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Silent Night, Whispered Secrets
Christmas Special 🎄
Yunjin x Male Reader
word count: 4.5K words
The office is eerily quiet on Christmas Eve, with only the soft hum of your computer and occasional clicking of the keyboard breaking the silence. Most of your coworkers left hours ago to start their holiday celebrations, but you're still here finishing up year-end reports. The only other person crazy enough to still be working is Yunjin, whose office is just down the hall from yours.
You've known Yunjin for the two years you've worked at the company. She started a few months before you and helped show you the ropes when you first joined. You hit it off right away, drawn to her quick wit and infectious laugh. She's the kind of person who can find humor in even the most mundane office situations, making even boring meetings more bearable with her subtle eye rolls and whispered commentary.
Physically, Yunjin is absolutely your type, though you've tried not to think about her that way given your professional relationship. She has a classic beauty about her, with delicate features framed by stylish glasses that give her a sexy librarian vibe. Her lips are full and naturally pouty, the kind that make you wonder what they'd feel like pressed against yours. She typically dresses conservatively for the office in blazers and pencil skirts, but you can tell she has a slim, petite figure with small breasts that suit her frame perfectly.
The sound of heels clicking on the tile floor pulls you from your thoughts. Looking up, you see Yunjin leaning against your doorframe, her jacket discarded and the top button of her white blouse undone.
"Still at it?" she asks with a sympathetic smile. "You know Santa won't come if you're still awake doing spreadsheets."
You can't help but chuckle. "Pretty sure Santa skips over office buildings anyway. What's your excuse for still being here?"
"Same as you probably - trying to get everything wrapped up before the holiday break." She walks into your office and perches on the edge of your desk, something she's done countless times during your friendly chats. "But I'm officially taking a break and you should too. We've been at this for hours."
The familiar scent of her perfume - something light and floral - wafts over as she settles next to you. You realize she's right about needing a break; your eyes are starting to blur from staring at the screen.
"Yeah, you're probably right," you concede, leaning back in your chair. "Most of this can wait until after Christmas anyway."
"Exactly! Speaking of Christmas..." She swivels to face you more directly, crossing her legs. "What are your plans? Big family gathering?"
"Pretty much the usual - heading to my parents' place tomorrow morning. Mom always goes overboard with the decorations and Dad pretends to complain about it while secretly loving every minute." You smile thinking about your family's traditions. "What about you?"
"Similar, minus the over-the-top decorations. Though my mom does make enough food to feed a small army." She pauses, seeming to consider something before asking, "Will your girlfriend be joining you?"
The question catches you off guard. In all your conversations, she's never directly asked about your relationship status before. "No girlfriend to bring along," you answer honestly. "Flying solo this holiday season."
"Really?" Her eyebrows raise slightly above her glasses frames. "I find that hard to believe. A guy like you, single at Christmas?"
There's something different in her tone now, a slight flirtatiousness that makes your pulse quicken. "What do you mean a guy like me?" you ask, playing along.
She adjusts her glasses in that adorable way she does when she's about to say something bold. "Oh, you know... Smart, funny, easy on the eyes." Her lips curve into a playful smile. "The kind of guy who probably has women fighting over who gets to kiss him under the mistletoe."
Your mouth goes dry as you process this shift in dynamic. Is Yunjin actually flirting with you? After two years of carefully maintained friendship?
"Funny, I was just thinking the same about you," you reply, testing the waters. "Surprised you don't have a line of guys waiting to take you home for the holidays."
She laughs softly, uncrossing and recrossing her legs. "Maybe I'm waiting for the right guy to ask." Her eyes meet yours with unmistakable intent now. "Someone who already knows me... understands me..."
The air between you feels charged with possibility. You've imagined moments like this before but always pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to complicate your friendship or work relationship. But now, with her looking at you like that...
"Yunjin..." you start, not quite sure what you're going to say.
She slides off your desk and extends her hand to you. "Come with me. I want to show you something."
You don't hesitate for a second, turning off the computer and getting up from your chair. Your heart pounds as you take her hand, letting her lead you out of your office and down the darkened hallway. Her fingers are soft and warm interlaced with yours. She guides you past the break room and copy area to a section of the building you rarely visit.
"Where are we going?" you ask, though you're happy to follow her anywhere at this point.
"Somewhere private," she answers mysteriously. "Where we can talk without worrying about security cameras."
She leads you into what appears to be a storage room, flicking on a small lamp that casts a warm glow over boxes of office supplies and forgotten furniture. It's cozy in an odd way, like a secret hideaway.
Yunjin turns to face you, still holding your hand. Her cheeks are slightly flushed and you can see her chest rising and falling with quick breaths.
"I need to tell you something," she says. "Something I've wanted to say for a long time but never had the courage."
You squeeze her hand encouragingly, heart racing with anticipation.
"I have feelings for you," she continues. "Real feelings, beyond friendship. I think I have for a while now but I was afraid to admit it, afraid of ruining what we have. But being here tonight, just the two of us... I couldn't keep pretending anymore."
The confession hangs in the air between you for a moment before you respond. "Yunjin, I had no idea you felt that way. I mean, I've definitely thought about you like that but I always told myself it was just a crush, that it would pass..."
"And did it? Pass?" she asks softly.
You shake your head. "No. If anything, it got stronger the more I got to know you. You're amazing, Yunjin. Smart and funny and beautiful... I love how you can make me laugh even on the worst days. How you always remember little details about things I've told you. How passionate you get when talking about things you care about..."
She steps closer, reaching up to touch your face. "We've been through a lot together, haven't we? All those late nights working on projects, lunch breaks spent venting about difficult clients, celebrating each other's wins..."
"Yeah," you agree, letting your free hand rest on her waist. "I guess it's natural that feelings would develop. We just... fit."
"We do," she whispers, then rises on her tiptoes to press her lips to yours.
The kiss is gentle at first, tentative, as if you're both still afraid of crossing this line. But then she sighs against your mouth and something ignites between you. Your arms wrap around her waist as hers circle your neck, pulling each other closer as the kiss deepens.
Her lips are even softer than you imagined, moving against yours with growing passion. You can taste mint on her breath, like she'd been preparing for this possibility. The thought makes you smile against her mouth.
"What?" she asks, pulling back slightly.
"Nothing," you murmur, trailing kisses along her jaw. "Just happy."
She tilts her head to give you better access to her neck, letting out a small moan when you find a sensitive spot. "Mmm... want to know what would make me happy?"
"Tell me," you breathe against her skin.
"Letting me give you your Christmas present." Her hands slide down your chest as she speaks.
You pull back to look at her, seeing desire burning in her eyes behind those sexy glasses. "What kind of present?"
Instead of answering, she starts unbuttoning her blouse, revealing smooth pale skin and a simple white bra underneath. Your breath catches as she reaches behind to unhook it, letting the garment fall away.
You can't take your eyes off Yunjin's exposed chest as she straddles your lap in the dimly lit storage room. Her breasts are small, almost flat against her slim frame, but they're absolutely perfect to you. Each one is barely a handful, topped with delicate pink nipples that have hardened in the cool air. The sight makes your mouth water with desire.
"I know they're not much to look at," she says shyly, noticing your intense gaze. "Most guys prefer bigger..."
You silence her self-consciousness by cupping both small mounds in your hands, feeling their subtle weight. "These are exactly what I want," you tell her firmly. "Perfect little tits that fit my hands just right."
