#you can't make friends if the only thing you care about is them caring enough to be your friend
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autisticandoddlyspecific · 2 days ago
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My contribution: Not only that, but get to know your neighbors and find any common ground you can. Support the people around you.
Humanity's greatest strength in my opinion is our ability to survive crises when we stand together. Not just literally in front of a government building, but support each other emotionally and materially in any way we can.
The people of Poland for example would not have made it through WWII if they didn't work together to survive day to day.
Whether you're anarchist, socialist, social democrat, communist, or just think republicans are nuts who can't be trusted with the country/wish you could be left the fuck alone, our TOP priority is surviving, so find any common ground as you can with your neighbors. A lot of union workers are actually conservative leaning construction workers, for example. Talk with them about advocating for themselves as union workers, and find friends and allies wherever you can.
As for me, I'm starting with my irl friend group. We're fortunately already close and meet up often, so I'm letting them know I am happy to help them with whatever I can. My older sibling will likely be going back to places they used to be a regular to and rebuild a group of interpersonal connections with which to survive, and we can connect our friend groups together to maximize support.
A proper crisis mode involves generosity and helping others as much as we can manage. Like, don't hurt yourself obviously, but taking care of one another makes us stronger over 99% of the time. A good group will also take care of you as much as possible anyway.
Now I know a lot of people on this site are disabled, so I will once again say that you only do what is possible for you, but if at all possible, try and improve your health. Going into a mini-crisis mode involves changes in lifestyle, and one thing is that many of us simply will not be able to afford poor health. I will see what I can do to put some much-needed physical activity into my day and eat nutritious meals so that my health is as good as it reasonably can be.
And finally, do allow yourself to mourn the future you hoped for, but taking action once it's a feasible option for you is important. My heart goes out to everyone this week, and I hope we'll be able to pull ourselves together enough to push against fascism.
no matter the outcome of this election: organize, build local community, build strength in masses. elections aren't the only time politics happen, it also happens on the streets, in the community and by mutually supporting each other.
the way forward is together. we build power from the ground up. in the US and everywhere else in the world.
a better world is possible and we can start building it now, by ourselves. anarchism starts in the now.
hack the planet
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yanmuffins · 2 days ago
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the way I screamed when you said you were going to write a fanfic about Phineas and Ferb reader-
giggling, kicking my feet, twirling my hair, squealing like a highschooler who just got their first crush-
aniway, more about the reader and Damian! think about the crazy adventures that the reader would drag Damian into, they way he would keep insisting that it was just so he could collect enough evidence about the crazy things reader did so he could get them busted, but deep down, they both know he was having just as much fun as reader was while blowing shit up, going into the space to steal back the moon, going into the past to see real life dinosaurs and etc
and when Batfam finds out everything, he can't deny that he misses when it was just the two of them and a new gadget Reader created to entertain them all day long
sad, sad ending... AND THEN THE SECRET OF THE PLATYPUS IS REVEALED
even the reader is shocked, but they are supportive and understanding immediately
In the corner, Batman is about to faint because seriously, how many more secrets will this family discover in the space of a week? First the only child he thought was normal in this crazy ass vigilante family turns out to be an engineering genius bordering on Bob the Builder crime lord version, and then he discovers that he has given that same child permission to build insane shit in his backyard and now, the goddamn platypus is an goverment agent and is an active member of the JL, and also, CLARK KNEW!
dear lord, i have a lot of free time (also, same anon from the previous ask, hi!)
context &. context.
hi, anon! ヾ(>ω<○)
damian and phineas! reader's relationship has so much potential!
tbh as upset as he initially is no longer being the only blood child, i don't think he would straight up bully reader. rather, he brushes them off after deciding they are, indeed, just an unworthy illegitimate child with no remarkable skills (stellar perfomance at school doesn't count. neither do all those medals, trophies and awards they won in science fairs and international competitions that they proudly display in their bedroom). he limits himself to passive-aggressive quips that go over reader's head, scowling, unwillingness to engage and be friendly.
they're not a threat to him – his position in the family is unperturbed, he still gets undivided attention from father and his other siblings while they apparently couldn't care less about the newest addition to the waynes.
until reader's first summer vacation in gotham rolls in. one day they're back at their old neighborhood in metropolis helping their friend sell lemonade and the other they're creating something called s'winter in bruce wayne's backyard. it's preposterous, dangerou, reckless, and he needs to tell his father. but then it disappears, it keeps disappearing, the family keeps missing those insane gadgets that are so obvious and he can barely stand it!
that's when he becomes glued at the hip with their sibling: the goal is to expose them to the rest of the family, obviously. he's dedicated to busting reader's summer fun at first, he still very much dislikes his sibling, the deluxe treehouse they built him is totally not cool at all, but... well. maybe they're not so bad. he won't admit it out loud, but it's impressive that they can come up with so many creative schemes and bring them to life in a day. and he's got some cool memories out of it too.
so when reader is busted, it feels... weird. now he has to share their attention with everyone else (as if sharing it with jon and your stupid friends wasn't bad enough), and the family wants to keep them cooped up at home when there's plenty of mischief the two of them could be getting up to outside!
also, yup yup yup!! this is a visual representation of bruce finding out everything, from reader to platypus. i think clark knowing everything might make him want to just go bluescreen mode.
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a-998h · 3 days ago
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hi could you do a yandere Adam,Lute,lucifer and Charlie x kid reader who is struggles with being social and keeps to themself(platonic of course)
ok, so for some context reader is a heaven/hellborn child.
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Adam
He's known about you for awhile
If we're following bibical sources he and Eve did have children, and Adam did mention "all of humanity came from this fucking nuts!"
