#you know never in a million years did I think I’d have younger ppl in my family coming to me for comfort abt these things

[transgnckon]

I can’t even lie that a little bit of the reason I felt more motivated to cut my hair is bc my cousin. Like I know he’s trans. Has he told anyone?? No, but like he carries around his trans pride stuff with little pronoun charms so when he cut his hair like against his like his moms own wishes every time I look at him I just wanted to cry

[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

[mister-mickey]

Tim x Darry headconnons plz (like if they can get married or what is it like if they have an adopted child) SORRY TO ASK SO MUCH I just love this ship and its really my favorite one

THANK YOU🙏🏻

Omg tarry is my favorite pairing, I have made these little ship headcanons as well (tarry hcs)

BUT onto these ones

They mostly bond over being both the leaders of their respective gangs and over taking care of their younger siblings ❤️

They are terrible with emotions, communication between them is like pulling teeth 😭

They also have a hard time with each others siblings. Darry CANT STAND curly and is scared of Angela. Tim gets along with both pony and soda but anytime he gets them into trouble darry gets mad at him.

He’s really rather not piss his beau off

They’ve known each other since they were kids (thanks to living in the same area) but were never friends. It was only really after Darry got more involved in greaser stuff that they got along lol

Tim can’t cook for shit. He tries but it sucks so bad. Darry keeps trying to help him but Tim is unhelpable.

Darry is aware that Tim can handle himself, but still gets protective when ppl talk about him. Tim gets mad every time (but also does the same thing)

And omg I’m all the way into this list realizing that I did not answer the other part of the question so I’ll do that now

So for marriage (not legal for homos in the 60s sadly, so I’m sure it’s just a celebration among friends and family) it probably takes them awhile. I can’t imagine either of them really wanting to settle straight away. Maybe they’re in their late twenties/early thirties

Tim probably moves into Darry’s house after pony and soda move out (and after angie and curly are well off enough to be alone)

Tim probably stops gang life in his twenties, just because he gets older and more mature (and not cool anymore) darry stops once the others stop.

For the wedding, again, family and friends. Probably in the form of a cookout at their house. They get rings but I don’t think either of them wear them (they don’t seem like jewellry wearers. They probably keep them on chains around their necks)

Pony officiates lol. Idk I just feel like he would. Soda cries the whole time (Steve has to physically pull him off of darry)

I imagine dally and curly pulling some sort of nonsense at the wedding to piss Tim off (yes I’m choosing to keep dally and Johnny alive)

Tim’s gang isn’t really his family, at this point in his life, he probably doesn’t even know them anymore. So it’s just curly and Angela at the wedding for him.

Darry ofc is the one that people came to see (mr star of the show)

As for a kid, I’d like to say they probably wouldn’t have one, at least not for a while. They both raised their little siblings, they aren’t eager to do it again.

BUT it’s also cute to imagine them having a baby (especially because of how tim is canonically good with babies)

Idk where they got it. Maybe it was left in their doorstep, idk. Fact is, they have a child

Tim wants to be the cool dad but darry has taken that spot without even trying.

Baby adores darry because he’s strong and can throw it in the air ❤️

Tim is jealous ofc. He’s way cooler than darry, the baby just isn’t smart enough to see that yet

Baby still loves him a lot though 🌸

They’re good dads. Not perfect ofc, but they love the baby and the baby loves them.

Now as for the baby’s one million uncles and one aunt.

Angela LOVES the baby. Like, darry is worried she will steal it. She’s always trying to get the baby to say her name (baby calls her “Ana”)

Twobit is next on people taht are obsessed with the baby. I’m sure he has his own kids (seems like the type tbh) but the baby is DARRYS kid. He can’t wait until it’s old enough to be a bad influence on

Dallas is not allowed near the baby because Tim refuses to put the baby down when he’s around (he thinks dally will somehow corrupt his >1 year old and make it dally jr)

Soda is the best uncle by far. He and Johnny are very soft with the baby. Soda is, however, guilty of dropping the baby. He is no longer allowed to hold the baby.

Johnny is scared to hold the baby, but once it’s walking he will play (very gently)

Steve, curly, and pony are the babies worst enemies. Baby fucking hates them so much and it breaks their hearts.

Baby bites steve any chance it gets. Hits him, grabs his nose (which everyone else thinks is adorable but Steve sees it for the attack that it is) Steve has no clue what he did but the baby is his #1 hater

Baby doesn’t like pony. Wont even look at him. Pony adores the baby and this rejection hurts.

Curly and the baby tussle quite often. Baby loves yanking his curls (getting its grubbing fingers tangled in, as someone with baby experience, ow ow ow) if the baby pulls his hair, he pulls the baby’s hair right back. They are sworn enemies.

He loves the baby ofc but keeps a careful distance.

Baby grows up to be an okay kid. Can’t do anything without darry or tim finding out since they both know EVERYONE.

Idk someone name the baby my brain is mush

[stargazerinmoksha]

“i thought i was going to a place where i could really love myself, but the more i head there the more i realize, i still fucking loathe myself. what a fucking nightmare that is me. i’m not getting any younger. i’m aging, i don’t feel healthy, i’m not a good son, i’m not a good brother, i’m a shitty human being, i can’t even keep myself smiling. how can i take care of someone else if i can’t even take care of myself? you know something crazy? i was brushing my teeth and i saw my reflection inside of the faucet and for a second, all of that anger and bitterness— it just went away. i just saw that kid deep inside of myself that just forgot how to play or rather scared to because we learned to close ourselves up as to not get hurt again, but how can you live a life peacefully or even a life worth living, a life worth shouting out to your grandchildren, when i tell my grandchildren (if i do get any ofc) about my life, what exactly am i going to tell them? you know all my life, i’ve struggled with a concrete identity. that’s why i’m attracted to people who know themselves really well. like truly and genuinely. i almost soak in it. i almost bathe in it. ritualistically, if you can come off as you have some sort of shit figured out, i’m zoned in and i’m listening to you. when i saw myself in my reflection, i thought to myself— how many nights have you called yourself stupid? and that shit almost made me cry because don’t we all do that? i’m so tired of smiling when i don’t feel like it, telling ppl i’m ok especially if i’m clearly not okay, yo like i’m just tired of being motherfucking tired. you know? life is suffocating man, it is. but there’s always that little sliver of hope that maybe, if i made it past this, then maybe, maybe i’d catch a break. but lately i’ve been thinking, maybe we all will catch a break once we’re dead. how many years do you actually spend sleeping? death has always been around the corner, why else did we cry as newborns? our last memory from the past life, that shit made us cry. maybe when we die, we get a second chance and right before you are born with your flesh and bones, maybe you have a good look at your past and go damn, i don’t want to fuck this up too. life is so beautiful. isn’t it? my mind is racing so fucking hard right now. my mind is melting into my words like candle wax that can’t tell the difference between the flame and the wick, we need a spark to set us off into our paths of life. maybe we’ve never really been off that path. maybe there’s always a million different tunnels and no matter what you pick, it’ll always lead you back to where you need to be.”

—when i asked the ocean about the rain

[hamsterrivals]

ok, so.

I made a youtube video, of me narrating Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I was wondering for awhile if it would be ok to upload a video that’s just directly an anime episode of Ashita no Joe.

I thought partly, maybe it would be ok, since that anime came out like before 1970 or something so maybe it’s free domain,

but nah. It is blocked. I can’t find the video at all.

but, that isn’t going to stop me..

I will do the impossible, (even though I am depressed, about someone I know. irl)

and narrate Ashita no Joe episode 4.

I made a whole video of me narrating it with my voice. but it’s blocked aaaa. I refuse to let it go, though.

giga..drill...breakeriswhat I’d say but I am too depressed about someone I know irl.