She shivers as you run your thumbs over her nipples, watching them stiffen further under your touch. The rosy buds stand out proudly now, begging to be sucked. You lean forward slowly, maintaining eye contact as you take one peak between your lips.
"Ohhh..." Yunjin moans softly as you begin to suckle her breast. Her fingers thread through your hair, holding you against her chest as you worship her sensitive flesh.
You alternate between gentle suction and firm licks, paying attention to how she responds. When you graze your teeth lightly across her nipple, her whole body trembles and she lets out a gasp. You do it again, a bit firmer this time, and are rewarded with a breathy "Yes..."
Your hands knead her small breasts as you continue lavishing attention on her nipples. Despite their size, or perhaps because of it, they seem incredibly sensitive. Every touch, every lick, every gentle bite makes her squirm and moan in your lap.
You pull back slightly to admire your work - her nipples are now swollen and deep pink from your ministrations. "So responsive," you murmur, blowing cool air across the wet peaks and watching them tighten further. "I love how sensitive these little tits are."
"Only for you," she whimpers as you dive back in, this time taking as much of her small breast into your mouth as possible. There's something incredibly arousing about being able to almost fit the entire mound between your lips.
You suck firmly while massaging her other breast, feeling her nipple press hard against your palm. Her hips begin to rock subtly in your lap as her arousal builds. The movement makes your already hard cock throb with need, but you're determined to thoroughly worship these perfect little tits first.
Moving to her neglected breast, you trace circles around the areola with your tongue before capturing the straining nipple between your teeth. A sharp gasp escapes her lips as you apply just enough pressure to toe the line between pleasure and pain.
"Oh god," she pants, grinding more insistently against you now. "That feels so good... I never knew my breasts could be this sensitive..."
You hum against her flesh, the vibrations making her shudder. Your hands slide around to grip her ass, helping guide her movements as she rocks in your lap. Each roll of her hips makes her small breasts sway slightly, a hypnotic sight that has you alternating between watching and tasting.
"Such perfect little tits," you murmur between licks and kisses. "Love how they bounce... love how responsive they are... love how they fit in my mouth just right..."
Your praise seems to turn her on even more. She arches her back, pressing her chest more firmly against your face as you continue your oral assault on her sensitive peaks. Her breathing becomes more ragged with each passing minute.
You bring your hands back to her breasts, squeezing them together so you can move back and forth between nipples more easily. The sight of her small mounds pressed together, topped with those pretty pink nipples, is incredibly erotic. You lap at both peaks simultaneously, making her cry out.
"Please," she whimpers, though you're not sure what she's begging for. You respond by sucking harder, drawing one taut nipple deep into your mouth while pinching and rolling the other between your fingers.
Her whole body is trembling now as you continue your relentless attention. You can feel how wet she is through her panties as she grinds against your lap, seeking friction. The combination of your mouth on her sensitive breasts and the pressure against her clit seems to be driving her wild.
"I think..." she gasps, clutching your head tighter. "I think I might... from just this..."
The revelation that she might cum just from breast play spurs you on. You double your efforts, sucking and licking and nibbling at her swollen nipples while your hands massage the soft flesh of her small breasts. Her movements become more erratic as she chases her pleasure.
"That's it," you encourage between sucks. "Let go for me... show me how sensitive these perfect little tits are..."
With a sharp cry, she does just that. Her body goes rigid in your lap as waves of pleasure wash over her, triggered by nothing more than your mouth on her breasts. You continue gently sucking and licking through her orgasm, prolonging the sensation until she weakly pushes your head away, too sensitive to take any more.
"I've never..." she pants, looking down at you with wide eyes. "That's never happened before..."
You press soft kisses to her flushed chest, admiring how her nipples are now deep red and slightly swollen from your attention. "Just proves what I said - these are perfect."
With a smile Yunjin slides down your body with a hungry look in her eyes, her delicate fingers work at your belt buckle as she settles between your legs, licking her lips in anticipation.
"Now I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel," she purrs, finally freeing your throbbing cock from its confines. Her eyes widen slightly at the sight. "So big..." she whispers, wrapping her small hand around your shaft.
You groan at the first contact, already rock hard from getting her off with just breast play earlier. She starts with slow, exploratory strokes, learning the feel of you. Her other hand cups your balls gently, rolling them between her fingers as she studies your reactions.
"Tell me if it's good, okay?" she asks softly, her hot breath ghosting over your tip. "I want this to be the best you've ever had."
Before you can respond, she leans forward and drags her tongue from base to tip in one long, slow lick. Your cock twitches in her grip as she swirls her tongue around the head, gathering the bead of precum that's formed there.
"Mmm," she hums, savoring the taste. "Already so excited for me..."
She continues teasing you with her tongue, tracing the prominent veins along your shaft and paying special attention to the sensitive spot just under the head. Her hand keeps up a steady stroking motion, spreading her saliva along your length.
When she finally takes you into her mouth, you have to fight not to thrust up into that wet heat. She starts shallow, just sucking on the tip while her tongue works against the underside. Her eyes flutter closed as she focuses on the task, clearly enjoying herself.
"Fuck, that feels good," you groan as she gradually takes more of you in. Her mouth is so hot and wet, and the suction is perfect. She hums in acknowledgment, the vibrations sending pleasure shooting through your cock.
One hand wraps around what doesn't fit in her mouth yet, working in tandem with her lips and tongue. The other continues massaging your balls, occasionally trailing lower to tease your perineum. The dual stimulation has your toes curling.
She pulls off with a wet pop, strings of saliva connecting her lips to your cock. "I love how hard you are," she says, pumping you with both hands now. "Love feeling you throb in my mouth..."
Before you can respond, she's diving back down, taking you even deeper this time. Her tongue pressed flat against the underside of your shaft as she bobs her head, building a steady rhythm. The wet sounds of her sucking fill the room, obscenely erotic.
You thread your fingers through her hair, not guiding her movements but just wanting to touch her. She moans around your cock in response, the vibrations making you groan. Her pace picks up slightly, switching between deep sucks and focusing on the sensitive head.
"Just like that," you encourage as she finds a particularly good rhythm. "Your mouth feels fucking amazing."
She pulls back again, this time to focus solely on your tip while her hands work your shaft. Her tongue swirls around the head before flicking rapidly against the frenulum, making your hips jerk. "Want to taste every inch of you," she murmurs before taking you deep again.
This time she doesn't stop until you hit the back of her throat. She holds there for a moment, swallowing around you, before pulling back for air. Strings of saliva connect her lips to your cock as she gasps.
"So fucking hot," you groan, watching her catch her breath. Your cock twitches in her grip, achingly hard from her skilled attention.
She smiles up at you before diving back in, this time maintaining eye contact as she works you over. The sight of her pretty lips stretched around your girth while she stares up at you with lust-filled eyes is almost too much.
Her technique varies between long, slow sucks taking you as deep as she can manage, and focusing on the tip with quick flicks of her tongue. She seems to delight in finding what makes you moan loudest, repeating movements that get the biggest reactions.
"Getting close?" she asks during another brief break, her hand never stopping its stroking motion. When you nod, she smiles. "Good. I want to taste your cum... want to swallow every drop..."
The dirty talk combined with her renewed oral assault has you right on the edge. She seems to sense this, doubling her efforts. One hand pumps your shaft while the other gently squeezes your balls. Her mouth focuses on your sensitive head, sucking firmly while her tongue works the underside.
