#you dont even wanna see what i was making a year ago
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"Him" | LN4
Parings: Lando Norris x bestie!reader.
Summary: Oblivious idiots to lovers. That's what Max said.
Word count: +2,7k.
Warnings: nooone just pure fluff and some language hehe. Not a native english speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Author's note: AAAAAAA i loved writting this one 🥹 Dont forget to comment, like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
“You only say that because you fancy him, y/n. You can't play with me”Max said out of nowhere while talking about the whole Lando drama and his fourth championship at Danny Ric’s house. Your three have been best friends for quite some time now. Actually, you have been friends with most of the grid for a couple of years now. They were like family to you and recently, you moved countries to live and study in Monaco and be able to spend more time with your friends.
“What have you just said motherfucker?” you acted offended. Nethertheless it took you by surprise that he said such a thing when you have never talked about Lando and your feelings for him with him nor danny. But Max knew you too well to already know the whole story. Of course Danny laughen and you could feel the heat going up your face. You feel exposed so you try to cover up by drinking another sip from your glass of white wine. You thank god it was in the privacy of Danny's house and not some random bar for everyone to hear.
“Oh c’mon y/n, i think it’s pretty too obvious by now” max continued noticing the panic and surprise on your face.
“Yeah, it is obvious and cute to see how you drool, staring at him everytime he talks. And not to mention you eat him alive at races when he is all sweaty -” danny continued the torture but you stopped them both making them laugh.
“Just stop!” you said “you guys are impossible!” your face was red and anxiety took over you for a moment.you sighed defeated. “To be honest with you, yeah, I do like him. But lets be real, im nt even his type at all” you said remembering how he was kissing magui, that model he fucks now and the, kind of a situationship, in front of your fucking face the whole night a few weeks ago. “And even as impossible as it sounds, if there was an actual chance for me with him, we wouldn't work either. I'm complicated. And he doesn't see me like that. He never did. And i'm sure that won't change like ever” you added just convince yourself of everything you said. It was impossible, right? There was no chance in this universe for him to see you like that. You are so far from what he used to date. It's just an innocent crush. You’ll meet someone,right? You saw Max denying with his head.
“y/n, i know you are not the most confident human being i know but be fucking for real, you are not complicated. And everything you said it's nonsense. You are fun to be around, you make him laugh until he pisses himself, you give him his favorite things, you bake him cookies and pies, you listen to him when he is sad, you are like the bestest person next to him. And let me tell you, I have no doubts he is into you as much as you are. It's in your eyes guys. You love each other more fondly than you want to admit” he said leaving you speechless for a moment and with a mess of confusion around your head. You wanted to believe him but at the same time you can’t.
“Mic drop, sir” Danny said and they both laughed. You smiled but rolled your eyes in disbelief.
“I wish” you finally said, making Max roll his eyes.
“Two oblivious idiots, can you believe it danny?” Max said ironically and Danny followed him.
“I see it mate. It's sad. I wanna cry” he said.
“You guys are impossible." You declared to go back to your trivial talk about cats and australia barbecue.
(...)
It was a beautiful saturday. You were thankful Ria said yes to accompany you to buy a new outfit for tonight's party. Martin Garrix was in town and lando invited you all to his friend's show. Coffees in hand, you were chatting about everything and anything.
“So the plan is a sexy outfit just to impress your boy?” she teased and you rolled your eyes.
“Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea that I like lando? As if he would care what I wear or not” you said, a little irritated. You just wanted to conquer someone else tonight to forget about all of this and move one. You knew it was impossible that Lando liked you back so why be stuck in it? You were gonna dress up and doll up and conquer whoever you may please. That was your masterplan.
“Girl, you need to relax. I say it first hand: he cares a lot fucking much. He likes you. I just know.but you two are too dumb to accept it” she said raising her shoulders.
You felt so confused once again. These were Lnados friends who knew him just like you did. First it was Max and Danny and now it is ria. You didn't want to fool yourself. And at the same time you wanted him to know for the longest time. You wanted him to notice you. And you also knew him and you knew how he is with girls and if he liked you then he would've told you by now.
“Ria, dont play with me” you begged. Concern showed in your voice. She gave you a gentle hug by your side.
“I won't ever do that to you y/n. I would never in a million years forgive myself if I did. You're my friend and I just want you to be happy. Believe me” her voice was soft and sweet. You just smile and change the subject. You didn't want to discuss this anymore. Nor did you think you could handle it.
(...)
Saturday night finally came and so did the margaritas you so dearly adore when you needed to forget reality. You were pretty tipsy by now. You met Franco Colapinto and you didn't even know he was invited but oh god he was so fun to be around. You've Been talking to him the whole night about whatever to be honest.and yeah, he looked really hot tonight by the way. You felt lucky he even looked at you and so you followed around.
You bumped into Max at the bar table after ordering yet another margarita. He looked at you a little tipsy as well.
“So you replaced lando for an argentine prince, huh?” He teased you.
“Oh shut the fuck up verstappen. Were in public” you said going back to the barman who was handing you your precious margarita drink. He rolled his eyes.
“Be careful. Lando's not happy” he said and disappeared into the people holding his vodka with red bull. Weird mix but he was loyal to his employers i guess.
You came back to where Franco was waiting for you to be back. He looked so cute under the lights in that white shirt he was wearing. And speaking of white shirt you saw Lando talking to him. You cursed yourself right there. You may or may not have ignored him the whole night. But you just couldn't face him after what all your friends said. You just didn't want to be tempted by his pretty shiny green eyes and his mouth. Oh what you'd give up just to taste his lips.
“Oh there is the missing girl,” Lando said, looking at you when you arrived and smiling nervously. The tension established between you two even Franco noticed it.
“Guess it is my turn to go to the bar. Be right back, guys” he said and left the two of you alone. You took a sip from your glass avoiding his sight.
“What's wrong with you?” he said kind of offended? Anger could be clearly heard in his voice. You sighed not knowing what to answer.
“What do you mean lando?” you decided to play the fool. You wanted to run away. His eyes were intimidating you.
“One day we watch movies together and bake cookies and the other you ignore me for several days and even flirt with another dude straight to my face?” what he just told you took you by surprise. You frowned, confused at his statement. The tension was burning your throat. He got closer and so you finally faced him. You looked at him. His face straight and his eyes dark with a little sparkle. You couldn't read what was going on inside him. Maybe he was just as confused as you were. “You look too pretty in that dress to be talking to him and not me” you could breathe his warm breath tasting tequila mixed with lemon. You swallowed hard. Your insides exploded. what was happening? He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him. His touch burns your skin sending shivers down your spine. This was actually happening? Your hands were shaking. You really thought about what to tell him. A devilish smile appeared in his face when he thought he left you speechless. But you weren't ready to let him win.
