#you didn't socialize in a way that you learned to judge situations or character. like being autistic wasn't enough

[hellyeahsickaf]

It's pretty fucked up living in an environment where your 'best years' are spent trying to survive. Then it feels like it's too late but it's not like you can do those things anyway, can't get into trouble in any way you can look back on fondly, can't fuck around the same way you maybe could have if you'd been able to. Can't say it's great spending that time sick or mentally ill or surviving trauma.

And people try to cheer you up by saying shit like "eh that shit sucks anyway, it was a waste of time" or "It wasn't all that". Like if you feel that way about that part of your life that's fine. Maybe it would've sucked for me too but at least I'd have lived it to be able to say "being a silly goose in my teens and early 20s was kinda mid". I lived it, maybe it was disappointing or great or in between. I can't imagine it being worse than what I ended up with instead

anyway i love u "losers" and "boring" people in ur teens and 20s i love you anxious people i love you autists i love you disabled people i love you chronically ill people i love you immunocompromised people i love you people who can't go out and do stereotypical teen/20s activities and i love you people who don't want to. forever!!!

[peachsayshi]

₊ ⊹ . ݁ sex worker!suguru geto x rich girl!reader ₊ ⊹ .

⊹ tags: nudity; post-sex; slightly angsty; au

:about: you grew up in a supremely wealthy household, but that came with a price. you've never had control over your own life, and now your father is set to marry you off. distraught by the news, you decide to call your contact for comfort.

:note: I don't know why but I've been thinking about this au a lot recently and I'm completely obsessed. I have so many aus for my faves and really wanted to spend some time exploring them more!

wc: 1,067

"an arranged marriage, huh?" suguru whispers, his sharp eyes dipping to your naked chest while his delicate fingers carefully push the bedsheet further down to your hips.

you inch a little closer into his frame, soaking in the outlines of his chiseled torso and bring one finger to trace little shapes on his broad shoulder. your brows furrow with annoyance, "yeah, you ever heard of the zenin family?"

suguru scoffs, breaking character for only a second. it's something that you've started noticing recently. that he doesn't hold his reactions around you as tightly as he used to. the front of this alter ego that he created has started to falter, but you find yourself drawn to the person existing underneath the mask of the seducer.

you sigh, "my father thinks naoya zenin is a perfect match for me."

an uneasy expression flickers across suguru's face, but he suppresses it before allowing it to linger.

you lift yourself up onto your elbow and rest your head on your palm. "what is it?"

suguru mimics your position, his large hand gliding back and forth over the slope of your hips and waistline. it sends goosebumps all over your body, your mind going back to the first time when you met him in person.

you still vividly remember his reaction. the way his eyes widened, and the quirk of his brow as he addressed you.

"you're young," he blurted.

"we're around the same age," you replied defensively, already feeling insecure for having hired him after you spent weeks watching his videos. you didn't even know about his house calls until you heard it from a source within your social circle. " is this how you greet all your clients?"

suguru boldly checks you out, "my other clients don't look like you..."

over time you learned that he catered to a specific demographic: older divorcees and cheating housewives.

the person you might turn into twenty years from now if this marriage goes through.

a knot forms in your stomach.

"I've heard that naoya..." suguru explains, pinching the pads of his fingers lightly against your flesh before leaning forward to kiss the crease between your brows. "can be a handful to deal with..."

you thread your fingers around his neck, your lips finding his jaw where you return a kiss. "and who told you that?" you murmur, as the weight of suguru's body rolls on top of yours.

a wicked smile ticks at the corners of his lips, and you're staring at his devastatingly handsome face from below. the longer you spent time with him the more you began to wonder about his circumstances.

the same thought constantly crosses your mind time and time again.

suguru could truly be anything he wanted but instead he was here making a killing off of fucking lonely women and making porn videos.

you aren't here to judge his choices, but you can't help but feel puzzled by the situation.

his smile gives you the answer. his source regarding naoya zenin thanks to a client, but suguru has a confidentiality policy and shares nothing about the other women he beds.

you shiver when his mouth meets your neck, his lips sucking along the tender skin that sends goosebumps all over your chest but there's an ache in your heart when you consider that if it wasn't for the signed cheque in your purse, he wouldn't even be here in the first place.

not a single man you've met in the world compares to suguru. not only was he beautiful beyond comprehension, but he had striking charm and was extremely smart. you found yourself enjoying his company beyond physical purposes, and conversations with him turned out to be one of your favorite ways to pass time.

"think we'll still get together when you're a missus?" he teases, his lips trailing lower to your collar bones and hovering just a above your breasts covered with the hickeys that he's left.

the thought of getting married makes you sick.

"do you peg me as a terrible wife? a woman who would happily cheat on her husband?" you question, your voice small and trembling when suguru circles his lips around your hard nipple.

he hums, drawing out a whimper when he nips at the bud lightly.

"no," he answers, his voice dropping an octave and your mind swirls when you contemplate if that strange tone is actually jealousy. he rests his chin on your chest, his inky hair framing his face in a waterfall of obsidian. "I do, however, peg naoya as a terrible husband"

you sink your fingers into his locks. "it doesn't matter who my father chooses, they are all the same. naoya is no worse than the rest. I'm trapped regardless..."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," suguru responds sincerely, the sweetness in his voice the reason why your eyes prick with tears.

you sniffle, using your free hand to wipe away a rogue droplet freely falls down your cheek. suguru softens his expression, adjusting his position so he was laying by your side. he doesn't say anything but draws you into his chest for a hug, enveloping you in his warmth. you try hard not to consider the reality of the situation, and accept the gesture freely as you cuddle against him.

the moment of peace is interrupted by a loud vibration. you and suguru both perk up to stare at his phone buzzing on the side table.

your heart sinks.

another client.

suguru reaches his arm around to grab the phone, and you close your eyes as you inhale his natural scent, trying to soak him in for as long as you can. but to your surprise he simply switches it off, and wraps his arm back around you to return to his position.

"you sure you don't need to take that?" you mumble, trying to play off your disappointment as casually as possible.

"I'm booked out for the rest of the evening," he answers nonchalantly, "there's no reason to respond."

a flutter in your belly sends a tingle all over your skin. "but...your cheque only covers the hours we agreed on..."

two fingers touch the underside of your chin, and suguru tilts your head up so you were both face to face again. "don't worry about it, doll," he consoles, his thumb lightly outlining your bottom lip, "this is on the house."

[elhopper1sm]

TW: Mentions of grooming

Everyone always talks about how Ian contributed to Mickey's character development but never vice versa. Like I truly believe had it not been for Mickey Ian may have accepted grooming or predatory relationships well into his twenties or beyond. Think about the show from Ian's perspective. We learn pretty early on he's the black sheep of the family. Comparisons being made to Monica the most hated member of the family and is closeted. Ian originally tends to hang out with or get with other older closeted men who've probably reinforced his their own internalized homophobia onto him. The Gallaghers are also social outcasts of the neighborhood so finding someone who could put up with his family antics and his own low self esteem. Ian was clinging to people who would show him love or appreciation even if it wasn't quality and he didn't really think he could have more. Then comes Mickey someone who is more destitute than him and of a lower social strata and the brother of his best friend. There are experiences of his life Mickey will understand and won't judge him for. Also Mickey adores Ian. He sees him as basically one of if not the best person ever. Mickey cares deeply about Ian and it's obvious. Even when he's trying to hide it. Maybe that's why in the earlier seasons he feels so quick to sort of mess with Mickey's feelings to see if he loves him it's confirmation that Mickey does love him and he needs that. Notice how after spending time with Mickey he isn't as likely to go to the people who are likely to hurt him. Mickey even keeps him from getting harmed making him feel like he deserves more than that. One of the reasons I believe Ian broke up with Mickey towards the end of season 5 is because he actually feels like he's not good enough for Mickey. Like he'll corrupt him or taint him. Which makes sense why he feels this way. One because when he was in a depressive state while making that decision. And two he was because he's constantly compared to Monica accused of corrupting Frank. Once he breaks up with Mickey he tries to join or listen in on the LGBTQ+ club at Lip's college and see if he'll fit in there. He's trying to find people who make him feel valuable and like he deserves more the way Mickey did. Even up to Season 10 he's still doubting whether or not it will work with Mickey but not because of who Mickey is but because of who he is and what's wrong with him. Which is also why I think Ian pressure Mickey to move to the West Side with him. I think in Ian's brain or own strange logic because Mickey gave him the courage to think he deserved more he thinks but getting him and Mickey into a nice apartment or better upgraded living situation that's his way of letting Mickey know he can and will and deserves to have better. Again a foolish decision to change the area where you and your partner live without asking them but I truly believe. It was because he thought it was his way of letting Mickey know he deserved better.

[alicent-vi-britannia]

Why did Rolo kill Shirley?

