#you just got owned by shitscram of all people

[random-kido]

Thinking about idw specific krokstar where they didn't have the bonding part of their rooming situation that they do in the au and instead mostly just existed near eachother, but they still did that thing where when you're stuck with someone for so long that you share your socials with eachother anyway

People will follow star just to see what drama he stirs up online and out of nowhere he'll start tagging some guy they've never heard of in some of his posts and the guy just responds by telling him to fuck off, but they CLEARLY follow eachother so everyone's just ?????? about it.

Even funnier if either of them get in some sort of online argument where the other is more knowledgeable in the matter and thry tag eachother in. "I don't know enough about what you're saying to speak on it myself but I know enough to know that you are wrong. I'm getting a scientist, hold on. @/starsoffial GET HIS ASS" and vice versa for history stuff lmao

[coquelicoq]

just got a thank-you card specifically for a christmas card. like, this woman (my dad's best friend) sent me a christmas card, then i sent her a christmas card, then she sent me a card thanking me for the christmas card. here is what she wrote:

Thank you for the best belly laugh of 2024. The Fucking Deer card is the hit on Christmas card wall. I will keep it FOREVER and put it up every year. So from now on it will always be the FIRST card up! (and the last one down!)

here is the card in question:

[ID: Outside of a Fresh Frances greeting card, illustrated by Demi Schlehofer. The card has a repeating pattern like you might see on a Christmas sweater, featuring reindeer and fir trees. Five of the reindeer are standing alone. There are also three reindeer couples having sex, with one reindeer mounting the other. /end ID]

the message printed on the inside of the card read:

Oh deer! Wishing you a very merry Christmas!

in addition to which i had handwritten:

Help. I bought this card thinking it was a nice holiday sweater/cross stitch theme, only to discover when I got home that those reindeer are definitely getting busy. I was only looking at the reindeer that are just standing there alone but there is reindeer erotica mere centimeters away. Kinda makes sense to do this through the medium of cross stitch I guess...it comes pre-pixelated. Anyway, I have this card now and I'm going down my list of people I know trying to think who would not take this in one of the multiple possible wrong ways to take this, and I landed on you. So, congrats for being the recipient/lucky winner of the fucking reindeer card, I guess??? [paragraph of responses to specific things she had said in her Christmas card] Keep on keepin' on, and remember, reindeer babies gotta come from somewhere. Happy holidays! [my name]

[anarchscry]

Been a while since I've done one of these holiday posts. It's been a wild few years for everyone, and this year has been especially interesting.

Early this year, I said that 2023 is the year of self-discovery, and boy was that right. Seen a lot of people around me going on their own journeys and learning more about themselves, and becoming more comfortable being open about who they are. Feels good to see it happening, even as I've been having my own journey of self-discovery.

I've been sorting through a lot about myself this year, and I'm not gonna derail this post to go into all of it, but it's been a good journey, if a bit rocky at times. That's how life goes, though. Just gotta keep moving forward and focusing on the good things coming. Would be nice if those good things could get here a little sooner, but I've learned how to be patient.

Meanwhile, for the rest of you: Make sure you're taking care of yourself, and be sure to check in on the people close to you. You can't serve from an empty bowl, but we're also all in this together. Sometimes all it takes to help keep someone's head above water is a reminder that someone really does care about them, no matter how rough things may get. Make sure they know how you feel about them, in whatever form that takes. Staying silent has a way of turning into regret.

Stay safe, stay warm, and cherish the moments you've got. Embrace joy and remember the good things in life. It can easily become the thing that keeps you going until you're out of the dark.

Merry Shitscram.

[littlewalken]

Dec 24

I opened the outer carton of the Sakura art supplies Re Ment but not the inner boxes yet and there is a secret set for this one. ~makes a happy noise~ Don't know what it looks like but I have a fair chance to get it.

First off let me tell you the way it works- all sealed cartons of Re Ment, and quite probably other similar toys, will have a full set. This is usually represented by an 8 (or like a 6 or 12) on the outside of the box. It has something to do with the laws over there. You buy a sealed carton/full set you will get all the pieces to that set. The last few I've gotten from Lord Bezos' estate have had stickers sealing them closed to say so.

