/N.”

And you lived happily ever after.

[beedalee]

Magical Girl Adoptables - GREEN on DeviantART

🌠 Adoptable Terms of Service 🌠 What Are Adoptables? 🌠

🌠  RULES/INFO:

- Terminology: OPEN = available | #/# = number of designs left on sheet | HOLD = 24/48 hour hold is active | PENDING = invoice sent | SOLD = adopted - First come, first serve! I will hold for 24 hours- My Paypal Invoices will expire after 24 hours after they are sent! - I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason! Please be polite when inquiring about buying a design. - You may buy the design as a gift for someone else, but you must tell me who the giftee is! Contact me via note if it's a surprise! - After payment is received, you will get the FULL SIZE, un-watermarked, transparent version of the design you purchased! Please do not upload the full size anywhere to prevent theft, and do not remove my signature from the design for any reason! Please read my ToS and Adoptables journal linked above for more information. - Lace border credit: here!

🌠  PAYMENT:

- I accept paypal, debit/credit (no paypal account required), or DA points equal to the cash value! - If you pay by e-check/directly via bank account, I will send the full res after the payment clears! Please leave sufficient funds in your bank for it to clear properly like a one would with a regular check. Read my ToS for more info! - You receive the full size un-watermarked transparent version of the design after payment has been received! Thank you!!

Please click the read-more for information, order form, and availability status; OR go to the deviantart link above! If you want to buy one via tumblr, please private message me, do not use asks or they may get lost!  💓  If you have a question please don't hesitate to ask!!! I'll do my best to help you out!

🌠 Temporary Limit: 1 DESIGN PER PERSON! (This includes via gifting) Limitation expires MONDAY, April 8th at 3:00pm MST 🌠

Gifting limit is 1 gift per buyer, and only if the giftee hasn't already purchased one on this sheet themselves! Example: Buyer 1 may purchase 'adopt A' for themselves and purchase 'adopt C' as a gift for Person 2- ONLY IF Person 2 has not bought one themselves. Giftees cannot buy a 2nd one during this limitation if they have been gifted one already! This post will be updated and watchers notified when this limit is over, thank you for understanding! 💓

🍃 45.00 USD EACH! [ALL SOLD, THANK YOU!] 🍃

Each comes with little character blurbs, but you don't have to keep them! Feel free to change their powers/theme color/gender id/personality to your liking. Also, feel free to shift their color theme as well! These are just fun prompts for me. 

🍃 ROW 1:

GAMMA MODE: [ SOLD! ]

- A serious, intense, beautiful man, he's secretive and intimidating and not one to let others close to him. He's got an iron grip on his prowess as a fighter, and often goes lone-wolf despite the protest of others- including authority figures. Some suspect he has a dark secret he's guarding, but is it that he's just misunderstood...?

Forest Fortress: [ SOLD! ]

- A glamorous, ambitious city girl is forced to relocate to a beautiful but rural area for her highly sought after photography work... but there is something especially different about the forest near her rented cabin. A ring of mushrooms and a distant song lead her into a world she'd never believe existed- and they are in desperate need her help...

Whispering Winds: [ SOLD! ]

- A wallflower whose only friend is her music playlist, she's meek and whispery, tending to fade into the background. Though she often is mistreated by her peers, she has little self esteem to do anything about it. She can be seen talking softly to plants and animals, completely unaware of her magical influence on them. If she were brave enough to share, it'd be clear she has a lovely singing voice.

🍃 ROW 2:

Petite Peridot: [ SOLD! ]

- A spoiled daughter of a CEO, this little lady has a sharp eye for quality and an even sharper judge of character. She is bossy, opinionated, prim, and dutiful; her reputation is very important to her despite how often she gets into debates with anyone and everyone. She knows what she wants in life and how to get it- and being a magical girl and becoming friends with her teammates was NOT part of that plan....

Emerald Summoner: [ SOLD! ]

- A gentle, quiet tomboy, she spends all her time outdoors; hiking, camping, rock climbing, jogging with her dog... she's got an explorer's heart and knows a lot about the wilderness. She has a very spiritual connection with a mysterious emerald heirloom pendant from long ago, and recently it's been glowing and swaying, like it's trying to take her somewhere...

Radioactive: [ SOLD! ]

- Cheeky, mischievous, and friendly, he's your average guy- just out to have a good time with his friends, laugh, and get a few thrills. He loves amusement parks and free food, and has more than once been suckered into entering private property on a dare. Unfortunately, something particularly radioactive was lurking at one of the sites he and his friends decided to snoop around, pulling them into danger they never bargained for...

🍃 ROW 3:

Viridian Rose: [ SOLD! ]

- A sweet botanist with a bright future and a brighter smile! She's a casual socialite with her future planned out, so her schedule is hardly ever empty. Though she adores plants, she's quite frightened of her powers for a while, a very pacifistic person that would hesitate to hurt anyone. She tends to have a lot of suitors, but it's hard to say if she's not ready for a relationship or if she's already got her eye on someone.

Airship Pirate: [ SOLD! ]

- By day, they're just an ordinary mechanic- working and repairing airships and whatever else comes through their shop with skilled ease. Impish with a devil-may-care attitude, they're often getting into arguments with their boss, but seem content with their modest living. By night, however... they are a notorious airship pirate, with a ship they pieced together themselves, robin hooding riches with their team of bandits!

Cosmic Cheer: [ SOLD! ]

- A bubbly, sporty girl on the cheerleading squad, she is a ball of starshine and an optimist through and through- she puts her whole heart into everything she does and would readily jump to any friend's aid. She can be naive and sometimes overbearing with her shiny personality, but she can't help that she gives everything 100%! 

🌠 ORDERING:

You MUST include the order form in your comment or note, or you may miss out on the adoptable! Please use it. If you're on mobile, you may just type it out instead of copying it if it's easier. Here's a breakdown of each entry:

do you agree to my ToS?: by writing "yes", you agree to the terms and conditions listed in it, so be sure to read it!

payment method: paypal, DA points, bank or debit, credit card, etc!

email: either your paypal email or an active email i can send the paypal invoice to. If a family member or friend is paying on your behalf, you must state that here.

design name: name of the design you're buying, which is listed on the design sheet!

is it a gift? optional, you don't have to include this section if it's just for you! if you want the recipient of this gift private, please note me your order form instead!

🌠  ORDER FORM:

do you agree to my ToS?: payment method: email: design name: is it a gift:

[omgitsemilyward]

and after the show it’s the after party, a Great News fic

After losing at the American Journalism Awards, The Breakdown crew heads back to MMN to steal some wine and have their own after party.

