#you have no idea how much we love helena in this house :)!!

[4lexnilsen]

“happy birthday,  little cat,”   alex muses with a sweet smile,  holding out a stack of freshly made blueberry pancakes,  covered in generous amounts of maple syrup and whipped cream.   a single candle dancing in the light morning breeze as he steps out onto the patio to set the plate in front of his girl,  lips brushing softly against her cheek.   “make a wish,  baby.”   he encourages,  phone already in hand,  ready to record the moment she blows the candle out.   he still can’t believe that october 5th,  the best day of the year, is finally upon them.   alex has been planning this moment for weeks,  carefully thinking through every detail to ensure it’s nothing short of perfect.   he wants it to be special,  something that will make helena feel loved and appreciated,  remind her just how much she means to him,  how she’s changed his life in ways he can’t even begin to describe.   “i have a little surprise for you.”   he carefully sets a purple box with a small box adorning the lid on the beside the plate,  his heart beating so fast as he studies her expression.   his birthday girl.   his sweet angel.   inside she’ll find the very first american edition (one of only 1250 copies) of jane austen’s first novel —   sense and sensibility.   and a travel brochure of traverse city,  michigan.   it’s such a beautiful small town,  and he booked them a lakefront cabin for the weekend,  all she has to do is say yes and pack her bags.   his own are already in the trunk of his car.   “i love you,  @batheir.   happy birthday.”

[wardenparker]

Bones Full of Words, Epilogue

Javier Peña x plus size reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

“He pleaded so much that he lost his voice. His bones began to fill with words.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude

Javier Peña had no way of knowing for certain the American journalist he sometimes sees sniffing around the embassy for her stories is also getting information about the narcos from the same girls that he is. After Helena is brutalized by sicarios, it is that same journalist who comes to take her away and look after her -- giving Javi reason to pause and reconsider his opinion of the woman he had previously not considered as anything more than eye candy.

He has no idea that once she has walked fully into his life, he will be battling with himself over whether or not he should stop her from walking out it of again.

Rating: M for Mature but this blog is always 18+ Word Count: 8.4k Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, food/eating, talk of weight or size, domestic fluff, sass, married flirting, pregnancy, childbirth Summary: Thanksgiving time has come again, but the Peñas are in for more than just a nice meal this year. Notes: It has been such an amazing journey following these two through their love story! We hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have 🧡🧡

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12

There is nothing unusal at all about the dog being the first one to spot the car, but you're still slightly startled by the commotion when the hound in the living room starts howling to sound the alarm. After that it's the two kids who come scrambling out of their room and bounding down the stairs screaming "Daddy's home!" as if he had been gone more than just a few hours.

The whole brigade has sounded the alarm, and you can't help but grin.

Hearing the dog barking and the kids scrambling around in the house before he ever even hits the door, Javi is chuckling as he grabs the deli bag and his bag filled with papers he will need to read sometime over the holiday break. “Shit.” He hisses, turning back to the car to grab the drink carrier, knowing you would be disappointed if you didn’t get your root beer.

"Boys, you have to let your Dad into the house!" You call, coming out from the kitchen with a dishrag in hand. You had been chopping enough onions to sink a ship and washing the smell off your hands was extremely necessary.

“It’s okay!” Javi calls out, although it’s a juggling act to keep the drinks from spilling as the two exuberant kids launch themselves at him.

"You're going to fall over, babe." It is okay, though, and you're both laughing even as you reach forward over two young boys, one ambling basset hound, and a seven-month pregnant belly to grab multiple bags from his hands. "How was class?"

Javi snorts. “Half the class didn’t show up.” He chuckles. “I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t show up either.” He admits, knowing he had wished he was home with you and the boys rather than sitting in his lecture hall. “‘Professor Peña, whhhhyyyy do we have to do reading over the break?’” he pitches his voice up and imitates one of his students. “I really don’t give a shit if they read it or not, but they annoyed me so I assigned it.”

“Your reading list always makes for interesting dinner conversations, I’m sure.” There’s a grin on your face when he leans over to kiss you then head to switch gears immediately to catch your younger son as he launches himself into daddy’s arms. “It’s Steve’s book isn’t it?”

“Of course it is.” He flashes you a grin before he turns his attention back to his youngest child. “Were you good for mama today?” He asks, knowing that he is the mirror copy of a young Javier. So the answer is probably no.

“Yeah!” Your youngest affirms his innocence wholeheartedly, but you roll your eyes playfully.

“Come on boys, Daddy brought home lunch for everybody so let’s wash up.” It earns Javi another grateful kiss from you, since tuna sandwiches from the shop over by UGA campus are your new pregnancy craving. A tuna sandwich on their toasted oat bread, loaded with veggies and American cheese, with an ice cold root beer. He’s brought you home that same lunch every day for a week, and today he brought lunch for him and the boys too.

After the capture of the Rodriguez brothers and the take down of the entire Cali Cartel, Javier had been told his services were no longer needed in the DEA. Which was fine with him because he was going to tell them to go fuck themselves. He had thought about going back to Laredo, and you did for a month or so, but then a teaching position for criminal justice and political science became available at a respectable college and he took it. It only took two year for the University of Georgia to recruit him for their staff.

The blue house on the edge of campus with its white-trim windows and fenced-in yard has been your home ever since he took the job. The boys have started their lives here despite your oldest being born just before you left Colombia, and when they begged for a puppy last year it had been a beautiful basset puppy waiting for them under the tree on Christmas morning that really tied the bow on this being home.

“How are you and my baby girl doing?” After setting Oscar down to run after his brother, Javier pulls you by the waist to him, his hand moving to rub your stomach lovingly. He adores when you are pregnant and it’s especially sweet since you decided this was the last baby, and a little girl.

"We are not big fans of onions today." You grimace, knowing that it could be worse but that it feels like it's the only thing you've done all morning since getting the boys settled in their playroom. "But Marco came up wtih a new name he wanted to add to the list." The notepad on the refrigerator is where you keep the ongoing list of baby name ideas, and every once in a while the boys or another family member will contribute an idea as well. It was Chucho who ended up naming Oscar, and your brothers had pitched the name Marco originally. Names have become something of a family effort.

“Oh?” Javi hums, impressed by his excitement for the little sister due in February. “What did he come up with?”

The smirk on your face says you know Javi won't be as excited for long, considering his son's current favorite movie. "He would like to name his baby sister Donkey."

“That fucking movie” Javi closes his eyes and sighs, hating the fact he had taken Marco to see Shrek. Even though he loves it better than any other movie in the world. “Please tell me you didn’t write it down?”

"Oh no, I didn't." Your grin turns shit-eating as you point to the refrigerator where Marco's large, shaky handwriting clearly spells out the word and takes up four times as much room as any other name. "He asked to write it himself."

“Well I hate to burst his bubble…” Javi snorts at the slanted handwriting and the misspelled Donky written on the board. “We will not be naming our baby girl that.”

"Of course not." And that is where your expression turns fond again, shaking your head at your oldest baby but proud of him for wanting to contribute to a big family decision. "But I love that he's thinking about it."

“God.” He snorts, grinning at the antics of his children, but like you, he’s proud of them. “So no onions today, huh? Made you gassy?”

"The smell made me sick first thing," you admit. After washing your hands with the kids, the four of you can sit down at the table to have your lunch. "But I powered through. I don't even want to think about the chaos tomorrow would be if I couldn't make stuffing because of an onion aversion."

“You should have let me handle it when I got home.” He frowns at you, huffing slightly. “I know I can’t cook like you, but I can follow directions passably well.”

"I know you can, babe." The smell of tuna is like a balm over your senses when you unwrap your sandwich and you sigh happily. "But you have to go to the airport tonight to pick up our parents, remember?"

“I can do both.” He knows you want to have the perfect holiday, it’s just how you are. Even the few times you had thrown dinner parties in Colombia, you had wanted everything to be just so. Of course you want a family holiday to be perfect. “Let me help you. I know you’ve got to be tired.”

"I've got a plan." Having the biggest house out of your siblings after everyone had settled down and being the first one with kids has meant that the Peña residence in Athens, Georgia is now family holiday headquarters. While you love it, it is also a lot of work, so you've been working on creating a system. "Once everybody gets here this afternoon there will be plenty of childcare and Michael's wife insisted they're getting pizza and salad for everybody for dinner tonight. Paper plates and plastic cups so we don't make more work for ourselves. At that point there will be lots of helping hands and the work will go a lot faster."

“Beer is in the back of the car.” He had picked that up on the way to the deli you love. Thanksgiving wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without some Budweiser while watching the football game. Although he makes sure everything is done and you are sitting beside him before he sits down.

"Perfect. Thank you, cariño." Having a partner for a husband feels like it sets you apart from the other faculty wives that you end up spending time with, but not in ways that you're upset about. While the other ladies are rightfully bitching about how their husbands don't help out around the house or don't do their part with the kids, you tend to just keep your mouth shut. Javier is always there to support you and share the workload, helping to raise the boys as their other parent and not as a third, older child you constantly have to prod at. Right now is a prime example of it, as he gets the boys set up with their shared sandwich so that you can dig in to your lunch right away.

Javi moves to pour the kids juice into their cups. Marco has a Shrek cup and Oscar with his favorite Barney cup and then he cracks open a ginger ale for himself. The days of starting to drink right after coming home are long past him and he doesn’t miss it as much as he might have expected.

"So, Papa's flight lands at 3:00 this afternoon and Grammy's lands at 3:15." You managed to work the flight times out for both of your parents to come in at the best possible time. "Joey and his wife want to rent a car so they'll get down here on their own after they land, and Michael decided to road trip from Chattanooga so they'll probably be in last even though they're aiming for the same time as everyone else." Coordinating the families does take a little work as they grow, but it's work that you're all willing to put in. Especially so all the kids can spend time with their cousins a few times every year and really get to know each other.

“Okay.” He nods and smirks. “I would have driven to Atlanta to pick them up, but I’m happy as hell I don’t have to.” Both his father and your mom opted to fly into the smaller, local airports so they can be with their grandchildren faster.

"It worked out, thank god." The boys are currently engrossed in a conversation about something Saturday-morning-cartoon related that you can't quite catch, so with the first few bites of your sandwich you enjoy the relative peace. They'll be up early tomorrow to see every second of the Macy's parade so any peace you get today is wonderful. "And I am not grappling with your dad's addiction to pecan pie this year. I ordered one from the bakery along with the apple. Homemade pie crust is officially my nemesis."

Javi chuckles and nods. “Good choice” He teases. “Do I need to go brave the stores for anything else?”

"At this point, if we don't have it, it's not ending up on the Thanksgiving table." And that's the final word as far as you're concerned. "The last thing is picking up the pies, and my sisters-in-law already offered to make that trip tonight for us." You smirk, knowing your brothers' soulmates fairly well at this point. It's only been a few years but you're a tight knit family. "If they're willing to do the last errand, I'm not going to begrudge them getting out of the noisy house for a half hour later on."

“Damnit, she figured out why I always make the last run.” Javi grumbles, but he winks at you playfully. He actually enjoys when the house is in chaos and noisy. Far different from his own solitude for so many years. He’s less in his own head these days.

"Big time." You grin at him, stifling your laughter by having another bite of lunch. "You're the one who wanted a big house, babe. The price we pay is being the holiday house."

"I don't mind it." He had insisted the kids all be able to have their own rooms and he had wanted you to have a dedicated office as well as him. That required a big house.

As it does so often with him now, your smile softens at the edges. "I don't either. And it's going to be even nicer not having to bundle three kids into the car or onto a plane a couple of times a year to see family."

"Well, we had already agreed that the kids having their holidays at home was the most important thing." He reminds you. "Luckily our parents agreed and are willing to come to us."

"Marco gave us that privilege," you remind him, glancing over at your boys. "My mother would have flown to Timbuktu to see her first grandbaby."

"That's true." Your mother had been upset when you hadn't wanted her to come to Colombia for the last month of your pregnancy and the birth. She had flown to Texas to meet him as soon as the three of you had returned to the States.

“And honestly I’m glad that we’re close enough for your dad to get here without much trouble.” Chucho is still pretty spry for his age but that doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for the quick flights between Laredo and Athens.

"I think dad enjoys flirting with the flight attendants." Javi jokes, shooting you a smirk.

“Probably,” you agree, smirking even though you shake your head. Chucho isn’t the kind of guy who would make trouble, so it’s harmless as long as the attendants don’t mind. “Gives the waitresses at his bar a break.”

"He's asked about your mother a lot." He waggles his brows suggestively. "We might have to put bells on our parents at night. Make sure they stay in their rooms."

“Nothing could be weirder.” The look of absolute confusion and discomfort in your face is immediate. “Our family tree does not need to tangle that way.”

He laughs at the abject horror in your eyes and reaches over to squeeze your knee under the table. "I'm teasing, sweetheart." He promises. "Pop asks about your mom, but only in a friendly kind of way." He can't be offended at your reaction, he would have the same kind of instinct if he heard something like that.

“Oh thank god.” You huff, trying to recompose yourself. “I know we live in the south. But we don’t need to be a stereotype.”

He huffs again, amused as you continue to shake your head. "Pop has started seeing another widow, someone from that support group you turned him on to." He had never really thought about his dad needing to talk to other widowers who had lost their soulmates, but you had seen it. Another reason he loves how you have folded into his life so perfectly. You softened his rough edges and noticed the unspoken needs of both of the Peña men.

“Oh good!” That seems to wipe the other thought clean from your mind. “I mean I didn’t show him those groups thinking he’d start dating, just that having some friends who went through what he did would be good for him.”

"Mama wouldn't have wanted him to be alone for the rest of his life." That he knows, having discussed it with her when it had become clear she wasn't beating her cancer. She had known that Javier could and would hold a grudge if he had thought it was disrespectful to her memory. So she had made her wishes clear to her only son. "It is good for him. He said he feels like a kid again."

“I wish we had known before.” Having devoted half your sandwich already, you reach for your soda. “I would’ve have invited her, too. Though in sure she has her own family to see.”

"She is visiting her grandchildren." He nods. "Although pop said he might ask us to come out to Texas this summer to meet her?"

“Absolutely.” That sounds just like your father-in-law. Chucho plans for the long term much better than short term in all areas of his life. “By then our little girl should be okay to travel a bit.”

Javi grins. "I think that was his plan. Show off his newest grandbaby."

“Donkey!” Marco supplies cheerily, having heard his mother say the word girl.

Javi rolls his eyes and sighs heavily while you giggle. "I'm glad you think this is funny." He huffs quietly.

“I have final veto naming rights on anything that comes out of my body,” you remind him with a smug grin. “Of course I think it’s funny.”

"Thank God for that." He rolls his eyes again and gets up when he sees your drink is finished to get you a glass of water.

“You won’t be saying that if I name her something ridiculous in a fit of sleepless silliness.”

