#you just have to be nice to people. like i know it sucks when you have a personality disorder i'm like basically a sociopath.
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gaywineauntsstuff · 3 days ago
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Headcanon that bludhaven hates heroes with a flaming passion bc theyre just cops in tights but love Nightwing and therefore vehemently deny his hero status to anyone and everyone.
Like there is no official Nightwing merch bc he’s a criminal he’s committing a crime okay vigilante justice is in fact not legal and he’s not TECHNICALLY on the justice league and he’s NOT TECHNICALLY the leader of the titans anymore. But there are about 400 different Etsy stores that make hoodies, crop tops, joggers, sweats, sunglasses, bracelets, t shirts with nightwings logo or some art of him on them.
Like they love this guy and will get into beef with any Gotham national who tries to claim Nightwing is THEIR hero.
1) hes not a hero he’s a criminal fuck you
2) you have a hero and just bc he’s shit at his job and needs our guy (who is NOT a hero) to help him sometimes doesn’t MEAN SHIT
people are walking around with tiny v shaped blue tattoos or embroidered on clothing but again NOT A HERO BLUDHAVEN DOESNT DO HEROS
There are coffee shops with bad nightwing pun names nightbird, beanwing, nightwinging it and so on
Every third piece of graffiti is this man’s logo
Every sandwich place or fast food chain has a ‘secret menu item’ that’s not actually secret bc everyone orders it and it’s just one of their normal items dyed blue (sodas, desserts, burger buns, condiments so on) some places will sell wings fried in blue panko bread crumbs and call them them ‘nightwings’ ofc these are ALL off the menu you can’t see these items and if you try to order them out of the city you get weird looks.
Superman goes on tv and says Nightwing is one of his favorite hero’s and bludhaven riots. wtf nightwing is your favorite hero you fuckin poser
1) nightwing isn’t a hero he’s a criminal so back off
2) he’s ours you and your frou frou fancy city that hasn’t been nuked by a sentient pile of radiation can fuck RIGHT off
Naturally the only person in bludhaven who is unaware of this is Dick Grayson bc tbh this man is too busy to give a fuck about what his city thinks of him. They trust him to get shit done. Good that’s all he needs okay he has 22 reports he needs to log he’s busy.
Tim Drake professional nightwing fanboy however is fucking furious about this because.
A) dick was a GOTHAM hero FIRST and bludhaven can suck it
B) fuck you nightwing isn’t just a a hero he’s THE HERO and the BEST hero and don’t be rude bc you have a complex
C) all of the cool nightwing merch only ships around bludhaven so has to get it ordered there and it’s just a hassle and he’d pay double he swears just let him get it delivered to where he is please Everytime he stops by bludhaven he leaves with 10 new pieces of nightwing merch and bc he has so much. Damian doesn’t think he notices when some of his doubles mysteriously go missing. He does.
D) since they are anti hero they are firmly unhelpful whenever he or Steph show up bc a case has lead them to the city
The one plus side was watching Jason Todd having a mental breakdown bc apparently in bludhaven redhood counts as a hero and is therefore hated.
“Yous worked with the bat yous a hero thems the rules”
“I KILL PEOPLE”
“Yeah so do cops and people always call them heroes”
“Okay but I kill people to protect the general public I put down scum”
“Cops say they do that too”
“I- okay you know what I’m a hero fine okay. Why isn’t nightwing a hero”
“Vigilante justice is a crime”
“I’m documentably worse than a vigilante”
“But you have worked with the bat”
“For money yeah”
“See you even get paid, face it you’re a hero which means you suck”
“You realize Nightwing has worked with the bat right like way more than I have”
“Listen that ain’t his fault okay, the bats incompetent and so are the rest to you idiots. He’s a nice guy and a good neighbor don’t mean he’s a hero”
“I- what the fuck is in this cities water”
“I don’t fuckin know but it’s prolly better than whatever gothams got in its harbor”
“I- yeah you’re probably right”
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seewetter · 1 day ago
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"ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!!"
The whole framing is wrong.
Why are people talking about "stupid" Americans? Because they're discussing why America so often is plagued by decisions with foresee-ably terrible outcomes.
But America is an oligarchy, it's participatory elements are minimal and often pure aesthetic. How much control do people exercise in a first-past-the-post electoral system with massive corporate bribes (Superpacs) that also influence media reporting, which is also a surveillance and police state?
Rhetorical question, right? So if Americans barely exercise control, what are we criticizing? Are we criticizing the >70% of Americans who don't even own a firearm? Or the majority of Texans that vote Democrat...even though it's a "red state" due to how their laws work? Are we criticizing the American majority that shows sympathies for Bernie Sanders, support abortion, queer rights, trans rights, realizes climate change is real and is the reason why "woke" (diverse) Hollywood movies make such money?
Why criticize Americans for watching Marvel, when Marvel viewership numbers have collapsed over the years?
Why criticize Americans for not knowing who James Baldwin is, when James Baldwin is in many ways not someone who affected the course of history or someone who Americans -- who I am CERTAIN use the public library all the time -- would necessarily stumble upon when reading in a public library. What, did you learn about Baldwin from watching Nosferatu? Or maybe a Cronenberg movie? Would Americans borrowing books on history naturally stumble on Baldwin? If they borrow the collected speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. or the Autobiography of Malcolm X, will these reference James Baldwin?
People know who James Baldwin is because he is an excellent writer and certain white Jewish intellectuals in the 1970s stumbled across his prose and made him famous and later Baldwin would burn those ties and became famous within progressive activist circles. This does not mean that a visit to a public library will make people aware that he exists. You have to know what to look for.
Also progressives often know who he is but not what he said. How many progressives do you know who don't care that James Baldwin talked about the "myth of race", that James Baldwin considered post-racial thinking to be more progressive than identity politics? Most progessives who know Baldwin quote him second-hand or third-hand, why are you not mad at them? Why some nebulous idea of "Americans"?
