#most of them enjoy their daily privileges and then come shit on us like that?

[god-i-hope-so]

I wonder how many of Tommy haters ever experienced racism. My guess is a very small part of them because let me tell you one thing: you don't spend after work time with your racist coworker on your own. EVER. You don't share stories and jokes with them. EVER. You know the mental cost of spending time with a racist when you're a poc? No you don't. And you think Hen and Chim would choose to spend their free time with a racist instead of anyone else? Instead of going home? No one forced them, and there's no one else. They decided to have drinks together because Tommy changed and they want to support change.

You can call out his past behavior, absolutely, and I did it myself because it needs to be done. You know what needs to be done too? Acknowledge positive change. It's crucial to see and support change. Change is what makes the world better, little by little. But you wouldn't know if you're not a poc, right? How does it feel to be a white knight trying to get some "good ally" points from the poc you use for you hate campaign? All that for a fucking ship? Is it worth it? Do you have your ship canon now?

But please, educate me on racism and how Hen and Chim acted in S2, apparently forced (by who?) to spend their free time with Tommy.

[captain-kinda-trash]

Hi! I wanted to request some headcannons for rottmnt boys with a reader who gives great hugs and gets a plush hoodie this winter, so hugging them feels like hugging a teddy bear now

Of course!! Thank you so much for the request!!

Teddy Bear (ROTTMNT Headcanons)

This was what I had in mind while writing 🤔🤔⬇

Leo

Let's just be clear about one thing

Leo LOVES your hugs

CANNOT get enough of them

Long night of fighting for justice? Huggies

Gets into an argument with Donnie? More huggies

Hell, even walking past you in the lair, he'll do little grabby hands and act like a whiny baby until he gets his daily hugs 🙄 😩

But then you get a super soft, super fluffy, super warm sweatshirt?

Dead

He's dead

You're basically like a human heater for this cold-blooded blue boy

Since you've gotten it, you can hardly stop wearing it, because it's the most comfortable thing ever-

And Leo has gotten even more excuses to hug you

"Leo, im cooking!"

"bUT YOUR SOO COMFFYYY 🥴"

Will, without a doubt ask you to carry his lazy ass, just because he wants to snuggle into your sweatshirt

And don't even get me STARTED on movie nights with him

Because what begins as a cold-blooded turtle hanging onto your arm like a baby koala

Ends up being Leo curled up in your lap or somehow wrapped around you with this hot sweater

So while he's practically purring with comfort, you are sweating like a dog

Not to mention, this bitch is just heavy

like 200+ pounds of straight muscle, so I hope you don't have to use the restroom any time soon because it's going to take a while to pry this big baby off of you

I'd also like to mention, that you don't need to tell him not to steal your hoodie

because he’s gonna do it anyways 😎💙

You discovered this one day, when you slipped the article off to bake with Mikey

After a nice batch of cookies was made, your jacket was gone and you began parading around the lair to find it 

Only to see Leo, snuggled in his bed and playing on his phone, with your hoodie practically swallowing him whole

If he hadn’t looked so comfortable, you would have been angrier, and just settled for scolding him playfully for stealing it

it was hell trying to pry it off of him,  though...

This turtle knows how to wrestle and he will not hesitate to kick your ass over this fluffy sweatshirt 😤

These two things (hugs and your hoodie) combined just make Leo melt into a puddle, and he couldn’t be happier to have all of your teddy bear hugs :>

Mikey

um, have you met this turtle?

KING of hugs

It’s so great how both of you share the same energy

Though he’s more cold-blooded, like Donnie, he needs all of the hugs

It’s just your thing

With Raph, you have fist bumps, Leo, you’ve got a cool handshake, Donnie is more for high-fives 

And for Mikey, it’s hugs 

He practically tackles you to the ground in tight hugs whenever you get home from school/work and come to the lair, like a happy little puppy

Speaking of puppies…

That’s what he says your hoodie feels like whenever it first arrives in the mail.

Immediately, you throw it on, and Mikey is all over it, petting the soft fabric and squealing in excitement 

Can he please wear it?? 🥺

Little Mikey didn’t even have to ask before you shed the hoodie and let him try it on

And OH

MY

FLUFFY...

The amount of cuteness that this turtle radiates when he’s smiling like an idiot and flapping the oversized arms around is just-

He vows to get his own since it’s so warm and comfortable

But he’s very respectful and gives it back to you

Only to attack you in another hug and lift you off of the ground because you look so adorable

“You’re like a little teddy bear!” *excited squeal!*

Mikey 100% respects your space so if you’re ever snuggling, he’s instantly aware of your getting sweaty or uncomfortable and will let up or loosen his arms

Winter days?

Snuggles all day and night

when Mikey (politely) asks to wear your jacket, he’ll throw it on and give you piggyback rides around the lair, because we love fun

And for Christmas, you get him his own, and he’s IN LOVE 

Sweater buddies 

He gets one in his favorite color and little ears on the hood and once a week, when they need to be thrown in the washer, you’ll keep him warm while he waits.

(Leo gets jealous of all the attention you’re giving Mikey >:o)

Donnie

we all know that Don isn’t the biggest on physical affection

If he wants a hug, usually he’d be the one to initiate, which is totally cool, since usually he’s forced into a hug by his brothers (secretly loves it tho)

He does enjoy your hugs, though he can be a bit awkward and stiff with them at first

If he’s feeling down, needs to be warmed up a bit, he’ll immediately seek your comfort

Even out of his brothers, you’re secretly his favorite 

Sure he loves Dr. Delicate Touch, but sometimes Donnie would rather go to someone who isn’t very pushy with solutions, and is willing to listen

And we can also all agree that he has an immaculate fashion taste ✨💜

When he sees the fluffy sweater draped over your arm, he’s immediately running over, analyzing the fabrics, and rushing to get you to try it on

Why? Fashion show 

Loves the warmth of your hoodie

And I because “it’s so soofff”

Donnie’s blood runs the coldest out of all of his brothers and he has the most sensitive shell, so he just adores your sweater

Is definitely contemplating on getting one for himself, though he wouldn’t tell you at first, because you might think he’s trying to copy your awesome style, and that would just destroy his massive ego 😩💅

He enjoys it when you sit in his lab with him, maybe rested against his side with your hoodie on, as you play on your phone/read/draw

Also up for snuggles when it’s extra chilly in the Lair, or when his brothers aren’t around, because once again, damaged ego

Movie marathons?

Hell yeah

Donnie will always make sure your comfortable before he gets comfortable on the couch, so you won’t shift around while watching the movie

He’s also very vulnerable when he takes his battle shell off, and in more ways than one

You know he’s got real, strong trust when he does so and will let you carefully hug him from behind with your hoodie on, since it’s so soft

Donnie will also snatch your massive jacket if he gets the chance, and disappear into his lab for days with it on

And he’ll never tell a soul this…

But he loves it the most, because it smells like you, 💜

so it’s like having you right beside him while you’re gone, or when he’s busy building something 

Also, tries to use his classic and sarcastic charm when it comes to asking for your hoodie back

“Come on Don, it’s cold outside! I need it!”

“But would you take it from such a luxurious face as this?” 😏

“😒”

“Right, giving it back-“

He totally gets his own hoodie, by the way

Purple (obviously)

But it just isn’t the same as your own, so Donnie might just have yours on and then wrap his own around his waist

Yep

He sure does love his teddy bear 💜

Raph

Okay but Raph is an actual teddy bear-

A big, mom-friend, weapon-wielding teddy bear

He LOVES giving hugs, and most would recognize this, seeing the various pictures and instances where he pulls all three of his brothers in for a great big group hug ❤

He's constantly reminding himself that you are much much more prone to injuries than his brothers, so he holds you like a little baby when he hugs you

(Unless he gets super excited or has a really rough night, so just be aware that you might be restricted of breathing privileges in that case-)

Usually so gentle 🥺

Just picks you up and wraps those huge freaking arms around you like giant pillows

And he LOSES HIS SHIT when you come back with this fluffy ass hoodie

Has this infatuation with petting the fur and running his fingers over it

He has never felt something so soft in his entire life 😩❤

And then when he hugs you with it on-

aUGGGH ❤❤

"Why are you a like big teddy bear?!"

"Buddy, you're just getting a taste of my own world-"

Poor Raph, being the size he is and having such a spiky shell, can't just wear your hoodie like his brothers :(

I mean, sure he could take it so easily

But he doesn't want to disrespect your things, or make you upset, because this man is The Gentleman™

So, rather than asking to wear it, he'll ask to spend more time with you

Not just for the hoodie ofc, but because of your sweet gentleness and warmth

Better quit your job babe, because your new occupation?

Raph's cuddle buddy

He refuses to let you become uncomfortable, makes sure there are the right amount of pillows, blankets, and room for you to move around while you snuggle together etc.

Raph is also a heavy sleeper, so once he gets comfy and warm enough, he'll probably doze off and trap you in his big "arm cage"

Really, his nature is pure and gentle and everything you could ever imagine when it comes to hugging his little teddy bear ❤🐢

@getacactus @turtle-babe83

Hope you enjoyed this little ditty! I LOVED writing these!! 💜💜

[worldstogetlostin]

hello and how are you?

We are here from the Sixty More OC Asks! Wanted to drop by and ask you some things for both stories! c:

For Anna form Devour: 01 | 17 | 25 | 60

For Anyone You Want from Chaos Crew: 38 | 43 | 51 | 60

The Not Yet Dead Author, @365runesofwriting

Hi! I'm doing good, I hope you're well! Thank you for the ask, it's very pretty haha, nice to see some colour. This got quite long so I've put most of it under a read more.

Ask game is here for convenience

For Anna: 1 - What’s the one thing they would save in a fire? Anna doesn't have many physical things, and most of what she does have is shared between her and other guards in the Old Guard group, so I don't think she'd have much to save if the place burned. She'd probably be more focused on making sure members of her group that she's particularly close with got out, like Irina or Gracie, for whom I really need to do character intros lmao they are such important characters.

17 - What’s the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever spent money on? So money isn't really a thing with the Old Guard? They do their job and get assigned privileges that allow them access to certain things. So in that regard, the most ridiculous thing she's used her privileges for is to ensure that Matteo (another member of her group, who Anna is a little more combative with) didn't get to read a book he really wanted to read for an extra few weeks. She basically borrowed it any time she could and made a big show of having it out and threatening to spoil the ending because she can be very childish lmao.

25 - What’s one thing they’re utterly incapable of doing without the help of someone else? I'd say that Anna, despite being the unofficial leader of the group when everything goes to shit, can't take risks without someone else agreeing that it's the right thing to do. She excels at leading a group and making sure everyone is heard and agrees with the decision, but when it comes to making a decision alone, especially one that puts others in danger, she can be very indecisive unless someone is there to reassure her that she's doing the right thing, which can be a liability.

60 - What are some of their simple pleasures? Anna likes reading and eating good food. As it's the end of the world and all, simple pleasures are just that. Simple. If she finds some chocolate on a run and some new reading material, she will get a lot of pleasure from enjoying those things.

Okay for my chaos crew OCs I'm gonna talk about Morgana because I feel like I don't talk about her enough.

38 - If they hear something go bump in the night, do they get out of bed to check it out or do they stay put? Morgana stays put, mostly because her powers make it very difficult to know what's real and what's not. She has powers of illusion so strong sometimes she doesn't even feel real to herself. So it's a combination of that and the knowledge that anything that might try to come for her has definitely bitten off more than it can chew.

43 - What do people notice first about them, as far as their appearance goes? Morgana is the kind of beautiful that catches people off guard because it isn't right. Her appearance is almost ethereal, otherworldly. So you could never call her ugly, but something about the way she looks is not quite human, either. It can be intimidating to others, so despite her great beauty people aren't tripping over themselves to beg for her hand or anything. Although that could also be because her personality leaves something to be desired at the beginning of the book...

51 - What is their favourite thing about themselves? Morgana is strong, and she knows it despite how other people doubt her. She has strong powers and struggles with the realities and consequences of her power daily. it's not something any average person could do, and she is secure in the knowledge that she is gifted and special. Her strength is her favourite thing about herself.

60 - What are some of their simple pleasures? Morgana doesn't have many simple pleasures. She was raised wealthy and is used to the finer things in life. Having someone brush her hair is probably the most simple of her pleasures. Obviously, she doesn't let just anyone touch her hair, but if it's someone she trusts and feels safe with, it will be her favourite thing.

[violetsoju]

snapshot

miya atsumu · fluff · 1.9k

muse: highlight - not the end

a/n: my ultimate boys are finally back after three and a half years, and my inner fangirl that has been asleep for way too long has been unleashed for the past few days. hence, this impulsive piece. do let me know if you enjoyed it ❤️

It’s time.

After a year or so, there’s finally light at the end of the tunnel. Cherry blossoms are in full bloom again, gracing the pathways with shades of light pink and white.

It’s the beginning of a new year, of new beginnings, of new hopes and dreams. A time of renewal and rebirth. When cherry blossoms are in full bloom, the future is bursting with possibilities.

What better way to start off the new year with something that makes your heart blossom with love and joy?

You’ve been deep in slumber for the past year, so it’s about time to be awaken and open the curtains for the sunlight shine in.

Your planner is inked with colourful notes and doodles, laptop reformatted with an empty recycle bin, camera equipment cleaned and dusted, phone storage deep-cleaned.

It’s hard to not notice the bright smile tugging your lips even without the mandatory cup of morning coffee, greeting everyone in the office like a ray of sunshine. Even your supervisor notices it and is surprised with the increased efficiency of work from your end. Perhaps he’s more surprised with your razor sharp accuracy in clocking out every day, disappearing in a flash once the clock strikes 6.

Your colleagues can’t seem put a finger to the recent change in your behaviour. What’s an afterwork get-together without you and ridiculous tipsy antics? Not even your favourite yakult soju or the summoning of your supervisor could drag your feet to the dinner place.

“Do you have a boyfriend? That’s why you’re so busy recently?” They would ask. Or they would try and wiggle their way by asking “Is there someone waiting at home for you?”

No matter how tactfully they twist and turn their words, they were all futile attempts. Because all they would get was a sickly sweet innocent smile that never met your crescent-shaped eyes, and an automatic response. “Thank you for the invite, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pass tonight. Have fun!”

They had their bets that you were wrapped up with your secret little love life, spending nights over at your lover’s place, whispering sweet nothings into the night. “Ah, young love.” They would sigh. “Remember to stay protected!”

Your tight lipped smile fuelled them further instead. Why don’t you say anything, they wonder.

To you, why waste your energy explaining something that is incomprehensible to them and risk having yourself being the centre of gossip? Not that you are already the recent centre of gossip.

Because they won’t understand the surge of excitement flowing through your veins at the ping of notifications popping up on your phone screen during work. They won’t understand the of anticipation for the timer on a video screen to turn zero, whether on the way home or while having dinner. They won’t understand the happiness of late night chats with likeminded people online, sleep washed away while gushing and typing in full caps with each other. They won’t understand the buzz of giddiness with just one post, one picture or one sentence. They won’t understand the little squeal behind a picture or a minute-long video unexpectedly appearing on screen. They won’t understand having the same song or same album on loop for days, weeks, or months. They don’t understand the dilemma of choosing a wallpaper or lockscreen for your phone. They don't understand how by remembering a person or something they have said before drives unimaginable motivation and makes the toughest circumstances bearable and possible to overcome. They won't understand how a person who doesn't know your existence personally can be a source of comfort and happiness.