A/N:  This is a tag to episode 2.04 “Award Show,” based off an idea I actually had this summer (my idea had them at the Daytime Emmys, but it still works).  There’s a good amount of Katie/Greg slowburn in this, but this was really just me trying to get used to writing for this show, so I apologize if it’s a big rough.  Hope you enjoy :)

While Katie and Jeremy were hobnobbing and exchanging business cards, Portia ran up to them.

“Katie, there you are!  Your mom had the best idea.  Since we probably aren’t invited to the after party anymore, we’re gonna steal the Morning Wine’d Up cart of wine again! Come on, let’s go,” she said as she started to pull Katie toward the door. “Your friend here can come too.”

“Oh, wanna join us and get some free, stolen booze?” Katie asked.  Jeremy smiled but looked disappointed as he shook his head.

“I actually have my own after party to go to with my coworkers, but maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime?” He asked.  Katie blushed, knowing Portia was soaking up all of this. 

“I would love that.”

“Cool, I’ll send you a message on LinkedIn,” he teased, winking at her.  She giggled a little too loudly and waved goodbye as Portia pulled her towards the party bus and berated her with a million questions about this new mystery suitor.

—

Everyone on the party bus was already pretty wasted by the time they got to MMN.  While people did more shots, re-capped the Kanye moments, or called their would-be plus-one’s to have them head over to MMN, Portia and Carol found a “quiet” corner of the bus to drill Katie about Jeremy.

“Is he cute?” Carol asked.

“So cute!” Portia interjected.

“He works for The New York Times, and he asked me out!” Katie said, dreamily.

“I’m gonna have such smart, attractive grandbabies!”

“Mom!”

—

Greg reluctantly texted Cat.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to come.  Okay, maybe it was. 

Things hadn’t been going well for them the past couple months.  And like he kept reminding himself, it most certainly had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he almost kissed Katie.  If he was being completely honest with himself, before the almost kiss, he had already been considering ending it, and almost kissing Katie and almost getting caught had reminded him that he had a girlfriend that he needed to be faithful to until they officially ended things.

But nothing changed between him and Cat after that night, and if anything things had gotten worse, because his heart really wasn’t in it anymore (he just didn’t want to admit it).  

Cat’s flaws were also starting to drive him more and more crazy as well.  He never really noticed just how full of herself she was.  She was also spending most of her time trying to get her new app she was designing off to a good start, and was constantly working.  When she wasn’t working, she’d then go spend time with her friends as soon as she was free for the night. He could tell she wasn’t feeling their relationship anymore either, and he wondered why they were even still pretending anymore.  

In fact, the whole mishap with him being blamed for not allowing plus-one’s actually worked out in his favor: he had called her to tell her about the awards when they found out they won, and she was already looking starting to come up with excuses as to why she couldn’t go.

He was surprised when she texted him back almost immediately:

Sounds fun babe, see you soon!

Maybe it would’t be that bad after all.  Or at least he’d get to prove to everyone that his girlfriend wasn’t actually a cat. 

—

The music was bumping and the wine was flowing.  Everyone seemed to completely forget about the fact that they had lost their award, and they were just happy to party it up in the office (for free).  Like during Snowmageddon, Carol was the life of the party and was encouraging everyone to: “Get lit! I just learned that word from Angie, who learned it from her grandson.  See, I can be as hip as the rest of you kids!”

“Wait,” Chuck interrupted, reaching for a pen and some paper, “start over, I want to know everything you just said.”

Katie was rolling her eyes at them when she noticed Greg joining them with a woman she didn’t recognize.

“Hi everyone, this is my girlfriend, Cat.”

Katie couldn’t describe what exactly she had imagined whenever Greg had talked about him (okay, she 100% imagined some sort of cat-meets-woman crossover), but she certainly wasn’t expecting a tall redheaded bombshell with the most perfect smile she had ever seen.

“Wow you’re so pretty- I mean, hi I’m drunk- I mean Katie,” she introduced herself, feeling a bit mortified.  Cat laughed and shook Katie’s hand.

“Oh, you must be Greg’s mentee!” Cat started, and Katie raised an eyebrow at Greg, who was refusing to look at either of them. “He’s been bragging about you all week, how in only a year you were already nominated and it was probably because he trained you so well and how he’s so proud or whatever.”

“Oh he really said that?” Katie asked, smirking, but Cat was already moving on, distracted by more important people

“Oh my god, Greg, you didn’t tell me Portia was going to be here!  You can finally introduce me to her.  I have to tell her about my new app and see if I can get her to tweet about it.” Greg made an apologetic face to Katie as she pulled him away. 

“I do not like her,” Carol said when the couple was out of earshot. “No wonder he wanted to kiss you so badly.”

“Ugh, mom, let it go.”

—

It was getting late, and Katie needed some air to try to sober up.  She escaped to the MMN rooftop.  With all the running around looking for her mom, arguing (and flirting) with Jeremy, and everyone Kanye-ing, she hadn’t taken a second to realize that she had actually lost her award. Two awards, in fact!  She was pretty sure it was the booze making her emotional, but she started to tear up a little, and took a couple deep breaths.

“Calm down, Katie,” she said to herself, looking out at the city as she leaned against the railing, “I don’t know why you’re getting all upset, you knew you weren’t going to win anyways. You’re not good enough, you idiot!”

“Now, that’s not true.” said a voice from behind her.  Startled, she quickly turned around to see Greg standing there, hands in his pockets. She tried to wipe away her tears as fast as possible.

“You scared the crap out of me!  Anyways, you’re just being nice.”

“I’m not!  I meant what I said earlier: you really did deserve that award, and you’re certainly allowed to be upset that you lost.  If it means anything, I’m really proud of you.”  She blushed.

“Well thanks, but I feel like, since you’re my mentor, you’re supposed to say stuff like that,” she teased, and he groaned as he moved next to her to lean against the wall of the roof.

“Dear god, I can’t believe she told you that.  That’s completely embarrassing. All I meant was-” 

“No, it’s fine!  Besides, it’s totally true.  I mean, Diana was my mentor for like two weeks, but you had been mentoring me way before her.  The Biscuit Blitz story happened before she showed up, and I couldn’t have broke that story without you.  It might’ve been unspoken, but you’ve definitely been a mentor to me.”

They smiled at each other, holding each other’s gaze much longer than necessary, but neither of them felt uncomfortable by it.  Katie tried to ignore the fact that she felt the same butterflies in her stomach as she did on the night when they had almost kissed.

“How did you know I was up here, anyways?”

“Oh, right, I just kind of guessed, but I didn’t know why you were up here.  Also, everyone’s looking for you.  They want you to give the speech you would’ve given tonight.”

