#you know the brainrot is bad when it haunts your dreams

[bootlegspiders]

Had a dream about Copia, woke up at 3AM, and continued to try going back to sleep for a half hour to try to get back to the dream

[aster-oid]

To the stranger I knew too well

Summary: When your recurrent dreams about a puppet become out of hand, a reality check feels like the only way to get back to normalcy. Fate proves you wrong.

Pairing: Wanderer & gn!reader (post Irminsul), the relationship is heavily implied to be platonic

Content warnings: Reader is gender neutral, mentions of blood and murders but I don't go into details, slight angst, Wanderer is bad with feelings, platonic content

Word count: 7.2k | Soulmate AU

Comments: A special thank to my beta @ladyfocalors for always brainrotting with me about Genshin characters. We'll platonify the Genshin soulmate AU one work at the time /lh

It took you years to understand that your frequent lucid dreams about an Inazuman electricity-wielder leader were actually the memories of your soulmate.

To your parents' defense, every normal individual would have dismissed the idea. While your soulmate wearing an extravagant hat wasn’t impossible, your tales about a place shrouded in darkness and an Electro-user without a Vision sounded like a child's fantasy. There was no such thing in Teyvat.

You quickly got the reputation of an imaginative kid. Adults liked to ask you about your dreams.

"What a smart child you are!", they cooed once you finished recalling your visions. "You could write a storybook!"

Your younger self would shoot them the dirtiest glare they could muster. Unfortunately, adding that the protagonist was a puppet made hundreds of years ago was not the convincing argument you thought it was. To the layperson, your visions were nonsensical dreams.

But you knew what you saw. It felt real. Terribly, shockingly real. Most often that not, you woke up from these flashes with the taste of iron in your mouth, static filling your sight, your muscles locked into place. You were trapped in your own unresponsive body. Even your breath was stuck in your throat. But the worst part of your awakenings was the sticky feeling on your hands. No matter how many times you scrubbed, it lingered on your skin. You didn't know what it was at that time, just that it made you feel gross and that it would sometimes reappear if you washed your hands hard enough.

You learnt what blood was before you knew how to spell the color red. 

When one is repeatedly told that they're wrong, they will come to believe it. You were no exception. As the years passed by, you pushed those fantasies in the back of your mind. The adults in your life must have been right. You were just a strange kid with gruesome dreams, that was all.

Despite knowing that they were figments of your vivid imagination, the sights of snow-covered plains and bloody massacres haunted you well into adulthood. They had grown more complex. Details you didn’t notice as a child seemed obvious now that you had more experience. You could also recall conversations better. That’s how you learnt the name of the body you inhabited. Well, it was more correct to say you learnt multiple names for them. Kabukimono, Kunikuzushi, Scaramouche, the Balladeer... It was like you could never make up your mind.

The puppet you temporarily inhabited was as elusive as the wind: no fixed name to call them and no face to match. They fled mirrors when they saw one, preventing you from seeing their appearance. The only thing you knew about them was their title: number Sixth of the Fatui Harbinger. A seat that was left vacant for centuries according to every Fatuus you asked.

Your constant daydreaming was annoying but manageable until you started having visions about Kunikuzushi taking over Sumeru. You saw them getting experimented on to become one with a robot, wincing in pain at the hands of a masked doctor, rambling about their birth-given right to access godhood, taunting a blonde traveler; a chain of events that could only make sense in a dream. The problem was that your reverie was affecting your daily life. You couldn’t go through a day without getting assailed by memories that weren’t yours. You had to stop halfway through any task, discussing became hard and sleep rarely came to you.

There was little you could do as you didn’t know what had worsened your visions. You were hoping it would go away by itself.

That was until a particularly haunting dream. As usual, you were but a spectator seeing through the Balladeer’s eyes. You saw a hand -their hand- reach for a chess piece, leaning forward as much as they could. Your blood went cold. They were about to fall over the edge of the platform! Your gaze darted everywhere. There was nothing on the distant ground that would break their fall. For the first time in your life, you realized that they could die. Scaramouche, the one you had observed for decades, could die.

You were the only one to realize how far they were leaning. They only had eyes for the violet pawn in front of them, begging and begging with a shaky voice. It had never sounded so frail, so raw with hurt and panic.

"Please, anything but the Gnosis!" 

It’s not worth it! you tried to scream. Stop! You didn't know why this Gnosis was so important to them but it was nothing dying for. Alas, no matter how hard you tried to move your mouth, the body refused to answer to you. You were nothing but a witness of a tragic scene, a powerless ghost with a bleeding heart. Your throat was thick with emotions you were not allowed to express.

Your dream ended in a snap, quite literally. A tearing sound erupted from behind you before you were sent falling down, pain flaring in your back. You bit down a scream as the world turned to blurry shades of blue and fluttering black bangs. The increasing speed made your eyes water and your body burn. You clenched your teeth. The fall was inevitable. Maybe it made you a coward but you couldn't bear to see it. You didn’t want to see Kunikuzushi die. Muttering an apology to the stranger in your dreams, you squeezed your teary eyes shut. 

The last thing you heard was a wet crushing sound, a mix between eggshells broken under the palm of your hand and a fruit being squashed. Your body jolted in your bed and you gagged, fighting the urge to throw up. You had never felt this sick. Not even when you dreamt of unfair massacres.

You sank to the floor, furiously wiping away the tears beading in the corner of your eyes. You couldn't do it anymore. You had to confront your dreaming problem. There was only one solution: if your brain was so adamant on obsessing over an imaginary character, you had to show it the harsh reality, to remind yourself that Kabukimono never existed.

Your trip to Sumeru was the most spontaneous project you ever planned. You were strolling through the busy streets of Sumeru city the very next day with barely enough money to get back to your nation. You had packed the bare minimum in your suitcase to carry it easily, meaning you wouldn’t be able to stay for more than just a few days.

That was, if you found a room for the night. You had no time to check what the usual prices were in the capital before leaving. Now that you were scouring the streets with your meager funds, unable to find a hotel within your budget, you were bitterly regretting your lack of foresight. You sighed. You supposed that the saying was right. Slow and steady wins the race.

As if it had felt your determination dwindling, the crushing sound echoed in your mind in response. You bit your lip, bile rising in your throat. You hadn't been able to forget about your last dream. It looped in your head like a broken record. Even if impulsively leaving your country was one of your worst ideas ever, the quicker you settled your daydream problem the sooner you'd be back to your normal life. 

Your weary steps lead you to an indoor bazaar. The smell of fried food filled your nostrils, making your stomach growl. You winced. The small homemade sandwich you had earlier couldn't compete with the appeal of street food. Unfortunately you needed to save your funds for a room. You let your gaze wander in the crowded marketplace, trying to distract yourself from the appetizing smell. Colorful stalls were full of fresh fruits, potted flowers and intricate trinkets. If you stood on your toes, you could even see a small theater representation in the farthest part of the bazaar. It was a lively place that perfectly encapsulated Sumeru’s charm.

You were about to turn back when your eyes stopped on a blue silhouette near a candy stand. You didn't know how you missed them earlier. In the brown and green crowd, their traditional clothing and their ornamented Inazuman hat stuck out like a sore thumb. They were in deep discussion with the merchant. Turquoise fabric trailed behind them, floating in the wind.

Without a second thought, you cut through the crowd, never leaving the stranger from your sight. Your heart leaped in your chest when they left the small stall. 

"Hey, you with the hat! Stop!" you yelled. To your dismay, the Inazuman did not even slow down. They must have been too far to hear you. Breaking into a sprint, you called again. "Hat guy!" 

You breached the distance in a few seconds. Just as you were about to grab their shoulder, they turned around. A cold hand snatched your wrist, making you wince. When you looked at its owner, you were greeted with a deep scowl and narrowed indigo eyes. 

"Don't." The man’s low voice warned you, his tone full of unspoken threats. You swallowed uncomfortably as your confidence melted away. He managed to be intimidating in spite petite stature and youthful appearance.

As he glared daggers at you, you were hit by a feeling you couldn’t quite place. You pressed your lips together, studying his messy black mullet and his glowing Anemo Vision. The word popped up in your head. Familiar. The stranger felt familiar.

Wiping the feeling of déjà-vu from your mind, you retreated your hand. "Sorry, I was just trying to get your attention." 

"Well, now you have it," he huffed. Annoyance was written on his face. He crossed his arms. "What do you want?" 

A good question, but not one you had an answer to. Running after the man was a spur of the moment decision.

Self-awareness striked you like a thunderbolt. Why were you even doing this? Your goal was to cure your daydreaming, not to throw yourself headfirst into the rabbit hole nor to annoy a stranger with the tales of an imaginary character.

He clicked his tongue. "Hurry. I don't have all day." 

You huffed. It was true that you were taking too much time to gather your thoughts but he didn’t have to be rude about it. 

"I'm looking for someone,” you said tentatively. It was the closest you could get from the truth without annoying him. Considering his foul mood, the stranger would have walked away if you told him you were looking for the lack of existence of Kunikuzushi, the Sixth Harbinger, the person who tried to become an Archon, someone that only existed in your mind.

The man didn't answer, encouraging you to continue with a movement on the head. His black bangs flew in the light breeze. Now that you had a clearer view of his face, the man seemed more bored than irritated. He wanted the conversation to be over with but he still had the patience to hear you out. This realization gave you the courage you needed to talk again. 

"Their clothes are quite similar to yours, but they're red and black. They also have a hat. A huge one." You opened your arms in emphasis.

He scrunched his brows together, looking at you like you were an idiot. "Right. Because the length of their hat is the most important detail you could give me," he deadpanned. 

You fight the urge to sigh. "I wasn't done. I don't know much about them, but they're linked to the Fatui." The stranger's eyes narrowed in suspicion. He was back to glaring at you, his face closed. Unsettled by this sudden tension, you quickly added. "Probably. I'm still not sure about that." There was no Sixth Fatui Harbinger, after all. Your brain had made it up. 

"Of course." His voice was drier than earlier. What little interest he had in your discussion had melted at the mention of the Fatui. You scrunched your brows. You swore you could read another emotion than ire in his eyes, even if you didn’t know what. "Anything else I should know about that... Friend of yours?"

You racked your brain for more details. There was a lot to say about the person in your dream. Their lack of heart, their coup attempt in Sumeru, their bloody killings, the experimentations they underwent... Nothing you could talk about in public without looking crazy, in sum. The only thing you could still mention was... 

"Their name is Scaramouche."

The man went rigid. "What did you say?" he gawked, his eyes wide with shock.

"Scaramouche. I think that's their name?" Truthfully, they were given so many names that it probably wasn't their real one. But it was the one that came up most in your dreams. 

As if it caught onto the tense atmosphere, the wind abruptly stopped blowing. You barely noticed it, focused on the horror shining in the man's eyes. He couldn't believe what you had just said. His piercing eyes analyzed every inch of you with a newfound distrust. 

“Nobody should be able to-” He interrupted himself with a gasp. Recognition flashed across his face. "Wait. You...!"

His face went from surprise to disgust in the blink of an eye. You had barely the time to react before he pulled his hat down over his head, his scowl peeking from behind the rim.

"Of course fate would string something like this..." He let out a bitter laugh. "Has it ever made anything easy for me?"

You watched as crossed his arms, lifting his head to glare at you as if you had purposely wronged him. You tried to appease him by apologizing. "Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

Despite your question, you knew you had done nothing worth this cold attitude. You didn’t know why he was overreacting, why he was looking at you like dirt under his soles.  It’s as if he was personally offended by your description of the Balladeer. You blinked as pieces fell into place. An Inazuman with a strange hat and dark hair, just like the one you were looking for. Could it be…?

"Is that you? Are you Scaram—" 

The man turned around before you could finish your sentence, the blue fabric tied to his hat smacking you in the face. You yelped in pain.

"Don’t use this name." You couldn't see what kind of expression he was making but his flat tone told you enough.

You were standing in front of the protagonist of your dreams.

Reality shattered around you. There were only two reasons for your dreams to be visions of the past. You either were a seer —which was unlikely considering you had no elemental affinity— or you were using your soulmate link. Realization sank in. You had a soulmate. Everything finally clicked together: why you had Scaramouche's memories, why he recognized you, why you never stopped having those dreams… It was because the universe had deemed you a perfect fit.

Your eyes burned with unshed tears. You were not an anomaly without a soulmate, like you were led to believe. You just didn't pay attention to the signs.

"Wait a minute," you gasped. No matter how happy you were about your discovery, it came a lot of terrible implications. "Does it mean that everything is real? The Fatui, the taking over Sumeru part, everything ?" 

Kunikuzushi immediately clammed up. Not even bothering to look at you, he said without a trace of emotion. "This conversation is over."

Strong wind currents flared all around you with him acting as the epicenter of the small storm he invoked. You stared at him with wide eyes. He was getting away! 

"Please!"

You grabbed his sleeve and tugged hard, adrenaline pumping through your veins. The man gave you the dirtiest glare from above his shoulder as the miniature hurricane intensified. But you didn't let him go. You sank your nails deeper into his arm.

"Listen to me!” you said through gritted teeth. “I'm not gonna pretend I know everything about you because that's not true. I only know glimpses of you. Parts of your past that don't make any sense." 

You closed your eyes as the memories flooded your mind. The Gnosis, the laboratory, the crushing sound as he fell down... You didn't understand what those events meant to him. What kind of story they told. It was like you were in front of an incomplete puzzle where all edge pieces went missing. It was impossible to get the big picture no matter how many combinations you tried.

That didn’t mean the little bits of memories you had taught you nothing about him.

"You were hurt. That much is certain."

Your words only rekindled the fire of his ire. He bared his teeth at you. “Huh?! Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?” He stabbed your chest with his finger, forcing you to take a step back. “Seeing glimpses of my past doesn’t give you the right to assume things about me, you worm.”

"But it’s not an assumption. You lived a very long and lonely life. A bloody one too.” You briefly wondered if contrary to you, he had grown accustomed to seeing his hands covered in crimson. You let out a shaky exhale. “But you cannot talk about your life to anyone. No one would believe you if you talked about the Sixth Harbinger of the Fatui or what you were doing centuries ago."

You had the experience to back yourself up. You still weren't sure what the Fatui thing was all about but if you could barely believe it after seeing his memories firsthand, no one else could.

"See, you’re just assuming things again out of pity," Scaramouche snapped. He tore himself from your grasp, sneering. "Guess what? I don't need you to feel sorry about me."

You shook your head. "I wasn't about to."

You were never going to forget the feeling of blood on your hands, the crackling of electricity as you saw someone charred alive, the coolness of a cadaver against your skin. You couldn't bring yourself to feel sorry for this man. It wasn't what someone like him sought. 

Pity was for those forced to live under the ruling of unfairness, not able to object to its cruel laws. Forgiveness was for those that were mothered by this tyrant and dedicated their life to preach its teachings. For now, the Balladeer deserved none of them.

When you opened your eyes, Scaramouche had tipped his hat down, obscuring his expression. His grip on his crossed arms was so tight you thought he was going to break his fingers. 

"You don't understand. You can't understand."

His voice was lower than earlier, almost like a growl. 

It wasn't enough to scare you.

"You're right," you admitted. "I cannot understand you. But I really want to." 

