#you don't know how much googling I had to do so if it's wrong I'm sorrrryyyyy
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scariusaquarius · 2 days ago
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rehab. 3.
Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader
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Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.
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A/n: I had someone on Ao3 ask me about how often this will get updated and my answer is that I don't know. My IRL can be pretty unpredictable and I do deal with depression on a daily basis. I'm going to do my best to update this while still working on my Leon Kennedy fic, Unlikely Salvation! Please do bear with me as I try to figure out where I want this story to go!
This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!
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Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares
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Author: ScariusAquarius
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rehab masterlist. chapter 1 / chapter 2
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The lab was hustling with scientists, the Wakandan sunrise filtering through the enormous windows with an intensity that made Bucky eyes hurt as he stood by the cryostasis pod where the Winter Soldier would soon be housed.
The whole trek to the lab had been uneventful: not once did the soldier fight back. It seemed that the failure to complete her mysterious mission had caused her to shut down, and Bucky was tense as she was strapped down with multiple magnetic cuffs like the ones he and Steve used back in the quinjet.
Even with the super soldier serum coursing through her veins and whatever other enhancements she might naturally have or that HYDRA might have given her would prove useless. She was strapped down nice and tight.
There was a machine hovering over her knee, the tissue and bone beneath crunching and grinding as it was fusing back together, her expression unchanging despite her kneecap and patella being exposed. The air was beginning to smell of singed flesh and hair, and Bucky felt slightly nauseous.
Bucky hated knowing how much damage his arm could inflict; how unforgiving his grip was and how hard it was to regulate the strength at times so he would break yet another glass just by holding it and trying to take a drink.
And it had been so easy to crush her flesh like it was nothing.
"Howard? Howard, oh god...oh god, Anthony...!"
Bucky clenched his jaw, swallowing harshly as Maria Stark's voice whispered to him, and he was broken out of his trance by Shuri announcing.
"Once we are finished with her knee, I would like to begin deconstructing her mind. If efforts are fruitless, I would like for you to activate her again if possible. We might be able to figure out what her previous orders were and her intentions, history, anything that would prove useful to the eradication of HYDRA."
Steve frowned, asking as T'Challa simply stayed quiet, observing the Winter Soldier as she sat complacent and quiet; seemingly not hearing a word that they were saying.
"Are you sure that's a good idea? What if it doesn't work?"
Shuri replied confidently, flicking her eyes over to Steve before gesturing towards Bucky with a nod of her head.
"We will have to reset completely and start over. Sergeant Barnes' rehabilitation was easy due to the flaws within his programming that HYDRA was unable to remedy. However, we do not know what improvements have been made to HYDRA's algorithm since then. It will be challenging to separate the core person that this woman was before her programming, but not impossible."
T'Challa then asked, raising an eyebrow at Shuri as she shined a light into the Winter Soldier's eyes, taking down notes and recording her vitals.
"What if you are unable to separate the identity from the programming?"
Shuri sighed deeply, shrugging.
"She will have to be built from the ground up. This woman will be like a completely clean slate down to a new name if we are unable to figure out who she was before. I am already running the best biometric identification programs within our arsenal to figure out who she could have been. I would assume that Stark is also doing so?"
Steve nodded, replying as he watched the soldier closely as her eyes inconspicuously flicked to a scientist that readying a syringe.
"Yes, he's also got Nat looking through the database that we downloaded and coursing through any previous databanks we obtained from previous HYDRA raids."
Shuri then turned to Bucky, making him quirk an eyebrow up slightly as she regarded him with a raised brow.
"What is your take on this, Sergeant Barnes?"
All eyes were on him, and Bucky sighed slightly he stared down the soldier, watching the way her brow began to tense slightly the closer the scientist got. The second the syringe touched her skin, the soldier began to freak out.
Due to the cuffs restricting her movement, she resorted to smacking her back against the chair over and over, hissing and yelling loudly as the scientist jolted and stumbled back. T'Challa immediately shoved her down, Shuri exclaiming profanities as she snatched the syringe from the scientist and shoved it into the soldier's neck.
The soldier hissed and yanked her neck away, breaking the needle, and Shuri groaned, gesturing with her hands wildly.
"Really? Now I'm going to have to dig that out. You make things harder for yourself!"
Okoye quipped, her spear pointing towards the soldier as Steve and Bucky stood tensed and ready should the Soldier somehow get out of her binds.
"How primitive! She is like a wild animal!"
The sedative began to kick in, the woman's bucking gradually stopping, and she went limp within the chair, head rolling to the side as her eyes rolled into the back of her skull. Bucky's heart was racing slightly with adrenaline, and Steve observed.
"Seems like she knew what the syringe meant."
T'Challa frowned deeply, leaning back and brushing his hands off slightly as he glanced back at Steve.
"An important but grave detail: she must be remembering...or perhaps, it is a recent memory."
Shuri plucked the broken needle from the soldier's neck, humming.
"I will take it as a good sign that there is at least someone beneath the rubble. I promise you, Mr. Rogers, that I will do my best to find her."
Steve nodded before clapping Bucky on the shoulder.
"You going to be alright?"
Bucky glanced over at Steve, muttering truthfully.
"I don't want to do this, but I'm only doing it for you. I'm worried that she is going to somehow lead HYDRA to me and it's gonna be a shit-show all over again."
Steve was firm, declaring quietly.
"You know I wouldn't let that happen. I'd have to miss that big head of yours again."
"You're a goddamn punk, you know that?"
Bucky couldn't keep the smile from gracing the corners of his lips, and Steve smiled at him softly before hugging him firmly and backing away.
"Alright, I'm going to leave you to it. I'll check in periodically; let you all know what we find on our side of the world."
T'Challa hummed, walking towards Steve.
"I will accompany you. I would like to discuss some things before your departure."
Steve nodded, and the two men walked out of Shuri's lab. Bucky turned back around, making a slight face as Shuri cut away pieces of the woman's clothing, revealing a black and tight-fitting compression camisole.
There were numerous scars and marks all over her body, some jagged and unforgiving while others were clean and precise. Shuri hummed softly, muttering as her fingers grazed a jagged scar that ran beneath the woman's neck.
"The things this woman must have been through...HYDRA is truly despicable."
Bucky couldn't speak. Hell, he couldn't even think outside of the boiling hatred and rage that was beginning to consume him at the sight of the gruesome scars that covered her upper body. Bucky could only assume that it got worse beneath her uncut clothing, and he had to bite his tongue as hard as he could.
Whip scars, burn marks, mutilated flesh that never regenerated, her body was a canvas; a horrendous painting that HYDRA had taken delight in decorating. This was more than just punishment, it was a warning.
A warning that disobedience will not be tolerated.
How many times did they slash her throat for the scar to become so prominent? How many times did they burn her skin to the point that the serum couldn't work to regenerate? How often did they beat and prod and jab and shoot and stab at her until she was too weak to fight back?
In a morbid way, Bucky took it as a sign that despite her being activated and still dangerous, her history of resistance let HYDRA know that the person that used to be there still existed.
There was someone still underneath the rubble, as Shuri had put it, and Bucky hoped that Shuri could pull her out.
But even so, would it help? Would it be right to let this woman have to live with the memories and nightmares of what had happened to her? Was it right to subject her mind to the torture of HYDRA even after being rescued?
Was it right to try despite knowing how traumatized and desolated the woman was going to be once she was free? Hell, there were times were Bucky could still smell the scent of the cologne his Handler wore when punishing Bucky, and now Bucky couldn't stand to smell the scent without being pushed into a panic.
"Don't worry, White Wolf. I am going to do what I can to help this woman."
"That's not what I'm worried about."
His voice was choked, cracking slightly as he rushed to respond, and Shuri tilted her head at him, asking Bucky with a curious gaze.
"Then what is it that plagues you?"
"I just...is it right to do this when she's gonna have to live with the memories and the nightmares?"
Bucky felt ashamed by the frown that crossed Shuri's face, but was slightly relieved to know that the disappointment that flashed within her eyes was not directed at him.
"I understand the concern, and I understand that it will not be easy for her...but that is why you are here. You have survived HYDRA and are free of the programming they worked hard to instill within your mind. With living proof that persistence yields peace, I truly think that she may become a person again...it will just take time and a lot of work."
Bucky nodded, and Shuri was quiet for a moment before she murmured.
"While it may not seem fair to save her...it is truly a tragedy to deny her the chance that HYDRA never gave her."
The words left a profoundly bitter taste within Bucky's mouth, and he could distinctly taste copper from him biting into his cheek too hard. Shaking his head, Bucky looked away from the woman as Shuri began to assess her further.
"Reactivating her will come with a risk. I would only be able to activate her, but I don't have the knowledge to deactivate, if that's even possible. When I was activated...the longer I was out of cryostasis and hadn't been wiped, the easier it was to resist the programming. I don't know if it will be the same for her."
"As I said: reactivation will allow us the ability to communicate with her. She has not been wiped, it would seem, so it is possible that this woman knows something."
Shuri grabbed a butterfly needle and a vial, putting on gloves and tying a tourniquet around the woman's arm so that she could find a vein. Once she found it, Shuri inserted the butterfly needle, taping it to the soldier's skin.
"I am now going to collect bloodwork to run DNA diagnostics and input the data into the biometric identification program to see if we may be able to identify her this way. I'm also going to do some testing to see what serum she might have been injected with to trace it back to the creator."
Bucky nodded and sat back, watching and listening intently as Shuri described what she was doing and what the programs did on a deeper, intellectual manner. While Bucky was listening and trying to absorb the information, he couldn't stop glancing over at the scars that lined the woman's body.
Horrific couldn't even describe it. It made him sick to his stomach. If Shuri noticed that Bucky was slightly distracted, she gracefully didn't comment on it. Instead, Shuri tried to distract him the best that she could while the machine she was operating was taking a scan of the woman's brain.
After a moment, Shuri hummed, a perplexed look on her face as she sauntered around the hologram of the woman's brain, tendrils of red seeming to pulse all over the organ, and Shuri's brows furrowed as she thought to herself. Bucky asked with an intrigued look on his face.
"What is that?"
"This is a digital recreation of the woman's brain as well as the areas most affected by HYDRA's programming."
Shuri looked proud as she began to move the hologram around, zooming in and out of different areas and lobes before breaking it down into layers.
"Thanks to the work that I did for you, I was able to develop an AI that was capable of identifying HYDRA's programming, as well as detect the intensity and depth that it runs. It gives possible solutions and suggestions on what to work on first...and tells me when something activates the program."
Shuri's voice seemed to lower slightly, side-eyeing him for a moment before she looked back at the hologram, but Bucky didn't notice. Bucky was floored, in awe at the ingenuity of the AI that he couldn't help but to whistle lowly.
"That's incredible, Shuri."
"Please, compared to her, you were like a walk in the park."
Shuri waved him off before she hummed, pointing to a area that was largely red within the hologram.
"However, unlike your programming, her programming is much more complex. There are multiple layers where the programming intertwines with core pieces and memories, which will make unraveling the ties difficult. There might be parts of her that will not be salvageable."
Bucky pursed his lips slightly, shaking his head as he replied gently.
"Like you said: from the ground and up if needed."
Shuri smiled widely at Bucky, her eyes crinkling as she teased gently, pointing at him.
"See, now you are beginning to understand."
Bucky rolled his eyes before he asked as Shuri began to work, a screen popping up and flashing slightly.
"So, what is that?"
"If we are going to salvage as much as we can of the core person she was before she became a Winter Soldier, we will have to analyze every piece of her psyche. Unfortunately, I cannot do much with HYDRA's program basically firewalling me. It is like they added some sort of encryption to her so that any attempt of undoing their work would be unsuccessful or too risky."
Bucky tilted his head, becoming slightly confused as he pointed to the red parts of the woman's brain.
"Is that why those areas are red like that?"
"Yes. If you look closely, it is almost as though these red areas are wrapping around the parts that are otherwise untouched by HYDRA's program. If we can get past the encryptions, we might be able to get through."
Bucky nodded along, crossing his arms before he glanced down at the woman, asking apprehensively.
"Are you going to make me activate her?"
"For now, no. I do not think that it will be necessary. All I need to do is bypass the encryptions, break them down, and then I will begin to root out the memories with the most significance to her."
Shuri spared Bucky a glance, relaying to him honestly.
"If possible, I would like to keep you from doing so because of the mental repercussions activating her will have. I will entrust the process to Okoye if activation is the only option we have left."
Bucky shook his head, murmuring to Shuri as he glanced down at the woman again as her face scrunched slightly.
"No, I'll do it...let's just hope that I don't have to."
Shuri became quiet, staring Bucky down for a moment before she turned away and suggested.
"Perhaps you should see the Captain off. Breaking through the encryption will take time, and I can tell that you are starting to become brain-dead listening to me."
Bucky chuckled before bowing his head slightly, shaking his head.
"I'd rather not upset your brother by leaving you with her by yourself."
Shuri made a face at him, the expression reminding him of Steve pre-serum.
"Do you think I am not capable of defending myself? This is my territory, white boy."
Bucky raised his hands in surrender, wincing slightly.
"I'm sorry, your highness, but I've been on the receiving end of your brother's foot."
Shuri barked out a laugh, and Okoye made her presence known by snorting while a couple of the Dora Milaje stood by the entrance to Shuri's lab.
"At least he knows what he would be up against. Do not worry, Sergeant Barnes, I will stand watch. The Captain is about to make his departure."
Bucky nodded before expressing his gratitude, nodding gently to Shuri.
"Thank you. I'll be back shortly."
