#you don't have to do it if you don't want to as always
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you guys???? when did this get 30k this is insane hello?????? for the sake of the post length i’m putting my ramblings in tags but like. WOW. i don’t comprehend it fully tbh but i’m infinitely grateful nonetheless. holy
as a thank you here’s a bunch of doodles i did during the making of this! tysm for enjoying my silly 15s animation <3
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animation of jimmy getting owned in real life
bonus gif of him celebrating i made for funsies :] oh the oblivious bliss...
#if it wasn’t clear the 2nd last photo is a ref of their default mouth shapes! wanted them each to have different smiles :]#anyways yes rambles. YOU GUYS…..#for a lil context that i’m not sure if i mentioned before-#i actually got wrist pain for weeks and a (very low and short dw) fever bc i was working a lot to meet the deadline for this#but i really loved doing this. i’ve always wanted to animate something properly to a standard i'm happy with#and it being for something i love and something that would make people laugh#so for my top post to be this? and seeing people leaving comments and tags (i've read all of them btw!) noticing the refs-#pointing out the little details... some of yall don't even know what mcyt IS and yet you sat down to watch this?? replaying it even??#aimsey and jimmy having seen this asw????#what im trying to say is. the support and all means so so much to me. i can't express how much i appreciate people taking the time to watch#and even leave comments on the stuff that they liked#thank you seems short lmao but just know im very blown away. imagine me clutching my head jaw on floor#SORRY IF THIS IS TOO SAPPY. FOR A 15s CLIP. WORDS ARE SO HARD MAN
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Imagine Ghost accidentally conditioning the 141...
Ghost is busy. Always. Too much paperwork, too many reports, too many logistics to handle before training. It’s 1400 before he realizes he’s skipped lunch. Again.
Not a big deal. Not the first time. Won’t be the last.
But he is hungry.
His eyes land on the bright pink bag of Valentine’s Day mini Snickers that’s been sitting, untouched, on his desk for a week. They were part of a bulk shipment to the base; some gift or something.
Not exactly lunch. But it’ll do.
He grabs the bag and heads for the training field. He’s two minutes late, not that it matters much because Soap and Gaz already have the unit ready.
"Where’s Price?" he asks, tearing open the bag as he walks up.
"Got pulled away. You’ve got this one, Sir," Gaz replies, raising a brow as Ghost lifts his mask just enough to pop a Snickers into his mouth.
Ghost doesn’t react, just grunts.
Today’s drill is a simple infiltration exercise. Hell, it's something Ghost or Price hardly have to be here for. Their presence would be more of a formality. Gaz leads the attackers. Soap leads the defenders. The teams get ten minutes to plan, to prep.
And then Ghost sounds the time up, and the groups move.
Ghost watches, leaning against a crate, chewing another Snickers, barely paying attention to one of the new guys—until the kid steps right into a trap. Ghost sees it before he does.
Blue powder erupts into his face.
Soap’s defenders descend, but the kid doesn’t go down easily. Blind, but still fighting back, holding his own until his team pulls him out.
Soap's team wins. Barely.
When it’s over, the teams regroup. Ghost is still eating Snickers.
He turns to the recruit, still dusted blue.
"What 'appened?"
"Didn’t see the wire." The kid shifts uncomfortably.
Ghost turns to the unit. "Who set it?"
One of the defenders raises a hand. Ghost considers him for a moment before reaching into the bag.
He tosses a mini-Snickers at the soldier.
The guy catches it. Looks at it. Looks at Ghost. Eats it.
Ghost turns back to the newbie. "Held your own. Tha' matters. Surprises happen. Don’t let ‘em get you again."
And that’s it. Training’s dismissed. Ghost pockets the rest of the Snickers and moves on.
...
The next day, Price is still gone. Ghost doesn’t skip lunch this time, but he still brings the Snickers bag.
They run the same drill.
Same recruit. Same route. But this time, he checks everything. Quick. Efficient. Finds the wire. Disarms it.
No blue powder today.
Gaz’s team wins.
Ghost eyes the recruit and flicks a Snickers at him. The kid catches it mid-air.
...
By the end of the week, Price is still gone. Ghost keeps the pink bag of Snickers on him during training. Like it's just another part of his kit.
One or two mini snickers get handed out every session. And nobody really notices at first. But the team starts moving differently.
They work harder. Smarter. More ruthless. More efficient. No one wants to be the guy who doesn’t get a Snickers.
Even the veterans sharpen their tactics. Gaz and Soap notice. But no one says a damn thing. If Ghost is going to give them snickers, then shut the gel up and let him give them snickers.
...
They're sent on a mission. High stakes.
They don't lose a single man. Not a single injury.
At the end of it, back on their transport home, Ghost pulls the pink danm bag from some unassuming pocket and hands out the snickers.
The men take them without question. They earned it.
But Ghost is running low. The bag nearly empty.
...
At the next training, Ghost doesn't hand out a single snickers. Not on purpose, but the bag is empty, so there's nothing left to do.
But the others notice. Gaz squints. Soap looks like a confused dog. Head tilt and all. The newbies glance at each other, shifting.
...
Two days later, Ghost swings his door open at 0600 sharp—and pauses.
Sitting just outside his door, neat as you please, is a bag of mini Snickers. Not the Valentine’s ones anymore. Just regular.
Ghost blinks. Hums. Pleasantly surprised, he picks up the bag, inspecting it briefly before stuffing it into his tac vest like it’s just another piece of gear.
He doesn’t think much of it. It’s a good snack.
At training, he does as he always does. Watches. Observes. Evaluates.
And then, without thinking, he tosses a Snickers at a recruit who clears a building faster than expected.
He snaps to attention as he catches it, eyes shining. Ghost does not question it.
The pattern continues.
And when he starts running low, Ghost finds a fresh bag of Snickers waiting for him.
