#you guys should see some of it in the watcher tag it's crazy. people are pointing at randos just bc they're already annoyed

[sergle]

I love to hear what people say about Youtube Drama* but it's SO tacky when it gets so offbase that the posts people make start to be about completely off topic infighting within the Watcher fanbase

[harringrovetrashrat]

Your tags on the 'Tired of masterbating. I want to be loved.' Thing are amazing, I love them!

Thank yooooou!!!

@cockasinthebird enjoyed them too and prompted me to start on a lil something, so here’s a quick lil preview of what I’ve started.

Steve stared at the message on the screen, paused as he rewatched his live stream. Read the words once, twice, heart beating in his chest.

I’m tired of masterbating. I want to be loved. From GuiltyAsCharged, a username he recognized. A regular watcher and paying patron. Never did many comments, though on some of Steve’s filthiest videos he’d leave these emoticons that should have been dumb, but always had Steve hot under the collar. They were so sparse, it was just nice--

But that wasn’t the point. Point was, GuiltyAsCharged had some shit going on. Steve bit his lip as he pulled up his DMs, quickly typing in the guy’s username. His fingers hovered over the keys as he stared, lips pursed. He’d done it before. Talked to people who left concerning comments. It was kind of a thing for him, being very serious about mental health. Open as well. But something felt different about this time. There was something in Steve’s gut that said sending this message was going to change something, shift the waves, so to speak.

He typed out his message, and hit send.

--

Billy woke up, head pounding to the beat of his upstairs neighbors bass. He groaned, pulling a pillow over his head to muffle what could, as well as block out the sun. Billy lay there, feeling sorry for himself. His head hurt, his body hurt, his mouth tasted like shit--

Billy jerked upright, hissing in pain at the sudden light and movement. He held his pounding head in his hands, groaning even louder.

Billy had been drunk, so so so drunk, after going out with Tommy and he’d gotten home horny. Had pulled up his favorite camboy, DoeEyedKing, and gotten to it. He was hosting a live stream at the time, fucking himself open on dildo, going painfully slow. Billy had pulled out his already half hard cock and stroked, teasing the underside of the head with his thumb. He stroked in time with Doe Eye’s thrusts, breath speeding up as he jerked. Teeth scraped against his lips as his hips began to jerk up, eyes glued to the screen.

“Fuck,” Doy Eyes breathed. “I feel so full. It’s fucking amazing.” He moaned, loud and wanton, and Billy had to squeeze the base of his dick with a hiss. “God, it feels so good,” he whined. “The only way this would be better is if it was one of you. So I could feel you cum deep inside me before plugging me up.” He smirked, tongue running over his top teeth teasingly and as a challenge. This was why Billy liked him so much. He looked like a soft little pastel twink, and he definitely played that up, but the guy was nasty, bratty and cocky too. He hit all of Billy’s buttons, leaving him sweaty and gasping as he nearly stripped his cock, no longer finessing his movements, too close to the edge to care.

“Sh-Shit,” Billy hissed, hips jerking as he came, spilling into his fist as he pumped and pumped, until it hurt. He lay back, breathing hard through his mouth, heart sinking into the ground.

Billy stared at the ceiling, wishing that he wasn’t left with a sticky hand and no one next to him once again. It was what he’d been denying lately, tried to drink away tonight. The horrible, crushing feeling, that he was such an asshole, he was going to die alone. Blue eyes watered as he wiped his hand on his sweater and sat up, moving to shut his laptop when something Doe Eyes said caught his attention.

“Wow, I feel incredible, holy shit,” he panted, bright blue y-fronts stained with cum and lube. “What about you guys?” There were the usual horny for you, baby’s and wishing i was there’s, and Billy just felt compelled. Was so drunk, he felt like the best idea was to write his immediate feelings. After hitting send, he noticed he’d made a spelling mistake and had also made the weirdest comment in the fucking world.

Doe Eyes was not only hot as shit, nasty and exactly Billy’s type, he was a sweetheart. He blocked people who were being assholes, was always polite when he turned down a kink that he wasn’t into, and was always grateful and thankful, no matter what kind of scene his video was. Billy was kind of, maybe really, infatuated with him. He seemed almost too good to be true, but he was also so crazy sincere, Billy couldn’t find it in himself to doubt him.

And now he’d made a creepy, weird comment and was gonna end up blocked in the morning. He’d closed his laptop and decided to sleep at that point, forgetting until the morning what an ass he’d made of himself.

“I’m a goddamn idiot,” he rasped, voice low and husky from dehydration. He stood, stumbling to the kitchen in his small one bedroom apartment. He got some water, downing it, before pouring another glass. He sipped this one, popping some tylenol while he was at it. Billy chewed on his lip between sips, fiddling with his phone. Maybe he could apologize before Doe Eyes even saw it. Do some saving face. Try and not get himself blocked from the one person who got his dick up lately.

Billy opened his phone and felt his heart stop when he saw he had a DM from the man himself. His thoughts raced, all of them bad, and it was with a shaky thumb that he clicked, opening the message. Billy blinked when he read it.

DoeEyedKing: Hey, hope you’re doing okay, man! If you’re going through it, know that I’m rooting for you!

Billy restarted the app, just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Kira Vol 2 (3)

The Mistress

CHAPTER 3: Is This Jealousy

Loki x fem!Reader (Kira)

Series: A new chapter begins in Kira’s life. Old secrets, new confessions, surprising allies and unexpected meetings. All of them have one name in common. Loki.

Chapter content: soft feels

Warnings: a teeny weenie bit of jealousy

Word count: my cousin is awesome. She is such a pure soul and I am so protective of her that I will beat the hell out of anyone who tries to hurt my little- but tall- baby.

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

The bubble of slumber has barely found Loki when a ripple of scream shreds every ounce of peace this house knows. The silence of the autumn suddenly sounds like a Hallow's Eve blood bath when Loki's body dashes towards the source of the voice. He does not even think for a second, his body already charging itself towards the stone-y path, his son outrunning him on his fours to come to a skidding halt at the foot of her bed. "Kira," he calls out with a contrasting tone compared to the rigorous beating of his heart.

But she does not hear. Her eyes are wide open, looking at the window in her room while her cries wear her lungs out. All she screeches are the words 'no' and 'stop' repeatedly while looking at the empty space. What disturbs Loki, even more, is that she is numb to the blood oozing out from where the needles were once sticking into her are ripping her skin apart. The duvet that covers her is being used as a shield against whatever she is afraid of while the blood smears the fabric with a new hue wherever it comes in touch with it. There is fear in his eyes for what he plans to do, but the fear of watching her writhing in pain like this far outranks it. And so he takes the first lunge by sitting down next to her and slowly taking her trembling hand into his. She yelps and jolts away from his cold touch. "It's me. Kira, look," he calls out to her while switching on the bed lamp close to him, "It's Loki." Her shivering figure cowering away from him takes its time to hear his voice while he patiently waits by the edge. He knows he has to let her come to him. Or he might lose her again. And it would already be one too many times. "Loki?" She has no idea what her frail voice does to that man's being. He can feel an electric current drive from his head to toe and all he can do is sit there nodding his head. "Yes, I'm here." That man has barely finished his sentence to breathe when he feels heated arms being thrown around his torso while her head wants to hide in his chest. "There's someone out there. There's someone out there, Loki." Silence. What is he supposed to feel right now? The otherwordly elation on the touch of her arms, whose heat seeps through the soft cotton and is absorbed by his thirst-ridden skin? Or should he feel sad for the suffering that does not seem to leave her even when she heals? In the swift moment, his rational brain scolds itself for having not having any intelligible actions ready like it usually does; for being useful during the one time it should be working at one hundred per cent capacity. "Please," a whimper comes from his chest, "make it stop." Like a flip of a switch in a cornered animal, Loki's pupils go wide while his arms come around her back with a life of their own. The cold palms hold the sweaty shirt on either side, making a barrier around her. "Come here," he whispers, pulling her closer to him, letting her rest her head in the dip of his shoulder while his body seeks all the unnecessary heat from her untethered figure. "Nothing can hurt you, I promise. Okay? No one can hurt you. I'm here." The wails dilute to sobs under the rhythmic soft pats of Loki's palm on her head in between soothing strokes through her hair. "I'm here." The sobs reduce to loud inhales and exhales, trying to find the resting point of her lungs. The patting continues into the dead of the night when unexpected rain showers wash away whatever bad lurks in the beautiful dark night outside, making her eyelids heavy and her body heavier on Loki's chest. Finding the strength inside him, Loki takes her head in his palm and carefully drags her down the bed to let her head rest on the pillow. The tightened nerves inside him relax when they hear her light snores, convincing him she is finally asleep. It is not easy to drag himself away from that angelic face resting so tranquilly but he puts his foot down on the floor- ready to let her rest- only to find a strong tug on his shirt by her fisted hand, pulling that loosely woven pure threadwork closer towards herself with wrinkles in between her brows. "Kira."  That man is now suddenly a little boy standing outside the study of his father, from where a mellow golden light flows out into a river at the end of which he stands with a unicorn in his tiny hands, his green eyes twinkling with the dance of both shadows and light as he tries to look inside through whatever space the barely open door allows him. Little Loki witnesses his father carry his brother in his arms, telling him stories of kings and princes that conquered lands and brought peace by defeating all evil; narrating his love for the golden boy and boasting to the air in that room how he will be the next man to take care of the empire that his father built for him. Outside, the raven-haired boy stands patiently before turning away to walk through the endless corridors to his room where the nanny is already waiting for him anxiously. "Loki! Where were you? Now is not the time to sneak out." The little one does not bother explaining for he goes straight to bed under his covers, his eyes towards the ceiling to look at the stars put up on there by the servants for his musings. "Mother says stars walk alone," Loki stated out of nowhere for the nanny to hear as she tucks him into the bed, "because they burn bright for everyone. She also says I am a star. A really bright one." "Of course you are," the woman smiles at him while wondering where this talk was coming from. "I don't think she knows that I know stars can burn whatever comes near to them. It is not even practical to be a star without dying a cold death." Margeret has to gasp. "Relax Margeret. It is the work of gases. You would not understand." And saying that, he turns to face the other way. "I don't want to be a star," he mumbles, wishing upon those bogus stars a wish that crumbles with every passing breath in his life till there remains no evidence of these ashes that were ultimately tagged as hollow hopes. Hopes that seem to be reborn without so much as a warning when Loki finds himself lying down next to her and she- without even a conscious effort- pulls herself upon his arm, burying her head in his chest, facing away from the world. A jolt of shiver runs through her body, immediately bringing Loki's arm over her shoulder, overworking his already imbalanced heart. But the calm finds him in her presence just as it finds her in his arms. The night outside, fresh out from nature's bath feels the need to notice its presence not acknowledged by the two souls that used to let their demons roam in her robe. Now, those very souls rest them in each other's arms, devoid of the exhaustion that once haunted them in their loneliness.

"Okay, I'm already putting this out there so no judgments are made later on...I just learned how to drive. You don't get to say how bad I am. If you are scared to sit next to me hold on to your seat. If the car stops in the middle of the road do not rush me, I know I am bad with shifting gears and the accelerator right now. Oh, and at no time will you offer to drive instead. Okay?" Loki's eyes take in your body on alert in the driver's seat of your dad's borrowed Suzuki. You adjust the rearview mirror and look at the controls, mumbling some things to yourself before double-checking the seat belt and starting the engine. He cannot help but stare at your elation with heart eyes when the car starts without any trouble. What churns up the lights inside him is that crazy giggling smile stuck on your face.  "I'm driving a car," you squeak at a really low volume while your neck disappears and your shoulders go up in tender excitement. By the Norns, who made her this cute, he truly has to wonder without realising a goofy smile has invited itself on his lips and has been sitting there even for Heimdall to see outside the gate when you exit. "That good a breakfast, huh?" He teases his boss, who is quick to hide any evidence of joy on his face. Sadly the master strategist and deceiver can't hide it from his eyes. "Did you get all the work done," Loki does not even move his brow when talking to the Watcher. "I had a nice breakfast too, thanks for asking," he is quick to acknowledge that cold stare, "and yes it's done. So, where are you guys headed?" You scoff, raising your hands from the steering wheel. "At least act surprised to see me driving even if you know it already." Heimdall chuckles. "I'm taking Loki to show around my town. Wanna c-" "Oh good, Lord!" Loki blurts out of nowhere, making you jump where you sit, "turn the car, Kira! There's a cat about to walk under it!" "What?" "Turn it out of the driveway!" "But-" "Let's go! Before it tries to climb the wheel!" You are hastily shifting the gear to drive. "They do that?" "Now! Now!"

This is his first time. And he still cannot believe it is happening. Well, shame on me for thinking only Odin had the finest colonial lands. Trees line up both sides of the roads that are cleaner than the supposedly progressive concrete jungle that you two left behind for a while. The patience all the drivers have on the road with their cars in a smooth drive is really impressing the man, besides putting him at ease considering his heart has taken the wheel. There are people out and about on the sidewalks. And there are people exploiting the cycling tracks to get their blood pumping in this cold weather. Kindergarten kids, school kids, college kids- there are clusters of them coming and going; some sad to leave their parents, while others are running and skipping towards theirs. This city is coloured in every hue imaginable even in the coldest of days. And unlike the iron world, he sits atop, this one seems like it takes out time to look around. The car is parked in a spot right outside a local city museum and unlike you, someone notices the line of expensive rides next to yours while their owners are huddled together over one with beer cans and cigarettes. Every one of the five men standing on the other corner wear brands that equal your one month's salary. "Let's start with this place," you bring Loki out of the calculating trance he is in since the second he laid eyes on the men that has been staring this way, "so we can get out and enjoy something much better if you get bored of this place." Loki smiles at you and makes it a point to walk towards your side to place his hand on your back, mellifluously ask, "shall we?" and walk away with you with the energy that marks the five feet around you as a zone not to be stepped in.

Well, it is hard to get bored of your face no matter how long he looks at it because he is certain he has memorised every little scar on it till he watches you fascinated by the medieval art displays. Your eyes have the deepest ocean of y/e/c ever seen that goes shallow for that black endless void that widens on seeing something that curates to its curiosity. Your lips. Damn those lips that have been blessed by the Gods themselves. They turn and pout in question, are tormented by the teeth when something does not sit right and are touch in a peculiar fashion by your fingers that Loki forgets he has to breathe at one point. He envies the fallen eyelash that sits on your cheek; envies that it gets to touch you and be prayed upon for a wish or desire while he stands to praise nature's work from a distance. But he does not let that bother him for he cannot recall any other time when he has been this content with his life.

