#you cant play the victim card anymore

[solardick]

Lovely portent that was. A redwing’s mate guiding me to eye contact. The redwings themselves not being aggressive. Pretty, awkward, blond and slim.

Aside from that on the fallowing day. I give up at life. 40 years is too much. I suspect I’m not survive much longer. I don’t want to be alive anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done. All there is is evil in life. I don’t want a part of it. Anymore. It only grows stronger. They wont leave me alone. There’s nothing to do. I hate life. I fucken hate. All it wants is to hurt me. 40’years is too much. Im done.

Go get my bottle of liquer. Throw the noose over door, step off the chair. Thats my future. Unconscious in a few long painful seconds. Dead in a few more.

If i cant develop and grow on my own fucken terms. Im not living at all. Keep my locked up in is mind raping prison. Im done.

Maybe my death will give a pause with hesitation in the next abuse victim they have an aim for.

And the cops are hareaing me with rheir pressence today. Again. Fun fun.

And blocking me out of xbox. On a roll with fucking with me today.

Lets go see if i can buy another fycken dictionairy. Cant even learn a new language without nazi cockskrs perverting with slut faget bs.

I dont care what i say anymore. Im goign to be fucked with either way. Km just an asshole who needs to be reminded how much im someones bitch everyday. Only been 40 straight fucken years. Its the reason im born. Theres no getting away from it. So fuck you amd uou and uou. The world decided yo make me its enemy the day i was born so fuck you too.

Neither am i able to buy an actual russian dictionary. Its only bilingual dictionaries. Which are all lackluster. So much for creating a russian tarot deck. Uh, i dont know why i still try and do stuff. Im not allowed doug. Anythign but doing this. Fuck you and fuck and you.

Should make another card of policemen, and crime mobs, raping men, hold billy clibs and knifes with severed cocks in their hands, laughing with a poor mother trying to protect her son. Replace waites gay death card with it. Half the victims smiling amd the other half crying.

And then people will be like. No, i don’t want to die. I want to live.

Maybe temperance fallowing will make a little more sense. The death card and gold. The italiano is better. Removal of all resources. Temperance becomes a mandatory. Instead of being thrown around from one incompatible place to the next, from one abusive place to the next, one supervised conditioning place after the next manipulative place. Constant cues of inevitability, this will happen. None of this, this may happen. I almost died three times in the last couple years. Then its the devil card. Being all like do it, do it. On the superficial retard level spoken by the lowcuning, who have no temperance themselves. To the narsicists and sadists. A constant line of attack that never ceases and hasn’t ceased in decades. Turning from the up front aggressive, to the back, side, friendly but, none of it is real. Everyones playing an act. No real genuine communication from anyone. The odd couple txts now and a -long -gain. The gain gets highlighted but its pronunciation is wrong. It’s not strong enough to count very high.

All sources of information, perverted. Conditioning, a veil to side track attention. Little prison cell made to fell like nothing is to blame and this is how it is. It’s destiny. У.

So much for ever learning how to act. Nope. You don’t get to. Wish i could act. Then id be a two-faced asshole. The french call them crosseur. Or somethign spelt like that. The french never did make me feel welcome.

And the only places that ever did. Had an agenda. That is currently still in play. Thats what now? 8 years stolen? On that scene alone. The whole homo agenda scheme, all part of the picture leading years in before hand. Best decision i ever made. Fuck you.

What’s next gonna hit me even harder? Im just a punching bag. Always was. My narcissist father thinks that kid of thing is funny. Used to talk about it all the time. How much he loved his punching bag.

Keeping an open dialogue to this. Intentionally. Aggravating, frustrating, shaming, while pleading temperance?

Fuck this prison cell. Get me out. Maybe id have somethign positive to say. Maybe they’d be no righteous belligerence in the face of outsode forces m that have not once stoped ever. For any amount of time on that entire line. Maybe my attention would phase out to soemthign else. Maybe id have a healthier mentality. Maybe id have aome someblamce of a life of my own creation. But no. Not allowed. Just this. This is where i belong. Being beaten on from above. Whoch isn t hard considering im in the gutter.

I choose to fuck death. Go back to where i came from, hell. Im not human. Never was.

The next card is the father given his son a gun. And the mother is sucking him off while he does it.

Go “Temperate” son.

Maybe, i wouldn’t be so kind to people. Helpful and generous. Even to the very people fucken with me. Like i’m not aware. I don’t have the strength left for that last one anymore.

No positivity is better than fake positivity or, hopeful positivity.

Looking at america from an outside perspective. Uou got the states alpha prick. And you got canada right besides him. His little bitch. Who can’t raise its voice and has to live by their alpha fag. And fallow his news. More than their own. And then you got mexico on the other side, his personal drug dealer that he keeps his guard up around. The Us the ultimate wife beater.

The oilers losed?! What?! No shit. It happened. Course they were going to lose. Their canadian in their own field. And they’re named after petroleum. Not going to give hype to pollution and carbon gases. Like the games are ‘t fixed to begin with. And with that all the fans and the beer drinking men lost some pride, again. Oh, no, the masculine spreading and hoping for toxic waste. You lose.

Where’s my boyfriend(s), i want to defy nature, and get fucked tonight. And then feel disgusted with myself and a shamed, so i desire more. Afterwards.

Tarot… whats the point of temperance. You meet the devil and you lose anyway. Fuck inhate tarot.

Shame on you for wanting the oilers to win. Go get shame fucked. Even though its just a name and has nothing to do with sport. But that diesnt matter to the magical world of rainbow land. Shining your true colours after being stormed through and through.

Think i need another covid injection.

Cheers to suffering for the rest of my life with no one. Just me and enemies. Cause i won’t do it. I don’t want to be alive anymore. 25 straight years of being beaten in and manipulated. Vicious circle. I was born in hell.

Wonder what being human feels like. ´ast thing i want is a life based on sex. Thats all the world is. Sex and abuse. Im done.

I’m done. Im not talking to or being friendly with anyone anymore. I tried. Tried for 30 years with my family. But that was a waste of life. All

Life does is try and rule over me and cause me harm. Àways did. Always will. Im

Done. I dotn want to be alive anymore.

Ok, its back to being a concrete game plan. Again. With this added pressure. It may just pull through.

[weedeaterisback]

I was born with a extra chromozone that fucked me over with the ability to speak or WRITE! And if you have seen how i write on my first day on discord. You realized that my writing on the document is more of a 3rd grader.

"2: you bring up the fact that they called you mentally ill (literally one time i think) constantly. yet you also call snail two faced. nose a fetishist and a pedo (its implied dude), the entire 'effin mod team narcissistic, and probably more!"

Hmmm... Maybe its because that Snails is a TWO FACE and Nose a fucking fetishes because he cannot keep out his fetishes out from any game he has ever made. Literally any old fans before votv can fucking confirm that he inserts his fetishes and talk about around minors on discord. And it is not fucking implied that he is a pedo. I literally said in the same fucking document that I don't think he is a pedo! Have you forgotten or did you ignore it? And to compare it to call shit about a minor (which they are fully fucking aware about) mentally ill or disabled? They've been doing that before the document. And because of them I see fucking idiots calling me that while they try "debunking the document" to people who believe me. 3. You misunderstand on what my point on 'growing up' but that is on me because of my fucking dumbass ability to fail to proper explanation of ANYTHING. "Refusing to accept criticism? what criticism? you cant act like an expose doc is criticism. you were borderline dehumanizing him, not really criticizing him in any way other than calling him a million different ways of saying "irredeemable creep"" This guy has been already exposed to fucking argue anyone who criticize or fucking delete it entirely. It has been exposed already about how itch comments that criticize his game in any way gets deleted.

"7-A: when you say things like this, all I see is that you are very angry. It isn't a coincidence anymore. You're pissed. It's a nothing burger of a point and only showcases that you are pissed the hell off." Nothing burger. Of course you missed all the recent shit that has happen. 1. Refusing to ban an exposed pedophile from their server. A member has exposed a pedophile, who has sexually harassed multiple minors, in their server and brought it to the mods. The mods did nothing. And than that member sent me the dm and me and the victims brought it light. Now the pedophile is gone from the server (unsure they were banned or just left). 2. Fucking abusing the Russians from their server. Now there is this big separate drama because the mods and nose has been mistreating Russians. And now been exposed by a russian youtuber who made a video and even reference my document. Где рутина, Там и Сиськи... | Voices of the void (минусы игры и не только игры) (youtube.com) 3. Actively choose to ignore their fucking fanatic defenders going around harassing people who supported the doc and spamming gore into their dm. And they are aware of this happening because two or three people has brought this to their attention. One being a itch post which got deleted by the mods and the others were a discord user and twitter user who told him about this. He fucking ignored them. 4. Actively insult anyone who is against him And there is so much more I can't list here because that will take forever. But because of this drama that I've been contacted with multiple patron supporters who came to help me find more evidences. "7-C: you made a point in your doc about nose always playing the "Tee hee I was just joking bro" card, but that point is completely null and meaningless if you were always... Just joking. Right?" That does not excuse fucking publicly sexualize their characters in a public full of channels.

"8: This comment sums up my stance on your doc well. (Also all the positive comments called you the world's best guy for some reason? That's odd.)" They are fucking kids from gamejolt going onto my youtube to call me that. They are not my fucking alts because it requires another email to make another account which I DO NOT HAVE. And these comments have grammar worst than mine.

