#you dont mind being third or fourth or WHATEVER
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home by daughtry reminds me of deku in the most he-wouldn't-do-this-but-it's-the-life-i'd-want-for-him kinda way đ„Čđ
#my 'if only' song for him#can you just imagine.#if he chose to be kinder to himself and dropped everyone else#if he chose to be SELFISH#if he just CHOSE HIMSELF for fucking once#'i dont regret this life i chose for me'#bc he doesn't and he never will but just. imagine him throwing the towel in and saying aight im done like#he's done enough. IMAGINE IF HE FINALLY FEELS LIKE HE'S DONE ENOUGH. if he finally BELIEVES he's done enough#'these places and these faces are getting old' to every passersby every civilian every new person he's met for those few fleeting minutes#loving deku is knowing and accepting that you'll never be first#and youve come to terms with that over the years but it doesn't stop you from hoping he puts HIMSELF first for once.#you dont mind being third or fourth or WHATEVER#then you get the call#and he tells you he's coming home#it's not something unusual; he usually does that at the end of a shift or a trip or a mission or a meeting#but this one sounds different. a little more emotional. a little teary and sentimental. he sounds like he's gonna cry#and you can't tell if he's happy or sad but he tells you he's coming home#he doesn't say until later on that it's from signing closing contracts and retirement papers#bc after all this time he FINALLY feels like he's done enough. and that he can come home now. to you especially#and he's still a little sad don't get me wrong!!!!!! but it's relief and excitement and sorrow and guilt all in one and#GOSH IF ONLY#this is why deku is at the top of the list of writers i am HELLA reluctant to write for lmao#characters*****#there's SOOOO much to unpack#i talked so much again#TRULY MADE MYSELF SAD#anyway back to writing atsumu
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Master list of everything I do/have done for wÉight lÂșss:
For context: I've had an Éd since the beginning of 2022 (though possibly longer?) and have had a lot of trial and error in that time. I am currently at my all-time lowest wÉight and this is my third or fourth rÉlapse. My heavıest ever was Émi 25. For this rÉlapse my start was Émi 23 at the beginning of August and now I'm down to Émi 18.7 as of October. This is gonna be a very thorough master list of all the stuff I keep consistent at to lÂșse wÉight.
1. Hydration:
Ik you are hearing this for the umpteenth time but DRINK SO MUCH WATER. I probably drink anywhere from 70-100 oz of water a day. You should drink at least HALF YOUR BODY WÉIGHT IN OUNCES of water every day (120 lbs = 60oz water minimum). Whenever my cup is empty I refill it asap or drink sparkling water which I LOVE. The reasons for this are obvious, it takes up stomach space, fends off hunger pangs, hydration, yada yada hopefully you know what water is and does.
2. Other drinks:
I very scarcely consume liquid cÂȘlories. If I want a drink with more flavor, sparkling water, unsweetened tea, or (very rarely) zero/diÉt of whatever soda I'm craving. I don't like energy drinks/coffee but those work as well.
That being said, I still allow it sometimes (meaning if my cÂȘlorie budget allows for it). For example, my favorite drink is AriZona green tea, which is not very high in cÂȘlories if you find the right portion size. The bottles are 160 cÂȘls each, and they sell regular 12 oz cans for 80 cÂȘls each. It's all about portion sizes, even for drinks!
Otherwise, I don't drink a lot of juice or soda anyway. If I do want juice, I try to get it in pouch/can/bottle form instead of from the jugs so they are pre-portioned and I don't have to wÉigh it out to calculate cÂȘls. I have some compulsory thing that I feel the need to CHUG every drink I have, so this helps keep me from gulping down half a gallon of sugar water and is still within my budget. I don't drink protein shakes really, but if it's within your budget, there's no reason not to (especially as a meal replacement).
For alcÂșhol⊠sometimes I let myself splurge on cÂȘls a little bit bc these days I only drink if I'm REALLY going through it (bc cÂȘlories got me trippin' so hard I kind of stopped being an alcÂșholic), but otherwise, I hardly drink at all anymore. When I do, I'll do shots of whatever liquÂșr I've got atm. 90-100 cÂȘls a shot is atrocious but on an empty stomach, it'll hit quick. Other options I've utilized include hard seltzers, liquÂșr in diet soda/watered-down juice, or spiked teas. Lower in cÂȘls than other things (generally) and good for someone with a lower alc tolerance. I love beer and wine but it's just not effective and too high cÂȘl if I'm looking to get smashed.
3. Apple Cider Vinegar:
Pretty much since I developed an Éd, apple cider vinegar has been involved in some form or another. I should also mention that all of these methods have helped a lot with my acne (which was my main excuse for why I was always consuming these things so often). *I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW IF IT DOES ANYTHING BUT I WILL ALWAYS TAKE A WÉIGHT LÂșSS PLACEBO IF IT WORKS*Â
At first, I would take shots (2 TBSP or 1.5 oz) of it in the morning every day, usually just alongside water or tea (though I never personally minded the taste that much). I wouldn't recommend this method since it definitely irritates your teeth/mouth/throat/stomach after prolonged use, and makes your stomach hurt if you don't take it with enough water.
Next, I tried ACV gummies. The downside, is these do have cÂȘls (I think about 20 or 30 for 2 pieces?) and unfortunately I found them delicious so they were always tempting me from my bathroom cabinet. Also, they were pricey and inconvenient since I'd always forget to Éat them in the morning.
Now I take ACV capsules since I prefer to just swallow pills over chewing up a sticky little gummy every morning. No cÂȘls, no taste, quick and easy, MUCH cheaper. I take 2 in the morning and 2 at night, but DO NOT start with that many because it will hurt your stomach. Start with just one in the morning and increase from there.
4. Intake:
I want to make it very clear that Éating ANY amount under your BMR (basal mÉtabolic rate) will result in wÉight lÂșss, and this can be calculated on various websites. You don't have to Éat under 1000 to lÂșse. You could Éat OVER 1000 and still lÂșse. Please use your best judgment to find the right amount for your needs.
I don't track/count net cÂȘlories (cÂȘlories after subtracting cÂȘlories burned), only the total amount of cÂȘlories I CONSUME. I may bump it up a little *very sparingly* but I've maybe only done that 3 or 4 times in the past three months, and never any more than my maintenance cÂȘlories. For me, 500-800 range is just enough to keep me from going insane while still consistently dropping a good amount of wÉight every week. And I don't track seasonings at all because that's literally dumb lol. If using enough salt and pepper to kill a small child will get you to fill up on broccoli instead of bınging on chips who gaf. It'll be >5 cÂȘls regardless, you'll burn that many cÂȘls just sprinkling it in and chewing.
5. Tracking cÂȘls:
I track everything I eat and I wÉigh out my fÂșod pretty frequently, but usually only for things like meat, dairy, or high carb/sugar foÂșds. 5 or 10 extra grams that I would let slide before could add a lot more cÂȘlories than you realize (and mostly from fÂȘt or sugar đ§). I don't bother wÉighing out low cÂȘl foods usually, I just make rough wÉight/volume measurements. I usually overestimate my cÂȘls and still end up Éating below my budget anyway. As someone who would wÉigh out every single little thing that went into my body (including water) to the hundredth decimal gram, being obsessive about it will drive you insane and you will risk a miserable bınge/rÉstrict cycle. It's stressful and annoying and you will still lÂșse wÉight if you don't.Â
I don't track/care about my macrÂșs at all. I do try to Éat more protein than bread and sugar when I can, but I don't really prioritize it. I would recommend that you do though, PRIORITIZE PROTEIN AND FIBER because these keep you full for longer and will help you to feel less tired from undÉrÉating.
6. FÂȘsting/OMÂȘD:
What I feel has been absolutely key to my success has been fÂȘsting and OMÂȘD (one mÉal a day). I fÂȘst a minimum of 20 hours every day and only Éat dinner (because it's required in my house) + a small snack (usually an apple đ€€). My dinners range anywhere from 200-600 cÂȘls and I never let my snack go over 200 cÂȘls. This keeps me full through the night, and throughout the day I tend to keep myself so busy that I forget to Éat anyway.
Once (sometimes twice) a week I will do a fÂȘst anywhere between 40-50 hours but I would recommend 24-36 hours for someone who does not fÂȘst for long periods as often since this has had a lot of negative side effects for me (fainting, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, stomachache, headache, low blood pressure, spikes/drops in heart rate, weakness, exhaustion). A lot of my issues come from overproduction of stomach acid, dehydration, and general shitty blood circulation. If you do want to fÂȘst for longer periods, here are my tips:
Constantly be drinking water and stay super hydrated.
Chew gum, this produces saliva and reduces acid production.
Absolutely NO carbonated drinks, this will INCREASE acid production!
Extremely light to NO exercise (I break this rule a lot đ), conserve your energy while fasting.
Drink hot liquids (tea, coffee, water) in the morning, this keeps me from getting nauseous and lightheaded throughout the day.
My body cannot handle any pills/vitamins on an empty stomach, so take with caution (obv don't do this if you take medication you're required to take with food)
Overall reduce stimuli like lights, sounds, temperatures, and smells. These usually make my side effects much worse and cause me to get sick more often (but I also have autism so that may factor).
Keep yourself occupied, preferably something with your hands. I get a lot done with school and a lot of my hobbies like writing, puzzles, painting, etc. I also deep clean and organize things around the house frequently which keeps me occupied for a couple hours.
7. Exercise:
In the past, I had a pretty bad exercise ÂȘddiction whenever I would be deep in my Éd, and honestly, it didn't help much at all. It made me extremely tired and sore all the time and it led me to bınge often because I told myself it would "cancel out". Exercise does not contribute to wÉightlÂșss as much as people think it does, since wÉightlÂșss is primarily done through your diÉt. Now, I exercise once or twice a week (if at all), and this is the most wÉight I've ever lost and KEPT OFF, so slowing down on the exercise has really helped me a lot. I primarily do cardio like walking, stairmaster, playing sports, home workouts etc., but nothing super intense. I only aim to get over 2000 steps a day and am pretty sedentary because of school.
8. Actual foods I eat:
Disclaimer: Outside of ÂȘna, I also have dealt with ARFıD/super picky Éating my whole life, so this list won't be super varied and relatively basic.
First things first, take multivitamins/supplements. Especially Iron, Calcium, Vitamin B12, and Vitamin D. I prefer capsules, but if gummies, drink mixes, etc are easier DO THAT. These are essential vitamins and minerals that will keep you from feeling like walking dead.
Protein: I have never Éaten pork, and I very scarcely Éat beef or lamb. I pretty much only Éat chicken/turkey for everything which is leaner and higher in protein than other meats. I don't like/Éat seafood or tofu, but that's also an option. I fucking LOVE eggs they're one of my favorite foÂșds, plus decently low cÂȘl, protein, filling, and delectable in any form. I really really like nuts as well (esp cashews) but it's very rare I get to Éat them because they are so high cÂȘl đ However if you do they're a good source of healthy fÂȘts and protein! I save it for special occasions.
