#you don't have to like Tommy. and I know there are people who are not fans of his for so many different reasons and that's fine!

[screamlet]

micelli's date nightmare (ver 2.5)

this is part meta, part fic, an alternate micelli's date from 8x6. word count: 2.7k

---

"that was kind of weird."

"no it wasn't. you're hot, so is she. it's okay to look."

"yeah, right, and i noticed you didn't." 

"i'm a kinsey 6," tommy says, kind of incredulous.

"i'm not sure what that means?" buck asks, as the audience surrogate.

and that's a problem, because in-universe buck is no longer the whole audience's surrogate. now he's a man who discovered his queerness later in life; he's a man in a queer relationship with another man; he's someone who celebrates a six-month anniversary out in public with his male partner. there's people in the audience who can see and celebrate parts of that journey with buck, who have been there or see how they can get there in their own exploring, but that's a road that not a lot of people have gone down or ever will. he doesn't belong to the general audience anymore, but the show needed him to still be the surrogate because we as the audience know buck.

but it's been six months and the audience needs to catch up on What It Means To Be Queer. so we get... "i'm not sure what that means?"

buuuuuuuuuuuut what if.

---

buck takes the picture for that girl and her friends, gets all weird because he could be perceived to be flirting with a woman while on a date (his gay anniversary dinner with a gay man who is his gay boyfriend). despite his awkwardness, she doesn't quite get that the big dude waiting for him is his date, his boyfriend. she's hot, he's awkward and hot, whatever.

so maybe she follows buck back to his table because she doesn't read them as being on a date! maybe he's a guy who doesn't want to ditch his buddy and like, it's micelli's!!! everyone's having fun, one of her friends really likes big guys, this could totally be something tonight!!

"thanks again for taking the picture for us," photo lady says as she comes back to the table with buck. she pauses and addresses both buck and tommy: 

"um, so we're actually celebrating our friend getting a promotion at work. it's just us girls right now, but would you guys want to join us?" 

maybe buck starts blushing because aaaahhh a lady hitting on him AND tommy, whaaaaat does he saaaaay

but tommy's like, "we'd love to… some other time, but, haha, i'm gay, like kinsey 6 gay, and he's…"

it takes a second, but buck manages: "uh!! his date!!"

"his date to our anniversary dinner," tommy corrects (dryly)

"and i'm still working my way around my number!! kinsey number. it's just for fun."

"oh! omg, congratulations!! and, uh. what's… what scale is that?"

tommy says, cutely, "where you fall on a range of heterosexual and homosexual desire. it's just for fun."

"ooh i'm gonna look that up, it sounds fun! okay, have a good night, guys, and congrats again!!!"

she leaves, their date continues, but buck's uncomfortable. "wow, haha, you just. told her we were on a date."

"you told her we were on a date," tommy says. "i told her we were here for our anniversary. was that a problem?"

"no, just."

"because we're in a restaurant for our anniversary."

"right, but. we're not like, being loud about it."

big fake tommy pout. "you didn't call ahead and tell them? they're not gonna bring us a cake with a giant dick on it, with little sixes for each testicle, and sing something from the village people? it's been so long since i heard macho man in public."

and haha very funny and buck is smiling but he's more uncomfortable than he's smiling. "i just didn't think of it, that's all."

"... which part? the giant dick cake, or the part where i told a stranger that we were on a date?" pause. "did you not want me to tell her?"

"no, uh, it's not that. or maybe it is that. i don't know." buck thinks. "i haven't done it before, you know? like, no one's ever asked."

now tommy's a little guarded. "yeah. you've been passing. you're still butch little buck to the world."

"and you pass, too! like, you're really… you know."

tommy nods. (maybe he kinda wants to jab at buck because he can't say the word masculine or butch or even say he's on a date with a man, but he doesn't.)

"it's funny but i think i don't," tommy says. "maybe it's the paranoia, internalized homophobia, toxic masculinity in the army and the 118 but… i've always felt like i stick out like a sore thumb. i've always felt like people know."

"they really don't, i promise."

tommy tilts his head. "how do you know?"

"i mean… well, okay, i did… tell eddie you were gay."

"what, recently? he didn't notice the couple of dozen times i've called you my boyfriend in the last six months? or the other way around?"

"no, way at the beginning after our last first date. i said something like, you don't hide it but you don't advertise it. he didn't know."

"and you think eddie is everyone?" tommy lets out a big breath. "well, he's not. you're both very adorable and very dense, mr. i didn't know he was jealous until he sprained my ankle and mr. i didn't know i had a crush until i sprained his ankle. other people, they might notice."

buck motions over his shoulder. "they didn't notice. they didn't know until you told them."

"one of them didn't." pause. "is it a problem that i told them?"

"... no, no of course not."

tommy's eyebrows go up. "so now those five women in the los angeles area know you like to fuck men. now what?"

"a man. i like you."

"right. you like me and you like to fuck me."

takes buck a minute to say, "right… well, it's not always…"

tommy laughs. "i meant categorically. kinsey 1? you think i'm your one and done?"

"i don't care about the scale, i care about you."

"it's not about the scale, buddy."

suddenly, perfect timing, a giant plate of spumoni arrives at their table. "from the ladies," the waiter says. there's a piece of paper to go with it that the waiter hands to tommy.

(is this the hot waiter? maybe he hands the paper to tommy and they share a look that buck doesn't like. there's lingering eye contact and it feels weirdly knowing even though they're strangers. probably strangers. does tommy know him? maybe the waiter's gay, too, and maybe he and tommy have hooked up? but tommy would have said something, or will say something. now tommy's unfolding the paper and definitely looking at the waiter's ass as he walks away. it's all A Lot and buck's upset, even as he remembers "it's okay to look."

(but does that apply to tommy, who knows he's gay? because he thought tommy meant it like, it's okay for buck to keep looking at women or still sometimes look at women because he's new to this. but tommy still looks at men even when he's with buck? that's—well okay of course he does, tommy knows what he likes, buck isn't dumb, or so cocky that he thinks he's the only guy tommy ever wants to look at again. tommy likes men. he's gonna look at men, and buck is gonna see him look at men sometimes.

(does anyone else see it, when tommy checks out men?)

"the note's from them?" buck turns around and the girls wave at them. buck weakly gives a thumbs up and turns back to tommy, who's cracking up at the note. he hands it to buck:

sorry for hitting on you during your anniversary date!!! the spumoni here is SO GOOD! also: rachel b. (that's me!!): 2 (does my sister's bachelorette party count?) cindy: 4 (seven sisters school haha) patricia: 00000000 (boring! sorry! and you guys are so hot!!! please reconsider? jk!!!) rachel s.: 5 (i thought i was the token gay and here's CINDY) sarah (recently a divorcée): 1 but that number is going UP happy anniversary!!!!!

"oh, wow," buck says. "that's a lot of information."

tommy gets up and heads over to the women, crouches at their table. buck turns around and watches the way he makes them laugh, the way one of them touches his arm, the little glances they throw buck's way—it's different. it's different from the way tommy was acting with him here. he's louder and… gayer. hands way more… out there. lots of head tilts. one of the women from the other side of the table gets up and hugs tommy tight, and they all call out byeeeeeeeeeee tommyyyyyyy as he comes back. he's turning bright red as he sits with buck again. heads around the restaurant turn towards them and buck feels frozen on the spot.

tommy looks happy, then disappointed. "was that too much?"

"too much what?"

tommy raises his eyebrows.

"you keep doing that, like—"

"did i queen it up too much for you?"

"no i just… didn't know you were like that. or could be, sometimes."

tommy looks like he's about to say something bitchy, but then he puts it away. "that's what i mean. sometimes i'm obvious, even if you can't see it."

"i mean, that was obvious. you just put on a show for everyone."

tommy laughs, shocked surprise, and kind of angry. "and does that upset you?"

"no, of course not!" buck pauses. "did you know that waiter?"

"the waiter?"

"yeah, you were like, looking at him, and you checked him out."

"and? you checked rachel b. out when she was here and i didn't say anything. i said it was okay to look. which of these things is a problem?"

buck checks himself. he doesn't really know what he's mad about, or if he's even mad. he's just uncomfortable. everything feels uncomfortable and weird, and like everyone's looking at him. that waiter knows something about tommy, those girls like tommy more than they like him, and why wouldn't they? tommy was so cool and easy with them, and buck's all weird and awkward with everyone, and their anniversary dinner kind of sucks now.

"are you okay?" tommy asks. "are you gonna make me eat this whole plate of spumoni by myself?" he pauses. "are you jealous of that waiter?"

"i don't know." buck sits back and sulks. "i hate this place. i don't know why we keep coming here."

"well, the pizza's pretty good, this spumoni is great, and the last time we were here, you told eddie we were gonna pick up some hot chicks after we saw our movie." tommy's foot nudges buck's under the table; buck startles. "you move on from that at all? you still wanna go pick up hot chicks? there's five right over your shoulder. they're thinking of hitting up rachel s.'s favorite lesbian bar. they even asked if we wanted to come with them."

buck looks panicked. "did you say yes?" suddenly he remembers himself. "sorry, sorry, i mean—like, women i've dated talk about it all the time, you know, going to gay bars so they don't get hit on."

tommy nods, then leans in: "but they're going to a lesbian bar so they do get hit on." tommy leans back and says, "which is pretty funny."

"is it?"

"isn't it?"

"like…" buck doesn't even know what he wants to say. he doesn't really—he can't picture, exactly, what bothers him. "like what if they do meet someone, you know? some nice lady? and they make out or hook up and then one of them is like, actually sorry this was fun but—"

"so what?" tommy's eyebrows are climbing into his hair again. "you've never hooked up at a bar or club and done that? sorry, this was fun…"

"but they…"

"they need to take it more seriously?"

"yeah. yes. exactly. it's serious business!! it's not just walking into some bar and making out with a—being a woman and making out with a woman and maybe that's your whole thing now, or it's not your thing and—and what if she gets hurt, you know?"

"the hypothetical dyke that will instantly fall in love with one of the kinsey zeros through four and have her heart broken?"

"stop making fun of me, i'm serious."

"i can tell but i don't know what you're serious about." tommy adjusts his chair, sits up straight, but buck notices how he pulls his chair back a little, like he's making more space. space to leave? is he gonna get up and leave because buck is doing too much, or saying the wrong things, or being weird about women, or thinking about women, or not—

"it's really funny, actually," tommy says. "that hypothetical lesbian bar romance is the most i've seen you engage with like, anything gay besides getting your dick in my mouth."

"jesus, tommy, we're in public." buck doesn't even realize he's said something weird until he sees how tommy has gone so quiet and still. "i care about stuff. i engage."

"really? you didn't go to pride."

"i was working, so were you."

"i would have traded shifts if you wanted to go."

buck's uncomfortable again. "did i have to go?"

"of course not, but did you want to go? have you gone before?"

"of course i have," buck says, but he's not sure. he's usually working, and sometimes they get calls to handle something during pride but it's rarely anything weird: dehydration, party drugs gone wrong or too far. they're usually in and out before buck can get much pride done.

"i'm working, usually," buck admits. "but if you wanted to go…"

"it's not really my scene, either, but you didn't feel like… any kind of call? any kind of curiosity? what it would be like to take the day off, go to pride, be there with a boyfriend? like you'd be out there in your little shorts—"

"i don't own little shorts."

tommy smiles and he looks kind of mean, like he got a cheap shot at his expense except buck doesn't get it.

"what? i don't! they make my thighs look too big."

"alright, forget that. but the rest of it. you didn't want to be out with other gay people, showing off your boyfriend, getting shown off by your boyfriend? because i would have." tommy suddenly goes still again. "i would have shown you off."

a real gut punch. "tommy, i didn't know you wanted to go."

"i didn't know how much you didn't want to go."

"it just… it doesn't feel like it's for me! i didn't…"

tommy waits. buck waits. 

"are you bisexual?" tommy asks. "pansexual? both? neither? queer? straight?"

defensively: "i'm not straight, i have a boyfriend."

