#you get a lot of stupid people but the nice ones can make it so much better
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(Don’t) sing to me - Siren!Seonghwa x reader
pairings: Siren!Seonghwa x pirate!reader
warnings: Siren!Seonghwa, cunnilingus, emotional manipulation, hypnosis, non-con, afab!reader, slight yandere, mentions of blood and gore, purely fiction, captivity, kidnapping, why is Seonghwa always pussy drunk in these
minors DNI
You threw your head around, panic fogging your mind. The only thing you saw was the blood, the dead bodies, the open wound on your own thigh.
You couldn’t tell if it was the loss of blood or the sheer weight of the situation that made you so dizzy that you could barely walk straight when you tried to make it to the safe place of the ship. You saw your captain, lying bloody, trying to reach out for you, but you had to look away.
In these situations, you had to save yourself, you knew that. That’s why you felt so stupid when you turned around to help the poor man.
You had never planned to become a pirate, but when you were abandoned and the crew seemed to find you right when you needed them most, you couldn’t help but accept the offer.
When things like this would happen, you almost regretted your decision. Although you had been in these situations before, it had never been this brutal. You mourned the men you had lost so far, but you feared the amount of men lost in this raid would be double the amount you had in your entire life on this ship.
You tried to keep yourself focused on the task at hand, keeping your captain alive. Hongjoong had always told you that we lived in a cruel world, and the most important thing was always going to be to save yourself. That might’ve been the reason for him silently fighting you when you tried to dress his deep wounds.
He couldn’t even utter a word, but his eyes said it all. Save yourself, or you will get us both killed.
But you ignored him, and kept trying to stop his bleeding, wincing when you felt your own wound sting.
You managed to somewhat stop the bleeding, before dragging him to the safe room. He wasn’t heavy, but with your current injuries, pulling his body felt like the hardest mission you had ever encountered.
You were more than happy to find other people in the room, although they were all injured. Well, all except one. The one person everyone had to keep alive: the doctor.
Yunho ran up to you with his eyebrows furrowed, looking you up and down as you collapsed on the floor, leaning against the wall. You watched as someone else carefully picked up Hongjoong, bringing him to safety.
”Are you crazy?” Yunho asked, grabbing your face harshly to get your attention. You looked down, but felt too tired to even apologize. You knew he was thankful, whether he would admit it or not. Everyone knew that Hongjoong was the most important person on this ship, and anyone would’ve gladly sacrificed you to keep him alive, they just didn’t want to admit it.
You watched as Yunho used his medical tools, your vision slowly getting darker as you leaned your head against the wall, that almost seemed like a soft pillow right now.
”Hey!” Yunho suddenly slapped you lightly on your cheek. ”You need to stay awake, you hear me!?” he said. You felt warm in your chest when you saw the worry in his eyes. It felt nice to know that someone wanted to keep you alive.
You slowly nodded at his earlier question. ”You’ve lost a lot of blood,” Yunho said, probably just talking to keep you from falling asleep. ”Listen, you have to stay strong.”
You listened to him as he took your hand in his. ”They’re still lurking around here, and we have to make sure that we can go up against them,” he informed.
Right, you thought. The only reason he’s keeping you alive is so you can fight, so you can keep everyone safe, keep Hongjoong safe. You frowned, but the moment was interrupted by the sound of a harsh bang on the door.
The room froze, everyone’s eyes flying towards the door. You saw the large axe that had managed to get through the thick door, and it was like you knew. You knew that this was it, you were going to die.
You were all going to die.
You felt Yunho’s arms pick you up, making you wince quietly in pain as you were reminded of the big wound on your leg. Another bang was heard, this time with the sound of loud male voices.
There were more of them now. You desperately wanted to stay strong, but you couldn’t even stop your eyes from watering in fear when you heard the third and last bang before the door fell to the floor.
You watched the countless armed men fill the room, slaughtering the already weak people. Yunho quickly put you on your feet again, but you could barely even stand. You watched in panic as Yunho did what you should’ve probably expected him to.
He went to Hongjoong.
You couldn’t help but feel an ounce of betrayal. Yunho had been the first person you ever really made friends with on this ship, so seeing him so effortlessly pick Hongjoong over you, it hurt.
You grabbed your knife, fiercly trying to get through the crowd of people, but it was terrifying. You heard the most gut wrenching screams from your crew members, saw blood splattering out of another pirate’s chest as you stabbed him without mercy.
But you never stopped moving. You never stopped moving until you saw an opening. You decided that this was going to be the time when you really took Hongjoong’s advice, so you saved yourself.
You ran out on deck, even as your wound reopened and you screamed louder than ever before, you knew what you had to do.
Sure, the water would be cold, sure, you would leave your entire crew when you might’ve been able to fight more for them, but you didn’t care. You simply saved yourself.
And if you were going to die - which it felt like when the ice-cold water met your skin and its salt seeped into your wound - you were at least going to die here, not by some ruthless pirate stabbing you to death.
You swam and swam, but noticed that you hadn’t even gotten very far. You felt your legs starting to give out, your head getting foggier and foggier for every second, until your body finally started sinking down.
You didn’t fight it, you didn’t scream. You let yourself succumb to the sweetness of death, and right before the darkness came, you heard the sound of a beautiful song, almost hypnotic. You were satisfied that the last thing you would hear before you finally died would be this angelic voice, soft enough to finally allow you to let go of the tiny bit of hope that you had tried so hard to hold on to.
˚⋆𓇼˚⊹ 𖦹 ⁺。°
The moment he laid his eyes on your face, he knew you were the perfect prey. As you finally stopped resisting him, finally accepting your fate, he knew you were going to be perfect.
His turquoise fins shimmered in the moonlight, enough to make any sailor turn his head.
He watched as your chest slowly rose and fell, smiling at the fact that his magic had worked, even when he feared it was too late. His fingers traced your lips - that were starting to turn blue from the immense cold - and he made sure his long fingernails didn’t graze your fragile skin.
In the long hours of silently observing you, Seonghwa thought to himself that he had learned so much about you from simply looking at your sleeping form.
The harsh skin of your palms, slightly burned from having handled rope on the ship, the dangling jewelry hanging from your pierced ears, and the thing that made him whimper in worry: a large wound on your thigh, so filthy and deep that it made him wince.
He knew his healing could work to some extent, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle this. But that’s what he spent the rest of your unconscious hours on. Trying to heal you completely.
He used his precious saliva to clean your wound carefully, its powers slowly healing the injury. He continued his sweet singing, keeping you lulled in a peaceful sleep.
But now that he had healed you best to his abilities, he just lay there next to you in his small cave, watching you peacefully rest.
