#you encouraged us to keep at it
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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SURPRISE FANART FOR THE AMAZING WORMS @way2gosuperrstarr ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
(alt. versions under cut!!)
#hhhhhhhh#I hope you like it my friend & pls lmk if I’m overstepping anything !!!!!!!!#i may have used too much artistic liberty but your designs inspire me iqjdksidjekek#ok but LISTEN!!! YOUR COMMENTS ALWAYS ENCOURAGE ME TO KEEP DRAWING & YOUR ART INSPIRES ME!!! MY HEART IS FULL OF PLATONIC LOVE AJDBWKKSWNKW#so yes. giving you a kissy on the head or perhaps a giddy wave#also GOD this was so fun to draw i need to animate moon or i will die…eventually ….. stay tuned….#fnaf#fnaf au#superstar daycare grand opening#sdgo#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#daycare attendant sun#daycare attendant moon#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#dca au#dca community#mita doodles#my art#cw eye strain#cw bright colors#bright colors#bright colours cw#eyestrain#cw eyestrain#i love eyestrain colors im so sorry#wnnandjsks#ok im done rambling#MUCH LOVE WORMS !!!!!!!!
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vanha kauppahalli date but the dessert edition aka the more enjoyable edition if not because sasha has a sweet tooth so we can like these foods freely
sasha in the midst of eating merengue and almost choking to death because he thinks any comment out of maffhews mouth is funny maffhew sweetheart we have to think about the effect we have on the people around us for a single second here
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#[insert my cake vs tart vs pie translations into eng rant here yes my eye twitched lets move on.]#im sorry has maffhew never had merengue in his life girl you live in soflo with so many hispanic bakeries#wdym you dont know how to eat merengue yeah if you use that much force its gonna cave in on itself 😭😭😭😭#(man who grew up in america) “never afraid of that [powdered sugar]”#man with texture issues likes the spongy cake and not the one thats texture hell because its airy and dry#and if youre not used to it feels weird. shocker!#as someone w texture issues if its a really bad day i cant even eat it either despite how much i like it yeah i get its a chalky texture#but girl we do have to take you on like a pastry soflo tour im so serious#runebergin torttu reigning superior yeah#kills me the way maffhew just repeats everything wrong and im like oh his ears are POPPED popped after that flight huh#my guy hows your auditorial processing just asking#“keep the flag” sasha hes sentimental don't encourage his trinket collection#“runebergin torttu” “roodoboo stars?” its like talking to my grandmother at this point its beautiful#the 1619 date is intricate huh boys
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Everyone wants to talk about mental health until someone actually does, and then they use it to attack the person.
It's disgusting that in this day and age, Lando can't be open about his mental health and coping with the pressures of F1 without people attacking him.
If you support mental health for everyone and men speaking out about mental health but attack Lando for being open about his issues, then you can, rightfully, go to hell and stay there.
#its actually so disheartening#we talk all the time about destigmastising mental health#yet when someone with a platform like lando has speaks out its used to bully him#its digusting#lando norris#him speaking out could encouraging dozens of people to speak out or speak to friends or be open and honest with themselves#we should be encouraging these discussio s#not using them to shit on someone or hype up the driver you prefer#also just cause your driver doesnt talk about it doesnt mean they dont have their own strugglws#so next time you post hate think about them reading it and know they keep quiet because they see how people get treated for being open
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i spent quite a bit of time thinking, considering my options and wondering if i should even respond to the 'apology' to begin with, but i feel like i've been here before, in this exact same position (i didn't respond to his original 'apology' because it felt off how he omitted the fact that he pretended to be the victim for a whole week, but even then i decided to not say anything and just let the dust settle and give him a chance to learn and do better) and doing nothing eventually just caused more harm. even if i can't reach the other side and find common understanding, i wanted to at least express what's been on my mind for such a long time.
i always try to approach people and situations with understanding and try to assume ignorance instead of malice when someone says or does something i consider questionable or wrong. but i also know we all have our limits. we are all human. and you can't take the heart out of the equation.
one thing in this 'apology' that really stood out to me was this:
how is it not malice to completely disregard another creator, hell, another person and their wishes and feelings when they have made it very clear that your actions are causing them harm?