Maybe it was because you knew him on a deeper level than a stranger, but something had changed. You were starting to notice it. The hurt he masked behind a veil of fury. Until his words, you thought he was just an eternally angry man, bitter at the world and at his fate. Now, you wondered if he was just someone who lived through too much. Someone who was ready to beg and kill himself for a glimpse of a better future.

He snorted, disbelief written across his face. “A human like you, understanding someone like me? Don’t make me laugh.” He leaned towards you. You fought the urge to take a step back, withholding his stare with all of the courage you could summon. His mouth contorted into a twisted smile. “You’ve seen what I am capable of. Not only are you fundamentally unable to relate to a fraction of my existence, you’re also unable to withstand it. Understanding me will only bring you trouble.”

“You already do.” Scaramouche didn't utter a word, turning his back to you. You didn't let it get to you, instead squeezing your hand against your chest. "I spent my life stuck with visions I couldn't control. Seeing your memories at random moments robbed me from precious moments with the people I love. From enjoying a normal life, one where I don’t have to fear falling asleep."

Your hands were shaking. Whether from anger or sorrow, you didn’t know. Scaramouche was the one assuming things. You may only be a human, one similar to thousands that have come before you, but you knew how it felt to be misunderstood. How it felt not to belong. Nobody had believed you for decades, nor understood why you were so uncomfortable when it came to sleeping. Even your friends couldn’t wrap their heads about your constant worry of getting lost in the daydreaming. You might as well have been from a different species.

You took a deep exhale. Your anger faded away as quickly as it came. "I feel close to you, no matter how strange it sounds. You've always been a small part of me.” Determination seeped through your tone. “So I won't be able to move on as long as I don't know what's going on with my soulmate."

Soulmate. The word rolled strangely on your tongue. It was the first time you were saying it out loud.

Scaramouche gagged at your word choice. "I'm not looking for a lover." Disgust laced his voice. Seems like you were not the only one who felt weird about the whole situation. 

You shook his concern with a wave of the hand. "Me neither. I'm looking for an explanation. A timeline in a chronological order, if possible." 

Your attempt at a joke fell flat as silence fell between the two of us. Your face shifted into a frown. Had you been too insistent? 

"It's alright if you find the situation strange," you said, trying to save the conversation. "I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that you saw glimpses of my life. This is quite embarrassing...."

You didn't have the most exciting life but there were private moments you wanted nobody to see. Especially not your soulmate. 

He shot you an uninterested look, examining the dirt beneath his nails. "I could not care less about your mundane life."

You blinked. You didn't expect him to get interested in your life as much as you were in his, but was that supposed to be comforting? Unsure how to respond, your face contorted into a polite smile.

None of you said a word after that. You didn't dare move either. Weariness taking over you, you watched as the back of his hair fluttered in the breeze, joining the hypnotizing dance of the blue ribbons. The sound of animated conversations and the ringing of distant bells filled the otherwise tense silence.

You were about to leave when Scaramouche let out the heaviest sigh known to mankind. He finally turned to you, uttering a single word. 

"Wanderer."

Whatever you were expecting him to say, it wasn't that. "Come again?" 

He rolled his eyes but repeated it anyway. "Wanderer. That’s my name. Not Scaramouche or whatever name you heard in my memories." 

You felt your entire face lit up. You could recognize an olive branch when you saw one. "I won't call you anything else, I promise!"

He sighed at your sudden excitement, shaking his head. You were starting to recognize when he was truly irritated and when he was acting annoyed by habit. This time, the look in his eyes didn't match his bored pout. It was not soft by any means, but he did not glare daggers at you anymore.

"I still don’t think someone like you can handle the tale of centuries of existence.” He clicked his tongue. “That being said, I suppose it would be entertaining to see you try. Come to the entrance of Sumeru city in two hours."

Your eyes widened. You thought that you wouldn’t get more than his name, and now he gave you the opportunity to explain his life ? You had half the mind to pinch yourself awake.

"Don't be late Wanderer!" 

He scoffed, readjusting the position of his ginormous hat. “If I were, you'd scream my name in the streets of Sumeru until you get ahold of me. No thanks."

"I wouldn't do that!"

"Oh, really?" A smug smirk took place on his lips. He cleared his throat before taking a high-pitched voice. " 'Hey, you with the hat, stop right there ! I really want to talk to you! Stop, I say !' "

You gasped in shock. "So you actually heard me! Do you not stop when someone calls you?"

"I do. I just don't typically talk to pipsqueaks."

His grin deepened at seeing your offended expression. He even let out a short laugh. You playfully punched the cheeky bastard on the shoulder, not putting much force in the blow. 

Wanderer didn't budge. He instead grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from him. His eyebrows were pinched together in irritation. "Don’t think you can punch me and get out unscathed, kid."

Despite his words, his grasp on you was light, as if he was careful not to hurt you. It was easy to slip from his hold. He was entertaining you, you realized. Considering how harsh he had been when you first had tried to touch him, a light scold was nothing. 

Mimicking a fighting stance, you started shifting your weight from left to right.

"You're the one who's gonna bite the dust! I can knock out someone with a single blow!" You punched the air to demonstrate, a smile blooming on your face. "I can take anyone in a fight!" 

Wanderer pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated by your playful attitude. "Celestia above, not another Childe..."

You pouted at his words. "Are you calling me a child again? I'll let you know that I'm a fully-fledged adult!" You may not be as old as the immortal puppet but you were no kid by human standards. You were only teasing Wanderer because you needed something light after your heavy talk. He couldn’t base his whole perception of you on a speech stemming from your sleep-deprived self…

He clicked his tongue in his mouth before looking at you directly in the eyes. "You talk big for someone I've seen fall in the stairs several times."

Horror washed over you. Every little embarrassing moment you lived flooded your mind. The fact that Wanderer had seen some of them sent warmth pooling in your cheeks. 

"You said you didn't care about my life!" you said, absolutely mortified. 

"It doesn't mean watching you was not mildly entertaining. Why would I focus on boring Fatui politics talk when I could be the witness to the mess of your teenage years?” Your expression was decomposing by the second, to his delight. "I especially liked it when—"

You cut him off with a nervous laugh. "Alright, alright, I get it. Aren't you busy?" 

His gaze fell into a small pouch at his sides. "I do, actually. Buer must be looking for me."

"Buer? Who's that?" You didn't remember hearing this name in his memories.

"The Dendro Archon," he said like it was the most obvious thing on Teyvat. 

"...Right. Of course.”

Maybe you were a bit too optimistic about his ability to open up to you.

Wanderer couldn't believe himself. Three betrayals should have been enough to teach him that closeness only brought pain. Whether because of misunderstandings, lies or the unpredictable and unescapable scythe of Death, the ending was always the same: he was fated to end up hurt. Alone. Cursing himself for loving too much.

He snorted. He knew all of that and yet here he was, wrapping his job up before his meeting with you. How pathetic.

Part of him was not surprised about this new twist of events. Fate liked to throw him in the most ironic situations. He was currently going on errands for Buer, the same Archon he had tried to supplant her months ago and who took him prisoner. Randomly meeting his soulmate in the middle of the streets was not the most unexpected thing to have happened to him. Far from it. At that point, he was surprised it hadn’t happened earlier.

When Wanderer entered the sanctuary of Surasthana, the Archon was sitting on her swing, humming to herself. The melancholic tune didn’t sound familiar but the lyrics in old Sumerian sang the tale of a love long gone. If he rolled his eyes at the song choice, he was polite enough to wait until the end of the song before clearing his throat.

Buer perked up, finally noticing him. She jumped from the swing and greeted him with a small wave.

"Hat guy!" He cocked an eyebrow at the oh so creative sobriquet, making her giggle. "I’m glad to see you. I was starting to think that you had forgotten about me."

"As if my memory would get faulty. I was held up by someone." Holding his hat to pin it into place, he sat on the lush grass. Reunions with Buer always took a while. He might as well make himself comfortable. 

Familiar curious green eyes landed on him. "Was it a friend from the Akademiya?"

He rolled his eyes. "I had never seen them before."

He had expected this flow of questions. Buer was very invested in his relationships with other people– well, rather his lack of. She had made him participate in social events like the Interdarshan championship to socialize. She even enrolled him in the Akademiya. Her argument was that it would help him understand humanity better, as well as himself. 

The results were arguably mixed. Wanderer admittedly tolerated people a bit better than before. They were predictable creatures but they could be entertaining. Sometimes. On the other hand, he had not grown close to anyone since he started attending classes. Sure, some students followed him around, gushing about the mysterious “hat guy” and throwing a birthday party for him, but he would not call them friends. They were classmates at most. It was for the best: it didn’t matter if Buer claimed he was progressing regarding socialization, talking to him was an experience he wished on no one.

She didn’t seem to agree with him. Excitement and pride shone in her eyes. "Every stranger is a friend in potentiality. That is what makes new meetings so exciting: you might be talking to your new favorite person in Teyvat," she beamed, taking place near him. 

"If you say so." 

Friendship was a human concept. Something he could neither fully understand or get. Melodramatic speeches and lengthy explanations meant nothing to him. That is why Wanderer didn’t try to counter her argument. There was no point in talking about something he knew nothing about.

What he did know was that Buer was wrong. You were no stranger to him.

His gaze fell to his hands. The first time he had seen your memories, Scaramouche had thought he was defective. He had never been able to dream until then. His creator didn’t see the interest in allowing him to do so. The only reason he knew what dreams were was because Niwa liked to recount his when they worked together in the forge. 

One second he was lying down in the laboratory of the Fatui, the other he was in a small bed. Piles of toys were scattered around him, decorating what seemed to be a child’s bedroom. Why on Teyvat was he here? Scaramouche tried to move his arm but it did not move an inch. He cursed under his breath. For some reason, his body refused to listen to him. If it was Il Dottore’s scheme, the man was dead.

Without a warning, his head turned. He was greeted by the reflection of a small child in the mirror of the wardrobe. You.

His mind had been pure madness when he had come back to his senses. He had the time to zap five machines before the Doctor arrived, complaining that his research was being destroyed. The Tsaritsa, the stars, fate itself... He had cursed everything he could think of for giving him a soulmate. There was no other reason behind his sudden ability to “dream”. Fate had decided to intertwine your destinies together. The thought only made him more angry.

He couldn't be mad at the child you were, though. You were barely five. No matter how much of an unfeeling person he was, Scaramouche was not about to hold the situation against someone as young as you. A small part of him, one he had tried to bury for centuries, had even ached to hold your chubby hands in his when he had seen you reach for your reflection.

With the impossibility of breaking a soulmate bond, the Fatui Harbinger had been forced to watch you as you grew. He learnt about your favorite color, the school subject you liked best, the names of your childhood friends, the color of your bedroom, all the details of your ordinary life. He was a spectator to mundane moments, to victories and horrific failures alike.

You had transformed from a kid with shining eyes to a determined adult before his eyes.

If Buer was right and that all friends started as strangers, it meant that you would never be able to grow close to him. You already knew him.

Wanderer plucked a few strands of grass, watching how they fell to the ground. No, hoping for you two to be friends was wishful thinking. You had seen the atrocities he had done as a Fatui Harbinger. Once he filled the gap in your knowledge, you would not want anything to do with him. His erasure from existence didn’t excuse the actions of his past life.

He would not blame you. He deserved your hate. At the end of the day you were another name on the endless list of his victims. Because of your soulmate link, you had lived your entire life plagued by visions you didn't understand, othered because of things out of your control. You were the proof that Wanderer brought suffering just by existing. That he wasn't a fundamentally good person, like the one Buer and Traveler insisted he was. You had every right to loathe him.

That was why he accepted your offer. If he explained everything to you, if he confirmed that every "dream" of yours was true, you would move on. You would forgive Fate for giving you such an unloving person as a soulmate. Maybe you would even want to settle down with someone else... At the end of the day, you'd be free from the chain of destiny. So would he.

The world would let him do a good thing, for a change. 

"While it's true that talking it out will appease both of your minds, you shouldn't only see them as a way to atone for the sins of your past life," Buer intervened. 

Wanderer gave her an unimpressed look, throwing away the rest of the grass strands. "One day, you will have to answer for all of those breaches of privacy before the General Mahamatra."

"Talking about your thoughts with someone else can help you sort them out and gain new insight. I felt like you could benefit from it."

Her growing smile told him that she didn't feel sorry for reading his mind without his consent. He huffed. She was lucky he had grown accustomed to this habit of hers.

She hummed as she stepped in front of him. "Agreeing to a meeting to ease your guilty conscience is not a bad thing in itself. The problem is that you’re assuming that they can only hate you."

“What other reaction could they have?” The answer appeared in his mind before he finished his sentence. “Pity?” Pronouncing the word made his insides hurl. Wanderer would rather feel your wrath than your pity. The former didn’t feel as disgusting as the other;

Buer shook her head. “That’s not it either. It’s alright if you don’t yet understand Wanderer, you will see in due time.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. He preferred it when she used complex metaphors. At least he had the opportunity to understand what was going on in her mind, contrary to when she used vague words of wisdom like a drowsy prophet.

"If I can give you one more piece of advice, you should give this relationship a chance." Seeing his scowl of disgust, she explained herself. "I'm not telling you to pursue a romance with them. Just don't assume that tonight is the only time you meet. Keep your mind and your heart open."

Despite her smile, she had a serious look in her eyes. It was the face of wisdom in all of its assured glory. Wanderer closed his eyes. It was easy for him to forget she was not a young child, like the one he took care of all those centuries ago. 

"There is a reason why they're your soulmate," Buer said. "Don't you want to discover why?" 

"Someone like them has nothing in common with me." 

Your memories told the tale of a simple life. In an ideal world, a normal person like you wouldn't have been paired up with him. How it happened in this one was a mystery. If he was inclined to pity others, Wanderer would feel bad for you. Being his soulmate only brought you experiences that you couldn’t talk about to anyone.

“You cannot talk about your life to anyone. No one would believe you if you talked about the Sixth Harbinger of the Fatui or what you were doing centuries ago.” Their hands shook as they lifted their head to meet his gaze. He stilled. He had expected to read loneliness and fire in their eyes. He only found the glow of loneliness. It was the same he had seen in your reflection all those years ago.

Wanderer hid his face behind his hand. He supposed he was wrong. He could see a few ressemblances between you and him. That didn’t necessarily mean you would become friends.

"Don't expect too much from this meeting. I only plan on retelling my story, not on learning more about them."

Gentle hands covered his, pulling them away from his face before lightly squeezing them.

“You don’t need to. You already know them better than anyone else.” Buer's voice was as soft as her expression.

He opened his mouth but no snarky counter-argument came to his mind. From what little insight Wanderer had gained on friendship over the course of his life, sharing experiences with a potential friend wasn’t enough. You also had to learn about the other person's personality, their taste, the little things they did… Such a process was too much work for a relationship that would eventually decay. But the man already knew you, more intimately than any person ever would.

If to be friends was to learn about someone, he had become yours a long time ago.

Wanderer fought the urge to shield his face behind his hat. It would be as good as admitting to Buer her words had struck a chord. No way he would embarrass himself like that.

“You're not going to give up, are you?" he sighed.

“While I do hope you will form a bond with them, I will not hold it against you if it doesn’t happen.” She took some time to think, trying to come up with a convincing imagery. “Fate is a tricky concept. It steers you in a specific direction but it cannot force you to follow it. No matter what, you can always make your own way.”

