#you can take out any of the expansions you already have

[written-and-readen]

Let Me Hear You

Jiaoqiu x fem!reader

Summary: You have to find a new way to relay your pleasure to him.

Warnings: nsfw (18+), fingering, penetrative sex, cumming inside, post-Wardance (2.5 spoilers kind of)

a/n: It's been a while since I've written for my husband

You’re not sure how much more of this you can take. Jiaoqiu’s loss of sight had made many things in your shared life different. It wasn’t until now that intimacy was one of things you had to figure out anew.

So, here you are completely bare and seated on Jiaoqiu’s lap. Like you, he’s shed all his clothes. His hardened shaft presses into your folds, which would previously have you begging him to put it in already, but you haven’t gotten there quite yet.

Jiaoqiu’s hands are currently roaming the expanse of your body. His touch isn’t as precise as before when he honed in on all your most sensitive spots immediately. Instead, his brows furrow slightly like he’s trying to map it all out in his mind, sloppily trying to reach every inch of you.

You stay patient while he runs his hands up your arms before coming down on your chest. A heat rises to your face as he shamelessly gropes your breasts, cupping them, palming them. It’s only when he pinches your nipple that he elicits a yelp from your mouth. His ear twitches at the noise. You figure he has to be playing with you when he quickly does the same to the other, trying to get the same reaction. Disappointment crosses his face when he doesn’t.

You bite your lip as he continues playing with your perky nipples. He rolls them between his thumb and finger, flicks them, and even takes one into his mouth momentarily. Only once he’s satisfied do his hands slide down your torso. He traces around your waist and hips before settling on your thighs.

Then, the Foxian leans in to begin nipping at your neck. Again, you’re trying desperately to be quiet as his teeth graze soft skin. A surprise push on your thighs accompanied by him reaching a particularly tender spot has you letting out a long moan, your clit dragging against his cock as he grinds you against him. His ear twitches again, flicking against your cheek.

“You know, I would like to hear you more, dear,” Jiaoqiu says.

“What do you mean?” You’d never been particularly vocal in bed, finding the obscene noises embarrassing. Jiaoqiu pushes you against his cock again, making you release another whine.

“How am I supposed to know if I’m doing a good job now that I can’t see?” You figure that’s true, but your face also flushes at the thought of him getting off to your moans. A hand on your cheek brings you back to reality. “You can just talk to me, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod. He goes back to sucking marks around your neck, noticing how you shudder against him.

“How does that feel?”

“G-good.” A slight moan catches at the end of your answer as he takes the opportunity of your mouth being open to move a hand to your clit. You feel his fingers run across your folds, no doubt noticing the juices that are a result of his actions and swiping them up.

“So wet,” He notes, “Care to tell me why that is?” A smile tugs at the edge of his lips. Of course he’s teasing you.

“You’ve been toying with me for the past hour. What else did you expect?” You mumble, but any answer is enough to please him.

“Well, I would hate for all this to go to waste,” He hums before pushing two fingers into your pussy. Your head falls on his shoulder while he scissors them, stretching your walls. “Tell me how that feels, dear.”

“Feels good—Jiaoqiu!” You keen as he hits just the right spot.

“Ah, how I missed you saying my name like that.” You don’t need to look to know how he’s smirking. You feel him speed up, and you shake when you feel your climax approaching.

“Close…I’m close,” You breathe out. At your warning, Jiaoqiu’s thumb presses into your clit, automatically pushing you into orgasm with a long moan. He continues working his fingers in and out as drops of your cum fall onto his cock.

“Good?” He asks with a tilt of his head.

“More than good.” You lean in to give him a quick kiss which he obliges.

“Ready for the next part?” Your eyes travel down to his dick, its tip prodding the entrance of your folds.

“Yeah, I think so.” The push into your pussy makes you think you spoke too soon.

“Such a tight little thing.” It’s Jiaoqiu’s turn to groan as he buries his length inside you. Your walls clench at his words, drawing another noise out of him. You start rocking your hips until Jiaoqiu’s hands begin to guide them up and down.

“How does that feel? Do you enjoy having me fill you up?” You can feel your mind go fuzzy as his cock repeatedly hit deep inside you every time you come back down onto it. Your inhibitions slowly start to fall as whines spill from your lips.

“Y-you’re so deep, Jiao. Keep going, please keep going.” He hums happily, tail swaying on the sheets behind him.

“Care to elaborate?” A touch to your clit has a symphony of moans reaching his twitching ears. He's teasing you. You know he's teasing you, but you don't care. If he wants to know, you'll tell him.

“I love the way your cock hits all the right places. Love how full I feel. I love you, Jiaoqiu. I love you so much.” Your voice slurs amidst the pleasure clouding your thoughts. His hand reaches to cup your face so he can pull you into a kiss, swallowing all your sounds. Your lips move clumsily against each other as he works your clit. Your hands hastily thread through pink hair, tightening at the same time your pussy does when you cum. Jiaoqiu can only follow suit at seeing you come undone around him. A gasp leaves you at the sensation of warm cum against your walls.

Jiaoqiu falls back onto the bed, taking you with him as you both catch your breath. You melt into his chest, twirling some strands of his hair around your finger mindlessly. Arms wrap around your middle, keeping you close.

“You did such a good job,” He murmurs to you, “I love hearing your voice, so grace my ears a little more often.”

[glitchytrait]

just thought i'd leave this here

thanks to this wonderful video, i learned how to get access to all of the sims 4 expansions totally legally. if you don't wanna go through all those steps, you might just be able to get them, too, if you follow this link...

instructions can be found in the video or in the tags. i will make my own video for my process in the future. when i do, i'll edit this post and link it here.

[the-physicality]

"tomorrow we find out where paige is going" .... .tomorrow we find out which team has a 99% chance of drafting paige

[shaisuki]

Hi may I request yuji/sukuna taking “turns” with their chubby darling, just them non stop love making showing how much they absolutely adore her & filling her to the brim 🩷

sukuna was willing to put his pride back. tagging along with his host for the sake of having the taste of your fat pussy in his mouth and it was such a little low for him that he's using his host's cock just to fill her sweet pussy. such a shame you weren't being fucked by his two cocks in his original form. you would absolutely take it. your pussy was made for his cock.

but now — he's using it. having to coaxed that brat of a host of his to consider the offer that he had given to him. the three rules and one of them was to let him ravage you using itadori's body.

the brat wasn't the easiest and took him more of a little convincing. he wants to bark a laugh. there's no convincing in his past. sukuna doesn't do persuasion.

“you take this cock so well. you would do better on my cocks.” sukuna muses. pinning the back of your wrist while he fucks you from behind. the swell of your ass hitting his pelvis or rather itadori's.

your face buried in the pillows while you cry out his name in pleasure. the stretch of itadori's fat cock inside you fills you up so deliciously and being pounded by sukuna was the cherry on top.

sukuna chuckles behind as he leaned in. his hot breath tickling the skin in your back where layers of skin are like dough being repeatedly kneaded by the thrust of his hips. the constant slap of skin to skin filling the room.

“you could have been my favorite concubine if you existed in my time.” he muses. changing the he rhythm of his thrust, turning into one brutal slam of his hips. “i'll have you filled with my cum every night. stuffed with my cocks full that you'll feel me for days inside you.” letting out a groan when he feels you squeezing around him. “you like that? it's a privilege being filled with my seed and you're the perfect one.” smirking at your skin when he hears you gasp.

sukuna takes a lick. his tongue (itadori's) drags at the soft expanse of your skin — covered with a thin sheen of sweat from the coupling before sinking his teeth into the skin. the sensation making you tighten around him and with a sudden harsh slam of his hips. he buried his dick to the hilt. the tip of his cock nudging at the entrance of your womb before spurting thick ropes of his cum. painting your walls white and filling you to the brim.

you cried out as it triggered your orgasm and the stinging of the skin breaking from his teeth. droplets of blood surfacing and sukuna licked the crimson liquid. groaning at the taste of your blood. it had been so long since he got a taste of the human flesh. your blood will work for now.

sukuna grins at the sight of your plush body riddled with his bite marks. some of your blood seeped through the cracks of your skin where he had bitten. proud of what he had done and if you're pussy weren't any good, he already had devoured you.

annoyance settled before him as he feels the owner of the body he currently lives switched with him. he can cooperate for now. he will be back later though.

itadori got a hold back of his body. he bites back a moan. his cock that was previously used by sukuna is still nestled inside you. the remnants of his cum trickled at the sheets beneath him. mixed with your own arousal.

he slowly pulls his cock out. gently turning you around. laying in his bed with your face fucked out having achieved multiple orgasms from being fucked earlier, both itadori and the curse living inside him, sukuna had repeatedly filled you to the brim.

“yuuji....” you weakly moaned out and itadori leans down. burying his face in the crook of your neck. his cock still hard pressing in the skin of your thigh littered with bites. “you can still take more...” lifting you up easily like you weigh nothing in his lap. “of course, she still can.” come sukuna interrupts. his mouth forming in yuuji's cheek. itadori ignores it.

you weakly gripped yuuji's shoulder as he lifts you up before slowly sinking your awaiting heat to his cock. “yuuji!” you throw your head back. the sensitivity of your abused cunt adding tremors of pleasure-pain down in your core.

“i got you, okay...” the pink-haired sorcerer coos at you. settling in for a easy rhythm as he thrusts upwards. groaning as your fat pussy wraps around his cock. hugging him like a glove.

“f-feels so good!” you cried out. tangling your fingers in his head while you lean down to kiss him and yuuji accepted it with open mouth. his lips sucking your tongue as he builds up the pace of fucking you.

he grabs a boob in his hand squeezing it while the other holds your ass and sukuna's mouth appeared on his palm where his hand is. biting your nipple before sucking them. you clenched harder around him. moaning in the kiss as you moved your hips downward meeting his thrust.

itadori couldn't stop. you just feels so good. he can't bring himself to stop despite having released his load to you before sukuna took over. you were made for him and for you to take his cock repeatedly is enough for him to bust his load again. over and over to your awaiting cunt. the squelch of his cum that he previously filled you with mingled with your arousal adds to his heightened senses and it didn't take long for him to fill you up again.

his hips stuttering before completely grinding your hips on his to fill you with his load. you had already cummed and the sensation of being filled again send you the edge again. you softly pant. regaining your breath while you slowly roll your hips to prolong your orgasm and his.

you press a chaste kiss to itadori's face and you bite back a moan. sukuna's tattoos are already appearing and it was far from done. it looks like these two had already came to understand for one thing, is that to fill you up with their cum.

you weren't complaining to and sukuna's smirk and tattoos disappearing to show yuuji was the last thing you see before you drifted to sleep. filled to the brim with their cum.

[catboyieejeno]

mingyu + foreplay

18+ minors do not interact!

• kim mingyu, who leaves so many kisses all over your body that you can't get the feeling of his lips off your mind for days after.

“god, i could kiss you forever.”

• open mouthed kisses along your neck and the expanse of your chest first thing in the morning, panting and groaning into your skin and muttering a string of pleas and praises with his little lisp, that’s even more obvious when he’s just woken up

“please let me feel you, need to feel you so bad right now,”

• or at night, dragging you onto his lap fresh out of your shower to wrap a hand around your jaw/throat and kiss your lips slowly and sensually. would drag his palms along your spine to pull you closer, all the way up until his fingers disappear into your hair, the smell of your body wash and shampoo driving him up the wall and making his dick swell up in his sweats

“y’smell so good. fuck, i just wanna taste you,”

• the feeling of his hot tongue dragging across your stomach and thighs is so dizzying that it immediately makes your vision lose focus. he's obsessed with being the reason for that look on your face, eyes hazy and glossed over, drooling lips wordlessly begging him for more.

“mmm, look at you. my pretty baby is fucked out already?”

• makes out with your pussy over the layer of your pretty cotton panties until you're soaked-through and whimpering. absolutely loves when your squirm or try to wiggle away. loves to subtly dance along the line of edging and overstimulation.

“don’t run baby, let me make you feel good. you can take it right?”

• doesn’t abuse his strength, but will use it to his advantage when it comes to sex. keeps your pretty legs pinned open, or your hips rolling against his nose and tongue while you’re sitting on his face, even when you’re so exhausted from coming that you can barely hold yourself up

“I got you, honey. stay just like this f’me.”

• if any if the members are there, he’d cover your mouth with his hand to muffle your whimpers and cries as he rubs your clit with his fingers relentlessly. mind you—a few things can be true at once: yes, he loves the noises you make and would do absolutely anything to hear them as loudly and clearly as possible. yes, he doesn’t actually care if the members hear, nor does he care about the teasing he’ll have to endure later (besides, he knows they can probably hear you either way, despite his best efforts to keep quiet). while those facts are both very true—god, does he love how shy and nervous you get at the thought of being overheard by them, eyes blown wide and brows furrowed as you struggle to keep still and quiet all at once.

“Gotta be good and stay quiet, baby. you can do that, right?”

• loves to tease you before actually putting it in: taps his head against your puffy clit, presses himself to your entrance only slightly, chuckles breathlessly when his tip is so fat that it slips and ends up just laying heavy and hot on your pelvis or poking your thigh instead. slides his dick between your lips until you’ve soaked every inch of him and you’re shaking with need from the stimulation to your clit and the desire to just be filled up.

“be patient, yeah? let me enjoy this pretty pussy.”

• so easily distracted by you… if you were helping him with dinner he’d turn off the stove at the sight of you in your little shorts or lack-thereof, if you’re wearing just his shirt. immediately bends you over the counter and eats you out from the back, face buried in your pussy and hands sliding your shirt up or pinning your wrists together on your back

“forget the food baby, it can wait when you’re wearing those little shorts…”

• pictures. of your tits covered in his spit, of the marks he left on your ribs or thighs, of your spent pussy covered in his cum, of your hands wrapped around his cock, of his hand print on your ass—keeps them in a hidden photo album and jerks off to them all the time when he’s away. sends you videos of him touching himself, audio on.

