#you guys know I hate stabler

[boyapologist]

season one is so fucking BORING I'm 8 episodes in and I wanna off myself

[alienfailboy]

it's really crazy that people don't know that their favorite shows are propaganda

like i am a law and order svu enjoyer and i have watched every inch of criminal minds but you all can see that the cops are made to be likable and they're not actually like that. right?

[dreamytfw]

Using one of @bardicious's tags as an excuse to nerd out about one of my favorite critiques ❤️

So late-stage SPN has a BIG problem with telling and not showing. It's ESPECIALLY bad in the Dabb-era, and Dean telling Mary that solitary was worse than Hell is THE example for this.

Let's start out by establishing that solitary confinement is a form of torture. Humans are a social species above all else and we tend to suffer A LOT of adverse effects if we're completely cut off from any and all social interaction. I am by no means an expert in this - I'm a just a nerdy information junky - so I'm going to leave a TedX talk here that describes what happens to prisoners who go through solitary confinement

I knew all of this before the episode aired, so I had no problem believing Dean when he said that being in solitary was worse than Hell. So I was genuinely shocked when most people walked away from that line going "pft, yeah right. Dean's tougher than that!"

So I went back and rewatched the scene. That's when I realized that the show does a fuck awful job at communicating what solitary confinement does to someone. Like, seriously. I would include a clip here, but I couldn't find it on youtube, so go and rewatch it again or look at a gif set if you need a refresher, I guess.

Their first mistake was breaking up the scenes of Sam and Dean in solitary. I don't know whose decision this was (probably Singer since he was director, but I don't know for sure), but it's a very bad one because it breaks up the mind-numbing tedium of solitary that the scenes should have been communicating. The first thing they do with the solitary scenes is have the anti-terrorism guy whose name I can't be bothered to look up tell Sam, Dean, and the audience that they're going to lose their minds before they get locked in. Dean counts the days with a loose screw (HAHA GET IT??? 'CAUSE HE HAS A SCREW LOOSE!! I hate you Andrew Dabb), Sam and Dean's different reactions to the prison food, them pacing their much too large for solitary cells, Sam working out a couple of times, and... that's it. Also who the FUCK decided Dean would have a razor in solitary that man would NOT have a razor jfc. A good chunk of the shots are wide shots of the cells, too, so the scenes don't even get across a sense of claustrophobia. The only thing they communicate is boredom. Probably because Singer himself was bored because he's a boring director who makes the most boring directorial choices 9 times out of 10.

I know what they were trying to do, though. They were going for that scene in that one Law and Order SVU episode where Elliot Stabler voluntarily gets locked in solitary for 3 days and starts to lose his mind from 2009.

I want y'all to pay attention to the choices made in both the SPN and SVU scenes. The solitary scenes in SPN are brightly lit with warm colors, they have a lot of wide shots, they have a guard talk when he delivers their meals, and the music wouldn't be out of place in an action movie. Hell, these whole scenes wouldn't feel out of place in an action movie.

Meanwhile, the SVU scene is dark and lit with green (green lighting isn't something that tends to occur naturally IRL, so a lot of the time green lighting in film is used to denote that something is wrong), the cell is A LOT smaller and more accurate to solitary cells in real life, the overwhelming majority of shots are TIGHT on Elliot's face to communicate the claustrophobia he's feeling, the shots that show all of the cell are shot through a grate to show how caged he feels, and the music is dissonant and off-putting with hallucination murmurs (I've had a couple of episodes of psychosis before, and SVU fucking NAILED what minor auditory hallucinations sound like). The SVU scene is shot like a horror movie.

I'd also like to look at the acting choices (or lack thereof. J2 stans, if this section bothers you, log off and go hug your pet or smth idk). imo Jared makes better choices than Jensen in the solitary scenes. Sam at least looks stressed and on edge. While Dean just... I'm sorry, but the man is blue steel-ing all over the place and it just makes him look bored and mildly annoyed 😭 Meanwhile, Chris Meloni goes from mildly bored when he first gets locked in, to actively stressed, to completely terrified by the end of the scene. This is not me saying that Chris Meloni is a better actor even though he is fuck you fight me. I don't know how many choices came down to the actors and how many came down to the directors. For all I know, Jared and Jensen would have also made similar choices to Meloni if they'd had a director who wasn't scared of doing anything interesting and could be bothered to collaborate with his actors like directors are supposed to do.

What I am saying (or trying to, at least) is that, in-universe, 6 weeks of solitary likely was worse than Hell for Sam and Dean. Like, at least Dean had some semblance of sensory input and got to interact with other people while he was being carved up. The problem is late stage SPN is incredibly lazy and can't be bothered to communicate that to its audience by showing us. Dabb and Singer just expected us to hear "you're going to lose your minds" before the solitary scenes, then hear "this was worse than Hell" after the solitary scenes, and expected us to just nod along and smile, no thoughts, head empty. Unfortunately for them, we're not stupid and SPN is a TV show, so if you don't show the audience, what you tell them is going to ring incredibly hollow. And that's exactly what happened for the overwhelming majority of fans.

TLDR: solitary confinement is torture, late stage SPN is bad at its job of showing and not telling, and we should abolish the American penal system in its entirety.

[storiesofsvu]

Alright. It’s Thursday let’s see how tonight goes…

Weird opening that’s for sure

That blue suit on mechad is fucking gorgeous

Wtf is happening?!!!!?? Is this gonna be one of those twisty episodes? We’re only halfway through…

YES! SAM! Give her more screen time PLEASE

The like, main thing here would be finding the dancer, yes?

The lawyers have a good point with this recording, but it’s all speculation at this point…

I KNOW I know this defence attorney from somewhere… hold pls while I try to figure it out lol

Goddammit it’s not on imdb yet…

Okay so defence found the witness and honestly that just made everything way more complicated. YES, he killed the guy in (self) defence/trying to help/save the girl, BUT he’s still a racist pos who strangled the guy for three minutes after he stopped breathing. Also what was going on with the vic on the train? Cause he defs seemed out of it…

Ohhkay, an asthma attack, that makes sense. Reaching for the inhaler. Got it

Okay, y’all I’m sold on the new DA guy who came from scandal.

What is it with cop shows having very racist/sexist people/witnesses and choosing to send in their poc/women to figure details out.

OOHHH WE LOVE A GOOD UC STORYLINE! IS THIS GONNA BE A MULTI EP ARC?! A CROSSOVER?! (I know im clowning over a crossover, you don’t need to tell me)

That was a really good ep tbh.

*

Okay we all know I’m ignoring TO.

If anyone has any good ideas for a relatively affordable vacation over July/august that wouldn’t be too fucking hot, pls lmk.

*

Svu time!

Woof talk about a dark open

Also… it’s giving little mermaid…. The whole hazy can’t see her but she’s rescuing him and keeping him safe??

…pants around the ankles? Okay wait so something else happened in there?

WHERE! IS! VELASCO!

FFS

“EVERYONE IS ON MANDATORY OT” REALLY?! I REPEAT WHAT I JUST SAID!!

If they’re gonna be fucking rotating cast members, they should be rotating the ones who aren’t officially part of the squad. Curry was on last week, she should be gone this week.

Oh it was a man in the little mermaid vibes, my bad lol

….at least bruno’s here..

Okay… this girl’s apartment layout is the same as olivia’s (old?) one? (the one where noah was a toddler and up on the counter stealing cookies..) they really all about reusing sets aren’t they? Yet they make olivia’s apt completely different each ep…

Also I lowkey love all the fairy lights and art she’s got up, she’s made this place super cozy and calming and I dig it. Like I legit want that little tree with the fairy lights she has… catch me on amazon later.

Okay but like, if you were beat that bad and fighting for your life, there’s definitely a chance of hallucinating someone..

Bruno can yell at me any day…. Just sayin.

Why cant the girl with agoraphobia just fucking zoom/face time into the trial??? Like, they did that shit for younger witnesses/victims, for people already in prison/stuck in hospitals and that was all BEFORE covid…. I get that this is some kind of progress for her/olivia and more building for liv but it’s stupid…

Shout out to liv for making her office a complete safe space with the blinds drawn and candles and shit. Cute.

Okay that was an okay episode, we’re getting there slowly. I just wish we would go back to court for once. I miss my defence attorneys…

*

Lowkey hate this flashback, ngl.

 Okay…I NEED to know how old joe stabler is supposed to be. Cause the actor’s age isn’t listed on wiki/imdb, but there’s a couple pages/articles that say he’s super late 40’s, early 50’s but he could pass for late 30’s so im SO confused lol.

Ahh… okay. Glad the drugs are his and not eli’s lol

Ugh I love bell so fucking much

I really hope Bobby’s leave was written in cause the actor had another offer that he wanted to take and not one that screwed him over.

Yaaasss cragen with the distraction save!

“I thought it worked…” bruh it sure did lol

God I miss cragen’s sass and quips. Im super glad he’s open to guest star

Bell being a complete bad ass like always. Yaaas queen

Speaking of bad ass women… nicely done chief…

Oh fuck….

Okay, well that was a decent night of l&o tonight!

[causewhywouldnti]

My thoughts as I’m watching 24 seasons of law & order svu:

Season 11

Protective Elliot in 11x01, and Benson having none of it.

11x02, Benson and Stabler enjoyed looking for the Master Baiter way too much. Stablers look of shock when his date referred to him as daddy. I’m enjoying the Stabler/Paxton interactions. The daughter is a psycho, just saying.

11x03, Stabler totally pushing the dirty work on Munch and Fin. One thing I like about Stabler, he realizes when he did something wrong and apologizes. And he gets injured again. Paxton threatening Benson not to hurt the man who injured Stabler. I really did not need the cockroach scene. But it must have been fun to act the solitary confinement scene.

11x04, still enjoying the Stabler/Paxton hate. That simulated video doesn't seem ethical (I mean, the one with his face photoshopped on it). Ouch, Cragen bringing up Benson's mother alcoholism. I kind of thought that she would show the wrong video at the hearing. Oh, I want to know what that look meant between Benson and Stabler when Paxton started to get handsy with Stabler. Drunk Paxton at the court is just sad. Scott Foley is just a good actor (even though nobody cares Sean, nobody cares). Stabler came very close to swearing there.

11x05 Stabler is getting hurt again. Cabot is back again. ADA Elliot, is a fun thought, he didn't even blink. Stabler is really good with the kids. That child is gonna be scarred for life.

11x06, Porter is back. Stabler ruining all of Porter’s flirting attempts, shit eating grin and all. Stabler still can’t take a shot when Olivia is in danger. Morales knows what’s up, as soon as Porter appears, he closed everything.

11x07, dude straight up just winked at Benson and Stabler when they introduced themselves. Huang always feels personally insulted when a psychiatrist is involved.

11x08, totally on Richard's side, wouldn't want to be called Dickie either. Not sure Benson is any better than Stabler to interview these people. Anger issues seem to run in the Stabler family. That interrogation must have been awkward. Dickie really isn't pulling any punches this episode. The discussion at Elliot's desk actually makes sense, I do wonder what event Dickie referenced, when he accused Elliot of losing his mind. Benson and Stabler really hell-bent on proofing Paxton’s statement right. Wonder if Cragen really would get dropped if there’s another problem. Ah, the stomach compressions again. I mean, I get it, can’t really do chest compressions on an actress, because it could get awkward. And I said this before, but I really appreciate, that Stabler realizes when he made a mistake and tries to make it right.

11x09, Stabler taking care of Benson is really sweet, and I want her wearable blanket. Munch is that annoying friend who points out grammatical errors. Stabler attempting to kick in the door is kinda funny. Tucker will be back, won’t he? Munch trying to make Olivia feel better by telling her how horrible she looks. And here comes Tucker, don’t think this episode is going to make me like him more. Stabler is not happy with him either. Benson seeing right through Tucker when he tells her Stabler revealed information to him. Just an observation, Benson’s necklace is tighter during her interrogation than it usually is. Stabler really out there mortgaging his house for her. And I’m very sure he did not tell Kathy about it. Of course, Stabler is checking in on Benson. I did not know that you could fabricate DNA, though nothing about that can be found since 2009. Poor Callahan. I really would have liked it, if Harrison had actually been someone from a past season.

11x10, Fin is not wrong, when he tells Cragen that Benson and Stabler get to bend the rules. Munch again on the grammar control. Cabot really going after the dude in court. Well, that was a surprise ending.

11x11, that opening is just harrowing. But the grandpa is a really good guy.

11x12, Benson and Stabler being referred to as Cragen's pet detectives seems right. Stabler isn't handling it well, when Benson works with someone else. That shooting was so fake. But at least the heiress was convinced. Yep, Elliot does not like having Ash around. I commented on Beck’s good french, so i gotta comment on the heiress’s bad French.

11x13, Stabler gets injured, again. At least Benson looks after him. Babs saying Stabler has the hots for Benson, and her response being that’s never gonna happen, is really not addressing Babs accusation. The editing after the non-kiss is really weird. Probably because there actually was a kiss. Love that Benson tells the next cop to stay outside the apartment. So, does Stabler actually get a gay vibe from Benson? Stabler caught on to her interrogation tactic really quick! Benson is enjoying the Babs-Stabler kiss way too much.

11x14, that prayer scene is just really weird.

11x16, okay, so the cops irritation of the victim is very understandable. Olivia does not react well to Cragen telling her to do some sweet talk. I really liked Cabot in this episode. Nardeli's story was just sad. I felt Cabot's second exit was actually well set up and executed.

11x17, the scene where Elliot gives Olivia the car (?) keys is very domestic.

11x18, Benson undercover, that guy is a creep!!! Benson agrees. Stabler is enjoying those mattress ads a bit too much. The suspect, assuming Stabler was there for sex and immediately jumping to a threesome when Benson showed up, might be my new favorite suspect. Never heard AF be referred to as "my friend", neither did Stabler, apparently. Suspect might be my fave, but girl is weird, especially keeping the sheets with menstrual blood for 35 years. I assumed the mattress guy wasn't dead when the detective didn't let them into her apartment, still appreciated the twists though.