"Fuck, I'm about to cum!" you growl, staring down at Yunjin's face as she works your throbbing cock with her skilled mouth. Her designer glasses are slightly fogged up from her heavy breathing, adding an irresistibly naughty librarian vibe to her cock-hungry expression. Those plump, glistening lips stretch obscenely wide around your thick shaft as she bobs her head with expert precision.
Rather than slow down at your warning, she doubles her efforts - taking you even deeper into her hot, eager mouth. Her full, pouty lips form a perfect seal around your cock as she sucks harder, her tongue dancing and swirling along your sensitive length. Drool runs down your balls as she services you with single-minded determination, the wet sloppy sounds of her enthusiastic sucking filling the room.
You reach down to tangle your fingers in her silky hair, accidentally knocking her glasses slightly askew. She doesn't miss a beat, continuing to worship your cock while reaching up to adjust them with one hand. The intellectual look of her wire-rimmed frames contrasts deliciously with the absolutely filthy things she's doing with that talented mouth.
Her crimson lipstick is completely ruined now, smeared all over your cock in scarlet streaks. The sight of those perfect dick-sucking lips wrapped around you, combined with her sultry gaze behind those sexy glasses, has your balls drawing up tight. She must sense how close you are because she takes you impossibly deeper, until you feel the back of her throat squeezing your sensitive cockhead.
Her nose presses against your pelvis as she deep-throats you with practiced ease, her glasses fogging up even more from her heavy breathing. The rippling sensation of her throat muscles working around your length finally pushes you over the edge.
"Fuuuuck!" you roar as your orgasm hits like a freight train. Your cock pulses violently, shooting thick ropes of hot cum directly down her eager throat. She moans in satisfaction around your spurting length, continuing to suck and swallow rhythmically as you empty yourself into her hungry mouth. Not a single drop escapes those perfect cock-hungry lips.
Even after you're completely drained, she keeps gently nursing on your sensitive head, her tongue lapping up every last trace of cum. Only when you're trembling from overstimulation does she finally release you with an obscene pop. Your cock emerges glistening with her saliva, still twitching occasionally.
She looks up at you with heavy-lidded eyes behind her slightly steamed glasses, licking those full, swollen lips with obvious satisfaction. A thin strand of saliva and cum still connects her mouth to your cock. "Mmm, fucking delicious," she purrs, her voice slightly hoarse from taking you so deep. She gives your softening length one final kiss before sitting back on her heels.
Your legs feel weak as you watch her run her tongue over her lips again, savoring your taste. Her ruined lipstick smeared across her mouth and chin. Combined with her messy hair, fogged glasses, and the hungry look in her eyes, she's the perfect picture of debauchery.
"That was incredible," you manage to say once you catch your breath. She just grins wickedly, clearly proud of her cock-sucking skills. And rightfully so - you've never had your dick sucked with such enthusiasm and expertise before.
"I love the way you taste," she says, running one finger along her bottom lip while pushing her glasses back up her nose. "And the way your big cock feels stretching my mouth open. Makes me so fucking horny." To emphasize her point, she brings both hands up to her small breasts, squeezing them firmly through her top.
The sight of her playing with herself while looking at you with those intelligent eyes behind her frames makes your spent cock twitch with renewed interest. She notices and laughs, her hands still kneading her chest. "Already wanting more? Such a greedy boy." She leans forward to plant soft kisses along your shaft, which is already starting to harden again.
"Can't help it when you've got such perfect dick-sucking lips," you tell her, running your thumb across her plump bottom lip. She captures the digit between her teeth, sucking it into her mouth with a sultry look. The combination of her hot tongue swirling around your thumb and her glasses sliding down her nose again makes your cock throb.
"These lips were made for worshipping cock," she agrees after releasing your thumb with a wet pop. "Especially yours. I love how thick you are - really makes me work for it." She emphasizes her point by wrapping those gorgeous lips around just your sensitive head, sucking gently while maintaining eye contact through her slightly fogged lenses.
You groan at the sight and sensation. "Fuck, you really are insatiable aren't you?" Your hand finds its way back into her hair, careful not to knock her glasses off this time as you guide her movements. She starts taking more of your rapidly hardening length into her mouth again.
She pulls off just long enough to say "When it comes to sucking your cock? Absolutely." Then she's diving back down, taking you to the root in one smooth motion that has you seeing stars. Her throat contracts around you as she swallows, making you gasp.
Your grip in her hair tightens as she starts bobbing her head with renewed vigor. The wet sounds of her enthusiastic cock-sucking fill the room once again. She alternates between taking you deep in her throat and focusing on your sensitive head, her talented tongue doing incredible things that have you moaning.
"Such a good little cocksucker," you praise her, making her moan around your length. Her glasses fog up completely as she works your cock faster. "Love watching those pretty lips stretch around my thick cock. You were born to suck dick, weren't you?"
She responds by taking you even deeper, until her nose is pressed against your pelvis again. The feeling of her throat squeezing around your cock while she looks up at you with those big, eager eyes behind her steamed-up lenses is almost too much to handle.
"That's it, take it all like a good girl," you growl, using your grip on her hair to hold her in place for a moment. She moans and squirms, clearly loving being used like this. When you finally let her pull back for air, she gasps and immediately dives back down for more, quickly adjusting her glasses before wrapping those perfect lips around you again.
Her enthusiasm is infectious. You start thrusting your hips slightly, fucking her willing mouth while she moans encouragement. The sight of your cock disappearing between those perfect cock-sucking lips over and over, combined with her sexy librarian look, has you racing toward another orgasm embarrassingly quickly.
"Gonna cum again," you warn her through gritted teeth. She responds by sucking even harder, her cheeks hollowing as she works to draw out your load. Her tongue does wicked things to your sensitive head while one hand massages your heavy balls.
This time when you explode, she pulls back just enough to catch your cum on her tongue. You watch in awe as rope after rope of hot cum paints those gorgeous lips and fills her eager mouth. Some of it lands on her glasses, making her look even more debauched. She makes a show of swallowing it all down before licking her lips clean with a satisfied smile.
"Mmm, even better the second time," she purrs, giving your sensitive cock one final kiss. Her lips and chin are glazed with a mixture of cum and saliva, her lipstick completely destroyed, and her glasses are splattered with your seed. "Well, what did you think of my blowjob? Think that lived up to being the best you've ever had?"
"Fuck yes. Your lips, your mouth, your tongue, those fucking glasses... You're perfect, Yunjin.”
Still on her knees, she reaches for the open cardboard box nearby. It’s crammed with small packs of wet wipes. She plucks one out, tearing it open with her teeth before pulling a single wipe free. As she starts cleaning her glasses, she laughs softly. “These glasses? Expensive as hell,” she says, wiping the lenses with a casual ease. “But having you cum all over me while wearing them? Fucking worth it.”
Her words make you shudder slightly, your breath catching as you watch her throw away the last used wipe, her face and glasses less messy now. She smirks, using her thumb to rub at the the forgotten bit of smeared lipstick.
When Yunjin finishes, she sighs, looking at you with those big lovely eyes. "Did you like your present?" she asks softly.
You pull her closer, crushing your mouth to hers, tasting yourself on her tongue but too far gone to care. “Best Christmas present ever,” you murmur against her lips, your hands finding her hips, pulling her impossibly closer as she melts into you.
"Merry Christmas then," she says with a playful wink, wiping her mouth delicately.
"To be honest, I've never liked Christmas as much as I do now," you tell her when your lips move away.
She laughs softly, tucking her head against your neck. "Just wait until you see what I have planned for New Year's."