“Well, for your information, I'm single and I can talk to wherever my vagina pleases so that shouldn't be none of your business. Also, why would I talk to you if you have been talking with more than one girl tonight? I'm a selective lady. What can I say” you smiled innocently.
He bit his lip. He tightened his grip around you. More possessive. More irresistible. Your innocent smile turns into a triumph smile. ”so if you dont mind i’ll keep talking to Franco and luckly fuck him. Have a good night Landito” you said provocatively leaving lando hanging into his words as you pulled away and walked away from him. His brain is malfunctioning.
And as you promised you kissed and fucked Franco Colpinto that night.
(...)
It was already the next sunday and Lando had disappeared. There was nowhere to be found. He didn't reply to your texts nor your calls. He became just dead silent. That made you feel even more confused than you already were. What did it mean what happened at the party? What were his intentions? Why didn't you kiss him? You were torn into feeling guilty and stupid at the same time. Like you had an actual chance with him but you didn't take it. And you didn't even know why. You hated yourself so much for that. How stupid.
Max, Lando's best friend, invited you over along with Pietra and Lando. You were cooking some vanilla flavored cookies with chocolate chips. The famous crumble cookies. Lando has been pretty much ignoring you. And you have been really quiet. Very unusual both ways. The tension was irritating. Max and Pietra tried to play it cool but it was very uncomfortable. When Lando came back from the bathroom, Max took him into the terrace and you stayed with pietra inside in the kitchen doing your stuff.
“Babe, what happened between you two?” she sounded genuinely worried. You sighed stressed.
“To be honest with you, I don't know. After a weird moment at the party last Saturday, he has been ust ignoring me. I didn't know if he was even alive if Max didn't invite us here. Very childish in my opinion but what can I say? I Didn't face him either.” you explained and pietra frowned her eyebrows.
“You need to talk honey. You need to tell him” she said, sobbing in your arms. You pressed your lips together looking outside through the glass door straight to lando seriously talking to max.
(...)
After the worst and most traumatic hang around with Max and Pietra - the cookies were great by the way - Lando offered to give you a ride and you said yes. Probably the worst decision of your life because the tensi could be cut by a knife and it was hard to breathe of how dense the air was inside the car. His radio was playing Jmaes Blunt ‘you’re beautiful". It was one of your favorite songs. How pretty was to you to enamour someone just by existing in the subway going to work or going back from university. You just romanticized that idea. You started mumbling the lyrics in a whisper just to not disrupt his comfort. But after a few seconds he turned off the radio and you looked at him weirded out.
“I can't do this anymore,” he said, parking his car on the side of the road. Anxiety kicked you. You licked your lips looking at your hands and he was just starting to nowhere outside his car window.
“I really like you y/n. I am in love with you in fact. And dim so stupid i realized about it when i saw you with Franco kissing. His hands touching you grossed me out. It felt wrong because that should've been me - not him” he finally looked at you. What he just said took you by surprise and you wanted to cry but holded inside. You looked back at him. The knot in your throat was unbearable.
“We are idiots,” you said, remembering what Max said to you a couple of months ago.”Because I'm in love with you. I was too afraid to tell you and ruin what he had. Losing you terrifies me. And to be honest I just thought you wouldn't even look at me that way. I never felt pretty enough for you, I don't know why” when he heard you say that last sentence his heart sank.
“I always felt you were out of my league to be honest. Please, y/n, you're gorgeous, and funny as fuck, and intelligent, and sweet and such a great person. You're almost perfect. Don't ever talk about you like that. I'm just an idiot. A normal stupid ass dude. Don't compare yourself like that ever again” he said feeling a little guilty for you to feel that way even though it was not his fault.
You gave him a soft smile nodding.”you know? I can't believe every single friend of yours told me for months that you liked me and I just couldn't believe it. How dumb I gotta be. So I'll fight the intelligent compliment of yours” you said, making him laugh.
“But let's be honest, who thinks straight when they are in love?” he said with the most precious smile and sparkly eyes looking at you so fondly. You knew you had heart eyes in your eyes.
“Fair point” you said, smiling widely. And you giggled out of nervousness. He did too.
Two kids in love. You dreamed about this day for so many years. You just hoped that it wasn't another dream because it felt like one. And without asking, Lando took you out of your self doubt and inner conversion pressing his lips into yours in the most felt kiss you have ever given. The man that you are Lando norris. You cupped his face on your hands making the kiss more intimate and passionate. A kiss you two wanted to give for so long. You said everything in that kiss. You just knew this was it. This was the start of the most exciting and magical love story. And it was yours.
It was him. It has always been him. Lando. Your best friend. Him and no one else by your side.
(...)
Your eyes filled with tears of joy. You were at the wedding of one of your best friends: max verstappen. Lando was holding your hand gently and so dearly. They were speaking their vows and everything was so emotional. You were such a sensitive soul. Lando loved that about you. So pure in emotions. So vulnerable yet so strong and brave. That was you and watching the isle,he knew it was you who was gonna be there with him when the moment came around. The bride kissed the man and you two cheered the new wife and husband of the group. You looked at Lando for a moment knowing he was the love of your life and it was gonna be you two there one day.
What you did not expect was to take in your own hands the wife’s bouquet announcing you were next in line to get married. Youcelebrated in happiness and laughter around your friends and Lando. You kissed him so fondly.
“I love you bestie” you said between his lips grabbing him by the neck, the bouquet in one of your hands.
“I love you bestie, forever” he said with heart eyes hugging you looking at you with love in every fiber of his body.
“Forever and always” you assured him.
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Hope you liked it 💌 if you have any idea my inbox is open so send your requests!