He let the words sink in as he laid down on the cool grass. From the Sanctuary, he could hear the entire city’s hustle and bustle. The sound of the streets mixed with the chirping of the birds and the rustle of the wind through the branches.

He felt Buer sitting next to him. Her voice interrupted his quiet reverie, sounding cheekier than usual.

"Don't I deserve something in return for my good advice?"

Her eyes were focused on the small pouch hanging at his side.  He had forgotten about it, their conversation had distracted him. Wanderer shook his head in defeat. The Archon didn’t need to use her mind-reading powers to know about the actions of her subjects. 

“If you want to be paid for giving lectures, you should think about becoming a teacher at the Akademiya.”

“I would deprive someone from the joy of educating young minds.”

His lips curled into a grin. “Right. Poor them.”

Feeling her gaze on him, he relented. He unclipped the package from his belt and gave it to her, not bothering to sit back up. Buer tried to open it carefully. It was so full that in spite of her efforts, morsels of candied Ajilenakh nuts spilled on the ground.

Wanderer frowned at the sight of the mess. Something churned inside him. If he had known it would be wasted, he wouldn’t have bought so much food.

“Be more careful,” he chastised her. “It’s expensive.”

Buer shot him a perplexed look. He scoffed in response, averting his gaze. 

"I didn't buy them. The merchant gave free samples to bystanders and he couldn't take no for an answer."

Another white lie from him. He had noticed that Buer didn't have much candy left and since he had to go to the Bazaar anyway, he had decided to buy some. He watched as she inspected a piece of candy, rolling it between her fingers. He didn't get why she was head over heels for those disgustingly sweet nuts but he had to keep her in good spirits. Otherwise, she might decide to lock him back in his cell. That and seeing her smile so much sent warmth running in his chest. 

Her eyes crinkled, amused. "A free sample? How nice," she said, popping one of the delicacies in her mouth. He supposed there was no fooling the Archon of Knowledge. She pointed at him. "Your friend hasn't had the opportunity to try food from Sumeru, have they? You could bring them to Lambad’s and keep some of the Ajilenakh nuts to snack on."

“We have other things to do than distract ourselves with culinary tourism.”

“It’s not a distraction! See it as a bonding experience that will allow you to grow closer.”

He arched a brow, unimpressed. “As if I needed something like this to become their friend.”

He stopped after his own sentence. He blinked, not believing what he had just said.

Wanderer didn't know how he ended up in this situation. Truly. He was never one to let Fate decide for him. He defied it at each opportunity, fighting with all he had. This shouldn't have been any different. He was a traveler, an outcast, an outsider. He had no use for a soulmate– a lover. Especially not a human one, one that would be gone in a blink of his immortal life. 

He had no use for a lover, but he supposed that if he had to befriend a single person in the world, it may as well be you.

If you liked this work, please reblog and leave a comment or an ask!

[starfallforest]

Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists

I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​

I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.

De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):

“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]

Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.

“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]

This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)

Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):

“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]

Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.

NFWMB:

“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]

This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.

It Will Come Back:

“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]

This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.

Arsonist’s Lullaby:

“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]

Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle

BONUS ROUND Through Me:

“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”

We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.

Blood Upon the Snow:

“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”

Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr

Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​

[depressopax]

In my feelings

Nacho Varga x gender neutral reader

Fandom - Better call Saul

Nacho brainrot is so real you guys. Enjoy

Pairing: Nacho Varga x gender neutral reader Genre: Smut, PWP basically Warning(s): Sexual content. MDNI! Phone sex, masturbation, cuss words, FWB dynamic. Reader is gender-neutral! Words: 0.9K Summary: Nacho calls reader whilst jerking off, hoping that you can help him get off. English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

|| AO3 link || Masterlist || Request ||

He still remembers your taste, the memory fresh on his lips. His fist is tight around his leaking cock, and he pumps himself fast. He’s been stuck like this for longer than he dares admit. Weeks, days, and long hours - Stuck yearning for you. 

We’re better off as friends. How he regrets his words.

It’s been a month since you ended up in bed with him - under him. 

It’s like you’re haunting him now. Not only does he think of you in the mornings, but also at nights before falling asleep. And lately, you’re even in his dreams. 

Nacho feels like a broken record. All he wants is you. It’s ridiculous. 

The clock is 9pm, and he is tired and frustrated.  He just came back from work, and dealing with the cartel for hours is a damn nightmare. To release stress, he’s sitting on the couch jerking off. But nothing works to get off. 

Nothing, but the memories of you. He feels guilty for thinking of you - his best friend - like that, but he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop. It feels like he’ll never stop wanting you, and it scares the shit out of him. That’s why he tried pushing you away. But it only made things worse. He hates knowing what he can’t have. 

His fist tightens and he moves his hand roughly. He wishes it was your hand wrapped around him. Hell, your mouth would work too. But most of all, he wishes to be inside of you. 

Nacho can’t take it. He groans and reaches for his phone. Bad idea. Bad fucking idea. He bites his lip and finds your number. 

And he calls.

Your heart skips a beat. Nacho. It’s been two weeks, and you’ve missed his voice. Things have been so awkward between you after that hookup. You almost regret it. Almost. 

“Hey.” Your voice is slightly shaky. But Nacho doesn’t seem to notice. Actually… He doesn’t seem to hear you, at all. “...Nacho?”

He breathes out your name on the other line. The sounds he makes sends shivers down your spine. What is he…?

“You there?”

“I need you.” he says hoarsely. You can hear the arousal through your phone's speaker. “Fuck… I need you.” 

“Are you…”

“Yes.” he swallows hard, and his next words sound anxious. He’s ashamed. This was a stupid idea. “Sorry.”

“Wait!” you shout, before he has the chance to hang up. “Fuck, Nacho. I need you too, damnit.” 

He stops mid-stroke and blinks his eyes. Did he hear you right? 

“I’m sorry. When I said we were better off as friends? It was a lie.” He exhales. “You’re all I think about.”

Your heart skips another beat and all warmth goes down. Down there. 

“And you’re all I think about, Nacho.” 

Your words, and voice, almost sends him over the edge. He lets out a guttural moan as he feels an orgasm approaching. 

“I want to see you.” 

“You will, babe…-”

“No. I mean… Let me see you, now.”

The idea flusters Nacho. But it also excites him. Jerking off on cam, for you? 

“Alright. Call me up.” he almost hisses. The arousal is killing him, and everything about this situation drives him wild. 

You swallow hard as you see him. He tilts the phone camera down, showing you his hard cock. The tip is red and leaking, and you take pride in knowing it’s all for you. He’s this hard, vulnerable and desperate - only for you.

“Talk to me.” Nacho whispers. 

You’re too distracted looking at him, mesmerized by his toned abs, the sweaty tan skin and the generous length of his.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Your voice is shaky. “I wish I could jerk you off right now. Suck you off. Fuck, I want to give you it all, Nacho.” 

He throws his head back, and moves his hips up. He fucks into his own fist, pretending it’s yours. He can’t believe he’s doing this, and that you agreed to it. When he called, he was scared you’d be repulsed by him. That you’d find him creepy. But here you are, watching him. 

You continue talking to him, your own need growing. You need him. His lips on yours, his cock inside you. Anything. Just him. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Nacho grunts. 

“Come for me.” And he does. He moans out your name, and whimpers from the intensity of his release. Afterwards, he’s panting for air. 

“That was… Amazing.” He whispers. 

You smile at him. Indeed it was. 

Problem is, you’re still horny. And the arousal is getting more intense from watching him spurt his cum out. He’s so hot. 

You try hiding how turned on you are, But Nacho notices.

“I’m sorry… I’ve been selfish. Now it’s your turn, alright?” He actually feels guilty. Incredibly guilty. He was so focused on getting off, so incredibly turned on, that he forgot about your pleasure. Little does he know that you’re wet just from watching him. 

You’re about to tell him that it’s okay, but… You smirk and look at him.

“You can make it up to me.”

“I’ll do anything.” he murmurs. 

“Why don’t you come over? Finish what you’ve started.” 

He smirks at you. 

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

And now that he finally has you, he won’t let you go. 

I wrote this after finishing sobbing because Iove Nacho 😭

[cherrys-fanfic-posting-again]

THIS IS FOR MY BESTIE @adela-arts I KNOW IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS SINCE YOU SENT THIS HEADCANON TO ME BUT THE LEON BRAINROT IS BACK AND IT’S SEVERE and i finally have motivation to write which is wild

No use of gendered pronouns, no use of y/n or name at all for that matter just a simple slightly angsty but soft/comfort fic with Leon that beat me over the head at like four am. If you see me projecting how i need to sleep rn onto these two no you didn't, haven't proofread because I am tIRED I will fix in the morning if there's any mistakes, anyways enjoy xx

—————————————————————

'Not going anywhere, sweetheart' - Leon Kennedy X Reader

When you woke it was with a slight jolt. The distant remnants of the dream that had woke you into an unease already fading into the background of your mind. The familiar tightness of anxiety winding up within your chest.

Turning onto your side the unease melted away, the tightness in your chest faded slowly with a gentle sigh at the sight of Leon next to you. It was just a dream, you repeat to yourself. One that you could not remember the details of but knew played on one of your biggest fears, losing Leon.

It was not an unfounded fear. He had an incredibly dangerous job, not that he could discuss it with you and if he could he wouldn't. The small glimpses were deemed bad enough, but you knew from the haunted look in his eyes when he returned home, and how he withdrew from you for weeks, even months at a time just what kind of toll it took on him.

He would shake with anxiety when at rest, wake up in the middle of the night calling out to people that he had lost, people that blamed him for not saving them. From the various cuts and wounds that would add to the many scars he already had littering his body as a disfigured record of what he had survived yet again, you knew. You knew that one day you could possibly lose him, and it was terrifying. It haunted you in the nights when he wasn’t here, taunted you when he was here beside you, reminding you that he would have to leave again and one day he would never return.

The sound of his work phone ringing gave you anxiety, you’d listen quietly holding onto a breath as he spoke on the line with someone. Breathe a sigh of relief when it came to nothing or solemnly watch him from across the room as he tried to strangle his own phone in his hand damning the caller for what they had dragged him into once more before quietly helping him pack a travel bag to leave you gnawing on your lip and eating yourself alive with anxiety until he returned home again. If he ever would.

The room was dim as the sun was barely just rising but you could still make out the strong structure and soft curves of his face as you sat up on your side leaning against the headboard to watch him in this rare tranquillity.

His hair fell away from his face and messily parted, you can already picture him fixing it in the morning, meticulously parting and brushing out the strands that had shifted out of form. His plump lips slightly parted as he lightly snored, it was hardly noticeable but it and the light rising of his chest was the only sign that he was still alive as he lay still and stiff upon the the mattress, a habit that had formed from what he declared was from time being trained in the military.

The crease Leon usually wore between his brows, a permanent feature of the bottled up emotions he harboured, was now smoothed out leaving subtle fine lines behind reminding you of its presence and its return in the morning.

Not that he was an angry man, he was the sweetest guy you knew but he had been through a lot, more than anyone should have to go through in their lifetime.

It was moments like these you could admire him for who he was, a kindhearted and gentle man, not Agent Kennedy or hardened survivor of Raccoon City, not even the rookie cop that he had told you about before his life went to hell. Just Leon Kennedy, stripped of all the valour, the man you loved.

Dusted across his nose and cheeks was light brown speckles, not as noticeable from afar as they were up close. A small curl at the corner of your lips grow as you scanned them, he had laughed once when you had said that the sun loves him enough to give him that light cluster of freckles, he had found the compliment cheesy pretending to cringe at it and yet you can still remember the smile and light dusting of a blush that lingered on his face for minutes after.

Oh, how at ease he looked when he didn’t have the horrors of his job looming over him. When for a brief moment he could act like he was an average citizen. It was a beautiful sight to behold and unfortunately a rare one.

It had only been mere minutes that you had spent admiring him and yet as if he could sense someone watching him he woke from his sleep, eyes opening up to squint at the room around him and dart his eyes toward you, observing cautiously how you sat up to watch over him and he relaxed again. It was still dark, not quite morning and not quite night but still he couldn’t fathom why you would be awake at this hour watching him.

He coaxed you to lie beside him once again and you did, sinking beneath the sheets once again and shuffling into his side as he questioned, voice still thick with sleep. “What are you doing up?”

“Just making sure you’re still here.” you spoke softly as you now pressed into his side, your head resting on his shoulder and your hand placed upon his chest gently stroking along his skin. “I had a dream, I can’t remember it but when I woke I was worried you were gone again.” you sounded guilty. The emotions that his job put you through were tough ones, he knew them all too well himself, and yet you never complained, never got angry at him for having to leave, you only worried when he was gone and then worried when he was home for the next moment when he would be gone. It was something he warned you about even tried to convince you to leave him over and yet you remained.

Either you were a glutton for misery or you really loved him. He hoped it was the latter.

With a heavy and contented sigh he angled himself towards you pressing a kiss to your hair and even if he couldn’t guarantee to keep the promise he still made it. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” And for your sake more than his own he hoped that even if it’s just for a few days, he’d be able to keep that promise.

[damagedintellect]

Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 2 💌  

Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.

Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too 

💌 Word count: 2,929 💌 Available Chapters [1] [You are here] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

The next morning you were woken up to a phone call. It was weird since the ringtone was not the one you were used to and the phone wasn’t placed where you normally put it by your side. You tried to keep your eyes closed, you were still tired. Eventually your hand found a flip phone and you picked up the call. 

“Yeah.” you sounded dead tired but sure enough Dazai’s chipper voice filled your ear. “And good morning to you~”

You groaned only half heartedly mumbling “It’s too early for this. Call Atsushi to get you out of the oil drum or whatever you got yourself stuck in. I’m going back to sleep.” You ended up slurring some of the words but you were on the precipice of falling back asleep.

“Wow, that's rude to say to someone who saved your life last night. I called you in good faith that my darling (Y/N) would help me with this emergency. Although that does leave me wondering, does your ability make you psychic?” That’s when the events from the night prior stirred you from your sleepy haze. Oh shit. You felt like you were dunked in cold water. Too much, you fucked up. Fix it. Lie. Lie like your life depends on it. What would Atsushi do? He’d panic and apologize right?

“OH GOD IT WASN’T A DREAM! I thought I was still dreaming. It was just a guess, I’m sorry Dazai I’ll-” you were cut off. Perfect.

“Calm down, I was only teasing you but you should come out once you’ve changed. Atsushi’s already downstairs waiting for you.” He ended the call swiftly after. 

That could have gone better but at least it wasn’t the worst thing having him think you had an ability. Maybe it was a good thing but still you didn’t like the casualness of it all. Dazai was one of your favorite characters that you knew way too much about. Naturally you don’t want to get on his bad side but you wanted to be kept close. Even though you feel like you can anticipate where he’s coming from, the fact of the matter is he’s supposed to be unpredictable. The problem is you want to be important but the man is a walking redflag and boy do you love flags. You already know romance was not an option especially with the way he flirts with women. He clearly doesn't have much interest in such a thing anyways. His idea that everything he desires will be taken from him always gets in the way of developing any deep meaningful relationship anyhow. Or at least was your guess based on what you’ve read. You feel like that’s the reason why he’s always annoying everyone all the time so in the event something were to happen to either them or himself he could continue without much worry. Especially since he wants to die without being a burden to anyone. You shift your focus to the clothes provided for you, a white button up shirt, pants and boots similar to Atsushi’s but instead of suspenders and a tie you were given a lightweight sweater vest to complete your look. You thought it was cute as you looked in the mirror on your way out the door.