"because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!!"
In 19th century anarchist literature, a distinction was often made between the freedom to do something and the capacity to do something. The freedom and legal right to buy a yacht is nice...but if you can't actually buy a yacht, you have the freedom but not the capacity.
Like how many holidays and free weekends does the average American have? There has to be a better way to educate people with a busy schedule than shaming them about their ignorance, especially when ignorance is tied to class. DON'T misread me. I'm not saying working class people are ignorant. I'm saying some people can afford a very nice education for their kids and other people can't. "Oh, it's on the internet, which is free" is not how people spontaneously become enlightened.
Like: just have a chat with a Joe Rogan listener. They're mostly Trump supporters, but all of the ones I've met are achingly sincere. They really do have the wool over their eyes, they're usually not malicious. And they're really really ...like they don't have a good research strategy. They don't even know what that looks like. They think they're "studying" when they listen to podcasts. That's a thing they think. Do you think free access to libraries and internet has given these people all they need to free themselves from their shackles and the risks they pose to others? Do you think people just spontaneously sit down and every week for a year devote all available time to researching academic literature on a hot button topic? Many of these people don't even know where to find appropriate academic literature ("It's too expensive" thought one Rogan listener I know) and many of them associate these resources with academic agendas.
Look up "hermeneutics of suspicion". It's when people approach a topic looking for ways to confirm their suspicious feelings. That's what's going on there. People read some academic article and they suspect it's all BS. If they don't understand a concept, they assume someone is trying to manipulate them. And why shouldn't they, the media is blatantly dishonest, academia has a number of crises and universities have certain conflicts of interest. Why shouldn't these people spontaneously start from such a place? It's not your job to shame them, because if you do, they assume you are doing so from a place of ideological fanaticism, rather than from a place of informed frustration. You know the meme where trans people talking about gender is represented as Plato and Aristotle in the agora, having a debate, while trans people talking to cis people about gender is represented as a mom helping her toddler assemble building blocks? That analogy applies to any topic. There are a lot of adult "toddlers" out there and if you call them toddlers to their face, they will rightfully be ashamed and upset. They put a lot of work into forming their beliefs, they just don't have a good starting point. Or decent tools. Or non-judgmental 24/7 help. And they exist in a quagmire of bullshit claims. And they relate to misinformation in a vibes-based way if the information otherwise seems to be applicable and more useful in their life.
If someone lives in a media environment that reassures them that they are currently studying the (alternate) facts and informing themselves, or that they are currently getting the gist of the facts from experts, then people won't necessarily use the library or grasp its value. Also you have to use the library correctly.
"and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like."
I find teens accusing every intellectual impulse of being classist and ableist unbearable too, but not so long ago, this website popularized the idea that the only valid criticism of feminism was an anti-racist, anti-classist, anti-ableist, anti-transmisogynist, anti-perisexist etc. criticism.
In other words "I refuse to course correct unless you show me how my current course hurts a minority."
So yes, people will defend American complacency using ridiculous "anti-classist" rhetoric. Because it's the only defense they've seen modelled and maybe even the only defense that's socially permitted in their circle of friends.
Defenses of war crimes are horrible. Period. If people think Americans don't have a partial responsibility just because they were ignorant, they're wrong. But partial responsibility isn't full blame and more importantly: are real Tumblr users actually saying that exact thing in good faith? Are people out there defending ignorant Americans who never talked to a soldiers about what a bomb is and does or who never watched a bomb dropped in a movie?
I agree Disney adults can be irritating, but I think that most Americans aren't Disney adults and those that are... are from all walks of life and varying degrees of ignorance. Are Disney adults, Marvel fans, the ones who don't grasp that bombs kill people? Or is this a weird mishmash of stereotypes that don't capture why America, as a state institution, is such a horror? To me it's also sad that Americans get overly emotional about Mickey Mouse and that Marvel movies got so successful, but I think this is not really connected to America. Marvel movies and Disney parks aren't uniquely American, America is just -- at gunpoint -- the largest economy in the world, so a lot of junk that people worldwide consume comes from there. Disney Parks in Japan or France do quite well and also involve Disney Adults, we just don't hear about them so much and the money is ultimately made by America, a country with military bases in almost every other country. Is this the fault of Disney Adults in Orlando, Florida? I don't think so.
Also makeup is an "unfeminist choice", but feminists should, in fact, fight for people's freedom to make unfeminist choices. Kate Harding had an entire essay on that.
As for the reply:
When trying to convince someone that their reasons for believing something are faulty, always make sure to point out what they may have missed and try not to miss anything yourself.
Let me provide a few examples:
"Did you know that to get to a library here, you have to travel?"
The person you are responding to wrote (and you acknowledged it with "I'm glad you found a way to access our libraries") that to read the contents of a library, all that is needed is digital access.
So then "did you know you have to travel" doesn't make sense as the next sentence. It's on its face unconvincing.
"Since you know so much about us, you must know that our public transportation system is all but non-functional, and a lot of people can't even afford bus fare, let alone their own vehicle, and most of our cities are not walkable. The closest library in the town where my half-siblings grew up was a 30-minute drive away. But there are digital libraries, of course!"
Of course! And their existence invalidates all the detailed descriptions you just provided for the inaccessibility of American libraries. Americans that don't use the libraries don't use them because (A) they forget these exist (B) they don't want to use them (sometimes out of shame, sometimes out of misguided conviction).
"Did you know that not every single one of us stupid Americans has access to a home computer and internet?"
The OP you are responding to was concrete about being frustrated by kids (18 19 20 year olds) on Tumblr. If they're on Tumblr, they must have internet and must be able to access an internet library.
"Did you know that exceptionally strict conservative parents monitor their childrens' internet usage and restrict what they can see?"
Yes and.
Yes, and this influences blindspots that some Americans have.