As much as he adored watching you, he couldn’t help but feel worried. Why weren’t you waking up? Hadn’t his magic worked properly?
He tried shaking you, tickling you, pinching you, and his favorite method - kissing you awake. But none of it seemed to work.
To Seonghwa, it felt as if several days had passed since he found you by the ship, but in reality, it might’ve not been more than one.
Due to his concerns, he always stayed by your side, dipping into the water ever so often to hydrate his fins, but soon returned to slowly run his long nails through your wet and salty hair, watching your expression closely, begging for you to wake up.
˚⋆𓇼˚⊹ 𖦹 ⁺。°
You acknowledged the fact that you were aware, that you were still feeling things, experiencing things. And although you would’ve been ecstatic about it at any other given moment, considering you were sure you had died, you couldn’t help but feel tired.
Hadn’t you accepted the fact that you were dead? You felt as if you had welcomed death with open arms when you felt the sharp pain of the water entering your lungs, so why were you still here.
You couldn’t see, you couldn’t hear, but you could think. You tried to sense your surroundings, but your mind seemed to have left your body.
You paused mentally. Was this the true nature of death? Was there really an afterlife? Had all of those sayings about souls been real?
Your mind felt like it spun around, the confusion growing inside of you. That was, until you heard a sound.
It was that beautiful sound that you had heard right before you lost consciousness. That voice, as if the notes it sang were engraved in silver.
You heard the sweet humming, making your head feel fuzzy. Why were you so drawn to it? Why was it so desperately trying to pull you out of your slumber?
The second time you were aware, you felt a new sensation enter your system. You tried to squirm, but then remembered that you couldn’t control your body - did you even have one anymore? Were these all just hallucinations? Or was the sensation of cold lips exploring your neck real?
For every time you regained consciousness, the sensations grew stronger. You could hear sounds clearly, feel the outline of a hand against your skin, but you couldn’t move to touch it.
Until one time, when you could.
Your eyes opened, and it was as if all the senses you had missed out on, now came crashing down on you. You felt the sharp pain in your thigh as you moved, felt the gnawing hunger in your stomach, and the cold air hitting your wet skin.
The creature in front of you seemed to notice your discomfort, even though you couldn’t utter a word. He quickly ran his tongue up and down your neck, clicking and humming lowly as you squirmed around in his hold.
Your eyes traveled down, and widened in fear as they did so. The wound on your leg was barely visible anymore, and the most chocking thing of all, was the blue and green glowing light radiating off of the man in front of you. Off of his fins.
You found the energy to move away from him, your arms slowly scooting you towards the cave wall. You watched as his face contorted into a large frown, his body inching closer towards you right away.
You retreated your head from his hands as he tried to hold you, but did it to no avail. His hands grabbed your face, and you shrieked when you felt the large nails against your skin, but he only whined as you shook your head.
”No,” he said, and you could tell this wasn’t his mother’s tongue. Your eyes clenched shut in fear when his face inched closer to yours, and you didn’t know what you had expected, but it wasn’t this.
You felt his mouth against yours, his long tongue entering your mouth without your permission, but even when you wanted to hate it, the feeling of his tongue in your mouth, the sound of the peaceful humming as he licked and kissed, it made you relax.
His lips traveled down your neck, his tongue slightly warming you up in the shivering state you were in, as he continued singing. You felt your eyes rolling back into your skull, and noticed how you weren’t fighting back anymore.
The only thing you could do was stare at his beauty as he continued running his hands up and down your cold legs, his eyes looking deep into yours.
”My human,” he smiled in between his hums, his head traveling lower down your body until he was slowly kissing your stomach.
He lifted the fabric of your blouse that hadn’t fully dried yet due to the humidity of the air in the cave you were in. You closed your eyes when he slowly started unbuttoning your shorts, his voice feeling like silk in your ears. The part of you that so desperately wanted to fight back wasn’t even there anymore. You could only feel the bliss and relaxation of the moment, but you couldn’t understand why.
Your eyes opened again when you felt your shorts slowly sliding off of your body. You would’ve winced at the feelings of his sharp nails grazing your thighs, but you didn’t. It was like almost everything that you would react strongly to otherwise, you now didn’t mind at all.
Hence the reason for your drawn out moan when the creature slowly spread your thighs apart, looking in between your legs with lustful and hungry eyes.
You blinked when he stopped singing, and even after only a second had passed, you already missed the feeling of his voice in your ears. You watched in anticipation as he slowly trailed kisses up your thighs, sucking slightly and making you shiver with excitement.
”So beautiful,” you heard him say, but you felt as if you weren’t fully conscious anymore. It was the same feeling that you had right before you had woken up, when you could almost grasp everything that was going on, but not really.
You almost felt as if you were going to pass out before your breath caught in your throat, making you avert your attention towards the man in between your legs.
You moaned when you felt his long tongue exploring you, the softness and coolness of it foreign to you. It was almost overwhelming when his tongue entered your hole, making your head shoot up in chock.
He immediately took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers with his, making you gasp at the feelings of his webbed fingers and long nails against your human hands.
His tongue curled inside of you, exploring your insides as he lewdly slurped up your juices. You exhaled deeply when he retreated his tongue, your grip on his hand loosening, only to harden again when the long muscle found your clit.
You felt your legs unconsciously spreading wider for him, giving him more access to where he wanted to lick and suck. He licked a long stipe up your pussy before retreating his head with a satisfied sigh.
You looked at his parted lips, wet and plump, and felt your desperation grow. ”Please,” you whined out, slightly raising your hips towards his face.
He smiled in surprise, but obeyed your wish with a small hum. You almost cried out when you felt him against you once again, working quick and skillful patterns against you, like nothing you had ever experienced before.
You slowly felt your climax starting to build inside of you, your thighs starting to clench around his head, when you suddenly felt a realization hit you.
Who was he?
You looked down at his eyes - that were rolled back in bliss - and thought of his identity. You thought of how you ended up here, the scar on your thigh. How did you get that?
And suddenly, everything came back to you.
You immediately let go of his hand and crawled away from him as you realized the situation. You didn’t know him, and you never wanted any of this.
You saw the anger in his eyes as you backed into a wall, making yourself smaller by hugging your knees to your chest. But beyond that anger was also a strong worry. You saw the way his eyebrows furrowed as you backed away, and now, you saw the way he slowly made his way towards you.
”What are you doing to me?” you asked, your heartbeat pounding faster as you recalled everything that had happened, and the way you hadn’t even tried to stop any of it.
”Shhh,” you heard, but you just flinched when he tried to reach out for you with his hand. ”No,” he said, like a mother denying a child something.