You hold her close, both of you catching your breath as the reality of what just happened settles in. Outside the windows, snow has begun to fall, dusting the city in white. It's still Christmas Eve, you still have family obligations tomorrow, but right now none of that matters. All that matters is this moment, this woman in your arms, and the promise of more to come.
"We should probably head home soon," Yunjin says eventually, though she makes no move to get up. "It is Christmas Eve after all."
You press a kiss to her temple. "Five more minutes," you bargain, and feel her smile against your skin.
"Five more minutes," she agrees.
You sit there together in comfortable silence, watching the snow fall outside while your racing hearts slow to normal. Whatever happens next, you know this Christmas will be one to remember. And as Yunjin snuggles closer in your arms, you can't help but think that sometimes the best presents come when you least expect them.
The office will look different from now on, you think. The familiar halls and rooms now charged with memory - her hand in yours as she led you here, the first press of her lips against yours, the way she looked on her knees between your legs…
Finally, reluctantly, you both begin to dress. You help Yunjin button her blouse, stealing kisses between each button until she laughs and pushes you away playfully. Her hair is slightly messed up from your fingers and her lips are still swollen from their earlier activities.
She's never looked more beautiful.
"Walk me to my car?" she asks, slipping her hand into yours.
"Of course," you reply, squeezing her fingers gently.
As you make your way through the quiet building, you can't help but marvel at how much can change in a single night. Yesterday, Yunjin was just your friend and coworker. Now... now she's something more, something precious and exciting and full of possibility.
In the parking garage, she turns to face you before getting in her car. "Text me when you get home?" she asks, and you nod.
"Definitely." You pull her close for one more kiss, slow and sweet. "Merry Christmas, Yunjin."
She smiles against your lips. "Merry Christmas."
You watch her drive away, snow swirling in the headlights, before heading to your own car. As you drive home through the quiet streets, you can't wipe the smile off your face. This Christmas is already shaping up to be the best one yet.
Your phone buzzes with a text just as you're pulling into your driveway. It's from Yunjin: "Already missing those five more minutes 😘"
You reply quickly:
"We'll have to make up for lost time after the holidays."
Her response comes immediately:
"Can't wait 💕"
As you head inside, you find yourself actually looking forward to returning to work after Christmas. Who knew the office could hold such possibilities? But then again, with Yunjin involved, anything seems possible.
You fall asleep that night with thoughts of soft lips and gentle hands, of whispered confessions and promises of more to come. In your dreams, it's still snowing, and Yunjin is there, smiling at you through the white flakes, reaching for your hand.
Tomorrow will bring family gatherings and holiday traditions, but tonight belongs to the memory of her - the taste of her kisses, the sound of her moans, the feel of her skin under your fingers. It's the best Christmas gift you could have asked for, and it's only the beginning.
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Bill was still smiling softly at that. He had remembered that day well, even if Cassandra had eventually passed out from the mesmerism he had forced onto her. Luckily, he was able to pretend it was just her being tired from 'Santa Claus' Magic' (as he told Russell) making her happy.
The memory slowly faded out into something else. He almost wanted to tell it to stay, so he could remain in that moment a little while longer. Older again. Not much younger than he was now. There she was, shouting behind him as he walked out of the front door. She was close behind.
You selfish piece of shit! After everything I've done for you, you're just going to leave your poor old mother behind?! How fucking dare you?! None of your brothers would have done this to me. Why, out of all of my children, did you have the one to live?! Why can't you ever think of anyone other than yourself?!
"I'm, I'm sorry, mom..." Russell no longer sounded upset or afraid as he said those words. He just sounded resigned, like he was tired of life itself. He attempted to soften the blow, "It's, it's not you, I, I just wanna see, see other places..."
Oh you'll see plenty of other places if you even fucking live. I hope you die out there and the last place you see are those fucking trenches! Because no one else is going to want you! Nowhere else is home! Home is here, with me. Everywhere you go, everyone is going to hate you eventually and then you'll come back, to me, where you belong!
"She said home was with her, but no, it , it never, it never was. I don't, I don't belong anywhere, not, not even with her. M-maybe I, I was being selfish... but, I, I just didn't want to come back to, to more of how she, she treats me. I'm, I'm a coward I know, but it, it wears you down..."
Bill had been sitting outside, whittling as Cassandra slammed the door behind Russell, still ranting and raving even as she walked away. At least by this point, he was too big for her to drag him outside by his ears anymore.
"I did tell him she wouldn't be happy," Bill said to Jonathan, "She can't manipulate or hurt him if he isn't there after all. Of course, I didn't like the idea of him leaving for good, but it's his choice to make."
I said she wouldn't be happy, boy...
"I told her if, if I survived the war, I, I wasn't planning to, to come back home to her... I, I honestly thought she, she might have been happy to, to be rid of me, Bill," Russell said, "I know you, you don't, you don't want me to go either."
It's not that I don't want you to, lad. I'm just going to miss you. Besides, it's your choice, I can't force you to stay.
"I, I mean, you, you could if, if you really wanted, but then there would be, be the risk of, of messing my, my brain up," Russell continued.
And even if there wasn't the risk, I wouldn't force you into that. It's why I've never tried to make you think better of yourself. You've got to do that on your own, without anyone having to scramble your brain and force you.
"I'll, I'll still come, come back and see you, and, and write to you, you know, if I survive..." Russell said, before he then seemed to remember that this was just a memory. A shadow of what things gone by, "I, I had been told to, to join the forces on, on the front... and, and I just accepted with-without question, I, I was going to head out in, in a few days...."
"He wanted to get away from her," Bill said, "He essentially signed a death warrant because he wanted to get away from her. I should have killed her from the start, but no, I thought he already didn't have one parent, I probably shouldn't take away the other one. God damn it..."
"I... I think I... I need a, a break... I'm, I'm sorry..." Russell said then, "I, I know we've, we've not, not seen much but... I'm, I'm sorry..."
Pathetic. That's how it felt. Like he was giving up before they had even really gotten started. But it was feeling like it was running over a bit much, like a pot that couldn't hold enough of the water being poured in. Seeing these images that were so foreign and yet so familiar.
{Jonathan felt his heart warm up at as he listened to both men speak - the fondness of the memory was clear as day, for a moment he could feel the earlier somber mood lift. A part of him was grateful that Dr.Swansea went for a more lighthearted line of questioning, hopefully this would prove useful to restoring Russell’s memories.}
{Dr.Swansea looked pleased to hear the reply he received from the young man, pausing to think yet again as to what else he could inquire on - he eventually spoke.} “Could you tell me something about yourself that you shared with someone close and they didn’t take the news well?” {He asked, wondering what kind of reply he’d get from this line of questioning.}
{Jonathan couldn’t help but quirk up a brow at the question, he found it… oddly specific? But he trusted his judgement, perhaps it had merit to it as specific questions require specific answers and those answers could just be what Russell needs to remember who he is.}
#vampyrs-and-witchers#No need to apologise at all#I'm glad you're feeling better#Frisky Barkeep | Bill#Flightless Moth | Russell#Bound Blood | Vampyr Verse
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snippets from Rookie II
Viago teaches Rook to make some poisons. Rook notices his shiny new dagger.
Rookie set down the vials at the workstation Viago gestured at, before going to retrieve the box of clean spare gloves he kept at the end of the table. "So who else did you meet at the party? Were all the other Talons there?"
Viago sighed but answered her. "About half of them. We try not to turn up all at once if we can help it. The last time that happened, that rogue assassin from House Arainai took out half the Talons."
"I've never heard of that!"