“Oh God,” she groaned, grabbing Greg’s arm.  “Please tell me you’re joking.”

He shook his head. “Nope, time to get down there, Wendelson,” he said, pushing her toward the stairs.

“Is this some sort of mentor-hazing thing?! You bastard!”

—

It wasn’t a mentor-hazing thing.  Someone had set up a microphone on the top of the open staircase, and when everyone saw Katie they started chanting “Speech! Speech! Speech!”

Greg continued to push her towards the mic, and she glared at him. “I blame you for this,” she muttered at she neared the makeshift stage.

“Uh, hi everyone,” she started and her drunk audience cheered. “I know it’s pretty cliche to say this, but I didn’t really have anything prepared.  But I guess I’ll give it a go anyways:  I’d like to first and foremost thank everyone I work with here at The Breakdown.  It was your hard work and dedication to be outstanding journalists that allowed us to break the real Biscuit Blitz story-”

“and we really wanted to take down Gram!” Justin yelled.

“Yes,” Katie laughed, “taking down Gram was a big part of it too.  I, uh, also need to thank Greg, who has been such a good mentor this past year,” she said with a smirk.  She didn’t see him rolling his eyes behind her. “He was the one who gave me the opportunity to do the story, and even though he actually fired me at one point, he’s not only been a good mentor, but also a really great friend.”  She looked back at him and this and smiled, and he beamed at her.

“But most importantly, I have to thank my mom, Carol Wendelson-” the entire office cheered, and some people started chanting Carol’s name.  Katie, meanwhile, could feel herself choking up already. “If it hadn’t been for her, my award-nominated story would’ve never happened.  She has always been there for me and has been such a great role model, and continues to do so every single day.  I’m just so lucky to get to work with her everyday.  Thanks mom.”

Everyone cheered again and Katie tried to pull herself together.

“I know we didn’t win tonight, but like I said earlier, we deserved to!  You all worked so hard and I’m so proud to say I work here, with every single one of you.  So thank you all for being the best news team in the biz!”

Someone passed her a glass of champagne and she raised it to toast everyone. The music came back on, but it wasn’t just any music:

Hit It! Nah, na na na nah Na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah Na na na nah…

And in a whirlwind, Carol was dragging Katie to the middle of the dance floor, and they did the Here Comes the Hotstepper dance together.

—

Greg couldn’t take his eyes off Katie as she did the hip hop dance he remembered her doing when she was a field reporter for a bit.  He laughed as he watched her try to teach the dance to Justin, Beth, and Gene. Suddenly, Portia was next to him, giving him a look that he figured had something to do with Cat bothering her about the app earlier.

“Oh, hey, sorry about Cat.  I know she can be a lot but she really wants her business to take off.  Have you seen her?”

“No, I think I saw her duck out during Katie’s speech.  I think she was a little pissed that I told her I couldn’t tweet about her app, but it was boring!” Portia said, and Greg shrugged.  “You don’t seem all that upset that she left.”

He shrugged again, “Yeah, we’ve been drifting apart, and I’m pretty sure she only came to this party to try to get on your good side.  I think I’m going to break up with her,” he said, unconsciously turning back to watch Katie’s impromptu dance class.  Portia smirked, realizing what was really going on.

“Well, when one relationship ends, a new one always begins somewhere else,” she said, cryptically.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked, turning back towards her.

“Oh, you didn’t hear? Katie got asked out by this hot big shot over at The New York Times tonight.”

Greg looked like all the air had been knocked out of him, and Portia knew she had guessed correctly.

“Don’t worry,” Portia said, patting him on the shoulder “you two will get there someday. Well, unless it works out with her and New York Times guy.  Bye!” She started to walk away and Greg quickly tried to cover it up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he yelled, but she was gone.

Greg sighed.  He wasn’t happy that Portia had quickly figured out that he maybe, just might, have feelings for Katie Wendelson.  He also wasn’t happy that apparently some fancy journalist had already asked her out before he’d even had a chance to finally break things off with Cat.  He frowned, wishing he hadn’t taken so long to figure things out.

But then he noticed that Katie was calling him over to dance with them, and he just had to hope that Portia’s prediction would come true someday.

[lassluna]

Freeing the Witch (6/20)

Thankfully beta read by @notoriouscs 

Once Upon a Time, there was Emma Swan the Savior and Killian Jones the fearsome pirate Captain Hook. But this is not that time, this is not that place, this is the time of the Dark Swan and a cowardly Deckhand who dares to think he could save her and live to tell the tale…Especially when things get complicated.

ffn Ao3

Chapter 6

Swords and Secrets

Emma knew it would be entertaining to teach the meek sailor to fight. He was awkward enough with his words and actions. So she had expected his clumsy footwork and inefficient movements, but she hadn’t counted on him flinching and blushing every few motions.

“Swan, are you sure I need to learn this? You and the Ice Queen seem to be very powerful yourselves. You don’t need me,” he tried to reason for the third time since they began sparring. It’s starting to sound more like a whine than a logical argument.

“Arendelle is a pirate’s haven. As long as they agree to do the occasional errand for the king, and they don’t steal from the palace itself, they are allowed to do as they want,” Elsa explains dryly, her eyes glued to her nails and an icicle nail file. “But those who are magical are hunted and imprisoned. We need someone who doesn’t have magic to help us fool the guards once we get to the prison.”

Emma lunges, and Killian deflects the blow with a flick of his wrist, using the movement they were currently practicing. She strikes again, aiming lower.

Killian deflects it again, rather clumsily this time. She breaks past his defenses and pokes him in the chest with her sword, sending him tumbling to the ground. She holds the blade against his neck.

“Dead,” She states plainly. “Again.”

“We’re doomed,” Elsa moans. “He’s hopeless.”

Emma shoots her a look, silencing her. While Emma didn’t think Killian would be good, she had no way to know he’d be this bad at even the simplest of moves. He’s smart, so she expected him to be a quicker learner. Something in Emma’s gut doesn’t feel right. She has the same prickling sensation she feels when someone tells a lie. She puts down her weapon and studies him for a moment.

“My apologies, lass. I’m just not a formidable foe,” he murmurs, getting to his feet slowly. “Perhaps finding another assistant in a nearby port for this part of the mission will be more useful?”

Elsa perks up, looking at Emma hopefully. “Please? Come on, you can keep this guy on the boat, and we’ll get someone who actually knows what he’s doing.”

Emma shoots her another look. “I’m not trusting a stranger with my life,” she snaps angrily. “At least with Jones here, I know he’s honest. He just needs some more practice, and for you to stop with the negativity.”