When I entered the Code Geass fandom, I quickly learned that the world is divided into two groups: either you love Rolo because he killed Shirley (you're a Shirley hater) or you hate Rolo because he killed Shirley (you're a Shirley fanboy). But, since I'm an anti-establishment person, I don't identify with either group and I take my own position: I suffer equally for Shirley and Rolo because one of my favorite characters killed another of my favorites and that fractured one of my favorite relationships in the series (damn you, Code Geass, so many years watching KDramas, movies, anime, animated series and TV series and I never found myself in an emotional dilemma like this). So today I'll analyze what led Rolo to kill Shirley. But before that I would like to invite you to read the first analysis I wrote about Rolo in which I investigated why Lelouch manipulated and deceived Rolo successfully, as there I delved into Rolo's damaged mind and it is vital to understand Rolo's background and what situation he is in. That is why I'll be forced to rescue three key points from that analysis and expand on them, before answering the question.

Point #1 "Rolo's background".

It's difficult to judge Rolo since he was not educated in values ​​and norms like the rest of the characters and even us, the viewers, despite the difference that exists between environments. Rolo wasn't raised to be a human by loving parents or guardians, on the contrary, he was trained to be a killing machine by the Geass Order. Therefore, he has no morals or discernment of right and wrong or social skills or emotional tools. Just as I said in that analysis, Rolo never grew up. He is a child who was given a gun. Something similar to Superboy in Titans, who killed a man as soon as he took his first steps in the world and never repented because he didn't understand that what he did was wrong nor did he know that the power he had carried with it a responsibility; although, for Rolo, killing is little more than fulfilling a duty. In the Order of Geass, Rolo was indoctrinated (which is not the same as "taught") to follow orders, solve problems through violence (specifically, through murder) and repress his social, emotional and affective needs. This indoctrination conditioned Rolo for his entire life. Rolo is a child who had his life stolen from him and his mind controlled, even by the person he loved the most: his brother, Lelouch. And here I will take the opportunity to link it to the next point...

Point #2 "Lelouch's manipulation and Rolo's mental fragility".

As soon as Lelouch regained his memories, he realized that Rolo was a problem (because Rolo had been ordered to kill him and his Geass made him dangerous) and that the best way to handle him (and, furthermore, take advantage of him) was through manipulation and lies, since Lelouch observed that Rolo never had a family, but he wanted, deep down, to create an emotional connection since, despite the conditioning of the Geass Cult, Rolo was still a human being. However, Rolo's genuine and pure desire for a family (brother, in this case) tells us something else that is pertinent to take into account: Rolo also desires validation and this contributes to Rolo having low self-esteem.

Rolo has no appreciation for anyone's life, not even his own. Watch R2 Episode 4: Lelouch tells Rolo that if he kills him right then he will lose two things and one of them is his life, to which Rolo literally replies: "Like I care about that.". I suppose that's why the Geass Order conditioned him to see himself as a worthless tool: that way if one day Rolo gave problems to V.V.'s evil organization, he wouldn't oppose being eliminated; it's even safe to say that the lack of value that Rolo gave to his life optimized his performance in missions, since he would accept all the risks, regardless of what happened to him. Likewise, the lack of appreciation for life and his work as a hitman for the Geass Order are the reason why Rolo trivializes murder, to the point of putting it on the same level as mundane and ordinary activities like brushing the teeth.

As a consequence of all this, Rolo is someone manipulable and without mental strength, which makes him very vulnerable and a perfect victim for a snake charmer and, moreover, a silver tongue like Lelouch. This scenario that I have just described is the ideal breeding ground for an emotional dependence of Rolo towards Lelouch to develop and that is exactly what Lelouch intends to do, why? Because in this way Lelouch will have at his disposal the complicity, the skill and the Geass of Rolo who will follow him out of practically unconditional devotion and will prevent Rolo from betraying him in the future, how will he do it? By putting himself at the center of Rolo's small world. In episode 4 of R2, Lelouch urges Rolo to find a purpose in life and convinces him (or, rather, manipulates him) that he is that purpose, that only he can bring him a future, make the promise of a change come true. A happy life with his brother. Rolo won't notice the red flags, he'll even tolerate them if he sees them, because he finally has validation and affection. For the first time, someone acknowledges his existence and tells him and shows him that he is valuable and important.

But a presence threatens Lelouch and Rolo's wonderful partnership and it emerges at the moment Rolo killed Shirley. No. Rolo didn't kill Shirley because he hated her or want to annihilate all of Lelouch's loved ones to isolate him and keep him for himself, he killed her because she said, " I wanna bring all the happiness back into Lelou’s life! Then maybe he could be together with his sister, Nunna!" That's right. Nunnally.

The series made it clear to us in R2 episode 7 that the mere name of Nunnally unnerved Rolo and in R2 episode 18 Rolo is determined to kill her. Why? Because Rolo is jealous of Nunnally and jealousy is a manifestation of insecurities, but what is Rolo insecure about? The love that Lelouch says he professes for him. Rolo is perfectly aware that he has taken Nunnally's place (that was the mission that the Geass Order entrusted him with) and that Lelouch sincerely loves his sister, so that not only Lelouch sees Rolo as a "false brother", he sees and feels himself that way too. Therefore, Rolo feared that Lelouch would get rid of him once Nunnally returned and poor Rolo was right since Lelouch intended that same thing before Shirley was killed. However, losing Lelouch not only implied an emotional loss for Rolo, it also implied losing his purpose and his identity since Rolo has no future without Lelouch nor is he anyone without him. Lelouch is the one who can make Rolo happy, Lelouch is the one who validates Rolo and if he disappears, what will become of Rolo, who can no longer be the Geass Order's hitman or Lelouch's brother?

So when Shirley showed the naive and noble intention of reuniting Lelouch with Nunnally, Rolo felt threatened by a danger that had been stalking him for a long time in his worst nightmares, breathing down his neck and what did he do? He dealt with the danger as he dealt with all his problems, the only way he knew how: by killing Shirley. Thus Rolo eliminated any possibility of the reunion between siblings and Lelouch would know nothing of the help that Shirley offered him.

I think Rolo chose to believe the lie he made up, that is, that he killed Shirley to protect Lelouch's identity, instead of accepting that he felt vulnerable and in danger, because that reason legitimized his crime and, at the same time, was the best defense mechanism. Rolo couldn't accept that he somehow hurt Lelouch; instead, if he helped and protected him, the murder becomes acceptable and even forgivable. For no other reason Rolo reveals to Lelouch why he killed her before he asks him, in search of validation, of course, just like a puppy that pants and licks its owner to be rewarded with a bone.

If Rolo were a normal person, if Lelouch and Rolo didn't have such a toxic relationship, if there were therapists in Britannia who could treat Lelouch and Rolo, everything would have been solved with a heart-to-heart talk and personal work. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

Shirley's murder was a direct consequence of manipulating, lying to, and using a boy who was abused as a child, who was conditioned by adults who were supposed to protect him, and who has emotional deficiencies. It's tragic for Shirley because it's unfair that she had to pay the price. It's tragic for Rolo because he wanted to preserve his happiness and ended up destroying his relationship with Lelouch. It's tragic for Lelouch because it's his responsibility (even if the fanboys continue to only blame Rolo).

All of this seems to indicate that Lelouch and Rolo’s relationship is based on manipulation and lies and yes, that’s true, however, there was also love and that’s what’s interesting about Lelouch and Rolo’s relationship. It’s beautifully twisted, more so than Suzaku and Lelouch? Uhm! Maybe yes, I’m not sure at the moment, more so than Lelouch and C.C.? Hell! I dare say no. One day we will address the positive aspect of this relationship and we will do so when I discuss Rolo’s death; but, before that, I will talk a little about Lelouch and Kallen’s relationship, which is the most underrated relationship of all, despite the nuances and complexities. Maybe I'll talk about why Kallen returned to Lelouch, despite him showing himself to be a leader unworthy of her loyalty; maybe I'll talk about the time when Lelouch lies to save Kallen from the firing squad, which is one of the most underrated, heartbreaking and romantic moments in the series. We'll see. For now, I hope you enjoyed the analysis and that it has improved your understanding of Rolo's character and his relationship with Lelouch. Nowadays, I just want to talk about my favorite series and forget that the alternate universe exists, which is difficult considering there's a spin-off airing. I hope there are fans who share my feelings. Without further ado, I'll take my leave.

[utilitycaster]

I've been thinking about this since I started getting tags on this post (which was initially in part about Imogen, but also to an extent Laudna; see the end of this post) about Shiv Roy of Succession, and it was solidified in the incredibly apt comparison of Imogen's powers and the trauma they cause to generational trauma. I initially wanted to cover Shiv too in this, since I agree that in a much more grounded way the same thing often happens to her in fandom, but I think it made the too long post even longer and required a lot of context about Succession, and the fact is that while they share many similarities, Shiv and Imogen are sufficiently different people that an extended comparison weakens the argument. That said, if you are familiar...keep it in mind.

Part of what makes Imogen such a unique character and apt metaphor is that her "privilege" and the harm done to her are even more definitively from the same source than the generational trauma inflicted by a wealthy parent. The fact that the source is a cosmic horror further complicates things, as it's hard to adequately blame the unknowable. It is further complicated by the fact that her mother, at least, believes the way to end the cycle is to free that cosmic horror, and we as the audience do not know for sure if that's true.