11x20 has Liv undercover and Elliot saving her, 11x22 has Benson and Stabler undercover as a married couple.

11x23 I enjoy Elliots bad jokes. Does Marlowe walk around with a huge stain on her blouse, or is that a pattern? I honestly can’t tell… I really don’t know why, but the son's confession was a real déjà vu, I thought I heard that word for word in an earlier episode. Might be because I’ve been binging this series for 2 months now.

11x24, Surprisingly, when Benson was out cold, Stabler actually took care of the suspect first. Kinda sad that we didn't get to see him checking on her. Not a fan of Warner. Getting shot, but her saying to get the sterile gaze and then immediately putting it on the ground if funny to me.

The first half of the season was really good, second half had it's moments.

Familiar faces: Wentworth Miller (Prison Break), Christine Lahti (Studio 60), Eric McCormack (Will&Grace), Scott Foley (Scrubs), Chris Chalk (The Newsroom), John Larroquette (House), Bruce McGill (NCIS), Thomas Sadoski (The Newsroom), Sarah Paulson (Studio 60), Nathan Lee Graham (Sweet Home Alabama), Naveen Andrews (Bride & Prejudice), Dennis Boutsikaris (House), Kathy Griffin, Richard Burgi (Desperate Housewives), Eric Lange (Fringe), Quinton Aaron (Blind Side), Renée Taylor (The Nanny), Morgan Fairchild (Friends), David Paymer (Ocean‘s Thirteen), Raphael Sbarge (OUAT) and D.W. Moffett (Switched at Birth).

Favorite Episodes: 11x03, 11x06, 11x08, 11x09 and 11x13

Favorite lines:

"I have great bedside manner." - Stabler 11x03 (not sure if he does)

"Without gallows humor, to cope with what we see every day, I’d go stark raving mad." "What do you mean go?" - Munch and Fin 11x04

"Ever sleep with your partner, Detective?" - Dickie 11x08

"They’re (Benson & Stabler) good cops. But their loyalty is to each other, not to you." - Paxton to Cabot 11x08, truer words have never been spoken.

"It’s all fun and games until someone loses a penis." - Cragen 11x09

"Are you interrogating me for murder, or are you signing me up for a dating service?" -Benson to Tucker 11x09

(Talking about the handcuffs) "I’m sorry they’re not diamond encrusted, but the Bedazzler, it went AWOL." - Stabler to an heiress 11x12

(Holding up her bulletproof vest) "Your dry cleaner have anger issues?" - Stabler to Benson 11x12

"Your attacker, was he black, white, Hispanic?" "I don’t know, I don’t know. I didn‘t ask." - Benson and a victim 11x16

[thefirsthogokage]

I have resorted to watching the three-way Law & Order Crossover Event out of boredom. Wish me luck because I have already gotten to the "Ukraine, 2022” part (aka the first second) and I am kind of sickened they are involving that.

So, anywho, if you want to read below: a) there will be spoilers. B) keep in mind I HATE the current state of Law & Order and I think if they won't bring back Criminal Intent, the whole lot of the bad ones on now should be fucking gone. You have been warned.

Reactions/Commentary For The Full Event Below The Cut

Law & Order: Organized Crime

Season 3, Episode 1: Gimme Shelter, Part 1

Cosgrove, you are a dipshit. And Jeff Donovan doesn't deserve this crap.

God this is so odd, Cosgrove's dialogue.

WHAT A GODDAMN DUMBASS, SHE TOLD YOU SHE WAS BEING CHASED!

Oh god, and of course this is OC where they do all the killing of women, Geezus Kryst.

God the bad writing makes Jeff look like such a bad actor. Or maybe he's not great (in addition to the bad writing) and he just fit on burn notice.

----

I will say, I like Jeff using his hands to describe what happens. So, not bad actor, but bad writing.

Mehcad Brooks also deserves better. He's done great acting in these first few seconds.

Wait, how long was Cosgrove's daughter there without hime? Fucking Kryst. He didn't even call her? Lovely writing, great job, team!

----

Pretty sure a detective being on scene as the first officer there would NOT be allowed to investigate. Especially out of his jurisdiction, from his jurisdiction.

----

Oh they aren't covering up Mechad's hand tat? Like, that might have been good in narcotics, but as a plain clothes detective? No way, he'd have to cover that up in a city like NY, I'm sure of it.

Nice to know the ME's place looks the same.

Also I do like this "showing around the new Homicide guy" bit. That's one point, but this is still in the negatives.

They're actually watching the autopsy? The fuck? Those take a while too. Geezus. Full on Organized Crime way of telling this story.

A John/Pimp was chasing her himself? Seriously? GFK (Geezus fucking Kryst).

----

Love Shaw trying to be like "the legal path is easy at this stage and it will keep bad shit from happening later." But unfortunately, time for Cosgrove's bullshit. But they had a fun little back and forth at the end. They actually have decent... chemistry? That doesn't feel like the right word.

----

God Mehcad makes Jeff looks so small 😂😂

----

Oh here we go, here's Liv!

Back and forth flows nicely.

---

They are elongating some shots at the end of the scene longer than necessary. Like, filming too much. Not the way these shows usually were cut.

----

And that's the way you do that, Cosgrove. Nice job Shaw.

----

Nice job Cosgrove, that totally wasn't complaint worthy *eye roll*.

----

Oh look, a wild Stabler appears. (23 minutes into his own show. And Benson was in it first 😂😂)

"You don't reach out" did...did he know OC was investigating him???

Mildly amusing that Jeff and Meloni look a little alike. I mean, all blue-eyed people have the same ancestor, right.

Wait, if Jeff and Chris are the same high, why did Jeff look taller....?

----

I like Elliot being on the other side of the hotheadedness and seeing what the fuck that's like to deal with.

Oh come on Elliot, you'll get him eventually. Fucking Kryst. "Good cop" shut the fuck up Frank.

----

I am absolutely not fond of all this "sun in the eyes angle".

----

Fucking hell this is stupid. I like this CI too. He's probably dead. Or not, but he's done with that, he's never going to gain the guy's trust.

----

Goddamn, I HATE the SVU Squad room, like, what the fuck. Do they have any excuse for it changing over the years? Genuinely curious.

They found her way too quick. UGH. Gross. Just all this is so gross.

----

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Season 24, Episode 1: Gimme Shelter, Part 2

Ugh, I regret all of this so much. On with the crap.

Their squad room set shit is so grossly cold. Like the one the the revived L&O had is that the squad room isn't the worst. This one? This one is just fuckery on the eyes. At least OC is visually followable too. And this lighting. How does anyone stand this?

----

Holding that phone like that in interrogation???

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"what's an old man to her" a very valid question about a 14 year old calling someone old.

----

No, not recording sex. Recording rape. Geezus. Bad wording.

----

This young actress is good.

----

I hate this show, but I still hate Kelli is gone because she very much seemed to love working there. I hate they booted to POC to (pay less) for one white guy.

----

"don't come in here!" Liv yells to officers who do not stop in their tracks.

I was just going to be the terrorist case they always wanted to do with the original three shows?

Ugh. I hate that Criminal Intent wasn't around for this. I really would have loved to see with those three shows would have been like in that crossover during a lot better writing in the Law and Order universe. Makes absolutely no sense that they didn't try to do another crossover like after the first season of Criminal Intent. Well I guess unless they considered it would have been too difficult given shit going on with D'Onofrio at the time. Seems like the only way they can think of doing crossovers like this is with cases that end up being a terrorism case, which just isn't true.

----

Evacuate? The fuck? How when the city is that big? How would that not get people killed in a panic? Kryst I miss peak Law and Order.

----

Well Vince is going to die. Damn shame of a talented character actor.

Fuck. Hate this. They were so slow on this. The cops, they moved in way too slow. Gross. They keep killing people on this show related to OC. Absolutely fucking hate it. Usually it's women, but ffs, it's always super disgusting. What's the fucking point of it?

----

As dumb as it is for Elliot to have tried to go after the guy, I liked that little bit.

----

God I hate this shit.

----

Oh good, Shaw speaks Spanish.

----

Why didn't you start with the amount of time on that bomb, dude?

Bad explosion graphics.

Also, why do they want to blow up NATO shit? Also how the fuck can they hear?

----

SVU, so Rollins finds her. Ok.

Oh, Rollins and Stabler cornering him. Nice.

Cosgrove took Liv's orders without question, interesting.

----

One thing they definitely get with Jeff Donovan is someone who knows not only how to hold a gun, but who has a good stance while holding it.

Nice fucking judo throw by Meloni, fuck.

----

Interesting how Cosgrove stops him, when he was angry as he was. But I guess "good cop" doesn't involve killer, even though he likes to get rough. Might have made more sense with Shaw though.

"Thanks for the" exchange was nice.

----

Law & Order

Season 22, Episode 1: Gimme Shelter, Part 3

Ugh, not looking forward to this. I mean, I'm looking forward to it being done.

"shut this city down now" which they didn't.

Probably one of the few L&O episodes to start like this. Heavy on the Order.

----

Yeah, we haven't figured out motive yet. And God does Hugh sound like a Brit speaking with an American accent is the best way I can describe it. He didn't need to even be from the US. It would have been interesting if his character was just as English as he is.

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Oh this is how the current Law & Order opening theme is? Ew.

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These law sets are great. Bright. Lively, so much better than the other two shows.

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Was, they didn't have Carisi at all, did they?

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God Mehcad is so big.

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The video quality is pretty clear, what the fuck?

Well, people are saying the legal stuff is going to shit on this show. Used to be much better.

----

Damn, Rollins was a good shot.

Oh, that was the shot that got the write out started. UGH. I hate Dick Wolf so much.

----

Once again I'm just like "the lack of Criminal Intent content is unacceptable." That fandom needs to be so, so many times larger than it is. It would be so much more popular at this time. It's like no one knows it exists. Like it was just written out of existence. Like someone tried to erase it. So fucking gross.

----

Oh Carisi. There he is.

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Oh ffs, Liv.

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Dismiss terrorism charges? Insane, given the target.

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This is probably the first original plot the revival has done.

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Oh good, Mccoy making sense.

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Oh I knew it. This guy that always plays Russians is of course playing a Russian.

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Oh they let this episode be 45 minutes. That's never a thing in TV anymore.

Oh, Hugh's character tried to help him a little late, but he did.

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God what a nothing burger of an ending. That didn't feel satisfying in anyway. Like, the guy going off to inform on Putin would have been fine. Him dying a quick death? That's a waste.

----

In Conclusion:

So, as much as I hated this, I have sadly seen them do disgustingly worse.

[novaksupremacy]

The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter 9

Chapter 9 involves the events surrounding S6E8 "Doubt" Angsty fluffy chapter, typically SVU case talk. Setting up some background for the next two-ish chapters.

Pairing: Casey Novak x Olivia Benson

Word Count: 7301

by PKJ @novaksupremacy

Read Part 8

“Benson.” Liv whispered as she picked up her phone. She glanced at the clock it was a little after midnight. “I’ll be there soon, Cap.”

She glanced over and saw that Casey was still fast asleep, the moonlight coming through the curtains dancing across her face. Liv smiled to herself, her chest swelling with deep adoration for her girlfriend. She wanted to reach out and caress her bare shoulders, but the redhead looked so peaceful, and she figured it best to let her sleep, she’d come back to kiss her before she left. The brunette threw on some clothes and quietly tiptoed into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. She was standing in the kitchen, halfway through the cup, when she heard shuffling as a sleepy Casey emerged wearing only her light blue button up from the night before.

“Babe?” the ADA tried to rub her eyes to adjust too room, “Its midnight,” she was about to ask Liv what she was doing up when the realization hit, “You got called in didn’t you?” she sighed.

The brunette nodded, “Yeah baby I did, I’m sorry I was trying not to wake you. I was going to come back in and kiss you before I left.” She took another sip of her coffee, still trying to wake up.

Casey walked over to her and wrapped her arms around the detective’s waist and laid her head against her shoulder. “Maybe we need to start staying downtown at your place when you’re on call? I hate the thought of you have to go back down that way by yourself in the middle of the night all the time.”

Liv shook her head, “Case, you’re much more attached to your apartment than I am mine, and my stuff is here. Isn’t that why you gave me a key? Plus, we have more space here for the two of us and word on the street is you have the best walk-in shower in town.” Liv giggled.

Casey pretended to be hurt, “Oh yeah? Just how many showers are you getting into on the Upper West side Olivia?” she laughed softly as she kissed her.

“Just yours beautiful, just yours. Besides,” she turned to face her fully, her hands sliding under the redhead’s shirt gently caressing her stomach and sides, and pulled her in for a kiss, “I carry a badge and a gun, I can protect myself.”

Casey kissed her back and hung from her lips for a brief moment, “Your gun will not protect you from your worried girlfriend. I can drive you?” She gave her another peck.

Liv shook her head in protest. “No baby, go back to sleep, I got this.”

 “Let me know when you’re safe?”

The brunette pulled her girlfriend tighter and inhaled deep.

“Liv? Uhm, what are you doing?” the prosecutor chortled, “You okay baby?”

“I’m just taking you in,” Liv said muffled into Casey’s neck, “So I can carry you with me all day, how you feel, how your shampoo smells, your perfume,” she rattled off.

The redhead took Liv’s hands and guided them lower down her back, “Hey now Detective, don’t forget my perfect ass.” She chuckled.

Benson kissed her tenderly, “I could never. Miss you already.” The two women separated as the brooding cop headed out the door, “and your perfect ass.” She winked and headed out to the street in hopes of catching a cab.

*****

Stabler and Liv jumped out of cabs almost one behind the other. Elliot noticing what direction Liv came from smirked as he greeted her, “You’ve practically moved in with her, haven’t you?”

