#you deserve all the purple hearts in the universe

[sugurouge]

— half of my heart : gojo satorū x f!reader x getō suguru

contains! — mdni: smut, alternative universe with good boy geto, polyarmory, a smidge of somnophilia, brat taming @ gojo, gojo says cunny once (i firmly believe he would use that word without shame), spanking, pet names (sweetheart, princess, (pretty) baby, good girl, love), hair pulling @ gojo, tiny bit of spit — 2.3k words

summary: spend a lovely morning with satosugu after they return from a very tiring mission. they missed you terribly <3

a/n: yes, i'm biased, but i hope you will enjoy bratty gojo!

The safest place on earth is right here, nestled tightly in the embrace of the man of your dreams. You cuddle close to his warm torso, seeking comfort as you explore your dreamlands. Suguru feels your fingers tug at his hand, and a tired smile adorns his face at the soft hums you make, seemingly lost in pleasurable dreams. You nuzzle against his neck, your chest pressed against his side as gentle breaths fan over the expanse of his shoulder area. His eyes flutter closed again, and Suguru allows himself a few more moments of peace, savouring the stillness with you in his arms.

This wonderful tranquillity is interrupted all too soon by the ivory-haired man behind you, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as Satoru plants sloppy kisses along the back of your neck. To him, the time of the day doesn’t matter much when he has desires. Awake or not, he wants to feel more of you—no, all of you. Yet his greediness only makes you cuddle further into Geto, how annoying.

His hand slips beneath your shirt, rough fingertips grazing your stomach and sides before reaching your breasts, where Gojo teases your sensitive nipple, twisting and toying with it until you stir beneath him.

His mouth finds its way to your ear, and in a rare, sweet moment, he murmurs your most favourite set of words. “I love you. Missed you so, so much...” Yet, instead of leaning into Satoru’s affection, you press even closer to Suguru, who rewards you with soft kisses on your cheek and temple. Blue eyes meet dark purple ones over your shoulder once you sigh Suguru’s name in utter satisfaction.  “Love you too, Suguru.” 

The almost hurt expression on Gojo’s face makes Geto chuckle, he can clearly tell how much the mockery weighs on Satoru’s mind. Seems like you meed a reminder. His hand abandons your chest and trails along your body until he reaches the band of your panties. With much expertise does Gojo find his way between your thighs, to let his fingers tease your needy pussy. He nibbles on your earlobe, wetting your skin with his tongue as he pushes his fingers inside you. “'s not nice of you to just ignore me.” 

He can also be not nice. So instead of giving you a moment to fully realise what is happening, Satoru scissors his digits to make you finally react to him, to reward himself with those beautiful yet tired little moans falling past your pretty lips. Encouraged, Satoru continues, pumping his fingers in and out until you can't help but puls around his fingers, yet once more leaning into Geto to seek his lips. Suguru, happily obliges, swallowing the moan of his name as you grind against Satoru’s hand.

A sharp spank against your ass tears your attention away from the man you’re kissing. You meet Satoru’s slightly pissed off stare as he leans in, jealousy and dismay swirling in those beautiful pools of blue. “‘It’s Satoru~, not Suguru~,” he mocks your moans, his fingers possessively digging into your hip, thumb gently rubbing circles into your skin. “I deserve your moans and kisses right n—hmppf.”

Before you can react, you find yourself squished between their bodies as Suguru reaches out to cradle the back of Satoru’s head. Long fingers find a home in the messy bedhead to pull him close and have their lips clash. Watching the two of them kiss always flips your stomach upside down as you grow equally timid and turned on by their beauty.

Just like the needy thing you are for them, you reach out for Satoru, your fingers tracing every muscle of his chest and abdomen. Your eyes flicker between the two most handsome men you know, their kiss deep and slow. Satoru’s soft moan against Suguru’s lips makes them both grin, and you can’t help but want to spoil your needy boyfriend as well.

The feeling of Suguru’s and your lips on Satoru’s body sends shivers down his spine. His hips roll against your ass, pushing his growing erection right into the plush of your butt. He really needs to pull away before he gets too desperate this early on. 

Wide blue eyes stare into Geto’s dark ones before they both turn their attention to you. Satoru plants a kiss on your forehead, the teasing remark of, “Finally paying attention to me, princess,” only a petty murmur before his lips find yours. Gojo entangles you in a deep kiss and you part your lips almost immediately, like you’re hungry  to taste him—to taste Suguru on his tongue—as your tongues intertwine.

Your fingers have long since found their way into his hair, brushing through his slightly tangled locks until you grasp the back of his neck, holding him as close as possible. Long and lithe fingers run along your hip and another hand—rougher and more demanding— swiftly pulls off your slick-coated panties. Satoru spreads your thighs as Suguru’s fingers tease your clenching entrance, to allow himself easy access.

“Suguru..” you mewl. To which Gojo only kisses you again, not allowing you any room to catch air or praise Geto. Suguru’s fingertips trace circles on your clit, yet as soon as you seem to get slightly adjusted to his pattern he changes it up. Drawing infinite loops or delivering soft spanks until your hips jerk in response. His palm cups your pussy gently, and his sultry voice murmurs sweet praises for you. “Being such a good girl for us,” to cloud your senses. 

Satoru grins proudly once he pulls back, shamelessly watching Suguru’s middle and ring fingers pump into you. The squelching sound of your wetness coating Geto’s fingers makes Satoru’s mouth water—God, how badly he wants to eat you out.

“Always so needy to have Suguru’s fingers stuffed inside your cute cunny, isn’t that right, pretty baby?” Satoru teases as he leans in, faking a kiss before briefly brushing his lips against yours. “Always greedy to be the centre of attention.”

Satoru misses how his words make your quiet partner roll his eyes. And Suguru steals a choked moan from Satoru as soon as his slick-coated fingers wrap around his erection, stroking Satoru’s cock and smearing his pre-cum and your arousal along his shaft. “Always so needy to have Suguru’s fingers wrapped around your cock,” Geto shoots back as he looks deeply into Satoru’s eyes, his lips never failing to comfort you as he leaves soft kisses on your temple and hairline.

You giggle upon their teasing while your hands return to roam over Satoru’s abs, your nails dig into his skin as your fingers rake over his flexed muscles. His moans are always so beautiful, but especially so when he moans Suguru’s name right next to your ear. 

“God, I need to fuck you so desperately, sweetheart,” Satoru groans as his hips jerk forward and the tip of his cock teases your clit. The brief feeling of your slicked walls brings him close to begging for Geto to guide him inside you. Satoru’s hand fists the pillow you're resting on, panting and grinning in defeat as his head falls against your chest. “Suguru, please, I just wanna make her feel good. Look at her, fuck, our princess makes a mess of our sheets. Don’t wanna waste a drop of it.”

But Suguru only scoffs at the selfless proclamations. Cue his grip tightening around Satoru’s cock to drag his fist up to the tip with each move. “You’re even more desperate if you beg me to stop, Satoru.” 

Your pussy clenches around nothing, utterly turned on by the control Suturu holds over Satoru. Your hand digs into Geto’s thigh, and you turn your head to look at him, puppy eyes begging for permission.

“Shit, I am. I am, Suguru. I missed her pretty pussy so much while we were gone, please.” 

Oh, to see Geto’s grin is what Christmas felt like when you were a child—the dimples on his cheeks and the glimmer of joy in his eyes, softening his dominant aura just a little. “So needy,” he murmurs, yet still releases Gojo.

Instead, he tilts your chin up to get a taste of you for himself. Suguru’s kisses are slow and passionate. They leave your head spinning and your heart racing while his thumb gently brushes over your cheek. 

That is, until you feel Satoru’s cock rub along your folds and spread your arousal along with his pre-cum. He stimulates your clit while he hisses over the awfully delicious feeling before finally pushing the tip inside your tight walls. He enters you gradually, relishing the feeling of your cunt accommodating his girth before giving one determined thrust to connect your hips with his. “God, yes, thank you,” Satoru murmurs.

His hand rubs your side and pulls your shirt up to reveal your pretty tits. He loves to see them bounce with every deep thrust of his. Gentle traces over your neck and cheek spoil your skin, his fingertips feel the vibrations of your moans as the are being knocked out of your lungs. You have to break away from Suguru—who did such a great job of swallowing your moans.

Satoru allows his hips to smack against yours the moment he feels you relax around him, relishing the sound of your pussy squelching around and sucking him in. “Good fucking girl,” he mumbles. “Taking such good care of me, hmm?”

As if on cue, you feel Suguru’s arm snake beneath your back, adjusting your position so you rest against his chest. His free hand returns to playing with your clit, pinching the sensitive nub and teasing your pulsing lips with his nails. “Let me look after you as well,” Suguru murmurs, and Satoru curses as you tighten around his cock.

But he can’t stop now, too desperate to give you time to calm down. He needs you to cream around his cock, wants to make a complete mess of you in the early morning hours, then return to sleep with you in his arms.

His fingers dig into the back of your thighs, to push them up against your sides, effectively spreading you further for his dick to deeply penetrate you. His hips smack against yours with every drag of his inside you, moans of yours and his mix when your lips meet. 

Sometimes you hate how well they can work together. Especially when they manage to make you cum in what seems like seconds. The pretty red tip of Gojo’s cock hits your spongy spot with expertise while Geto’s fingers play with your clit just the way you like it. 

“S-stop, please, don’t want to cum already, Satoru, S-Suguru!” you complain, your lower lip trembling as you try to fight off the overwhelming pleasure threatening to crash over you.

“Nuh-uh,” Satoru pants. His thrusts slow but become harder, jolting your body against Suguru with each deep stroke. “I’m going to make you cum again and again, baby.”

“We,” Suguru butts in and leaves a punishing spank to your pussy as if you were the one who forgot about him. 

You whine over the pleasurable pain, legs twitching against Satoru’s hips as they attempt to close and hide your sensitive sex. 

“Now cum for us, love, cream all over Satoru’s pretty cock. I know you want to,” Suguru whispers the words into your ear. Your head lolls back against his shoulder, your mouth falling slack as moans pour from your lips and your hips rock against Satoru’s. The blissful feeling of weightlessness, the tingling coursing through your body, and your pussy making a mess around Satoru’s cock is pure heaven.

Satoru accepts defeat the moment you cum. God, two weeks without you really put a quick end to his performance, he must shamefully admit. How you tighten around his cock is simply too fucking satisfying to not pump you full with his load. He chuckles softly, shaking his head before a deep moan rumbles in his chest, forcefully smacking his hips against yours while seeking Suguru’s lips once more—Satoru always needs to kiss one of you whenever he cums.

The kiss is nothing but sloppy, saliva dribbles down Satoru’s chin as he shallowly thrusts inside you.The tiny moans and murmurs of his name coming from you are nothing but praise to him. “Your pussy’s too good, sweetie,” Satoru breathes. “How am I supposed to not pump you full of my cum when you hold on to me like that?” his body goes limp on top of yours, successfully caging you between the two men. 

“I’m sorry, Satoru,” you whisper and actually sound guilty. Suguru can’t help but laug upon your words while he plays with ivory hair. “Don’t apologise, you know he talks big but can’t keep up.”

“Suguru!” you and Satoru say simultaneously, to which Geto only groans in reply as his head falls back against the pillow. Not ready to tackle you both at once one more time. 

“For your information, I fuck her just right. Correct, baby?” Satoru peeks up at you, his soft eyes telling the tale of just how much he needs your praise. 

Your whisper of “You’re perfect,” as you gently cradle his cheek brings his signature grin to Gojo’s lips, and he returns to resting his head on your chest as his eyes fall shut. 

Yet the comfortable silence gets interrupted by the man behind you. “So… when is it my turn?” Suguru quietly asks. To which you clench around Satoru’s softening cock and the latter chokes on his breath, causing your cute giggle to fill the space. . 

“Ah-, always so impatient, Suguru,” Gojo murmurs, yet hisses as soon as Geto tugs on his roots in return, the promising warning of “Don’t make me shut you up,” too delicious for Gojo to not lick his lips.

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[evilminji]

You know... >.>

My Dad always used to tell me, if I get a Genuine Genie(tm)? Get a lawyer first. Before I make my Wishes(tm), so they can help me word them correctly.

Obviously, a human lawyer would not be foolproof... BUT! What about a Ghost Lawyer?

Like? Obviously Desiree would be PISSED. How DARE you twist HER wish twisting! Her THING is "what you believe is your heart's desire always comes at a terrible cost" which is what she DIED to learn.

So obviously she would NEVER, willingly, bend her Obsession for ANYONE. And you'd have to make a DAMN good case to that Lawyer for why he ISNT breaking the law by helping you. Probably some "you can: save the life of an unconscious person against their will/shove an unobservant person OFF the train tracks, even if they get hurt, to save their life" clause.

Like? Using a ghosts Obsession against them? Bad. Illegal.

Using it against their will, to save OTHER ghosts, who are in immediate danger? Not illegal, but they will be PISSED. Still not great though, you will want to apologize and fast.

So like??? Reality Bending Power. Patrick Star Method of "what if we MOVED the city... somewhere else?" Considered at 1am. Team of Ghost Laywers, acquired.

Amity and all Limnals are REMOVED from the DP-verse.

Wish worded juuuuust so. Any ghost that forms there? Yoink! Instantly removed to the Zone. Natural Portals? Cut off. Let the whole Reality fade out at an accelerated rate, as no NEW energy is fed into the system. Entropy will do, what entropy does. Exactly as they wished it.

They hated Death so much, they speed up the heat death of their ENTIRE universe by Eons. Congratulations, you guys "Won". Enjoy the wildly more fragile flora, fauna, and general ecosystems. Now that none of you have that ambient Ectoplasm strengthening your bodies. Yeah, the things you used to shrug off? Those are gonna maim or kill you now.

Doesn't MATTER if you "learn your lesson" though! Cause this is WAY past that point! This is "cutting off the tumor before it kills us" territory, and buddy? Amity ISNT the tumor. Go forth a grow, just like you wanted.

They won't be here to fix your messes anymore.

Because Danny got himself a dictionary thick "I Wish..." contract. Which was worded, as it needs to be, in one loooooooong run on sentence. Shouted "I Wish what's written on THIS, as it is currently, and without any form of editing or negotiation!" As fast as he could. Yote the document in Desiree's direction. And Flew like an INCANDESCENTLY pissed off Genie was trying to set his everything of fire.

Which she was.

Thankfully, Paulina came in clutch with her History of all things Jewelry, world fashions, and Make-Up knowledge. That, coupled with the Power Of Rich Friends(tm)? (Sam. Her mother was THRILLED to take her Jewelry and clothing shopping for something other then blacks and dark purple. They went on a jet setting whurl-wind tour. Sam actually kinda liked a some of what she found.)

They have Apology Bribes.

They shamelessly HIDE behind the mountain of Apology Bribes, while they explain themselves. Is Desiree HAPPY? No. But those bracelets are magnificent and she DOES deserve nice things. Those silks will really bring out her eyes. And she... DOES... admit...

Maybe...

That things are not... SAFE. Any longer. Danny TRIES. Everyone else can see it. And he's made incredible strides! Even convinced his lunatic parents. Though they're still not quite POPULAR. (WAY too pushy and invasive with their questions, for most people.) But the fanatics in white?

They nearly killed Box Lunch. If her father hadn't BEEN there...

And the poor man will have that scar on his back for the rest of his afterlife. Desiree can see why Danny is pushing. Does she LIKE it? No. But...

She supposes she will content herself with the suffering of the Fanatics in White and all who support them. THEIR wishes, twisted. Their ugly heart's desires.

Fine.

"SO YOU WISH IT. SO IT SHALL BE!"

And? The ghost town of what WOULD of one day grown into Amity, had the witch's there not been found by those they had fled from, which sits in long rotted ruins, amongst the trees in nowhere Illinois? Poof! Two "Towns" are switched.

The roads out of town coming to a clean line stop, meeting not even goat paths. Just trees. Old growth.

But it's not ALL of Town, is it? Faces missing. New, confused, faces from every corner of the map, taking their place. No Limnal left behind. No supporter of the GIWs genocide, brought along. Family's kept together where they could be. But by the few, scared and upset, green flashing eyes of children in the crowd?

