#you do not need to do what we've done before

[starlighttsv]

Lego sets - Paige’s daughter

💌 Syn: paige buys lilah some gifts as a reward for getting good grades

»»— warnings: las!paige - i wrote this way before the draft lottery and was to lazy to change the team and teammates

»»— notes: finally finished bringing stuff over from wattpad!! now i just have to bring stuff from here over to wattpad 😔

»»— word count: 1.6k

»»— pair: paige x daughter!oc || lilah bueckers

Paige, Cameron, Rickea, and Rae all went to target today to get some necessities but Paige was also getting a few things for her daughter, as she had done really good on her spelling test and math test so P wanted to give Lilah a little reward. Paige and Lilah always have mama-daughter dates, and most of those date nights are exactly like this: eating take out or cooking together, baking some type of dessert (mostly already made cookie dough) and building legos while watching some game show on Netflix. It's both of their favorite things to do and they always cherish those nights as they don't get to do it a lot during the wnba season and Paige knew Lilahs gonna grow out of it eventually.

"What about Star Wars?" Rae asks holding up the gaint Darth Vader Lego set "we already did it a month ago" P says not even looking at her, focusing on the Lego boxes in front of her "okayyy what about the Eiffel Tower?" "Did it like 3 three weeks ago" "Stitch?" "A few years ago. Did it my fifth year of college." "Flowers" "have done multiple different ones" "alright we give up" Rickea says as she got tired of them all listing things off, just to immediately be shut down by Paige

Paige ignores them as they keep complaining about anything and everything, just looking at the legos trying to find some good ones, that P knows Lilah will love. That's when she sees a Moana set and a Disney Castle set, which is perfect for Lilah. Paige grabs those and put them in the cart that her and Rae are sharing, Cameron and Rickea sharing another cart.

"Finally! Can we go now?" Rae exclaims "No. I need to get a few more things. You guys can go to the front if you want, I'll meet you when I'm done." Paige says trying to make them not be annoyed anymore, as they all have been at the store for almost two hours, getting stuff they all needed or wanted in their houses. All of their feet's are starting to hurt and not mention they all have been stopped by fans like every 5 minutes.

"No, we're not gonna leave you alone when we've been stopped like 100 times already by fans. What else do you need to get? And why was it so important you get legos today?"Cameron cuts in before any of the other girls could "I need to get some cookie dough, tru fru, milk, chicken tenders, mac and cheese, carrots, mixed fruit, and a stuffed animal. And to answer your second question, Lilah got a B+ on her spelling test and a C+ on her math test, so we're gonna have a mama-daughter date night. The legos, Tru fru, and Stuffed animal are her reward and the food is her favorite meal, and we always bake something on m&d nights." Paige tells them "wait she passed? Those were the ones she was struggling with right?" Rickea asked "yeah, I was helping her study words in the locker room." Cameron cuts in before Paige can say anything "yeah she was struggling with those subjects a lot, so that's why I'm giving her a reward. She doesn't know that I know yet, as her teacher told me so it's gonna be a surprise."

"Alright so let's split up, me and cam will go get the cookie dough, milk, tru fru, and chicken tenders. You and Rae go get the stuffed animal, carrots, Mac and cheese, and mixed fruit. We can meet up at the self checkout. What kind of cookie dough and tru fru?" Rickea adds

"Chocolate chip cookie dough and for tru fru, bananas and strawberries." Paige answers making Rickea nod, and start turning around making Paige and Rae start doing the same, heading to where the stuffed animals are. "Hey Paige, wait" Rickea stops and turns around making P and Rae also do that "when you’re getting the stuffed animal, get some mini brands and lol dolls. I know Lil likes that stuff, My treat." Rickea continues "alright. Are you sure?" P asks "yep, I'm positive." Rickea says making Paige nod "ok, Thank you." Paige replies making Rickea nod and turn back around,- both groups going in different directions to get the rest of the stuff.

They all met up like planned and payed for their own stuff, Paige dropped them off at Cameron's apartment as they’re all getting ready together to go to a bar, and Paige took all her store bags home and set up what could be set up, before leaving to go pick lilah up from school. On the drive back to their home P told lilah that there was a surprise waiting for her making her get excited and start asking and guessing what it was. Obviously Paige wouldn't tell her.

When they got home Lilah was rushing Paige to unbuckle her and get her out of the car, at least Lilah still followed those rules when P knew she really wanted to just run to the house. Paige lifted her out of the car and set her on the ground "don't run yet, I need to get a few things from the car alright?" Paige asks her making Lilah immediately pout, Paige has learned to just ignored that though.

P made her way to the trunk and got her bag and lilahs school bag and then shut the trunk, lilah was still bouncing on the heels of her feet "cmon mama, I wanna see the surprise"

"Alright Alright, come here" Paige says chuckling slightly. P picks lilah up and put her on her hip and locks the car with her keys, then started making her way to the elevator to take the two of them to their apartment

Lilah is still trying to guess what it is and has listed the surprise about 4 times but P lied each time and said she was wrong. They make it to their apartment and Paige set Lilah down in front of the door, grabbed the keys out of her pocket - unlocking and opening the door for Lilah, which she immediately runs through.

She looks in the kitchen first and doesn't see anything as P put all the food away when she dropped the bags off, then she goes into the living room. Bingo!

She sees the legos, stuffed animal, lol dolls, and mini brands set up on the table, she sees the blankets and pillows that Paige brought out and put on the couch, and she sees their favorite game show "the circle" loaded up on the tv

"MAMA AND DAUGHTER DAY?!" She yells mispronouncing daughter "yep! You did so good on your math and spelling test, I figured you deserved a reward. Rickea bought you the lol dolls and mini brands though so you’ll need to thank her next time you see her. "

"I will! Thank you mama!" "Your welcome princess! But there is more, for dinner we are gonna have chicken tenders, mac and cheese, mixed fruit, and carrots. For dessert I got chocolate chip cookie dough, and another part of your reward is tru fru." She just squealed and ran up hugging Paige’s legs, P bent down a little and put one of her hands on Lilahs head and the other on her back, trying her best to hug Lilah back with the gaint height difference

"Alright babe, why don't you go get changed into your pjs and we will start dinner once you come back?" "Okay!" Lilah says and then runs off to her room

Paige goes to the kitchen and gets the chicken and mac and cheese out, filling a pot with water and turning the stove on. Once that's done P goes to her room and changes into her green plaid pj pants and a UConn zip up jacket. Walking back into the kitchen Paige sees Lilah wearing her Olaf onesie Azzi bought her so they could match, standing on her foot stool, leaning on the kitchen counter watching the water

"You ready to make dinner?" Paige asks her while walking closer and looking into the pot of water, seeing that it is boiling "yeah!" Paige opens the box of Kraft Mac and cheese and hand it to her  "dump that in the water"

After they made dinner and ate it, they put the leftovers away and got comfortable in the living room, setting blankets and pillows on the floor and making a giant bed/ pillow type thing in front of the living room table

Lilah decided she wanted to open the lol dolls and mini brands now, so while she was doing that Paige opened the Disney castle Legos and started reading the instructions

"Mama look" Lilah said excitedly making Paige look over at her and see her holding a few small food items from the mini brands "wow baby, you’re gonna have your very own pantry soon" that made Lilah giggle a little bit. Once she saw what P was doing Lilah put the other stuff away and pointed to the tv "circle?" Paige asked even though she knew what Lilah wanted, already grabbing the remote and turning on Netflix while she was nodding.

Once the shows turned on they both start working together (pretty much just Paige, while Lilah plays with the legos) to build the Disney castle. Eventually it was built and they cleaned up their mess, laying down on the couch and Lilah laying on Paige’s chest. Paige turned on a Disney movie for Lilah but she fell asleep holding onto Paige’s jacket not even 15 minutes in.

🏷️ @melpthatsme @rebecca-woso @authentic-girl03

[messedupfan]

Chapter 25

Summary: Persistent as ever, Jean and Anna recruit Jean's mother to help with their cause. Which sparks an important conversation between Wanda and Y/n.

A/n: Helloooo! I know I'm slow with posting lately. Work has been CRAZY. Hopefully I'll get in a better rhythm soon. Especially with the hell that is coming upon us these next four years. We'll need each other to get through! Have a good day and enjoy!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist  | All Chapters

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You are folding laundry for you and Rachel when your phone goes off in your pocket. You pause for a moment and pull your phone out to see that it's Jean's mom calling you. It's not unusual for her to call but it's not as common as it used to be. 

“Hey Mrs. Grey, how's it going?” You say cheerfully. 

Mrs. Grey makes a disapproving sound. “Y/n I've told you many times since the divorce, you can still call me mom.” 

You laugh at her slight upset over the misuse of her formal name. “How are you doing, Mom?” You ask as you lean your head to the side to hold your phone between your head and shoulder. 

“That's better,” she cheers. You hear some rustling around on her end. “I am doing well. I just came back to town to check on the house. The last tenants just moved out and I came to assess damages before I hire the cleaning crew and repair guy.” 

“Oh, do you need a lot of repairs done? You know that I'm always happy to help,” you offer while you resume folding.

“No, no, dear. I couldn't ask you to do that for us,” she says and now you're more confused. 

“Oh, I just figured that's why you're calling,” you say as you set the newly folded shirt on a stack of others. 

“No dear, I was calling to ask you to lunch. Are you busy this afternoon?” She says happily. You look at your watch and consider your options. You're not certain you want to be spending time alone with your former mother-in-law. But there are worse ways to spend an afternoon.

“I would love to meet with you. Where did you make reservations?” You ask, knowing that she most likely already made reservations. She laughs and mentions that you know her too well. “I will see you at one,” you promise and say your goodbyes. While you finish folding and start getting ready you run through the scenarios of how the lunch is going to go. 

As you arrive at the restaurant, your stomach begins to turn. It's a nice place. The last time you went to a nice place with one of Jean's parents, it was with her father asking you to convince Jean to not go through with the divorce. Since then you haven't been asked to dinner or lunch with either of them. 

Mrs. Grey greets you with a hug as you arrive at the table. She gives you a kiss on each cheek and she squeezes your arms as she looks at you. “You look great, I love what you've done with your hair. It's nice to see it cleaned up and natural like that.” 