"I don't think you want to give our daughter a name that will embarrass her." He points out and licks his lips before voicing something that he's been thinking about since finding out that that baby is a girl. "Is it strange or inappropriate that I was thinking about Helena for a middle name?" He asks softly, watching you to gauge your reaction.

“Oh.” That makes you pause, but when he puts the glass of water down in front of you, you reach for his hand rather than the glass. “I—I actually think that’s so nice,” you admit with tears in your eyes. Though your contact with Helena has waned slightly in the years since she moved to America, you still send each other letters a few times a year to keep up. “Someone we both love dearly…I think that’s a very sweet gesture.”

“I—” he flounders slightly. “She is the reason we found each other.” He murmurs. “The reason we have this life, our children.”

"She is." He is completely correct, and you squeeze his hand tightly for just a brief moment. Now that he's suggested it, there is no other possibility in your mind. "Whatever we pick, it has to go with Helena."

Javi sighs softly, smiling at you before he leans down and presses his lips to yours. “I wasn’t sure how you would like the idea.” He admits. After all, both of you had slept with her, so it could have been a horrible idea in your mind.

"I don't think it's a conventional decision, but we aren't very conventional people." Looking around the table, though, and then back up at him, you shrug. "At least, we didn't used to be."

He chuckles at that and shoots you a grin. “We have slipped into domesticity with surprising ease, haven’t we?” He asks you.

"We really have," you agree, leaning up to kiss him again when the phone on the wall rings.

"You stay there." Javi pulls back and points at you, knowing you would try to heft your pregnant belly out of the chair to rush over to the phone. "I’ll get it." He steps over to the phone and picks it up, reminding himself that he needs to get another cordless phone set so you can just carry one around. It would make it easier and the last one had been broken by the movers. "Peña residence." He answers.

“Hey mijo!” Chucho’s voice is cheery through the cracking connection of the cellphone that Javier had bought him to have while he traveled. “I just boarded and that gorgeous wife of yours said to call before I left Texas.”

“Hey pop.” He twists his body around and winks at you. “Yeah, she worries about you.” He tells his father while watching you. “Didn’t want you to get lost in the airport and miss Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Not a chance.” Chucho chuckles at that. “Tell my grandsons I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“They will be looking forward to it.” He promises and then hangs up the phone after Chucho says goodbye.

“Is Papa here?” Oscar asks hopefully, having heard his father refer to Pop and knowing that holidays mean his favorite family member in the whole world will be coming to play Spacemen with him.

“He will be in just a few hours.” Javi lifts a brow. “If you take a nap, he will be here as soon as you wake up and you will have allllllll the energy to play.” He’s not above making a nap sound like a good thing. Not if it lets you get a nap while he’s gone to pick up the parents.

"All done!" Your youngest announces with an enormous amount of ceremony, pushing away his plate – which actually is empty – and throwing up his hands as it was proof of having finished his lunch.

“Good job, buddy.” Fatherhood has taught Javier a patience he never knew he could have, and he’s been rewarded for it. His boys are already far better than he ever was and he knows they will only become better men than he ever could claim to be.

Getting the boys down for a nap is one of Javier’s best Dad chores, but when he comes back down twenty-five minutes later with the baby monitor in hand you both breathe a sigh of relief. “They missed you this morning,” you tell him, smiling softly over the kitchen clean up. “So did I.”

He hums, knowing that he had missed them too. “Too bad I can’t just lecture from my office.” He shrugs, moving over to where you are rinsing the glasses and softly shooing you out of the way. “Go sit sweetheart.” He huffs. “I know your back is hurting.”

"I won't fight you on that." Your back was a bit of an issue with your second pregnancy so you know Javi is being extra watchful this time around. The balance is good, though. Otherwise you would just go-go-go as much as possible.

“I know you didn’t get any writing done between the kids being out of school and prepping for tomorrow.” He talks as he continues the chore and loads the dishwasher beside the sink. “But how’s the chapter coming along?”

“Honestly I’m a little blocked,” you admit, leaning back in your chair and sighing at the slight relief on your back and belly. “I’m hoping that focusing on family this weekend shakes some words loose.”

“They will come.” He knows that. You are too good of an author for words to fail you. “Anything else you need to prep tonight?” He asks.

“I can wait until more people get here and hand out prep jobs. We like sitting around the table and bitching while we work.” It’s practically a family pastime, if you’re honest. Which is why it’s so fun. “There’s a few things to do but we’ll manage okay.”

“Sooooo.” He closes the door to the dishwasher and stands straight, turning around while he wipes his hands in a dishrag. “What about a nap for mama?”

"Could." You agree, folding your hands under your belly to support the bump. "But Mama missed Daddy and wants to actually see him a little."

He smirks and pushes off the counter to move over and lean down for a kiss. “How about I lay down with you until I need to leave for the airport?” He offers. “I’ll even rub your back.”

"You tryin’ to get me into bed, Peña?" You raise one eyebrow at him and smirk, pointing to your belly. "That's what got us this in the first place."

He smirks again. “Oh I know.” He grunts. “I was there for the whole thing.” You are absolutely irresistible to him when you are pregnant, even more than normal. He loves you carrying his babies. Although, right now he’s simply trying to get you to rest. He worries about you taking on too much this late in the pregnancy.

"Okay, okay." It's not difficult to see the worry in this eyes, and you put up one hand in defeat. "Help me up, love? We can snuggle in bed until it's time for you to leave."

“Okay.” You gave in far too easily, telling him that you are more exhausted than he imagined.

“I’m okay.” At the top of the stairs he is practically cradling you and you kiss his cheek in reassurance. “It’s just third trimester, that’s all.”

“I’m going to worry.” He’s good at that, but the worry over his family is far more meaningful than worrying about sicarios and drug dealers

“I know.” And just the fact of it brings a soft smile to your lips. “I love you, too.”

******

“You look amazing.” Your mother beams at you, eager to see her glowing daughter happy in your last months of pregnancy. “You’re carrying low, I’m so surprised it was a little girl on the ultrasound.” She teases. “What are you going to do if she was hiding a little thingy?” She works as she asks, filling the little tartlets that will be the appetizers first thing.

“We’ll be just as happy to have another boy if it turns out that way.” You promise your mother. While she fills the ham and cheese tarts for the appetizer table, you’re making the stuffing for the mushroom caps, and on your other side your oldest brother is making his jalapeño popper dip.

“Oh I know you will.” She assures you. “Javier is a wonderful father and you make me so proud.” Her voice cracks up a little, looking over into the living room where Chucho is keeping the boys entertained and Javier is diligently cleaning up when one of the boys had broken the rule of ‘no drinks in the living room’ and spilled it on the carpet in his excitement to see his family. “You have an amazing little family.”

“It won’t be so little pretty soon.” Michael’s soulmate, your sister-in-law Maria, reminds the table happily. Being in her first trimester with their first baby, she is sharing in the joy of pregnancy very happily. “Five counts as a big family, I think.”

“Not as big as some, but nowadays some couples are only have one child.” Your mother tuts, as if only having one child is an offense.

"Mom..." You shoot her a warning glance, reminding her silently that Javi is an only child. "All we care about is the kids being healthy and happy. One or two or three... it doesn't matter."

She grimaces and glances towards the living room, remembering that detail. She knows from talking to Chucho, they had wanted a big family. “You are right.” She quickly agrees. “Healthy.”

"Especially since this is the last one." Both of your families know that you're planning on a more permanent form of birth control for your family now. It didn't seem kind or reasonable to let your parents keep wondering if more and more grandkids would keep coming. "The only things I'm birthing after this little girl are books."

“How is your next book coming?” Her eyes widen with anticipation. “When I tell you, the book club is salivating over your last one, I mean they have extended the read.”

"I'm pretty sure your book club are my advanced sales every time," you laugh, grateful to your mother for all of her support in keeping your dreams alive and being just as proud of you as she possibly could be. Your family have really been your biggest cheerleaders. "This one is coming on a little more slowly."

"Pregnancy brain?" Your sister-in-law only half jokes. She's already experiencing some of that for herself.

"Absolutely." More laughter is shared at the table. "Pregnancy brain and being tired all the time."

Chucho ignores your protest and makes it a game, the boys competing for who can make mama the most comfortable.

"I was trying to prevent a fuss." Even though you direct the comment at your husband it seems to fall on deaf ears as everyone moves around again, and your other brother takes over making your mushroom recipe so you can go and lay down. Chucho and the boys have moved the pillows around the couch for you and while Marco is ready to give Mama and Baby Sis cuddles, Oscar has offered up his favorite teddy for your comfort as well. It's moments like those -- the most meaningful gestures from your young kids -- that tell you unquestionably that you and Javier are doing a good job. At their ages your boys have gotten past most struggles with sharing and have instead become compassionate kids who want everyone around them to be happy.

Javi grins as he brings you a Shirley Temple in a cup with a lid and straw. “You think a fuss wasn’t going to be made over you this weekend?” He huffs in amusement.

"I'm not the only pregnant woman in the house," you point out, gesturing toward your sister-in-law who is still sitting at the table.

“But I’m not as pregnant as you are.” She snorts, smirking when you huff. “You can cater to me when I’m about to pop, okay?”

"Thiry-two weeks still has a little way to go," you argue, though you sigh measurably when one of the couch throw pillows hits your back just right. It really is hell on the body to be pregnant, that's for damn sure.

“I hoping for a Christmas baby.” Your mother admits and Javi snorts, shaking his head. “Don’t put that on our baby girl.” He huffs playfully. “She would hate her birthday falling on a holiday where her brothers get gifts too.”

“Healthy and happy.” Michael recites your mantra for you, since you’re a little still trying to get comfortable. “But yeah, Ma. Don’t wish a Christmas birth on your grandkid. That’s hard for anybody.”

Your mother sighs softly and shrugs. “You’re right. I was just thinking about how wonderful the birthday pictures would be.” She admits with a laugh.

“What if we made a flower wreath for her, Mom?” You offer, setting it as nondenominational but evoking that beautiful celebration that she imagines. “An oval one big enough to lay her in for pictures?”

“That would be lovely!” Her eyes light up at the possibility. “She would look so beautiful.” The baby isn’t bore, but she already knows she will be the prettiest baby. “I loved your baby pictures.”

"And you'll love your granddaughter's too." Even through another wince, you have no problem promising your mother that. She has loved every picture of each of her grandkids and you know the next will be no exception.

Javi doesn’t notice this next pain since he’s walking back into the kitchen, but Chucho does. Glancing at you and then at his watch discreetly. “Boys, I think it’s time for bed.” He announces after a moment. “Do you want to say goodnight to everyone?”

Marco and Oscar go around giving good night hugs and kisses to everyone individually before Chucho volunteers to bring them upstairs and go through their nighttime routine with them. He always brings a new book of kids stories with him whenever he visits and this is no exception, so doubtless he'll read them a brand new bedtime story tonight as well.

Javi fixes everyone else drinks, another Shirley Temple for your sister-in-law and wine for Michael and your mother. He cracks open a beer for himself, but he doesn’t take a drink yet, waiting for his pop to come back downstairs.

When Chucho does finally reappear in the living room, he wipes his hands off in a show of a job well done. "They needed two stories, but they're out now," he tells you and Javi happily.

“That’s good.” Javi hands his father a beer and motions him into the living room. “Go keep your favorite daughter company.” He tells him. “I’ll help finish up the food.”

"I can make a little room," you offer, starting to shift on the couch.

“No, you stay put.” Chucho insists, taking the recliner next to the couch where Javi would normally sit and watch the news. “You need some rest.”

"I was fine all day." A fact which frustrates you to no end. Only starting to feel exhausted and a little unwell after your nap is a nuisance. "This is just a pain in the ass."

You wince again and Chucho hums, glancing down at his watch again. “Each time is different.” He reminds you. “You were so sick with Oscar the first few weeks.”

"This is Marco's fault," you joke, not meaning a word of it. "My first pregnancy was easy right until the end and it made me think more would be the exact same way."

He chuckles as he sets his beer down. “You were floating on air when you were in Colombia. Even with the stress Javi was under.”

"It was our honeymoon phase." As patently absurd as that might sound to anyone else, it's true. You and Javi were as blissful in your actual relationship at that time as any other pair of soulmates could hope to be.

“He has really changed with you in his life.” Chucho admits. “I used to worry about that phone call, you know the one I mean. Knowing how easily Javi would follow someone to hell to do the right thing - in his mind - it was hard to let him live his life.” He smiles. “When you came back to him, he was determined to do things right. To be the best man he could and I think he’s done it. Not that he was ever bad but his rough edges have been smoothed out by you.”

"We did that for each other, really." Reaching over, you set your hand on Chucho's and give his a gentle squeeze. "I needed him to soften and bolster me just as much as he needed me."

He turns his hand and his smile widens when your little grunt of pain comes again. Almost silent if he wasn’t looking for it. “And soon, your family will be complete.” He murmurs.

"Just a few more weeks." Your other hand soothes over your belly, urging this to just go away. If it's the baby being active, you want her to calm down. If its Braxton Hicks contractions, you're just going to have to wait until they pass. Either way you just want to get past it.

“More like a few hours, mija” He chuckles. “You are in labor.”

"It's probably just Braxton Hicks." Saying it out loud, the thought in your head, makes you firm on the point. The best you can do is just shake your head and press on. You've had two babies, already. You would surely know if you were really in labor.

“Pains are about twelve minutes apart.” He tells you, leaning back and smirking and looking very much like his only son.

"Pops." You groan, throwing him a pout. "You've been timing me?"

He snorts. “That’s your gripe right now?” He shakes his head. “You’re perfect for my son. I will say it again.”

"It's just Braxton Hicks. I'm not going to the hospital." The warning in your voice ends up making it rise and three heads whir in your direction.

“You don’t have to go yet.” He promises, reaching out and patting your hand gently.

"Hospital?" Your mother looks up, finding Javi's eyes with worry.

Javi glances over at you and knows what you’ve been trying to deny. “She’s in labor. Has been for a few hours.” He trusts you to know your body, even if you are denying it right now. You might not want to believe it, but you wouldn’t put your baby in any risk.

It’s like hearing it from your husband cracks the dam, and the near-instant spring of tears to your eyes makes your voice waver too. “I can’t be in labor!” You sniffle, dropping your head back on the couch. “It’s Thanksgiving!”

Javi stifles a chuckle and moves over to you from the kitchen, kneeling down beside you and cupping your cheek. “It just means we will have to be extra Thankful this year, sweetheart.”

“But what if she doesn’t like pumpkin pie?” Is, probably, the silliest worry and most ridiculous sentence to ever come out of your mouth, but it’s clear that the extra emotions and hormones and worries flooding through you are in control of your thoughts at the moment.

Everyone starts to chuckle and Javi grins at you. “There’s always pecan pie.” He reminds you, kissing your hand.