Imogen has magical powers beyond what her humble upbringing could have provided her, but, until she receives her circlet, they require immense effort to control. These powers are initially unwanted both by her and those around her, as they represent a profound, if unintended, invasion of privacy. Her isolation is implied to be itself a vicious cycle: she doesn't want to be overwhelmed by the thoughts of others, and so withdraws, and they don't want her to know their thoughts, so they do the same. She says this of father: "No, no, no, my dad's great! He tried, you know, when things started happening, and it wasn't like that growing up, you know, I didn't have all of this. I don't know why it started. It was hard for him, you know? Because I didn't want to be around very many people, and... he just kind of - distanced himself because he knew it made me more comfortable, and...you know, the people in town started talking, and I think he tried to distance himself socially as well for a while to try to, you know. Not his fault, totally." (episode 3x06, 37:35) She later wonders (correctly) if Relvin were partially motivated by not wanting her to learn some of his secrets. She also muses (as we later learn, incorrectly) that his life is probably easier and better without her there. And, most notably, she asks herself why she didn't leave Gelvaan prior to Laudna's arrival.

While the psychic powers are both the cause of Imogen's own harm, physical and psychological; and the damage that invasion of privacy, while again severe, is unintentional; Imogen's departure from Gelvaan is marked by her nearly killing several townspeople. When she returns and speaks to her father, it's revealed that she was aware that she might have killed them. The precise details of why she attacked in that way are not made clear, so it's difficult to judge her level of control and intent in that situation, but the material facts are that she could have killed several people, and does not seem to have considered what this means with regards to how others might see her.

Imogen is justifiably cynical, because she hears everyone's worst thoughts. But as a result she judges people on those thoughts more so than their actions. The problem, of course, is that she focuses on intent and ideology more so than outcome. As Ashton puts it when Imogen considers whether the Vanguard might be good, "There's a bunch of people who are treating other people like they're fucking nothing, like they're fucking pawns. It doesn't matter what the fuck they want. They are doing it wrong." It's why Imogen sees no issue floating the idea of siding with Laudna's murderer: their vision is compelling and she (Imogen) knows that she (Imogen) does not intend harm. But it is a harmful statement nonetheless. That's the problem: one is not always the most objective judge of one's own intent; and that it's very easy to always see the nuance in one's own actions while ignoring how good the reasoning behind other people's actions may be. Imogen knows surface thoughts, but does she know the entire history of everyone whose mind she reads? Are those judgments fair?

Imogen thinks those surface thoughts are enough, and, notably, she will use those powers against people's will to do so, as witnessed with FCG: "I've been trying my damndest to not look into all y'all's minds all the fucking time because it felt like an invasion of privacy. But I will if I have to!" It is a sympathetic statement, since it takes place immediately after FCG's attack...but on the other hand, Imogen has herself (reasonably) scolded FCG for similarly reading her mind without permission, and this is still a surveillance tactic that denies FCG their privacy. To Imogen, the intent is to protect; but that doesn't mean it's not invasive.

Imogen's destruction in Bassuras is very much her being pushed to the limit, and to her immense credit, no one in Bells Hells is injured by it. But we don't know if that's true of any NPCs. [as an aside, if Imogen is not responsible, then Laudna's claim that this is a display of how incredible Imogen is (3x65 at 3:19:34) is no longer valid]. Is this power intentional, in which case under Imogen's system of morality, which is entirely about intent, she is culpable? Is it unintentional, in which case she is still the cause of the damage? If she bears no responsibility, doesn't that make her a simple tool of Otohan? Wouldn't that be worth confiscating or rendering inoperable if that were the case? (to be clear: I don't think that is the case. I think Imogen's agency is, in fact, her saving grace: denying it makes her a tool of mindless destruction, whereas validating it allows her to use these powers for good.)

I would even go so far as to say that this is the running theme of the campaign. Bells Hells can, in a way, be split into two groups: those grappling with both the legacies and the trauma inflicted by one's parents (Fearne, Ashton; Orym serving as a counterexample of someone who follows in good footsteps) and those exploring whether you are the monstrous loss of control or the one who controls it (Chetney, Laudna) with FCG and Imogen - especially Imogen - standing in the overlap of these circles. They have suffered immense loss and pain from these powers and from the ones who made them like this. They have also done great damage themselves. Perhaps they will break that cycle; because this is D&D and they are the heroes, and because I like them, I hope they will.

I will say, because this is within the context of people pushing back against even the most milquetoast criticisms of Imogen, that I recall the gnarlrock fight. In that, Imogen was, among a segment of the fandom - a segment I suspect overlaps with the one now vehemently defending her against each perceived slight - the villain. Because Laudna didn't mean it! Delilah controlled her! And yet, there's Imogen's gnarlrock, and what it represented - she thought it could be what the circlet was - broken. There's Orym and Fearne and Laudna, told to their faces that the person who murdered them might be right. There's the Verdict, nearly burnt to death. There's two people nearly dead in Gelvaan; there's a swath of people whose secrets have been revealed against their will.

You can be a person, who is capable of good and bad and for whom good is an effort and a credit and something you choose, who is responsible for the harm they do even if the intent was to do good; or you can be a mindless object wielded by the controller. Those are the options. I like Imogen too much to reduce her to the latter.

As a final thought, I'd like to share a tweet, which, as you may have heard, Matt Mercer himself liked (well - the first one):

I do not think she is kind, as the above meta hopefully illustrates, but I also don't particularly value "kind" in D&D characters; I am a massive fan of good is not nice as a trope so that doesn't really weigh on my opinion of Imogen. I do agree she is, on the whole, consistently choosing to be good. And I agree with those villain comparisons:

Delilah's love is self-centered in intent, and she is aware of it; "I broke the world for you" is an admission of how profoundly she has upset the cosmic balance. She sees the world, and she sees Sylas's body, and she makes her choice. Lucien too would destroy Exandria for power; he would destroy the source of the power itself for power. Selfish. Liliana and Otohan sell out those who tried to help them, leaving their minds to be destroyed by Ludinus; they, as Imogen states, could be putting at risk everyone who relies on divine magic; they are making choices for Imogen herself without Imogen's input. She is capable of the same self-centeredness, and frequently shows it, but unlike them, does not follow it to the logical extreme.

For Imogen's good to mean anything - for it to be a choice, for it to be intentional rather than automatic, and therefore, of her own admission, good - it must be pushing back against something. And that something is a deep self-centeredness. She is fighting it, but it is there, and to deny it denies the goodness as well. And if she at times stumbles in that fight? Well, as they say, we love a girlfailure.

[fumifooms]

to you, what’s Chilchuck’s mbti type? if you check Personality Database, you’ll see there’s a never ending debate on it. If you don’t know much about cognitive functions, it’s a very interesting tool for analysing characters. I highly suggest checking mbti-notes’ blog

Ehhh I'm not invested in MBTI whatsoever anymore tbh. Like I'm an intp and even now after having had some mbti phases I still don't have a good grasp on it. I'd say estj? estp? But there are like so many layers to this- What I've actually started doing personality type for character analysis though is enneagrams!! Enneagram personality types center around the core fear and the core desire of the person. Which, already, a fear and a desire being fundamentally interwoven how cool and raw is that. Figuring out an enneagram tritype is to know what drives them in their decision making. The thing that's hard esp with Chilchuck and mbti is that he's a much more easygoing guy off work, he's extroverted he just has bad experiences opening up so he's always just throwing jokes and jabs instead, he's a pretty stubborn guy that relies on his gut like his reasons for ot eating a fishman is "because." and his reasons for racism is much the same BUT he's also a pretty by-the-book type when it comes to laws and rules and just, doing his job well and ensuring everyone stays alive- there are straining circumstances that make whether he's an extrovert or not or a thinking or a sensing type etc harder to cleanly say because he's both, in a way. Enneagrams are really really nice and cool because it allows for more nuance imo, it's more cause-and-effect I feel. Like, it IS hard to determine if say Chilchuck is more J or P, even more S or N etc etc but you know what's pretty easy to figure out when you lay it out? Chilchuck's a 6w7.

Sixes seek stability- They want security and support and fear the lack of it. And his wing is 7 which is the more free spirit type very into the present party animal, the fear of being deprived & in pain the desire to be satisfied and content, which is PERFECT because that's what Chilchuck is y'know- he loves alcohol even if it's bad for him he just wants simple pleasures and eyecandy and he doesn't like thinking through things, everything is so stressful, but even though he's a very guts type of person he prioritizes rules and laws all the time- why? Because of trauma. Because he knows nothing's more important than having stable finances and a home and food and a peaceful life- even if he wishes he didn't have to hold back and be constrained to a shitty system so much. Like there's sooo much I could say here that isn't "well he's 54% sensing and 46% intuition so he's balanced but also this is in these situations and those in that". AND THEN ENTERS THE TRITYPE, THE MIGHTIEST TOOL!!! A Tritype has layers of motivations and psychology ok. Because here already we can say, he's a 7 but trauma and circumstances made him a 6. But with a tritype? Chil's a 638. His goal is stability and to do that he wants to be hypercompetent and distrusts everyone.

5-6-7 are a head type, or yout thinking center, it's how you judge the world sort of? How you see it, your relationship with it. 5s are very inward and 7s are very outward, living within themselves or outside themselves, 5s study a lot about the world to think through stuff while 7s want to be out there experiencing and sensing- which in turn points to their flaws too, 7s often have trouble self-reflecting and sort of try to escape being with themselves so to speak, while 5s have trouble getting out into the world and socialize n shit. 6 is the middle ground of head types because it goes both inward and outward at once, it's more balanced, Chilchuck in an ideal world, in his youth, is more of a 7 but he learns with his 8 distrust that he needs to be more 3 and rely on himself more and think things through more than just diving headfirst into things.