Somebody—somewhere—has decided that the Snickers will not run out.
...
At training, at drills, in the field, there is a silent expectation. A new, unspoken rule. Do something exceptional? Get a Snickers.
The machine of the 141—the deadliest operators in the world—now snaps to attention at the crinkle of plastic.
They move with a ruthless kind of precision, bodies coiled, eyes sharp—waiting, anticipating.
Even Gaz and Soap are part of it now—though everyone refuses to acknowledge it outright.
But the moment Ghost hands one of his men a Snickers, he takes it.
Silently. Gratefully. Like a goddamn reward.
Ghost does not acknowledge this. Not out loud. But he keeps handing them out.
And they keep earning them.
They'd quite literally kill for a Snickers. (imagine what they'd do for an expensive piece of chocolate)
...
And then Price comes back three weeks later. He walks into the training area and pauses.
Something is off.
The unit is too sharp. Too focused. The newbies stand stock still in their group, as if waiting for something.
Gaz and Soap exchange a look. Soap refuses to meet Price’s eyes.
But he doesn't acknowledge it, until he begins unwrapping a plastic sleeve holding a new pen. The plastic is thick and loud. And half of their fucking head snaps his way. The hungry eyes of three dozen of soldiers latching on him.
Ghost, standing at the edge of the group, tears open a fresh bag of Snickers.
And now the entire fucking unit reacts. Subtle shifts in stance. Focused attention. Expectant silence.
Price squints. Frowns.
Ghost flicks a Snickers at a recruit. He earned it today.
The recruit catches it like it’s a holy offering and eats it immediately.
Price’s frown deepens. Slowly, carefully, he turns to Ghost. “The fuck did I miss?”
#This is me writing instead of taking notes in class#simon ghost riley#cod#tf 141#call of duty#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#Call of duty#They're all so fuckin silly#Happy Friday eve#cod mw2
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things I've been learning since moving out of my (abusive) family home:
if you immediately stop having rage spirals that make you feel ashamed to be alive the moment you stop being around someone, they were probably the problem the whole time
having boundaries doesn't make you selfish. wanting to stop talking to your family doesn't make you selfish. you don't need to be grateful for what they did for you
you're probably not the worst person to exist. or the most worthless. or fundamentally awful. you're probably not the best either. chances are you're just normal. surprisingly hard to come to terms with this
if people offer to take care of you, it doesn't always mean they're saving it up as a reason to manipulate you later. sometimes people just want to help. and it's Good to let them do that
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I have very bad not at all good news considering my Good Omens stuff. This morning, I got a email that every fan artist dreads.
This letter includes 80+ pages of screenshots from my Ko-fi, printshops, and socials, even my Twitter header, where I simply listed my main fandoms.
They’ve also demanded to delete all the freebies: PDF version of Ineffable Affirmations and wallpaper packs (not sure how free/donate stuff violates IP, but that's what they say).
I will have to comply with these demands — if they start any legal process, it would be absolutely catastrophic.
They also have the right to block or deactivate my social media for IP infringement, which would be basically a starvation sentence for me and my family, so I don't have any other options.
Yes, I should have seen it coming — it was always a grim possibility. But right now is quite literally the worst time to get a letter like this. I had planned to gradually shift toward creating more original content, but the war and forced emigration disrupted everything.
When we suddenly lost all our sources of income, I had to stick back to drawing mostly fanart. Basically the tiny amount of money I got from Ko‑fi and occasional commissions, was all our means for survival these years.
All this time, we’ve been trying to find a safer place to live — an incredibly difficult process with Russian passports. And just yesterday, we got an invitation to apply for a long stay French visa.
The cruel irony of it all...
Honestly, I am shaken and trying not to fall into despair.
If we get these visas, we will have to move in April, which means we’ll need A LOT of money for tickets, rent, transporting our stuff, and who knows what else. If you ever moved between countries, you can imagine that.
I was hoping our Ko‑fi and the new projects we planned for this year would make it possible. But now, we have to delete most of the shop and cancel half of the projects we were working on.
I’m very scared, and have no idea what to do now.
I have to remove everything before March 9th.
Tomorrow, I’ll set the lowest possible prices on all our GO items. If you wanted something from these collections, this will be literally the last chance.
Please, please tell me everything is going to be okay 😰
#good omens#bad news#ineffable husbands#good omens fanart#crowley#aziraphale#my fanart#aziracrow#good omens artists#warning#terry pratchett#artists on tumblr
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lmao okay... filipina! gf having a petty shouting match with bf! katsuki and cussing each other out in each other's languages.
the argument started over something stupid—so stupid you couldn't even remember how it began. but now? now, you were pissed.
"hoy, ikaw! akala mo porket pogi ka kaya mo kong bastusin?! (hey, you! do you think that just because you're hot that means you can insult me?!)" you snapped, jabbing a finger into his chest.
katsuki, never one to back down, fired right back in japanese. "kimi wa boku o okora seru nda yo, wakarudaro? itsumo sono kawaii kao de ki o magirawasu nda! (you piss me off, you know that? always distracting me with that pretty fucking face!)"
you weren’t even sure if he fully understood what you were saying, and you definitely weren’t catching all his rapid-fire japanese insults, but that didn’t stop either of you from cussing (possibly flirting) each other out in your own languages.
"para kang tangang sakit sa ulo na may abs! kung hindi ka lang gwapo, sinuntok na sana kita! (youre like a stupid headache with abs! if you weren’t so hot, i’d have punched you by now!)"
"ore wa hontōni mendōna sonzaida! demo... kuso, ore wa boku ga imamade deatta naka de mottomo mendōna sonzaida! (you’re such a pain in my ass! but... fuck, you’re the prettiest pain in the ass i’ve ever had!)"
neither of you were backing down. your voices clashed like thunder, both of you stubborn as hell, and honestly? if anyone walked in, they’d think you hated each other.