"Yes well, it was before your time," he said absently, changing his own gloves for a clean pair, "And I was just a novice then too."
"Did they ever catch him?"
"No. They never did. He was picking off prominent Crow leaders one by one, and then one day, he simply stopped. The Talons were his last target. And then he seemingly vanished into obscurity." Viago waved his hand dismissively. "It's all very dramatic, as Crow stories usually are. I wouldn't pay it any mind. You are not important enough to be on his hit list."
Rookie chewed her lip. "But you are, now."
"It appeared to be motivated by revenge. He was taking out the crueller leaders of the Crows. As I said, you and I have done nothing to him. I wouldn't worry."
"But you do worry about someone poisoning the pot of eye shadow Teia sent to me."
"That's a different story, Rookie. House de Riva has no shortage of enemies looking to test me by poisoning my most mouthy Fledgeling."
Rookie grumbled as Viago handed her a tiny spoon. "I milked some adder venom this morning. You'll need to strain it like I showed you last time, and then add exactly two spoonfuls into each vial."
"Yes, Viago."
She dutifully found the equipment and began the process of decanting the venom while Viago took out a chopping board to start preparing the other ingredients.
They worked in companionable silence for a while, each focused on their own work, when Rookie noticed an ornate knife laying on the side table near the doorway of the room. It was half wrapped in a silk handkerchief, with an unfamiliar emblem on it.
"Is that new?" she jerked her chin in its direction.
"Hm?"
"The dagger?"
Viago barely spared it a glance. "Oh, that. The Dellamorte boy gave it to me at the party."
"... As a gift?" Rookie looked at him askance.
"I don't know. I suppose so. He cornered me in the gardens and pushed it into my hands, barely stammered a couple words and then ran off."
Rookie mouth opened in silence. She took a few moments to think of the right words. "Are you close with him?"
"Hardly. But he's one of Caterina's grandsons, and she parades them around any chance she gets, so he's difficult to avoid."
Rookie leaned against the table. "You know that sounds like a courting gift. A confession."
He looked at her then. "Don't be ridiculous. I think it was some sort of apology Caterina set him up to do. Maker knows there's been enough drama in the past between Houses that there's probably one due."
Rookie shook her head in amusement but didn't press the subject. She refocused on her work, tongue poking out as she squinted at the tiny spoon. It was much more difficult to work with the tiny instrument with gloves on, but Viago always insisted for safety. Still, it would have helped if he'd gotten some smaller sized gloves. There was an embarrassing amount of extra fabric flopping loose at the end of her fingers.
"What do you plan on doing with it then?" she asked, carefully measuring spoonfuls of the venom.
"I was just going to add it to the treasury."
"Well… if you're not going to use it, can I have it?" she said cheekily.
Viago paused. And then to her surprise answered with a "I don't see why not." He waved his hand at it. "You can take it with you when we've finished brewing. Can't say House de Riva isn't using the gift then," he muttered under his breath.
"Thanks Viago!" she beamed, "I'll consider it an apology for you never taking me with you to these parties!"
He snorted and shook his head. "Ask me again when you're older and maybe I can start sending you in my stead. Now hurry up and finish measuring, silly girl, or we'll be here all day."
Read Rookie on ao3
#dragon age#datv#viago de riva#rook de riva#lucanis dellamorte#snippets from rookie#rookie#isadora de riva
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real quick because the fandom's experiencing some growing pains--reminder to be nice to new fans! yes they'll have different dynamics, energies, and ways of doing things, but that's not a bad thing
we are all here to enjoy ourselves, so let them enjoy themselves. we were all new at one point. if its harmless, who cares! block if its that much of a problem/nuisance
we do not need a fandom generational divide, please and thanks <3
(and to new fans: hi! sometimes we have genuine points about etiquette like spam and tagging conventions to make the space better for everyone, but otherwise! just have fun!)
#kotlc#i made my 'this aged me ten years' post in jest#but seeing a couple other opinions. i do not want that to turn into anything#new fans are fully welcome here#yes there's fandom history i'm happy to pass down about#trends and jokes we've had and ways we've done things before#but that does not mean it needs to stay like that#the kotlc fandom is VERY fluid#there's always people coming and going given the intended audience#so I want to say: you are welcome here#have fun#you do not need to do what we've done before
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because i finished my lectures last night it has been a fucking battle to do my readings.
#it's so annoying. i'd normally be super interested in this stuff but my brain has ticked off studying as ''we've done it! relax!'' when.#there are close to 500 pages (landscape two-page-spread) of readings. which i have not done.#<- i was expected to do this. over eight hours of active class. and submit assignments. before a 70% exam.#what the fuck. do you want me to do.#and all the readings are written by academics who have clearly never been taught to write properly!! it's a nightmare!!!#genuinely think all academics need to take a writing course.
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.
#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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save me bulletpoints,
#SHAKING MY ME UPSIDE DOWN UNTIL A COHERENTLY EXPRESSED AND ORGANIZED BACKSTORY OUTLINE FALLS OUT#I have concepts of a backstory#I MEEEAAAN I've already done a whole doc of what I had figured out at the time to send the DM when we started the campaign#but I've had more Thoughts and figured out more things since then and it's all scattered mostly throughout sketchbooks lol#step one: figure out what all has happened and in what order and also how to put it all together cohesively#step two: decide how much of it needs to be the DM's business. pare as needed.#justin's like 'simon has a lot of stuff that I'm just not bothering to tell DM it's just for me to roleplay off of'#because we don't!! trust him!!! we've been so burned by him with backstories before!!!!#BUT of course as I've said I do Need DM cooperation for some of my things#and also like. okay if I have a secret family history inside my heart thinking 'this never needs to come up'#that doesn't mean the DM won't still eventually be like 'guess whose hometown we're visiting next :)'#and then I'd you know... rather he had my stuff for it than not even if he DOES handle it all really badly :')#..... ANYWAYYYYY that was a tangent lmao. I'm trying to iron out details for MYSELF for ROLEPLAY REASONS#my OCs#felix
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ok i am NOT making fiddleford a bracelet fuck that guy (joke. joke. ford im joking)
#pk;m Bill∆#i still need to make bracelets for dipper and mabel AAAAA!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! AA A A A AA A A A !!!!!!!!!!! GOD AAAAAAAAAAUGU#NOT TO MENTION WILL but ig He's content with one of the Skills bracelets like I am so ???? idk#I have mabel's planned out already she's gonna get a leaf pattern bracelet in pinks#idk about dipper. we shall See .#i want their bracelets to be different patterns than ones we've done before but there's only so many#non alpha patterns out thereeeee fbdbxnsndnfnxsj#and we can't do alphas at ALL.#I'll figure it out but jesus christ!#'why are you making everyone bracelets' BECAUSE BRACELET MAKING IS IMPORTANT TO US#(READ: I MADE ONES FOR FORD AND STAN AND THEN OTHER PEOPLE JOINED THE SYSTEM AND I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO FEEL LEFT OUT. OKAY??)#......... actually we don't have a leaf pattern bracelet in green? what's dipper's colour again... his is dark blue. okay#if we have dark blues i can make it work#im so smarts. I'm SOOOOO smarts im gonna get started on mabel's rn so we dont fall asleep
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okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:
Fic about the ending
Abner fic
Simon's Quest
secret fic(s) :)
get the Talkers exchange set up
Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.
