#you ever have a song that puts you in 'ok time to do shit mode'?

[low-po1y-princess]

part of my before work routine is listening to at least one aquabats song im not kifding

[vxsellie]

Idk If you have Already Heard Dirty little secret- Nessa Barrett. But do It. Okay, Reader used to have a little crush on Ellie but all she want is a little secret, something that nobody have to know. She doesnt like Reader( she thinks) but tables turn, and Reader just like her attention when she's bored

(Sry bad english) Think of It pls.

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET. - E.W

summary. kissing in shadowed corners, sneaking out backdoors, touching in private; that was your relationship with ellie ⎯ a dirty little secret. and that's how you intended on keeping it. though, unbeknownst to you, she was fantasizing about something more permanent. notes. ok so first & foremost, i'm so so so sorry it took so long for me to write this, i have NOT been on my a game lately i fear. i put this in hc format so i'd be able to touch on a longer timeframe rather than having to fit a ton of context into a one shot, hope you don't mind!! also, i actually hadn't heard this song before, so TYSM for introducing me to it! i've been listening on repeattttt,, anyway! hope u like this! also!!! if you read in dark mode, you'll see that ellie's dialogue is in black. but if you read in light mode, it'll just look bold. i advise reading in dark mode or else it'll look a bit wonky, but if you don't i promise you'll still be able to see the difference! warnings. none of the smut is in meticulous detail, but i'll be putting warnings here nonetheless. subtop!ellie x dombottom!reader ; mentions of alcohol & brief desc of drunk sex. oral (r! receiving). head in a bathroom stall (yes we're desperate like that). grinding/ thigh riding.

⋆˚���𝜚˚⋆┆the relationship you have with ellie is a rather complex one.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few years prior to your acquaintance, you had the most piteous crush on her. you'd see her from afar and yearn for her to look in your direction. you see now how absolutely pathetic it had been.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆inevitably, the crush abated. however, it'd done so just in time for her to return your ardor. and so, by the time ellie actually took notice of you and began to reciprocate, you were over her. you were sick of putting so much effort into a girl who couldn't give a single shit about you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but, as it turned out, ellie was far more direct than you. while you spent months just staring at her from a distance, it'd only taken a few weeks of doting before she approached you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you had to give her credit, though, seeing as she had more aplomb than you could ever dream of.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆however, it is important to note that, when she spoken to you, you'd both been absolutely wasted at a college party ⎯ so that likely had a colossal part to play in her confidence that night.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she came up to you when you were alone, a weary smile on her face. her cheeks were rosy from alcohol, her auburn hair a bit tousled. in your own drunken state of inebriety, you couldn't fathom why you'd ever stopped liking her. she was stunning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆long story short, she only got a few flirty sentences out before you were directing her upstairs.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆altering making sure to lock the door, you'd set your red solo cup onto a nearby bookshelf before turning to face her with alluringly lustful eyes. her heart was pounding, absolutely entranced by you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in an instant, you were on her. her hands roamed your body as you kissed down her neck, slowly pushing her back until she fell onto the bed.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you straddled her waist, taking no time to tug her shirt over her head. she aided you, pulling it off in one swift motion. you hardly cared for the dramatics though, far more interested in getting your hands on her.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it was a bit awkward at first, the two of you barely knowing one another and not exactly sure on how the other wished to be touched. but you got the hang on it rather quickly.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night was spent with drunken laughter in your chests, bare skin touching preliminarily, and the knowing it'd all be a hazy memory come morning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆afterward, you'd simply slid your clothes back on and returned to the party. ellie was a bit shocked by this, but said nothing. she wasn't in any place to judge.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her gaze landed on your abandoned red plastic cup on the shelf. she picked it up, intending to use it as a way to spark conversation with you. your lipstick stained the rim, her breath catching at the sight as she recalled the way those same lips felt on her body only a few moments ago.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆with a shake of her head, ellie turned on her heel and began downstairs. though, unfortunately, she was unable to find you for the rest of the night. it was like you'd simply disappeared int thin air. it was maddening, but simultaneously was it captivating.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the following day, she'd seen you around campus a few times. but you didn't seem to notice her in return. you'd either be walking with your friends, your laughter ringing in her ears like a melody; or you'd be by yourself, speed walking as you were dangerously close to being late to your next lesson.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in short, she was rather disappointed that she hadn't been able to talk to you. however, in all honestly, she wasn't quite sure what she'd say.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that didn't last long, though.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆a few weeks later, she managed to catch you in the halls ⎯ albeit accidentally. in a weird twist of fate, you'd bumped into each other while rounding a corner. her face instantly lit up when she saw who it was that she knocked into. you, on the other hand, appeared rather irritated, your drink having spilt down the front of your white shirt.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie apologized over and over, insisting on helping you dry off. you wanted to deny her, but she grabbed you by the wrist and tugged you into the girls' bathroom without waiting for your response.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you looked at your reflection and cursed under your breath as you saw the deep brown stain on your top. welp, your mood was now ruined for the rest of the day.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you pulled your shirt over your head, now standing in only your bra as you held the top in front of you to examine. the stain appeared to not be too bad, likely able to come out in a few washes. at that thought, relief engulfed you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's face instantly felt hot when you took off your shirt, her eyes averting elsewhere.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're acting like you haven't already seen me naked." you said with an amused smirk, leaning over the sink to wash the fabric of your shirt. as you did, she couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to your cleavage as you bent over. her heart hammered in her chest, face now painfully red.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she stood in place awkwardly for a few minutes before you rolled your eyes and beckoned her over, reminding her that she's the one who dragged you in here and that she'd claimed to help you clean it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie walked over to you, the proximity causing her stomach to churn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her shoulder brushed yours and her mind raced with recollections of how your body felt against hers. she suddenly felt her stomach tightening with the need to be closer.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆now, you weren't a fool. you could tell ellie was turned on. she wasn't exactly slick about it either, her eyes on your tits as you scrubbed the shirt and occasionally on your ass when you bent over. but you weren't about to give her what she wanted simply because she wanted it. no, that'd be self deprecating considering how long you spent chasing after her. it was time for ellie williams to be the one yearning.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆so instead, you continued to innocently clean your shirt, using the floral scented soap to wash it. you'd position yourself over the sink in a way you knew she'd be thirsting over ⎯ back subtly arched, breasts pushed together slightly in the mirror. yeah. she was going fucking crazy, to say the very least.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆it eventually became too much and she found herself tracing the tips of her fingers along your forearm. how she got the confidence to even touch you is beyond her. but it worked in her favor.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆because fast forward a mere five minutes and you were both in a random stall, shirt left abandoned in the sink.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were standing with your back against the stall door, ellie on her knees before you. her tongue worked magic against your pussy as she ate you like she'd been starved her whole life.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you braced your hands on either side of the stall, using the walls to hold yourself up as you grew closer and closer to an orgasm.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie's eyes were shut as she focused solely on pleasing you, mouth making out sultrily with your clit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you came, it was a mess. all over her face and neck as your knees nearly collapsed under your weight. ellie hardly minded. honestly, if anything, the taste of you only made her want to do it again. and again. and again.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆needless to say, she was hooked on you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you quite liked the way she treated you, uncaring for her own pleasure as she was content with just watching you come undone. the sight of your rapture was enough to please her, in turn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and so. this became a habit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you'd be walking through the school halls when someone would grab you by the wrist and pull you into a random janitor's closet. you wouldn't even need light to tell who it was, the feel of her hands familiar enough for you to already begin stripping.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆alternatively, she'd be washing her hands when you'd grab the back of her shirt and pull her into a random stall. or eating lunch when you'd give her a look from across the cafeteria that'd wordlessly tell her to meet you in the bathroom.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆regardless of how it's initiated or who pulls who, the two of you always ended up in some lowlight place with your hands on the other. you enjoyed the attention she gave you, seeking her out when bored or in need something to relieve stress.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, for ellie, she did this because she genuinely liked you. she wanted to feel your skin on hers. she wanted to hear those pretty noises you made when you were trying to stay quiet. she wanted to be near you. all the time.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knew you didn't feel the same.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆eventually, after a few months of making out in random places of solitude, ellie said something that shocked you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were zipping your jeans and flattening your hair in an empty classroom, situating yourself to erase any evidence of what you two had been doing. then you noticed ellie appeared a bit disheveled. like, more than normal. she was fiddling with her fingers, cheeks still rosy.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you sighed, telling her to just say whatever she was thinking. and so she did.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i was thinking... well, we've been doing this for a while now and-" she frowned, frustrated by her own inability to speak around you. even after so long of fucking you, she couldn't seem to actually hold a conversation without stammering. "um, well, wouldn't you prefer to do it somewhere nicer? like- i dunno, my place? ...i have a dorm on campus. we can-"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"ellie." you interrupted, pinching the bridge of your nose with a sigh. her ears instantly perked at the sound of her name on your tongue, something you so rarely uttered that she couldn't help the way she yearned to hear it again. "this isn't permanent, you know that right? i'd love to come over to sleep with you, but don't expect anything more. and i'm sorry if that comes off bitchy, but i don't want you getting the wrong impression here."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"yeah yeah, of course not." she scoffed, feigning indifference. "i don't want anything more either. just sex. that's what i was implying too."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you weren't sure how much you actually believed that. but you said nothing, not wanting to ruin whatever you two had going on. if ellie did like you more than she let on, you supposed you'd have to just turn a blind eye if you wished to continue your current relationship.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆that night, you arrived at her dorm with a light knock to the door.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie had been stressing all day since your conversation. you told her that what you two had was nothing more than secretive fucking, but she couldn't help the way she wished that weren't true. she oftentimes found herself thinking of you during lessons, unable to focus on the professor's words. she was even failing a few subjects due to that.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she wanted to clean her dorm before you came over, but she was scared you'd be able to tell and would reprimand her for going out of her way.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆in the end, she decided to tidy it up only a little bit, picking up her clothes that'd been strewn across her floor. and then hiding her journal that was filled with doodles of your nude body.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆by the time you knocked on the door, she was nothing more than a bundle of nerves. her breathing was shaky as she moved to open the door and let you in. the moment she did, her breath hitched.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were dressed casually, wearing something you'd likely be found sleeping in. your hair was wet, signifying that you'd just showered. she'd never seen you in with a domestic emanation ⎯ priorly having only seen you dressed up; whether that be in a skin-tight dress (the party) or the nice outfits you'd wear around campus. but something about this was different. like a new level of intimacy was just drawn.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you noticed her staring and narrowed your eyes at her. "don't you look at me like that." "like what?" "like this is real."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she nodded, not trusting herself to speak, stepping aside to let you into her dorm. you looked around. two beds were situated on either side of the room, a messy desk wedged between them. you raised a brow, asking if she had a dorm mate and if you'd have to worry about them walking in on you. she instantly explained that her roommate, dina, hardly comes to the dorm anyway, much preferring to hang around her friends or in the library.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you seemed pleased by this, glad to know you won't be found out. a few minutes passed of small talk before the atmosphere shifted to what the two of you were most used to ⎯ lustful desperation.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ellie locked the door before turning to see that you were already pulling your clothes off. she chuckled, nearing you as she removed her own.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you were there for hours, ellie unable to get enough of you. the sight of you in her bed, laid out like that. your damp hair unkempt, your body freshly cleaned and smelling of lavender and lilies. she just couldn't get herself away from you, pulled to your body like a fish on a hook.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and you weren't about to complain considering she made you cum five times.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆when you two finally pulled away from each other, you didn't stay long afterward. you laid back in her bed, body slick with sweat as your bare chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. ellie laid beside you, eyes studying every inch of you she could get. she committed this moment to memory, never wanting to forget it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆once you realized what she was doing, you huffed out a breath and shifted to pull your clothes back on. she watched you, unable to pull her gaze away. she wanted more. she wanted you in a way that nobody else got to have. but instead, she's left wondering if you're doing this with other people as well. she doesn't want to assume, and she'd never think lowly of you, but- well, she can't ask. you always shut her down when she asks personal things.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and then, without another word, you grabbed your things and left, shutting the door softly behind you. though you made sure to peek your head out the door before exiting, making sure nobody saw you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆this, too, quickly became a habit.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you two definitely still had your usual rendezvous throughout the day. but when the sun set, you'd sometimes sneak to her dorm. ellie wouldn't know when you were coming, having to always keep her journal hidden in case you came knocking.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆as ellie lies you down in her bed night after night, she comes to realize that she likes this a lot. she kinda enjoys the way she doesn't know how you feel. your lives are kept private, separated so that nobody else on campus has a clue that you two even know each other.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but she knows. and you know. and that's all she truly cares for. yes, she wants more. she wants to kiss you and mean it, she wants to pull you into her arms, she wants to laugh with you. but if this is all she gets, she's grateful.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆one day, a few months after your first visit to her dorm, the atmosphere felt off to you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you entered her dorm without knocking, that sense of unfamiliarity long having been abandoned. you walked in, seeing ellie laid back in her bed on her phone. she glanced up, heart instantly stuttering in her chest. you locked the door and walked toward her. you got onto the bed, crawling up the length of her body.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she tossed her phone aside, hands coming to your hips.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slipped her hands under your shirt, caressing the skin of your stomach. you let out a soft sigh, reaching down to pull your shirt over your head. she stared at you, eyes pinned to your chest. you leaned down, kissing the column of her throat, leaving light bruises across her skin. she tipped her head back, her hands coming to cup your breasts.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you rolled your hips, grinding down on her as you sought out friction. she lifted her leg, thigh wedging between yours. you continued to hump her, your hands on her shoulders as you held yourself up.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she held you by your hips, fingers inching down toward your waistband. you didn't stop your movement, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as your clit rubbed against her jeans.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she slowly began to unbutton your pants. the ease of which she does it makes you a bit uneasy.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆see, when you two usually fucked, i was just lust and sex and nothing more than mere physical attraction. she normally tore your clothes off, needy and desperate. but she was taking her time today, eyes scanning your body as she undid your pants at a slow pace.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she'd done this a few times before, acting weirdly intimate with you. though, whenever you point it out, she's quick to put an end to it. you hope she does the same this time.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you paused, chest heaving as you shot her a look. she paused as well, looking up to meet your gaze.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"what're you doing?" "what do you mean?" "you're being all sensual again. we're not girlfriends, ellie, quit it."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she frowned, face contorting into a displeased expression that you'd never seen her wear before. well, it'd never been directed at you at least. she'd always been so patient with you. and yet.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆ "well fucking excuse me. y'know, sometimes i want to be treated like a person too, not just your goddamn fuck buddy. i have feelings."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"fuck buddy is what we agreed on." you pointed out, moving off of her lap. you sat across from her on the bed, glaring. "is it? because i don't remember being asked my opinion on all of this."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you scoffed, "okay what is your problem? why are you acting like this?"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"am i not allowed to voice how i feel? you tell me what to feel all the fucking time, but as soon as i show an ounce of distaste, i'm the bad guy?" "i never said you're the bad guy. i'm just asking where all this is coming from. you've never spoken out about this until now."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"does it fucking matter where it's coming from? it's how i feel, you should respect-"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was interrupted by the sound of keys rattling the door. she cursed under her breath, pointing toward the closet. you hopped off the bed and hid yourself in the closet before shutting the door as softly as possible.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you watched through the cracks as a woman entered, black hair tied into a ponytail. she walked over to the desk between the beds and opened the left drawer. ellie spoke to her shortly, sounding impatient as she asked the woman what she was doing here. the woman laughed in ellie's face, reminding her that it's her dorm too. ellie scoffed, though it was clearly all playful. you remembered that ellie briefly mentioned the woman who stayed here with her. dina.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆the drawer dina was digging through had been piled with papers and books. she reached into the far back, grabbing a set of keys from it.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆dina gave ellie a quick farewell before turning on her heel and heading toward the door, casting a wink at the closet door you're hidden behind. though, before you had a moment to process what that meant, she was gone and ellie was opening the door to let you out.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you crossed your arms over your chest, looking at ellie expectantly.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she was allowed to have feeling; of course she was. but for her to keep them bundled up for almost a year, only to release them on a random fucking tuesday? that was the issue.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"i've had a horrible fucking day, alright? and i just⎯ for once, i wanted something more intimate from you than just fucking." "what could possibly be more intimate than fucking?" "not physical intimacy. i mean, like, emotional intimacy. shit that means something. was hoping you'd come over today, sure, but not because i wanted to just fuck you and leave. i wanted someone to talk to."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆you frowned, a sudden bile of guilt forming in your chest. you knew this was coming. you knew it from the moment you met ellie and saw the way she blushed when she approached you.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you weren't wanting a relationship at the time. you just wanted someone to fuck at some random party. and she was so good at it that you saw her and instantly wanted sex. just being near her turned you on. and it was only on a physical level. or so you thought.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆though, if you were being completely honest, you couldn't deny that you'd thought of becoming something more with her. you'd thought of her when trying to fall asleep; thought of her comforting you when you were upset; imagined kissing her more passionately, just wondering what it'd be like.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆but you'd been so tangled up in this lie that just imagining something more with ellie seems impossible. even if you know it could totally happen.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." was all you said.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she raised a brow, confused by your short answer. "okay what?"