Ok so anyways, this was gonna be a YouTube video, especially cuz-- [had to delete the explanation] anyways here:

[deleted stuff.....] ...

anyways here:

oh shizzat its 4am I’m fluffin’ tired. so I’m just gonna skim the episode and post screenshots argh my foot is pulsating as I type that as if my entire body is thinking “wow I know you re-watched Ashita no Joe episodes again yesterday but you should watch the whole episode again its godly” I’m sorry ewotjwte its just almost 4am and I had to wake up at 10am yesterday.

the opening plays. and then:

that one guy that is like my dad reads about my stuff

Jebus freakin’ RICE I’m tired. But I need to do something productive today cuz after I woke up at 10am for my social worker I was tired and drained all day from hearing the voices of the people upstairs and the noise in the wall.

my dad I mean Danpai keeps reading the newspaper (like how in -- gah nevermind [deleted cuz I’m paranoid about what [NEVERMIND deleted the explanation]] and

my freakin’ dad I mean Danpai gets mad at Joe just like

I DELETED [can’t say] like 8 years ago cuz of that time when I [=/ Can’t say the details]

GOSH DARN IT this is just like something irl and I can’t even say what it is because I’m too paranoid about people [deleted explanation here]

ok so basically Joe is super successful and doing good things in this world but no one believes him cuz his stupid azz danpai adopted dad figure is a dumb bummie, and then

and then I wanna explain 99 lines but we’re not even 2 minutes into the episode, so I guess I have to skip some parts; I mean it is 4am after all

and then

ok so there’s this snobby lady (at the time ? perhaps she changes at the very very very very end but I won’t give any spoilers about how the very final episode goes itjewiot btw I literally watched this anime starting from the very last episode cuz someone said this series has best ending in anime/manga of all time, and then I started back at early episodes after that, when I first watched this however years ago,)

and then

yes we printed this article cuz .. you’re trustworthy and popular but Joe is just an unpopular guy who helps out orphans and gives his money away to help out orphans

ya know how when I watched the first 11 episode with [won’t say but the guy that begins with Sau and ends with ce that I was friends with for 15 years and he kept making fun of it multiple times in the chat saying “More like a shit a joe.”] well these guys are like wow Joe is a delinquent cuz he is helping out orphans

wow Yabuki Joe used an alt account or some shiz and made a complete lie to try to help society for the better like making a peaceful game and then I mean boxing I mean waterver and then

no one believes ni the main character Joe who is LITERALLY helping out local orphans; and they’re basically like just jealous of him and twisting the truth to make him look bad is what these snobby popular people are doing t hat actually have friends unlike the wondering loner Joe Yabuki,

this very popular snobby lady who actually has friends unlike ab- Yabuki Joe doesn’t care that Joe is actually being helpful and wants to make projects that will bring peace to this world, she will not give him a chance because she cares more about appearances and keeping up her reputation.

....She takes on the full pressure and responsibilty. But can she handle it?

they’re basically like “uhhh do you have [deleted in case it comes off as offensive, since I know some others that make fun of that stuff >=\ which I don’t like either cuz I get made fun of [the deleted thing] too . It shouldn’t even have to be deleted >=\ but I was in a [DELETED] and they made fun of [the deleted thing] so I guess it has to be [deleted] which is so sad for this world ??] and so

the really cool person who *doesn’t reveal spoilers of the end of the series aa* says please leave Train- Yabuki Joe to me !!

i have faith in him he totally will not somehow break this faith that I vaguely have in him and am kinda too shy to publicly admit..

I wonder what Joe is feeling like right now and doing:

s o anyways Joe keeps laughing 99 times in this episode, and, cuz he knows he’s right and just helping out orphans and people that aren’t popular and too afraid to join the b- never mind.

some of his followers don’t respond to his long rants and are like maybe he is going too far and should back down fro mthe very popular snobby lady

Yabuki Joe laughs again

he says What’s the matter with you!? Stop siding with the very popular lady that actually has friends and a good reputation who is a stuck up and like do what is right instead of what . will make people think better of you even if you know in your hear that maybe it might be wrong.

The snobby lady posted on Twit- I mean irl the anime known as Ashita no Joe the they posted a screenshot of me saying “I have family.....” and they mocked him saying “Um.... I have family too....?” as her followers mocked Yabuki Joe on twitter in the 1970s anime or something,

but family isn’t what matters, everyone has family,

what matters is that you all still have a poor reputation because you have no friends which I think is 100% ok but the stuck-up lady who hates Joe for some reason atm just cares about how they’re rich in [deleted snarky remarks] reputation.

stop caring about the dislikes and haters and appreciate the supporters that you do have;;.

yabuki Joe says F THE HATERS THIS IS Just the beginning of [would say but I wanna here but X_X; [deleted the reason why I won’t] because of [deleted] because of [deleted]]

,y gpa; s 1 million followers cuz then they at least know what is right

in this world.

and then joe is like

and then;

then he’s like yea in my heart I know its good to have that many followers cuz I know the true true truth about Yabuki Joe the anime and manga character from Ashita no Joe, he just wants that many followers to program an indie game about- I mean anyways

they say

[OK WHAT THEH ECK I SERIOUSLY DID RECORD A VIDEO OF ME JUST NARRATING THIS ENTIRE EPISODE AND I uploaded it yesterday on a video sharing site but it is blocked cuz of copyrighted content aaa even though this was from before  1970 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa now I gotta explain in text instead of voice like I already did last night AAAAAAAAAAaa]

they say But what would you do with that much power, that many internet I mean irl followers in 197o in Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series?

and then Yabuki Joe says teh

then he’s like What the gosh darn shiz in yoshville mans,

and then

and they’re like Look Yabuki Joe lives in a Terrible place with Terrible living conditions wher e brick dust keeps falling down and then

and like Joe has no problems like getting kawaii innocent ppl to follow him, but the others are a bit suspicious.. of Joe and his behavior..

Joe is like i’m gonna build a huge online hamster game soon.

and then someone tells Abu in tumblr messages I mean they tell

Someone tells Yabuki Joe as you can see if you flippin’ watch the episode yourself (I don’t blame you. I hope someone will check this series out, though. It’s my favorite anime series, to be honest.) anyways and then someone from his fandom of - anyways someone says

He’s so full of himself.

I guess you suffer from delusions of grandeur?

the bully who is even in the same exact fandom as ab- Yabuki Joe of being an orphan says that, and because they’re so big inside, people blindly listen to them.

the true actual innocent follower that knows trainerab- Yabuki Joe is actually honest and truthful is like, wow shut the fak up brah, and then:

Then the “Are you sure you don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur?” doubtful follower who is keeping an eye on Ab-Yabuki Joe I mean and watching over him to try to keep the orphanage safe falsely then says “This is a clown. See this clown? Abu is hiring th I mean Yabuki Joe had this younger person defend him” Wow and then

one of the only innocent ppl in this show besides Yabuki Joe and a bunch of later characters in this series in later episodes that happen soon, know Joe really is telling the truth and that he really is honest and she’s pizzed awf at that hater troll person trying to Provoke joe and such on [deleted] anime & manga series Ashita no Joe the anime/manga series, and then

then they’re like, uh oh maybe Joe does have some loyal followers who know the real truth and we should hold our distance and see what he does and what he is truly like, first, and then

so, then

so then Yabuki Joe shows them their steam profile and the gam I mean the BY- I mean

Joe is like ok I played retro games my whole life and watched cool cartoons like the Rugrats and I play cool games and twisted trolls like the snobby girl try to make it look like I “change my interests to appease others” but come into my YouTube channel office and c the truth that I really DID play a lot of SNES games and then

I mean Yabuki Joe says this is my office and this is where I live,

I live in a factory that rains brick dust,

and then,

AND THEN I WANNA NARRATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE BUT IT IS FREAKIN’ 4:35am and I gotta get up soon

I mean I flippin’ already narrated this entire episode and commented on it etc. and made a cool video of it but YouTube blocked it AAAAAAAA even tho it was an anime made in

1970 I thought it would be free domain by now and o.k. to upload a video of it to YouTube with audio commentary GOSH AAAaaaa GOSH I WANNA NARRATE THE WHOLE EPISODE

AS I SAID IN THE youtube video that is blocked on YouTube I think it is a requirement cuz like it really pejeroyjoirjyorejijioe

ok have a nice night.

[aro-aizawa]

1 and 42?

yesssssssss i love these kinds of questions. thank you anon for enabling me. (disclaimer: i am a fanfic writer so these’ll be answered in fanfic writing in mind.)

[the questions]

1. Tell us about your WIP!

okay i have like ten million different wips but the one i’m primarily working on is a mha fic of mine. called because i have to it’s a quirkless vigilante izuku fic, where he’s biologically all might’s son and inko and all might are qpps. when izuku asks his mom if he can still be a hero without a quirk as a kid, instead of just saying sorry, she tells him no that it’s not safe.

this fic came about when i got tired of seeing the overwhelming villain au fics. like. they’re not bad but an izuku that is in no way someone who fight villains is just...wrong to me. because to me, izuku has such an overwhelming drive and to him it’s almost a need that he helps people and becomes a hero. it’s just as essential to him as breathing. so if he were ever prohibited from being an official hero.....well this boy will not take something as silly as the law consideration. he’ll get his ass out on that street and he WILL fight those villains and save people.

so the whole fic is izuku trying to fight and prove to the world that he can be a quirkless hero. he pretends to his parents that he’s given up on that dream, but hey he knows that gen ed students can transfer in the hero course if they prove themselves........

