#you ever seen somebody ruin they own life?

[agent-44mc]

i relate to hamilton because i too write like i'm running out of time. like i need it to survive.

(i haven't written in a week)

[reidmania]

sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter three, full machine)

‘I'm a forest fire, you're the kerosene. I had a life here before you, but now it's burnin'. I know I know better and you're ignorin' me, still, if you asked me to run away, i'd go easily’

summary; you know you have a bad history with relationships, so to try not to get in your own head when you stop hearing from spencer.

warnings; fem reader, mentions of bad relationships, ghosting, commitment issues, self doubt & overthinking, preettyy angsty idk guys, no comfort yet but there is some fluff, and theres penelope & reader friendship!! reader lowkey shit talks spencer but he deserves it. reader is embarrassed & upset.

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules

2.1k words.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since you had last seen Spencer. You understood the demands of his job, that it kept him busy and a lot of the time you were fine with that — you enjoyed your space and your own personal time. You had never had an issue with him being gone on cases before but he would always text you or call you when he got the chance.

And never had he been on a case for two weeks. Not that you knew of anyways.

It was difficult not to jump to conclusions and ruin the idea of him you had. It was difficult not to shut down. It was difficult to not think ‘how could you be so stupid’ and you were trying really really hard to not repeat past mistakes and project past relationships onto this one.

But it wasn’t even a relationship.

It wasn’t like he had talked to you at all. The first two days after he left for his case he had sent you numerous texts, telling you how sorry he was for having to leave early, he called you on the first night and stayed on the phone until you had fallen asleep. Everything was normal. There was nothing that set off any warning bells in your head.

That made you feel even worse.

You hadn’t spammed him with texts, nor calls. You hadn’t messaged him since the last text you sent was left on delivered. You wouldn’t beg for him to reply to you, you wouldn’t beg for an explanation on what you might’ve done wrong. You’d rather live with the lack of closure than further damage to your pride.

But then there was a part of you that wondered if maybe something happened to him, a big part of you worried that something happened to him — actually. You tried to ignore the lingering dwindle of anxiety in your stomach as you carried on with your day to day life. You tried so hard to ignore it.

But two weeks was a long time to ignore an aching gut feeling, one that kept you up at night and never seemed to go away.

Could you have called Spencer? Yes. You could’ve. But did you want to risk the call being ignored and every lingering doubt in your mind being proven correct and then be embarrassed about it? God no.

You were a shame spiral when you instead texted Penelope, who had given you her number when she saw you and Spencer at the grocery store, the last time you had seen him. She begged you to reach out when she got back so you two could arrange to hang out.

You weren’t even sure if they were back. Normally you would know that by Spencer coming over to your house at some ridiculous time and delving into your arms like it was the only place he had ever been able to call home, but he didn’t come over this time.

It was a simple text, ‘Hey Penelope, how are you? I haven’t heard from Spencer in a while so i just wanted to make sure he was okay’

It was good enough. You didn’t want to explain how you just wanted to make sure he was alive so you didn’t feel guilty for hating him. You didn’t exactly want to hate somebody who was dead. Yet a twisted part of you hoped that something had happened to him, because at least then he wasn’t just ignoring you.

What you weren’t expecting was your phone to light up with an incoming call from the one and only Penelope Garcia. You answered it, partly scared that she was calling because texting you to tell you that Spencer was dead seemed insensitive.

“Hello?” You answered. The place in your bed warm from the weight of your body as you shuffled slightly. It wasn’t exactly late, but it was past evening times. You heard mumbling and shuffling on the other side of the phone, before a happy voice.

“Hello my sweet angel!” Penelope greeted you, even in your doubtful mood the warm greeting from the sweet women made a smile line your lips. “I got your message — I’m a little confused. He is fine, he just left work” She answered.

Okay. Not dead.

“Oh” It passed through your lips because now you were just overwhelming confused. “Uh- How long have you guys been back?” You asked, almost afraid of the answer you would receive. You were hoping she would tell you they had only just gotten back, and that the case had been so busy that nobody had time to text anybody.

“A little over a week.” She answered. That made your chest tighten, a lot. Almost painfully. You didn’t want to cry, you didn’t want to give the situation the satisfaction of your tears. You didn’t want to give Spencer any more power over you.

“Right. Okay. Thanks.” It came out shakier than you intended it to be and a wave of embarrassment washed over you. You took pride in your ability to not care about things like this, you didn’t get emotionally involved because of this reason. Your mind was overwhelmed with an abundance of doubts and self depreciation. Embarrassment. You were so embarrassedz

“Did Spencer not tell you? He has been stroppy all week. We thought maybe he had messed up and you were mad at him.” The words came out as a playful joke, but you found it humourless. Because although you weren’t mad at him, you were now.

You wondered if you even had a right to be mad. Clearly he wasn’t dead, so he was just ignoring you. You hated how much that thought made your heart hurt an overwhelming amount. You hated how you had now let someone in enough for their absence to have an effect on you.

“He.. No. He hasn’t told me” You mumbled out, your voice representing how distant your mind was from this conversation. A million different thoughts and each one as bad as the last. You didn’t want to tell his co-worker and one of his friends that he had just up and ghosted you, you didn’t think it was fair, but you could basically hear the confusion and concern lacing her voice. “He hasn’t talked to me at all in over a week..”

“What?” Her response came out hard and fast, tone laced with clear shock and confusion. “Thats- I mean it was a rough case but.. not.. that rough — Maybe he is just overwhelmed? Have you tried calling him? He can get distracted easily.” She rambled, trying just as hard as you were to find a valid explanation for his sudden disappearance.

But you both knew Spencer. Or you thought you did. You knew enough to know about his memory. He didn’t just forget. Or maybe he did. Were you forgettable for him? Were you something so minority important that it slipped through the tight grasp of his memory. Oh that wasn’t a fun thought.

“No- uhm.. I’m not going to call him.. If he wants to talk to me he would.” You muttered. You wanted to believe that, you wanted to not care as much as you were making it out to seem you didn’t. You wanted to feel casually about it. About him.

You really regretted kissing him two months ago.

You wished you could be the type of person who believed that was no point dwelling, the type of person who would be grateful it happened rather than sad it was over — but you just weren’t. You didn’t think you were capable of getting over someone unless you hated them with every fibre of your being. Unless they hurt you to the point of no forgiveness. You couldn’t be glad it happened — not when it ended like this.

It always ended like this, you knew that from the start.

“Im so sorry. I have no idea whats going on with him!” She apologised in his behalf and it was almost funny to you. How come a girl you met once seemed to have more remorse than the guy you had (stupidly) falling in love with.

You shook your head, but she couldn’t see you. “Don’t apologise. Its fine. Its not a big deal really. We weren’t much of anything anyways.” Maybe the words came out fast enough for you to believe them, maybe they were to try and convince yourself that it was true — that it was how you felt.

It seemed it was how he felt.

“Oh sweetheart” Penelope synthesised. “How about this — We can have a massive movie night at mine sometime over the weekend and if you haven’t heard from him by then, then we can talk about how bad his eyesight is and the amount of sugar he puts in his coffee” She mumbled.

You let out a laugh, you wished that his bad eyesight and way too much sugar was the worst you could say about him right now. Your opinions on the boy seemed a lot stronger. Although it made your heart ache that it was his friend apologising and making you feel better.

“I’d like that.” You said, pulling your knees closer to your chest as your curled in on yourself in your bed. You hated how cold and empty it felt without his presence by your side. Even with the same glow of your fairy lights, the room was lit with the same warmth when it was just you.

You were mad. If you could only use one emotion to describe how you felt it would be mad. Embarrassment, disappointment, hurt — they’d all be thrown out the window. You were just so mad.

At him, for making you believe that maybe things would be different, for letting you get close to him, allowing you to trust him, open up to him. You were mad at him for giving and taking like it was some sort of game. You were mad at his lack of communication. You were mad at how he once looked at you like you held so much value only to leave as if you were worthless.

But you were more mad at yourself. You had made it a rule not to date. You had a life, a good happy life before. You busied yourself with work and going to the library to read and get a moment of peace beneath the shelves of books, you enjoyed getting your coffee’s from the small cafe on the corner in the morning, and dancing with your small group of friends at the club on the weekends, and then Spencer came along and now all those things you enjoyed so much seemed dimmer without knowing you’d see him at the end of the day.

You were frustrated because you knew better than to let someone get close to you. You knew how codependent you became on the existence of another by your side. You knew this. You knew all of this. You knew you were cursed, unloveable if you really wanted to hurt your own feelings. You knew this.

Yet you let yourself get sucked into his sweet words and empty promises, his soft touch and warm embrace. You let yourself believe that things might be different this time.

And god were you mad about that.