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alright i finished this so i need to celebrate my accomplishment (???) by sharing it to the world
BETTER versions of my trio designs. because boo boo the other old ones were BORING and TOO SIMPLE and lowhighkey UGLY. i had no idea what i was thinking when i made this but i guess design notes before to see if i can figure out what the fuck these mean 💀
killer🔪:3
he got a GLOW UP!!! when i was figuring him out i was thinking like. this man needs to look combat ready he CANNOT look chill and relaxed he MUST look good to fight. killer can't catch a break 💀 anyways. it's ALSO not revealing (⁎˃ᴗ˂⁎) because i feel he would NOT wear that stuff cmon flirty =/= revealing. his charms are found through his words and actions (stabbing someone through the heart) (speaking of the heart i couldn't be bothered to draw his soul mb)
the gloves/shirt/leggings under his clothes may LOOK seperate. but its actually all one big piece!!! because i thought it would be silly and funny :3 but like on a serious note i like this because it provides an extra layer of protection (both in a fight and not) and like. a sense of anonymity i guess??? like you can't see killer's natural body you cant SEE who he was before because hes changed that much (or i guess HE cant see who he was b4 wtvr)
actually a lot of killer's outfit has meaning behind it. knee pads = unnatural body imitation killer is a whole new being now not monster (also adding 2 the combat look :3) belts = restraint killer needs to stay in line and do as he's ordered (i needed some visual interest 💀) zippers on shoes?? actually no meaning i just thought it would be cute. somehow i managed to find meanings 4 all of the trio's zippers. killer's is jammed in that spot. show like idk he is irreversibly changed to what he is now (a lot of this makes no sense)
horror 🪓 :3
if you remove all the rips in the clothes he'd be the most basic out of all of them. but theyre there so he's NOT the most basic! 4 horror i was thinking like "you can see he's fucked up but you can also see he's desperately trying to keep it together" type feel. i totally didnt steal those under socket lines (thank you mania and paranoia for donating to your og versions :3) to make horror look more 🌀🌀🌀 (cannot describe it)
the cloak was stolen from undyne trust. he wears it as a power move FUCK YOU!!! to her :3 also it looks royal and regal which could kinda show like horror's power and sway over snowdin. he's DEFINITELY not a king but he is a provider and a lot of what he says goes around those parts. a lot of ppl look to him as like world's shittiest leader(ish). also i just wanted him to have something unique!
underneath horror's jacket his shirt is reaaaally torn he should probably replace it. there are some holes from when he was pinned down with spears during the core incident and then the whole lower half is just totally torn off from that one comic 💀 but thats why the jacket is zipped up! however the zipper broke and now the jacket can't unzip! (because horror struggles with the fact that horrortale ISNT gonna be perpetually shitty (everyone say thanks aliza) and would rather nobody see him vulnerable)
dust🧣:3
i didn't change much about him lowkey he's pretty much wearing the same CLOTHES. just that the style and way he's wearing them changed. wanted him to give like,,,,, comfy (because bro did not change out of his sansish clothes) but also like FOCUSED o(≧口≦)o like horror he has the under socket line but thats just to make him look more stressed and tired
i moved around the scarf to NOT be around his neck bc it was sooo annoying drawing the hood and then having to account for the scarf. it kind gave him a baby face vibe which i did NOT like. also i think dust would wear the scarf however. very versatile as long as the scarf remains intact. so it COULD go around waist COULD be around neck COULD be around limbs
i didn't mean to do this but the black thingy around his shoulders (was originally there just to fill in the empty space without the scarf there 💀) could be seen as like mourning wear. again with the silly zipper symbolism but dust's zipper is fine its not broken like horror or killer's are because he chose to go down this path. dust CHOSE to zip it up and now its too late to go back now (so bro MUST power through ‼️‼️ he cant unzip the zipper now!!!!)
overall i like these. usually i like coming up with cool unique character designs its so fun but my trio was hard (im hard). probably bc i didnt wanna make then wear anything too weird Dx BUT NOW AT LEAST THEY ALL LOOK LESS BABY!!!! i think i depicted how i see them though like ughhh cannot explain but now they look like how i want them to sound
#i love love LOVE the cloak i gave horror its so fun and silly#it makes him feel so much more im better than you superior asshole vibes#these were inspired by like some old mtt but girl drawings i made a year ago and never showed anyone#so like. i feel like it shouldve been MORE fem looking than the olds ones but surprisingly not#they look gender neutral now!!!! YES!!!!!! mtt just skeletons could look fem or masc but i dont think they would#so they wear clothing in between!!! besides if i wanted to make them girly i have jk fashion au for that#i said no slutty killer but i feel that way for all of them. they wouldn't go around shirtless or wearing tight clothing#they are covered up i swear. none of these fucks are comfortable enough with themselves and anyone else to wear anything revealing#me when i see killer or horror with no shirt on (PUT ON A SHIRT!!! ESPECIALLY KILLER!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIRTLESS THAT EXPOSES YOUR SOUL#and horror's probably scrawny and his bones are brittle so why would be expose them to the elements even more 😭😭 AND he lives in snowdin#something something dust and horror have more classic similar smiles while killers isnt#i was just bullshitting with the mourning outfit dust thing but from the upper half he lowkey does look like it#like a grief stricken depressed maiden. what a surprise that he feels bad after killing everyone he loves#i drew killer with knives here but what i really wanted to draw were like chained blades. sickles. a sword. other blades than just a knife#i actually was gonna draw my trio with different weapons 😭😭 but then i got sidetracked and just drew them with different clothes#when i was drawing dust i was like OH SHIT HE LOOKS WAAAAY TOO MUCH LIKE CLASSIC SANS.#it was unnerving. this is why i give them all different eye shapes to differentiate them!#now they all look more serious and grown up. even tho theyre all grown adult fucking men and damn horror's like 30#dust and killer look more ready to fight and horror looks more like. authoritative???? idk but its a good look 4 then#i desillyfied them. i /srsed them. i got rid of all the fun and whimsy but its ok i guess. maybe these will be easier to draw at least#UGHHH now i have to memorize these designs. only downside.....#now they all dont look similar or like branches of eachother. idk how to feel about that#prior they were clearly all connected. like a precure team they had differences but the overall vibe was the same#does this mean i have to change the mst's outfits to fit with the mtt's now 😭😭 dont wanna!! i dont wanna redraw the mst!!!#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule art
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silly oc doodle..... ballroom yuri
#ocs#ok so im gonna ramble/complain in the tags for a bit bc i love to complain its mostly not even gonna be relevant to the ocs but anyway ok#yknow that diagram abt art skills thats like ability to see/ability to draw#im at the BAD PART OF IT RN#i wanna draw fanart so bad but then i get annoyed bc the fanart doesnt look as good as the source material GHRG which is a totally#unreasonable thing to think bc source material is drawn by Professionals but you know how it is. Art Hard etc etc complain etc etc#need to do more studies etc etc#i wanna be able to draw really good so i can draw the things i love!!!!! even if its hard and tedious i wanna practise!!!! i love art!!!!!!#dont think about whats easy think about whats fun - bokuto koutarou etc#anyway everyday i am sad i have to sit in front of a desk for 8 hours instead of practising drawing :( i wanna table at a con this year....#but is there even time.....#ANYWAY this is somewhat relevant bc in an effort to be less hard on myself mayhaps i will try draw more oc things so i dont feel pressure#(self imposed)#to make it perfect kjskjkd#or at least not as much#and hopefully get over my brain's tendency to Compare Everything#i have like 3 vague sets of ocs (one less vague than the others ive posted one of the characters from that on my main art blog before sjdks#these two are from the next less vague set there is a plot premise and some side characters too. shdks#i thought abt them a couple months ago but then i watched strictly ballroom w sophie n i was reminded of them again#anyway im not good at coming up w fully fleshed out stories i just like to doodle ppl n think of random connected scenarios sometimes sdjk#i did a mini free online life drawing course in the break n i tried to apply what i learnt here.... i will keep practising when i can.....#well. if u read all the way to the end. hello :) KJASKA#im going to shower....