"Point at anything in here and you will love it." "Really?" "Mm-hmm. They are really good at everything they make." "Oh...that's-wait. Is this the place that serves that pasta you keep comparing to everyone else's?" Your face is already breaking into the smile and Loki's heart cannot help but whisper 'stop' while running a marathon. "Yup." "Okay, so I'll have a-" "Kira?" Loki turns around before you to see who recognizes you and if it is a threat. "Henry?" The marathon comes to a pause for there is a little prick that is felt right in the chest. You recognise this man with a decent scruff, wide eyes and a bubbly smile. He has already been read head to toe by Loki. He does not seem like a threat. "Hey!" greets Henry before swooping you in his arms and giving one tight hug which leads to your alleged date to grind his teeth. How dare he. "How are you?" "I'm good. What about you?" You don't have to ask him that. He looks fine for someone who just got up from his sleep and drove here. "Fantastic now that we meet." Right. As if you were miserable before. "Where are you these days?! I've met CJ and Kat but never you." "She's with me," Loki declares. And that is when you notice the shift in the energy around you. "Henry, this is my boss, Loki. Loki, this is my school friend, Henry." You watch as Henry brings his hand forward for Loki. "Nice to meet you, man." Loki reciprocates but you can tell by that sharp cut of his jaw that something bothers him even though he isn't being vocal about it like he usually is. "Wait-" Henry's narrowed eyes are already telling Loki something he is tired of hearing- "Loki as in Loki the guy from Sun Corp. The Loki who went missing for two years before-" "So I heard from Kat you're opening a rest-" you try to divert the conversation. "Yes," Loki affirms much to your surprise, "that very Loki." And a smile. "Damn," Henry whispers. "Well, I'll leave you to it then. And you two are invited to my restaurant's soft launch today. Kat will give you the deets and you have to bring Loki." "Oh." You are a little dazed by the incomprehensible smoothness of this conversation. "Uhh..." You feel the brush of Loki's arm with yours when he closes the distance with the two of you. "We will be there," he concludes with his smiling eyes while you are wondering all the reasons you could be feeling this sudden gush of warmth in your cheeks. Nothing escapes Henry's eyes and that bubbly smile. You two have never been close which is why you are wondering why this guy is so excited to meet you. It hits you after a few seconds that the reason you were noticed might not have been because of you but your company. You are still thinking about it when you and Loki settle down in the corner seat looking out the bakery shop. "You don't have to go if you don't want to," you stress, reaching out for the bill in Loki's hand that he has already paid for. But that sly man is already pulling the receipt away from your grip. "I'll go if you go. And considering you are a textbook people-pleaser around your friends, you will be going tonight." All he reflects for your slightly unhinged and offended jaw is his smirk that has a tendency to stir something up inside your gut. "Correct me if I'm wrong." "I am not a textbook people plea-" "You went out to visit Kat even when your leg wasn't healed because she said you had not met her in a while." You scoff. "W-It was true! I hadn't met her in a while and I-" "And because CJ said she was mad at you because you hadn't answered her texts and calls." You do open your mouth to contradict but nothing comes out except a defeated sigh. "You could have told her about your health." Loki tilts his head and melting eyes that have their full attention on you. And you are feeling the goosebumps all over your body from that dedicated stare. Did he always look at me that way? The sensible voice in your head clears her throat and wonders...He could look that way to anyone. But your inner voice is already dancing. Look at the face, woman. Drown me in shallow waters if he isn't head over heels for you. "I...have used my health as an excuse for multiple occasions so I don't think it'll cut for them anymore." There is a slight crinkle in between his brows that does not seem to get as much attention as his tongue that darts out to wet his lips. Why is that even legal? Your inner voice is angry while it involuntarily purrs. "It is your health, Kira. I am pretty sure your friend will understand. Would you not rather that your friends tell you they are not fine instead of hearing about it when it all gets worse someday?" You turn your toes to internally curse yourself on realising he has a point; a very good one. "I'll talk to her," you agree and thank the waiter who brings you your lemon and mint iced tea and Loki's cold brew. "Okay," you sing with crackling judgment humming in your voice as your eyes are stuck on Loki's dark drink, "since when are you into coffee? I haven't been gone that long." "My existence will disagree," he mutters without so much of a thought as he lets his lips touch the straw in great anticipation while his eyes look up at the blank bump of an expression stuck on your face.  Heart thumping to the beats of embarrassment, your brain shuts down, pulls away the glass of cold brew and pushes your iced tea towards him. "Just have the tea, you monster." You try really hard to keep up that frown on your face while your insides want to come out and confirm the words he just said. "Me? A monster?" If you did not know any better, Loki would seem flabbergasted right this second. You narrow your eyes and let sarcasm drip just from your expression. "I have seen you murder your employees without even having to raise a weapon when you aren't in a good mood. Trust your assistant, Mr Loki, coffee is not your friend." "Are you sure?" He narrows his eyes at you and crinkles his nose. "Do you see anyone else being worried about you?" you direct at the surrounding with your hand. There is a tilt of his head and crossed arms come to rest on the table. "So, you are worried about me?" Your eyes pause any movement to stare into his for a moment so long he can feel his soul bare in front of you. "Someone has to..." He is left numb with that look on your face. "Because I am too tired to find another job." Numb from the heart attack he just had till he feels his senses coming back to let him wack in the back of his head and let him know how he got played. What is better than those microscopic jolts of relief he is feeling on your skin is your wide-toothed laughter then nearly pinches your eyes close. Whoever is watching him right now can without a strain of doubt point out at the man in love, looking at his life shine brighter than anyone in the room while he pauses all that he is doing- even breathing- to look at you like it is his first and last time doing so. Whoever is watching him is suddenly craving for a longing look like that; whoever is watching you envies what you can do to that beautiful man putting a good number of insecure humans to shame. "Oh my Gosh-" you suddenly break out of your laugh with a sudden realisation- "I almost forgot about him." Loki, the stoic-as-ever man- who is nearly bending over the table ready to dissolve- furrows his brows at the thought of you remembering someone other than him! "Who?" he asks with a surly taste in his mouth. "Fenrir! How is he?" "Oh." You are somewhat puzzled at that flawless face going from a simmering stare of potential judgment to an innocuous reflection of understanding. "He is as fine as he can be," he shrugs and scratches something on the nape of his neck, making your eyes dart at the bit of exposed skin under the maroon that is royally screwing up with your head with pictures you do not want to be imagining in public right now. "So, he is being a bitch," you summarise for him. He nods in agreement, bringing back his hand and leaving that exposed microscopic yards of his shoulder and neck to be devoured by your stare so hard even the devil would blush. And unbeknownst to you, the devil hath blushed multiple times. "I think he misses his roommate," Loki throws the statement nonchalantly, pulling your iced-tea back to him. "Aw," you squeak a little putting your face in your palms and glittering eyes, "I miss him too." "Then get back to work, Miss Kira," Loki's flat and stern tone softly plays on his tongue, "you have had more than enough of vacation time." "Excuse me?" "What." "I got my bones broken for my company." Loki shrugs and sips your tea. "I nearly died for mine. Big deal." "Wow," you exhale. "Fine. I need a raise." "Okay." "..." "What."

"Just like that?" "You nearly died for the company. The company wants to thank you for your unwavering loyalty." You don't really know what to say next. You never planned this far, thanks to your impulse. That is till the socialist in you finds a silver lining. "Cool," you tilt your head in your palms, "then you can cut my salary for a few more vacation days." Concluding it with a wink. And Loki feels his insides sigh. Never in a million years could he have imagined a soft face like hers would hold the ultimate power to melt his insides like this.

Nature watches again. Through the windows and winds that enter at the opening and closing of the door. Two souls more than just content in their hearts to be in the presence of the unexplainable they thought they lacked. That little boy inside Loki is sitting at that table looking at you with all the innocence and love he can feel in his little heart; all that he wants to give to you. Little Loki knows who the star is and what it is like to be in its presence. And he would not have it any other way. The bakery plays a lofi mix of Just Want To Be The One You Love as these two closeted lovers bickered and enjoyed their much deserved time together, never knowing the company far away clicking pictures of their private time together before disappearing into the crowds and cars on the road outside.

[awkbo0b]

Two of a Kind:2

A/N: Thanks for everyone who is reading and thank you for the notes! I havent been active on tumblr for a while but being able to come on here and post an idea I have for a fanfic and having people actually like it warms my heart.

Summary of the first part: Mae is visiting her cousin, Tony, in Outer Banks and little does Mae know, she just ran into JJ! Here’s there link for Two of a Kind:1 if you havent read it yet.

Warnings: underage drinking, usage of drugs, swearing

~~

I join Tony who is now with a group of girls near the fire. “Hey! Hope I didn’t miss much of the party.” I mention as I take a drink of my beer. The girls all smile at me and begin to introduce themselves. I didn’t bother remembering their names since I probably won’t see them again after tonight. The conversation drifts about boys that they go to school with, who they all have crushes on, and some of their plans for the summer. I turn to look at the water to notice that some people have gone swimming. I smile to myself thinking about how beautiful it is here. 

“And Mae here is an unique artist,” my attention is pulled when I hear Tony mention my name, “ she is able to turn anything into a complex drawing. It’s truly amazing.”

I smile, “Honestly though, you should see Tony’s photos.” I try to turn to conversation away from me. As much as I love my art, talking about it isn’t something I enjoy. “She normally does landscapes like her parents, but if you put a model in front of of her,” I puff my cheeks and let out a whistle, “it’s breath taking what she can do.” as I compliment Tony I notice her tuck her hair behind her ear. “No need to act bashful T!” I exclaim. Tony raises her nose a little higher, showing her confidence. “If you haven’t seen her work yet, you are really missing out.” I finish off my beer.

“Tony, I knew you painted but how come you never mentioned photography?” The girl standing on the other side of Tony ask, she has pin straight, black hair, and is wearing glasses that look like they are from the 20′s fashion era. I glance at Tony already knowing what she is going to say.

“Well I mean, my parents both are photographers. They capture such unique angles in landscapes. And it kinda feels weird to follow in their foot steps that closely. Look at Mae,” Tony throws her arm in my direction, “her parents are sculptors and she paints and draws. Different medias.” Tony’s word slur together as she speaks.

The girl with black hair give Tony assuring smile that she understands, “I get it, girl.” Her words also slurring together then pulling Tony in for a hug. The sudden wave of emotion fills the small circle.

“Well, before I join in on the touchy feeling stuff, I’m going to grab another beer.” I inform once Tony pulls away.

“I think I better give myself a minute.” Tony hiccups and then raises her bottle, “Once I’m finish with this one of course.” The girls around us giggle and Tony does too.

“Alright dude, I’ll be back.” I make my way towards the coolers. I notice a group of people sitting on a log near the water. A small lantern is lit. I notice blondie and three others, two boys and a girl. As I continue to watch, being the creepy people watcher that I am, I begin to see that they are passing around a joint or blunt. Whatever it is, they are smoking weed.

Once I reach the coolers I come up with an idea. I grab two bottles instead of one and then turn towards blondie and his group. They are all talking and laughing at things that are said as I approach. Blondie, who is sitting on the end, shoots his head up first, then the girl who i can now see has longer curly hair. She offers a friendly smile.

“Hey, you don’t look familiar, Are you a tourist?” The girl ask, then the other two boys look in my direction too. Just as I am about to introduce myself blondie cuts in.

“She’s rude, that’s what she is,” Blondie has a playful smirk on his face. I laugh at the comment.

“I guess I’m technically a tourist, but I wouldn’t consider myself rude.” I wink towards blondie as he take a hit from the blunt, causing him to cough.

“Whoa dude, you’re coughing? who even are you?” says one of the boys as he laughs taking the blunt from blondie and takes a hit. He is wearing an unbutton shirt with a bandanna tied loosely around his neck. His hair has intense volume that would make any girl jealous.

“Shut the fuck up, just inhaled wrong.” blondie mutters still trying to catch his breathe. “And even if you are somehow not rude,” blondie’s voice still strained from the coughing but is now talking normal, “what brings you over here?” He questions me. The blunt continues down the row of friends, ending with the guy with dark chocolate skin.

“Was wondering if I could take a couple hits with you?” my voice ends with a little squeak, a littler nervous as to how blondie will react. All three friends are looking back and forth between us. I let out a small laugh. “I brought a truce,” I hold out the extra bottle of beer towards blondie.

“Hmm,” blondie pulls his hand up to cup his chin to appear as if he is really thinking hard on this one. I bite my lip starting to feel a little awkward. “Mae was your name right?” Blondie takes the bottle from my hand and pants the empty spot next to him,

“Yes, yes it is blondie.” I sit down and the friend from the end passes the blunt to me.

“For the love of god,” blondie places his elbows down on his thighs, shakes his head then looks my way, “please call me JJ.” JJ winks as I take my hit from the blunt.

“JJ it is then.” I try to say in a flirty tone. Everyone laughs and then begins to introduce themselves. I try my hardest to remember these names, because deep down I would want to see them again.

~

We finished the blunt, the boy with the crazy hair, who i think is John B, claimed he could roll the next one. Kie, the girl, and Pope, the one with chocolate brown skin, laugh at John B as he struggles.

“Come on man. I can do this shit with my eyes closed.” JJ moans throwing his hands up in the air. Another round of laughter roars from us. I remembering that I came here with Tony, who was at her drinking limit when I last saw her about  forty-five minutes ago. I look towards the bonfire to see her white dress almost glowing from the moon light. She is dancing with her group of girls, clearly have a good time. “How do you know the misfit kook?” JJ’s voice startles me, even though it was only loud enough for me to hear.

“What do you mean misfit? She seems to be fitting in fine to me.” I look towards JJ genuinely confused as to what he was meaning.

“She moved here two years ago, most of us have been here our whole lives. The kook life style is passed down from generation to generation. People who move here with kids, don’t normally end up fitting in.” JJ explained.

“I feel like I am a perfect example of that.” Kie raises her hand. “I’ve lived here for a while but never seemed to fit in, so here I am with the pogues. Plus the kook life style is too much for me.” Kie scrunches her face in disgust. I nod taking in what both of them are saying. 

“She’s my cousin, and my best friend. And I guess I’m kinda getting at what you guys are saying, but we might need to go over it again when I’m sober.” I let out a laugh, and so does everyone else.

“I like this girl.” Pope says.

“Isn’t your family some kind of artist?” John B ask.

“How would you even know, dude.” JJ sneered, earning himself the middle finger from John B.

“I think I remember Sarah mentioned it, dick head.” John responds.

“Actually yes, we are. It kinda runs through the family.” I state.

“Oh yeah, your family is the Clemonds right?” Kie ask almost jumping off the log, “my dad has some of Sadie Clemonds photos in our restaurant!”

“Yep, that’s the family name.” I give Kie a smile.

“Hold up, your whole family is just filled with artist?” JJ ask not believing it.

“Yeah, in some way, shape, or form.” I giggle.

“You’re parents are Chloe and Trenton right?” Kie is now standing she is so excited.

“Yes ma’am,” I answer.

“I would love to see their work sometime”

“I can help arrange that,” I raise my hand to give Kie knuckles.

~

A/N Hey guys thanks again for all the notes on the first part! I am adding in my author notes for the 3rd part as you read this! I guess this is a good time to say that there will be a slow burn between Mae and JJ. So I hope you all stick around long enough to see it! I’ll be adding a tag #TwoOfAKind to this one so it will be easier to find it.

This might be a little odd but if you guys have any questions about my characters ask them and i can go into more detail about it in the net part! Also if you have any request for something to happen I’m all ears!

Thanks again for reading and for all the notes, 3 part should be up soon. Please continue to like/reblog. Love you all! 

UPDATE: I HAVE MOVED THIS FANFIC TO WATTPAD, HERE IS THIS LINK! LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU FOR TE NOTES!

[cherryeol04]

300 Follower Special!

As you can see, I have hit 300 followers! Now that you’re all here, you’re trapped and can never leave!!! Muwahahahaa😈

So as promised, I have a garbage fire of a fic I wrote for this. It’s like...legit garbage so I hope you all enjoy! 💖💖💖💖💖

A/n: Not beta read or edited

Warning: Sim deaths

Jisung was an avid YouTube watcher, mostly focusing on documentaries about animals and space. Simple videos that captured his attention long enough to let him unwind from whatever hectic day he had. So it wasn't unusual for him to just have YouTube running in the background while he worked or did other things. He liked the background noise it provided and with his knowledge (though somewhat limited) of English, he didn't need subtitles in Korean.

The YouTube algorithm was a bit of a mystery, however, and was constantly surprising him with videos that he had no interest in, nor did he understand how they wound up playing. But somehow learning about how a Cheetah chirps instead of roars somehow placed him down a rabbit hole, only to bring him out on the other side to Sim videos.

He wasn't exactly a stranger to The Sims, having seen Sims 3 commercials many times when he was a kid. Even some search results when he was exploring the gaming tags. They were pretty popular. But he never actually watched any of them before. Why would he want to watch someone play a simulation game of life when he lived a fucking crazy life already? It was like he was a Sims. At any given moment someone could burn down the house by making a salad - a sad but very plausible scenario.

So when he heard the introduction of the YouTuber, welcoming people back to their channel and what they were playing for the day, he quickly switched to the tab with all intent to stop the video and find something else. Yet, as his hand hovered over the back button, he took a quick glance at the title of the video and stopped.

I make Minho of Stray Kids Murder his Group Members

It was interesting. He certainly had never come across a gaming video that involved Stray Kids, and certainly not as violent as this title made it out to be. He was intrigued really, so he let the video continue to play.

"So today I decided we were going to have Minho of Stray kids murder all of his members." You grinned evilly as you pulled up your game. "As you guys know I recently downloaded some pretty cool Stray Kids sims off the gallery and placed them in my world to play within my Not so Berry challenge. But I thought it would be super fun if we put them all in one house together and just have one of the members kill the rest."

Jisung was a little confused about this idea. You were clearly a fan of them, so why would you want to hurt them like this? You didn't appear to be an anti, and you were bashing them for anything like most antis would. You just wanted to murder them? It was weird, and he couldn't really understand the appeal to this. Regardless, he continued to watch the video.

"So I had you all vote on Twitter between all the members, no context given and Minho won with a surprising amount of votes." You giggled, the sounds of your finger tapping on your mouse as you worked through create-a-sim echoing through the earbuds Jisung was wearing. There was a small jump cut and suddenly the game was starting, the virtual members wandering through the house and going about their lives. The house itself was a nice build and Jisung found himself wanting to play the game for some reason. There was just something about watching you maneuver the controls and explain your plan for their murders that intrigued him so much.

"Oh! We found Felix. Look at him. He said today he was going to be a good boy and go practice like Chan wanted him to. And Minho is like, nope, not today sweetheart." You laughed as you told Minho to electrocute Felix. "Oooh, sorry mate. Looks like you've been eliminated." You paused and looked directly into the camera. "It's been two years, but it still stings the heart. I'm sorry Felix, I love you!" You made a finger heart at the camera before looking back to the game, watching as the Grim Reaper appeared to take Felix's soul away.