Emma hadn’t been paying attention to his feet during their sparring, more concerned with how he moved his blade. This time, as she lifts her weapon, she watches his feet slide into a perfect stance almost naturally. Emma hasn’t shown him how to stand.

Elsa rolls her eyes and gives an exaggerated royal wave. “Then I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up when you realize that the sailor is useless.” And then she is gone.

They both let out a sigh of relief.

Emma has never gotten along well with Elsa, and her presence on the ship is only making Emma’s mood worse. Plus, Emma wants to speak to the sailor without the Ice Queen’s frosty commentary getting in the way.

“I thought she’d never leave,” Emma snickers, putting her sword aside. She moves closer to Killian so she is just behind him. She feels him tense as she places her hand over his where he grips the sword.

His breathing hitches as she moves with him, demonstrating proper technique. Up, down, to the right, left, a twirl of the wrist. “You’re too bad at this for it to be natural,” Emma says.

Killian flinches.

“Because it’s not natural! You’re faking!” she accuses, pulling back.

He scratches nervously behind his ear, making Emma grin. She knew it!

“Why don’t you want to fight? Do you have some loyalty to Arendelle that I’m not aware of?” Emma questioned. “If you know how to fight, then why did you literally cut open your hand when you helped me with the guard?” Nothing's making sense right now, at least when it comes to the sailor. “I’d assume sword fighting is a necessary skill on a ship.”

Killian doesn’t respond, so Emma decides to give him a lesson in self-preservation. She draws her sword and strikes with full force. Killian, eyes wide, raises his blade to block the attack. He can tell she’s done sparring. That attack was aimed to kill…or at least to maim. Emma could always heal any injuries that are too bad…maybe.

“Bloody hell, Swan! What are you trying to do? “

Emma doesn’t respond, swinging her sword in another offensive maneuver. He is able to block this one too. She attacks over and over, noting his increasingly proficient parries.

“Don’t lie to me, Killian. Lying makes me very, very angry,” she says, lashing out.

“Because I don’t want to hurt anyone!” he shouts back, expertly performing the move she had been “teaching” him. “I don’t want to know how to fight! I don’t want any part of this!”

“Why?” she demands. “Did you lose one bad fight? Are you too cowardly to pick up the blade again? Or did you accidentally kill someone?”

Something flickers in his eyes, she just isn’t sure what.

“I think someone died the last time you held a weapon. Someone you loved,” she taunts. Emma can see she’s making him angry. Good! Anger is one of the most driving emotions. Anger sparks her most powerful magic.

“Were you too weak to protect someone? Or were you the killer? I prefer the latter. It would be so annoying if you got squeamish at the sight of blood.”

He slashes out at her, moving offensively for the first time since their lesson began. It’s a hasty and clumsy attempt, but it’s the most progress she’s seen so far.

“Good! Tuck in your leg a bit, stay balanced,” she encourages. “Now spill.”

Killian takes a moment to recover his footing. “Why should I tell you my painful past when you haven’t shared much of your own?” he counters darkly.

“Oh? Aren’t you quick to make deals with the Dark One?” she purrs. “Alright. Question for question. But we spar as we talk. You need the practice.” He makes another aggressive movement, trying to strike her in the shoulder. She takes that as a sign of agreement.

“When was the last time you used a blade?” she asks, making him smirk.

“Used or held?” he replies with a snap, coming in close to her. “Because if it were up to me, I’d do neither.”

She shivers as she sees the utter certainty in his words. “Used,” she clarifies, driving him back. “And knowing how to use a weapon isn’t dark, nor evil.” There are definitely some skills Emma has acquired over the years that can be classified as such. Sword fighting isn’t one of them.

“I tried to defend someone. Ended up making everything worse. It cost me dearly,” he says sadly.

“And you blame the art of fighting for that?” Emma asks.  

“I seem to recall it being my turn. Who taught you?” he asks in lieu of an answer.

Emma smiles warmly, recalling one of the few childhood memories that she cherishes.

“My father. Before he became his ruthless current self, he thought it would be wise to teach me how to ward off all my suitors,” she laughs.  “I think I still have the wooden sword he made for me when I was about ten.” Or at least she used to. Emma winders if her mother kept her things or lit the whole room ablaze when she left.

Oh, how right he had been. Her mother tried to pressure a young Emma into an engagement that suited the Queen’s fancy, and by that point, her father had lost all interest in protecting his little girl. Emma recalls using that same wooden sword to knock a wizard over the head when he tried to get too familiar with a sixteen-year-old sorceress. When she told her father, he simply shrugged.

“Now, why blame the skill for your tragedy? I’m sure there are people more deserving of the blame,” she snorts.

“I do blame others for it. I blame my brother for leaving me, and I blame that bloody island for disappearing from existence,” he growls. “I blame Liam for teaching me that I was strong, that I was invincible. I lost someone I loved because of him. I blame myself for ever daring to pick up a weapon.” He lowers his blade in defeat.

Not the reaction Emma was going for.

“This was a mistake, Swan,” he mutters, unable to stop the trembling of his arm from shaking his sword. “I’m bad luck. I ruin everything I touch. You may think me a coward, but I’ve seen enough pain and misery started by me to know it’s true. Isn’t it better for me to be the only one who suffers? Why drag everyone around me down too?”

It is a question designed for her, a question from one toxic individual to another, a question only people like her can even comprehend.

Emma doesn’t know what drives her in that moment, what brings her to put down her weapon and grip his arm with her own. Perhaps it’s the sudden outburst of pain that tugs on the cracks in her own soul. Perhaps it’s because she is surprised to hear that anyone could truly understand her.

“Killian,” she says softly. “You’re wrong. You came to my tower to rescue me. You saved my life. I’m not one for thank yous, but I’ll give you one now.” She closes the distance between them. “So thank you. You were brave. You saved me not once, but twice.”

He doesn’t react, and she keeps talking. “As for why bothering to try? You can’t let the world just beat you down like this! You can’t let them win!”

He looks up, confused. “Them?”

“The people who insist that we are nothing, that we are better locked up and thrown away. Because you and I, Killian…we’re a lot alike,” she admits. “You may call it toxic, but I…I call it being resilient, taking what the world’s given us and having to fight to get by.” She looks up, picturing a dark-haired man who once said similar words to her. “Not a lot of people can handle us, you know? They have to find some way to understand, so they blame. Don’t give in, ok? Don’t give up the fight just to make them happy.”

Killian still looks unsure, his eyes clouded by doubt. But Emma sees something else as well, something she saw before when he was at the helm, navigating by the sky, adjusting the sails, feeling the wind. Emma sees fire in his eyes.  

“Am I right to assume that your brother taught you to use a weapon?”

He nods.

