#you can thank this show for my obsession with Angel/demon fiction

[idolomantises]

I still can’t believe Panty and Stocking is coming back. Feels so surreal.

[circeyoru]

Surprise, Surprise, I’m Here to Watch = Requested

[Hazbin Hotel x 3 Powers Granted!Reader]

Did you think it was possible? No way. Did you embrace it? Oh yes baby

That random lamp you ordered off the internet to fill your cart to get some discount was not garbage. 3 wishes. Anything. Oh, you didn’t want immortality, no, living is a pain. Wealth, you’re not putting a target on your back. Perfect health, that’s like immortality, so no. More wishes, come on, don’t think you can lie your way with this. Don’t be greedy

“First one. Power to travel between universe, and I mean that as in non-fiction and fictional worlds. Second one. Shapeshifting powers, like I don’t want the pain that comes along as well if you can. Third one. Uhhh. Perfect stealth? Like no one will be able to know I’m here until I let them.”

“Are you sure you want to use all your wishes in one-go? I’ll be gone once it’s granted.” The genie blinked at the swiftness. Usually people would think forever or save them up for extreme cases

“Yeah, yeah, hurry up and grant me my wishes. I don’t imagine you like to entertain me for long anyways.” You waved the genie off and in a poof and a snap (should have been “A wap! Bam! Boom! Alakazam!”) you were granted those exact powers

Now being a hardcore shut-in addicted to all things fiction, you tested out your powers first to see if you were dreaming. Then you trained yourself a bit with them and tested their limits. In the meantime, you debated on which universe to go to officially. “Has to be Hazbin Hotel.”

You were obsessed, like majorly obsessed with the show. The moment news came about season 1, you prepared yourself and watched them first thing! You watched more than once, having to remember the lines and songs by heart. Nothing beats watching it unfold in real life or fiction life

Maybe it was because you were kind to the genie (being quick about your wishes) that when you traveled to other universes, time in the real world, your world stops until you’re back. You thanked the genie mentally and honest feel a bit guilty that you shooed them off so quickly. But you’ll make it up with fully using your powers

You figured out everything, a demon and angel form (check the ask) and when to go. You did like Lucifer’s entrance to the show. So why not episode 5? You snapped your fingers, opening a portal before you. You closed your eyes to imagine your demon form, a ring appeared over the top of your head and travelled down, shifting your form to what you pleased. Then you got your bag with your phone and charger and you were ready!

You activated your stealth before entering. Like some fanfiction written about the environment, it was that horrid. If you were in human form, you think you’d die like not even pass out but straight up die from inhaling whatever was in the air. You don’t think any human can survive a second here

Like when traveling to other universes, you weren’t where you wanted and have to travel around. You went straight for the Happy (Hazbin) Hotel, noting the various shops and demons around you, taking out your phone, you recorded your way to mark down locations since this was no longer a fictional place the moment you entered

While you shapeshifted into a demon, you can die. Your body acted on the laws of your world no matter where you went. Your powers of shapeshifting gave you the physiology of a demon and maybe some common powers that other demons have. That was if you traveled to this world first, during your testing period, you went to other worlds and ended up with other powers, though they can’t compare to the ones the genie granted you, it was still power. You can confidentially say you weren’t human anymore

Humming with interest, you climbed into the hotel lobby through an open window so as not to alert the demons inside. Well, you didn’t even need to when you saw everyone preparing for Lucifer’s arrival. You looked up to see Alastor’s annoyed look as he observed the situation in silence. Everything was on track

Delightfully, you recorded everything on your phone, keeping quiet as best you could. Even more excited when you found out that Alastor could be captured on your phone. You followed the plotlines as it was intended, but you have to say witnessing Alastor threaten Husk into silence was more terrifying than you thought. You almost dropped your phone from your shaking hands

You were tempted to help Husk, but you decided against it and went to where Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer would be. You watched everything for there onwards. Since that balcony would be the perfect place to record Alastor’s Radio Demon show. But you made it down in time to see Lucifer agreeing to get that meeting with Heaven

Before you followed the couple to Heaven, since there was time, you lazed around town without your stealth active. You had the pleasure of testing your demonic powers and appearance. Sinners and demons alike were hooked, you happily showed them not to mess with you. Soon rumours came about saying a mysterious demon was cruelly killing any that dares to address you. Perhaps you should have kept things on the down low

That little hiccup didn’t stop you from following Charlie and Vaggie to Heaven, you went as far as to appear angelic with another form to travel around without your stealth. It was safer in Heaven after all. You having more wings allowed you easy access to the courthouse as well, you seated gracefully among the other angels and watched the scene untold like the script

You noticed the angelic beings near you start to eye you questionably as you recorded the scene below you without a care, even giggling and chuckling at some moment like you were watching a show. Thing is, it was a show, they all were characters of another’s creation and they didn’t even know it! Your odd actions were nothing compared to the drama happening

Proved that you were only noticed officially when the song came to its end and your giggles were heard out and clear. Your wings fluttered as you stood in front of Charlie and Vaggie, the two smaller wings by the side of your head covering your face

You elegantlly mocked aloud, targeting at Adam and Lute. “I always wondered why angels were given a free pass to everything, including the use of unholy words like a demon and committing action like a demon. Perhaps,” Your smaller wings parted for your golden eyes to stare and glare at Adam, “You are the one that belonged in Hell instead of that poor soul.”

Enraged, Adam sent you three back to Hell with the threat that he’d attack the hotel first. Your wings hid your face again the moment you three were back in the hotel lobby. As Charlie remember you being sent to Hell with them, she turned to you to apologize, only to find you in demon form. Her eyes confused as you turned to look at her. “No harm done, princess. I was never a soul in that place anyways. I had to say something to that piece of work known as the first man.”

Using their shocked and confused moment, you actived your stealth before they could question you anything else. You was fun to watch them fret over your disappearance like you were a child and they a parent, you stuck around since the battle was drawing closer. You’d follow the plotline to go into Charlie’s room, but she needed her privacy and you only went when Vaggie did

Later on, you went with Charlie to Cannibal Town. You wanted to see Rosie! The lovely demon that only officially made her debut much later. You had to record the song as well, though you missed Camilla’s sadly. You also took note of the VoxTech drone that watched the scene, you couldn’t help but shot it out of the sky with a rock

When the battle happened, you were away from Alastor in the beginning and helped out behind the scenes, shooting down exterminators that breached the ‘front line’ or threatened to harm/kill Rosie’s people. You (for the first time) didn’t record a moment since it was intense and you didn’t want to accidentally die or get hurt

You nudged Niffty in Adam’s direction when it was sprouting nonsense that you want jump out your skin for. Then you recorded the stab moment. A scene that many loved after the episode was aired. There was another that you watched, Lucifer’s comment before his and Adam’s ‘fight’ began. You honestly couldn’t hold yourself and laughed like you did when you rewatched the episode so many times

Then you were moving in the speed of light to record their final song. Even going to Alastor’s destroyed tower to get his part. And you rushed back to to hotel later to get the rest of it. You had one hell of a leg work and accidentially dropped your stealth due to tiredness

“You’re that demon that was angel but not!” You heard Angel’s voice shouted and saw his four arms pointed at you.

“Yeah, I have a name, so…” You trailed off, wanting to not be in the spotlight, you’re honestly scared to be involve because the later seasons were not released and you didn’t want anything to be affected. “Bye?”

“No way! We’re celebrating with us!” Charlie quickly wrapped her arm to hook one of yours, Vaggie followed and stood on your other side as her girlfriend continued, “Don’t think I didn’t notice some exterminators falling and dying for no reason!”

Yeah, people saying Charlie was more powerful than she led on was right on the money, even in that chaotic scene she noticed your involvement

You sighed and gave in, no turning back now, “Fine. Fine. I guess I deserve some celebration too.”

Note: I’ll be completely honest, this one, I had no idea how to write. Plus it was different from what I usually write. This is more like a Reader Insert than anything. Hope you enjoyed it though!

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

Taglist: (requested individual)

@no1sillybilly

[destiel-wings]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what are your thoughts on angel x buffy? :)

Hii i don't mind, thank you for asking 😊

So, I used to love bangel sooooo much when i first watched the show. I was 100% into it, (with a crush for Boreanaz too) and i cried so much for them in s2 and when Angel left the show in s3. And I truly, sincerely, unironically hated Spike too (I thought he was a great character but i just loved hating him, you know? Lol). When we saw Spike's dream of kissing Buffy I swear i felt nauseous.

... and then they aired Fool for love.

By the end of that episode I was left in utter existential crisis in front of my tv because i felt my whole world shift. There was a part of me that still liked Angel and Buffy, but there was also this new part that wanted her to be with Spike now.

So anyway, that's when i decided to switch teams and i became team spuffy, and for as much as i had been obsessed with bangel before, it was nothing compared to how deep i was caught into the Buffy and Spike relationship. I never looked back. They were just much more complex and real and compelling. And it made me reevaluate Angel and her relationship with him too. Angel never really knew Buffy, always treated her like a child, and let's be honest--and that's something that hit me only years later when I got older--she was a child when they were together. He was spying on her and falling in love with her when she was just fifteen years old and he was a 240-year-old vampire who had been sired at like 26 years old, and they got together when she was 16/17 and he broke up with her when she turned 18... I don't think that's something the writers did intentionally of course, because (as everything else in buffy) it's just meant to be taken as a metaphor for the ideals and struggles and the intensity of drama of a girl's first love, but it still comes off as icky.

And before anyone comes at me, I know spuffy isn't healthy either, but that's kinda the point and the appeal. First of all, it's fiction and a metaphor, and secondly, it's about two broken people that are supposed to be mortal enemies but are actually two sides of the same coin, so different and yet so much the same, who can understand each other as a whole, light and darkness, in a way that no one else ever could, who yes, hurt each other along the way, but whose love saved them from the deepest darkness, ultimately bringing them into the light.

This is what spuffy is to me, and this is why i think it's not only the superior ship, but one of the best ships of all time (thee best, until i saw destiel, now they're sharing the podium).

So anyway, to get back to your question, the moment i became obsessed with Buffy and Spike (and i have been ever since 2005, lmao, they've been my first real obsession, alongside btvs, until spn and destiel) Angel sort of became the enemy 😅. And I hated him so so so so so much when he appeared in 7x21 and kissed Buffy (pure fanservice, but okay) and brought the medallion that ultimately killed Spike. So i spent years very maturely holding my vendetta against Angel (like, rooting for every demon that fought against him when I watched Angel, lmaoo). In most recent years, I've (sort of) made my peace with the character, after rewatching Angel. I mean he's still the enemy (of course, duh!! Who am i if not eternally petty??) but i appreciate him in his own show.

So i don't ship Angel and Buffy anymore, but I can understand why someone would (as i myself used to), and more importantly, i respect other people's right to ship them.

If we're joking, I'm going to insult Angel and keep saying he's the enemy. But on a mature serious note, I think Buffy and Angel were a great first love (for Buffy), but they were supposed to be just that, the impossible teenage girl's dream of a first love, eternal but doomed to end and break your heart.

I think Angel was much more well paired with Cordelia (which is something I'd never think I'd say), and i found myself shipping them so much when I rewatched the show. It felt so much more mature and profound than what we saw with Buffy and Angel (and that's probably due to the fact that we got slow burn for them - as we did for Buffy and Spike- and could actually see the feelings growing, while Buffy crushed on Angel in the pilot and she was madly in love (as teenagers do) in 0.5 seconds for no apparent reason than the fact that he was hot and mysterious.

So when I say the kiss in btvs 7x21 makes zero sense, I'm not just talking about spuffy, but also about cangel. I feel like both characters parted ways and lived on in their own shows to grow and become their own persons, developing other relationships that were more adult and meaningful, and that kiss was just disrespectful for both (but anyways, it doesn't change anything).

I have so many thoughts about all this honestly, and I hope I haven't gone too much off the tangent with my reply, but i couldn't just give you a simple reply because that would've had to be something like "angel is the enemy and i don't like bangel" but as you can see my thoughts are a little more complex than that 😅

[naturegirl555]

Ranting about supernatural because I hate this show so so much (I’m so so obsessed with it to the point where it’s concerning) and I’m on season 6 episode 20 “the man who would be king” and can I just say how incredibly annoying the boys are! Like can you maybe hear cas out maybe! His reasons for doing these things aren’t malicious or demonic. He is fighting a war in heaven which they couldn’t give to shits about and now they are gonna be mad because he was MANIPULATED by crowley (I love the man but still) like can they use their brains for one moment. And I feel this may come off like I hate Sam and dean and I do not in any way they are very complex characters with trauma and trust issues but cas has done everything for them. He was trying to save them. He didn’t know the outcome. Like Sam and dean have never made a mistake before. Because I remember a couple seasons ago where Sam was going crazy gorging on demon blood because he thought he could do good with that power! So why be so hypocritical and get mad at cas in the way they did. And can we just talk about how broken cas looked when they trapped him in the holy fire! Like Sam said to him did you bring me back without a soul on purpose and his eyes god! Like in what world would castiel who saved you both from hell do that purposely! It was already hard enough to save dean it was a group project in a way he didn’t have help with Sam! And cas is also doing all of this because he thinks its what god wants. He is so blinded by his faith again because he got brought back to life. He had the idea that he was brought back for this reason and chuck did absolutely nothing because all he wants is drama and trauma for the collective and not caring about how his kids feel! Castiels faith breaks my heart because no one could understand it. Dean couldn’t and Sam couldn’t. Castiel has been an angel since the beginning it’s not so easy to give up everything you’ve ever known even when you know that it might not be the right thing. Was it easy for dean to see his father the way everyone else saw John. No. So why can’t it be difficult for cas. They truly never give cas a break. And yes I’m a major destiel shipper. But the way dean acts towards cas sometimes makes me so enraged. But this “breakup” dean looked heartbroken. Castiel had lied to him. Him of all people. The man who he had a profound bond with. He just wanted cas to ask for help and cas didn’t because he doesn’t do that. He’s never been not capable before things have never been this difficult for him before. And when you look at what castiel did there was truly nothing wrong with it. He was blinded and manipulated and he didn’t want all of the shit they endured to stop the apocalypse to be for nothing. He didn’t go to dean because he saw dean living a normal life he saw him getting out and he wanted to respect that. How could castiel have known dean wasn’t happy in that life. Castiel isn’t very good with human emotions and his thinking is very black and white while the winchesters have shades of gray thinking. So how is it fair to blame cas for all of it. I’m sorry about this rant i just feel so much about this! Like castiel is my favorite fictional character of all time and I wish I could’ve teleported into the show and been his lawyer because no one would listen to him no one ever does. I love all of them very very much but it would be dumb to think castiel doesn’t deserve better. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk about castiel. It may happen again

[light-of-delphi]

Hi! I'm sorry if this sounds a bit weird, but I just read your post about Apollo worship and saw that you're open to questions, so I came over to ask, since I really don't know anyone else who can guide me. Please feel free to ignore if this looks too long or makes you uncomfortable.