See, on its own "do you know some parents monitor internet" creates a strawman example, where the people OP was attacking (people who freely use tumblr.com, "the queerest site on the internet") are somehow being treated as if they have parents that monitor their internet usage and censor all content that might burst their conservative bubble. I hope we can agree that these are two different groups of Americans.
"Did you know that school library media centers (computer labs) restrict access to a lot of websites and information that do not pertain to curriculum? Of course you did."
But if the people are goofing around on Tumblr calling others "classist" for expecting them to know stuff, how is the computer lab not restricting their Tumblr access? How does Tumblr pertain to their curriculum?
It's possible that this is a censorship oversight or something, but again, the real counterargument against OPs nonsense isn't "Americans aren't free to know new information" and rather "Americans often lack the capacity to even know what they're looking for". I don't think OP name-dropping James Baldwin and stocks will have given people any real idea of what they need to look for, especially if they need comprehensive education on everything from ecology to statecraft and civics to economics, to history, geography, moral philosophy, epistemology, foreign policy, marginalized perspectives and activism, statistics, organizing, protesting safety, IT security and data protection, narrative structure, narrative experimentation, artistic craft, avant-garde sensibilities (I'm being entirely unironic about that.), reading comprehension, project management, culinary skill, survival skills, networking skills, the list goes on.
This also isn't merely an "American" problem. I know plenty of Australians, Kiwis, Canadians, Europeans who use gmail accounts, don't understand imperialism and need a crash course in epistemology every time a hot button issue comes into discussion because they just keep shouting at each other without treating the other party as a human being with their own heuristic for gathering, evaluating and processing information.
"Did you know that lobbyists are trying very hard to defund and even actively shut down our libraries. Partially because they don't want us to have access to free recources, but also because ignorance works in their favor? Did you know book bans are being placed in libraries across the country, based on what conservatives deem inappropriate?"
Most of those points seem a little off topic (lobbyists trying to defund libraries may affect future ignorance but doesn't account for ignorance today), but I grant that the book bans really might have some kind of impact that prevents people from having heard of James Baldwin. It's a decent reply to the OP, who seems to think all libraries serve up the same information to all Americans. But you should be fair enough to recognize that it still is a bit weird when the people who show up ignorant are ...Tumblr users smart enough to be making accusations of classism.
"Since you know all about how we are educated, you must know that American curriculum is designed to discourage curiosity and create the illusion that we are far and above all other nations and that everything we are taught in our classes about others is simply all there is to know."
What I've heard is that many public school teachers in America are extremely dedicated well-meaning people. I've met a few American teachers and their German counterparts, for example, earn about 20 times what they earn. So American teachers often really are in it to help kids learn.
I'm not sure that the American curriculum really exists to "discourage curiosity", that sounds a bit weird to me. I do know the Texas board of education tried to ban critical thinking and I know American schools have some weird national anthem singing and I bet they teach American exceptionalism. But I would say perhaps the only reason any of that sticks is because Americans often can't afford to visit other countries.
I have not heard that Americans learn that school teaches them all there is to know, but when I think of ignorant Americans, they often give me the opposite impression: that of a "do your own research type" who doesn't think "I know everything from school" and instead just never bothered to buy a book about Atmospheric Phenomena (or grab a illegal free .pdf copy) and therefore thinks some glittering orb in the sky is a alien spacecraft. Genuinely, ignorant people are often really nice people who try to learn about the world, have a real desire to learn new things... and then they watch Graham Hancock or some other well-designed nonsense and they mis-educate themselves and get very defensive if anyone tries to correct them, however gently, in part because they lack even the basic skills to know whether the correction is plausible.
"So, with all of this information that you clearly already had at your disposal, do you genuinely believe these children are cognizant or at all concerned with how much they know about other countries and cultures?"
I think the better question to ask is "Do you really think only Americans would fail at "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?""
Because let's face it, I've seen European versions of that premise, where they go out into the street, ask a basic question ("What's the equator?") and get embarrassing answers ("A line that floats in the sky above the center of our planet").
OPs gripe with "Americans" is that they know other countries exist but just don't care. But hey, are Europeans that much better? In Europe, people know European countries...because countries are small and these are almost like American "states" in a way, especially since the EU is in many ways a country in all but name (and lack of military). How many Europeans know how many African countries there are, what their names are, what their capitals are, what their history is, what colonial powers kept which country under control when and for how long? How many Europeans know anything about Laos or Cambodia? Do Europeans even know which continent Cambodia is on?
And I've talked to Japanese people and found incredible ignorance. And do we imagine that the education system in, say, Burkina Faso or Brazil produces much more worldly individuals?
If you want to criticize specifically American ignorance you need to things: you need lots of real-life examples AND you need to prove these examples are unique to America.
Like India recently managed to get a lot of kids into school long enough to learn how to read, which is awesome! But if someone from India (like OP) is attacking American ignorance, OP is likely doing so from a certain degree of "wealth in the family". That's not a criticism, just a (hopefully humbling) observation. Countries around the world can blame their widespread ignorance on colonialism...and then get upset at ignorant colonizers. But maybe no place on Earth really produces a completely sufficiently informed citizenship.
"Adults who are groomed through adulthood to believe that "bombing foreign countries" and selling their body to their government is one of the only accessible options to receive further education."
Isn't the American military facing historically low recruitment numbers and worried about morphing into a "warrior caste" (their words, not mine) because their recruits mostly come from old military families where everyone's in the military? Not to say the poor person going to the army doesn't exist, but aren't most Americans pretty anti-military, especially these days?
"You believe these people are simply bumbling idiots too self-absorbed to want to learn about the history and inner workings of every other nation around them?"
Why emphasize that public schools brainwash the kids with American exceptionalism and then turn around to argue that the people leaving public school AREN'T self-absorbed about their own country? That comes off as overly defensive, not as a reflective response. I doubt OP found that argument very convincing.