They won’t understand the real reason why you’re smiling like a fool at your phone.

Maybe if they peered carefully at your phone screen, they would know why.

And it’s not what they had in bet.

Well, they were partly right if you were to be completely honest.

But if you were to place your bets, you’re sure most of them would still be scratching their heads in confusion at the black, gold and white logo.

It may be foreign to them, but you swear that you can see those colours even if you’re blind.

MSBY. The 8 member boy group. Worldwide superstars. The whole damn package. Boys made for the dazzling stage. Boys that deserve the whole world. Boys whose talent knows no limits. Boys that you hold dear to your heart.

Ever since Hinata Shouyou, the youngest of the group had injured his lower back and knee during choreography practice (in which was revealed with a slip of a tongue in a livestream that Bokuto and him were so engrossed with a certain acrobatic move which involved a backflip from a higher ground, they begged their choreographer to add it into their new choreography. Instead of showing a clip of the move, they decided to give it a shot and perform it live spontaneously for everyone, where too much adrenaline and a small slip had him lying in the hospital bed for weeks), the group had collectively come to a conclusion to halt their activities until he was fully recovered and ready to roll. There were no solo activities, solo promotions or unit activities despite the attractive proposals or invitations. Such a waste of talent and time, many said. What is their company thinking? Letting their cash cow go to waste like that. But they tuned out all the crap, and firmly held to their resolve of being together as a group; all for one, and one for all.

“We’ll be back. And we know you all have our backs.” Meian Shuugo, the leader of the pack assured, eyes filled with resolute and confidence.

So after a draught of 456 days to be exact, an oasis finally appeared in the burning desert sands. When the notification titled ‘MSBY is back’ appeared on phone and laptop screens alike, it took a few seconds for everyone to blink and make sure it wasn’t a mirage. But the small tick was unmistakable. Then the whole fandom lost their shit.

This isn’t a drill. MSBY is back. In full swing.

The black jackals are ready to hunt. Their hunger has been supressed long enough. They’ve been starved for too long. They’re out for blood. They’re ready to pounce at any moment. They’re back in the game.

(If you were to be real honest, everyone should have saw this coming after that particular livestream where Bokuto, the renowned king of spoilers, animatedly announced that “We’ll be seeing you guys soon. Like real soon!” with his wide toothy smile, to which Inunaki Shion ferociously slapped him in the back with a cramped broad smile plastered on his face. “In the next livestream, of course! Can’t wait to see you guys soon!” The mom of the group added through gritted teeth. Adriah Tomas choked on his water and sheepishly grinned, while Sakusa Kiyoomi stared ahead unfazed, like this was a daily occurrence.)

Which means it’s time for you to get back to work. Which is also no surprise why you’ve been so occupied these days, having two schedules to work with: your personal schedule and MSBY’s comeback schedule. Which also means, your weekends are MSBY’s weekends.

Fangirling is a job to be taken very, seriously.

Change of word choice for the better. Supporting your idols is a job to be taken very, seriously.

So on a pleasantly warm Saturday afternoon with cherry blossoms petals dancing in the wind, as you try your best to stable yourself on the ground with the huge ass DSLR in your hands, you scan for a specific person among the sea of people ahead. A specific blond, to be exact. But lucky you, because even if you don’t scan for him, he finds his way to your camera lens. Which is why your pictures are one of the most sought after and anticipated of the idol Miya Atsumu, lead dancer of MSBY.

It’s like he has antennas on the top of his head. Despite the flurry of cameras flashing at him, confessions and screams drowning out his surroundings, rapid camera shutters going off like woodpeckers drumming relentlessly on a tree, he somehow, always manages to locate you, to look right into your camera lens, giving you his million dollar smile or infamous grin with small fangs peeking from the sides. The cherry on top? His top-notch fanservice. He never, never fails to give a reaction to you. Be it a small wave, a heart shape with his arms bent over his head, or a flirtatious wink that would combust hearts right on the spot.

You’re beyond grateful for his attentiveness and recognition towards you. It’s not like you’re on his heels. Hitting the shutter button is just a pastime of yours when your schedule allows. In better words, you’re just a random potato popping up occasionally with a camera. Plus, it’s no easy feat to pick a specific person out among a sea of people, especially with tens or hundreds of faces flashing before his eyes in one go.

Truth to be told, you’re thankful for the special attention too, because you get to share the fun and playful side of him with everyone, to light up everyone’s day with pictures of their favourite golden boy. Sharing is caring, and in this big close-knitted family, everyone deserves to be well fed.

However, the good things in life are never free.

Jealousy is a bitch, and bitches need to get well soon. Rumours are born out of wicked tongues, and wicked tongues are born out of the evil fire of envy.

Baseless ridiculous tales circulate among the community. How you’re the daughter of some big-shot of the company or political figure, using, or abusing your privilege connections to gain his favour. How you’re an obsessive fan who has intruded your way into his life, holding his career by the reins out of corrupted love by stalking and threatening him to pose for the camera, your camera specifically if he wants to keep himself and his group safe. How it’s a business relationship between the both of you: you as his private photographer, him paying you to get perfect shots of him to boost his popularity, to outshine his members, to feed his monstrous ego.

But do you care? Of course you don’t.

Because between this jam-packed schedule, this is the only time you get to see your boyfriend in real life, and you want to keep a record of his amazing journey through your lenses. It’s a diary of his growth, the beautiful moments in his life. A diary for him, you and his fans. To also show him that you’re here with him, here for him, no matter what.

And does Miya Atsumu care? Of course he doesn’t.

Because what more can he ask by having the opportunity to see you in flesh, even if it’s just a few seconds amidst his hectic back-to-back schedules. You’re his serotonin, the one that he misses holding in his arms after a long tiring day, the one that keeps him going, the one that he can count on for being there.

Knowing that you’re there at every step of the way makes him take each step with more confidence and pride.

So as Miya Atsumu exits the broadcasting building, he searches for a familiar camera lens among the sea of similar looking cameras shoved in his face. He sweeps his gaze from left to right, and grins when he spots the one he’s looking for.

A face sculpted by the gods with a boyish grin that could lit up the world graces the cameras of many, but only one captures his eyes gleaming with delight head on.

There was a really cute fanart of idol! Atsumu but the artist has closed her twitter account so I can't link it here T_T but if you do have any idol! Atsumu fanarts do send them in hehe

[the-voltage-diaries]

Pulcherrima Rosa Me - Taki Kozaki

‘Pulcherrima rosa me’: Latin for ‘My beautiful rose’.

Disclaimer: Office AU, Hanahaki AU. Now, since it’s Hanahaki, of course it will be angsty. So, time to fasten those seat belts and sit tight.

Word Count: 2225

Author’s note: My first open-ended fic, lmao. Originally was supposed to have smut, but things changed here and there, so you see.

P.S.: Special thanks to @akaiiro-yume​​​ for being my proofreader and amazing fangirl buddy

14 years.

That’s how long they had known each other.

To be precise, that’s the number of years they had been the closest of friends.

Never more, never less. 

Just two individuals who over time had, step by step, closed in on the gap separating them, narrowing it so much that barely any space remained. They became so used to being around each other that the thought of sharing the tales of their daily life, no matter how embarrassing, bitching and moaning about work and clients, laughing together without bothering to care about how weird they looked seemed like the definition of normal. But that’s the thing ; no matter how closely their paths collided, an invisible line always kept their journeys divided. Most people called that line “friendship”. Taki and (Y/N) had never been anything more than friends.

They never knew how to be anything BUT friends.

So then why was she the only person on Taki’s mind while his eyes shut to bear the pain of throwing up while he hunched over the sink, coughing up a handful of what looked redder than blood, albeit was anything but?

“I want this done by the morning,” Taki told the finance head, handing him the proposal for the project they were planning to bid for. “And when I say morning, I mean I’d like to see it on my table by the time I walk in. Is that alright?”

“Yes, sir,” the man responded, picking up the papers and giving him a quick bow before making his way out, muttering a quiet ‘good night,’ to which the CEO gave him a nod of his own.

Taki then turned in his chair and peeked through the thick glass wall of his cabin in search of his secretary. Once his eyes landed on the familiar raven up-do, his lips, though very quietly and only for a moment, lined up in a hint of a small smile.

There she sat on her table, her eyes focused on her laptop screen while her fingers typed away at the keyboard, not noticing the gaze a pair of dark brown eyes fixated on her.

Instead of calling her immediately to discuss the day’s schedule with her, Taki took a moment to admire the woman who had been at his side for the last two years, professionally speaking. For, beyond the walls of the office, he had known her for more than half of his life.

His eyes made their way across her form; slowly drinking in the way she every so often took a moment to stretch her back, roll her shoulders and her neck before getting back to the task at hand, how one of her delicate fingers came up to push a strand of hair behind the perfect curve of her ear, how she bit her lip in concentration every time she worked against time. God, was she beautifu-

The clang of a pen rolling across the table and falling to the floor startled him back to reality, and he shook his head, rolling his eyes at his carelessness before bending down to pick up the pen.

“(Y/N)!” He called, turning back to his laptop and opening up his schedule. He heard the familiar click-clack of her heels and soon enough, the door opened with a low creak. Taki didn’t even need to look up from the screen to know she was here. “Do we have anything else on the agenda for the day?”

“Yes, actually.”

‘We do?’ Taki thought to himself, his eyes giving his schedule a once-over. He didn’t see anything else on it that needed to be done today, so what was (Y/N) talking abo-

“You have a meeting with the board at 9 AM, then a site visit scheduled at 10 AM, a business call with the head of the Ichinomiya Group at 12 PM regarding the construction of their new hotel in Auckland, another site visit for at a different location at 1 PM, and th-”

“Wait a second, why don’t I see all of this anywhere on my schedule?”

“Because you’re viewing the schedule for 3rd November.”

“Yes, and as far as I remember, today IS 3rd November.”

“No, sir,” (Y/N) said, and it was then that Taki looked up to see the smirk on her face, “I’m pretty sure it’s the 4th today.”

He took a quick glance at his watch and saw that the smaller of the two hands had passed the 12 o’ clock mark, and it was, in fact, 12:30 AM. Which meant that it was, in fact, 4th November.

It also meant that they had worked beyond the designated office hours for the fourth straight day in a row.

“I’m sorry for making you work over time again,” Taki muttered, pursing his lips.

“Nah, that’s okay,” (Y/N) shrugged, sending him a playful wink, “Apart from that cute little pout, you’re paying me for it. Rather handsomely, too, so I’m chill.”

“Firstly, I’m NOT pouting,” Taki muttered, rolling his eyes when he heard his secretary whisper the word ‘denial’, “And secondly, Ms. (L/N), is that how you’ll be talking to your boss now?” He smirked. He would be straight up lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this amused change in the atmosphere. In fact, he welcomed it after the long day he’d had.

“Mr. Boss,” she immediately responded, stretching out the word ‘boss’, to which Taki couldn’t help but scoff, “The office hours are over. I’m under no obligation to kiss your ass anymore.”

And oh, he tried.

He tried so hard to stop that laugh from escaping when (Y/N) made a kissy face at him, but alas, he lost and let it erupt with a low rumble from deep within his chest when she lifted two tiny finger hearts to go along with the flying kisses.

And you know what they say, laughter is contagious. Soon enough, (Y/N) too joined Taki in his wonderland of chuckles, and it wasn’t long before they both laughed so much that their stomachs hurt because each time they’d try to stop, all it’d take is one glance at each other’s faces to lose their shit again.

“Pfft,” (Y/N) scoffed, trying to come down from the rush of euphoria she’d just had, “You should be thanking your lucky stars for having the privilege to get as fun a secretary as me. You have NO idea how lucky you are, I tell you.”

‘I agree,’ Taki thought as he took a moment to calm down, letting a rush of air fill his lungs as he took a deep breath in. He relaxed into his chair and glanced back at the magnificent woman standing before him, truly thankful to have her close by. But as soon as he adoringly grabbed on to the memory of the laugh they’d just shared, another sensation latched on to him, stopping him from thinking any deeper by dragging his attention to the ache building up deep within his chest.

Taki paused, shifting uncomfortably at the unfamiliar sensation. All remnants of humor left him at the way something seemingly gripped at the base of his lungs, squeezing hard. He felt like he couldn’t breathe for a moment, and his discomfort only grew with each passing second as a painful cough arose in his throat, blocking off any passage for air.

“Argh,” he groaned, his fingers pressing at the space between his collarbones, trying to massage the area into creating some sort of a path through the dark fog building up in his throat, so unforgiving that he almost saw black for a moment.

“Taki?” (Y/N) called his name, all her remaining laughter immediately dying down the moment her gaze washed over him. “A-are you okay?”

And just like that, as quickly had the discomfort come, it died down. 

It vanished into a thin breeze, leaving Taki gasping for some much needed mouthfuls of air.

“Y-yeah,” Taki responded, still in a daze. He had no idea what just happened, and it seemed so surreal that he almost brushed it off as a hallucination, but the concern in (Y/N)’s eyes told him whatever transpired wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. He took a moment to compose himself, before following up with a much more self-assured “Yes, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“But I feel fine.”

“... Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you like, sure sure?”

“No, actually.” He looked up at her, an amused grin floating on his face. “I’m not sure sure that I’m fine.”

“See? I KNEW you weren’t okay. Should I call for a doc-”

“You’ve got it all wrong,” he interrupted, stopping her halfway on her mini-panic spree, “I’m sure-sure sure I’m fine.”

“… You’re a jerk, you know that?” (Y/N) huffed, sending a scowl in Taki’s direction. “One of these days I’m gonna stab you with- with…” her eyes quickly scanned the room, looking for an appropriate object to finish her statement with while Taki tried to control his smirk from spreading any wider, “… with a sticky note.”

“A what?”

… well, it was too late to go back on words. So, grumbling under her breath, (Y/N) repeated, “With a… sticky note.”

“Pfft.”

“Mr. Kozaki.” (Y/N) narrowed her eyes at the man, giving him her least scary glare, “did you just ‘pfft’ me?”

“Yes,” he replied confidently, placing his forearms on the table top, “Yes I did.”

“Watch your back. I really will throw the sticky note at this rate.” (Y/N) turned around, her fingers grasping the doorknob, “… and soon.”

Taki watched her step out of his cabin, an amused twinkle in her eye. “Gee, I’m so scared,” he muttered, mostly to himself, before shaking his head at their childishness and turning back to the work at hand.

But even as his eyes swam across the screen, processing the words and formulating appropriate responses, the back of his mind couldn’t let go of the strange inquisitiveness that poked at it, seeking answers to just one question.

What was that fleeting, deadly little coughing fit all about?

He got so focused on his work that he didn’t notice the diligent finance head step into his cabin again only 30 minutes later, quietly keeping the finished proposal on the glass table before walking out just as quietly, so as not to disturb his concentration. He didn’t notice the same guy stopping by (Y/N)’s table, offering her a steaming mug of coffee and giving her the gentlest of smiles while offering to help if needed. He didn’t notice any of it until he heard the pleasant sound of her laugh, passing through the gaps in the glass walls before bouncing off of them on the inside, creating the most melodious of echos.