But most of all, you were mad about the fact that despite all of this. All of the doubt and anger swirling through your veins and leaving every harsh breath that existed your lips, you didn’t hate him. You were mad at him — so mad, but there wasn’t a single part of you that would ever say you hated Spencer Reid.

Not optionally. If it was up to you, you would go back in time and you wouldn’t have let him get close enough for the line to be between love and hate.

You worried, still. About if he was okay, what he was doing. You hated that. You hated that he had made you soft.

You hated that you let him make you soft.

You hated that you still wanted him to reach out to you, apologise and say he had just been so busy, or say he just needed time after the case. You hated that if he showed up on your door step right now you’d probably let him in without a word — whereas if this was prior to six months ago you would’ve slammed the door in his face and told him to get fucked.

Love didn’t come easy for you. But loving Spencer was the easiest thing you have ever done. Hating him was near impossible.

[heartfullofleeches]

[+18]

V and fuckboy playboy/wingman male Darling-

Hear me out-

Darling is the son of some other loaded family that has close ties with V's. The two cross paths at a gathering and their parents urge them to make friends. Darling plays video games. V plays video games. They exchange numbers with some persuasion from their folks and set up a time to play something together although begrudgingly on V's end. V ends up having a better time than he expected, but right before he really starts to enjoy his time with Darling - he tells V he has to head out.

"Nice meeting you, dude. We gotta do this again. I got a girl coming over and I gotta bounce."

And just like that V's hopes are crushed. He's still learning about his attraction towards guys, but - Darling was sorta cute....

"oh....so you have a girlfriend."

Darling laughs.

"Nah, man. Haven't found the right girl...or guy to tie me down yet, plus I'm just enjoying the single life for now.... I can send pics after we're done if you want. She's totally chill and likes when I show her off."

Pictures?.... V agrees - thinking not much of it. He goes back to playing and eventually it slips from his mind. Hours later he receives photos of what looks to be a topless girl in a dimly lit room. She smiles big at the camera - eyes and upper face blocked from sight by the shaft of the bastard with her cheek pressed to his inner thigh. He still had on the same pair of sweats V had seen him in earlier that day. He only met this guy not even twenty-four hours ago and now he's seen his dick. Even worse - there's a pretty girl with her lipstick and spit all over it in the same picture. V's pissed - yet the image magically appears in one of his porn holders later on."

"what the hell...."

"My bad! I thought you might like it. You don't seem like a guy who gets a lot of action... If you ever want to meet someone, just give me a call. I know a lot of people who'd be interested in a rich brat like you."

This guy.... he acts like he's any different. V thinks Darling is a freak to put things lightly, but its not like he has other people to hang out with. As the two hang out V sees that Darling isn't as bad as he first seemed. He's still a horny, inconsiderate prick most days - but he's still the best thing V has to a friend and cares for V in his own way..... Still sends V dick pics he sweats were for someone els.

Darling is genuinely surprised that V has never been with someone. Sure, he doesn't seem like he gets that much attention, but he was sure V had at least kissed someone once. The topic comes up when Darling tries for the hundredth time to hook with up with one of his flings. He's always sending V evidence of the nights he spent with strangers. Oddly enough - V only ever complains about the videos and photos when they don't have darling in them as well.

"Damn.... I know you're a pain in the ass sometimes, but you're cute I thought somebody would've looked past that.....

V hates with Darling says shit like that. He's not used to people flirting with him and... and it gives him false hope. "Shut up....

"So, think she's cute? I can give her your number~"

"I don't want it."

This sucks.... By now, V's fully aware of his crush on Darling - and he fucking hates the bastard for what he's doing to him. If Darling is so concerned about him seeing people why doesn't he just take V out instead. He jerks off to everything Darling sends him wondering when he'll get his turn. V has some solace in the fact Darling rare sees any of his partners twice. V has been with him and always will be with him longer than any of them have. He just has to be patient.....and ruin any chances Darling has of being with anyone else.

V nearly jumps out of his skin reading one of Darling's numerous drunken texts.

"Hey, man. Totally speaking out my ass here, but would you ever be down to have a threesome sometime ;)"

[eskymoos]

Levi Ackerman As a Romantic Partner

Headcanons by Eskimos

Levi Ackerman is the Captain of the scouts.

Of course he will have high expectations of you. His eyes are always on the target and his strength never fails. However, he knows to keep you close during every mission. Regardless of whether his behavior betrays it, his heart beats for you. Levi would sooner put himself under a guillotine blade than let anything or anybody hurt you.

He's also the type to hold a long speech to you about how you're using your ODM gear wrong and then, when you finally get the chance to shine, he will fly past you and slash three titans at once. Is he doing it for the safety of everybody or just to impress you? That remains a mystery.

Levi Ackerman is Humanity's Strongest soldier.

He doesn't crow about his strength. Nobody questions it because it's a fact. What's more, you've seen both sides of the coin. Levi implements harsh, disciplinary methods on young, delinquent soldiers. Sometimes he even punishes them physically. You might catch the Captain in the hallway dragging somebody like a ragdoll by their hair or kicking the back of their knee to trip them and the next moment you're in his office doing your work alongside him while his fingers rest in your hair. The same fingers that just tormented somebody tangle in your hair and mess it affectionately. You know how to find comfort in his cold presence. In fact, you know he would turn the Earth inside out if something were to happen to you.

Levi Ackerman is a member of the exiled Ackerman clan.

Levi is many things and definitely not proud of his origins. He knows a thing or two about how the Ackerman clan came to be and why it's so despised. The only reason he chooses to associate himself with the name is because it reminds him of the first person he ever truly loved- his mother. Or, well, that used to be the explanation before you stepped into his life. Now he daydreams about making you an Ackerman. His partner until death does you apart. In his eyes, the shame is all gone because you're his other half and he would happily make that bond eternal.

Levi Ackerman is a hyper ultra mega clean freak.

His room? Spotless? His office? Shining clean.

Hygiene is a thing he will never ever overlook (his past can explain that mania). There's nothing more enjoyable than a deep clean and a fresh start.

However, there's a secret he will never tell anybody. Your disorganization and chaotic, aimless persona holds some charm that he never expected to find in the first place. Yes, he certaintly won't be encouraging a filthy work space but you being the polar opposite can give him butterflies and gradually drive him mad. Before you know it, his entire mind is a mess because of you and you don't even suspect a thing.

If you're a clean freak like him, then you're undeniably the soulmate he yearns for. Levi's obsession can only grow deeper if he sees a reflection of his own ideas in you.

Levi Ackerman is a murder weapon.

Having been recruited from a young age to serve Erwin, Levi is very much used to the blood bath that comes with his job. He is ruthless from the core of his beating heart. If justice stands behind violence, then he won't mind being the bad guy even if it ruins an innocent life.

Things are not so black and white behind closed doors. If you're the lucky person who owns his heart and soul, you will have the honor of receiving limitless amount of devotion from the depths of his eyes. His touch will always be gentle and his words- thoughtful. He will always be a shoulder to cry on and a shelter to stand under.

Even during more intimate moments, his focus will be entirely on you and the gentleness of his actions will make your head spin.

''Deep breaths, come on.''

''Eyes on me.''

''That's it. Just like that.''

Levi Ackerman is human. More human than people think.

There are days when things just get too much. And when the world is too loud and all burdens weigh on his shoulders, he will find you and keep you close.

Levi is confirmed to be a very emotional character. Even his silence speaks volumes when he sits beside you, arms and legs crossed and his head resting on your shoulder. He will relish you and worship these bits of tranquility that he rarely gets.

Levi Ackerman is an insomniac.

His nights are a hellish loop. Memories, work, plan-making, strategies. The man doesn't have it easy. You are the antidote for all his problems. When you sleep near him, even if you've passed out in his office, he will observe you and take care of you to the best of his capabilities. The sight of a loved one being at peace heals all his scars and suddenly he feels like he is dreaming.

''Huh-- Levi, are you alright?''

''Go to sleep,'' he'd murmur, looking into your tired eyes. ''I am here. Sleep.''

And it's true. He is always there. He always will be.

Levi Ackerman is short.

And he wishes there was a way to change that. It's an insecurity he can't mask so easily but it doesn't affect him too strongly. Truth is, building a healthy relationship with you will only fuel his desire to demonstrate other good traits. For example, if you're struggling to reach something he will walk behind you and position his cold, slender hands on your waist just to lift you up and help out. He's short, yes, but outstandingly intelligent.

Levi Ackerman? He is like no other.

[ne-nene-ne]

♡ How to gain the dragon's affection ♡

-> things you can do to make this handsome fae weak in the knees

malleus x reader (fluff!)

Wear or carry the things he's gifted you!