"Like, you understand that not knowing what you don't know is a thing, yes?"
But OP must at least be partially correct. Like -- I would blame maybe feelings of overwhelm at all the information, and maybe mistrust of information sources -- but it does often come across, at least at first glance, that a lot of Americans can't be bothered to understand basic geography. Like they know countries outside of America exist, but aren't bothered enough to find out what they are.
Again, this is probably not a purely American problem, but one does sometimes get the impression that many Americans approach conversations without making sure they have a bit of an overview of the topic. They often just seem to research the talking points of their side in a debate (i.e. they know the history of colonialism better than they know which countries have Spanish as an official language, so it's easy to make them look stupid or they have to ask what tariffs are but they already think tariffs are great since Trump is doing them...like why aren't they reading the "tariffs" page on Wikipedia or whatever, to get at least a general idea? What's going on?)
"I would go as far as to point out the hypocrisy of all of your shaming when the beginning of your post clearly states that you were ignorant of a resource available to you before it was pointed out to you."
Now that's a sick burn. But don't get cozy.
"Your time spent belligerently accusing a whole society of people which you deem unintelligent of being willfully uneducated and unwilling to reach beyond their own privilege would be better spent sharing resources you've found and encouraging others to broaden their own horizons. But hatred of the American public as a whole is a lot easier when you can paint us all as intentionally dumb and heels-dug-in fascists."
It is hard for people to grasp how little control Americans have over their society. When America always advertises itself as "land of the free" it seems like they freely choose to be giant assholes on the world stage.
And it's only with a lot of reflection and/or research that people realize just how much the game is rigged. But still...the people who just flat out support tariffs, for example, without wasting a single braincell on experimenting on how they can find information on it that doesn't come from a possibly biased pro-Trump source...like it feels like willful ignorance. Part of me can't believe it isn't.
ever since i got access to american library cards thanks to tumblr user anneemay (pbuh) 2 weeks ago ive lost even the 3% sympathy i had for americans crying ofc we’re stupid and illiterate our schools suck!!! because you assholes have had FREE ACCESS to THOUSANDS of books and audiobooks and classic films this ENTIRE TIME you’ve been blaming your schools for your elected ignorance!!! from my home in India I’ve listened to eight audiobooks and watched half of cronenberg’s oevre and I’m watching nosferatu (1922) today and I can’t even go to a library in person and you people have had these things your entire life yet you come on tumblr at 18 19 20 and say you don’t know who james baldwin is and if you expect me to you’re classist and 18 year old Americans are too stupid to know bombing foreign countries kills people so it’s okay if they choose to do that rather than work at McDonald’s and of course I have no idea what stocks are or what colonialism is and MCU is the height of cinema and it’s feminist to wear makeup like. my god. you people are going to go through the rest of your life being incoherently stupid and it’s not because you’re poor and it’s not because your schools suck but its because you’re so ensconced in your American privilege that you will never be forced to confront the realities of life and you can go on living your Disney adult fantasies because you’ve destroyed your innate human curiosity and potential at the altar of hyper consumption.
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13leaguestories · 3 days ago
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February 2025 Forecast
As always when February hits I must announce it as the second best month of the year. Simply because all of us with birthdays in this month are the best, the only leap month as well. Shout out to all my February babies, this burden of awesomeness we carry is really not good for our shoulders and backs lmfao.
Alright, moving on. January, what can I say about January. Oh, I know. How about it sucked because I was sick. I literally abhor getting sick the first month of the new year, it does not bode well and I'm not one who usually gets sick. Like once a year really so that better had been my once a year. Fucking throat felt like - ... I have been told not to finish that sentence.
Superstition
Nothing new to report. I wasn't able to finish what I wanted because I was sick and I made a mental promise that after that week (then I got sick), focus would be moved to Nour. That's what I did.
Throne of Ashes
Like I said, focus was given to Nour. I finished up some Chapter Six shenanigans then started on Chapter Seven which shouldn't take a month to complete. So this month should see the completion of 7 and a nice little start on 8.
Sea of Stars
Nothing new to report. But I won't lie, people keep talking about it and it's making me want to give some of my attention to it so if you see some random update about it then you know why.
Others
Nothing new on RoA. I have two public requests to write that I need to keep in my mind (I haven't forgotten you guys just need to get int he headspace, especially for the NSFW one).
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midnightsun-if · 3 days ago
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In the new update will we still get some family content too?
You absolutely will! On the plane ride specifically, the very first series of scenes in the upcoming update, you'll get a variety of chances to talk about your family (or to them directly). One of said options will be a few emails that you can decide to check that I had a lot of fun writing; especially as it'll give you a full overlook at the siblings' personalities compared to each other.
Christian's email, for instance, is titled: WHY YOU SUCK -- A Comprehensive Analysis (NOT a Pun)
Dear Most Annoying Sibling,
Congratulations! You have once again outdone yourself in the grand tradition of being a nuisance. I am writing to formally lodge a complaint; Cienna has already taken the official 'intimidating older sibling' role, and I feel my efforts in this regard are unappreciated. Especially since I do not have a glare that could make Antarctica seem like a nice location for a summer vacation.
First of all, why did you let Blake "borrow" my leather jacket? You're aware that the half-incubus you call a best friend has absolutely no control when it comes to his appetite, right? He returned it smelling like garlic. GARLIC! Do you know how hard it is to get that smell out? DO YOU? It lingers. It haunts me. I swear I can still smell it on my pillow, in my socks, and in my dreams. I have tried everything. Febreze? Laughable. Vinegar? Now it just smells like pickled garlic. Sunshine? Now I have a warmed garlic stench following me everywhere. I'm like a walking breadstick and not in a fun way.
People are staring. Not in the way I typically enjoy either. A guy at the café this morning sniffed the air, like some sort of bloodhound, and whispered, "Do you smell that?" like I was some kind of culinary cryptid.