You didn’t say much on the way through town, still embarrassed about how you spoke on the phone. Dazai spoke primarily about the job he would help get you both. Sometimes he would glance back at you just to make sure you were still listening. He even winked at you when he was talking about how good of a fit the two of you would be. The man had no right to be this attractive. As Dazai finished talking himself up Kunikida stormed in to set the record straight. 

Atsushi looked over to you “I’m starting to have second thoughts about accepting his help. Maybe I should just look for a job on my own.” 

“Eh, Dazai might seem like a moron but I’d trust him on this one. Think about it, you don’t exactly have the greatest credentials to get a job anyhow.” You shrugged, shoving your hands in your pockets. The reason you didn’t get much sleep last night is because you were dreading the next thing Kunikida was about to say. You're afraid you'll be absolutely useless.

“We have an emergency. A man has taken a hostage and threatened to blow up our office.”

Atsushi tried to protest but Dazai and Kunikida were not having it. You followed along without complaint, of course as was your plan from the beginning. If you’re being honest you forgot half of what Junichiro’s speech was about until you heard it right now. Like who was he talking to if not you guys hiding behind the decorative shrubbery. The office workers and hostage had been there for a while. Why wait till right now to say those things. Atsushi was still trying to whimper his way out of helping and Dazai was trying to coax him otherwise. You only nodded along.

“Then there’s only one option.” Dazai said taking a stance with Kunikida following suit. The game of rock, paper, scissors was short and the face Atsushi was making was priceless. Kunikida stood up and approached the “mad bomber” as calmly as he could. “Hey, easy does it kid.”

“Stay away, I only want to see the president! Don’t you try anything funny or I’ll blow this place to bits.”

Kunikida put his hands up slowly and backed away “Okay.”

“I know who you are. You’re Kunikida. You want me to lower my guard so that you can use that annoying ability of yours to stop me. Well that sure ain't happening. Lay on that desk on your hands and knees, and keep both feet above your head- ” as he continued on, you shook with laughter, suppressing the sound at the strange but clearly not well thought order. You saw Dazai side eye you and you whispered “Sorry I know this is bad but the request he was making, how would Kunikida, just never mind. This means you can’t go out there either, Dazai.”

“It would only make him more angry. Oh my whatever shall we do now?”

You both looked at Atsushi “Absolutely not.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“I already know what you’re gonna ask.” 

You sighed “Atsushi we are the only option.” Dazai nodded “You’re not a formal member and the bomber doesn’t know either of you at all.”

Before Dazai could move you were already rummaging through the boxes to grab newspapers. “Listen, you just need to distract him long enough for me to back you up. We got this alright?” you looked at Dazai for confirmation.

You took the words out of Dazai’s mouth but he just shrugged continuing the thought. “Yeah. How bout you put on an act. Make it depressing like you think you’re a real worthless human being. I know you can do it right?”

You handed Atsushi the newspapers but he still looked worried. Dazai dropped the smile whispering “Trust me, scuffles on this scale are child's play compared to what we normally deal with. You can handle this Atsushi.” He was quaking in his boots as he started his speech. Dazai looked at you and raised an eyebrow. You gave a pointed look at Kunikida “Since Atsushi looks around the same age as the guy it’s better for him to be the one to reason with him. Worst case scenario I’ll just run and throw myself on the bomb. I already don’t have any memories anyways” you don’t look at Dazai’s face you half expected him to make a double suicide offer. Atsushi got right in Junichiro’s face making the perfect opening for Kunikida. While everyone was distracted with relief you started to untie Naomi, ushering her to the other side of the room. By the time Dazai started messing with Kunikida you had already walked behind the desk ready to move the bomb to the far corner.

“Now you’ll pay. I swear anyone with supernatural powers is not totally right in the head.” Tanizaki declared pressing the detonator.

Once the bomb started ticking you were already in the corner. You turned crouching around the bomb “Thanks for last night, it was great we should do it again sometime!” You smiled fearlessly at Atsushi as he grabbed the bomb from your arms and pushed you away. Dazai caught you as you stumbled back. The bomb didn’t go off of course and you all stood around Atsushi. Dazai helped you to your feet asking if you were okay and you nodded.

“Geez you know I figured the kid was stupid but I didn’t expect them both to be suicidal.” Kunikida groaned while Dazai chimed “It seems I’m rubbing off on them. Wouldn’t you agree, Tanizaki?” The redhead peered around Kunikida’s side hesitantly “Sorry, are you okay?”

"Heee?"

You laughed at Atsushi’s confusion as it shifts to clear irritation. “I’m guessing that was the entrance exam?” you turned towards Dazai for confirmation as the president walked in.

“You’re exactly right.” Fukuzawa then explained the rest of the sentiment with Dazai’s plan to get you both into the agency. You leaned on the desk behind you waiting for Atsushi to come to terms with his decision. He was arguing with how violent the job is for him but you pointed out “Way too violent? I don’t think you can say that when you pried me off a bomb to protect everyone.”

He still needed more convincing but you stopped paying attention. Sitting in the closest chair you relaxed into the piece of furniture. Wasn’t your best but wasn’t your worst. Eventually you all went to the cafe downstairs. You got a hot chocolate not really being a fan of coffee and not feeling like tea. You were already tired but it was still only afternoon. You guys still had the whole day ahead of you. 

Junichiro was apologizing to you both but you told him not to sweat it. You made the claim that at some point you realized that he and Naomi were siblings. Naomi didn't even need to be prompted to start molesting her brother. As the siblings did their thing Kunikida came up to talk with you both about upholding the agency’s good name. Meanwhile Dazai was doing the exact opposite by flirting with the hostess. That’s when Atsushi asked what they did before working at the agency.

“Take a guess. It’s a game we play a lot here actually. Newcomer tries to guess his colleagues' former occupations. Think of it as part of training to be a private investigator.”

Atsushi looked at you before you added “I’ve been pretty good at guessing games so far. I'll take my guesses once you get stumped.” You folded your hands behind your head giving him the lead. He hummed “I want to say Junichiro and Naomi were students?” 

“Whoa you got it. Nice one.”

“How did you figure that one out?”

The siblings looked surprised but they really shouldn’t be. It was so obvious given their age and the fact that one of them was literally in a uniform. Why else would they only be part timers “Not half bad Atsushi. What about Mr. Kunikida?” The aforementioned blonde spat out his coffee. “Nobody cares about what I used to be alright!”

Atsushi tried to focus again “Hmm, an official? Did he have a government job?”

“Almost. What do you think (Y/N)?” Dazai gave you time to answer “It might be the glasses but “Mr. Kunikida” screams math teacher.” 

“I could totally picture that actually.” Atsushi responded flatly. Kunikida was grumbling “It was another life. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“What about me then?” Dazai perked up in his chair.

“What did you do?”

“Yup my job.” Dazai smiled knowing he would have no way of guessing. Atsushi went on a rampage trying to guess it. You just sipped your coco waiting. Debating if it was a good idea to frazzle the brunette by letting him know but you wanted to see his face. Kunikida huffed, betting he didn't actually have an occupation before this.

“Not true, I would never lie about something like this. You've given up right?”

Junichiro’s phone went off, drawing everyone’s attention to the call. It was work, Higuchi to be exact. Dazai tried to wrap it up "Let’s save the guessing game-"

"Actually I would like to take my shot in the dark if it's all the same to everyone else. I only need one guess to be right." You interjected immediately. You made up your mind. This was happening. It's about to go down.

Dazai perked up cheerily like he had been for the past few minutes as you leaned in between him and Kunikida. You cupped your hand around his ear whispering “The demon prodigy and ex- port mafia executive himself, Osamu Dazai.” When you pulled away he fiend ignorance and kept up his usual comical persona “Ding ding ding we have a winner! Now let's go meet with our client shall we.” He stood up and started ushering everyone upstairs shooing Kunikida when he tried to ask questions “Wait just like that! I wanna know.” Atsushi followed after. As you passed Dazai he put his hand on your shoulder. The weight was feather light to the touch but had a more threatening presence than a simple hand should have. Had you not thought about your answer the moment you woke here you might have been shaken but your resolve stayed firm. 

“What gave it away?” his voice was warm against your ear. You took a deep breath turning to stare at him and recited the line you practiced in your head. “Ability or not I can see it in your eyes.” you smiled before going after the others. That’s all you should say for now if you continue who knows what the consequences will be. You still had to come up with something to avoid being gunned down by Higuchi or worse killed by Akutagawa.

—

You decided that while Higuchi was leading you to the alley you would start idle chit chat. If you could convince her that you had an ability, maybe she'd feel threatened? That sounded stupid. You could just use Atsushi as a meat shield. You're not picky. "Ichiyo, do you perhaps have someone dear to you who has obscure coughing fits. I apologize if I'm being forward." You skipped alongside her fast pace. Her face shifted for a second. She never gave you her first name. "I do, it must be allergy season right?" You could almost feel the sweat drop at the possibility of the mission being compromised.

You shook your head "If their name is Ryunosuke I'm afraid it's a lung disease. My ability is random foresight but never wrong. It's not my place to say but you should make sure he gets it looked at." You smiled innocently as she was taken aback. Once you got to the threshold of the alley she announced your arrival ignoring your comment. You made sure to stand behind Atsushi knowing she wouldn't risk it. Until Akutagawa showed up, standing behind Atsushi was a good strategy.

As Akutagawa was about to attack you held up your hand and he paused, unsure if you were about to use an ability he didn’t know about. Since you were so new to the agency there wasn't any information about your level of skill. "I wouldn't do that if I were you, not unless you want to make Dazai very angry." He tensed at the mention of his former mentor. "Oh? And why is that?" He pointed a tendril to your neck drawing the slightest bit of blood.

"Because I'm the woman he's going to commit a double suicide with." You smirk knowing he wouldn't dare touch what "belongs" to Dazai. You wonder if he could hear that through the wire. Hopefully you were far enough away from Higuchi. "Very well. Don't get in the way and I'll spare your life." You backed away and watched the show. Junichiro struggled to look back at you making an attempt to glare. As subtle as you could you tried to give him a reassuring look that it was part of a plan and not you being scum. Technically you were being scum but he should cut you some slack. You weren't a fighter.

When Dazai was finished resolving the issue he bounced over to you. "So you're the woman who will commit suicide with me?" He marveled at you with a twinkle in his eyes and sarcasm on his tongue. "I mean you never actually asked but if I get to pick the cause of death, I don't see why not" You had planned for this too. On top of that you were surprised at how long it took for you to be in contention. You must look younger than you were or you could just not be his type. Who knows really when it comes to Dazai.

His eyes widened and you weren’t sure if he thought you were being serious or if he was just playing it up "Of course! What did you have in mind?"

You giggled "Old age." He didn't look amused. "Har Har. You're so proud of yourself aren't you?" He helped Naomi on to your back as he tried to figure out how to carry the boys. 

"Extremely."

<= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

[shrekisshrimpthesimp]

Liebestraum and Erwin Smith brainrot incoming

Ok but like imagine a modern AU with Erwin Smith where he is let's say a teacher/professor, living simply with his S/O and he loves to play the piano.

Every morning you are greeted with the same tune, the sound of heavenly melodies, one that sounds like love, one that sounds like a dream. 'Liebestraum' he told you was the title of the piece or 'dreams of love' in English.

'Dreams of love, huh', you thought. It truly lives up to its name. Because everytime Erwin plays it you feel like you are floating in a dream, inside a reverie with all the enchantments of love. And when you look at Erwin playing the piece, he touches the keys ever so gently and his expressions, even with eyes closed, were full of passion. Everytime Erwin plays it, you can feel his love.

And it touched you. It made your heart flutter. 'What a very sweet and grand gesture', you thought. Waking up every morning to this melody, it may be Erwin's way of saying 'I love you' first thing in the morning but in a way that is more beautiful, more heart-warming. He indeed is a very sweet man and you are so, so lucky to have him in your life.

'Dreams of love, huh' , it truly is some sort of a dream to be loved by someone like Erwin. The most gentle, passionate and ever so romantic. Living this life here with him is truly like a dream, living a life loved by Erwin Smith is a beautiful dream, one that makes you never want to wake up again.

But you never knew that you misunderstood it.

One day, while grabbing something from the storage room, a box suddenly fell. And there you saw it, a young Erwin smiling ever so gently, looking at her ever ardently. A woman you've never seen before. Erwin dated quite a number of women before but this one is someone you've never heard of Erwin speak about. And so you pick up the picture, it looked like when Erwin was a young freshman back in college. For some reason the photo exudes the kind of romance, the kind of love that happens once in a lifetime. And you turned it around. A small note and you immediately recognized Erwin's elegant handwriting.

'To my greatest love. You will always be in my heart. Life may have taken you away from me but know that my love for you will endure. And I will show it to you, I hope the heavens will allow you to hear it, when I play Liebestraum for you.

I will always love you.'

There was an aching in your heart that you could hardly bear. You knew that Erwin is a great lover, one that is capable of so much love, too bad it wasn't for you.

And you heard it once again, the what used to be a soothing sound of Liebestraum is now a haunting melody for you.

It used to be the sound of a beautiful dream, the sound of love, but now it has become the sound of a heart shattering nightmare.

'Liebestraum, huh' it truly lives up to its name. A 'dream of love'. A dream of being reunited with someone again. A dream of holding someone again. A dream of caressing someone again. A dream of kissing someone again. A dream of loving someone again. But that someone is someone else. Too bad it isn't you.

[wordpress-blaze-235671241]

The Hidden Dangers of Cigarette Smoking

Cigarette smoking represents one of the biggest health risks, and is especially dangerous because of its connection with heart attacks and strokes.  Toxic substances and tar present in tobacco smoke not only accumulate in the lungs, but travel through the bloodstream and spread throughout the body.  Tar, which is known for its carcinogenic nature, breaks down in the body, but this process is extremely slow and time-consuming.  Without adequate pharmacological treatment or help in cleaning the lungs, these harmful substances remain present in the body, continuously releasing toxic and carcinogenic substances into the bloodstream.  Long-term smokers are particularly at risk, because their lungs and blood vessels are exposed to the long-term effects of these harmful substances.  Carcinogenic substances from cigarettes do not only affect the lungs, but have a systematic effect on the whole organism.  They can cause damage to the DNA of cells, leading to the development of cancer in various parts of the body, including the lungs, throat, bladder, kidneys and other organs.  In addition, nicotine and other toxins from cigarettes cause blood vessels to narrow, increasing blood pressure and straining the heart.  This can lead to heart disease, heart attacks and strokes.  Even after quitting smoking, harmful substances remain in the body and continue to have a negative effect.  This is why it is crucial to consider pharmacological and other methods of cleansing the lungs, in order to speed up the process of eliminating toxins and reduce the risk of long-term health consequences.  Detoxification of the lungs and body can include the use of medications, inhalations, physical therapy, and lifestyle changes, including proper nutrition and regular exercise.  Quitting smoking is the first and most important step towards recovery, but support in removing the accumulation of toxic substances from the body is equally important.  Daily exposure to carcinogenic substances from cigarettes can have lasting effects, so taking care of the lungs and the whole body is essential to reduce the risk of serious diseases.

