#you know how they say you spend a 1/3 of your life sleeping
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moths-in-a-coat · 1 day ago
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i’m so chronically early to everything
if i cared to analyze myself, i would probably say something about how everyone who says i have anxiety is correct. but, alas, all that i have to say is that sitting in an off car for 40 min while it’s 14 degrees out proves not to be the best idea
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months ago
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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izadi234 · 3 months ago
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Forget me not
-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English. Yan! Batfamily x gn! reader Chapters Chapter 1 (You're here) Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5
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Chapter 1
You can't remember a time when you didn't live under the roof of Wayne Manor. Those hallways that for a 4-year-old child seemed chilling and eternal, today you consider a prison. And no, they don't keep you locked up or anything like that, in fact they give you a lot of freedom within this house, but you can consider that so-called 'freedom' as negligence.
Yes, negligence. Of course you had clothes to wear, a bed to sleep in, a roof to shelter in, but what about love? If they could ask you if you have ever felt loved in your home, the answer would be simple.
No not once
Bruce Wayne, your father, may be one of the biggest billionaires in this world but it seems his love and attention was limited towards you. But, with your brothers? It seemed to be an endless well of love and patience that he gave them.
Unconditional love, something you always looked for.
Or maybe he was busy owning one of the most successful companies in the world or cosplaying a vampire to help the city.
Yes… in short, Bruce no longer knew what excuse to give himself for not spending time with you.
And your brothers? They weren't much better. Richard "Dick" Grayson may be very loving and charming but with you? You were just a zero on the left. He didn't think you needed attention as much as his traumatized brothers and sisters. You, being a normal civilian, knew that you were safe from anything, so he only limited himself to greeting you with that little smile that at first seemed warm to you, but now it just cracks your teeth to see it.
As if he were the perfect brother.
Jason Todd was everything to you until it became nothing. You met him in his days as Robin and the truth is he was nice to you and you had a good relationship with him (they are only three years apart). When Dick wasn't at the mansion he would play with you and let you watch him train. He was your greatest confidant, your best friend… Until the Joker killed him. When he came back to life you couldn't recognize him, was he really your brother? A being full of hate and revenge? So much so that even though he saw you once after years, he just turned around.
And although he already has a better relationship with his family, it seems that your loving relationship as brothers ended that day he died. He didn't even look at you, much less talk to you.
What a hypocrite.
You can't say anything about Timothy Drake.  Seriously, and it's not because he's a great brother, it's because you've literally never talked to him.  You only know of his existence because of the times Dick shouted his name in excitement at him every time he came to the mansion and because you found out that Todd wanted to kill him.  Furthermore, your room and his are in the same hallway with the slight difference that your room was at the end.
Spoiled child...
Damian Wayne was a totally unique case.  He was violent and explosive but apparently your father preferred him over you.  Damian considered you a zero on the left.  He never found value in you, neither in your physique (you didn't fight), nor in your mind (you're not outstanding) so he didn't waste even a second insulting you or degrading you.
According to him, you were just a nuisance to the Wayne family and a disappointment to the Batfamily. And it didn't matter if you were going to complain to Bruce about Damian's behavior, he always made excuses for it.
Is this how unconditional love looks like?
Cassandra Cain was another ghost like you inside the mansion... With the only difference that she did pay attention to her even though she didn't talk much.  She was never interested in interacting with you even though you tried several times.
Even a mute could attract more attention than you...
Stephanie Brown.  An extroverted girl who wasn't afraid to give her opinion, but apparently she didn't have any opinion about you.  She always gets excited to see others and she was quick to look for things to do with them.  But, if she saw you, she would just give you a slightly awkward smile and she would get out of there quickly.
She runs away from you like you have the plague.
Barbara Gordon is seen by most of the family as an older sister, however you see her as a grumpy secretary.  You could be the most respectful person in the world towards her but just seeing you next to her asking what she was doing made her look at you as if you were a villain she is looking for.
I'm sure she hasn't seen a villain with the irritation she sees you with.
Duke Thomas is the new addition to the Wayne Family.  You have nothing against him, he is a kind and smiling boy. Who you could even consider to be the kindest to you of all your brothers.
When he first came to Wayne Manor, despite you being a nobody in that family, he took an interest in you. At first you thought he did it out of pity, but when one day you heard him asking Alfred where you were because he wanted to show you something, that's when you realized he wasn't doing it out of pity. And that made you feel special, being the sibling Duke turned to.
But you couldn't help but hate how easily he integrated into the family. How easily they accepted him.
And last but not least, Alfred Pennyworth.  He tried to be there for you and he encouraged you to keep trying to get your family's attention. But even with the butler's attention you couldn't help but long for the affection of your father and brothers.
You are more sure that without him you would have gone crazy in that big mansion. 
For that reason, the only ones you would miss once you left that place would be Alfred and Duke.
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"Would you be mad at me if I decided to leave the mansion?”
What a bad way to start a conversation.
You were sitting at the kitchen counter. As was custom you watched Alfred make breakfast, occasionally helping him. The butler, upon hearing your question, momentarily stopped what he was doing. Thanks to his poker face, Alfred didn't show any surprise but you knew well that he wasn't expecting that question.
"Pardon me, master (name)?”
"Would you forget about me if I left the mansion?" you asked
"Of course not!" Alfred quickly answered, his tone of voice a little high. However, upon noticing the change in his tone of voice he composed his posture again.
“I mean, of course I would never forget you, master (name). Why do you ask me those questions?”
"You know why Alfie" you sighed.
Alfred likewise sighed and turned off the stove where he was cooking. He walked over to you and sat down in front of you.
"Master (name)…" he was saying but you interrupted him.
"No Alfred… Could you let me talk… please..?" you asked gently but firmly
"Since I came to this place fifteen years ago I have always been part of the ghosts of this mansion and- and I got tired of being that. For a long time I have been thinking about moving somewhere else, away from this mansion, away from them…” You said that last sentence angrier but you controlled your temper.
"But… I can't leave knowing that you don't agree with my decision. I can't stand the thought of you being angry with me.”
You couldn't even imagine a world where he, Alfred Pennyworth, the man who decided to take your father's tablecloth, was angry with you. But even if he gets angry at your decision, you are going to follow your plan to leave the city.
Alfred smiled slightly and took your hand.
"You know very well that I would support you in whatever my little one does. Unless that decision put your life in danger of course" they both laughed at that comment.
"So that's a yes?" you asked with hope in your eyes and voice
"Yes" he nodded "Just take care of yourself"
You could see in his eyes that there was a bit of fear in his eyes as well as something else that you didn't know what it was and you didn't pay attention to it at that moment.
You should have paid more attention to him in that moment.
"Thanks Alfie" you hugged him regardless of the fact that the table was between the two of you. The butler hugged you anyway, his hug felt warm and safe.
"You don't have to thank me, Master (name)"
Then you broke away from the hug and ran to your room with a big smile on your face. You were finally going to be able to live the way you wanted, without living in the shadow of everyone. Finally free.
Once in your room you started making some calls and organizing your things quietly (not that the inhabitants of this mansion cared much about what you did) so as not to attract attention. In a week, this place will only be a bad dream and you will be able to move from this nightmare to a dream with a happy ending.
Or not?
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Hellooo! I hope you liked the start of this story! To be honest, this has been something I have wanted to do for a long time. And Let me remind you that English isn't my first language so if you find some mistakes I would appreciate fo you to tell me in a good way.
Anyway, if you liked it I'll appreciate for you leave a heart.
See you in the next one!!
-Izadi <3
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theambitiouswoman · 2 months ago
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You are not meant to just get by. You are meant to live fully.
Many of us spend our lives stuck in survival mode—constantly reacting, anxiety, defensiveness, triggered, blaming ourselves, overthinking & doing whatever it takes just to get through the day. It could feel like you’re holding everything together, but deep down you know this isn’t sustainable. Imagine waking up feeling peaceful instead of stressed. Imagine having the time and energy to enjoy life, instead of just surviving it. That reality is possible, but it starts with a choice: to step out of survival mode & into the life you were meant to live.
Survival mode is exhausting. You feel:
• Overwhelming anxiety that makes you question every decision
• Constant burnout from never giving yourself a real break
• A scarcity mindset, always fearing there’s not enough time, money, or love
• Numbing emotions, because feeling them seems too hard
But you don’t have to live this way. You deserve to thrive, not just survive.
Signs You’re in Survival Mode:
• You feel like life is happening to you, not for you.
• You focus only on what’s urgent, ignoring what’s important.
• You’ve stopped dreaming or setting long-term goals.
• Every day feels like a race you’re barely finishing.
How to Break Free from Survival Mode:
1. Pause and Reflect
Give yourself permission to stop and ask: What am I running from or avoiding? Awareness is the first step to change
2. Prioritize Your Energy
• Sleep more
• Say “no” to things that drain you
• Focus on the few things that really matter
3. Heal the Root Cause
Often, survival mode is tied to past trauma or unhealed pain. Journaling, therapy, or even talking to a trusted friend can help release those emotions.
4. Shift Your Mindset
Practice abundance thinking. Replace “I can’t” with “How can I?” Gratitude journaling can also help rewire your brain to focus on the good.
5. Invest in Your Future
Start setting small goals, even if they feel impossible. Give yourself permission to dream again & build systems that support you instead of overwhelm you
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ddiidi · 4 months ago
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bf!Bangchan x gn!reader (ot8 mentioned)
Masterlist
When he calls you clingy, so you distance yourself
Previous Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Next Pt. 3
!Warnings: angst, swearing, fun at the end bc reader needs fun in life (lmk if i missed anything)
Important!Side-Note!: Should I do a happy ending for them?
It has been 3 days since that incident. 3 days and still not a single message from Chan, not even an apology for yelling at you, nothing. You've been texting him every now and then, to ask if he's okay, eats and sleeps. He never replied to any of them, nor has he seen them, so you spend most of the time packing your stuff and working from home. You were glad you had a job you also could work from home for. Every now and then, you went over to the building, to check a few things, walking extra detours, to make sure, you won't bump into Chan.
A few of the other members texted you the past days, asking if everything is okay and why the haven't seen you around for a while, to which you just replied with "Busy with work and private stuff, dww:)". It made you happy they actually care that much about you, just because they haven't seen you in a few days, but also anxious and sad, since they care, but chan hasn't even shown any intress in you the past days. You weren't even able to tell him that you're moving.
More days pass, and a few days, turn into a week of no textes from Chan. At this point, you wondered if he even knew that you still exist.
So here you were, in your old apartment, stuffed with boxes, not being able to get your mind off chan and his well-being, even though, you're still deeply hurt from what he said, you couldn't just not not care about him....He pointed out two of your insecurities, just like that as if it was nothing and he doesn't even care...not about you not your feelings.
You let out a deep sigh. You should be getting ready for a day with your friends. Not think about some man, who happened to be the love of your life, who calls you his partner, but doesn't even know how to cherish you.
You let out another, heavy, sigh as you drop to the floor to put on your shoes, Let's just focus on having a great time today, you thought to yourself and left the apartment.
Well, maybe it was not the best decision to go out today...
Chan for his part, had to listen to a lectur from Felix, after you ran out, crying. "Chris..you really shouldn't have said all that to her. I understand that you were annoyed or whatever, but that was no reason to yell at her" "Really now? They were just being a fucking, clingy and annoying crybaby that couldn't take no for an answer, for whatever reason." chan sighed out, at the younger member. "That crybaby...was really uncalled for chris. They're your partner, not some random person on the street you can yell at. I wouldn't wonder if they took that "Leave me alone" to heart and actually leave you after that action." "But I-" chan starts, "I'm just saying chris. You better fix this before it's too late. After what you pulled, partners are faster gone than you could blink" with that, Felix leaves the room, leaving Chan alone, again.
Since that talk, Chan locked himself in his studio, thinking about the best way to apologize for what he said. But he couldn't find one. No matter how long he thought, days, a whole week, there was nothing but regret. He just had to apologize in person and beg for forgivness, hoping that you'd actually forgive him.
So there he was, with a giant bouquet of flowers, fresh clothes and hope.
He had the code to your apartment, so he opened the door, ready to be greeted by the warm, wide open hallway, but was greeted with the cold gray of bunch of boxes instead and the first thing he felt, was panic."Y/n? Y/n are you there?" he yelled, as he ran through your whole apartment, but as he saw that even all your date polaroid pictures where gone, he couldn't help but panic even more.
He let's the flowers fall on the floor, running to your room and nearly collapsed when he found..nothing. Where were you? Did you actually go? Did you actually leave him? All these questions consumed his head and that's when he broke, crying to the point he couldn't breath. He took out his phone and called the first number he saw in his recent calls. It peeped a few times, before someone took the call.