"One down, seven to go."

Even though it was a video game, it was both morbid and funny. Somehow, Jisung found himself enjoying the video, even laughing along at the funny little puns you would make before killing off another sim.

"You know, I really wish there was a mod that would kill your sim if they stayed awake too long. The perfect way for Chan to go. I guess, for now, I'll just set him on fire." You shrugged, snickering as you once more had Minho kill another member - this time Chan. "Apparently being in 3racha was just a little too hot - a little too spicy for him." You shook your head, rubbing your temples lightly. "Sometimes I can't even take the terrible jokes I make. How do I have 100,000 subscribers?" You questioned, not really expecting an answer. You continued on with your game, going around and killing every last member until Minho stood in the middle of the vacant house, letting out the evilest laugh he could make.

"And that my friends, is why you should know all 3 of his cats' names, their coloring, their personalities and what they last had for dinner. Don't upset the evil cat dad." You rolled into your closing speech, thanking everyone for watching and to tune in next time before the video ended. A new video popped up for auto-play and Jisung was tempted to let it play, but glancing at the time, he realized he really couldn't afford another 20-minute video. He stopped it and made sure to subscribe to your channel before closing his laptop and putting it away in his bag as he got ready to leave for the studio.

He was honestly looking forward to having more free time so he could explore your channel and see if you had other videos of Stray Kids in the sims or in any other games. Your personality was very funny and it drew him in. Even if there wasn't any more Stray Kids videos, he would still probably binge-watch all your videos, you were just that interesting.

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (13) Resisting

And Marinette had thought Highschool had been hard. Right now, in this moment, she’d give anything to go back to those petty arguments and gossip fueled drama. 

But she couldn’t. Instead, she and Adrien were trapped here, being punished, humiliated, tortured, for being heroes, all broadcasted for the world to see. At least she and her kitty were in this together. For now. Whump!Fic

Ao3 | FF.net

Sorry this chapter is a day late. Busy weekend.

I thought I was going back to torture, but I have more I want to tell during this time stretch. Later in this fic, I anticipate there will be a few back to back chapters of torture. Since I won’t always show them from the watcher’s point of view.

—

Alya and Nino returned to school. It was nearing lunch time, but everyone was still in class, allowing Rena Rouge and Carapace to slip into their respective bathrooms undetected.

“Hey pretty girl,” said Trixx sympathetically, “how you doing?”

“I…I’m not great.”

“That’s okay.” The little fox said, nuzzling her cheek. “It’s okay to be upset, especially in this situation. But you’ve got me, Nino, Wayzz, and the parents.”

Alya smiled a little at that. “Thanks Trixx. It’s nice to have encouragement in my pocket.”

The bell rang, indicating that lunch was starting and students would be coming out soon. The fox grinned back and then swooped into his hiding place.

Nino was waiting for her outside, and held out his hand as she approached.

She worried her lip, “hey um…I’m…I’m not sure if I’m up to going to class. After all that…”

“I think we should.” Nino said simply. “Our classmates know what’s happening, and they know how close we are. I think it’s best if we’re around a group of people that can support us, rather than be alone in Adrien’s room.”

She thought about it for a moment, and then agreed. “I’ll give it a shot.”

“Let’s see if we can find a group to tag along with to lunch, huh?”

Coming back into the courtyard, they noticed plenty of schoolmates milling around and chatting. Upper classmen, lower classmen, other classes, they were all just together in the courtyard. But the aura was rather somber.

In one such circle were several students, including Kim, Mylene, Rose, and Juleka (unfortunately, the most gullible group in the class) gathered around a bench.

“Hey guys,” said Nino, approaching. Though his voice stopped when realized someone else was talking.

Lila.

“Of course, the FBI even came to talk to me! All the way from the U.S.! Since I am Ladybug’s best friend, I would be a large target. They thought that maybe Salo would try to use me against them. But as Rena Rouge, I would be able to defend myself. I’m actually stronger than Ladybug and Chat Noir, but that power is exhausting, so I have to just be an auxiliary member.”

Nino cleared his throat, and the group parted like the red sea, revealing Lila who looked smug and not the least bit stricken. Despite what they knew she saw yesterday.

“You guys aren’t actually believing this garbage, are you?” Nino asked with malice.

It’s exactly what Alya was thinking, but she was overcome with so much rage, she wasn’t able to articulate any sentences.

“Well…” began Mylene. “No one knows who Rena Rouge is…”

“It’s not her.” Said Alya, shaking.

“How do you know?” Asked Kim. “Ladybug and Chat Noir don’t know each other’s identities, so maybe whoever gave them their Miraculous also gave Lila one.”

Alya tightened her fist. “I talked to Ladybug about this. Only the Ladybug and Black Cat where given by…the Guardian. Ladybug has dealt all the others. And I’m 100% certain she didn’t give it to you.”

“What’s your proof?” Asked Kim, challenging her.

“What’s hers!?” Alya shrieked. “She admitted to lying about Marinette taking those photos! Why are any of you giving her the time of day?!”

Lila had that faux look of concern on her face. “Why Alya, you mean you didn’t know?”

“…know what?” Alya asked, with her heart in her shoes.

“Marinette’s not really Ladybug. And Adrien isn’t Chat Noir. The stream is a performance piece. I thought, surely you would know! I know the director and he told me all about—“

The next second, Lila was on the ground, again, her nose bleeding like a fountain.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” Alya seethed. “You bitch.”

People were backing away from the two quickly, eyes to the sky.

“Alya!” Lila cried out. “You need to calm down! It’s not that big of a deal!”

“You’re…a piece…of shit.” Alya managed out between her grit teeth and heavy sobs. “It is a big deal! I don’t know if you live in some sort of fantasy or delusion, but you will not drag everyone else into it! Marinette and Adrien, Ladybug and Chat Noir, are in hell, being tortured on live stream and you have—you have the gaul to make it about you! You disgust me! I can’t believe I ever listened to you!”

“Alya!!” Nino shouted, startling her.

But it wasn’t enough warning. A long forgotten chill ran down her spine and purple light covered her vision.

“So, we meet again, Miss Cesaire.” Hawkmoth’s voice was thick with concern, and false comfort.

“No!” Alya shouted, gripping her head. “Leave me alone! I won’t—I won’t listen to you! I—I can’t! They need me!”

“They certainly do. And I’m going to help you save them.”

“I will never work with you! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!”

The butterfly flew out of the fox pendant around her neck, and flapped around in the air innocently. It waited a moment, and then departed from wince it came.

Alya fell to her knees, sobbing. Nino was at her side instantly, holding her and trying to stay calm himself, though he was boiling inside.

No one spoke for a moment, but all were eager to hear who would speak up.

Lila recovered first. “Look Alya. I’m really sorry. I know it’s hard to find out that your friendship with someone...isn’t as mutual as you thought. Maybe Marinette just didn’t tell you. I know her and I don’t see eye to eye after I caught her stalking Adrien, but I swear this all isn’t as horrible as it seems.”

“That’s enough,” a sharp voice spoke.

A young woman, a fellow student, stepped into the group. Usually one to keep her head down, but never one to back away from the fight. And Lila sure looked like the enemy here.

Kagami Tsurugi crossed her arms and stared Lila down with a scowl. “Can’t you see you’re hurting them?”

Lila twitched her eyebrow at the appearance of this new foe. “I don’t know what you mean! Alya’s thinking the worst, but it really is a performance piece. A prank, really.”

“I meant, you’re not just hurting those two, but Adrien and Marinette.”

Lila scoffed. “I just thought everyone deserved the truth!”

“They do!” Kagami barked. “And you’re not giving it to them!”

“I swear I am!”

“Then swear to Mr. Agreste!” Kagami spat. “He called my mother this morning to cancel a meeting, and he was extremely upset. Of course he has no idea where Adrien is, and he’s beside himself!”

“Oh, Mr. Agreste didn’t know about it? I’ll make sure to let him know.”

Kagami barked out a laugh. “You’re really trying to say that Mr. Agreste didn’t know about an activity that Adrien was participating in? One on such a national scale? Yeah right.”

“M-maybe the director forgot to mention it?”

Kagami rolled her eyes. “You’re pathetic. Not only do you refuse to admit to your failures, you refuse to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you. I thought you were in love with Adrien.”

“I-I-I am! We’re dating! Look!” She took out her phone, where the picture of her kissing Adrien on the cheek shone as her wallpaper.

“You already used that against me.” Kagami said blankly, “that photo is a couple years old now. That’s the only photo of you two together?”

“I-I...I was just—“

“Lying. Wasting everyone’s time. Giving false hope. Taking attention away from where it’s supposed to belong. You scum.”

Lila clenched her fists in anger, and then stalked off in rage.

Kagami sighed, her shoulders releasing from her tight hold.

“That was...really cool.” Nino stated, still kneeling on the ground. Alya wasn’t crying anymore thankfully.

“Thank you, for that.” She stated, wiping her eyes. “I don’t usually have a hard time arguing with people, but this is...” Alya shook her head. “Lila is so good at improvising lies. It makes it impossible to convince people otherwise...Marinette was never able to.”

Kagami held her hands out. “Come on. We’re going to lunch. I’m Kagami Tsurugi.”

“Yeah,” said Alya, automatically taking her hand. “Alya Cesaire.”

“Nino Lahiffe.”

—

Alya and Nino decided to return to the Agreste mansion for lunch, mostly just to check in with Tom and Sabine.

Nathalie looked at the three that entered, and nodded to Kagami. “I hope you all brought your appetites.” She said dryly, leading them to the dining room.

“Huh?”

Inside, there were platters and platters of pastries and breads of all sorts of varieties.

Tom was bringing out another tray from the kitchen. “Oh! You’re back! Please kids, feel free to help yourselves!”

“Did you make all of this, Mr. Dupain?” Asked Nino.

“Ah, Yeah...But, I think I may have gone a bit overboard. I can’t sit still! I know I can’t do anything to help, but I’m just—I can’t just sit around worrying. We’ll be giving whatever we don’t eat to the soup kitchen, but feel free to take whatever you want back with you.” Then he noticed Kagami. “Ah, sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Tom, Marinette’s father.”

“Kagami. Adrien’s friend.”

“Well, I’ll go get Sabine and we’ll all have a proper meal. We’ve got stuff for sandwiches! I’ve got sliced ham and roast beef and mustard and so many cheeses...” he continued to talk as he left the room.

Kagami smiled softly as he left. “Marinette is a lot like her parents then.”

“Yeah, they’re crazy close.” Nino supplied, “I’m surprised they’re taking this so well.”

“You think this is taking it well?” Asked Alya, gesturing to the spread.

Nino shrugged.

They both sat at the table, and glanced through the food. As much as they hated to admit it, they were both hungry from their morning activities.

Despite what they had seen before that.

“It’s okay, Kagami, come and sit down.” Nino beckoned.

The girl nodded at took a seat as well.

Tom returned with yet another platter, of sandwich fixings, before he left again without a word, his mind seemingly in another place.

“So…” began Alya. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but why did you want to have lunch with us?”

“To talk.” Kagami answered simply, cutting into a ciabatta roll with a knife.

“About something specific, or are you just lonely?”

She paused, then answered, “A little of both, I think.” She looked to Alya, who was very much still suffering from the after effects of her near akumatization. “I’ve seen you two the most, on their instagrams. You’re the ones they’re the most close too. I knew if I needed to talk to someone, surely I could trust you.”

Alya offered a sad little smile. “I see. We…we’ll listen if you need us to, but…” She sighed. “It’s hard.”

“I know.” Kagami put her sandwich down, having taken two bites. She wasn’t that hungry anyways. “I thought—I thought I loved Adrien.”

Nino choked on his sandwich. “Oh dude, sorry!” He coughed. “I’m super bad in the love department.”

Kagami shook her head. “I don’t need advice. I just…I’ve been thinking about things. All my life, I’ve had to strive for perfection. Grades, arts, fencing…everything. So, naturally, when it came to having a crush, it fell on Adrien. He was…perfect. Gorgeous, kind, smart, talented…everything I ever could have wanted. To find out that…that this whole time, he’s been Chat Noir…it felt like I was being lied to.”

Nino folded his hands in front of him. “Yeah…it felt like that for me for a little bit. Just long enough for it to sink in that he had hid his identity from me for so long, before it was replaced with worry for his well being.”

Kagami looked at her plate. “You’re a better friend than I. I…I was only angry. I felt deceived. Chat Noir…he’s not bad. He’s a hero, of course, but…he’s reckless, goofy, and just…doesn’t take things seriously. Those I qualities I resent in people.” She rubbed under her eye. “If his secret was more…secret, I guess, more private, that is, I might not have been so angry. Like if he was a closeted alcoholic, or he was a messy person, I might not have been so mad. But because he’s shown to be two different people, so publicly…I felt like I didn’t know who my friend was. Who was the real Adrien? The model, or the superhero?” She shook her head. “Then I realized that I didn’t actually love him at all. I idolized him. I fantasized being together, because I thought we would be good together. But that’s what I get for putting him on a pedestal.

“I realize that saying all of this is…extremely selfish and shallow. Adrien doesn’t deserve that. He needs people that love and support both sides of him, in and out of the mask. Now, more than ever. And…and I know I’m not the only person who’s felt this way. All over the internet, girls are talking about how disappointed they are to find out who he is…if I knew how to hack, I’d erase all those comments before Adrien got the chance to see them. And…and Marinette. She deserves so much of my respect. She…she had, or still has, a crush on Adrien, and she still volunteered to accompany him on a date with me, because he was nervous. She put her own heart on the line for the comfort of her friend. She really is Ladybug.”

“You don’t have to beat yourself up so much.” Said Alya, finally breaking her silence. “You deserve someone that you can love wholly and completely, without their flaws feeling like they’re ‘tainting perfection’.”

“That…would be nice…but it’s not going to happen. I’m sorry if what I said offended you. It know it must be hard to hear someone talk about your friend like that…”

“Do you hate him?” Asked Nino. “Now, with everything you know?”

Kagami shook her head easily. “No. But now, more than ever, I realize that I’ve never really been a good friend. To either of them. So I want to help. In any way I can.”

Alya sighed in relief. “Well…directly, there’s not much we can do. We can watch the streams, and look and listen for clues and report them to investigators. But we don’t have the resources to do more than that.”

“I see…”

“But,” said Alya, with a little more hope in her voice. “There is something we can do. There’s someone out there spreading lies and trying to make this whole thing seem not as bad as it actually is.”

“You mean that Lila girl?”

“Yep. Most of our class knows better, since we were basically all together when the stream went live. But…some are still gullible. We have to stop her now. I took down her interview where she claimed to be Ladybug’s best friend, but a lot of people saw that. No doubt, reporters will try to find her to ask questions. That would…that would be devastating.”

Kagami stood, taking her sandwich and wrapping it up in a napkin. “I will take care of it. It seems like Lila is a sore topic for you.”

“A sore topic is putting it nicely. She incites me to violence.”

“And that doesn’t help anybody.”

“Exactly. Thanks…Sorry we couldn’t really make you feel better about Adrien.” Alya sighed.

But Kagami had a soft smile on her face. “I’ll get over it myself. For now, I just want to do what’s right.” She nodded her head. “Give my thanks to Mr. Dupain for the sandwich. The bread is fantastic.”

It was at that moment that Tom came back out, this time with a stack of boxes. “Oh are you leaving? Here, take this and fill it with whatever looks good. Take it home for your family.”

Kagami couldn’t help but giggle a little. The man was so warm and kind.

It was reassuring to know that when Adrien and Marinette got out, they’d have a man like him to take care of them.

Not that she thought badly of Gabriel, of course. But she couldn’t imagine him having good bedside manners.

She would also need to work on her stoic disposition. Anything to get Adrien to smile again.

—

After lunch, Alya and Nino returned to school. Strengthened by her conversation with Kagami, Alya felt a little better. She would go and talk to the other classmates to see what they were believing in this mess.

Nino walked with her, holding her hand. Though he didn’t say much until they reached the locker room. “Hey Al?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“What…what did Hawkmoth say to you earlier? Do you remember?”

She closed her locker, biting her lip in thought. “I do. It’s just…it’s weird.”

“What?”

“He called me by my name. I was sure that he addressed people as their akumatized names.”

“Oh? What else did he say?”

“I told him to go away, and that they needed me. He said ‘indeed they do, and I want to help you find them.’”

Nino frowned in thought. “That…that is weird. And you’d think he’d have plenty of people to akumatize. Watching the stream had been more upsetting than listening to Lila.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Alya took out her phone and took down some notes. “I wonder…what Hawkmoth is thinking.”