“m’thinking about you. and looking at our pictures. goddamn… wish i could fuck you right now. i miss you so bad.”

[rafey-baby]

c/w: bf!rafe being very persuasive, heavily suggestive, fluff

18+ mdni!

wc: 710

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Don’t know what I’d do without you,” Rafe mumbles next to her ear with his head tucked into the crook of her neck, soothing breaths and pillowy lips tickling the sensitive skin there.

He's lying on top of her on their bed, his body pressing her into the soft mattress like a weighted blanket; warm and heavy, making her feel so safe while his fingers mindlessly play with her hair, tangling into the strands and twirling one around his index finger.  

“I love you,” he hums contently before he’s pasting sloppy kisses all over her face, forcing her to let out a squeaky giggle along with a breathy ‘I love you’ when he begins to trail lower, smearing his mouth on the expanse of her neck; the flat of his tongue laving over her throat.   

“Rafe…” she whimpers when she can feel him poking against her lower belly.  

“Missed you,” he groans when her nails scratch over his buzzed head as he gives a lazy rut of his hips against her.  

“Missed you more,” she murmurs back.  

“I don’t think that’s true,” he scrunches his nose, feigning offense.  

“Yes, it is!” She huffs playfully, fingers slipping under his shirt, the thermal skin of his abdomen greeting her.  

“Yeah? How much?” He lifts his head up slightly, blue moonstones locking with her eyes in a challenge.  

“This much,” she gives him a giddy smile, hands leaving their home from resting on his stomach and drawing apart as far as they go.  

“Uh huh? Well, I missed you this much,” he momentarily gets up to sit back and widen his own arms; much bigger than hers, therefore making the distance between them far longer as well.  

“That’s not fair!” Her brows crease.  

“No? Neither is you leaving me for the whole day,” he grumbles, slumping down on top of her smaller frame once more.  

“I can’t just drop out of uni for you, can I? And you have your business as well,” she tries to reason, but her arguments seem to fall on deaf ears. 

“I know, Baby. What if you stay home tomorrow, hm? I could take the day off and we could just stay home all day, yeah?” The way he’s beginning to mouth at her left nipple through the flimsy material of her (his) worn out t-shirt is making it entirely too difficult for her to deny him of anything at the moment.  

“Rafe…I have an important lecture tomorrow,” she lets out a sigh that turns into a whine when his big palm squeezes at her other tit, thumb idly rubbing against the puffy bud.   

“I don’t care, you’re already so smart, don’t even need to go,” his heady tone is muffled by the shirt-covered nipple between his lips, teeth teasingly nipping at it.  

“Rafe, you’re not making any sense,” she lets out a giggle, followed by a moan when she can now feel his cock nudging against her clit through the layers of fabric and all of a sudden, his jumbled words have turned crystal clear.   

“Need you to just say yes, Baby,” he rasps out, coaxing her to give in with another lazy thrust of his hips.  

And that’s all it takes for her resolve to crumble.  

“Okay,” she's nodding, not missing the way a smug grin hangs on his face in victory.  

It’s just one day, right? Unless he decides to keep her from leaving the house for 'just a few more days', (as he’s done in the past); coming up with excuses as to why she can’t go to class and then before she realizes it, she’s stayed home for the rest of the week.  

However, she doesn’t mind all that much. After all, she prefers to spend time with the love of her life over anything else. In some twisted way, she gets all dizzy inside whenever Rafe turns into something so clingy to this extent.

The following morning, she wakes up with his cum leaking out of her; making her sore inner thighs sticky when she shifts into a different position. And when she turns her head to the side she's met with his serene form, deep asleep; one hand holding onto her left tit possessively and his steady breaths fanning the back of her neck.

Her foggy mind thinks she must still be dreaming.

[ddejavvu]

hotch loosening his tie and undoing a few buttons to eat you out on his desk at the office, having to take his tie completely off and push it into your mouth to keep you quiet 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"Jesus Christ." Is your lover's careful assessment of the mess between your thighs, glistening as it clings to your skin and covers an expanse that reaches far beyond the lacy hem of your now-ruined panties.

He inspects you for a moment, runs a thick thumb through the slick steadily streaming from your weepy cunt, and smears it lower over your thigh instead of licking his finger clean.

"I need to take off my tie," He muses, fingers flying to the windsor knot to loosen it, "You're already such a mess that it would be stained the second I started."

"Can I have it?" You whine, craning your neck to stare down at him where he's kneeling between your legs. The chilled oak of his desk bites against your bare skin, but you're slowly warming it with the fever of desire you find yourself in. You reach for the tie, pleading, and Aaron sets it in your trembling fingers.

"Oh god, it- it smells like your cologne," You realize, breath shaky as you smother the silken fabric against your face, breathing in the scent of Aaron where it clings so potently to the fabric, "Hurry, Aaron, please-?"

Your hips writhe slightly as you squirm atop his desk, but his hand never comes to hold your waist in place.

"I have to unbutton my shirt, too." He murmurs, and you hear the rustling of fabric that lets you know he's already two buttons in, "Are you trying to stain all of my clothes, honey?"

You whimper softly against the fabric of his tie, and finally- finally one of his rough hands glides up your leg, starting at the ankle and ending near your throbbing core.

"You are? You want me to walk back out there with a dirty tie? That's bold." He assesses, "Our coworkers are profilers. It would take them, oh-" He smears his thumb close- this close to your slickened mess of a cunt, and your thighs shudder like a sob, "Ten seconds to figure out I'd just been on my knees between your legs. Is that what you're going for? You want everyone to know you're spread-eagle over my desk?"

"Aaron," You plead, desperate and pathetic, "Please?" You crane your neck down to watch him once more, and he's the picture of sin, thighs strained against his slacks, cock pressing even tighter against their fabric. There's three buttons undone on his shirt which reveal a mass of dark, wiry hair and which prevent the collar from being soaked in your pre-release. There's contentment and something dark, something sadistic and sinister in his eyes as he kneels before you, unquestionably dominant despite the position he's in.

"You're good at begging." He observes, his voice calm and collected, "And at making a mess. I'd tease you more, but if you get any wetter, I'd have to strip completely to avoid getting dirty. And we don't have much time before the team realizes that there's two agents missing and only one locked door. So lift up your hips, honey- there we go," He pats at your thigh and slips his hands beneath your hips when you lift them, elevating your core before he buries his face in it, "And try not to make too much noise- bite down on that tie whenever you have to scream."

[jasmineoolongtea]

― i like the way you kiss me . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .

― the ways in which they kiss you when you aren't actually together yet ₊˚⊹♡

contents: gojo x gn!reader, geto x gn!reader, nanami x gn! reader, choso x gn!reader, megumi x gn!reader, yuji x gn!reader, yuta x gn!reader, headcanons/brief drabbles, slightly suggestive for some of them if you squint a/n: just some headcanons i wanted to write after listening to i like the way you kiss me by artemas plus i needed a short writing break from my risk - megumi fic that i've been working on. hope you guys enjoy this !!!

gojo satoru kisses you like he misses you already despite barely being apart for more than a few hours. it didn't matter to him that he just saw you moments ago. that was nothing more than a trivial fact to him, just like the fact that you two still weren't actually together yet, in the grand scheme of things. why should he be waiting any second longer to feel your touch on him? he was never good at being patient anyways.

"missing me already huh?" you murmur against his lips, his hands securing you against him as he pinned you against the brick wall of the restaurant behind you two.

he scoffs at your comment. "oh shut up." his lips are on yours again in a matter of second. you weren't going to lie, you were enjoying this. to see someone so powerful like gojo satoru yet so susceptible to your presence to the point where he couldn't wait anymore to have your lips against his. with his flushed cheeks and slightly puffy lips, you want to forever immortalise this image of him in your mind. silently, you thanked whatever was out there that he decided to forgo his sunglasses tonight as their absence allowed you to truly appreciate the beauty of his eyes, even being able to notice the tiniest specks of what appeared to be gold in his pupils.

as he tilts his head to the side to better fit his features against yours, you swear you can feel his every breath with how flushed his chest is against yours. you even earn a soft groan from him when your fingers dance across his undercut, taking your time to run your hands through his snowy locks.

you're glad that his eyes are closed right now, getting a ticklish sensation as his long eyelashes kiss the expanses of your cheeks with the slight flutter of his eyes so that he isn't able to notice how the red blush that was once contained on your face has now expanded outwards to the tip of your eyes. he bites at your bottom lip gently, as if asking for permission to go further and you grant his request with a faint gasp of your own.

"noisy, aren't we?"

"oh shut up."

geto suguru kisses you like you're his already. the way he snakes his arms around your waist and presses his lips against yours only makes you sink further into his touch. if he wasn't holding you up right now, you would probably melt into the floor just from his proximity alone. you've been dancing around the issue for a few months now, fleeting touches in a dark room, longing glances across the room. it was all fun and games for both of you, seeing how long you could drag out this game of teasing and temptation until the other had enough. you thought you were doing pretty well. that is, until he decided to show up here again and well, just imagine the feeling of his lips against yours wasn't enough anymore.

you've always wondered what it would feel like to card your hands through his raven tresses and now, with your fingers tangled in up there, you can safely say it was better than you could have ever imagined. if it wasn't you who was the one messing up his hair, he would have some choice words to say about it, but as of right now, that was the least of his concerns. right now, his priority was seeing how long it would take for him to become consumed by his desire for you and it seemed like he wasn't going to last long. not with how you would let out a low whine every time his teeth grazed your lips or with your wandering hands taking this opportunity to explore the expanses of his well-sculpted back.

you feel like you've just had your breath stolen from you with how heavily you were panting against him, your faces flushed with want and kiss-swollen lips as evidence of what had recently transpired between the two of you. neither of you make the move to break apart as he leans down to ask.

"so what does this make us?"

nanami kento kisses you with so much restraint it only incites you to try and break down his defences further. his kisses barely feel like pecks, leaving you to subconsciously chase him for more every time he pulls away. he doesn't dare to try and do more, to push the boundary further. not only are you not technically together yet but also he's afraid. not of you, but rather of what would happen if he let his resolve fall and indulged in his selfish desires for what would be the first time in a long while.

he stops for a moment, his face barely hovering centimetres above from yours as his eyes flicker between your slightly agape mouth and your half-lidded eyes, watching him closely as you try to anticipate his next. he couldn't tell which one was drawing him in more at that moment. his breath hitches momentarily when he feels a soft tug at his tie, your right hand absent-mindedly toying with the edges of it as you place your other hand against his chest as if attempting to brace yourself against him. he couldn't tell but your legs felt like they were about to give out at any second with how every single cell in your body felt electrified with the amount of desire and anxiety coursing through your veins.

silence dragged on for what felt like ages, both of you unmoving in your positions until you muttered under your breath. "kento..." your voice was barely above a whisper but at that moment, it turns out that he was not as strong in his resolve as he thought he was with that being all he needed to dive right into you, fully untethered this time as his lips crashed against yours.

kamo choso kisses you like he's scared that this will be the first and last time he'll ever get to do so. there's so much fear and hesitation in his movements yet at the same time, you can feel the fervour and passion that is pouring out of him with every movement of his lips against you. his hands are hovering around your figure, scared to fully let himself hold you as if he's worried that the moment he makes contact, you're going to snap out of whatever daze you're in and run away from him. you aren't going to do that of course, if only he knew how long you were waiting for this to happen. as you feel the cold of the concrete wall against your back, the two of you part, albeit reluctantly, from each other to catch your breaths.

"..are you sure?" he asks breathlessly. his pupils are blown wide open as his eyes seemingly turn into infinite purple voids, watching your every movement unblinking.

you run your fingers across the back of his neck, toying slightly with some of the loose black strands that were clinging to his skin. he looks pretty like this, you think to yourself. he looks at you so eagerly, so soft and pliable in your hands, as he nervously awaits for your response.

"never been more sure."

fushiguro megumi kisses you like you're the air he breathes. who would have thought someone so famously reserved like megumi had it in him like this? you aren't given long to ponder on that thought as his lips are against yours once again, moving in sync with an imaginary rhythm as you frenziedly grasp at the material of his shirt in a weak attempt to try and ground you against his closeness to you. with every slide of his lips past yours, you're pretty sure that he's simultaneously taking and giving you back your breath which you previously thought would be impossible to do but are now sorely proven wrong.

you're not even a lightweight or anything when it comes to alcohol but you're pretty sure you're drunk on the feeling of him the moment his mouth was on yours. much to your surprise, the spikes that he calls his hair are actually pretty soft as you run your hands through them, a soft tug at the hair beneath your fingers drawing out a barely disguised groan from him. you giggle softly against his lips at his reaction and he silences you with another kiss, not that you were complaining as you ardently respond by tilting your head off to the side slightly to grant him better access to your face. your eyes are closed but you can imagine the half-hearted scowl on his face with how his brows furrow in the way that they always do against your forehead.

even though it was barely minutes ago, your mind is hazy as you try to remember the circumstances that led to this situation right now. it was probably a stupid argument that you guys got into, like the two of you usually do, and somehow that resulted in him wanting to prove his point more unconventionally. you give up on trying to recall the details as you can feel your face start to burn up as one of his hands start to wander down to rest against your hips.