"Hey Chris everything alr-" "They're gone! Felix they're gone, they're not here i don't know what to do! I've never meant it I was just-" chan cried and gasped out at felix on the other line. "Woah there calm down, try to breath I don't understand a word. Relax, I'll be there okay? You know there is an explination for everything, that's what you always say, so try to relax it's okay" Felix tried to soothen the older man, while grabbing his keys and running out to his car. Chan didn't reply anything to that and continued soobing.
I have your location, I'll be there in 5." that's the last thing chan heared from felix, before he collapsed on the floor in your apartment.
And you? You were drinking coffee with your friends, while your bestie told you guys a story how she saw a horse that nearly drowned.
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧✧༺🖤༻✧☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
@finnbbl @wolfs-howling
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adelar-storytime · 11 months ago
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OC questions
60 questions that can be made into an OC ask game, or you can just fill everything out yourself to get to know your character a little better :)
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[1] What first impression do they typically make? Are they likeable from the get go, or take time to grow on people?
[2] How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone?
[3] What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with?
[4] How physically and emotionally affectionate they are?
[5] Are they good at keeping secrets?
[6] How direct are they in conversations, do they speak in hints and riddles or bluntly say what they think?
[7] Are they a good liar, and what would they probably lie about?
[8] How open they are about their true feelings, both positive and negative?
[9] What is their love language?
[10] How quickly do they fall for someone?
[11] What are small things that make them happy?
[12] How high is their self-esteem?
[13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any?
[14] What does it take to make them laugh, and what does their laugh sound like?
[15] How do they act around people they don't like?
[16] Do they easily rely on others to help them out, or prefer doing everything themselves?
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[17] What is their biggest struggle that no one around them is able to understand or believe?
[18] Do they ever have to hide their identity and for what reason?
[19] If they could change one thing about their past, what would they change?
[20] When they’re sad or upset, do they need company or some time alone?
[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit and take care of them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?
[22] Do they have nightmares, and if yes, when did they start and what are they usually about?
[23] What was the worst, the darkest period of their life that they have been through?
[24] How hard it is for them to not allow their emotions to cloud their judgement?
[25] Do they have fears and phobias, and if they do, do they usually keep it to themselves or talk about it openly?
[26] Do they have any physical or mental ilness, how do they handle it and how open they are about it?
[27] Do they have any scars, how did they get them and how do they feel about them?
[28] What is something that they will never be able to forgive?
[29] How do they deal with loss, stress and anger?
[30] What are their most healthy and most unhealthy coping mechanisms?
[31] How hard it is for them to own up to their mistakes and wrongdoings?
[32] Is there something they've done in the past that they deeply regret till this day?
[33] What are one of their fondest and most treasured memories?
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[34] Do they have vices they don't want others to know about?
[35] Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?
[36] Do they own items that have sentimental value?
[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?
[38] What do they usually do or where do they go when they need to feel comfortable and safe?
[39] What is their sleeping habits and favorite sleeping position, either alone and with someone?
[40] How picky they are with food, do they have specific dietary requirements based on their health or culture?
[41] What’s their usual morning routine?
[42] What is their idea of a perfect friendly hangout and/or romantic date?
[43] Do they enjoy flirting or being flirted with?
[44] On a party, where would you find them?
[45] For an event, would they dress like they typically do, or go all out?
[46] Would they rather dress to look attractive or to feel comfortable, and what would they never wear?
[47] Do they drink alcohol, and if they do, how much and how often?
[48] Are they, or were they at some point in their life, a part of any subculture?
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[49] Do they possess any unexpected skill or knowledge that surprises others, and otherwise, what is something anyone would assume they know or can do, but in fact they don’t?
[50] What are they really good and really bad at?
[51] How good are they with money?
[52] Do they speak any other languages aside from their own?
[53] Do they like to sing and how confident they are with their singing?
[54] Do they like giving gifts, and how good are they at picking good gifts?
[55] How long does it take for them to make a new place feel like home, and what do they need for it?
[56] How would they react to hearing a dirty joke?
[57] What was the most stupid or dangerous thing they have ever done?
[58] In the situation where they had to choose, would they rather stay loyal to their morals or to people they love?
[59] What would they want to be remembered for?
[60] If they were to commit a crime, what kind of crime would it most likely be?
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some of these question were written myself, some are the courtesy of my friend, and some were brought from my questionnaires in my old fandom. if you use them, please reblog or link back to this post
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ew-selfish-art · 1 year ago
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Dp x Dc AU: Jazz Fenton, after years of fixing her brother’s injuries, becomes a Doctor with an inclination towards behavioral health and psychology- In order to make the difference she wants to see in the world she joins Dr. Leslie Thompkin’s practice. 
Jazz Fenton, M.D. has spent years of her life doing research, doing the hard work and the emotional labor, and finally, finally, she’s joining a practice she can feel 100% confident in. She’s goddamn good doctor and she wants to make the biggest impact that she can. 
Dr. Thompkins (who insists that she call her Leslie as they’re colleagues now), is a kind woman, sharp as a tack and keeps her practice open at odd hours to help the most unfortunate. It took some time for them to bond and trust to be built, but now Jazz is being allotted a few night shifts here and there. 
It’s incredible. Jazz gets to spend time with the kids who come in and really talk to them (in addition to getting them antibiotics, heating pads and pokemon themed bandaids) to help equip them with a few coping skills. Her passion for psychology never disappeared after all, but the expansive knowledge of how to heal the human body has made her find a sense of fulfillment like no other.
Having proven herself and worn Leslie down, Jazz now takes up about 1/3 of all the night shifts in the month. She’s hoping to get to 50/50 by the end of the year but she’s content with what she has. Danny keeps odd hours anyway so calling him after work on her walk home can happen any time of day and he will always answer enthusiastically. 
It’s a particularly busy night before he comes in. The Red Hood. 
He was known for being an ally to Leslie, despite being on contentious terms with the Bats, but Jazz had never asked directly. Never one to turn away a patient with bullet hole wounds, she hops into action to get his wounds cleaned, sewed up and gauze wrapped. She’s handing him a sheet (an Infographic! Dani made it with her! Graphic design is her passion!) on how to care for his wounds when he first seems to recognize that she’s not Leslie. 
“No, Of course not. I’m Dr. Fenton. I can’t blame you for not remembering but I did introduce myself as you bled in the entry way. You’re Red Hood, right?” 
“Hm. Didn’t realize the practice was expanding. Where can I find-” He grumbles before pushing her hand aside from where she had still been supporting his shoulder.
“Hold on there, mister. You’re going home, you’re following this infographic and you’re going to get some sleep.” 
“Lady you don’t know-” His voice modulated ton came across antagonistically. As if he was trying to intimidate her. Ha, Jazz rolls her eyes at the inclination.
“Who I’m talking to? Who I’m dealing with? You’re hilarious. I can eat you vigilante’s hero complexes for breakfast. Tell me who I’m calling to pick you up and then you can say thank you.” Jazz snaps at him. It really had been a long night but his whole dialogue thus far is making her a bit batty. 
“Oh really Doc? You know Leslie’s tough shit, and from what I can tell you’ve got nothing on her-” 
“Trying to make me feel insufficient when I just saved your life? That’s cute. I’m sure a lifetime of abandonment by both of your parental figures gave you that. I’m also sure that you inherited this desire to prove you’re not going to be dependent on anyone who wants to help from whoever got you dressing up in tights to fight crime in the first place. Again, I’d love to talk at length about how predictable you-” 
“Bwah- wait- I’m Predictable? You’re probably some nepobaby who had parents who told her she could have the world-” But Jazz cuts him off with hysterical laughter- he couldn’t be further from the truth. Her parents loved her, but nepotism? With what, the ghosts? If anything she got that from Danny, but he doesn’t need to know about her ghostly titles. 
“You’re just some guy who came back from the dead and made his trauma everyone else’s issue. So shut it. And tell me how I’m getting you home from this clinic.” She seethes though her voice stays devastatingly level with each word. 
Speechless for a moment, he eventually relents to Jazz that he’s already called for help on the comms but it will be hours before they can come for a pick up. The sun had already come up and the night had been over for most of them before Hood had walked into trouble. She groans and the realizes the time for herself and the empty clinic around them.
“Fine. My shift just ended anyway. I’ll get you home in one piece and I swear to all the ancients that you’d better follow the directions on the infographic.” 
And that’s how Jazz ended up calling her brother while supporting the weight of a grown ass man (who no longer wanted to talk to her) on her walk home. 
The next time Red Hood appears in her clinic, he’s brought a dozen roses in addition to the cut on his neck that definitely needs to be pressurized like ASAP. Did he stop for the flowers on his way to the clinic? He’s going to pass out from blood loss! She doesn’t even like roses!
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nathaslosthershit · 1 year ago
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Welcome interruptions (Dad!Lando Norris)
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Summary: While streaming, Lando gets interrupted by two very adorable and very welcome guests
With his wife being out of the house for the time being, and the twins down for a nap, Lando had decided to jump on a quick stream for the first time in a while. Being the father of 3 year old twins didn’t leave much time to stream, not that Lando complained much.
User 1: andddd he is back
User 2: father lando gracing us with his presence
User 3: about time sir
“Alright Chat thank you, I get it. I know I have been gone for a while” He flippantly replied.
He hadn’t intended to be on as long as he had. He enjoyed streaming very much but balancing work, family, and his Twitch sidegig wasn’t the easiest. Still, he hadn’t wanted to spend as long as he was doing on the stream. Admittedly, he had lost track of time while playing and chatting. It wasn’t until two guests graced him with their presence that he realized how long it had been.
Tiny footsteps took Lando out of his haze. Turning around, he was met with two disheveled toddlers still rubbing sleep from their eyes. 
“Hello loves” he cooed, “How was your nap?”
The twins both stayed silent as they tried, and failed, to get on their father’s lap. After some assistance from Lando, his daughter finally spoke up.
“Dada, blueberries please” she muttered.
“You both want them?” He asked. Both replied yes as they laid on his chest, facing the screen that had been showing the chat comments whirling by. His son pointed wordlessly, confused at what he was seeing.
His children were by no means a secret, the minute they were born he had all but shouted his newfound father status. But convincing his wife to bring them to the paddock was not an easy task. He knew the risks and why she was uneasy. He respected her wishes to wait, but the minute they got to join him she could see how much this truly meant to him. Since then, Formula 1 fans had become well acquainted with the Norris twins. 
But this was their Twitch debut, so understandably, the viewers were excited. 
“Those are all the people watching, they are saying hi to you both. Can you say hi to chat?” Lando asked. Immediately, his extroverted daughter yelled a greeting, while his son turned his body, hiding as best he could.
“You can certainly tell which one of them got all the social skills.” He joked.
User 4: give the children their blueberries mr.norris
User 5: she certainly is her father’s child. 
User 6: please, i don’t want baby fever
User 7: oh to grow up the child of Lando Norris
“Alright, I shouldn’t torture them anymore. I’m heading off to give these angels their snacks. I will stream… eventually.” The onslaught of angry comments made Lando giggle, he was purposely trying to piss them off. “Kidding everyone, my god. You know it isn’t easy being a father of two. No matter how sweet and adorable they are.” The babies in his lap laughed as he attacked their foreheads with kisses. 
“Goodbye everyone!” Shutting off the stream and then his computer, Lando expertly lifted both his kids up and carried them out.
“Geez you both are getting heavy, either you are growing up too fast or I am getting too weak.” Hearing the giggles he added, “What? You think your father is weak? Is that funny to you two?” He jested. Grabbing them their blueberries and sitting them down at the table, he took a moment to watch his two beautiful creations messily eat. 
After finishing their plates, he cleared them and his kids to the playroom.
Picking a book from the shelf, Lando sat on the couch as his toddlers joined him on his lap.
Kissing their heads as he opened the book, they both muttered a ‘love you Dada’ that made his heart absolutely melt.
Oh what a beautiful life. 
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acrosstheujiverse · 5 months ago
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Through the Years
【📂】 summary: it’s you and your husband's silver wedding anniversary. it's been 25 years since you've married kim mingyu and you’re filled with nostalgia as you reminisce back on how life has been in your sleep. 【🖇️】 pairing: husband!mingyu x wife!reader. 【💿】 genre: nostalgia and heartwarming. 【🧺】 tags: established relationship; memories; pregnancy; mentions of religion; one mention of "cheater"; married life.  【📦】 word count: 2.5k+
📬 — author’s note!this is inspired by a real story.
thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to my headcannon post, dynamics of an introverted couple !! (check it out if you haven't).
i dedicate this to those who are raising children—we appreciate you. some of us (children) may be too afraid/shy/embarrassed to say this… but i’ll say it on behalf of them. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all your effort, support, love, and sacrifices.
*i’ve included some easter eggs! ^^
(it was my birthday 2 days ago so i was motivated to give you a gift in the form of this story hehe~ happy reading! ٩( ᐛ )و*)
p.s. please pardon any grammatical error.
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after spending the evening at a restaurant downtown, you and your husband, mingyu, walk hand-in-hand into your dimly lit house.