“He’s probably thinking of the best way to get those miraculous while causing the least amount of damage, since there is no Ladybug to fix things.”

She typed it out. “That’s a good theory. For now, we’ll keep our eyes peeled for akumas. He ought to be looking for another victim soon.” She turned to leave the room, but managed to bump into someone, knocking their books out of their hands.

“I’m so sorry!” Alya gasped.

“It’s fine Alya.” Said the girl. Though Alya didn’t recognize her at first. Was it another new student?

Blonde hair tied up in a messy bun, track pants, and a hoodie.

“Do I know you?” Alya asked.

The other student looked up with a weak glare. “Oh please, I know I look horrible. But it’s not that bad.”

Alya’s eyes blew wide. “Chloe?”

“Who else?”

“I just…I’ve never seen you without makeup before. It was…jarring.”

“Yeah well…I didn’t feel like putting on makeup, or doing my hair, or wearing a cute outfit…because…because Adrien and Marinette probably haven’t gotten to even take a shower, or—or brush their hair…” She let out a sob.

“Oh Chloe…” Alya found herself saying with great sympathy.

“No. Don’t talk to me like that. Please just…keep being sassy. Let me have some normalcy for a little while.”

“Okay.” Agreed Alya. She cleared her throat. “Uh, geez Chloe, can you fit any more rats up in that bun?”

Chloe’s response was watery. “Can you fit any more in yours?”

Alya gave her a little smile. “We’ll work on it.”

—

In the classroom, Alya was swarmed by classmates, all running to hug her. Rose was bawling her eyes out. “Alya! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have listened to Lila! I was—I was just so scared for Marinette and Adrien and to hear that they weren’t actually in trouble was so nice and-and—!”

Alya hugged her tightly. “It’s okay Rose. I understand. I almost wanted to believe her too. But…That’s not fair to Adrien and Marinette.”

“I feel stupid,” said Kim. “For even giving her any attention. It’s not gonna happen again.”

“What did that bitch say this time?” asked Chloe.

“She was trying to convince people that Adrien and Marinette weren’t actually being tortured. That they weren’t actually Ladybug and Chat Noir, and that they were only doing a performance piece. When Alya called her out, Lila kept lying and Alya almost got akumatized.”

Chloe seethed. “No one does that to my Adrikins! Of course he’s Chat Noir! How could anyone doubt that he’s so selfless and caring and wonderful and—he’s a hero! And Dupain-Cheng—!” Her voice choked on a sob. “My daddy will be hearing about this! I’ll get her banished from the city! No! The country!”

Alya had the smallest hint of a smile at that. “Now that, is something I’d like to see.”

“Let’s all make a pact.” Said Nathaniel.

“Yeah, a blood oath.” Said Alix, with gusto.

“No…” Nathaniel clarified. “I mean, let’s just all swear from here on out to take everything Lila says with a grain of salt, and to do whatever we can to support Adrien and Marinette, now and when they get out…especially Marinette.”

Congratulations Lila, you made good on your threat. You’ve turned everyone against me, just like you said you would. But I’m ending things on my own terms. If you ever need me again, think twice.

Everyone seemed to remember her final words to them collectively. She only delivered them two days ago, but it already felt so long ago.

“Didn’t Marinette say something about a threat?” Asked Alix, aloud.

“…maybe…there’s more to Lila than we thought.”

Juleka broke the silence, standing up and looking at her phone. “Uh, Alya…? Have you updated your blog?”

“No, I haven’t even looked at it since this all happened. Why?”

“Uh…you should…”

Quickly, Alya took out her phone and opened her blog tab.

Right there on the front page, where everyone would see it, was a brand new post that she hadn’t written at all. It was short, but the contents were chilling.

There was a link. And the caption stated, “Hawkmoth. We need to talk. —Salo.”

—

I made Kagami kind of shallow. But I’m basing it off her behavior in Onee-chan.

And I’m going camping in a few days, so I’m taking a week off of this story. Who knows when the next update will be? Not me!

[northwestofinsanity]

Tagged!

Eight People I’d Like to Know Better!

I can count on less than five fingers how often this happens.  Thanks, @beelzebugz!

1. Name / Alias

Northwestern (online alias).  The nicknames variate with my screen name, and I answer to any, but my universal ones are NW and Westie.

2. Birthday

The Last Days of May (not saying which one publicly, and BOC gave me all the more reason!)

3. Zodiac Sign

Gemini.  Though, I was born almost month premature, and should have been a Cancer, and people have said I show the Gemini/Cancer cusp emotional tendencies (really don't follow this to confirm for myself -I prefer MBTI)

4. Height

5′5″

5. Hobbies

Writing, researching bands, drawing, playing piano and viola, learning guitar over the last few months, figuring out songs by ear and analyzing the music theory to it (nerd!), being unofficial vet nurse to an elderly cat...

6. Favorite Colors

Teal and blue as stand-alones; red, black, silver, and purple in combination.

7. Favorite Books

Catch-22 grew on me.  The first ten chapters were hard to get into because everyone was so crazy that it annoyed me, but by the end of the fifteenth, I felt for the main character so bad it hurt (I had to read it during a hell period at school).  The second half made me laugh one chapter and cry the next -especially the first time when I was emotionally shot -and I just really like it.  The Things They Carried was also good.  There's something about war stories -realistic or fictional -that I really click with, analyzing each side and seeing where each comes from.

8. Last Song I Listened To

“Stillness of the Night” REO Speedwagon (it’s been stuck in my head since September ‘18!)

9. Last Film I Watched

Star Wars: A New Hope

10. Inspiration or Muse

The Hillstrand bros used to say things that would REALLY inspire me, and when I am actively working on my original works, my original characters kind of gather in my head and carry a cycle where once I get them going, they'll keep me going.  Any musician can be a big muse to me too.  The guys in Dokken and REO Speedwagon are especially strong with me lately.  Jeff Pilson and Bruce Hall (both bassists) are some of the kindest human beings who always get me smiling, and watching interview clips of Neal Doughty gets the more snarky side of my mind going.  I can't help but love him!

11. Dream Job

Realistic: Vet or Vet Tech, and perhaps a future author of another veterinary story series.  I love animals, enjoy helping people/doing a bit of crisis management, and if I can use my writing hobby with it, all the better.

Unrealistic:  Music historian.  I already research so many bands that this would come as second nature rather than work (though, the main stuff that most would want to know is already documented, if biased sometimes when dealing with band drama).  Because I’d eventually get depressed only researching and writing all the time, I’d have a day job as a vet nurse, or invent a business as a ‘pet ambulance driver’, for owners who are in rural areas outside cities and unable to drive to vets far away.  Or for people who can't afford to take off work during the day, so they don't have to pay through the nose to go to an emergency clinic after-hours over something that needs attention but doesn't warrant that level of care or expense.

12. Meaning Behind Your URL

“northwest of insanity” -there are many reasons I’ve been jokingly asked if I’m a little bit insane, to which I say I’m level headed enough to push through a lot, but I don't deny lacking some degree of sanity.  So I’m functioning slightly above and aside from full blown insanity -not entirely there, but close!  And it incorporates a variation on Northwestern, which originated from when some of my cousins (big Italian family -there are lots) and I were big into Deadliest Catch (when it was still a good show).  We had play nicknames after the boats, Kodiak, Time Bandit, Maverick, and Northwestern.  “Northwestern” also later became the name of a fictional character in an original story series I wrote for one of my little cousins when he was four, and that character definitely had a major influence on who I am as a person now.

I tag...

I’m not sure -Any of my watchers and mutuals who want to do this and haven't already!

...okay @ray-rabies, @internationalfeel, @onstrangehighways -I don't think you guys have spoken against being tagged before, but again, only if you want to do it!

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Estonia to Eurovision with a lowkey tribute to Avicii soundwise I guess

I’m not one of those people to go all their way out to overdefend Eesti Laul as “THE most diverse NF to ever exist songwise”, but even I was disappointed in this sudden rush of radiofriendly pop music that I would rather refuse to describe if I had to endure any of them ever again all at once this year. Remember - Netta won with being CRAZY! Why can’t Estonia be CRAZY even more! Was this secretly a bigger demand from the new producers or so that Estonia would need to out-radiofriendly the Latvians whose goal actually was to find a good radiofriendly song that’s enough for qualification????

Also, I kind of wanted to watch Eesti Laul, but I haven’t really settled with it, as I didn’t have enough patience to watch it one time it wasn’t on Saturday (!!). Even with Eesti Laul usually taking the live tweets from foreign fans into account and displaying some of them on the national Estonian television for good measure. And often showcasing their weirdness through crude animations every so often. But I already saw my Twitter timeline being full of that stuff, and for that I’m happy.

I did have some favourites despite being tired of all this pop stuff, and one of them was the ever-so-gender-ambiguous INGER (I say so cuz I thought it was a guy, turns out it’s a she, yeah), and I kind of wanted to see her win after the lowkey last minute interest towards her? But the televote didn’t seem to want any of it during the final public say, and didn’t even want Kerli (not the Spirit Animal Kerli) through despite of her being “hot” (are we now choosing ESC NF winners based on their looks??? tighten up ffs). Instead the final’s televote thought it’d be a good idea to fuck up the international jury’s expectations by putting through an act that got 2(!!!!!) finalised points from them jurors overall and making it win the superfinal. That televote 12 the act got beforehand was just enough for the guy to last-minute qualify over another act of 14 overall points, and who knows, maybe if it wasn’t for that 12, the winner would’ve been someone else. But it didn’t and we have a last minute qualifier victory because televote superfinal is a thing.

And in the literal sense of the way Estonian minds thought their victor that was unfairly treated by the juries was a Swedish singer Victor Crone and his song “Storm”, which was written by the one and only Stig Rastafarian~ err I mean Rästa. Stig is one mythical human creature that never rests a minute without really wanting to appear in the Estonian delegation somewhere every year - whether as all by himself, with someone else, as a songwriter for someone else, or even as part of a band (remember Traffic, anyone? Now that I think of it, the whole band looks like a puppet-act just for Stig to get to Eurovision and the other band members didn’t even want any of it in the first place). Just exactly what is Stig’s aim here? To "take it back to Tallinn”? To meet new people in Europe because he’s too lazy to travel otherwise? To boast about the many Estonian entries he contributed to? Beats me.

That and Victor Crone being Swedish, therefore a man more suited to Melodifestivalen (where he actually once participated in) and only on Eesti Laul because Stig really wanted to save his voice for this one and tag some randomer along with him just for the sake of yearly input to Eesti Laul. Well, at least Victor is historically joining Sahlene and Sandra Oxenryd as “a Swede represending Estonia for a year because what do we know for the Estonians that weren’t chosen instead”. Let’s check his song out.

First and foremost, as the title obviously states, the song reminds me of the late Avicii’s music style, especially around 2012-2013, when he was just starting to get bigger post-”Levels”-release. Just with a bit more singing surrounding the song because... well, maybe to fill up the song some more in order to not look awkward on stage during an instrumental part of the drop being as long as would be one you hear on the radio.

Then he has this easy-listening generic male radio voice that the audiences can not necessarily reasonate with, but it’s memorable, together with the chorus, whose purpose is to be memorable - you don’t need no message that’s special, you just need a melody to hum in your head for the next few weeks, and that’s basically what Stig was able to achieve with this little ditty. Then there’s the amazingly easy song structure: verse - chorus - verse - (extended) chorus - bridge - chorus (+ song ending). That’s a structure that works on basic songs to make them more user-consumption-friendly and not too overbearingly dragged out. And I enjoy it, just like I did “Light Me Up” last year, which was also sung by a mediocre-live-vocalist-Swede that could have easily ended up 6th in Melodifestivalen edition with such song, sadly. I do acknowledge that it’s basic, but I enjoy it.

The problem the Eurofandom finds with this song is that it’s too basic of a song from Eesti, Victor’s proven himself to be a dull live singer, and the chorus rhymes “like this” with “like this”, and all the self-rhymes are automatically shite. And it’s fine if a song I like has its flaws, but it automatically worries me that its live potential is automatically down the drain because of the singer’s lack of vocal compassion or strenght. That begs the question, why choosing THAT kind of song if it’s totally going to underperform live in Eurovision if the singer wasn’t sick in the NF at the time???

...oh I get it now, you Estonians must have thought Stig deserves another year in the Estonian greenroom. Or you found Victor hot. Or you find it great that a song about a storm actually was originally staged to look like Victor’s in a storm. At least for the televiewers’ eye. Because all that they see in the real arenas is the singers’ backs if they don’t turn around in time.

With visuals like these, why even need a music video! (except that there already is one, look at the beginning of the review)

All in all, all condiments are there: just the sugar, spice and everything nice there’s needed for a song like this to break a fandom like this. You can practically smell the Hesburger grease from this song. I don’t care if that’s a bad thing - if you like the song, that’s fine, just shut up and enjoy... but if you dislike it, welp, there’s no way I can change your mind then.

And a random backing singer. Not that she’s helpful as the one for Ott Lepland or anything, she just strikes like thunder and leaves no lasting impact whatsoever.

Greta Salóme’s imaginary cousin, is that you????

Now excuse me while I contradict and repeat myself some more in the next few paragraphs:

Approval factor: As you might have seen me shading Elina a lot last year, I can safely say that at last I’m spared from her vocal practice entrapped in a porcelain-and-silk dressing!!! I like “Storm” myself so I’ll sheepishly approve the hell out of it, lolol. :-)

Follow-up factor: I would be lying if I didn’t say that after a risky-ish way to get all out opera and then coming back to a safe song after doing well with that opera number weren’t a complete nosedive into an empty pool. Subjectively it flows way better for me, but objectively, and the same could be, once again, said for Eesti Lawl [sic] 2019, it is rather interesting of a letdown? But hey, maybe it was finally time for the Estonians to chillax a bit and cave in to send an Estonian-Swedish pop number after the opera stuff, after the 80s synthpop stuff, after the smooth and slightly orchestrated and a little bluesy number, and heart-grabbing ballads... just so they could keep up their ‘variety’ in case Hungary runs out of ideas and starts sending cop-outs of themselves. They already did it with rehashing one artist and one lyrical idea already this year (the catch is that the father’s alive!), honestly. And oddly enough, they have yet to send something a little more modern/electro-influenced that appeals to the common crowd... (”Running” may not count because not everyone can relate, whereas there are more cases of broken-off love (as if in the other half being a heartbreaker or the first half missing the other half so much that they feel “incomplete” than abusive fathers. Just what I think there is? If I’m wrong I obviously expect to be @’ed in the replies section lol) For this conclusion though I’ll say that my opinion says it’s a ‘’’decent’’’ follow up, but for Eurofans, it’s not very much so of such, idk.

Qualification factor: you may think it’s dead while going to perform in between the more badass entries AND mediocre live vocals, but it won’t at least be the worst Stig entry to ever place - around 14th in the semi at the very worst and maybe in the lower half of top 10 at very best imo. Nothing more, nothing less.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I actually barely even bother with Eesti Laul since they don’t accept my Twitter comments live on their television anyways. Say, were there any Twitter comments live on their television this year? No one on Twitter boasted about it if they saw theirs from what I’ve seen, but what I’ve definitely found from the eager Eesti Laul watchers were some casual and usual Estonian oddities thrown on the broadcast, such as:

• The soft and warm but also random and deranged yearly transitional postcard animations (that were refered to as “crude” earlier in this review), which I commonly know now as “my last two braincells”. Even if the graphical theme itself of this year’s Ee-Lawl were oddly-shaped birds coming out in forms of letters, they didn’t really show up much in the broadcast I suppose, and the best fuckery with my mind this year definitely happened when I saw some of THOSE pop up on my Twitter timeline:

We now return to your regularly scheduled news programm~ wait why are you saying that the scheduled programme should be Eesti Laul

• Even if the most acts themselves weren’t that kooky musically, they were obviously interesting performance-wise. We were greeted with an impulsively quirky crazy cat lady Kaia Tamm who bemoaned the absence of the fluffy creatures in German somehow (you know Germany’s a terrible track-record keeper when the only song in German this year featured on Estonia and the only German in Eurovision this year was gonna be sung by an Ukrainian entrant if she was alowed to), as if a song in full Italian from last year wasn’t enough. Not only did she dress up as Alice in Wonderland with kitty ears, but her costumed dancers were entertaining, the violinist was FIRE and a cute large teddy bear looked cute on stage. Not to mention, someone have rightfully noticed that some costumed felines in the audience looked like as if they were to kill someone:

• Lumevärv too is an interesting thing. Never forgetting Lumevärv. This Inga woman, the fiery orangehead she was, used her 3 minutes on stage the best possible way with dancing with her back turned on at the audience and only looking at the camera, while millions of lights (which is sadly not what the songtitle "Milline päev" means) shone in the audience, creating an amazing mood.