"oi.-kun ga utsukushīkara to itte, kimi ga itte iru koto o watashi ga rikai dekiru wakede wa nai yo.' (hey. just because youre beautiful, it doesn't mean i understand a fucking word youre saying.)" his jaw clenched, eyes blazing.
"ulol! (idiot!)" you shot back, arms flailing in frustration. "hindi kita maintindihan pero alam kong gago ka! pogi o hindi! (i don't understand you but i know you're an ass! handsome or not!)"
katsuki scoffed, stepping in closer, his voice dropping into something lower, more dangerous. "kuso, `chikatte iukedo, kimi ga nani o itte mo mechakucha shitsureina ndaroukedo, demo, kimi ga boku ni donatte iru toki no kuchibiru wa ī kanjida yo.' (fuck, i swear, whatever the fuck you’re saying is probably rude as hell, but damn, your lips look good when you’re yelling at me.)"
oh, hell no. (whatever the hell that meant.)
"ay, gago, ano sinabi mo?! pakyu! bahala ka dyan! maghanap ka ng ibang aawayin mo! ayoko na sa'yo—! (oh, you asshole, what did you say?! fuck you! suit yourself! find someone else to fight with! i don't want you anymore—!)"
before you could finish, his hands were on you—hot, firm, relentless, gripping your waist and yanking you forward.
katsuki grabbed you, his lips slamming onto yours with an intensity that stole the air from your lungs. you barely had time to react before your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling just as fiercely.
the kiss was all heat, teeth, and frustration—his tongue sliding against yours in a battle neither of you wanted to lose. the argument was already forgotten, who the hell cared what you were fighting about when this was so much better?
you tugged at his shirt, fisting the fabric, pouring all your irritation and want into the way your lips moved against his, biting on his bottom lip. he groaned, one hand sliding up to cup the back of your neck, pulling, tilting your head just the way he wanted.
you gasped into his mouth, and he used that opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue pressing against yours like he was still trying to win.
it was messy. angry. hot.
his hands roamed, gripping, kneading, staking his claim as if trying to prove his point without words. your back hit the nearest surface—maybe the wall, maybe the counter, you didn’t care—and katsuki pressed into you, lips never leaving yours. his breath was ragged, matching yours, and when you nipped at his bottom lip, he growled, gripping your thigh and hoisting you up.
"still mad?" he murmured against your mouth, voice low and rough as you wrapped your legs around him.
you tugged at his hair, making him hiss. “oh, now you wanna use your mouth for something other than yelling at me?”
he scoffed, fingers digging into your waist. “tch. big talk for someone who was just moaning in two languages.”
you scoffed, shoving at his chest (not that it did anything, because he was built like a damn wall). “excuse me?”
he grinned, lips brushing against yours. “nah, you’re not excused.”
and then he used his mouth the other way he knew how—by kissing you stupid.
‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ used google translate for katsuki unfortunately🤕 lmk if any of the translations are wrong, and i hope you guys enjoyed!! inspired by @ch3rryjampi3's comment in my recent filo fic💜💜
#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo mha#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#mha#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou#bnha#bakugou fluff#mha fluff#bnha fluff#fluff#bakugo fluff#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#bakugou katsuki#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou x you#katsuki bakugo x reader#mha bakugo x reader#bakugo#mha imagines#bnha drabble#bnha x reader#mha x reader
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Hey! Can you make a hc of the batboys with their S/O getting wasted and claiming they have a boyfriend when they are their boyfriend. Thanks
You're Drunk & Telling Them You Have a Boyfriend
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Dick: "Uh, Uh. Get your slimy hands off me, Miiissster...I know karracheee." You slurred your words as he held you up in his arms to get you to the limo, maybe drinking so much at the gala was a bad idea. You made what your drunk self believes is karate hands at him.
"Wow, Karache? Really?" He laughs as he slowly lowers you into the limo onto the long seat.
"You'll seee...you'lll seeee I promise." You slurred as you rolled over face down into the long leather seat.
"Oh no, I'm sure I will, Pumpkin."
"Who you callin' pump-e-kin? Thats- I- Onllyyyy my boyfren allowed to call me that." You said a bit aggressively; it was like a baby bunny trying to take on a lion: attack = a hundred, damage = zero. You quickly fell asleep. The booze got to you, and when you got home, he had to remove you from the seat, your face red where the leather stuck to your face. He unzipped and pulled your dress off and your shoes and let you go to bed before kissing your head.
"G'Night, Pump-E-Kin." He teased you even though you couldn't hear it. "Pump-E-Kin." He whispered to himself with a huge grin before heading to the shower.
Jason: "Ohhhhhh, slow your roll, Muchachos. I got a boyfriend." You said as you waved your finger in Jason's face when his fingers even grazed your hips.
"Oh, yeah, who's this boyfriend? Tell me about him." He so badly wanted to know what drunk you would say about him considering he's never seen you drunk before.
"He kicks names, takes asses." You giggle, not even noticing or thinking for a millisecond that you said that phrase wrong.
"He takes asses? Is that what happened to yours?" Jason was always quick with it and it was even more fun with the idea that you were drunk.
"Hey, that's not nice. I'm gonna tell my boyfriend." You huffed like a cute angry kitten.
"Oh, yes. Please do tell your boyfriend. I'd love to know this boyfriend." He was making the most out of this moment; he'd cherish this forever and tease you just as long.
"Jay-son" You sounded it out as you went to call Jason, slowly scrolling through your phone. "Jay-son" You kept scrolling.
"You got a picture of this Jason?"
"I got millions." You pulled up a picture and showed him.
"Hmmm, this guy is pretty handsome. He looks familiar? I don't know where..." He watched as you zoned out while looking at the picture.
"I just love him so much." You turned into a puddle of tears within a few seconds. "He's everything to me."