“huh… i guess the kids must be in their rooms right now.” you said to your husband.
all of a sudden you both hear muffled sounds in your guys’ living room.
you and mingyu exchanged knowing looks at each other. “let’s not make them wait any longer, hon. let’s go.” mingyu whispered to you.
chuckling quietly, you nodded in agreement. “let’s go, my dear lord mingyu.”
he cheekily smiled, “right after you, lady (y/n).”
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“shhh! be quiet--i hear them!”
“hurry up, aji!”
“okay... in 3-2-1—!”
“SURPRISE!!!”
both you and mingyu feigned shock and surprise.
your three kids stood in the middle of the living room beaming with joy, feeling satisfied with their surprise celebration. ,. one was holding a cake, another was holding a handmade banner, with ‘you’re the best mom and dad ever!’ written on it, and the other one setting off a confetti wand.
“HAPPY 25TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!”
you cooed at the sweet gesture from your kids.
“aww! thank you, my babies. your dad and i appreciate your efforts.”
mingyu initiated a family group hug. “thank you kids.”
giggling, all three of your kids said in unison, “you’re welcome mom and dad!” 
you gave mingyu a side hug after everyone dispersed themselves. the two of you held a warm gaze into each other’s eyes. a sweet and loving smile never leaving both of your faces.
“happy anniversary again, love~”
“happy anniversary again, hon~”
you exchanged kisses.
both of you chuckled at the déjà vu of it all.
but you and mingyu don’t mind celebrating your wedding anniversary again because this time it’s with your whole family.
it was, indeed, a mirthful celebration. 
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“goodnight, gyu.”
“goodnight, (y/n).”
as you lay in your shared bedroom, you begin to reminisce about the beginnings of you and mingyu’s relationship. you softly smiled as you slowly slipped into your dreams.
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“mom… (y/n) and i are going to be parents. (y/n)’s pregnant.”
you were both not ready to be parents. you were 23 and mingyu was 20.
you were in your last year of college, while he was in his second year.
you both were filled with limitless opportunities, but in the eyes of both your parents... it was a different story.
“KIM. MINGYU. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS??!”
mingyu’s mother was a religious woman, a devout believer of god, and an avid churchgoer.
born and raised in the countryside where everyone knew each other, both you and mingyu knew that you were going to be the talk of the town for… a while. 
(with hindsight, it was only years later that you realized how your mother-in-law took the brunt of most of the gossip.)
although mingyu’s mother was strongly opposed to the pregnancy at first, she knew she could do nothing to change the fact that you were pregnant. you were relieved that she wasn’t like those cruel stepmothers portrayed in disney movies—definitely, not. she eventually warmed up to the situation at hand and guided the both of you during your pregnancy.
you and mingyu were set to be married a month before your first child's due date. yes, it was an outdated belief that both your families held back in the day, but it was what was considered acceptable at that time. you married early because of the pregnancy, but you had already decided long before you got pregnant that he was the one. mingyu was the one that's meant to be standing beside you at the altar and the one that you were going to grow old with.
the moment that truly changed mingyu’s mother’s heart was when aji was born. the moment she first laid eyes on your first born baby girl, her eyes were filled with love. 
(she later told you that it was as if she was a first-time mother again.)
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to say that raising a child was hard would be a huge understatement.
you were blessed with three children.
the first born, aji, was the hardest to take care of because you both didn’t know what you were supposed to do. (both of your parents were there to guide you for the most part, but the rest of the work had to come from you and mingyu.) with aji, the both of you were overly protective.
the second child, chi, was less hard to take care of because now both of you had experience but it wasn’t easy. learning from all the mistakes and lessons from your first child, you and mingyu applied all the knowledge you had with chi, and for the most part all of your tactics worked. chi was a very sickly baby when she was born, and so you and your husband worked tirelessly to provide all the necessary medication that your baby needed. with chi, the both of you were protective. 
the youngest, bo, was easier to take care of because you both learned valuable things from the last two. however… the skills and tricks you had learned from raising aji and chi wasn’t really working well with bo because… he was the only boy. so it was like being back to square one again. with bo, the both of you learned to be a little bit carefree.
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your husband was a man of many admirable qualities.
kim mingyu had a strong work ethic.
in the beginning of your guys’ marriage, he would work odd jobs, anything that would pay him. anything that would sustain your growing family.
when you were pregnant with your youngest, it was an unexpected pregnancy (it was déjà vu). you noticed the signs of pregnancy early and confirmed it with a test kit. 
mingyu had a plan, you were skeptical at first but you eventually caved in. he would apply to work abroad and get a permanent residency. the work and money in your guys’ small town did not pay enough for a family of five, so mingyu looked for work outside of your country since they pay much more.
fortunately, he was there when you gave birth to bo and when he took his first steps. 
it was only when bo was about two years old that mingyu left to go abroad.
you had worked on a video call schedule with him so that you and the children would have communication with him. he’d send a few pictures and videos of his life abroad… but it didn’t fill the feeling of longingness for him in your heart. you missed him so much.
raising all three of your children without your husband by your side took a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing. the first year without mingyu was the hardest for you, but you eventually got back on your feet thanks to the support you had from your friends, and his and your family. you knew you had to be strong not only for your husband and children, but also for yourself.
and you maintained your unwavering commitment to being a great mother to your children in the five years that mingyu was gone.
it was only until bo was seven years old that he met his father again. aji was about 15, and chi was 9 years old.
his five years abroad was the longest you two have ever been apart, but it proved to be an incredible testament to the lengths you both would endure just to provide your children with a comfortable life. a life that used to only exist in the movies and dramas that you two would watch before but has now been made possible because of the hard work and sacrifices you and mingyu made.
*
kim mingyu was chivalrous.
it was the simplest gesture of his that you would take notice of: he would hold open doors for you and your children. it was an automatic response from him–you didn’t need to ask him to–he just simply did it. as a father, his gentlemanly actions set the standards and expectations of your children. they especially influence the actions of your youngest son, bo. 
mingyu was someone that’s attentive to the needs of others. an altruistic person.
he’d say to your children, “if you can help, then help.”
your husband isn’t an overly kind person. he knows his boundaries… sometimes. in your viewpoint, at times, he gets a bit into helping others to the point that he fails to recognize that they were only using him for their own selfish reasons. you were his voice of reason and helped him put a limit to his kindness.
*
kim mingyu was a homemaker.
from cooking, driving the kids, vacuuming, mopping, cleaning dishes, folding clothes, mowing, cutting and dyeing the kids’ hair (and your hair)—mingyu was an absolute all rounder around the house. but it’s not like you don’t do your fair share of house chores–you do. the two of you alternate chores every week. it’s a routinized system that the two of you made. 
*
your relationship with your husband isn’t at all perfect, but you know you’re both going to get through it together. in times where you don’t see eye to eye, or say things in the heat of the moment… both of you will silently apologize through actions. 
it’s not like you both can’t verbally apologize to one another… it’s just that the both of you are not used to expressing your emotions. you two didn’t grow up in an environment where emotions were talked about.
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once, mingyu shared a personal story with you.
it was about his father.
he shared how he was distant with his father. mingyu, as a child, hated the way his father would always leave and make his mother cry. his mother always hid away in the bathroom or their "shared" bedroom to shed her tears, away from mingyu, but he heard them. he heard her painful cries every single night. there was never a day where his mother didn't cry herself to sleep.
his father was someone who couldn’t keep his zipper up—a cheater.
his father was what made kim mingyu the man that he is now.
he hated his father. he didn't want to be like him when he grew up. so he made a silent promise to himself that he would never treat the woman that he loved and married like how his father did to his mother.
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the past 25 years of your married life and family life had its ups and downs, of course no relationships are ever picture-perfect, but you try to embrace each other's shortcomings.
after 25 years of being married, you can proudly say that 23 year old you and 20 year old mingyu would be glad to see 48 year old you and 45 year old mingyu still standing strong together. that no matter what life has thrown your way, you've both gotten through those battles  and came out victorious at the end. (some battles may have taken some time to resolve but you both remained by each other's side.)
you and mingyu may not see eye to eye on some things, but you always try to make things work. you try to make compromises with each other. 
your marriage may have started because of unexpected circumstances... but it has led you both to an unpredictably beautiful future.
a future with your three children. a future with you and him. a future with a loving family that you both only wished of when you were younger.
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tears continuously pour down your face as you remember your trip down memory lane last night. you try to quietly wipe your tears and lower your weeping but your repeated attempts at silencing yourself only stirs your husband awake.
he's shifting his body beside you to try and face you. "hon..? are you—"
but before mingyu could see your tear stained face, you quickly buried your face into his bare chest.
"woah. (y/n)—honey—are you okay?" he slightly chuckled in his morning voice.
"m jst gld yr he," your muffled voice softly answered.
"what? i didn't understand what you said. could you repeat it while looking at me... please?"
he knew just how to get you to open up to him.
darn you, kim mingyu!
you gave in to his request.
“i’m just glad you’re here…”
you looked up at him and when you met each other’s eyes, his slowly started going wide with worry. "aww, (y/n)... did you have a bad dream?" he gently brushed your tear stained eyes and cheeks.
you shook your head. "no... it was actually the opposite."
giving him a small smile, you rest your head against his warm toned chest as you begin to share the contents of your dreams.
“i dreamt about us last night. how everything started to how everything is now. it opened my mind to how much we’ve been through all these years. it made me feel more grateful to have you as my life partner and husband.”
tears started to welled up in mingyu’s eyes. his heart overflowing with even more love for you.
"thank you for fighting for us, love. thank you for fighting for me–for fighting for our family. i know many were opposed to us because of the sanctity of our marriage but we proved them wrong by staying true to our vows. i’m so thankful that i have the best husband, partner, and father (to our children)–it’s more than i could ever ask for. i love you.”
with that, mingyu embraced you ever so delicately with his muscular arms, it was as if a gentle giant holding a porcelain vase, afraid you were going to break if he applied too much pressure.
“all the promises that i’ve made to you, on our wedding day and after we were married, will never be in vain (y/n)... i can assure you that. we’ve already been through so much together; we’ve witnessed each other's worst pains and great joys. we work great as a team and i wouldn’t want to experience the rest of my life without you. i want to keep making more great memories with you. i want us to keep being by each other's side. thank you for loving me, even though i’m not perfect.”
“i’m not perfect either gyu. we both are imperfect—but it’s that imperfection of ours that i love so much. we’re not perfect but we are perfectly imperfect for each other to love. we complement each other’s weaknesses with our strengths.”
his hold on you tightened slightly, as if he was afraid you would suddenly disappear. you couldn’t see it, but a single tear rolled down mingyu’s cheek. he wore a bittersweet smile on his face. 
your sentimental words have your husband feeling bashful and so warm inside.
feeling that his throat was closing up soon, he could only muster up the courage to utter one last endearment to you. 
“i love you (y/n)… more than you could ever know… thank you for loving this imperfect me.”
- fin.
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thesecretwriter · 2 years ago
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LOVED the fanfic about Miguel. I need one with him being feral at the thought of wife!reader leaving him because he is being neglectful and is almost never home with her. Please, please, pleaseeee. I would love to read this.
P.S add smut if you want to😗
home is where you are (part 1) - miguel o’hara
pairing: miguel o’hara x wife!female reader
warnings: angst – reader tells miguel she needs a break from his absence, fluff – I think is it?? , smut – minors dni. smutty undertones, no smut described but miguel is being suggestive.
summary: in which y/n, wife of Miguel O’hara finds herself spending more time in an empty apartment that in the company of the man she chose to spend the rest of her life with.
word count: 1.4k
a/n: thank you for the request anon, I enjoyed writing it. I didn’t write smut bc the fic was already long and I am a bit tired, butttt maybe a part 2??
minors/ageless blogs dni.
masterlists  
part 1, part 2, part 3
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"I’m home, mi luz,"
The nickname he has reserved for you tugs at your heart. He explained to you that you were the light in the darkness that consumed his heart within the chaos of being Spiderman.
You look in the direction of Miguel's voice and sigh "well, that's a first," you mutter to yourself before getting off the couch walking towards Miguel.
You had spent the whole day rehearsing what you were going to say to Miguel.
You lean against the counter as Miguel leaves the packet with a logo from a Chinese take away not far from your shared apartment.
Miguel approaches you, his eyes dark and intense. His expression is unreadable, but you can feel a sense of discomfort growing within you.
"Did you miss me mi corazón?" he asks in a low voice, his eyes scanning your body as he comes closer to you.
"Well, for me to answer that question you would have to be around enough for me to miss you. So, no I did not miss you," you say, upset that he had the audacity to question if you miss him when he is not even at home most of the time.
You stay where you are leaning against the counter with your arms folded. Miguel takes this as an opportunity to cage you between his arms as he towers over you.
His eyes are fixed on you. He leans forward till he is a few centimetres away from you.