Secondly, and this is the most egregious offense, I know you stole the last blood bag from the private stash in the lounge. That was mine. I licked it. It had my name on it. I hope it tasted like guilt.
Please fix your life choices immediately.
With begrudging affection,
Christian
P.S. I hope you have a nice time at Aurelian Academy and that everyone treats you well. Even if you are a bloody thief.
Compared to Cienna's email simply titled: Checking In.
Or Persephone's titled: A Little Joy to Share.
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barbwritesstuff · 2 days ago
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Hello there, I'm so excited for Of Monsters and Mainframes!
I used to write novels and short stories but have been almost entirely focusing on games for about the last 10 years... and now I'm kind of curious about trying out linear writing again. Do you have any recommendations for novel-writing craft books or other resources? And what's it been like swapping between the two ways of writing?
And I'm really happy to see how Thicker Than is going!
I have been on the hunt for a good nuts-and-bolts creative writing craft book. I pulled apart a bookshelf at a poor lady's bookshop last weekend trying to find one. The problem I'm having is almost all creative writing books are aimed towards people who are just getting started, and while that's amazing, it's not very helpful for me.
I started writing when I was 9ish and have had a long and messy journey as a writer since. I was that teenager writing self insert fantasies. I wrote escapist fanfic while struggling through university. I entered short fiction contests and never quite placed. I sold a short film script I wrote for one dollar. I tried to write popular fiction when everyone said self publishing was the way to go and discovered that was 100% not for me.
In 2018 I wrote my debut novel which I've since pulled and in 2020 I started writing my debut interactive novel which was my first real success.
My writing career isn't one of those 'young creative gets catapulted to success' stories. I sucked for a very long time. I floundered. I fucked up.
But I'm a persistent wee bitch, and I think that counts for a lot in this industry. You just gotta keep trying, keep getting better, and keep picking yourself up.
Now I'm in a place where I've had some (I think) successful stories. Blood Moon. Thicker Than. Of Monsters and Mainframes. My short fiction. I'm hoping to keep that momentum going, to keep that ball rolling, and I'm looking for craft books for people like me and I'm not finding very much.
So, I think what I need to do is make friends with writers who are in similar situations I am.
So... hi.
Wanna be friends?
I know I talk about cannibalism a lot, but I'm actually a really normal and nice person.
Oh, and, to answer your question: 'What's it been like swapping between the two ways of writing?' It's weird. There's the nuts and bolts stuff. I write my interactive stories in second person present tense and the current story I'm writing is in first person past tense. But there's also a different energy to a linear story I can't really explain. Neither better nor worse, just different. That said, my interactive fiction has 100% informed my linear style and my linear style has also informed my interactive style. They bleed together a lot more than you might expect.
I hope that helps.
💙
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masked-speaker88 · 3 days ago
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Shinji Hirako Head-cannons
These are some of my personal head-cannons for Shinji. This includes romantic and otherwise. Minors do not interact!
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Shinji is a like a father figure to Momo. He is protective and even casually teasing to her. He knows how Aizen hurt her and wants to help her heal. He wants her to become the version of herself.
Shinji sees Hiyori as a little sister who drives him crazy, but cares about her at the end of the day. These two have that "not siblings, but should be" dynamic.
Shinji is self conscious about his appearance which is why he spends so much time on his hair and clothes. This can be noted within some of his fights with Hiyori. I personally think a lot of this stems from his inability to gain weight.
Shinji has his hair cut in a bob with the angled bangs because he feels like it accents his face and draws a little of attention to him that he may not receive otherwise.
Shinji knows he's weird as hell, and relishes in it. He knows he's unique and can turn heads without even trying when it comes to his personality.
Shinji has a love for jazz and dressing up. He gives off old man vibes without being old. Weird, old man vibes and yet he's still such a pretty boy~
Shinji is really good at reading people and their intentions. There is little to nothing that anyone can hide from him long.
He knows how to take charge and can give plenty of reasons as to why he's the leader.
Romantic and Spicy Head-Cannons Below
Hitting on his inability to gain weight, I personally think this man is in love with thick girls. Something about their nice thick thighs, big round asses, hip dips, and sexy curves get him hot and bothered. Its like he was prewired to lose his mind.
He loves make-out sessions that start out slow and sensual and lead into getting his tongue ring sucked on and gently bit. Anyone does this and you'll be begging for him to lose control.
Shinji loves spooning his partner. He loves the way their ass presses into his crotch nice and firm. He loves it even more when he can teasingly roll his hips up into them. He will pull their hair off their neck, sucking and kissing everywhere he can reach. Be prepared to look like a battlefield after one of his special moods.
Shinji has no problem using his tongue ring on all the pretty and sensitive parts that his partner has. Tits, thighs.. clit.. He'll make you wither under him and laugh about it.
Shinji is a switch. He loves to take control, but he also loves it when you ride him taking what you want from him. Riding him until you come around his nice slim long cock. He loves that the second you come, he gets to start thrusting up and over stimulating you until he fills you to the brim.
Shinji loves when his partner takes their hand pushing up the back of his neck slowly, before grabbing a fistful of his hair as he eats you out. He will loudly moan against your entrance, his hips that were already grinding into the mattress becoming more fervent.
Shinji will start an argument just to get you riled up enough to grab his tie and jerk him to your height. BUT be warned the second you do this, you're in for a long night.
Something else he LOVES is to be able to take a shower with his partner. It doesn't always have to end in sex for him. He just loves holding you in the shower with the hot water spraying around you. He contently hugs you tightly to his bare body, hands rubbing circles into your skin, and his face buried in your neck thanking you for loving him.
This man LOVES to slowly and sensually make love to you. He will pump his cock in you nice and slowly, mouth kissing anywhere he can get. He knows it drives you crazy, like an itch that's getting rubbed instead of scratched. But do be ensured that he will be making you come around him, your pleasure bursting after being so slowly built up. You will be so over stimulated and so content after this that you can't help but love it too.