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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gornackkkkkkkk 😭😭😭
thank you uvu
EVERYONE CAN MAKE ART DIPSHIT, IT CAME FREE WITH UR FUCKING XBOX !!!!!
But if writing is the art ur comfortable in, I am happy for u :>
#you dont even wanna see what i was making a year ago#i didnt color i was scared of rendering#i thought id be ass forever#and im not the best. not to my standards#but i can appreciate that i like so so much art. it would simply be impossible to try to meet my standard on everything#ur writing is so so delicious and i take a lot of joy in seeing u create#but do NOT feel like theres things you can never do#u simply have not learned yet:>#but writing is an art also. and ur fuckin excelling. not that theres a spectrum to this kind of thing#gornack ask tag#gornack lucky tag
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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↖️ *guy that is having such a normal one right now* *guy that totally isn't fucking losing it* *guy that surely isn't about to explode into a million pieces with no idea how to put itself back together this time*
#gamer txt.#i cant i can do this i xant its too hard its too hard#zo yous know that post i made a bit ago? how o said i was fuvking desperate and hanging on by a thread?#well unsurprisingly as it turns out the sevonf ppl extended help i closed mysf back off and started lying again. who couldve daw that coming#ive vroken down plenty of times over the years but ibe always got back up ive bever had a 'i cant do it this time' moment#well i mean. until now#i just cant i cant do it it all hurts so much i cant enjoy anything i dread everutbing theres nothing theres fucking nkthing#it hurts all the time and i xant do anything about oy because no one in this house gives a shit#and i ca t do anything becayse eberyone online is do easy to ignore so easy to lie to#ive never veen this bad before ibe never dreaded life like this#i really dony know if i can xome back fron this#ya know on the 24th i would've been 3 years clean. i relapsed about a 2 months ago i wanna say? im really close to doing ot again#but i dont know if i wkuld stop. nor when i isuallu do anyeay i think i would keep going past what i know i could take#it would be stupid#no one gere would nhtive anything wrong until ot was too late id hust be making the worst mistake of my life#but despiye that. despite everything its so tempting. just for the chance that someone might notice#that someone might actuallu acknowledge theres sometjing wrong with and gove a fuck about me#i know this fanily. i know how they work. i know how they treated my xousin the last 2 tjmes she tried to off herself#but one of them would care right sureky? even just kne#i need someone yo see me to actually fucking see me and not all the walls ibe set up#someone to recognise that im in no state to take care of myself and never has been#something that will fight me when i obviously lie#but theres no way for me to get that#im not stupid enough to risk myself and um too much of a coward to call out in any other way#what the duck an i meant to do?#im a wreck thats too scared to tell anyone#ive been theoen into the middle of the ocean and the water is the strongest ots ever been#and there is the vague imsge of a life boat off in the distance but its too far and ny arm hurt too much to swim#even if i did make my arms hurt too much to climb aboard and theres no one on it to help me up either#so i just have to float here because at least drowning is less shameful than yaving made it to safety and been too weak to grasp it
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i forgot there even was amovie about the torture + death of Sylvia Likens until now cuz im reading Elliott Page's memoir and like. what on earth possessed someone to make a movie out of that, really. why would anyone want to watch that.
#i dont want to necessarily pass the judgement that it's Wrong to make a movie about a tragedy like this but#idk. personally not only does it seem unbearable to watch but im uncomfortable w the very idea of dramaticizing it#like is that entertrainment? is that art? a girl suffered as bad as anyone could ever suffer and now u wanna see that reenacted?#and according to Elliott they toned it down from reality too. like what happened to her was worse than what could b shown in theaters#and what ur supposed to watch that? feel like ''wow that was horrible'' but from a safe distance so it's not quite real.#so u can be titillated by the knowledge of how evil people can be.#the thing is that her story is WORTH sharing but it's because its yet another example#of how little rights children have had historically. and how abuse of children has been accepted in a hierarchical society.#but like you could do a documentary abt it. without reenacting her misery.#sorry im bring ing up discourse abt a movie made in 2007 lmao but god even thinking abt Sylvia is unbearable to me#just reading the wikipedia page years ago was a horror i cant forget.#-_-
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Related to the discussion about commenting on older fics. I personally like it when people comment on older fics cus it also reminds me that that fic exists and gives me the chance to reread it divorced from the original stress of writing it, that allows me to remember why I wrote it for myself in the first place
#ace writes sometimes#Comments#i cant always enjoy the story im writing at the time of writing cus im still very much in the writing mindset where im thinking about plot#and editing that its just not the same like the picture of embroidery where you can see on frayed stitching at the back without getting#to enjoy the picture it actually makes on the front. i can see the strings#got a comment on one of my dxr fic marathon works so now im going through unread comments in my inbox and doing a lil rereading to#contextualise theyre responses and honestly yeah im glad i wrote the stories cus theyre what i wanna see and i dont usually get the chance#to enjoy that element because i dont go through my ao3 and i forget which fics i even have so its nice to be reminded of fics from months#and years ago particularly in the context of a reader saying 'hey i liked this!' ya know?