"and that makes you…"

buck pauses. "i don't know." he looks at tommy, who looks worried.

"do you want to know?"

pause. "i guess i have to."

"you don't have to do anything, but it bugs me that you have a boyfriend and that's all you care about. it bothers me that it's been six months and you've never thought about all the times we've been clocked in public. being seen like that didn't bother you? or did you not notice?"

buck flinches. apparently the latter. "we have?"

"yes, evan. every coffee place or restaurant or bar with a little rainbow outside, and even the ones that don't. two guys head in together, standing close together, flirting with each other—"

"that doesn't mean…" buck hears himself. 

"what? maybe it doesn't mean we're there to check out the glory hole in the back, but it means we're probably a couple. does that bother you? i mean, it clearly does, but did you even realize until now that it bothered you?"

"no! it didn't bother me because it wasn't a big deal. you're making it a big deal. why can't we just go out and have fun? now i have to go around and count how many people think we're gay, or if people even notice, or if i'm being weird and making it obvious i'm with you, or…"

"and, six months late, welcome to my life," tommy says. "seriously, do you want any of this spumoni or what?"

[boopdadooper]

Just wanted to show everyone the clip from Dream's latest stream where he talks about the whole 'showing nsfw fanart in a discord call with minors'.

Here's a link to the stream. It starts from 2:56:06 and goes until 3:00:55

Here is the abridged transcript. It is heavily paraphrased, as the original has a lot of stuttering, but I've done my best to stay as impartial as possible, though I very forwardly admit that I have a bias, and strong opinions about this whole situation. I urge you to read the full, unedited transcript below the cut, and watch the clip.

"So why is Dream skipping over Tubbo talking about the inappropriate conversations happening in discord calls in the Dream SMP?" I didn't intentionally skip over that. Tubbo didn't give any specifics, so I won't go into full detail, but I'll give a bit more than what he did because, the way he's phrasing it, it sounds a lot worse, like something that could be used in a 'gotcha!' moment against me. But it doesn't directly involve me, other than the fact that I owned the Dream SMP, so it was my discord server. Tubbo brought it up to me in a previous call that how, on looking back, there were some interactions he had in the Dream SMP discord that he was uncomfortable about because he was seventeen at the time. And one thing he brought up was how there was a fanart porn image shown. It's not something that should be shown to anyone, regardless of age. But this happened with a bunch of people who were on the Dream SMP in a call together, looking though some of the crazy art people had drawn of them, to poke fun at it. And one of the images was BadBoyHalo's Minecraft character, with a penis, with Skeppy's Minecraft character. Now, I validated Tubbo's concerns - it's obviously something that could make anyone uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor. But also, I did express that the way he brought it up, it could be used to accuse us of being predators. And, it wasn't something that I did… Look, privately, with George and Nick, I have shared things like this to poke fun at it with them. So, if you come in looking at us through the lens that we're terrible, creepy guys, then this instance where we showed fanart porn is vindicating, and can be held up as an example of a predatory action. And it shouldn't have happened, and maybe it's fair to say that you should avoid having anything like that in a channel with people who are seventeen, as Tubbo was. But, in that situation, no one was trying to be creepy or predatory. People were treating Tubbo as if he was an adult, like them. Which shouldn't have happened, but is also something that both Tubbo and Tommy asked for. They both asked not to be treated any different, but they are also still kids. You shouldn't take their word for that. It wasn't a thing that happened often, this was just one instance Tubbo brought up. Obviously, people are going to take that information and run with it, but, be real. We're creators who have to deal with that sort of art being shared about us, and we were talking about it as a collective. It wasn't some weird, sexual thing. And this wasn't something that I was directly involved in. In this case, I think more context is better. Because saying that 'there were some inappropriate conversations and actions that happened in the Dream SMP discords that Dream was aware of' sounds a lot worse out of context than with the details. And I'm sure Tubbo didn't want to go into specifics because of how awkward it was, but sometimes the details are necessary.

Full Transcript:

Um... 

"So why is Dream skipping over Tubbo talking about the inappropriate conversations happening in discord calls in the Dream SMP?" Um…

I didn't intentionally skip over that, um, I can look at- I don't know when he said it in the vod, but, um... Yeah one of the things Tubbo- so, I guess- Tubbo didn't give any specifics so I'm not going to give exact specifics, but I'll give more specifics than Tubbo did because again, it does make it seem a- a lot worse than what he's... y'know, th-the way that Tubbo's phrasing it, I do think that eventually it's something that could be, y'know, used in like a 'gotcha!' moment of like, 'Oh my god!'. But, first of all, it doesn't involve me, like I have nothing- o-other than the fact that obviously the Dream SMP is my... is like my- my thing, so it's my discord. Y'know, whatever. Um…

But, uh, but Tubbo brought up to me one of the previous times we called, um, how looking back on, um, y'know, some interactions that he had, uh, in the Dream SMP discord that he y’know, was uncomfortable because he was seventeen, or whatever, at the time. And, um, (stuttering) an interaction he, y’know, brought up was that in a, um, in, like, one of the chat- one of the Dream SMP chats or whatever, um, there was like, uh, a-a fanart porn image shown.

Um, now, obviously that's not something that should be shown regardless, um, uh, to anybody, it doesn't matter what the affiliation is, but, um, or like, I dunno what their... I guess age is, unless they- y'know, whatever, um... But, to give context because I think it- it is important, um, to this situation, is it was a bunch of Dream SMP people in a call, um, looking at the fact that fans were drawing crazy art like that and making fun of it, and being, like, 'oh my god, this is crazy, this is disgusting' um, y'know 'no one should do this' essentially. Um, and to give context to like, an image, I guess, I don't know how to say this without it being kind of... it's not graphic, but like, is. It- I think it was like, a BadBoyHalo Minecraft character with like, a penis, and a- and a Skeppy Minecraft character…

Obviously, again, I-I validated, uh, Tubbo's concerns and was like, yeah, obviously that's, like- obviously that's something that could make someone uncomfortable and I totally see that, and obviously if you're a minor being around something shared like- or shown like that, then you wouldn't- you wouldn't- you wouldn't want to be, um... But, I also did express to him that, uh, y'know, the way that that's being brought up - even in this context - is like, almost as a way of, like, 'Therefore (y'know) these people are predators!' o-or whatever. And again, that wasn't- that's not me, I wasn't- I didn't- it wasn't something that I- I did, or whatever, but it's also something that, uh…

Um, I definitely, y'know, even privately with George and Nick, or whatever, have shared ridiculous things like- and t-they're like 'Look at this, this is terrible!' um, and so, uh, I- even expect him as like, you're- you're looking at this through a lens of, like, if- if these guys are super- if these guys are super terrible, creepy guys, then look at this action where they shared, y'know, Skeppy/BadBoyHalo Minecraft porn and that's a predatory, like, action, um... And so I think it can both be not something that should be happened and- happening, and something that's fair to look at and be like, hey that's, y'know, hey, you should avoid having anybody in a channel with anything like that if they're seventeen, um, y'know, as Tubbo was. 

But, the way that I- it kinda looked as, Tubbo's like- well, no one- I-I don't think anyone in that scenario was trying to be creepy, or- or predatory to anybody. It was people treating Tubbo like, he was, uh, y'know, just like them - like he was an adult. Um, which probably shouldn't have happened. But it's also something that both Tubbo and Tommy both asked many times. They both said 'Don't treat us any different, don't treat like anyone else' don't- don't, y'know, whatever. But, at the same time, they're kids. They're young. They're- they're minors, at that point, so they're not... you- you shouldn't take their- their word- their word- word for that. 

But it's not like that was, like, a frequent thing that happened, obviously, again, this was one instance that Tubbo brought up, I'm not sure, I've- I- I don't know this- the exact specifics, but that's something that Tubbo brought. Um, and so that- I- I don't know the exact clip where he mentioned that, but there's, y'know, that. 

Obviously people- I'm sure people will run to the hills with that information, and be like 'Oh my god! They're fucking- They're- They're sharing, y'know, whatever!'. It's like, guys. Be for real, be serious, and realise the luni- the lunicacy of the situation we were in as creators having that type of stuff posted about us, and were collectively, as a collective, talking about it, and sharing it and being like, 'What the hell, what is this?' y'know. Um, and- and not like, a 'oh my god, this is like-' like, it's not a sexual, weird thing. 

Then again, wasn't something that I- that I was personally, as far as I know, directly involved in. But, um, but it is something that, obviously-

But again, it- it feels... It's not disingenuous, but it feels... the, like... given- It's almost sometimes the more context is better. Like, in this case, saying, like 'Yeah, there was some inappropriate stuff that happened- conversations and stuff that happened in Dream SMP discords that, like, Dream was aware of and that's like...' y'know, like, whatever. That without more context sounds weirder than if you give more context, where it's like, 'well, yeah, okay'. It's almost worse to- it's like, I don't wanna- sometimes I'm like- I'm sure Tubbo's like 'I don't wanna give details because it's awkward to talk about' versus- But sometimes, like, details are necessary, I guess, in a way, um... So…

If there are any errors, please let me know.

[elytrafemme]

ok yeah im done watching fucking tubbo but yeah. my last thoughts on the dream thing are that if someone as an adult is making heavy sexual jokes around minors that is a warning sign if not actually definitive itself of grooming. not to pull this card for the thousandth time (though i am in a better headspace now, before people worry) but i always feel like i have to for the sake of making a point, like. that is HOW it got started for me. it was jokes about sex, and then it was sending sexual fanfictions back and forth, and then it was him telling me an anecdote about his sex life because it was "funny", and it just snowballs from there until we're having the "you're going to make me catch a case" talk when i was fucking fourteen, maybe fifteen. and even though what happened to me wasn't "major" i've stopped thinking about it as lucky because no i wasn't lucky. i didn't make it out unscathed clearly. dream (and also wilbur!) joking about sex around minors, doubling down as soon as they turn 18, etc-- that is creepy. that is weird.

there are conversations that can be had about sex with minors. sometimes there are sex ed questions! and most of the time that sort of thing is like, you redirect them to scarletteen or something, but i'd be insane to act like it never comes up sometimes, right. but joking about sexual anecdotes and making explicit sexual jokes around minors like... that is so fucking creepy. and like there's a tiny line there i GUESS of like some sex jokes being so disambiguated and vague and pop culture-y that it's fine but most sex jokes are like, why would you make that to kids.

(also not to mention like... dream calling tommy's mom and that display of power over him? nonsexual but that is still manipulative behavior. it all folds together.)

i haven't looked back at dream's allegations, all i know was that a lot of allegations were made and dream is a notorious liar and i believe victims so i think my position is clear. but i need to express that even if in the rare sliver of a case ALL of that was untrue, dream is STILL a creep for the way he interacted with minors. i'm not going to explicitly call him a pedophile, i will call him a groomer though. i won't state that he groomed tommy or tubbo because that is not something either of them have said, but i am just drawing conclusions and relating it back to my experiences that lead me to believe he is overall a groomer.

i don't have a lot of minors following me nowadays because i was on the younger end of mcytblr when i was into it, at least in my circles. so i won't speak to that audience i will just speak broadly when i say that if you take ANYTHING from this, it's that grooming is not a cookie-cutter kind of trauma or situation. i never physically interacted with my groomer, and i have left with the impression that he wasn't attracted to me personally. but what he did to me was him doing powerplay, it was him trying to use my idolization of him as a way to justify all of his horrible actions. as a fun side note, while he was emotionally manipulating me, he was also telling me freak sexual shit. but at the core of it, he love bombed me because he needed someone in his corner who, even when he fucked over every last person we knew, would want to believe him so bad. and in a way, he succeeded. i never rekindled my friendship with those other people in the group, and it just gradually dripped away over months. i'm glad that hasn't affected some of the ex-dreamsmp creators, with regard to... what was tubbo calling it, brighton crew? whatever.

the day the internet realizes the nuances of grooming and sexual assault is the day that people like me can finally be at peace online. it's easy to pick away at screenshots and argue that it was only second or third or whatever degree whatever, but all of that goes away when you are actually having the experience. because you realize then what it can do to you, even if it's no-physical contact, even if the person isn't directly attracted to you, even if it wasn't for very long, even even even. and i'm glad none of the minors-at-the-time dsmp ex-creators seem to have left with substantial trauma on the sexual front, but i am always going to talk about it because i think it is important. and as much as i bitch and moan about the ex-dsmp content creators who were minors (or barely 18) at the time, and the gripes i have with some of them now, i will always be sympathetic to all of them because i understand what it feels like. thanks for reading. & you're never alone, as a survivor, as someone going through this, ever. lots of love everyone.