Shinji will also bend you over the kitchen table and give you everything you've begged for by being such a brat. He knows when you get that bratty and mouthy that you're needy but too worked up to ask for it. "You've been bitchy all day, apparently you really need my fucking cock to rail it out of you!" He will proceed to grab your hair, and rail you over and over on the kitchen table with your tits pressed into the wood. He will go until neither of you can go anymore, and you've left tears and drool all over the surface.
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sunarots · 11 hours ago
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taste ━━━ suna rintarou & miya osamu
20. milking a dead cow ♡
cw. x1 snide comment about y/n’s appearance by rubi
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For the third time tonight, Rubi makes a snide comment about dating Suna in an attempt to get you to bitch with her. She waits to see if you respond, quickly laughing and lightly hitting his arm. Through her laughs, she says, "I'm kidding!" and taking a sip of her drink. She excuses herself and rises from her seat with her phone gripped tightly in her hands.
You lean back in your seat and let out a heavy sigh, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm just going to say it, boys. This night sucks ass harder than Atsumu." You look between them, catching both agreeing.
"Not that I don't like being in the company of my 'crazy ex', but I'm so close to stabbing myself in the eye with my fork," Suna announces, picking up his fork for emphasis. He taps the bottom against the table and looks towards the toilets to make sure she's gone. "I don't know what her deal is tonight."
You don't mean for your amusement to show on your face, grabbing your glass to try and hide it before Suna sees you.
Osamu clears his throat. "She's uh... She's okay."
"She said we should do this again, 'Samu. If I do this again, I'll kill myself," Suna snaps, dropping his fork and leaning back in his chair.
"You're not exactly fun for me to be around, either." You roll your eyes at him, finishing off your drink. "But I do agree. I may have to do it, Osamu. Tell Kiyoko I miss her. And don't let Kuroo take over my position as manager."
Osamu laughs, resting a hand on your thigh. "Look, we're almost done. No dessert, just the bill. It's Thursday, so there's definitely a party we can crash. Otherwise, we drink at mine until we're paralytic."
"As nice as a party sounds, I just want my bed. I do want more booze, though. Can you flag down the waiter for another round? Maybe shots?"
Nodding his head, Osamu waves at one of the waiters and apologises. "Can we get another round and six shots of Sambuca?"
Simultaneously, you and Suna burst out, "Not Sambuca."
Osamu frowns, apologising once again and correcting himself to vodka. When the waiter leaves, he turns to face you. "Why not Sambuca?"
"Have you not seen y/n after Sambuca? She once almost killed Atsumu for standing on her foot." Suna has to stop himself from laughing at the memory.
"That was you!?" Osamu exclaims, laughing hysterically. "I hear about it but no one knew who it was! I thought it was Sakusa, honestly."
"You know, a lot of people said that." You nod slowly in thought before shrugging your shoulders. "Anyway, no Sambuca if there's a chance of someone getting on my nerves."
"So, never?" Osamu flashes you a smile before laughing, settling back in his seat. "So, Rin, how do you feel about nationals?"
"Pretty good. I'm excited to see how far we go. I need to start going to the gym again, though. Rubi likes to come with me but I hate going with her. How do you feel?"
Osamu shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah, I have high hopes. At least I know I'll be starting since I'm sleeping with the manager."
You return his smile and face him. "If you want to start, you don't need to sleep with me. You need to keep practicing." You shrug your shoulders, smiling as the waiter sets a tray of shots down on the table. "Oh, perfect." You waist no time in grabbing them and taking your first shot, setting it back on the tray. You take the second before either of them have their first, looking between them in disappointment. "Have you never taken shots before?"
"You inhaled those," Osamu scolds, taking his first one. "Give us a chance."
"If you take much longer I'll have them as well." You finish whats left in your glass as the waiter approaches again, taking the tray of empty glasses and shot glasses away.
Rubi appears from behind him, slipping back into her seat. "Ugh, those toilets are disgusting. Why did he have shot glasses?" She flattens her hair against her chest as she watches him walk away.
"They were from another table, he was just collecting our empties." Suna taps on the side of Rubi's fresh cocktail to bring it to her attention. "Should we get the bill and finish these drinks?"
Rubi pouts, looking over her shoulder. "I wanted a dessert menu. I want to try that cheesecake you liked."
"If I eat anything else, I may be sick," you announce, trying to stop her from getting the menus — you will not get stuck here for another hour. The food is good, but it takes too long for your liking when you're stuck on a date like this.
"You don't have to get anything. Besides, probably for the best. Your uniform isn't very flattering." Rubi spots a waiter, frantically waving her hand at him to bring him over,
Your jaw clenches at her statement, turning to Osamu with a fake smile plastered across your face. Without saying anything, you sigh and lean back in your seat.
Before Rubi can talk to the waiter, Suna rests a hand on her shoulder and blocked her from his view. "Can we get the bill? I'm feeling a bit queasy. Not because of the food. Just... Diarrhoea."
A heavy silence falls over the table, Rubi turning her nose up in disgust. She settles into her seat and picks up her phone with the same grimace in place.
You have to press your lips together tight to keep your laughter inside, your hand flying out to grip Osamu's thigh. He returns the action, his fingers digging into you like you're his lifeline. The waiter backs away slowly, watching Suna carefully as though he may shit himself on the spot.
Rubi turns to face Suna again, dropping her phone down on the table. "Can you not act normal for one fucking date? God, trying to do anything with you is like... It's like milking a dead cow!"
"This isn't exactly what I wanted for date night. This reservation was made for two: us. No offence, Osamu. Kind of offence, y/n." He holds up a hand towards you, not catching your dismissive shrug. "Hanging out with an ex never sounds fun. For anyone."
"Don't think of her as a ex, think of her as your best friend's girlfriend," Rubi justifies. "Look, Rin, if you don't start reciprocating my needs, we're over."