You kept backing away, until you realized that you had nowhere to go. This small cave was only connected to the water, and with your current state, you probably couldn’t even swim a few feet.
You froze when you heard a sound in your ears again. It was that song again, the one you knew you had heard before, but couldn’t understand when or where. Your head snapped towards him as he looked at you with glowing eyes, his mouth open as he sang those beautiful notes.
It was such a strong pull, such a beautiful melody, that your body slowly seemed to give in to it once again. And although you realized that this was what kept you from denying his touches, from trying to escape, you were way too far gone to do anything about that.
You slowly let him pull you to the cave’s edge, his body submerging into the water. You watched as he spread your legs, your calved dangling off the edge and into the cold water.
This time, when he dove back in between your legs, he never stopped humming his song. You were reminded of how close you had gotten before he stopped, and felt your excitement build up quickly once more.
His hums sent vibrations up your body, making you grip his hair desperately. His nails slightly dug into your waist, making you moan as pain mixed with pleasure. You watched as his tail splashed into the water slightly, moving quicker the closer you got.
”Give in, human,” he said before continuing to flick your clit, making you throw your head back. And those words was what made you let go completely, and come undone in his arms.
You heard your own moans and his singing echo in the walls of the cave, and when he slowly pulled you up to lay down on the stone, you had long forgotten the worries in your mind.
Yunho and Hongjoong didn’t cross your mind - the fact that you were being emotionally manipulated by an unknown creature with beautiful fins and hypnotizing eyes didn’t bother you. Of course, that was no coincidence.
Seonghwa had to make sure he was the only thing on your mind when you finally fell asleep to his sweet lullaby once again. And when he slowly cradled you in his arms, tenderly brushing your hair out of your face, he knew he had to keep it that way forever.
masterlist
#ateez x reader#ateez#ateez fic#ateez smut#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#ateez imagines#yandere ateez#yandere seonghwa#yandere park seonghwa#tw yandere#yandere ateez x reader#ateez yandere#seonghwa x you#siren seonghwa#siren#park seonghwa x reader#seonghwa x y/n#yandere siren#siren x reader#seonghwa fanfic#park seonghwa smut#seonghwa ateez#seonghwa smut#ateez fanfiction
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Would you be willing to share more about this campaign playing into the weaknesses of Matt, Marisha, Laura, and Liam. I guess specifically, what are the main weaknesses youre seeing and how do you think the campaign exacerbated them?
If you’ve answered this already sorry!!!
In short:
Matt is extremely good at following his players' instincts and making the world feel like it is continuing to spin even when the characters aren't focusing on it. He is actually pretty bad at guessing what the players will do until quite late in the game (sorry man you should have realized the Augen Trust plot was dead from like, at the latest, episode 12, and it's WILD that you didn't anticipate Keyleth being on speed dial would be like, a factor) and at longform railroading (especially when that requires him to bypass the long digressions a character-focused arc), and he is VERY bad at saying no or bringing down the axe. It's always good to be a kind person, and it's frequently good to be a nice person in real life, but niceness in storytelling sucks ass. So he tried to run a very heavily plotted campaign without putting a heavy enough hand on the scale, failed to handle a very aimless party, and pulled pretty much every single punch.
Marisha tends to have pretty loose character concepts. This isn't bad, but it does mean that they need to be either very driven, or for the narrative to force them to be driven, for them to be interesting. Keyleth has her Aramente and her need to become a leader. Beau's mentorship from Dairon and her close relationships with the rest of the Mighty Nein and her general curiosity led her to get involved with all kinds of messes, even though the actual backstory of her plot was largely handled without her (again, another way to look at this is C1 and C2 played to these people's strengths). But she often has these gaps that feel like she stopped character development midway through. Laudna is obviously the most egregious (the ten years in the desert is honestly hilarious in how bad it is) but think about how Patia was so utterly defined by family position - and did a good job with that! the scene where she addresses her grandfather is a highlight! - but Marisha never once had even the barest outline of her parents designed. Like that's a pretty massive oversight for a character you describe as a Kennedy! Her whole deal is who her family is! And so by making a go with the flow character but also giving that character a horrible traumatic backstory that she was not, ultimately, really over, she made an incoherent mess.
Laura excels with quiet background development and a lot of room to play with character dynamics without necessarily being in the hot seat. She is, by her own admission, afraid of making the wrong decisions in the D&D game. This is not how D&D works. You make choices. If you fail to make choices it will be boring. Vex can choose to join Saundor or not, but neither of these is The Right Choice, it's just a choice you make that has (here is the word that much of the fandom is too stupid to understand) consequences, as all choices do. If she joins with him she gets a boon, but also a drawback. If she doesn't, he attacks her viciously both physically and emotionally. So anyway Imogen was put in a position of having to make a lot of decisions but without a real time pressure either, and Laura's hesitance to do this as a character positioned as The Chosen One meant that the entire story was just a slog of a bunch of idiots with no plan or philosophy other than the basest self-interest. Imogen's introversion and unwillingness to branch out especially early on is also true to the character but really goes against Laura's own strengths with the more outgoing and gregarious Vex and Jester (or even characters willing to say weird or mean shit like Arlo, the Matron, Sweetpea. and Bethany).
Liam is also at times too nice for his own good and won't go against his friends (Caleb in particular was a great example of the character concept canceling out Liam's weakest tendencies; just as Bells Hells in many case played to people's greatest weakness, though in Laura's case it was not her fault, the Nein played to many of their greatest strengths). To be clear: being a hostile asshole at the table is bad, but if you have clearly said for a hundred odd episodes that you won't let people go forward with this plan, then when they go forward with this plan, stand up and fight. If you have said that service to the Raven Queen and an acceptance of death is important, then frankly, your friend wishing their character had a happier ending is a valid thing to feel but you are not obligated to sacrifice your own meaningful ending to give them theirs. I don't know what happened behind the scenes there, but it certainly doesn't inspire faith.
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Just Friends…
Ace Trappola x Reader (Valentine’s Day Special)
Reader is gender neutral; referred to as Prefect, Y/N
Warnings: Angst, BUT HELLA COMFORT AND MUCH LOVE YES YES, HAPPY ENDING, sorry y’all, oh and spelling mistakes, as usual <3
Due to Ace getting his UM and because of his dream, I just felt like I had to write a little something for Valentine’s Day so my mind can rest and stop thinking abt it, like it’s consuming me so much
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/05253c13fd252a485b7ce4c16205812d/707ce0efc8063eb2-f7/s540x810/f4d226282aeef1391b3eb8e4e88b649dd6b19dae.jpg)
You had eyes on you all the time at NRC, gaining the love and trust of many a man, multiple suitors that were rich and could provide, men who were prominent figure heads and widely known across the world with the title of “world class famous,” or, “Next in line for throne,” “Prince,” men who mattered more than just another somebody like him. What can he offer? Friendship, sure, but it doesn’t go beyond that, does it? Ace wishes it did, wishes it will, but wishing can only give you false hope, and that false hope can only get you so far in a lifetime and feed your delusions until it can’t anymore, leaving you to accept the nasty truth.