Bucky turned and left quickly, his steps quick and urgent as he arrived outside. However, the quinjet was already flying away, making Bucky purse his lips. T'Challa's voice greeted him, making the man look over at the King as he spoke.
"You just missed him."
"He's always running off on me somehow, so I'm not entirely surprised."
T'Challa chuckled slightly, before he glanced over at Bucky.
"How are you feeling about all of this?"
Bucky glanced over at T'Challa, regarding him with an exhausted look before he turned back front, watching Steve leave again.
"I'm worried, honestly. There's so many things that could go wrong. What if HYDRA is trying to find me and was using her to do it? HYDRA must know that the Avengers have been raiding the old facilities that aren't in use anymore, so why not leave her to be found and taken in?"
T'Challa hummed, clasping his hands together as he replied.
"Let them try. They will not make it very far."
Bucky pursed his lips slightly before he murmured.
"It's...strange, honestly...seeing this from an outside perspective. I knew that this was serious, but I wasn't aware of how bad it actually was. Standing on the other side of the glass...it's almost poignant."
T'Challa nodded, replying with a hum.
"When my father was killed and I was under the assumption that it was you in Vienna, a deep hatred rooted within me for HYDRA. While I understand now that it was Zemo's schemes...that hatred for HYDRA has never wavered. Even now when knowing the dangers that lie beyond those doors, I still hope for peace."
Bucky was quiet, listening intently to T'Challa's words as the king spoke, his brown eyes downcast as he continued.
"Nobody deserves to be subjected to such horrific torture."
Bucky wasn't sure on how to respond. Instead, the man just nodded and took a moment to breathe before he settled, glancing over at T'Challa.
"You're right, and if we have to start from scratch, then I'm willing to help how I can...both with rehabilitating her and eradicating HYDRA once and for all."
T'Challa nodded quietly before turning to walk back towards the lab, suggesting over his shoulder.
"You should get some rest...and maybe put that on ice."
At the mention of the wound on his temple, it began to pulse, and Bucky just sighed.
"I'll sleep it off...and thank you for listening."
T'Challa didn't respond, but a smile graced the king's lips as he disappeared through the doors. Bucky's shoulders sagged slightly, and he rubbed his temple gently, wincing when he pressed down to hard.
He had to admit: that woman could give a mean right-hook.
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STORY NOTES: Bucky, T'Challa, Steve, and Shuri are all within her lab with the Winter Soldier. So far, the Winter Soldier has made no move. Shuri is using a machine that heals and reconstructs the soldier's knee, and Bucky is perturbed by the damage he had inflicted. He reflects on the hardship it took to regulate the strength of his grip in his metal arm; reminiscing about the difficulty of clutching a glass of water.
Shuri then tells the group that she would like to begin deconstructing the Winter Soldier's mind to get an understanding of her intentions, and suggests activating the Winter Soldier again should Shuri's efforts fail. Steve is apprehensive, and Shuri voices that if neither efforts are successful, then she will have to completely reboot the Winter Soldier.
Shuri elaborates that she is currently attempting to figure out the identity of the Winter Soldier, and makes a remark that she hopes Tony Stark is also doing the same. Steve comments that Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, is also combing through the databank Bucky had downloaded, as well as previously recovered databanks.
When a scientist attempts to inject a sedative into her, the Winter Soldier begins to resist; causing a scene and consequently breaking the needle of the sedative within her neck. Steve observed that the woman understood what the syringe meant, and T'Challa points out that it might be a sign that she is remembering.
Before Steve's departure, Bucky voices his fear that HYDRA is using her to get to him, and Steve reassures Bucky that he won't let HYDRA get their hands on him again. Steve exits with T'Challa, and Bucky and Shuri are left alone within the lab. Shuri begins to remove a bit of the woman's clothing, and more scars are revealed.
Bucky becomes upset by the sight of the scars, understanding what they meant, and Bucky begins to become apprehensive about saving the woman. Shuri reassures Bucky that what they are doing is right. Later, Shuri shows Bucky a digital rendition of the Winter Soldier's brain and explains what she is going to do in order to save the woman's core identity.
Shuri comments that Bucky should see Steve off, and though Bucky tries to get to Steve before he leaves, he is unsuccessful. Instead, he meets with T'Challa. They begin to converse with each other, Bucky revealing his concerns, and T'Challa reassures him that HYDRA would not make it far into Wakanda if they attempted to retrieve him. Bucky makes a final thought on the woman and reflects on her strength. End scene.
TAGLIST: @vicmc624 @tilldeathripsusapart
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thelilylav · 8 months ago
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Hmmm... very interesting to me that Taylor Swift is trending rn and yet for some reason no one in that tag is complaining that her trending is taking away from what's going on in Palestine and what's happening in Rafah. And yet for some reason, people couldn't seem to shut up in the Kendrick Lamar tag when he was trending about how the whole beef was just two celebrities beef (it's much deeper than that) and were making up theories abt how the whole thing was taking attention away from Palestine and everyone talking about it should feel ashamed of themselves (every single account I saw in that tag was posting about Palestine too).
And the thing that's really getting me is that Taylor is trending bc of a change to the Eras tour. An objectively unimportant change to make, especially when compared to what's going on in Rafah. But that's not what gets hate, no, it's the predator getting called out in an industry known for exploitation by one of the biggest artists in said industry. The racism isn't even implicit atp...
Edit: ok so just to clarify no this wasn't meant to insinuate that Taylor trending was some setup of Israel (that's just... like objectively wrong lmao), it was to point out that when it comes to a black artist in hip hop (a predominantly non-white genre) people wouldn't let fans of said genre just enjoy the music and shenanigans happening in that genre and that's it's hypocritical to act like people can't care abt two things at once, but they can enjoy their white "feminist icon" pop star (a much whiter genre) without anyone bringing hate into that tag. like i put in the tags, the anti taylor tag is for filtering bc i honestly don't see this post as particularly negative for taylor swift, it's a critique of the fans. and i'm calling out swifties particularly bc the ones who were saying that the beef was manufactured to take eyes off of rafah were swifties, and the ones being racist in the kendrick tag were swifties. i'm not exaggerating like almost every hate post i saw mentioning the beef being manufactured was a swiftie account. it is weird to act like people caring about very serious allegations happening in a genre of music isn't reason enough to make a big deal of the situation and go INTO THE TAG and complain, but it is especially hypocritical and frankly quite infuriating to see the same people who complained about a big deal of a situation being a "distraction" from gaza and then blog abt taylor swift . it's fine if u want to blog abt music u like, honestly idc abt that, if that's all u do then this legit isn't targeted at u, this is targeted at the swifties who came into the kendrick tag to complain and then went back to talking abt swift two seconds later like they weren't doing the same thing they were complaining abt two minutes before. (sry for the long explanation, but i just don't want ppl taking my words out of context and i rlly tried to word this all clearly, but idk man sometimes u think u word something well and then nobody undrestands wtf u were on abt so i wanted to make sure it was clear) also, if you're a zionist or israel supporter, i will be blocking u if u interact with this post. ok ty bye bye
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nobodysdaydreams · 5 months ago
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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jtl-fics · 1 year ago
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Coffee shop au + FF
We’ve discussed him as a customer but what’s he like as an employee?
Fluent Freshman AU | Unusual Fic Asks - Closed
FF spent his college years at Palmetto State University tormented by baristas who must have hated him to his very core because in the 5 years of his degree they never once got his order right.
So, FF opened Secret Ingredient with the intention of getting people's orders CORRECT. FF kept any number of alternative sweeteners, dairy alternatives, and whatever else he needed so he could hand off every drink with a clear conscience.
He mastered the art of different coffees and his grandmother's recipes even if he would never have the full flavor profile since he lacked the secret ingredient of a Grandmother's love.
FF was living a good life. He was making good money and his passion for foreign languages had never died he had, with this coffee shop in mind, changed his degree to business management. If nothing else his foreign language skills made him a hit with the international students.
He just never expected his ability to cater to anyone would result in his little shop becoming the campus darling. His days started early and ran late but it was nice to have so many students come to his coffee shop.
His pastries almost never lasted beyond noon but when he spoke with one of his favorite customers, a marketing student by the name of Nicky, he waved him off the idea of making more.
"Supply and Demand. Keep them wanting more." Nicky said even as FF always kept Nicky's usual chocolate croissant order behind the counter so he could get it after his Exy practice. Nicky was older than the standard student but the two of them had become fast friends.
Such good friends that FF didn't bat an eye when he got a long text from Nicky as he was getting everything set upright at the start of the day requesting a whole slew of orders including one of the most complicated sugary drinks that he had ever seen. Nicky had sent along 20 'pls' and begging emojis afterwards and FF was powerless to do anything but say yes.
He started the drip brew for the one Red Eye and then got to the pour over for the Americano and the straight black. He made Nicky's traditional Mocha with the little bittersweet chocolate chips that he knew Nicky adored. Then he got started on a drink that would take his sizeable working knowledge to put together.
It took 5 minutes to craft the monstrosity and the baked goods that Nicky had requested were done just as he saw his friend rushing up to the closed door. He walked over and let Nicky in even if it was an hour before the official shop opening. "We got drunk in the dorm last night and I broke the coffee machine. My cousin was going to actually crazy murder me if I couldn't get them all their coffees. You are a literal life saver Smithy!" Nicky exclaims and kisses him wetly on the cheek and FF could still smell the alcohol on him.
"Glad to help." he says because he is, "celebrating that great win last night?" he asks.
Nicky nods, "That we were! I'll stop by later to chat more but I gotta get these to their owners before Andrew puts a hit out on me." he says rushing away.
FF continued to get himself ready for the day. Saturdays were actually one of her slower days since there were less people on the campus and it didn't draw people out the way Sunday did with 'I need to do my homework for Monday' energy.
He opened the shop and enjoyed his slow and easy morning with regulars and new faces.
His peaceful morning came to an end when the star goalie of Palmetto State's Exy team came in holding the plastic cup he had given to Nicky nearly three hours prior. "You made this?" he asks holding up the cup as he pushed past a regular who was trying decide if they wanted a Flat White or a Café Au Lait.
FF takes a deep breath.
"Yes that was me. Was there a problem?" he asks.
"Make it again." Nicky's cousin says.
So there was a problem with it. He opens his mouth to ask what the issue was but Nicky's cousin's face made it clear that he was not accepting any questions at this time.
So with shaking hands he remade Nicky's cousin's drink. Quadruple checking that everything was in there this time but it felt the exact same as last time.
He handed the man his drink as the other regular was now contemplating that maybe she wanted a Machiato instead, seemingly unaware of her proximity to danger.
Nicky's cousin put the cost of the drink on the counter and was gone before FF could ask about the drink. He felt his heart hammering in his chest wondering what he had messed up and hoping that Nicky's cousin didn't come back even angrier.
"I know this is a big ask but," the customer who had been contemplating which combination of coffee / espresso with steamed milk she wanted leaned in, "Any chance you have whiskey back there? I'm kind of feeling like a good Irish coffee." she says with a mischievous wink.
Oh he had alcohol back here, he lived above his coffee shop but he would be needing all of it for himself.
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dawntheduckrb · 2 months ago
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I love how you can purposely cater you internet experience to block most politics so you can mentally detox since your media consumption was becoming unhealthy, and still have a whole week of attempting to regain your hope in humanity become completely undone by wanting to eat lunch with your mom (ramble in tags, feel free to ignore; take care of yourselves first <3)
#politics#us politics#tags so people can block this post#it's just so cool and awesome that things work like that#i was genuinely doing so much better#i was engaging with news in a healthier way#i was fixing my focus on what to do moving forward#but then i had the audacity to want to eat lunch with my mother instead of holing up in my room#she turned on fox news and i tuned it out... talking about stuff with them always turns into debates and its mentality exhausting#so i generally just keep my mouth shut unless asked#but then she started commenting on the news out loud#and so being a personable person i did my best to respond#they were talking about mass deportation of ''illegal criminals'' and she asked out loud why they havent sent them away already#so i said “oh well its expensive and there's not always places that are willing to take them”... left my opinion on the sentiment out of it#that was the WRONG thing to say apparently#devolved into a debate where she ultimately said “ok but it was a rhetorical question and i didnt actually want an answer”#how was i supposed to know that????? im the only person in the room??? thats not what rhetorical questions are used for??????#so we moved on from the topic#she said something along the lines of “pff and people come in illegally and still want to seek asylum”#so again i speak up#told her (with a quick google search to back it up) that people can either apply for asylum at the border or after entering illegally#as long as its within a year of entering#that was ALSO THE WRONG THING TO SAY#she reiterated that she still wasn't asking and added “im just watching the news; i dont want to google anything”#and im like...#...one; she mentioned in her “thinking out loud” rambles that she's aware that i dont like to talk about this stuff with her#but that this stuff is important to talk about... which i took as a “why won't you talk with me?”#so ouch#but also... whY ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS IF YOU DON'T CARE TO VERIFY ANY OF IT#im out of tags to ramble in but I'm still so hurt and mad and i have been reminded how little people care about compassion and factuality
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keeps-ache · 2 years ago
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ouuhwhuh the nectar (water) ! ohhuhuihouhuhu
...am i a fish
#just me hi#wwwwwwwwwortorrrrrr ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#am i just like at that stage of dehydration where i don't feel it again or are my senses Elevated. hard to tell#[takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a sippy] [takes a si#/god was so so very right for making water. oh man oh boy oh Man#like. this stuff is Great#sometimes it's Really gross but this stuff is really really good#how many types of water are there#google says 7#7 wortor. 7 virtues......#fish virtues............#oh no my conspiracy brain is coming out of hiding oh gosh oh frick oh n-#//oh yeah so i had to do Hygiene Things earlier and my mmmmmother Finally got shampoo after Weeks of DISH SOAP.#heavens' sake- DISH SOAP. it was in my HAIR. it was AWFUL#just TERRIBLE. it's a horrible awful terrible texture and i don't even know how to describe it. it's like. plastic#bad vibes!#so my mom's like 'why don't you just use the dish soap lol' and i don't have my brain on so i'm just like 'it feels bad :/'#and i Know there's somebody who agrees with me cuz like. that shizz is sposed to strip off COOKING OIL. i am NOT so much an oily boi as my#mother wants to believe (assuming from the fact she kept telling me to use DISH SOAP. WRONG.)#yeah this isn't the first time this has happened. yea i wish it would be the last time but this isn't the world of my dreams yet so#/DISH SOAP. it dries out my skkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkine i canNOT believe this. Horror#//anyway my dramatics are over again :) [drapes over the couch]#somebody fetch me like. a lemonade or something. or pink lemonade!! very good drink :D [continues to Drape]
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district4loading · 1 month ago
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A Trip
Le Sserafim Yunjin x Male Reader
8k Words
Content Warning: smut, very fluffy, a little bit of angst cause reader has daddy issues (why not), lots of plot
Minors DNI
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A/N: Hello fearnots!! I took a small step out of my comfort zone to (happily) fulfill a request from one of my followers. I hope they enjoy it and I hope you all do too!