Ah, but some have an extra 1 on the small box and in the ads! That means in every so many cartons one of the small boxes will contain a "secret set". That could mean from a color variation to a 1 in however many different but related to the set item. Like the first cat set having a cat and dog facing off or the tea garden having a kettle and ladle pouring water.

Of all the Re Ment I've bought I got like 2-3 secret sets at random, bought the tea and cat ones, one was for a family restaurant but the pan had cooked food and sauce residue instead of raw food, and the other was for me the bestest only secret set I probably ever could have wanted and don't know how I manifested but opened up a box to find...

The colored pencils. Yes, each of the pencils is loose. Haven't looked recently but people still might be getting the price of a full carton just for that one item. Hell, I don't even have a box like that for my pencils yet.

So I really want to hold off until Shitscram proper to open the little boxes and have one more night of wishing and hoping and wondering what the secret set might even look like because I can't seem to find pictures of it on line.

Don't care tho as doll sized art supplies are doll sized art supplies.

I generally say "Re Ment is for littles" (1/6 scale) to keep me from buying and going crazy on miniatures for the bjds but I make exceptions for art supplies/stationary and the occasional exact mini of something I have.

Look up bird/compact computer mirrors for doll sized electronics. It also works as a toy for your cat if they keep laying on your lap top. Just give them their own.

[96percentdone]

@halfpastmonsoon merry shitscram. I wrote you some angst pfft. 

Summary: An imagining of the conversation Hoshi and Ouma had in chapter 2 about his motive video.

Spit hits the sink in the boys bathroom of the first floor. You still can’t get the taste of coated fake grass and crawling bugs out of your mouth. Despite feigning passing out, you’re pretty sure part of your soul really did die in Gonta’s lab. “Eugh…” You chug a large glass of water. It’s still not gone. Whatever. It’ll go away by tomorrow. Today’s been something of a royal disaster, with you unable to get people to watch their motives, and having to play with bugs for ten minutes for real. You wrench the cold handle on the faucet off, and trudge towards the door, feet loudly scraping against the bathroom floor.

When the door opens, you stroll out, casually sliding your hands behind your head and whistling the most annoyingly cheerful tune you can think of, frustration still boiling in your stomach. The more days pass the more likely someone is going to commit murder; this was your best chance at keeping tabs on potential suspects and it all went to shit just like that! Fucking Kiiboy..! You didn’t notice you kicked the ground.

The door into the entrance hall opens. “There you are,” a shockingly deep voice greets you. Must be Hoshi-chan! Seems he was looking for you. Probably about the motive videos. “I ran into Shinguuji. He told me you stole all the motive videos, so you could make them watch, right?” There it is. He gazes up at you with cold analytical eyes. You hate that gaze. You feel like it sees right through you. It’s not what you need right now.

“Yeaaaahhh…” You look down with your hands falling to your side, shifting your foot back and forth like a child who was caught stealing candy from the jar. “Nobody else liked my idea though so..” you sigh, staring at the wall with disinterest. “They ruined my party and took the videos. Probably returned them too.” Is that all?

“Not surprising,” Hoshi-chan replies, sticking the candy cigarette in his mouth. “They didn’t want to see the motives to begin with.” He watches you coolly. “You won’t get anywhere through such backhanded methods except dead.” He still doesn’t leave. Clearly he wants something.

“That’s what makes it more exciting!” You jump up, channeling your annoyance into pseudo-excitement. “If I’m not risking my life in his death game what’s the point, y’know? I wanna enjoy it to the fullest!” Lying is so easy. Where would you be without it? Hoshi-chan’s look just gets more pointed. “But y’knooowww…” you grin slyly, looking him right in the eye. “The fact that you came here to me about it means you wanna know where yours is, riiight?”

Hoshi-chan doesn’t answer, instead turning his gaze towards the wall. He frowns, taking the candy out of his mouth. You think there’s conflict in those normally dead eyes: a mix of curiousity, desperation, and guilt. He still hasn’t answered, the silence stretching on for what feels like minutes; you don’t have the patience for this, your legs itching to take you back to your room so you can punch your own pillow in peace while you come up with another plan. “…Yeah.”

Yeesh, finally! If people are going to bother you about your own failures, can they at least be quick about it? “You suuuure?” You lean down close to him, looking at him with questioning eyes. “If a murder gets committed tonight I’ll tell everyone it’s you~” you singsong, as you calculate the risks of letting him know.