So, you're not the first child he's dealt with
When the elder angels were making you, he saw glimpses and fell in love, even more if you look similar to human Lilith or Eve
When the elders were looking for an angel to act as your mentor, Adam jumped on the chance
At first, he was excited to bring you to all these fun things
Soon, your clashing personalitys make it hard
Though, the more protective he gets over you he uses it to his advantage
Does not try to make you more social
Uses you inability to be social to keep you close to him
Hates when you keep to yourself, he wants you to talk to only him and maybe Lute
Teaches you that you are better than the beings of Hell
When Charlie and Vaggie arrive for the trial, he keeps you away
Frames the Extermination in a way that casts Heaven and himself in a good light
Teaches you how to fly
Frames Lucifer and Hell as pure evil
Keeps you from every getting too social with people who aren't him and Lute
Frames Eve in an innocent victim
Makes you think he's the best guy ever and that Lute is a hero
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Lute
She is a bit like you
Adam had important meeting so he left you with her
You two don't really bond right away
She acts like your bodyguard, seeing you as something highly important
After many months of babysitting, she becomes like an overprotective mom
Keeps you away from things that she thinks are bad for you
Looks for ways to make you just social enough for a child
Like Adam, wishes you would tell her things
Uses somewhat harsher ways to make you open up
Helps you with boundaries in relation to everyone else
Also frames Hell, Lucifer, and Vaggie as evil that deserves to die
Makes sure you never question how badass and heroic she is
When Charlie and Vaggie are in Heaven for the trial, she keeps you away
She thinks even looking at them will corrupt you
You're her innocent baby and no one can change her mind
think of the Brooklyn 99 meme with Risa and her puppy Arlo, yeah that's how Lute feels about you
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Charlie
How you end up at the hotel doesn't matter
What matters now is that Charlie has taken the roll of "mom"
She introduces you to everyone
But, the violence of Hell and the Extermination makes her worry about you
Keeps you inside as much as possible
Loves for you to be more social
Is clingy with you
Keeps you far away from anyone or anything that could hurt you
Will sing songs with/to you
Is happy you're hellborn
You being hellborn means you can't leave her
Will use her power and status to keep you from moving out
Doesn't matter what demon type you are or which ring you come from
Keeps you as far from Alastor and the angels as she can
Might bring you around Rosy, only sometimes
Loves whenever you're open with her
Wants you to be friends with the "nicer guests"
Will be extra happy if you bond with your "second mom" a.k.a Vaggie
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Lucifer
When he first meets you at the hotel his mind goes "My beautiful grandchild"
Bonds with you
Claims you help his depression get better
Spoils you rotten
You're his only grandbaby, he loves you
Makes you a custom rubber duck
Is just as protective as his daughter
Makes you pancakes whenever you ask
Tells you about how wonderful Lilith is
Helps you make your own rubber ducks
Tears up in sadness when you're not open with him
Your shyness at first makes him think you hate him
Tries his best to make you open up more, with help of course
Gives you a thumbs up when you're more soical
Doesn't care about your class or demon type
Will defend that you're his grandkid
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quitealotofsodapop · 2 days ago
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I've sent a similar ask before, but in peachsoup I want to see everyone's reaction to Sun Wukong being named Peaches.
Nehza: *face palms.* No memories and he is still subconsciously pining.
Erlang: *on the floor laughing* It takes a special kind of simping to do it with no memory.
Macaque: *crisis because even with no memory, Wukong chose his nickname for him as a name, but also he's supposed to be angry about dying but peaches-*
Prev.
Dont worry about resending. My inbox is stuffed to the gills and I get lost in it. Also indenting doesnt seem to work right when im on mobile.
I ended up making a bit of character dialogue based on this ask between Peaches and his school-friend "Nez"
Nez: "So how did you get the name Peaches?" Peaches: "Oh! When Dadsy- uh dad found me and MK, he called me it because peaches were pretty much the only thing I ate." Nez, agreeing hum: "Make sense." Peaches: "Then when we were adopted, we needed new legal names - so Zhu Taozi it was!" Nez: "So... you never considered having another name? I mean, the legal folk definitely gave you time to think about it. Why did Peaches resonate with you?" Peaches, twirling hair in thought: "This is gonna sound weird... but I felt like it's always been my name." Nez: "Really?" Peaches: "I know! It sounds so weird! But when I heard it for the first time, it just sounded so natural. Like someone I care about a long time ago called me it? Nez, intrigued: "Oh... so you think it was a nickname from a sibling or a parent or...?" Peaches, confidently: "I think it was someone I was in love with." Nez, memory thread unlocked?: "OH. Oh um... how can you tell?" Peaches, blush creeping: "I don't know! When I sit and meditate on stuff like this, I can just imagine someone just so beautiful with this deep voice chuckling my name like it was meant for me." (*hugs his own body lovingly*) Nez, honesty touched: "Aww..." Peaches, little embarrassed: "I'm sorry. Thats sappy." Nez: "Nah, it's really cute. Who knows? Maybe it's a sign from Yue Lao about who your soulmate it. He sometimes uses dreams to push fated lovers towards one another." Peaches, tail swishing with excitement: "Oh my gods, you're right! It could be a premonition! I wonder if my fated one is as beautiful as I see them! Nezha, internally: "He can't remember over 2000 years of life, but he can remember what his mate used to call him. It would be funny if it wasn't so bittersweet."
Once Macaque gets back, it's hard to see where his face mask begins and end. Learning that even with his memories gone Wukong chose to be called "Peaches", sends the shadow monkey into a conflicted mess. He's mad about getting KO'd obvs, but "Peaches" is both a tragic example of what if Wukong had died (Peaches is almost his own monkey after all), and a revelation that Wukong never truly forgot his mate.
Erlang is laughing his ass off as all of this goes down. His third eye was just spitting patch updates to him one day and BAM; Wukong's mate is back, and just learned that his amnesiac mate remembered and valued his pet name enough to make it his new name. It's way too funny to keep quiet about. He tells all his sworn bros about it.
When Peaches' family realises that "Peaches" was the pet name his big bro's crush called him back when they were a couple... they think its really cute. But the bad boy still isn't coming over for dinner.
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uncle-fruity · 16 hours ago
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Also, like... I get that there is a lot of anxiety about being seen as morally good & fighting for everyone at every turn, but! Crucially, the people who try to guilt trip you or judge you off your Tumblr presence don't fucking know you. They don't know what you do off Tumblr. They may not know any other social media that you DO use for your politics and heavy posting. And, tbh, at a certain level of offline activism & direct action, it is actively dangerous for you to be posting about what you do online, so a perceived lack of interest or dedication online does not necessarily translate to the efforts you put in to causes you care about.
Fact of the matter is, YOU are the only one who knows what you get up to. If it's not as much as you think you should be doing, that's for you to assess and change. If you feel like you're doing enough, or if you feel like taking on more responsibility in activism would overwhelm you or burn you out, that's okay! You know your limits better than anyone else. You get to set your priorities. And if you really want to help with social justice causes, you HAVE to take care of yourself. Anger, fear, and guilt are not sustainable motivations to drive a movement. You NEED places to relax and have fun and not think about how bleak things can get. You NEED to have places to retreat, enjoy yourself, and remind yourself that it's all worth fighting for.