You smile at the compliment. She has seen you with many different hairstyles over the years. She has almost never had anything nice to say about your hair until now. Your hair was growing out uneven because of the mullet so you had to cut it short in order for it to grow out properly. “Yeah, well, it wasn't working for me for a bit there. You look wonderful! How are things with you and Mr. Grey? I hear the two of you have been doing a lot of traveling.” 

Mrs. Grey nods and moves to sit, “We've been good. All of our kids are so spread out, it's nice to have a reason to go somewhere. Meet all of our new grandbabies. I just love being a grandma now,” she grins as she lays out the cloth napkin on her lap. You follow as you look around the restaurant, feeling a bit out of place. It was a very nice restaurant. 

“Oh yeah, I had heard that Roger finally had a kid,” you say as you lift up the menu to look at the pricing. 

“Yeah, yeah, he's doing great, very happy to be a father,” she says as she goes through the menu herself. “Don't be shy now, order what you want. It's my treat!” She reminds you in a cherry tone. Something tells you that things might eventually take a turn for the worst and you do not want to leave her with a big bill. You want to be able to leave money to cover your portion of the bill. 

“I appreciate that, Mom,” it feels a little foreign to call her that after all of these years. But if it makes her happy, then that's what you'll do to appease her. 

You proceed to order what you can afford. You ask her about how your former in-laws are. She mentions that they miss having you officially part of the family. That none of them get along with Anna which makes you laugh since none of them actually have to deal with Jean's wife the way that you do. 

You update her on your life, leaving out that you're seeing someone. Especially when she presses for the information. You don't let up because it's not the time to. Besides, you're almost certain if you tell her anything she will tell Jean then she and her wife will be on your case about it. Then Jean will recruit Kate and the information will continue to spread like rapid fire. 

When you're able to drop the subject of your love-life you talk about how proud you are of your daughter. How great she's doing in school. The friends that she has made. How kind she is. How strong she is becoming. 

Elaine watches you go on and on about her first granddaughter. She is impressed by the way you and her daughter have really stepped up and took on your roles as parents for her grandchild. She knows that she was harsh when the news first came out. But it's clear that neither of you hold her poor reactions against her. 

Finally, once you've both finished your meals, you ask her what is really going on. Elaine dabs her lips with her cloth napkin. She sips her wine. She clears her throat and she looks up at you. 

“My daughter wants to expand her family,” she states in a professional tone. She is a very good negotiator. Her entire adult life and career has been about getting her way. But you aren't nervous, not about this. “And I'm asking you to reconsider helping her do that.” 

You nod your head with a growing smirk as you wipe your mouth with your napkin. “She recruited you,” you state with amusement dancing in your eyes. 

“She is my daughter, I would do anything for her. You should know something about that,” she states with her cold stare. 

“Yes, well, my answer is still the same. She can find someone else to grow her family with. It's not going to be me,” you state as firmly as she was speaking to you. 

Elaine sets her checkbook on the table and you know exactly where this is heading. She tried this with you many times before. Had you accepted any of them, Rachel wouldn't have been born, she wouldn't have you in her life, and the divorce would have been an annulment shortly after you had gotten married. 

“Stop, you know that you can't buy me off Mrs. Grey. I won't do it,” you stand firm. You pull out your wallet and leave whatever cash you have on hand but she stops you. 

“What if I can guarantee you have custody?” She says and you scoff. She was not about to start negotiations. “Jean says she won't budge on it but I think I can convince my daughter what a great influence you are as a parent. Certainly better than that so-called wife of hers,” she rolls her eyes. 

You almost want to laugh at the irony of this conversation. “I can't believe you, the woman who tried to pay me to convince her daughter to have an abortion, is now asking me to get her daughter pregnant.”

“Times have changed. She's not getting any younger and she cannot afford to pay for treatment to-” 

“Why don't you pay for it for her then?” You interrupt her. She clamps her mouth shut. Astonished by your abrupt question. You don't typically stand up for yourself in such a way. You are known to walk away to think or remain quiet. But speaking up to her like this, it's unusual. “If I decide to have another child, it will not be with your daughter. I will not have her and everyone else she mentions this to bully me into changing my mind.” You sigh as the upset quickly leaves your body. “Thank you for the meal, I would love for us to stay in touch and meet again under different circumstances. Better circumstances.” 

You walk out of that restaurant and breathe in the fresh air to calm yourself down. You want to call Jean to tell her off but you don't. Instead, you call Wanda and ask if she is available. It had been a couple of weeks since her son's birthday where she admitted that she was having conflicting feelings about you and her. You gave her space the last couple of weeks to see if she would reach out on her own. But you needed her now. 

Luckily, she hears the upset tone in your voice and asks you to come over without question. Next thing you know, you're parking your truck in her garage. You walk into her house and she greets you in the laundry room with a hug. 

She takes your hand and leads you to her room. “My mom is having a book club meeting,” she says softly as the two of you quietly climb the stairs. You look over your shoulder to see her mom surrounded by a group of women her age engrossed in a conversation discussing presumably the book that's in their hands. 

You sit on the edge of Wanda’s bed and look at your hands. You let out a big breath. You have missed being in her presence the last couple of weeks and part of you hates that this is the way that you return to her presence. 

Wanda stands by the door, she has her fingers laced together as she observes you. She has missed having you around. She knows that she is the one who asked for space but she didn't consider that you would actually respect that request. No matter how good this time apart has been for her. It gave her time to reflect and realize that the only red flags you have are the red flags she has. Nothing extreme, nothing she can't handle. She has been meaning to call you and invite you over but she couldn't explain why she needed the space so she waited until she could. She expected the next time she'd see you, you would have that award winning smile of yours. She didn't expect to see you this way. This upset. 

“What happened, Y/n?” She finally asks. You look up at her and blink a couple of times.

“I…” you sigh and lick your lips. “Jean got her mom to ask me to help her have another baby.” You rip the bandaid off not seeing any other way to approach the subject. Wanda gasps as she sits next to you. 

“I thought they moved on from that,” Wanda says as she puts her hand on your back.

You nod, “So did I, but they completely blind sided me. Her mom was willing to pay me off.” 

Wanda shakes her head. “Unbelievable. I cannot believe her. I cannot believe she would do that! After everything that happened the last time she asked you. I cannot believe she would get her mom involved in this to pay you off!” 

You agree, it is insane that they would bring this up again. Let alone bring her mother into this. You cannot believe that it has come to this. You almost want to cave just so that they'd leave you alone about this. You sigh as you reach for Wanda's hand. “Should I give them a baby? I mean, not in the way they wanted but I don't know. Should I just… donate to them. Am I the one that's just being crazy and stubborn?” You ask as you think about the amount of stories you've found online where families have done this sort of thing. That a couple that cannot produce a child on their own approached their ex partner to have another baby together. And they accept with no issues. You're starting to think you were being selfish.

“Y/n, you're not being crazy. You don't want to do that. It's your choice, you have a choice in this and you chose not to do it. That is something they have to respect. The whole thing is completely unfair to you.” Wanda reminds you as she turns your head to face her by pulling your chin. “Yes, had you agreed the first time, it could have been seen as this selfless beautiful thing that you did. But I've watched you tear yourself apart about this. It would have destroyed you to agree to it. You would have regretted it the moment that she announced that she was pregnant. You would have regretted it every week you had to pick up Rachel and pretend that her sibling is not your child too. You would have hated yourself when one day that child found out the truth and felt like you abandoned them. You made the right decision not only for yourself now but for everyone in the future.”

You listen to Wanda as she speaks so strongly about your decision. Defending you against your thoughts of yourself and against the perception of everyone else against you. 

She has a point. This scenario can only be a beautiful one if everyone was in agreement. But you don't want this. That was never in your mind in terms of expanding your family. The thought never occurred to you that they'd one day approach you about helping them with that especially since Anna seemed disinterested in the idea of ever caring for a baby. She would tell people the reason she wanted to adopt was because she could avoid the baby stage. 

Now she wants to ask this huge thing of you because she is insecure of her role in Rachel's life? You could not believe it. 

“You're right,” you say as you hold eye contact with her. You hadn't realized just how much you've missed gazing into those green eyes of hers until now. “I'm sorry to dump this on you. How are you doing? Have you figured out what you needed to?” 

Wanda shakes her head as she scoots closer to you. “This is something serious. I'm glad you came to me with this instead of sitting alone in your apartment or going to Bucky and Steve whose solutions are typically to just let you vent and drink. Which is not helpful because then they just dump you onto me.” You let out a soft huff of a laugh as you nod because it's true. She caresses your cheek with the back of her fingers as she pulls her bottom lip under her teeth with her tongue. Her eyes bounce around, gazing into your eyes, glancing at your lips. “And I have, by the way. Figured out what I needed to, I mean. I've missed you and I think I'm ready to start telling people about us. Not today or tomorrow but… soon.” She says nervously. You break out into a big grin and pull her against you in a celebratory hug. 

“That just made my day, truly,” you say as you continue to hold her close. Wanda starts to push against you by your shoulders to create some space. As you're about to apologize, she keeps you quiet with her lips on yours. It has felt like a lifetime since you've been able to hold her and kiss her. You're not certain when the last time was and you don't care to think about it as you lay on top of her on her bed.

“We have to be quiet,” she whispers as your lips are on her neck and her fingers are working on your jeans. “I don't want us to embarrass my mom in front of her friends.” 

You chuckle at the statement. “You mean you have to be quiet,” you remind her as your hands slip under her shirt. She lets out a soft whisper and you chuckle again. “See?” 

She rolls her eyes and mutters, “Shut up.”

After, you are holding Wanda in your arms as the pair of you settle down. You start to think about the future. Consider when exactly you will be ready to have another baby. It just seems like it's too late. Rachel is in middle school, she is grown up. When the kids are grown you're not supposed to have more, you're supposed to wait to have grandkids. Then you remind yourself that you are still young enough to have kids. In fact, this is how you have them the proper way. Or at least the way that stable adults have families. 

There's also the fact that Wanda might not want to have more kids. She did try to expand her family but it didn't work and instead her family fell apart. You hate that she blames herself for what Vision did to their family. You clench your jaw at the thought and your arm tenses up. Wanda notices and starts to rub your arm softly. 