You can’t not tell him. If you don’t tell him, it’ll put cracks in your façade as to why someone so eager for blood didn’t encourage it, and yet giving someone their motive one on one like allows for the exact situation your plan exists to prevent. The conflict of interests between your plan and your goals could not be more apparent. This fucking bullshit is exactly what you needed today!

You have to tell him. Well, it should be fine, you think. Hoshi-chan’s video didn’t really have a motive. There was nothing in it. Just some more misery fuel. I think he can handle a little more guilt. There’s no amount of guilt a murderer could feel that would justify their crimes.

After some more debate clearly drawn across his face, he nods, and the conflict in his eyes gets brushed aside by determination. He closes his fist. “I have to know if there’s something worth living for. So I can find a reason to make it out of here with everyone else.” You wonder if he’s serious, or if this is just something he thinks you’d want to hear. Why would he think that? Something about his eyes tugs at the back of your heart. You ignore it.

“Harukawa-chan has yours,” you gesture towards the stairwell with your hand. “She’s in her lab. Good luck getting her to let you in!” Odds are it’s still in her room, given how she spends all day in her lab, but it’s fine. It’s not your problem. Hoshi-chan isn’t your problem. He won’t kill anyone like this, and frankly, why should you care if a mass murderer ends up sadder? You’ve got enough bullshit to deal with as it is.

“Thanks, Ouma.” He says it softly, with a quiet smile. You think there’s hope in his eyes. The tugging on your heart gets worse. “You’re not as much of an evil bastard you play yourself up to be,”  he reaches up and claps your shoulder, before heading towards Harukawa-chan’s lab. You wonder how much more guilt you can handle.

- - - - - - -

When the curtains pull back, everyone watches with horror as Hoshi-chan floats lifelessly in the tank surrounded by piranhas. As the ravenous fish rapidly pick away his flesh with their teeth, your guilt mirrors them, eating away at your at your logic and your façade until nothing remains but the bones they were built on.

“You’re not as much of an evil bastard as you play yourself up to be.”

No. You’re much worse.

[felidae-charr]

That was... literally the worst living story patch I’ve ever played.

Naturally, spoilers. And if you can’t tell from the title: I have a very negative opinion of the latest living world story patch. EXTREMELY NEGATIVE, in fact. If you choose to read on past the read more, you need to expect both spoilers and heavy negativity - because in my opinion the way ArenaNet have treated their characters this patch has been fucking disgusting to the extreme and it absolutely destroys the climax of the patch. Worthless fucking garbage.

I’m going to sum up my problem with this patch in a simple sentence, to begin.

Characters are not given the time to be characters. ArenaNet presents us with cool ideas for these characters, but takes no time at all to explore these ideas, and this means that when Aurene dies, I don’t fucking care.

My favourite - my favourite - character, and her death feels empty, hollow and meaningless even more so than Eir’s death did. I was furious with how they treated Eir in Heart of Thorns, but how they’ve treated Aurene has me spitting feathers and I just legitimately spent fifteen minutes ranting the ear off of my partner because these writers are only getting worse as time goes on and it’s destroying any love I had left for the GW2 shitscram of a story.

“But what do you mean?” you ask. “What do you mean characters don’t get time to be characters?”

Allow me to give you a hypothetical situation:

This latest living story patch doesn’t end on fighting Kralk. It doesn’t end on Aurene being fruitlessly fucking murdered for no good reason and it doesn’t end on a bullshit cliffhanger. It also doesn’t involve an instance where characters become fearful of Aurene for all of ten seconds, and then immediately flip-flop back to totally trusting her and the Commander after some harsh words. No. No, none of that. Instead, picture this:

Aurene is given an extra few instances where she just gets to be a character. She gets to be afraid of death. She gets to be afraid of failure. She gets to struggle with the weight of her fated task on screen. We see her sulking. We see her feeling sad, lonely and isolated, the only offspring of Glint left after her brother’s slaughter at the hands of Balthazar (to save the Commander, no less) and not even able to talk to the characters like the Commander or Taimi because of her very nature. We’re not just told of her fears, we’re shown them. Aurene is allowed to just be.