Granted he shouldn’t feel this way, you and him are friends, nothing more, nothing less, and friends aren’t supposed to feel that way towards one another, it’s wrong, because you’re just friends. Yet, whenever he sees another trying to flirt with you, trying to take you, he can’t help but feel that bad taste of jealousy which he’s grown to know so well when being around you. He hates it, hates you, hates the others who want you, because he loves you.
So, all he can do is sit by your side and watch— watch as others try and sway you into their favor with these stupid little chocolates on this stupid little day. Why did everyone have to like you? He gets it, no, he does, you’re favored and sickeningly sweet, but he still hates it, but he wants you to be happy more importantly, so he’ll sit by, cheer you on, try and act like his usual self, and maybe forget he’s even felt any of this for you, push it all away and hide it, for yours and his sake.
Because again, you’re just friends, and he needs to accept soon that you two could never be more…after all, you’d end up leaving one day and never think of him again, huh?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Prefect! You have a lot of cards and boxes of chocolate it seems…” Deuce chuckles as he watches you walk in, scanning your desk to view all of the items about them.
Your seat has a reasonable amount of letters and chocolates piled up, all addressed to you of all people. Grim will have a field day.
Ace is in the seat next to yours like usual, but he rests his chin on the palm of his hand, a sour expression gracing his face.
“Mad you didn’t get any chocolates?” You smirk as you walk over to him, picking up one off he boxes from the place you sit and inspecting it with a critical eye, noticing it was a brand sold in town. You weren’t expecting chocolates, especially not this many.
“No…not yet, at least.” He huffs, side eyeing you in the process. “Didn’t know that many people liked you.” He sighs, his tone of voice more somber and sullen sounding, a contrast to how he usually is. It wasn’t what he was aiming for.
“Not yet?“ you hum. You take your seat and you open one of the letters. “I didn’t think this many liked me either. I thought I was hard to get along with…”
“Far from it…” he murmurs, you hardly catching what he said.
“What was that?”
“F-far from being hard to get along with because you are impossible to get along with.” He argues back quickly, the stutter not going unnoticed by you.
“Aw, thanks. But, I thought Valentine’s Day was where you were supposed to be nice to people, dickhead.” You make a small click with your tongue and you read over the letter.
It’s short and sweet, just a small thank you from a random student, them thanking you for being such a big help around NRC and helping their housewarden. At least someone thanked you finally…
Grim hums happily as he opens up a box and begins to eat the chocolate residing inside. There’s no use in reprimanding him because he’ll continue to do it, anyways.
“Be careful, Grimmy, eat too many and you could get sick.” You gently remind him as you open another letter, the contents basically saying the same thing as the last, short and sweet.
Ace continues to watch, his shoulders tensing even more and his brows furrowing in disdain, but when you glance over at him, he changes his look to a curious one, smirking and then poking fun at you for all the admirers you’ve gained, a ploy to hide his true pining after you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The day continued to go on, Ace becoming more and more out of his element with each passing moment. He could usually push it off, play it off just fine all the time, he had to, but today was the true test to see just how long he could keep pretending.
Riddle gave you a bouquet of roses, not romantically, he said, but Ace could tell Riddle meant it that way, a glimmer of adoration in his eyes as he watched you take them.
Leona just gave you money randomly, telling you to buy yourself something nice with it, a gift from him to you. Azul gave you a free meal pass to use at the lounge, and of course you already have the unlimited access to join him in the VIP lounge whenever you need a break.
Kalim gave you many luxury chocolates and jewelry, which Jamil said he strongly had him double down on everything he considered buying. Vil had your uniform altered and gave you skin care items, a gentle smile on his stupid face as he watched you take them from his hands, Ace noticing his gaze lingering longer than usual.
Idia gave you a gaming console for Ramshackle so you could have entertainment if you’d ever find the time to wind down. And Malleus, he gave you even more than Kalim, gold and jewels that fit your complexion, he didn’t really understand the holiday and got advice from Lilia, but Ace knew Malleus understood the implications behind it at least.
They’re just a bunch of show offs is all, he doesn’t even like you…yea, no he doesn’t. Just friends. They could give you so much better than he ever could, and that’s clear based on how he didn’t even get you anything for this special day.
But…here you are, lugging it all back, talking to him, and only him as he helps you, him being the person you asked to help you in the first place. Deuce and Grim were back at Heartslabyul, so it really was just you and him right now, and it didn’t help with his overthinking. It refueled his selfish desires that maybe, just maybe—
“Ace…open the door, please.” You pant as you make small grunts from the weight of the items in your arms, dragging the bags off stuff up the stairs.
“Of course, anything for you, huh…man, you’re just so spoiled anymore.” He shakes his head and opens the door.
“Thanks…and it’s not like I wanted all of this…it just came my way. Anyways, thanks for helping. You didn’t have to.” You sigh as you set the stuff down in the entry way.
“You asked me to, why should I deny that?” He mutters as he sets the other bags down next to yours.
“Dunno…you seemed out of it today…you miss your ex or something?” You smirk and you elbow him. Usually he took well to jokes…
“As if, I ghosted her for a reason, and why are you bringing that up? That was middle school, dumbass…” he sighs.
“I was just trying to be funny, sorry…” you back away and you flex your hands to stretch them out from gripping the bags so tight.
“Yea, yea…whatever. Is that it? I gotta study so—“
“Actually…can you stay a bit longer? I actually needed some help with baking…”
“Why not just ask Trey…he’s better at it—“
“Ace…that’s not the point here. Come help me.” You smile your usual gentle and sweet smile that could cause anyone to fold, or maybe it was just him thinking that. It was sad for him to be acting like this, at least to him.
He reluctantly follows you into the kitchen and you pull out the materials to bake a cherry pie.
“It’s your favorite, right?” You hum thoughtfully as you go to wash off the cherries.
“I’m surprised you remembered.” He murmurs.
“Of course I would. What type of person would I be if I forgot one of my closest friend’s favorite food? I’d be an asshole, that’s what.” You chuckle.
Right, just friends. Any hope he had was dwindling away ever so slowly…
“Can you make the pie crust? I’ll work on the filling, or vice versa, pick your poison.” You chuckle.
“I’ll do the pie crust.” And he does with little complaint. You two work together to make a…well, sort of presentable pie.