(too bad izuku doesn’t know that his dad is on the teaching staff of ua. oh did i not mention? izuku has no idea his dad is all might.)

i’m not usually a super big fan of biological all might, but without the thread of one for all being a connector between them, i needed some sort of connection (bc honestly this was also a call out of all might’s views on quirkless ppl too). and i’m usually sort of averse for shipping toshinko if it’s solely for parental dadmight reasons, so bio dad. if i had to start over again, i’d probably adjust this to be that when izuku was little, all might officially became qpps with inko after her husband ran out on her. buuut it’s a little too late to go back and change it now, especially since originally i had it written for the toshinko to be romantic in nature, but decided i liked it better as qpps.

so that’s the wip i’m working on!!! i have a plan for it to wrap up just a little bit after the kamino arc but like.*squints at my lastest chapter which is only just starting to wrap up the first arc in the series* um,,,, that might,,, take a while lmao.

42. How many drafts do you usually write before you feel satisfied? 

okay, so here’s the thing. when i was younger and just getting into writing, i’d write like. three or four drafts for each chapter. because i’d do the bare minimum on the first one, just get the action and rough dialogue in. then the second one would be refinement, this one starting to look like an actual chapter to be posted (even though i rarely ever posted anything at that time). during which, i’d always leave them for like. a few months, maybe six. when i came back, i’d see all the errors and my writing style would have changed dramatically. so time for draft number three!!! and then repeat.

but i only ever made so many drafts because i was procrastinating on actually writing the next chapter. i think the highest i ever got up to was chapter 9. when i hit a road block, i’d decide to go back and redo it all again, eventually running out of steam before i even finished what i’d already done. repeat continously until i have six drafts of the same fic but refined down to about 20k words and 4 chapters.

so! i try not to do that anymore. it just. it doesn’t work. it really really doesn’t. because that way i never get it to a state where i’m comfortable enough to post it, and then i’ll end up posting like 10 fics where i only have one chapter posted and the rest’ll be abandoned because i just cannot get the next chapter right and need to keep making more and more drafts.

when a chapter isn’t fighting me though, i tend to have two drafts technically. i’ll write out the chapter, if it’s for my fic biht, i’ll send it off to my betas and merge all their corrections into one final form, which is the final draft and that’s the one i just copy-paste into the chapter section and then reread it to make sure all my formatting sticks then post.

if it’s a non-beta’d fic, what i’ll do is i’ll have the final product, the chapter or the one shot i want to post. and what i’ll do is i’ll put the draft on one side of my screen and the ao3 upload thing on the other side. and i’ll retype everything. this way i’m going back over it and adjusting wonky sentence structures as i go, because it helps me spot more mistakes if i have to retype them rather than just rereading them. my brain has to think more abt the stuff i’m typing rather than the stuff i’m reading y’know?? plus the different fonts help! my google docs have a different font to the upload section of the ao3 page, so that is another thing that helps my brain spot issues. if you have difficulty finding mistakes, change the font. as much shit as it gets, comic sans is also a great font for this. when i’m done retyping everything out, the second and final draft is done and i’ll usually post it right then and there, bc i’m impatient and i love posting shit.

i mean. you wouldn’t expect that considering i haven’t updated in well over a year and a half but still.

tysm for asking!!!! sorry it was such a long response lmao

[effyeffa]

how did you decide for sure that you wanted to drop out? and was it hard adapting to your new major? im also kind of worried about feeling like i'd feel as if im dragging behind bc i already did two years and if i change majors I'll be with ppl younger than me so yeah

right this is gonna be a long answer so I’ll put it under a cut!

ok so first of all i spent three full years in med school i know how you feel. it literally doesn’t matter. like that’s just a mindset you have to adapt time does not matter you can start smth new any time! i’ve met so many ppl who like started studying at 30 and one of my family’s close friends got another degree at like 60 it’s NO big deal. and if your experience has been anything like mine those years weren’t wasted either, i’m sure you learned many important things! i’ll never look back on that time bitterly because i did enjoy so much of it. ultimately i had to make a decision for my future which i rarely do and it was very hard, yes, but it took such a huge weight off my shoulders. i think the final straw for me was when a professor asked me in the middle of a practical exam whether i thought this was the right path for me (because for a multitude of reasons i was quite literally crying with my hands in a dead body asdsgjkhgfh) which was horrible and unproductive but it did remind me the environment i had put myself into. like that’s just what it’s like in the medical field and it’s not just med school i see my friends now who start working at hospitals and come home crying almost every day because of the disrespectful way their superiors treat them. i mean i’m sure there’s medical systems in other countries that work better but that’s what it’s like here (germany) and in many other places as well i’m sure. i used to romanticise that shit so hard. like, insane levels of glorification of the overworked career machines who numb themselves and are proud of that numbness are fed to us daily by stupid procedurals on tv!! and once i realised i was only dreaming up a job that never existed in real life making that decision became a little easier. the biggest struggle for me was i actually loved working the clinic (interning with the nurses) but i was once again glorifying such an unhealthy inhumane work environment that could only ever make me happy short term and would be unsurvivable long term. 

adapting to the BA program i’m in now was difficult but only in the sense that I’ve always had difficulties with the constricts of academia (which for sure wasn’t helpful in med school) but after my first exams i very quickly realised i’d be able to do this, and that navigating those issues i have is much easier when the subject actually excites me, i think that’s the biggest difference. now i enjoy the process, i’m not working for some imaginary goal at the end of an endless tunnel. and i immediately found my people as well which was much harder in med school! which i think that’s such an important part of this, surrounding yourself with people who inspire you to learn more outside of uni. in med school i felt like year after year i just got dumber because i was so drained, wasn’t reading any books for fun or getting ANY other input than all the things we had to memorise brainlessly. and there were so, so, so many other people who changed majors a million times and were starting over again, i think it’s becoming much more common, especially in the humanities. nobody ever made me feel out of place for being a few years older because most other subjects are much more mixed groups anyways. 

i think making that decision was a lot like... not to sound cliché but i was drowning and i needed to do that to be able to breathe again. something that helped me tremendously was talking to other people who had dropped out (thank god i already gravitated towards those ppl back then for SOME reason lol) and then quietly researching other options, really asking myself what I’d want to study, and coming up with a plan before sharing with more people.

i hope this helps a little! 

[perfectscoreblog]

Perfect Score Visits BBC Introducing!

Welcome to our latest Perfect Score update!  On Thursday 31st October Perfect Score tutors Tyler Clacey and Naji Richards spent their Hallowe’en accompanying participant Tian Mhende to BBC Introducing at Tobacco Dock in East London.  We had an in-depth chat with Tyler about the day and what they learned.

Tell us about the Perfect Score trip to BBC Introducing!

We had a nice smooth journey and we got there promptly on time; a lot different to last year when we were stuck in traffic for six hours!  It was a great day all in all, I feel like there were so many people who were at the same point in their journey musically.  For the younger people there were a lot of their peers there, but there also people my age and Naji’s age who are a bit older and more experienced in the music scene but who are trying to bring the younger people in and give them knowledge and insights based upon our own experiences.  I felt having that mix there was really beneficial.

The day was fairly focused on songwriting, performance and mental health/mindset.  There was also some information about how to make money in the music industry.  Mental wellbeing is very important to make sure you stay on track as an artist, though I noted there didn’t seem to be much on music technology or production on the day that we visited.

What was the highlight of your day?

Seeing a lot of Leicester people! It was great to see the community that I’m already in expanding and going out into the rest of the UK and spreading our knowledge and reputation in a united way.

Playing with new bits of kit like DJ gear was really fun.  It was interesting to see someone like Naji, who’s grown up in the era of vinyl DJing, try some of the new equipment available at the event and show him how that works.  Watching him learn something new was really cool, and demonstrates that no matter how far along you are in your musical journey, there’s always something new to learn!  For my part, I learnt some new skills too, especially networking (I met lots of nice people).  I’d also like to mention the great food!

What were the activities throughout the day?

The activities consisted of masterclasses, talks and events featuring PPL and PRS.  We went to an interesting masterclass called Spotify Presents: Who We Be Talks With DJ Semtex and Keith Dube.  Keith talked about making podcasts, so the focus was on spoken word and presenting rather than just music.  That showed to me that there’s multiple ways of getting into the music industry and overlaps with other disciplines.

What happened during the masterclasses?

The masterclass would be lead by a host who would do a short interview with the artist; the floor would then open for the audience to ask questions.  After that there was a practical aspect where the artist would demonstrate their skills, then ask members of the audience if they wanted to try it for themselves.  So there was a nice mix of activities going on.