how is it not malice to outright lie and misrepresent other people and situations in order to portray yourself in a better light?
how is it not malice to disrespect the people you've stolen from and then, after they (by your own words!) rightfully address it and try to bring your actions to light, you then turn around and vilify them to your friends and followers? portray them as bullies and gatekeepers?
all while repeating again and again how the whole experience made you stop creating? as if your actions didn't force people out of this space, this fandom? have you ever sat down to think how the person that made you a 40 minute video tutorial on gif making, the person that taught you so much, no longer makes anything at all because you turned your back on her and copied her sets? kept doing it after she blocked you? after she made text posts expressing how upsetting your behaviour was? you didn't care and kept doing it anyway. even saying things like 'i always credit where credit is due' in response to copying numerous sets from @minthara, down to the caption without ever crediting her.
and if that wasn't enough harm, you then took it a notch further and straight up lied to the people around you, trying to vilify petra and i by saying how the whole thing should've been dealt with in private. how is it not malice to omit the fact that I DID, in fact, reach out to you privately. that i did it in a civil manner. that i tried to explain to you how your actions were wrong and were rightfully upsetting other creators. how you ignored everything i've said and when i expressed that your response (or lack of it) made me uncomfortable and that because of it i couldn't give you permission to 'recreate' (copy) my work, you then insulted me and told me that it didn't matter what i wanted? that you would do as you please and there was nothing i could do about it? how you then immediately blocked me so i couldn't even respond? how is that not malice?
and then this was from your apology back in march:
and you insist that after this 'apology' you've learnt and were never doing anything wrong again and yet you are saying the same thing again in your new 'apology'. how after the march events you went to @galedekarios anyway, asking for permission, didn't wait for her response and posted your copy of her set anyway. which just makes me think that you've never learnt. it just makes it seem that asking people for permission never stemmed from a place of respect and understanding, but from the need to cover your ass in case someone brings the fact that you're still copying up. which someone did, apparently.
at the end of the day, this is my opinion and i might be wrong, but following all of your words and actions, it just seems like you chose notes and attention instead of people. that you kept lying and misrepresenting things and throwing us under the bus for your own gain. and that you only stopped because enough people eventually found out, not because you suddenly felt remorse. and this 'apology' was just another 'ask for permission from a creator', all just for optics. you couldn't even bother to unblock us before posting the 'apology' which just shows how little you were actually thinking about any of us.
#gah there's honestly a lot i could add but...#i feel like i've said enough to get at least some of this off my chest#i'm not even going to go into detail how he'd ask for my presets and use my tracked tag in every single one of his gif posts#all while pretty much never reblogging from me#and i know that other creators expressed the same sentiment#just weird.. you want to be part of a community but then you only take and take and take and never give back#and then complain that you feel unwelcome#and if anyone reading this even thinks 'omg so you can't get inspired by other people's work? ? ?? ? ????' for one second like#this ain't about it#there's a difference between getting inspired by someone and just endlessly remaking other people's work#and i'm tired of even having to explain it again and again#i genuinely am just tired.. i've been tired for a while#i feel like all these waves just killed my excitement and drive to be part of a community to try and bring people and creators together#i don't even want to make anything anymore because it feels like the whole community was just ripped apart#all after i've spent months trying to bring people together encouraging them to interact and support one another but then this happens#and keeps happening and what's the point anymore
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Remember that crazy AU where Tess died? Fuckin brutal. Glad that didn't really happen.
Here's a multi-chapter fic where Tess lives, written in Ellie's snarky POV.
Summary: Ellie, Joel, and Tess learn to live on the road together without wringing each other's necks in the process. Ellie is feral, Joel is savage, and Tess is trying to get everyone to Wyoming in one piece.
Set during the 3-month timeskip before winter. There are wonderful character arcs and nice campfire scenes, but it gets dramatic as hell—buckle up.
20k words, 3 chapters. I worked on this for 3 months.