Whether it's a necklace, bracelet, or even a mini gargoyle statue, have it on you! Malleus will beam with pride when he sees it on your person. I feel like he's a bit of a possessive person, so he'd love seeing you dressed in the things that he, himself has chosen and gifted you.

Indulge him in his passion for exploring ruins and his love for gargoyles!

If you show even the tiniest bit of interest in gargoyles or ruin exploring, you will see Malleus' eyes light up immediately and he will begin talking about it for hours. Please allow him to do so. Not many share his passion or are interested in these types of things (if at all), please listen to him ramble on. Heck, join the Gargoyle Studies Club! Give this dude some company because he's pretty much the only member there. 😭 And look, he's aware that not everyone is interested in the same things he is, but if you at least put in the effort to listen and try to understand, he'd be a happy fae

Include him in your activities!

We already know how much of a complex he has towards being invited/uninvited, so if you constantly make it a point to include him in whatever you're doing, he will feel loved. I don't think he'd be picky about what kind of activity you'd be doing. He'd be open-minded to whatever it is. In fact, he'd try to find possible ways to make it easier on you if it's a difficult task. If it's an artsy/creative activity, like painting, there's a chance he'll either be pretty good at it at first try, or he'll end up making a bit of a mess. I also don't think he'd mind much of this either, even if he did end up looking silly. He would laugh it off heartily and probably be like, "How interesting...!" He's curious about your ways and is very much willing to learn. His adoration for you will just increase if you try to teach him

Help him raise his tamagotchi!

He absolutely loves his Roaring Drago and so if you offer to help him "raise" it or offer to watch over it whenever he's busy, he'll fall more in love with you. Not only will he feel closer to you as you both nurture the little creature, he might even begin to see a future with you and your own little ones (if you ever had that in mind) and oh, how he knows how much he'd love that life dearly if it was spent with you.

Share that full-sized cake with him!

This one is oddly specific but as seen in his profile, Malleus dislikes full-sized cakes because he tried eating one entirely by himself 😅 (ofc he wouldn't feel great afterwards). You might be met with a resistant attitude or sour face from him (out of instinct) when you bring out that whole cake, but show him that it isn't as bad as he thinks when he shares it with someone. Maybe he'll like it! And if he doesn't, well then you guys can smear the leftovers on each other's faces and have a bit of fun!

This poor boy has just been left out on a lot. Make him feel welcomed, wanted, and loved and he will adore you forever 🥺❤️

a/n: not really proofread tbh but it was a fun one! I might just turn this into a series and do the same for other twst charas. I'm thinking of Azul or Leona next, hmm

And OKAY so I originally posted this on @lyneira (my brand new writing blog) but my posts on there aren't showing up in the tags yet so I guess I'll still be posting some of my writing here until tumblr allows them to be seen 😭 somebody pls interact with my new blog so that tumblr doesn't think I'm a bot 😔

[inventedfangirling]

My friends i watched love for love's sake and I swear i don't have a fckin clue where even to start.

I know a lot has been said about the show already and i know a LOT more would be said about in the future, but i just can't help adding my own two cents to one of the most thought-provoking, moving and brilliantly executed pieces of art i have ever seen.

I'm not gonna go on about just how much I loved Tae Myungha's character and how he is one of the most interesting people I've seen on screen in a long time. I'm not gonna talk about how unbelievably squishable Yeowoon is and how his duality totally ruined me that I need him to get into my pocket and NEVER leave. And oh I need him to put Myungha in his pocket while at it. I'm also not gonna talk about precious 'of course i'm gay, i've always liked girls, you don't know how to be loved' Sangwon is to me, cos if i start I can promise you I will most certainly never stop.

So for the sake of the rest of this post, I'm moving on. (NOT REALLY THO)

I just LOVE LOVE LOVE all the interpretations that people are coming up with, LOVE LOVE LOVE the show for filling in the gaps but LOVE it more for still leaving room for pretty thought-flowers to bloom around.

You know those artworks or puzzles that have something obvious hidden in a maze of confusion and haze until somebody points out the pattern, you zoom out and realize wow it was this clear all along?? That's a LOT of what watching the show felt like to me. The pattern being how inexplicably inter-connected Myungha and Yeowoon are. Not because they are each other's blorbos, but because why they are eo's blorbos. Why they don't care for each other from a sense of sympathy, but from empathy, despite not knowing the depth of their connections explicitly.

Eventhough we do see glimpses of it from the start, it only gets more clear later how Myungha and Yeowoon really are mirror versions of eo. How the first time Myungha sees Yeowoon he's stopping him from killing himself, and then we later find out that Myungha ends up killing himself. How both of it was triggered by a series of disappointments in life, starting with a troubling family and ending with a grandmother who passes away. Of how both of them seem to really have no one else to call their own in the world. Of leading very lonely depressing lives, that seem to never have a glimpse of hope. How both of them seem closed off, but inside they really are so fragile it hurts to perceive the depth of their feelings. It all comes and hits you once you've taken the whole show in and have gotten a few 1000 seconds to think about it.

We start off with myungha's character wanting to make his blorbo's character happy, and he's in it cos he cares about him, he doesn't have to think about himself. A 'pathetic' character experiencing a lot of pain, what's not to love, Myungha thinks, not realizing that it's his own mirror self that he is feeling so much for. Myungha sees Yeowoon's problems as someone from outside and is therefore able to objectively look at it, and approach it proactively, taking so many steps to help him, my favourite (and arguably most important) of which is the effort he puts in to help form yeowoon a friend circle. Something that he couldn't do for himself cos he never even considered a possibility of that. Why would anybody want to be around him? He ruins everything right?

And then to go on despite believing that, to falling in love, to deciding to choose to save both his grandma and yeowoon, finally FINALLY taking control into his hands even if for a bit to say what he wants, to spending the last few days together, to breaking up cos he just thinks the worst of himself, cos he doesn't know better. And then to the eternal darkness, where moments before leaving, just like in his real life, he realizes he wants in, he wants to live, he wants to love, but more importantly this time, he wants to try being loved. Even if it's difficult, he wants to try.

I love how eventhough the show is heavily Myungha focused, we get meaningful dynamics with multiple characters. Round eyed gasp inducing moments dont just belong to the two mains but also to sangwon whose line to myungha post the stalker incident just ruined me and really set the tone for whatever the show was later revealed to be all about.

I love how complicated the narrative got while still telling a more or less coherent story, how in hindsight, a lot of it makes even more sense now. How as Myungha gets closer to yeowoon his self-hating tendencies manifest in the form of debuffs and errors, because of his own brain's inability to perceive himself as somebody deserving love. His childhood trauma and the numerous rejections life has given him, because of the kind of person he turned out to be because of those rejections, all appear to stand in his way of happiness, as if he can't help being a bundle of sadness and a harbinger of problems. Even as he says he doesn't believe in destiny or fate. Or as we initially are made to believe in the game as, yeowoon's happiness, when in reality this was never about yeowoon at all. Yeowoon never existed in the first place and in "real" life, he never does.

I was blown away by how Myungha is in fact no longer in the mortal world but that fact doesn't hurt as much as that he would have to leave a world where he could finally feel happiness, feel loved, feel cared for, even if he consciously tried avoiding them. They still came to him, they still cared for him, they still fiercely wanted to protect him, (Cos he is just a tiny meow meow, who has been hurt a lot in his life, who wouldn't wanna caress and nurse him back to health HUH) just as much as he wanted to protect them.

And coming to the question of what's the game, where is it happening and who orchestrated it? It's definitely set in the afterlife or the limbo between life and the life after. It could be the author friend doing it, or the author friend has given myungha's brain the power to control the game OR of course the possibility that this has all been happening in myungha's head the whole time.

Whatever it is, the whole point has been to take Myungha from a person not wanting to live his life, feeling so devoid of love and happiness, to a journey of love and friendship, of the importance of fostering connections, of making efforts, of helping others, but equally of letting others help you, of putting your hand out and asking for that help. And in my head I love it most when I think of it as entirely Myungha orchestrated. Of it being a desperate cry of pain to himself, from himself, to save himself. Yeowoon and the game and the missions and all of it was for him to see himself in ways he never allowed himself to be seen as, to take care of himself in ways he never has, to love himself like he has never known to. To finally run towards himself, even if pathetic and sad, the Cha Yeowoon of the game, the person waiting at the end of the finishing line was the Tae Myungha in him all along.

You know that tumblr quote 'do it for her' but its about your future self, right? Myungha rooting for Yeowoon is sort of like that? When he's protecing him, he's protecting himself? When he's cheering for him, he's actually cheering and rooting for himself? When he's loving him, he makes space and place to love himself?

I just love the idea of a (self) love story.

Eitherway Yeowoon x Myungha supremacy.

Extreme(ly accurate?) Interpretations apart, Love for Love's Sake is truly one of the, if not THE finest (self) love story I might have ever seen.