I'm of a different faith that works with both polytheism and agnosticism/atheism. A few months ago I read a bunch of stuff about Apollo and got absolutely obsessed with him, but in a obsession-with-a-fictional-character way. I started staying up at night to read up about him, searched for literally any scrap of info about him, made up stories and scenarios about him and his lovers in my head, and at this point I have memorized nearly all his powers and epithets. I started wearing gold jewellery (which I previously did not like) and got myself a golden snake ring. Then a few nights ago a mouse showed up in my house (we've never had them in the near decade we lived here) and it was gone by morning.

At this point I was convinced he was smacking me on the face with symbolism so I went to an online tarot card deck, because that seems to be something hellenistic devotes do a lot. I asked him if he was trying to talk to me. He gave me two yes's and also justice, wheel of fortune and the sun.

However, I am devoted to quite a few of deities of my own faith, and while it's kind of casual, I am not going to give them up. I know they won't mind, but is it okay to work with Apollo along with them? Will he mind that, especially since I think of him more as a fictional-friend than a god? Or are these coincidences and I'm making up stuff in my head? My country has next to no hellenistic pagans, and most plant-based things that he seems to like- laurel, bay, cypress etc, or the crystals, are not really found here. If I do worship him, do I also need to try and find these items?

Hi hello! Thank you for reaching out :) I've got a few things to say that I hope help you out, lets get the ball rolling.

Firstly, I love hearing that you've done so much research on him! It's an amazing start to get familiar with any deity, so it's an amazing start. In terms of the pantheons or deities you work with, it would not hurt to check in with those who you already work with to assess boundaries and check in with them. They may give you some personal guidance that I cannot provide.

Trust your intuition on this. If you think he is reaching out, check in with your divine team and go from there! And as far as Apollo's concerns, I doubt he'd mind. In the past, I've worked with angels and demons and Norse Gods while working with Apollo. Worst case, you'll just have to come up with boundaries. Work out things like who can be in the space together at the same time, who shouldn't be sharing spaces, and boundaries like this.

And Apollo, for the most part, loves the fictional depictions of himself. He sees it as a form of devotion and recognition of who he is. So I wouldn't be worried about that part. If you see him as a fictional-friend, if you do pursue a bond with him, you can talk to him about that and work it out with him personally!

You don't need all of the things I listed in my post to worship him. I don't currently have access to anything but Bay leaves to honor him. You can honor him with any yellow, orange, or white flower you may associate with him, or honestly any plant you personally associate with Apollo. My post was just a strict look at facts, it's fully up to you to decide what you want to devote and offer to him.

I really do hope this was helpful, and please feel free to reach out again if you have further questions! My inbox is open! Blessed be, and may the sun be your guide. A domani!

[myinky-cloak]

13 Books

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Not tagged by @softest-punk but I saw it on their page and decided to get involved.

1) The Last book I read:

Just finished Tana French’s “Broken Harbour”. I LOVE Tana French, particularly her Dublin Murder Squad series. I wasn’t very satisfied with the ending. It required too much suspended disbelief for me. Too many characters descending into madness at the same time very conveniently. But it was interesting to consider how many issues we cause for ourselves by attempting to be someone we think we should be.    

2) A book I recommend:

Not to be basic Tumblr bitch but Neil Gaiman’s “The Ocean at The End of The Lane”. The way he can articulate the terrible things that happen in childhood, how we deal with them, how we carry the memories, and the effect they have on us for the rest of our lives left me shaken and breathless. ”You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.” I wish I didn’t need this reminder but I do, so thank you, Neil.

Plus, I find it fascinating to see the difference between people who can intimately relate to it and those for whom it is just a story.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Stephen King “The Waste Lands” The third book of The Dark Tower series. A book series that started out so promising and ended with me throwing the final book against the wall in disgust and cursing Mr. King to high heavens. For all the issues the final books in the series had “The Waste Lands” was an absolute masterpiece. I remember reading it on a train to work and nearly missing my spot because I needed to find out what happens next.   

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

One book?? Right. Stephen King’s “Salem’s Lot”. It absolutely terrified me when I read it as a teenager. I loved the feeling of small town America invaded by the supernatural which he writes so well. Plus, vampires!  I have a habit of re-reading it every time I go home, don’t really know why. I probably should get around to reading it in English at some point. 

Sometimes I re-read books by accident. I consume so much crime fiction that occasionally I will pick up a book from the library and happily read it with no recollection of the plot only to be told by GoodReads I’ve read it years ago.

5) A book on my TBR:

I am beginning to think this list was made by someone who isn’t a reader. One book? I guess it has to be R.F.Kuang “Babel”. I really want to read it. It's like The Secret History but in Oxford! I know I will enjoy it but I only have it on Kindle. I prefer reading long books in their physical form but the library copy is in hardback so it’s cumbersome to carry around. Thus it stays on my TBR.

First world problems of a bookworm.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Dan Brown “Angels and Demons”. I knew about his reputation when I picked it up, but I wanted something mindless to read and thought it would be fine. Reader, it wasn’t fine. Terrible, terrible writing. I couldn’t deal. Turns out I do have standards even for my trash reads.

7) A book on my wish list:

Stephanie Foo “What My Bones Know: A memoir of healing from complex trauma” I’ve read so many books on trauma and complex trauma both for my degree and for personal understanding. Surprising no one most of them are written by men. I’m very excited to read female perspective on it, plus she talks about generational trauma which is such an incredibly fascinating topic. 

8) A favorite book from childhood:

Alexander Dumas “The Three Musketeers”. I was obsessed with this book. OBSESSED. I’ve read it so many times I could recite pages of it. It introduced me to my first problematic fictional crush Athos, starting my love affair with all the sad tortured blorbos which going strong till this day. I named my dog Count de la Fere after him. I wanted to be a musketeer so bad. Still kind of do.  

9) A book you would give to a friend:

It does slightly depend on a friend but Amor Towles “A Gentleman in Moscow”. I was so blown away when I read it. I gave copies to my friends. I talked to everyone about it: friends, people on the internet, strangers in bookshops or on public transport (In London! Imagine the horror!) One of my friends refuses to read the last chapter till this day because she does not want the story to end. This is probably my proudest book gifting achievement.  

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own

The OG problematic bae Lord Byron Selected Works. It’s a second hand school library's copy from 1950’s full of underlinings and scribbled notes. I love seeing evidence of other people engaging with writing and thinking about words. 

Such a problematic person. Such a great poet. 

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Cindy Crab “Things That Help: Healing our lives through Feminism, Anarchism, Punk & Adventure”. I found this book in the feminist bookshop in Brighton when things weren’t going so great for me for the umptheen time and it was like pouring healing salve on my soul. It’s not a book in a traditional sense but a collection of self-published zines collected into a little tome. It destroyed my very conservative idea of what a book is and how “professional” it should look that I did not realise I held until that moment. Most importantly, it reminded me there are other ways of being in the world that a conventional way of living.    

12) What are you currently reading:

Teo van den Broeke “The Closet”. It’s a memoir of a fashion journalist who tells of growing up, coming out and figuring out himself through clothes that were important to him. It’s written in an easy, conversational style. As someone whose wardrobe consists of jeans, leggings and t-shirts I find it so interesting to peek into fashionista’s world.   

13) What are you planning on reading next?

Isabella Hammad “Enter Ghost”. It is a book set in Palestine about staging Hamlet and possibly also a queer love story. What more could you want from a book? Cannot wait to start this one!! 

[on-till-morning]

@thesherrinfordfacility Hiii!! Thank you for taking the time and sharing this in depth response! So much food for thought here! Also lol to the brain hurts but the heart sings - the story of my GO s2 experience! Ok here are my thoughts back:

Trauma is definitely not an excuse for bad behavior, ever, and I did not mean to imply that it was. Crowley and Aziraphale both have what appears to be trauma informed behavior over secrecy and transparency that results in them both lying and being cagey, but they are both presented as adults/ancient occult/etherial beings and are def 100% responsible for their actions. And I agree that we see A take more responsibility for his actions than we see C do.

If Crowley were a real person, I would say that he shows signs of disassociating on some sort of regular basis. This has always colored my view of him. But he is not a real person and the main reason why I recently joined Tumblr and now spend countless hours obsessively thinking and reading essays about fictional characters is that I’m interested in studying character from a narrative and storytelling frame (I’m studying this in other places too, but Tumblr has turned out to be an incredible, free, fun and seemingly endless resource!).

From a narrative POV, I agree that your assessment of the bench and hell hound convo is C showing his superiority (which I agree he has) and this probably makes more sense than it being a disassociation lapse. I also prefer plot and arcs that involve the characters having more agency rather than less (not a coffee theory truther) and while I also think memory loss will be in s3 I would hope the implied memory wipe would not be shown as the main or strong reason for Crowley’s lying or other problematic behavior. It, along with theoretical disassociation, could play some part in his inability to keep track of things, or not.

Ahhhh your whole point about him potentially asking god for forgiveness and hearing nothing back and that being part of his arc and why forgiveness is so triggering!!! I am also blown away by your theory around his trauma. I am only realizing now that I was making assumptions based on the popular consensus that C’s trauma is from his fall, rather than really investigating that - another reason why I appreciate your meta posts so much! - and I can absolutely follow your argument about his trauma developing over time as a result of god not learning. Fascinating and such an interesting point with the forgiveness piece!

Having now thought about it more, I still personally think the “fall” - whatever that even was and whoever was responsible - plays some part of C’s trauma and learned behavior. As trauma affects everyone differently and is difficult to track, it’s possible, as you theorize, that C was actually fine with “falling” but becomes increasingly upset and traumatized with gods behavior over the centuries (and also has some probable trauma over secrecy with hell especially in the 1800’s), however, to play devil’s advocate (pun intended) it is also possible that he’s compartmentalized the full ramifications of “falling” and how much it did and will affect him, possibly up until the Job episode which I think contains some triggering events which are: 1) He sees someone questioning god, which we’re told he did, and not only is Job not smitted (smitten?) but this is the moment, right after the questioning, when Job’s possessions, status and safety are returned to him sevenfold and 2) C sees A work with a demon and lie to angels directly and there is no striking him down from above (as an aside - with the amount of times that A does not toe the party line it seems that he would have “fallen” if a supposedly omniscient being is in charge of who’s an angel and who’s a demon, so there’s also some amount cognitive dissonance happening for both of them with having to hold the knowledge they both have that A doesn’t follow the rules as they’ve been told or implied and yet still retains his angel status for millennia). These triggering incidents could force C’s brain to start looking at and processing his own until then compartmentalized trauma over being kicked out from heaven because of asking questions and/or for hanging out with the wrong people and could account for his subsequent colder treatment of A at the cruxifixction (though that event would also be enough to warrant a colder treatment) and then later at Rome.

Again though, not a real person, so the point (I think) is - what is the author trying to tell us and what journey is this character going on? How much of his characteristics are deliberately trauma informed? Questions only Neil Gaiman has the answers to, but I still think about!

Ok, on to my ask. Ah, so you see the bench scene in s1 re: hell hound as the point where A has actually made the choice to take matters into his own hands, as opposed to where I was seeing it at the end of e2 when C calls and A tells him over the phone that he has no news (and while he hasn’t learned Adam’s address yet we are shown overlays of prophecies about Armageddon so A is on the track of learning something here and lies to C). I did not get this on my first or —nth rewatch and therefore was not following the connection from the bench and the antichrist kill ask to this telephone call a full episode + later with no other mention or reference to this ask along the way. However, rewatching yet again, I agree with this assessment and I even see the shift in language with “*we* should be there (at the birthday party). Maybe *I* can stop the dog.” And I agree that it’s more than just the ask (yes, I read the piece you referenced and agree A’s response is not the most moral either) it’s also that he’s realizing C’s plan only goes so far and furthermore C is not telling him everything he knows.

Thanks for rambling with me!!

Wow, I just fell down the rabbit hole of your master meta list a few days ago and am thoroughly enjoying every minute of the ride. Your analyses are discerning, clear, compassionate and fascinating. I have a thought to add to a question you posed and a question I would love to get your insight on.

First though I want to preface both notes by saying how much I appreciate your thoughtful and articulate analysis of Crowley’s character, as well as Aziraphale’s, but particularly the flaws in both, and particularly the flaws in Crowley’s, which covers areas of his character that are so often overlooked (antichrist kill foist off is offender #1). I love both of these characters, and the fandom, and I have also noticed a tendency in fanfic as well as some portion of the fandom to cast Crowley as the romantic hero, utterly devoted to A, completely besotted, wrapped around A’s finger, demon with a heart of pure gold - when from all we’ve been shown in canon he’s much more complex (they both are) and much more self serving, as well as much more manipulative - though who knows how consciously this manipulation is done, based on where he (and A) came from, which is what I get into more in this note.

(There’s also this distilling I see happening to One hero (C) and One damsel/object for him to rescue and pine over (A) rather than seeing them both as equal hero/ines and culprits both and I could definitely write a whole essay about why we as a culture are primed to look for, see and then die on the hill of these roles, but I am going to try and stay on point here.)