It seemed for some, it was easier to fear and hate, then love their children.

Already they were being gathered up by school teachers and PTA parents. As everyone tried to figure out what had happened. Concerned, quite muttering a dull roar as everyone tries to coordinate.

Red Huntress joins Danny and Dani in the Sky. She doesn't get a word in. Wanted to know what the HELL was going on. She was with her dad in Chicago! Dani was in Taiwan! Literally! As in, sitting in a SUBWAY station one second, the next? Outside!

But they don't get to demand those answers. Because there is a sonic boom on the horizon. And then? Floating... weird... not ghosts?

Uuuuuuhhhh?

Hi?

That much blue... sure is a Statement. Like the cape and... bloooomers? Shorts. Bikini bottoms? It.. it's a Cool Look, dude! No, really. They are being VERY supportive here! If YOU like it? That's the only thing that matters!

Red Huntress smacks the Danny/i's Repeated upside their heads and demans to know what the Not-Ghosts are doing in their airspace.

Oh YEAH. Good point! What she said! And can it WAIT? They're kinda going through A Thing right now...

Kon? Wants it on record he loves these guys. They're hilarious. The LOOK on Clark's FACE?? He wishes he could frame it. Preserve it for future generations. Thing is? There was NOT a town here a second ago.

Well, bout 30 minutes or so, but you get the idea. One moment? Tree noises. Bam! Thousands of people! Obviously the checked it out. Only to be met with two... three maybe? Heros who have NO IDEA who they are.

Clear Reality warping shenanigans. Might be time travel or multiverse. Question is... are they STAYING? And if SO? What now...

@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter

[dionysianivy]

February Magic Correspondences

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁

February is a month of love, abundance and purification. As winter gradually gives way to the first hints of spring, it's the perfect moment to cleanse the past and open the heart to new possibilities. This month is deeply connected to Februus, the Roman god of purification, who help us to release what no longer serves us. His influence encourages rituals and practices that help clear away negativity and create space for fresh intentions. This month brings an energetic focus on passion, fertility, and harmony. It’s a time to honor the primal forces of love and joy, whether in romantic relationships or in the bonds we share with ourselves and others. February also honors Juno Februa, goddess of love and sacred unions, and Faunus, god of fertility and nature. In this month of both purification and passion, it’s an ideal time to work with love spells, self-care rituals, and practices that help purify your mind and spirit.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁

Celebrations:

Imbolc / Candlemas (February 1-2)

Lupercalia (February 13-15)

Parentalia (February 13-21)

Juno Februa (February 14)

Valisblot (February 14)

Valentine's Day (February 14)

Planets:

Venus, Moon, Mars

Flowers:

Snowdrops, Crocus, Violet, Carnation, Primrose

Herbs/Plants:

Rosemary, Myrrh, Nutmeg, Pine, Sage, Hyssop

Tarot Cards:

The Lovers, Two of Cups, Four of Wands

Fruits:

Banana, Grapefruit, Kiwi, Pomegranate, Strawberry, Blood Orange, Blackberry

Vegetables:

Cabbage, Leeks, Carrots, Potato, Cauliflower

Deities:

Februus, Faunus, Juno, Venus, Cupid, Pan, Aphrodite, Ares, Eros, Dionysus, Persephone, Brigid, Áine, Yue Lao, Lada, Bastet, Oshun, Sjöfn, Aradia

Colors:

Purple, Pink, White, Blue, Yellow, Silver

Runes:

Wunjo, Gebo, Ehwaz

Crystals:

Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Ruby, Garnet, Moonstone, Aquamarine, Pink Agate

Animals:

Otter, Sheep, Dove, Lamb, Wolf, Dog, Deer, Goat

Trees:

Rowan, Cedar, Myrtle, Laurel

Symbols:

Hearts, The Phallus, Brigid’s Cross, Snowdrops, Candles

Magical Powers:

Love, Fertility, Purification, Sex Magick, Healing, Abundance, Faerie Magick

ACTIVITIES TO DO

💌 Celebrate the season’s festivities.

💌 Clean your garden.

💌 Cleanse your home .

💌 Do love or fertility spells.

💌 Practice self-love and kindness to yourself.

💌 Work with deities connected to this month.

💌 Enjoy dairy products like milk or cheese.

💌 Light candles around your home.

💌 Connect with the fire element.

💌 Read about faerie folk.

💌 Connect with deities associated with love.

💌 Meditate in nature and leave seeds for birds.

💌 Cook and share meals with loved ones.

💌 Show love to your body.

💌 Donate to Animal shelters.

💌 Try new recipes with blackberries.

💌 Write gratitude letters to the Universe or your deities.

💌 Buy yourself something special, you deserve it♡

💌 Eat comforting foods like chocolate or pancakes (make a wish when flipping pancakes!).

💌 Try new ways of divination.

💌 Do kitchen magick and cook recipes with intentions.

💌 This month is all about purification so get rid of all toxic people that hurt you.

💌 Pick snowdrops, dry them, and use them for future spells.

💌 Read about Godess Brigid.

💌 Take care of you both mentally and physically.

💌 Start a journal.

💌 Wear rose quartz and pink agate in your pockets to attract positive love and harmony.

💌 Donate things you don’t need anymore.

[earthtooz]

x : AUGUST 12TH :*+ﾟ

in which: reo sees his birthday marked down on your calender, and it fills him with the courage to win you back. or, he's hiding from the paparazzi... in your apartment, for whatever reason.

warnings: 2k wc, gn!reader, exes to lovers but they're very much in love, they kiss (eww), minor angst and minor embarrassment for reader but it's very cute, very much fluff and happy endings, professional soccer player reo, characters aged to be around 21+

a/n: I LOVE REO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!

August 12th used to be one of the most important dates on your calender. Now it is one that brings forth bittersweet thoughts and memories whenever you think too hard on it, reminiscing a love that you had to let go long ago, despite how badly you wanted to keep him.

Mikage Reo’s name used to be stamped loud and proud beneath the date, with a heart that you hastily scribbled on due to the awkward angle of the page. His name is still on there, just without the heart, and merely in capitalised letters of your handwriting. 

You don’t know why you need to record it down because you remember it regardless, the set of numbers etched in the crevices of your mind. In fact, when August first hit and you were planning the month ahead, the act of recording down Reo’s birthday was a second-hand instinct, and when you did so without realising, a little pool of embarrassment and hurt developed in your chest. You didn’t even have the guts to cross it out either, despite it being almost seven months since you split.

Not a day has passed without you thinking about him, clearly.

But it was nothing to be embarrassed about because no one will ever think too much about it, especially not Reo, because he has no reason to ever step foot in your apartment ever again. If he ever saw it, you might just wither away.

So why on earth was he here now, sitting on one of your kitchen stools? The one that he used to always sit on when he came to see you when you were still dating with the reasoning that it ‘gave him a better view of you whilst you were scurrying around’.

Now you are ever aware of his gaze on you, entranced whilst fixing him a mere glass of water. 

Sliding it over to him on the marble countertop, he takes it with a grateful smile. “Thank you for allowing me to hide here, and I'm sorry about bringing you into all of this.”

“No problem, you got lucky that i have nothing better to do today,” you sigh, trying to tune out the clamours of the paparazzi that were residing outside of your apartment complex. Wandering over to the balcony window, you see that the swarm hasn’t decreased from when you last checked. 

Your poor, clueless neighbours. None of them deserved to be dragged into this. You wonder when it can all settle down.

“Reo?” You murmur. He glances over at you immediately, attentive purple eyes bright and wide in their curiosity. “Why did you come here out of all places?”

“You’re…” he falters. “You’re the first person I thought of, and I just so happened to be nearby.”

“Nearby? There’s nothing to do around my neighbourhood. What could you possibly have to do here?”

He looks away, shamefully staring down at his glass of water. “Errands. Stuff.” 

“Okay,” you trail off, not wanting to prod further. “So how are you thinking of getting out of this situation?”

“Does your apartment have another way out?”

“Unfortunately not.”

“Well unless you want me to jump from your window, then my only way out is to wait,” he says with a shrug and you pinch the bridge of your nose. The clamours of the crowd below can be heard even on your second-level home, and no matter how badly you wanted to return to your work, a certain ex of yours is only another reason for your headache. 

Since the breakup, you never thought Reo would ever be here again, however, fate seems to have pulled peculiar strings to bring him back to you- on his birthday too.

You won’t admit that this all feels a little set up. Perhaps it was the universe mocking you for not being able to stop loving him, despite it being you who forcibly let him go so he could fulfil his soccer ambitions in England.

The last time you saw him, he was crying at your doorstep, reluctant to go and to let you go. It is a sight that will always haunt you, especially when you then shut the door in his face and ultimately, ending your relationship.

Would you let him go again if you had the chance? No. Reo won’t ever know that, though.

You doubt he wants you back.

“Maybe you needed a better disguise if you wanted to escape the paparazzi,” you mutter.

Reo fiddles with his sunglasses. “Don’t scorn a man who just wanted to go out. I can’t even do anything normally nowadays anymore, not even in Japan.”

“Well, yeah, you’re kind of a big shot, Mr-Signed-With-Manshine-City,” you huff. "It's like high school and your fangirls all over again."

“You remember my team?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It's all anyone talks about, especially after the World Cup.” 

“And you listened?” 

“Of course I did,” you confess, no louder than a whisper. “I’m happy for you, Reo. You're really amazing.”

Something about your sentimental statement makes the purple-haired frown, looking away as an obligatory ‘thank you’ slips from his lips.

There’s a quip resting on the tip of your tongue about it being his birthday, but it slides back down your throat with the ease of paper, cutting you in the process. 

“Can I request something from you?” You question.

“Anything," the athlete looks over at you with hopeful eyes.

“Since you’re using my house to hide in, can I have your Netflix password so we can watch a movie or something?” You murmur, “something’s telling me that you’ll be here for a while.”

He laughs, bright and exuberant and boyish that it makes your yearning expand tenfold. “Sure, as long as I get to pick what we watch.”

Your heartstrings soften a little, “fine. I have popcorn somewhere so let me get that out.”

It only takes one movie for the clamour outside to disappear. You’re sure that your neighbours called the police at some point too given then flash of red and blue that illuminated onto your walls, but there was little conflict, and eventually, the quiet returned. You should be grateful for it, really, because your headache can calm and you can get back to doing your work, but it also means that this is the end of yours and Reo's paths. He’ll leave your apartment, and then Japan, and then your life will return to the seven month-long limbo that it was without him, with possibly no due date this time.

He stays around until the end of the movie, however, and when it’s over, he stands with a huff, hands on his knees to help push him up. If you weren't too focused on your dread, you'd have noticed the subtle reluctance clinging to him.

“I ‘ought to be going now, I’ve been in your hair long enough,” sighs the soccer player. “Thank you for allowing me over.”

“It wasn’t a problem,” you mutter. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“Likewise. you lo-” Reo’s eyes widen before he shuts his mouth, visibly shaking the sentence away as you’re filled with an invasive sense of curiosity. You want to pry his words out of his mouth, but you don’t think that’s appropriate for your current relationship. “I’ll see you sometime.” 

“Yeah. I’ll be here.”

He nods. During the time of your conversation, the two of you had made it to your kitchen and to your horror, Reo stops right before your calender. He glances at it and has to do a double-take, making sure that his eyes hadn’t failed him.

How will you recover from this one?

Reo turns to you, eyes and smile soft and so so warm. “You still have my birthday marked down.”

“Oh. You’re right!” You laugh awkwardly. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you. I’m honoured you remember.”

“Oh my goodness, please shut up,” you hide your face with one hand and Reo laughs harder.

“Do you remember how old I’m turning as well?”

“We’re the same age! Of course I'd remember-”

“-do you have a present for me? You know I love presents.”

“Go buy your own damn presents, you multimillionaire.”

He laughs harder and you almost want to chase him out of your house. “But I like it when they’re from other people!” 

“I don’t have a gift for you, Reo, now can you please shut up?”

“If you don’t have a present then can I ask you for one thing?”

“What is it?”

“A date. Tomorrow, at your favourite place downtown.”

The light, cheery environment dims and you find your breath getting lodged in your throat. “Reo�� I- we, we shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” He asks, “do you still love me?”

“I have your stupid birthday on my calender and no one else’s, not even mine, so yes I do still love you.” 

He grabs your hands and you feel weak in the knees, clasping onto the warmth you had grown so familiar with. “Then another chance, please, that’s all I ask for.” 

“I let you go for your sake, you shouldn’t have someone like me dragging you back whilst you’re in England. Didn't you see how successful you were without me?” You mutter, thinking back to the night that you let him go, recalling all the pain you felt. 

And how you might relive it again tonight.

“Dragging me back?” he parrots, voice slightly strained. “I thought about you the entire time I was abroad, every training session, every time I scored a goal, I thought about doing it all for you. It might have hurt me to not have you there with me, but it killed me to know that I didn’t have you at all.” 

Reo rests his forehead against yours and you close your eyes, basking in the intimacy that you never thought you could ever experience again with him. “And it killed me even more to know that you wouldn’t be waiting there for me when I came home. You know who was there instead? Stupid Zantetsu, and a few high school friends, but not you.”

“I love Zantetsu though, we get coffee together all the time,” you comment quietly. “He told me that he was going to pick you up.”

“And I can’t believe you didn’t even think of going with him.”

“Exes don’t go to the airport to pick each other up.”

“So be my lover again,” pleads Reo. “Be mine again, be here for me every time I return to Japan.”

“Is it what you want?"

“A thousand times yes.”

You sigh through your nose, memorising the feeling of his forehead against yours one last time before parting from him. “Then pick me up tomorrow, at half past six, and we can go downtown.” 

His smile could rival that of a thousand suns, and just seeing it is enough to cure your heart.

“Okay,” he nods, a dreamy sort of look settling in the purple hues of Reo’s gaze. “Okay! I'll be here, without paparazzi this time, and no one will disrupt our date, I'll make sure of it.”

“One more thing before you leave. Stay here!” You command before scurrying through your house and into the study to retrieve a pen. Uncapping it, you then scribble a little heart on the calender, right next to Mikage Reo’s name.

You don’t miss the look of pure elation on his face.

“Call me. My number hasn’t changed.”

“Okay, I will, I will. Watch out for it.”

“Then I look forward to it.”

“Now I really don’t want to leave,” he whines, gently pressing you against the wall with his hands holding onto your shoulders. “It wouldn’t be gentlemanly of me to ask to stay the night, would it?”

“No, but, I think we’re beyond your awkward gentleman-liness.”

“Then, I have permission to do this, right?”

He presses his mouth to yours, hot and needy, you wonder if he’s trying to swallow you whole so you really can’t ever leave again. 

“Happy Birthday, Reo,” you murmur against him.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[halfmoth-halfman]

Cafuné

Pairing: Choso Kamo x GN!Reader Word Count: 1.3k Warnings: fluff, implied smut, some talk about veins A/N: ngl the theme for this was supposed to be flower crowns but i got carried away so enjoy the intimate fluff and just like pretend choso has a flower crown on or st 💜

cafuné {n} - the gesture of tenderly caressing somebody else's hair.

Of all the things Choso enjoys in the world, there are few he truly loves.

He can count them all on one hand — three fingers if he really thinks about it.

His brothers come first, counted on his index finger. His blood. His family. His number one priority.

Then there’s you, technically family, but deserving of a space made specially for you. He counts you on his ring finger, symbolized by the thin, black line tattooed around it.

Yuji catches him staring at it often, teasing Choso about how lovesick he is when you’re not near. Choso doesn’t care; he knows he’s incomplete without you. How can he not be without half of his soul?

Third, and finally, your hands.

It started the first time you patched him up. Your hands were gentle on his skin, trying not to aggravate his wounds. The heat from your palms sunk deep into his veins, warming him all the way to his heart. You looked so beautiful concentrating on him, and Choso felt the selfish hope that you’d only help him this way. You finished too quickly for his taste, leaving him with a kind smile. The warmth vanished with you, leaving him cold and craving.

He thinks about that moment often, even now when there’s rarely a time your hands aren’t on him.

He's grown greedy for your touch, spoiled by how much you indulge him. Truthfully, you could never deny him, fueled by your own secret, selfish desire to make up for his more than a century without human contact.