#chapter 3 is posted!#I finished my first multi-chapter fic! Thank you so much to everyone who encouraged me to keep going. I couldn't have done it without you ❤#tlou fan fiction#joel x tess#tess servopoulos#tess tlou#tlou fanfic#ellie tlou#the tipsy bison#the last of us#tlou fanfiction#tess lives fic#joel and ellie#ellie williams#my writing
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au where jedi healers take a vow not unlike jedi temple guards, but instead of wearing a mask and becoming anonymous, they give up their sight and wear blindfolds to allow the Force to guide their every action. it’s also supposed to blind them to their patients’ differences, which used to be symbolic but since the war between the jedi and the sith broke out, has become much less so
because jedi healers are supposed to heal regardless of if their patient is a jedi or a sith, when they’re deployed on battlefields after the fighting is over, they use the Force to heal every injured person they come upon.
anakin skywalker, who was chosen from the creche and agreed to follow the Healing path at the age of 9, thinks it’s sort of stupid that they have to wait until after the fighting is over to begin to help because he can feel people dying in the Force, he can feel their pain--
young general kenobi, who remembers his old creche-mate anakin skywalker and how blue his eyes once were, thinks it’s beyond foolhardy that this healer is stealing out across an active battlefield, blindfold over his eyes and bending down to heal karking darth maul and single-handedly diverting all of obi-wan’s attention away from the droids and sith legion because now he has to make sure he’s ok he can’t just leave him to the whims of the Force, he’s unprotected and he’s going to get himself killed----
it’s a headache and a half for everyone involved because general kenobi keeps abandoning his battle strategy and sometimes even position to ensure healer skywalker’s safety and healer skywalker keeps dropping everything and everyone the moment he feels obi-wan kenobi get hurt in the Force to rush to his side, Force Vow of Healing Equality be damned.
but......the Council keeps deploying them to the same battlefield because healer skywalker is never more effective as when he knows he must heal fifty mortal wounds before he can rid general kenobi of a headache, and general kenobi is never as ruthless as when skywalker is on the field close to him, in potential harm’s way
despite how much they insist they hate each other
#kit's silly lil aus#obikin#healer anakin au#writing this out i thought of like five thousand scenes i'd want for this#a scene where obi-wan is pissed at anakin because he keeps fucking fixing one of the sith#so he's not letting anakin heal him and refusing to see one of the clone medics#so they're in his tent and he's just holding a compress to his head wound and bitching at anakin who is bitching back at him#and obi-wan is like 'at least you don't heal DROIDS' very scathing#and anakin goes quiet and is like 'i used to want to be an engineer did you know that?'#and obi-wan is like 'force when we were kids i knew everything about you. crush the size of a senator's ego'#oh and another scene where a sith (lbr maul) attacks anakin and obi-wan gets in the way#and takes the blade for him and anakin kills him rather violently#because i dont like healer anakin aus that take the violence and teeth out of anakin skywalker#so he snaps and breaks his vows to kill maul and eliminate the threat so he can heal obi-wan#and probably the council had encouraged him to become a healer because they could see his capacity for violence and fear and hate#but they couldn't see his attachment to obi-wan#but then not even obi-wan could see that#and a scene after that where obi-wan wakes up in his tent and the first thing he sees is anakin's blue eyes#because anakin broke all his vows to protect and obi-wan and killed many many people to keep them away (in a very feral way)#so what's one more#and obi-wan's first thought is that he missed those eyes#everything else and their consequences can wait#oh also mostly in it for the blindfold sex before this#absolutely here for the blindfold sex#same age aus also my beloved
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I hope the next wxs big event introduces another wildly talented npc who has gay feelings for tsukasa & he takes zero notice of it again. I need it to be really driven home that women do not want him & he only attracts talented theatre men who find his obnoxious personality and massive ego appealing.
#I still think abt the ‘asahi just sees rui as a possible coworker but had a crush on tsukasa’ thing it’s so funny#tsukasa is like hm rui & Asahi seemed to really hit it off I should encourage their bonding so anytime Asahi invites him somewhere he brings#all of wxs and then tries to get asahi and rui to talk. & they do talk but unfortunately Rui is obsessed with tsukasa and keeps#flirting (playfully threatening) w tsukasa right in front of asahi#at the end of the night asahi is like I kinda intended for this to be a date would you be interested in going out again w just the two of us#& tsukasa is like oh. no thank you! we can still be friends though!#mine#tsukasa#even funnier if tsukasa is like I don’t like men that way sorry & asahi is like (thinking of his interactions w rui) …uhuh.