As a person who avoids fics/books with mcd or shows with tragic endings, it felt absolutely revolutionary to me that my biggest joy and relief came from the fact that the main character is dead (the thought of myungha having to leave the game was too much to handle) and he gets to live in this game where he has a cute boyfriend, a supportive, caring friend group and his grandma back. it wasn't the game that was temporary or non-existent, it was actually his life outside. And that's not bad? Cos this is a story and Myungha isn't real, but as real as he is, he got his happy ending.

The show taught us to love, to see love, to be loved and to share that love. It told us that maybe the afterlife is a videogame simulation where we all get to live in friendship and love forever, with our blorbo and our friends. There are a lot worse lives to live. And I'm glad he found it in himself, enough love, courage and hope to write himself a better one :')

[sgojoenthusiast]

ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ☆ KINKTOBER 2023 ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

➸ DAY FOUR: CAT AND MOUSE.

✧.* leon kennedy x reader

summary: Police offier Leon Kennedy had become obsessed with catching you finally, after so long of you slipping right out of his hands, only to end up fucking you against his car and letting you go so that you could continue this game of cat and mouse.

cw: fem reader, police officer! leon x criminal! reader, handcuffs, p in v, oral (m recieving), leon fucks you against his car, breeding kink, 'sweetheart', leon whimpers obvs, kinda public sex.

word count: 3.2k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

masterlist.

-`♡´-

It was dark, there was quite literally nobody around, so how had Leon managed to catch you? The only explanation would be if he was following you, waiting for you to make your move so that he could make his.

Truthfully, ever since the first moment your eyes had met his own, you did everything in your power so that you could bump into each other again.

Anytime he was around, you'd instinctively attempt to gain his attention. You would steal things you didn't need, break into places for no reason, start fights with little meaning - yet he had never managed to catch and arrest you. You were simply too quick and slippery for him to ever catch. You would always be gone before he’d managed to cross the street or run up to you to stop you.

You hadn’t a clue why you were so keen on gaining his attention. Perhaps, you thought, it had something to do with the aching sensation between your legs whenever your eyes would connect.

Nevertheless, today, you had an actual job to do and being caught would cause major devastations for you and could potentially ruin your life. You were actually trying not to be seen or caught as you were trying to steal files from somebody that had dirt on you and was attempting to blackmail you. But of course, who else would be around in a completely isolated area other than Leon Kennedy?

The one time you hadn’t wanted him around. 

He escorted you to his car, claiming that you were under arrest for an attempted robbery.

“I have no clue what you’re on about, Officer Kennedy. Really, I was just on a walk.” You knew it was helpless to act innocent, yet you really wanted to wind him up a bit for pissing you off and arresting you, therefore putting on a seductive tone when using his name.

He had your hands behind your back, tightly handcuffed together, as he pushed you forward a bit, aiming to get you to his car faster. Leon was reluctant to admit that, despite his initial satisfaction at the idea of finally putting you behind bars, he was disappointed he wouldn’t get to continue this game of cat and mouse. He tried shaking those thoughts away, yet they continued to lurk at the back of his mind despite his attempts.

“Oh yeah? So, how come I caught you smashing a window and reaching in to open the door, hm?”

“Forgot my keys, Officer.”

Leon barked out a short, cold laugh. He knew you weren’t trying to make excuses, and that pissed him off even more than just the sight of your face, simply because he knew you weren’t taking this seriously, yet he wanted you to understand that he had won this time, and you weren’t getting away. 

He had dealt with and faced much harsher criminals. Some of the crimes he had witnessed had left him with little hope for humanity. Yet, there was something about the way that you would just look at him that made him want to punch a hole in the wall and at the same time, fuck you where you stood.

“Oh don’t worry, sweetheart, I believe you.” His voice dripped with sarcasm, and all you could think to do was look back at him with a seductive smile and mischievous eyes as you bit your lip and then turned back. He really couldn’t stand you. Even more so, he couldn’t stand the way you made him feel.

You were fully aware that you had been caught, therefore, you had nothing better to do than to simply piss Leon off. If you had known that annoying him was all it took for him to push you up against the side of his car door, you would’ve tried a lot harder and would’ve gotten yourself caught long ago.

You were a few paces from the car, before you turned around to face him, his hands still gripped firmly onto your arm so it took a bit of effort and hurt slightly. “You know Leon, I could feel your eyes on my ass the entire time we were walking. You don’t have to tie my hands around my back if you want me to-”

A loud slam could have been heard from miles away, although all you could do was smirk and roll your tongue across the edge of your teeth in a seductive manner. Staring at him with half lidded eyes, you tilted your head at him as if to say ‘was that all it took?’.

“You really enjoy pissing me the fuck off, don’t you?”

One of his hands gripped your arm tightly, whilst the other moved up to hold your chin, forcing you to look at him. 

“It’s all fun and games, Officer Kennedy, no need to be so serious about it.” You fake pouted up at him with playful eyes, batting your eyelashes softly.

“Do you not see what you’re doing to me, huh? C’mon, sweetheart, you’re not stupid. We both know that.”

His hand on your chin loosened, dropping down to caress your jaw before he trailed it down your body with the lightest of touches. You raised your head slightly, bringing it closer to his own before whispering delicately in his ear. “And what is it that I’m doing to you, Officer Kennedy?”

Leon could feel his dick twitching in his pants, begging for release. “Stop calling me that.”

Looking up at him with deceitfully confused eyes, you replied. “Calling you what, your name?”

He was right, you weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what you were doing and exactly which buttons to press.

“C’mon Officer, it’s just me and you out here. Put me in my place, show me who’s in charge. We both know how much you want that. It’s driving you insane how I haven’t shown any signs of defeat yet, isn’t it?” 

You were reading him so fluently and effortlessly - it scared him slightly. How were you so capable of seeing right through him? After a few passing moments, he could no longer find it within himself to care. 

All he could focus on was the feeling of your breath fanning his cheek, the idea your hands were behind your back and the fact that you had asked him to put you in your place. Who was he to say no to such a compelling offer?

Flipping your positions, Leon now leaned against the car door as he shoved you to your knees. You licked your lips eagerly, as though you had been waiting for this very moment -  the moment in which Leon finally gave into his temptations.

As he removed his belt and undid the zipper, his eyes remained emotionless on yours. If anything, he looked slightly annoyed. 

He removed his dick from the confines of his pants, sighing deeply out of relief. His dick had been aching ever since he had first started following you. Just knowing that you were around got his dick hard.

Tapping his dick lightly against your cheek, he signals for you to start. You struggle a bit, without your hands, especially due to his length. You weren’t positive you’d be able to take all of him in your mouth, but fuck were you gonna die trying.

Your tongue trailed slowly up the length of his dick, before playfully teasing around his tip. Leon wanted nothing more than to fuck that smug look right off your face. For now, however, he just rested his hand on the top of your head as he watched you work his dick.

Shuffling closer to him on your knees, you started to take him inside of your mouth. You moved your tongue around him in a way that had him holding back moans, his grip on your head tightening as a result of him attempting to restrain himself.

Your eyes began to tear up the more of  his dick you took into your mouth. Though, you continued to move your tongue around him skillfully nevertheless.

He couldn’t stop the pathetic whine that slipped from his lips at the feeling of your lips around his cock. You were taking him all so well and without any complaints.

Leon threw his head back, his thumb caressing your head as you bobbed it up and down, a trail of saliva dripping down your chin yet you couldn’t have cared less in that moment because all you could think about was pleasuring him. And even he couldn’t deny that you were doing such a great job at it - even if he loathed you ever so slightly for how you managed to plague his every thought and how you so effortlessly took over his life and made him into a pathetic mess.

Once he had moaned once, he couldn’t stop the string of whimpers and gasps that betrayed him and escaped his lips. He simply had no control left over his body, as though he belonged to you completely. Both of you knew that it was only you that would be able to elicit such a reaction from Leon.

The entire time you had your lips wrapped around his cock, your eyes never left his once. Every time your eye contact would break, it was the result of him closing his eyes tightly as he muttered out curse words. Though, in the end, he was cursing himself out for looking away in the first place. He could’ve had the image of you looking up at him with big, teary eyes whilst his dick was halfway down his throat printed in the front of his mind for the rest of his days.

It was this image that sent him to pull you off his dick before he could come. You looked up at him inquisitively, wondering why he had stopped. Yet, all Leon could think about was stuffing you full completely. 

Lifting you up, he tugged you forward so that you stumbled into him, his lips grazing over your ear. “If I'm gonna cum, sweetheart, it’s gonna be in this pussy.”

And even if you so badly wanted him to cum in your mouth, the idea of him finishing inside of you had you feeling hot as you clenched your legs together in a desperate attempt for friction.