#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes#and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation#and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over#writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will#I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore#and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough#also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years#to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing#this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed#now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude#I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done#especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but#it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things#the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation#if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well#gonna get all this done sooner or later#talking moistly
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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Having a real autism moment over the idea of doing fieldwork
#my brain just produced the thought 'they should have a class that teaches you how to talk to people before you go to the field'#sir i don't think anyone else needs that class. i don't think the people are clamoring for bulletpoints and flowcharts of social interactio#i'm just. i don't. i don't know how to do it#i can make friends fine when we've been in a protracted situation of working together but when i have to go out and meet people???#a thing you guys have to understand about me is that i WILL just stand and stare at people like the autism creature for 10 min straight#and then walk out of the room without saying anything more#or like i will start a conversation and then i will just Not Know What To Say#and like yeah it's social anxiety maybe but it's honestly more that i can't figure out how to have normal conversations#anyways. i am anxious i will say that#like i'm really excited too and i really want to meet cool people and work with them on developing the project#but also i am not sure how this is going to go. hmmm#maybe i should have just majored in cs and sold my soul. at least then i could be weird and off-putting in peace :')#(<- should not have done that. it is good to make attempts to be social and not put myself in a bubble)#perce rambles#this makes very little sense but you can ignore me i'm just having A Moment
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On a scale from one to ten, how based of me is it that I took the GGST survey for the second time just to put a BlazBlue character that appeared in exactly one novel and then never again in one of my three "additional character I would like to see the most in the future" spots?
#ADD SEVEN TO THE GAME COWARDS#this is a maniac's wish and while i do laugh at myself for it i am also 100% serious about it. i'd love to see him in any game#or anything at all for that matter#i mean c'moooon we've done mages in fighting games already. you've put asuka in strive! what's a silly little witch man no one's ever heard#of?#just imagine... a witch guy with long flowy blonde hair and fluttery robes like asuka's who fights with water and ice magic and maybe a#sword also. now doesn't that just sound like a sight for sore eyes?#he could summon a WATER DRAGON as his cinematic super! can you fathom how cool that would look?!#if we're talking strictly in strive terms he'd probably play like a weird mix of zato asuka and ky#ky for the manner of sword usage (since we have sol nago baiken and JOHNNY as of recently)‚ zato for the feel of flowiness when it comes to#using his abilities (every move connects to the next‚ unlike with asuka who just keeps spawning geometrical bodies)#and asuka for resource management and overall aesthetic (though he could definitely be made so that you don't need an excel sheet to play#him properly arcsys please)#god i wish i had more time in my life I would absolutely learn how to mod guilty gear and mod him over asuka if i could#but if i strived to keep his original ''moveset'' (i say as if he's ever had one) blazblue would probably be the way to go since i've heard#from modders there that you could‚ hypothetically‚ mod an entire new character into the game (though it would obviously take a gargantuan#amount of work)#speaking of which‚ how in sam hell did they manage to mod sin into strive before he was even released???#logs
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ok i'm finally doing my requests (college caught us up so bad but now it's summer break)
uhhhhhh i swear there was an ask that was something about a mouth stim??? (mouth click maybe?) but now tumblr has eaten it. whoever sent that, if you see this can you resend the request?
i'll try to draw some stims also, like mouth stims, in case i vaguely land upon what they asked for
as to the others who sent in requests! yes it has been. several months. but we are going to do them now! for real this time!
#i don't want to say like inbox closed or whatever bc the number of requests is like really small#we don't mind if we get more requests#we just really did not have the mental energy to do them lol#now we do#so they'll get done#and feel free to send in more if you want!#we have a bunch of wordmojis we made for a friend before we standardized their proportions#so we just need to remake those to be more consistent and we'll post them too#but we don't have. a lot of ideas on what to post lol#other than remakes (like actually remakes of/inspired by. not tracing) of emojis we've found elsewhere that we don't like the style of#since we originally started drawing emojis to better personalize our emoji collection and were just like#hey what if we post all these emojis we're planning to make#and we decided that was a good idea so we made this blog#and then basically abandoned it for like a year lol
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Loving going to the gym, it's a great supplement for the other sport I do, both to further train the muscles I need to yeet ppl higher for cheerleading and to train the muscles that don't get trained enough from the other stuff I do but.
The gym alone could never be enough for me bc I am fundamentally a lazy person. I'm not gonna really ever push myself as far on my own as I will when we're soo close to hitting this stunt, let's do it one more time, come on
Anyway we did double base for almost the full 90 minutes yesterday (one flyer on just two bases), most of the speed upwards has to come from me, I am so sore but yes we did hit it
#we've done double base before but to a one way extension so far only in one specific combo#(our best (and lightest) flyer our best (and strongest) base and me (usually a back probably the strongest person on the team)#and now we did it with a different flyer and a different base#and it took a while but we got there! but fuck at the end i really had to push to still put all my energy in#but you gotta put all your energy in every time or we don't get the height#and then the other base has no chance at catching the flyers other foot#(that's why most of the strength up come from me - she needs to turn to get fully under the flyer and catch her second foot)#(once we're up there most of the weight is on her though I'm not gonna pretend I'm doing all the work here lmao)#but yeah it's basically squats to overhead extention over and over again with a what 50? 55kg flyer?#and we'd already done a lot of double base to elevator (so shoulder high) with our other less experienced flyer#she'd never done it before at all which means she puts less momentum into it herself and she stands up less straight#so you have to balance out more on the way up#but we did it! I'm so proud of her! she hasn't been in this long and she's so good!#but yeah now my legs and ass and shoulders are all quite sore lol#but it's good. i wanna do partnerstunts eventually and well. even with our ridiculously light as a feather flyer that's difficult#so this is good practice bc well. I'd never push myself this far in the gym lol
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say it again — satoru gojo x fem!reader
you've been married to satoru gojo for so long, but you've kept it quiet, so you can imagine his satisfaction at finally hearing you call him "husband" in public.
You've managed to keep your marriage to Satoru Gojo under wraps for nearly two year now. It isn't that you're ashamed—far from it.
Being married to one of the most powerful sorcerers simply comes with complications, especially given his clan's tendency to meddle in everything.
So you both agreed to keep it quiet. No flashy announcements, no public displays, just you and him. Sure, it means wearing your ring on a chain under your clothes and careful planning for your living arrangements, but it's worth it for the peace and quiet.
That is, until you slip up at the most mundane possible moment.
You're both at an official appointment regarding some property documentation. The clerk has been droning on about paperwork when she asks about your relationship to Satoru for the forms.
"Oh, he's my husband," you reply absently, still scanning the documents in front of you.
The scratching of Satoru's pen stops abruptly. You look up to find him staring at you with the most ridiculous expression—somewhere between absolutely delighted and utterly self-satisfied.
"What was that?" he asks, a grin spreading across his face.
You blink, realizing what you've just said. "I mean—"
"No, no, say it again." His eyes are practically shining now. "What am I to you?"
"Satoru," you warn, very aware of the confused clerk watching your exchange.
"Come on," he says, leaning closer. "One more time. What am I?"
"We're in public," you hiss, but you can feel your cheeks warming under his gaze.
"Please?" He bats his eyelashes at you in that ridiculous way of his. "For your beloved husband?"
"You're impossible," you mutter, but you can't help the small smile tugging at your lips.
"Impossibly charming? Impossibly handsome? Impossibly perfect as your husband?"
The clerk clears her throat. "Should I... put down 'married' then?"
"Yes!" Satoru answers before you can. "Put down that I am this wonderful person's husband. Their spouse. Their better half. Their—"
"She gets it," you cut him off.
