#you could say……ive gained insight

[realwizardshit]

It is really objectively funny to have Bloodborne as a Comfort Game. like yes the rather difficult souls game about:

the horrors of victorian england

the horrors of catholicism

just like, incredible cruelty and misery seeping from every corner of the world

classic lovecraft type eldritch horror

the grisliest parts of birth and motherhood (and many failed/monstrous children)

all this makes me go (: wee fun violence ! so cozy ❤️

[redr0sewrites]

I have been summoned :>

May I request Dabi fluffy hcs and maybe a story with a pro hero s/o PLS 🙏🙏

☕️ A/n: i kinda combined this into fluffy hcs w a pro reader s/o !! yippee !!

☕️ Cw: fluff, postwar mention, kinda silly n cute

☕️ top dividers/bottom divider

ohhhh hes pissed at you at first because ?? what right do you, a hero, have to be so intriguing and proud ??? what right do you have to spark such a raging passion in him??? what right do you have to treat him fairly and with kindness when so many others havent??? what right do you have to make his stomach flutter and to keep returning to his mind so often- oh.

Dabi is CONFLICTED at first- not only is he a villain, but what if you're just using him for information? it takes a while for him to trust you, but !! i want to keep this fluffy, so let's imagine that over time you gain his trust (and he gains yours)

if you're a powerful hero, he's definitely going to try to fight you just to test the limits of your quirk. if you're quirk naturally parries his, like say you have a water quirk??? ohhh you're in for trouble because he's lowkey harassing you just to see how your quirk works. i also think he'd find it really attractive if you have a quirk thats comparable to his in terms of power, i just think he'd find it intriguing how you not only challenge his ideology of heroes but also his power

Dabi definitely teases you a bit about your hero rank. not in a mean spirited way (at least not once you're dating), he just thinks it's cute how flustered you get when he mentions your ranking, whether it be super high or super low

causes you "his hero" as a joke, but over time it unironically becomes his nickname for you

watches the news whenever you're online, and when he sees you he always teases you about any villains you've defeated. "saw you defeated that rubber villain, hope that wasn't too much of a stretch for ya" and you're standing in your kitchen staring at him like 👁️👄👁️ "how'd you get in my apartment-"

if you have hero merch, Dabi buys it and teases you about it mercilessly. he's subtle at first, like he'll wear ome of your shirts beneath a hoodie and you only catch a glimpse of your logo, but over time he grows more bold until you enter his apartment and he has like. six posters of you on his wall

if he ever sees you working with ende*vor, ohhh he'll be so annoying about it. you wouldn't even know why, he's just slandering him mercilessly. if you agree with him though??? like if he's complaining about him and you're like "yea ive met him he's an asshole" Dabi's opinion of you goes wayy up

in a scenario where you're interacting with the league a lot, say your in a similar position as Hawks where you're doing spy work OR your actually defecting sides, i definitely think you'd interact with Dabi a lot more and while it may cause a conflict of interests, it might even bring you two closer as well. i think that both of you being on opposing sides could open both of yours' mindsets, and genuinely give Dabi insight that not all heroes are horrible and allow you to realize that most villains are just broken people.

i think in a postwar/rehabilitation scenario, you'd help him a lot in terms of giving him the grace and opportunity to be a good person. someone truly seeing how good he can be, seeing him as Touya and not Dabi, i think that would be incredibly inspiring to him and would make him realize that he's not unsalvageable.

i hope this isnt too bad !!! this was a really interesting req to write and i really enjoyed thinking about a possible plot where he does fall in love w a hero. i hope this wasn't to angsty, i tried to keep it fluffy bc that was the req, but if anyone wants me to do general hcs of dabi w a pro hero s/o or a more analysis-y angsty version id gladly do so !!

[rosewine-5]

Eyes Never Lie: Part IV

gif made by nowadays

summary: Being friends with Coriolanus for a long time lets you what drives him to succeed and survive. You've also gained the insight to guess how he's feeling or what he's about to say just by the expression on his face. But only things that you could never decipher were the thoughts behind his eyes.

A.N: I’m not dead! Had a health emergency so that's why this is late (don't hate me), but part 4 is finally here!

word count: 4.9k

divider made by firefly-graphics

Felix Ravinstill was dead.

You went by the hospital to check on him, only to hear his ventilator sound off the time of his death, sunrise on the last day of the 11th Hunger Games. You watched from a distance as his mother and father held themselves as they cried over the loss of their son, and you walked away, saddened by the death of a friend; the death toll of dead or scarred friends now rising to 3.

These were friends you had known since childhood, people you had grown up together with, people who are now dead and scarred, lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. You were walking out of the room when you were suddenly pushed into a bathroom. Your hand grabbed the sleeve of the person and pulled them off of you. You were met with yellow eyes, black hair, and a long turtleneck shirt. Your mouth fell open as you recognized the person who pulled you into the room.

“Clemmie?” you whispered and wrapped your arms around her. She hugged you back as you let a tear fall. “Why won't you visit me?” she asked, her tone having an angry edge to it. “Gaul told us you had an infectious flu.” You said, looking at her sickly appearance. “She's a liar, that snake changed me. I haven't gotten anyone sick.” she seethed, and you noticed she would hiss as her tongue would twitch with her body. Her eyes then scanned you, “You need to stay away from her, she's gonna get you killed, she already wants me dead.”

She then added to her sentence, “Don’t let her poison get to you, she wants us to be like her test!” Clemensia started to hiss as she held your arms, prompting the hospital staff to open the door, catching you two. One of them grabbed, holding one of her arms tight as another did the same.

“Watch! Her games are gonna get us all a free ticket to the next life!” Clemensia yelled before a staffer pricked her with a needle, and she went limp. Before she was dragged into another room, her shirt rode up, revealing the bottom of her torso, and a batch of scales festering in the middle.

The walk to the academy made your mind race. Your thoughts drifted to Lucy Gray, who was hopefully still alive. She has a low chance of making it out alive, that you knew. She could charm a crowd bit when it came to physical strength… yeah. Walking into the lab, you made yourself a promise: If there was any way you could help her in the games, rules be damned, you would do it. Gual was already waiting for you.

“take it you know about Ravinstill’s son?” She asked, to which you nodded in response. “Death, a certain subject you’ve become friends with these last few days.” Dr. Gaul said before leading you to a stack of cages, starting a long day of learning about her creations and how they were made.

You caught glimpses of the games, only seeing the death of Lucy’s fellow tribute, Jessup, another innocent life claimed by the games. While you were writing in your notepad, you heard a scream on the screen that broke your focus. Reaper was holding Dill in his arms, blood streaming out of her nose. She was dead. “Her illness finally took over.” you said to yourself, noticing Gaul’s eyes glued to the screen, a curious look on her face. In a turn of events, starts to line the dead tributes up in a line. This broke your focus, making you look at what he was doing.

The most shocking part came when he tore the capitol flag down from the arena, making you stand up. As he laid the flag over the fallen tributes, Sejanus’ words came into your mind. They didn't deserve this. In the corner of your eye, you saw Dr. Gaul go to a desk in front of a camera. “Start the broadcast.” She said to one of her other assistants. Reaper's words were soon cut off by Dr. Gaul.

“Capitol citizens, I’m afraid I must interrupt our Games to announce a tragic loss, one that affects us all. Felix Ravinstill, son of our beloved president, has this morning succumbed to his injuries sustained in the rebel bombing.” A few of the lab assistants gasped at the news as you turned towards Gaul, watching her break the news to Panem.

“Out there in the districts, they will be celebrating this young boy’s death as a triumph. I will not allow my Games to give our enemy such a victory. I swear to you, here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there’s to be no victor in these Games.” And with that, she cut the feed.

Your mouth fell open, “You did that to cut the tribute off.” She looked at you with a cold stare, “Just one more rebel to kill.” You saw the lab assistants start to cage up the snakes, and you watched the colorful creatures of death go into a cylinder and be pushed outside, you turned and saw Coriolanus walking towards you. He was looking between you and the tank, a concerned look on his face.

He was holding his handkerchief in his hand and put it in your hand. “It holds her scent, please.” Coriolanus begged. The memory of Dr. Gaul making you retrieve the paper came back to you: the snakes didn't bite you, so they won't harm Lucy Gray. You nodded and walked to the tank, sliding it between the slot in just as it was lifted off. He gave you a grateful smile as he walked off. You walked out and saw Dr. Gaul with her back turned to you, laughing to herself, “Go watch the finale, my rose,” she said, now turning to you, “Say your silent goodbyes to your friend.”

You speedwalked into the room, finding Tigris, and sat next to her. She gripped your hand as your eyes were glued to the screen, praying the handkerchief trick worked. You watched as the youngest tribute, Wovey, walked towards the tank, not knowing it would be the last thing she saw. Soon the snakes broke the tank, and covered Wovey, charging towards the tributes.

“Not candy! Down goes Wovey.” Lucky Flickerman said and continued to announce the death of all the tributes until it all got to Lucy. You looked between the screen and Coriolanus. The snakes weren’t charging towards her, now slowly creeping. “It worked.” You said to yourself, letting out a sigh of relief. “She’s won, let her out.” Corio said. “Afraid that’s not your call to make, Mr. Snow.” Lucky Flickerman said and nodded to Dr. Gaul.

You suddenly heard Lucy start to sing, trying to calm the snakes. The way her voice took the room over, you could only imagine what her voice was doing to the other viewers. Between the snakes wrapping around her dress and her powerful voice, tears started to form in your eyes. By the end of her song, you could only hear the sound of her humming and your breath. Coriolanus now turned to Dr. Gaul, “Dr. Gaul, please, get her out.” He shouted. Tigris and you shared a brief look before you both yelled “Get her out!”

Soon the room started to fill with the refrain “Let her out” while looking at Dr. Gaul. She raised her hand, silencing the students who waiting for her answer. With a pointed look at you, she turned to a person next to her and said, “Let her out.” You didn't even hear Flickerman’s words as you hugged Tigris and she held you. Your classmates began to walk towards Coriolanus while you stayed by Tigris. “The games are as I predicted!” Lucky Flickerman shouted, tearing up his paper and releasing doves from his hands.

Amateur magician my ass.

Eventually, he broke through the crowd and found you two in the middle of the group, Tigris coming up and holding him first. After a moment, he came to you and you enveloped him into a hug. “You did it.” you whispered to him, feeling his hands squeeze you. The games were over, Coriolanus had won, and all would be well.