The brunette couldn’t help but blush, “I still have my apartment but yes, we spend more time there unless it’s too late by the time we leave McMullen’s. Her place is bigger, and I like that she wants me in her space, it feels safe.”

“I get that, especially considering your environment growing up. I’m happy for you guys Liv, really, I am.” He gave her a quick nudge as they walked up to the uni.

“What’ve we got,” Benson smiled at her partner and then turned her attention to the officer.

“Name’s Myra Dennings Grad Student at City Arts,” the officer read from his notepad as they walked over towards the victim. “Got into a hassle with a cabbie, we tried to calm it down, she suddenly outcries about a rape.”

“She know who did it?” Liv asked?

“She wouldn’t say.” The officer shook his head. “Really freaked out when we asked, figured I’d better call you.”

The brunette put a hand on the officer’s shoulder, “Thank you.” Her and Stabler parted ways with the uniformed officer and greeted Myra who was sitting in the back of the ambulance.

“Hi, I’m Detective Stabler, this is my partner Detective Benson. Can you tell us what happened?” Elliot offered.

The young woman looked at them for a moment before mustering up enough energy to say, “I can’t.”

“We’re gonna get you to the hospital, I’ll ride.” she said softly as she took the victims hand and nodded to her partner.

Elliot turned back towards the uni, “Anyone see where she came from?’

“Cabbie said she was staggering down the street.” The officer pointed behind him.

Elliot nodded, “Okay, let’s start a canvas, huh?”

Another uniformed officer approached, “Detective?”

“Yeah?”

 “This guy says he saw what happened” the uni pointed to a dark-haired man standing to the side of him.

 “Well, I didn’t exactly see it. I heard the commotion, I looked out and I saw the ambulance. I live up there, third floor.” He pointed up at the apartments.

“What’s your name sir?” Elliot said with a concerned tone.

“Ron Polikoff. I, uh, I know Myra. Is she okay?”

“She says she was raped. Know anything about that Mr. Polikoff.” Stabler said flatly trying to gage a reaction.

Ron nodded, “She’s going to say I did it.”

 *****

“We’re here,” Liv says to half sleeping Myra, “We’re gonna be inside in no time.”

Myra wept, “Please can I just go home?”

Liv frowned and tried to soothe the young woman, “You’ve come this far Myra, don’t give up now.”

The woman started to panic, “Where’s my portfolio?”

“Right here on the end of the gurney and we’re gonna take good care of it.” The brunette detective picked it up so that she could see.

“My prints got thrown all over the street when the taxi driver took off, you must think I’m such a loser.” Myra mumbled.

Liv shook her head in protest, “No, I think you’re scared and upset which you have every right to be after what just happened to you.”

Just then Elliot pulled up in the sedan with Mr. Polikoff. Myra spotted them immediately and became visibly tense. “Oh my god, please don’t let him see me.”

“We won’t,” Liv said looking incredulously in Stabler’s direction. “Keep moving, guys. Keep moving.” She ordered as they wheeled the gurney into the Emergency Department.

Ron watched as they disappeared behind the sliding doors and turned to Elliot, “Was that Myra?”

“Follow me.” the detective said with a raised eyebrow.

“Where are we going,” the man asked as Elliot brought him around to a side entrance.

“Medical Examiner’s office.”

“We’re not going to the morgue, are we?” the suspect said, seeming uneasy being led down the darkened corridor.

Elliot faked a small smile, “It’s right next door.”

Liv and Myra headed down the dimly lit hall towards an exam room.

“Is Ron going to be arrested?” Myra inquired.

 “My partner is talking to him.” The detective squeezed her hand.

“What happens now?” The young woman asked, her voice was shaky and exhausted.

*****

Liv came back out into the hallway looking for Elliot. He stepped back from the vending machine and greeted her by the swinging doors, “How’s Myra?”

“This girl had it pretty tough.��� The brunette folded her arms and sighed.

“The way he tells it she was looking for rough sex.” Stabler shrugged.

Liv rolled her eyes. “Oh yeah, that’s what they all say.” She scoffed, readjusting the large box in her arms.

“Well, sometimes it’s true.” Elliot said in an attempt to play devil’s advocate.

Almost flat out ignoring his statement, “I need to voucher this rape kit at the lab where’s the sector car?”

Her partner took his cell phone out of his pocket, “Tell you what I’ll call the 2-9 wait with her till they get here.”

“You sure?” Liv asked, propping the box up against her hip. Elliot nodded. “Thanks El, night.”

The nurse led Myra out through the double doors where she was greeted by Elliot, “Hi Myra, I’m Detective Stabler. We spoke earlier. I’m sorry to have to tell you this but the sector car is at least another hour away. The was some sort of pile up on the FDR.

“I’m so tired” the young woman sat down on the bench and whined.

“I’ll take ya home.” Elliot looked down empathetically at Myra and sighed.

“Thank you.” She managed to give him a weak smile and stood up.

*****

Liv quietly hung her jacket and keys up and chained the door behind her. She didn’t even have the energy to change back into her PJs, she just stripped and threw her clothes over the chair and walked into the bedroom. She leaned in the doorway, “God she’s gorgeous.” she thought to herself before crawling into bed as quietly as possible.

“Liv?” Casey mumbled as she rolled over.

“Yeah, honey it’s me, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, it’s okay,” She pulled the brunette close and wrapped her arms around her and pulled her closer. She spooned her, cupping her breast and nuzzling into the crook of the detective’s neck. “While I’m very glad you’re home, remind me to give you a key to my office in case you’re too tired to come all the way back uptown. I know you tell me not to, but I worry.”  She kissed the brunette on her bare shoulder.

Liv rolled over to face her, “I could do that, sure,” she brushed the strands of hair out of Casey’s face, “but I missed you.”

“I,” The younger woman stared at her girlfriend with puppy eyes for what felt like forever, the words stuck in her throat. She feigned a yawn and played it off as still being half asleep, “missed you too babe.” She brought her hand to the brunette’s face, tracing her lips with her fingertips and then planting a soft kiss on them.

*****

Liv led Myra into the conference room as Elliot followed behind them.

“What’s this about, have you arrested Ron?” she asked, sitting down at the table.

“We’ve questioned him.” Elliot came around to the other side of the table.

Liv shut the door and came around as well, “Myra did you have sex with anyone besides Ron Polikoff yesterday?

“No why are you asking me that?” Myra snapped, sounding almost disgusted.

Elliot tilted his head, “Prelim lab result on your teddy, there was semen from two men on it.”

Myra’s face changed, she became wary. “Is this some trick to see if I’m lying?”

Liv sighed, “No but you need to tell us.”

Myra stands up and walks towards the window. “I already told you I didn’t have sex with anyone but Ron Polikoff that night and it wasn’t sex it was rape.”

Casey stood on the other side of the glass, listening, arms folded. Captain Cragen stood next to her, hands in his pockets. “Sooner we get the DNA from the rape kit the better, I can’t draft the complaint unless I know what she’s hiding and why.” She turned around to gather her things.

Cragen turned towards her “Maybe she’s just embarrassed about having sex with two men in one day.

The redhead turned back over her shoulder, “Well she better get over it, the two samples are enough to get her sexual history admitted.”

Cragen’s assistant rapped on the door and opened it slightly, popping her head in. “Captain, Donna Emmett wants to see you.”

Emmett pushed past the woman and entered the room. “And I do see him thank you. Gangs all here, complainant too.” She knocked on the glass which rustled the captain enough to close the blinds.

Cragen shot daggers at her, “How can I help you?”

The defense lawyer set her briefcase down, “I understand your detectives entertained a client of mine last night, Ron Polikoff.” She pulled some paperwork out of it.

Casey twisted her face “here we go” she thought to herself as she watched Emmett.

“He volunteered for a suspect exam.”

 “Something I would’ve strongly discouraged had I been consulted. Is the DA’s office planning to file charges?” the lawyer inquired.

“We’re discussing that right now.” Casey spat.

Emmet stepped to her, “Discuss this. A list of Ms. Denning’s numerous sexual partners.” She said and handed her the papers she pulled from her bag.

Casey took the sheet and looked it over, “I don’t know how you got this, but it’s irrelevant.” She tilted her head to the side condescendingly.

“Ms. Dennings truthfulness or lack of it is a matter of public record…” the defense attorney rebuked and rattled off a list of Myra’s past indiscretions with the law. “Let me know when you drop the case.” She snagged her briefcase and stormed out.

Casey frowned and bit her lip. “Better look at the list.”

Liv moved closer, “So Ron Polikoff wants to play dirty.”

Elliot folded his arms, “How did she get those names so fast?”

Captain Cragen joined in, “Good question. Send Myra Home and get to those people before Emmett does.” He nodded and dismissed the squad.

Liv squinted, “First name on the list is Justin Wexler.”

Casey caught up with Liv as she headed to grab some things out of her locker. “Hey.”

“Hey babe,” the brunette turned her head. “You okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to tell you to be safe.” Shrugged trying to play it cool.

The detective looked around quickly and then leaned in to kiss Casey. She put her hand to the ADA’s chest and smiled against her lips as she could feel the outline of the chain she gave her under the collar of her shirt.

“I never take it off.” The redhead said and hugged Liv tightly before walking away.

*****

Justin was pulling a large painting out and moving it across the room when Liv and Elliot got there. “Yeah, I know Myra. I’m going out with her.”

“So, you’re her boyfriend?” Stabler quizzed.

“Isn’t that what going out means?” He laid the canvas he was carrying against the wall.

“Can you tell us when the last time you had sex with Myra was?” Liv asked, her arms folded across her chest.

“Sure” the young blonde man scoffed, “if you can tell me when you last got laid.”

“4AM this morning. Now answer the question.” she said without batting an eye.

Elliot did a double take and looked at Liv surprised, she wasn’t really known for being that forward. He couldn’t tell if she was being sardonic or if she was serious. “Where were you last night?”  He turned his attention back to Wexler.

Justin turned his back and started mixing paints, “Here with two friends. We watched the Knicks get their asses kicked till about eleven and then I went to bed. Why, what’s going on? Is Myra in trouble?” He was starting to look concerned.

“She may have been raped.” Liv offered up.

Justins head shot up. He tossed the rag in his hand down and walked towards his coffee press, “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah,” Liv pressed, “Tell us when the last time you had sex with Myra was?”

“Uhh, three nights ago.” He poured some of the coffee into a to-go cup, the kind you get at the bodega.

“Do you remember what she was wearing?” Liv continued questioning.

“Some…slinky lace thing? Black?” He sipped from the cup and leaned back against the wall.

“A teddy?”

“Wait a minute?” the blonde walked towards them, “is she accusing me?!”

“We just need a DNA sample to exclude you,” Elliot replied.

Justin furrowed his brow, and his face became angry, “Has she been sleeping around? It’s Ron Polikoff, isn’t it? I knew she would cheat on me with that fraud!”

Elliot tilted his head, “Why would you say that?”

“Because she can’t stop talking about him!” the student took his fresh coffee and dumped it out onto the floor and spit into the empty cup, “There’s your DNA, pass it on to Myra when you’re done.”

*****

“Wait so just like that? He just hocked into the cup and handed it to you guys?” Casey couldn’t stop laughing, her arm draped over Liv who was laying against her on the sofa. “So, what did you say?’

Liv mindlessly stroked her girlfriend’s hand with her fingertips, “I told him we have a protocol, and it involved a cheek swab not an americano.”  They both giggled and the brunette sat up and turned towards Casey.

The redhead cocked her head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

The detective sighed, “Nothing is wrong honey, but I guess we should talk about this? We’ve never really had this talk and with this case going on I guess we should?”

Casey looked at her in confusion, “What talk is that? We talk about everything.”

Liv took her hand, “You’re right we do, but between this case and how I almost screwed things up for us with my past encounter, even though I thought we could get away with never talking about it—maybe we need to have the past partners talk?”  She grabbed her girlfriend’s hand between her own, “Let me start by saying I trust you completely.” She brought the redhead’s palm up to her face and kissed it, “Lets just get this out of the way. That way none of our old partners can show up unexpectedly to bite us in the ass again or try to come between us.” She brought her gaze back up to Casey who was smiling at her.

“Okay, we can do that.” She took her free hand and brushed it against Liv’s face and then ran her fingers through the brunette’s hair.

“Yeah? Okay, so you knew about the encounter with Jeffrey York, there was another detective when I first started at SVU. His name was Brian. Then there was a guy when I was in high school, and two girlfriends in college. Most recently I had a girlfriend for about two years and then there was you, and now there is just you.” She smiled, mouth half open waiting for Casey to respond.

The redhead took both of Liv’s hands and brought them up flat against her own, interlacing their fingers, “Well,” she started and then huffed, “Suddenly I’m very nervous.”

Liv’s face dropped, “C’mon Case it can’t be that bad?”

Casey grimaced and shrugged as she ran her thumbs over the back of Liv’s hands.

“Ten? Twenty?” Liv asked.

The ADA dropped her head laughing, “Woah there, Detective, you’re going in the wrong direction.” She took a deep breath, “Well there were a few people I casually dated in college but we never—rounded all the bases? So to speak. I had one serious relationship with a guy in Law School, but he was kind of traditional and wanted to wait. So, Olivia Benson, when I say it’s just you. I mean to say, it’s only ever really been just you.”

The brunette was taken aback, not expecting this to be the way the discussion went by any means, “Case, come on be serious, I’m not judging.”

“Olivia, I’m not joking.” A single laugh came out her mouth as she stared back at her girlfriend.

“Casey there is absolutely no way you are that good at—what you do, especially that first night together, all the things you said, that we’ve done—if you’d never done it before.” Liv looked at her incredulously, almost annoyed.