Did you enjoy the masterclasses you went to?

Of course the masterclasses were wicked!  Craig David was probably the most high-profile artist; he’s had a twenty-year career so there was so much knowledge to gain from that.  

The masterclasses were from really established artists, so were valuable and had a lot of great knowledge, though they also said some things that I did already know which in a way was rather comforting as it shows just how much I’ve grown in experience and confidence.  A really cool experience for me was seeing a masterclass by DJ and Producer Eats Everything – I was lucky enough to be called up to mix with him!  It was a nice feeling to be able to do what I do in front of him, when before I’ve been in a crowd of twenty thousand people watching him perform.  I was a little bit starstruck, to be honest!

Which was your favourite masterclass?

There were three masterclasses that stood out to me, the first of which featured novelist Maverick Sabre and Rachel Furner, who spoke about song writing: methods for writing songs, what puts them in the right mood for being creative, as well as stories from the course of their careers.  That was really eye opening in terms of the depth and breadth of the topics covered.

The second was the insights from podcaster Keith Dube, who spoke a lot about mental health.  It’s really relevant to a lot of people today as we’re seeing a movement towards being more open about wellbeing.  Keith also spoke a lot about the importance of talking to people and realising you’re not alone, which can be difficult for a lot of men.  He didn’t realise that so many people felt the same as him until he started communicating.

Finally there was the talk by Craig David, which was really interesting because he’s had a career spanning twenty years or more so it was great to hear his perspective, including the difference between being a one-hit wonder and having an enduring musical career.  He talked a lot about the roller coaster ride of the music industry (and life in general!), which was really insightful.

On the topic of mental health, what do you feel are the potential pitfalls for people entering today’s music industry?

Craig David touched on the danger of being sucked into your own hype: ego isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you need to keep it under control and not get wrapped up in your own success.  It’s important to take a step back and remain humble.

Another thing he mentioned was that you can get addicted to success and ‘one-upping’ yourself: his first album sold seven million copies and the second three and a half million.  Some people would be disappointed with the reduction in sales, but to him it was a huge achievement and something to be proud of.  His message was to appreciate what you’ve got and enjoy the journey, because whatever pinnacle you get to, it’s never enough!  You’ll always be searching for the next horizon: it’s human nature.

Any other thoughts to add?

I think events like BBC Introducing and the Perfect Score Young People’s Music Careers Conference are the bridge we need between elite artists and those just beginning their musical career, in order to share the personal in-depth knowledge that you can’t really express in a tweet or Instagram post.  In a more intimate setting musicians can meet their community: real sharing, understanding and connection are made possible.

Insights from Naji Richards

We also had a brief chat with tutor Naji, who had the following to say:

It was a really good day!  I enjoyed using the DJ kit and trying out different music equipment. It was absolutely packed with like-minded people, so networking and making new connections was great. We also saw Craig David, who hosted a seminar about his journey as an artist.  It was interesting and full of useful advice for the young musicians, artists and producers we’re working with.  In particular he emphasised the importance of remaining grounded: fame can come quickly but that can change in the blink of an eye, nothing is certain or permanent.  He struck a good balance between that and the need to be confident and sure of your skills, talents and abilities.

The whole team really enjoyed visiting BBC Introducing and connecting with other musicians.  We look forward to next year’s event!

[gaylortruther]

(many) tag games

saw someone else do this so i figured i’d go through all my tag games in one looong post instead of spamming you all with a bunch of separate posts!

i’m gonna tag everyone now and yall can choose which tag games you want to do or whether you want to do them all (or whether you want to do any)!!

thanks to everyone who tagged me in all of these! i LOVE being tagged in tag games and i am always up for more! <3

tagging THE SANCTION (including ppl that i haven’t gotten up on the page yet im sorry abfjffsdhsjbjsdf it will happen SOON):  @newdivinities @wolvesofarcadia @maskedlady @victoiirres @sancta-silje @bumblebeesonpaper @wasting-ink-not-youth @horrorspell @ya-lady-tauriel @awritinglen @purpleshadows1989 @ivonoris @theforgottencoolkid @the-ichor-of-ruination @grotesqu-e @lucacangettathisass @tea-ndi @hazeywrites @lunar895 @thewordsinthesky-andstars

[LAST LINE TAG]

TAGGED BY  @melwrotethat AND @hazeywrites

thank you both for the tags! these are the last few lines of the prologue-excerpt-thing i wrote for the page i’m working on for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Somehow, Collin hears them. Silently, she rolls up her sleeve, and Rowan feels the Collin Sutherland they knew is somewhere far, far away. The tattoos are black, geometric in design, two on each arm, and eerily similar to the ones Rowan has just discovered on their own left arm. They're sure if they were to roll up their right sleeve, they would find more.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Collin whispers. "I didn't know you were a part of it, but I should have guessed. I didn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not- I don't- in danger of what?"

The waves crash onto the shore, and in the distance, a seagull cries, sending Collin into action. She grabs Rowan's hand and starts pulling, dragging them back behind the house.

"Come on. We don't have a lot of time, we have to get going. I can tell you everything on the way. I don't know why he brought me here instead of straight to the veil, damn it-,"

"Wait!," they say, wrenching their hand out of her grasp. "Just- stop! Where are we going?!"

Collin's eyes flash bright, despite the lack of sunlight. "Home."

yeah, a bit long, a bit unedited, but *shrugs*

[SPELL OUT UR URL USING SONG TITLES]

TAGGED BY @tea-ndi

thank you sage!!! <3

hard feelings/loveless | lorde

another one of those days | cavetown

let’s fall in love for the night | FINNEAS

ocean eyes | billie eilish

honey and milk | flower face

i know | king princess ft fiona apple

dreamz | sara king

iloveyou | BETWEEN FRIENDS

nobody’s home | gnash

greek god | conan gray

sycamore girl | rex orange county 

and there you have a small sample of my music taste! add in literally every taylor swift song (dont judge me), some lo-fi tunes without ANY words whatsoever, and the occasional fall out boy or panic at the disco goddamn absolute banger, and you have my XANDERS JAMS playlist on spotify. ENJOY

[11/11/11 TAG]

TAGGED BY @awritinglen <333333333333333333333333

thank you for tagging me len!!! your questions were so fun!! i’m doing this for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Name all OCs in your WIP

OMFG okay,,, wait do you mean full names?? POV characters as of rn are Collin Aisling Sutherland, Rowan Tilley (doesn’t have a middle name) and Avery Bristol Charter. then the next most important one is Isaac Michael Rosewell, even though he’s the antagonist. then the side characters that are still very featured are Noah Rosalyn Pratten, Reese Iseul Radley, and Sage Emarosa Delgado. THEN we get into the very very side characters, Willa Robinson and her son August Robinson. then we have Avery’s parents, Alaric and the late Octavia Charter. and thennnnn we have Beldane Moreno, Avery’s uncle and Collin’s grandfather (undecided abt that last name but going w it for now). i promise it all makes sense. i promise anfnfsjnfdjsfd

Name at least one hobby your Main character love

i’ll give this one to Collin, she is a musician! Avery’s mother always taught her music before The Accident (dun dun dunnn) and after Collin was abandoned in the Nigh she threw herself into music. she plays guitar mostly, but she secretly loves piano the best out of every instrument she knows

3 sentences about your current WIP

OOF. im so bad at summaries why would you do this to meee abfhshjbsbshfjsbf. “A determined believer wants to return to a home that never wanted her. Almost 4000 miles away, an incisive, intellectual outcast of a dreamer muses over getting out of their hometown. And infinities away from them both, a teenage revolutionary disappears into thin air, on his way to bring back his past and fix his (and everyone’s) future.”

Is there a romance in your WIP and did you plan it from the beginning?

yes! there are three! they are definitely a main focus of the plot, but not THE main focus. Reese and Rowan were definitely planned from the beginning. Collin and Noah were, too, but they weren’t originally enemies to lovers, and they are now (hehehehehe). and Isaac and Avery were DEFINITELY not planned from the beginning. in fact, Avery was originally paired up with Sage, but it’s literally so much better this way and i’m so glad it’s been changed. Isaac and Avery has been planned since about when Isaac’s character was thought up, one year into planning WTCMTS.

What genre(s) is it?

a mix of dystopia and urban fantasy. and it’s YA, borderline NA because some of the characters are 19-20, but i still think YA is appropriate because of the style of writing.