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"okay." you repeated. "we can try to be more than fuck buddies, as you call it."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆her brows shot up instantly, unable to process what you were saying. she blinked a few times, staring at you as she waited for you to laugh at her and say it was a joke. but you didn't. instead, you held her gaze and watched her with a heaviness she wasn't used to. like you were seeing her. yo were actually seeing her.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆"you're serious?" "oh, c'mon. i wouldn't lie about something like this. i'm not a fucking monster."

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆she instantly rushed forward, pulling you into a hug. you laughed, hugging her back. she peppered kisses across your face before finally landing one on your lips. it felt different, like this. ellie was right, you suppose, emotional intimacy was far better than mere physical attraction.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆┆and, as it turned out, while there's a decent amount of dirtiness to ellie, there's nothing little nor secretive about her. so there goes your futile attempt at a dirty little secret, now made into something far more precious.

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[isa-ghost]

ok

*insert coin*

Can I ask for q!Phil hcs BUT when he's fully un Bird mode :D

Jokes on you that's easy, those are just more plain qPhil hcs for me >:D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Sometimes if he's in a fight that he's not taking seriously he'll put some goofy ass music on in his headphones. Some favorites include the Mario invincibility star theme, Waltz of the Meatball Man, and the kind of bubbly anime ending music that plays over an emotionally devastating scene

After way too much stress, once he gets Chayanne & Lullah to bed and is on his own he'll go somewhere and just. Scream. For as long as it takes. And then he chugs tea or noodle broth to prevent his throat from dying on him.

Sleep schedules his beloathed <- wants to spend more time with a bunch of islanders he doesn't get to see often

Out of the 3 polycule members, Fit is best at cheering him up. He knows Phil best and the extent to which he lacks a filter sometimes is too powerful for Phil not to at least smile at

His wheeze laugh is the best thing ever to the the kids. If the two of them can make him wheeze, they know they've done their job right.

As soon as he knows something is safe (the maze, an event site like the code builds, that new mountain at old Spawn, etc) he's the first one to start exploring. He's been that way as long as he can remember ;)

*Slaps top of his head* This old man can fit so much survivor's guilt in him

He's only old in age and wisdom, if you try to imply he's geriatric he will get SO out of pocket about the things he's done with Fit & Etoiles and you will regret it

Okay so I've talked about how his worst fear is not having control, especially of himself. And I've talked about other fears of his, but I don't think I've mentioned his fear of loss yet. He tries to pretend he isn't, he'll insist he isn't, and to some degree he isn't Entirely wrong, but he is afraid. Being as old as he is means you get a bit desensitized to loss because it's natural when the things and people around you don't live for as long as you do. The part of it Phil fears, or maybe hates is a better word, is all the emotional turmoil after. That bone-deep ache of grief, the heaviness that refuses to leave his chest, how easy it is to emotionally compromise him, the hollowness that consumes him. The way he can't think or sleep properly, how his motivation is completely wiped out, how embarrassing it feels to not be at 100% in front of people. He HATES the aftermath of it all.

Excursions, Shuniji, and ofc Weirdest Year by C418 are Phil grief songs, in this essay I will

The Federation has learned that if they want Phil to attend an event he isn't particularly interested in, all they have to do is have really good food there, especially Latino food

He does legitimately gag a little when he kills a mob and flies or maggots come out of it. That's not just drama, he fr is like 🤢. It reminds him of the first time he saw Ender King's corpse

A fraction of the reason why he has people he trusts very deeply, like Fit, whitelisted on his security stuff is bc he knows if he ever got too depressed (like when the kids were missing), he'd never leave the house and just bum around feeling awful despite being restless. Having them whitelisted means they can get in and force him to get some air and stop festering in his emotions.

See I could get into a whole analysis abt this but like. So many of my angst hcs for him are abt how he's kinda shit at taking care of himself, esp when the people he cares for the most are removed from the equation. But it's not that he's incapable of it, he's not a baby or something like that. It's another part of how he's so locked into being the caretaker, the protector, the Strong One, the wise one, etc etc etc that he Hates being in the reversed role. He's gone so long without it that now it's foreign and unpleasant to him. He feels weak & like a burden. But at the same time, going so long without being in the reversed role is unhealthy and he NEEDS to be the one taken care of or protected sometimes. Everyone does. It's a double-edged sword: be the caretaker, shoulder everything & suffer OR be the one taken care of, feel awful about it for one reason or another. He can't win. He hates the latter but he needs it occasionally just like anyone else. He prefers the former, but the toll it takes over time is extensive.

It's why he'll do little things in an attempt to remedy it. To avoid being full-on taken care of for once while also not Only doing the reverse. Watching the sunset with the kids, adventuring in new and exciting places, sparring with friends, etc. His escape is making vivid fond memories to look back on and smile about, even if they don't always fix his emotional state. At least he isn't fully neglecting himself.

[millimononym]

TAG GAME!!!

tagged by @cerisia76 thank u 4 the tag!! I didn't know who i should tag so I'm just gonna be answering this one

3 ships:

this is gonna be hard I'm in so many fandoms lol I'm gonna try to be diverse. Also this is super long

1. Eritav (Homestuck)

OUGHHH where do i start with these 2. Ok so tavros is my fave troll so naturally during the period i was reading Homestuck a lot i stared having dreams about him. And for some reason one time Eridan was also there so i was intrigued and looked into their ship tag on AO3 and found the best fic ever with like the best characterization, writing etc... Before i literally didn't give 2 shits about eridan but it made me love his character as well. It's called "Black sails, Black romance" by mtjester and it's about Tavros and Eridan developing a kismesissitude(which is basically hate love, for those that don't read hs). The reason i put a pic of them down there as moirails is because i can honestly see them in any quadrant, despite them never talking in canon.

For moirallegiance, i feel like it would start out rocky but eventually develop into something better. Tavros would actually be allowed to speak his mind and develop more confidence since i dont think Eridan would shut him down constantly like Vriska, as Eridan is desperate for his quadrants to actually work. And Eridan would obviously benefit from having someone to keep his ass in line.

I can see them developing into matesprits later from that as well.

And as for kismesissitude, well it's already getting too long and i already gave a fic rec for it.

image by urfavsarequadranted

2. Toxic4Toxic/Socket/Rocket x Sinedd whatever they're called (Galactik football)

Must i say anything. They give each other undiscovered mental illnesses and are horrible for each other and i love that for them. Rocket is my favorite character and so his arc in season 2 was most interesting to me, which includes his relationship with Sinedd. I feel like they could have done more with them in s2, but i already made a post about that.