And then we go into the trials. We see more of her struggle, her initial reluctance to work together because she’s the Scion and she has to be strong for everybody! She has to become strong enough to avoid the fate she saw in her visions! We don’t just do some arbitrary, asinine bullshit in the trials; perhaps we save Aurene from herself in a more impactful way when she is shown the Branded version of herself. Something meaningful. Something that shows Aurene and our Commander truly connecting, forming a bond instead of us just giving her a little pat on the head and saying “Hey, it sucks that you only saw horrific visions of you dying a painful, terrible death but we’re here with you :) “

Then we go into the Forge, and in the Auditorium we are attacked by the Brand from the Rift. Aurene displays her new, growing power, and characters are allowed to be afraid of her.

Rytlock is allowed to be distrustful of her because he is very much a distrusting sort. He becomes somewhat distrustful because Aurene is a dragon and nobody can really know how she feels, and Aurene can’t verbally tell him. He’s distrustful because Aurene is immature and has been afraid. He’s distrustful because he has been burned by Kralk once before and he lost Glint, and he is fearful of the idea of losing a second good dragon. Rytlock is allowed to be a character.

Canach is allowed to feel some manner of distrust when he sees Caithe enter her partnership with Aurene. He’s allowed to be suspect of yet another dragon that can turn Sylvari into minions, and perhaps he doesn’t immediately believe that Caithe is entirely herself. Canach is allowed to remember the horrors of Mordremoth and the feeling of having a dragon inside your own head and he is allowed to squint in suspicion at what he sees because it isn’t like he has any other experience of dragons! Canach is allowed to be a character.

And imagine another entire instance letting them feel that way. Instead of the bullshit thirty second scolding that seems to totally change their mind. Imagine an entire instance where you have to try and regain the confidence of these people, people who have LEGITIMATE REASONS FOR BEING UNCERTAIN and who SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD THOSE LEGITIMATE FEELINGS HANDWAVED AWAY. Imagine a small but whole instance of these characters getting to feel that way, of having to be reasoned with because they have valid fears and concerns that deserved to be recognised. Instead of ArenaNet just giving you the idea that these characters have feelings, only to magically make them disappear less than one minute after they voice those feelings, and for those fears to never be brought up again.

And imagine after that, an instance of having to console Aurene! Of Aurene feeling hurt and broken because even when she tried to communicate with her friends, the only family she has left who has turned on her, and the Commander and Caithe having to tell Aurene that it’s okay. They’ll come around. They’re still a family. Imagine Aurene being allowed to actually try and prove herself to these people to win their confidence back. Imagine Caithe and Aurene actually being allowed to explore the idea of Caithe becoming “Aurene’s Voice” and talking to these uncertain characters. Imagine Aurene being allowed to express herself!

And now imagine Aurene’s death, after that. Now imagine, after the extra time being taken to look at these characters and their fears, their uncertainties, their hopes, their dreams, their desires to achieve a better result for Aurene than they managed for Glint, imagine how much Aurene’s death means.

It would have meant so much more. It would have been so much more impactful. To have come so close and to be met with failure, and beyond that, to have been shown Aurene in a personal way, to have been shown how hard she had to fight to overcome what she saw in her visions and how frightened it made her, to have been shown Aurene winning the trust of the only surviving family she had left, and then to have her snatched away when we thought we were on the cusp of winning.

What ArenaNet did to Aurene this patch was fucking disgusting and I am appalled. The writing for this living story has been getting worse and worse and worse. Characters aren’t allowed to feel like characters anymore. They’re killed on a whim, they have their emotions handwaved away like it means fucking nothing, and it hurts me because this game is better than this. It has done better than this.

I remember an entire instance, a whole story step, devoted to Trahearne and the Pale Tree. When Trahearne was at his lowest, we had a story step where he visits the Pale Tree, and she shows a vision of Orr to our not-Commander-at-the-time and to Trahearne, to try and encourage him. We get an entire story step devoted to Trahearne admitting his fears, telling us how he does not feel ready for this destiny that’s been given to him, how he doesn’t think he can do it. Of course there was some fighting in that story step, but even though Trahearne was not well received overall, those story steps FUCKING MATTERED.

This game used to let characters breathe. It used to let them think and feel and it used to give their emotions validity and meaning. It used to be able to treat the characters it had with respect, to give them the time they deserved so that when things happened to them, it was impactful. Why were we so angry at Eir’s death? Because a character that we had come to love, a character that ArenaNet had given the time to be a character with fears and hurts and had given a small but notable arc in trying to heal from the death of Snaff and the abuse of Zojja and a character that ArenaNet had cared enough about to explore and let exist and grow in the world got killed without a second thought, for no reason. She was killed as a plot device to turn Braham into an asshole - where Braham had not been given as much care and love as Eir had.