His eyes left the screen for a quick second to focus on the scene outside, and what he saw made a strange anxiety rise up within him like tiniest of dew vaporizing and stretching its fingers to reaching out to the sky - slowly rising up from the depths of his stomach, travelling up to his chest and finally solidifying just beneath his lips.

Right in front of him stood (Y/N), her fingers clutching an arm that didn’t belong to Taki, her lips turning up into the brightest of curves, shining so bright one would almost go blind, as she laughed along with the damned finance head about something or the other.

And that’s when Taki felt like the (Y/N) who had been standing just within an arm’s reach this whole time was about to slip away from his very fingers, and the feeling that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it pricked at him, rendering him in a state of confused speechlessness.

‘Wait. Shouldn’t I feel happy for her, considering she’s finally seeing a guy?’ he thought, taking a deep breath. ‘Yeah. It’s a good thing. But then… what is this insecurity I’m feeling right now?’

The answer to that question seemed only a heartbeat away, and the moment he reached out to grasp it, his body jerked backwards, falling onto his chair while his breathing quickened. The somewhat familiar feeling of his throat being clawed at came back to him - much stronger this time. It all happened quick; his brow furrowed into a deeper crease as moisture pricked at the back of his eyes, his world going back for a moment. Taki’s mouth leaped to suck in a croaked breath - which sounded more like a painful gasp at this point - while his fingers gripped at the collar of his shirt, looking for any way to free him of the sudden pain growling in his chest. He felt a powerful cough coming, preceded by short, painful ones.

“Ah,” he let out a breathy moan, the tears finally making their way to the front of his eyes, followed by a few more. With him standing on the thin line separating sanity from delirium, his body lurched forward, finally finding solace in the way his throat forced out tiny balls of red while the moisture building behind his eyelids finally broke apart to slide down his cheek in one, straight line. The second his gullet felt free again, his body shook with need as he gulped in mouthfuls of air.

Once the dark haze clouding his mind finally started to part, he turned his eyes to look at the red chunk his trachea had shoved out. His eyes widened when his fingertips came in contact with the soft, silky skin of the petals - redder than the darkest of rubies.

The petals of the one flower which finally made him piece together his feelings for the woman standing beyond the see-through walls of his cabin.

… Remember how he wanted to know what his coughing fit was all about?

A rose.

Well… guess it’s about time he found out.

[alcalavicci]

1988 interview with Dean. This is a really good one and helps bring more of his life into perspective. Note: the newspaper originally censored his swearing, but I’ve put it back.

Guthman, Edward. "Dean Stockwell: Third Time's a Charm." The San Francisco Examiner (San Francisco, California), August 14, 1988.

“Six years ago, Dean Stockwell's acting career had turned to dust. Reduced to playing parts in unreleasable, made-in-Mexico movies that now make him cringe, Stockwell decided to chuck it all and get out of Hollywood.

“Along with his second wife, Joy, Stockwell moved to Santa Fe, settled down under the wide New Mexico sky and applied for a real estate license. He even placed an ad in Daily Variety to announce his exile: 'Dean Stockwell will help you with all your real estate needs in the new center of creative energy.'

“Stockwell never sold a house; he didn't need to. Instead, almost as soon as he'd relocated, things started happening to the former 1940s child star. It began with a small part in David Lynch's 'Dune,' and escalated with an important supporting role in Wim Wenders' highly regarded 'Paris, Texas.'

“Moving back to California to cash in on his fortune, Stockwell acted in 'Beverly Hills Cop II,' 'Gardens of Stone,' and 'To Live and Die in L.A.' He also played a cameo role, as Howard Hughes, in the newly released 'Tucker: The Man and His Dream.' And in 'Blue Velvet,' David Lynch's American nightmare, he delivered a chilling cameo as Ben, a waxlike, sexually ambiguous drug dealer.

“And now, at 52, Stockwell says he's found 'the favorite role I've had, by far.'

“The picture is 'Married to the Mob,' a dark, romantic comedy by Jonathan Demme ('Melvin and Howard,' 'Stop Making Sense') and Stockwell plays Mafia don Tony 'the Tiger' Russo. Wearing an Al Capone fedora and full-length vicuna coat, Tony is a rich, sardonic, larger-than-life character -- the kind Stockwell has never had a chance to play until now.

“Opening Friday at the Galaxy and UA the Movies, 'Married to the Mob' has been touted as Demme's first shot at a genuine box-office winner. Set in Long Island, New Jersey and Florida, it stars Michelle Pfeiffer as Angela DeMarco, a young Mafia wife who tries to start a new life when her husband, Frankie 'the Cucumber' DeMarco, is pumped full of lead during a hot-tub tryst at the Fantasia Motel.

“When Stockwell's character isn't ordering hits, drug deals and the dumping of toxic waste, he's lusting assiduously after the gorgeous widow. Meanwhile, bumbling FBI agent Mike Downey (played by Matthew Modine) is jumping through hoops trying to shadow Angela and 'catch Tony with his pants down.' Instead, he falls in love with Angela.

“During a recent luncheon interview, not far from his central California home, Stockwell spoke about the film, about his new happiness as the father of two children and about the bizarre trajectory of his long career. Dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and slacks, wearing a Panama hat and drawing first on a cigaret, later on a cigar, Stockwell emanates prosperity and calm.

“'I don't know why I was unemployed so long,' he says, reflecting on a fallow period that started in the '60s and lasted the better part of two decades. 'The only thing I can figure out in my own mind is that, for some reason or another, I was being made to wait until a certain time in my life when my talent would reach its full maturity and fruition.'

“Ironically, he says, he felt just as equipped 10 years ago to do the work he's doing now -- 'only I couldn't get fucking arrested.'

“Today, Stockwell sees harmony in the fact that his new success coincides with the arrival of two children. His son, Austin, will be 5 in November, and his daughter, Sophia, turns 3 this month. Inordinately proud and protective, he refuses to allow his children to be photographed, and also requests that the town in which he and his family reside not be named. (There were no children from his first marriage, to Millie Perkins, which lasted from 1960 to 1962.)

“'I want to make a lot of money and I want to put it away for my children,' he says. To that end, Stockwell has been snapping up job offers. 'A lot of people ask me, "How have you been able to choose these wonderful things you're doing? Have you been very selective?" And I have to tell them, "I haven't been choosing what I'm doing." Things have been coming and I've been accepting virtually anything that's come.'

“Stockwell's ambition is so great that, for the first time in his life, he actively pursues aspects of his career that he once shunned- interviews, for example.

“'My entire motivation in life is my family,' he says. 'I don't need to get an award. I don't need recognition. I've had that already. What I need is to provide. The best way I can provide is to be successful, and the best way I can be successful is to take advantage of all the things at my disposal to achieve that, one of which certainly is press.'

“Take a look at the young Stockwell, specifically the version that emerges from old magazine and newspaper interviews, and you meet another person altogether.

“Robbed of a normal childhood, Stockwell had made 22 films by the time he was 15 -- including 'The Boy with Green Hair,' 'Kim,' 'Anchors Aweigh,' and the Oscar-winning 'Gentleman's Agreement.' Working nonstop, he had a privileged life that millions of children probably envied, but he loathed it nonetheless.

“The son of show-business parents -- his father, Harry Stockwell, was the voice of the Prince in 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,' and his mother, Betty Veronica, was a former stage dancer -- Stockwell made his professional debut at 7. It all happened by a fluke: when Stockwell accompanied his older brother, Guy, on a Broadway audition, the casting director took a liking to both boys, and cast each one. The play, aptly enough, was called 'Innocent Voyage,' and it led to an MGM contract for curly-haired Dean.

“From the beginning, the pressure on young Stockwell was intense. His parents had divorced when he was 6, and when his father defaulted on child-support payments, Dean reluctantly became the family provider. Over a six-year period, he averaged three to four films per year.

“At home, he says, 'There was a lot of friction... I was getting all the attention, but I hated it. [Guy] couldn't appreciate that, because he wasn't getting the attention. He had all these friends, his peer group, that he took for granted. I had none and I resented him for being able to live that way. I was fucking lonely.'

“When he was 13, chained to a seven-year contract, Stockwell was described by one magazine as 'a young rebel who despises acting and resents every moment it takes from his fleeting boyhood.' Many years later, Stockwell told columnist Hedda Hopper, 'Child actors exist in a sort of limbo between childhood and maturity and belong to neither. Adults take them too seriously and other children are either awed or hostile. A child actor can find friends in neither group.'

“Finally, Stockwell fled Hollywood when he was 16. He cut off his curly locks, started using his real name, Robert Stockwell, and for the next five years roamed the country, working menial jobs and disavowing his true identity. 'People that might have known me from seeing my films knew me as a young child,' he remembers. 'Now I was 17 and I wasn't that recognizable.'

“Around the time of his 21st birthday, Stockwell was pushing papers as mail boy to a Manhattan plumbing firm. 'Of all the jobs that I'd had in those intervening years,' he remembers. 'I think I hated that worse than anything. I came to the realization I had no training at anything. My primary education was very skimpy, very poor, and happened under the worst type of conditions. I was literally at the mercy of the world.'

“Most of Stockwell's childhood earnings were squandered by crooked accountants, he says, and he knew that the tiny sum being held in a trust wouldn't last forever. 'So I thought, "What am I gonna do? Well, let's go back and attack this [acting career] again, and see if I can do it a little more on my terms."'

“What followed for Stockwell was a brief but impressive 'second career.' He starred in the 1959 film 'Compulsion,' based on the Leopold-Loeb case of the '20s, and won a joint acting award with Orson Welles and Bradford Dillman at the Cannes Film Festival. He played the lead in the 1960 film of D. H. Lawrence's 'Sons and Lovers,' and in 1962 scored the plum role of Edmund Tyrone in Sidney Lumet's film version of 'Long Day's Journey Into Night,' holding his own alongside Katharine Hepburn, Ralph Richardson and Jason Robards.

“Stockwell was winning the best parts, but found his attention drifting elsewhere. What was happening, he says, were the first signs of the '60s youth revolution. 'It captured my imagination as much as anybody's. And it represented to me -- I can see this in retrospect -- something in childhood that I had missed: the freedom and loving being alive, without responsibilities and work and having to report to the studio every day, and deal with fans and interviews and shit that I hated when I was a kid.'

“So Stockwell called his agent, said, 'I'm not workin',' and dropped out once again. When he tried to come back three years later, though, 'I found it very difficult, 'cause I'd been out-of-sight, out-of-mind.' What followed was a long period of marginal employment: He found some TV work, took parts in low-budget trash ('The Dunwich Horror') and occasional oddities (Dennis Hopper's 'The Last Movie') and co-directed a film with musician Neil Young ('Human Highway') but often just didn't work at all. At one point, he went 18 months without a job.

“Today, along with his buddy Hopper, Stockwell is enjoying a major career renaissance. And with his starring role in 'Married to the Mob,' he says, he's never felt more confident.

“'I knew before I started the film that this character was going to work in spades,' he says, adding that Demme, as director, deserves credit for taking a risk with such offbeat casting. Instead of picking Peter Falk, Vincent Gardenia or another ethnically identified actor to play the Mafia don, he went with Stockwell (who is actually half-Italian on his mother's side).

“Demme's inspiration occurred on a flight from Los Angeles to New York, when he opened a copy of the Hollywood Reporter. Stockwell had just changed agents, and in order to announce the fact, had taken out a full-page ad. Demme saw the picture, and instantly recognized his Tony.

“Weirdly enough, Stockwell made another film immediately prior to 'Married to the Mob': a Canadian feature called 'Palais Royale,' due for an October release, in which he plays a character almost identical to Tony Russo.

“'It's very curious,' he says. 'For all my years I'd never had a role like this come my way, and here it was twice. The Mafia don in New York, the Mafia don in Toronto, both of them colorful and charming and also threatening. And I just thought, "What am I gonna do? It's the same character." So I decided to do the same character in both those movies.'

“To take the coincidence 'one nauseating step further,' Stockwell says he's also got a part in the recently completed 'Backtrack,' Hopper's next film. This time he plays a corrupt mob lawyer, dropping the Italian accent for a generalized East Coast sound.

“It would be difficult to find a film actor who's busier than Stockwell at this moment. And it would be difficult to find anyone whose job history better illustrates the vicissitudes, serendipities and insecurity of a Hollywood career.

“Looking back on his misfortunes -- at the career that he was forced to accept as a child, and the humiliation he felt when he couldn't maintain it as an adult -- Stockwell says he's not bitter. 'When you reach your maturity, I think it behooves you to accept the fact that it's absolutely futile and fruitless even to speculate on changing anything in your life. All you can do is get embittered. So I accept everything that's happened as part of my life, and try to push it in a positive direction from the moment right now.'”

[iplaymatchmaker]

Wahhh your prompt matchups are such a cute idea! May I please request one for Ikevamp, with the prompts 5 (this sounds so interesting! Can I perhaps get Cinderella—balls make me soft) and 8 (i don’t drink, so my suitor would be the drunk one)? Take your time with this please, and take care!

Pronouns, MBTI, and Hogwarts House: I go by she/her, and I’m an ENTP-T Gryffindor (if I had the choice, I’d choose Slytherin tho).

Hobbies & Passion: I love English Literature (and general history), and I’m working to gain a PhD in the field as I’d love to talk with likeminded people about literary works. I also enjoy various sports, especially dancing, and baking, and writing... it’s hard to narrow down since I get distracted by other activities easily (Entp tingz)

Likes/Dislikes: I value honesty in relationships, even if the statements might be negative. Also, I like people that won’t disregard my physical boundaries—it takes me some time to accept physical affection from someone, but once I do open up, I can be vvv snuggly (if the other person is comfortable with it ofc). Beyond that, I believe you can work around lots of traits in a relationship if they aren’t too earth-shattering.

Attitude towards other people: Towards my loved ones, I’m very playful and loud, and I enjoy teasing the shit out of someone. While I’m blunt, I try to be softer around the people I love. I care a lot, so I can easily appear overbearing and annoying, I’m sure.

Towards strangers/acquaintances, however, I’m extremely critical, stubborn (except when someone actually brings a good argument), and argumentative (and it depends on my respect for them how harsh I will be). Mostly quiet, serious, and quick-witted. If my friends are around me tho, strangers will catch a glimpse of how loud and playful I can be.

Thank you so much for this in advance 💜💜💜

I match you with

Sebastian!

 Thank you so much for requesting! I’m sorry it took so long! I got a little carried away with the prompts, but I hope you like them. If I ever write a cinderella AU for Sebby, we will all know the origin story.  I based the second prompt off of the first one, which has a meet cute vibe to it. I know you didn’t request that, but it sort of happened as I was writing 😅. Anyways, thanks again, I really hope you enjoy this!❤❤❤

To be honest, after reading your ask, the beautiful token human butler was my only option. While many of the residents could probably match your wit, Sebby is the one who would actively challenge you.

When you first met, you two wouldn’t stop bickering. Comte considered splitting the housework so you two would have to work together as little as possible, but neither of you are about to give up on your daily arguments. There are still points to be made.

Despite how your relationship looks like from an outsider’s perspective, you both do enjoy each other’s company, even if you have convinced the rest of the mansion of the opposite. Sebastian enjoys having someone around who will question him, helping him improve in the process, even if he won’t admit to that.