"so," he pants, the heat of his breath is warm against your lips. "does that prove my point?"

itadori yuji kisses you eagerly, trying to savour every single moment of his lips against yours. you could feel the excitement basically pouring out from him with each movement of his lips against you, even eliciting a giggle from him that reverberates against your mouth as your noses bump against each other. it's a messy, disorganised sort of kiss with you being sure this is the third time you've accidentally grazed your teeth against his. fortunately for both of you, you're all way too engrossed and intoxicated on the sensation of the other's lips to care.

every time one of you tries to catch your breath, the other tries to chase your lips as they attempt to recapture that feeling again. as your arms encircle his neck, pulling you close to him, you're pretty sure you can feel him groan quietly against your lips with his hands reaching up to cup your face. with a deep sigh, you sink into his warm embrace, taking the moment to fully breathe him in like your life depended on it.

one of his hands falls from your face and gives a tentative squeeze at your waist to which you gasp quietly. taking this opportunity, he breaks apart from your lips and presses a flurry of kisses across your face which earns him a wide grin from you as you half-heartedly attempt to defend yourself from his sudden kiss attacks.

if you knew that a simple, experimental peck on the cheek could earn you this, maybe you should try to do this more.

okkotsu yuuta kisses you like you're a dream come true. hear him out. he never thought that he would get to experience touch like this ever again in his life, nevermind it coming from you in this manner. to him, you were what sweet dreams were made of, so ethereal, so delicate and so much better than whatever could exist in such a cruel world like this. but once again, defying all his expectations, you were here right in front of him and your lips were on his, faster than in the blink of an eye.

cradling the back of your head with his hands, he leans into the feeling of your lips against his as the two of you move in sync with each other. as if the moment couldn't get better, it was as if your lips were perfectly moulded for his or vice versa. he didn't care which way it was, all this fact did was solidify the thought in his mind that you were sent down onto earth from whatever heavenly plane people like you come from just for him to bask in the presence of.

his eyes are closed for two reasons. one, because he's scared that if he opens his eyes, this will be nothing more than a dream that he has to wake up from and two because he's pretty sure that if he was able to see you in your flushed, kiss dazed glory, he would explode on the spot.

despite being able to tell how badly he's been wanting to kiss you, he doesn't let it overpower him, instead taking the upmost care to make sure that you were still unharmed, treating you as if you were some piece of delicate china that could break at the slightest of wrong moves. while it was nice, you were feeling particularly greedy in that moment. you wanted more.

right as he breaks apart for air, you're already back to pulling him closer than humanly possible at this point by the collar of his shirt and you find that you're rewarded with a soft gasp escaping from him as your lips find each other again, this time with a renewed sense of desire and want.

[jayktoralldaylong]

One of my favourite things about Arcane is that all the couples can be read as toxic, which is GREAT.

I'm tired of people bringing morality debates into dark media. Let dark media be fucking dark. You guys wouldn't survive a day in the TMA fandom, needing everyone to be as good as gold. How are they going to make for enjoyable complex characters if they're not morally grey. In fact, I wish there'd been more expansion on just how morally black they can become!

"CaitVi is so toxic" According to lesbian statistics, that sounds just about accurate. 💀 Heck, I wish Caitlyn had done more (Not really, but it would have been nice to further explore the darkness in her heart). Isn't it adorable how she immediately folded as soon as Vi called her cupcake? Caitlyn's like one of those villains that will consistently do the most....until it comes to someone else hurting her girlfriend. The only one allowed to hurt her girlfriend is her. 💀

Then let's talk about Vi. Someone pointed out how Vi never cared about Zaun's independence in the first place and many people yelled that they were wrong. But actually, they were right. Vi never wanted Zaun. Zaun was Silco's dream, and Jinx inherited that dream cause Silco would never shut up about it. Vi wanted Piltover to take responsibility for all the shit they allowed to happen in the Undercity. That's a part of the reason she joined up with Caitlyn in the first place. Let's not forget she wasn't dissuaded when she dragged Jayce down to fight with her and he killed a child. Children been dying, it's been her whole life. Someone needed to do something about it, and Zaun would have just isolated the people from all the privileges that Piltover SHOULD have been providing for them. Some people just can't accept that Independence cannot in fact solve every problem, and sometimes independence is colonisers running away from the responsibility of fixing the mess that they started in the first place.

Besides, we all know Vi joined up with the Enforcers because "I feel like I am worthless if I can't be of service." She'd already run out of family members to serve, Caitlyn was the next best thing. She's just like Jayce.

And speaking of Jayce, let's talk about his violent levels of codependency with anyone who'll give him attention. People LOOOOVE to talk about Mel, but it's there with Viktor too. When bro wasn't basing his worth on his inventions, he was centering it around Viktor.

Viktor who decided at some point in his life that he would not LIVE without Jayce. He was fine dying without him, but living without him was unacceptable. Oh how healthy. 🙄😂 Viktor be the kind of toxic ex to threaten divorce 500 times over, then burn the world when you actually leave him. Jayce is no better cause he's the kind of guy to keep going back to his toxic Ex.

Yes, Mel is manipulative. That's what I love about her. How are you guys failing to give this woman the praise of being an outsider in Piltover, but running their entire council. 💀 Girl raises her hand once and the whole government starts spinning. She was the best sugar mummy Jayce and Viktor could ever ask for. She kept the whole city running. Literally the entire of Piltover dancing on her palm. And yes she manipulated Jayce but let's not forget she thought that was a love language. 💀 You wanna be mad at someone, be mad at Ambessa for raising her that way.

I also don't think it's fair to blame her for the Undercity situation, she's not native. Monkey see, monkey do, and not a single one of those Council members actually cared about the situation down there, it was deplorable. 💀 Jayce did way more in his two weeks as Councillor than any of those drug pushing, money laundering, Piltovian heads of government.

And that just covers MelJayVik, we don't even need to get fully into TimeBomb, cause we know what's wrong there. 💀 Surely we have not forgotten the many teammates Jinx has killed, but making sure to never kill Ekko cause that's her man. Ekko has a lot to unpack, like how his consistent and unwavering love for Jinx is an indication of a lot of doors he might not be ready to open. I know they dynamics go crazy and I love to see it.

Ambessa and Sevika are a crack ship but I'm sure we all know bedroom dynamics go crazy with Mrs. Warlord and Miss Liberation. I love it when characters clash in a toxic heap. It's insane and should be explored.

Quit saintifying my toxic ships with your woke morality debates. If you want everyone to be sunshine and rainbows then you should be watching literally anything else. 💀 "It's not healthy." GOOD, I like it that way. 💀 Angst, spice and trauma are the recipe for a plethora of explorative fanfiction. Any of their dynamics can be taken in any toxic direction and I want that EXPLORED.

[sprintingowl]

Deadball

Deadball Second Edition is a platinum bestseller on DrivethruRPG. This means it's in the top 2% of all products on the site. Its back cover has an endorsement from Sports Illustrated Kids.

It's also not an rpg I'd heard about until I discovered all of these facts one after another.

I was raised in a profoundly anti-sports household. My father would say stuff like "sports is for people who can't think" and "there's no point in exercising, everything in your body goes away eventually." So I didn't learn really any of the rules of the more popular American sports until I was in my mid twenties, and I've been to two ballgames in my life. I appreciate the enthusiasm that people have for sports, but it's in the same way that I appreciate anyone talking about their specific fandom.

One of the things that struck me reading Deadball was its sense of reverence for the sport. Its language isn't flowery. It's plain and technical and smart. But its love for baseball radiates off of the pages. Not like a blind adoration. But like when a dog sits with you on the porch.

For folks familiar with indie rpgs, there's a tone throughout the book that feels OSR. Deadball doesn't claim to be a precise simulation or a baseball wargame or anything like that---instead it lays out a bunch of rules and then encourages you to treat them like a recipe, adjusting to your taste. And it does this *while* being a detailed simulation that skirts the line of wargaming, which is an extremely OSR thing to do.

For folks not familiar with baseball, Deadball starts off assuming you know nothing and it explains the core rules of the sport before trying to pin dice and mechanics onto anything. It also explains baseball notation (which I was not able to decipher) and it uses this notation to track a play-by-play report of each game. Following this is an example of play and---in a move I think more rpgs should steal from---it has you play out a few rounds of this example of play. Again, this is all before it's really had a section explaining its rules.

In terms of characters and stats, Deadball is a detailed game. You can play modern or early 1900s baseball, and players can be of any gender on the same team, so there's a sort of alt history flavor to the whole experience, but there's also an intricate dice roll for every at bat and a full list of complex baseball feats that any character can have alongside their normal baseball stats. Plus there's a full table for oddities (things not normally covered by the rules of baseball, such as a raccoon straying onto the field and attacking a pitcher,) and a whole fatigue system for pitchers that contributes a strong sense of momentum to the game.

Deadball is also as much about franchises as it is about individual games, and you can also scout players, trade players, track injuries, track aging, appoint managers of different temperaments, rest pitchers in between games, etc.

For fans of specific athletes, Deadball includes rules for creating players, for playing in different eras, for adapting historical greats into one massively achronological superteam, and for playing through two different campaigns---one in a 2020s that wasn't and one in the 1910s.

There's also thankfully a simplified single roll you can use to abstract an entire game, allowing you to speed through seasons and potentially take a franchise far into the future. Finances and concession sales and things like that aren't tracked, but Deadball has already had a few expansions and a second edition, so this might be its next frontier.

Overall, my takeaway from Deadball is that it's a heck of a game. It's a remarkably detailed single or multiplayer simulation that I think might work really well for play-by-post (you could get a few friends to form a league and have a whole discord about it,) and it could certainly be used to generate some Blaseball if you start tweaking the rules as you play and never stop.

It's also an interesting read from a purely rpg design perspective. Deadball recognizes that its rules have the potential to be a little overbearing and so it puts in lots of little checks against that. It also keeps its more complex systems from sprawling out of control by trying to pack as much information as possible into a single dice roll.

For someone like me who has zero background in baseball, I don't think I'd properly play Deadball unless I had a bunch of friends who were into it and I could ride along with that enthusiasm. However as a designer I like the book a lot, and I'm putting it on my shelf of rpgs that have been formative for me, alongside Into The Odd, Monsterhearts, Mausritter, and Transit.

[keikikait]

can you do something really angsty for rafe please. like one where they might not end up together:(

ᴅʀᴜɴᴋ ᴡᴀʟᴋ ʜᴏᴍᴇ (ʀᴀꜰᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴏɴ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

pairing: rafe cameron x kook!f!reader, (not au, both are early to mid 20s)

word count: 4.8k

summary: from the corner, at the party, you watch him

warnings: ANGST!!!!, pining/whipped reader, rafe & reader are friends, kook!reader & kook!rafe, drinking, not proofread

a note: yeah....yeah....

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

He’s never looked more beautiful. 

You bring the red solo cup to your lips, eye twitching and throat burning as you take a sip. It was foul, cheap vodka mixed with melted skittles, but it was getting you drunk, and that’s all that mattered. You felt like a creep, sitting in the corner of Barry’s living room, practically eye fucking Rafe as he stands in the kitchen, but you couldn’t help it. Your eyes naturally went to his figure, tracing the expanses of his toned arms. 

You wanted him.

You always have.

From the second you met him in elementary school, when you were around 6 years old, you’ve had a crush on Rafe. You remember that day like it was yesterday. You had just gotten new shoes that had laces instead of Velcro, and even though your mom had tied them for you in the morning, you were struggling to tie them yourself after they had come undone. Rafe had spotted you in the courtyard and expertly tied them himself before sticking his hand out towards you to shake, announcing his presence with the upmost confidence. Ward had been raising him to be a businessman, after all.

You fell for him immediately, and you fell hard. As your friendship grew, so did your feelings towards him. You had just moved to Kildare, and your parents had exclaimed that you would be best friends forever when you discovered that you were actually his next door neighbour. Through the trees you could just make out his bedroom window, and if he tried hard enough, he could see right into yours too. You spent the rest of your days wanting, needing, dying for him, hoping one day he would pick you over whatever girl of the week he was seeing. You wondered what it was like to be chosen. You were never chosen by Rafe. You were a maybe, a probably, sometimes even definitely, but never his first choice. 

You remember when he got his first actual girlfriend, April. You were 13, already head over heels in love with him, and were absolutely devastated when he sent you that text. You cried so hard you nearly threw up, yet your reply to him was a simple ‘Congrats!’. You knew that he didn’t like you back then, and that showing any type of jealousy would just drive a further wedge between you. He was already starting to pull away. He was dealing with so much at home that he was taking it out on everyone else at school, constantly screaming and yelling and throwing things. He needed the attention he wasn’t getting, and it seemed that the attention you were giving him wasn’t enough.

At 15, he got a new girlfriend, Lillian. They weren’t serious like how he was with April, but this was the first girl he had in a while that actually stuck around. Lillian didn’t like you, and you didn’t like her. She was, quite ironically, jealous, and was constantly reading your texts with Rafe. She purposely excluded you from parties and hangouts, doing everything in her power to get you away from Rafe. They only lasted seven months before Rafe dropped her, saying: ‘I’ve known her for a few months. I’ve known you my whole life. It’s a pretty easy choice.’

He didn’t get another girlfriend until he was 17, bordering on 18, when he met Jacquelyn. The daughter of one of Ward’s business partners, they were essentially a PR relationship, only hugging and holding hands during fancy black tie events. Jacquelyn was nice to you, nice enough, although you always had a feeling that she knew you loved Rafe. 

And it was hard not to love him. You had tried so many times over the years to just get a grip and move on, but something about him was so alluring. You had watched him grow, blossom into the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, and it was hard not to fall for him. You had tried to gaslight yourself a few times into believing you were truly over him, climbed out of the hole you were stuck in, but the next time you hugged, and you got to bury your face into his chest, you fell right back down. He was the moon in your universe, and you were barely even a star.

Just as you had seen Rafe blossom, you had seen him shrivel up. Watching him get into drugs, alcohol, and violence was heart-wrenching, but he never listened to you. He said you didn’t get it, and you didn’t understand him, but when things got too much for him, or he got too drunk, he would always turn up on your porch, your favourite candy in hand as a figurative olive branch. And you accepted it every time, eagerly opening your arms to welcome him, revelling in the feeling of his whispered apologies in your ear. 