Also most of the information I got about Yunjin is from google so feel free to message me if it's wrong. I will change it.
(So sorry if there are typos, i proofread this at midnight lmao.)
-
Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
-
You wake up hearing the loud hum of the airplane fill your ears, it was a sound you were all too familiar with by now, a sound that often times meant work. You keep your eyes shut, shuffling in your seat to turn your head away from the vibrant daylight that shone through the window, breaching your eyelids. Then you hear whats probably the pilots rough voice on the intercom, muttering something about preparing for landing. That's when your eyes finally open and almost immediately they meet a pair of eyes so beautiful you can't help but smile.
It's your girlfriend Yunjin. You've been together for eight months and some change now but due to your conflicting schedules, you haven't been able to spend much quality time together recently. So the second you two found an open window you took it and decided to do something with the short week you had off. You're heading to Boston so she can meet your family for the first time, then the plan is to go on a mini roadtrip to Albany so you can meet her parents too then after that get a hotel and relax, maybe even head to the city.
The chances of your schedules being free at the same times are really slim so you want to make the most of your time together. 
Yunjin smiles softly when you wake up and you begin to start wondering how long she's been watching you. "How did you sleep?" You stifle a yawn, stretching your arms and legs a bit as the plane begins to descend, feeling a slight discomfort in your ears.
"I didn't"
You quickly go from being tiredly relaxed to being slightly concerned "Jen, it's been thirteen hours. What do you mean you didn't sleep?" There's another yawn that tries to come out while you're talking, you manage to suppress it but it still makes you teary eyed as your body was still trying to get over the effects of waking up.
"I couldn't, I don't know I've just been thinking a lot" She chews her bottom lip nervously before speaking again "I'm about to meet your parents, you know? It's a little nerve wracking"
Theres a gentle smile that grows on your face when you realize why she hasn't slept, you think it's cute. "You have nothing to be nervous about, they will love you. We're gonna go over there and we're gonna spend the day with them and it's gonna be great" You try to reassure her, a small chuckle escaping your lips.
Yunjin pokes out her bottom lip and tilts her head to rest on your shoulder for a bit "You sure?" 
"Yeah baby" You nod before leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead, catching a whiff of her hair. 
The plane lands and you two do your best to get through customs and everything without any troubles and you can't help but notice how easy it is. No fans, no paparazzi, no bodyguards, no extensive amounts of suitcases, just you and Yunjin. The feeling was sort of bittersweet to you, on one hand it was nice not having to push through crowds of people but on the other, you kind of missed the support, the "I love you's," the look of genuine support on the faces of your fans. "What are you in your head about now?" Yunjin taps your arm as you roll two big suitcases through the airport. You glance at her and hum, not yet processing the question "You were making that face again"
"What face?"
"That face you make when you're thinking about something too hard" She responds cleverly causing you to roll your eyes slightly.
She gives you a moment, allowing you to be silent as you try to figure out how to convey what you want to. "Don't you miss it?" You ask a bit vaguely, assuming that she'd get what you were talking about. When you only get a confused look from her you begin to expand on it "The attention, the fans.. you know.” You almost cringe at yourself, feeling like a little bit of an attention whore.
Which… you kind of were, otherwise you wouldn’t have be an idol
"Oh" Yunjin pauses, then gets visibly confused "A little bit, I mean it's really wholesome the nice things they say and the little interactions... but isn't this more peaceful?"
"Yeah, I don't know it's just weird being in an airport for something other than work" You say as you walk through the double doors, inhaling the all but fresh scent of Boston air. The smell of home. You pull out your phone and shoot your father a message asking where he was parked and you get one back almost immediately "They're a little farther down" You nod in the direction where they were parked towards, a disorder of cars and angry drivers honking.
Yunjin's starting to get nervous again and you catch it immediately so you take her hand in yours "Hey, just breathe" You tell her before bringing it up to leave a kiss on her knuckle for comfort. She nods and you both begin to walk around the outside of the airport, wondering how and why there were so many people there at eight in the morning.
You eventually spot your parents’ silver SUV and you point it out to Yunjin. She makes eye contact with your parents who are standing there waiting for you and she feels her nerves coming up again, but she manages to tell herself everything will be okay thanks to you. You roll the suitcases near the car "Hey mom, hey dad" You greet them with hugs so tight and loving that you think you might pop all while Yunjin stands there awkwardly. You step back next to her "This is my girlfriend, Yunjin"
"We know her name by now, she's all you talk about" Your mother says, brushing past you. Yunjin puts her hand out thinking that your mom was going for a handshake but instead she pulls her in for a hug. You winced a bit, feeling like you should've maybe warned her about how much your mom likes to give hugs. "It's great to finally meet you, you can call me mom" She says, holding onto her arms when she pulls away. Your mom looks Yunjin up and down, a look of pure adoration in her eyes "She's so pretty and she's so tall I might have to steal her from you" Your mom turns to you before backing up and you both just awkwardly laugh at the older woman's humor.
"Nice to meet you" Your father reaches his hand out to shake hers, firm and proper then he looks at you "Your sisters are home, they didn't want to come for the ride" He shrugs as he grabs one of your suitcases to load in the car. Your mom and Yunjin get inside and as you expected, your mom is talking her ears off, you snicker, hoping it's not too overbearing. "So whats the plan?" Your father asks as you help him with the bags.
You take your eyes off of the girls. "What plan?"
"With her, you really like her? are your fans going to be okay with it?" He purposefully lowers his voice so they can’t hear.
Your father was the reason you got into the industry in the first place. When you were fifteen he packed your bags and sent you down to SM entertainment--on the other side of the world--to train in hopes that you'd make your big break. Why at a company like that? You had no clue. But one thing you were sure of was that your relationship with him has never been the same since then. It's also quite relevant to add that he was a trainee when he was younger but he never made the cut, deciding to instead to move to the states for college and lead a normal life.
So he knew enough to know what could happen if you went public with your relationship. 
You give him a look and you're kind of annoyed that he's bringing it up now. He thinks your career is the most important thing and in his eyes, relationships were merely just scandals waiting to happen. He didn't see the point in them, so when he found out that you were dating Yunjin, he obviously didn't approve. But you never cared about what he thought because she's the love of your life. "I don't just like her dad. I love her and the fans will just have to deal with it if we decide to go public"
"But you won't" He says it in that matter-of-fact tone. The one that you hate and he knows you do. Maybe it's immature, but you held a lot of contempt for him deep inside of you because of the way he's run your entire life. Now he's trying to do the same right now and you won't let him because you're older. You're your own man.
There's something about him that just makes you want to rebel and do something crazy out of nothing but pure spite. Something drastic like posting a picture of you and Yunjin kissing just to show him that he doesn't run your life.
You couldn't do that though, mainly for company reasons. "Remember to be careful Y/n, your career is everything, your brand is everything. You haven't even been able to go solo from your group yet and if you want to-"
"I don't wanna talk to you about this" You slam the trunk closed a little harder than you should've, most likely startling Yunjin and your mom then you walk around to get into the backseat.
Yunjin tilts her head, laughing a bit "Why'd you close the trunk so hard" You shrug, trying to make it seem like everything was okay but it wasn't. Not when your dad's being an asshole again. You we're hoping he'd show a little respect for the occasion but then again, he's him. You shouldn't have expected anything. "You okay?" She gets a bit more concerned noticing the change in your demeanor and that's when your dad gets into the car and starts the engine.
"Yeah no everything's fine"
Yunjin knows you too well. She recognizes that tone and she can tell somethings bothering you but she doesn't say anything, knowing that you don't want to talk about it. "Okay" She subtly takes your hand into hers as the car begins to move, silently telling you that she's there for you. She'll always be. "Well, your mom was just telling me about how gross you were as a kid..." She says, triggering a long lost memory in the back of your mind and you're almost betrayed that your mother would tell her about it. 
"Mommm! Come on!" You complain and the car bubbles with laughter, some coming from you as well even if you were embarrassed.
-
The car ride ended up being full of conversation and good energy. It lightened your mood to see how quickly Yunjin and your mom got along with each other. You expected for the short exchange you had with your dad to kill your mood, maybe even have you bothered for the entire day. He has that effect on you. But for once he doesn't and maybe its cause Yunjin had your hand in hers, moving her thumb to rub your knuckles for extra comfort.
Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
When you arrive, your dad pulls into the garage where you look over and see your car. The car you plan on driving all the way down to Albany to see Yunjin's parents. You get out and walk into the house where both your sisters are sitting on the couch, Sarah and April. They look up at you, their eyes lighting up the brightest you've ever seen them.
"Oh my god, I can't believe my lame ass brother is actually dating a member of Le Sserafim" Sarah, the older among the two teases like she always did. It's good to know she still has that fire in her.
"I havent even been here for a minute and you're already bullying me" You fake complain, silently enjoying the playful relationship you shared with her. Yunjin purses her lips to stifle a laugh as you walk over to put Sarah in a fake headlock and hold her there right up until she's saying sorry. It was your big brother, little sister dynamic and you were glad that after all this time she was still willing to play along with it no matter if she was getting older or not.
The youngest, April kind of looks a bit shy and you know exactly why. "Oh... I forgot to say, April really likes Le Sserafim" You mention to Yunjin who continues to smile even bigger after taking in the flattering information. She walks over to the couch and takes a seat next to her. 
You just watch as she tries her best to get your sisters comfortable with her, cracking jokes to make them laugh. She was more natural at meeting people than she'd ever give herself credit for. You turn to your mom "I need the keys for my car" You mention as you walk with her up the stairs, leaving the others downstairs.
"How long are you staying?"
"Maybe three hours, then we have to head down to Albany. It's a long drive so I don't want to leave too late" You explain she gives you a look, an inquisitive hum leaving her throat as she moves to open the bedroom door.
"I thought you were going to stay here for the night, change of plans?" You nod and you just shrug but then she gives you a look, one that says to cut the bullshit and tell her what you're feeling.
"Dad's being.. dad again. I don't want to spend too much time under the same roof as him" You mutter, leaning against the king sized bed as you watch her fish through a drawer for your keys. 
She pauses for a minute, a small sigh escaping her lips and you already know whats coming. A water-downed attempt to defend the indefensible "He just wants the best for you, you know" She closes the drawer after finding the keys and puts them in your hands, acknowledging your unconvincing glare. 
"Yeah, right. Did he also want the best for me when he sent me to train at a company that doesn't give a fuck about me?" You ask, not meaning for there to be so much hostility in your tone. Hell, you didn't even mean to curse at her. It just got on your nerves that she'd ever begin to defend him, especially with the whole 'he's doing it in good faith' argument because if he was, he would've let it be your choice to begin with. Not just the choice of company, but the decision to go to Korea in the first place.
She flinches at your language and you apologize shortly after. You move to leave the room, ready to head off downstairs to see what Yunjin and your sisters were doing when your mother holds your arm. "Before you go and leave forever, talk to me, tell me about how everything's been going in Korea. I haven't seen my son in months and he's already leaving after spending what? two seconds here?" 
"Sorry" You apologize and its genuine, like actually. 
-
You ended up staying and talking about basically everything that's happened in this past year with your mom, who was always a really good listener. She gave great advice about how to solve some of your problems when you go back. It was a good maybe half hour long heartfelt conversation. One that you had with her often over the phone but it's even better in person.
"I should probably get back, Yunjin's probably wondering where I am" You stand up and stretch your arms a bit. Then you leave the room. When you get down stairs, you see Sarah and April and they're watching something in the living room. Theres a moment where you look around in confusion before asking "Where's Yunjin?"
"In the garage with dad" April shrugs, not even bothering to look away from the TV. 
Your heart sinks.
"Fuck" You mutter as you walk over to the garage, already knowing what he was trying to do. You walk through the garage door and they're talking. His demeanor was almost intimidating and hers was small and it only made you angrier. You step between them and shove him backwards. "The hell are you doing?" You're level with him this time, almost mirroring his muscular build and his height. It was almost scary how alike you were.
"I was just trying to tell her-"
"I don't care, I don't want you to tell her anything" It's kind of contradicting, but you can barely think straight right now.
"Y/n, no its fine he was just" Yunjin tries to argue, touching your arm with her soft hand. You turn to look at her for a moment, your eyes softening when they meet hers.