It doesn’t take long for you to come across his obsession love of history. You may come across a certain notebook, but neither of you shall ever speak of that again.

After that fateful day your conversations shift towards the topic of history. After living in a mansion full of geniuses for so long, with only a notebook to share his fangirling admiration with, he is very excited to have someone to share his discoveries with. You two can often be heard comparing historical figures, trying to conclude who was more impactful in the long run, while somehow managing to cook for the entire mansion in the process.

When you two grow closer, you get more comfortable, allowing him to witness another side to you. And so the teasing begins. You can’t help yourself. Despite how put together he looks, he is not immune to you. His reaction is especially picture worthy when you flick him for the first time. His eyes wide with shock, gloved hand rubbing his forehead. It’s impossible not to laugh. Even Comte, who happens to be present, can be heard chuckling/

 Prompt 5: Fairytale AU:

When you entered the ballroom, all eyes turned to look at you. You hoped the eye catching dress would work in your favor later. You sighed before descending down the stairs, eyes scanning the room for the prince. This was the chance you had been waiting for. The chance to get away from your stepmother. All you needed to do was convince the prince you were special, special enough to consider marrying. Being an option would be enough to earn you a fresh start.

When your eyes fell on the young man, you discreetly made your way towards him, waiting for the right moment to strike conversation. When the music started playing, you saw him looking around for a partner. You moved swiftly, before more ambitious women noticed.

“Care to dance?” you looked him in the eye, determined to achieve your goal. He smiled before putting his hands around your waist, guiding you to the dance floor. Everyone’s attention was on you. You were worried one of your step sisters would notice you, despite you best attempts to disguise yourself. You needed to get him away quickly.

“I was surprised to see a prince look so lonely in a room full of people.” He didn’t seem to hear you, his gaze seemingly somewhere far away.

“Um, sir?” he didn’t reply. When the song changed he pulled away, head dipping once before walking away in a hurry. You stood there, alone, discarded by a prince himself. He hadn’t even batted an eyelash.  Frustration welled up inside you as you watched him walk away. So much time built up to this. Another loss.

“Would you mind giving me this dance?” a young man appeared in front of you, his hair a mixed shade between black and grey, depending on the angle you looked at it from. He seemed anxious.

“Sure.” You couldn’t hide the disappointment from your voice as he took your hand, the two of you falling back in line with the rest of the pairs.

“I am sorry I’m not the partner you hoped for. The prince is… not motivated to find a partner tonight.” His words were meant to be comforting, but in that moment you didn’t care about what the prince wanted. He was your ticket out and he had barely even looked at you.

“He could try to be more considerate. Some of us aren’t so privileged we can play hard to get.” You knew it was probably reckless to speak of the future king that way, but you didn’t care. It was over now.

“He is… complicated. But he did care enough to send me lighten your mood. Not sure how much of an apology that is.” The man almost sounded sad. You looked him over for the first time that night. He wasn’t dressed like the other nobles. Something about his face was familiar.

“Aren’t you the prince’s assistant?” when the realization hit you, you wanted to kick yourself in the foot.

“Yes. You don’t have to look so worried. I can’t blame you for your frustration.”  You couldn’t let yourself relax, knowing you had just insulted the prince in front of his right hand man.

“I apologize for my disrespect. I just…” your voice trailed off.

“Just?” you hesitated, unsure of whether or not you could trust him. That was when the song ended. You expected the man to walk away, but he led you to a less crowded corner of the room, not speaking up until you had some privacy.

“His majesty never agreed with this ball. It was his father who insisted. The pressure of an heir weighs heavy on his shoulders.” You had figured that much. A ball that gets organized with the purpose of finding a wife isn’t the most romantic start to a love story.

“We all have to make sacrifices. Marriage is more often than not, based on interest, not love.”

“So I can presume you didn’t come here today because of your feelings for the prince?” you nodded, knowing there wasn’t much you could do after all you heard.

“I needed an escape. The prince could have given it to me.” You were both silent for a few minutes. You almost thought the conversation was over until he spoke up again.

“Can I show you something?” he was offering you his hand. This was the first time you were meeting this man, you weren’t sure if you could trust him, but something about the way he looked at you compelled you to put your hand on his, allowing him to lead you away from the crowded room.

You ended up on a balcony, the entire city laid down before you. The noise of the party was completely drowned out, only your breathing interrupting the silence.

“It’s beautiful” in that moment you forgot about your step mother, the prince, the party. It was only you and the world before you.

“It’s a vast world out there. You don’t need the prince to show you your way.” Everything felt so simple. The stars were bright that night, lighting the city bellow, stretching for miles, as far as the eye could see. You felt you opened your eyes after a long time.

“What’s your name?’

“Sebastian.”

 Prompt 8: Drunk

It had been a few months since you met Sebastian. After that first encounter the two of you grew closer, arranging outings when you were free. But today was the first time you were meeting after you managed to leave your step mother, your own house and work finally secured.

“This would have happened way sooner if you had let me help you know.” He had offered his help countless time, but you refused to take an easy way out.

“Absolute show-off. You know, offering so much help to someone usually looks a certain way, especially to an outsider.” You leaned closer to him, batting your eyelashes to get the full effect. His face quickly turned beet red. You couldn’t help but laugh as he coughed, trying to regain his composure.

“You are the one making it look that way you know.” He took a gulp of his drink, avoiding looking you in the eye.

After some time filled with similar interactions, Sebastian was slowly getting considerably drunker.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much.” You looked back on the time you’ve known him, realizing you had never actually seen him drink before.

“I-It’s a celebration. T-That’s what pe-ople do.” His words were interrupted by a heavy amount of hiccupping.

“I think that’s enough alcohol for you.” You pulled the cup from his hand with ease, considering his limbs were practically jelly. “I wouldn’t have been offended if you didn’t empty the entire bottle.” You laughed watching him struggle to look you in the eye.

“I- I got it specifically f-or this occasion. It would be r-ude to let it g-o to waste.” You burst out laughing, unable to contain yourself as he fumbled with his words. Even drunk he was a gentleman.

“You should go to bed. Come one, up you go.” You tried to pull him to his feet, but his weight was just a little too much for you. “Come on, you can stay here for the night, but I’m not letting you sleep out on the balcony.” You looked at the view in front of you, feeling once again grateful you had found a house with one. It reminded you of your first meeting with him.

“Come on Sebby, don’t make me drag you there.” At the sound of the nickname, his body shot up.

“I’ve said not to call me that, it makes me feel like a child.” It didn’t shock you that this was the only thing he had said without completely losing to flow of his speech.

“You kind of remind of a child right now. So I think Sebby is quite fitting.” He looked at you for a good minute before the words registered. You watched as he pushed himself up on unsteady feet, his hand reaching up to catch your cheek. Despite his drunken state, his gaze was almost focused as he looked into your eyes. You couldn’t help but stare back, getting momentarily lost in the grey.

“I remind you of a child?” in that moment you thought of him as everything but a child, but you weren’t about to admit it.

“I think it’s time we both go to bed.” You tried to ignore the beating of your heart as you helped him inside, towards the sofa. You tried to let him down as gently as possible, helping him get a little more comfortable before draping a blanket over him. His eyes closed quickly, the alcohol finally getting the best of him.

“Goodnight, Sebastian.”

[aijee]

is this a life update or a novel?

Hi all, long time no post! Nice to meet you new followers, and nice to talk to you again for those who’ve stuck around. Just as a reminder, my blog is as much of a fic blog as it is a journal for me to sort my thoughts.

In that vein, here’s a personal update. CW for mental health/anxiety, physical pain, big life changes. There’s lighter stuff at the end!

It’s been both a long and short summer for me, after deciding to quit work and focus on my mental health. I’m a millennial twenty-something whose mind, like many, is tragically crippled with the capitalistic and individualistic values America has brainwashed me with, so I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with being unemployed and depending on my parents. I’m extremely privileged and humbled to be in a family that still maintains income during unprecedented times. I’ve been trying not to let my internalized struggles turn into this self-imposed shame for partaking in pleasures (I remember second-thinking buying a digital comic book for hours). My parents often say, “We worked hard and struggled because we didn’t want our kids to do the same. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying yourself.” Nowadays, they add that I’ve worked hard during college and my post-college job; in their eyes, I’ve more than “earned” a break, especially after losing my graduation, summers, and trips.

I constantly wonder why I impose so many limitations of myself even more during a pandemic. While being aware of global struggle is important for not becoming out-of-touch, I need to remind myself that people don’t have to earn the right to play or be happy or enjoyment. Obvious lack of nuance aside, it’s crazy to think how much capitalism—largely the idea worth is contingent (work) productivity—has deformed my sense of what’s a basic human right versus what should be earned. I think I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I struggle with thinking in extremes; it’s either starvation or hedonism, and the latter earns far more societal vitriol. I think my Asian upbringing has made me hyperaware of what others could be thinking of me, regardless of how accurate those projections are. I’d fact, I rarely assumed positive opinions. Outside of external validation, I realized how poor my self-image really was. Tearing myself down before anyone else could rarely, if ever, softened the blow.

For the first time, I’ve begun to think that my life is my own and no one else’s. It sounds logical on paper, but so much harder in practice in real life, I’ve realized. This isn’t a constant or ingrained thought yet, often peaking in between longer and more familiar strings of anxiety. But it feels like an important realization during a time full of sadness and uncertainty, let alone in my lifetime at all.

And then I injured my spine.

It happened towards the end of the summer, when I was starting to feel more put-together internally. I felt so creatively productive (in avenues I don’t care to share online) and even closer to family. I had a ball revisiting old shows. I ate food I hadn’t eaten in years. And this was suddenly interrupted when, while showering, I was wracked with unimaginable, nonstop pain. I nearly passed out alone in the shower and barely managed to crawl to my bedside to call my parents; I was lucky they came home early. I couldn’t stop crying for almost twelve hours. I was terrified at the possibility that I may be paralyzed or my legs would be affected. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but I was bedridden and wracked with nausea. I could barely stomach anything, not even water. I couldn’t sleep. I was never brought to a hospital, either on the fear of COVID transmission. The whole time, it was so, so debilitating on a physical and mental front. My head was a nightmare.

Like a bad habit, some of my worst thoughts centered around productivity. I worried about the work I couldn’t do. I felt shameful about canceling plans with friends. I hated being helpless and not being able to take care of myself, and felt guilty for wasting other people’s time taking care of me. And yet, if I was someone else, even a stranger let alone a friend/loved one, I’d be scratching my head over why that person would think these things. Fuck work and other life plans, getting better is the most important thing because you can’t do any of those compromised activities if you’re not at capacity! Duh. Anxiety can really a number on you sometimes and it’s awful just how irrationality fuels the spiral.

I’m grateful to be back on my feet. I’m trying to hold on tightly to that victory, to this positive point that I have worked towards. It’s going to be a challenge to do my recovery exercises daily for my 2-3 month recovery period when I barely remember to floss. Moreover, I’ll be in the middle of moving and working full-time again in the next month, alongside the ridiculous anxiety over some applications and maybe interviews for a different part of my life. But I’m doing my best to take each day at a time and celebrate the good things when they come, however small. I don’t have to ace a final exam or burn my retinas studying for them to deserve victories because, hey, again, happiness is a right and I need to stop gatekeeping myself from it.

Frankly, the injury is largely why I haven’t posted sooner. I don’t think anyone should ever feel obligated to use social media when they aren't up to it. But I actually wanted to ease back into writing before I was injured, starting with this blog.

Some other positive things:

God, I missed the Avatar (Aang and Korra) series so much. What a damn good franchise, what a damn good magic system and world. IT’S. SO. GOOD, GOD. Revisiting it all and reading the comics while I was sick was the single biggest joy that kept me going. I hope the magic lingers for as long as possible.

Even in my inactivity, I’ve received some really lovely comments on my AO3. I read the emails primarily. It really warms my hear to see them. I revisited old comments recently, too, and they’ve helped keep me going and reminded me that I am capable of putting joy into the world.

I’ve taken a liking to Youtube playlist-videos and Spotify playlists that encompass a very specific story scenario, like “dancing with the villain in a masquerade ball” or “driving around the French countryside”, etc. Japanese 80′s urban pop is SO GOOD.

Smosh has been putting out such great content y’all. I was BIG on old Youtube (Nigahiga, Smosh, Michelle Phan, Jenna Marbles, etc.) and it warms my heart to see their renaissance. Amazingly entertaining and down-to-earth content. I don’t fall squarely into their demographic anymore, but the periphery is still fun.

Food is great. I love food still. I’ve eaten a lot of good food during this break. It almost pains me to go back to living by myself and eating healthier. :’(

I didn’t realize how expensive moving was. But, after living in the same apartment from sophomore uni to post-uni work, I’m moving into a bigger “adult” apartment with appropriately sized appliances instead of the mini student kind. The possibility of treating myself to a king-sized mattress and decorations is also very exciting.

It warms my heart to see people in my vague social circles indulging in home art projects, like paint by numbers and “diamond” painting. As a kid I thought “not real art” was a waste, but by god as an adult do I not give a shit about what “real art” is anymore. If it’s fun, it’s fun. That’s that!

That’s all I can think about for now.

[duker42]

Hi! Are requests open? If not then you can ignore it. Levi's earlier days as Captain not only gave him a privilege of own room but also a lot of paperwork but Levi as someone from the Underground can't read or write. That's when y/n comes in handy and teaches him in secret almost every night (it even lead to some gossips about the nature of their relationship). One day Levi asks yn why she's helping him and she answers that as a dyslexic she understands how it is to be judged based on this skill

💜Helping Hand💜

Y/N held her head up high as she made her way out of the Mess Hall, fully aware of the gossip that would start the moment she exited the door. She knew what they were saying about her, but she didn’t care.

She didn’t look down as she made her way through the familiar corridor, nodding at any Scout she passed. She wasn’t ashamed or sneaking off, she was boldly walked to a door.

Jealousy and envy were most of the reasons for the whispers. Not that Y/N gave a damn about either one of those things. The females would gripe that she was trying to curry favor with the new Captain by spreading her legs. The men would bitch because his title as Humanity’s Strongest landed him a girl that they believed he wouldn’t have without it.

She knocked on the door and waited for him to grant her entrance. When he did, she closed the door behind her and threw the bolt, locking them into his office and quarters. When she turned around she saw that he was already halfway to being comfortable. For him.

Levi had abandoned his jacket and cravat. His harness were also discarded, allowing his limbs to enjoy the lack of bite the tight leather caused by digging into his skin. Sleeves were rolled up halfway to reveal pale muscular arms. His top few buttons undone to show off the smooth collarbones and the hollow of his throat.

He looked up and knew that Y/N had come from dinner. She was still in fully uniform. If she had taken the time to go back to her room before coming to him, she would have shown up in some loose pants and a shirt. He wished she had.

He looked around the clean and neat room, wondering where to get started tonight. If the desk was preferable or would she rather the couch. He didn’t know why she came to him night after night, why he mattered so much. But he was grateful that she did, leaving him more confident and satisfied with what they’d done by the time she sought her own bed.

“What are you working on?” Y/N asked as she came over to him.