Pulling away to look at your face, Leon swiped his thumb across your chin in a sweet attempt to clean you up. 

You had no idea where that kindness from just moments ago had disappeared to before he slammed you up against the vehicle once again.

For the second time that night, Leon had you pressed against his car. This time, he seemed far more impatient. He pulled down the fabric of your shirt, so that your bra would be revealed, until he was pulling that down too.

Moving your hair to the side, he started to kiss down your neck before he began leaving marks on your skin - claiming you as his own. He sucked a plethora of bruises into the skin of your neck before pulling away to view his work with satisfaction plastered all over his features. 

Then, Leon dragged you over to the hood of his car as you stumbled and whined about how rough he was being, to which he simply ignored you and disregarded you with a roll of his eyes.

He bent you over the hood and pulled down your pants, revealing the thin, lacy material of your underwear that hardly covered the curve of your ass. Leon was mesmerised at the sight of you bending over his car, supported by your elbows holding you up, as you looked back at him, waited patiently for him to finally fuck you.

Leon ran his hands over every part of you he couldn’t touch and every part that wasn’t blocked by the annoyance of your clothing - he made a mental note to take you home next time so he could see all of you. However, he wasn’t gonna deny that the sight of your tits spilling out of your overly tight shirt and pressed against his car was one he was going to remember for the rest of his life.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect. You been waiting for me to fuck you, hm? Is that why you’ve had me chasing you around all this time? Tryna get yourself caught so that I can punish you like you deserve?”

“Depends, Officer. You actually gonna fuck me, or are you just gonna keep running your mouth?”

He shook his head, a smile of humour mixed with slight frustration and disbelief at your words played on his lips. “Running my mouth, huh? Then what is it exactly that you're doing, sweetheart? Always talking shit. Was hoping my dick down your throat would’ve shut you up.”

You bit your lip and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’ll have to try  a lot harder to shut me up, Officer.” Leon simply rolled his eyes behind your back and continued to travel his hands across your body, exploring every inch and committing what he could to memory.

A singular finger teasingly pushed aside your panties as he ran it through your folds before bringing it to his lips and groaning lowly at the taste of you. He almost decided to eat you out before fucking you properly, yet he couldn’t ignore his dick that rested hard against your leg, aching for relief. 

He pulled down your panties and you wiggled your hips in anticipation and desperation. The throbbing feeling between your legs clouded your entire mind, leaving you with little respect for yourself as you muttered out quiet pleads for him to fuck you.

All it took was for you to look up at him with those wide eyes for him to give in and finally take his dick in his hand and position it in front of your hole.

“Want me to fuck you sweetheart? C’mon, you’ve been a brat all night. You can ask nicely just this once, can’t you?”

You rolled your hips back in an attempt for him to put it in, yet after so long of studying your every move, Leon knew you far too well and immediately pulled back before you could even make contact. The only place your actions got you, was Leon smacking your ass harshly causing you to gasp at the contact.

“Shit! ‘M sorry, Leon- Please fuck me, I need it so much. I’m sorry for being bad. I just need your dick inside me, please! Needed it for so long.” You managed to spew out and although your eyes were red and teary from the hard slap against your ass, there was no denying the dripping of your pussy that was starting to run down your legs from just that one smack.

If the situation had been different, if you were anywhere but outside, fucking against his car - a police car, nevertheless, he would have teased you and punished you harshly for your misbehaviour (though he was positive if the circumstances were different, you’d have taken control a while ago). However, considering that wasn’t the case, and that in reality he didn’t think he had the kind of self restraint to punish you at this moment, he decided to forgive you and slowly began shoving his length deep inside of your dripping pussy.

Throwing his head back, he had one hand on the curve of your ass and the other gripping the back of your neck gently. You whined at the feeling of his dick sinking deep inside of you.

Leon began to start thrusting in and out of you at a slow pace yet with brutal force.

His mind was reeling at the feeling of your tight pussy squeezing him so generously, and he could no longer hold himself back for either your sake or his own. His thrusts increased in pace and force progressively before you were sobbing and screaming on his dick, no longer able to hold yourself up with your arms as you went limp against the car hood, grabbing at the car uselessly for any fraction of control or stability.

Leon's hair fell in front of his face as he concentrated on how his dick was moving in and out of you. He was practically infatuated with the sight, his eyes wide and unwilling to blink and miss out of any of it. 

Reaching over, he forced you to stand up as he helped you keep your balance with one hand on your stomach and the other on your neck - his hold was light yet nevertheless it made your mind spin with pleasure.

Both of your moans got lost into the night sky. You were much louder than Leon, your moans breathless, fragmented and deafening yet you had no room within you left to care when he was fucking you so nicely. Leon was quieter, yet not silent. He cursed and whimpered out hushed moans into your ear, keeping his noises between the two of you like a secret.

“F-fuck. You’re fucking amazing, sweetheart. Sucking me in so perfectly - ahhh! Can’t get enough off you.” He whined in your ear.

The hand on your stomach snaked down to your pussy whilst Leon buried his head in your neck. His fingers began to play with your clit in a teasing and slow manner. The closer he got to his own orgasm, the more his fingers sped up. 

You were losing your mind to the pleasure. His hand on your throat began to squeeze nicely as his dick hit your g-spot repetitively and ruthlessly.

“Gonna cum, Leon! Please, please! Finish with me.”

“Want me to cum in you? Please let me. Please let me cum in you sweetheart, need to make you mine so bad. Gonna knock you up and show everyone who you belong to. Please-”

As if on cue, your pussy tightened around Leon's cock as you cried out in pleasure, your vision going white as the knot snapped inside of you in a way it never had before. 

Your orgasm sent Leon following you over the edge as he shot his load deep inside of your pussy, filling you up completely. His head buried itself even further into your neck as you threw your own back due to the immense pleasure that was overtaking you.

You could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he recovered from his orgasm, both of you breathing in sync.

“Didn’t think you’d actually finish inside of me, Leon.” You joked, he could hear the smirk that your words had come from. All he could do was laugh exhaustively and mutter out half-apologies into your neck as he kissed it softly.

Even afterwards, as you were coming down from your high, Leon hadn’t taken his dick out of you.

“Gotta make sure it sticks somehow, ain’t that right?”

Once you and Leon had put your clothes back on properly and fixed the state you were in, Leon brought his lips to your ear, already regretting his future actions and his own betrayal to both his own morals and his work. 

He gripped your hips as your arms wrapped around his shoulders. “You gonna go back to teasing the hell out of me and making me chase you around after this? Or are you gonna let me catch you next time so we can do this again, hm?”

You pulled away in confusion, which only ended up confusing him as well.. “You’re letting me go?”

“I’m not gonna put a girl I’ve just fucked in jail, am I?”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: i lowkey hate this so i may edit it in the future but also its so late as im writing this and im only 4/13 fanfics down and october starts in two days LMAO

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟsgojoenthusiast

[runawayy-kidd]

The Reynolds Pamphlet— You ever seen somebody ruin their own life?

[gaydinosaurbananamilkcarton]

I still love sakura. Even if she's a dumbass. No way am I sticking around for somebody that not only treated me like shit, he left me to take care of my daughter by myself for 9 years and then tried to kill her when he met her. The main reason I like sakura is because of her character development. Instead of being a weak sasuke obsessed character, she actually became a strong sasuke obsessed character! Yay!

Most people won't admit it, but they hate sakura because of some shit she said to naruto when they were KIDS(12), not to mention, she wasn't lying. He was an orphan 💀 but they go and say that she's weak, even after she gets stronger, and like rock lee for doing exactly what she did. (Training to become better) sakura never HAD the same powers that naruto and sasuke did. Yet she still MANAGED on her own. That's why I like her.

I like naruto, just not his mindset. Of course I want to become hokage and protect people that treated me like shit for my entire life! Then he became hokage, and made NO changes for the better. He didn't want to be hokage to help, he wanted to be hokage just because he craved attention and validation. He always wants to save people, and doesn't understand that he's making it worse. Sasuke IS more realistic as a character, and sasuke has had it worse than naruto has. Hate me all you want, but it's true. His entire clan was murdered by his brother, including his parents. And then he was obsessed with revenge, only to kill his brother and then find out WHY itachi did what he did and he had to regret it. All he ever KNEW was loneliness and anger, so he had no idea how to live without it. Naruto never had his parents or siblings, meaning he didn't have to LOSE anything. And that's why sasuke was angry with him.

I also think it's important to include Kakashi though. Not only was he practically USELESS for team 7 as a whole (naruto went to be trained by jiraiya, sasuke by orochimaru/? And then sakura by tsunade. It would've been cold if she trained under guy too but the author HATES a strong female character that isn't evil) kakashi needs to be analysed as a whole, especially with his treatment of sasuke. He claims to have gone through what sasuke did, and then tells him that revenge is pointless and leaves you hollow, and then he helps shikamaru get revenge for asuma. He's a hypocrite. He wins the award for the world's WORST sensei.