I know this, because I'm in my 30s now. When I was in my early 20s, I was friends with a lot of folks who went hard during the Ferguson protests, and while many of them are still active in their activism, almost none of them are operating on the same level as they used to. All of them are burnt out & depressed. I spend a lot of my energy urging them to take care of their most basic needs. We also have a problem with a lot of older activists being too broken & traumatized to continue organizing. And part of the problem is people within the movement encouraging people to push past their limits until they have nothing left to give. Or just having no support systems in place to help people recover while actively judging people who need them & can't continue without them.
And, like, it's hard, because it's easy to start feeling like no one cares about the stuff you care about when you're out there trying to make change -- especially true if all your activism is online posting & raising awareness. It can feel like you're talking to a void or a brick wall. The idea that you are so stressed & strung out & never let yourself take a break from the harsh reality of the world while there are people who have the audacity to make time to enjoy their lives and put their efforts into other activities that aren't directly related to The Cause -- well, that's why a lot of people resort to guilt trips. I know I did, too, when I was younger and freshly angry. And I know that those guilt trips did nothing to convince anyone of anything. In fact, it was the constant guilt trips that made me retreat from those online groups. Where they might have had any and all skills I could offer, they instead made me feel like shit for doing what I could handle at the time. And even though I knew guilt tripping was a major manipulation & abuse tactic, I still resorted to it and, in doing so, I felt wrong. Like I betrayed some of my core values by trying to make people feel so bad that they would suddenly realize that they should be ashamed & join the movement headfirst. It just... doesn't work that way. A guilt trip will turn people off. If you want people to join a movement or be more active in a movement they are already part of, it is so much better to encourage them to come with you to organized events or give them something tangible to do that they can actually accomplish. And if you're just talking about posting online, well... that is not the most important thing to focus on, and is a really bad measure to judge someone's morality.
All that to say, a guilt trip is usually a manifestation of the desperation folks are feeling. It's not right to guilt trip folks, and if you're at that point that you feel like that's the only thing that will get people to change and care, then I'm sorry to say you are probably on the verge of your own burnout and you need to take a break. Please don't let people make you feel bad for not being angry or on your activism shit 24/7. And don't judge yourself harshly when you need to have boundaries online. The best tactic will always be community building and working with people & their various skills on their level. Compassion and encouragement go so much farther than guilt.
No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
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theonlyhonoredone · 2 days ago
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Megumi BF Headcanons
Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Reader
Warnings: none
Summary: my idea of how Megumi is as a partner
Masterlist
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bf!Megumi falls for you quickly but keeps it to himself for a long time. He thinks it’s just a passing crush but eventually realizes his feelings aren’t going to change. It’s a slow burn and all of your friends are waiting for months for the two of you to get together. It finally happens at a party, a little bit of alcohol helping you to both overcome your nerves and finally make a move.
bf!Megumi is pretty insecure about his ability to be a good boyfriend and isn’t sure how to navigate things at first. He’s awkward about affection, never sure when it’s the right time to hold your hand or give you a kiss. The longer you’re together the more comfortable he becomes and the better he learns to express his affection to you.
bf!Megumi who is always taking care of you. He’s detail oriented so he notices right away if you seem a little down or off. He’s always going to try to remedy this whether that means buying you lunch or offering to stay in bed with you all day. He does a lot of little things to make sure you’re always well taken care of. Bringing an umbrella or extra jacket for you, carrying your bags, opening every door for you, any little thing he can do to make your day better.
bf!Megumi isn’t the biggest fan of pda. He’ll hold your hand and dance with you at parties, maybe a public kiss, usually only on the cheek though. He prefers to keep any sort of intimacy private, he finds physical touch very special and doesn’t want anyone else to see you two like that. He’ll never reject your advances if you go to hug him from behind or play with his hair, but he's certainly not going to initiate unless you two are alone. He’s not a very jealous person but if he is feeling jealous or protective he may put a hand around your waist or pull you to his chest. 
bf!Megumi who is a total cuddle monster the second you’re alone. It’s like a flip switches the second you two are left alone and suddenly he can't keep his hands off you. He wants you to sit in his lap or lay on his chest while he reads. He loves the times when you two can sit in comfortable silence and will soak up all the attention you give him happily. He’s a big fan of both playing with your hair and having his hair played with. He’s definitely learning how to braid or do other hairstyles for you so you can sit in his lap while he pampers you.
bf!Megumi is a homebody, he prefers to spend most of his time alone at home with you. Quality time is everything to him. He’s not picky about what you do together but he enjoys when you do a spa night together, finding it impossibly cute when you pin your hair up together and put on sheet masks. He also enjoys cooking together or any sort of little diy you can work on together. 
bf!Megumi is the greatest photographer in the world, and the most persistent. He is constantly taking pictures of you. From cute planned photos for your socials, to the most ridiculous candids of you drooling in your sleep. He finds them all endearing and will scroll through them on his way to and from missions. In contrast he hates having his picture taken and always manages to cover his face when you try to sneak one. The only time he enjoys having his picture taken is if it’s the two of you together. His wallpaper is always set to whatever cheesy couples photo you’ve most recently taken.
bf!Megumi who is incredibly sensitive under his nonchalant demeanor. He’s much more insecure than he lets off. He’s always worried about not making you happy enough and often feels like he needs to earn the right to be with you. He gets anxious during any sort of argument that you might leave and can often shut down because of it. In his mind he's preparing for the worst possible outcome. He needs you to be patient with him and take the time to talk about his insecurities. He needs the assurance that he in no way has to earn your love, he already has it, and that you’re not going to leave over a little argument. 
bf!Megumi who you have to push him to talk about issues sometimes, but once he feels more secure in your relationship is much more open and has no qualms about telling you when he needs some extra attention. Instead of shutting down he begins to listen calmly and talk through issues with a fine tooth comb. He'll listen very calmly while you present your feelings and take every word to heart because he truly wants to understand your side of things. He always tries to make sure you can come to a conclusion that leaves you both satisfied, whether it be something as simple as what to make for dinner or a serious argument over his seemingly constant need to summon Mahoraga.
bf!Megumi who will blush and shy away whenever you spend time doting on him. If you notice he’s withdrawn or seeming down you’ll make sure to shower him with praise and promise him you’re here if he wants to talk about it. It’s fills him with butterflies no matter how long you two are together. He's normally not one to care much for compliments but when they come from you they mean the world to him.