2-3-4 are the heart type, the feeling center, and that's your relationship which yourself- not on what criteria you judge the world like before but on what criteria do you just yourself? Your own worth? 2 is outward and 4 is inward, 4 has a big focus on forging yourself an identity and being authentic in that and that's where you get your self-worth from, meanwhile 2s are all about others- your worth is the one perceived by others, it's if you're loved or not. Again 3 is that mix where it's not just external validation or internal validation but a mix of both, it's the desire to be valuable, successful and capable. It's being very achievement-based. Being a 6 cools him a little in that it keeps the overly ambitious and reckless ideas in check, but there's how Chilchuck moved from his town to Kahka Brud the city of opportunities when he was younger, how he wants to become a merchant like with his store yes but more ambitiously like with the giant frogs extra, there's how he's always telling the party how professional and capable he is while insulting his virtues and strenght of the character, so def not a 2 lol. He's actively pushing others away and only relies on the knowledge he's good at his job to feel good about himself-

Which would be because of his gut type, or action center, for which the option are 8-9-1. How do you judge others, how do you see them, what's your approach to them? 1 are inward because it's all about your morality code and how well others conform to it, the judgement comes from inward and often is targeted inward too, 1s are very self-critical, it's very rigid, meanwhile for a lack of a better way to describe it 8 is the hypervigilance type lol, it's the ptsd type it's the "don't trust others" type, the attention is always thrown outward, the judgement is from outward because it comes from experiences and it is thrown outward at others. It's the fear of being harmed or controlled and the desire to have control over your own life and be protected.

So see how it all works out?!! the order of the types in a tritype are also important, the first it comes then the more important it is to you. Chilchuck is a 638, because 6 is stability and that's his goal, that's what he wants most that's what in his mind is the solution to his problems- and why? Because 8, because the fear of being harmed or controlled from his experience being seen as an inconsequential life, a bait a sacrifice, and from his living in poverty. It informs in what way he's a 6- and what of 3 then? 3 is both the way he'll achieve 6 and the way he shields himself from his 8 fear. You can trust no one? Be self-reliant. People are trying to take advantage of you? Be smarter. How are you going to achieve 3? By being capable, a hardworking that achieves things. His desire is for a life in which he's stable and safe, and for that he sees the world as his enemy that he can't rely on and instead becomes very focused on himself and his own achievements. He does a fair share of both observation and thinking in how he judges the world & life and similarly relies on a mix of external validation through achievement and recognition from peers and internal self-worth for how he visualizes himself, but is very outward in his judgement of others similarly. This is the real brief version of it gdhbc hopefully you get the idea though

And enneagrams has a lot of documentation and even more interwoven shit that gets crazy intricate and somehow accurate and I am noooot well versed in all that my friend is way better versed lol. Like there's a thing about how when stressee a type falls into another type and when they grow on their flaws they adopt some values/lessons from another type and like. Hmmm this rings a bell!!

Tritypes are a very layered but rewarding approach to character analysis where everything ends up connected and explained by one thing or another- and it's a lot about pinning down what drives a character most, and you know who that's pretty hard to decisively figure that about? Laios. Who do I have an enneagram tritype character analysis in the works for? You guessed it hehehe

If curious, my other picks for characters' enneagrams currently are: Laios 478 (I am confident and I will explain myself IN DETAIL don't you worry), kabru 163, Benichidori 8w9, Hien 3w4? 🤔 Falin's the most 9 in the world and Toshiro is very 1 and 9 both but my final say'd be 9w1 I think. Falin 926 I'd say bc stability is important to her but moreso because of her loved ones, she wants her loved ones to be stable bc she wants their love and aaaaa. Marcille very 531 but 2 fits her a lot too- it's similar to Chil's 6w7 where the 6 is to shield the 7 I feel haha. Her motivation is to be loved and all she need her external validation but it's very achievement and capability based. Seeee though Marcille and Chil they're opposed in the gut center and a bit head centre with how they see the world with Chilchuck being more 7 leaning and Marcille not being realist enough bc she's too inward, but as coworkers they bonded and paired off a lot bc they have that similar 3 to them, their enneagrams help frame their arc of where their flaws were and complimented. Senshi's a big 7 to meee but a little 7w6 actually 🤔? I dunno it can be hard to pick, since there are opposite types you really have to make big choices on what behavior comes from where and judge if the cause and behavior is more one type or the other and sheeesh, haha.

Enneagrams and tritypes are a masterclass in how your desires shape you and that's sooo Dungeon Meshi.

[lurkingteapot]

Step by Step ค่อย ๆ รัก Ep 4

we know the drill …

- team building activities? say it ain't so

- RICH PEOPLE I swear to dogs

- OH this is how I know Ying's actress, she's Annie's mother in Mama Gogo!! the sporty outfit did it

- OH and is this Bruce??? Aoey from Lovely Writer??

- man, the gossip in this office. maybe I'm too neurodivergently inattentive to social stuff to get pulled into that sort of stuff normally but like. the most we got at the office was like "I hear the new transfer yells at clients" or "coworker X is getting married, please sign this card and if you like, we're collecting money for a gift." how do these people get ANY work done.

- oh this is NOT going well, yike

- NAN'S FACE JUST NOW she know's what's up (or suspects)

- oh wow Jeng's stare just now, I would've WITHERED if I were that kid

- okay, so he DOES have a condo as well as the house, okay. confusion from last ep somewhat lifted. rich people.

- Pat, when he said "make yourself at home" I'm pretty sure he meant "don't worry about using too much hot water," NOT "snoop around all the cabinets when you're meant to be getting cleaned up so you can go to your work thing"

- OH WOW wow he's cleaned up nicely. and WHAT A GROOM SEEING THE GROOM SHOT THAT JUST WAS, complete with the stairs, I am LOSING it.

- AND THEY MATCH oh my god I'm grinning so wide, incredible. I was not expecting this show to be cute? but it is SO CUTE.

- IT IS BRUCE I love him. Please let his character in this be well-rounded.

- uuurgh executive meddling, HATE IT. and also all of this is so tense. I'm on leave, I shouldn't be getting stressed about OTHER PEOPLE'S FICTIONAL WORK ISSUES

- first oishi and now tao kae noi, I'm getting homesick for BBS here

- how brainwashed by capitalism have I been to be like "9 to 5 doesn't seem that bad" -- WHAT THE FUCK, JENG.

- oh, okay, that's how he meant it. yeah, Pat needs to learn to stand up to P'Ying and P'Prem, but … ????

- unfortunately that's not what Pat heard, huh

- WHY ARE YOU INKING WITH A BRUSH, and one that thick at that??? I mean not to judge but-- okay no, I'm judging

- uh-oh

- Bad Buddy conditioned me to expect a Nivea Micellar Acne Free Cleanser ad here, gj on defying expectations, show

- so Put IS the ex. ok ok ok.

- oh wow oh wow oh yikes

- youtube subtitles created using mtl? urgh. mtl that was not sufficiently cleaned up?? BURN IT.

- URGH why is Ying there

- oh NO another misunderstanding (and WHY did he right to suspecting this was Pat tho)

- once again everything would be so much easier if these folks just talked to one another, but I guess the power dynamics at play here do give a real reason NOT to be frank, huh

- A CHILD. Of course it's a child.

- subtitle game deteriorating steadily, that was "DO call him 'brother' (as opposed to 'uncle')"

- oh no, poor Pat, being subjected to a double set of puppy dog eyes

- appreciation board! translation notes for stuff not in the subs over here

- YES Chot has a bf and they're cute together, THANK.

- I'm DYING oh fuck this is why personal and work phones need to separate devices

- Jeng is WAY more patient with Pat than I would've been with ANYONE in this situation. Man's got it bad.

- THAT BGM WAS IN BBS AS WELL

- oh, Ms Nadia is intrigued

- the enemy really IS seniority, yikes

- he's bad at karaoke and picks old-fashioned songs!!! I love that

- because he's WHIPPED is why (okay and also he thinks Pat genuinely has potential)

- oh RIGHT we still have the potential pregnancy plot here. right.

- oh my GOD we're talking about this now???????

- Pat, you say these things and don't think about what they sound about at all, huh

- all ominous but I bet it's just, like … Put

- annnnnnd here we are. Godddd Up looks so !!!!!!!! here

---

Okay but I feel ROBBED that we didn't get to see more of Pat and Jeng at the auction. Those suits!

[tired-teacher-blog]

Can I get the mha guys, idc who, reacting to y/n that curses alot, not in a mean or angery way like Bakugou it just so happens their vocab constants of alot of curse words.

Thank you love 💖

Of course love you got it!

Title : Profanities

Characters : Dabi/ Shigaraki/ Aizawa/ Yamada/ Izuku/ Bakugo/ gender neutral reader

Genre : Fluff/ comedy/ headcanons

Masterlist

Dabi :

He loves it honestly. He enjoys seeing you all worked up and cursing for whatever reason.

He would even rile you up on purpose just to see that side of you.