[leashybebes]

I was tagged by @typicalopposite (impulsive) and @hyperfocusthusly (fire) for this wip game.

Rules! Share one sentence or excerpt from your wip(s) that starts with each letter of your word!

Decided to make it confusing by pulling from my extremely unwieldy file with allll the wips from you plus me verse, along with the actual ongoing wips and a Super Secret project so...don't expect anything coherent, I guess!

also, at least one bit is nsfw, i sorta lost track. impulsive is a long word and i have NOTHING in the tank today.

re: nothing in the tank, i cannot even consider tagging onwards. if you see this and wanna do it, your word is heart

impulsive

i -

"I mean. I think you could make just about anything sound hot."

"Do you see how that could be a problem?"

"I - guess. But um. It's a problem in a hot way."

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose. "Evan."

"I mean it. Um. Hold up." Buck scrolls through his phone, switching back to his notes app and, yikes, that's a mess that he will need to tidy up at some point, but he thinks he worded it pretty well in his little brain-dump earlier, so carefully filed sex notes will have to wait.

m -

"My round," Tommy says.

"I'll come with you," Eddie offers.

Buck stands up to let them out of the booth. Clearly not even thinking about it, Tommy touches his waist as he goes, a brief trail of his fingers that has Buck making what he's sure is a pretty goofy expression at Tommy's retreating back.

p -

"Put some clothes on, have a shower if you want, I'm going to make some lunch."

"Is this the famous Clipboard Buck?"

Buck's aware he's probably having what Hen would call a face journey because he wants to know who said that to Tommy, and to point out that he doesn't actually have a clipboard right now, but that he has one at the loft and he could grab it if they swung by, and he also wants to say something embarrassing about how handsome Tommy looks after a nap. He might be in danger of going full Buck here.

u -

"Uh. No. But. You know my friends."

"And soon you'll know mine." He brings Buck's hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles. "I've told them about you. They'll love you."

"Um. Um. Sure." 

Buck screams at himself to shut the fuck up because they'll love you is literally just a thing people say, and it is too goddamn early.

l -

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"Love you!" Jee chirps up, not really directed at anyone in particular, just putting it out into the universe. Buck swoops her up onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and she shrieks with laughter. When he leans in to drop one last peck on Tommy's cheek, he hears Jee's mwah! as she lands a kiss in Tommy's hair.

s -

"She was a kid when I joined the army. I should have done better by her, but - "

"You were a kid when you joined the army," Buck counters. "I'm not mad, stop looking at me like that."

"Okay," Tommy says carefully. "You probably - "

"I mean, I am confused. Because when your dad died, we talked a lot. I thought - I thought it made us closer."

i -

"I don't wanna - "

"Sure, okay, make me say it," Tommy says with a huff that might almost be a laugh. "You've got a big dick. Just - it's good, just go slow."

"Yeah," Evan says. "Sure, of course."

He thought he was going slow, but Tommy's the boss, so he works on tiny, incremental little thrusts instead, and it feels crazy. He can feel Tommy's ass working around his cock, like it's actively trying to get him closer, further inside.

v -

Verging on tearful, Evan says, "I would have come. I would have helped."

"I know you would have. It's exactly why I didn't. Why I wouldn't let Sal."

"God, you are a stubborn asshole," Evan says, but he sounds almost impressed, now.

Tommy shrugs and snags another cookie. "These are really good."

Evan gives him a familiar, teasing glare. "For the record, I am allowing you to change the subject."

e -

"Evan, wait - "

But it's too late. Buck pulls open what appears to be Tommy's sock drawer. He's rooting around before Tommy's words can register and his fingers find it like they knew it'd be there - a box. Small and square and navy blue and unmistakable. 

"You - "

Tommy sighs and drags a hand over his face. "Surprise?" he suggests. "This really isn't how I thought this would go."

fire

f -

For a second it's their first kiss all over again, but then Tommy's free hand is preemptively cupping the back of Buck's head as he very efficiently gets Buck pinned against the wall and kisses him fervently. Buck makes a noise of surprise but then gets with the programme immediately. Tommy kisses him hard, urgent, licking into his mouth and slotting their bodies together in a way that Buck is already learning makes him melt. He winds his arms around Tommy's neck, arches into him, lets out a happy little hum.

i -

"It's up to you. I won't be offended if you just want to go sleep in your own bed, but I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't serious."

He's so fucking direct, and it makes Buck feel crazy.

"I don't want to sleep in my own bed," he says, and wants to curl into himself and disappear. It's too much and too honest and too intense and too early and too Buck. 

r -

Reflexively, he notes Evan very deliberately not looking at the cane, probably trying to reconcile the man who walked out of his loft eight years ago with it, and with the glasses, and the decrease in muscle mass and the more grey than not in his hair. He decides to give him an out.

"Congratulations on the promotion," he says. "You deserve it."

e -

Evan holds out  an honest-to-god printed list. Lists, Tommy realizes as he takes hold of the paper, and sees that it's multiple sheets. The first is titled non-sexual intimacy, the second date night ideas, the third mutual self-disclosure. Evan's hand covers his, settling the rising itch of panic he's barely had time to notice.

"Slow down," Evan tells him. "Your pace, remember?"

Part of Tommy hates the feeling of being handled. Another part of him, the part he's trying to lean into, wants it desperately. Wants to be treated carefully, treated with care.

[nattikay]

Yeah, Izzo actually mentioned that panel specifically! We technically don't know for certain whether that particular character was meant to be her, but I'd say it's a very good reasonable guess and definitely the closest thing we have! Certainly gonna be my headcanon for now, until/unless we get something a little more concrete.

Speaking of which, I went ahead and transcribed the part of the interview about Norm, tagging @theoptimistictabby again because you're gonna want this, Norm fans are gonna be hype for this one haha. I'm gonna put the full thing under a cut because it's just a tad bit long, but the tl;dr bullet points are:

Izzo really wants to do a Norm comic at some point, exploring his past and/or the gap between A1 and A2

Norm's family probably won't make a direct appearance in the films, but might appear in other media such as comics

One of his kids is named Popiti and she, along with a sibling, do appear in The High Ground; he mentioned the panel with Norm playing the violin specifically

The majority of the Olangi clan died in the Battle of the Hallelujah Mountains and the survivors were absorbed into the Omatikaya clan. Norm's mate was one of these survivors and he met her in during the aftermath of the battle.

By the way, for those who didn't catch it on the other reblog, Izzo also confirmed later that day via this comment that Popiti and her sibling are indeed Norm's biological kids, not adopted!

...soooo with all that in mind, if we take that violin panel you posted and zoom out a bit:

I think there's a pretty decent chance that those two kids in the front holding hands are Popiti and her sibling! :D

Transcript from interview:

Mako: In the Visual Dictionary and The High Ground, it is hinted that Norm has a family. Do you know if we will ever meet them? Izzo: Yes! So, keen-eyed viewers…well, meet them on film, like, visually? Probably not. That will probably be, like, a lore, derivitive media sort of thing, but keen-eyed viewers…his children appear in The High Ground. They’re in there! There’s a couple panels where you see them, like when the Sully family return, and they have that kind of dance party, it’s at the top of book 1, I believe, where Norm is playing a musical instrument or something like that…Popiti and his other kid are there. They’re in that scene. But yeah, I would love to more with that; Norm is a character that….and actually this is something that again Ray, our creative guy, he’s talked about doing stuff about the Avatar program, the AVTR program, from a comic book perspective, he’s had some really interesting ideas…but Norm as a character is one that I’d really love to do some comic book or some other media about that’s either…y’know…I’d love to do something that’s between A1 and A2. What is he up to, what’s he doing, and y’know, touching a little bit on his past: where’d he come from, his study to be in the Avatar program, his relationship with Tommy, the meeting of all of the Na'vi, and kind of all that stuff…I think that it’s really rich. There’s some really meaty story there that I would love to do. But yeah, going back…the question, probably not on screen, but in other media, would love to. Would love to give it a shot. Mako: Well, I can imagine you just set off a flurry of comic book pages of people going to grab their copy of The High Ground to go digging… Izzo: Yeah, probably! Mako: But you’re right that the comic book format, the way that you guys have set that up right now, lends itself really well to anthology stories and character studies, I mean, the very first one was a Jake character study in a lot of ways, and we had Mo'at, and we’ve got So'lek in the latest ones, of course, so….yeah, it could be really interesting to see a Norm-centric story emerge in that format. Izzo: Just right now, just for the room…and I don’t know if it’s in the Visual Dictionaries…but in our documentation at work...this is all subject to change, so, y’know, of course, I’m gonna say it, but Jim might have different ideas…his mate, his partner, is one of the Olangi clan that he met during the post-Battle of the Hallelujah Mountains, one of Akwey’s people…and because Akwey’s people essentially got destroyed during that battle, the Omatikaya clan sort of absorbed a lot of their remnants, their lost, because that’s what happens during the wartimes…you saw that’s also what happened to So'lek’s clan…they passed away and then other clans abosorbed their survivors, and the Olangi clan came and lived with the remnants of the Omatikaya in their yurts on that border of Hell’s Gate between Hell’s Gate and the Omatikayan rainforest. So yeah, he was….we have it in our paperwork that he’s mated and partnered to an Olangi woman. Mako: Oh, ok yeah. That’s not lore that I personally knew, so that’s really really interesting, and again further stuff to potentially explore in a character study. Izzo: Yeah, super fun!

Norm family lore drop!!

so for Avatar fans who don't already know, Kelutral's "Omaticon" online convention (streamed on their Twitch channel) is going on this weekend, and the kickoff panel earlier this evening featured franchise loremaster Josh Izzo.

Some may remember this little panel in the High Ground, featuring Norm with a Na'vi child addressing him as "Daddy":

In the Visual Dictionary, there's also a very brief mention that Tuk has a best friend named Popiti.

...so here's the fun bit:

Izzo confirmed that this "Popiti" is in fact Norm's kid!!

Apparently Popiti also has a sibling, and her mother/Norm's mate is from the Olangi clan (which makes sense given that the Visual Dictionary mentions Norm having a bunch of Olangi trinkets).

ngl I love this lore drop but now I have so many more questions also!! How old is Popiti (I assume close to Tuk's age since they're best friends but there's still some wiggle room there so)? Is her sibling older or younger and what's his/her name? If they're Norm's biological kids, do either of them have avatar features like Kiri and Lo'ak? What's Norm's wife's name, what's their story? Norm didn't get his consciousness permanently transferred like Jake did, so how does him switching between two bodies affect things? PLZ I NEED TO KNOW

@theoptimistictabby thought you'd be interested in this one ;)

btw let it be known that I speculated all these things like two years ago, my mind is still reeling that what I thought was merely wild wishful-thinking speculation at the time turned out to be CANON lol

[god-i-hope-so]

I wonder how many of Tommy haters ever experienced racism. My guess is a very small part of them because let me tell you one thing: you don't spend after work time with your racist coworker on your own. EVER. You don't share stories and jokes with them. EVER. You know the mental cost of spending time with a racist when you're a poc? No you don't. And you think Hen and Chim would choose to spend their free time with a racist instead of anyone else? Instead of going home? No one forced them, and there's no one else. They decided to have drinks together because Tommy changed and they want to support change.