All of your anger almost goes away, thats what she does to you.
"What did he say to you, Jen?"
Yunjin's eyes darting to hers and then back to yours before she can even speak he cuts in "I was just letting her know that she's going to ruin your career" You turn to him struggling to even begin to comprehend what the fuck he just said. By the cold stare you give him he can tell you're angry but he doesn't care. "Don't be like that, you know it's true! and when you two break up, there's going to be rumors and-"
You look over to Yunjin "We're leaving" Is all you say as you walk behind your parents' car, popping the trunk to take your suitcases and transfer them to your car. If you had no self control, you would have probably punched your dad in the face and maybe even have a full on altercation with him right there in the garage.
But Yunjin didn't need to see that and your mother probably wouldn't be able to handle that.
Soon everything's packed and you're inside of your car, reaching to put your seatbelt on. "Tell mom I said goodbye" You tell your dad and you can't even look him in the eyes when you do. You just watch as the garage doors slide open to make way for your car. Yunjin gets in too and she sets up the navigation on your phone. "How longs the drive?" 
"Two and a half hours" She answers as she puts her seatbelt on. You put the keys in the ignition and you pull off, just glad that you're away from him and the dark emotions he's dredged up.
The car ride starts off silent, you're thinking about a lot. About how Yunjin must've felt hearing that from your father, about how telling it was that he thought he had any right to say something like that to her and especially about how much you damn near hated the man. 
"So" Yunjin breaks the silence.
"So" You repeat her words.
"When were you gonna tell me that you have daddy issues?" 
Your face scrunches up in confusion "I don't have daddy issues" You repeat the term, seeing it as something that could only apply to women. Until you actually start thinking about it, how your relationship with him isn't good, how you get upset when he's around and especially how small he makes you want to act out like a teenager. "Holy shit, I have daddy issues" You realize, causing Yunjin to almost burst out laughing.
The mood was lightening up and you were happy about that, not wanting the altercation with your dad to sour the entire trip. "I had a feeling, you talk about your mom and your sisters a lot but not him." She mentions and you kind of nod, not even realizing how obvious it was. 
"Seriously though, what he said, did it bother you?"
Yunjin shakes her head "Not at all, I still really liked hanging out with your sisters and talking to your mother. They're great" She smiles and you do too, being able to tell that she was being fully genuine in her answer.
You knew each other like that.
-
The rest of the trip was quiet, mostly because Yunjin ended up falling asleep in the beginning half and for the entire ride. You expected her to sleep especially because she didn't get any on the plane.
Shamelessly, you found yourself glancing at her at the occasional red light just to watch her sleeping peacefully.
It made you happy to know that she was yours and only yours.
When you finally arrive in front of her home, you park out front and reach over to tap her awake. It took a few light pushes to wake her up. You watch as she smacks her lips together, wiping the sleep out of her eyes while she stretched her back. It was all the signs that you just woke her up from a really good nap. "What? are we here already?" She yawns and looks out of the window. 
It's already beginning to get dark, the streetlights in the neighborhood were already on, shedding warm light on the empty sidewalk. Now you begin feeling the nerves about meeting her mom and dad. You hope it goes better than the visit to your parents house and you hope they like you. "You ready?" 
You nod your head and the two of you get out and walk up to the door, ringing the doorbell only once. Then the door opens, revealing what you assume to be Yunjin's dad. She opens up her arms, hugging him tightly with a big comfy smile on her face "Hey Jen, you guys got here just in time. Your mom's just finished cooking" He pulls away from the hug then sizes you up a bit, you almost feel a chill run down your spine "I'm guessing this is Y/n?" He asks, putting his hand out to shake yours, nice and firm.
"That's me, it's good to meet you" You nod and move to enter the house. You look around the foyer, noticing a bunch of pictures on the wall of Yunjin and her family together. In some of them she looks so adorable, so happy as a little girl.
Then you walk into the dining room where Yunjin's mom is setting the table. She looks up and smiles upon seeing the two of you, placing a plate down before walking over to hug her daughter first. "Here's the famous boyfriend I assume" She jokes, opening her arms to hug you too.
"Wow, it's nice to finally meet you guys" You smile politely.
Then you take a seat at the table and Yunjin sits next to you and when everyones actually settled in, some conversation begins. "So Y/n" Her mom begins and you hum in response, making sure to make good eye contact "You work in the industry too, right?"
"Yeah, i'm in my fourth year" You nod.
"I'm, curious. How do you two manage to make time for each other?" 
Wow, right out the gate with the heavy questions
You look over to Yunjin, who has already started eating and then your eyes find their way back to her mom's. Noticing that her dad was looking too, you cleared your throat as you tried to figure out a good way to answer the question "It's hard, with the way our schedules conflict a lot but we manage to find windows and do little acts of service for each other when we have free time. For example, when i'm not working and she is, I'll go out and buy her gifts or something and vice versa" You explain and you can feel Yunjin staring at you with that smile on her face.
Yunjin's parents look satisfied with your explanation and you almost feel proud of yourself for handling the question well.
-
The dinner goes way better than you expected, much better than the visit to your parents house which you're grateful for nonetheless. You stay after dinner, getting to know Yunjin's parents better as you played a few fun board games with some music playing in the background. Soon it started feeling like more of a hangout with friends rather than meeting your girlfriends parents.
So it was safe to say that they liked you.
When it started to get late, you and Yunjin said your goodbyes, exchanging friendly hugs with the each other before leaving. There's a nice hotel just thirty minutes away from her parents house, providing you with a place to stay the night before heading down to the city. 
It took a bit of waiting but finally, you were able to book an acceptable room with a good view of Albany.
You put your bags down and without even taking off your clothes, you fall backwards onto the bed and you just lay there. "Well today was... one hell of a day" You mutter, the altercation with your father still in the back of your mind. 
Yunjin sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you lay there. You notice that there's a look on her face. That one she makes when she wants to ask a question but isn't sure how or maybe she doesn't want to ruin the mood with the weight of the question. "Babe?" You ask, sitting up "You alright?" 
"I... your dad... there was something else he said and I know it shouldn't have but it kind of got to me" She subtly begins to play with her fingers, like she's about to break some bad news. You already feel your blood boiling as you start to realize that his words may have bothered her way more than you thought.
Before she continues you stop her "Yunjin you're not going to ruin my career, seriously I value you more than anything in the-"
"No, it's not that" You quirk your eyebrow, deciding that you'll just shut up and listen. "He also said that this is all for nothing, that we'll fall out of love because we barely see each other." Yunjin looks worried, like for the first time she's having some doubts about your relationship. That's because it's the only thing that feels like it could be true. You two had to go almost extreme lengths to have dates, or hang out when you're free. 
Sometimes it gets so busy that you go weeks without seeing each other and that's what worried Yunjin the most. It was the distance. You hold her hand with yours, an act of affection that you found yourself doing a lot when you needed to reassure her "Jen, I love you and... what we have isn't going to fizzle out, it's going to be there forever. My dads just trying to get into your head, I can't believe he said that" You mutter the last part, making a mental note to give him a call later and maybe curse him out.
"Really? Cause sometimes I feel like things at work can get stressful, so stressful to the point where even in our free time we need time to recharge alone. Then when is there going to be time for... just us?" She asks, and its a valid question and a valid feeling but all you do is hold her hand tighter, firmer. 
"You can recharge in bed with me and my arms wrapped around your body" 
This makes Yunjin laugh, cracking a smile at your comment even though you weren't joking at all. She nods "I know.. I'm sorry I let things get to my head. I've just been overthinking a lot and I didn't get much sleep" There's a small smile that threatens to show on your face and she immediately catches the curving of your lips "What?" She laughs a bit, pushing your shoulder lightly. She already knows what you're thinking.
"I know something that'll help you sleep better" You lean in, leaving a small peck on her lips.
Yunjin begins smiling "What is it?" She asks, her lips just centimeters away from yours. You lean forwards again to press your lips together and the kiss is longer this time, slower. You pull away just enough to disconnect your lips.
"Guess" Is all you say before you push her body back on the bed and you kiss her again but its a bit harder this time. It lasts for a minute too, a whole minute (and maybe even more than that because who's counting?) where you're just exploring each others' mouths. Her breathing becomes heavier and you shuffle a bit, careful not to break the kiss as you do.
You finally pull yourself off of her lips, just for a moment so you can get yourself out of the limiting confines of your clothes. Watching as you take your shirt off, Yunjin follows and pulls her top over her head. You move to unbutton and unzip her tight jeans. She's wearing the ones that you loved, the ones that cling to her thighs so perfectly. As you pull them off, Yunjin lifts her legs and straightens them to help you out.
"I've been wanting to do that all day" 
"Really? While you were meeting my parents?" She giggles, pretending to be shocked, she knew that you were looking. 
She caught on every time "Don't act like you didn't know" You reach for your belt and you sling it off, standing up from the bed for a moment just to drop your loose fitting jeans all the way. Then you get back into bed with her and you crawl in between her legs. Yunjin wraps them around you, bringing your body that much closer to hers.
You kiss her lips again, breathing slow and heavy breaths as you do, you couldn't get enough of her plump lips. Then you begin sliding your hand down between the crevice where your bodies met all the way down to her panties. You allow your hand to rest there, feeling the heat through the lacy fabric while you began to move your lips elsewhere. First the corner of her lips. then her cheek, then her jawline and eventually to her neck.
Yunjin moans softly, rolling her hips up into your hand as you begin to suck on her warm flesh. You lick the skin, then gently take it between your teeth and you suck hard enough to get a reaction but not to leave a mark of any kind. It's a lot to deal with. Your lips on her neck, your hand teasing her right where she needs you the most right now and the way your warm body felt on hers. No matter how torturous the teasing feels right now, she's loving the time and care you take with her body.
"Baby" She tries to whisper, but it comes out as more of a needy whine. Her hips haven't stopped moving yet either. "Please"
Thats when you finally slide your hand beneath the waistband of her panties and you palm her cunt. You take note of how wet she is as you begin to rub messy circles around her clit, providing enough pressure for now "You're soaked, baby" You announce, as if she wasn't already painfully aware.
"For.. you" She manages to say through her soft moans and then as quickly as you put them in, you slide them right out to use both of your hands to pull her panties off. Then you motion for her to lean up, and you reach around to unclip her bra, letting it slide off of her arms delicately. You struggle a bit to shimmy out of your boxers while you were still on the bed and once they're off, the two of you are completely bare in each others presence.
You put your body flush to hers again and you leave a kiss on her neck, sliding your hand back to where they belonged. "I'm going to put a finger in" You warn, and an enthusiastic hum from her follows. You slide your middle finger into the smooth and tight confines of her cunt. Yunjin moans, biting her lip as you curl the finger and begin pumping it in and out.
"Feels so.. good" She breathes and you decide to let your mouth explore other parts of her wonderful body. You kiss along the perfect curve of her collarbone, getting every inch wet with your saliva and your tongue. Yunjin didn't even have to say it in words, her body language spoke volumes. Especially the way she rides your fingers and whines your name.
You slide another finger inside and she moans louder, really beginning to feel the stretch as you work them both inside. You kiss all the way down to her left nipple which you take into your mouth almost immediately, her back arches a bit when you do and you grab her right breast with your hand. You begin to massage it, tweaking the nipple between your fingers while you sucked on the other one.
Then you switch, rubbing the saliva you left back into her breasts and along her body. It was like you were claiming her as yours or--for lack of better words--marking your territory. "Baby.. please" She gapes, her voice just above a whisper as she begs. You hum in response "Need you inside"
 So you slide your fingers out and take them between your lips "You taste so good, Jen" You mutter as you lean over her body, positioning yourself more properly between her legs. Theres a moment when you look into her eyes, your faces just a few inches apart. Then you take your cock into your hand and you begin stroking it, just lathering it up with the mix of her slick and your saliva. 
The moment you prod her entrance, another "Please" escapes her lips but this time it sounds so breathless, so desperate, like she'll die if you're not inside of her by the next second. You waste no more time and you push your hips forward immediately feeling the way her warm walls wrapped around you. It was like a tight hug and you fit so perfectly inside of her, like you were made to be inside of her.
Yunjin winces, her eyebrows upturned as she shuts her eyes all in an attempt to cope with the indescribable pleasure of you being inside of her. You lean down and close the gap, putting you lips together as she moans long high pitched whines. She wraps her legs around you and thats when you reach the hilt "Fuck" You curse on her lips, feeling her throb inside.
You begin to move, starting off slow and deep with your movements, sure to make her feel every every inch. You're bodies are on fire as you share this intimate moment of pleasure together, relishing in the particular feeling when your hips meet. She's so wet that you can hear it, you can hear it and its driving you insane. Yunjin feels so good, you just want to stay in the moment forever.
You move to kiss her neck again, mostly so you can allow her to moan as loud as she wants to. It's because you want to hear her pretty moans, every stutter, every word she tries to get out in an attempt to let you know how good she's feeling--more importantly how good you're making her feel. She does just that "Fuck baby... so deep" and "You're so big, stretching me so good" and "don't stop." You hear all the praise and you're obsessed with it.
"You feel so good" You grunt as you begin to pick up the pace, fucking her faster "So tight and wet for me" 
Theres a whimper that escapes her lips and shortly after a loud moan "Yes, faster please fuck me faster...harder." She pleads and you do just that, hearing the moment she begins to choke on her own words, literally losing breath as you began to hit the deepest spots inside of her. You can feel her nails scratching her back. "I love You" She moans, and the words sound so beautiful coming out of her mouth. 