It’s quite while you two work away at each needed ingredient, putting it into the oven sooner than later. Hey, at least it tastes good! The appearance of it didn’t really matter.
“I think we outdid ourselves.” You chortle as you cover your mouth while chewing.
“Eh, it’s ugly.” He shrugs.
“Don’t say that. It tastes pretty good, so, I’m not complaining here.” You shake your head.
“You’re so weird.” He sticks his tongue out at you.
“Heyyyy, be nice— oh, actually, wait here a moment, I have to get something real quick.” You scoot back in your chair and you get up, leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs to your room to grab something.
A few minutes pass by and Ace waits alone impatiently at the table. He drags his fork around the plate, moving the extra bits of crust from the pie and toying with his food as he waists for you to return.
“Ace! Can you actually come here for a second! I need help!” You yell from upstairs. He quirks an eyebrow and he stands up himself, following the sound of your voice.
He enters your room and sees nothing, tilting his head out of confusing, but you tap him on the shoulder from behind, earning a small flinch from him. You keep your other hand holding something behind your back.
“Hey…”
“What’re you doing…” he suspiciously narrows his eyes at you and he turns to face you.
“Shhh, just give me a moment will you? I’m actually nervous now…” you clear your throat. “Look. I don’t wanna sound like a huge sap or anything, and I also wish I had more to show for my appreciation I feel towards you, but alas, I’m broke, so, there’s that factor, too.” You pull out a small box from behind you.
“For you. From me to you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Ace…”
He stares at the box in shock, disbelief, just utterly and completely confused.
“I…why?” Is all he can manage to murmur out.
“I thought it was obvious, but it’s cause I like you, you big dummy, big big dummy.” You sigh, urging him to take the box with a small shimmy of your hand.
“They’re homemade, Trey helped me so—“
“Why…”
“Huh…why what?” You tilt your head incredulously.
“Why like me…” he sighs out, sounding pathetically weak.
“Why should I like you? Does that really matter…” you murmur back.
“No offense, Prefect, you got all those other gifts from the other guys and…I don’t…I’m not following here, I thought you liked one of them. You know, Malleus is a pretty cool guy, rich—”
“But I don’t.” You take his hand and you put the box of chocolates in them. “I like you…”
“Why…” he sighs again, his hand trembling under yours. This moment didn’t feel real to him, far from it. He couldn’t come to terms that you liked him.
“If you want me to sound like Rook, I can…I like you because you’ve been here for me since day one of being plopped into this unfamiliar and unforgiving world, you’ve stuck by my side and never questioned really why I was here or my origins, instead defending me from others and always looking out for me. All you did was that and I…fear I fell harder than I thought…I mean, I get it if you don’t like me back—“
Without a second thought he moves to hug you, clinging to your form desperately as he uses you as a way to ground himself to the moment, to really gauge if it’s real. You hug him back and you let him lean against you.
“You ok?”
“I like you, too, no…I’d go as far as saying I love you. Can I say that yet?” He murmurs out with a shaky voice.
“Of course you can…I love you, too.”
“I love you, more…” he sighs, pulling away to look you in the eyes. “You’re so stupid.”
“No way…not me.” You smile. He smiles right back with a lovesick look and he inches his face closer to yours, practically crashing his lips against yours.
You smile against his lips and as you pull away, you both chuckle and hug each other tight again.
“Mmm, better not ghost me like you did your Ex…” you tighten your grip around him.
“Seriously? Don’t bring her up, she’s the past…plus, I couldn’t do that easily to you, anyways…so…we’re not just friends anymore, right?” He sighs out.
“Far from it now, Acey…we’re more.”
You two stay like that for a moment, staying glued to each other as you both finally come to the realization that this moment is, in fact, real, and that you two won’t have to hide your feelings anymore.
Done, done, and done. Sorry this one was shorter, but I did like writing it, not my favorite tho…rereading it I’m like “ehhhhh wtf was I on,” Also don’t rlly ask what I was going for towards the end cause idek myself, dont ask questions to what I have no answers to <3
Requests are open for Valentine’s Day!
Master List
Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!
Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst#twst ace#ace trappola#ace trapolla x reader#hurt/comfort#valentines day#twst deuce#deuce spade#grim twst#letters#chocolate#comfort#pining#Y’ALL I LOVE ACE TRAPPOLA HES SO BABY 😭#happy ending#kisses#<3
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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You know what has always seemed funny to me is that Mello has some kind of relation with fire (the explosion and then the fire in his death), and at the same time, his real name is the same one of the arcangel known for having a flaming sword (even tho never stated in the bible but he's represented with one in almost everywhere for interesting reasons but no one gives a shit about that)
which i totally think is a stretch of my part because based on platinum end, ohba's vision of religion is almost the equivalent to the opinion of a 15 yo edgy incel that likes reddit too much
but still funny to me. it's also funny considering the name literally means "who is like god?" because, technically speaking, michael will never be like god, he's the protector and fighter. his name is almost the statement "no one will be like god" which I think is funny considering that the one who tried to be like god was cast out to hell, like u know, the good-looking angel that in some depictions is actually a very manipulative entity that convinces some angels to get into his side and fight with him and was defeated by this said arcangel
that's very funny to me
#i could go on and go about this but yeah no. i do like a lot the meaning of his name and what represents#the atheism in platinum is so bad it almost made me go catholic again. it's a reddit atheism (“god is like santa claus”)#i really really like all the meanings and how you can play with mello's real name if you try hard enough and aim for the stars#near's too. if you do the same. and i WILL. putting the catholic knowledge in action.#alsoo it's so funny to me that in paradise lost (not bible canon but still very VERY really known) Michael is a lil bitch.#he's the one who casts adam and eve out of eden and he's like “MAYBE if SOMEONE hadn't eaten the FRUIT” which I think is very mello coded#he's like sad for them like two seconds and then he's like “lmao this happened because u're stupid” and points and laugh#technically not that but shush. he is still like “dude. adam. it's fine u can make ur life out of here..stop crying lmao”#it's like dante in the divine comedy when he's sad for people at first and then in like the third circle he's like “hahaha stupid”#“you're suffering? GOOD. this is what you get for being GAY. i dont give a shit your suffering. do you know what's happening in Florence?”#satan in paradise lost to the other angels is like “aren't you tired of being nice? don't you wanna go apeshit?”#“the other day saw god drinking the last of the milk and putting the carton back in the fridge :/ idk man doesn't sound too heavenly to me"
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truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation
#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think#<- very important that people like him just as much as i do#<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for#and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about)#truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to#come out of the screen and hurt you#I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears*#and i need validation#and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments#what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right?#ugh#i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes#don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh#hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck#its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit#and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too#anyways#im normal again now#toxi.txt
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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my ‘thank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lot’ grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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it's been a strange arc so far
when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'
when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'
the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'