You were always the one he went to.

Until he met Sofia.

You didn’t want to hate Sofia, but you couldn’t help it. She had everything you wanted, and she was everything you wanted to be. She had Rafe, and she was Rafe’s. After Rafe heard of Ward’s death, Sofia is the one he went to, not you. You didn’t see him until weeks later at The Island Club, and as you tried to give him your condolences, she whisked him away. He left the room as quickly as he entered it, leaving only a waft of his cologne and a pit in your stomach in his wake.

She stole him away from you, constantly hanging on his arm and dragging away during parties. He never responded to you anymore, too busy spending time with her, taking her to some stupid boutique on the mainland or going with her to the beach when the UV was too high to resist. Did he rub sunscreen on her back? Did his hands ever slip under the bikini straps as he caressed her skin, did his hands ever wander around the front and slip underneath the cups?

Did you even want to know?

You had grown apart these last few months. You rarely saw him, even out on Kildare, and your conversations were few and far between. Even then, your feelings for him never faded. You would sit on the chair by your window, staring out towards his, wondering if just maybe you would catch a glimpse of him walking by. You felt, for lack of a better word, hollow without him. Rafe was one of your best friends, and after spending years together attached at the hip, you were suddenly missing your other half. It felt like a breakup, except you were never together in the first place. You were grieving a relationship that never even happened. 

You advert your eyes from Rafe, realising you’ve been staring for a bit, and go to take another sip, only to find your cup empty. You sigh, chewing on the inside of your lip as you look back up at the kitchen. His arm is slung around Sofia’s neck, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing at her collarbones as she leans against his chest, a smug look on her stupid pretty face as she sips on her hard seltzer.

You look back at the cup again. You needed more alcohol if you were going to stay sane at this party. You stand up, placing the pillow that was once in your lap on the chair before moving across the room towards the kitchen, manoeuvring through drunk Kooks and groping couples until you reached the linoleum.

‘It’s an open bar,’ Barry said, ‘Take whatever.’ so you didn’t feel weird about immediately digging through his liquor cabinet, pulling out the giant bottle of Everclear from the bottom shelf. You had only ever had Everclear one other time, and all you remember of the night was waking up face first in the sand with seaweed in your hair. You had promised yourself never again, but this night was different. You wanted to stay at this party and be with your friends, but you couldn’t bear to look at Rafe and Sofia sober.

Rafe’s thumb moves up to caress Sofia’s jaw as he watches you set the Everclear down on the kitchen counter. “Damn, already?”

Oh, shit. Was he talking to you? You look over, pursing your lips together. “Uh, yeah. Why not live a little, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess…” He mutters, dragging his thumb down Sofia’s neck. “You know that stuff is hella strong, right?”

Did he not remember that night? “I’m just gonna take one shot, dude.”

“Well, one shot can turn into two, then into four, then…” He trails off. “You know how you are after a few shots.”

You unscrew the Everclear and pour some into your solo cup. Your hands are shaking from the vodka you had before, and you dump in more than you had initially planned on. You screw the cap back on and slip it into the cabinet again before opening the fridge to grab a mixer. “I got it.”

He watches you pour, eyebrows raising when he sees the amount that flows into your cup, but he says nothing, simply continuing to caress the skin of Sofia’s jaw with his thumb. “Mhm, okay.”

Sofia looks between the two of you, sipping on her drink before speaking up, “You never drink like this.”

You don’t even fucking know me, you want to say, but you don’t. You shrug as you open a can of Cherry Coke and dump it into the solo cup before crushing it and tossing it into the recycling bin on the edge of the kitchen. “Just wanna try something new.”

“You could do that with literally anything. Everclear is not a good start,” He sighs, looking down at you. “One shot of that stuff will have you on your ass within the hour.”

You swirl the drink in your cup and shrug again as you leave the kitchen to go back to your spot. “We’ll see.” You glance at Rafe over your shoulder as you take a sip, moving back through the crowd.

It tasted disgusting. You felt the liquor burn all the way down to your stomach, your eyes watering slightly as you hold back a cough, but you keep drinking. You wanted to forget. You wanted to be drunk enough to not care about Rafe and Sofia. You sat back down without a word, grabbing the pillow you had left on the chair and putting it back on your lap. You watched the party from the corner, hesitating as you lift the cup to your lips and take another sip.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

The party gets too hot too quickly.

November was one of the cooler months in the Outer Banks and although the patio door was wide open, you were starting to sweat. The alcohol, mixed with your bubbling anxiety as you watched Rafe and Sofia, was causing you to start to squirm uncomfortably in your seat.

You hadn’t even finished your drink when you head outside, pushing through the crowd bottlenecked at the door, breathing a sigh of relief when you reach the pool area. Your shoulders droop as you start to relax, your skin starting to cool down. The loungers and seats are full, but the pool is empty, even though Barry had been promising everyone it was heated. There were a few Kooks sitting on the edge of the hot tub, their feet in the water, beer cans littering the surrounding ground.

You look around, biting the inside of your lip. You start to move, looking around the expansive backyard before finding a small concrete bench pressed up against an old out of use fountain full of leaves and dried algae. You brush some of the leaves off and sit down, a small noise escaping your mouth at how fucking cold it is. You zip up your jacket, sitting cross-legged as you try to get as comfortable as possible. 

You continue to people watch, taking some brief moments to look up at the stars.

It’s peaceful, and you’re grateful for the silence. The sound from the house is still audible, but it’s muffled enough from being out in the yard. You watch the Kooks in the hot tub, noticing a couple of them starting to kiss.

You were grateful to be out of there.

You were grateful not to be looking at Rafe and Sofia. You couldn’t stop your mind from wandering back to the kitchen. Rafe’s hands on Sofia’s hips. Him burying his nose in her hair. The soft kisses they exchanged every time they thought you weren’t looking. It made your stomach turn.

You look up at the clear night sky, shivering as a breeze passes, brushing the stray hairs that escaped your low bun away from your face. You could see Orion, you could see the moon, you could even see some stars you didn’t know the name of. They manage to distract you for a long time, so long that you don’t even remember how long you’ve been sitting there.

You feel something heavy being placed on your shoulders, the weight startling you. You turn around, ready to snap at whoever had disturbed your solitude, but you're met by Rafe. He's wearing only a t-shirt, his own jacket in his hands. “Couldn't let you freeze to death sitting out here alone.”

“I have a jacket,” You say. It’s true, your jacket was keeping you warm, and a large part of you felt bad that Rafe was trying to give his up. “Keep yours.” As you stop dissociating, your fingers and toes suddenly feel stiff. You move the cup to your other hand, clenching and stretching your fingers.

He ignores your protest, draping his jacket over your shoulders anyway, even going as far as to zip it up under your chin. “No arguments. You looked like a baby deer sitting here shivering.”

His cologne smells so good. It smells like home. “Thanks.” Your eyes follow him as he sits next to you on the bench, beer bottle in hand.

“No problem,” Rafe looks out, his knee brushing your leg as he turns to check out the backyard, eyes scanning the Kooks in the hot tub as he takes a sip of his beer. After a moment, he turns back to you, eyebrows furrowing as he notices your drink. “You didn’t finish that.” he nods towards the cup in your hand.

“No, it’s uh…” You clear your throat and sit up straight. “It’s disgusting. Guess Everclear and Cherry Coke don’t mix.”

He snickers, “Told you so,” He takes another sip of his beer, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he looks at you. “You shouldn’t drink that stuff anyway. I’ve seen people go down quick after only one shot. Not pretty.”

“Eh. Wanted to try something new.” You say, swirling it around in the cup.

“Yeah, well, don’t go drinking Everclear again. I’m not gonna hold your hair back while you’re puking,” He gives you another once over, eyes lingering on your face. “You don’t look very good.”

You weren’t doing good. Not at all. You were trying to live your life without Rafe around, even just as a friend, and it was proving to be a very difficult task. It was so hard to not immediately rush to text him, or to send him a million TikToks throughout the day. You missed him, as much as it pained you to admit. You shrug. “Just kinda tired. Didn’t sleep well.”

He notices the change in your demeanour instantly, the walls that he was so used to seeing come down were up now. You were shutting him out. “You gotta stop staying up late on your phone, then.” he elbows you playfully, hoping to get you to laugh, like old times.

You don’t.

You awkwardly look back down at your drink and swirl it again. You had thought that maybe this unwelcomed distance would do you good, and you would eventually fall out of love with him, but it seems to get harder and harder every day. You just wanted to hold him one last time. You needed him back then, and you needed him still. You let out a breath. “Yeah. Probably.”

He stays silent, taking another sip from his beer as he looks back out to the yard. There was a tension in the air now, but he wasn’t sure if it was all in his head. You seemed…distant. Shut off. He was so used to your bright personality, your happy demeanour, your laugh. Now, you were just…blank. His knee bumps yours again as he shifts. He looked back over at you, watching you for a long time. You were just staring straight, avoiding his gaze.

You clear your throat again, setting your cup down beside you. You unzip his jacket and stand up as you slide it off, trying to avoid his gaze as you drape it over his shoulders. “I’m gonna head back inside.”

Rafe catches your wrist as you start to move away, fingers gentle, but firm, almost reluctant to let you go. His eyes meet yours immediately, holding your gaze captive as he looks at you. “Wait.”

“What?” You ask, picking your drink back up with your free hand.

“We…” he trails off, his thumb rubbing the sensitive skin of your inner wrist as he looks at you. It was cold outside, but your skin was so warm against his. It felt so natural. Like everything was right again. He didn’t ever realise how much he had missed you until now. “We need to talk.”

You try to pull your wrist away. “About what?”

He lets the grasp on your wrist loosen, but he doesn’t let go, his touch trailing down until his fingers are laced with yours. “About this…distance…” he motions vaguely between you two, “That you’ve been building for the past couple of months.”

“That I’ve been building?” You ask, your eyebrows raising. “You’re the one who’s been ignoring me.”

“Not on purpose. I’ve been busy.” he says defensively, almost immediately. He’d be lying if he didn’t say that he had been busy lately. Sofia had been keeping him on his toes lately, and he hadn’t had much time alone during the day, let alone time alone in his own home. But he also couldn’t deny that he had been purposefully avoiding you, knowing that if he spent too much time with you, Sofia would have something to say about it.

“Maybe I’ve been busy too.” You say, although it’s a lie. 

Rafe snorts, almost calling you out on the lie, but he lets it go with a sigh. He doesn’t say anything for a long time, just looking at you. His thumb rubs slow circles on the inside of your palm, the touch familiar. It hurt his chest. “I don’t like this.”

“Don’t like what?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

“This,” He gestures between you and him. “This distance. I don’t like it,” He looks away, a frustrated expression on his face. “We’re friends. We’ve known each other for years. Why do you act like I can’t even approach you anymore?”

Friends. You never hated a word more. You take a step back, sighing as you glance out over the pool again. “Sometimes friends drift apart, Rafe.”

He looks at you, his jaw clenched as he watches you avoid his gaze once again. You wouldn’t even look at him. It was infuriating. He couldn’t believe that you were so nonchalant about all of this. Friends drift apart. That’s what you said. Did he have to mean so little? His hand falls back to his side, but the expression on his face stays fixed. “Bullshit.”

“You’re busy, I’m busy,” You say. “Sometimes that happens.”

“I’m only busy with Sofia,” He snaps, frustration seeping through in his voice. He takes a step towards you, eyes narrowed. “And even when I’m busy with her, I still manage to find time-” He stops himself, taking a moment to slow his breathing. He was getting too worked up. The last thing he needed right now was to blow up at you.

You chug the rest of your drink and set the empty solo cup on the bench, immediately regretting it. You should’ve dumped it out a while ago. The last thing you needed was a drunk walk home. “We’ve both been busy. That’s it, Rafe.”

“That’s it?” He repeats, looking at you incredulously. He couldn’t believe you were so blasé about this. About you guys practically ignoring each other, never talking, practically avoiding each other every chance you got. Was it so simple to you? To forget years of friendship over something so idiotic like being busy? “You’re bullshitting me.”

You hated this feeling. Your heart ached, and your hands went numb, your body full of tingles. You take a few more steps back. You had to do it, you had to rip the band-aid off if you wanted to finally move on. You didn’t want your happiness to live and die with him. “Maybe this friendship thing isn’t working anymore.”

It felt like you had stabbed him straight in the chest, twisted the blade, and then pulled it out slowly, painfully. Every word that you spat out felt like another layer of pain. It was bullshit. You had been by his side through everything. You were always there. He trusted you more than anyone. And this was how you felt now? You didn’t want to be friends? Rafe clenched his jaw, biting back the sting of emotion. “You’re not serious.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Rafe.” You say.

“I want you to tell me that you still give a damn about our friendship!” he says, a frustrated tone in his voice.  “I want you to tell me that this distance is bullshit and that I still mean something to you! That you still want to hang out and talk and everything else I thought we’d still be doing when we got older, and that I’m just reading into this too much! I want you to tell me that you’re just busy, and it’ll all get better in a little bit, because I can’t handle this anymore.”

“Rafe--” You try to speak, but he cuts you off.

He was getting more worked up now, his chest heaving as he stares at you. He had never felt like this before. You always knew how to calm him down from whatever fit he was throwing, but you weren’t doing that now. He takes a step closer, getting into your personal space now, anger evident in his eyes. “Do you even care about me anymore, or are you just pretending you do whenever I’m around? Do you hate me now?”

You would probably still adore him with his hands around your neck. “No, of course I don’t hate you.”

“Then why are you doing this to me?” He demands, his tone a mix of anger and desperation. He was getting louder, but he didn’t care. For once, he wanted to let his emotions out, knowing that they would be safe with you. “Why are you acting like this?” He gestures between you, “You’re shutting me out, and you’re pulling away, and you can’t even look me in the eye without flinching. Why? Tell me why.”