"I love you" You groan, feeling the way her cunt pulses and throbs around your cock. It felt so fucking good you couldn't even believe how good she felt, like nothing ever before. "Fuck" You sigh, leaning up to hold yourself up by your arms. Yujin looks so beautiful with her eyes closed and her eyebrows kitted together. Her whole face is flushed a shade of red and so is her body as you get her closer and closer to her climax.
Yunjin grabs onto your forearms tightly, "Gonna cum for you" 
You reach your hand down and you begin to rub her clit in tight circles, feeling the swollen bud throb on your fingers. You're looking right at her, wanting to catch the exact moment that she topples over the edge. "Go ahead baby, let go" Your voice is soft while you say it.
She does it so beautifully. First her eyes go wide and she stares into nothing as her body goes rigid, you keep going and a moan gets caught in her throat. Yunjin gasps, then chokes out a sob right before she begins to tremble and shudder. You can feel it inside, the way her cunt begins to pulse and clench around your sensitive cock. It feels so good and it starts getting hard for you to hold back as well.
"I'm cumming" She finally gasps, releasing as her creamy slick begins to coat your entire cock. Her back arches as her orgasm knocks the wind out of her and it stays that way for a moment. With a longer moan she falls backwards and thats when you know she's done. "Fuck" She sighs as your thrusts slow to a stop. You lean down and kiss her, just to seal everything in. it's slow and sensual, a moment that could make it feel like time has frozen and the only thing that matters are her lips and her body.
Eventually you pull away from the kiss, and before you can even do anything, Yunjin flips you over. She's giggling as she does because she's still in her post-orgasm state, feeling like she's floating. The look in her eyes is so loving and lustful at the same time "Let me make you feel good" She says it in a tone that sends a chill down your spine, so sexy and naughty as she's about to please you.
Yunjin's hovering over your lap and you watch her every move. From the moment she wraps her hand around your throbbing cock to the second your tip comes into contact with her entrance. You squirm a bit, and she bites her lip, the look in her eye is dangerous, it’s fucking deadly the way it makes your heart stop for a moment. 
Your eyes are glossed over, lost in lust as your eyes flicker downwards. She's teasing, sliding the head through her folds and she just watches you with that desperate look in your eyes. "Please" You nearly whimper and thats all it takes for her to sink downwards. A throaty moan escapes your lips and a softer moan comes from hers as she meets your body, ass flush to your upper thighs. "Fuck me" You mutter, and you mean it both in a literal and figurative way.
She takes it literally and leans forward, holding onto your shoulders as she raises her hips then slams them back down onto your body. The creaking sound that the bed makes, the slapping noise that fills your ears when your skin meets and the filthy squelch that comes from between your legs almost sends you over the edge, like all the way. "You fill me up.. so... fucking good" she bites her lip harder as she begins to get in a rhythm, bouncing on you, up and down.
You hold onto her waist, thumbs pressing into her abs as you squeezed tightly. "Oh, babe you're so fucking good at that" You praise her, a breathy groan leaving your mouth as you begin to feel the heat build in the pit of your stomach. Yunjin slows down a bit and grabs your hands, you allow her to take them off her waist as she intertwines your fingers. She pins them to the bed and leans over, using them for support as she picks up the pace.
She does it so she can feel the way your hands grip hers as a reaction to the way she clenches and rotates her hips. It feels so fucking good, so incredible, so mind numbing to be inside of her. Then not to mention the view, the most beautiful girl in the world, naked, looking at you like you're the only one that exists in her world. Perky tits bouncing and jiggling up and down with the way she's riding you. "I.. fucking.. love you" You choke the words out and she leans closer, a satisfied smile on her face.
Yunjin kisses your lips, not for too long, just as long as you can keep up with and she giggles just a bit, her breath hitching when she slams her hips down again. "I love you" She closes her eyes, then puts her head down into the crook of your neck. You know she's chasing another orgasm, but you have no clue how you're gonna hold back until then.
Now she's squeezing your hands harder than you're squeezing, maybe she's closer than you thought "Jen, baby i'm about to.." You can't even finish your sentence as she begins to bounce harder, faster on your body. "cum" You manage to say, but it comes out silent and you doubt she could hear anything over her own moans. 
"Not yet baby, just a little longer" She begs, her voice sounding so erotic as she does. It doesn't help in the slightest.
But you try your hardest to get through without cumming, your labored breaths heaving directly into her ears. "I can't.. i'm going to cum in this... fucking-" She cuts you off with a loud moan, one that goes directly into your ear and it lets you know that she's reached her peak before you. Yunjin keeps going though, riding you mindlessly as if her mind was disconnected from her body. She's cumming, babbling in your ear as everything goes blank and you can feel every quiver inside.
Your body begins to shake as you reach the edge "Don't stop, don't fucking" You grunt as your cock begins to pulse and throb the pleasure almost too much to bare as you begin to paint her walls white with cum. "Fuck" You groan, low and long as you keep shooting endless ropes, fucking it deeper inside her as you thrust your hips up to stuff and fill her as much as possible. She stops moving and at some point you're no longer cumming.
The two of you just lay there, a hot and sweaty mess and a tangle of limbs and skin. It takes a moment for you to squeeze her hands which were still in yours, signaling that you were going to slide from under her. So you do and she rolls over and sits up, you lean in to leave another peck on her lips. "You know, the bath tub is huge and it could probably fit the both of us" 
Yunjin smiles and gets off of the bed, she looks back at you then walks off towards the bathroom swaying her hips purposely in a way that made your heart throb. You get up and go after her, walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. It was then when you realized how cold the room was and you begin to shiver a bit. "Make it hot... like, super hot" You tell her as she goes to turn the water on.
You watch the steam rise from the tub where the hot water begins to pool and you allow Yunjin to get in first. Then you get in after her, sitting behind her with your legs spread. She lets her body rest against you her back to your chest and everything's warm again. You rest your chin on her shoulder "No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens... I'll never fall out of love with you" You wrap yours arms around her torso.
"How are you so reassuring?" She hums, closing her eyes as the water slowly rises, warming the both of you up even more.
"I'm just honest" You shrug, your voice soft in the way she likes.
"I love you" 
"I love you more" You move to kiss her cheek, then she turns her face some more so you can capture her lips. No matter if the angle is kind of awkward, it still feels so right, so comfortable.
-
The next morning feels like a dream because you wake up and Yunjin's head is on your chest. Your head turns over to the digital clock on the nightstand and you see that it's eleven in the morning. You rub small circles in her back and you just lay there. For the first time in a while you feel true peace, matching her slow breaths with yours as you stared into nothing. 
When there's no rush to leave, no rush to get up, you didn't even have to stay awake. It would make no difference if you just went back to sleep and stayed like that for the end of the day. You close your eyes again, to do just that when you feel Yunjin start to stir.
A low, raspy noise escapes her lips as she does "Babe" she calls you.
"Yeah?"
She takes a deep breath in, finally opening her eyes as she gets to look at the clock "What time does breakfast end?"
"I think like twelve" You start rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and you sit up when Yunjin rolls herself off of you. She stands up and goes over to the phone where theres a menu of all the different breakfast items they had for order. 
Yunjin gets so focused that she doesn't even realize that you got out of the bed until she feels your arms snaking around her waist. You kiss her neck "Do you know what you want?" You question her.
"Yeah, you?"
She chews on her bottom lip as she flips through the pages "What are you getting?"
"The typical pancakes with eggs and bacon, a western staple breakfast if you ask me" You shrug.
"You're so bland" Yunjin jokes.
"I might be bland, but I managed to get you to love me. You like bland" You tease.
"Maybe I do"
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violetszone · 1 year ago
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Whats your kink?
Charles x fem!reader
From this request
Summary: You've been trying to find Charles' kinks for a long time But you didn't learn this until you started taking birth control pills.
A/n: again, i don't know what i wrote,i'm too tired to read and edit it sorry...
WARNINGS: Google translated French,breeding, Quick finish,not edited writing, fully smut, unprotected sex (God, please use protection my friends.)
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You always thought Charles had some weird kink and you'd find it The reason for taking this as a mission was that it started like this: One New Year's Eve, while you were playing a game with your friends, someone asked Charles this question, and he stared at you for a few seconds and then answered no. Since that day you've been trying to bring this up without letting him know.
Of course, finding this was harder than you expected because you were at the very beginning of your relationship when it happened, and now you had been dating for almost 2 years.You tried everything you thought would excite him, but they couldn't. Until one day you came home from the doctor's check-up and said that you started taking birth control pills.
You could have sworn you saw a twinkle in Charles' eyes at that moment, even if only for a brief moment.Of course, nothing happened for a while until you started using the pill regularly and one night the lust for both of you became unbearable.
Charles had returned from a meeting in Italy and you were waiting for him at home. The moment he got home, he left his backpack at the door and pulled you towards him and pressed you to his lips, kissing you passionately. Before you knew it, you were entering your bedroom, half-naked in Charles' arms.Charles kissed your entire body, licking and biting the sensitive spots he knew would turn you on, you were burning underneath him.
When he put his hand into the bedside drawer, he frowned and got up, cursing. You looked at Charles, out of breath "what's wrong?"Charles rummaged through the drawer for a while and looked at you with disappointment and sat down next to you. "I'm sorry my love, there is no condom, I must have forgotten that, I'm sorry"
You rose up on your arms, looked at him and spoke hesitantly. "I'm on pills you know that-" Charles bit his lower lip, examined your face, then shook his head no "There is no guarantee and it will leave you in doubt, I can't do this" you put your hand on his shoulder and climbed onto his lap, "but I can do it. Please Charles, I miss you so much." While you leave little pecks on Charles' lips and neck he moaned softly and his hands came up to your waist.
You whispered "please" against his lips as he slowly pulled you away from him He laid you back down on the bed and returned to his previous position, stroking your hair. “I have to do whatever my sweet thing wants.” While his words made you smile, Charles' hand slipped into your underwear, causing you to moan. "Look at this, is this all for me Y/N hm tell me. Do I make you this wet every time I touch you?" You moaned and closed your eyes as Charles's two fingers entered you. When one of your hands reflexively tried to hold Charles' arm, Charles pinned your hands to the bed with his free hand.
He fingered you, giving you brutal pleasure as you writhed and moaned underneath him. Just as you were about to reach climax, Charles pulled his hand away, you made a sound between a moan and a whimper and opened your eyes. While he took off his trousers and underwear with one hand, he sucked the fingers of his other hand that gave you pleasure "What a gorgeous girl you are hm. You will cum on my cock, beauty, you heard? I will make you cum on my raw cock. Look how excited you are.Do you want my cock beauty? "
You moaned and moved your hips towards Charles.Charles rubbed his dick with one hand and pressed your hips to the bed with his other hand "behave" You whined when he growled "Fuck, don't you have those tits, you're destroying me, especially when those tight dresses squeeze them, my god i want to fuck them some time" He pinched your nipple with two fingers, making you moan, He came closer and licked and sucked and bit your tits ""Cha-ah!" You made a sound that was a mix of moaning and screaming, and he put one hand over your mouth.
"shhh be quiet beauty, we wouldn't want the neighbors to hear what a loud slut you are, would we?" As your eyes filled with tears of pleasure, you nodded your approval. Charles took his hand from your mouth, connected his lips with yours and kissed you passionately. "Let me love you baby" While kissing your neck, he started to slide his length into your wetness.
"oh fuck Charles...o- oh my god" When Charles was completely inside you, he paused and looked into your eyes, "fuck sweetie, this is heaven." Charles slowly started to move inside you. Feeling each other completely for the first time was very different for both of you, you felt like you were going to die.
As Charles' movements speed up, you felt yourself getting closer to climax and dug your nails into his back. "My fuckkk please omg! Charles I'm gonna-" Charles moaned as he squeezed your breast with his free hand "cum baby, cum on my cock" While your back was arched , you held on to Charles's arm, which held your chest. While your body was shaking, you closed your eyes and moaned.Charles' movements became sharper and harder as you cum.
"Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum, fuck, I'm gonna fill you up hmmhhh. Putain, tu es si sexy, je vais remplir ta taille de mes bébés. Let me fucking breed you" (Fuck, you're so hot, I'll fill your belly with my babies) You just moaned what Charles said, you were out of breath, after a few seconds he started to cum inside you, He came deep down to the last drop.Then hugged you tiredly without putting all his weight on you he gave you a kiss on your cheek, came out and lay down next to you.
You started laughing as you stared at the ceiling, out of breath. Charles frowned and looked at you “what's the matter?” You turned sideways and placed a kiss on Charles' arm. "Breeding kink. Really? I would never have guessed.I've been trying for a year in vain " Charles rubbed his face with his hand and looked into your eyes again. "Have you been doing those weird sex things for a year to find my kink? God baby.." he chuckled, you rotated your hips and placed one of your legs over Charles's. Both of your pleasure juices were still flowing out of you. Charles groaned at the sight and closed his eyes.
"Omg you really have a breedink kink" Charles put his finger to your lips "shut up, god" you giggled your head on his shoulder "and my tits? seriously?" This time Charles took his arm off you and tried to turn around, and you laughed. "Come on Charles I'm just kidding...I actually liked it really" Charles turned and hugged me "hey Charlie, stop looking at my ass please" Charles laughed at your words, inhaled your scent and pulled back from the hug and played with your hair, "I'm sorry, it was just so beautiful." You put a small peck on his lips and smiled "i know baby thank you for that" You leaned your head on his chest again and started to doze off while he caressed your hair and kissed your head.
