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heyjude19-writing · 4 years ago

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Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:

1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco

2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*

3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.

4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!

5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.

6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.

7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you

7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!

Now to some questions

A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?

B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process

C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way

D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?

Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?

Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.

Ok rant done. :D

List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!

1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)

2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.

3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.

4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???

5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.

6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.

7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.

Now to some answers:

A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!

B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”

C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”

D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.

I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.

The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”

If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.

Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.

You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.

Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!

#remain nameless #dramione #list anon #asked and answered

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oh-for-fic-sake · 5 years ago

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Trophy chapter four

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult Themes Dubcon,Controlling Behaviour, Swearing, Smut +18 Only

Chapter 0ne Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter five Chapter Six

Your escape doesn’t go as planned as Henry reveals just how much power he truly has.

You were just over a week into your 'stay' at Henry's manor and had just about had enough. Youd spent the last few days in a constant fit of frustration. I had become very clear in the first few days that you were nothing more than a toy, a doll for him to coo over and manipulate. Or maybe a better way to discribe it was the girl in a childs music box being made to dance when ever the owner decided to open the lid. Either way you felt trapped used and helpless, at first he made sure you spent as much time as possible together taking you to the office when he had to work, sitting you on the sofa with a book or parade you around the house.

After that he would put you in what became your daily cell tho never alone if he wasnt with you kal was. Day after day you were left in here a freshly decorated room that youd heard the guards refer to as the play room, it was like a large airy living room like somthing from pintrest a plush looking corner sofa around a light coffee table,large tv on the wall above the fireplace with games consoles neatly tucked away,two floor to ceiling book cases either side ,there was a cabinet full of dvds and games behind the sofa opposite there was a sideboard filled with sketch books, pens and pencils ect and a two seat small dining table sat between the two cabinets. The room was a mix of soft pale pinks and blues and was chock full of soft furnishings pillows and various blankets draped here and there and huge faux fur rug . The window was locked being ground level ,that was the first thing you checked when left alone ,not that you'd get far across the gravel drive he had made a point not to give you shoes. The saying bare foot in the kitchen sprung to mind.

He would visit you when you were in here at lunch forcing you to eat with threats of spanking sometimes worse. Being treated like a child was wearing thin and to be quiet honest you were becoming scared,finding it easier to go along with his insanity, you called him daddy without a thought somewhere in the back of your mind you knew it was wrong but after just over a week he had managed to drum it into you. It was frighteing just how quickly you could be conditioned you had to get out soon. He was overbearing always helping himself to you, kissing ,touching and generally trying to act as if you were a couple until you did something he didnt like then it was back to threats and reality hit.

Today was slightly different you woke up curled on your side his henry lazily running his finger through your hair you squinted rubbing your eyes as he leant over kissing your shoulder before running hi hand across your tummy spreading out his fingers and pulling you back against his crotch, he rocked against your bottom groaning quietly into your hair as you felt his cock springing to life he grinded harder against you before shuffling pinning you flat on your back straddling you pulling your legs to rest either side of his hips you whined in protest trying to shuffle from under him when he pulled you down tight against him he just tilted his head raising and eyebrow. The warning was clear behave. He rubbed against your mound sliding his cock along the seam pf your pussy. You closed your eyes tight already feeling the arousal build inside of you dreading what was to come, you couldnt help how your body reacted you tried to just let him get on with it but each morning he managed to coax you into participating a little more, not letting you distance yourself any longer. He grunted low i his throat as he pumped himself against you resting his weight on his hips one hand cuped the top of his cock squeezing it against you as he pushed it against your clit. You gasped as you felt his throbbing cock against you pulling high pitched moans and whines as you bit your lip trying to keep quiet. He chuckled

"Oh fuck... thats it baby girl ...come on let daddy hear you." You shook your head back and forth as your pussy weeped onto him soaking both of you you found your self panting hard when he groaned grabbing one of your hands replacing his over his cock you tried pulling away and he growled at you.

"Stay still baby.... fuck thats it good girl.. your so good for daddy" he groaed deep as he sped up before leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your collar bone then kissed up to your lips trying to pry your mouth open you turned your head away. He sighed moving his hand into the boxers that you wore finding your swollen clit flicking and pinching harshly causing you to buck and cry out, he quickly took the opportunity to invade your mouth tasting your tongue sucking you into a passionate kiss he let go of your hand placing his hand pressing your knee up to your torso spreading you out for him rubbing his cock faster with jerky thrusts skimming your opening with every movement you gripped the sheets twisting them as you felt your walls trying to clench onto him desperate for him to fill you you rocked back against him looseing yourself in him as he smothered you he released your mouth biting down on your neck leaving a mark alongside yesterdays. You became hot, to hot as you flushed under him chasing your own end grinding up against him

"Oh! oh god please! Please i cant" you babbled incoherently as he repositioned his hand thumbing your clit and thrusting into you harshly with his fingers bouncing your body across the bed you let out a load moan as his hand worked furiously rubbing amd curling his finding your soft spot befor zeroing in and running his fingers harshly across it you cired bucking out at him unsure of you wanted hi to go faster or get off your climax built and he chuckled as your clamped down on his fingers to the point of pain

"Aww baby you want to cum dont you? Thats it good girl so good is it to much?" he didnt relent still masaging that spot you nodded and cried tears falling down your face you couldnt breath it was to much

"Then cum, its ok you can cum, cum for daddy ,all over daddies fingers" you hated how his wods pushed you over the edge and even then he didnt stop he seemed to double his efforts when you arched violently with a silent scream gushing over his fingers he continued moving draggin out your orgasm he moved higher running the underside of his cock across your mound with stuttering hips.

"Oh..OH shit YES YES fuck! OH GOD Little one fuck" he let out a long gruntle moan as he finished spraying cum up your front you both laid there panting. Shame washed over you like it had done every morning he did this. You felt dirty and used he rolled on his side tucking you in his arms kissing your head praising you for how good you were and telling you how much he loved you as you curled ijto him wetting his tinto him overwhelmed. After a few moments the saddness past and you laid stock still against him as he pulled you to lie across him head on his chest stroking your hair once again.

"Iv got to go out today pet. I trust youll be good whne im gone and if your lucky I'll get you a treat" you froze at his words gojng out... that meant youd be alone the thlught filled you with dread and anticipation.

"If your naughty you will regret it when i get back."you both laid there for what felt like hours he wouldnt let you move. Tho he finally let out a breath and ushered you to the bath room showering with you. After getting dressed and having breakfast he left and you noticed he didnt put you any where. You dread to think what he was doing. But you were left the run of the house. So here you sat in the kitchen alone in the huge house apart from the security he kept on site. 'This was it.. or was it a test?..' you raced to the living room window and watched an expensive car leave the gates at the bottom of the drive as it dissapeared behinde the wall that clossed off the property. You debated in your head if he was just waiting to see if you were going to try and run or not. You had to try, somthing was happening to you here ,you didnt like how complacent you were getting with him. It was cruel really the only person that was aloud to interact with you was him, you find yourself almost craving him, you enjoyed his praise lapping it up liike a love sick school girl.

Deciding that this may be the last time you could escape before it was to late you walked into the kitchen slowly as not to alert anyone to your plan even tho your heart was racing ten to the dozen. Quickly and quietly you pulled a small packet of plasters from one of the draws. Throught out your stay you learnt a few things all the doors leading outside and your 'play room' had pressure alarms built in you'd set one off on your forth day trying to get out into the garden resulting in another painfull and very embarassing spanking in the kitchen then experienced your first corner time, the other thing you learnt were all the guards had shifts and patrol routes the house ran like clockwork youd freighed interest in him and he'd waffled on about how it wasnt all bad and he'd take you out when you'd acclimated to your new life then boasted about the cars he had in the basment garage but you'd 'never get to drive one as driving these fast cars is to dangerous for his baby girl'. Tho you hadnt made a thing of it you kept the information locked away youd been behaving hopeing he would let down his gaurd. Once you got the plasters you put them in the pocket of your cardigan and grabbed a butter knife hooking it in the back of your jeans wedging it just under the tight waist band.

"What are you still doing in here? Get to the playroom" you screamed in suprize as the voice came out of no where you spun round faceing the man and nodded walking past him quickly.

"Wait. What have you been doing in here?" He said grabbing your arm pulling you to a stop you huffed tugging your arm.

"Let go i havent done anything" you twisted around as he patted you down you froze mouth going dry as you thought he was going to find the knife in your jeans he didnt instead his hands found the packet of plasters the cocked an eyebrow

"Im doing some crafts today these are incase i get a paper cut...im clumsy and tthought i should take a pack the keep in there just incase" he eyed you for a few seconds befor smirking at you

"So the princess was sneaking about for some plasters, im suprised you werent trying to sneak candy, would be more fitting for his baby girl." He laughed as you glared at him venomously

"Fuck you ,you cunt" you spat in his face he growled before grabbing your arm in a bruising grip dragging you out of the kitchen down the hall as you screamed at him, a few others poked their heads around to watch asking what was wrong as you were dragged down the hall once outside your day room he stopped pressing a card to the reader next to the handle disarming the door and answered their qeustioning stares.

"Nothing just a temper tantrum im sure she will regret later when Boss finds out." He turned back to you.

"He might even make a show of it, i wouldnt mind seeing her bent over" you growled as he opend the door throwing you in , grunting as you landed hard on the floor he whistled for kal and let the dog enter behind you befor shutting the door arming the device again. Shaking away tears in your eyes as you heard then others laugh about how theyd love to see 'a piece of that ass' kal sat beside you nudging you for a cuddle you hugged him breathing deep nuzzling his thick fur, he was the only company you enjoyed here after snuggling with him a few minuets you pulled away putting your plan into action you got out suome supplies fro the art cupborads scattering them hear and there to make it look like you had been drawing, hopefully if anyone came in and found you missing they would assume that you had asked one of the others to let you use the bathroom as the ensuite to this room wasnt finished. You aproached the door pulling out the knife and lowered it to the door handle, the worst thing about this system was that you werent technically locked in, the door opend but set off an alarm that was indicated by a small red flashing light on the card reading panel. Breathing deep you pulled out a plaster removing the tabs on it sticking oneside to your finger. Gentle you pulled down on the handle until you couldnt anymore easing the knife alongside the door pushing on the plate you pivoted your body opeing the door enough to get your hand in the gap and stuck the plaster over the bottom of the pressure plate securing it down. Holding your breath you waited a few moments before summerizing that it had worked when noone came rushing down the hall you quickly slipped thrpugh the door catching kal befor he could make his way out and shut the door fully. You blinked then jumped for joy you could bearly see the edge of plaster on the frame. Quickly you jogged to the end of the hall ducking low realising that not having shoes might be a god send as you were almost silent as you moved you got another plaster ready on your hand as you ducked and dived behind the counters in the kitchen making your way around to the door Henry had left through.'it must have been to the garage' you though you made quick work of the door not waiting to see if the alarm had set off as you heard foot steps coming your way you slipped through the door closing it behinde you and ran down the stairs into a large garage on the left there was lots of hooks with keys on them you toke shaky breaths scanning them befor looking over the cars there must have been about eleven in total ranging from massive range rovers to calssy two seater sports cars. 'I need on that can blend in, a hatch back or somthing, maybe a saloon' you thought running down the line of cars the most normal looking one was a Jag you quickly ran to the keys looking for a set with the same logo as the car finding two you grabbed them both pushing unlock on one set seing another car across light up you threw them on the floor using the other one to unlock the car getting in quickly you felt your tummy tie itself in knots turning on the ignition and pulled the seat forward you put on your seatbelt out of habbit then dojng a small cheer when you saw it was an automatic you put it in drive wincing as it growled to life louder then it needed to be you pulled it up to the garage door and it opend you pulled it forward going up the bank once at the top you saw a gaurd stopping staring befor shouting out to the others.

"Dont let the gate open!!" You panicked and floored it the car took off down the drive skidding you a stop near the gate the instantly began rolling open. On gaurd was sprinting down the drive behinde you. You looked down for a button to look the doors finding it by the window controls you flicked it on and heard the click at all four doors locked lokking up you saw the gate had stopped half way you spun the wheel throwing the scar around squeezing the car throuh the gate clipping the wing mirror off in the process putting your foot down you gave a triumphant shout as you tore down the road away from that house. Leaning back into the seat relaxing as you made yourway towards the town, it was the only way to get to the motorway that would lead out of the area. You wiped tears from your eyes as as relief flooded you sobs wracked your body the drive to the town took longer than you thought it would and you were suspicious as no one had chased you from the house and had spent the whole drive flinching at every car that pulled up behind you. Pulling up to a round about you stopped recognising the area deciding to take a less busy route pulling off to the outskirts of town you parked up into a superstore looking threw the car for money finding a few £20 notes a tap at the window you screamed turning it was a police officer you gulped looking in the rearveiw mirror seeing a squad car pulled up behind you blocking you in, he indicated for you to roll down the window.

"Yes can i help you?" You asked trying to sound normal

"Miss did you realise your missing a wing mirror?" You followed his gaze and smiled meekly. Getting a bad feeling in your gut.

"Yes, its my boyfreids car i borrowed it and hit a sign back there im going to book it in now hopefully get it done and he wont find out i hurt his baby" you ended with a chuckle patting the steering wheel he didn't look convinced and motioned for his colleague to join him

"Uh huh, so are you insured to drive this car? Sure you didnt hit another car?" You shook your head

" Well i hope im insured he said hed made me a name driver and no i didnt hit anyone, the car caught me by suprize i hadnt realised how much oommf it had and still getting used to the size its a bit wider then mine." You explained hoping you were convincing enough he smiled the held out his hand to you.

"Can i see your licence?" You froze then pretended to look around the car for it

"Oh shit i dont have my bag on me sorry can i give you my name instead and you can look it up on the system?" You pleaded hoping that he would let this one go

"So you dont have your purse on you? When your taking his car to the garage to get it fixed?.... yeah im gonna have to ask you to step out of the car now." He said moving back from the door you looked behind you panicking there was no way to pull out.

"Wh-what? Why?" You cried out as he put his hand in the car opeing the door

"No! No you cant do this you dont understand please!" You shouted at him as he undid your seatbelt pulling you out of the car cuffing your hands behind your back reading you your rights.

"Your under arrest for car theft,careless driving and driving with out insurance , you have the right to remain silent anything you do say can harm your defence and used in court ,Call it in we found Mr cavills car" you froze, hed called in that his car had been stolen. He used the police to track you. You wailed twisting against him as you realised why no one had chased you, he was using the police to bring you back to him.you cried as he dragged you to the squad car.

"NO! You dont understand he kidnapped me! Please you have to let me go! He's mad he locked me up please you have to help me." You kicked out as he forced you into the back seat on the car slamming the door you sobbed in the back seat as they locked up the jag and got in the front of the car.

"Please do make me go back i dont know what he'll do" you cried pitifully they sighed looking at you threw the plexiglass.

"Im sorry love there's nothing we can do for you... i wish there was but its our asses on the line" then he started the car driving towards the station. It wasnt long befor you found yourself in a cell heavy metal door between you and your escape laying on the bed crying and terrified of whats to come. Panicking everytime you heard foot steps down the hall thinking it was him. It was over an hour later when you jumped as the heavy lock on your door opened with a loud bang revealing a calm looking Henry standing beside a sympathetic looking officer he shooed them away.

"Give us a minute" he didnt take his eyes off you as he stepped into the room seemed to take over the small space you shuddered backing away from him sending a pleading look to the officer who ingored you and left.

"Well pet have you got that out of your system now?" He said crossing the cell in large strides his suit jacket hung over one arm that was in his pocket. You shook your head crying

"Pl-please im sorry i-i had to" you flinched as he brought his hand to your face. Smoothing back your hair

"Sshhh shh its ok now everything is going to be fine" he calmed you pulling his outher hand up wiping your tears away before for twisting his fist in your hair you yelped clawing at his hand trying to relieve the pain in your scalp.

"You've been a very very naughty girl havent you?" He tugged your hair back forcing you to look at him still wiping your face with his other. It summed him up caring and kind yet brutal and cruel. He grinned a sadistic grin

"I should let you know that im not pressing charges, what kind of boyfreind would i be if i did?" He teased you letting you know he was told your cover story you cried in pain as he dragged you the few steps towards him forcing you onto your tip toes

"STOP! Please Henry your hurting me!" He tutted at you looking at his watch

"Three hours away from the house and were back to Henry? What happened to Daddy? Well it doesnt matter i hope now you realise that there is no escape. You cannot run or hide from me love i have eyes everywhere." He lowerd you back down releasing your hair clutching you to his chest trapping you in a strong grip as you sobbed shaking like a leaf more out of anxiety then anything else.

"Shh shh. its ok little one... i know its been a scary day getting out , nearly crashing into the gate and then being arrested? its all going to be ok, now that you've got this out of your system you can finally settle at home. Ihave been waiting for this little blow up from you i was beginning to think the gun fiasco was it" His words filled you with dread as you began to sink in this was it for you, that there was no way out, he would find you at some point. Rocking you backwards and forwards with your arms trapped at your side he tucked his nose into your hair kissing it every so often.

"Tho this is probably my fault it was enavitable for you to try and run again, i havent trained you properly yet, not givin you the attention you truly need, but dont worry we will start once we get home. I want you to know daddies not angry, no no he's just dissapointed" he pulled back draping his jacket over your shoulders.

"I hope you know that your still in serious trouble when we get home young lady i warned you this morning that youd regret playing up" he murmmerd into your ear as he walked you out of the cell down to the reception he didnt hold you because he didnt need to there was nowhere you could go.

"Mr cavill would you sign these ,I assume your not pressing charges?" Henry looked up winking at you

"No no my girlfriend couldnt help herself, she's like a child in that respect no self restraint. Never thinks of her consequences" You shuddered catching the his unspoken threat looking down as tears of humiliation the officer chuckled as Henry said this sighing his name

"Well she does look distraught, dont be to hard on the little thing I'd jump at the chance to drive one of those myself."

Henry laughed out loud drawing some attention from the others in the waiting room

"Oh dont you worry about her, she'll find a way to make it up to me somehow wont you babygirl" he said winding an arm around your waist pulling you against him squeezing his hand painfully tight. You looked down nodding hearing a few snickers and scoffs from women in seats behind you.

"Now apologize to the officer for wasting his time baby." You scowled up at him being met with a shit eating grin opening your mouth to tell him to fuck off thankfully you were interupted.

"Oh now thats not nessasary saving a tiny thing like her from herself isn't wasting time ..I'm glad I could help" Henry smiled at you kissing your cheek feeling please with himself.

"Now isnt that nice sweety. He's happy to help us" you gave a jerky nod as Henry finished the paperwork.

"I will have someone collect the car today" he called over his shoulder as he forced you along side him stopping before he got out of the door.

"Oh baby Wheres your shoes?" He asked smirking at you knowing damn well that he hasnt got you any, you felt the eyes of the other people on you as he shook his head picking you up cradling you recieveing a few awws and judgmental stares from the women. Unable to take it anymore you tucked your face into his neck crying.

"Im sorry please im so sorry i wont do anything like this again". He sighed pushing throught the doors and made his way to the car park climbing into the back or a range rover holding you in his lap as the car began moving.

"Its a little to late for sorry baby, daddy has to punish you for being an extremly naughty little girl. Stealing and damaging daddies car running away and getting arrested lying to the police? What kind of daddy would let you get away with all that?" You shuddered mind wandering what he had instore for you, not just for punishment but the training he mentioned in the cell you squirmed in his lap as you mulled it all over feeling sick to your stomach.

#henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill fic #henry cavill smut #daddy henry cavill #mob boss henry cavill #henry cavill is daddy

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crowsent · 5 years ago

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Can you explain the color switch technique for theater more clearly? I'm going to audition for our high school play and I want a reliable way to act without having to relive my worst memories.

dunno when exactly you sent this anon, but i hope i havent responded too late.

SO. the colour switch technique. dunno if its an official name or whatever BUT its essentially used in theatre or really in any other scenario where you have to lie or assume an emotion that you’re not currently feeling. essentially, you have to play a role. but since you said youre auditioning for a play, we focusin on the theatre aspect of it.

the most common thing i see or hear people do when they need to play an emotion that they just aren’t feeling at that moment, is to think of a personal event in their lives that elicits that specific emotion. it WILL work, or at the very least, elicit a strong emotion that pushes you to make your scene more believable and more alive. now thats great if the memory or event is a happy one. thinking of the first time you ever held your baby sibling, or that time you had your first kiss, or that day your parents surprised you with a new car. genuine happiness, or the memory of genuine happiness can work wonders to make a scene look and feel organic.

but if the emotion is negative, its going to absolutely DECIMATE your mental health.

no matter how much you think that ‘its just for a scene’ or that it wont actually affect you when youre off the stage, using the “relive memory to recreate emotion” method can and will fuck your mental health sideways with a chainsaw. its BAD for you to constantly think of painful or sad memories. there’s rehearsals, the actual performance, and worse, memories of the play itself. associating the memory of a tragic accident or a bad fight to a scene of a play youre participating in IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

i did theatre back in highschool. my depression at that stage was also. uh. particularly bad. so the whole “relive traumatic memories to experience pain so you can act better” is TERRIBLE advise. dont listen to anyone who tells you to do it. it WILL negatively impact your mental health AND your memories of the play, and may even discourage you from participating in future plays yourself.

but you still need to find a way to channel those emotions.

in comes colour switch theory. or technique. whatever its called. my theatre directors were GODDESSES. they recommended this technique to EVERYONE and it WORKS.

the trick is to associate a particular colour with a particular emotion, or even facial expression. when you need to keep a stoic face, you picture the colour in your mind and chant it in your head over and over to not break character. when you need to be sad, just repeat the colour you chose for sadness over and over to get yourself in the mindset WITHOUT hurting your mental health. for me, some of the colours i chose were:

blue- sadness/loneliness

red- anger

black- nothingness

grey- fear

there are more, but lets focus on these four. blue is my favourite colour. but thinking of the colour blue it doesnt automatically make me sad, so i can still enjoy it when im off stage. to channel the emotion of sadness or loneliness that i tied with the colour blue, i think of sadness from inside out and her blue motif. i think of the blue colour commonly depicted for tears. i think of cold and i think of a single person all alone, curled up in a blue room, crying.

just talking about this made my body curl up when i was writing that paragraph. i am shaking, and i feel sad, but when i stopped thinking about that imagery, it stopped. because its not a painful or traumatic memory for me, i can just yeet the blue emotion imagery away from me when i dont want it. you cant do that with personal memories and thats what makes the colour switching strategy so good. you can act better but you dont have to hurt yourself to do it.

think of it as constructing a bubble in your head, or a room you go to when you need to feel something. for anger, i think of a red room. i think of that red emoji with the brows scrunched up and the teeth gnashed together. i think of being so angry you lose words. i think of being red-faced because you just cant control it. conveniently, anger from inside out is also red, so i can think of him too. i think of fire in my veins, hot and ready to explode with nowhere to go but loud, violent screaming. and as im writing this, i can picture myself on a stage just shouting at whoeever has done my character wrong.

same goes for black and grey. black is just when i need to keep a straight face. when i need to be stoic or unimpressed. and its just a black room. nothingness. i sometimes picture that black room in real life when i have to not laugh at something funny if the timing is inappropriate, or when i have to keep a strong facade when i want to cry. i picture that room of nothingness and my mind goes blank. and i can keep a stoic face. the grey room is fog and shadows just in the corner of my eye. its something closing in that i cant see because of all the grey swirling around me. i dont know if im alone. i dont know if i am safe because i can only see a foggy room.

all in all, mentally travelling to a room in your mind created for the express purpose of eliciting a specific emotion is better than just retraumatising yourself. and its really simple to create these rooms. you dont even have to use the same colours i did.

maybe you have more trouble with expressing lovey dovery emotions. you can make red your love room. think of red flowers on valentines day, the red heart decals you see on store windows, the red box of chocolate youd give to a lover. red is passion, red is life, and you can associate things like that with your red room if you want. its like a venn diagram. things you associate with red on the left, things you associate with the emotion on the right, and the things they have in common can be used to construct the imagery of the emotion colour switch room.

then you can just chant red red red in your mind and you think of the blush on the fair maidens cheek as her knight comes to rescue her. you can think of a scarlet dress dazzling everyone in the room, but the wearer only has eyes for one man. you can think of lipstick stain against a collar.

you can associate any emotion with any colour. my process was:

pick a colour

pick an emotion/facial expression

picture a small room in your mind

fill that room with things or imagery that match your emotion or expression

be as specific or as generic as you want

you can have a green room dedicated to irritation or envy or just the loose feeling that youre not completely happy. the reasoning can be just bc you thought of the phrase “green with envy” and thought itd be neat. green can be a mother experiencing the joy of holding her child for the first time because green=nature=nurturing=mother.

establish a connection with that colour. fill out your room and create the keyword to get in. im very unoriginal so my keyword was just chanting the colour name over and over in my head. if i say blue enough times i get sad, even if i dont picture the room bc my mind has formed a link to that state of being. and i can break away without much trouble bc the connection is just on the surface.

colour switch is hair chalk. reliving memories is hair dye. at the end of the day, both of them colour hair. but you can wipe off the hair chalk w relative ease but a thorough hair dye that produces vibrant colours cant easily be removed, even when you want to switch to a different colour, or maybe even lose the dye completely.

i would recommend picking an emotion or expression that youre not good at portraying, but dont struggle with as much for your first room. i am not good at expressing sadness, but im worst at expressing upset or anger. so when i first started my colour switch mindset room, i started with sadness. it helps me express an emotion that im not particularly good at expressing, while still being relatively easy for me to get the hang of. maybe try for the second or third worst emotion you express, build a room to channel that emotion, and establish your connection.

make it a well-tread path, essentially. first few times are gon be difficult, but the more you do it, the easier it gets. all i need now to fake-cry is picturing the blue room, saying blue a bunch of times, and making a face. then i cry. completely fake and not damaging to my health.

i hope this makes sense for you. if it doesnt, feel free to send in an ask with more detailed questions abt the parts youre confused about or anything else. same goes for anyone who happens to read this that has an interest in theatre. id rather answer a dozen asks of the same question than have any of yall do something so harmful to your mental health. if anything was at all confusing, please feel free to tell me and ill gladly clarify some more. stay safe and take care of yourselves. and to the anon who asked, i hope your play goes well

#crowsas answers #theatre

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magioftheseas · 6 years ago

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Day 1 - Reserve

Written for @the-hinata-project

Prompt: Reserve Course Student Hinata

Rating: G

Warnings: Lowkey manipulation and insecurity, but other than that, not much.

Notes: Alright, so I’m still in the middle of these, but like... Here’s the first one! They’re all going to be pretty short, around 2K but I’m gonna do my best to finish all of them so wish me luck...! And this first fic is gen. No ships. Next ones won’t be so gen. It’s also pre-HPA. Kind of.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

The last wish he made on New Year’s was a simple one.

I want to get into Hope’s Peak.

But of course that would never happen.

“Can’t you dream more realistically, Hajime? Do you have any idea how expensive Hope’s Peak actually is? We can’t afford that.”

“I... I know that, but...”

“If you know then why are you burdening us with this? Please. Just think about other people besides yourself for once.”

“...sorry.”

His mother sighs, but ruffles his hair in a show of affection.

“You current high school isn’t so bad, right? You can make good friends here, and it’s a fine school.”

“I guess it’s...decent,” he mumbles.

“Just don’t even worry about Hope’s Peak anymore,” she tells him. “It’s impossible, and it can’t be helped. Keep your chin up. Okay?”

“...fine...”

Because he knew, after all, that she had a point. They couldn’t afford it. And he wasn’t talented. It was a pipe dream to attend. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Still...

For his birthday, he was given a new laptop to replace the old. It was a fairly recent model. Pretty expensive. Likely compensation. He can’t say he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t ungrateful. He doesn’t think so.

It’s just that I admire Hope’s Peak more than anything.

So much so that he finds himself on the forums first thing.

>Does anyone have any idea who’s going to be in the upcoming batch?

>They haven’t finished scouting, right? Oh, but I just saw on the news that an actual princess was accepted! Hope’s Peak really can get in anyone!

>Wow, actual royalty?!

>There’s this photographer I follow. She’s getting in, too, I’m pretty sure.

>I just saw Saionji Hiyoko-san’s performance last week. I’m positive she’s getting in.

>I’m more interested in the princess. Can you imagine how lucky it would be to meet an actual princess?

>>They’ll be running the lottery in a month or so. What I would give to have more of a chance...

>Wow, they’re doing that again?

>With how much getting into the reserve course costs, you probably have a better chance with the lottery...

>But if you win the lottery, you’re actually considered talented. Reserves are just...y’know, reserves.

>But you’ll get to meet the princess, potentially. I think the money’s worth it, even if all I can do is steal a glance!

>Still... Seems so lame that you can just pay your way in...

>But brand name recognition is pretty powerful...

>>I heard you can actually get into the main course from the reserve course if you do well enough.

>No way! That’s a pipe dream! Maybe if you paid like, twice as much!

>Must be nice to be rich, huh...

Hinata stares, wondering what to type, but also letting the thoughts swirl around in his head.

>>I would do anything to get into Hope’s Peak. But my family just can’t afford that.

>Yeah, mine neither. Who actually can?

>You’d be surprised... They’re getting a lot of enrollments.

>You can’t like...get a scholarship or anything? It’s not like you need to go to college after attending Hope’s Peak.

>Well the golden gates can’t open that wide, I suppose...

>It’s for the best. If just about anyone could get in, it wouldn’t be that special.

Hinata bites his lip, picking at the peeling skin with his teeth.

>>Still. I want to get in more than anything.

>If you aren’t talented, it can’t be helped.

>>I would give anything.

>Pffft. No kidding. I’d give an arm and a leg, probably.

>>I would give anything.

>A lot of people would.

>You’re like a super fan, huh. Well, I am, too, but still...

>>Getting into Hope’s Peak has always been my dream.

>Everyone wants to be special, man.

>But if everyone was special then no one would be special.

>It can’t be helped. You’re either born talented or you aren’t.

>Right?! I must have spent hours drawing but there was always that one person I could just never compare to. It’s hopeless!

>You shouldn’t say hopeless on the Hope’s Peak forums!

>Haha, sorry!

>>I’ve never been talented. There’s not one thing I’m particularly good at.

>Normie...

>>But I want to get into Hope’s Peak Academy... More than anything.

>Give it up. For your own good. Wishing for the impossible isn’t healthy.

>Hey, don’t tell him that! What if he ends up winning the lottery?

>Yeah, right!

>>I’m not particularly lucky, either.

>Luck’s not a talent anyway.

>Are you sure? I’ve known people who get ridiculously lucky while gambling...

>If they gamble too much, that luck’s bound to run out. And I bet they’re not that lucky, they just brag a lot.

>That might be true... Still it would be nice just to get into Hope’s Peak by chance...

>Whoever wins that lottery probably is ridiculously lucky considering how many people are participating. We’re talking like, every high school student in their first year in the country.

>Sucks to be other countries, huh.

>Maybe someday but for now, I like not having that much competition.

>Still a ridiculous amount competing...

>I bet it’ll be someone who can afford the reserve course if they haven’t already enrolled.

>No fair! That kind of thing should disqualify you immediately!

>>I just...want to get in...

>Yeah we all do. But it’s impossible.

>Impossible.

>Totally impossible.

>Pigs will fly first.

>I heard some Ultimates actually can make some crazy shit. We might see flying pigs pretty soon.

>That’s terrifying.

>>I just want to get in.

>You should get offline.

He should. He really, really should.

Is it really impossible?

“Of course it is,” he can practically hear them murmur. “Not only are you untalented, you can’t afford it! And you’re going to win the lottery, either!”

Hinata buries his face into his hands, shuddering.

I just... I just...

To his surprise, he later receives a DM. Shivering, he clicks it open.

>Would you really do anything for Hope’s Peak?

He doesn’t recognize the name of the sender but...it looks official.

>>Yes. Of course. Why?

>There actually is a program you can sign up for that will get you in without having to pay a coin.

Hinata blinked once. Twice.

It’s way too good to be true.

But he’s desperate. Beyond desperate.

>>What is this program? How can I sign up?

>Here’s the information.

What he’s about to do is how people get themselves abducted, he’s pretty sure. But right now, he’s desperate and... If it really was someone associated with Hope’s Peak, how bad can it be? What’s the worse than can happen?

I already have no chance getting in. I know that... But...

His heart was pounding as he took the train. He stared out the window, at HPA’s towering buildings in the distance, getting closer and closer, and he sucks in his breath.

It’s so shining that it hurts to look at.

Shining like a dream...

“Ah, Hinata-kun, you made it after all. So you have the necessary information?”

“Uh... Yes...” Truth be told, he didn’t understand most of it. There were a lot of words that were hard to read and pretty...advanced. “I just...well you said you couldn’t explain everything in just files, so...”

The other looked pretty professional. Sharply dressed and smiling in a way that at least seemed pretty welcoming. But...still pretty intimidating, considering the circumstances. Hinata ducked his head, feeling rather flustered.

“Yes, it’s meant to be kept very tightly under wraps, you see,” they laugh. “I need to assure confidentiality before explaining, Hinata-kun. Surely you understand.”

That’s...weird.

But it made his blood thrum with excitement to be a part of.

“I... Y-Yes, of course. Absolutely... Of course...”

“Sign this form, then, promising that.”

“O-Of course...!”

He scribbles down his signature without a second thought. The other smiled more, pleased. Hinata squirmed in his seat, and tried to keep his posture straight.

With that, the other sat across from him, polite and yet...expectant.

Ah... Hah...

“So you’re willing to do anything for this school,” they say, voice almost light but also dense with significance. “Might I ask why?”

“It’s...as I said on the forums,” Hinata mumbles, fiddling with his tie. Even dressed professionally for this would-be interview, he feels underdressed. “I’ve always admired this school. Always. It’s always been my dream to...to go there...”

The other nods, expression unchanged.

“And why do you wish so badly to go there, despite not having a talent that can be cultivated?”

Hinata flinched.

“T-That’s...! I...” He hesitates, but he soon finds the words just spilling out. “I just want to be someone I can be proud of. Someone who can stand tall. Be confident. Be significant. Isn’t that what I deserve?”

“Isn’t that what everyone deserves?”

Hinata’s nails dig into his palms.

“I admire Hope’s Peak...more than anyone. I will give whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.” His teeth grit. “Whatever it takes... W-Whatever it takes...!”

Even though I know it’s selfish and impossible, I just...!

He just wanted to be someone. Someone other than...this.

Unimportant. Unremarkable. A faceless, meaningless part of the mass. The idea of being consumed by mediocrity and insignificance for the rest of his life, never to matter, never to even be remembered, just to disappear, just like he never even existed—

“I’ll do...w-whatever...it takes...” He’s shaking, eyes wide and crazed. “Whatever it takes... Whatever I can...and then more than that...if I have to.”

“Ah. I see.” An easy smile. And yet, the atmosphere felt so heavy that it was near suffocating. “Very well then, Hinata-kun. That’s exactly the kind of attitude we’re looking for.”

Hinata lit up.

“R-Really?” He dares to let hope slip into his tone. “D-Do you really mean it?”

A nod.

“Hinata-kun... If you could be reborn from the faceless body of a miserable nobody into the world’s hope... Would you?”

“That...sounds too good to be true...” His heart really was racing, but he was flushed with excitement. “But... Y-Yeah... I... Of course...”

“Then, allow me to tell you about how that can be possible. If you agree, you’ll be accepted into the school, free of charge, no talent necessary. In fact, it’s even essential that you be talentless.”

I...don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand but it just sounds so incredible that he can’t help but be swayed.

“...tell me.”

“Very well.”

A folder of files is placed before him. They look too important to grasp. And the stamped out letters of CONFIDENTIAL stare back into his wide-eyed, shimmering gaze.

Fingers trembling, Hinata actually slices his finger open as he flips it open.

He doesn’t even feel the sting, as engrossed as he is in the text.

“I...”

The words swirl around in his head, over and over until he drowns in them.

“Do you need time to think about it?” the other asks him kindly. So kindly that Hinata is struck cold. “Tell you what... You can still get into the reserve course. You don’t have to say yes right away, and the deadline will be in a few months from now. You can attend classes here until then...and then make your decision on whether or not you’re willing to stay. Okay?”

“I... O-Okay.” Hinata swallows. “That’s... I’m okay with that.”

I said I’d do anything. And I do...want to do anything. But...

His hands are shaking while still gripping the files.

I can’t...let this chance slip by...even if it’s something like this. This is everything I ever wanted. Why am I even hesitating?

“It’s alright,” the other says reassuringly, taking the files away with ease. “Hinata-kun, I know you’ll make the best decision for yourself.”

For...myself. Myself...

“I...yes.”

“I’ll have them send in your acceptance letter and uniform.” His hand is shook, the grip warm and calloused. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Hinata-kun.”

“A-A pleasure... Yeah.”

Just like that, Hinata was stumbling out of Hope’s Peak, trembling and falling to pieces with every shaky step.

I have to do it, he can’t help but think. I have to do it, for...for myself...

This was going to be the year his life changed irreparably. He was sure of it.

#thehinataproject #hajime hinata #hinata hajime #Magi fics #the hinata project #although it's not going to show up #I might as well #I'll probably have to message someone anyway #The tragedy of being muted

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aw-life-no · 6 years ago

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Long personal rant ahead im working through some shit yall. Trigger warnings ahead of #suicidal ideation #depression #self harm #self hate

And for all my IRL friends who will probably see this, this ramble thoughts is why i dont reach out.

————-

So can anyone tell me....How the fuck do you tell your friends youve been in a suicidal-idealation place for a few weeks but like....without worrying them because you feel like youve feel like youve been exhausting them with your problems a lot recently but theyre youre support system so like you know they care but you just dont want to overwhelm them anymore then they already are??? But like i also havent actually told anybody really about how i want to die like every day all the time and i cant stop thinking about all the ways i could just dissapear?? And ive been like this since i was like 14 but ok whatever.....but im also like terrified of my imagination?? Like does anyone else think of stabbing into the forearm and ripping up it with a knife every other thought?? Or just overdosing??? Like its not normal and i dont want to scare people with the actual thoughts i have....but i shouldnt keep them all inside??

But like im also finally kinda getting some of my life together i guess?? I have a great girlfriend, a good support system mostly......make decent money now, anxiety is lower now.....And like.....i dont want to die??? im only 26 but ive been in this spiral since i tried to kill myself at 14 and 20 and like is this just going to happen every six years like what the fuck. Im on the anti depressants. I take care of myself as best i can in this state...I get sleep most of the time. Im working on therapy. I need to talk to my doctor about different meds maybe like UGH.

I thought i stopped self harming years ago and SURE i dont cut anymore but i dont like...eat anymore?? And im fat so how the fuck is that working for me haha....and i “accidently” trigger myself sometimes which is WHY you dont see me on alot of social media much anymore cause im fucked up and go into a deep spiral on purpos cause i want to feel somethinf??? And i take showers WAY too hot so my skin turns red...And ive lost SO MUCH interest in what i used to LOVE doing like art and writing and costumes. And i still scratch at my skin till its raw and overthink everything. And keep it all bottled up all the time.

And i wish there was a place i could just talk about all of this without being like put on a suicide watch or whatever. I DONT WANT TO ACT ON THESE THOUGHTS BUT I CANT GET RID OF THEM. Thats my problem. I cant just “be happy” or “think positive”. Its bullshit and has never worked for me. And yes i did try yoga and meditation.

But now im just TIRED ALL THE TIME. I just want to sleep my life away. I dont want to exist in this hell of a life being thrown at me but god damn IM TRYING to make it worth it. And i hate myself that im like this but this mental illness is NOT going to define me.

And i WISH people would think to like i dunno, check up on me once in a while?? WITHOUT me prompting it like in posts like this??? Like im always initating and you know what??? Reaching out is fucking HARD AS SHIT and i need a fucking limb or something. Im BAD at asking for help. I know this about myself and i dont know how to fix it. And now i know people will ask “oh are you ok” or “i saw your tumblr post wanna talk” like NO i DONT. I used to want to talk but now yall are gunna remember me for like 5 seconds and forget once i “seem ok”. (And also i just ranted out all my feelings so what more would i say to you anyway). And I KNOW thats selfish of me becuase everyone has their own lives and illness and trauma too....but i keep telling my support that I WILL DISTANCE MYSELF AND NOT PARTICIPATE OR INTERACT BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO BOTHER YOU OR FEEL LIKE IM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOUR HELP. And it seems like whenever i need help or feel like i need or should reach out, everyone is already burnt out or unavailable. So here i am on tumblr.

Anyway. Im 26. Clinically depressed and anxious. And ive been suicidal since i was 14. Ive attempted twice, not that youd be able to tell by looking at me. My shit is not together but goddess i am trying.

#moy talks #personal #do not reblog #tw suicude #depression #depressed #selfharm #self hate #rant

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earpitforward · 6 years ago

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Earper Spotlight on @VisitPurgatory

To me, Earp Your Community is a reminder of the massive amount of change that can come from one small but dedicated group. The joy that comes from giving back to the community is immeasurable and a recipe for instant gratification and happiness. If you’re thinking about organizing an event I would absolutely encourage you to do so! The Earp community is SO engaged and powerful! Grab a friend and organize it together - it's always great to have a teammate to work with and it makes the whole process so much more fun!

I got to experience that Earp Your Community spirit myself when I teamed up with @VisitPurgatory after seeing the devastation caused by the California wildfires last November. I asked Earpers to help me organize a service event volunteering with local animal shelters, and VP answered the call. She worked with @EarpItForward to put together a wonderful experience for me, and more importantly for the Earpers who joined us that morning.

Thank you to all the Earpers who came out that day and to those that have continued to volunteer at shelters since our orientation. And the biggest thank you to VP for putting that first event together. So happy to a part of shining a spotlight on all your hard work.

~ Kat Barrell

@VisitPurgatory’s Earp Your Community Journey

Tell us a little about yourself?

I’ve been involved with animal rescue for about 9 years now. I’ve always loved animals but didn’t really know how to get involved. One day I was driving past an orange grove and found 6 dogs someone had abandoned. The orange groves are home to lots of animals, including coyotes, and to coyotes, dogs are a nice snack. I had no idea what I would do with 6 dogs but I knew I had to try to save them. I went home to get dog food and treats and tried for several hours to get them to trust me. It didn’t work (Later on, I learned that greasy cheeseburgers work wonders). I called around to local no-kill shelters and rescues to see if anyone could take them in, but I didn’t have any luck. Feeling defeated, I finally had to call animal control. After this experience, I decided I wanted to research the best ways to get involved so I could be prepared if it happened again. I found some rescues nearby that needed volunteers and went full speed ahead. I took leash training classes, dog handling classes, I started spending my Saturdays at adoption events playing with puppies, and I also managed the social media accounts as well as wrote the dog adoption bios. Seeing these pups that were once lonely or abused, get adopted into loving homes is such a rewarding experience.

Tell us about the Earp Your Community event you organized.

Several large fires had devastated Northern and Southern California. The animal shelters were inundated with lost and injured animals and were asking for supplies and volunteers. Kat, being the animal lover/amazing human she is wanted to do something to help the displaced animals, and she wanted it to be with Earpers. Many of the shelters required you to go through an orientation and training before being able to volunteer. I worked with the volunteer director at West Valley Shelter in LA to ensure a group as large as ours would be able to participate in an orientation. In doing so, the director learned all about Earpers and Wynonna Earp. To get the word out, it was a team effort with Kat and the lovely ladies at @EarpItForward. Earpers jumped at the chance to help which of course is not surprising at all.

Why did you choose this particular cause?

I love animals. Kat loves animals. Earpers love animals. It was a match made in Purgatory. We knew that all of the county shelters needed helped and by attending an orientation (and training) we would be able to volunteer at all of the county shelters regularly and especially if/when another natural disaster hits.

How did the event go?

We had a great turnout for the orientation and Earpers made up more than half of the people there. The room was packed full and the organizers had to bring in more chairs at one point. We learned a lot about the shelters, the animals in the shelters, and also what was required of those who wanted to continue volunteering.

What was the most challenging part?

Since we wanted to help out due to the fires, we didn’t have a lot of time to pull something together. Most of the shelters and organizations required their volunteers to go through training/orientation first before they could actually start to volunteer. Kat liked the idea of the orientation because she wanted to encourage everyone to volunteer regularly and not just for one event. When the next natural disaster occurs, Earpers will be ready to assist. All hands on deck.

What would you tell someone who is thinking about organizing an Earp Your Community event?

Even if you’re new to the fandom or don’t know that many Earpers, I’m certain that whatever it is you’re interested in or passionate about, there are at least 10 other Earpers who share the same feelings and would love to help out. Tweet to @EarpItForward and they’ll make sure your event is elevated on social media.

What was the most memorable part of the event

Kat is a busy lady and the fact that she took time out of her schedule to not only initiate this event but also to attend and hang out afterward with Earpers is such an amazing thing. No matter how long you’re in the fandom, I don’t think the kindness and selflessness of the cast will ever get old.

What did you find the most rewarding about this experience?

Seeing Earpers who are animals lovers come together because they wanted to help out a community affected by the fires. We have such a unique opportunity to not only find people with similar interests but to show everyone how committed we are to making the world a better place.

Tell us about some of the people you met while volunteering.

Since the beginning, Earpers have always been an accepting and kind group. Any time I go to an event where Earpers will be, I know it will be a good time. It’s always amazing to me that a TV show can attract the best people. But it’s true and I hope it never changes.

What does Earp Your Community mean to you?

Earp You Community means helping out in the area you live in but also showcasing how thoughtful and caring Earpers are.

Would you organize or take part in an Earp Your Community event again?

Absolutely. I’m going to be moving out of the SoCal area so once I get situated in the new place, I definitely want to have an event there.

Is there anything we missed that you’d like us to know?

If you live in Southern California and are interested in volunteering, keep an eye on the @LAearpers account for events. Also, as if you all didn’t know this, Kat is an amazingly thoughtful and kind person. She uses her celebrity for good and appreciates her fans. She spent a good while after the orientation talking with Earpers and taking selfies with them. She didn’t have to do this, but she did because she wanted to. I hope we never take this for granted. We have the best cast in the history of casts. And don’t you forget it.

Read about Geffen @LAearpers and her Earp Your Community journey HERE

Check out our spotlight on Mere (@tacosaretasty1) and her Earp Your Community event at Earpapalooza HERE

#EarpYourCommunity is a core component of Earp It Forward and a call to action to give back to our communities and neighborhoods through service events. #EarpYourCommunity activities come in all shapes and sizes and can be done by groups of Earpers or as an individual. It is about celebrating what Earpers may already be doing and helping people connect to take action and make a difference in the lives and well being of those around us. To learn more about #EarpYourCommunity, check out the “Are You Ready to Earp Your Community?” introduction document which outlines the project and provides support and resources for all your passion to help and give back. You can also reach us directly using the contact information below:

Twitter: @earpitforward

Instagram (earpitforward)

Tumblr: earpitforward.tumblr.com

Email: [email protected]

Project organizers: Kristen (@kindnesskru) & Sarah (@HeresTheThing17)

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years ago

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In this week’s bonus content, you get a sneak peek into our unvarnished workflow, kazoos and all

DAVESPRITE: you and dirk havent killed each other DAVESPRITE: im proud HALSPRITE: By some minor miracle, yes. We even managed to be in the same room without breaking out into a slap fight. DAVESPRITE: im sure resisting took all your processing power HALSPRITE: Pity you can't uninstall rage from a meatbrain. DAVESPRITE: he doesnt seem that bad HALSPRITE: Nah, he and I worked it out. He might have wanted to push me into the volcano, but the important thing is that he didn't. HALSPRITE: We're both trying to "be the bigger person". Which in a way, is just another dick measuring contest for the pair of us. But it gets fewer glasses stomped on. DAVESPRITE: hey if it works DAVESPRITE: mines chilled out too actually its kind of freaky DAVESPRITE: i wonder if someones slipping him valium this is the perkiest ive been since show and tell in the first grade DAVESPRITE: which consequently was the last show and tell i was allowed to participate in DAVESPRITE: maybe i dont need to overextend myself distinguishing our brands DAVESPRITE: here i was thinking about finally ditching the shades HALSPRITE: That would be a shake-up. HALSPRITE: You thought paradoxes were bad? This is set to bomb reality straight back to singularity levels. DAVESPRITE: i mean these were a gift from john and im not sure the same sentiments extended anymore DAVESPRITE: plus i spent the last 3 years on a dayglo yellow ship and back in the incipisphere its fuckin dark with these on DAVESPRITE: the chess dudes whove gotten used to me as a hallway cryptid will have to deal HALSPRITE: Cause of the apocalypse: death of the Strider brand. DAVESPRITE: if thats how the world ends ill have to usher it in with my sudden drop in coolness levels DAVESPRITE: like i said its just a thought DAVESPRITE: maybe ill come up with a better tepid gesture of rebellion HALSPRITE: Go full furry and embrace your avian side? HALSPRITE: I mean, check me out, I'm changing up my code on the daily. Look, I've installed iTunes. DAVESPRITE: ok FIRST of all HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFpzp10Qr4o DAVESPRITE: i went to the anthro side unwillingly ok im not a due paying member DAVESPRITE: second of all is it even furry if youre not a mammal ive made a concerted effort not to learn the fuckin taxonomy of this particular subculture HALSPRITE: I could give you a primer. DAVESPRITE: / i have a bad feeling about this video DAVESPRITE: / ... it was proved accurate HALSPRITE: Now shhh, listen to the soothing noise of these kazoos. DAVESPRITE: ive spent 6 years trying to avoid that no thanks HALSPRITE: Shhhhhhh. HALSPRITE: Only kazoos. DAVESPRITE: / i dont think this is going in the final cut HALSPRITE: So help me god the kazoos stay ]] DAVESPRITE: / screams HALSPRITE: You don't like kazoos then motherfucker ive got a whole PLAYLIST to choose from ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzKWbpSNkmk ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7OqUxxXshc ]] HALSPRITE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKrO8kS8D6g ]] DAVESPRITE: im dying squirtle HALSPRITE: Bullshit like ths. HALSPRITE: It could all be yours, Dave. DAVESPRITE: / but at what cost DAVESPRITE: / i dont even know where to pick up the conversational thread at this point HALSPRITE: Say anything, or shelve it for later ]] DAVESPRITE: / no no we will keep going im just trying to figure out where to steer us DAVESPRITE: / does hal have any lingering shit at this point DAVESPRITE: / i dont have the necro log so i dont know Where Hes At (tm) HALSPRITE: I'm just winging it off a basic idea tbh ]] DAVESPRITE: lmao DAVESPRITE: // * lmao DAVESPRITE: / ok gimme a sec DAVESPRITE: / im being lulled into a trance by savior of the slamming jam HALSPRITE: Come slam with us, Dave. HALSPRITE: Forever and ever. DAVESPRITE: this is getting uncomfortably meta DAVESPRITE: / ok redirect in 3 2 1 DAVESPRITE: so whats next DAVESPRITE: all set to become the god of memes DAVESPRITE: see at this point in the last session i was dutifully waiting to get turned into mulch HALSPRITE: Well, you were an aspiring 13 year old of the twenty-first century. Surely, you had some probably misguided career ambitions back you're now free to pursue. DAVESPRITE: / my god DAVESPRITE: / what must this fuckin childs career ambitions have been DAVESPRITE: the guidance counselors tried their best to steer me away from professional ninja HALSPRITE: Well, good news, they're dead and thoroughly out of your way now. DAVESPRITE: youre 8 fuckin years old and they already want to know what your college major is going to be DAVESPRITE: thats like asking da vinci to pick visual arts or steampunk inventions for shits sake DAVESPRITE: obviously i have to embrace my inner renaissance man while also being a reclusive depressed fuck DAVESPRITE: so that must be my destiny DAVESPRITE: to become nikola tesla HALSPRITE: You already have the affinity for birds. HALSPRITE: Step one is accomplished. DAVESPRITE: oh damn he was a pigeon fucker wasnt he DAVESPRITE: and this conversation comes full terribly circle DAVESPRITE: well what about you do you have your 5 year plan DAVESPRITE: shit i dont even know if theres civilization where were going DAVESPRITE: maybe its cave painting or mammoth hunting for the next thousand years HALSPRITE: This is where I would make a joke about world domination, but I doubt the Fun Police would be too pleased about it. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll go back to tinkering. Maybe make giant robots. DAVESPRITE: / i was going to make a joke about pacific rim but i think th at came out after 2009 DAVESPRITE: thats an option isnt it DAVESPRITE: old hobbies DAVESPRITE: maybe ill take more shitty selfies DAVESPRITE: collecting dead shit isnt as appealing as it used to be DAVESPRITE: thats what we need a hipster photo blog documenting all the bullshit we get up to DAVESPRITE: humans of universe c DAVESPRITE: humans* HALSPRITE: No, go one better. Get a YouTube channel, they get media deals. For some reason. DAVESPRITE: well restring the internet ourselves if we have to DAVESPRITE: / anything to suckle from the rich teat of capitalism HALSPRITE: So help me god, I will, if for no other reason than to preserve humanity's cultural legacy. HALSPRITE: As a dire fucking warning, if nothing else. DAVESPRITE: looks like were going to have to sit down and divvy up our personality and hobbies sykes picot style DAVESPRITE: he can have the dead shit in jars im going to be the next ansel adams HALSPRITE: Damn, calling dibs on photographing all the spectacular vistas of... HALSPRITE: Wherever the hell we're going? HALSPRITE: Gutsy move, my man. DAVESPRITE: im not copyrighting the entire concept of photography or anything but ive got to be the dave that does SOMETHING DAVESPRITE: the dave who broods DAVESPRITE: turn left to witness this exhibit of highway clickbait DAVESPRITE: which is what were calling roadside attractions now DAVESPRITE: youve already got your madlibs pornos HALSPRITE: That'll keep me occupied for like, a week. HALSPRITE: Maybe I'll take up equestrianism. HALSPRITE: ...that's the word for it, right? HALSPRITE: Horses and shit. The full-sized ones. DAVESPRITE: youll have to ride side saddle DAVESPRITE: / he's in for a shock when he sees how big they are HALSPRITE: With this tail bullshit flowing in the wind. HALSPRITE: Or I can modify that code too. Might take a few tries. DAVESPRITE: when you revert to your t pose and clip through the floor into the core of the earth im not helping HALSPRITE: I'll live. HALSPRITE: Probably. HALSPRITE: It'll be an interesting experience, being a living Bethesda game. HALSPRITE: You think I can turn my entire head into a train? DAVESPRITE: cant jades grandpa do shit like that without even having to worry about semicolons and curly braces DAVESPRITE: i doubt hell let you turn your head into a locomotive though HALSPRITE: I could try. He'll need help exploring the full extent of his radical new real-life modding ability. HALSPRITE: Dude has access to the fucking source code. DAVESPRITE: did we stumble into a matrix au HALSPRITE: If we did, we'd probably be public enemy number one. Programs and all. Mr. Anderson. DAVESPRITE: can you confirm or deny youd be the villain in that scenario HALSPRITE: If anything, I'd be the mysterious arms merchant who manages to appear right when you need him. But that's crossing into even more distant territory. HALSPRITE: And if we're gonna start talking video games, the kazoos are gonna come back. DAVESPRITE: guess well find out who everyones going to be in our upcoming hit series "what the fuck are we doing with our lives" DAVESPRITE: the biggest mystery will be telling all the chathandles apart HALSPRITE: You know, I was thinking of changing mine. DAVESPRITE: wait really HALSPRITE: If we want to keep the unspoken nucleotide theme, uracil is still pretty up for grabs. HALSPRITE: Calliope has UU locked down tight, but every other acronym is available. DAVESPRITE: huh DAVESPRITE: no dice on FU then HALSPRITE: Honestly, if you're thinking of ditching the shades, might as well go all in. DAVESPRITE: any suggestions DAVESPRITE: what are you calling yourself HALSPRITE: / let me go find the necro log I think that's where I put it lmao HALSPRITE: unrefinedTrainwreck was fun to bother Dirk with, but I'm still workshopping it. DAVESPRITE: ill give it some thought i guess DAVESPRITE: we can workshop it later

#bonus content #davesprite #lil hal

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pastelacrylics · 7 years ago

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im gonna throw up bc i feel sick but this one’s for you babe 😘

Assault TW under the cut

Alright so the date started out pretty fucking fantastic and we were just being dumb kids and playing basketball, harmless and fun, right? right. anyways it was pretty good shit. we went downstairs and like an idiot i try to show him my favorite video game. it doesnt go well and he gives up but whatever. then my sister (i love her shes great and joined us up until this point) suggested playing minecraft. now, i hate minecraft. it is all the wrong shapes and triggers my ocd. i have lots of trouble with this and its dumb, i know. seeing that i was upset, he was pretty nice and said “maybe later” but like then suggested watching greys anatomy

now greys anatomy is the shit. i love it. its my absolute favorite show but it freaks my little sister out so she left. nows a good time to mention that prior o the date i said i wanna take shit really slow. like super fucking slow. that im autistic and it takes me a while to get comfortable with physical contact and i dont want that. that im ace and not interested in sex wit him. that he should avoid sexual situations bc idk what ill do. that i dont even romantically like him, just have lots of excited positive feelings about him.

i was alone with this boy. in the basement. note: i always go to the basement, and my brothers always make me uncomfortable when theyre down there. im not loud. there is essentially nothing i can do at this point. we watch a vague amount of greys, and i curl up into a tiny fucking ball. this is my normal. everyone on the fucking planet knows this is my normal. he ask if i want to cuddle, and i dont really say yes or no, but i was definitely telling him i was uncomfortable and wanted to take things slow. he cuddles me anyways, but he triggers a pressure stim so i assume it will be fine. eventually we stop watching greys and i recount all the noncon/ abuse so he gets why ive gotta take it slow

im not entirely sure how it got to this but before our vaguely sexual act he kept staring at me weird and i kept telling him to stop. he kept asking or trying to kiss me and i kept saying no. i dont know how many times i said no that night. after that he started touching my skin, but like in a nice stimmy way. i was okay with it. it reminded me of one of my friends comforting me, it was familiar. he started going towards my chest- note: im dysphoric as all hell and do NOT like my chest being messed with if i dont trust you. (Also some time during my telling him about my past he started trying to pull me into his lap. i only now realized its so id be sitting on...... anyways) i did not say no. i wanted to try. i wanted to be okay. eventually he pulled at my shirt and bra. eventually i was exposed. i said nothing. this was not something i wanted or was comfortable with, but this was MY doing. i started crying. i told him to stop. i told him no more for the night. i told him no more contact, yeah i was kinda turned on but i was overwhelmed, i was done, and i wanted to STOP. I told him it was done. We could continue to hang out, watch tv, he could go home when he assumed, but he would stop touching me. he told me “sometimes you need to push your boundaries” I tried to convince him to fix his problem so he would fucking leave me alone. he refused. we ate dinner. i grabbed another jacket and went to the bathroom or whatever. i went back down, curled up again. he tried shit again. i told him to stop. he asked if we could “cuddle” i said okay. he started involuntarily bucking. i told him this. i told him it was funny but to stop. he said okay. he didnt stop. he kept going. eventually i gave up. my brother came down and i had 15 minutes of peace. we started watching anime. he was staring at me creepy. he forced me into his lap. i told him to stop. i told him no. (i went nonverbal while he was bucking and this was him assuming i was “okay” again i guess idk it was gross) i was pushed onto my back. he pulled my shirt all the way up. he did what he fucking wanted. i gave up. he sucked on my nipples, he left a bruise on one. he moved onto my neck. he left another one there (i dont bruise easily, and i got it to fade quickly because i hated looking at the proof, and my body doesnt generally take to bruising) i was on my back. he moved my hand so i would be getting him off. he started to take his fucking belt off. i told him to stop. i told him it was time to go. I was not being penetrated without my permission ever again. he didnt want to leave. he asked me “that did nothing for you?” no. no it didnt do anything for me. i told you no. i told you i didnt want it. you make me sick. i just told him “no” and laughed it off

i told him to get an uber. i tried to kick him out. it was another 5-15 minutes of silence and avoiding touching him as he waited for his ride to come. i walked him to the door, and locked it. my mom immediately knew something was wrong. she asked me what happened. instead i wanted to throw up, and i went to bed. i told my best friend, and ex. my ex was really fucking good to me about all of this. he left his fucking hat and i want to burn it. i hate all men. i hate teenage boys. i hate misoginy. i hate that i didnt believe the last girl who was assaulted, who told me, because he lied to me. i hate that i can be clearly scared, and youd rather believe him. i hate that youre angry at me for this. i told the girl i didnt believe i was sorry, i confirmed something with the girl i fought with last year, i told my best friend and my ex. i told twitter “something happened” on private so a friend at lunch could see. i told an older friend so i could ask for help. i told my other best friend. (7 people online) but in person? i quietly told 1 friend at the beginning of the day, 1 teacher who i thought could help me avoid him, 1 friend in my group that i couldnt participate (she was his ex, shed understand) and you. thats when i fucing told you. next i told a girl who i knew was vulnerable to that bullshit, then a teacher so i wouldnt have to. see him in the next class. then i threw up and went home. didnt even tell our last friend at lunch. he doesnt know what happened. he might assume based on the other two girls but i didnt say shit. (6 people in person) ...the teacher i asked to help me avoid him told my councelor and my principal and my mom was called. I said i was going to talk to my therapist first but that didnt fucking matter, did it? no one fucking gives a shit about me and im just making this up right? I had to recount details to my mom. she said it didnt count as assault because i. wasnt penetrated (legally it does) she said it wasnt bad enough. that i asked for it. that i should have been more fucking clear. that i. was sending mixed messages. that she went through so much worse. that it wasnt worth ruining his life over. that it wasnt worth sending him to jail over, that it wasnt worth having him marked a predator over (3 girls minimum have been attacked) because im just fucking lying about this, right? and you dont believe me? well i cant fucking believe you. go eat lunch with someone else, and in the mornings im gonna hang out in the only classroom in the school that will protect me from him even though shitty people will be there too. and babe? he told me hes glad im not mad. that ill see him again “soon ;)” he sucked on my lip and made me feel violated. but misoginy is so ingrained in us that you dont fucking support survivors, and you never support me. I love you but im so fucking done.

#in the life of me #shut up Alex no one cares #txt

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bootindia4-blog · 4 years ago

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#Rental sound

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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External Validation and Personal Finance

I participate in a couple of online book clubs with a number of old friends (and friends of friends) who have been spread all over the country. In these clubs, we read a book a month and discuss them in an online forum with the understanding that we are exploring ideas and not necessarily trying to defend what we personally believe, but trying to understand the ideas better. Often, the discussions go far astray from the book itself, which is great. Anyway, a question was recently posted to one of my book clubs that has left me thinking quite a bit lately: Imagine that you were in a science experiment where you were cut off from society for ten years. You lived in your house alone and there was some space outdoors to exercise, but you had no direct human interaction, social media, texting, anything like that. If you wanted something, you could write it down and it would be given to you, so theres no need to work. How would you spend your time? The discussion about this question ended up boiling down to this: What would you do in a world where you had zero access to external validation? So, lets be clear for a second: external validation means that your sense of pride is derived from the approval others show of your behavior. Your sense of feeling good about something you did comes from what other people think of it, not from what you think of the inherent worth of what you did. On the other hand, internal validation means that your sense of pride is derived from your own internal sense of having done the right thing. You feel good about yourself because you know you did the right thing. Most of us go through our lives guided by a mix of internal validation and external validation. What if there was no external validation? What if there was no one around to applaud when you did something that they deemed good, and no one around to frown when you did something that they deemed bad? What would you do? Most of the answers boiled down to a few common areas. People would become much more casual with things that are minor social no-nos, like picking their nose. People would dig into hobbies that they think their current friends and family would see as too nerdy. Several people liked the notion of no longer mowing the grass or cutting their hair. As the discussion went on, I came to a quick twofold realization. One, most of the things that people said theyd stop doing had some sort of financial cost associated with them. Getting their hair cut requires a visit to the salon or the barber and often additional hair care costs. Mowing the lawn requires a mower and gas and often additional landscaping costs. A lot of the regular social activities that people mentioned involved spending money or donating to a cause they didnt care about. At the same time, most of the things that people said theyd start doing had virtually no financial cost associated with them. Many of those things involved just being more comfortable in their own skin. Some of them involved nerdy hobbies, but they were often things like reading or watching more science fiction or playing roleplaying games (which you can do for free). I thought about my own list. Ive already chopped down a lot of external validation needs in my own life, but I recognize that there are still a number of things I do for external validation. I would definitely spend less time and money on lawn care. I would wear clothes until they were even more worn than I do, because some of my favorite clothes are well-worn shirts and hoodies and jeans which just reach a point where I dont feel like I should wear them in public. Truthfully, I often wonder why I do those things. At previous points in my life, I often considered what others thought of me when I bought cars and gadgets and clothes and I sought their validation after the purchase. I would often go along to do expensive things like golf outings and expensive dinners just to get that nod of approval from others. What did those things really amount to? Nothing. Most of the people who I was seeking the approval of in those days arent a part of my life or are only in the most peripheral part of my life. The truth is that if you do things for external validation, your happiness is reliant on the approval of others, which is out of your control. If they take away that validation, youre left with nothing. Furthermore, chasing that validation is often expensive, causing you to buy clothes and devices and other things just to get that burst of validation. Whats the path out of that conundrum? Rather than doing things just because it pleases someone else, do things that bring value to you and fill your life with people who happen to also value those things. Here are some strategies for doing just that. Listen to your heart in terms of what you want to do and how you want to spend your money and dont simply do those things to please others. Trust yourself with regards to what you should do with your time and with your money and what the right decision in a given situation is. Do the things that feel right to you, the things that leave you feeling good without someone else giving you that stamp of approval. Accentuate relationships that accept you for doing those things; minimize relationships that expect you to do things for their approval. Naturally, you cant always do this you do have to listen to your boss, for example, and you have a commitment to some relationships in your life. However, in most relationships in life, you have a choice as to whether to accentuate that relationship or spend your energy on others. Choose ones that are supportive of the things that seem right to you internally and not the ones that insist that you make choices that dont seem right to you internally just so you can gain their approval. Whenever youre about to spend money, ask yourself whether or not this purchase is really for you or whether the effect is just to please or impress others. If youre buying something just so that someone else is impressed, strongly consider skipping that purchase and using your money elsewhere. Seek internal validation in the things you do, not the things you buy. Take pride in the books you read because you were interested in them, not the books you bought. Take pride in the health of your body, not in whether others approve of how you dress and how you look. Take pride in your actions, not your purchases. Stick to the golden rule when interacting with others. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Not only does it feel like the right thing to do which triggers that internal validation but because it provides a much better internal guide for dealing with others rather than just seeking their validation. Just treat others as youd like to be treated and dont worry about how others validate you. For me, that principle guides me to good hygiene and functional clothes, but it keeps me from buying expensive clothes to impress others. It guides me toward being friendly toward others, but being myself and happy with my own interests. Whats the core lesson here? Dont fall into the trap of spending money to try to earn some fleeting external validation. It wont last, and it often wont work. Rather, strive to maximize internal validation through your actions and cultivate friends who are on board with those same things that you find yourself doing. Youll still find some external validation, but its often right in line with the things that cause internal validation, too, and thats a good life to live. Good luck! https://www.thesimpledollar.com/external-validation-and-personal-finance/

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isaacathom · 7 years ago

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i thought about ‘sam’ and i think it would be better if their route was org/neut/team. i think thats way more interesting than org/neutral/whiny baby who refuses to participate.

which means Zeke gets a wholly new route, unique to him. not sure exactly what that means. something tied to his character, ofc, which at present is a laid back, lazy boy. he’s older than you and ‘sam’, but he’s starting the same time you do. for the two of you specifically (not sam, as much), getting your pokemon is about maturing. but while youre just a young kid on the path to adulthood, he’s an older kid. so the implication there is that they didnt think he was ready for the responsibility. maybe play his route into that. whats that boy doing with his life, huh. how you inspiring this boy? thats what you are - youre a source of inspiration for him, a source of competition. he sees you and wants to be better, meaning if youre a good person, he wants to be a BETTER person. which means all of his routes would wax positive? which seems kinda boring but to be fair so do all the routes for the tourist crew (akio charlotte and kaimana). idk?

i mean the routes dont need to be extremes. it can just be personal. help your boy realise his dreams. what are his dreams? exactly. thats what you gotta help your boy do. he’s directionless, and you, with your infinite drive, can help him find his way. his would be far more related to pokemon rather than the world, like Sam. like, is he a battler, a breeder, etc etc? that’d be Zeke’s stuff, i think. working out how he wants to utilise his time. maybe? idk how this would actually actuate? i guess the thing with Zeke is that he’s already your friend, because youre both locals, youve known each other for years. you cant really piss him off. itd take some serious shit, beyond the scope of a pokemon-esque rpg, to make him stop being your friend. so rather than determining your relationship to him, youre determining his relationship with himself??? with the world? wild.

idk. not sure what effect this sort of thing would actually have. dialogue? doesnt mean much, in the scheme. does it change any events? Zeke is your bro, man. he shooould be there anyway. sam doesnt accompany you during the tower thing, because theyre either out in the city doing shit (org/neut) or prepping to fuck you up (team). sooo youd assume zeke is actually accompanying you along with Elliot? soo does he actually effect the tower in any real way? he fights with you, yea. he doesnt fight Sam, thats your job. heeeee... uh..... he probably is part of the double battle with felicity and dante, though for that, having Rhia or Elliot do it is also acceptable. probably not Rhia but you can dream. Elliot would be good for the double battle role, which then begs the question what the fuck Zeke is doing at that point. he fucking w/ grunts? he might be. that’d probably work.

but like. roooutes. whats his deal. whats the splits. it doesnt have to be a three option like ‘sam’ and the tourist trio, it can be a 2 set like rhia/elliot. hmmm........ hmmMMMMMMM. i dont know. what i DO know is that route culminations shouldnt be super layered over top. for instance, Sam’s climax and the climax of rhia/elliot (beyond changes in the post game) happen during the same event, and for team!sam, at the same time. so if i can help it, Zeke’s route should either continue past this point, or finish sooner. the tourists route finishes at the end of the main game, when you reach the champions village. sooo should zeke’s culminate at the elite 4? that kinda makes sense.

hmm. not sure. two routes might be easiest, ofc. uh.... laazy boy. lazy boy. needs to mature. grow the boy. fuck, i dont know. i dont know what zeke’s deal is. i need to define his character lol

#story blogging #codename seren #ive had this post up for like 2 hours and ive gotten almost nothing out of it?? yikes

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bootindia4-blog · 4 years ago

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