“What's on your mind?” Wanda asks with eyes closed as she presses her head further into her pillow. 

You hesitate to speak. This isn't the time to ask about the future of your family with her. This is the time to hold her and worship her. To be present with her and not spinning around in your head. You kiss her cheek as you try to calm down and return to the moment with her. She looks so relaxed and comfortable. You don't want to change that. She deserves to be relaxed for a moment. 

“Nothing, it can wait until tomorrow,” you whisper as you loosen your hold on her. 

“Mmm no, we can talk now. If you need,” Wanda fights her sleep as she tries to open her eyes. You shake your head with a smile. 

“Go to sleep, we can talk about it tomorrow,” you repeat yourself as you caress her cheek. Wanda tries to hold onto consciousness a bit longer. It was a little early for bedtime but she was exhausted and perfectly satisfied. Every muscle in her body was asleep after the massage you had given her. As well as the many other things you did to pleasure her.

She doesn't fight you or her body anymore. She falls into a deep sleep and you follow shortly, once you're able to shut off your mind. 

You wake to her alarm and you curse yourself as you remember that you didn't set your phone up to charge. This wasn't meant to happen the way it did. But you only have yourself to blame as you find your dying phone. You quickly set it up to charge while you get ready. You brush your teeth and get dressed in the clothes you wore the day before. Wanda showers and goes through her morning routine. While she does, you head down stairs to make coffee for her and yourself. 

As you're pouring the coffee into the mugs, Wanda is walking down with wet hair and a casual outfit. “No meetings today?” You ask as you slide her mug towards her. She typically dresses up a bit more when she has meetings with her co-workers and/or clients and potential clients. She shakes her head as she lifts her mug to her face and sits on the stool at the counter. You nod and check your watch to gauge how much time you have before going to work. 

“It's Sunday,” Wanda says as she swallows. You look at her like she's crazy until you realize that she is right. It's not Monday quite yet. You start laughing to yourself as you set your coffee down. 

“I'm all messed up from yesterday,” you laugh as you gesture towards your head. “Speaking of which,” you clear your throat and look into your mug. You bite your cheek nervously as you think of the best way to approach the subject. “Have you thought about having more kids?” You ask with your eyes bouncing between Wanda and your mug. 

Wanda sets her mug down and clears her throat. “I think I'm going to need this coffee to kick in before I'm ready to have that conversation.” You nod in agreement and scratch the back of your head with a nervous laugh. She was right, this was not something you talk about first thing in the morning. 

So you ask her how she slept and if she was hungry. Then you make her some breakfast, as you're cooking the aroma wakes her mother so you make enough for all three of you. Then the topic of conversation becomes her mother and the book club. Apparently, the meeting was less about the book and more about gossip as you listen to stories about people you've never met and may never meet in your life. 

Once everyone is done eating, you try to wash the dishes but Ms. Maximoff refuses to allow you to since you made the breakfast. She has Wanda clean them on her own while she traps you in a longer conversation about you and your future. Your girlfriend tries to spare you but her mother is very insistent. You stumble your way through some answers since some of her questions are questions you have yourself. 

She starts to ease up on you and starts to go on and on about her life and gossip from around her neighborhood. The scandals of the elder community. You react as though you care that Marjorie is sleeping with Thom and Chad, which makes you realize there are elders with the name Chad, without either knowing. Or that you sympathize with the 

After a while, Wanda gives you the signal that she is ready to talk. You nod and attempt to end the conversation with her mother. You fail miserably and Wanda has to come to your rescue. 

“Mom, hey, I need to take Y/n from you,” she says as she pulls on you to rise from your seat. 

“Oh but we're having so much fun! I haven't even gone over what David over on the corner house might be up to. Giant garbage bags, every other week. We think it's bodies or-” 

“Mom,” Wanda interrupts. “I’m taking my partner back. Okay?” She pulls you closer to her and Ms. Maximoff laughs. She waves the two of you off and says that she needs to get started on her day anyway. You turn to Wanda with a shrug. 

The two of you walk to her bedroom to privately discuss. Wanda shuts her bedroom door and you walk around her room. Looking at her photos as you usually do. Wanda sits on her bed with her back against the headboard. Her eyes follow your every move as she thinks about your question. She can have more kids. She talked with her gynecologist at her most recent check up just in case this conversation ever did come up. Her doctor said she had never seen such clean results from Wanda. She assured her that she would be fine to have another baby, maybe ever two of she desired.

But did Wanda want to have another baby? Her boys are so close to becoming teenagers. Your daughter is right there as well. Would it be wise for the two of you to have another baby? 

“I don't know how I feel about intentionally trying for a baby at this point in my life.” Wanda starts, grabbing your attention away from the photo of her on her first day of college. “I have two pre-teenage boys who can be a handful at times and are already struggling with the younger siblings they have from their father. I don't know if I want to contribute to their insecurities by having another child,” she expressed her concerns when it comes to her boys.

You nod as you join her on the bed. You sit in front of her just next to her legs. You reach for her hand and she willingly gives you her hand. “Hey, I'm not even certain I want another kid. I was only asking because I keep saying no to Jean. I don't want you to think I'm saying no to you.” 

Wanda looks at you and tilts her head. “If I'm honest, I didn't consider that. I know that the situation with Jean and what's happening between us are completely separate things. So that didn't cross my mind,” she explains that your worries aren't hers in that regard.

“Well, that's reassuring,” you chuckle softly because you feel a little ridiculous about making that assumption. “I'm open to the idea with you. But I'm fine if you don't want to go through another pregnancy.” 

Wanda pulls your hand closer towards her. She looks at the palm of your hand and traces the lines with her finger tip. She thinks about the art you make with this hand. The pleasures you've brought her with this hand. The tears you've wiped from her face. The food you've made. Then she thinks about you holding her pregnant belly when the weight gets to be too much for her. She thinks about you holding her child in this hand. Butterflies flutter in her stomach at the idea. 

“Let's just… if it happens, we'll talk about it then,” she says softly. “We'll go over our options at that time. But let's not make a thing of it. We don't need to start telling people about us and including that we're trying. We can just,” she shrugs as she drops your hand and places her arms around your shoulders as she leans forward. “Well we haven't even discussed marriage yet but knowing your track record, kids are what come first.” She teases and your eyes widen momentarily to show your shock and amusement of the statement. 

“Of course, with most people they just get a sappy speech and a ring. With me, you get real commitment,” you add jokingly which makes the two of you laugh. You lean closer and kiss her lips. “You're right. We need to be talking about marriage and our commitment to each other before we talk about having kids. I only brought it up because of everything that's going on right now.”

Wanda smirks, “I know honey, that's why I entertained the conversation without shutting you down. It's one of the many topics of conversation we should have before going straight to the marriage of it all. You know? What if we got married and weren't on the same page about this?”

You nod as you agree, “It's exactly why I'm glad we're taking things slow. I would love to whisk you away to Vegas and elope. And I probably would have if we'd have met at a different time in our lives. But we both have a lot to consider outside of ourselves.” 

Wanda's thumb moves back and forth on your neck. “You're a very wise and considerate person, Y/n. What did I ever do to deserve you?” Her eyes are locked on yours as she searches for any kind of malice or false intentions. All she finds is kindness. She cannot fathom what her life would be like had you not made yourself part of it. 

“Have an ex with poor taste in liquor,” you remark on the first conversation you ever had with her. She smiles. 

“I was a mess,” she states as she bites her bottom lip and drops her face shyly. 

You nod in agreement. “You were, and I didn't want to seem like some creep going after vulnerable people by talking to you. By the way, my intentions were pure. That night.” You point between the two of you. “I never had this goal in mind until the night we hung out after my camping trip.” 

She looks back up, a little shocked by this news. Especially since you ended up dating someone else after that night. “Really? So why go after Daisy?” She asks as she looks over your features. Taking in every detail of your face. Your jawline, your smooth skin with a chicken pox scar on your forehead. She loves every detail of you. 

You shrug as you try to remember that time. It was only several months ago. Or was it a year ago by now? It feels like a lifetime ago. “Fear, insecurities, and a long list of other reasons that don't make a lot of sense but at the same time they do. I mean, we're still afraid to be together.” 

Wanda nods as she listens to you explain. You're not wrong there. She was pushing you away for weeks because of how afraid she is to be in love with you. “I'm not anymore. Afraid, I mean. I love you and I only want to be with you. I hope forever but you never know.” 

You chuckle at her last comment and kiss her on the lips. “Yeah, you never know.” She smiles before leaning in for another kiss. You rub the spots on her back where you have your hands placed. You continue to pull her closer and closer as the kiss continues. You love her and you can't wait to tell everyone.

Chapter 26

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @diealittlesometime @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles @the-ox-fan20 @shaniiwm @casualreadersstuff @neopolitan-torchwick @inarayofmoonlight @crimsonwidow666 @vael-altieri @elle161989

[a-student-out-of-time]

More Real Talk

Hey everyone. Mod Bubbles here.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush here: you all know what's going on, you've all heard about it, you don't need me to tell you about it. You've heard about it and you're gonna hear about it a lot these next four years.

I don't want to talk about that. Instead, I wanna address something else that, on a personal level, I believe is a lot more serious but a lot easier to grapple with.

You wanna know what I believe is the biggest problem we're dealing with these days? You can point to a lot of things, but at the core, they all have the same root to them.

Hopelessness.

Yeah, a DR blog talking about hope, how crazy is that?

But in all seriousness, it's at the core of every argument, every political discussion, every post I see made about not just the near future, but the long term as well. It's always the same points about neo-fascism, climate change, wars, cyberpunk dystopias, and global extinction. Very few people today seem to have any faith that the world can be better.

And I can't say I blame them. I was there too once, when I was a teenager. I lived in constant fear of the future, worried about what it means for me, and I'd get trapped in doomscrolling cycles. I'd lay awake at night and cry my eyes out. Yet I'm still here, on the cusp of turning 30, and I'm at a better point in my life than I've ever been.

Fear and desperation are ultimately useful, but they can be self-destructive. They can prevent you from seeing the truth and make you ironically vulnerable to the ones you should be most afraid of.

