#you gotta fake it till you make it

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

"I can do it with a broken heart" but make it Fitz Vacker

[beardedmrbean]

[black-queen-rising]

I love my sister more than anything in this life, I would choose her happiness over mine every time

14 Years Ago...

There was a fine line between anger and rage for Rhaenyra Targaryen, she was infamous in her ability to slip from one into the other in the span of a single heartbeat, but that day she had already crossed it halfway through the flight over the Blackwater Bay that separated Dragonstone from King’s Landing. The Crown Princess had been invited to a betrothal ball, a formality laced with the sentiment that she need not come, and was now returning to her childhood home for the first time in several moons—forced to leave all three of her young sons and her husband of only half a year, Prince Daemon, behind on their home—with the singular purpose of ensuring the union this ball was being held to celebrate did not occur for another three years at minimum.

Rhaenyra entered the castle in a whirlwind of jewels and finery, as her every attendance of court during her family’s remandment to Dragonstone was to be nothing less than unforgettable in those years; lest anyone try to fool themselves as to who steadfastly remained the King’s heir. Her presence greeted with the half adoration and half ire it always elicited from her father’s court for as long as she could recall. The weight of the matter even tied Rhaenyra through biding both her tongue and time during court proceedings, a small council meeting, and a performatively polite family dinner. Once it was late, however, when night had fully come, and her father finally summoned her to discuss her arrival privately, she wasted no time in initiating her plan of attack while his guard was low. After their expected pleasantries and updates were exchanged, the twenty-three-year old, newly widowed, even more newly wed, Crown Princess decided bluntly.

"You know, I cannot decide if I am more disappointed in you for such an insult to my mother's memory or ashamed of myself for believing in the fantasy you still considered it at all." "You dare to accuse me of such--" "Five dead babes. Wedded and bedded at three and ten, to give you five dead babes, and me, that is Queen Aemma's memory; made to produce your heirs so young, and for so long, that it killed her. I truly believed you mourned that, regretted it, even, only to come to learn by raven that you wish the same fate on my sweet sister, on your own daughter."

Viserys was quiet for so long that Rhaenyra began to fear this time she had finally, truly overstepped. She knew, however, that if this was the line, Helaena was entirely worth it, her youth, her fertility, her life was worth even more. "I have found...few reasons to deny the Queen anything as of late," Her father sighed, it was equal parts a confession and an accusation; this is my position, this is the position you have put me in.

She scoffed, why am I not surprised? and nearly responded with the thought on instinct, but instead rebuked, "You may punish me, reduce my position in your court, jeopardize my sons' futures, all to appease your wife, to provide recompense for a four year old's accident. Perhaps I even deserve it, and even if not, a quieter kind of peace within your court is worth whatever damage it does to the future you still claim to wish will come where I am Queen. But you will not punish your daughter, my sister, a maid, a child, by acquiescing to such an inane request as to wed a Princess of the Realm, while our family is far from wanting in spares, at the age of three and ten."

The King put his head in his hands for another long moment before looking back at Rhaenyra in genuine surprise, "You fear for her life?"

All she could do was sneer at him, "You look at me as if I ordered your son's eye cut out myself."

"Your concern is admirable, and understandable, especially after all that has happened over the last year," His tone has all at once turned gentle, but with a condescending edge better suited to calm a wailing toddler, "But all the same, the idea that what happened to your mother was anything more than a tragedy of circumstance, that her age had the least bit to do with it...you're allowing your fears to be dictated by nothing more than pure speculation by those whose very job it is to speculate on what we do not, and cannot, know."

Her father's attempts at comfort had only angered her further, however, causing her to spit back, "So you wish to bet Helaena's life against my mother's mother, and your mother, and my mother, and all of them succumbing to the birthing bed before they even had a chance to watch their babes grow up?"