You can call out his past behavior, absolutely, and I did it myself because it needs to be done. You know what needs to be done too? Acknowledge positive change. It's crucial to see and support change. Change is what makes the world better, little by little. But you wouldn't know if you're not a poc, right? How does it feel to be a white knight trying to get some "good ally" points from the poc you use for you hate campaign? All that for a fucking ship? Is it worth it? Do you have your ship canon now?

But please, educate me on racism and how Hen and Chim acted in S2, apparently forced (by who?) to spend their free time with Tommy.

[veyette]

Hi veyette!! How are you?? Haven't seen you in a while! I'm going around leaving a few asks to people hehe rn

What duo or character from the dsmp do you think gets underused for stories?? Like what person deserves to have bigger roles in stories and get appreciated more??

I wish you a lovely day :D!

Hi ! Yes indeed it's been a while, glad to know you're well :D Congrats on the dsmpfairytale art and the Dreblr Gen Big Bang, it was really good works (if a reader likes c!rivalsduo and zombie apocalypse, go for it !) (It isn't shameless promotion if it's the truth)

Nice quick answers :

C!antfrost -> everyone forgets that poor guy and his relation with the Egg and c!Bbh and the prison (for the character)

C!sapnap and c!tommy's duo -> a lot of untapped in potential especially knowing how powerful c!sapnap can be and how much of a hold on c!dream he can have

C!hbomb should appear in more stories and be appreciated more for his hilarious apparitions

I typed way more though ahah and then realized it was getting long and needlessly complicated so you can just stop at my quick answers if you want.

I typed a whole text about why c!sapnap should be used more, but if you want an honnest opinion about which characters are underused as a whole in dsmp fanfictions you'll need to scroll down x)

-> I'd say maybe c!Sapnap is criminally underused, as well as any duo with him ? He is often put in fanfictions but few fics concentrate on him when his character has so much potential considering all the links he has with almost every character :

c!Karlnapity's fiance which impacted both the time travel and Las Nevadas

c!stagedduo (both c!dream and c!punz being close friends of his especially when you take in the fact they fought the first few times together)

c!skephalo's "son" and connection to the Egg lore if he so wanted

XD itself and the book of death

a physically strong character with relatively straight morales (enough that c!technoblade and c!dream would have to count on fighting him)

A turn-back time story with him would go crazy for exemple because we know he feels enough of a sense of responsibilities at the end of the dsmp to try to involve himself and put his strength to use.

C!sapnap biggest weakness has always been I believe the fact he doesn't think very far and he is easily redirected by people even slightly more cunning : by going back into the past, he gets rid of the disadvantage of constantly lagging behind others's thoughts and can plan in advance (could want to protect c!Karl, keep c!quackity close, check for c!george (may even recognize XD when he starts involving himself), can protect L'Manberg better during Doomsday and intervene for c!tommy (still lost on what c!sapnap would plan to do with c!dream if he came back in time because he isn't as bull headed than c!sam in that regard, but he is also very hurt and betrayed and believing c!dream can't change), involve himself early in the Egg saga to keep c!skephalo away...)

As I said, a lot of connections that could explored in various and interesting ways, especially taking into account how simple and yet complex c!sapnap is. He doesn't think very far as I said, focused on the present, can be easily misdirected (a lot of people around him just speak half-truth to him) and is himself quite the problem makers : but sometimes he can be very aware of problems and know where the problem is (also more importantly : when he decides to solve the problem, he does). He is motivated, always willing to go farther and to act on what he thinks

So yes, c!sapnap is very interesting and should be explored in fanfiction more

BUT AS A WHOLE :

I don't think there's any character which is underused in dsmp stories (sorry!).

The DSMP is built around several people, sure, so when fanartists (writers included) write their POV/AU, the character chosen gets to shine and the others usually are used as props to help them in the same way they helped in the DSMP.

But the thing is, for me, people rarely helped each others out ?

(Be it due to selfishness, unawareness or powerlessness, often a mix of 3 - a reason why I also love dsmp : irl too you need to express when you need help, people can't read your mind and will have their own stuff to care about)

More often than not, people being very present in each other stories is things added by fanartists are conversations and actions they wish the characters had had because it didn't actually happen : admission of hurt and people going into defense mode for the poor guy, some character finally exploding and going all Villain to get his revenge, feelings of love and affection being declared and then hugging it out (SFW version)...

When a fanartist pick a character, they create links and actions from characters that never did in the lore, involving them more ! So by definition, no character feels "left out", even if you'd wish an artist focused more on the help other characters could have given, had they been chosen by the author to give that help

I just said to give c!sapnap a bigger role but the thing is : c!sapnap doesn't notice things around him and when he does, doesn't really know how to help. Unless the author gives him a reason too, he won't ever involve himself with the Egg business, he won't repair his relation with c!quackity, he won't be able to help c!karl and won't notice what's wrong with c!george.

I could do this for a lot of dsmp characters : if they didn't help in the lore, unless the author wish to, they have no reason to do it in fiction and as such can't, by definition, be underused.

[jaycetclis]

.

excuse me I'm annoyed and I'm gonna rant for a second :)

...

[britneyshakespeare]

i don’t see what the point is in remaking the room

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[xx-meat-clown-xx]

the weirdest and worst thing anyone can know about me is that ive considered only semi-ironically shipping tommy wiseau and greg sestero

hold my hand. we can make the worst RPF imaginable.

[celiababy]

Ain't Right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You have a major (borderline obsessive) crush on Joel, and you're on a mission to fuck him.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT MDNI, age gap (56/20), swearing, fingering (fem!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, size kink, cum eating, name calling, kinda mean Joel, alcohol, vomiting, an extremely brief mention of suicide

Disclaimer: I lowkey don't know the logistics of the show so if some things are wrong please look over it I'm just trying to write smut about Joel Miller godbless.

Ain't Right part 2

Ever since that tortured old man showed up in Jackson, your life hasn't been the same.

Tommy's older brother, and your absolute undoing.

When Joel Miller rode into town, it was like everything suddenly made sense. The skies got clearer, the air smelled better, and the birds even chirped their love songs louder.

Everything about him drew you in; his cold demeanor, stoic face, tired eyes—but gentle around those he cared about, which was only a few select people.

And you certainly were not one of those select people.

Joel didn't know what to think about you.

To him, you were odd. Yes, you were undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in Jackson, but he felt distance between the two of you was essential.

He felt this way because he knew.

Joel wasn't oblivious to your stares; he might've been an old man, but he remembered the laws of attraction fairly well.

He didn't like the thought of you liking him.

You were young, attractive, and had plenty of age-appropriate prospects just begging for your attention. Every boy in Jackson wanted a piece of you—but you only had eyes for Joel.

He was getting old and tired, ain't no reason why you should be so fond over him.

He also didn't like that you made your attraction so obvious. It made people whisper, and Joel about had enough teasing from Tommy.

"You gonna let that young thing jump your bones or what, Joel?" Is an example of the few things his brother would chirp at him whenever you were around and had eyes on him like he was a target.

So, all things considered, it's no surprise when Joel is reluctant to make a supply run with you.

You had begged Tommy to let you go out and finally start pulling your weight, carefully adding that Joel would be a great teacher for a first timer like yourself.

You stand near the truck, squeezing the straps of your backpack while watching Joel and Tommy whisper to themselves a couple feet away.

"You can't find anyone else?" Joel growls lowly, narrowing his eyes at his insufferable brother who he’d really like to strangle right now.

"Are you seriously scared of a twenty year old girl, Joel?" Tommy asked exasperatedly, throwing his arm out in disbelief. "It'll take two hours tops, what the hell are you so scared of?" Joel is exhaling through his nose, dragging a hand down his jaw in complete disgruntlement.

"You know what the hell I'm scared of Tommy—goddammit," He gets in his brother’s face before realizing you’re still watching them.

He takes a moment to back up and calm down, breathing out through his nose.

"I do not need this town thinkin' I am encouraging this girls...feelin's." He murmurs lowly.

Tommy rolls his eyes before shoving Joel's backpack into his chest.

"Just don't fuck her, Joel. How hard could it be?"

Joel watches as Tommy turns his back and walks away, leaving just you and him.

Joel had spent a lot of time making sure he was never in a situation alone with you—now he was about to be your unsupervised mentor.

He feels a groan try and crawl its way out his throat, but he pushes it down.

He starts walking to the truck, not even looking at you as he passes and yanks the driver side door open with more force than necessary.

"Let's make this quick." He grunts out, climbing inside.

You do the same, only with a little bit more enthusiasm. ***

The trip is a complete bust.

Joel barely paid you any attention, no matter how many flirty gestures you made at him.

You'd say something remotely suggestive and he'd either glare at you, or just flat out ignore you.

But you were relentless. Giving up on him wasn't in the cards for you, no matter how many judgmental looks he casted your way.

You guys had been driving back to town for around five minutes; Joel has kept his eyes firmly on the road in fear of you sparking a conversation with him.

But you do anyways.

You turn your body to face him in the bench seat, your eyes cascading down his breath-taking side profile.

You zoned in on the gray patches of his beard, and how his face had the remnants of a long, unforgiving life weaved into his wrinkles and scars.

You're momentarily rendered speechless by his looks before he side-eyes you.

"What?" He huffs out, not being able to handle your intense stare any longer.

"Why not?"

A beat.

"What?" He asks again, his brows furrowing together, an annoyed and confused expression painting his features.

"Why won't you fuck me?"

Joel physically winces at your language, scoffing in what looks to be disgust as he starts shaking his head.

"We're not starting this." He snaps firmly, a tone in his voice that you haven't heard before.

Completely disregarding his words, you start.

"Is it because I'm not pretty enough?" Joel groans out, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Is it because there's someone else?" He's close to snapping. "Is it because you can't get it up? I heard thats a problem with guys your age-"

Joel slams on the brakes, sending you lurching forward. He shoves the truck into park before turning to face you, a scary look on his face.

"I am not going to fuck you--Christ almighty," Joel raises his voice at you.

You're staring at him, wide eyes and lips parted in surprise. You weren't really expecting this.

"you're bustin' my fuckin' balls, Look kid," He starts up again, this time with a softer tone. "M'about 40 years too old for you-"

You cut him off with a murmur. "36, I did the math."

"Same damn thing," he snaps, shaking his head. "Point is—you don't needa be wastin' your time with me; there are plenty boys your age that will satisfy your...you."

You scoff in his face but try to disguise it by clearing your throat.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Joel," You start, a sad smile spreading across your lips. "S'just sex." You say with a shrug, blush coating your cheeks because now your mind is imagining sex with him.

He stays silent and looks away from you, closing his eyes like he couldn’t believe this was happening.

That urges you to say more.

"I won't tell anyone," You're practically whispering, looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap. "I'd let you do anything you wanted to me."

Joel's heart cinches in his chest at your words, mostly because he can tell you're being so genuine.

Why the hell did you like him so much? He just couldn’t understand it.

But he can't entertain this any longer because he knows if he did, he'd give into you.

"I don't wanna hear another goddamn word outta your mouth." Joel says in a strikingly even and calm tone, putting the truck into drive and continuing back.

He's eerily silent, and so is the rest of the trip because you're too dejected to speak.

Eventually, you both arrive home and you're fast to get out of the truck.

You slam the door and keep your head down as you walk away, snow crunching beneath your boots.

Joel takes his time, watching you storm off with tired eyes.

He feels bad for being so rough on you, but he figured it was the only way to get you to stop liking him.

Tommy walks up, a concerned look on his face as he looks back between you and Joel.

"Guessin' you didn't fuck her."

***

Nobody had seen you in days.

The pain of rejection had you in a mental place that you had never experienced before.

No one has ever denied you—ever.

The situation was 100x worse considering you actually liked Joel, and he wasn't just another toy to play with.

Joel figured his life would get easier with you not around, and it kinda did in some aspects.

But he couldn't stop the gnawing feeling of guilt slowly eating at him like a parasite.