3. Hinadam (Super Danganronpa 2)

AHHHH THEM. Contender for fave rarepair of all time and fave Danganronpa ship overall. Best fics on ao3. 0 fandom toxicity surrounding them. Should be shipped more than k0mahina. Is more canon than k0mahina(I'm gonna get torn apart for this opinion but idc!!!)

like the entire freetime events with Gundham ends with him letting Hajime hold his hand, which he never let ANYONE do due to his touch aversion. He never develops a relationship this strong with anyone, not even Sonia who is his friend in the game. Hajime is the only person he feels safe and comfortable letting down his walls with due to Hajime's genuine effort to understand him better and be his friend. It's genuinely touching to me idkk i think i cried a bit first time i saw it. I'm not going to go into spoilers but good god man...the chapter ....if you know you know

and also in the island mode ending, Gundham asks Hajime if he wants to live a quiet life with himself and his animals. How is this not shipped more they're literally so in love it's not even funny

And NO i do not ship it because gundham is the best character and Hajime is the character i relate to most. but that could be part of it

IDK who made this artwork I'm sorry

Last song:

Okay it's technically not these ones but its the ones i remember listening to most lately. It's rainbow factory and Terrible Things. Fun fact a childhood song of mine called Erase The Underground (undertale fansong) just. Straight up used rainboe factory's music and i never knew so when i listened to RF i got the biggest jumpscare of my LIFE

Last movie:

The last movie i remember watching fully was Howl's moving Castle bcz my sister forced me and i enjoyed it even though it's not one of my favorite ghibli movies or anything. It was cool

Currently reading:

Still reading Watership down! (I have no time for anything lately otherwise i would have finished it) and if Manga counts I've also started reading NANA !! and i love it tbh my favorite thing is the fashion i could feel myself getting more cultured while reading it i think

Currently watching:

There's nothing im really focused on atm but i have a list on my pinned. The big ones i would say are Adventure Time and MAR (for nostalgia purposes). I'm also watching the justice league cartoon but tbh I don't really enjoy it that much despite people saying it's great. It just doesn't hit the same heights as BTAS or have as enjoyable of a superhero team as LOSH 2006. To me. But idk maybe it gets better later

Currently drinking: waterrrrrr baby

Currently craving: school to end to end tbhhhh

[burrowingbear]

Famous Zen teacher Alan Watts is laughing at me from beyond the grave right now, like 'I told you so'.

OK so I've played about a million hours of Minecraft but because I always used to play on peaceful mode (no monsters, or materials that come from monsters), I've never finished it and I've never been to The End. But then that post went round about the End Poem being put in the public domain. I started reading the poem itself (I knew bits and pieces of it and knew it was exactly the sort of cosmic weirdshit I like but had never seen the whole thing) and realised I wanted to see it for the first time in its proper context, having just won the game. I fired up a new survival world with the intention of being extremely focused. Fight things! Collect stuff that advances the plot! Slay the dragon! Rather than just noodling around building stuff and making maps like I usually do. I'd seen speedrunners do it, I knew what steps I had to take.

There's a song I love with a sample from Alan Watts in it that goes, 'We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead.'

And so (with a Sensible Chuckle) I named the world 'success or whatever it is'.

Now look at this shit. This is part of my ever-growing to-do list. (DON'T @ ME I HAVE NO WORKING MEMORY AND IT'S LESS FUN WITHOUT A LIST, STRUGGLING TO KEEP ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO DO FROM FALLING OUT OF MY BRAIN)

The next bit of the sample is 'But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or dance while the music was being played.'

Shut up Alan how dare you.

I'm having a lovely time.

[spicy--meatball]

ranking 550+ music genres: PART 9

oh god i forgot alt rock was a thing.

(25) Alternative Rock

This is where I'm getting tomato'd probably... this shit mid. And guess what, this is another genre that happens to place a lot of importance in lyrics, at least as far as I can tell. This is what all the kids are bumpin these dayz. Mid mid mid. It is a little bit interesting that this is a genre that both plenty of straights and plenty of gays listen to regularly. I think the joining factor has to be self loathing. I have depression too but not like This.

This is going in "No, I don't think I will" because I don't care anymore and I don't care to hear more of this. Goodbye.

Alternative Rock song rec

(26) Ambient House

yippee yippee yippee yippeee

Aphex Twin Time

Bump ts while I'm sorting through our disaster of a soda cooler at work. This music is colorful and curious and blobby. Unlike the previous genre this sparks a sense of wonder. Everything is squiggly and at peace. This is a pretty recent genre I've taken a liking to. I can ignore the world and retreat into my mind. So much creative potential.

To be honest, I haven't really dove deep into this genre, I have mostly been on the outskirts. But I am more than willing to dive deeper. Almost every song is intriguing and interesting to me. I can picture a variety of different shapes for each song. This genre is also weirdly nostalgic, despite having never been familiar with ambient house as a kid. This is good music to study to but also good music to just listen to on its own I think. Each song is a new, entirely foreign and conceptual environment to explore.

I can virtually guarantee a vast majority of people would put alt rock above ambient house. Maybe one of you will enjoy my takes.

My friends and enemies, this is our second "🗣️️‍🔥️‍🔥".

Ambient House song recs

(27) Ambient

Now, this is a genre that I used to listen to a lot since I used to write and draw a hell of a lot more. [Post-writing-this-post-edit: it wasn't ambient but dark ambient, usually].

The "ambient" I'm finding on spotify is a little more... socially acceptable than the ambient I used to listen to? As in, there's a little more substance to these songs than the hours of droning and occasional other song elements that would interrupt that I was accustomed to. Like I was on that "2 Hours of Dark Ambient Music Compilation" on youtube type shit (now that I'm listening to ambient vs dark ambient, what I just described is closer to dark ambient than ambient).

Obviously, somber movie scene type shit. It's simple in composition usually but leaves you with a lot to think about. The world is large and you will never know everything but you can learn a lot in one lifetime. Go learn things. It's ok to make mistakes. That's something I need to drill into my head. Make sure your loved ones know how much you appreciate them. Time is fickle. Do something nice for someone this week. You are more than you can ever know. Be at peace brotha.

This is going in "In the right time and place, fuck yeah" because sometimes you need this type of shit, idk. But this is not something I would listen to regularly or throw on the aux, ykwim?

Ambient song recs

hmmm... the current tierlist perhaps. if youre pissy about my opinions you can garbage react me or something idk

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

ever since P5's release I noticed that you've been bitter about the Persona franchise. You find things to hate about something even when its supposed to be a non-issue.

Case in point, Reload.

I get that you have a preferred artstyle.

It would seem like Reload can do nothing right.

I'm just wondering where did the persona-loving person go?

*looks at the ask about the Art style I got the other day* Weird, I didn't publish this yet tho TT0TT (I didn't get far into answering it cause I wanted to actually see if I can analyze the different art styles between Soejima and....who ever did the new P3R art.... but I didn't have time at that moment so that ask is in my drafts right now).

So I uhhhh haven't.....bitched about the art style in a minute..... u_u Tbh, I thought my last two posts were 1) showing excitement over Persona (a mod but still) and 2) upset Wada is just acting like a broken record and stirring shit up with the fandom again (We get it just stop bringing FeMC up if you aren't gonna put her in! TT0TT You're just being mean now!)

But if you want something positive: I think P3R's Answer might be the improvement we've been needing! :D (I just hate it's DLC (ʘ‿ʘ)). But ignoring the DLC aspect, it looks like they are seeing its original shortcomings and are trying to improve on it. It looks like they're adding more content so it's not as empty too. (now are the character episodes going to be good? No idea. I saw Yukari looking not pissed as fuck cause Aigis is breathing the same air as her so I'm side eyeing it a bit. jaksldfjka But we'll see. On the brightside....at least that stuff is optional, so you can avoid it if you don't like it). Plus I'm getting more Metis (baby girl you're back home! TT0TT I'm so happy!). And the new song "Don't" (?) sounds interesting, I liked the line "Don't you make me do this" cause jaskjfd context of the story.....sounds heartbreaking~! :'D

Ok onto the other stuff:

Tbh I haven't played P3R in so long that I forgot there was an art style change and that I hated it. akslfdjkalfjkaljflaj I'm living in delulu land atm.

(that or I'm letting myself be slowly exposed to it again. Like you would a cat to another cat, by putting food next to a closed door. The food being the FeMC mod fkldjaskfsa half joking. Tbh, just seeing screenshots on twitter is exposure therapy I guess, and I mean the actual game not the mod).

I could take an art style I don't care about if they'd just given me the bare minimum which is......a full P3 game.  (ʘ‿ʘ) No extra content, just.....frakenstein the damn games together, I am asking for the barest of bare minimum. Don't even need two answers, re-record a few lines and change the pronoun to gender neutral, and then replace the P3MC model with the FeMC model during 3D cutscenes, and then just........don't include 2D cutscenes that shows the MaleMC (there you save on 2D cutscene budget too). Only thing you have to worry about is a model swap and some voicelines. I think that's do-able for a big company. (and by model I mean crusty PS2/PSP models, I'm not even asking for them to use P3D/P3R stuff....I legit mean it when I say frakenstein the PS2/PSP vers, bare minimum).

I think I'm more upset with how the 3D environment (and UI) looks than the 2D art if I'm being honest. That I'm having a hard time adapting to tbh.

As for "since P5"....I mean...yeah.... It's hard....to stay fun loving when you hate P5.....and they keep making P5 stuff. TT0TT (RiP to the P4, and possibly P3, haters back during the P4 era. I get it u_u)

It doesn't help that the company has gone full "let's fuck the customers" mode since P4Arena (tho imo P4D is when the signs of it getting REALLY rough started to show). And they've just escalated their shitty DLC practices since. ("EA is worse" damn yeah they suck too, good thing I can hate both practices at once!) "It's Sega's fault not Atlus'!" I don't really care, I can be upset with both. "But Atlus said it's Sega's fault!" oh no the corp is gonna have big dad corp take the moral hit. Whatever shall they do? Nothing they say will look good tbh, they have to accept that. (aka they could be telling the truth, or they could be playing us. I'll only trust them a little if their shotty practices change :/)

I really mean it when I say the DLC practices have been really getting to me.

Which is why I'm taking a break and hunkering down until something interesting (by which I mean: new game/IP announced) happens in the fandom.

[kickinganddriving]

PLEASE A PRT 2 https://at.tumblr.com/dinonuggiesforliferz/somebody-else/hqhov7fgc4iu

Somebody Else pt. 2

Notes: Your wish is my command 🤠, this ain't a song fic, its a regular fic, also i don’t write smut, but if anyone wants to wrote the smut scene for this go for it!

Parings: Christian Pulisic x Fem reader

Warnings: mentions of sex, swearing

Word count: 1k

Pt. 1

"Oh shit"

"I forgot he was coming over" You say in a panicked state.

"Who is coming over?" Christian says confused as ever.

"Sam"

"Fucking Sam" You both hear another knock at the door.

"Hey honey, let me in before the pizza gets cold"

"Shit, Christian, hide somewhere I have to go get the door" You say scrambling, trying to make sure that there is no evidence of Christian being here. You run up to the door and open it, faking a smile as you greet Sam.

"Hi Sam"

"Hey, where do you want me the put the pizza" He says as he greets you with a peck on the cheek

"On the counter is fine" He walks over and places the cardboard box on the counter before he looks down and notices a large grease stain on his shirt.

"Hey, I'm going to go and grab one of my extra shirts from your closet." Suddenly your brain goes into panic mode, you have no idea where Christian is hiding in your room, for all we know he could be in said closet.

"It's fine I can grab you one" You blurb out in hopes of trying to save yourself and Christian.

"No it's fine, you settle down and put on the movie"  At this point he is already in your room and is walking to your closet, you run behind him and as he opens the door you hear.

"Hey jellybean, you have a very nice dress collection" Christian says in hopes of saving himself. Sam turns around to face you as Christian mouths an "I'm Sorry". All the shit has definitely hit the ceiling fan.

“Can you explain why there is a drenched soccer player in your closet?” Sam confusingly says.

“I think i’m going to head out” Christian awkwardly announces trying to give you and Sam some privacy.

“Ok” you whisper.

“I’ll come back later” Christian whispers in your ear as he passes by you.

When you hear the door close, you expect Sam to blow up at you, but instead you were met with uncomfortable silence. “It’s not what you think it is,” you squeak.

“Really it isn’t?” He scoffs.

“Me and Christian used to date, but we broke up around a year ago, well, he broke up with me so I could move back to the U.S, and I guess we both never got to get over each other. So when I saw him the other night something happened.”

“So you’re not over your ex, is that what this is. You were just half-heartedly leading me on”

“I’m sorry” You whisper.