bf!Megumi who you often have to beg to go to parties or outings. He’ll always tell you it’ll be more enjoyable if you just stay in or do something just the two of you. He loves spending time with you and all of your collective friends, he’d just prefer a quiet game night or small dinner to a party or big outing. He’s always glad you make him go out though because he always ends up having fun. He’ll never admit it but he definitely gets fomo when he stays home.
bf!Megumi won’t talk much about your relationship with others, he’s very private in that way. He’ll post pictures of you sure, but the captions are rare and very simple when they are present. He knows that you know how beautiful you are and how much he loves you and that’s all he cares about. That being said he can't stand to have anyone else comment on you or your relationship. Nobara asked him if he even liked you after she deemed his birthday post for you inadequate and he replied in a deadpan that you were the love of his life and he’d kill her if she ever suggested otherwise. 
bf!Megumi who carries you to bed after you fall asleep on movie nights or in the car or anywhere else. If need be he’ll wake you up to help you get ready for bed but if not he’ll just tuck you in and curl up beside you. You often have to tear off the blankets in the middle of the night because the man is basically a space heater. Megumi insists on sleeping under no less than three blankets despite the fact that he basically is a heated blanket. It takes you a while to find the perfect sleeping arrangement for both of you. Eventually you settle on opening a window or cranking the ac and then curling up under a mountain of blankets and tangling your bodies together. 
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evenfallwriter · 2 days ago
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evenfall's aftg masterlist
(the masterlist's pretty much just have mood board's in them along with me talking about the au and throwing ideas around)
to be buried six feet under || presumed dead nathaniel au - au masterlist - let bygones be bygones ⇏ [🖋 ♥ ● ] [Nathaniel is both the best and the worst thing that has ever been given to Mary and Nathan, is the one to get injured as he tries to protect his brother and is left to watch strapped to the medical bed as Jean and Kevin leave the Nest. The first time that he allows himself to act selfish is when he joins the foxes.]
to be a fox || neil klose au - au masterlist - teach me how to be a fox ⇏ [♥ ●] - (currently working on it) ⚠ [🖋 ♥ ● 🗡] [Nathaniel is brought to death's door at his father's hands when he is 14 years old, after Nathan is cast away by Kengo. Stuart is able to save his nephew on time, but not having the heart to look at the boy who has lost his memories he ends up sending him to Germany instead. There, after an unfortunate accident, Neil finds himself getting adopted by the Klose family.]
those of fortune || fortune/chaos au - au masterlist - misfortune of the fortunate (rewrite) ⚠ [🖋 ♥ ●] - misfortune of the fortunate ones (old version - being rewritten) [In a world where humans are put into different classes based on their core energies, Nathaniel is a child of dusk, a part of the rarest class. Joining the foxes, a group mostly consisting of children of night and dawn is like a death wish for someone like him. Yet he still takes his chances, knowing that he'd rather die than let go of Exy, the only thing that makes him alive after all that he had been through.]
if we have eachother || mamma betsy & abby au / andreil different first meeting au - au masterlist - little oasis [● 🗡] - night's filled with hot choco and peach tea ⚠ [♥ ●] [Mary kills Nathan before leaving with little Abram, soon enough leaving the boy in the care of a friend of hers who ends up brining Nathaniel to an orphanage after Mary ghosts them. Neil is put into foster system soon enough, and in one of the houses he finds himself befriending Andrew. Soon enough, they both decide to protect one another from the rest of the world.]
all for the menu || the menu & raven nathaniel au - au masterlist - the fox trap ⇏ [● 🗡 ☁︎] [Nathaniel was never supposed to go to a remote island with Master and a couple of other Raven's as Riko's date, but after Riko's date dumps him and he can't go alone if he want's to impress his father, Nathaniel has no choice but to dress up as his 'girlfriend'.]
blood stained bare teeth || spies & hackers au - au masterlist - to hunt a rabbit ⚠ [🗡] - (planned) [♥ ] [The foxes are hired by Stuart Hartford to find the whereabouts of his nephew and to protect him, which is easier said then done.]
was there any truth to it, to the pipe dream that you once were? || andreil soulmates au - au masterlist - more than just a pipedream [♥ ● ☁︎] - (currently working on it) ⚠ [♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [Everyone had different marks left on their soul by their other half, something that bound the two souls to one another. And Nathaniel, he had his dreams.]
we can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here || espers & guides au - au masterlist - promises better left unkept ⚠ [♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎ ] - (planned) ⚠ [♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [In a world where dungeons, esper's and guide's exist, Neil is an esper who is hiding from the government with no memories of his past, while Andrew is an official guide of the foxes, who is searching for a boy named Abram, whom he can only remember the name of.]
we ain’t angry at you love, you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost || foxes time travel au - au masterlist - till forever falls apart ⚠ [♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [Neil dies in Baltmore, crawling in a desperate attempt to get to his foxes till his last breath. His foxes, who grieve him for years, who one day wake up in the past and decide to protect the redhead this time around.]
the martian au - au masterlist [≡ ♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [when he is just a kid, nat meets matt on the rooftop of the apartment him and his mother has been living in for a while. they are quick to become friends, and when matt shares his dreams with the younger boy, they soon become neil's too. their dreams are what ends up saving them in the end, giving them a much better future than the one that had been promised to them due to the life they had been born into.]
highschool/apocalypse/time travel au - au masterlist [≡ ♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [neil josten is the last man standing at the end of the world, surrounded by millions of zombies with no way out. when he closes his eyes he doesn't expect to open them once again, but when he does he finds himself 5 years in the past.]
normal & trans neil josten au - au masterlist [≡ 🖋 ♥ ● ☁︎] [neil josten is a nobody that finds himself in millport after running away from home. He decides to join his schools exy team after the coach finds him sleeping in the lockers, being in the wrong place at the right time. that all changes when david wymack comes to recruit him for the foxes along with kevin day and andrew minyard.]
transmigrator au - au masterlist [≡ 🖋 ♥ ● 🗡 ☁︎] [neil finds himself in the body of a side character that is going to die soon enough just for the sake of plot development.]
nobody's son, nobody's daughter || coach neil josten au - au masterlist [≡ ♥ ● ☁︎] [neil josten hasn't been a coach for much long, but he has still managed to charm the kids whom he looks after, and neil finds himself caring about the kids just as much if not more. he hasn't had much problems with the kids parents before, but that all changes when the kid that andrew minyard starts fostering, whom had been one of the brats that neil took care of before the kid lost his parents, is found in the locker s of his club again and again.]
short fics - devils come out when the sun goes down ⇏ [♥ ● ☁︎] [foxes + katelyn go to eden's together for halloween]
- t&n fic [???] [???]