“Well Liv, I do have all the same equipment so I didn’t really need an instruction manual, it’s easy to judge someone’s wants and needs by their body language and facial expressions, you should know that.” She started getting defensive, “And like I said I’d fooled around before I’d just never actually gotten naked with anyone, felt intimacy like that with anyone.” Her eyes got watery.

The brunette’s face softened as she realized her girlfriend was telling the truth, “Case,” she tilted her head, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Casey laughed, wiping tears, “Why so I could embarrass myself in front of the most beautiful woman in New York? So you could’ve left me riding in that cab back uptown, alone? Wondering?”

Liv smiled and wiped her thumb under Casey’s eyes, drying tears. “Hey, I know you didn’t know me well enough back then,” she said softly, “but I think you know me well enough now to know that I wanted to be with you, and I still would have wanted to be with you had you told me and that was still what you wanted.” She stopped for a second, “That’s why you paused.”

“What?” Casey asked furrowing her brow. “I paused?”

“You paused and your hand was shaking, “Is that nerves, Counselor.” Casey I’m sorry I didn’t pick up on it, I would have made things more special for you.” She stared deep into the redhead’s green eyes.

“That’s the thing Liv, I didn’t want it to be a production. I felt my need for you in my body from the moment we met, even if you were a little harsh,” she raised her eyebrow and smirked. “I wanted it to be real, and it was. That’s what made it special, it brought us here.” She brought her hands back up, cupping Liv’s face. “I couldn’t have asked for anything more, and you have made me feel so special and so safe every day since.”

“Tell her. For G-d’s sake Olivia, tell her you fucking love her. Tell her she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you and that you LOVE HER. Do it. Tell her.” “Okay, I guess I can’t argue with that Counselor.” Coward. She kissed Casey with a strong passion before retreating slightly. “But you were so smooth?” They both laughed.

“Baby, if you knew how many times I practiced what I would say, how I would say it, what I would do should the right woman come along.  The rest was easy, from the minute we got to the bar and started talking, everything just felt so natural. I didn’t even have to think about it.” She kissed the brunette and pulled her down on top of her, wrapping her body around her.

“And now?” Liv whispered.

“And now it’s all I think about.” Casey whispered back, capturing her girlfriend’s lips again and pulling her tight to her body.

*****

Liv and Casey sat at the table upstairs in the precinct that overlooked the squad room going over the evidence of the case for trial. It wasn’t long before Elliot joined them. Liv couldn’t put her finger on it but there was something off about him. He seemed—angry.

“So, Warner said that the other DNA sample on Myra’s teddy is indeed Justin Wexler’s.” Liv said handing the ADA the medical report.

“Good.” Casey nodded in approval, “I don’t think that’s gonna hurt us with the jury too much.”

Elliot scoffed, “The fact she wore sexy, silk, underwear to Polikoff’s sure will.” He leaned forward onto the table. Casey matched his stare and then looked back at Liv.

“That’s not an invitation for rape,” the brunette quipped back.

“Maybe she didn’t even see it as rape until he told her to leave.” Elliot was staring Liv down at this point.

The ADA felt like she was at a tennis match watching words fly back and forth, she pressed her hand to her girlfriend’s thigh knowing she was about to blow a gasket.

“Elliot.” Liv said flatly staring back at him.

“Guys,” the redhead said shakily standing up from the table, “I can’t prosecute this, until you agree. Call me when you get on the same page.” She grabbed her briefcase and leaned down to kiss her detective on the cheek before walking away.

Liv followed Elliot downstairs, “What is your problem with Myra.”

“She’s neurotic!” he barked. “Look, she chased after a guy whose life was falling apart.”

“So that gives him the right to force her to have sex?” the brunette was shouting now.

“She was the one who wanted to have sex,” he pointed, his finger nearing Liv’s face.

She stepped to him, “Really did she want to be strangled too?”

“Some people do.” He nodded. They continued to circle each other shouting in the middle of the bullpen until they heard their names being shouted from across the room.

“My office,” Cragen waved them in. “I believe you know Ms. Scarry, she now represents Myra Dennings.”

“Are you just looking for reasons not to bring charges,” the attorney scoffed, her arms folded, glaring at Elliot.

Cragen stepped in, “This case won’t be easy, we don’t want it to fall apart.”

“Or maybe you do,” Scarry uttered, “to hide the fact that detective Stabler harassed my client.”

“Excuse me?” Stable asked, visibly confused. “The only time I physically touched her was to stop her from falling down the stairs.”

The lawyer scoffed, “Or maybe you used that as an excuse to cop a feel.”

The captain snarled, “That’s enough, counselor. In twelve years, there has never been a complaint against this man.”

“Men change,” the women rebuked, “especially when their wives file for legal separation. I want Detective Stabler off this case, and I want SVU to do its job.”

Elliot stormed out of the room. Liv shocked at what she just heard come out of Scarry’s mouth chased after him into the bullpen. “Elliot, Elliot stop! Hey!” She gently grabbed his shoulder, “What’s going on?”

“I touched her in an inappropriate manner didn’t you hear?” he mocked sarcastically.

“I don’t believe that!” the brunette scrunched up her face in concern, “Forget that, what’s going on at home?”

“Nothing,” Stabler grabbed his jacket and continued to storm out.

“Hey, would you talk to me?” Liv called after him.

He stopped in his tracks, turned on his heel and walked back towards her, “Kathy left me.” He stated flatly before turning back around and walking out. 

*****

“I don’t know what to do Casey sighed as her and Donnelly walked the hall to her office. “Only Ron and Myra really know what went on in that room.”

“What do the forensics show?” Liz cocked her head to the side.

“Well,” Casey stated, “evidence indicates rape but Myra’s behavior before and after was pretty erratic.”

Donnelly nodded, “So her credibility is an issue.”

Casey sighed in agreeance, “yeah.”

“What’s SVU’s position?” Liz queried as they rounded the corner.

“Divided.” The redhead said with frustration.

Liz huffed, “That explains why Scarry threatened to go to the media if they don’t make an arrest.”

“So, I just wait.” Casey exhaled.

The older woman shook her head, “Skip the arrest. Bring an “X” indictment before the grand jury. Present the evidence and let the jurors decide whether there’s a case.” She smirked.

*****

“Detective Benson,” Casey probed as she practiced her questioning of Liv for the grand jury.

“Mmm yes Counselor?” Liv smirked, wetting her lips, and then biting down on it, spreading her knees slightly as she stared starry-eyed at her girlfriend.

“C’mon babe, be serious.” The ADA giggled, she swatted the brunette’s leg with the file in her hand, “We need to go over this!”

“I’m trying but watching you litigate is very sexy. You’re getting me all hot and bothered pacing around in that Daddy way that you do.” She grabbed Casey and pulled her down into her lap and kissed her.

The redhead squealed as she fell back on to Liv, giggling as she put her hand to her girlfriend’s face and kissed her back. “You’re gonna give me a swollen head, but if you’re good and help me, I promise to give you more than my ego later.” She leaned in for another kiss, running her fingers down the brunette’s face. She let out a soft moan as her expression softened. “C’mon baby girl, help me out and I’ll take you to Forlini’s for lunch.” She playfully slapped Liv’s leg and stood back up.

“Detective Benson,” the ADA put on her serious face, “on what do you base your opinion Myra Denning was raped?”

Liv took a deep breath trying to center herself, “Myra’s behavior was consistent with someone who was sexually assaulted. She had all the symptoms of PTSD.”

“Can you elaborate?” The prosecutor postured.

“It’s like when a war veteran hits the floor after a car backfires. Myra suffered an event so traumatic for her that her body was actually waiting for another assault.”

“So,” the redhead walked around and sat on the desk next to Liv, “she interpreted Detective Stabler’s gesture as an attack.” She wanted so badly to jump the brunette’s bones right here, right now but she knew they had to focus, and she also knew her door wasn’t locked.

“Well, her body did. I touched her in the hospital just to reassure her and she flinched as if I’d hit her.”

Casey didn’t mean to smile but she watched her girlfriend talk in her “professional voice” moving her hands back and forth as she did, “You know, you have a little bit of that ‘energy’ too babe. It’s very attractive.” Liv smirked as the two leaned towards each other with the intention of a kiss until they heard some shuffling. The women jumped and broke apart as the office door came flying open and Scarry and Myra barged in. Casey thanked herself for remembering the door was unlocked before deciding to get overly handsy with Liv. That definitely would have caused some type of conflict-of-interest situation.

*****

After Ms. Dennings and her lawyer barged into Casey’s office, the ADA and detective learned that Myra had been receiving some very threatening hateful emails anonymously. Liv and Elliot take what they learned down to Morales in TARU who was able to trace it back to the college where Polikoff works. However, upon arriving they find that it wasn’t Ron sending the emails at all it was his sixteen-year-old daughter who was distraught over her father being fired and her mother suing for custody. Once in interrogation she quickly confesses to Liv and Ron seems to blame himself for her getting wrapped up in the incident.

Elliot and Cragen watched from the other side of the glass. Stabler huffed as he turned away, “Man he’s smart. He comes forward. He says, “I did it.” And we all think he’s a stand-up guy.”

Cragen looked in on Polikoff and then back at Elliot, “Maybe that’s what he is?”

“He just manipulated the hell out of his daughter, and he’s manipulating the hell out of us.” As he finished his sentence Liv popped up in the doorway, but he also was too busy ranting to notice, “The first time we saw him he said, “She’s gonna say I raped her.” He nodded his head in anger. “This guy is good.”

“So now you don’t believe him?” Liv questioned from her place in the doorway and walked towards Stabler.

Casey wasn’t far behind her and popped her head in the door, “Grand jury came back. They just voted to indict Ron Polikoff.” She said, one hand on the door frame, the other on the handle, leaning into the doorway.

“Does Myra know?” the brunette asked turning her attention to the prosecutor.

“I’m on my way to tell her now,” Casey stated, “Do you wanna come?” She already knew the answer but at least the formality looked good in front of the rest of the squad.

The detective shot the captain a look and then rushed out the door after Casey.

Casey took long strides around to the passenger side and opened the car door, motioning for her lover to get in. Once Liv had gotten in the redhead shut the door and jogged back around, sliding into the driver’s seat.

Liv stared as her girlfriend drove them away from the precinct.

“What?” Casey smiled, she checked her sideview mirror to change lanes, and caught Liv staring.

The brunette grinned back, “Nothing, I just. I don’t think we’ve ever actually been in a car together.” She mused.

The ADA scrunched her face, “We take cabs together all the time, in fact we took a cab to my apartment on our first date, you know, right before you seduced me.” She smirked.

The detective laughed, “Oh? Is that how you remember it Counselor? I still remember your body pressed against my back in that pool bar.” She bit her lip, savoring the memory thinking back to after the cab ride, in the elevator of Casey’s building. “What I meant was, your car, with you driving.”

Casey thought about it for a moment, her brow furrowed, deep in thought, “You know you’re right. I always offer to drive you in the middle of the night, but you always protest and tell me to go back to bed, and then other than that we take the train or a cab.” She thought about it for another second and then looked at Liv over her sunglasses, “Why? Is my driving that bad?”

Liv’s eyes sparkled as she continued to watch her girlfriend palm the wheel, “No, not at all Case. Your particular driving—style,” She waved her palm in a circular motion in the redhead’s direction, “is very, very sexy.” She studied Casey’s left leg up on the seat, one hand on the wheel.

The prosecutor took her right hand off the gear shift and placed it on the brunette’s thigh. “Oh yeah, you think so baby?”

“Mhmm, oh yeah. Very.” The detective put her hand over Casey’s and ran her fingers back and forth.

“So,” Casey intertwined her fingers with Olivia’s and brought Liv’s hand to her lips and pressing them against it softly. “I hate to put a damper on this conversation, but have you and Elliot made up yet?”

“I don’t know Case,” Liv sighed, “I guess I can see his point, but it was just so unlike him not to believe the victim. And then this whole thing with Kathy? And he didn’t tell me? Or you? It’s just off.” Liv shook her head, “Even if he didn’t want to tell me, you’re like his sister, why would he keep that bottled up?”

“Well,” Casey sighed, “If there’s anything I know about my brother from another mother, is that he’s like a pressure cooker. He holds everything in until he explodes, on a perp, at the batting range, maybe on Kathy? Maybe he just didn’t know what to say? I’m really not sure why men do half the things they do,” She kissed the brunette’s hand again, “which is why it’s a good thing I’m dating you.”

Liv smiled adoringly at her girlfriend, “You’re right. I guess I can see some of why he might identify with Polikoff. The threat of his ex taking his kid away probably struck a nerve with everything going on. I don’t know how I would feel if it were me.”

The redhead’s ears perked up, “Me either,” she kept her eyes straight ahead on the road trying to make herself seem aloof, “Is that something you ever think about?” she inquired.

“Is what something I think about?” Liv tilted her head.

“Having kids, is it something you think about?” Casey asked as they got onto the Williamsburg Bridge. “Like do you want them?”

The detective blushed, “I…uh yeah, I’ve thought about it. I think one day I would like to, yeah.” She paused for what felt like five minutes but was actually more like twenty seconds, “You?”

“I think so, yeah,” She bit her lip shyly, “I’ve thought about it here and there.” She smiled.

This time Liv was the one who pulled Casey’s hand to her lips, “Well,” she kissed her knuckles, one by one, “seems like we’re on the same page then.”

“It would seem that way, Detective,” the redhead raised her brow and pursed her lips teasingly. “I mean effectively we could just steal one of Elliot’s, he has a whole bunch. He won’t notice.”

“We cannot steal a child, Counselor.” Liv guffawed.

“Well not if you and El never make up, then no we can’t.” Casey laughed and grabbed the brunette’s thigh playfully. “Maybe we can practice when we get home.” She squeezed tighter and ran her fingers up her girlfriend’s inner thigh, stroking back and forth.

“Practice stealing a baby?” Liv grinned.