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One thing I rly hate in fandoms is ooc angst just be for the sake of having angst. It gets to the point where a lot of angst is corny to me bcuz ppl just make it to be emo without considering whether or not it actually aligns with canon
Kou Minamoto is one of the biggest examples of this that I’ve seen. There are so many angst posts abt him being sad that Nene is with Hanako, when he acts the exact opposite way in canon. The only time he’s really acted jealous over her was when Teru flirted with her, and that was more because he felt betrayed by his brother. He didn’t seem upset at all when Hanako crashed their “date” in Yako’s boundary, in fact he was perfectly happy to let Hanako tag along
There is plenty of angst to be made with Kounene, especially considering Nene’s short lifespan. Since the ship is treated as the designated “healthy” pairing in the fandom I also don’t see a lot of talk about how Kou’s savior complex would negatively impact their relationship. There’s just so much to talk about with them outside of the whole “Kou is sad because Nene has a boyfriend” thing. Kou has a boyfriend too so like, now what?? I’ll admit I’m very biased here, I don’t like the unrequited love trope very much. The angst that goes along with it isn’t really my cup of tea, so whenever I make Kounene fics/posts they’re almost always from Nene’s pov with her liking him back. It’s not that it’s too sad for me it’s just kinda lukewarm?? And some of it gives Nice Guy vibes idk. The way I see it, if one character isn’t interested then that’s where the relationship ends, so I don’t see the point in shipping anything that’s completely one-sided. Not trying to yuck anyone’s yums, this is just a preference
Anyways Kounene is a really good ship with a lot of potential besides just being “sad boy Kou hours.” There is another character that Kou gets very possessive over but for once this ain’t about them so I’m directing my attention towards Kounene. And preferences aside, I’d rather the angst just be in character. Teru is a character that gets very mopey about his crush being one-sided, so a lot of these Kounene angst posts would work great with him and Aoi or Akane. Again, it’s not my favorite trope in the world but I can see how it would make sense with him. But for Kounene I think there’s so much angst (and fluff) potential we’ve been missing out on by reusing the same trope. Let’s get creative with it!
#kounene#rare roxy kounene-positive post#monthly reminder that i do ship them i just like to use them as a punching bag a lot#kou minamoto#nene yashiro#minamoto kou#yashiro nene#ik this post is abt angst but i loooove kounene fluff fics sm#i would write more of them but i already have like mountains of fic requests + my current fic to finish#if anyone wants to drop a request tho…🙈#my fic request sheet is linked in the author’s note of like every fic i’ve ever written#angst#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#i understand stretching canon a bit for personal enjoyment so if you love this trope keep at it#i just view the ship a bit differently and i wish there was more variety in their content#on a side note if anyone wants to write kou being jealous over his main love interest i highly encourage you to do so#cuz he’s gonna have a different dynamic with every character yk#so what doesn’t work for one ship might work for another#i wish that concept was more widely understood in fandoms
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something that I think the “have fun and be yourself” discourse tends to miss is that it’s all very well saying do whatever you want and don’t worry about what people think because the people who judge you aren’t worth your time, but sometimes you choose to act normal because you have a task to do or you’re in a conversation that you care about, and having to stop in the middle for your interlocutor to say bewilderedly “but why did you do that in such a quirky way” would be wasting time and getting off topic. choosing to act normal to avoid that is not being inauthentic out of unhealthy fear of censure. it’s just prudence.