What’s the aesthetic of two of your characters?

fun question! Collin’s aesthetic is very emo-punk, with a splash of yellow towards the end of the series. piercings, blue hair, rips on clothing, dirty converse, smudged eyeliner, safety pins. the yellow comes in as part of her character arc, as she learns to accept that her childhood memories are tainted and not actually perfect utopia. Rowan is way more minimalist (sometimes). they’re into the bookstagram type aesthetic, and mom jeans with sneakers, jean jackets, plants against a white wall, colorblocked windbreakers, rain against a car window.

When did you start your current WIP?

WTCMTS was started in august of 2017 

How far along are you in the process (i.e 1st/2nd/3rd draft, worldbuilding)

still worldbuilding, unfortunately, for personal reasons

Who’s the hardest character for you to write?

OOOOOOF. sage or rowan?

What music genre best decribes your main character(s) and whats their favorite?

Collin - alternative (favorite band would be like twenty one pilots, p!atd) 

Rowan - ichillwave (clario, rex orange county)

Avery - emo (fall out boy, all time low)

Isaac - indie alternative OR instrumental lofi (jaymes young, birdy)

Noah - electropop (lorde, halsey, charlie xcx)

Reese - folk rock (the head and the heart, of monsters and men)

Sage - indie pop (lana del ray, florence + the machine)

Are you working on more than one WIP?

yes! i have four currently but only two are important lol, ILLUNIUS and WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY (this one). WIP PAGE

MY QUESTIONS

how did you come up with the title for your WIP?

is there anything you want to change about your WIP but you are hesitating on?

do you have a favorite character? a character that is your baby?

write a tinder bio for one of your characters.

how do you feel about epilogues? does your wip include an epilogue?

what changes does your MC go through over the course of the story?

what is the most significant insignificant thing that happens in your story? don’t explain why it is significant if it spoils things ;)

do you know what will happen after the ending of your wip, or would you rather not picture it?

how long does your wip span? is it a novel? a series? does it have prequels or spin-off wips?

what is a major internal conflict for your MC? 

do you include flashbacks in your wip? do you like writing flashbacks?

[HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A ______ NOVEL TAG]

TAGGED BY @writevevo​ AND @wolvesofarcadia​

thank you both for this tag! it’s so much fun and both of your novels sound like novels that would be very interesting to be stuck in :D

inspired by this post

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A HALOHIDINGS NOVEL

you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling. you’re extremely bitter towards your younger sibling for stealing opportunities from you, damning you to a life you never truly wanted. your younger sibling adores you and just wants to please you. they never meant to do it. 

you’re stuck in constant, wistful wanderlust, never feeling like you truly belong, never fitting in anywhere, not with friends, not with family, and when you finally find the place you’ve been looking for, you realize it’s nothing like you dreamed or remembered.

you’re not heterosexual. no one around you is. no one is cisgender either. where are they? no one knows. 

you have a peculiar capability dancing under your skin. it trickles from your pores and muddles with your mind. maybe you asked for it, maybe it was predestined, maybe you never wanted anything to do with it. whatever the reason, it’s there, and you don’t know what’s you and what’s it. maybe you’re not meant to ask. maybe you’re meant to succumb. 

your memories are as fickle as the rain, coming and going and breaking through the clouds, shattering the fog and disappearing with the sun. you can’t recall what you’re doing here, or where you’re meant to be instead. what’s your name?, they ask. you don’t know.

there are two worlds. one world is blissfully unaware of this, or at least, as unaware as any world of millions and millions of people can be. no secret can be kept forever, they tell you. you are desperately trying to keep the secret.

the one closest to you, despite your abhorrent denial of this fact, the one you would trust with your life, will betray you. because of their decision, their selfishness, you will either lose them, or lose yourself.

THOSE WERE SO FUN OMG. they all mostly apply to both of my major wips, which is probably bad. oh well LMAO

SORRY THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO LONG hope at least someone does one of these tag games lol <3 

xander out

[dazzling-ji]

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

probably halo? still riding off the performance high tbh

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

can’t think of anything that i would want to know immediately that i couldn’t just wait for confirmation in prayer about...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

so far? taking the steps necessary to actually pursue my dreams

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

kbbq with friends

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

probably tell my parents how i feel about them, same to my friends

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

not really. i have things i’d like to do, tho

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

as in a human being? um, she has obscenely small hands. her face is like shiny and red perpetually. she is tiny. she gets really excited over the smallest things, i.e. her cats or the sight of a corgi. lowkey highkey hates her hair unless it’s short. bane of my existence.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

bruh i wish. literally still trying to console younger me with each day.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

lowkey cried in front of my therapist as i told him i don’t cry in front of people. idk if he noticed or not (IT’S CUZ HE KEPT STARING AT ME WITH THOSE BIG SAD EMPATHETIC BLUE EYES. I DON’T NEED EMPATHY!!!) but the tears were threatening and i was threatening the tears.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

bruh, had to describe a human for the last one but this time i won’t. my best friend nam shin iii. because i love him and he’s great. wish he were real so i could teach him english and he could teach me korean and i could help him romance his girlfriend. 

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

i did when i was first meeting my therapist lol. i don’t trust people enough to do stuff like that.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

probably ye olde tiny handed one. she’s the only one who would try to stay up that late with me. doesn’t mean i don’t have to deal with her sleep delirium.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

it’d either be to myself or my mom. something along the lines of letting them know their worth.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

they aight. blue eyes are really scary 90% of the time. brown eyes make more sense to me.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“different doesn’t mean wrong” said by one of my late faves, who i honestly felt was a kindred spirit 99.999% best friend match to me. not gonna get into why the quote is so deep to me, all i’ll say is it allowed me to breathe.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

indigko

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

pay off debts, travel, save, give to charities/church, save some more, maybe make a trust fund? 

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

with God, yeah. by myself? depends. i can be kind of hypocritical and times.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

guess i know what to tag this ask meme now

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk for sure.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

super cool. was thinking of getting either a septum or normal nose ring. wish tattoos made a bit more sense on dark skin, but either way they’re super painful so maybe i lucked out.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i don’t. don’t wanna ruin my skin and i like the natural look over a beat face. i like people looking realistic if that makes sense?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

so many people to talk about, but my ex-fave prince helped me realize i was ace.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

i wouldn’t. at least not rn, don’t have anything revolutionary to tell em. maybe something like “Please remember we’re dealing with human beings” or along those lines, because I’m tired of reading about racists and human rights violations who real life be forgetting that aside from differences in race/gender/sexuality/etc/etc we are all human and worthy of love.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

stromae @ msg - super fun! wish the people behind me didn’t try to waste my time and sit at a dance music concert.

nai palm @ brooklyn (i forget the venue) - also super great. it was great to actually see her irl, and allowed me to realize i can actually socialize without too much problem.

garth brooks @ mercedes benz - yikes ppl in the south RLY like their country music huh?

kimbra @ brooklyn (also forget the venue) - LIVE MUSIC CAN BE SO EXPERIMENTAL AND FUN. kind of reminded me of what i’d heard seeing prince irl was like.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

NYU - You have no outstanding balances. We have a $1 mil scholarship that will be applied to your account as of today. We love you. In fact, we’re gonna wipe away all your student loan debt and ensure no one in your family has to worry about paying for anything ever again in their lives.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

my desk always gets cluttered with papers and stuff. but i really do prefer working at a desk rather than a bed. 

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

stall as long as possible until i REALLY need to go to sleep. grumble as i lazily brush my teeth and rinse my retainer. lie in bed and watch youtube for anywhere between 30 min to 3 hrs before actually turning off.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

call me crazy, but i want my parents to know about me and *gasp* like what they realize. like lemme tell em i’m ace and have them not freak out, idk. 

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

blue or purple. but probably a wig or something impermanent. 

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

THE FAB FIVE. WHY AM I SO DUMB. we’d go makeover their next person on queer eye OR even better we’d just hang out

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. the aforementioned letter from nyu because i deserve it, ok?

2. a life i don’t feel like i have to run away from because i hate living like this but feel powerless to change it.

3. a cool best friend i could go cool places with, because i wanna go cool places

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i cosplay’d as Taemin during the Ace era. It was cool because it basically was my style, so I felt super confident all day looking my best.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I do neither. But the craziest thing I did half-asleep was convince myself I could still talk to the aforementioned tiny handed weirdo and answer her questions though my head was firmly planted on my pillow and i was neatly tucked under my sheets. like i really thought homegirl could read my thoughts and find the answers she needed to her questions. 

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

like donald trump

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

maybe one person - i’d see myself the way God sees me so I wouldn’t be so powerless against my insecurities and the fake people in the world all the time.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

idk? i’m ace and aro and very aesthetically drawn, so i really don’t know if i ever have. 