• Hey everyone, the 10 years challenge is back! This time it’s with the violin virtuousess(???) Sandra Nurmsalu, the lead of Urban Symphony, who deserved much more than a 3rd place. Unfortunately the Estonians did not bring her back to get her desired revenge, which meant that they thought that they woodn’t need no magic tale fairy that’d grant them tree wishes and let her magic wand our out the wondrous [sic] sawdust. I’m already seeing myself out for how terrible this sounded. And it’s a bit saddening about this not doing as well as some hoped, considering she would have brough out the new and the better Jacques Houdek teas:

• Other favourite act of mine from this year, besides the aforementioned “ever-so-gender-ambiguous-looking INGER” with her indie-folk jingle “Coming Home”, was the charming disco-haired Sissi Nylia Benita with a wholesomely radio bop “Strong”, and they both actually looked like they stood a chance in the superfinal vote-up now that the actual Eesti Laul fan favourites, pretty cute pop boys like piano-indie-pop-driven Stefan and electro-pop-and-Kirkorov-driven Uku Suviste, were not receiving enough support by the juries I guess??? I’ll show a video to INGER if anything and link you all to the rest so you could judge these young and beautiful souls to yourselves in a way!

• Other note-worthy acts include another song about the notorious instrument horsefly in Ee-Lawl’s history that stood even less chance than “Parmupillihullus” but is still fun regardless, and the united forces of Tanja (EE 2014) and Birgit (EE 2013) trying to compose a bigband talk show anthem and dedicating the lyrics for them being ladies with their high heels out on. And honestly, that’s all I’m gonna talk of acts-wise because most other songs were THAT of a radiofriendly-radio-filler that they don’t warrant anything else exciting for me to say.

• No but for real, the voting to the superfinal was completely off-rails. Instead of Victor, juries were there to support that Kerli woman that wasn’t from 2017 (and her soft acoustic song too), as well as Sissi and INGER (but you already know that because I barely read my write-ups before I finish them, hence lots of redundancy). At least that’s all to my knowledge. But everything definitely changed when the televote attacked! And turned the top 3 all male, lol. This voting was rather random simply because the juries didn’t really love Victor, but it definitely took the televote to convince them that “lol Victor is definitely worth of Eurovision!!! screw that he’s non-Estonian!!!” (the difference is that Victor doesn’t have a big social media following unlike Bilal and didn’t win an obnoxiously people-powered talent show unlike USNK from A Dal 2018 - it’s just that he’s more backed by Stig Rästa, and Stig is love, Stig is life.) Honestly, I am all up for unpredictable voting, but if it looks unpleasant to me, then I feel like tuning out.

We’re over with this write-up, thank-fuck-fully, so that you won’t need to hear me lamenting how supposedly cheap “Storm” is ever again. But before that I will have to leave you with some Eurovision 2019 facts coming on: Estonian delegation can be lucky for once - instead of having had to panic for spending an egregious amount of money for a staging detail, this year they don’t have to worry, as the organizers were so shook by Victor’s stormy sky effect, they offered to pay for it themselves!!! Crazy, huh??? (reported for favouritism)

And now I’m done. And we’re moving on to another review and I end up wishing Victor Crone the every best of luck out there. Storm out with a good time well spent! (Whatever that might mean.)

[knotty-hottie]

@alycat919 So, we haven’t talked before, but your post in the Ouran High School Host Club tag reminded me of my final paper for my Gender/Women Studies and I thought I’d share it. I promise I’m not tagging for drama, but just because I wanted to thank you for reminding me. It was a lot of fun to write a research paper about my first anime, and, despite the negativity I talk about in the paper, it’s still a personal fave of mine. You’re free to scroll past this if you aren’t interested, or to engage if you are. I just want to share the work I’ve done with the fandom I’ve explored. 😁

Ouran High School Host Club: Rich in Benevolent Sexism and Rape Culture

He pinned her against the bed, looming above her like a wild beast. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide, her nightgown bunched, her breath caught in her chest. The two stared at each other, like predator and prey, for a split second that felt like an eternity. He opened his mouth, and spoke, surely, calmly.

“You should fix that, ‘being a guy or girl doesn’t matter’ naivety of yours. It’s your fault for being too defenceless.”

It may sound like something from a badly written smut piece, or the rape fantasy of a young person, but in Ouran High School Host Club, this is the reality of our heroine, Haruhi Fujioka. She is a ‘commoner’ (lower middle class) student at a school for Japan’s most elite, having gotten in on a scholarship. After an incident involving her stumbling into an occupied music room in search of a study place, a vase worth ¥8,000,000 (equal to approximately $73,000 in today’s United States dollars), and some classic anime tropes, she ends up as a member of the school’s host club. The series itself describes the host club as “[The place] where the school’s handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran’s elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.” The series is one of the most famous of all time in the anime community, coming in at spot 20 out of the top 50 most popular anime of all time on the Anime News Network. On SBS, Ouran came in at spot 40 on a fan-voted poll for best anime of all time. On Funimation (the anime’s publisher site) and Crunchyroll (one of the most popular anime streaming sites of today’s day and age) Ouran comes in at 5 stars. It’s a well known, well liked piece of media, that has earned itself an anime adaptation from its manga origin, a dating simulator from its anime adaptation, and a live action reboot based on all three of the previous iterations. Yet, somehow, underneath all of the things to like, there’s a dark underbelly that many willfully ignore or are just plain unaware of. The series perpetuates gender roles, rape culture, and some not-so-subtle homophobia. The way that it gets away with these things is by portraying them through the lens of benevolent sexism, which catches readers, watchers, and players alike off-guard.

Benevolent sexism falls under the larger umbrella of ambivalent sexism, which is divided into two main categories. The first category is hostile sexism, which is what most people think of when they try and imagine sexism. It is described by Dictionary.com as, “[sexism] reflecting negative views of women who challenge traditional gender roles.” It is the toxic, hypermasculinized form of sexism that many are taught to look for. It is the comments of, “You aren’t a real woman if your hair is short like that,” and, “Women are dumber than men.” On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the idea of benevolent sexism. Rather than comments of, “Women are weaker than men, making them inferior,” we hear the benevolent sexist say, “Men should protect women, as it’s the right thing to do.” It’s those moments where women are told they look better when they smile, or are in dresses, or have children in arm. The words are complementary and polite, but they hold the same message as those negative comments of the hostile sexist. Ouran works carefully to craft its message so that it doesn’t insult its main fan base (young women), while still getting its message across. For example, there’s the character of Renge Houshakuji.

Renge first appears in the manga in ‘Episode 3’ and in episode 4 of the anime adaptation. She is what is known as an otaku, which, in modern culture, refers to someone obsessed with some aspect of pop culture (whether that be video games, anime, movies, etc.) to the point that their social life suffers. In Japan, the word has become a word similar to our ‘nerd’ or ‘geek’. In American culture, the word is considered derogatory, and usually falls in line with words like ‘weeaboo’ and ‘wapanese’. Renge wholeheartedly accepts her otaku status, locking herself in her room to do what she enjoys most; playing dating sims. After a turn of events, she ends up at the Host Club, believing that she is in love with Kyouya Ootori, a host who looks identical to one of her favorite characters. After she reveals that this is why she likes Kyouya, she is bashed for her hobbies and considered crazy. The moment her hobbies come to light, they are painted as wrong and she is vilified, even though her male counterparts are considered just and right in there own hobbies. When Hani, one of the hosts, is depicted as morally correct for acknowledging that he is allowed to like the color pink and cute things rather than martial arts. Renge is one of the few female characters in the show that is depicted as having personality traits outside of, “infatuated with handsome boys” and “ultra feminine”, yet she is considered “crazy” for expressing those outside traits. It isn’t that she isn’t traditionally feminine, but that she has more to her character than that, much to the dismay of her male counterparts. She has her own hobbies and ideas. She knows exactly what she wants and goes for it. Even if her methods are questionable and a bit on the stereotypically crazy side, she still goes after her aspirations.

When Tamaki, one of the main characters of the show, greets and flirtily welcomes Renge to the club, she flinches away at his nonconsensual touch. She seems shell-shocked, blushing in what seems like embarrassment. After she comes to terms with him touching her face without permission, she slaps him, calling him a phony (among other insults), and leaving him emotionally beaten before going to Kyouya, the one she really wants. She decides to reinvent the Host Club’s characters in order to help Kyouya make more money, which should, she believes, make him fall in love with her the way she loves him. She is shown to get her ‘comeuppance,’ in a sense, when everything she goes for backfires. Kyouya reveals that he does not like her, she nearly ends up hurt, and she is told that she must take her time and learn about others in order to have a good relationship of any kind. When you come into relationships expecting someone to act a certain way, you are harming your chances of a healthy relationship. The message is good, but Renge’s fate is not quite as nice. She becomes a frequent background character, used for exposition, cheap plot device, and/or the voice of the fawning fan girls. The closest we get to her personal hobbies is the fact that she sometimes cosplays and, if we’re lucky, hear her talk about them for five or so seconds.

Another example of women in the show comes in the form of Benio Amakusa and the rest of the Zuka Club. In the third book of the series, specifically in ‘Episode 10’, we are introduced to Benio. She is dressed in the men’s uniform, has short hair, and is openly flirtatious with Haruhi, acknowledging Haruhi’s sex publicly to the Host Club’s dismay. Once Benio and company reveal to the hosts that they are, in fact, women, Tamaki labels them all as lesbians. All three do end up showing attraction of some sort to women, but the fact that he labels them all as such simply because one is shown to enjoy dressing in the men’s uniform and having short hair is a disturbing thought in and of itself. Tamaki sees that one is a lesbian, and begins making assumptions about their collective character based on that assumption. He goes so far as to pass out in shock at the presence of lesbians, and, once he awakens, says the following to the three Lobelia Woman’s Academy members; “You girls are all wrong!! What can come from a woman loving a woman!? Why did God create Adam and Eve, if not--!” He’s cut off before he can finish the thought, much to the LGBT+ community’s pleasure. Much to the community’s displeasure, however, is the imagery used in the anime to depict lesbians as nazis, having them do the nazi salute to a flag labeled “women”. Back to the plot, once he believes that he might lose Haruhi to this all-girl’s academy, he has some of his fellow hosts dress in exaggerated womanly clothing and wigs so that she can have ‘the best of both worlds,’ so to speak. The hosts think that, if they act ‘womanly’ enough, they will be a satisfactory replacement. Haruhi proceeds to explain that she had never even considered going with the girls, as her home was with the hosts. The Lobelia girls promise their revenge in a seemingly silly and typical manner.

In the only other episode that the Lobelia girls show themselves in, we get to see them kidnap Haruhi and, under the guise of needing Haruhi to perform, trick her into a situation that would lead to a non-consensual kiss in front of a large crowd, if not do more to her. When you watch the show, there doesn’t seem to be much going on aside from a silly and ridiculous plan that some rich lesbians are pulling to get revenge on the ‘noble and correct’ Host Club. When you really think about what’s happening though, it’s scary. They kidnap someone. They nearly sexually assault someone. What does it say that there only true gay representation resorts to these tactics when they are previously thwarted? The girls are basically degraded to recurring villains with silly beliefs, antics, and existences. Why is that?

In volume 5 of the manga, ‘Episode 17,’ we get exposed to Ayame Jonouchi, who is entirely skipped over in the anime. She makes a return in the live action series, however, holding her own arc in the third episode of the series. She’s incredibly intelligent, notably attractive, and, according to the hosts, a monotone speaker. They even go so far as to call her, “Miss Morse” and “Morse Code Lady” at one point. She is described as scholarly looking and strait-laced, and holds a major grades complex. The last of those points explains why she has always been in the top two of her classes grading system, holding the second place position hostage directly under the Host Club’s Kyouya Ootori. Once Tamaki transfers to Ouran, however, she gets knocked down to third, much to her displeasure. She becomes a foil for Tamaki in a sense, showing that her struggle and constant practice to gain knowledge will never be enough to beat the natural tendencies of her male counterparts. After checking the traditional genders of all of the names listed on the sheet for her class, I discovered that there was only one other girl on the page. Her position? Seventh place.

Ayame’s tale’s conclusion is a little bit painful to watch, as it is near a cliche at this point. It turns out that she actually loved Tamaki for a certain comment he made about her straight hair during their first meeting. Her hair is naturally wavy, leading to her having self-image issues in the face of her crush that lead her grades to drop just enough for Tamaki to take her spot. Her wavy hair being exposed by the rain, a breakdown of frustration, and a few compliments from Tamaki later, she discovers that she is beautiful no matter how she looks on the outside, and becomes a regular customer of Tamaki’s. She is petite, cisgender, heterosexual, and pale. The only reason we know that she continues attending the Host Club is because it is literally written into the final panels of the chapter. We never actually see her again in either rendition of the story.

The most famous ‘woman’ in all renditions of Ouran High School Host Club is Haruhi Fujioka. She is a first semester high school student. She is of the lower middle class. She lives with her father that, in every rendition of the story, is called a ‘tranny’ who works at the local ‘tranny bar’ (rather than addressing him as a drag queen at a drag bar). Her mother was a lawyer before her passing. She is attending Ouran Academy on a scholarship. Her hair is short, she needs glasses, and she can’t afford a uniform. She wears her father’s hand-me-down clothes and her grandfather’s hand-me-down glasses to save money. She’s blunt, book smart, and open minded. She’s a lot of things, but, somehow, she gets some of the worst treatment of the series. She is the reader’s insight into the author’s world; the character being exposed for expositional purposes, so to speak. For the sake of brevity, let’s walk through some key episodes of the anime (which is the story’s most well-known adaptation) and talk about what goes wrong in each one.

In the first episode of the series, “Starting Today, You Are a Host!”, we are introduced to Haruhi Fujioka, the protagonist of the story, who is simply looking for a quiet place to study, and, by mistake, stumbles across a club room in use by Ouran Academy’s Host Club. The members (specifically Tamaki, the series’ largest offender) proceed to insult Haruhi on monetary grounds, insert themselves into her personal space, and assume her gender identity and sexuality. After Haruhi drops an 8 million yen vase, the hosts (again, primarily Tamaki) begin to call Haruhi a dog and basically use her as a servant/errand runner. At one point, Tamaki calls Haruhi a ‘piglet’ in reference to her poor ‘servant’ status putting her beneath him. Later in the episode, Haruhi is revealed to be conventionally attractive, her wants are ignored as the hosts makeover her. Her hair is cut, a uniform is bought, and contacts are put in to make her fit the traditionally beauty standards of manhood (as, for the moment, some of the hosts are under the ruse that she is, in fact, biologically male and cisgender). Once this happens, all who attend the host club seem to treat Haruhi better. She is talked to by girls (which, many argue, is understandable, as she is now a host. My counter-argument is that the girls had to request Haruhi in the first place, something they likely would not have done before Haruhi’s involuntary makeover) and the hosts begin paying her real attention. Tamaki begins claiming Haruhi as ‘his own’ to other people, signalling that, to him, attractiveness is the primary trait that is needed to be on the same level as him, personality be damned. He also proceeds to invade her personal space without consent, which leads to her calling on Mori (another host) for assistance.

Once we hit the final moments of the episode, we find that Haruhi has gone to a changing room as her uniform has been soaked in the events of the episode’s climax. Tamaki, yet again invading personal space without consent, walks in with little to no warning on Haruhi changing, discovering her sex is female. He is shocked and embarrassed, reacting in a seemingly cute way to the discovery. Kyouya eventually comments on the predicament, laying out on the table the true message of the episode. “Could this possibly be the beginnings of love?” he asks the viewer, turning to the camera. He wipes over all of the harassment Tamaki has done to Haruhi, ignores what she really wants in the moment, and waters her character down to ‘love interest’. She is the pretty, feminine foil to Tamaki’s handsome, ‘persistent’ (read as; incessant harassment) personality. They are clearly ‘meant to be together,’ and the show makes it clear in that moment that they will be together whether she wants to be or not as the men in her life see it that way.