“Sorry’s not enough, but go to him if you want because we are over.” Sam turned around to grab his extra clothes from your closet, and went to grab his coat as he stormed out of your apartment. There wasn’t even any time for you to say anything. All you could do was sit on the floor of your kitchen in silence, that was until you heard the doorbell ring again. 

“It’s open” you dreadfully say.

“You know you should really keep your doors locked, I could have been a murderer” you hear as you see a familiar face walking through the door.

“I wouldn’t mind being murdered right now” you glumly say.

“I surely would mind” Chris says while acting offended.

“Can you get me the blanket that's on the sofa” you request.

“Sitting on the kitchen floor with a blanket? Well I haven’t seen that in 3 years, and I take it the break up didn’t go as planned?” He says as he picks up the blanket and brings it over to you.

“It didn’t” you muffle into the blanket as he drops it on you and joins you on the floor.

“Well at least you’ll never see him again”

“We work in the same building” You muffle again, but this time in his shoulder.

“Well that's rough, can I kiss you again?”

“What?” you say in confusion.

“Oh, i'm sorry I shouldn’t have asked this soon.” He says shamefully.

“No, you idiot, you should have just kissed me.” Once it registers in his head, Christian immediately pulls you on his lap and his lips meet yours. You stay in this position, your body moving perfectly with his. Until, he pulls away and is met with your angry face.

“Jellybean, it’s been a year since we fucked, and we aren’t doing it on the kitchen floor” he says as you rool off of him with a moan. He pulls you to stand up, after you are up he immediately lifts you up and princess carries you to your room.

“Im going to fuck you properly until you can’t walk, ok?” He says proudly as you reach the door frame of your room.

“Sign me the fuck up”

.  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .

It was the next morning, and you woke up in a way that felt so familiar, your head way lying on his chest, as you could hear his heartbeat, a sound that you have memorized. You felt a little squeeze as Christian nuzzled his nose in your hair. You made sure not to say a word or move an inch, not wanting to wake him up. You hear him yawn so you move your head up to look at him.

“Good Morning Jellybean” Christian sleepily says.

“Good Morning Chris” You respond

“I missed waking up like this," he says while leaning in to kiss your forehead.

“You most certainly did not miss this morning's breath, I need to go brush.” You say trying to roll off the bed, but then you realized you were completely naked. “Babe, are my clothes on your side?”

“Yep.” He says as he looks over the edge of the bed. You roll over Christian to grab your clothes but you're met with an unexpected guest. “I guess my friend also missed you”

“Even though I just saw him?”

“He needs to make up for time lost” Christian says, pulling you up to give you a kiss.

“I missed you”

-xoxo Gossip Girl

[ptergwen]

hi val can you maybe write something about the reader being dared to kiss peter/tom/arvin (you choose) since her friends knew that she has a big crush on him, but once she did he seems disinterested after which makes her sad, but what she doesn't know was after she kissed him, he practically runs to his friends freaking out that the girl he's had his eyes on this whole time just kissed him??

kiss and tell

w/c: 1.8k

warnings: like one swear and awkwardness

a/n: yeeee i went with peter! this is adorable :,)

“i can’t!” you scold betty and her annoying smirk. you’re bored at lunch, so liz suggested the three of you play truth or dare. you’d made the mistake of choosing dare. in your defense, betty is the nosiest person in all of midtown, so you thought you were dodging the bullet and guarding your deep dark secrets. how could you have known she’d make you do... this?

“that’s so, like, forward. he’s gonna freak out.” you glance over at peter’s table to see what he’s up to before you possibly scar him. he’s laughing along at a heated conversation ned and mj are having. the way his face lights up, and his eyes crinkle as a smile crosses his features, it gives you butterflies throughout your whole body.

“in a good way,” liz grins her most charming grin at you. it’s not working this time. you roll your eyes up to the ceiling. “i thought you liked him,” betty huffs, gesturing over to peter and keeping her eyes on you. “all you do is talk about how he’s so cute and smart, and his lips look so soft-“ “i never said that!” you look at her with wild eyes. liz bites her lip to hold in a laugh. “the last part, i mean,” you clarify in a murmur.

liz puts a hand on you and pats your shoulder knowingly. “you’ve probably thought it, though. i’ve seen you checking them out.” there have been quite a few times your gaze has landed on peter’s lips, watching them curve while he talks to you about some new science theory he’s excited to share. you end up zoning out and pretending you retained any of what he said. betty puckers her own lips at you.

“you wanna kiss him,” she insists in a sing song voice, resting her chin on your other shoulder. “i’m doing you a favor.” “you’re really not gonna change the dare?” you sigh, your friends leaning on you in support. liz taps your cheek. “so, you don’t wanna kiss him?” “there’s no way,” betty comments from your side. “no, i...” you start, focusing in on peter again.

he meets your eyes across the cafeteria. his smile fades slightly, then a shy one is replacing it, ned dragging him into his and mj’s debate. you turn back to liz and betty.

“i do, but do you think he wants me to?” you ask them both, and they share a you have to be kidding look. “only one way to find out.” liz gives your shoulder a nudge. betty beams at you. “i triple dog dare you now, so you have to.” considering your options, you bounce your leg up and down. you’ll either get the nicest rejection ever from peter or a kiss back. you can handle this.

“ok, i’ll do it,” you decide, betty clapping her hands and squealing. liz throws an arm around your neck. “yay! i love love.” “let’s calm down,” you giggle so she doesn’t get too carried away. you and peter haven’t even established that you like each other. “i’m calm, i’m calm. do you need to borrow chapstick?” she offers, betty simultaneously pulling a tube out of her purse. “or lip gloss?”

you’re appreciating their over involvement now.

“both,” you breathe out, letting them get you ready for your big kiss.

liz and betty send you good luck wishes in a hushed tone while you make your way to peter’s table. mj went to get a snapple, and ned went with her so they could continue whatever argument they’re in. that left peter by himself. it’s almost like this is meant to happen.

“hi,” you greet peter, making him look up at you with raised eyebrows. he notices right away that your lips are shiny, more so than usual. a color that you always seem to bring to his face takes over his cheeks. “hey. you wanna sit?” he gives you a small smile. you return it. “yeah, sure. thanks.” instead of taking the bench across from him like he assumed you would, you find your place next to him.

he doesn’t mind.

“how’s your day been?” you wonder, body turned towards him while he answers. peter scrunches his nose. “kinda busy. i got so much homework in spanish tonight, and i’ve been putting off this essay about...” you do the thing you do every time he goes off on a sort of tangent, watch his lips. lucky for you, that’s the whole point today. “i don’t know. all i have so far is the intro-“

you cut peter off with a kiss. liz and betty cheer to each other the second it happens. peter doesn’t move, only freezes up as you press your glossy lips to his and grab his shoulders. it takes a few seconds for you to realize he’s not kissing back. his arms are stiff at his sides, eyes wide in shock. absolutely humiliated, you pull back, moving as far away as you can.

“fuck, i’m sorry. i should’ve asked you first,” you apologize, voice shaking. you’re already getting to your feet. peter blinks a few times, grounding himself back in the moment. “no, no. it’s okay. i-“ “that was weird, i know. you don’t have to lie or make me feel better.” he furrows his eyebrows, in a way that seems regretful even though you’re the one who messed up. “i’m trying to tell you, y/n. it’s fine. we-“

ned’s voice fills the room, making you snap your head in his direction. him and mj are coming back. you need to get out of here before you embarrass yourself even more.

“i’m gonna go. i’m sorry,” you mumble out, running back to your table, where liz and betty are instantly asking what’s wrong and if you’re alright. peter licks his lips that are now coated in your gloss and clenches his jaw. he’s pissed. not at you, at himself. it’s clear because mj brings attention to it when she sits down.

“what’s up with your face?” she narrows her eyes at him, popping the cap on her snapple. ned elbows peter in his spot next to him. you were just there less than a minute ago. “you okay, dude?” he checks. “no.” peter closes his eyes in frustration. “what’s wrong?” ned kicks mj’s foot under the table so she’ll stop making out with her drink and help him.

“i... y/n kissed me,” peter admits, sounding oddly upset about something everyone knows he’s been hoping would happen. “she what?” ned gawks. “isn’t that a good thing?” mj points out. “you love her.” “like her,” peter corrects and chews the inside of his cheek. “whatever. shouldn’t you want her to kiss you?” she takes another sip of snapple, passing this off to ned.

“yeah...” is all ned says. he awkwardly rubs peter’s back while mj tries not to snort. “that’s not the problem. i didn’t kiss her back, and she took it as me not being into it,” peter shakes his head as he recounts your weird moment. “which i was,” he tells them for the record. ned makes a funny face at him. “so why didn’t you kiss back?” “no shit she ran away,” mj mutters to him. she saw that part.

“because i wasn’t expecting it!” peter frowns at his friends’ reactions and at what he did. “you guys know how much i like y/n. i can’t believe i screwed this up so bad.” mj squints in mock confusion. “i can.” she quickly drops her sarcasm for encouragement after that. “ok, seriously. just go find her and apologize.” “maybe kiss her this time,” ned chimes in.

“if she really likes you, she’ll get it.” mj smiles genuinely, nodding back at your table. ned gives him a push forward. “you got this, dude. come tell us all about it after.” a rush of confidence enters peter from their advice. he’ll fix this. “thanks, guys. here i go.” he shoots up from the table, ned and mj getting back into their debate once he’s out of sight.

betty is hugging you way too tightly when peter gets over there. she goes on about how much peter sucks, overcompensating because she’s the reason you kissed him. you only hum in response. you don’t have the heart to tell her you blame yourself. only liz notices peter come over, so she talks on your behalf. “oh, hey,” she says drily. “hey. can i talk to y/n?” peter gets out, twiddling with his thumbs nervously.

she has to decide if she’d rather go into protective friend mode or let him. from your unenthusiastic responses to betty’s hate rant, she figures you’d like to hear him out.

“come on, betty,” liz takes her arm suddenly, betty trying to pull it back. “what? why?” “i’m gonna buy you ice cream. let’s go.” that’s her cover. peter shoots her a look that says thank you, liz pressing her lips into a line and dragging betty along. betty sees peter standing in front of your table and glares at him, liz walking faster. you don’t get the chance to ask them where they’re going because they leave so fast.

the bench dips down on one side of you, making someone’s prescense known. you’re surprised to find it’s peter. you talk first.

“if you’re gonna apologize, don’t. it was my fault-“ “you never let me finish earlier,” peter interrupts, the hint of a smile on his face. his clammy hand links with one of yours. “what were you gonna say?” you ask quietly, peter threading your fingers together. your heart is racing at the simple touch. “that i like you,” he replies at the same low volume. “and, that i wanted to try again.”

he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you realized. you welcome it, your hands in between you two on the bench. “i like you too... try what again?” you question, although you hope and pray it’s what you think. “kissing,” peter says what you were hoping and praying for. “wasn’t ready the first time.” you’re about to go into cardiac arrest as he rests his forehead on yours, curls brushing your face. a few broken up breaths escape him.

“can i?” he nearly whispers, warm hand still gripping at yours. “yeah,” you agree before your eyes flutter shut. he wastes no time, parting his lips and brushing them against yours gently, you reciprocating. he kisses as sweetly as he is, his free hand on your cheek and fingers careessing your skin. your other hand ends up on the back of his neck. you grin against him, lips detaching momentarily so you can engage him in another kiss.

peter doesn’t hesitate to kiss back this time, nose nudging yours as he moves in more. you tug on some hair at the nape of his neck and laugh into the kiss, reminding him you’re in school. he pulls back with a chuckle, but keeps his forehead on yours and your hands in each other.

“sorry. got too excited,” he laughs out, you leaning into his open palm. “i told you don’t apologize.”

liz and betty joined ned and mj at some point. the four of them are whistling at you and yelling out suggestive jokes. they’re too much. but, to be fair, you owe this all to them.

[phantastus]

Yo, if you're doing the character bingo, I gotta ask about Heather Mason

SLAMS STACKS OF NOTES DOWN ON THE DESK (jk i do not have the energy to go into full sicko mode tonite, but you know how it is).