"But look at yourself, Rhaenyra, and your boys, you have--"

"I have been lucky!" She finally shouts, her rage pushing her back to her feet to glower over Viserys, "I have nothing to thank except luck and time! And you cannot give Helaena my luck anymore than myself or your Queen, but you can give her time. Allow her to wait until she comes of age, as you did me, as is the least any girl whose family is secure deserves. Allow Aegon the same, allow him at minimum what our "Good Queen" allowed your brother before selling him off out of spite. And perhaps luck will hold, and my sister will find a better fate than my mother, and your son won't be put through all the same pain as your brother."

"Your husband," The King shot back.

Rhaenyra simply smiled, "Yes."

The silence that followed was the longest yet, but this time she did not allow herself to indulge in fear nor anxiety, standing with her hands leaned on her father's desk, daring him to provide a reason why her sister's life was not worth three short years. "I ought to make you my Hand for this."

"Is that so?" She laughed wryly, "I heard you've still refused to name one, tell me, does your indecision extend to everyone except your children, or only to matters that you anticipate will anger others when you finally have to make a choice."

Viserys laughed too then, though his seemed genuinely amused, "And that, my dear, is precisely why. Few else in The Realm could criticize me as you have since you could speak, and unlike the rest, you come to me with solutions. The Lords would never accept you in the role so young, with this marriage so fresh in everyone's minds, so," His voice turned to the business-like formality it always had when he was finally forced to make a decision, "In three years Aegon and Helaena will wed, and once they have, you may become my Hand, Grandmaester Munkun can shoulder the role until then. A deal to benefit our whole family, a remedy to the sacrifices you and Queen Alicent have had to bear."

The King left the room only a few minutes later, satisfied, and set in his decision after Rhaenyra's gracious conclusion and masterful ego stroking. As she stood to leave as well, she knelt sharply by a grate in the wall, behind which was a secret passage the Crown Princess and her Consort both knew of, but the King did not. A pair of large, purple eyes framed by messy silver hair blinked back at her in astonishment, and she simply smiled once more, "Never let there be any doubt that even when it seems I do not like you all, I will always love you, we're blood, remember that this is what that means. Now get back to bed, protecting you from our father is work enough, I don't need you setting off your mother's temper anymore than I already have."

There was a sound that could easily be mistaken for rats scurrying in the walls as the passage behind the grate was vacated. Then Rhaenyra walked off to bed herself, pleased with her accomplishments and ecstatic in her power.

[deansmom]

It really is a shame that Dean Winchester is dead because he would ride so hard for the tortured poet’s department 😔🖤✊🏻

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

to add on to the philosophy of 'you're not unattractive you're just not your type' -

sometimes, you gotta see yourself in other people first in order to comprehend your own beauty

this works both in body positive and in gender affirming ways of course. who among us has not felt better about the things that cause us gender dysphoria after seeing someone else w the same features absolutely own it?

but today i'm mostly thinking about being at the grocery store and seeing the beauty in a stranger's exposed belly as their skin folds when they reach around for something and their croptop rides up, hips turning and revealing pale stretch marks.

like. oh. yeah my belly folds like that. my hips look like that. and they're beautiful.

or when a cashier at the gas station laughs at a joke you made and when they smile it's all pink gums and little peeking teeth.

and you think wow. what a lovely smile. i smile like that.

idk. i just think that falling in love with the mundane beauty of the people around you can sometimes help remind you of your own quiet beauty.

[meandmypagancrew]

In My Gif Era - Speak Now World Tour

↪ Fearless

in this passenger seat

you put your eyes on me

california, now capture it,

remember it

[marcirose]

Imagining that Riku checks in with everyone during the year Sora's gone and he tries to keep it together even tho everyone can tell he's not okay

[microwave-prince]

I dunno. YAPPING HEADS UP YALL. In the whole post and tags and everything.

Hope everyone enjoys the potential influx of drawings that will be hitting this blog once school starts back up for me(in like four days, nearly technically three since this one is almost over with!). I can't promise I'll post everyy little drawing and doodle, but do expect a lot of traditional stuff!!