“I know how stupid I sound,�� you huff, laughing along with them in spite of yourself, and look back at Javi with concern. “She’s early,” you point out, concern lining your eyes. Marco Was born four days after your due date and your labor with Oscar started in the wee hours of the morning on your due date. Early is a new concept for you.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart.” Even though that worry is one he shares, right now his job is to keep you calm. “Why don’t we go out to the hospital and make sure?”

“I haven’t even packed my hospital bag yet.” He’s right. You know he is. That especially if the baby is going to come early, you should be at the hospital and not take any chances. But you just haven’t gotten yourself ready yet. “I guess it doesn’t matter now?”

“Tell me what you want.” Your mother is abandoning the food and immediately jumping to her feet. “I’ll go pack you a bag.”

You describe the place in your closet that you keep your most comfortable clothes and are specific about the ones you want packed, also asking her to add your slippers and a few hygiene items to your yoga bag.

The onesie you’ll bring your baby girl home in is the same one her brothers were brought home in too, and having goes to get that from the laundry room once you’re on your feet. “Honey?” You stop him in his tracks, but a smile is peaking through your nerves. “Don’t forget to grab the list from the fridge.”

“I won’t forget.” He doesn’t remind you that he’s done this three times now, but he knows you are starting to panic slightly. “I’ll double check it.

“Thank you.” With a heavy sigh and a hiss of pain, you look around at your brother, sisters-in-law, and your father-in-law and half-laugh. “I guess she just really wants to meet everyone.”

“I’ll stay here with the boys.” Chucho tells you, wanting you to feel good about having to leave tonight.

“And we’ll come back first thing in the morning to keep Chucho and the boys company.” Joey promises. With his own soulmate pregnant they had booked a hotel room this year, but nothing will stop them from being on board to keep their nephews busy while Mama welcomes the newest member of the family. “In fact…” He glances at Michael, who nods. “Mickey and I are going to cook dinner. Everything we planned on and have prepped. So tomorrow when the baby’s here we can bring you Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Sounds like we’ve got everything planned.” Chucho chuckles as Javi starts cursing from upstairs. “Let me go help him with your list, mija.”

“Of course.” It wouldn’t do any good to remind them that you can still waddle upstairs — no one in this house would ever let you.

He disappears upstairs and everyone starts to move, getting things together and murmuring about what you might need at the hospital.

It's an hour before Javi is pulling the car up to the emergency room door, and by this point you're past denying that you're in labor. Your mother opted to drive her rental car behind the two of you to be with you in case a second pair of hands is needed, and you're climbing out of the car with Javi's help when she pops up on the sidewalk next to you.

“Let me get the bags.” She insists. “You get her inside, Javier.” He barely resists rolling his eyes and smirks at you slightly. “Sure thing.”

"Inherited trait." You hum under your breath, knowing that both your boys are stubborn as well.

“Don’t I know it.” He huffs, as if he’s not just as stubborn as you, maybe more so. Love and marriage, having children has taught you both to compromise a little more than you would normally, but the only place Javier will never compromise is yours and the boys’ safety and welfare. “I’ve got you.” He holds tight when another contraction hits you and you have to stop walking to concentrate on breathing.

"I can check you in." The nurse at the desk waves to Javier to get his attention.

He cuts his eyes up, his expression not exactly relieved. “Maybe after my wife finishes her contraction.” He snorts.

She smiles, polite and professional, but already has one hand on the phone to call up to Labor and Delivery as soon as she has a patient name. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Only when you sigh softly, the signal that the pain has passed, does Javier even attempt to urge you forward. “Come on sweetheart.” He chuckles. “The sooner we get to a desk, the sooner you get to ride in the wheelchair.”

“Yes please.” It will be a relief to be whisked around the hospital in a wheelchair instead of hobbling around trying to balance between contractions, and you give Javi’s hand a grateful squeeze before letting go to pull your ID and insurance card out of your purse. The nurse at the counter is sweet enough but you’re rather task oriented at the moment.

“I’ll fill out the paperwork.” Javi tells you, taking the clipboard when it’s offered. “You sit down, sweetheart.” He looks up at the nurse. “She’s six and half weeks early right now.”

“I’ll tell the L&D nurse.” Though the desk nurse betrays no concern the speed at which she picks up the phone says otherwise.

“We’ll get you up in the room, and then the doctor will tell you that everything is fine.” Javi reassures you - and himself. Babies come when they want to, not on your schedule. “Maybe you can even have a glass of wine with Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Maybe.” His demeanor being as calm as it is makes you so grateful you could cry again, but a nurse comes over with a wheelchair to get you situated and soon enough your mother is there beside you again. It is going to be alright; you tell yourself over and over. Because you’re taken care of and your little girl will be, too.

Javi is holding your hand. “You want a drink sweetheart?” He knows that if you are having the baby tonight, soon enough they will limit you to ice chips.

“Might as well, while I still can.” You’re thinking the same thing he is, and gratefully accept the water bottle he hands you. “It’ll be ice chips before too long.”

“Yes it will.” He leans in and presses his lips to your hairline. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.” And that, especially right now, is enough to make the difference.

******

You are definitely in labor. Javi holds your hand and reassures you through the pain. The doctor monitoring your progress for hours until suddenly everything speeds up and you are wheeled into the deliver room, Javier smocked up in a gown and gloves. He’s been present for both of the boys’ births and he’s not missing this.

It’s just after midnight when your little girl makes her squalling entrance into this bright new world, shaking her fists and blinking with wonder at all the new things to see and hear and feel.

Like the boys, Javi cuts the umbilical cord and is the first to hold his daughter when the doctor hands her to him, bringing her up to you. “Our little girl.” He chokes out with tears in his eyes from joy and relief that she seems just perfect.

“She’s perfect.” At five pounds and six ounces she’s a little on the small side, but the doctor seems satisfied that she’s healthy and was just determined to arrive early. “She really is perfect.” You have cried at the arrival of each of your babies and have absolutely no impulse to hide it, open shedding tears of joy as your little girl stares with wide eyes up into your face.

“Just like her mama.” Because of the risk of complications, only he has been allowed in the delivery room, giving you three time together. “She’s our perfect little joy.”

“Joy.” Your eyes turn up to his, barely able to tear them away from your daughter except to smile at your husband. Your soulmate. “Joy is a nice name.” But since you try to infuse their family heritage into each of your children’s names, you end up smiling wider. “Alegría. We could call her Allie for short?”

“Alegría Helena Peña.” He tried out the name and smiles softly, reaching out to caress her still wet hair. “It’s perfect”.

"I love you." Three words murmured to your soulmate when you smile up at him again, and repeated to your baby girl when you can't help but look back down at her again. "And I love you, Alegría. We both love you more than you'll ever know."

It wasn't on the list, but you don't care. The overwhelming happiness of this moment being immortalized by your baby girl's name is a perfect homage to all the unplanned things that have lead you to this point. Sometimes the best laid plans go awry, and sometimes that is exactly what fills you with love and happiness right down to your bones.

After a few more minutes, the nurses take Alegría away to do all the tests and clean her up. Javi holds your hand while other nurses help clean up the afterbirth. “It’s a good thing I got your gift early this year.” He chuckles, kissing your lips again. “I’m so damn proud of you, sweetheart.”

"I'm just glad she's healthy." It was your greatest fear and you know it was his too. Being left alone in that quiet hospital room together is almost deafening in an odd reversal of the sensation after so much commotion during Alegría's birth. "No NICU. No scary uncertainty. Just an eager little preemie who wanted to meet her whole family at once."

“Our Thanksgiving baby.” Javi smiles. “Even though her birthday won’t fall on Thanksgiving every year.”

“November 22.” All you know is that is after midnight, so it’s technically Thanksgiving Day now. “Add that to February 3 for Marco and August 15 for Oscar. Thank God they’re all well spaced out so they never have to share.”

“True.” He flashes you a grin. “Although the boys might be jealous when she gets a special dish on Thanksgiving.” He teases.

“Birthday cake is about to become a Peña Thanksgiving tradition,” you joke, knowing it could well become true.

“Baby, thank you.” His hand is holding yours again and he’s looking at you like you’ve hung the moon. Even though you are tired, sweaty and would probably say you look horrible, you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, right after the birth of all three of his children. “This is for you.” He offers, holding out the small velvet box he had shoved in his pocket hours earlier.

"Cariño." He has become a fan of push presents ever since first hearing about them, and while you always insist they aren't necessary when asked, it is a special kind of keepsake to have an item that reminds you of this moment. The first moments are the births of your children have all been special in their own ways, so you don't protest, but accept the box from him with a kiss. "I love you," you murmur against his lips, savoring the sensation before cracking open the box in your hand.

A beautiful three stone diamond ring winks back at you, the three baguette cut stones lying end to end in the beautifully carved band in the same metal as both your engagement band and wedding band. A third piece to complete the set like your complete set of three beautiful children. "It's beautiful."

“I figured it could be worn on the other side of your wedding band.” He explains, playing with the jewelry in question. Luckily your hands had not swollen with pregnancy like they had with Marco. “Your children represented on one side.” He murmurs softly. “And my commitment to you on the other.”

"Happily. Without hesitation." You lean over to kiss him again, wading through this feeling of exhausted euphoria for all that you can.

The doctors finish with Alegría and bring her back over to you, making Javi smile at the image when you greedily pull her close. “Do you want me to go get your mom?” He asks softly.

"Yes, please." Nodding and sniffling happily at having your daughter back in your arms, you tilt your chin up to ask for one more kiss before he goes. The new ring has settled on your finger comfortably but all of your attention is back on your little girl. "She'll text the rest of the family for us. At least the announcement is easy this time."

“No international phone calls.” He snorts, letting his lips linger on yours before he bends down more and kisses his daughter’s head. “I love you, mija.” He whispers softly, just like he had when you were carrying her. His life has been changed completely by you and the kids. For the better in every way. Javier knows joy, knows peace, and he knows that his family is the most important thing he could ever fight for. He had decided that he couldn’t let you walk out of his life a second time, and it was the best decision he had ever made.

------

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[queenofmistresses]

A Feyd x reader x paul

Where reader is Paul’s concubine and Feyd falls for her. And Feyd wants her as his Na-Baronness/Baronness and says something along the lines of “with Paul you are just one lady of many but with me you are the sole Na-Baroness”

part 1!!! splitting this up so I have some more time to write part 2! hope you like it!!

Paul Atriedes has multiple concubines, gifts from his father. When he was 15 I was ‘chosen’ to be one of his concubines. It wasn’t too bad to be honest, it is a safe position and role in the house. We each have our own rooms, we do not have to worry about food or clothes, and he is overall respectful of us. He does however, enjoy showing us off, especially during diplomatic events where other houses visit the planet or if he travels to theirs. Never all of us at once of course but he makes us get all dressed up when there are visitors even if we are not being paraded around with him, and he drags one of us around to all the events with him. It is tiresome but we really do have it better than we would if we had not been chosen for this role, we would likely just be servants otherwise, so we try not to complain.

This event is an unusual one. The Baron of Geidi Prime is visiting along with his nephews. It is rare for there to be direct communication between the houses, the Duke and the Baron not wanting to be around each other for extended periods of time despite the advantages of being allies. This time, they’re staying for a full week. From what I’ve overheard through staff as well as listening into conversations, if this event goes well then there will be more like these in the future.

On the first evening of their stay, the Duke holds a stupidly fancy social event for the members of the house and the guests. The poor kitchen staff have been slaving away to cook enough food, and the right food, to deal with the Baron’s greedy appetite. The diet of the Harkonnens’ is hard enough to prepare. I’ve offered to help where I can but it has still been a big effort for the staff. And I haven’t had much time myself with preparing for the event. As it is such a big event, Paul has planned to bring more than one of us, which has included me, so I’ve had to ensure I am dressed up enough. 

Honestly it is humiliating, being dressed up like a doll, to be property to a man. I don’t know how Jessica did it before the Duke fell in love with her. Though, she was able to wear her Bene Gesserit uniform and it would be considered rude to expect any different. 

I have always been fascinated by the Harkonnen culture, though my studies had to stop when I became property of Paul. Their traditions and their ways of ruling, their methods of training for battle, it is so vastly different from other houses I have studied or interacted with. I’m hoping that being shown off at this event would at least give me the chance to converse with the Harkonnen soldiers and learn more about their planet. 

Paul plans to enter with my closest friend, Helena, and me and a couple others will enter independently. I feel sorry for Helena, but I know she does not so much being dragged around as much as me. 

I arrive about an hour after the event begins, knowing it would be better than entering right at the start where there are less people. This way, people take less notice. I find myself a drink and move to the edges of the room, watching people interact and getting an idea of the guests. I’m aware of someone’s gaze on me, but it is a feeling I have become used to and choose to take no notice of it. My eyes find Helena and Paul and to my disappointment they spot me too. 

I watch him trail his eyes down me, I can’t help but feel disgusted by it. They begin to walk towards me and I attempt to plaster a grin to my face. Paul’s arm immediately reaches for my hips, pulling me into him as he continues to inspect me. “You look gorgeous,” he whispers, leaning close to my ears, “I can feel everyone’s jealousy.”

Truthfully, I’m not sure he can, half the time I can’t tell if he is trying to convince himself or me. Probably himself. He loosens his grip on Helena in favour of clinging onto me and encourages me to move further into the room with him. He doesn’t really speak to anyone, to my frustration, and his grip on my hip is ridiculously tight, like he’s expecting me to run at any minute. 

After a while we’re approached by a Harkonnen, he addresses Paul first, tilting his head down in a subtle, but polite, bow. Then he faces me and I realise who it is, the youngest nephew of the baron, na-baron Feyd-Rautha. He lifts my hand up to press a kiss to the back of it, “My lady,” he greets me. 

I tilt my head down and bring myself down to a slight curtsy, “My lord na-baron, it is a pleasure.” I have heard many stories of the na-baron, his impressive skills in the fighting arena, his cruelty to his servants, his cannibal concubines. It was intimidating, but strangely fascinating, as with much of Harkonnen culture. The idea that I was actually meeting him, and he seemed to be showing me some sign of respect, is unbelievably exciting. 

I watch the two men converse for a few short minutes before Paul says goodbye, forgetting about my presence and walking away from us to find something else to do. I feel quite awkward left standing with the na-baron, but he seems to be watching me quite intensely. I’m just about to excuse myself from the conversation when he starts speaking to me. “So you are one of his concubines?” He doesn’t seem to say it with any judgement or pity, which is unusual. So much so that I can’t help but let out a small chuckle. 

“Yes, I am.” I struggle to come up with anything more to say in response. He seems to watch my face for a moment when he hums. 

“Would you do me the honour of accompanying me to the balcony?” he indicates towards the doors subtly, “I would like to speak more with you but it is rather crowded in here.” I try to squash my enthusiasm at the chance of having a proper conversation with him, I wouldn’t want him to get the wrong idea. 