Most times you keep a hand pressed to his arm, a gentle reminder that you're there. It's calming. Grounding. The sun at the center of his universe, without which he may drift away into an endless space.

When you have those rare moments to yourselves unburdened by the constant thought of curses, you slide your palm into his and weave your fingers together. You pull him along, leading him to all of your favorite places.

If your schedules conflict, and he returns home late into the night, he finds you curled up on the sofa under your favorite blanket — a large, overly fluffy thing that matches the dark purple of his eyes. Not awake but not yet asleep, you blink up at him with a slightly delirious smile and throw the blanket open.

He joins you on the couch, smiling when your hands slither under his shirt and your body curls around his. He falls asleep to your hands softly stroking down his back, easing away all of his tension and worry.

Sometimes Choso sleeps wrong, wandering into the kitchen as he grimaces through a yawn that strains his neck. Attentive to him, as you always are, you notice immediately and sit him down. He's always ready to argue, protests dying on his tongue the second your fingers graze his neck. Hands kneading down his neck to his shoulders, he melts into your touch.

When you pause to ask if it still hurts, he lies. You coo and kiss his cheek, hands returning to steadily press the muscle in his neck, content to never tell him you know he's lying.

There are other times, too. Times he can only think about when he's alone. When your touch wanders, scorching silk as you map out every inch of his body. When your nails dig into his hips until you almost break skin. When you caress his cheek so softly, so lovingly as you whine and beg and plead.

His favorite, though, only comes on nights when nightmares and insomnia crawl into your bed. You've both given up on trying to go back to sleep, cuddled against each other in the quiet night. Every so often you’ll shift and adjust, finding new ways to lay without letting go of one another.

No matter how many times it happens, it always ends the same. Choso's arms wrap tight around your waist, his grip almost bruising with his face buried in your chest while you throw a leg over his hip and gently scratch at the base of his skull. Your hands slowly work their way up tracing nonsensical shapes in his scalp. Eventually, you thread your fingers and glide them through his hair, lightly pulling once you reach the ends.

His hair is like satin on your fingers despite the few tangles you gently work through. You do this again and again until you've almost soothed yourself back to sleep. Even teetering on the edge of sleep, you keep going, not ready to give up the feel of him.

Choso thinks this must be what heaven is like.

You pull at the ends of his hair, and Choso groans, bringing you as close to his body as he can get you. He feels the laughter in your chest, one hand leaving his hair to pet his head.

He catches your hand, bringing it down to his lips in one swift motion. He kisses each fingertip, then each knuckle, then your palm before his mouth travels back up to your ring finger. He gazes at the black line wrapped around your finger, unable to help himself when he places a kiss over it.

"Supposedly," you whisper, his touch sending a warm shiver across your body, "there's a vein that travels from your ring finger all the way to your heart."

"That so?" Choso hums, with another tender kiss to your tattoo. He feels the shiver in your body, smirking when your leg rises just a a bit higher on his hip.

Your hand tugs at his hair again, more purposeful this time, guiding him to tilt his back until you can see his face. He has no time to admire the way you glow under the moonlight as you lean in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

He chases your lips as soon as you pull away, refusing to part from you until he's had his fill. He pulls away, both of you gasping through your laughter. It's not enough for him — he can never have enough of you — and he gives you a few seconds to catch your breath before he kisses you again.

Your hands thread into his hair, pulling at the roots until he groans and sinks his teeth into your lip. One of his hands travels to your thigh, gripping at your flesh as he rolls onto his back, keeping you balanced atop him.

A vein that travels from your ring finger all the way to your heart.

Choso knows it's a myth, already intimately familiar with the intricate map of veins in the human body.

But for you?

For you, he'd carve out every organ, bend every bone, shift every muscle so he can re-thread every vein until your mark is tied around a direct line to his heart  —  until he's turned fable to fact.

It's what you deserve, he thinks, parting from your kiss-swollen lips to stare deep into your eyes like he's searching for his place in your soul. You gaze back at him, only breaking away to press little kisses to his face, his nose, his cheeks.

You brush a piece of hair from his face with a dazed smile, twirling it through your fingers before you tuck it behind his ear. You card your hand through his hair, raking your nails along his scalp. Choso leans into your touch, eyes sliding shut when you do it again.

You keep going until you think he's finally fallen asleep, giving him one last kiss before you settle on his chest and chase your own dreams.

He waits until your breath evens out, tracing a gentle finger across your cheek and down to the pulse in your neck.

Of all the things Choso enjoys in the world, there are few he truly loves, and he finds himself forever thankful to know that you love him back.

[respectthepetty]

Like so many of you told me, this moment with Dee and Yak in episode eleven of Wandee Goodday as they kissed in their colors and the blinding light of love was perfect, it was beautiful, it looked like Linda Evangelista

But I have never hated blue so much in my entire life!

So Mason is my sworn enemy in his blue

Because he doesn't deserve that yellow belt!

That yellow belt only belongs to one person!

(And his mom who loves his queer son in his pink heart shirt)

So it's funny that Mason told Yak he couldn't win when Yak was backed by the purple

And years later, the fight is surrounded by purple with Mason in blue and Yak in yellow

Because we know who is purple and Yak has said that he can do all things as long as he has Dee there, so I'm glad the universe (Taem) gave Dee all the color support he needed to show up for his Yellow Yal.

So even though Yak is still seeing death like he is a vampire being interviewed about his ex

I have faith that Yak is going to win this title because the boys woke up in their colors

And Yak still has that purple bottle to make sure he stays hydrated.

So even though Only Boo shook me and told me not to trust the colors, I'm going to ignore the Grim Reaper in the room, and believe that Yak is going to win the championship because Cher wore rainbow socks and Kao had a rainbow shirt.

So if Dee is winning prom queen the scholarship

The show has to give ALL the gays what we want!

Give my boy his title!

[rarepairdumpster]

Teacher Viktor AU Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: T C/W: Child Jinx, Mob Boss Silco, Jinx is also a Vilco shipper

A few days later, Jinx comes in to class early, and leaves a glittery makeup palette and note that says "So You Can Be Pretty For My Dad" 

And Viktor goes tomato red when he gets to the (now full) classroom and reads the note.

Jinx just grins at him from her seat and gives him two thumbs up.

Viktor calls her to remain behind at the end of the day, and he sits her down to explain that leaving gifts and notes like that isn't appropriate.

"But daddy likes you."

"Well, yes, but I'm sure he means as your--"

"And you like daddy, right?"

Viktor can't help a little flush. "I enjoyed meeting him, yes."

Viktor has to take a measured breath when Jinx just looks triumphant.

"Jinx, do you know what would happen if someone else found the note you left? They might think I was playing favourites."

"But I am your favourite." 

"That isn't --" Viktor sighs. "I care about all my students, Jinx, but if someone starts to think I'm playing favourites, they might start looking at what I'm doing more. It might mean I'd get to teach you less. Or not at all."

Jinx smirks. "Daddy said if they ever get rid of you, he'll hire you as my personal tutor."

Viktor can't stop the incredulous laugh that escapes before he falters, face warming.

Before he can stop himself, he asks, "Does your father know about the gift you left for me?"

Jinx's eyes go wide. 

"It was supposed to be a surprise cuz cuz when daddy sees you all pretty he won't think about the things that make him grumpy and he'll be all smiley like last time"

Viktor mulls over the words,  over the quiet care hidden behind exuberant action. 

She loves her dad a lot. And she worries about him.

Viktor can see that.

"Well, what about when he sees you all pretty?" Viktor smiles and opens the pallete between them. "These are definitely your colors. I don't think I could pull them off."

Viktor teaches her how to do smokey eyes, but with purple, and makes sure to show her in the mirror that came with the palette.

And he explains to her that she can do the same with pretty much any colour scheme.

And Jinx gasps like Viktor unlocked the universe.

Jinx asks how Viktor knows about all this and he just smiles and says "teacher school, of course"

Of course, because he isn't going to tell a child that he spent his teen years learning how to use make up to hide how sick and tired he was, or that he spent his college years sitting on pretty, but beefier boys and painting their faces with makeup.

Jinx only gathers her things to leave when Silco's annoyed voice floats up the corridor.

But she doesn't go without giving Viktor a squishy hug first.

Viktor moves to the doorway to watch Jinx bound down the hallway to Silco, yelling at him to see how pretty she is.

"Mr Viktor helped me!!!"

Silco looks up and smiles at Viktor from down the hall. "Well then, I must insist we go for ice cream before home. I can't have you all made up with nowhere to go."

Viktor disappears back into the classroom quickly; his heart is beating maybe a little too hard. He curls his cool hand around the back of his neck. He hasn't felt this silly and discombobulated in a while.

The next time Viktor sees Silco, it's when he has pickup area duty a few weeks later. Jinx still hangs near him while waiting so, he's not exactly surprised when a pristine Rolls Royce pulls up and the back window rolls down to reveal Silco.

"Get in around the other side, Jinx," Silco instructs before turning his attention to Viktor. 

"This is the longest she's stayed in one school. We might even make it the year. I believe I have you to thank for that."

"If she does, I think she deserves a party," Viktor says, maybe a little boldly; the kind words Silco has been giving him might be going to his head.

"And would you be willing to attend such a party?" Silco raises an eyebrow.

"Depends," Viktor muses. "I think it would be a little unusual if I was invited to a party full of kids."

"I think the excuse of being her teacher is enough to attend a party honoring her academic achievements"

Viktor can't help the amused smile that warms his face.

Silco seems determined.

"I suppose I'll wait for the invitation then," Viktor replies, waving at Jinx when she's settled in next to Silco. "Have a good rest of your day, Mr Silco"

"And you, Viktor." 

Viktor turns away, but he can feel the way Silco's gaze drops, even if only briefly, to look at his ass. He hears a satisfied little hum behind him and the car starts moving.

Arch + Woods

[hungermakesmonsters]

Ofc we would love to see glimpses of our CMIYC Billy & reader with their bundle of joy!! Do we get a sneak peek as to whether it’s a girl or a boy? Or maybe a glimpse into their life like with the baby’s first birthday (with a little brother or sister on the way??)

I love the way you think and had to do something for this. I went with baby's first birthday because we all know that billy loves a good party, and you know that any kids he has are going to be completely spoiled at every opportunity. I kind of liked this idea so much that maybe one day I'll come back to it and do a little bit more - or maybe do baby's first year idk, I just always have so many feelings about CMIYC Billy and reader. Anyway, thanks for this, hope you enjoy what I came up with!!

The Missing Piece

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Fic Universe : Catch Me if You Can/Take Me By The Hand

Story Rating : R 

Warnings : [This is 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour for baby making (it's not done in a kinky way, but I figured I'd warn)

It was one year to the day since you and Billy had welcomed little Evelyn Russo into your lives and, since then, nothing had been the same.

Billy had stayed by your side throughout the delivery, despite the way you'd screamed and blamed him for every bit of plain you felt, promising him that you'd never let him get you pregnant again. At one point you even almost managed to crush his hand in yours, but Billy held on, not leaving you side for a moment.

Then Evie Russo came into the world with a shock of dark hair and her father's dark eyes, screaming her little lungs out.

The moment he was handed his daughter, Billy's composure crumbled and he cried, completely overwhelmed at the sight of her bundled up in the little teddy bear print blanket he'd chosen for her. He held onto her like he never wanted to let go and, when he finally had to hand her back to you, he lingered close to your side.

Together you'd managed to create something perfect and pure and beautiful, and just seeing Billy with her made you fall all the more in love with him.

The year that followed was more than you could have asked for; watching the little girl slowly grow and watching your husband dote on her every single day. Every night, without fail, he was home to put her to bed, and was up first thing in the morning to help you feed and change her. You never once felt alone or like he wasn't pulling his weight — in fact, he was there so much, you sometimes wondered if you were doing enough.

Billy went all out for her birthday. It was excessive even by his standards.

The house was filled with balloons and banners, and the cake — he'd bought a cake that was twice the size of the Evie (a purple and white unicorn). He'd even been a bought her extra presents, including a stuffed bear that was bigger than he was.

She was spoilt, and it was just something you were going to have to live with because you didn't have the heart to tell him to stop, not when you saw how happy it made him to see his little girl smile.

By midday the house was filled with friends, both Billy's and your own, all there to celebrate your perfect little girl. And Evie, like her father, loved the attention.

When she wasn't wowing the guests with her recent trick of standing unaided before falling back on her butt (walking was still a work in process), she was in her father's arms, little fingers grasping at his shirt and hair, making sure his attention was always on her.

And when she wasn't with Billy —

"I should have known she was with you," you said, smirking at Karen as she stood with Evie on her hip, helping the little girl reach the cake on the kitchen counter.

"It's not my fault that auntie Karen is her favourite," Karen shrugged.

"Auntie Karen is her favourite because she lets her get away with murder."

"She deserves it."

And there was really no arguing with that.

"You're good with her, have you and Frank —"

Karen gave an exaggerated sigh. "I need to get him to commit to a date for the wedding first."

Maybe it was because your relationship with Billy moved so fast, but Karen and Frank's relationship seemed to be moving at a glacial pace. They'd been engaged for almost five months and still hadn't set a date.

"You could always elope?" You suggested.

You held out your arms to take your daughter, smiling as Karen pressed a kiss to the top of Evie's head before handing her over. Evie gave a little giggle and babbled something that almost sounded like 'mama' as you held her tight.

"Now there's a thought," Karen answered, laughing and reaching for her wine glass.

"Do you want me to get Billy to talk to him?"

She looked at you for a minute before you both burst into laughter, knowing that any conversation like that between Billy and Frank would only make matters worse.

Your conversation continued for a few more minutes before she drifted away to find her fiance, but it wouldn't be the last time that afternoon that you caught her helping Evie sneak more cake.

The party was everything you could have asked for and, throughout the day, you found yourself stealing looks at your husband. It warmed your heart to see how much he'd opened up since you first met him, and how willing he was now to let people love him.

But, despite everything you had and how happy you were, there was a part of you that still craved more. A part that felt like something was still missing.

Once the last couple of guests (Frank and Karen) had left, you carried your sleeping daughter upstairs to to bathe before putting her to bed, while Billy dealt with some of the mess. He came into the nursery to kiss her goodnight while you finished reading to her, making sure she was fast asleep before tiptoeing out of the room.

You expected to find Billy in bed waiting for you but, instead, you heard the shower running in the ensuite.

You quickly stripped out of your clothes and made your way into the bathroom, slipping into the shower behind him and pressing yourself against his back. Billy let out a contented sigh and pulled yours arms around his waist.

For a few minutes you were happy to just enjoy the moment, winding down after a long day, but you still found yourself craving more and, finally, you were starting to understand exactly what you wanted, what was missing.

You started to trail kissed along his shoulder and up his neck while one of your hands ran down his body to take hold of his cock. Billy let out a soft moan as you started to stroke him, his cock instantly starting to harden in your grasp.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" Billy asked.

You didn't have to see his face to know that he was smiling.

"Everything you did for Evie today," you told him, between pressing kisses against his neck. "The way you are with her — with us — it makes me want more."

"More?" He asked, suddenly turning to face you, a wide grin on his lips. "You want another baby?"

"Yes."

"Right now?"

"I don't know," you said teasingly, "how quick do you think you could do it?"

Billy let out a laugh — and so did you because the whole thing just seemed so ridiculous.

But, ridiculous or not, Billy didn't seem to care. Before you could think to even ask what he was doing, he was on his knees in front of you, pulling your leg over his shoulder. You looked down at him, biting your lip when you caught the desperate look in his eyes.

He hitched your leg a little higher so he could bury his face between your thighs and —

You pressed your hand to your mouth, desperate to stifle your moans as his tongue began to delve between your folds and he started to devour you like a man possessed. It wasn't long before your fingers were gripping his hair and your hips were grinding against his eager mouth.

“Fuck, Billy,” you gasped into your palm as his lips closed around your clit.

In the time that you’d been together, it was safe to say that Billy had figured out exactly how to please you and he took great pleasure in doing it. And, while his tongue and lips lavished attention on your clit, he took the opportunity to slide a couple of fingers into the heat of your body.