"Awww, Babygirl. It's okay." He said as he hugged you and rubbed your back as you sobbed over the man you were right next to.
Bruce: "Y/N, that's more than plenty. No more drinks for the night." He tried to get the drink from you and could if he really needed to.
"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my boyfriend." You down another shot, and before it, you're trying to dance on the bar.
"I- Im, Yes, I am." He looked so confused at your words and how you were claiming not to be his girlfriend.
"My boyfriend's Batman. You know?" You made yourself look like you had pointed little devil ears. "Like Na Na NaNa Na Ba Batman!" You giggled completely out of it before nearly slipping on the bar
Of course, Bruce caught you before you fell too far. You started laughing so hard from being so intoxicated. He carried you out of the bar while paparazzi took pictures of you. If the alcohol in your system didn't have you disoriented, then the flashes from the cameras sure did. They gave you a horrible migraine which slowly pulled you out of your drunken state and back to a sober one.
"Mmmmm...my head feels awful." You grumble as Bruce helps you inside the manor.
"I'm sure it does, you had a lot to drink. We should get you out of those heels and into bed."
"What even is the difference between and manor and a mansion." You asked as he kneeled down to take your heels off.
"Well, A manor is a large estate with a historic significance and is a primary residence. A mansion is a large house that is over 7,000 square feet." He explains as he sets your heels down in his large walk-in closet.
You look at him with a face of complete confusion. Bruce laughs and smiles as he heads back over to you, taking your dress off.
"If you're still interested in the morning I'll explain it all to you." He took his mother's pearls off your neck before laying you down. Bruce put you under the covers and tucked you in like a little kid.
"Good Night, Beautiful." He kisses your forehead and heads down to the Batcave to work on a case he's been trying to break.
Tim: "Don't touch what you can't buy, Bub!" You said as Tim politely tried to guide you away from the party with a hand on your lower back.
"What are you even talking about?" He laughed as he slowly herded you like a cat towards the kitchen on a higher level so you could sober up somewhere quiet.
"Do you think Taco Bell called themselves that because it sounds like Del Taco? Is that like who came first the chicken or the egg? Mmmm, my boyfriend would know..." You grab your phone to call your boyfriend, which makes Tim give you a look of almost humorous astonishment. He laughs as he picks up the phone.
"Yes, Baby? What can I do for you today, Sweetheart." He asked as he stared at you, trying not to laugh.
"I'm with this guy, and I asked him if Taco Bell came first or Del Taco, and he doesn't know...Do you know?"
"Taco Bell, I believe, Honey." You hang up your phone before looking back at Tim.
"My boyfriend said Taco Bell."
"Your boyfriend sounds really smart."
"Oh, he really is and he's so nice to me. He got like so so many squish mellows, and they're so soft." You start getting emotional, and he can see the tears in your eyes, and he realizes he needs to get you into bed quickly because the last thing he needs is to carry you through a lot of drunk party-goers.
Tim very slowly gets you back to your room and gets you laid down on the bed you two share. He grabs a squish mellow that he knows you love most and puts it in your arms.
"You know my boyfriend would really like you; you're so sweet and caring, just like he is. He wants to make sure everyone's safe and happy. He's like a cute lil guy and he's just so amazing."
His heart swells about five sizes, and he thinks it might burst. It's sweet how loyal you are when you're drunk but also how highly you think of him, it means the world to him. Just as he thought he couldn't love you more, Tim finds himself being sucked deeper and deeper into the hole that is his love for you.
Damian: "Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah. No. I have a boyfriend and he'll kick your ass." You said as you waved your finger in his face as you swayed from side to side.
"Yes, I know I am your boyfriend." He asks with a stern and annoyed look.
"Then what did I eat for breakfast and the color of my underwear?" You slurred with a smug voice.
"Cinnamon French Toast, and they're Burgundy; I know cause I made you breakfast, and I bought them."
"They're red." You giggle, which is bothering him even more; he's annoyed mainly because he needs to get you out of here. He's worried about the company around here, so therefore, he's worried about you.
"Burgundy is a color of red, Babe. Come on, we need to go. Come on, Beloved." He tries to help you up on the floor before you turn into dead weight in his arms.
"Well, isn't that just great?" He picks you up and puts you over his shoulder to get you out of the bar. Some creep acts like he might try Damian like a dumbass, he stops them in their tracks with just a single glare and his resting bitch face.
"Ha, Ha. Pussy." You laugh at the guy as Damian gets you out of the bar and twords his car.
"Hey. Hey, don't antagonize people. Lay down." He says as he puts you down in the back of the car. "Be good." He gets in the drivers seat and starts driving to the manor, he calms as he gets you both further and further away from that sketchy bar. He glances back at you every so often as he drives.
Once he parks the car he gets out and picks you up to get you inside. Between the front door and his bedroom theres a large pool of drool on his shirt from you. He smiles and lays you down before taking your heels off. Damian heads of to shower and change before climbing into the bed with you, gently moving hair away from your face that was stuck in your chapstick.
"Get some sleep, Beloved."
Send me prompts if youd like. ♡
Masterlists
#batboys#batboys x reader#jason todd x reader#jason todd#damian wayne x reader#dick grayson x reader#red hood x reader#red hood#tim drake x reader#batman x reader#batfamily#batman#batfam#red robin x reader#robin x reader#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne#dick grayson#tim drake
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Currently thinking about... how break-up sex would go with JJK men...
Like what if, even though you're both so in love with each other, the situation you're in right now forces you to break up with them. They'll try to fight about it, of course, you're crazy about each other, after all. But you insist on breaking up, even going as far as to tell them that you don't love them anymore just so they'll believe you. And before you say goodbye, you ask them to hold you one last time.