He enjoys it more if you're not even mad when you do it.

Just seeing your excited face and smiling lips uttering all sorts of heinous words. He can listen to that for days.

The first time he heard you cussing was the day you met. At first he didn't pay much attention to you even after you introduced yourself, but later on when you cursed for the first time in front of him he just couldn't take his attention off of you.

Let's just say you're the person he talks to the most and the closest one to him.

Shigaraki :

He just clicks his tongue and glares at you, silently judging.

He doesn't like it when you start cursing for the most random reasons. He simply can't understand why you do it.

Even though you try your hardest to minimize your swearing in front of him, some indecent words still slip out of your mouth here and there.

He suggested you take a moment to think about your words before uttering them, and you really tried, but even that didn't work.

After a while he noticed that you started avoiding him, and didn't understand at first until he cornered you and insisted on you to explain.

He was shocked to learn that you were afraid of continuously disappointing him with your way of speaking and decided to avoid him instead.

He felt guilty, he didn't want you of all people to tip toe around him so he asked you to be yourself and to never change again.

Present mic :

This guy just joins your cursing session. And it's embarrassing because he's too loud so there is no way you're not turning some heads.

At first you thought he was doing it because he wanted you to stop cursing: like he'd put you in an awkward situation so you would think before speaking.

And that's why you went with it and tried really hard to "meet his expectations".

But you soon realized you were wrong when he started asking about the reason for your change.

It took you a minute to realize that he actually enjoyed your little outbursts, and that he only joined in for that exact reason.

He's cute, in his own unique way, and you decided that you wanted to see that side of him even more, which is why you both let loose not caring about anything but each other.

Aizawa :

He tries his hardest to hide his smirk when you start randomly swearing, and pretends to hate it. But in reality he enjoys it more than he's willing to admit.

It's fascinating seeing you speaking those words with the most relaxed and indifferent expressions. It's like you're not even aware of what you're saying.

And it's one of the reasons why he prefers to stick to your side when you're around other people outside of your social group. He worries you might unconsciously offend someone or put yourself in trouble, so he makes sure to alert you when he feels it coming.

He would never tell you this, but he finds this little habit of yours extremely cute, and sometimes he even joins in with his own cuss words.

Bakugo :

You find his reaction to be really weird. He uses strong language himself, and on a daily basis like it's nothing, but if you happen to cuss in front of him he gets mad. He hates it when you speak that way.

So to put an end to your quarrels about the matter, you two put up a challenge:

None of you is allowed to use profanities in front of other people, and whoever loses has to grant the winner a wish of their chosing.

It was tough, tougher than you two thought it would be. And no matter how hard you tried, one of you had to lose. And it was you.

You were fuming especially when seeing him teasing you nonstop.

As for your punishment, it was the last thing you expected. He just approached you slowly and whispered mere inches from your face: " I want a kiss, that's your punishment."

Izuku :

He flinches and turns into a tomato everytime you curse. He's a shy person so hearing profanities coming out of your mouth makes him a little uncomfortable especially if you two are in public.

He knows you're not doing it on purpose, and he knows that more often than not, you end up in trouble because of it. It's just the way you are and the way you've always been.

He tries as best as he could to help you reduce your use of strong language by suggesting alternative words to say everytime you feel like cursing.

Like for instance, if you feel like saying the word "fuck" you can replace it with "flower" and so on.

It's easier said than done to be honest, but you're trying your best for him and he appreciates it more than you know.

[creative-lampd-liberties]

I read the previous post and then, um, wrote an essay apparently.

I have a hypothesis that Virgil and Janus are both Thomas's Self-preservation, and that this is what sits at the root of their conflict with each other.

They're not both Self-preservation in the same way the twins are both Creativity, because there are always two aspects to self-preservation in people. The instinctual, hind-brain, internal drive to survive; Virgil. And the more conscious, front-brain, social need to not be ostracized; Janus.

Over time they became Anxiety (specifically "heightened") and Deceit, because those were the primary mechanisms by which they kept Thomas safe.

Character Thomas being heavily based on actual Thomas means that we can pretty safely assume he grew up a gay kid in the southern US, in a catholic family. I can speak from experience when I say that no matter how loving or supportive your immediate family is, that can leave some serious trauma. It's a scary situation to be in when you're young.

So Self-preservation told little Thomas that he was different and different is bad. People might hurt you if you're different. You should avoid letting people know you are different. You should hide who you are. You should avoid situations that might make people question you. And when directly asked, you should lie. Do these things so you can be safe.

And for a while, Virgil and Janus were probably in accord, more or less. But as Thomas got older and learned more about the world and himself, something changed. Sometimes the coping mechanisms we develop to survive negative situations no longer serve us. Thomas came out, and he was embraced by his loved ones. He built a community and a support network of people who loved him for who he was. He was safe, or at least as safe as anyone can be.

Avoiding uncomfortable situations or conflicts, hiding who he was, didn't serve the person he was becoming. And Thomas began working on unlearning those less than helpful coping strategies. 

And he started with Anxiety, because oftentimes fear responses are the easiest to identify. And the only way to release unhelpful coping mechanisms is to acknowledge them and the role they played in keeping you safe, to accept the positive and necessary origins of them. Anxiety is Self-preservation. Anxiety keeps you safe, keeps you alive. Sometimes Anxiety just needs to be channeled into different coping strategies.

Virgil is accepted.

But unlearning coping strategies doesn't happen overnight. And Virgil is terrified of going back to being "part of the problem." And Thomas is still afraid that some of his less healthy coping mechanisms and less palatable traits make him a bad person. 

And lying is one of those things still viewed as inherently morally wrong by society. And lying as a defense mechanism has probably caused Thomas a fair few problems. And Virgil is still the instinctual part of Self-preservation. It's a very black and white reactionary trait. There is danger, or there isn't. There is a tiger in the room, or there's not. To Virgil, Deceit is still "part of the problem" to be dealt with the way one deals with a tiger in the room.

For his part, Janus also realizes that regularly lying is not a helpful coping mechanism. It's why he's encouraging Thomas to be more honest with himself. That's where you start to dismantle that habit. Because if you're not honest with yourself, it's a lot harder to recognize when you're lying to keep yourself safe. But he rejects the notion that Thomas can never lie to protect himself, because that would also be unhealthy. Janus isn't wrong here. If your life is at risk when you tell the truth, lying is morally neutral.

Also both of their jobs are made significantly harder because Virgil used to work with Janus and now he treats him like the enemy. Janus feels attacked and afraid, abandoned and judged, like Virgil did a 180° on him. And Virgil feels like he's losing hard won ground in helping Thomas. Which is a really great metaphor for the way it feels when your new coping methods bump up against your old ones. 

Janus isn't fully accepted. Yet.

Thomas hasn't yet learned all the coping skills he needs to solve that conflict within himself. But he's getting there. Virgil and Janus have both acknowledged that the way they used to function to keep Thomas safe, isn't healthy anymore. They're both trying to change the way they do their jobs. They just haven't figured out how to work together going forward. That will hopefully come with time.

Anyway that's my take. 

[innocentimouto]

How would you characterize Jet? What are his most critical characteristics? I feel like I don't have a great grasp on his character. I know more about how people mischaracterize him than how people characterize him.

I've been planning to make a comprehensive post on this for years, but I keep putting it off.

How do I do this? I don't know you're just going to have to trust the process.

Jet is very serious and pessimistic when it comes to the war. 

Despite people blaming Aang for not saving the world in s1 and s2, Jet, whose entire plot purpose was his "extremist hatred", never brought that up. He didn't ask about why the Avatar abandoned the world, or what the plan was to end the war.

His focus was protecting the valley where he and the kids under him lived. I don't think he believed he'd live to see the war end.

I also think he suffers from survivor's guilt due to his village getting destroyed, and that's one of the reasons he's so focused on helping others.

He doesn't like authority.

In general he’d hold some grudge against the adults around him for not stepping up like he did, in part because he can’t be a child anymore. The kids turn to him to be a leader or to comfort them, so he’s obsessed with keeping the image of being much older than them so they won’t consider he’s just as afraid as them.

If he ever met any of the adults in canon, he’d respect them. In his mind, they’re equal. But obviously in the mind of say Hakoda, Jet’s just a kid. Talented, but young. Jet would hate that, the pitying or disturbed looks he’d get if he’d mention how to kill soldiers when you’re outnumbered or any number of things he picked up from years of fighting.

Jet never gets into personal details of his own trauma. In most situations, he'll bring up others or vaguely include his. It doesn’t help the rage, but he doesn’t see anyone around him that he can lean on since he’s supposed to be their leader.

Loss of culture

The blocking of his trauma also had the negative effect of cutting himself off from his culture. He doesn’t remember much of his village and adopts anything useful from the kids around him. But his identity has become entirely on killing the FN and protecting kids. Anything beyond that, hobbies, reading, traditions, goals---he doesn’t bother with them.

Personally I think it opens up a lot of conversations between him and Katara and him and Aang. Katara clung to her dying culture and Jet discarded what remained of his.

He doesn’t see the point of following social standards. 

This would come from taking care of kids who come from different backgrounds and are each dealing with their traumas in different ways. Whether by rage, crying, or just lying around for hours. They’re living in a forest. Most of Jet’s rules would be for safety. I think Jet's very accepting to anyone, contrary to how most people view him.