“Because I like you, Rafe!” You blurt out. Your eyes widen slightly when you realise what you said. You let out a shaky breath. “I like you a lot. More than I should. And seeing you with her, with Sofia… it’s so hard for me.”

He stares at you for a moment, stunned into silence by your confession. 

You liked him.

A lot?

More than you should.

His jaw clenched, his mind trying to process everything as he sits back down. He had suspected that you liked him more than a friend for a long time, but he had never dared to try and confirm it. The words were out in the open now, though. And it changed everything.

You hate how silent he’s being. Your voice is shaky when you start to speak again, “And I know that you don’t feel the same way about me. I know that, and I’m okay with that.”

He lets out an almost bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. The sound is harsh in the air, like a slap in the face. “That’s what you think? You think I don’t have feelings for you?” His voice was quiet, but there was something in it that made it even more threatening than if he was yelling.

“I know you don’t.” You say softly, tears starting to well in your eyes. You weren’t stupid. You knew from day dot that he would never feel the same way that you do, and you always knew that he would never be yours, but it was never enough to help you finally move on. 

For the first time in Rafe’s life, he struggles with what to say. It takes him a few seconds to find the words he's looking for. “Jesus Christ, are you kidding me? We’re not romantic or anything, we’re just friends.”

“I know that.” You say.

“We’re just friends.” He says again, as if you didn’t hear him the first time.

Your stomach hurts. “I know.”

He looks away from you, standing up from the bench. “How long have you liked me?”

“Since the day we met,” You say. “When you tied my shoe for me.”

He runs his hand through his hair again. “And you never said anything.” It’s a statement, not a question, and it stings.

“There was no point,” You say. “I knew even back then that you would never feel the same way.”

He doesn’t know what to do. You’re right, he doesn’t feel the same way. He doesn’t like you the way you like him. At least he thinks he doesn’t. He stays quiet, his fists clenching.

“I don’t want to ignore you, Rafe,” You continue. “But maybe this distance will be good for us. I’ll be able to get over you.”

“You shouldn’t have fallen for me in the first place.” He snaps.

It takes you by surprise. Your eyes flutter for a second as tears start to fall, and you take a step back, chest clenching.

He stares at you, his stomach lurching as the first of the tears roll down your face. He stays silent for a moment, before finally sighing. “It’s not supposed to be this way,” He walks towards you again, reaching out to take both of your hands, trying to stop you from backing away from him. “You’re supposed to be my best friend, not some girl in love with me.”

“I’m sorry.” You say.

“Stop apologising,” He says, holding your wrists tightly, like he’s trying to keep you in place. “I hate it when you do that.”

You almost apologise again. You just nod, looking down at your feet before moving your gaze back over to the pool. No one has noticed you two yet.

He follows your gaze, looking towards the pool. No one had even spared a glance in your direction. It was just you and him, secluded in the quiet corner, surrounded by a party that seemed a mile away. He doesn’t know what to say, or how to react to your confession. All he knows is that he still hates seeing you cry.

“Do you still want to be friends?” You ask quietly, looking up at him.

Rafe hesitates. 

His first instinct is to push you away. To tell you that it would be best if you two just never spoke to each other again, that things would be better that way. But he knew he didn’t mean that. And when he looked down at you, seeing the heartbreak on your face, he knew he couldn’t say it. He wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings, and he had no idea what he was doing, but you were his oldest friend. You had been by his side through everything. There was no way he was pushing you away that easily.

He pulls you into a hug, pressing his nose into the crown of your head. “Of course, I still want to be friends,” he murmurs. “You’re my best friend, you idiot.”

You hug him back, and it feels so good to finally hold him again. You interlock your fingers behind his back. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” he mutters, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Stop apologising.” He stays silent for a moment, soaking in the feeling of being able to hold you again. He had missed this. He had missed you more than he had ever realised.

You stay there for a while, nose buried in his chest, before you speak again. Your voice is quiet, muffled against his jacket, but he can hear you loud and clear. “I love you.”

Rafe sighs, pushing your hair away from your forehead before placing a kiss on it. “It’ll pass.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

part two is here!

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join my permanent obx taglist here!

[tritoch]

the warrior of light as a game-breaking force of violence

there's a moment, relatively early in dawntrail, that establishes succinctly how out of place the warrior of light (as the savior of eorzea and main character of four successive final fantasy game plots) is in what is essentially the story of fresh new final fantasy protagonist wuk lamat. and it sets up quite nicely how the framework of fantasy video game conflict pulls the warrior of light forever towards violence as the expansion goes on.

spoilers through 7.0 follow

consider wuk lamat's kidnapping and rescue. bakool ja ja holds his blade to wuk lamat's throat, taunting you. his lackeys line up against your party in neat little ranks suspiciously reminiscent of a classic final fantasy encounter screen.

and it simply does not matter to the warrior of light. you stride right through their combat setup because you are beyond that by now. the warrior of light has absolutely no respect for the "we are about to do ATB combat" lineup. the camera even jumps the line for you in one continuous rotating shot, crossing the axis of action as though to emphasize through the disruption of visual convention how far outside the game's boundaries you are.

this is how far you are above the problems of dawntrail's first half. you cannot even be bound by the normal rules of cinematography and video game combat. everyone else here lined up for a good old-fashioned scrap and the warrior of light said haha nope actually. i'm going to stroll through here like a god of war astride this tiny battlefield. your henchmen cannot even raise a hand to me. i don't even have to engage in violence directly anymore. my mere presence is enough.

in fact, not only can bakool ja ja's henchmen not raise a hand to you, he's not even worthy of your direct intervention. he kidnaps wuk lamat and steals her keystones and frees valigarmanda and kidnaps hunmu rruk and none of it warrants the warrior of light so much as raising a finger. he's wuk lamat's recurring villain, that's not your problem. you're just here to take in the scenery.

zoraal ja spends his whole life aspiring to be thought of as his father's equal and a worthy successor to the dawnservant as the "resilient son." all it takes for gulool ja ja to acknowledge you as a warrior on his level is like a five minute sparring match. the acknowledgement from gulool ja ja that zoraal ja hungered for his whole life and would eventually go full cyborg supervillain to get via regicide is something the warrior of light receives casually in a throwaway line after their level 93 solo duty on the way to more important plot conversations.

it really seems for a second, in the first half of dawntrail, like you are strong enough and the problems simple enough for this to be a clean and easy adventure. bakool ja ja? power of friendship'd. mamook? successfully reintegrated, no worries about the crimes against humanity. rite of succession? handily won. nothing can stop you. even duty finder queue times have been conquered: you can do all your duties with trusts now.

all of which only makes it better when the second half has sphene ask you and wuk lamat directly: could your strength have been enough to save alexandria? could you have found a different way?

i know some people get very annoyed we don't intervene in the gulool ja ja fight. now personally i think if you see arthur and mordred squaring up it's rude to intervene, but beyond that, it simply wouldn't have mattered. by the time zoraal ja's forces arrived in tuliyollal, alexandria and tural were already on a collision course and doomed to conflict. your hands alone could never have averted this conflict. sphene was always bound to do what she did—and certainly a gulool ja ja without his reason would not be any more inclined to peace than wuk lamat and koana were.

there's a great little moment just before living memory where estinien, champion at reading the room, is like "okay so if thancred and i stay here that frees up you up, aibou, to do what you do best and save the world and have epic fights. woo!!!" and immediately afterwards you basically have to apologize to alisaie because part of the sort of unspoken premise of this whole trip in the first place was that you were, finally, not going to plunge into mortal peril to save the world. you were finally going to take it easy. you were finally done with that. and she has to sort of ruefully be like nah it's fine bro. i was trying to get you to take it easy and not do insane risky world-saving violence. but y'know these things (interdimensional invasions) happen.

by the time you reach the very last trial, all pretense that the warrior of light could have ever been beyond these problems has vanished. you were, very emphatically, not strong enough to hold onto all that was dear without sacrifice. gulool ja ja and otis and cahciua died. yyasulani was irreversibly changed, physically colonized and culturally decimated by another dimension. you systematically shut down each part of living memory, and all its friendly, charming, loving ghosts, with your own hands. with your own clicks.

not even the vaunted strength of the warrior of light is enough to overcome sphene's inexorable logic of conflict. and so, in the end, she plucks you out of the crowd and says, explicitly for reasons of your strength, that you are going to have to do a boss fight now. you are going to have to kill her and you are going to have to do it in a proper 8-on-1 trial, and she forces you to affirmatively state that you understand you're going to kill her.

did you think you were above it all? did you think you could get away from here with your weapon undrawn, with your hands clean? that for you and you alone the logic of conflict comes undone? wrong. wrong. wrong.

your strength cannot redeem you, says sphene. your friends cannot make these sacrifices for you. if you would play the hero then you must play the hero. no half-measures.

back to the duty finder with ye.

[the-physicality]

im ruminating about the expansion draft....would love some rules

[thef1diary]

Hot ‘n’ Cold | M. Verstappen

Kinktober 6/11 - Temperature Play

Summary: Max turns up the heat while simultaneously cooling you down

warnings: 18+ smut, ice play, wax play, fingering, oral (fem receiving), reader is blindfolded

wc: 3.9k

kinktober masterlist

© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work

The room hums with sensation—the faint crackle of the candles, their flames flickering and casting a soft, wavering glow that you can’t see but can almost feel on your skin. The soothing scent of woodsy notes drifts through the air, mingling with the cool breeze that flows in from the open window, grazing your exposed skin. Darkness wraps around you, the blindfold snug against your eyes, intensifying every touch and sound as your other senses sharpen.

You lie completely naked on the bed, the cotton bedsheet beneath you soft against the bare expanse of your back, grounding you into the moment. Every inch of you feels alive—hyper-aware of the air’s caress, the way your skin prickles with goosebumps as the night air whispers over your curves. The chill makes you shiver, your body reacting instinctively to the contrast between the warmth of the room and the coolness of the wind.

Each breath you take is deeper than the last, your chest rising and falling in time with the pounding of your heart. You shift restlessly, the sensation of the sheets sliding over your body a reminder of your vulnerability—your openness to whatever’s coming next. Bound by darkness, the anticipation wraps around you tighter than the blindfold itself as you strain to listen to Max’s soft but deliberate footsteps in the room.

You can hear the subtle shift in his breath as he draws closer, a low murmur escaping his lips, “I’m right here, schat.” You can’t see his expression, but the way his words linger in the air tells you enough. He’s savoring the sight of you—completely vulnerable, naked and waiting.

You breathe his name into the darkness, a soft, needy plea that you can’t contain. “Max…” The sound is quiet, but you know he hears it, knows exactly what you’re begging for. His low chuckle vibrates next to your ear, the warmth of it brushing your skin, and you nearly flinch at how close he suddenly is. You can imagine the wicked grin curling at his lips, the way his gaze would trace over you, as if his eyes alone could set your body ablaze.

His breath is hot and teasing against your neck, the words that follow dripping with possessive satisfaction. “You look beautiful like this,” he murmurs, his voice low and dark, “completely at my mercy.” His fingers glide along your throat, the touch feather-light, just enough to make your breath hitch in your chest.

You trap your bottom lip between your teeth, stifling the whimper that threatens to escape, as the idea of letting him have his way with you sends a jolt of heat through your veins. Desperate for some form of contact, you reach out, your hand seeking the familiar warmth of his cheek, but he’s quick to catch your wrist. His grip is firm but not harsh, guiding your hand back down to the bed, pinning it there as a quiet warning.

“Tsk, tsk,” he murmurs, his tone playfully scolding. “Impatient, aren’t we?” You can almost hear the smirk in his voice, feel the restrained power in the way he holds you still. “Do you want me to bring out the restraints?” He taunted, already knowing your answer.

You shake your head slowly, a faint tremor running through your body as you whisper, “No.” The word is barely audible, but it carries the weight of your decision.

You don’t want the restraints; the very thought makes you tense with the need to be able to touch, to grasp at him whenever you need to. You want to feel every second, savor every sensation, and have the freedom to reach for him, to let your fingers roam over his skin when the need becomes too overwhelming.

The silence stretches for a moment, broken only by the soft clinking of ice in a bowl as Max reaches for it. The sound makes you shiver in anticipation, your senses bracing for the coolness you know is coming. You can almost picture it—his hand dipping into the bowl, the ice sliding between his fingers, and the glint of candlelight reflecting off its smooth surface.

He speaks your name, the sound rich and intimate, tugging you back into the moment. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you reply, your voice steady even though your heart is pounding in your ears. The darkness seems to deepen around you, heightening the feeling of vulnerability, but you’re not afraid. You trust him, even as you tremble with anticipation.

For a heartbeat, it’s quiet. Then you feel his hand on your chin, firm but gentle, guiding your face up toward him. Before you can fully register what’s happening, his lips capture yours in a kiss that’s startlingly cold, a sharp contrast to the warmth you were expecting. Your breath catches in your throat as you realize why—there’s a small piece of ice between his lips, the chill of it spreading through you with every movement.

The kiss deepens, and the sensation of the ice heightens everything, the smooth surface pressing against your tongue as he shifts it between you. It glides over your lips, and you feel the gentle scrape of his teeth against the ice as you both play with it, your tongues entwining in a teasing dance, pushing and pulling the cold shard back and forth. Every brush of his mouth, every flicker of his tongue sends sparks of sensation tingling down your spine, a shudder rippling through your entire body as the ice melts slowly, its coolness trickling down the back of your throat, leaving behind a slick chill that only fuels the heat coiling low in your belly.

As the last remnants of the ice begin to dissolve, Max takes it back, pressing the remaining sliver against your lips, his mouth hovering over yours as the final shard melts into a drop of water that trickles down your chin. He pulls away then, leaving you breathless and tingling, the warmth of his breath a stark contrast to the fading coldness. Your skin feels electrified, your senses heightened to the point where every shift in the air, every brush of his fingers is like a new shock to your system, making you ache for more.