Satoru would be quiet. Sex was always fun with him. rough, fast, exhausting, but never boring. Sex with him was always filled with laughter, giggles, and playful kisses that would end with gasps and moans but your last time with him would be quiet. So quiet, in fact, that you could probably hear the sound of him gritting his teeth while he was fucking you from behind, all because he was trying to stop himself from saying, "This is a joke. This must be a joke. We play tricks on each other all the time. You're just trying to get back at me, aren't you, baby? There's no way you don't love me anymore. But even if you do, I don't care. I had let someone go a long time ago and I'd spent years of my life regretting it. I'm not letting you go, not now, not ever. You're staying. No, I'll make you stay." He wouldn't look at you when he fucked you, not once, as he was actually scared that you truly hated him then. But it wouldn't matter if you did. He was never going to let you go.
Suguru would listen with his stoic face intact when you told him that you wanted to break up with him. And softly, he'd ask you why, and you'd lie and tell him that you just didn't love him anymore and his eyes would turn cold as he looked at you, trying to read between your lies and you were scared that he'd know the truth. And if you told him that you wanted him to hold you one last time, he would smile and say, "Sure." but it felt so eerie that you had goosebumps breaking on your skin. Suguru would drag you out of the bed, tear open your dress and his grip was hard enough to leave bruises on your skin but he would still be smiling, even when you flinched in pain. "You like it better like this anyway, right?" he'd say as he fucked you standing up from behind with his fingers wrapped around your neck. He'd have you stand in front of a mirror, making sure to see the pathetic face you made every time he fucked you stupid. He'd show you that you were his in every way possible, making sure you understand that you were going to fucking regret it if you decided to leave him.
Yuuji would be so confused. He'd be confused when you kissed him after you said you didn't love him anymore. He'd be confused when you still hugged him afterward, and kissed his neck, and tugged onto his shirt before you pulled it over his head. He'd be confused when you asked him to hold you one last time, and he wouldn't say anything when you pushed him down to the bed. It was only when you sat on his lap, trying to slide his cock inside that he'd stop you. "No, wait, I can't do it," he would say, unable to look at you because suddenly, tears started to brim in his eyes. "If you're going to leave me after we're done, I can't do it. I love you. I don't know why you suddenly changed your mind about me, but I'm still in love with you and I don't think I can love anyone else but you. You'll break me if you do this, so please..." His voice would break and he would hug you close, his chin placed on your shoulder, his voice, sketched with the tears he was trying to hold back, reverberating right in your ear. "Please stop and tell me. I'm an idiot so I'm very slow at figuring things out and I don't know if I hurt you and I'm sorry but... I want to understand... Why...? Why are you leaving me? Am I... not enough for you?"
Megumi would not do it. He wouldn't kiss you. He wouldn't touch you. He'd only clench his jaw and ball his fingers into fists the second the words "I don't love you anymore" flowed past your lips. And when you tried to kiss him, he'd take a step back, his voice deep when he asked you, "Have I done something wrong?" You'd shake your head no, saying "It's not because of you, Megumi. It's me—" and he'd cut you off with a "Don't give me that bullshit." He'd raise his voice, but only because he was shaking inside. "If that's true, then tell me what it is! Whatever you did, I'll forgive you. If it's a part of you that you think is the problem, I'll accept it. If it's the situation we're in, let me know so I can fix it. Don't just show up and tell me you don't love me anymore, don't—" he took a breath, his voice breaking at the end. His face would twist in heartbreak when he finally gathered the strength to look at you in the eyes. His voice would soften when he continued, "Don't tell me you're leaving me. Please."
Yuuta would feel a thousand emotions at once. For the first few minutes when you told him you didn't love him anymore, he'd keep asking you, "Why? Was it something I said? What did I do wrong? How can I make this right? Please. Tell me. Tell me so I can fix everything." And you'd see tears glazing his eyes and he would look so frightened, so heartbroken, unable to believe that the love of his life was slipping out of his fingers. When you told him, "It doesn't matter, Yuu. I just can't do this anymore." Yuuta would panic, colors leaving his face and he'd start begging, "No, please, you can't leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my everything, please don't do this to me, please tell me how to make things right," and it was breaking your heart seeing him like this so you'd try to distract him by kissing him.
He'd whimper against your mouth, cupping your face with both hands, still whispering, "Don't leave me" again and again. He'd slowly regain his composure, his body melting under your kiss and when you started touching him, he'd respond with as much passion, love, and desire as he usually offered you, not knowing that it was going to be his last time with you. It was only when he was holding you in his arms, your legs tangled around his waist, his mouth slicked with your cum, his hips thrusting slow but deep, that you told him the truth, "This is going to be our last time."
Yuuta would freeze, his eyes turning round in both surprise and horror, but after that... You'd find your body folded in half, your head trapped between your knees, your jaw hanging low on your face, unable to even scream his name as he was fucking the breath out of you. His usually delicate moans would turn into heavy grunts, and he'd bunch the sheets under his fingers before he grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the bed, holding them with one hand as he used his other one to grip firmly onto the back of your thigh, pushing you up even further so he could bury himself deep inside you.
"You're not leaving me," he'd breathe out. "I won't let you. We promised each other we'd be together until we die. I won't let you break it." He'd kiss you, rough and messy, smothering you with it. He'd see a hint of fear written in your eyes, maybe you'd even cry a little from how rough he was being with you, but he'd kiss the tears away, his smile looking both beautiful and terrifying when he said, "Don't worry, Sweetheart. There's nothing to be afraid of. No one will love you better than me, I promise you. And if anyone dares to come between us," he'd angle your face to the side, lick a stripe up your neck before he let his smile graze your ear.
"I'll fucking kill them."