"You know that's not true mi luz. You miss me. And I miss you too, baby. I've been thinking a lot about you all day." he says, his tone suggestive and a glint of desire in his eyes.
"If you were thinking of me so much, then maybe you would be home more often. I've been wanting to talk to you about something..." you trail off nervous and avoiding eye contact with him. Miguel picks up the change of your attitude and tilts his head to the side in curiosity.
Any other day you would think that it was adorable of him to do such a thing, but now it ticked you off that he was so oblivious.
Miguel notices your nervousness and his expression turns serious. "What is it? What do you want to talk about, y/n?" he asks, his voice firm. The use of your first name is your first warning of Miguel being serious.
He is still leaning in close to you, however, you can now tell that he is tense from your nervousness.
"I want to take some time off... from us," you blurt out, wanting to get this conversation over with. Miguel takes in your words.
You want to take a break from him? the one who has the weight of the world on his shoulders. His brows furrow in confusion, but also anger.
Miguel moves closer to you, his body now pressed against yours. He leans in close to your ear, his breath hot against your skin.
"Why would you want to do that, mi vida? Don't you know how much I love you?" he whispers, his lips dangerously close to your skin.
His taunting is what gets to you. Here you are trying to tell him what you needed, and he is retaliating by trying to seduce you.
"I don't feel your love anymore Miguel. You're barely home. I wake up, you're not here. I go to sleep, you're not here. Sometimes you even leave in the middle of night when I'm asleep. I understand that the spider society is important to you, but once upon a time so was this relationship. I cannot keep living like this by having moments with you." you say, getting angrier as you speak.
Miguel notices the unshed tears in your eyes.
Miguel's expression softens for a moment as he looks into your eyes, seeing the pain and tears hidden behind them.
He knows he's been distant lately, but that's all because he's been putting in more time fighting crime around the city as Spiderman and travelling to other dimensions to help other Spider-Man/women.
"I'm sorry, mi luz. I promise to make it up to you. I'll take some time off, for just the two of us." he says, his voice sincere as he tries to reason with you.
"And then what? while we're spending time together, you'll get called into HQ and will leave me alone. It’s happened before Miguel. I already packed enough clothes for me to spend a week with at a friend’s house," You put your hands on his chest to push him away and go to get your phone to call your friend to pick you up.
Miguel feels his chest tighten at the thought of having you away from him. You're slipping through his fingers, and he must do something about it before he loses you completely.
Miguel takes a step forward, blocking your path to the phone. His eyes flash with anger.
"You're not going anywhere, y/n. You're delusional if you think I'm just going to sit back and let you leave me. We're married, you made a vow to me. Do you know how hard I've been working to protect this city and the people in it? Do you have any idea how much pressure I'm under?" he says, his voice rising in frustration.
Before you can respond, he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards him. He presses himself against you, his hands roaming over your body as he begins to kiss you. You try to resist and push him away, but he's too strong. He continues to kiss you until you finally give in, allowing him to lead you to the bedroom.
You pour all your emotion into the kiss, letting him feel the heartbreak and anguish you have every time he forgets about you.
You're too consumed in the kiss to notice that Miguel is already beginning to take off his clothes. He breaks the kiss to take of your shirt and you see that as an opportunity to interrupt him.
"Miguel stop, not everything can be fixed with-" his lips stop you from speaking as he goes back to kissing you. All you're left in is your bra and panties, which Miguel still feels is too much of clothing.
You feel his lips trailing kisses down your neck as his palms knead at your breasts. His talons poking you ever so lightly, but it’s nothing you haven't felt before.
Your moans only urge Miguel on. He thinks back to the moment he saw the unshed tears in your eyes, the moment you almost left him.
Soon, he comes to the revelation that the only way to keep you here, with him - is to breed you.
It's something you and him have previously discussed. However, with him being away so much, it slipped his mind how he wanted nothing more than to watch you bare his child.
Miguel continues to kiss you passionately, his touch becoming rougher as he begins to undress you completely. He pins you down on the bed, his muscles exposed in the dimly lit room. You can see the taut muscles in his arms as he looms over you.
"Don't fight it, mi luz. I'm giving you what you've always wanted from me," he says, his voice low and husky.
Miguel continues to hold you down and have his way with you. You can't bring yourself to fight resist him anymore, your lips move with his and you feel the spark that is always present within you when Miguel kisses you.
For a moment, you see a glimpse of the caring and loving man you married. He is still there, underneath all the coldness that has consumed him.
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professorsnape394 · 3 months ago
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Day 5: Staying with Severus
Pairing: Severus Snape x OC
Rating: 🥰
Prompt: Pillow
Summary: Y/N is forced to stay with Severus after Peeves destroys her living quarters and secrets are exposed.
A/N: Part 2 to Snapetober Day 3 'Haunt'. Again this one kind of ran away from me and turned out being a lot longer than I expected.
Warnings: casual drinking?
Word Count: 3314
Credits to the artist.
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DAY 1
“Alright, let’s hear it.” I said, dropping my bags at my feet upon entry.
“Excuse me?” Severus looked at me inquisitively.
“You said you’d have stipulations for me staying with you, let’s hear them.”
“Very well.” He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “As there is no spare bedroom you will unfortunately have to sleep here on the couch. This means, you are to wait until nightfall to arrange your sheets accordingly. Similarly, I don’t want to see them in the morning, I would like them to be removed before I awake.”
“Not a problem, I’m just grateful to be able to escape that pesky poltergeist. Anything else?”
“I expect all the living areas to be kept clean and tidy.”
“Of course.” So far nothing too unreasonable.
“No excessive noise; this means no music or singing or anything else I might consider grating.”
“Not even in the shower?” Snape raised a single eyebrow at me. “I’m kidding. I’ll keep to myself I promise.”
“No wandering, I don’t want you messing with my things. And no guests whatsoever; I do not wish to stumble upon anything I do not wish to see.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.” I smirked. If only he knew.
“I have some marking to do in my office tonight, so that will let you get settled in peace.”
“No worries, I’m just excited to take a long shower in a bathroom that’s actually clean for once. I’ll probably spend the night reading on the couch by the fire, if that’s alright with you. I haven’t had peace and quiet for so long.”
“I’ll be back around 10, until then you are free to do as you wish.”
Severus quickly made his way to the door, seemingly wanting to get out of my way as soon as humanly possible.
“Severus.” I called after him. “Thank you for this. I really do appreciate it.”
With a curt nod he way on his way.
It was a struggle to stay awake after my shower; the heat of the fire making my eyes droop almost instantly. It was the first time in weeks I was had complete silence and my body was starting to naturally shut itself down. Unable to wait until Severus returned to set up my bed, I fell asleep right there on the sofa, curled into myself to keep warm.  
DAY 2
I awoke the next morning in exactly the same with the exception of a fluffy blanket that had been gently placed over my body.
It seemed not only had Severus silently entered last night, but had also already left before I awoke this morning. There was practically no sign of any life having ever been in the small apartment that were his living quarters.
Knowing I didn’t have long until breakfast I quickly made my way about getting ready for the day, making sure to leave as little trace of myself as possible.
As I arrived in the Great Hall I flashed Severus a large smile he had no in intention of returning, his cold demeanour never having changed despite his uncharacteristically kind gesture.
“You’re looking awfully chipper this morning.” Minerva commented as I took my seat next to her.
“Let’s just say I’ve found a temporary living situation, completely devoid of poltergeists.”
“How did you manage to pull that off?”
“I took your advice.” I smiled, unable to help myself from glancing towards to the potions master.
“I see.” She grinned. “And how is it going so far?”
“Fine. I’ve pretty much had the place to myself.” I shrugged.
“You mean the two of you haven’t spent any time together yet?”
“Not really. And to be honest it doesn’t seem like he’s planning to at all.”
“Hmm.” She turned her attention to her mug of tea.
My peace didn’t last as long as I had initially hoped with Peeves showing up half way through breakfast, beginning once again to annoy the living daylights out of me. Despite his taunting getting worst a decent night’s sleep made all the difference and I was finally able to endure his taunting. My sudden disappearance from my chambers only seemed to spur the ghost on; seemingly pissed off that I had managed to find a loophole in his agreement.
From verbal taunts to disruptive actions; Peeves quickly changed tactics to more disturbing forms of chaos. He started with turning the heating off to my classroom, causing issues for not only myself but my pupils for the day. Then he took it as far as to tear up my students test sheets, using the remnants of parchment as confetti while he followed me around for the rest of the day. Yes, it was frustrating to say the least but nothing I couldn’t endure until the end of the week.
It didn’t come as a shock to me that Severus was not in his chambers when I returned later that evening. I almost felt guilty for spending more time in his quarters than he was; not fully expecting how inconvenient my staying here would be for him, but at the same time I wasn’t willing to spend any more time being tortured by Peeves than was absolutely necessary.
This time I managed to stay awake to see him return, hoping to ask him a question that had been on my mind all day.
“Hey.” I greeted him as he crept through the door.
Severus faltered at my words, clearly not expecting me to be awake.
“Good evening.” He said without stopping.
“Do you want to sit with me for a bit?” I offered, not wanting to chase him out of his own living room.
“I don’t think so, I’m not really in the mood to talk.”
“Oh okay, no worries.” The disappointment in my voice evident.
His eyes fluttered shut, a short sigh escaping his lips.
“If you’re still up for it tomorrow, we can talk then.” He compromised.
“Sounds great.”
He began to leave again.
“Wait, Severus, one more thing. Was this you?” I gripped onto the blanket I had taken the liberty of wrapping around myself again.
“You looked cold.” He said simply before disappearing into his bedroom.
DAY 3
“Hey.” I smiled, tucking my feet under myself as Snape returned from yet another night hidden away in his office.
Snape didn’t even bother to look in my direction, stalking over to his liquor cabinet on the opposite side of the room. Pouring himself a large glass of Firewhiskey, Severus raised the bottle in my direction, cocking a single eyebrow to silently offer me a drink.
“No thanks.” I smiled, lifting up my half-drunk mug. “I’m good with tea.”
He grunted in response. Taking his sweet time to drain his glass, before pouring himself another, Snape slowly made his way over to the couch.
Patting the empty seat beside me I encouraged him to join me. Unsurprisingly, he opted for the solitary leather armchair.
“So…” I tried to break the awkwardness of the silence. “How was your day?”
“Perfectly adequate.”
“Oh.” I focused my stare into my lap. I knew Severus wasn’t the warmest of men, but we had known each other well over a decade now and yet he was speaking to me like he barely knew me. While we were never friends, and I knew Severus didn’t get along with James and Sirius, I wasn’t aware he felt the same hatred towards me.
Starting to regret my want to reconnect with him, I considered maybe it would be best to keep my distance. That was until he spoke again.
“Better than your day, anyway. I hear the poltergeist hasn’t let up.” He elaborated.
“Yeah, I think he’s pissed I’ve found a hack in his system. But I can put up with it for a few days if it means I get to come home to peace and quiet every night. I never fully appreciated how truly tranquil it is down here, I understand why you want to keep it that way.”
“I’m not entirely sure if it’s a natural quality of the place or just that the students stay clear of the halls at risk of running into me.”
“Oh, come on, you’re not that bad.” I giggled, though he seemed deadly serious.
He shot me a glaring look.  
“You forget I knew you before you were like this, Severus.”
“And what exactly is this.” He sneered, taking another large gulp of his whiskey.
“I don’t know…. Intimidating? Scary? Dark and brooding. Whatever persona you’re trying to portrait, you’ve not always been that way.”
“And you would know how I used to be?”
I bit my lip nervously.
“You’re clever.” I stated, deciding it would be better to prove how well I knew him rather than to try and explain myself.  “Probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever meet, to be honest. And you’re and mysterious, in a way that’s sort of intriguing. And you can be kind… when you want to be.”
“You’re an interesting woman, Y/N.”
I couldn’t help but blush at the sudden intensity of his stare.
“How’d you mean?”
“You’re so … likeable.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“It’s confusing.”
“I don’t understand.”
“How could a girl like you end up friends with those infernal boys. I’ve never understood it.”
“Oh. Well, I don’t really know how it happened, we were in the same house I guess it was inevitable. I would study with Remus after class and Sirius seemed to take a shine to me from day one. They we’re really the kind of people I would have chosen as friends, but c’est la vie.” I shrugged.
“Did you two ever….” Snape eyed me intently before taking another swig of whiskey.
“Me and Sirius?” I scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous. He was never my type.”
“Hmm.” He hummed, seemingly satisfied.  
“It seemed to me that you and I would have been perfect friends, Severus. We always frequented the same secluded spots.”
“I liked to keep to myself.”
“I noticed. I was always just trying to find a moments peace from those boys, but I don’t imagine you ever saw me.”
“I did.”
“I just figured I was one of those people who were easily overlooked, I didn’t expect to be noticed by anyone.”
“I always noticed you.” His eyes met mine once more, daring me to be the first to look away.