Your hand pressed tighter over your mouth, not wanting to let out the cry that was desperate to escape you as his fingers and tongue drove you to the edge of insanity.

Looking down, you caught his dark eyes staring up at you and it was enough to push you over the edge, muffled moans escaping you as you fell apart for him. Billy stayed where he was, dragging out your orgasm until your legs started to tremble.

Your hand pressed to the cold tiled wall for support as Billy let go of your leg and slowly stood.

For a few seconds he looked at you, a hunger in his eyes that you were intimately familiar with. He’d always been so obvious with his desires, with how much he wanted. At the start of your relationship, he’d tried to fight it, tried to push it down and suppress it but, now, you wouldn’t let him.

You reached for him and took his cock in your hand again, giving it a squeeze.

“Fuck me, Billy.”

He didn’t need to hear any more than that.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulder as he lifted you up and pressed your back against the cold tiles, his lips capturing yours in an eager kiss. You whined against his lips at the feeling of his cock pressed against your still-sensitive entrance. 

Fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his head back so you could look at him.

“Billy...” you pleaded.

You expected him to break, for his control to snap, but he surprised you.

His hips moved slowly and you gasped as his cock notched into you and he slowly filled you. Your head dropped back against the tiles, and Billy took the opportunity to pepper your neck with kisses.

You’d expected to drive your husband crazy but it seemed that Billy had other plans. He wasn’t going to fuck you, he wasn’t going to lose all control, he was going to make love to you.

“I love you,” he muttered against your neck as he set a slow, deliberate pace.

He knew exactly what he was doing and what it did to you, and your body seemed to burn from the inside out as a result. You fingers found their way into his hair again and you pulled, forcing him to look at you as you made love.

“Billy — fuck, Billy," you gasped as you stared into his eyes. "I love you."

"Mine," he groaned, in a way that was so reminiscent of the early days of your relationship.

"Yours, Billy. All yours."

That had him moving a little faster, pressing you back against the tiles with each shift of his hips. Your back arched and you angled yourself so that every thrust would find that special spot inside of you, and it wasn't long until your whole body was trembling for him.

"Fuck, Billy I —"

"Let go," he said breathlessly.

And you did, your arms tightening around his shoulders as you came.

A few awkward thrusts later, Billy was following suit, burying himself deep inside of you as he came, and holding himself there until the pair of you had come down from your respective highs.

Neither of your said another word as he slowly pulled away and cleaned you up. You didn't speak as he lifted you out of the shower and dried you off, and he didn't say anything as he carried you to bed and snuggled up behind you, your body caged tightly in his arms.

It wasn't until you were starting to drift off that you felt him press a light kiss to your shoulders and mutter; "I've been waiting all year for you to ask me for another."

[jeonqkooks]

a fluff drabble ; 37 & 50 w the supernova couple:(

ways to hold the sun | jjk

SUPERNOVA SERIES MASTERPOST

pairing: jungkook x f!reader prompts: "you wrote me a song?" + "this isn't adrenaline, i want to spend the rest of my life with you." rating: PG genre/warnings: established relationship, idol au; fluff, itty bitty angst (for the supernova peeps?! shocking :o); kissing, implied smut, jk rides a motorcycle, unedited bc yolo 🤷‍♀️ word count: 1.8k note: thank you so much anon for sending in this request!! i'm almost a year late to this but like i always say, better late than never right? lol. anyways, this request gave me the chance to wrap up their story with a neat little bow. i can't believe this is the last thing i'll write for supernova :( this series will always be one of my personal favorites and i'm so emo that i'm ending their story with this drabble. but, they'll always have a special, special place in my heart and i'll always love them <3

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

How do you hold the sun?

The answer is simple.

You hold him with two arms wrapped around his waist - tightly, because it feels like he holds your life in the palm of his hand. In more ways than one, he does.

You hated that motorcycle that he loved so much, calling it unsafe even though he isn't reckless at all. He may be a daredevil sometimes, and the most adventurous compared to his hyungs, but Jungkook would never neglect his safety. He returns home to you every day, that's always his number one priority.

He'd convinced you to let him take you out on his motorcycle today, to this spot he knows just outside of the city to watch the sunset together. You'd been against the idea at first, but it was a losing battle and you were all too aware of it. Once he'd whipped out a pout and big puppy dog eyes, you knew you'd cave.

Now, as you sit behind him, holding onto him like a koala as the bike moves smoothly along with the wind, you're glad that you'd agreed to let him do this. The city grows smaller, and it feels like all of your worries seem more and more insignificant - manageable, like something you could easily overcome - by the second, until the whole skyline can fit into one single frame.

It feels nice, hiding in plain sight. The ridiculously chunky helmets that sit securely on your heads shield you from any and all outsiders. You can squeeze him as tightly as you want even at the red lights, and he can hold your hand without the fear of being recognized. To anyone else, you're just two lovebirds and a license plate. Two people in love. It's the most normal thing in the world.

When you arrive at your destination and he takes off his helmet, the radiance of his grin almost knocks you off your axis. It's ever-bright, filled with so much happiness that could make you cry for some reason. You'll never understand how a person can be the entire universe, so wonderful and spectacular and magnificent, but he is. He always will be.

There's that one poem that you hold close to your heart. Sometimes, when you retrace the words in your mind, you think it must have been written for you and him. "We deserve a soft epilogue, my love," it reads. "We are good people and we've suffered enough."

You aren't sure if you're a good person, but as he kisses you with so much love that must rival any other love in all of history, you think you do deserve a soft epilogue.

Your mother often says that good things should be repeated three times.

You and him.

You and him.

You and him.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with your fingers intertwined with his, a soft smile on your face, and dozens of polaroids scattered across the floor.

"Just one more," Jungkook says, reaching for the purple Instax again.

"Stop!" you laugh, lightly pushing him away when he tries to point the lens in your direction. "You've said that twenty times in the last two hours."

This is a new hobby that he's taken up. Ever since Hoseok gifted him the damn camera, it's all that Jungkook has been doing. To say that he was obsessed would probably be an understatement. He snaps photos of everything and nothing, of his meals whenever you draw a heart on his plate with the mayonnaise, of the crescent moon outside the window at night, of himself as he makes silly faces at the camera.

But most of all, he takes photos of you.

He keeps so many of them in his wallet that the stack of polaroids dedicated to you is thicker than all of his cash, which is to say that there's a lot. He keeps one in the pocket of every coat, because he said every time he reaches inside for warmth and finds a piece of you there, it makes him smile and forget that he's even cold at all. You'd nearly melted when he told you that. It was so earnest and pure that it almost made you feel guilty for ever thinking there'd come a day where the adoration he had for you could fill anything less than the sky.

"Please?" Jungkook pouts, before pulling you closer and kissing your cheek sweetly. "I need just one more for my new coat."

At this point, it's not a matter of having enough polaroids for his coats anymore. It's a matter of having enough coats for his polaroids.

You roll your eyes with playful endearment, but you allow him regardless. It shoots pure serotonin through your veins when he grins. He lets go of your hands to hold the camera, immortalizing the grin that you mimic, a contented sigh leaving him as he takes the shot. He tells you he loves you afterward, like it's such a privilege to be able to have you at all.

No one ever warns you that when the sun holds you back, your heart will feel so full that it might just stop beating altogether.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with your face tucked safely in the crook of his neck, his arm around your body, rubbing odd patterns on your bare back.

You're both calming down from the hour-long session of twisting around in the sheets on a lazy Sunday morning, your only witness being the sunlight that creeps in through the slit between your curtains. Jungkook hums a tune that you're unfamiliar with, and the soft vibration of his chest almost lulls you to sleep again.

"What song is that?" you mumble, your eyes fluttering close.

"Your song."

"Hmm?" You don't quite register what his answer, you already have one foot in dreamland already. "My song?"

"Wrote it for you."

And suddenly, just like that, you're wide awake.

He presses an absentminded kiss against your hair, like this is all just common information.

"Huh?" You push yourself up to prop your upper body on one elbow, looking down at him with a slight frown. "You wrote a song for me?"

"Yeah," he chuckles at your reaction. His other hand that isn't touching your back comes up to brush your hair away from your face, tucking it delicately behind your ear. If you weren't too focused on a different issue, you would blush, even though this is something he's done a million times. "I wrote a song for you."

"Be serious."

"I am serious."

"How?" you ask, unbelieving. "When? Why?"

"What do you mean how? It's literally my job," he laughs, pulling you flush against his body again. "Why? Because I love you. When? I started writing it after we first met."

"Jungkook," you breathe, full of teary-eyed affection as you press a kiss to his jawline, his neck, the top of his shoulder, anywhere you can reach while he's embracing you this tightly.

You repeat his name three times, then three more, then three more, until you're a broken record and he has to shush you with a kiss, one that makes your knees buckle even though you're already lying in bed.

If the world wanted to take him away from you again, you really wouldn't be able to survive. So you hold him desperately, thinking that you never want to let him go. Praying that the world will let you keep him this time.

How do you hold the sun?

You hold him with all your might, even though you're blinded by how bright he shines. Even though he's the source of all life, and you're just a flickering light that can be snuffed out at any moment.

You're always the first person that he looks for. He runs to you at full speed, picks you up with his arms around your waist and spins you around despite your flushed cheeks indicating embarrassment as everyone - the staff and his members included - chuckles fondly at the sight. You can still hear the crowd out there chanting their names, still buzzing with postshow excitement. Jungkook is buzzing too, that much is clear.

You know he misses this - the stage, the fans, the bond he shares with all the people that adore him. It's in his eyes, the way they sparkle so brilliantly that could put stars to shame. If you were any good with words, you would write whole novels about the light in his eyes.

He presses you against the wall while everybody else carries on with their business. You suppose they're used to this from the two of you. The staff hurries to clear the set, moving equipment from backstage to the vans outside so they could finally wrap up an exhausting day. The boys shuffle wordlessly to their dressing rooms to wind down, to bask in the high that only the stage could bring them.

Jungkook peppers kisses all over your face, his nose bumping your skin as he moves from your forehead to your cheek, the bridge of your nose, to your jawline, to your chin, to your lips. You giggle quietly as you let him shower you with affection, the palpable love seeping through every kiss.

That is, until he says something that makes you stop breathing completely.

"Marry me."

You stare at him, dumbfounded, as you try to make your brain work again. His chocolate orbs stare back at you, and it feels like looking at the night sky on a cloudless night to find the entire galaxy twinkling, smiling down at you. It's unfathomable how you could be loved by someone like him.

"Marry me. Please, marry me." he says again, his fingers caressing your face like you're the most precious being he's ever seen. Before you can open your mouth to answer him, he continues, "This isn't adrenaline. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You know you're nothing compared to him who lies in the center of the universe. You will never be able to shine as brightly as he does, not even a fraction.

You know you're nothing compared to him, and yet, he revolves around you regardless. To the rest of the world, you're insignificant. You're merely a soul among billions of others. If you were to disappear one day, you don't think a lot of people would care.

But to him, you're everything. You're the reason he exists, you're his favorite person in the whole wide world, you're the only one who will ever have his heart, you're his soft epilogue. He doesn't dim his light for you, and he should never have to. Instead, he lifts you up. He makes you shine too, even if it's only the two of you who see it. It's only you and him, but it's more than enough. It's the only thing that matters.

So, the question remains: How do you hold the sun?

The answer, in the end, is simple.

You hold him with love.

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 25.06.23]

[princessmaybank]

Im so so sorry. I requested but completely forgot to say who I wanted it with. Can you do prompts 6 and 14 from the Cherry Red prompt list??? Congrats on 5k you deserve it

😭😭

Sorry this took so long baby! You sent a few of these but we got it cleared up! I hope you like it!

No Touching

Pairings: JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, kissing, mutual masterbation, etc.

Summary: JJ sees your bruises and doesn't want to hurt you, he comes up with a plan to get you both off.

Author's Note: Not my best work, but I hope you like it!

She came running in with tear stained cheeks, soaking wet, and bruises all over her exposed skin. Y/N hadn't even said anything yet and my blood was boiling. John B was at Sarah's, everyone else was at their respective homes, and I wouldn't be caught dead at my house at the moment.

She immediately ran into my open arms. I held her as we stood in the middle of the living room. Y/N cried into my chest and with each sob it shattered my heart a little bit more. I suddenly remembered that she had those bruises. Careful not to hurt her, I pull her away from me so I can stare into her eyes. "Who did this to you?" I asked through gritted teeth, ready to tear apart the asshole who dared to lay a fucking finger on her. She was shaking as she gave me a name, barely above a whisper, but I heard it. That name was all I needed before I was stomping my way to the screen door, ready to charge through the thunderstorm outside to beat Rafe Cameron's ass. I would've too if I wasn't yanked backwards by a small tug around my bicep. I turned to face Y/N, trying to calm my heavy breathing.

"Please stay here. Don't leave me." She cried. Her voice broke on every word. I couldn't leave her like this, broken and hurt, so I decided to stay for her. My arms enveloped her shivering body making sure not to squeeze her and cause more pain.

"I'm tired. So tired.." She choked out. I led her to the guest bedroom before pulling out some clothes for her to change into. After I handed them to her I turned to walk out of the room but I felt that same small tug on my bicep again.

"Can you help me Jay? It's hard to move in certain ways." She frowned. "Oh, of course.." I tried not to stutter. She walked over to me and started to try and lift her arms over her head. "Hey, hey, slow and easy okay? One step at a time." I smiled at her. She smiled back and slowly began to move. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and slowly lifted, revealing more bruises on her torso.

I soothed her as I continued to remove her clothes. After she was left in her bra and panties I stepped back for a moment. I needed to grab the clothes from the bed but I couldn't help my eyes from running all over her body. The red and purple marks lacing her skin were enough to make my eyes water. Y/N is the most kind hearted and beautiful person I have ever known. Rafe Cameron never deserved her. He is already the biggest asshole on planet earth but to take Y/N, the sweetest woman in the entire fucking universe, for granted, now that's a new fucking low. Next time I see him I will fucking murder him. She deserves so much better.

Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard her light voice. "What did you say? Sorry.." I asked. "I said, are you just going to stare at me all day or are you going to do something about it Jay.." She smiled and waltzed over to me. She lightly placed her hands on my hips. Her bright E/C eyes were shining as she stared into mine. "I-I don't wanna hurt you Y/N.." I answered shyly. "I trust you with my life Jay.."

Before I knew it, we were on the couch, with each other's tongues down our throats. Her hips were jutting against mine. "Fuck are you sure about this Y/N?" I ask and pull away. "I've never been more sure, Jay." She smiled and stood up, her hand reached for mine and she led me to the bedroom. She closed the door and walked back over to me. "Hey uhm..can we take it slower?" I asked. I would usually jump at this opportunity but I couldn't help but think about how much pain she was in. I don't want to hurt her more.

She nodded in agreement before sitting next to me and started leaning in for a kiss. It took so much in me to keep my hands off of her, even though she wanted me to touch her. Our kiss led to me hovering over her, caressing her sides. She winced under my touch like it was too much. I pulled my hands away and continued to kiss her.

Fuck this was difficult! I couldn't touch her, but she wanted me to. "I-I can't I'm sorry Y/N." I pulled away and sat up. She hung her head low and whispered an apology. "No, no, don't be sorry Y/N. It's not your fault. And believe it or not, I really wanna touch you." I tried to comfort her from where I was sitting. "Really?" She asked through some tears. I nodded and gave her a smile. "Do you see what you do to me?" I chuckle and point to my hard-on which makes her giggle. "If it makes you feel better I'm extremely wet." She giggled and her cheeks tinted red. "I have an idea." I say before pulling my shorts down, my underwear follows shortly behind. I sat back down and started stroking myself. My head fell back as small whimpers released from me. I sat back and looked back to Y/N to see her with a shocked look on her face. "Oh fuck, close your mouth Y/N, not until you're ready to use it.." I whine and she surprisingly obeys. I stroked myself for a little bit longer while she watched me. "Your turn, princess." My pumps slowed down. "What?" She was embarrassed. Her eyes popped out of her head and her cheeks grew more red by the second. "Play with yourself princess." I said as I continued to stroke myself. I watched as her hand gently creeped between her legs. She started teasing herself through her shorts. "Fuck-" I whispered.