[eiichiro]

@frailuta

https://frailuta.tumblr.com/post/643228771329196032/i-am-considering-leaving-tumblr-forever-i-guess

@ tumblr user frailuta i have evidence LMFAO i cant tag u bc u have me blocked cause of what happened between us back in 2018? i thought you’ve changed but nope. 

anyway here’s the old document.

i’m fucking done with this shit. dont you dare play the victim card. also non-content creators dont interact especially since you guys don’t know how much work we put into this. you don’t understand. you would never understand unless you’re a content creator yourself.

currently im making a new document with all the evidence but i cant stand this anymore. the AUDACITY. i cant believe it.

https://frailuta.tumblr.com/post/626351215537782784/twitter

“ I have to vent on my blog for a moment again, sorry. This person stole my work and put their name/watermark on my stuff and now it has over 200k notes. They were asked nicely to delete it but they keep refusing. This is so frustrating. ;-; “

“You did nothing wrong. Even if you copy someone’s work but give them the credit it isn’t stealing at all. Other people need to stop being so offended when their stuff gets redistributed (with properly citing them and if their blog doesn’t say not to repost it), especially if it’s a GIF. Like, what? Don’t you worry about them and if they block you then all the better. You don’t need toxic/ insecure people in your life.” Please tell this to frailuta too. LMAO she also complains about that. tumblr user frailuta stop getting offended when ur stuff gets reposted on twitter dot com THE ANIME ISNT URS!!! (note: im being sarcastic)

BTW if anyone wants to block her, her blogs are: theunrequitedlover, gaeillis, frailuta, frailrice, ikechai, frailutas

[strandedcrow]

They decided to break up because they didn’t want to be known as a group anymore. Before that they got a thread made on them that blew up of some members, prominent ones like Nico, being homophobic (the one who said those things was a gay man but dude you literally joked about burning gays at the stake and people who live in countries where that can be legit punishment called you out about your privilege in saying that and you played the victim card and wasn’t sincere but whatever) and playing at the oppression olympics (saying stuff like black people cant be racist towards other pocs). I hope the decent/good people in RBGC are doing well and honestly I hope they all grow to be better

yeah to my knowledge a lot of them are young, and they deserve to be able to grow in a healthy environment, and that groupchat with its infamy and toxicity is not a healthy environment

there is no “gay card” to be pulled when being homophobic towards someone, and i hope they’re able to learn that (among other things) by looking outside of their immediate circles

slight correction: at least 3 of the 4 most volatile members are adults so. here’s to hoping they get their shit together holy fuck

[nightwingvixen23]

Pairing : DamiJon fanfic in their later teens

Little Vixen Side Note : Wrote this piece a few nights ago when I couldn't sleep and came across the dark version of Cant Help Falling In Love; which is what I wrote it to

Cheeecckkk ittttt ouuutttt

A speeding bullet of black, yellow and green. He blew ahead of me in a chase throughout the thick of winter. Skeletal remains of my heart began to drop, all signs of epic violence tittering around us in pursuance of the two malefactors we had just minutes prior unmasked who's carnage stained hands were laying hell into the legs of a screaming woman, in attempts at victimizing her to a two-sided brutality. And though be as it may, with her browbeaten crying, this ambushed petite woman of golden curls had torn like a vicious feline to free herself from the drooling lock jaws of famished wolves refusing to die in this wasted city. Then she'd stopped. She'd turned her head towards us. And it was with that act of final defeat, the deadlock of her blue eyes onto Damians, that had been a tethering of empathetic steel.

In that moment, I'd witnessed the city burn within his eyes. A revival of Pompeii, humans choking on ash; and it was by his hand that carried out was this biblical apocalypse. I mean, you can only stand to see so many weeds in your garden before getting tired of yanking them out by hand and simply just mowing over it all to start fresh.

I'd numbly watched Robin free the woman who'd scurried down the dark street (purse and shoe forgotten like a broken Cinderella) and analyzed where the rules of these unbidden streets lingered any longer ? A wasted land left starved of God's Love long ago, and so us as his children are outcasts in regards to just how mortality works. This is The Devils playground now where we've adapted into calling out Love, not by the blossoming virtue of a budding rose, but by the cut of it's petalless thorns; where the only splash of red comes at the blooming of our own blood. 

What else to do with pain than to make it our art form, our very own self worth. To turn it into a purpose and to make that purpose something beautiful.

⏳...⌛

A park.

Swings creaking with a glacial slow breeze as ghost children play games on the teeter totter. White fluff born from clouds shroud lost personal belongings from humans long past through, and will overnight, do it's best, to shroud the two bodies lay dead 'mid this park's jogging trail.

He stands between them; The Sympathizer, a crimson splattered god in which no Olympian can put a name to crowned in injustices and liberalizing duties.

Crows form a murder beneath these dark skies, dancing and entangling above our heads. Something cruel. Something elegant. Something in harmony with what I behold here and now; because somewhere off in Gotham City this man, that I've fallen in a surprise trust fall for, remarkably kept a young woman home-free tonight. Not from duty. But from instinct.

"Robin.."

He turns to me.

He sheaths his sword; and he smiles.

He smiles at me through tears.

He smiles at me through red blood.

He smiles at me through falling snow.

He smiles at me through the antagonism; and that has to be the most beautiful thing I think I've ever seen.

Regardless; i still wonder what chamber door, dusted with years of abandonment, had finally been gifted a hand to open it's rusted impasse come with what we'd witnessed tonight. What poisonous blend leaks out this door to flood his veins and pour fever into his eyes; clouding his vision against a better form of judgment on justice that has two miserable assed men, twice his size, laying slaughtered like pigs with him standing noble between them both ?

Even though the winter wonderland park is dead quiet, I've never in all my existence heard so much noise. So much all at once while staring at Damian, just now realizing that he'd removed his mask long ago: now raven's stare with deadly ink eyes in jealous passion at the too black fullness of that jet hair filled up in a shaven bun. Cat's whine in envy at the feline-like features of this clandestine face. Jade gems rust in sad defeat before such green eyes. He's the pristine vision of Talia al Ghul (nothing about him is Bruce anymore aside from the cut of his jaw) housing 9 lives amidst 100 secrets.

"I love you," like the many times I've voiced it before, it gushes from me all soft and rushed.

"You love me? You love me?? Don`t," and there is coldness in his stare. Floating all the while amongst the arctic, I've struck the iceberg. Sinking under. Cracked in two. And I've got to say, the embrace is haunting.

"Why."

"It is true that the lion coddled the lamb beneath its purring chin, bustling with a protective big paw. Be as it may, unbeknownst to the onlookers, once turned away; the lion gorged on the lamb. Feasted upon its frail body only to lick at its bloodied carcass and keep it close by. Not in memory, but as a trophy; for the lion`s former coddling of the lamb was nothing more than animalistic curiosity.

"Do you not realize Jon that we are all animals, you and I ? Instinct drives us, some however are more lethal, some run in packs, some run alone, and others...just….run." green devours me. Green tears through my flesh. Green swallows me whole. Perhaps I am but being gorged upon by the starving lion.

His lips curl into a sadistic sneer despite the tear tracks on his face and I'm all but floored by the fabric skin of this demon that everyone's tried to give a halo, "I will rip you apart, little lamb."

"Then by all means," I grab his hand to wrap it around my throat, it's cold but his grip is tight and his lips on mine are hot, "take my neck to slaughter."

Five fingers tremble in innocence against my throat; a golden token of humanity, honesty and clemeity. Making my wonder

just who really here is the lion and who is the lamb? Then he bares his teeth, rabid and wild. I bare my teeth back, standing ground in the middle of our Eden turned Jungle. Then our lips meet again. Our teeth clash. We fight to force the other into submission though neither backs down.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe, he is but a lamb that learned to evolve amongst the lions. And could it be that I am but a lion having learned to secret himself amongst sheep? Maybe that's why him and I fight more than find common ground, for the foolish costumes we were taught to wear in order to cover up what rightful creatures God bore us as.

We are different and the same whether it be his purity or my hidden away corruption.

The volcanic eruption of his anger and soothing temperament of my ocean meet. 

They form an isle.

A match to an ignition causes an inevitable explosion. But, sometimes, that match plus ignition can give birth to fireworks rather than a bomb; we've just gotta be patient and count to 3. I count to 2 before seeing the spark. And right at 3 comes the crackle then pop, a raining shower of diabolical color transcending the stark black sky.

Who ever would of known that 4th of July in the middle of December would  look so much like Heaven waging war with Hell.

                                               ⌛...⏳

No one is home execpt for me to answer the chipper knock at the front door on the next sun smothered day, and the florist that greets me is happy to do so.

In my hands I'd received my gift of a crimson rose bouquet;

and while up in my room i'd read the card written on with an elegant gothic flourish:

                     My Little Lamb.

These three words made the wool wearing prey in me seek sanctuary, and yet, caused the dagger toothed predator in me to roar.

 *END

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 4, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

Little cool detail about the series was the glitch in the matrix or here it refer as deja vu (as what Nari says later in eps 14/15). It happens when someone crossed the portal, the two world colided, makes Eun Seob could feel the heat of Jo Yeong’s coffee even when they came from a different universe

The beginning of this eps also is my favorite scenes, where JTE keep thinking of Gon because now he is gone, and her trying to figure out whether he is telling the truth or not, somehow its like a lie, somehow its kind of true, she kind of believe it but kind of think it did not makes any sense. Then she flashback to the moment they spend in bamboo forest. Eventhough the conversation they share here was just normal chit chat like when you wants to know more about the person you have interest with, it shows me development in both feelings. Gon ask JTE why she wants to become a police then she says “not everyone can be brave, so i decided to be” Gon thinks she is cool, probably because she knows exactly why she choose the life she is. While watching this i also facinated and thinks that this girl is, cool. Then JTE ask Gon what kind of a King he is, he said “he is a rower, a mathematician, well grown orphan, the owner of four tiger swords, a king who has never been asked such question and try his best not to panic” because as he said he is born to be what he is, not having option to choose other thing. I dont know why but this scene and their conversation made me shed a tear. Especially the last part of Gon’s answer. It was like both shares honesty, its very raw. Loved it.