Levi grumbled, glaring at the pages in front of him. “Fucking paperwork from Erwin of course. Can’t just let me fight. Have to do all this shit.”

Y/N smiled and held a hand out. “Mind if I check it?”

Levi handed over the papers, secretly relieved she would proof his work before having to turn it over to the Commander.

Newly promoted Captain Levi had a secret that he hadn’t wanted too many people to know. He had been illiterate.

There wasn’t much use for reading and writing in the Underground where he had be born and grew up. He wasn’t raised, that would imply someone was looking out for him. He didn’t count Kenny teaching him how to fight and kill to be raising him. Teaching him survival, but never nurturing.

When he had be promoted to Captain and granted the ridiculous title of Humanity’s Strongest Solider, he had anticipated the private room away from the barracks with relieved joy. What Erwin had failed to mention was all the damn paperwork that came with the privilege, bastard.

The only reason Y/N knew was because she had delivered some papers to him, catching him at a moment were he had frowned in confusion at the words and cursed when he hadn’t been able to decipher them.

He had been trying to teach himself to read in private, taking books and newspapers to try and figure out what it was saying. He wasn’t getting very far and the paperwork had begun to pile up on his desk, his frustration mounting due to his refusal to admit his inability to accomplish it. You never showed your weakness in the Underground, a lesson that Levi hadn’t been able to shake off in the sunshine.

Somehow Y/N had figured out that the confused look on Levi’s face paired with the way his eyes were darting back and forth across the page meant that he didn’t understand what was on it.

Y/N hadn’t said anything, just left his office quietly. But he had been surprised when a knock sounded on his door again a few minutes later. Everyone was supposed to be in bed, she had delivered the paperwork on her way by, Erwin having flagged her down in the hallway.

Y/N entered again and came over to him, her appearance much more casual in sleepwear, but still perfectly modest. He wasn’t uneasy until she set the object in her hand down on his desk. “It’s a book to help with reading and writing, Captain.”

He had given her a dark glare and used his hardest voice to ask what she was implying. He hadn’t faltered when she hadn’t withered underneath the look, instead looking back at him with compassion and understanding.

“You can’t read, sir. Let me help you. I can teach you how to read and write and no one will find out about it.” Y/N said.

Levi had leaned back in his chair and studied her for a long time, silent. He didn’t detect an underhanded reason for her offer and he was always pretty good at reading someone’s intentions. Even if he couldn’t read the papers in front of him.

He had given her a small nod and she had smiled at him, and got right to work teaching him the basics.

She had taken her time, patient with him even when he was moody which was often. Didn’t mind his foul mouth and never berated him when he messed up. She had worked him through his backlog of paperwork, her neat hand writing out what he wanted to say.

Now two months later, he was getting a lot better at the basics and they had moved on from block handwriting to cursive. It was hours of hand cramping practice, but Levi was grateful to Y/N for all her help. His reading was improving daily with Y/N challenging him with harder words.

He wondered why she did it. Always waited for some favor to be called in. Something she wanted in return for teaching him such a valuable thing, for allowing him to save face in front of the Survey Corps. But she never hinted at wanting anything from him. It was nice but confusing.

His need to know finally got the best of him that night after she had proofed his work and only found two mistakes. “Why do you do this, Y/N?” He asked, studying her.

“Because I know how it feels.” Y/N said casually as she checked over his corrections.

“How?” He sat up straight in his chair.

“I have dyslexia, I’m judged plenty because of it.” She said, looking up to meet his gaze.

“What the fuck is that?” Levi furrowed his brow in confusion.

“I can mix up letters or sounds. My mind confuses certain letters. Like a B and D, or a C and T. Instead of C-A-T spelling cat, I would write T-A-C. I had to work harder than anyone else in school and I was made fun of pretty badly sometimes.” She explained.

“But you’re good at it now.” Levi said.

“Yeah, but it’s something that I work at. If I’m tired I can slip up and make mistakes. That’s why I read things multiple times, I’m checking to make sure I haven’t messed up.” Y/N said.

“Yeah...well, thanks for this, Y/N.” Levi mumbled, uneasy with expressing thanks.

“Don’t worry about it, Captain. I’m glad I could lend you a helping hand.”

Mobile MasterList

[starlingsrps]

poppy allen character development.

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME:  poppy lieke allen

NICKNAME(S): nope.

PREFERRED NAME(S): poppy

BIRTH DATE: october 25

AGE: twenty seven

GENDER: cis female

PRONOUNS: feminine

ROMANTIC/SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual

NATIONALITY: american

ETHNICITY: american-dutch

CURRENT LOCATION: los angeles, ca

LIVING CONDITIONS: neat and tidy, well decorated. she's definitely in laurel canyon, purposefully kind of a bitch to drive to.

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: santa barbara, ca

HOMETOWN: montecito, ca

PLACES LIVED: montecito, new york, london - wherever the hell she's filming tbh. los angeles is home.

SOCIAL CLASS: upper upper. when your eighteenth birthday is a people magazine cover, you don't pretend.

EDUCATION LEVEL: high school

FATHER: bryce hawthorne, 57, movie star

MOTHER: saskia werhoff, 52, model turned lifestyle guru

SIBLING(S): marieke allen, 25; matthias allen, 20

BIRTH ORDER: poppy, marieke, matthias

CHILDREN: absolutely no.

PET(S): nope; allergic to most things with fur.

OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: her mother's family in the netherlands, her father's in nebraska.

PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: legion and documented online.

ARRESTS?: nope.

PRISON TIME?: nope.

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: actress

SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: spokesperson

TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: trust fund

CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: like why wouldn't she be

PAST JOB(S): does she look like she's ever done intensive work?

SPENDING HABITS: poppy's version of reasonable is absolutely not the same as a normal persons. she thinks she's reasonable but that's just because she doesn't own a diamond encrusted birkin. she buys things that are high quality and doesn't really have experience with things that aren't.

MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: real estate portfolio. she owns her house and a condo in new york. both are points of pride for her.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: B-

OFFENSE: B

DEFENSE: B

SPEED: B

INTELLIGENCE: B

ACCURACY: B+

AGILITY: B

STAMINA: B

TEAMWORK: C+

TALENTS: poppy has an incredible work ethic and sense of loyalty. she knows she's lucky to be where she is in life but she's going to show up the same as anyone else on set and give her best every time. she knows her self worth and she does not compromise on it one single bit.

SHORTCOMINGS: that can come off as.....abrasive.

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english and dutch

DRIVE?: yes

JUMP-STAR A CAR?: she was definitely taught by her father but it did not stick.

CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: see above.

RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes

SWIM?: yes

PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no

PLAY CHESS?: no

BRAID HAIR?: yes

TIE A TIE?: yes

PICK A LOCK?: no.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: abigail cowen

EYE COLOR: blue

HAIR COLOR: red; boosted from strawberry blonde to red-red.

HAIR TYPE/STYLE: long and swishy. it's a signature at this point. that pantene hair deal did not just materialize on it's own.

GLASSES/CONTACTS?: both - a bitch is Nearsighted.

DOMINANT HAND: right

HEIGHT: 5'7

BUILD: willowy and toned, great ass.

EXERCISE HABITS: daily - she looks at it as part of her job description and between her father's biceps and her mother's devotion to yoga, she wasn't really raised with much of a choice but to use the gym.

SKIN TONE: fair, little freckled. a lot freckled if the sun has gotten to her.

TATTOOS: none

PEIRCINGS: ears

MARKS/SCARS: none

NOTABLE FEATURES: the Hair, upturned nose

USUAL EXPRESSION: attentive

CLOTHING STYLE: carefully curated. god i miss polyvore this would be so much easier. hold for pinterest board.

JEWELRY: whatever suits/is loaned for the occasion. she has a lot of small pieces that she owns for daily wear and a few really nice bits that she got from her parents as gifts.

ALLERGIES: dander, almonds.

DIET: nothing super weird/out of the ordinary, definitely erring on the trendy and consciously healthy end of things.

PHYSICAL AILMENTS: nah.

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: type eight

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral

TEMPERAMENT: choleric

ELEMENT: water

SOCIABILITY: A - poppy is incredibly charming and social.

EMOTIONAL STABILITY: ehhhh i'll give her a B-. like she's not bad but when her temper gets triggered, hell will reign.

OBSESSION(S): nah

COMPULSION(S): nah

PHOBIA(S): failure

ADDICTION(S): nah

DRUG USE: she does smoke, she does know, she doesn't care.

ALCOHOL USE: social drinker.

PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: no (yet i think a certain someone might get something thrown at him)

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: even and cultivated. she has a pretty feminine voice and has done a little voiceover work.

ACCENT: nope.

QUIRKS: she squints a lot, even if she does have her glasses on or contacts in. this bitch is Blind.

HOBBIES: she does read a lot and she does enjoy trying new things. nothing crafty but she's pretty down for new activities.

HABITS: daily workout, twice weekly call with her Team, grooming, work. she likes to stay busy and likes to stay organized - her planner is sacred.

NERVOUS TICKS: don't fucking touch her planner.

DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: personal success. she was well known before she jumped into acting and modeling on her own by virtue of her parents but she absolutely wants to be her own person. she doesn't use her father's SAG name (legally, they're all allens rather than hawthorne but SAG), she doesn't do any mommy and me/daddy and me projects and she steers any interviews away from heavy talk about her family.

FEARS: personal failure. she knows she'll be okay no matter what - she's got the cushion of wealth and privilege - but she does not want to ever fail on her own merits.

POSITIVE TRAITS: loyal, generous, hard working, passionate, driven, fearless.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: bossy, stubborn, abrasive, no sense of limitations, single minded.

SENSE OF HUMOR: good! kind of dorky, prone to dragging the shit out of people.

DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: ehhhhh what is often

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: sex working, being alone. she spends so much time surrounded by people that being alone to relax is a luxury.

ANIMAL: she thinks dogs are awesome but she can't be around them without a shitload of benadryl so like, bears?

BEVERAGE: the iced coffee IS surgically attached to her hand, thanks!

BOOK:

CELEBRITY: her parents, corny as that is. least favorite is her brother, who's big on tiktok and habitually trying to use her pool for shenanigans.

COLOR: red

DESIGNER: she's a valentino bitch.

FOOD: a really, really good steak.

FLOWER: gardenias

GEM: pearls

HOLIDAY: christmas

MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: flying

MOVIE: father of the bride

MUSICAL ARTIST: kacey musgraves

SCENERY: the ocean. she's a coastal california girl and she does not like to be far from the water.

SCENT: ocean, gardenias, coffee.

SPORT: baseball

SPORTS TEAM: dodgers

TELEVISION SHOW: nothing specific but she will watch food network competition shows for hours.

WEATHER: bright and sunny

VACATION DESTINATION: exotic and warm.

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: having her career measured on its own merits; oscar. she doesn't not want a family and such outside of that but her career is her focus. she's in a good place and she doesn't want to put anything on pause.

GREATEST FEAR: poppy is alarmingly fearless. the only thing she truly fears is failing herself. nothing else really matters.

MOST AT EASE WHEN: with her family on the ranch in montecito to hang out and relax. she likes being around her sister - marieke is a classics student and has been bouncing about europe for the past seven years and they don't get to see each other very often. marieke is calm and completely removed from hollywood and she's basically the human equivelent of going to a spa.

LEAST AT EASE WHEN: not....no. poppy may be slightly uncomfortable but she is never going to let that show or acknowledge it.

WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: a scandal she can't recover from.

BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: her career, the first time she wasn't mentioned in conjuction with her parents in a magazine article in the first paragraph.

BIGGEST REGRET: nope.

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: she's sure there have been but they're all pretty buried.

BIGGEST SECRET: keiran, 100%.

TOP PRIORITIES: her career. it's a thing she can control.

[naerryn]

Fragile Tension (Part One)

Part Two

“How many coffee is that now?”, my partner Lea asked bemused when she sat down at the edge of my office desk as she’s eyeing the steaming black coffee next to my laptop.

“Six? I am surprised you’re really drinking this dishwater.”, she asked in the blue, tugging some of hair messy curly hair behind her round ears and I noticed dark circles around her chocolate brown eyes, even through her almond brown skin tone concealed a lot of her tiredness.

“Better than nothing.”, I shrugged her comment off and added some milk and sugar into the porcelain mug. Nightshift at the Magic Task Force facility was always an unpleasant experience, to say the least. Either nothing was going on and you had to fight sleep for ten hours straight, or the crazy shit was blowing up right into our face. There was nothing in between.

At least, there weren’t many other agents in the building at this hour. Especially almost to no elves.

“Oh, guess what.”, Lea started talking again, obviously I was part of her plan to fight off her desire to sleep while I was stirring my coffee with a silver spoon. I hummed in respond, waiting for her to continue talking.

“I heard Agent Arlon bitching about the public speech your mother held in the elf district of Seattle today. Shame for all elves and the usual bullshit.”

“And here I thought you head something new.”, I replied with a dramatic roll of my eyes, taking a sip from my almost to sweet tasting coffee. It was an open secret that the bigger part of the elvish society considered my mother to be their personal Dark Lord. Or antichrist, how humans liked to say in such a matter.

She worked since decades for a real equality between all races, not just one that stood on paper. Growing up privileged, my mother sympathized at a very young age with creatures that weren’t lucky enough to live behind guarded walls and enjoy the best unaffordable education for over 60 % of the planet.

Her speeches back then were waved off as youthful flaws, but when she felt in love with a human and decided to give birth to the first halfbreed of the elvish kind, that crossed the line for most elves.

It was socially tolerated to have a secret affair with humans, but that’s were the comfort zone ended. Being in an official relationship would be a scandal to an alarming extent and the pressure to much to bear, but breeding with a different race, that was a social death sentence.

I lived my childhood in the elf district of New York City, moved with my parents to three more elvish districts around the country before we finally settled in Los Angeles. Still a lot of hate, but at least there was enough other gossip that we could live our lives in peace for most parts. There were only heydays of hatred whenever mother did one of her more passionate speeches about equality or wanted to enforce a new law that didn’t benefit the needs of the elves.

“One should think that they are more discrete with you being around.”, Lea said thoughtfully, taking one of the elder files that rested on my desk and flipped through the pages.

“Nah, they love it when I walk in to listen to their shit. Hoping I will cry my eyes out about it.”

Back when Lea and I got paired up roughly three years ago, she thought I am just one of those arrogant elves that fill the halls of the department, thinking that everyone should bow to them. But that impression dissolved into dust when she witnessed me getting bullied by elvish coworkers on a daily basis.

I may looked like them, minus the pointed teeth and the bright, light colored eyes, those were human, I got treated like an abomination since the day of my conception. Even by my elvish grandparents.

A loud ping echoed through the open space office and the door of the elevator opened with a swift motion, revealing the Agents Kandomere and Montehugh to be back from a field trip.

I growled at the sight of the buff elf, with his dyed blue hair slicked back nicely and his silver-blue eyes scanning the room as he entered the room with his partner.

“Behave.”, Lea hissed quietly, but we both knew that Kandomere heard every word we would exchange from now on, even if he would be five rooms apart from us.

He was the personification of my archenemy. The second I laid eyes on his silver gorget, etched with the sentence “Elves above all. Above all elves.” in Övüsi, the elvish language, I decided to hate him with a burning passion.