#jjk x reader#yuta x reader#yuuji x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi x you#yuta okkotsu x reader#itadori yuji x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#jjk fic#jjk smut#gojo smut#yuta smut#geto smut#megumi smut#yuuji smut#help why is this so long#kana.thoughts
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i think one reason why so many people fail to understand andrew and neil's relationship is because people don't know what it is to be aspec. and obviously the aspec umbrella is wide and varied and no one size fits all, but at the heart of their relationship, neil is demisexual. and i fully believe andrew is some form of aromantic. and obviously their shared history of trauma (of all kinds) colors their relationship and their sexualities and actions. but aspec people (and the people in relationships with those aspec people) develop such different relationships than allo people. they care differently, and it's often the care that becomes most important, rather than (just) the attraction. like yes, i choose you because i see you because i am interested in you because i don't quite understand you but i want to, i need to, and i am committed to sticking around regardless of whether we are a legal partnership or not.
people argue all the time that andreil would grow to say i love you some day, that they'd eventually heal enough to get married, but that isn't healing. that's ignoring a vital part of each of them. not only are they both still learning what love is, but love is not what their relationship is built around. they did not ~FaLl In LoVE~ they built a partnership around taking care of the other person. sure they were attracted to each other in their own ways, but andrew doesn't look at neil like he's his happily ever after romance. neil is the person who wants andrew to live, who wants andrew to be happy, who wants andrew to know that he has value even when he's not a good person. and andrew is the person who wants neil to be safe, who wants neil to be happy, who wants neil to know that he has value even when he isn't playing exy. their "romance" comes from holding each other up, from calling each other on their shit, from being a safe space when the world has proven it is anything but. neil is the one who almost starts to imagine some kind of long-term partnership in such conventional terms and andrew is so unconcerned with what that partnership looks like...he just knows the two of them will continue holding each other up as long as they can. and sure they'll have sex and sleep in the same bed and get cats together and all that "romantic" shit, but it's more than romance. it's a life. it's security. it's a chance to rewrite the trauma of their pasts.
and yeah to an outsider all that is romantic, sure. but i don't think andrew and neil see it like that. their relationships is all facts and truths. they feel safest in these absolutes, in the trust they are building together, in the shared language they are crafting between tentative touches and long stares. but to label it something as banal as ~romance~ undersells just what's happening to them. they don't need to say i love you because they know that all of these pieces that make up their shared life together say that for them, and they wouldn't know what to do with those words anyway. their "love" is not the same as other people's anyway. they don't need to get married because anniversaries and dates and marriages minimize just how long forever is, and they are already joined together by the understanding they share.
if the two of them got married or started "dating" it would send the wrong message to people who will never understand. neil isn't andrew's ~boyfriend~ he's the man who convinced him that life can interesting enough to stick around for. andrew isn't neil's ~lover~ he's the man who refused to let him run away from the life he always wanted. it's not romantic, it's survival. it's selflessness. it's learning how to care for yourself by caring for someone else and letting them care for you.
#SORRY i just have a lot of ANDREW IS ARO thoughts bouncing around my head#seed and mish and i kept talking about andreil today and i just wanna smash my head through a wall.#aftg#andreil#me: is this anything what if this is bad#like somedays i wonder if i understand andreil at all#but like....i do i do#not to say that aspec people have galaxy brains who are bigger and better than romance and allo partnership but like...#if the shoe fits....#mine
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Art piece for a human au I have in my brain. Perks of being an artist include doing your own art for a fic that you wrote for you. The self indulgence is crazyyyy
Insane ramblings and such under the cut
Made a small (and rushed, and overall low quality) Azura doodle for the project too.
In my head this is a very similar story to "Eliza and Her Monsters" if you know it. Except I haven't read that book in years and I can't tell what ideas are mine versus the book but I don't want to go back and read it all lmao
Anyways, the premise of this would be Luz is a recent high-school graduate and she is in her last summer before college. She's known online as TheGoodWitch, the creator of the hit series The Legend of Azura (it's not as overly flowery in this au, more like Boiling Isles weirdness, as is custom from our Luz). Seemingly overnight the fan base of this series went from big to wayyy too many people and Luz has never felt more seen but also like there is so much pressure on her.
She had always promised herself she would finish the comic before college, so she has a goal that she'll finish it by the end of the summer. But than an Incident happens (undecided what) and Luz goes to spend the summer with Eda, a close family friend and job giver outer.
So she's working in this small town of Gravesfield, and meets all these interesting characters around town and a particularly pretty Amity Blight. A rich girl with a summer home right down the road. And wow! Amity turns out to be the biggest fan ever of The Legend of Azura!
It would be a shortish fic and mostly lighthearted because I think silly goofy vibes would fit this story best. But yeah. I think I'll write it to get it out of my system. And I also want to play around with maybe it being a part of a series because I love huntlow too and want to write about them... I'll find a way mwhahaha~
Anyways. That's my (very brief explanation of my) story idea. It's rough but I'm having a lot of fun coming up with diffrent interactions, and where diffrent characters have settled jn this human realm. Very fun. Would recommend.
#The owl house#the owl house au#luz noceda#amity blight#luz x amity#toh#toh au#it would be somewhat of a secret identities situation beacause I imagine theyd know eachother online quite well#seeing how big of a fan Amity is#i just want to be silly with it#and find a way to include huntlow in on the romance drama hahahahhahaha#not an addiction i can stop at any time#my art#lumity
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Hawke family fleeing the Blight
I have some thoughts on my Hawke having to deal with another Blight and keeping her family safe again. But that's too long for this post, so I'm just gonna add it to my list of Dragon Age fics that I still need to finish...
#dragon age#datv#dragon age 2#hawke#marian hawke#fenris#fenhawke#fenris x hawke#Marian Hawke you will always be my favorite DA protagonist#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#dragon age carver#carver hawke#dragon age aveline#bethany hawke#actually i will ramble about this here because what do you mean kirkwall is gone???#that's hawke's home don't tell me she has to abandon her home AGAIN due to the blight#given that we have to say goodbye to a certain character i really wanted to see kirkwall one last time ya know???#but maybe i'm biased becuase DA2 is my favorite
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"pro-ai" people. I think you ought to unpack that a tad. I think their might be some assumptions in there doing an awful lot of heavy lifting that may not be all that valuable.