#red said#this is about one specific relationship btw.#wanted to clarify that because there have been several men over 30 who fucked me up between the ages of 16 and 21#and i adamently do NOT want to keep pretending that was incompetence. that was predation. sometimes incompetent predation.#but with the person I'm thinking of? she really hurt me and the age gap and difference in life stage was a not insubstantial factor#but mostly she was just spiralling out really badly and i offered her something to hold and she did try to keep things balanced and safe#but she was very off balance at the time. so the fucking up was more that than it was about power or control#we were just both very stupid and very sensible at the same time which is a great way to dig yourselves deeper#and idk I'm like 2 or 3? years younger than she was when we met iirc#and the closer i get to her age the more I'm like yeah you know that's a human reaction. i can see how that happens.#and i kind of feel bad for the amount of bitterness I've held and malice I've ascribed because ultimately#i think it was just two people having different crises trying and failing to figure out boundaries around them#but this has come on really suddenly and it's kind of fucking me up as well#cause I'm frightened of falling back into patterns of oh it's never anyone else's fault that i got hurt#but i don't. thiiiiink so? bc it's really only this one thing. i am not making these excuses for other people.#idk. sometimes people just fuck each other up.#I'm not even sure i think it was a bad thing that it happened. a lot of bad happened but we also catalyzed a lot of change in each other.#i feel like the reason i keep picking at this is that it's complicated. it was not good. it was good.#she really fucked me up and she was a terrible friend to me at times. but she was also the first person to really look after me.#and she kind of helped me start to learn how to need other people. which was good.#when my grandma died she wrapped me in a blanket and cancelled her plans to watch TV on the couch with me#even though she barely knew me at that point#and she was one of the first people to consistently ask for consent and check in. and she did genuinely care about me.#but she also truly fucked me over a couple of times.#but mostly that was just because she was buried in a pit of despair and self loathing.#she seems a lot happier now. i hope she is. i don't know if i want to know her particularly but i think if she's happy she'd be nice to know
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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(*・ω・*)b♪
#I'm a bit late but :)#Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol#I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime.#I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc#I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga.#But even then it's just...#Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage#It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless.#I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!!#For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate.#Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him.#And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally!#Do people irl never act irrationally?”#And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand.#But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read?#That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second–#so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol.#On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL.#The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭#I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies#(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.)#Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place#And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is–#blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but...#Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because–#a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay#Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao)#But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty.#random rambles
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~ ~ ~
#today I am sad about something that I know objectively is dumb#my 30th birthday is next week and the party will be next Saturday and I’m having a dinner at a nice restaurant in town#I wasn’t supposed to make it to 30 and never thought I would but now somehow I have and so this birthday is like…#a really huge deal to me you know#and I always wanted to be able to have a big party to celebrate this specific occasion and in my head I pictured all my friends/family there#I figured this would be one of the biggest parties I’d ever get to throw because to me this is the biggest milestone I’ve gotten to so far#but out of all the people I’ve invited the most that will probably reasonably show is about 10#and even that’s a bit iffy because tbh I’m pretty sure my bestie will flake on me like he always does#and if he doesn’t show up that might just end the friendship but that’s another matter entirely#also iffy because I haven’t gotten a lot of responses still even though I made the event and sent invites two weeks ago#I just… thought I had more friends than that if that makes sense#like I had bigger parties with more people attending in high school and I barely had any friends then#I’ve thrown low key Halloween parties in my mom’s apartment that had more people show up#now I’m at the most important moment of my life (so far) and I’ll barely have anyone with me#lately it just feels like less and less people care about me for real despite how many I know around work or how many are on my Facebook#it feels like my world keeps shrinking and I really don’t want that because it’s been small enough as it is#I just feel like I’m never really going to find my place or have big groups of friends like everyone else#I’m never going to have a group of friends or people I can rely on to spend time with me when needed#as it is planning things gets harder the older we get anyway just due to needing to tend to adult life#guess I still just want what everyone else has and I don’t know why I can’t have those things#and I know it’s stupid and selfish and whiny but I really want to cry because I’m so depressed that I have barely anyone in my life at all#barely anyone to celebrate something so important to me and so few who even seem to care at all either#I’m grateful for everyone I do have honestly#but that doesn’t offset this weird pain in my chest over this whole situation#maybe I should just curl up and cry until this all passes and I can go back to pretending it doesn’t matter#personal
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My stomach sounds like some manner of beast right now, just kind of "mhhhrmmhhbbhh"ing, like some sort of creature snuffling and grumbling
#it may in fact shock you that a single potato did not in fact fill me up#but that's what was on offer tonight#and... and between there not being a lot that I'm up to scavenging in the first place and my stomach not making me feel great...#kinda makes it hard to feel like trying to track down something to eat#what I wouldn't give to have like... a dozen big hamburgers and a spinach or romaine type salad#doubt I could eat it; but it's what I'm feeling like might actually get me out of food deficit if I did manage to eat it all#I don't want sweets; I want food; but my mom loves using her money to pick up sweets and it's like...#a couple really nice quality burgers... even... 2... maybe 4 if we're honest; that's what I'd love#maybe a classic style; a bbq one; something with some spicy peppers on it; and then... surprise me with the last one; just no tomatoes#(and only good quality lettuce; you can put it on there but only if it isn't iceburg)#if only if only if only... if only I had a fuck ton of money or if only I had the skills to make that for myself#man I could go for some food right now... just a burger; that's what I'm really craving#like I said; that sausage patty earlier just made me hungrier so I feel like I need meat#and I fucking know all those SEO articles always say there's no way you need more protein in fact you're getting too much#but I just... I want just a massive amount of meat; a mountain of it... or fuck; don't care; you get me whatever it is in it that I'm wanti#and you put it in a vegan form I don't care... I just want whatever it is I'm wanting; and it's taking the form of burgers#Just like... if I had like 50 burgers in the fridge and I could heat one up any time I was hungry#I might actually be full for once after like a week (and maybe out of burgers)#I know I'm better off than most people; I know I'd be fine if I just wasn't so stupid and lazy#but I'm so fucking hungry and have been all my life#a decent meal that comes around more than once a month (that it's rare it comes around that often)#what an amazing idea; you know?#that month where I'd bought that like month of $1 big burger coupons for smashburger... that was maybe the one time I was almost full#only meal of the day most of the days... but fuck... one big burger every day is at least something
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feels fucking great when people do something without you. especially something you have been wanting to do for over a YEAR but its so fucking hard to get a full team of people for this because yeah i get it its one of the hardest achievements in the game but then they just fucking do it on a whim out of nowhere with some new guys like. i have. been wanting to do this. for more than a Year. and no one. was ever. down.