Point #1: in relation to a question posed in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/thesherrinfordfacility/725485403433484288/lwa-lol-no-that-wasnt-me-i-wasnt-surprised

In regards to - why does Crowley hide the full play by play of the execution from A?

My thought is that it could be due to his trauma.

In s1 he references falling due to “only” asking questions. He’s shown directly asking god a question once with visible fear and the fate of the entire planet at stake at motivator for why he would risk this again. He yells at A about god acting in mysterious ways and “not talking to anyone about it” which feels like an important comment for him to make - the not talking about things to anyone. There’s already enough here to conclude that he has trauma is based around information, questions, secrecy and transparency. On a conscious and/or subconscious level he’s learned truth/openness/questions/transparency = Not Safe. This is confirmed with what we see of AWCW in s2 when it’s confirmed that he was asking questions and wanting full transparency (and in s2 we see him completely floored by Job just being able to ask god questions). Thus we get the post-fall Crowley who puts on a very carefully constructed mask of an appearance, literally masking the arguably most expressive part of his face, and who has a habit of chronically not telling the whole story or sometimes any part of the story whatsoever. While I agree with your many insightful analyses about this coming from his desire to be the hero for Aziraphale (limiting/controlling A’s agency) and for his own hero narrative, I think that’s one part of it and that there are other times (like the question in this post) when he hides things for no clear reason, and I think it’s both from the initial trauma as well as his added trauma from being an agent of hell who had to really double down on “transparency is not safe” to survive in hell for millennia.

For example, in s1e1 on the bench at the zoo C casually mentions the hell hound as though A should already know about this, then seems sort of surprised that A doesn’t know this and then rolls right into dismissing its importance. This always felt like a trauma response to me, having personally witnessed a lot of examples of disassociation from trauma in my line of work, specifically trauma related to sharing information/asking questions. My take was that he doesn’t remember not telling A, but doesn’t want to admit that, so he acts like it doesn’t matter. And now that we officially have the implication from s2 that there’s a memory wipe to deal with on top of his (probable) disassociation, which makes me wonder how much Crowley honestly knows that he’s telling and how much he’s honestly intending to conceal. I agree that he hides that he’s living in the Bentley to preserve his image to Aziraphale and that that’s a deliberate choice, but I wonder overall if he’s even able to keep track of what he’s saying and not saying.

This is actually giving me a new thought as of now about the final 15 - when he’s confronted by Maggie and Nina and he says “oh yeah we talk all the time, been talking for /millions/ of years.” The millions could just be an exaggeration, just like I think him saying that “they’ve spent their existence pretending that they’re not” is a dramatic exaggeration, but maybe he has no idea how long they’ve actually known each other? And a vague sense of what they’ve even talked about? I’ve worked with people who have trauma and disassociation from families that kept secrets and refused to answer questions and sometimes they remember what really happened, sometimes they remember the family lie, and sometimes they’ve deleted the incident entirely-sometimes all this from one person during different conversations. Anyway, this could add another layer of context to why, instead of breakfast at the ritz, he’s suddenly determined to have the conversation he’s not entirely sure how much of that they’ve previously had or haven’t had and isn’t sure how to say it and is not catching on to everything A is trying to express (and as to what tf that is boy have I had questions, and your posts have offered a lot of insight that hadn’t occurred to me - a dm for another time.)

But to go back to the question of why not tell A everything that went down in the execution - you’d think he’d be happy to rely the entire incident to prove both A wrong in choosing heaven sort of in s1 (part of my question in the next message) and/or prove his point about heaven being as wrong as hell. Instead we are never shown him sharing the details and it seems implied that he hasn’t. Based on his trauma—maybe it’s because he’s so used to keeping secrets at this point, maybe it’s because it’s useful to have information only he knows that might benefit him at some point in the future, and/or maybe he’s having a trauma response to the entire incident and is completely disassociating, either from his own fall or because of his feelings for A or both. When he confronts Jim/briel about it he only does so after we see him pour out the last of a bottle of wine he drank alone and it’s definitely not a well thought out confrontation. It feels emotional and spur of the moment, and at least one bottle of wine is involved, which tracks with the state people sometimes need to be in to confront a traumatic memory. And going back to how he’s had to learn to keep secrets and possibly disassociates - does he even know he hasn’t given A the whole play by play? He tells him Gabriel wanted to throw him in hellfire - maybe he honestly thinks he’s told A the whole story and that’s part of his fury and rejection of A wanting to help Jim. He’s such an unreliable narrator, and there’s both the memory wipe and disassociation at play - we just don’t know.

Anyway, thank you for reading this far if you have! Part 2 to follow with my question and I promise it will be much shorter! 🙏

oh my goodness, hi @on-till-morning!!!✨

what a lovely couple of messages to wake up to, that's so kind of you to say and im so happy that you like my ramblings!!! thank you ever so much!!! I hope you don't mind, but I've condensed both of your really thought-provoking asks into one, just so hopefully my answer flows a bit better?

screenshot of second ask, and answer, under the cut!!!

lets get cracking!!!✨ i really like your analysis on crowley's learned behaviour that transparency is not a concept with which he feels comfortable, and this is represented in not only how he physically presents himself, but also in his actions and behaviours - that secrecy, and keeping to the dark, is safer and offers more protection. it's well argued and supported, and I do agree that there must be a factor of this at play in his characterisation.

i think the thing that i take issue with in parsing out crowley's trauma (because he evidently has it - and your ask summarises elements of this beautifully) is that many associate his trauma to the fall. but honestly? that reason has never sat entirely comfortably with me. my first draft of this response had about nine vaguely-argued reasons for this, but i've narrowed it down to two specific points:

* * * * *

his body language, delivery, and general behaviour both on the wall of eden, and in mesopotamia, do not match with what i would recognise as a trauma response to the fall - in fact, his characterisation is much closer to that of AWCW's rather than the crowley we later see. we could read this as dissociation, but i personally don't think it's this at all. his behaviour changes after the flood, and going into ACtO, which indicates to me that his bitterness and resentment doesn't stem from the fall itself, but from the fact that - in his eyes - god has not learnt anything from the fall. now, we as the audience can have our speculation on who caused the fall, was it meant to happen, what is god's true will, etc. but from crowley's perspective, he is witnessing continuous events where god and heaven are causing unnecessary suffering, disguised as tests and trials, right up until 2019 - "you said you were going to be testing them, but you shouldn't test them to destruction..." - where the apocalypse is just a line too far.

we then also have the mirrored conversation between ACTO and the bandstand scene in s1:

c: "what do you know about what i want" // c: "i won't be forgiven, not ever."

a: "i know you."

c: "you do not know me." // c: "that's part of a demon's job description. 'unforgivable', that's what i am."

a: "...i know the angel you were-" // a: "you were an angel once."

c: "the angel you knew is not me." // c: "that was a long time ago."

2. cont'd: crowley's last lines for me here are rather opposite in sentiment. in the first, he's bitter and dismissive, categorically distancing himself as the person he is in ACtO from the angel to whom aziraphale is referring; that they are two separate entities and never the twain shall meet. in the bandstand scene, he acknowledges his former angelic self, and by doing so appears to have somewhat reconciled that this former person is in fact part of him. that suggests to me, in part, some form of healing; that doesn't mean that he isn't still confused or angry about the fall and some trauma may be underlying, but it strikes me that this is a part of his history that doesn't have the same sting as it once did.

(still cont'd): it is however his assertion that he is unforgivable that is the most interesting to me in this scene, because to me his conclusion for this fact confers to me two possible eventualities that we have not seen in the narrative:

a) he may have at some point asked god for forgiveness, not gotten an answer, and has accepted that (which corresponds neatly to his aversion to "i forgive you", and "[god] not talking to any of us"), or

b) that this is a rhetoric that has been drummed into him from hell (which i'm less inclined to support as fully; the first option is supported narratively, and this option would suggest that crowley listens to hell in any capacity - but that being said, this could be contributory to his carriage and personality shift between mesopotamia and uz).

(to be honest, both of these could be true, and feed into each cyclically - hell tells him he's unforgivable, god doesn't disagree, on and on it goes.)

* * * * *

now, both of the above could be turned entirely on its head by taking into account the memory-wipe theory. i do think memory manipulation is going to play some part in s3, and explaining some parts of the issues with crowley and his recount of the fall, but i'm reluctant to fully chalk everything up to the fact that it was because crowley can't remember it - i think this potentially erases too much accountability on his part for his own actions. this is similar to how I feel about his actions being excused by trauma; whilst i certainly believe that some of his decisions and actions are, like you said, potentially borne out of trauma, and that makes elements of his actions understandable and empathetic, it does not give him license to shirk accountability for them, nor make them justifiable.

but in essence, as it currently stands, i agree that crowley has issues with transparency and openness; i'm just not convinced this is wholly to do with the fall, but instead that he takes issue with fact that god/heaven has not learnt from the fall. saying it again - this for me is apparent in the "you said you would be testing them, but you shouldn't test them to destruction..." line; he's, as you said, concerned for the fate of the world, especially if you consider that like the fall, like the flood, and like job, it's all set up as a test. in his mind - why hasn't god learnt from the last time they tried to test something to destruction? why would god encourage this on the innocent, those that are still learning - those that are just asking questions? i think crowley has largely accepted what happened to him, but cannot understand why it seems to him that only he is the one to see that it shouldn't be repeated.*

this is what i think 'his side' in job is largely borne from, and is the beginning of his propensity towards embodying a hero-narrative. to be completely reductive about it, i think sometimes crowley does see himself as the saviour of the story (certainly supported by some of his lines in s2), and aziraphale to be either - as you put it - the damsel/object character in the piece, and/or the sidekick. when aziraphale speaks up and offers himself as an equal party, this rocks that dynamic - so like the bench scene where crowley mentions the hellhound, and aziraphale challenges him, this could in part be dissociation (far be it for me to argue with a - i'm surmising - MH professional, of course!), but i personally read this as superiority. crowley didn't think it was important information because he was sure his plan would work (and that the dog would be sent away unnamed), and therefore it never came up because he deemed it irrelevant. it's only when aziraphale entertains the possibility that the hellhound could derail the scheme that the narrative track changes, to which aziraphale offers up a solution (to stop the dog).

when it comes to lying about living in the bentley, i do like your point that crowley may not be able to actually keep track of what he's revealing and what he's concealing, but this again comes back to my personal aversion to this being a side-effect of the memory wipe theory or indeed a result of dissociation through trauma. i personally think crowley is just a very good, and prolific, liar. he asks aziraphale in s1 if "[he] would lie to [him]", as if he doesn't, but we know that he does. we literally see him lie (largely by omission, granted) to aziraphale throughout s1 and s2, and he certainly has a proclivity for lying to everyone else (i realise that hell are portrayed as being a little bit dim, but i don't think that's wholly true - i think crowley shrewdly capitalises on their little understanding of earth and its goings-on). i think this goes some way to arguing that him getting caught up in figurative knots is not due to misremembering what he reveals/conceals, but instead that he perhaps tells so many half-truths that he can't keep them straight anymore.

i completely agree with your reading of crowley's lines about knowing aziraphale for "millions of years" etc. there is no timescale before The Beginning that can be quantified, and so 'millions of years' does probably hit the mark as close to the truth as we or he can describe to humans (how do you tell humans with a lifespan of c. 85 years that you have known another being beyond infinity, beyond time?). but 'been talking to [aziraphale]' for that time? same as you, it strikes me as an exaggeration based off of the narrative we have so far - we only have the one pre-fall scene, and if consider how they react to each other on the wall of eden, and the times they meet thereafter... that doesn't quite ring true in the way that i think crowley thinks he means. they were acquaintances, at best, for a good proportion of their association.

the same goes for "spent our entire existence pretending that we aren't [a group of the two of us]"- this reads to me as a complete romanticisation of their dealings with each other, especially in the earlier days of their history where the narrative only supports that they came together at certain points, and even out of those points only a couple showed them working in tandem with each other. even the arrangement is indicated to be borne out of self-serving interest; of course, crowley might have internally meant it as a way of getting to spend more time with aziraphale, or that during the course of the arrangement it came to mean that, but we have no narrative confirmation of either. so, I essentially refer back to my point about lying: it seems to me that crowley is able to lie to others well, but potentially to no one better than himself. i personally don't think it's anything to do with his memory, even if only for the view that i think it would remove too much accountable characterisation from him. i'd rather he be fundamentally flawed in true character than an external force dictate his character for him - same as aziraphale and the coffee theory, in essence.

when we come to the hellfire execution, i do think in part it's because crowley's scared as a result of what happened, and what it directly means for aziraphale's safety - a trauma response, like you said. but i don't think that's the whole reason. i do still think, as i said in the LWA response you linked, that it's in part because he wants to shelter aziraphale from knowing how much of an outsider he is to heaven, something that he knows is important to aziraphale, even if it would be in crowley's interests to tell aziraphale exactly this - in this respect, this is truly a grey-area decision in which crowley responds arguably selflessly. but i do also think it's potentially crowley misappropriating aziraphale's trust in him. that crowley sees himself as aziraphale's saviour, and responsible for his safety, to the point of removing any agency from aziraphale to be a key player in his own safeguarding, and crowley tends to him like he's made of glass, pushing away unseen forces that he thinks would make him smash. we see that aziraphale is able to protect himself, he's more than capable of it (and we know that crowley on some level knows this too), but he chooses to interpret crowley's... mothering? as something that makes crowley happy, essentially encouraging it, even when he recognises that it's dismissive of his own capability. what this says about aziraphale's view of himself is another post, however.