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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#think my feelings'll have to come to an end soon#but idk why im so reluctant to do so..what im still holding on to..#idk man#we are friends!! real good ones at that#and a year ago i never would have imagined!!#but ithink to me its clear from her end that it was never anything more than that for her#even if sometimes for me i hoped and hoped#cant seem to let go of that hope completely#even though im thankful in so many ways like#i cant seem to convince myself right now this is enough#im like#being mentally not ill is so hard too cuz#i want to be like 'oh ofc it makes sense shes not interested in me who would be'#and its so easy to think that#and have that be the calming thought that shuts down delusion#its so much harder for me to say shes not into u but thats okay there might be someone else in the future#what that implies i have absolutely no fucking idea#i dont wanna do dating apps yall like#everything abt it feels so unappealing#i actually genuinely wanna go down the friends to lovers route but god is it so painful.#and seeing how successful ive been in making friends thus far uhh...#finding someone else to kinda even start being attached to that isnt her in a non platonic sense is hard#like w her the feelings too are just very deep#there are casual crush moments here and there for sure i think but nothing thats quite felt like this#and it kinda sucks lol#how are you supposed to find someone#i also wanna. be okay with. not finding someone#and god for the longest time in my life i was okay with that but now im not and its so unfamiliar and idk how to reconcile it#honestly i wanna be someones go to person#but no one wants to be that for me i think so ive been trying to become that person for myself but
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movies | matt sturniolo
contents: established relationship; handjob (m receiving); boob sucking/nipple play (f receiving); semi-public; sub!matt
notes: hello my darlings!!! SUB MATT IS BACK!!! nothing much to tell about this one, it's super short and super simple, just jerking him off at the movies lmao. not proofread but hope you enjoy anyways! thank you for almost 1,7K i dont deserve all of this love, yall are just fantastic.
- ♡ -
when matt and i first started dating, the movie theater was our favorite place. it was dark, comfortable, and no one would disturb us. as we grew into our relationship, date nights were no longer a priority, but we both knew how much we missed it. the innocence, the butterflies in my stomach, the nervousness about holding his hand, the giggly kisses and the awkward confessions.
“are we really doing this again?” matt asked me with the biggest smile on his face, adjusting his sweater. i nodded, glad that i was able to convince him to go out.
“we want… whatever’s next” he said to the cashier as he interlocked his fingers with mine, raising his free hand to his pockets, looking for his wallet. “yeah, this one” he nodded and grabbed the tickets, leading us to our assigned seats.
- ♡ -
i didn’t know how long it had been since the movie started. i would often lose myself on matt’s blue eyes, his skin reflecting the red colors of the big screen, his poorly done beard emphasizing his sharp features. i couldn’t resist placing a few kisses on his jaw, receiving chuckles and a squeeze on my hand, almost as if he was warning me to behave because he was actually interested in whatever we were watching.
until the scenery changed. the lights turned warmer, the music slower and suddenly it was hard to breathe. i felt my chest raising on its own as the sensual atmosphere took over the room, matt’s grip on my hands tightening, silently asking me to take my eyes off of him and pay attention to the erotic scene in front of me.
we didn’t expect such an explicit act. the actress had removed her bra, flashing her bare breasts to the few people at the movie theater. matt’s mouth fell open in surprise and i audibly gasped, quickly raising my palm to cover my sudden noise.
both of us turned our heads to each other, widening our eyes as we tried to hold back our laughs. “i promise i’m not looking” matt joked, pretending to block his view.
“you can look” i giggled, adjusting myself on the chair and getting closer to matt, letting my hand rest on his thigh. “i know how much you like boobs”
“well” he stopped for a second. “you’re right, but i’d rather look at yours” matt checked me out from head to toe, a grin appearing on his face as if i was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.
i decided to be bold. my free hand moved to the hem of my sweater, pulling the cloth upwards and revealing just a bit of skin - enough to get him excited. i mentally thanked him for always choosing the back row, giving us privacy to our heated makeout sessions back then.
“please?” matt whispered, his digits reaching for my exposed tummy. “wanna see your boobs, please”.
it was definitely risky, but i couldn’t resist his pleading blue eyes, the way his top teeth bit his bottom lip, how his fingers caressed my belly. what seemed like nothing to others was already too much for us, along with the adrenaline of doing the same silly things we did years ago as teenagers in love. i had blew him at that same seat several times, but it was different now. as if we weren’t supposed to be acting that way. and it felt too fucking good to ignore.
i finally gave in, pulling my sweater and revealing my breasts. i wasn’t wearing a bra, making this way easier for matt, who immediately shoved his face in between them, muffling a “thank you” i was only able to hear because it was a habit. he would always thank me for anything i gave, even my boobs.
his beard tickled my skin as he moved downwards, resting his cheek just above my left tit. he wasn’t going to speak, too busy sticking his tongue out to tease my nipple before latching his lips around it. matt sucked so hard i left out a sigh, bringing my fingers to his hair, caressing his brown locks as i whispered how much of a good boy he was, which certainly didn’t help his impatient self. matt squirmed around on his chair, trying to get comfortable and ignore the growing tent inside his pants.
“need help, baby?” i asked, brushing my digits over his boner. matt nodded desperately, not letting go of boobs until i wrapped my knuckles around his covered length, making him gasp from the sudden contact. “what’s got you like that, hm? was it the movie or me?”
“you” he said, hiding his face on the crook of my neck. “always you”.
“such a good boy for me” i praised, receiving a muffled whine in response. “nuh uh, keep it down. you don’t want them to hear us, do you?” matt denied with his head, jointing his hips forward, silently asking for me to actually jerk him off. i knew it had hit him too. the nostalgia, the excitement, the risk of doing something we shouldn’t.
matt dragged his lips across my chest as i finally got a grip of his cock, placing my hand inside his pants and slowly pumping his shaft. he placed his tongue on my nipple once again, sucking it at the same pace i would stroke him. with long minutes of a lazy and steady handjob, matt was far gone — he couldn’t care less about the movie, frantically chasing for his orgasm.
i could feel his chest panting as i heard the heavy sighs coming from the back of his throat. matt was trying so hard to stay quiet and yet, he failed, letting out a cracked moan when i brought my thumb to his leaking tip, rubbing his slit as i tightened the grip on his throbbing cock.
“cum” he whispered to me, not opening his eyes. i pretended i didn’t hear it, my eyes glued to the big screen in front of me. “please, wan’ cum” matt spoke again, replacing the lips on my boobs with his hands, massaging my flesh.
he wasn’t getting what he wanted — my attention and permission. “princess, please” he pleaded, now covering my neck in kisses as he mimicked on my nipples the same movements i did on his slit. i savored the moment for a bit, hanging my mouth open as his kisses turned into love bites.