“That would be lovely na-baron.” I bow my head slightly and let him lead the way to the balcony, and watch as he shuts the doors behind us. I lean against the railings and feel him stand next to me, looking ahead of us with me. 

After a short moment he starts to ask about life as a part of the Atreides household, watching me as if I was talking about the most important things. Somehow it feels easy to talk to him, as if we’re old friends. I work up the confidence to ask about his culture and life on Geidi Prime and he tells me about the rituals he does before a fight in an arena. It is odd, his stature is so sure and serious, yet at the same time he seems almost comfortable. 

We talk for what feels like hours but is probably only one, before I hear the doors open, breaking the bubble we’ve put ourselves in. Paul stands at the doors watching me for a moment before he requests my company - it’s not actually a request but it would be rude to just drag me away in front of other people. I turn to the na-baron and curtsy, thanking him for his time before taking the arm Paul has out for me to hold and letting him pull me away from the event. 

Over the week that the Harkonnen house is visiting, I find myself in the company of the na-baron again. I don’t know how it kept happening but he seemed to turn up any moment that I was not already preoccupied. He would offer to walk me to wherever it is I was going to next, or escort me on a walk around the gardens, and we would quickly find ourselves in various conversations. 

I found myself growing very fond of the na-baron, whenever I was on my own for more than a moment I would hope that we would bump into each other. And when we did, I would have to stop myself from grinning far too wide at his presence. Despite all of the stories I’ve heard, he never came across as frightening or unkind, in fact he’s listened to me ramble on about extremely mundane things many times and even seemed to enjoy it. 

On the last day of the visit, we take a walk around the garden together again, and I somehow find myself complaining about my situation with Paul. I can’t even remember what caused me to go down this tangent but before I know it I’ve been rambling for far too long. I grow self-conscious and stop myself from going further, “My apologies na-baron, I shouldn’t be complaining, I am luckier than some in my position.” I mutter out, staring at the ground below us as we walk. 

I hear him hum in thought beside me and come to a stop, prompting me to do the same. “I believe I understand, you feel… overlooked, like if you were gone then he wouldn’t care but at the same time trapped because you’re not allowed to leave despite that.” He seems like he’s deep in his thoughts but what he says explains it so well so I let myself nod at him. At my confirmation he hums again before continuing the walk. 

When we arrive back I go to thank him for escorting me but I stop when he looks as though he wishes to say something. “I would like to stay in contact after we leave your planet,” he says, not letting any emotions show on his face again. I let a smile show on my face at his request and nod. 

“I would like that as well na-baron, that would be lovely.” He nods and takes my hand, bowing down and pressing a light kiss to the back of it and I bow my head down in response. 

“Thank you for keeping me company during my visit, I will write to you when I return to Geidi Prime.” He promises before he walks away from me. I watch him go and let  myself feel the slight giddy feeling at the idea of continuing contact with him. 

[helenaaa2]

Your best friend is pregnant!!!

Im Helena your best friend, we’re always together and I share all my secrets with you, you’re like my big brother. I’m 1.49mts, bob haircut, dark-brown eyes, dark hair, weight 50kgs, B cup and wide hips .

41 weeks ago I told you I had an adventure with a man in a bar when I was on vacations with my family, a few weeks later I bought a pregnancy test and I called you to do it together. We both saw the positive result with fear, I asked you to please don’t tell anyone and then we’ll see what to do.

I didnt want to abort, so I started using very oversized clothes. It was in the week 26 when things started to get difficult because my bump was huge, I tried using even your shirts but anything worked, that huge belly button was visible through every single outfit. After a few hours planning something we decided that the best option we had was moving together as roommates with the excuse of “searching for new work opportunities”, have the baby and give it in adoption, then come back. My parents knew you for a long time so they didn’t have any problem with the idea.

We moved to a little house in the suburbs so anyone knew us and we didn’t have to hide it, I felt completely free using sport bras again and my favourite dresses. We were so peaceful until week 35, by this point I was huge, my milky boobs had doubled their original size, we couldn’t remember any other pregnant women we ever seen that was bigger than me. But there was not that much time left, I was so excited to give birth and finally get back to my life, but at the same time scared because now having a completely natural unassisted birth at home doesn’t seem to be a good idea.

We started thinking about everything we needed for the birth and that we didn’t visit any doctor, so on the week 37 we decided we had to see a doctor just to see if everything was ok and to set everything for the adoption. We drove 2 hours to the closest hospital to the gyno appointment, we told him the truth because he seemed to be very empathic and he actually was.

The appointment started with questions and answers

-“How old are you?”

H.-“26”

-“In 20 years as a gyno Ive just seen two tummies that big, do you know how many weeks you have?”

H.-“Yeah, it never stops growing. I have 37 weeks but I’ve read that maybe it’s just a lot of amniotic fluid.”

-Maybe, but that big it’s not just because of fluids. Do you know who’s the father?

H.-“No, I can’t remember and I don’t want to know”

-Ok, let’s have a look. Please take out all your clothes, use this coat and get comfy in those stirrups right there.

It was time for a ultrasound, we I was very nervous. I asked you to stay with me all the time so you did, I loved how you were supporting me all the time and I hold your hand and put it over my exposed big belly.

Doctor arrived a few minutes later and started preparing everything, we were about to know everything about my baby. He used some gel that was really cold and got my nipples so hard, I was so nervous and gripped your hand firmly. He started scanning my belly with the ultrasound, I couldn’t distinguish anything but when he moved the devise a little bit to the center he laughed so bad “WHATT?!!” I shouted to the doctor trying to see the image in the monitor “Lady, you actually have a lot of fluid but what really makes you huge is that you’re expecting twins”

I couldn’t react, I was totally shocked really thinking in anything, I was just analyzing the new and finally looked at you. You weren’t scared or shocked, YOU WERE SO HAPPY and your happiness went through your hand to me. I felt better after that, but the bad news were coming. After that, the appointment continued with the doctor checking my whole body, my tits, my belly, my cervix and I don’t know what else. When he finished I went for my clothes and dressed up, I come back and heard you talking about the birth, I sit down and the doctor explains everything now to me.

-“What I just saw is something really rare, most women like you…you know…petite with twins don’t usually reach even the week 35, but you’re now on the 37 and the babies doesn’t seem to be very excited to come out. To make it simple…your situation is like this, you’re going to have those babies for at least 3 weeks more inside of you, and right now I can calculate each baby weights around 8lbs”

When doctor said 8lbs I just let another “WHAT?!!!” Come out from me

-“Yes, what you heard sweetie, 8lbs and they’re getting heavier. I calculate a final weight of around 10lbs each if you give birth in the week 40. So, what I recommend you is to let those babies grow those 3 weeks more and then come here to have a c-section or induce the labour if your babies are in the correct position.”

H.-“I was thinking about an all natural birth at home doc…that’s what we want right?” I turn to you waiting for your answer.

Y.-“Yeah, for sure…We were very excited about having the babies at home without any medical procedure. I even took a few curses and now I’m a certified midwife” you said proudly.

-“I wouldn’t recommend that, a birth of babies that big is not something easy, but I admire your courage. What we can do is this, you actually have really wide hips that are perfect to give birth so I won’t be worried about baby getting stuck, but I’m actually worried about your vagina. Most of the times the real problem is that the vagina is not that wide or they just don’t let it stretch correctly. So what we’re gonna do is this: I’ll send you some clases I give online so you can know exactly what to do in all the possible cases that could happen during the birth. But this is just for the week 40 as time limit, if you reach the week 41 there’ll be no other option than practice a c-section, understand?”

My mind was receiving a lot of information at the same time, just the words “10lbs, birth, vagina, stretch, 40, c-section” were mixed rounding my head. Little bit worried and confused I looked at you, you didn’t seem to be worried about anything, you looked so excited and sure about what we were about to do. Again your confidence and happiness infected me and gave me the strength to turn to the doctor and say “That’s great, thank you for everything. We’ll contact you if something happens” Get slowly and hardly up the chair to shake the doctors hand.

We were in the car coming back home and we couldn’t stop talking about what we needed to do, what we needed to prepare, what we needed to buy and bet when the babies were coming. Was a very long road trip so we had enough time to talk and plan every single detail.

-

It’s the first time I write a story, please tell me what do you think. It’s too large but I think it’s not boring

If you like it ask for the part 2 ❤️

[targwh0re]

New Ideas for HOTD Alicent Fashion pt.2

So technically the last one I did for Alicent was apart of a Rhaenyra one, but for continuity sake this is my second outfit redesign for a younger Queen Alicent Hightower.

The dress in question we’re changing is one that will be changed in both scenes it’s worn. One will be a new dress entirely but the other will be just mentally recreating it to look more like the concept art.

The scenes are the dismissal of her father as Hand & The confrontation between she and Rhaenyra about the rumor that had her father dismissed:

I actually love this❤️❤️❤️ it’s just missing a little something, so when comparing these two pics:

If you notice these look exactly the same, except the black is darker, perhaps a velvet, the gold embroidery is more in the form of a design and brighter. The necklace is also more regal looking, bigger than the ones we saw her wear in her girlhood as a noble Lady. Those are the things they should’ve kept for the design of the dress in this scene, she’d look more like an actual Targaryen royal of the time. No offense but the dress that made the cut is kinda bland in tone.

The hair as well, she went for a jeweled hairnet to back to her girlhood hairstyles, precisely why I wish they would’ve kept the braided jeweled crown. It makes her seem more mature (despite her not being but jewelry can be a mask just as much as makeup sometimes) and more royal. She could even still keep it in this half held up hairdo just with the jeweled braided crown/twist added into it:

And the last thing about it the to want to say, the cape would’ve been awesome to see and it would’ve fit the scene. It was raining and she had a man carrying an umbrella for her, I think she’d have that cool ass cape too. Again makes her look more regal, more queen like, more mature.

The next time she wears it that I’d like to change, when she confronted Rhaenyra. A tense scene.

However at this point in time is when she is the most conflicted between her marriage to her husband and her “duty” to her house. I feel she’d reflect that in a representation of both houses. More so red, almost as if adding green was an afterthought, bc I rather think it would be a last minute decision for Alicent to add a green sash or piece of fabric to her usually Targaryen adoption in appearance. A way to feel close to her father by wearing the colors of the house she was born from (just like I headcanon she wore blue as a child to feel close to her mother; Helena Cuy, look it up where I go on a whole rant).

That in mind, imagine something similar to this:

The green being held in place at her neck, Targaryen dragon scales but in gold (perhaps a subtle nod toward Sunfyre/Aegon), it comes to wrap around her waist like a belt, tied at one side the remainder of the green fabric falls free on her left side of her hips down side by side the red dress. Also from the neckline, a half cape of green coming to cover her right side, thin gold chains reaching out from the neckline to hide beneath the half cape.

The red dress underneath would suit the summer climate/warmer climate of the time in the Red Keep, it’s just the right shade of Targaryen red, not to mention the red dress isn’t what really makes the dress but really what is meant to catch ur eye is that she’s wearing green for the first time in a long time. It meant to be hinting at her internal battles. Ofc her cleavage wouldn’t be exposed as depicted so it’s have a higher neckline, perhaps some simple gold and/or black embroidery to enhance it a bit.

Her hair would be something else to consider, thinking back to how we want it to be more mature and queen like. So perhaps a head peace or a jeweled net?

A mixture of these two would suffice:

The first picture is my favorite one and the main inspo for how I’d have done her hair, the pearls, the way her hair is twisted at the top with her bun being kept nice and beautiful in a net. The only thing I’d add from the second photo is the gold lace around the edges of the net, as well as the braid surrounding that as a whole. I’d also take the bands and add them loosely to the bottom part of her hair left down.

As for jewelry, they could’ve taken inspo from actual royal jewels. Something like this for Alicent:

Like I said the look starting originally as her traditional Targaryen Queen attire, with her Hightower symbolism added as an afterthought. Some small pearls could be added between diamond to go more with the pearls in her hair (although I think I might see some pearls in there but I might be dumb).

As for the earrings they could be something like this:

Again incorporating pearls into them or straight up replacing the diamonds entirely.

It’s just Queenly. It’s appeasing to the eyes. And it’s what I expect people to design royal fashion as to look like in period/historical dramas when you’ve proven yourself not concerned with accuracy or if it is a style fantasy gown.

[thebramblewood]

I was going to put this in a comment but I had MANY THOUGHTS so I thought I'd send an ask instead.

I'm in the process of reading through your pre-HZID Zhaoverse stuff and Helena's high school video project made me unexpectedly emotional. I love what you did with it and seeing it adds to the current stuff in the story for sure. It's such a great window into Helena's mind — and her heart, that really comes through here too.

It would be really interesting to see Helena pick up her photography hobby again. It can be difficult to do your hobby when you're in a bad place mentally, but maybe photography could her process her feelings and situation. Photography could also help her have a firmer, better understanding of her own identity. She's very much her own distinct person, unwilling to just go along with whatever Lilith or Caleb feels like doing, and taking part in a hobby she likes could help her affirm herself even more.

A potential difficultly (but also a good source of personal conflict) could be that in the Zhaoverse, at least with some types of cameras, vampires don't show up in pictures? Thus, Helena and the most important people in her life at this present moment (excluding Drusilla of course) don't show up in pictures. Maybe the type of camera the spellcasters were using when Caleb was hanging out with them involved mirrors, and this was why it didn't work.

I don't actually remember if it's been established if vampires show up in pictures taken on more recent cameras. There are all those pictures of the Vatores in your Wolfsbane Manor but they might be paintings, I don't know. It would be interesting whether vampires show up in photos or not! If they don't show up, Helena would have FEELINGS about that to deal with. If they do, she's still dealing with how she, her environment, and her life have changed.

Your early Helena posts also have me thinking about if we'll ever run into anyone from Helena's high school years! Helena evidently did not end up in life where she and her peers probably expected she would. I'm not asking if we'll run into any of those sims because I wouldn't like to cause you problems with spoilers or letting your storytelling process do it's thing, but it was sure something I was thinking about as I read through those old posts!

Thanks again for all the work you put into Helena Zhao is Dead.

You always have such good ideas! So much to address! First of all, don't forget we have already seen a few of Helena's high school friends in the story. Yuki went to Foxbury and encouraged Helena to get out of her comfort zone (I don't think she considered how far Helena would take that advice). Darling showed up briefly when the Copperdale Creep, I mean, Helena was in the midst of wreaking havoc on her hometown. And Ash and Molly were in the prologue!