His lips graze over your skin, leaving a tingling chill in their wake as they drift down to the curve of your neck. The lingering cold from the ice still clings to his tongue, a stark contrast to the heat of his breath that fans against your pulse. When he nips at your ear, your gasp is involuntary, your senses already on edge as the warmth of his body hovers just above yours, chest to chest, his warmth pressing down on you while his mouth still feels impossibly cold.

You feel the mattress dip as he shifts his weight, repositioning himself with a subtle grace. Your breaths come shallow, your chest rising and falling in anticipation, unable to predict where he’ll touch you next. You sense movement, and then the cool touch of another ice cube glides over your collarbone. It feels like a shock to your heated skin, the sudden coldness racing down your body as the ice begins to melt, leaving a delicate trail of water that dips along the curve of your breast and flows over the lines of your ribs. The droplets travel downward, tracing the path of your curves, every chilled stream making you hyper-aware of the way your body responds to his touch.

You’re lost in the sensation, focused on the rivulets of water cascading down your skin, the way they follow the contours of your body. The ice melts quickly, the warmth of your flesh consuming it, and just when you think you can predict where he’s going next, Max’s mouth finds your nipple, taking you completely by surprise.

He had popped another cube into his mouth, his lips closed around the sensitive peak, the chill of the ice was strong as he swirled it over the hardened bud, a circle of coolness that sends jolts of pleasure straight to your core. You arch beneath him, your back lifting from the bed as the sensation sharpens, the contrast between the heat of your skin and the coldness of the ice making every touch feel like a shockwave.

He works the melting ice with his tongue, pressing it against your nipple before pushing the softened shard to the back of his mouth, letting the warmth flood back in. Then, he draws the ice forward again, holding just the tip between his lips as he hovers over your breast. You feel the frigid touch as he places the cube directly against the peak, stiffening your nipple even further as he traces slow, deliberate circles, the cool pressure of the ice coaxing more shivers from you.

Max’s hand slides down to grip your waist, steadying you as he teases your tits with a rhythm that drives you wild, alternating between the cool caress and the sudden heat when his mouth seals over your skin again. You can’t see a thing, but every nerve is on high alert, your body arching toward his touch, desperate for more as he continues his relentless exploration, leaving you trembling beneath him.

Max’s voice cuts through the haze of sensations, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine curiosity. “Are you cold?” he asks, his thumb tracing idle circles on your waist as if gauging your reaction.

“A little bit,” you mumble, the words spilling out in a breathless whisper. The absence of the ice on your skin has left you tingling, the chill lingering even as your body heats under his touch.

His chuckle is low, dark. “Let’s fix that,” he murmurs, and then you feel it—the sudden, searing heat of melted wax dripping onto your skin. The first drop hits just below your breast, and you flinch, a gasp tearing from your throat as the unexpected burn spreads across your flesh.

“Fuck,” you breathe, arching toward the heat as more wax follows, each drop marking a line down your body, scorching a path over your stomach. The pain gives way to a maddening kind of pleasure, and you can’t stop the moan that slips out, your hands clutching the sheets as the heat sinks deeper.

But then, just as quickly, you feel the sharp bite of ice, its frozen touch tracing right over the fresh trail of wax. The stark contrast has you jerking beneath him, your back arching off the bed as a shudder rips through you. “Oh god,” you whimper, your body trembling at the sudden shift between scalding and freezing. The two extremes war with each other, leaving every inch of your skin tingling, every nerve lit up as he teases you with the combination.

Max grins at the way you react, his voice a low murmur against your ear. “Look at you, so responsive,” he taunts, rolling the ice over your nipple just after another stream of wax drips onto your stomach. The icy sting makes your nipple stiffen almost painfully, while the heat from the wax continues to burn lower, pooling in your belly.

“Please,” you moan, your hands twisting in the sheets, desperate for more of the maddening mix of heat and cold. “Max—”

“What is it sweetheart?” he murmurs, his lips ghosting over your skin as he lets another drop of wax fall, this time onto your inner thigh, followed by the chilled kiss of ice. “Tell me what you need.”

“Please,” you gasp, your voice breaking with need as you tilt your hips up, chasing the sensations. “I need you, need more—don’t stop.”

His chuckle is dark, almost possessive, as he shifts the ice lower, sliding it between your thighs. “I’m not stopping,” he growls, his fingers parting your legs as he drags the ice up the sensitive skin. “I want you burning and shivering for me all at once.”

Max’s hands glide down the curves of your thighs, gripping them firmly as he positions himself between your legs. With a slow, deliberate movement, he pushes your thighs wider apart, exposing you completely to him. His breath hovers over your inner thigh, the heat of it ghosting over your sensitive skin, sending shivers racing through your body.

You hear the soft clink of the ice cube against his teeth before he pops it into his mouth, his lips curling with a wicked grin as he watches you waiting for a sensation. The anticipation is electric, a tight coil of need winding inside you, and you can’t help but let out a desperate whimper, your body arching towards him, seeking the touch you crave.

Max’s hand slides up the insides of your thighs, spreading you wider as he lowers his head. The first touch of his tongue, icy cold from the melting shard, makes you jolt, a cry escaping your lips as the sudden chill hits your most sensitive spot. He doesn’t hesitate—he dives in with fervor, pressing the flat of his tongue against your slit, the cold sensation heightening every nerve ending, making you keen with a mix of shock and pleasure.

The ice continues to melt in his mouth as he teases your entrance, swirling his chilled tongue around in slow, deliberate circles that have you trembling. Max’s tongue flicks upward, tracing a searing line along your slit, his mouth alternating between the cold remnants of the ice and the growing heat of his breath.

Each sensation is a contrast that sends your body spiraling, torn between the icy chill and the warmth that gradually takes over. He hums against you, the vibration adding another layer to the pleasure that’s building within you, and you can’t help but buck your hips, seeking more, needing more.

His grip on your thighs tightens, pinning you in place as he shifts his focus, his lips wrapping around your clit, the pressure of his mouth coaxing a louder moan from your throat. His tongue dances over the sensitive bud, alternating between slow, languid strokes and quick, teasing flicks that leave you breathless. He draws back just enough to let the last of the ice slide from his mouth, pressing the cool shard against your entrance with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

The sensation is exquisite; the cold pushes you to the edge, your body tensing as the pleasure crescendos. He slips the melting ice inside, and you can feel the contrast of its coolness against the warmth that blooms within. His fingers replace the ice, sliding in easily, curling upward in a way that has your back arching off the bed, your breath catching in your throat.

Max’s mouth returns to your clit, his tongue working in perfect harmony with his fingers. The pleasure builds in waves, each one stronger than the last, crashing over you with a force that steals your breath away. He keeps the rhythm steady, his mouth and fingers driving you closer and closer to the brink, until all that’s left is the tightening in your core, the impending release that hovers just out of reach.

And then, with a final flick of his tongue, you shatter. The pleasure bursts inside you, radiating outward as your body trembles and shakes in his hold. He doesn’t stop, his movements gentle as he helps you ride out the waves, coaxing every last tremor of pleasure from your body.

Max leans over you, his breath brushing against your forehead before he plants a soft kiss there. “You’ve been so good for me,” he murmurs, his voice threaded with pride and tenderness. His words wrap around you like a comforting blanket, and you can’t help the shiver that courses through your body at the intimacy of the moment.

When your hand grazes his cheek, he welcomes the touch, pressing your palm against his skin, letting you feel the roughness of his stubble beneath your fingers. His own hand covers yours, the warmth grounding you in the present, as his thumb sweeps over your knuckles in slow, soothing circles. “Are you alright?” he asks, concern lacing his voice even as satisfaction gleams in his eyes.

“Yes,” you breathe, your voice trembling with the aftershocks still rippling through you. As he touches the blindfold, preparing to remove it for the next round, you quickly shake your head, a silent plea for him to leave it on.

He hesitates, reading your expression even beneath the blindfold, before a knowing grin curls at the corners of his lips. “You want to keep it on?” he teases, his voice low and rough, a hint of challenge in his tone. You nod, unable to form words around the need thrumming inside you. You don’t want to see; you want to feel—every touch sharper, every sensation more vivid, without the distraction of sight.

Max’s lips find yours for a brief, searing kiss before he trails downward, his mouth grazing over your jaw, the curve of your throat, and further still. You brace yourself for the cold return of the ice, your body tensing in preparation, but instead, it’s the sudden heat of melted wax that kisses your skin. It splashes onto your thighs, a sting that swiftly turns into a deep, throbbing warmth. You cry out, your voice a raw, startled moan that fills the room. “Oh, God, Max!” you gasp, your entire body jolting at the contact, the sting quickly melting into a deep, throbbing warmth that sets your skin aflame.

The wax drips in slow, steady rivulets down your inner thighs, pooling along the delicate skin just above your core. You gasp, your back arching at the contrast of the hot wax against your cooled flesh, the sensation flooding your senses.

He continues his path, painting a trail of heat along your lower belly, each drop falling with deliberate slowness, giving you just enough time to anticipate where the next one will land. The wax cools and hardens, forming a web of sensations across your skin, while Max’s gaze follows every twitch and shiver, savoring the sight of you undone beneath him.

His hand slides down to part your folds, his fingers spreading your slick arousal as he teases your entrance with just the tip of his finger. When he finally pushes inside, it’s a slow, torturous movement that makes you moan deeply, your hips bucking to take him deeper.

As soon as his fingers are inside, he tilts the candle once more, letting a stream of wax spill onto your clit. The heat bites sharply, and you flinch at the sensation, the cry that leaves your lips a mix of shock and want.

Max pauses, his fingers still inside you, his other hand putting the candle down and reaching out to stroke your cheek in a calming gesture. “Too much?” he asks, his voice gentle, seeking reassurance. But your answer is immediate and breathless: “More.”

“Good girl,” he praises, his words laced with dark satisfaction. He resumes, the wax falling in slow, deliberate drops over your skin, each one landing with a sharp sting that fades into a deep heat. He drags the stream from your chest down to your belly, letting it pool momentarily around your navel before dripping lower still. The wax cools and hardens into tiny sculptures on your flesh, their texture a constant reminder of the heat that seared there just moments before.

He nudges the cooling wax on your clit with his thumb, his touch sending shudders rippling through you as he teases the sensitive nub. He alternates between dropping fresh wax onto it and rubbing the stiffened patches, the sensations shifting from stinging heat to a deep, pulsing warmth. Each time the wax lands, it feels like a burst of fire coursing through your veins, followed by the soothing, rhythmic strokes of his fingers.

“Max…” you breathe, his name a plea and a prayer on your lips, as his fingers work deeper inside you, curling and stroking with an unyielding rhythm that has your thighs quivering uncontrollably.

His hand moves faster, the intensity building, driving you closer and closer to that peak of release. The lack of sight only amplifies everything—the way his fingers curl inside you, the lingering heat of the wax, the low timbre of his voice murmuring praise as he brings you to the edge again and again. You’re lost in it, the world reduced to the feeling of his touch and the desperate, aching need for more.

“That’s it, liefje,” he murmurs, his breath fanning against your skin as he shifts closer. “Let go for me… just like that.” His voice is a soothing balm, urging you to give in to the building pressure, the way the sensations all blend together—wax, warmth, his touch—pushing you closer to the precipice.

When your orgasm crashes over you, it’s like an explosion of sensations, your body convulsing under the relentless pleasure. He doesn’t stop, drawing every wave out, his fingers working in perfect time with the rapid flutter of your pulse, until you’re left panting and trembling, spent and sated in the aftermath.

As the last shudders of your orgasm subside, you feel Max slowly ease his fingers from you, his touch lingering as though reluctant to let you go. He murmurs something soft, a mixture of praise and reassurance, though you’re too dazed to make out the words. His hands are gentle as they work to untie the blindfold.

“There you are,” he whispers, his thumb brushing softly across your cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear you hadn’t noticed. “You did so well for me, love.” He leans in, peppering your face with kisses—your forehead, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, each one a soft balm against your heated skin. His lips find yours in a tender kiss, a stark contrast to the intense sensations from moments ago, and you melt into it, allowing his care to envelop you.

Max pulls back just enough to shift you into a more comfortable position, cradling your body against his chest as his hand rubs soothing circles on your back. “I’ve got you,” he murmurs, the words a gentle promise as he rocks you ever so slightly, letting the calm wash over you like a tide rolling back out to sea. You cling to him, basking in the feel of his strong arms around you, grounding yourself in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear.

When your breathing evens out, he reaches for a small bottle of oil on the nightstand, soaking a cotton ball. “Let me take care of you, sweetheart,” he says softly, bringing the cotton ball to the patches of dried wax on your skin. His movements are unhurried and tender, the oil breaking down the stiffened wax with each gentle swipe, leaving a trail of warmth and comfort in its place.

Max’s hands move with a comforting rhythm, never rushing, as he finishes the last traces of wax and wipes away the residual oil with a clean cloth. His fingers linger as they drift over your body one final time, not to stimulate, but to soothe, letting you know you’re cared for—completely and entirely. He pulls you back into his arms once more, pressing his lips to your hairline. “I’m so proud of you,” he murmurs against your temple, his breath warm as it brushes your skin.

You look up at him, and the soft, affectionate smile on his face makes your chest tighten with an emotion that love wouldn’t simply justify. He leans down, capturing your lips in another tender kiss, one that feels like a promise—of care, of trust, of love.

He doesn’t let go, even after the kiss ends, keeping you tucked securely against him as he reaches for the covers to pull them over both of you. “Just rest,” he whispers, his fingers threading through your hair. “I’ve got you.”