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i prefer myself with longer hair tbh.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

hot chocolate if i wanna blend in. otherwise a strawberry acai refresher. i trust any of my friends because it’s really not that deep.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

gaining self-confidence so i can step more firmly into my calling.

fin.

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[harryshmjr]

About me

tagged by @the-roci to do this ‘almost 100 questions about yourself’ 

last

1. Drink: tea, it’s almost always tea  2. Phone call: taxi company, i think 3. text message: i don’t really text these days, it’s always tumblr, facebook or discord 4. song you listened to: hayley kiyoko - curious 5. time you cried: idk but i get emotional very often

ever

6. dated someone twice?: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: probably 8. been cheated on: no  9. lost someone special: depends on your definition?  10. been depressed: still am so 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: oh yeah, when i started drinking and didn’t know what my limits are

fave colors

12. grey 13. purple 14. blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: probably lmao 18. found out someone was talking about you: pretty sure yeah although i try not to think about it, some ppl need to get a life 19. met someone who changed you: idk? no? yes? 20. found out who your friends are: i have huge trust issues so 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: idk i know some of them irl and some just online 23. do you have any pets: no 24. do you want to change your name: no 25. what did you do for your last birthday: pretty sure nothing  26. what time did you wake up today: after 11, i think. it’s my day off 28. what is something you cant wait for - SEASON 3 OF SHADOWHUNTERS and also some holidays so i can meet with @jamescarstairz and sightsee a bit 30. what are you listening to right now: nothing 31. have you ever talk to a perosn named tom: yeah 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: ppl yelling for no good reason (and also like a million other things tbh) 33. most visited website: definitely tumblr lol 34. hair colour: i’ve been ginger for years now but my natural hair colour is brown 35. long or short hair: shoulder length (or a little bit shorter) 36. do you have a crush on someone: you could say that and also harry shum jr is the love of my life 37. what do you like about yourself: i don’t like myself so? 38. want any piercings: nothing new atm 39. blood type: i should probs know this one but oh well 40. nicknames: don’t have one 41. relationship status: forever alone 42. zodiac: leo 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv shows: shadowhunters (anyone surprised?) 45. tattoos: not yet 46. right or left handed: right 47. ever had surgery: no 48. piercings: atm i’m only wearing 2 helix piercings 49. sport: um nope lmao  52. eating: nothing atm 53. drinking: tea 54. I’m about to watch: i’m in the middle of watching chicago med and the magicians is next on my list 56. want: many things 57. get married: idk it’s not really my thing? if i was in a relationship with a guy, then definitely not. if i was in a relationship with a girl, i’d definitely consider it 58. career: i have some plans but we’ll see what’s gonna happen

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: both but if i have to choose than kisses 60. lips or eyes: both 61. shorter or taller: taller 62. older or younger: older when it’s about guys, both for girls 63. nice arms or stomach: this is getting too much... i’m bi, you can’t expect me to make a decision 64. hookup or relationship: relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant: too hesitant ugh

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: yes 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. lost glasses: no (although i might’ve lost some sunglasses at some point) 69. turned someone down: idk no? 70. sex on first date: no 71. broken someones heart: i don’t think so? 72. had your heart broken: yeah 73. been arrested: no 74. cried when someone died: yes 75. fallen for a friend: hard to say tbh? it’s weird don’t ask

do you believe in…

76. yourself: lol nope 77. miracles: hm maybe 78. love at first sight: you never know, but in general i’m gonna say no 79. santa clause: no 80. kiss on a first date: sure why not  81. angels: yes

other

82. best friend’s name: don’t have one atm (remember those trust issues? yeah) 83. eye colour: brown 84. fave movie: don’t really have one 85. fave actor: harry shum jr aka the love of my life 86. (by me) Favourite famous person that is an inspiration and role model: also harry shum jr

tag 20 people (or i’m not gonna tag so many bc that’s a lot lol)

@magnificentbane @maghnvsbane @alecfancywood @bane-of-brooklyn @catirinaloss @fluffyjimon

(feel free to ignore)

[xxepicgamerwaffle420xx]

Tag the last

I was tagged by @lovebeingsoexxtrajisoo thank you sweetie!!!!!!!!!

drink: wine {´◕ ◡ ◕｀}

phone call: my guy friend -_-

text message: "apsiramink, tu girtas eik miegot idk” which means "chill, go to sleep you’re drunk idk"

song you listened: SMNM - Million ft. Compulsive

time you cried: I don’t cry  (¬_¬)

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: nein

kissed someone and regretted it: yes ;-;

been cheated on: that requires having a s/o so nah man

lost someone special: yep

been depressed: yes

gotten drunk and thrown up: i actually can drink shit loads until I puke, tho it happened like 1 time as I never puke, Im a hardcore drinker like thatヽ(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ

3 FAVOURITE COLORS

Purple, black and red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

made new friends: yes

fallen out of love: yes

laughed until you cried: yes

found out someone was talking about you: ppl talk shit abt me all the time and yeh I know

met someone who changed you: uuhm maybe a bit?

found out who your friends are: yes

kissed someone on your facebook list: yes

ABOUT

how many facebook friends do you know in real life: i don’t accept ppl unless I know them (at least have talked to them or saw them in rlf)

do you have any pets: yes, a cat and a doggo (◕‿◕✿)

do you want to change your name: nah, i think its pretty okay for an uncooked noodle like me 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ

what did you do for your last birthday: got drunk lmaoooo

what were you doing at midnight last night: yesterday was actually new years so i was looking at the fireworks with my bestie

name something you can’t wait for: the day when I’ll figure out what i want to do with my life

when was the last time you saw your mom: today like an hour ago

what are you listening to right now: joji - i don’t wanna waste my time

have you ever talked to a person named tom: i got 2 classmates with that name

something that is getting on your nerves: people, wet things that shouldn’t be wet.

most visited website: youtube, facebook and spotify

hair color: purple/silver/pinkish tho natural hair color is light blonde

long or short hair: long

do you have a crush on someone: do youtubers or idols count?

what do you like about yourself: I got an okay sense of humor I’m very loyal and brutally honest.

blood type: A

nickname: Monii, Waffle, Jinx

relationship status: single and ready to mingle  (single pringle basically)

zodiac: cancer

pronouns: she/her

favourite tv show: parks and recreations, rick and morty, regular show.

tattoos: none tho I’d like to have sum.

right or left handed: right

surgery: none (i fukken wish)

FAVORITES

sport: volleyball

pair of shoes: converse just a tad bit above the ankle

food: lasagna

drink: tea

i’m about to: play some video games boii

♥‿♥ 

FUTURE

waiting for: that someone who will put up with my shit (´｡✪ω✪｡｀)

want: lots of things, wouldn’t be able to list them all.

get married: yesssssss

career: haven’t decided yet T-T

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses: HUGS

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: if between a boy then taller if a girl then idk, i’m usually the tall friend I like girls who are taller than me tho.

older or younger: older

nice arms or nice stomach: I really dont give a ff..flower

hook up or relationship: relationsheep

troublemaker or hesitant: why not both

(ʃƪ¬‿¬)

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger: nah

drank hard liquor: ofc

lost glasses/contact lenses: dont wear em

turned someone down: yes

sex on the first date: nein

broken someone’s heart: i think so?

had your heart broken: yes

been arrested: nah, I’ve ran from cops a couple of times tho

fallen for a friend: meeeeh, kinda ?

cried when someone died: I don’t rememer, haven’t experienced so much losses worth of crying

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself: naaaah

miracles: nein

love at first sight: yes

santa claus: lol he’s my uncle

kiss on the first date: depends if I like the person.

I tag @exo-bts-fanfics-imagines @xiubaek13 ​ ; @oh-beyond and @jungk0oksthighs just bc I thnk these blogs are amazing (and you don’t have to do this if u dont want to, i’ll still luv yall) ٩(｡•ω•｡)و Fighting!