In the eighth episode, “The Sun, The Sea, and The Host Club!”, we find the most controversial scene of the series. Before we can get to that, however, we need to walk through the circumstances that lead us to it. The Host Club is on a trip to the beach (after all the men in Haruhi’s life argue about which swimsuit she should wear, of course), and the male hosts decide to figure out what Haruhi is afraid of via a game. The game is that whoever finds out what Haruhi is most afraid of gets pictures (taken and supplied by Haruhi’s father) of Haruhi in middle school (the more I rewatch these episodes, the more creepy things I realize are in them). After a long day with no results, Haruhi gets called up upon an overlook by some of the Host Club’s guests. As she makes her way up to spend time with them, some drunk men beat her there and begin harassing the guests. They grab the girls, asking them if it’s dull without any boys around and ignoring the girls’ pleas to stop. Haruhi, arriving upon the scene, throws a bucket of shells at one of the offenders, calmly asking them to go away. She stands her ground when one of them attacks back, allowing for one of the girls they were harassing to get away at her own expense. After some verbal abuse, Haruhi is thrown off the overlook into the water below, where Tamaki immediately goes in after her. The other hosts handle the assaulters, and, once Haruhi is proven to be safe, the berating begins. “Are you one of those?” asks Tamaki. “Actually a martial arts master, like Honey-senpai?” He grabs her, and goes on. “How could you think that you, a girl, by yourself, could do anything about those boys?!” After Haruhi explains that her actions were a split second decision and she didn’t have time to think, he yells at her, “Well, think about it, you idiot! You are a girl!”

Tamaki and the rest of the male hosts seem to be on the same page, insisting that Haruhi needs to apologize for her actions. Haruhi, on the other hand, does not see any wrong in what she did, which leads to some friction between herself and Tamaki. The two refuse to speak to each other until one apologizes to the other. At dinner, to avoid talking, Haruhi overeats to the point of making herself sick, which she notices only after being chastised again by the hosts sans Tamaki and Kyouya for her actions. After they request an apology from her, she finds that she needs to empty her stomach’s contents and runs to the nearest bedroom. She finds out that the room is, in fact, Kyouya’s, and that the two of them are now alone, prompting the series’s most controversial scene. Fans sometimes call it, “The Scene in the Dark.”

Haruhi apologizes to Kyouya on multiple grounds as he takes the time to lay out all the hassle she has caused him. When Haruhi offers to pay him back, he points out that he has far more money than her and that she is already in debt. He turns down the lights as he lays out her dilemma and brings up a new solution as he leers at her; why doesn’t she pay him back using her body? While she stands there, attempting to process what he’s said, Kyouya takes action. He grabs her arm. He throws her upon the bed. He straddles her, pins her to the bed, and tells her, bluntly, “You should rethink your own gullibility, that things have nothing to do with a person being a guy or a girl. You’ve made a mistake in leaving yourself so open.” He looks her in the eye and, in simple terms, lays out that he could take her. He has more money, more power, and, most prominently, a penis. Haruhi says that he is bluffing, and, luckily, he was. He gets off of her, and she comments that he is “nicer than she thought” for the experience he’s provided. Bisco Hatori, the creator of Ouran, drives home her message bluntly. Women are weak and should be protected by the men in their lives. They should be passive and, if they fail to be such, should immediately apologize. If a man decides to not sexually assault or rape you, he is nice. You should be thankful that he has the courtesy to not sexually abuse you. It’s legitimately terrifying that this is the message that is being sent out.

As salt in the wound, the very next scene is with Tamaki and Haruhi, with the latter cast as a scared little girl in the damsel in distress trope. She hides herself in the closet, curled in a ball, as the audience and Tamaki discover that Haruhi is scared of thunderstorms! She explains that she has always had to rely on herself as her mother is dead and her dad is constantly working. In response, Tamaki promises to take care of her from now on, she seems to come to a silent agreement to lean on the men in her life more, and the two have an emotional make up moment. Haruhi gets love and support from her friends again once she begins to lean on the men in her life and accept the help. I’ve seen other people argue that the message of the episode is that everyone needs to rely on others sometimes, which is a fair argument, but I can’t bring myself to agree the more I look at it. If it’s just about relying on others, why is there the scared little girl imagery? Why do they even emphasize Haruhi’s sex at all in this scenario if it’s not about that? Hatori knew what she was writing, and the message she sent out. She had a plethora of other ways to explore this theme, and she wouldn’t have written it this way unless she meant for it to be taken in a gender-biased manner.

I could go on, but I feel that I’ve explained my stance on the matter. Ouran High School Host Club is a classic anime in the anime community. A lot of people I know and that I’ve heard from in my life grew up with the show, and some still seek a romantic partner like one of the hosts. In all of the series’s adaptations, we find that certain themes remain prevalent. Women are meant to be pretty, submissive things that are interested in their male counterparts at all times. If you have your own interests, you are obsessive and crazy. If you like the same sex, you are against men. If you take a leadership position, you’re a nag. If you stand for what you think is right, you are a bother to the men around you. It’s scarily similar to what I’ve seen on social media. If you talk about sex too much, you’re a slut. If you talk about sex too little, you’re a prude. If you are too skinny, you’re on drugs, too fat, you have no impulse control. It seems that there is no ‘right’ woman to possibly be, in the fantasy that is Ouran or in the reality we face daily. We can only hope that, someday in the future, we can look back at Ouran and unanimously see it for what it is; a romanticized sexist daydream disguised as a teenage anime romantic comedy.

Works Cited

2400 (2011). Thoughts: The Merit Scene in Ouran. [online] Midnight Express. Available at: https://2400express.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/merit-scene-ouran/ [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Adler, J. (2015). ‘Ouran High School Host Club’: Haruhi, Heteronormativity, and the Gender Binary | Bitch Flicks. [online] Btchflcks.com. Available at: http://www.btchflcks.com/2015/03/ouran-high-school-host-club-haruhi-heteronormativity-and-the-gender-binary.html#.W6qeFGhKjrc

Darlington, T. (2009). The Queering of Haruhi Fujioka: Cross-Dressing, Camp, and Commoner Culture in <cite> Ouran High School Host Club </cite>. [online] English.ufl.edu. Available at: http://www.english.ufl.edu/imagetext/archives/v4_3/darlington/

F. Innes IV, K. (n.d.). Benio Amakusa. [online] Absolute Anime. Available at: https://www.absoluteanime.com/ouran_high_school_host_club/benio [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Hatori, B., RyoRca., Werry, J. and Caltsoudas, G. (2002). Ouran High School Host Club. Hakusensha, p.All.

Hurford, Emily. "Gender and Sexuality in Shoujo Manga: Undoing Heteronormative Expectations in Utena, Pet Shop of Horrors, and Angel Sanctuary." Electronic Thesis or Dissertation. Bowling Green State University, 2009. OhioLINK Electronic Theses and Dissertations Center. 04 Oct 2018.

Lark, M. (2015). Gender roles in Ouran. [online] Themorninglark.tumblr.com. Available at: http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/post/100669214865/gender-roles-in-ouran-hey-guys-sorry-your [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Lark, M. (2015). Kyouya and that scene in the dark. [online] Themorninglark.tumblr.com. Available at: http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/post/100783759195/kyoya-and-that-scene-in-the-dark [Accessed 5 Oct. 2018].

Ogi, F. (2003). Female Subjectivity and Shoujo (Girls) Manga (Japanese Comics): Shoujo in Ladies' Comics and Young Ladies' Comics. The Journal of Popular Culture, 36(4), pp.780-803.

Ouran High School Host Club. (2006). [video] Directed by B. Hatori, T. Igarashi and Y. Enokido. Japan: Bones.

Ouran High School Host Club. (2011). [video] Directed by C. Han, Y. Tachibana and I. Natsuko. Japan: TBS.

SBS PopAsia HQ (2018). Votes are in: The top 100 greatest anime of all-time (as voted by you). [online] SBS PopAsia. Available at: https://www.sbs.com.au/popasia/blog/2017/10/12/votes-are-top-100-greatest-anime-all-time-voted-you [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

SJ Party (2017). [online] Random Media Analysis Thoughts On OHSHC. Available at: http://thesjtparty.com/post/162171016890/random-media-analysis-thoughts-on-ouran-high [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (n.d.). Ambivalent sexism. [online] En.wikipedia.org. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambivalent_sexism [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (n.d.). Anime Top 50 Most Popular - Anime News Network:W. [online] Animenewsnetwork.com. Available at: https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/ratings-anime.php?top50=popular [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (2018). the definition of benevolent sexism. [online] www.dictionary.com. Available at: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/benevolent-sexism [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (2018). Otaku. [online] En.wikipedia.org. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otaku [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (2018). Ouran High School Host Club on Crunchyroll!. [online] Crunchyroll. Available at: https://www.crunchyroll.com/ouran-high-school-host-club [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (n.d.). Renge Houshakuji. [online] Ouran High School Host Club Wiki. Available at: http://ouran.wikia.com/wiki/Renge_Houshakuji [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Unknown (2018). Stream & Watch Ouran High School Host Club Online - Sub & Dub. [online] Funimation.com. Available at: https://www.funimation.com/shows/ouran-high-school-host-club/ [Accessed 11 Oct. 2018].

Wings, S. (2018). Ouran High School Host Club’s Infamous Episode 8: A Study on Rape Culture. [online] Pixels and Panels [ A Game x Manga Blog]. Available at: https://soaringwingsblog.wordpress.com/2012/10/04/ouran-high-school-host-clubs-infamous-episode-8-a-study-on-rape-culture/ [Accessed 4 Oct. 2018]

[vizhi0n]

Sawney - Part 12

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

If you wanna be tagged or untagged, lemme know!

@castielwinchester22 @i-am-negan-trash @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash @genevievedarcygranger @kijilinn @ladylorelitanyfanfiction @lucifers-trash-stash @superprincesspea @doyouhaveavacancy @hannibalssweaters @heartfulloffandoms @strangersangel9 @kellyn1604 @crzcorgi @mypapawinchester @my-achilles--heel @moonypetyr @darkangel66a @backseat-negan @vinylmadwoman @embracetheapocalypsewithme @lovingzombiechaos @jasoncrouse @mcnegan @melodicdolls @itstotalyblue @imjustmakingsuffupagain @jeffreydeanneganstrash @gremlinfuck @originalwinchestervamp @negans-network @toxic-ink

No warnings for this chapter (amazingly.) Thank you guys so much for reading. All of your comment and reviews make me so happy. *sends yall a million hearts*

Desa slept like a baby. It was the first time in almost a year since she got some form of deep, relaxing sleep, her body sated and a bit sore from the sex — she didn’t mind. When she opened her eyes, she could still feel Negan’s arm draped across her torso. He was snoring lightly, eyes twitching beneath closed lids. Only when his breathing hitched and he gave a low whine did Desa slip from beneath him. She watched as his facial muscles contracted, teeth clenching together. 

He was having a nightmare. Desa recognized it — she’d had to calm Jack down several times. The only difference was that Negan was much, much larger and stronger than Jack. 

Negan gave a low groan, falling stiller. Desa observed, waiting until she felt he wasn’t going to lash out, before placing a hand against his bare shoulder. 

“Negan,” Desa shook him. “Negan?” 

His eyes snapped open. Desa pulled her hand away and Negan groaned once more. He lay, staring at the ceiling before mumbling, “Shit.”

“Morning to you, too,” Desa flopped back down, chuckling. “You were having a nightmare. A pretty vocal one.”

“I fucking saw him. Again. It was like a replay of what happened down in that goddamn sewer,” Negan grunted. Desa placed her hand against his shoulder once more, trying to show that she was listening. 

“Is it because he’s still out there? Alive?”

“I don’t fucking know. I’m not a goddamn therapist. The shit is fucking complicated and fucking embarrassing—”

“It’s not embarrassing. Negan, you don’t have to be tough all the time.”

“I do for my men. They all know what happened. That shit spread like a wildfire,” Negan said harshly. “If they saw me whimpering like a fucking pussy, who knows how they’d see me? Not as the big-dicked, badass leader of he Saviors, that for sure.”

“You want to be a character? Is that it?” Desa lifted her head. “You don’t need to put on a show for people to respect you—”

“It’s too late to go back. This is who the fuck I am to my people,” Negan glanced over to where Lucille rested against the desk. “The risk of changing shit far outweigh the benefits.”

“You can be vulnerable around me. You already have been. Because I’ve been vulnerable around you.”

“I will be when I’m ready. I’m not fucking there yet,” Negan slipped from the bed, giving Desa a view of his bare backside. She snorted, remaining on the bed while Negan dressed. He said, “We shouldn’t stay here long.”

“I’m not going back there.”

“What?”

Desa sat up, running fingers through her hair. Negan, now clad in his pants, stopped to look at her. Desa said, “I know it’s probably been suggested to you. This place, this mansion, it’s already fully operational and pretty much stocked. It would make a good outpost—”

“Fuck no—”

“Think tactically. Put everything else aside. I know Father hurt you, and that there are memories attached to this place — It’s the same for me. The biggest insult to Father and Mother would be taking what belonged to them, and claiming it as your own. That’s what we should do. Make it so they could never come back here.”

“And what about you?”

“I’ll stay. I know the grounds, I know every nook and cranny. I’ll oversee the operation and make sure everything runs smoothly,” Desa explained. “Negan, please. It’s better for the both of us. I know how you run things, I know how you operate back at the Sanctuary. I know you’re not going to change, so it’s better if I’m not there.”

Negan sighed, shoulders sagging. In a rare admission of compliance, he said, “Okay. Okay, fine. That shit will work. I’ll send Simon with a crew and he’ll help out.”

“Thank you, Negan.”

“I trust you, Desa. I fucking do, and I know what your capable of. So I expect you to get shit done.”

“I don’t fuck people who I don’t trust, or like. Consider whatever you want, done,” Desa crept to the edge of the bed, pushing herself onto her knees. Negan’s arms snaked around her waist, while hers slipped around his neck. His kisses were desperate, needy. As were Desa’s.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful.”

“So are you. Now get dressed — I’m making us both breakfast.”

“Why is your bat named Lucille?”

Negan nearly choked on his glass of water, coughing while Desa awaited an answer. She’d sprung the question after they’d ate, hoping Negan would be a bit more compliant with food in his stomach. The glare he sent her way was enough to tell her that she’d been wrong.

“I named her after someone I fucking knew. That’s all.”

“That’s pretty ambiguous.”

“It’s meant to be. It’s a sob fucking story and not one I’m in the mood to tell,” Negan leaned back in his chair. “Hell, there’s still stuff I don’t know about you.”

“Like…?” 

“Little tidbits of your life before everything went to shit. Why the fuck you stayed with Mother and Father for so damn long…” 

“I wasn’t at all interesting before the world went to shit. As for the second part, I stayed because we were given food and water, and Jack was relatively safe. Anytime that boy saw a biter, he’d climb a tree. He would have died out there.”

“It’s a damn shame I never got to meet him.”

“You would have liked him,” Desa smiled sadly. “What’s done is done. I can’t be like I was when Mom and Dad and my sister died. I can’t.”

Negan stared longingly, ducking his head when Desa lifted hers. “You said to me a while ago…that you don’t feel shit. You just deal with it. I know that feeling.” 

“It’s the only way to keep yourself from going crazy.”

“Yeah,” Negan said distantly. He was looking at something behind Desa — something through the window, though his gaze was off. In a quiet voice, he said, “Don’t fucking move, Desa.”

Desa’s shoulders went rigid, and she remained deathly still. Still peering past her shoulder, Negan murmured, “There’s someone fucking watching us. Right against that tree near the courtyard. I can fucking see them.”

“Just one?”

“So far, yeah,” Negan said. He finally looked away, gesturing of Desa to stay seated while he stood, grabbing his dishes and placing them in the sink. 

“The truck is parked out back.”

“Good. Go to it,” Negan said, scrubbing his plate. “There’s a handgun in the glove compartment—“

Their watchers gave them no time to move. Glass shattered behind Desa and she screamed, falling to the floor. Ceramics plates shattered, and the wooden cabinets became peppered with bullets. Desa kept her head down, crawling beneath the table while Negan slipped into the hallway. 

“Desa! Go to the fucking car—”

Gunfire erupted from the right side of the house. Desa heard the chandelier shatter and fall with a tremendous crash to the ground. Voices echoed around the building. 

“Go,” Negan hissed, drawing his own gun. “Fucking go—”

Desa made a mad dash towards the back porch, bursting through the door and onto the grass. The truck was parked on the wraparound driveway — as Desa wrenched open the door, she immediately popped open the glove compartment, pulling out the handgun. 

The windows shattered from a barrage of bullets. Desa peered over the hood, raising the weapon and firing. Her attacker — a silent, masked figure, toppled. 

Negan burst out the door, Lucille in hand. The moment he leaped into the passengers seat, Desa inserted the keys and floored it. They tore out the open gate, ducking as a final bullet destroyed the back windshield. 

“Shit.”

“That’s an understatement,” Desa let out a breath, the roar of the wind causing her eyes to water. She glanced over at Negan, letting out a small chuckle. “No time for fun anymore, right?”

“No time to let our fucking guard down,” Negan spat. He raised one gloved hand to his forehead, adding, “You think those were Father’s guys?”