Osamu leans in towards you as they continue bickering and whispers, "It's so joever."
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# fun fact !
after y/n fought him, atsumu was telling everyone it was some random drunk guy on the street and he did more damage to him
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masterlist. previous | next
summary. when your ex starts dating your least favourite person on campus, your ex-best friend from high school, you can’t help but feel a little betrayed. you quickly realise a way to get back at him: his best friend.
taglist (open!). @v3nusplanetofluv @mdmraz @thoughtswithbbg @fireinyoureye @wakashudou @jisookdays @tespho @frootloopscos @gigiiiiislife @walllflowerrrsss @tangerinelovr @datonegaybestfriend @sturnprincess @jpegarchives @justanotherweeb666 @1yeah1 @rrosiitas @yuu-via @zazathezaer @softpia @animenaces-world @loveelylani @punkhazardlaw @to-dino @nanamis-right-tiddie @aboutkiyoomi @arusio @aloore @dailyakira @alexithemiyatic @chemiru @p1nktulip @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @taefanclub @h3xi2g0n3 @rikidaze @mncxbe @luvelyjjk
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moirindeclermont · 2 days ago
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Bridgerton folks, ready for part 2?
Part 1 here!
Thank you all for the likes and the prompts (one is particularly juicy and will get explored next week).
Have a nice weekend everyone 💓
Now... Let's get to part 2.
Yes, part 3 is coming on Monday. I know I'm evil 😈
---
Pen watches Colin's face getting closer to her core. She calls him once, because she is not sure what is about to happen.
"I want to taste you, darling. I want to make you feel good."
She is surprised "is this something people do?" And she wants to be embarrassed at her own inexperience, but Colin doesn't allow her to feel awkward.
He just nods, a devastating handsome smile on his face as he flicks his tongue on her flesh, before kissing her.
Colin is kissing her on the secret spot she found sometimes last year as she was exploring herself (rules said she shouldn't, but why shouldn't she?) and she moan when she feels him suck it.
"You taste amazing, darling."
That 'darling' might kill her, but she is already addicted to it.
Colin has one hand on her stomach, to keep her still, and she has to touch him, so she moves her hand to cover his as the pleasure becomes more intense.
When she did explore herself she didnt make this sound that Colin is somehow coaxing out of her.
His other hand is now teasing her opening and soon the combination of his fingers inside her as his mouth devours her is proving to be so good that the only thing that Pen can do is to let herself feel everything.
Her release hits her as a hurricane and leave her with her legs trembling and a smug Colin who is cleaning himself from her arousal with his fingers.
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Colin can't help but laugh a bit when Pen pulls him to kiss her again. She doesn't seems fazed by her taste, and when they finally oarted, he can see a small tear on her face.
"What's wrong, darling?"
She looks at him.
"Why are you calling me that?"
Oh. That.
Maybe that conversation should happen when they are both dressed and within boundaries dictated by propriety.
But then again, maybe some conversations are bound to happen when you're already naked - so you can strip Dow even more - he realizes he doesn't want to make love to Pen without making her know how much he loves her.
"I've realized something this night Pen, darling. I realized how much of a fool I was, looking around as something was missing, when it reality it was someone ho was missing. You."
Colin feels her gasp and her eyes gets teary again. He dries her tears before speaking again.
"And I know you ask me as a friend, but I can't have you without making you know how much you mean to me. I call you Darling, Pen, because I want you to be."
Somehow, Pen manages to cut him off.
"Are you asking to marry me before you deflower me?"
Colin thinks about what he just said.
"I suppose I am. Would you be my wife, Darling?"
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Penelope have imagined how she would be asked to be marry to Colin Bridgerton at least hundreds of time.
She has a good imagination, and some were way more impossible than others, still reality is providing a far more impossible option. She had never imagined him asking and confessing his love like this.
Somehow, her love grows stronger because of it.
"I've been waiting for you to ask me this since I met you. Of course, Colin. I am yours. Always as been."
Now is Colin the one teary, and she could not be happier to be engaged (engaged!!) to such a sweet man.
She dries his tears, a mirror of the same he did for her, and she marvels at how easy it is to share this vulnerability with him.
They giggle, happiness overcomig lust for a couple of seconds, before their mouths are on each other again and now they both share this need to connect even deeper.
They both know it is time.
Colin caresses her cheek tenderly, and she is so happy this is about to happen with him.
"Don't make me wait, Colin. I want to be yours. I know you won't hurt me on purpose."
He nods and takes a couple of deep breaths.
"I wouldn't dream of it, Mrs.Bridgerton."
Tbc
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month ago
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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separatist-apologist · 5 months ago
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I cut your username out of this post because I don't want to unintentionally direct anyone over to you. I do believe you're sorry, and I also believe you didn't intend for any of the things that transpired TO transpire.
I want to answer this, though, because I genuinely believe a LOT of the people who logged out last night to flame the fic are on this website watching, and I want to speak directly to them. I'll never know who they are, and thats unfortunate because to me, it looks like a lot of other people are content to let you be thrown under the bus while taking no accountability for their actions.
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I want to share this comment FROM the fic writer who responded to me when I left a comment this morning both condemning the actions of fellow gwynriel/eluciens and encouraging her to continue writing. Look at what she said. She had a mini-breakdown because a small but obnoxiously loud group of people took it upon themselves to not just leave unkind, unnecessary feedback, but to start whole threads about it, take it to other platforms, and otherwise talk shit because a story had *checks notes* conflict.
The fic is tagged: slowburn, eventual romance, AND the elain x azriel relationship. She did her due diligence as far as what she owes people- ya'll don't read tags and engage with the story like it was written specifically FOR you. First of all- it was written for ME. But lets pretend it wasn't, because I think the only reason people are backtracking is because I took offense. You shouldn't do this to ANYONE.
EVER!!!!