That afternoon, you were finishing up writing down notes of formulas Dr. Gaul assigned to you when Dean Highbottom walked in, “I assume your friend is ecstatic he won the games, as he should be.” You turned to him, taking in his tone of speech. “I find it strange, this relationship between you and Snow,” he said, “coming so close while only meeting in the Academy even though you both grew up close together, did you not?” You nodded in response, “We had mutual friends, we knew about each other, but didn't cross paths until the first day.”

“It’s been nice seeing you two help each other as best you could these years,” Highbottom said, “but I’m afraid it's come to an end, dear one.” For a second you couldn't speak, but you leaned forward. “It appears your friend slipped his songbird a compact mirror full of rat poison, assisting the kills of that sickly tribute as well as another,” Dean Highbottom said, making your blood run cold, “And a handkerchief with his father’s initials was found in the bottom of the snake bin, saving his tributes life in the end.”

You covered your mouth and cursed, “Goddamit Coryo.” you whispered to yourself, but you pulled yourself together. “So now what happens to the prize, who wins?” you asked, looking him in the eyes. “Well, as I said, cheating will be punished. Being a peacekeeper will be one suited for him I assume. As for the winner of the Hunger Games, I'm still deciding on that one.” he said, standing beside you. “In some ways, I say the viewers for having a show. In other ways, I say his songbird is a winner, she gets to live after all. But I would also say you as well.” Highbottom stated.

Now you were confused, “How do I win?” He shrugged, “You got the experience of the games, up close and personal. You, a capitol student, are now an apprentice to the Gamemaker of the Hunger Games, a survivor of a capitol bombing, and top of your class, why aren't you anything but a victor of these games?” Dean Highbottom asked. “Come on, you didn't think the public forgot your little act in the zoo already, apprentice? You made a little name for yourself without even realizing it,” He chuckled as he looked up at you, “I congratulate you.”

“For what?” you asked, looking at him. “Surviving Snow, and his games.” Highbottom said, looking past you and at Dr. Gaul who entered the room. “Why would I have to survive him?” you asked, but he shook his head. “Later, apprentice, your teacher calls.” he said, and walked out the same way he came. Dr. Gaul approached while carrying a clipboard, a teasing smirk on her face, “Death’s resounding bell tolls once more, the number of friends lost rises to four.” She then looked up, “One last thing, the snakes are getting a bit much for the rest of my assistants, help them out for me.”

You had gotten used to her random “side quest” as you called them, so you went out of the door, missing the cold and hard stare she gave you. When you approached the arena, you looked for the rest of the people.

Why was the arena empty?

That was when you heard it, the slither of snakes coming from all corners of the arena. “No…” you said to yourself, seeing snakes come from all the crevices of the arenas. You let out a scream and backed into a barrier. You began to climb the debris, ironically ending up in the same area Lucy Gray did. As the snakes wrapped around your legs, you held your breath, knowing it would be your last. You kneeled on the ground, letting your last moments of life looking at the sunset. Surprisingly, they only wrapped around your body but made no effort to harm you.

You kneeled there and watched as they swarmed your body, making a rainbow blanket over your body. For some reason, you laughed at the revelation of the handkerchief not only saving Lucy Gray but you as well. “I had a feeling my theory was correct.” You heard the voice of Dr. Gaul say. You looked at the camera pointing at you and sighed, “You knew I helped?” “I had a hunch, little rose, and I’m usually right about a lot of things.” She chuckled. “So now what, you gonna turn me over to Highbottom, turn me into an Avox?” You seethed, now having a rush of anger. “And let the newest gem of Panem go to waste, I’m not that cruel. The fact loverboy is going to the districts as a peacekeeper is punishment enough for you.” Dr. Gaul chuckled.

“No child, you shall go to 12, have a little vacation away from home.” She said as you slowly stood up, the snakes still all around you. “And do what, just stay there spinning the story to have me a permanent resident for cheating?” You shouted, looking at the camera. “No, you shall adapt. Pack a simple bag.” Dr. Gaul said, “And you shall see how blessed you were to prosper and grow in the Capitol, not in the districts like the snake you saved.” And fine the camera’s red light turned off. You sighed and slowly walked out of the arena, the snakes, surprisingly letting you move. You walked home as if you were marching in a funeral procession.

You hit the bed cried yourself to sleep, and packed your bag in the morning. Dr. Gaul made up the perfect fabricated story to your parents, and you didn’t protest, the fear of her ratting you out shutting you up. You got dressed, put your jacket on and you were on a train to the districts that early morning. The train ride might as well have been one to hell. With each tree going past you was only a reminder of being far away from home. You held your necklace in your hand, watching the greenery of the land pass you by.

When the train stopped, your face contoured into one of emptiness, the reality of your situation setting in. You were alone. No parents to vouch for you. No Sejanus to make you laugh and comfort you. No Coriolanus, you had to stop thinking about his situation to keep yourself from crying. As you held your bag tightly a dressed officer walked forward. “Gual’s student?” He asked you, to which you nodded in reply. “Welcome to District 12, this way.” He helped you into the back of a vehicle and sat in front of you.

“You’ll be shadowing and assisting the scientist in the laboratory. You have the freedom to explore, you’ll be here for a while.” He said, watching the coal miners pass you all by. “What is there to do?” You asked, looking at the buildings. The officer nodded, “There’s the Hob, group that calls themselves the Covey performs there.” Your eyes met his at the mention of “covey.” Lucy Gray was covey, so she would be here. “When do they perform?” you asked.

“I'm not sure, but hopefully soon.” he said as the car stopped in front of a building. You were coached throughout the day about the jabberjays, as well as what they were made for. Only in the late afternoon did you finally catch a break. Your hands ached from the pecks and bites of the jabberjays. You walked through the streets, hands in your pocket, taking in District 12. Birds were flying around, peacekeepers walking the streets, and someone calling your name.

Wait…

You froze and turned around, seeing a blonde girl looking at you, behind her was Lucy Gray. She immediately ran towards you and enveloped you in a hug. “You’re here,” She said, looking you up and down, “Why are you here?” “Gaul figured out I helped Coriolanus cheat during the games.” You said, and she came to a realization. “The snakes, that was you?” Lucy Gray asked, you nodded “yes.” She then hugged you once more, tighter this time than the last. You hugged her back as she asked, “What happened to Coriolanus?” Your breath hitched, and then you let it out, “He has to serve as a peacekeeper for his wrongdoings.” Her hands rubbed your shoulders, “How long does he have to serve?” You shook your head, trying not to cry, “I don’t know.” Your voice came out weak, your emotion taking over your voice.

“I’m so sorry-.” “Lucy Gray!” A voice yelled. Her expression immediately fell. “Piss off Billy!” The blonde girl who was with Lucy yelled. “Nobody’s talking to you, Ivory!” Billy yelled at the girl. “This was Maude Ivory” you realized, slowly breaking out of your trance. “Why don't you go torture another poor girl.” You shouted. Now his gaze turned to you.

“And who might you be?” Billy asked, looking you up and down. Well, shit. You didn't want people to find out you'd been sent here, lord knows how the district feels about the capitol. So you put on your best smile and sarcastic tone, “Calanthe Hemlock, and I'm so glad to meet such a waste of air like yourself.” Billy purses his lips before looking at Lucy again, “This conversation ain't over.” You three watched as he walked off before Maude Ivory looked at you, “Calanthe Hemlock huh? Where’d that name come from?” She asked. “The name “Calanthe” came from a close friend.” you explained, not missing the sorrowful look Lucy gave you. “Hemlock is one of my favorite shades of green.” You said and leaned on the building close to you.

“How long will you be here?” Lucy Gray asked, looking you in your eyes, Maude Ivory following the same movement. “I don’t know, could be weeks, could be months.” You said. Her face slows turned into a smile as she looked at Maude Ivory. “What’s that face for?” You asked. “This hell is gonna turn into a vacation.” Lucy said, sliding her arm on your back and walking you deeper into town. “You won’t have to live in your Capitol dollhouse, you can just be you.” Lucy Gray said, holding your hand and squeezing it. “Calanthe Hemlock, resident of District 12. No one knows your name, or your past, all they know is that you’re my friend.” She said.

As you watched the sunset over the trees your face slowly broke out into a smile. Calanthe Hemlock just stepped into the streets of District 12, and she was gonna have the time of her life while she had the time. The first week you still had your walls up, nervous about being alone in a new environment for the first time. By the second week, you were hanging out with Lucy every day, and by the third week, you almost forgot your birth-given name.

When Lucy Gray & Maude Ivory introduced you to their family in the Covey several weeks later, you wouldn't lie and say you were nervous. Those nerves were soon soothed by their kindness and acceptance of you. Turns out that risking your entire future for a friend ends up giving you more of them. They walked you through the woods until they came to a lake, and all rushed to jump in, all except Lucy Gray, who was watching you.

“What's wrong, Calanthe?” she asked. “I haven’t gone swimming in a while.” you said as you took your dress off. Lucy smiled softly, “Jump in or I'll shove you in myself.” She was gone in a second, jumping over the dock and into the waters. You sighed, “When in 12.” You said to yourself and ran down the dock, jumped up, and let the water cover you.

When the water ran out of your ears, The cheers of the covey filled them, chanting your name. You spent the afternoon swimming. When you all took a break, Luxy sat beside you in the grass. “I never got the chance to ask you, now did they find out you helped me?” Lucy Gray asked.

For a second, you were back in the area, the snakes slithering up your body and over your throat. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “Dr. Gaul, the game maker, told me I was helping the other lab assistants gather the snakes out of the arena. When I walked in I was the only one there, and the snakes swarmed me a minute later.”

Lucy Gray’s mouth fell open and closed before finally closing completely, “You know she’s an absolute nutjob right?” You nodded in response, looking out at the water. “Well, stand up. You're going out tonight.” Lucy said, grabbing your hands, and making you stand. “Where are we going?” you asked, letting her walk you down the trail. “You, Hemlock, are joining us in the Hob tonight.” Maude Ivory said, looking up at you.

You scoffed, “I didn't know I was the guest of honor.” “We’re playing tonight,” Barb Azure said, looking back at you, “and you’re dancing tonight.” You laughed, “I don’t have a choice, do I?” You asked, already knowing the answer. “Nope, now go on and kill some time, we’ll be looking out for ya.” Tam Amber said, giving you a playful wink as they walked ahead of you.

When the night was setting you took a quick shower and changed into a dress you packed and walked to the Hob. The dance was already in full swing, boots stomping on the floor and loud chatter filling the air.