Y/N started to take her shorts off, leaving her panties on for a few moments. She teased herself by pulling her underwear harshly against her clit. My mouth was practically watering at this point. A small gasp came from her lips before she pulled her panties off. "C'mon princess, touch yourself for me." I whispered. Soon after, she brought her fingers down to her clit. I watched as her eyes closed and she shifted to get comfortable. Her tongue briefly came out to wet her lips as her fingers worked in small circles. I matched her pace with my stroking. Her eyes stayed closed but her mouth was wide, letting out pretty little noises. Her fingers circled faster. "Oh fuck Jay-" She moaned out and I nearly busted. I never thought I would hear her say my name this way. My hand went up and down faster as she continued to toy with herself. I still matched her pace making sure we would be ready around the same time. "C'mon princess, cum for me.." I panted. I sped up my motions and she did too. A few curses later from both of us and we both came at the same time. My name released from her mouth as I called her princess at the same time.

Her cum soaked the bedsheets under her as mine spilled into my hand. I smiled at her before walking to the bathroom to get a rag. I washed my hands so I could clean her up when I got back. I sat next to her on the bed again before gently wiping up her beautiful mess. "That was fun." She giggled. "Just wait until I can use my hands." I smiled and winked at her.

[duskoon]

Yandere!Toru x Reader (General Headcanon):

A/n: It ain't a request, but oh god I simp for this man so hard. He is my personal favorite Jojo villain so far, closely followed by Pucci then Valentine. It's shame he is overhated and underrated, so I'll give him the love that he deserves. Rejoice Toru lovers, I got your backs. Also, Jojolion is severely underrated and deserve some love. First Jojo post, let’s go.

Tw: Afab!reader, Jojolion Spoilers, Canon Divergence, Yandere themes, Obsessive/Possessive behaviours, Toxic relationship (Somewhat of a parasitic relationship), Co-dependancy, Stalking (Classic Toru behavior right here), Abandonment issues, Implied murder, Manipulation, Creepy undertones, Age difference (Reader is 25+ and Toru is canonically 87+, rock humans can live up to 120 and age very slowly in comparison to carbon-based humans), Interspecies relationship, Abuse of Authority, Medical malpractice (illegal usage of sedatives), WoU.

Note: Text = “Purple” = Wonder of U speaking.

╭──────༺♡༻──────╮ [Now playing: The Scientist] 𝟙:𝟘𝟙 ─────|───── 𝟝:𝟙𝟘 ↻ ◁ 𝕀𝕀 ▷ ↺ 𝕍𝕠𝕝𝕦𝕞𝕖: ■■■■■□□□ ╰──────༺♡༻──────╯

❦ “Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions..” The lyrics were blaring loudly through his earbuds, as Toru hummed along with it. In the reverie he was engrossed in, he accidentally collided onto someone. Consequently, dropping his phone in the process.

❦ Before the phone could clash with the ground and break, however, a gentle hand took hold of it and rose up to pass the device to him.

❦ “My apologies, sir. I was in a bit of hurry, you see. Please... Find it in your heart to forgive me.”

❦ Soft, yet a kind slant in the stranger’s voice snapped him from his previous stupor. As his mauvish-crimson irises wandered to meet her (e/c) ones before taking his earbuds off.

❦ “A-Ah. You don't need to apologize, miss. If anything, it's me who should apologize. I must thank you for your trouble, though.”

❦ Toru spoke with an alluring tilt in his tone, almost too charming if it weren't for the hollow eyes of his. He was the master of both guises and words. Like a jester that wore multiple masks to appease his audience.

❦ He had lived amongst organic humans for so long. Observing and adapting to their behaviors accordingly. Integrating in, yet never fully becoming one of them.

❦ He could truly never become fully human, Toru was painfully aware of that, even if he wished to be one. It's pointless to pursue such unattainable endeavour, especially if it goes against his inherent nature.

❦ The only way for him, as he thoroughly believes, to be as close to one is by accomplishing something grand. That way he’ll leave his mark permanently. That way he won't be forgotten, nor will his existence amount to nothing.

❦ Looking at the lady, he could see her wearing a navy blue medical scrub and a familiar lab coat. Is she a doctor in TG University Hospital? If so, how come he wasn't notified? He knew everyone there, aside from her. Perhaps a new hire? His curiosity has been piqued.

❦ “How intriguing…” The dark haired man thought to himself, as he shoved both his phone and earbuds into his yellow pant’s pockets. Toru chose to follow behind her. Not too far that he loses her out of his peripheral sight, but not near enough that it alarms her of his presence.

❦ In his eyes, it wasn't stalking at all but rather an observation to be made. After all for the majority of his long isolated life, he has been detached due to his “unique” circumstances.