Clearing his throat, he looked down at his once again empty class. I win.
“Well, I think I better turn in for the night.” The eery silence of the room threatened to swallow us whole.
“No worries.” I smiled, bashfully. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” He smirked.
DAY 4
The following night Severus returned from dinner and joined me by the fire without prompting.
He took his usual path to the back of the room; fumbling about with his glass decanter as he always had before speaking a word to me. Watching him I realised; he did this not because he was rude, as I had initially suspected, but that he was nervous and he needed a moment to himself to mentally prepare himself before joining me by the fire. The moment the tight muscles in his shoulders dropped, I knew he was ready to chat.
“Tea?” He called without looking back.
“Oh. Eh… yeah, go on then.” I said, caught off guard by his offer.
Falling back into silence I continued to watch as Severus busied himself making my drink.
Despite clearing room for him on the opposite side of the couch, he once again opted for his singular worn down arm chair.
“Coping any better with the haunting today?” He asked, still preoccupied with his drink.  
“Oh definitely. I think just knowing I don’t have to deal with him when I come back here has taken so much weight off my shoulders. I was struggling there for a while, but I don’t think there is anything he could do to me now that I can’t handle.”
“Good. That’s… good.”
The awkwardness in the air threatened to halt the conversation all together.
“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” I asked in a panic.
“No.” He answered a little too quickly. “I don’t tend to… socialise much.”
“I remember.” I chuckled, earning a stern glare from the professor. “If you want, we could go get a drink together. I’ve yet to take a wander into Hogsmeade, maybe you could remind me of the way? That is unless you’d prefer to be alone.”
“I usually do.” He hesitated. “Though there is a select few I can tolerate spending time with.”
“I don’t suppose I fall into that category.” I blushed, realising he was avoiding my question.
“You’re getting there.” He admitted. “It hasn’t been nearly as inconvenient having you stay here as I expected.”
“If you were dreading it so much, why did you say yes?” I was suddenly very conscious that I was imposing by staying here and that maybe I should have just stuck it out another week like everyone else had.
“Because you asked me to.” Severus spoke softly.
“But I was only joking, you didn’t really have to agree if it made you uncomfortable.”
“I wanted to.” He confirmed, his eyes telling me he meant it.
“Well, I know I’ve said it plenty of times, but I really do appreciate it.” I gulped, finding it hard to relax again.
“Stop stressing, Y/N, I’ll accompany you to Hogsmeade.” The tension I was holding in my body instantly eased at his words.
DAY 5
“What is this?” Snape questioned upon my entry, for once he hadn’t returned to his office after dinner. He held a weathered old book between his hands, his eyes scanning page after page.
“No idea.” I shrugged, barely looking away from my book.
“It belongs to you; a diary I believe.”
“What?” I paled. “Where did you get that?”
I had only kept a diary once in my life; I poured my heart and soul into it through my teen years at school. It contained every thought I had, every emotion I felt, and worst of all, my biggest secret I had tried so hard to hide. I kept the for the sentimental value but had otherwise forgotten it existed, buried it in a drawer somewhere in my chambers.
“It was pinned to the door… with this note.”
He held up a singular yellow post it baring the words; READ ME.
Peeves. That ghost had gone too far now.
“Give it back.” I demanded, jumping from my chair,
“Why? Is there something you don’t want me to see?” He raised an eyebrow challengingly.
“No.” I blushed.  “It’s just private.” I tried to snatch it from his grasp.
“Ah, I see. Wouldn’t want to reveal any hidden emotions or… artistic abilities.”
I blanched further.
“You’ve seen them.”
“I may have stumbled upon a few drawings, yes.”
“Oh God, please don’t tell me you’ve read it.”
“Afraid so.” He stated simply, but made no effort to stop the huge grin spreading across his face.
I hastily flicked through the pages, scanning as much as I could to gauge what he knew. The text was damning. Severus Snape knew that I was in love with him.
“You’ve read all this?”
“Yep.”
“So… you know?”
“Every. Last. Detail.”
“It’s really old; I was a hormonal teenager and I wrote down anything that popped into my head. It doesn’t mean anything, I promise.”
“I see. And the pictures?”
“They’re just sketches, I… thought you had an interesting face.”
“You never drew your friends?”
“I tried but they mostly annoyed me the whole time.”
“They’re impressive.” He noted simply, reaching for them again.
“Thank you.” I gulped.
We took to the couch again that night, Severus enjoying the embarrassment that showed on my face time he spared a glance at my sketches still spread over the coffee table.
DAY 6
“I’ve been thinking about your journal.” Severus brought up the following night.
“Hmm?” I hummed, pretending to preoccupy myself, despite the burning feeling starting to crawl up my neck once more.
“You said it was old, that your feelings for me ending during our time together at school.”
“Of course. It was just a teenage crush, nothing more.”
“So you say but upon leaving for breakfast this morning. I happened upon something else pinned to the door.”
“Really, what?” I sipped my tea, trying hard not to sound invested.
All sense of composure left my body the minute he lay a further pile of parchment on the coffee table.
“Oh.” My stomach dropped at the sight.
Another set of drawings of the potions master stared back at me; this time more recent depictions of the man.
Despite the previous sketches having taken place over a number of years the second pile was just as large.
“Care to explain?” His words were curt but his tone had a hint of amusement to it.
There was no hiding the scarlet hue of my face nor the fact I obviously continued to draw Snape in my free periods since I started at Hogwarts.
“They’re from memory.” I blurted. “It’s not like I’m sitting watching you or anything. I… I just like to draw your face.”
“Is there a reason you like my face in particular?”
“I already told you; I find it interesting.”
“Anything else?”
“No. I…”
“Y/N.” He cut me off.
“Yes?” I squeaked.
“Are you still in love with me?”
I bit my lip nervously, having to force myself from spilling my life long secret.
Snape stared me down.
I nodded before I had a chance to think too much about it. Instantly my mind went into overdrive.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s inappropriate of me to stay here when I feel this way. I just really needed help and you-“
My rambling was cut off by the crashing of his lips against mine.
“I feel the same way.” He admitted, mouth hungrily moving against mine.
“You do?” The air had almost completely left my body, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Now it was his turn to nod.
“Why do you think I was so nervous to speak to you when you first arrived. I was always jealous of those boys for getting to spend time so much time with you when I liked you so much. All I wanted was you all to myself. I just never knew how to approach you.”
“I was worried you couldn’t even remember I existed.” I let out a breathless laugh.
“Believe me, I always remembered.” He pressed his lips against mine once more, this time deepening the kiss.
DAY 7
For the first time that week I didn’t wake up on that old green velvet couch, but instead on the chest of Severus Snape.
After our revelation last night we waited no longer than walk to the bedroom to finally let out our years long pent-up emotions for one another.
We immediately fell into his dark satin sheets; our bodies becoming a tangled mess of moans and gasps until we collapsed breathlessly against one another. Severus with his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, and me with my head using his body as a pillow.
The first thing I remember thinking when I opened my eyes was that I never wanted to go back to real pillows ever again.
~
“I guess I’m finally free to leave then.” I commented as we drank our morning coffee together, still snuggled under the sheets of his bed.  
My month long haunting had finally come to an end.
“That’s true.” Severus responded. “Or… you could stay.”
“What, here?” My eyes nearly burst out my head.
“For a while.” He shrugged. “Or just tonight?”
“How about we start with tonight.” I grinned, leaning into touch.
We had plenty of time to spend together from here on out.
194 notes · View notes
prettyfastcars · 1 year ago
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you're wrong but you're so much fun | Lewis x Reader
Summary: With your mom and his dad dating, of course you would be spending Christmas and New Year under the same roof as Lewis. As annoying as your ‘stepbrother’ was, you often found yourself unable to resist his charm. But enough is enough you decided, you were done with him acting like he was superior. So you found yourself a guy to casually date for a little while, to distract you, but also to help you win whatever game was going on between you and Lewis. And the latter was not happy at all when he found out about the other man in your life. 
Themes: stepbrother!lewis, smut, jealous!lewis, bondage, mild degrading kink, dom!reader
a/n: if you want, you can read part 1 and part 2 !! Also, I’ll see you after new years now, bye bye <3
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“Who were you on the phone with last night?” 
You weren’t even done filling your plate up at the breakfast table when Lewis hit you with the accusatory tone. 
Both your parents were in the cabin this morning. Maybe the kitchen if they hadn’t moved since you last saw them just minutes ago. You could hear faint whispers of their voices and laughter, so chances were that they could still hear you and Lewis. 
However, since it was just you and Lewis at the table, of course he would resort to being mean and a bully for no reason. 
“A friend.” You replied, “Why?” 
Lewis sighed, “Because your bedroom is right next to mine and I can’t sleep if you’re giggling all night.” He sounded like the brat you thought he was. 
“Fine,” You rolled your eyes, “I’ll giggle quietly from now on.” You paused for a moment then added, “Although I don’t remember you minding me being loud that night when you comforted me during the thunderstorm, or the other day when you were giving me fashion advice in my bathroom.” 
He glared at you. “Shut your mouth.” 
You smirked at him. Even threw in a little wink. 
— 
Lewis ignored you the whole day. But that was until your mom suddenly asked you at lunch, “Hey honey, when can we meet that boy you told me about?” 
The silence which followed was heavy. 
You answered, “I don’t see why you need to meet him,” You said, purposely ignoring the confused look from Lewis, “We’re not seriously dating, it’s just… you know? A casual, temporary thing.” You ended by shoving food in your mouth. 
Lewis cleared his voice and tried to act as natural, calm and not confused as he asked, “Where did you meet this boy?” 
“Online,” You answered, and gave him a few details he didn’t ask for. “He’s staying at a nearby cabin with his friends so we’ve just been casually talking.” You added, “We have plans to meet up soon but our schedules just aren’t aligning.” 
You locked eyes with Lewis after that. You could hear your mother saying how it would be a good idea to invite the boy over when you would be having a bonfire soon, but you barely paid attention. The look on Lewis’ face, the realisation that he did not in fact control everything you do was priceless. 
You had the upperhand in this game for once, and you loved it. 
The two of you didn’t interact much after that. But you could feel Lewis’ eyes on you the whole time you were around each other. For some reason, even when you were in different corners of a room, he would still glare at you. 
Neither of you ended up even remotely close to one another that night. Which was good because he was getting on your nerves with all that staring. 
However, the following night, Lewis walked into your room all ready to piss you off some more. Maybe even to remind you that you can’t just be messing around with some random boy. But then he froze the moment he entered your room and shut the door behind him. 
There you were, standing in front of the full-length mirror next to your bed, wearing nothing but dark green, lacy underwear, and a matching excuse of a bra. See-through all of it, looking like it was some sizes too small for the amount of skin that was on display. 
But that wasn’t what bothered him. No. What bothered him was that you had your phone in your hand. He also noticed the polaroid camera on the bed. 
He saw red for a brief moment. His brain short-circuited. Fuck. 
Meanwhile you were the opposite of ashamed or embarrassed when you saw him. Having him in your room at this time, wearing nothing but his usual grey sweatpants, meant that your parents were out with their friends. 
Which means Lewis probably thought he was gonna act like he owns and controls you again. But you were ready this time. You’d had enough. 
“Oh hello there.” You said, nonchalantly as if he didn’t just walk in on you basically taking nudes. You refused to seem inferior to him anymore. He wanted to play this game? Fine, but you were determined to win this round. 
Lewis finally blinked, breaking out of whatever reverie he was in, and said, “What the fuck are you doing?” 
You turned to face him, confidently. He tried to avoid looking at you but then he gave in. Eyes roaming all over your body. You shivered for a moment, physically feeling his stare. But then you refused to let him win again. 
“You really should knock before coming into a lady’s room, Lewis.” You spoke with fake defencelessness. “Now look, you’ve caught me all vulnerable.” You pouted a little, knowing you were pissing him off. 
“You–,” He stopped talking and sighed, shaking his head. He looked at you, then at the phone in your hand, then at the polaroid camera and the photographs on the bed. “Stop this shit, alright? Else I’m gonna tell your mom.” 
You chuckled. He sounded like a kid. “Oh Lewis,” You cooed, “I’m a grown woman with a job, who earns her own money.” You stated, “If I want to take pictures of myself in lingerie that I bought, I don’t see why anyone, least of all you, should have a problem with that.” 
Lewis finally moved away from the door, stepping further into your space. Getting gradually closer to you he said, “Right.” He admitted. “I don’t have a problem with you taking pictures of yourself, but…” He leaned closer, you stood your ground even if seeing his broad shoulders, big muscles, tattoos made part of you want to roll over and offer yourself like a soft puppy for him to play with. “Who the fuck are these pictures being sent to?” 
You gave him a smug look, “That’s none of your–,” 
He cut you off by grabbing you by the throat and pulled you closer, squeezing just a little. You’d be lying if you said your body didn’t instantly react to that. You felt the need to clench your thighs together. 