He'd been cruel to you in the way he went about things, and he felt bad.

Had he really broken your heart? He didn't know you liked him that much.

He sits in his living room, contemplating how to go about this entirely fucked up situation.

He debates making amends with you, apologizing and rejecting you again but in a gentler way.

He deliberates on his plan of action while nursing a glass of whiskey before he's interrupted by three bangs on his front door, followed by a screeching: "JOEL"

He mutters a 'what the fuck' under his breath, walking to the door and picking his 9mil up on the way.

His eyes widen when he sees you-standing there in all your glory.

It's the middle of winter and snowing like hell, yet you're wearing shorts and a tank top with a beer bottle in your hand.

"Jesus, kid-what the fuck," Joel ushers you inside quickly, taking his big jacket off the coatrack and draping it over you.

He also tosses his gun to the side, obviously you were no threat.

"You tryin' to get frostbit? Christ," he's swearing and muttering profanities as he guides you over to the couch, now basically swaddling you in blankets.

You've never been inside his house before, only ever walked passed it a few times. It smells like him.

You, however, smell like alcohol and bad decisions.

Joel picked up on how drunk you were the minute you stumbled through the door. He takes the bottle from your hand and sets it aside somewhere, glaring at you like how a mad parent would.

"The hell are you doin' out in the snow like that? Fuckin' death wish or somethin'?"

His words are kinda fuzzy in your ears, you're so drunk that you barely even register them.

An unprompted giggle spills from your lips as you shake your head at him.

"It's not snowing silly," You chide, making him out to be an idiot when, in actuality, it's a damn blizzard outside.

He knows from that statement alone that you are way off your rocker tonight.

"How much have ya had to drink, kid?" Joel asks, raking a hand through his graying hair.

"Don't call me kid," You snap, a quick flash of anger in your expression. "M'not a kid."

Joel rolls his eyes so hard that he probably caused a tsunami on the other side of the world.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. What are you doin’ here?” He asks exasperatedly, dragging a hand down his jaw while looking at your trembling figure.

There’s a long pause before you answer. You just got distracted by his big brown eyes.

“Jus’ wanted to say hi.” You murmur, unable to tear your gaze away from his face.

“Say hi?” He reiterates, looking at you like you’ve actually lost your mind.

You probably have.

After a moment, Joel can’t help but chuckle in disbelief, letting his body lean back against the couch.

The absurdity of it all turned humorous to him.

Here you are, sitting in his living room, practically nude with only his coat and blankets protecting your modesty, having just trekked through the snow all for what? To say hey?

You’re still sitting there, motionless and trying to remember how to breathe because his laughing face has your heart lighting off fireworks.

“Fuckin’ hell—hi.” Is all he says, turning his head to the side to look at you as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You smile like a dope at him, so extremely happy to be there in his company.

But the alcohol in your system is fighting you, and you’re finding it hard to keep your eyes open.

“S’it cool if I say the nigh?” You slur, falling vertically on the couch, your head crashing onto Joel’s thigh.

You nuzzle your cheek against the fabric of his jeans and Joel is just about to gently push you off, but he stops himself.

You look so comfortable and so at peace that Joel can’t do anything except stare at you.

Your cheek is slightly smushed, your lips are parted, your eyes are shut and don’t plan on opening—it’s insane to him how at home you looked.

Like you belonged here, head rested on his lap.

Fuck.

He was fucked this time.

He doesn’t move you. Instead, he fixes the blankets on top of you so you’re fully covered, and sits there with you the entire night.

He’s really gone soft.

***

When morning comes, you’re first to wake up, accompanied by a splitting headache.

You don’t even notice how Joel’s hand had fallen onto your waist some time during the night because you’re too busy making a b-line for the bathroom.

You chuck your guts up into the toliet, clutching the porcelain and groaning out in pain.

Joel wakes up to the sound of your hurling, momentarily disoriented before he remembers last nights events.

He’s quick to come to your aid in the bathroom, wasting no time gathering your hair in his fist to get it out of your face.

"S'right, get it all out," He murmurs out encouragingly, seemingly unfazed by the disheveled sight of you.

You’re too sick to be embarrassed, that’ll come later surely.

He sits on the wall of the tub as he continues holding your hair back, yawning every now and then like this was just a regular Tuesday morning.

Eventually, by the mercy of God, you get it all out of your system and slump up against the wall.

“M’sorry,” You immediately apologize, figuring that is the only right move in this situation.

“Don’t be. Been through plenty'a that in my day.”

His words are uncharacteristically reassuring and you find yourself taken back by them.

You soon realize this is probably just the hazy morning Joel, the Joel where he isn't worried about anything except coffee and breakfast—like everything wrong in his life is put on the back burner for this short minute in time.

“I’ll get you some water and Advil, sit tight.” He grunts before standing up on his feet, knees popping as he walks out.

You watch as he leaves, wiping the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand.

Aside from the vomit part, you could get used to this.

You've never seen him so...domestic. His hair was all messy, his voice was raspy, he had that morning haze over his features that you felt so honored to witness.

You suddenly felt compelled to look at your own appearance, hopping to your feet and looking in the dirty mirror.

You resist the urge to audibly gasp at your reflection, opting for a disgusted look instead.

Your hair is a rats nest, your clothes are a mess, and your mascara has rubbed off in black smudge all over the skin around your eyes.

In a desperate attempt to look at least semi-presentable, you wash your face with water and comb through your hair with your fingers.

The idea that Joel had seen you looking like that was making your stomach churn again.

Before you can grovel about it any longer, he rounds the corner with a glass of water and little brown pills in his hand.

“Here,” He says softly, handing you the water and tilting the pills into your open palm. “Take these ‘n drink all that water and ya should get to feelin’ better.”

You do as he says, swallowing the Advil in one go before taking a big sip to wash it down.

His eyes drift down to your shoulder, where your tank top strap has fallen. No doubt from all that vigorous throwing up you were doing moments ago.

Without thinking, his fingers graze your forearm before bringing the strap back up to its correct position, clearing his throat in the process.

A beat of silence falls over the both of you.

You’re gobsmacked by the complete nonchalance of his touch, staring at him with your mouth slightly open in shock.

“What?” He asks defensively, his tone pointed.

You look between him and your shoulder strap, then slowly move to set your water down.

“Are you sure we can’t fuck?”

“Goddammit—” Joels cursing before you can even finish saying the last word in your sentence.

He turns away from you, probably the fastest you’ve seen anyone turn in their life, and walks towards his room with an accelerating pace.

He shakes his head in disbelief all the way down the hall, pivoting on his heel to duck into his bedroom.

You follow him, not really fazed by how he completely refused to answer your question, though you didn’t think he would anyway.

Before you can step foot into the threshold of his room, Joel walks out, causing you to back up.

He shoves a stack of clothes in your direction, looking down at you with a frustrated face. “Put these clothes on and go home.”

You look down, realizing he was letting you borrow a sweater and jeans of his so you didn’t die walking back to your house from the cold.

Your heart warms at this thoughtfulness.

Without wasting any time, you take the clothes from his hands, smiling happily. “Can I keep them?”

“Why the hell would you wanna keep my clothes?” He’s got that confused/angry look on his face as he asks, and you have to suppress a giggle at the sight of it.

You bring the pieces of fabric up to your nose and inhale, humming as you breathe out again. “They smell like you.”

“Christ,” Joel beings his hands up to rub at his eyes. “Fine, do whatever. Just hurry up and change, jesus,"

Ever the tease, you set down his clothes and begin to lift your tank top like you planned to change right in front of him.

Joel's hands shoot out to stop you, a 'don't try me,' look on his face.

"Put them on over your clothes," Joel says sternly, watching the way you sigh because you weren't fast enough in lifting your tank top off.

However, you sieze the opportunity in front of you.

Joel's hands are holding yours down, so you work to intertwine your fingers, invading his space by stepping forward.

"Or, you could take my clothes off," You purr, your chest now flush with his torso.

Joel exhales through his nose, his jaw clenching as he tried deciding how he was going to get out of this situation.

But then he paused.

Looking down at you now, so eager and wide eyed, made him wonder.

If he fucked you, and made you realize it wasn't what you were probably imagining in your head, maybe then you'd finally leave him alone.

He would just...pretend to be awful at sex.

(Even though it had been so long and he wasn't sure if he'd actually need to 'pretend' anymore.)

There's a long silence that drags out between the both of you.

Your stomach is doing flips because it's looking like he's finally going to agree.

His resolve cracks and Joel can't do anything but sigh in defeat.

Slowly, Joel pulls you back into his room, closing the door behind you both.

Time is moving in slow motion.

You can't believe it's finally happening.

He guides you back until the back of your knees hit his bed, prompting you to sit down on it.

"I'm only going to do this once," Joel's voice is uncharacteristically low and calm, and it has your core tightening.

You nod in acknowledgement, waiting to see what he's going to do next.

With care, he pushes your shoulder down so you're laying on your back. "Are you sure you want this?" He asks, brown eyes searching yours.

"Have I not made it obvious?" You quip, a giggle following shortly after.

Joel only shakes his head before his fingers latch around the fabric of your shorts, pulling them down and off your legs.

"S'pose you have." He murmurs, scratching the back of his neck.

You're vibrating with excitement and you repeat what you tried earlier, only this time succeeding with taking your top off.

Of course, you're not wearing a bra.

Joel realizes in that moment that he bit off way more than he could chew.

He hasn't seen breast that weren't on a soggy piece of paper in at least a few years, and yours--well, his cock stood no chance.

You hear him swallow, watching as he can't seem to stop staring at your chest.

Realizing that he might need a little encouragement to start speeding things along, you smile up at him and whisper, "touch me Joel".

Yeah, screw this. His plan of pretending to be bad was now entirely forgotten—he was going to do what he wanted, so help him god.

He huffs out a curse before sliding a hand up your torso, stopping once he's fully cupped one of your breasts in one hand. He kneads it like dough while using his other hand to disappear under your panties.

A choked moan erupts from your lips once you feel his fingers brush along your clit, rubbing around and spreading your slick around all too slowly.

"haven't even done anythin' yet and you're already fuckin' soaked..." He murmurs really to just himself, his eyes casting down to watch as he rips your underwear off impatiently.

"M'always like this whenever you're around," you mewl to spur him on, spreading your legs wider.

"Oh you are, huh?" Joel repeats back, the tiniest bit of cruelty in his tone that makes you shiver.

You nod, bucking your hips into his hand desperately.

"don't get why you like an old man like me, s'gross." His tone is flat but it's clear he's teasing by the way he curls his fingers inside of you. He's not really expecting a response, but you feel compelled.

You lurch forward, gasping at the feeling. "I really like you," You rush out breathlessly. "I'd do anything you wanted me to." You say earnestly as you stare into his eyes, loving what you're seeing.

Joel remembers when you told him that the first time, his heart cinching the same way it did then.

Joel is at war with himself. One side of him is screaming that this whole situation is fucked up and he is better off without you.

Another part of him thinks that this is the most he’s ever felt in a long time. And he doesn't want to lose it.

You can see the gears turning in his head. His fingers have slipped from you and you wince at the loss.

Slowly, you sit up. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, your nipples pressing into his shirt.

He's confused and momentarily panicked when your faces get so close together, his hands seeking purchase on your hips.

In an unexpected move, you rake your hands through the side of his hair, looking lovingly at his face.

"I just wanna be someone for you," You murmur, your face breaking a little as Joel's resolve also cracks. "Doesn't matter what. I'm very versatile." You mumble the last part to try and lighten the mood.

Joel just stares at you—something swimming behind his eyes that you can't quite place.

Eventually, he crashes his forehead against yours, sighing out.

"You're makin' this fuckin' impossible." He rasps before kissing you with a passion you've never felt before.

You feel victorious.

He's finally given in to you.

Eagerly, you kiss back, wrapping your legs around his torso and grinding your bare cunt against the bulge in his jeans.

"Then stop trying so hard to get rid of me," You sigh out, chasing his lips even as you're trying to speak.