All of your examples require an internet connection, and for those services to be live on the web. Even templates, you either have to download them or the specialized software that runs them.
All of these require information access on remote servers, and they each require their own, individual process, and for those individual services to be maintained in a way that is free or affordable.
An llm is a generalist. that can do all of these, and a lot more things, in one installation, that can still be on your machine and run if your connection goes down. Should you take its medical advice? Probably not. Is error checking over? No. Is that still very handy to format an email when FormatAnEmail.com is down? uh. yeah.
The choice of whether or not to use AI should depend on the task and how good AI is at it and the other resources at your disposal.
this false "pro-ai" and "anti-ai" dichotomy is silly, and is predicated on an assumption that "AI" is always going to meet some criteria that is objectionable in all cases for all reasonable people that isn't true.
I see where this argument comes from, but the evils of "ai" are actually the evils of like 3 companies and I would argue its more useful as consumers to recall that, considering these companies are trying to sell it to you. But these evils aren't true because of the ai. They're true because of the companies trying to win an arms race.
"Ai is evil"
not even true of most llms or most llm research.
It applies with the most parity to the 2 or 3 models we see being advertised the most, and the companies attached in the public zeitgeist, but those models are fairly extreme outliers for their size, complexity, resource use, and the audacity of their holding companies. They don't really represent a representative sample of the qualities any LLM *must* have or will have. Most research in llms in the last several years has been about making them smaller and more resource efficient.
I would argue there is no useful "anti-ai" and "pro-ai" identity. There are consumers angry about specific models and generalizing those shortcomings to an entire paradigm of computing based on the first one or two things they've heard about "AI" and deciding they're all of the devil, and... people who didn't do that.
"Using ai" does not necessarilly mean chatgpt. We have language models that are open source. That are local. That are private. That do not put money directly in the hands of any company. One that's 260 something megabytes for the weights. a hundred or so million parameters in comparison to chatgpts estimated trillions. LLMs run all gamuts of size, resource use, "intelligence" and data provinance and once training is done the model itself is just basically a ROM image. There is very little you can say about the implementation of chatgpt that would apply to every llm, not now, not a year ago, and especially not moving forward.
It's a tool. Not a demon. And for things the tool is less good at, finetuning the tool is entirely possible and is accessible to anyone who can follow a basic python tutorial. we are not at the mercy of these companies or their doings to provide ourselves access to the tool nor are we necessarily culpable to any problem you can name in AI unless we specifically choose to be. And we can choose specifically not to be and still use AI by using more ethical ai models. Usage of an LLM does not preclude that foul play is being rewarded in some way with patronage to any specific dealer.
Deciding there's "Anti-AI" and "Pro-AI" is just pretend internet politics. It's two straw men jerking off while they hold eye contact to assert dominance. People who want to use AI in a more ethical way were already capable of doing that, for... literal years. and no one who's thinking very critically and is abreast of the options available is wearing either of those hats with their whole pussy because they just don't make any sense. You can't really hear "using ai" and be sure something that should be boycotted is happening. And I personally am not deciding to fight over how someone writes their grocery list. I literally just. could not be fucked to care about anything much less. "This nasty bitch wrote her grocery list with token generation" idgaf. I just... don't.
I think a lot of what pro-AI people are really wanting is stuff that already exists but they don't know it's out there like
can't format a work email? templates
don't know how to write a resume? templates
writing a thank you card or a condolences card or a wedding invitation? templates templates templates
not sure how to format your citations in MLA or whatever format? citationmachine.net
summary of something you're reading for school/work? cliffsnotes.com
recipe based on ingredients in your fridge? whatsintherefrigerator.com
there's a million more like, guys, we don't need AI, we never needed generative AI
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Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
#i hope i didn't sound rude btw i am saying this respectfully and this is directed to the ones who push these hcs as canon#if you have your own theories and know abt aroace stereotypes but are respectful abt it this is not for you keep scrolling#i actually think showing jinx (who has been dehumanized by the fandom A LOT) in a romantic relationship is good for her character#and viktor letting himself be free and loving what he considered imperfections thanks to jayce at the end c'monnn they need to make love#tired of disabled characters being treated as babies and always hc them as aroace let them fuck#this being said i am aware there are more terms inside aroace etc etc etc and there are more ways of considering them aroace etc etc etc#this is NOT about that it's about being aware of how 'mmm it's the vibes!' argument does NOT work when it's stereotypes#it's like saying 'wow this robotic character is giving me autistic vibes idk why' LIKE CMON NOW WEFNEWLFNL YOU KNOW WHY#please don't cancel me i am giving my humble opinion as someone aroaspec#at the end of the day you can do whatever the fuck you want tbh#i'm not the shipping police here#arcane#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#jayvik#timebomb
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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Just your average male living space.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen qing#lan wangji#A-Yuan#wei wuxian#(***Content warning for me talking about unhygienic living conditions in the tags today***).#The worst part of drawing this comic is that I've seen so much worse. This is a livable space.#I've helped out friends and family who were struggling and let me just say...I have seen some pretty dysfunctional living spaces.#Hell I've *lived* in some very dysfunctional living spaces.#Hording dishes under the bed was always something that grossed me out but it's unfortunately something I've seen people do way too often.#The horror everyone has upon walking into WWX's 'living' set up is so consistently 'Mate how are you living like this?'#It's honestly so integral to me that WWX's 'just left home for the first time' house/room be a depression/dysfunction pit.#You can learn a lot about someon's state of mind from how they keep their living space...and this guy is oozing 'deep depression'.#I don't think he's eaten anything but foods that classify as a struggle meal in a year.#Everyone is trying to stage an intervention but he just isn't in a good enough place to help himself.#By the way: I want to steer away from shaming people who have messy homes/rooms because life *does* hit hard sometimes.#My love language is coming into your home to do your dishes and do some housework. Don't apologize for the mess king.#Nothing could top some of the places I've had to help my older siblings out of.#I'd be okay with my flatmate having a severed limb and a blood pool at this point.#As long as he lets me take out the dishes from under the bed - We're good! My standards are so low at this point.