And after a heated debate in a team meeting around a year ago, where it wouldn’t have taken much for us to strangle one another to death, our human partners decided to keep us separated by all costs. And it worked until now.

I didn’t came around to notice how he clenched his strong jaw as his piercing eyes landed on me, heard his heartbeat quickening and he let out a deep breath.

“Can’t he breath even louder.”

“[Y/N]!”, my partner hissed again, this time a bit more aggressive, her eyes dancing between me and the two arrivals and I could swear I noticed a pleading look on Montehughs face directed at Lea.

“Why don’t we go to the archives? Decoding some ancient languages? What do you say, [Y/N]?”

“No.”

“Well, I could go for something small to eat, Kandomere.”, I heard Montehughs booming voice, looking around the room casually before glancing at his partner, who was striding through the room in my direction.

“Then go.”, he said callous, passing Lea and my desk with stone cold features before I could hear the chair of the desk right behind mine being pulled back. So that’s his first move, I thought to myself and decided to slurp on my coffee rather unladylike.

I felt his death glare literally on the back of my head, but at this very moment, I couldn’t care less. Instead, I had to hold back myself from laughing about Lea and Montehugh, who were unable to cope with their (half-) elvish partners.

Montehugh, who still stood close to the elevator, walked the invisible path Kandomere previously moved on, but he came to halt right next to Lea and myself.

“Long time no see... So, how is it going?”

“Well, it’s always the same, Ulysses.”

“Ulysses?”, I blurred out with a raised eyebrow, watching the two humans with an answer demanding look in the eyes and judging the of Kandomeres sharp breath we were sitting in the same boat.

“That’s his name.”

“I know, but since when are we addressing each other by first name?”

He’s with the enemy, I thought to myself, as I tried my best not to let that thought become visible on my facial features.

“I have friends beside you, [Y/N].”

“Friends?”, this time, it was Kandomeres sonorous voice filling the air as he rose his voice and I slid back while remaining on the chair to be able to look at him and the two human.

“Since we can’t bring the two of you to team meetings without starting the apocalypse, we started talking during the breaks and stuff.”, Montehugh said in defense, crossing his arms in front of his chest while Lea slipped down from the desk to stand next to him.

“Oh really?”, Kandomere and I said at the same time, quickly glancing at one another before turning our attention back to our partners.

"You both are behaving ridiculous. I mean, look at you.”

“She’s right. You know what, Lea and I are getting some supper and you guys can burn down this place if necessary, but don’t get us involved anymore.”, and with that being said, Montehugh and Lea turned their backs on us and headed straight for the elevator and just a blink of the eye later, they were gone behind metallic doors.

“That’s your fault.”, Kandomere said in a low growl, interlocking his hands in front of his face while staring at me with arched eyebrows.

“My fault?”, I asked him outraged, placing a hand on my chest as I swirled around to face him. He remained silently, his silver-blue eyes staring me down without blinking.

“This is hardly my fault. You”

“I have done nothing.”

“Of course. How could I forget that our godlike Kandomere isn’t able to do anything wrong. Elves above all. Above all elves. Right!”, I yelled at him and both of us rose to our feet, only a desk kept us apart from one another.

At first, there was pure rage shown on his face, but with every heavy breath that he exhaled, his strong features began to soften.

“So this what it was all about the entire time?”, Kandomere asked me calmly, tilting his head while he scanned my features for any sign if he found the final clue to solve a case that caused him a lot of headaches.

Unwittingly, I backed away a small step, meeting the desk I said behind for the last two hours with my backside while my full attention rested on the elf in front of me.

“What are you talking about?”, I muttered under my breath and felt awed by the sudden change of his demeanor as I watched Kandomere pointing at his silver gorget, his piercing light eyes locked with mine.

“You hate me because of a piece of jewelry?”

“I hate you for everything this piece of jewelry stands for.”, I told him honestly and I could tell by the look on his face what he was thinking at this very moment. That I was sounding just like my mother.

“I have nothing against other races.”

“But?”

“But I think most need supervision.”

“By elves?”, I wasn’t beating around the bush, but neither was Kandomere, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest while he walked around the desk, now standing an arm-length apart from me as he leaned against the desk.

“Yes.”

I snorted in respond, shaking my head in disbelief about his dusty, old fashioned views. Sadly, this view was shared by most of those elitist pure-blooded elves. An awkward silence took a firm grip of us, mentally going through the usual better and worse reasons to believe in each of our views.

Those debates were held millions of times, there was no good reason for the two of us to start it on our own. Nothing new would come out of it. Everything that someone could say on that topic was already said by older, more wiser elves then us.

“But that doesn’t mean that I hold any resentment towards you.”, Kandomere said after a long pause, slowly coming closer to me in small, graceful steps. I bit my lower lip, avoiding his gaze for a split second before looking back up to meet his eyes.

“I find it hard to belief.”

“Really?”

“Really.”, we exchanged our words quickly, and he came to stop right in front of me, the tip of his expensive designer shoes touching mine softly. He smelled like smoke of an open fire mixed with the scent of leather and roses. It left me wondering for a moment if there was someone waiting for him at home, but that thought left my racing mind as quickly as it entered.

“Then, would you allow me to prove you that my words are honest? All I want is a chance and time.”, he spoke calmly, looking down at me through half closed eyes.

“I have to think about it.”, I whispered, flinching away from him before I grabbed my jacket, which rested on the back of my chair before I stride towards the closed elevator.

I felt his eyes burning in the back of my head with every step I came closer to my escape, his smell still etched into my mind and the sonorous sound of his voice echoing in my head.

I needed a clear head, and here, with him, I wouldn’t be able to get what the back of my head demanded. That’s at least what I told myself as I waited for the elevator to show up, feeling like it’s taking longer then usual for it to show up on our floor.

With a loud ping, the door glided to one side and I quickly entered the small room to press the button for the ground floor. Turning around on the spot, my eyes landed on Kandomere one last time before the doors closed automatically.

The silver-blue orbs of his were pleading me to stay, to come back to him and sit down on the some chairs, talking about this and that and making first steps on getting to know one another. I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze as the door closed the engine of the elevator starting to lower the cabin to it’s destination.

(2184 Words)

[ahiddenpath]

Digimon Epilogue Celebration: Friendship

Some 2028 friendship headcanons below the cut.  I’m focusing on our known Chosen, since I haven’t thought enough about how their kiddos would interact.

-Some of the Chosen interact frequently in a professional capacity, even if they aren’t in the same business.  For example, Koushiro’s Digital World research and digimon technology advancements are relevant to Taichi as an ambassador, Ken as a digimon police officer, Jyou as a digimon doctor, and Iori as a lawyer specializing in the needs of digimon.  

Although our babes are not suspicious by nature, they tend to trust each other first whenever possible.  Sadly, they’ve suffered a lot at the hands of Chosen outside of their group abusing their ties to digimon and the inherent trust that the Chosen share as a global unit.

-Takeru spent a few months routinely calling and grilling everyone for info for his novels based on their adventures.  This actually caused contention in the group; some of the Chosen disagree on what happened (it was a long time ago, and the human memory isn’t very reliable), and some of them didn’t want certain events published.  Still, it’s Takeru, and...  The Chosen have trouble saying no to Takeru.  Some of them enjoyed the walk down memory lane...  Others, not so much.

-Taichi and Yamato forever retain their... complicated, but intimate relationship.  They each do a lot of traveling for work, and when they find themselves in the same city, they meet up for drinks/dinner/whatever the locals do for entertainment in that place.  They don’t see each other often, but when they do...  Everything instantly comes back, like they were never apart.

Which is both exceptionally comforting and annoying, because their bond is just as strange as is it strong.  They ask each other uncomfortable questions and don’t take shit if they think the other is making a mistake.  Phrases such as, “Get it together, ass” tend to come up.  Frequently.

-You can pry Mimi and Sora’s ‘close friends forever’ relationship from my cold, dead hands.  They rarely see each other in person- some years, the annual August 1 get-together is the only time- but they web chat, call, and text frequently.  They are both boss ladies who support each other and promote each other’s businesses however they can.  For all of their life, they provide each other with a safe place to talk without judgement, with nothing but support.

They also know how to paint the town on those rare times when they get together, especially when Miyako is there, too!

-SPEAKING OF BESTIES, Hikari and Miyako probably lived together at some point, but likely not for long, since Miyako and Ken married early.  They are probably the Chosen friends who see each other the most frequently in person, since Hikari’s teaching job and Miyako’s stay at home mom job allow the time for it.

Miyako encourages Hikari to stand up for herself, love herself, and start therapy.  Hikari gives Miyako outings and adult friendship time, which is vital for a SAHM.  Their kids are close friends.

-Taichi chose a difficult life for himself as a Digital World/earth ambassador.  The pressure and the mental load leak into his personal life.  When his job or leave take him to the Tokyo area, he stops by Koushiro’s place, and sometimes stays there, depending on Koushiro’s workload at the time.  

Taichi continues to tell Koushiro things he can’t tell anyone else.  Koushiro is someone who... both admires Taichi and sees him as a leader, but also sees him as he is: a normal man with a lot on his shoulders who often needs a friendly ear and a quiet place to rest.  In return, Koushiro can relax around Taichi, and he is usually willing to set his work aside for as long as Taichi needs him, outside of emergencies.

-Koushiro is in email contact with Miyako about their lives and his work.  He encourages her to work as a Digital World researcher when her kids are all in school and helps her find a position.

-Ken and Daisuke are BEST BROS FOR LIFE, and they absolutely abuse their digital gate privileges to see each other from anywhere around the world, at any time.  Miyako jokes about “did you marry me, or Daisuke,” but the truth is that she loves Daisuke, too, and joins them when she can.

Daisuke pops in from America with food from whatever restaurant he just discovered.  Since he brings enough for the whole Ichijouji clan, he is warmly received by all.  The night usually ends with a fun game of soccer with Daisuke, his son, and the Ichijoujis.

-Iori and Ken have an interesting relationship as adults, since their jobs bring them in contact so frequently.  Ken once said, “See you at the next murder,” to Iori at a party, and Iori nodded, not realizing that they had horrified the other party guests (who did not realize that Ken meant ‘in court, where I will be offering evidence from the scene and you will be defending someone’).

Ken and Iori respect the hell out of each other.  Happily, if they do see each other in court, they are usually on the same team/have the same goal of defending the innocent.

When they are both available, they sometimes attend meditation classes together.

-As an adult, Jyou continues his trend of “difficult to get in touch with.”  Being a doctor in a whole new field is no joke!  But he drops everything if he isn’t at the hospital to help any Chosen with a medical concern.

He tends to be in contact most frequently with Koushiro, often to discuss their research/work, and with Yamato.  He and Yamato can tell each other anything without judgement, and though they rarely see each other in person, they talk on the phone at least monthly.

-Miyako and Mimi try their best to see each other at least quarterly, but it’s difficult for Mimi to make the time.  Still, they call about once a week, and their conversations are usually energetic, happy, and refreshing for both parties.  Miyako loves hearing Mimi’s juicy studio gossip and travel stories, although she sometimes feels a little envious of Mimi’s lifestyle.

-Takeru and Hikari have a few periods (when they’re both single) when everyone suspects they’re dating on the down low.  Who knows!  Although they don’t see each other often, they check in once every few months.  Hikari loves Takeru’s sense of humor, but his... big personality can be difficult for her to deal with at times.  Takeru has had a quiet crush on Hikari for a long time.

-Sora and Taichi are in phone/web chat contact, sometimes often, sometimes not.  To be honest, Taichi sometimes avoids Sora when he’s low, or he knows she will scold him (because he effed up).  Sora sometimes feels a little guilt about how far apart life has taken them, since they used to hang out daily in elementary school.

Sora sees Taichi’s struggles from afar and wants to help, but Taichi tends to make that difficult.  Still, Sora’s warmth usually wins the day, and they connect when they really need each other.  When Taichi is in a good mood, his positive attitude lifts Sora up.

-Jyou and Mimi aren’t in contact often, but they find time for the odd phone call here and there.  Mimi looks up to Jyou and wants to support him in his career and his life.  Her cheerfulness can turn a hard day at the hospital around.

-Daisuke forever looks up to Taichi, even when life has one or both of them down.  They see each other whenever Taichi is in NYC for work, and Daisuke cooks for him and takes him to whatever restaurant is his current favorite.  Taichi never says so, but Daisuke’s admiration for him means a lot.

-Takeru and Yamato share lifelong brotherhood.  Takeru will never stop adoring Yamato, and Yamato will never stop caring for Takeru (and worrying about him).  They babysit for each other and have family outings together.

-Hikari and Taichi are maybe a little more distant as they grow up than Takeru and Yamato?  But the siblings will drop everything if one or the other needs help, and they always have a good, supportive relationship.

-BONUS: Eimi (my headcanon Koushiro’s significant other) is often in contact with Jyou, as their hands-on work with digimon leads to information that they both need.  She also requests Ken’s help when she discovers another lab doing something shifty with digimon, or abuse of technology that she, Koushiro, or her coworkers at the National Data Bureau have developed.  

Eimi has seen Chosen outside of Taichi’s group abusing their status, so she insists on dealing with Taichi/Jyou/Iori/Ken when she needs help in their fields (and Koushiro, of course).  She thinks her coworkers yield to this because they also want the assistance of the most famous Chosen.  That’s not wrong...  But what she doesn’t realize is that being Koushiro’s wife gives her clout in digimon situations.  It’s for the best that she doesn’t feel her own influence; she assumes that everyone is looking to the original Chosen and not noticing what she’s up to.

Her closest relationships among Koushiro’s Chosen friends are with Jyou and Ken, whom she frequently works with.  But Taichi spends time at her apartment to see Koushiro, and the unique troubles he faces tug at Eimi’s heartstrings.  Koushiro is somewhat alarmed when she takes on an almost motherly attitude towards his Chosen leader and upperclassman- Eimi talks to Taichi in ways that Koushiro wouldn’t dare to (unsolicited advice/kind-hearted nagging)!   Taichi grumbles about it, but enjoys being doted on.

I think this was my favorite prompt so far!!!!! 

[rapeculturerealities]

Apparently your Nathan Pyle post is mostly made up lies? Like he made one post in 2017, but is anti-Trump, pro BLM and MeToo etc. There's something really off about digging into someone's past to try and find stuff to fuck with their reputation. Also, it's possible to separate creation from creator. We don't need to be more careful about what we reblog, we need to be more careful about believing random tumblr posts.

Ok.

So the link that I posted stated one fact about Pyle, easily verifiable.  No lies. 

And this is the last time I’m going to address it because I’m getting super sick of dealing with it. 

The post has, as of my writing this, almost 38,000 notes/comments.  Most of them are angry screeds decrying “callout culture”.  It’s a whole lot of manufactured rage and holier-than-though copypasta saying the same things over and over:

“it was TWO WHOLE YEARS AGO”  “here’s a bunch of progressive stuff he’s done that negates it”“you’re just being petty/trivial”“Why can’t you separate the artist from the art?  It doesn’t really matter”

The thing about shitting all over the so-called “call out culture” of the post is that it takes an immense amount of privilege.  And as with most hand-wringing over call out culture, it reserves the benefit of the doubt for the privileged.  Seeing a pattern?  