So any trauma reactions that the kids would have, he’d learn them and not judge them for it. He never blames them for it. The bursts of anger, or eating habits, or violence. He doesn’t have words for most of it, but he understands it’s normal for what the kids have endured.

This would make him clash with the upper class though, since manners and social standards wouldn't make sense to him. And also all the other issues with the rich. 

He’s fun?

So, fun like that uncle or aunt who lets you stay up all night and eat anything you want. As in, no rules. If a kid wants to learn to use a weapon, he’ll help them. If they want to join the group for hunting, they can. He’s laidback that way.

But also he’ll have rules for kids to not go out by themselves at certain points in the day when it’s common for soldiers to pass through. Or if there’s been no sign of soldiers for days, then none of them are allowed to wander unless they’ve been trained to fight.

And everyone has to learn the whistles. And there’s a rotation of chores. And learning which plants are poisonous. And how to stay quiet. And what to do if they run into soldiers by themselves. And so on.

I don’t think he remembers to have fun. 

He has a lot of patience

I don’t know. It just always struck me that he didn’t care at all about any of Sokka’s comments in his episode. Even when Sokka stopped him from killing the old man, he brushed it off. I think being around kids helped with this. But basically, he’s usually the one to break up arguments.

Even if he has very strong opinions. Which he does. But only when it comes to the war. I think he’s very good at finding ways to work with people. And if someone disagrees with his methods, he’ll find ways to work around it. But falling to rage and arguing isn’t his go to method. He’s probably very difficult to aggravate.

I can definitely go on, but yeah. Ta da!

[watchinglikeafangirl]

The eclipse - an oppressive system and a homophobic society

Since everything happened at once in this eleventh episode and everything was resolved, I thought I would talk about the different motives the eclipse uses to criticize the Thai society and political system without ever doing so in a direct way. The choices they made to tell us there are problems, are very smart and it all starts off as something that's just part of the character's lives but slowly turns into something unacceptable and obviously not okay. Problems are uncovered, situations turn angsty, characters act out in very dangerous ways to keep things as they were or to change them. They are all victims of the system and society iself. These two are very linked, so it's hard to distinguish them but if you look closely this show actually uses two different motives to show both sides.

To actually get into the oppression and severe trauma, let's talk about the three couples first because they all represent the process of change but also trauma. They each are the past, the present and the future.

The three generations of protest

I know this isn't a proper term but I just didn't know what else to call it since this is just a very, very poor summary of each couple.

Chadok and Dika (the past) were a couple that was very defined by trauma. They dated in secret and were too afraid to let anyone know about it. I mean, Chadok even proposed and nobody knew. Once the principle found out, their little world crashed and they both didn't have the guts to stand their ground and gave in very quickly. Chadok tried but after being threatened, he backed down immediatly and the oppression won. It's when Dika broke and when Chadok couldn't help him because the system didn't leave any room for self-realization.

Kan and Thua (the future) are the exact opposite. Even though Kan still feared judgement, he asked Ayan about Thua pretty directly and was straight forward with his feelings once he knew. He confessed, he showed up to the protest, he is loud alongside Thua - in a way. They both are shown to live as an openly gay couple, open to start a conversation about it. What Thua did is still wrong but nevertheless we have to acknowledge these two are the definition of what it means to be comfortable with one's sexuality and embrace it. They show affection and they are what the protest needed in order to be effective and cause a change within society.

Akk and Ayan (the present) are somewhere between these two couples. They start out like Chadok and Dika, in silence, but once it's common knowledge, they kind of shift to Kan and Thua. They are in transition. They learned alongside the protest that they shouldn't hide, that it doesn't help. They kiss underwater but when they are finally out, they share affection publicly though they are not "overdoing" it. It's just not their thing to have people watching.

Homophobia to criticize the society

All main characters are queer characters. The "world remembers" group is founded by queer people and it's shown more than once how severely Thua is being bullied because he is queer. They all hear comment after comment about the way they behave or dress or just are.

Homophobia is coming from society. Society causes social trauma which can turn into generational trauma that is passed on to everyone following other queer people's footsteps. Expressing oneself is met with insults. Many people don't accept nor tolarate nor support it. It's a societal thing and we see Chadok, Dika, Kan and Akk just giving in and accepting the pain and turning quiet, telling themselves they can't act on their feelings because they will be heavily judged and labeled.

Since the eclipse doesn't just straight up criticize the Thai society as old-fashioned or as fanatic with old traditions, homophobia is used as a strong motive to just show us how severly queer people - and in general people who don't give in to traditions - are mistreated. It suffocates the main characters. We see Kan actively fighting and being bullied because of it. It caused trauma that hindered him from fully realizing his feelings and sexuality. The society recalls trauma for each and every open queer person because sticking to old rules is saver than actually acknowledging they all have been wrong since forever. Change is scary and people don't want to get out of their safe zone even if it means to sacrifice the mental health and lives of others.

The school as a criticizm of the system

As we all know and have seen, the school has many strict rules that are outdated and don't support the students' will of self-realization and personal growth. Every voice is silenced and their only "job" is to study and not have friends or opinions. There are no discussions about certain topics in subjects like philosphy or something. The students are supposed to represent a side of arguments the teachers and school board are satisfied with and are not allowed to develop their own ideas about certain questions. Since the teachers are too powerless on the schoolground and cannot watch the students all the time, the prefect club was established. Students are now raised on a throne of power to judge over other students and bascially push everyone to abide by the rules. That way, the prefects form an elite within the school and nobody else wants to socialize with them any longer. With creating a prefect club, students are being socially isolated from the rest and that's why Akk never really questioned what he was doing and what was going on. The only other people he talked to were prefects as well and they all "liked the rules" and thought in the same way.

The elite was isolated and Akk was part of it, so he didn't realize the rest of the students were suffering. It even led him to do highly morally questionable things he didn't even see as wrong or dangerous because all the other people around him were kinda fans of those actions.

The students stand for a society that is oppressed by a hirachy. The system created a hirachy, an elite, that is in itself stealing power. We don't know who the head of that hirachy is because it is not the principle. The oderliness is passed along and everybody is scared to act out, it leads to a toxic environment for everyone cause everyone is pressured. This is basically the definition of a dystopia. The elite vs the society, the prefects vs the students, but also the teachers vs the prefects. The elite has an even higher elite, the prefects are not a part of. There is a hirachy within the elite which makes the whole system so suffocating.

The main victims are still the students and the world remembers gang sees that and starts a protest. Every dystopia crashes because of a protest and here, the evil is the school uniform. A metaphor for the traditional rules, a metaphor for the ongoing oppression of the people's life choices. It's heavy criticizm of a polotical system that sabotages itself because even the elite suffers. It's not like "the Hunger Games" where they live carefree (I haven't watched it, so maybe I'm wrong). In the eclipse, everybody still worries, is still not able to live without worries because the exploitation is not directed at one group of people, it's the whole population the elite is a part of. Kinda sounds complicated but to frame it: it's the next level of a dystopian world where no elite exists even though they build one. And that's basically the problem because once Akk realized he suffers as much as others, he switched sides. The system sabotages itself by building half-structures that are only upheld by corruption and not backed-up by any higher force than money.

Conclusion

The protest could only turn out to be effective because the elite itself switched sides. Their lives sure weren't perfect nor carefree. Things stayed worrisome.

Akk acted in the sense of the teachers and school board. He was sent by the system to stand or fall and he didn't question his actions because nobody made him to. He thought it was right. Ayan calls it "brainwashed" and first I thought this term is too extreme but jn fact it's not because Akk doesn't question his morally and ethically questionable actions.

Same goes for Thua though he's not acting in the system's place but in the sense of the protest and society. The pressure was suffocating and seemingly never-ending, he felt the need to do something even though it meant going all extremes. He wasn't brainwashed but he was in the sense of society brave by sacrificing his own moral standards for a hopefully better ending. He fell victim to the pressure. He needed for it to end and the protestors always asked for actions that never came, so he fell victim to society in order to "save" it.

This show is just so interesting and after ep 11 i am mindblown

[ichigokeks]

"Thua really said "I respect your love!" and went on to disrespect the shit out of it."

As some Twitter users pointed out, Ayan hinted at some things about Thua to his mom when they were at the cafe at a time where Thua wasn't publicly out, especially to his parents. And you can see him panic briefly and brush it off/divert the subject. Especially when he was suffering inner turmoil in regards to his stepfather telling him to he more "manly". Obviously Ayan didn't know this, but still.

He may have indirectly/subconsciously learned that it's ok to out someone if it's for the "better good", as that was the example Ayan set for Thua.

It doesn't make it any better, of course, but remember that they're highschool students (17/18 yrs old) who typically don't think before they do shit and they're not the best at empathy.

It was, essentially, a tit-for-tat situation where I truly believe Thua wasn't doing it out of malice, but just that he may have learned- or interpreted (incorrectly)- that outing someone was fine if it's for a "good cause" or if you have "good intentions".

