#you dont have to but itd mean a lot to me if you voted for them and/or reblogged this so more people can see

[ocpdzim]

Vreeza is competing in the @original-character-championship​ bracket! Please vote for them! VOTE FOR VREEZA HERE: https://www.tumblr.com/original-character-championship/714142908732850176/bracket-f-round-1

Please also check out Vreeza’s page on my website, https://ocpdzim.neocities.org/vreeza ! There, you can see a lot more art, their playlist, way more information about them, and several short written pieces about them! Feel free also to send asks about Vreeza - chances are whatever you’re wondering about I have an answer for it.

Out of my OCs, Vreeza is the one who has seen the most continuous use - they’re my primary character for chatroom RP with my friends, and they have been since 2017! They’re an alien who came to Earth for a school project when they were 13, but almost immediately crashed their spaceship in the Everglades while trying to park it and got stranded. In the years since then, they’ve been living there in their tiny space camper, growing most of their own food in the lab, and have made a lot of friends online. Their school was pretty rough, so they’re happy to be on Earth even though they’re technically stranded in a hostile environment.

Vreeza’s usual appearance is actually a holo-disguise, they originally put it together simply for the purpose of avoiding trouble but they now wear it nearly all the time, even when they’re at home, because they’ve gotten used to it - they consider it more their face than their actual face is, since they designed it themself and since it’s the one all their friends know them by. Without it, they look like this:

A fun fact about Vreeza is they’re like, double nonbinary - their culture has 4 different assigned genders, none of which are “man” or “woman,” so everyone there would be nonbinary by human standards, but Vreeza’s gender is ALSO not any of those four either. Upon arriving on Earth and encountering men and women, they assumed that humans were just really into neopronouns, and since they thought that was awesome since they’re nonquaternary too and therefore never said anything about it, no one has had a chance to correct them.

Also, the inside of their shitty little space mobile home looks like this:

and they keep it at 130 degrees Fahrenheit because they are from a hothouse planet and Earth is too cold for them, even the Everglades. The walls and floor are made entirely of metal and it hasn’t got windows. They only have 1 chair and no bed. Usually their pet really big frog is sitting in the only chair anyway so nobody else can. Even though they bought a TV it doesn’t actually work because they don’t know how to hook it up to cable or streaming services. They’ve got the super bright daylight fluorescent overhead lights. House guests hate it!

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

i think we need to switch up "hear me out" cakes to be multiple cakes

and your friends' reaction decides where your pick goes. like. they do "the council has decided to hear you out" type shit, y'know?? like. not on degrees of "we agree/disagree" but on the "this is a Hear Me Out/that is a Chronically Online take/that is a You Are Not Alone pick", you feel me?? i can say more

(also heads up: all my examples here are male. bc im building off what ive seen on people's cakes and most of "the spectrum" is men; bc a LOT of people's female hear-me-outs are just "a woman who is mid 30s or older" (who may be a lil kooky, like Eda Clawthorne from "Owl House") or be a female monster-fuckery example (like the female xenomorph from "Alien"). i've never seen an in-between in one of these cakes. the only one iiiii could think of was when 10 year-old me thought itd be cute to hold hands with (in a sapphic puppy-love way) or kiss the cheek of Eliza Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberries", but even then, i dont think Eliza is that weird for me to have crushed on as a kid??? anyway. if a wlw or "im not a girl but i like girls in a sapphic way" type or even a "im horny for women in a way that is not a cishetero white man's headspace" wants to help me by thinking of female equivalences for these following categories??? ill proverbially kiss your forehead. my brain is too dead rn, im also a two-spirited person who is kinda aroace (demi-romantic and very asexual) anyway, and im too focused on "Hollywood, do better" about the lack of spectrum for women to Actually Think Of The Rare Female Characters Who Do Fit This Overall Spectrum Of Items rn)

1️⃣: the main biggie is still the "hear me out" cake

in my opinion, these are ones where the creators themselves would be shocked you liked them (eg. me when i was 11 and going all 👉👈 about the headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie" or, y'know what, fuck it, the number 5. not Numbuh 5 from "KND", but the literal number 5 in mathematics. give me absurdism). and i say "creators" bc there shouldnt be irl humans here; bc thats either mean bc its based on looks (stop putting Steve Carrell in there) or its "buddy?? this just killed the mood" (like irl serial killers and shit, like, "no, no, save that for your therapist, no"). so we are predominantly looking at fictional, animated (2D, CGI, comics, illustrated, etc), puppets, masked, heavy make-up, that kinda thing okay?? not just a literal irl person and their face. that just feels mean (why! have i seen!! Steve Carrell! four different times!! guys!!! he's a real person who other real people can look like, that could hurt his or someone's feelings in a big way, wtf!) plus also some absurdism (again, the number 5, but maybe also planets? like Planet X would be on par with the number 5 to me of baffling but "...y'know what? i'll hear you out. sell me on this" lmao)

but again, that's irl humans. so it can be fictional Regular Humans (they just, i guess, gotta be very heinous to be a Regular Human yet qualify for this) (eg. Chris McLean from "Total Drama Island". bc my friends heard me out during a ppt of Weird Childhood (+ Some Lifelong) Crushes i did where one slide was the "Growing Up Creepie" cockroach with snorts and snickers, but still. and then i changed slides to Chris and they screamed and did a (joking) impromptu intervention for me bc of that, even tho *i* think Chris McLean should be one of the two other cakes im about to mention. but i have been out-voted), it can be costumed actors (eg. a live-action "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" of your choice, the Ferryman from "Annabelle Comes Home", the logo of the Quaker Oats guy, or MAYBE Moe from "The Doodlebops") where there's a spectrum of "that's a guy and his face" and enough make-up where you're like "okay, this hear me out has nothing to do with the facial features here being considered 'ugly' or unconventional"

but just: overall the Appearance Fuckery is either "has no intention of making this person/creature/thing remotely attractive" (eg. i seriously doubt the number 5 was designed to "be hot" lol) OR "they are actively trying to make this person not-hot and not-cool on purpose" (eg. the giant headless cockroach from "Growing Up Creepie", he's not supposed to be hot or cool, he's just kinda there lol but i guess you could also argue like.. idk, im thinking of how Robert Pattison did a very unattractive voice while acting as the Grey Heron of "The Boy & The Heron". like, youre not supposed to find the Heron attractive or cool or anything, i think lmao). that's the point here. at least to me

2️⃣: the other is "normal: but chronically online take" cake, it is the middle one of this trio i am pitching

in my mind, this is the category where "someone put effort to make this character seem attractive or cool or likable beyond their actions"... but they're also unconventional as a pick, it's "not a 'normie' choice" to make (no derogatory intent to "normies" btw)

so this is where we get into shit like the Green Goblin from the Toby McGuire "Spider-man" movies, specifically his robo-suit. sure, the suit may not be rom-com-attractive to look at, and, sure, he may be written sympathetically so audiences have affection for them (moreso Osborn with how they made him scared of himself and clueless to the harm he has caused, but close enough); but that robo-suit WAS made to look COOL. it was made to be liked and gotten toys and posters of, and a person having a crush on the Green Goblin in the robo-suit is a "normal: but chronically online take" in my mind. does that make sense?? bc im adding John Silver from "Treasure Planet" up there too, bc it's Disney and he was meant to be likeable (to betray Jim, yeah, but still), he was not meant to be a romantic lead, but he was drawn and characterized to be likable. that's just a fat man that's a cyborg and a little bit alien; and he's hot. he's a normal person to like, in my mind

but this category as a whole would be me vaguely Getting why some "normies" would scream "nO, YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS" at the pitch, yet also knowing all of my fellow chronic online buddies would approve of the same pitch. like, the chronically online just heard "goblin robot suit" and "anti-hero dad-figure fat cyborg pirate" be upheld as a "hear me out" and would respond like "ah, good choice, mmhm, yes" like we were discussing wine. but like. then my friends wouldve paused and gone like "....not weird enough to be a 'hear me out' tho". like?? as if it's objectively true or a Basic Bitch take? (my chronically online brethern: it's not. lmao it just is a Basic Bitch take to our niche, it's Fucking Weird outside of us)

so it's that in-between of "would be Freak Behavior to any hypothetical 'normie', but would not be to anyone chronically online". so the 1️⃣ category would be where both "normie" and the chronically online are going "pARDON??? HUH?" to the same extreme degree. but this one, 2️⃣, is where it's a more lower-level mix. like maybe some chronically online are going "hUH??" while some are going "oh, yeah, obviously"; but for the most part, this is "normies" go "HUH?" and chronically online go "this is an objectively agreed upon take, not a 'hear me out' pitch". idk, i hope that makes sense. like. maybe some more examples would help, we already discussed two, but we can do more. the two i just did were examples of "not THE most 'obviously yeah' takes for the chronically online" because i wanted to start us in on the logic of why they would count here (at least, to me) so then these next ones can be a "ooooh, yeah, i can see what you mean now", you feel me?

bc, yeah, obligatory "yes but that's obviously objective and not a 'hear me out' pitch" to Kovu from "Lion King II", yes, Nick Wilde from "Zootopia", yes, Robin Hood fox from Disney's "Robin Hood", yes, Gil from "Finding Nemo", yes, Garrus from "Mass Effect", etc, etc, again, they were made to be a romantic lead and/or made to be cool. so, to me, liking them is very normal. and, again, i get that it only is a "yes OBVIOUSLY tho" in ✨️a chronically online✨️ way. but i think most other chronically online people would agree like "yes, weird to 'normies'; but not us" and i think both the "normies" and the More Newly Chronically Online could follow the logic since we just broke down how Green Goblin's robo-suit and alien-cyborg John Silver might be More Unusual Picks but same logic of "made to be liked in some way, ergo Liking Them Like That is not actually that weird". you feel me??

like the creators of these fictional guys would go "oh!! oh, that makes sense, yeah, okay, didnt intend that but nice!" you feel me?? like the spectrum goes from "wHAT?!! ...actually, y'know what, i see it" to "odd choice, but also?? of course". am i making sense?

like you could put your unconventionally attractive people here if they dont quite fit (or fit at all, potentially) with the next cake. like, i wouldnt be mad if the the Purple Wiggle from the original "The Wiggles" group went here, y'know?? like, yes, the Purple Wiggle breaks my "please have it be animated or a puppet or a mask or have heavy make-up, so we arent just potentially arguing about facial features of an irl human (bc that's mean)" rule technically. but thats enough of a "hUH?? i mean yeah buT HUH????" that i, for one, would forgive it and let the Purple Wiggle be on this cake. because it's not about his face or appearance: it's a "hUH??" because he is a fucking Wiggle, so that's what makes him unconventional. does that make sense?? like the "....fucking way way out of left-field, but Yeah Okay" type "unconventials" rather than "well yEAH" like Milo Thatch from "Atlantis" or Roger Dearly from "101 Dalmations" who would be on the next cake (instead of this one), for me, personally)