People who are DAILY watching men make decisions about their bodies, men who will NEVER have to deal with the ramifications of the laws they are enacting, say that they find it unsettling that Pyle supported the March for Life, a group that believes that we should not be allowed to make decisions about our own bodies once we become pregnant.  A group that would deny us basic human rights.  

Suddenly our hesitancy means we’re just a bunch of bitches with an ax to grind.  Why can’t we just IGNORE that he was fairly recently vocally supportive of a movement that aims to deny us bodily autonomy?  I mean, REALLY.  Apparently we’re all just being a big bunch of hypocrite babies because we can’t enjoy his comics knowing he doesn’t think we are capable of making decisions about our own bodies

In the comments of the post, he’s already gotten the full throated support of so many. A fake fucking comic someone made in response to his anti abortion views that CLEARLY SAYS "altered from Nathan Pyle" at the bottom has been used in the comments to exonerate him by people who can't read. He’s got a whole redemption narrative, though he’s never actually addressed his original statement.  In fact, his followup was strangely careful not to mention it at all even though it was the very thing that seemed to make him think a statement of any kind was required.  He gets the benefit of the doubt.  He gets thousands of people DEMANDING he be treated with kindness and common decency.  

We who have skin in the game get death threats and name calling.  Don’t we deserve an outpouring of understanding and compassion? The reproductive rights debate isn’t just a fun thought experiment to pass the time for us.  What’s happening in states all over the US is that we’re seeing our rights to our bodies and lives being strategically written out of existence.  But we don’t get a pass.  We’re just being hysterical over nothing, if the comments on the post are to be believed.

Simply questioning whether or not we personally want to continue to support a man who doesn’t support our rights as human beings has somehow made us worthy of the faux outrage and pearl clutching that is going on.   

That’s by design.  It’s a tactic meant to silence the vulnerable and uphold the status quo via gaslighting and shouting us down.  

I never said Pyle should be canceled.  As I said in my last post about this, I simply shared information.  And the reason I shared it is precisely BECAUSE he’s so otherwise progressive.   And everything he’s done to earn the golden ally card y’all are so HAPPY to hand out to him doesn’t negate the fact that he hasn’t clarified his views.  And now all we’re left with is the fact that very recently, he openly supported the movement that’s turning us into chattel before our very eyes.  

So no, it’s not digging something up to slander him.   People can use the information available to make their own decisions about if and how they support him.  But when it comes to believing my body belongs to me, I can’t separate content from creator. Asking me to do so just proves that you are privileged enough that you can afford to treat the issue so casually.  

YOU need to be more careful.   To read the whole article.  To listen to vulnerable voices.  And not to get carried away because mobs with torches and pitchforks told you to be angry at vulnerable groups asking for respect. I know it’s fun to act like you’re above it all, but all it really shows is how little you think of our humanity.

-Spider

[vroenis]

The 2019 Charlie’s Angels Reboot Was A Good Project & Deserved More Respect From Hollywood

We’ve just finished watching the film and there was a lot both J and I really enjoyed about it. We’re critical of media and art in different ways and I certainly don’t speak for them, as for me, oddly I’m lenient in ways that they probably aren’t when it comes to production and culture. I don’t have to dive too deeply into the cultural response to this picture to know how it went down, I’ve come into contact with just enough of it to have a clear understanding of the popular digest. The response is not at all unexpected, it’s just uninformed.

I feel that the 2019 (year of publishing) Charlie’s Angels reboot was a good project with a wonderful spirit. Elizabeth Banks’ aims were clearly evident in the final product, however it may have been shaped along the way, and that it was under-served in the production process likely from the very beginning.

This casting is fantastic.

I do wish there were better cast-ensemble promos for me to lift from the internet and wonder whether that’s another telltale sign of production or whether the heat has just faded since release and they’ve just dropped out of the archives but I struggled to find well composed images.

The first short sizzle-teaser I ever saw for the film, I thought was quite good. Neckbeards and mouthbreathers won’t have paused for a second thought before launching hate for the project - anything in the most vague proximity of feminism or empowerment of women, or even simply just not being centred around men - will be enough to bring snide internet snark by the truckload. It remains interesting that men continue to struggle to live in a world where there can be things that also exist that are not for them, they cannot simply let these other things also exist without contributing in some way. As it were, the project looked good. Sharp, clever, playful, and a timely reboot reclaimed in the most contemporary way. When I looked up the production details and found out Banks was championing it herself, I really took an interest in it. As the first full trailers released, the casting looked great - genuinely diverse and with real chemistry, I hoped it would find the audience it was looking for.

J and I have had a lot going on in our lives over the last two years and still do. We’ve gone to theatres I think twice in that whole time, maybe three times and I think two of those were gift certificates generously paid for by family. So tonight we finally got around to watching Charlie’s Angels. If we’d seen this in theatres, I’d have still be satisfied and had the same evaluation.

A production budget of $55 million is low-balling a project of this scope; 

There seems to have been a bit of pre-production shuffling and Banks did a lot of wrangling herself early on. 

The whole shoot front to back was just over two months and I assume three countries, US/or studio inclusive. 

CGI is noticeably subpar but not exactly cheap either, so it still would have cost a significant portion of that prod. budget. When I say subpar, the CG in this film isn’t bad, please don’t take that criticism as overly negative of the CG artists’ work - remember that people do the best they can with the time and money they’re afforded. If you want to understand what that’s all about, I encourage you to watch Corridor Crew’s channel on YouTube.

Combat choreography with principle actors isn’t great, there’s far too much editing but again, I’m betting there wasn’t a whole lot of money and thus time for training and rehearsing for them, so combat is noticeably slow. 

2nd Unit photography looked very good because this kind of thing is very old-school Hollywood in that it contributes to what makes an action/spy movie look like one. Unfortunately, that means it was also expensive. We’re really running out of money here...

There is a lot of licensed music in this feature which isn’t cheap at all. Again this feels super old-school Hollywood and definitely demographic targeting, but it firmly timestamps the feature - any film, really - and unless your film is about capturing the essence of the time IT WAS THE 80′s! or FOLK FESTIVALS JUST BEFORE COVID BROKE OUT as an example of not necessarily wanting to capture the past, I really think trying to nail down pop songs of the hot present ultimately does your film a disservice.

And I’ll address that one first because I feel like it may have been one of the easiest changes to make to lift the overall quality of the picture. Instead of burning thru an immense amount of budget on a pile of pop licenses, I think a calculated risk could have been taken in getting a young contemporary musician to create a slick electronic score in its entirety to back it along side the generic orchestral action fare, no disrespect to Brian Tyler. To be honest, Tyler probably could have done it all himself but was also probably just writing to spec. BUT HEY... WHY NOT SCOUT FOR ANY NUMBER OF AMAZING WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE PHENOMENAL ELECTRONIC MUSICIANS AND PRODUCERS what am I talking about it’s Hollywood...

This is what I mean by the project deserving more respect and being under-served. Hollywood doesn’t believe in projects like this, they don’t realise what the project is and why it needs frontier, sincere, good faith hiring and instead under-funds but funds it nevertheless SEE? WE FUNDED IT, WE DID THE GOOD THING, SEE US SUPPORTING THE WIMMINS? WE’RE NOT  SEXISTS YOU CAN’T SAY WE’RE SEXISTS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR FILM oh it didn’t do very well except we didn’t let you make it the way you wanted to make it, we still shackled you to 

THE SAME TERRIBLE HOLLYWOOD TRADITIONS THAT, BY THE WAY, ARE FAILING OUR MANLY MAN MOVIES FULL OF MEN HOLY SHIT THE DEBT-RECOVERY CYCLE IS REALLY DOING A NUMBER ON OUR INVESTORS I SURE HOPE WE DON’T HAVE TOO MANY CONSECUTIVE FAILURES OR, SAY, SOME KIND OF GLOBAL CATASTROPHIC AND/OR ECONOMIC EVENT HAND-WRINGING

ahem where was I

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross provided the entire soundtrack for The Social Network and it’s both fantastic and timeless. OK oranges and refrigerators, but the principle still stands - I get the intent of Charlie’s Angels was a summer blockbuster but it would have still been elevated by being all the more slick having its own identity in music, having its own sound. You want that soundtrack by that amazing young woman because it sounds fucken awesome.

Charlie’s Angels still needed a few passes by a dialogue editor. I say that a lot. I know my standards are high and it’s a Hollywood film. There’s no problem at all with the vernacular, idioms and the casual language, that was all fine. It’s always just the little details - again, it’s always time and money which - really is just money. A good dialogue editor or script supervisor might have been able to just elevate this whole thing to that super-smooth level of flowing just right. Or perhaps if the actors had spent more time in training and combat rehearsal together, they’d have riffed better and improvised more. They still have good on-screen chemistry but again, more time - more money for time - and things improve.

If you don’t know my taste in film, you could see if you recognise anything in the Film Notes page of this journal, but it’s totally OK if you don’t. Basically most of them are long and boring, with super long takes of people not saying or doing much. I still love Hollywood films tho - I love all cinema and I’ll repeat like a broken record, I should either add a section to Film Notes of my favourite blockbusters or create a page for them. Anyway - Charlie’s Angels still has too much editing mostly due to the aforementioned combat, but also because of that good old Hollywood formulaic style-guide. It’s easy to look up the production credits and pluck out names but on a project like this, it’s difficult to pin the end result on the roles themselves. In these cases, personnel like editors are more like daily jobs rather than creative contributors which again is an immense shame. I catch myself before saying “It doesn’t have to be a Malick/Shortland/Lynch project...” but why not? Why can’t a summer blockbuster have its own fantastic identity? General audiences can identify Michael Bay and Christopher Nolan - sure, one or perhaps both of these people take themselves far too seriously, but why not let a project have its own identity?

We run back into the conversation of protecting investments and style guides.

The easy answer to Bay and Nolan is they’re men, but they’ve also had time to prove their worth over time with previous work and track record. Because they’ve had the privilege to do so. Because they’re men. And most of the people making decisions and letting them experiment and sometimes fail to recover investment on their projects and hey, don’t worry, just try again, are men - and they were permitted to try again because they were themselves men.

Whether individual men do or don’t deserve whatever they did or didn’t get, I’m not here to discuss. Many of them definitely didn’t and I can’t change it.

What we should be changing is how we finance, how we empower and how we hand over autonomy of projects to women in cinema, in the arts - in professional life, in any industry.

YOU DON’T KNOW THE DETAILS OF THIS PROJECT

So. Fucking. What.

I can make educated guesses and I can support as much as possible as fair and equitable an arts industry wherever I engage with it.

I really liked Charlie’s Angels. It had a lot of heart. It had a wonderful sense of play and sass and smarts. Yes, a few too many “why didn’t they just shoot the bad guy” moments etc. - again - script reviews, better writers, more time...

More money.

More respect from an industry that doesn’t respect women and women’s autonomy; social, professional, in all aspects.

I hope Elizabeth Banks wants to make another one, can raise the finances for it and has even more control of the next project. More power to her.

[camillemontespan]

unfiltered [drake walker interview/his POV]

@jovialyouthmusic​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @pug-bitch​ @sirbeepsalot​ @emichelle​ @dcbbw​ @katedrakeohd​ @burnsoslow​ @ibldw-main​ @moonlightgem7​ @gardeningourmet​ @saivilo​ @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld​ @pedudley​ @notoriouscs​ @mskaneko​ @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat​ @sawyer0akleyscowboyhat​

                  ***************************************************

In total honesty, I said that I would never be interviewed by Duke Magazine again. A few months ago, I was interviewed by one of the their journalists who proceeded to insult me, make derogatory comments about my wife and generally just made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

I walked out of the interview.

Bad idea? Probably. The following article was negative. But after speaking to my wife, who encouraged me to ride through it, I felt proud that I stood up for my family.

I swore I wouldn't appear in a page of Duke Magazine again. So what changed?

The editor, who I actually respect, contacted me to ask if I wanted to write my own piece. 'Write about you,' Matthew said. 'Write honestly. Show yourself to the world as you want to be seen.'

So here we go. I'm sat in my study, my daughter Lily is playing on the floor as she keeps me company, and I have an empty word document on my laptop ready to be written.

This is me. Unfiltered, unedited, me.

The Restraining Order

I guess I should start by writing about the restraining order I obtained against the paparazzi. This is, to date, the most controversial thing I have done during my occupation as the Duke of Valtoria.

I can't believe it's even seen as controversial so I'm going to explain why I did it. Maybe then the critics can finally agree that I did the right thing.

Everyone knows I'm a family man. I want to keep my wife and children safe and this was under threat one year ago.

Camille was being stalked on a daily basis. Photographers would chase after her on the street and surround her car, which understandably terrified her. Camille always tries to put a brave face on things but I often saw the exhausted look on her face. I would offer to do something but she would shrug and say, 'This comes with the territory of being a Duke and Duchess.'

I went along with that until one day, a photographer took a picture of my five year old in the school playground and that was it for me.

To actively stalk a five year old child - hell, any child - is disgusting.

We always said we would raise our kids to have normal upbringings. Yes, they experience privilege on another level but we make sure that Lily is brought up to see everyone as equals. We want her to have a normal childhood.

When her face was plastered on the front page of the Cordonian Herald, she looked at it and asked, 'Daddy, why am I on the newspaper?'

Damn right I called the newspaper and demanded that circulation of that issue stop. They laughed and said there was no point, it was already out. So, I went one better and contacted the best lawyer in Cordonia.

There was outrage. The paparazzi argued that as we are public figures, we should expect to be photographed.

Two words for that: fuck you.

We may be public figures but we did not sign up to be stalked. My daughters did not come into this world asking for that kind of attention. We are the best Duke and Duchess we can be, in regards to charities and making a difference. We work fucking hard. Despite that, we are not duty bound to let photographers take our pictures, especially when its through the railings of my daughter's school playground. I refuse to even entertain the idea that Lily should be forced to have her picture taken because of who her parents are. She's a kid.

I've had criticism from people who ask why we still take part in magazine interviews yet have a restraining order against the paparazzi. I can see why it can be misleading but genuinely, we only take part in interviews if we have something to promote, like my mental health charity Mind Over Matter. My children will never grace the pages of Duke, Trend, Vogue or any other magazine because that's not the life I want for them. Simple.

Does it seem like I'm ranting to you? Sorry. This subject just gets me really riled up. I would delete everything I have just written but as I said at the start, this is me unedited and unfiltered. If you don't want to read anymore, by all means, turn the page.

I never said I was polite.

Ugh okay, sorry again. My wife would say that this was me being sassy. Mr Sassy Pants. That's one nickname she calls me. Along with Marshmallow.. We'll unpack all that later.

Camille

I get a shit ton of questions about my wife. I get it, she’s gorgeous, who wouldn’t want to know about her, right? 

We’ve had our fair share of tabloid articles hinting at our ‘marriage being on the rocks’ or ‘trouble in paradise.’ Listen, don’t believe everything you read (apart from this piece obviously). 

Camille and I have had our challenges in the past but what married couple hasn’t? Through it all, we’re a team. We’re Drake and Camille.

Asking her to marry me remains the best decision I ever made. In the Drake Walker Hall of Fame, that will go down in history. I proposed with my grandmother’s ring which is this beautiful blue square topaz. Grammy always told me to keep it for the right girl. ‘The right girl,’ she would tell me, ‘is the one who makes you forget all of those girls that came before her. She will light up your life and make you see how amazing life would be by her side.’ 