"Everyone but me is wrong about them". I have seen some truly incomprehensible fanon about Heather throughout my years on the internet and it has resulted in me becoming incapable of being normal about her. I do my best to suppress this because despite the frothing beast within going BARKBARKBARKBARK I genuinely do want everyone to get to enjoy Heather and SH3 in each of their own respective ways. Unless you are a cishet man drawing her with giant balloon tits. I'm going to maul you like a wild chimpanzee.

"I'm obsessed with their character arc". TROUBLED YOUTH PLAGUED BY HARROWING CIRCUMSTANCES NAVIGATES MYSTERIOUS OTHERWORLD, DISCOVERS SHE IS ACTUALLY A CREATURE OF TERRIFYING POWER AND POTENTIAL, CONFRONTS PAST TRAUMA, PROVES "NURTURE" OVER "NATURE", AND SAVES THE WORLD BY FIGHTING GOD??? sign me the FUCK up 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯  i say so 💯  thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

"They got done dirty by the fans". See former note about cishet men deciding that the scrappy tomboy teenager would look much better with a real set of badonkers. Bonkhonagahoogs. Humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous. I'm going to turn into an extra from the Walking Dead and chew some skulls open.

"ADOPTION PAPERS". BABIE.... BABY GIRL...............

"I am rotating them like a fork in the microwave". See former note about me not having the capability to be normal about Heather Mason. I have been doing this for over a decade and my interpretation has only ever gotten more deranged.

"The popular ships for this character suck". Honestly I don't think there actually ARE popular ships within canon for Heather anymore??? WHICH IS GOOD HONESTLY I'm all for shipping Heather but for awhile there was a lot of Heather/Douglas and Heather/Vincent and even (puking in my mouth) HEATHER/HARRY around and let me tell u I did not care for that ONE BIT. One of the things I really like about SH3 is that the closest thing to a canon romance for its female lead is the tragic childhood bond between Heather/Alessa and Claudia. For actual SHIP ships, I will stick to putting her in ridiculous crosscanon RP ships with anime villains and also Laura Palmer.

"constantly listening to songs/holding them up like paint swatches". I have Heather songs coming out of my freaking ears please listen to them: "Black Dahlia" (Angel Haze), "God's Got Nothing On You", (Thea Gilmore), "Little Secrets" (Passion Pit), "Invincible" (OK Go), "Fear of Fireflies" (Calla), "A Better Son/Daughter" (Rilo Kiley), "Rejoice" (AJJ), "Forces of the Unseen" (Cloud Cult), "Black Eyes" (Radical Face), "Shake it Out" (Florence and the Machine), and of course that classic "Welcome to the Black Parade" (My Chemical Romance). And because I'm a fucking nerd, go ahead and also have the two songs I picked out as her main themes from the two most prominent RPGs I've played her in the past fuckifIknowhowmany years: "Inferno" (Promare OST) for the slice of life Pokemon game, "The Crow" (Dessa) for the monster-horror game where she got turned into a cannibal bird thing.

"what's wrong with them (affectionate)". [slaps top of Heather's scruffy dandelion head] this baby can hold so many issues.

"not enough screentime". More Heather is always the answer. There should be an optional setting for all SH games where there's just a live Heather reaction cam in the corner the whole time.

"My opinions would be received with wasps". I mean I am always on some level assuming that everyone around me is responding to my stronger opinions with that one photo of white girls holding solo cups and judging the viewer. AND PERHAPS THEY ARE RIGHT TO.

"The best character in the work". I mean. I am pretty biased.

[volfoss]

ummm okay. gay kevin. idk shit abt persona so ur fave and least fave (maybe a side from creep weirdo adults actually I know Enough abt persona. least favorite Normalish character) feel free to elaborate on any of these and umm ummm cheryl also mwah mwah <33

HI. I'm putting this under a cut bc um. <- guy who will ramble rly rly long. Or smth

Every single day I shake my head thinking about the potential Kevin could have if yk. RAC didn't go cop mode and his god. His shit w Percival and also every other relationship it's rly :////. I don't know how unpopular my opinions r bc outside of my like 5 Riverdale mutuals I do NOT touch the main tags. I do NOT need the horrible barchie and varchie takes so. But it is very frustrating to me how he's treated and I rly think if I rewatched I could get more insane about him and use my epic ok let's give him more character abilities BUT I am holsing back from a rewatch so.

^ the dislike is well. For the current season shit and the stuff he did 2 Toni and fangs.... Bc like :/

Getting the Riverdale ones done before um I hit u w the persona essay. But Cheryl my literal best friend forever???

^ she needs to be on screen like. All the time forever and ever. If Cheryl is not on screen I think we all should die. She's literally the best part ever and my beloved friend Nico is so right about her and will hit me w the hi. Did u see Cheryl this episode and I will clap and cheer. She's literally the best and so funny and epic and has literally been since s1ep1. Any crimes that are adjacent to murder or well. Anything else. It's forgiven bc she's epic and funny and swag so. Like I'm not umm?? Super picky on any Cheryl ship BUT I think Cheryl and Veronica could be so fucking funny. Like the dynamic could go so hard etc. I love her a lot like in my top 5 rvd characters

Umm persona time and also like I'm gonna spoil a BIG twist about 4 for you so like. Heads up for that. It's not worth playing tho (I say so affectionately but it's also a hard twist to avoid bc everyone knows it and it's like a 10+ year old game)

My least fave (affectionate. Kind of. I also want him dead) character is adachi from 4. I want him dead like for REALSIES but also he's done nothing wrong but he's ALSO literally killed 3 people.

^ every fan sucks about him and I want literally every adachi fan minus my friend to die bc they suck but like he's ultimately just a silly little guy (again. Excusing the murders and also the well. General cringefail of him). Unfortunately I understand him and I think that like he has issues (in a good and bad way.) But he's also like rly???? Idk man he's kinda got issues and problems but he's also rly sillay and goofy and I think he's allowed to kill because he's sillay. He also sucks so bad and I need to kill him. Like a lot of the fans suck so so so bad and I think that he's a very interesting character if you actually understand him. I think he's a little loser ultimately and ummm I don't rly have coherent thoughts but I am microwaving him

Ok as for faves ummm I have a lot HOWEVER I'm gonna go a bit crazy insane about a little dude from persona 2. So like his name is Michel (or like that's his nickname ig?) And so like here's rapidfire facts about him before I hit u w the bingo. So like his weapon when fighting is a guitar case turned into a machine gun. I'm not joking it's very epic. He's also like?? His introduction in the game is LITERALLY basically a hey quit your job join my emo band. He says carpe diem like "crap a dime". He's a singer and like he comes up w insanely stupid song lyrics. He's also like full of issues and problems on many levels. And he literally has blue hair and pronouns

^ him btw. I just need u to understand the character a bit before I go insane in the bingo board

^ he doesn't get enough screen time bc he's not on my screen constantly but like I do not interact w any p2 fans minus my friend Chris and my lovely mutual toni who are both epic and understand it. However I do think some people probably suck about him and he's my bestie so I understand him on a fundamental level. He's rly epic and niceys and minus well a couple issues he does nothing wrong ever and ever. He's my best friend bc like. In persona 2 when u meet demons u can communicate w them and one of his options is to like talk to them and be like HEY you suck your life sucks etc. It's very epic and funny and he will also sing to them sometimes. Also just this gif.

[beautifully-lumpy]

✨ RAMBLY POST ABOUT THE CADDICARUS SPYRO VIDEO ✨

non-spoiler thoughts:

THIS VIDEO WAS AMAZING!!! it was everything i ever wanted and more. i'm an old ancient caddicarus fan from 2014 and oh my goooooddddd i loved this video. i loved it so much. it was beautiful amazing wonderful immaculate i want to marry it. nay, i want to marry the entire goddamn 2020-present caddicarus show.

i can't think of any jokes that fell flat in this episode. like usually there are at least a few that fall flat but this episode was wonderfully written.

it's like...i've been waiting 8 years for this video. there was a point in caddicarus history where we were certain the channel would never hit a million due to the stagnation it was experiencing in the late 2010's. the spyro video was becoming less and less of a possibility...until caddy changed up his content.

this change happened just under a year after i stopped watching, though. for two and a half more years, i kept hesitating and hesitating to watch the newer videos...until he actually hit one million subs. i was sitting in the college library on my first day of junior year when that happened, and i realized at that moment i HAD to return. so i watched the newer videos and was like "holy shit they really are as amazing as they say".

so the spyro video was my first new caddicarus episode since returning to the fandom...and man...i just missed that feeling so much. that wondrous feeling of getting a notification for a caddicarus episode. it's a feeling i hadn't felt in nearly 4 years.

OK BUT LIKE i have so muuuch stuff i wanna do rn. gifs, fanart, edits, etc...like BROOOO. i've fully been transformed back into my teenage self making tons of caddicarus fan-stuff for each new video that drops lmao.

and now for the spoilery thoughts... (this will be very incoherent i'm sorry)

ok but the CAMEOS? genius. if this video was made in 2016 i GUARANTEE he would've dedicated like 2 minutes to each of them, and they would've been saying stuff like "CADDY, PLEASE do NOT play this game, i played this on MY channel and it will CURSE YOU for LIFE!!!". but nope, the cameos lasted like 2 seconds each and almost ALL of them were just them being slightly caught off guard. I LOVE THIS GODDAMN SHOW SO MUCH.

and THE CADDYS RETROSPECTIVES INTRO!! I REMEMBER THAT! I CLAPPED!!!!

and THE BEGINNING CAMEO WITH THE NORMALBOOTS GUYS AND BRUTALMOOSE......crying

it's so funny that the few side characters we saw return in this were spons, baddy, long dennis and sam widge...but we got a shitton of new side characters. AND I LOVE THEMB.......WHEREDIGO MY BELOVED. face face is my new favorite eldritch horror, the COW... and the NEW LONDON COCKNEY CHARACTER WHO PULLED UP TO BEEFY BOYS. i DEADASS thought jim was gonna bring back quick J and was kinda disappointed he didn't jiaowefjoife. but he DID bring back daddy caddy so it's a good compromise.

OH AND WALLACE BIG TOO....AND COUSIN SQUADDY had me laughing my ASS off.

but obviously andrew van is the greatest caddicarus character of all time.

i have lots of favorite bits in this one, like the one where he puts on the clown shoes and kills moneybags. i also loved the one where he greenscreened himself skateboarding, and the return of that bit where he was flying out of the window to katamari music (it was some 2016 video i forgot what it was jsjsjjsjsj), and he ALSO brought back that "just melt it. i'll soak it up. i'll eat it" bit from the spyro orange video. and the SURPRISE MEXICAN BOUNS ROUND...god i'm going to reference this every time i go to a mexican restaurant.

that PUZZLE BIT...jim is such a genius like HOW. HOW does he come up with these things.

and i'm pretty sure that "you have to collect diamonds to FAST TRAVEL???" was a reference to "NOT EVEN THE ARCADE MODE???" from rascal racers

AND I'M NOT SHUTTING UP ABOUT THIS. MATRIX JIM. I WAS CHOKING,,,,

we got some new songs, notably "pink poo bag on your keys" and "i got a million subs". i will have lots of fun learning all the words to these and annoying the hell out of my sister with them.

i hope dead bird of the week becomes a regular thing.

and HOLY SHIT HE JINXED THE REPEAT OF THE CHEESE GRATER INCIDENT. WHY JIM. WHY.