This game used to do better by the cast of characters it had, and I cared about what happened to them. In another world where it still did that, Aurene’s death this patch would have had me sobbing. I was moved by Trahearne’s sacrifice at the end of HoT. I was genuinely upset and sad. I wished I could have done more to save him. And the crazy thing is that I still like Aurene more than I like Trahearne - and yet her death didn’t make me shed a singular tear. A character I adored the concept of, who I thought had been done so well up until this point, horrifically killed defending my own character and I felt... nothing. Empty, hollow and angry that she had been so mistreated by the writers.

Fuck you, ArenaNet.

All of these characters deserve more time than you give them. You used to give your characters time, and as a result, they felt believable and lovable and I cared about what happened to them.

[sureuncertainty]

Mistletoe

A Sure Uncertainty Christmas Story by Aemelia 

I wrote this last year and edited it today, figured, hey, it’s that time of year, have a short, goofy, little story about my OCs and their love-hate relationship with the concept of mistletoe!! Enjoy! 

“Who hangs lettuce from the ceiling, like what is even the point of that, I do not understand.” Emma folded her arms across her chest, looking up at the small green sprig hanging from the door frame of the kitchen.

“It’s not lettuce, Mom,” Antony A said from his perch at the stool on the kitchen counter, rifling through a newspaper. “It’s mistletoe. It’s part of getting in the Christmas spirit. You know, like when you—”

“I know what it is,” Emma snapped, cutting him off. “I’m just pointing out the uselessness of this ridiculous tradition. Why do you need a green plant hanging from a string to kiss someone?”

“It’s just fun, Mom, it’s not like it’s… you know, never mind. I’m clearly not going to convince you.” He flipped a page in the paper.

Emma glanced over at him. “Antony, you’re the only teenage boy I know who would sit inside and read the newspaper on a break.”

“It’s literally snowing outside, what else am I supposed to do?”

Emma didn’t respond, just glanced up at the green stuff hanging from the ceiling to give it one last glare. She wasn’t buying into any of that sappy Christmas tradition stuff. She liked Christmas as much as the next person, and liked romance as much as the next person, but in her opinion there were much better ways to show affection than following this strange tradition of kissing your lover underneath a sprig of what definitely looked like lettuce hanging from the ceiling. It was ridiculous, that was all.

 ***

“Oh god, did we really get mistletoe?” Antony D stared up at the green sprig on the ceiling with an eye roll and a sarcastic dismissal. “What kind of stupid tradition is that to have in our house? Like a Christmas tree or whatever, I get, but like…”

“Geez, Antony, you don’t have to be such a grinch,” Roma D said, joining her brother to look up at the decoration. “I think it’s cute!”

“Yeah, says you, who wears a glow in the dark Christmas sweater that lights up and sings jingle bells or whatever.”

“It does not sing jingle bells and it is not glow in the dark,” Roma corrected, glancing down at her embellished sweater. “But it does jingle.” She poked at one of the actual small bells attached to her sweater.

“Whatever. I just don’t get why we need this in our house.”

“That’s what Mom was saying earlier,” Antony A said, coming into the room from the living room to see his siblings staring up at the mistletoe. “I don’t know why you guys have to make such a big deal about it.”

“Were you the one that put it up there?” Antony D asked.

“No, it wasn’t me! I thought it was one of you two.”

“Not us,” Roma D said.

“What are you guys talking about?” Her twin sister emerged from the living room, sliding a bit on the slippery linoleum in her socks. 

“The mistletoe,” Antony A said. “There seems to be a divide in our family between people who think it’s cute and people who think it’s dumb.”

“It’s dumb,” said Roma A without missing a beat. “It’s really dumb. Kissing people under the mistletoe? Gross.”

“I didn’t know you guys felt so strongly about this,” Antony A said in some confusion.

“Well, we could stand here talking about it more or we could like… go do literally anything else,” Roma A said. “Mistletoe isn’t worth our time.” 

 ***

“Hey, Emma… come over here.” Gene beckoned his wife over to where he stood leaning “casually” against the door frame. Casually meaning looking very much like he was trying to see just how unnatural he could look leaning on a door frame.