She was so fucking right.

Apologies if you think I swear too much by the way. I’m trying to kerb it - I really am, my daughters are like sponges and repeat everything we say. I have a swear jar and more euro than I’d like to admit goes into it..

I asked Camille to marry me because she made me feel all of those things. I used to be the loner at court; the nobody. I stayed in the shadows and hated my life. All I wanted was for someone to see me. The real Drake Walker. I wanted someone to look at me and want to get to know me. 

Camille is the only woman who has done this.

I’m so proud of her. I think that’s a big deal, you know? You gotta feel proud of your partner. The way she learned about the nobility and Cordonia in such a short time is incredible. Looking at her now, when she’s so practiced at her speeches and so good with meeting the public, you wouldn’t think she was born a commoner. She has transcended all expectations. 

I’m also proud of her as a mom. She’s such a good mom! Camille has always wanted a family and seeing her with our girls makes me heart feel full. I watch her play with them, help Lily with homework and read them stories and I just count my lucky stars. I don’t know what I did in a previous life to have this amazing partner but I won’t question it. As I said, I just count my lucky stars.

Lily and Luna

My girls. They may have both inherited their mother’s looks but damn it, they got my smirk. 

Lily is five. She is the most colourful character and she’s mine. She is so girly. She often plays dress up and we watch her totter around the house in Camille’s high heels while carrying Camille’s handbag, shouting that she is going out for brunch. She is always laughing and she is a perfectionist; I’ve never met a kid her age who stays inside the lines when colouring in. 

She is loving, so loving. When we told her she was going to have a little sister, at first she wasn’t happy. Ohh boy. I think she was scared she would lose us as parents to this new human and I made it my mission to help her see that having a sister wasn’t going to take us away from her. I told her that they could be a little team. Afterwards, Lily sat up beside Camille and rested her head on the baby bump, waiting for kicks. When the baby kicked, Lily was delighted. That’s the thing - you got to talk to your kids like they’re people. Don’t treat them like they won’t understand. I sat her down and talked to her about something serious and she listened and understood. 

Now, she dotes on her baby sister. She always asks if she’s had enough milk. She will sit Luna on her lap while they watch Peppa Pig. Seeing her flourish in this role has been a joy to watch. I just hope that when they’re older they’ll keep being friends. I don’t think I could handle teenage screaming and doors slamming. Shudder. That’s something for Future Drake to worry about. Heh, sorry man.

Luna is one. She’s incredibly quiet, which at first was alarming as we were so used to Lily screaming non-stop as a baby, but when we thought about it, we were like: Having a quiet baby is the fucking best! 

She is so observant, constantly looking around with her big brown eyes. I always wish I could see what’s going on inside her head. What are you thinking about, baby girl?

Family Man

Duke may be my official title and job but really, husband and father is the role I love and put above everything else. I guess it’s still a novelty to me? I never imagined myself ever having a family of my own. I assumed I would die alone. I’m Chandler Bing from Friends: ‘I’M GONNA DIE ALONE!’ 

But I didn’t, clearly. So I think that constantly trying to keep my girls happy is just me loving our little unit. I never saw myself getting married and having babies, so I just stay in the moment, enjoying it. 

I take them on camping trips. I taught Lily how to make s’mores which she declared to be the best food she has ever tasted. I taught Camille how to pitch a tent (she’s a city girl, I had to keep reminding myself that). We’re yet to go camping with Luna but I figure wait a few years until it’s just easy. Baby steps.

One of my favourite things to do is take part in Lily’s tea parties. She puts a pink plastic tiara on my head and I sit down on the floor with my knees pulled up to my chest at her tiny tea table. If we’re pushing the boat out, we have actual chocolate milk in the tea cups.   Lily is a hostess like her mom. This is just training for when she holds dinner parties when she’s older and I hope I still get an invite. 

In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a marshmallow when it comes to my family. I know I come across a little grumpy to some people, but seriously, get to know me and I’m a bit of a softie. I love a dad joke (‘I must ask you a question but I shall shave it for later!’) and I do enjoy a romcom sometimes but Jesus, don’t tell Camille or she will constantly be forcing me to watch How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days. 

I’m the classic example of don’t judge a book by its cover. That’s the reason why I’m writing this piece. 

Mind Over Matter

Mind Over Matter started as my mental health campaign which aimed to promote men’s mental health. I wanted to tackle toxic masculinity and I became the figurehead of the campaign. I suffered from depression growing up, as a consequence of my father dying and both my mom and sister leaving without warning. I felt worthless. 

I even felt worthless when I became a Duke. Even though I was married to the most incredible woman and I had this new job, I felt like I didn’t deserve any of it. I doubted myself all the time. I constantly worried I was going to be found out. 

I drank to numb the crippling anxiety. 

Camille stuck with me throughout. She tried so hard to show that I was loved and that I was worthy of this life. 

Eventually, I got help for my drinking. I go to AA meetings once a week in a bid to keep on the straight and narrow. My family keeps me motivated. But I realised that if, this guy with an amazing family and job, could feel worthless, how many more guys are out there who feel the same?

So I started MOM to make a difference. Me, my fellow nobles and men from all over Cordonia meet once a month to take part in outdoor activities like hiking, abseiling, kayaking etc. While we do all this stuff, we talk openly. We talk about our fears and our worries then we get ready to abseil down a cliff. It forces you to place your initial fears in a box, unpack it then jump off the edge.  It’s mind over matter. That’s the whole point.  

We Vlog our activities so anyone can watch what we’re doing and donate to mental health organisations. Now, MOM is a registered charity too, which is crazy, so all proceeds go on to make it a bigger thing. I want it to be the main mental health charity for Cordonia.

Did I ever imagine its success? No. But I’m so fucking proud of what MOM - what I, actually- have accomplished. 

Friends

Magazines like to say that me and King Liam are no longer friends. Bullshit. We are. We just aren’t seen together as much because we’ve both got our own things going on. He’s the fucking King. I’m sorry but if I’m constantly wondering why he’s too busy to respond to my text message, then I need to get a grip. But I don’t do that because I’m his friend and we understand that no matter how much distance we have, everything will be exactly as it was when we next see each other.

I’m really good friends with Liam’s older brother, Leo. You wouldn’t think we would be because we’re so different but he’s a good guy. He’s fun and he has been a huge supporter of Mind Over Matter. Outdoor activities are already his jam so the fact that one of his friends was trying to make a difference made him really get behind it. Hiking with Leo cemented our friendship. 

Leo goes out with Olivia Nevrakis. She is my kid’s godmother and despite how it looks on my Instagram, Olivia and I do get on! Best way to describe it is we have that kind of friendship where you act like you really want to stab each other but if one of you killed someone, the other would be there with a shovel saying, ‘Right, where do you want the body?’

Not that Olivia or I have ever killed someone. I mean, I know I haven’t but Olivia is known to love her daggers so I wouldn’t put it past her. LOVE YOU, LIV!

Future Plans

I’m content with having two children for now but hey, maybe in the future.. Never say never. 

I plan on taking my girls to Texas to see my mom for Christmas. We usually spend all summer in Texas but this year, I’m hoping for an American Christmas. It’s just not the same in Cordonia. We’ve got our little traditions here but it would be nice to make some new ones with my mom. 

Camille is going to be promoting a rehabilitation centre for addicts in the city centre next month and I will be supporting her the whole time. I’m her biggest cheerleader and she’s mine. This won’t be any different. 

I’m excited. I have never felt so content before. A lot can happen in five years. Here’s to the next five. I’ll raise a glass of whiskey to future moments and welcome them with open arms. 

This was me, unedited, unfiltered. I hope I didn’t bore you to tears or make you realise that I’m an asshole who swears too much. Sorry about that. I’ll pop a euro in the swear for ya. But by writing this piece, I hope I’ve shed light on who I actually am, not what some journalist with an agenda thinks of me. I’m not the best guy in the world and I will never claim to be. But I’m human and everyone has their own flaws. The best we can do is just work on them and be proud of who we are, no matter what. 

Got to submit this now. Lily’s getting restless which means endless episodes of Peppa Pig now. You know what? This makes me happy.

[kihyunswrath]

about monsta x sasaengs

fellow monbebes i just read kimchitokki’s twitter and i’m fucking pissed and there’s just one thing I want to say about it and that’s the tl;dr: i know it upsets you but do not take her words seriously like for real

like. the chances of her having a normal job and then still finding out a PLENTY of private info about several groups at once, following them all around the world and literally breaking into their houses without ending up in jail? slim. sure she might follow the groups around, she might be wasting all her life and money on stalking them, like i don’t doubt it for a second that she pushes her miserable ass wherever she can get and that mx members would like to throw up at the sight of her, but that’s literally why she has turned to all of you guys to fund her lifestyle. that shit’s expensive.

she with 100% certainty pulls stuff out of her ass to make money and continue her abusive behavior. why else would she be so generous sharing them juicy bits about idols’ private “personalities”, their unhealthy habits, fights they’ve had and same-sex relationships, exes and idk, next she probably claims she knows what color their underwear is every given day? think about it. she writes about it in the most public platform possible, both in korean and english? if she has such an easy access to all that and is actually sharing their private info in exchange for profit, starship has been so careless about their privacy that she wouldn’t be the only one knowing about this stuff. meaning none of those things would be secrets at this point. we would all know. 

her lack of empathy, kindness, reason, intellect and sanity is one thing, but it’s another thing that people literally fund her because they think they truly need to find out if and who mx members are dating or if they... like, whatever, smoke?

like for real. most of her replies are so dumb, sweeping generalizations that i could also write similar replies. i have common sense, i have been a fan of mx for a long time and i have studied korean ent industry for years. but i’m not asking for money because i’m not a dipshit, so whatever, here’s my helpful replies to the most burning questions we all want to know! for free! so you don’t have to go ask her the same things and pay for lies!

1) are they in a relationship? of course they have or have had relationships, they are people. just most likely less often than people would like to believe, given their lack of time to do fucking anything but dance/practice/perform themselves to early grave. yes, with 99% certainty at least some of them are dating right as we speak. yes, most likely at least one of them is gay/bisexual/etc. because statistically speaking, that’s just plausible. none of us fans will ever end up with them, so we should be happy if they ever get to date anyone - that means they’ll be happier and receive extra energy and inspiration and will be taken care of. if you trust and love mx members, you can also trust the people they have chosen. and in the extremely unlikely case one of you would end up dating one of them: it still doesn’t matter what they are choosing to do with their lives right now. 

2) are they dating idols, fans, foreigners? lol who’d be able to provide for them the best? most likely people who they can... like. meet more often than once a year, who understand their daily struggles, who aren’t pisspoor - and given the idol industry standards they’ve gotten used to over the years, they most likely will also be attractive people around their age. so most likely not fans, nor foreigners. and most likely not that random idol you’re thinking of. 99% of the time it’s someone you’ve literally never heard of.  

3) do they smoke? do they use drugs? do they drink alcohol? probably, probably, yes. like for real, these people sleep 0-5 hours per night and are constantly expected to look, sound and seem absofuckinglutely stunning and spotless. it shouldn’t be humanly possible, and perhaps it isn’t. they’ll use shortcuts, whatever those might be, and consuming unhealthy stuff is like. one of those.

4) and the previous point includes plastic surgery and other body modifications/injections/meso threads/expensive treatments. mx has money, plastic surgeries are common practice, plastic surgeons are good at what they’re doing, and idols are literal representatives of that whole industry. plastic surgery wouldn’t be nearly as big of a business in korea without hallyu.

5) do they end up fighting sometimes? yes, just like everyone else. could their personal ways of handling arguments get in the way of fixing stuff? obviously. could it sometimes take time for them to recover from fights, breakups, disagreements, leading them to appear unhappy for a period of time? yes, that’s life. could one of the members be less familiar/close with someone else within the group? again, yes, that’s more likely than not. could one of them be somewhat distant with everyone within the group? let’s be real. they have other friends too, life outside of this job. they might grow distant at times and focus on themselves/their other friends more. or they might not want to hang out with each other very often outside of schedules. it also has absolutely nothing to do with us. it doesn’t benefit any of us to learn whether they have been fighting about something. as long as they don’t explicitly express their concerns, we can assume things are going just fine. they don’t need to be absolutely best best friends in order to still enjoy working together - and yet, them fighting and having disagreements is not a sign of them not being best best friends, so there’s that too.

6) could they be sick or having a dangerous diet? yes, probably one of them is sick right now, or recovering. being an idol is a very unhealthy job in itself, plus people do tend to get sick from time to time. we can offer them our constant support, care and love and ask them how they are doing, we can ask them to get more rest and keep eating well. but that’s all. they have their own support network who truly know what’s going on in their lives, and there’s nothing more we could do either way. and despite their unhealthy job, they are all young, physically active and have an access to good medical treatment, so the chances of them dying all of a sudden without us having the slightest clue is like. almost nonexistent. 

7) are they different behind cameras? well idk what do you think? do they pick their noses, examine the gunk they found and eat it afterwards when they’re alone? do they have farting competitions? do they scratch their balls and continue their day without washing their hands? do they have explosive diarrhea and pimples they pop in front of the mirror? do you think there would be a horrible stench coming out of their mouths in the morning? yes to all of those questions and all the others i didn’t list but we were all thinking of nonetheless. they are probably much less friendly, considerate, cheerful or tactful in real life. they might be, like, not even the smartest or nicest people you could imagine, because they’re human beings, and that’s ok. they’re already doing more than they ever needed to, and nothing so far has indicated that they are actually evil people in real life. 

8) are they going to enlist or disband soon?  monsta x is literally doing better than any other group starship ever had. they’re doing better than 90% of other kpop groups. starship staff would probably rather cut their own heads off rather than disband mx (before everything is sucked out of them). having said that, shownu has to enlist next year, and the 93-liners will join the year after, so obviously that means the remaining members will have to focus on solo stuff and such. but that most likely will be a breath of fresh air to them, since they no longer have to be so hyper-focused on those insanely tight world-tour schedules. maybe they’ll finally have more time to be creative, learn new skills and produce more carefully constructed stuff. so even though it’ll be sad for us fans, it also has good consequences.

and like i’ve said 1000 times before: be happy for whatever monsta x or any other kpop group decides to do, because they quite literally did not have to do it. they are full human beings who are doing this because they wanted to. because they decided to see the effort and work through all the hardships. they owe us nothing. they don’t have to do anything for us. their public presence is a bonus, a gift, an additional benefit, an extra perk we have a privilege to see and enjoy. we gave them their success, our money and our time, but that was our own decision. they can decide to quit and walk away whenever, no explanations needed. they can change the course of their careers and do things differently, and there’s nothing we can do about that. we can only be thankful for whatever content, whatever glimpses of their life we could see, and we have absolutely 0 right to ask for more. 

__________

so there. everyone buying information from kimchitokki or even considering doing that: please stop. even if she was right about everything, which she obviously isn’t, you’re supporting a psychopath who isn’t capable of loving anyone but herself. she doesn’t support monsta x - she’s the one causing them illnesses, depression and stress. she’s a fucking gross disease and needs to waltz straight into jail.