“Practice making one,” Casey chuckled, “sorry it sounded sexier in my head.” She shook her head and blushed.

*****

Liv and Casey climbed the stairs to Myra’s fifth floor walkup.

“Aren’t you glad my building has that elevator?” the redhead giggled.

Liv nodded as she knocked on the door, “For many, many reasons, Counselor.” She waited for a response.

Casey breathed a heavy sigh, “Not in.”

Liv shrugged, “Maybe she’s on campus?”

The pair nodded and began to descend back down the staircase. The made it about halfway down the first set of stairs when an Angry man flew between them and began to bang irately on Myra’s door.

“Answer the door! Open up, damn it!” He pounded on the door repeatedly.

Casey gave Liv a concerned look and they turned around. “Sir, calm down.” Liv said, trying to de-escalate. “She’s not home.” They turned back again to head out.

“She had better be!” He protested, “there’s water pouring through my bathroom ceiling!” Liv and Casey looked at each other nervously and then bolted up the stairs to the door. The man just kept yelling, “Damn kids stay up all night, sleep all day!”

Liv grabbed him, moving him to the side, and away from the door. “Sir, get out of the way.” She shouted and braced herself against the door frame, kicking in the door. She ran into the apartment yelling out for Myra, Casey following close behind. The brunette spotted the overflowing bathtub with an unconscious Myra. “Case, over here! I got a pulse.”

                The redhead followed the sound of the detective’s voice and pulled out her cellphone to call 911. “I need an ambulance!” Casey said into the phone reciting Myra’s address to the dispatch.

                The detective picked up an empty prescription bottle off the floor, “Sleeping pills.” She looked at Casey.

                “Attempted suicide. Drug overdose.” The ADA relayed to the dispatcher. She kept her eyes fixed on the brunette as she held Myra’s head up and her airway clear until the ambulance got there.

****

                Elliot jumped off the elevator at the hospital and walked across the waiting room, “How’s Myra?” He queried.

                Liv took a deep breath, “She’s okay.” She paced around him, “You know I should’ve seen how depressed she was. I should’ve done something.” She hung her head and put her hands on her hips.

                “Well, you did exactly what she wanted.” Her partner stated flatly.

                She looked at Elliot confused, “What are you talking about?”

                “How long did it take you and Casey to get to Brooklyn?” he asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

                The brunette scrunched her forehead, “Forty-five minutes, maybe?”

                “After you left, Myra called.” Elliot arched his back, stretching. “She wanted to know about the grand jury decision. Munch told her that Polikoff had been indicted.” His voice softened. “And that you were on your way to go see her.”

                The brunette’s face dropped as what Elliot said registered, “She knew that I was coming.”  

*****

“So, you’re the victim here?” Casey reiterated Polikoff’s previous statement as she approached the witness stand.

“That’s right.” The defendant answered quietly.

The prosecutor placed a picture up on the easel to the side of him. “Do you recognize this photo?”

“No.”

“These are blow ups of the contusions on Myra’s arms. Who did this to her?” The fiery attorney motioned to the photo.

“I did. But Myra asked me to.” He protested.

“And this?” She brought her hand up to the next picture, “Did you do this too?” she articulated.

“Do you have any pictures of my bruises, my bite marks?” Polikoff scoffed.

The judge scolded him, “Answer the questions Mr. Polikoff.”

“Did you make these marks?” Casey reiterated.

“Yes,” Polikoff gritted, “Myra told me too and when I wouldn’t, she scratched me so hard that she drew blood.”

“You’re what? A little taller than me? Six foot-four? Two hundred pounds? Myra Denning is maybe a hundred and fifteen?” The lilt in her voice elevating slightly. “You still want to claim that you’re the victim here?” She leaned over him in the witness box.

“Yes.”

“Because a woman forced you to have sex with her?” Casey asked with skepticism.

“No,” Polikoff retorted, “because its my picture in the paper, not hers. My daughter had to change schools, my wife is suing for sole custody. I’ve lost my job. My life is in shambles and all I can do is say. I did not rape her.” He was getting increasingly upset and frustrated as he spoke. “I did NOT rape her.”

****

“What do you think?” Liv asked back at the squad room as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“I don’t know,” Stabler shook his head. “Glad I’m not on that jury.” He poured some milk into Liv’s cup for her.

“Guess we agree on something,” the brunette looked at her partner giving him a small grin. She shook her head as she headed back to her desk, “I saw this scared, angry woman. Maybe I jumped the gun.”

Elliot followed, “Look, maybe I didn’t give Myra a fair shake. When I saw Polikoff and his daughter—Wednesday nights and every other weekend? That got to me.”

“Elliot,” the female detective’s face got somber as she put her cup down and stepped to him, “What happened with you and Kathy?”

He looked down and shrugged, “The job—makes me kind of hard to live with.”

“She should try working with you,” Liv jested, “Hey why don’t you come to Casey’s later and have dinner with us,” Liv suggested, trying not to look too concerned. “We can get takeout or one of us can cook? Play cards and have a drink?”

Elliot smiled weakly, “Another time Liv, I promise. I’ll be okay. Tell Case I’ll see her at practice.”

The captain walked out of his office, “Novak called. Closing arguments”

*****

Casey stood up; her tone was fierce as she walked towards the jury box. “Believe me, rape is still hard to prosecute, and it is still a nightmare for the victims. Ms. Denning has had to endure three separate, sexual humiliations. Her teacher, a man she admired, raped her. In the hospital she had to strip naked, she was poked, prodded, and then scraped, so the police could gather evidence. And then finally,” she waved her hand towards the witness stand and faced the jury dead on, “she sat here and relived every sordid, painful detail. Her sex life dissected. Her psychological traumas exposed. Her entire motive called into question. So, ask yourselves.” She stepped towards the box, her sullen green eyes staring at them, “Why would she put herself through hell if she wasn’t telling the truth.”

Read Part 10

[platinum-iridium]

as annoying as the wheatley thing got (they started dragging at after the main plot and i HATED how stabler started being with the wife esp the panty thing like yuck wtf—totally with you on the rewriting of stabler as the epitome of a good cop like the guy is certainly not lmao like I’m not mad he was beating up rapists and the like but even with regular people he was off his rocker) at least it was interesting. the only other story to hold my interest was the albanians and the beginning of the brotherhood plot. but yeah the case of the weeks are boring as hell. s4 is the worst so far (ive even taken to svu which lost me after they got rid of kat and then seasons later churlish with no answer like huh) like i couldn’t tell you anything of note that happened and the undercover this season is ass. tbh i only hung on bc i thought they were gonna have something between ayanna and the other precinct captain shah but i feel like they’re phasing bell out lowkey. idky but it’s a vibe i get. also season 5 will be on peacock so maybe they’ll tighten up the writing and up the stakes (and keep a solid cast for once!)

they need to bring back compelling villains. i think that’s the benefit of this format with the extended investigations and i can’t see why they’ve pivoted away from it. it’s rare to see l&o actually have a truly nuanced take on anything these days and the time spent getting to know the criminals forced the audience to reckon with their humanity. to a certain extent. i also thought the whole angela thing was distasteful and idk if it was the point but it certainly reminded me that all men are just men at the end of the day, no matter how “refined” they’re supposed to be. yuck. i haven’t hit s4 yet but that’s disappointing. oc was clearly meant to be the elliott stabler show but i would have hoped that they realize their strength is as an ensemble. stabler alone is not enough. like how much can we watch him reckon with the idea that police can be bad. i like him in all his insanity but there are more stories to tell than his.

on svu tho … yes. like kat was fun and new and even though i felt like her character was lowkey pandering, it was pandering to ME so i was like ok. i think they’re afraid to make a beloved character reveal that they’re not straight so they’re dipping their toes in with new characters and side characters. if they were really about it the material is there. that’s all i’ll say

[jacnaylor]

ok so i always feel awkward adding on but i have to do it because the hypothetical brian cassidy/elliot stabler meeting is something that lives in my brain rent free and you may have noticed i take every opportunity to bring it up:

VERY important to me that brian now has a lot of anger for elliot. i've always thought of it as he's angry on behalf of olivia because he knows that olivia probably won't be angry with stabler (at least not in the same way.) she's going to forgive, she's going to move on. brian doesn't have to do that. it's like he's saying 'you can give the anger to me. give the anger to me so you can have a relationship with stabler. i will hate him so you don't have to. i can do that. i can be the bad guy for you.'

because brian said olivia is the love of his life. he knows he isn't hers. in their last scene he says something hinting that if he had been elliot, the reaction to what happened would have been different. she would have talked to elliot in a way she won't talk to him. he knows that. he's always known that. that doesn't mean he loves her any less. it doesn't mean he stops loving her. it means he can take that part of her life and be the one that carries it, even if that's the only thing he can do for her for the rest of their lives.

so to see all that against elliot who has no idea what's going on? because he wasn't there? insane television. the idea of the characters and the audience knowing about this intense trauma bond and having to watch that be articulated and for elliot to come into that knowledge? and what can he do with it? where does it go? having to acknowledge that not only was he not here for her but brian was?? this kinda dumb kid that she slept with once in the 90's was the person who was there for her??? (and i think as well. seeing elliot have to take her out of whatever mental box he put her in when he was in italy, to deconstruct that time around what was actually happening?)

all this to say.......i want them to have to work together (and for olivia to have to hold them back from each other by the scruff of their necks like dogs)

One thing I think is really interesting about the idea of Elliot and Cassidy running into each other now is that they parted on good terms. Elliot liked Cassidy. He was kind to him. He gave him support when Cassidy was struggling with the work. Elliot left thinking Cassidy was a good kid. A stupid one, but a good one. And I think when Cassidy left he liked Elliot. But. I think Cassidy now has beef with Elliot. He saw what Elliot leaving did to Liv, how lonely and isolated and hurt she was, and he knows what Elliot missed. Even after Cassidy and Liv broke up they were still connected and Cassidy knows what it means that Liv's best friend wasn't there for her when she needed him. Cassidy is also more bitter and jaded and angry, whereas Elliot has softened in a lot of ways. I do think Elliot would be glad to see Cassidy, would expect for their reunion to be kind and warm, and I do think Cassidy would be a raging dick to him, and Elliot's whiplash and Cassidy's rage would be really fun to watch

[charmingly-evil]

I love Barson, But those fans are forgetting that Stabler just lost his wife. I doubt Liv would ever date Elliot. Liv had so much respect for his late wife and his marriage. Liv knows Elliot has to grieve. Liv and Elliot are just friends with too many complications. The only complication she had with Barba was the Wheatly case, I think he took that case out of stupid jealousy. Barba was there for her during her worst and best when Stabler left SVU.

Hey I don't come on Tumblr so I'm not sure about this Barson/EO war and hate that seems to be going on. I think it's important to say that everyone has a right to ship what they want and I think in many universes out there, there's possibilities for Barson and EO. The show basically confirmed that both guys love Liv.

I agree that there sre complications with Liv and Elliot. It's been a year and I don't think Kathy is the big barrier anymore. I think it's trust Elliot after he left, and Elliot still not being available for her. Elliot's asked Liv out multiple times, yes. But they haven't talked. They still haven't talked about Lewis, or how Liv adopted Noah, or her relationship with Ed, or anything. It's infuriating. So in a way, he has no right to date Liv when he barely knows her now, he doesn't know what she's gone through They're still holding onto their friendship by holding onto the past. Also, Elliot is such an arse now. He's more cold, inconsiderate and selfish. He never genuinely checks in on what's happening for Liv. It's so out of character from how he used to be, back in Season 7 when Elliot came rushing over, crushing Liv in his arms and whispering, "I should have come back sooner." Now it's like he doesn't give a damn, but somehow loves the woman?

I blame the writers for the shitty writing for Elliot and lack of time and attention they're giving to EO to create any sort of relationship. Makes me mad cause it makes me feel like they'e just dragging the fans along and baiting us, but never actually going to give in, because progress is tiny, if at all.

I agree that Barba has always been there for her and never wanted to hurt her. I also believe he wanted to protect Liv during the Wheatley case. I think Barba is parallel to the kind friend who loves and watches from afar, knowing Liv is in love with someone else. It's sweet but also heartbreaking, especially when Barba said he'll be waiting for her.

Ugh I admit I'm a Barson shipper now and a Bensler shipper. I just want Liv to be happy, you know?

[milquetoast-on-acid]

Benson and stabler are on the cusp of a romance! I'm so excited!

So I don't know about you all but I'm feeling pretty positive about EO from this episode. I of course, am always going to want to see more but I loved what we got. They are in such a good place, the best place they have been since he's gotten back. They're relationship is finally on solid ground!

I loved the fake out between three of them! Love how they have been using Elliot's well known temper to fool people. First in Wheatley's trial when Elliot 'went off' in order to rattle Wheatley's cage. And here now with this fake fight between them all.

Subverting expectations by flipping the script on everyone. Everyone expects Elliot to get angry about stuff including us and they used it their advantage. And how they use it, is so important because it really shows some great character growth for him.

I also love how Elliot's ties on his sweater, Ayanna's sweater and Olivia's coat are all the same color! Signifying that they are all together on this! I love how they are using color and costumes to tell the story. Reminds me of the shandy purple days.

Olivia and Elliot acknowledging how they both hated having to fight the other. Mariska has said in interviews that so much of EO is really M&C. This is definitely one of those instances that blur the lines. Chris has said before how his least favorite scenes to shoot with Mariska are the ones where they fight. So I really appreciate them adding that in there because not only does it definitively tell us that the flighting was fake. But that EO are clearly getting along behind the scenes.

This UC arc is already established as different from the Albanian arc. Particularly when it comes to EO. They are in a completely different place than before. Olivia didn't even know Elliot went UC last time. All he does is text her that he will be off the grid but not to worry. He gives her the least amount of information about what he's doing. So of course it causes issues between them, one of them being that him doing it is triggering for Olivia.