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So I was nodding along almost the whole way through, I was saying "Yeah!" and "Oof, I feel that, I can relate," until I got to:
"be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial" and "you must insist upon her [...] because she may still not yet know how".
And... yeah, no, kinda lost me there. Now, don't get me wrong! It is perfectly valid if you're doing those things essentially as kink (or not-really-kink-but-kinda-uses-the-same-tools-and-skillset) -- that is, you and your beloved have sat down and talked about her discomfort and her difficulties, and the difference between actual discomfort and cognitive dissonance at the concept of having nice things for herself, and how SHE wants you to recognize the distinction (and what signals SHE can give to provide cues in cases of ambiguity), and she's given you express permission to do the Being Forceful thing in pursuit of doing nice things for her and insisting or persuading her into accepting them -- AND y'all have talked about how she can communicate effectively when your insistence and persuasion isn't just not landing right for some reason or when it's actually starting to cross a line. If you've done all that: great, godspeed, I love your love. Make her accept all the compliments and adoration and the nice things she deserves! Your crusade to love her properly is righteous and just!
However. The vast majority of us across the spectrum of transness have experienced people crossing our boundaries, infantilizing and condescending to us, assuming that they know better than us about what we want, and ignoring our quiet, hesitant attempts to push back in small ways as we try to establish a foothold and figure out how much space we're allowed to take up. So... idk, putting "be forceful" and "insist because she may not yet know how" right next to solid, sound advice for all situations like "be patient, be generous" as if they are equivalent in meaning and impact and importance just... rubs me the wrong way. I think OP is absolutely speaking coming from a place of love and positivity, but... this needs caveats.
Because man-oh-man I have personally experienced this kind of thing from both sides: Just because you know that something is going to be good for someone doesn't mean they're going to appreciate having it forced on them. Just because you're absolutely sure that someone will be delighted by something doesn't mean that you're always going to be right.
Suppose the nice thing that someone (let's call them Tye) is doing for their partner (let's call her Mia) is... taking her out to her favorite Italian restaurant. Suppose Tye does this every week without fail, and they feel great about it because Mia loves this restaurant and she deserves to be treated like a princess. But what happens if one week she's bored of it, or not in the mood for Italian food? What happens if she says, "Hey, maybe we don't have to go today... I don't really need all this, what if we just eat toast and eggs--" and Tye says, "NO NO. NO, I LOVE YOU AND WE'RE GOING! YOU DESERVE IT!!!" Y'know what I'm saying??? That's not actually about loving Mia anymore, that's more about Tye getting off on their own heroism. And Mia is once again having to shut up and make herself small.
If the goal is to love your person and give her space to grow confident enough to accept and embrace all the love and wonderful things she deserves, the strategy of forcefulness and insistence COULD actually end up being counter-intuitively DISempowering if it is not explicitly consensual: It is removing opportunities for her to practice communicating her own needs, choosing happiness, and valuing herself where other people can see. It is reinforcing the lesson she has already learned from the rest of society, which is that her self-knowledge and boundaries are inferior to the wants and goals of the people around her.
Having a partner who is so passionate about loving us that they INSIST on giving us the things we secretly long for even when we're scared and shy of accepting them ourselves (and that they always telepathically know exactly what is going to be the perfect thing even before we know it ourselves, and they never once make a mistake in reading our mood when we come home tired from work, and they're always able to seamlessly adjust their plans to accommodate our whim)... It is a lovely fantasy. I will not deny that it is a very lovely fantasy and that I too would like to go to there. That sounds FANTASTIC.
But at the end of the day you are loving an adult human being and "no means no" must remain true even if you think you perceive a glint of longing in her eye (unless modified rules of consent have been established and ratified between you prior to this). Absolutely be patient, be generous, be loving, be attentive and proactive. But also you also gotta be okay with backing the hell off sometimes. You gotta be humble enough to acknowledge that sometimes you might be projecting your own past self's longings, rather than looking at the person in front of you with clear eyes. Create a space where it's safe for her to come out of her protective shell instead of dragging her out of it before she's ready. Encourage her to set her own boundaries, and express appreciation when she does so, especially when the boundaries are ones you disagree with or are personally inconvenienced by.
You cannot force a person to move faster along their journey of loving themself. Having someone insist on giving you love (and I'm once again speaking from experience here, as someone who has been on both sides) can sometimes end up making the beloved feel more guilty, more self-conscious, and more aware of their own "failures" and "deficiencies". To the person trying to do that style of love, it probably IS purely in good faith, but to the person receiving it, it can sometimes come across as a constant implicit reminder of, "I'm not doing it right, I'm still not doing it right, and everyone can tell. No matter how hard I try I still can't do it right, I hate myself even more now."
OP absolutely hit the nail on the head with everything about, "I had to stop [negative self-thoughts], I had to start [taking care of myself], I had to learn [those skills], but more than that I had to learn to ask[...]. it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train." 100% cosigned. That is exactly it -- training muscles. You can be someone's spotter and cheerleader, but you can't lift the weights for them, and forcing them to lift more than they're ready for often hurts more than it helps. Communicate! Establish a culture of consent even outside the bedroom! And continue to be patient even when it turns out that progress is not a straight line without any stumbles!
so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.
i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.
i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.
and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.
so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.
and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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