❦ There’s something that allured him to her, was it perhaps the working of her stand? Was it fate itself? He wants to—no, must know. Yusaho was a means to an end for him, albeit you—for some odd reason—had managed to tug at his rocky heart.

~~~

❦ Due to his nature as a Rock Human… I personally believe Toru would take a long time, before he even realises his affections toward his darling is genuine and not born out of ulterior motives. Unlike, what had transpired between him and Yasuho in the past.

❦ Maybe it was your indiscriminate kindness that had enticed his voracious attention, especially since it was out of good heart, just like how a Venus flytrap secretes a sweet nectar to ensnare an unknowing prey into it’s grasp.

❦ Or by some sheer luck, he had somehow managed to flee the Higashikata’s before they could finish him off. His life was on a single thread ready to fall at any moment, if it weren't for your intervention.

❦ Perhaps you were a miracle worker of some sort that could cure the rock disease; That he had sustained from the equivalent exchange with the Higashikata’s youngest child, or you have a stand that could heal it? It doesn't matter the reason, he doesn't understand why… But he feels indebted to you.

❦ “Urgh.. Hah.. Thank you.. Thank you for saving me..” Toru muttered weakly, looking deeply into your beautiful eyes as you carefully stitched his wounds close to prevent external bleeding. It was beautiful to him. Just like the sheen of rainbow after a long storm. The eyes of his saviour. If you weren't, then one of Wonder of U endless calamities would have already stroke you.

❦ “Shhhh.. Rest your mind, I'll take care of you.. Don't stress yourself. By heavens… what… to… you?” You replied back softly, carrying the injured oddly dressed stranger to your home. Your mellifluous voice—in spite of cutting off—soothed his fears, as he closed his eyes. No longer dreading what Toru thought was his near death, because the dark haired man knows he’ll come back just fine. Your words and actions remained etched into his mind.

❦ One thing for sure… Once Toru comes into terms with his feelings, things will roll so fast and unbeknownst to you. You’ll suddenly feel scrutinizing eyes following you everywhere—whether be it his own (most likely), one of his cohorts, or even his own stand under a guise of a close relative—most likely an older man—of your own. It's not like he had a hand in said relative’s death who may or may not figured what he is up to, it was merely an… accident.

❦ Toru is extremely obsessive, as he is attentive to his darling’s habits and needs and personal preferences to a tee. From knowing ordinary things like their favorite genre of music, videogames, flowers, to their favorite food, and all the way to their medical records (Ex: If his darling’s family—by extension his darling— had a record of a hereditary diseases he’d know, to monitoring their menstrual cycle, his darling’s exact blood pressure and whatnot, and etc..) and other personal information.

❦ Whatever information regarding his darling he will covet it like a greedy dragon that preserve it’s treasures, whether through his status as a head doctor in the hospital or/and as the leader of Locacaca Organization. No one would ever suspect him of doing that, and if they do… Well.. It's a shame that they’ll met a misfortune end, eh?

❦ “Don't worry, sunflower. I will protect you, provide for you, and alleviate any kind pain you have. What kind of lover would I be, if I can't do all of that? There is absolutely nothing that I won't do to guarantee your safety and happiness except if it meant you're going to abandon/replace me. You're my first priority!”

❦ Paired with his obsessiveness, is his manipulative and sly nature. Don't let his playful and laid-back nature fool you. What lurks under his unassuming mask, is a dark and selfish urge to obtain you all for himself. Cut you off from the greedy world, only for his eyes to relish and keep.

❦ With his forbidden knowledge of his darling intricacies and inner secrets, the rock human will emulate whatever you like and would condemn what you hate. However, he is smart enough to share something of his own interests lest you suspect him.

❦ “Toru-san, It’s nice to see you again here! But, why are you here? Aren't you busy at the moment?” You asked; Voice soft, sweet, and innocent unaware of the “young” doctor’s true intentions. You were about to leave your office to head back to your home, but Toru’s sudden appearance has halted you. It's quite surprising that he precisely knew where you had worked, let alone the exact time your shift ended. Must be a coincidence, or is it?

❦ Your ardor and charity was one of a kind. Toru couldn't help but yearn for it, yet he only desires it for him and himself only. It irritates him when you share it with others, but he hides such distaste beneath a veneer of charisma.

❦ After all, he doesn't want you to be scared of him. He wants you to come to him out of your own will, and vie for him like he does to you. He is a patient man, after all. Whatever competitor/s he has for your heart are already taken care off with utter apathy toward their untimely demise.

❦ “I just finished my shift, sunflower.. I came here to ask you.. If you would like to accompany me to the theatre? I heard they'll be playing some of Tchaikovsky works, and I thought about inviting you along since you're a big fan of his works…” The young man offered, seeing your eye light up in excitement and brought a smile onto his unblemished face.

❦ “Really?!” You exclaimed elated, before deflating as you remember your current situation.

❦ “I uh.. really want to, but I… can't go.. Well.. I have a low budget at the moment… hahaha..” You continued shyly, yet that didn't stop the charming man from pointing his pointer finger ontop of your delicate lips almost to shush you in a teasing manner.

❦ “Don’t worry, If money is your concern… Then I can just cover for you! A diligent employee like you deserve a break from work. After all, stress is the greatest killer. Let me relieve some of your burden!” Toru muttered offering his right hand for you to take, while his left pointer finger is still caressing your lips.

❦ “Bu—” Before you could argue back, the dark haired man interrupted you with a playful smirk. “It is no trouble at all, sunflower.. You do not need to repay me with anything. Your presence is more than enough for me.”

❦ He is very lucid about his unhealthy obsession. Instead of rejecting it, however, he wholeheartedly accepts it. Due to his nature, he sees it as normal. Wouldn't you like to be pampered and loved like a pet?

❦ Toru is affectionate, and a tad bit physically clingy. Nothing too alarming at hindsight. Do you blame him? He had been so alone for so long without any connections, and whoever came after him succumbs to his stand’s lethal ability spurring his loneliness even further.

❦ All except you for some reason. Was it your stand that is protecting you? It doesn’t matter. He had a taste of you, and he won’t let you go. Toru refuses to go back to the agonizingly meaningless existence that he had before meeting you.

❦ What triggers him so quickly is the idea of his darling forgetting, rejecting or/and replacing him. It is his primal fear above anything else. You are the only person, who made him think of someone else besides himself.

❦ It’s enough he was rejected once due to his youthful appearance, he won't let that happen again especially with you. He had already latched onto you.

❦ “Ahahah.. Sunflower.. Please don't leave me.. I'll be good.. I'll be what you want me to be.. Just please, I beg you, don't leave me.” Toru dropped on his knees, with his two hands clutching yours tightly in a desperate manner.

❦ To an untrained eyes, you might be in the wrong for breaking this poor man’s heart. Yet, you knew better than anyone how dangerous this man was. How his obsession run deeper than still water. Or in this case, endless stream of blood and death.

❦ If only you knew back then, saving him would lead him to slaughter anyone who came close to you. All in the name of protecting and loving you.. How delusional.. Love begets altruism, not selfishness. Though, you doubt he could comprehend that.. Left completely in the dark about his inhuman nature.

❦ You’d have let him to crumble like dust, but it was far too late for that now. As he brought your hands, to where his heart supposed to be.

❦ It is often said that human response to danger was flight or fight, yet there was a third option that is often forgotten about. Freeze.

❦ Taking advantage of his beloved’s shock, he swiftly administered a sedative into her body. Slowly watching her body fall limp. Before your head could reach the concrete, he held you close to his chest.

❦ “Tell you I'm sorry. You don't know how lovely you are…” The rock human muttered softly, carrying your unconscious body to his “home” that he had bought for you. Away from civilization, just the two of you living together forevermore. The notion that you're dependant on him for everything, puts a smile on his face. He wants to be your world, just like you are to him.

❦ Escaping him is pointless, since the rock human has his connections everywhere. That, and his obsession for you had gone so far, that even his stand has inhibited some of it.

❦ Whenever Toru goes in his habitual sleep cycle like most rock humans do, Wonder of U most likely is keeping watch over you. It's very apparent since disasters and freak accidents follow you like a moth to a flame. It may not harm you directly, but the guilt that eats your mind for being the indirect cause of the bystander’s death will prevent you from trying again.

❦ “I must commend you! Not only were you clever to discover a way through my abilites, yet found a way to run away from my user. However, it's no use fleeing from us… You will only bring calamities to innocent bystanders… You do not wish for that, would you? The moment our eyes laid on you, human, it was preordained for us to be one. It would be best for you to make amends with your fate.”

[besaya-glantaya]

In an attempt to exorcise these thoughts from my brain (this movie has taken up residence in my soul), here is an incomplete list of the things I notice and love in Red White and Royal Blue.

1. Henry staring in utter disbelief at the frosting-covered whiskey tumbler Alex plops distractedly into his hand whilst pawing ineffectually at the mess all over Henry's shoulder. Comedy gold.

2. Nora pretending she doesn't know either of them and hiding her face as they scuffle in front the cake.

3. How Alex has Henry literally in his pocket while talking turkey.

4. During Henry's "what does it mean" crisis talk over The Kiss, the entire scene is dressed in bi flag colours. Nora is in pink, Alex in blue, with a purple poster in the background.

5. The soft "whoa" of the white house staffer, who walks into Nora's office just in time to hear her ask Alex: "How many guys have you been with?" She hesitates, stunned, and then looks as if she'd like the ground to open up and swallow her now, thank you very much.

6. His Royal Hardness making flustered small talk with the UK Prime Minister and the US President, while the FSOTUS goes in for a cheeky squeeze. You ridiculous, giddy, fools.

7. Ellen's exasperated "my son thinks he's a fucking comedian" look in reply to Alex's "The night is young, Ma" and his shit eating grin, before diplomatically, and very sensibly, removing the British PM from the vicinity of these two horny idiots.

8. Alex's warm and teasing delivery of "Are they known for their homosexual tendencies?" after Henry says he's "as gay as a maypole." Boy is smitten.

9. When Henry invites Alex to the charity polo match, his initial awkward nerves transition to fond derision when Alex's tells him, crestfallen, that he doesn't know how to play polo. Bless.

10. Henry on a horse. Very much in agreement with Alex on this one.

11. The interleaved editing of the polo match and tack room shenanigans. It reminds me strongly of the interlaced 'what if' scene in Steven Sodenburg's Out of Sight, which is executed at a far slower pace but delivers that same feel of two people being inexorably drawn to each other, almost as if events are fated to happen.

12. The lighting in the Paris cafe scene. God damn those are two beautiful men.

13. Henry's gleefuly bashful admission of innuendo in the Paris cafe. He's just given Alex his full Royal name, but its Henry Fox that's in control here and he's revelling in bringing every moment of his inner fantasies to life.

14. The heartbreaking disconnect between their two perspectives in the Paris walk scene.

That's some bullshit

It's my life

Doesn't mean you have to accept it

Alex has spent his life pushing defiantly against societal expectations. Henry has spent his life weighed down by them, isolated in a way that Alex only barely grasps.

15. I wish, with all my heart, that the fairytale political landscape of this movie was real.

16. The entirety of the morning after scene in the hotel room during the DNC is perfection and Zahra is the MVP. Matthew Lopez said he had no idea he was going to get that mini panic attack from Sarah Shahi and kudos to Sarah for that perfomance. Inspired.

17. How quickly and assertively Alex say "No" to Zarah's "would it make any difference if I told you not to see him again?"

18. The way Zarah says "Everytime I see you, it takes another year off my life." This phrase plays on loop in my brain during shitty work meetings.

19. The coming out scene with Alex and his Mom. A joyous balm for those of us who never got to experience that with our own parents.

20. Forehead touches. Ugh.

21. My brother in Christ, sharpen your knives Oscar, what did that pepper do to deserve that?

22. The catatonic state of sadness that Henry exists in after swimming away from Alex. My heart hurts.

23. The pride flags in the crowd outside Buckingham Palace. Again, can we all have this universe, pretty please?

24. The way Henry takes Alex's hand with such ease in public after the election win. If only Paris Henry could see you now.

[Exorcism sequel here]

[spooky-bunnys]

I have this simple and silly request

So takemichi decided to introduce his little brother (the reader) to toman and he invites them over to his house and they have a blast and the reader has a blast meeting toman

Little later takemichi has to get items from the grocery store and all of toman decide to tag along and help with groceries

And shockingly Kisaki and hanma manage to convince the others that they will make sure they stay and keep an eye on the reader while the takemichi and the others are at the grocery store and after they leave Kisaki tries to manipulate the reader and turn his back against his older brother

And after takemichi and toman show up to his house they are baffled by what they are witnessing the reader is pilling dirt on hanma and Kisaki that are somehow tied but and while Kisaki is too stunned to speak hanma is being over dramatic (like how amethyst was when she was going to be buried in steven universe)

Unfortunately I don't know how amethyst would've reacted since I stopped watching Steven Universe a LONG time ago. But I did what I could. Hope it's okay. ENJOY!

When Toman found out Cry Baby Mitchy, had a baby brothers. Two things happened. They were confused on why they weren't told, and they nearly tore down Takemichi's front door. When Toman finally got into the Hanagaki household they were greeted with an absolutely adorable sight. Takemichi had (keyword had, cause when he door came flying open it scared the shit out of him) been napping with a smaller version of himself on his chest.

"Holy shit! It's a Tiny Mitchy!" Mikey yelled racing towards the brother. The little brother had blue eyes just like their Mitchy. But his hair was black. Mikey held his arms out wanting to hold the Tiny Mitchy. When their eyes meet Mikey's heart almost broke at how innocent his eyes were. "Hi tinymitchy. I'm Mikey." The toddler stared at Mikey then tilted his head.

It was like an arrow had been shot in the heart of the Toman members behind him. "Key?" Mikey fell to his knees clutching his heart. Holy fuck. This kid was just too cute. "(Name) meet Mikey and our friends." Takemichi started introducing the present Toman members but stopped at Kisaki and Hanma. "T-This is Kisaki and his friend Hanma." (Name) noticing how stiff his brother was ignored the two.

(Name) turned his attention to the Toman members. His eye brightening when seeing someone who he hasn't seen in a while. "Fu!" (Name) squealed arms stretched out wanting Chifuyu to hold. Chifyuu laughed and carefully took him from Takemichi. The two started making funny faces at each other making the rest laugh. That's when Takemichi mentioned how he needed to get groceries but didn't want to leave (Name) alone.

Surprisingly Hanma volunteered himself and Kisaki to watch the toddler. It took a lot on convincing considering how suspicious it was. But Mikey convinced Takemichi and they went to the store. Leaving (Name) with Kisaki and Hanma. (Name) stared at the two uninterested. He slowly made his way back to the couch to finish his nap.

He unfortunately didn't get very far when he was picked up. (Name) looked up meeting purple eyes. "Hiya~" (Name) just stared. "You're a lot cuter then that rat of a brother you have." (Name) turned to the voice. Meeting Kisaki's eyes. (Name) huffed and tried to wiggle out of his prison. But the prison just chuckled and started bouncing him.

"You know. I could be a much better brother then yours right? I could get you lots of toys." (Name) stopped wiggling and stared at Kisaki. Hanma laughed thinking they were winning the tot over. "Oys? "Yeah toys. I'll give you the attention you want. I'll play with you whenever you want. I'll be a better brother that you deserve."

(Name) stared at Kisaki. "Mimi?" They guessed he was asking about Takemichi. "The cry baby will be taken care of. You'll never see him again." Oh shit. Wrong move dude.

When Toman and Takemichi arrived back to the Hanagaki household they were expecting to see or at least hear (Name) playing. But they didn't see or hear anything. That made them panic. When they searched around the house they heard Draken calling for them to come to the backyard. The sight that greeted them was one nobody expected.

Kisaki and Hanma were tied up with a jump rope and (Name) was throwing dirt on them using his tiny shovel. Kisaki looked to be so shocked he didn't notice was was going on. Hanma was just speechless. Neither were talking and both were pale. Takemichi picked up (Name) brushing the dirt off him. While the others were unburying the two captains.

When asked what happened neither captains spoke just stared at the toddler who started squealing when his "work" was interrupted. "Mimi goo Bubby! Bad Ski! Bad Han!" (Name) looked to be out for blood. It was Chifuyu who somewhat understood what the Tiny mitchy meant. "You bad mouthed Takemitchy to his baby brother?! The fuck is wrong with you!"

Draken had to hold Chifuyu back from reburrying the captains. Mikey interrupted the arguing. "Why would you do that to Tinymitchy?" Kisaki broke from his thoughts brushing the dirt off his uniform and fixed his glasses. "I just told him I was sorry his only family cares more for his friends then him." That sent a new form o anger through the present Toman members and the toddler.

After that Kisaki and Hanma didn't go near the toddler. Unless they wanted to be tied up and buried again.

[sh1nch1r0]

𝖀𝖓𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖑𝖞,𝕻𝖊𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Ran Haitani x Reader

U were not perfect,but he was everything about him was perfect.It made u inescure to theur breaking point so u left.He never understood why u left..but everything changes when u meet again

TW:insecure reader,bodyshaming,angst,break up,cursing,rindou beeing a snitch,alcohol,drugs

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Ran was casualy going about his day when u told him u wanted to break up,he held it for a Joke at first but u were serious.His mind was racing with toughts did i do someting wrong?Did i say someting wrong that offended her?.Ran just looked at you in shook.

„But why babe...please...tell me what did i do wrong“his voice sounded shaky.

But u never answered him u just stood up and left.As he heard the Front door fall into its lock his heart shaterd.His head fell into his Hands as hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

„fuckkkkkkkkk.......fuck“ ran cursed to himself,was it the alcohol was it the drugs he sometimes used was it that.

A familiar voice brought him out of his trance.

„She broke up with you didnt she “ said his brother.

„Yes she did.....“ he wishperd and looked up at his younger brother,

„Do u know why“rindou asked him.

Ran just shook his head and then looked down.

„I know why....u know i am good at reading people and she was just like a open book“

„So then tell me why she broke my heart“ tears welled up in his eyes again.

„Shes insecure...she views you as too hot to this to that for her and she views herself......“ Rindou wanted to say.

„She views herself as imperfect i know but she knows i am not perfect i am the incomplete and unperfect one “ran whisperd

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

Two weeks,it were only two weeks and u felt like shit.U loved Ran more than anything in the Universe but he was just so he was way too hot for u and all the girls who hit on him are much more pretty than u. Everyday without Ran was hell u woke up in a cold bed,u passed all the spots where ran and you hung out when u went to work,it was torture.

The only thing that kept u from thinking about ur looks and ur ex boyfriend was ur work.Those 8 Hours of disstraction were good,u dont have to think about anything exept getting ur work done.As u left ur work building at 9 u noticed someone standing near the entrance that seemed....familiar.

„Rindou what are u doing here“ u asked the youinger Haitani Brother.

„We are holding a Party this friday at 10 i want u to come “he said dryly.

„Ran wants me to come hmm“ u hummed.

„No,i want you to come.And i know the exact reason why u broke up with him“his purple eyes looked into ur soul.

„And the reason is....“u asked annoyed.

„Ur inescure u think ur fat ugly and u cant do shit and that Ran is perfect and that one day he will think that ur ugly and all that “Rindou nailed it,it was the exact reason why u enden things with his Brother.

„But how would you fell when u see so many girls hitting on him that look so much better tan yourself,ran deserves so much more than me than a dan loser that is insecure as fuck and ugly and...“a tear slipped down ur face mid sentence.

„Tell that Ran and not me......so i will expect u on Friday“he left u with that sentence.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

It was Friday.Today was the Party and Ran hopped that u would come,he was in need to talk to you,he needed to clear things with you.Cause if not he would slowly start to go insane.

The music was loud and the party was i full go,but there was no sight of u.Ran stood on the second floor of the appartment and looked down at the guests he was in such a trance that he did not notice that a female was standing beside him.

„U are so lost in your toughts pretty boy what are u thinking about“she slurred.Was probably drunk.

„Leave me alone i have a fucking girlfriend u dumb bitch“he lashed out at her.

The woman left the second floor and Ran looked back down,but there was no sight of u.

„U have a girlfriend hmm“a voice beside him whisperd.

As he looked besid he saw ur pretty face.

„U came“he sounded surprised.