Last time Elliot took the UC job because he was trying to run away from his life and emotions. It's why the presence of Olivia and their relationship is so heavily featured in that arc. The things he was trying to run away from followed him when he went UC. Because you can't run away from yourself even if you change your name or your job. This time he's not running away but doing his job. I know that he'll struggle with the UC like last time but it's not about hiding anymore.

Also not only is Olivia is aware that he's going UC but that she's in on the ruse. Guys! This is huge because it means they are communicating as partners like they used to! Then of course we get the amazing wonderful scene in the hallway.

I love how soft they are with each other in these scenes!

First of all I love how Elliot is talking about his dad so very easily with Olivia. What we already knew about Elliot's dad is that he was a cop, him and Elliot did not have a good relationship. He cheated on Bernie and was abusive. So I'm very curious if we are going to get more information on his dad and their relationship. Since Bernie is a major recurring character now, maybe we'll get more insight into their marriage from her.

Olivia is the person that Elliot can be the most vulnerable with. She has been since season 1 even above Kathy. So I love love love him talking about his dad so freely with Olivia.

I love how the dialogue isn't romantic or emotional at all between them. But it's 100% how the scene is played by them that gives us the intention. It's the body language that really gives them away!

They are so flirty here! I love how they throw around the word "friend". Olivia's need to give their relationship a definition but one that doesn't actually define what they are. Still gets me because it's her throwing up that wall that still surrounds her heart. I don't blame her for still being cautious. But I see real progress here! Neither of them wants to screw this up and Olivia knows that once they take this step that there's no going back.

They both know they are and have always been way more than friends. Him asking her to come to Christmas and inviting her and Noah to lunch is not an invitation from one friend to another. But a romantic overchur. It's why she's so hesitant, why she was so nervous last time he asked her to Christmas.

The look on Elliots face and in his eyes after she says "Elliot, my friend". He drops his smile and gets so serious! His eyes sparkle! He's got it so bad for her! And then his face falls a bit when she tells him let's wait because he really wants to move things forward.

I can see that by the end of this arc Elliot will ask Olivia out again and she will say yes. That is where they are going with this storyline. In the meantime I want to see more flirty moments.

I know we only got a few minutes between them this episode but I'm really really happy with what we got. Things feel balanced between them for the first time since he's gotten back. They are finally on solid ground. That angst that permeated their relationship is gone and the only tension that's left is sexual. He's talking to her and isn't lying to her about what he's doing. Telling her that it's not any of her business or to back off. Instead he's keeping her in the loop and she's actually a part of what he's doing.

Guys this is the EO that we've all missed! They are back and they are on the cusp of a romance!

[storiesofsvu]

law and order thoughts/spoilers

as usual, they're out of order thanks to citytv airing them weird, but OC/og/svu, here we go!

HATE that city tv airs these out of order. I would love to see SVU at the same time as everyone else for fucking once.

We stan a bad bitch wife. Even if she is the real villain. And this seems to be the theme of OC. But also why is this bitch’s hair always GEL SLICKED down like this?? -- WAS THAT A GAY THOUGHT?! OMG—

OKAY NOT THIS BITCH. THE DR WHO HARVESTED ORGANS WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT!?!!? Fuck…get your extra’s straight PLEASE

Okay. I GET Denise’s pov when it comes to this shit, ESP with Ayanna missing handoff time for what I’m guessing is not the first time post split. But like, why must we bury our gays yet again. Why can’t we just have a fucking happy lgbt relationship SOMEWHERE on one of these shows???

“two people aren’t that close for that long and never sleep together.” Stabler: “you sure about that?”

LOOOOOOLLLLLLL as much as I don’t want EO together at this point, I do love all the little easter eggs that they toss into the shows this season

Ayanna really not fucking around with these rats and girl… I fucking feel you

Course she lied to the police, saw that one coming. Like, this bitch is not dumb, she clearly would’ve dumped the phone and is going to help this guy, like, come on guys…

This bitch is gonna be dead before you get to the Canadian border…

OH SHIT. THIS I DID NOT SEE COMING. Shiiiiitttttt

I’m way more invested in this than I thought I would be. As usual, I think it’s because of Ayanna

Bruh, she’s better at de-escalation than olivia is, I said it.

This man is a CHILD. Like…a CHILD. I’m over him being the main villain of this season I’m over him, please let this only last half a season PLEASE.

I was JUST about to say “man, I think I liked this ep so much because there was so little Stabler” and then he goes and rage punches a mirror in a public bar bathroom. Bruh. You better be paying for that….

**

Mothership time!

Okay… wait… the girl Nolan was with… I could SWEAR that’s kat’s cousin/sister/whatever….but shit aint up on imbd yet so someone remind me to look this up later.

Also…did we *really* need t have two vicious subway attacks two weeks in a row guys??

Also also….sir… you are not a cop..you do not have a weapon…why are you running *toward* the shooting.

Great acting though dude, props to the shaky hands looking legit.

Cosgrove: where the hell did he go? Bruh… you’re asking that like you were in hot pursuit… he’s LONG GONE

 All they need to do to prove this wasn’t the shooter is run a quick gsr test… like…stop pushing that angle and work the other ones.

ROSSI??!! Jfc… lololol

Okay I’m 99% sure lacey’s mom was a vic on svu….like I get it, there are only so many actors, esp for extras and in nyc but like…cmon.. lololol (sidebar: I need imdb to update pls) (update: its not lol)

I bet that they didn’t tell the mom that kate knows sign and all of this could be thrown out by a lawyer later on, though they could claim its just lip reading but like, she did invoke and a good attorney would throw hands over this. (even if they’re not associated…I cant remember the proper word rn lol)

ACCOMPLIASE! THAT’S THE WORD!

Listen… I just don’t like jack mccoy. I don’t know why. And it’s more him in the new season, didn’t mind him in the earlier svu eps (minus him threatening casey’s licence multiple times but at least Donnelly had her back)

God Sam’s so fucking hot. I may need to rewatch the last season so I can accurately start writing for her… and that RED. PLEASE!?!

Okay Nolan and this other attorney defs fucked/dated in the past. There’s no questioning it

TAKING THE JURY ON THE TRAIN!?? Well…never seen this shit before…(I wasn’t paying attention prior to the train so like, if that was some weird imagine thing, pardon me lol) but like DAMN.

I need to have a couple of eps without Nolan. I want to see Sam take first chair or a solo case.

Yeah they definitely dated…

Okay that episode was heavy.. if you’re going to watch, be known that it could defs be triggering, both the opening segment, the main living victim’s testimony and the jury on the crime scene train was all a LOT

**

SVU fucking finally. Bring me my babies please!!

Therapy! Thank fucking god! I mean, she’d obvi have to be post shooting, but like, still. Thank fuck

Okay this amanda does seem like more early season amanda, like, the defensiveness, the closed off, please don’t be that closed off with your friends or carisi pls.

But also like, fuck. How hard it must be to deal with what happened when you’re at home with the girls when you can’t pick either of them up because there’s a hole in your stomach….

“we bring HOME” ???!!!! SO THEY LIVE TOGETHER NOW, RIGHT!?? UGH. THE CUTENESS. I ADORE PAPA CARISI

Okay I cant decide if amanda would be all over this case because of her obsession with social media/reality tv and the like, or if she would just roll her eyes at the way the girl was acting because she’s done that shit in the past like with… skye…I cant remember her real name but when the vics don’t see themselves as vics or want help amanda usually shoves them away

“she’s a millennial, they’re entitled” OUCH OLIVIA, OUCH.

YES!! MUNCY! YES!! I LOOVE when they bring in actors reality’s into their characters (and molly’s a huge sports fan)

Yeah right, “my daughter’s a huge fan” amanda?! Please. It’s you.

Girl…if you wanted to not be followed and not stand out why tf are you wearing a BRIGHT pink hoodie??

Liv looking *fire* thank god this season did her so much better

Ugh COUCH CUDDLES GOD LORD HEY ARE FEEDIN US WELL

Would have been made 10000 times better IF she was wearing the Fordham hoodie

Oh jesus fucking christ. I stand by what I said earlier; amanda could never have been coping through this without having someone else helping her with the kids cause she is not okay…

That ring is not gorgeous. It looks like a cheap ass plastic kids toy ring

This case is giving me major Spousal Privilege vibes.

Okay that *is* Tensley Addams mom…

HAAAAA!! I KNEW THE WARDROBE ADVICE WAS COMING lololol. Like, nick got told to shave INSTANTLY, this girls been walking around in jeans and baggy hoodies for way too long now.

Okay, I know this is “based” off the depp/heard case, and honestly, I’m (so far) super happy with the way they’ve done it. It could’ve been a LOT more obvious and this is like, the right way of taking “ripped from the headlines” and making it into a plot bunny for an actual episode.

Im sorry… THAT’S austin’s lawyer?!?! The so called “most expensive, best lawyer in the city?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? No.. absolutely not. (and this isn’t even me being salty about rita not being around…this is just be thinking there’s no way she’s the best he could get…) (and no offence to her, it’s the costuming choice in her first scene…bruh…no..) (arraignment outfit much better)

YES!! YES!! THEY LIVE TOGETHER!!! (also there was so definitely more to that office scene and they cut it… FUCK)

Theres something going on with the red pants in the gallery, theres too many of them to it not be a thing…

 Okay, I was right for the red pants

She can’t close the courtroom??? Seriously?? I thought that was a thing? And was honestly already wondering why the gallery wasn’t cleared.

Eeeeecckkk I know carisi is doing exactly what he needs to for court, but like…that argument would be something that would directly affect and hurt amanda, esp the state she’s in rn. Thankfully, I don’t see her in the courtroom so at least she wasn’t witness to that…

THAT ROLIVIA SCENE OH MY GOD PERFECTION

So…the girl asks for a back exit from the precinct cause she think papp’s followed her, but she walks out the front stairs of the courthouse post verdict???

How tall is this kid!?? Like he’s bigger than carisi?!

Okay, we were fed WELL tonight besties. I am so thankful to finally see amanda realizing what her issues are and dealing with them while having the full support of her (presumably) closest friend liv and her love, like, this is healing, this is growth and progress. Do I hate that she’s going to leave in a few eps? Absolutely. But this is so much better than the past.

This week had yet another great episode.

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

I have to reblog this again because I have been watching Season 10 back, specifically the episodes about the Beck’s.

Adam is one of those men who can be a father to anyone. Among him is Elliot Stabler and Hank Voight. Not every man can just father any child/young adult off the street. They can.

When Kim and Adam first found Makayla, he took to her right away. And although she was placed elsewhere for a while, when Adam and Kim first adopted her and took her in, he was there just as much as she was. He became her father. The only reason he wasn’t straight away was because Kim pushed him away or was hesitant to love him again (if I remember correctly). He didn’t want to step on her toes either, since they weren’t really together.

And Adam, the very second he was undercover, he took to Callum just the same. I mean, he cared about that kid more than most of the other people in intelligence. He was concerned for Callum more than anyone else. And it was his ultimate downfall at the end of the season, because oh-so-poetically, Callum was the one who shot him and seriously injured him.

Hank Voight, well that man will take to any person who is younger than him. I mean, he is such a father, deeply rooted in his personality. He was like that before he lost Justin. Think of D’Anthony, as we saw on the show, or even Erin! Not to mention Noah, Lexi his CI, Ana Avalos, and etc. He was immediately warm and fatherly to Callum when he first met him, talking him out of that square.

I came into Chicago PD hating Hank Voight for what he’d done to Casey and Hallie on Chicago Fire, as well as the way he treated Gabby/Toni. But in season one, on the episode titled “Thirty Balloons,” when Hank found the tied up RA and instead of running after the guy and leaving her, he held her close and told her it was going to be alright and that she was safe?? That was the moment I fell in love with him. Because even something so insignificant in the long run meant everything to that girl. She needed comfort in that moment after being tied up and hurt. Maybe being in college myself at the time biased my view, but if it were me? At that age? I would’ve clung to him just the same way. And he held her and that’s what matters.

And heck, I’ll throw this in there, that sometimes even the way he treats Trudy is dad-like. The episode comes to mind where she is mugged and her father is murdered. When Hank catches up with her later and says “you’re not me.” I know they’re equal and have been good friends a long time, but the point is Hank can “father” anyone at any point. Isn’t that the point of Season 11’s finale? That he was basically a dad to Hailey? Didn’t he visit her in her new apartment and help her out? I seem to remember more than once. I mean, he doesn’t visit Adam and Kim and Makayla (that we know about) or Dante and his mother, or Antonio and his family or Jay at any point. But he is there for them in a very fatherly way whenever something happens. His whole rule was “tell me the truth so I can lie for you.” If that isn’t the most fatherly thing you’ve ever heard, idk what is. A father who would sacrifice anything, even himself, for his children.

Now, I am not as versed in the Law & Order world. I am on season 8 of SVU currently. But Elliot stabler has this raw biological attractiveness. He can pick up any child and just be a father to them. I don’t have specific examples off the top of my head, but maybe my L&O SVU friends can add to this and cite some. But watching him on screen, he’s not physically attractive but biologically attractive to me, as my woman brain often says “suitable mate detected.”

Please, feel free to add to this list. I find a lot of men physically attractive, sure, but when they can naturally be a father? 🤌 That’s the good stuff.

Speaking about amazing plots into the Chicago PD in the last seasons!

What about season 10 that brought to us the amazing story of Adam Ruzek going undercover into a group of white supremacy while been the father of a Kid of Color.

He is one of those caracther that gotta a rich storyline with the seasons in this 10 years...

Now please! LETS GET ADAM & KIM WEDDING

[causewhywouldnti]

My thoughts as I’m watching 24 seasons of law & order svu:

Season 14

14x01, since when is the dresscode an issue, are we forgetting Elliot showing up in an Hawaiin shirt in season 2? I like that Casey from Chuck is here though.