“Well either he didn’t finish, or you’re rusty, Sailor. Your form is clumsy, and you have the balance of a sponge.”

He grimaces, but looks amused by her word choice.

“I think you owe it to both him and yourself to never find yourself in need of saving. If you’re always the one doing the saving, you will be a true survivor,” she continues. “If you’re going to survive on a pirate ship with a couple of sorceresses, then you’re going to need to man up and let a little of the pirate in you out to play, kay?”

He thinks for a moment, then nods, lifting his sword as a wild grin appears on his face. “Aye. What next, Swan?”

And then she lunges.

They spar for hours, and Emma has to admit, once he set his mind to the task, he made remarkable progress. She will turn him into a swordsman yet!  

He wants to keep going, but Emma knows he’s reached his limit when he slips on a board and falls on his face, nearly knocking himself out cold. He tries to insist that he’s fine, but Emma isn’t having it.

“I am not going to go to all this hard work just to have you exhausted when we get to the real battle!” She is lucky that her magic keeps her body from tiring the same way a regular mortal’s would.

“That is good thinking, Emms,” Elsa purrs, as Emma closes the door to the Captain’s room. She figured it was the most appropriate.

Emma shoots the Ice Queen a questioning look. Making a quick decision not to risk trusting her, Emma flicks her wrist, enchanting the lock on his door. Just to be safe. The last thing Emma needs right now a mutiny.

“Smart to pretend you actually care about his pain.” Elsa puts her arm around Emma’s shoulders. “You even had me going for a bit, what with the stuff about your dear old dad and about honoring his sainted older brother,” she laughs coldly.

Emma shrugs off Elsa’s touch with a glare, daring her to try to touch her again. They aren’t friends, nor the sisters they once considered themselves. “I’d have believed you if you had bothered to tell the sailor that he is probably going to die.” Elsa reminds her. “Once they realize we’re gone, they’re going to hang him, or maybe behead him. I haven’t beheaded anyone in a while...” She says trailing off.

“Elsa. Shut up.” She snaps. She doesn’t want to think about that.

“If you truly cared, you would have told him he’s just another pawn in your game, a pawn to be sacked at the next possible moment.”

Emma growls at the frosty royal, warning her away. When she doesn’t get the message, Emma turns her back on her and leaves, but she can’t leave behind the echoes of Elsa’s laughter.

She isn’t upset because Elsa called her out on her plans.

No, Emma would much prefer that to the truth. Because in truth, she hadn’t meant to tell him about her treasured wooden sword. She hadn’t planned on wanting to help him move on from the loss of his brother. She didn’t want to face the fact that she would get this man killed.

Her own brother had died just moments after birth, when their mother realized he was a boy, and boys don’t have magic, and her mother had –

Emma cuts off the memory.

He would be three now.

No. She doesn’t want to hear the truth.

She’s happier pretending that the Dark Swan has no heart for the sailor to touch, no heart for the sailor to win.

[acahyeri-blog]

→ introductions ! ☆

➣  [ ‘ wipes off sweat after following the masterlist ] woo! that was a workout! with that out of the way, it’s time to finally give my proper greetings to the great muns behind the wonderful muses of academykrp!! this is kitty, and this is my first time venturing out of mf/panfandom rp, and i think my friends made the right decision to drag me here to get started (=´∇｀=) i’m not too good with intros like these, but please do like this post so i could slide in your ims (or slide into mine). 

to get us started, click here and here for hyeri’s profile and essay! i also put a tl;dr, some little plots, and wanted relationships under the cut! please do check it out! ฅ(＾・ω・＾ฅ)

[ TL;DR ] 

hyeri is a 95-line junior taking a double major in political science and public administration, all in the name of taking over the world in the near future! she’s very serious about this, and has a twenty-step life-plan to help her achieve it (and with her skills, maybe she really can!)

she’s the daughter of two cosmetic industry giants--her mother owns riverlilee--a world-famous make-up and skin care line (which she models for, sometimes!) while her father is an internationally acclaimed cosmetic surgeon, whose consultation rates go above six figure won prices.

her IQ is over two hundred, and is a member of mensa

even with this, her father doesn’t believe she could be a rightful heir to their industry (spoiler: he’s sexist) and sends her to marriage meetings almost every other week, much to her chagrin.

she topped the CSAT with a near perfect score. she made a speech during the university’s opening ceremony and implied that everybody was inferior to her (”you can work hard and study hard--a great thing!--but you will never be up to my level. but that’s okay! i promise to be a benevolent leader once i’m elected into office. you’ll be in good hands with a genius like me!) you can already guess how the people reacted.

she was offered slots in harvard, along many other known ivy league universities, but declined in favor of bidulgi (she has her reasons!)

she’s jeonghan’s beard fake girlfriend, and have been dating for a total of six years (and counting). she has also known mingyu, chungha ever since middle school, and is cousins with lee jihoon. 

she lives in a three-bedroom, loft-style hotel suite with seola

personality wise, she appears ditzy and self-absored (and she is), but it all changes once she starts talking about the constitution, debating theoretical concepts, or solving high-level mathematical problems in record time. think legally blonde, except she’s a brunette!

hyeri genuinely thinks she’s better than everybody else (there is some truth to that) and has a hard time making friends because of her condescending personality. still, she’s a good kid deep down; her superior intellect just left a few holes in her emotional and social development. 

despite this, she’s still a bad drunk, and becomes touchy, giggly, and prone to stripping to her designer lingerie once intoxicated.=

in summary, hyeri is an over-the-top, larger-than-life, bunny-ears supergenius with genuine plans for world domination, and is gearing up to be the most extra world overlord to ever walk this earth.

[ WANTED RELATIONSHIPS ] 

freshmen who she pays to do mundane errands, like sprinkling flower petals in her path or blowing wind into her hair as she walks to class. these freshmen are either infatuated with her, or just want some extra cash. it’s open to all courses and all genders!

every queen needs a secretary, and hyeri is no exception. this one is a lowerclassman who helps our future world overlord with her hectic schedule, and makes sure she has a cup of her favorite sweet potato latte (soymilk, please) every morning. preferably female, please!

there are very few people who can match her intellect, so when hyeri meets a muse who can keep up with her rapid fire brain, she couldn’t help but feel a little threatened. and now, hands on her waist and high-heeled feet apart, she has publicly declared your muse as her lifelong rival. both an honor and a burden, really. open to all courses and genders!

a benevolent future overlord like hyeri also makes it a point to assist underclassmen and steer them to the right path, so she picks a hoobae from her course to groom. this means access to her well-written notes, free study tips, and even shopping sessions (or drinking!) when she feels like it. political science majors only, all genders!

kids are cruel, and hyeri has been betrayed by a supposed bestfriend when she was five years old, hence her distrust for “plebes”. but lo, their paths cross once more in bidulgi. will it lead to much needed forgiveness, or will you have her heel stuck in your thigh? open to all majors, preferably a junior, and required to be a female. 

everyone wants the benefit of being friends with a rich kid like hyeri, who spends money on her close friends like it was nothing. but do you really like her? or are you just there to get a taste of her fame? 

you’ve known she’s haughty, you’ve known she’s not available (but really, you don’t believe it’s true love), and you’ve known she has the tendency to step on plebes like she was made for it. still, that doesn’t stop you from falling head over heels in infatuation with the future queen, and you’re doing everything to get her to look your way. but really, all it gives hyeri is some slight annoyance and a lot of amusement. are you up for the challenge of a persistent suitor? any major, preferably male. 