„I know i am late but i needed to get some work down sry“u apologized to the male.

„No worries love“

„So Rindou told u what i said...to him“u asked.

„Yes he did“he hummed in response.

„What made u think i am perfect.....“

„Ran u hair always looks good and mine is greasy after only two days,u go to the gym daily i only walk and thats not doing much for my body i am still not at my dream weight,u look good in everything while i look fat and so ugly in everything.....“u wanted to contine but u felt two fingers gripping ur face.Ran turned ur face towards you.

„SHUT the Fuck up u look good“he said in a angry tone.

„Babe u are the most perfect thing i have ever seen ,no women EVER compares to u not to ur beauty and ur pretty body u look like an angel from heaven.If u think that any girl compares to you u are delusional as fuck ur the only one to for me u understand“

Tears formed in ur eyes as u looked up into his unique purple eyes.

„Thank u....i love u ran“u whisperd.

And both of ur lips connected.Ran was pressing his body against yours,he broke off the kiss and looked u into the eyes.

„Dont do that to me again“his voice sounded vunerable and almost hurt.

U made ur answere clear by pulling him into a heated kiss.

❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁•❁

[icedragonlizard]

What if dream friends had dialogue in Star Allies?

I suppose it could've been a lot of unnecessary work for HAL to do, but I still think it could be highly fun and imaginative to think about.

How cool would it be if the game's plot actually acknowledged the existence of the dream friends? The things they'd say in-game, etc...

I think it would be especially fun to think about what all the different dream friends might saying during the mage sister fights. Like, y'know, the points of the game where there's dialogue. What they all might say to the mage sisters in response to their words....

... I'm not going to go over what I think every dream friend would say in these moments, but I think I'd like to focus on ones such as Susie, Magolor, Marx, Taranza and Daroach. Why these ones in particular? Because I think they'd probably be the more entertaining ones in what they'd have to say in their dialogue during the mage battles.

How funny would it be that Marx and Magolor just troll the shit out of the mages? How funny would it be that Susie acts condescending when talking to them? How funny would it be that Taranza joke-flirts with them, he doesn't actually mean it as he's just doing it to get them riled up? How funny would it be that Daroach tells them to watch out before he steals from them? This stuff is fanfiction-worthy! Heck, this might be the biggest reason why I might attempt my adaptation of Star Allies into a fanfiction in the future, although I've got many other fics planned beforehand so it'd be a long while.

But still! There could be endless potential when thinking about this.

Let me demonstrate an example. First, let's look at the part where the game first introduces Flamberge, and she's really angry.

"HEY, YOU! Stubby little...pink thing! Yes, YOU! I have a buuuurning question for you! You're the one who was so rude to sweet Francisca, aren't you?! Don't you dare try to deny it!"

"Ohohohohohohoho! We sure put that crazy blue lady in her place! What are you gonna do about it? Throw a temper tantrum? Go so berserk that you lose control and we can easily beat you?"

Wanna guess who said that? Hahahaha... the purple text probably made it obvious. In this interpretation, it's Marx who said that. There's no way he wouldn't just totally mock them and rub it in their faces. At the very least in my interpretation of Marx, it'd be like him to do that.

And by the way, I'm one that actually headcanons Marx becoming friends with the mage sisters post-HiAD because he loves how chaotic they are, and loves that they're willing to join him in doing insane shit (especially Francisca). But during Star Allies when the mages were the enemy? I bet he totally mocked the shit out of them!

Magolor, too. Here's a good example of Magolor having dialogue against one of the mages:

"Bonjam. I am Zan Partizanne, the eldest of the three generals of magic."

"Woah... Zan what? I didn't hear that thoroughly! I think I'll call you Zan Parmesan Cheese, though!"

".... I absolutely HATE that you ended up getting my name more right than a lot of other fools have."

It'd be hilarious to see a lot of dream friends trying to say her name. All the different ways they could say it wrong.

Here's a Taranza example:

"This must be the fiery flames of fate at work! Ooooh yeaaaah! My flames and I are fully stoked now!"

"Golly, you're really hot, good ma'am!" with a trollish look on his face.

"... Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?"

"Hahahahahaha! Am I making you overheat too much, fool?"

I think Taranza deserves to be depicted as silly sometimes.

A Daroach example:

"We wish to assemble the dark Jamba Heart pieces that were scattered across the universe."

"Woah... you want them all? That's a big bummer! What if I want to steal some of them? Maybe I'll still do it out of spite, teehee!"

I hate the limited amount of colors allowed for tumblr posts. To make it clear, for this example, the blue text is Francisca while the red text is Daroach. While, of course, Flamberge was the red text in the examples with Marx and Taranza, while Magolor was the blue text in the example with Zan.

And now, let me demonstrate a couple examples with Susie. I think she'd delightfully fire off on them like the feisty cheeky woman she is.

"I shall now turn this pink ball of nice into a frozen block of ice!"

"No you won't. This 'pink ball of nice' is a force of pure destruction, and you're going to defrost by daring to harm the universe with all of this insolent nonsense. You must be destroyed!"

"... Very well. But I won't go down without a fight, so you best watch out that you all might become ice sculptures this time. I can more than make sure of it!"

"We will more than make sure to obliterate you, just like the rest of your barbaric cult! Let's put her in her place, Pinky!"

Susie example with Zan:

"I did not expect you to survive your visit to Jambastion."

"You thought that would've gotten us? Pfft! We've all been through worse than that. You're going to have to try harder than that if you really want to eliminate us for good."

"Really, you survived worse? Well, that doesn't matter, because your luck has run out."

"No. Your luck has run out. We're going to exterminate all of you like the savages you are!"

This works out well with my interpretation that Susie's Japanese SA pause description containing the words "exterminate the savages!" is referring to the Jambastion cult when they were still the enemy. I headcanon that she's slowly in the process of unpacking baggage, and "savages" is just a thing she calls people she views as enemies.

And uh... to be honest, the cult kind of deserved to be called words like that during Star Allies when they were threatening everything.

I've done a lot of examples of a few dream friends having dialogue during the mage battles. But what about when confronting Hyness?

I think all the dream friends would be horrified at the moments that Hyness knocks Zan out of the way, weaponize all three mage sisters' bodies in his second phase of the fight, and then sacrificing them and himself to Void Termina. It would make them just flabbergasted.

Although I bet Marx would probably laugh at how unhinged he is.

"It seems... we do not have enough energy... to revive our Dark Lord... Must we... allow ourselves... to fall... into oblivion?"

"Yes, you should do that!"

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"No no no no no!"

"Yes yes yes yes yes!"

"*goes on his giant unhinged rant*"

"*laughs hysterically* Look at you go off! It's hilarious!"

Marx is just... lmao.

Sorry that I don't have examples with every dream friend having dialogue in this post. But you get the general idea! Perhaps if you have ideas as to what the other dream friends could say in these moments, feel free to mention them in the notes!

Although I'll leave you here with a King Dedede example, just cuz:

"For what you've done, I'll scorch you to such a degree that... that... even tasty, toasty marshmallows will seem like ice cubes compared to you!"

"You ain't gonna be scorchin' any of us, ya hot fiery slimeball! We'll put you in your place like we did to the blue look-a-like of ya!"

Hahaha... ha... I interpret southern accent Dedede. Sue me.

Thanks for reading the post if you did! Let me know about more ideas of dream friend dialogue you have in the notes. I'd be curious what else you think in this broad, interesting concept.

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | ch 9 (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in previous/later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: ending of that lil bit of miscommunication in ch 8, a very heartfelt conversation, probably some curses

☆word count: 7k

☆series masterpost here

☆a/n: Finallyyyyy, the angst is ending my friends. I hope you'll enjoy it <3 and also thank you to @moonleeai for her beta reading on this fic, I won't ever thank you enough, you're the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden here, the fic that inspired this whole story, written by @daechwitatamic, one of my fav human beings on this app <3 It follows the story of Jo and Taehyung before The Forgotten Spaces

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

Tuesday, September 25th

                You wake up slowly at first. Like a feather, softly falling, unbothered by the weight of the universe. It’s calm, like a forest in the winter when it’s snowing. It’s peace personified, like the world never held any wars or pain.

Then you wake all at once, like you’re struck by lightning, energized by it, electricity coursing through your blood. You feel his presence before you see him, and you think you’d be mad at him for lying next to you.

But when your eyelids flutter open to the sight of his purple room, all that fills you is peace again.

It grows tenfold when you turn and see him lying next to you, on his belly, hand reaching towards you. His mouth is slightly open, and he’s lying on top of the covers.

Which means he never meant to fall asleep next to you.

You haven’t realized how long his hair has grown before. Because right now it’s falling in front of his eyes, and you want to brush it behind his ear. It’s a visceral need, and the peace grows once more.

It grows and grows, and you reach and push his hair back, softly. Fingertips grazing his cheek, staying there as if they’ve found a home. He closes his mouth in his sleep and sighs, but he doesn’t wake up. He returns to his soft snoring a second later, and you just run your fingers along his cheekbone, tracing the planes of his face ever so softly.

But tomorrow has come, or is coming soon. And the peace grows again, until it bursts.

Until it bursts and aches, choking you up. Your hand rests heavier on his cheek as tears blur your vision, and the explosion of peace crushes your heart, until a sob finds its way up.

You choke on the sob, and quickly sit to move away from Jungkook. In this moment, all you can think is that he’s hers. Your brain produces the words like a litany in your mind, and you think it’s making you crazy.

You were crazy to come here in the first place. To think you deserved a spot at Jungkook’s side.

You grab your phone, and see that it’s the middle of the night. You don’t care one bit, and you call Jisung. Not Jiho, because Jiho doesn’t know how to drive, and she also has a midterm tomorrow morning.

Jisung doesn’t pick up, and you choke on another sob as you call again. This time, the call goes on voicemail quicker than it’s supposed to, and you receive a text a second later.

[4:46 am] Sungie: you better have a good reason for waking me up in the middle of the night🙄 [4:46 am] Sungie: what’s up? [4:47 am] You: can u come pick me up? [4:47 am] Sungie: what’s wrong [4:48 am] You: it’s complicated. mom kicked me out, and i’m at jk’s place [4:48 am] Sungie: wtf? [4:48 am] Sungie: i don’t wanna go outside😭 and i’ll kill your mom, but what’s new. [4:49 am] Sungie: omw

You sigh a breath of relief, but it breaks on your lips and you cry out, as the tears and the pain win once again, as they’ve been winning all evening.

You get up, you take a few steps, you stumble on something and catch yourself on the wall. You feel like you’re going to be sick, you’re tired, exhausted, and you wish for your bed.

But you don’t have a home anymore, do you?

Jungkook says your name. He says your name like you’re a prayer, and you break some more, refusing to even turn to look at him. You just stumble to your bags, pick them up and try to reach for the door.

Jungkook stops you with a gentle hand on your wrist.

He repeats your name, and you refuse to look at him. This time, when he tries to pull you in, you resist. You don’t want him to touch you, you don’t want him to hold you when you know it’s all just a lie. When you know tomorrow will come and he’ll be gone.

He’s forgotten you. He’s forgotten you too, he’s forgotten the pain he brings. And you think, if the world was ending, would he stand on the threshold of your memories together with you? Because you think you got lost in the memories, you forgot memories come and go.

“Let me go,” you beg, weakly, because you’re weak. Like you’ve been sick, and you think you might be. Maybe your broken heart festered inside of you, releasing toxins into your bloodstream until it rendered you sick.

“Please tell me what’s wrong,” he says in an equally weak voice, but he does let go of you.

You scoff, and you don’t say anything before turning the doorknob and opening the door.

“I’m sorry that I fell asleep next to you,” Jungkook says, and he sounds like he’s panicking. Like he doesn’t want you to slip through his fingers. But the tighter he holds you, the more you slip. You’re like sand: immortal in the way you’ll always slip through his fingers, like he’ll always slip through yours.

“It’s not that.” You drop one of the bags, because your wrist hurts almost equally as your heart. “Jungkook, you have a girlfriend, we shouldn’t be together.”

You eye your bag, deciding that it’s not worth trying to pick it up. You’ll ask Jo to bring it to you wherever you’ll find a home for the next few days. You’re walking away, striding away, running away.

You’re fleeing like he fled that night he told you about her. Part of you wishes you could rush to your mother’s side, could show her your broken heart and beg her for the love she is supposed to give you. Unfortunately, her maternal affection ran low far too long ago.

But Jisung is coming. That’s all that matters.

You’re at the top of the stairs when Jungkook speaks next. “I broke up with Laura.”

You still. As much as you were breaking a second ago, your heart just stops shattering. Just stops existing altogether for a moment.

“What?”

“I broke up with her Sunday morning.”

You turn to look at him. He’s barely visible in the purple light that escapes his room, and you can’t see his features. But you feel the weight of his gaze on you.

“What?”

“I’m not with her anymore. I wanted to talk to you about it tomorrow only, because I found you already vulnerable earlier.” He pauses. “That’s why I went to the studio in the first place.”

“Jungkook…”

You wonder if he’s breaking in time with you. You wonder if he too was vulnerable tonight, and if that’s the reason why he’s cried so much.

Did he care for her enough to ache from your presence?

“I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you by telling you while you were vulnerable.”

You understand why he chose to do it that way. But you still hate him for it.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Jeon Jungkook.”

You think he might be smiling. He does sound like he’s smiling when he speaks next. “Can I hug you?”

“I hate you.”

He laughs, and it breaks, and you only then realize that he wasn’t smiling. He’s crying, and he wipes a hand on his face.

“Don’t…” you trail off, and then you both startle as Jin appears in the doorframe to his room.

“Can you guys please shut the fuck up, it’s the middle of the night.”

You snort. It sounds like a pig, or maybe a hog or a boar. You actually have no idea what it sounds like, just that it’s hysteric, as is the laughter that erupts from you and Jungkook quite at the same time.

Jin just watches the both of you as if you’re crazy, and you are. You’ve suffered so much you’ve gone crazy, and you don’t even care.

You laugh longer than Jungkook, shedding tears that you dry mindlessly with your thumb. Tears heavy with emotions, different emotions than the ones that you’ve been feeling for weeks.

Indeed, hope has cracked some part of the pain, like a sunrise that shines through a veil of thick clouds, sunrays stubbornly refusing to be stopped by the bleariness.

You laugh for all the breaking that you did, and it’s no wonder Jungkook eventually moves to grab your hand and pull you back into his room. Only then do you stop laughing, and you say, “Jisung is coming to pick me up.”

That showers the both of you until you’ve calmed down, enough to be able to glance at Jin that’s still watching with the most disgusted expression on his features. When the two of you find him on his doorstep, Jin figures it’s better to dip, and he goes in, shutting the door softly behind him.

You think you see him winking at Jungkook before he disappears from view.

“Okay,” Jungkook lets out. “That’s okay, let me grab your bag.”

“You’re not angry?”

He shakes his head no in the faint light of the hallway, glancing at you as he grabs the bag you left near his door. “No. I understand that you need some space. And we’ll talk tomorrow, right?”

You nod. You nod because you’re done breaking. “I’ll call you first thing in the morning.” And then you feel infinitely stupid, because he’s blocked your number months ago.

Jungkook has probably thought about the same thing, because as he’s walking back towards you, he says, “I’m sorry I blocked you.”

You raise your hand, the one whose wrist is in a brace. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Just unblock me.”

“I…” he trails off. “I don’t know how to.”

You shut your eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“I’ll figure it out”, he promises. “I’ll figure it out and I’ll be the one calling you.”

You nod, and you look at him. “I… might be angry at you.”

“I deserve it.” He grabs the bag you’re holding, and then motions to the stairs. “You can punch me if you want, but we should go downstairs before Jin kills me.”

“Please do!”

You both laugh once again, and you think you hear a feminine voice scolding Jin.

You follow Jungkook downstairs, shining light with your phone so you don’t fall. Jungkook leads you right to the hall, and he puts your bags down by the door. He then leans down to massage his knee, and you wonder if pain has licked its fingers up his thigh the way it’s been licking its fingers up your arm.

But not in your heart. Your heart is done aching.

You glance outside, and you see that Jisung is already there. He must have been at Felix’s place. Jungkook notices too as he stretches, and you think you see disappointment on his features.

“Do you want me to carry the bags to the car?” he asks, gently.

You reach out between you, hand moving up until it’s cupped his cheek. He looks startled, eyes going round and looking between your two pupils a couple of times.

“I’m sorry I woke you up”, you say as you let your hand fall, because you have no idea why you did that in the first place.

“No, don’t be,” he reassures you. “I’m glad I woke up and could reassure you. I don’t like misunderstandings.”

You think he’s a little full of shit for saying so, because you wouldn’t have been in this position if he listened to you in July. But you refrain from telling him, because you’re going to talk to him tomorrow, and tomorrow only. When you’ll both be ready.

Tonight, you’re still going to cling to the fact that he cares.

He cares, and he hasn’t forgotten about you, or about the July night sky. No, he too still can see the stars that night.

And suddenly, you don’t fear tomorrow anymore.

*****

                Felix’s apartment is cozy in the morning light. But the absence of curtains in the living room windows has made it hard to sleep. You’re lucky you don’t have a class today. You usually do, a three-hour long class at 8 am, but the professor gave you a week off before the midterm next week. He’s still available for office hours, but you’ve had him before in another class. You know he’s not a strict grader. So you’re not going to make it to office hours, and you’ll try to catch up on more sleep before Felix and Jisung wake up.

It’s hard to fall back asleep though. Indeed, your thoughts have been clouded with Jungkook. With the anxiety that you can finally talk to him now, that he’s not hers, but that you don’t even know if you have something to tell him.

He was soft yesterday. Willing to help, wearing his heart on his sleeve the way you reckon he did it that July weekend. It reminds you that Jungkook has a heart of gold. It took you years before you saw it, but now it’s blinding you.

Jungkook would go to the ends of the Earth to help the people he cares about. And he cares about you. You, with the flaws that make the mosaic of you. You, who’s never been able to love, and now you think maybe you’ve loved all along.

Because what was that hate for him, if not misguided love? Immature feelings, maybe. Though you wouldn’t call it love. You wouldn’t dare say you love Jungkook. But you do feel for him. You feel for him the way you feel for the early morning. It’s filled with possibilities, with calm and serene moments. It doesn’t ask for anything but offers all. And maybe that’s how you’ve been feeling for him all along.

You sigh, turning so your back is to the window, trying to block out the rising sun so you can sleep some more. It does nothing to how your heart’s been acting up, but you still force yourself to lie in silence, to enjoy the feeling of infinity today carries.

You’ve dozed off a little by the time movement is heard in the apartment, and your eyes flutter open to look at the ceiling, as you’ve turned on your back. You yawn, stretching a little, before glancing to the side.

You let out a high-pitched squeal at the sight of the shirtless man that’s standing there, and he startles just as much as you, letting out a sound that rivals with the one you just made.

He’s not Felix, and he’s not Jisung. In reality, you have no idea who he is. You didn’t even know Felix has a roommate.

“Who are you?” the guy asks, and the first thing you notice is his accent.

“Jisung’s friend,” you reply as you sit up.

The man seems to realize he’s half naked, and he folds his arms on his chest. It makes his biceps pop out, and you reckon he’s quite the sight to see so early in the morning.

You have the decency to blush at the thought, and you look down at the floor.

“He and Felix offered to let me sleep here,” you add, worrying at your bottom lip. “I’m not going to stay.”

The guy shrugs. “Hey, it’s okay. Just was startled.” He laughs a little, before glancing in the direction of what you assume is the kitchen. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Uh,” you let out. “Yeah, sure.”

Turns out the guy is called Chris. The accent you’ve heard at first is the unmistakable Australian accent, and he informs you that he’s moved here with Felix for college. You end up eating breakfast along with him, because he’s decided to make protein pancakes. You’re surprised at how good they are, and you’re idly chatting at the kitchen table when Jisung enters.