He groans and you catch it in your mouth, the pressure on his clothed cock making him dizzy.

“Fuck,” He’s quick to unbuckle his belt, sliding it out of the loops and tossing it somewhere on the floor. “Lay back.” He demands and you immediately follow suit.

He's never been that...assertive with you before. It makes you tingle all over.

He looks starved as he peers down at you, specifically your cunt.

He literally can’t tear his eyes off your sex—he only looks up to your gaze when you let out an impatient whine.

He rips down his pants, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach.

Now you can’t tear your eyes away from his sex.

You’ve only dreamt it so many times, but now that it’s finally in front of you—it all just feels surreal.

It’s better than you imagined, perfect.

“I don’t have a—”

You know what he’s about to say so you cut him off immediately. “S’okay, like it raw. Closer to you that way.” You murmur.

Joel looks physically pained that he’s not inside you right now. For some reason, you just know all the right things to say.

“Closer to me?” He huffs out, hooking his arms around your thighs and pulling you down to the edge of the bed where he stood.

Now your cunt is flush with the base of his member and the sensation drives you both insane. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”

Joel rasps, but the way he says it reveals just how far he’s fallen. He knows you’re crazy, and yet here he is, balancing you out.

He glides his member back and forth against your folds, gathering up your wetness with a clenched jaw and furrowed brows.

He looks so concentrated—meanwhile you’re writhing with pleasure and impatience. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for him.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he murmurs to himself, eyes tracing all over you.

You freeze.

Joel had complimented you for the first time, and it was genuine.

He notices you stiffen and takes a moment to pause.

Your entire body erupts with goosebumps, your heart beating at exceptionally fast speeds.

He's worried for a second that something is horribly wrong.

“What?” He asks, confused at what’s got you so wound up.

Your face is flushed red as you bashfully giggle. “You called me pretty.”

Ah fuck.

Joel finds you so charming it hurts.

After he remembers how to breathe again, he rolls his eyes and clears his throat.

“I have my cock to your cunt, of course I find you pretty.”

You smile and shrug. “Still. Nice to hear.” You’re all smiles until his tip prods at your entrance, causing a gasp to leave your throat.

He continues to apply pressure with his tip and it’s driving you crazy.

“Fuck Joel—are you trying to kill me?” You whine, hips wiggling to get him in.

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Relax, m’almost there.”

Slowly, he begins pushing his way inside. His mushroom head breaches you entirely and it feels like you can hear the angels singing.

He continues forward, the stretch being mainly around the middle of his thick cock.

But you’re taking it like a champ.

Joel braces himself with hands on both sides of your torso as he bottoms out, a groan crawling its way out of his throat.

The sensation is absolutely delicious.

A little bit of pain from the stretch, but so much pleasure from the fullness.

“Joel, ohmygod you feel so good inside me.” You moan, throwing your head back.

Your hips start moving on their own, but he immediately stops you with two large hands.

“D-Don’t move—fuck.” Joel grumbles out, his face pinched together in what looked like pain.

You’re confused for a moment, thinking maybe that he might just be really into cockwarming.

But then it hits you.

“Were you gonna come?” The tone in your voice makes it seem like you’d be elated if that was the case—like the most flattering thing in the world.

Joel looks pissed that you caught on so quick.

In truth, the moment he put his tip in, he was holding back his orgasm.

Can you blame him? He’s only fucked his hand for the last couple years.

“S’been a while.” Is all he can say, his chest heaving up and down in concentration. You know he’s embarrassed, but you can’t help but smile like a dope at him.

“If you come, please do it inside, please,” you beg, reaching out for his arms that caged you in.

Joel's rational mind feels like it just touched down in looney town after hearing your begging.

He feels crazy because he liked the thought of the idea you proposed. You even see him hesitate. But then he scoffs and shakes his head.

Joel drops down closer to your face, slowly starting to rock his hips into you. "Tryin' to baby trap me, girl?" He grunts in your ear, making you moan out.

Your walls are clenching down on him, and it’s making it that much harder to hold back. “No-no, promise, just wanna be full of you." You manage to blubber out...unconvincingly.

You probably didn't really want a baby with Joel, but your lust-driven brain was working on fumes and you just wanted to do what felt good.

Joel's grunting in your ear was not helping things. His fingers were gripping your hip so hard, you figured it would probably bruise tomorrow

Good. You wanted whatever he would give you.

"Christ--m'not gonna last much longer," Joel groans, picking his head up a little to meet your gaze. He wanted to kick himself for not being able to last, but when he saw your face, all those feelings disappeared.

You looked so--perfect. Soaking up the moment in case it was the last, god you hoped it wasn't the last time. Now that you've finally had a tase of him, you weren't sure you could live without it.

Your legs tighten around his waist, keeping him firmly in your cunt. Joel notices this and also your pleading eyes, a growl leaving his throat.

"Please, please, please, please," you beg, never breaking eye contact with him as his thrusts pick up speed.

He ruins your long string with pleas with a needy kiss, shoving his tongue down your throat like a starving man.

You accept it happily, moaning out into the kiss while Joel manhandles your hips to take his cock.

The feeling is damn near euphoric for both you and him. It gets even better when Joel's hand comes down to rub at your clit again.

Your back arches off the bed as you gasp and moan out, wrapping your arms back around his shoulders. "F-Fuck!" You moan into his ear, probably drooling on his shoulder in the process. "thankyouthankyouthankyou-" you sputter out in choked sobs. He was really good at working on your clit, you couldn't do anything else but thank him for it.

Joel feels a surge of something when he hears you. He's never had a woman thank him in bed before.

It's enough to push him over the edge. And apparently you too.

"I'm gonna come Joel, please don't stop," There are pools of tears in your eyes that Joel is just now noticing. He's about to reply to you, but he finds himself speechless when he feels your cunt start constricting and fluttering around him like a vice.

"Fuck!" He groans out loudly, his hips starting to falter in their rhythm. But then he picks up speed again, and in no time he's like a madman jackhammering into you.

You're a mess of screams and cries and moans underneath him, happily taking everything he was giving you.

When Joel feels himself about to come, he notices how your legs are still tightly wrapped around him, keeping him inside, and he manages to scoff out.

"Gotta let me go baby," You've never heard that pet name from him before, and it makes you crumble. His hands move to grab at your thighs, kneading the flesh there.

You whine out but reluctantly release the grip your legs had on him. Joel doesn't waste time before hugging both your legs on his chest, keeping them firmly placed while your feet squirmed by his ear.

"Atta girl," he murmurs before picking up speed again, his cock head pressing into your cervix.

It's all too much for you. Joel looks so amazing pounding into you from above, his concentrated face, his sweat, the way his salt and pepper hair is all disheveled, you're losing your mind.

Your core is on fire and you can't stop yourself.

In a staggering turn of events, you come first.

Your walls come down like bricks on his dick, you cry out, throwing your head back in complete bliss and ecstasy.

Seeing and feeling this, Joel is quick to follow in your steps. He rips himself from that warm hole of yours and pumps himself dry onto your stomach.

You watch it all with wide eyes, you wouldn't have missed Joel's orgasm face for the world!

Of course, his eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth was open as he was breathing heavily, and his eyebrows turned down like he was mad.

God he was so beautiful.

His thick ropes of cum shoot all over your stomach and even your breasts as he jerks himself off to completion.

When he finishes, he takes a moment to catch his breath, finally opening his eyes to see you scoop up his cum from your breast with your finger and shove it in your mouth.

Your tongue swirls around his seed and you swallow eagerly, humming out in satisfaction at the taste of him.

Joel's watching in complete fascination, though his expression looks a little angry. When does it not?

"taste so good," you mumble with your finger still in your mouth, looking up at him with your big eyes.

He moves before he can think about it--ripping your hand away from your lips and caging you in a slow but deep kiss.

He soon falls down beside you and soon rolls over onto his back, his chest rising and falling from the excursion.

You curl into his side, watching his side profile so intently. You had just fucked Joel Miller.

And it was everything you had dreamed of. Extreme happiness doesn't even begin to describe your feelings right now.

There's a long stretch of silence that drapes over the both of you. Eventually, Joel breaks it with something extremely off topic.

"Last night...you didn't just come here to say 'hi', did you?"

You're momentarily speechless, not expecting that question from him at all. But you can't stop a giggle from coming through your lips.

"Actually, I came to confront you." Your voice is soft as you begin speaking, thinking back to last night's ordeal.

Joel doesn't expect this answer, his head turns to look at you while you speak. His arm comes down to drape over your shoulder.

"I was really upset cus you rejected me n'all. I just couldn't accept the whole, 'age gap' excuse. I wanted to know if you just really didn't like me or not." You're murmuring, drawing soft lines with your finger on the skin of Joel's chest.

He huffs out a breath at the explanation, shaking his head. "Guess you got your answer, huh." He grumbles out, somewhat ashamed of himself that he couldn't hold back.

You smile and lean up to kiss his cheek. "I did," you chirp happily, admiring his face again. "You know you're gonna have to fuck me, like, everyday now, right?"

You're kidding. But you're also not at all.

Joel scoffs and sits up, moving to pick up both his and your shirts. "Fat chance. Barely had enough stamina for one round." He grunts out, finding the neck hole in your tank top and putting it over your head for you.

You don't bother to pull it down over your breasts so Joel does it for you.

"It's okay, we can build up your tolerance over time." You quip with a teasing smile, loving the way Joel turned to glare a you.

He couldn't believe the youth these days.

[johanna-swann]

I actually have sooo many issues with 911 lately that haven't even got much to do with any ships.

Like. They wrote out almost all of the side characters. Chris is gone, Linda and Sue are gone, Athena's kids are gone (even though Harry just moved in with her and Bobby again? Seriously, where is Harry?), Ravi is gone, Carla is gone. I know the GA maybe don't care that much, casual viewers might not even have noticed that this many characters have just vanished from the show, but in my opinion this is one of the things that give a show running as long as 911 life. Having a big cast is a good thing. Otherwise things are going to get very monotonous very soon.

Actually, that's my second point. They keep repeating storylines! Every season Hen and Karen have to fight a custody battle over one of their kids.

Every season Eddie ends up realising he has a lot of repressed trauma and issues which keep him from leading a healthy happy and free life.

Every season Bathena realise that they have communication issues and they fight about it, but then something traumatic happens and they forgive each other without ever really talking things out.

Every season we are reminded that Maddie's most prominent character trait is "traumatised", the writers just alternatingly bring up Doug again and sometimes the ppd arc.

Every season we see Buck being somewhat restless, looking and searching for something that will bring him true happiness and cycling through love interests that never stick around and each time when you think "oh, there it is, he's getting somewhere now" the writers go "BEEEP! WRONG!" and we start all over again. [This is not just about recent events aka Tommy, the break-up and Buck potentially going back to his 1.0 ways, this also happened in season 6 when he had his "it doesn't matter what other people see in me, I'm enough" revelation only to suddenly be like "omg, Natalia just sees me".]

And Chimney- he had his moment last season with the wedding episode, Kenneth Choi really ate that episode up, but his most prominent character trait is "Maddie's supportive husband". There's really not that much going on with him otherwise.

Another point I briefly touched upon above is consistency. Like Harry moving back in with Athena and Bobby and then just vanishing. Or Gerrard being more like a slightly unfriendly grandpa than an actual antagonist in season 8 when he was still spouting slurs in season 7.

And the timeline! We talked about this before ("last March", Mara's fostering to adoption timeline, Tommy tranferring to harbour "5 years ago"), but the newest "Tommy was actually Abby's Tommy" twist just adds to that. Tommy was with Abby for over 2 years. They were engaged. This was at a time when he was still at the 118. Tommy dated Abby presumably because he was in denial or maybe because he was hiding. In either case, wouldn't his team at least have heard about his fiancée, Abby the dispatcher? Wouldn't that have rung a bell when Buck eventually brought her around only a year or two later? Tommy did talk about his private life at least a little at work, even under Gerrard. It just doesn't make sense. (Not to mention this seems wildly out of character for Tommy who around the same time also said about himself "being single is easier".)