[ POSSIBLE PLOTS ] 

you’re sleepy af from pulling an all nighter and was walking aimlessly along the university roads when a speeding car almost ran you over. you almost wanted to ask the driver to try again, but hyeri looks beyond worried when she parks to check if you’re okay. “world overlords can’t have criminal records, so you have to come to the clinic with me”

you know bidulgi is filled with celebrities and high-ranking people, but you still weren’t expecting to see riverlilee’s spokesmodel lee hyeri in the same bathroom as you. what would you do?

as a part of a well-known family, you’ve been invited to a marriage meeting for the lee heiress. what you didn’t expect is that the beautiful girl in your talks with your parents is the condescending genius from university. would you stay to watch how this would go, and maybe lead to discover that the ditzy queen has more depth than she puts out? 

you were quietly walking along the streets of seoul when you spot hyeri hiding behind a standee and she gets the scare of her life when you ask what she’s doing. apparently, her dad set her up to another marriage meeting and the man turned out to smell worse than an onion patch. she then gets an idea to get you help her out of the sticky situation and you’re now swept on a day-long adventure in seoul, hiding from her many bodyguards until the clock strikes twelve (or maybe, beyond?)

get the resident genius as a tutor! 

one of her hobbies is destroying other budding lawyers in mock-court, and you’re picked to be a member of her team for this week’s round.

hyeri is a bad drunk, and is always in a tight situation if she’s not flanked by jeonghan or mingyu. there’s a lot of ways this night could go. 

all of these plots could be picked more than once, and i am absolutely up for brainstorming if nothing here fits!! i hope to have a lot of fun here with my dear extra baby! please take care of me and this baby queen!

xoxo

kitty

[authorelizabethhunter]

So, I’ve been pretty awful about updating the blog lately, and I apologize for that. Personal life has been a bit crazy (but good!) and I get overwhelmed, so I’ll try to give you a roundup of stuff I’m reading, stuff I’m listening to, stuff I’m writing, and stuff I’ll be working on next.

SPOILER ALERT: I re-released A Very Proper Monster, the Elemental World novella set in 19th century Dublin with Tom and Josie from A Scarlet Deep. It has a new cover and a brand new short story included, so if you’re just here for new stuff, scroll on down to the end for links, but I really hope you read the whole post. :)

In general, if you’re worried you’re missing something, the best way to stay in touch is to either get my newsletter (sent out once a month with free fiction goodies), like my Facebook page, or follow me on Instagram. I’m going to try to be better about blogging, but I make no guarantees because I’m an honest girl who knows her limitations. Between family, work, traveling to the other side of the world to visit my significant other, and eating/sleeping, the blog does fall further down on the list of priorities lately. So, you’ve been warned. (And appreciated. I really do appreciate those of you who are still reading.)

SO what have I been reading? A few things. I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump, but these are things pulled me out and woke me up.

First off, for lovers of true Urban Fantasy, I’m going to recommend Amy Cissell’s The Cardinal Gate, which was a kickass ride set in Portland, OR that delves into fae mythology. Full disclosure: Amy and I are friends, and I think she’s super talented, and this book is great. Funny and fast and thrilling. It’s her debut, and I think readers of mine who love Ilona Andrews, Patricia Briggs, and the like would really enjoy it. Lots of action and humor. I really well-drawn heroine who I’m eager to revisit. This is the start of a series and I’m definitely looking forward to the rest.

Dating-ish by Penny Reid is contemporary romantic comedy that is hilarious and HUGELY relatable for anyone who has dated in the last few years, and informative for those of you who are still trying to figure out what Tinder is and why your single friends give you THAT LOOK when you ask them, “Haven’t you tried dating online?” More than that, it’s another well-drawn female protagonist in the Knitting in the City series which will go down as one of the most compelling and well-drawn (and hilarious) groups of friends in fiction history. I know the covers are geared toward female readers, but I think this series would be really enjoyable for my male readers, too.

Short story fans like me understand how complex and difficult the form is to write, but how satisfying a well-written short story is when it’s done right. And Ken Liu does it RIGHT. The Paper Menagerie is on my Recommended Reads page for good reason. I’m picking my way through this collection the way you pick through a really good box of chocolates. You don’t want to devour them all at once. You want to sit and read when you have a half hour or so, finish a story, then ruminate on it a while. If you’re a fantasy/scifi fan struggling with short attention span lately, this book is the book for you.

So that’s what I’ve been reading lately, but what have I been listening to?

Okay, sometimes you just need mellow singer/songwriter chicks to listen to, and Joy Williams Venus (Acoustic) album is well worth the download. I’m not very familiar with her music, but I saw this video on YouTube:

And I sought out her music. I love her voice and the Venus Acoustic album is a deep, easy breath at the end of the day, which I need right now.

Can we talk about how my son keeps stealing my Duke Ellington & John Coltrane album? Seriously, some days I really do feel like I’m raising a senior citizen. He wears fedoras, too. I’m recommending this album on vinyl for those of you who like the ritual of records, but it’s available in digital format too. It’s hard to express how much I love this one. I’m not even a huge jazz fan, but there’s something about this record.

I just finished listening to all seven episodes of the S-Town podcast and I’m still processing. All I know for sure is that it’s good. It elevates the podcast format. It’s genre-defying. I don’t want to tell you too much, because I went into it with very little knowledge of what it was supposed to be, and I kind of feel like everyone should experience it that way. Here’s the trailer:

So that’s what I’m listening to lately. What have I been doing?

Oh, just re-releasing A Very Proper Monster with a new Tom and Josie story (!!!), and updating the covers for the Elemental World novellas!