And I'm not defending Thua, but people shouldn't view the situation from their own adult, mature point of view and pass judgment from a mature perspective when the characters are not adult or mature. And this is not negating that what Thua did was shitty, but Ayan hinting/teasing at stuff to someone's parents wasn't good either... Ayan was doing it with good intentions, but so was Thua 😬

Hi, sorry for taking a bit longer to answer. It got busy and I wanted to answer properly. So this will be a long answer.

TLDR: I mostly agree with your points. Ayan crossed the line, too, yes. But it is in no way comparable to what Thua did. They are all flawed in a way but I think that's good. It makes them real and human. Still, we should discuss their flaws.

Full and detailed answer in the following. This is obviously my opinion and interpretation of things.

I don't want to come across as haughty or anything. I fully agree with you that one shouldn't forget that these characters are teenagers and are not mature yet, so they might do foolish things. But that doesn't mean that their actions cannot or shouldn't be judged. And at the end of the day, this is still fiction... Still, considering that the show is meant as social criticism and a paint a realistic picture of what it is like to be a queer person in Thailand, discussing the show and taking the plot serious, is very much justified.

Good intention often cause quite the harm, this goes for adults as well as for teenagers.

I rewatched the scene at the coffee shop just to be sure and Ayan doesn't hint at Thua being gay at all. He didn't out Thua nor did he say: Your son feels uncomfortable around his step-dad! And still I think Ayan crossed a line to meddle in Thua's family business. In that point, I agree with you. At least, Ayan knows this himself, he says it out loud and apologises for it.

However, I cannot quite see Thua's good intentions. He wanted everyone to stop lying? For what? He wanted the curse to stop? He continued it. His motivation is a mess.

I am a teacher so I work with teenagers and I see it up close how teenagers often do things without thinking it through. For many teenagers around that age things are mostly black and white/right or wrong and they often cannot see the consequences of their actions to a larger extent. This is a simple neurological and psychological fact about how the brain and thinking develops with age. It is entirely normal - as you also said. But especially because of that it is NECESSARY to teach and educate teenagers of where the line is and what consequences follow when they cross the line. And further, more often than not, certain actions or opinions are neither right or wrong. It is difficult to grasp that different opinions both have the right to co-exist and that some questions do not have a definite answer. There are many things that exist in a grey area.

Thua considered what Akk was doing as wrong and drew the conclusion that he should face punishment for that. Lying is wrong, covering up is wrong. A wrong must be put right, so he does that by exposing everything without considering that lying isn't always bad (it really isn't, if you are a Kant follower, we can only agree to disagree on that one). He doesn't consider WHY people acted the way they did. He doesn't consider that for a long time Akk did the curse because he believed he was doing the right thing as well!

He simply considers his definition and understanding of right and wrong as the correct one without having all the facts. This is immature and age-appropriate in a way. I can forgive that.

But outing Akk and Ayan was in no way necessary for Thua's goals. It was unnecessarily cruel and served no purpose at all. I do not get why Thua should have said that. That's why I was mad. A person who suffered under homophobic bullying exposed Akk and villainised him by adding that he was in a relationship with a guy.

Thua doesn't even consider anything he has done as crossing a line neither did he apologise. He is facing no consequences for his actions so far. We have seen Akk suffer TERRIBLY under what he has done. He feels the whole weight of the curse. Thua is completely fine after having outed his closest friends publically, exposed one of his friends who will most likely lose his scholarship because of it, which means effectively ruining his life. And he is fine? Don't get me wrong. Akk has to face consequences for what he has done. But the fact that he was pressured into it has to be considered...

The beauty of it all is that the characters in this series are flawed because they're human. They feel real this way. But all the more reason to address their flaws and discuss them.

[redphlox]

How Touya can be Saved

I’ve talked before about why I think Shouto will save Touya, and now I want to talk about how. No doubt saving the eldest Todoroki child will be a combined family effort, but I want to specifically talk about Shouto’s role in this because it will be the culmination of his character arc. I also want to tie in how Dabi can make himself seen and understood by crying tears of blood in front of his family. Finally receiving validation after desperately needing it his entire life will be the key to his salvation.

As of chapter 298, Shouto already empathizes with Touya; he feels Touya’s hate and even recognizes Dabi is the person Shouto himself was before the Sports Festival. Shouto is extending his empathy and understanding to his brother the same way he reacted to Iida during the Stain arc in chapter 53, “Todoroki to Iida.”

Having empathy for Dabi’s resentment is only the first step in reaching him, though. That shared rage doesn’t completely validate Dabi’s pain as an abuse victim, which is something Shouto has yet to recognize about himself. Shouto’s anger has always been about how Endeavor abused Rei to the point she had to be institutionalized and not how Endeavor isolated him, physically abused him, and robbed him of his childhood. Shouto probably hadn’t stopped to think about how the other Todorokis perceived their family situation because, like most families in this situation, no one talked about the abuse - Shouto even expresses surprise and agreement in 192 when Natsuo confronts Endeavor with the entire family’s pain. Shouto thinks back to the memory of wanting to play with his siblings and realizes that specific day didn't only stay with him but that his siblings remember it and were impacted by it, too.

Like Natsuo, Dabi knows the root cause of their family’s dysfunction was Endeavor, and while he had a problem with what he perceived as each individual member’s blindness to their abuse, he ultimately doesn’t blame the victims and instead assigns all the blame onto Endeavor. Even 10 years later, he still calls Rei ‘okaasan’, Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’, and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ because he still cares about them and recognizes all of them as victims of a corrupt hero who never set out to be a husband and a father and only used them.

However, Touya's own victimhood has never been validated - in 301 and 302, it was seen that he was the scapegoat for his family, and no matter how much he tried to earn back his father’s approval or call his father out on his unfair treatment, no one was ever on Touya’s side. His mother told him to look away from his father as an example instead of standing up to Endeavor for herself and her children, and Fuyumi and Natsuo were too young to understand and couldn't relate to what Touya went through as Endeavor's prized heir. Touya needs validation that he was abused and neglected. He always has. He still does.

The person in the perfect position to understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of Endeavor’s impossibly high standards, obsession with surpassing All Might, and quirk training is Shouto. But in order to fully empathize with Dabi and show his brother that he can relate, Shouto needs to acknowledge that he too was a victim. In 292, Dabi basically asks Shouto to validate the pain and suffering Dabi had just exposed in the battlefield, but his question still stands unanswered.

To reach Touya, Shouto also has to show Dabi what kind of person he is - as in, Shouto has to separate himself from Endeavor’s shadow and establish that he too has been holding Endeavor accountable for his actions. We as readers know that Shouto’s entire character arc has been about asking himself, “Who am I?” Often, children who grow up in abusive households struggle with their identity and Shouto is a perfect example of this. This is why he chose his hero name to be his name: Shouto. He’s learning who he is after years of trying so hard to not be his father and becoming exactly like him - cold, distant, tunnel visioned, hateful. It wasn't until he met Inasa that he realized this and wanted to right his wrongs.

Like Inasa, Dabi doesn’t know Shouto at all. Both Inasa and Dabi knew Endeavor and assumed Shouto would be just like him. Inasa had a valid reason to think this of Shouto of course, because Shouto was standoffish and dismissive during the UA entrance exams, but at the time of the provisional license exam Inasa hadn’t learned that Shouto had recognized this toxic side of himself and had begun working towards the kind of person he wants to be. Shouto had to show Inasa the real him, and in a similar way, he will have to prove this to Dabi. Dabi hasn’t seen Shouto struggle with his identity like we the readers have; Dabi only sees his usurper making headlines and willingly interning with Endeavor. He probably assumes Shouto is proudly training to carry their father’s legacy. Dabi isn’t privy to the nuanced relationship Shouto or their siblings have with their father. All Dabi knows is that Endeavor is seeing and paying attention to Shouto and Shouto seemingly submitting. Dabi has no idea THIS is how it really is:

Showing others who he is is a way for Shouto to process his own trauma and establish his identity. As the son of the #2 hero, Shouto has always had to prove himself to others - that he’s not his father. He’s even had to prove this to himself by accepting his fire side and making it his own in spite of his father repeatedly calling him a creation or a masterpiece. Not being like his father is such a defining trait for Shouto that he feels compelled to tell kindergarteners during the re-licensing exam his life story and his trauma. He literally bore his heart out to these kids because he knew he wouldn’t get through to them unless he was genuine. I think he’ll apply this concept to Touya, too.

The thing about Shouto is that, while he hasn’t reconciled with his own status as an abuse victim, he sees himself as a survivor. He sees himself as someone who managed through a difficult situation and wants to help others get through their struggles too. That's why getting through to these kids was so important to him, why he took it so seriously. These were problematic kids, and instead of calling them brats or trying to intimidate or manipulate them, he tries to get down to their level and relate. Notice he emphasizes how much he struggled in school at first, how his relationship with his father is strained - in his mind, it's something these kids may be able to relate to.

Shouto is someone who sets out to understand and make others feel seen and understood. It's what makes him kind. Shouto probably understands why his father abused the entire family - Endeavor's reasons don't excuse him or earn his children's forgiveness, but it's a reason that humanizes him to Shouto. He himself was a cold, bitter person who now believes people can change if given the right opportunity and self-awareness because this is a lesson he's learned from Midoriya and Inasa. This is also something Shouto can grant Touya: understanding, a listening ear, space to be wrong, and a chance to be seen.