Then there's the pacing. This was a huge issue in season 7. They jumped from one personal soap opera drama to the next without taking any breathers, had almost no procedural in their drama the whole season, still somehow decided to spend one third of the entire season just on the opening disaster and also squeezed in a "Bobby begins for the third time now" episode. But okay, it was a shortened season, there were strikes, they switched networks, they were under a lot of pressure - I'll cut them some slack. At least they set up a bunch of interesting stuff for the following season.

But we're in season 8 now. The renewal was announced very early, they had a lot of time to plan this time. Also they have almost double the episodes they had last season, there's really no need to rush any of the major plots. I am done cutting them slack.

They wanna do a 3 part opening disaster again? Okay fine, you have the time now. I feel like they could've easily done it in 2 episodes (especially 8x02 felt a little "eh"), but okay. Better than the breakneck speed you were going at befo- Oh, what's that? 8x04 flying in with a steel chair. You resolved 70% percent of the plots you set up last season in one single episode with no build up, no emotional pay off and no lasting consequences? And you also squeezed in multiple unrelated calls at the same time? Damn, okay then. Good-bye potentially interesting storylines. Fuck me for being invested I guess. I thought there would at least maybe be some follow up in 8x05, but no.

Now that Halloween episode wasn't bad, it was actually the best episode of this season imo, but instead of following up on previously established conflicts and developments they just hit us with new Wilson family trauma and conflict that was also immediately fixed again. And now 8x06 has speedrun and dumped another storyline that had potential to go to deeper and interesting places. Not gonna talk too much about that though because this post is about the show as a whole, not ships.

And I am not yet convinced that there will be much more to come on the only thing that's left from last season: Eddie's deep dive into his trauma and repression. It's totally possible at this point that being told "you deserve nice things" by a random stranger actually solved all of his problems, it would be very in tone with 911's new style.

What are they even gonna do with the rest of this season? Revisiting the Hotshots set sounds fun, but ultimately inconsequential. You know what's great about a regular old procedural drama with ~20 episodes per season that comes on weekly? You have time. You can let the viewers sit with their emotions and thoughts for a week and keep them engaged by stretching things out a little.

But why should I bother getting emotionally invested in problems the characters are gonna solve within the same episode anyway? Or rather, even if I wanted to, how am I supposed to care if you don't give me the time to develop any feelings about anything that's happening? "Henren lost in court and are now completely forbidden from seeing Mara at all!" Damn, that must be so har- "JUST KIDDING! Ortiz is exposed and everything is perfect again now." Oh. Okay then, I guess.

Bottom line: The characters are all stuck in their own hamster wheels, they keep cutting side characters that could bring a breeze of fresh air (I'm honestly surprised they even kept Josh until now), they rush through all the storylines a such a ridiculous speed that I don't even have time to feel any sort of way about it, they don't even try to keep a consistency or sensible timeline going and they seem to strongly prioritise random funny bits that'll entertain the very casual viewers right now in this moment (tiger call, Billy Boils, Bee-nado, the 'Stache tm, "wait, it's the same Abby?", Gerrard being a fangirl at heart) instead of playing the long game and catering to people who actually pay a little attention to the show.

[On that last remark: I'm not talking about hardcore fans who analyse every single frame here, I mean casual fans who've watched the show on and off again for a while and who may not be involved in fandom but genuinely care about the show.]

I mean. What am I even still doing here? The show is treading water and I end up disappointed more often than not. I'm still holding out a little hope that they actually will do something interesting with Eddie and his sea-monkeys, but I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.

[simplyholl]

The Interview

Summary: After a talk show interview where secrets are revealed, things get heated in your dressing room.

Pairing: Rockstar Bucky x F. Reader

Warnings: Smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI. Rockstar AU.

See My Masterlist Here

A/N: Sebastian Stan as Tommy Lee has me in a chokehold. So this was born from my tatted, horny daydreams.

"Who is your celebrity crush?" The host of the Midnight Show, Chet Smith asked you. Your newest movie was a box office hit, so you had to do every talk show to promote it. To say you were exhausted is an understatement. Luckily, this was your last stop for today. This show was the most fun because Chet brought out all the celebrity guests together. At least you weren't by yourself answering awkward questions.

The other guests were Red Star, the hottest rock band at the moment. They went viral while playing at their local bar. An audience member threw a bottle at their lead singer, Loki and the whole band jumped off stage to fight. They were offered a record deal the same week.

They are known for their wild videos on TikTok. Women everywhere love them. Currently, they are squeezed on the small sofa with you for the interview. Bucky Barnes, their drummer sat on one side of you, his tattoos drew you in like a moth to a flame. You were doing your best to not stare at him the whole time.

The Odinson brothers, Thor and Loki were on the other side. Loki is the lead singer, his long, dark curls and piercing stare made men and women weak in the knees. Thor plays guitar and he is the band's himbo. He's a charmer, flirting with you the whole interview. Steve Rogers is their bassist, an All-American guy to balance the others out. He plays the part well, flashing his megawatt smile at the live audience. But you can tell there is a darker side to him lurking under the surface.

You consider Chet's question; your PR team warned you about questions like this. "Well, I don't really have one." You shrug your shoulders, as the audience begs for a real answer. "Come on, darling. I know you're lying." Loki smirks, reaching his hand over Thor to rub your thigh.

"If I go first, will that help?" Steve asks, being the helpful guy that he is. You nod smiling shyly at him. "Okay, but when it's your turn you have to be honest." He winks at you, and the audience goes wild. He answers one of your costars. You promise to hook them up later. You feel your cheeks heating up, suddenly embarrassed that you have to answer now.

Chet repeats the question, and you bite your lip, pointing beside you to Bucky. "My celebrity crush is actually this guy." Bucky looks ecstatic, high fiving his band members as they congratulate him as if he has won an award. Thor's answer is a pretty pop star who he had been spotted out with twice already.

Loki's celebrity crush is a famous author whose upcoming book features a main male character who looks suspiciously like him. Dating rumors swirled even though there was no proof, except for a few flirty comments between them on Instagram. When it's Bucky's turn he says you, draping his heavily tattooed arm around you. You smile, grateful that he lied to save you from public humiliation. You were sure he was going to say someone who didn't look anything like you.

You're already dreading what the headlines tomorrow had in store. You and Bucky cuddled up on this sofa would no doubt be on every website. You should have lied, you tell yourself. People will start shipping you, his fans would be saying horrible things about you. You should have said anyone else.

Red Star took the stage to close the show. They were playing their latest number one hit. The audience was on their feet, some girls were crying as Loki's sultry voice came over the speakers. You watched Bucky closely. He played the drums like it was his life's purpose. He tossed the drumsticks in the air, pointing to you and winking as he caught them. It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen.

When their set was over, Bucky walked toward the dressing rooms with you, stopping outside yours. "Thanks for saying I was your celebrity crush back there. I would have been so embarrassed if you would have said somebody else." He flips his hair out of his eyes. "You don't have to thank me. It was the truth." You tell him goodbye, feeling awkward about the whole thing. You turn to go inside your dressing room to change into comfy clothes before you go back to the hotel.

Thick fingers catch your wrist, pulling you back toward him. "I wasn't ready to tell you bye." Bucky's lips curl, the light shines on his nose ring, bringing attention to his face. When you look into his shining blue eyes, you realize you don't want him to leave either. You grab the sides of his leather jacket, pulling him toward you. His mouth is on yours instantly. He presses you against your dressing room door, his large body covering yours.

You tangle your fingers in his long locks, needing him closer. Bucky hungrily kisses down your neck, while one hand travels under your dress. He rubs his thumb against your soaked panties. "All this for me?" You whine when he rubs harder, your clit making contact with the silky fabric. You move your hips, lost in the moment.

Voices echo down the hallway, bringing you out of your horny haze. "Bucky" You whisper, trying to warn him so he has time to stop before they see you. "Shh. I got you." He moves his body, so he is blocking you from view. His fingers are relentless, dipping inside your panties. His rough thumb rolls over your clit, you bury your face into his chest.

"Oh my God, It's Bucky! We are huge fans!" A woman's voice comes from behind him. You aren't brave enough to look, so you keep your face hidden. "Thanks guys. I love meeting fans. So, what's your favorite song?" You try to pinch him so he will get rid of them, but he continues talking about the world tour they are about to go on.

He enters you with two fingers, curling them as you moan out loud. The women look around him, finally noticing you. "Is she okay?" The second one asks. "Yeah, she's fine. She just ate too much so she has a stomachache." His fingers caress your inner walls, thumb rubbing in small circles. The band in your belly snaps, arousal flooding his hand as you come apart. Your legs shake, and you hold onto his arm to steady yourself. You clench your teeth to keep from making noise.

"You better get her inside; she can barely stand." One of the women says. They tell you both goodbye, as Bucky leads you inside your dressing room. "You did so good for me, but I need more." You look at him incredulously. He just made you cum the hardest you ever had in your life in front of two strangers and that wasn't enough.

Your legs are still trembling as he lifts you onto the vanity. Your back hits the cool mirror as Bucky slides your panties down your legs. His hot breath tickles your thighs as he lowers his face, pressing kisses to your inner thighs. He takes his time, nipping your sensitive skin. He licks a lazy stripe up your center, avoiding where you need him most. His tongue sinks inside you, firm nose pressing against your clit.

You cry out, head falling back, knocking into the mirror behind you. It bangs against the wall, hard enough to rattle the pictures hung there. Bucky drinks every drop of you, moaning as you writhe against his face. His plump lips fasten around your swollen nub, sucking and tugging like he can't get enough.

Your shaking legs close around his head, trapping him as you ride out your high. You cry his name, not caring who hears you. Bucky lifts you, slamming you against the wall. He holds you with one arm, the other works quickly to bring his pants down. His cock springs free, pink tip leaking. You swallow hard, intimidated by his size. "You're so big." You shiver, anticipation putting you on edge. He holds you, lining your bodies up.

"You can take it." He snaps his hips up, slamming into you. You try to adjust as he stretches you, wiggling around to see if the stinging will go away. When it starts feeling good, your arms wrap around his neck, holding on as he pulls out, leaving the tip in. He thrusts back into you, bottoming out. You have never felt so full, he fills every inch of you. He sets a steady rhythm, every part of him feels like it was made for you. You pulse around him, your back hitting against the wall as he sinks impossibly deeper.

Bucky bunches your dress around your hips, thick fingers digging into your skin as he fucks you. You try to meet his thrusts, but you're too weak from the explosive orgasms he already gave you. You hold onto him as he uses your body, his ragged breath on your neck brings forth the familiar pressure in your lower stomach.

"You're doing so good. Fuck! You take me so well." He praises, moving your thigh higher up his torso. He holds it in place, tilting his hips. The new angle makes your vision blur as he deliciously drags against a place you were sure was a myth until this very moment. Your nails dig into the back of his neck as you shatter around him.

Bucky's thrusts grow brutal, taking what he needs from you. "Oh fuck" He moans as he spills inside you. For a moment, you just look at each other, trying to catch your breaths. Thankfully, he knows you can't stand on your own, so he carries you to the sofa. Your dress is still around your waist, arm over your eyes. You can already feel a dull ache in your stomach where he had been just moments ago.

"Do you mind?" Bucky asks, pointing his phone toward you. You narrow your eyes, not understanding. "You're just so fuckin' hot and I wanna remember this." He says, his meaning finally dawning on you. You nod, almost too tired to speak. He angles his phone camera toward you. "Fucking perfect." He examines the photo he just took before showing you.

Your hair is disheveled, giving you the appearance of being caught in a windstorm. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes blown wide with lust. The top of your dress barely contains your breasts. The bottom is by your hips, your exposed cunt glistening with his cum. Bucky set the picture as his phone's background. You protested because you looked like a mess. Bucky stopped your arguing with a kiss. "You know what you look like?" He asks, smiling wide as he turned his phone screen toward you. "What?" You cross your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling insecure. "Mine."