I won't even make a separate post for boruto, because there's no reason. The show is confusing as hell, and equally as pointless. Boruto hates his dad for no reason, all the important fights are for sasuke and naruto, naruto adopts kawaki and let's him beat up his son, kawaki seals them away and then flips it to make boruto look like he's in the wrong, there are no more shinobi, Boruto trained under sasuke, and then sasuke was sealed in a tree so now he cosplays as him. Sakura is NOWHERE to be seen💀 (good for her) himawari has kurama (how will she not be stronger than boruto?💀) and boruto has Naruto's abilities (rasengan, flying Raijin- minato, and shadow clones) with purple lighting and all of a sudden he's a god. I'm confused about what the jougan does. He also has his fathers weak mindset about not wanting to kill kawaki, but just wanting to punch him. Sarada has insane potential but of course the author won't let her be great because she's a woman! I hate the idea of borusara because I see them as nothing but teammates. It's like the dynamic between naruto and sakura. She treats him like a brother. She hugs her friend that she hasn't seen in 2 years that's also been framed and ostracised by the entire village and suddenly they're the best ship in the world 💀 Delusion at its finest. None of those kids need to be with ANYONE. Just focus on the goddamn anime and stop ruining shit. Because NO ONE is watching it

[skyblueartt]

Can you describe your William and Henry personalities?

OHH sure thing!! It’s like having OCs with less steps LMAOO because we honestly know so little about their personalities before all of the horrors happened! I just make things up lmaooo- kinda just taking my favorite things I’ve seen from the fanbase as well as me just makin up some stuff because why not. I’m still relatively new to this fanbase so ah whatever, fuck it we ball!! Here’s my own personal interpretations of the guys

I’m also at work rn shhhh haha

William- I feel like he is VERY very charming. Eerily charming, even. Smooth talker, can say things that make him appear very personable and likeable. Is it all an act? Probably. Especially after he takes up his new “hobby” after his son dies. I feel like the man is a natural born performer. I imagine that he has a flair for the dramatics and probably has a great stage presence. I mean, he is a performer at the restaurant after all! I also like the idea that William is very egotistical, but deeply insecure. Idk, just think that’s interesting! Also- this guy is VERY eccentric and just an all around like weirdo, like I’m sure he’s very known around town. That whacky British guy who co-owns that chuck-e-cheese place popular with kiddos who is also really fuckin intelligent cuz he makes robots. Like. What a fuckin guy. Even though he’s a bit of a weirdo, since he’s so damn charming, nobody would ever think it possible for him to become this notorious fuckin killer. Terrifying! I also like to think that William has a bit of a strange sense of humor. This is self indulgent because I love dark humor and funny villains 😭

Henry- ah MAN I feel so bad for this guy. I wish we knew more about who he was before the murders! From Fnaf 6, I gather that he’s remorseful, feels guilty, sad, exhausted, and just fucking done. But who was he before everything? Idk! Personally, I LOVE to make him a nice guy who just got every damn thing in his life taken away from him, because that’s just really sad to me LMAO. :( I think Henry could look intimidating sometimes, right, like he’s a bigger guy with a beard and whatever- but he’s actually a really kindhearted guy. To me :’) though he could absolutely beat somebody up and win everytime. For sure. somebody once described him as “the personification of a bear” with how he looks and that’s so fuckin cute. I feel like he’s also got a sense of humor, and I adore imagining that he’s the only Mfer out there to encourage William’s weird ass jokes. He balances Will out, I imagine! Like yin and Yang. Not as sociable as William, I’m sure he’d rather just chill by himself with his robots (bro fuckin loves building robots). But with his loved ones, he’s super kind and funny and just a cool guy- just like, a cool dad or uncle figure. Probably would hug me so tight that I couldn’t breathe, and tbh I love that. Although AFTER Charlie’s death….oh BOY. I headcanon that he has a lot of bad coping mechanisms (alcohol), definitely shut off from the rest of the world, the “color from his life” is gone. Depressed in every sense of the word. I could yap more but I think ya get the jist!! (In my head, it’s fun to imagine Henry and post scoop Mike reconnecting because damn their lives were both ruined by the same guy. Traumatized found family!)

Not my OCs but damn do I treat them like they are😭 they are very fun characters to write and draw!

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Xander is genuinely an interesting character. It’s complicated because a lot of people now just see him as aged poorly or Joss 2.0 and completely ignore the actual show itself and why he is the way he is.

Between the books, not the comics, the actual books and the TV show you come to learn incredibly important things:

Xander had a goth phase for a while that is brought up in the books.

Xander struggles with depression and loneliness.

Xander’s bedroom was in the basement as far removed as a kid could get from their parents.

Xander’s parents fight frequently and violently.

Xander’s father is a cruel drunk who treats his son like an abomination.

All of the above literally explain why Xander is the way that he is….and current fans blatantly ignore and avoid that and it is mind boggling to me.

He wants to joke constantly and make awkward comments and jokes especially if he’s anxious or scared or uncomfortable. He seemingly doubts people aside from Willow could ever like him for himself so he settles for the role of being the clown. He wants to be seen and understood and loved and when Anya eventually offers him this he panics due to the fear that he will turn into an abusive monster like his father and ruin her. Xander ruined his relationship with Cordelia for essentially the same reason, the fear of ruining things, of dragging her into his family and this life that would result in depression and resentment for her. He cheated on her with Willow because Willow is the only person who knows him and knows his family situation and she is safe and comfortable and familiar and kissing her knowing she has loved him most her life at that point was manipulative and misdirected and wrong on his part…..but look at his home life.

The boy never saw what a relationship is meant to be. His parents were hateful and resentful. He didn’t grow up seeing love and he has a deep fear that maybe he can’t actually love somebody.

Even his relationship to Buffy feels like deep down she is who he wants to be more than wants to be with. She’s brave and strong and witty and smart and resourceful and can easily come across like she doesn’t have time to care what people think of her.

And because of the toxic masculinity of the 90s and the shit his own father tried to beat into him about being a real man….he resents that. He feels humiliated and resentful that this girl is everything he’s been told he should be. It’s why he gets so up in arms about Buffy breaking it off with Riley, because Riley is the type of man Xander grew up being told is a real man and he idolizes that.

Spike and Angel don’t fall into this role. Spike ironically enough like Xander we learn was soft and gentle and loved poetry and kind things and was mocked and teased by people for being the way that he was. Spike became a vampire and became blood thirsty but even seeing him with Dru through the centuries the gentle lover never died with his humanity, it comes out more and more as the show progresses and frankly it comes down to vampires have no need to care.

Once you have lived hundreds of years and may live hundreds more then the concept of gender norms and sexuality come to be meaningless human concepts.

Xander is this sort of tragic character who is trapped under so much fear and anxiety and grew up in a time when the worst things you could be is a woman or gay and he wanted badly to be masculine to be a hero to be brave and manly and all of that and it frequently ended up with him distancing from his friends, losing women who did love him and tried to understand him but he never let them close enough.

So anyway I really wish people would look at story more than 2023 social norms in a show made back in the 90s/2000s and also I wish the show had made Xander gay.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

So in terms of Taylor copying lines there is one that was very obvious to me

In the smallest man who ever lived she says:

Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy?

So somehow this directly hints to the dinner scene in the movie Phantom Thread by Paul Thomas Anderson.Also Taylor previously stated she used this film as an inspiration for the song Mastermind so there is no denying she has seen it. I will leave the link for the video the similar dialogue begins at 2:40 and then 3:18

Reynolds:I don't protect myself somebody will come in the middle of the night and take over my corner of room ......

Are you an special agent sent here to ruin my evening possibly my entire life

Did somebody drop me on foreign soils behind enemy lines I'm surrounded on all sides

Who are you do you have a gun are you here to kill me

https://youtu.be/fn5dXUu_qxM?si=stSva_Wsg8h-GZom

I think you've certainly found something interesting.

I do think Taylor Swift lacks enough creativity to really ever come up with an idea on her own. There are so many instances where she straight up just uses source material- without ever crediting the original art that it is almost embarrassing I didn't notice sooner.

There is a lot about Taylor Swift I'm embarrassed I didn't notice sooner.

Truly, I do agree with you that the two dialogues sound remarkably similar- and I think it begs the larger question of authenticity in Swift's work.

For years, she has claimed to write about events in her own life- to use her life as her inspiration. She has even gone so far as to say in an interview that she has basically been publishing her diary for people to read for years. She said this during the "Lover" press run when she was, in fact, publishing bits of her diary for the public to read.