The deeper we get into vampire angst territory, admittedly, it gets harder and harder to figure out where to fit the lighter or smaller moments in. I always found it tricky in the first place to portray Helena's photography hobby, but you're right that we haven't seen her with a camera in awhile - since her Oasis Springs trip with Ulrike, I think! It's definitely a hobby that, A., she hasn't had much time for or headspace to consider but also that, B., as you said, is a little bit complicated now by the vampire lore around cameras... which I've been somewhat skirting around because I'm unsure about it, honestly.

If I hadn't already made Caleb invisible in the photo with the spellcasters, I might have entirely done away with that piece of lore because it's more inconvenient than not, lol. But I think I can still get away with saying they were using a film camera rather than a digital camera because they're spellcasters who like being pretentious and fancy. So, theoretically, I guess that means Helena could take pictures of vampires, including herself! (Though the portraits in their house are meant to be paintings, so technically the only photos we've seen of the Vatores are from back when they were human.)

I like your point about Helena rediscovering her old hobbies as a way to stay in touch with herself and maintain her own personality. I'm currently trying to think of the best way to introduce a whole side of Forgotten Hollow we haven't seen yet, and I'm tossing around a couple different ideas in my head that haven't fully come together, but maybe photography could play into it in some way. Should Helena attempt to make a documentary of this strange little town no humans are supposed to know exists? I'm not sure how some of the inhabitants we're about to meet would feel about that! 😝

[zepskies]

And So It Goes - Part 19

Pairing: Billy Butcher x OFC (Latina!OC)

Summary: As Madelyn Stillwell’s personal assistant, Helena Flores finds herself caught between protecting her job, and more importantly her life—or helping Billy Butcher bring down the supe who killed her best friend, Becca.

Word Count: 4,200

Tags/Warnings: Angst, tension, and a plan made…

ASIG Series Masterlist

19: Collateral

The morning after Butcher, Ben, and Hughie returned to the house came yet another bomb of information Helena wasn’t prepared for.

Homelander had been created in a lab…using Ben’s DNA.

Holy fucking shit, Helena thought, as she sat down heavily on her couch. That seemed to be the anthem of her year.

Ben explained how Vogelbaum had framed it to him back in 1980—as a simple genetics experiment (the details for which, Ben may or may not have tuned out at the time). After the weight of that fell between them all, he left the room with a large bottle of bourbon Helena had hidden under the sink.

“We’re all packed up for the road,” Butcher said. He looked over at Helena and Hughie, who sat together on her couch. Frowning, she noticed how Hughie discreetly blotted at some dark-colored substance coming from his ear. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t earwax.

What the fuck? she wondered.

“Where’s Soldier Boy?” Butcher asked, breaking her from her thoughts.

“You mean, ever since he told us he was supposed to kill his own son?” Hughie retorted. “He locked himself in the bathroom, with a bottle of Old Granddad.”

“My alcohol, you mean,” Helena quipped.

“Homelander ain’t really his son, and he knows it,” Butcher pointed out. He seemed tired, to Helena’s eyes. She could hear it in his voice. She also thought he wasn’t giving this news the full weight it deserved. It had clearly shaken Ben, no matter how much Butcher didn’t want to hear of any kind of hang-ups to their mission. 

Before she could say anything about it, Ben finally came out from down the hall. He glanced at them all before he ventured into the kitchen, grabbing a soda from the fridge.

At least it’s not my beer, Helena thought.

“All right, let’s be off then, ey?” Butcher said, hauling on his black trench coat. “We’ll swing by the office and grab some more V. Then Hughie’ll bring us to where the cunts are. And we’ll pop off Noir, then Homelander.”

Helena shot him an incredulous look.

“More V,” she said, gesturing at Hughie. “Really. Because the black sludge coming out of his ear isn’t enough of a warning sign?”

Hughie grimaced, but Butcher gave her a tight, resigned look.

“You know the score, love. We’ve got two more on the list. That means heading to the Tower,” he said. “I’d appreciate it if you stayed here.”

She crossed her arms and gave him a narrowed look. After last night, she thought he would’ve understood her by now. She didn’t want him to go through with all of this, for his own sake, but if he wouldn’t listen to her, then she would at least try to make sure he and Hughie lived through this.

Because if she let him and Hughie go without her now, knowing she could’ve done something to help…then she’d never forgive herself.

“Well, there’s no sneaky way you’re going to get V24. The R&D lab is below ground at Vought Tower, Level 0. Even when I worked there I didn’t have clearance,” Helena said. Though as an idea grew in her mind, she bit her lip, and finally sighed.

“But there’s a way we can go about this without just bulldozing through the front door…I can get you in there from the control room.”

“Not necessary,” Butcher said. His brows drew together as he looked down at her, drawing closer. She met his gaze with a stubbornness he should’ve expected.

“It is if you want to maintain any kind of element of surprise against Black Noir, let alone Homelander,” she said. Butcher’s lips pressed together, but she made it clear, even in her silence, that he wasn’t leaving without her this time.

Butcher crossed his arms and met her stance, just as bullheaded as ever.

“You’re not coming,” he said.

An hour later, Helena was breezing through radio stations, sitting shotgun in Butcher’s car, while Hughie was forced to sit in the back with Ben. They were cruising at full speed down the highway towards New York City.

“Fucking land on something already,” Ben sniped from the backseat. If he heard one more station change from girly pop to heavy metal, he was going to lose his shit.

Helena rolled her eyes and settled on something they could all agree on: John Lennon, “Give Peace a Chance.” She had to stifle a sardonic smile at the irony.

After a while, Ben started to snooze in the back, while Hughie stared out the window. Helena turned to Butcher and asked something she’d been wondering for days now.

“How’d you even get ahold of V24 to begin with?” she asked.

Butcher expelled a sigh, but he was honest, after swiping a hand over his mouth and beard. “Through Maeve. She gave me the tip on Payback, on a weapon that supposedly killed Soldier Boy, the whole thing. She wants that golden cunt dead as much as we do.”

Helena nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense.”

She’d been seeing a lot about Maeve on the news; that supposedly she was in rehab, according to Vought. But Starlight fans were teaming up with Maeve fans on social media, demanding proof that she was actually where Vought said she was.

If what Butcher said was true, then maybe Vought had found out about what Maeve was up to. Maybe they’d decided to take her off the playing field.

Helena shook her head in contemplation. This was it. Homelander, Vought—the entire thing needed to crumble. As much as she hated the plan, she could admit that with Ben on board, there was a shot that it wouldn’t all end in even more blood and misery.

Helena woke after a doze to Butcher climbing back into the driver’s seat. They were stopped at a gas station, for which she assumed he’d filled up the tank. Something wasn’t right though, she thought, as the car started moving.

Ben groaned as he woke up from his long nap, and he noticed the same thing she had.

“Oh, there he is,” Butcher said.

“Where’s the cum guzzler?” Ben asked. Helena rolled her eyes; she could only assume he meant Hughie. It was a valid question though. She turned to Butcher with a frown.

“You were spot on about him. There I was, filling up the motor. I turn around, the little git had done a runner,” Butcher said.

Helena’s face turned incredulous, but the knowing shift in Butcher’s gaze implored her to play along. She hesitated, but then she tried to school her features into something more neutral.

“We needed him to get to Noir,” Ben said in annoyance.

“Ah, don’t you worry about that, guv. I got it all worked out,” said Butcher.

Now Helena knew there was something off here. She’d learned to tell when he was lying, but this time his gaze remained on the road. He glanced into the review mirror to watch Ben contemplating.

After a moment, the supe seemed to accept his words.

“Wake me when we get to New York,” he said, and laid across the entire backseat of the car.

Helena shot Butcher a sharper look. It said she’d want answers later; she knew there was no way Hughie would cut and run, not when they were so close.

Butcher nodded in acceptance. He knew he could fool Soldier Boy, but not Helena. He just had to figure out what he was going to do with Helena when they got to his apartment in the city, because he had no intention of bringing her to Vought Tower.

He glanced at her, but she was suspicious now. She crossed her arms and shook her head at him before she faced the road ahead.

It was a long car ride.

A few hours later, they arrived at the apartment Supe Affairs had been funding for Butcher’s team. There, they took some time to regroup. While Ben raided the fridge, Butcher pulled out a locked box from a large safe in the back room. Helena peered into it incredulously.

“Why do you guys have a giant-ass safe?” she asked. “You could fit a whole body in there. More than one, actually.”

She stepped back when Butcher closed it back up. He tossed her a knowing look.

“Having a lead-lined box comes in handy,” he said. He set down the smaller one he carried on the dining table and unlocked it. Inside were a few more green vials of V24. Helena’s brows raised.

“Huh. You really didn’t need my help,” she remarked. Butcher remained quiet, earning her gaze. “Why’d you let me come here with you then?”

“‘Cause I knew you’d raise hell for me, whatever I did,” he said. It was half-exasperated, but she detected the slightly softer edge behind his eyes. He knew why she was here, why she was insistent on helping him. She wanted him to come out of this in one piece, but not just for herself.

With that heavy thought, she watched him walk away from her to check on Ben in the kitchen. She was left with an open box with a handful of vials left.

The thought of V24 disgusted her…but she knew, if she was going back to Vought Tower, if she was taking any chance of coming face-to-face with Homelander again, she needed to protect herself.

She grabbed a vial and hid it in her jacket pocket.

While Helena took her time refreshing herself in the bathroom, she soon caught the muffled sounds of Butcher and Ben talking.

She carefully opened the door a crack, and she listened. She heard Ben talk about The Soldier Boy Story losing out Best Picture to American in Paris. It had been Vought’s best PR story for Soldier Boy’s background—a poor kid from the streets of South Philly, who discovered he had incredible powers to match his heart of gold.

To no one’s surprise, that story was utter bullshit.

Ben had grown up the son of one of the wealthiest steel moguls in Philadelphia, his father. Ben later got kicked out of boarding school…

“Because I was a fuck up,” Helena was surprised to hear him say. She ventured out of the bathroom and lingered in the hall, so she could spy the back of him while he continued with Butcher. Both of them were drinking. Whiskey, if she had to guess.

“But he made sure I knew it,” Ben said, speaking of his father.

“Use the belt, did he?” Butcher asked.

“Never laid a hand on me. He couldn’t be bothered,” Ben replied. “Said I was a disappointment. Not good enough to carry his name.”

Once again, Helena fought the sap within her that wanted to sympathize. She continued to fight against it, even when he admitted that his father hadn’t even been satisfied when Ben underwent Vought’s experiments and became Soldier Boy.

“He said I took a shortcut,” said Ben. “That a real man wouldn’t have cheated.”

Helena took in a subtle breath. She heard the heaviness in his voice. The resentment, and yet, a thread of resignation. She understood then where it all came from—the bravado. The machismo. The asshole behavior. It all stemmed from that wound inside him that craved validation from his father.

Helena could relate. Her own father was, and had always been impossible to please. She knew what it was like to be a disappointment.

In the living room, Ben swirled the liquor in his drink as he shoved down memories of a life he’d thought he left behind a long time ago.

“What about you, got any kids?” Ben asked.

“It’s complicated,” Butcher admitted.

But even when Ben admitted that he’d wanted kids, that he thought he could do it better than his father, Butcher saw through those threads. He reminded that Homelander wasn’t Ben’s son. Not really. He was raised in a lab to take Ben’s place. And more than that…

“Look mate,” Butcher said. “We had a deal.”

Ben drained the rest of his glass and stood. Suddenly this room felt stiff and oppressive.

“I’m gonna get some air,” he said.

Helena watched him head for the apartment’s balcony. She stepped into the living room and shared a look with Butcher.

“On one hand, you probably abandoned Hughie at some random gas station,” she said. “On the other hand, you’re doing your hardest to keep Ben on your side.”

Butcher shook his head instead of answering her, but she stepped into his path and laid a hand on his chest.

“I think you left Hughie because you wanted to save him from all this, like you probably want to leave me here,” she said. “You’re not the same man who started this whole kamikaze mission. The difference now is, you actually have a line you won’t cross.”

Butcher looked down on her, not knowing what she wanted him to say. Just now though, she didn’t need him to say anything.

She grasped the front of his shirt and pulled herself up to him, meeting his lips with hers. It was slow, but with the underlying passion that had always existed between them, right from the start. His hands migrated down the curve of her waist and held her close, his fingers pressing into her lower back.

When she broke from him and met his heavy eyes, hers were filled with quiet determination. Butcher couldn’t understand it. Part of him even hated it, knowing he was still dragging her down with him here.

“Why are you being so fucking stubborn?” Butcher asked.

Her head tilted as she gave a wry smile. “What do you mean?”

His grip on her waist tightened a little.

“Why’re you staying with me?” he pressed. “Hel, you know where this ends.”

“Billy, I don’t have a death wish,” she told him. She squeezed his arms back. “But I don’t just want you alive for me. Ryan needs you too.”

Butcher shook his head, but she stopped him from withdrawing.

“He don’t need me,” he said. “Fact is, both of you are better off without.”

“Yes, he does. He loves you, Billy. He’ll forgive you if you give it a chance. And like it or not, he’s your responsibility. Because you made a promise,” Helena said firmly, pressing a finger into his chest. Tears welled up in her eyes as she met his furrowed stare. “Be a fucking man. Take care of the people you care about. The people who love you.”

Her voice shook, but her conviction was fierce and steady. Butcher could only look down on her in silence, even though her words rattled him down to his boots.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Both of their heads turned, though their eyes briefly met before Butcher gestured for her to step back while he ventured towards the door. He looked in the peephole first.

His eyes widened. Bloody hell?

He opened the door to find Queen Maeve, looking a bit ragged in an “I <3 New York” t-shirt and some pajama pants that were too big for her. 

“Fuck me,” Butcher said in shock. “I thought you was dead.”

M.M. then quickly stepped into view, making Helena gasp when he pointed his gun directly under Butcher’s chin.

“You didn’t think I knew where the blind spots were, motherfucker?” he said.

 “M.M.!” Helena exclaimed, half in greeting, half in warning. Her face practically begged him not to pull that trigger. The other man’s lips pursed.

“Hey, Hel,” he said, more casually than he looked. Behind him and Maeve were Hughie and Annie, Kimiko and Frenchie. The whole gang was here.

“Back up,” M.M. ordered at Butcher. He obliged him by stepping back into the room, closer to Helena, but still in front of her.

“Where’s Soldier Boy?” Annie asked. Her tone boded no further bullshit.

“You on that Temp. V shit, Butcher? Huh?” M.M. demanded. “What happens if I pull this trigger?”

“M.M., stop!” Helena tried. She stepped forward, but Butcher stopped her with a hand held against her. Hughie likewise grabbed M.M.’s shoulder and imploringly diffused him, at least for the moment.

“If Soldier Boy goes through with this, thousands will die,” Hughie said. “Help us stop him.”

“This ain’t a bloody kinder care we’re on about, son. It’s Vought-fucking-Tower,” Butcher pointed out.

“Becca worked in the Tower,” said Frenchie. Helena shot him a look for that one, as did Butcher. Helena had worked for Vought as well.