Touya wanted and still craves to be seen, and he has to see in return. He has to realize Shouto isn't his father's puppet. He has to relate to Shouto much like Shouto is relating to him. Shouto will have to pull the same move he pulled on those kindergarteners and tell Dabi his struggles, and then show him he’s making his own path different from their father’s and that the family isn’t blindly following Endeavor anymore or letting him do what he wants. Natsuo has stood up to him, Rei has stood up to him, Fuyumi has admitted to herself she had been trying to play a happy family instead of fixing the internal mess - they as a family will have to show Dabi all of this, and he’ll have to wrap his head around it. He has to realize that his family is different from how they were 10 years ago. This is what I mean by allowing Touya space to be wrong - it’s okay for him to be wrong in assuming all these things about Shouto. Shouto won’t judge him for it.

I've talked before about how the narrative framing as of chapter 309 has set up that a person must express their feelings in a socially acceptable manner before they can be a candidate for saving, and that means crying. As soon as Midoriya saw a glimpse of little Tenko crying, he switched his mentality from "I'll never forgive you" to "I want to save that crying boy." When Toga ran away from Ochako crying, Ochako became concerned and curious. Following this pattern, it makes sense that Dabi also has to show his emotions, but it’s complicated because he can’t cry due to his burnt tear ducts. Every time we’ve seen him cry tears of blood, he’s been alone - he’ll have to cry in front of Shouto and the family for it to sink in that all of Dabi’s destruction and hate stems from deep-seated sorrow and feelings of abandonment. The family does not yet know how the fire that killed Touya started, and they have no idea that Touya’s emotions are linked to his fire and that he died because he was feeling overwhelmingly forsaken and sad. Once they find out, however, they’ll fully understand Touya (hopefully) and recognize they haven’t been understanding him at all. Saving Touya will be difficult because he has to be vulnerable and that's not something he's done as Dabi, but that's where the Todoroki family arc is headed: healing as a family.

As a side note: I’m not saying that the message the manga is giving is the correct one (how you express yourself shouldn’t be a determinant of the help you receive) but it’s what we have to work with. I also think saving Touya will be more complicated than this and will also involve Natsuo, but that’s a meta for another day! ;]

[dumist]

Heah, in the middle of 2022 I'm doing an skelesona... Why do I need a new victim for Self incert fic... Anyway, *Drop* THIS IS PRISMA!

Firstly: Yes she is inspired by Ink (Ink belong to Comyet)

And Background Facts (and a little bit of Lore):

- Prisma He is a dead creator (aka me) who had her soul taken out of the reincarnation cycle in an undue way, so her soul is fractured;

- It's an out!code with original type! (Not a sans/papyrus);

- There are two "canonical" clothing changes the first (blue shirt) is the outfit she was created with, based on Ink and classical! Sans, the second exchange was created by herself;

- little Lore: Fate do shit, they Ink (forced good of creation/destruction) commits suicide, Fate take a soul that is not yours and put in ink's old code in a lazily form, Destiny see this and get mad, Destiny and Fate take a DR, Prisma fall in other multiverse, Fate want her back, ( I'll write a fanfic of it);

- Prisma doesn't feel comfortable creating ectoparts, as it reminds her if her human body (which she didn't like at all) just creates her tongue to eat/make dunb faces; But out of curiosity, her Ecto is green with light shades of blue, it tastes like chocolate with mint;

- Her soul is a mess, like: "Fate literally just turned into a human soul (With traits of kindness, justice and patience) added the description: monster soul and left it at that" This mess cracked her permanent soul, and as a reflex her left orbit cracked;

- Her name is PrismA like Prism in Portuguese because is her (and mine) original tongue, but she answers for DuMist to;

- her magic is similar and different compared to Inks's magic, in a side, She can create anything non-living with her drawings, but don't need or control ink, Prisma's creations are based on design intent and quality of the drawing. Prism can create bones too, specifically: nornal bones, green (to Heal), orange and blue, cannot create gaster blasters;

- Her digital pen is a Broomie's re-code, They are called Cane, and have minimal consciousness, can respond to people by vibrating or changing their temperature, are loyal to Prism, and can change then size.

- Prisma's bag It works as an unlimited inventory, its only rule is that for an item to be placed there It must be passable through the zipper; (have so many creppy Stuff here);

- Prisma's Scarf is also the old Inks's Scarf re-code, It has many of Ink's personal notes and thoughts, and helped Primsa find out about her magic and situation, so Prisma is very attached to it;

- For personality: little TDA bean, she is easily distracted, and has a selective memory (remembers a lot of what she hears and faces, but is bad with dates and names) Is relatively pessimistic and goes into "cicles of catastrophe", But she covers it with joy and silly stories, she really likes to make others laugh, but she can't even tell a joke to save a life, so she ends up clinging to exaggerated lines and gestures. Despite not being shy or quiet, she is anti-social and likes to have her alone time.

- About se Undertale and AU's characters: She likes most of them as characters, being a big fangirl of sans and papyrus (she wants to put them in pots), but in practice is still learning that they are now real people, this can create some confusion. And about "Bad and good" sances, Prisma not judging anyone about they actions and past, caring much more how people treat her, Basically be nice to her and she'll be nice to you;

That's about it for now, feel free to ask her and sorry for any mistakes, my english isn't the best XD

[annabellenaughtyprincessrose]

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have  another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

[imagine-your-love-story]

For the anon who's a minor currently,,,,

I was in the same situation. A character I fell for way before I knew of self shipping when I was 15 - he was also merely 15.

And for me he didn't grow up. I lost touch with him time and time again, yet I'd sometimes go back to him out of the blue. Despite me hitting adulthood, he gave me the comfort I needed sometimes. My brain still feels and thinks the same as back then when I was 15. For me personally it's odd that people restrict F/O's based on age, because for us who started self ship when we were minors - our faves might not always grow up. And we still feel just as safe with them.

As long as you're not harming anyone and just have the sweet moments for yourself to cheer up, don't worry about this. You'll see whether you "grow out" or your F/O or not. And either way, it's no one's business to judge that without knowing the background.

This is a great response! Thank you so much for sharing!

Your comments bring up another thought that I'd like to point out (and wow I got long winded :P )

For some people, they have unresolved trauma of some kind, especially originating in childhood. This trauma can be anything - social rejection, emotional abuse, physical abuse, neglect, etc.

In order to cope with this trauma, you practice a process called "healing the inner child". Essentially, this is parenting yourself and giving yourself the support you sought in childhood but never received.

For some people, they might see themselves in these young characters. And it's really, REALLY important that you DON'T just cut them off when you are no longer a minor if you are not ready to let them go.

Why?

Because those young characters bring comfort and support to you. They make you feel seen and understood in a way that no one else offered to you, no matter how much you might have desperately needed it.

This kind of emotional and psychological support is absolutely 100000% crucial to feeling confident and strong and capable no matter what age you are.

Healing your inner child often encourages people to speak to themselves in a way that they should have received as a child. It's important to validate those feelings in order to make you feel more prepared and capable in adulthood.

For example, my mother was very critical when I was growing up. At a very young age, I was saddled with immense adult responsibility. My mother did not ever say, "I'm proud of you" for anything. Instead, she said things like, "Wow, you're really full of yourself when you accomplish something, aren't you?"

So as an adult, I have to learn how to re-parent myself. When I accomplish something, I tell myself, "I'm proud of you."

Recently, I bought a stuffed animal because I was always made to feel that they were childish and immature. I was taught a lot of shame as a child. So I have to re-learn my childhood and re-build it myself, doing traditionally childhood things in order to re-create the experience and unlearn that shame.

That's why I ALWAYS recommend people still maintain a connection with those underage characters because those characters represent comfort for you that you still need. Cutting them off can create anxiety and shame and those are negative feelings that can hurt you in the long run.

Fictional characters represent something that resonates with you. You feel safe with them. You feel understood with them. You feel a level of comfort with them that staves off stress. You feel loved and maybe even powerful.

Don't cut off something that makes you feel that way! Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you have to immediately throw out what brings you comfort and happiness when *some random person on the internet* insists "that's only for children! you're disgusting!"

(you're not disgusting)

Obviously, this has absolutely nothing with encouraging adult x minor ships. This is about validation, comfort, and empowering you to be kind to yourself and protect the things that make you feel safe and loved.

When you feel ready, you will know that you are no longer interested in any given character. But it has literally nothing to do with turning a certain age. Be gentle with yourself and release your f/os if/when you're ready and you alone will know when that is.

Yes, chances are, someone will shame you about this. I've received several messages over the last 24 hours, full of venom and vitriol, accusing me of being garbage for promoting adult x minor ships, which I'm clearly not doing.

You do not need to respond to or engage with people like this.

If someone is actually, genuinely concerned about your behavior, there is a way to bring it up in a respectful manner without blaming or making you feel like a bad person (you're not, you might need support, maybe, but that does not make you a bad person).

But anyone who flings accusations and shame and anger, those are emotions coming from a place that needs healing.

That is their problem to deal with. Not yours. You do not need to respond because it actually has nothing to do with you.

So please nurture your favorite character for as long as you want to! ♥ And if you ever feel confused, hurt, exhausted, angry, or just overall unsure of anything, please feel free to DM me and I would love to chat! ♥