[pjisskullourful]

Hey! Could we get a little blurb of Gay Enough when they were all dating, and someone is hitting in reader at like a bar or smth and won’t leave her alone, so Dami and Ethan step in but the guy still won’t leave so it gets physical (like an actual fight) and Thomas and Vic just immediately get the reader out of there and later when reader asks them why they did that they’re just really quiet but just kinda say “you’re our girl. We had to protect you.” And shit like that? Sorry I know it’s weird, I love your writing!!!!

ok first things first is when im imagining the throuple, i am always imagining what they're wearing cos i see y/n as a drag queen, maybe not performing but always pulling a lewk very club kid style so i see her wearing something like this. something she could make herself

cos if you're showing body, men think you're easy& theirs to objectify& film walking down the street. so someone would try it& try it too much with her

anyways & the throuple always wanna be matching. i couldnt find anything for ethan but i like this look of dami

maybe incorporating the masks into the boyfriends lewks too: - on ethan, two threaded together to sit at his collarbones, then one threaded lower to make like a triangle/necklace, lets put that over a mesh top

we're talking prefame, we're talking a favourite song esque kinda moment

y/n is sitting at a table, taking a water break with thomas. boyfriends are being cute & making out elsewhere(ethan doesnt know dami is friends with dj & has queued up a bunch of songs he knows ethan likes dancing to, so hes locked in for a while)

thomas goes outside for a smoke*. some random dude approaches where y/n is chilling & tries it. maybe at first he isnt so bad, maybe its witty ‘has anyone ever told you you’re two-faced?’, or ‘when you say: my eyes are up here, which ones are you referring to?’. & shes just like politely nodding & doing one of those smiles where its like, heres some of my teeth but my eyes are blank. & he thinks he should just work harder for her attention so he gets sleazier & shes actively not making eyecontact with him. maybe the line is crossed when he says something like, ‘have you got someone to kiss all your lips? & im not just talking about the ones on the faces on your dress...’**

this is when thomas returns, eyes bugging outta his head cos he cant believe what he just heard. he takes his seat back. this rando is perceptive & knows thomas isnt y/ns boyfriend(lack of chemistry, etc, the vibe). so he keeps trying to hit on y/n

shes like ‘oop, i have boyfriends’

creep: *yelling even though its not that loud where shes sitting* boyfriends? you dont have to mock me. if you’re not interested, you can just say, you dont gotta make shit up. how many boyfriends do you have sweetheart?

y/n: two, i can intro you to-

creep: & how many husbands do you have?

y/n: well, none, im just-

creep: two guys, you must be really easy then. a fuckin addict if you need two dicks to keep you satisfied

thom: ok, time to go, son

creep: is this one of them?

thom: you can just think of me as one of them thats gonna teach you some manners about talking to y/n

so thomas gets up, chest-to-chest with this douche(up to yall how strong the creep is). is he intending to fight this guy for his friend?

this is the moment when the boyfriends appear(dami leading ethan, handinhand, super cute). so at first they think its thomas they need to defend. ethan is instantly in there, putting himself between thomas & the creep, in diffusing mode while dami is checking on you, ‘whats going on with this rando?’

before you can explain, ethan has put his hands on the creep, pushing him away from the whole scene. not with his whole strength, just enough to be like ‘back off buddy’. why did he do that? well, creep was calling you a slut again & dami is mad as hell too

‘its not worth it’ you try to tell them, getting up& grabbing damis arm as he starts to approach on the dude, who isnt taking the hint & wants to keep running his mouth ‘dont give him your attention, please dont worry about it, lets just go home’

this is when vic arrives too, lets make things worse, shall we? the creep was rude to her earlier. homophobia maybe. furthermore pissing dami & ethan off

guy takes swing at ethan & you’re properly grabbing dami ‘dont do this, dont let him mess up my baby’s faces, he is not worth it’

but ethan is far more aggressive than you ever imagined. but thomas & vic are less surprised & know that the best thing to do is get you out of there before you get hurt by trying to get in the middle. they believe ethan & dami can handle it together(cos lets be real they have argued with/fought ignroant jackasses before***)

& the rest is like you said. all three get kicked out of the bar so its time to go home. no one is terribly hurt. y/n feels protected, as well as violated, shaken & upset & wanting to stay in ethans apartment, to not have to see anyone but her boyfriends for a few days. shes like 'you dont need to do that', damis like 'no we definitely had to defend your honour'. but you're like 'no ine elses opinions matter, its all just words, all that matters is us'. but it does rattle you for a while(cos as much as you dont want it to, it does)

*this is a thing in australia, a designated smokers area, semi-outside, we’re kinda strict on smoking here. idk if its something that happens everywhere.

IS THAT ABLURB? did i do it? did i successfully blurb?

**pussy, yall

***i have a clear picture in my head, i imagine the throuple attending a pro-choice rally & y/n kicking up at pro-lifers protesting the rally & then ethan escalating with words & dami going to insults. ethan saying something along the lines of: where are you gonna be when that life needs extra help, their life impacted by disability? are you gonna keep fighting for that life’s rights when they turn out as gay as i am for him? *grabs & kisses dami in front of them for gay rights*

[sleepypocketsock]

Omori fandom i have made a BIG BRAIN fic idea and everyone needs to look at it

OKOKOK so picture this:

~KARAOKE FIC~

- post game in Omori, relationships between the gang have gotten better and everyone has now forgiven Sunny and Basil by now (and they all go to therapy now, its essential)

- Kel has decided to drag the group along to a karaoke place in the city Sunny lives in

- yknow what? ill be nice and say that the Hooligans joined as well. There isnt enough content of them, its a damn shame 

-  Almost everyone decides to have a go at singing one song! Kel is,,,uh,,,,ok at it to put at it lightly, Aubrey is pretty good at singing! Kim ends up going heart eyes at that despite the fact they’ve been dating for months (theyre lesbians Dave you cant convince me otherwise) Basil has a soft voice when singing and everyone loves to see it, and everyone overall has a good time!!

- there are Kel and Aubrey bickering moments, there HAS to be 

- then you have Sunny, who no one really expected him to sing which was fine by them! But woah! Sunny is going for it? and Kel ends up creating a betting pool to see how good Sunny’s singing skills are while Sunny is away to grab a drink, Hero’s hosting it with reluctance bc “we shouldnt do things like this but it’ll be interesting to see how this goes.

- Sunny is a SURPRISINGLY REALLY GOOD singer despite that fact you hardly hear him talk at all, it secretly came w the violin practices bc he genuinely wanted to (hc’s go brrrr)

- nobody knows this  only mari did, add that to the Things Sunny Repressed 

-  So imagine the fucking sheer AWE AND SURPRISE that the gang gets when Sunny ends up BELTING IT OUT in the most beautiful voice they’ve ever fucking heard, what the fuck????

- He’s singing  first love / late spring by Mitski and is KILLING IT don’t think too hard about the song choice just imagine that I thought that Sunny would listen to her music & NOT because the other song choices i had written weren’t that good to pick

- everyone is speechless. Kel and/or Basil are having a Gay Panic Attack™(havent decided yet but Sunny has two [2] hands), Aubrey has gained more respect for Sunny (’he sings? and has good taste? respect’), Hero is the equivalent to the Surprised Pikachu meme,and The Hooligans go :O during the entirety of the song

- then Sunny finishes, looks up with an embarrassed look on his face and quietly goes: “...how did i do? i haven’t practiced singing in awhile...” and everyone collectively goes “YOU CAN FUCKING SING??? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING!!” in varying intensities

- Hero goes all Big Brother Mode and give Sunny a little head pat

- Aubrey looks at him dead in the eye and nods, Sunny nods back. they are Communicating. No one knows what.

- Kel being Kel hypes him up about his skills n shit

- Basil smiles and says his voice sounds like an angel (cue blushy blushy moments lmao) 

- The fic ends with “man i cant believe i lost the bet! i was so sure that he would be bad at it..” and Sunny goes “YOU PLACED BETS?????? O-o” 

- Basil won the bet

i would write this but i dont have an ao3 account and my writing skills are ok at best ;-; but if im ever in a ‘fuck it’ mood theres a MIGHT be a chance i will write/draw this shit out

tho ppl are free to make a fic outta this! i might reblog this again w more thoughts about it later

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia Ch 19

Your bags were jumping and sliding around in the back of Madeline's rusty pickup truck. She had been kind enough to offer you a ride up to the lodge when she stopped by the shop earlier.

Madeline had seen the sour look Nate kept sending you and how you were intentionally not looking over towards the soon to be graying young man. Not one to beat around the bush she asked what was up, mam bear mode peeking through.

Nate was just being a dick to you and saying you had to stay with the Cowells longer than what had originally been agreed to. Big Jo seemed fine about letting you go back home now, even with your resolve set to continue hanging out with Toby. But Nate was trying to put a tight leash on you since you “wouldn't listen to reason” - so he said.

Even with security at the cottage updated Nate still thought it best to keep you with them if you were planning to still interact with Toby. More than likely he was trying to make that harder for you to do since staying with them would definitely make it easier for him to keep track of you.

The thought alone set shivers down your spine. Like a constrictor slithering up your back to rest around your neck and do what it does best.

It had been really hard to breathe these last few days.

But all Madeline needed to hear was “Nate” and “being a dick” before she said she'd take you herself. Thereby ending the conversation and silent argument in the shop, as she spun on her heel stating when she'd pick you up later.

Nate hadn't been too happy about the exchange but he could suck your dick. He's been annoying you with all this Toby bullshit and doesn't get to tell you what he thinks right now.

The drive up is silent, but that comfortable kind of silence between two old friends who don't ever really have a need to talk to hang out. It's nice because it gives you tons of time to think about just what you're about to do.

Going over several scripts all at once in your head.

You want to talk to Toby. You still haven't read that file but it just doesn't sit right with you that it was ever even given to you in the first place. Toby being completely unaware of the total breech of privacy makes your stomach flip just like your bags in the back right now. It's not like you ever asked for the detailed life file but at the same time it feels wrong not to let Toby know tht something like that even exists for him. His past being dug back up all without his knowledge or consent. And now here you were about to lay it right down in front of him.

Was this the right move? You're the one bringing it to his attention, if it's something that will mess him up it'll be your fault that he's upset. Jo and Nate may have gotten the information but you still count yourself as being a complacent party to all of this.

Your stomach feels like it's on a drop tower as it sinks further into a pit of guilt.

You feel like the scum of the Earth right now. Hopefully he isn't too upset.

Seeing your downcast eyes, you were a lot more expressive than you ever really realized, Madeline pipes up, “You gon' be ok there sport?”

A small smile bit at your lips. There's a reason Madeline Cobb was known in Kepler as Mama. She took care of those she saw as her own and that was damn near half the town at this point. Hell you'd heard a rumor she raised most this town. The lodge had been her orphanage  before all the kids grew up and turned it into a resort once new arrivals stopped coming. That's probably the reason it's always been so warm and welcoming, it was a home first.

“Yea...just nervous.”

She lets out a small chuckle at you.

“Don' be, 'm sure that Toby boy will say 'yes'. And if he don' well you just come find me. I'll set him right.”

Ok now you were just confused.

“Huh?”

“Don' worry about it, he likes you jus' like you like 'im. It'll work out for you two.” she reaches over and ruffles your hair before jumping out of the pickup. You hadn't realized you were already at your destination.

And it was too late to correct Mama, she'd already made it inside the lodge, about why you were so nervous. The warmth in your face makes you even more grateful for your mask. Barclay was getting bit by the end of the night, the man really needed to get a boyfriend and stop trying to manifest one for you.

The door to the lodge opens again, you hardly paid it any mind. So lost in your own musing you didn't even notice the man walking towards you. Your goat plush had fallen beneath your seat and you were attempting to grab it but it was too far out of your reach.

“You good there?” Toby's amused voice calls, startling you.

Popping your head out of the opened car door. Heart racing faster at the sight of your friend standing there with a small smirk on his bandaged face. You weren't ready for this.

His eye looks better, well like a normal black eye and not a swollen lump that threatened to over take his socket. Now his eye looked like it could still function out of the slight opening. Fuck this was hard enough when you'd pictured only one eye looking at you but now you had to calculate for both!?

Is it weird that this is what worries you? Are you derailing from the actual situation? Distracting yourself so the conversation is easier on you. So you don't have to think about the possibility that Toby won't want to be friends after this. That he'll end up hating you for something you hadn't done.

God you really want to cry.

“Hey, space cadet.” Toby's made his way over to your side and puts a gentle hand on you knee, “You ok? Did something happen?”

He's really sweet, you're going to miss him.

No, stop. You need to get a grip and stop thinking like this. Toby will understand and you guys can continue being friends, a bit awkwardly but still friends. You'd get to hang out and maybe wander through the Monongahela together.

“I...I dropped my goat.”

He cocks his head to the side, brows slowly smoothing out and he gives a gentle squeeze to your legs as he reaches under you, hand searching for your lost plush.

The warmth that was once collecting in your cheeks shoots down past the void sitting in your stomach. Just another thing to add to your list you suppose. After a week of nearly no privacy or comfort you are thoroughly pent up. You don't necessarily want Toby, just need someone or something to help relieve the fire between your thighs. He just happens to be in proxcimity of that fire, poking the flame that hasn't been snuffed during your stay with the Cowells, making it dance and writhe reminding you of the need.