Veggies/fruits: I Éat A LOT of fruits and veggies bc I try to incorporate several into any foÂșd I make. Cooking pasta? Fill it with veggies. Stir fry? 90% veggies. Literally anything else? Half my plate is veggies. Volume Éating is a lifesaver. It keeps me full, adds fiber and vitamins to my diÉt, and is low cÂȘl because they're mostly water, so I Éat them as much as I want. The fruits/veg I Éat the most: spinach, kale, lettuce, cabbage, fresh herbs, tomatoes, peppers, onion, broccoli, green beans, ginger, bok choy, carrots, apples, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, grapes, melon, citrus, bananas.
Dairy: Low fÂȘt, skim, or 0% fÂȘt dairy products are always the go-to, you get the same result for whatever you're subbing it for. I haven't drank cows milk since I was a wee child because it's disgusting and I don't really Éat any dairy other than cheese, so making this swap wasn't very difficult for me. I do try to limit dairy as much as I can though because it is so high in fÂȘt and cÂȘlories. If a recipe has butter or cream I try to leave it out or use as little as possible.
"Breads": I still Éat things like pasta, tortillas, rice, and regular bread frequently, just in small amounts. And I will almost never double up on 'breads' (like having a bread roll and pasta together). I try to Éat protein pasta over regular to at least get some benefit from it since it is so high cÂȘl. Lower cÂȘl options you can have a little more freely are anything keto or gluten-free/vegan options. Sometimes if I want toast or a sandwich I will cut one slice of bread in half so I have two very thin slices and it tricks me into thinking I ÂȘte more than I really did. I really love instant noodles but unfortunately they are very high in cÂȘlories so I haven't Éaten them in a very long time âčïž. Instead I Éat rice noodles or instant pho since it's pretty low cÂȘl compared to the fried wheat noodles.
9. Junk food swaps/junkorÉxia:
Okay I know you just saw the big list of "healthy" foods but I am a junkorÉxic to my CORE. I love sugar, I love desserts, I love bread, I love cheese, I love chips, I love fast foÂșd, all of the worst highest cÂȘlorie garbage you can think of. I still Éat these things from time to time believe it or not, but now we're going back to portion control. Brownies are one of my favorite treats, and I still get to have them if it's *within my budget*. I can still have bread, and chips, and cookies etc, as long as it's *within my budget*. You don't necessarily have to completely cut these things out, because I know when I do, I go crazy and bınge on all of these foÂșds eventually. Even still, I don't Éat these fÂșods very often because I found lower cÂȘl swaps!
I'm not going to try to lie to you and tell you "if you want potato chips Éat baked broccoli or seaweed instead â€ïž" because that shit is WACK and not at all like chips. Here are some swaps I make for most of the garbage I usually would Éat for the fellow junkorÉxics:
N!CKS/halotop ice cream, zero sugar popsicles/bars: lowest cÂȘl ice cream flavors of N!CKS ice cream are around 1 cÂȘl per gram! I like these because they feel less heavy in my stomach than regular ice cream, and taste more like frozen yogurt anyway đ€€. I haven't actually tried halotop but I assume both brands are similar. Popsicles I can't ever tell a difference, it's just flavored with ice sugar or flavored ice with no sugar, neither are super high cal.
Sugar-free jello and pudding: self-explanatory, taste very very close to the regular to me so I don't even realize a difference! I hate yogurt but zero sugar greek yogurts would work too if you're into that. I use this as a swap for jellos/puddings/ice cream.
Baked chips, savory rice crisps, popcorn: baked chips are lower cÂȘl and lower in fÂȘt by weight, but they taste way different from the regular so don't expect them to be the same. Rice crisps are super low cÂȘl compared to chips and come in a lot of flavors (I like these better than regular chips most of the time bc they're crunchier). Popcorn (even the buttered or other flavors) isn't as high cÂȘl as I assumed it was! Plus it's high volume and filling, bc I know my ass cannot finish a whole bag of microwave popcorn to myself.
Sweet rice cakes, fiber one bars, graham crackers, cinnamon raisin bread, frozen waffles or pancakes (ordered lowâhigh cÂȘl): These are my replacement "baked goods" because that is something I crave a lot. I know most of these aren't at all like cookies, but it works for me personally and I can fit them into my small-ish budget regularly without having to bake everything myself all the time. Even outside of having an Éd I've always loved rice cakes, so regardless I Éat them a lot, low cÂȘl, CRUNCHY, cheap. Fiber one bars are like 60-90 cÂȘls + fiber ofc. Graham crackers are 130 cÂȘls for 2 sheets. Cinnamon raisin bread is 90 cÂȘls a slice (personal fav). Frozen waffles/pancakes are usually around 200 cÂȘls a serving.Â
Sugar-free candy/other: I think it's good to assume any candy that's keto or dairy/sugar-free will be lower cÂȘl than the regular version. I don't really Éat a lot of candy day-to-day but whenever I crave it I go for granola or fiber one bars, or have a small amount of dark chocolate instead. If I'm craving sour candy, I'll have fruit, jello, fruit gummies, or drink juice. These aren't very good or direct swaps, but I tend to crave flavors and textures more than specific fÂșod items (if that makes sense). But regardless, if I have enough cÂȘls leftover, I just Éat the real thing lol.
10. Cook your own food:
Cooking for myself 99% of the time has been crucial for my wÉightlÂșss. I'm able to wÉigh and portion out all my ingredients accurately to get exact cÂȘlories for anything I make. Plus this way I can throw tons of vegetables into whatever I make to give it more volume/nutrition.Â
I also cook for my whole family, which means they constantly have high cÂȘl requests for what they want me to make like pastas, fried foÂșds, burgers, etc. If I know for certain it will fit into my budget, I'll just Éat it (with much difficulty) so they don't get suspicious. However I'll also swap/remove the super high cÂȘl parts in recipes completely and other times I will add all the high cÂȘl stuff to just their portions and keep a 'clean' portion for myself.Â
I will pretty much never get take out unless my whole family is getting it, and even then, I try to just have leftovers or cook my own meal instead. If I HAVE to get take out, I try to get the lowest cÂȘl thing I possibly can.
11. Avoiding bınges/munchies:
Out of everything, I would say avoiding bınges is the hardest psychological aspect to get past. I smÂșke đ every night to sleep, so I be getting the munchies really bad sometimes, and sometimes it feels like there's only so much to do before my brain goes "fuck it" and starts Éating everything in sight. These are basic, but here are the things that have worked the best for me consistently:
Sparkling water/flavored diÉt drinks. You get the satisfaction of having some sort of flavor on your tongue without the consequences of Éating, and takes up room in your stomach to trigger fullness hormones.
Gum (especially mint flavor) tricks my brain into thinking I'm Éating something + mint works as an appÉtite suppressÂȘnt.
Staying busy is the biggest thing, always be doing something that is tedious or involves a lot of focus. I'm very easily distractable regardless, but the second I've really set my attention to one thing, I don't think about anything else. Read/listen to a book, get out of the house and wander for a bit, go for a drive, watch a movie, do a craft, online window shop, play a computer/mobile game, clean/organize. I will very frequently leave my house to wander aimlessly around a store just to get away from any fÂșod.
When in doubt, sleep it off. At night especially, I'm too lazy to really do all that much so if I feel like I'm going to lose my grip on reality, spark up another bowl and pass tf out. Can't Éat if I'm sleepin'!
ChÉw/Spıt: I feel like this used to be more popular with Éd ppl a few years ago but I hardly see anyone talk about doing it now. I do this mostly with mÉals I don't want to Éat when I'm fÂȘsting or with all the trash I would want to bınge on and it honestly works really well for me! You do probably end up consuming a very small amount of the cÂȘlories, but I always make sure to spıt everything out really well and rinse my mouth/brush my teeth right after.
And that's all I think. Thank you for reading! I spent a lot of time on this so reblogs are appreciated! I hope some of this is at least somewhat helpful to anyone. If y'all have any questions, reach out! Please stay safe, help is always out there whenever you need it. Cheers!
#ana male#male 3d#male ed#thinspĂž#m3alsp0#m3alspo#meanspĂž#m3ansp0#eg0sp0#4n4t1ps#4n4rexia#4n4blr#th!n$piration#th1nnsp0#th!nsp0#starv1ng#st4rv1ng#3d tips#3d not sheeran#3d but not sheeren#i wanna be sk1nn1#sk1n4ndđŠŽ#ana b0y#b0dy ch3ck#b0n3sp0#b0dych3x#pro for me not for thee
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I finished acotar a while ago and I was gonna write a review right away but then christmas happened and I was pretty busy and wanted to enjoy myself so youre getting like two weeks late
It was fine, I really didnt have any strong feelings about the book itself. Like, my main complaints are that it was pretty boring and directionless for most of it and stuff thats mainly related to the next books, if I just look at it as a standalone I would describe it as "not for me, but not that bad"
That is, until we get to Under The Mountain, where everything just gets really stupid and convoluted. That whole section, which is a solid fourth or fifth of the whole book, severely clashes with the sweet fairytale romance that came before it. It reminds me of how all those twilight-knockoff trilogies in the 2010s would have two pretty low-stakes books worth of basically only romance with some weird magic sprinkled on top, and then in the last book it would turn out that the protagonist and her beloved need to Go To War or the world will end except even worse (also now that I think about it, the first three acotar books also seem to be structed like that, so youre getting two shitty plot structures in one. yayyyyyyy)
There was literally no reason for all of that happen, it was honestly just unpleasant reading about Feyre, who had spent the book recovering from her trauma in a way that was genuinely pretty nice to read about, being tortured for three months until she was feeling worse than she ever had before. And some people might say "oh, thats the point, its meant to be tragic" but it didnt feel like tragedy, it just felt tonally dissonant. Also, the entire ending was so weird and dragged out, like that bit where she and Tamlin are staying one last night UTM for some reason and then she talks to Rhysand before they finally leave and its like, BRO dont stay in the Palace of Torments for any longer than you have to, just leave through that portal-tunnel thing
Speaking of Rhysand, he wasnt that bad in this book but Im sure my opinion on him will change. The main thing that sticks out about him is how sjm simply could not resist ALREADY explaining all of his motivations and portraying him as someone whos obviously so noble, despite all the obviously horrific and completely unecessary shit hes doing. Like, theres that scene where Rhysand crushes that guy's brain when Amarantha ordered him to crush his mind and the narration goes "that was actually an act of mercy from Rhysand" ??? that mightve worked better in third person limited where youre working without the implication that the prose is the pov character's actual thoughts, but since its first person and meant to be Feyre's thoughts I was just like "why is she thinking that when she should be thinking 'holy fucking shit, i just signed my life over to a guy who could squish my mind like a grape if he wanted to?!?!?!!'"