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grimrester · 9 months ago
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i am really so sorry to continue harping on about the watcher entertainment streaming service. but this kind of stuff (internet content as a business & marketing it as such) is truly my obsession, and i think i will implode if i don't talk about some of the takes i'm seeing.
i'd like to emphasize again i don't have strong feelings about watcher either way. i like ghost files, i watch mystery files sometimes, i watched worth it back in the buzzfeed days. i don't watch any of their shows religiously.
anyway, here's the main things i keep seeing crop up and my thoughts on each:
"watcher has 25 employees they have to pay, and employing people in this economy is good, so we should be banding together to pay them."
employing people is good if you currently have the capacity to pay them. i checked watcher's linkedin page, and many of their employees were hired within the last year or two. if they hired people they cannot pay with the business model they had before, something is seriously wrong with their internal bookkeeping/decision making. it means they either didn't know they couldn't pay these people long term, or they did know and were content with risking newly hired employees' livelihoods on a huge content pivot in the next year.
of note is that none of their employees' titles have anything to do with managing the finances of the company. they are the size of a small business but have no one aside from the figureheads of the company in charge of their finances.
this is the kind of company decision making that leads to downsizing and layoffs, which can be devastating. but you know what's worse than laying off a portion of your staff? laying off everyone because your business is going under.
"not everyone can afford the subscription, but those who can should pay it to support the watcher team."
no. $6/month for a couple hours of content (depending on what shows you actively watch and the natural fluctuation of their release schedule) is a fundamentally bad value. i can pay that much for a few movies on amazon. i can pay that much for dropout, if i want to support a smaller business instead.
and to be totally frank, even if people do sign up, i don't think they'd get enough to compete with the amount they get through patreon/sponsorships. and the fact that they didn't know how many of their subscribers would realistically sign up is a bad sign.
a pretty good conversion rate of free to paid subscribers of a service or content is 3% (usually accomplished through a free trial). given the very poor reception of the announcement, let's say about 1% of their 3 mil youtube subs pay for their service. that's 30k people paying for their new platform. that's $180k a month in their pocket.
(they currently only have 12k subs on patreon so we are being generous here.)
a sponsorship deal (based on my googling, i have less direct experience with this) is anywhere from $10-50 per 1000 views. they've gotten about 1 mil views on their last few videos. 3 mil subs is nothing to shake a stick at, but let's say they're on the lower end of the payscale at $25 per 1000 views. that's $25k a video, $100k a month if they release 1 video a week. their lowest patreon tier is 5 bucks, so even if all their subs are at that tier, that's another $60k, so $160k total. it's entirely likely they're bringing in much more than that when you factor in merch, adsence, etc.
did anyone on their team crunch numbers on how many people would need to sub to make the switch worth it? did anyone do market research on how many people they could convert to paid users? because if not, if they really didn't have a game plan for this, the subscription service was always doomed to fail.
"this was their only option to continue making the content they want to make, with the production value they want."
i watched their announcement video. a key point in that video is that they have done sponsored videos and that's what used to pay for their content, but they did not like the amount of creative control the sponsor had over the content.
look, i get that's no fun. we'd all love creatives to be able to make whatever they want. but when you are a small business with a team of employees relying on you, you have to think about making money, sometimes at the cost of creative liberties.
and they had so many other options to make money for the projects they want to make without jumping to a subscription platform.
they could have started actually promoting their patreon, and maybe done some restructuring of the tiers. why not a highly produced, special series just for patreon members? or a special high-budget episode of each series, while the main series is lower budget?
bite the bullet and continue taking sponsorship deals on some less-produced shows, while axing sponsorships from the ones the crew feels more passionate about.
schedule larger, blowout-production shows only when they can be afforded. this is what Notorious Amongus Guy streamer jerma does. he saves up for big productions like his baseball or dollhouse streams, so he can really get creative with them.
they had other options and they've tried very little, especially when you compare them to other content house business at similar scales. try guys and good mythical morning both put out significant content with significant staff, and have had to diversify their income streams with auxiliary products, shows with widely varied levels of production, etc. but it seems to be working for them. watcher has merch and that's about it, and seems to only want to increase the production quality of ALL their shows.
really, all this just boils down to a terrible business decision. it's hard to say if the watcher team is working with a consultant or anyone outside of their team, but they certainly don't have anyone internally who is experienced with running a business like this. to me, it seems very much like they got in a room together and did some extremely optimistic income ballparking with no research behind it.
and that might have been fine for three dudes running a channel alone, but if they're a business, they have to start making decisions like one.
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dunmeshistash · 7 months ago
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You know I studied Japanese for like a couple of months over 7(?) years ago so while I can understand it a bit I'm awful at reading and don't have a big vocabulary.
That being said I've been attempting to translate/re-translate some of the extras cause I wanna know whats actually being said. So basically I write it down on google, get a feel for what it's saying from the machine translation/read the romaji and if I don't recognize the words I do a google search to maybe figure out what it means in context (doing my best here).
All of this to say I wanted to re-translate this little interaction between Fleki and Lycion, cause of his expression here.
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Idk why but "You in there, boss?" sounded strange to me? I rewrote it on google (it has a writing recognition thingy I use to draw the kanji I dont know) and it gave me this
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Which makes even less sense! I wondered if maybe I wrote the kanji/hiragana wrong tried to translate each by itself and it didnt help, googled what "Yatteru" meant and only got "doing it" so I finally googled the whole thing in japanese 大将やってる?
First result looked promising, looks like one of those things explaining expressions/slang? (Very familiar with those)
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I copied the part that had the expression I wanted and dropped it on google translate
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She's doing that thing where you walking into a ramen stall and hold the flags to the side, I love them so much 😭
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Anyway this super convoluted explanation is how I try to get an accurate translation while not actually knowing the language 👍 (Don't do it like me, actually study kids)
I don't know how I would have translated while keeping that meaning, that's why I try my best to check how things are said in the original language (and why I usually watch subbed, I can kinda understand spoken anime japanese a lil bit so I get more contexts along with the subs)
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cc-kote · 1 year ago
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Nine people I'd like to get to know better
WOOPS I did not have time to do this for the past like, week but I've been wanting to bc I love silly little memes like this. Tytyty @ithillia for the tag :3
Last song: All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks by La Dispute (It makes me think about Fives and it hurts so fucking much) 
Favorite colour: GREEN!! and also blue 
Last movie/TV Show: TCW of course, I had a Bad Autism Time™️ and my gf put on the fucking Umbara Arc to calm me down. It worked like a charm what the fuck is wrong w me lmfaooo. 
Sweet/Spicy/Savory: All of the above but spice hurts me. I do it anyway tho, mama raised a little bitch but she didn't raise a quitter lmfaoo. 
Relationship status: So fuckin down bad for my girlfriend hhh 
Last thing you googled: fuckjgn AO3 LMAOOO 
Current obsession: clonesclonesclonesclones forever. I haven't had a special interest/hyperfixation this deep since I was like 12-14 so like this is one of the most important things in my life tbh. Specifically like thinking about how their culture would work, and their solidarity, internal conflicts, shared trauma and how that would relate to those things. Their ideas about personal and cultural identity and how that would vary individually. Things like how their upbringing must have felt, how that affected them and who they became later in life, the things they're taught vs what they truly come to believe once they're out on the field, the psychological effects of O66 on the clones who survived and the devastating impact it must have had- Bro stop me or I'll keep going forever like. I'm in deep and tbh? I wouldn't change it for the world. 
NPT: LMFAO bold of this title to assume that I know 9 people on this site, or am brave enough to tag ppl I haven't talked to often fhsjdmksmf SO if you see this consider yourself tagged. Yes, You. idc if we've never talked It's probably bc I'm too baby, so (unless u don't feel like it) do it 👀 also @mamuzzy and @whatislifewithoutangst if y'all haven't already and wanna do this here u go! 
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uh-oh-its-bird · 9 months ago
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There are so many naruto time travel fics out there but what I need SPECIFICALLY is an ANBU era team of Kakashi, Tenzo, Itachi, and Shisui getting flung into the founders era.
Like. Ok just looking from the political side of it that's;
A) 2 very young and VERY powerful Uchiha's (one of which is the future clan head!! Politics!!)
B) A very fucked up baby mokuton user who's still in the middle of being deprogrammed and can totally pass for Senju
C) The free wild card that is Hatake clan lore on top of having a stolen sharingan. On top of *that* him being the team leader of a team of kids who, in the time period context, should both be at eachothers throats and probably not be expected to obey the commands of someone not only from another clan but a way smaller one
Theres SO much potential there!! So many political implications in virtually ALL of the directions!!!!
Yk what as I'm typing this out I'm having ✨️ideas✨️ so let's make some story points to sort those out:
• I think itd be neat to have this happen like. A year? Ish? Before the massacre? So age wise, and full disclaimer I'm referencing Google and Wikipedia rn so I could totally be wrong, I think that's :
Kakashi (18)
Tenzo (17)
Itachi (12)
Shisui (15)
Could be wrong about the ages but honestly it's my world you're just living in it, so.
Then me going totally purely off of my own headcannons, were going to say they came in a about a year before Izuna died and place the founders ages as:
Madara (23)
Hashirama (23)
Izuna (19)
Tobirama (18)
Big fan of Tobirama being the youngest between the 4 but projecting the aura of someone as old as like. Idk, however old Madara is. Very funny to me, 10/10
• I'm personally a big fan of dogteeth kakashi so we're running with that all the way home. Also a huge fan of the "Hatake's are a distant, more feral cousin of Inuzuka clan" hc along with some sprinklings of "back in the day they had a bit of a Reputation(tm) for being a 'lill wild, and everyone generally tries to avoid them. Which isn't too much of a problem because theyre a very small out of the way clan from Iron, they just have a big reputation in contrast to their size.
In more modern times tho, along with (obviously) having dwindled down to a single depressed teenager, they've become a lot tamer over the years due to village life. Kakashi is a Hatake, 100%, but he is NOT up to the standards of this time. Which becomes a bit funny when people see him, go "oh FUCK it's a Hatake" and then start edging slowly towards the door like he's about to rip their throat out with his teeth. Meanwhile he's standing there like 🧍‍♂️"am I that ugly."
Give me a scene where, finally used to this reaction to him from the general shinobi population, the team starts to use it to their advantage.
"Give us the scroll or we'll let the Hatake off the leash to have his fun with you. He's been awfully hungry latley you know, hasn't had fresh meat in days"
Kakashi, feeling kind of stupid, gave his best growl.
It caused an almost immediate, embaressed flush to rise to his face, but he didn't let up. It sounded more like an almost pathetic puppy growl than anything to his ears, but apparently it was enough to convince the trembling enemy nin because he slowly lifted the scroll up in offering.
Wow. Now he couldn't tell if he was embaressed for himself or for this guy.
Probably both to be honest.
• So like. Itachi is the clan heir. That's big. That's important. Let's do something with that.
First off, I had a great time reading this one fic (tho I don't even remember what the fic itself was about now, oops) where a plot point of it was how Sasuke is just a walking stereotype of main house Uchiha. Like people look at him and they don't just go "oh that's an Uchiha." They go "oh fuck that's an UCHIHA Uchiha." He's so fucking painfully, obviously related to the very tippy top of the clan that anyone not blind can tell. It's in the way he looks, it's in the way he talks and treats those around him, it's in the way he fucking holds himself. You look at him and every other stereotype about the Uchiha clan is there in big, bold letters. (On top of that he's also a dead wringer for Izuna, which I'm such a sucker for and desperatley wish people would do more with)
So like let's give that to Itachi here because it's so fun for several reasons.
First off; Sasuke in this is like. Straight up a doppelganger of Izuna, just a few generations apart. They could be twins. Itachi, as I'm sure you are aware, is Sasuke's big brother. So let's take some liberties and say that Itachi could absoloutley pass as a blood sibling to Izuna and Madara.
He is however 12, so we're also going to say that the only people who get to make this connection is anyone who's seen the siblings when they were also at a similar age.
On top of that however he has the 'walking amalgamation of all the stereotypes of the main Uchiha house' so anyone who isn't blind will look at him and assume he's somewhere in the sphere of 'important main house person' tho who really knows how distant the relation may be exactly. No one !! That's who !!!
Second; He's the fucking clan heir!! What the fuck!! This bit would have the most impact after all the messy time travel reveals when things have settled down a bit, so it'll sit in the back pocket for a bit. Save it for some fun shaking up later down the line so we don't run out of all the fun reveals too fast and bore the readers, yk?
When it is brought up tho it'd be fun to maybe have some fucky Itachi and Madara mutual understandings of the way things work.
• So. Madara is like a bit of a scary bed time story to Uchiha children, right? Like. "Ooo make sure you don't get too obsessive or fall too deep into your grief and always stay loyal to the village or you'll end up just like Madara!!"
Something something Uchiha-Village relationships are tense as hell, something something Madara fucking over a lot of the clan with his whole. Everything., Something something scapegoat and old stories, something something 'people have probably been talking a lot more about how "god dammit this all started with Madara" in recent years.'
Now with that in mind let's take a look of what our time travelers think of Madara:
Itachi is a good Konoha soldier. Itachi (as has been very much fucking proven) would rather beat a possible problem before it even exists with a hammer till it dies an ugly bloody death than even RISK it blossoming into a proper problem. Itachi does not like Madara. Itachi personally, quietly thinks they should maybe wait till the village is formed then carefully arrange a little accident for him before he goes off the rails. He, even more quietly, maybe even thinks it would be a kindness. Allow him to be remembered well by the village instead of scorned.