All these big claims about these songs being her authentic representation of self- yet, we always seem to find out that all her ideas are ripped right out of popular movies, old movies, old music, or books. She barely makes effort to change around the wordings and then she still sells it like it was her genuine feelings about a situation.

I'm sorry- but it doesn't make sense. I just think that if something is really truly part of your authentic life experiences- you don't need to copy movie dialogues in order to write about it.

Right?

It calls into question all her so-called "Authenticity" every time I see new evidence that she's ripping someone else off. It all seems so- fake when you ask yourself why does she need to copy other media if she's writing about her own personal life?

I don't need to rely on other media in order to write about my own life- I draw inspiration from other things- sure. However, it never extends to using basically the same dialogue, barely shifting some words around, and using the same thematic point in conjunction, as I write about something real that I experienced.

I just wonder- is she creative enough to find her own concept for songs or not?

You bring up an interesting point about her ability to be creative or original- Frankly, I question it too.

[but-a-humble-goon]

for, https://www.tumblr.com/but-a-humble-goon/754670294342500352/name-a-character-from-one-of-my-fandoms-and-ill?source=share

Cassandra Cain, naturally.

If you already got Cassandra then I'll take a wild swing and go for Emerald Sustrai.

I ain't got Cassandra yet funnily enough. Cassandra Cain Three personal headcanon facts about them -Even after she learns to talk she's still trying to figure out what's going on via inference in 90% of social situations. Words are challenging and not the kind of challenging she likes. -Cass hates stakeouts more than anything in the world. She is a creature of pure motion, she must be free. It takes all of her considerable will and discipline to sit still for longer than an hour or so and it feels like actual torture. -She gets sincerely very emotional listening to Evanescence. She's got no idea about their pop culture context, she just feels very seen by their music. Like she senses a spiritual kinship. A reason they suck Basically everything about how she treated Stephanie in Batgirl 2000. Didn't trust her, didn't respect her, tried very hard to drive her away, completely took their friendship for granted, was generally insufferable and mean to her constantly, took Bruce's side against her and pushed her into getting herself killed. A reason they are great Cassandra Cain is genuinely the kindest soul in the entire DC universe. She is the very essence of empathy and compassion. She would take on the entire world to fight for the life of even the worst person who ever lived. I've said it before but no matter how much the universe tries to hammer the message into her that you can't save them all her response will always be "watch me." A reason I relate to them She's terrible with her emotions and even worse at social interaction and everybody around her misconstrues this as her being emotionless or just projects their own biases onto her. People talk about her like she isn't even there and even though she acts like it doesn't sting, it does. She feels like everybody around her got given a manual on how to be human properly except her. Top tier OTP I don't really ship Cass with anyone. If she's gonna end up with someone at this point it should definitely be Stephanie to give the middle finger to all of the queerbait between the two over the years. Five things that never happened to the character that I believe should have happened. -We should have actually gotten to see her seeing Steph alive again for the first time after War Games and gotten all the devastating emotional fallout of that. -they really should have done a Cass vs Jason storyline at this point, it's kinda ridiculous that they haven't. -Batgirl 2000 should have had a real ending and not just sort of fizzled out the way it did. -Bruce really does need to sort his fucking life out and admit he's basically been feeding her self-abuse, ruining her life and failing her as a father and mentor. -SHE NEEDS A GODDAMN SOLO BOOK AGAIN Five people that the character never fell in love with and why -Conner Kent, much as I think there's probably still some not entirely platonic feelings between them, I don't think anything could ever really come of it, that's why I like where they left off. -Tai'Darshan, because that whole plotline was stupid. -Rose Wilson. If you were to ask Cass she'd tell you it's because Rose is a punk ass bitch. -Zatanna. I know it's like the joke that every bat is at least a little bit in love with Z but Cass could never be with somebody cooler than she is. -Any of her brothers, no matter what people seem to think, because that's disgusting.

[entropicbias]

your existence is genuinely befuddling to me. like i mean this in the absolute nicest way possible, which is kinda stupid because it's going to sound incredibly condescending and mean anyway. i just do not understand how you can build your life and personality around a character you ostensibly have the same name as and get offended when people ask if you are roleplaying or kinning or treat you as a character. especially in the homestuck community. understandably i'd get pissed too but in this community people seem to lack critical thinking skills and you seem aware of that too

i think the way you type everywhere and the fact that a lot of your friends do the exact same thing as you but with other characters from hs gives it away

im not even necessarily saying it's a bad thing to kin a character but if you're gonna do it, it just seems disingenuous to frame it as "i've always been this way"

i understand that i am an asshole for even insinuating that you're just playing a character or maybe it's just that people noticed that you share some similarities with a certain character and you just play into that for fun or something

so i guess my question is whether this is just a huge bit or not. you don't even have to answer this i was just wondering as somebody who previously built my entire identity around a fictional character before

(very well said. john egbert isn't really unique in personality. maybe you should've gone to someone who acted like xehanort. i think that would've landed you a better answer.)

here are multiple tweets of me humoring comments i get regarding this. and also casually telling people i'm not doing a bit, and i don't think i'm john egbert from homestuck. very casually, i've only gotten offended when people have associated me with the character to make assumptions about my personal life and my identity. i'm not sure where else you've seen me "get offended over it" like it's a federal issue. i am pretty aware that that is a normal assumption to make based on what i act like.

here are some youtube comments i made when i was nine or ten. i have never typed exactly like this for all my life consistently. just like any other person. i have had phases where i've just changed to adjust to whatever was big in internet humor and language. but, using periods is just muscle memory to me.

my friends are also their own people. matter of fact, i am friends with a lot of them because this is a shared experience. you see many people in the fandom who have either been like me or there are many cases where people are transgender and have taken on the name and look of a character they relate to. or some people are genuinely just like, people with DID.

there was a brief period in my life where, because of the way i was, i was told i needed to associate with an identity close to how people claim they are "irls" of characters. but i was also 15, and i was a very impressionable kid. and you have to remember that this was like, a trend. even so, i don't think i have ever publicly associated myself with the label at all. it was just a thing i picked up from some weird friends i had going into the fandom. i am obviously grounded in reality, and i am my own person!!!!

i do not currently "kin" or say i "kin" cause that is really gay. no offense to kinners, the concept is fun! it just got ruined by fandom people.

john egbert is more like a persona to me than anything! but it's not like you could tell my drawings of him and me apart. again, not a federal issue.

i think this was a really presumptuous way to ask me this question, like you've completely figured out my act out or something by insinuating that i am being disingenuous. i would have a lot more respect for you if you either approached me privately or didn't make the only way of answering your question to publicly have to tell people i am not lying about my image. i'm really only answering this because i'd hate it if other people thought the same. so, let me clear the air!

i am not building my life around john egbert. that is not even possible at this point because i am a grown ass man. if i wanted to be more like john egbert, i wouldn't draw gay homestuck art as my main hobby.

does this answer your invasive question.

[mystoz]

— how it feels to fall for saihara shuichi.

A/N: not a request, just a sucker for stuff with my fav pretty boy <3

SYNOPSIS: headcanons for what it’s like to fall for and date saihara shuichi.

PAIRING: saihara shuichi x gn! reader

CONTENT WARNINGS: none

ADDITIONAL INFO: reader is gender neutral and uses they/them pronouns, gender is never specified.

WORD COUNT: 1.05k+

PRE-DATING

to fall for saihara is to constantly have that little giddy feeling in your heart when you’re met with something familiar that holds a special place within you.

to fall for saihara is that random rush of happiness you get when pulling an all-nighter.

sighs ,, when i tell you he has my heart

when he finally realizes he likes you, he is such a flustered mess.

it’s almost pitiful

he’ll stutter and stumble over every word, pink to the ears and jaw

touches from saihara pre-relationship will linger much longer than needed.

(they still linger even after you’re dating— a very clingy boy !!)

this includes but is definitely not limited to long hugs, intertwined hands, and linking arms

much to yours and everyone’s surprise, saihara confesses first !

the day he plans is actually quite nice— he takes you out for a stroll in the park and the two of you have a picnic on a hilltop. he knew the stars would be out tonight, so you two stayed atop of the hill and gazed up at the sky, laying down together and chatting amongst yourselves.

your hands are intertwined together, so when he begins to shake slightly, you ask if he’s okay

you best believe he is the most flustered he’s ever been

this boy is drumming his fingers against the ground, stuttering, the poor thing can’t even make eye contact with you

‘ shuichi? are you okay? i can feel your hand shaking, is anything the matter? ’

‘ n-no, uh- well actually, yes, there is- there is something i’ve been wanting to..to tell you for-for a while now. ’

his breathing is beginning to get heavy, his whole body trembling in shame. in fear.

what if you rejected him ?? what if you said no ? what if he ruined what you two already have, what if you never spoke to him again ? what if-

you squeezed his hand to reassure him that he was okay. that he was free to say whatever was on his mind.