14x02, I hate that every relationship for Olivia seems to come out of nowhere. Happend with that Moss guy, Haden and now again with Cassidy. Don‘t get me wrong, I‘d still prefer Stabler over any of them, even if there was build up, but at least it would make sense. Also Olivia saying „Something about a man in a hospital bed“ to Cassidy is just stupid considering how often Stabler was in one.

14x03, here comes Barba.

14x04, Richard Kind!! That last conversation about longtime partners being like a married couple and Bensons response „but you weren‘t“ feels very much like a Stabler/Benson shipper dig.

14x05, Hamish Linklater! That flashback of Liv feels like it was from when she was looking for her father, but i could be completely wrong here…

14x06, Taylor Spreitler! Jane‘s family got to me, must be an awful feeling to think your family doesn‘t want you back.

14x09, starts great with a James Blunt song, and I loved the ending!

14x13, liked the cold case. Benson and Bayard make a good team!

14x14, Hate what they did to Dana! Also, if Stabler had been here, he would have managed to get injured in some way this episode. Marcia is a great actress though!

14x15, Would have actually liked to see more training. Two things I hate: Rollins' sister and Tucker.

14x16, well, that‘s just sad.

14x17, what can I say, I just don’t like Cassidy.

14x19, Psychopath is definitely the right word for that boy, geez.

14x24, I was not looking forward to this episode. Knowing what was to come, made the whole episode much harder than if I‘d have known nothing. The actor is really good. But I could have done without this episode (and all the other ones building on this). Also, the victim was supposed to be 60, she looked 80, I‘m sorry, but the age I found really hard to believe..

Favorite episode: 14x06, 14x09 and 14x20

Favorite line:

"Want me to sing you guys a song?" "Lord no" - Fin and Rollins 14x04

"Fin, we want to avoid civilian causalities." Cragen 14x15

[navalcriminalimagines]

Pairings: Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader

Warnings: none?

Words: 4,511

Prompt: Rafael spent years keeping his feelings for you hiding.

Missed shot

When Rafael Barba started to work with Manhattan’s SVU, you’d been a detective there for almost two years. You joined the squad shortly before Stabler left. You saw Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins joining in too. At first, Cragen partnered you with Amanda, and Olivia with Nick, but considering it wasn’t working between Liv and Nick, changes were made, and Nick became your partner.

You two quickly became close, like a brother-sister relationship. He told you about his issues with Maria, you were the first (and only one) to know when him and Amanda became a thing. So, obviously, you told him your secret.

“This is Tomas,” you told Nick, as you were showing him a picture of an 8-year-old boy. “My son,” you added. “Don’t bother counting, I did give birth to him when I was 17.”

“He’s cute. Looks a lot like you,” Nick smiled at you. “Nobody in the squad know?” he asked.

“Cragen does. But he’s our Captain and it’s in my file. But the rest, nope,”

“Why not?”

You told him more about your debut in the police. At first, you did hide the fact that you were a mom. But you quickly realized that your coworkers and others were judging you. People took you as immature, non-serious, and some guy actually pictured you as an easy girl. You hated every second of your debut. So, when you joined the bomb squad, you decided to make your son a secret. It’s much better this way.

Olivia learned about your son when she took Cragen’s place. A part of her was surprised, but another wasn’t. She saw you with kids, you do have that mother instinct. And of course, she promised that nobody would know about Tom.

Working with the SVU squad wasn’t an evidence for Rafael Barba. Nick gave him hard time for no apparent reasons, Amanda wasn’t a fan of him. Fin didn’t care much. But luckily, Olivia welcomed him nicely and then there was you. You were sweet to him, kind. You asked him if you whether call him “Rafael” or “Barba” – “Your choice,” he answered. You ask him how he’s doing every time you see him. You usually bring him a coffee when you stopped by his office.

You’re nice, gorgeous, young, smart, badass… it didn’t take long for Rafael to get interested in you. More than just as coworker. But this couldn’t be happening, so he started to stay away from you as much as possible. At first, it was easy since Rafael only sees you as a detective. He doesn’t know anything about you outside of the office, only that you have Swedish origins from your father. He doesn’t want to know more. He doesn’t need to.

But despite himself, he overheard conversations between you and Nick every now and then. When the name “Tom” came back multiple times, Rafael assumed you had a boyfriend. Good. This should make things easier.

For two years working together, you and Rafael had a normal work relationship. He kept his crush under-wrap, seeing people every now and then, when the thought of you was too much. Sometimes it was one-night stands, sometimes a bit more. But he never kept seeing the same person for more than two months. That’s when people want to make things more permanent. Rafael doesn’t want that.

Keeping you at arm’s length was perfect for him. He couldn’t let you in. He wasn’t open for a serious relationship, and he felt like you could turn his world upside down if he let you in.

He almost did when Nick got shot. You were very worried for your partner, Rafael almost hugged you when you started to cry in front of him. But Liv called at the same point, so he didn’t. And then Nick left SVU, and New York. His departure hurt you a lot, for a moment, Rafael thought you two had some kind of an intimate relationship. But he remembered a conversation you two had.

“Hey Barba, we’re going out for drinks. Wanna join?” you casually asked.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Okay, first, do you need an occasion to go out for drinks? And second, it’s just that Nick needs to get his mind off the breakup,”

“So, it’s definitely over between him and his wife?”

“Yeah, she’s moving to DC with Zara. He’s not doing great,”

“But he can always count on his other partner,” Rafael said, without thinking.

You chuckled, “What does that mean?”

��You two are—close,” Hopefully, it didn’t sound like jealousy. Which it actually was.

“Amanda is the one he slept with, not me. I’d rather sleep with you,” you left right after.

This was months ago, but Rafael still couldn’t believe you said that. He tried not to overthink about it, but he couldn’t. Was this just a joke? Were you just trying to prove a point? Or did you see him as more than just a coworker? He considered trying to explore this, but before he found the courage to do something about it, Sonny Carisi joined the squad and became your partner.

You missed Nick a lot, but you welcomed Sonny with open arms, unlike the others at first. He will forever be thankful about that. It didn’t take long for Rafael to see that you had a bond with Sonny, just like the bond you had with Nick. Maybe more. Liv told him a few times that being partners when you’re a cop is very special. He understands that, but it doesn’t he likes it when it comes to you.

Few months after Sonny join in, Rafael heard the name Tom again. You must have to Sonny about your boyfriend. Since he didn’t hear that name for months, he assumed that you two had broken up. But apparently not. Meaning that there’s nothing romantic with Carisi, but you still have a boyfriend. So, Rafael tried to forget what you told him and kept trying to convince himself that what he’s feeling for you isn’t love.

More months went by. It was obvious for Rafael that Carisi had a thing for you. He didn’t like it, but there’s nothing he can do. But he kept turning down all of your offers when the squad met up for drinks. He didn’t need that. He didn’t want to know the you outside work.

One day, he showed up to the precinct. No one was nowhere to be find. He spotted a gift wrapped on your desk. Curious, he took a closer look. There was a card. He looked around, still no one. So, he tried to take a look at the card.

“That’s very noisy of you, counselor,” he heard for behind. You. He jumped from the surprise, let go of the card.

“A box on a detective’s desk. Had to be sure it wasn’t a bomb,” he said, trying to keep a straight face. You laughed at his excuse.

“Would love to see your reaction if you saw a bomb,” you said, with a smile on your face. Apparently, you aren’t mad, so that’s good.

“I’d rather not,” he shyly smiled at you. “What would your reaction be?”

“Considering that I’ve been there before, I would keep my calm and do my best to defuse it,” you said before walking to the coffee area. Rafael analyzed your words for a moment before joining you.

“Come again?”

“Spent two years with the bomb squad before joining SVU,” you casually said, handing him the cup of coffee you just poured.

In four years, this was the first personal information you gave him. He almost couldn’t believe it.

“I—I didn’t know,”

“Well, yeah. We never talked about anything else than our cases,”

“True,” he took a sip. “And why would that be? In your opinion,”

“Because you don’t like me,”

You had poured another cup for yourself and walked up straight to your desk after those words. You sat, grabbed the gift to put it aside and started to look at something on your computer. Rafael was stunned for a moment but joined you again. He closed your laptop, and leaned against your desk, right next to you. He had never been this physically close to you before.

“Why in the world would you think that?” He asked.

“We’ve been working together for four years, Barba. Not once, did you show some kind of interest in me. You’re best friends with Liv, you tolerate Amanda, you’re courteous with Fin. Hell, you gave hard time to Sonny for the first year but now you agreed for him to shadow you. But me? I feel like you wish I wasn’t here,”

Rafael stayed silent for a moment, analyzing your words. Indeed, he tried to keep his distance with you, but he never thought it made you feel that way. He felt very bad about himself.

“But hey, no problem, okay? We’ve been able to make it work that way for years, there’s no reasons we can’t keep going,”

“You’re very wrong—about everything, Y/N.”

“Then what is it?” You locked your sweet blue eyes into his. For a moment, he was afraid you may see all the love he has for you in his eyes. What reasonable excuse could he tell you? His mind raced. But thankfully, the rest of the squad came back at that moment.

“Barba, Y/N. Are you interrupting?” Rollins smiled.

“Nope,” Rafael stood up right and followed Liv into her office. You watched him leave. No answer. Again.

The gift was actually from Sonny, but it wasn’t for you. It’s for Tomas, who’s now 13 years old. The father left when you told him you were pregnant (he was a bit older) and never saw him again. You raised Tom by yourself, with the full support of your parents, luckily. Your son showed up his interest in makeup and esthetic about a year ago. You completely support him in his passion, brought him whatever he needed/wanted.

Sonny went shopping with his 16 years old niece Mia during the weekend and she wanted to go to the Sephora. He asked her what he could offer to Tomas.

“Uncle Sonny. Are you trying to seduce the mother by being so nice to the son?” Mia asked with a smirk on her face.

“Okay, first, I wouldn’t need to do that. And second, it’s just that—it’s not easy to be different. I just want him to know that he can count on me,”

“Like you wished you could count on someone when you realized you were bisexual?”

Sonny looked at his niece with wide eyes. He still isn’t out to his family. How could she know? “Last year, I figured that this Sam you talked about wasn’t a she but a he. And--I’m bi, too, Uncle Sonny.”

That’s a lot to process in two minutes, while he is standing in the middle of a makeup store.

“There’s nothing wrong with that…right?” Mia added.

“Oh, of course not, sweetheart!” He immediately answered. “When did you know?”

“I was sure when I fell in love with a girl, a few months ago,” she confessed.

Sonny hugged his niece and kissed her hair. “What’s her name? I’d love to meet her,”

“Joy. And that would be nice. I’m so happy I finally told you,”

“I’ll never judge you. And I’ll always be there for you,”

In the squad, you were the only one Sonny came out to. Which makes the two of you even closer.

After the gift “incident”, you and Rafael didn’t talk again for weeks. To be fair, he was trying to avoid you. He almost confessed his feelings for you and that can’t be happening. After this, Rafael decided to call back a woman he used to see. She’s beautiful, smart, nice and wants the same things he does. Exactly what he needs.

He never wanted to talk about his personal life at work, but one day, you showed up in his office. Rafael was on the phone, his back to the door. He didn’t hear you come in, so he kept making plans with Judith. You listened, and felt your chest tightened.

Before he hung up, Rafael heard the door of his office closing. He turned around; nobody was there but he saw you walking out through the blinds. You had heard and walked away.

When Rafael told you, you were wrong about your assumptions, you thought that maybe he was feeling the same way you did. Turns out, you were wrong.

It was Tom’s 14th birthday. You helped him planned an afternoon party. He told you he invited about 10 friends.

But no one showed up. Your son didn’t feel ashamed about his passion - thanks to you and Sonny, mostly - but apparently, his “friends” didn’t like it.

“Baby, why didn’t you tell me they were bullying you? On Monday I’ll go see your principal,”

“Exactly for this. If you do this, it’s gonna be worse. Maybe I should stop,”

“Stop what? Doing something you like? Not under my watch, T. Those kids are just the reflections of their close-minded parents,”

“Yeah, but at least people show up to their birthday parties,”

It broke your heart to see your son like this. You needed to fix this. You need to see your son happy. All day, every day. You went to the bathroom and called Sonny.

“Sonny, I need you,” you said when he answered. “Short things first, those stupid kids didn’t show up to T’s party. There’s no one here. Can you come? With Mia? And Joy? I’m gonna call Liv, see if she can come with Noah,”

“I’m with Mike right now so he’ll be with me. Call Fin too, we’ll stop by Amanda’s to pick her and Jesse,”

“Okay, that’s great, thanks Sonny,”

“Of course. Tom will remember his 14th birthday I promise. Why don’t you call Barba too?”

“Why in the world would I do that?”

“It would be rude not to. Don’t you think?”

“I guess. I’ll see. Can you be there in about an hour?”

You call Liv and she agreed, same for Fin. But Sonny was right, you had to call Rafael.

“Barba,” he answered.

“Hey, it’s Y/N. Sorry to bother you on Saturday afternoon. Um—if you aren’t busy, what do you think about stopping by my son’s birthday? It’s kinda unfair, but stupid kids didn’t show up. I call everyone, they’re all coming. But hey, don’t feel obligated. You don’t have to if you don’t—“

“Okay,” he answered before you could finish your monologue.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yeah. When should I be there? And how old is he?”

“I said an hour to everyone. And if you’re asking his age to buy him a gift, don’t bother. Right now, all he needs is people to be there to celebrate,”

“Y/N, don’t make me argue please. How old is your son?”

“14.”

“Okay, thanks. See you in an hour then. Text me the address, please,”

“See you, Rafael,”

Rafael tried to stay calm and natural in front of Judith, but there were some many things in his head right now. Since he went to the bedroom to answer your call, he lied to the woman he was with, pretending a work emergency to leave.