Shisui I think is cautiously optimistic about him. He's the kind of guy who gives the benefit of the doubt, who weighs the options, risk and reward, but includes things like hope and compassion in his calculations. Yes, Madara was a uhh. Thing. That happened. But in every story his big blow up always come from one specific event; Izuna's death. So if they stop that from happening, wouldn't it secure both a better future for them and Madara? The history books never went into detail about Izuna, he doesn't know what he's like, but maybe his involvement in the future, on Konoha's side, could lead to even more profits for them long term. At the end of the day he's not against killing Madara (though to be clear, they are at first operating on trying to avoid all interactions with historical events and return home without touching things) but it'd be nice, to manage to get a happy ending for everyone. Unrealistic maybe, but nice.
Mmmm hear me out actually, maybe Shisui, after interacting with him a bit, finds that Madara reminds him of Itachi too. They definatley both have that "I would do unspeakable things to even dream of my loved just one more time" energy, if you know what I mean
Anyways; Kakashi and Tenzo are both neutral on Madara. Yes, they learned about how he betrayed the village when young just like everyone else, but they weren't getting the bed time stories and "do this and you'll end up just like him" warnings like the Uchiha's. They're possibly leaning into negative but are detached from the situation enough to just go "well he hasn't done it yet and his brother is still alive so he won't any time soon" and be done with it
• Now, on the the total opposite side of the spectrum you have Hashirama and Tobirama. People are brought up in Konoha to fucking IDOLIZE these guys. You can not tell me our team of time travelers wouldn't be at least a little awed to speak with them.
I think Tenzo would be the most wide eyed about Hashirama, both for the baseline "holy shit that's the Shodai Hokage" and also that fun juicy mokuton user imposter syndrome he has going on for him. That guys DNA is inside his body!!! Holy shit wait does that mean if someone did a blood relation test with them he might read as being related to him?? Fuck were gonna pocket that for now but like. Mmmmm potential.
I'd say Itachi is the most hesitant about Tobirama but again, village loyalist, so.
You know what tho maybe Shisui is the most hesitant about him (though still largely positive) he both def grew up looking up to him but can also see the anti-Uchiha policies people inact now with the implications that Tobirama would have approved of it. He doesn't know if he would, but like, he has to wonder.
Kakashi is probably the most normal about them (and also has experience in being close to a hokage (Minato) to know that at the end of the day they are painfully human) Don't get me wrong, he's still in some sort of awe! He might get a little lightheaded at the thought of seeing the God of Shinobi in proper battle, or the possibility to see the famed genius of Tobirama with all the different jutsu's he's invented. You can't tell me Kakashi didn't spend a little extra time reading about him when he was trying to make Chidori. Honestly I'm gonna roll with that and say he had a bit of a phase as a kid where he was a total fan boy. Maybe sprinkle in the good old HalfHatake!Tobirama hc to add some faint daydreams a lonley babykashi had after his father's death, about getting to meet him as family. Like cmon, little genius idolizing and projecting on some big history figure only to find out they're actually related? Can you say potential?
Anyways he did eventually grow out of the phase, probably got unattached to it all and lost interest after the whole "losing everything he loved" bit of his life. And at the end of the day, he doesn't have any real complex personal hang ups on the founders like the others do. Thus, most normal.
• And then my favorite most special boy, Izuna !! He's for sure the one they're all most neutral about. He's not actually taught about in the academy? There's probably some throw away line about him in some history books somewhere, but he died young and was quickly buried by the looming shadow of Konoha. The only real knowledge had about him in modern times is just a vague "Yeah he got killed by Tobirama which lead to peace being made but also lead to Madara losing his shit"
Poor Izuna he's the linchpin for it all but was left an unremarkable footnote of history. My boy deserves so much better
Tenzo doesn't actually even know who he is, that boy got bare minimum education under Danzo and Izuna was NOT included.
Itachi and Shisui mmmaybe have some small little fun fact here or there buried in stories from the older members of the clans but like. It's gonna amount to just "yeah he had a great katon" and thats about it.
I WILL SAY HOWEVER. Itachi sees him and instantly is that one PTSD dog meme. Sasuke is a BABY but holy shit Izuna looks exactly like he'd expect him to grow up as and it's making him FEEL THINGS. Also he's so bratty little brother coded !! He's an entire 7 years older than Itachi but Ifachi keeps fucking up and trying to big brother him it's embaressing.
And ofc Itachi didn't go into the first meeting thinking he'd see some weird older mirror version of his beloved baby brother who he misses and worries about very very much. So like. There's for sure going to be some conflict there. If their first meeting is a scuffle (which it probably will be) I think Itachi would keep hesitating to attack. On full run away mode. Which is probably for the best bc he shouldn't try to fight Izuna anyways honey he's like double your bodyweight and you're strong but you aren't THAT strong.
• Pointing back at both the 'Itachi does not like Madara and has quiet thoughts about how it'd possibly be in everyone's interest to just kill him' and the 'Itachi and Madara quietly bond over being clain head/heir during stressful times (w pressure from the elders especially)
I can see 2 outcomes of a potential bonding conversation with them:
1) They come to understand eachother better.
Madara wants to be on good terms, he looks at this kid and sees one of his brothers eyes and the others quiet determination. He can tell Itachi doesn't like him for some reason, and it's frustrating because he doesn't know why. He wants him to like him. He wants to be able to offer his hand and have it taken. It hurts, to be looked at with such suspicion from a face that has traces of Izuna's.
Meanwhile Itachi . . . Itachi looks at Madara and he sees someone who gets it. Gets it like no one ever has. It scares him. He looks up at this man, this horror story he's been told to fear becoming, and he sees himself. And this realization shakes him. It makes him think, makes him wonder. He's so, so sure of his loyalty to Konoha. More sure than he is of anything else in the world. But . . . But if something happened to Sasuke, if he had to choose—
And maybe it softens something in him too, along with the (honestly healthy) dose of fear. It forms a little crack in his shell, just enough to maybe, maybe let Madara through. Just a hair.
Or 2) we pull one of those "The conversation ends with them agreeing verbally but mentally they're on 2 VERY different notes."
Madara, nodding and looking at Itachi meaningfully: "Yeah it can be hard, but all we can really do is try to make the world a safer place for the ones we love. (To create Konoha, to keep my clan safe. Izuna safe. And now to keep you safe too.)
Itachi, nodding slowly: "Yeah. No matter how hard it is (even though I think I understand you more than anyone else Ive ever met) we have to try to make the world a safer place (by killing you in your sleep once Konoha is formed) for the ones we love (My clan. My village. Sasuke.)"
• Also pointing back at the 'Hatake warring clan era reputation,' the 'Tobirama is half Hatake' and also now pointing at Tobirama's title as the White Demon. Small thing but it'd be neat if there was some small throw away line that the nickname lowkey started in part because of the absoloutley terrifying reputation of the Hatake combined with Tobirama's own Everything(tm) like it just had some influence on how some view him. Give me Uchiha's making dog jokes ab him it'll be funny
• Ok but now the actual plot thoughts. Yeah I know I kept you waiting sorry about that.
So time travel! Probably due to a mission gone wrong. Some ruins or some ancient crumbling scroll that wasn't even supposed to do fucking time travel but was so old and corroded that it somehow managed to transform into a whole other seal by pure bad luck. Or good luck I guess, considering it could have just turned into a nuke.
Our favorite team of disasters are very very alarmed !!! What the fuck !!! Obviously they don't default to thinking time travel, but they immediatley know something is wrong. The landscape has changed, though the big landmarks are still there. The mission was complete anyways with no injuries so they just retreat to Konoha. Only oops !! It's not fucking there!!!
Queue alarm.
Shisui is the first one to suggest time travel because he's quirky like that. And there's a very easy way to confirm this theory.
(Also we're going to say that Konoha's location is a valley a few miles out from the Naka River that borders the Senju / Uchiha territories.)
This is convenient because that verification method involves checking in on where Itachi and Shisui know the old Uchiha compound should rest.
They do it in full stealth mode, the second they saw Konoha was missing Kakashi as team leader decided they'd treat the land as enemy territory. They all agreed ofc, for all they knew this WAS enemy territory now.
And, ofc, yeah!! There's the old Uchiha compound!! Being active!!! There are people there!!!
"What are the odds Fugaku-sama decided to have the clan return to their homeland for ahh, cultural enrichment?" Kakashi asked weakly.
"Time travel." Was the only reply he got from Shisui, whispered reverently as the boy vibrated with excitement on the branch.
Itachi just gave him a look, radiating a level of dissaproving disbelief that no normal 12 year old should be able to make. Kakashi would know, he was that not-normal 12 year old once.
From there they decide a no interference policy. Hands off guys!! They probably debate it tho, like, a good amount. They all have ✨️opinions✨️ except maybe Tenzo who's lowkey still in the middle of trying to learn how to be a person and is following Kakashi's lead 99% of the time. Especially since they're still in mission mode and this is like a super serious discussion and he really does know the least ab the founders overall.
They probably debate the merits of going to Uzushiogakure bc seal help but it's really far and they don't actually have like, just any leverage with them. They already decided not to fuck with the future so it isn't like they can trade secrets and warnings. At least if shit happens here they have some plausible deniability, being, yk, 2 uchiha's and a senju-passing guy with Mokuton. Kakashi's kinda fucked tho in that regard but he isn't going to be doing the party ANY favors with his clan heritage.
Which means it's time to potentially get desperate enough to interact with Tobirama !!! Which will inevitably lead to them bumping into a Uchiha patrol or something!!! I don't know honestly
• Anyways want Hashirama and Tenzo to interact. He has so many issues like holy shit. Let Hashirama give him the hug he deserves. I want him to violently adopt him. New brother acquired!!!
I said before but Tenzo is still reprogramming from ROOT. Let Hashirama impact that! Let him help! They can make flower crowns and photosynthesize together idk
Hashirama would be so happy to have another mokuton user, I think they should be able to sense eachother extra strong and like 'ping' off of eachothers chakra, it'll be fun
▪︎ I'm not thinking toooo hard about power scaling and this is fanfiction so a) don't quote me on this and b) for the love of all that is holy don't take my words as gospel
But for this fic specifically I'm ranking the founders and Team Ro, weakest to strongest (in a clean, fair fight head on w no time to prepare) :
Itachi (he's fucking 12 guys. But also he is like. FRACTIONS under Tenzo and Shisui. If he were 13 I'd let him be above or at the same level but like. He's 12. Cmon.)
Tenzo - Shisui (they're like JUST under the next 2 tho like seconds behind)
Izuna - Tobirama
Kakashi ( by the skin of his fucking teeth and the advantage that is his stupid amount of jutsu's and lack of self preservation)
Madara - Hashirama
And again that's not counting like. The specific situations, time given to prepare, potential dirty tricks they could play (I think the Konoha tricks would play a fraction dirtier than the others, who are slightly more used to big open battles vs the ANBU squad who does all sorts of shit in all sorts of places) plus like. Mental state and team ups.
Tenzo or Shisui couldn't take down Izuna or Tobirama but if they teamed up I'd allow it. Kakashi would get his ass kicked by Hashirama or Madara but he could survive a minutes longer than the others would
Itachi is doing his best
But like
He's 12 guys
I love him and he is terrifyingly competent but he won't win 1 on 1 with anyone unless he has some sort of advantage. Minus Shisui and Tenzo who he does have the advantage of regularly fighting, so.
• I think they do get to go back home in the end. It takes a ton of work tho and they probably do need to get Mito's help with it, Kakashi can show them the seal they got brought here with but it's an ACTUAL one in a trillion miracle it didn't fucking atomize them. So it needs a lot of touch ups
Anyways !!!
I have a little more rattling around in my brain but I'm really tired and also starting to think about other things now so I'm gonna stop here. Might come back and add to it later so stay tuned if you're into that
Full disclaimer I'm not gonna write this. I don't have the proper energy and it'd probably end up being too ambitious of a project if I tried. I'd love to see it happen tho, so like !! Big open invitation to absoloutley anyone who might want to take even a fraction of the ideas I've listed.
@ me if you do tho I wanna see the final product
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nothorses · 1 year ago
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I hope this is okay to ask but I’m pretty desperate and googling stuff has failed me, so do you or one of your followers have recommendations on how to deal with the BO that comes with taking testosterone? I never had BO that couldn’t just be managed by showering enough and putting on just any deodorant but now that I’m taking T I sweat a lot and I smell bad and I nothing I do seems to fix it. My boss has politely mentioned it several times now despite all my effort and it’s so mortifying and embarrassing.
Things I’ve tried and am currently doing include so many different deodorants which I bring to work and reapply, putting baking powder in my shoes, on top of general basic hygiene. But none of it seems to make a dent and it doesn’t help that I can’t really change clothes or shoes throughout the day. I have to wear closed toed shoes and a lab coat and my job is pretty active, plus it’s 10 minutes walk from the parking lot and it’s over 100F or 40 C right now so when I arrive at work I’m already pouring sweat. I also have a large chest so it all gets under my bra and soaks into it and by the end of the day the bottom part of my bra reeks.
I know some ocasional BO on a busy day can’t be helped but none of the other people at work including other male coworkers seem to have the same issue at all, so there’s got to be a solution but I haven’t found it. Im thinking of trying antiperspirants but I also know I need to sweat and I would rather not put my health at risk. So if anyone has something that works for them please let me know bc im really desperate here.
First I want to say: you're not doing anything wrong. You probably just sweat more than some other folks, and that's not your fault, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. I'm gonna give you some ideas to try if you haven't yet, but I don't know how much you've already tried, and it sounds like you've been through a lot already.