Also, ive had some problems uploading this post. the questions were answered on jan 1st, though im finally uploading this on jan 3rd. Im sorry ;-;

[toycarousel]

hi im sages-milkshakes, messaging on anon bc it makes me feel a little more comfy i hope its not annoying,, anyway when i was a little kid i spent a lot of time with my grandmother on my mother's side who im going to call beth. beth loved me and still does very much, and she taught me a lot, including how to read. but she had difficulty with children and was very forceful in her beliefs. she shoved her religion down my throat and was often very emotionally manipulative. it influenced me (1/?)

a lot and wasn't good for me at all. i started to have breakdowns while at her house, which included me running away from her, generally feeling trapped and awful. i was mean to my brother, sometimes making him cry and throwing things at him, which i feel terrible about especially since he's the sweetest boy you'll ever meet. it was because of how stressed i was. i had no way to take it out that i could see, so i took it out on him, which of course wasn't right but again i was quite young (2/?) 

myself and drowning. i would often escape to other parts of the house, trying to get away from beth. but she would always follow me and i felt like i was never safe. i would lock myself in the bathroom and cry while she yelled at me to get out and went outside and pounded on the bathroom window so i would get out. i thought about trying to run away a lot, and did a few times, screaming and crying, running away from the house up the street until she caught me. i had a very wild imagination, (3/?)

and a touch of what i think may have been schizophrenia which meant that i imagined myself as a werewolf. i think this was linked to the amount of stress i was under, as i really only felt like one whenever i had to go to beths house. i thought i was going to transform. i think it was to do with feeling so trapped inside my own body that i wanted to be anywhere else, to be anyone else. when i finally told my mother about what had been going on, i had tried to run away many times by now. i (4/?)

broke down and cried so hard that i could barely breathe, let alone get out a word. i no longer have to go to her house, but i still have to see her now and then because my parents make me go to movies and plays with her, and at family gatherings. usually i can calm myself down and just ignore her until she goes, but sometimes i have panic attacks and stop being able to breathe. this happened today. i haven't been to her house in months. when i do go, i often have ptsd like symptoms. (5/?)

my father jokes about making me go to her house, and both my parents have guilt tripped me about how she's "going to die soon". i don't know how to talk to them about this and i don't know if it will make any difference. thank you for reading this, it's been in my mind for many years and I've never talked about all of it. i think you're a wonderful person wren and i feel like i can talk to you about anything and you won't judge me. i love you. (6/6)

Hi there, Sages~!!! It’s great to hear from you~

I really, truly wish you didn’t still have to go through all this... I know experiencing that much trauma usually leads to PTSD, and that’s something that can stick with you for a very long time.  So what you’re feeling now, and what you felt then makes perfect sense, Sages, and it’s okay... you know that lashing out at your brother was wrong, and you know why you did it, and you have time to make that up to him.

You were young, developing, and in a vulnerable place in life, and that was abused by an authority figure (in this case, your grandmother), who had no right to treat you that way.  It was unfair, and it was wrong of her -- and I fully believe that it’s wrong of your parents to be placing pressure on you to visit her.  She hurt you deeply, in many different ways, and You Don’t Owe Her Anything.  The fact that she’s dying doesn’t change that...

If you ever decide that you’re ready to see her prior to her death, then that’s okay, but that has to be your choice -- and you’re not a bad person if you choose not to visit her!!!

I’d do my best to continue ignoring her for your own safety.  These panic attacks are a serious thing, and she is someone who puts your health at a genuine risk.  I’d also ignore your parents’ jokes, suggestions, and guilt-tripping.  If you can talk to them about exactly what your grandmother did and said to you growing up, and the impact that’s had on your life (and I know this sparks panic, so it could be something that you’re only able to do once you’re in a slightly better emotional place), it might help them understand better -- or, it may not.  But if you feel like they might listen, then maybe give it a try.  Again, it’s up to you whether or not you want to do that (or are ready to do that), and there is no right or wrong choice, imo.

You can always come here and talk to me, Sages! I’m happy to have you here, and I know exactly what childhood trauma at the hands of an authority figure feels like, and the repercussions it has on later life.  This is also something I think would be beneficial to talk to a professional about, but only one that you feel somewhat safe around!!! And if you’re able to, I recommend shopping around for therapists before choosing one -- pick one you feel more instinctively comfortable around! 

If you don’t have that option, then maybe go online and talk to people in forums concerning abusive family members (I can dig some up for you), and also contact an online (or over-the-phone) crisis centre! They will be able to talk you through panic attacks, at the very least, and while they may not be able to help you with longer-term feelings of safety, or with specific directions on how to move forward, they may still have resources for you that will help with those things!!! Just be sure to ask~!!!

You didn’t deserve to be treated this way, by anyone, least of all a family member who should have shown her love in far healthier and more openminded ways.  If a person feels like they have to run away from you in order to be safe, you should know that something you’re doing isn’t quite right.  She should have known, and questioned her behaviour, and asked for help in how to properly take care of someone younger than her.  There are a million things she should have done differently, and none of what she did do was your fault.

As I said, feel free to talk to me anytime you want, okay? I can promise you that I’m listening, and I want to be there for you whenever I can be!!!

https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/search.php?searchid=4210627

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/setting-boundaries-with-parents-who-are-abusive-142804.htm (not all of this one will apply for your situation, but there are some aspects of it that I think are important to read).

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/healthy-relationships-discussions/introductions-personal-stories/10476642-life-after-cutting-out-toxic-family-members

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/grandmother-is-toxic-and-abusive-198396.htm

http://www.psychforums.com/verbal-abuse/topic67215.html

https://www.7cups.com/

https://www.iprevail.com/chat_landing

http://blahtherapy.com/

http://codedredalert.tumblr.com/post/109005732295/helpline-masterlist

http://clinicallydepressedpug.tumblr.com/post/75639033334/mental-health-help-masterpost

[jebsplayshss]

RULES: ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE.

i will never make it to 20 ppl but UHMMMMMM thank u @principal-mc for the tag urs was rly fun to read!!! so yes let’s jump into this LOL

THE LAST:

1. Drink: pineapple green tea boba 2. Phone call: a j-job interview 3. Text message: dnd group LMAO 4. Song you listened to: afterglow // teenage wrist 5. Time you cried: last week cuz i was catching up to bnha manga and i love all might

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: LMAO i’ve never dated 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: nah 9. Lost someone special: yah 10. Been depressed:  Yah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: DSJFKDSJFS YEAH..........

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. yellow!!! all shades of yellow!!!! i love yellow!! 13. blue!! also all shades of blue!!!!!!! 14. green!!!! all shades!!!! it’s so fresh!!!!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yah!! 16. Fallen out of love: nah 17. Laughed until you cried: YAH 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh yes and it was HILARIOUS 19. Met someone who changed you: i think every1 i’ve ever met has changed me and i’m grateful for it no matter if it was good or bad tbh 20. Found out who your friends are: yes but i want it on record i love everyone i’ve ever been friends with even if in the end they sucked 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: n-no?

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of em i think!!! a couple of internet friends, but fb is reserved for irl friends LMAO 23. Do you have any pets: i have two doggos and two cats and an aquarium!!! i love all my pets qq 24. Do you want to change your name: eh 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: we went out for sushi!!! 26. What time did you wake up: around 11am sdgfdsgdfs 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawing LMAO 28. Name something you can’t wait for: i’m literally excited for each new day!!! every day is full of possibilities and even tho i may spend a lot of those days sittin at home drawing ocs at least i can be excited abt it!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: mayhaps five minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i think i’m v go w/ the flow and look at things brightly so: i wouldn’t rly change things! but if i could, i think life would be easier on me if i wasn’t diagnosed w diabetes ;v; 31. What are you listening right now: your deep rest // the hotelier 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i almost said no but i DO know a thomas and that’s damn close enough 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: (i’m too pleasant i can’t think of anything i’m rly pissed abt right now haha) 34. Most visited Website: twitter i think :”o 35. Mole/s: i have a couple of moles on my face & left elbow ye ye 36. Mark/s: i have stretch marks and cat scratches hAHA.... i think a lot of the scars i have are like, cat inflicted, and the few times i’ve hurt myself either doing sculpture or cooking LMFAO.. 37. Childhood dream: UHHH i wanted to be a fashion designer!! deep down i’d still like to do that hehe 38. Hair color: black!! 39. Long or short hair: it’s getting long!! i used to do a 1920s bob cut to my hair a lot but i’ve liked growing it out ;o; it’s past my shoulders now!!! 40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope lol 41. What do you like about yourself: oh!!!! i used to hate myself a whole lot, but now i can say w confidence that: i like me. i like everything about me. i like that part of me that learned to like myself best. <3 42. Piercings: just ear piercings!! my mom got em done when i was a few months old ;v; 43. Blood type: i am 90% sure i’m O negative 44. Nickname: AJ!!! Jebs!!! Mando!!! 45. Relationship status: single and not caring LEL 46. Zodiac: taurus sun! cancer moon! taurus rising! 47. Pronouns: she/her, they/them! :> 48. Favorite TV Show/s: warehouse 13, dark matter, power rangers, kamen rider, sense8, friends, parks & rec, age of youth, the x files, atelier 49. Tattoos: none but i want one qq 50. Right or left hand: righty!!  51. Surgery: nopeee 52. Hair dyed in different color: i bleached my hair once in like.... 8th/9th grade.... we do not. speak of that, ever 53. Sport: i love sports but i don’t play on teams anymore haha x_x!!! i used to do basketball and karate!!! i like hiking, badminton, and bowling, too!!! i think i love hiking the most tho i don’t think it’s rly a sport LMAO 55. Vacation: i like roadtrips!!! i like traveling in general!!!!! it’s fun to explore and see the world around us and meet people and experience things!!! 56. Pair of trainers: i have reeboks & vans isos......! i like my vans best tho LMAOO they’re stylish and comfortable for walks