3️⃣: and the last one (as far as i can think of it, and this one would really be a cupcake or a one-person-serving of cake bc your goal is the other two. this one shouldn't have too many people on it, so you skimp out on this cake for sure) is like the council deciding "normal: not as weird as you think, you're not alone at all" cake. not a "you're basic" tho, but that this pick is more popular with society than the person realizes it is

first of all: this is not a "punishment cake" of "nope, doesnt count". i just vote it be the smallest cake bc it will, ideally, have the least amount of people in it compared to maybe the other two. but yeah, it should be a "no, thats such a valid take, i think it should go on the 'youre not alone' cake", y'know?? like, this cake's purpose isnt to knock someone down, its to be like "omg dude i have so many tiktok thirst edits of this character to show you after this" or "there should be so many more of this guy, this has to be objectively True That This Person Is Attractive, i think we as a society just agree via osmosis, we dont need to hear you out, we need to let you into the discussions about them, let's set up a text-channel on discord about them" type of 🌈realization🌟 okay?? bc the moment anyone is mean about someone trying to be vulnerable and silly online, im rescinding my pitch for this cake. cool? cool

this is for the people who put on Stiles Stilinski from "Teen Wolf" and just... buddy, idk if you actually read the assignment. Dylan O'Brien who plays Stiles Stilinski is an attractive man, like who needs to "hear you out" on this?? im confused? let me show you how MANY MANY MANY edits and fan-art that man has, even with his head shaved. like. im not mad you picked him, he's an attractive guy, sure, why not. i just am surprised if someone maybe teased you to the point of bullying to have thought this was a "hear me out" and not a "oh, yeah, well, of course, that much is obvious". like. that's fucked up if someone made fun of you for Dylan O'Brien (or Steve Carrell since i mentioned him before. and, really, all irl people go on this cake. hell, i wouldn't be surprised if the Purple Wiggle ended up on this cake after some council deliberation and after the surprise of "The Wiggles" name-drop had calmed down). but also, like, someone bond with the two tiktokers i saw pick Dylan O'Brien and show them fanfic of Stiles and thirst edits of his role in "Teen Wolf", preferably while the said tiktokers gets to giggle with ice-cream and a cozy blanket, bc they deserve to have known about the outpour of love their pitch has had, they do not deserve mocking or hatred for their pitches, bc they didnt know what they didnt know

but also i think kind of most fictional characters who are Main Characters + Have A Romantic Interest go here, even if theyre slightly unconventionally attractive, like i said with Milo Thatch of "Atlantis" and Roger Dearly of "101 Dalmations". maybe a different group of friends would decide otherwise, but if i was in your tiktok?? "not as weird as you think" cake for sure for Milo and Roger. like. id also put some "odd choice but yeah" that are not SUPER out of left-field here, like i saw someone put on a couple of people who are Fright Actors that have gone viral. and im like "..out of left-field for sure, but part of why they went viral is bc they are conventionally attractive 9 times out of 10", you get me?? does that make sense? like i saw someone say "the grandpa from the 'Johnny Tsunami' movies" and that's out of left-field and there's no thirst edits of him (as far as im aware), but also i would say "not as weird as you think, actually"

like. the boundaries are nebulous and group-dependent, but i just think itd be fun and itd be a cool spin that also will get some comments to shut up about what is/isnt a "hear me out" cake. bc i agree some of these "hear me out" cakes dont have enough of group 1️⃣ (for me), and are instead all 2️⃣ and 3️⃣ (for! me!!); but also sometimes people just are unaware and haven't been "let into the room" to know how popular and/or objectively acceptable their pick is, and i dont wanna shame people for that lack of awareness, that's mean. instead, get excited for them like "omg i have so much to show you!" or "we NEED to talk after this video bc hard-same but nobody else is talking about it, i feel like!!" y'know??

but, yeah, that's my compromise/pitch lmao

[okthatsgreat]

20, 22, 29, 40, 56, and 75-77 for ODIETLG specifically

Picking your brain is one of my favourite Tumblr hobbies

ITS GREAT THATS ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES BC IM A BIG FAN OF TALKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. have you noticed any patterns in your fics? words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc? UMMMM call me the forgetter the way i forget..... there are definitely words/expressions that show up a lot definitely. im sure if i looked hard enough id be able to see them GHFDJGSDFKG aaaaaannnnd as for themes i noticed ive been writing a lot on trauma and some of the uglier side effects of it ESPECIALLY when put in a situation that does not encourage healing or anything like that other than that I AM REALLY BLANKING THERE ARE DEFINITELY SO MANY MORE COMPARISONS TO BE DRAWN LMFAOOOO

22. are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc) hmmmmm i do a LOT of genfics and im not that much of a purely romantic type of guy yknow..... i dont see myself doing anything like that in the future i reckon! unless its a gift or something :). in the same vein i dont think ill be posting smut on my main ao3 either just bc i feel like itd really come out of left field ghfjkdgshdjkfgh.

29. what’s your revision or editing process like? i stare at it. hope google docs caught any spelling errors. convert it into ao3. hope ao3 caught any spelling errors. send it out. wake up the next morning and grimace so hard

40. if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see? IF ANYBODY MAKES FANART OF MY WORK I CRY IMMEDIATELY YOU HAVE NO IDEAAA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME SERIOUSLY. ohhhh there are a lot of big scenes in fics ooooo............. if youre looking for a dramatic piece of fanart then the miu+kokichi confrontation in lgowab is a good one. the sonia+akane conversation in opddmh could be cute........... like them on the floor looking up yknow. like a little comic. i can see it in my brain. and oooo a lot of interactions from that second last chapter of odietlg when the whole place is falling apart ................................

56. what’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? BWAH uhm the characterisation :) i try to keep them in character but also make them feel a little more real if that makes senseee

75. what scene in odietlg took the longest to write? what was difficult about it?  ooo its been a while hm. odietlg was during a time i had a LOTT of time on my hands so i was whipping through chapters so fast it was crazy. um. maybe the finale???? just because it was a lot longer than most chapters and i kept going back to flip a few things around and all of that :))

76. did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of odietlg?  I DONT HAVE A DISCORD CHANNEL FOR THIS ONE SO THERE ISNT A LOT OF EVIDENCCEEEEEE let me think let me think. because this story was more interactive there were a few scenes that didnt make the cut solely because it wasnt voted for!!!!! i know there were MULTIPLE executions that were avoided during that miu gonta trial. there were a few more scenes including a tsumugi conversation that got cut in favour of the tenko/himiko chat in the bunker. ummmmmm unrelated to any sort of poll im really unsure!!! odietlg had a lot less planning which means a lot of initial ideas made the final cut!! i think tenko nearly started hearing other "voices" other than angie but i decided against that just bc it was never supposed to be supernatural or anything

77. do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from odietlg story/chapter?  OOOO THERE ARE A FEW SCENES I ENJOYED WRITING i think one of my favorites has to be the final 3am encounter with shuichi and tenko. it really just felt like all of those conversations were building up to this last one and i loved writing the setting and loved writing their interaction bc it just felt like a great culmination of their character development up until that point but ESPECIALLY tenkos :)

ASK GAME!!!

[raitrolling]

anyway uhhhhh. scattered thoughts about Spanner In The Works time

the whole idea for this plot started out because when celise last met epsilo he was very close to just straight-up killing them, and while that crisis was avoided i liked the idea of celise dying and getting resurrected due to vernrot's eldritch influence so i decided to roll with that for my own plot

lucy being the culprit just made sense to me given how it is established that he does kill tourists whenever the various entities at vernrot require a troll sacrifice, and then i was thinking Hey What If That Had Consequences

... and also i had that scene where vallis figures out that lucy is drunk because he's listening to his bodily functions using his eldritch senses stuck in my head and wanted to write that. i love vallis' lowkey freak shit

that was. about the extent of of pre-planning i did before writing those five drabbles LMAO most of the stuff came to me while i was writing, or i was thinking about the next drabble while writing the one i was currently working on

lucy wasn't originally going to call upon the horrorterrors to save celise, but something about that moment of being so delirious from blood loss and regret/grief that you call out to anyone who would hear for some sort of solace was really evocative to me that i just had to include it. and it helped tie vallis into the plot for Part 4 even if he was mostly used as exposition

as an aside, i thought it was really funny how vallis talks about being disappointed that celise wants nothing to do with him, only for it to be revealed in the next drabble that they were so out of it they dont even remember him being there

celise is a frog zombie for multiple reasons 1. they are a frog troll and making them more froglike sounded fun; 2. vernrot's horrorterrors tend to warp people by giving them more aquatic qualities so amphibious bullshit made sense to me; 3. i like frogs; and 4. celise fucking hates weird zombies so this was such an ironic and mean fate to give them. id actually been debating for years if celise should have an inexplicable frog tongue mutation because i thought itd be funny if they could just. eat flies out of the air with it, but i always worried it mightve been Too Weird And Gross that i didnt go ahead with it... Until now. if anyone gets weird about it im beating you to death

i genuinely forgot that celise was a vegetarian too, so i had to pivot hard towards them having to deal with the horror of eating meat in After Pain so that ended up a lot more visceral than i initially intended. though i did have to rewrite one part because i got so into writing a contrast between celise's disgust between eating meat and how their new instincts desperately crave it and it tastes irresistible to them now that started sounding a bit vaguely erotic and i went FUCK OH NO GO BACK LMFAOOO. dungeon meshi changed me as a person

but yeah unfortunately for them their diet has completely flipped and they can only eat meat now! they can stomach animal meats fine but it doesn't sate them nearly as much as troll meat does, and for those who skipped the emeto scene the main thing worth noting is that ordinary food tastes rotten to them now. big rip

also the timeline is just vague enough that its ambiguous who left the offering at the end. was it the horrorterrors looking after their newest creation? or was it lucy trying to repent for what he had done to them? vote now on your phones

and i think i made it clear enough, but the thing that the horrorterrors took away from them was their ability to feel intense amounts of anger, which now when they get angry they start feeling really hungry instead. funny how they constantly denied their ability to feel negative emotions and anger to the point where they dissociated themself from the emotion entirely, and once they finally acknowledged it, it was taken away from them and the absence is so much worse. on the bright side, theyll be a little less insufferable to deal with now, so lucy did one thing right by killing them :)

[2-dsimp]

if the primary traits hinder our ability to obtain certain sub traits... ahaha. 😭

determination to me looks as if it would make it harder to learn stealth and intel. if i had to guess and if primary traits could make it easier to get traits determination might get us far with strength and maybe stamina? determination could mean anything but it boils down to standing your ground no matter what.

so it would maybe it could have not much backlash but not much helpfulness

kindness seems like itd be face first only, this trait looks like senpai'd be more humble n' stuff, so id guess it be harder to obtain seduction points, maybe stealth aswell??

patience is well, patience so maybe stealth points are easier to get, intel seems like a good candidate too, theres also crafting so

in my own opinion, kindness looks good in the short term because it would help us get the yandere's levels higher because your being nice

but this could backfire due to yanderes getting jealous or too attached

an example could be kaeya- i think his character bio says hes usually lonely and is something of an ayano case, so bc of our kindness he'd get more and more attached? theres also itto who sorta became obsessed after being kind to him

patience looks like a good trait, but unless we're looking to find conversations about who and who isnt compatible for poly, i dont think we should pick patience unless we're dead set on poly

which i personally think we should go for 2nd game, if the options are still the same which i doubt

if i go off the assumption that patience benefits intel, we'd probably catch a lot of attention from albedo and zhongli, (cmon i know most of you want to do the devil's tango but hey.. some of us want to survive..😰)

determination looks like our safest bet, if it doesnt benefit nor have that many drawbacks, its probably better then the other two traits.

under the assumption that the other two traits greatly affects obtaining other sub-traits, at least determination can let senpai trudge through this very odd senior year

who knows, maybe it could catch the attention of others? 👀

Oooh Mkaaay I see dem big brain moves dear player✨

Your awesome theory/vote has been received 📝

[rqs902]

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yang chaowen is really a sensitive kid... man he brings out renyu's song's feels and then brings up ylq to relate to the lyrics bc he knows his friend isnt getting as much appreciation as himself. (this makes even more sense after ylq said he had been crying before ycw went onstage and ycw was comforting him... and then after ycw came off the stage, it was time for ylq to comfort him from crying TT) Their friendship is really something. But then ycw saying he just gets ripped for getting screentime for crying all the time ouch but i dont get the feeling that hes doing it for attention but maybe im becoming partly biased towards chaowen :) 

Lol the fact that they focus so much on xzx and how hes favored by gjm but feels like it's unfair to be treated uncomfortably by other trainees as a result... all i can say is, what do u expect, of course the other kids will be salty, their lives are on the line and theyre getting nothing close to the attention you are, so unfortunately u cant win everything :(

Lol I see why everyone on twitter is annoyed at gjm... Jackson is literally trying to say something meaningful and mentor-like to su er and gjm literally interrupts with his own opinion.... jackson is like unable to finish his thought. and then when Cheng xiao is actually trying to give ma haowen advice, gjm just goes WELL I DISAGREE, THIS IS RENYU'S FAULT and everyone's like wtffffff???? And then he starts saying people can help Xinhai with his terrible dance (ouch) but renyu didnt help haowen sing and Huang enyu MY CHILD just goes: but dancing and singing are different....... and I'm just smh.... gjm really shouldnt act like he knows everything when hes the only mentor with zero actual relevant experience :( Poor renyu literally looks like hes about to burst into tears, ma haowen looks so sorry and appalled renyu's getting yelled at and none of the other mentors seem to agree with gjm lol 

lets appreciate renyu’s song, its really good!!! 