Also, theres that scene where Rhysand comes into Feyres cell to "escape from it all" or whatever and he basically monologues to her about his sympathetic motivations and I just. sarah, girlie, you shouldve saved this shit for the second book. Like, rewrite the scene so that he just comes in eithout a word, hes totally unresponsive to Feyre insulting him or trying to ask him what hes doing here, he just sits down in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, he mutters something vague about just wanting to be left alone, maybe he's even got tears in his idk. I think that would be a far more effective way to have him be sympathetic in a more subtle way than just having him monologue his tragic circumstances and noble intentions at Feyre
Thats about it so far, I'll probably start reading ACOMAF in january when winter break is over and I can read it on the bus and in class again
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what of those who use rewrites and get harassed for it by... *those* kind of bright fans, like the type of "fan" that send threats, make nazi jokes, and so on, etc. like dont we also get some voice in venting? if i may share my vent:
i don't care if people wanna use bright, that's their choice good for them, but at most i want people to understand /why/ some people might be moving to a rewrite or a different character within the scp universe instead. and same thing goes for rewrite crowd to understand the same. its a spectrum, two extreme ends with a lot of grey in between it. bullying, sending threats, etc whatever from all sides isn't going to help anything.
i personally moved to rewrite because it just felt the best thing to do morally. i like to follow morals, and the moral said to rewrite something new. am i going to bully people and go "delete bright boo!!" no. i could never.
things i do agree: for the character to be deleted, or at least archived the same way the original 166 file was archived on the wiki with a big ass disclaimer, and keep the tales provided by they were written by other uses and not adminbright (example, keeping Major Tom but deleting Code Brown)
things i dont agree: bullying people who chose to either use bright or use a rewrite. agree to disagree.
Everyone can vent if theyâd like and your welcome to vent here if youâd like but please just keep in mind that this is primarily meant to be a safe space for Bright users as well as being a place for my thoughts meaning I wonât exactly be impartial or neutral. I however do not condone any harassment and agree that everyone should be able to do whatever theyâd like without fear of harassment.
Also I feel like the reason Bright fans vent more here on Tumblr is because rewrites are much more prevalent here and they also get much more support whereas Bright users are simply not allowed to speak in a lot of spaces. Of course this doesnât justify any harassment but it may explain why some Bright fans go so far plus thereâs simply way more rewrite users then Bright users here on Tumblr especially in the Western side of the fandom so that of course means thereâs a larger percentage of them whoâve received harassment compared to the few Bright users.
Also also Iâm not a big fan of the morality argument, I just feel like basing your interests off of what others tell you is ok to like/support can get depressing pretty quickly. Obviously you shouldnât financially support bad companies/people but I feel like just straight up not being allowed to simply enjoy something or talk about it is going too far especially when it comes to something as harmless as a character. Of course the choice is yours however Iâd just advise you to only follow your own idea of whatâs morally correct and not let others bully you into doing what they think is right.
As for character Bright I believe he belongs to everyone but his original author so I agree that AdminBrights works should be removed off the wiki or if possible do something similar to Ao3âs orphaned accounts/anonymous accounts that way even if removal canât be achieved then at least itâll limit AdminBrights reach with new users. Everyone elseâs works with Bright on the wiki should stay of course as theyâve done nothing wrong.
Anyways thisâll be the third or fourth time Iâve said this but do not send rewrite creators any hate or harassment I expect everyone here to act like adults regardless of age. If I find out anyone of my followers has been responsible for such asks/messages then me and my friends will put you on blast for all of Tumblr to see, this is not funny and your making the rest of us look immature.
#scp discourse#scp drama#scp dr bright#scp dr jack bright#dr bright#scp dr bright discourse#scp 963#anon scp confessions#everyone needs to grow up#be respectful#it better not be any of my followers sending these things
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i am so crasy abt ur tweet abt verdante being a tragedy its like in my mind at all times. like ,,, im rotating it in my head, im so ruined, this idea consumes me u do not understand i am opening up google docs and writing a fic im morose im captivated i am making an ao3 account
like ur so right 4 that one banger
KYAAAA ON MY KNEES... i have so much feelings on it u have no idea. twitter doesn't let me go ham but since we are on tumblr let me write a goddamn essay on this
the thing is that yes i enjoy both verdante being a romcom comedy or a tragedy or anything in between. ofc we'd like them to be happy but part of me like to explore what would happen if we really stayed canon-compliant
and like. let's take a look at them both. Vergilius is canonly someone who's weighed down by his past sins (killing and assassinating and orphaning children), who fully well accepts that he deserves the karma that comes for him (like this man literally is expecting it and doesn't fight it), yet he chooses to drag himself forward bc if he doesn't he will sink into despair. he is full of guilt and shame. verg also seems reluctant to form new bonds which is understandable considering that he lost everything prior to limbus, and how he doesn't want to drag people down with his karma, at the same time it would be extremely hard for him to trust people due to the risks of betrayal and manipulation in the city. he KNOWS that kindness and empathy will be consumed by the city if they don't adapt (see leviathan and his thoughts on garnet) therefore anyone would be wary bc there's always a catch. vergilius is also extremely duty bound to restoring garnet and lapis and it weighs down on him a lot
now i dont see Vergilius as oblivious bc the man would obviously recognise signs of attraction from Dante. but vergilius, despite his harsh exterior, is also kind deep down or at least practical, so taking the above into account, in this scenario he would probably outright address it to dante that he has... personal goals. maybe dante will be sacrificed at the end for limbus company as a whole, maybe not, but Verg makes it clear that he WILL choose lapis and garnet over dante bc that is his responsibility. what he owes to them.
executive manager, he doesn't say, do not be a fool.
and to his surprise, dante just nods and writes him, "I'm aware. It's ok, I understand."
bc dante respects him. they respect his space and not push anything at all (alongside how they probably feel that they are not worthy yet, or that they don't want to burden Vergilius, bc c'mon they're stumbling through their responsibilities after losing their memory, work is more important than personal interest now), i also like to think dante isn't say, self-depreciating, but more like they've accepted that they have so much to live up to and Vergilius has something to achieve and they will not stand in his way, so they're content to just spend time with Vergilius as manager and guide.
and there's that. they don't talk about it after the day. nothing changes between them. they continue on as manager and guide.
the only exception is that now Vergilius is aware that Dante fully accepts that he will sacrifice them for his own goals. yet Dante is content to spend time around him and vice versa (he doesn't admit it)
and isn't that the tragedy?
vergilius, to be aware that something could have sparked between the both of you, yet you cannot afford to cross the line due to circumstances. occasionally imagining what it could had been if the both of you were actually allowed to. how should you feel when the other person still seeks you out and befriends you despite knowing that you will never pick them
and dante, getting the confirmation that you will never be picked and will be the third or fourth or whatever choice but that's okay. manager and guide is enough, you WILL enjoy whatever there is between the both of you without asking for more
personally, unrequited love as a tragedy is not effective to me bc it's not that hard to respect another person's feelings and not make yourself the victim.
the REAL tragedy here is being aware of the lost potential and what-could-had-beens, yet IN SPITE OF THAT theres the quiet acceptance and humble enjoyment of whatever there is between the both of them bc that's all they can afford. how fate and the city fucked them both up. yet they stay professional because they respect each other too much (to the point of suppressing their personal feelings for the other) to make this into a hassle
maybe dante dies at the end of limbus and verg would reminisce on what it could had been. maybe verg dies and dante occasionally recalls the little moments they get to spend together. maybe they both die. maybe they both live but they walk a too different path to ever converge again. maybe we slap canon in the face and let them survive or meet up again in the future.
whatever it is, i just really enjoy the sweet sweet pining between the both of them throughout limbus company. the horrors of Knowing. i'm going to bite something
#chatter#limbus company#verdante#yes i am insane i am aware#i don't know if i phrased it as well as i wanted to but i want this out of my brain rn#basically verg tells dante bc god forbid them if they allow personal feelings get in the way of work#then he gets stunned when dante is alr fully aware of it yet they don't let it affect them#so now they're both stuck w the curse of Knowing#verg wise i can see a scenario where he actually slowly gets charmed by dante after this#but does it even matter bc he cannot do anything about it#augh i'm going to lay down#if u write a fic on it just know i will explode myself
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bestie, i need to know where your mind is at when it comes to this whole thing with leo and how you're rotating your mind :))
i've got a lot of thoughts of my own on this, namely that leo told that weird story about trying to fly when he was a child at david's funeral and how out of place that speech actually was, his comments in the past about david being the golden child while he was treated as a monster, leo forgiving paul (he could be pretending but i don't think so) and only referencing david when he was talking about how much paul had hurt HIM and so much more...
but i need to know what you're thinking :)
its an random story to tell, especially when leo already told a way better story back in 2019 about how David always played handball even when he was like. shit at it or whatever. why not tell that story again? why tell this weird story about...you. To me, I would say it's because flight, and flying away are very typical metaphors for escape, and wanting to escape. perhaps on purpose or not, leo's vision of his childhood is just...one long wish to be somewhere else as louise glĂŒck once said. And David was the thing that kept him there, or that prevented his escape by telling him he can't really fly. Something like that, if i was a pretentious overanalyser. which I am.
I think part of it is that I've always been a bit obsessed with the idea of 'living with it'. And this is like the ultimate case of how do I live with this?
I mean, look. David sucked when he came back. He lied to leo's face and left him. He punished Leo for something he didn't have any part in and didn't even tell him why. He told Leo to his face he thinks he's dangerous for Krista. he's mopey and selfish. he makes Leo run interference on Paul without even telling him what he's angry at Paul about. How can you look at that and see Leo as anything other than second, third or fourth place in Davids life?
Then David is gone and Leo...Is okay, actually. Yes he's sad at first because that was his twin brother but when he waits for the real grief to come it just doesn't. He's relieved actually. He's not carrying David around like a weight around his ankles. He can breathe without having to worry about David's judgement. Everyone around him is deeply grieving but Leo...is okay. He's going to work. He's looking after his daughter. He's even going to visit his mother. I've mentioned before that I think he was lying when he said he was 'letting it all out' at his mothers house...Well what if that is because there's nothing TO let out? He comes home, and Paul is being nice to Krista now and Leo well...He still loves Paul. That hasn't changed. Forgiving Paul for what happened to David is easy when he's not that angry anymore. Because he realizes maybe the thing he was angry about is less about David and more that Paul was willing to put Krista in danger? This is all baseless speculation of course here's the real part I am fascinated by -
David died because he LOVED Leo. Now how the hell are you meant to live with that when you wake up one morning horrified to realize you're RELIEVED your brother died? Leo didn't ask David to die for him, he just did it and now Leo has to live with that. Doesn't that fascinate you? It fascinates me! David died and now Leo has to live with it. He has to live with carrying his dead brother up a mountain. He has to live with the 'david died to save leo' and he never asked David to so that. he's glad to not be dead of course but he never asked for this and now it's his life. Is it David's fault? Maybe. But Leo's still the one living with it. Oh the angst potential is delicious!
And on a side note. To talk briefly about Cameron because of course I am going to talk about the triplets. Cameron hated Robert, and I dont think Elle hates him but Neighbours has drawn a lot of parallels between Leo and Elle/Cameron but NOT Leo and Robert. that's kinda interesting, aint it?
#neighbourspost#i love when characters just have to live with it.#like theres no real resolution you just have to carry it with you.#paul and julie. elle and robert. riley and didge. now David and Leo
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Ty for tagging me! But uhm... I have no excuse for the number. Anyone is free to question any of these! I make NO promises on posting any though because... well... most are PURELY self-indulgent which normally equals crappy writing (because we ALL gotta crap write sometimes) and I hate editing XD
also yes, I do have descriptions in my own titles because how am I supposed to remember what the hell I wrote??? XD
Aeress Umbra (FW)
Aeress & Amethyst - Eragon
A Creature of the Sky (continental shifter)
Veritatem Dies Aperit - Eris Healing Fic
Assassin Master (Azriel x OC) - shit writing <- Yes, for some reason, I actually put "shit writing" in the title of the doc LMAO
eris period comfort - hot flash
Poly!Bat boys (subspace az)
Kingdom of Ash and Bones
Fourth Wing Rebel's Child - crappy
Narrative Gone Wrong (feyre died)
Xaden's Teacher - FIN (ish)
HTTYD My Story
Updated FW Story - Aeress Umbra
a/b/o universe <- A wide collection of OC and azris
I Could Never Forget You <- Request that wanted more that I forgot about until now omg im so sorry
Spy of Azriel's - (ANGST wings)
club cazriel (switch!az)
(7) TOG The Fourteenth
(6) TOG Maeve's Mercenary
(2) TOG Assassin
(1) TOG Whitethorn
Dad!Helion, traumatized!son!Eris
non est vivere sed valere vita est ("Life is more than just being alive")
A Third Rowaelinrys
Memento Vivere - Lucien Healing
BDSM Helion and Azriel
Tamlin's Redemption - xReader
Azris Sickfic
unnamed eris x reader fic <- if you're going to ask about a fic, ask about this one because while it remains unnamed it is SUCH a good concept
A Sister For the Ages (Eris's and Aelin's) <- Already fully explained this fic idea in detail, will link it if anyone is interested
(3) TOG Goddess
(4) TOG Multiversal
(5) TOG Galathynius
Club modern!au fics
eris angst story
Illyrian Lieutenant
Merfolk AUs
Not Free Yet
War never was pretty
HOLY SHIT. WHY IS THERE SO MANY. I DONT EVEN KNOW 39 PEOPLE. WHY DO I REFUSE TO FINISH FICS- THERE'S MORE IN OTHER FANDOMS THAT I HAVE MOSTLY ABANDONED. THE COUNT IS PROBABLY REACHING 100+ IF I COUNTED THOSE- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(ALSO HOW DO PEOPLE ONLY HAVE THREE WIPS??? HELLO??? ARE YOU NOT CONSUMED BY YOUR OWN MIND PALACE??? maybe that's the audhd speaking though... hmm...)
if you can't tell by now I've gone insane. but insanity brings better ideas >:)
anyway, for anyone I tag, you are free to do whatever you wish and if you're already tagged, I sincerely apologize XD
a merry crisis to all (and a late happy solstice)
@sizzlingstarlightsky @potatoplace @futurehunt @leafsandstarlight @historiaxvanserra @ladylokilaufeyson5 @iftheshoef1tz @augustinerose @fieldofdaisiies
Thanks for the tag @olenvasynyt and @sapphiresandgold
WIP FOLDER GAME:
Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Tag as many people as you have wips. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!
Lots of abandoned drafts but I'll focus on the ones I'm working on-ish:
Torpe
Wolf's Den
RomanceWeek Favorite Trope
No pressure tags!
@bonecarversbestie @sad-scarred-sassy @clarafae @sadiegirl2021 @sunshinebingo
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IF REQUESTS ARE OPEN THEN ILL ASK FOR(IF YOUâVE WATCHED) HANAKO KUN CAMILO X NENE YASHIRO READER
IF YOU HAVENT, THEN MAYBE JUST CUDDLING FLUFF WITH HIM
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đ¶đđ·đ·đżđŒđđș đ»đžđŽđ·đ¶đŽđđđđ - đŹđ”đȘđšđ”đ»đ¶
âĄïž đđđđđđđđđđ. camilo madrigal, carlos madrigal, mirabel madrigal, luisa madrigal.
âĄïž đđđđđđđ. none!! except some encanto spoilers-
âĄïž đđđđ. i decided to add most of the madrigal grandkids!! and carlos cause why wouldnt i. i also havent watched tbhk yet but ill watch it soon!!
first on the most to want to cuddle list is.. LUISA MADRIGAL!
she is definitely a cuddly person. you cant change my mind. shes afraid she'll crush you to death in her sleep though, so the cuddles have to be you hugging her so that she wont.. crush you.
i think she likes being little spoon! but if you need comforting or whatever, shes happy to be big spoon!
cuddling with her is super fun, and she definitely cuddles with you when she needs comforting. like when she feels weak, or when her gift was fading. you're her comfort!!! youre the person who she looks to for comfort and reassurance
sometimes when you cuddle and shes sad, shes fine with silence. she just needs you with her.
second on the list is.. MIRABEL MADRIGAL!
she is definitely someone who will hug you even if youre sleeping together, just walking, sad, or anything! hugs are her thing! i hc her as an extremely affectionate person so cuddles are a must. i cannot guarantee if you two are cuddling and you want to just talk to eachother that she wont fall asleep on accident.
whenever you two cuddle, if mirabel or you dont fall asleep, you two are talking about random things you think are interesting. or like when she saw the house breaking, when she was tio bruno, etc etc. you two are always talking about that when you cuddle.
she probably switches between big spoon and little spoon, but most of the time shes little spoon!
when you two talk about secrets (or isabela before the whole casita breaking and gifts fading thing happening) but you have to be extra quiet!! cause dolores might hear you!! or antonio since theyre in the same room.
also she'll play with your hair if shes big spoon, but you better play with hers when shes little spoon >:/
speaking of antonio!! he always asks if he can join in or if he can hear what you two are talking about like any normal five year old would.
in third place we haaave.. *trumpet sounds* .. CAMILO MADRIGAL!
he strikes me as the type of guy to cuddle often. like luisa, he cuddles with you when he needs comfort or reassurance. cuddles with him are either silent or you two are having a conversation.
or when you dont feel like talking (like if your throat hurts or something) he's happy to ramble on whatever he can think about! or let you hear whatever little song he made up! (and yes im headcanoning that he makes up songs cause im also headcanoning that hes a theater kid.)
i feel like hes more of a little spoon, but i think he likes pillow talk instead of spooning a lot more. (one time you two were talking about why it was called spooning. you settled on it being cause some peoples body shapes are like spoons.)
fourth is.. CARLOS MADRIGAL!
look, he may not seem like the type of guy to like to cuddle but believe me he does. he secretly does. dont tell anyone about it though, he doesnt want to seem like his brother camilo >:/
hes a big spoon. but i swear if you somehow convince him to be little spoon he'll ask you if you can be big spoon from now on.
he doesnt really have a preference, but hes kind of likes spooning a lot more.
cuddles with him are really quiet, he doesnt talk alot and probably would playfully/jokingly tease you if youre rambling while youre cuddling.
but of course, he'll still listen to you talk about whatever youre talking about. i feel like he'd research on what you're talking about so next time you're cuddling or talking in general he'll know what you mean or throw in some theories or facts here and there.
âĄïž đđđđ. you can tell i have a favorite. BUT OMG MY FIRST ENCANTO HCS I HOPE THAT WAS OKAY
#âĄïžmanta.writes#encanto x reader#mirabel madrigal x reader#camilo madrigal x reader#luisa madrigal x reader#carlos madrigal x reader#you can tell i have a favorite here
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What do you think first kiss with skz be like?
aAWH SOME FLUFF T-T OK BUT KEEP IN MIND- fluff is not my strongest pursuit hence why im not a fluff writer hahsah but HEY ITS CUTE!! and anon,,, im so sorry this took such time IM SO SO SORRY AAAAAAAAH-Â
also this makes me wanna know my anons first kiss story, AAAH SPILL THEMÂ
warnings; none?? fluff,,, wow,, rare to say that LMAO- also gn!reader and also suggestiveee??
Bangchan
~gentleman~
will only kiss you if you are REALLY ready for it and if the two of you are dating
doesnt want to rush you into things (even if its just a kiss) because he doesnt know how comfortable you are and such
basically a sweetheart
i imagine its like a cute little date
 night where you guys are stargazing, lying on a blanket on a grassy hill with his arm as a pillow for your head
âchan, look! its a shooting star! make a wishâ you giggle to which he smiles, looking at your pretty features that are lit up by the moonlight
âhmm,,, dear star, i wish that y/n would kiss meâ he says, laughing directly after but soon being interupted as you attach your plushy lips against his
its probably the most romantic event in your life
him smiling into the kiss as your tongues danced around softly
when you pulled away you laughed, saying;Â âwishes do really come true, huh?â
poor baby is blushing, his ears red but thankfully for him its too dark for you to see
Minho
the âevil roommate that secretly has feelings for youâ
âlee minho i swear im gonna rip your hair off if you touch my plants againâ
minho got out of his room, looking at you standing in the living room and rearranging the plants on the windowsillÂ
âthey are all scattered, itâs uglyâ he says rudely
âdont call my children uglyâ you spit back at himÂ
there was always a weird tension between you and minho. you were glad to have found a roommate that made a good friend eventhough he was a pain in the ass sometimes
minho liked you,,, and therefore he did everything the opposite of what he felt. if he wanted to compliment you on your outfit he would instead say that you looked âoverdressedâ or âtoo muchâ but you always rolled your eyes towards his snarky comments
you pecked your plants, giving them the love they needed and minho just stood frozen in the doorway, without thinking he spoke
âhow come you never do that to me?â
silence
you sneered, placing down the plant you held and streched out your arms
âcâmere if you dareâ you said jokingly, not expecting the boy you always thought was so devilish to run into your arms, lips touching and your eyes widening at the unexpected action
the two of you held each other, breathing shaky as wet tongues collided, the sun beaming upon your figures
âm-minho,,, it was a joke!â you laughed, slapping his arm playfully as you pulled away
âbut to me it wasnâtâ he remarked cockily, licking the inside of his cheek
Changbin
very much giving me like âwe dont like each other but we have to work with each otherâ
like you two are co-workers, working in a boring office and you were assigned to put together this one report and,,, lets say Changbin wasnt your favorite in the office
there was nothing wrong with him,,, its just his vibe that was off putting but sigh,,, work is work
you started compiling information, sitting in a seperate room and drawing graphs on the whiteboard, projecting some other type of research onto the board
âdo you think we will need to stay late?â he asks, ruffling his hair in frustration
you sigh and nod, this wasnt going to get done anytime soon.
dawn set on horizon and the others workers packed up their belonging one by one and left until there was only you and changbin left in the now quiet office
you sat next to him, yawning as you typed something as you felt him looking at you
you looked back with a questionable expression, confused when he uttered his words
âdo you hate me, y/n?â
âi mean,,, you are a dick sometimes but i dont hate you, at least you do your workâ
he shrugged his shoulders, loosening his necktie as he leaned back into the office chair
âa dick, huh? maybe i try to push you away so you wont catch the same feelings i have for youâ
you snapped your head towards him. you couldnt lie, he was attractive and at this point you were desperateÂ
âkiss me thenâ you said simply causing the boy to immediately cup your cheeks, latching onto your lips as if heâd waited for this moment for forever
more tongue, wants you to feel him ;))
lets just say,,, he made it up to you
Hyunjin
i get this like,,, youthful vibe,,, like the two of you were childhood friends
and,,, eventually you catch feelings for him which you hate because,,, you dont want to ruin this friendshipÂ
every time somebody mistook you for a couple the both of you would make retching noises, mocking each other
âyou think my standards are that low?â hyunjin says pointing at you to which you raise your fist
âhwang hyunjin, youâre dead meatâ
but,,, he was only in denial, it was his childhood friend afterall
probably happened at one of those night where your mom was working late and you invited hyunjin to keep you company, him bringing kkami as well.Â
âdont fucking burn the pizza, hyunjinâ you say, petting kkami until the little rascal ran away from your lap
âif you helped it wouldnt be burnedâ he replies as he comes out with two plates with the pizza burned on the edges
âbut if they taste bad you can always taste my lipsâ he jokes and you look at him with a disgusted facial expression before laughing
âi bet they taste even worse then your mess of a pizza, i would like to see you try to even get me to peck youâ you scoff and hyunjin rolls his eyes, sitting next to you on the sofa
âtry it thenâ he taunts but is taken aback when you actually kiss him, your nose accidentally brushing against his as you purse your lips, hyunjin timidly using his tongue to test the waters
he wanted it so bad and he finally got it >:(( he could swear that he heard fireworks going off in his brain
a moment of silence appeared until hyunjin cockily uttered:
âso,,, did they taste better?â
Jisung
the âi met you at a party and made out with you drunkâ
he stared at you the entire night, catching glances while you looked away and the music blared in the nightclub that was packed with people.
you ordered a drink at the bar, tapping your fingers on the oak surface where you rested your arms, suddenly somebody bumped into you
turning around you saw jisung and you sighed, thinking his behaviour was starting to get annoying
âoh its you againâ you said loud for him to hear as he sat down next to you, having a annoying smirk plastered on his lips
âlooks like you are having fun, let me guess,,, youâre trying to get over your exâ jisung says, leaning his elbow against the bar and you glared at him because it was true
you scoffed, avoiding his question and instead sipping on the sour drink you had in your hands, trying to forget everything
he was attractive which only pissed you off even more, as if you hadnt had enough pretentious assholes in your life
the glass slammed against the table as you put it down harshly, gazing into the boys dark brown eyes
âalright, deal. make me forget then since you think you know everything about meâ you stated to which jisung raised his eyebrow
the palm of his hand was firmly placed on the bar as he leaned in to kiss you, feeling the bitter liquour hitting his tastebuds as your tongues crashed against each other
it felt,,, freeing. you swung your arms around his neck, wanting him closer to your body
by the way he was kissing you, you could tell that he was there for the same reason as you. a sloppy and heated kiss to fill your thoughts with something other than your ex
safe to say that the kiss progressed ;))))
Felix
aaah cutie boyfriend that is just too shy to even give you a kiss like 3 months into the relationship (OK DONT ATTACK ME NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME, NO RUSH YOU GUYS)
he is shy with pretty much everything, it was only recently he could hold your hand without his heart jumping out of his chest.
it was a simple date night! takeout and games at his place
you layed your head in his lap as you watched him finish up the game that you had given up on a long time ago
he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not used to being so close to such a pretty person before
âah- fuck! i lost again,,,â he says in defeat, his head rolling backwards before a frustrated sigh escaped his lips
âyou did well felix! look how far you got!â you say, pointing towards the score on the screen but not getting his attention.Â
you sat up, looking at him for a moment as his eyelashes lightly draped over his closed eyes, cheeks speckled with freckles
you couldnt help yourself, he looked so angelic despite being defeated and so you leaned in, lacing your fingers with his and softly placing your lips against his
he opened his eyes in panic before being swallowed by the fluffy feeling of having your lips to himself, he giggled before stroking your cheek as he tilted his head, almost setting a rhythm to the sweet kiss
felix started laughing shyly, cheeks tinged with red as he hid his face with a pillow
âbut you won my kiss!â you said through a smile causing felix to blush even more
Seungmin
its like,,, maybe,,, your third or fourth date??
this one is more chill than the previous ones that were at like some fancy restaurang because hello dandy puppy boy wants class
but this one was like a stroll down the night streets and eating ice cream in the middle of the summer
both of you were casually dressed, holding hands as butterflies bubbled in your stomach from the contact
his hand is all warm and it engulfs yours >:(
you look at all the pretty sights of the night, eventually climbing up to some like high point and looking down at all the lights that blinked
after a good 1 1/2 hours of walking your legs were starting to ache and so you both sat down on the swings of a desolate playground, swinging gently with your legs dangling
âi dont understand how youâre able to,,, even be friends with me,,, or whatever we are,,â
seungmin hummed, looking up into the night sky
âi promise y/n, i will be your,,, friend but,,,â
you looked at him as he said âbutâ, imagining the worstÂ
âi dont wanna be friends, i wanna be more than a friend to youâ
his eyes twinkled as he stood up and stood infront of you, grabbing your hand
you slowly looked up at him, his figure standing in the way of the moon as the two of you shared a long gaze, his eyes as sweet as honey, dripping with pure adoration
you pulled him closer by the hand and slowly he inched to your lips, the distance between you minimizing as his face tilted to the right, a delicate and sugary kiss landing on your tastebuds from the ice cream from earlier.
your heart skipped a beat, the slightest sound of lips smacking
âi think i love you y/nâ he whispered close to your lips after pulling away.Â
Jeongin
like,,, uni buddies!Â
both being med students meant late study night, usually in schoolÂ
thereâs papers and diagrams laid out all over the tables and floors along with a bunch of energy drink cans, some scribbles on the whiteboardÂ
the two of you were friends and met in uni and everyone had always nagged at you for not going after him since he was everything someone ever wanted
you always said that you were friends and that you couldnt imagine being in a relationship with jeongin
but studying with him alone into the deep night felt different, many times you couldnt concentrate when he looked so cute sitting right beside you
being close friends, there was nothing weird about hugging or leaning against each other and so you leaned against his shoulder and yawned as the cozy boy was rewriting some notes.Â
âone hour left y/n and then- then we can go hoooome!â
you giggled as you looked at him and he diverted his attention from his papers to you, his lips only mere inches from yours
you didnt know what the fuck you were doing and neither did jeongin, it was late and the both of you were tired from studying for finals
and so your lips drew closer until they clashed, feeling a tension that youâve never felt with him before
heâs definitely a shy,,, kisser?? not too much tongue since he doesnt know how LMAO so its like soft >:((
didnt know what to do when he pulled away, looking around the room or covering his blushing face with his hands but when you hug him he hugs you back
maybe even coming to terms that he does have feeling for you,,, and so do you~Â
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youâre going to get tired at 20
youâre going to want to give upÂ
all the nights staying awake to write a damn paper about Freud or Socrates or Whatever His Damn Name Is it doensât really matter
doing all this to chase nights where youâll create memories that will last forever but really you canât even remember them when you wake up
20 is yelling at your roommates to clean their dishes and also wishing you had the funds to eat meals like them
its being disappointed that you arenât making friends as fast as freshman year but also cherishing the good ones youâve found that havenât left yet
reaching an all time high and the next day finding yourself at the loneliest place called rock bottom
but what they dont tell you about 20 is that realizing rock bottom can be a beautiful place too
because just when you are about give in to the pain of it all a beam of light shines into the abyss signaling that you wonât be there forever
you then become thankful that youâve made the scary journey to the depths of your all time low
because the only place you can go from there is up and the contrast feels damn good
20 is finding the boy that finally treats you right after falling in love twice before and then realizing you arenât ready for his love
why? why is he everything i want and need on paper but our compatibility is the kind of ink that is just meant to stay on paper and never leave that plane
its not about learning what love is and isnt meant for you but its realizing you havent gotten to know yourself enough to know whats best for you
20 is about romanticizing about building a house in the North East with that boy you let go of to make you more excited about the future
its about creating a happy distraction that will prevent you from returning to rock bottom
if only we could paint our bedroom Sage Green and cook lemon pasta in the kitchen together
20 is about realizing your role models arenât as perfect as you want them to be
doing everything in your power to protect your inner child
its about compartmentalizing the trauma to pretend like everything is the same
my childhood was stable and my current life is too
then suddenly learning this lie was more damaging to my inner child more than anything and you just need to face the musicÂ
20 is about reminding yourself of the people in your past life that will always be there
and getting the horrible feeling that they are not who they used to be and you are left with nothing but your lonely self
but then remembering that your mind can lie to you and this is the worst betrayal you can experience
20 is learning to be patient
flipping that slow Grandma off driving in front of you wont get you there any faster
texting the wrong people impulsively because your emotional wont make your emotions any better the next day
but most importantly its about learning how to be patient with yourself
you dont need to rush to answer your phone, they can wait a few more minutes
you dont need to rush your healing process, life is right in front of you
20 is understanding empathy towards people around you
getting angry at your friend for not being there during your time of grief does not mean she doesnât care
it means shes probably grieving in her own way too and she deserves more communication
be there for her the way youâd want other to be there for you too
she may need a rope to pull her up from rock bottom
20 is about academic and professional success
finally achieving straight As but forgetting you need to work even harder next time to do it again
its about landing an interview at your dream job and making it to the last round to get rejected
later accepting your second or third or fourth or maybe a choice that was never on your radar
but knowing it was a stepping stone to your next dream and woohoo we can put it on my resume
20 is about reconnecting with family after growing a part from them
having a moment of disbelief when your mom yells at your dad for absolutely nothing but maybe breathing at the wrong moment or getting whole milk instead of soy
and realizing that the bad traits your mom possess are the same ones that pushed away the boy you loved
its about finally understanding why she behaves the way she does
but more importantly not pushing negative generational habits onto those you care about because it is up to ourselves to break that pattern
20 is about not knowing when to get off social media
its about getting a suspicion that its one of the causes for your anxiety and insecurities
stalking your ex boyfriends one time hook up from freshman year wont make you feel any better
if sheâs prettier than youâll compare yourself and if sheâs not then youâll wonder why youâre with a guy that would go for a girl like herÂ
either way youâll end up questioning your own self worth
slowly swiping to the right on a Snapchat message that says âHey whatâs up?â and being disappointed when its not something more interestingÂ
checking Snap Maps every three minutes wonât make them reply faster
20 is about the biological makeup of our bodies
checking your phone first thing in the morning will just create an unrealistic goal for your brain to reach that same rush of seratonin it feels
reading a book and even having a good conversation with a friend isnât enough to reach that level you felt earlier that day
its about finding a meditation or exercise that will get your body to a natural high
20 is about mourning yourself that you arent 19 or 18 or 17 anymore
aging is scary but not knowing yourself is even scarier
its about realizing that getting older isnt bad but its a chance to be better than yesterday
i turned 21 last week
21 is about loving myself for who i was when i was 20 and celebrating who i will be today and who i will become tomorrowÂ
n.m.b.
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Fate and Phantasms #203
Today on Fate and Phantasms, we've only got one goal in mind: Golems! Thanks to Avicebron, we'll make just that; lots and lots of golems! Avicebron is a Battle Smith Artificer, so you'll always have at least one on standby.
Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!
Next up: I did naht kill him, I did naht. Oh hi Mark.
Race and Background
Avvy might not look it, but he's still a Variant Human, giving him +1 Intelligence and Wisdom, plus proficiency with Deception to keep your mentees close and your golem ingredients just as close, plus you get the Servo Crafting feat! You can cast Find Familiar as a ritual, but instead of getting an animal, you build a small golem called a Servo. You can speak with and through the servo, plus sense through it, as long as you share a plane of existence. You can also attack with the servo instead of your wimpy noodlearms once per attack action.
You're also a Cloistered Scholar, which gives you History and Religion proficiency. You are nerd! No duh!
Ability Scores
Your Intelligence should be pretty high, you make golems and you don't afraid of anything, that's what you do. After that is Dexterity, you're better off not getting hit than anything else, and also having 4 arms means you're pretty good at sleight of hand. Wisdom is also pretty good, you're a religious man, and while you don't get power from that you're still wise. Unfortunately we gotta make Strength the next highest stat. I mean, two of your arms are robots, so I guess it kinda works? Your Charisma is pretty low, you just don't care about people that much, but we're dumping Constitution. Trust me, it'll make sense in a bit. (Don't do this in-game, this is a flavor thing, you WILL DIE)
Class Levels
You're 100% artificer, so you start off with Magical Tinkering, letting you stuff minor magical effects into tiny items. I don't know why you'd make a fart sound producing golem out of a pen, but I'm not Avicebron. You also learn Spells. They use your Intelligence score for prep and casting. Grab Mage Hand to build a little drone to carry stuff for you, and Message for a messenger golem. Really you can take whatever spells you like as long as you call them golems, but the most golemy are Alarm golem and Catapult golem. Why throw stuff when you can just make it throw itself? You also get proficiency in a buncha stuff, like Constitution and Intelligence saves, plus Nature to figure out good materials for golems and Arcana to build them!
Second level artificers can Infuse Items, adding cool effects to up to two items per long rest from a list of four options. Grab Armor of Tools so you'll always have your golem-making kit on ya, Enhanced Arcane Focus for stronger golems, Homunculus Servant for a golem, and Mind Sharpener to help keep track of your golems. I can already tell golem isn't even gonna look like a word by the end of this build.
Your artificer subclass is the Battle Smith, which makes you Battle Ready, so your golems can use martial weapons. Of course you're not swinging them yourself, so you can use your intelligence instead of strength when attacking with magical weapons. You also get a second permanent golem, the Steel Defender! You gotta use your bonus action to make it do stuff, but it'll hit people, repair stuff, and protect its allies! Also, you can cast Mending on it to heal it. You don't have that yet, but you will! You can also make The Right Tool for the Job over a long rest, and you also get subclass spells for free. Heroism makes a very pretty golem that inspires all your allies to not get scared and get temporary HP. Shield makes a golem that'll stand in front of someone as a reaction, adding 5 to their AC and blocking magic missiles for a round.
Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Intelligence. You use it for pretty much everything, so your brain's gotta be good!
Fifth level battlesmiths get an Extra Attack, so your servo, your steel defender, and your sword-holding golem can all attack at the same time. You also get second level spells, like Branding Smite and Warding Bond. Neither of those are golems tho. Grab Rope Trick for the first of many rope golems, and Enlarge/Reduce for later. Adam's a big boy, so you've gotta make a big golem.
Sixth level artificers get Tool Expertise, doubling your proficiency bonus with all tools. Golem making is complicated, the DCs are gonna be high. You also get two more blueprints and one more infused item, like a Spell-Refueling Ring for extra spell slots and a Rope of Climbing for another rope-based golem to help your bad climbing skills.
At seventh level you get so smart you have Flashes of Genius, adding your intelligence modifier to checks and saves near you intelligence modifier times per long rest. Yeah, it's actually just weirdly specific golems.
Bump up your Intelligence this ASI for more of everything you like. Smrt.
Ninth level battle smiths add an Arcane Jolt to their steel defender and magical weapons. Once per turn, intelligence modifier times per long rest, you can either add extra force damage to the hit, or heal a nearby creature. Still not sure how to make those golems, but you'll figure something out, you've got 20 Intelligence! You also get third level spells, like an Aura of Vitality golem and a Conjure Barrage golem. You can also can Create Food and Water golems for gathering, or turn just about anything into a Tiny Servant. For up to 8 hours after casting, you can turn a tiny object into a tiny creature, commanding it as a bonus action. Finally, a spell that makes golems! You can also use Glyph of Warding now, though it won't be that useful for the build until you get fourth level spells. The idea is, you can keep a bunch of these bad boys in your base, all set to trigger against a creature that knocks you down to 0 HP. All of them summon constructs, beating up the guy after you're already unconscious. This is the closest we could get to Avicebron's third skill, D&D doesn't really plan for character death that well. Also, just a correction. I just found out you can't carry glyphs around without them breaking :(
Tenth level artificers are Magic Item Adepts, giving you an extra attunement slot and you can create uncommon magic items for cheaper. You also get the Mending cantrip for golems, and two more blueprints for an extra infused item. The Helm of Awareness will help you stay out of trouble, and the Periapt of Wound Closure makes it easier to not die. Your master strategy is all about getting knocked out, so it would be nice if you automatically stabilize.
Eleventh level artificers can create Spell-Storing Items, stuffing weapons or focii full of first/second level magical goodness. It's like you're casting the spell, but it uses the other guy's concentration.
Another ASI! Bump up your Dexterity for less dying.
With fourth level spells, you can cast all sorts of golems. You're stuck with Aura of Purity and Fire Shield, but you also get an Arcane Eye for a drone golem, plus Mordenkainen's Faithful Hound and Summon Construct for fighting golems.
As a Magic Item Savant you get another attunement slot, and you can ignore requirements when attuning magic items. You also get the Prestidigitation cantrip to make whatever small tools you need for a second, and two more blueprints for one more infusion. Bracers of Defense will help you not die if you don't think Avicebron's outfit is armor, and the Ring of Protection will also do that regardless.
At fifteenth level you get your last subclass improvement, the Improved Defender. Your arcane jolt gets bigger, and your golem gets tougher and can reflect damage, not just deflect it.
Use the rest of your ASI to bump up your Wisdom. Making yourself better isn't in character, so just be wise.
You've got fifth level spells! Banishing smite isn't a golem, but I guess Mass Cure Wounds could be Adam's feet? Idk. You can also use Bigby's Hand for Adam's hand, and Animate Objects for more item-based golems. Now you can turn your trusty frying pan into a-golem. Everything turns into a golem.
Eighteenth level artificers are Magic Item Masters, letting you attune to six items at the same time. You also get two more blueprints, so grab two copies of Arcane Propulsion Arm for the four arms of your third ascension. Arms are cool.
One last ASI, grab more Wisdom.
Your capstone ability grants you a Soul of Artifice, giving you a +1 bonus to all your saves for each magic item you're attuned to, and you can destroy an infusion to drop to 1 HP instead of 0. Remember, getting KOd only helps if you're near one of your glyphs.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
Between your Steel Defender, servo, tiny servants, and animated objects, you don't have to do much. Plus you can just rope trick away and let them take care of everything!
If your DM ever tries to spook the party by fighting you in your own base, you can spook him right back by taking a fall and filling your study with angry golems.
With expertise and flashes to help your repairs along plus mending, you're a great repairman. If the DM tries to block your path with a broken bridge, it won't stay broken for long. Plus, your warforged allies will love you.
Cons:
DONT DUMP CON. You have less than 100 HP at level 20, and your constitution save is really bad (for an artificer). Don't do it. Look me in the eyes, don't. do it!
Having any part of your battle plan being getting knocked out is not going to make you popular with your party members. Maybe you should help out yourself? Nah, golems are better.
All of your infusions and spells are focused on helping yourself, a stark contrast to most of our artificer builds. Keeping all your toys to yourself will not help your party like you, especially with a +0 charisma.
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harry coming out ft. romione, wolfstar and jilyÂ
firstly itâs #everybody lives au bcs @dzaddyjamespotter is a slut for that and this idea is a birthed by our collective braincell. also theres no peter bcs i cba about his characterisation lol sorry
itâs harryâs third year and he had his sexual awakening when cedric diggory obliterated his ass at quidditch
professor rj lupin is very observant (esp to his godson) and will notice harryâs not-so subtle heart eyes for cedric
writes this to sirius but asks him to keep quiet about it and wait for harry to open up about it first
sirius will be over the moon (lol) and will be very excited about it. he will push remus to spy on harry and see if his godson had plans to pursue cedric but remus will ofc remind sirius that he is a professor and harryâs uncle and therefore it will be highly unethical and invasive (tho he was tempted for a while)
harry first comes out to ron and hermioneÂ
hermione, being the sole owner of braincells among them, is more than interested to talk about sexuality to harry but it gets to the point where harry gets overwhelmed bcs âgeez hermione, iâm just saying i fancy cedric. i dont plan to see another blokeâs prick any time soon!â âi know, harrold, and im just saying itâs important to know......â
ron will be silent like heâs analyzing the implications of harry being queer. then, âyou⊠want to kiss me?â âbRO, NO! i want to kiss cedric! ....oh shtâ âBROOO YOU WANT TO KISS CEDRIC DIGGORY THE HUFFLEPUFF SEEKER--â
ron will keep asking harry if harry was attracted to him even at least at one point
 so then came christmas break in their fourth year and harry feels itâs the perfect time to let his parents and godparents knowÂ
as soon as they all get together, sirius will be very smiley and will hug harry a lot
âharry,you know you can tell me anything, right? im always ready to listen to you and you know there might be a lot more things that moony and i understand much much better than your parents.â
âwhatâ ---harry
âsirius...â --remus
âwhat? i just want you to keep that in mind. and remember, prongslet, no matter what happens and whatever doubts you might have, we will always support you.â :â>
harry will just be confused Â
throughout christmas dinner sirius gives him the same watery smile and next to him, remus is also grinning
when harry finally says it out front, sirius immediately shoots fireworks and sparks out of his wand and shouts about how proud he is of harry
harry is touched but also hmmm âhow long have you known?â
sirius goes and i oop. and looks at remusÂ
remus still has a huge grin but avoids siriusâ eyes. âI really am proud of you harry....â
lily has an identical smile with remus and she hugs harry also saying shes very happy for her son
so harry also asks her how long sheâs known
lily will goodnaturedly tell an embarrassing story of harry showing signs early on âalso im your mother.â ;))
âso...â james will say, âonly i⊠received this pleasant surprise as a⊠surprise?â :,D
âwell, that wouldnât be the first time, love.â
they will laugh and harry will feel LOVED. BCS HE IS LOVED BY THEM SO DAMN MUCH
#wouldâve been a proper drabble or fic if we werenât too lazyđ#marauders headcanon#hp headcanon#wolfstar headcanon#wolfstar#hp marauders#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter#lily evans potter#jily#jily headcanon
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ahhhh ty ty ty <3
ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.
he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:
âą Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.
let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo
my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.
âą Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online đ I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsdđ or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhdđ€Ș when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)
(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2
pt. 2:
Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2
Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):
Speed of Dream's rise to fame
The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase
Post-MCC HBomb stream
Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans
Manipulation & RSD
Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand
The âjust a dudeâ argument, flipped
First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.
Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.
Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.
Fourth, youâre right, that he doesnât seem to condone his fansâ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dreamâs, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know heâll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because heâs so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who arenât antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues. My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or donât do, if it at all relates back to you. Iâm so fucking tired of the argument that CCs arenât responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they arenât responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they canât fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CCâs fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC Iâve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dreamâs general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.
Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. Iâve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dreamâs character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent peopleâs reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something Iâve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldnât be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. Iâm not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online werenât intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way. Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe Iâm just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.
Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think itâs a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community heâs amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand. Something I donât think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isnât just âone guyâ in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasnât been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isnât just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dreamâs name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.
Iâm not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; Iâm just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.
Seventh, heâs just a guy, youâre right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As Iâve seen it, the sentiment among much of the âDSMP stans DNIâ crowd seems to be that of âDream/other MCYTs are such âbadâ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?â We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTsâ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CCâs fanbaseâs morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, âwhy not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?â Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isnât nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, arenât there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because heâs just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think thatâs what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the ânot worth itâ side for me. I realized Dreamâs content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasnât worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.
Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while Iâve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.
#ive been writing this on and off since 830 am est SHEESH#dreamwastaken#dream critical#eh i think im relatively lenient of him here given my past posts ab him#but still just in case the blacklist tags for yalls convenience:#discourse#/neg#asks#long post#long posts#this a LONG one bois#morango
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10:34 A.M.
The sunlight was warm against your cheeks as it shone in through the windows; yet, it wasnât the harsh rays that woke you from your comfortable slumber.
You could feel a tender gaze directed right at you along with a pair of strong arms, your favorite pair of arms to be exactâwrapped protectively around your waist.
Gentle fingers glided softly along your face; almost featherlight to the point where you wouldnât have even noticed that he was touching you if it werenât for the callousness of his digits connecting the dots of your scattered freckles and the cool metal on his fourth finger.
You had yet to open your eyes, but you were confident in the idea that your husband was staring at you and you didnât want to make it known that you were awake just yet.
Honestly, it felt as though you were still in dreamlandâeverything was just too good to be true. Memories of the most perfect day of your entire life soon came rushing back to your mind and you couldnât help the small smirk that was now encompassing your faceâgiving away the fact that you were no longer asleep.
âGood morning Mrs.Tuan.â
Hearing the excitement yet raspiness in his voice along with his last name that was also yours now sent so many emotions to your chest. You were over the moon to say the least. He let out a giggle when you hid your face against his bare chest and placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.
âGood morning Mr.Tuan.â
âAh, Iâm never going to get tired of calling you Mrs.Tuan. I still canât believe youâre my wife. God, itâs like a dream come trueââ
âTook you long enough. Iâve been waiting for over five years for you to propose to meââ
Mark let out a guttural groan at the sound of your playful complaint; dropping his head in between the valley of your breasts and earning himself a shove to his shoulder. A blush was now adorning your cheeks; only then as you felt his warm breath against your nipples did you come to the realization that you were naked. It didnât bother you though, not like it did when you and Mark first became intimate back in the third week of your relationship.
He was your husband now and the two of you made love to each other numerous times in the duration of your five year relationship that you were no longer shy whenever youâd find yourself naked around him. Actually, Mark was very vocal about how insanely beautiful you wereâand devastatingly sexy which led you to lose your timidity and gain a newfound confidence. One that you never knew existed and you owed entirely to your husband.
âHey, we went over this on multiple occasions baby. I wanted to propose to you only months after we started datingâI knew I was in love with you after only the third date. Trust me, it was extremely difficult for me having to introduce you as my girlfriend and not my wife for these last few years. I donât know whyâI mean sure, getting to call you my girlfriend and getting to be called your boyfriend was all that mattered to me. Youâre my soulmate y/n. My personâbut something about the titles âwifeâ and âhusbandâ is more permanent. It solidifies a relationship. But I wanted us to be finished with school and settled in to our actual careers before taking things any further. It worked out though didnât it? Look at us. Weâre both redeemingly successful with our positions at the companies we work at and we share a two story house in our mid twenties. Not that it matters, but we can live comfortably as a married couple unlike a lot of people our age. Weâre a whole now. Youâre stuck with me and my penis for the rest of your lifeââ
âOh God. Just when it was getting so romantic, you just had to throw your dick in there. Well, youâre stuck with me and my pussyââ
âI donât consider myself stuck at all. Your pussy is so magicalâfuck, weâve had sex at least three hundred times, maybe even more than that and every single time, you never failed to blow my mindâand my dick. But shit, last night had to be the best night of my entire life. Yesterday, was the most incredible day in my twenty-seven years of existence. You are the most beautiful person in the entire world and Iâm not just saying that because youâre my wife, itâs true. Not only on the outside; which, honestly, you are a sight for sore eyes. I can never take my eyes off of you and I never want to. Iâd stare at you in awe of your beauty all day if time permitted me to. But you have the most kindest and generous hearts and you are just the sweetest soul. I canât wait to remind you every single day for the rest of our lives just how perfect you are to me.â
He brought his thumb up to the brim of your eyelids and wiped away a tear that you didnât even know fell. God, this man was really the love of your life. Youâd never be able to comprehend exactly what you did to deserve being the lucky girl who loved Mark and got to be loved by him, but you would never take your position in his life as his bride for granted.
Before you could continue to let any more tears fall at his endearing words, he was quick to continue his not so innocent speech about the many naughty thoughts taking up all the space his mind.
âI donât know if itâs because weâre newlyweds or because you never cease to amaze me each and every time we stumble in to bed together but the sex we had just hours ago in my opinion was the best sex weâve ever had. I know I complimented you almost the entire day yesterday on how gorgeous you looked in that wedding dress and Iâm sure my never ending tears that flowed down my cheeks as you walked down the aisle and my wedding vows that were almost twenty minutes long are enough to prove my undying love for you. But God, seeing you in that dressâthat dress was made for you. You looked so fucking ethereal and damn, it looked so much better on the floor once I got you alone. You know, my mind is still a little hazy from sleepingâmaybe you could remind me just how amazing it wasâif I knew you were this abusive, I would have made you work harder for that ring youâre wearing.â
Both his and your laughter filled the room and you couldnât stop yourself from rolling your eyes and pinching his cute little butt. Your wedding day was everything you could have ever dreamt of and more. There were countless times in your relationship where you would day dream about what your wedding would be like. It didnât take you too long to realize that Mark was the person you wanted to settle down and start a family with. Everything within you; your heart, your mind, your body and your soul was his. You were set on Mark Tuan; for life. Since he took his time with asking you to marry him, you developed some insecurities about whether or not he saw himself marrying you. Sure, he may have talked about your future together every now and then, but not once did he ever bring up marriage so you just assumed he had no plans on getting married at all.
It made your engagement all the more special when he did finally get around to proposing to you less than a year ago while the two of you were in vacation in Hawaii. You tried to convince yourself that you would be happy even if Mark were to confess he had no plans on tying the knot. As long as Mark was in your life, you were content with whatever title you held in his. But on that magical night when he got down on one knee and went in to detail about his undying love for you as the two of you watched the sunset go down, you felt wholeheartedly that his proposal was one dreams were made of.
âWhat are you thinking about?â You looked at him in curiosity and it was in that moment; looking at his blank stare did you realize you were probably mirroring his exact facial expression.
âNothing. Just that Iâm really happy. Really, really happy. You mean everything to me Mark. I donât know what I would do without you and I dont even want to think about my life before you were in it. It was colorless and dull. Now all I see is so many beautiful colors. Just the mere thought of you along pulls on my heartstrings in such a miraculous way. I love the way you make me feel and I love the effect youâve had on me. Iâm so in love with you and I canât wait to see what the future has in store for us.â
Your husband gave you his signature gummy smile before smashing his mouth roughly against yours. He licked on your bottom lip and took it in between his sharp teeth, nibbling all but gently while dragging his cold fingertips along your smooth skin.
âYouâre my happily ever after y/n. I kind of regret not getting around to marrying you sooner. I just really wanted to give you the ring and the wedding that youâve always wanted. You deserved the entire universe and more y/n. Truly, thereâs so much I want to give you. You are genuinely out of this world; youâre practically a goddessâan otherworldly being and honestly, you deserve so much more than what this world has to offer you. Iâm not stupid my love, Iâve picked up on the many wedding magazines youâd scatter throughout the house, Iâve noticed youâve been watching a couple of episodes from that one Disney weddings show and I overheard you talking to your mom about not knowing how I felt about marriage. Iâm sorry that you had to question my feelings for you, but I thought that my constant love confessions and the way I could never stop holding you, kissing you and needing to be around you was enough to prove the fact that you are my home. You own my heart y/n. You always have and you always will forever. The feeling is mutual baby. I donât care what ends up happening to me. I donât care where we end up livingâif we ever decide to move houses, cities, states or even countries. I donât care what my job title is, how much money Iâll end up making or what anyone other than you has to think or say about me. Lifeâlife can be rough and there are days that I just want to scream, cry and run away. But then I look at you and I see my purposeâI look at you and see the reason for my existence. Youâre the reason why I breathe. Youâre the reason why my heartbeat increasesâthe reason why I wake up with the biggest grin on my face. You are my reason to be happy and I could never thank you enough for all youâve done for me in the last five years. Now, I canât wait to continue to relish in our love for many more decades to come.â
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I dont know if you're taking prompts at the moment but when you have time if the idea interests you what about martin greying after their time in the apocalypse and growing a beard and being distressed because he looks like his father. jon comforts him and helps him feel better about his appearance. maybe some soft domestic comfort where jon helps martin dye his hair and shave the beard away to look like himself again.
hi friend!!! thank you for this prompt, itâs probably not perfect bc I wrote it really fast!! But I hope you like it anyway :)
CW panic attack
When Jon wakes, head still spinning in the light of the sun, Martin is once again gone. And Jon is so, so very tired.
Tired of the weariness, the deep ache that has settled so heavily in his bones he is unsure if he will ever truly shake it. Tired of the sapping away of his strength, as he attempts to rebuild, day by day by day even after a year has gone by since the end of all things.
Tired of waking up alone.
Itâs a wonderful thing, in a way, to know that something is wrong with Martin rather than Knowing itâthe realization that he is, in fact, able to discern when something is bothering the love of his life is a rather comforting fact, after everything. Even so, he finds himself frustrated. Frustrated with the fact that he cannot intuit the source of his husbandâs distress, much less pull anything out of him.
Martin is shutting down. Plain as day. And it terrifies him.
Running a hand briefly over the Martin-shaped imprint beside him, long gone cold, Jon props himself up on too-slender arms, waiting a moment for the spots to clear from his vision, and standing on too-slender legs. At once, he reaches for his cane at the bedside, finding his injury sitting heavy in his hip this dayâand heads quietly out of the room and into the hall.
If Jon had not known better, he would never have guessed that Martin were there at all. For the entirety of their normally-cozy, tiny little flat seems nothing but desolate and dustladen and darkening, ever darkening. Something Lonely creeping through every window sill, beneath the outside door, through the ventsâ
Streaming from the open bathroom door.
Of course, Jon had seen it coming for days, had tried to warn Martin of the fog carried on each of the few words he has spoken over the past few days. But it did not matterâMartin has often explained how muffled everything becomes while he finds himself once again in this place. Muffled and meaningless and fading, fading. Buried under guilt and fear and apologies, so many apologies that Jon could drown in them.
And now, perhapsâjust perhaps, he might let him in. If the open door of the bathroom is a sign to be taken as hopeful.
âMartin,â he calls as he approaches the doorframe. âHabibi, are you alright?â
Upon looking in, he finds Martin leaning over the sinkâstaring with empty eyes back into the emptiness of his reflection in the mirror, fog swirling so thick beneath his glasses itâs a wonder he can see at all. The word that comes first to Jonâs mind is frozenâand he cannot help but hurt over just how long he has stood here, alone and in his private grief, limbs shaking ever so slightly in their static hold.
âHabibi,â he starts againâquieter this time, stepping a bit closer. âLook at me. Iâm right here.â
He follows these words with resting a hand against his forearmâever so gentle and cautious, yet Martin jumps bodily all the same.
âSorry, Iâm sorry,â Jon continues, without moving his hand away.
ââŠwhat?â is the eventual reply, so dim and far away it echoes, swirling around Jonâs head dizzyingly.
âLook at me, Martin. Can you look at me?â he pleads, beginning to rub his hand up and down his forearm now, anything to create some warmth over his ice-cold skin.
âJon.â
âYes. Right here, please look at me.â
At last, at long lastâMartin turns his face away from the mirror, the fog beginning to dissipate from his eyes as soon as he meets Jonâs. The ache of it all sends something twisting in his stomach, over the fact that this still happens so regularly, that Martin still struggles to be open, even with him, even after all this time.
And buries it.
âThere you are,â he soothes as he slips a hand up and into his hair, beginning to stroke through it as Martin starts to come back to himself. âYou with me?â
He blinks a few more times, slowly, strangelyâbefore tensing suddenly beneath Jonâs hands, eyes blown wide as he gasps in a breath.
âJ-Jonââ
âEasy. Easy, now,â he murmurs easily, grasping at his arm once again. âJust sit down. Youâre alright.â
âJonââ
âSit down, my love.â
Back to the wall, Martin slides down to sitting braced against itâbowing his head between his knees at once, one hand against his throat as he gasps for something beyond the fog to fill his lungs. Jon steps over his feetâcoming to rest on the side of the tub, leaning forward to keep a gentle pressure moving across his shoulders as he works through the panic. All too common panic, unfortunately.
âIâm here. Iâm right here.â
As always, Jon feels so helpless here. He knows there is very little to be done but to sit and wait, talk if it helps, stop if it doesnât, always keeping that contact to ground Martin in warmth. Every time his heart breaksâand every time he swallows the lump in his throat, no matter how thick with fog it may be.
âIâm right here.â
Several minutes pass this way, rapid breaths fading into rhythm, color returning back to Martinâs skin, the fog at at last dissipating into the floor beneath them. And finallyâfinallyâMartin looks up, eyes just barely meeting Jonâs for a moment before he covers them in shame.
âGod, Iâm so sorry, Jon,â he croaks, scrubbing over his eyes as he speaks. âHappened again.â
âNo need, habibi,â Jon replies, as always. âNo need.â
And still the silence remains for a while, Jonâs hand never leaving Martinâs back, Martinâs hand never falling away from his eyes in his misery. It is in this moment, feeling his husband shaking beneath him for the third morning in a row, and the fourth this week, that Jon makes a decision.
âMartin,â he begins, pausing to worry at his lower lip for a moment. âMartin, pleaseâŠplease tell me why this is happening.â
âYou donât need to worry about it,â comes the terrible reply, the one that tells Jon there is so much hurt still left to heal in his soul.
âI am worried. And will continue to worry, because I love you.â
A small huff of laughter behind a ghost of a smile.
âI love you too,â he replies, as if still shocked he is allowed to say it.
âThen pleaseâtalk to me.â
âItâs sillyâitâs nothing, I dunno why itâs bothering me so much,â he continues, at last letting the hand covering his eyes fall and rest atop his knee. âAndâand Iâm sorry itâsâitâs worrying you. But Iâm alright.â
Yet another small and fragile thing shatters in Jonâs chest over thisâthis utter falsehood, that he would ever see Martin drowning in the Lonely and think only of himself. That he would ever think that way.
âI-I wouldnâtâthis isnât about me, Martin,â he assures, refusing to bely the hurt pushing against the steadiness of his voice. âI know that you are hurting. Pleaseâplease tell me why, and I will help.â
âJonââ
âThatâs all I want. Is to help.â
A momentâa long, terrible moment in which Jon cannot be sure he is trusted, cannot be sure he is ready to talk. That he will have to accept whatever the next breath brings, even if it hurts. Even if it hurts.
Please please please
âIâlike I said, itâs silly, right?â Martin begins to choke out, tears rising immediately as he begins to speak. âI-I know it is. And Iâm just going to sit here and blubber about it like a fool.â
âItâs not silly if it hurts you.â
âIâwell, justâjust wait till you hear it,â he says tremulously, letting out a terribly damp little laugh at the end, swiping at his eyes yet again. âItâs just thatâwith the, the grey, and theâbeard, IâgodâI look just like my dad.â
And there it is at last, the aching truth of it all. The trauma Martin would rather call silliness. The panic he would rather call a terrible display of dramatics. The tears he will apologize for in three, twoâ
âGod, Iâm so sorry,â he bursts through gritted teeth, trying desperately to make a noise sounding something like laughter.
âMartinââ
âItâs so silly, Iââ
âStop, stop.â
Catching both of Martinâs hands in his own, Jon grips them tightly, tilting his head in a gesture that begs Martin to look, please look at me. And when he does, eyes still brimming and barely holding togetherâitâs nearly enough to do Jon in altogether.
âIt is not silly,â he begins forcefully, gently. âYou have every right to feel upset by this. Thisâthis pain makes senseâand it is real, and it is justified. Alright?â
The damp smile Jon receives in return is enough to tell him that Martin does not really believe him, perhaps he never willâbut that his words are appreciated all the same.
âNow listen. There are some things we could do that might help, alright?â he continues, starting to massage Martinâs hands gently as the tears begin to fall in earnest, trying to keep his shoulders from shaking. âI couldâI could help you dye it. Any color at all. Andâonly if you wantâI can help you shave. If you think it might help.â
A laughâa real, if still damp, laugh comes from him thenâcast in the glow of a genuine smile. As it always has and always willâit sets Jonâs heart fluttering with love for this man, for his anchorâfor his love. For his always.
âYeah, Iâhehââ he begins, swiping away the remaining wetness with another laugh. âEarly thirties is a bit young to go grey, I reckon.â
âIs it now?â Jon teases at once, a grin spreading wide across his face, tossing his own greying hair over one shoulder. âIs that young to go grey?â
âOh come off it,â Martin says, rolling his eyes, bumping a shoulder against Jonâs leg. âYou know what I meant.â
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Poll Results
Alright, thatâs it, iâm tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.
memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, Iâd Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, Iâm in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight
(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesnât realize theyâve passed it on until later.
a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guessÂ
Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals.Â
If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow
Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor
Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.
Probably a vial of blood so itâs easy and over quick
kiss đđ
i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )
Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and youâve made First/Second my new OTP, so Iâll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?
This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ maybe a scraping of skin cells
Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.
Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for
I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like youâre eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.
My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them
little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it
Put it in my coffee.
If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"
knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood
who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa đafo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason
Sexy battle where Iâm the villain, and randomly the hero thinks âI wish I could save youâ. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.
You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties
I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.
You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... yâknow..... AFO...........
okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper
Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy
Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.
i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.
Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)
okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)
no i like my bones
drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair
no
Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something
First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.
If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.
If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.
If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.
Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually donât like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.
Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!
not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie
I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@Ă·out.h pretty lady.,
Q-tip to the inside of the cheek
Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me
Via consumption of blood, babey
I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?
Sweet love
Hair
If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.
i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such
Last option, cause first is sexy as hell
okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...
Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me
Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.
Blood
Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Midoâs hair like a dad to pass it on. Iâm sure you get it
Bleeding over an open wound
lil bit of spit in a milkshake.
I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!
ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore
drink from the same water bottle?
âEAT THIS!â
Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it
#aaaand done#this was going to be like. nicely organized in a couple different ways and i still might#but out of slots for that today so
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