You have a kid. A teenage kid, actually. A quick count made him realized you gave birth when you were 17. Many things made sense now. He needs confirmation but it seems clear that, this Tom he heard about, is actually your son, and not your boyfriend like he assumed.

How could he not know about this? You’ve been working together for almost five years now. He really kept his distance with you. But somehow, he still fell hard for you.

“Hey Liv, I got a call from Y/N. I’d like to buy a little something for her son, do you have any idea?”

“Well, do you know anything about makeup?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Liv laughed. “Where are you? I can pick you up and we stop by a store to buy him something,”

“Okay, I trust you on that.”

An hour later, everybody was there. You welcomed them as they arrived. “If he doesn’t like it, that’s on Liv,” Rafael joked as he handed you the gift he had for your son.

“Nope. That’s on that sells woman that was clearly hitting on you,” Liv interjected.

“She wasn’t— okay, she was. But not my type,”

“Yeah, and Judith probably wouldn’t like it,”

“I don’t know about that. And she doesn’t need to know anyway,” he smiled.

Tom’s mood improved when he saw Mia and Joy. You and Sonny introduced them months ago and Tomas is crazy about them.

“What happened to your face?” Mia asked and Tom frowned. “No makeup, seriously T?” She added, before taking him by the hand.

“Wait—“ you stopped them before they reached the bedroom. “Tomas, meet Mike and Rafael, first. They are the only ones you haven’t met yet,”

It made sense that Tom hadn’t met Mike yet, since he joined SVU a couple of months ago. But yeah, it stings to Rafael. Five years. And he didn’t know.

“You look like a cop,” he said Mike, “but you don’t,” he then said to Rafael.

“Cause I’m not. I’m an ADA, Assistant Dis—“

“I know what it is,” he cut him. “Thank you for coming,”

“Can we do his makeup now?” Mia called out and the three of them — adding Jesse who wanted to go too — disappeared in the bedroom for a moment.

“Thanks, guys, for showing up this quick. It’s a mess,” you sadly said. “T told me that he’s being bullied at school because he loves makeup, lets his hair grow. Apparently, they are calling him a sissy,” your jaw clenched. Rafael saw the mama bear in you. “He doesn’t want me to interfere. But maybe I should anyway,”

“You’re here for him. We all are, that’s what he needs,” Sonny said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you comfort. Rafael tried to avoid the jealousy in his belly.

Opening gifts arrived fast. Everyone brought him something, mostly makeup stuff. Sonny actually got him an appointment in a famous hair salon in Manhattan. Now that his hair is long enough, Tom mentioned wanting to get a real haircut. Mike listened to Sonny’s advices for his gift.

“This is from Nick,” Liv said as she gave Tom a gift. “He wants you to call later,”

“Mom!! That’s two tickets for California!” Tomas exclaimed before reading the note. “And he’s offering me surfing lessons! When are we going? Before—“

“Soon, my love.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Then came Rafael’s gift. “You can return it if you don’t like,” he said. But Tom’s face lit up when he saw what it was.

“Mom!!!” He showed you the gift, with a huge grin on his face.

“Wow! You finally got it,” you returned his smile and moved a little to stand by Rafael’s side.

“Thank you so much, Rafael!” Tom stood up and hugged the ADA. Some affection Rafael didn’t expect.

“He’s been bugging me for this palette for weeks. I told him to wait because it’s damn expensive,” you whispered to Rafael.

“It’s okay. I’m glad he likes it,” he just answered.

Tomas was thrilled with all of his gifts. It feels good that with those people, he doesn’t have to hide himself, who he is and what he loves. Later, you noticed that Rafael setback from the others. You stood next to him.

“You’re not mad about the gift, are you?” He asked, before you could say anything.

“A little, to be honest,”

“I can pay for that,”

“I know. I see your clothes every day. But that’s not the point,”

“Then what is the point?”

“For the first five years of his life, I couldn’t buy him things. All the toys he had were gifts from my parents— when I made better money, I spoiled him. For years. And now, he’s a very smart teenage boy but he doesn’t necessarily have the value of money. Which I’m trying to teach him. And you showed up with this hella expensive palette, Nick got him plane tickets and surfing lessons. Even the appointment Sonny got him is expensive. That’s not helping,”

“Great,” he smiled, and you shot him a glare, “you’re not actually mad at me, but more at yourself,”

“Don’t do this. You’re not a parent, Rafael,”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath, “And how come did I do not know you were one?”

“This will just bring us back to our convo from February, don’t you think? And we both know how it ended,”

“We were interrupted,”

“And you’ve been avoiding me ever since,”

So, you noticed that. You always noticed things. He hates that about you. He intensely looked at you, not knowing what to say exactly.

“But don’t worry, Barba, you won’t have to use force for that anymore,” you gently patted his shoulder and joined the others. “My love, do you mind if I steal your thunder for a moment?” You asked your son.

“Nope. Are you going to tell them?”

You looked at Liv for approval and signed Rafael to come closer, which he did. Everybody waited for you to talk. “I—I’m leaving SVU,” you said. There were gasps, widen eyes and Sonny choked on his beer. “Don’t die yet, Sonny. I haven’t finished,” you paused. “It’s no secret that my father was born in Sweden and move here after he fell in love with my mum,”

That, Rafael did know. You talked about your Swedish origins. “After my mum died, my father moved back there. And he’s been bugging us to come with him and considering I’ve always promised this one,” you said, playing with Austin’s hair, “that we would try to live there for a while, I’m actually taking a sabbatical. And next month, we’re flying to Sweden. But we’ll stop by California first, apparently,”

Only Liv knew. So, it came as a shock to everyone else.

The mood changed after that. They were all happy but also sad to see you and Tom leave. Mostly Sonny. It was very rare to witness a silent Sonny Carisi, but this was it. One by one, people started to leave the party. Mia and Joy took your son to the bowling alley. Rafael wanted to be the last so he could have a talk with you, but apparently, Sonny had the same thing in mind.

Rafael was helping you cleaning up the apartment when you noticed Sonny, on your small balcony. “How long has he been there?” You asked Rafael, who just raised his shoulders, clearly annoyed. You joined Sonny, not knowing that Rafael could hear everything you two were talking about.

“You okay there, Sonshine?” Sonny chuckled.

“A bit stunned, I guess.” He said, not looking at you.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I—I was afraid to tell you,”

“Why?”

“Because of what happened a few months ago. Because I’m scared to leave you. Because—I was afraid to change my mind after I told you,”

He finally looked at you. “I’ll never hold you back, Y/N. You know that? You talk so much about Sweden, so does Tom. I’m not completely surprised,”

“Under different circumstances—“ you said, letting the silence says the rest. Sonny turned to his side, so he was facing you.

“I was okay with being your second choice, Y/N, as long as you chose me. But you’re also leaving to be away from him, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “I don’t want to promise you anything, Sonny. But maybe—after that year away—“

He knew what you meant. Sonny put his hand on your cheek, softly caressing your skin with his thumb. Before he could lean in to kiss you, you both heard the balcony window opening. Rafael was standing there. “Who’s your first choice, Y/N?” He just asked. Sonny loudly sighed and turned his back to the lawyer.

“Not important, Rafael.”

“Por favor— answer me.”

“You, idiot,” Sonny muttered, still looking over Manhattan.

“Can—can you come inside for a moment, please?” Rafael asked.

“Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” Sonny said, and turned around to kiss your forehead, “Don’t make anything stupid. Call me,” he kissed your forehead again and walked past Rafael to leave.

“Great timing, Barba,” you sighed.

“I—I don’t understand,” he struggled to say.

“You may be a smart-ass lawyer but when it comes to relationships, you’re very dumb,”

“How long have you—?”

“Been in love with you? About three years. Somehow, the more you pushed me away, the more it made me fall,”

“I pushed you away only because I was scared. Scared of the things I feel for you,”

“You can’t—you can’t confess your love to me as I’m leaving the States, Rafael. That’s not fair,”

“If I don’t do it now, when am I supposed to do it? Over the phone while you’re in Sweden? Or when you come back and choose Carisi?” He paused. “Did you guys sleep together or something?”

“Definitely none of your business,” you said. “And you had five years. Five fucking years, during which all you did was making me feel like a burden for you,”

“I—I never meant to do that. I’m sorry,”

“It’s too late, Rafael. I’m leaving anyway,”

“I’ll wait for you if you ask me to,”

“I’m not. Just like I won’t ask that to Sonny,”

“Then—what? What do we do?”

“Nothing. I’m leaving with my boy in a few weeks, maybe I’ll come back next year, or maybe I won’t. And everybody goes on with their life,”

“Are you saying that I missed my shot with you?”

“Probably,”

This will be hard to swallow. Rafael probably never will, to be honest. But one thing is sure, he couldn’t miss his last chance to kiss you. He closed the gap between your bodies, and slowly put his hands on each side of your face. Since you weren’t pushing him away, he took it as a permission and leaned in to kiss you. He softly put his lips on yours. Right here, right now, on your balcony, nothing else mattered but you and him.

Things escalated quickly. The kiss got more intense, and you used force to make him step back into your apartment. Still kissing each other, Rafael slid his hands on your butt and your legs, gently squeezing to signal you to jump in his arms, which you did. He pulled away briefly, just to ask you which one was your bedroom.

He laid you down on the bed, clothes quickly fly across the room. This probably wouldn’t change a thing, but Rafael made love to you as if his life depends on it.

Indeed, it didn’t change a thing. Two weeks later, you and Tomas flew to California, spent two weeks there with Nick, before flying to Sweden.

Part two, anyone?

[brienneseveruscalawayfanfiction]

Olivia Benson x Reader

trying my hand at a hate/love fic with Liv x reader! anonymous I hoe you like it!

You always seemed to butt heads on everything and anything it would seem. Y/N felt that the moment they walked into the squad room as a replacement for detective Stabler that Olivia hated you, your mere existence seemed to annoy her and the fact that you were supposed to replace Elliot seemed downright laughable,

*Olivia's POV

There was no fucking way in hell that she could have with you or anyone else for that matter what she had or almost had with him.

Ten years worth of arguments and saving one another countless times and you two had finally come to realize that neither of you really had the energy to hate or argue with the other one anymore. With a loud resounding sigh Y/N approached Olivia in her office and asked her if there was anyway they could go somewhere private and have this long awaited discussion in private, so they could both air out their feelings for one another and than move on, in whatever form that took you could only guess. You offered to take her out to dinner to talk but she insisted on any anonymous room in a hotel, no prying eyes or listening ears to worry about at this point.

Y/N arrived at Olivia's hotel room ten minutes after she did and knocked on her door albeit a little too loudly in her anxiousness to get this over with. Olivia nervously answers the door and reluctantly lets you in, thinking to herself that if she doesn't do this soon that she may throw up or pass out!

"Why do you hate me?!" "What on earth have I ever done but try my best at having your back and squads back from day one, I bust my ass and have risked everything for you and them countless fucking times with no regard for my own safety, i wanted you guys to my family or at least allies but because of how you come towards me everyone else has followed suite!" "So what is it than, you, you fucking resent me or hate me because I'm not him, well in that case I am not sure anyone could have hold a candle to the flame that you have kept burning for all these years, and isn't he fucking married to boot?!" "I'll never be him, never be good enough, well I am tired!" "Tired of trying to pretend that your indifference towards me our outright hostility is too much for me to deal with anymore!"

Y/N's face was red with a vein pulsing in the center of her forehead, fists were clenched at her sides and lip quivering with all of her fears and heartache finally be allowed to bubble to the surface and explode. "Well you know what Liv, I fucking hate you and its all your fault for making me feel this for you!" Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she races to the door. But because her tears were now freely flowing down her face she couldn't see the lock and was fumbling with it badly.

Olivia realizing what she has done, what she has caused by alienating you for the last ten years hits her like a ton of bricks and how she must have always known she felt for you, raced after Y/N and grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to them into an embrace.

"Y/N I am so sorry for what I had put you through, I was just so angry and confused when he left and had so many unanswered questions and than you walk in and just added further to my confusion, but that is no excuse for how I have treated you. I think in the beginning I did resent you because you represented a change that I just wasn't ready for or wanted and you enter the picture and turn my entire world upside down, and everything was hard and different and new and I didn't know what to do, so I kept you at arms length. I realize now that what I felt was fear, fear of change and fear of how you made me feel, I have had so many failed relationships that I can't even keep track anymore and I guess I was scared that if I was honest with myself and with you about my feelings, that I would be alone in them, so instead of risking that I pushed you away and alienated you, but I have come to realize that I am in love with you, hopelessly and desperately and completely in love with you and my heart is yours for the taking, if you'll take it."

"I'll take it Y/N whispers softly and yet happily and pulls Captain Olivia Benson into a kiss that truly takes her breath away. You both spend the rest of the day and evening exploring one another's bodies and making love until dawn. You both awoke early afternoon still entangled in one another's embrace and smiled at one another. Olivia leans in and passionately kisses Y/N and says "Good afternoon sweetheart." "Good afternoon Liv."

After freshening up and than making love again only to have to freshen up again, you both checkout together holding onto one another like newly weds with how you couldn't stop touching or being close to one another now that you had things worked out and in the open that is.

Olivia decided it was time to also take you home with her and properly introduce you to her son Noah who fell in love with Y/N and said "I knew you liked her mama." "Oh you did, well that's news to me, always the last one to know." Olivia says laughing while hugging her son close to her and locking eyes with you. "Come here baby" and kisses you deeply in front of Noah who giggles at the public display of affection.

You guys spent the day at the park picnicking and watching Noah play and than tucking him in together after dinner because you both had exhausted that child by all the fresh air you got.

Olivia while standing in the doorway to her son's room watched as Y/N finished up with reading to him and when she pressed her lips to his forehead in a good night kiss felt that after ten long and lonely years of sadness and broken relationships she had finally found her silver lining, with you she had her family complete, with you she had finally found her happy ending after all.