A smile found its way upon your face, the change of scene is a complete 180 of the dancing you were used to, yet somehow more entertaining to see. Soon you were pulled into a dance, losing track of time and the worries being capitol fell away.

When the music stopped, you found yourself in the front, looking up at Maude Ivory. “Is it hot in here?” she yelled, you and the crowd yelling “yeah” in response. “Cause we’re plannin’ on heating it up a bet more. The one, the only, Lucy Gray Baird!” she shouted, and Lucy Gray came onto the stage. As she gave her small speech, she was given a bottle, you caught her gaze and she smiled.

“Everybody!” Lucy Gray suddenly yelled, to which the crowd responded, “Yeah!” “I'd like to give a special shoutout to my dear friend, someone who pioneered for my victory throughout the games. My dear friend Clanathe Hemlock!” She yelled, pulling you up on stage, the applause and whistles drowning out your nervous giggles. “Safe to say she's happy I survived.” Lucy Gray said, letting you back down. “Now, how about a song, huh?” Lucy Gray asked, and the music queued her in.

As soon as she started singing, you recognized the lyrics. It was the same song she sang at the reaping, but it sounded a whole lot better with the band. You then noticed she froze up on a lyrics and stopped dancing to follow her gaze, but you couldn't see who she was looking at. You did manage to see the smirk she gave shot you. That was when Billy waste of air Taupe broke through the crowd.

You turned and saw Billy Taupe shove a peacekeeper before getting shoved on his ass. You covered your mouth to laugh but that hand shot out to keep yourself between him and Lucy Gray. “Leave the girl alone, Taupe!” you yelled. His eyes met yours and all of a sudden you felt his hand slap the hell out of you, sending you back onto the stage.

The slap damn near knocked you out, but you got back up just in time to see a peacekeeper with blonde hair rush towards him, shouting “Don’t touch her.” You stood up and looked at the peacekeepers, and your eyes filled with tears as you recognized his eyes. Coriolanus was the one knocking the hell out of Billy Taupe. “Coryo stop!” you heard another familiar voice yell. “Nah get off me!” Coriolanus yelled, getting dragged away by Sejnaus. Why are you here? You watched Coriolanus look you in the eyes as your face broke into the biggest smile you ever smiled in your life.

You turned to Lucy Gray as she smiled back at you, “Well look who's here.” “You saw him when you stopped singing.” you said, putting two and two together. Her hand went to your cheek and sighed, ”Try and clean that up some, ‘Lanthe, don't want this on your record.” You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, before I make you my next test subject.” You joked. “Ya love me too much to do that.” Lucy Gray yelled as you walked away. “Unfortunately!” you shouted back, blowing her a kiss as you walked back to your barracks.

The next day the slap mark went down, but it still stung like hell. Pulling on your long sleeved dress and boots, you walked to the lunch hall. You heard from the other trainees you had the day off and immediately went to find Lucy. When you walked through town, you heard your name being called and saw Sejanus running towards you. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a laugh, “What are you doing here!” “Once I found out where Coryo was going, I followed close behind. I wasn't expecting you to be here.” Sejanus said.

Your hand ran over his hair, and you pouted. “I’m gonna miss your hair.” You said, making him chuckle. “Coriolanus was looking for you earlier,” Sejanus said, making your eyes widen. His eyes took in your expression, and he smiled softly. “You don't know how loved you are, Calanthe.” He said, smoothing out your hair before sighing. “It's nice to get away from the capitol, isn't it?” you asked, Sejanus nodding “yes” in response.

His gaze soon went behind you, and he rubbed your shoulders, “I gotta go, I’ll catch up with you later.” Sejanus gave you a short smile and then walked off. You sighed, wondering who he went to talk to as you walked around. The grass hitting the skirt of your dress. You saw a familiar figure walking through the grass and your heart jumped. Before you knew it, you broke out in a run towards him. “Coryo!” you yelled, a smile breaking your face open.

He turned and mirrored your smile, walking towards you as well. You opened your arms to bring him into a hug, which he was pulled into the second you got to him. His arms held you to his chest, so close you could almost hear his heartbeat. For the first few minutes, neither of you said a word. It wasn't until he broke the silence, “Why are you here?” Coriolanis asked. “Gaul found out I helped you, and I was sent to 12 the next day.” You saw his face flash from anger to confusion to worry.

“Your parents don't know the truth, do they?” He asked, making you shake your head “No”. Coriolanus then sighed, “It's nice to know you're here.” His eyes went to yours, to your lips, to your necklace, and then right back to your lips. “No capitol. Dr. Gaul can't control us.” He whispered, leaning towards you. His nose brushed yours, making you stand still. “We’re free, Calanthe, for once.” Coriolanus added.

You had gotten used to being called by that name, but nothing could ever beat the name coming from his lips. You hadn't realized how close he was to your face until his breath hit your lips. Looking up at him, your hands found the back of his head, and then his cheek, before resting on it. He closed his eyes for a second, soaking in the comfort of your touch. “When I was on the train, I almost wanted them to shoot me.” he said, now opening his eyes. “Why, Coryo?” you asked.

“I’d rather go through the games as a tribute than stay away from you.” He whispered, making a tear fall down your face. His hand came to wipe it away with his thumb, but his hand remained on your face. You didn't know when, but the moment changed with a soft gust of wind. Like magnets, your lips found each other in a passionate kiss. Bottled-up emotions come forth to be put into the moment. His hands went down to your waist pulling you to him and holding you there.

You wrapped one arm around his neck and one on his cheek deepening the kiss, making him chuckle. He didn't verbally respond, but he kept kissing you like he would never see you again, and you weren’t complaining. All memories of the games, you being sent to 12 faded away with every second of his kisses. This was all that mattered now.

Coriolanus Snow was here. Dr. Gaul and her meddlesome ways weren't. And right now you were kissing the boy you loved in a field of flowers; what more could you want? If Dr. Gaul wanted you to adapt, you would do as she asked: After you lived a little.

[pinazee]

Bounty Hunters!

I just find it so adorable when a kid has bright ass food stains on them. Its like the essence of childhood or something more poetic haha also, this might sound insane, but this is the first ep i could feel that shawn and gus had been friends since childhood. Possibly because they’re nearly wearing the exact same shirts and at the same steps so the parallel is a lot more obvious. Like it just clicked in my brain or something.

I just really liked this shot. That is all.

Shout out to James and Dulés’ stunt double

This is one of those times i don’t envy actors. This looks so uncomfortable. Also, i can’t decide if it’s naivety or arrogance that Shawn would think he could go into this bar and be okay?? I guess you can assume that Shawn knew Tancana would stop them before they caused any serious damage but that one guy was about to hit him with a chain, and its one thing to go into this on your own, its another to bring your friend with you.

A+ scene work from Corbin Bernsen here lol

This is what I do to get my dog to stop eating her toys. Doesn’t work with her either.

One of the few times Shawn kind of loses it with Gus and has to recollect himself haha. Like he’s been frustrated sure, but he usually applies some sort of manipulation. But i really like this scene because usually its Gus thats frustrated with Shawns behavior.

Sidenote: about the super sniffer. I don’t think its that he can smell things others can’t, because Shawn usually points it out and can recognize it, i think the super sniffer is that Gus can break the smell down and put a name to it. Like the gardenias in the perfume, the ginger blossoms in the kangaroo paste. Shawn just knows its kangaroo paste. Idk, i had to think about it at least haha

What a goof. But also, ive started watching Gus while shawns doing his breakdowns and he’s like miming beside him haha if i see it in a later ep i’ll gif it.

Its kind of insane that Bird hands over Tancana and this supposedly alleviates Juliets guilt? Like i get the line she says we all make mistakes as a way of saying Juliet’s forgiven herself, but um, she didn’t really do anything. I wish instead they would have had Shawn notify the cops where he’d be, have lassie ignore him per usual, but let juliet take off on her own (against orders) and save them from bird that way (possibly at the parking garage). This way we can see that she can still rely on her gut and it isn’t handed to her by shawn, kind of like the If You’re So Smart ep, when he solved her case and its somehow a win for her. Its still a sweet gesture that Shawn was cool semi-risking his life (and gus’s for that matter) so she can “save” them and get her good reputation back, even if it doesn’t quite make sense haha

The near kiss was perfection! I think a full kiss would have been too soon, particularly because Juliet was pretty vulnerable just then and it wouldn’t feel right. But the fact that it made juliet nervous enough to start dismantling her gun like she’d been doing all day- fantastic way to gain insight into to her mind and give us the audience hope that the ship would exist. She seems pretty conflicted about him (i think mainly because she doesn’t date coworkers?). I mean, from her perspective, she only know him as immature, irresponsible to a degree, who relentlessly flirts, BUT at the same time is incredibly kind and fun. I would have some hesitation too. Being kind and fun will only get you so far, in my book at least. I also need someone i can rely on to do the boring grown up stuff so im not solely responsible and Shawn just doesn’t come across as someone who can do that (yet). And not to spoil it, but in the bank robbery ep, we learn Juliet likes them mature.

okay. I don’t think this is going to be a popular opinion (just to prepare you mentally) cause i believe everyone loves this scene, and don’t get me wrong i love it too, i just think it doesn’t quite fit in the ep? Like i know shawn was flirty with jules the whole time, and he’s trying to impress her, but it was always jokey and they didn’t really have a solid heart to heart moment, and it pulls away from what Juliet was going through. I think if he’d consoled her a bit, let her know that a mistake is inevitable and assuming that she wouldn’t make any was setting her up to fail, that she was still the smartest, and bravest cop on the force and she should remember that the next time that voice in her head says differently, then he could maybe go for the kiss. Maybe. I think I would’ve preferred it if he’d just consoled her and she was the one who went to kiss him but changed her mind at the last second and thats how we get close talking. Because she wants to kiss him, but at the end of the day she’s pragmatic.

(I just want to quickly add that i by no means think i can write these better. This is just fun for me to put my own little spin on it. I also know other factors go into making a show (time, budget etc) so there are things writers wanted to include that would have improved their eps but said factors forced them to make changes. I don’t want these little opinionated changes i’d make to come across as mean spirited or arrogant. They’re more like responses to a writing prompt if that makes sense.)

[pikahlua]

hello pika! first off, i just want to say a huge thank you for posting your fan translations! ive always found them super fun & enlightening. i feel i have a much better understanding of mha as a whole thanks to your insights, plus gained a whole lot of cool info about japanese & linguistics overall, so again, a lot of gratitude for doing what you do!

i have a question for you about one of the words/phrases used in 431—specifically, the word izuku uses to turn down bakugou: "ごめんはいらない / gomen hairanai". You chose to translate this as "Sorry, I won't join". Out of my own curiosity & tryna get a better understanding of the scene, I threw the original kanji into google translate and it gave me "I don't need sorry".

I was wondering if there's any additional insight you could give into that specific word? Any nuance/context I might be missing that would explain the difference, or if that's just google being google lol. (Without falling too far into my own interpretation of the scene, I'm wondering if that "I don't need" bit could help hint at Izuku's reasoning for turning down Bakugou's offer—it's not just that he wouldn't quit teaching to go pro full-time, he feels he doesn't need to.)

Either way, always appreciate hearing about your process. Thanks for your time!

The translator app you used broke. It read the sentence as "gomen wa iranai" and spat out "I don't need sorry" (this is a weird issue with the は kana that can be used as a common particle of speech).

Hairanai is the negative form of hairu (入る). That's the verb you want. It's the intransitive verb version of ireru, which means "to put in." So ireru is used for a subject putting an object into a target, and hairu is used for the subject "adding themself" to the target. Hence, Izuku is saying he will not join Katsuki's agency (as a sidekick).

Sorry, it kinda puts a damper on your interpretation, but I would argue there may be other things in the scene that you COULD feasibly construe towards your interpretation anyways. I hope that helps!

[angycryptid]

this is a little bit of a vent post but also a call for help/resources, so please dont hesitate to respond, esp if you have a cluster A disorder

I think that i might have a cluster A personality disorder, and ive been researching on my own to try and figure out what (some medical websites, reading the dsm requirements, skimming through related tags on tumblr to gain insight on personal experiences, etc.)

I find it really hard to look for resources on specific experiences and how forms of it can present differently, along with information about co-morbidities (I have autism and GAD), especially with the fact that most of the traits (esp in medical works) are more external and dont mention internal experiences. (a lot of the traits ive noticed in myself are very internal [for example when i was in 6th grade i wholeheartedly thought i was going to present rabies symptoms and die due to a cat scratch for roughly 4-6 months and I still would not tell anyone, and as far as i can tell i seemed completely normal from the outside] so I dont even know if I could figure out whether I have one or multiple of these unless I knew about internal experiences and alternate presentations)

I really only started thinking about this bc i had a pretty bad panic attack caused by paranoia a little over 2 months ago, and, combined with reflecting upon other experiences, I realized that the paranoid tendencies/thoughts that i was experiencing were a lot worse than i thought, and i wasn't even sure that it was possible for those to be fully explained by a combo of autism and GAD, so i started looking into PPD and later cluster A disorders as a whole, but I had a hard time finding good resources and it doesn't help that a lot of sources constantly say that people with personality disorders cant actually realize that they may have them.

also side rant, as an aro person, it pisses me off so much that one of the diagnostic criteria for PPD is directly tied to partner infedelity bc like, I genuinely dont know whether or not i would be paranoid about that bc the thought of myself in a romantic relationship makes me generally uncomfy. (if being paranoid that your friends seceretly have a crush on you and are waiting for the right time to tell you bc they think that they'll be the one to change you is hittting the underlying point of the criteria then i got that shit in the bag)

anyhoo, if youve read this far, thank you for listening to me ramble and you deserve your favorite candy bar and a hug/highfive/handshake/frendly wave/whatever other form of affection you're comfy with.

[narwhalandchill]

Hello! I saw you mention Childe in labyrinth warriors (hope that’s the right name) when talking about the 4.6 appearance, can I ask you about your thoughts on him there? I didn’t get to play that event- so what I know about it is spotty at best. Just that it’s in Inazuma, had Xinyan I think? And that Childe was there. And the little paper dude. I’m genuinely curious about what insights you gained from the event into his character- and I’d love to hear you talk about Childe more.

(can you believe. when i say. now that im finishing this up. that it got out of hand anon??? uhhhhhhhhhhhh. i mean. at this point this should be expected)

hi!!!! sorry this took a bit, ive been somewhat sick all week and also just now absorbed by the nuzlocke im doing but Anyway. am here now thank you sm for the ask and enabling childe thoughts!!!!!

. readmore bc this Actually got just. unbearably long otherwise JIWDJDWJKDJKWWJDK 😭😭😭😭

so the outline is basically as u said, but like. to summarize it w some particular details mentioned since they Do matter (sorry it got giga fucking long bc i think the full context is helpful for discussing childes parts too lmao). but here goes:

so a mysterious domain has appeared out of thin air on narukami island with monsters spewing out from within into the countryside. now this is an Issue (TM) bc timeline-wise this is still v much the immediate aftermath of the inazuma AQ and the civil war - the nation & esp the tenryo commission rly isnt in ideal shape resource and manpower wise to deal w another crisis like this and it has sara rightfully tense after the initial waves of the monsters were finally forced back. she kinda cant afford to send her men to scout inside the domain (it also kinda. opens and closes and reopens at random which is another issue for potential scouts) but if nothing is done to stop the monsters she must commit to a full on assault to destroy the domain to remove the threat & shes more or less on a timer with that. making it quite the precarious situation for her politically too and not just security wise. (keep this in mind)

how we end up being asked to investigate the place has to do w the. im ngl p convoluted xinyan b plot basically she was invited to a music festival as a performer but it was cancelled so now she lacks the travel permits she needs and getting new ones is Not fast without some inside help. we agree to look for sara so she could argue xinyans case, run into her dilemma w the domain and she agrees to expedit the process if we investigate the place in her forces' stead. (xinyan the civilian tags along for some reason too)

first time u go in, u find the paper dude (kind of an enchanted paper familiar of sorts) aka shiki taishou outside who has lost his memory yet is undoubtedly connected to the domain which is obviously a bit suspicious given the whole. monster spewing into the neighborhood deal. but idk she passes xinyans music vibe check so she argues we should help him recover his memories and in turn discover the truth of the domain along the way.

once we get inside the domain we obviously run into mr. worldwide himself including but not limited to a closeup of his crotch during his introduction for some reason. yeah its been nearly 3 years these things you cant unsee. that and the sending us sausage in his bday mail. like bruh

now childes (as he eventually divulges) in inazuma to look for traces of scara who ran off w the gnosis and happened to stumble into this strange domain with weird vibes. he thought it might be something relevant and waltzed in, proceeded to get locked inside (as the domain shifted) and beat the shit out of all the monsters there all the while having the time of his life bc hes simply built different. bc turns out the place is basically just a full-on sparring simulator for warriors that seems to be running by itself w no one overseeing it ever since the domain resurfaced cue the "pratice targets" aka monsters running wild

dont wanna recap the entire thing in detail but basically. firstly childe kinda improvs another new identity as an adventurer noticing xinyans liyuen attire bc Osial Incident and picking up the awkward energy we have at the realization of. this might be messy if we tell her. and xinyan buys it and nicknames him "red" w/e. so thats why the harbinger thing doesnt become a bigger conflict

he then informs us that all the monsters within the domain turn into torn paper charms when destroyed and that there are "replicas" of shiki taishou strewn about the domain that should restore his power and hopefully memories over time.

so we end up going thru the place helping shiki taishou gather his power and uncover the nature of the place. he kind of has an identity crisis happening bc all the monsters the place is generating seem to imply he was created for some nefarious purpose as a weapon of some sorts (childe says some Very Interesting Things in response as an attempt at pep talk. will get to it).

but TLDR what we do discover is actually that the shikigami/paper magic and the domains functions were basically a system invented after the domains creator harunosuke studied similar adeptal techniques in liyue in order to create the shikigami as these battle partners for samurai fighting against monsters from the cataclysm. these paper dolls could then record and replicate the monsters it and its partner fought in order to train others inside the domain so that inazumas protectors would always be ready to face such a threat if it ever came to be. shiki taishou was created as the "overseer" of this domain and its functions as a training facicility. by regaining his memories and finding clarity in his purpose shiki taishou gains control over the place again and is able to shut down its rogue functions so that it no longer poses a threat. he then promises to improve upon its workings by taking it to dormancy again. sara is relieved that the crisis could be averted without costing her manpower or further resources she doesnt have. yippee

So. yeah that took way too long mb jdwhjwdjdwadwaj but. Childe.

so there are a particular standouts in here in my opinion.

for one that is less like. a characterization aspect but more of a "gotcha" confirmation thats very nice to have is that he explicitly confirms that wherever in the abyss he spent those 3 months at 14, it DID involve places tied to the irminsul and its roots.

fissures between great tree roots u say?????? Inch resting ajax. tell me more abt the trees king.

also this monologue is literally so fucking sexy in general i love his single-minded pursuit of something as like. quintessentially simple as just. Improvement. but bc he has literally 0 fucking chill in his boundless hunger for that one singular ambition it alone is enough to disrupt the gravity of the world around him....... (but we will get to that)

Anyway. another Very good fucking moment from him character-wise is during the 2nd act. where weve spoken w sara about the tense situation after the 1st day of investigation ended w all of us minus childe (who got "trapped" inside the same way a child gets "trapped" inside a free-for-all candy store with all amenities included. he had a blast) getting thrown out and the domain rearranging itself again. and like we go back in once the entrance opens and are even more eager and restless to start figuring things out bc again. sara is on a timer.

and then .

guys im pretty sure theres a twitch emote for this???? something starting with C and ending with AUGHT?

LMAOOOOOO

he reads the shit out of us trying to all "subtly" push for the investigation to proceed so the crisis we are actually tasked to investigate can be solved. like this is literally just Actual 5d chess situational awareness and picking up cues from people around him and honing onto exactly whats stirring up in the undercurrent from childe. basically. he just lays onto us like. ah right. this is probably a big problem for that tenryo commission right? such a problem that theyd even ask an outsider to cover their duties... when thatd never happen during regular times right? a conundrum that could get even more problematic if theres a harbinger publicly around... right? oh my bad my bad haha just thinking out loud bestie lets get back to investigating shall we? hahaha

he is such a smart fucking Bastard oh my godddddd bro is out there smelling the traces of societal unrest and any and all weaknesses in a given governing structure like hes a shark tasting like 0,00000001% blood in the water . professional & supernaturally efficient problem causer everyone. this is what he was hired for . i love him

like. hes SMART guys. and hoyo Knows how to work his intelligence into the writing too its soooo scrumptious man .

and like bro hes being such a fucking menace in here too bc. he couldve kept this observation to himself too. but nooooo he just had to shove it in ur face that we are Not being as slick w keeping him in the dark as we would like to think💀💀 smug ass.

it makes me think abt how many things he actually Notices among the harbingers and all their power plays and schemes among one another but that childe simply keeps to himself bc he has nothing to gain from disproving the assumption of himself as this. gullible and simple-minded loyal warrior harbinger and the person-shaped time bomb we toss at wherever the flames of discord need some help sparking alight. after all, we saw this in arles quest too - how not only did he use our pathetic distraction attempts as an opportunity to fish relevant information on both arlecchino and pulcinella for himself (which i already commented on) but also. the fact that he Very clearly noticed our attempt at distracting her and intentionally helped us out without even knowing anything abt the matter at hand. to the point where even arle makes that Highly pointed comment about it and all but spells out that childe was assisting us on purpose the entire time.

like he is just. incredibly perceptive and so fucking intelligent like especially back in 2.2 where even Bigger of a portion of the fandom (if thats even possible) than today just thought of him as this. stupid fucking baby infant meow meow idiot brainwashed by the tsaritsa and completely owned by zhongli and signora XDDDDDD . seeing this unfold made me so fucking happy abt the way like. yeah HOYO knows what his character is all abt. the fandom can ruin him all the want but the games story isnt going to bend to their will.

Speaking of Which.

The weapon thing.

so as ive already alluded to prior . the entirety of labyrinth warriors despite it highlighting childes intelligence, attitude, priorities and ambitions in a way thats like. genuinely so fucking good and comes off as natural with no forced sounding exposition or backstory dump . mostly got a fan reception more in the way of . waa waa my baby boy is depressed with sigma PTSD 3.0 with DLC because calling yourself a weapon is self dehumanization and it signals he is suicidal and has no self worth 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he got TRAPPED in the EVIL DOMAIN consisting EXCLUSIVELY of all his favorite activities nonstop he must be feeling so scared i need to hug him my babygirl!!!!!!!!!11!1!1

when its like. ah yes. i have never heard of a motif ever before.

bc like as much as i do genuinely consider it something that more or less can be taken at face value as an Aspect of who childe is (not necessarily the whole of it, just another mask true to a part of his self) . it should still be acknowledge that part of the reason why his dialogue (and the event in general) fixates on the notion of being a "weapon" has to do with shiki taishous character arc.

because thats what he is. and is trying to discover what kind of purpose a discarded (bc harunosuke left the domain abandoned at the end) weapon and tool like himself can even have anymore. and childes lines taking that repeated emphasis of. whats so bad about being a WeaponTM (& expanding on what that means for Him) specifically . are as much about himself as they are just an attempt to communicate his worldview to shiki taishou as a way of pushing him towards solving this identity crisis he has . that paper boy literally Needs to solve in order for the domain to stop malfunctioning.

and like. okay even if we just look at it w/o paper boy. so say childe considers himself a weapon . but what does that mean to him?

[incoming top 5 dialogue lines that genuinely fucking challenge my sexuality this is so fucking hot. no one talk to me]

"Only those that wish for an end will find one."????????

"My limits vanish behind the horizon with every step I take"??????

FUCK OFF OH MY GODDDD

like people think of childe as this fatalistic if not actively suicidal then at least like passively reckless and uncaring towards his own wellbeing blood knight w low self esteem barreling towards his death and here he is. using his own fucking words. saying that the mere CONCEPT of an END. is not in his fucking VOCABULARY. because it does not serve his ambition to let such confusions ever obstruct his sights.

people think his purpose and ambition is soooo tied to his family tied to the tsaritsa that if those are ever taken away he will just freefall into the depths of directionless confusion and depression and whatever. when.

Here he is. giving a fucking pep talk to a DISCARDED WEAPON THAT HAS LOST HIS PURPOSE. EXCEPT HE KINDA JUST SAYS ITS A SKILL ISSUE TO EVEN NEED TO CONSIDER AN END TO YOUR PATH (hes silly like that). AS AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE OF NATURE. A WEAPON THAT CUTS ANYTHING.

oh hey thats funny now where have i heard that before. bonjour my baguettes any fontainian cults or god kings out there interested in the world and fate altering power of unstoppable weapons that can cut into anything even ego and destiny itself and whatever that may mean?????? O____o

i swear to fucking god if the entire time this entire weapon allegory from labyrinth warriors was all about all cleverly n loosely associating him with themes relating to descenders and wills that rival the world all the way back in 2.2. and yet on release all people wanted was to weep for how sad it was he thought himself a weapon. man why is it always like this . i weep for THAT.

like. idk i dont have anything poetic to say abt it other than childes drive as an individual is just fucking breathtaking to me??? its literally Scary how utterly consumed he is by that ambition yet at the same theres this . crystalline clarity he has towards viewing it and himself ?? this weird ass self awareness that coexists with the all-consuming pursuit and ambition of it all??? this isnt sad this is both ridiculously attractive AND batshit insane like dudeeee . and like . the way he talks about it too like this is just a matter of fact everyday thing to him 💀💀 bc thats his abyss shrimp color vision this is how he rolls . its nothing grandiose its just how he is . this is normal to him its unbearable i hate him

like somewhat unrelated here (sorry) but sometimes i see ppl go against the possibility of childe having sth to do w the 3rd descender (which like yes is a crack theory for now and its not sth i can fully align myself with either as of rn Due To Those Thematic Clashes it just lives rent free Because of how conflictingly insane it is while also having some Strangely compelling evidence in its favor) or even just. Any higher predestined significance assigned to him in the grand scheme of things with the sole argument of like . but then everything about Him is worthless bc it wasnt His ambition and His drive to overthrow the world he wasnt Just A Guy (and. sigh. as the op. of that ancient thing. stop taking that old ass hastily typed post too far and too literally thx. its abt the vibe the attitude the subversion. having a destined purpose if the story handles it well does not conflict w being the quintessential just a guy thanks xx). he was just special all along so it all means Nothing and its like. dude. he told a recently-amnesiac paper boy having an identity crisis that its a fucking skill issue to ever falter in the face of some greater purpose haunting in your past or defining your origins. that a True weapon cuts himself free of even that without even a sliver of hesitation . ppl think that if indeed some soul of the 3rd descender is resurrected in story and idk tries taking over his body with past lives and memories or whatever. you think he isnt ripping the essence and existence of that poor fucking dude apart and devouring him alive into the crushing depths of the black hole of an unquechable ambition that beats a steady pulse at His core just to reclaim HIS place as the ultimate weapon to cut through everything???????

aww thats so cute. you guys think even the hypothetical of theories akin to these being legit on some level is automatically going to ruin his arc and character bc hes gonna be taking it lying down!!!!! you think hes going to look at a Grand destiny Assigned to him by someone Outside and Above and not spit in its face!!!

just like his narwhal looked at the destined cosmic end of All life to fall to ruin and immediately devoted its entire existence to denying the universe that very outcome isnt that curious why are they the sam---------------SORRY SORRY where was i at

like. i see how it is for yall. well. myself on the other hand. i have some fucking faith in him lmao

partially . indeed Because. i read the goddamn text of labyrinth warriors. where they let him Talk about what these things mean to him. and how he Truly isnt about to stop. Ever. hes not looking for an end and if presented with one he sure isnt about to respect it. hes just. built different its absolutely amazing

and yeah my bad i got. sidetracked very badly there. you asked me abt labyrinth warriors but bc its childe this is just what tends to happen like my brain fucking spirals. but like . no im not saying that the weapon theme being such a prevalent aspect in the story is like 100% a descender and sword of narzissenkreuz thematic parallel and intentional reference i just think its Quite interesting in hindsight . that This is the angle they drilled in on .

anyway hopefully this at least had Something to illustrate abt why i love labyrinth warriors for how it serves to establish how much of a madman childe ajax tartaglia my beloved truly is . and how to hoyo his outlook towards the world has very much been one of endless limitless hunger and never-sated ambition . and not whatever fanon wants to cook up. childes greatest enemy has always been stagnation and he has always looked towards the Future. of surpassing each and every limit and boundary on his path . like thats what makes him who he is.

also. last lil thing aka. Most Ignored Canon Line Spoken By This Man

which is a shame bc. its so fucking interesting??? i mean. i get that ppl dont know what to make of it bc everyones so fixated on picturing childe as this loyal puppy tsaritsa fanboy who couldnt even deign to imagine discarding allegiances to anyone yet here he is. saying exactly that.

like ive seen ppl be like oh hes trying to Convince himself of this!!!! hes putting up an act!!!!! and its like? no? i dont think this contradicts anything about his character. people just find it uncomfortable because it implies that the things he listed there are not something of any Inherent value to him. which adds up perfectly fine to me but what do i know.

like the way i have always seen this is that it really isnt. oh childe says he isnt actually a loyal person When it matters to him personally and isnt actually invested in fulfilling his duty (as of Right Now, mind you) which would yes seemingly contradict a lot of other things. but really its just that those concepts alone are void to him. you cant stop him from pursuing his ambition by saying its evil. if the tsaritsa ever truly loses his respect and leaves him completely disillusioned in the archon that once was a fellow honorable warrior in his eyes, the concept of "allegiance" will not be able to dissuade him from turning that burning ambition of toppling the heavens towards her throne too. personal respect maybe. a sense of honor. maybe even disdain so extreme that even investing that time into her now is a waste? sure. but like. you get what im trying at? he is way more ambivalent about these things than most people really Want him to be. bc they dont fulfill the hunger that burns at his core.

and it adds up. bc like. his ambition his drive towards battle and bettering himself and becoming a weapon completely unstoppable and irreplaceable that can conquer the world . is his north star. its the singularity that all else about him orbits around. of course silly little concepts like right and wrong will be secondary to that. we just really havent seen a moment where his ambition is in true conflict with the bonds and oaths he has sworn in his current life. but i have a feeling that if and when we do. this line will make a lot more sense lmao

anyway uhhhhhhh

yeah i liked labyrinth warriors!!! very underacknowledged and misrepresented event that had a ton of fun stuff abt childe. i am super normal about these hip and enjoyable aspects of his character as they are explored within this event as the length and contents of this post imply!!!!

omg anon i. really fucking hope u got at least Something u were looking for out of all this KWJKJKDWWJKDWJKDJKWDK i swearrr i just cannot. stop myself from completely fucking losing it on the asks of every innocent anon (and like non anon too why not) approaching my ask box 😭😭

but thank you again for sending this in!!!!!! have a nice day!!!! im very normal thanks for asking!!!!!

[fandomworldofdreams]

Hospital For Souls

"I want to hold you close, ekin pressed against me tight. Lie still, and close your eyes girl. So lovely, it feels so right. I want to hold you close. Soft breasts, beating heart as I whisper in your ear, 'I want to fucking tear you apart.' "

-She Wants Revenge

Previous: Prologue, CHP1, CHP2, CHP3

Warnings: force-feeding, violence

Chapter IV: Tear You Apart

Valeria glared across from the desk at Dr. Crane, who looked unfazed at her anger.

There was a faint bruise on his chin, his lip had a visible enough crack. That gave her some satisfaction.

"Ms. Gray, I need you to understand something. I'm only comfortable discharging patients when I am fully confident they are ready for it. Considering your disregard for the intensity of the situation and the fact you show no inclination to change, that is why I did what I did."

"You don't even know me," she hissed. "We talked for maybe thirty minutes and suddenly you know how I think?"

"That Is indeed my job."

"So far I can't say you're top tier."

He smirked. "You have been here three days and have yet to eat anything."

She tensed. "I didn't realize I was being watched constantly."

"I have to keep tabs on my patients to ensure their well-being."

"I'm not hungry, especially not for that shit you call food."

Dr. Crane sighed, removing his glasses and meeting her gaze.

She stared right back. His eyes reminded her of ice, an appropriate match to his soul.

"What is your favorite food?"

She looked at him confused. "I suppose hamburgers or sushi." He smiled softly.

"And your least?" She paused.

"Broccoli," she lied.

He reached into his desk and presented an apple to her. "I am going to give you one more chance to eat something before you regret it."

Valeria clenched her jaw. "Fuck you."

To her surprise he smiled at her. "I'm also aware your father finally came to visit."

"Were you also aware you worked together?" Valeria asked

"He mentioned that."

"Mentioned? You spoke with my father?"

There was a shift in his aura as well as his body language. He leaned back, knowing he held all the cards.

"I did."

Valeria was filled with anger. "What could you possibly gain from speaking with him?"

"Insight."

He was toying with her and she knew it. She took a deep breath before neutralizing her expression. "Well I do hope that the man who couldn't notice my mental decline, let alone tell you my favorite color offered a good look into my psyche."

Dr. Crane stood and walked behind her, leaning down so she could feel his breath against her ear. She shuddered.

"It gave me everything."

He turned, opening the door and motioning for the guard that had brought her. "Bring her here first thing tomorrow instead of Dr. Lecter's."

The guard nodded and roughly grabbed her, escorting her to her cell.

That night she tossed and turned, anxious of what was to happen. Dr. Crane was unpredictable and dangerous. Whatever rules he followed seemed to be few.

She also wondered what things her father had shared with him, how much leverage on her had he willingly offered up on hopes of helping her?

When morning came dark circles had appeared under her eyes.

"You look like crap," Teddy tried to joke. She huffed and they made the agonizing walk to Dr. Cranes office.

But they made a different turn. Valeria glanced to Teddy. "I thought we were going to Dr. Crane's office?"

"He instructed me to bring you to a different room." Her chest tightened and she asked no further questions, doubting Dr. Crane had informed him of anything else

They reached the room and Valeria was grateful she hadn't been eating, because she may have puked it up from nerves.

A chair resembling one found at a dentist office was in the center of the room.

The room itself was cold and she assumed this was where patients came for dental procedures.

Dr. Crane had removed his jacket and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows.

"Take a seat, remove the cuffs," was all he said, not looking in their direction. Whatever he was looking at, Valeria could not see, which only fueled her anxiety.

Teddy helped her into the chair and fumbled with his keys, nervously glancing at Dr. Crane. It was with that she knew he was new to this job. Or just afraid of Dr. Crane, which she wouldn't blame him for.

Dr. Crane finally turned to them, eyes locking on her. He approached her and reached for the arm of the chair, pulling a thick leather strap out and around her wrists, fastening the buckle. Valeria began to panic. She kicked out her legs and threw her hand around to try and get the buckle.

"Restrain her other arm!" Teddy grabbed her left arm and strapped it in. Dr. Crane reached around her head and pulled a final restraint out. He placed it over her forehead, immobilizing any movement of her head.

Valeria was breathing heavily and trying to wiggle out of the binds. The leather rubbed into her bandages. She was shaking.

"Since you refuse to eat," Dr. Crane began as he pulled a tray over beside them. "I believe it's time we fix that problem."

"What are you going to do?" Valeria asked, voice unsteady.

"Do you know what an orogastric intubation is?"

She didn't answer, clenching her fists to pull against the restraints.

"Perhaps you'll know the term 'force-feeding'?" A grin broke across his face at watching her eyes widen in terror.

"D-Dr. Crane is that even legal?" Teddy asked in disbelief. Dr. Cranes eyes squinted at him.

"You may leave if this is too much for you to handle." He turned to the table and grabbed a metallic tool that looked almost like large scissors with curved flat tips.

Teddy glanced to Valeria. But her gaze was on the tool.

"Open wide." She clasped her lips shut and he tried prying them apart with his fingers. Teddy stood there, frozen. Finally Dr. Crane hissed and squished her nose between his thumb and forefinger.

Velaria didn't loosen her jaw.

"If you don't breathe, the best that'll happen is you'll be unconscious for this. Which may make my job even easier. Of course, you won't know what happened during the session." His chuckle sent chills up her spine and fear consumed her.

She was beginning to see spots and her ears popped as she tried to force air out of her nose.

She finally caved and gasped for air. Dr. Crane immediately shoved his fingers in her mouth and wrenched her jaw open, shoving the tool he had in.

It cut into her gums as it slipped between her teeth.

He clicked it locked and her mouth was forced wide open, the metallic taste of blood against her tongue and the loud popping sound of her jaw made her flinch.

She looked at Teddy, eyes pleading. But he was just as terrified as her, unsure of what to do.

Dr. Crane pulled a small tube off the cart and made sure to admire it in front of her.

"You're going to need to relax your throat," he advised. "This process is very particular. You wouldn't want the tube to wind up in your lungs and drown you."

Fear had made it's home inside her and she was yanking so hard on her restraints that blood was starting to soak through them.

Dr. Crane stepped right beside the chair, gazing down at her. Valeria was breathing rapidly and unevenly. She tried pleading with her eyes to him.

"Let's begin."

She tried to close her throat as best she could. But other than making her gag, the tube slid right down.

She couldn't breathe. She was choking on the tube.

"Try not to puke." Dr. Crane said. His eyes would occasionally lock with hers as he continued pushing the tube further down.

She was going to suffocate to death was the only thing she could think of. The sounds she was making were inhuman. Her nails dug into the arms of the chair. Drool dripped down her chin.

Teddy grasped her hand, holding firm even as her grip threatened to break his hand.

Finally Dr. Crane stopped and Valeria was able to breathe. Tears were streaming down her face. He grabbed a funnel, attaching it to the end of the tube and then poured a blended up sludge into it.

Valeria was frozen, she didn't dare move out of fear of what would happen if she did. It didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity to her.

After Dr. Crane had emptied all of the food and made sure it slid down the tube he placed the funnel down and gripped the tube, making a small yank.

Valeria clenched her eyes shut, making a choking sound. He started to pull and again she couldn't breathe. Her throat contracted and hurt so much. Just as Dr. Crane pulled out the rest of the tube Valeria puked.

"Untie her and escort her to the showers then to her cell," Dr. Crane ordered, turning to grab his jacket and briefcase before leaving.

Teddy rushed to undo the restraints, fumbling between looking at her to make sure she was alive.

Her eyes were locked on the wall. "Shit, shit, shit," he was whispering. "I gotta report this, this is so fucked. I don't know why I didn't try and stop him." Valeria looked at him and grabbed his arm.

"You tell no one," her voice was a whisper. He stared at her for a long time before giving an unsure nod.

He helped her up and wrapped one of her arms around his shoulders to help her walk to the showers.

"Go in, there should be clean clothes in there. If you need anything I'll be right outside."

Valeria didn't remember removing her clothes or turning on the shower, thankful to be alone in the room. She turned on the showerhead and slid to the floor, burying her head in her knees.

Small, weak, powerless, violated, degraded.

That was all she felt as she sobbed uncontrollably.

She dug her nails into her wrists and watched as more blood soaked the gauze.

When she returned to her cell she just collapsed onto the bed and curled into a ball. Teddy paused, as if to say something, then hung his head and locked the door.

She felt like an empty shell, like her soul had left her bed.

That afternoon when dinner was brought to her cell, she ate it.

[raysletters]

2023 Character Wrapped

Rules: share your top 9 characters of 2023

tagged by the lovely @suseagull04 (like, so long ago, but i had forgotten to do it so here i am)

1. Alex Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

i wish i could explain to you the deep connection i have to this fictional man. he is me and i am him. he probably has been my favorite character since i first found him on 2021 (which is the longest hyperfixation ive ever had, funnily enough) and has actually shaped me to be more confident in myself and all that mushy stuff, so yeah, im just missing a henry kinnie that wants to put up with this mess.

2. Percy Jackson (Riordanverse)

i binge read pjo and hoo these last months, and the way ive become attached to this kid is something else. i want to protect him from anything.

3. Nico di Angelo (Riordanverse)

like with percy, i became attached to him from the moment he showed up, and i would protect him with my life even from rick riordan. he cant do no wrong ever.

4. Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor (RWRB)

henry has specially gained a piece in my heart lately, but i have to be honest, when i first read about him, i thought nothing of him more than the perfect companion and love interest in alex's story. i have to say that getting a glance to his mind through both the bonus chapter and really fucking good fics gave me the insight i needed to comprehend him: his actions, his motivations, and everything in between that made him who he is and made me realize how many things we have in common and how many things i could learn from him, which is always a beautiful experience

5. June Claremont-Díaz (RWRB)

theres nothing i wouldnt do for her. even though i absolutely HATE how i wrote the fic that has june's pov, im still in the process of learning about her and comprehending her more. still, she reminds me so much of my own sister, even though i should kin her more than alex because of the whole sapphic latina journalist who loves her sibling very much, even when they annoy the shit out of you, but alas, im a younger sister and june has so much vibes of my own sister except with my tastes, so yeah, nothing i wouldnt do for her

6. Iris West-Allen (The Flash TV)

in case you didnt know this about me, i had a not-so-recent hyperfixation on the flash (and it can absolutely be seen in my sky high au), and she was half the reason of it. i wish i could put into words how much i fucking love her in every sense of the word. like, i'm in love with her but i also want her to be happy and protected at all costs and i would do anything for her to actually get those things. she can also step on me and i would thank her, but that is unrelated

7. Annabeth Chase (Riordanverse)

what you dont get is that for her i would become like a rabid feral gremlin or maybe that dog that takes a sword in its mouth and starts swinging carelessly. thats how ready i am to protect her from absolutely everything, even spiders, no matter how fucking scared i am of them

8. Imogen Heaney (Heartstopper TV)

yes, i am absolutely biased because the actress also has t1d and my hc is that now imogen also has t1d, but also because i, too, affirmed with my whole chest how i was an ally and totally straight and then slowly realized i was sapphic bc of one cute girl in my friend group that called me out on my bs 💀

9. Barry Allen (The Flash TV)

yes, we dont acknowledge that other version by that other actor. yes, he's last because i had a love-hate relationship with the way he was written. but season 8!barry became one of my favorite versions of him, and i absolutely thank grant (the actor) for the way he made me love the character once again

i missed so many characters that i love but just not like i love these ones. the only one who could easily take barry's place on the list would be nick nelson my absolute beloved, but since flash tv ended this year, it had me in my feelings and i couldn't not put him there, so yeah

DISCLAIMER: i am at the moment reading trials of apollo (im just like 1/4 of the first book) and if somebody spoils me anything i WILL become a rabid feral gremlin, this is your only warning, thank you very much.

anyway, you can consider this an open tag and do this and tag me in it bc i always love to read about yalls favorite stuff. still, no pressure, but im still tagging beautiful ppl so i can read about your favorite characters @anincompletelist @inexplicablymine @read-and-write- @sherryvalli @14carrotghoul @formorewishes

[petruchio]

Caroline I got broken up with 😭

What’s worse is that I have “want him back” disease and it’s terminal. It was a 6 month deal so it was long enough to be serious but short enough that I have very little to hate about him yet. (Yikes)

I spent a really long time holding him at arms length too, (being an avoidant girlie, I know you know) but I’ve spent some decent time now actually liking him and working on not being avoidant.

I tried so hard to be authentic and consistent rather than fearful and avoidant. (I’m the bravest girl in the world) but it wasn’t enough! Ive lost it all, and I have no one to blame. Not even me.

(It was a circumstantial breakup, but just I think getting back together is unlikely.)

So, sitting here trying not to miss him / think about how much I really liked him, I’m considering reading thg again, in your honor. Any food for thought on the series this time around? I’m in desperate need of a distraction.

We can be two single besties together🌟

ah my sweet angel!!! i'm so sorry!!!!

heartbreak is so so so hard. it's one of the hardest, loneliest, most frustrating feelings, and i'm so sorry. it SUCKS! there's no two ways around it. it just sucks.

it's cliche and unhelpful to say but honestly the only thing that can really heal it is just time. and when you're in the depths of the lowest lows it can feel like you'll NEVER move on, but i promise (I PROMISE!!) that someday you will. <33

a circumstantial breakup can hurt so deeply, because you don't necessarily know where to direct your anger and your hurt, and that's so frustrating when you're trying to work through these feelings! i don't know if there's anything you can do other than acknowledge that -- say to yourself, this SUCKS and it's not FAIR and i'm ANGRY about it. you don't have to be angry at him (unless he was mean or nasty when you broke up!) but it's okay to acknowledge and feel your anger, even if your rational brain is telling you that you did all the right things. let yourself be irrational. that's what heartbreak IS.

from your message, i will say this -- i'm SO proud of you for working through the difficulties of being open and honest and vulnerable with someone! that's no small task. i think every relationship we have in our lives teaches us so much about ourselves and how we can grow and evolve, and the fact that you were able to identify when you fell into those patterns and actively work to stop them... that's incredible! and you should be so proud of yourself for doing it. i don't think you've "lost it all," i think you've shown yourself that you are capable of showing up and giving 100% of yourself to someone no matter how scary it might feel. and while it might feel like a loss right now, there's something to be said for gaining that level of insight into yourself and your relationships. as joni mitchell would say, "something's lost but something's gained in living every day" -- and you did! you showed up to really live your life and love as boldly as you could. i'm so proud of you.

i don't think you should feel guilty for missing him or wanting him back!! all you can do is just feel it all -- let your fantasies of getting back with him and the conversations you have with yourself in the mirror teach you about yourself and what you want and what you need. feel ALL the feelings. try to make them into art. journal, cry, sing. listen to sad music, listen to angry music, listen to happy music and hate the singers for being so happy when you're so sad. go for long walks and draft detailed letters that you'll never send and talk to your friends until they tell you to just SHUT UP about it already but know in your heart that they're there for you and that you'll be there the same way when it happens to them. let yourself feel alone, let yourself feel lonely -- but hold tight to the knowledge that you are surrounded by so much love in your life.

sending you sunshine and cheek kisses and a warm hug. <3 make yourself a cup of tea and re-read the hunger games and fall in love with peeta all over again -- it will get better <33 i promise

[the-knights-who-say-book]

it might be your wound, but they’re my sutures // a Griddlehark playlist

reposting playlist because i made some changes to it for AO3 posting, but have to take it down from AO3 now as it's too much quotation

I. They fought each other bloody and grew up in each other’s pockets

Pyrokinesis - 7Chariot Neither one of us could gain control over our powers Over one another we could fight like this for hours Words deep soaked in gasoline and it will never change And even if you loved me now it’d just feel cold and strange

Need Nothing - VÉRITÉ Oh, I’m sorry I’m so condescending The pride on my shoulder, it keeps me standing And I’d call out an ending If you’d hold it against me

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you, and then I found you You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you, spinning around you

II. Immersed in salt water (one flesh, one end, bitch)

Flaws - Bastille All of your flaws and all of my flaws They lie there hand in hand Ones we’ve inherited, ones that we learned They pass from man to man

Holy Water - Freya Ridings I bathe in holy water In holy water for you You don’t feel the torture Feel it like I do

Fear & Delight - The Correspondents I don’t show it but I quiver whenever you come near And I cannot decipher between the thrill and the fear I wanna stop it but like it too much to let it stop here It’s wrong but I want you tonight

Graveyard - Halsey I would’ve followed all the way, no matter how far I know when you go down all your darkest roads I would’ve followed all the way to the graveyard

III. The cruelest thing anyone has ever done to you

I’m Not Your Hero - Tegan and Sara Feeling like I am now, lighting up the hall I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart Learning all I know now, losing all I did I never used to feel like I’d be standing so far ahead

The Knife - Maggie Rogers The knife of insight tore its way in me A brash collision without sympathy

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons So I bare my skin And I count my sins And I close my eyes And I take it in I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out for you, for you

Medusa in a Stone Garden - molly ofgeography I laced my fingers round the things that hurt me The way he looks when all my words desert me We weren’t bad just young, but that just makes it worse He said love does not compel, no, it converts me

IV. I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it

Control - Halsey I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds And I couldn’t stand the person inside me I turned all the mirrors around

Somewhere in Between - VÉRITÉ Somewhere between living and dying Making believe the walls have gone quiet My soul concedes, we’ll set it on fire So I can sleep in smoldering silence

Shots - Imagine Dragons Am I out of touch? Am I out of my place? When I keep saying that I’m looking for an empty space Oh, I’m wishin’ you’re here but I’m wishin’ you’re gone I can’t have you and I’m only gonna do you wrong

Bitter Water - The Oh Hellos Well, I still taste you on my lips Lovely bitter water The terrible fire of old regret is honey on my tongue And I know I shouldn’t love you I know I shouldn’t love you, but I do

Saint - VÉRITÉ Baby, I’m magnificently shut down Take me to the water, watch me drown Watch me drown Cause I know I’m not innocent But if you let me, I could show you how it feels To be buried underground

29 - Run River North Your words are cold like the wind They hold no weight around me Let go, you're telling me to let go I know the shadows are the only ones

V. The quick death to anyone who looks at me in fear

Immortals - Fall Out Boy Sometimes the only payoff for having any faith Is when it’s tested again and again every day I’m still comparing your past to my future It might be your wound, but they’re my sutures

The Lighthouse - Halsey And I’m glad I met the devil ‘Cause he showed me I was weak And a little piece of him is in a little piece of me

Cold War - Janelle Monáe I’m trying to find my peace I was made to believe there’s something wrong with me And it hurts my heart Lord have mercy, ain’t it plain to see That this is a cold war Do you know what you’re fighting for

I am not a woman, I’m a god - Halsey I am not a woman, I’m a God I am not a martyr, I’m a problem I am not a legend, I’m a fraud So keep your heart, 'cause I already got one

Blue Flame - Gio Navas I’ve discarded my skin Cremated your sins Held onto your eyes, its color staining mine

VI. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end

Demons - Imagine Dragons They say it’s what you make I say it’s up to fate It’s woven in my soul I need to let you go Your eyes, they shine so bright I wanna save that light I can’t escape this now Unless you show me how

I Bet My Life - Imagine Dragons Now remember when I told you that’s the last you’ll see of me Remember when I broke you down to tears I know I took the path that you would never want for me I gave you hell through all the years

Ya’aburnee - Halsey I think we could live forever In each other’s faces 'cause I Always see my youth in you And if we don’t live forever Maybe one day we’ll trade places Darling, you will bury me before I bury you

Like Real People Do - Hozier I had a thought, dear, however scary About that night, the bugs and the dirt Why were you digging, what did you bury Before those hands pulled me from the earth

[demonslayedher]

HI! Buriko-senpai, lately ive been to interested in japan and its whole history (one of the reasons being your blog because its so fascinating how much of kny is connected to japanese folklore and history) so i wanted to know if you would have some recs for me to learn japanese or its history... though its fine if it cant be answered bc this isnt much of a kny ask, still, thank you for inspiring me to learn about japanese culture and also throw me down the rabbit hole that is kny (❤´艸｀❤)

Sup!! So glad I can inspire aspiring Japanese folklorists/aficionados/scholars! Or weebs, that's fine, let's own that term. And that totally is one of the things I love about KnY, it has so many connections to real life culture and lore!

When it comes to learning a language, the first step is asking yourself your goals. If you want to attain professional fluency you can expect to devote a lot of time and money to serious language acquisition, but if you want to be conversational and make friends, this is easier to do through dedicated self-study. It's also okay to just want to know travel basics, and to forget them all after taking a trip abroad! I've always taken hardcore textbook routes with the languages I wanted to hardcore acquire, and I've never used Duolingo or Rosetta Stone but I've liked Mango for gaining conversational travel phrases (which I made good use of while traveling and then forgot everything after traveling). What I suggest for self-study is finding an audio-course which you may be able to find at your local library, like Pimsleur, so you can play it on repeat and mimic and respond to what you hear. If you want an app for the writing system, I liked KanjiBox back in the day, and prior to that I used Tuttle Language Library kana/kanji workbooks. And for my other personal tips on language, see here! My tips do include active listening while watching anime. As for Japanese history, bill wurtz already has you covered in nine minutes, but gaining a general image of the different times periods and their order helps to build a framework for appreciating anime set in different time periods, as well as to tie famous places and people to their context. To take it further and fill in gaps in understanding, timelines of events can help, as long as they are focused on what will aid your understanding as opposed to, say, cramming for a Nerd Test. Wikipedia rabbit holes of bios of historical figures are also lots and lots and lots of fun.

As for deeper explorations of cultural topics and the history behind them, I've got my old blog about San-in region stories and adventures but it looks horrific with the Photobucket watermark all over everything. That said, you should still be able to download the silly and educational Kojiki mythology comics to avoid those watermarks, though. (Do note that my focus was only myths which took place in the San-in region, so like, a third of them, but not the whole Kojiki/Nihonshoki/Fudoki.)* *On this note, if I could ask Gotouge one question, it would be, "Did you happen to see my drawing of Kagutsuchi and did that influence the spirits inside Tanjiro's inner space????"

As for places I recently enjoy gaining insights, two of my go-to YouTube channels for this lately are Linfamy (watch out for dirty jokes everywhere, though I find his wording hilarious) and Let's Ask Shogo (I like how his explanations are straightforward and clear for general audiences, but still rich with detail).

Something that's been fun with the KnY phenomena is that it brings out all the nerds, and I learn so much from people putting out unofficial KnY books to introduce more of their knowledge specialties just because they can frame it with a KnY focus, or theorists who see connections in canon with existing lore that don't stand out to me. Part of the reason writing this blog is fun is because I get to bridge the language gap and tell people in the English speaking fandom cool things that people are saying in the Japanese fandom!

[lilcowzia]

Hellloooooooo, asking bc I rly like yr insight on navigating fetish spaces ethically and all that jazz:

Do you think that if a prolific creator's content is inherently problematic (say misogyny-kink, womenarethings, degradeafatty, etc) that they can, and should, participate and be accepted in feedist spaces without criticism/ critique?

What two consensual adults do is whatever they choose to do as long as it's SSC, but if it perpetuates harmful tropes (like "ruination" of a formally fit body to something that of a small fat) should someone who's bothered by it just mind their own business?

im not sure im an expert on ethics but imo this kind of thing varies. if you are navigating within a kink space (which feedism is) then engaging in that kink via the taboo (degradation, etc), is just kind of normal i think? like where else are people going to do that besides a kink space, yanno? which isnt to say that it cant bother someone, but within online spaces, if a specific kind of content isnt for you, youre free to not engage with it/block. do i think fit-to-smallfat stuff is kind of lame? yeah. do a lot of the fantasies i see online perpetuate things that are simply not true of fat bodies or weight gain and contribute to real world misinformation? absolutely lol but i mean, its not as if once confronted ppl with thse fantasies would be like "oh okay" yanno? and its not as if something turning you on means that you believe it, exactly. im a fan of degrading language and its not because i think badly of myself or my body, its because its naughty and vulnerable feeling. and like, im a deathfeedist, its not exactly the thing ppl associate with moral purity, ik ppl dont always wanna see it but im also not gonna refrain from expressing myself. all that being said, if you do happen to be in a space where its not appropriate to force your fantasies onto other people (for example, leaving a degrading comment on someone elses photo, when theyre not into degradation, even if theyre a feedist or something) then what youve just done is harassment, i think thats pretty self explanatory. the rest can be kind of tricky i guess, there are instances in which ive opposed to certain fantasies being shared publicly, and ppl have also opposed my fantasies for being harmful so likeeeee. im probably not the best person to ask! there are ppl who say feedism is inherently harmful, and they're wrong and stupid but like, this shit isnt simple imo. if you really feel like your voice needs to be heard ofc you can say something, im just not sure kink-policing is something i could really recommend. im more of a RACK girlie and while i wish everyone had the framework to analyze their kinks and structures of power, most ppl just wanna get off. i prefer to focus my energy on myself and my partner as much as i can, personally

[commaclear]

theory time with 🌈: Violets Are Blue edition!

Ok so my current theory is that there isn’t actually a cop on schlatt’s side and that wil told q that to make him distrust his coworkers so that he’d be isolated and cut off from their insight and it would cause tensions which would stress q out further, all of this making him easier to manipulate.

Even if there is actually a dirty cop in the precinct, telling q is a risk where not telling him would allow the “spy” to operate unsuspected and telling q would cause him to keep info from the others including the spy, so either way i believe wil telling q about it that was further manipulation.

Now if there is a spy, purpled seems like the most obvious to us right now (but im growing more familiar with comma stories so i wont lay down any specific prediction yet) not just bc he asked q about wil and quackity himself started suspecting him. In earlier chapters it mentioned that he’s worked mob cases before and is known for them, so there’s not too much question of how he ended up within the vicinity of one of schlatt’s operations. AND in canon, purpled is the one among the las nevadas crew that plots to betray and take down quackity. Again im not making any accusations yet, but so far, the evidence is pointing to purpled more than any of the others.

In purpled’s defense however, q suddenly being super successful in the schlatt case around the same time he started talking to wil is something most people could notice if they were paying attention, which purpled probably was since q had asked him for some help with the case before.

Perhaps bc he’s familiar with these types of cases, he understands the danger q is in by being successful and/or by working with wil, maybe he understands that working with wil puts WIL in danger which would jeopardize the case if wil is really helping q.

Furthermore, if there is a cop helping schlatt, wil is putting himself in a lot of danger with schlatt by “helping” quackity, even if it is just a distraction from a much bigger operation.

This brings me to wil, God, wil, if he’s trying to keep q distracted, then the reason he gave q the tip about the drug bust is to gain q’s trust by giving him something real and to satisfy him for a while, like giving a dog a bone to chew on.

But considering schlatt’s distaste for wil’s “games” i doubt he’ll be happy if he finds out that it happened bc of wil.

Also the office shenanigans are both super fun to read as they are and are an interesting juxtaposition with the high stakes and tension surrounding quackity’s and wil’s storylines (i’d say its like something watching brooklyn nine-nine side-by-side with breaking bad but ive never seen b99 and i never finished breaking bad)

good day, comma!

- 🌈

Oooooohhhh

I like this theory, I really like this theory, you touched on way too many extremely plot relevant details for me to say much other than yes I very much enjoyed your use of evidence

Also omg, you've actually hit the nail on the head for my two mood inspos here! My gritty crime draws a lot from breaking bad (which I also never finished lol) and the goofy cops are very b99

You have earned an anon gold star for astuteness! ⭐️

[fleshtrogen]

i wish i had like...a lens.

or a mirror. or a tv. or a lucid dream. whatever would let me see something magically or whatever.

and through/on it. i could see the reactions of the people i care for if i were to die. self inflicted, freak accident, peacefully in my sleep, what have you. i die, and i get to see how people react. my parents. my fiance. my closest friends. i would want to see how they take it. how it would affect them moving forward.

if i could see what significance my death holds and just how meaningful it is to them, then maybe, just maybe, i could start feeling like my life is, too.

and maybe i wont let myself randomly get to this point anymore. sitting in the shower, head in my hands, fantasizing about the circumstances that would break my conviction of not wanting to hurt those i care about, which would then lead to...

i dont know why things are this bad. every single time i experience some kind of breaking point amd afterwards i say with determination that this is when ill finally strive to be better, this is when ill summon the strength to tackle my host of mental complexes and spiderwebs of illness head on. and every time i end up back here within no time flat. its like i cant help myself. and if i cant, then why should other people be spending their time helping me? its pointless youre throwing your words into a empty void. i want to be better for them but at the same time i just cant bring myself to assign myself literally any value in my eyes or the eyes of others. i cannot SEE myself holding any value because my entire being is permeated with seething self-loathing that has festered since i was a child. i am empty, i am nothing. there is nothing of value to be lost here. i am an aside, an afterthought, and i should just know my place and stop trying to form connections as if i were a real person. and on some level i know thats not true but i cant fucking FEEL IT. no matter how many times i try no matter how strong my convictions are. i keep failing those close to me again and again by promising to try and better myself, try and beat these complexes, and then ending up back here every single time. a part of me HOPES that they realize its pointless and realize im not worth the trouble at all, much less worth maintaining a friendship with. maybe its because itd confirm what ive thought of myself all along.

hell, im even getting on my own nerves with the constant backsliding. cant IMAGINE what itd be like for the people who actually have HOPE for me for whatever reason. who have seen me at my worst and received my promises to get myself to the best i can be. seeing me here once again. ha. haha. hahahahahahahahahahaha

if youve read this entire thing up to here despite my tags: why? why bother? you gained nothing from reading this aside from insight into the mind of a girl who isnt here. i would greatly appreciate it if you forgot about all of this and allowed my thoughts to just scatter into the wind like they ought to.

[kamil-a]

(cass) okay, wait, bringing that conversation up now has me thinking... why do YOU think young even told SAYER(OCEAN) about the halcyon sitch (and so the imminent subversioning/deactivation)? i haven't been able to pin down a satisfying answer. 

it wasn’t board-approved or incited. young wasn’t asking it for advice. he claims he mentions it so SAYER can make the best possible decisions for argos/aerolith, but in the same breath as lying about the board approval. nothing would have been lost by not telling it, and in retrospect a lot would have been gained.

i'm willing to believe he was mostly truthful about giving it info to guide the direction of argos/vidarr. that he was smart enough to know the board would not approve this, but arrogant enough to think it was the only obvious way forward, so he did it. but WHY? if young thinks of SAYER as a mere computer—and he does—why go to all the trouble? what insight could it give him that the SAYER back home couldn't? how would this information be at all relevant to argos operations? what on typhon was he thinking???

i’m interested in what other people think.

NO THATS A RLY GOOD POINT....... i actually have boundless next on my relisten (that ive been putting off due to ????? nerves ???? who knows. blushes demurely ms boundless dot empee three....)

when you put it this way i honestly dont know. my heart says it was the sort of impulse when something is bursting to get off your chest RIGHT !! NOW !!!!!! and perhaps he thought he could (ell emm eff ay ohhh) get Unbiased feedback from a computer ( that mistrustful trait, that distrust of his coworkers etc) and anyway we'll just kill that thang later so no one will know. but this is a fully vibes based answer idk if i believe in it.