but this take on crowley believing himself to be responsible for aziraphale's safety feels especially pertinent when you look at ep4; aziraphale's life (such as it is) is in crowley's hands, and aziraphale is trusting him to miss. there's arguably no actual teamwork here, and to be honest there isn't even really a stake; aziraphale is handing over everything to crowley (he doesn't actively do anything himself to work with crowley to ensure he isn't shot) and they could easily have walked off stage when realising their miracles don't work. but, at aziraphale's insistence, crowley plays along and is put in a position of needing to succeed. this situation is entirely a reflection on aziraphale - he should have called it off, and had many opportunities to do so up until the actual rifle fire - but crowley potentially takes this to mean that aziraphale can't be trusted with his own safety (and this is arguably a belief that i think crowley's held since at least 1793, but probably before). its immediately countered later in the dressing room, however, where aziraphale is the one to save crowley in an instance where there actually are high-risk stakes, but crowley doesn't even acknowledge this in the bookshop afterwards. i think his mind is made up by that point: his role in aziraphale's existence is predominantly to shelter and protect him, especially from himself, and *harks back to where i think crowley's trauma stems from; that he's the only one to see when something is wrong, so he considers it entirely up to him to play saviour - the hero - because no one else can be trusted to see it or do it.

going into your second ask; why aziraphale chooses not to tell crowley about the antichrist. i think it's something that was in another LWA ask(?) but my thoughts are this; crowley has just proposed that aziraphale kill the antichrist. now, we don't have a confirmed reason as to why crowley tries to get aziraphale to do this; it could be that he just really doesn't want to kill children (which, post-job, fair enough), it might be because killing the antichrist himself would send alarm bells to hell that one of their own is working to thwart armageddon by killing their master's child (whereas aziraphale could get away with it), or because he's testing aziraphale to see how far he is willing to go along with crowley on this scheme. it could be all three, plus others, but nothing is confirmed, and the way that crowley broaches this topic is immoral. it comes back to the old standby of a lack of meaningful communication between the two of them; had crowley explained any of these reasons, and asked aziraphale to kill the antichrist, aziraphale may still have refused, but it would have gone some way to giving justification for the ask in the first place, and kept them working as a team. the only reason we get is at the bandstand, "i'm not personally up for killing kids" which, in my eyes, does nothing to help crowley's case here.

but in any case, aziraphale is visibly uncomfortable with it. LWA pointed out in their ask yesterday that aziraphale's responses for not killing a child are arguably just as indicative of a lack in morality as crowley tempting him to it in the first place, and this is true - but his actions after finding out where adam was speaks volumes. it's my personal thought that he is safeguarding adam in the only hands that he knows, at this point, will not harm him: his own. if he tells crowley, he suspects crowley will pressure him into killing adam (which, actually, is the case in ep6 - "until he grows up?! shoot him, aziraphale! - and aziraphale is only stopped by madame tracy). aziraphale has the pretty clear affirmation that heaven/the archangels are not on the side of humanity. so, his last resort is god herself, whom he tries to reach but gets blocked by the metatron who reiterates the party line. aziraphale reassesses, immediately calls crowley to bring him up to speed, and formulate a plan to get to tadfield before everyone else does.

the thing is, the hero narrative for me (once again, something that an ask from my best buddy LWA helped me begin to parse out) swaps immediately on that bench scene. aziraphale takes control, comes up with the solutions to the problems that are being thrown in their path; as you said - stopping the hellhound, returning to tadfield for further reconnaissance, and engaging the WA. these instances, to me, literally show that whilst they're working together, they're not fully working as a team; crowley rather spectacularly messed up on multiple counts, and aziraphale had to claw back some semblance of a cohesive plan to bring everything back to rights. i therefore don't think he's entirely unjustified for the "you" language in the car, given that it was crowley that lost the boy/knows his birthday. if anything, crowley desperately switching to "we" doesn't suggest teamwork to me, but suggests avoidance of any blame that, tbh, sits far more on his shoulders than on aziraphale's, it's the unreliable narrator thing again; same as when he says, "so the humans beat me to it, that's not my fault", he's not accepting any responsibility or accountability for events derailing where he's had an active part in, whether the mistake was innocent or not.

as for aziraphale changing the subject when crowley asks what they do with the child once they find him, bear in mind that crowley nearly runs over a pedestrian, which is the ultimate subject-change here! but then yes, aziraphale does change the subject - because if he can't come up with an answer, is crowley about to suggest they kill the kid again? specifically, that aziraphale kill the child? it's still a boundary that aziraphale is unwilling to cross, but he doesn't have a better idea to counter it (thinking about it, this gives me the same feeling as the resurrectionist episode; when morag dies, crowley practically goads aziraphale for his lack of action. it's not unwarranted, but it is arguably unkind).

when aziraphale picks up the book from the car when they get back to soho, i too think (given god's narration over his particular interest in books of prophecy) aziraphale simply gets distracted. which is a particularly bonehead move given the circumstances, admittedly, because there's nothing at that point to indicate that answers to the antichrist problem would definitely be in the book... it's practically incidental that he comes across the 666 prophecy (i won't be getting into the weeds of parsing out divine intervention, not here!). but his first reaction is to go to archangels with the information, because his naive faith that heaven would want the same for the world as he does (ie. for it to survive, protect the innocent) does logically trump the benefits of telling crowley at this point, now that things have gone to shit.

when that doesn't work, he lies to crowley at the bandstand, but to safeguard the child's safety by doing so. this is, to my mind, the most ethical thing aziraphale can do at this point (and is another instance of where aziraphale, despite crowley being the one to preach the concept to him, is able to more successfully navigate the grey than crowley is). aziraphale is practically left in a position where he does have to operate on his own and by his own terms, because the alternative is not an option. it all roots back to where crowley, imo, should have never entertained tempting aziraphale to kill a child - especially one that by the point of the bandstand aziraphale knows would have been a complete innocent - without either giving full context as to why he was asking, or indeed should have entertained different options to resolve the issue, rather than double down on it at the bandstand.

this is probably the most rambling of my ask responses to date, @on-till-morning, so congratulations!!!✨ i think my bottom line is that i'm entirely empathetic to any trauma crowley (or indeed aziraphale) has, and how it affects their actions in the narrative, but ultimately i do not see it as an excuse; these are beings that are capable of acting and behaving morally and ethically, and it seems that they both fall short of that time and time again - especially the instances where they fail each other. lots of lessons to be learnt in s3!!!

please feel free to come back at any time; these length and complexity of asks make my brain hurt, but my heart sing!!!✨

[sinnersandsaints-linwrites]

Hi there! I absolutely ADORED your demo omg you cannot believe. Khari is the love of my life just saying...fdjsklaf anyway what are some of your favourite IF's? Completed or otherwise, anything from paid released games, itch.io games, stuff from choicescript etc. :D

hello! <3

first of all -- THANK YOU for the kind words, and welcome to the Khari fan club, we have cookies and carrots <3

as for my favorite IFs; okay this will be a long list so brace yourself! (and I do apologise to all authors for the spam)

Most of those are demos or in development, but nevertheless they are all amazing and I replay them way too often;

Sinners (demo) by @olivewrites-if / @sinners-if - you get to romance a villain, I feel like this is enough to get most people hooked (demo)

Honor Among Thieves (demo) by @leoneliterary - fantasy with some romance and intrigue, and as I am a fan of anything that has guilds (Skyrim w/ thieves guild, Assassin's Creed and the sort) I just love this one

Superstition S1 & S2 (finished) by @13leaguestories - supernatural, found family, powers, romance, angels, demons, hunting; what more to want?

Throne of Ashes (demo) by @13leaguestories - fantasy (but with pretty mature themes), romance; there are houses (MC is from House of Phoenix) and each character is just chefs kiss imo

Unwilling Souls (demo) by @unwilling-souls-if - angels!!!! but they are not your typical "angels"!!!! and there's lots of angst, and it's just awesome

Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian (demo) by @defiledheartsblog - dark historical fiction, romance, some fantasy elements; personally I replayed it 3 times in a row and was never bored once and that says something since my attention span is like 5 minutes at best

Supernatural in New York (demo) by @llamagirl28 - lighthearted urban fantasy with romance; think Supernatural if it was actually good and diverse, it scratches my adhd brain in just the right way, and the characters are amazing

The Bastard of Camelot (demo) by @llamagirl28 - I replayed it 8 times, no joke, and I still love it and it's my comfort IF I'd say; I love the story, the characters, customisation, and the idea behind it all.

The King's Hound (demo) by @kal-down / @the-kingshound - I am a sucker for Arthurian Legends, and I'm a sucker for fantasy and historical fiction in general, and it's written so well I want to cry every time I replay it

The Abyssal (demo) by @theabyssal - you get to play as Death what more can someone want??? and it gives me god of war / mythologies vibes, so I of course replayed it over 10 times.

Water to Blood (demo) by @veirsewrites - vampire MC who owns a nightclub, I'm sorry but this is all I needed to be obsessed. it reminds me of the show Lucifer, but it's also so unique that I happily replay it all the time.

Blood Moon (demo) by @barbwritesstuff - werewolves. that's all. that's the tweet.

Absentia (demo) by @absentia-if - I'm a sucker for crime stories, and this had me hooked from the start, and I love how complex each character is.

Exile (demo) by @exilethegame - dark fantasy with pretty mature and violent themes; replayed it so many times I'm ashamed to admit the actual number.

A Mage Reborn (demo) by @mage-parivir - I've been replaying it religiously since November of 2021 so yeah, I'm obsessed, and not even sorry. Fantasy games are my jam.

Speaker (demo) by @speakergame - one of the first IFs I played I think, and I still adore it to bits; it's written so well, and I adore the detective-supernatural vibes.

Ballad of the Judgement of Night (demo) by @nikkefort-dev - it was one of first 5 IFs I ever played, and I can safely say it's one of my absolute favorites; I adore the themes of angels/demons and 'fallen ones'.

Citadel (demo) by @bouncyballcitadel - medical drama; didn't know I liked medical dramas but now I do, and I'm in love with this IF in its entirety. also made me realise I'm gayer than I thought.

Villain's Promise (demo) by @villains-promise - fantasy with romance and betrayal, that's all I need for my soul. also in the first 5 IFs I ever played, and still love it.

Wolfwater (demo) by @carrs-universe-if - first IF I ever played, got me into IFs, and I love it to bits. Psychological thriller/body horror with some supernatural themes.

The Ballad of Devil's Creek (demo) by @devilscreekballad - western with romance and angst, and unlike all westerns it's actually diverse and inclusive so of course I love it.

Larkin (demo) by @larkin-if - vampires, hunters, and general Midnight Mass vibes; I'm here for it.

These Crimson Strings (demo) by @thesecrimsonstrings-if - MC is an ancient vampire who meets their long lost (dead) soulmate reborn as someone 'new'; the angst is amazing.

A Tale of Crowns (demo) by @ataleofcrowns - no joke replayed it over 10 times, loved it every single one of them. Fantasy with some court intrigue and amazing companions.

I have more but the list is already so long, I don't want this to be dismissed/blocked as a bot message or something kjfhfd

[bonny-kookoo]

Bunny Boy (JJK x Reader)☁️⚠️🔪(💜)🔞 Part 3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere!AU, Stalker!AU, questionable romance, smut, Oneshot

Warnings: (oh boy) Stalking, Obsession, Yandere themes, cute Koo but aggressive, he ready to fight, graphic description of violence, blood, very twisted JK, oblivious! Reader, kinda Stockholm-syndrome Reader?, soft romantic lovemaking, body worship, Dom! Jungkook, Sub! Reader, Handjob (fem. receiving), oral (fem. receiving), protected sex because even with your mind scrambled up in a frying pan we still wrap it before tapping it y’all hear me STDs ain’t cute Susan

Summary: It all started with a hello kitty charm.

A/N:(IMPORTANT) I’d like to note here that I do not condone nor romanticize any of the things depicted in this. This is purely fictional, and only to be seen as a work of art, not as a depiction of real life relationships. For short: if he a creep, kick his balls, don’t kiss. Thank you.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

His eyes had seen the words written in neat lettering time and time again, yet he still read it again, trying to calm himself down.

They were trying to take you away.

Your parents were basically not as financially stable as you thought, basically having the audacity to ask you for money.

He was trying not to snap.

He'd known that your mother was a whore, already trying to safe your situation by digging up information he'd rather delete from his mind, forever scarred with the blasphemic image of her showing herself off to strangers on the web like a cheap commercial before a video starts, desperation being an understatement to describe her actions. Or maybe she did it only for the thrill.

She was a vile and distusting woman after all.

It was quite confusing to think of her as the woman who'd been responsible for bringing you into this world. He had a hard time believing it as he thought about your gentle and sweet nature, pure and caring while this sorry excuse of a human being did everything to play with karma it seemed.

Well, maybe he'd change his name for a day and play that role for her.

After all, she was an impatient woman he'd noticed from her constant reminding to buy obscene photos and short videos of her truly underwhelming body for an amount of money he'd rather spend on a coffee and a small breakfast to share with you, if he was being honest.

Why someone would genuinely pay for content like that was beyond him.

"I dont.. understand-" The female voice quivered on the other side of the line, making the corners of his lips turn upwards a bit as he listened to it, gaining some sort of satisfaction in knowing he'd gotten under her skin.

"Oh but I think you do." He said, voice smooth like velvet as he watched her pace back and forth in front of her admittedly bad webcam of her opened laptop. Living off of her husbands money couldn't be so luxurious he thought, if she couldn't even afford a decent laptop for the things she did whenever no one was looking.

It was truly making his saliva taste bitter merely thinking about it.

"If you think deleting your account will safe you, you're even more stupid than I initially thought." He mumbled into his phone as he saw her eyes widen, hands stalling as her gaze locked with the tiny device on top of her screen. She probably paled, yet the quality was too bad to tell for sure. "Everything has already been saved and will remain in my possession for as long as I have need of it." He stated, and clicked his tongue as she seemed to think of something to get herself out of it. "And remember; calling the police or informing any other authority will only result in you having to admit to your crimes as well. And I believe that isn't truly what you want." She snapped, hitting her table as she watched the camera, unknowing how Jungkook didn't even pay attention anymore, knowing he'd finally caught her head inside his noose.

"How much do you want?" She gritted out, and he chuckled, before clearing his throat.

"Your mindset truly disgusts me." He said, before sighing. "I don't want your fucking money."

He sat down properly again as he looked at his screen again.

"But I want you to do something for me.."