Why do people join cults or militias or vote for bad politicians? Are they all just stupid or evil? Sure, some may be, but most are just desperate, afraid and don't understand how the world really works. They need a helping hand with deprogramming what they were told.

Here's the facts:

We've already beaten climate change's worst predictions and the changes we've made can be reversed.

Plastic pollution in the oceans is being cleaned up.

Conservation success stories just keep coming.

More people are living better lives nowadays, with lower rates of child morality, starvation, crime, preventable diseases, even bullying rates have declined.

The Green Energy Revolution is here and nothing is going to stop it.

New advancements in materials science are on the way and will revolutionize everything from construction to manufacturing to space exploration.

I say all this because the ultimate source of hope is knowledge. Yes, you can open yourself up to a lot of dark avenues when you start learning about the world, but you'll also learn how much good there is out there being done.

This isn't a distraction, it's how I help people understand that the world can always be better and that just one person being in power will not change that.

Now, I know what you may say to that. I've seen posts about how the internet is going to be censored, that propaganda spread everywhere, that there'll be concentration camps, the constitution will be ripped up, etc.

And to that, I have to be honest: I've already heard it all before.

The things you're worried about today? I was worried about them in 2009 during the Great Recession. People worried about them in 2005 when Bush was re-elected, and the concerns there also included terrorism. Do we even still talk about Al-Qaeda? Not really!

And misinformation in this age has always been a problem, especially on the big sites. These are old problems brought to the forefront, and it's always been important to learn the skills to spot them.

More importantly, all this assumes the administration would actually be able to implement any of their promises. Every administration does that and few of the truly big ones about change have happened, especially because said promises ran counter to reality within the system.

I'm not trying to downplay any concerns about the situation, I promise. It's okay to be sad, scared, and concerned about peoples' safety. It's okay to cry if you need to. What you should not do is give up just because of all this.

I'm going to sound very harsh for a moment, but I need to say it: by being doomerist and defeatist, you're part of the problem. You not only stop helping, you run the risk of discouraging other people from trying because you believe it's pointless. When you succumb to pessimistic nihilism, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy that only rewards those who benefit from your inaction or your death.

Don't do that to people. Don't do that to yourself.

The world gets better when you first believe it can be better. How do you do that?

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but here's some suggestions that I'm sticking to:

Live daily life. Get up, eat, stay hydrated, take your medication, bathe, dress comfortably, listen to music, watch a movie, clean your home, play a game, hang out with friends, just do things that make you happy. As you should always do.

Stop looking at doomer posts. It literally does not help with anything and they are not credible sources of information just because they're cynical.

Do not let go of your ambitions. Always have a dream or a goal in mind, no matter what it is, and always aim for it. It's never stupid, it's never too late, it's something you aspire to and that's really awesome.

Stop looking for enemies. There are more important things to devote your time to than arguing over inane bullshit on the internet. That's been true since the start.

Be kind to people. Let go of whatever anger and resentment you may have for people, try to make new friends, and recognize when you can help someone else in need. Sometimes it's as simple as letting them know you care.

Be kind to yourself. You are not a failure, you're not a burden, you're not a lost cause, you can always improve as long as you're alive.

Remove toxicity from your life. Cut out bad influences and replace them with better things. If you have to leave a toxic environment, you can work on doing so.

Always learn new things. It's really fun to end the day with a new piece of knowledge you didn't have the day before.

Let yourself feel. Are you angry? Sad? Scared? Worried? Let yourself feel it, and then you can move on. Don't bury an emotion or let it stagnate.

Learn to recognize bad faith posts/misinformation. This is a critical skill to possess and one you need to always pass on to others. Not everyone who posts it is evil, sometimes all they need is a simple correction on a matter and the situation will be resolved.

Clown on Evil. Whenever people want you to fear them or take them seriously, you mock them, make memes about them, treat them as a joke and defuse whatever power they try to have.

Be true to yourself. Above all, don't let the next 4 years turn you into something you're not.

I say all this as someone who's been around longer than a lot of people who follow me: your future is not empty. I wished I'd done years ago everything I'm doing now, but I've decided I'd rather do them than spend the rest of my life lamenting and wondering what might've been.

You can spend years convincing yourself there is no future, and then the future arrives and you have no idea what to do anymore.

Change- actual change- starts from below and works its way up. And no matter how much life beats you down, no matter what's on TV or what the future may hold, you can always choose to do something about it.

You can always choose to be kind to yourself and to others. You can always choose to believe. And that's where you can start.

[forestclan-clangen]

MOON 6 (Part 2)

<< FIRST | < PREVIOUS |

Windfur gently tries to recommend that Olive name her two kits. It's been a moon, and they deserve to have some names. Olive bites back at Windfur, saying there's no point - no thanks to Windfur, she still has a broken back and there's no promise the woods will spare her kits. Windfur bristles. He tries not to take it personally, but he does.

(Windfur, medicine cat, male, 20 moons) (Olive, mediator, female, 62 moons)

Hopechase overhears the argument between Windfur and Olive. Her ears droop as she finishes playing with Olive's kits. Windfur has been trying really hard to care for Olive - his life as a medicine cat isn't as easy as it seems to be.

(Hopechase, warrior, female, 88 moons) (??? Lilac pelt kit, kitten, female, 1 moons) (??? Brown pelt kit, kitten, female, 1 moons) (Windfur, medicine cat, male, 20 moons)

Windfur teaches Shiverpaw about basic herbs and their uses. He's surprised when she asks if there's any rhymes that can help her memorize clan rituals, like assisting a queen's birth or preparing a funeral. [SKILL REVEAL: LOVER OF STORIES]

(Shiverpaw, medicine cat apprentice, female, 6 moons) (Windfur, medicine cat, male, 20 moons)

----

"Well...yes, there are. I can teach them to you later. Those are usually more advanced medicine that you'd learn later in your apprenticeship," Windfur said

"Helping with a labor, I get. But..." Shiverpaw stared at her feet with a guilty look. Windfur waited for her to get on with it, until he saw the sadness that pooled in her eyes.

Ah. Right. Warblerkit.

Windfur sighed. She must've seen him prepare the funeral pyre - something that was genuinely quite rare for ForestClan, but a necessity if the body was still present.

He really didn't want to talk about death and funeral rites with Shiverpaw on the very first week of her training. But...this was ForestClan, and death would be a common occurrence. Reluctantly, he stared at the wall and looked through the funeral herbs lined up in the shelves. He prepared himself as he offered to give a basic rundown.

"Well...I'll tell you about the fine details later. But truth is, Shiverpaw, Warblerkit's situation was...different. Rarely do we have a body to burn."

Shiverpaw's cobalt blue eyes were wide with shock, before it seemed like she remembered why. Her bristled fur flattened. "...So...we wouldn't make a fire, usually?"

"No. Not a funerary one, anyway. We'd cook their favorite dish if they had one instead, and the Clan would partake in it. Instead of burning anything, we'd bury important mementos of theirs in our graveyard."

"That sounds different from what we did for Warblerkit." Shiverpaw said, her head tilted. "Why? Why do we burn the body?"

Windfur paused. He knew why. He knew exactly why they burned any bodies they could physically retrieve. But looking at the young apprentice's eyes - he couldn't do it. As he remembered the screaming chaos of the late greenleaf storm, as he left for just a split moment to staunch bleeding coming from Olive - the sight of tendrils retreating into the darkness with a small, pale bundle shook him. He wanted to bury the memory and let the woods take it too.

Windfur must've failed to hide his emotions, as Shiverpaw's curious stare rescinded. She shifted uneasily. "It's...It's okay, I don't need - "

"It's just what we've always done," Windfur sputtered. "We just...we burn the bodies, if we have them. We...we don't like seeing the woods taking our clanmates. I heard from Hopechase that it used to be a FieldClan ritual that we adopted after they were destroyed. To honor them."

A lie, Windfur thought. Shiverpaw looked at the funeral herbs that Windfur had taken out of his stores. She gave a soft nod, deciding his answer was honest. Windfur sighed. He wasn't good at this. He wasn't like Chicoryglint. She'd have had some sort of answer for everything. He felt like an apprentice being told he was now the adult supervision for the nursery. But here he was. An apprentice teaching an apprentice.

"...So, like you saw during Warblerkit's funeral," he started, pointing to the herbs he pulled out, "we use fennel, rosemary and catmint, if we can spare any, to decorate the body. This is to hide any unpleasant smell that may arise while we're pending rites."

Shiverpaw stared at the herbs carefully, then pouted a bit. "...No rhyme to memorize?' "...There is one."

"Can I hear it?"

Windfur shuffled a bit in place. "Uh. Yeah. Hold on, I have to remember how it goes..." He cleared his throat, remembering the melody as something almost march-like, as though trying to sing while dredging through layers of dense forest - breathy and rapid. He wasn't sure if he remembered the melody exactly right, but he had to give it a try...

"Bring the fuel to stack the fire, Let the flames climb ever higher, Hear it crackling, hear it singing, Blazing heat is all-cleansing. Weave the mary-of-the-rose, Fennel, catmint, by the row."

Shiverpaw's ears twitched intently, focused on his melody.

"Our hearts may cry to forestall, But this brave soul answered the call... Bring the fuel to stack the fire, Let the soul free from the pyre, Let our prayers sound free, Loved ones bound to memory. May their ashes be preserved, Round the marker, one with earth."

Windfur stopped, grooming his chest fur. Before Shiverpaw could make a comment, he continued. "That ah, last part is what we do after the fire dies down. We collect the ashes of the dead and try to wrap it in something - leather, large ferns, whatever. Then we bury it at the graveyard out west."

"It kinda sounds like a battle melody, but it's a...a requiem?"

Windfur's tail twitched. "I, ah...I guess. Where'd you even learn that word?"

"Requiem? From one of Barleywave's stories, when I was little," Shiverpaw insisted.

Windfur decided to push that aside, choosing to help refocus Shiverpaw on memorizing herbs, now that he got her attention - especially with fennel, which had nearly a dozen uses.