Taglist: @cheer-bear-go-vroom @ggaslyp1 @nominsgirl @moll1701 @mrs-saturday @teamnovalak @sassy-chan @ruti26-11 @kennysimp101 @falling-feels-like-flying @laeblue @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bountychanti @savewaterdrinkvodka @cloud-55 @aarchiives @holylovercopsludge @black-fireproofs @lazydragonpeach @biancathecool @myownwritings @rebelatbay @ethereal0810 @leclercsluvs @01rrdbull @fallingforfalll2 @lilorose25

[lightsoutletsgo]

good night's sleep — cs.55 (18+)

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

word count: 5.1k of pure FILTH

warnings: daddy kink, oral and fingering (f receiving), sub space, countdown to orgasm, written with thicc reader in mind but can be read by anyone, brief allusions to choking, sub!reader, brief mention of possible size kink (but blink and you’ll miss it), use of pet names; amor, baby, princesa, corazón 

You grunted and groaned, wriggling yourself further into the sheets as you tried to get comfortable. You finally found a comfortable position and closed your eyes before huffing in frustration as you grew too hot under the covers, flinging them off. What on earth was wrong with you? You turned to look at the man sleeping next to you. Led on his stomach with one hand under the pillow his head was positioned on, the other laying next to him, occasionally twitching as he dreamed. 

You subconsciously pressed your thighs together as your eyes gazed down the vast expanse of his shirtless back and shoulders, coming back up and eventually stopping on his thick arms, biceps bulging even though he wasn’t flexing them. Your mouth watered and you immediately realised what was wrong. 

You were needy. 

Quickly slipping your panties off underneath Carlos’ shirt you slowly crawled over to him, softly poking his side 

“Carlos…” He was quick to wake up and roll over to face you, 

“Mi amor, is everything okay?!” As he slowly realised you were calling him he quickly shot up, hands cupping your face as he sat up against the headboard 

“Amor talk to me…” 

“I-I…” You trailed off, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Come on baby, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong, okay?” Carlos’ eyes searched your face for any indicator, one hand dropping to rub soothing circles onto your hip- his hand paused as he slowly realised why you’d woken him up.

“D-do you have panties on right now ?” 

You felt your cheeks heat up heavily as you slowly shook your head shyly… 

“No… need-needed you…” a smirk overtook Carlos’ face as he guided you to crawl onto his lap, plopping yourself down directly onto his crotch where you could already feel him hardening. You let out a soft moan as your hips automatically began to grind. 

“Nuh-uh uh amor,” The hand on your hip gripped tightly as the hand cupping your face slid down to hold your throat gently. “Not yet.” whining needily, you pouted as he laughed at your cute reaction, leaning in to press his lips to yours. 

You felt his lips stretch into a smile through the kiss. 

“Such a sweet girl” he murmured into the kiss “Always so good for me”

You broke away to nod frantically, 

“Always good for you, wanna be your good girl!” Carlos hushed you gently, 

“Easy corazón, it’s okay, let me take care of you hmm?” You nodded, feeling your head grow fuzzy and your chest grow warm as Carlos led you down in the space next to him before climbing on top of you. You sighed happily, feeling small underneath him and the dominant aura he emitted. 

“What do you want, baby?” You frowned, biting your bottom lip, he knew what you wanted, why was he making you ask? 

“Come on princesa,” Carlos’ thumb pulled your lip from between your teeth, gently soothing over the bite mark you’d left behind, “I need to hear you say it so I know for sure it’s what you want, okay?” You nodded, 

“I-I want you to make me cum… p-please… daddy?”

“Good girl,” Carlos cooed at you, pressing kisses to each of your hot cheeks and one to the tip of your nose before he looked straight into your eyes, 

“You want my fingers or my tongue amor? or maybe…” He smirked at you, pausing as his tongue licked his lower lip slowly, “you want both?” you squealed and brought your hands up to cover your face at his lewd words as he gave a low chuckle, 

“I‘ll take that as a yes, princesa…” He pressed one final kiss to your forehead before moving down your body. Gently pressing kisses down the column of your neck, 

“You smell so sweet, mi amor…” He lifted the hem of his shirt to sit above your breasts, inhaling sharply as his eyes caught your perky nipples, he left soft kisses on the swell of each breast before moving to leave gentle licks and nips to your soft tummy and thick hips. He eventually reached between your thighs and you moaned at the sight of him between your legs staring up at you.

“Well well well, what do we have here? You really are needy aren’t you hmm?” Carlos hissed as his fingers collected the slick that was already at the entrance of your tight hole and you heard him gasp when he realised how it coated your inner thighs and dripped down to your ass, pooling on the sheets beneath you, 

“Oh poor baby… you must have been feeling so needy before daddy woke up huh?” You nodded, a small whine slipping from your throat, he hadn’t even done anything yet and you were already losing your mind. 

“Okay then princesa, I’ll take care of you,” A moan tumbled out of your mouth as you watched him hook your legs over his broad shoulders, his arms flexing as he tightly gripped the tops of your plush thighs to keep them open. You broke eye contact when he inhaled, closing your eyes tightly as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, partly embarrassed at the lewd display and partly too turned on to think straight. He cursed in Spanish, the low and rough sound sending shivers down your spine. He dropped his head down to gently lap at your clit and you wailed out immediately, hands flying, tightly gripping his hair. 

Carlos growled into your cunt at the sensation, making that tingling feeling in your lower belly immediately flare up.  

“Daddy!” 

“That’s it amor… daddy wants to hear every pretty noise you can make…” His lapping and sucking continued before he nuzzled his way down even further, tongue darting out to taste your sweet arousal straight from the source, 

“You’re delectable princesa, you know that?” Moans were constantly pouring out of your mouth as he drank up every last drop that your sweet pussy offered him. 

“Mmm, wanna stretch you out…,” You felt one hand slip from around your thigh as his middle finger began teasing your tight hole and he laughed as your hips bucked up, chasing his hand, 

“Easy there princesa.” You whimpered as his finger slid into your heat. 

“M-more Carlos p-please…”

“You want more? But we’ve only just started… You’re such a needy little thing, I love it.” He pressed a light kiss to your clit as his finger curled upwards, finding that spot that made your hips jerk and your thighs shake. You moaned as your eyes rolled back, closing tightly as your body succumbed to the sensations. You were pulled out of that space by a sharp slap to the inside of your thigh, eyes shooting open to look at Carlos. 

“Eyes on me amor or I will stop, understand?” You nodded quickly, “Words baby…” 

“Y-yes ngh, daddy!”

“Good girl… I just want to look into my pretty baby’s gorgeous eyes when she cums.” He smirked into your pussy as he leant down to begin gently sucking your clit once more, his finger slowly curling into your heat. You whined as you felt your cunt throb from his ministrations. 

“D-daddy… feels so good!” You writhed underneath him, hips beginning to chase the feeling. 

Everything felt hot. It was all too hot and too much, 

“P-please please please…” you chanted as he began to drag sloppy licks and kisses over your clit and his fingers sped up slightly, his free hand tightly squeezing your thigh, the flesh spilling out between his fingers. You grabbed at his wrist on your thigh, drooling over the muscle and veins you felt as his body flexed in an attempt to keep your body in one place. You tugged at his hair, Carlos refusing to let up. 

“Carlos, I’m so close!” You whimpered out, “Wanna cum please…” Everything felt fuzzy and you could hear a roaring noise filling your ears. Your eyes filled with tears as your body convulsed and thrashed from the overwhelming pleasure. 

“Sh-sh-shhh it’s okay princesa, I’m gonna count down for you to help you focus okay?” You were beyond words now, unable to form any syllables other than his name and incoherent moans and gasps. 

“Alright then mi amor 5… Such a sweet girl.” You whimpered at Carlos’ voice, 

“4… Look at you taking everything I give you so well…”, His words, other than the numbers, were murmured into your pussy between more soft sloppy kisses to your clit, his spit dripping down and soaking your pussy lips even more,

“3… Can’t wait to see you cum angel, always so beautiful when you cum for me…” His fingers sped up as each movement pushed them up against your g-spot,

“2… Fuck yes princesa, squeeze my fingers more that’s it, good girl…” You felt yourself on the edge, ready to tip over, the only thing you needed was-

“1… Cum for me princesa.” A strangled squeal was ripped from your throat as you obeyed his command and finally felt your orgasm hit you, the hot white heat spreading from your core, right to the tips of your fingers and toes. 

“Fuck yes… good girl… you’re squeezing my fingers so tight baby, did you like that huh?” Carlos slowed his fingers down before gently sliding them out of you as he crawled back up your body, 

“Clean my fingers up then baby.” He held his fingers in front of your mouth, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you happily began to suck them clean with a contented sigh 

“Good girl, mi amor, so good for me.” He slid into bed next to you, pulling you into his arms tightly, your back to his chest, relishing in the way your soft body curled up into his muscular one, your fingernails gently running up and down the arm that held your waist tightly. He continued to press soft kisses to your head, 

“Sleep now princesa, I bet you’re feeling a little tired huh?” His deep voice rumbling through your back sent pleasant vibrations up your spine and you giggled, pushing yourself back into him further until your ass met his crotch. You gasped, 

“Oh! Umm… What ‘bout you…” You trailed off shyly, Carlos hushed you gently, chuckling at your cuteness,

“I’m okay amor, you can help me tomorrow okay?” You nodded before snuggling yourself back down into his warmth, 

“Such a pretty girl aren’t you?”, “Love you so much mi corazón”, “You always make me feel so good”, “So proud of you mi amore.” Each praise was followed up with more gentle kisses as you drifted off to sleep. 

“Sleep well princesa.”

[harryspet]

well kept [epilogue] r. cameron

[warnings] dark!ceo!rafe x reader, size difference, billionaire!older!rafe, shy!reader with low self-esteem, reader is a person who stutters, boss x personal assistant, heavy abuse of power, kidnapping, NONCON/DUBCON, emotional/mental manipulation, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: a little wrapup of the story!

word count: 3.7k

In which you begin to question whether submission is the only escape.

well kept masterlist

8 months later …

Monotonously, you brought a wet rag across the large, rough-hewn wooden dining table that dominates the space of the dining room. It took you nearly thirty minutes to clean it thoroughly, wiping away every speck of dust before meticulously arranging the plates, napkins, and glassware with care, making sure everything was just as it should be.

It’s perfect when you get done. With a soft sigh, you flick off the chandelier of large glass lanterns, letting the natural light filter in through the tall windows, casting a gentle, golden glow across the room. You turn toward the kitchen, pulling off your cleaning gloves, ready to move on with your routine.

Then the doorbell rang.

You make your way through the downstairs of the expansive cabin, towards the front entrance. Glancing through the floor-to-ceiling windows as you make your way to the front door, you spot the culprit: a gray van parked down by the lake road. The sight feels out of place, a reminder of the outside world you rarely encounter.

Unlocking the front door, you huff as you pull the large piece of solid wood open. It always feels like it weighs a thousand pounds though you can’t recall Rafe ever having any difficulty with it. Still catching your breath, you greet the grocery delivery man, Connor, with a small smile. Before you, four-hundred dollars worth of groceries sits in plastic bags and you place a hand on your hips as you examine the challenge before you. 

“Let me help you carry them inside,” Connor offers kindly but you’re already shaking your head, “Mr. Cameron always tips so well, really, it’s the least I could do.”

“N-No worries, this is mmm-my workout for the day,” You reply, momentarily, taking in the fact that this was one of the few contacts you had with the outside world. Truthfully, Rafe had never explicitly said that Connor wasn’t allowed to carry the grocering inside but everytime you imagined Rafe coming down the stairs and spotting the two of you together.  If the young man wanted to keep receiving handsome tips from Mr. Cameron, he’d keep his interactions with you brief.

“Okay,” He seemed to shrug, confused, “I never see you in town … you work from home too?”

“Yeah,” You lie without hesitation, voice steady, “We’re just … homebodies.”

“What do you do for work? … Sorry if that’s intrusive. It’s just … this house is insane. You guys must be loaded.”

You laugh, and Connor shifts on his feet, smiling shyly back at you. To anyone else, the house in all it’s grandeur and isolation, must seem like a dream come true, “I help manage some stuff for Mr. Cameron’s business. I just help out where I can.” You hope it’s enough to end the conversation.

He still looks impressed, gaze wandering back to the cabin’s towering windows. As the silence stretches, you grab a few bags from the ground. He doesn’t immediately notice your discomfort, “I get it,” He adds, “Ya’ll are living the dream up here. Away from all the craziness.”

“Something like that,” You keep your face neutral until it falters. The slightest creak of floorboards from upstairs. Your heart skips a beat and you force yourself to grab a few more bags of groceries, “Well, I should get the ice cream inside before it melts. Thanks again, Connor.”

“I’ll get out of your hair, Mrs. Cameron,” He replied, though there’s a flicker of curiosity in his eyes, “See in you two weeks. Take care, alright?”

You nod silently, turning on your heels, determined to keep your focus on the task at hand. The rhythmic thud of footsteps descending the stairs grows louder, but you force yourself to keep moving, your eyes locked on the kitchen ahead. With a small grunt, you heave the bags onto the kitchen island, the plastic crinkling as you place them down.

Just as you spin around to grab the rest of the groceries, you collide hard with a solid wall of muscle, Rafe’s chest, unyielding like a brick wall. The sudden impact knocks the breath from your lungs, and you stagger slightly, instinctively looking up to meet his piercing gaze.

“Everything okay?” He asks, most likely taking in your wild eyes. 

Wearing a button-up checkered shirt that tucked into well-fitted trousers, you assumed he’d been taking some video calls and wanted to look presentable. 

“Yeah … groceries,” You said, gesturing to the kitchen island, “Uhm, C-Connor just dropped them off.”

“That kid knows how to linger, huh?” Rafe placed his hands in his pocket, tongue poking at his gums as he thought something over. 