He looks between you and Chris once, before saying, “You’ve got explanations about how you ended up at Jungkook’s place last night.”

He’s got a firm authoritative tone to his voice, and you recognize him for the older brother he is to you. You let out a shy laugh, before shrugging your shoulders.

“I already told you mom kicked me out.”

Chris’s eyes go wide as saucers as he looks at you, before his gaze dips down to his pancakes and he focuses on eating them.

“Yes, but Jungkook?”

Felix appears behind Jisung, brushing sleep out of his eyes. “Leave her alone, Han.”

Jisung glares at his boyfriend, before shrugging his shoulders. “I just think it’s weird because he’s got a girlfriend.”

“They broke up”, you say in a defensive tone.

Because it’s Jungkook you’re talking about, and you’d always defend him.

Jisung looks so surprised you almost start laughing. And it’s weird that you’re in a laughing mood – you were kicked out yesterday for God’s sake. But at the same time, it feels like you’ve reached the limit of your breaking, and the morning holds the possibility of healing.

The morning, and Jungkook, you reckon. Because you know healing starts with Jungkook. Healing starts with figuring out where it all went wrong, it starts with the conversation you’re supposed to have later.

Some place you also can study, hopefully, because you’ve got a midterm on Thursday.

“You’re fucking shitting me,” Jisung lets out as Felix starts pouring coffee for himself.

You shrug, feeling shy as everyone’s gaze moves to you. “They broke up on Sunday.”

“And you were over yesterday? Boy’s not wasting time.”

You furrow your brows. “It’s actually a coincidence that I ended up at his place. And Jiji’s fault.”

“Jiji? She hates his guts,” Jisung points out, still not fully believing you.

“She told him to go to the studio, he found me crying about getting kicked out and he offered me to spend the night before I figure out what to do.”

“That’s fair enough”, Felix says, interrupting Jisung who clearly was about to say something vile about Jungkook.

Jisung frowns, but he sighs and lets the expression go. He fully walks into the kitchen, helping himself to some of the pancakes Chris made. “He hurts you again I’ll fucking punch him.”

“Sungie,” you whine. “You’re the one that wanted me to tell him how I felt.”

“That was ages ago,” he reminds you. “I also told you to move on.”

“We’re going to talk today,” you admit.

There’s a heavy silence that follows your words. Jisung looks at you like you’re stupid, Chris seems like he wants to disappear, and Felix scrolls away on his phone as if he hasn’t heard.

“You ask me to come pick you up from his place in the middle of the night and then you say you’ll talk today?” Jisung eventually says, voice low.

It makes you feel stupid, and it makes you realize that maybe, maybe talking to Jungkook will lead nowhere.

Maybe you’re just going to offer each other closure before you truly move on. But you think you still deserve the closure, you still deserve the moving on. No matter how you might feel for Jungkook, some things truly are just not meant to be.

And this morning you think maybe that’s okay.

“I didn’t know yet that they were broken up,” you admit. “He didn’t want to drop it on me while I was crying because of my mother.”

“Valid,” Felix lets out, offering you salvation from Jisung’s wrath.

“Please,” Jisung scoffs. He seems to realize Jungkook might have actually done it right, because he adds, “Whatever. As I said, if he hurts you, he’s dead.” He’s frowning again, shaking his head. “And I can’t fucking believe your mother. My parents will give you a room at home if you want.”

The pain comes back now, but it’s different. Dull, as if Jungkook took its edges and softened them last night.

“Thank you.” You sigh, looking down at your plate, and you know you won’t be able to finish eating. “I’m going to get an apartment.”

It changes the subject to apartment hunting, and Jisung does his best to not appear too pissed whenever you mention that Jungkook will be helping you. Because even if all you give each other today is closure, you know Jungkook will still help.

You think you might know him better than you know yourself after all.

You follow Felix out when he says he needs to leave for college. You reckon sharing a Lyft might be a good idea, because you’re still on the other side of town. Felix agrees, though he admits he usually takes public transport to go to college. You shrug your shoulders, saying you’ll pay, and it’s halfway to your college that you realize something.

You realize you need to stop spending and to start saving money, if you want to be able to afford an apartment. And it makes you feel strange inside, like you might still have more that can break.

You cling to the feeling this morning holds. But some part of you is growing weary, dreary, because you get to college before Jungkook texts, and he told you he’d text you first thing in the morning. You don’t know his schedule though. You can’t assume his morning starts at the same time as yours do, so you try to stay calm and not let panic rise in you.

Felix walks with you on campus, until you part ways because he has to get to class. You decide you’re going to squat in the library, with your damn duffel bag and school bag you’ve been carrying around since yesterday. You find a spot in a corner, and you get busy studying, figuring it’s a better way to pass the time instead of looking at your phone expecting Jungkook to call you, to give you a sign of life.

You like studying. As much as law is a hard subject, it makes you feel connected to your father, somehow, and you like it. You like the highlighters and the lo-fi medieval beats and the books filled with laws and ethics and everything in between. You like being in a library, looking like you’ve got your shit together. You think that, to outside eyes, you probably look like you do. You can invent a life to yourself here, one where you haven’t been kicked out. One where you’re the pride of your family, and where you go skiing in the Alps once a year, taking pictures that you hang over the fireplace.

Not that you’re a big skier, and not that you’d go to the Alps anyway. You’d rather backpack around the world, discovering cultures unheard of before.

But sometimes, you do wish your family would have worked. You do wish your father never left, your mother never cheated. And sometimes, you do wonder who’s your biological dad.

Not that it’s important, and not that you will know one day. Your mother says she doesn’t even remember his name, and he was just a back-up dancer in a foreign country. Not someone that you’d ever have a chance of running into.

You sigh, turning the page of the book you’ve been reading. It’s about international law, your favourite subject, and your hardest class this semester. Professor Wickham is a bitch, and she loves failing people. Loves the look of pure distress people throw at her during exams, because she insists on being there while her students take her exams.

She’s a bitch, but she’s also renowned in the field, and you’ve been trying to make a good impression on her forever. Even though she refused you last semester when you tried getting an internship with her. Even though your summer internship still ended being great.

You run a hand through your hair, and you reach towards the reusable water bottle you always carry with you. Your hand stops halfway when your phone lights up next to you, and you grab it, heart beating wildly in your chest.

To your dismay, it isn’t Jungkook, but Jimin texting you.

[10:17 am] park.jm: jk wants me to tell you he’s an idiot [10:17 am] park.jm: he’s not able to unblock u. But he wants to know where u are🫥

You can’t hold in the smile that decides to grow on your lips.

[10:17 am] You: my college’s library. he can unblock me on insta and dm here..🙄

This time, you laugh a little when you see the next message you’ve received.

[10:18 am] jkonthebeat: i’m fkg dumb [10:18 am] jkonthebeat: is there a cafe near ur library? [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: haven’t eaten yet and figured it’d be great to talk over a cup of coffee? [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: if u still wanna talk [10:19 am] jkonthebeat: like i’d understand if u’d rather not? plz don’t feel like you have to [10:19 am] You: Jungkook [10:20 am] jkonthebeat: …what? [10:20 am] You: yes i still want to talk. i’ll send u the location of a chill place [10:21 am] jkonthebeat: okay, yeah good. i’ll be there as quickly as i can [10:23 am] You: shared location [10:26 am] jkonthebeat: eta 35 min😌

You can almost imagine Jungkook panicking on his side of the screen, and it makes you laugh a little more. Some guy throws you a look from the table where he’s sitting, and you offer him a wry smile before looking down at your international law book again. You still have a few pages to read in the chapter, so you decide to do that before meeting up with Jungkook.

It’s really hard to focus when you know his starry gaze is waiting for you. You eventually make it through, though it takes you so long you have to jog to the café to make it on time. You’re out of breath when you get there, and maybe a little sweaty, which you reckon might be disgusting. But Jungkook arrives almost right in time with you, hands digging in the pockets of his sweater pants. He looks like he came in his PJs, and you offer him a small smile when his eyes meet yours.

It’s an embrace, the same way the sun embraces the Earth every morning. It feels like you’d feel lying down in the morning sun rays, letting them warm your cold skin from the lightless night. It feels like you’re safe, like you’ve journeyed around the world only to return to the same spot that you’ll always return to.

He’s cataclysmic, he really is. Like he created you that night in July, the same way you know you’ve created him. In truth, you reckon the cataclysm might be you two together. As if the stars wrote the story decades ago, as if the universe knew your fate from its birth.

You expect it to hurt, but it doesn’t. It’s peaceful. You reckon you deserve a little bit of peace.

“Hey,” he greets you, and you wonder if you’re imagining the pink tint on his cheeks.

“Good morning.” You glance over your shoulder, at the door to the café, before meeting his soft gaze once more. “Do you want to go in?”

He nods, laughing a little. “I got to admit I’m starving.”

“Well, let’s get some food for you,” you say, and you turn.

You’re about to open the door when he grabs the duffel bag from you. “Let me carry that.”

“Oh,” you let out. “I don’t mind, I’m getting used to it.”

He just offers you a no-bullshit look that leaves no room for arguing, so you chuckle before opening the door. He follows you inside, and you choose a table in a quiet corner before you go to order something. You settle on an almond croissant while Jungkook gets a coffee and a cinnamon bun, along with a muffin that ‘looks too good to be left there’. You roll your eyes at his comment, but he just offers you a wink.

It’s the wink you once thought was cocky. It’s not cocky at all anymore today, just teasing.

You’re back at the table and halfway through your croissant when Jungkook says, “Thank you for accepting to meet up.”

It makes you anxious, because the time has come. No matter how much you want this conversation to happen, you can’t help but dread it too.

“Of course.”

He worries at his piercing, big doe eyes watching you carefully. You feel as if he’s gazing right at your soul, and maybe he is.

Maybe he’s been gazing at it since the very first day.

“I’m going to start by saying I’m sorry,” he says, with a shy insecure voice you’ve never heard from him before. “Not that it changes anything. I can’t imagine how it must have felt for you all this time.”

Straight to the point. For some reason, you expected him to talk about your mother. But maybe he believes the subject to be over, or he’s been wanting to talk to you for too long about what’s been troubling his heart.

“It…” you start but you don’t know how to say it. You don’t know which adjective to employ, because all of them feel like you’re just trying to guilt him. And though you do want him to feel guilt, you know you don’t have to impose it on him.

He’s doing it to himself already.

“It’s been really hard,” you choose to simply say, because it’s the truth. “The way you did a one-eighty in just a few days? Like…” you trail off because you don’t know where to go, but Jungkook’s listening, waiting for you to continue patiently as he surveys you with those big eyes of his. “Like I felt horrible. The moment I told you we shouldn’t have…”

That’s what you wanted to tell him in July. Strange to think that the words are coming out now.

“I don’t think I believed it. Maybe I wanted to believe it, because it was scary, but I never believed it. And I’m sorry I said that.”

He’s still playing with his piercing, and it takes him a while to digest your words. “I knew, if that can make you feel any better. Not that I think it’ll feel better. But you have to understand that it really hurt me. Like…” It’s his turn to look for words, and you anxiously wait for what’s to follow. “I’m not a perfect person. I try to be, and I’ve tried even harder after the accident. But when you said that, I felt ashamed. Like I’m just someone disgusting. And I focused on it so hard the only thing I could think to do was push you away.”

And he did it. So easily, as if you were nothing but some weed he was taking out from his burgeoning flowers.

It hurts, that same pain you’ve grown accustomed to over the last few months. You want to flee, to disappear, but you know you have to face your feelings. Ignoring them brought you nowhere good, didn’t it?

“Did it help you feel better?” you ask.

A crease appears between his brows, and you wish to reach between you so you can flatten it away. Needless to say, you resist the impulse, and hate yourself for having it in the first place.

“It did?” he admits, though he sounds unsure. “I can’t lie and say I didn’t get scared too. It was terrifying. But I think I knew before you did.”

“What?”

“I think the night after I told you about the accident?” he says like a question, waiting for you to nod before he continues. “It changed something for me. I couldn’t see you the same way that I saw you before.”

You remember the day after he told you. You were angry at him, because he ignored the text you sent him when you woke up. Mostly because you were embarrassed that you acted like you cared, and you reckon you already did too. It feels like a lifetime ago, and for a mere moment you wish you could be back there and tell yourself to stop being blind. It’d save you a heartbreak.

“Oh,” is all you can think to say.

“So then it all culminated when you looked like you regretted so much,” he adds. You think you see him gulp. “Not going to lie, it actually really hurt. And when I hurt, I tend to turn into a very ugly person.” At that he can’t hold your gaze anymore, and he chuckles bitterly as he shakes his head. “Ask Tae.”

“You weren’t an ugly person”, you gently say after he’s stared at his half-eaten cinnamon bun for a while. “I hurt you, and you tried to move on. No?”

He looks at you again then. “Yeah. But I think some part of me wanted to hurt you too. And…” His gaze lines with silver, and his words die on his mouth. It makes you feel like there’s lava in your blood again, and you shiver. “And I did hurt you. I saw you wasting away all those weeks. You looked… so sad. And nobody cared.”

You don’t think it’s true that nobody cared. But you think you understand what he’s trying to say: nobody cared the way that he did, nobody can care the way that he does. Or so you like to tell yourself.

“It wasn’t just you, if that can reassure you,” you admit, eyes falling to his coffee cup as he picks it up. He doesn’t move to drink, just holds it, maybe because he needs to busy his hands. “There was my mom, and then Jiho growing distant, and all that shit. The internship was great, but it was rough too.”

All of it is true, though you know it wouldn’t have felt as gut-wrenching if you didn’t have to watch Jungkook loving someone else coincidentally.

“Thank you for saying so.” He clears his throat, tries a glance your way but decides to let his gaze drop again. He shifts in his chair a little, before saying, “I understand why you didn’t come to dance practice most of the time. And honestly, I didn’t like that you weren’t there. I know it makes me selfish, but I… I wanted to see you? Because…” He gulps, and you watch a tear as it rolls down his cheek. “Because then I could at least know that you were okay?”

You shut your eyes, nodding slowly. “It was just too hard to see you.”

“I know.”

There’s a pause in the conversation, while both of you fight the emotions that are choking you up. You expected you’d get angry at him, but all you’re able to feel is longing, the kind of longing that aches and burns and crushes your heart.

“I was a dick for not listening to you that night after practice,” he says, slowly. You open your eyes to look at him, catching his eyes on you before they flit back to the table. “I knew exactly what you were going to say, and I couldn’t hear it. I think if we had had this conversation then, I would have hated you.”

It’s your turn to gulp. “Why?”

“Because it was too soon. I was still neck deep in the embarrassment, and in the selfishness. But I wish I didn’t have to break your heart for the embarrassment to go away.”

“You think the ending would have been worse if I had told you that night?”

You sound like you don’t believe it. Maybe because for weeks you’ve kept telling yourself that it would have made things better. It’s hard to accept that it could have made things worse.

“Oh, trust me,” he says, scoffing. “I would have been very ugly. Remember all the fights we used to have? They wouldn’t have compared.” He pulls at his piercing, hard, and you think it probably hurts, but he doesn’t look like he cares. “I was ready to hurt you. That’s why I left.”

There’s an untold sentence there, but you hear it nonetheless.

I knew I was already going to hurt you anyway.

And that he sure did. But you find it hard to be angry at him today. You do let a silence linger for a time, only because you feel like cursing and crying at the same time, and you don’t want either to happen.

It passes, with your gaze diverting to the street outside. You watch a woman walking her dog until she’s disappeared from view, and then your eyes move up to the blue sky. It’s strange how sunny it is, when you feel like a tiny storm is brewing between you and Jungkook.

“Were you happy with her?” you ask, eyes still on the world outside.

It takes a while for Jungkook to reply. “I don’t know, honestly. I wasn’t sad by her side, I won’t lie to you, but I don’t think I was happy.” He chuckles sadly. “In all truth, I think I was punishing myself by being with her.”

It makes you look at him again, and this time your gazes connect like long lost lovers hugging after years apart.

“Punishing yourself for what?”

“For all the bad things I told you, all the times I tried to get on your nerves on purpose.” He shrugs. “For the way I purposefully decided to break your heart, and how I tried to ignore the consequences at first.” He speaks with conviction now, like that’s really what he’s been wanting to say all along. “I knew that being with her was hurting me, and I believed I deserved it.”

“But why?”

“Because… I feel like we’re going in circles, so I won’t repeat all that I just said. But because of all of that,” he says, and there’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “All in all, I just was a fucking idiot.”

You can’t agree more, so you purse your lips and nod once. “That you were.”

He doesn’t even fake offence, just chuckles a little before taking a sip of coffee.

“Do you really want to help me with the apartment?” you ask, thoughtfully, eyes glazing a little as your mind runs miles away from him, to the place of hurt that being homeless at the moment is bringing to you.

“Yes,” he answers softly. “Not even because I want to redeem myself or anything. Like I said yesterday, I do care about you. And I wouldn’t let you go through a situation like this alone.”

You inhale shakily, blinking away the sudden tears. You won’t cry again.

“Okay.”

There’s another silence, only interrupted by the regular café sounds. You only then notice that there’s some music playing, but it’s so low you can barely make-out the song. It sounds like some indie artist you’ve heard once before, but it’s hard to tell.

“Do you think…” he starts, but he doesn’t finish. Instead, he eats a bite of cinnamon bun, as if he’s giving himself time to collect his thoughts. “Do you think we could be friends? Like… I don’t think I deserve your friendship, after everything that’s happened, but I’d forever be thankful if you still gave it to me.”

You don’t even hesitate before you say, “Of course, Jungkook.” You’re choking on tears again. “Of course we’re friends.”             

He’s crying too. “We can put it in the past?”

You bite at your lip to keep a sob in. “It might take some time, but yes, I think we can.”

“Fuck”, he curses, then he adds your name like it’s his favourite line from his favourite poem. He says it softly, carefully. “I am so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

He shakes his head, stubbornly blinking his tears away. “No, but like… this is all my fault. I think I’ve never fucked up so bad in my life.”

“Jungkook…”

“I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”

It sounds like a promise, with forever laced to it. And maybe that’s what you are to him, a forever he can’t bring himself to let go.

It’s what he is to you too. Because, for all that Jisung and your father said, you didn’t want to move on from Jungkook. Some part of you always believed you’d find your way back to him, and today, you know you weren’t wrong.

And you’d go through the pain all over again, for eternity, just to experience this moment with him right now. This new cataclysm, the one that creates instead of destroying. It creates a world between you, and you find yourself excited to explore it. Yes, the scars will stay, but scars make us who we are.

Scars mar Jungkook’s skin, mar your heart and his too. Scars are the reason why your heart started opening up in the first place, and scars are what makes you want to hold on to him today. They brought you to him, brought him to you, and the pain that they carry, like everything in life, doesn’t last.

No winter lasts forever, no night can stop the sun from shining when the morrow comes.

But you’re right. It’ll take a while before you’re able to fully forgive Jungkook. The look in his eyes tells you that he’ll be with you every step of the way. It tells you that he’d die for you, and maybe he already did. Maybe you both died for each other, and that’s what the scars truly tell. A story of a complicated love that destroys and creates.

The story of the cataclysm of you and him. The story of the forgotten spaces where you always met. Because Jungkook meets you, even in the darkest corners of your heart. He doesn’t balk from it, doesn’t fear the worst of you. And you’d meet him in the desert, in the dance your hearts share, the one his body can’t experience anymore, but his soul and yours know by heart.

Maybe he’s been your forgotten space all along, and you his.

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@whoa-jo | @pamzn | @sugaluvmyg | @kelsyx33 | @mafameal | @allisonstonex | @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs | @nadzzzblog | @bloopkook | @synnfulqt | @ggukiepie | @quarter-life-crisis2 | @amylouisecullen | @melodiesforari | @chimchimmarie | @jk-190811 | @notbotheredtho | @jjkluver7 | @chiefdreamercherryblossom