But Satoru isn't done. For the rest of the appointment, he manages to work the word "husband" into nearly every sentence. "As her husband, I think we should sign here." "My lovely spouse and I would like copies of that." "Do you need both myself and my better half to initial this?"
By the time you leave the office, you're ready to strangle him.
"You're enjoying this way too much," you say as you walk to the car.
"Can you blame me?" He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close. "It's not every day I get to hear you call me your husband in public. Usually it's all 'this is Satoru' or 'we're together' or my personal favorite, 'yes, I do unfortunately know him.'"
You roll your eyes, but can't help leaning into him. "You know why we keep it quiet."
"I know, I know. The clan would be insufferable." He presses a kiss to your temple. "But maybe we should tell them anyway? Can you imagine their faces when they find out we've been married this whole time?"
"They'll have our heads for this."
"Perhaps. But you have to admit, the thought is tempting. No more sneaking around, no more hiding that ring." He catches your hand, thumb brushing over where your ring should be. "I want everyone to know exactly who you are to me. And what I am to you. What was it again?"
"Don't push your luck."
"Come on," he coaxes, "just say it once more."
You pretend to consider it. "And what do I get out of this?"
"My eternal love and devotion?" He gives you a long look. "And I'll do the dishes for a week."
"You're supposed to do those anyway," you point out, but he's already pulling you closer, that insufferable smirk of his growing wider.
"Say it again, love," he says, and the way he looks at you then—eyes soft and full of adoration—makes your breath catch in your throat.
All your defenses melt away under that gaze, the one he reserves just for you, the one that makes you forget why you ever try to deny him anything.
"Husband," you breathe, and feel him tense slightly against you.
"Just like that," he whispers. "Though I prefer when you add my name to it."
"Don't get ahead of yourself."
"That's what I do best," he says. "Besides, my darling wife, I think you secretly love it when I am."
The way he says 'wife' sends a shiver down your spine—something you know he notices from the satisfied look in his eyes. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly yours," he corrects, and despite his playful tone, there's something sincere in his gaze. "What do you say? Ready to scandalize some elders?"
Looking at him now, you can't remember why you ever wanted to keep this secret. "With you? Always."
He doesn't wait for more, just leans in and captures your lips with his, and you think maybe going public isn't such a terrible idea after all.
© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk drabble#gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#gojo fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen drabble
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Horses: Since There Seems To Be A Knowledge Gap
I'm going to go ahead and preface this with: I comment pretty regularly on clips and photos featuring horses and horseback riding, often answering questions or providing explanations for how or why certain things are done. I was a stable hand and barrel racer growing up, and during my 11 year tenure on tumblr, Professional Horse Commentary is a very niche, yet very necessary, subject that needs filling. Here are some of the literary and creative gaps I've noticed in well meaning (and very good!) creators trying to portray horses and riding realistically that... well, most of you don't seem to even be aware of, because you wouldn't know unless you worked with horses directly!
Some Of The Most Common Horse + Riding Mistakes I See:
-Anybody can ride any horse if you hold on tight enough/have ridden once before.
Nope. No, no, no, no, aaaaaaaand, no. Horseback riding has, historically, been treated as a life skill taught from surprisingly young ages. It wasn't unusual in the pre-vehicular eras to start teaching children as young as 4 to begin to ride, because horses don't come with airbags, and every horse is different. For most adults, it can take months or years of regular lessons to learn to ride well in the saddle, and that's just riding; not working or practicing a sport.
Furthermore, horses often reject riders they don't know. Unless a horse has been trained like a teaching horse, which is taught to tolerate riders of all skill and experience levels, it will take extreme issue with having some random person try to climb on their back. Royalty, nobility, and the knighted classes are commonly associated with the "having a favorite special horse" trope, because it's true! Just like you can have a particularly special bond with a pet or service animal that verges on parental, the same can apply with horses. Happy horses love their owners/riders, and will straight-up do their best to murder anyone that tries to ride them without permission.
-Horses are stupid/have no personality.
There isn't a more dangerous assumption to make than assuming a horse is stupid. Every horse has a unique personality, with traits that can be consistent between breeds (again, like cat and dog breeds often have distinct behavior traits associated with them), but those traits manifest differently from animal to animal.
My mother had an Arabian horse, Zipper, that hated being kicked as a signal to gallop. One day, her mom and stepdad had a particularly unpleasant visitor; an older gentleman that insisted on riding Zipper, but refused to listen to my mother's warnings never to kick him. "Kicking" constitutes hitting the horse's side(s) with your heels, whether you have spurs on or not. Most horses only need a gentle squeeze to know what you want them to do.
Anyway, Zipper made eye-contact with my mom, asking for permission. He understood what she meant when she nodded at him. He proceeded to give this asshole of a rider road rash on the side of the paddock fence and sent him to the emergency room. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't have the permission from the rider he respected, and was intelligent enough to ask, "mind if I teach this guy a lesson?" with his eyes, and understand, "Go for it, buddy," from my mom in return.
-Riding bareback is possible to do if you hold onto the horse's mane really tight.
Riding a horse bareback (with no saddle, stirrups, or traditional harness around the horse's head) is unbelievably difficult to learn, particularly have testicles and value keeping them. Even professional riders and equestrians find ourselves relying on tack (the stuff you put on a horse to ride it) to stay stable on our horses, even if we've been riding that particular horse for years and have a very positive, trusting relationship.
Horses sweat like people do. The more they run, the more their hair saturates with sweat and makes staying seated on them slippery. Hell, an overworked horse can sweat so heavily that the saddle slips off its back. It's also essential to brush and bathe a horse before it's ridden in order to keep it healthier, so their hair is often quite slick from either being very clean or very damp. In order to ride like that, you have to develop the ability to synchronize your entire body's rhythm's with the rhythm of the horse's body beneath you, and quite literally move as one. Without stirrups, most people can't do it, and some people can never master bareback riding no matter how many years they spend trying to learn.
-You can be distracted and make casual conversation while a horse is standing untethered in the middle of a barn or field.
At every barn I've ever worked at, it's been standard practice with every single horse, regardless of age or temperament, to secure their heads while they're being tacked up or tacked down. The secures for doing this are simple ropes with clips that are designed to attach to the horse's halter (the headwear for a horse that isn't being ridden; they have no bit that goes in the horse's mouth, and no reins for a rider to hold) on metal O rings on either side of the horse's head. This is not distressing to the horse, because we give them plenty of slack to turn their heads and look around comfortably.
The problem with trying to tack up an unrestrained horse while chatting with fellow stable hands or riders is that horses know when you're distracted! And they often try to get away with stuff when they know you're not looking! In a barn, a horse often knows where the food is stored, and will often try to tiptoe off to sneak into the feed room.
Horses that get into the feed room are often at a high risk of dying. While extremely intelligent, they don't have the ability to throw up, and they don't have the ability to tell that their stomach is full and should stop eating. Allowing a horse into a feed/grain room WILL allow it to eat itself to death.
Other common woes stable hands and riders deal with when trying to handle a horse with an unrestrained head is getting bitten! Horses express affection between members of their own herd, and those they consider friends and family, through nibbling and surprisingly rough biting. It's not called "horseplay" for nothing, because during my years working with horses out in the pasture, it wasn't uncommon at all for me to find individuals with bloody bite marks on their withers (that high part on the middle of the back of their shoulders most people instinctively reach for when they try to get up), and on their backsides. I've been love-bitten by horses before, and while flattering, they hurt like hell on fleshy human skin.