And I see a lot of ya'll writing your first fics and your comments are always something to the flavor of "be kind, I'm new/nervous/worried" and then you turn around and do this stuff to other writers like you're OWED your very specific vision of what these characters are, should be, or should act like.
This happens TOO OFTEN in this ship, and frankly, I'm tired of it. You guys will turn on people writing in your own ship if it doesn't adhere to YOUR specific, NARROW vision of "canon" (FANON) and wholesale bully people out, and whats left? A bunch of chronically online assholes whining that no one wants to draw art, write fic, or participate because they're afraid of you. Ya'll act like this is some moral crusade and if you ship the "right" thing, you can't possibly be a bully.
But its just bullying, dressed up as passion for the ship.
This isn't directed at you, OP- I'm talking to the other people who are letting you fall on this sword, who are absolutely watching this, who participated, and will likely to continue acting like this. But they'll be the first to scream and sob when another anonymous blog pops up to talk the same shit, and there will no irony or awareness around any of it. This is the culture some of you have created. Shocking you get it back in ten fold.
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crimeronan · 3 months ago
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Something i really appreciate is how open you are about Keeping The Bitchyness At Bay because its helped me realize people who are dicks choose to be dicks and its not worth my time or energy to let myself deal with or stick around people who choose to be horrible
indeed! people who treat you badly choose to treat you badly. there's no sense in waiting around for them to feel bad about it if they're not committed to growth. both "this is just how i am, take it or leave it" and "i'm doomed to be like this always because i have a personality disorder/anxiety/bipolar/etc" are unacceptable.
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months ago
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honestly it's been really healing being back to actively contributing things and writing out thoughts on tumblr the last week or so, because while twitter tends to be easier for me to write out Thoughts on without getting overwhelmed, the environment in the twitter fandom circles i'm interested in is not only infested with antis but cliqueish in a way that is caustic to the fucking soul if you try to express a thought that's more than three sentences long--a hundred times over if you're autistic in slightly the wrong way--and it's incredibly reassuring to come back to an environment where the very kindest and most inclusive people toward you are not clearly thinking the r-slur the entire time they interact with you lmao
#whosebaby talks#took an incident of just open petty cruelty the other day for me to finally go#you know what all of this is doing a huge number on my self-esteem and scrupulosity and social anxiety and mental health overall#sometimes it pays to hold out and give the benefit of the doubt#when your knee-jerk reaction is to think something Must Be a Sign of Shitty Intent; bc often it will turn out that wasn't the case at all#but unfortunately sometimes it turns out people are in fact just being shitty in exactly the way you thought they were#and at the *very* best you are incompatible in such a way that if they don't have bad intentions you're just never going to be able to tell#or well. not even necessarily bad *intentions*; just shitty behavior that's harmful to you regardless of whether they mean well#sometimes you just gotta accept that even if neither of you *is* being shitty it's not worth your peace of mind to never be able to confirm#and it's better to just save both of you the stress and not try to pursue that.#it fuckin sucks when it's people you think are cool and really want to get to know; it's a hard lesson to learn; but it's the way sometimes#......and then sometimes the confirmation you finally get is that yeah okay this is some bullshit#and not in a way that can likely be communicated past; no matter how much effort you make to be kind; clear; and mature#and being publicly humiliated for carefully trying to yes-and some clarification on meta of mine#which was being used in ways i was deeply uncomfortable with; and had had no warning would take the turn that it did#and which was contributing to the original post gaining traction in the first place#all targeted in ways pretty much tailor-made to hurt someone with specific issues they had seen me talk about + acknowledged#was just. yeah i think i'm done here lmao#i am Not someone who takes down meta once posted#so the fact that it was bad enough to make me delete an entire thread really says something lol#anyway. lots of other context there; and i appreciate that in some ways the person was genuinely trying to be kind; but i'm. yeah.#that shit Hurted Extremely; and made me realize that while i'm not the *most* well-socialized or articulate or approachable#there is just something in the water over there and no amount of The Problem Not Being Me would have mattered#and the nice asks/replies/comments i've gotten both recently and during hibernation make me feel warm inside; thank y'all <3#the salt files#bullying cw#ableism cw
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pallanophblargh · 1 year ago
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Post-vacation clarity in the form of... word vomit? Sure!
First: so very lucky. So very fortunate. Grateful. That I FINALLY got to cross off a bucket-list vacation and see some massive trees and beautiful mountains. Everything I could have imagined! And it's definitely worthy of a re-visit, once time has passed and I've recovered financially.
Second: I'm so amused that my slight trepidation regarding the potential for "culture shock" was unwarranted. See, if you're a rather unsocial midwesterner schooled in the ways of "Minnesota Nice" aka Advanced Passive Aggression, you might be worried about venturing into more direct/easygoing/outgoing cultures. I was delighted to take a vacation from blatant pettiness and passive aggression during my time out west. And honestly? I miss it. San Francisco was pretty agreeable, all things considered, and I will make a point to revisit.
Third: I loved taking the train! And at the same time, I'm heartbroken for the way passenger trains have to operate in this shithole country. Please. I just want so many trains. At all hours, in every direction. And, if it's NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE, for assholes to not drag enormous tractor tires onto the tracks. (Fuck you, Utah.)
In conclusion: I'm so happy I went, and now I have to go through my photos while I reluctantly pick up where I left off here. And yes, California, if I can, I absolutely will be back. Thanks for having us.
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tariah23 · 1 year ago
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I don’t think randomly dming strangers asking them to commission you is a good idea…
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bowtiestash · 1 month ago
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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol
#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude#which is like. yeah. i get it#and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art#but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable#adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand#but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying#which i know is very harsh of me to say#i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN#once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself#i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff#if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable#keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are#and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself#if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun#skypeaks#also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience#cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way#so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral#start there. start with 'im okay at this'
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itsseriouslyridiculous · 3 months ago
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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