SMALL KEY!
[♥ - fluff] [● - angst] [🗡- character whump] [☁︎ - hurt/comfort] [🖋 - canon rewrite] [⚠ - ongoing] [⇏ - on hold] [≡ - kevandreil] - otherwise it's andreil
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bfire92 · 3 days ago
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While I continue the work to finish my fanfic, I am still diving into the ether of this fandom and the works. So another little thing I started thinking of while on a walk today. We know that Garaki, the Doctor, told Yamada that Shirakumo was never the target for their attack. Aizawa and his quirk was:
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(From chapter 270) It's clear he did enough research either on beforehand, or after he got their hands on Shirakumo, to know that this trio was close. The Doctor even refers to Yamada as "Kurogiri's friend". Now, as it turned out, Shirakumo's cloud quirk and his personality was still pretty useful for the making of a high end nomu used to take care of Shigaraki. But the thing that kept buggering me, was why he didn't just try again? What was stopping the Doctor from setting up another attack, and get his hands on Aizawa and Erasure? And then I thought, maybe he simply was too difficult to find?
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(From Vigilantes chapter 65) In chapter 198, Aizawa tells Shinso that it took him SIX years to master the use of the binding cloth. He was by no means done learning by the time he graduated UA. Surely, it would be easier to take him down when he was recently graduated. Had he been anyone else, he would have spent a few years as a sidekick in an agency to gain experience. Which would have had him more easily recognizable, and not to mention, traceable.
Did the Doctor bide his time until graduation, thinking Aizawa would be easy picking as a sidekick, only to discover he was no-where to be found?
By the time Aizawa takes some spotlight again, in the Vigilantes arch and later on when he becomes a teacher at UA, he is experienced and has a network of people around him. And let's face it, Aizawa is very difficult to kill. When he is beaten up during the USJ arch, what happens?
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(From chapter 20)
Well, turns out even if you CAN knock Aizawa down, there is a whole bunch of people ready to interfere. (I really wanted to screenshot a scene from episode 13 here, where you see Shoji carrying Aizawa in the background, and Yamada stepping up in front of them to use Voice, but it's not a scene easily captured. It's not featured in the manga, but I sincerely wish it was. It's one of the few times we see Aizawa being behind Yamada, whereas most scenes of them have Aizawa in front. I can't help but think they added this scene specifically to hint at the friendship between the two characters. Also, isn't it a little f'ed up that Yamada gets this nugget of information from the Doctor, and then when all is settled, Kayama has died and Aizawa is in hospital? Did he even tell anyone about Erasure being the original target fifteen years ago? A lose thread that isn't followed up in the story ever again...) Any thoughts, add a comment down below!
If you want to add some support, go ahead and leave a kudos over at my fanfic: https://archiveofourown.org/series/4400791 (the final part 3 is on its way) And for everyone else, once I am done with my fic, I'll return to our scheduled Three Gods and a New Apartment.
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starrysmiling · 2 days ago
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actually i'm gonna put this on my main because if i assume i was tagged for fern it's an interesting thing to think about (no shade to avi btw)
now i'd say fern isn't generally a cold person, towards strangers he tends to be polite and courteous if not a little cautious. fern's sorta obsessed with the image he gives off, so he will usually try to err on the pleasant side of neutral if he doesn't know you very well, especially if you're business partners. for situations outside of work, he'll lose a bit of the courteousness, might joke around lightly a little. towards friends he gets the sarcasm, but even if he treats his friends a bit more roughly than strangers, it's by no means actually being cold. (and it's also important to note that both of these are still masks he puts on, and he needs them to hide how much he actually cares about the people he loves.)
and for the age old question: what would push him into being frosty? if you annoyed him when he was 16 then yeah maybe he'd be a bit of an ass but he'd also be 16. everyone's a bit of an ass when they're 16. (for clarity though fern's kinda in his push-everyone-away stage at 16 so he's a bit more distant more than anything; he'd only get annoyed if you approach him or provoke him.) in the present day though he'd probably snap if you fulfill enough conditions: he's under a lot of stress, it has something to do with feelings he doesn't understand, you're annoying him about something repetitively and refuse to understand, you hurt someone he cares about (there's probably more than this but i can't think of them at the moment.)
and then to the third part. i insist that anything he does for jax is also something he would do for his family. if he wants to bake a cake for jax's birthday, he would also bake a cake for his mom's birthday. if he buys souvenirs for jax on a business trip then he'll make sure he has one for his mom, and one for fresia, and one each for melony and ace. if you can read him well, he's actually very soft... he just hates showing it, thus the masks and everything. fucking bastard.
though if it wasn't about fern sorry lmao
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ar-cadez · 12 hours ago
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Negaverse Megavolt concept!
Design notes and personality rant stuff under the cut. Warning. It's long and unreadable.
The purse thing is a generator (Ill probably design it as a prop at some point considering It does NOT look like one but portable generators are hard for me to draw for some reason)
I swapped which eye has the white in it (even though I usually draw it on the wrong side anyway bc idk my lefts from rights..)
I wanted to make the darks very prominent bc the yellows are very prominent in the original
I went with blues bc it's the only other colour usually associated with lightning and electricity.
The teal parts of his outfit are lights! They glow when he's fully charged and fade out when he's out of power.
You can't see it in this pose but his hands have outlets on the back that work the same as megavolt's chest outlet. He can power weapons with them and charge himself without the pain of straight up shocking himself
I wanted to make his hair look like it's thinning out bc of age and repeated electrical damage but I wasn't sure how to do that so it's not really present. Did give him some white hair though.
His glasses are prescription! Can't see nothin without em..
Okay now some personality stuff!
Megavolt is the hardest villain to swap bc his personality is "insane guy with memory issues but is smart" and it's kinda hard to flip that around without just making him boring? Removing his intelligence when it comes to electricity would also negate his whole gimmick which makes things worse. but I do have a few ideas. It's ironic I struggle with him so much considering he's literally my favourite character...
He was popular in high school. He was friends with negaduck and they were both pretty well liked jock types before negaduck started doing major crimes (though I imagine he was always a delinquent of sorts. Just didn't start destroying the city till he graduated) clash reunion is a whole beast on it's own bc megavolt has the most in depth backstory which means a lot of reworking for a personality swap au.
His interests, like dw's megavolt, lie in magnesium, electronics, and engineering. The difference is, despite being Intruiged by these subjects, he didn't go out of his way to learn about the. He was more focused on his peers approval back then. Not to mention the fact that negaduck was an extremely toxic friend and would absolutely make fun of him constantly for it. (He doesn't even actually care, he's just an asshole.)
Eventually after gaining his abilities he began to study electricity and start inventing things. Only.. He's pretty bad at it. Things tend to backfire on him. Quackerjack has a lot more experience than him when it comes to engineering and he tries to help him out but the guy's kinda cursed. I haven't really decided if it's more dt17 gyro where everything he makes ends up turning against him or guy am I from the Netflix green eggs and ham show where everything he makes just kinda explodes. Maybe a bit of both. Either way it's very over the top and is more trouble than it's worth, but that doesn't stop him! (Oh God someone stop him)
I didn't wanna just take away his mental issues completely because the opposite of that is literally nothing. It adds.. Nothing. It just gives him less to work with. And it's already hard enough to do this guy. (Plus it kinda implies mentally ill people can't be heroes and that's.. Mm....) So instead I decided to change how he reacts to it.
He still has memory issues along with other physical and mental symptoms of electrical injury, he just really likes to pretend he doesn't. He completely ignores his deteriorating mental, physical, and emotional health <33
I wanna flesh him out more but I'd only be able to do that if I write with him and I'm fantastic at procrastinating my writing projects <33
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gyuluttony · 3 days ago
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gonna do something somewhat out there and out of nowhere. i just finished kinktober on my like... main wg account so i've missed doing kpop wg so i'm coming back with... zb1 SDFJSDF gunwook been attacking me lately so he's going to be the one feeling it now.
All-in
This is a feederism fic and features weight gain and unintentional weight gain. Don't like, don't read.
There was a dreamy sort of sigh that left the table in the library and it took one paper flying to cause the source of it to make an annoyed expression. "Yah! Kim Gyuvin!" The warm tone of Gunwook sounded a little more frustrated than usual as his friend held his finger in front of his lips, to shush him.
"You can't be too loud in the library, Gunwook~" The teasing tone almost made him jump over the table to show him who could be louder of the two before he felt the pointed gazes of the students around them and buried his head in his textbook, muttering curses towards his friend who barely had enough mercy to add quietly, "Just because Matthew hyung is here doesn't mean you should neglect your work."
His long crush on the older friend of theirs was something that was practically known by everyone in their friend group. And something that he couldn't help but get embarrassed about everytime someone pointed it out. He wasn't that subtle about it... and it wasn't aided by the fact that Matthew tended to treat him nicer than his heart knew how to react with.
"Gyuvin, I swear if you don't stop talking about it when he's this close by, I-" The words that left Gunwook were growing more threatening by the moment before he heard a loud exclamation. "Oh, Gyuvinnie and Gunwookie!" It was always nice that Matthew didn't seem to care about the negative glances for the loud volume but he only belated realized, offering a small apology and a sweet smile that no one could stay mad at as he approached.
"O-oh, hyung! Good to see you." Gunwook was severely underprepared for the way that Matthew sat next to him and leaned on his shoulder while Gyuvin tried not to laugh.
"H-hi, hyung." Gyuvin imitated his stammer which got a death glare shot in his direction before Matthew spoke again, "I didn't know you guys were studying here... but I brought some snacks for Taerae since he said that he wanted some." Gunwook tried his best not to visibly deflate at the thought before the snacks were placed in front of him.
"Huh? What are you doing, hyung?" Matthew stuck his tongue out as he added, "No one said he needed to get them all. I bought a lot so you can just have the extra instead. I know how much you love to eat." There was a pat on his head from the older man and Gunwook did his best to not beam before opening the box. Gyuvin rolled his eyes from across the table, texting someone about what he was witnessing in front of him.
While he dug into the snacks and made conversation with Matthew there were some things that came to mind. Taerae was a little bit on the heavier side. Not fat but chunky was a good way to describe him. It only made his dimples and smiles cuter and nicer to hug, something that Matthew was incredibly fond of. He had believed that Matthew was someone who had a crush on Taerae for a very long time... so maybe that was what he was missing.
Gunwook was a good gym buddy for Matthew... but what if he wanted something that was a little bit softer. Was that the best way to capture his attention? With a renewed vigor, Gunwook ate the snacks that Matthew had brought even faster, surprising both of his company. "Hyung, do you have any more?"
Gyuvin wasn't unaware to the way that Matthew's face seemed to warm up as he stammered for a response for a moment before furiously texting Ricky. They had made a bet on when something would happen between them after all but he couldn't really afford it to happen now... he was going to lose the bet.
"All I have is the stuff for Taerae... how about..." Matthew bit his lip with a smile that he was failing to hide. "I bring these to him and we can head out for something to eat?" Gunwook's eyes brightened before Matthew nearly stumbled out to get the treats to Taerae. Gunwook began to pack his notes while Gyuvin looked at him, "Seriously?"
"You told me to stop staring... so I'm doing something about it." Considering how smart Gunwook is, it should have occurred to him that Matthew practically sprinted back to him so that they could head out to get food while Gyuvin was trying to ease up Ricky on the bet so he wouldn't owe him too much.
-
As he jumped in his dorm room, Gunwook felt his face burn, feeling the way that the flab jiggled, trying to squeeze every possible extra inch of himself into the pants that no longer fit into his frame. It was almost like a dam was broken that day.
He had stopped going to the gym as much with Matthew but he was seeing him just as much, if not more. They were always getting food since Matthew excused it as wanting to treat his dongsaeng. But, Gunwook didn't realize that not working out combined with Matthew's constant treats would have results this fast.
He'd already let out this pair of pants twice since upsizing and now, his belly was sticking out from his body, proud and bloated with fat. Or food considering that Matthew treated him most meals in a day. It was always nice when he insisted on Gunwook trying something new and he loved it.
It's not like the weight was solely tied to his prominent belly but it settled in his thighs and glutes which wasn't really aiding the pants situation. They clung tightly to the plump thighs as well as didn't even make halfway up his ass as he tried hopping into them again, hearing a faint tear of fabric and how much the fat on his body jiggled at the motion.
While looking at himself in the mirror, Gunwook's hand absentmindedly rubbed his belly as he felt his face flush. Matthew had been a lot more touchy with him recently. Either holding his love handles or even sneaking squeezes on his belly which always made him think he was on the right track to getting his attention. After all, him blowing up was for him as well.
But, there was an enjoyment he was getting out of it as well. Feeling the way that his body expanded, burst out of belts sometimes and even was starting to get stuck in booths at the restaurants they frequented... there was a bliss in this... he just wanted to do it properly with Matthew at his side and just like his appetite, it was insatiable. He was no longer content with just being friends.
There was a knock on his dorm door. They had already made plans to go out again and while he wasn't ready in the slightest, he knew that his outfit (or lack of since he didn't fit in the button down that couldn't even close or his pants) would get the answer he wanted.
Opening the door, he heard Matthew's voice. "Gunwookie~ Are... you..." The happy voice trailed off before he looked down at the gut that was staring straight at him as he swallowed dryly. "I'm up here, hyung." Matthew's gaze needed to be torn away from the plump mass before Gunwook smiled. "Wanna order in?"
The feeling of Matthew's muscular body crashing into him and jostling his belly enough that the buttons he managed to get closed break told him everything that he needed. He had went all-in and got the pay out that he wanted... and soon, he was sure that he'd need to upsize again anyways now that his boyfriend was showing him just how much he appreciated that excess on his body.
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hauntingblue · 1 month ago
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WATER SEVEN BABYYYYY
Look at robin reacting when luffy says he wont give her up.... 🥺🥺
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This is a joke right now but its actually a one piece tenet aldjsisjka
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Usopp aksbaksjakqk the foreshadow is foreshadowing... Also Robin being happy with the crew after the Aokiji incident... Fuck!!!!
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Sanji thinking robin just vanished or flew away and suddenly usopp is soaring thru the skies... imagine
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AAAAARGGGGHHHH YOU CAN SEE THE GEARS TURNING
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Zoro talking to merry..... only while he is alone of course
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Why are nami and sanji matching ajdhakjsk look at the citrus sisters
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Carpenter: maybe it was the government
Gov agent: I don't think so, also don't say that they are everywhere
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LUFFY SUPPORTS WOMEN'S WRONGS!!!
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Don't scream att chopper like that!!! Look at him... So small....
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Imu tease???? (No) (Also I've changed websites again bc the translation is kinda off , I can't find a good quality b&w spanish translation and the colors scare me (i want the real manga experience))
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GET HIM ICEBURG!!!!
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I truly forgor if this is just a lie about her wanting to find the rio poneglyphs or genuine because she wants to die and will do it for them... because in skypiea she says she is not interested in the weapons so maybe if the gov pardons her but considering what she wants is illegal then idk abdjabjs this is such a dumb thing to forget... like thats important girl where did it go (reading this after remembering and it's kinda funny... i will make any sacrifice to kill myself (and keep you safe)... she goes HARD)
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Little paulie and mozu and kiwi.... omg hello (the SBS says the twins wanted to be shipwrights too omg)
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Franky's backstory is small but it does so much for me like it is so central to the themes... boats and people...
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DID SOMEBODY ORDER MORE TRAGIC BROTHERS?
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The fact that franky needs to learn this lesson to pass it on to robin.... do you understand how big this is.... also Tom does exactly as he says and takes responsibility for franky and what he has done... because he has done nothing wrong AND THAT'S HIS SON and he just punched spandam bc he wanta him to feel the pain franky feels... Tom is such a man..... proud of having built eater 7 up with the sea train.... goes out with a boom.... should we all kill ourselves....
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I am crying again................... franky my god.... and the fucking frog!!! And of course franky can't stop Tom's hope for his island... of course he can't.... he hasnt learnt the lesson yet but this guy isn't over yet!! He has a life of being a pervert cyborg ahead!!! Iceburg following Tom's footsteps but franky not being able to do that bc of his guilt....
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This is one of the coolest things chopper has done btw...
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NAMII 😭😭😭
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Robin damning the world for her crew when all she has ever done is damn her companions for her own sake.... how big is this...
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I can't take this...... it's always nami in these positions... it happens AGAIN in Zou with Sanji... there is no way
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The love letter gag is too good like damn that's so funny
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AND IT'S NAMI GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!! SHE LOVES ROBIN SO MUCH!!!!
#OOOH GRANDPA TEASE!!! he wanted to see luffy too?? omg and he owes garp a favor so he is going to kill him... alright then....#robin attacking FIRST and ZORO coming to her defense!!! CHEFS KISS!!! INCREDIBLE#my GOD!!! ROBIN WANTING TO LEAVE HER PAST BEHIND BC SHE TRULY HAS BEEN CHANGED BY THEM AAAAHHHH#this is so good... aokiji had to end crocodile and he still has a debt to someone (garp?) AND smoker told him stuff about luffy too#kokoro is such an mvp... be careful with the government agents she says.... hell yeah they should do that#the people in water 7 just giving advice to the pirates akdhaksjak sure go fix your boat but down there#robin laughing like ufufufu is so cute... also kalifa knowing everything bc she is literally a gov agent 💀 ICEBURG WAKE UP!!!#lucci pulling out the ship of theseus response akdhakaj conundrum solved everyone!!!#usopp is so heartbreaking already... beaten he goes to franky to get his money back knowing he will lose bc he wants to fix the merry... go#zoro cutting steel like its nothing... yeahhhhh also does luffy think the ship and usopp are like sanji and the baratie??#he wants to sacrifice himself for it but doesn't realize his life is the treasure and not the thing... luffy realizing this is not worth it#the fight was insane.... usopp feels useless and is enmeshed with the merry so he won't let it go and tells luffy does not care when he doe#so luffy gets mad at usopp for lying and not understanding what is going on and says he is not a carpenter (true but hurts) so he is nothin#god it is so bad... sanji breaking p the fight is so important AFTER zoro says to calm down and talk but they rile each other up...#THE DIALOGUE IS INSANE!!!! USOPP IN DENIAL AND LUFFY TAKES ALL OF HIS BAIT IT'S JUST SO AJDBAKSNSKN AND THE ONLY LIES ARE WHAT USOPP THINKS#ABOUT LUFFY!!!! BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND!! HE JUST FEELS!! HE SAW MERRY!! THE ONLY ONE!!!#luffy just laying on the hammock for hours... telling nami usopp wouldnt give up his life for an argument... then he only needs to fight...#is luffy fighting usopp just so he can de stress kind of??? like he is letting him get his punches in and then he will come back#once he thinks things through... like nami did... and what sanji ends up doing too... like just give him what he wants#luffy likes fighting friends even and this is the only fight he doesn't want.... the merry crying GOD!!!!#the impact dial... it hurts them both.... jesus.... luffy got two hits in but those were enough.... they are making nami cry SANJI KILL THE#everyone is crying but sanji and zoro akdjsks yeah luffy got him what he wanted... he can keep the ship but he can't beat him#and after all if strength is made by conviction luffy knows he is right and usopp is just in denial... so of course he would lose#franky reveal and Robin assassin reveal at the same time.... just remembered when usopp asked her specialty and robin said assassinations 😭#luffy nami adventures hell yeah.... and theres even more after the aqua laguna... LETSGOOOOO#goddamn you can see the thread of kuzan finding robin with the strawhats to then cp9 forcing her to act in water seven....#franky acting weird because he is worried about iceburg... i know it...#iceburg: its weird youre working for the government... but thats for the audience to worry about. not for me#pluton was built on water seven ✍️✍️✍️ also iceburg saying weapons are bad no matter who holds them... yeah franky would agree#reading one piece
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mrfancyfoot · 2 days ago
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Today I logged into facebook for the first time in nearly 4 years and went through every profile in my friends list (like ~300) and purged out all the assholes (anyone who openly voted for Trump, other conservatives, and those who I strongly believe did). I've done this before so there weren't many but there are a number that have been wishy-washy with being outward in their bigotry and it helps me keep a mental list of people that deserve only the most very basic level of respect that I can muster because they certainly do not respect me nor people I care about nor many of their fellow human beings. Most disheartening is seeing friends and family who continue to put effort into engaging with people who argue in bad faith and weaponized ignorance.