“They had masks, so I couldn’t recognize them,” Desa said, easing off the gas a little bit when she realized that they weren’t being followed. “I don’t know how many of Father’s people survived. I looked at all the bodies in the courtyard…not everyone was there.”

“They’re fucking stupid if they think they can take the Estate back,” Negan said. “Father is fucking stupid. Once we figure out where they all are, we’ll fucking kill them—”

Negan’s words were abruptly cut off when a van careened into the center of the intersection, slamming hard into the side of the truck. Whatever glass remained shattered. Desa experienced the brief sensation of being airborne while strapped to her seat, mouth open as she let out a scream. 

The truck landed on it’s roof, the metal crumpling beneath the asphalt. 

Silence.

Desa could see out the window — the van’s hood was crumpled, but the truck had taken the force of the hit. She turned to Negan — his eyes fluttered and he shook his head, looking dazed and confused. The moment he realized what had happened, he cursed.

“Where’s the gun?”

Desa craned her neck. She extended an arm, grasping the handgun from when it had fallen. Her ears were ringing and her limbs were shaking. A pair of boots stopped next to the flipped vehicle, and Desa raised the gun, taking aim while Negan began struggling to remove his seatbelt. 

Still wearing a seatbelt during the end of the world? 

Safety first.

The boots didn’t move.. Negan stopped, tilting his head to the side. Then, in a quiet voice, he said, “Holy fuck. Those are my boots.”

“I know. They fit me well,” the figure got onto it’s knees, and Desa angled the gun. She heard an audible click come from behind her, sighing when she felt the cool barrel of a rifle against the back of her head. The figure said, “If you even point that weapon in my direction, I’ll kill you. Lower the gun, Desa. Let’s talk.”

Desa dropped the gun. It clattered against the upside down ceiling of the car. The rifle against her head eased back a little, but she could still feel the barrel brush her hair. Whoever it was, they were crouching, poking the weapon through the destroyed window. 

“Fuck you,” Negan growled. The moment Father’s head popped into view, Negan lashed out, fingers clawing at his face. Father drew his head back, smiling with amusement. 

“I abhor foul language,” Father said. “There’s no reason to curse because you can’t make your point.” 

Negan glared. 

Father walked around the car, forcing Desa to turn her head as he rounded on the drivers side door. He knelt once more, and Desa could only snarl. When he reached for her, she opened her mouth and attempted to snap off his fingers.

“You always liked to bite,” Father murmured. “We’ll have to fix that as well. Amy, round them up. We need to get back before the sun sets.”

[galacticbugman]

My Winter Vacation PT. 1

Hello nature geeks this is Galactic Bug Man and last year during Christmas time I had a fun trip down at the coast. Yes I just had get a photo like this, and no this was on my own terms and not my parents doing I am just that crazy to do silly things like this. I love sharks and thought this would be kind of fun to hang up during Shark Week this year. Anyway I took a trip down around Chorpus and boy what a time I had. I don’t get to go to the beach too often but in the last few years I have made three trips out there to see what I could find and do. We had a blast. We did so much and I thought it was time that you guys had an update of what I did over my winter break last year. I know it is spring now but c’mon I had a lot of stuff happen in my life recently so cut me some slack please. 

Ah Corpus Christi one of the many places along the coast of Texas where you can enjoy the water, birds, and of course get a nice cheese burger in paradise (yes I listen to Jimmy Buffet and I do like a good cheeseburger when I go down to Corpus). I took this shot the last night we stayed there. Ah the wind was cool and the sky was a deep purple red. The moon was full and the birds calls were just music to my ears. I have had a rough time with my grandmother’s passing that I needed to get a away from the chaos. I had a rough semester last year that I needed some time to reflect, relax, and to contemplate my thoughts and make some new memories and get used to things without her. What better way to get your mind eased then to go to the beach. The beach is my preferred place to go or to look at when I am feeling down or depressed. It was a lovely trip full of wildlife and fun things to do. We wound up doing more than we bargained for which only added to the adventure. 

 On our way to Aransas National Wildlife Refuge we made a quick stop at a place called Indian Point Park which was not on the list of places to go but it was really neat. They had a nice area out there full of birds. My aunt stopped for she saw some Roseate Spoonbills as you see here feeding in the shallow water of this salt marsh. Some of you may not know this but I am an avid birder and bird watcher when I am not looking for insects. Winter time is the perfect time to go down to the coast to get birds you don’t often see in the summertime. Beach time is not just for summer. 

Some American Avocets were also in the feeding group. These guys stayed mostly too themselves and didn’t get too close to the Spoonbills. The Black-necked Stilts which were also out there early that morning stayed to themselves in a tighter group totally isolated form the other birds. There were also a few Tri-colored Herons around in the tall grasses too but I was not able to get any great photos of them. They were further out in the tall grass and even though I got a new camera I was having a hard time with the shadows. I got a new camera because my Nikon was getting all messed up. I got a pretty good deal for it on Black Friday and I love it. It takes some pretty nice photos of birds I normally can’t get that are way out away from the humans. So on this trip I was able to get several shots of many different birds that I wouldn’t have been able to get with my old Nikon Coolpix L830. I now have a Canon EOS Rebel T6 which was a very nice upgrade from my Nikon. Sorry I am getting off topic here. So the feeding group had a lot too it. We got up really early and ate our breakfast and got on the road around 10:00 and made it to this park pretty quickly because it wasn’t that far from our hotel. We went down the road that weaved around this park and did some more exploring.  We made our way to a little parking lot with a dock near it. We all piled out of the car and did some further exploring. I went near some rocks where I found this guy. 

This Long-billed Curlew was just beyond the rocks I was watching him from. He was in the shallows of the shore looking around for something to snack on. I love watching shore birds feed as they dip their bills in and out of the sand looking for tasty morsels to eat. It is fun to watch as some birds do it in groups and it is like an all you can eat buffet. This guy seemed to be all alone on the shore and I soon finished my observation of him and went on to see what I could find elsewhere at the park. 

We went along the to the fishing pier where a bunch of people were currently fishing at. Along the beach the water was very clear and in the water I was able to get a few shots of our state shell which is none other than the Texas Lighting Whelk. The shore was just dotted in these shells. You would see one then as you looked around every few feet of beach you could see them all spread out. There was about sixteen or so I kind of had to fudge on the estimate just to make a round about estimation. There were a lot of these. I had never noticed the patterns very closely before but they were very beautiful indeed. The creamy white color with the darker maroon stripes was just very interesting to note. This was not all that we would see on our little adventure it was only just beginning. 

  In the deeper waters as we went further out past the sandy shores I looked over the edge and spotted this Sea Nettle Jellyfish. This was the second Jellyfish that I have seen alive and have on my iNaturalist account. I never seem to do anything without out in nature without documenting stuff to the iNaturalist database/ social media/ wildlife site. It is one of the best tools to learn about the wildlife around you. The jellyfish was just floating in place. He would often ungulate that huge dome up and down which was very entertaining to watch. The last time I was down there was during the time of the Padre Island National Seashore Turtle Release and Scout Days. We went to the U.S.S. Lexington Museum by the Bay and when we left the museum I saw my first Moon Jelly bobbing up and down in the water next to the mighty ship. This just gave me a small boost to my aquatic life forms list. I don’t know about some people but I always like to keep a life list of all that I see and hear. Some people only keep check lists of birds but for me I like to keep a spreadsheet of all the wildlife I encounter using the data mainly from again my iNaturalist account. I am a firm believer in making a difference with citizen science and iNaturalist is a very helpful tool to learn about all about the wildlife that you encounter. I have been using it for a long while and I officially have 5,771 observations in total but I have seen 1,370 species at last count and that is using it over a four year period. This year will be my fourth year using it. I am so glad I use it; it is fun to use it and learn the names of all the wildlife that see. In most cases people grow up knowing something in nature but don’t know what it is name wise. with the iNaturalist app it can give you that information because a team of scientists or avid nature fans will tell you exactly what said creature is. That is how I know most of this stuff. The birds I am able to use guides on to figure out their names but when I am unsure like in most of my insect and spider cases I use iNaturalist to help me better understand an organism. 

Sorry I went off topic again but it just comes to show that I am really passionate about such things when I am on the go and on an new adventure. 

What is Corpus Christi without the USS Lexington CV-16 standing watch over the coastline at the JFK Causeway Bridge. I been to that museum as I mentioned it may not be nature but it is history and nature and history go hand in hand I find. The museum is a fantastic place and it is basically the whole ship. You go from deck to deck and explore nearly the whole ship’s interior. I find a lot of that kind of stuff interesting because I am kind of a history nut. I like to read about boats and things since I am a Trekkie and Star Trek is literally based off the Navy but more of a science navy. I love to read about airplanes too and among other places. I also like to visit state and national historical sites too like the Alamo and the old mission at Goliad State Historical Site. There is a lot of cool things to do and see as some of those places. Even if they don’t seem like they have wildlife you’ll be what you can find that is wild around those kinds of places. My great grandfather drove a Half-track in World War II and I guess that is why my family have always been history freaks. I love it though you get to learn about the most intriguing things when you study nature, history and any kind of science.  

One of the last things I would expect to find at the coast so late in the season would be a Monarch Butterfly. This guy should have already made its journey down to the Fir Forests of Mexico but this guy was a little late getting there. We found this guy at Indian Point park in the mess of vegetation that was growing out there. This guy was also with a nearby Queen Butterfly so that was kind of odd but of course first to come last to leave I guess. Still that was an interesting observation but he didn’t have a tag so I couldn't report it or call it in. Still it was a nice observation for the trip and a very unexpected one. 

When we finally arrived at Aransas National Wildlife Refuge I had to complete a mission; a mission I have been trying to fulfill since my first trip out there. I wanted to by a patch to put on my naturalist vest that I have been working on for the last few years since I got it back in 2015 or so. I was kind of nervous because the last couple of times we went out there I was unable to purchase it but I lucked out and was able to buy it on this last trip boy was I happy. This is the place where the rare and endangered Whooping Crane nest over winter. A few Whoopers have been found nesting in Louisiana but most flock here and take refuge in the tall grasses of the prairies that are there. I made a donation to the park by giving a little bit of what I had out of my bank for the restoration after the recent Hurricane Harvey which destroyed their lovely visitor center which was a pity they had so many wonderful exhibits there and a whole wildlife guide collection among other things. So I felt I need to make a contributions to the restoration of their visitors center and their ongoing efforts to protect one of my favorite birds. I have been a big Whooping Crane fan since I was a small boy. I went to this Zoo once I think it was the San Antonio Zoo and I bought a VHS tape on Whooping Cranes called Flight of the Whooping Crane and it talked about the flock on the eastern seaboard that is not a natural migration route and the people who take the ultralight aircraft path with the whoopers each year called Operation Migration. It was a video of mainly home videos showing their route and how they take care of the chicks and the adult birds. I really enjoyed that video. Back in the early 1941 there was only 21 individuals but now there are 383 birds. So they are slowly regaining numbers and regaining their territory lowly but surely. They are a crane so they are not prolific at all they have maybe one or two chicks a year so survival of these birds still hangs in the balance. 

While on the trail I spotted this guy high up in the trees. This guy is called an Anhinga. Don’t let it fool you it may look like a Cormorant but actually it is a little different than a cormorant and acts differently. This is what you call a Darter. I am not sure what makes it so different form the Cormorants. A friend I have from the Fort Worth Audubon Society didn’t even know but there is a difference. I might have to go back and resort to my field guides for more details. I am not an expert I am only an amateur so bear with me okay. Now where was I... oh yes; 

We like to go out to the observation tower that was surprisingly not destroyed by the hurricane that had made a mess out of the coastline. There was a whole flock of Turkey Vultures sitting in the trees when we arrived. You know your pretty high up when you can see the backside of a vultures sitting on its perch. This guy had a real Batman stance as he sat up in the tree. My guess is that they all had a recent meal and were drying their feathers and resting. Some people just don’t like vultures. I tend to appreciate them for their good service to the planet. Without vultures the world would be a much messier place. Some one has to clean up the carcasses after something dies and the vultures may seem like an unlikely character but they play an important part as nature’s trash cleanup crew. They may have ways that are odd and kind of grotesque to us but yet it is just the way nature wanted them to be. They are pretty neat birds if you think about it. I go to a place called River Legacy in Arlington Texas a lot and I some shots of vulture’s coming in pretty close over the trees. They maybe a strange bird but man do they have power when they are flying. It is amazing to look at these wonderful birds up close. 

After we ate lunch we headed over to the Oso Bay wetland’s center which was a place I had never been too before. This place is really cool and they have a fun little area called Pelican Porch which overlooks the Oso Bay area. This was a marvilous place. It is like a little nature center with a community garden for like kids camps and things. There was a lot of stuff to see here on the day we went and there was few things I didn’t expect to see since I am from North Texas and I keep forgetting that it is warmer down south and that there are more arthropods down there in the winter time that our out to play. Let us meet a couple of them that caught my eye shall we. 

Here is one of the few spiders I saw on the trip. I bet you have never seen one of these guys before! Meet the Spiny-backed Orbweaver. These guys come in an assortment of different colors. They can be white and red, black and white, orange and black, or in this guys case yellow and back. These little guys are so cool and this female was just hanging out when I found her. I had to climb under stuff to get her backside because where my mother’s hand is she was sitting opposite and there was not a snowball’s chance in heck I would be able to ID that from that side. So I had to get on my hands and knees and crawl under her web making sure I didn’t disturb it and was able to get this shot. It was kind of tricky but the web was just high enough that I didn’t disturb her. Remember don’t do anything to disrupt the balance of nature. Messing with spiderwebs is not very smart. for one thing spiders can’t produce more silk. When they have to move to a new location they will eat that silk and move on. If you muck with it then they may not be able to restore the majority of that silk. 

Here is another one; not the Spiny-backed but another species of spiny spider known as the Spined  Micrathena. This one has an much more elongated back than the other one and has more of a starburst color pattern. This guy may not come in a whole range of colors but I am not sure I have been so busy with other observations I have not looked this one up to the fullest. Anyway still a really neat one that I liked that I thought was pretty unusual. It was my first one and a new lifer for me. 

Soon the sun began to sink slowly in the west and we went to one last stop before turning in that night before going to Padre Island National Seashore before heading back home. Let me share with you a couple of that night’s observations before I close the gate on part one of my most recent major excursion at the coast. 

So this is where we came in. A peaceful serene look over the bay with A&M Corpus Christi in the back with the full moon above. Talk about a shot! I am going to hang this up in my room when I get a chance to put it in a frame. This is one of my favorite shots from the trip but being there in person was really memorable. I loved being there at Hans & Suter Wildlife Refuge. Not a bad little spot to end the day of hiking and wildlife watching and wildlife photography. 

A lovely shot of a Brown Pelican passing by the covered end of the boardwalk under a red sky. My what a shot. Some of the best photos from my new camera were taken on this trip and this was one of them. Frankly I would have liked to have stayed a little bit longer but I am being told that we will most likely go to Colorado this Summer so that will be a fun trip to get some observations from the mountains and go to some of the old favorite places and some places I have never been before and revisit some of the old memories up there. My I love traveling to get photos and to spend time with those I love the most. I needed this vacation. It was a good trip where I just lost myself completely in the personal discovery of new places and new species to add to my life list. This is what I live for. Just to let loose and hang out among wildlife and explore culture, history, and science all in one swing. 

When we wrapped up our second day which was the day we had the full day to explore we said goodbye to Hans & Suter Wildlife Refuge but not before this little Loggerhead Shrike landed on this info board and posed for me. I was not expecting this little bird to make a surprise entrance as we were making our exit. It was pretty dark and I had a little trouble getting the shot but the end result was absolutely incredible. I sure enjoyed my time at this place and all the other places I explored. Up next is part 2. of my Coastal trip where I will tell more of the unexpected trip turns we took during our Whirlwind trip across the Lonestar State. 

[too-many-fandoms666]

Aot/Batboys

Thanks to @cait-writes-stuff for helping me write this and to @dc-comics-imagines for giving me this idea a long time ago. 

tagging: @rubywolf12 @dragonempress123 @fvckthebatboys

Bruce's pov  

I was on patrol when a wire hooked onto the wall next to my head. Another went to the wall next to me. A girl was lifted up wearing some weird outfit. She was wearing a white/gray pants. Belts crossed her chest, going over her shoulders, which is hidden by her cropped brown jacket that had some weird symbol on it. It was white and blue and looked like it had wings. Two belts was wrapped on both of her thighs. A dark green cape was on top of everything. She was also wearing brown boots that went up to right underneath her knees. Around her hips, looked like really heavy metal boxes. She reached down to those boxes and grabbed onto one of the handles on the metal boxes. She pulled it out revealing a long sword. She put it up to my neck, walking closer to be holding the sword up on my neck, pressing it down even harder. Somehow it started to cut into my suit.