“Oh I think it is.” He spoke calmly even though there was a fiery jealousy in his pretty brown eyes. “You think I haven't noticed?” He questioned. “Texting all the time, smiling at your phone, even using your phone at the dinner table.” He listed all that he had noted. “You’re gonna stop talking to that guy.” 
You scoffed, even though he had a hand wrapped around your throat, you sassed, “You can’t tell me what to do, big bro.” 
He raised an eyebrow at you, “Can’t I?” 
You persisted, “No.” You whispered, “I am done letting you boss me around.” You caught the slight frown on his handsome face. Gods… why did he have to be so handsome? 
“Is that so, little sis?” He teased, pushing you backwards until the back of your legs hit the edge of your bed. “You’re gonna talk back, now? Hmm? You’re gonna argue with big brother?”
That mocking tone of his was pissing you off. And he was much stronger than you so the only way you could overpower him would be if you caught him off guard. You moved when he least expected it. You twisted the two of you around and pushed him down onto the bed instead. 
Lewis frowned when he fell on his back on your bed. He went to get up but you were already straddling him at that point so he couldn’t get up. He didn’t want to either. This was new, he had never had you be on top of him before. 
You wrapped your hands around his ridiculously muscular, attractive neck this time, pinning him down onto the bed. Lewis was partially confused but partially turned on. You could feel it. The erection in his pants pressing up against you. 
You stared down at him, ignoring the way his hands felt free to touch and rub and caress your skin. Ignoring how good it felt, you said, “I’m done letting you treat me like I’m some petulant little girl you need to keep in check.” 
He smirked, “Well you’re acting like one right now.” He said, grabbing onto your hips, “Just let me–,” 
You cut him off, “You talk too much, you know that? And your hands wander too much as well.” You thought about it for a moment, then came up with a plan. Glaring down at Lewis you said, “Stay put.” You warned as you went to get off of him. But seeing his smirk and knowing he would try to get the upper hand again, you had no choice but to grab his hand and guide it in between your legs. 
Lewis frowned, mumbled a quiet “Fuck…” when he felt your warmth, your wetness. All for him. His fingers felt free to feel around down there. You let him, for now. 
“I said, stay put.” You repeated. “Be a good boy, and only then can you keep playing with this. You hear me?” You whispered, smirking at the look on his face. He was surprised of course, but he was into it. 
So he rolled his eyes and dropped back down onto your bed. Folding his muscular hands behind his head, he waited. You got off the bed but then stood and admired his physique for a moment. 
Golden skin. Tattoos on display. Braids untied. Muscles bulging from places you didn’t know the human body had muscles… Lewis of course didn’t mind your ogling. He loved the attention. 
You forced yourself to move upon seeing the smug look on his face. Who does he think he is? A handsome man with the body of a Greek god, that's who. 
You rummaged around your drawers until you found what you’d been looking for. And when you brought it over to your bed, Lewis began chuckling. 
“Aww what are you gonna do with that? Tie me up with a pretty bow?” He taunted, looking at the white ribbon strips in your hands. 
You smirked. “Did you know I know how to do shibari ties? You’re lucky there’s no actual rope around.” Lewis’ smile dropped when you climbed on top of him again. You chuckled, “Scared, big bro?” You teased. 
For once, he didn’t fight back. Mostly because he was also lowkey excited to see where this was going. 
You moved up his body, straddling his chest as you grabbed his wrists and tied them together with the white ribbons. Once secured, Lewis let out a breathless chuckle when you then went to tie his wrists to the metal headboard. “You’re insane,” He commented. “You really think I can’t get out of that?” 
“I’d like to see you try.” You scoffed, confident in your skills. “The ties are strong, but if you struggle too much, the silk ribbon will surely burn your skin. We don’t want that, do we?” 
Lewis glared at you, soft lips parted as he breathed slightly more heavily. 
You even added a little bow to complete the look. “There,” You said, satisfied with how strong the ties were. Not tight, but definitely locked. “You wanna see how it looks?” You grabbed the polaroid camera which was on the bed and took a picture. The photograph came out and you waved it around, blowing on it. Taking your sweet time and ignoring the gorgeous man under you. “That’ll take a while to develop, but trust me, you’ve never looked better.” You winked at him. 
“You’re gonna regret this, little sis.” He whispered dangerously, hissing in pleasure as you dragged your nails lightly up and down his exposed torso. Tracing his abs and his tattoos with the tip of your finger. Running your hands all over his chest. “Damn you.” He spoke through gritted teeth as you dug your nails in his sides playfully. 
You reached down to lower his sweatpants, and as you did, his cock stood proud and tall. Already leaking at the tip and you had barely touched him yet.
“Think you can always have your way, don’t you?” Your voice barely above a whisper. “Walking into my room whenever you feel like it, with that pretty face and sinful body…” You leaned down to kiss that compass tattoo in the middle of his chest. 
He let out a breathy laugh, “So you do think I’m pretty.” 
You looked up and glared at him. “Don’t make me gag you to shut you up, Lewis.” You warned. 
He smirked, scoffing. “Yeah right.” 
Part of you wondered if he was doing it on purpose.
“You know what? I don’t wanna hear you talk.” You got off of him and quickly took your underwear off before straddling him again. His cock remained hard, untouched and leaking. Looking irresistible. But you needed him to shut up first so you balled up the dark green material and shoved it into his mouth. 
Lewis laughed as you did, fully prepared to spit it back out. But that was until you grabbed the remaining ribbons and tied it around his head, keeping the balled up thong inside his mouth as you tied yet another bow at the front of his now gagged mouth. 
You picked up the polaroid camera again and took another picture of him. “Smile,” You taunted, capturing him tied up with white bows and gagged. “So pretty,” You murmured as you put both camera and photograph aside. 
He looked up at you with unrestrained lust in his warm eyes. He wasn’t fighting back as hard as you had imagined he would, you noticed. 
You smiled triumphantly as you rolled your hips against him, feeling his hard cock against your wet inner thighs. “Oh fuck…” You whispered, smiling when you heard his muffled groan. You could feel that familiar tingle in between your legs. And you were ready to just fuck him but, you wanted to mess with him first. 
You gave him a soft kiss on the bow right on top of his mouth, he struggled against the knots at his wrists, but you ignored him and reached down to wrap your hand around his cock. He groaned, closing his eyes and thrusting up into your fist. 
You lazily stroked his length, up and down. Your thumb rubbed his tip slowly, making him groan as you kissed your way down his neck. You kissed his skin leisurely, not rushing even though he was squirming under you, his moans and groans muffled. 
“You see how nice it is, when you shut the fuck up and stop being mean to me?” You teased, biting down on his neck while your hand moved up and down his dripping cock. You liked the sounds of his muffled moans. He was somehow more vocal now that he was gagged. 
Lewis groaned and opened his eyes to look at you. His eyes were darker, his gaze more intense and he tried to thrust his cock into your hand but then gave up because each time he did, you would just let go of his length. So he just took whatever you gave him.
At one point you checked in with him, asking, “Does anything hurt?” You pointed at his tied wrist and mouth. He glared at you with annoyance and desire in his eyes and silently shook his head. “Good,” You gave him another soft kiss on the nose before continuing. 
You released his cock, kissing down his body and bringing your mouth closer to where he desperately needed you. You smirked when you felt him squirm even more when you kissed him on his hip bones and all over his lower abdomen. 
You heard him groan, a muffled “Please…” escaping his mouth. 
You giggled at the sound of that, “Oh what’s that? Was that a ‘please’?” You watched him for a moment. Watched how he rolled his eyes at you, thrusting his hips up just trying to get you to touch him. “You’re learning your manners already, I see.” 
Then without any warning, you took him into your mouth, all of him. Slowly. Lewis’ loud, muffled moans filled the room. You sucked on his tip, your tongue teasing him as you felt your body tingling with need too.
You kept your eyes on his perfect face as you sucked on his cock. He closed his eyes momentarily, as he tilted his head back. He looked even more ravishing, completely at your mercy for a change. It made you feel powerful. 
He twitched against your tongue and you tasted some of his pre cum. You slowed down, not wanting to make him come just yet. You licked his cock from bottom to top while your hands toyed with his balls. Lewis moaned, his voice muffled still, making him sound needy and desperate. 
You dragged your tongue over the slit on this tip very lazily, causing him to thrust his hips up. You were driving him crazy and you loved it. 
Lewis moaned even louder the moment you pulled your mouth away, lifted up and sank down on him, your wet warmth wrapping all around him making him groan. Your walls clenched around him, making both of you let out guttural moans. 
You leaned in and kissed his closed eyelids, cupping his face in your hands as you slowly rocked back and forth, feeling him deep inside you. “Fuck… why do you have to feel so good, huh?” You chuckled when he tried to pull against the white ribbon strips, but all in vain. “Guess I did successfully tie you up with a bow, didn’t I?” 
You heard a rare whine from him. He sounded so vulnerable, and desperate that it made you speed up as you rode his cock. Your walls gripping him tightly and making him get louder and louder each time. You watched him whine and smirked at his helplessness. 
“Not so cocky now, are you?” You teased. “Beg for it, come on.” You said more sternly, whispering against his mouth, lips hovering above the white bow. “Oh what? You can’t?” You laughed, “You can’t even beg, can you?”
Lewis groaned louder. His desperation was quite clear. And he began to thrust his hips up trying to match your pace. But you messed with him even then, you slowed down your pace whenever he got too excited, and you sped up when he least expected it.
Soon, Lewis was just a moaning mess under you. Cock throbbing inside you, moans muffled, his hands just gave up trying to break free from your ties. But fuck he was a vision… 
Lewis got loud, growling as you teased him, riding his cock perfectly. There was nothing else he could focus on in that moment. 
You eventually gave in. “Are you ready to come for me?” You asked, looking deep into his eyes. His pleading stare told you he was. “Go on then, come inside me, big bro.” 
He was so close anyway that he came right after. His moans begging you to slow down when you kept riding his sensitive, throbbing cock even after he came. His heart raced, he was breathing hard and fast as you came as well, clenching around him violently. 
You caught your breath for a minute, then quickly untied his hands and pulled the thong from his mouth. You leaned in to kiss him, slow and gentle this time. “You did so good,” You murmured against his soft lips. “Who knew you’d be such a good boy the moment you’re tied up?” 
Lewis kissed you back lazily. Quiet, for once. He didn’t have a sassy reply this time. His hands hesitated to wander this time, only barely brushing against your thighs. 
You kissed his warm, damp chest, murmuring, “If you want us to keep doing this, you’re gonna stop being mean all the time, alright?” You looked up to see him watching you with a strangely calm look on his face. 
“Fine,” He muttered, like it was an inconvenience to him. 
You scoffed, “Look at you pretending you didn’t like being tied up.” He avoided your eyes immediately and you couldn’t help but laugh. But then you remembered… 
Straddling him once more, you reached for the polaroid photographs. “Aww,” You cooed, showing them to him, “Look how pretty you look, white bows and all.” 
Lewis just groaned and shoved you aside. You laughed as you landed beside him on your bed. You expected him to get up and walk out of your room but he stayed put. Processing, maybe. 
“Here,” You handed the polaroids to him as you tangled your legs with his upon turning on your side to look at him, “Keep them.” 
Lewis reluctantly took them then sighed and said, “I hate you.” 
You checked the mental scoreboard and there it was, a first win for you. “I know you don’t.” You winked at him. 
812 notes · View notes
disneyprincemuke · 10 months ago
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i got the best friends * fem!driver
they have a birthday tradition that stemmed from her efforts to make sure that they were homesick spending their birthdays so far from home
pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver
notes: hi i have another update are you ready are you ready bc i am not
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
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-> april 6 2023
the bed dips, oscar groaning as he nuzzles his face into his pillow. “no.”
“yes!” a shriek fills his once silent room as the other side of the bed dips once more. “happy birthday, oscar jack piastri!”
he groans, “not the full name!”
“oh, good morning, you guys,” he hears lily say, feeling her starting to pull the blankets off her body. “oh, pancakes! if oscar doesn’t want them, can i have them?”
“i made you your own pancakes!”
“how is that supposed to make me feel special on my birthday?” oscar finally sits up, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the sight of his best friends kneeling between his and lily’s body. “why does she get pancakes too?”
the girl, facing him slightly blinks at him blankly. “because i made the pancakes.”
oscar tilts his head, moving his focus to logan who’s also holding a plate of pancakes. logan shakes his head, “i made them — she forced me to make another batch for lily.”
“okay, enough yapping,” the girl waves them off.
on her plate is a stack of 3 pancakes with a lit orange candle stuck on the top. it’s a yearly tradition that started when he turned 14, oscar waking up to pancakes on the morning of his birthday spent in her household.
she had made an attempt at cooking pancakes only once in her life: the morning of oscar’s 14th birthday in 2015, claiming that she didn’t want him to feel homesick spending the day with a family he’s not even related to. it wasn’t a good attempt because logan took over the minute she got eggshells in the batter they were making together.
they ate pancakes that morning before they left to spend the day outside to celebrate oscar’s birthday.
and it’s been a tradition ever since for anybody’s birthday.