I also have always had terrible BO, and the only thing that helped at all pre-T was "prescription strength" deodorant. I honestly have had less of an issue since starting T, weirdly enough, but part of that is also that I physically cannot stand to shower any less frequently than every single morning (not necessarily a good thing lol), and I also started using antibacterial products on my armpits when I shower.
Currently I use benzoyl peroxide body wash on my armpits, which can be drying, but it hasn't caused me issues so far (just look for Panoxyl, other brands have caused irritation for me and my partner both). I used Betadine surgical scrub before that for a bit (you collect weird shit when you work with horses 🤷‍♂️) and that worked well, too- plus it's less likely to irritate skin.
I also find that certain shirts cause me to sweat there more, and those also tend to be the more form-fitting shirts that get up into my armpits. That skin def needs to breathe.
My partner has had trouble with feet/shoes in the past, and he's used cedar shoeforms to mitigate that (cedar is also antibacterial!). He also makes sure any shoes he gets are breathable (not leather), and if they are leather, he gives them at least a day or two between wears. Probably good practice if you notice any kind of smell on any of your shoes.
You mention baking powder, and I'm not sure if you meant baking soda and just mixed them up (which I do all the time lmao) but just in case: if you are using baking powder, the one you want is baking soda.
I don't have much advice for chest sweat, except that you may want to consider bringing an extra bra (and maybe an extra pair of socks if you're noticing it before the end of the day) to change into midway through the day. You can also look for more breathable fabrics in general, especially athletic-wear, which is already designed to help wick sweat and mitigate those issues.
Lastly, I want to stress again that you're not doing anything wrong. Some people have more trouble with this than others, and if you're really struggling in a way nobody around you is, it may be that you've got something going on in your body that they don't have to deal with. This could be a medical thing as well (like acne!!), and there's no shame in seeking medical solutions for it. Talk to your doctor if you can; it sounds like it's causing you distress, and you deserve to be comfortable.
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lennjamin-o7 · 4 months ago
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i don't think i have it in me to watch philza minecraft's too many hours hardcore streams, so I'm just curious- how does he do lore for his hardcore series?
I can give you the info I know, and I am 100% certain there are people who can give more thorough explanations and/or correct me. @rakkuntoast is someone on tumblr who I know is much more informed than me about Philza lore.
Most of Philza's hardcore streams are him building these massively cool builds. But, the Lore of the series is that he is more of an archeologist or historian, discovering these locations and the story behind them.
A lot of the Lore is delivered by him explaining and narrating the story of the world as he builds. Occasionally, he will go through the whole story of the world for new viewers who don't already know. And sometimes, happy accidents or jokes just become a part of the story.
The main lore is this.
The Enderking, a God who ruled the End, was greedy and thought he deserved to be in control of everything, so he set about stealing everything for himself.
He tried to pull in parts of the Nether, but was stopped by the Blaze Empress, goddess of the Nether. Part of the Nether is still affected by this tussle, seen in the Nethervoid build. Also, during this clash, two of the Blaze Empress's BEST warriors known as He and She were separated. They were in love, but never confessed to each other their feelings. Now they are just lava pools, separated forever. (He and She were added because Kristin convinced Phil to put a smiley face in a lava pool and the Lore sprung from there).
Then, there is Flowerfall. Flowerfall was the home of the Ocean Overlord (Affectionately called Ocean Himbo by the Crows and I had to actually google what his title was because I couldn't think of it other than Himbo). The Ocean Overlord was a god of, well, the ocean. He lived in this massive underwater palace. When the Enderking was stealing parts of the world, the Ocean Overlord was asleep. He was asleep through the whole War, actually. And the Enderking nearly ripped his house out from under him! It was only another deity, Rose, who stopped the Enderking from stealing the Ocean Overlord's house.
The Gods (Minus beloved Himbo) fought against the Enderking and kicked him out of their realms. I'm not remembering exactly, but I think that in this tussle and the return of the Ocean Overlord's home, the sea flooded the End, creating Endlantis (someone correct me on this, if its wrong). The Enderking was slain (however, he's a god so he's not REALLY dead). His corpse lies underneath Endlantis, always possible that he could return.
There are a ton of details that are added onto this, but those details are really only fleshed out in one-off moments within Phil's streams. Like, Phil adding a tree at Spawn where the Blaze Empress and Rose send each other gifts and messages because they are such good friends (Crows know they are gal pals, even if Phil doesn't confirm it). Others are derived from accidents like the Battle of Endlantis, which was where multiple dragons were accidentally spawned, and Phil had to kill them off. Or when Phil lost his trident in the void, he made it big and existant in the newest season as if it had transcended dimensions.
There are other gods that we haven't been introduced to, as well. I think there are 2 more that he hasn't named. However, yeah, its kind of hard to keep up with all of the Lore if you aren't able to constantly watch it. I know there is a really good video of Philza explaining his Hardcore Lore to, I THINK, Slimecicle? But I couldn't find it. If anyone knows where it is, please link yes!
Anyways, I hope that answered your question 💚💚💚💚
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alotofpockets · 5 months ago
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Not scared | Mary Earps x Reader
Where Mary isn't a fan of horror, but you love a good horror game
A/n: This was requested with reader playing FNAF, which I have never played. So, if the little game play I wrote is wrong, blame Google :)
Woso masterlist | Words: 1k
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Horror was your go to genre. Movies, shows, games, if it involved horror you would check it out. Your girlfriend never liked horror, though she tried for you. She had watched a few horror movies with you at the start of your relationship, but she ended up crawling into your side for comfort and closing her eyes most of the movie. Not that you minded of course. Horror wasn't for everyone, but she tried for you and that was enough for you.
When you started living together, you decided that you would watch and play your horror stuff when Mary was out of the house. So, on your days off while Mary would be training, you were often found watching a horror movie or playing a horror game.
Your latest obsession was Five Nights at Freddy’s. The only game you had been playing for weeks. Just when you started the game up for the day, you heard rain drops hitting the window. “Perfect.” You thought, the rougher the weather outside, the more intense anything horror was.
The rain had started out as a slight drizzle, but quickly escalated into a full rainstorm. The rain came pouring down and hitting your window loudly. You were loving it in combination with your game, but you hoped for your girlfriend that they would be able to train indoors today.
That thought was quickly answered as a soaking wet Mary walked through the front door of your apartment. “Oh love.” You instantly paused your game and ran to the bathroom to grab a towel for her. 
“I take it you weren't training inside then?” She gratefully took the towel you handed her and dried off her face. “They were doing some construction in the gym today, so we kept training outside. The weather update changed and warned of an approaching thunderstorm, so they sent us home just to stay on the safe side.”
Before Mary was able to take her shoes off, a loud clash of thunder sounded outside. “Well, there it is.” You joked. “I’m glad that you are safely back inside.” Mary smiled, grateful as well. She looked over to the tv, “Go continue your game, I'm gonna take a hot shower to warm up a bit.” She pecked your lips before she rushed to the bathroom. After you quickly dried up the water drops that Mary left in her trail, you plopped back down on the couch.
The intensity of the game quickly pulled you back in, and you didn’t even hear your girlfriend approaching. The moment you saw movement in your peripheral vision, you jumped up, making the both of you laugh. “Now you know how I always feel.” Mary said with a big grin on her face.
You went to close off the game, but Mary stopped you. “You can keep playing.” You thought it was kind of Mary to let you keep playing even if the game scared her, but you had also decided that you wouldn’t bother her with horror stuff, not wanting her to be scared. “Are you sure? I don't mind turning it off.” She nodded, “Yeah, just because my plans changed, doesn't mean yours should too.” She sat down beside you and watched you play. 
Your focus returned to your game where the dim flickering lights didn't help much to lighten up the security office your character was sitting in. The comfortable sound of a low humming fan in the background filled your surroundings. But then a loud screech, followed by mechanical laughter filled your living room. Mary, who had been fine up until now, quickly moved closer to you and hid her face into your shoulder, just like with the movies in the early days of your relationship. You smile at the familiar feeling of her tight hold on your arm, and the way she slowly peeked over your shoulder from time to time.
The sudden change in the sound made you check the security cameras, only to catch Chica’s unsettling grin spreading over the screen. The moment it flashed on the screen, you felt Mary getting scared as she jumped up a little.
“Darling, I can turn it off.” Mary sat up and shook her head. “No no, keep playing. I'm not scared.” You chuckled of course she wasn't. You pressed play again and the eerie scene continued. Mary really tried to be brave and continued to watch by peeking over your shoulder from time to time.
As the security footage didn’t help much, because Chica filled the screen, you stepped away from the footage again. The moment you did that the lights that were once still flickering, turned off completely. No more shadows, only the mechanical noises getting closer and closer. The suspense was building up and before something could happen in the game, the sound of a loud thunder filled your home.
Mary jumped up and screamed at the top of her lungs. You chuckle, “Not scared, huh?” You pause the game once again. This time you put the controller to the side and bring your girlfriend in for a hug. As funny as it was to see her react this way, you also didn’t want her to be scared. 
“Alright, how do you feel about a comedy movie?” Mary clung to your side, her heart still beating rapidly. “I don't want to keep you from your game.” You thought it was sweet, but also you weren't going to frighten your girlfriend just to play a game. “And I don't want you to be scared, so we're going to do something together that we both like.”
Mary seemed at peace with that and let you save your game and open up Netflix. You scrolled through the comedy section together until you found a movie you both wanted to see.
The thunder kept rolling around and lightning flashes kept lighting up the room, but the comedy on the tv made it a little less scary. Still Mary was cuddled up to your side, and you wouldn't have it any other way.
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babyangelsky · 6 months ago
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My Favorite Expressions in Love Sea Ep. 6
Every week I think I cannot possibly be having a better time with this show than I already am and every week I'm proven wrong. I LOVE IT HERE AND I'M HAVING A GREAT TIME!
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Well Mut, I suffer from this condition as well. It's called Permanent Heart Eyes and it's incurable.
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This is such a universal expression. Anyone who has ever watched someone they love eat something they cooked for them and enjoy it has made this face. Food is the greatest love language of them all.
Also, very pleasantly surprised to learn that Tongrak is a leftovers girly. I didn't expect him to be and now I love him even more.
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Peat really has mastered the shift from 🥺 to 🥰. He does it a lot this episode and it barely takes him a full second each time, I love it.
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When I tell you I COULD. NOT. LOVE. THIS. MAN. MORE. We only see him in profile when he delivers the last part of this line but this is a delightfully murderous expression. If I don't get a scene of Mahasamut cussing Prin out I'm going to be so disappointed.
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The utter shock at hearing that Mut wants to hear about Tongrak from him. The quiet disbelief. The relief. I can't show it in a screenshot but Tongrak breathes out when Mut says this and his shoulders relax. No one has ever given this man the courtesy of asking directly if they want to know something about him and allowing him to decide if he wants to share things and Mut does it so easily.
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The way he marvels at Mahasamut as it sinks in that he gets a choice, that he gets to decide if and how much to tell is just... it's lovely and completely fucking heartbreaking at the same time.
And because he was actually given a choice, he had no choice but to open up. Mut has made him feel so safe and respected that opening up becomes easy.
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"Even though they have a complete, loving family with a loving father."
Stab me, it would hurt less.
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No expression but the vibe is "I didn't say you could hug me but also I'm going to cling to you for dear life and try to burrow inside of your chest".
This is another one of those scenes that could have its own dedicated post and for which I would hit the picture limit immediately because the expressions were phenomenal and numerous so I'm cutting myself off.
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Would you look at that. Tongrak opened up and now we're cuddling and taking a nap inside of the bedroom no one has ever been allowed to enter. Phenomenal. I'm so proud of this sleepy kitten.
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Quick, someone google "how to tell your buddy that you're his husband's best friend's new sugar baby" for Mut he's asking for a friend it's him he's the friend.
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THE CUTE AGGRESSION IS ETERNAL AND RELENTLESS.
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Fort does the scolded puppy face so well.
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Well aren't WE a jealous little jellyfish, Khun Tongrak? He's so bitchy I love him so much.
Not pictured: him refusing to speak first when he talks to Connor even though he's the one who called and the 30 different emotions he goes through during that call.
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I spy with my little eye TWO jealous lil jellyfish. What's a group of jellyfish called?
*looks*
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A bloom. There's a bloom of pouty jealous jellyfish in this house. I do love when "fights" are for silly reasons and everyone involved knows they're being ridiculous.
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Side note: I covet this wallpaper. I need it on one of my bedroom walls immediately.
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Also, I would like to do my clown check in for the week and point out that Vivi has solid-colored textured pillows and patterned pillows on her couch but Tongrak chose to cuddle the patterned ones.
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We finally got to meet Tongrak's niece Meena and oh but she's a darling, precocious little thing. I also look at Mahasamut like this but you have no business doing it, miss thing, you're a baby! Same goes for reading your uncle's novels I say as someone who started reading romance novels when I was about her age.
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2.7 seconds apart. I timed it. I'm saying it every week at this point but Peat, I love everything you do with your face.
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And I am very quickly growing to love everything Nina does with that cute little face, too. It's good for Meena to see her beloved uncle being so loved by the beautiful man living in his house.
I have so much more to say about Meena but that definitely will get its own post because it's not limited to her facial expressions. There's a lot to unpack in this scene and in the cafe scene with her and Mut.
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I mean--do I even need to say anything? I can't wait to reblog every single gif I can find of this scene because it had me screaming into a pillow like Tongrak.
I'm reaaaaally starting to hate the 30 image photo limit because it truly is not enough to capture everything I love in this feast of a show. Prepare to be so sick of me because there WILL be more posts about this episode.
Also, if you'd like to be tagged in my weekly ramblings about micro-expressions, let me know! 💖
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