As she was walking closer and closer to me she had started speaking in Japanese.

‘Who the fuck are you and where am I?’ She kind of looks like one of those anime characters that Tim keeps on talking about.

‘ANSWER ME!! WHERE AM I?’ She kept on yelling at me and I had no idea what to do. I tried to lift my hand so I can call Tim but every time I tried to move she pressed her weapon harder into my neck.

She finally gave up and started to run off of the building. She jumped off and the wires came out as she lifted herself up. Swinging on buildings.

As I watch her I call Tim.

“Red Robin is there an anime where they have giant pieces of metal around their hips?”

“Yes there is. It's called Attack on Titans. It's placed in the 700’s where these ginormous creatures called Titans was wiping out mankind and people have to kill them but they have to be trained. In which they will have that metal box. It's called the 3D maneuver gear. It's so they can travel faster and higher to kill them. It's one of my favourite animes. Why are you asking?”

“I'm asking because a girl I'm sure just threatened me while wearing a uniform and had on a 3D maneuver gear.”

“I'm on my way over to where you are”

*Time skip to Tim and Bruce capture her and bring her to the cave and it's in 3 person*

Tim walked into the room that Damian and Dick was sitting in, watching the girl. She was sitting in a car sipping on some black tea. Everytime she moves the boys are ready to jump and see if she's going to do anything.

“Guys calm down, she's drinking tea. I have something that can have us be able to communicate to her. When I put this earpiece on her, when she speaks we hear English but when we speak she hears Japanese.” Tim walked over to here and puts it in her ear. A microphone is attached to it. He positioned it to be above her mouth.

“Excuse me Miss can you understand us?” Damian rolled his eyes

“Drake it isn't going to wor-”

“Yes I can understand you. Now can you guys finally answer my questions?” Damian looked up at her in shock.

“What? You've never seen a woman speak? And for starters what's up with the ridiculous outfits your wearing right now?” She started off. Dick just smiled and grabbed her hand.

“Well aren't you a pretty one?” Dick tried to lift up her to his mouth so he could kiss it, but she took her hand away from him. As she did that she lightly backhanded him in the face. She reached for her pocket and showed him an engagement ring.

Dick looked insulted as her watched her put on the ring on her ring finger. Rubbing his cheek while pouting.

“If you're engaged why aren't you wearing your ring?” Dick said all irritated.

“I don't wear it because I'm constantly fighting titans and I don't need their blood covering my ring. My fiancee is a clean freak so everything must stay clean and that includes my ring”  Tim looked confused by that statement.

“Clean freak? You're engaged to Levi Ackerman! The Lance Corporal Levi?!?”

“Yes that’s him, why do you ask?” Tim looked shocked (Jungshooked im sorry)

“Levi is the best character there! He’s my favourite, than its you, and third is Eren. This is so exciting! I wonder if the manga actually has you guys engaged because what I’ve read you guys barely talk to each other. Unless what you're living is like the behind the scenes and the readers/watchers don’t really know what's going on” Tim was rambling to himself has he's walking upstairs to find a way to send her back while Damian and Dick is staring at Tim weirdly because they haven’t seen him so awake in a long time. ‘Maybe I should start watching this anime’ both boys thought of.

Damian turned to the woman sitting there now with her empty cup of tea and started asking questions.

“How old are you?” “28”

“What’s your name?” “Y/n”

“Speaking of the way Drake over there was talking about you, I’m assuming you’re good with fighting.”

“One of the best”

“Fight me than” “I don’t fight children” Damian looked like he was pouting as if he wanted to see her fight “but I will fight that one. He pisses me off” Y/n had pointed to Dick and gotten up. She took off her jacket, 3D maneuver gear, and her weapons. She walked over to where the training mat is. Dick looked at Damian confused on why she thinks she has a chance at going against him. She wasn’t the one that had trained against the Batman why would she have a chance to win. With hesitation he slowly walked over and got into a fighting position while she was just standing there. Dick raised his fists up getting ready to through the first punch thinking ‘this is going to be so ea- as he had thought that she had caught the fist he had thrown and swung her leg at his face. Sending him to the ground. Y/n was still holding onto his fist not letting go of it and not giving him the chance to take it out of her hand she climbed onto his back causing his shoulder to go and is now tugging at the muscles. The way shes holding him could make him pass out between five to twenty seconds depending on his pain tolerance. She let go of his fist and climbed off of him.

She walked back to see her empty teacup was now refilled and still hot. Y/n slowly was starting to sip at her tea, putting back on her jacket.

Tim walked downstairs to find Damian laughing at the broken looking Dick, Dick pouting, and Y/n calmly sipping her tea. He decided to ignore what was going on with the two boys and went over to Y/n.

“So I found a way to get you back. The same place you came here is the place you have to go to. The portal will open up again in ten minutes and will only be open for 30 seconds.”

“Ok”

“There you are brat” Levi walked up to Y/n seeing that her hair was messy he fixed it and hugged started to hug her.

Instantly letting go, he asked “Where did you go? You said that you were going to the bathroom. It’s been ten minutes and why do you look like that?” 

“I don’t know Levi I thought I saw something so I walked towards it and something crazy happened and now I’m here” Levi gave Y/n one of his rare smiles isn’t rare around her anymore and dragged her back to bed.

[tumblueberry]

OC Interview

RULES

1. PICK ONE OF YOUR CHARACTERS

2. FILL IN THE QUESTIONS/STATEMENTS AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE.

3. TAG  PEOPLE TO DO THIS MEME.

Stole this from @queen-scribbles​ and @galagraphia​ because they did it for their Watchers in PoE and I want in too :) Not gonna tag any of you guys, but if you have a Watcher too I’d love to hear from them!<3

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

It’s Arianna.

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?

Ah, do you want the whole thing...? I’d be called Arianna dels Clau when my mother lived, so if you need a surname, feel free to use that.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT?

I never asked my mother, but she never told me we had any relatives with the same name or if it meant anything for her, so I guess she just liked it. Clau, though, comes from the fact that my parents kept the keys of most of the stuff whe had around the caravans. They made sure everything was safe... kind of like housekeepers but on the road? Never used that name myself, I left the caravan when mother passed away.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?

Before this goes further, I’m not open to flirting with strangers, thanks for your interest.

But yeah, single.

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS?

HAH! *coughs* Guess I am pretty good at giving people hope and keeping bad guys away, besides the fact that now I can read souls and talk to the dead not only because I’m a priest of Berath.

6. STOP BEING A GARY STU.

Weary stew...? Or... is that Glanfathan? I’m sorry, I can’t speak that language. We can talk in Vailian if you want to, though!

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR?

Brown, as you can see *smiles warmly*

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR?

Brown also! If you’re asking because you see some parts slightly lighter that’s caused by so many hours walking under the sun. That can damage your hair pretty badly... and I haven’t been very careful lately...

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?

None that I know of. Father passed away when I was a kid, mother followed him a few years ago and left the caravan after that... I guess they were kind of a family for a while, but no relatives left, no.

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS?

Oh, good! I like to talk about our pets. They ours, all of the team takes care of them, their our responsibility! How can you leave those poor creatures on their own? These are dark times, animals suffer the most... So far we’ve resqued a few dogs, I let Éder take care of them because he loves them so much, it’s adorable! But I keep a couple of spiders, a little white dragon and two cats. I make sure all are taken care of play with them when we have some time. I can’t wait to finish the reforms at Caed Nua so they all have their on little beds, toys and plenty of space to play and sleep and be happy!

11.  NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE.

Hmm. I don’t like bullies and liars. I try to forgive and give second chances, but when it’s others who are suffering I can’t be that... grey. I also don’t like to walk under the rain.

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING?

Playing with our pets! Taking naps by the fire in my room at Caed Nua, listening to Kana’s music, and dancing! I like helping around at this... home we’re building together, fixing doors, painting walls, all that stuff... It’s relaxing.

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?

Sadly, yes. I guess you could add that to the list of things I don’t like.

14. EVER….KILLED ANYONE BEFORE?

Yes. Not for pleasure. Never.

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?

Er... I guess if I had to pick an animal I relate to the most, I don’t know, I like dogs?

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS.

Some people say I shouldn’t ask so many questions. Others say I shouldn’t be so nice to strangers, or give them money, or turn down the money they want to give me after I find their stuff in the woods. What I SAY is that I shouldn’t talk to Berath while I’m on the bathroom or wash the blood out of my clothes before I go to talk to people... especially at little towns where people can get very scared of, you know, strangers bathed in blood.

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL?

Mother. She was the kindest person I’ve ever known. As well as the priest I learned the most of when I left the caravan. I aspire to be as kind hearted and selfless, to keep the balance in the world, to help others.

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

*Takes a long breath* And I thought we were getting deep with the questions. As I said before: I’m not open to flirting with strangers, it makes me feel uncomfortable and it’s creepy. But yeah, I guess I like men...?

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?

Haven’t been in any. I learnt everything from the adults when I lived on the road and then had to read a lot and learnt a lot of other stuff when I left it and joined the priests of Berath.

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY?

I... uhm. Hmf. I never really found it apealing but who knows. I see why people would like to do it, though, so... If I ever find a nice man who’d want to, perhaps?

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS?

Nah, I don’t think so. Uhm. Now that I think about it, people is starting to recognize me on the street of some towns and some roads, that’s weird.

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?

And back to the deep questions! Heh! *sigh* I guess I’m afraid of losing myself to this Watcher thing. I’ve seen what an awakening can do to people, I wouldn’t like to experience it in my own flesh. Losing your mind like that... Losing the ones I love, the friends I’ve met in this crazy journey, too. I’m not very fond of losing things I cherish as you can see.

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?

Something practical and personal enough to feel comfortable in it. My armor for my travels, good pair of shoes for walking, warm clothes when it’s cold... but I’m not afraid of pretty dresses, bows and lace either! One can look nice and kick bandits’ asses. Although I don’t recommend kicking asses while wearing heels.

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?

No... no? I mean I love our pets! And my new friends. They’ve helped me so much through all this crazyness. It’s nice to have them arround. Especially Aloth and Éder, they’ve been there from the very beginning of my travels in these lands and haven’t left me yet, must be a good sign, right? Hahah! I hope it is. Well, I hope he- theeey don’t leave me. Next question!

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF?

*Looks into the interviewers eyes and raises a brow in silence* [Estoic].

....

....

When I was 5 maybe? I don’t know, man. If this is the direction the interview is going I rather go back to think about my feelings, thanks.

26. WELL, IT’S NOT OVER YET!

*Looks into the interviewers eyes and raises a brow in silence AGAIN* [Estoic].

27. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS)

Hah. Living on the road for most of my life I guess I’m low class. Or was. With all this stuff about Caed Nua people is starting to call me LADY Arianna, isn’t it weird? But it’s nice, really, I’m not complaining, hahaha!

28. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?

Now? So many! I’m meeting the most interesting people in my travels, never thought I’d do so well on my own. Especially after all that... accident with the first caravan I worked with in these lands... But things aren’t that bad now! I’m learning a lot from all my friends and I couldn’t wish for better company! *Looks at Durance* Well... most of times.

29. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?

All of them are perfect and I’d like one, please and thank you.

30. FAVOURITE DRINK?

Water if I’m thirsty, anything if I want to get drunk.

31. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE?

Oh I used to love when we traveled near a beach, I like the sound of the waves. But now that we are re-building Caed Nua, I think I like to go to the towers and look at the place. Just be there and look at that piece of land. And my room there, I never thought it would be so nice to have one. I feel relaxed and safe surrounded by my friends there.

32. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE~

No...? No. Nah, I don’t think so, I can’t, I don’t think, I mean, it’s not like it’s happening anyways so why bother? He’s got nice eyes, that’s all, I don’t have a crush, hahahahahaha. No.

33. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY?

Okay, dear, I don’t like to be harsh but asking those questions is rude, you may make people uncomfortable, like it’s the case, or furious, like it might be the case in a few minutes if you don’t stop. Next question?

34. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?

No THIS question I like! Definitely the ocean. The beach is still on of my favourite places to go, and almot any beach is perfect to go for a swim. It was very nice to be near the coast when we traveled to Defiance Bay.

35. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?

Of what? OH! Back at it, I see. I... like men with pretty eyes and pretty hair, I guess. Someone I can enjoy a quiet time at the library? Share some thoughts and drinks? Someone who appreciates my silence too, sometimes I rather keep to myself. He’s- should be okay with my, ehr, condition, I suppose. Next question?

36. ANY FETISHES?

I’m a priest of Berath but I’m not very fond of fetishes. Wait, what do you- Ah. No.

37. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE?

Again, I’m Vailian, I don’t- I’m not good with other languages really. About the rest of this weird question, I’m not answering,dear, that’s also very rude.

38. CAMPING OR INDOORS?

That’s better. I suppose I can say that technically I’ve been camping my whole life, so that’s the default for me. Although if you think a caravan can be considered “indoors” then definitely I prefer to sleep indoors. Nowadays I’m getting used to sleep at inns or my own room. I’m not complaining! Hahah!

39. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END?

I don’t mean to be rude, dear, but I think we’ve talked for long enough and some questiong were a bit out of place, to be honest, so I think we can part ways and go back to work. So much to do! So little time! Thanks for your time, ask for whatever you need at the exist, have a nice day!

[aberaham]

Slicing of Life

- 06. february 2017 -

Heya Guys 'n' Gals,

it is February and that means for me to slowly start doing a lot of paperwork. Either it is cleaning up my desk and drawers of bills and official letters or applying for a lot of different stuff. This is work which annoys me the most. I wish I had a secretary... Dreams...

Anyway! Work related it is going quite well. Not in the meaning I make good money but enjoying what I'm doing and being inspired and motivated all the way. Here and there I get small requests from friends or people friends know. But that's the way it starts right? Making connections, creating different pieces of work to show around and eventually becoming moderately successful. Obviously, I'm trying to be active in all the Websites I'm on. Empty actually suggested Instagram to me, so I'm going to check this out soon as well. Sooner or later I'll probably be everywhere. I hope I can manage all those Accounts of mine.

The latest Website I enjoy is Tapastic. This page is exclusively for Comics. I upload Abesome Life regularly there and hope to get some new followers through that. At the moment I only have old pages on there but around the end of this month, I gonna start uploading Tuesdays and Thursdays a new Page each. Stand today is that I have material up until early May. I produce several Pages up front so there won't be a gap. That I can keep this up is also thanks to Tapastic. I found and started reading several webcomics on there which kept me inspired for my own comic. Mostly the Slice of Life genre. I put Abesome Life into that genre tag as well, so it is obvious that similar comics inspire me to continue and give me new ideas. In beforehand I often struggle what to transform into a comic page, but reading different Slice of Life comics I grabbed the inspiration right out of it. I don't say I taking ideas right from these comic. I mean I saw what situations they used to make a comic and I looked at my life and found more and more situations which are comic worthy.

I think inspiration works often that way. If you need some for your work just look at similar work from others and you become inspired.  For example, when I watch movies or series I get often ideas for my own stories. It is just you don't need to force yourself to make something unique out of nothing. We live in a time where a lot of people created a lot of unique stuff. Then came other people took that idea and put their own spin on it. There is no shame in that. If you like something you should hold it tight. But don't just copy it. This is cheap and actually theft. Ideas can't be forced, they just come to you and some people have the luck that nobody before them thought of that.

Of course, there are tons of Slice of Life webcomics out there, but I put my own spin on Abesome Life and some people seem to enjoy it. Sure it is no Calvin and Hobbes, Sarah's Scribbles or Simons Cat but it is Abesome Life and that is just as great.

A detour into the 90's

I recently started to watch Full House on Netflix again and I realized how good the shows of the 90's are. Of course, the singing and dancing all the time is a bit cringy but overall the show is very good.  It keeps you stand by for the whole episode, the season and the whole show. Maybe it's just nostalgia, but I feel like the characters do realistic stuff. Nothing where the watcher thinks "Well, that was obviously stupid and unnecessary.". The people act just they need to in their respective ages and in their role their playing. I feel like I can't explain it right but in modern shows, you always get the same base characters and they act all the same. You have a hero and he acts heroic. He has his problems he needs to solve and so on so on. I feel like today you can't create a normal Family themed TV show without getting ridiculous. A normal Family with normal problems would just be too boring so we need to have crazy situations. But not the shows from the 90's. All I saw was how they taught the kids to be nice to each other, not lie, don't steal and so on. Also, the grown ups have normal problems. Where do you see that in a modern Family themed show?

Anyway, I'm curious how Fuller House is after I finished Full House. After all, this is the reason why I started watching Full House again. I hope it's reminiscent of Full House.

Keep your desks clean

Abe