#spoken like someone who didn’t get made fun of by my parents as a child? yeah guilty. I have anxiety but I don’t think people hate me#but babes….I love being normal. I love slipping in and out of situations without leaving any ripples.#it’s like being a spy.#and honestly it’s a way of showing respect to people—recognizing that their time and understanding is as important as your self-expression.#there’s a time and a place for being weird and funny and remarkable#there is also a time and a place for politely following the script#or using clear ordinary language#do you need to feel guilty if this is a skill you have been unable to develop? no of course not.#but it IS a skill and a healthy society (and healthy families) would encourage young people to develop it#the one-sided emphasis on being yourself has utterly failed to keep people from feeling anxious#it has to be balanced by a confidence that you know how to handle yourself in situations!#in which cate tells stories
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vaguing a post that's on my dash that I don't want to engage with (as usual) but actually no CPTSD isn't a diagnosis for 'when things were a tiny bit bad a lot' or 'if you experienced relationships that were toxic but not abusive' it's a diagnosis describing the impacts of CONTINUOUS TRAUMA. not less significant but more frequent trauma; trauma which is ongoing/continuous/recurring in developmental years.
like I'm not trying to gatekeep here and I recognise the value of saying 'it doesn't have to be a Single Big Obvious Trauma' because one key thing about CPTSD is that generally it makes traumatic incidents Your Normal so you don't necessarily view them as unusual or concerning. but I often see people talk about CPTSD as if it implies smaller individual incidents than PTSD and that just is not the case.
most experiences I have seen people be diagnosed with CPTSD for (myself included) are not 'a little bit toxic'. they are things which, each incident taken separately, an outsider would still recognise as traumatic - medical emergencies, rape and sexual abuse, significant physical violence, emotional abuse and coercive control, homelessness, severe poverty, war, torture, etc - and the thing that makes the PTSD C is not the relative level of the trauma, but the fact that it's enough of a repeated and consistent pattern, at an early enough stage, and sufficiently embedded in everyday life, that it becomes a person's baseline for 'normal'.
CPTSD is not a synonym for emotional microtraumas or cumulative trauma or 'death by a thousand cuts'. It's specifically defining the psychological differences in response to long term formative trauma as opposed to traumatic events which you process as an aberration (eg the difference between regular violence against you from trusted adults in childhood vs being physically abused for the first time in adulthood with existing experience of healthy relationships). Traumas causing CPTSD tend to be pretty similar in type, scale and severity to traumas causing standard PTSD - they are just more embedded and normalised earlier in life.
all this to say there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that cumulative microtraumas can affect us in traumatic ways. there's nothing wrong with pointing out that there's a broad range of types of trauma, and trauma can include stuff like growing up marginalised or ill as well as abuse, war, injury or immediate loss. there's nothing wrong, too, with acknowledging that a lot that is traumatic doesn't necessarily feel traumatic to you.
but like. no. CPTSD is not a diagnosis for people whose trauma wasn't 'big enough' for PTSD. CPTSD is not cumulative microtraumas. CPTSD is a response to formative macrotraumas or to a long term traumatic situation without hope of escape or change and if you want to talk about microtraumas then do that but it's not what CPTSD is!
#red said#this has really pissed me off sorry I've seen several people post things like this#so this post just tipped me over#but like. goddamn. cptsd is not microtrauma.#and there are benefits to encouraging people to think of things as potentially traumatic before they're ready to register them as harm#but imo that's counterbalanced by the fact that again a major part of CPTSD for a lot of people is that we Think Severe Trauma Is Normal#so i do not think it's USEFUL to AGREE that CPTSD is a diagnosis describing the buildup of Small Normal Microtraumas#when it's generally a response to LARGE HORRIFYING trauma that KEEPS HAPPENING#listen ok so PTSD might describe an adult's response to being posted into a warzone or having their home unexpectedly attacked#CPTSD might describe a child who grew up in a warzone and struggles to feel safe into adulthood bc they have no experience of a safe world#they're both significant traumas but one is an interruption of the way you thought the works works#and the other is the only lens you have to view the world through#but crucially NEITHER ARE MICROTRAUMATIC AND THAT'S NOT WHAT THE COMPLEX IN CPTSD MEANS
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remus john lupin in swte
#webweave#web weave#webweaves#web weaves#webweaving#web weaving#harry potter#remus lupin#wolfstar#swte webweaves#art#jean-baptiste#tarot cards#joe goldberg#you#fanfic#this is wildly therapeutic i will be doing more of these.#also little miss jaywalkers keeps encouraging me so if im spamming your dash. yk who to blame.#taylor swift#mastermind#not a big taylor fan but thats a lovely song#finally became one of those fanfic writers that use lyrics smh.#swte
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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I know the ask is about ships but could you make a non ship one with Dean and Carlos from the Winchesters? I can't think of an exact thing for Dean to say, but the first sentence can be what Dean would say for their first meeting. Thank you if you can (*^‿^*)
"I like your hair," Dean says, staring up from where he's clinging to the bottom of Mary's winter coat, and Carlos grins wide when he adds, with all the breathless gravity of a four year old eager to impress their opinions upon a new friend; "It's swooshy and it's pretty like Mommy's hair, and your-- your beads are pretty and shiny and shiny is my favorite color."
"Swooshy and pretty and shiny is exactly what I was going for, so thank you, little buddy."
Even with almost six years between now and the last time he'd seen Mary, Carlos is relieved to find that they still have a good sense of one-another -- can still communicate silently, swiftly, like they used to when it was life or death. He meets her eye, and her face softens, and understanding passes between them before he slides one of his lucky beaded bracelets -- the bloodstone one -- free.
Dean's eyes light up when he takes it.
When he smiles, he looks just like his mother.
[for this askbox game if anyone else wants to send me a prompt]
#supernatural#the winchesters#supernatural fic#the winchesters fic#dean and carlos#hi anon i love you and YES you can have a platonic dean and carlos ficlet!!!#for the record this is set in the uh... the prime universe? og spn universe?#did we ever reach a consensus on what to call the different 'verses?#but yeah this is a world in which the events of the winchesters didn't happen#so mary got out of the hunting life as she did in spn and lost touch with carlos and lata and ada#and carlos has been on the road#and just happened to be passing through lawrence when he bumped into a heavily pregnant mary with a four year old dean at the grocery store#so here we are :P#cass writes fic#fandom: supernatural#fandom: the winchesters#also now i've made myself extremely sad thinking about a year later#carlos swinging through lawrence again and going over to the house to visit mary and meet her husband and the new baby#and finding the house abandoned and ravaged by fire#checking the local newspapers and discovering that mary had died and her kids and husband have dropped off the map#having to call lata and ada to tell them#and then not reconnecting with dean (and meeting sam) until many many years later#when they happen to be hunting the same monster#and he realizes who they are#and is absolutely distraught over what has become of mary's children#especially the sweet little boy who'd been so enamoured of carlos' pretty hair and jewelry#also i linked to a picture of bloodstone because it is indeed very pretty#and i chose that as the stone used in the bracelet carlos gives dean for several reasons:#it symbolises strength and resilience and encourages growth and positivity generally but also especially during times of hardship#so i've basically decided that carlos helped keep dean safe for many years thanks carlos <3
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ROUND ONE: My hat vs. Tinfoil
Propaganda:
My hat:
The phrase “I’m right or I’ll eat my hat” or something like that
Vote for this or I’ll eat my hat.
Tinfoil:
it’s tasty
i used to eat it as a kid (i have pica) and that shit was so fun to eat. it's like if paper hurt even more to eat
it's got full marks on the sensory scale: sight is fun and shiny, smell is neutral, sound is crinkly, taste is fun and metallic, touch is fun and scrunchy, one of the materials ever
#My hat#Tinfoil#eating the inedible#it's a goddamn poll#inedibles round one#A little easter egg for the maggots#guys#guys guys guys#darlings#ive managed to get out at least a poll a day for three days#are you proud of me#are you#please be proud#;-;#darlings yall gotta rb with propaganda and shit and your encouragements#so i remember to keep putting out polls#keep mod accountable#no matter how many sideblogs i have i will never get used to calling myself mod#the one a day is based off of my timezone
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Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.
Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)
Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.
Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.
#the daily life of a deity sucks#and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now#i also would have accepted the punishment for this#and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before#so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him#and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy#who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time#also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of#dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off#and he never tells them to piss off#also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it#and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love#and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone#and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion#and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair#and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles#and tells him he looks good with longer hair#so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again#but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt)#also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar#its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks#and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall#theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall
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