“You shut your fucking cake hole, Frenchie,” Butcher shot back.

“No,” Frenchie said. He seemed to gain some confidence in standing his ground. He dropped his backpack to the floor and planted his feet as he glared back at Butcher. “No! My cakehole will remain open! You will never command me again. I am done with your cruelty—”

Helena’s brows raised. Once again, Hughie played the part of peacekeeper as he talked Frenchie down from his (seemingly well-earned) tirade. 

“We, we heard you, okay?” Hughie said. He turned to Butcher and leveled him with an honest truth. “You could’ve let me die from the V, but you saved me… In the shittiest way possible, but still. I don’t think you want to do this. I think you want me to pull you back. Like Lenny used to.”

Helena’s eyes widened. He knows about Lenny?

She looked to Butcher for his reaction…and she missed the way Maeve moved. She grabbed something out of Kimiko’s hand and tossed it out the window, despite Annie’s protests. Then she ripped M.M.’s gun apart.

“Butcher’s right. Homelander needs to die!” Maeve said. “That’s it. Whatever it takes.”

Annie shook her head in disbelief. “I really thought that deep down you were a hero.”

“Well, you were wrong,” Maeve replied. “There’s no such thing.”

“This isn’t going to happen,” Annie refuted. Her eyes glowed, displaying her power as the lights flickered.

Helena’s mouth fell open, even as Butcher subtly stepped in front of her. Was this apartment about to become a battlefield?

“Annie, I don’t want to hurt you,” Maeve said, with caution in her eyes.

“But I will,” said Ben. He finally drew back into the living room. Helena didn’t know how long it had been since he’d stepped back inside, but she could assume he’d been waiting for the right moment. That was apparently right fucking now.

He drew all eyes in the room, including M.M.’s darkened gaze.

“All right, you lot. Into the safe,” said Butcher. Helena shot him an incredulous look.

“Billy,” she tried. He wasn’t able to be so stoic looking down at her, but he was resolute in his decision.

“You too, love,” he said. His hand guided her by the small of her back. When she tried to push back, he grasped her arm with a strong, but not painful hold and shepherded her along with the rest of them into the safe. Except for Ben and Maeve, of course.

Helena met Ben’s gaze, but his unyielding mask was firmly in place. She reached out to Butcher before he closed the door. She knew what he was doing; this was his version of saving her—of keeping her out of this. But she glared at him.

“Billy, don’t do this,” she all but pleaded.

He stared back at her in silent apology. “Goodbye, Helena.”

Then he shut the door, casting them all in darkness.

She was grateful no one could see the way she wiped a tear or two from her cheeks. Butcher had shut off the power, so Annie couldn’t use her abilities to draw from the electricity. What she could do was bulldoze her way through the safe, ramming it over and over with her shoulder until the door burst open, allowing them to escape.

Annie shook off the exertion and took in deep breaths.

“Okay, they got a really big head start, but I know a way in,” she said.

“So do I,” said Helena. The women looked to one another with a tenuous truce.

“Then what?” said M.M., after he turned the power back on. “The way I see it, we’re fucked with no grease. No plan and no knockout gas.”

“Knockout gas? Is that what Maeve threw out the window?” Helena asked.

“Yeah, it’s Novichok,” Hughie explained. “A nerve agent. Literally the only thing the Russians found that can take down Soldier Boy.”

Her eyes widened. “What, it can kill him?”

“No, just put him to sleep, indefinitely,” he replied. She considered that with a frown. She couldn’t believe she was even thinking this, considering all the bullshit he’d pulled on her, but she didn’t know if putting Ben to sleep was something she wanted to see happen to him…

“Well, maybe we can reason with him, assuming he takes down Homelander,” she suggested. “Ben’s a raging asshole, but he’s not totally…”

Her words died on her tongue when she realized how M.M. was looking at her, as if he didn’t know her.

“Ben? Motherfuckin’ Ben?” he said incredulously. “So what were you doing all this time, playing fucking house with America’s oldest killer?”

“M.M., that’s not how it went down,” Hughie tried to jump in on Helena’s behalf, but she crossed her arms and stood firm.

“I was trying to help Butcher and Hughie stay alive,” she said, gesturing pointedly at the younger man. Hughie gave a sheepish look.

“Look, I’m not saying he’s a good man,” she continued, meeting M.M.’s angry gait. “But there’s humanity in Ben. I’ve seen it.”

The man had an ego a mile high and twice and wide, with anger issues and that only barely masked how repressed he was, emotionally. He’d threatened her, and even bruised her…but he hadn’t killed her.

He hadn’t wanted to. He’d walked away before he could actually break her.

It wasn’t a strong vote of confidence for his character, but it was better than Homelander, nonetheless.

“You really think you can change that rat bastard,” M.M. said, breaking her out of her thoughts as he shook his head. “Just like you think you change Butcher!”

“I’m not trying to change anyone!” she raised her voice to meet his. “But I do believe that people can choose to change. To be better.”

Because if there was no hope for that, then there was no hope for herself either.

“Call me an idiot,” she said, and she threw her hands up. “Call me a bitch and a lunatic, I don’t care! I don’t expect you to understand, but I’m going to do what I think is right.”

“Yeah, what’s right for you,” M.M. shot back.

“Maybe,” she snapped. “Maybe it is selfish, and I’m sorry. After Homelander’s dead, I’ll help you with Soldier Boy, whatever I can do. But do you really think Ben is the biggest threat right now? To everyone and anyone?”

M.M. seethed in silence, but he didn’t seem to have an answer for her. Annie, Hughie, Kimiko, and Frenchie—they all stood by Helena and M.M., in both silent contemplation and wariness. 

“Okay, then what’s less selfish?” Helena asked, with gesturing hands at him. “Taking out Soldier Boy for your revenge, or ending the biggest fucking psychopath in the world? Otherwise known as Homelander. Who, if you forgot, was responsible for my best friend’s death.”

That fell between them all, heavier than a stone in a shallow pool. Part of Helena felt guilty for spinning M.M.’s cause as selfish, but she’d made her point. M.M., Butcher, Ben, and even she had a score to settle. It was just a matter of who was willing to sacrifice the most for it.

She wasn’t willing to sacrifice her life for revenge, but she would for the ones she loved.

M.M.’s anger soon lessened, by degrees.

“Okay,” said Hughie. He cut through some of the tension, as he himself let out a breath. “How do we get more Novichok?”

“…We don’t,” M.M. said. “That was the only one.”

After a moment of deliberation, Frenchie chimed in. There was a lab in New York that might just have what he needed. It just happened to be Vought’s R&D lab on Level 0.

It was a crazy plan.

“We’re going to break into Vought Tower, while you go to the lab, crawling with armed guards, and you’re gonna cook up the world’s most dangerous neurotoxin?” M.M. said. Sarcasm and disbelief dripped with every word. “With what, a little moxie and a little Mr. Wizard know-how? While we hold off Homelander and Soldier Boy?”

“Uh…oui?” said Frenchie.

Helena looked over at him with a sharp frown. “Are you fucking high?”

He gave her a smile. “Also oui.”

She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand.

“We’re so screwed,” she muttered. “But we’re also wasting time.”

“It’s good enough for me,” Hughie said, with a smile. Annie met her boyfriend with a smile of her own.

“Me too,” she said.

Kimiko agreed to this ingenious plan more readily than M.M., and even Helena. Even so, they had no other options. They were heading to Vought Tower.

AN: Phew! On to the finale! (And then the Epilogue after that.) I finally finished writing the last chapters of this series, so the next chapter will be out soon: on 2/20.

Next Time:

By the time Helena turned back to the scene before them, Ryan’s eyes were glowing red.

He shot a laser beam right at Soldier Boy, knocking him through the far wall and onto his ass. When he got up, shaking rubble from his shoulders, he clearly wasn’t happy about it.

Fortunately, Helena reached Ryan just as Ben took a few intimidating steps forward.

“Ben, stop!” she shouted. And it actually halted the supe’s steps.

Keep Reading: Part 20

The Boys Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

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[f0point5]

I think it's such an ick when people assume that distance means a strained relationship. It's perfectly healthy to be able to live your life when your partner is not there.

I get that they're already apart a lot, but we don't know their relationship. I actually really loved the idea when I heard that Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton both had their own rooms and beds and sometimes they didn't wanna sleep together and wanted a quiet night alone. That sounded sooo healthy to me. Most people think that just because you're in a relationship with someone you have to want to always be with them at home, and in front of the public.

Just because there aren't pictures of them also doesn't mean that they weren't together at all anyways. People need to get a grip. It's a relationship not a symbiosis.

Iirc Helena BC and Tim Burton actually had neighbouring houses with an interconnecting door (they used to live near my school and people always saw her when we’d take our lunch breaks lol).

I think with Max and Kelly, people have got used to seeing them together so much because she was at so many races last year and the second half of 2022. But for me that even more indicative of the fact that she is probably around more when Max needs to focus “less” at work.

But honestly wags can never win. If they go to every race they’re following their bf for clout. If they don’t follow him enough then “why are you even with him? Are they breaking up?” It’s bizarre. Especially when you think that they’re people with their own friends, families, and lives.

Again, it’s normal to go through periods when you need a bit of space. It’s also normal to go through times when your every move is not accounted for and randoms don’t know how much time you’re spending together/talking to each other while apart.

All evidence points to them having a solid relationship so it’s funny that people want to make the fact that they are spending time with their respective people such a massive thing

[dcmeme]

Batfam Covid series part 1

I figured out how to turn off autocorrect so it types ‘Selina’ and not ‘Selena’ woohoo! Progress! Multiple parts, all longer than usual.

Damian: Why is it everyone has to be within the same household?

Dick: Because it’s quarantine. Meaning you isolate with people you’ve been in contact with already that could have the disease.

Jason: I mean, I’ve gotta agree, this seems a bit blown out of proportion. The symptoms aren’t reading.

Tim: I think it’s more of the spread that’s of concern and those with preexisting health conditions being affected more than anything else-

Bruce: *throws tiny robots on the ground that latches to everyone’s ankles* There.

Jason: HEY! You said I wouldn’t be under house arrest again if I didn’t blow shit up (on purpose) or cause a full body cast for at least 3 weeks!

Bruce: This isn’t house arrest, this is insurance that none of you try to leave and put others at risk of infection.

Damian: That is absurd!

Dick: I gotta say, this feels a little extreme, Bruce.

Tim: Yeah, no. *takes it off*

Jason: How the f*ck?!

Tim: I’m gonna go stay at my boyfriend’s.

Bruce: The last thing you are doing is leaving this house, Tim. Like you said- it’s a major concern for those of preexisting health conditions.

Selina: I helped Alfred switch your and Damian’s old bedrooms so you are a bit more isolated-

Damian: Excuse me?! I don’t want to sleep near Helena’s room. She continues to make sounds.

Bruce: You don’t have a choice. In fact, none of you do. Not until everyone is tested- including anyone you’ve been around the last 12 days.

Dick: So no Kori?

Bruce: Has she been tested?

Dick: I mean she’s been on another planet with Mari for, like, 6 months soooo

Bruce: they’re fine to stay.

Damian: Can John come over?

Bruce: I don’t even let him over when there isn’t a pandemic.

Jason: Can’t I just be under house arrest at a safe house? I don’t care to self isolate- just let me grab a few books and I’m good for dayyys.

Bruce: Absolutely not.

Tim: Ok than let Bernard come over?

Bruce: No.

Tim: But what if he tests.

Bruce: I don’t like that boy being in my house.

Tim: Oh come on. He only broke,like, two or three things in the cave.

Jason: Didn’t that somehow include the giant penny?

Damian: and the window to the Batmobile.

Dick: *sighs* The chair to the batcomputer has squeaked ever since he left that night.

Bruce: My cape.

Alfred: He was rather harsh on the grappling hooks as well, Master Drake-

Tim: I said I loved a man, not a smart one-

Bruce: No Bernard.

Tim: oh come on! Dick gets to bring Kori!

Dick: and my kid.

Tim: Oh come on you barely see her but three times a year.

Dick: I’ve known her seven months and she’s been gone six for some Tamaranian ritual or something humans can’t be at!

Selina: Will all of you stop shouting. If my baby wakes up, I will find a way to make all of you pay.

Bruce: The only person with a second option on where they’re staying is Damian-

Jason: Bull shit!-

Bruce: Talia has asked he go back to the league’s temple since COVID hasn’t likely breeched them yet.

Damian: Can I bring my children?

Bruce: Only the dog.

Damian: than no.

Bruce: you’ll have to take that up with your mother.

Damian: I’ll make this much clear- I would sacrifice each of you individually for the sake of my children-

Tim: you mean your pets?

Damian: they are family in this house, Drake. I can’t say the same for you.

Tim: You really don’t expect me to live next to this brat for literal months, right? He’ll kill me by the end of the week! I’m much safer at my place.

Bruce: As of right now this is all of our place. Stop bickering and get used to the idea of being under the same roof for a while.

Cassandra: It could be fun! We can even have a family dinner after we’re all tested.

Damian: oh joy. Sharing food with the nuisance Drake and the pig that is Todd. Fantastic.

Jason: Don’t you have a mommy to call?

Damian: Don’t you have a casket to sleep in!

Jason: Oh f*ck you!

Bruce: now boys-

Tim: Is this seriously how you expect me to live?!

Cassandra: we can make breakfast for dinner and by then maybe the weather will be nice enough to open windows and set up candles-

Jason: you think you have it bad?! I’m surrounded by the same people who-

Damian: I better not have to sit at that dinner by Drake, Cain, or so help me god-

Bruce: enough!

Tim: For my own safety please god do not do that cass-

Jason: I don’t see why you’re complaining when I’m the one who has to-

Bruce: *louder* enough

Tim: I have a right to feel however I want!

Damian: If that is the case, I feel you should all be disowned-

Dick: why are we all arguing again?!

Damian/Tim/Jason/Bruce: SHUT UP, DICK/GRAYSON

Dick:… what did I do? 🥺

Helena: *screaming from upstairs*

Selina:…

Bruce:…

Everyone:…

Bruce:…we’ll take this outside.

Selina: That would be great, thank you.

[havendance]

Hi! I love your writing and it's always a treat to see what WIPs your working on. As someone who struggles to write longer, more complex fics, I'd love to know more about your writing process if you're open to talking about it.

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoy them!

For me, writing longer fics was definitely something that I had to work up. When I was starting out writing I still got ideas for longer fics, I just struggled to execute them. I've got a few that I know I'm just not going to finish. A few things that really helped me to write longer works are:

1) Getting a regular writing habit. I know this is really common advice, but I needed to build up my writing stamina. I still wouldn't say I'm a super quick writer. Long fics take me time to write, but I know I'm able to commit to writing something longer and am more confident in my ability to successfully keep to a project.