“happy birthday, osc!” she grins, holding the plate towards him. “make a wish.”
he takes a deep breath, catching lily’s stare as she sits next to the girl on the bed, then he blows away on the flame. “what are we doing today?”
logan shrugs, taking a spot next to lily on the bed with his plate of pancakes to distribute to everyone else. “she suggested karting at this track nearby.”
“or,” she points out, reaching out to logan’s plate to get herself a pancake, “i reckon we can stay home and watch movies and play mario kart.” she turns to oscar with her lips pressed together. “unless you made plans with lily.”
lily perks up and shakes her head. “god, no! we didn’t make plans!”
“wow,” logan mutters, turning to look at oscar. “can you believe her?”
“no, it’s not like that, of course!” lily shrieks, cheeks flushing as she waves her hands in the air to dismiss logan’s accusations. “i just know that you guys like spending the day together on your birthdays. besides, we celebrated yesterday.”
oscar hums, nodding his head as he starts to devour his own set of pancakes. “yeah, we’ve been doing that for years so that you don’t interrupt us doing couple stuff.”
“maybe oscar’s the one who hates us, dude,” logan mutters, looking down momentarily to sell his emotions. “i wouldn’t be shocked if that were the truth.”
the girl plops herself at the foot of the bed, sighing loudly. “what do you suppose we should do today, birthday kid?”
-> december 1 2023
she feels her body being shaken, slowly pulling her out of her sleep. she lifts her head from her pillow slightly and takes a peek with one eye open. “logan? what time is it?”
“midnight,” logan whispers, his face slightly illuminated by the flame from the small candle in his hands. “oscar and lily are dead asleep right now.”
“i would hope so,” she whispers, moving slightly to sit up properly. “it’s midnight — you made pancakes at midnight?”
he shakes his head, moving slightly and holding something out to her. “i got you a cupcake. oscar and lily said they’d make the pancakes as per usual tomorrow morning.”
she tilts her head. “why–”
“could you make a wish and blow the candle out first before you have to eat a cupcake with candle wax as a topping?” logan rambles, watching the candle intensely.
for some reason, they don’t own a lighter in their apartment, so he had to venture back to the kitchen stove for a fire source to get the candle lit and walk back to her bedroom. waking her up was the hardest part — she jumps up when woken up abruptly and seeing that he’s holding a cupcake with a flame on it, that wasn’t the best outcome.
she nods hurriedly, leaning forward to blow the candle out in a swift motion. the flame is extinguished and leaves them in the dark and silence of her bedroom. she reaches over to her bedside table, turning on her lamp to finally catch a look at logan’s flushed cheeks and droopy eyes from his tiredness.
“so what’s the cupcake for again?” she whispers, moving up and patting the empty spot on the other side of her bed. she takes the cupcake into her hands when logan crawls over to the empty spot. “thank you though.”
logan shrugs, tucking himself under her blankets with her. “felt like you needed an extra cupcake for your 21st birthday.” he puts his hands on his lap and turns to her with a grin. “happy birthday — you’re officially an adult everywhere now.”
she grins, “thank you.”
-> december 31 2023
“happy new year’s eve!” she throws her hands in the air, hair up in a ponytail as she approaches logan.
logan perks up, walking away from his once fruitful conversation with his brother. he throws his arms around her smaller frame, tightening his arms around her. “you made it!”
“of course,” she snorts, pulling away and taking a step back. “and, duh, it’s my best friend’s birthday!”
typically, she spends new year’s eve back in europe with her family. but she’s got team commitments in new york right as the year starts and it was easier — and cheaper — to travel from miami than it was to come straight from home.
“pancakes?”
“i made them!” she grins as logan slings an arm around her shoulders, walking towards the building. “i set them in the room your mother brought me to, though. you don’t mind if i pull you away from the party for a while, right?”
“i’m sure dalton doesn’t mind.”
“oh, my gosh! i forgot to say hi to dalton!”
she tries to spin out of his arms, but the younger brother of the two only reels her back into their walk towards the house. “you can say hi later. it’s my birthday, remember? birthday pancakes first.”
“right.”
they spend the walk up to the spare guest bedroom talking and giggling over the happenings of her flight to miami. surprisingly, it had gone well; well enough for her to be convinced that flying alone isn’t too bad of an ordeal.
she opens the door to the bedroom logan’s mother had prepared for her, neatly prepped and carefully catered to the younger girl. on the table in one corner of the bedroom is the pancakes that she promised with a candle lying stray on the table with a lighter next to it.
“wait, did you say you made this?” logan hums, lifting an eyebrow. “is it safe to eat?”
“so i didn’t make it,” she sighs, rolling her eyes. “i didn’t have the time and you’ve said multiple times that pancakes aren’t as good when they’re cold. i bought them before i drove down here to your parents’ house.”
logan puts a hand over his chest. “aw, how sweet! you went out of your way for me?”
she lights up the candle and pokes it into the top pancake. “don’t act surprised. we’ve done this for one another forever.” she turns around and grins as logan approaches her slowly, lifting the plate. “happy birthday, logan.”
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgificrecs @localwhoore @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @louvrepool @inejismywife @love4lando
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redsrooftopprincess · 4 months ago
Note
Could you do anymore headcannos for the tmnt 2014/2016 boys? Idc what the headcannon is but I love it hc so much
Sleeping Headcanons
Headcanons you say? Let's get into it!
Warnings: mental health, drugs/alcohol
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We spend nearly half of our lives asleep, and the boys are no different! They're a little backwards, being basically nocturnal, but they sleep (and struggle to), just like anybody else.
Leo
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Bed. Leo is a traditionalist and sleeps on a firm Japanese Futon. He sleeps on his plastron because that's the most practical. He's usually on his side, hugging a pillow, by morning.
Temperament. Even as always, unless he has a migraine, then he's in his room the second he gets home. Dark and quiet. If someone disturbs him, he'll get up and address whatever it is that needs seeing to, but don't expect conversation. However, he *is* a morning person! They all hate him until about 10 am.
Routine. If he has a headache he'll usually have no choice but to just lay down the second he's off the clock. If he doesn't, he has a very strict routine that is *always* adhered to, or he can't sleep (no, that's not a joke):
Tea (usually jasmine) with Dad while processing the day.
Shower.
Teeth.
Undress.
Meditate for 30 minutes.
Sleep.
The morning is much the same but in reverse:
Wake up.
Meditate for 15 minutes.
Get dressed.
Downstairs for coffee/breakfast/discussing the day with Dad.
Training.
Sleeping with a partner. Having someone around to upset his routine is ROUGH. Don't ask to sleep in his bed. Seriously, don't. Sharing *his space* is a HUGE step for him and if you push it, it'll just take longer. He'll start small, inviting you into his room for tea. Be PATIENT with the boy. Once you start sleeping in his bed it'll take him a while to get used to it. The first few times he doesn't sleep. But eventually, you worm your way into his routine, and he can't sleep without you. Until then, he will happily hold you until you fall asleep, even stay watching over you until morning. But he won't sleep.
Mikey
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Bed. Pillow pile! He started collecting pillows as a kid to add to his hoard, which is now comically large and takes up 1/3 of his room. He loves the weird ones and has ones with tassles and beads and insane shapes. It's actually pretty impressive and could probably double as a modern art piece!
Temperament. It's all good! No matter what state he's in, he's always the life of the party. Always.
Routine. He's usually parked in front of the TV until everyone disperses (video games/tv/ect). Then, depending on how hard his depression is hitting that night, he'll either grab a bong (hard) or a bottle (harder). He'll drink in his room , but he'll skate down one of the south tunnels to smoke because he doesn't want to hear about it from Leo. Splinter knows about the weed, but doesn't have a problem with it, because it really does seem to help. He would, however, have a problem with the liquor. Once Mike is thoroughly gone, he tosses himself on his pillow pile and attempts to pass out. Sometimes he does. He gets hangovers from the alcohol, but the second he wakes up that mask is firmly back in place and he's good to go! 😃
Sleeping with a partner. ALL. THE. CUDDLES. Expect him not to let go. Like, pee beforehand. He may not be as big as his brothers, but he's still pretty damn heavy. You are HIS Angel. You are HIS miracle. And you aren't going ANYwhere. Lots of nuzzling/scent marking, LOTS of churring, and when he does eventually fall asleep, he snores like a diesel engine. Just poke him in the side and he'll shut up.
Don
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Bed. What's a bed? You mean the cot in his lab? On the rare occasion that *someone* convinces him to actually sleep in a bed, it's pretty much whatever bed or bed-adjacent thing they bring him to. By the time he's tired enough that he can be convinced, he's too far gone to care.
Temperament. When Donnie is tired, expect to be snapped at. He'll apologize immediately, but his temper is a hair trigger when he needs sleep. And my dude goes until he stops. Don's body wakes up before he does. Expect mumbled one-word answers that may or may not make sense as he gradually comes to consciousness over the next half-hour.
Routine. Donnie doesn't make the decision to go to bed. He just wakes up and it's later. When he does wake up, his body has been conditioned to perform all the necessary morning tasks without him having to actually be fully conscious. Sit up. Grab freshly brewed espresso from desk next to cot. Shotgun espresso. Wrap joints. Stand up. Go to kitchen for second cup of coffee (because Raph has already brewed a pot, and because at some point in his teenage years, his father insisted on seeing him at least once a day). Make/drink coffee. Eat the closest edible thing. Go back to the lab. By this point, his conscious mind has usually kicked in and he can get back to work.
Sleeping with a partner. I hope you like to be lulled to sleep by computer fans! You'll get used to the phrase, "go and lie down, Dove. I'll just be a minute." It's always a lie. You know it. He knows it. The wall of computer towers behind you knows it. But he does the song and dance, anyway, because he thinks it makes you feel better. It doesn't. If he does happen to fall asleep with you, of COURSE he's the big spoon. He wraps himself around you and holds you as close as he can (he's still working on getting past all those pesky air molecules), with his beak buried in your hair so that he can breathe you in as he falls asleep (at least the air molecules are good for something).
Raph
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Bed. My guy is BIG, and needs a ton of support. A traditional flat mattress is uncomfortable unless he sleeps on his plastron which he HATES doing. His carapace is HEAVY, and it feels like he's literally being crushed under his own weight. Besides, he's in enough pain when he wakes up, and as much as he loves working out, he really doesn't want to have to do pushups first thing in the morning. Instead, he has a carbon fiber hammock that he wove himself. It hangs from a reach stacker arm modified with two lifting jacks bolted to the floor, all "liberated" from the shipyard. It supports all of him with the added benefit of pressure on all sides due to his weight, which helps him sleep, especially when he's in a low.
Temperament. When he's tired he's a grump. He's not quick to anger, but expect a lot of grumbling and begrudging acquiescence to things. He doesn't usually push it too far before heading to bed, because let's face it, pain is exhausting, and if he's laying down he's not having to hold himself up. He's not a "morning person," but he's usually okay as long as he knows there's a cup of coffee in his near future.
Routine. Pretty standard. Shower, teeth, etc. Once in bed, he'll mess around on his phone for a while, watching movies/tv/anime, before eventually falling asleep. In the morning, he rolls out of his hammock and heads to the kitchen for coffee with his Dad before everyone else emerges. After that it's his morning workout and he starts the day. Honestly the mostly boring/normal out of all of them.
Sleeping with a partner. He won't sleep in your bed. He just won't. Don't ask. He'll hold you until you fall asleep, no question, but he won't stay. The only hope for a sleepover is at his place. He likes to give you a big hug around the middle and roll into the hammock with you, and it always leaves you giggling as you snuggle up against his plastron. That's when he sleeps best, with you laying on his chest, his arm wrapped around you. Not only is it added pressure, but this way he knows you're safe.
.......
Tag list:
@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos
242 notes · View notes
musaslullaby · 5 months ago
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18
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Kimi Antonelli x fem reader
Summary: Kimi's girlfriend is planning a surprise for him.
Warning: only fluff, au instagram
Face: random people on Pinterest, Kimi Antonelli and his friends.
a/n: Here's my way of wishing Kimi a happy birthday, trying once again to use this style of writing.
Masterlist
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪
Kimi.antonelli
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Description: Summer vacation is almost over, and we'll be back on track soon, but in the meantime, let's have some more fun.
liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc and other 132143334
Yn_official: I miss you.
Kimiantonelli: I miss you too❤️
KimiYnbaby_: Wait, didn’t Yn go with him?
f1lover: No, she had family commitments.
KimiYnbaby_: okok
Olliebearman: Don’t have too much fun without us.
Yn_official: I’m keeping an eye on you, Antonelli.