‘ i’m right here, shu. it’s okay. you’re okay. ’

he calms himself down, slowly gathering up the courage to tell you what he’s been trying to say for a painfully long time.

‘ i’m so sorry for the trouble, i- uhm, uhm, it’s- ilikeyousomuchy/nilikeyousomuchtothepointwheremyheartisgonnaburstifikeepitinanylongeryoudon’thavetotellmeyoulikemebackijustwantedtoletyouknow- ’

saihara has removed his hand from your own, cradling himself as some form of protection. he’s turning his head away in shame, both because he just bore his heart out to you and because small tears were now spilling over his burning pink cheeks.

you took his hand again and pressed a small kiss to it, resting your hand against his palm.

saihara’s face is mixed with that of confusion and bashfulness, eyes darting back and forth to meet anything but your eyes.

‘ i like you too, shuichi. ’

just rip his heart out right then and there

he starts sobbing with a healthy(not really) mix of relief and happiness

POST-DATING

to date saihara shuichi is the embodiment of floating atop cloud nine. it’s that feeling of happiness when you realize that you have that special someone. when you know there’s somebody out there who loves you. somebody out there who cares about you so much to the point they’d risk their very life for you.

after you two start dating, everyone swears they’ve never seen saihara happier

‘ heehee !! wow, i’ve never seen saihara-chan smile so much ! you should’ve seen him when you weren’t around, n/n-chan !! it was all “y/n this”, “y/n that”, “i wanna kiss y/n soooo much-!!” ’ 

‘ kokichi !! ’

‘ whaaaat ? it’s true, saihara-chan ! ’

‘ i mean, he’s not wrong, shuichi. ’

‘ k-kaede !! ’

needless to say, his friends like to retell tales of saihara’s god awful pining

he is mortified. you think it’s adorable.

saihara loves to give you gifts !! he feels like he owes it to you for being the best lover you could ever be. 

though he gets flustered every time when doing so

he always feels the need to tell you in some shape or form that he loves you, even if you already know it.

speaking of which, failing to give him a constant reminder that he’s loved will result in a whole lot of overthinking and panic.

so make sure to tell him you love him !! whether this be verbally or through your own love language, saihara always needs affirmation when it comes to anything

even just a small “i love you” will mean the absolute world to him

nicknames nicknames nicknames !!!! sometimes they’re purposeful, most of the time it’s a subconscious decision.

“darling, my beloved, sweetheart, dear, my love” are his favorites and what he’ll usually refer to you by.

if you call him nicknames, however, he melts.

you called him pretty boy one time and his whole body went rigid. he stumbled over his words and spoke quietly, a state you hadn’t seen him in ever since he confessed.

a simple yet sweet person. the small things he plans out for your dates or the gifts he gives to you all have some sort of sentimentality behind them. 

saihara is very observant, so he’ll pick up on things you enjoy without much issue.

this benefits the two of you, for he can give you all you want and desire(though you tell him time and time again that just being with him is enough) whilst knowing your likes and dislikes.

he gets so shy about everything. he’s too afraid to do anything with you, so again, affirmation is all he needs. especially when it comes to touching you, it doesn’t come as easily as it does before you got together.

at least, for him.

it’s a must to tell him it’s okay to touch you. he’s so afraid he’ll overstep your boundaries or hurt you. when cuddling, he thinks he’s suffocating you by laying on top of you. when holding hands, he thinks his palms are too sweaty and that his grip on your hand is too tight.

he’s such an over thinker and doesn’t want to mess anything up with you, please tell him he’s doing amazing

dating saihara shuichi is an unforgettable experience that will forever leave you satisfied. he is such a sweet and loving person who is so genuine with you and everything he does. a true gem— please hold onto him and take care of him dearly.

thornesx ©

[angelmichelangelo]

so i just want to talk about the whole donnie and april thing from the 2012 series since i have a lot of thoughts on them both and need somewhere to just. get it out my system.

so off the bat im gonna say i’m pretty neutral about the april/donnie ship. i.. don’t really care for it but if it’s there it’s not gonna overly bother me. i’m pretty much on the fence for most things tmnt ship related (though, big exception for woodyangelo just cus. lol) that being said i do have some thoughts about how it was handled in the 2012 show.

as most people might agree, the writing for these two wasn’t great. i think, just in my humble opinion, that the writers kinda ping ponged back and forth depending on fandom criticism of the ship. one minute the relationship seemed to be slowly developing, a nice easy slow burn and then it’d take a sharp turn and it was back to a lot of uncomfortable pining and uncertainty as to where they would both end up. i think the writers wanted to appease both ends of the fandom here by making it somewhat ambiguous but it kinda blew up in their faces. big time.

so then you have the people who put all the blame on april for this. “she’s leading donnie on!” “she’s playing with both donnie and casey!” “she just wants the attention!” and, yeah. maybe. but here’s my defence: (bad writing aside for a moment, let’s pretend that all of this was done on purpose) april doesn’t know what she wants. when we meet april in the show it’s evident that she’s a little dorky and uncool and she doesn’t have ANY friends. she has irma but it seems to be one of those friendships built out of pure convenience. “oh you don’t have friends, i don’t have friends. cool. let’s hang out.” in every scene they have together it’s awkward and weird because they don’t really seem to click. april has like, as little social skills as the turtles. she doesn’t have friends let alone have TWO guys show her any appreciation and affection. how is she supposed to know how to deal with all that? she’s a teenage girl, feelings are complicated.

and some people might blame donnie. “he kept persisting even when she gave clear hints” “he was being a weirdo about it” “he made her uncomfortable” donnie is a teenage boy who happens to be a mutant. a mutant that lives underground and had never even MET a girl until they saved april. donnie’s only point of reference for romance is what he’s most likely seen on tv or in books. it’s that really cheesy affectionate stuff that might work in movies, but in real life is just strange. donnie has even less social skills that april. he’s only ever had his brothers and dad to talk to. he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings properly because up until he met april, he probably never even knew what it was to have a crush on somebody

my headcanon for these two is that donnie is clearly autistic. he’s very overly empathetic towards april but can’t understand why his efforts aren’t paying off like he thinks they will. i think april being a young teenage girl with a lot on her plate, might not recognise why donnie is acting this way. ive seen a lot of people also headcanon that april is aromantic which i totally 100% love and agree with. i don’t think she recognises this in the way donnie recognises his own autism. it causes them to clash, and neither of them really understand why that is, and can’t quite communicate it to the other until they’ve figured themselves out.

a lot of people say that 2012 ruined the donnie and april friendship that was pretty strong throughout the franchise but honestly, even the 2003 show had pepperings of donnie’s slight crush on april, even back then. it’s not as obvious but it was definitely there. obviously it never got brought up, which imo is a little heartbreaking to think of poor don harbouring these secret feelings for his friend and then having to just. get over it when she marries casey but i think their friendship is still pretty special to them both that it eventually stops becoming an issue for him.

2012 donnie was a social wreck. he had no clue what he was doing and i think the writers could have done waaaay better in making that less of a fault and more of just. idk. just something that made people hate him a little less. it’s in the same vein as mikey’s adhd. i think the writing was a product of its time and that’s why mutant mayhem tackles those issues way way better than 2012 ever did.

it could also be said that donnie and april don’t even really have a lot in common, like some iterations. she’s smart but she’s not a scientist, and donnie’s crush is first of all born out of just physical looks, meaning that maybe donnie just happened to latch onto her because he felt a teeny glimpse of normality (“i could love a girl and she could love me back”) and kinda just held onto that. any of the other girls in the show, donnie doesn’t really draw himself towards but that’s because the other girls are mostly his brothers love interests and donnie is a firm believing in sticking to the bro code lmao (although maybe just from mikey’s perspective, but donnie does seem quite friendly with renet but that might have just been a 2003 callback perhaps, but they have more in common than her and mikey do)

all in all, the donnie/april thing could have been handled way better, especially with casey thrown into the mix. but is there one person solely responsible for the way their relationship played out? absolutely not. they both crossed some boundaries and both made some mistakes that backfired but like i said, they are far from perfect and looking back on their arc together, it’s a little heartbreaking to see how.. unsure they both are, of themselves and of each other. but that’s just my two cent on the whole thing.

i don’t think female characters were the 2012 writers strong point sadly and april suffered as a result but i genuinely think in her good moments, she shines. and donnie isn’t a creep, he’s just a good kid that wants to find his own happiness, even if he looks in the wrong places, both their intentions are good, i believe.

okay rant over sound off in the tags/replies what you think of the donnie/april dynamic in 2012 😎