Perhaps an influx in drabbles or stories too👀

Truthfully, I'm kinda extra excited for it! Something about traditional drawing just feels extra in-control to me with how my lines are gonna turn out and stuff, probably cause I spent so long doing it! Not that I won't miss some perks of digital, haha! Maybe I'll do one of those things sometimes where you draw it traditionally, and then transfer it over to digital for like finalizing it and stuff?🤔 that could be very interesting..

But I haven't gotten to draw my boys a lot, and so I'm quite excited to get to really work out on drawing them and getting them stylized to my art style! Especially to where I can just crank out doodles of them without lookin up images or anything, hehe!! Will I be a complete mess trying to do it? Yes absolutely. Especially with Octavius. Good sir I mean this in the most respectful way possible but REMOVE YOUR CHESTPLATE before it KILLS ME. You are getting de-soldiered treatment, you can keep your red tunic that's all your getting

[makeitlookdecent]

you ever had a class with that one person who's always sleeping, not paying attention, never in class but they are still somehow passing with (almost) flying colors? teacher calls on them while they sleep in class to have a 'gotcha' moment?? but they still answer the question flawlessly???

thats him.

[yvonnesrespite]

Wanted to hop in and say I absolutely adore Yvonne and I wish I had a fraction of her bad bitch energy-

“Hmm, say that again?” Yvonne asks, tilting her head with that oh so mischievous glimmer in her eyes. It doesn’t seem malicious at least.

With a giggle, the nurse blows you a kiss like it’s a normal Tuesday afternoon.

“I heard you the first time, don’t worry. I just like the praise.”

Before she returns to her nurse duties, she has one last thing to say. Or do. She rummages through a drawer in the desk and takes out one of those little smiley face stickers that teachers put on their students’ tests if they got a good grade.

And she places it on the back of your hand.

“You can definitely tap into that bad bitch energy, lovey. Who’s gonna stop you? Chances are that those who try to stop you are wishing that they had your confidence and bravery too. Your happiness and comfort comes first.”

She sits back down and waves at the sweet soul that stopped by.

“After all, we’re stuck with ourselves so we should try to be our own biggest fans, even if it’s a slow road there. I gotcha in the meantime!”

Words of the wise. Girlboss Gospel. Take it. She only reveals her secrets every so often if the price it right (like Greyson’s baking), or if she does feel like sharing.

[stvlti]

I'm gonna need you all to stop saying "I suck at summaries" or "I don't know how to write the summary just give this story a chance" in your fic summaries

I'm serious. Nothing puts me (and presumably many readers) off a fic faster than an author who is self deprecating about their own work. who's gonna spend their time reading your story when even you, the author, don't believe in it?

[shiwhomakes]

nothing makes me feel like i have my life together like a warm cup of green tea slowly going stale on the desk while i indulge in my productive pretence

[black-queen-rising]

Promise To Be Dazzling

(A style board for Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen in the @asongofgoldenfireandblackblood RP)

[neiptune]

if you celebrate christmas i hope you're having the best time and sparkly decorations and ignited fireplaces and cozy blankets and ugly sweaters and family reunions and good movies and yummy cookies (feel free to send a pic of your tree i love peeking)

if this is a rough time, please know i'm thinking of you! the holidays can be cold and lonely and waiting for this whole season to be over can be a pain in the ass but it's not gonna last forever & remember, you are loved. plus, you can still bake yourself yummy cookies 🍪

[arsapeek]

It's called a self-fulfilling prophecy, and a great way to counter it is to do the opposite. By telling yourself that you ARE lovable, you rebuild that confidence and act in ways that make you easier to love.

one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle

[girlivealwaysbean]

i thought i would have like crippling anxiety while driving but im so spaced out that i can't even process anything and my brother thinks wow you're so confident