Source: The Hidden Dangers of Cigarette Smoking

[angelssdecay]

Why Xiao isn’t just some edgelord, an essay by yours truly (or: I need sleep)

Before you read!! 

This was mainly written because I kind of got tired of Xiao being labelled as ‘edgelord’ a lot of times and while I have nothing against it when it’s jokingly said (after all I call Childe a ‘clown’ all the time or Klee ‘Arson child’ haha, you get what I mean) I also feel like him getting meme’d as that leads to a lot of mischaracterization. I’m not here to attack anyone or anything!! Just sharing my personal thoughts about him influenced by his canon lore in game + headcanons I developed while writing fics for him. I hope you don’t mind my brainrot.

-            I suppose that a lot of Xiao’s characterization as an ‘edgelord’ comes from his wildly dark history and the way he expresses himself (like growling when he’s thinking about his past memories) that is quite different from other characters in Genshin when he’s not like this because he wants to but because he’s been shaped by his trauma that reaches wide into the past and the fact that he doesn’t belong in the human world   -          he is stuck in the mortal world while having to defend it from otherworldly beings and forces that threaten to destroy the fragile balance between both worlds, and it’s a task he fulfils with pride because it was given to him by Rex Lapis, the god who saved him from his former master – 

-          an evil deity who had abused and used him and forced him to commit atrocities that still haunt him to this day; he never wanted to kill, he never wanted to have to take away someone’s dreams but he was helpless to resist and in the end he stained his hands with so much more blood than he ever wanted to   -          taking his trauma and the way he talks about it and labelling it as ‘edgy’ is plain disregarding towards the pain he went through in his early years when his innocence was stolen from him and then utterly destroyed until Rex Lapis saved him and gave him his life back, a duty he can be proud of and the chance to regain a bit of his former gentleness because that’s who he is deep inside: a kind and gentle soul that never wants to hurt anyone

  -          not to mention the trauma he experienced by having to watch the only family he ever had, the other Yakshas, perish one after another – whether it was because they were consumed by the darkness they fought and killed one another or because they died in battle – he wasn’t able to save any of them and while it’s never talked about in-game lore I doubt that their deaths didn’t leave a mark on him that lasts till today. To be heralded as the last Yaksha is surely not a title that Xiao is proud or happy about.   -          to get to his character trait of him usually keeping his sentences curt and to the point (like his good morning line ‘’We're wasting time. Let's go.’’) and him growling when he thinks about his sorrowful past that probably made people label him as edgy – does it really surprise anyone that he doesn’t talk like humans from Teyvat talk when he’s a) not human and b) has spent almost all of his life in solitude?   -          which would obviously lead to him being extremely used to dealing with emotions and humans; despite having such a kind and selfless heart (more to that later) but he’s just not used to conversing with humans - mainly because Adepti need to keep their distance from humans lest their adeptal energy will harm them   -          when Xiao kept his distance from humans all these years, it was for their own good (something he says during the first meeting with the traveller and something I think he firmly believes in because past encounters with humans never went well for them and again, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and certainly not humans)   -          and while he’s gotten used to living in solitude I don’t think he actually enjoys having to live like this – he’s incredibly lonely and suffers from it - and just like every living being he longs to have someone to talk to and who understands him, even appreciates him although this is something he wouldn’t dare to wish for because it’s something that can’t be fulfilled (Lumine: sikes you thought you can stay alone forever, yeah too bad for you I’m here for you now)   -          it was stated in the article about Xiao and his creation process how curious he is about the human world despite trying to hide it from others (and himself too because longing for something you can’t have or take part in hurts like hell and god knows he’s experienced enough in his life) -  but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t yearn to experience those feelings of warmth and love that most humans as well   -          and when I say love I don’t necessarily mean romantic love although I don’t count it impossible for him (though it would take a long time for him to break down his own walls and find the courage to love and be hurt, and I think abrupt love confessions would frighten him because he simply never experienced it before – a life of bloodshed and battle certainly don’t help with understanding his own or other hearts)   -          no, what I mean are the different kinds of love he’s seen humans share with each other – a mother’s love when she puts her child to bed with a goodnight kiss, a friend’s platonic love when they hug their friend who’s sad or simply out of joy – it’s all things he never got to experience for himself but secretly longs to experience as well (fight me on that because I’ll die on that hill)   -          and this also leads to me firmly believing that he doesn’t hate humans no matter how often he ‘mocks’ traditions and customs – it’s mainly to hide his own curiosity and longing to join them knowing that he doesn’t belong with humans. But he certainly doesn’t hate them no matter his words because you can’t guard and protect someone without loving and caring for them. If he truly despised humans he would have never risked his life and soul for as long as he has to protect them.   -          and he knows that he will never receive any gratitude for the suffering he endures, nor that anyone will pray to him, or even pray for him to come home from battle safely – all he has left by now is himself and his duty he proudly continues to fulfil to honour his fallen comrades and his contract with Zhongli – and yet he keeps fighting such a thankless and seemingly endless battle without any complaints or lamenting his cruel fate; if that isn’t kindness then I really don’t know anymore   -          not to mention that if he truly was an ‘edgelord’ he’d be lamenting his cruel fate or curse at everything for forcing him to live such a life devoid of any warmth and joy – but he doesn’t. Because no one survives thousands of years with a heart full of hatred and no one understands that better than him who has fought against the lingering wrath and hatred of fallen gods.   -          and while Xiao himself doesn’t believe that he is kind (after all both his hands and soul are stained by blood, he’s nothing more but a weapon or so he would say if someone told him he’s kind) it’s his selfless and devoted nature and his love for the simple things in life – a nice dish of Almond Tofu, flowers, the soft tunes of a flute - that make him such a gentle soul – he just doesn’t realize nor acknowledges that part of himself   -          so if someone loves him they have to love all the cracks in his soul and try to pour their light into them, be patient with him because it will take him a very long time to get used to all these feelings, to the reassurance that he is loved and also deserves to be loved, after all this is so foreign to him and very likely to frighten him but in return he will love unconditionally and be forever loyal as he is loyal to the land he continues to protect 

...and what more could anyone ask for, right?

[teddybasmanov]

I Know Those Eyes: Prince Pharos and his listener season two

Time for more Pharos angst because I can't keep it inside of me anymore.

Going to tag the two Hollow_VA people (no obligation to interact with the post or anything, obviously): @this-file-has-been-redacted and @asmrtist-brainrot

TW: mentions of death and soul magic (?), nothing is detailed. Spoilers for the second season of Pharos (the Fallen Prince).

Okay, so for the second season I have two options and both of them obviously include the original listener, not because I got jealous or bitter at Hollow for killing them (even though I kind of did get upset), but because I think they have such an interesting and complex story and dynamic with Pharos from the first season that completely abandoning it in favour of a redemption arc with a new love interest sounds unfair.

So version one, almost fluffy, compared to everything else:

The new listener was born without a soul. In their mountain tribe that happens sometimes, but not very often. I'm borrowing the concept from "Pillars of Eternity", but unlike in the game, here it's not seen a tragedy and the soulless person is just left to live their boring life. The community cares for them, but not much - just enough for them to survive. Basically, since they don't have a soul their body is vacant for any other soul to take it (as it was in the game, however, it wasn't that simple, but not the point here).

So, around their late teens they get badly sick - soul or not you can still catch a cold - and when everyone thinks that their end has come, they jolt awake from their fever with an intelligent expression in their eyes for the first time in their life. Somewhere not that far away in a secluded cabin an exiled Emperor falls on his knees in front of the bad where his beloved was just a moment ago suffering from their illness and now is lying completely lifeless.

About a dozen years later they get lost in the mountains, lose consciousness from the cold and wake up in the above-mentioned cabin. At first, everything goes pretty much the same. Then an early winter sunset hits their cheek through the window and Pharos loses what he was saying because it awakens something in him. Something he had deemed long forgotten. And then:

"Haunting is a good way to kill time, time and goats."

"Back in the day, you preferred deer, your imperial majesty."

He looks at their such unfamiliar face but in their such dear eyes.

They remembered him when they saw his eye and heard him speak but wanted to be sure that it was him. Their memory is still fuzzy (and they are still feverish) but they remember the major things. And they definitely remember that he loves them.

And they live happily ever after, let's get to the angst, shall we?

Version two, actually angsty:

For this one the new listener is not important at all - they can freeze to death in the mountains, for all I bloody care.

Basically, the original listener comes back as a ghost to haunt Pharos and here I'm subjecting you to some song lyrics which fit so well, that I can't believe it. (Edmond would be the listener and Mercédès would be Pharos)

[Mercédès]

My God, my heart beats faster!

And my mind is racing

Could it be...?

Could it be that you've come back to life?

I know those eyes, following me

Dark and familiar, and deep as the sea

I know that face, strange though it seems

Younger and kinder, it haunts all my dreams

How can you stand there, a whisper from me?

Yet somehow, be so far away?

In eyes once familiar, a stranger I see

With so many words left to say

[Edmond]

This man is dead, he is no more

He died a little each day

Like a thief, the Château d'If has stolen him away

The mind plays tricks

You are confused

The man you seek is long gone

Dead and cold

A story told, by those he trusted,

those he loved, and those who then...

moved on

[Edmond] [Mercédès]

I am a ghost, just a mirage There in that voice...

Who chases traces of you Traces of you...

[Mercédès]

Dark and familiar, and deep as the sea

[Edmond] [Mercédès]

This man is dead, he is no more I know those eyes...

And though it's torturing me Torturing me

[Both]

Can either of us really ever be free?

How can you stand there a whisper from me...?

When you are still so far away?

And why does the truth seem too hard to be true?

With so much broken...

[Edmond]

And so much damage

[Both]

There are no words

[Edmond]

Left to say...

Do I need to explain anything else? They come back and they both still have feelings for each other, but they've been dead for so long. And they think that he moved on. And he feels like he doesn't know them anymore. He felt it while they were alive too, because of how everything changed when they ran away and he learned the truth and they didn't need to keep the facade in front of him anymore. But they're still so hung up on each other.

Maybe they'll talk it through and yet again live happily ever after just in such an odd form. Or maybe they'd drive him crazy. Again. I don't know.

(The only bit that doesn't seem to fit is about the castle, but if we couple it with my previous headcanon, we might suppose that they think - they died way back when in their prison cell and that's just what was left of them.)

[weepinglevi]

whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?

first off: pls know that if you're not listed here it doesn't mean i don't like you or your work, it simply means that i have a pea sized brain. love all of u. keep on writing. i really don't want anyone to feel bad (ask nia, i've been crying to her about it).

secondly: i'm not referring to them as my "favourite" cos i can't pick favourites, never really could. maybe that's why i'm simping for so many aot men at once ahaha.

and last but not least: this is going to be a long post so i'mma do all of us the favour and put it under the cut. i feel very soft today and have been listening to the titanic soundtrack for the better half of my day. bear with me, i'mma shower you with love. go check them out!

CHECK THE DNI TAGS ON THESE BLOGS BEFORE READING OR FOLLOWING, PLEASE!

this is in no particular order.

@kojinnie: my queen of angst. the other half of the princess-duo (i came to the conclusion that we're both princesses, we deserve to hang around in pretty dresses and have the time of our lives). especially dream me home still haunts my dreams. i love how you captured the pain and fear both of them feel. and i kind of view it as the start of our friendship, what with both of us writing about the mission to retake wall maria and you jumping into my dms after the fact. love you, kojin, and i only wish you the best.

@starrynightlys: shield-maiden claire. beautiful, talented, funny claire. i love you and i am so happy to have found you here, i really am. i know i've told you this multiple times but whenever i see you on my dash - either fighting off the floch anon or you posting memes, there's a big fat grin on my face. apart from your absolutely mesmerising presence, there's also one work in particular i always come back to: the beginning of forever. you are my source of happy levi content. when the world turns dark and i want him to be happy, i turn to this fic and to your blog in general. love you and i am dreaming of us listening to some good music in a park sometime soon!

@snkslush: luv! my first tumblr wife! this alone has gotten you a very special place in my heart ahah. i love the energy you have - whenever i see you on my dash i feel happy and it's because of how you interact with others. it's like i've known you since forever because of how easily i can talk to you. and reading your filthy thoughts about connie has set off my connie brainrot more than once ahaha.

your headcanons on how the aot boys react when their s/o tells them they want to be railed and also the follow-up still has me drooling. fucking love them. so accurate as well and i'm a slut for everyone ahha

@aotwrites: my lil sunflower. lil sis, you have no idea how happy you truly make me. i love the lil talks we have and i still remember the message you sent me when you were half-asleep, i always giggle when reading it ahah. just know that if you ever want, you can come up to me and ask me weird stuff lil sisters normally ask their bigger sisters. not that i have any good advice to give, but i have a lot of reaction pics to send!

it's very hard for me to pick out one of your fics to recommend - like i said, i have a problem with choosing favourites. but if i absolutely had to, it'd be all of the stars. cried my way through it. will cry again when i reread it. i cry a lot in general.

@arumiee: mars, i know we haven't talked much but our conversation about nurse!armin yesterday is still running around in my head. i can't wait to read about either armin or eren in scrubs, istg. you're so kind and happy-go-lucky, i usually feel nervous when tagging someone on a post but with you yesterday? no problem at all. you give me a sense of safety ahaha (pls don't think i'm weird, i'm actually not. or, yes, i am but in a good way). your purify me had me wanting to take a bath in holy water after reading it. preferably a bath with eren. i guess we're both headed to hell ahaha

@odmlevis: rizrizrizrizriz. i'm laughing right now because all i think of is our last conversation and it's hard to gather my thoughts whenever my mind goes to eren and reiner. or eren and jean - or jean and connie ahaha. i'll have all of them with me in the middle, pretty please.

but back to topic: your the most hurtful things they'd say to you still has my heart breaking. absolutely broken into pieces. because somehow you managed to put all of my worst fears into it. i don't know why i reread it on the regular (i do know, i'm a sucker for pain). other than that, i'm always so happy when i read your messages and when i see you out and about, making others happy with your lil "someone told me to tell you something"-thing you do so often. you're so precious, lemme smooch you.

@onyxoverride: onyx istg your blog is the place i go to if i am down bad. down bad bad. i know we rarely talk and me saying your blog is the place i take my horniness to might come off as weird but it's the truth. i even have problems with picking a favourite because goddamn they're all so good?? what is your secret? if there's a reason for me to go to hell (other than mars' purify me) it's gonna be because of ocean spit. do i have to elaborate further? eren's titan form is fucking hot and thank you for this delicious meal ahha. i am getting all flustered rn just by looking at the lil pic on top of your fic. i will see myself out now. love u onyx you are cool as hell (and i'm nervous as fuck - you're sitting at the cool kids' table in my head ahah - that's why i am so silent around u)

@1252291: and now to you. connie 2 my sasha. erwin smiths ball whore. twIN FLAME, LIGHT OF MY LIFE. buckle up cos we're in for a wild ride. i was debating whether or not to post every of your fics here, because i love all of them so much. i came up with a better idea tho: here's your masterlist. i will talk about two of your works in particular later on, but first you're gonna have to endure me violently showering you with kisses and love.

i haven't told you this before (shocking, i know) but ever since we started talking, i feel like i have a real-life friend again. i haven't had friends in a while and i am so fucking thankful to have you. i really am. i even told my therapist about you because he asked why i am so happy all of a sudden? newsflash: it's because of you.

usually, it was insomnia keeping me up at night but now it's because i am talking to you. and you have no idea how fucking great it feels to wake up in the morning and feel tired; not because some shitty thoughts kept me awake but because i was talking to a friend. i will forever love you for this. you've been there when i was at one of the darkest and loneliest stages of my life and lit up the fucking room with your personality and humour. thank you for being my light. for giving me the same feeling i have when rewatching lord of the rings. for being you. i will stop now but you know i will keep on loving you on main until i take my last breath.

now to your works. falling in love and stay forever. i think you already knew that these are the ones i hold dearest. i still think about felix and rue. i love felix and rue and my heart hurts when thinking of them. your way with words has characters coming to life and touching your heart in a way i've never experienced before. like i said, it felt like those are my friend who died. my fingers running through levi's hair, trying to make his endless pain go away. i am crying again. thank you for creating this. if you ever find the books you've written (or write a new one) i will buy a copy. or ten. have to have some to give away so i can promote your work.

i love u connie 2 my sasha. i really do.