And then like I said at the begining, this was something I had to work up to. I'd been writing fic for years by the time I finally finished my first multi-chapter fic idea. And then, it was only 4 chapters (and they weren't monster sized chapters like Batman for Dummies), but that gave me to confidence to start larger stories.

2) I know that I need to have a plan for a story if I want it to succeed. I need to know how it'll end. I've got a fic that's going to stay unfinished with 4 out 5 chapters because I just didn't know how to end it and I've since moved on from the fandom. I don't need to have everything figured out, but for me, knowing the conclusion is important. For example, in Batman for Dummies, I knew from the beginning (okay well, once I'd finished reading No Man's Land and started doing serious planning beyond, 'uh, idk they team up, this will totally be a one shot') that I wanted to end with Tim and Helena on New Years Eve and Tim saying 'you could keep being the Bat, if you want to' and Helena saying. And a lot of stuff changed by the time I got there! But having that destination in mind helped me.

In general, for really short fics, I don't really do much planning at all, I just go because I can hold the whole shape of it in my head. For one-shots I'll plan it out scene by scene and then write. For multi-chapter fics, I try to have the major beats and shape of the plot laid out. And then, as I write each chapter, I'll break things down further. Often when I'm writing, things emerge and change and then I'll go back to my overall outline and update it. Personally, I can't break down a whole long fic in-depth before I start writing. I've got to do it in increments. So my first outlines are typically really detailed for the first bits and then vaguer as they go on.

Most of the longer fics I've finished so far have had a limited number of chapters which means that I've gone in with a strong opinion on where those chapter breaks needed to go. With Batman for Dummies, I knew I wanted 4 chapters that roughly corresponded to the four seasons and also it fit nicely with the fact that I'd read No Man's Land in four volumes. The other longer fic I've completed for Batman recently, The King is Dead, Long Live the King, was also one where I had a very clear idea on how many chapters it needed. It was conceived in three parts, and while I briefly entertained the idea of breaking it into two chapters, I knew it wouldn't work that way.

So far, I have yet to succeed in writing a fic that needs more than a handful of chapters. (I tried nanowrimo a couple times and I started cowriting an epic for the Owl House with my bro.) In those cases, a lot of the time, I broke down plot beats in a more episodic manner and then broke those up into chapters. Almost like mini-arcs. Most of the time, I've just run out of steam before I can make it all the way through (for the fic I was co-writing with my bro, we both got writers block at the same time and never came back), but some day I believe I'll succeed! (Some day I will return to Knightfall once I get the big beats and arcs for that fic laid out.)

I think the final piece of advice I would have is don't be afraid to jump around between projects. Whenever I got to the end of a chapter of Batman for Dummies, I was always like 'man, I need to do something else' because they were long and it took a lot out of me. Jumping between projects gives me time to get out of the funk that I can get into when I spend a lot of time and energy on one idea and then I can come back and get all re-enthused when I come back around to it.

And of course, this might not work for you, but hopefully there's something in here that can help you as you try and write longer things! I wish you luck! I'm still working away at that journey myself :)

[matan4il]

You have such great insights about Eddie Diaz and his parents! I was watching another show where a man was telling his young son that he needed to be the man of the house while he was away because his mother was struggling with depression. The shows a couple decades old, and the spirit of this interaction was not intended to be toxic and was portrayed as “sweet.” On the same show, one of the female characters was telling her daughter that if something happened to her, she would have to take care of her father. But no child, male or female, should have that idea put in their head, even if it is meant to be symbolic (because let’s face it, a child’s not going to suddenly learn to drive before their time or start paying bills!). Very few, if any, children under 17 have the emotional intelligence or capacity to shoulder an adult’s burden, no matter how “mature” they might seem. I think Ramon’s behavior is indicative of a pattern of parenting that was just sadly common in the 90s, and still might be in some families. But good on him for trying to correct it. It is Helena’s turn right now, I know we’ve had limited screen time of her, but she epitomizes toxic femininity IMHO

Hi Nonnie! Oh, thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate them SO much! And I’m so happy you like my views on Eddie. They’re just my own, and people like @gatergirl add their own invaluable insights, so I’m really grateful to everyone talking to me about our fave boys! ^u^

I’m wondering whether you wouldn’t mind telling me which show it is? I’m just so curious if I might have come across it. On the one hand, it sounds familiar. On the other hand, you’re right and it was a very common mentality in older TV show, films and books, just this idea that a kid stepping in for an absent parent is a wonderfully mature step. I think the movie Finding Neverland does a decent job at deconstructing that idea and pointing out that the moment a kid actually has to do that, they have something stolen from them for good. A piece of childhood and of innocence that they will never get back, a sense of security, of being protected by their parents, that’s gone forever. And now I’m thinking of little Eddie forced into that position (and in a different way, Buck as well, since without an actual parent, and Maddie only being able to step in to a degree, he also kinda had to become a bit of his own parent) and my heart breaks all over again.

I’ve not heard the term “toxic femininity” before, but I think we can all instinctively get what it means, and I agree with you so much. It would explain so much about Eddie’s mother, for example it would be a part of why she was giving Shannon a hard time, ‘coz Shannon was “failing” her “duties” as a wife and mother in Helena’s eyes. And then without that feminine mother figure there, Helena wouldn’t be able to conceive how her son would be able to raise Christopher on his own, let alone do it well. Which also fits with why in 315, it very much felt like she was the one leading the Diaz parents’ charge on their son and the pressure to hand over Chris. This POV really makes me wanna see some insights and a breakthrough on Helena’s part even more.

Thank you so much for sharing your own thought about Eddie with us, lovely Nonnie! Hope you have a good day! And as always, here is my ask tag! xoxox)

[dark-flamin-new-light]

Why I thought I lost my friends

"This story involves betrayal, hardships, turning on one another, and almost losing hope, and acting before thinking."

"It began after multiple worlds has started combining with ours, after the love infection I've made a lot of friends, but during this story, even if you think you're alone, even if you didn't get along with others, even if you're trying to do something right while someone else says it's a bad idea and you go against them, somebody is watching your back"

Tarius: I need to go save my friend, he would've done the same for me.

Taria: No! It's too dangerous!

Tarius: I don't care.

Tatsumaki: Only the strong survive, your friend might not have a chance.

Tarius: ! How dare you! He was there for me through my ups and downs! I'm not going to leave him! You're either with me or against me!

"They are in their fighting stances"

Tarius: I knew it. I can't trust you no more. I'm leaving.

"Supreme Kai of Time tried to stop me but I walked by her"

Tarius: Let me pass.

Tatsumaki: I knew he was a softie.

Tarius: Shut up little girl!

Tatsumaki: I'm not a little girl!

Tarius: You quickly reacting to that just proves my point.

Pyra: Think about what you're doing!

Mythra: You're not yourself!

Pandoria: You need to calm down!

Tarius: You all are taking TARIA'S SIDE!? I'M DONE!

Emily Dyer: Wait!

"Some people were upset I left but I'm not going to leave my friend in danger"

Tarius: Some friends they are. I thought I could trust them, I thought we were on good terms.

"3 days later I be arrived at the castle but before I was able to go in"

Crystal: Enough's ENOUGH Tarius, you're getting in, you need to think this through!

Tarius: Outta my way!

"Supreme Kai of Time came up behind me and hit me with a sneak attack leaving me unconscious."

SKoT: This is for your own good Tarius.

"A week later they locked me up disabled my powers somehow, with only one way out, my friend's scream of pain engulfed the land with his loud sound."

Tarius: JOE! Let me out NOW!

Toko: You i-idiot you need to think it through, you could be running into a trap!

Byakuya: You should learn to trust your friends around you.

Tarius: You don't understand… you'll NEVER understand… he's my best friend, he's done a lot for me… I can't… I won't just leave him… and nobody is going to stand in my way!

"My pupils turn purple showing my Dark Angel Form is taking control of me and I bust out of the house first running away"

Emma Woods: Tarius!

Crystal: What happened?

Emma Woods: Tarius broke out… his anger got the best of him, now he's Dark Angel… and he ran off…

Sonia: It's hard to sense his dark power.

TJFira: We'll find him…

"In another area in the distance I'm standing off a cliff looking at the castle where my friend is being held, until I started being electrocuted."

Pandoria: Stop right there mister!

Tarius: Get off of me!

Pandoria: You need to know what you are getting yourself into!

Tarius: He's important to me!

Pandoria: So are we!

"Again….. I was captured but they also took away my Dark Angel Form"

Komaru: Please calm down Tarius.

Sucrose: I'm sure your friend will be ok.

SKoT: You can't just barge in.

Helena Adams: They're bound to be traps.

Futaba: What would your father think of you running in head first?

"I lost my sanity hearing this"

Tarius: Leave… My… Father… OUT OF THIS!!!

Taria: !!!

"I have only one thing to lose now… I broke free from my glass prison, damaging my right arm and leg in the process, causing me to bleed, everyone was in shock I did that. They all thought I was insane."

Tarius: I don't even know you all anymore! Stay out of my way! You're not going to stop me from saving my friend!

Taria: !

Crystal: !

Sonia: !

TJFira: !

Aoi: !

Ren: !

Anne: !

Pyra: !

"After I said that, they got angry so I got to a different place looking out at the castle."

Tarius: I can do this with or without them. But without my powers, it won't be easy. Curse them for taking away my powers. They don't understand how much my friend means to me.

Mythra: That's as far as you go Tarius!

Ruby Rose: Don't take another step!

"Once again as I was about to jump down I got attacked again… my blood trail led them to me, but since I was already bleeding I lost more, since they attacked my wounded areas, I lost consciousness. I fell off the cliff, right before I fell into the water I saw, Aoi, Pyra and Tatsumaki. Aoi got a hold of me before I fell into the water. As I was brought back up to the surface."

Tarius: If you all are against me, why did you save me? You should have left me to die.

"Aoi slaps me"

Aoi: Your anger got the best of you. We were trying to help you.

Tarius: I don't believe you.

Genocide Jill: Of course you don't, I can guess how many times you would've tried and died! *Laughs*

"I walk another way"

Tarius: If he can't live… I shouldn't either…

"Aoi stops me and hugs me"

Aoi: You won't get far either way with your injuries. Please just listen to what we have to say.

Tarius: Alright. Don't make me regret it.

Aoi: First? Let's patch that up for you. Mikan?

Mikan: Bandage wrap.

"Mikan did patch up my injuries and I slowly did accept they were helping me. I was too arrogant to see."

Aoi: We can go in together, we need you to distract the traps while Chihiro disables them.

Tarius: Not the best idea.

Aoi: ???

Tarius: Because one of you took away my powers so I'm unable to do that.

"Minerva gives me my powers back"

Minerva: There you go my little Saiyan.

Weiss: You were saying?

Tarius: Ok I'm ready.

"Of course Aoi's plan went smoothly and we saved my friend. Like I said before, there's always somebody looking out for you, even if you make them angry."

Aoi: *Kisses Tarius*

Chihiro: *Hugs Tarius*

"Because they may have been trying to help you from the beginning."

[catohphm]

Happy holidays, Cato!

A holiday prompt for you!: Snowball fight!

[ellie-e-marcovitz ☺️]

Hi @ellie-e-marcovitz! Thanks for the prompt! It's been a few days but I managed to pull something together! I ended going an extra mile and worked it into a nice light-hearted story set in my friend and mutual @ariparri's wonderful Cardverse AU! This fic is set during Cato's childhood in the AU. It's been a fun time brainstorming and writing out this short story, so I hope all you guys enjoy it! 😊

Helena, Jacob, Olivia, and Alessandro Durazzo belong to another mutual and friend of mine, @helenadurazzo.

Snowballs Across the Stream

Back in a simpler time, the Ace and Jack of Clubs were only just youngsters. Growing up in the upper class of the kingdom, they enjoyed their childhoods with little to no cares. Cato and Helena grew up together. They went to the same school and visited each other's houses with their parents.

One winter, Cato's mother and father, Reilly and Freddie, went away to attend the annual Passion Ball in the Kingdom of Hearts. They dropped off their sons, Cato and Alex, at the Durazzos' home before catching their train. Olivia and Alessandro Durazzo, Helena's parents, were longtime family friends of the Reeses. They were trusted to look after Cato and Alex while their mum and dad were away.

The morning after his parents departed, Cato sat at the Durazzos' dinner table, eating breakfast with them. Jacob and Alex had woken up and eaten early to hunt for the family's supper later in the day. Cato glanced up from his meal and frowned.

"What's the matter sweetie?" Olivia spoke up "You look sad."

"I asked Mum and Dad if I could go to the ball with them. They said no." Cato answered in a melancholic tone.

"I'm sure the ball would've been very fun for you, Cato. But mum and dad are adults. They're allowed to go away and have fun once in a while." Olivia explained. 

"Yeah. They told me that before they left. I have a hard time cause…" Cato paused for a second "I miss my mom and dad.'

Olivia nodded understandingly "I know it's hard. Me and Alessandro miss our kids when we have to be somewhere."

"That's right. We have to go to work everyday but that doesn't mean we love our Helena and Jacob any less." Alessandro added.

Helena, who was sitting beside Cato, looked at him and laid her hand on his shoulder. She nodded "We'll have fun together, Cato." He smiled and felt better.

"I have known your mum before you and Helena were born, sweetheart." Olivia told Cato. "We're part of your family too. Me, Alessandro and Helena."

"You're always welcome in our home, Cato. If you want to come over, just let your mum and dad know. Of course, we come to see you sometimes too."

Cato was happy. "It's much better here with you all."

After breakfast was over, Olivia pointed towards the window.

"The weather's clear and it's piled up with snow." She commented. 

Alessandro chuckled "Perhaps enough for a couple snowballs?"

An idea flew into his wife. "How about a snowball fight, Cato and Helena?" 

"Sure!" He said. "I can find a spot in the woods where we can play." Helena offered.

"Please don't forget to dress warmly, and be careful. It's cold out there!" Olivia told her daughter and Cato in a worried tone. "Actually, I'm giving both of you only 15 minutes before I come and get you both before one of you freezes. Is that okay?"

Both of the kids nodded and left the table to get ready.

Now layered up, Helena led Cato through the grounds of her parents' property looking for a place for them to throw snowballs. In a couple minutes, she found a small running stream in the woods with piles of snow. "We can throw snowballs here!" she said in an eager tone.

"I'll be set up across the stream." Cato said.

"Please don't run, Cato." Helena replied. 

Walking briskly, he took a moment to psych himself up before leaping across the water. "I'm good! You ready Helena?" 

"Ready when you are, Cato! You get the first throw!" She hollered back.

In a makeshift game of tennis, the kids were exchanging snowballs at each other, the stream taking the place of the net. The only thing different was that a hit, instead of a dodge, was a score.