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: i last ate ginisang ampalaya w/ mango & bagoong ;w; 58. Drinking: rn i’m chugging water LMAO 59. I’m about to: d-drawwwwwwww 61. Waiting for: sleep qq 62. Want: g-gas money 63. Get married: nahhhh 64. Career: graphic design or journalism qq 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs ;o; 66. Lips or eyes: eyes!! 67. Shorter or taller: i’m rly tall s-so i don’t have a preference either way actually ;v; 68. Older or younger: eh 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ah... i think i like arms best qq 71. Sensitive or loud: haha....... i dunno.......... i suppose someone who meshes w/ my personality well......... tho i suppose i’d like someone more extroverted ;v; 72. Hook up or relationship: i!!! dunno. i don’t think i rly mind or care HAHA 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: there is nothing wrong with a lil bit of rebellion

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nah but that sounds fun 75. Drank hard liquor: yah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i stopped wearing contacts cuz i lost them all the time ashdjfjdsfds 77. Turned someone down: yah and mostly it’s been pleasant 78. Sex in the first date: nope but i am.... unopposed...... wow i sound like a Freak zamn 79. Broken someone’s heart: GOD I HOPE NOT THAT’S A LOT OF PRESSURE 80. Had your heart broken: y-ya but not in the way u think ;o; 81. Been arrested: nope i’m CLEAN and absolutely did not just talk abt underage drinking officer 82. Cried when someone died: yea........... 83. Fallen for a friend: nope and thank God

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: yes!!! i am a bright and wonderful person and i’m capable of anything i put my mind to!!!!!!! 85. Miracles: yah cuz idk how i passed math 86. Love at first sight: me w/ food 87. Santa Claus: i cannot confirm nor deny his existence. santa claus is the ultimate cryptid 88. Kiss on the first date: why not lmaoooo 89. Angels: yah

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: NOOO i have too many beloved best friends 91. Eyecolor: brown HAHA....... 92. Favorite movie: i can’t pick one so here’s a top 10 list: the fifth element, amelie, moonrise kingdom, kiki’s delivery service, princess and the frog, treasure planet, suspiria, how to steal a million, practical magic, & under the tuscan sun

i’d have put more wes anderson movies but...... i truly like moonrise kingdom best.... this is what happens when ur a film hoe u can’t keep urself to one movie cuz i wanna talk abt all of them bye

TAGGING: @pixelberry-pippa @pixelberrygardens @diamondsaregold @hollyashton @maxwellbaemont @jakesmckenzies @stormholt @thedarknessoftheendlesshss @hermiethefrog @quinn-kelly @i-am-a-fandom-hoe @zigsexual @playhwu-hss @annelysesadair @quinnskelly @punexpectedly @protect-drake @joyfulchoices @elenasanchez @hssuser OHO I DID IT NICE HAVE FUN ALSO U DON’T HAVE TO BUT Y A H

[surrealsurrender]

92 questions

LAST: 1. Drink: fruit smoothie 2. Phone call: my brother 3: text message: to my friend Emily 4. Song you listened to: Afterglow by Wilkinson and Becky Hill 5. Time you cried: about a month ago HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: yupppp stupidly 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: like the majority of ppl I’ve kissed yes 8. Been cheated on: idk, sort of.. we weren’t really official but I felt like I’d been cheated on 9. Lost someone special: a few people sadly 11. Gotten drunk and regretted having sex with someone? It didn’t quite get that far (luckily) but what we did do I regret yeah - haven’t drunk vodka since LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. White 13. Black 14. Pale/pastel pink IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes, but they went as quick as they came 16. Fallen out of love: you have to be in love to fall out of it 17. Wanted sex? I mean yeah? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yep 19. Met someone who changed you: it might be just over a year ago that I met him, but yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 98% of them 23. Do you have any pets: no I have been deprived of such joy and will forever resent my parents for such a sin 24. Do you want to change your name: I always always wanted to when I was younger, but not anymore, I love what my name was influenced by and stands for 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out for breakfast with one of my best friends and then went shopping with my Mum, Aunt and Nan and then went out for dinner with all of my family before going for drinks with my other best friend - it was a really nice day 26. What time did you wake up: 8:30, which hurt considering I only went to sleep at 2:30 but my body was ready to get up🙄 27. What were you doing at midnight last night? Having a car horn beeping competition with some guys on motorbikes in a car park 😂 28. Name something you can’t wait for: to be in love with someone 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: she’s sat next to me so… 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: the list is kind of endless. Various things from wishing I’d been open about my sexuality from the start to not pushing away all of the many good people I have over the years. 31. What are you listening to right now: my dad’s playing The Eagles, I’m not sure what the name of the song is but it’s gud 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: hell yeah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: selfish people 34. Most visited websites: YouTube n Netflix probly LOST QUESTIONS 35. Mole/s: I have millions of the things.. 36. Mark/s: i have freckles on my nose and cheeks and various scars from head butting tables to being bitten and the classic chicken pox scars (edgy Ik) 37. Childhood dream: to just be liked 38. Hair color: half brown half blonde 39. Long or short hair: long rn but i’m getting it cut mega short in a few weeks 40. Do you have a crush on someone: I can’t even remember what it feels like to fancy someone🙄 41. What do you like about yourself physically and otherwise? Physically I quite like my eyes i guess, and my boobs are a rlly nice comfortable size which I’m thankful for. Otherwise, I like the fact that I’m good at the one thing I really love and I’m quite determined and self-motivated and well disciplined (apart from food-wise) 42. Piercings: just five in my ears 43. Blood type: I always forget to ask so idk 44. Nickname: Em, Jazza, emmy, various funny ones that are occasionally used 45. Relationship status: single af 46. Zodiac: Virgo bby 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: oh man. Ok so Orphan Black, Orange is the New Black, Gypsy, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Sherlock, Waterloo Road, Coronation Street, Emmerdale, Superwoman, Endeavour, Fresh Meat, Friday Night Dinner, Merlin, Ben & Kate, Midsomer Murders, Lewis, The Durrells, The L Word, Stranger Things, The Crown, Outlander, the list is honestly endless…49. Sexuality: I guess bisexual 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never had an operation (touch wood) 52. Hair dyed in different color: yeah I’ve been brown, pink, blonde, I think I did a little bit of blue at one point too…. 53. Sport: i used to play football and hockey for my school and have a few medals, I also was very into swimming for a long time and during high school really enjoyed circuit training. Wish I still played football, I always had a real love for it 54. Would you ever touch yourself? Yep, why not? 55. Favourite vacation: when I went to the US, cliche Ik but we went to Disney for two weeks and then spent a week just chilling by the pool and exploring Orlando and Florida and I love it - hopefully going back in 2019 56. Pair of trainers: vans 5eva MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: frosties 58. Books or films? BOOKS ALWAYS 59. I’m about to: go watch my fav film 61. Waiting for: my parents to go to bed 62. Want: happiness 63. Get married: my life won’t feel complete if I don’t (incurable romantic) but realistically I’ll probably never find anyone crazy enough 64. Career: i’d like to be managing editor on either some fiction novels or something fashion related 65. Hugs or kisses: would be perfect rn 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: same height as me preferably 68. Older or younger: older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: on boys I like muscly veiny arms but on girls I’d say stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: both, depends on my mood 72. Hook up or relationship: relationshio 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: yeah 75. Drank hard liquor: yep 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. Turned someone down: yeah Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know, I doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: not in a romantic way but friendship-ly yes. 81. Been arrested: no 82. Fallen for a friend: my god yes 83. Done anything sexual with a friend: yes😭 DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: depends what it’s about, but mostly probably not 85. Miracles: I believe in them 100% 86. Love at first sight: yes 87. Aliens: yes - how can there possibly not be anything out there? 88. Kiss on the first date: yessss OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: Connor and Em are my faaaaaavs 91. Height: 5"8 92. Are you happy? In the grand scheme of things, I kind of am atm actually PASS IT ON