Kid. Rafe was probably only a handful of years older than him. “He’s just doing his job,” you said quietly, your heart racing as you busied yourself with the grocery bags, hoping to avoid further scrutiny. Rafe followed closely behind, a silent reminder of his constant presence, his need to control even the smallest interactions.

It wasn’t like Rafe was resistant to helping around the house. He cleaned after himself for the most part. Honestly, you’d expected just being a house wife to be easier than being a personal assistant, especially easier than being a barista. However, Rafe’s mountain estate was enormous, and Rafe decided against keeping the full staff he had at his Charlotte mansion. It was like he wanted you to handle all of it, to be completely busy, and maybe you wouldn’t get any ideas about wanting more for your life. 

He hadn’t realized that you stopped wanting more for your life when you woke up, drugged from whatever he had slipped you, and found him tucked between your legs, mouth wet from tasting you. The memory hit you as you leaned down to grab the next load of grocery bags. 

Not able to separate you dreams from reality, you weren’t immediately sure whether Rafe was really in between your thighs. Eyelids heavy, only your mouth opened, a strangled moan left your lips. Lifting your head, you looked down with blurry, hooded vision. You never slept in anything silk yet underneath your fingertips you could feel the fabric covering your chest. Your right thigh was hooked high over your hip, Rafe’s hand firm in the crook of your knee, holding your leg in place as he kept you open. 

Even in your weakest state, his touch was commanding, and controlling. You were barely awake and the pressure he was creating didn’t fully register until you were close, the orgasm fully bringing you to consciousness. 

Reality came crashing donw like it always did when you woke in the morning. Your life wasn’t your own anymore. Usually, you’d at least have a moment alone, a moment that was still yours before you were back on his routine. But now, even sleep seemed like a choice you no longer controlled, another thing he had taken from you.

You started to register your own breathing, the way your chest rose and fell rapidly, just as he crawled on top of you. Shirtless, his eyes still sleepy but focused enough on the task at hand. He easily pushed inside of you, and as your breathing calmed and you came down from your orgasm, he pressed his chest into yours. Your noses touched together as he sheathed himself inside you further, “You’re getting so good,” He murmured, voice smooth and full of praise, “Taking all of me. Squeezing me so tight.”

You had no choice but to meet his gaze, your eyes locking with his, accepting the intimacy forced upon you.You wouldn’t cry this time, you’d remain stoic, and numb. Mentally, you could try to feel nothing, no matter that you felt him across every nerve on your skin. His praise hung in the air, and his presence consume you. 

It occurred to you then that you had no idea how you’d gotten here. Sure, you knew the mistakes you’d made that led up to this point. You knew the lengths Rafe was willing to go to, the power he was willing to yield, lives he was willing to ruin. 

You turned your head to look around the room just as Rafe settled into the side of your neck, leaving a trail of kisses along your skin. Your lips parted to yelp at each deep stroke, each time he pushed against your cervix, but your eyes darted around the space. You’d been here before, your crotch pressed against a pillow, when Rafe forced you for the first time to make yourself orgasm. 

Usually, Rafe was relentless. But as soon as you could put together that you were in his house with no idea how you’d gotten there, his thrusts became sloppier, rushed, and he nestled against the side of your face. His lips brushed your ear, his breath uneven as he spilled inside of you. The intimacy of the moment felt strange, almost out of place, as if he was in a hurry to finish before you fully pieced together what was happening. His weight sagged against you, and for a moment, the room felt suffocating. 

He collapsed beside you, though he kept an arm draped over your stomach. Slowly, you lowered your leg until you were laying straight. 

You didn’t dare move. 

Rafe’s hand brushed against yours and you turned your head quickly to see a concerned look on his face, “Here, let me do it,” You felt that numbness that had been clouding you ever since you realized you controlled nothing. He easily procured the bag from your grip and you watched as he easily took the rest of the bags into his arms. 

When you both retreated back inside, you heaved the massive front door shut again, locking yourself back into your gilded cage. Surprisingly, he helped you unpack the groceries. It would’ve been faster to do on your own, you had to direct him a few times about whether certain items belonged in the fridge or pantry but you tried to be thankful for the help. 

You were putting up the canned goods in the grocery, neatly stacking them on the shelves of the bedroom-sized pantry, when you felt his eyes still watching you, “He sure does talk a lot though, doesn’t he?”

Better not to use his name, “The grocery guy?” You swallowed, speaking slowly in order to keep your voice steady. 

“Connor,” He said, voice dripping in malice. 

“He’s j-j-just being friendly,” You said, trying to diffuse the tension.

“Friendly,” He repeated, his tone mocking, “... You know, I don’t like him talking to you.”

“I-I didn’t encourage it,” You said softly, knowing whatever words you had would be a mistake, “If you don’t like him …I-I c-c-could g-g-go to the store from now on.” 

For a long moment, Rafe didn’t respond, and you found yourself just trying to maintain your composure, canned goods forgotten in your hands, as you waited for his verdict. 

“What do you want me to say, sweetheart?”

You were forcing his hand, asking for too much when you knew he couldn’t give it to you, “Thh-Thhh-That you’ll think about it?” 

Lately, you’d been testing his boundaries. Not answering everytime he called. And when you did answer, your tone was flat and indifferent. Wearing clothes from your wardrobe you knew he’d deem unflattering. Yoga pants or shorts were okay, never sweatpants. He wanted to see your every curve. Every inch of what he believed belonged to him. You were his wife after all, he’d paid a handsome price to get you here. 

Your obedience occurred in waves. A few weeks on and a few weeks off. It was the best way your brain could cope with the control. He’d grow happy, content with your behavior and that’s when you decided to flip a switch. Sometimes, Rafe was almost reluctant to punish you. 

A thought crossed your mind. A way to gain a small ounce of control. Though it came at the high cost of satisfying his urges. You decided to beg. He loved to hear you grovel and degrade yourself. It’s one of the only ways he gets himself off.

“Please,” You whispered, your voice trembling. In your baggy flannel and sweatpants, braids tied back in a messy bun, you stepped forward. You wanted to sound weak. Even weaker than your stammer usually made you sound, “I’ll go with a bodyguard. I-I’ll wear my ring. I won’t t-t-talk to anyone.”

It surprised him. You saw it in the way he shifted on his feet and his head tilted to the side curiously. It was in the way he watched you carefully, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. The words were poison on your tongue but it didn’t stop them from filling out. 

“Is that right?” His voice was low and dangerous, how it usually was when he was calculating a devious plan in his mind. 

When the silence decided to stretch again, you filled it, “I’ll be better. I-I know I–I-I’ve been dissapointing you,” You closed the distance until you were inches from him, letting him look down at you, as you turned your eyes downcast. 

“Hmm,” You felt his hand raise and press into the side of your neck, large thumb caressing your jaw, “Then you know that’s the kind of privilege like that you’ll have to work towards?” 

Being trapped here with him felt like you’d fallen to the bottom of the totem pole. Somehow being his assistant, hanging on his arm like arm candy, and keeping his cock warm underneath his desk was better than what you were now. At least then you could see your friends. You could interact with people other than Rafe, Topper and Eleanor. Then you had a job. You were a real human.

“Yes,” You began, “I’ll d-do anything.”

Rafe’s eyes turned down as you reached one of your hands into the waistband of your sweatpants and then beneath the fabric of your underwear. 

“Y/N…” His voice deepened and you looked up at him with big, wanting eyes. 

“Can I please touch myself, Sir?” You asked, “I-I want to shhh-shhhow you how good I can be.”

He kept as still as he could. His eyes were answering your question. He didn’t need to verbally give you permission.Maybe he stayed silent because if he spoke, the desperation in his voice might betray him. Rafe didn’t need his own release in that moment—what he craved more was the sight of you undone, vulnerable, completely under his control. Watching you touch yourself, watching your eyes roll back in pleasure, was enough to satisfy him. 

You bit down on your lip, moving your fingers over your soft folds. Gently, you rubbed yourself, teasing yourself. His gaze didn’t waver, but you saw the the way his nose flared, as he tried to keep his composure. 

“Please,” A soft moan escaped your lips as you worked yourself up, the motions becoming smoother as you grew wetter, “P-Please, Sir?”

Rafe inhaled sharply and watched as you reached further, towards your aching hole. He couldn’t see it exactly but you showed him with your eyes, with your parted lips and soft expression, that you dipped a finger inside of your aching hole. 

Despite how you feared him, how he’d ruined your life, you couldn’t help but enjoy the twisted way that you could control him. The tension in the room was thick and you saw the way he was fighting against exerting his control over you, over taking over. Even in a small way, you could make him bend to your will, you saw it in the way his fist clenched at his side. 

Your pace quickened in a way that brought you closer to the edge, the friction sending waves of pleasure over your skin. 

He reached out suddenly, grabbing ahold of your arm, his grip strong but not painful. He pulled your fingers away from underneath your waistband, “You don’t get to finish until I say so,” he murmured, his voice low and authoritative. You kept your expression neutral, though every muscle in your face tensed with the effort to hide your frustration, resisting the urge to press your lips into a thin line, “Take off your clothes for me, sweetheart.”

Your body frustrated, you hurriedly pulled down your sweatpants, exposing your lacy black underwear. Next, you removed the flannel, Rafe’s eyes fixed on your newly exposed skin. You would never admit it, but deep down, you always felt comforted by the fact that never seemed to bore of seeing you. Though you’d never had a traditional honeymoon period, now that you’d lived together for so long, you thought he might lose interest at some point. Everytime he saw you it was like he was seeing you for the first time. 

Every glance he gave you was filled with that same insatiable desire, as though you were still something to unravel. The thought made something flicker inside you, a mixture of fear, and something far more complicated.

You hesitated when it came to your bra and underwear, suddenly hyperaware that Rafe was fully clothed. There he stood in his work attire and part of you wanted to hold onto those inches of fabric, “All of your clothes,” Rafe added, sensing your hesitance, and he didn’t let you stall any longer. You yelped when he grabbed you by the waist, swinging your body onto the cold, marble countertop of the kitchen island. Determined, his fingers pried your underwear down your thighs and you watched them fall to the floor. Your thin bralette was next, and you raised your arms obediently, letting him tug it over your head. 

As soon as you were bare and freezing, Rafe’s lips curled into a devious smirk, “Finish,” He said, “Go ahead, sweetheart.”

His eyes were dark and hungry, watching every movement, every breath you took. Your instinct was to resist, to deny him, but you were too far gone. This is what you wanted in the first place. A trade. Your submission for a chance at freedom. You didn’t test his patience, knowing this was a better option than being bent of the counter. You complied, your hand slowly sliding down your stomach, until they were back between your legs. 

Slow, deliberate circles. 

You were so used to the feeling of shame, the heat you’d feel in your cheeks, the tears that would sting your eyes. Freezing, like a puppy out in the rain, you trembled. The shame was almost ritualistic, something to expect everytime you were intimate. Your body always seemed to respond, anyways. Maybe it was time for you to fully accept your part in this. Maybe you were beginning to crave that feeling. 

Your pace quickened, your fingers moving in urgent circles, and you felt your release building. 

“That’s it,” He said, “You’re already close, aren’t you?”

You nodded, fully aware of the smugness in his tone. Your fingers worked and your moans became louder, “Please,” You begged, that pressure between your legs growing unbearable.

“Please,” You heard yourself say over and over, feeling yourself come undone. His hands slowly move to rest on either side of you, trapping you between the cold marble and his towering figure, “Please, Rafe.”

“Come, sweetheart,” He finally said, “Let me see you fall apart.”

A whimper escaped your lips as your orgasm hit you almost painfully. Your release was inevitable, you’d practically perfected getting yourself off, and your body responded to his commands like a pupper on a string. Your body tensed, your back arching, as you gasped over and over. Your fingers faltered, slowly, but soon there were fingers brushing against that sensitive area again. 

You tried to scoot your body away but Rafe pressed your thigh with his large palm, keeping you pinned. Slowly, he moved his fingers, prolonging that sensation, drawing out your orgasm, “There it is,” He whispered, “Such a good girl when you want something from me, huh?”

You nodded weakly, agreeable. 

As you realized he was trying to work you up again, you panicked, “P-Please.”

“Hmm,” His fingers pressed harder, “Look at you. You know what? If you give me one more, I’ll let you go shopping next week. How’s that sound?”

“I-It hurts,” You whispered, voice braking. A tempting offer that you were now too overwhelmed to even consider. His fingers didn’t relent, rubbing against you harder now, dragging you toward another release whether you wanted it or not.

“That’s not an answer,” Rafe teased, his tone almost playful. He leaned down, his breath hot against your ear, “Come on, one more. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

Your body betrayed you again. The buildup was slower than your first orgasm, so torturous that tears began to fall down your cheeks. When your body was convulsing again, it was not as sweet as the first, but just as powerful. You came for him again despite how much it hurt, how raw and exposed you felt.

His grip on your thigh relaxed and you body went limp against the counter. You throbbed between your legs, so much so you weren’t sure if you would be able to walk without a limp. You felt his thumb brush over your cheek, wiping your tears, “Good girl. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Too tired to do anything but lay there, Rafe finally stepped back, leaving you shivering on the cold countertop. A coldness returned to his expression. You’d asked for this. Wanted something from him. Somehow, it felt like you hadn’t won anything at all. Now you were realizing this was a punishment, most likely for your behavior over the past weeks. 

Rafe turned his back on you, as if he hadn’t just pushed your body and mind to the brink, “Maybe I’ll take you shopping after all.” 

The promise of being let out of the house felt hollow. A reminder that your independence was something he could grant, or take away, on a whim. 

You lay there, motionless and speechless, trapped in the swirl of shame, regret, and anger. Then, without warning, a dangerous thought crept in, slipping through the cracks in your resolve: Maybe if I’m good enough, if I do everything he asks, I’ll get more freedom. More moments of escape.But before you could push that thought away, another surfaced, darker and heavier: Maybe I deserve this.

i hope you enjoyed this series!!