charismaandcashmere

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Sade

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selkie's "en pointe sofia" dress from their degas ballerina-inspired collection .

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Paolo Sebastian “The Nutcracker”    

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Madison Brown for Selkie

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From March 13 to 14, 1913 Letters to Felice by Franz Kafka First published : 1973

[charismaandcashmere]

i think some people are drawn toward self improvement or even spirituality/manifesting because they think it’s going to be a way to skip the hard stuff, but that’s not how it works at all. asking for the life you truly want, especially when you’re nowhere near it, will be the beginning of an experience of life like no other. you need to do hard things, face challenges, at times feel bitter and angry and scared and sad and learn how to deal with it, go through it ALL to get the life you want. and if the life you want is just one that’s conveniently removed from half of the full human experience because you’re scared of it, you will always be disappointed. you were made to see, feel, experience it all, and the way you get what you want is by honouring that and becoming somebody who can handle it.

[charismaandcashmere]

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My body is my only true home. even then, I’m borrowing her from the Earth

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“We still talk in terms of “conquest” — whether it be of the insect world or of the mysterious world of space. We still have not become mature enough to see ourselves as a very tiny part of a vast and incredible universe, a universe that is distinguished above all else by a mysterious and wonderful unity that we flout at our peril.”

— Rachel Carson, “Of Man and the Stream of Time”

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dude i hate finishing a book like how am i supposed to say goodbye to the life we built together

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I think it was seeing how “the system” treated abused women in real time that broke any kind of prison abolition for abusive men for me.

A friend’s husband killed himself after trying to kill her, he had 22 guns stashed in the home and piles of bullets, and she was trapped because divorce laws in our state require that moms stay with husbands for at least 6 months after filing divorce to give them time to “reconcile” and judges “don’t like to hear he said/she said abuse stories.”

If you have that many guns in your home unlocked around kids, you immediately get carted to prison for 20 years and mom gets your social security payments while she’s locked up as if you were a dead parent.

Lock these men up, I’m sorry.

[charismaandcashmere]

both a thinker and a feeler, what a gift

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War and Peace (1956) - Audrey Hepburn as Natasha Rostova wearing a silk gauze dress in ivory, trimmed with silver embroidery and small blue velvet appliqué horses.

The costume designer was Maria De Matteis, but Audrey’s costumes were designed by Fernanda Gattinoni.

Photo by Rocco Talucci.

This outfit is currently displayed at Palazzo Braschi, Rome, as part of the exhibition I vestiti dei sogni, dedicated to the excellence of Italian costumes in cinema.

[charismaandcashmere]

Audrey Hepburn (and her fawn Pippin) on the set of the 1959 MGM production Green Mansions, Hollywood, 1958.

[charismaandcashmere]

I really hate when people mystify intelligence as some innate or supernatural ability rather than the willingness to read books and consider different perspectives. Anyone with enough time, training, and preparation could become a professor. Stop seeing knowledge as arcane rather than as a skill anyone can develop.

[charismaandcashmere]

No One Likes the Perfect Girl in High Society 

Tumblr, Pinterest, hypergamy accounts etc etc will push you to become your better self in order to frequent the high society circles. 

The reality is that this girl is not well liked among the higher classes… Because she comes across as intimidating. 

Sex, drugs, alcohol, infidelity is rampant in the upper echelons of society. They’re all dealing with a cheating spouse or horrible children or business issues or some family dispute or the other. Majority of these women are Serena from gossip girl to a T. 

“Oh but they run the businesses!” Very few actually do. 

“Oh but they donate!” Yes and it’s for PR. 

“Oh but they’re invited to all these high profile events!” Because of their family. 

So the only respite these women/ men get, comes in the form of entertainment. 

Entertainment is another way to claim your spot in society, by showing off how lavishly you can design and decorate and host. I know a certain billionaire family that literally pays people to come to their seasonal parties…. Naturally, there is a lot of discreet murmur. The same billionaire family had strippers for their son’s coming of age party. 

What happens when you decide to go against the norm and stand out? I’ll write very objectively on this. 

My mother is one such case - the “perfect” wife. She leaves parties early, doesn’t drink nor smoke, works out 24/7 and looks 30, is the perfect daughter in law (to a point where my grandfather’s friends openly express their jealousy), is very social, has her own standing in society, has her own projects and business that she’s deeply involved in. So to majority of these other women, she’s too intimidating to be friends with - because the ideal has been set so high. They prefer to vacation, party, spend their time shopping - to each their own. But it doesn’t exactly give them a sense of identity because their entire persona revolves around money. 

Is it truly bad to have your persona revolve around money?

I wouldn’t say it’s bad but I’ll say it’s lacking. It comes across as intellectually flawed. And as a woman, everyone’s going to assume you’re stupid as balls, even before you open your mouth to speak. However, being stupid doesn’t affect you too much, as long as you’re married to the man who has cemented his position - no one really expects the wife to be smart. Any effort put above maintaining yourself and your kids, such as reading or philanthropy, is seen as a bonus. 

So naturally one would assume - wouldn’t the rest therefore gravitate to someone like my mother? Shouldn’t everyone be tripping their feet trying to be friends with her? 

Ideally speaking yes. Realistically that does not happen. 

These people want to be friends with people who are somewhat equally screwed up. So you have to decide where that line is for yourself. Do you want to mingle or do you want to stand out? Each position has its own pros and cons, so it depends on your personality, capacity, discipline and where you want to be. So when you’re trying to break into these circles, bear in mind that being too put together might just alienate you completely. But it’s your choice to conform or stand out.