“hold it” i said, loosening my fist. matt whined at the loss of contact, throwing his head back in frustration. “you look so pathetic, baby” i cooed, running my fingers through his hair before cupping his cheeks. he looked so, so fucked out. “such a needy boy, aren’t you?”
“no” he pouted, blue eyes covered in desperation. “i’m good, i promise i’m your good boy!” matt said, moving his hips upwards, trying to get some relief to his aching cock.
“you’re gonna have to wait until a really loud scene comes up” i told him. “we don’t want anyone to hear this good boy cumming all over himself hm?” i asked with faux sympathy, feeling his length twitching against my hand. he wasn’t gonna be able to hold much longer.
“boobs” matt practically begged. “i will keep my mouth on them and i won’t make any noises” he said, more to himself than to me.
“yeah? you wanna cum sucking my boobs?” i teased matt, who vigorously nodded while adjusting himself one last time. he spread his legs open, waiting for my cue. “go ahead” i encouraged him and he immediately latched his lips around my nipple again, muffling his needy sounds as i jerked him off, my fingers pumping his swollen length rapidly enough for matt to cum seconds later.
matt’s whines turned to whimpers as he reached his high, releasing the sticky spurt over my hand. i couldn’t see it, but i knew the inside of his pants looked like a mess. he panted heavily as he slowly came back from his orgasm, thighs still trembling after holding it for so long.
i kissed the top of his head as i finally removed my palm from him, raising it near my mouth and licking his cum. “don’t do this to me” he said as he watched me, pulling my sweater down. “i’m gonna get hard again”
“good thing we have the whole movie left” i smirked before sealing our lips together in a passionate, hungry kiss.
after all these years, we were still the same kids who started dating at the back row of the movie theater.
- ♡ -
taglist (drop a 🌸!): @thepubeburgler @mommykinks4matt @pearlzier @mattsfavbitchhh @her-favorite @bugeyedgrl @sturncakez @riowritesitall @joemamaaa42069 @mattsturnswife @sturnsmia @sturnthepot @mattscoquette @conspiracy-ash @ilovemattsturn @lizzymacdonald06 @blahbel668 @fratbrochrisgf @bagsbyclair0 @sturnobsessedwh0re @cayleeuhithinknot @sturniolo04 @1c3b4th @mattsfavbigtitties @bellassturniolo @sturnsxplr-25
i haven’t updated this in a while so if if you want to get in/out let me know! mwah!
- ♡ -
#matthew sturniolo#matthew sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matt x reader#matt x y/n#sub!matt#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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This is the least depressed I have felt in years
#i think like maybe once every couple of weeks I’ll have an evening where I’m feeling down but I can still manage it pretty well#like it’s just sort of like ‘damn i hate feeling this way but im gonna do everything i can to make myself feel better’#and then make myself some food and do things to occupy my mind#I am out here living life#living life is a skill you have to cultivate which SUCKS but once you figure it out…#I didn’t understand so many things growing up that I just Get now#going to the shops by yourself doing what you want#legitimately did not know what i wanted to do#did not know what i liked or disliked#i was indifferent to everything#i dont understand how to be indifferent to everything now but i remember what it was like#im happy. im healthy. i honestly dont want to die anymore.#Legitimately did not see myself making it to 28 years old like 6 months ago and here i am with a completely new outlook on life#i survived so many situations. i put myself thru so many scenarios just hoping it would take me away but i lived anyway and im happy 4 that#I met people that felt the same way I did and I fought tooth and nail to save them even if only for that night#i cared so deeply for complete strangers. I feel like maybe I was trying to save myself thru them#my determination to prevent others from doing the things id been doing because deep down i knew it was wrong#who do we have if not eachother?#‘hell is real’ has replaced ‘i wanna kms’ as the phrase i constantly repeat to myself. I cant stop saying it like i dont have a choice#when im with others tho j find myself saying ‘what a good day’ with the same amount of unintentional force#i say it with much more intent and consciousness when i am alone#because so many days are good day. 13/14 of days are good days im noticing#even the days where i feel down at the end are good days. My feeling sad/anxious/depressed doesnt mean i had a bad day. even if it feels bad#i love my friends so much#and i love meeting so many people#i love meeting new people all the time even if i dont remember them#i want to remember them because so many people are so nice and i love those connections#what a good day today was. what a damn good day. Everything is okay.#Special thank you to my roommates and to my former roommates for being my biggest supporters and for saving my life
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soo…yeah👉👈
#✨blazing gush#i feel extra loving and just maybe its him maybe its someone else#idk just i had this guy on my mind once in a while and…I smile lots when I see him and go ‘awww’ and my heart beats like when you first feel#for your f/o but this is just…idk not romantic but crush wise#i think its a little crush#and the feel is gone when I dont see him but I saw him today and Im…crushing#and he is so not my type but..the soft expressions and hidden carrying stuff just makes me swoon#and he likes a girl and they have couple vibes but this doesnt brother at all than with yus and a🔑#this ship is actual cute and well built#and uhm ‘he’ makes me think more that my apperance is cute and beautiful#with yusei I had and still have times Im sure if Im good enough cause of what the series wanna push#it doesnt say I dont love Yusei less but its nice to have this kind of feeling for once#a feeling Im pretty and not to have to cheer myself up by pushing myself to make concepts of us cause faithship artworks are showing up#everywhere I look even I blocked lots they keep coming like those grass stuff idk how to call it in english#‘he’ makes me relax….maybe should give him a name#I had this situation two years ago too with ‘captain cutie or cappie’ idk how I called but that fainted away#hmmm bullfinch thats what I gonna call him
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"Tryna feel it like a compliment? It's feeling like the opposite" | LN4
Parings: Lando Norris x reader.
Summary: you go to a mutual friend's birthday party. You and Lando broke up a few months ago. He has a new girl and she looks nothing like you.
PART 2 -> "SUE ME"
Word count: +1,7k.
Now playing: "Opposite" by Sabrina Carpenter.
Warnings: angst. Not a native english speaker so there could be errors. Not proofread.
a/n: hey again :3 Dont forget to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
“Are you sure you’re ready to go y/n? We can stay otherwise. No pressure my love” your best friend said lovingly to you.
The both of you were invited to a friend’s birthday party. Both of you are already dressed up and beautiful. The thing was that Lando was also going to the party too. And that was nerve breaking for you.