[crescentsteel]

Imagination

plot: Halloween with Kiyoomi Sakusa genre: fluff, crack  warnings: sorta creepy wc: 6.3k (went a bit overboard sorry lol)

A/N: - This is collab from our server @babythotshq. See others spoofy stories from our server here.   - I’m posting another halloween fic later, sum Semi fluff. lmk if u wanna be tagged - Thank you so much @newfriendjen for the betaread and @aomineavenue for that idea u gave me ehe - Sakusa brainrot

Nothing beats the spirit of Halloween, the best holiday ever invented. Ghost stories, people in costumes, haunted houses, scary movies, everything about this holiday — you love and welcome them all. Last year, your Halloween adventure was you and your friends trying to make a documentary (actually it was just you hogging the camera and tripping your friends that you’re seeing apparitions) in an abandoned building.

But the highlight of that Halloween wasn’t that. It was meeting Sakusa. Albeit how sweet that sounds, the whole of it was honestly ridiculous. 

A year ago, you and your coworkers agreed to join the Halloween party at the club near your office. You drew lots on what will be the theme of each person’s costume in the office. The person whose costume fits their theme the most gets a prize. When you got “something unexpected” at the draw, you were thrilled at all the possibilities your imagination could think of. 

But then work fucked you up until you barely had any time left. You only had less than 48 hours to come up with an award-winning costume. As you’re scrunching for your work deadlines, you look around for possible costume inspirations. And voila, your eyes landed on that certain object near your monitor. 

You laughed your head off when you pictured what you’d look like.  

At the club at the night of the Halloween party, it was expected to have most people in costume. No one gave anyone a second look for being all dressed up. 

Except for you.

When you entered the bar, people were staring. You made your way to your colleagues, uttering your excuse mes and sorrys to the people you bumped. Once your officemates saw you, they guffawed simultaneously. You were wearing white boots, surgical , a light blue long-sleeve top, and black short shorts. On top of the long-sleeve top and shorts was a white box hanging inches just below your thighs which made it look like a box dress. Printed on the front of the box dress was “GERMINATOR. Kill 99.9% germs” complete with its logo. At the back of it was the product’s information. It even had an improvised pump on your head. On your bare thighs was a holster holding sanitizers instead of guns. 

You twirled in front of your colleagues and they all gave you a round of applause.

You were so stressed out with work that you drank your heart out before the party even began to reach its peak. Your nearing drunk ass was letting loose when your back collided with someone and you nearly tripped. 

It was a guy with white streaks on his hair that was held up by gel or wax. He gasped as he took in your appearance. “Miss! Please come with me.” The guy didn’t really give you a choice when he grabbed your wrist and dragged your tipsy self to wherever. 

“Omi-kun! I brought you someone.” He said while he hid you behind him.

“Really, Bo-kun? You think he’d be interested in anyone from here?” You heard someone say despite the noise. The guy who just hauled you there moved away to reveal that certain someone, aka you. You went with the flow and gave them a curtsy while your vision started to sway a bit. 

You easily distinguished who he’s with since they’re all wearing the same yellow jacket. “What are you s’ppsed to be? A boy band or somethin?” you asked but no one answered.

You are met with different reactions. Two of them dropped their jaws. One had a wide smile on his face, obviously proud of finding you. Then, there was this guy you couldn’t make out because he was wearing a face mask. After recovering from their shock, the three men looked at the one who wore a face mask. 

The guy with white streaks turned to you and said, “I’m Bokuto,” referring to himself. “That’s Hinata,” he pointed out to the shortest guy in orange hair. “Miya, “ the blonde one said, then grabs the face masked-guy who has a stiff frown on his half-visible face. “And this,” he pushed the face-mask man in front of you, “is Sakusa.” Everyone looked so entertained and so amused, except for the one directly in front of you. But you don’t acknowledge the somber aura coming from him. You like being the source of entertainment, especially for this event. 

“Oh you unsanitary boys! You can call me,” you grab two sanitizers dramatically from your holster and pose like a sailor scout, except weirder. You couldn’t even tell how you exactly posed your arms in the air, you just let the alcohol do the work. As a finishing touch to the pose, you winked and announced, “Germinator-chan!!!”

At that, Miya spilled the drink he was about to take while Bokuto put his hands on his hips as they both laughed uncontrollably. Hinata walked beside …  what was his name again? You’ll just continue calling him face-mask man. “You look so cool, Germinator-chan!!” Hinata beamed at you while scanning your whole look. “We should’ve dressed up as well,” he added with a slight pout. 

Ah. Sakusa it was.  

Miya ,who was still laughing his heart out, put an arm around Sakusa, “My, my, Omi-kun,” he paused to chuckle, “We’ve found yer dream girl!” Sakusa tried to shrug Miya’s arm off of his shoulder. “Please don’t touch me.”

Bokuto came closer as well and spoke to Sakusa, “Are you still leaving? Germinator-chan can keep you clean.”

“Of course I’m still leaving. I shouldn’t even have come in this germ-infested place” he said and was about to saunter off towards the exit. Before he could even pass you by, you block his path and extend your arms. 

“Germ, you say? I got you,” you said while you poised your sanitizers in place, ready to give him some if he extends his hands to you. You find no shame in how flippant you seemed. This is what Halloween parties are all about. You, yourself, are having fun even if you don’t entirely grasp why they’re teasing the guy. He probably has a cold and wants to avoid too many people.

You weren’t expecting it, but Sakusa held out his hands. You thought he was just going to ignore your antics because he seemed annoyed. You heard him mumble something, but because of the music and his face mask, you didn’t hear it. 

“Sorry, what?!” 

He comes a bit closer, close enough for you to notice how he’s not as serious as he was before. More so, he looked pleased. Since half of his face is covered, all your attention went to his eyes, and at this proximity, you became aware how pretty they actually looked. Or maybe you’re already drunk and he’s just too close. 

“Thanks, miss,” he uttered softly. 

“BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! You’re perfect for each other!” Bokuto’s laugh drew your attention away from Sakusa. 

“Before you leave, Omi-san. Can we take pictures with you, Germinator-chan?” Hinata asks with his phone already on his hand. 

“Ah yes yes, Shoyo-kun. Clever idea.” The Miya guy said with a widespread grin on his face. Once again, they all gathered around Sakusa. You joined them with silly poses as they took several selfies with you. The three of them were obviously having fun while Sakusa’s expression was the same in all the photos. Even with the face mask, you could tell. He’s pissed. As soon as they put the phone down, he was on the move again. 

“Wait, Omi-kun!” Miya stopped him once more. Sakusa looked like a vein was gonna pop on his temple. Maybe you just imagined him being pleasant a while ago. 

“We’re letting ya leave, don’t worry.” Miya smirked prior to adding, “after ya take pictures with Germinator-chan.” You see Sakusa’s shoulders slump in defeat. But you didn’t feel bad for him at all. In fact, you also wanted to keep on teasing him. 

As they snap pictures, you kept on doing superhero poses with your costume. Sakusa’s impassiveness doesn’t bother you one bit. You kept on flailing around him while they took pictures. When they had their fill, they said their goodbyes as Sakusa walked away without even looking back.

“Byeee. Stay germ-free!” You half-shouted as he already gained some distance away from you and the three men. When he reached the exit, you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned on your heel and saw Miya offering you a drink. “You, Germinator-chan, are fucking awesome.” The three boys wore big smiles on their faces which you reciprocated. You bowed as acknowledgment to the compliment and took the offered liquor. You gulped a significant amount before excusing yourself “Bye boyysss.” You head back to your coworkers, faltering on every step of the way.

Two days after that Halloween party, life went on. You regret drinking so much that night. You barfed like crazy when you got home and you had a massive hangover the morning after so you had to take the following day off. Since everyone in your office knew why you had to be absent the previous day, they made you do additional work that day.

You’re a Lifestyle writer, but the Sports department needed another person today. They weren’t able to do the interview for some players the week before so you’re needed to do the last set of interviews. You don’t really know anything Sports-related. They just gave you a list of the people you’re going to interview and the questionnaire for them to answer. The most you could do is follow up on their answers. You looked at the names to be interviewed. 

Shion Inunaki

Kiyoomi Sakusa

Shoyo Hinata

You don’t know why, but the names were awfully familiar. You shrugged it off. Maybe you just saw some articles about them from the Sports department. 

You arrived at the gymnasium and went straight to their manager, stating that you were scheduled there to interview some players for your magazine. You took your seat at the sides and waited. The first interview with Inunaki went smoothly. When you’re done with him, he called the next guy and got back to their practice. 

Upon seeing the next interviewee, you stare intently at him for he looked incredibly familiar, you just had to remember where you met him. Black, curly hair that framed his face nicely. Two moles located right above his right eyebrow. Sharp, serious eyes. But something’s off. Something at the back of your head knows that you’ve seen his face, but something’s amiss. 

Face mask. He wasn’t wearing his face mask. 

Sakusa. 

Drunken memories came rushing down to your sober mind. You even heard your frilly voice saying Germinator-chan!! 

You looked down and fixed your glasses as an attempt to hide your face. You cleared your throat and deepened your talking voice so that he wouldn’t perceive any resemblance you may have with what you looked like two nights ago. 

You started the interview and took down notes more keenly than you should, just so you wouldn’t meet his gaze. From your peripheral, you saw him trying to get a better look at your face. 

“Excuse me, have we met somewhere?” he said after answering a question from your list. You smile thriftly and shake your head. “I don’t think so.” He didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t press on.

‘Kami-sama, I swear to take care of myself and not contaminate my precious body with alcohol. Just let me go through this unnoticed. I’m begging you,’ you prayed silently.

Fortunately, the interview ended with Sakusa not figuring out who you were. When the last interviewee sat down, a pair of bright hazel eyes stared at you with glee. 

“GERMINATOR-CHAN!” Hinata yelled while pointing at you happily. It echoed in the whole gymnasium and how awfully lucky you were, everyone was on break. You felt everyone’s eyes on you. Not long after, you’re crowded by not only the four boys you met that fateful night, but everyone else in the team. 

“Wow. This is the Germinator-chan?” A player you didn’t know asked. 

Apparently, Miya shared the pictures to every single one on the team. Inunaki joined their fun and tapped the back of Sakusa. “Real nice, Sakusa-san!” You heard a familiar voice and found Miya beside Sakusa. “Well, well, Omi-kun. Her alter-ego’s real pretty.” The taunts were focused on Sakusa, but you felt like sinking on your seat that moment.

“Um!!” You got all their attention. “Sorry, but can I finish my interview with Hinata-kun first?” You smiled as professionally and as nice as you could. They all uttered light apologies and dispersed back on the court. You resumed with the interview as fast as you could. You thanked Hinata and their manager and semi-sprinted out of the court when you had the chance. No way you’re gonna get hounded by any MSBY member again. 

The exit was just a few steps away and finally, you can rest easy. You let out a breath of relief when you reached outside with no problem. 

“Germinator-chan.”

You yelp from the sudden voice behind you. You slowly turn around to confirm if it was who you thought it was. And behold, it really was Sakusa Kiyoomi. You twiddled with your fingers while thinking of what you should say. You didn’t want to apologize for your behavior the other night. You liked having fun and going crazy. You saw nothing wrong with that. You didn’t do anything inappropriate. It’s just that you didn’t think you’d see any of those men right when you’re working.

He walked towards you until you were face to face. Without his face mask, you end up staring at his whole profile that was partially hidden that night. He must’ve been really sick to want to cover such an attractive face.

“What brand of sanitizer did you use?” You blink twice from the confusion. “What?” you ask dumbfoundedly. “That night. The sanitizer you gave me felt nice. Did it have 70% isopropyl alcohol?” You couldn’t tell if he was just messing with you cause his face is dead serious. That’s when you figured it out.. The face mask, the early escape from the crowd, attention to disinfectant — he was a clean freak. 

“Umm. I-Uh.. I’m not really sure. I didn’t really check,” you said, then laughed nervously. 

“Do you want some recommendations?” 

“Huh?” You felt like an idiot for not fully grasping what he was talking about. If you weren’t staring so hard, you wouldn’t have noticed it, but something broke his stoic expression when his eyes averted your gaze for a second. He looked a bit unsure. 

“I can help you choose a good sanitizer...and stuff.”

The smile that broke in your face was wide and it hurt your cheeks. You’ve been asked out several times, but that. That was unlike any other you’ve ever heard. It was so weird. It was the kind of weird that appeared so charming to you.

You just had to go out with him. 

A year after that, you find yourself in his apartment to celebrate Halloween. Originally, you wanted to go to that Halloween party again, but no matter how much you pouted, begged, and pestered him, the answer was a big, fat no. 

This is your most-awaited holiday of the year. There’s no way you’re missing out on Halloween activities with him. So days prior to this, you brainstormed on what activities you could do with him.

Haunted House? Dirty.  Abandoned buildings? Dirtier.  Street Parties? Crowded. Ouija Board? You’re scared something will actually happen.  Zombie run? Dirty and crowded.

You almost gave up until you remembered your vast collection of untouched horror movies, documentaries, and series that you didn’t have the time to watch because of work. You instantly texted Sakusa if that was okay with him. 

Okay

You’ve never been so glad to read a four-lettered text after receiving a constant n-o, no to all your suggestions. Finally. FINALLY, you came up with something you two could do. 

Halloween weekend came and you both decided on Sakusa’s apartment to do the movie marathon. You keep shifting in your seat from excitement. Tonight, you get the opportunity to watch some of your hoarded horror pieces, and much better, you’re watching it with Sakusa. 

“Is there anything you’d like to watch in particular?” you ask him with your eyes still glued on the screen, browsing your bought movies. He moves closer to you and slouches so he can better see his options. 

If Sakusa will be honest, he’s not really a fan of horror. He doesn’t see the point of scaring oneself from something that is make-believe. So he’s not that enthusiastic about it.

But you were. 

If watching freakish movies makes you happy, then okay.  Out of all your ideas this year, this is the only one he can tolerate. He knows how dedicated you are in celebrating this event. Last year was already a solid proof of that.

“Don’t you get scared by watching that stuff?” He’s looking at you but your focus is on the screen as you scroll down. “I do. But that’s the point!” You squeal from excitement. He still can’t wrap his head around the whole concept, but he’s willing to indulge you. 

“Do you get scared by these?” you peel your eyes away from the TV and shift your attention to him. 

He shrugs indifferently. “Not really,”  was his answer even though he still hasn’t watched a full length horror film. He just couldn’t imagine how a fictional work could potentially frighten him. 

“Okay. Let’s go with something light since the night is still young,” you said, then clicked on some movie that he didn’t catch the title of. You huddled closer to him. You tuck your knees in and hug your legs as the movie starts. 

You’re so elated that you don’t notice the tug in the corner of his mouth as he studies your face. He asked you out on a whim because that day, he didn’t really have the time to think twice. He wasn’t sure if he’d see you again. If he’d been honest, he thought you were all over the place when he first saw you. He didn’t usually find that appealing, but he couldn’t deny that you looked so cute as Germinator-chan, especially with your eyes twinkling in glee as you offered him that sanitizer.

Even though asking you out wasn’t a well-thought of idea, he made the right decision. He didn’t need to match up to your outgoing personality. You never made him feel that he wasn’t enough or that he needed to be more than himself. He never felt pressured to make you happy because you already are with whatever he gives. You’re you and he’s him, yet your relationship is more than satisfactory for both of you.

You might have noticed him gaping at you since you suddenly turned to him and raised your  eyebrow. “What’re you staring for?” Your lips formed the cute smile he’s always adored. 

“Nothing,” he replied more quickly than he should. He takes in your smile for one good second before shifting his gaze to the screen. The movie starts with people going to the woods for their idea of fun.

‘Ew’ he thought to himself.

As the film progresses, it gets even worse. There are body parts getting dismembered. It’s so bad when someone’s arm was severed, blood splattered all over the place. He unconsciously grips your thigh to ground himself. You don’t notice this since you shrieked happily at the scene. You were even clapping your hands.

“Yeeess! Cut those arms, dude.” 

He couldn’t believe you found this fun. He couldn’t bear to look at the mutilated body parts, even if it was just on screen. He just looked away until he thought it was safe for his eyes again. That’s what he’ll do every time there’s a bloody clip.

After a while, you finally sense that his hand was clutching your thigh because of the gradual increase of force he unknowingly put behind it. 

“Kiyoomi?” You look at your boyfriend whose face is now drained of color. “Oh no. What’s wrong?!” Your full attention is now on him despite the film still rolling.

Your face is a pile of concern. A while ago, he was painfully uncomfortable in your choice of movie, but seeing your once cheery facade get all worried cause he couldn’t take the blood made him feel bad. You already adjusted your Halloween plans for him. He can at least try harder to get through this movie.

He gently shakes his head. “I’m okay. Don’t mind me. Let’s keep watching.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to do it if you’re not okay with it.” It was very like you to look out for him and adjust to him, even at your own expense. You’re easygoing, loud, fun, and everything he’s not - that included messy and clumsy. Despite that, you accepted his needs and boundaries without any qualms.

He removes his grip from your thigh and wraps his arm around you.

“I’m really fine, sweetheart.” 

Your face lights up at his endearment, completely melting away the worry you had a while ago. 

Now, he just needs to pin it on his mind that the thing isn’t real and he can survive the night. 

However, it proved to be more difficult than he imagined when the scenes keep getting messier, bloodier, and dirtier. He keeps on focusing on your entertained face to distract himself from the screams and the sound of blood splashing and gushing. 

From the short moments that he was able to glance at the screen, he can tell that the movie is reaching its climax already. He decided that he’s going to keep his eyes on the screen starting from now, just to fulfill your wish of him actually watching with you. 

A few minutes into it and he was starting to feel sick. He gets nauseous when someone's head is crushed by a rock. Unable to continue, he pulls you closer and leans his forehead on your shoulder with his eyes closed.

You immediately notice him wavering and quickly turn off the television. You cup his cheeks and brush away the curls blocking his face. He opens his eyes and looks at you weakly. 

“Sorry, we were almost done… but the blood was too much,” he confessed defeatedly. 

“No, no, no. I should’ve realized that it would make you uneasy.” You felt guilty for not figuring it out sooner. You’ve been with him for a year now. You should’ve put two and two together.

“Let’s do something else. What do you wanna do?” 

“We can watch another scary film. Just less blood.” He suggested a compromise. He won’t let you do all the adjusting this time. He’s getting fed up with himself being coddled by you all the time.

“Swear to me that you’ll let me know if it gets too much.” Your tone was serious. 

“I swear Germinator-chan,” he says monotonously but you catch the humor behind it. This is Sakusa afterall. Because you’re used to his non-expressive self, you’ve gotten used to the intricate details of how he conveys his emotion. 

You couldn’t help but smile while rolling your eyes back to the screen. You choose a more recent movie that’s a sequel to a very famous horror franchise you’ve been following. It was perfect because it was just plain creepy and scary without the gore. 

You make yourselves comfortable again. Around twenty minutes into the film, there's no one who’s body parts are missing from their bodies. You’ve been keeping an eye on him. Thankfully, it seems like he’s calmed down now that he’s leaning on the couch with the color back on his face. He looks focused on the movie that was playing. With that, you are able to relax and do the same.

The calm was short-lived though. This movie is quite distinct from the last one. The previous film was chaotic and fun (for you). Now, the room is drowning in ominous music as you wait for the next jumpscare to happen. But it doesn’t. It leaves you at the edge of your seat when you tortuously wait for it to come. The eerie background music stops without any sign of the demonic ghost showing up. You finally let out the breath you were holding in your chest. 

That is until you see something in the corner of the screen. It was hazy and it looks like it’s just part of the background. You fixate your eyes on the imagery while you feel a familiar dread rising in your throat. You want to make sure that it was nothing. You squeeze Sakusa’s knee while leaning a bit towards the screen to get a better look. 

When you find that you’re close enough, the screen completely turns black, but only for a millisecond. It pops back up to reveal the same background you were looking at earlier. Only now, the thing you were closely looking at was not there anymore. You don’t know what to expect as there’s only silence.

In a blink of an eye, the object of your focus was revealed. A woman’s face occupied the whole screen. She had blood-shot eyes wide as saucers accompanied by an inhuman grin that spread too wide, making her face look unholy. 

“SHIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!”

Your reflexes kick in. You use the hand you have on Sakusa’s knee to propel yourself and launch yourself to him. Both your hands find their way on his chest, clutching tight the fabric over it. You bury half your face on his chest and close your eyes. 

“Is she gone?” Before he even answers, you open one eye cautiously and peek at the screen to see if it was safe to look again. You see that the scene is cut to a crowd with mundane music. You exhale heavily. You loosen your grip on his shirt and look up to him with a sheepish smile.  

“I thought you’re used to this.” He remarks inquisitively while looking confused as to why you were so frightened when you were the one who suggested the horror marathon. 

“Do you watch this stuff when you’re alone?” He asked further.  

“Of course not. I live alone. I might not get any sleep if I watch some by myself.” You giggle. “And it’s more fun to watch with others.” You let go of your grip on him and go back to how you were previously sitting. 

The movie went on with several more screams from you. You begin to feel Sakusa tensing up. You notice how intense he’s leaning on the couch. It’s like he doesn’t want any space behind him from the way he pushed his back to the cushioned backrest and seized the armrest with his right limb. His other hand was holding yours rigidly. Like him, you also start to be agitated as the appearances of haunted apparitions become clearer and more frequent. 

It came to point that you were kneeling on the couch and had your arms around him. You have no control on how tight you were holding on to him. You’re pretty sure you were squishing his cheeks sometimes, but you don’t hear anything from him. He seems to be immersed in the story as well because you can feel him flinch and jerk at jumpscares. At the turning point of the movie, it was basically a screamfest held by you. 

Seems like you blew his ear off since he tugged you to sit back down. Still, he doesn’t say anything and encloses an arm around you instead. You respond accordingly and use his embrace as your cover. 

When the movie ends, you breathe a sigh of relief, which is followed by a laugh and an applause. 

“That was so good!” Your eyes are beaming brightly from satisfaction. “Right?” You turn to him to see his reaction. 

He has a faint smile on his face, then nods twice. “I didn’t expect you’d be that jumpy,” he said.  You scratch your head while laughing embarrassedly. When you settled down, you just found yourselves staring at each other. The thick restlessness from the scary film was gone, replaced by something intimately familiar to both of you. 

He makes the first move. He gently cups your cheek and lets it linger momentarily while his eyes shimmer with tenderness as they remain on yours. Some people, namely your coworkers, found it weird that someone like you is dating Sakusa. According to them, you’re a firecracker while he was a defective explosive that only lights up when playing volleyball. 

But they’re wrong. 

They just don’t know that this Sakusa in front of you exists. He has his own ways of letting you know how much he cares. They were quiet gestures that spoke loudly and exclusively for you. And yes, you are a chaotic bundle of energy, so there were many days that even you, yourself overwhelm yourself. But he gives you peace that nothing or no one else has provided you. 

So when he leans closer to capture your lips, you immediately melt to him. 

What started out as an affectionate kiss begins to heat up when he grabs your waist and pulls you closer. Then, he grazes his tongue on your lower lip before biting it gently. To hell with your coworkers. He’s nowhere near a defective explosive when he makes you burn up like this. 

You want to feel him more, so you take the lead and straddle him. You grind your hips against his crotch and cover his mouth with yours. You’re getting eager to touch his bare skin so you pull up his shirt which reveals his toned chest and abs that made you drool. Best perk of dating a pro athlete. You look down a bit to relish the sight of him topless. 

“Um. Can you tie your hair?”

“I washed my hair right before we watched. It’s clean.” You don’t look back at him and continue trailing your palm down on his abs.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” You still keep your eyes on his torso while biting your lips.

“You’re like the demon lady with your hair down like that when you look down.”

You snap your head back up and find him clearly avoiding looking at you. You try to imagine what he’s thinking - the demon lady on his lap and is about to do the nasty with him. You throw your head back and roar from laughter. 

“You have quite the imagination, you know that?” you tell him with your eyes still twinkling from amusement. 

“You looked like her for a minute,” he insisted. You click your tongue while shaking your head. “Too bad, Omi. I don’t have my hairtie with me.” You get off from his lap and sit beside him. “Let’s watch a documentary instead?” He only replies with a nod.

“Sorry.I tried, but I can’t unsee it.”

“It’s fine.” You giggle and kiss him on the cheek. “I don’t want you having nightmares of me as the demon lady.” 

You grab the remote and put on a ghost-sighting documentary while he puts on his shirt back. It fell flat compared to the other two that previously went on, but you did not change it. You gave it a chance. Maybe there’s something interesting about it.

….

Sakusa woke up with the TV already displaying its screen saver. Before he passed out, he recalls you were starting to get drowsy with your eyes hazy while leaning on his shoulder. He doesn’t remember when, but he must’ve fallen asleep.

Not realizing that there was no weight resting on him, he looked beside him.

You weren’t there. 

That was odd. If you moved to the bedroom, you would have woken him up. He blinks a few times to clear his vision before scanning the corners of this room from his seat. His only source of light was the one emanating from the screen, but that should be enough to get even just an outline of your figure.

But there was no sign of you, just the darkness engulfing the inanimate objects in the room. 

“Y/n?” He called out, but there was no response.

He grabs the remote and turns off the TV. On the slight chance that you are already in his bed, he walks to his bedroom.

The cool metal of the doorknob wakes his senses. He’s suddenly more wary of everything around him. Because he wanted to reduce the accumulation of dust in his place, he did not place any unnecessary object that can cause dirt. That made his place look spacious and wide. It was only now that he became aware of the vast empty spaces on his back.

Yet despite the seeming emptiness, it feels like something is occupying the place, lurking in the vacant arrays of his home. 

A sudden breeze grazes his nape. 

‘It’s nothing. It’s usually cold this time of the year.’ He told himself even though he could feel the chill creeping up on his spine. 

He hurriedly turns the doorknob and opens the door, only to reveal an empty bed and an empty room. You aren’t there. He’s about to shut the door when the curtains suddenly fly softly at its hems. Yeah. It’s definitely windier than usual.

He closes the door and moves towards the bathroom. The lights are off in it, but you sometimes don’t turn it on when you get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. You don’t like sudden bright lights. Although when you do that, you usually leave the door open. 

The bathroom door is shut. His hand was ready to knock when he saw a shadow from his peripheral. He wanted to ignore it, but his trained eye caught the figure. He harshly spun to see what it was. 

Nothing.

It was nothing. The deafening silence augmented the dread that was starting to consume his being. He can feel the tips of his fingers get colder, his skin prickling from goosebumps, his throat getting dryer.

“You’re just imagining things,” he uttered to himself to quell his nervousness. He enjoyed the movie earlier, but he didn’t think it would get in his head. 

He turns back around to the door and knocks three times. No answer. He knocks again, louder this time. Where the hell are you? It wasn’t like you to leave without saying anything.

He heads for the kitchen to get some water, hoping that it can erase the uneasiness on his mind and body. Then he’ll call your phone as a last resort.

When he makes his turn at the corner of the living room leading to the kitchen, his breath gets suspended in the air at the sight. 

A woman who’s looking down stood in front of him. He’s never seen something so sinister. Her black pupils occupy the whole of her eyes. Her hair is down and framed her face in a perfect V shape. 

“FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK!” His thick scream broke the stillness of his apartment while stumbling a few steps back. It was followed by the woman’s screechy wail as she looked up to him. 

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Her hair falls a few inches away from her cheeks, giving him a clearer view of her face. It was not a haunted apparition. 

It was you!  

Now that he looks closely, your eyes were actually normal. It’s just that it was so dark and your eyelids were half closed so it seemed like your eyes were a complete block of black. 

When the two of you stopped exchanging screams, it was you who recovered first. He was still frozen in place with terrified eyes. “Oh Kiyoomi.” You put your arms around him and dipped your head on the crook of his neck. Your relieved heaving quickly bubbled into tittering as you realized how stupid you two must’ve seemed. 

You put a gentle hand on his face and looked at him. He’s still a bit shaken, but he meets your gaze. “I called for you. Why didn’t you answer?”

“I got a voice call from one of my editors so I was listening intently.”

“Why here?”

“I was getting water when I opened the message.”

“Were you in the living room just now?”

You frown at him. “No…. well actually, maybe? I was spaced out while walking when I realized I didn’t really get the water I came for. So I immediately went back to the kitchen.”

The breath he exhales is deep, but you feel his shoulders loosen up from it. “You didn’t even see that TV was already off and I wasn’t there anymore?” His tone was a bit irritated.

“I was preoccupied with what my editor said.” You pout. 

His demeanor softens up. He takes your hand off from his cheek and holds it tenderly.  “Let’s just get to bed already.” 

When you two lie down, you’re surprised that he’s spooning you. He never does. He doesn’t like your hair touching his face, even though you tell him that you’ve thoroughly cleaned it. Usually, you are the big spoon, which was weird because he’s way too huge for you, or you position yourself a bit lower so that your cheeks are on his chest and you aren’t obstructing his face.

“Next year, let’s go to that Halloween party instead. I’ll dress up in a PPE so no one touches me.“ He says in your ear while his arm snakes around your waist.

“Hmm. I dunno. I quite like this to be honest.” You hold the arm he has around you and snuggled closer. Yep. You’d rather have this.

Taglist:  @shinhiromi @elianetsantana @moonlightaangel @vicassa @shrimpypenis​ @sunshine-hina​ @isentsworld​ @kozupresh​ @humanitysbiggestsimp​ @omibaby​ @atsumubabe​ @sachirou-senpai​

[an-echos-thoughts]

Master post of all my aus so you and I can easily find them. If you want to see more about a specific one feel free to send an ask otherwise I probably will forget about them until a sporadic stroke of inspiration comes along.

#Watchers Three au

Joe hills, Zedaph, and Grian are all Watchers. Each of them are a different type of watcher and through reasons end up acting as rulers of hermitcraft and its previous worlds.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641411763332677632/watchers-what-are-they-are-they-gods-that-rule

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641232081839652864/watcher-grian-has-always-been-a-fun-thing-to

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641414034207506432/three-watchers-reside-on-the-hermitcraft-server

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642762608659906560/non-traditional-sight-keralis-he-doesnt-see-the

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644074168509513728/ok-so-in-the-watchers-three-au-grian-zedaph

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643401758982438912/hey-so-you-know-your-watcher-three-au-and-how

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643938784911720448/watchers-three-au-how-does-zedaph-learn-that

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643489155608920064/so-in-the-watchers-three-au-how-well-known-are

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644222259461013504/i-love-your-watchers-three-au-i-kinda-wanna-know

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643651425691369472/just-gotta-say-i-love-the-watchers-three-au-will

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644758266518405120/so-with-the-watchers-three-au-im-thinking-that

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645028038801817600/you-know-how-after-the-hermits-are-done-with-a

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641592155150991360/tango-with-hearts-in-his-eyes-zedaph-are-you-an

#Techno Raises Fundy au

Wilbur in grief after Sally died/left gives Fundy to Techno to raise as he has a stable income and he himself is a shapeshifter like Fundy.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641497891918249984/am-i-wrong-to-want-some-techno-and-fundy-soft

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641533081696829440/raising-a-child-was-unsurprisingly-hard-techno

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641930204997189632/the-child-was-clinging-to-him-and-sobbing

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641938466763161600/so-you-know-your-techno-raises-fundy-au-tho-i

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642946900056784896/because-i-cant-stop-thinking-if-angst-anons-ask

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643650062282539008/thinking-ab-in-the-techno-raises-fundy-au-what

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643580405255192576/fundys-first-word-was-tno-techno-didnt

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643838792338489344/fundys-trans-in-the-fundy-raises-techno-au-right

#Two Birds of a Feather au

Grian was chosen by the Watchers to replace their third, who happens to be philza. After ending up in hermitcraft he heals, but ends up meeting philza later who never even knew he existed. A version exists where where TBoaF is the prequel to Bodyswap.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643937541431689216/from-the-beginning-grian-knew-he-was-a-replacement

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644038327351345152/grian-meeting-phil-in-two-birds-of-a-feather-and

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644051215869788160/hi-i-just-read-your-thing-where-grian-is

#The Bodyswap au

Grian and Techno swap bodies. Each has to deal with the other's life and the fallout if their previous actions. Two versions currently exist, the soulmate body swap and the angst oops my powers acted up and now I think I stole your son's body and killed him in the process.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643760575577522176/new-au-grian-ends-up-switching-bodies-with-techno

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643842074989477888/so-the-bodyswap-au-yea-what-if-you-said

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644224321720598528/okay-so-its-time-for-that-angsty-grian-backstory

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644851587803758592/for-some-reason-i-want-to-smush-together-your

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645484421514919936/some-shenanigans-for-the-body-swap-au-that-could

#Hermit Eret au

Eret becomes a hermit and is adopted by mama Stress. A chill au cause Eret deserves some love and free hermit therapy.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641721013259960321/i-love-dsmp-kiddos-becoming-hermit-kiddos-and

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643585815774150656/for-eret-i-think-they-would-vibe-most-with-stress

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641773341865361408/i-would-love-to-hear-your-thoughts-on-hermit

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644203483730509824/that-is-an-excellent-headcanon-one-that-i-whole

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642130375115767808/hermiteret-brainrot-time-he-is-the-baby-of

#Demi-god Ranboo au

Ranboo ends up in Hermitcraft, the home of runners and exiles, and Xisuma and their fiance Etho ends up adopting them. Angst and the hermits taking care of their new merchants and child.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643219936828964864/hermitcraft-is-the-home-of-exiles-and-runners-you

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643309661409378304/because-the-lovely-taryk-asked-more-of-my

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643403206393741312/while-ranboo-is-safe-in-hermitcraft-for-now-back

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643870134779412480/the-ranboo-awakening-for-my-demi-god-ranboo-au

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643858168654512128/unfortunately-mcc-does-not-exist-in-this-au

#Zedeath's Angel au

Zedaph is Death and adopts little ghostinnit as his new son and future angle of death. Philza panics on the background because he is a workaholic that just got forcefully retired after a couple millennia.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644554480384360448/usually-i-try-and-stay-away-from-creating-a-hermit

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644567784750186496/sorry-for-how-messy-these-thoughts-are-might-clean

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644613020193046528/the-interaction-between-dream-and-zedeath-for-my

#Hermit Mom au

Ghostbur remembers his adventurer mom that promised to always come back to him. Only oneday she left and never came back. Too bad amnesia after death runs in the family and ZombieCleo has no interest in prying into the life of AliveCleo.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642402359505469440/ghostbur-remembers-not-what-he-tells-the-others

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642587045973426176/cleo-doesnt-remember-much-from-before-joe-brought

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642673661150724096/cleo-refrained-from-asking-about-humancleo-she

#Demon Dadpulse au

Impluse was Sapnap's demon dad after his moms died. Sadly both think the other is dead after an unfortunately timed summoning ritual.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644668742050168832/and-just-as-i-say-i-want-to-work-on-one-of-my-aus

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644486533411389440/zit-as-the-recent-conversation-between-me-and-my

#Bdubs Bloodvines au

The vines in the jungle in s5 of hc was an young Egg. Bdubs managed to break free from its control and it could never grow strong. Now Bdubs is trapped in Dsmp and has to survive until he can find away back home or doc gets him back. The hermits better hurry up though, the whispers of the bloody vines are getting louder.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643755843327770624/the-thing-that-swallowed-up-bdubs-could-have-been

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643953040726081536/red-vines-covered-the-earth-where-he-arrived-it

#Cursed Princes au

Greek inspired fundywasfound. Both Fundy and George are princes cursed by the gods. Fundy starts to get jealous when his husband starts too spend too much time around George after he brought him home, his insecurities kick in. I want a happy ending goddammit so it will end with the blind hero, bless by the gods, and his two monster husbands, that was cursed by the gods, living out the cottagecore dream.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643675647742558208/okay-so-greek-mythology-inspired-fundywastaken-and

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643759421168680960/thank-you-so-much-for-all-your-suggestions-and

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643758575823601664/scream-omg-yes-they-are-absolutely-gorgeous-i

#Imortal Friends au

Etho and Phil are best friends and immortals who have very different ways of deal with their immortality.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641953700022222848/etho-is-an-imortal-by-what-means-changes-each

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645208871673167872/so-time-for-some-imortal-etho-he-is-extremely

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645304665687359488/imortal-etho-and-philza-being-friends-philza

#Ghost Hunter Techno au

Modernish au where Techno and the dream team plus Skeppy and Badboyhalo investigate haunted places on weekends. Techno can see and interacts with ghosts as his twin, Wilbur is one, but plays the skeptic. He is best friends with Skeppy. Both are dating Bad.

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641929520979509248/hello-i-just-had-the-most-amazing-idea-a-ghost

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/641963444188430336/so-further-on-this-topic-this-takes-place-in-a

Some other potential aus

NPG in DSMP au

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645933713588404225/a-mishap-occurs-and-friendly-if-a-little-intense

Slow and Unapologetic Redemption au

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645127074896658432/many-villains-have-slow-and-unapologetic-decents

Gecko Tommy au

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/644701327677669376/gecko-hermitcraft-stan-account

Changeling Fundy au

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/645026563721723904/fundy-as-we-know-him-is-a-changeling-wilburs

Unnamed mumbo adopts ranboo au

Gritho

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642038562938896384/yalls-know-what-ship-is-so-goddammed-cute

Watcher fundy

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642325140438401024/watcher-fundy-fundy-although-not-being-born-a

Hermitcraft is where herobrine goes to retire

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/642493177179389952/hermitcraft-is-were-herobrine-goes-to-retire-the

Insomnia buddies gritho

https://an-echos-thoughts.tumblr.com/post/643127144861564928/alot-of-hermits-find-it-hard-to-sleep-many-would

[liliesinrequiem]

Forfeit

A/N: I’m back! Please forgive this horrible attempt at writing something nsfw because I never have and don’t know if I ever will again...But Kaeya brainrot is a thing. 

Pairing: Kaeya x AFAB!Reader

Summary: You remember that you have to leave because you have things to do. Except you can’t leave unless you forfeit in the little competition between you and Kaeya. 

CW: General nsfw themes (explicit mentions of sex and stuff), blurred lines between superior and subordinate relationship. 

You knew that this would be one of those things that you’d overanalyze at night while Noelle softly snored in the bed across from yours. While she fondly dreamed of becoming a knight, you’d be recollecting the day and thinking about what moment led you to sitting on the Cavalry Captain’s lap as his cock rested inside of you. You’d blame him, surely. Blame him for always convincing you to do things you’d never do otherwise. 

But until then, you sat in agony. You’d been in agony for however long you’d been sitting there. While Kaeya was just able to sit there, writing on papers and humming quietly, as if nothing was amiss. One arm wrapped around your waist to make sure that you didn’t move around too much to distract him. Were someone to walk in, Barbatos forbid, it’d be rather hard to explain why a maid of the Knights of Favonius was comfortably sitting on the lap of her superior. Sure, he could spin a convincing tale of why you were on his lap. You just doubted that you’d last long enough to hear as the embarrassment would probably kill you. The very notion of it all was enough to cause dread to sit in your stomach. 

“Kaeya,” you began. A warning squeeze on your hip indicated that you’d said something wrong. You bit the inside of your cheek. A bad habit that you’d gotten since you started to work for him more frequently. The pain would come back to haunt you later. 

“When did I give you permission to address me so casually? Want to try again?” he asked. He never stopped scribbling. 

“Captain?” Uncertainty in your voice and in your head. The blurred lines between superior and subordinate always made your relationship difficult to navigate. Much like walking into Dragonspine during a snowstorm. You never knew what to call him in public or in private. Some days he was just Kaeya. Other days, he was ‘Captain’. Maybe it was to remind himself of the position that he held over you. Or maybe to remind you that you were still beneath him. Whether literally or figuratively. You just continued walking through the eternal maze that he was. 

“Yes?” he asked. Acting as if all was normal. You actually wondered just how much paperwork could someone with no cavalry have to do? 

“May I leave sometime soon? I have many duties-” You stopped talking as he moved around abruptly, causing you to feel him fill you at a different angle. It’d been a while since you and Kaeya had done anything. The sensation of feeling him inside you after so long would be wonderful were it not for the fact that you were nervous of someone walking in and of not accomplishing all your work for the day. 

“More important than me being inside of you?” he asked. His voice sounded as if it was something so normal. Maybe it was to him. You took your time to answer. You weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to answer truthfully. Maybe if you did, Kaeya would be kind and let you go. Or maybe he’d take your answer as a reason to stretch it out further. He’d done it before. 

“Of course not, Captain. I just have other things to do….” You trailed off. You had not yet adjusted to the new position he had placed you in. 

“Well, you already know the only way for you to get out of this situation. Either you last longer than I do or you forfeit. Are you saying that you want forfeit, my dear (Y/N)?” His grip around you had only gotten stronger. You really hated yourself at that moment. The conditions of your current situation came down to two things: either you manage to wait longer than him and not beg him to fuck you or he breaks first. The prize? You get free dinner for the rest of the week if you win. If you lose, Kaeya is able to fuck you wherever and whenever he wants for a week. One might think that you losing didn’t sound so bad. One of the most sought after bachelors of Mondstadt fucking you? Many would line up willingly. However, knowing him, he’d do everything in his power to make it more troublesome for you. 

You really didn’t want to forfeit. But you also knew that you had to leave soon. Work had always been something that you cared for and dedicated yourself wholeheartedly to. Now look at you. You should have never agreed to do this with him. You already had so much to do and you were now so behind. Curse your inability to say no to him. 

“No,” you muttered, “I’d never forfeit.” A lie. You weren’t sure why you even bothered lying. You had forfeited before because of similar problems. You were just bad at time management when it came to Kaeya. There was the time that you had to forfeit because you had to deliver a package to Diluc. There was another time that you had to forfeit because you had promised to help Lisa in the library. The blue-haired man had been rather upset both times due to his fun being cut short. You also lost a ton of mora in paying back your loss. 

“I do hate it when you lie to me. What could be so important that you’re willing to forfeit? Is it because you can’t last any longer?” Always a tease. He’d stopped writing by that point. His free hand had turned your face to look at him. Something that you found incredibly difficult. Even when he wasn’t buried within you. You could barely make eye contact with him on a good day.

“I..I promised Noelle that I’d train with her today,” you answered, “I already failed to do so yesterday.” You didn’t add that it was because he had prevented you from training with her by giving you a laundry list of errands to run. Funnily enough, it did include doing laundry. Your roommate had kindly accepted the reasoning, but you had offered to practice today as a make-up. What sort of maid would you be if you failed to do a task for a second time? 

“I’m sure that Noelle would understand if you didn’t make it to practice,” he said. Of course she would. It didn’t mean that you wouldn’t feel bad for flaking out on her for a second time. 

“You’re not wrong...but..” You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence. You knew that you couldn’t convince him to let you go freely. No, he enjoyed the concept of you losing too much. He thrived off of you being in difficult situations.  

He sighed. “But what? You already know the conditions. Either you continue waiting and outlast me or you forfeit,” he said. One or the other. 

As much as you wished to be able to remain longer, you knew that you’d lost. “I forfeit,” you mumbled. A wicked smile appeared on his face as he hoisted you onto his desk. 

“Captain?” you squeaked out. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot that I could claim my reward whenever I wanted.” 

---

“I’m so sorry, Noelle. I’m not feeling so well,” you said. You were excusing yourself from practicing with her. Ignoring the (happy) man next to you, who was so kindly letting you lean on him, you apologized. 

“Are you okay? Are you feeling ill?” she said. You weren’t ill. But your body had been exhausted after how hard Kaeya had gone. You were surprised that his office papers weren’t ruined. Or that your own dress hadn’t been torn in his actions.

“I think I’m coming down with something. Don’t worry about me, though. The Captain is going to take me home. We can practice tomorrow?” you said. Though the likelihood of practicing tomorrow might not work out either. 

“Don’t worry about me! Focus on recovering! I’ll make some soup for dinner if you don’t feel better in the evening.” She was far too kind. 

“See? I told you that she’d understand,” he said as the two of you walked away. Noelle had explained some remedies to Kaeya that could work for you in the meantime until she got home. Though you were certain that his mind was somewhere else the entire time. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that you’ll be able to practice with her tomorrow. After all, I’m not done with you just yet.” 

You were not, in fact, able to train with her the next day. Or so much as walk. Something that greatly amused the reason that you couldn’t work.