Cato and Helena's game lasted around 10 minutes. The person who scored the most hits once the match was over won. They were both skilled at snowball fighting. When she landed her fourth snowball on Cato, he was knocked to the ground.

Helena jumped the stream and went to check if her best friend was alright. "You okay, Cato?"

He grinned and gave her a thumbs up. "I sure am. Just got knocked down, that's all." She was glad to hear this.

Olivia came up to the stream calling their names. "That's fifteen minutes! Time's up kids!"

"That's my mum!" Helena helped Cato up. She led him over the stream where they met Olivia. 

"I hope you both had fun. Who won?" She asked.

"I got him four times." Helena replied. "Three points on my side." Cato added. 

"So that makes Helena the winner." Olivia hugged her daughter. "Congratulations, dear!"

Their hug lasted for only two seconds before Helena turned to Cato and gave him a hug too. "You still did really good, Cato!" 

"It's okay to lose, sweetheart." Olivia chimed.

Cato replied "I'm just glad the snowball fight was fun!" Helena felt the same. "Me too."

"How about we go back inside and get warm, kids? I've got hot chocolate and cookies baking." Olivia said.

As they went with her, she and Helena whispered. Helena then told Cato "Since I won the game, my mum wants you to taste the cookies for her." He laughed "I'd be glad to!"

Olivia remarked "That sounds great! Let's go in and get comfy." Cato and Helena together shouted "Yeah!"

The three walked back to the Durazzo house, their arms huddled together for warmth.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

hi helena!! 2, 14, and 25 for the end of year ask game?

Hi Blue!! Thanks for the ask!

2. Album of the year?

My number one has to be Unreal Unearth by Hozier. It was by far my most anticipated release for this year, and it did NOT disappoint. His lyricism has always been beautiful and this album was no exception, and the use of Dante's circles of Hell as a way of giving the album a narrative structure was so creative and really enhanced the listening experience. When it first dropped I literally didn't listen to anything else for a solid week - I only hope it can sustain me through the inevitable lack of new Hozier music we're about to suffer from for the next few years

14. Favourite book you've read this year?

I've actually answered this one here BUT in case the 4 books I've already broken the rules gushing about aren't enough I'm gonna give a shout-out to The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell. O'Farrell's prose is soooo wonderful, and I already knew I'd love this book after I read Hamnet, which was brilliant, but The Marriage Portrait might be my new favourite book by her! She writes historical fiction so well, and I loved the use of multiple timelines to tell Lucrezia's story. It was such a wonderful book, and I really hope she continues to write more like this.

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

I've created a few new characters this year, and I love them all so much! Diana Fayed was my new SAS Rogue Heroes OC, and I've also been writing a House of The Dragon fic for most of 2023 that has featured a few new OCs, but I think I'll talk about my newest Band of Brothers OC; Faye Warren.

Faye is a really interesting character to me because I really enjoy the way that writing about her allows me to delve deeper into ideas about gender during the 1940s. My previous OCs have definitely all dealt with this to some extent, but Faye's probably the character that confronts this in the most head-on way. Her ambition and nature often lead to her conflicting with ideas of how women are 'supposed' to behave, and this causes a sense of internal conflict that I think a lot of women experience - the idea that, as women, we want to break free of the restrictions the patriarchy places on us, but it brings with it a lingering fear that, in doing this, we make ourselves unlovable and isolated within our society. Delving into that with Faye is a lot of fun and I can't wait to do more with her.

[kandadiff]

Dark Side of the Sun 1

~

Since 1980 MTV had played music videos for up and coming artists and while they veered off of that and into reality shows. Slowly but surely, they were going back to music. Thats were the newly built girl group of funhouse sat.

The interviewer of INTO THE MUSIC Helena Cheryl sat rather stiffly on the chair as the rest of us sat on the two couches in front of her. The studio was hot, though it did not seem to bother the studio audience at all. Each person had already picked their favorite in the group, the people scattered with various shirts, scarves and signs with our names or faces. They cheered when their favorite spoke making us giggle or laugh under the hot studio laughs.

We had seemed to gather a certain likability which would make our manager, Thomas, happy. Since the fight at the Sweet trauma concert after party that was greatly exaggerated by the press we were quickly labeled the bad girls club of girl groups. Which had a appeal to certain people but not enough to be successful yet and we had a lot riding on this interview. So far so good.

We were nearing the end of the interview when Helena directed a question from Draven to me. "Well Kay, I have to ask." She said "I know that it was a rocky start to bring these ladies together, but how are you and Damien? Is he upset that you will not be in Sweet Trauma anymore? And how do you respond to the fans reaction that you will be leaving the group?"

I had known this was coming. Since Kassie had outed me to Damien - things went from strained to worse. Normally Damien and I split time between my apartment and his house but since that night we only saw each other in public - for public. Both of our managers saying for now it would be better to stay happy in the public's eye. Xavier was against it citing 'if she wants to leave the group then she leaves him.' Robin did stick up for me saying 'its good to be supportive right now.' Ultimately Damien decided to publicly embrace me but privately we barely spoke to each other. The fans were brutal as well - I got messages I was ruining the group, I was going to fade into nonexistence, that I was just trying to get attention because I haven't done much acting yesterday or that I was a slut who deserved to die. Even as we prepared for our first album it was met with a lot of slack directed at all of you as well.

"Damien has been nothing but supportive- the whole group in fact has been nothing but incredibly supportive and kind." I lied - half lied, Robin and Austin were supportive. "As for the fans, This is just a new chapter in my life and I still love the band but I just want to explore different genres. I hope they can support me in this as well. They supported when I stepped away from the group to act so I hope they can support me in this as well."

"I SUPPORT YOU GIRL!" Someone shouted from the group making the group erupt in giggles. I smiled at the crowd though with the bright lights I was unable to find the person.

"I hope so too." She feigned a frown. She didn't mean it - maybe she was one of those faceless profiles that tweeted I should jump off a bridge too. Her crisp gray eyes turned to you "I have a question from our audience about you." You smiled at her. "Is this a reaction because you and Edward can no longer be a duet? Given the situation." She looked up from her card to you clearly enjoying stirring the pot.

You and Edward were public in your relationship - or at least you were. After the release of Always on Time, a scandal rocked your relationship. You were visiting your father in Hawaii while Edward stayed home. He claimed it was William's idea to go to the bar - there he got very drunk and was photographed with his tongue down some influencers throat and his hand glued to her ass. The photos were blurry but you knew it was him and so did his brothers very fanatic fans - who were quick to prove it after it was speculated to be Harry cheating on Kitty. But no it was you that was left humiliated in Hawaii while your father chimed in his unwanted opinion.

'Be professional. be professional.' My voice chimed in your head as you sighed thinking of an answer. You knew this woman was enjoying it, the clips that would come from this answer and make this little show get more popular just from your relationship status. Fucking Edward. "This is because like, Kay I want to explore different options. Ed does a certain thing and I want to be more then that so... Why not do that with a group?" You gave her a fake smile that matched her own.

~

"She was a right cunt, huh?" Draven said as we were lead out the studio and back to the house we all now shared up in the Hollywood hills. "She was enjoying making us uncomfortable. and bringing up Ed like that?" She shook her head and she lit up a cigarette offering everyone one before throwing it back on the coffee table "Fucking bitch." Various makeup artists and dressers filed into the house setting up here and there.

We had exactly 4 hours to get ready for the MTV music awards. unfortunately for us, since Kassie outed me we were forced to do everything in sort of a rush. We moved in together, started writing and recording songs and filmed two music videos in 3 months. We were set to preform our first song together as a group towards the end of the awards as well as being nominated with our previous groups or duos.

At first I didn't even want to go but Thomas explained having a big duet like this would be nothing short of amazing and it wouldn't hurt to make more connections. As solo artist we had a few songs that put us on the map but it wouldn't hurt to have more connections, according to him.

~

~

“You look handsome.” I said walking out of the room fully dressed any ready for the night. Damien’s ice blue eyes looked over me coldly before his hands settled on the vodka Katya kept on the bar. He finished the shot he poured himself then poured another. All the while ignoring me.

“Listen I know your still upset but it’s been months Damien. I thought you’d be happy for me! You know I wanted to do other things!” I said as he threw back another shot then poured himself another. I attempted to grab the bottle but he gripped it harder and not wanting to get the liquid on either of us I gave up. “Can you not drink so much? I’d rather you not make a fool out of yourself or anyone else there. You’re nominated for a lot - no need for people to see you stumble like an idiot on stage.” He took another shot and poured yet another.

“I’ll need this to get threw the night with you.” He chuckled to himself. “Makes you more tolerable and I’m forced to be in this lie with you so” he gave me a hard smile “cheers, Hurricane!” He downed another and I grit my teeth.

“Let’s go!” Thomas called from the front door. “Now! Come on!”

Damien stood up swaying a bit. He jerked back when I tried to steady him. “I’m fine.” He said moving past me to the limo waiting outside. I spied Robin from the door and he shook his head. Robin had offered to take me to the awards show to avoid this exact thing. Damien was becoming more and more clear in his distain for this arrangement and I did not need that coming out now. I gave him a small smile and moved to get my purse.

His eyes settled on you, you quickly packing your purse. Since we were so busy and this Edward situation hit you by surprise you didn’t really have time to look for a suitable replacement for the awards show. Xavier asked to be your date and you agreed. After all, he was hot - was a rock star and you’d be lying if you didn’t say he was your favorite in Damien’s group. Besides Robin but he didn’t ask you and you weren’t going approach him first.

“Ready?” Xavier asked as you approached him. “God, you really are gorgeous.” You blushed and started to the limo. Xavier quickly followed his hand possessively on your arm. Pulling you back before you can get into the limo. “Just know, I heard that asshole is going to be there. If he tries any of that dumb shit just say the word and I’ll handle him.” You looked at him puzzled. What did he mean? Was he going to beat him? You heard rumors about Xavier from me and Damien but never saw him get violent for yourself. Though after a show one day you saw his knuckles were bloodied when he lit your cigarette and when you asked about it all he said was ‘don’t worry about it.’

~

The ride to the awards show was uneventful but as soon as we got there Damien and I went to move out of the limo first.

“Are you to drunk to walk it?” I asked bitterly. He rolled his eyes.

“No, darling,” his tone dropped in sarcasm. “I am ready to play the lying game. Not as good as you though.”

“Damien.” Robin’s deep voice rang through the limo as a warning. Tatiana giggled.

“It’s fine.” I said trying to calm myself down. I plastered on a smile as we moved out the car. Flashes of light, once disorienting was routine now. Damien took my hand in his and with smiles we walked down the carpet.

You were third to leave the limo and of course the first person you see was Edward as though it was planned. He stood smiling with his brother, talking to some man with a big microphone thrown into there faces.

“Maybe you should just go inside?” Robin whispered as he helped Draven out of the car. He had agreed to take Draven, though the Australian was completely uninterested in him romantically and he seemed the same about her. “Don’t give theses people any of the drama they want.”

But as he said that Ed’s green eyes locked with yours. His long hair combed back and his tattoos visible as he shifted his body towards you. He wanted the drama because he wanted you to speak to him. After you refused just telling him your done and then blocking him. You hated the small smirk that overcame his lips and then the cameras pointed at you.

“Adi! Adi! Over here! ARE YOU TWO SEPERATED? How do you feel that he cheated ? Ed where is your date?!” Was the things you heard shouted at you.

[prettyboybuckley]

Fuck it Friday

tagged by @swiftiediaz 💕 Sooooo since I finished the sequel to my high on you fic, I figured I'd give you all a little something to tide you over until I manage to edit the thing and it's ready for posting. The "fuck it" part is how long of a snippet you're getting lol 🥰

He lets himself into the house with his key and immediately hears the raised voices coming from the kitchen, only slightly muffled by the closed door. For a moment, Buck stands frozen in place, picking up bits and pieces of the conversation.

Ramon's voice raises above it all, but Eddie's is close behind in volume, Helena only coming in here and there. He closes the front door quietly, tiptoeing up the stairs and cringing when he forgets about the creaky step two-thirds of the way up.

Sophia's door is closed as well and he knocks before entering anyway. She isn't wearing her headphones like he expected but from the look on her face, he can see that she isn't enjoying what is going on downstairs. 

"Hey," he says, toeing off his sneakers and dropping down next to her on the bed, forcing Sophia to scoot over and make space for him. "Everything okay?"

"They've been going at it for ages now," she replies with a sigh, resting her head against the wall before tilting it to look at him. "I was there at first, but I left when it kind of... escalated."

As often as he is here, over the past few years Buck has witnessed the occasional altercation between one of the siblings and their parents or between the siblings themselves. This is definitely one of the more intense kind.

"What's it about?"

She shrugs. 

"Something about putting in more effort to build a future or something. They aren't happy he still hasn't found a job, which is bullshit because he's been trying and we all know that he's perfectly capable. Those recruiters are just bullshit," she says. 

"That doesn't sounds like something they'd get into such a screaming match over."

Sophia chuckles humorlessly, shaking her head, and she rubs a hand down her face. 

"No, no it's not. Mom said something about a wife and kids or something, and Eddie kind of dropped a bomb."

Buck's heartbeat immediately starts rising, and he hopes that he isn't too obvious when he asks: "What kind of bomb?"

"Apparently he's been dating some guy," Sophia replies. "I don't know, he was pretty vague about it, but as much as I think it was to rile them up, I'm pretty sure it's true."

"Didn't think your parents would make such a big deal out of something like that."

Sure, the Diazes are Catholics, and especially Ramon is a little old-fashioned, but they never behaved any differently after finding out about Buck's bisexuality. Helena had even asked if his parents knew and said that if it ever became a problem, he would always be welcome. 

Buck knew that Eddie wasn't out to his family, of course, but it always felt like that was rather because he didn't see the point than that he was actively hiding. 

"I don't think it's about him being gay - or bi, I guess?" Sophia muses. "I mean, you know how much mom wants grandkids, but... I don't know, I think it was more the heat of the moment that made it a problem, and the idea that he's been hiding it all this time?"

Honesty is important in the Diaz household, Buck knows that much. Always has been. The "why didn't you tell us sooner" question would have been asked regardless of the situation, and this was not the optimal scenario.

"How do you feel about it?" he asks, tone careful because he isn't sure what to expect. 

Another shrug from Sophia. "I mean, he's my big brother. Drives me crazy sometimes, but I love him. Doesn't matter much if he dates a guy or a girl, I just want him to be happy."

Downstairs a door slams, followed by the front door, and they both flinch. The rumbling sound of Eddie's car starting in the driveway makes it all the way up to Sophia's room and Buck holds his breath as they listen to it drive away. 

The doors slam another time, and Buck has a feeling that it's Ramon leaving this time. 

tagging @holdmygum @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @buddierights @elvensorceress @princessfbi @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @brassm @alyxmastershipper