So, for the safety of the horse, and everybody else, always make a show of somehow controlling the animal's head when hands-on and on the ground with them.
-Big Horse = War Horse
Startlingly, the opposite is usually the case! Draft and carriage horses, like Percherons and Friesians, were never meant to be used in warfare. Draft horses are usually bred to be extremely even-tempered, hard to spook, and trustworthy around small children and animals. Historically, they're the tractors of the farm if you could afford to upgrade from oxen, and were never built to be fast or agile in a battlefield situation.
More importantly, just because a horse is imposing and huge doesn't make it a good candidate for carrying heavy weights. A real thing that I had to be part of enforcing when I worked at a teaching ranch was a weight limit. Yeah, it felt shitty to tell people they couldn't ride because we didn't have any horses strong enough to carry them due to their weight, but it's a matter of the animal's safety. A big/tall/chonky horse is more likely to be built to pull heavy loads, but not carry them flat on their spines. Horses' muscular power is predominantly in their ability to run and pull things, and too heavy a rider can literally break a horse's spine and force us to euthanize it.
Some of the best war horses out there are from the "hot blood" family. Hot blooded horses are often from dry, hot, arid climates, are very small and slight (such as Arabian horses), and are notoriously fickle and flighty. They're also a lot more likely to paw/bite/kick when spooked, and have even sometimes been historically trained to fight alongside their rider if their rider is dismounted in combat; kicking and rearing to keep other soldiers at a distance.
-Any horse can be ridden if it likes you enough.
Just like it can take a lifetime to learn to ride easily, it can take a lifetime of training for a horse to comfortably take to being ridden or taking part in a job, like pulling a carriage. Much like service animals, horses are typically trained from extremely young ages to be reared into the job that's given to them, and an adult horse with no experience carrying a rider is going to be just as scared as a rider who's never actually ridden a horse.
Just as well, the process of tacking up a horse isn't always the most comfortable experience for the horse. To keep the saddle centered on the horse's back when moving at rough or fast paces, it's essential to tighten the belly strap (cinch) of the saddle as tightly as possible around the horse's belly. For the horse, it's like wearing a tight corset, chafes, and even leaves indents in their skin afterward that they love having rinsed with water and scratched. Some horses will learn to inflate their bellies while you're tightening the cinch so you can't get it as tight as it needs to be, and then exhale when they think you're done tightening it.
When you're working with a horse wearing a bridle, especially one with a bit, it can be a shocking sensory experience to a horse that's never used a bit before. While they lack a set of teeth naturally, so the bit doesn't actually hurt them, imagine having a metal rod shoved in your mouth horizontally! Unless you understand why it's important for the person you care about not dying, you'd be pretty pissed about having to keep it in there!
-Horseback riding isn't exercise.
If you're not using every muscle in your body to ride with, you're not doing it right.
Riding requires every ounce of muscle control you have in your entire body - although this doesn't mean it wasn't realistic for people with fat bodies to stay their weight while also being avid riders; it doesn't mean the muscles aren't there. To stay on the horse, you need to learn how it feels when it moves at different gaits (walk, trot, canter, gallop), how to instruct it to switch leads (dominant legs; essential for precise turning and ease of communication between you and the horse), and not falling off. While good riders look like they're barely moving at all, that's only because they're good riders. They know how to move so seamlessly with the horse, feeling their movements like their own, that they can compensate with their legs and waists to not bounce out of the saddle altogether or slide off to one side. I guarantee if you ride a horse longer than 30 minutes for the first time, your legs alone will barely work and feel like rubber.
-Horses aren't affectionate.
Horses are extraordinarily affectionate toward the right people. As prey animals, they're usually wary of people they don't know, or have only recently met. They also - again, like service animals - have a "work mode" and a "casual mode" depending upon what they're doing at the time. Horses will give kisses like puppies, wiggle their upper lips on your hair/arms to groom you, lean into neck-hugs, and even cuddle in their pasture or stall if it's time to nap and you join them by leaning against their sides. If they see you coming up from afar and are excited to see you, they'll whinny and squeal while galloping to meet you at the gate. They'll deliberately swat you with their tails to tease you, and will often follow you around the pasture if they're allowed to regardless of what you're up to.
-Riding crops are cruel.
Only cruel people use riding crops to hurt their horses. Spurs? I personally object to, because any horse that knows you well doesn't need something sharp jabbing them in the side for emphasis when you're trying to tell them where you want them to go. Crops? Are genuinely harmless tools used for signalling a horse.
I mean, think about it. Why would crops be inherently cruel instruments if you need to trust a horse not to be afraid of you and throw you off when you're riding it?
Crops are best used just to lightly tap on the left or right flank of the horse, and aren't universally used with all forms of riding. You'll mainly see crops used with English riding, and they're just tools for communicating with the horse without needing to speak.
-There's only one way to ride a horse.
Not. At. All. At most teaching ranches, you'll get two options: Western, or English, because they tend to be the most popular for shows and also the most common to find equipment for. English riding uses a thinner, smaller saddle, narrower stirrups, and much thinner bridles. I, personally, didn't like English style riding because I never felt very stable in such a thin saddle with such small stirrups, and didn't start learning until my mid teens. English style riding tends to focus more on your posture and deportment in the saddle, and your ability to show off your stability and apparent immovability on the horse. It was generally just a bit too stiff and formal for me.
Western style riding utilizes heavier bridles, bigger saddles (with the iconic horn on the front), and broader stirrups. Like its name may suggest, Western riding is more about figuring out how to be steady in the saddle while going fast and being mobile with your upper body. Western style riding is generally the style preferred for working-type shows, such as horseback archery, gunning, barrel racing, and even rodeo riding.
-Wealthy horse owners have no relationship with their horses.
This is loosely untrue, but I've seen cases where it is. Basically, horses need to feel like they're working for someone that matters to them in order to behave well with a rider and not get impatient or bored. While it's common for people to board horses at off-property ranches (boarding ranches) for cost and space purposes, it's been historically the truth that having help is usually necessary with horses at some point. What matters is who spends the most time with the animal treating it like a living being, rather than a mode of transport or a tool. There's no harm in stable hands handling the daily upkeep; hay bales and water buckets are heavy, and we're there to profit off the labor you don't want or have the time to do. You get up early to go to work; we get up early to look after your horses. Good owners/boarders visit often and spend as much of their spare time as they can with spending quality work and playtime with their horses. Otherwise, the horses look to the stable hands for emotional support and care.
So, maybe you're writing a knight that doesn't really care much for looking after his horse, but his squire is really dedicated to keeping up with it? There's a better chance of the horse having a more affectionate relationship with the squire thanks to the time the squire spends on looking after it, while the horse is more likely to tolerate the knight that owns it as being a source of discipline if it misbehaves. That doesn't mean the knight is its favorite person. When it comes to horses, their love must be earned, and you can only earn it by spending time with them hands-on.
-Horses can graze anywhere without concern.
This is a mistake that results in a lot of premature deaths! A big part of the cost of owning a horse - even before you buy one - is having the property that will be its pasture assessed for poisonous plants, and having those plants removed from being within the animal's reach. This is an essential part of farm upkeep every year, because horses really can't tell what's toxic and what isn't. One of the reasons it's essential to secure a horse when you aren't riding it is to ensure it only has a very limited range to graze on, and it's your responsibility as the owner/rider to know how to identify dangerous plants and keep your horses away from them.
There's probably more. AMA in my askbox if you have any questions, but that's all for now. Happy writing.
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