Windfur didn't think about the nursery rhyme for the rest of the day. Truly, he didn't. Cloudthunder had cooked the Clan some smoked meat, Redstar and Hopechase had shared with them their plans to reintroduce the Plentiful Gathering on a small scale. He checked up on Olive again and did his best to respond softly to her grief-stricken lashes. He dismissed Shiverpaw and let her join Morningpaw and Barleywave on learning how to make bulrush rope. By all means, this was a good, productive day.

Which is why he hated that the moment he lay in his nest, he couldn't help but stare at the walls of the medicine den. He told himself he was admiring the beauty of nature, how the giant oak fell and left a massive log den, to be hollowed out by years and years of carving and pillaging by insects. Now, the walls were sturdy and flattened by cat claws. Yes. That's definitely what he was thinking about.

If it weren't for the memory of Chicoryglint's shade settling behind him. The molly gave him a dry smile.

"Did you know that there used to be another part to the rhyme?"

Windfur remembered how his younger self replied. "Really? Can you tell me?"

"Well, there isn't much use to that part of it anymore, Windpaw. The second section was more of a cautionary segment than a ritual explanation. Besides, it's quite...morbid."

"Well, of course it's morbid. It's about funeral rites. Like...maybe it's rare, but surely there's rites for bodies that are really badly gone? Like, the flies got to them already?"

"Oh, no, it's the same rites. We just apply a lot of chive, and break out the mint and lavender if it's really bad. It's the only time those herbs are used - they're poisonous otherwise."

"Well, now that you've told me, I'm curious," Windpaw had said with a twitch of the tail, his dark blue eyes narrowed with frustration. "You can't just tell me there's another part and then refuse to tell me."

"Oh, alright, fine," Chicoryglint's pale grey and golden tail twitched, purposefully tapping the apprentice on the shoulder. A look of mischief appeared on her face. "But it is still very disturbing, nothing like the first half. Might be the most frightening thing in my repertoire. Because its melody sounds more like a battle chant, some lorekeepers suspect this song had a different purpose, once."

"Chicoryglint, no offence, but after vowing to protect StarClan's secret, nothing else really terrifies me."

A tense silence fell in the air for a brief moment. Chicoryglint casually used a single claw to separate two different sets of herbs. Then, after Windpaw had quietly sat curled up with his tail around his paws, Chicoryglint let out a small exhale before giving him the second verses.

"Blood and gore, by the score, Falls to the woods' core.

Show our might; annihilation, Wipe out all foul creation, For our flesh is not our own, When the woods puppet our bones. All scream out their final breath, To the cunning roots of death.

So ignite the funeral pyre, Pile the bodies ever higher, See them burning, see them seething, Saved from the woods' scheming.

So ignite the funeral pyre, Sound the screaming of the choir, End the Fake Cats from rising, Standing high upon your graves."

Windfur blinked. He felt the fur on his pelt stand on end.

He quickly shook his head, chasing out the memory from his mind. He took a deep breath, then curled up tightly on himself, burying his nose into his pelt.

He decided he would never mention the missing verses to Shiverpaw.

Those ones would die with him.

---

<PREVIOUS | NEXT>

[sentinelq]

Ticklish attitude adjustment

She warned him not to go through with it. You can't remodel your own home just like that, who knows what you'll destroy or collapse.

As usual, the advice went into one ear and left out the other. He had finally drilled an opening big enough for a small window from the house to the garage. He widened it forcefully, too lazy to take the long trip around.

Drill in hand, his arms upright, his upper body barely made it to the other side before getting stuck, his chest facing the ceiling. Panic made him drop the drill, thankfully without accident.

"See? You never listen to me, what if you had been alone? What if the drill fell on your arm or face?"

"Yeah, yeah, just go around and give it to me, I'll widen the hole and get out."

Having had enough of his attitude, always taking her for granted and knowing she'd always dampen his failures, she decided a punishment was in order. Several refusals to fully admit to his mistake, without excuses, later, she swiftly took off to give him the drill and be done with this mess.

"Oh you just know sooo much better, huh? That's why you're stuck like this?"

Seeing him in this state, somewhat crouched, arms and head clean through yet exposed from the armpits and below, gave her an idea.

The dragging sound of a heavy chair confused him. "Just making myself comfortable throughout this ordeal" she said. He felt the cold steel of scissors cut off his white shirt, hands undoing his belt buckle and lowering his pants. And everything that comes with them.

"What are you fu-"

"If you're not going to learn by yourself, I'll teach you what happens when you don't have a person to make up for your mistakes 24/7"

She grabbed two decorational goose feathers, long and stiff. Dragging them across his ribs, she asked "What do we say when we've made a mistake?" Caught off guard, sudden snorts and squeaks came out the sound echoing throughout the garage.

"No, I don't believe it's that. Try again." Twirling the feathers right inside his armpits, she broke the dam. Desperate, howling laughter filled both the garage and house. In her newfound excitement over this situation, she let the feathers continue to explore his defenceless underarms. Knowing he couldn't take it. Knowing he couldn't utter a single word, therefore giving her the "justification" to continue,

She enjoyed being in an authoritative position. It excited her, so much so after a very long seeming 10 minutes of tickle torture, she knew exactly how it'd go down.

He shouted in anger. His behavior was "corrected". No stops, no breaks, no bargaining. Just his body flailing, defenceless against the feathers sneaking underneath his pinned arms.

A smile slowly creeping upon her lips, she had the perfect idea. 2 minutes full of desperate pleas later, she had taped his legs together. Sitting in her chair, she grabbed a feather and brought it down from his armpits to his ribs, to his belly, to his hips... and lower. At first, she extracted laughter, soon followed by a realization that no amount of begging would change.

"If you're going to act like a testosterone fueled caveman, I'll treat you like the animal you are." His legs taped together, the feather's strokes inevitably revealed the rapidly growing bulge. Passing the feather up and down, she condescendingly proclaimed that she'd "get those hormones out" of him.

The laughter started. He couldn't hold it back, it grew and grew in intensity, along with his feathered cock. She was sitting in her chair, scrolling through random social media apps while dragging that stiff, soo stiff, yet so soft thing up and down his increasingly wet shaft.

As his masculine needs were being coo'd out of him, he couldn't help but surrender those needy sounds, mixing with the laughter and echoing across the garage.

His giggles and moaning had taken a more submissive turn. "Gooood boy." she complimented him. Her ruthless demeanor finally shown in the taming of her hormone fuelled slave, she would build him up until he could no longer take it, taunting him with emasculating baby talk ", who's my strong man? Yes, you are, so strooong. Coochie coochie coo, let it allll out" the elongation of words accompanied by the dragging of her instrument across his own.

The cruelty of her taunts, "Theeere you go baby, let it allll out" finalized in that she would ticklishly stroke his glans to the point where he'd almost explode, just to baby him down to precumming, then start the process all over again. Him screaming "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEFUAHAHAPLEAHAHA" Only to be met with laughter and giving him no pressure, she merely carefully applied the feather's tip at just the right spots to soak his cock in his impotent pre-cum yet again. "Theeere you gooo, we're gonna leak all that testosterone out."

"So you can think better."

Who knows how long this went on. One thing is for certain. She enjoyed that long afternoon very much.

*Inspired by a gif from PolarbearNSFW

[transfemme-shelterdog]

i can't send this from my queer blog, but this is genderqueerdykes and i just wanted to say thank you for running this blog. i'm intersex, and i'm a trans man and a trans woman. people love to invalidate whichever gender of mine they please depending on the context. i've had people start misgendering me, treating me with transmisogyny and denying that i'm a "real trans woman" because i stand up for trans men and mascs, and am partly one. people seem to want to completely ignore that i'm intersex for the sake of saying i'm "lying about being transfem" as some type of lame "gotcha". that is intersexism and transmisogyny whether or not they see it that way

people don't want to own up to their own internalized transmisogyny. i have no idea why it offends people that intersex people exist and that we have a complex relationship with gender, but people are not only gladly showing their transmisogyny and transandrophobia on their sleeves, but now their intersexism, too. if people on here disagree with me, they get to deny my gender and say that i'm now magically not transfem or a trans woman despite my intersex variations leading me to live a very real, very transfeminine life

i was assigned male at birth and then had "corrective" procedures done to change my body to be more female, including Estrogen and progesterone HRT in my teens. i've been denied womanhood and femininity my entire life because i'm "too masculine" and look "too much like a man" even before i started T HRT. i wasn't allowed to be a girl as a child or teenager, let alone as an adult. people who were literally assigned male at birth aren't allowed to be transfeminine or trans women anymore. that's how wrapped up in discourse that makes no sense we've become. thank you for doing what you do, and i hope people don't fucking misgender you just because you stand up for trans men.

i hope you have a fantastic week, actually, make that life, and take care of yourself. thanks for being here for trans men and mascs. thanks for being yourself. also fellow nonhuman here, i'm also a canine, you rock!

Oh hey, Equinox, huge fan of your GenderQueerDykes blog, been following it for a while now, I also very much appreciate the work you do on that blog.

Yeah, I don't know why people are such assholes about the situation. The concept that one's internal workings and how they present themselves/their external appearance sometimes don't line up and it can lead to weird gender fuckery is lost on a lot of trans women, for some reason. Like, you'd like that the community that talks so much about passing and "boymoding" would be more understanding that gender and sex are convoluted and messy. Same with intersex people, sometimes their relationship with sex and gender is weird, and that's ok.

I totally support you, and however you choose to identify/present yourself. The way I see it, is that gender is a personal thing, and trying to correct people on what is and isn't "true gender" is ass-backwards and regressive. That goes for everyone, whether intersex or perisex, your gender is yours and yours alone.

I just wish that people, especially trans women, would be more accepting of people who have complex and "problematic" genders, and would cut the transandrophobia and transmisogyny.

I'll always be here for you, and anyone else who needs a feisty trans bitch in their corner. I hope you also have a wonderful life, and keep being yourself sweetheart.

[totallyanopossum]

Call of duty

Ghost babysits

WC: 1.3k

Link to story master post

Warning: mentions of drug use, addiction, sexual content

Note: solo smut scene

Part 6, home alone

3 days later their teams packing up to go on a mission. Price calls her down to talk to her, he's planning on leaving her on her own, that's why he had Ghost stay over. It was a test run to see how she'd do without someone who knows her past watching and she passed with flying colors.