Yn_loveu: All Formula One and Two fans in America will chase Kimi on behalf of Yn.
Yn_official
Stories blocked for Kimi.antonelli
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Kimi.antonelli
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Description: Family reunited❤️
liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc,Yn_official and other 132143334
Yn_official: I love you and missed you so much, but this doesn’t make up for the sleep I lost picking you up at the airport.
arthur_leclerc: What a terrible boyfriend.
Yn_official: You can say that again.
Kimi.antonelli: Bullying even on my birthday.
Kimimylife: Guys, do you think he knows?
Yn_kimi: No, he doesn’t.
AntoKimi: I’m just waiting for someone to ruin everything😂
Kimi.antonelli: What are you all plotting?
Olliebearman: You’ll understand.
Yn_official: Shut that damn mouth, Ollie.
Olliebearman: At your command🫡
Kimi.antonelli: You guys scare me.
Kimi.antonelli
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liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc,Paularon and other 132143334
Description: Sports and relax with the boys.
Kimi_Yn: Guys, the plan has begun.
Olliebearma: Dude, you suck at tennis.
Paularon: I beat him three times.
Kimi.antonelli: Those are just details.
Yn_official
Blocked for Kimi.antonelli
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liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc and other 132143334
Description: Preparations have begun 🤫🤫
Yourfriend_: Stop taking photos and come help us.
Yn_official: Sorry.
Olliebearman: We’ll keep him here for a bit longer, but he’s starting to miss you.
YnandKimifan: How sweet, Kimi wants to spend his birthday with Yn.
Ynlover: Don’t make him wait too long, Yn.
User90: Guys, I’m waiting for the video of Kimi’s reaction.
Lovef1: Oh my God, I hope they do it.
Yn_official: Start bringing home the chicken.
Paularon: We’re on our way.
Olliebearman: As you wish, future Mrs. Antonelli.
Kimimylife: Oh my God, I can’t wait!
Loverkimyn: We’re more excited than they are.
Kimi.antonelli
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liked by olliebearman, arthur_leclerc,Yn_official and other 132143334
Description: Best birthday ever, thank you for this surprise party. I really don’t know how to thank you.
I had so much fun, and now I feel officially ready to start the season again.
A special thanks to the love of my life (I know this was your idea) I love you so much.
Yn_official: Trust me, after this party, you’ll need at least a month to recover.
Yourfried_: Ollie drank so many shots that he passed out on the couch.
Olliebearman: Hey, you don’t have permission to post that photo, and when the hell did you take it?
LoverKimi: But Yn ignoring the last part of the post😂😂😂
Arthur_leclerc: Oh yes, that’s true love.
Olliebearman: Yn, please respond to Kimi’s “I love you” before he starts crying.
Yn_official: Of course, I love my favorite drama queen.
Kimi.antonelli: 1. I wasn't crying 2. I'm not a drama queen 3. I love u too.
Ynqueen: Yn looks amazing in the third photo.
Kimilover: Can we talk about Kimi and Yn in the fourth photo?
Ynkimi: I wish we had a video of Yn and Kimi’s amazing voices.
Arthur_leclerc: By the way, I’m mad because you put Charles on the cake and not me.
Kimi.antonelli: Please, that cake is beyond amazing.
user09: Whoever chose it deserves a prize
Yn_official: Here I am to claim my prize.
Charles_leclerc: Inferiority complex, Arthur?
Arthur_leclerc: You’re not important enough to give me an inferiority complex.
Yn_official: Arthur has officially roasted his brother.
356 notes · View notes
oddinary4bts · 7 months ago
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Coffee Stain | jjk
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☆summary: you grief, and it's the expression of your everlasting love for Jungkook.
☆pairings: Jungkook x reader
☆rating: 18+ (it deals with heavy themes)
☆genre: grief!au, angst
☆warnings: this is a grief!au so it's rough. jungkook died and reader tries to grieve him. lucid dream where she sees him and talks to him again, curses, a lot of crying
☆word count: 1.9k
☆a/n: this hurts. idk why i wrote it. i was sad watching a sad instagram reel and then this happened. i apologize, and i love y'all, and if you need to talk just reach out <3 i'm always here for you guys.
☆☆☆☆☆
            There’s been a coffee stain on the kitchen counter for weeks.
Staring at it, you can almost hear the laughter it brought forth then. A laughter of crinkling doe eyes, of a bunny grin and arms wrapping around your middle. It’s a hand clutching around your heart, like it used to clutch around your fingers.
It’s the ghost of bodies entwined that weren’t meant to be separated.
In the bathroom, his towel has started to smell like humidity instead of the body wash he used, the one he claimed was good for his hair too. A 3-in-1 combo thing, something you used to tease him constantly about. And though the smell is a sign that you need to clean the towel, you can’t bring yourself to do the laundry.
In fact, you can’t bring yourself to do any chores. You just let Bam out three times a day, and then you go back to bed. Back to a cold bed that was supposed to be an island of you and him.
Now it’s an island of your grief, of tear-stained pillows and sorrow-filled sheets.
The sun rises and sets every day, but time has stopped. Time stopped on a surprised rainy day when he didn’t come home.
And he’ll never come home again.
It burns. It burns like the pizza you put in the oven, thinking that maybe you’d eat for the first time in weeks. The smoke pricks your eyes, suffocates your lungs. You hope it’ll steal your breath like his breath was stolen, too.
A last exhale, one you weren’t there to share.
You open the windows to air the room, and late spring flows in. Chirping birds and a soft breeze surround you, and you feel sick to your stomach. Because he won’t experience any other season. His life ended on a rainy April day, forever altering yours in the process.
Bam watches you from where he’s lying down by the door, still waiting for him to come home. Indeed, he’d used to come home around this time every day, to whisk you in his arms and tell you he loves you. But not that day.
No, that day, you sat on the couch watching the raindrops chasing themselves on the window, your phone clutched in your hand because he’d been supposed to be home an hour ago. When the phone rang bringing the news, your life became quiet.
It’s been quiet since then.
Your friends come over in the evening, with food you try to eat. You remember evenings that you’d spend with them and him, laughing and playing games and doing everything that young people do.
Young people aren’t supposed to die. Or so you tell yourself as you follow the conversation, but never participate, like maybe he left with your voice too. Your friends don’t complain about it – they know how much he meant to you, how much you meant to him, too.
You wonder what he’d say if he were here tonight, and you think you wouldn’t be able to hear it. Not when you haven’t been able to listen to his last voice message again, even though it sits on your phone, a keepsake of your love gone too soon.
When your friends leave, they hug you tight, though it’s never as tight as he used to hold you. Because he was the only one to know how to hold your pieces together and tonight, like every night since then, they fall apart. They fall apart like dandelions in the wind, so easily blown away.
You go to bed, Bam with you, staring up at the ceiling, imagining that it is his body next to yours. That it is his soft snores you can hear, his gentle breaths dragging you to sleep hours after you lied down.
You wake up feeling different. The light shines differently, like it’s from another world. The apartment smells of bacon and coffee, and you furrow your brows. The bed is empty, yet warmth lingers in the sheets next to you.
You step out of bed, tiptoe on a floor that you know to be usually cold in the morning, yet today it’s warm. You’re wearing an oversized white t-shirt he usually wears, and you feel like you’re forgetting something, yet you can’t quite tell what.
You walk out of the bedroom, and Bam greets you like he always does in the morning after his walk, with his tag wagging so wildly it’s making his whole body shake from side to side. You laugh, petting him as he tries to jump on you so that he can lick your face, though he eventually abandons to trot to the kitchen instead.
You follow behind him, smiling at the sight of his naked back, as he cooks something on the stove.
“You woke up just in time,” he tells you, shooting you a quick glance over his shoulder.
His eyes are sad. A sorrow deeper than the ocean hides in his pupils, and you’d frown if you hadn’t missed him so much.
“What are you making?” you ask.
He motions to a bowl on the counter. “Pancakes. And bacon and coffee, too.” He glances at you again, like maybe you disappeared while he was looking at the pan on the stove. “You can pour yourself a cup of coffee while I get everything ready.”
You nod, smiling softly, before doing so, grabbing your favourite mug from the cupboard. You frown – wasn’t there supposed to be a chip in it? Yet the mug looks pristine, entirely new. You shrug it off, and then you pour the coffee, before pouring one for him too. You set them on the table and sit in your usual spot, looking out the window.
The sky outside is purple and bright, and you think you can see constellations dusting it.
You know. You’ve known since you woke up, but you don’t care.
You watch him as he finishes cooking, and then he carries the food over to the table. He sits next to you, in his favourite spot because he gets to see you and the TV at the same time. The TV is not on right now, and his attention is solely on you, like he’s drinking you in like you’ve been drinking him in.
“How did you sleep?” he asks.
His eyes are infinitely sad. It’s startling, and you can’t bear the weight they hold. So you focus on your food, while he sits there watching you.
“I slept okay,” you reply. “You?”
He chuckles. “I slept too much.” He sighs, and it’s heavier than the universe. “I’m always sleeping lately.”
You laugh, because what else are you supposed to do?
“You’re awake now,” you tease, and you pat his arm.
His skin is soft and warm, void of any scars.
“Only because you’re here,” he replies, and he smiles again as you meet his doe eyes. “Now eat.”
You obey, enjoying the taste of his food – he’s always made the best pancakes, and today is no different. You even think they’re better, though you reckon that would be impossible.
“You should make pancakes more often,” you say when you’re done eating. “I can’t remember the last time you made them.”
He chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners, yet the depths remain eternally sorrowful. “I’ll make them again soon.”
You smile, pausing to admire him for a few seconds before you ask, “Should we go back to bed?”
“We’re not Sunday,” he teases.
You narrow your eyes. “It can be Sunday just this once.”
His giggles accompany you as he grabs your hand and pulls you to the bedroom, and soon you’re in bed again, laughing as he tickles you.
“Fuck, I missed your laugh,” he says, and you pout.
“I missed you,” you answer.
He nods, and the sadness invades all his features. “I know.” Bam appears, jumping on the bed to lie next to you while Jungkook kneels between your legs, hands still resting on your sides. “You’ve been taking good care of Bam?”
“Yes,” you say. “We’ve been taking a lot of walks.”
He grins like the sadness was never there, and then he turns towards the dog. “Aren’t you lucky?”
Bam rolls on his back as Jungkook starts petting him, and soon he’s rubbing the dog’s belly, cooing like he’s talking to a baby. It’s adorable, and you admire the view even though it hurts so deeply you think you might be dying.
When he’s done with the dog, he looks at you again, a soft smile gracing his lips. “What have you been up to?”
You sigh, and you pull on his arm until he’s lying with his head on your chest. “Nothing.”
“That sounds boring,” he teases, and you think you feel his tears wetting the shirt you’re wearing, though you don’t mention it.
“Hey, I’m just doing my best,” you reply, pinching his side.
He laughs. “I know.”
“How long until you have to go?” you ask.
He sighs, and he glances at the time on the night table. “Not long.”
You rub a hand on his back, your arms tightening around him. He looks up at you, and you meet his gaze, hoping to find an eternity in them.
“I wish you could stay,” you whisper.
“Me too.”
He kisses you then, his feather soft lips meeting yours for a short embrace of the love you share. Your heart settles in your chest, your ache momentarily forgotten, and you wish to get lost in him. Wish to stay here with him forever, but he inevitably pulls away from the kiss, looking over his shoulder.
“It’s time to go,” he says.
You nod, because you know. You feel it too, and so you force yourself to get up. He quickly puts a shirt on, and then you follow him to the door.
“Text me when you get to work?” you tell him, eyes filled with tears.
“I will.” He meets your gaze, his own eyes lined with silver. “Please be safe.”
You chuckle. “You be safe.”
“Always,” he says. He opens the door, looking outside, but he doesn’t move for a while.
“Should we hang out again soon?” you ask, hoping that it’ll make him stay.
He looks back at you. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
You nod, and he takes a step outside. He’s fading out of focus, yet you try to hold onto it, to keep him here with you. It’s like it works – he turns back around, and then rushes to you, wrapping his arm around your waist as he hides his face in your neck. But you’re losing him again – already, the apartment has faded away, and all that’s left is the purple sky with its infinity of stars.
“I love you,” you whisper as he, too, fades away.
In the vast expanse of nothing, you think you hear him saying it back. You reach for him, and you think you can see him again, see his smile, though he’s just a little too far for you to touch.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come home.”
You wake, the bleak light from the sun filtering through the blinds, and the sky proves to be the blue of sorrow again. Grief, the expression of your everlasting love, sits on your chest, and you can’t breathe.
“I love you,” you whisper through the pain, and you mean it, more than you’ve ever meant anything before.
After all, there’s been a coffee stain on the kitchen counter for weeks.
☆☆☆☆☆
if you need to talk please reach out, and also don't hesitate to scream at me for this bc idk wtf it is
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