I dated a man for nearly a year who went to women's and pro-choice rallies and liberal groups with me and said many times that he "was on my side" but turned out to be lying the whole time because he knew I definitely wouldn't date him otherwise. I'd known him for years before since we ran in the same friend circle. I wasn't the only one he had fooled. He slowly lifted the mask until we were constantly arguing because of his bigoted and racist remarks. His favorite thing to do was act oppressed and show me the most obvious Russian propaganda that he would get upset at me for fact-checking and asking for real sources. He wanted to argue, so what he hated most was when I refused to argue with him. Nothing I said was going to change his mind, so I wasn't going to humor or tolerate it (we didn't last long after that point, but by that time, I was afraid of leaving without an excuse that would be "good enough" for him). He legitimately wants civil war so that he can play survival hero and feel validated in his hatred. It didn't come on quickly and a lot of the comments started as "odd" off the cuff things through the time that we dated. He was very much pretending to be a kind person and once really called out, that pretense dropped. He thought I was more like him and that a lot of my regard and kindness for others is "fake." Because that's what a lot of people like that do - they fake being kind for optics, they are not actually kind people, and therefore presume that everyone else is doing the same thing. It's given me major trust issues.
Can't say this enough: these people feel validation in their bigotry when you continue to associate with them. They need to be dropped. They need to learn that their shitty beliefs mean that they get shunned. Make them feel uncomfortable. Quit tiptoeing around and coddling their delicate little feelings because they might get upset. It's okay for them to get upset because someone was mean and told them they don't like them because they think gay and trans people shouldn't exist. I once made a post about how a raped 11 year old child should never be expected to give birth, was told that it was "god's will" and like 5 people piled on the guy so badly he told us to stop being "mean" to him and was terrified to talk to me at work ever again (I have since cut all ties and no longer work with him). I'm personally extremely tired of playing nice for the sake of possibly "converting" someone - especially because you can be polite in telling someone to fuck off with their beliefs. Their beliefs are dangerous, are going to result in people losing their lives, and a frightening number of them are completely okay with that. We need to stop being tolerant of intolerance. It is okay to cut people (including family) from your life when all their presence does is bring you stress and harm.
In a similar vain, don't let the people who chose not to vote (or "protest voted") stick their heads in the sand to escape blame. They are just as culpable as anyone else who directly voted for Trump and other conservatives. They need to grow the fuck up.
For a lot of liberals, it's really uncomfortable to be confrontational and feel like you're being intolerant of someone, but it's way past time to play hardball and call them out instead of coddling them, especially as we're going into the holiday season where many of us will be seeing family with shitty views and targeted family that may need someone to stand up for them. Let them know they're shitty and inappropriate and a disappointment and unworthy of your regard because they certainly lack it for others. Obviously still be safe, but many of us very likely aren't losing anything of value in that scenario. Not having bigoted family members in my life in any way has made me so much happier.
A helpful tip to those who may find themselves in a confrontation: do not stay engaged. Let your views be known and then disengage. Because many of them love to argue and feel like they're defending themselves (many are addicted to those feelings of hatred and overcoming "oppression"), what they don't like is being ignored and feeling like you're rinsing your hands of them. They don't deserve your stress and constant efforts. There are ways to open a dialogue when they are willing to discuss civilly with an open mind, but if they bring intolerance, just shut it down.
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la-galaxie-langblr · 6 days ago
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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loverlylight · 1 month ago
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Bad news: I can tell my default state is shifting into Bad as a baseline instead of visiting it every so often.
Good news: at least I'm aware of it?
Bad news: do not know what to do with said awareness
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hussyknee · 1 year ago
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TW: 200th rant about the stupid "HP fans are all complicit in antisemitism and transphobia" discourse, brought to you by my OCD-induced suicidality.
I've by now become so wary of trans people and enbies on social media, especially Jewish ones. I'm like "this person is GOING to be on their Harry Potter bullshit and trigger the hell out of my OCD" and my hackles go up automatically. Then my OCD goes "haha you hate them because they're Jewish and/or trans, you're an antisemitic transphobe so they're clearly right about people who defend HP! SUFFER bitch!" Cue hell loop until my brain is flayed over anything nobody actually even said or did.
I don't even LIKE HP that much anymore, why is wanting to stop having PTSD episodes about stupid shit the thing that also dropkicks me down seven circles of hell??? It's made all the so-called "leftist" enclaves of the internet a minefield. Why are people with OCD everyone's favourite collateral when it comes to stuff shitty rich assholes do? Is it so fucking hard to stop making up thought crimes to attack people over??
It's an extra layer of horrible when the same people have no problems applying "no ethical consumption under capitalism" to stuff like Coca Cola and Nestlé products. Y'all can't possibly live without child slavery chocolate or making brown people drink Nestlé's toxic filth or anything that's subjecting Indigenous communities and people in entire Global South continents to long, lingering, horrible deaths, but this one franchise whose author royalties are funding the UK transphobic lobby is the one line that matters. Fuck all the trans people in those places I guess. Every single Global North consumer moral policing is western leftists's dehumanization of our people writ large. Fuck all of you.
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