Y/N-“ so what's up?”

P- “ we've got a mission real soon and I know I've been overprotective but I trust you and think your ready to be on your own this time”

She never thought she'd hear him say that, not only that he trusts her but acknowledging his behavior. She's so used to being lied to and manipulated that someone taking responsibility for their actions is a surreal experience.

Y/N-“ th..thank you, this means a lot, i wont let you down”

P- “ it's okay to slip and fall along the way, as long as you keep trying and getting back up. I'm sorry if i ever pressured you made, you think one slip up is a disappointment, this is new for me”

Y/N-“ this is a learning experience for both of us, i think we're doing good”

P- “ yeah”

Y/N-“ so how long will you be gone”

P- “ a week or so can't really know till we're headed home”

Y/N-“ okay”

-💀Simon❤️‍🔥-

Hey

Hey lovie

Heard you got a mission soon

Yeah we leave tomorrow

Good luck come back to me

Nothing could keep me from you

When your back I wanna see you

I already miss you so much

Me too lovie me too,

once back I won't make you wait long

It's weird having the house to herself, she hasn't been left alone this long since before rehab and even then she has never liked being all alone, it kinda creeps her out. Being left alone with her thoughts is a torturous trial she's never done well at.

When Ghost was ‘babysitting’ she couldn't always hear or sense where he was because of how stealthy he is but she knew he was there somewhere. But now she knows she's all alone, alone with just herself and there's a reason even before rehab she was always around others, when she's alone all that's left is her mind, and her mind is greatest enemy.

Getting clean wasn't easy, she's drawn to anything that takes away the pain. She can't remember most of her psychotic break but it's still got its claws in her, the call to drugs, and now left all alone with her thoughts she's starting to have strong cravings.

Knowing no one is coming home to stop her, to catch her, scares her so badly she goes to a meeting. She keeps this up going to a meeting every day, figures if she's busy doing that and getting support then she can't go find something to swallow, inhale, or snort.

When she's not at meetings she's drawing, doing yoga, baking, dancing to music, and has doubled her walks now taking one in the evening too. She usually keeps a relaxed, very free schedule but now she's packing her days so full there's no time for anything else. No time for her mind to wonder and torture her, no time to think of drugs, no time to go score them, no time to worry about Simon and Price.

She's got the days covered but the nights,she can't escape her mind during the nights. All she can do is put on her sleep playlist, hug onto the pillow Simon used, focus on counting her breaths and hope she can fall asleep before 4 am.

A week has gone by and still no word but she's not worried, well not yet at least, she promised herself she wouldn't worry until the 3 week mark. But she really hopes they get home soon, her sleep has been extra shitty and she needs a night of sleeping with Simon. Wither it's just sleeping cuddled up or being fucked till passing out, both resulted in excellent sleep and she needs that.

Almost at the 2 week mark and the packing her day's full routine is wearing her down and the crappy sleep is not helping. So today she switches things up, she needs to feel something good, needs some oxytocin.

She lays down her towel, gets her rose toy and thinks of her man. First time she did this she was just imagining what it would be like with him, but now she's been with him and knows exactly what it's like, fueling her even more.

She dims the lights, puts on some music to set the mood, not having to care if someone overhears.

Legs spread open, one hand rolling her nipple between her thumb and pointer finger the other applying her rose to her swollen clit.

She never thought something could top the rose but Simon working his tongue on her is just something else, but she'll just have to make do without him for now.

Her light moans turn to whines of need, she needs more. She feels so empty now knowing just how full she can feel. She gets up and digs through her still till she finds the hidden velvet bag stuffed in the back of her underwear drawer.

The metals cold to the touch but it's just what she needs, Simon's stretched her cunt to only be satisfied by him now, so a butt plug is just what needs. She hasn't played with her ass in ages so she'll have to go with a smaller plug.

Laying on her side, leg up, using her own slick arousal as lubrication she slowly pushes the cold metal plug into her tight ass. The stretch is euphoric, making memories of Simon painfully stretching her out flash before her. Letting out sinful moans as the plugs fully in and she's clenching around it.

She always orgasms so quickly when she has something in her ass, but she wants to enjoy them, make it last. So she sets her rose aside and uses her fingers. They easily glide into her sopping wet cunt as she starts pumping 2 fingers in and out.

Her core tightening, clenching down hard, pussy dripping, toes curling, bottom lip bloody from biting, head thrown back, as she reaches her peak calling out Simon's name and a mess of unrestrained moans.

She's panting as she comes down from her release, she finally got the hit she was craving, oxytocin isn't Oxy but this was better. Once calms down, coming down from her high she looks at the mess she made and a sinful thought crosses her mind. She wants to snap a picture and send it to Simon but he explained she won't be able to reach him till he's home so it's no use doing that.

She cleans up her bed and goes to shower but leaves her plug in, she used to love wearing one on the regular and had even managed to stretch up to a decent size, but her ex hated it, called her a bunch of nasty things but she has a feeling Simon won't have a problem with this.

She takes a long shower just closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of the water falling over her still sensitive body. This leads to round 2 with the handheld shower head held to her puffy sensitive clit peppering it with water, she's so glad she left her plug in. She orgasms hard screaming out, grabbing onto the edge of the shower bench as she squirts. She knows she's able to but it's been ages, she feels lightheaded and takes a while to recover and finishes her shower.

She spends the rest of the day in bed drawing and watching a show enjoying her oxytocin bliss.

Sorry for the wait and short chapter lifes been getting crazier then usually

[speaknow-sw]

YAY, okay so get this. I don’t want him and reader to have a drastic age difference maybe she’s 28 and he’s like mid 30s?

Anyways reader is married but her marriage ain’t doing what it used to, so her and James have been messing around for a few months. And then unbeknownst to her she finds out James and her husband are cousins after a family get together 😩.

And then they end up sneaking off and yeah

— 🫧 (this is so random idk what’s going on in my brain)

Coming, you now that a cheating AU was my first step on tumblr ? Feels good coming back to the roots (yearning).

We all deserves a man who’d do anything for us because he yearns for us so bad.

James smirked at your nervous whimper, his hands squeezing your hips possessively. "Relax, baby. You know he doesn't get home till 4:57, sharp as a whistle. We've got..." He glanced at the clock, a mischievous glint in his eye. "...12 minutes. Plenty of time."

His lips found your neck, trailing kisses along your sensitive skin. One hand slid up your side, cupping your breast through your shirt. "Besides, you can't resist me. I see the way you look at me when he's not around, craving my touch." He nipped at your earlobe, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine.

"Mmm, and you taste even better than you look, love. I can't get enough of you." His other hand slid under your skirt, fingers brushing against your inner thigh. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll make sure you're satisfied before he walks through that door. Multiple times." He chuckled lowly, his voice dripping with arrogant confidence and lustful promise.

“Jamie, you need to go.” You sighed, arching against him.

James grinned wickedly at your breathy sigh, feeling your body melt against his. "Mmm, not yet, gorgeous. I'm not done with you." His hand slid higher, fingers brushing against your lace-covered mound. He could feel the heat radiating through the fabric, knowing he had you worked up.

"Look at you, already so ready for me. You're insatiable, sugar." He rubbed you through your panties, feeling your dampness. "Fuck, I can feel how wet you are. You need my cock so bad, don't you?"

His other hand pushed your shirt up, exposing your bra-clasped breasts. He flicked the front clasp open, letting your tits spill out. "Beautiful," he murmured, before diving down and sucking a stiffening nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the sensitive bud, teasing and flicking it mercilessly.

Meanwhile, his hand pushed your panties aside, fingers delving into your soaked folds. He groaned around your nipple as he plunged two fingers into your tight cunt, pumping them in and out. "So fucking tight and wet, baby. I'm going to fill this pussy up so good." He rubbed your clit with his thumb, making your hips buck against his hand.

James froze, fingers still buried deep inside your dripping cunt, as the unmistakable sound of a car pulling into the driveway reached our ears. Your husband's car. Panic flashed in his eyes as he glanced at the clock - 4:57 PM. Shit.

"Fuck, that's him!" James hissed, yanking his fingers out of you and straightening your skirt. He grabbed your wrists, pulling you off the counter and spinning you around. "Go, now!" He gave you a little push towards the bedroom door.

But before you could take a step, the front door opened, and you heard your husband calling out, "Honey, I'm home!" His footsteps, heavy and purposeful, began to approach the kitchen.

James's eyes darted around frantically, then landed on the back door leading to the backyard. He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards it. "This way," he whispered urgently. "We'll sneak out the back and I’ll run away. Hurry!"

He cracked open the back door just enough to slip through, pulling you with him. The cool evening air hit your flushed skin as he led you quickly across the backyard, towards the gate that led to the alley behind your house. Your heart raced as you ran, terrified of getting caught. This was too close, too risky. But the thrill of it all, the danger, only heightened the intensity of your illicit affair with your husband's cousin.

You hid behind the garden shed and laughed, kissing sloppily. “Go.” You pushed him playfully.

James caught you in his arms, returning your desperate kiss with fervor. "Love you, baby. I'll call you later," he whispered against your lips before slipping out of your embrace and sprinting silently towards the alley gate. He paused for a moment, looking back at you with a roguish wink and a blown kiss, before disappearing into the gathering dusk.

You stood there, heart pounding, until his silhouette vanished from sight. Taking a deep breath, you crept back towards the house, tiptoeing in through the back door. The sound of the shower running upstairs reached your ears - your husband was in the bathroom, blissfully unaware of your transgression.

You made your way to the kitchen, trying to act casual as you grabbed a glass and poured yourself some water with shaking hands. You took a sip, trying to calm your nerves and cool your flushed cheeks. Just as you set the glass down, your husband appeared in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey honey, I'm home," he said, flashing you a smile. "I thought I heard voices in here. Did we have company?" He stepped closer, glancing around the empty kitchen. Your heart leapt into your throat, praying he hadn't noticed anything amiss.

“No ? I was in the garden, I got a call from my mom.”

Your husband raised an eyebrow slightly but seemed to accept your explanation. "Oh, okay. How's your mom doing?" He stepped closer, now standing right in front of you. The scent of his aftershave and the warm dampness of his freshly showered skin filled the air between you.

You nodded, hoping he couldn't detect the lingering aroma of James's cologne on your own skin, or the faint redness still coloring your cheeks and throat. "She's good, all is well. I was just... catching up on some family gossip." You forced a little laugh, praying he wouldn't notice the slight tremor in your voice.

He nodded, then glanced at the clock. "Well, I'm starving. Did you start on dinner yet?" He began to turn towards the fridge, and your breath caught in your throat. Would he notice anything out of place? The kitchen counter, perhaps, where James had pinned you just moments before. Where he had touched and teased and brought you to the brink of ecstasy, all while your unsuspecting husband worked just a few blocks away.

You swallowed hard, willing yourself to stay calm. "I was just about to. I thought I'd make that pasta recipe you like." Your voice sounded strained to your own ears. "I'll get started." You moved towards the pantry, needing a moment to collect yourself before facing him again. Before he could see the guilt and panic and shameful arousal warring in your eyes.

A week later, you found yourself at a large family gathering, mingling with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. The backyard was filled with picnic tables groaning under the weight of potluck dishes, and the air buzzed with chatter and laughter. You sipped your wine, feeling a bit out of place among so many extended family members you didn't know well.

That's when you overheard a conversation between two older women discussing the family tree. Your ears perked up as you heard them mention James's name, followed by your husband's. Your heart nearly stopped as you realized they were comparing the two men's ages and birthdates, confirming what you had never dared to suspect.

"Did you know James and Mark are first cousins?" one woman asked the other.

"I didn't! Really? I always thought James was just a friend of the family," the other replied.

"They're Joe and Linda's boys, born just a year apart. Poor Linda, losing her son, and then her grandson..." The first woman shook her head sadly.

You felt the blood drain from your face as the horrible realization sank in. James, your secret lover, the man you had been cheating on your husband with for months now, was not only a family friend but your husband's cousin. The thought made you want to be sick.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder and spun around to see James standing there, a look of concern on his handsome face. "Hey, you alright? You look a little green," he said softly.

You opened your mouth to reply, but no words came out. Instead, you grabbed his hand and pulled him around the side of the house, desperate for privacy. As soon as you were out of sight of the party, you turned to him with wild eyes.

"James, I just found out... I overheard them talking... and I can't believe it!" you gasped.

"Found out what?" he asked, perplexed. Then his eyes widened in understanding. "Oh. Fuck. You mean about me and Mark being cousins?" He ran a hand through his hair, looking as stunned and horrified as you felt.

"God, I can't believe this," you said, pacing back and forth. "I've been sleeping with my husband's cousin. My own cousin-in-law. That's so fucked up!"

James reached for you, but you stepped back, shaking your head.

“Why didn’t you tell me ?” You whispered angrily.

James held up his hands in a placating gesture, trying to calm you down. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry, okay? I should have told you sooner. It's just... I didn't want to freak you out, you know?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"Believe me, I knew it was a bit weird, us being related, but only by marriage. I never thought it would be an issue, since you and Mark are... well, you know." He trailed off awkwardly, realizing the delicate nature of your situation.

He stepped closer, his voice low and urgent. "Look, I never meant to deceive you. I just thought, why make a big deal out of something so small? Especially when we both knew what we has is... special." His blue eyes searched yours imploringly.

"But I get it now. I see how much this bothers you, and I'm sorry. Truly sorry. I should have been upfront with you from the beginning." He reached out to take your hands in his, squeezing them gently. "Please forgive me, baby. I never wanted to hurt you or ruin what we have together."

His thumb brushed over your knuckles as he spoke, his touch both comforting and unsettling in light of your newfound knowledge. "I still want to be with you, baby. I want us to work this out, cousin or not. But I understand if you need some time to process all of this. I'll give you space, if that's what you want. Just please... don't push me away. Not now, not when I've finally found someone who means the world to me." His voice cracked with emotion, revealing the depth of his feelings for you.

You just sighed and trailed upstairs.

James followed you upstairs, his heart pounding in his chest as he climbed the steps behind you. He could sense your turmoil, could feel the conflict radiating off of you in waves. As you reached the landing, you spun around to face him, your blue eyes blazing with a mix of anger, confusion, and shameful desire.

"I don't know what to think," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. "This changes everything, James. Everything I thought I knew about us, about my marriage, about my family..." You shook your head, looking lost.

James stepped closer, reaching out to cup your face in his strong hands. His thumbs brushed your cheeks, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. "I know, baby. I know it's a lot to take in. But please don't let it change how you feel about me, about us." His voice was low and earnest, his gaze intense as he held yours.

He leaned in closer, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "I'm still the same man who loves you more than anything, darling. I'm still the one who would move heaven and earth to make you happy, to keep you safe and satisfied. Nothing about that has changed. You are everything !"

His hands slid down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. You could feel the hard planes of his chest, the strength of his arms around you. "I know it's complicated, but I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you," he murmured, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke.

James captured your mouth in a searing kiss, pouring all of his passion and desperation into it. He kissed you like a man starved, like you were the very air in his lungs. One hand slid up to tangle in your hair, while the other gripped your hip possessively, holding you tight against him.

He broke the kiss with a low groan, his breath ragged against your lips. "Tell me you still want this, baby," he pleaded, his voice rough with need. "Tell me you still want me, no matter what. Because God knows I want you. I want you so fucking much."

You gripped his collar and kissed him angrily. For a man so sweet he was so intoxicating. Too sweet for you.

James groaned into the angry kiss, feeling your passion and desperation mirroring his own. His hands roamed your curves greedily, squeezing and caressing every inch of you as if trying to memorize the feel of your body. He walked you backwards until your legs hit the edge of the bed, and then he pushed you down onto the mattress, crawling over you with a hungry growl.

"Fuck, I need you," he rasped, his voice thick with lust. His hands slid under your shirt, pushing the fabric up and off in one swift motion. He took a moment to admire the sight of your breasts, barely contained by the lacy bra you wore. "You're so fucking beautiful, sugar. I can't get enough of you."

He leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the swell of your breasts, his tongue dipping beneath the lace to tease the sensitive skin. His hands reached behind you, unhooking your bra with expert ease, freeing your tits from their confines. They bounced slightly as they were released, and James wasted no time in latching onto a stiff nipple, sucking and biting at the sensitive bud until you cried out in pleasure.

His other hand slid down your stomach, popping the button of your jeans and tugging the zipper down. He slipped a hand inside, cupping your mound possessively through the thin fabric of your panties. He could feel the heat emanating from your core, could sense how ready you were for him.

"Fuck, you're so wet," he murmured against your breast, rubbing your clothed slit teasingly. "I bet you're dripping, aren't you baby? I bet you're fucking soaked and ready for my cock."

He pushed your panties aside, plunging two fingers deep into your soaked cunt without warning. You gasped and arched off the bed, your inner walls clenching tight around the intrusion. He pumped his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right to hit that special spot deep inside that made your toes curl.

"Oh god, James!" you cried out, tangling your fingers in his hair. He looked up at you, his blue eyes dark with lust and hunger. He captured your mouth in another searing kiss, swallowing your moans and cries of pleasure as he fingered you hard and fast, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

"Your husband could never ! Never make you cream on his pathetic cock like I do. You belong to me. This face, this body, this magnificent tits are mine to brand, because…You. Are. Mine." He punctuated his words with sharp thrusts of his fingers, making you mewl.

James could feel your body trembling beneath him, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps as he worked you closer to your peak. The sound of your desperate pleas, the way you were melting against his fingers, only spurred him on. He wanted to make you come undone, to shatter in his arms until you forgot about everything except the all-consuming pleasure he could give you.

"Come on, baby. Let go for me," he coaxed, his fingers pumping faster, harder. His thumb rubbed tight circles around your clit, the rough pad sending shockwaves of ecstasy through your core. "I want to feel you come on my fingers, want to taste your sweet little cunt as you cream all over me."

He leaned down, replacing his fingers with his mouth. He licked a long, slow stripe up your slit before sealing his lips around your clit and suckling hard. He thrust his tongue inside you, fucking you with the slick muscle as he drank down your nectar greedily.

Your hands fisted in his hair, holding him in place as your hips bucked wildly against his face. He could feel your thighs starting to quake, could sense your impending orgasm building like a tidal wave. With a final hard suck to your clit, he pushed you over the edge, sending you careening into oblivion.

You screamed his name as you came, your cunt clamping down around his invading tongue like a vice. He could feel your honey flooding his mouth as he lapped it up, swallowing every last drop of your release. He worked you through your orgasm, his fingers and tongue never stopping their relentless assault until you collapsed back against the bed, boneless and sated.

Only then did he pull back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He crawled up your body slowly, his eyes dark with satisfaction and hunger. "That's it, baby. You taste so fucking sweet when you come for me," he praised, his voice a low, sensual growl.

He settled between your thighs, the hard ridge of his erection pressing against your sensitive mound. He rocked his hips slowly, grinding his clothed cock against your slick, swollen folds. "I need to be inside you, sugar. I need to feel your tight little cunt squeezing my dick as I fuck you hard and deep. I need to fill you up until you're dripping with my seed."

“If only I had met you before Mark…” You mumbled.

James stilled at your whispered words, a flicker of emotion crossing his handsome face. His hips paused their slow grinding against yours, and he leaned up to cup your face in his strong hands. He brushed a few strands of blonde hair from your face, tucking them gently behind your ear as he gazed down at you with a mix of tenderness and longing.

"Don't say that, baby," he murmured softly, his thumb tracing the delicate curve of your cheek. "Don't dwell on what might have been. We can't change the past, only control our present and future."

He sighed, his breath warm against your skin. "I know this situation isn't ideal, but I don't regret a single moment we've shared together. I'm just grateful that I found you, that I got to experience this incredible connection with you." His voice was filled with sincerity and conviction.

James leaned in closer, resting his forehead against yours. "Maybe we weren't supposed to meet first, maybe our paths were always meant to cross like this. Maybe we needed to learn and grow as individuals before we could fully appreciate and cherish what we have now."

He captured your mouth in a slow, sensual kiss, pouring all of his love and devotion into the intimate embrace. "I love you, babe," he whispered against your lips. "Not because of circumstance or timing, but because of the amazing woman you are. And I'll keep loving you, no matter what challenges we face."

He rocked his hips slowly against yours once more, his hardness pressing insistently against your core. "I want to make love to you, baby. I want to show you how much you mean to me, how much I need you in my life." He nuzzled your neck, his lips brushing your ear as he spoke. "Tell me you want the same, that you're still in this with me. Because I know I can't live without you."

He inhaled sharply. "Marry me…" He blurted out, his breathing uneven. "Divorce him and marry me. " He looked so small while saying this, so scared. "Listen I… I know I’m not him. I can’t give you a big house, a wealthy lifestyle, an allowance but… I love you baby. I love you so much and I know I can’t live without you. Be Mrs. Kelly and I promise, I promise I’ll struggle everyday to make it up to you. I have a piece of land out of New Orleans… I’ll build you a house with my bare hands. With everything you’d like. You could make jam or…anything. I’ll give you babies…beautiful babies… only if you want them. But please, I need you to be with me." He pleaded like a mad man desperate for air, for an ounce of oxygen to enter his lungs.

You stared up at James in shock, hardly believing your ears. Your heart raced as you took in the raw, desperate emotion etched into every line of his handsome face. He looked utterly wrecked, his blue eyes wild and pleading as he gazed down at you with naked vulnerability. In that moment, the confident, arrogant man you'd come to know melted away, revealing the deeply in love, slightly unhinged soul beneath.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the weight of his words sank in. He wanted to marry you, to build a life with you, to give you everything he had to offer. And while it wasn't the lavish, picture-perfect future you'd once imagined for yourself, you knew with sudden, blinding clarity that it was exactly what you wanted too.

"Oh, James..." you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." The words spilled from your lips before you could stop them, and in an instant, his face transformed with pure, unadulterated joy.

He crashed his mouth against yours in a desperate, passionate kiss, pouring every ounce of his love and relief into the embrace. You kissed him back just as fiercely, tangling your fingers in his hair and arching up against him. He groaned into your mouth, one hand fisting in your blonde locks while the other slid down to grip your hip possessively.

When he finally broke the kiss, he pulled back just far enough to look into your eyes. His own blue orbs shone with unshed tears and raw, visceral emotion. "You've made me the happiest man alive," he murmured, his voice rough with feeling. "I promise you won't regret this, Evelyn. I swear to god, I'll spend every day of our lives together showing you how much you mean to me."

[artisanscribbles]

ismyteadoneyet

....William DOES mention during Bree's Legendborn 101 crash course that they have a ton of artifacts and sht in the Lodge: "Down here is all the other secret stuff we can't risk anyone seeing by accident. Artifacts and member documents"-he jerks a thumb at a door we've just passed-"are in a cold storage room where we have more control over the temperature and lighting conditions. Fortunately, the oldest items have been so infused with aether by Merlins over the years that we don't have to worry about them crumbling to pieces." (- Legendborn, page 133) If the Order is hiding the tunnel to Excalibur behind the Wall of Ages, and flaunt those handcuffs that they used to "arrest ✨️other magic users✨️", I wouldn't put it past them to have the crown stashed away somewhere in the vault as a "trophy" of winning "the war", right? 🤔🤔 I think you're onto something !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok @ismyteadoneyet I thought this deserved a reply on the main post because I'm not sure what would be a better situation:

The Regents' know about the Shadow Court and the Crown and have it hidden somewhere and just don't tell people about it. It's super secret and very 'if you need to know, we will read you in." Very in character for them.

Merlin straight up magic bullshitting the Crown in some hidden place and telling no one. (unlikely but it could happen)

Morgaine straight up magic bullshitting the Crown in some hidden location and telling like (1) person and that knowledge being passed down from disciple to disciple without them telling anyone else this is a thing. (possible)

OR (and I think this would be the funniest, and also supported by the fact the Shadow King has being Masquerading as an extremely highly ranked Merlin Order Member and still doesn't seem to have his Crown back yet or know where it is)

4. The Order falling prey to what is referred to in the real world as Organizational Decay with everyone who knew about the Crown and its purpose just either being killed or dying BEFORE they could pass on that knowledge (like Bree's Ancestress), their replacements having no way of know what this super powerful artifact is or what it does, but knowing it's important somehow and just chucking it storage somewhere and forgetting about it. Like the King knows the Order has the Crown but the Order DOESN'T because some poor guy inherited this mess generations ago and did nothing about it, so like several position replacements later they do some restructuring and move all these powerful objects into storage without knowing what they are and like, knocking off for lunch. Job well done guys.

MEANWHILE the Shadow King manipulates his way into the highest Merlin position in the Order, with the most likely access to highly classified magical and security documents AND STILL CAN'T FIND ANY INFORMATION ON HIS CROWN BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT IS SO ITS LABELLED IN THE SYSTEM SOMEWHERE AS LIKE "AETHERIC OBJECT 4445662B - TRANSFERRED FROM STORAGE FACILITY IN SAINT ASPAH, WALES IN 1939 - PROVIDENCE UNKNOWN" along with like the 100,000,000 other random objects the Order's accrued over the 1500 years because they never throw anything out.

Which means its entirely possible that the Shadow King was exactly 2 Floors away from his Crown at the beginning of Bloodmarked AND HAD NO IDEA.

Friends, I hope I am right about this. It'd be hilarious!

Some Oathbound Thoughts

There's a larger post regarding the Order that's still percolating in my head but while I was drafting that post, something occurred to me:

We have very little in text proof that the Shadowborn are as big as a problem as the Order makes them out to be- But do you know where they seem to gather and most attacks happen: The 4 Legendborn Chapters.

This made me start made me start to think about what we know about magic in universe, and also what we know about the Shadowborn.

The Order makes the Shadowborn out to be this huge problem, but Valechez, Patricia and every Rootcrafter we meet treat them as a problem and certainly something to be cautious about, but a known factor.

And none of the Rootcrafters spend their lives at battle-ready mode waiting for the next attack. It's just the Order that does that. But everyone else acts like the Order is the much bigger problem and danger of the two.

But Scions and Squires have been being called ever since the Order's inception to handle all these demon attacks? And we see there is truth to this: The Shadowborn are Undeniably Attacking the Legendborn.

Which begs the question: Why the Order and not the other magic users?

And then it hit me.

The Order of the Roundtable has been around for at minimum, per William, at least 60 Generations. Like with Vera, the spell is somehow bound to the bloodlines. But Vera's bargain is tied to The Shadow King - He cast the Mark and as far we can tell he's been maintaining the Magic required for it to Work. With me so far?

So this begs with question: With Merlin (as far as the text informs us) 100% Dead

WHAT'S POWERING THE SPELL OF ETERNITY?

IT CAN'T BE ARTHUR. EVEN IF MERLIN ANCHORED THE SPELL TO HIM ORIGINALLY LIKE THE CHARM BRACELET (AND WE DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW THIS BTW, EVERYONE IN THE ORDER THINKS ITS THE CASE AND EVERYTHING THE ORDER THINKS IS IMMEDIATELY SUS) CANONICALLY ARTHUR PENDRAGON DOESN'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE MAGIC TO KEEP IT GOING BECAUSE HE CANNOT WORK AETHER (proven by that scene in BloodMarked)

Arthur Pendragon can use the abilities gifted to him by Excalibur and Merlin's original spell, but he can't power it himself. But SOMETHING must be- because as per Sel, aetheric workings can only last so long as the caster can maintain them and live, as as per Valchez and Patricia, all that Power has to be coming from SOMEWHERE EX.1 Bree's whole existence.

Which brings me back to the Shadowborn and the Shadow King's whole deal:

I think Merlin's spell wasn't supposed to last past the OG Table's death. Not originally anyway. Arthur and the Knights were supposed to win decisively and then the portals would be closed forever. And Bree's Bloodwalks seem to support this.

But then, The Table Captures the Shadow King's Crown, and we now Know that is an extremely Powerful Object- but we don't know what happened to it.

Just before Bloodmark's final kicks off, we get the last Arthuriana themed lore drop of the novel- And that is that the last place we saw the Crown was in the OG Table's possession- but not broken and destroyed. IN fact the text seems to support they couldn't destroy it- SO WHERE IS IT? NO ONE IN ORDER HAS EVER HINTED AT SOMETHING LIKE THIS EXISTING- IT'S VALCHEZ THAT FIRST TELLS US ABOUT THE SHADOW COURT TO BEGIN WITH.

And then we remember Morgaine Had A Plan to use the Crown somehow. Now, of course, we don't get to hear exactly what that was because Bree had some shit to work out, but I think its important that we know about that it because it provides a reason for the concentrated Shadowborn attacks on the Legendborn and also a reason for the King to still be kicking around. The Shadowborn harry the Order so hard because the original War never stopped, it just changed.

The King seems to a bit like Sauron - separated from his Crown, he's a shadow of himself (excuse my bad pun), still powerful, but limited in scope. There's no reason for a long game otherwise. But if he were trying to get his Crown back? Because the Order STILL HAD IT?

Well, that would re-contextualize a few things, wouldn't it?

[bookwyrminspiration]

real quick because the fandom's experiencing some growing pains--reminder to be nice to new fans! yes they'll have different dynamics, energies, and ways of doing things, but that's not a bad thing

we are all here to enjoy ourselves, so let them enjoy themselves. we were all new at one point. if its harmless, who cares! block if its that much of a problem/nuisance

we do not need a fandom generational divide, please and thanks <3

(and to new fans: hi! sometimes we have genuine points about etiquette like spam and tagging conventions to make the space better for everyone, but otherwise! just have fun!)

[gar-a-ash]

Trying to figure out why Hatchet has been an anxious mess all day. Realizes I've really only worked my working dog basically once this week. Sighs as I realize that after driving nonstop for basically eight hours today I still have to move around and work my dog.

Gonna make the fucker nap first because holy fuck I don't think he's slept since like 5 this morning and it is 4 now.

[camellia-thea]

because i finished my lectures last night it has been a fucking battle to do my readings.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

[blujayonthewing]

save me bulletpoints,

[euclydya]

ok i am NOT making fiddleford a bracelet fuck that guy (joke. joke. ford im joking)

[polkadotpatterson]

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.