But you can't focus on that yet, you'd give yourself a hand when you finally got back home. Right now you needed to focus on Toby. And having that uncomfortable conversation.

“Here he is.” placing the goat in your lap he looks into your eyes, a slight glint in his.

He's in a really good mood tonight. You have to ignor the whispers in your head, telling you you're about to ruin this for him.

Luckily a tic to the right shoos those thoughts away for you.

“YN?” his hand is back on your knee, it's such a small gesture maybe even completely subconscious but it helps ground you.

You haven't read that file but you can't see Toby ever doing something awful enough to warrant Nate's barrage of paranoia and fear. Even if he did....he couldn't still be bad right? You're such a good judge of character and you called Brian on his masking there's no way you'd miss Toby lying to your face.

“I...” he's looking into your eyes searching as you take a steadying breath, “I just really need a slushie right now.” your eyes drop to the goat in your hands.

You fucking coward.

It's silent for a moment as you chastise yourself for not just coming out and telling Toby you wanted to talk. Toby's hand falls easily from your knee and to his side.

“A'right then, you good to drive?” you really missed your chance here, “'cuz Brian's got Connor tonight.”

Wait what?

You look at Toby who simply raises the right side of his mouth in a lopsided grin. A subtle raise of his right brow tells you he understood what you'd asked for. When was the last time anyone was ever able to read you so well?

“Yes!” you push the goat into Toby's chest and practically dive into the back seat for your bags. “I can drive. Franklin?”

“Don't work tomorrow, so sure.”

His good mood seems to pick back up a bit. He's chuckling as you rush to gather everything and head over to your car, barely shutting Mama's door as you do. Toby gives it a good bump with his hip to make sure it shut properly. He unlocks your car for you and slides into the passenger's seat while you arrange your shit in the trunk.

You catch sight of the skull still in your trunk and figure you'll just leave it as is for now. Since it seems that literally every time you close this trunk you forget it exists. Bye weirdly placed deer skull maybe one day you'll have a wall mount worthy of your beauty.

Before closing the trunk you do rab the file. Maybe having it up front with you will help you actually tell Toby about it.

When you open the driver's side Toby's hand is already outstretched and waiting for your phone, this isn't his first rodeo after all. You can't help but smile as you hand it right over to him. He notices, because of course he does, and beams back at you. Sending more warmth throughout your body. After collecting your emotions the guilt comes back around.

You need to stop being horny on main. And in front of Toby no less. It's weird, like you're riled up for him and not because you're attention starved and haven't known solitude for over a week.

By the time you're driving off the lot Toby had picked you 'Let's drive to nowhere' playlist. A perfect choice for tonight, seeing as these are all either songs to dissociate to or have mental break downs with. And with you obnoxious emotions either is up for grabs. Aside from the music the car was silent as you drove out of town.

You were so wrapped up in what to say to Toby, how to say it, when – that you ended up not saying anything at all. Toby on the other hand couldn't wait for you any longer and broke the silence himself.

A habit he seems to have, must not like silences.

“Normally you don't shut up,” the words were harsh but his tone wasn't for once.

He watches as the scenery changes from quaint country road to interstate. “Did something happen?”

An awkward anxious smile makes its way on to your face. You've never been good at schooling your features and smiling was unfortunately your default in the even of confrontation. It was probably just your brain's way of protecting you from emotional trauma.

“Sorta.”

To his credit Toby waits for three full songs before prying for more information.

“Another attack?” he's on edge.

To be fair you are too.

“No, like hell Jo and Nate wo-would let me leave if that were it.” your head jerks twice to the right. You miss Toby's wince.

Nate barely let you leave the shop today, you had to get outside assistance aka Mama.

“Ok, so what happened then?” as you bit your lip trying to find your words Toby is running through his own list of possibilities. “Dis Ma- Tim do something to you?”

Huh?

Why would Tim have anything to do with this? Are they still fighting? But Brian has Connor tonight...that doesn't seem likely but you've really only hung out with Toby thus far. You don't know enough about their group dynamic.

You also didn't miss the beginning syllable Toby said. Was he trying to say 'Matt', 'Mark', 'Manny'? There were so many names that Tim's alter could have but at the least you've more or less been told there is an alter to begin with.

But why would Toby be concerned about Tim's alter? Was he the one that punched Toby? Were they actually the two fighting and not Tim and Toby? This is confusing just being on the outside, you have no idea how the trio copes with this situation.

“Oh no, Tim and Not Tim have been nice to me.” if you're coming clean about the file might as well come clean about knowing Tim has an alter. This way Toby could pass along the message to Tim and Not Tim.

“Back up, not liter-mrrow – literally. 'Not Tim'? You've met Mas-Ma-Masky?!”

Masky? That's a strange name, but who were you to judge the name someone gave themself. Maybe he's a He/Him enby.

“Not like formally or anything, but I'm pretty sure he was the one that helped me and Ronnie out the other week.” you switch lanes to drive off of the interstate, hoping to find a secluded road to have this conversation on.

God knows it's going to take all of your concentration.

Toby was seething in his seat and you know the tension is only going to get worse going forward.

You can hear him muttering to himself, 'of course' or 'he didn't remember', over and over. Finding a good place to park the car you take it and turn to Toby, who's still lost in his own head.

“Tobias.” you call trying to jostle him and it works a little too well in a sense. As he blurts out, “Don't! Masky's dangerous stay away from him!”

He immediately freeze like he hadn't meant to say that. And while it wasn't a tic it was probably an impulse brought on by his anxious frame of mind. He's popping his knuckles again too.

You don't know why you said it, looking at Toby's wide blown pupils – riddled with fear and nerves, you should've kept you mouth shut.

“Dangerous like you?”

Or at least phrased that a bit more eloquently.

Toby's eyes grow dark and his good eye cuts low nearly matching it's swollen twin. A shiver runs down your spine even though you know the malice is not for you.

“What.” he hisses out.

It's not a question, it's an order. He wants to know what you know and maybe even who told you. Maybe he thinks Masky told you something, since that was the topic of the previous conversation.

Dark eyes watch you like a hawk as you pull the file from the map holder in your door. His chest is nearly heaving with every breath at this point, can he hyperventilate? That's a dumb question he most certainly can. And he's either on his way to that or a panic attack. You hope you don't send him into a panic attack, Connor's not here to help. Connor know pressure though, Toby's had him preform it on you during your spells. Would it work the same if you laid on top of Toby? You're getting too distracted right now.

Not trusting yourself to not just back down now, you hold the folder out to Toby to take.

He's just staring at it like it'll attack him at any moment, and honestly it might...just not physically. He glances up at you. There's a funny flash of deja vu likening back to the first time you met. Cold indifferent and confused eyes looking at you as though you were some strange alien they'd never seen before. This time however there's a spark of something else in them. Something dark that festers beneath the surface. Was that hatred, betrayal, or was that the wall he was building back up. The wall that would sever this friendship.

Stop projecting. He hasn't even taken the file, he can't possibly know what's going on right now.

“What's that?” see.

“Nate got super protective after the attack, I guess the other day you just like rubbed him the wrong way. So, he had someone look into you. That file is everything they found...pretty sure it's your whole life, I swear I haven't read anything. Not even a peek. But Jo and Nate tried to tell me the-”

He snatched the file from you before you'd even said you hadn't looked. He opened it and a second later it was closed and he took a shaky breath before looking at you.

It was your turn to look like a deer in headlights tonight, you knew that breath was one of barely concealed rage. This was it, this was where everything ended, all because Nate had “a bad feeling” about Toby.

But you trusted Toby, he wouldn't hurt you. He was your friend.

“So” he lets out a harsh sigh, “you didn't...you haven't read anything?”

You hastily shake your head, “What did they tell you.” he looks off to the side and his mouth is all screwed up, and not in it's normal mangled sense.

“That I shouldn't see you anymore, you did something bad, awful, terrifying; Nate's list goes on but I sort of...fo the fingers in the ear 'lalala' thing” you say sheepishly, “anytime he tries to tell me something. Jo stops when I ask him to. He's not too worried about you...I think.”

Or he's working behind the scene to keep you and Toby separated for the long run but that's speculation and not the point of this conversation so you don't mention it.

Toby's flipping through the file skimming it, no doubt looking for his checkered past, he finds what he's looking for and nods once continuing on like he was reading a grocery list. Which he may as well have been, a grocery list of all his transgressions. With the way his fingers gripped the edges of the folder you could tell he was putting on a front about the contents.

They did bother him.

“Why didn't you look, why didn't you listen YN?” was he seriously angry at you for that?

“It was an invasion of your privacy. Whatever's in there I wanted you to have the ability to tell me on your own terms – if you ever even wanted to. Not because you were forced into it because I found out from some third party that doesn't even know you.”

“Then why the fuck did you -wrong- practically jump into a car with me and then hand me a file on my shitty life!?!” He slammed the file down into his lap with a lot of force, more than he should have used for sure. “They think I'm a menace and they're right you shouldn't have...you need to...” he trails off looking like he's trying to disintegrate the file in front of him with latent laser eye abilities.

His arms are shaking.

No – he's trembling. The way he's biting his lip tips you off. He's trying to hold himself together, trying to stop himself from breaking. This can't be the same person Nate's so worried about.

“You're biting your lip, that's not good for you.”

“Fuck off.” it's half hearted at best, no real weight behind the words. And he does let his abused lip go.

“It's a breech of trust if I didn't tell you this...I wanted to give you the file because you should know it's been read by two people, to my knowledge.” you place a hand on his forearm, “Toby, I don't know what you've done in the past but...you know you aren't that person now, right?”

He's out of the car in an instant, slamming the door behind him. You follow, as dumb as you understand it is, getting out of your car in the middle of no where with a very unstable person.

“Get back in the car. I mrrow I can't...I need a minute.” his shaking is so much worse now that he's standing, It's even put a tremble in his voice.

“You're stupid if you think I'm leaving you alone in the middle of no where.” you stand your ground, he may need space but this is not the place to have it. You're only a few miles from town, you can get him back to the lodge where he doesn't have to see or be near you.

Hell you won't say a word on the way back.

“Like you're not stupid for ignoring the warnings that I'm dangerous! I've killed people! Did you know that?! Did you even think that's what was so bad!?” he's giving you the same glare he had on when he talked about the fight with Tim.

“I could literally kill you right now, you've driven us out to who knows where but still remained in walking distance back to town. You live on the outskirts of it and it'd be so easy for me to make you disappear and everyone would believe your stalkers got to you.” his chest heaves at a vicious rate.

Despite the venom and truth of his words, you can't find it in you to be scared of him. If anything his rant proves Toby must not have been mentally well during his crimes, he's acting like a cornered alley cat not a serial killer. There's a vice grip on you heart at the thought.

“Ok...are you?”

It's like a switch has been flipped in him and he calms instantly.

“What?” he knows what you're asking.

“Are you going to kill me?” you asked like you'd been asking what time it was.

He stares at you looking you up and down, “No...I wouldn't.” his neck jerks triggering your own tic.

“Then I'm safe.” you slowly approach him, much like you would a feral alley cat. “I trust you Tobias.” you reach out to tough his arm again.

It hadn't worked in the car but Toby does seem to calm down faster when he's being touched. Like the sensation brings him back to reality and locks him there.

“Y-you shouldn'n'n't.”

He doesn't pull away this time as you place your hands gently on his forearms. His eyes raise to meet yours.

“...I've killed.”

He sounds so helpless.

The only thing you find shocking about this is that he actually did it. You know people are capable of all sorts of vile things. But the way Toby's voice breaks, the tremors that run through his body. You can't see any similarity with the horror show you once imagined, a Toby covered head to toe in blood and a vicious grin.

The fact that Toby killed doesn't really phase you much more than the ever present 'how' that rings out. He must have had a reason. Jo wasn't too worried so maybe it was circumstantial. Not to mention Toby's among the general public. Could it have just been an accident? A misunderstanding?

“I don't – no I'm not going to say 'I don't care', because this is something that really effects you but I...I guess what I'm trying to get at is..it doesn't bother me. I know it should but, Tobias I just can't picture you as a murderer.” that blood stained Toby flashes before you singing 'liar', “I got to know you before finding out any of this. So, I know there must've been a reason behind it. And that's...and you don't have to tell me anything.”

Nothing more is said, after all you've said everything you could think of to deescalate the situation. And Toby is frozen as he stares at you. You'd have thought he was dissociating had it not been for the way his eyes still held that tiny reflection of light. He was still present, just unsure how to proceed.

Honestly you were stumped too, you had no idea how to begin this conversation let alone end it.

“My – there was...” you rub his arm in a small circular motion. You don't need to hear anything more, it already feels like too much information that he'd lost the agency for.

But your gentle shushing did nothing because he continued, “Clairse says I had a psychotic break and...just went after the biggest stressor at the time.” he pauses with a deep breath and closes his eyes in the process. “She says it wasn't really my fault, I was under...a lot of – I wasn't there, where I should've been mentally. My dad was abusive...anyone in my situation would've broken at some point.”

His words are hollow and robotic. A mantra he's learned to say although he doesn't believe it.

You'd normally give someone the choice but this time you just slip you arms over his shoulders and pull him into a hug. There's no resistance from him either, if anything he leans into the embrace and grips onto your back. His trembling doesn't stop but it's softened by the pressure.

“You don't have to tell me anything Tobes. I don't want you to...not if it's this painful.”

“I want – want to tell you about Lyra.” his voice cracks in tandem with his neck as he says her name.

And he does tell you, against all your protests to take his time. He tells you everything laid out his whole life right in front of you. From being home schooled early on – isolated within his own home for years, to his older sister and her untimely accident that he's still clearly wracked with guilt about, and then the spiral that ended in patricide and a fire that ate his entire neighborhood.

By the end of his recounting he'd stopped trembling and letting out the occasional sniffle – and now the two of you were leaning on the hood of your car. Looking at the stars that just started coming out for the night, you occasionally whispered affirmations to Toby as he tells more stories from his childhood. The good ones this time.

His spirits aren't as high as they were when you'd started your evening but they're much better than they were two hours ago.

You chuckle as he finishes telling you about the time he and Lyra managed to sneak out of the house for a concert only to realize they had no way of getting back into the house when they returned. Their mom just opened the door letting them inside with a small crease in her brow but the smile that played at her lips told them everything they'd needed to know. They weren't in trouble, she'd sent them off to bed and in the morning asked how the show was. From the way Toby talked about his mom you can tell he really loves her. The feeling must've been mutual, if she sent them off to bed instead of dishing out a punishment all because Toby had smiled for the first time in weeks that night.

“Ah, favorite child Toby strikes again.” you joke.

This time Toby didn't say anything, you had been throwing small jokes in to help keep the mood light, but he just looked at you with his head tilted. A grim expression barely crossed his features before being replaced with a lopsided smile and warm but sad eyes.

“Y'kn – Kyra used to say that all the time.”

“Must be true then.”

He looks at his hands with the softest expression you've ever seen. It's an expression normally given to Connor, just sadder this time.

You nudge him getting his attention back to the present.

“You still want that slushie?”

He takes a moment to look around you and finally rests his gaze on the stars. “Not Franlin, not tonight.” he says focusing back on to you.

“Think we're two exits from Riverton if that helps. They have Wawas.”

“Wawas?” he chuckles.

You nod, “Yea they have smoothies and milkshakes.”

“Ooh la la.”

You both snort and head back into the car. It's surreal to be buckling back in, joking around with Toby when just hours prior you thought you'd be ending your friendship the moment you opened your mouth.

You can't help but ask, “Are we cool?”

“Yea...we're good. 's not like you fucking asked for the information.” he leans his head against the window and crosses his arms into himself.

“I'm still sorry about it though.”

“Know you are. But it's over now.” the finality of that statement takes the weight off of your shoulders. For the first time in days you can breathe again.

“Thanks for telling me everything...you didn't have to. But I appreciate you sharing it with me.”

His nails dig into his arms, or they would have if they weren't chopped down to the bit.

“I mrrow I-I didn't tell you everything...”

Nope this was over and done with, no more sad and scared Toby. You couldn't handle anymore, guilt had found a friend in discomfrot and the two had set out to eat you alive with every tremor that tore through Toby's body.

“What are you like a child murderer or something?” Giving a laugh to soften the joke.

….

You missed the way Toby tenses and sucks in a breath. His heart is beating wildly in his chest, so hard he's certain you hear it. Is that where you draw the line? Child murder. Of course you had to have some boundaries he couldn't just expect you to be cool with everything he's done. You were sure to figure it out sooner or later no thanks to your boss. But Toby couldn't loose you now. Not when you've been an anchor he hasn't had in such a long time. He feels almost human again when he's with you.

He's been quiet too long, at least he thinks he has. He needs to say something, joke around back and dismiss the notion. You can't know not now – maybe not ever.

“I'm trans!” he hadn't meant to blurt that out.

He stared at you with wide eyes. Why had he said that, that hadn't even crossed his mind. Just as he was about to laugh it off you reached over and lightly punched him in the arm. That small gesture sent a tickle down Toby's spine. It was such an innocent touch, but he was touched starved and knew it.

“I am too goof. Thanks for telling me but why the wait?”

Fuck now he had to think of something. Talking to you always made him so brain dead.

“Mrrow...mrr-you saw me as a man first...I wanted to keep it that way.” maybe he didn't have to make something up, just tell you the half truth.

Brian had questioned him when they got ready for the picnic why he hadn't worn his trans tie dye shirt and he's said he misplaced it. A bold lie to tell someone like Brian, especially since it'd been a gift from his mom. She had sent it in a care package last June. He'd never loose something his mom gave him, at least not so quickly. If he'd been being honest with himself at the time, he was worried about your reaction. Of course he knew you were trans too so not like you'd be one to be a transphobe, but he didn't want you to stop seeing him as a man and only see him as trans.

“Toby, you are a man. Nothing short of you telling me otherwise will change that for me.”

Toby isn't sure when you grabbed his hand but he's aware of your hold when you start to rub along his knuckles. He watches your thumb circle jis joints and pressing a bit into the divots as he takes another deep breath.

He gives his best smile, a lopsided uncomfortable looking thing, “I don't think I like when you call me Toby.”

[robincantfunction]

requested: yes/no(requests are open)

word count: 1201

warnings: slight mentions of racism nothing detailed in anyway at all though(mentions the black family as racists)swearing, one sex reference

lemme know if i missed any.

summary: fred and y/n are in a popular band together, and they're dating. the ships get too much and they have to tell their fans. but during an interview someone questions y/n about her racist family. but luckily fred is there for her, her hero. her lover boy.

song prompt 2: lvr boy - awfultune (i have to be honest i didn't really stick too much to it, but i had this idea so we are gonna go with it.

a/n: this is a modern au- the band is kinda supposed to give maneskin vibes but idk, although lvr boy isn't the best example of that-

toujours pur. one of the most popular bands globally, they were so frequently spoken about by all age groups, and just all people to be honest. they really were great. there music varied so much in genre, there was always something for everybody. the bandmates where what really made people love the band- on top of their killer vocals and riffs and just talent in general, their interviews, their youtube videos, their instagram lives, all of it made the public see what amazing people they truly were. fred weasley (lead guitarist) george weasley (rythm guitarist) y/n black (lead vocalist and ukulele player) harry potter (bass player) hermione granger (pianist) ron weasley (drummer) ginny weasley (acoustic guitarist). that summed up to a lot of gingers and a lot of talent. after endless obliviousness and shipping, ron and hermione finally got together- much to the fandoms satisfaction. harry and ginny were frequently shipped, but once ginny came out they started shipping her with luna, a known friend of the band. it was fun to both y/n and fred at first, all their friends were being almost nagged to get with the people they so obviously liked. it wasn't a safely guarded secret that fred and y/n were an item, they just never directly stated it. i mean what was the point? they loved each other, why vocalize it to the world? but then it happened. the tweets, the instagram posts, the tiktoks, every social media platform had to know if the hand holding, the cheek kisses, the 'i love you's', and the loving looks were all just out of friendship- or something much more. it was still fun initially, watching people try and figure out their relationship, but then it was brought into the interviews and the livestreams.

"why don't you guys just tell them? its so obvious anyway, and it's not like your hiding it." george asked after the band attempted a livestream, but ended it when the only comments were about fred and y/n. "why is it their business?" she responded softly. she wasn't wrong, but everyone except fred was still confused. "we know it's not. but come on, we're not gonna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with but it would stop all of that" ginny said, pointing to the livestream set up they have at the end of her sentence. fred and y/n knew they were right, but they were so comfortable how they were, they didn't want their relationship to be completely demolished. it was the last thing they wanted. and the last thing that either of them saw coming, but they were still cautious. "we have a couple interviews tomorrow, tell them or don't tell them. but it would be a good chance." both of them instantly knew what the other was thinking. the time has come. they're gonna tell them.

the next day were all sitting in front of an interviewer, and then another one, and then another one. and finally this one. "so, i know your name has never really been spoken about" the interviewer said, the band nodded "so what's with the band name?" everyone looked at y/n. she chuckled slightly and started explaining "so most of my family, not good people. they were pretty commonly associated with a racist organisation. like i said, not good people. well they have this family tree, personally i've only seen it once. me and my dad don't go to the family home often. it gives us the heebie geebies and they hate us. well anyway, the family tree says toujours pur, always pure. so i thought i'd mock them and suggested it as a band name. trust me, i've received many a message about it. they aren't happy." everyone chuckled, if y/n was one thing it was spiteful. "so just out of interest, has the band received any backlash about your family?" the entire band shifted in their seats, if there was one thing y/n rarely talked about it was her family. and fred was preparing to go into protective boyfriend mode. she shook her head "um, no not really." the guy looked somewhat hurt "oh. so racist family isn't something your fans have a problem with?" ok this guy was obviously being bitter, but before fred could say anything y/n jumped in "family by blood. not by nature. the only thing that correlates me with them is dna, and clearly they drew the short straw because they're missing some necessary brain cells. i'm not my 'family'. so no. i don't get backlash for something people who i've only ever had one conversation with did." the rest of the interview was very awkward. like, very.

"ok one last one and then we're done for the day" lily (their self appointed manager- not that anyone minded, she was a life saver) said, sending a sympathetic smile to y/n "i'm not doing it." everyone frowned, but understood somewhat. "y/n/n, love, one more. we'll tell them we're shagging like they want and then bounce" that made her chuckle, he always managed to that "lovely description of our relationship dear" everyone started laughing at the two. "ok. but if one more thing gets said about the fucking black family i swear to shit i will start throwing things."

the last interview was a lot more smooth. especially when fred held y/n's hand the entire time. that didn't go unnoticed by the interviewer, who commented on it a few minutes after she sat down. "so, fred and y/n. i know you to are" she paused and cleared her throat, whilst looking at their hands "close. and i know you're probably sick of hearing this but, what are you?" they chuckled a little "um... we're sorta dating" the interviewer smiled, and so did fred and y/n. it felt good to say it out loud. "i have to ask you, really quickly. is fred weasley your lover boy?" she asked, referencing their latest single "lvr boy". it was well known that y/n wrote the majority of their songs- specifically the slower bedroom artist vibe songs. y/n nodded sheepishly, never actually admitting that directly to the group no matter how obvious. "my room mate now owes me a tenner, thank you" everyone laughed, this was ok. she was ok.

"i'm sorry about earlier, love." she sighed "it's ok." he shrugged "no it's not. that was fucked up" both of their features softened "i was ok. i am ok. because you were there. and because you're here." they kissed "y'know 'm sorry bout your name. i know people give you shit for it" she pecked his lips again "don't worry about it." he shook his head "why didn't your dad take remus's name?" they both looked at each other "cause a name shouldn't be a burden. and with the person yuo love, it eases it all y'know. they don't care when they have each other." he smiled "can't wait till you have my name" he didn't mean to say it, panic evident in his eyes she smiled a genuinely happy smile "me neither" and she put her head in his chest.

he was her lover boy.

he owned her heart.

he owned her heart like no one else did.

she was always his.