Emma stopped chopping vegetables and looked up to stare at him. She glanced up at the green stuff still hanging from the door frame.

“I refuse to take part in this ridiculous Christmas tradition,” she said firmly, going back to chopping so she didn’t have to see the disappointed look on his face. “If you want to kiss me, then come right over here and kiss me.”

“It’s not the same when you do it like that, that’s not how it works,” Gene said, deflating a little.

Emma shrugged. “I’m not taking part in it.” No matter how adorable you look in that Christmas sweater.

 ***

“Angel, even if you don’t really like Christmas very much, you have to admit that it’s basically impossible not to have fun decorating cookies, am I right?”

Roma looked up from the cookie she was frosting to grin happily at her friend, sitting across the table, hard at work on her own. Her blonde head was bent over the cookie and she looked so deep in concentration that Roma didn’t bother expecting a reply. She looked so determined, as if making that one cookie look really good was the most important, meaningful thing she would do in the world.

Finally, she looked up.

“Done.”

“Can I see it?”

“No.” Angel hid it with her hand. “Not allowed.” 

Roma pushed her hand away to look at the cookie. It was shaped like a Christmas tree with green frosting, red and white sprinkles, and ‘Merry Shitscram’ written in beautiful flowing cursive. 

“Wow,” Roma A said slowly, staring at it. “It’s beautiful.”

“My finest creation,” Angel said, cracking the smallest of half-smiles. She hopped down from the table, strolling over and leaning against the door frame, pulling out her phone to check something. Roma stopped, glancing up at the tiny green plant hanging by a string directly above them, and then across at Angel staring mindlessly at her phone. 

She didn’t think, just leaned forward, grabbing the collar of Angel’s shirt and kissing her directly on the mouth for a split second. She quickly pulled away to see Angel’s face red with shock, her eyes wide, and felt her own face warm. 

“It’s, uhhhmm, the mistletoe!” She pointed up at the ceiling. “You know. Mistletoe. It’s like, uh, just a tradition, I wasn’t… I was just… tradition… yeah…. It’s… you know…I… I… yeah. Anyway, I’m gonna go pee, see ya.” 

She pretended not to notice Angel’s scarlet face, and scurried away before she could embarrass herself further.

 ***

“Mom, I have something to tell you. Two things actually.”

Emma looked up from where she was finishing the dishes. “What is it, Roma?”

“First… I decided that mistletoe is actually the worst, literally most embarrassing thing in the entire world. I mean, I already knew that. But, it, uh… it was confirmed. Recently. For me. I no longer have any doubt in my mind that mistletoe sucks.”  

Emma stared at her daughter. “Okay?”

“And the other thing is a confession.”

That got Emma’s attention. She put down the cloth. “What did you do?’

“Well… you know the green stuff hanging from the ceiling?”

“Um. Yes.” 

“It’s not mistletoe.”

“What?”

“It’s, uh… it’s lettuce.”

Emma stared at her for a second. Roma stared back at her. They both blinked.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I was just… You know what, I just really really don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?”

“You’re telling me… that it is lettuce. Whcih was what I thought initially. This entire time it was...but—you know what, I’m not even going to ask, okay, I’m not even going to ask.”

“Good. I just had to get it off my chest. I didn’t realize this was going to be such a big deal in our family.”

Without another word, Roma turned around and raced upstairs, nearly running into her father, who was rounding the corner. Emma looked up at him, still a bit confused.

“Did you hear what that girl just said?”

“That it isn’t really mistletoe, she just literally somehow taped lettuce to the ceiling?”

“Um. Yes.”

“Yes, I heard that. I, um… I’ve decided not to question some of the things that our daughter does. But I do have a question for you.”

Emma just waited, folding her arms.

“You know how you hate mistletoe and refuse to take part in a tradition as silly as kissing under mistletoe?”

“Yes? Why do you people keep asking me about things I am already well aware of?”

“Well, I was just wondering if you felt the same about kissing under lettuce?”

Emma sighed, cracking a smile at the pleading grin on his face. “Oh, come here, you,” she said, stepping forward and kissing him as hard as she could. As they pulled apart, she glanced up at the ceiling. 

“I think I like kissing under lettuce better,” Emma contemplated. “But maybe we should hang up some actual mistletoe, what do you say?”