And… they’re weird. But I love them. This is what I wrote on my Facebook page:

It’s a different look that started when I was designing the Monster cover for re-release. It’s a gothic romance, so I wanted the cover to reference those gorgeous old gold foil covers in Victorian printing. What I came up with was this:

➜Amazon (Kindle): http://amzn.to/2nxvyP5 ➜Amazon (Paperback): http://amzn.to/2ol6NFL ➜Smashwords: http://bit.ly/2niCpdo

(I’ll update with other retailer links once they go live)

This is the part where I say BUY MY BOOK!

(If you don’t already have it from Beneath a Waning Moon, that is. It’s the same story, just with bonus material and a new cover.)

So I designed this cover, and I just couldn’t stop looking at it. I loved it. But it was SO different. And I knew I’d been needing to update the covers on Waterlocked and The Bronze Blade, too, because they really didn’t fit with the other books in the series. In fact, the novellas themselves were kind of out there. So I’m taking a chance! They could bomb horribly. I don’t know. But I’m giving them a chance and I hope you guys enjoy them.

Here’s the synopsis for the new edition of Monster:

In Victorian-era Dublin, Josephine Shaw spends long nights filling the pages of her Gothic stories with the fantastic and the macabre, unaware that the suitor her father has arranged is one of the dark creatures she’s always dreamed. For Tom Dargin, courting an ailing spinster was only one duty in a long life of service to his sire. But after he meets the curious Miss Shaw, will Tom become the seducer or the seduced? Can a love fated to end in tragedy survive a looming grave?

A VERY PROPER MONSTER is an Elemental World historical novella originally published in the Beneath a Waning Moon gothic duology. This special stand-alone edition contains a bonus short story, Night in the Waking City.

Tom and Josie travel to New York City to meet with allies and publishers, but a chance encounter sends Josie into a rage, leaving Tom to look for unexpected allies in the city that never sleeps. Can a young human and an ancient vampire find his ailing mate before Josie does something she’ll regret?

And what am I working on RIGHT NOW?

As you may or may not be able to tell, I’m working on the next Irin Chronicles book. What is it called? THE SILENT. Whose book is it? Leo and Kyra’s. (FINALLY! you say. I know, I know…) And where is it set? THAILAND.

Thailand?

Yes, Thailand. (It’s so delicious…)

And here, my friends, is a little teaser for you from what I just wrote the other day. I’m about a third of the way into the manuscript and I’m aiming toward a Summer 2017 release, hopefully in July.

“Do you like books?” Kyra asked.

“I do. I like audiobooks especially. When I’m training or driving, I often listen to them.” He craned his neck and saw the stack of books by her bed. “I see you are a reader.”

“Yes.” He hadn’t asked, but she decided to offer some information anyway. “For most of my life—before I learned to block my mind—books were my best friends. I could listen to them and only hear what they wanted to tell me, not another voice behind it.”

Leo’s arm around her tightened, and she wondered if there was something he didn’t like about the story. Perhaps she shouldn’t have offered so much information when he hadn’t asked.

“Yes, I like books,” she said quietly.

“I’m glad you had them,” Leo said. “Tell me something else.”

“Like what?”

“Like everything.” ~ Copyright 2017, Elizabeth Hunter All rights reserved.

  BE WELL! I’ll try not to wait two months before blogging again.

Wishing you love and inspiration today.

Elizabeth

Still not dead. Work work work. So, I've been pretty awful about updating the blog lately, and I apologize for that. Personal life has been a bit crazy (but good!) and I get overwhelmed, so I'll try to give you a roundup of stuff I'm reading, stuff I'm listening to, stuff I'm writing, and stuff I'll be working on next.

[rebekahsremarkable]

Molly

When I was in elementary school, there was a girl named Molly in which for several years, I had her in several of my classes. Molly was very different than the rest of the girls at school. She didn’t care much about anything except her happiness. I think, deep down, I admired that about her.

Even as a young adolescent, I had yearned to be accepted by my peers. When the popular girl in school, Kelly, started tying her shirts in the back- I quickly followed suit. When she started wearing army pants and flip-flops, I started wearing army pants and flip-flops. When the popular clique in school started playing volleyball- I begged by Dad to pay for lessons.

But Molly wasn’t like that. Molly was weird. She did weird things, like eat lunch by herself and talk about grown-up things like boys and what penises were. “What is a penis?” I remember thinking. “It sounds like a toy. And why do only boys have them? That doesn’t seem fair.”

One day, on the playground, I remember the girls and I watching Molly practicing for the school’s talent show. She twirled around for everyone to see. There was no music, and every mis-step she took, onlookers could witness.

The HBIC of Turner Elementary, Kelly, stood up and walked over to Molly’s designated dancing area. As the girls and I approached behind Kelly, Molly stopped dancing.

“Hi, guys!” She smiled, and opened her big blue eyes wide, as if we were there to accompany her in her dance routine.

“Hi, Molly.” Kelly said, with a blank tone. “Did you know that me and some of the girls were dancing in the talent show, too?” She asked, almost sarcastically.

“Yeah! I saw in rehearsal the other day! You guys are so good.” She smiled, waiting for a returned compliment of approval.

“Listen,” Kelly said, sternly. “I’m saying this, because I’m your friend. And no one else has the guts to tell you...” The girls nodded in sync. I looked at each of them- wondering what was happening. I was confused. Kelly said she was saying something as a friend, but somehow it still felt threatening. Is that a thing all girls can do- or is that some super power only Kelly could acquire?

“You look like an idiot. And I know that sounds mean. But how do you think you will look? Especially after the girls and I dance? People seeing... Whatever you call that. I just don’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“Yeah, she’s right.” The girls said, almost collectively. They all giggled.

I watched as I could almost visually see Molly’s pride disappear from her face. Her big, blue eyes lost their happily independent twinkle. Her grin dissipated. I could see her free-spirited heart break.

“I’m glad we had this talk.” Kelly said.

The girls and Kelly walked away in their herd, and I stayed back for a second. I saw Molly quietly cry for a moment, and then huff in the rest of her feelings. I went to walk away- but stopped myself for just a moment as we shared a glance.

“I...” I stumbled to say. I looked down at the ground, ashamed.

“Go ahead.” she quietly whispered.

And go I did... I followed the herd inside the school as the end-of-recess bell rung.

I sat back at my desk, and wondered what had just transpired. I didn’t participate in mocking Molly, but I still felt shitty. I didn’t laugh at Kelly’s remark like the other girls, but I still felt just as guilty.

But I did watch. Yes, that’s exactly what I did. I watched as the girls made a innocent, confident girl- into a jaded, self conscious child. But I didn’t participate. I didn’t say anything...and as Mrs. T handed out the spelling list for the week, I came to a fourth-grade revelation:

Maybe watching is just as bad.

