#you dirty fucker

[ohblimeygeorge]

I wanna know how they both ended up chilling in Lewis’ room together 🥹 like it’s just so sweet honestly if both of them were feeling shit and after their ice baths if Lewis took it upon himself to be the grown up to George and be like come on mate let’s relax in my room and have dins together like 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so sweet

[ms--lobotomy]

I wanna smoke with Angron so we can get high and he eats me out

This one's for you and @undeaddream. I can fix him, (puts a bong in his hands) (sorry this came out on 4/21, the edible was sensational though)

Summary: You smoke a bowl with Angron to try to get the nails to stop hurting him.

Word Count: 1865 (oops)

Content Warnings: drug use, sploinkin' (nsfw), this is my first time writing Angron so I tried, blood, more "good girl" talk because I go absolutely apeshit over it, what I assume is rough sex, female reader so sorry if one of my lovely requesters is not a girl, I can write another version where you smoke him out and it doesn't get wild (like this at least)

Image Credit: @squishyowl (doubly tagging you because you did want an Angron fic at some point. Teehee!)

There wasn't much outdoor space in the Imperial Palace. You were situated on a bench big enough for Primarch or human, on the terrace at the top of your client's wing. It was far overgrown and untrimmed, it was clear that not many visited this area. The single moon of the planet was out tonight, tinged slightly yellow. There was a slight breeze, and you closed your eyes as you felt it on your skin. You had a job to do, the largest one you've ever had at that, but it was nice to be outside tonight.

"You here?" you heard someone bark from behind you. You snapped your head around to see none other than your client, a man--no, demigod-- by the name of Angron. Steel implements extruded from his head, and he bore a pained expression. Scars adorned his face and neck; the rest of his body was obscured underneath brass armor. He was accompanied by a few of his sons, helmed men equipped with bloodstained armor.

"I'm here," you replied, shrinking back into your flesh. He was large, very large. You'd heard of his temper; if you were to mess up even once, you would likely be ripped in half.

No matter. You pulled out your equipment. You had a bottle of water, a funny-looking glass implement, a fancy little lighter with an imperial Aquila on it, and a grinder full of a green flower cultivated on ancient Terra. You were one of the only researchers on the planet that dealt with ancient botany. You were told sometimes that you were one of the best, but if you were to come into contact with Angron, you were clearly more disposable than the others had let on.

He stared at your materials, coming in closer. "What's that."

"Oh!" you exclaimed. "The glass thing is a bong, and--"

"What kind of name is that."

"It's..." you started, your face going warm. Oh no. "It's just what the ancient Terrans called it."

"Do you think it'll help?"

You paused, and looked up at him. His eyes were garnet red, and he stared with an intense expression. He fiddled with his gauntlets a little bit.

"I'm not sure, to be quite honest," you replied. "But it's safe, and trying it will at least not hurt. Unless..." you paused, looking at him. "On second thought, you might need to take bigger hits than me."

"...You're supposed to hit it?" he asked, looking at the glass tool. As he wound up to throw a punch, you put yourself between it and him.

"Not like that!" you exclaimed. "It's how you inhale the smoke. See, you're supposed to mash up the flowers, put them in the bowl and burn them while you inhale."

"And this is supposed to make me feel better?"

"Well... maybe," you said. "It's not going to hurt you to try, at least!"

"If you say so," he sighed, rubbing his temples as you prepared the first bowl. You ground up more of the bud. When it was finally shredded, you put it in the bowl. You felt his stare at your side, but you didn't know whether it was at you or your equipment.

"Here's how you do it," you said. "You put it up to your lips, and inhale..." your voice became muffled as you put it to your lips. You stroked the lighter a few times before a flame came out, lighting the shredded flower on fire. As you inhaled, you felt smoke filling your mouth. When you felt like you couldn't bear it anymore, you exhaled.

"And... exhale," you said, a substantial cloud of smoke leaving your lips.

"Just like that?" he asked.

"You may need to inhale for longer, but yeah," you said, handing off the bong. "Here. Take a hit while it's still burning."

He put his scarred lips to the mouthpiece and inhaled, far longer than you could. He exhaled, a cloud more befitting of a man of his statue escaping him. His furrowed brows raised, and he nodded a little bit.

"Can you light it up again?"

You lit the bowl up as he inhaled again. This time he held it in a little bit before he let it out. You'd debated on telling him whether holding it in would do anything, but he would probably be okay... okay as he could be, at least.

"I..." you started as the pungent cloud hit your face. "I think we need to put more in the bowl." You gestured to the bowl, which was beginning to deplete. You looked up at Angron, whose expression was starting to relax further. After you'd taken a hit, you passed it to him.

The next few hours became a blur. You'd passed the bong between the two of you, getting higher with each puff. At some point, he'd pulled you in next to him, putting a heavy arm around you while you were smoking. You leaned your head on him, the metal cool against your flesh. Soon, one of you put the bong down between you.

"Leave now," he barked at his sons. They immediately turned around and went through the door at the other end of the terrace.

"How are you feeling?" you asked, one of his hands running through your hair.

"Not great," he admitted, "but better."

You looked up at him. His sclera were reddened, but yours didn't feel much. Despite how high you were, you'd been smoking long enough that this wasn't an issue anymore. He was looking down at you with something you hadn't seen in him before. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on. You saw him lean down to your level and plant a kiss to your lips. You put a hand to his armor and leaned in as he added his tongue, barely fitting in your mouth. He was rough, unpracticed. After a while, he pulled away, grasping for your hands. His expression was still stern, but there was a reverence in his eyes that you hadn't seen before.

"My Lord?" you asked, shivering in your seat.

"Angron," he corrected you. Even his voice bore the scars of his previous life, something you've all but heard of. He got up and knelt in front of you, still towering over you. He then went in again, his large hands grabbing at the fabric of your shirt. You let out a pitiful moan as you lifted your arms, letting him take it off of you along with your bra.

He bit your bottom lip, and you let out a little cry, grabbing for his shoulders. He wasn't gentle, and you knew that it was going to leave a mark later. He pulled back. A little bit of blood fell out of your skin, and he smirked. He pushed your hands back with his, pushing them behind your head as he bit you lower and lower, sometimes drawing blood.

"Be careful," you cautioned as he stopped at your nipple. He swirled it in his mouth as he looked up at you, grinding it with his teeth, but thankfully he did not draw blood there. He did the same thing on your other side, and you cried out, your hands tightening around his armored ones.

He bit your on your stomach a few times before he tugged at your pants. He shifted a little bit, hitting the bong with his knee and knocking it over. You looked down there for a moment. It wasn't broken, praise the Emperor. You raised your hips, and he pulled them off roughly, ripping them in some areas along with your underwear. He leaned over to snarl in your ear, giving you goosebumps.

"Good girl," he said, prying your legs open. Moans led to shrieks as he began to feast, roughly rubbing your apex as he held you down by the waist. He explored you as you came on him for the first time, trembling under his touch.

"Nngh... Angron..." you moaned, grabbing at the sides of the bench. As you were working your way up to your second climax, he pulled away.

"I may need to pull off my armor for this one," he said, peeling his gauntlets off first. You watched as each piece came off, falling to the grass with a loud thud each time. He ripped off his bodysuit, leaving the tattered fabric on the dirt. He was just as scarred over the rest of his body, scars trailing along everywhere. As he knelt down in front of you again, you absentmindedly touched one of them rippling across his chest. He grabbed your wrist, and your heart stopped in your throat.

"I'm sorry--" you started before he led your hand along the scar.

"This one was from right after the nails," he said, an almost-grimace on his face. He trailed your hand to another one. "And this one was--"

"Are you sure you want to get into this?" you asked, your other hand shakily finding its way to his face. He leaned into it, not unlike a cat would, and closed his eyes.

"You may be right," he said, his hands finding their way onto your shoulders. His grip was tight and rough, even this was going to scar you. "Let's finish the job then." He had a smirk on his lips as he moved his hands to open your legs again. You whined as he rubbed himself against you, before finally slipping himself in.

He immediately went in as far as he could, eliciting a little scream from you. "A-Angron!" you exclaimed as he pulled himself out before ramming himself into you again. Your face scrunched up in pleasure, and you grasped for anything you could reach before your hands trailed towards his chest.

He grabbed your waist, pulling you off of the bench and onto his lap. He sat up as you straddled him, pushing you on and off of him. Your eyes rolled back in your skull and your face lay against him. He wasn't gentle, you knew that you were going to feel it the next day. You came on him a second time, shivering as he sped up with you. He started grunting as well, a deep, guttural noise.

Not long after he came in you as well, twitching inside of you. You felt each twitch as he filled you up. He remained in you, but there was a little bit of white liquid coming out of you. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your head into his chest as he panted. You wrapped your arms around him as well, but you couldn't reach your way around him. He ran a hand through your hair as you spoke.

"Are you doing okay?" you asked, your voice small and tired.

"Please, let's do this again," he rumbled.

You had done your job somewhat, but you weren't going to tell your higher-ups that you had relations while on the job. In fact, you might lose your place if they found out. Sure, you had the backing of a Primarch, but your superiors might still have a problem.

You ran your hands along his back. "Of course."

[aleksanderscult]

Whoever says and promotes about how the Darkling needed to solve the political and social problems of Ravka through peace, diplomacy and faith need a reality check asap. Leigh might try hard to show how good faith in humanity and inactivity can solve everything but this is not how the world works.