"It's nice to know that she finally found someone who can look after her." Your father stated, smiling at Jungkook who sat next to you at the table,taking your hand in his as he mirrored the gesture, spotting the way your mother tensed up in the corner of his vision, making him chuckle a bit.

"No, really, I am happy I've found her." He said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit shyly, making you giggle at his antics. Initially, you'd been a little worried when your parents wanted to meet Jungkook, not even knowing how they got to know about your relationship- your mother, however, had cleared things up for you, explaining that he'd updated them on your condition when you were in hospital. Maybe she did care, after all. "Right, angel?" He said, and you nodded, smiling with a bit of redness on your cheeks.

Absolutely divine.

"Alright, let me clean this up, You guys can head to bed, its already late." Your father said as he stood up, everyone else following after, when you'd suddenly grabbed Jungkooks plate and empty glass, smiling. Out of the corner of his he could see your mother empty her glass greedily, making him smile even wider.

Greed was a sin to be punished, after all.

"I'll do that, don't worry." You smiled, and he cooed at the sight. You were so absolutely sweet, he was always astounded at it, even though he should be getting used to it by now. He'd never get used to you, however. He nodded, giving you a kiss to your cheek as your father called for your mother, who'd been about to leave the table.

"Can you show Jungkook here where the guest room is? Help him set the bed, will you." He spoke, warmth as fake as her eyelashes as she smiled tensely, nodding towards Jungkook as he followed, comfortable with leaving you and your father alone for the moment. He wasn't a threat at all.

Your mother however, was a different story.

If she'd thought he wouldn't pick up on her dark gazes and blunt lies she truly was brainless. But then again, considering what she did with her freetime, he wouldn't be surprised to find her entirely empty.

Opening the door of the guest room, your mother closed the door behind him, slowly walking towards his back which was turned towards her, hands running over his shoulderblades as he shuddered.

But not with pleasure.

"I bet a young boy like you has stamina, heh?" She said, trying to form a seducing tone with her voice, yet failed as his eyes continued to stare forward, cold as ever as he stood unmoving, even when she came even closer. "Why would you get yourself someone like her anyways? There's nothing about her.." She chatted away, before stopping. "Wha-" She breathed out as she felt something poke her hip.

She was dead inside already, so why was she still up and walking like a zombie?

"You truly are disgusting." He murmured, turning around to hold his hand against her throat, backing her up until she could feel the wooden door against her back, chin pushing itself upwards as she looked at him with wide eyes. "To imagine that your rotten womb gave birth to an angel like her.." He said, eyes still trained on hers as he pushed a bit more, feeling and hearing her struggle, before moving away from her, snapping the knife he'd in his other hand shut to put it back inside his pocket as he opened the drawers, searching for fresh sheets. "I advise you to not ever touch me again if you want to keep your skin intact. It's nauseating enough that I have to share the same roof with someone like you tonight." He said, as he finally found what he was looking for, not caring as she swallowed hard, leaving the room and him alone, but not before running into you.

"Oh, sorry, I.. Uh, Jungkookie?" You asked, peeking into the room as his entire demeanor made a full 180 in front of your mothers eyes, body language suddenly speaking a different dialect it seemed, as he smiled, walking up to you, and leading you inside the room, closing the door with a last warning look thrown at her.

"Please angel.." He hummed against your skin, as you shyly touched his skin, making him sigh in bliss. He'd showered after his encounter with your witch of a mother, yet he couldn't help but not feel clean enough- he needed your touch, your salvation, to finally feel good again, to exorcise the demonic memories of her gut wrenching hands on his back, or her obscene words towards him. He needed your purity to cleanse him again, to give him back his wings you'd granted him.

"They won't hear." He promised, but in reality he wanted them to, craving deep down inside his being to drench the walls in your heavenly sounds, to clean this room of her presence with the help of the pleasure he was giving you. He felt you give into him with ease, smile warm and happy as his fingers entered you, knowing that he could not nestle himself inside you without sacrificing safety. And getting you pregnant was far from his mind.

No, the only thing ever being inside you would be him, and no one else.

You breathed out in sweet euphoria as he worked you with his hand, before dipping down, taking the covers with him as his tongue got in contact with your pearl, mouth feasting on you like a starving man enjoying his first meal, humming in pleasure as your hand found its way into his hair, gently tugging, never hurting.

He highly doubted you could ever hurt a fly.

And you'd never have to, with Jungkook at your side ready to soak his hands in the blood of anyone you wanted to have killed in cold murder, all of it with a smile on his face. He was ready to flood the streets in his own guts just to make more room for your praise and affection inside of him, he'd do it all for you in a time shorter than his heart could ever beat.

Your sighs turned into mewls.

He pushed your legs apart gently, hands reminiscing in the feel of your skin underneath his palms as he put even more effort into his actions, making you squirm in pleasure as your back arched like a feline stretching itself after a well deserved rest as you came undone with his touch, mouth finally parting from you, crawling upwards to your face as he kissed you, uncaring of your own residue on his lips.

You loved him.

He suddenly let out a short moan as he felt your delicate hands touch his bulge, eyes questioning as you silently asked for his permission.

Who was he to deny you anything?

As you pulled him out of his underwear he sighed at the view, your entire body showing off how lost you were with the task you'd taken on, making him smile as he began to help you, placing your hands around him in a proper way and showing you how to please him.

You learned quick.

Slowly growing more confident, you started to grip him with a bit more confidence, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as you suddenly dipped down, making his eyes as wide as the moon before he huffed out a breath, head falling back as he could only stare at the white ceiling when your tongue touched his tip. Your soft lips took him in, inviting him inside the warmth of your mouth as you gently sucked before releasing him again, using your saliva and his own precum as lubrication for easier motions.

He was in heaven.

Of course he'd though about it, yet it seemed almost embarrassing how he fell apart so quickly under your touch, cum suddenly spurting out as he came violently, not prepared to last under such circumstances. He caught his breath, smiling apologetically as he stood up on slightly unsteady legs, reaching for some tissues inside his backpack near the bed before crawling back to you, cleaning up your face and neck with the outmost care as you suddenly spoke. "So, was that.. good?" You asked, and he scoffed, kissing you deeply before he rested his forehead against yours.

"Angel, you just sent me to heaven." He said, making you giggle as he made you lie down, cleaning between your thighs as to not make too much of a mess of the sheets.

His cum stained tissues however, he'd leave as a present for the witch to find.

If she was to wake again, that is.

"I'm so sorry, she isn't feeling well-" Your father apologized, yet Jungkook simply waved him off with a sympathizing smile. You nodded next to him, agreeing with Jungkook that this was simply a bad day for her. Everyone got sick once in a while. "I hope you have a safe trip home, and thank you for the wine Jungkook, you really have taste." He said, pale skin showing to him that he'd seemingly been affected as well. "We'll stay in touch." He told Jungkook, hugging him in a friendly manner as a form of goodbye.

He was collateral damage.

He actually liked the man a bit, noticing how calm and collected he was, even though he had to share his life with a woman such as your mother. He admired him really, for spending his time with her every day, for simply coexisting with her, without feeling the need to end his own life.

But maybe this man had exactly those thoughts he wondered, as he though about the wine bottle inside his car, evidence he'd taken with him to discard of in safe distance.

And as you both waved one last time, driving off, Jungkook only had one sentence running around inside his head as he thought of the witch that was your mother.

"This time, please just stay dead."

“I don’t have much space-“ he said, sitting on the engine hood of his car, patting his thighs as an invitation for you. “But it’s gonna be okay. I like having you close anyways.” He mused, voice low and drawled as if exhausted. You sat on his lap, legs hanging off on one side, head leaning on his chest, craving his warmth like a newborn kitten. He snaked his arms around your form, bathing in your presence in pure feelings of bliss as you sighed. He looked down on you, hand running over the top of your head. “What is it angel?” He said, worry a present undertone in his voice. You played with the buttons of his coat as he watched the sun set in front of you both, twilight slowly setting in.

“They.. won’t take me away from you, right?” You asked timidly, unknowing why this option scared you so much. Those were your parents; you shouldn’t be scared of them, should you? Yet Jungkook had told you to be wary of them, and you knew he was to be trusted- when has he ever been wrong? He only wanted your best, just like he said; he only wanted you safe and protected, and it made you feel oh so special. The pure option that you could be forced to live without him now seemed utterly terrifying, like a phobia you didn’t know you had.

“No, no angel.” He said, smile ever so present as if he’d just been gifted the thing he’d always wanted. You seemed so upset with the mere possibility of being away from him, it showed him that you had finally accepted him fully; you finally were his and his alone. “I won’t let anyone take you away from me.” He growled possessively, eyes growing cold as you leaned even closer to him, making him take a deep breath in fondness. “I’d rather die.” He whispered, and your head shot up, delicate hands on his chest, and an absolutely divine and desperate look on your face.

“Then I’ll die with you! You can’t leave me behind-“ you said, wide eyes looking at him in pure horror of the simple mention of his death, and he chuckled, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear with gentle hands, as he answered you lowly.

“Don’t worry angel-“ he said, his hand resting on your cheek, eyes watching you like a piece of art. “I’ll take you with me wherever I go.” He said, leaning in for a kiss you eagerly accepted, uncaring of how his hands gripped your waist tightly. Dangerously. And you were just as uncaring of his next words that left his lips between heated kisses.

“Even if I’d have to kill you myself.” he mumbled into you as you smiled.

You felt like Romeo and Juliet.

Or bonny and clyde for that matter.

The news should've hit you hard, yet it only left you with questions. You by now had your suspicions on what had happened, yet instead of igniting fear, it only left you with more things to wonder about. Why would he do these things?

Was he this scared to loose you that he even killed in his desperation to keep you close?

Would you one day be his victim as well?

"Angel?" He asked, standing behind you as his eyes scanned your form, noticing how you'd stopped packing your stuff, simply sitting in your old bedroom, on the floor, on your knees, in the middle of the room. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Well.. were you?

And if you were-

For how long?

Taglist:

[tookishcombeferre]

Fandom Discourse

I have many special interests, and so my blog is very eclectic. But, I wanted to stand in support of a couple of folks who are having a hard time in the fandom belonging to one of my special interests. 

I don’t usually like to pile on, but ableism in this fandom is rampant, and it’s time I said something instead of just feeling sorry for myself. 

More on this under the cut.

Firstly, I want to elevate the voice of @phandombigotryarchive and @your-angle-of-music who have pointed out a lot of really really important things that I am, as a white person who loves the music in Phantom of the Opera and Erik, still learning, educating myself on, and researching. 

I know, for certain, that I have probably intentionally reblogged things from folks in the fandom and/or inadvertently supported folks on AO3 who are actively making this an unsafe space for POC and trans fans. For that, I am deeply sorry and want to do my homework better before supporting artists/writers who are not showing human decency. 

Thank you both for the work that you, and others, are putting into the fandom to make it safer for everyone to interact with. 

Additionally, I want to speak to my own relationship with this fandom as an autistic person. I knew, as I read through what was being said recently, that it was time to make my own post about something that has been bothering me about this fandom since I entered into it at the age of 13 long before my official autism diagnosis. 

To me, as an autistic person, Erik’s story always resonated with me as someone who is neuroatypical. Erik was living and observing neurotypical people while not knowing how to or having the ability to enter into their community. However, he LONGED for it. 

As an autistic person, this made a lot of sense to me. I, too, felt isolated from most other people, even if I was in close physical proximity. It was like a mirror where I could see out into the world, but the world couldn’t find me. So, I found the ALW imagery very applicable to the way I saw the world as early as 6. 

However, as I entered into the fandom and read fics from other writers, Erik remained trapped behind an inability to communicate EVEN when he and Christine were in a long standing relationship. He was flighty, obsessive, and just down right weird. I began to wonder if that’s how my romantic relationships would be, and if I would ever be able to be “a normal person” in a relationship with someone else. 

Erik in most fanfics, even in one’s I’ve mostly liked, does not get to develop beyond the way he is written in ALW or Leroux’s work. We’ve spent so much time making him “in character” without ever exploring the possibility that Erik might be able to engage in his special interests and develop into a fully functional autistic adult. However, I think, that is in part because we like to demonize and/or infantilize and/or fetishize him.  

Erik is not a baby. He’s not a sweet innocent child. He has killed people. He’s done wrong. He is capable of feeling emotions very deeply, including anger. He has a lot of depth that can be explored in fic. But, we don’t. We often reduce him to the weirdly-attractive, strange speaking, Angel-man behind the mirror. 

I find this most apparent in the way people write Erik’s dialogue.

The way Erik speaks, in the third person I mean, has always been an issue for me when I read fan fiction as well as the original Leroux text. As someone who talks to themselves quite frequently to help process sensory overstimulation/remember tasks, though not necessarily in the third person, I find it really uncomfortable how people use this in fic. I’m uncomfortable because Erik usually does this either when he’s super angry and beating up on Christine OR when he’s super sad and acting like a child. There’s never any mention of Erik talking to himself in the third person (or at all) when he’s pretending people are interviewing him about his latest composition or when he’s just trying to remember something important. 

For me, it’s the context that’s important. 

This is just one example of what the demonization and/or infantilization I’ve seen in fic in this fandom. 

Others include but are not limited to: 

1) Erik’s (often violent) meltdowns:  

Why are they problematic in fan fiction in this fandom: meltdowns are not just glorified rage fits. They’re scary and overwhelming. I usually fall asleep on the floor shortly after having one. I don’t just yell, throw something, scare people, and then sulk. If I’m violent at all, it’s towards myself. 

2) Erik’s obsession with Christine

Why is it problematic in fan fiction in this fandom: a lot of people sort of poke fun at Erik’s social ineptness when it comes to dealing with his romantic feelings for Christine (for example the life size mannequin of her). Yes, Erik loves her. However, do we really have to perpetually treat him like a high school boy? Do we have to make his crush really predatory just for character development? Is this really the only thing he loves? The answer to all of these questions is no - in case you were wondering. 

You know what I’d like to see Erik love more? His music and his organ. Can we give Erik’s organ and his music the love and rightful place in his life that they also deserve? For once, can we acknowledge that Erik’s special interests are as important to him as Christine? No. We can’t. We won’t. 