Lol this whole mentor segment is a mess but man chaowen and renyu won a lotta votesss ayyy

I think xue en seeing hwh as a pro rapper shows him humbling himself, since hes technically a more seasoned and popular idol performer

Cheng xiao fangirling over xue en I mean SAME hahahahahahaha awwwwww yzx being soooo genuinely happy for xue en is the cutest!!! Aw cto friendship and xue en crying :’) actually one thing ive noticed i feel like yzx seems like a genuinely kind and cheerful friend, maybe people are bashing him bc he pushed off some leaderly responsibilities to lin mo in the last round but maybe hes just not someone to take on a strict leader role (looks at aj from afo...) and realized that since lin mo has such experience and is really good at it, it makes sense to respect his experience and skill and let him take on that role. of course its unfortunate that means lin mo worked extra for less recognition, but i think it seems like yzx really respected and admired him so im hopeful what happened wasnt due to mean intentions 

watching chen junhao feeling lost oh man :/ maybe he hadnt fully prepared himself for the idol life when first coming on this show. its unfortunate reality that in this kind of idol survival show, the focus is more on stage presence and face and performance, rather than the music itself. Hopefully he really feels that hes found a path forward through this performance. This is a really real way to present him but I'm sad theres not as much focus on li chenxu when this is hissss song

Man both the self composed songs are really good!! Mann them making this song a dance song is really hard to watch for li chenxu bc its makes it hard for him to shine at his own song which is sad :( also lzx's rap is questionable lol but cjh's vocal part in the middle part is so emotional, I hope he felt like he was able to express himself fully there

Lol does gjm not realize they didnt have a choice to not dance. Lollllll cheng xiao literally said they had too much to do and tried very hard but he didnt listen.

Aww jackson teaching them about team work :') o gosh I have PTSD about jin fan getting classified as a vocal now after uuu..... also not surprised the entire segment was about sxl and even the judging portion lol....

Oof Jin fan's voiceeee I love

Man why does Jin fan always get stuck in not dance songs ><

more appreciation for xu zhaohao vocals pls!!! imo sxl has a poor attitude :/ he doesnt perform calmly under pressure and isnt doing well at making a good atmosphere for practice

LOL why do i feel like lin mo is always saying "song" things hahahah hes really a kid

but mannn yan an just walking into the elevator is so oof

Aw duan xuyu is too nice... but I guess this is the leader in him coming out

Aw yan an immediately encouraging xikan when he lost the center to him

Lolll xikans little “heheh” when he won 

Mannnn ngl even tho yan an leaves the show, I kinda wish he had a bigger role in this perf bc it's literally like his jam.... chinese style influenced dance.... I wish he had at least 1 memorable dance move, like I feel like Luo Joe already had one in the last perf and he has one again here (and hes very talented and he deserves recognition!) but yan an has yet to really show anything and im scared hes gonna just disappear soon :/

They all did so well tho!!! Truly a group of dancers. Really made me want to rewatch the whole thing immediately. altho the beginning I cant unsee the lin mo meme LOL 

and xikan did really well!! His stage presence is real. And hes put effort into his facial expressions

Luo Joe being cute is iconic

Aw yan an cheering on lin mo when revealing his votes!!

Aw I'm surprised 100 ways kids didnt get more votes.... lol ngl i feel like this show is just randomly adding vote bonuses in for random reasons not prespecified for kids they like.... cough gjm yet again

but oo the next ep looks fun hahahha im excited for a happier ep thats not as stressful.

Ycw keeping it real 2020: "im not good at controlling emotions.... i hope if you want to cry or laugh do it loudly, dont care about what other people think"

ok so maybe im liking more new kids than i expected, but i think thats a good thing that the show is making them likable and some kids are able to stand out! honestly i realized I kinda can see why they eliminated so many to begin with. It's sad but also kinda nice tbh (ouch, i know) bc if they really got rid of the ones who have less skill, it makes it easier for the others who dont have to teach from zero (cough lin mo) And then those with skill get to have at least 3(?) stages, unlike qcyn where jin fan got eliminated after only doing 1 silly stage lol The skill level of the stages is also raised, like there's multiple groups of almost all people who are well qualified. im sure the kids are happy that they get to do more stages, im sure that means a lot to them. 

At least on snzm they attempt to give most trainees a positive light and give screentime to more than just the top 10 trainees. and they allow someee time for vocals, dancers and rappers to get appreciation (even tho dancers are still dominating lol)

but yea honestly I disliked the judging on pdc2019 too tho so at least the judges here can be supportive... at times. it is SUPER biased and gjm is very vocal despite his lack of knowledge tho lol 

it's so bad bc I feel like my standards for shows are so low at this point. my standards get lowered with every show I watch. It's like I guess the snzm songs are okay bc I hated the ones on afo more so at least the stages aren't thattt bad lol At least the rules/general setup aren't as terrible as they were on afo..... at least the camera time isnt as biased as it was on qcyn.... sigh the show isnt doing great, and itd be best if the show would help the tygers get more popular, but I guess its prob better than just doing nothing at star master lol. 

qcyn was just painful to watch from "spirit of the knight" onward bc momo literally was buried, mistreated, disrespected and taken advantage of. at least on snzm he gets some screentime and positive recognition.....

tbh i like snzm, maybe thats an unpopular opinion, but at least there have been some really great stages, where the kids really get to shine. at least i can confidently say that bc of snzm, i have met some new kids who i will be sure to follow for new music moving forward :) 

[tragictm]

The Future of This Blog

I've been rping on tumblr since around 2012, diving into the indie world in 2014 with my beth blog. It was a fun hobby for a long time, but by 2015 it had become more like a chore. Soon enough I made new blogs, moved every month or two and hoped like hell itd have that spark back. There were moments, people, that made my time here truly amazing. I'll talk about them later. For now, I have to look to myself and to the future.

Which brings me here. While I love my muses and I genuinely adore writing them, something on this blog isnt right. Not just this blog, but all of them. I'm burnt out on this site, its multiple issues not helping, and my constant need for external validation is only making this worse. You've all noticed it, begging for poll responses, asking if a character should be added and making the choice based only in how many votes each option gets. Everything on this site is governed by notes, by reactions, by the thought that what I post here is important or interesting to people. That's not why I was here, it's not why I wanted to write, and as long as it's there i dont know that i can continue to be here.

As 2019 draws near I have to make choices to better my life. In 2019 I'm giving up work to study and follow my dream, I'm giving up my home that I've lived in for my whole life to have a shot in a completely different city, a completely different world. And with that, I'm giving up this.

Writing is so important to me, I've grown as a person so much from doing this, I've made friends who mean the world to me, but this has also been so toxic. My deep and constant fear of duplicates - and yes that includes the ones I follow. My desire to be the best version of my muse, preferably the only version of my muse. I crave attention, crave the glory that I've somehow managed to believe comes from the number of people who follow me. It's stupid. Its toxic. It's made me act like a person I dont want to be.

I dont know when I'll come back. Ideally, I want to be more emotionally and mentally sound before coming here. I want to be less busy. I want to be able to have fun rather than cry because I cant decide what to do with a fucking tumblr blog.

I want to mention some people, talk about what they mean to me and how theyve shaped my experience. That's below the cut. But first: means of contact. I dont want to lose friends, but I cant promise tumblr will be a place I go ever again. For now I'll be on my personal @distortedrebel and probably on @greene-rph but come 2019 theres a chance I wont even be on those blogs. So, heres where to find me:

Facebook, snapchat, etc. are available if you message me, I'd message my personal or one of those accounts though because I wont be logged on to here.

@selfsaving - izzy, you alone have given me so much muse and such a strong feeling of being somewhere I belong. You've been amazing to me, from liking starter calls and interacting with a muse no one interacted with to inviting me to discord servers and being excited to write with me. I genuinely can't describe how great you've been to me.

@mrbisected - kate you've been amazing. You've followed me through so many blogs, even when I never knew who Kenny was. Honestly, I kind of dreaded watching Texas chainsaw at first. I really thought I'd hate it, especially for the first half hour or so. After watching I didnt care that much for Kenny, but the way you cared for him and the way you crafted him into a real person really inspired me and made me fall in love. I fell for nikki because she was hot, but with your help she became someone real and I never imagined giving up on her because of how it had felt having a muse I cared about so much.

@withumans - kacie idk if ur on this blog or using this alias but hey, you're amazing. I know we haven't necessarily been the closest, but you've been a really good friend. You've been through a lot and I know you relate to the need for validation here. You're still young, you're going to grow and change over the next few years more than you could ever believe. I love you, I believe in you, I know you'll get through this. I'm sorry I wasnt super invested in some of your muses, you very clearly love rain more than anything and I really struggled to interact with her, not because of who she is but because of how emily kinney was her fc originally. I know its dumb and petty and I hate that it continued into when shed stopped being the main fc. Rain is a brilliant oc, I genuinely love her and her story. Shes developed, she clearly means the world to you. Tumblr, and quite frankly everywhere else, doesnt care about ocs. They dont care about multis. That puts the two of us in a tricky position. Dont give up on rain, dont give up on ocs. Dont give up on things you're passionate about. You have it in you to do incredible things.

@valorfated - ellie weve talked less lately and I want to apologize for that. Weve had issues in the past, the most obvious being the way I acted with the rph in 2017(?). Theres an age gap between us and clearly a maturity gap there too. Looking back on the way I acted and responded and avoided responsibility is clear. I am sorry for that, I know you were going through rough times and it was rude of me to try to make things go my way simply because you werent there to stop me. Its something I've been working on and I'd like to think I've grown as a person since then. I do want to tell you that you're an amazing writer, and I really hope things are going better for you. Writing beth and Maggie was a really great experience, I loved the dynamic because I've never had much of a bond with my own sister. You helped me realize how sisterly bonds should be and because of that I've started to work towards mending my relationship with my sister and its changing my life. Thank you, good luck with everything..

@gavinsaleks - I saved you for last because this might get long. I'm gonna avoid the literal thousand word letter I usually give you on your birthdays because wow I write a lot, but you already know by now that you've changed my life. The ocs we made meant the world to me and really taught me about relationships and perspectives and what's right and wrong in relationships. You, though, you taught me more. You gave me the courage to come out, you gave me the strength to stay alive in times where I felt like that was impossible, you gave me happiness that i never thought possible. I watched you grow up and you watched me mature and everything changed after meeting you. I never wouldve lasted on this site without you, or in real life really. You're an incredible girl and I really hope that I gave you the same happiness you gave me because you deserve it all and so much more.

[bad-angela]

(Warning this post is, what the kids say, long. Ridiculously, exceedingly, unusually so. While negatively thought of. Describing it as an absolutely eye rolling'ly, ill advised, exponentially lengthy @$$ rendition of the uplifting advice as "you do you". That's just the Cliff Notes. Prepare mentally and physically, and make sure all children stay in the next room, as your dedication to reading such things might vary, and we dont want another incident like last years "completely

natural and completely self propelled flying book who can only fly once,

one and only flight has interesting" beaned a kid. Little Sommer is still trying to make both eyes blink at the same time... not to mention her being forced to continually explain what's up with the spelling of her name. Remember the bylaws we voted on? Every parent trying to be all cute'zy with the baby names must, since their children have to, remain in solitary confinement while their kid ponders every day if they forgive them yet or not. The hardest Judge around does not even compare to what happens when you name your kid Optimal Bathtub Extinct Water Across Enemy Combatants Smith. It took me forever to get enough courage to tackle it. Man its a freaking novel @$s long. Sorry (not sorry) I just love to write... Writing

I, after a lengthy and excessive vetting, calligraphy, water bording, cross country running, movie trivia, plastic surgery. Along with voice impersonations, Kardashian fact checker, one armed cooking, scientific patient achieving (magnetic glitter... you'll thank me later.), lava lamp repair. As well as a life afferming, absolutely wonderful

violence interaction master while helping people as the best Public Defender who ever lived job, kitting, water color savant. As well ass obtaining a license to A)drive a "big rig", B)organ donation C)braid hair D)home renovation e)concealed carry. Bringing us to, ofcourse, F) license to ki... I mean, to shave bears in the summer time... ( OMG comment replying a$$h01e, its like you wearing a fur coat in summer! In fact, where the hell did you get that and why are you wearing it! Fur is murder you uncultured inadequate swine?! Watch your back cuz weve got lots of red paint and to much time on our hands you fur wearing bag of human excrement... juuust waaaaait *evil laugh*... )

Right, I'm sorry, so where were we? Oh yes!; qualifications of such things I am providing in a effort to make you realize you already picked me as a roommate that you dont want and will say no to untill you understand that I, and my home made time machine, have already been through everything till you told me right then n there I'd be a great roommate, Mr. Cellophane'ing it the whole time, 24/7/365 (could a been my name, mr. Cellophane, cuz you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there..."... theater kid, had to). Of course I can't exactly just show you my time machine... sorry. We so much as touch one little innocent thing and the whole entire universe explodes. Well, were safe for now... The Union of World Wide Substitute Teachers Association Under Current Policing of US and/or China's rehabilitation while sneaking Little Fat Head candy till his health is so bad that all we have to do is sneakily fly in n pull the Round One's plug, only having to wait for the insesent beeping to turn into one long one. The universal sign of "ooo dear, he dead". So now we just have to implement everything in the Green New Deal, make AOC queen while a whispering game of telephone informs everyone involved the actual agenda. Getting close enough to pop one off as they say. He11, I'd say itd be better if we leave just two brain cells up in there; telling her to publicly read them while in government meetings and public displays till everyone is informed. That AOC, the women in charge of the now Marxist Socialism country of AOC'ingtonastan, insisted on, since she approves of our new lesson plans... a National Practicing Day every MonsAOCday (Monday to you) mandatory (while our updated lesson plans only to her was a beat up old copy of Green Eggs And Ham they found behind some wall insulation. During the latest round of telephone, half of us were ready for making a Scottish Game Hen

(Side note; right now, since our country is so f&%ked and, after multiple after multiple background checks, financial reports, employment records, mental issues, and acnollageing the new growing population... it is even more important for them to perpetualy force feed us into woke'ness as much as humanly possible. As not to see our overlords as screaming, giant, completely adversarial special needs toddlers. That they actually feel threatened by red hats (though they can't even read them. Therefore we have seasonal bonfires, secretly throwing in every single red hat in, no matter what they say. Ever since they had to perpetually close all schools, literally afraid of every new manifestation of the original Covid strain. The ability to read are those who learned before 2020. Try n teach the others and that's 60 days in solitary confinement... doubling the punishment while a member of our "ANTIFA police force" (ah, love the smell of ironically ironic irony in the morning.) says you're free to go. Forget about a trial, just supply the little scum suckers everything they what intill their tired of you so you're free to go. I had to once. The day I tried to secretly teach scientific theories to whatever kid I could get my hands on; as promising as two year olds seem, it wasnt a good look. Afterwards I refused to peddle the new segregation rules. My whole family, surprisingly and out of no where, was immediately blown up by an attack grenade I mean "a meteor from space" that seemed to have an

unfortunate trajectory. Having to explain to everyone afterwards what the word "trajectory" was and what it looked like. Unnaturally gullible, they believe when I suddenly had a suprise attack of being blind, deaf and dum... ness. We shall see how worth it our sacrifice actually was. Right, anyway, so... hi new roomy!

G ho if

I don’t want to get a job that’s capitalistically pleasing or get a boyfriend or even date or have the opinions my friends expect me to have. I want a historical home in Scotland to renovate and decorate, to spend my days in, writing books and being well and truly alone.

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 7 - “my dreams are never wrong - Zoe

Stephen

Odd round, Merge, yay, then immunity, double yay. But everyone being really quiet and not a lot of drama? Makes me wonder if the drama is happening away from me, and about me :/ Joseph seems to be the vote, and im hoping that its the right move, i just worry that john and zoe are in an alliance with people from the other og tribe. Just a feeling.

Maynor

So the target tonight is going to be Sierra. But Sierra thinks that the target is Joseph. It kinda sucks but I dont see Sierra being a good ally for me because a little paranoid. Like i heard they told Joseph they were the target. Who tells the “target” they are the target? There are many alliances that i may not be in but I love that Timmy is in them cuz he tells me everything and i tell him whats happening on my side. No one really knows we are actually working together. Like Dylan forgot Timmy was in Kalokairi 😂😂 only person who would be a huge dangerous threat is Stephen because he knows of me and Timmy playing together in Kuwait. Right now the first two targets are Sierra and Stephen. Stephen saved himself by winning immunity. Congrats to him. I feel like he could be a good number but at the same time he’s a play that “goes with majority cuz doesnt want to vote in minority” so he wouldnt want to make a risky game move when it has to be done. I need people who are willing to.

Dylan C

andjskdbakdb this is late af because I’ve been at a family event all day but anyway. Uhhh short version is that there’s the Sierra vote, with Joseph as the decoy that got kinda messy but I think it’ll succeed in the end? Every time I messaged someone outside Mental Gymnastics I just outright lied and played dumb, and acted like no one had told me anything about that vote. Idk how many people believed that, and if it was actually useful but that’s what I did. 

Raffy

I am glad that Sierra left and that the vote went smoothly. Apparently, Sierra was really pissing John off at the latter half of the round. They were calling John and Zoe suspicious and shady which is true, but they don't need to know that. Not only that, but Sierra was giving me fake info and tempting me into saying a name the whole day. I was giving them basically zip and keeping my mouth close. They were definitely trying to rat me out. So, I am glad that they are gone. Finally, Joseph was apparently paranoid till the end. So, I need to keep an eye on him.

Stephen

Yeah johns a snake :/ basically he didnt get to vote out sierra when cormac went, and now he flipped at merge, basically handing the other tribe majority. Now, I’m not a tribe-loyal maniac, but i must say itd be kinda dumb for him to flip without a solid alliance already established. So either johns an idiot as well as a snake, or hes always been a snake, but there are snakes on the other tribe too :/

Raffy

I decided to pair up with Timmy because I feel like we could work well together in this challenge. I am concerned with Stephen and Joseph, however. I definitely do not want them to win, at all. It would boost their egos, plus if Stephen wins then he'll dodge the vote again. Also, I don't want Zoe/John to win because they would be the most likely to get idoled out instead of me if Stephen uses one. So, there's that. Here's to hoping I win this challenge. Sierra dropping does not concern me in the slightest. That's just another person who I don't have to worry about coming back into this game.

Dylan C

On call with Mental Gymnastics. ideally if things went our way, out next boot order would be Stephen, Joseph, Ellie, and then Keith/Maynor (no one really specified. probably Maynor first). Assuming people don't get immunity at inconvenient times lmao. Also, it's gonna be fun when we get someone back from EoE. It'll probably be Jack, who will probably have grudges against old Melrakki so us old Ulfur can manipulate that hatred to our advantage (wink wink, nudge nudge). and all of this is assuming that this alliance actually holds solid through the rounds. Will it? And then we have to vote each other out? Or will we turn on each other? All of this is subject to change round by round as in any game.

Raffy

I can imagine that Stephen is going to stay pissed at Zoe and John since they blindsided him pretty hard. Hopefully, that'll keep me safe for a few rounds since they will serve as meat shields.

Maynor

It’s a little wild how im able to make people believe that I’ll do whatever they say. Zoe told Timmy, “I have Maynor. He’ll do whatever i tell him.” Im like so you think. Hopefully Im able to get people to get rid of Zoe soon. This is why I want to win immunity so i can save Stephen because if we lose, he’ll be the target and I need him to stay in because only one i know that would go after zoe and john. 

Raffy

Yesterday, I received some interesting information from Joseph. He sees John and Zoe as a power couple, and he is thinking about voting against them in this round if they do not win immunity. To me, this is a good sign as this can be used for whenever I decide to turn against them. I also see them as a power couple that is dominating the game currently. I guarantee that if we did touchy subjects, one of them would receive Most Likely to Win. However, I do not want to make that move right now. I am sitting in a comfortable majority, and, if I turn my back on it, I belong to no side, becoming a pariah. Which mean, if no one wants to stir the pot, I would be the easy vote. I know that they have Keith and Maynor. I know that I could convince people on Ulfur to vote with me, but it needs to be at the right time. Especially if EoE is still in effect. The only person I've told this to is Timmy, and, hopefully, that information stays sealed. I don't want John to freak out on Joseph and a) create a bigger target for himself and b) shift the target from Stephen who I do not talk to.

John

today has been damage control time. stephen got burned by me especially on that sierra vote, and i need for him to feel secure with me moving forward. granted, he is a threat, and probably will be targeted if he loses immunity, but hopefully me going to him before the challenge is over is more believable than had i approached him after the challenge.

Maynor

Ill start by saying ❤️ Jay. So i finally finished the idol hunt and in the last puzzle i saw Dylan’s name cuz they were signed into their account. So im like 👀👀 dylan might have found something. So need to be careful there. And the challenge i hope stephen’s poem will get us the win. 😊 i really dont want him to go. My roommate says Hi.

Stephen

Me, looking at Maynor doing very little for this challenge >:( Google translate: Great Lovers I’d never thought I’d say this but I think Google Translate is shipping Me and Maynor. We’re Google Translate’s OTP

Raffy

John claims that he is doing damage control with Stephen. His plan sounds legit, but I doubt it would mean anything. Giving people a false sense of security makes them bitter towards you in the end. Ellie says that Joseph still believes I voted for him which sucks, but I wouldn't trust Joseph with a baby doll let alone my game. So, I guess this works out in the end. I am affirmed that Ellie is working with me because she was going on about how no one realizes that we are working together. 

Joseph Collins

Me and Kieth were on this metaphorical sit-out bench which could mean trouble for us. People might think I’m comfortable which is when people go home. Womp womp

Stephen

So this game has gone weirdly for me. I dont tend to function well in large groups, so the one world twist did not benefit me much. For others, it definitely worked, and I would be absolutely stunned if John Zoe Raffy and maybe Timmy did not have an alliance that had been around for a while. They’re just too confident and votes have seemed too spontaneous to not be planned by a strong alliance. So what do I do? I try and lay low, not force a new alliance or search for tea to be spilled, i sit and keep chatting and wait for someone to spill the tea on their own terms and try and pull my vote. Its risky, because if my name comes up I have no protection, and its also not a play im used to. But, if i dont try something new its unlikely ill ever win a season right?

Raffy

I'm so happy I won this immunity. It's the greatest feeling in the world to know that all my hard work paid off. This means that I do not have to concern myself too much about this vote, especially considering that we are splitting the vote 5-3 on Stephen and Joseph, respectively. Then, it does not matter who they vote for or if they have an idol. I think this is a great plan because I do not trust Stephen and I definitely do not trust Joseph. Our plan is this: Votes on Stephen: John, Me, Timmy, Ellie, Maynor Votes on Joseph: Zoe, Dylan, Keith Even if Maynor is not 100%, I know that Ellie and Keith will be. This means that the split vote will work no matter what with either Stephen or Joseph going. My job is to tell Ellie about the vote and get her on board. I think I can manage that. Zoe is talking to Keith, but I am also in his ear to make sure things go smoothly. I do not believe that he knows that Zoe and I are working together. I feel like a lot of people in this game think that I am someone who is in no alliances and just lost for the most part. That's wrong. I'm the person who's going to sneak their way to the end by playing dumb. In that way, people will underestimate me.

Joseph Collins

People want to blindside Stephen as if they power duo of John and Zoe doesn’t exist. We’ll see. I’m gathering my troops

Raffy

Ellie confirmed with me that she is voting for Stephen which is good. I talked with Keith, Maynor, and Joseph throughout the day. Keith knows about the split vote which I thought was weird because I thought we weren't telling anyone outside our alliance, but that is fine. I just played dumb because I do not want anyone knowing that I am working with Zoe or John at the moment. Maynor and I talked about the vote a little bit. I was just trying to confirm what Zoe and John told me about him wanting to vote Joseph. What I found is that this was true for the most part. I'm playing up the part of the person that's unsure and out of the loop to him. He told me Zoe mentioned both Stephen and Joseph. Honestly, I wish EoE would just be over soon because convincing both Keith and Maynor may be harder than I thought considering that Zoe has them wrapped around her finger. I am attempting to tell Joseph that Stephen threw out his name which is true. I'm hoping that Joseph will take the bait and vote out Stephen instead of his little plan to vote out Zoe/John. 

Timmy

A whole lot has been happening this round. So Raffy’s plan is to get Stephen to go and then split the votes between him and Joseph. Maynor wanted Zoe or John gone or to get rid of Joseph instead which is what it looks like it’s coming to. Sometimes I hate being in the Mental Gymnastics alliance because I think I’m on the bottom, so bc I’m in it I’ll be seen as a goat in the end since I’ve been quiet. My org mistake is being a crackhead too early but someone is still coming back so idk what might happen. If Dylan R participates, he has a good chance at coming back since he’s good at challenges. Who knows what will happen after tribal but I expect no matter what that things will be wild.

Maynor

I have become a crackhead. This tribal is going to be an interesting one. If this vote goes according to plan then. 👀 EllieApparently Zoe wants and Stephen-Joseph split with more on stephen. Guess who’s gonna be on Joseph damage control again!

John

this vote could go so wrong hahahahaha. i really wish it was joseph that was the target instead of stephen. but, i had to do it for the alliance. too early to go rogue.

Dylan C

God I'm so bad at confessing in this game. Oh well. My alliance is coming up with a plan to vote Stephen, but is splitting votes onto Joseph in case of an idol play. I don't actually know what is going on too much because I've only been skimming the messages and haven't been talking strategy with other tribe mates as much as I should have. But also? I've been out here living my life and hanging out with friends so it's worth it.

Dylan C

expect a video confessional some time soon when I actually get the chance to film and upload it

Maynor

It looks like I might be out for the count. Joseph isnt responding to me but he’s online. He is also being very shady. Feel like he leaked stuff and it is going to be me tonight. Might just be paranoid but everytime i feel like this i get voted out and it has happened everytime. Ill be sad if i am voted out. I tried so hard but o well. Im still hoping plan works out and everything would be okay but josephs behavior isnt helping anything. Just in case. One last ❤️ For Jay.

Timmy

We gettin out Zoe tonight! It's lit peeps. Honestly I'm definitely screwing myself over with this, but that's the fun of survivor....gotta take shots and regret taking them rather than regret not taking them to know what happens. Truly it's the crackhead in me. All credit goes to Maynor on this one because he really supplied the crack today to make a move and i couldn't be prouder of him. With that information and everything set, I made the alliance to make things solid and so I can get further along in the idol hunt :)

Timmy

I FOUND AN IDOL!!! AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO SLIDE PUZZLES!!! I feel so much more comfortable with my cracked energy now because of this. I feel a sense of safety, although that could also be because I'm immune tonight due to the challenge. So yay! But this secures my safety for if I come in last for a challenge again.

Maynor

It might be happening. Im crossing my fingers. Im scared. 😳

John

raffy scares me. yeah i’m in an alliance with him but he’s really showing he has mental prowess in this game. and that’s dangerous.

Zoe

I'm feeling so paranoid. I had a dream last night that Raffy orchestrated a blindside against me, and everyone on the tribe was on board with it. He must have triggered some strange internal awareness in me because I don't trust him at all anymore-- and my dreams are never wrong.

[carace06]

A lot of questions to fill up my ask box

1: Full name CHA

2: Zodiac sign: Gemini

3: 3 Fears: Snakes, deeeeeep ocean, pain of death

4: 3 things I love, my dog(dogs) family, food

5: 4 turns on: knee or thigh highs, lace, 

6: 4 turns off: hygiene, super needy, insane lol, and something else.

7: My best friend: I dont really know, i’ll say the guy ive known for the longest time that I still know, Adam.

8: Sexual orientation: vagina

9: My best first date: Dont remember

10: How tall am I: 5′4-5

11: What do I miss: Gordo

12: What time were I born: like 9:08 am

13: Favourite color: some kinds of green and blue

14: Do I have a crush: sure!

15: Favourite quote: Buy the ticket, take the ride.

16: Favourite place, Currently, Costa Rica, or Paris

17: Favourite food: Im a cook, how long do you have?

18: Do I use sarcasm: Never, dumb shit.

19: What am I listening to right now: Wilco, Impossible Germany

20: First thing I notice in new person: height

21: Shoe size: like 8

22: Eye color: brown

23: Hair color :brown/ dark

24: Favourite style of clothing: whatever im feeling 

25: Ever done a prank call? Used to

26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now?Red Flannel

27: Meaning behind my URL: I have a flag in my room, and some other stuff.

28: Favourite movie: Fear and loathing, big lebowski, Snatch, into the wild, plentyyy of others

29: Favourite song: dont even ask

30: Favourite band: dont even

31: How I feel right now: very buzzed,and a hurricane is coming!

32: Someone I love: Wrigley, and family

33: My current relationship status: technically single

34: My relationship with my parents: great

35: Favourite holiday: halloween or christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: tattoo on back. wanna get some added

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: look up

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: neighbor

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: nope

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? yep!

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? No!

42: When did I last hold hands? dont know

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on what im Getting ready for..... could take 2 min.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? every day

45: Where am I right now? couch in austin texas

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? myself

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? usually loud, again depends

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? no

49: Am I excited for anything? Football season, and the boxing fight haha

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? usually

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Its part of my job

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? have fun

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? probably 

55: What is something I disliked about today?working

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Keith Richards?, though ive heard hes a dick.... Jeff tweedy maybe. 

57: What do I think about most? Life

58: What’s my strangest talent? Drumming?

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Snakes

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? both

61: What was the last lie I told? i was late to work

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?both yes

64: Do I believe in magic? to an extent

65: Do I believe in luck? sure

66: What's the weather like right now?Hurricane Harvey bitch

67: What was the last book I've read? Im Reading “Meet me in the Bathroom”

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? yep. Avocado, Boodah.

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? Getting Stabbed in the back

71: Do I spend money or save it? both  try to save more

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? nope fuck your tongue

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? no

74: Favourite animal? Dog, Cub bear, Panda, 

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM working and drinking

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Natas

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Never gonna give you up

78: How can you win my heart? be someone with the initials AS

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? .......

80: What is my favorite word? Rigmarole

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: meh

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: Be Nice to everybody God Damnit!

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? No

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Well youre probably pooping some cool color.... but eh, itd be dope to fly and see people and places.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Do you like quizzes

86: What is my current desktop picture?Amber Sherman

87: Had sex? yes

88: Bought condoms?yes

89: Gotten pregnant?close

90: Failed a class?yes

91: Kissed a boy?yes

92: Kissed a girl?yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes

94: Had job? plenty

95: Left the house without my wallet? Alot

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Tried not to

97: Had sex in public? “define public” (AS) lame answer. yes, at least somewhat, not in front of people tho. 

98: Played on a sports team?yes

99: Smoked weed? plenty

100: Did drugs? yes

101: Smoked cigarettes? dont, but yes

102: Drank alcohol? plenty, and currently

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? nope

104: Been overweight? nah

105: Been underweight? dont think

106: Been to a wedding? yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? maybe

109: Been outside my home country? yes

110: Gotten my heart broken? yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? yes

112: Broken a bone? possibly 

113: Cut myself? just once to see

114: Been to prom? nope!

115: Been in airplane? many

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? they wouldnt fit here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? nah

119: Learned another language? tried

120: Wore make up? yea

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? yes

122: Had oral sex? yes

123: Dyed my hair? yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? yes, stabbed

126: Had a surgery? yes

127: Met someone famous? yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? yep

129: Peed outside? Austin Pee Party

130: Been fishing? yes

131: Helped with charity? yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? yes

133: Broken a mirror? yes

134: What do I want for birthday? Have fun

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? who knows

136: Was I named after anyone? Yes family history

137: Do I like my handwriting? meh not always

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? something teenage mutant ninja turtle

139: Favourite Tv Show? wayyyyy too many  ill say Breaking bad

140: Where do I want to live when older? who knows, maybe Austin, if it stops changing.

141: Play any musical instrument? drums, percussion

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i was stabbed in the back, god damn dude

143: Favourite pizza toping? pep, or canadian bacon

144: Am I afraid of the dark? nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? nah though depends 

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: plenty

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? of course

148: What I'm really bad at: answering questions

149: What my greatest achievments are: living

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: this question

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery: I’d have plans

152: What do I like about myself: hard working.

153: My closest Tumblr friend: @falling-stars8675

154: Something I fantasise about: @falling-stars8675

155: Any question you'd like: @falling-stars8675

There you go @falling-stars8675

let me know what ya think!

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #10: “ I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it.” - Jess

Dear Alyssa,

For someone who claims to have a HUGE interest in Astrology.... you seem to have forgotten the fact that I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it. You declared war and that's on YOU.

i hate this “we only start talking an hour before tribal” nonsense that this merge tribe has going on. like pls get your lives together sooner. i don’t even message ppl anymore bc we just do the “yaaa i haven’t heard anything” “me either” back and forth

i feel pretty hopeless in the game i’m ngl, fully think we should just wrap it up now and give zach the win

alyssa is an emotional and illogical player who came into the merge with the goal of miguel and luke being voted out for voting against her premerge. she didn’t think of the long term, only revenge. it’s embarrassing.

i don’t rly have an endgame path. or anything anymore. i miss luke and stephen.

So, yesterday was a bit of blindside for me. Not even really because Luke left, I woke up that morning willing to vote him out myself, but because I was unable to get Karth, Tim, or Alyssa on my side. I don't think any of them are truly "against me" at this point but it's a little worrying that Luke left over Jake, who I still don't really have a strategic relationship with.

Alyssa confronted me last night saying that other people had gone to her and said that I was planning to target her once Jake was gone. This isn't exactly true, but it has enough basis in reality since I have talked in the "4-elements" alliance about how we should target Jake before going after Alyssa. I'm not sure who went to her with this idea, nor do I know if she was even approached with it in the first place. Alyssa has deceived me for 2 votes now. First, she outright lied to me about voting Zach out at F10 (I still don't technically have confirmation of this, but it makes sense that she'd take out Luke/Miguel as soon as possible). More evidence supporting that she lied is that the former Kato2.0 side decided to vote Luke out next, which would be odd if he was the one to flip to their side at the first merge vote.

The second thing she lied about was being on the fence at this last tribal council.  After Luke was gone she told Jess that we "should've known she didn't want Jake out" despite her never saying that to us. It's clear that Alyssa had planned to vote Luke out as soon as she knew this would be a 5-4 vote. But she lied to me about that and wasted my time up until the very last minute.

Basically, what I'm saying is... it's getting exhausting to try and work with her strategically. It's not like Ally/Jess/Karth, who I feel I can talk frankly and honestly with. I want her and Jake gone. Jake hasn't really "wronged" me in anyway, but I can tell him and Alyssa have to at least be a little close so the jury can have both of them. Honestly, I kinda want them both gone more than Zach at this point. I'm doing my best to win this upcoming immunity challenge so people stop going behind my back, but if Zach were to win.. well... I certainly have a few alternatives in mind.

I am feeling a bit stuck in this game. With Zach in the game I feel my game is pretty restricted and I would feel too bad to backstab him. I already felt bad for voting Luke. I just dont know what to do here.

i have no idea what’s happening

zach and karth have reached out to me about potentially trying to reconcile and ofc i’m open to that

i’m kinda worried they’re voting jess out and i hope not bc i love her

i wish i had any kind of idea what i was doing

i wish luke didn’t get voted out

i wish this idol search made sense

i wish i was a little bit taller i wish i was a baller

So apparently Zach and Jake are throwing around Stephen's name with my name as an alternative. I'm not surprised at all at this rate. I figured this would happen as soon as I took my strike at both Zach and Jake.

The only possible saving grace from this all is that both Alyssa and Tim let me know about it. This kind of gives me a glimmer of hope that both of them aren't willing to at least vote me out at this stage in the game. If they'd did.. they'll look like idiots because I'm playing such a horrible game. I have yet to make a big move or win an immunity, I don't have any solid alliances aside from "The Last Hope" which honestly just a circumstantial alliance and most likely we die soon. Taking me at this point is ridiculous because I'm literally the perfect person to sit final 3 with right now.

My game plan at least now is.. I want either Zach or Jake to go. If I can work the angle of Jake or Zach trying to get me out as a way to sway people who think I'm their best friend in this game... yeet. If not I am dead and I will write my own eulogy....

If I get voted out because I lost immunity by 1 point.. I WILL FUCKING RIOT.

Ok so sorry for the lack of confessionals going on I have a lot (of good things) happening in my life atm. Anyways, I got sent to the basement which sux and now the vote is super stressful!!! I'm pretty much pulling a lot of strings within the tribe atm and trying to balance it all! I have Zach and Jake in my pocket completely!! Jake and Alyssa are like on my coat tail and Jess/Stephen/and Ally are in their grave ready to be destroyed lmaoo. Fingers crossed I don't go home.

im vulnerable, and it's an hour til tribal. i'm unsure of what's going to happen. here's a quick recap:

A - i go to ally/stephen to encourage reconciling. i think this is genuinely smart as we are all 'big threats' and it's stupid to let middle players slide by while helping pin bigger threats against one another. they basically end up agreeing (more so stephen). B - alyssa and tim come to me (separately) saying that they are throwing my name around, and tim goes even further to say that they want to split between me / jake. this sounds really believable based on track record. C - ally pms me saying that she heard X told Jess who told her that i'm targeting stephen. i say it's true, but under the circumstances that people are saying they are going after me. D - we talk in the "alliance" chat and come to a conclusion that jake should be the vote as he best fits the "middle player" role, thus being dangerous. though i disagree, i'm in no position to bury karthik/tim in a hole. E - with karthik spearheading, i help flip the vote from stephen to jess. this is because jess will weaken that side, and i don't trust her. at all. on top of that, it helps me not worry as much abt alyssa being sketchy & it keeps my promise 2 stephen/ally in the sense of not voting stephen (and i can argue saying that with them lying at merge, i had to be reaaaalllllyyyy cautious). F - i'm unsure about my idol. it could still happen. right now i'm leaning towards playing my idol because i want it GONE. by using this idol, here are the outcomes: F.1 - the vote is 4-4 or even more slanted, and i idol successfully, meaning jess will leave this game. F.2 - i receive 0 votes and completely waste it. this makes me more vulnerable, but also, could help if i utilize it correctly/effectively. F.3 - I receive 3 votes (give or take) and it's ineffective but shows that i can't trust ally/stephen and by attachment, jess (who should be gone). i guess my preferred order would be F1 -> F3 -> F2 just because if i use it, i want it to be as effective as possible since wasting an idol isn't going to help my case at FTC (which is already weak LSDGKDSLGDSH).

my gut is really sick (as always bar f9.. so just f10). i don't THINK i'm getting any votes, but u can never be too sure. to elaborate on the entire point of 'F', i want to go over pros n cons of idolling (and wasting it). PROS: - no more paranoia for me (GOD BLESS) - i'm much more vulnerable, meaning they may not target me (double-sided) - im 100% safe regardless, and in f7. CONS: - im more vulnerable; easier to target. - ppl are shook bc i dont trust them/ didnt tell them - its wasted and doesnt help my FTC case.

and lastly, who has the idols? [based on tribe idols] CONFIRMED: me . (OG Takagi idol) LIKELY: alyssa (the only person who could have two) COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ONE: stephen (someone probs has attila, i think itd be him or alyssa). karthik (basement king, but def not tribal idol probs .) jake (og kato, could have the kato idol). NOT LIKELY: tim (og takagi/nu-kato. both idols were gone, so i doubt it. but, maybe basement??) jess (unless she worked w alissa n found attalia, it's no) DEFINITELY NOT: ally (was on OG Takagi (my idol) and takagi post-swap, so unless swap idol, N/A).

Jess is voted out 5-3. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.

[rqs902]

OMGOSHH EP 5 IS YAO CHI APPRECIATION TIME YESSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSS 

ok bc i couldnt help but include some spoilers, the rest is going under the cut:

iqiyi giving mr tyger all the group shots bc........

BROOOOO CHEN SIJIAN’S RAP!!!!!!!!!!!! omgogomg this is where wuzelinwuzelinwuzelinsunzelinsunzelinsunzelinkeqinmingkeqinmingkeqinming comes frommmm i love itttt his lyrics are hilarious!!! and also immediately being like ‘ill get rid of wu zelin!’ when mc jin brings it up HAHHAHA

daniel is a cutie!!!!

yao chi talking about his rap..... wow can i hug him hes amazing

awwww xia hanyu talking about wenhan..... wenhan’s really done a lot for him

wait that whole last bit where they leave dachang is just obvious iqiyi favoritism and it kinda makes me sad.....

UGH honestly the worst part about jia yi being so popular is that hes gonna miss his tyger gege’s when he has to leave them behind....

by the time lin mo was called, he was already so done... he looked so defeated.... because he knew they wouldnt be able to stay together and its so heartbreaking..... 

OKAY THESE SPECIAL TEACHERS WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK. OH MY GOODNESSSSS HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE EVERY SINGLE TYGER MEMBER EXCEPT THE ONES THAT ACTUALLY NEED TO BE CHOSEN???!??!?!! THATS SO FRUSTRATING ALSDKJALSK LITERALLY EVEN IQIYI WANTED THEM TO BE CHOSEN!! THEY LITERALLY PAN TO EITHER JIN FAN OR ZHEN NAN AT EVERY SINGLE BREAK I SWEAR AALSKDJLKKSDK

jia yi hesitating at the end...... and zhen nan’s words at the end.... HES FREAKING 61!!!!!!1 61!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS FREAKING JIANG JINGZUO ALL OVER AGAIN BUT THEY DIDNT LET HIM SPEAK WTFFFFF ok if youre gonna keep giving zhen nan and jin fan screentime bc yall regret eliminating them so early why you dont give them screentime at the end when it really matters????? i wanna see what zhen nan would say (jingzuo’s last minute screentime got him a lot of attention too... the fact that they didnt give zhen nan any is NOT HELPING) and i wanna see jin fan and chen youwei’s freaking last friendship bc youwei was rooting for him the whole time bc HE KNOWS JIN FAN DESERVES TO MAKE IT!!!!

AHHHHHHHH LIN MO ITS LIN MO!!!??! HE’S INJURED!!?! AAAHHSHHGHHGHH NOT MY CHILD WTF NOOO!! lakjsdlakalsk omgosh please be alright..... it sounded like his voice making that pained sound, and the person was blonde so i think its lin mo....... noooo my heart.... i cant take more stress, we literally just had elims..... so lin mo has to say goodbye to his friends (including his best friend...) and then he gets injured???? alsdkjlakj ughhhh 

omgosh daniel getting the special time at the end is just another stab to the heart goodness.... he was my favorite oaca kid from the start.... 

i cant believe chen you made it and daniel didnt.... also im so sad that like ou tianrui was the only one who didnt make it from bg project, that must be so sad... also sad that yao chi is the only one from mavericks that made it... losing all your closest friends at once :c im happy for guan yue and mingming going up, they deserve it 

WHOEVER MADE THE ENDING CREDITS IS LIN MO BIASED HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA WTFFF THERES 3 CUTS OF HIM AND 2 OF THEM ARE REALLY EXTRA AND THE THIRD ISNT EVEN FROM THIS EPISODE HAHAHAH WHO INCLUDED THAT???!! i mean yes he looks very sad and is crying there but its like so random i laughed (im sorry)

okay not gonna lie i didnt cry as much as i thought i would. yes it was sad but i kinda already knew that jin fan and zhen nan werent gonna make it so i was more just FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY watching the whole thing and seeing them get random bits of screentime (YOURE TOO LATE IQIYI) but i heard rumors and then when i saw those goodbye videos they uploaded on weibo today....... my heart sank like oh goodness its real...... i cant live in denial forever.... I STILL CANT BELIEVE ZHEN NAN WAS FREAKING 61 AND JIN FAN WAS FREAKING UNDERAPPRECIATED WTFFFFF everyone on jin fan’s team im sure was rooting for him bc they knew how he was so vital to their success --- he literally taught them all the choreo wtf chen youwei would be nothing without jin fan..... ughhhh alsdkjalsdkjlaks this is so frustrating im so sad for him....... but now i just really wish jin fan and zhen nan do some really cool stuff and stay active while they wait for the others. i think its likely (sadly) that zhan yu will get eliminated the next round, (but im honestly surprised and grateful that the special teachers recognized his talent! he realllyy killed that ‘retreat’ stage even tho zhenning is getting all the attention) and lin mo is liked by iqiyi (i think) but i dont think he has enough potential to actually make it into the top 9... or maybe its just my wishful thinking bc i hope mr.tyger can go on promoting without jia yi, but without jia yi AND lin mo, itd get pretty rough for them, so if at least lin mo stays behind with mr. tyger, i think they could potentially still do somewhat well in the meantime while jia yi goes off to debut with the top 9 and they wait for him to come back

and now for my random predictions: 

right now its rather fixed that wenhan, guan yue, and jia yi will make it. I think youwei, huaiwei, mingming, chunyang, wang jiayi are all likely, which means most of them will make it (but probably not all), and then xixi.... honestly i feel like xixi wont make it (BUT I REALLY LIKE XIXI) but i think iqiyi doesnt like him enough to give him enough screentime for him to make it (at least at this current rate....) also please note that YAO MINGMING WAS THE ONLY ONE FROM THE TOP 9 who did NOT get to go on that trip to leave dachang coughiqiyihatesmingming but luckily/hopefully mingming is popular enough to get votes anyway, LIKE MINE BC I VOTE FOR MINGMING). other than the current top 9, I think its likely either shi zhan or li zhenning or deng chaoyuan will make it. zhenning is the lowest of the three right now, but iqiyi likes him and hes gotten the approval of all the judges AND he was able to shoot up a ridiculous amount from pretty much just ONE DAY of voting (maybe a week at max, counting from the time they released the solo cams), and these votes have been tallying for the past month. so can you imagine how much more he’ll shoot up next time? he has a ton of potential to make it. shi zhan is already up there but iqiyi really likes him too bc of how hilarious he is, and jolin’s approved his smile so i can see him getting more and more screentime too. yao chi i think is also likely, bc he won 1st place visuals hahah that gets him attention from the public but also the staff, so i think theyll give him more and more screentime too. plus he has a touching backstory and mc jin has approved of him too. i think yao chi is someone who they’ve depicted as really humble and works really hard, and they like his smile. (who doesnt hahaha) but ofc there’s probably gonna be a lot of toss up in the rankings yet to come. from ip1 we learned that 70% of the kids were fixed from the start hahaha but 2-3 of them can come from behind, so who knows. iqiyi seems to really like cheche and wangzhe (how did wangzhe and wu chengze get to go on the trip to leave dachang but not mingming?? i mean i really like chengze tbh but i was just so surprised he was there! hahaha it seems so random bc hes #22?? i mean good for him but still)

anyway im all in all kinda all tired from watching a stressful 3 hrs lol but tbh i feel like they didnt show as much of the fun hotpot time as id hoped... and what about all the other rankings besides #1 visual? i dont really understand why they took a few random kids (who, no surprise, all dont get eliminated this ep) out of dachang for that trip.... i like a lot of those kids honestly, but id rather have seen more of the big group bonding / singing over hotpot (giving some of the kids who get eliminated some last screentime before they leave) or at least like find out who ranked in #1 boyfriend or something like that hahaha.... oh well..... now its time for me to go wallow in some mr tyger content so i can mourn the loss of our two children.... 

[rqs902]

now im watching last week’s ep of tco4 bc i havent had time to get to it yet and i need to take my mind off snzm 

UGH its sad to hear xy, fsc and xiao huang talking about their rankings rip but their laughing makes it even more sad

UGH NOT FRUIT PLANET I REALLY LIKE THEMMMM sigh i gotta face the reality that theyre likely gonna get separated... but PLEASE AT LEAST SOMEONE SAVE XIAO ZHI PLEASE THATS ALL I ASK, im not gonna be greedy :(

oof i respect ma zhe saying that he doesnt want to win bc he recognizes other kids like FRUIT PLANET KIDS, zy and xiao zhi, are so skilled. he knows winning is just a numbers game and would not serve as proof of his skill. thats a tough place to be in, and it isnt uncommon but i think i rarely hear a contestant say it like that. “i dont want to win bc im not worthy” “i dont want to win bc i know im not as talented” 

wow i was a little confused as to why they were doing these solo spotlights but actually this is really nice! its nice to see them really going hard at their strengths and really pouring their all in to show off a bit. it can be hard to do so in a group setting all the time, and really it reminds you that there a lot of really talented musicians among these kids. i think itll also be good to remind the kids who are picking later what the other kids’ skills are and what they’re capable of. 

oh whoa i thought about there only being 2 bassists, i didnt realize there are only 2 pianists too

hm maybe im just biased but i thought xiao li’s playing was a litttleee bit cleaner than szb’s heheh but i respect that they attempted to even play a duet from across the room, thats a challenge 

i respect muji’s playing 

LOL why do xiao huang and zhao ke’s voices singing together sound so strange to me LOL 

LOL switch to ljt’s group and im just !!!!! HIS VOICE !!!! I LOVE LIAO JUNTAO’S VOICEEE and also the cafe vibe is so him LOL this group is so him

wait so someone explain to me why ljt wasnt in the solo section? is he considered a vocal? but what about his guitar skills?? 

im kinda sad jym isnt smiling when drumming anymore :\ 

YAY FRUIT PLANET !! i love how happy xiao zhi and wsh look when playing hahah 

AW talking about xiao zhi being like a dad and 包容 and taking care of them im ughhhh UGH THIS IS A MINI XIAO ZHI FEATURE IM CRYINGGGG THIS CHILD DESERVES THIS “the one who’s left standing when everyone else falls down” hes just so supportive and warm.. ugh watching him break down crying thinking about all he couldve done better and you can tell he feel so guilty and blames himself that fruit planet isnt doing well

HAHAHAHA EVERYONE WANTS XIAO ZHI !!! except szb lol but at least i know if they do get disbanded, hopefully xiao zhi will still be safe :’) im glad they all recognize his talent and the importance of having a bassist!!! 

oof xiao xiong talking about hyt being overbearing and reminding him of his ANGRY DAD thats a big ouch. it is true that xiao xiong’s skill level may not be up to hyt’s standards, but i can see hyt doesnt respect him enough as a team member. the more familiar hyt gets with him, the more he isnt afraid to show his true feelings of frustration. esp bc theyre in such a stressful situation, it must be rough as a leader. also seems rough for xiao li to be stuck in between this. from the beginning hyt has shown himself to have high standards and he demands high quality so he isnt gonna be the soft, encouraging leader xiao xiong probably would prefer, unfortunately. ouch the way hyt straight up says “this is going to be painful” like theres nothing he can do about it and they just have to accept it. like ps says, he’s not good at understanding other people’s feelings, like he doesnt seem to be willing to try to understand xiao xiong’s. 

the way hyt lists what other people are doing and then asks xiao xiong “那你呢?” ouch........ that seems really mean? manipulative? harsh? but at the same time, we dont really know all the context so this is just want tencent wants us to think.

hyt also wants xiao zhi???? I cant imagine xiao zhi in this group, even tho itd probably be good for his possible debuting prospects, but xiao zhi gives me such a laid back, warm, taking care of everyone, creating a nice, supportive environment type of leader, and this group is literally the opposite of that??? ugh and yet, despite their superior group environment, fruit planet is at risk of getting disbanded... so sad. 

man with the way these votes are trending hyt is gonna win and ljt wont debut? :(

lol tencent cutting the speeches of less popular contestants not surprised 

wait wat. isnt qiang ge very popular??? what happened to his votes? wait what. im confused. what???

LOL FRUIT PLANET IS SAFE IM SO RELIEVED HAHAH okay i know i came into this show for ljt but xiao zhi has become one of my picks too, i cant deny anymore LOL and also xiao li -- but hyt’s group’s dynamic makes me feel uncomfortable at the moment. but yea ljt, xiao zhi, xiao li are my top 3... too bad they DEF wont be in the same group / wouldnt mesh well in a group together LOL 

i love fruit planet group dynamic :’) watching them talk to each other just makes me smile

OH MY GOODNESS XIAO LI IS LEAVING?????? i can understand though, this grouping is not ideal from a music making standpoint either, like why are there so many vocalists lol but also i respect that hes putting his music first and he knows what he wants and needs for his music. even if it means leaving hyt who is basically a guarantee for popularity on this show. im so surprised xiao xiong isnt saying he will leave too.. or even hyt himself at this point. theyre all just... crying.... but honestly how can they make music without xiao li??? 

AWH my heart.... xiao li asking xiao xiong “你會恨我嗎?” i have never felt “do you hate me” hit me in the feels like this before. its such an OOF. and xiao xiong saying hes super close to xiao li, you can tell hes been under such emotional duress and xiao li has supported him through and now hes just conflicted between betraying hyt (who he wouldnt be here without) and suffering with hyt without xiao li there to help. this is so sad to watch..... ok but honestly just seeing how in this emotional time, ma zhe and xiao xiong are talking to xiao li and NOT hyt says something about how theyre afraid to touch him. 

what xiao li says about hyt being kidnapped by his popularity makes so much sense, with what hyt said about chasing after his expectations and trying to live up to them. hes really not relaxed. ever. and i think thats what xiao li doesnt want to work with. i respect that he wants to be recognized for his music rather than just be recognized. 

wat is this show doing why did they just stop and let them wallow in their feelings for hours??? wtf?? i mean i appreciate they respect that its a difficult and important decision but shouldnt they make them move on more efficiently?? what a waste of everyone’s time...

lol hyt learning some eq? yes you have to take care of your group members’ feelings, theyre people....

L O L XIAO LI GOING BACK ON HIS DECISION IM DYINGG HAHHAHAHAHHAHA WHAT A WASTE OF EVERYONES TIME HAHAHHAHA WHAT IS THIS SHOW. but okay yes i respect xiao li for having the guts to say he wants to leave, bc that hopefully gave hyt the wake up call he needed. BUT ALSO i do think staying with hyt makes sense career-wise. gaining popularity first isnt a bad thing. and he can always (continue to) prove his worth and make all different types of songs in the future, whether during or after his time with hyt. but staying with hyt = exposure, and thats never a bad thing. its just... hopefully they can resolve their emotional issues from here on out.

technically the smart move is to pick a popular contestant like zhao ke, to boost your group’s popularity overall. BUT hyt is so popular it really doesnt matter LOL 

L O L xiao li being like well i cant get the group i want anyway, so idgaf lets just keep on “戲劇化” HAHAHAHHA he gives no effs anymore

but also i cant imagine them with another non-instrumentalist LOL and what kind of style will they have now? 

ok wait let me go back to look at this:

hm yea the only other person of choice that would be helpful for votes is qiang ge. but i also cant imagine him on fruit planet???? ugh i wonder if qiang ge turned them down bc he feels like he’d ruin them like he blames himself for ruining his past groups. 

i cant believe xiao li said he tried to talk to qiang ge for 3 hours until 6am... to convince him to come to fruit planet? wild. 

UGH so sad that fruit planet didnt get a successful pick but honestly i am kinda glad mty didnt agree bc i kinda really would like to continue seeing xiao zhi play bass..... but ofc i guess it would be nice for him to show other skills too, ah im conflicted. but he really looks so carefree and like hes having so much fun when playing bass, id hate to take that away

LOL BASICALLY SZB CONFESSING TO MUJI HAHAHHAHAHA IS THIS A HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA ALL THE SUDDEN HAHAHHAHA actually i havent seen them interact before but i can kinda see muji’s personality meshing with their group’s, like hes kinda quirky and strange too LOL its cool they do get along tho

OOF SO MANY REJECTIONS. but also muji’s right, last time he wasnt strong enough, so i respect that hes really trying this time. 

omg szb throwing a tantrum and trying to force muji’s hand is not very respectful to muji’s wishes and it makes muji look like a bad guy :( im glad muji’s standing his ground tho, this is not the time to indulge a child’s tantrum lol

on the bright side, i love xiao zhi’s laugh, so at least we got something out of this LOL

LOL xy so easily pulling fsc over LOL why cant they all be like this LOL save tencent editing time LOL 

i knew there were too many emotions on ljt’s team........ i cant believe as soon as szb is like marginally okay, jym is like NOPE....... L O L 

.....i cant believe..... they’re just.... cutting it off...... like this....... WHAT IS THIS SHOW AHHAHAHAH okayyyyyyyyyyyy thennnnnnnn 

oof wasnt 車站 ljt’s last song before elimination? i just got hit with a wave of sadness and memories oof i wasnt ready 

man its so interesting bc i feel like on other shows, the contestants are always like “i dont want to get eliminated!” but here its like “i dont feel like i can fit into their music, id rather be eliminated.” its an interestingly different type of setting. i respect that they respect their own music, but i guess theyre not thinking enough about their future career progression? if they really want to make it in the music industry? idk. its interesting bc i feel like ljt has struggled so hard since getting eliminated from the first season that i assume / hope he has more of a mindset of wanting to make it to the end.

anyway im kinda surprised fruit planet made it so high LOL but yay for them, i really wonder what will happen with them picking their 5th member. im surprised qiang ge’s votes are so low? itll be sad if he really leaves though. ugh only 2 out of 4 groups successfully regrouped and one of them took an extra 2 hours to decide.... lol. i still dont understand why that was allowed in the first place but okay. this is the most struggle elimination ep ive ever seen LOL 

[rqs902]

.

This is the strangest and most 隨便 and least emotional ranking reveal ever

What is xikan's weird pink streaked hair

You know it makes no sense for xzx to make it in when cxh is #23 and they're literally the same person except for his connection to gjm... CMON CXH TOTALLY KNOWS ITS RIGGED LOOK AT HIS FACE

so did akey only make it in bc 20boy or did youku add him into top 14 just so it wouldnt look weird for xzx to be the only unexpected one

Wait did we get to see them eat hotpot together or am I forgetting something

Aw all of zlj's group came together except zhan yu bc tyger lol

Ofcourse ycw could get emotional lol

That was a weird transition straight into a shot of douzi lol

Also can we talk about how awkward zry and xzx are on stage LOLLL actually when I think about it, in comparison, ycw being as comfortable as he is on stage is pretty impressive.

Also gz's voice sounds nice! But also theres some weird audio stuff going on with the live and recorded voices not lining up LOL awkward.

Im just watching this perf being like why this song.....

LOL SBR'S MILK TEA SHOP

wait so people who didnt make it in ep 1 just dont exist to this show LOL rip

LOL LI HAOS FACE when syh is talking hahahahhhahahahahha

Lol this second group just standing on stage all bored of waiting lol

Omg lin mos voice

Wat just happened to him lol

Ooof lin rans voice is so fitting ahhhh

So why are they still singing covers during the finale lol

Lol why am I so amused that lin mos interaction with the girl was basically no interaction LOL

Lol feels like they're not singing live

Lin mo has lost a lot of weight

PLEASE LET LIN RAN CENTER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HE NEEEEEEDS THISSSSSS

Please please please please please omg this can be it, this can be a lyj moment!!!

LOL WHY DO THEY GET MULTIPLE VOTES lol wasting everyone's time making things over dramatic

I'm sorry I love ycw but lin ran neeeeeeeds this

OMGOMGOGMGOMGMGNGMG YESSSSSSSSSS LIN RAN CENTERRRRRR

Lol they look out of sync and they don't seem to be singing live either?

Man this isnt as satisfying as I thought itd be bc the center doesnt stand out very much?? He doesnt even get a particularly nice outfit.... the camera is also not particularly focusing on him....

This song is okay but why is xzx suddenly a vocal

看我的手段!!!!!!! Tyger!!!!!

Tbh this perf looks messy and the outfits and staging are so mediocre??? This is so far from what I imagined a finale stage to look like.

The top 14 is missing a strong vocal like ZHAN YU lol... even renyu when dancing doesnt sound particularly strong :/

Lol ylq and cyc sitting together lol

Ay Jin fan and zhan yu!!!!!

Gz and zlj are both really good dancers and maybe I'm just biased but I feel like the other group did better, just had more strength? Their friendship is cute tho hahaha

Omg hwx and lm imitating them IM DED

I'm not super perturbed who gets center bc I dont think itll really matter for these kids, they're ranked so safe. But hoping itll be xikan just bc I love xikan :')

Xikan and zuo ye repping IP ayyyy

AY XIKAN but c'mon if it wasnt, it wouldn't make much sense. plus youku owes him LOL

Xse rap a bit messy

But this song and stage is so much more high quality designed than lin ran's smh

Lol did zlj just say "booty" wat

Lol did lin mo mess up

Im just so happy they actually LOOK good, and even tho the prerecorded is so overbearing at least lin mos voice sounds nice on it LOL

When zlj is in a group of strong performers like this, you really notice how much he gets buried...

LUO ZHENGGGGGGG OMGGGG HE LOOKS SO MATURE WTFFFFF I'm so happy he came, what real friendship :')

Lol ycw's mom would be here lol

Awwww luo jie.....

Aww dxy and lxk first meeting and cyc and ycw wow such warm beginnings

Aw Jin fan and sbh friendshipp

LOL LI HAO RIPPING THE CAMERA OFF THE WALL

Ylq crying like a ycw lol

Ayy I hear lin mo cheers :')

Lol they added shoulder pads to their uniforms, is this ytzm style lol

I would not be surprised if star master paid for 2 tygers to make it into the top 14 lol

aw akey's crying.... I'm happy for him, doing so much better this time around. He deserves to have more recognition for all he does

Lol ycw isnt crying??? Loljk and even cyc aw

LIN RANNNNN aw hes crying too... and xue en

Aw gz reminding us that hes really just a smol child inside.

Lin mo's been through all of this before so hes trying really hard to be strong. Ofcourse youku is suppressing his votes to put him at the edge to add drama ugh this is the type of thing that would happen to lin mo.... literally he deserves to be so safe pls

Hwx also just a child inside aw

lol I'm sorry this is supposed to be so emotiona but hwx's foundation is such a weird shade lol actually zuo ye's is too LOL

I'm grateful for the extra xue en footage? Lol seems random but hes so handsome darn

Omg is xikan teaching a bunch of moms how to dance eiei

I love tygers

Omg LI HAO THIS VCR ENDING IS TOP QUALITY HAHAHHHAA

Singapore broooooos

Ofcourse li hao yet again delivering us the eng subs lol

Oh gosh seeing lin mo sing this type of song with this look of sadness reminds me too strongly of the qcyn finale. Oh gosh the hair, the gaze, it's such a punch to the gut

Wow these kids look so uninvested LOOOOLLL but also I'm surprised they let all them back on stage for this and not the theme song?

Oscar comforting a distraught lin ran omg can we pls talk about this

Hm how did they do this part distribution lol

Literally youku keeps using junrong for his voice but gives him no recognition ugh

The crowd cheering for xikan yus

Oh I notice enyu's hair is styled like a wave oo

Why is Jin Fan's hair such a strange color

Lol ycw would be completely ruined

Aw lin mo's little smile at the end of his words

Youku is really bent on making this the longest finale ever lol...... another song???? With everyone??? Uhhh and obviously some people's mics aren't on??? I'm so confused what is happening why cant I hear some of their voices lol

LOL LI HAO RUNNING INYO ENYU HAHAHA

This is really dragging things out lol I'm just doing work while watching bc no ones got time for this much unnecessary build up..... good thing all my meetings are in the afternoon today lol

At least they kinda highlighted xikan more in that last montage... finally

Ugh why did renyu get 6th. I think it means it's over for lin ran. You know I'm not surprised but also I still cant believe youku did this. What a disaster.... I knew I'd be disappointed by these results :( im literally shaking my head.

the rest is gonna be lxk zlj hwx zy lm gz in whatever order youku wants. Well it's over. Thanks for the quick ending to the suspense youku lol

They even had the audacity to put zry 6th.....not even 7th..... is this an insult? Theres no way. It's like they want to make it seem like he was safely at the top but theres no way.

Well I knew not to get my hopes up, gotta be ready for disappointment lol.... lm hasn't been announced yet at #3..... lol is this what star master had to pay to get akey in top 14? Pulling lin mo down. Well I feel like this is gonna be a damper on his career bc the media wont care how high you ranked before, but only where you rank at the end. And the ranking becomes how the media defines you.

How tf would lin mo go from 3rd to 7th wtf. Theres no way. He literally has one of the largest fan bases lol this makes zero sense. Way to play with someone's career for the sake of your dumb drama youku

Why is stanning lin mo always like this...... ugh he always gets stepped on and mistreated

I'm sure hes disappointed, hes supposed to be higher and everyone knows. Theres a reason the fans were demanding 高位, not just debut

Also rip lin ran sigh I'm so sad for lin ran too.... what will lin ran do now... he was so close this time :( is he gonna have to do this again?

and the kid has been so distraught for the better half of this 4 hour show.... you can tell how much this really means to him and how desperate he is and how empty and completely ruined he’ll feel when he realizes hes lost. tbh i dont think renyu would’ve felt that destroyed. but youku is here to destroy lin ran. 

I knew youku would disappoint me

THANK YOU AT LEAST XIKAN IS CENTER. If anything, he shouldn't be so emotional bc he shouldn't have needed to be so worried. He so safely has the largest fanbase, but youku just didnt make it easy for him. The main reason why he has doubt in himself is because of youku, and it's sad bc he deserve to feel safe, he shouldn't have to feel so insecure.

Me still smh to see renyu on the other side and lin ran stuck in the back.

Lol the right side of the debut group (the public's picks) vs the left side (youku's picks)....

Lol SKY could be worse

Lol feels like youku just being like let's pick a random english word

Okay but really, I just really want to know what lin ran will do next

I have zero hopes youku will actually manage this group well. Let's look at new storm or blackace lol

Like we all knew this lineup would happen but it doesnt make me any less sad or disappointed

Welp at least it's over now. Time to continue doing my work lol

renyu makes nice songs

but that doesnt mean he fits in a boy band better than lin ran 

i dont think ill ever get over this