*******************************************************************

Making new friends to me is extremely important. For some reason, when other girls like me or say I’m funny, I get a high much similar to shooting meth in my arm (is meth shot up, or is it ingested? Will google later).

Sure, boys think I’m funny. But boys also want to sleep with me; and while some women may feel the same way, I feel a sense of validity when another girl likes me. It’s like- Woah! You’re not in competition with me? You’re not trying to tare me down? You LIKE me? I must be one hot potato.

So imagine my surprise when meeting Leanne’s brand-new, super hip and pretty Denver friends. There was three: Yasmine, a gorgeous, round-eyed makeup connoisseur; Margie, a coworker of Leanne’s, stone-faced and extremely fashionable; and Tabitha, a shy, alcohol-friendly introvert.

We sat in the extremely expensive, young-people friendly lobby of Leanne’s apartment complex waiting for the handsome men they acquired at the mall earlier that day to finish their game of pool.

As a bottle of expensive vodka got passed around the room, I noticed the girls were on the other side, and I was sitting against the wall. I had made an observation as the girls whispered and giggled to each other:

This is the first time I had been in the same room as Leanne and we  weren’t sitting next to each other. Or touching. Or laughing. Or hugging. In her niche, I watched her and her new found lady wolf pack bond from across the way. I wouldn’t say I felt jealous- but I definitely just wanted to become a part of it.

Feeling frisky, I took the pool stick and shot a ball into the corner pocket.

“Nice,” one of the handsome suitors said.

I slyly dabbed and the boys laughed.

For the rest of the night, I decided to be myself. I drank wine instead of vodka, made funny “That’s What She Said” quips and danced when a song I liked came on. I was un-apologetically myself, as Leanne always inspired me to be. In this instance, looking back, I was un-apologetically myself, by myself.

I had work in the morning, so I retired to Leanne’s bedroom alone, laying in her bed with the comfort of knowing I made three new friends. I hope they liked me. I wanted us to be Sex and the City, essentially. I imagined us all sitting around a table, at a fancy Sunday 10 am brunch, drinking mimosas and talking about penises. Who would be the Samantha? Who is Charlotte? No one is Miranda. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

My imaginative brain almost drifted to sleep when I heard Yasmine say my name.

“She’s nice, I guess. Some of her remarks seemed a little passive aggressive.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Margie said. “She just seems like, insecure.”

“She likes attention.” Tabitha replied. “Which is fine, I mean... every girl likes attention. She just tries too hard to be funny. And she gets really um...”

“-Passionate.” Leanne finally chimed in.

“Right. Passionate.” the other girls chuckled.

I tried my hardest not to keep listening. I begged for sleep to take me away. But I kept hearing each girl back-handedly give me ‘compliments’.

I kept waiting to hear Leanne’s voice... But it never came.

When they finally found a new topic, I found myself feeling a gaping hole in my chest. What did I do? What was passive-aggressive? It was like being present for your own Comedy Central Roast, but no one else knows your there and the jokes are really just your biggest insecurities.

But though it felt like I had just looked into a Magic Mirror similar to the one in Snow White (except instead of telling you you’re the fairest off them all, it tells you your shittiest qualities), I found myself noticing the main reason why I was hurting wasn’t because of the things the girls said. It was what Leanne didn’t say.

She didn’t say anything, so how could I be mad? She just watched. Then I thought about fourth grade, and I thought about Molly... No, Leanne didn’t say anything...

But maybe watching is just as bad.

**********************************************

I packed up my belongings the next morning and left as everyone slept. I made myself a quick pre-workout cocktail, and scurried out the door before anyone could see I was upset.

Before leaving the parking garage, I typed up a Facebook message to the girls apologizing for being ‘passive-aggressive’, and how I looked forward to getting to know them better. My exit must have awakened them, as the message went to ‘read’ quickly after I hit send. I never received a response.

On the forty minute drive home, I recalled my fourth grade talent show:

Kelly, (who told me, after careful deliberation, I could not be a part of their talent show dance), was instructing me when exactly to pull the curtain closed as the girls made their final pose in their choreography. It was too late for me to be the ‘talent’ in the talent show, so I volunteered to be a part of the stage crew.  

When it was finally the girls’ turn to perform in the show, they danced to a Will Smith party anthem that seemed, in hindsight, a little too edgy for a couple of eight year olds. I pulled the curtain precisely as instructed. The girls all peeked out the curtain and bowed to their raving applause, and were clearly fan favorites.

Ms. Marshall called out for the final act. “Has anyone seen Molly?”

I wondered if she’d show.

“Here! I’m here!” Molly said. She was dressed in all white, with a bright pink scarf tied to hip of her capris.

She smiled big as she walked passed the girls and said, “Wow. You ladies did a great job!” And ran to the center of the stage.

Ms. Marshall walked in front of the curtain and started speaking into the microphone. “And now, for our final act, we have Molly performing a dance she choreographed herself.” She awkwardly clapped herself off stage, and I pulled the curtain open accordingly.

There stood a posed Molly, her feet confidently planted on the ground, her hand on her hip. There was a moment of silence, and, almost suddenly, a tune called “Accidentally in Love” played.

I watched Molly dance, completely in awe. It was as if what had happened days earlier didn’t even phase her. She moved to a song that everyone in the room could visibly see she loved, you would thing she wrote the damn song.  She jived, she used jazz-hands, she did the monkey, and most of all- she smiled. She shined.

I felt myself notice the difference between Molly and I in that moment. This whole time, I had vied for acceptance from my peers- and I never got it.

Molly had never asked for acceptance, she never conformed, and there she was, the star of her own show.

Where was I? I was pulling the curtain. Where was Molly?

She was dancing to the rhythm of her own song.

***********************************************

Thanks for reading! I’ve been getting some responses in which people get mad at me for posting certain things on here... I kept my writing secret for a long time. I even stopped entirely after I was told I wasn’t good at it, or that it was me vying for attention. For awhile I got really depressed and honestly, the only thing that pulled me out of it was writing. It gives me a sense of purpose. It lets me bend reality in a way that makes sense to me. With that in mind, readers need to understand that though there are certain things in life my writing may be inspired by, the occurrences in the blog are entirely fictional. Are there certain things that may remind you of someone in my life, or of an occurrence you may of been a part of? Sure, but my writing is far from the truth. My writing tells a story. A story that I want to be relatable the many(okay, like 5) women who read it, and that requires me to make something that has a message and a plot.

So if you’re my friend reading this, thank you for supporting me and understanding this. If you’re someone who feels they have been mis-represented on here, well, you’re wrong. Because my writing has nothing to do with you. This is the one space where all it has to do with, is ME. It’s my world to manipulate. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.