#river.txt#thx a lot#now i have to look at all of them having that stupid fucking title while im just here like#hi#btw i wanted to do this#for so long#thx for promising we would do this together one day and then u just went and did it with some random ass new people :)#yeah i feel great i feel fine why do you ask#guess i can say goodbye to that fucking title#because its IMPOSSIBLE just to get people for a normal raid#much less a flawless run#so i already know i wont ever get this done now that they all got it done#the thing is ppl always post an event on the server so others can sign up right#well they didnt even make an event for this lol i have no idea when did they do it#when i noticed the titles i was like wait what how come u all have it#and my friend was like oh we got it done the other day#like. cool. nice. thanks again.
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Lemme tell you a gay little story about an eagle.
Our town (~9,000 people) has a couple garages, but there's a big one on the main drag. My family has been going there for decades. I drive past it every day.
There used to be a huge pine tree on the corner of their lot, but last year it became a hazard and had to be taken down.
Shortly thereafter I drive by and see they've hired a guy to chainsaw sculpt the stump into a bald eagle.
Birds own my heart, but nationalism makes me twitchy. I withhold outright condemnation of the eagle, but I'm skeptical. (The original owner—an objectively Good Dude—sold the business to a younger couple a few years ago, and I don't have any knowledge of their whole deal.)
Then it turns out someone on staff is really into making costumes for the eagle. Every holiday. Every month. Stuffed turkey, witch costume, menorah headpiece, bunny ears. These people love to dress their bird.
The changing of the eagle suit becomes a source of joy every time I drive through town.
Until June, when the eagle is bare.
Now look, maybe I'm expecting too much asking my garage to celebrate Pride. But this is a small town. Every time I drive by that stupid eagle—this thing that has previously brought me so much joy—I feel hurt. I feel reminded that there are plenty of people in my liberal bubble who don't consider my community worthy of celebration. I drive to work, I feel bad. I drive home, I feel bad. The eagle is mocking me.
Then my A/C quits working.
So I book an appointent to bring my car in—and realize what I have to do.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f5d5a4b027eabe0a636c122b85aa8f4b/05d22e467bf52156-14/s540x810/abe0b029561e5600e66fd67deba08de4207ee2fb.jpg)
I pick all this up at a thrift store for under ten bucks. I print the shirt with some weird heat-transfer fabric crayons I find in a cupboard. I loop gold elastic around the sunglasses and pray they'll fit on the eagle's head. (It is also important to draw your attention to the price of the feather boa.)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/251ae395a0349138b06ac18aa721b2ba/05d22e467bf52156-61/s540x810/3faa6be249a47bce4ddea4cd503f8f130440fe17.jpg)
(Nice.)
My reasoning is thus: if I show up with a complete costume ready to go, someone will have to look me in the eye and say "We don't believe in that," at which point I'll be finding a new garage. But if they let me dress the eagle, then people in town get to have the joy I've been missing since the start of the month.
I listen to a lot of hype-up jams on my way over. I hate confrontation. I also don't wanna have to find another garage. I want to believe that this decision isn't actively antagonistic, but I'm not particularly hopeful.
I talk through the A/C issue with the guy at the desk, hand over my keys, then take a deep breath.
"Who's in charge of the eagle?"
"Oh, that's all Dylan. Second bay from the end."
I walk down the row of hydraulic lifts and find a disarmingly smiley middle-aged man pouring fluid through a funnel. I introduce myself and explain that, since the Pride parade is this Sunday and the eagle seems to be missing a costume, I have taken the liberty of making one myself, and can I get his blessing to go put it on?
Dylan grins this absolutely giant grin and goes
"Oh hell yeah."
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a2bfaac9a744873ac6168f63857de0d0/05d22e467bf52156-45/s540x810/f504d30f0d58c547fc56ba2dee0092639b76b4a1.jpg)
So that's what's up now.
Happy Pride.
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The Motherfucking Lizard King
No one at work trusts my boss.
He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town.
Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse?
I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed.
He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now.
So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it.
---
My job has glue traps.
No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life.
If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just
You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you.
People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out.
I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me.
I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps.
And just because of that, they're willing to follow me.
---
My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.
People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was:
Do NOT mess with animals in the building.
So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences.
I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop.
Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve.
And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went
I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover.
So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell.
So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair.
I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.
I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.
A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right?
And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes.
And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said
Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil?
I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question.
Who grabbed the snake? I asked.
Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right.
ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No.
---
The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago.
We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again.
You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think.
But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be.
That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.
---
The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.
Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read
"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."
I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.
How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.
You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.
I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.
Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.
---
The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.
We'll see if he squanders it.
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stupid appendix | oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
summary; oscar piastri biggest fan (his girlfriend) goes crazy when he wins his first grand prix, and she isn’t there to see it.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5e41b495a1bcf97c48338879ce30f7eb/b219382819cf4b01-8b/s540x810/dcebee7a919f995387ce8f6ae936deb6cb265916.jpg)
liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 761,305 others!
yourusername: it’s race week again, except i’m praying oscar doesn’t win because i’m getting my appendix taken out and if he wins, and im not there, i will go fucking ballistic. 
view comments below!
oscarpiastri: wow, thanks for all the support! 🥰
yourusername: i love you with my whole heart octopus, but if you win and im not there? i will never forgive you.
oscarpiastri: and what am i supposed to do if i start leading?
yourusername: stop, and let everyone pass you!
oscarpiastri: so i won’t be doing that! lovely conversation 👊
yourusername: YOU NEVER LOVED ME
user1: why’d she just call oscar octopus?
yourusername; that’s his name?
user1: no..his name is oscar?
yourusername; he was born octopus jack piastri, but got bullied a lot, so he changed his name to oscar when he was 16 😓
user1: really?
yourusername: yeah, and i would know!
user1: ig…LOL who names their kid octopus?
yourusername: RIGHT??
oscarpiastri: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I CHANGED MY NAME. MY NAME WAS NOT OCTOPUS.
user1: oh…well now i’m embarrassed
user2: don’t be, she’s done this to at least 30 fans now
maxverstappen1: don’t worry, i’ll make sure he doesn’t win 😏
yourusername: thank you max! you’re my only REAL friend <3
landonorris: excuse me?
yourusername; tell me lando, would you throw oscar into the grandstands to prevent him from winning this race?
landonorris: no?
yourusername: FAKE
landonorris: okay, you know what, it’s not MY fault that you decided to take your appendix out THAT DAY.
yourusername: I DIDNT DECIDE IT. IT WAS FORCED UPON ME.
landonorris: RESCHEDULE THE SURGERY FOR THE NEXT DAY! 
yourusername: wait.
oscarpiastri: NO. you will be having that surgery on sunday. and you will not being rescheduling.
yourusername: I HATE YOU OCTOPUS
oscarpiastri: you can hate me all you want, you’re still getting that surgery.
user3: on one hand i want oscar to win, on the other i dont think yn will recover if she isn’t there to witness it
charles_leclerc: i would try to stop him from winning but i don’t think i have a fast enough car for that
yourusername: it’s okay charles! i’m sure ferrari will bounce back in no time :)
charles_lelcerc: really?
yourusername; no…
charles_leclerc: nice talk! :(
user4: when you want to comfort your friend but you can’t lie for shit
user5: normally i pray that oscar will win a race, but today, ill do the opposite, just for you yn 💕
yourusername: thank you!!
user6: she is dead serious. she honestly doesn’t want oscar to win.
yourusername: i’ve never been so serious in my LIFE.
user7: no i get it, imagine going to every single on of your bfs races and the ONE time you don’t go he wins???
user8: i’d start to believe i’m back luck
carlossainz55: imagine having to get your appendix out 🤣🫵
yourusername: right? that’s so embarrassing 🤣
user9: you two are the LAST people too be talking
user10: oscar piastri does NOT win the hungary gp 🕯️ oscar piastri does NOT win the hungary gp 🕯️oscar piastri does NOT win the hungary gp 🕯️oscar piastri does NOT win the hungary 🕯️
user11: AMEN
user12: LOUDER
user13: preach!
oscarpiastri: @/yourusername, you see what you’ve done?
yourusername: beautiful work guys! oscar piastri does NOT win the hungary gp 🕯️
oscarpiastri: 😐
— race day!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d7822adf8518f5e91b728c243c06ab85/b219382819cf4b01-f9/s1280x1920/96d6bd5a4c965a3be4037cdb6267b3c281b14bd9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/77f5f97d0cc1af5994071bb110a5180f/b219382819cf4b01-e1/s1280x1920/0e3fd309dcdab9a9bd81a4b7a85391b10b006efc.jpg)
— post race interview!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a786011a9cee46f397845f868d4c943d/b219382819cf4b01-43/s540x810/3ac0df2f7d548465d560ec5524af49444338e433.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/eea13d1812d712054b9acac9fbe009b6/b219382819cf4b01-f9/s540x810/6ae1c8b4c719bbc80c7389aed48b81c38e062249.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/594f29bb319e0112b7e3672c82d7caef/b219382819cf4b01-7b/s540x810/f7b33c21afd7399b916b455cdcca73a8b99b3a64.jpg)
. . .
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a1462c085fb5851b1577c43b596079bd/b219382819cf4b01-d8/s540x810/c82e91af54f5e03f96674ddd04ef542d53c25c10.jpg)
liked by mclaren, lewishamilton, landonorris, and 719,014 others!
oscarpiastri: first grand prix win. incredible 🧡
view comments below!
carlossainz55: congrats oscar 👍
estebanocon: great job mate, first of many 👏
user14: oh i’m crying
user15: omg i am too, the tears just won’t stop
user16: first it was him winning, then it was him apologizing for winning, and now it’s yn not being there for him 💔
landonorris: congrats bro!
user17: OH OSCAR PIASTRI, OH OSCAR PIASTRI, OH OSCAR PIASTRI
user18: waiting for yn to wake up and raise hell
user19: she’s going to wake up from anesthesia and this is going to be the first thing she sees 
yourusername: what was the one thing i asked you not to do?
oscarpiastri: baby you just woke up, stop making your mom write for you, and rest
yourusername: ONE THING OSCAR. I ASKED FOR ONE THING.
oscarpiastri: stop making your mom write for you, she probably feels very uncomfortable right now
yourusername: i do - the mom
yorusername: STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT OSCAR JACK PIASTRI. YOU ARE SOOO NOT INVITES TO MY OSCAR FIRST WIN PARTY
user20: i know that anesthesia is hitting real hard 
user21: i want to go to oscar’s first win party
yourusername: @/maxverstappen1 AND YOU. I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM WIN
maxverstappen1: i’m sorry yn. i have failed you.
yourusername: …its okay max, you’ll get him next time
maxverstappen1: thank you yn ❤️
oscarpiastri: WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON??
yourusername: NOT YOURS.
yourusername: stupid appendix.
carlossainz55: me and my homies all hate our appendix’s
user22: you don’t have one?
carlossainz55: 😐
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/981651cf75a52ffd71005150346d21aa/b219382819cf4b01-fc/s540x810/fff4b799df605ed13480112d44db8f630192eb36.jpg)
liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, 691,047 others!
yourusername: absolutely gutted to have not been there for his first win, nonetheless OCTOPUS JACK PIASTRI IS A FUCKING RACE WINNER
view comments below!
oscarpiastri: you will see me win in person love, i know it 🧡
yourusername: i love you octopus
oscarpiastri: i love you more
user22: he’s not fighting the octopus?? softie
user23: maybe she’s dying and wants her too be happy in her last moments… OMG YN ARE YOU DYING???
yourusername: NO??? i’m perfectly fine, the surgery went perfect!
user23: oh, then yeah he’s a softie
user24: worst maiden win ever
user25: SPEAK ON IT
user26: it would’ve been so much better if yn was there :(
charles_leclerc: glad your surgery went well yn!!
yourusername: thank you charles 👊 congrats on p4, your getting up there!!
charles_leclerc; thankfully! i could not handle any other bad week in the car 😞
user27: none of us could charles. none of us could.
maxverstappen1: can i congratulate oscar now?
yourusername: i guess 😒
maxverstappen1: YAY OSCAR 🥳🥳
user28: why is he acting like he wasn’t one of the first to congratulate him in person?
maxverstappen1: SHHHH YN DOESNT KNOW THAT
user29: “her health comes first.” oscar jack piastri you SOFTIE
user28: i desperately need a video of yn waking up from surgery and finding out oscar won.
oscarpiastri: i have one, there was lots of cussing, snot, and tears
yourusername; SHUT UP OCTOPUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT
user29: SHE HAS BEEN THERE FOR ALL HIS BIG WINS, AND THE ONE TIME—THE ONE TIME HE WINS IN FORUMLA FUCKING ONE. SHE ISNT THERE. GOD I CANT TAKE TJIS
yourusername: see, you get it 😞
. . .
notes; my post on oscar’s win!!! super super super proud of him <33
#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#f1 x female reader#f1 social media au#f1#oscar piastri x reader
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