[spirit-meets-the-b0ne]

HBO at Daenerys Targaryen’s grave trying to keep people invested in HotD:

[dilfhos]

i feel a lot of yall that say they hate mahito are pre -tty comfy on that wagon. pretty sure some of yall would deep down let that him worm-wiggle in ur cooch. would probably let them dozen or so wiggling hands feel on you too. imagine the many touches he could leave with his mouth alone. or ur just scared to admit it and its okay. its okay you refuse to look closely at the chisel denting his torso. at the off guard pretty glances or the hair akin to a dead raccoon’s tail. maybe his luscious lashes fr turn you off or the pathetic way he giggles. its okay. his home isn’t much either, but its honest work if you kick away the rat bones to the other side, then its okay. he won’t be able to defend you either, but if you’re strong enough to be near him that’s okay!

see its okay 😌🧘‍♀️ you’re safe now. put down your pitchfork.

[emoechoes]

Oh, Claudia. I'm so sorry. It was never about you. Even your death didn't get to be about you. I'm so sorry, Claudia. I'm so, so sorry.

[the-delightful-temptation]

//Yeah yeah I'm being called out but you're all monster fuckers..

[prancingfawn]

sometimes I think about how John had to not only hold his (basically) father at gunpoint and then watch him kill himself afterwards bc he couldn't pull the trigger.

And then I think about how he had to go down the mountain knowing he would find his father's corpse.

And then I think about how he just watched his corpse knowing that that was in fact the man who raised him and his (basically) brother.

And then I think about how he had to watch Ross shoot his corpse with his own gun because John still couldnt bring himself to do it.

And then I think about how I'm about to follow Dutch's footsteps.

KILL ME KILL ME I CANT DO THIS PLEASE

why is red dead so fucking sad I'm going to bomb Rockstar games (I am not going to do that don't sue me rockstar)

[pa-pa-plasma]

i feel like a lot of people ignore the fact that in a lot of places, bicycling just. cannot be done for half the year, & that's why public transport being good is important. i cannot bike in 5 feet of snow & ice or in 40c heat. i can't even walk in that, unless i have the energy to snowshoe or a bucket of ice water to chug.

"but I can do it!" good for you. unfortunately i live in Berk (snowing for 9 months of the year & hailing the other 3) & cannot unless i want to die. also disabled people exist. & children. & people who live in a place where everything is no closer than 30 minutes away, & 30 minutes in -30c can kill you if you can't afford a good pair of boots & a good coat. i may have bike paths but the river floods past them every year. what do i do then? bike on the highway?? just let me take the train

[eris-abomination]

I’m not trying to say people aren’t allowed to dislike the term “queer”, but a LOT of y’all are doing it so incredibly wrong.

Some of you need to realize there’s a difference between “I’m not comfortable reclaiming this word, therefore I won’t use it to describe myself” and “this word makes me so uncomfortable that I’m going to demand that nobody use it anymore”, especially when that term is an actual goddamn identity. Your comfort zones are YOURS, not someone else’s, and you have no goddamn right to tell people to stop identifying as queer or to omit the “Q” entirely from the LGBTQIA+ acronym just because you feel uncomfortable seeing and hearing it.

Our community isn’t something you can pick and choose validities from, and it sure as hell isn’t something you can sanitize into a fluffy PG-rated sunshine land. Some of us are fucking queer. Stop erasing us.

[crocodilenjoyer]

thinking about. young kid and killer scrapping in a dirty lot with split knuckles and missing teeth and their respective little gangs jeering at each other behind them contrasted by killer physically putting himself between kid and an emperor to protect him. twice.

[cosmic-ships]

Secret F/O? They skipped the crush stage? This f/o must have you in a chokehold. /pos

.....I.....I didn't even THINK ABOUT THAT HEY WAIT WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! lol

[Looks at him] YOU CANT DO THAT!!! Thats cheating!!!

[msclaritea]

WTF HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!? The #NFL allowed for a JESUS ad to show!?

Huh.

This, coupled with:

Ryan Reynolds calling himself Marvel Jesus which trolls spammed for hours

that disgusting, shit stain film from Football PARTNER, JayZ

I'd say the 1% is fucking with everyone, a whole lot.

LEFT AND RIGHT.

GOP AND some DEMS.

The whole Black Anthem thing, coming from a racially segregated institution is just absolute SATIRE. The so-called activists behind it are just stupid little worker bees. How tired are you and how much hard earned money did you all lose on Sportsbetting? Fucking dirty ass Freemasons!

[pattons-stripper-euro]

Yo so the Mike fans are EXTRA horny today right right

[ritzy-dream-boy]

i’m incapable of seeing the words dirty laundry and feeling normal that shit has like a Secret Meaning that haunts me every day

[wall-legion]

Me buzzed-ily and angrily shouting about national bakeries adding sesame flour into their recipes across the room from @ratasum's hot mic as they talk to their other guild about allergen foods.