You haven’t seen Lando in months. Exactly 5 months since you both decided to end the 2 year relationship you’ve built. It was the worst break up you’ve ever gone through. And you’re not even over him yet. And to be honest it was more his devotion than yours. That hurt like hell.
He said he didn’t love you anymore and there was no point in pushing something that was already off. You still have nightmares of him saying that. Nothing hurt you more than that moment. Those words. His lips said it. His eyes looked straight through you - seeing you breaking as each letter he pronounced.
You didn’t think you were ready to see him again. But at the same time you needed to see him. It was sort of a test you wanted to put yourself through. A self destructive one. You knew it was gonna be touchy but you also wished you could reconnect.
You nodded to your bestie. “I wanna go. If something goes wrong I’ll pay the taxi. Don’t worry” you said confidently. Even though you wanted to throw up already because of the anxiety you were feeling. Your friend giggled a little. She gave you a confidence hug.
“You look incredible. If I were Lando I would choke with my drink and die” she joked to make you laugh. You did a little. But hearing his name shattered you inside. She took your hand que got out of her house.
The Uber drove fastly to the party. It was a busy London night but the party was going to be on the outsides of the city. Which in this case didn't help getting that fast to the party. But it was what it was. The two of you paid the Uber in cash and got out of the car.
The first people receiving you both at the party were clearly already drunk. You don’t see Lando yet and that made you think that maybe he didn’t come. Just the thought of it made you feel calmer. You followed your friend to where George and Carmen, his girlfriend, were dancing with the group of friends. even Lewis Hamilton was there. You say hi to everyone with a big smile and hugged all of them. You were starting to feel happy that Lando didn’t come. Or at least you wanted to convince yourself of that.
You didn't remember how many hours have passed since you got to the party and started drinking. You were dancing in the middle of the dance floor with an unknown guy you met on the bar. Everything was fine until you saw right behind the guy what you didn’t expect nor you didn’t want to believe you saw.
It was Lando. With another girl. Kissing. Like crazy.
You felt your heart skip a bit. Even you felt breathless. You stopped dancing in shock processing the view you had.
Your heart was shattering every second that passed by looking at him with another girl.
She looked nothing like you. Blonde shiny hair. Flawless face with big lips. You just couldn’t take it.
All the times he said you were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. He used to say that your looks didn’t compare to anyone. Yet there he was with the opposite of you. You felt so little in that room full of people. You thought the world was crumbling down while you saw him laughing with her. He even blushed nervously just how you made him feel back then.
You couldn’t move. You didn’t know how to continue your life properly. You were still so in love with him. He was the love of your life. You loved every single detail of him. You couldn’t stop dreaming of his eyes or about his laugh. You dream of being happily ever after with him. When you were together you thought you were end game. Nothing could break you. But then he stopped loving you.
He didn’t love you anymore.
Now he loves this girl.
Has he ever loved you? Did he tell the truth? Was he honest?
You woke from the trance because your friend came to rescue you with Carmen. They try to talk to you to check on you but in that instant you find Lando’s eyes looking straight to you. His smile disappeared when he saw you. And when that happened you just wanted to cry really bad. You tried to hold it together but you couldn’t. You couldn’t stare at him anymore. You couldn’t bear the pain you were feeling now.
You sprinted straight to the bathroom followed by your best friend and Carmen. You didn’t want to cause a scene but you couldn’t control your anxiety. You wanted to stop existen right there and then. You wanted to disappear. You felt ashamed.
How could you think he would love to be back with you? To the life you had together?
You were never the love of his life nor the woman of his dreams.
He looked happy, something you now know you couldn’t do.
Your friend tried to calm you down but you were just a waterfall of tears. Carmen tried to talk to you to make you feel better but you couldn’t listen. You just listen to all the negative thoughts that were eating you alive.
He stayed with you just to find someone who is the opposite to you. You couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was going on and on in your head making the scar grow bigger and bigger.
When you were back to reality you just hugged your best friend. You needed her. She knew all of your feelings. She has been there with you all along. Along with all of the pain you felt since Lando walked away. You have grieved your future self since then. You wanted a life with Lando. A life that now didn’t exist and would never exist.
After a few minutes you could calm yourself down. Carmen and your friend fixed your makeup and tried to make you feel better. But you just wanted to go home.
“I’ll call an Uber. I need to go home. I can’t stay” I said to my friend and she nodded.
“Of course. Don’t wanna see you like this. Everything it’s going to be okay. I’ll call it” she said softly and stroked your hair.
You all got out of the bathroom and Carmen helped to pick your stuff up. Your friend was trying to get an Uber. You were so nervous to be out again at the party and seeing him again. So Carmen suggested you go outside while your friend finds an Uber who accepts to take you home. You agreed and went outside.
Out there you found a bench available so you sat there and started scrolling your Twitter on your phone. After a while you felt someone sitting next to you. When you looked up it was Lando. You felt terrible. He smiled a little.
“Hey… you okay?” He asked quietly. He looked nervous. You two were. The tension was high between you both. You feel uncomfortable. You’ve never felt like that with him around before. That made your heart break again. You swallow hard.
“Yeah…” you said shortly. He nodded looking around avoiding your sight. You breathe heavily. He licked his lips.
“You look beautiful” he said, finally looking at you. You just stared at the ground. Was he for real? He is with another girl looking so different and he has the audacity to call me beautiful? You felt angry. You were so hurt and he was making it worse.
You looked at him with no facial expressions. “How can you say that to me when you’re dating her?” The words left your mouth without thought. But you didn’t feel bad about it. His face showed how surprised he felt by your question. “Don’t look at me like that, Lando. What’s your intention coming here and calling me beautiful when you already have another girl and she looks the opposite to me? Go fuck yourself. You really don’t care about me. You never did. You wouldn’t be here if you would” you were furious. so hurt. You needed to scream at him but controlled your tone just because the situation it’s not where that should happen. His eyes went wide.
“Y/n I don’t know what you are talking about! Yes I’m dating another girl so? You are beautiful to me I just wanted to talk to you” he said defensively. You rolled your eyes and stood up in front of him.
“I hate you. You are dead to me. What do you want to know about me? That I’m miserable since you said you didn’t love me anymore so you can be proud of yourself for breaking my heart? Or you wanted to pretend ya never happened? Go fuck yourself. My friend was right about you. You’re a fucking player. I should’ve listened to them. So I wouldn’t be this fucking broken. Hope you’re happy Lando.” You said having enough of this. You felt very offended by his attempt of you didn’t know what. When you stormed out you bumped into his new girl and spilled her drink all over her shiny silver dress.
“Sorry not sorry” you said to her not caring a fuck about her or her dress or her night. He replaced you so easily. You were blinded by hatred and pain. She told you something but you didn’t hear. You took your best friend and got her out of the party too.
“What happened?” She asked worried, finally finding an Uber who accepted to pick you both up. You sigh so stressed. Adrenaline was pushing hard on your veins.
“Lando talked to me and I just told him to fuck off” you said even surprising yourself for doing such thing.
“Oh shit” your best friend said.
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I really wanted Lando to win COTA 😭. Franco was so good though - love him!!!
Hope you liked it 💌 if you ideas my inbox is open so leave your requests!
#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x lando norris#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz x female reader
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rapper!chris x singer!reader hcs
a/n: lowkey a collab with @bambi-slxt bc of all the headcanons she sent me LMAOO thank u sweets!! <3
SFW
chri$ is definitely one of the more "soft" rappers. everyone knows that hes a lovesick puppy for you. he doesnt have ONE line including the words "my bitch". instead he replaces them with "my girl" OR "my wife" :((
i think he would 100% make an album fully dedicated to you. kinda like tyler the creator's "call me if you get lost" in a way. for example, in the song "HEAVEN TO ME", tyler explains his dreams. chris would rap about all of the things he wants to do with you and how he sees you in his life forever
he has many features on peace on the beach with my peach since its partially about your guys' sweet relationship! theres moments in the record where there are beautiful beats paired with your heavenly vocals and cute voice cracks while chri$ is dropping barssss (ill make a post ab lyrics i think he'd add)
sososososo supportive of your creative journey. he was with you as you wrote and planned out your extremely personal debut. he even helped out at the studio :c
but then you started adventuring some time after your 2nd-3rd album. you started experimenting with different genres/styles. you created storylines and visuals along with your music.
out of the two of you, chri$ is definitely more famous. anyhow, he got invited to the met gala and had u has his plus one obviously, where you both looked drop dead gorgeous!! i literally cannot see him wearing a basic ass suit and tie to the met. he has to be on your level and match your uniqueness which make you two stand out so much!
when you both got up the steps, he was being interviewed by emma chamberlin, who was also a fan of his. she asked about the creative process of his newly released album and he totallyy put you in the spotlight, saying "yn helped me a lott honestly. she's... literally a genius." he grins, turning to you while keeping his hand on your waist.
you guys like toying with the paparazzi when they're bothering you. you goofballs make silly faces right in the cameras so they back off
one time when you were being interviewed, your sweet boy wrapped his arms around your waist as he listened to you talk. you were a little nervous and stuttered a bit, but chris consoled you by rubbing small circles into your waist and whispering a gentle "it's okay baby" to your ear.
you fangirl on stage when you catch your boyfriend's eyes in the front row. sometimes you entirely stop what you're singing just to giggle and squeal "hiiii honey!!" while twirling your hair like a little girl. the audience cheers with screams when they realize chris is with them in the crowd-- but feels like its only you two in the stadium when he blows you a kiss (some corny shit he never thought he'd do) and mouth the words "i love you".
for the holidays, u two visit homeless shelters and childrens hospitals and perform for everybody <3
imagine just hanging out at the studio with him and your guys' friends. he's manspreading on a leather couch while massaging your feet resting in his lap as you write lyrics in your lap, your friends helping you out as you do.
you knew that somewhere down the line there was going to be some kind of beef. a popular rapper decided to call out chris for something he did years ago as a literal child. you both ignore it until he sends out a tweet about you. something around, "nd his bitch bad asf id hit fs but she a fuckin weirdass childish mf"
you ignore the fact he called u a "weirdass childish mf", you cant care less, many people dont vibe with ur ideas and thats okay!
u do however care about how his girlfriend would react to seeing him wanting to fuck you. and you'd met her before too, she was a little snobbish, but respectful nonetheless. you joked to your boyfriend about dropping your own diss track on him, but he actually seem intrigued. you shut it down almost immediately though, you didn't wanna make something small such a big deal
but at the next big event you guys went to, you found the rapper's girlfriend and showed her his tweet. she thanked you with a furious scowl on her face before she ran off and slapped the shit out of him in front of everybody
chris gets a custom made $5k chain that has ur name and little details that remind him of u around it :((
NSFW
speaking of that chain, he wears it whenever he pounds into you so you'll be reminded of how he's yours.
chris loves ur vocals so much on stage! he finds them beautiful, but he loves them even more in bed.
"cmon mama lemme hear that pretty voice"
in fact, you two created a song just to have playing in the background while you two get intimate
chris audio recorded him eating u out once and you saying, "oh, fuck chris, it's so good!" and he decided to use that as an adlib in his favorite songs OR disses he wrote about someone being a jerk to u
watching chris perform did things to you. seeing him sweat, brushing his gorgeous hair out of his face, putting in so much energy into his performance... it's intoxicating! sometimes you wish he'd just drop the mic, pull you onstage, and make love to you infront of the world.
he talks about marrying you while he's balls deep inside of your wet cunt :( saying how he wants to drop a humongous bag on your ring, give you the wedding of your dreams, and how he desperately wants to hear "missus sturniolo" from others' mouths
chris will totally pop up behind stage after a show and guide you to your dressing room not so subtly. you apologize to your manager before rushing to your private room like a giddy teenager. "wanna see her sweetheart, she wet for me righ' now? oh, there she is.." he coos as he bends down to his knees right in front of your pussy when you pull down your pretty pink stage costume.
@leah-loves-lilies @1everythingmustgo @star-sturn @junnniiieee07 @mattsneezing @freshloveee@freshsturns@emma4eva @r6diosturns @matthasmywholeheart @donthugmeimhot @blahbel668 @chrissturnsss @joanofarcily @mattscoquette @slutsturn @sturnioloremarker @ashley9282828 @jnkvivi @sturncakez @lanasturn @riasturns @st7rnioioss @strnlxlqve @starlace111 @mattsfavbigtitties @stvrlighht
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#𐔌 ♡ ˚₊ ⭐🎀 singer!reader ₊˚ ⊹#singer!reader x chris sturniolo#singer reader x chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#the sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo x yn#chris sturniolo x y/n#chris sturniolo x girly reader#chris sturniolo hcs#chris sturniolo headcanons
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