Tags

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[madlori]

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

[space-cowgirllll]

Crush

a/n: soft jackson ellie ily.

not proofread, if you see any mistakes look away lol.

She couldn't stop staring. Sitting on a cold bench in front of Jackson's little schoolhouse, she hides behind the astronomy book she'd recently found while out on patrol. Frozen fingers flip to the next page every couple of seconds, far too fast to actually retain any information. She watches you lead Joel to a particular part of the fence that has clearly seen better days. The wood is rotting and splitting apart in certain spots. No longer safe for the children who play nearby. You nudge the post with the toe of your boot, eyes widening when it topples over. 

Her eyes follow the curve of your neck as you throw your head back, laughing at something Tommy said. Your smile lights up your entire face, sending a flutter of giddiness through her body, almost as if it had been directed at her. She bites her lip, averting her eyes when you crouch down to inspect the damage. Where you found jeans that fit you like that in times like these she'd like to know. One more quick glance and she contemplates walking away, leaving Joel to get dinner by himself.

"What are we looking at?" A familiar voice whispers behind her, causing her to almost drop her book. She clutches it to her chest.

"Nothing!" She whips her head around to find Jesse and Dina behind her. The pair plop down on either side of her watching while the two men try to make the broken piece work until Joel can come back and replace it later. You stand off to the side chatting, not wanting to get in their way. Ellie marvels at how pretty you look under the street lights. Your hair a messy halo of waves, making you look angelic. 

"So," Jesse knocks his knee against hers "Are you ever gonna actually talk to her?"

"I talk to her!" Ellie scowls. "She comes over to Joel's for dinner once a week."

"Oh, we know." He interrupts "We've been invited."

"It was brutal."  Dina winces. 

The couple quietly tease Ellie, reminiscing over that night a few months ago. She had begged them to come and serve as a buffer between you and her. They spent the whole night watching Ellie try and fail to not make a complete fool of herself. Stumbling over her words and cracking lame jokes that left her screaming into her pillow later that night in embarrassment. Jesse's foot kicking her under the table when she stared for too long. Ellie listens with a pout on her face. 

"You guys are the worst." She groans. Her eyes travel back to where you stand, widening a little when she sees you already staring. There's a tiny smile playing on the edge of your lips. Heat rises to her cheeks when you send her a little wave. Sorry, you mouth, gesturing to Joel and Tommy.

Dina's giggle seems to catch your attention. You shift from Ellie's flushed face to the brunette beside her. The two of you share a look, seemingly having a conversation with just your eyes. There's a sly smirk on your face when you finally look away. Her brows furrow in confusion. In that moment, Ellie wishes she spoke girl better. 

"You know what? Surprisingly, I think she might like you too." Her best friend pats her thigh as she stands. "Do something about it before she finds someone else who will actually make a move." 

She grabs a confused Jesse by the hand, leading him in the direction of her house. The two whispering as they go. 

Ellie digs the heel of her sneaker into the ground, the thin layer of snow crunching underneath her foot. Most of the people in her life knew about her little crush. The way she offers to take your patrol shifts if it was too cold. Always on the lookout for things that would brighten up your small classroom. Volunteering when you ask for help with random little tasks during town meetings. She isn't as subtle as she thought. There's no way you don't know she's spent the past year and a half pining after you and haven't said anything. 

Not only is she ridiculously awkward, Ellie speculates your disinterest also comes from the three year age gap between you two. At twenty four, you probably see her as a little girl with a crush. 

She can see how much you enjoy spending time with Joel, especially after your grandfather's passing. She would hate to ruin that for you. It's better for everyone if she keeps her mouth shut.

____

It isn't until a week later that Ellie sees you again. She's shirtless in the middle of her makeshift home in the garage just feet behind Joel's house. There's a small pile of discarded tops sitting at the foot of her bed. She huffs, trying to find one that nice enough, but doesn't make it look like she tried too hard.

You stopped by the stables in the morning, making plans with Joel for dinner and a game of poker. Ellie hid behind Shimmer, trying to think of a way to get out of tonight when a look from Joel told her she had no choice. She fumbles with the last couple of buttons on the flannel, too lost in thought to hear the sound of the door opening. 

"Ellie, food's read- oh!" 

"Shit!" She spins around to find you standing in the doorway, eyes fixed on her panicked face as she pops the last button open. Ellie shoves her arms into the sleeves of the maroon flannel she'd borrowed from Dina, knowing it probably matched the color of her flushed cheeks. At least she'd thought to put on a bra.

"In my defense, I knocked twice." You state as you slowly make your way around the room, pausing to inspect the posters hung on her walls. She watches you pick up the comic she'd thrown on the coffee table earlier. Your eyes light up in recognition. "Oh hey! My grandpa used to read these to me. I think I have some you're missing if you ever wanna see them." 

Her breath catches in her throat at the prospect of spending more time with you. "Really?" She grins. "I'd like that."

You nod, walking slowly towards her. Your footsteps loud in the quiet room. Ellie watches the way your piercing gaze roams her face, slipping to her exposed torso for just a second before locking eyes with her. She hopes you didn't hear the embarrassing way her breath hitches when you replace her clumsy fingers with yours. Ellie basks in the warmth radiating from your body as you button up her shirt, your warm breath hitting her temple. 

"Cute." You smirk looking down at her. "Really makes your eyes pop." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, you step back towards the door. "Don't make us wait too long."

Ellie stands frozen, heart pounding in her chest, listening to your retreating footsteps wondering what the hell just happened.  ——

After another slightly awkward dinner, she was shocked when you showed up at her doorstep again that night, this time waiting until she opened the door. Giving her a shy smile, you'd held out a box full of old comics, letting her know there was no rush on returning them. Ellie still remembers the grin that bloomed on your face when she'd invited you in. 

The two of you rarely left each other's side after that. Your friendship blossoming in the months that followed. It helped that you liked to talk and Ellie liked to listen to you talk. Most nights were spent together, either at your place or hers. She loved it when you read to her while she drew in her sketchbook. Some nights she would attempt to teach you how to play some of her favorite video games, enjoying how cute you looked when you were pouting after losing to her. The two of you had even started growing a dvd collection, always fighting over what movie to watch (she let you win almost every time.) 

She couldn't believe how quickly you'd become such a big part of her life. Ellie still had the urge to pinch herself on the mornings when she'd wake up to you sleeping soundly next to her. And on the nights where she'd stay awake, late into the early hours of the morning, memorizing every inch of your face, the magnitude of her feelings for you scared her. She'd do anything for you. 

Which is how she finds herself standing in the corner of the room nursing a drink, doing what she does best - watching you. You've been looking forward to the winter dance for weeks, begging Ellie to come with. The sweet look on your face when she walked through the door sent a rush of excitement through her.

You stay by her side all night until one of your friends pulls  you to the makeshift dance floor, managing to get Ellie out for one song before she quickly retreats back to where she was despite your protests. You're glowing under the twinkling lights, dancing and singing your way around the room. The navy blue sweater she'd gifted you for Christmas last month fits you like a glove.

"So where's your girl?" She looks up to find Jesse standing there, his face covered in a thin sheen of sweat from dancing. Dina's laugh sounds off from somewhere behind him.

Ellie chokes on her drink "She's not my girl." She says through a nervous chuckle. 

"You mean to tell me you follow her around like a lost puppy and you'll sleep in her bed but you won't tell her how you feel?" 

She shifts nervously from one foot to the other. "We're just friends. I sleep over at Dina's all the time."

"You don't look at Dina the way you look at her." He sighs looking out at the crowd of dancing people. "All I'm saying is it's only gonna get worse the longer you ignore it. Are you prepared to be her friend while she dates someone else?"

Ellie's eyes follow to where he's currently staring. Bile rises in her throat as she watches you dance with someone else. Twirling around with another woman, her hands where Ellie's had been just minutes before. Her hand grows clammy around the glass. The blonde kisses you. Her lips far too close to your mouth for it to be friendly. Before she knows it, she's pushing past her friend and rushing out the door. 

The chilly January wind bites at her face as soon as she steps outside. Blood rushes in her ears as she quickly walks back towards her house. She's mad. Mad at Jesse for being right. You for leaving her standing there alone. But mostly she's mad at herself. What had she been thinking? That she would just get to know you more and not fall even further? Her cold palms press into her eyes, trying to alleviate the stinging sensation. This crush was going to ruin her. 

She stops just feet from her door, digging into her pocket for her key. Footsteps that are not her own pound on the snowy pavement behind her. "Ellie!" 

Her eyes squeeze shut, regretting not walking faster. She wants nothing more than to freak out while buried underneath her covers. For the first time ever she doesn't want to see you. 

Your hand grips her bicep, spinning her around to face you. "Els what's wrong?" 

"Nothing 'm jus tired." She mumbles shrugging you off and taking a step back. Your lips pull down into a frown at her actions. 

"Why didn't you tell me? We could have come back together."

She scoffs. "You seemed a little busy. Didn't wanna bother you." 

"Ellie-"

"Caroline's great." She interrupts. "Word around town is she has quite the crush on you. If you wanna go back don't let me stop you."

"Oh my god shut up." In the blink of an eye she find herself up against the wall, your body caging her in. Your hands fly to the back of her head, fingers tangling in the short strands of her newly cut hair. You tug gently, forcing her to look up at you.

"She kissed you." Ellie whispers looking like a kicked puppy. 

"And if you had stayed long enough you would have seen me brush her off." You cup her face, slowly dragging your thumbs across her cheeks in a soothing manner. The tenderness in your eyes will forever be ingrained in her mind. "There's only one person I want to spend my night with and she's right here."

"Really?" You nod, brushing the tips of your noses together.

"I don't want to be just your friend Ellie," You whisper against her lips, your breaths mingling together. Her ears ring at your confession, and she hopes you can't hear the way her heart is pounding. "and I know you don't either. I've been waiting for you to make the first move, but I'm real tired of being patient baby." 

Your lips press against hers in a soft kiss. It's hesitant at first, giving her the option to pull away. You see her eyes flutter shut, shaky hands wrapping around your neck. She whines quietly, wanting more. Her fingers slip down and hook onto your belt loops, pulling you in and deepening the kiss. Your tongue is soft and warm in her mouth, sliding against hers as you press her further into the wall. She shivers when your cold hands caress the warm skin of her lower back. 

Ellie's head goes fuzzy at the feeling of your thigh slotting in between her legs. Her hips seem to have a mind of their own as she slowly rocks back and forth on it, the seam of her jeans giving just enough friction to provide some relief. 

Her soft mewls and the wet sounds of your mouths fill the air. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realizes you two are still outside, where anyone walking by can see. You need to go inside. She just can't find it in her to care at the moment. 

Hands slide from their place on your hips to cup your ass, squeezing harshly, drawing a groan from you. "Hmm. Do you wanna know how many times I've caught you staring at it?" You ask as your mouth pulls back to kiss down the column of her throat. Teeth nipping the soft skin there. Ellie laughs breathlessly in response, somewhat lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. The dazed look in her eyes sends a jolt of heat through you. 

"Ellie?"

The two of you rip apart at the sound of Joel's voice. He stands just outside of his back door, the concerned look on his face vanishes when he spots you and Ellie off to the side of the garage. 

"You two alright out there?" 

You want to laugh at the clear discomfort and amusement in his voice. "Fine Joel, just walking her home."

"Uh huh." He doesn't sound convinced. "Well, best get inside before the snow picks up."

"Right. Good night!" 

Ellie rushes to unlock the door, pulling you in and slamming the door shut. 

"How did you know?" She asks, playing nervously with her fingers. Her freckled face deliciously flushed. A love bite peeking through the collar of her hoodie. 

"You weren't good at hiding it. I had my suspicions." you giggle, intertwining your fingers with hers. "Dina also might have put in a good word. Said I would love you if I just got to know you better."

"And?"

"She was right."