3) Putting Erik in socially uncomfortable positions for character development

Why is it problematic in fan fiction in this fandom: Neuroatypical people’s pain is not for you to profit off of in your fics. Period. It’s not character development. It hinders our character development. I am not a more “well developed character” for the number of socially awkward/ bullying situations that I’ve been forced into. Putting Erik in crowded spaces and giving him panic attacks sucks ass. No. Stop doing it. Find a better way, or just stop writing it all together. 

This is not an exhaustive list, but it is something that I’ve wanted to bring up for years. It feels nice to get this off my chest. 

TL;DR: Erik’s passions, lack of social skills, and other “quirks” of his character always made him a character I empathized with because he was like me. I don’t understand why people use these same quirks to infantilize, fetishize, and/or demonize him. I, an autistic adult, am not a child, not a fetish, and not evil. 

[grumpysepticsauce]

YouTuber Roleplay Plots (Characters Included!)

//tw for mentions of temporary character death and violence

Before we get into the actual plot ideas I had that I wanted to share with you, in case you are interested in roleplaying any of these with me, here's a list of all the YouTubers I'm capable of roleplaying as;

Pewdiepie

Roomie (Joel)

Boyinaband (Dave)

Markiplier (Includes Egos)

Jacksepticeye (Includes Egos)

CrankGameplays

Game Grumps - Arin

Game Grumps - Dan

Wilbur Soot

Corpse

Quackity

RubberNinja (Ross)

Vinny Vinesauce

Joel Vargskelethor

JaidenAnimations

TheOdd1sOut

SuperMega- Matt

SuperMega- Ryan

Daniel Howell

AmazingPhil

Muyskerm

LordMinion777

WildSpartanz

Kingani

Pokimane

ihascupquake

Aphmau

CallMeKevin

GrayStillPlays

CaptainSauce

The roleplay can be completely platonic or include romance! But remember; if you want to include romance between two or more YouTube stars, you must be aware that it is a fictional situation and the pairing is not something to obsess over. OCs are welcome, too! I'll gladly play as one of your comfort stars for a character and I can play as more than one character at a time!

Now, let me share my plot ideas with you!

Plot #1: Among Us

Ten YouTubers are placed in a virtual reality simulation for a full 48 hours. In this simulation, the team of ten is placed on a spacecraft by the government and sent off to search for alien life. The problem is; two of the crewmates amongst them are already aliens, hungry killers at that. Character A is an imposter who actually feels guilty about the mayhem they have to cause, especially since they can hear and see the ghosts of those they've killed. Character B is an innocent crewmate who anxiously sides with Character A and the two team up until Character B finally becomes suspicious. But just as Character B tries to get away..Character A brings them down. Now Character A is haunted by their ghost until the end of the simulation.

Plot #2: Angels and Demons

Character A is a beast known as a fallen angel. Fallen Angels are forced out of heaven for supposed wrongdoings, and in this case, Character A is framed for a murder that they did not commit. This turns Character A into a cold-blooded bastard who doesn't trust anyone, not even the demons they're forced to live amongst now. Meanwhile, Character B was sent to hell completely on accident. Their friend attempted to summon a demon, which required a sacrifice. Character B became said sacrifice and ended up here as a supposed punishment for assisting in the summoning. When Character B meets Character A, they try to help the fallen angel go back to their positive ways so the two can go back to heaven together.

Plot #3: Band AU

Character A is the lead singer of a band that they created with their two best friends. One of those best friends is Character B, who has never sang for the band before, but has been secretly writing song lyrics and singing when they're alone. When Character A doesn't notice that Character B is trying to get their attention with their own songs, Character B goes to one of the members of the band's tour group for comfort. Character A becomes jealous, seeing Character B with another person, and decides to write a song about them, not knowing that all Character B wants is to be in the spotlight just once.

Plot #4: My Hero

Character A has been living a peaceful life in their apartment in the city for a few years now. But when Character B moves in next door, things take a sudden and unexpected turn. It gets to a point where Character A can hear yelling and banging on the walls every night and actually becomes concerned for Character B's safety. However, when Character A goes to confront Character B, they claim that they're not in any danger, despite living with a partner with anger issues. And the worst part is..Character B has a young child, an infant that's caught up in this mess too. Character A is determined to get both Character B and their child out of their abusive home and to help them recover.

Plot #5: Wolf Pack AU

In Mystery Falls, there's a large, dense forest that consists of four different wolf packs. Each pack owns their own area of land and isn't allowed to infiltrate any of the other territories without permission. But all of these wolves have a secret..they're actually a species known as Lycans. Lycans have both a human and a wolf form. They're identified as Alpha, Omega or Beta, based on their gender and sexual orientation. Each pack of Lycans has an Alpha leader, an Omega queen, and a Beta guard leader. The guard is the group of wolves that goes hunting with the Alpha every half-moon. Character A is the Alpha leader and after a fire occurs across their previous territory, not only is the pack forced to move, but the leader loses their partner and their pups. This makes them a stern leader, who shows no mercy and treats others like they don't mean as much to the pack. Character B is originally just a human, but after being attacked by another pack leader, they find themselves turning into a Lycan and come across Character A's pack, asking for their help. Character A originally insists upon turning Character B away, until the pack decides that Character B can act as a temporary queen until Character A gets another mate. Character A ends up finding a new friendship in Character B, and the two slowly become inseparable.

Plot #6: Zombie Apocalypse

Character A had just been arrested after being framed for the murder of a stranger. While on their way to jail in the back of a police car, something slams into the windshield and the vehicle crashes on the side of the road. When Character A wakes up from being unconscious, they find the police officer that was driving the car is now dead and that they're surrounded by..zombies. Character A manages to get rid of their handcuffs, finds a weapon and gets to work on shooting away at the zombies crawling around them. Once they can make a run for it, they escape into the nearest house, which appears to be abandoned. But it's not abandoned. Character B is a child that was abandoned by their parents and is hiding in the treehouse right outside of the abandoned home. The home was actually invaded by zombies, and Character B's parents are..dead. Character A begrudgingly gains Character B's trust and the two become traveling partners as they try to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Plot #7: Superhero AU

Character A is the hero of the city. A masked and mysterious character that everyone admires because of their strength and bravery. Character B is a new villain who has come to destroy the city and leaves their trail for Character A to find. The two would never admit it out loud, but they actually enjoy playing their little game of cat and mouse together. When Character A ends up in trouble due to the wrongdoings of another bad guy, they're much surprised to find that Character B is there to save them. That's when Character A realizes that Character B isn't so bad after all and is now determined to teach Character B how to be a good person, despite the fact that Character B runs away every time Character A comes across them.

Plot #8: Littlespace

Character A has been a caregiver for a few different age regressors over the years. They love taking care of those who are vulnerable and are in need of a new way to cope. However, none of the age regressors they've ever cared for have stuck around for a long time. The previous littles have only relied on Character A until they found someone else to take care of them. So when Character B, one of Character A's closest friends, reaches out with an interest in learning more about what it's like to age regress, Character A is shocked but more than happy to be the best caregiver possible for their friend.

These plots can be edited to suit your roleplaying needs! I'd also like to hear any ideas you may have. Please don't show any hate or distaste towards this post, as everything written here is purely for fun and is not meant to be taken seriously. Please direct message me if you're interested. I do have Discord, you can ask for it in DMs if it's easier to talk there. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day!

Reblogs are appreciated, but do not repost.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! Recently I've been interested in old fics, can you make a fic rec of season 1 fics written before s2 happened? (Old in age and old in theme lol) ps. I love your work and admire you a lot 😘

Hi Nonny!

Ohhh, this is an interesting prompt indeed! This one required me to 1) figure out when S2 aired (Jan 15, 2012) and 2) to use the “sort by date” feature on Ao3 I have never ever used. I got tired from trying to find all the Pre-S2 fics in my FFNet recs, so I haven’t many of them on here. When I have more free time, I’ll do a part 2 list from FFNet. So, yeah, sorry about how long this one took to do. Hopefully you’ll find something you like!

And if I got any of these wrong, well at least you can read more fics lol.

(and thank you so much!! I’m all blushie!!)

FICS WRITTEN BEFORE S2

See also: TGG Related Fics

You Lead, I Lead, You Follow, I Follow by BrighteyedJill (M, 862 w., 1 Ch. || Fever, H/C, John Whump) – John wakes up after a chase gone wrong to find Sherlock watching over him, but he’s a little hazy on the details.

Easy like Sunday Morning by lbmisscharlie (G, 910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Breakfast in Bed, Epic Friendship, Platonics/Domestics) – John and Sherlock and their lazy, dysfunctional Sunday mornings in bed. In which Sherlock has difficulty sleeping and John makes lots of toast. Shameless fluff. Part 1 of No Mushrooms Please

A Metaphorical Gesture by cyparissus (T, 1,578 w., 1 Ch. || Marriage Proposal, Fluff) – "Sherlock, are you--" the words die in John's throat and he has to swallow and start again, "Are you asking me to marry you?"

Personal Space by probablyquantum (T, 1,814 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Cuddles, Nightmares, Awkwardness) – John and Sherlock renegotiate the rules governing personal space. Pre-Slash.

But Love Is A Voice On The Wind by Snow (M, 1,832 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Meddling Mycroft, Texting) – Sherlock keeps getting texts from Mycroft with tips on wooing John.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Duvet (green) by Mazarin221b (G, 2,021 w., 1 Ch. || Post-THoB, Mind Palace, Revelations, First Kiss) – Sherlock recalibrates and restructures his mind palace so it looks like 221b. What he chooses to put in John's room is a bit of a surprise, and a revelation.

Seventeen Letters by out_there (G, 2,357 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions) – "I love Sherlock," John says out loud, testing how the words feel in his mouth. It doesn't change anything. Sherlock's still the pillock who fiddled with his computer password.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John's bedroom is now a research library. It's not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They're friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it's not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It'll be fine.

Crime Scene Procedure for Death by Drowning by paxlux (T, 2,668 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, First Kiss, Sherlock’s Violin, Fluff) – He lies back in bed and listens to the notes and pictures them gathering around Sherlock’s feet like water. Part 1 of proper procedure

and stand there at the edge of my affection by coloredink (G, 2,683 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Letters, Clueless John) – "You've written love letters," Sherlock asserted.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

First Night Out by verityburns (M, 3,251 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Christmas, Dev. Rel.) – As John recovers from the effects of a brutal kidnapping, he and Sherlock attend the Yarders' Christmas Party. There are... developments on the dance floor...

Bagged & Tagged by Regency (T, 3,339 w., 1 Ch. || Drunken Confessions, Fluff and Crack, Marriage Proposal) – A very inebriated John devises a clever means of proposing marriage to Sherlock. Unfortunately he's forgotten all about it by the next morning.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, 3,614 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat) – In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics

All That I Have by the_arc5 (M, 3,721 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Pining Sherlock, John Whump, Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Light Angst) – In the aftermath of the Great Game, Sherlock finds himself with a new weakness. John is both the cause and the cure.

Water Is Another Matter by cathedral_carver (T, 3,903 w., 1 Ch. || Sick Fic, Pining, First Kiss, Heat Wave, Skinny Dipping) – He thinks it’s in trouble, his poor heart.

Someone Else’s Heart by thisprettywren (E, 4,188 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, H/C, POV Sherlock, Caretaking John, Pining Idiots) – A crime scene, a rainstorm, and something they both should have known all along.

Obsession, Appassionato by shinychimera, Yeomanrand (E, 4,249 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, First Time, Jealous Sherlock, Music / Sherlock’s Violin, Present Tense, Frottage) – John is late, and he hasn’t called, and Sherlock works himself into a state. Part 1 of Love and Ysaye

Practical Johnkeeping by what_alchemy (M, 4,330 w., 1 Ch. || Beekeeping, Aging, Gladstone, Tooth Rotting Fluff) – Sherlock predicts nectar flow the same way he deduces a murder, but he harvests the honey like John coddles the dog.

Sink Like a Stone by pennydreadful (T, 4,348 w., 1 Ch. || Angst / Dark, Cuddling/Snuggling) – After defeating Moriarty at the pool, life isn't quite the same around 221B Baker Street...it's more peaceful. And stranger.

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

A Quiet Murmuration by cathedral_carver (T, 4,684 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Kissing) – Just pay me back with one thousand kisses.

Applied Linguistics by what_alchemy (M, 4,837 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive / Anxious Sherlock, Introspection, Bed Sharing, Past John Whump, Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Word Play) – “He wants to shake John by the shoulders, wants to open his mouth and swallow John whole. Wants to marry him.” Sherlock searches for the right words.

Finding John by orphan_account (T, 5,456 w., 1 Ch. || Soul Bond AU, Symbolic Rings, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes has met exactly twenty-four Johns in his life. They have all been the wrong John. He's getting tired of waiting, staring at the inscription on his finger and wondering when his John will turn up, if ever. Part 1 of Inscriptions

Fa Subito by kim47 (E, 6,659 w., 1 Ch. || Suit Porn, Cockblocker Mycroft, Obsessed Sherlock, PWP) – John wears a suit. Sherlock finds it extremely distracting.

Sherlock’s Laboratory, Episode 1: Romance by berlynn_wohl (E, 6,900 w., 1 Ch. || Clones, Sci-Fi AU, Clone Sex, Foursome, Double Penetration) – “John, this isn’t one of your science fiction programmes. This is reality.“ Part 1 of Sherlock’s Laboratory

that thing you like by misspamela (E, 7,165 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers) – "Happy Christmas, etc. etc." Sherlock and John go to the Holmes’ for Christmas, and everyone thinks they’re together.

Galapogos by anchors (E, 8,460 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, 5 and 1, John Whump) – Somewhere in the depths of the universe, and somewhere in the middle of Sherlock's chest, a star goes into supernova.

To Quote Malcolm Tucker; or, Get The Fuck In or Fuck The Fuck Off by kim47 (T, 8,484 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous Sherlock, Flirting, Cockblocking) – Sherlock is cockblocker and a prick tease and John is not amused.