Back to present, King is back to the palace. What i like about this scene is when PM says that she cannot do math and that her answer was always 0 or minus 1, and that her answer was always wrong. I interpret it as she was wrong again this time and cannot prove the King is running away. That is why she said the result is always wrong (thank god Gon come home in time). Another think i hate from her is she crossed the line many times and being fake. Here we can see her fake laugh and also crossing the lines by saying that King was indebted to her. I love how Gon clapback to her 👏🏼 and damn Gon facial expression was great, kudos to the actor for acting it good.

We got some subtle clue that Gon’s was actually doing “bad” in military 🤓 and that he has some sort of trauma because of the strangled on the neck he received back in 1994. A glimpse of KSJ. I love this kind of detail. Something that i dont think was important is the scene where both detective helping to catch the thief. I mean i get it, they probably wants to show the normal life of the detective, but they can just stick to Lee Sang Do’s case. I hope that we can just cut that scene and change it into something that could made progress to the story? 😬 just my 2 cents.

Anyhow, back to PM Koo. After she get rid of that rude congressman, she dare to come to Prince Buyeong and offer him a position. For me Prince Buyeong was portraying a royal character very well. I can feel that He is classy, well mannered and educated. He says he stay loyal to the King. But here i got an impression that probably many people other than PM trying to shaken his loyalty to the King all the time. Because he has many reason to hate the King to be honest. And upon watching it, i am also afraid he will someday will become a foe. After this intense conversation with PM the scene moves to conversation with King. Which i love a lot because it is added the tension to the viewers of how much burden that Prince Buyeong need to bear on his shoulders.

I felt such a bittersweet feeling of this conversation, they started with a joke about marriage but then Gon seriously asking whether his uncle never once hating him for separating him from his family. I assume because of the treason, the royal family made many restrictions to prevent possibilities of another treason happen. And Gon saying it with a really guilty voice, which made me feel his sadness. He is just a victim but he is forever feeling guilty for everything. Poor boy. But apparently he is asking his uncle to be honest and not to hide anything about this:

Seeing the conversation between Gon snd uncle makes me realize that Gon is having insecurity problem. Because of the trauma that we saw earlier, it affected his character. Not only a ptsd but i bet he always feels scared and cant sleep well everynight. What cruel life, also his love life, coming from a different universe. I seriously cried watching them longing for each other in the library, damn you Gon, JTE and Maze ! Preach to the genius behind the idea to make this scene. Plus we could see JTE finally try to find out about the parallel universe. Its indicates that she wanted to try to understand him and actually cant get Gon out of her mind. Distance really do make the heart grow fonder.

You know, i love KSJ much right? This episode shows a sad life he is living. His mom cannot stop gambling, he is a police. This eps shows us him coming to this gambling place where his mom got a lot of money and catch the ajjosi who owns the place. I love this line of him “mom please look carefully. Taking money from a jerk like this makes me a joke, i cant work as a detective anymore and have to quit” then he let the police also take his mom to prison and he cried downstair. Damn i love him. Great characterc great acting. Made my heart hurt. And also now we finally got to see KSJ mom doppelgänger.

Then we get to see why JTE need to issued a new id card. Destiny is playing or shall i say the flute 🤓 Then the wicked evil uncle finally realize time stopped was the effect of his nephew crossing the portal. I should have said it earlier but the cinematography and the music everytime Lee Rim shows up was great and probably my favorite in the series. And this bad guy who plays Lee Rim was born to play it. He is so good and act his character well. Same as what i describe Prince Buyeong. Damn i love royal villain.

To be continue..

[jion0222]

Professor Jang

You are failing, what should you do?

Doomed, that’s the perfect definition of you, you are failing calculus and you’ll be graduating soon, looking at your watch, “Damn it” you whispered, you are so late for your English lit. class, Your professor is extremely annoying and strict

Suddenly the books you were holding fell and you bumped on to a guy, “Aish” the guy said as you looked up, scared only to see your professor in calculus, Professor Jang

“Oh what a surprise Ms, Lee” Professor Jang mocked you, watching you picked your books as you stood up and bowed to him

“I’m so sorry Professor Jang” you whispered, head looking down, you couldn’t feel but get annoyed, now you are really gonna fail

“Shouldn’t you be in class Ms, Lee? Why are you wandering around” Professor Jang asked you, arms crossed, suit perfectly fitting his arms

“I need to go to my class Professor” you excused yourself, quickly walking away but stopped as soon as you heard your Professor shout your name

“Meet me later at the faculty, We need to talk about your grades” With that Professor Jang left you, walking towards his next class

While in your English lit, class you couldn’t help but think about Professor Jang, He’s older by 10 years but he still look extremely young, and he looks extremely handsome too, with prominent jawline and his ooh so perfect body, He is a bit stiff tho, the way he speak or move he resembles Alphago a bit. But that makes him extra adorable, Every girls in your Calculus class likes him, And everyone knows he is single, When all of his colleague are married or taken, suddenly your thoughts are shattered when your English lit professor called you

“Are you done daydreaming Ms Lee?” Professor Eun said, face annoyed with furrowed brows, He resembles grouchy the smurf,

“I’m sorry Professor Eun” You bowed, After a few scolding he dismissed the class, not before giving you a judgemental look, Again you apologized as you went out, Rushing towards the faculty room, You knocked, once twice and you heard a voice said “Come in”

There sits Professor Jang with Professor Kang, both of them talking and laughing as soon as they noticed you, both acknowledging you by nodding, Professor Kang excused his self as he smiled sweetly at you.

Professor Jang stood up, walking towards the door and locking it, you looked at him with wide eyes as he smirks, Sitting on his swirling chair, he gestured for you to sit down infront of his table, you nervously sat down, hands sweaty already

“So you have an idea on what were going to discuss?” He curtly asked, intensely looking at you, with his chin resting on his right arm.

“I’m failing calculus..” you whispered softly, looking down, afraid of even meeting his eyes, you heard a chuckle, making you even nervous

“I know, we both know you are failing” he reminded you, calmly saying it, his fingers started tapping his table, you didn’t know why you are feeling hot at his finger tapping, “You have any suggestion? On how you’ll pass” he added

“Projects? Extra activity?” you suggested, looking at him hopefully

“That easy? It’ll be unfair for the others” he stood up, carefully walking in front of you, now that he is in front of you, you couldn’t help but notice that he is hard, his bulge perfectly showing on his fitted jeans

“what…should I do then..professor?” you looked up at him, eyes fluttering at the way he looks down at you, his tongue wetting his dry lips, that alone made you wet, his hands now playing with your hair, carefully caressing that silky brown hair of yours, Finally knowing what he wants you to do, and how you are so willing to do it even if he still fails you, amazes you

“Do I still have to instruct you on that Ms, Lee?” He hissed, hands now grasping your hair harder, your hands now unbuckling his belt, carefully setting it down to the floor, he grunted at the way you touched his clothed dick, now unbuttoning his jeans, slowly pulling it down with his boxers, His hard dick welcomed you, The way it sprung to life made you even wet if that’s possible cause you are so sure you are soaking wet and it might have even wet the chair you were sitting

“Professor Jang, Will I pass now?” you asked him, Slowly stroking his dick with both your hands, He looks at you, chuckled darkly

“Only if you perform it well Ms,Lee” he said, he moaned when you licked the tip, his taste, just like how you imagined it, So good, carefully licking each veins from the tip to the base, down to his balls, sucking his balls like how you would suck a candy, He is now fisting your hair hard, moaning softly, scared other students would hear them

“Suck it” He demanded, just like how he would demand you to work harder on his class or to listen well when he discussed, And being a good student you are, you suck him, wrapping your luscious pink lips around his hard dick, Suwon now thrusting deep into your mouth, making you gag, would occasionally let go and lets you relax for a few second just to shove his dick in your mouth again, you couldn’t help but moan on his dick, it sent vibrations to him

He pulled out from your mouth, gesturing you to sit on his table, after pushing some things away, maybe even breaking some you sat on his table, unbuttoning his suit, you couldn’t help but admire his body, the 6 pack abs he has, His hands now working on your dress, pulling it off you together with your bra, And god knows how long have you been dreaming to this, He finally kissed you, kissing you hard with so much want and need, biting your lips asking for an entrance, you willingly opened up for him, tongues fighting, sucking, you moaned between the kisses, hands on his neck pulling him closer

You pulled away to breath, but Suwon has another plan, kissing your neck down to your breast, gently sucking on them, and pinching the other, you covered your mouth afraid to moan loud, you reminded yourself you are still inside the faculty.

While he is feasting on your breast, his free hand went down, pulling your panty to the side, his finger –plays with your clit, loving how wet you are for him, now grasping his shoulders tight, he inserted a finger in you, slowly moving it in and out, adding another one in the process, closing your eyes because of the pleasure

You felt empty when his fingers left you, Opening your eyes only to see him putting a condom on, he lazily smirked at you, pulling your neck for a kiss, slowly inserting his dick

“Fuck” you cursed, couldn’t believe how big he was, he stretch you to tell, it hurts

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking concerned, he stopped moving

“Hmm” you nodded, tapping his back, silently asking him to continue, and he did, pushing his whole length inside you, both of you moaned, loving how he filled you and Suwon loving how tight you feel

Suwon looked into your eyes, asking if he can move, you answered him with a kiss, now you feel him thrusting slowly, with his eyes close and low grunts, you bit his shoulder, whimpering

“Professor Jang more please” you begged, you honestly sounded like a slut but who cares, Its Jang Suwon who is fucking you, you’d honestly do anything for him to fuck you hard

“Eung” he hissed harshly, now thrusting 3x faster than before, table now shaking hard, creaking, thinking itll break if he goes even faster, His arms under your legs, pulling you closer and finding the right angle

“Aaaah professor jang!” you moaned loudly as he hit that one spot that made you see cloud 9, he kept on hitting that same spot, hard, harder at each thrust, now you became a moaning mess, Suwon kissing you hard afraid others will hear you, your nails digging deeper on his back, noting that it’ll leave marks

Both of you feeling rushed, now nearing each others climax, pulling away, looking into each others eyes while moaning, you cant help it anymore, you came first, eyes closing in pleasure,clamping hard on his dick, moaning loudly, not even caring about if others will hear it

“Damn it Ms Lee” Professor Jang moaned, After a few hard thrust, he came, pushing deep into you, grunting in the process, now calming down, he pulled away, kissing you lightly

“Fix yourself Ms Lee, Professor Kang will arrive soon” He calmly informed you while throwing the used condom in his trashcan, offering you a tissue to wipe yourself with while wiping his table

Now in a panic, you quickly fixed your self, looking at the mirror, noticing your neck is full of red spots, you looked at Suwon angrily, he chuckled at how adorable you looked, now in his pants, he walked over to you while buttoning his pants

“You still looked lovely, Don’t worry” he teased you, unlocking the door behind you, kissing your head as he tried to fix your hair

“pffft” you pouted, annoyed at his tactics, but what can you do? You can never get mad at him

He offered you a card, You looked at it and noticed it was his business card, You questionable looked at him

“Call me after my work ends” he winked, as if on cue, Your music professor, Professor Kang came in, Looking at the both of you, sensing something happened but didn’t dare say anything….For now

You bowed to the both of them, Saying your goodbye as you went out, Sunghoon looked at Suwon and laughed hard, “You son of bitch Jang Suwon” sensing his death as Suwon looks at him like what a serial killer would look at his victim, He ran out as Suwon ran after him

“Jiwon hyung!!!! Help!!!” He shouted towards the English lit, Professor, Suwon stopping abruptly, scared of their hyung as he adores Sunghoon so much.

“Fuck off” Jiwon pushed Suwon away as he wrap his arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder, Sunghoon being the tease he is, Playfully showing his tongue to Suwon.

“Stop it, fuck to the both of you” he annoyingly said but then remembered what happened a few minutes ago, Smiling to himself, he went back to his table, now finishing his work to meet you even sooner.

[ashechatvent]

Why I Hate Conservatives / Alt-Right

POLITICAL POST

For most of my life, I didn't want to be or get political. but as life has shown me time and time again. I have to be political because now it isn't 2 groups of people debating about the economy. It's now 2 Groups of people debating my will to live. Now it's either The Worlds Largest Genocide V.S. Equal Rights. No, really sad that's all, That's the 2 Sides in U.S. Politics. It's honestly so bad that I want to join the Michigan Independence Movement. As long as the Q / Conservatives are in charge (because it would just be Nazi Germany but worse). The worse part is that my parents are conservative so I have first-hand experience of the Insanity that is Conservatives. It's so batshit insane like they think there going to be attacked with "culture." it's nonstop fear-mongering and I hate it. Why cant they just leave us alone. It's so bad it's to the point where either be open about yourself and risk getting killed or beaten near to death in the middle of the street, or be silent. I don't like that our lives have to be like this. it sucks because of them, and you want to know what's worse? They think we're PEDOPHILES because we want to be ourselves. Like somehow being ourselves is PEDOPHILIA. When it obviously isn't like that at all. Hell, this group of people has made it their goal to beat down people who are open about themselves. Even some resorting to stuff like lynching, or rise Trans suicide rates. Having the percentage be some goal, and the higher it is the better somehow, and when they inevitably raise the percentage they link it to us somehow and not themselves who made it their mission to rise it in the first place. It's so evil. Just pure evil and every day remember. They wake up like the government is after them because a social media website decided to ban their account, harass trans people, complain about how society naturally changed by calling us snowflakes, and call us petty. After all, they made people cry or kill themselves for just wanting to be themselves, and the scary thing is that there totally fine about this and also to let people know. The sad part is that before 2016 people like this were the minority in society. But somehow they became the majority of society. Like Racist isn't calling themselves Racist anymore, now they're calling themselves "Race Realists" like they know everything about race. Or there not "transphobes" there "Gender Realists." This shit makes me so sick. That sometimes I want to just punch them in the face. But I can because I know they would want it so that they can play the victim card. It's like one giant cult. It's no longer about 2 groups of people who believe in differing ideologies, it's now Equality V.S. Genocide, and I don't want to be here caught in the Cross hairs while there debating my right to live.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh

oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.

-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still

-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)

-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?

-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)

-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)

-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump

-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)

-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence

-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙

-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??

-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen

-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked

-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo

-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬

-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)

-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂

-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)

-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs

-the collector 🎵👌🏻

-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts

and lastly:

-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON

-random thoughts-

these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in

•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain

•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin

•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔

•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)

•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)

•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)

•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?

•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings

•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?

•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah

•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)

-dad talk-

•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way

•nancy + carson : suffering

"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting

•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :

•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him

•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative

•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc

*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)

•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma

•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?

•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable

okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘

[myvoicenottheoneyougiveme]

Something to be said of what’s happening:

By virtue of the fact that I reject “this” (and the person(s) authoring it by extension) and I call it what it is, I leave but one option for myself in “this” manufactured reality. There is only one way for our Queen and Savior to handle that fact.

Unable to escape the fact--unable to indoctrinate me into the shared delusion--there is but one choice for the person(s) putting “this” on. If the record must read harm and crime, if “this” must be known for what it is and the author unable to escape that fact, it CANT, CANNOT, MUST NOT be a reflection on said person(s). If “this” is evil, it cannot be a reflection of the author of “this” but of the person it’s being done to.

My, our, Queen and Savior is not what is wrong with “This” picture. There is nothing wrong with “this”. If there is, it’s because there’s something wrong with me. If “this” is harm, if “this” is crime, then it’s not because a monster is at the wheel; it’s a monster it’s being done to. The Great Invalidator here to threaten her reflection by virtue of his mere existence and insistence on being a person unto himself. We must put an end to his rampage. We must contain and control this great threat to all that is good in the world.

It cannot be, a reflection on the person making all of “this” possible. It has to be a reflection on the person it’s being done to. Short of my spineless cooperation and allowing this sponsor of my life to have their way with me, there is no remotely reliable way to avoid the beatdown via anything and everything (and everyone) within reach at any given moment. It’s a given. I am what is wrong with the world. Our savior needs only fill in the blank with whatever she can cobble together at any given moment.

It’s a given. Tell us how it is today. Tell us again tomorrow. Change your mind in a week. Shapeshift the plot lines. Create a new reality on the fly. Improvise like a person holding up a house of cards that without “this” great monumental effort blows over in the breeze.

By virtue of the fact that I reject and refuse to be moved from my own lived experiences and how I feel about any of it... Oh, it’s all for me, but what it does to me, what I actually think and feel is such a damned inconvenience... but it’s for my own good, and you’re here to tell me what that is.

“This” is abuse. I reject it and its author. The only way for she/it to handle that reflection is to make it a reflection on me instead. The more I remain adamant and refuse to EVER allow myself to be dragged into her/its shared delusion again, the more the author must, MUST, make evil of me.

I throw gasoline on the fire in which I am being consumed every second I remain unmoved and unyielding to what is being done to me. There is no other way for her to handle the reflection. The one person she needs most to control, she must do so by another means, via everything and everyone within reach.

And when she couldn’t control him anymore, she needed a replacement.

Lucky me.

It’s too simple, but it is that simple. Forget the supposed vague and non-descript “crimes“ I ever supposedly committed. They’re no better than every passing daily detail weaponized to service her narrative. Whatever can be cobbled together, doesn’t matter. The most benign and useless information, everything is a weapon. Everything. Everyone.

It’s very simple, and unlike what is leveraged against me, it doesn’t need held up and modified without end. It requires no special understanding. It doesn’t even require a fancy name attached to it.

I reject and refuse. The only way for the author to handle that reflection, is to make it a reflection on me instead. I pour the gasoline over myself. The author has no choice.

Actually the music video for Alt-J’s Hunger of the Pine, seems to take on a lot more relevance suddenly. ...It’s been so long.

Edit: for reference

Edit: re next morning's response via my "mother"

Or you know, since there's supposedly two of them (or more depending on the day, but two most consistently) the one plays a hapless innocent pawn/victim roped into "this" the same as me, while the other plays a totally distant and disinterested mere facilitator of these events.

There is a special understanding, however, when it comes to the methods and means. And the one putting it on gets to appear as though they aren't themselves really involved. So it was said of the puppet show coined "flying monkeys" which is itself a reference to the Wicked Witch of the West. But she'd rather be known as "Dorothy" so...

This charade of course shapeshifting when it's most convenient. Let's just pretend that the countless other times these two have signaled standing as one or being on the same team, never happened. And didn't happen yesterday either, however subtley (which wasn't plain enough to take note of in own record keeping).

Shapeshift the plot lines.

[marxiehodgeheg]

Death Note (2017)

okay, so I just watched the Death Note movie and damn that shit was

WILD

so im just going to compile some small notes about how bad and how much they fucked Death Note like fuck man

Please Note: there are going to be elements of spoilers in this list so if you are planning on watching Death Note (2017) be aware (but in all honesty please dont watch it just watch the 2006 Anime Adaptation I beg you, I am doing you a solid)

lets begin

ok so first off, this shit is americanised so of course there is a buttload of whitewashing because if you didnt know Death Note is Japanese and set in Japan and the characters are Japanese - please. 

Light Yagami is a good boy™ so like how dare you make this shitty bad boy - hes doing other peoples homework please no

the Death Note lands right next to him - um no the Death Note lands 10 feet away from Yagami and outside his classroom stop this

also it starts raining right after he picks up the Death Note - spoooky

white!light finds some bullys who are obviously over school age and so he pulls the child abuse card on them if they were to hit him - he gets decked anyway. 

he gets caught with the homework and put into detention and oh no the light went out - creepy factor™ to the max - so spooked 

oh yeah, did i mention that this film is rated an 18 

so of course theres been swearing and cursing from everyone, even Light - sorry not my Light 

best part of the film was white!light shitting himself when he see Ryuk like yes 10/10 A++ content would watch that scene again

white!light also slaps himself and i wanted him to do it more 

theres more swearing, i mean i had to settle in for a wild ride with fucks and shits throughout this whole film, but like the anime was only a 15 

also Willem Dafoe as Ryuks voice was pretty cool, had a nice ring to it but anyway 

he goes to kill older bully because Ryuk says he wants to (obviously hes hesitant) but cant 

legit words from the film “i dont have a pen” Ryuk pulls out a pen “well its good you have one” im yeLLING

he writes older bully guys name down but oh no, Ryuk tells him to write down how so guess what 

HE CHOOSES DECAPITATION IM SERIOUS YALL THIS IS HIS FIRST KILL NO HESITATION JUST WRITES DOWN DECAPITATION LIKE WHO FUCKEN WROTE THIS 

FUCKEN GORE TO THE MAX YOU SEE THIS GUYS HEAD BE FUCKEN RIPPED FROM HIS BODY BY A TRAGIC ACCIDENT LIKE FUCK 

by this point i was already like #NotMyDeathNote i mean 

dad is introduced, but where is mother and sister - ill tell you where - non existant (mum is dead and there was never any sister) 

MORE SWEARING >:(

theres still apples tho and Ryuk still loves them 

white!light reads the Death Note rules (well he actually skims them but okay) 

comes across some scribble and sees a not “dont trust Ryuk”

HE PRONOUNCES IT RYE-UK NO LIE IM LIKE HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU NO ITS RYUK PRONOUNCED REE-UK FUCK YOU

its okay tho because Ryuk comes out and shuts him down with the correct pronunciation like yas bitch you tell him 

ALSO LET ME LOOK AT MY MAIN MAN STOP PUTTING HIM IN THE DARKNESS LET ME SEE HIS FACE NOT JUST HIS EYES 

Ryuk suggests shark attacks on the toilet as a not possible example of death - Ryuk i thought you were better than this 

angry scribbling of names - damn white!light is mad 

AND ANOTHER THING WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HEART ATTACKS LIKE HE JUST KEPT SPECIFYING THE DEATHS - NO THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU DONT NEED TO JUST KEEP WRITING THESE SHITTY DEATHS

you get one look at Ryuk and damn, my man you ugly im sorry they did you like that

okay back at school, watching the team practice and guess what 

HES GOT THE DEATH NOTE AND HES READING IT IN THE OPEN IN PUBLIC - BITCH PUT IT THE FUCK AWAY

OH BUT WAIT A GIRL SEES HIM - SHE NOTICES IT AND IS LIKE “oo Death Note whats that” AND HES LIKE “nah its nothing™” 

BUT IT GETS BETTER 

HE TELLS HER ABOUT IT AND LETS HER READ IT AND SHOWS HER HOW IT WORKS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON - MY LIGHT WOULD NEVER DO THIS 

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS CHICK IS BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES AND SHE KNOWS HIM SO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO WRONG - WHO IS SHE?!?!?!

so new girl who im sure is supposed to be Misa Misa says to white!light “lets change the world together” and so these words obviously go straight to white!lights dick because theres sexual tension in the air

“can i kiss you?” “youre not suppose to ask” 

she just fucken pins him to the wall shes making him her bitch and theyre kissing ugh my eyes hurt 

cut back to school and they in class and they looking at each other like they fucked 

then theres more kissing like fucking straight white movie romances am i right 

theyre finding a name for the God who will rule the new world

of course its Kira like what else is it going to be

“Kira means light in celtic” and then quickly “also its similar to the word killer in Japanese” like damn bitch i wonder why you quickly said that - oh yeah because Death Note is actUALLY JAPANESE 

im so fucjing done with this film 

but now the death victims are leaving perfectly written Japanese messages on the walls like this doesnt mAKE UP FOR YOUR SHITTY WHITEWASHING

news time: white boy feels special for getting lots of praise and attention for killing bad guys 

were suddenly in Japan in a night/strip club 

hooded guy is introduced - hes speaks Japanese - finally we are saved by the Japanese guy who I assume is L

nope L is not Japanese just speaks it just like in the anime 

white!light is suddenly angry as detective dad for getting on the Kira case like damn what is your damage 

Watari is here but he is not cute and kind looking like in the anime, i am disappointed 

white!lights dad talks to L on the laptop - but wheres the garbled voice???????

L is introdu--

L IS BLACK, I REPEAT L IS BLACK - ARREST THAT WHITE BOY BECOME POWERFUL WE ARE SAVED 

“rest your glutes” - true words from L. a real line in a real fim 

movie!L is just as good and cute as anime!L 

nope wait, he actually appears in public himself instead of a decoy - im sorry but i cant have this - not my L

he might have had his face covered and hooded but still - not my L 

WHITE!LIGHT IS RUDE - HE TALKS TO RYUK LIKE SHIT - TELLS HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOW DARE YOU I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM FOR THAT ALONE

finally found out Misa Misa replacements name 

its Mia

some cops walked off a building 

i kind of stopped taking as many notes by this point i was just not paying attention 

“if you fuck this were not the good guys anymore” - what part of killing people, be they bad or not, makes you the good guys? NONE

L and Light meeting in a cafe 

L becomes a cat and pushes shit off the table 

“youre the one who flew into the sun, im just the one to make sure you actually burn” - yooOOOOOOO L rekt u 

white!lights dad dares to be killed - Mia thinks about doing it but white!light stops her - she gets dumped 

she begs for him back 

she pulls out the i love you card 

it works because of course it would and theyre kissing again - like fuck no bitch you tried to kill my dad get the fuck out

Watari is targeted, his name is written in the book - LEAVE HIM ALONE

apparently people can be spared by burning the page with their name on it, what kind of bullshit

L is angry, he is so smad 

L GETS PINNED AGGRESSIVELY TO A TABLE UNHAND HIM YOU HEATHENS 

but another fault that L doesnt really get mad, hes actually a cool cucumber im sorry not my L

homecoming dance - really 

Mia gives white!light his outfit for it and also a hat with a note saying “i have it” 

have what idk

Ls old kids home is creepy™

white!light is wEARING A TOPHAT TO THE HOMECOMING DANCE WHA THE FUCK 

it was a decoy trick wow

oh no Wataris page is missing it cant be burned now, WATARI IS GOING TO DIE 

Watari dies before he can give white!light Ls real name HA

Take my Breath Away by Berlin plays at the dance - beautiful 

oh damn Mia actally outsmarts and FCUKS white!light - she wrote his name in the Death Note 

nope wait shes going to burn the page to bring him back fucking

she still fucked him over tho

L is still smad, but now hes got a gun and hes stolen a cop car 

theres a mangled L theme going on i swear

smashes through a “drive slow, drive safe” sign - good one L 

L finds white!light and chases him on foot

L IS RUNNING I REPEAT L IS RUNNING 

PARKOUR 

L IS DOWN AND OUT COLD IM 

now white!light has the gun

news flash: white boy is having regrets but white girl is living it 

its sad™

OH DAMN HE FUCKED HER OVER BACK IM YELLING

theyre on a ferris wheel and then it collapses spontaneously 

oh no white boy is having major regret about everything what a shame 

bye Mia, bye white!light 

oop Mia is dead 

L is okay 

white!light is in the water 

some random sees the washed up Death Note and picks it up 

white!light is in hospital - the random returns the Death Note to him

 memories of dead girlfriend™

father just now realised that his son is Kira

WHITE BOY SET THE WHOLE FUCKING THING UP - HE TELLS HIS DAD EVERYTHING LIKE FUCK HE MIGHT BE WHITE BUT HE FUCKING SMART 

L is still smad but now he had good hard evidence and proof of Kira

Ryuk is laughing and says that humans are interesting 

and then get this 

IT FUCING ENDS 

WHITE!LIGHT LIVES HE FUCKING LIVES AND LIKE IM JUST LIKE THIS IS NOT RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK NO PUT IT RIGHT FUCKING KILL HIM YOU COWARDS AND LET L LIVE 

but its okay because there are “funny bloopers” in the end credits 

more mangled L theme

im now watching the original 2006 anime and all is well 

Death Note 2017 whats that? 

[koharri]

18th may 2020: upset/disappointed

listening to: nothing

for suhoor we ate chilli flames loaded fries. before i went to bed dispatch released that jungkook, eunwoo, jaehyun and mingyu went out to a restaurant and to a bar mid april. they had to write formal apologies which really frustrated me, why’re they having to apologise for something any other ordinary 22 year old korean guy would do? it makes no sense. they aren’t even under lockdown restrictions. i slept at 9 am and woke up at 12 am bc of this loud ass lorry going by our house, honestly made me jump not gonna lie. then i occupies myself by watching fired up for the 245th time, i move the part where coach says that the fountain of troy is prohibidado. then i spent hours on tiktok (i wish i was kidding) then my mum needed me to write down what we needed from TJs wholesale on paper so i did and they went to get it, however it was closed and came home but they bought me the jelly tubules that i like to freeze!!

n e ways i then my mum was going on about how her weight loss isn’t going well and i told her that eating a bowl of cucumber and yoghurt isn’t going to work miracles. she was like what am i supposed to do then, and i said why don’t you try drinking water in between bites when you eat so that way you’re not filling up on pure food, she got mad at me saying that it’s very unhealthy to drink water whilst eating and i googled it, it’s actually beneficial for digestion. she said that her theory was right and i was wrong, i tried to reason with her but she wouldn’t listen to me, so i pulled away when she tried to give me a kiss on the cheek and went to my room. she had an attitude all night bc i was ‘being disrespectful’ i got past that though and started being friendly again bc i honestly couldn’t be bothered. we had rice and curry for iftar.

after that we watched a police force show and this domestic abuse call came in and my parents were saying that she deserved it bc she’s voluntarily choosing to not report the guy. i kept quiet and suggested we watch ‘murdered by my boyfriend’. after watching it my mum said that it was the woman’s fault for not leaving him and when she did, she took him back. i told her if the clear emotional abuse he was causing her but she denied it. she said that she deserved it bc she chose to keep the baby when he mum advised her not to. basically turning this into another shitty life lesson which was completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. once it finished i couldn’t keep my mouth shut and i sparked an argument, my dad of course took my mums side, i brought up multiple examples of where people had been bungee ale but they kept finding excuses to defend the perpetrator? allah help me if i’m ever in that situation bc i honestly would have no one to turn to. they said that if domestic violence occurs, you should sit down and reevaluate your actions and try to be better for the other person, i can not be the only one who is sane in this house.

as the night continued i confronted her about a lot of things like when i was a child my mum would make me apologise to her, even if she was the one that made me mad, or else she wouldn’t talk to me and would completely shun me out from the family bc i had to apologise for ‘what i had done wrong’. and so the other day i pulled the same card on my brother. he held a grudge for no reason and i said that if he wants to be cool again he should apologise. my mum said that he’s my brother and we don’t do that with family, so what was i? was i not family as a kid? i am an adult, i’m not longer 9 anymore, i deserve some fucking respect too i’m human also. she then played the victim by saying i’m no angel bc she feels like she can’t confide in me anymore bc i don’t help her.

the other month she asked about the weight loss again. i spent hours watching youtube videos for excersises/stretches that are suitable for her arthritis but will aid her weight loss as well. she turned down my efforts when i finally found a proper routine by saying she’s too lazy to actually go through with it. i also helped her with a diet plan, one that wouldn’t restrict her cravings or mess us the family’s meal plan, she disregarded that too. and she still wants to call me out for not helping? she asks, i offer advice which she doesn’t follow through with. what else am i supposed to do? how else am i supposed to help her? WHAT MORE CAN I DO PLEASE

it’s like talking to a brick wall. no matter how hard i try i cant get through to her, bc i will forever be a child in her eyes. i’ll never understand the real world’ and i need to accept that at this point.

[v3-killing-harmony-imagines]

V3 cast as Traitors

this hurts me to write because I remember the second game traitor :((

-mod Saihara 

IMPORTANT!:  I wrote this as if the reader((y/n))was part of the killing game, and may or may not the the s/o. It’s up to the reader 

this is way too long , so for the anon who asked, imagine is under the cut

Kaede:

she’s the what?

the traitor?

no... how 

how is it that the girl standing in front of you betrayed each and every one of you 

Angie, Himiko, Ouma, even Saihara 

everyone 

she helped everyone of them die 

all this time she was telling everyone to not give up.. and now this?

she’s been found out...now what’s going to happen to the remaining students?

the remaining students just stand there, in horror 

and the bright look in Kaede’s eyes are gone, every hint her previous self gone as she talks about how naive everyone was

“Too bad, this is the ending Shuichi died for.”

your numb, monokuma is laughing-he’s won and he knows it 

then a piano starts to play- but it’s different. Its as if the entire piano is set to a minor scale, making everything sound dark

its a mix of flats and sharps you hear at the end, and then your world goes dark

Saihara: 

he’s smiling 

smiling as he betrays everyone 

smiling as he kills Amami 

smiling when everyone find out how he really is 

he’s disappointed of course, but he’s glad he could pull of a trick of that caliber!

and your left screaming 

he promised 

he promised

he promised

he promised that he’d protect everyone, he promised Kaede that she wouldn’t have died in vain

he promised 

and he lied 

you ask him why.why.why.why.why.why

and he gives you a look of pain

“I just wanted to feel alive.”

and monokuma is beginning the execution.

he’s not the same detective that you met in the gym.

he’s not the Saihara you knew

he takes his hat off, and looks at you.

 he’s smiling 

and then its over 

Maki: 

her hair is flowing in the night sky as you find out.

and she frowns

how very,very bad of you to figure it out 

who tipped Angie off

who knew about Korekiyo’s past

she was a caregiver

loved by kids

not very sociable 

and has a bad personality 

she’s sighing as she knows what needs to be done 

dispose

she can’t be found out

she needs to stay alive 

“You’re a pain, y/n. I knew you were going to be a hassle eventually.”

And she hits you and you go down

you realize that you passed out when you wake up

but something’s different 

your tied up

and she’s the only one here

she brings you food. And even reads to you.

She keeps you safe.

She trains you until you follow her every command.

even if that means dying 

she lets you see other people now, a smile on your face as you cant feel anything

looks like Maki has a trump card up her sleeve 

Kaito:

He’s the fourth murderer  

he didn’t plan on being the traitor, of course but he had no choice 

he was blackmailed

that’s why he had to tell Mokokuma about the plan

Mokokuma would have killed the person he loved

He couldn’t let that happen 

he had to 

Everyone is voting for him, what do you do?

you suddenly realize why the trial-room is this big

why the murder was the only one that knocked the victim out before hand 

You can’t look at him when everyone votes correctly 

But he’s desperate to look at you

you can tell he’s trying so hard to get your attention

but you know what?

you’re not about to give it to him.

so when he finally speeds over to you as monokuma calls time up, you brush him off

“Get away.”

and he’s so hurt 

his eyes are as deep as the night sky, every twinkle of stars gone

finally with choking breaths he manages:

“I just wanted to protect you.”

You keep your composure until you get back to your room

then you break down

because he knew someone had to die, and he chose himself over you.

and you couldn’t even comfort him in his last moments. 

It hurts you sosososo much

almost enough to die

But also enough to get revenge

Iruma:

It makes sense, she’s the ultimate inventor 

She’s the only one who could have upgraded those machines monokuma controls 

she’s the only one who could have helped plan the new motive 

she’s shaking on her podium when you finally figure it out

but you cant do anything about it? can you?

she isn’t the killer and no one can trust her now 

so what’s the point ?

she says she did it because she just wanted to get out of here alive.

she didn’t like anyone here at all. She just wanted herself to live.

and now your whole world is shimmering 

and you realize you’re crying 

what was it then? your yelling now. 

why did she spend time with you then? When she hated everyone in the first place?

she tries to defend herself, saying she doesn’t hate you guys...

“But you’d let us die to save your fucking life.”

your voice is full of malice 

She Told you that she enjoyed being with you

how could have been so stupid?

And then Monokuma steps in.

What good is a spy that’s been found out?

and then she realizes whats going to happen 

she’s going to die anyways.

and shes crying and pleading for someone so save her.

no one will

you watch as the light drain out of her eyes, just like she watched the light from Angie’s eyes fade.

and your glad she got what was coming for her. 

but now there’s an even bigger question 

Who killed Iruma Mui?

Kiibo:

The first thing monokuma does when you find out is to laugh

Kiibo-Hope,Huh. How ironic 

he forced Kiibo to kill

he forced Kiibo to gather information 

and now he’s forcing Kiibo to kill the remaining students, in front of their eyes

Kiibo’s ares are glowing a deadly red color as he blows up Katio 

No emotion 

and then he takes down Shirogane with a blade 

You want to run, but you can’t

no one can defeat an AI

you cant move. its impossible 

your trying to remember the shy robot you met the first day

and now he’s choking Tenko

The doors are locked, everyone is trapped in this arena 

Gonta throws Kiibo to the other side of the room

there’s the crunching of rocks and metal before Kiibo gets up again

and he cuts Gonta, blood spraying like snow

and now he’s coming after you

and you just.cant.move. 

Kiibo lifts the blade for the final strike 

but you don’t feel anything.

reason being Ouma took the blade for you.

Ouma. Of all people.

He’s been impaled through the stomach. 

You can see the fear in his eyes as coughs blood, some of it dribbling down his chin 

He falls. 

You’re the last one alive, covered in blood and forced to look into the killer’s eyes.

Ouma saved you. But that only extended your lifetime by seconds 

You don’t have the energy to cry.

Kiibo brings the blade up, covered in different layers of blood.

“Any last words.”

he states it in a monotone voice.

You don’t really have your thoughts straight enough, so you just tell him what you’ve wanted to tell him. 

“I still believe you can be human.”

He actually falters

and then your world goes red.

but you wouldn’t doubt it that Monokuma will be able to control Kiibo for the next killing game 

Himiko:

She did it for you

You were always the one to find food when you two were hungry 

You and her were the only family to each-other

You made sure she got enough to eat

Even if that meant giving all your food to her

You were both together ever since both of you were abandoned 

and you survived 

and now you, the SHSL scavenger, has to watch as your sister is found out to be the traitor

Now people are saying that you could possibly be the traitor 

“NO!STOP! I’m the one who’s the traitor here! Leave y/n out of it!”

some people still look skeptical but they watch as you approach Himiko

“why?”

“I had to pay you back for all those days where you made sure I was safe, even if that meant putting your life at risk.”

Tears started to well up in her eyes

“ I didn’t want to do it. But it was either me or you. I needed to, i’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

and then your crying, and crying and crying.

she’s not your real sister but hell, she’s the been more of a family then your real family ever was.

and you don’t want her to leave you. nonononono.

who’s going to keep you company on cold nights when the only thing you can think of is how cold and hungry you are?

who’s going to preform magic tricks to help earn money?

the only member of your family is going to die. Your terrified 

You cant let go of her, if you do then it’ll be the last time you ever see her.

Your yelling at Mokokuma to please,please please please please please don’t kill her. Anyone but her.

But she knows that she has to go.

It takes both Tenko and Gonta to pry you away.

Himiko gives you one last look as monokuma is yelling that its punishment time 

She places her your hands, giving a weak smile.

Your being pulled away, your throat is raw but you couldn’t care less.

She’s just about to be dragged off when her face contorts and tears fall 

“No...I don’t want to die.”

And that’s the final strike for you.

everything goes dark

you don’t come out of your room for days, Tojo brings you food and water but your not hungry 

It takes you weeks to realize she would want you to get out here.

Make the mastermind suffer.

so you finally go out.

You can deal with the grief for now.

Until you can get out of this game.

Korekiyo: 

he’s bored by the time you find out

I mean come on, it took you that long to put the pieces together 

everyone is yelling at him that they won’t trust him anymore,that he’s going to be suspected of every single murder now.

“Really, when did I ever said that I cared.”

He tells a story

A story about how he was always a pawn

how he worked for his mother, obeyed every command 

he sharpened his talents. He obeys his owner 

He was bought, and was put into this killing game to make notes for his master.

He doesn’t care if he dies or lives, he’s even working with the mastermind.

he confesses all of this at once, leaving everyone speechless 

the only truth he ever told was that he loved humans 

He’s been intrigued since day 1

And that’s why he’s in here

To study their behavior 

To know them better than they would know themselves

And if people die, the better.

Because it shows humans their true personality  

His eyes cloud over as he talks about his master, he won’t ever ever ever ever eeeeverrr betray them.

And that’s why the mastermind is letting him say this, because they know he wont say anything, even if they torture him.

‘Ahhh, but alas, it seams as if my master doesn’t even remember me. You see, they also decided to join this game, how wonderful of them.”

And the room drops a few degrees.

because now even monokuma is confirming it, one of these people alive is the mastermind.

.......

and you wonder.....

just mayyyyyyybe....

that your part of something that you can’t remember.....

Angie: 

nihahah!

your right! Its! Angie!

she jumps up in down in various poses as she is convicted of being the traitor. 

Angie?

How is she, the most energetic person in this entire game... the traitor?

She’s laughing, as if someone said something funny

“ Angie told allllllll of your secrets!”

but..why?

what would she get out of betraying everyone?

“you are are so silly!Angie didn’t betray you!”

she sold everyone out she told the mastermind everything that they were planing. She sabotaged the escape plan.

“You DIRTY LITTLE SON OF A-”

thwack

and Kaito is down  

“neh heh heh! Don’t get too close Momota-kun~”

She didn’t kill him, of course. But he’s injured.

“Hey... Angie-san... what do you get out of going this?”

and now she tilts her head like you’ve just asked her why humans need air 

“Isn’t it obvious? God has made it this way!”

God?

“It’s God’s will for Angie to be the traitor! So Angie trusts in God!”

everyone is shoring her glares, because really?’ she’s going to use that excuse?

you might as well ask...

“ Hey Angie, what is God’s will for us?”

She gives you a darkened smile.

“God can’t hear you.”

And she leaves the courtroom.

Gonta:

h...how? How could someone like him be the traitor?

In fact, he doesn’t know it himself

what! He...... he....betrayed everyone...

Oh no..oh no oh no oh no.....

Because he didn’t mean to

he didn’t know that saying that would help Monokuma... he really didn’t 

And then he’s crying because he never ever meant to hurt anyone.

and just because he accidentally told monokuma about the hidden hallway..

now all the information about the outside is gone

everything that would tell them how to get out is gone 

and of course, people are angry

they yell at how he messed up

how he’s useless 

how no one’s going to trust him now 

and it makes your angry 

everyone is yelling and Gonta is crying and shaking 

and its when someone calls him dumb, you snap

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

well that got everyone's attention. 

“I DON’T SEE ANY OF YOU BRINGING UP THE FACT THAT ALL OF YOU WERE TOO PANSY TO KEEP STALLING FOR TIME. OR MAYBE THE FACT THAT GONTA WAS TERRIFIED TO TALK TO MONOKUMA. OR THE FACT THAT HE MANAGED TO KEEP TALKING FOR A FULL 20 MINUTES.”

your breath is coming in raged inhalations

“AND THE FACT IS THAT  YOU CAN’T JUST BLAME HIM. EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WERE TOO GREEDY TO WAIT YOUR TURN TO GO ONE BY ONE IN THAT HALL. YOU JUST ALL WANTED TO GET OUT OF HERE.”

your dragging Gonta away now, away from these sick people 

“If you need us, then too bad, we’re not giving anyone help now.”

There were people that didn’t blame Gonta of course, but they still didn’t stand up for him did they?

he thanks you as you get him something to drink and some tissues.

everyone eventually apologies, Gonta 100% forgives them 

you, on the other hand are a different story 

looks like everyone is back at square one.

Tenko:

she’s the traitor 

the reality of the situation finally gets to you when you see her dead body

she just wanted to protect her family 

Monokuma had forced her to be the traitor

 her akido master, her parents her family.

They were all being tortured 

she heard them scream 

she had to 

she had to 

she had invited you over to talk the night before her death 

she asks what you think of her

“Tenko, it’s OK... I don’t blame you. I know that you had no choice.”

she’s crying 

thank you, she’s saying.

Thank you thank you thank you 

she’s so happy.

your don’t hate her. you don’t hate her 

you take her hands and tell her that you’ll always be here for her 

and then she tells you that she likes you

she’s grown to like the things you do, the way your hair is, the way you smile 

she likes you

but then she tells you that she needs to go... that she can’t be with her for much longer

You tell her to please, please please please be safe.

and she takes her choker off.

she hands it to you, saying that you can give it back to her in the morning, and that she’ll make sure that she can see it you again

you tell her that you want o be with her, you want to take her out for coffee once you get out of here

and then she asks to kiss you.

its soft and is too short, and when she pulls away she’s trying to be cheerful

that was just a goodnight kiss, she says, there’ll be more to come.

and then she waves you goodbye 

the next time you see her is the next morning, dead

and she lied 

you plant a goodbye kiss on her cheek before you leave for the trial, when no one is looking

and now your hanging onto the ribbon with the bell as tightly as you can 

she lied

with trembling hands, you put it around your neck and fasten it on

and the trial begins 

Hoshi: 

He warned you.

he warned each and every one of you to not get close to him

yet you still did 

how does it feel? To have hoped so hard only to fall into despair ?

Well, you can’t say he didn’t warn you

he’s done bad things in the past, why would he stop now ?

and now your crying 

because you should have known better 

everyone else did, so why didn’t you?

he asks you this as your sobbing 

“B-because I believe in everyone! that includes you!”

Believe?

that’s stupid 

“I Know that even the worst of people can change so that’s why-”

“Shut up!”

your’re punched in the face and go down

you feel a searing pain on your head, hot liquid trickles down your face

he just wants you to shut up.

you should be hating him, contorting beneath the despair 

but you’re not

because you have hope 

you tell him that he can change, you get punched again

and again

and again

he does it over and over

wanting you to hate him

wanting you to say mercy, just once 

but you refuse 

finally, your not moving

he’s done it 

he thinks

and then you move 

and now he’s crying 

because why

why wont you let him win?

and you refuse to fight back

and he can’t take it 

he runs away, like a coward 

he’s found the next day, hanging from the ceiling 

Toujo:

the first thing she does is apologize. 

apologize fore all that she’s done

she just needed to save herself 

she needed to return to the place where she has worked hard for everything 

she needed to do whatever it took to not get killed 

w h a t e v e r i t t o o k 

she’s sad yes, because she knows what failure means 

and she has failed

and she’s addressing everyone, and she’s not looking in your eye 

she’s not the type of person to loose 

so she must do everything she can to not loose 

she needs to do this, she says 

she’s sorry

and she runs away

your following her before you even know whats going on

and now you’ve lost her 

no,please no.

You run around, looking in the library, the kitchen, the dormitories. 

you can’t find her

finally, Shirogane tells you to take a break

you tell her to fuck off

more searching, more searching 

and finally you find her

she’s ditched the maid outfit 

it looks as if she;s been waiting for you

“I hope you didn’t have to come.”

and you can’t hold it in any longer 

you tell her she doesn’t need to do this, she can survive with everyone 

she tells you that it’s impossible, that Monokuma doesn’t like useless pawns 

it’s kill or be killed for her 

you won’t let her leave

so you call monokuma, after a while you two work out a deal

Toujo lives if you become the traitor 

you tell her that she doesn’t need to kill, your going to get her out alive

and maybe it’s because of the time you two have spent together, but she trusts you. 

she won’t tell anyone about the new predicament 

so you two make up a lie

about how she was being controlled

she has to act completely different now, but only around everyone else

they believe you

you keep her by your side 24/7

your going to make sure she lives. no matter what 

even if you have to taint your soul

Amami:

“It was a bit obvious, wasn’t it?”

He was the SHSL ??? After all

he was very much suspicious from the start 

and yet, everyone trusted him with open eyes

they even saw how his demeanor would change, how he somehow knew that it wouldn’t be as easy to leave the school

and now he’s the one left standing 

you yell why

he investigated with you

you two ate meals together 

you had eachother’s backs for the trials 

and he’s the traitor?

he... he helped kill everyone?

you just don’t want to believe it.

he tells the remaining students that they’re all going to die

that his ruler will kill them all

people ask him if this ‘ruler’ is Ouma..

he laughs 

“ As if someone of that level could ever compare to my ruler!”

He goes on, about how his ruler takes care of all his subjects who do as they are told

they are loved, they get food and drink

he tells them that he was offered the chance to help his ruler with one of their blissful killing games.

and of course he just couldn't say no.

he belongs to his ruler, that’s why he is here in the first place

he looks directly at you 

“ Now don’t worry, I don’t intend on killing anyone myself...I just might... help a little bit.”

he’s smiling the same carefree smile 

and then you notice that he’s wearing a mask

and the room is starting to get warmer 

now your friends are collapsing 

 and it hurts to breath 

and your eyes are on fire

now someone is dragging you 

...........................

you wake up in a white room

you cant move

And then a girl is above you

she introduces herself as.... mu...kro?

you can’t really tell, your hearing isn’t really that good

she tells you that you won.

the game ends when 2 people are left standing

you just happened to get lucky and not die until last 

Your going be soo happy

it’ll be you and Amami, the great leader has ordered that you two carry on another killing game in another country

you two will be lovers

partners in crime 

And you want to object, 

Maki, Kiibo... everyone 

they’re nobody anymore

you don’t have a choice

You either die a hero, or live to see yourself be the villain 

and you were forced to live.

Shirogane:

She denies it, of course

 it takes multiple pieces of hard evidence in order to make her confess 

and boy is it ever hard

your yelling at her, noticing the holes in her facts adn pointing out when she slips up

it takes both you and Saihara most of the afternoon in the trial room to get a conviction

she’s starting to sweat, and her hair is gradualy getting messier and messier 

and she starts pulling at it when you call her out on another thing

it hurts you, to see the person you thought you knew act like this 

but you keep going on

pressing further and further 

come on, come on

just one more thing 

one more and you could crack this entire case 

“kaede didn’t see the cloth becasue the body was covering it!”

oh no

it’s over 

“Shirogane... how did you know that the body was moved?”

“Isn’t that obvious, the killer stabbed the victim in the back, they would have either fell forward or landed on their side.”

“No. That’s wrong, you can clearly see that there was a hole for the knife to go into, the killer simply had to knock the victim down!”

and then it hits her 

shit 

she shouldn’t have said that 

and now she’s cornered

she snaps in the blink of an eye

her eyes glassy, reflecting a sea-blue spirals in her eyes

“I’ve been found out.”

She’s not talking to anyone, she’s just stating it for herself 

she doesn’t say much after that, and the voting goes smoothly

but now you realize the reality of what’s going to happen 

Shirogane, knocked students out and took them to the mastermind 

she was given protection

a fair trade 

but one of her plans went wrong

she did’t even realize what had happened until she had killed them

you sadly don’t feel bad

your sad that your friend is about to die, it hurts you so much

but she tortured you

for hours and hours and hours

you watch as the guillotine comes down on her head. 

and then you start to cry.

 Ouma:

the SHSL supreme ruler, is a sidekick.

the though by itself is enough to make you laugh

combined with the fact that he is working with the mastermind of the killing game that you’re in, it’s less comforting 

people had suspected him of being the mastermind, many many people 

and he turns out to just be a traitor 

but then as more people died, and everyone grew closer and closer to confronting the mastermind, Ouma began to act strangely 

he would have dark circles under his eyes when you saw him

he rarely showed up for the morning meet up in the cafeteria

he looked more panicked 

and then it was the final trial  

it’s just you, Saihara and kiibo that are still alive when you find out 

and instead of laughing in your faces, he starts crying 

the room is dead silent 

you can’t think straight, the idea alone of Ouma breaking down is enough for tears to start rolling down your face 

your gripping the poduim for dear life as saihara says the mastermind’s name in a shaky breath 

 it’s Kaede

saihara is devastated, of course

and as she pops up in a dramatic entrance and begins ranting on about something to do with hope,Ouma is still sniffling 

you can tell by the way he’s shaking that he’s trying his hardest to keep composed 

“OI, Shut up will you!”

as Kaede’s voice echos throughout the room, Ouma gives a small wimpier and shuts up

and hell, now you’re angry 

because how dare she 

you’ve been the one to protect him from the other accusing students, you always held onto that hope that he was a good person all along 

and she killed them all

amami, Tenko, Angie, Maki, Kaito, Tsumigi and everyone else 

they’re dead because of her 

and now your tears are gone

you’re filled to the brim with rage 

and you ask her why? Why would you do this?

she tells it all,she did it because she likes too

and Ouma?

he’s her slave

Ouma goes rigid at her words, you can see he’s scared 

you don’t want to believe it, but Kaede has evidence

and then she talks about her talent 

she’s not really the SHSL pianist

she’s got Ouma’s talent, she just let him ‘borrow’ it 

 Ouma is the SHSL slave

no no no no no

you don’t want to even think about that 

“Ouma, take off your scarf.”

he has to, he has no choice

and sure enough, there’s a collar there.

it’s not one of those old fashion ones, it resembles a shock collar

there’s red welts and purple bruises where it’s been pulled at

you want o cry out as Ouma begins to shake, because you just wanted to protect everyone, and you failed

Saihara and Kiibo have to both work against the mastermind, but you know it’s pointless

you are all found guilty for a non-existent murder 

Ouma saying sorry over and over and over

but what’s the point

this game was meant to kill everyone 

you’re sitting under a crusher when Ouma locks eyes with you

eyes full of fear and pain and the wright of the world in those deep orbs

“I tried.”

the press comes down in a quick motion

and you don’t realize anything 

[thelifetimechannel]

====>

[acelacealex]

so me and my sister in law are having... disagreements about LGBT+ stuff, this started with the new Beauty and the Beast coming out with her telling everyone on facebook to try and boycott disney yadayada they are pushing the LGBT+ agenda bleh(which hard note, i hate when the movement and we as a people are called “an agenda”). So i told her not to use my GS card anymore because if she doesn’t want to support LGBT+ why should i support her? ever since shit has hit the fan, mostly with her posts of pictures like “the older i get the more i realize its okay that not everyone understands me” and “Dont let someone dim you while you shine” you know playing the hurt damsel in distress. this continues on and on and i mention to her my hate of the word “agenda” in this with “We are not an agenda, we are people.” well she says it again later and i told her “do not call me an agenda.” and she says it in her next message. i was so angry but violence for the most part is against my better nature but to stay on the safe side i went to the bathroom. and i actually sobbed. now i’ve cried before in fact i do often but uncontrolled sobbing where i cant even control myself and how i act. when i went back to the living room thinking i was calm i went to tell my mother why i left so abruptly and i started again. now i always talk with my hands so i regularly am moving them subconsiously but so many times in this one moment i had pulled my hands close and covers my face or gripped my own hair. i have never been so passionetly upset. I quickly calmed down after i got it all out but my point stands that she is talking about loving and respecting each other and she cant even do me the kindness of not saying a simple word. so if she wants to put comments to play victim let her. but when she gets up she is going to see my brand new facebook icon in her feed =D _i can be petty too but im not going to be subtle about it_

[dollierotz]

gay people are constantly harassed, beat up, and even killed by people every day. there are still many countries where you can be killed and tortured for being gay. several gay people stay in the closet of fear of being disowned and abused by their family, and can even be afraid of friends who have expressed distaste for gay people. gay people have to worry about losing jobs, scholarships, and even their lives. slurs are thrown casually at us like the words dont mean a thing. if you think gay people are privileged, you are either homophobic or incredibly ignorant and stupid. you have no idea what its like to be gay, so be quiet because nobody wants to hear your opinions. being homophobic isnt okay. dont play the victim card and pretend like all these nasty gays are harassing you. we have the right to be distrustful of straight people because of all the cruelty that they have expressed to us. stop pretending that straight people are oppressed, grow up, and get on with your life. i cant believe that i have to educate what im assuming is an adult about homophobia. im sorry that times have changed and its no longer acceptable to ignore gay struggles anymore. smh.

GAY PEOPLE ARE INSANELY PRIVILEGED

change my mind