#you know personally i do think that instead of delaying the guidance | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myrtles-and-blood · 7 days

Note

hi i'm not really all that new to this sort of thing but i keep seeing people use the term "deity work" and i don't exactly understand what it means? like what is it, what does it entail, how is it different from deity worship? could you explain? thank you so much

Hello! I'll explain it as best as I can, so if anyone sees something out of place go ahead and correct me! Other people have answered this before here, I recommend looking into those posts as well.

What does Deity Work even mean?

Let's say this is a giving-receiving relationship you have with a deity. I'll talk about my case as an example:

I started my worship with Lucifer, right? We talked, I gave him offerings, etc. Before I did a reading with him I noticed the responses were not like he usually responds. You know, the energies were off. The thing is I ended up landing that deity was Beelzebub just checking on what I do. I asked Lucifer and he said "Yeah I told him about you, he's nice and he wants to work with you".

"Why would a deity want me to work with him? That's weird, I don't think I have anything interesting here" Well I did have something interesting: I was (and still am) extremely disorganised and I cannot concentrate on my studies. He is The Lord of the Flies™, yes, but he also can help people with management in business and working efficiently. So seeing me was like if you saw a stray cat doing the stupidest thing it can do to get food and going "Yeah I want one of those".

After we did a reading clearing up everything and what we'll do in this working relationship, we just started. What I do currently is light his candle every time I have to study and it works wonders because I can actually concentrate. I don't know how he does it, but it's really cool. Studying and anything I find with bugs in it (related to bugs, I'm not giving him a dead bug) I give it to him. In exchange he gives me concentration and some advice to organise my studying sessions while supervising them.

This was not me just telling a story, I want you to see how it can start and how it progresses:

That deity might come on its own or maybe another deity told them about you (Hermes is the god of "I know a guy" so he does that often)

They don't choose you like "You are the chosen favourite of God", it's not that serious. They just like what you're about and probably think they have the solution to that specific problem, just like stray cats lol.

In exchange for prayers and offerings they can give you advice and guidance through a problem. Depends on your dynamic with them, the problem that you have, etc., so it can look very different depending on the person and deity of course.

They can ask you to start this working relationship OR you can approach them! Much like I did with Aphrodite, and it's amazing, so I encourage you to ask instead of waiting for someone to pop up.

Also, the fact that they want to work with you does not mean you want to do so, you know? You can always turn down an offer. With Beelzebub I told him that I did want to work with him, but it wasn't the best moment, so we delayed it! Again, depends on every situation. This means they can turn down your offer if you wanna work with them too! It's just Consent 101.

How is this any different from Deity Worship?

Worshipping a deity is more like "I love what you do please take this cookie and keep up the good work" in my humble opinion.

Maybe you live by the sea and do horse riding, that means you'll probably like Poseidon and worshipping him is a way of thanking him for all those things you like. Maybe you are the absolute worst at studies and owls scare the shit out of you, but Athena is your girl because you like her and that's it. It's like having a friend who you share hobbies with or not, but you love them and give them stuff that you know they like even if you aren't really into it (I'm not telling you to go find owls for Athena, but maybe give them a cute figurine of an owl like "I hate that, that's not my thing, but it's your thing so here you go")

I am NOT good at sports. But Ares and I are close and I like him very much, my good time boy. We still have things in common and sometimes I'll tell him "I will do two push ups for you my guy, just for you" and I instantly fall flat to the ground not even finishing the first one, but the intention is what counts. He's probably not very fond of rocks but if I find some for my collection and start rambling he will probably go "I don't know what the fuck you're on about but looks cool".

THE POINT IS, worship is honouring what that deity does, and working is wanting to collaborate with them to get to a goal that relates to what they do. I personally won't recommend Dionysus if you want to get a raise at your law firm, but who knows, maybe he helps you pick the perfect wine for a work dinner to get your boss to like you as a small treat lol.

Working needs worship, but worship does not need working. Just clarifying.

If you lose your glasses and ask Hermes to help you find them quickly because you're getting dizzy does not mean you're instantly working with him. It's a small favour, that's common in deity worship. But deity work requires a process. I think it's meant for a long term goal. You won't ask Hermes to work with you just to find your glasses, but you probably want to work with him to learn French, you know?

I hope I cleared things up. I did as best as I could, that's how I practice my stuff. Again, if you feel like adding information and/or pointing out something that's not correct, you're free to do so with respect!

Anon, I hope I cleared your confusion even after beating around the bush so much lol. 🫶🏻

#deity worship #deity work #hellenism #hellenic pagan #pagan witch #paganism #pagan #paganblr #witch community #witches #witchcraft #witchblr #deity #deities #gods and deities #the gods #gods #demonolatry

19 notes · View notes

sonderwrit · 11 months

Text

C112: There's a kitty!

I Have to Be a Great Villain - Masterpost

Child!Wang Yi is a menace to my heartstrings in the cultivation world...

S-0: The protagonist shou in Defying the Gods is an extremely "unlucky" person.

S-0: Ever since he was born, he was disliked by his poor family for his meager talents.

S-0: Fortunately, with the guidance of a passerby immortal, he ascended the immortal mountain and passed the trial.

S-0: His cultivation path thus begun.

S-0: He wanted to take the passerby immortal as his master, but "unluckily" discovered—

S-0: That the immortal sovereign already had a direct disciple.

S-0: Moreover, because of his excellent background and spirit roots, this disciple was extremely domineering.

Disciple: You want to be a direct disciple with skills like that?

S-0: And [the disciple] always targeted him.

S-0: Luckily—

???: From this day forward,

???: You will be my direct disciple.

S-0: Because of his down-to-earth, hard-working, and kind nature, he was accepted as a disciple by the young new sect leader.

S-0: And was also "unlucky" enough to get in trouble with the demon lord when gaining experience outside.

Demon Lord: Very good, you've caught the interest of this seat.*

*this seat 本座 - literal translation, basically a formal way of referring to oneself, like the royal We or "this exalted one"

S-0: Thus he was entangled—

Wang Yi: WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!! What are you saying!

WY: Although I'm generally clear on my role as a villain, is this protagonist actually unlucky? (Why do all his encounters sound so fortuitous? He always gets what he wants?)

S-0: Aish~ it's just the settings.

S-0: After all, this is a thrilling danmei novel with a high-level of NP, so there's always tropes like these.

*high-level of NP (NP高嗨) - NP = numerous pairings = numerous couples

WY: (AHHHHHhhHHHHhhHHHHHH)

WY: N what….? High what….?

S-0: All right already, even if you memorize the plot, Host will forget it soon enough. Don't panic.

S-0: Since a cultivation world contains many special rules and abilities, Host needs to transmigrate in advance as a child to get used to the settings, or else it'll be hard for you to use your cultivation skills smoothly.

S-0: The longer you stay in this world, the higher your probability of meeting Mr. Qin. To prevent mind-reading abilities from ruining the plot, S-0 will completely seal your memories.

S-0: For a couple of decades, you'll believe that you're really (the character) [Silkpants Senior Brother - Immortal Wan Yi].*

纨绔师兄 - 万亿仙君 - a silkpants is literally a dandy/fop, and instead of Wang Yi this time they went to Wan Yi which literally means "trillion" hahahha

S-0: Once "it" leaves, your memories will be unsealed so nothing gets delayed.

[Specification: Using the time to cultivate immortality, have the Main System observe the two people with amnesia and restore their memories after it leaves the Main Quest.]

WY: Childhood stage…

WY: Then do you know who Qin will transmigrate into?

S-0: Uncertain.

S-0: Host may need to explore the rest—on your own.

—

[Yunshan Sect]

Redhead Disciple: Hey guys, look.

Redhead: That's Sword Saint Qin's new disciple, right?

Redhead: I heard he's a genius with a special spiritual root.

Redhead: But it seems like…

Redhead: His brains aren't all that great.

Girl: Shhh—stop talking!

Girl: Yunshan Sect's elders think the Sword Saint has the best chance at ascension. He's only taken this one disciple after thousands of years.

Bun Disicple: It doesn't matter, everyone knows Sword Saint Qin's ice cold heart only cares about the Way.

Girl: Even this disciple seems to have been pushed onto him by the sect leader out of worry for his lack of successors.

Girl: He definitely won't teach him seriously.

Redhead: Oh? So it's like that.

Girl: Sigh, pity the child who has to stay with a giant iceberg like the Sword Saint, no wonder he doesn't know how to smile…

Redhead: *shock* AHHHHHhhhHHHh WHAT IS HE DOING!

Redhead: STOP—!

—

Wan Yi: Kitty? Just then kitty was right here…

Bun: HEY, LITTLE JUNIOR BROTHER, DON'T MOVE!

Bun: (This child is too young, he only has spiritual roots but isn't old enough to practice incantations/spells/magic. He'll be a goner if he falls.)

WY: ?

*SLIP*

WY: !

3 Disciples: (AHHHhhHHHHHH! ! ! ! IT'S OVER!)

*rustling sound*

Disciples: (This is…Lotus Blooming Steps?)

Disciples: (There's only one person in the world who can change the air currents into such a shape with his steps—)

Disciple: (The Sword Saint, Qin Xian*)

*Qin Xian (秦献) - this time the Xian is the 4th tone [haha, for the 4th world?] and means "offer/present/dedicate

—

WY: ?

QX: What, are you doing? *coldly*

WY: ….! Kitty…

QX: Master, there was a kitty…

QX: ?

QX: So you wanted to jump down just to see a cat?

WY: (How could that be.)

Disciples: (Ahhhh sorry! It was us who startled him!)

WY: ………

Disciples: (Sorry, sorry, sorry)

WY: Mhm.

WY: It was a kitty I'd never seen before.

QX: …….

Disciples: (UWWWAHHHHH)

Bun: That um, senior Sword Saint, the truth of the matter is…

*WHOOOOSH*

Disciples: ?!

Disciples: …..

Redhead: W, what now?

Redhead: The Sword Saint is really scary, he must have been annoyed by little junior brother, right….? Will there be punishment?

Bun: That's not something we can determine. Let's go, it's not like we'll die.

Girl: I plea for the ascended immortal to protect little junior brother.

—

[Sword Peak]

[Specification: The main hall of Yunshan Sect is located on the main peak, while the various elders live on their own personal peaks.]

[Currently, the little junior brother that everyone's worried about—]

*sniiiiiiiiffffffff*

*sniff* *sniff*

WY: ?

WY: (Kitty…nuzzling?)*

*吸猫 - it's not literally sniffing or nuzzling, it's just a literal term to express one's love of cats, such as kissing or hugging them.

—

Mini-Theater

#The S-0 who's in the cliffside cave#

S-0: (Help! So this is what Host is like as a child!) [Isn't he too easy to trick?]

—

#i have to be a great villain #villain 112 #manhua translations

4 notes · View notes

novadreii · 18 days

Note

Your attitude and words give me strength! You're tough as nails babe. Any tips for getting over a breakup quickly ?

aw i'm glad! this is partly why i keep this messy online diary going strong lol

you didn't mention how far out you were from it/the circumstances, but some general stuff i personally did would be (for a non-amicable breakup where i was emotionally abused, constantly lied to and generally neglected for the last 6 months of the relationship):

therapy if accessible, but you don't need this to heal. i just had enough issues to where this breakup was the tip of the iceberg lol, and i really needed the guidance to point out all of the broken ways i think.

realize that this person's treatment of you (if it was bad) had nothing to do with your worth as a person. same if it was just simple incompatibility with no mistreatment; incompatibility is neutral. how someone treats you is ONLY a reflection of who they are as a person. repeat this messaging to yourself no matter how fake it feels. it will sink in over time. it's not your fault. you never deserve to be treat poorly.

you'll see a lot of "forgive them...for yourself." messaging. fuck that lmao. you don't have to forgive anyone. certainly not anyone who isn't sorry. your resentment/anger at being fucked over comes from a place inside of you that loves you and is protective of you. honor it. it will subside when it subsides. mine ebbs and flows a lot and i just let it. that pacifistic/manipulative narrative of "anger is poison" is bullshit. it's an integral part of healing and denying yourself the right to be mad that you were treated badly is self-betrayal.

LET YOURSELF FEEL. i cannot stress enough that fighting your feelings, or trying to dissociate from them with drugs/food/alcohol/sex will only delay this process. feelings you do not allow yourself to process get stuck and manifest in other ways you won't be able to make an association to. they don't just evaporate. cry when you wanna cry, rage when you wanna rage. keep an outlet and use it often (for me it's my blog and a paper journal).

contrary to the above, balance feeling your feelings with self-care, friendships, and trying new things! it helps to keep your mind from ruminating. you want to feel for an appropriate amount of time, but not ruminate, you know? i learned that rumination is actually a form of dissociation from your feelings and delays healing.

go no contact. personally, i never stay friends with my exes, because it keeps me stuck in the past. possibly the single most useful tool when evaluating if someone is good for you or not. you cannot continue to associate with someone who treats you like shit if you are still attached to them. they will fully take advantage of that. attachment does not equal love, so you need time to let the attachment fade so you can clearly reflect on what kind of person they are. you will be amazed at the kind of clarity you get once you let the fog of attachment fade. things that never occurred to you before just become...obvious. painfully so. the ways in which you were excusing their behavior come to light. this is so necessary.

do not break no contact for anything ever. seriously. that is giving your power away to them, again. instead of reaching out to them, journal what you wish you could say. my personal favorite is to replay all of the worst memories of how they treated me like an awful mental movie, of how i basically cried for 6 months straight, each and every time they looked at me with cold, empty eyes and knowingly hurt me when i was doing my very best. don't do this too often because it's not great to dwell and cause yourself pain, only use this technique when you mistakenly feel like you miss them. you miss who you thought they were, not the real them.

don't rush into dating new people. you will know when you are ready vs. when you are doing it to show up your ex/cope/distract yourself. people are not playthings or coping mechanisms. you WILL attract someone similar again unless you heal.

take up EFT tapping (brad yates is the definitive source for me) this helped me reprogram subconscious beliefs about myself (how i always attract people who hurt/abandon me, feelings of worthlessness etc). it feels silly and fake at first but i stg, this shit is like magic.

all of this culminates to realizing that nobody can give you the love and care you can and MUST give to yourself! this relationship has made me a proponent of the belief that it's hard to find fulfilling romantic relationships unless you love yourself first. you will attract people on the same vibration as you, so if you have healing to do you will also attract damaged people who cannot love you the way you need. love and respect yourself truly, deeply, and wholly. not only will it feel amazing to finally be on your own side, but you will attract people who treat you like the queen/king you are. it will also make you a better partner to them.

these are the major things that helped me. I'm 5 months out and feel like.....85% of the way there? i still struggle with anger but like i said, i honor and don't repress that side of me. the goal is not to move through this quickly, but to surrender to however long it takes to process this. ironically, that IS the way to move through it as quickly as possible.

you WILL heal, you WILL love and be loved again. don't let bad experiences taint and sour your view of people. there are good, kind people who can't wait to meet you out there. when you truly love yourself, you will not settle for anyone who doesn't match that level of self-love. you won't even contemplate overstaying your welcome with abusive, low-effort partners. take every failed relationship as a learning experience and you never really lose. <3

#personal #i meant to be succinct but it's me we're talking about #hope this helps <333 #i promise it feels like the pain will never end but everything eventually does just calm that part of your brain and relax into the process #breakups #toxic relationships #abusive relationships #anon

0 notes

waynecowles · 2 months

Text

Get To Work - Nathele Graham - [email protected]

First, we must understand that we cannot work for our salvation. Jesus did all the work, and what a price He paid for us. We can’t do anything to add to what Jesus Christ accomplished on the cross. That’s a blessing, but too often we are ungrateful and take it for granted. We need to share our faith with everyone. Why are we so selfish with our salvation? “I’m saved, but too bad for you”. That’s a very wrong attitude. The joy of our salvation should be a driving force in our life. We can’t earn our salvation, but we can show our gratitude to Jesus by sharing salvation with others. We all know people who mock and ridicule our faith, but worse than mocking us, they mock Jesus. Instead of getting angry at their ignorance, we need to put in some work. Ask yourself why you believe what you believe? Can you defend your faith? Most of us just parrot what somebody told us.

Ask yourself if the person who taught you had a true grasp of Scripture. There was a TV show many years ago where the mother was a Christian and tried raising her children to believe. The problem is, she didn’t have a clue about what she believed. All that mattered was that she was a Baptist. It takes work to study Scripture, but that’s the way to know God. Study Genesis chapter 1 and look up the Hebrew words. By doing so, you will understand that God created everything in six literal days. Yes, Peter says “But beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” 2 Peter 3:8.

Sounds like evolution could have happened, right? First, “scientists” think it took millions or billions of years, not a thousand. It might take some work on your part to study, but it's worth it. If you read a little further in that passage, you’ll see Peter is talking about God being outside of time and the Lord coming back. It seems long to us, but to God it isn’t long at all. Scoffers laugh at us for thinking Christ will take us Home, but the Rapture isn’t a new idea. Paul taught about it and God gave “pictures” in the Old Testament to show us.

For example, Enoch was Raptured prior to the judgment of the Flood. Why would God wait so long to return? That’s an easy question. His delay will allow more people to come to faith and not spend eternity in the Lake of Fire. “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9.

If you study Scripture through prayer and guidance by the Holy Spirit, you won’t be confused by Satanic lies; you’ll be able to share God’s truth and hopefully bring someone to faith in Christ.

Prophecy is a very good tool for witnessing. Yes, it takes some work to study and understand, but there are many upsetting reports in the news that show us that prophecy is quickly being fulfilled. It takes work to study it and sort through misinterpretations. A very wrong misinterpretation of Scripture is replacement theology. You can’t find a passage in Scripture where God states He is done with Israel. Prophecy is easier to understand when you put Israel in the right focus. God has been angry with them at times, but He has never replaced them. Today we are living in an “in between” time, a pause if you want to look at it that way.

The prophet Daniel was given a prophecy that covers seventy weeks. That doesn’t sound like a long time, but a little study will reveal that in Jewish reckoning, there is a week of years. Just like if I say “I’ve lived 7 decades”, you know I’m 70 years old. So, this prophecy in Daniel is speaking of 70 weeks of years. That is 490 years. As you read through the prophecy, you will understand that Israel is very much still in God’s sight. “Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to finish the transgression, and to make an end of sins, and to make reconciliation for iniquity, and to bring in everlasting righteousness, and to seal up the vision and prophecy, and to anoint the most Holy.” Daniel 9:24.

Daniel was Jewish, so when this prophecy says “…upon thy people…” we can be certain it isn’t talking about Christians, but is talking about the Jewish people, and “…thy holy city… “is talking about Jerusalem. The One who will accomplish the things in this prophecy is Jesus. Only He can “…finish the transgression…make an end of sins… make reconciliation for iniquity…bring everlasting righteousness...” This is talking about their Messiah, Jesus Christ. Sadly, they rejected Him. The prophecy goes on to say that the Messiah will be “cut off” (crucified). This “in between” time in which we live is the time for Christians to get out and work for the Kingdom of God. We need to spread the Gospel to the lost. God doesn’t want anybody to perish, no matter what their sin. True repentance of sin will bring salvation through faith in Jesus, but people need to hear about Jesus.

Daniel 9:27 gives a quick look at what will happen soon. “And he shall confirm the covenant with many for one week: and in the midst of the week he shall cause the sacrifice and the oblation to cease, and for the overspreading of abominations he shall make it desolate, even until the consummation, and that determined shall be poured upon the desolate.” Daniel 9:27.

The “he” in this verse refers to the man of sin whom we call the Anti-Christ, The Anti-Christ is described in many prophecies throughout Scripture, including Revelation. If you study this verse of Daniel, as well as the following chapters, you will see that time is drawing to a close. In order for this evil person to stop the sacrifice and the oblation, there must be a Jewish Temple in place. This is going to happen very soon. The Jewish people have everything they need in order to build and use the Temple. We also know that the Anti-Christ will defile the Temple by setting himself up in the Holy of Holies. We all need to get to work sharing the Gospel so fewer people will be left behind.

During the time between the Messiah being “cut off” and present day, we are living in the “church age”. Christians have a job to do, and I think we have been shirking our duties. It’s up to us to spread the Gospel. Jesus was crucified, dead, and buried, but He conquered death and rose from the grave. That is what we need to share with this fallen world. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 6:23.

Sin in this world is beyond comprehension. Only faith in Jesus can bring everlasting life. The governments of this world are trying hard to silence Christians, and they are accomplishing their goal. Brothers, and sisters, we can’t allow that to happen. Jesus Christ is the hope of the world, but the world is blinded by Satan. Just before He ascended to Heaven, Jesus gave His disciples a mission. “And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:18-20.

Does that mean all of us need to go to deepest, darkest Africa or the Amazon jungle and spread the Gospel? Some people are called to do that, but our own neighborhoods are a mission field. You may be the only person who can reach a family member, or a friend with the Gospel. Remember the Rapture will happen only after a certain number of Gentiles accept the Gospel of Christ. The Jewish people are, for the most part, blind to the Gospel. “For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in.” Romans 11:25.

It takes work to plant seeds of the Gospel, and we all need to start working for the Lord. There is a certain number, known only to God, that must come to faith before the Rapture. The best thing we can all do is get to work and share the Gospel with everybody we know. Prepare yourself to work for the Lord, so you can answer questions and be confident in your faith. “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman, that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15.

Start studying to make sure you have a good understanding of God’s word. How can you teach a non-believer if you don’t understand the Gospel yourself?

One day, after Jesus had healed a blind man, His disciples had a question about if it was his sin or his parent’s sin that caused the blindness. “Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him. I must work the works of him that sent me while it is day: the night cometh when no man can work. As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” John 9:3-5.

Today we are the vessels through whom the Light shines. We will soon be taken out of this world. If you study prophecy, you will understand that Christians will not go through Daniel’s 70th week, but will be Raptured prior to its start. Revelation makes it clear that we will be called Home prior to the Anti-Christ being revealed and prior to the horrors of the Great Tribulation. The only way to be taken in the Rapture is to believe in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Repent of your sin and be born again. Study of prophecy will show you that we are extremely close to the Rapture. When that happens, the Light will be gone from the world.

Start studying now. Share the Gospel. Get to work.

God bless you all,

Nathele Graham

[email protected]

Recommended prophecy sites:

www.raptureready.com

www.prophecyupdate.com

www.raptureforums.com

All original scripture is “theopneustos” God breathed.

If you would like to be on my mailing list to receive the commentaries just drop me an email and let me know.

“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee.” Psalm 122:6.

0 notes

almaqead · 3 months

Text

"The Strike." From Surah 13, Ar-Rad, the Thunder.

Muhammad called Him Allah, "the Most High" the Israelites call Him Elah, "all of these, everything", the angels call Him Abraxas, "the passageway of the Ace of the Throne." Most of the time, they just call Him the Boss.

What should we call our leaders? Dumbfuk? Asshole? Buttpussymunch? What precisely should we call someone like Josh Hawley who sits behind a placard with his name on it and makes growling animal sounds at the CEO of Boeing, like she's somebody when the whole world knows he fuchks his kids and likes to be tied down to ping pong tables and get schrewed in his backside hole by Elder Tivo?

What does this tell us about our taste? The Quran says taste is everything in choosing whom to believe in, and trust me that one above, she ain't it.

But because we don't watch, we don't listen, we don't pay attention and we don't care, horrible shitty people are allowed to enter the government and the entire planet is on fire but so far, no one has said one word as to how we are going to get it to cool down again...we are all acting like we have lost our minds and have never had a guide...

13:31-34:

If there were a recitation that could cause mountains to move, or the earth to split, or the dead to speak, ˹it would have been this Quran˺. But all matters are by Allah’s Will. Have the believers not yet realized that had Allah willed, He could have guided all of humanity? And disasters will continue to afflict the disbelievers or strike close to their homes for their misdeeds, until Allah’s promise comes to pass. Surely Allah never fails in His promise.

Other messengers had already been ridiculed before you, but I delayed the disbelievers ˹for a while˺ then seized them. And how ˹horrible˺ was My punishment!

Is ˹there any equal to˺ the Vigilant One Who knows what every soul commits? Yet the pagans have associated others with Allah ˹in worship˺. Say, ˹O Prophet,˺ “Name them! Or do you ˹mean to˺ inform Him of something He does not know on the earth? Or are these ˹gods˺ just empty words?” In fact, the disbelievers’ falsehood has been made so appealing to them that they have been turned away from the Path. And whoever Allah leaves to stray will be left with no guide.

For them is punishment in this worldly life, but the punishment of the Hereafter is truly far worse. And none can shield them from Allah.

Commentary:

Pagans in every government are trying to keep us from the business at hand which is to restore normal temperatures to this planet by scrubbing the atmosphere, pronto, of greenhouse gases so the canopy will once again vent heat into space. We can mint weapons and ammunition at an unprecdented rate, so we know if we shift production to the creation of air miners instead, we should be able to reverse climate change in a few decades.

All the news covers however, are crooked munitions deals being made among squat butt ass end up ugly creeps, Joe Biden still can't seem to dump Donald Trump off a short pier wearing cement slippers, the world still thinks Gaza needs humanitarian aid instead of a can of Raid...

Our gods speak empty words but the words of the Quran are meant to be eternal, as long as time should last. Name one world leader that is speaking of the Eternal Truth to mankind about the Masjid, how the earth was made by God to serve our needs so long as it does not fall prey to the whims of the greedy.

Have the believers not yet realized that had Allah willed, He could have guided all of humanity?

God cannot will right guidance upon us, we have to do it. So why isn't it being done? Especially when sex offenders like Donald Trump and Josh Hawley can and should be ruled unsuitable for employment by federal and local governments:

Retrieved from:

FEDERAL STATUTES IMPOSING COLLATERAL CONSEQUENCES UPON CONVICTION

Right to hold federal office or employment In setting qualifications for federal office, the United States Constitution does not prohibit felons from holding elected federal office. See U.S. Const. art. I, '' 2, 3; art. II, ' 1; art. VI. Various federal statutes, however, provide that a conviction may result in the loss of or ineligibility for office. For example, conviction of treason renders the defendant Incapable of holding any office under the United States.@ 18 U.S.C. ' 2381.

Likewise, when an individual is convicted of bribing a public official or accepting a bribe, disqualification from federal office may be ordered by the sentencing court. 18 U.S.C. ' 201(b).

Other examples of loss of or disqualification for federal office or employment as a result of conviction or commission of a crime include:

removal from federal or District of Columbia office and ineligibility for employment by the United States or the District of Columbia for five years upon conviction under federal or state law of a felony for inciting, organizing, encouraging, or participating in, a riot or civil disorder or any offense committed in furtherance of, or while participating in, a riot or civil disorder (5 U.S.C. ' 7313);

removal from office, and ineligibility for any federal office, of a collecting or disbursing officer upon conviction of trading in public funds or property (18 U.S.C. ' 1901);

removal from office or employment of designated federal officers and employees upon conviction of unauthorized disclosure of certain confidential information relating to trade secrets or the financial profile of any person or business (18 U.S.C. ' 1905);

removal from office or employment of a federal officer or employee convicted of using federal money to finance lobbying a Member of Congress (18 U.S.C. ' 1913); forfeiture of office, and disqualification from any federal office, of a records custodian convicted of unlawfully concealing, removing, falsifying, or mutilating public documents (18 U.S.C. ' 2071);

ineligibility for federal employment for five years after conviction of an offense arising from advocating the overthrow by force or violence of the federal government or the government of a state or territory or conspiring to do so, or interfering with the morale or discipline of the United States armed forces (18 U.S.C. '' 2385, 2387);

removal from the Board of Directors of the United States Institute of Peace upon conviction of a felony (22 U.S.C. ' 4605(f)(1));

ineligibility for appointment to or continued service on the National Indian Gaming Commission upon conviction of a felony or gaming offense (25 U.S.C. ' 2704(b)(5)(A)); $

dismissal from office or discharge from employment of an officer or employee of the United States upon conviction of unlawfully disclosing to any unauthorized person taxpayer return or return information (or disclosing the operations of a manufacturer or producer visited during the course of official duties) (26 U.S.C. '' 7213(a)(1), (b));

dismissal from office or discharge from employment of a federal officer or dismissal from office or discharge from employment of any officer or employee of the United States acting in connection with any federal revenue law who is guilty of extortion, bribery, conspiracy to defraud the United States, making false entries, or another enumerated offense (26 U.S.C. ' 7214(a)).

Aside from such specific statutory disqualifications, a felony conviction does not disqualify a person from federal employment, but is a factor in determining suitability for it, according to the Office of Personnel Management.

Please help the world out and write the US Federal Elections Commission Office of the Inspector General at [email protected], and get Donald Trump, Josh Hawley and everyone like them in the Republican Party ruled unfit and removed from office. Then let's do what has to be done to heal the world just as we have been told all along.

When addressing the Inspector General be sure to refer to the fact Josh Hawley and Donald Trump have a relationship to Clayton Green of 2127 12th Pl NW DC, a pedophile pornographer. State you would like charges pressed against them for human trafficking and sex with minors with extreme prejudice including their immediate removal from public office and suspension of any further rights to hold office again.

This will do it. Once the US Gov does its duty and frees us from these foul things, the world will start turning again. You will see.

0 notes

annieintheaair · 6 months

Text

Don't worry about the damage done, just let those words roll off your tongue, even if you're lying

youtube

How you are raised has a huge effect on your life as an adult. I think my parents raised my siblings and me to be good, caring, respectful people. I know we aren't perfect but I know my parents did a good job.

Looking back on my life, and my childhood in particular, I have somewhat vague memories of going to therapy. I learned that you need to talk about things. I've never seen therapy as a bad thing but as a part of life, like going for yearly physicals, getting your teeth cleaned, or even just taking vitamins and living a healthy lifestyle. I've taken breaks from therapy, sometimes for months and sometimes for years but then I get back into going and it feels more like a preventative measure for me. Therapy has taught me a lot of things, like how to cope with different feelings and changes in my life.

When I was in middle school, my best friend, Laura, and I used to talk to our guidance counselor often. She taught us about "I statements" and we learned how to build a better friendship. Even though we had our issues, it was always nice to know that I had a friend who cared about our friendship as much as I did and was always willing to work on things. We stayed friends for a long time until we both moved away and went to separate schools. I learned a lot from that friendship though.

After middle school, I spent high school journaling more. I didn't have a guidance counselor to talk to anymore like I did in middle school and I remember plenty of days feeling alone in my new school and crying in my bedroom at night. I knew from the very beginning of my freshman year of high school that I would only be there for three years before going to college. I was determined and I made it happen.

I started seeing a therapist in college. I think it was during sophomore year. Maureen was my saving grace. When I felt abandoned and sad or had issues with Dan, Maureen was there. One session, she had me write down on paper a list of things I could do whenever I was sad. Some of those things included Rhode Island-specific things, such as go to the beach. She made a copy of my list and shrunk it down to the size of a credit card so that I could keep it in my wallet. I remember one day driving to school during my junior/senior year (they were combined because I finished college in 3 years, too) and when I got close to school, I instead got onto 95 and drove myself to my favorite little beach: Goddard State Park.

I've always believed in self-care and your mental health is just as important as your physical health. I saw something on Instagram that said something along the lines of how when someone is going through something and they're feeling depressed, we should treat them like we would someone with a broken leg. Wouldn't you take care of that person and be there for them? Just like you'd care for someone else, you should care for yourself.

For me, when my flights got delayed last night, I knew that I wasn't in the right place mentally to handle rolling delays. My eyes burned and I told my mom that I wanted to call work and tell them that I had an eye problem and couldn't see myself going to work. I ended up calling out sick, taking a shower, putting on my pajamas, and crawling up under a blanket to watch a movie with my dogs and eat Ben & Jerry's. Maybe I don't have anything contagious because I'm not "sick" by the standard that the world sees sick but I think that your mental health is just as important and if you're just not in the right place mentally, it's ok to call off from work or school.

After college, I didn't have a therapist for a long time. When I got injured at work in 2018, I started seeing a new therapist, April. April helped me through my transition back to work and eventually helped me navigate my relationship and breakup with James. When she stopped accepting my insurance, I moved on and found Shanna. I liked her fresh perspective and appreciated her help as I transitioned to a new place. Since she stopped accepting my insurance in December, I thought I was ok and had "graduated" from therapy. I also felt like I was withholding a lot from her and acted like everything was fine during my sessions, only to go home and cry.

I met with a new therapist yesterday, Jose. I originally was looking for a new female therapist but then an appointment was available with him and I thought, why not try something new. Surprisingly, I really liked talking to him and scheduled to meet with him again next week.

I don't think there's any shame in going to therapy or accepting help. I think the strongest thing you can do sometimes is get help when you need it. I've been wanting to read the book "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone," which is a book about a therapist who seeks therapy herself. I've said it before but I think we all could use therapy.

I feel bad for the adults who grew up thinking therapy was something to be ashamed of and never learned to talk through things. I think it's a parent's responsibility to raise their kids in such a way that they know that it's ok to not be ok but to get help. When kids go through divorces or any sort of trauma, their parents should really send them to therapy. I've seen what happens to adults when they didn't have that kind of support when they were younger and now can't handle anything.

Since I didn't fly last night, I was able to make it to the 9:30am yoga class this morning. It was a struggle getting myself out of bed but I made it. The class was a bit of a disappointment and my energy was so down that I felt like everything was super difficult. By the time we were finishing up the class and in pigeon pose, with my face lying on my mat, I couldn't help but cry. I was so thankful for the cold lavender towels that made me look like less of a mess leaving yoga.

I wished the people in my class had been more social and that yoga could have been more of a community like it was where I used to live. I wished I could have asked everyone if anyone wanted to go grab brunch at First Watch after but I felt silly asking a bunch of strangers. Instead, I drove home, tearing up again, wishing for a hug.

At home, I prepared for my job interview, and while I think it went well, I feel like I have a lot going on right now, and trying to start a new job might be too much.

I feel like this has been a super lazy week with lots of TV and cuddles with my dogs. I managed to get in a nap this afternoon so that I can hopefully make it through work tonight. I was originally looking forward to flying with one of my friends tonight but of course, she's pregnant and not feeling great. I'm just praying for nice passengers tonight.

Despite the clouds this weekend, it's supposed to get into the 80s, which hopefully makes for a nice weekend. Maybe tomorrow I'll finally put my life back together at home.

xoxo

Annie

#Youtube

0 notes

cosmicangel888 · 2 years

Text

When the Deceitful Fall ~ Uplifting Humanity

When morals, values, the deceitful be seen, even those in your families, communities, that watch, research, play within secret sects, and pyramid scheme to mindscrape and degrade your own sense of self enough that they can gangstalk their way into your own personal and spiritual makings -

Ridiculous but true - how when only creating the inner focus, those that spend so much time, studying those they claim to have more or be more, only to take from, steal from, dig of anothers gold and treasures and that they have not earned, or rightfully even understood - yet all the while claim as their right or entitlement -

My work, well, again, has been but my work. I have no boss, nor a partner, and for many many years, there has been such a group stalk, watch, perpetuate their schemes of thievery unto those that have made and pilled the way through pure perseverence and hark work, yet still their own towers, their own misgivings, and misfortunes are not enough of a sign, a warning for them to stop taking, stop tricking, and scheming of the innocent that they seek to plan and scheme until the towers become more blatant; instead of going within and changing their ways, or seeking what can be done within to shift who they are, they only seek to scam, take, and deceive and manipulate those that are vulnerable enough to take on their tricks, paradigms of pyramid schemes that focus to carry many on the backs of the innocent while the innocent work as slaves to these uncaring tricksters;

youtube

For these one want to be financially taken care of and when they have spent, and pulled through the last bit of stolen and taken monies they will move on to another soul; and their stories, deceit, and delays and spell work, to bind, to cast illusions, and promises to make magic and dream comes true are nothing but more losses to those that truly do the work and have the talent -

Always know who you are dear light ones, never surrender to a story to take in those that do not do their own inner work, and whatever stories you are fed, always tune into your divine guidance and tune in, there are some that simply do not care about you, nor will they care when you are left holding debts they incurred for the dumping on your name - honour and hold your light high - self value and self knowing are so profound and arise - you are divinely guided

I have no partner, I have no boss and I never had - I work for and with God, only that of God - I have no employees and I will not partner, nor open the door to anyone from my past - period; and the vibrations are known, spirit will block at every level. For your intentions are only of your selfish greed and games of swindling -

So, in a word to the wise dear ones, taken from personal account and person experience - I have been taken from for many many years and there has not been but a true and noble person from any form than that of spirit; and especially to that and those of my past - spirit will show each of you in profound and crystal clear ways; your faces will be shown, your names will be known to those that have true work to share and of good will and intention to bare - for the greater good is still the most high and of the pure aligned and you will not take, scheme, or steal another penny -

The innocent do not deserve your deceitful ways, and perhaps it may serve you to set out a life plan, go within, seek your judgment with Spirit, God, and sort out how you can serve your own debt and serve your own sense of self rather than pillaging and taking from others - abuse of power, abuse of energy and the malnourishment of the sick at heart is a vibration that can be sensed regardless of how intact one may think their full-proof plan is -

youtube

You are not allowed in the gardens of that which sewn by love and therefore you shall not prosper - for you did not seed it.

And so too is shall be -

You have no access to me, nor anyone you may send, you have no access to my downloads or my ideas and what point will you simply understand - it is only that which is Godly, of God, that shall be receiving - of good will - ©

You shall not take, nor silence me to the work, the eons, the families, the collectives that will see, hear, and know the power of love, alignment to Source -

No weapon formed against me shall prosper

Truth is a vibration - this is how you truly build and recreate anew -

Blessings and light,

Joanna

World Ascension Healing Classes, Intuitive Sessions, Healing Sessions, Ascension Books, Healing Systems, 5D human-socio-altruistic re-write ~

DONATIONS - see our PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss * [email protected]

#ascension

#enlightenment

#Youtube

0 notes

miekasa · 4 years

Text

bad romance

+ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

+ genres and warnings: friends with benefits au, friends to lovers au (well i guess that’s open for interpretation lmao), modern au—college au?, explicit smut, mentioned/implied virginity

+ summary: friends with benefits with your best friend since middle school is probably a bad idea. friends with benefits with your best friend since middle school who you’ve also been in love with for the past seven years—all for the purpose of her gaining ‘experience’ so she’s not nervous to do it with some other guy she has a crush on—is probably a really bad idea. levi ackerman is not known to make great decisions.

+ word count: 3.5k

+ notes: truth be told, i don’t even know if i like this; i took this from an outline/draft of a series i’d planned but know i’ll never complete. it’s kind of unedited too heh, also if you’re a minor pls do not interact

Levi doesn’t think anything of it when he finds you on his doorstep on a rainy Saturday evening. It’s very much like you to show up unannounced and attempt to drag him into whatever activity you want to do that day. He’s fairly certain that Hange picked that up from you. Someone should tell her that it doesn’t work so well unless it’s you tugging on his arm sleeve and interrupting his otherwise peaceful evening.

So, for a while, everything is normal. You make fun of him for his use of, admittedly overpriced, organic butter when he toasts you a bagel; he makes jabs at you shuffling around his apartment like a semi-wet chihuahua, and all is right with the world.

Until it’s not. Because half-way into whatever stand-up comedy Netflix special you’d persuaded him into watching with you, Levi’s had enough of your nervous ticking. He doesn’t know if you think that he wouldn’t notice, but he does. And he knows it’s not the result of you still being wet or cold from the rain, seeing as you’ve long since dried off and warmed up.

You’re focused on the show (ironically, focused to a point of distraction), you’ve been twiddling your fingers since it started, and you’ve been fidgety since you stepped foot into his house. Quite frankly, he finds it insulting that you think he wouldn’t know something’s up by now.

So, he bends his knee, turns his body towards yours, lifts his elbow to rest atop the edge of the soft, and presses his cheek into his palm: “Alright, spit it out.”

“Huh?—What do you mean?” You look at him with wide, startled eyes. He looks back at you with unamused, expecting ones.

You crack a nervous smile, attempting to laugh off his command as incredulous, but instead, your voice comes out in what sounds like a pathetic attempt to cover up a lie—probably because it is, “What? Can’t I spend sometime with my favorite, surly psychology student?”

Levi scoffs at your batting eyelashes. The look he throws you seems to do the trick as you drop your facade with a sigh and shift yourself to face him on the couch too, your bent knees almost touching.

“Alright, fine, you got me,” you sigh, hands resting in your lap, “You, um... you know how you said you’d help me with, like, uh... sex and stuff?”

Levi raises an eyebrow. Of course he does. He watches as your eyes dart around the room waiting for his response. It’s cute as heck, and if the topic of conversation at hand weren’t about to get so compromising, he’d have probably teased you about it.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well… okay, so, you remember Jean, right? The guy I told you about?”

Levi hums. Yeah, he remembers Jean, but only because you can’t seem to shutup about him, not because he’s particularly memorable otherwise. He seems to be kind of a prick and a huge idiot, if you asked Levi; but, that’s kind of his default impression of most people.

“Jean and I hung out yesterday, and it was normal, you know? We just talked and ordered food and watched a movie,” you rub your palms along the fabric of your yoga pants—another nervous tick he’s been observing, “I don’t know if it was a date or not, because he didn’t say it was, and I don’t want to assume, but Marco keeps saying it was, and that Jean wants to actually ask me out.”

Levi blinks. “And?”

“And if he does ask me out—or even if he just… I don’t know, wants to try something the next time we hang out, I don’t want to look like a complete idiot!”

He refrains from letting a noticeable grimace take over his features; and washes away the unsettling feeling in his stomach with a nonchalant comment, “I doubt he’ll try anything on your first date.”

“But what if it’s not a date! People hang out just to hook up all the time.”

“I thought you wanted to date him?” Levi questions, but his it comes out as more of a deadpan statement.

“I do,” you answer, your response a little delayed and drawn out, “But, I wouldn’t mind just sleeping with him, either.”

“Bold statement from someone who’s never slept with anyone before.”

“Have I told you today that you’re an asshole?” you roll your eyes at him, “Come on, Levi, you know what it’s like to just want someone, but not want them, don’t you? You’ve had one night stands before.”

That’s true, Levi knows it, but it’s different. He wasn’t actively seeking advice from his friends about how to pursue and potentially please his one night stands because none of that mattered—well, the pleasing part, probably, but not the pursuit, or the feelings that came with it. Besides, Levi hasn’t felt the desire for any of that in a long time.

“That’s not the same,” he responds, trying to dismiss the muddy feelings crawling up his throat, “Look, if your Jean guy gets horny when you’re hanging out, just make out with him—make him jizz his pants or something.”

“That’s terrible advice,” you frown, “Plus, he’s probably done that with a million other girls.”

“Probably. Sex tends to repeat a few basic actions here and there.”

“For a psychology student, you sure are a terrible makeshift therapist, do you know that?”

“That’s not even the kind of psychology I study, never mind that I never asked to be your therapist.”

Levi takes great amusement in your huffing and the frustrated pout settling into your features, though he does his best to not let his own smile shine through. It’s probably futile; you can probably see through his facade, anyways.

“I just don’t want to bore him, Levi.”

Any trace of his smile vanishes as those words leave your mouth. Levi doesn’t retain much about this Jean guy you keep going on about, and he doesn’t care to in all honesty—but maybe if he did, he could understand why you’re so hellbent on pleasing the kid.

Levi doesn’t like it, not one single bit. His own feelings for you aside, he doesn’t like how Jean has managed to worm his way into your head and make you think that he’s deserving of any kind of affection from you, whether it be platonic, romantic, or sexual. Because he isn’t; Levi might not know him, but he knows that much.

Still, he sympathizes with you. He understands the pressure of navigating dating and hookup culture, especially in a university setting; never mind the additional expectations set on you as a girl. It’s shitty, all of it; the stupid feelings, the sense of uncertainty, the dumb-ass college pricks. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of that.

“You won’t,” is Levi’s simpler response, “Just don’t crush his dick in the process.”

“I wouldn’t do that, fuck you.”

“I’m just saying, you’ve never been the most coordinated person in the world,” he taunts, “If that’s what you came here today to ask me to help you with, it’s fine.”

“Really?—I mean, okay, I know we said that’s okay, and stuff, but I didn’t know if—well I don’t know what’s on the table or not? I do want to do that with you, but I also wanted to know if we could do… more? But I didn’t want to ask for too much and make you uncomfortable! Do we need a lesson-plan of sorts, because I can make—”

“You’re doing it.”

“Doing what?”

“Stalling,” Levi tells you, “You know, how when you get all nervous and ramble, then run out of breath or things to say, then get super quiet, and let the conversation die and be awkward again.”

You throw daggers his way with your eyes, and Levi has the audacity to smirk. “Forgive me, it’s not every day I ask my best friend if I can suck his dick for practice.”

“You can,” Levi replies, a little too nonchalant for the situation at hand, “If you want. I don’t mind. As for a lesson plan, that’s weird as shit, so don’t do that.”

“Really? I can?” you question again, an ironic child-like glimmer of joy in your eyes.

Levi chuckles lowly at your enthusiasm—your appreciation is so genuine, he finds it nothing short of adorable. And oddly enough, he’s a little turned on by it, too.

“Yeah,” he nods his head shallowly, “You can.”

You still have that gleam in your eyes, but Levi can feel the hesitation creeping up on you, and offers his guidance before he loses you to a shell of yourself. He shifts over to you just a bit, loosely holding your right wrist in his grip; holding eye-contact, he carefully pulls you up to stand in front of him.

“You can start,” he says, slowly tugging on your wrist, “By getting on your knees and taking off my pants.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, you’re already kneeling in front of him, and the sight is already enough to have Levi semi-hard in his pants; an almost embarrassed flush washing over his body as he comes to terms with the fact that he’s thought about this visual more times than he cares to ever admit.

You fumble with the zipper of his jeans, pulling them, along with his boxers to pool around his ankles. Your actions are careful and calculated, but you seem comfortable—maybe not with your skills, but with Levi.

His eyes stay glued on you, when you finally hold his length with a single hand, the other resting hot on his thigh. He leans over again, this time to rest a comforting hand on the back of your neck, eager to wash away any remains of your nervous resolve.

“Start slow,” he instructs, feeling your thumb swipe along the head, “Just move your hand up and down a bit, like—ah, yeah, like that.”

You seem follow his words carefully, focusing on the way his dick jerks in your hand. Levi observes you carefully and mentally notes that while he’d have liked it, not making out with you before this was probably the right call—he’d probably have creamed his jeans before this could have begun.

“You can grip it harder,” he tells you. You listen, applying slightly more pressure to your grasp; and it makes Levi groan, short, but strangled, above you.

“Okay?” you question, the genuine concern in your voice enough to make Levi’s gaze soften.

“Yeah, that’s—you’re doing good,” he says, rubbing his thumb against the nape of your neck habitually, “Twist your hand a little when you go up, you can—fuck, okay, yeah, that, like that.”

You snap your head up to look at him when he lets a moan slip through; nothing but pure enthusiasm and satisfaction dancing in your eyes. Levi grits his teeth when you do it again, your thumb sliding over the tip when you reach the top of his dick, and, Christ, you’ve got to stop looking at him like that.

You work your way into a steady rhythm, letting Levi’s moans guide your movements. You feel him harden to full length under your touch; and when he does, you move your hand faster, twisting your wrist around the length and squeezing just a pinch harder at the tip, without instruction.

He watches through lidded eyes, using his thumb to press lightly into the back of your neck. You move your free hand from his thighs, eager to add it to the mix, but Levi freezes.

“Nuh uh,” he shakes his head.

It prompts you to stop your actions, tilt your head and look up at him, and Levi doesn’t think he’s ever seen something so sinful. Your complete focus on him, neck craned obediently, eyes twinkling under your lashes; your position makes him want to kiss you or choke you or something in between.

“What—did I do something wrong?” you ask with wide and innocent eyes that make Levi feel bad for worrying you, yet send an erotic pulse throughout his body.

“Not at all,” he reassures you, fingers treading into the hair at your nape.

He’s setting himself up for failure, and he knows it, too—because, really, who agrees to teach a friend how to suck dick? Having you on your knees in front him, crane into his touch, and keen to all his desires, does nothing to mask the painful fire in the pit of his stomach.

It’s stupid to be this hungry, this possessive over you when he knows you come to him in hopes to learning how to please another man. But one, precious thought is enough to cloud over all of that, enough to put that sadistic smirk back on his face.

“You said you wanted to give me a blowjob, right?” he questions, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth at the shallow nod of your head, “Okay. Open your mouth for me, yeah?”

He barely pushes the tip past your lips when your head dips forward, tongue peeking out to lick the very top. Levi sucks in sharp air between his teeth, relaxing into the couch when your head bobs further, enclosing the tip of his dick in your mouth.

“Fuck,” he groans, voice hoarse when his hardened cock rests against the velvet wet of your tongue, “That’s it—just keep going, like that.”

He watches intensely as your head bobs onto him. It’s hot and wet and so much more than he’d imagined it would be; and he’s not too shy to admit he’s imagined this with you. He moves his hand to brush away the flyaways of your hair, smoothing them back and tangling his fingers at the back of your head. He carefully guides your movements.

It’s slow and steady, and normally, it’d take him a while to cum like this, but with the visual of having you on your knees for him, Levi can feel a faint warmth of his orgasm already beginning to bubble inside of him.

“This is okay, right?” you pull back, a thin line of spit trailing from your mouth.

“Yes, yes,” he answers immediately, unaware of his tightening grasp on your hair.

With a shy smile, you continue, taking more of him this time and carefully gauging his reactions. You move your head further down, testing your own limits, until you feel like you’re choking. You pull back again, with an embarrassed cough.

“Don’t push yourself,” he says softly, rubbing soothing circles into your neck with his fingers, “Guys can’t actually tell the difference between a regular blowjob and being deep throated, no need to choke yourself.”

“Wait, really?” you ask, resting you bum against your heels.

“You seem so surprised.”

“That’s just so… disappointing,” you crinkle your nose, “Men and porn make deep-throating seem like the end all be all of giving head.”

Levi chuckles in genuine amusement, “Well, it’s not, trust me. If any guy insists on being deep-throated just to cum, he’s a fucking liar. He’s getting off on the submission, not the actual feeling.”

“The submission?”

“Getting someone to be willing to listen to them, telling them what to do, how to please them,” he shrugs, “Makes you feel like you’re in control.”

“And that… that works?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, “But, judging by the tone of your voice, and how willing you were to suck my dick three seconds ago, I’d say the idea of being dominant doesn’t really appeal to you.”

You scrunch your nose again, “Does it appeal to you?”

Levi pauses, thinking over his answer, before giving you a simple, “Yeah. Most of the time.”

“Oh,” you hum, “I… I don’t think I’d like that. I think I’d rather be told what to do, seeing as I don’t really know what I’m doing, anyways.”

“Ironic, considering you’ve never once listened anything I tell you do.”

“I was listening when you told me how to suck your dick,” you correct him, “You seemed to enjoy that.”

Levi pauses with a raised eyebrow. You don’t seem to back down, that matter-of-fact smirk on your face still mocking him. He leans over slowly, using his right hand to guide your head closer to him, and uses his left hand to grab your jaw between his fingers.

“You can be such a fucking brat, you know that,” he all but whispers, pursing your lips together in his hold, “Since you like listening to me so much, then shut up, and we can finish what you started.”

You blink, staring at him with a wide-eyed expression. He’s right that under any other circumstance you’d probably run your mouth off about him telling you what to do. But something about the way he knows what he wants and tells how he wants it makes you listen without an argument.

You nod, slowly wrapping your lips around the tip again, and bobbing along his length. Levi’s breath hitches when you hollow your cheeks slightly, a rough hand pressing down on the back of your neck.

“You’re really—god, okay, you’re good at this, you know,” Levi praises you, letting his right hand resume its position at the back of your neck.

If you had any doubts before about being submissive, the look on Levi’s face seemed to have wiped them away. Watching him throw his head back, his fingers gripping at your nape, his cock in your mouth—pleasing him seemed to be enough to please you, too.

“I wanna make you cum, Levi,” you voice your thoughts, letting a hand lazily jerk him off in the mean time, “Tell me what I have to do to make you cum.”

“If you keep going, I’ll cum,” he answers too quickly, a groan slipping through his words, “Trust me.”

“Come on, Levi,” you push, rolling your thumb over the slit of his dick. It makes him inhale sharply; you’re getting a little too good at that; at all of this. “Can—I mean, do you wanna cum in my mouth?”

“Shit, shit. Don’t say shit like that,” he curses, blunt nails raking and scraping at your scalp, “You don’t have to—I can just—”

“I want you to,” you tell him earnestly, “Please?”

Fuck, he was pretty fucking certain he’d told you to stop saying shit like that. Levi bites the inside of his cheek, paces himself; uses both of his hands to hold your head gently, while you use yours to wrap around his cock.

He grunts with a shake, and rolls his hips up, pushing himself further into your mouth, but not so much as to hurt you. It’s soon after that hot strophes of cum wet your tongue, and Levi lets you lazily jerk him off until you’ve milked his orgasm.

The room is silent save for his low moans and the squeaking of his thighs against the leather couch. When he’s finished, he slouches back, looking at you through hooded eyes, sweaty and panting, when you close your mouth and swallow.

You use your fingers to collect any remaining cum from his softening cock, and hum contented as you put your fingers in your mouth. Levi locks eyes with you again, cheeks flushed as you pull your digits out of your mouth, and he has to grip at his own thigh to gain the self-control to not get hard again.

You’re going to be the fucking death of him some day.

He shakes his head when you move backwards with a cute smile and pulls his boxers up, then his pants as best his can, not bothering to zip them up. When he’s done, you stand to your feet then straddle him on the couch, laughing lowly at his post-orgasm haze.

He doesn’t think twice about the way your hands clasp at the back of his neck, or the way his find their way to rest on your hips. You grab ahold of his jaw with both hands, holding his face in place. He thinks you’re going to lean in, but you don’t; just stay like that, your eyes roaming his glassy eyes.

“Are you gonna kiss me or just stare at me all day?” he questions, lips pulled into a knowing grin.

“Can I?” your question makes him frown in confusion, “Dunno, I heard some guys don’t like that after getting head.”

“Bunch a fuckin pussies,” he grumbles, leaning forward to close the gap between your mouths. He can feel you smile into it, and mimics your grin when you begin to press short, repeated kisses against his lips.

“You’re the best, you know that?”

He laughs when you continue to press quick kisses on his lips. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

You kiss him on the cheek, wet and dramatic. “Love you, Levi.”

Your face is right in front of his, but he averts his gaze, a different kind go warmth spreading throughout his chest when you flash a smile at him. He lets you kiss him again, longer this time, but still slow and sweet. He likes the feeling of you resting against him, affection lingering on your tongue when you kiss him.

It’s dangerous, but he likes the way you spark a fire in him. Sweet or sinful, it makes him feel boneless, wanted, loved.

Levi leans forward, rubbing his hands up your sides, and captures your lips in another languid kiss before pulling away to peck the corner of your mouth. “Love you, too.”

And he means it of course, but if Levi thought he had it bad before, he’s in deep shit now.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #aot fanfiction #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman fluff #eren x reader

3K notes · View notes

robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Same universe as the one where LXC kills JGY on a boat to not-Japan. JRS-centric as he grows up in the Nie clan and deals with his reputation as an inbred son of a traitorous bastard.

so I don't think I've ever written a fic in which LXC kills JGY on a boat, and definitely not one where JRS is a character? I mean, I've written a lot of fics, so possibly I did and I forgot, but I'm pretty sure about this one.

That being said, I don't think I've gotten any Jin Rusong prompts before so I'm reinterpreting this to be a prompt for a fic about JRS growing up in the Nie clan. Fic below!

ao3

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang reminded himself. Risk is proportionate with reward. Your spine should be made of steel, just as your saber is.

He licked his lips, thought of his brother who had loved him, and threw himself forward with tears in his eyes.

“Oh, gongzi!” he blubbered. “Can you help me? I’ve gotten completelylost, I don’t even know where to begin –”

Xue Yang blinked at him, the lids of his eyes moving slowly like a reptile.

“Maybe you know where my san-ge is? Lianfeng-zun?”

The feeling of immediate threat lessened. It seemed he’d gambled right, and the rabid dog that was Xue Yang could still be controlled by reference to Jin Guangyao.

“I’d really appreciate it if you could just give me some guidance on where to find him,” Nie Huaisang said, lowering his voice confidentially. “I’d be sure to pay you back! If there’s anything you want –”

“Do you have any snacks?” Xue Yang asked.

Nie Huaisang, who had come prepared based on the rumors he’d painstakingly collected, produced some dragons’ beard candy.

“Not bad,” Xue Yang said. “Okay, sure.”

Nie Huaisang smiled, and even meant it.

“Hey, good-for-nothing,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang turned to look at his least favorite but nevertheless highly useful source of information in Lanling Jin. The fact that Xue Yang had no idea that he was functioning as such just made it more satisfactory. “You like kids, right?”

Nie Huaisang blinked. “Yes?” he hazarded, not so much because he actually did – he’d never had strong feelings about children one way or the other, though perhaps he was being presumptuous in thinking that the reference did not involve goats – but because that seemed to be the answer Xue Yang was looking for.

Xue Yang wrinkled his nose in distaste, though not, Nie Huaisang thought, at him.

“Theoretically,” he said, and he wouldn’t know ‘theoretical’ if it hit him in the face, “if there were, I don’t know, a whole bunch of them hanging around somewhere without parents, you’d be able to do something about that, right? Especially if they had a talent for cultivation?”

It took only a moment to piece together what must have happened to lead to such a question, given the ruthlessness of the cultivation world and of Jin Guangyao in particular, and Nie Huaisang marveled briefly at the idea that Xue Yang might draw a moral line in the sand over something. Presumably he felt some kinship to the children, being similarly utterly infantile, amoral, and fond of sweet things.

“Oh sure!” he said, playing up the brainless idiot who didn’t know to ask questions. “My sect is always recruiting, you know. We took some losses in the war and, well, I feel like adult cultivators aren’t really all that interestedin joining ever since I took over…”

“Because you’re a waste of space,” Xue Yang said, and Nie Huaisang pouted at him. “Whatever, the important thing is that you have space for kids. Orphans. Think, like, a whole orphanage getting shut down or whatever – anyway, not important. You’d take them back to Qinghe, right?”

“Oh, that would be so wonderful!” Nie Huaisang clapped. “That would suit everyone, wouldn’t it? They don’t have to worry about the children, and we get new disciples. I should tell san-ge – no, on second thought, he might be too busy –”

“Definitely too busy,” Xue Yang said quickly. “Wouldn’t it be nice to accomplish something yourself? You could casually show him that your numbers went up at the end of the month instead so he gives you the credit, without explaining that it’s kids making up the increase.”

“That’s a great idea! He’ll be much more impressed by that, I should definitely do that. Where is the orphanage?”

“…uh, in the forest. The back forest.”

You couldn’t come up with a better lie?

“You already brought them here?” Nie Huaisang asked, batting his eyelashes. “You’re so nice, Xue-xiong! I’ll go tell my second in command to go deal with it right away!”

It was in the fifth round of kids getting picked up – small cultivation clans being massacred and there was nothing Nie Huaisang could do about it, because there was either no evidence or else Jin Guangyao had come up with some motive to justify his actions and, inevitably, Lan Xichen would be there behind him, soothing over tempers and providing explanations because he believed him, every time – that something unusual happened.

“Sect Leader Nie,” one of his most trusted subordinates murmured into his ear. “There’s a problem.”

Nie Huaisang found a reason to leave the party early, a reason to go to the rendezvous point, and, once there, found the reason for the problem.

“Oh, hey there,” he said with a smile fixed onto his face by sheer force of willpower, crouching down to make himself seem less intimidating. Not that he was ever particularly intimidating, though given the rage coursing through his veins right now, he thought he might be able to pull it off if he tried. “What a lucky chance! It’s so funny, finding you here, Songsong. How are you?”

Jin Rusong wiped his eyes and looked tearily at him, recognized that the person asking was his Little Uncle Nie, and threw himself into Nie Huaisang’s arms with a howl.

This was pretty typical – Jin Rusong wasn’t much of a crier, but when he did he definitely took Nie Huaisang as his model, something all the other adults in the cultivation world had a tendency to give Nie Huaisang dirty looks over.

The only problem here, of course, was that Jin Rusong was dead.

Or, rather…he was supposed to be dead.

And if Jin Rusong was here – here, in the rendezvous point where Xue Yang put those of his prospective victims that happened to be a little too young for even him to stomach killing, at least without the personal grudge that had driven him to slaughter the Chang clan in its entirety – that meant only one thing.

Jin Guangyao had ordered his own son to be murdered.

Through demonic cultivation, no less, which was a pretty nasty way to go. There was a reason everyone implicitly countenanced Jiang Cheng’s vendetta against demonic cultivators no matter where they were, even when he ignored all territory lines and forgot to not ask for permission – the things a demonic cultivator gone bad could do were just so much worse than what anyone else could that they couldn’t risk any delay in dealing with the problem.

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

“There has to be a reason,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “He’s not rabid. Songsong was his son!”

“Sect Leader Nie, we can’t find anything that might explain it.”

“Look harder. I don’t care how minor it is, I want to know everythingto do with Songsong. Every little detail – every person who saw him – every medical report, every compliment, every good grade –”

“He placed last in one of his classes,” one of his spies volunteered.

“What?”

“He placed last in one of his classes. About two months before his ‘assassination’, and shortly before his father started collecting evidence against the other sects that were in his way, which he later used to ‘prove’ that they had been involved in the alleged murder.”

“He wouldn’t kill his son for failing a class,” one of the others objected. “The kid’s barely more than a baby. What’s he expecting, genius from birth?”

“He’s a genius himself. Why not?”

“If everyone inherited everything directly from their parents, he’d be a whore.”

“He’d be a Jin. They’ve all got that nose, every one of them…”

“I heard he’s having the other Jin bastards killed. All of them, even the women…”

Something snapped in Nie Huaisang’s hands.

They all turned to look at him.

“Investigate Qin Su,” he said, looking down at the mess of wood and paper that had once been a fan. “Come to think of it, she has a Jin nose, too.”

“I don’t want to go!”

“I don’t want you to go, either,” Nie Huaisang said, feeling tired and also much more in sympathy with his poor older brother than he’d ever been while Nie Mingjue had been alive. “But you disobeyed me, and that means we don’t have a choice. You have to go.”

Nie Songsong looked down at the ground, his lip quivering. “I didn’t mean to…”

“You did,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have to own your decisions, Songsong. You can’t take them back once they’re done, no matter what the consequences. Not even if you feel bad, but definitely not because you feel bad for having to pay for what you did.”

“But…”

“No, Songsong. You cannot be in the Unclean Realm when – when he’s here.”

Nie Songsong hung his head.

“He’s not your father anymore,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know that, right?”

Nie Songsong nodded.

Nie Huaisang sighed and held out his hands, and his arms were full of a teary-eyed child a moment later.

“He loved you once,” Nie Huaisang murmured into his child’s hair. “I love you now. I wish I could give you more than that – I wish I could give you an answer, tell you why he didn’t love you enough to keep from doing what he did. But I can’t. All I can do…”

Is what I’m already doing.

“You’re enough, er-ge,” Nie Songsong whispered back. “You’re enough. I promise.”

“When will I get to go night-hunting?”

“You go night-hunting all the time,” Nie Huaisang grumbled. “You’re a fraction my age, and already my height, my weight, yet you wield a saber like my brother was around to raise you properly. You’re ruining my reputation, you know; now no one will believe that my incompetence comes from how short I am…”

“Not night-hunting with the rest of the sect, er-ge,” Nie Songsong said, rolling his eyes. “With other juniors!”

“Not long now,” Nie Huaisang said, looking down at the paper beneath his hands. It was all finally coming together. “Not long now. Just give er-ge a little more time to finish taking care of matters for da-ge, and you’ll be able to go night-hunting with anyone you like.”

“Er-ge! Are you all right? You look so pale…”

“I’m sorry,” Nie Huaisang whispered. “Songsong – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry –”

“What happened? Are you injured?” Nie Songsong demanded, already starting to pat him over, looking for wounds. “Er-ge, what’s wrong –”

“Your mother’s dead.”

Nie Songsong’s hands stilled.

“I told her about your heritage,” Nie Huaisang said, his lips numb. He’d never tried to hide it from Nie Songsong, although he’d introduced the subject very gradually and only once he thought that he’d be able to handle the revelation. “About your father – your grandfather. What they did. I wanted her to be angry at him, to turn against him, to distract him…instead, she killed herself.”

“Er-ge…”

“I shouldn’t have told her. If I knew –”

“Er-ge.”

“I should have brought her in earlier – told her about you surviving – I kept her from you for years –”

“Er-ge!”

Nie Huaisang looked at the child he had raised as a little brother the way his older brother had raised him, a father in everything but name, and who he had the constant feeling of having failed.

He wondered, as he always did, whether his brother had felt the same about him.

“Er-ge, it’s all right,” his little brother, his adopted son, said, and took his hands in his. “It’s all right. You tried, remember? Time after time, you tried to talk to her, but every single time you concluded that she would’ve told her husband instead of trusting you. She would’ve ruined everything. If she did that, I’d be dead all over again, and you with me.”

That had been what Nie Huaisang had concluded. That was why he’d never told her.

But…

“She’s your mother.”

“And you’re my er-ge. As long as you don’t die on me, too, it’ll be all right. Okay? It’ll be all right. It’ll be worth it in the end.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head. He’d already done so much, caused so much chaos and strife, and yet this moment – this was the step too far.

This was the first time he realized that he wasn’t sure he believed that it would be worth it anymore.

But by now…what else was left to do? There were no ways out of the plan he’d made himself; he’d designed it that way on purpose, because he’d known that if there was a way out, that snake would find a way to slither through it. He just hadn’t thought that he would be the one looking for it.

It didn’t matter.

He had to keep going.

His older brother deserved it, even if the younger one didn’t.

“I represent the Nie sect,” the young man – just about their age, though shorter than either of them – said with a smile. He seemed kind, gentle and polite, easy-going, but Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui looked at each other, and then at Jin Ling, who just scowled. “Can I come in?”

“Were you even invited?” Jin Ling asked in bitten off words. He was still bitter about some of the things that had happened in the Guayin Temple a month before, and of all them the one he was most bitter about was his second uncle’s retreat into seclusion – they were all upset about that.

“But it’s a discussion conference,” the young man said, blinking in confusion. “We’re a Great Sect. Why wouldn’t we be invited?”

In the face of such profound ignorance, there really wasn’t very much they could say, and eventually Lan Sizhui stepped forward with a smile, welcoming the young man – Nie Songsong, he introduced himself – into the Cloud Recesses.

Everything seemed fine for a little while. Lan Sizhui was able to talk to the people in charge of arranging juniors into finding another place for Nie Songsong to stay, although it would be a little delayed – Nie Songsong assured them that there was no issue – and as recompense they even showed him, at his request, a few of the main landmarks.

And then they turned around and their guest had disappeared.

“I knew he was up to no good!” Jin Ling exclaimed.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” Lan Sizhui told him.

“I’m with Jin Ling,” Lan Jingyi said. “He seemed so nice and understated – just like you know –”

“Don’t talk about my little uncle,” Jin Ling hissed at him. “I know it’s true, but just – don’t, okay?”

“We should find where he went,” Lan Sizhui decided.

It took them a while, but in the end they found him in the most unexpected place: in the rooms their sect leader had chosen for his seclusion, sitting on the bed with Lan Xichen’s head on his shoulder, sobbing as if his heart had been broken.

“What are you doing?” Lan Sizhui exclaimed, unnerved even out of his own habitual politeness.

“I came to greet my uncle,” Nie Songsong said, his manner just as gentle and polite as it had been from the beginning, although it was now evident that he was as stubborn as a rock and not easy-going at all.

“Your uncle?” Lan Jingyi gaped. “How can he be your uncle?”

“You’re Sect Leader Nie’s son!” Jin Ling accused.

“I’m Sect Leader Nie’s little brother by adoption,” Nie Songsong corrected. “It’s through my father that he’s my uncle – and you my cousin, I suppose.”

“Your – father?”

“Oh, yes. My birth name, you see,” Nie Songsong said, “was Jin Rusong.”

“Why did you choose to reveal yourself?” Lan Sizhui asked. “Given that everyone knows – well –”

Nie Songsong finished the character he was writing and put down his brush. “Wondering if you should let it be known that you were born with the surname Wen?”

Lan Sizhui jerked in surprise, then flushed. “How did you – that didn’t come out in Guanyin Temple.”

“No, I knew it before,” Nie Songsong said. “My er-ge is very clever, you know.”

“Yes, I suppose I do...why do you call him brother? Shouldn’t he be uncle, or – or –”

“Uncle is probably right,” Nie Songsong said. “But he raised me like a son, just as his brother did for him.”

Lan Sizhui looked down at his hands.

“Why did he publicly reveal your background, knowing that you were still around?” he asked again. “Everyone will know. Who your father was, all those terrible things he did, his relationship with your mother –”

“Why shouldn’t he? He did do all those things, and he did have that relationship with my mother.”

“But what about you? What about your reputation –”

“Are you planning on sweeping Wen Ruohan’s grave?”

Lan Sizhui stared at him.

“He’s your grandfather, isn’t he?” Nie Songsong looked calmly back at him. “Who he was, all those terrible things he did –”

“That’s nothing to do with me!”

“And the crimes of my father are nothing to do with me. My er-ge gave me his surname, just as Hanguang-jun gave you his, and for the same reason – to cut us off from the sins of our original family.”

“I suppose that’s true. But – no one knew about you, just as no one knew about me until I told them, and I only told them because they were my friends. Why’d you tell us? Aren’t you worried we’d tell more people?”

“Of course I am,” Nie Songsong said. “I hope you don’t, of course, but you would’ve found out regardless – second uncle wasn’t exactly subtle in his grief. And I had to tell him.”

“Why? To bring him out of seclusion?” Lan Sizhui hesitated. “Do you care so much for him?”

“Of course not. The last time I met him, I was a small child, and my father was just about to order me murdered; that’s not much of a basis to build a relationship. But having him lock himself away like that, as if he were in mourning…it hurt er-ge. And I won’t let anything hurt my er-ge. Anything, or anyone.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

“I understand,” Lan Sizhui said.

“I’m glad you do,” Nie Songsong said, and then smiled. “I would’ve had to escalate to threats next, and I’m given to understand that I’m too short to really pull them off properly.”

Lan Sizhui snorted. “I think we’ve all learned that that’snot true.”

“Should we talk about this?” Jin Ling asked, arms crossed over his chest and glaring.

“What do you want to talk about?” Nie Songsong replied.

“How about the fact that your father tried to kill me?”

“Sure. Can we talk about the fact that you got all of his affection for years and years after he tried to kill me?”

Jin Ling blanched.

“I wonder if he would’ve gotten me a dog, too,” Nie Songsong mused. “I was too young for that when he ordered his demonic cultivator to feed me to fierce corpses and have my body ravaged until it was barely recognizable…but sure, let’s talk about how he tried to kill you.”

“I was talking about Sect Leader Nie!”

“Well, then, you should have been more specific. Sect Leader Nie’s my brother, not my father.”

“He’s a whole generation older than you!”

“My little uncle, then.”

Jin Ling flinched. “That’s worse. Go back to calling him your brother.”

Nie Songsong shrugged. “Would it help if we fought?”

“…what?”

“It makes me feel better, sometimes. Besides, I may be short, but I’m pretty good with the saber. I bet I could match your sword…maybe not your arrows. But I’ve always wanted to try.”

Jin Ling looked at him suspiciously for a long moment.

“Okay,” he finally said. “Sure. Why not?”

“I really hate that you’re kind of cool,” Lan Jingyi told him.

“I am so cool,” Nie Songsong said, and passed him another jar of wine. “Want to see my spring book collection?”

“…yes please.”

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Lan Xichen said to Nie Huaisang, who shrugged. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t trust me to help.”

“It’s only what I should have done,” Nie Huaisang said, not for the first time. He’d said it so often these past few days that it felt like a new refrain, an alternative to the old I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. He preferred the original. “I was his little uncle, remember? I held him on his first month party. How could I do any less?”

He did not say that Lan Xichen, who could be classified as Jin Rusong’s older uncle, had done much less, but from Lan Xichen’s expression, he’d taken it that way anyway.

“You never…” Lan Xichen hesitated. “Did you ever have any – concerns?”

“That he’d turn out an idiot? No. I figured he’d be in good company, with me.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Oh, you meant whether I was worried that he’d grow up longing for his blood family over his adopted family and turn against me in favor of his real father?” Nie Huaisang asked mildly. “No, not really. The memory of your father ordering you to be mauled by fierce corpses and to make sure your face is destroyed so that there’s a reason to refuse to let your mother see the body, as it would only upset her, is a fairly effective panacea against things like that.”

“No,” Lan Xichen said, though he looked sick all over again at the reminder of how considerate Jin Guangyao could be when it came to those he thought of as people, and how monstrous he was towards those he didn’t. “No, just – your brother always took such a hard line against the Wen sect…”

“Because they were raised with the philosophy that they were superior to the rest of us and my brother purposefully made himself into the symbol of their fallibility, thereby making himself and all the rest of us the primary target for their traumatic realization that they’re just as weak and vulnerable as everyone else,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Our Nie sect cultivators were always especially targeted whenever we were captured – our survival rate as prisoners of war was less than half all the other sects, and it wasn’t just because we were usually more injured when we got caught. Even the civilians surnamed Wen would pull out knives and try to stab us in the back if they had half a chance! We were in a blood feud with them, er-ge. You don’t put down blood feuds just like that, not even if you want to. That’s not how it works.”

Lan Xichen nodded slowly, thoughtful.

“Anyway, Songsong is mine now,” Nie Huaisang said. “Just as Lan Sizhui is your brother’s, and Jin Ling Jiang Cheng’s. Can’t we all just agree to not care about the rest?”

“I suppose we have to,” Lan Xichen said, bowing his head. “Huaisang…did you ever think about what happens now? I mean – what should we do next?”

“I don’t know,” Nie Huaisang said, and smiled humorlessly when Lan Xichen looked at him. “I’m not joking. I didn’t know what to do when I got Songsong for the first time, er-ge, and I don’t know what to do now, either. I just wanted to see justice done for my da-ge, and I did, and for the rest – I don’t know.”

“That’s fine,” Lan Xichen said. “I don’t know, either.”

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Nie Huaisang thought. Spine as steel as your saber.

“Would you like to come visit the Unclean Realm sometime?” he asked, pretending to be casual. “Perhaps we can figure out what we don’t know together. If you like.”

“…perhaps I will,” Lan Xichen said.

#mdzs #nie huaisang #xue yang #lan xichen #jin rusong #jin ling #lan sizhui #lan jingyi #my fic #my fics #nothing ventured nothing gained

262 notes · View notes

my-reality-my-rules · 3 years

Note

I’ve been trying to shift for over a year,and I feel like I’m not getting anywhere. Even though I try not to focus on the negative it’s really hard. I’ve been taking breaks I’m just frustrated and afraid I won’t ever be able to do it. I just want to be there now you know 😭 I’ve gotten close but every time I get close I can’t fall asleep (sleep methods are the only thing that gets me close) I’ve tried a lot of different methods and right now I’m trying to shift to a waiting room. I just want to get there so badly and I’m very lost Do you have advice?Ty sm!! :)

(I accidentally commented this on you’re last post I’m sorry 😭)

[thanks for this ask!]

it's alright for the comment thing, haha. i meant to answer it there but saw this one in my inbox instead.

inspiration actually struck me during one of my classes. as pretentious as this sounds, there's an exclusive subject we have in senior high where we share and reflect about our journey in our school. a synthesis class, if you will. it's somewhat like a mix of homeroom/guidance and literature. we learn and discuss famous literary works, and apply the lessons we've had in our daily lives.

[pls bear with me for this part lmao]

we were discussing the poem Ithaca, by constantine cavafy. the odyssey, which Ithaca was based on, tells of odysseus' decade-long struggle to return home from the trojan war. he was a king and a hero, and also a soldier. like most, he, too, had his own family and kingdom to return to. ithaca represents the idea of home—gratification and contentment after a long journey.

now, in the odyssey itself, we get to know about the challenges that odysseus encounters. some of these include: poseidon (god of the seas), polyphemus (a cyclops/also poseidon's son), scylla and charibdys, the sirens, circe, and even the bag of unfavourable winds that aeolus gave him. at some point, odysseus was already close to arriving at ithaca, but the bag of unfavourable winds pulled them back to the farthest corner of the earth. and so, they had to go through the journey once more.

our class was asked: how can one deal with the monsters that one encounters in a journey?

the point is, it's about perspective. rather than thinking them as hindrances that pull one back from the goal, they should be viewed as challenges to test one's resolve and position. even the greatest beasts can be defeated, and these monsters are merely stepping stones to become better. with every passing one, a person can become stronger and wiser. one has the chance to evolve into something better than what they had been yesterday.

and when it comes to shifting, one of the greatest monsters you can face is yourself. during the lesson, we were advised to break free from toxicity—whether it's internal or external. 'internal blocks' would be harder to to deal with and turn off because you carry them. the important thing is to cope first.

for example, think of a bad habit. while it can provide short-lived gratification, would it make you want to be a better person? when you surround yourself with them, do you feel better or worse? we were told that we needed balance and management. you mentioned trying to not focus on the negative—but i think that's what had been pulling you back. you weren't exactly facing it. and, while it's completely alright to do so, it won't make the problem go away.

so, try to think of that monster, and find a way around it. for instance: if you spend too much time on your device, cut down on it and try to hold yourself back from indulging too much. if you have a tendency to delay completing tasks, then break them down into smaller exercises. or, if you get distracted every time you try to finish something, do it in short but meaningful bursts.

here's an excerpt from the poem:

ithaca is the goal—but it will give you a voyage, and a reason to learn from the experience. but it will also change; sometimes, you'll place expectations on yourself, that the end result isn't going to be what you've expected. and when you get there, remember that it's all of your own doing.

keep the destination in your mind, and appreciate what knowledge and wisdom you can learn from the shifting journey itself. you had the motivation to start it, yearning for freedom and release. the buildup and anticipation is only a part of that process.

you might feel that you're not getting anywhere, but you're already going down a certain path when you think with that perspective. imagine what it was like for odysseus, to spend all those ten years yearning to get home but being held back by whatever came his way.

when he finally did arrive at ithaca, he was surprised to find the kingdom pillaged and overrun. ithaca suffered while he was away, and is much different to the one that he left, the one he had imagined going home to.

I'm not saying that shifting would be so bad, in the end, but it's everything you could expect and more. i mean to say to you to never lose track of that goal. even if you get sidetracked or demotivated, remember that it's still worth it.

again, as mentioned earlier: eliminate the toxicity, and take small steps towards the goal. think of the situation as the aftermath of an argument, or a breakdown, and you're there to mend things. to pick yourself up.

odysseus had his own shortcomings. he taunted a son of poseidon and paid for it on his voyage. he sleeps with circe and calypso. but still, he yearned for home, for his kingdom and his family. and i think—while i don't agree with some of the things he did—he kept the intention in mind. he took ten years. yet, in the end, he does get home, and is able to save ithaca.

i don't know what more to say to actually help. you've already mentioned all that i could think of—like breaks and different methods. i offered you a short summary of the odyssey, if only to help ease your mind—because, ultimately, it's all up to you.

#I HOPE THIS HELPS??#y'know i was actually grumbling about this subject #not because of the literature but because #i didn't like the teachers #i'm pretty sure they're not all too fond of me either #also because one of them has a psych degree #and that just makes me the slightest bit overparanoid #shifting #shifting realities #reality shifting #desired reality #shift #shifting shenanigans #greek mythology #ithaca #the odyssey #odysseus #Esther's shifting posts

26 notes · View notes

takuyakistall · 4 years

Text

summary: a mountain deity meets a suspicious eel.

length: 5k+

taku’s notes: ah, I finally posted this. It was meant to be posted for a previous milestone but it was delayed, but here it is now jbhjfb I may have gotten carried away with this when I first thought of the AU;;; also !! special thanks to ghostie and rui for helping me with this. If you see this, ily !! this also a three way collab with sven and @xxunrxvelingxx !! please check out their fics when they post it hehe~ they’ll be making separate fics that will go along with our agreed theme which is legends and myths from our home countries. In my case, this was inspired by the story of Maria Makiling!

"I have provided you everything the mountain has to offer and yet you greedy humans still want more?“ The thunder boomed, matching your footsteps as you made your way to sit on a log stool. Crossing your legs, you said, “I’ve had enough of you humans trying to steal my valuables.” Rain suddenly started to pour down, soaking the four men standing in front of the mountain deity.

They were shaking in fear as they saw the look you were giving them, they heard that you were usually a gentle and kind person who had never laid a hand on the village folk who lived on the mountain. They scrambled to their feet, with pitiful expressions on their faces as they desperately tried to run away. You made no effort to chase them as you already knew there was no way they would make it back alive. This mountain is your domain, surely they would get lost and stay trapped here forever.

You were usually a kind being but you would spare no mercy for those who enter the mountain with malicious intentions. The locals knew better than to do that but — unfortunately, those men who tried to steal from you were foreigners.

Your rage didn’t go away instead, it had gotten stronger. The rain was getting heavier, a flood was ready to form and an earthquake was about to start. There was no room for the village folk inside your head, your rage had overruled every moral you once upheld. It was cruel of you to bring these disasters to innocent people — however, nobody would dare to cross you ever again. They knew that angering a deity was never a bright idea, especially if they still had plans to live.

“Hah… Foolish humans..! Always scurrying around, striving to attack me and rob me of my riches. In the end, they’ll just meet their doom.”

There was something off about the man who entered the mountain. It seemed like he was struggling to walk. The rage you felt days ago has now disappeared and you felt the need to help the struggling man. You jumped off a tree branch you were sitting on to get a better look on his face — heterochromic eyes, it was unusual to see those around here, especially when you had isolated yourself in the mountains. He had teal hair with a darker and longer strand framing the left side of his face. He was beautiful, your breath was taken away the moment you laid your eyes upon him.

Then you finally decide to appear in front of him. His senses did not pick up your presence since he was too busy trying to regain his balance. When he finally looked ahead and saw you, his eyes widened and slipped.

“Ah-!” He was about to fall. He still wasn’t used to being able to walk on land, his balance was still sloppy and the way he walked was unnatural. Ever since his tail turned into human legs, he’s been walking aimlessly on land with nothing but a dirty tunic on. He had nobody to teach him about how land folks act or lived, he quickly became an outcast among the villagers by the mountain, which sparked your curiosity.

“..! Be more careful!” You grabbed his hand before he could fall, pulling him up to safety. He finally got a proper look at his saviour and the sight took his breath away. Were you the mountain deity they talked about back in the village? He kept a straight face while trying to connect the dots in his head. Weren’t you the reason he tried to climb the mountain? The blue haired man couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, “Forgive me, it seems that I’m still not accustomed to my newly acquired legs.” He spoke in a gentlemanly manner which surprises you. Maybe it was because of his dirty tunic that you thought he was going to be a bit more rough around the edges. You knew it was bad to judge a book by its cover and yet you still couldn’t help but do it anyway.

“What’s your name?” The cold tone in your voice sent shivers to the man’s spine, surely you had the aura of a deity! He heard the rumours about the gentle and kind lady up in the mountains, but it seemed like you were still kind of ticked off by the last incident he heard about. The man put his hand by his chest and introduced himself with a smile, “I go by Jade, Jade Leech. Would the lovely lady also do the honor of giving me her name?” It was faint but you noticed it — he was dangerous.

It didn’t take long for you to become attached to Jade, he charmed you the moment you met. Your first meeting consisted of you asking Jade a few questions about himself while walking through the woods. You discovered that Jade originally had no legs, thus his lack of ability to be able to walk properly. You offered him help and thankfully, he was a fast learner when provided with guidance. In less than a day, he had already mastered how to walk with his own two legs.

You were bound to the mountain, you could never leave because you are its guardian. Shall you ever try to leave, your body would run out of oxygen and pass. It seems like Jade was a little fond of your company as he went back up in the mountains the following day.

He was still wearing the dirty tunic when he came to visit you today, you had seen this coming so you had a nearby pixie fetch you some clothes for the tall man. When you handed the clothes to him, he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, he was intimidated by your cold demeanor yesterday but today it seemed like you were finally fitting the positive rumours surrounding you. A kind and gentle lady who would often go to the village to give your blessings. “Thank you,” Jade hummed out, straying far from you to change into the clothes you gave him. You felt your cheeks flare up a bit when he gave you a smile. You couldn’t help but wonder how this blooming friendship of yours would end. After all, he’s just a mortal, isn’t he?

28 days remain.

“Oya, a new mushroom to add my collection.” Jade was delighted as he crouched down to examine the newly found mushrooms on the ground. You mentally compare the current Jade you know to the Jade you first met — it seemed like he was an entirely different person. He picks up land dwellers’ qualities and habits fast and now you wouldn’t even dare think about how this man didn’t know how to walk properly just a week ago!

You tried to introduce him to a lot of things the mountain has to offer and yet somehow, he found himself climbing up the mountain on a daily basis just to see you. The village folk were a bit skeptical due to his odd behavior and at his sudden transformation, but they soon dropped the gossip when someone told them the both of you were lovers. It was a ridiculous thought but you never said anything when you saw how they had treated Jade better.

The more time you spent with him, the more you felt these complicated feelings, like your heart was tied to a knot. The way he smiled at you made it feel like your heart was being squeezed, and the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about mushrooms was simply too adorable! You noticed all the little things about Jade and it made you wonder about how you were going to label these feelings you have for him. You liked to believe that you know everything about the world, but the world loves proving you wrong. You were still naive, even if you are a deity.

21 days remain.

“You’ve gotten better at acting like a land dweller.” Your cold tone made it clear to Jade that something definitely happened to piss you off while he was away. Perhaps it was another human trying to rob you of your riches? Or to take your head as a trophy? No. Jade shook his head at the thought of someone trying to harm you. After all, it is impossible to do so.

For the past few weeks, he has somehow grown accustomed to your sudden coldness and harsh tones. The people that heard of the mountain deity’s treasures have increased and were bold enough to challenge themselves against you. They gathered into groups and shouted out insults directed at you. You had neither time nor patience to deal with every pest that was bold enough to threaten you, so you had the mountain itself deal with them. If they entered the mountain, they would surely get lost and never be seen again due to natural reasons.

The only reason why Jade and a few villagers were able to enter the mountain and get back unharmed is because you let them. The moment you sense malicious intent directed at you — they would be disposed of. You were merciless when it came to matters regarding your life and the state of the mountain. Jade knew that, both of you spent enough time together for him to know these kinds of things. With slow steps, Jade approached you, his usual smile was absent and this surprised you a bit. His expression was serious while cupping your cheek with his bare hands, it was warm. You found yourself rub your cheek against his comforting touch, he knew exactly what you were feeling and this reassured you. Jade pulled back his hand and placed it on your head instead, ruffling your hair a bit, “Have you been resting well?”

Truth be told, you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep ever since the attacks increased. Your guard was always up and a chance to sleep never came. However, when Jade ruffled your hair, every muscle in your body relaxed, you fought the urge to close your eyes. Jade didn’t fail to notice your tired state and sat beside you on the log stool that was big enough to hold the two of you. He made you lean against his broad shoulder while stroking your head, his comforting touch making you go closer and closer to your desired rest. You closed your eyes and drifted into sleep, not hearing Jade’s endearing words “Sleep well, My beloved.”

14 days remain.

“Have you done it yet?” Jade entered his temporary lodging to see a beautiful young woman with long black hair sitting on his bed. Jade’s warm eyes turned cold as he glared at the woman who intruded his home. Jade didn’t bother to put up the gentlemanly act anymore. He lunged forward towards the woman and wrapped his fingers around her neck, lifting her smaller figure up in the air as Jade squeezed her neck. The woman was letting out choked noises as Jade continued to give her a cold glare. “W-Wait!” She managed to let out a word, Jade stopped for a moment. “You still need me, you can’t kill me.” The panicked and pained expression on the woman’s face brought immense pleasure to Jade. Oh how he loathed this woman! Jade was ready to snap her neck, staring coldly into her eyes as he squeezed her neck a bit more before suddenly letting go. The woman fell to the ground, hacking out coughs as she tried to regain oxygen in her system. Jade’s unusual rage has calmed down a bit after thinking rationally, he went into his kitchen and brought out some teacups, “Would you like some tea?”

The sweet aroma filled the cozy house as Jade delicately poured tea into the teacups. The woman sitting across him had a suspicious look, staring at the teacup. “Oh, please go ahead. Don’t be shy.” Jade insisted, an eerily calm smile decorating his face, as though the earlier events hadn’t happened at all. “It’s not poisoned, is it? I know how badly you want me dead but,” the woman pushed away the teacup, crossing her legs and arms as a confident look suddenly decorated her face. “If you still want your precious twin brother to live, I suggest you shouldn’t kill me.” Jade’s gentlemanly smile curled up into a big smirk as he set down his teacup, “And what made you think that I still needed you to do so? You’re basically useless.“

For a moment, the woman shot Jade a terrified look. She knew that Jade was capable of killing her at any given time, she had to think of an excuse to stay alive. “You won’t be able to use the deity’s heart to cure Floyd without me.” It was true. Even if Jade has gotten the deity’s heart right in his palms, he wouldn’t be able to use it to treat Floyd’s condition. Jade frowned upon hearing the words ‘deity’s heart’. It was the only reason why Jade approached you, he was skillful in deceiving others and masking his true intentions. Though it seemed like his mask was slowly breaking the more time he spent with you. It was true that he was fond of you — very fond but Jade wouldn’t allow himself to admit the feelings he held for you.

If he ever admitted to himself that he fell in love with you, it would just pain him more thinking about the cruel acts he was about to commit. “I’m close to obtaining her heart. Once I get my hands on it, we’re going back to the Coral Sea immediately.” His monotonous voice scared the woman a bit, how could he be so calm when he’s about to betray a deity? “Got it, witch?” Jade coldly asked the woman. The said woman snapped out of her daze and refuted, “Don’t call me that, I told you, my name is-"

"Do I look like I care?”

7 days remain.

“Dancing? When did you learn how to dance, Jade?” Jade only let out a mere chuckle as you gave him a curious glance. You looked better than before — the color of your face was slowly coming back thanks to Jade. His presence soothed you and you couldn’t help but let your guard down — you trust him. It has only been a month since the two of you met but you would already trust him with your life. What is this feeling…? What did humans call it again? Attachment..? Or was it fondness…or love? You didn’t know the answer. The moonlight shined upon both of your figures sitting down on the grass. “Do you underestimate me that much?” A teasing smirk appeared on his face, you panicked for a moment because deep down, you actually did underestimate him a bit. You looked away from him, a light hue of pink dusting your cheeks. Shame rising up from the pit of your stomach.

“Oh my, it seems like I’ve gotten my answer. It’d be a lie if I said I wasn’t disappointed.” Jade faked tears, wiping them away dramatically as you giggled at his actions. Jade stood up from the grass, his polite smile never disappearing from his face. Even though he gave everyone that smile, you couldn’t help but feel like there was an underlying tone of feelings and affection he held for you. Yet, you brushed it off like it was nothing — still denying the fact that you were indeed falling in love with him. Jade outstretched his hand towards you, trying to help you up. At that moment, you couldn’t help but think that you were becoming so helpless around him.

Hesitantly, you took his hand as he helped you up to your feet. You stumbled forward a bit and lost your footing, almost falling had it not been for Jade who catched you before you fell. “Careful!” He warned you, wrapping his arms around your figure as you steadied your balance. You could feel his heart beating, you closed your eyes and allowed your head to lean into his chest — listening to nothing but the beat of his heart. Is this what it means to fall in love? Jade was taken aback for a moment, he didn’t expect you to suddenly rest your head against his chest while standing up. He let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you, his gaze filled with an unexplainable fondness. Oh how he wished this moment lasted forever.

3 days remain

It was dangerous and weak of you to allow yourself to be comforted by the presence of a mere mortal, even the forest pixies told you this themselves. It was a huge mess in the mountains when Jade wasn’t here. You suddenly felt sad at the thought of the earlier events.

“Lady (Y/N)! Forgive our insolence but we are begging you to cut ties with that mortal.” the pixies bowed down, they didn’t dare to look into your eyes — fear evident in their expressions. The pixie who talked to you, Daphne, was the wisest of the bunch — she had stayed in the mountain for far longer than you have. It was safe to say that she was wiser than you but the one who holds the most power was you — the mountain deity. Daphne didn’t have a single hint of fear on her face as she held her head up high, her blue locks tucked behind her pointed ear as she stared at you.

Rage coursed through every part of your body as your harmless gaze at them suddenly turned hostile. The gravity suddenly weighed down on all of them, forcing them onto their knees except Daphne. Had it not been for her power she accumulated during the years she had lived, she would be most likely on her knees as well. “What did you just say, Daphne?” Your mind wasn’t in its best state due to the responsibilities you had to fulfill doubled, every living being in the mountain knew that and they could see how stressed you were through the mountain’s state. They noticed how the mountain would flourish a little whenever a certain teal haired mortal decided to visit you, they knew that he was a double edged sword to their deity. Though they knew that he was a potential threat to you, when they saw how happy you looked when you’re with him, they couldn’t help but let the both of you be.

“That mortal man named Jade- He’s not what you think he is.” Daphne calmly responded, she’d been suspicious of him from the very beginning. Those words made the raging flames in your heart burn stronger. You knew deep inside that she was right. You knew he held ill intent from the moment you first met yet you just- You just blindly ignored it like the fool you were. Yet you were reminded of the way he called you his beloved when he thought you were fast asleep, it was one of your sweetest memories with him. You can’t allow yourself to believe that the gentle fondness in his voice that night was all fake.

“He’s after your heart.”

Those words pierced you right through the heart, uncontrollable tears suddenly forming at the corner of your eyes. You wanted to tell them that he was a good man, that he loved you. Your gaze dropped down to the ground, unable to say anything. The mountain spoke for you. The flowers were withering at a lightning fast speed and so did the trees. The wild animals, some died and some were dying. The waters were drying up, and the ground was ready to collapse any time soon. You wanted to cry. Memories of last night came flooding back. The way he held you so close to him, when you listened to his heartbeat? It was all an act to get your heart?

Daphne wasn’t telling her the whole story, she just wanted Jade gone. She left out the part about Jade’s brother because she knew that being the lovesick fool you were — you would gladly give up your heart to him. She decided to fan the flames, “I… also saw a black haired woman in his house.” Daphne cringed at herself, she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. She glanced at your forlorn expression before continuing, “I think she might be his lover.” Everything seemed to stop at that very moment. You stopped wasting your tears, the thunder clapped. Daphne knew she messed up when she saw your expression — filled with burning rage.

“It’s for his dying brother.” A small pixie speaked out, receiving a harsh glare from Daphne when she did.

“Flora! You…!”

Everything stopped for a moment, you held a confused expression on your face as you signalled the small pixie named Flora to inch closer to you. You had hope that everything wasn’t a lie. There was nothing more you’ve ever wanted. You desperately wanted to believe that Jade wasn’t a cold blooded jerk that only approached you for your heart. “Tell me about his brother.” Your weak commanding tone made Flora’s heart shatter into pieces, she could tell how much pain you were in. Meekly, Flora started to explain to you the things she saw and heard when she went to follow Jade to the village; the black haired woman who was waiting for him at his home, the way how Jade choked her, the hateful expression on his face, the things they discussed over tea, and how Jade needed your heart to cure his poisoned twin brother. Flora didn’t leave out the fact that the woman with Jade was actually the one who poisoned his brother and how there were only a few days left before Jade goes back to his hometown.

You were oddly happy. Happy by the fact that everything might not turn out to be a lie and that the Jade you were so fond of was real. Though you were laughable, you were an idiot in love. Love…? Is this what they call this feeling? You loved Jade to the point that you forgave him. Even if he didn’t confess himself, you were willing to forgive him over and over again. You were a fool. The biggest fool in the whole damn mountain. Though if it was for Jade, the man who taught you love and the first man you ever loved, you didn’t mind being called a lovesick fool who ruined her own life.

2 days left

Jade was running out of time, he could feel his lungs having difficulty trying to breathe as he climbed the mountain. The potion was wearing off and he needed to get your heart and return to the sea now — but he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want his time with you to end just yet. He wanted more time with you. However, his brother comes first before anything else, including you. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he just abandoned Floyd just like that — it would be unacceptable. Jade’s heart was in deep turmoil as he took a step after the other, why didn’t he.. want to leave you? He stopped in his tracks, his hand clutching his chest tightly as he felt like his heart was being squeezed. He didn’t want to admit it — he would never. If he did, he would never be able to go back to the sea. He continued walking towards your usual meeting area.

The frown on his face immediately lightened up into a small smile when he saw your figure fiddling with a bunch of leaves. As he went closer, he could notice that you were crying. He kneeled down next to you and asked, “…Are you okay?” gently, Jade tried to place his hand on your shoulder as a form of comfort. You flinched, moving back a bit from his touch and accidentally hitting your head against a tree branch in the process. Jade quickly tried to pull you close to him to inspect what might be a wound on your head. Yet you- you desperately tried to avoid any form of contact with him, your lips sealed shut as you walked away from him to sit on a stone stool. Jade’s heart broke a little.

You were still trying to compose yourself, tomorrow was your last day with him. You could already see him getting paler and weaker, his withdrawals were getting worse. You needed to think of something, anything. You were going to let him go today, he can have more time to go back to the sea. So he can live. Yet a huge part of you is screaming ‘Don’t!’ You felt weak and afraid, you didn’t know what choice to make but deep down you knew what was the right decision. Mustering up enough courage, your breath shaky, you spoke up. “Jade."

Jade had never heard you sound so helpless, your voice was shaking, eyes brimming with tears. What happened to you? It was a bit of a shock, for you to call out his voice with such a painfully sad expression on your face. He wanted to know how he could make you feel better, he was about to wrap his arms around you again but he quickly retracted his arm when he remembered how you reacted earlier. So he kept his distance. "Yes…?” He anticipated your next words, hands shaking — his body was slowly turning back. He needed water but he forced himself to stay still and endure the painful withdrawal that came with it.

You clasped your hands together, muttering a short chant under your breath as something in between your hands started to glow. A single shard of what seemed to be like a gemstone — a piece of jade. It was your heart, clearly influenced by your undeniable feelings for this man you met less than a month ago. Your jaded heart, it was what Jade was after all this time. Once it was in your hands, you clasped it tightly one more time before facing Jade. Tears blurring your vision, “Just… take it.”

Jade’s blood went cold, how…? Did you finally figure out his true intentions? Are you mad? Countless questions popped up inside his mind and his heart rate going faster by the second as he tried to make sense of the situation. Will he lie one more time? Or will he grab the golden opportunity in front of him? Before he could make a decision, he abandoned all sense of reason and pulled you into a passionate kiss. You were caught off guard, yet you kissed him back without any hint of hesitation at all. Your faces so close — your tears started to mix and you didn’t want to let go of him. Neither did he. After pulling away from your heated kiss, he finally managed to mutter out the words he was so afraid of saying.

“I love you.”

1 day remains

The cool breeze caressed Jade’s cheek as he ran through the forest, your heart grasped tightly in his hand as he desperately gasped for air. He needed to get back, now. The black haired woman from the other day was already ahead of him, looking back occasionally at Jade to make sure he wasn’t dead from the withdrawal symptoms. Memories of last night weighed so much in Jade’s mind, he felt like he was choking as he ran — his legs heavy as he started to sweat more than usual. Yet he didn’t stop running, you gave him this chance to let him and his brother live and he was not about to let it go to waste. He ran and ran and ran until he could finally see the sea.

Jade immediately jumped into the water, taking in the familiar feeling of being submerged in water once again — not once did his grip loosen around your heart. He allowed himself to breathe for a moment, letting the transformation take its place as his legs turned into a tail. He was slowly letting himself sink to the bottom of the sea, nobody could tell that he was crying from the wet environment of the sea.

One look at Jade and you can immediately tell that he was empty, void of emotion as he stared at your heart — placing a gentle kiss on it as he muttered under his breath, “Perhaps in another life, we could be lovers once again."

This is a story about how a foolish mountain deity sacrificed her heart, the very core of her being, to a mere mortal. A story about how cruel fate can be, and how it ruined them. The ending? The mountain deity fell into an eternal slumber after giving her heart up to her lover, unable to wake up after hundreds of years. The mortal man cured his brother and lived a somewhat happy life, longing to see his beloved deity once again on land and was killed after multiple attempts of going to land.

Perhaps things would’ve been different if they made different choices, perhaps they’d be happily living as a couple now but fate is not so nice, no? There is no happy ending for this disastrous pair, only ruin awaits them if they were to ever meet again in their next lives. They were both fools in the end.

"Eh~? Jade, Jade~! Did you hear about the transfer student coming today?” Floyd made grabby hands at Jade, excitement bubbling up from the pit of his stomach, will he find another person to squeeze? Jade let out a sigh, seemingly uninterested in the topic but decided to entertain Floyd. “Yes, it does make me feel a bit excited, fufu~”

The class silenced down so quickly, your footsteps towards the class stage could be heard.

“Hello everyone, my name is (Y/N) (L/N)! Nice to meet you all!"

Jade’s eyes gleamed with growing intrigue, why did you seem familiar to him in some way? He didn’t dwell on that for long though, he just decided that if fate decided to make you a part of his life, then so be it.

And it begins all over again.

#self indulgent takoyaki #hahaha more jade #twst writing #twst #twst x reader #angst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland jade #jade leech x reader #twst jade #jade #jade leech #fem!reader

443 notes · View notes

beautifulterriblequeen · 3 years

Text

A Tiadrin theory

I woke up this morning with a sudden headcanon about Tiadrin, and as I poked at it, it filled out nicely, so I’m gonna go ahead and call it a theory at this point.

It gets angsty, as all good Moonshadow theories do. If your heart doesn’t weigh 6 tons by the time you reach the end of this post, I didn’t capture the feeling properly.

Several bits of detail flutter around this mysterious woman, and I’ve theorized various versions of her circumstances, her relationship with Runaan and Ethari, her former position before the Storm Spire, the reasons she went there, and the reasons Runaan was so hellbent on avenging her dishonor.

I don’t think any of them landed as well or tied together as neatly as this one, though. Hence “theory” instead of just “headcanon.” Here we go:

FIrstly, some meta information. This is a fun tweet, but in this post I’m looking directly at “belief systems as sources of both comfort and restraint” and at the “weight of guilt” and “cycles of trauma” lines, in regards to Moonshadow culture, and specifically Moonshadow assassin training.

And raise your hand if you’ve been looking further afield than the front-and-center Janaya-with-Soren nod from “ripped women who teach soft boys to stab,” because I have. TDP is full of parallels and imperfect mirrors.

So, in the spirit of soft yet angsty cycles and the ripped women who perpetuate them, Theory Part I: Tiadrin trained Runaan, because she was the leader of the assassins before he was.

She’s referred to as a mastermind. Assassin leaders need to be good with plans of all sizes. We’ve seen how Runaan silently adapts to chaos and doesn’t tell anyone what his new plans actually are. He’s a good leader. But he also had to learn those skills from someone. Whoever instructed him was a tactical genius, and also very Moonshadow, and Runaan was an adept student.

Also, Tiadrin is a goddamn badass. She’s several inches shorter than Lain, Runaan, Ethari, and Viren. But she is a powerhouse in battle. She knows her physics well enough to drag this 6′2″ human battle mage skidding across the floor. Monster thighs, monster intellect.

As a 5′4″ woman who trained in jujitsu for several years, let me just say: gender equality in battle is great, but physics does not care. It will crush your popsicle-stick ass if you try to chuck a 250 lb person across the room and your math is off. The most accurate fighters are the ones who know how hard physics hits back when you’re sloppy.

Tiadrin earned every inch of respect, and every inch of her thigh circumference, the old-fashioned way. She worked for it, all day every day. Runaan does the same thing. He might have half a foot of height on her, but he trains like the world will crush him if he’s not perfect. And that’s very Moonshadow assassin in its own right, because it will, and it tried. Tiadrin knew what she needed. And she knew what Runaan, soft boy that he is, needed. And she made sure she trained it into him, all day every day.

Tiadrin is one of the reasons that Runaan survived the fight in Harrow’s chamber. She made him the fighter he is, the person he is, and that was just enough to pull him through... so he could see his own mentor trapped in a coin. Yay, thanks Viren.

Theory Part II: Runaan’s squad was made up of all the elves Tiadrin has personally trained, or trained by proxy.

If Tiadrin was Runaan’s trainer and mentor, then her honor was his honor. And when she supposedly faltered and fled at the Storm Spire, that suddenly cast him, as an individual assassin and as the current assassin leader, in a terrible light. If his mentor was a coward, what did she teach him? Would he also duck and run when things got hopeless, and abandon his duty?

The doubt that must’ve swirled around him when the village learned the terrible news about Lain and Tiadrin must’ve sliced right through him. Thousand-yard stare, biggest internal Oh No ever. Runaan lives to serve his people, and to have them doubt him, after all he has done to train them and protect them from harm, would be the worst kind of pain. He had to make it right.

But not just him. Assassins seem to take solo missions even for their first kill, if Eljaal’s covered shoulders are any indication. You can Moonshadow your feels if you don’t have to watch your friend kill someone, if you don’t have anyone watching while you stab someone to death. You can pretend it’s all serene and just and smooth and valid and honorable. You can hold to your love of life and dance right past your embrace of death, if no one else sees it. But Runaan’s mission had 6 members. They were definitely going to have to watch each other murder people. Why?

Tiadrin’s honor was their honor. An extended family of brothers, sisters, cousins, fosterlings, anyone who was drawn to Tiadrin, or her to them, bonded together over their family feels and protective instincts. They were family. And then their leader fell, her honor crushed.

They had to make it right.

They all carried Tiadrin’s honor with their own, taught by her personally, regarded as honorable assassins. Until she seemed to have a fatal flaw in her character. Then everyone wondered if that flaw got passed down, too. The assassins had to prove that it hadn’t been, for the sake of their people, and for all of Xadia who trusted them to take out threats in the dark. They had to go set right Tiadrin’s “mistake” and take Harrow for Zym’s death. All of them. Every single one, no exceptions.

No exceptions. That’s why Rayla had to go, too. Tiadrin taught Runaan everything he knew about being an assassin, and when she moved to the Storm Spire, Runaan dutifully passed Rayla’s mother’s teachings to Rayla herself, feeling like part of the family, an essential connection between mother and daughter, between assassin mentor and mentee. He tried to get it just right, just perfect, so Rayla would feel like she’d been trained by her actual mom as much as possible. Not just because Tiadrin was Rayla’s mother, but because Runaan respects Tiadrin’s prowess so much. She was the best, and every bit of Runaan’s efforts to be his best reflects his respect for her.

You don’t get to be the assassin leader unless you’re the best there is. Runaan knows that from both sides. And just like Tiadrin did with him, he does his best to teach Rayla everything she needs to stay safe and alive, so she can do her duty too, and come home safe to her family every day.

And, in the end, part of that duty had to be avenging her mentor’s mentor, her own mother, by accompanying Runaan on his mission. Her lessons were from Tiadrin, one step removed. If there was a flaw in her training, no one would trust her when it was her turn to lead the assassins, and she’s not even done training yet! Rayla understood Moonshadow honor, assassin honor. She was driven to ask Runaan to take her with him, and he could see exactly where she was coming from. Their honor was tangled up with Tiadrin’s. They couldn’t back out. They had to go to Katolis, them and everyone else Tiadrin had trained.

That’s why the binding ribbons came out. They were in a do-or-die situation, in the most literal sense.

They could not go home in failure. If they all failed, it would take out a whole line of assassin training, possibly the same one that had lasted for countless generations (okay maybe we can count them and there are like 30) and crush the Moonshadows’ spirits. And they’d literally rather die than see that happen. They were all ready to give their lives to restore Tiadrin’s honor, and their own, because without her legacy, there would be such a crater in the assassin corps that it might never recover.

Yes, this is basically my angsty “Runaan’s found family went into battle together and most of them died” headcanon again, but this time with a solid theory behind it. I’m not sorry. I love this angsty idea, it’s horrible. Do you see the cycle of trauma? I’ve got one more part to add, which may make it clearer.

Theory Part III: Assassin leaders always go serve at the Storm Spire once they successfully train their own replacement.

In this theory’s version of Why Laindrin Went To The Storm Spire, Tiadrin was always going to end up at the Storm Spire, once she became the assassin leader. That’s where the veteran assassin leader goes, see, to liaison between the dragon throne and the current Moonshadow leader. They know the assassins’ skills far better than any Skywings or dragons do, and they know the leader in charge of them, so they can give guidance or direction as needed, or simply phrase the Dragon King or Queen’s request in such language that the assassin leader knows intuitively what really needs to be done.

Yeah, Tiadrin writing Runaan mission directives. I can see it.

Tiadrin’s mentor would’ve left for the Spire when Tiadrin got promoted to leader. The person she trusted most in the world, who had trained her, left her behind, only to communicate by long distance. Moonshadow deniability, amirite--we’re not stabbing people, we’re sending tactical correspondence, yep that’s it. But Tiadrin was still surrounded by Runaan and the other young assassins, and she bonded with them all, and life was bright.

Then, the shadow came once again. Runaan was an excellent student, and she knew he was ready. Maybe she delayed, and delayed, Moonshadowing her reasons. Maybe she wanted the chance to bring life into the world, to try to balance out some of the death she had dealt. Maybe she wanted a few more years of domestic life in the Silvergrove with all her favorite elves, to bolster her heart for the years to come. Maybe her mentor at the Spire was up to shenaniganry in dragon politics and she wanted to buy them more time to lay those plans in place.

Knowing Tiadrin even the slightest bit, I will assume it was all this and more. But eventually, she couldn’t put things off any longer. She had to go fulfill her duty to the dragon throne and join the Dragonguard as the representative of the Moonshadow assassins who had bound themselves to the protection of Xadia long ago. She had to walk away from her bright life, her family, her friends, her allies, and climb up into that misty stone tower, to spend who knows how long away from everything she knew and loved.

And she did. She chose to walk away, for love of Xadia. She took her beloved husband with her, but she left the Silvergrove, Xadia’s protection, and her own daughter’s upbringing in the hands of the elf she chose to replace her. The soft boy she’d taught to stab, who would teach her baby girl to stab, too.

Because this is The Way.

I know I’ve had an angsty headcanon that assassins don’t retire. But, consider this: maybe one of them can. One of Tiadrin’s many plans could have been counting on Runaan’s extreme prowess and devotion to Rayla. If Tiadrin knew that she could return to the Silvergrove in peace and retire there with Lain once Runaan trained Rayla to take his place as the assassin leader, then she could live in the Silvergrove again for the rest of her life, and also get to see Rayla grown big and strong and become the assassin leader herself, another proud elf in a long line of honor and tradition. She might feel that was a big accomplishment, considering the dangers they all face. And it would be.

Yes, this would hinge on the fact that Runaan would have to leave the Silvergrove to replace Tiadrin at the Storm Spire, to serve as Rayla’s liaison to the dragon throne. Cycles of trauma, remember? Tiadrin can’t have all of her family back in one place, ever again. She has to love and train someone enough to put them through the life that she’s having to live, and she has to be strong enough not to let that break her. And then, she has to choose between them. She chose Runaan first, so that she could hope to choose Rayla later. She trusted him with all the future happiness of her heart. And he did his best with it.

But they didn’t quite make it, in the end, because of Viren.

I know this has been a lot of angst. I know. But there is a moonlit lining to this theory, and I think we all need to consider it. If there is a cycle of taking the assassin leader out of the Silvergrove to serve the dragon throne for ancient promise reasons, then if that ancient promise is ever rescinded or redressed in an effective way, the family won’t need to keep yeeting loved ones out of its orbit. And if assassins cease to be a necessary evil as a result, then no one will have to leave, or stab, again. At least, not for the same angsty reasons. They could stay together and never need to leave again.

It won’t be easy to break such a cycle. It might be impossible. But if anyone can manage it, it’ll be Tiadrin, and her family.

extra headcanon for this theory:

Tiadrin, packing up for the Storm Spire: One last thing, Runaan.

Runaan, stoically attentive because what are feels on the day your mentor leaves you: Yes, Tiadrin?

Tiadrin: Ethari will need to pick an apprentice to replace him, too. He should start looking now.

Runaan: Why? Only the Silvergrove’s Master Craftsman gets to pick an apprentice, and Ethari isn’t--

Tiadrin: *wink” Not yet, he’s not.

Runaan: Tiadrin, please, what have you done?

Tiadrin: I want to come back here someday, Runaan. I want to see your good work with Rayla. And I can’t do that if you flat-out refuse to leave your husband when Avizandum calls for you to replace me. So he needs to be ready to leave, too.

Runaan: I, I, I would nev-- I couldn’t--

Tiadrin: *patting his shoulder briskly as she strides out* Mmhmm, sure thing, kid. The council votes him in next Thursday. Be good while I’m gone! I want to find this place exactly the way I’m leaving it. Lain, honey, get your coat!

Lain, in the next room: Yes, Tiadrin!

Runaan, soft-eyed, to the silence in her wake: Yes, Tiadrin.

#tdp #tdp theory #tdp angst #laindrin #tiadrin #runaan #rayla #tdp headcanons #i liked her before but now i adore her

98 notes · View notes

freereadingservice · 4 years

Text

PICK A QUESTION READING

Simply choose a question that resonates with you and proceed to your reading! All questions were inspired by the current transiting Scorpio moon.

1: What do I have to gain from being vulnerable?

2: How can I heal trust issues?

3: What is my intuition trying to tell me?

4: What am I currently transforming?

Group 1: What do I have to gain from being vulnerable?

You may have learned how to blend into your surroundings as a method of self-protection. As long as you don’t stick out you won’t feel the pain of rejection, right? Well, the guidance here is that you’ve unwittingly been carrying a burden around with you that is centered around this concept. Blending in for the sake of avoiding a certain kind of vulnerability - the vulnerability of being unique or different - has long since been damaging you and bringing delay to your growth’s progression. What you have to gain from vulnerability is major healing around your self expression, or your expression in general.

For some of you these wounds go deep, and they span back generations within your ancestry. Your familial patterns have passed down this conscious fear of rejection that is acted out through self-sacrificing conformity. By breaking out and letting your walls down you can heal a lot of these patterns and not continue to pass them on.

Another reward that comes from vulnerability is that of finally being released from the soul-crushing expectations others may have confined you in over the years. By acting in ways that show who you truly are you are able to gain a sense of liberation that may not come through other means. A specific clarity will be gifted to you and is yours to claim if you reach out in this way and choose growth over comfort; you might even feel yourself propelled toward a phase in your life of achieving major things. It’s possible to release the stagnancy and exhaustion that is brought about by holding up your walls, and in any case the advice here is that liberation, expansion and authenticity is available to you if you choose to be more vulnerable.

Group 2: How can I heal trust issues?

Your message may seem odd, but it’s somewhat simple: trust is an internal process, not an external one. When you feel yourself growing bitter from ended relationships (of any kind) and you feel as though you won’t trust anyone ever again, ask yourself if trust is really contingent on the past at all. Is the concept of trust, in a whole and healing sense, really summed up by the phrase “lesson learned”? We make decisions about new people partly based on how much pain we feel we can handle from them, and in a sense this is us judging ourselves. Do we trust ourselves to recover from the hypothetical pain we perceive is going to be inflicted upon us by someone we don’t know, or will we close ourselves up and blame the other, whoever the other may be? Trust yourself to choose the “right” people, rather than be fearful of how they may change your life. Everything and everyone is what was needed at a specific time, and to blame yourself for “falling for it again” is to blame yourself for being open to growth and new experiences. It’s more likely you fear your own reaction to someone’s actions than you fear anything they can really do to you emotionally. Assure yourself that no matter what happens, you can and will recover and grow from new people and new situations.

The thing about growth and the transformation of pain is that it’s not an obvious process. This is another message I’m being called to include in here. Some of you are frustrated at repeating patterns, and not giving yourself credit for how much you are transforming, transmuting and changing. This is a process that needs your faith; you are growing and it will eventually show, even if it takes years, it will show if you trust yourself enough to go through it and come out the other side better than you are now.

Group 3: What is my intuition trying to tell me?

You may be feeling that you want to move forward, away from something that’s draining you, and deep down you feel like you’re settling for less than you’ve been working toward. You’ve put a lot of time and energy into a situation, but instead of being nurtured and receiving adequate rewards/compensation from it, you feel drained and deprived of vitality. It’s possible you’re afraid to even ask yourself what else it out there, as alternative options on a tangible level seem grim. You may even feel as though you need mountains of evidence that back up your hunches in terms of what direction to go toward, but your intuition is telling you that you have all the evidence you could need at this time about this particular thing in your life.

The clearest message I got for you is that your intuition wants you to know it’s time for you to make a decision. Even if you worry you’re being judgmental and entitled by expecting better, it’s time to make this decision regardless. No matter what you choose, you know that it’s not in your best interest to have your energy depleted and, in a sense, stolen from you; it looks as though you’ve been carrying the results of whatever situation this is around with you for a while. The way you’re feeling now is evidence enough that you can and should move forward to something more ideal for your time, emotions and energy. You may think you’re missing some practical or logical information that will assist you in the decision making process, when in reality this is a time to listen to your gut feeling.

Pay attention to your energy, as it will tell you when certain situations in your life have expired and reached their limit of usefulness. If you are pursuing something that flattens your energy and brings you a sense of dread or obligation, this is likely your intuition alerting you to the fact that something better will come along if you reach for it. I’m getting that perhaps some of you have prominent clairsentience abilities, which is the type of intuitive ability based on feeling. You’re able to accurately read into something just by paying attention to how it makes you feel. You may be at a time in your life now where this ability is waiting to be claimed.

Group 4: What am I currently transforming?

For this group I picked up on some fears around time passing, and some possible past issues of time management. You potentially fear or focus on time being stolen or wasted, as it seems as though there’s always something you could be missing out on. Life’s possibilities can often bring you anxiety, but the message is that this is something you’re healing right now. If not right at this moment already, it’s possible you’ll soon be finding yourself wanting to be more grounded and accepting of the present moment. There are some wounds here around expectation vs reality, and it seems you’re transforming yourself into a more patient and forgiving person with each disappointment you face. I feel you’ve experienced a lot of setbacks and it has potentially created a survival response of panicking when something doesn’t happen quickly enough, or when you think you’re entering a period of stagnant energy where things aren’t progressing.

The message here is mostly that this is a time to really get grounded. It’s a time to remove things from your routine that distract you from your emotions, as they are here not to hurt you but to bring you clarity. Spend more time being mindful within the now, and less time thinking you need to be in the next place pursuing the next big thing. You may currently be transforming guilt or regret from actions you took in the past into learning opportunities that will help you be content with who you are in the present moment. Either way there is a major theme here of gaining victory over confusion through the acceptance of emotions within the now. It may seem as though what you feel will distract you and divert you from progress you want to make in the material world, but you may be surprised at how much can come from just letting things flow.

That’s it for this reading. Thanks to anyone who participated! Decks used: Radiant Rider Waite and “The Tantric Dakini Oracle”

To get a free personal reading just submit a reading request!

#tarot #divination #free tarot reading #free readings #spirituality #healing #tarot comunity #rider waite #pick a card #pick a card reading #writing #oracle #oracle cards #oracle card reading

42 notes · View notes

karezzasstuff · 3 years

Text

SPIRITUAL Buddha

INFORMATION ABOUT LIFE AND THAT THINGS A PEOPLE NEEDS SOMETIMES

HOW TANTRA BRINGS YOUR INTENSE TOGETHER

"Cumshot is not important, but the contact with each other": how tantra gives you a more intense sex life

“In tantra sex, we slow down, feel and enjoy everything that happens in the body and learn to surf the waves of ecstasy that trigger all those feelings all over your body.” The lockdown forced us to slow down, with more time for ourselves and each other. And that makes tantra more relevant than ever. The Eastern attitude to life ensures a better connection with yourself and a more intense sex life. Expert Inge Leemans explains how this works and how you can use it yourself in bed, together or alone. “You create a deeper desire and a fuller orgasm.

”When you hear the word 'tantra', you may think of a couple in bed who - with or without the guidance of a dubious guru - do their best to slow down the orgasm before the explosion. Duh, you think. Why should I inflict such harm on myself? Expert Inge Leemans of Rising Heart (Inge gives tantric workshops and initiation lessons to both singles and couples, ed.) immediately dismisses this assumption as a misunderstanding.

“Tantra is about much more than sex. It is an Eastern way of life over a thousand years old that contains 112 meditation techniques, only four of which deal with sexuality. You can use tantra to breathe more consciously, walk, eat and drink ... In the West, the sexual aspect of tantra does play a greater role, that's right. But even then it is not necessarily about delaying an orgasm.”

Tantra is used therapeutically: think of couples with an unsatisfactory sex life, but also of people who suffer from stress.Inge Leemans, Rising Heart

“Tantra offers you possibilities to create an expansion of consciousness through sexuality. Tantra is a loving life path that does not focus on 'must' but on 'may'. And that has benefits that extend far beyond the bedroom. A tantric attitude to life ensures that you become more aware of what is happening inside and outside your body, so that you channel energy more easily to what really matters and thus more easily let go of what is not important. This way you get closer to your unique self. And don't we all want that?”

Greater meaning

Inge Leemans: “On the one hand, Tantra is used therapeutically when a specific problem arises: for example, couples with an unsatisfactory sex life, but also for people who suffer from stress. On the other hand, there are also many people who seek meaning. In that case Tantra can provide a deeper fulfillment of life, for a greater spiritual connection.”

“People are increasingly searching. While in the past we were mainly concerned with survival – our grandparents had to put bread on the table – today we live in a society in which our basic needs are met and we can afford to go in search of greater consciousness. That also explains the success of tantra and other forms of meditation.”

slow sex

Let's talk about sex. The promise of tantra sex means that we feel more like making love and experience more intense orgasms. And leave those two things high on many a female wish list.

Inge Leemans: “Most people experience sex from a state of tension and excitement, with the aim of discharging. People prefer to make love when they are in love and when there is sexual attraction. In this way, dopamine (happiness hormone) is released, something to which we become addicted. That can be a pitfall. In any relationship, the strong attraction wears off after a while and then many couples turn to attributes or other partners—quick fixes—to recreate that same feeling.”

With tantra sex we slow down, feel and enjoy everything that happens in the body.Inge Leemans, Rising Heart

“Tantrace sex works more on oxytocin (love hormone). You achieve this by caressing, cuddling, looking each other in the eye. Tantra sex therefore does not necessarily start from tension and sexual drive, but from relaxation and love. It's not about cumming, it's about the contact itself. When you make love – with yourself or with someone else – from a feeling of relaxation and not under the pressure of the tension you feel in your pelvis, oxygen and blood will spread better throughout your body and not just centralize in that pelvis. .”

“With tantra sex we slow down, feel and enjoy everything that happens in the body (all emotions are welcome) and we learn to surf the waves of ecstasy that trigger all those feelings all over your body. This way you will feel a greater connection with the world around you, create a deeper desire and experience a fuller orgasm.”

Tantra @ home

Would you like to start it yourself? Inge Leemans developed some simple exercises for singles and couples. They improve your mental well-being and your sexual appetite.

ONLY1. meditate. Sit down and focus your attention on the inside of your body: What is bubbling in your stomach? How is your breathing? Do you feel strong? … Let all the feelings come in. That seems simple, but it isn't. Our head is alert to external stimuli and our mind is constantly wandering. It is important to be aware of this and to return to your body every time. Try to meditate for ten minutes a day.

2. Love yourself. Self-love is not the same as masturbation, where we try to reach arousal and climax as quickly as possible. Self-love is about love for your body without a goal, it's about contact with your body itself. Instead of taking a quick shower to get clean, feel intensely lathering yourself and then rinsing. And instead of masturbating to cum, caress yourself and discover how those touches feel on your skin. Do not touch yourself directly on the erogenous zones, but invite other sensations by touching your body lovingly in other places. Take breaks when the excitement gets too great. At some point, your body takes over and you create so-called valley orgasms, where you feel contractions and ecstasy all over your body and not just in your vagina.

TOGETHER1. Embrace each other. A hug in rest mode, five minutes a day. You are not comforting or coveting, but just embracing, both of you breathing calmly. This exercise is important for your bond of love. Release the oxytocin.

2. Look into each other's eyes. Sit opposite each other in silence and stare into each other's eyes for five minutes. Try to bring some of your attention into your body (what am I feeling?) and some of the attention into the contact (I see you). For some couples it feels familiar, for others it is very uncomfortable. Then share your feelings: Did you feel your heart opening? Did you find it boring? Did you feel relaxed? Did you miss connection?

3. Link! When exercise 2 feels comfortable, you can move on to the next step. When you link or communicate in a connecting way, you each take turns describing what you perceive while looking at the other. Not: 'Your hair looks good today'. Well: 'Looking at you makes me happy' or 'I feel a certain distance between us'. Always from yourself and from the question: 'What does this do to me?'

4. The meditative touch. With a tantra touch you again put half of the attention in your own body, and that turns out to be a major shift for many. Usually people are purposeful in their touches. We touch someone in the hope that they will like it, or get excited. This time you touch someone solely for the sake of the contact itself. Instead of thinking 'What does that touch do to the other person?', you feel what that touch does to you.

5. Predict. Touch each other sensually and carefully, but avoid the erogenous zones or you will quickly relapse into a pattern of rapid arousal. This works wonders especially for the female body. Do this for at least 20 minutes.

6. Tantra sex. When you feel a lot of excitement, it is advisable to take enough breaks so that you are always in the moment. This also applies if you are already entwined. While making love, make eye contact, breathe together and take the time to go back into your body and feel the waves. Try to hold that awareness of your body for longer and longer. Remember: practice makes perfect and with an open mind you will achieve more. If your urge for sensation is too great or if you have little feeling for spirituality, then tantra is not obvious. Tantra is the turning from sensation to the sensitive. Those who can make the sensory switch will after a while feel ecstasy throughout the body and enjoy a deeply fulfilling feeling.'

SOURCE: https://www.hln.be/seks-en- Relaties/maken-is-niet-belangrijk-wel-het-contact-met-elkaar-hoe-tantra-je-een-intenser-seksleven-bezorgt~ ad288dce/

I can write endlessly about tantra. Because as I always start who hears tantra thinks of the word sex. No folks it's much more than that. Is more than those minutes when you cum. Tantra is enjoying body and mind. Is conveying feelings to each other. Touch plays an important role here. But also looking and your breathing. Looking and touching is feeling. Your breathing is calming your body. This way you bring each other to a different level to experience something. It is sharing with each other and this with an open feeling. It is therefore important that you start with yourself and your own body. Only if you know that, then you can also pass this on. Tantra is not focused on cumming but on enjoying each other. Intense enjoyment out of full love. When people feel the need for sex it comes down to one thing. cumming and who often cums the man. The woman is sometimes left with a lot of unanswered feeling. That is why I think it is good that such a text is sometimes published in booklets. And then one can only hope those who read it read it in a different way. The way of feeling and feeling.

Here's a site where the best books can be found; https://hetnlpcollege.nl/beste-tantra-boeken/

I have a few of these on my bookshelf myself.

People know that tantra is more than sex.

Know that you are working with your whole body.

Know that it has to do with your senses and those of the other.

Know that you must first know your own body.

And can you share that.

That Tantra is spiritual practice to increase your consciousness and to bring the masculine and feminine energies together. Tantra is the key to sexual pleasure and mental strength, obtained through rituals.

AUM NAMASTE BUDDHA BRUNO

Om Shanthi,

one must be able to connect spiritual and earthly

AUM MANI PADME HUM

#yabyum #joy #karezza #nirvana #yoga #love #meditation #unconditionallove #tantra #maithuna

17 notes · View notes