High Tide by stardust_made (T, 8,540 w., 1 Ch. || Jealousy, Angst, First Kiss) – A little favour Sherlock stupidly agrees to do for Mycroft leads to John meeting a handsome, affluent man, who is going out of his way to woo him. Sherlock struggles with the situation and with his own reactions to it. Part 1 of The High Tide Series

Let You Kiss Me (So Sweet and So Soft) by out_there (G, 8,659 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Kisses, Stroppy Sherlock, Confused John) – The first time Sherlock kisses him, John keeps his eyes open, and so does Sherlock, and mostly, he wonders what Sherlock could possibly be up to. There'll be some logic to this. Some ridiculous experiment about body warmth or respiratory rates or testing a new way of picking pockets. Sherlock does the unimaginable for bizarre reasons, but behind it, there's always logic and curiosity. Sometimes, it just takes him a while to explain it to John.

The Important Bit by Solshine (G, 9,984 w., 7 Ch. || Platonic Marriage, Domestics, Asexual Sherlock) – Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You by etothepii (T, 11,052 w., 1 Ch. || Winglock || Angels / Demons, Supernatural Elements, Occult) – Where Mycroft is an angel, Sherlock is a demon, and John is still John.

I See You Through by belovedmuerto (T, 12,078 w., 8 Ch. || Psychic AU || Empath John, Alternate TGG, Whump, Nightmares, Bedsharing, Slow Burn, Pre-Slash) – John has never asked Sherlock about his past, his childhood, the reason he quails in lonely misery almost every time he sees his brother. He’s never needed to. Part 2 of An Experiment in Empathy

The Velveteen Doctor by Lantean_Drift (M, 12,815 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Dev. Rel., Introspection, Mild Whump, Taking Care of Each Other) – A series of events that show John just how real he has become to Sherlock – like a bright, brilliant flash of colour in an otherwise greyscale world.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Lacuna by coloredink (E, 15,607 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Consent Issues, Drama, Amnesia) – God, it must have been terrible, to think that he would never have this again.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

Let's Make a Bed Out in the Rain by theimprobable1 (M, 17,664 w., 11 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, First Kiss, Unrequited, Jealous Sherlock, Protective Sherlock) – John is devastated after his long-term girlfriend leaves him. Sherlock helps him through it.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w., 7 Ch. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (G to M, 49,955 w. across 20 stories || Asexual Sherlock / Straight John, Est. Rel, Queerplatonic Relationship, Romance, Cuddling, Fluff, Platonic Romance, Domestics) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

The Progress of Sherlock Holmes by ivyblossom (E, 62,006 w., 25 Ch. || First Person Sherlock POV, Pining, Angst, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Sherlock Learns About Himself, Happy Ending) – Sherlock struggles with his feelings for John, makes a mistake, and learns just how important he and John are to each other. Non-BBC Mary / John, but it’s a *complicated* relationship.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

The Heart In The Whole by verityburns (E, 101,650 w., 21 Ch. || Post-TGG Canon Divergence, Drama & Angst, H/C, First Time, Blind Sherlock) – Events after ‘The Great Game’ leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own…

Performance In a Leading Role by Mad_Lori (E, 156,714 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Hollywood / Actor AU, Secret Relationship, Falling in Love, Slow Burn, Romance, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Pining) – Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world? Part 1 of Performance in a Leading Role

[eirikrjs]

Persona Q2 magic circle

Well, here’s another one from me. This bad boy pops up during fusions in Persona Q2: New Cinema Labyrinth.

(if it fails to load again, this or this link should show it… hopefully)

The main inspiration for this one seems to be the pentagram in Éliphas Lévi’s “Dogme et Rituel de la Haute Magie” (“Dogma and Ritual of High Magic”):

Design has some simplifications, alterations and additions. Only the pentagram itself, it’s shading (more or less), symbols of sun and moon, and the small circle at top are in place.

TETRAGRAMMATON is completely gone. Guess there’s no place for Megaten-style God in collective minds of regular Japanese teenagers that spend their free time battling horrors born from human psyche. The eyes are also gone.

The minor arcana symbols were moved from their positions between the points of the star directly into those points. They also have the same design that you see in Shuffle Time in Persona 3 and 4.

We have the addition of the outer circle which straight up tells you what the five points of a pentagram mean. It rotates clock-wise around the pentagram so no word is technically strictly aligned with any particular point of the pentagram, but it bugs me that I can’t make the minor arcana symbols align with their associated elements. Earth and Air need to be switched for that. Also, EARTH is written weird. Looks more like EARCE…

Side-note. This outer circle is mirrored and rotates counter-clock-wise in case of Fusion Accident. I just find it funny.

The Jupiter symbol (at least that’s what it apparently is) is replaced with the simplified Velvet Room logo from Persona 4 and 5. I guess it makes sense. The SPIRIT part of the pentagram carries the logo of the not quite material place where you sort your mind out.

Now for my least favorite part. The Hebrew text on Lévi’s pentagram reads “Adam”, “Eve”, “Atone”/”Forgive” and “Fear”/”Awe”. It got replaced with “Will”, “Bond” and “Hope”… in Enochian. I have no problem with Lévi’s pentagram having Persona’s own symbols in it, but addition of Enochian seems rather… muddling, I guess, even if Wikipedia claims that Enochian Magic is for summoning spirits. Also, I know that bonds, hopefulness and strength of will hold a large presence in Persona (in terms of mechanics, theme and/or narrative), but to put them on a magic circle like this seems… I can’t pick the words for it, but I don’t like it.

Caduceus, one of the symbols of opposite forces maintaining universal equilibrium, is replaced with the symbol from the back of Persona 3 and 4 Tarot cards. I’m pretty sure it’s a Persona original (possibly inspired by half-shadowed depictions of Greek comedy and tragedy masks). To me it seems to symbolize the two selves one needs to balance to be whole: the self shown to others, the mask we wear, and the self hidden from others, the face in the shadow of that mask. You need to be aware of both to be in personal equilibrium.

Now for the last removal. The letters Alpha and Omega are gone and I can find three potential reasons for it:

It was seen as symbol of God, so followed the fate of TETRAGRAMMATON.

It was seen as a symbol of duality, so followed the fate of caduceus.

It is a part of a very elaborate historical in-joke. Hermetic Order of Golden Dawn practiced Enochian Magic (they were in fact the ones to name the language Enochian, its creators just called it Angelic), but when the Order splintered, one guy in the faction Alpha et Omega tried to forbid Enochian Magic, finding it dangerously incomplete and damaging to the mind of practitioner (naming our old pal Crowley as the most telling example of that). The developers/writers could have decided that it’s only fair that if they add Enochian, they remove Alpha and Omega.

Now for the use of this symbol. As written in the aforementioned book’s volume I (“Dogma”), chapter 5:

The pentagram expresses the domination of the mind over the elements, and it is by this symbol that we enchain the demons of air, the spirits of fire, the specters of water, and the ghosts of the earth.

Armed with this symbol and properly prepared, you can see the infinite by using that faculty which is like the eye of your soul, and you will have the legions of angels and columns of demons serve you.

On surface level that’s all you need. Angels and demons serving you = using Personas. But the book often mentions astral light in which imprints of souls of the dead and reflections of spirits exist, and when you invoke them, those reflections and imprints are what you get. I could have missed it, but it doesn’t seem like Lévi bothered with giving a proper definition to astral light (and apparently claimed that he found it incommunicable), yet the mentions of it sound like something similar to Persona’s use of Collective Unconscious with archetypes and images of figures of myth, history and fiction residing in it. Now, obviously Caroline and Justine don’t do weeks-long rituals, described in the book, to give you new Personas, but the fact that they use film projectors (devices that emit light that bounces of the screen’s surface before we perceive it) for fusion might be a tongue-in-cheek reference to astral light with its reflections.

I know I’m probably reaching for connections where there aren’t any, but I’m an obsessive and biased fanboy. I feel obligated to do that.

P.S. The same book also gives us this take on Seal of Solomon:

Pretty sure we can thank/blame this one for QVOD SUPERIVS MACROPROSOPVS QVOD INFERIVS MICROPROSOPVS in the SMT1 Seal of Solomon.

P.P.S. Link to my original picture of magic circle from Persona 3 and 4, in case somebody is knowledgeable and eagle-eyed enough to definitively identify the symbol next to Mercury one.

______________________________________________________________

WELCOME TO EARCE

And it does make sense as a phonetic rendering of Japanese transliterated “earth” (アース, aasu) back into English. Honestly, that goof probably explains it all: someone on the team was assigned to design a proprietary version of the Levi pentagram and did their best. Occult flavor without any real significance. You know, the usual. You certainly thought about it more than whoever was responsible for this seal!

We use the suffix -rrhea to mean “flowing” (yes, as in diarrhea but also logorrhea for talkative types). Maybe sigilrrhea could be used to describe excessive modern misapplication of these magical symbols! And you are trying to identify the symbol that looks like the PlayStation triangle button?

I looked in my sigil dictionary and couldn’t find it. Doesn’t mean it’s not there, though–there are thousands to sift through. The book even has an index where you look them up by stroke count, just like kanji. Crazy correlation, but definitely valid. This symbol could just as easily be a counterfeit but it contains real, common elements like the circle and triangle. Onerous research for sure.

[gczebos]

19 for adult Reddie pls :)

19. I’ve missed this.

TW - none! Fluffy fun!

God, Richie just wanted to be home.

Being on tour was exhausting as hell, and even though this tour was far shorter than any he’d done Before Derry (his life was split into Before Derry and After Derry now, fuck that Before and After Christ shit fighting a demon clown was way more significant than the birth of a fictional baby), the tour was still longer than he wanted it to be.

And things were different now. Before Derry, he went on tour and came home to a sad and empty house, too big for just one lonely comedian.

After Derry, he had Eddie. And Duchess. And Juliet and Tatum and Lola. (Richie never thought he’d be a father, but every time him and Eddie fostered a child, they ended up adopting as soon as the system would let them.)

Things were different now, and although Richie loved performing for audiences across the United States, all he really wanted was to curl up with his husband, his kiddos, and his dog and watch holiday movies until they all fell asleep.

Who went to see comedy shows on Christmas Eve and Christmas anyway?

Eddie had been furious at first, but so had Richie - his manager said they had to schedule shows for when they’d sell best, and apparently Trashmouth Tozier fans wanted to see him make bad jokes as a holiday gift. His manager Lauren told him to buck up, and use the money to buy the girls the best gifts they’d ever had, and have their own little Christmas a couples days late. Richie thought it was bullshit. Eddie told him to do it anyway, so here he was, in freezing cold Chicago, while his family (his!! family!!) was at home in sunny Los Angeles, celebrating Christmas Eve without him.

He’d finished the show for the night, and even though some old friends had invited him out for drinks, Richie had declined and headed back to the hotel. He had a Skype date with his little ones before they headed to bed.

He logged on to the call, and was immediately met with the giggling faces of Juliet (7 years old, bright red hair that reminded him constantly of Beverly, and the oldest of his three kids) and Lola (4 years old, dark hair paired with bright blue eyes, and currently obsessed with dinosaurs). Tatum and Eddie were missing.

“HI DADDY!” Lola squealed, waving at the screen emphatically. Richie laughed and waved back.

“Hey Loopy, you’re awfully awake. Don’t you know it’s past your bedtime?”

“Not past my beddy time! Papa said!”

Richie raised an eyebrow at this. “Papa said, huh? Juliet, did Papa say bedtime was moved up for some reason?”

Juliet shrugged, but her grin gave her away. “We’re waiting to see Santa.”

Richie’s heart ached. He wished he could be there more than anything. “Well Santa only comes to visit if you’re fast asleep in bed. So the longer you wait up, the less likely it is you’ll see him. Where’s Papa? I wanna make sure he knows the Santa rules.”

Juliet ran off the screen and Richie took in the background for the first time. Normally they Skype from the living room, which is covered in drawings and photos and anything the girls said they wanted on the wall. The wall behind them was blank, and unfamiliar.

“Loopy, whose room are you in?” Lola burst into a fit of giggles, and turned off the Skype call.

Richie immediately panicked, calling Eddie directly from his phone, not his computer. The phone rang a few times, and Richie had already pulled up tickets for a flight home when Eddie picked up.

“Richie -“

“Where are you and Tatum? Loops and Juliet hung up on me and they’re not in the living room and I didn’t get to see you and is everything okay? Is Tatum hurt? What’s -“

“Richie.”

“Eds, come on just tell me what’s going on holy fuck -“

A knock sounded from his hotel room door.

“I don’t need any room service I’m just fine thanks don’t mind me and my mental breakdown!” He shouted at the door before returning to the phone call.

“Daddy don’t have a mental breakdown!” A small voice sounded from the other side of the door, followed by some shushing and “for fucks sake, Loops, you gave us away”, “Tatum just because Daddy talks like that doesn’t mean you can”, and lastly, “ok, Boomer.”

Richie ran to the door and threw it open as fast as he could. There stood Eddie, Juliet, Tatum, Lola, and even Duchess, all decked out in holiday attire.

“You’re here.”

“Of course we’re here, Rich.” Eddie said, stepping forward and kissing his husband gently. “The girls really missed you.”

Richie looked down at his little munchkins. “Did you really miss this guy?” Tatum (6 years old, with black curly hair and big glasses) was the first to tackle him with a hug. The other two joined and Richie toppled over, causing everyone to burst into laughter. Eddie let Duchess down, and soon enough Richie had three little gremlin-angels trying to tickle him, his precious puppy licking his forehead, and Eddie taking a pictures and videos from the doorway.

Once the girls were all tired out and fast asleep in the king-sized bed, Eddie fell asleep shortly after. They’d traveled all day to get there in time, and travel already made Eddie anxious enough with Richie there - so the sleep was well-deserved. Richie snuck out his phone, and snapped a picture of his husband, his kiddos, and his puppy all sleeping in the same bed.

“I’ve missed this.”

[ryqoshay]

Happy Life: Angelic Doujin

Primary Pairing: YohaRiko Words: ~1.2k Rating: K AU: Angelic? Time Frame: I’m going to say post college for now Story Arc: Stand Alone

Author’s Note: Reading the first chapter of my new fic, Heavenly Life: Cursed Blood is recommended prior to reading this. Yes, that is a shameless shill, but I hope with good reason.

“Riri, this… is really good.” Yoshiko set down the last page.

“You really like it?” Riko asked.

“Like it?” Yoshiko grinned. “I love it! Fighting with daggers and a scythe and dark magic sounds fun. And Riri is right there to heal and help and stuff when things get tough. And Phobetor can talk, and he’s a bratty little familiar, but loyal. And Mari… well Mari is being Mari. Gods, I don’t think I could serve under a captain like that…” A thought occurred to her. “You’re not going to make me do that in a later chapter, are you?”

Riko smiled at her girlfriend’s reaction. “We’ll see.”

“Riri…” Yoshiko whined, earning a laugh. “Anyway,” she regained her composure, but didn’t lose her excitement “I think you nailed us all pretty good here.”

“Thank you, Yocchan.” Riko replied with a smile before reaching to collect her work. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Just a moment.” Yoshiko blocked her. “I want to look at a few things again. Your drawing has really improved.” She shuffled through the pages to find what she sought, chuckling as she passed the images where her in-story self was oblivious to having been run through with a spear. But she had to pause on the depiction of Riko’s character. By the gods did she love that outfit.

“Are you sure you don’t want to post this?” The younger girl asked after a while of admiring the art. “I could guarantee some readers right off the bat if I were to announce this on my stream and put a link in the description. My little demons would love it. You know they would.”

“Hmm…” Riko pulled into herself a bit.

Yoshiko recognized this behavior and immediately stood to make her way around the table. Upon reaching her girlfriend, she leaned down and draped herself over her shoulders and hugged her gently.

“You know I’d never force you to do something you’re not comfortable with, Riri.” The blue-haired girl assured. “I just think your art is amazing and is worth sharing with others. I know how much joy you get from sharing your music, and this manga of yours is just another expression of your artistry.”

“I know.” Riko replied, pushing into the embrace a bit. “It’s just… It’s a bit embarrassing…”

“Embarrassing? Why? Because you used our real names?”

“Yeah…”

Yoshiko pursed her lips. “I was kinda wondering about that, to be honest. I mean, I don’t really mind, and I’m sure my little demons online would love it, but… Why not just change the names? You know, like that old show, <The story you are about to hear is true.>” She dropped her tone to mimic the iconic introduction in English. “<Only the names have been changed to protect the angels.>”

“<Innocent.>” Riko corrected.

“I know.” Yoshiko giggled. “<Only the needle should be changed to protect the record.>”

Riko sighed and shook her head as the other girl stretched the joke farther than was necessary. “I tried changing the names.” She admitted. “Came up with several for each of us, but as soon as I got caught up in the story or the drawing or whatever, I would forget and go back to using our real names. Eventually, I just gave up.”

“Hrm… Well, you could always change it digitally once you scan it in? Maybe I can help with the typesetting?”

“It also just doesn’t feel right.”

“Huh?”

“My dreams have become so vivid as of late, and it is very clearly us. It’s hard to imagine us as anyone else.”

“But we’re angels.”

“Yeah.”

“Doing cool angel stuff like flying and fighting demons and stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“Well again, it doesn’t bother me. And I doubt Mari would mind.” Yoshiko chuckled at a thought. “Heck, I could see her trying to figure out how to use it as advertising for her hotels.”

Riko laughed lightly as well. “That does sound like something she might try.”

“Although… Don’t normal fic and doujin readers often frown on self-insert stories?”

“Normal?”

“Well my little demons are far from normal, and I really don’t think they’d mind.”

“I hadn’t honestly thought about the self-insert thing, but now…”

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you more hesitant to publish…” Yoshiko thought for a moment about where to steer the subject next. “Will you include any of the others?”

“I don’t know.” Riko replied. “I’ve only ever dreamt of you, me and Mari for some reason.”

“Maybe because we spent so much time together as Guilty Kiss?”

“Maybe.”

“Or maybe because you and Mari were the focus pair of that angelic themed photoshoot?”

“I still think they should have chosen you instead of me.”

“Yohane is a fallen angel.” Yoshiko reminded. “My ‘Cursed Blood’ wouldn’t have done well there. Riri on the other hand is a perfect fit for an angel theme.”

“Mmm…”

“Oh c’mon.” Yoshiko rocked side to side a bit, pulling Riko along. “One of these days you’ll have to accept it.”

“I know…” Riko said with a small smile that her girlfriend couldn’t see. “But I suppose I could add the others. I’d just have to figure out how to fit them in, since I don’t remember dreaming about them.”

Yoshiko laughed. “Well now that you’ve said it, you know fate is going to figure out a way to make you remember. I believe certain individuals wouldn’t take too lightly to being forgotten.”

“True.”

“You know, Riri, if you publish this online now, you’ll have enough time to build up a bit of a fanbase before the next Comiket.”

Riko chuckled. “You’re obsessed with that event.”

“Because it’s awesome.” Yoshiko stated definitively. “Anyway, once you get some dedicated readers, you can print some paper copies and sell them at Comiket. I’d even help you get and run your vendor stand.”

“You want me to sell this?”

“I think it would sell just fine.”

“You may be biased.”

“Of course I am, but that’s not the point. You might be able to work out some trades with the other vendors, which means you could get some of your favorite romance stuff at cost.”

Yoshiko grinned as she heard her girlfriend’s sharp intake of breath that indicated she understood what was being suggested.

“A~nd, I’d be willing to make us outfits so we could cosplay as our characters.”

“You want us to cosplay… as ourselves?” Riko asked incredulously.

“Well, fictional angelic versions of ourselves, but yeah.”

“Hmm…”

“Unless of course you wanna swap like that one Halloween.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll post it.”

“You will?” Yoshiko blinked. “Wait, the cosplay thing is what did it for you?”

“Only because I want to see my Yocchan in this outfit.” Riko started to stand up.

“Well you kinda already did.” Yoshiko pointed out as her girlfriend turned toward her. “Didn’t you say it was based on that one photoshoot? I mean don’t get me wrong, it was a good set and I’d be happy to try to recreate it…”

“Or out of it.” Riko closed the distance between them and pulled the younger girl into a hug.

“Huh? Out of… Oh…” Yoshiko managed to get out before Riko leaned down and pressed her lips against hers. “You know,” She pulled away after a moment “I have plenty of other angel outfits that we could wear right n…” She was cut off again by Riko. This time, she got the hint and reciprocated immediately.

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[peakanss]

A Simself TAG

I was tagged by @literalite and someone else that I forgot :(( Thank you!

I tag @enismald, @caacti, @peryllium, @nightvy, @sammmi-xox, @ouikala, @fussysim, @unflirtytrait, @starry-eyed-simss, @sadb0ysims, @faunakii, @vatorey, @cakeiko, @bearcula, @cowplant-pizza​, @scrumptiousfries​, @kaydandthesims​, @dyoreos​   and anyone who wants to do this, just say I tagged you!

Traits: hot-headed, slob, active

aspiration: public enemy i think

1. What is your full name? Valerie something something som

2.What is your nickname? Val

3. Birthday? Feb 24

4. What is your favorite book series? The mortal instuments. THE SHOW SUCKS HAHAGASEHLFZ

5. Do you believe in Aliens or Ghosts? Despite my supernatural obsession, no.

6. Who is your favorite author? I like Leonard S. Marcus and Cassandra Clare

7. What is your favorite radio station? yeet

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Blue raspberry

9. What word would you use to describe something great or wonderful? yes

10. What is your current favorite song? Generation why- Conan Gray or Pussy is God- King Princess

11. What is your favorite word? fuk

12. What is the last song you listened to? Why do I still?- Neiman ft. May Angeles

13. What TV show would you recommend for everyone to watch? HAHAHAH  ok: Supernatural, Shameless U.S (MA), The walking dead (MA), Jane the virgin, Total Drama Island, Teen Wolf, NARCOS (MA), and How to get away from murder.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Deadpool, Spider man Homecoming, or Thor Ragnarok.

15. Do you play video games? Well YES

16. What is your biggest fear? Hetero Keith

17. What is your best quality in  your opinion? my dik. Or my eyelashes ig

18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? My weight and inconsistency

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? omg don’t make me choose T-T

20. What is your favorite season? autumn

21. Are you in a relationship? nop

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? My cat.

23. Who is your best friend? my dog or my demon! Annabel

24. What is your eye color? Dark brown. Don’t let my simself fool u

25. What is your hair color? Brown with auburn ombre

26. Who is someone you love? Dean Winchester

27. Who is someone you trust? my dog. everyone in the background: shut yo lonely ass up

28. Who is someone you think about Often? Austin Porter from PRETTYMUCH

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Supernatural season 14 to come out on netflix.

30. What is your biggest obsession? Boy bands. Specifically PRETTYMUCH not so much for their music but the friendship they have with each other c:

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Total Drama island,  Johnny Test, and A.N.T farm.

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? My friend Monty

33. Are you superstitious? not really

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? hetero keith

35. Do you perfer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Neither tbh

36. What is your favorite hobby? Track and feild.

37. What is the last book you read? Geomerty textbook LOL

38. What is the last movie you watched? Kung Fu Panda >:) jk idr

39. What musical Instruments do you play, if any? I used to play the baritone..

40. What is your favorite animal? duk

41. What are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow? I don’t have top 5′s lol

42. What superpower do you wish you had? INVISIBILITY

43. When and where do you feel most at piece? At home.

44. What makes you smile? my dog on some dumb shit

45. What sports do you play, if any? TRACK & FIELD

46. What is your favorite drink? Arizona green tea

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

Probably my brother’s birthday.

48: Are you afraid of heights? YES DEATHLY

49: What is your biggest pet peeve: Lily singh or lele pons. Hehe but on a real note people who say they do track and cant even keep a good pace while running laps at school LOL.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yeah 5sos and PRETTYMUCH. Can you tell how much i obsess over boybands lol.

51. Are you vagan/ vegetarian? naw

52. When you were little, what did you wanna be when you grew up? I think a chemist lol.

53: What fictional world would you like to live in? The sims bc Yuki Behr is my baby momma and I just wanna love her T-T

54. What is something you worry about? Failing exams or getting kicked off the track team.

55. Are you scared of the dark? In my room when I’m walking in the dark cuz I don’t wanna step on my dog or a thumb tac or something lol

56. Do you like to sing? hell ye

57. Have you ever skipped school? Yes in 6th grade.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? At home or anywhere with my best friend.

59. Where would you like to live? Canada or Michigan.

60. Do you have any pets? 3 DOGS omg

61: Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? morning bird.

62: Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunset.

63. Do you know how to drive? yes

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds.

65. Have you ever had braces? ew yes

66: What is your favorite genre of music? r&b, soul, and ‘rock’

67: Who is your hero? Tom Hiddleston aka loki aka best man alive.

68: Do you read comic books? hell yeah.

69: What makes you most angry? prank channels

70. Do you prefer reading a book on an electronic device or on a real book? Real book unless it’s webtoon sksksksk

71. What is your favorite subject in school? lunch. haha I’m so funny

72. Do you have any siblings? An older and younger brother and a stepsister.

73. What was the last thing you bought? Either one of those giant arizona tea cans or v bucks for my little brother agsfkfasv

74. How tall are you? 5′3

75. Can you cook? I can bake. can’t cook.

76. What are three things that you love? Austin porter, my dog, my fam and friends.  that’s 4 but OK

77. What are three things you hate? Push-up bras [those shits are uncomfortable], hetero keith, and hetero keith.

78. Do you have more male or female friends? I don’t have any friends. I’m jp female.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Idk pffff I think bi-curious. Is that a thing orr

80. Where do you currently live? Floridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

81. Who was the last person you texted? My friend lehla.

82. When was the last time you cried? when charlie di*** in spn which was a while ago

83. Who is your favorite youtuber? Gay helmet- I mean Gabe helmy

84. Do you like to take selfies? Depends if I’m feeling myself or not but usually no.

85. What is your favorite app? Huji cam, netflix, discord etc.

86. What is your relationship to your parent(s)? I don’t like either of them but I would die for them . My mom let’s me go out more often so <3

87. What is your favorite foreign accent: OMG I LOVE THEM ALL but if I had to choose, Portuguese.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Windenburg :p

89. What is your favorite number? 69

90. Can you juggle? kind of???

91. Are you religious? I mean I believe in jesus but that’s about it lol

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? OUTER SPACE

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? nope I’m a wuss

94. Are you allergic to anything? furries and their weird costume fetish shit.

95. Can you curl your tounge? yeah

96. Can you wiggle your ears? no

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? neverr

98. Do you perfer the forest or the beach? beach.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice anyone has given you? I’m already tracer.

100. Are you a good liar? yes

101. What is your Hogwarts house? Gryffindor

102. Do you talk to yourself? no lol

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert :D

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no

105. Do you believe in second chances? depends

106: If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? Keep it. duh

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? obviously

108. Are you ticklish? yes

109. Have you ever been on a plane? yep

110. Do you have any piercings? 3 on each ear

111. What fictional character do you wish were real? UGH LOKI OR THE WINCHESTERS

112. Do you have any tattoos? I have a stick n’ poke on my chest.

113. What is the best decision you’ve made in your life? Adopted the little scared white dog at the adoption center :>

114. Do you believe in karma? no

115. Do you waer glasses or contacts? glasses

116. Do you want children? I don’t know yet man.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? This robot in my class. Let’s call him bob.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Getting my assed whooped in a cruise in front of thousands of people.

119. Have you ever pulled an all nighter? Doing one rn sis.

120. What color are most of your clothes? idk I have an explosive wardrope but mostly grey or yellow.

121. Do you like adventure? I guess

122. Have you ever been on TV? Yep I was the spokesman for my track team and I answered like 2 questions while I was sweaty and gross. I’ll try to find the link lol

123. How old are you? Rather not say but I am 14-18 range.

124. What is your favorite quote? don’t know sis.

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory.